#& no i don’t care how properly tagged they are. it’s appreciated but it’s the equivalent of slapping a bandaid on a stab wound

[hearts1ckness]

atp idk if my anger is about the fact that *those* audios are such a rampant problem in asmr spaces & no matter how much victims beg for people to stop making them, no one listens OR if it’s the dismissal of the audio being dddne/part of dark & spooky month, so it’s apparently perfectly okay

[writing-good-vibes]

brad dourif characters x reader headcanons: birthdays (fluff and smut)

requested by anon !! what do our beloveds do for your birthday (spoiler, they (pretty much) all spoil you) warning for smut. more notes in tags

charles lee ray

avoids his own birthday but goes all out for yours

buys (or steals, don't ask) you a lot of presents

i mean a lot !!

new tv (stolen)

a lot of lingerie (classy)

you have a very late night the night before (takes you to a very rough bar)

lazy morning

expect a very happy birthday fuck to start the day

doesn't make you breakfast because he hates cooking

but does go out for coffee and your takeout breakfast of choice to bring home for you

has a cake professionally made/decorated

(because you made one for his birthday)

the message on top is something v horny like "your pussy tastier than this"

or it's like one word like "whore <3"

either way it is both hilarious and embarrassing that some poor bakery worker had to frost those words

takes you out for dinner (very fancy restaurant)

or to the movies

another happy birthday fuck when you get home

("how old are you again? guess that's how many rounds we've gotta get through tonight")

billy bibbit

billy doesn't much like his own birthday (his mom was too overbearing for him to ever properly enjoy himself)

but he is great at organising yours

lazy morning

as many kisses as years you are old

makes you breakfast in bed because he is a sweetheart

he makes you a present !!

he's actually really good at drawing and he fills a notebook with little drawings and pictures

(drawings of you and of things you love and one at the end of himself that he's embarrassed about but you love it)

then immediately thinks it isn't good enough and that he should of just bought you something

but you kiss him and reassure him that it's beautiful

the best present you've ever been given

you stay in that night to cook dinner together

he's definitely made you a cake !!

is it very aesthetic and the frosting is your favourite colour/flavour

sitting outside to watch the sunset !!

sheriff brackett

does everything in his power to make the day extra special for you

(has told his deputy not to bother him unless something really important happens)

buys you a sentimental/thoughtful gift

like some fancy thing related to your favourite hobby (e.g. expensive art supplies if you're an artist, etc.)

breakfast in bed !!

in your underwear, sun coming in through the windows

definitely the kind of guy to get ballons and banners to decorate the house with

(which is embarrassing but also wholesome)

takes you out to dinner at a very tasteful restaurant

you are birthday girl and he won't let you forget it

he's set the bar pretty high sex wise so has to pull out all the stops to make it extra special

clear your diary for the next 3 to 5 hours

("daddy's allowed to treat the birthday girl")

jack dante

forgets your birthday every time

its not that he doesnt care

but he has a lot going on

and keeping track of time whilst he's down in that basement is easier said than done

when you remind him that it is your birthday he gets more excited than you

sends you out to get cake and jelly and ice cream

which you begrudgingly go and get because you really think he might cry if you dont

sex is abundant but when is it not with jack

as it is your birthday he might be kind enough to give you a reach around whilst he rails you

when he actually gets you a present

(usually like a week late)

its either something actually brilliant (like the latest futurist technology (idk what they had in fake-future-2003))

or its something real fucking sleazy like a weirdo dildo ("so you don't get lonely when i'm not around")

doc cochran

would rather die than celebrate his own birthday

but he wants you to be happy on yours

(and every day)

gets you the best present

(where from? he has his ways)

definitely like some first edition copy of a niche book you like (poe, shakespeare, homer, that kind of thing)

makes sure he has no scheduled visits that day and wants to spend as much time with you as possible

(will personally beat Al's ass if he sends for him for no reason)

you spend the day talking about this and that

and he reads to you from the books he got you because goddamn does he have a beautiful voice

gets jewel to bake you a cake !!

gives you some special loving on your special day

this man knows how to take his time

usually he is busy and feels like he doesn't pay enough attention to you

so he makes up for it ten fold on your birthday

grima wormtongue

for a long while your relationship is pretty casual so he doesnt even know when your birthday is

once he actually figures out when your birthday is he wants to do something special

even if he isn't the most... emotionally open person

grima has sticky fingers so he tends to be able to get a hold of things that others cant

gets you something exotic, something you might not of ever even seen before

(think, pineapples or some other middle earth equivalent delicacy)

you appreciate him going out of his way for you

makes an excuse for you to leave meduseld with him

you go up to the fields and look out at the horizon

tommy ludlow

you both bunk off work to spend the day together

he is excellent at buying present(s)

knows exactly what to get you because he's a good listener

definitely gets you a record or new clothes

neither of you have much money so all your plans are always simple

but tommy is the perfect person to just hang out with, he's so mellow when he's with you

has no plans for the day except letting you do whatever you want

you drive around the city

end up going by the natural history museum

(because both of you are actually secretly soft and love holding hands and wandering around the exhibits)

or the met (because you both know your fair share about art, working around fashion shoots all day)

that night you go to some shady dive bar

(and drink too much, if that is your thing)

tumbling in through your front door, you two were never going to make it to the bedroom

"happy birthday" he smirks against you as you both lay, tired, on the living room floor

leo nova

spends so much money on you

mostly because he likes to show off his money

("when can i treat my girl to all that she deserves if not on her birthday?")

but partly because gift giving is his love language, or at least the only way he feels comfortable showing that he cares

a new dress that costs more than the rent on your old apartment, shoes that cost twice as much

takes you to the fanciest restaurant possible

and then fucks you in the dirtiest way possible when you get home

and he can go all night long

*wink wink*

tucker cleveland

hasnt celebrated his own birthday in years so has kind of forgot that birthdays are a thing

remembers yours like 3 days before and kicks himself for leaving it so late to get you a present

(you help him out by giving hint to what you want in the run up to your birthday)

keeps the whole thing very lowkey

which you don't mind, you're not into big celebrations anyway

he does get you a gift in time, thanks to your hints

he's probably at work during the day

but after he gets home and you have dinner together, he hands over his present

although you sort of already knew what it'd be, its definitely the thought that counts with tucker

"and the best is yet to come, don't you worry" he says smiling

of course, the real present is him pounding you over the table

(because who has the time to go up to bed)

[youngbloodlisk]

Candy // Choi Chanhee

- not proofread just because i'm lazy i'm sorry

- sub chanhee + dom female

- mommy kink

- edging

- manhandling

- aggressive

- handjob

- riding

- pegging

- degradation

- a little praise

- a little embarrassment kink

- slight possessiveness

- stoplight color system

- orgasm denial

- fake sympathy

- dacryphilia (crying kink)

- oral (male rec)

- fingering

i threatened to tag @denehbola in this and i am a woman of my word 😎

He arrived home exhausted.

He didn't even remember to take off his shoes before he practically fell over onto the couch.

I asked him about the concert while I took his shoes off for him and put them by the door.

Three encore stages, he said.

Then a party backstage for some of the staffs' birthdays.

Then Changmin wanted to go over choreography for a special gift they've been preparing for deobis' anniversary.

He said he's never been so tired in his life.

I told him to sit back and relax: let me take care of him.

I brought him a bottle of ice cold water and a satisfying plate of food.

We turned on a movie and I massaged him in every place where he groaned that it was sore.

He took his time with his food, but drank three bottles of water before the movie was over.

I told him to follow me to the bathroom so I could give him a bath. As shy as he was, he was also too sore and tired to take his clothes off efficiently, so he let me undress him with a gentle, warm touch.

He sat in the white tub, water surrounding him and soapy bubbles floating around the edges.

I told him when to close his eyes and brace for water or soap, just like an adult might bathe a small child.

He smiled the whole time I washed his pink hair, clearly enjoying the scalp massage that came along with lathering his shampoo.

Once he was clean, he wrapped up in a navy blue robe and sat on the bed, telling me what clothes to take out of his pajama drawer and which brand of underwear he wanted (considering differences in style and texture).

He decided to take it on himself to get dressed for bed and brush his teeth.

I continued a soft, but firm, massage while he brushed his teeth.

When he finished, we laid down in the bed and he snuggled into me.

He didn't know if he could sleep yet, he said.

He was exhausted, yet deep down he was still on a bit of a performance high. He hadn't fully relaxed yet.

That's how we ended up here.

Chanhee's clothes pooled on the floor by the bed, myself still fully clothed.

One of my hands lightly wrapped around his cock, moving at a perfect pace, the other hand rubbing his torso.

What better to calm him down than a slow, gentle handjob? Or so I thought.

I notice his face scrunching, and the way he's pressing his lips together.

"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong, baby?"

"N-No, no... not at all... I just... I-I really want-..."

He gets embarrassed and covers his face with his hands, pushing his legs together (which, in turn, makes me lose my grip on him) and bringing his knees up.

"Look at me." I say in a gentle voice.

"I can't." His voice is muffled through his hands, until I grab his wrists and pull his hands away.

"Look at me, Chanhee. Talk to me. What do you want?"

"I want... I want mom- mommy-... I-" His eyes begin to well up with tears, which often happens when he's embarrassed or feels guilty.

"Hey..." I use the hem of my shirt to wipe the salty tears away from his face. "There's no need to cry, darling. Do you want mommy to make you feel good? Be rougher with her babyboy?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Please, mommy." He says quickly, relieved that he doesn't have to say it himself, yet still embarrassed to be asking for it. "I'm so s-sorry. Your... your hand just f-felt so good. I want mommy to... to do m-more to me." His voice is shaky and barely audible. Unless he's already really in the moment, he hates asking me to do anything. He feels as if he's being selfish and greedy.

Yet, his dick begins to turn red and the tip gets shinier by the second from the embarrassment.

"You know your body better than I do, and I know you're still a bit sore. So, do you remember the safe words?"

"Yellow to slow down, red to stop."

"What about the safe actions?"

"Either snap repeatedly or tap on you repeatedly."

"That's my good boy." His cheeks flush red at the comment as I move to sit up against the headboard. "Lay across my lap, ass up."

"Wait, what?" He's clearly surprised with the way I'm choosing to start this.

"Do you wanna be a good boy tonight?"

"Oh- I do- I- Yes."

"Yes, who?"

"Y-Yes, mommy."

"Then lay across my lap. Ass up. Don't make me ask a third time."

"Yes, mommy." He mumbles in a slurry mess and crawls to me, positioning himself perfectly across my lap.

I run my hand across his pretty ass and grab at it, surely making him think I'm about to spank him, before pulling his legs apart and running a finger slowly across his hole.

Chanhee squirms just a bit at the touch.

I reach down between his legs and wrap my hand around his hard dick. My grip is much firmer and stronger than before and my pace is much slower.

He tries to hold back his reactions as much as possible, which only makes it more satisfying when he blurts out a sweet, desperate...

"More. M-more, please."

I take my hand off entirely, except for the fingers tracing his dripping tip.

Chanhee let's out a desperate whine and pushes his hips back. I wrap my hand entirely around his tip. I use my other hand to roughly grab his hair and tug on it, pulling his head back just enough so I can lean over and look him in the eyes.

"The whines we like, but you know that right now your body is mine to control. Yes?"

"Yes, m-mmmommy. I'm ssso sorry, I'll be a g...good boy. I promise..." He chokes out between pretty moans as I begin progressively stroking his cock faster. "I'm... I'm getting clo-close."

"I can tell, baby. Your cock talks." My comment about the twitching taking place in my hand was delivered with a smirk, knowing that it would embarrass him.

His breath begins to hitch and I know he's so close. He's right on the edge. Just a couple more strokes will cover the sheets in white.

I pull my hand away, eliciting the cutest whining and begging I've ever heard from my precious boy... as well as the most disobedient reaction he's ever given.

A soft, desperate mumbling of "no" and "please" rolls off Chanhee's pink little tongue, and he tries to turn around and sit up while reaching back to grab my hand. It happens so fast that he's already grabbed my wrist before I can react.

It takes more strength than you'd imagine to control him and hold him down, but I've gotten good at finding his weak spots in many different ways.

I hold him down in a position which has his face pressed against the bed and his ass sticking up in the air.

I lightly brush my fingertips down his shaft.

"Please, p-please let me cum-"

"Even when you just misbehaved and I had to pin you back down, you run your slutty mouth. Do you think you deserve to cum already? After that?"

"Please, mommy..." He sounds as if he's crying, but there are no tears yet.

He's probably alright, knowing him, but better safe than sorry. I quickly ask him for a color check.

"Green."

I continue to lightly brush my fingers against him, waiting until he comes down from his denied orgasm. As soon as Chanhee's body has calmed, obvious by the way he relaxes and the way his sounds change, I stop touching him and carefully move him off of my lap.

As I move from my previous spot, I instruct him to sit where I was.

He does so, curled up and pouting at me.

"Aw, did baby not get to cum?" I mirror his pout and nod, crawling towards him.

I harshly pull his legs apart and position my body between them so he can't close them back. I grab his chin, squishing his cheeks up and parting his pouty little lips.

"Did my bad babyboy not get to cum?" I keep up the fake sympathy.

"Please, please, I'll be so good. I-"

"Good? You don't seem like a very good boy today. That's okay." I trail my way down his body until he can probably feel my hot breath on his slit. "If you don't wanna act like a good boy, I'm not gonna treat you like one."

I wrap my lips around his tip and pull off with a pop. I watch his weak eyes as I lick long and slow up his shaft before taking him in my mouth, going further and further until I almost gag.

It doesn't take long, not a whole lot of bobbing and sucking, for him to get close again.

He's already been denied or delayed twice.

He starts twitching in my mouth and his hips buck up involuntarily.

I look up to meet his eyes, but instead I see them staring at the wall with water welling up.

That's my cue to pull off of him with another sweet pop.

I watch as the tears begin to roll down his cheeks and he squirms and jerks around, his breathing heavy.

"Please, n-no more teasing... I need to cum, I need- I'm begging you, baby-"

"Excuse me? Begging who?"

"Please, mommy-" It comes out like a whisper.

"Louder."

"Please, m-mommy-"

I wrap my hand around his neck and press on the sides.

"You little slut." I whisper in his ear. "You're begging to cum but you can't even beg properly. Louder." I press the end of louder into his neck with a kiss.

"Please! Please, please, please... I need mommy to make me cum, please!" His precious voice cries out, loud enough that anyone else in the house would hear.

He shakes and whines, desperately tugging at my clothes and groping my body as I kiss his neck.

When I pull away and try to get off the bed, Chanhee grabs my shirt and pulls me back. He places a hand on the back of my neck, caressing softly, and he presses a loving kiss to my lips.

He does this sometimes in moments like this. It's a nonverbal green indicator.

We have a "red" equivalent safe action, two in fact, but this kiss is how Chanhee reassures me that he's okay. He's enjoying himself, and enjoying his time with me. He isn't hurt or upset in any way whatsoever.

Green light.

I really appreciate it.

I linger in front of his face for a moment after the kiss, looking deep into his eyes with sincerity and love.

"You're doing so well, sweetheart. You're taking everything I give you perfectly. You'll tell me if it gets too much, right?"

"Of course."

I place one more quick kiss on his lips before getting up off the bed.

"Lay on your back, baby. Right on the edge of the bed." I tell him.

He starts doing as I say, but freezes when he sees me pulling my shirt off. I pretend not to notice the way he stares me down as I undress, practically drooling. By the sound of the bed, I assume he finally lays down when I disappear into the closet.

Chanhee's eyes widen at the sight of me walking out of the closet, finishing securing my black strap-on.

"I th-thought-"

"You'll cum. Be it untouched now or later when I ride you... you'll cum. Legs up, babyboy."

He lifts his legs and holds them up, and I grab the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer.

After proper application, a green light check, and making sure he's relaxed, I slowly push into him.

A soft moaning/gasping jumble leaves his mouth at the feeling of the familiar strap. I begin rocking my hips, slowly and carefully speeding up. I can't help but smile watching him as I fuck him.

His jaw lax.

His eyes leaking tears, which stream down the sides of his face.

His beautiful skin glistening with sweat.

His pink hair messy and sticking to his forehead.

His hard dick hitting his stomach.

His pretty fingers digging into his thighs as he holds his legs up.

His body lightly bouncing back and forth from the impact of my thrusts.

And my favorite part, the sweet sounds coming from his mouth.

"You look so beautiful... my pretty babyboy. So perfect. Give me your hands, angel." I slow down and he takes a moment to breathe before letting his legs rest on my shoulders and grabbing my hands.

I hold tight to him and increase speed immediately, pounding into Chanhee.

His back arches, his body starts shaking.

He's being so loud that even the neighbors probably know how good he's getting fucked.

"Listen to yourself, babyboy. You're my little toy, aren't you? Such a pretty slut for mommy. Say it."

"I'm a s-s...slut f...for... mommy. You ma...make me feel so g-good, mom...my..."

"Do you wanna cum?"

Chanhee nods, only making me slam into him harder.

"Use your words, slut."

"Please! Please let... me... c-cum..."

"Where are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum inside mommy?"

"Can-... Can I?"

I drop his hands and pull out of him, quickly working to take off the strap.

Chanhee lays in place, exhausted, but watching me with expectation.

"Move back on the bed a bit." I instruct him, to which he shakily obeys.

Once I place the strap to the side to wash later, I crawl on top of Chanhee and hover over him.

I press my forehead against his before placing a kiss on his cheek.

I sit up, straddling the boy. Taking his red, dripping cock, and lining it up to my entrance before lowering slowly.

We both let out sighs of relief when he's finally fully inside me.

For him, he's been denied so much pleasure already that knowing he's actually gonna cum this time is relief.

For me, I've been throbbing and dripping this entire time. That's my relief.

I know I can't take my time while riding him, that would be truly cruel. He's already taken so much, he deserves this.

Not to mention, it surely won't take long at all for either of us to cum.

I do my best to keep my balance as I start to bounce.

"You feel so good, babyboy..." I moan out, my voice breathy and slow. "You fill me up so well, you're so good for me."

I rock as I move up and down on him to intensify it.

His cock hits deep inside me, grazing my g-spot perfectly.

Chanhee digs his fingers into my hips.

"F-Feels... so good... I'm... cl-close..." His strained voice comes out in a moan. His chest rises and falls in a mix of shallow and deep breaths.

"Cum in me like the good... good little slut you are."

I keep my pace steady, as difficult as it may be, and it doesn't take much longer before a loud moan rips through the air like an orchestra in perfect tune and unison.

Music to my ears.

Chanhee's body jerks and his head is pressing hard against the bed, his back arching and his breath hitching. I feel a rush of warmth inside me.

I slow down until it comes to a natural stop as I lift myself off of him and lay next to him, my head on his chest. I can feel his breathing become more consistently deep.

My fingers trace along his skin.

"Thank you... but... you didn't-"

I quickly cut him off with a genuine tone, so he knows I'm not upset.

"I know. It's okay. I edged you so much, it doesn't matter. You deserve it, angel."

My confusion keeps me from reacting to what happens next.

He readjusts so his fingers can reach my pussy.

"I wanna take care of my mommy... because she always takes care of me."

He sinks two long fingers into me and presses his thumb on my clit.

I gasp, already being so close from riding him.

Chanhee curls his fingers in a rhythm to match his thumb massaging my clit.

I press my face into his chest as he fingers me to an orgasm. He kisses my head softly when I clench around his fingers and cover them in a new wetness.

"Can I lick them?" He asks after letting me come down from my high and catch my breath.

"Of course you can, angel."

He pulls his hand back up to his mouth and sucks on his fingers, covered in a blend of both of us, like he's sucking on candy.

"Chanhee, you always treat me so well. You're so good every time. Taking everything I give you, begging for mommy. I appreciate you so much, babyboy."

He finishes licking his fingers clean with a pop that mirrors the way I sucked him off earlier.

"It's not just me. You're the best I could ask for. You always leave me fully satisfied and beyond."

I smile and press my lips to his, quickly deepening the kiss, but keeping it brief.

"I'll get us cleaned up."

We end up working together to use a couple of towels to clean ourselves off, deciding we can handle the sheets tomorrow morning (along with the strap).

We cuddle up together, Chanhee's head resting on my chest and our arms around each other. I play with his hair and lay in the calm of his steady breathing.

It may be irrational, but I usually stay awake until he's asleep. I like knowing he's safe and sound before I close my eyes.

When I think he's finally out, I take my hand away from his hair and rest it on his body.

I feel myself drifting fast, but I hear one last thing before falling asleep.

Something that I've heard before, but not very often. Something that I only hear on occasion, which makes it all the more satisfying each time.

"I love you."

[dappersheep]

Food Fantasy: An Analysis on what killed a Golden Goose (3/3)

Ladies and gentlemen, we've arrived at our final destination.

Again before we start, we have our obligatory disclaimers. I do not own the game or its characters, nor do I claim to know the true history and likely fate of this game. I am entitled to the thoughts and opinions written within this post. Feel free to agree or disagree with the points being made.

This post also remains untagged from the main foofan tag. Only my followers will see this.

We are in the third and final stretch, and the checkpoint is past the cut.

Community

So... here we are, fellow Master Attendants.

As consumers of this piece of entertainment media, we are free to enjoy it however we wish. Appreciating what is there, creating something new from what exists, playing the game by the meta or however you want to play it (within your means and at your own risk of course). There's no one true and absolute way to experience the game.

However, just as you can enjoy something, doesn't mean you can't also point out flaws or shortcomings of the media in question. As an active veteran player, I've already pointed out the many gameplay design flaws  already. And I'd be pretty dumb to say that Food Fantasy's writing is perfect. Hell, it has a lot of holes from a worldbuilding consistency standpoint. 

And what of things from the community side? Yes, there will be times you'd see content you consider cringe, or something in fanon you don't agree with. Or there happens to be fan theories and fangirling posts you don't like the take of because of X or Y.

And that's fine. If we all happen to play the same way, like the same thing, agree on the same thing and produce the same thing, well, this would be one helluva boring community, wouldn't it?

But what if someone decides the way you're playing the game is wrong and harasses you over it? What happens if someone decides that their interpretation of the game's flavor text and lore is more important than what anyone else thought about it? What happens if someone decides that they're absolutely right, and you and everyone else who disagrees deserves to be bullied out of the fandom?

As much as I want to say we aren't part of the problem why the game is deteriorating, we are unfortunately, part of the reason why the game is as such even if most of the blame is directed towards Funtoy and Elex themselves.

⦁ Whale Authority. Whales will always be part of a gacha game's ecosystem. Without them, the game won't be able to maintain its upkeep costs, moreso  for one that services global regions instead of just one. But when a game decides to cater its decisions of what features should be prioritized and when it should be launched around only its most elite paying players' voices  -even if that influence has since tapered off-, you know there is something wrong with the publisher's management team and priorities.

⦁ Interguild drama. While I did not personally follow any of this, this has certainly been the peak of in-game tension back in the day. Poaching good players from both competitive and smaller guilds, guild mergers that often ended up making the annexed guild/s the equivalent of UK colonized India or Australia, suck-ups chummying up to guild leaders to keep a spot in an active, high ranking guild (for bragging rights!) despite never contributing much to overall damage, and just general dislike of certain players' attitudes. Actions like this have disillusioned many players about their playing experience and the reason why many eventually just lost the motivation to log into FooFan.

⦁ Cheaters. You know very well about the Hacker-teme I've mentioned before, but that was in context of Elex being incompetent with dealing with them. Here, I would like  to point out the players who are desperate to dominate  the playing field for whatever reason to the point that they would resort to cheating the ranks with forceful modifications of the APK. Whether it is to rank high in catacombs weekly, get a top spot in daily disaster damage, or weasel their way into the competitive whale ranks of a major ranking event, these are the people who have no qualms messing with the code to give themselves an easier time with the game. And if they're caught? Some pretend that they've made a mistake, some quickly sell the account to escape the blame, some others just scamper away into the dark and hide in the lower ranks where they can't be found. Others simply don't care and keep cheating until Elex decides to finally ban them... if Elex ever decides their rebates score isn't worth saving the account.

⦁ Ship wars. Ah yes, a staple of drama in any fandom. There doesn't need much explanation to this as we've all had our fair share of running into a battleground in whatever fandom we visit. Someone ships BB52 wholeheartedly? Nope, problematic 'age gaps'. Someone likes Napoleon with Pastel? Someone's bound to misinterpret their bios in order to justify that Napoleon was being abusive. Spaghetti and Borscht? Borscht is minor coded, ship her with Vodka instead. Whiskey and Pizza or Cassata? Cancelled! And I've never heard of the Foe Yay trope or pretend I don't know about it! Rarepairs? Disgusting! No fanon in my canon playground! Turkey and Eggnog? Gasp! How dare you, you pedo-shipper-even-though-you-never-said-you-shipped-them-romantically-but-that-isn't-my-point!

⦁ Character Obsession: Bias. On one hand, you love a character so much. Relate to a character so much. You have thus pulled this character into the folds of your bosom and coo at them like a mother dove and get so minutely triggered if someone so much as makes one disagreeable or joking comment about the character that you fly into an overreactive ballistic rage that would make a Canadian goose honk in fear. You don't care what they are in canon. You don't care about the possibility of mistranslation. What matters is the fanon space you carved out for them to exist in and that's all that matters. The problem with this is when this obsession takes over common sense and social etiquette and it steps into harassment territory. You begin to think: I'm the only one who 'understands' the character. I'm the only one who wishes better for the character, everyone else is out to defame them! Oh wait, you like them too? Do you like them the way *I* like them? No? Maybe if you're my 'friend', I'd let it slide. But to everyone else? No one else has the right to like them as much as I do. No one! Never mind that they're completely fictional- No one hurts my bias because in turn, they're hurting *me*!

⦁ Character Obsession: Anti. On the other hand, you hate a character so much. This character just makes you see so much red. Their smug little smirk just makes your blood boil. Their fictional backstory makes you recoil in disgust. You hate that someone else loves a character you hate so much.  You cannot *believe* that someone could be so daringly stupid to like a problematic character. They must be problematic too then. They must be hiding real life secrets that are problematic! Yes, yes. That's right. That person's a supporter of abuse. That person's into pedophilia. That person is into military lolita fashion that Japan started the trend of but clearly Japan was part of the Axis Powers! And that... that person... that person... is a roleplayer and a yaoi fangirl properly interacting with minors and adults. How dare they...!

⦁ Fan Translations.  Normally it wouldn't be a problem that a group or two or several are translating pieces of the game's lore ahead of the official. But with Elex's very delayed translations and extreme allergic reactions to translating Food Soul bios, people have become dependent on fan-translation groups to get their fix. The problem herein lies... is when the translators get drunk off the power that they are one of a handful in a small community who can magically transcribe the oriental moonrunes into English. The problem starts when the translator starts to have an inclination. The problem starts when the translator loses their professional detachment and start adding in details here and there into the fan translated product that ultimately changes the meaning and direction of the entire story. The problem is also escalated when that translator's embellished product is touted as the truth by their followers. If there was an upcoming character whose backstory is connected to a character they hated (either because of someone or they just don't like the character) and you were hoping to read the fan translation? How would you know that what you get isn't something doctored to the point it's basically fanfiction?

⦁ Social Justice Vigilantism. Sometimes someone does not have a character obsession or need it to be annoying. Sometimes, someone just wants to ring the alarm over something they find 'problematic' in order to police and sanitize the enjoyment of the media for 'everyone'. They no longer really take enjoyment out of a new Food Soul design being leaked, they no longer read the lore just to enjoy what it has to offer. Instead, they nitpick bits and pieces of the design and point it out repeatedly as a reason why the whole thing is bad. They point out bits of the story and inject their interpretations of it without really comprehending what they've read in full and react badly to it. What's worse is that they have no qualms publicly posting their reactions and eagerly and hungrily await those likes and echoes of agreement that they were right.

⦁ Circles of Influence. Everyone has a group they eventually gravitate to in a fandom. It comes with its own pros and cons. Sometimes you join a group because someone you admire is in there, sometimes you join a group because you just want to mingle and see more content. All valid reasons. Arguments can't be avoided in a group, it has to happen... But you have to take care. You have to take care to feel the change in the air of the group. When someone starts pushing people to agree with them. When your most admired people start to feel overly sensitive about certain characters or issues. When you start to feel obligated to spy on other groups outside of this one for 'nonbelievers', 'traitors' and 'heretics' who do not think the way this group does, and that bringing back bits and pieces of gossip as offerings would somehow make you more favored in the eyes of the inner clique or remain inside it. There is a gripping sense of annoyance when that person comes in to complain but you can't do anything about it but nod and agree. There is a pervading sense of fear and apprehension of overstepping an invisible boundary. There is fear that you might be next on the chopping block, after witnessing one of the others being ganged up on and thrown out without a second thought, their name spat upon like they're worth less than dirt. And so reluctant you are to give up what you have with them that when they push you to do something you are reluctant to do, all in the name of 'harmony and justice'... You do it. Even though it would mean offering yourself up to the mob with no salvation, and the stark realization that... [they] never cared about you as a friend.

And we've come to the end of this analysis trilogy. The writing got a little bit strange in this post, but honestly this is the best way I could put it. I'm aware things can and will be more complicated than the bullet points I've written but I'm just one person and I tried very hard to keep details of all the drama that happened in this fandom as vague as possible. Of course, that wouldn't work if you know what I am talking about.

The community is quiet now for the most part, the game is somewhere between limbo and the living plane. Things could be better for us, but I don't really count on it.

I wish I could leave a bit of a moral warning or something. But rather than do that, I just hope this was an entertaining read into one individual's eyes into Food Fantasy and everything that makes it up.

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Sixteen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Language, scenes that are NSFW, angst, slightly annoying people

Tags: @kelbabyblue​ @jennmurawski13​

Notes: I am so sorry for being rubbish in posting this. I started writing it weeks ago and then work took over my life. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope this was worth the wait (somewhat).

Chapter Sixteen

“So, what do you want to do now?” Audrey asked, hands firmly planted on the Diner table in front of her. She had the same careful posture and look on her face as when she had to relay bad news to a family. It certainly wasn’t providing much comfort now. 

She tilted her head to one side and offered a soft smile to try and assuage Sarah’s anxiety but it was no use. This kind of information wasn’t deserving of a casual reaction. She’d pretty much dropped a bomb on her friend and she was expected to deal with the fall out. To Audrey’s credit, though, she appeared to be taking it in her stride which was a bit surprising to say the least. 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Sarah shook her head despondently before her forehead connected with the table. 

Three Days Earlier… 

The convenient thing about being a nurse and working long and tiring hours, Sarah found, was that you almost always had the perfect excuse for getting out of plans. Or not replying to messages you were deliberately avoiding. “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I lost track of time” quickly becomes an acceptable code for “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I didn’t have a clue what to say.” 

No one would ever dare call you out on it. 

It had been almost a week since Sarah had arrived home and the questions from her family had yet to subside. For someone quiet and relatively lacking in a desire for attention, people sure did have a vested interest in her whereabouts. They wanted to know about the exam and when she was likely to hear the outcome. They wanted to know what would happen next and whether she could appeal it if she didn’t like the results. They wanted to know whether she would try again or if she was just happy doing what she was doing now, and please can you call your grandmother because she wants to hear about it, too. 

She was exhausted. 

But dealing with those messages was an absolute dream compared to messages Chris was sending her. She could copy and paste generic responses to all of the above but with Chris? That was going to take some more thought. 

Chris: You’re so pretty. I miss your face so much x 

Chris: …..And so many other things x 

Chris: It’s not the same waking up without you x Chris: Do you remember me waking you up last week………? 

Chris: Did you pick up my sunglasses?? I cant find them anywhere…….. 

Chris: Just found them! Duh! 

Chris: Have you seen the Last Week Tonight? I think you’d love this one……. X 

Chris: I’m thinking of getting a dog x 

Chris: Can you just tell me ur OK so I can stop worrying?

After coming home late one evening following a long shift, she found herself face-to-face with the most beautiful array of flowers she had ever seen. Sunflowers, glorious white roses, gerberas, tulips, peonies… Truly, indescribably beautiful. 

“Someone sure is popular.” Shanna called from where she was sat at the dining table. “They got delivered earlier today. I don’t mean to be a bad feminist but you should probably think about putting out for Greg ‘cos if you don’t, you can let him know that I am definitely up for it.” 

Sarah side-eyed her friend and tried to locate the card in amongst the substantial spray. “I can’t remember the last time someone bought me flowers that wasn’t my Dad.” Shanna barked out a laugh as Sarah pulled the card out, recognising the handwriting instantly. 

I really miss you x

Now she felt bad for her lazy response to him earlier that afternoon. The second-hand embarrassment was creeping up on her after she tried to casually allay his concerns with an “All good!! x” and regretted the double exclamation marks. That was bound to give the game away. 

She regarded the flowers standing proudly on ceremony and waiting for her to smile at them in utter joy so they knew they had done their job. They deserved that at least, but all she could manage was a sigh and a somewhat reluctant smile at their glowing beauty. 

“I mean there’s certainly no denying he likes you a lot.” Shanna crept up behind her and narrowly missed Sarah scrunching up the card in her hands. “You don’t buy flowers like this without making your intentions clear.”��

“Who says he has intentions?” Sarah playfully jostled with Shanna. “This isn’t Downton Abbey.” 

“Oh, come on!” Shanna regaled in disbelief, running her fingers over the large, open sunflowers. “You can’t fool me, Bernette. These are statement flowers if ever I saw them. He wants you baaaad.” 

She walked back into the kitchen and Sarah could hear her locate and clang the only two vases they owned in the apartment. Neither of them had much need for vases and even if they did, one thing that made them good flatmates was their mutual distaste for needless crockery lying around the place. Neither appreciated dusting as a chore; it was much easier this way. 

“Fuck. I’ll have to ask Mom to bring one over.” Shanna said. “We’re gonna need more to cope with that.” 

As expected, Chris was pretty proud of himself. She couldn’t deny him that as he saw the flowers blossom in and around her apartment. He had popped by under the premise of annoying his sister for the evening but flirtatious glances across the lounge gave away his true intentions. 

“You should be flattered, I don’t normally do flowers.” He joked when he sidled up next to her in the kitchen, tossing an apple back and forth between his hands. 

“You don’t “normally” do anything.” 

“Not true. I once sent a girl a peace lily that came in that nice, tall glass vase. That big blue thing.” 

“Wasn’t that just to replace the one you smashed at her mom’s place when you were trying to sneak out?” 

Chris froze on the spot, staring at her. “I actually can’t remember now, was it? Scott ordered it for me.” 

Sarah rolled her eyes before continuing to tidy around him, Chris evidently deciding not to make her job any easier by moving out of her way. It was the equivalent of him lazily lifting his feet off the floor while she tried to vacuum underneath. 

“Seriously, though, did you like them?” 

“They’re lovely, thank you." Sarah moved to the other side of the kitchen as she continued to dry and place back some wine glasses in the cupboard. “You really didn’t need to do that. It was kinda hard to explain them away.” 

“What did you say?” He rubbed at the back of his neck, turning serious for a second. 

“I didn’t really say anything. She just assumed they were from Greg.” She leaned against the counter across the room from him. He could make out the worry in her eyes. “Which makes me feel like I’ve lied to her twice.” 

It was hard to sleep that night. Chris had somehow got her to agree to meeting him the next day so they could talk some more but she refrained from agreeing to meet him at his place after work. She knew how that was likely to end and she couldn’t face being with him in that way right now so he had finally relented and agreed to a simple coffee at lunch instead. He was less than pleased when he left and Shanna spent half an hour complaining through the bathroom door about his “issues” as Sarah was trying to clean up before heading to bed. 

“He’s always been an entitled asshole.” She started before ending with a one-two punch of “He’s not happy unless he’s in control” and “I wish for once he would experience being told ‘no’” She wasn’t wrong but she also didn’t need to hear just how right she was in this moment either. 

*

A couple of things happened in relatively quick succession. 

The coffee was every bit as awkward as she knew it would be, only not exactly for the reasons she had anticipated. It was times like this she relished Chris’s ability to have it all figured out and to be able to express himself clearly and succinctly, but she should have known better. As a result, Sarah was left more anxious and unsure of what it was she was feeling. Guilt she figured, not just for the knowledge that she was lying to her best friend but also for leaving the man sat in front of her looking like he had not slept properly in days. 

He cleared his throat and shifted to sit up straighter in his seat. They were sat in the corner of the diner, as always, and barring a couple of people having a relatively animated conversation a few booths away from them – relatives of patients, she figured – it was pretty quiet for this time of the day. 

“So, time to be honest but there was a reason I sent those flowers.” He had the look of someone who had just been told off by a teacher. “I sort of thought you might have seen something but I guess it went away. I think Matt dealt with it OK.” 

Sarah put her cup down and looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“OK, don’t get mad but there may have been a photograph.” He barely looked up as he spoke. “Of us at the hotel.” 

Her eyes widened at him and she was about to panic out loud until she realised where she was. “A photograph?” 

“Well, technically a photo of me and an ‘unidentified female companion’.” He deadpanned making air quotes like it was nothing before finally making eye contact with her. He frowned but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. He looked down at the table again and then back at her when he realised she hadn’t said anything. “Don’t worry. It’s sorted. I explained things. I just figured someone might have put it on social media or something but I guess I owe him one this time, which he’ll love no doubt.” 

“Oh.” She knew it was a pathetic response. “What do you mean you explained things?” 

“It looks like a fan spotted me and took a picture at the right time. For them, obviously, not for me. Or us. A magazine picked it up. You actually look a little blurry so technically it could be anyone.” 

“Unless you know me. It’ll probably be really obvious then.” 

“Well now you don’t need to worry because it’s gone away. We’ll call it one of our nine lives.” He sipped his coffee again, slowly regaining his confidence now that he knew she wasn’t mad with him. She began rubbing her temple, a predictable move for when she was feeling stressed out and he realised he’d crossed a line. “Sorry.” 

“Maybe I should seek a career in espionage. Clearly I can hide in plain sight.” She finally spoke and he smiled softly at her in a way that would unnerve her under certain circumstances but for obvious reasons wasn’t having that same effect right in this moment. 

“Trust me, OK? I know how these things play out and people forget quickly. I’ve done this hundreds of times.” He was about to sip his coffee again until he was met with a sterner look from across the table. “That was supposed to sound reassuring but I, er, misjudged it.” 

“Does Matt know about me?” 

A few seconds of silence passed between them, Chris looking slightly to his left before making eye contact with her and pursing his lips, giving her the answer. 

He leaned in and spoke as quietly as he could manage. “But he won’t say anything. He’s a good guy and he looks out for me.” \

“Yeh, I know.” She nodded. “Just doesn’t feel great at the moment.” 

“You know I would love it if you talked to me about this.” He lowered his head so much he was now practically touching the table with his chin. “I feel like ever since we got back from New York things have been really weird and normally I would think I was overthinking things but I don’t think I am, am I?” 

She turned her cup a few times before she felt his hand connect with hers. She saw how small she looked in his and when she looked back up at him, she was met with his doe-eyed expression. The expression which all you could do was smile back, which she did, and she was glad she did because he seemed to lose some weight from his shoulders at that point. His fingers lightly rubbed across hers and she enjoyed the warmth spreading across her skin and up her forearms. 

“I’m sorry,” She spoke after a minute. “I didn’t mean to cause you any stress.” 

Surprised by her apology, he leaned back in his chair. “You don’t need to apologise to me, Bernette. I get it. It’s strange.” 

“I guess I just didn’t know where things would go after, y’know, everything. I wasn’t sure what to say.” 

“Well, I know where I want things to go but something tells me we’re not on the same page.” 

More silence. 

“Look, I get it, OK? Nothing about this is straight-forward.” He rubbed a hand over his beard and over the back of his hair. “But we’re doing OK, right? I mean, I don’t think this needs to end any time soon. We don’t need to make any rash decisions just yet.” 

“But how do you see this ending?” 

She missed his hands when he pulled them back and let them rest on the table in front of him. “Umm…” 

“Because truthfully, I figured it would have ended as soon as it started. You might have got bored or maybe you got a job and you left for months and we’d just…forget about it.” She shrugged back at him. 

“Forget?” He tried to mask the disbelief creeping into his tone. “I don’t think either of us could forget about this.” 

“But you think about our lives and how different we are and even if we take the family out of the equation, like, it was always going to be tough, right? We would have to figure these things out eventually. It would be naïve to think we could carry on as we have done without feeling guilty and…” 

“I don’t feel guilty. Do you feel guilty?” 

“Well, yeh. From time to time. It’s not so bad when we’re at yours because it feels like it’s out of sight, out of mind, and-” 

“-then we’ll just have to stay at mine more.” He raised his eyebrow at her in an attempt to bring some playfulness back to their conversation. 

“That’s not what I’m getting at.” She shook her head at him. Now it was her time to pull back as her head connected with the headrest. “This isn’t gonna last forever, is it? We need to be more rational.” 

“Well…” 

“And it’s only going to get harder and feel more…stressful.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes at her. “Why now?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, where is this coming from?” he asked. “We seemed to be OK and I thought we had a good time in New York. Then it’s days of near silence and now I think you’re trying to end this but you don’t have the guts to say it out loud.” 

He had her there. She didn’t feel particularly offended or caught off guard by his assumption and he saw that because, truthfully, he’d finally put a name to her thoughts. He wasn’t giving her a way out as such but he was at least addressing the elephant she had planted between them. 

He looked away from her and took in a sharp breath. “Look, I don’t want to have this conversation here, OK? I think we should have taken up my idea and spoken about this later at mine and in private. Will you please just come and see me later?” 

He didn’t give her the softer, more pleading tone she was normally used to when he was trying to make an appeal to her. She wasn’t expecting it given the circumstances but…it would have been nice. How was she going to get through the next few hours of work if she had this struggle to look forward to? 

“Because if you’re gonna dump me, I’d rather have a whiskey in me than whatever crap this is.” He flicked his cup away from him on the table and smoothed his hand over his beard again, still not making eye contact. “I’m gonna go. Just text me when you’re on the way, yeh?” 

So that was that, then.

*

She could have cried, it felt so good. 

She didn’t intend to let things get as far as they did. She was trying to figure out what to say to him. She spent a good portion of time standing outside his front door building up just enough nerve to knock. When she saw him, in a slightly-too-tight sweater, sweatpants hanging loose on his hips, eyes glossy from the alcohol she suspected he had started drinking as soon as he had arrived home, she couldn’t help herself. 

He looked gorgeous. He looked warm and comforting and soft and hot and…all the things that had become so familiar to her now. And when he held his hand out to pull her in, she willingly went to him. 

One thing that struck her as he was entering her over and over again was how tightly he held on to her. After she had finally managed to catch her breath from the onslaught of kisses and touches all over her body. His hands held hers firmly above her head as they fell onto his bed. God knows how they managed to make it that far. 

He hadn’t let her up for air as soon as his lips connected with hers. He pulled her inside his apartment and pushed her towards his bedroom. She knew the layout of his home like the back of her hand, knowing exactly when they passed his kitchen as he dragged her jacket from her shoulders and left it by the table. She felt the curtains in his hallway brush passed her hair and the breeze from the skylight in his bathroom reach the base of her spine, his hands having pushed up her t-shirt and exposed her skin to the brief chill. His arms wrapped around her and held her like he was scared she was going to fall away from his grasp. She can’t remember connecting with anything else after that point; she was focussed solely on the way he was loving her. \

Clumsily, he used to his leg to kick the bedroom open so she wouldn’t bang into it and he got her flat on the bed with minimal effort. He carefully removed clothes until she felt his hot skin smother hers and she realised she made the right decision in just going with it. There was a sweet hint of whiskey to his breath but she didn’t much care. As he looked into her eyes, resting deep inside her, she didn’t much care for anything. This was the power he held over her.

She could tell he was thinking of something to say. Something he had probably practiced in the few hours since they last saw each other but now was coming up short. She instinctively placed her hand gently over his mouth, an acknowledgement of sorts, and asked him to move again, slower this time as he made sure she could feel all of him moving inside her. 

She was on the edge of her orgasm for a long time. His breathing grew laboured, his hot breath fanning over her face and surrounding her before, without warning, he shifted them both in one fluid move so she was lying on top of him. 

“Ride me,” he whispered, a softness belying his request, and she complied.

She gripped at his upper arms so they would hold her weight as she moved purposefully on top of him. It was bliss. She couldn’t look away from him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, taking in everything she was giving him. They had experienced a few moments like this, moments that felt so tender if it wasn’t for the way his hands were gripping her hips to keep her going. 

After they had both come together, she collapsed down over him, her head resting over the top of his chest, him still inside her. She felt sure she had accidently bumped his chin but couldn’t quite manage the energy to vocalise an apology. He wrapped his arms securely around her to hold her in place when he thought she would try and move away from him. They’d slept like this in New York and he had decided he liked it more than the alternative. 

“If that’s the last time we do this, at least we went out on a high.” he sighed. 

“True.” She replied, equally as breathless.

He turned his head to look down at her, stroking a hand over her hair and the side of her face. “It doesn’t feel fair, though. Life’s gonna be a little bit shitter without you to look forward to.” 

“We’ll still see each other. We’ll find a way to make it work.” She shifted her legs from off his before turning slightly to take the rest of her body away from his and he reluctantly let her go. 

“Do you think we can?” He asked as he stared up at the ceiling. He already knew the answer in his mind but he wanted to hear her try and convince him. 

“We have to.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

She sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across her forehead, letting it rest it in her hair. “She’s my best friend. You guys are my family. We have to at least try.” 

Chris turned to look at her just in time to see a tear form in her eyes. She gently blinked and sniffed it away not realising he had already seen. 

“You’re gonna be a hard act to follow, Bernette.”

*

“So you slept with him again?” Audrey worried. 

Sarah nodded carefully, holding one hand in the other. “I know, I know…but when I saw him I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t pull away from him, it’s like he-” 

“Oh honey, listen, I get it. Completely.” Audrey’s eyes widened and she had to stop herself laughing. “I can imagine he’s been very supportive to you with everything that’s been going on but I think when all is said and done, maybe you both needed this?” 

“I wish it was that simple, Audrey. It’s not just the two of us that needs to consider things. Y’know, Shan actually apologised to me, saying she’d been a bad friend and that she would try to be more supportive from now on and…it hit me. It just knocked me for six that I’ve betrayed her completely and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to go back.” 

“It’s obvious this isn’t just sex. I mean, he drove to see you in New York and fucking…” She waved her hand around at nothing in particular. “…fucking tested you on fucking blood diseases and ECGs. Michael doesn’t even do that and I fucking married that guy! Come on, Sarah. If this was just sex, it wouldn’t be an issue, would it? You’d be able to close the book and move on. End of story. The only reason this is causing you strife is because you have feelings for each other. And very serious ones at that I might add.” 

“Ah well, that’s easy. You don’t go back. You don’t just forget the last few months. What’s done is done now and maybe there’s a better way out of this.”

“How?”

“Oh Sarah, I love you but you really are friggin’ naïve sometimes.” Audrey pointedly rolled her eyes for the tenth time since they sat down. It wasn’t something Sarah was appreciating right now, this feeling that she was continuously missing the damn point. 

If this was Oprah, the audience would be clapping and whooping loudly right now and Audrey would do her finger-snap that she reserved for drunken arguments in bars with ladies that pushed in line for the toilets. Instead, she took a sip from her sparkling water and raised an eyebrow at her, content in her response. Your move, she was saying. 

Sarah rubbed her eyes and painfully pulled at the skin on her eyelids. “I should have told you about this sooner. I’m sorry, Audrey. I’m sorry I’m landing this on your now.” 

“Well, while we’re being honest, I guess I should tell you that I kind of already knew.” 

Sarah looked at her incredulously. Audrey didn’t bat an eye and just sat looking back at her. 

“How long? When did you…?” 

“It’s not every day a movie star wanders into the reception of a crumbling ER department.” She said, matter-of-factly. “Plus, I saw you both outside the diner. Aaand I’m guessing the accident you had recently was because of him as well?” 

Sarah awkwardly bit at her bottom lip. She didn’t need to confirm anything; Audrey knew full well. She was astute as hell and while it didn’t feel like it right in this moment, Sarah was quietly relieved. 

“What do I do, Audrey?” 

She sipped her water again. “If you insist on being serious about this, you can’t let yourself be in a room with him alone. You know that much, hun. The rest is day by day. Maybe he’ll make it easy on you.” 

She nodded in understanding. Audrey took that at face value, giving her a sympathetic smile in return while mentally making a bet with herself about how well things would turn out. 

*

[scripttorture]

How much do you know about torture apologia at a government level? Like people who are actually paid to torture terrorist? I feel like that is a government-approved thing unless I’m mistaken. How can they not see they’re getting no information or just plain wrong information? And these ‘professionals’ are hiding their mental health problems? Or is the FBI torturing terrorists for information not as real as we are lead to believe? I’ve got a story idea about a victim mistakenly accused.

Thisis a pretty broad question. And it also sounds like it’s trying tostart a debate over getting writing advice. I’m going to give itthe benefit of the doubt and take it at face value as a writingquestion.

Ithink the short answer is essentially: read Rejali. He covers this inconsiderable depth, it’s the last third of his book. I’ll do mybest to summarise his points but I can’t produce 300+ pages ofevidence plus sources on a blog like this.

O’Maraalso talks about it a fair bit and Cobain’s entire book is aboutthe links between torture and the British government. Granted Cobaindoesn’t know a thing about torture but the pattern of legalwrangling and political apathy he records is incredibly valuable.

Thereare a couple of points I think are important going forward.

Thefirst is that although information is often the justification givenfor torture it’s rarely the point.

Somethingcan be justified, ignored or tolerated in someparts of a government and stringently punished in other areas.

Inlarge enough organisations leaders can be genuinely unaware what somemembers are doing.

Sogiven those points let’s start with the second question becauseit’s easiest.

Inmodern democracies people are notpaid to torture. That is not their official role. They are hired asguards, soldiers, teachers, care takers, nurses, doctors, police anda handful of other professions.

Thatis they are being paid for.And it’s not what they’re doing.

Whetherwhat they’re actually doing (torture) is condoned by anyone furtherup the chain of command then their immediate superiors is reallydependant on the circumstances. And very difficult to prove.

Governmentapproval of torture in modern states rarelylooks like top officials saying ‘We torture people!’

Here’sthe kind of phrasing it looks like instead:

‘These particular set of abuses are not torture because-’

‘This isn’t really painful’

False equivalence such as ‘Well I diet voluntarily so starving someone can’t be harmful’

Outright denial ‘Our troops could never do that!’

Ouright denial Part 2 ‘Well no one told us that was happening!’

Shifting the blame ‘Those people are lying to get into the country/get money/get attention etc-’

Shifting the blame Part 2 ‘Those people deserve it because they’re mentally ill/an ethnic minority/poor/violent/look like trouble etc-’

‘Obviously we don’t torture people but we should because it would work!’

‘We need strong measures in these desperate times!’

The sort of political/cultural outlook that links efficiency to ‘toughness’ and sees kindness and compromise as weak

Tortureapologia on the government level thrives on plausible deniability andredefining terms until they’re unrecognisable.

Forthe purposes of your story I think you’d probably be better offstepping back from the FBI.

WhatI mean by that is- if you’ve been looking for sources specificto the FBI that’s why you’re so confused. Those sources arepoorly collated, poorly studied and (personal opinion) deliberatelyconfusing.

Awellstudiedwell recorded example of torture as unofficial-government-policywould be the Franco-Algerian war. And this is alsobeset by confusion because a lotof the sources from the French side were written by torturers tojustify their actions after the event.

Onceagain I’d recommend reading Rejali and for greater context on whathe says Alleg’s TheQuestionand Fanon’s appendices to TheWretched of the Earth.

Yestorture continues because of governmental positions. But that doesn’tnecessarily mean outright orders to torture.

Itcan mean a lack of political will to eradicate torture, ie no one islooking for it. It can mean officials being aware of torture andchoosing to ignore it.

Myimpression is that apathyrather than malice at the top levels is the key. In the worst cases,yes there was outright malice from some individuals within a largergovernment. But it’s the apathy of the majority that allowed forabuse.

Governmentapproval doesn’tlook like a high level official ordering troops to torture.

Itlooks like the state Governor seeing that most of the police in theirstate probably use torture and sitting down to do this calculation:‘Am I more electable next year if I try to tackle this or if Iignore it?’

Italso looks like a Commissioner seeing that a person arrested for anemotive crime like terrorism has been complaining of ill-treatmentand doing this calculation: ‘Do I look better in the public eye ifI seem like I’m standing up for a person from a hated minority whois accused of doing something awful?’

WhatI’m driving at here is that- the reality is a lot more nebulousthen what you seem to be thinking of. Tacit acceptance, differentpriorities, cowardice- are all much more likely then the kind ofscenario where the elites explicitly order abuse.

Ithink I should move on to the third question which is just as tricky,before I get bogged down in labouring the point.

Howdo organisations not realise the information they get from torture iswrong?

Theshort answer is that by using torture they destroy the systems thatallow them to double check information. Because they can’t doublecheck anything they don’t realise that they’re working withincorrect information.

Iwilltell you how that happens but let’s have an analogy first to giveyou an idea of how skewed this makes the base information.

Imagineyou’re looking for information on the internet about something youhaven’t seen but you can’t use wikipedia, any popular searchengines or any official sites. You are going entirelyby searching tumblr. And you can only access the first piece ofinformation that comes up with any tag you search.

Picka popular fandom and imagine the kind of screwed up view you’d getof a character if you tried to find information about them like this.I am picturing the Flash fandom and Captain Cold and imagining justhow easy it would be to walk away with the impression that thecharacter was a main character not a bit part.

Nowlet me show you how including torture in an investigation is theequivalent of blocking yourself from everything but a hellsite with abroken search algorithm.

Sothe first thing to appreciate is that torture breakstrustwith the public. If torture is common place then no matter how‘secret’ an organisation tries to keep it the groups who areeffected find out.

Wenotice when people around us go missing. We pay attention when thereare stories of people ‘like us’ being hurt.

Andwe lose trust in authority. We stop reporting crimes. We stopvolunteering information.

Whichcuts an organisation off from the mainsource of accurate information they can get: voluntary reporting bymembers of the public.

Wedon’t report strange things our family or friends have done if wethink it might get them tortured. We don’t mention that we saw atall ginger man leave a back pack on that street near where the bombwent off.

Frompersonal experience- sometimes you stop reporting things even whenyou’re completely outside the context that taught you organisationscan’t be trusted. I’ve been assaulted in the UK and genuinely didnot consider calling the police. Because I learnt young that policeexist to ‘make people disappear’ and the habit is hard to break.

Thesecond point is that torture produces a lotof lies and human beings generally are terrible at telling whensomeone is lying.

Sotorturers don’t have access to the biggest source of accurateinformation but they dohear a lot of lies.

Thethird point is that when torture becomes part of an organisation thenpeople spend lesstimeconducting genuine investigations and fact checking.

Torturerstend to be pretty arrogant and they usually report looking down onpeople in their organisation who don’ttorture. Basically they seeing doing the hard work of a genuineinvestigation as boring and beneath them.

Thisworks togetherwith the first two factors to make it almost impossible to fact checkthings.

Imaginea group of 50 people tasked with investigating a particular incident.Five of them are torturers, so they’re not actually investigatinganything. This takes our number down to 45.

Thenwe remember that the torturers are generating information, even ifit’s false. Which the other members are investigating.

Let’sgo with low estimates. Let’s suggest each torturer has one victim aday (this is unlikely, real numbers are probably much higher) and outof those they get an average of two ‘possible leads’ each day(this would vary a lot, some victims would say nothing, some mightthrow out as many as twenty names in a day). Let’s also pretendthat a potential lead can be investigated by one person (this isinaccurate, I’d generally expect at least 2-3 people for each new‘lead’.).

We’vejust got rid of ten more people on the first day.

Let’spretend that it takes three days to investigate a lead. This is alsoa very low estimate, properly following up a lead can take weeks.

Withour low-estimate fictional organisation we’ve reduced the amount ofpeople doing useful work to 15 in the first three days.

Fifteenpeople trying to do the work of 50, while the torturers keepgenerating lies that are wasting the time of everyone else.

Thiscripples the organisation’s ability to work as all the time andenergy is going into investigating lies.

Andwhilethis is going on the torturers are still torturing. And they’reassumingthat their information is correct.

Sothey’re generating morelies that supportthe previous lies.

Letme give an example of what I mean.

Saya torturer takes in a random person. This first victim knows nothingabout the terrorist group but if they don’t give a name thenthey’re going to keep being tortured.

Sothey tell the torturer Wednesday Adams is definitely the leader ofthe terrorists in this area.

Nowa genuine investigator is wasting time looking for Wednesday Adams.May be they come back in a week and say that no such person exists.

Bythat point the torturer has been asking a lot of people aboutWednesday Adams. And some of them will have sworn they saw WednesdayAdams, that Wednesday Adams was behind that attack and that she haslinks to this other organisation and also that thing I saw on thenews once and- So on.

Itspirals.

Maybe it gets to the point where the torturer finally accepts there’sno ‘Wednesday Adams’ on the census. But by that point they’vestacked a lot of their personal reputation on the existence of thisshadowy leader.

Sorather than admit they’re just wrong, they assume ‘WednesdayAdams’ is a pseudonym and now they’re asking everyone what herreal name is. Now they have six different possible ‘realidentities’ for Wednesday Adams.

Andthis is how organisations can fail to notice that torture doesn’twork.

Becausethe scale of misinformation is just so huge. Because the amount oftime it takes to provethe information is wrong gives the torturers more time to embellishthe lie.

Becausesuperiors who are genuinely unaware torture is going on in theirorganisations might well look at this torturer, who keeps coming upwith new information, and these ten genuine investigators who comeback with nothing but dead ends, and decide that the tortureris the only one ‘getting things done’.

Itdoesn’t matter that they’re wrong. Because it takes months,years, to prove that they areand everyone in these organisations is under huge pressure to haveanswers now.

OKlet’s move on to question four; mental health problems intorturers.

Firstoff, I have yet to meet a mentally ill person who hasn’ttried to hide their mental health problems at some point. The worldis not very accepting of mental health problems whatever the context.The pressure to hide them is immense. In some places people are atreal risk of violence and abuse if their mental health problems arenoticed as mental health problems.

Inthat context- it isn’t surprising that torturers do try to hidetheir symptoms.

Thetoxic sub-culture torturers tend to produce is- It’s incrediblymacho. It tends to rely on ideas about how the torturers are ‘toughand strong’. It equates violence and lack of mercy with strength.

Itviews mental illness as weak.

Andbecause the people within these groups are violent, because they havea tendency to turn on each other, there’s a huge pressure to hidemental health problems. That’s way before you bring the widerorganisation into the picture.

Manyof the organisations torturers are typically part of actively try toscreen out mentally ill people. Being obviously mentally ill can meanlosing the job.

SoI don’tthink it’s particularly unusual that torturers try to hide mentalhealth problems.

Howsuccessfulthey are at hiding them is a different question and it’s difficultto answer.

Becausea lot of people are moved or dismissed on mental health grounds andthis does notmean they were involved in anything abusive.

Tortureis difficult to prove. Most torturers are not charged. Their crimesare not recorded as part of their record. They are not hired astorturers.

Accordingto the WHO around 10% of the global population has a mental health problem.

Howdo you tell the difference between the people who are just mentallyill, the people who developed mental illnesses because of ‘ordinary’job stress and the people who developed mental illnesses because theyabused others?

Withoutaccurate, fair recording of torture accusations itis impossible to tell.

Personally?I think it’s highly likely that a lot of torturers can’t hidetheir mental health problems well. That they reach a point and have abreakdown on the job. Then they lose their job.

Butall of that can happen with no record of abuse.

Weneed more research on torturers. Desperately.

Andanswering these questions about the circumstances around how peoplestop is incredibly important. It can help us spot them, it can helpus spot people who might be targeted for recruitment by torturers. Itcan help us stop torture.

Andright now there are frustratingly few answers.

Whichleaves the final question- Are the FBI torturers?

Honestly-I have no idea. I am not particularly interested in America orAmerican history. I am not American. I do not go out of my way toread things about the FBI and could tell you very little about whatthey do.

WhatI can tell you is that organisations likethe FBI have usually tortured at some point in their history. Thatglobally the United States has developed a reputation for doublestandards.

ButI can not make a definitive statement on a group I know next tonothing about.

Inorganisations likethe FBI iftorture is going on it’s often not in the entire organisation. Itis often particular branches, particular units, particular areasrather than the whole country-wide organisation.

It’seasy to make broad statements like ‘the Chicago police torturedpeople in 70s’. And that’s not untrue.

Butif we’re being specificit would be more accurate to say ‘there was a cell of torturersoperating within the Chicago police force in the 70s and the widergroup failed to stop them.’

Wasthe entire Chicago police force responsible for the abuses? I wouldsay yesbecause it was literally their job to stop these abuses and they didnot. However they were notall torturers. They were not all actively engaged in torture and Ithink it’s extremely likely that many people at the time simplydidn’t realise what was going on.

Incompetence,not necessarily active abuse.

I’vewritten an awful lot. It should be a start at answering some of yourquestions. But all of these questions are complex and difficult.

Idon’t think, in this case, you can take my answer as a substitutefor wider reading.

Onceagain, Rejali.O’Maraas well.

Allegfor the survivor’s perspective on what both describe.

Cobain,to be taken with a pinch of salt and read afterRejali because Cobain is not a scientist and falls for apologia quitea lot.

You’vechosen to tackle a story that’s going to be a lot of work. Try notto be discouraged by that.

Theseare important stories. And they deserve to be told properly.

Ihope that helps. :)

Edited for typos

Edit 2: @dude1818 That is really not funny and I don’t appreciate you trying to turn discussion of a serious crime into a joke. 

I’m aware of the formatting problem and I’ve been trying to fix it for some time. I’m going to try another fix this week but I can’t actually test whether any of my attempts work because I don’t have a mobile phone. 

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[blodreina-noumou]

I had fun with 6x02. It was angsty “why can’t our kids just get along” fun, but still fun!

The Big Things I’d be down to discuss:

1 - We got tiny little crumbs about Alpha/Sanctum itself, the people who live there, and how/why they’ve lived on this moon for the past century or so. The backstory with the very obvious Bellarke stand-in (that had to either be the best or worst little nod ever for shippers), including the sudden and unexpectedly violent death of Sanctum Clarke (I know she has a name I just forgot), shows us that the people of this world have been dealing with the eclipse psychosis for a long time, which definitely explains the kids’ books and general “this is a thing that happens sometimes” attitude of the people we’ve met. The mother, father, and daughter of that group are the Lightbournes (no idea how to spell that yet), who are seemingly worshiped in this world. How did that happen, when Daddy Lightbourne went nuts and murdered his wife and daughter? Jumping to the present, one of the lines between the older hijacker woman and her dying daughter - “the bodies, you have to make sure -” “I’ll take care of it” - definitely makes me think that there’s something about death/corpses on this planet that we don’t know yet. (Which makes me think of poor Shaw, quickly buried in that grave by that random field.) Both women seemed very concerned with recovering the bodies of their husbands, beyond the usual “respecting our dead” worries. And finally, that ending. The little girl, Rose, seemed to be dressed a bit more “royally” for lack of a better word, than the other children. Maybe it was just a design choice to make her stand out - if she’s got a name, she’s gonna be important. She had those “wise young leader” vibes though. The most interesting thing - her asking Clarke if they’re there to “take them home” and Clarke responding “isn’t this your home?” Sanctum believes they’re going to be rescued, I think we can safely guess that this is a big part of what makes them culty. So what are they going to do now that they know a rescue is impossible, because Earth is dead? Why do they still want to go home - to reconnect with a world an indeterminate number of lightyears away, where none of them were born? Why? Is it something about Sanctum that makes them long to return - something more than just the Eclipse Psychosis?

2. My favorite interactions were between Murphy and Clarke. I think something significant happened between them when Murphy finds Clarke holding that knife to her own throat. I think Murphy has a moment of realizing, “oh, maybe Clarke hasn’t let go of her baggage, maybe she carries more guilt and self-loathing than she shows us.” He gentles a lot as he talks her down, tells her that the radio she’s hearing all of those terrible things from isn’t even on. I do think they have a better understanding of each other now, and will probably snipe at each other less. Probably. Maybe. I appreciated Murphy telling Clarke that her taking some responsibility for being “the bad guy” was “a good start.” I do think Clarke needs to make serious strides towards apologizing properly, and she came closer than she had before to doing that in the argument she and Murphy had while they were locked up in the school. She was passive aggressive, but I think part of that is her frustration that anyone would think she doesn’t regret the things she’s done. She’s lost so many people who are important to her, and, given what Delusion!Abby said, Clarke also clearly blames herself for all of it. I think part of why she can’t apologize to anyone is because it’s hard for her to live with herself without justifying the why of those lives lost. She has to remember what she did it for, who she did it for, or she’ll lose it completely and surrender to her darkest, self-destructive impulses. This episode helped me with Clarke a bit, I’ll admit it. I hope this isn’t the only thing we’ll get, but I’m not holding my breath.

3. The different reactions everyone has to the psychosis is worth a hundred metas and at least twenty crack posts. I wanted to make a “tag yourself” meme about what everyone does (Echo “nopes” herself right out; Emori flips and attacks her “it’s complicated” lover; Bellamy becomes an Angry Rage Dad; Jackson and Miller try to protect each other to death; Clarke just hates herself (I don’t even have a good joke for it, it was honestly pretty sad); and Murphy would just be “????”; a bonus would be Octavia, who managed to behave as if she was under the Eclipse Psychosis, but it turns out our girl is just Losing It For Real Now, No But Like For REAL For Real - but I’m not good at the image-making thing, so anyone who sees this is free to steal the idea and adapt it to their own interpretations (just lmk ‘cause I wanna see it)!

4. Was Murphy affected? By the time Emori, Jackson, Miller, and Echo are all down for the count, Murphy becomes the voice of reason for Clarke and Bellamy. He has to protect himself, and them, from themselves and each other, and he does so in a very level-headed way. He isn’t shaking off the delusions like Clarke does when Murphy and Bellamy are fighting. He isn’t raging and ranting like Bellamy is. His craziest moments come from believing that he’s the only sane one left. Yet he shoots at Bellamy and Clarke, and clearly seems paranoid that they’re out to get him at certain moments. So what gives? Which parts were potentially Eclipse Psychosis, and which parts were just Murphy? I’m inclined to believe his needling of Clarke is 100% Him - given how he stomps off from their little fireside chat in 6x01 (that smile was sarcastic af y’all, not him really being like “you win”, he was pissed), I don’t think he’s able to hold himself back from speaking his mind to Clarke about her decisions, once they’re both tied up and stuck in the same room together. So when he shoots at Clarke and Bellamy, do we think he’s trying to protect them from themselves, or does he genuinely want to hurt them? So much to analyze. 

5. Speaking of Octavia, I am both elated and devastated to see that Niylah is pretty much her only friend right now - it makes my Niytavia heart happy, but it’s rough to see Octavia struggling so much, and being so alone in it. It’s clear Niylah is so scared for Octavia, and might be the only one who really sees how much she’s hurting. She’s the only one who recognizes that Octavia is egging everyone on, trying to get them to fight her, probably even kill her. Octavia is lashing out so much right now, and it’s definitely not a good look. I think it’s the only thing that makes sense for her character right now. She lost everything - all of the honor and respect and (yes) power she had, all of the hope she had for finding redemption in Eden, all of her closest friends and supporters (with the exception of Niylah - also, side note, I hope we see Indra and Gaia soon), and her brother. She’s never been good at actually reflecting on her mistakes. Now that she feels she has pretty much nothing to lose, of course she’s going to lash out and act like an angry kid throwing a tantrum, baiting people into punishing her. She wanted to die in that gorge - she believes she deserves it. Now, in her own words, “none of it makes sense”. I don’t know how much darker and angrier she’ll have to go before she finally confronts Blodreina, and all of the reasons she had to become her. She has to accept what she did, and forgive herself, before anyone else will.

6. What will the fallout from the Bellamy/Murphy fight be? Everyone was throwing out some sharp barbs, but Bellamy’s comment about Murphy being a court jester, and how that was “barely” better than useless was a low blow. It’s also a long way from the premiere last year, with Bellamy pinning Murphy and refuses to let him up until Murphy says he isn’t worthless. Will they brush by it as Eclipse Angst, or is this indicative of bigger problems between Murphy and Bellamy down the line this season? Bellamy definitely wakes up looking hella guilty about how close he came to killing both Clarke and Murphy. Does he really feel that way about Murphy, does he see him as an equivalent threat compared to Clarke? Why, and how?? Not to beat a dead horse, but Clarke has been pretty traitorous lately and has been much more dangerous to trust than Murphy has, for Bellamy for sure. Clarke’s own self-destructive thoughts seemed to be the genuine truth, what she believed about herself. Who’s to say we can’t assume Bellamy was being equally genuine about Murphy?

7. What’s going on with Murphy at the end there? Before he went into the water, he was mostly okay. After he comes out and passes out for a while, he’s suddenly near-death, with crazy black shit visibly running through his veins? I’ll admit I’m a little scared for him! I’m sure he’ll probably be fine, but the source is what unsettles me - the biggest difference between the three of them by that ...pond? puddle?... is that Murphy went under and inhaled a lot of water. Is even the water toxic when the eclipse is going on? That’s going to mean that the Sanctum people, who clearly have some safe place to go to during the eclipses, will have a lot of power over the safety of everyone on the planet, even more than we originally suspected. So our traumatized heroes are going to have to adapt and assimilate to this new society, and we really have no idea what that’s going to look like yet. We’ve already gotten some hints that it’s weird and culty though, and culty things have never boded well for our characters. Has it been mentioned how often these eclipses are? I don’t think so. We know they last two days, but not how often they happen. We also don’t know much else about the dangers in the world, and what life is like for other parts of the moon’s surface.

8. The parallels between Clarke and Octavia so far this season are delightful and frustrating. They both have so much in common, and it’s interesting to see the different and similar ways they’re reacting to the terrible things they were forced (and chose, at times) to do as young, inexperienced leaders. They both don’t think they deserve to be alive. They both have tried to hurt or kill themselves because of that. What frustrates me a bit about 6x02 is that it feels like a reversal from the way we saw Octavia at the end of 5x13. Octavia seemed ready to accept responsibility in that gorge “Wonkru is dead. I broke it.” and Clarke seemed more willing to stand by her convictions as a Mama Bear. Now Clarke is slowly starting to accept some accountability, and Octavia is calling out everyone for their “sins”. But I think on some level, they’re both motivated by the same self-destructive self-loathing. Both Clarke and Octavia attempted to sacrifice themselves (Clarke at the end of s4, Octavia at the end of s5) for the sake of their people, and also in an attempt to make up for how fall they’d each fallen from their own moral centers - they both wanted redemption and absolution for the terrible things they’d do to other people for the sake of survival. Both of them were robbed of this opportunity when they survived their attempts at martyrdom, yet their attempts do save the people they love. They’re both pretty much in the same place at the beginning of s6 - on the edges of their groups (although Clarke has been treated far more warmly by ReconKru than Octavia has been on the Eligius ship), feeling alone except for one special girl (Madi and Niylah respectively, although also Bellamy was being pretty nice to Clarke before the Psychosis thing happened), and they both have so much blood on their hands. Both have lashed out to an extent, but both have also directed their anger and guilt inward, and against themselves physically. I don’t know what the intention is behind these parallels yet - both women need a lot of peace and time to heal from what they’ve been through. Will they both actually be allowed that, on this show? I doubt it. That scares me, because as much as I complain about Clarke, I’ve never wanted a tragic ending for her. But if it comes down to a choice, I think y’all know what my bias would be. And right now, Octavia looks more likely to meet that dark end than Clarke.

This is long enough, so that’s it for now! Let me know your own thoughts!!

[nonbinarypastels]

About & FAQ Page

This page was last updated on July 31, 2018

About nonbinarypastels

This blog was created to combat REG (reactionary, exclusionist, gatekeeping) politics in the LGBTQIA+ community as well as other forms of harmful conservative rhetoric that’s become so common on tumblr through the spreading of positivity and information based posts. My goal for this blog is not only to validate and support LGBTQIA+ people (and people of all marginalized identities) but also to encourage people to be more accepting of others, more able to think critically about all issues, and more passionate about making a positive difference not only in their own lives but the lives of those around them.

What I post about

Positivity — Not only nonbinary positivity but positivity for all  LGBTQIA+ identities and other people as well.

Social Justice/Politics

Mental Health/Mental Illness

Critical Thinking Skills

Fandom/Media

Miscellaneous Other Topics

If you’re only here for positivity

Please blacklist the #not positivity and #discourse tw tags.

Things you should know before you follow this blog

This blog is inclusionist. I believe that all aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m also firmly against other exclusionary rhetoric that seeks to exclude any non-cishet (by which I mean non cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual) group from the community.

This blog supports creative freedom and a safe fandom environment. I don’t care what kind of fiction people write/read or what they ship as long as all of their content is tagged properly and kept in appropriate spaces. While I think media criticism and having civil discussions about what we’re writing and reading and why is a good thing, I think the ‘anti’ community on tumblr totally crosses the line with their behavior which goes beyond legitimate media criticism and straight into cyberbullying and harassment.

This blog does not support radical feminism. Radical feminism is a harmful conservative movement that harms and attempts to control the lives of marginalized people. I do not support any form of radfem rhetoric.

This blog does not support trasnmedicalsim or truscum. These are groups that actively harm trans and nonbinary people by pushing reductionist, transphobic rhetoric and policing the identities of trans and nonbinary people.

This blog is queer positive. I will not censor the word queer or exclude queer people from this blog or the community.

Please do not send me messages

About any medical or life-threatening emergencies you might be having. I am not a doctor and cannot give medical advice and there’s also no guarantee I’ll be online when you send your message. If you’re in a life-threatening situation please contact the relevant local authorities (either 911 or your country’s equivalent) or get to a hospital immediately.

Calling out people I reblog from or who are reblogging from me about anything having to do with ships or fanfiction. As stated above, I don’t care what people ship or write/read as long as it’s properly tagged and not posted in inappropriate spaces. Any messages I get about “so-and-so ships ___” will be deleted.

About anything having to do with MAP discourse. I am a CSA survivor and am generally not comfortable discussing or reading about MAPs.

Telling me that a-specs “aren’t actually lgbt” or anything similar. You will automatically be blocked for being an aphobe.

Saying there are only two genders. You will automatically be blocked for being boring.

Asking me questions that have already been answered on this page. I made this FAQ for a reason. Any asks I get containing questions that I’ve already answered (or asking for definitions of terms that are listed in the glossary) will be deleted.

———————————————————————————— General Questions Do you have a question about what a certain term means?

Please check the glossary page to see if I have a definition already listed. If the term you’re looking for is not in the glossary, please feel free to send me an ask about it.

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930687066/glossary-page

Are you feeling down and need to be cheered up?

Please check the self care tag for posts you might find helpful.

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/self+care

Why do you put image descriptions on your posts?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165370079304/can-i-ask-why-you-provide-image-descriptions-i

Who is that in your icon?

Deadpool from Marvel comics

Icon by http://www.wadewicons.tumblr.com/

Do you take requests?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930396816/requests-page

Who are you/what is your main blog?

Considering how nasty I’ve seen discourse about the identities I’m trying to provide positivity for get and the things I’ve seen other blogs similar to this one having to deal with, I’m not comfortable disclosing the link to my main blog. I value my privacy and my safety and I hope my followers can respect that.

What are your pronouns?

Any pronouns other than it/itself are okay. I have no other preferences.

Are you a minor?

No.

Can people who aren’t nonbinary interact with this blog? Can cis people?

Anyone, nonbinary or not, is allowed to follow nonbinarypastels and reblog from us. Not only am I okay with cis people following this blog and reblogging from it, I 100% encourage them to do so. I think it’s important that not only do LGBTQIA+ people support ourselves and those who ID the same as us but that we support people of different identities and just as much I also think it’s vital for cis people to show that they support us. I think cis people reblogging positivity posts for people who aren’t cis is an excellent way to show that.

Can I interact with this blog if my blog is about ___?

I don’t care if your tumblr is 99% cute crayon drawings of pretty flowers or drawings of kinky furry porn, if you like the posts here or need them or want to spread the positivity with your followers I have no problem with you following + reblogging from this blog.

Can I share your posts on other sites?

Feel 100% free to share my posts on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. Credit + a link back is appreciated but it’s not required. However, please do NOT upload my posts to sites such as redbubble, storeenvy, or other sites where you’ll be selling them to others.

Can I use your posts in moodboards/aesthetics posts?

Yes!

Where do you get the pictures for your image posts?

https://www.pexels.com/

http://www.unsplash.com

Why the pineapples?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168615228296/hello-ive-noticed-your-recent-posts-about

——————————————————————————- Call Me Out Would you like to tell me that the term ‘a-spec’ was stolen from autistics and that it’s problematic to use it to refer to ace/aro people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162255685756/hey-idk-if-you-were-aware-of-this-but-you-have-a

Would you like to tell me to stop including the ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161388049611/you-do-realize-that-like-a-lot-of-intersex-people

Would you like to tell me that butch and femme are lesbian-specific words and no one else has the right to use them?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169789232996/nonbinarypastels-since-i-keep-getting-anons-wrt

Would you like to tell me not to use queer as an umbrella term?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165557176711/hey-uh-sorry-if-this-is-too-much-to-ask-but-dont

Why are you intolerant towards conservatives?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169509757921/being-an-intolerant-jerk-about-conservatives-and

—————————————————————————– Questioning Do you have tips for figuring out your gender identity?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160444273391/any-tips-to-give-to-help-someone-to-figure-out

Is it okay to use they/them pronouns if I’m still questioning my gender and might be cis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162316760041/i-feel-comfy-using-theythem-but-i-dont-know-if-im

I want to question my gender but I’m afraid I’m faking it all?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169375568051/hi-i-always-thought-i-was-a-cis-guy-but-ive

———————————————————————————– About Being Trans + Nonbinary Are nonbinary people trans?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160443055731/do-you-consider-nb-to-be-a-part-of-the-trans

Am I still agender if I have feminine interests/hobbies?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159863843416/i-identify-as-agender-but-i-also-like-girl

Can you be lunarian and agender?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159119628926/can-i-be-a-lunarian-agender-or-does-that-like

How do you deal with nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161289280081/tw-transphobia-tw-ableist-slur-tw-r-word-do

What do I do if my friends are nbphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161290197211/one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-radical-feminist-i

What’s the difference between being nonbinary and being a tomboy?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170485614676/im-having-a-mild-identity-crisis-whats-the

Can you be nonbinary and prefer she/her or he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170449570882/hi-im-someone-who-identifies-as-non-binary-ive

Are nonbinary people to blame for trans people not being taken seriously?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161287284091/how-do-you-respond-to-people-who-say-nbs-are-the

How do I deal with people saying nonbinary people are responsible for trans people being made fun of?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/167977849726/hey-i-got-some-really-messed-up-enbyphobic-anon

Is trans day of visibility for nonbinary people too?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159055092686/sorry-if-this-is-stupid-is-trans-day-of

Is there any proof there are more than two genders?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170985650804/sgaprivilege-sonoanthony-hatingongodot

Do you think it’s fetishizing for people to say they’re attracted to nonbinary people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170815582801/whats-your-take-on-the-claim-that-mlnbwlnb-are

Am I still trans/nonbinary if I didn’t always know from a young age?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169845692030/hi-okay-so-im-trans-nonbinary-and-i-noticed-that

Am I still nonbinary if I never want to come out?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169159856571/can-i-still-be-nb-if-i-dont-plan-on-coming-out-to

How do I overcome internalized nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169128988716/do-you-have-any-tips-on-overcoming-internalized

What can I call the nonbinary person I’m dating other than boyfriend/girlfriend?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164729025088/hi-i-dont-know-if-you-guys-answer-questions-but

What’s your opinion on “there are only two genders” jokes?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169533948384/hey-i-was-wondering-if-you-might-be-able-to-give

Who is allowed to ID as nblm/nblw/nblnb? Do I have to have a certain alignment to ID with these terms?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175370970607/hi-im-a-asexual-biromantic-agender-person-and

———————————————————————————- About Presentation + Dysphoria

Do you have any tips for dealing with dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171870400516/urgent-im-a-non-passing-pre-everything-trans

What’s the difference between social dysphoria and body dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171770067231/whats-the-difference-between-social-dysphoria-and

How can I write about trans/nonbinary characters who have dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163261302706/hello-there-nonbinary-questioning-black-anon

How can I bind safely if I can’t afford to buy a binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160277656876/hello-i-came-here-because-i-wanted-to-ask-if-you

Do you have any advice about buying your first binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171412780521/advice-for-somebody-who-is-getting-their-first

How can I look more androgynous?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160850193236/do-you-have-any-advice-for-nonbinary-teens-who

Is it normal to want top surgery but not want to take T?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168600610588/is-it-normal-for-a-nonbinary-person-to-want-top

What can I do if I hate my voice?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169110950161/hey-i-am-non-binary-and-14-years-old-i-was

I want to change my hair but I’m afraid people will hate it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166569911301/hey-i-recently-came-out-as-non-binary-i-really

—————————————————————————— About Sexuality How can you be sex-repulsed without being asexual?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159348049986/how-can-you-be-sex-repulsed-but-not-asexual

Can you be in a queerplatonic relationship if you’re not ace/aro?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171758800972/can-you-have-a-qpr-if-youre-not-acearo

What’s the difference between demisexuality and regular attraction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160198336046/whats-the-differrence-between-demisexual-and-just

Is pansexuality transphobic/biphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160201643591/hi-i-just-want-to-tell-that-i-heard-someone-say

Do bisexuals have straight-passing privilege?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163139939492/hey-there-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-help-me

Can you be asexual and still like masturbation?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171408739131/so-i-was-wondering-could-you-be-asexual-and

Can you be wlw and mlm at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171269548272/hi-im-confused-this-is-a-genuine-question-pls

Can you be nblw, nblm, and nblnb at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171158368762/i-identify-as-a-nblw-nblnb-and-nblm-is-that

How can lesbians use he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170496057755/this-is-an-ignorant-question-so-i-apologize

What is the split attraction model?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169931000321/hello-i-was-reading-that-post-about-asexual-stuff

———————————————————————— About Coming Out

Are you looking for coming out tips and encouragement? Please check my coming out tag!

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/coming+out

Is it okay to come out to my friends before my family?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160086167706/i-am-trans-and-came-out-to-one-of-my-friends-who

How do I explain being nonbinary to my parents when they just don’t get it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

Do you have any advice for coming out as nonbinary?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171342286106/hey-any-advice-on-how-to-come-out-to-my-dad-as

How do I come out to my parents?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170782185301/hi-i-identify-is-non-binary-and-i-know-for-sure

How do I get my parents to use my name/pronouns and accept me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

——————————————————————————

Fandom & Fandom Discourse Related

What is an anti?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171868269706/what-is-an-anti-i-had-always-heard-that-anti

What have antis ever done wrong?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171966569929/shipping-isnt-morality-block-report-program

How can I deal with antis who are harassing me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171974140371/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-i-was-looking-through

Do you support pedophilic ships?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170196527876/wait-you-support-pedophilic-ships-thats-gross

What’s your opinion about MAP discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171209629491/so-what-do-you-think-of-maps-then-the-ones-who

If you’re not a bad person, why do you like bad things in fiction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164750728921/about-your-post-on-how-liking-certain-fiction

What is purity culture?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169710243376/do-you-know-whenhowwhy-purity-culture-started

What is your opinion on RPF?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175123194126/i-wasnt-able-to-find-anything-on-your-blog-about

What is fujoshi discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/174877862940/i-just-saw-someone-reference-fake-fujoshi-blogs

——————————————————————— Misc. How do you handle ignorance?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160627538536/how-do-you-handle-ignorance-im-too-scared-to

What’s an invisible disability?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163099887223/hey-i-have-a-quick-question-whats-an-invisible

What is TERF/radfem rhetoric?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169015697831/on-radfemreg-rhetoric

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171664946546/ed-tw-i-guess-mmmm-since-i-was-young-ive

What’s the difference between being squicked and being triggered?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171341992144/um-so-ive-been-wondering-if-feeling-physically

How do you deal with bigots?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170516017459/exposure-to-identities-really-is-the-best-way-to

Why can’t someone be both anti-SWERF and anti-kink?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170011993907/hey-quick-q-feel-free-to-ignore-but-i-had-a-post

When was gay used as a slur?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166431435436/hello-i-just-saw-your-post-that-i-think-was-from

How do you find out about the free samples you post?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163522947367/hey-this-isnt-about-anything-nonbinary-but-i-was

What is your opinion on self-diagnosis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175045406707/what-are-your-thoughts-on-self-diagnosis-ive-been

[dangereuse-liaison]

Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden ☆Translation☆ Shu Maniac Epilogue

Place: Vivoras' Castle's Hall

Zweig: ............

Member of the Vivora tribe A: Such a letter, you should just tear it up and throw it away, Zweig-sama!

Member of the Vivora tribe B: The Vampire tribe......Just how much do they need to mock us in order to feel satisfied?

Member of the Vivora tribe C: It's no exaggeration to say that the relationship between the Vivoras and the Vampires is already broken by now!

Zweig: --Well, wait.

......It was clearly a case of unauthorized intrusion and I was thinking of dismissing it as an arbitrary action, but......

Since they acknowledged that person as an emissary, it means that what he told us really was the King's opinion.

Member of the Vivora tribe A: ......In other words, it means that......?

Zweig: "The Vampires don't want to fight the Vivoras", that's the opinion of the head of the Vampire family.

......But, on the other hand, on behalf of that person who intruded without permission, he took the decision to start a war.

......This King has quite a lot of guts, hasn't he?

Member of the Vivora tribe B: ......I see, when you think about it that way, that's indeed......

Zweig: Now that you mention it, hasn't that person whom we have captured been begging us to listen to what he had to say every single day, too?

It seems like he wants to be very helpful to the King......I think it's because he's benevolent that his subordinates have a firmly-rooted trust in him.

......I was afraid that the current King would be unstable and unreliable, but I seem to have been mistaken.

--Everybody. The Vivoras will join forces with the Vampires.

Member of the Vivora tribe C: --!

Zweig: Like during Karlheinz's......And our predecessors' reign, let's assert our hegemony on the Demon World.

--Is there any objection?

Member of the Vivora tribe A: ......If Zweig-sama says so.

Member of the Vivora tribe B: ......Yes, we will obey.

Zweig: --It's alright, then.

Yuma: ............

(Fortunately, the guards didn't find out 'bout the knife......)

(They don't seem to wanna hear what I hafta say......They're bent on fightin' the Vampires.)

(We could reach an understandin' if we talked, it was so naive of me to think that.)

Haa......It's no surprise that I've been captured like that......

(If they get into a fight, they'll use me as a shield.)

If that happens, no matter how I look at it, I'll be a bother to them--

(If it comes down to that, wouldn't it be better for me--To die?)

..................

Haha, it's really not like me to think like that......

(......There's no fun in dyin' in vain like that.)

If I can at least retaliate, I might be helpful to them......

..................

Place: Guest Room

Yui: (I can't sleep......)

Haa......

(Getting rid of his heart......Can he really do such a thing......?)

(Even if he's happy, he doesn't laugh happily. Even if something irritating happens, he doesn't get angry......)

(No matter how sad he is, he doesn't cry and simply acts as usual, with his usual expression.)

I......Wouldn't be able to do such a thing.

(For someone who finally developed feelings......To have to get rid of them, it's impossible......)

(Shu-san is indeed curt, but......It doesn't mean that he doesn't think about anything.)

(There are things he likes......And things he dislikes too.)

(We just can't act as if nothing ever happened......)

But, in that case, what should we do--

Shu: ............

Yui: Ah......Shu-san......

Shu: ......It's not something you should worry about.

Yui: Eh--

(Shu-san......Could it be, he noticed that I was listening to them......)

(And because he thinks I may be concerned about this, he said that......)

......I'm sorry. For having done something like eavesdropping......

But......When I heard that the world would be destroyed at this rate, it worried me......

(Even though I freely eavesdropped on them, he tells me such a thing......Shu-san really is a kind person, after all.)

(I knew it, it's really impossible for such a person to throw away his heart......)

Shu: Well......I guess it's normal for you to worry about that.

Yui: ......That......Is that really true?

Shu: ............

Yui: It's unreasonable for you to have to throw everything away to protect the world, Shu-san......

Shu: ......Even so, if I don't do that, the totality of mankind may be destroyed, apart from you and me.

If there's even the slightest possibility of such a thing happening......I have no choice but to prevent against that, by all means.

Yui: ............!

(Shu-san......He's planning to cast aside his emotions.)

(But it means......It means losing his feelings of hate and love too......)

......In other words, you're saying that you can't stay with me anymore......Right......?

Shu: ............

Yui: Shu-san......! Don't avert your eyes, answer me properly......

Shu: ..................

......My old man loved Crista.

Or at least......Much more than my mother and Cordelia.

Yui: Eh......

Shu: But--He forsook her. And that was......For the sake of keeping the World's tranquility and peace.

Yui: Is that......So......

(That decision might certainly have been the right one......)

......However......!

Shu-san, you......Although you obtained a human heart......Can you really do that......?

(Karlheinz-san may not have had any feeling.)

(But--Shu-san is different.)

Killing your inner-self......Can you really do that......?

Shu: ......Even if I can't, I have no choice but to do so......!

There's no way I'm going to let things go according to my father's expectations......!

Yui: Shu-san......

(I......Want Shu-san to live as himself.)

(But in that case......This world may be destroyed......)

(If he wants to protect the world, as Shu-san said, he has no choice but to cast aside his emotions......)

(At present, that's the only solution we have......)

..................

(What should we do......?)

Shu: ............

--Come with me.

Yui: Eh--

Shu: ......Come on.

Yui: Ah......Wait a bit, Shu-san......!

(Shu-san......Where is he going, suddenly?)

(The square......? Why did he bring me--)

Child A: --You'll be the demon, next! (They're playing the japanese equivalent of tag.)

Child B: Eeeh......Wait~!

Child C: Hehe, you won't catch me!

Yui: (Fufu......They're quite energetic......)

Shu: ............

Yui: (Shu-san......He's staring at the children.)

Shu: ......Let's go.

Yui: Eh......Y-Yes......!

(Wah......There're a lot of people......)

Child D: Hey, hey, father. I want that.

Father: Huum? Which one?

Child D: That big one!

Father: Eeeh......? Didn't you want the same thing the other day, too?

Child D: No way~! It's my only wish!

Father: You're saying that again......Are you going to say the same thing next time too?

Child D: I definitely won't~~!

Yui: (Somehow, when I see something like that, it makes me remember my childhood......)

Shu: ..................

Yui: (Shu-san......Since earlier, he's just been looking at the people around us without saying anything......)

(......Could it be, he's trying to show that to me......?)

............

Demon Woman: You were able to make a reservation......For one of those restaurant's full course meals.

Demon Man: Yeah......You've been saying for some time that you wanted to try this restaurant's cooking, right?

Demon Woman: ......Thank you......! I'm really happy......

Demon Man: Fufu, it's nothing. It's just a token of my appreciation.

Demon Woman: From now on, let's stay together forever......

Demon Man: ......Yes.

Yui: ............!

(From now on......Together......Forever......)

............

Shu: ..................

Place: Entrance Hall

Yui: Shu-san............

Shu: --These guys that live in the Demon World have their own life.

Yui: ............

Shu: You remember too, right?......The humans' lives in the Human World.

Yui: Uh......

Shu: ......The truth is, I wanted to avert my gaze so that I wouldn't learn about such things.

Without seeing......Or hearing anything......I wanted to let things be, like that.

That way......It'd be much easier.

Yui: (Shu-san......)

Shu: But--I was mistaken.

......Can you really say that? That it's fine even if we're the only ones alright......

Can you really say that if the two of us survive, you don't care what happens to other people?

Yui: (That's............)

(When he says it like that......I can't say anything......)

Shu: ..................

Kou: --Azusa-kun, you're slow!

Azusa: Wait......A bit......Kou......

Kou: No good, if we take it easy, Ruki-kun will find out that we forgot to go shopping, you know?

Aah......We must go quickly or the shop will close! Come on, Azusa-kun, hurry up!

Azusa: I'm coming......Right away......

Yui: ..................

(It's as Shu-san said earlier......)

(Everyone......Has their own life......)

(I have no doubt that all of them will be shattered.)

(Of course......I've known that all along. But even now, I still can't believe it......)

............

(If the world is destroyed as Shu-san said......)

(If that happens......All of them will die......?)

Shu: ............

If Shu-san can't become God--As Shu-san said, the people living here and their lives as well......All of it may be lost.

I can't deprive them......Of the ordinary, happy times in their lives. I don't want to do that.

I want to prevent that, if possible. I want the world to be kept in this state.

......But, in order to do that, is that really necessary for Shu-san to sacrifice himself?

Is there really......No other choices......?

Shu: ......Right now is not the time to talk about that.

But--Sooner or later, this time will come.

Yui: ..................

Shu: First of all-- The top priority is to settle the matter between Yuma and the Vivoras.

Yui: (To this world......And to us......What will happen from now on?)

(I have no idea......)

[rederiswrites]

Whiskey Shared

Fandom: Mass Effect: Andromeda Rating: Teen Wordcount: 1526 Tags: Ryder/Reyes Vidal, breakups

Note: Major spoilers for Kadara and the Reyes romance.  Also, this is not about who is better, or what the right choice is.  This is just about Trick Ryder’s reaction to what ended up happening to him.  

Trick held the stolen whiskey bottle in his hands, rotating it slowly.  There were still maybe four shots sloshing gently in the bottom, burning with the distant memory of Sol and Earth.  

They'd sat on the roof sharing it, him and Reyes, and for maybe the first time, Heleus had felt a little like home, really home.  They'd talked and dreamed and kissed, kissed like he'd known they would, and he'd been-- comfortable.  Free.  It had felt good.  Like a beginning.

The room Reyes had brought him to had been devoid of personal effects, and maybe that should have been a warning, but he'd had other things on his mind.

“Your place?” he'd asked at the door, eager to know more, to see what kind of things Reyes chose to surround himself with.

“For the moment.”

He knew there'd be no sign of Reyes there if he returned.

It had been--well.  It had been fantastic.  Reyes had been skillful, passionate, considerate, responsive…  It had also been Trick’s first time in not 600 years, but 604.  Maybe 606 since it had really meant something.

In the morning, they'd made love again, lazy and comfortable, and then gone out for breakfast.  Then one last kiss.  Reyes had given him the whiskey, and Trick had said he'd hold it 'til next time.

The memory had warmed him many times since, but now it made a cold knot in the pit of his stomach.

He'd known as soon as Reyes had stepped out of the shadows of the cave in Draullir.  He really wasn't stupid, only distracted and desperately lonely.  Of course the Charlatan wasn't going to just ignore a Pathfinder in his territory.  Of course it'd be someone he’d met.  But Reyes…

He hadn't been conscious of making a choice when his headlamp caught the flash of the scope.  He'd still been reeling, trying desperately to process what was happening, trying to decide how to intervene. He'd just moved on instinct, responding to danger instantly to shove Sloane out of the path of the bullet.  

But he supposed, looking back, that it counted as a decision after all.  He hadn't jumped to save Reyes, only Sloane.  If he'd had time to spell the thought out, his obvious conclusion was that if someone was doing something underhanded here, it was Reyes.  Sloane was a blunt instrument.

What he wouldn't have given for time.  Time to ask questions.  Time to make considered decisions.  Time, please, just a minute here…

But there hadn't been time.  

He'd stopped Reyes--stopped the Charlatan-- and then let him go, and he'd been cold and sick and lost ever since.

The worst of it was that no one knew how much he hurt.  There’d be no comforting words, no sounding board.  Well, SAM knew, and had offered his condolences quite properly.  But it wasn't the same.   Not the same as Vick telling him he was a stupid ass and holding him while he cried, like she had after his last relationship tanked.  Not that going to her would be the same, her sleeping body still on the cot.  It’d just make it worse.  SAM was...a friend?  Of sorts.  But he certainly didn't understand this, and had said as much.  No one here knew what he kept inside.  It'd been nothing but congratulations all round on finally getting an Outpost, on opening up the last of their Golden Worlds. A celebration.  Brave words for Addison to broadcast.  A bright, frozen smile.

And nothing but an email from Reyes.  Three lines.  SAM had traced all of the messages he'd sent without being asked, but they all lead to public kiosks.  He knew he wouldn't see the Charlatan again unless the Charlatan decided to see him.

A knock on the door startled him.  People rarely disturbed him in his room, and he hadn't really invited them in, to be honest.

“Who is it?”

“Vetra.  Can I come in?”

“Door's always open for you,” he chirped, scrambling to stuff the whiskey bottle back in a cabinet.  He hadn't been actually crying, hadn't managed to digest enough for crying, so he should look alright.

Vetra came in hesitantly, looking around the edge of the door.

“What can I do you for?”. He smiled warmly and gestured to a chair.

Vetra glanced at the chair but held her place.  “Well I--actually, I thought maybe you might need someone.  If...that’s okay.  That was a pretty bad scene back there in Draullir.  Not the way I'd want to end a relationship.”

“I--”. Trick froze.

“You can be honest, you know.  I won't break if the Pathfinder turns out not to be an invulnerable god.”

Trick stood still, grasping at the frayed threads of his composure.

“I-- fucked up.  Bad.”

“Yeah?  Because from here, everyone made it out alive and now we have an Outpost.  Anything else is on Reyes.”

“He used me.”  Trick slumped back onto his bed.

“Yup.”

“I knew-- I mean--I knew he was a criminal, and a smuggler, but I thought-- I thought, he’s a good man, underneath.  Just trying to get by.  I mean, you were a criminal too, but...you know?”

“I do,” said Vetra, turning the chair and leaning over the back.  “But I try not to lie to people I care about.  I try to keep them out of my dealings, not deliberately involve them.”

“Did he?  Care about me?  I don’t know.  I thought we had something, maybe, something good.  But maybe it was all just so I’d choose him, in that moment.”

“I think he cared.  For what that’s worth.  I don’t think he could’ve counted on you being there.”

“But then, what if I saved Sloane because of that?  Was that the right choice, or was I just blindsided and hurting?  He’s...I don’t know.  Maybe he would have been better for Kadara, if he’d taken over.  I think he wanted the outpost.  I think--I still think he’s a good man, maybe.”

“Maybe.  Hard to know.  They both did some pretty nasty things to get and hold power.  They both might’ve been making the best choices they could see.  I think they both care about Kadara and the exiles.  But now, neither of them is dead, and things go on, and things change.  It’s not like you married Sloane, either.  She’s got her chance now, to play nice and show what she can do with proper resources and competition.  It’s just a chance.”

“I just...I wish...there was no time to talk about anything.  I had--have--so many questions.  It was over before I had any idea what was going on, and now I’ve got nothing but an email.”

“An email?”

He had it memorized already.  “‘For what it’s worth,’” he intoned, “‘I’ve never known a man like you.  Goodbye, Ryder.’  That’s the whole thing.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Listen, uh...the crew’s got a little dinner coming together.  For you.  I’ll understand if you want to stay in, I’ll go tell them, but…”

“No I’m--I’m fine.  Gotta eat anyway, right?”

Vetra’s mandibles flexed in her equivalent of a smile as she got up.  “Guess so.”

“Hey Vetra?  Thanks.  A lot.”

“Anytime, Trick.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The team was all there already when he got to the cramped dining compartment.  Gil spotted him first.

“Heeey, the man of the hour has arrived!”

A small cheer went up from the rest, and Trick mustered a genuine enough smile.  They were great people, and he was happy for them.  He took the indicated seat, and the bowl someone plunked in front of him, letting himself fade into in the banter and laughter.

A small hand touched his arm, and he turned to see Suvi, eyes big with worry.

“I wanted to say, I heard what happened, and I’m sorry about your boyfriend.  Are you alright?”

Trick blinked.  “He’s not my--wait.”  He looked around the room, where all eyes were suddenly on him.  The levity had been abruptly put on pause.  “Wait, you all knew?  About me and Reyes?”

“You silly fuck,” Gil laughed.  “You were moony!”

“You thought it was a secret?”  Peebee’s eyebrows arched over her black masking.  “Well, you’re not cut out to be a criminal mastermind, anyhow.”

“So I guess it’s over?” said Liam.

“Yeah.  I guess so.  Sent me an email to say goodbye.”

“An email?  Damn, that’s cold.  Could’ve at least recorded something.”  Liam stretched over the table to thump him on the shoulder.  “I’m sorry, man.  It’s rough.  Let me know if you need to talk.”

Trick opened his mouth, and then closed it.  Finally, “Thanks.  Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“I never liked him,” Jaal rumbled.  “He was a criminal.  Not a trustworthy individual.  But he made you smile.  I am sorry also.”

“Twisty bastard,” Drack added.  “Kinda respect that.  He almost won.  Sorry you got hurt though.  I’ll beat him up for you if you want.”

“No that’s...that’s okay.  Thanks.  To everyone.  Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, as he sat on the edge of his bed slipping out of his shoes, his eyes were inevitably drawn back to the whiskey bottle.  It still hurt.  A lot.  But a little of the cold sickness had gone out of it.

[fthbarlingtontx]

VA Mobile Home Loans: Can I Buy a Manufactured Home with a VA Loan?

Why would you want to buy a manufactured home (a.k.a. mobile home; we’ll use the terms interchangeably) rather than one built traditionally? Chances are, affordability will be a big factor.

In 2018, the Manufactured Housing Institute (MHI) reckoned the cost was less than half: an average price per square foot of $49 for a manufactured home, compared with $107 for a site-built one.

Click here for today's VA loan rates.

Time was, you’d have had to make big lifestyle sacrifices to make such savings. But modern manufactured homes can be spacious, comfortable and highly energy efficient. And they are built to rigorous standards that ensure they’re safe and durable. Small wonder the MHI says roughly one in 10 new homes in America are manufactured ones.

VA mobile home loans essential for affordability

There’d probably be even more new mobile homes being built if only buyers would take more care over their financing, according to a 2018 study by the Urban Institute. Most of those buyers opt for a “chattel loan” (a chattel is just a personal possession), which is a personal loan.

But those are typically way more expensive than comparable mortgages. In fact, the study calculates that, on average, one “costs 4.4 percentage points more per year than a standard mortgage loan.” Over the lifetime of a loan, that’s going to add up to a pile of cash.

Of course, if you’re eligible for VA mobile home loans (and you probably are if you’re eligible for VA loans), you stand to get an even better deal than the average mortgage borrower. So don’t be bamboozled by salespeople into taking the park’s own (or recommended) chattel financing. They’re going to be thinking of their fat financing commissions rather than your best interests.

How do I buy a mobile home with a VA loan?

The VA doesn’t lend money. All it does is guarantee loans. So your lender will be a private company that can set any standards it likes. True, it has to observe the VA’s rules as a minimum, but it can build its own on those.

And that means not all VA-approved lenders are willing to lend on manufactured/mobile homes. In fact, many won’t. So you’re going to have to search out one that will help you. Don’t worry, there are some around. Indeed, we list a few, below.

Once you find a lender, get pre-approved for the loan. The lender will verify your income and finances and run a credit check. And it will then give you a letter confirming how much it’s willing, in principle, to lend you. That puts you in a powerful position when you’re buying a place. And it should see off even the most high-pressure park salesperson.

VA loans for manufactured homes: 3 peculiarities

Bear in mind three things:

You’re not going to get a 30-year mortgage on a mobile home. There’s a 25-year maximum for larger units and a 20-year one for smaller ones.

Lenders typically look for slightly better credit scores on these homes. So, if necessary, learn how to raise your credit score and invest some time and effort in doing so. It will pay you back richly.

You’ll likely find it harder to find a lender. Many companies are unwilling to provide VA loans for manufactured houses

Having a loan that lasts less time has pros and cons. Your monthly payments will be higher because you’ll have fewer installments across which to spread the burden. However, you’ll also be borrowing for a shorter period, which means your overall cost of borrowing should be lower. After all, you’ll be paying interest for fewer years.

Chances are, you won’t need great credit to get a loan. The VA doesn’t set a formal floor on your FICO credit score, but many lenders look for a minimum of 620. That’s on a scale of 300-850 and FICO categorizes that as “fair”. You just might find a lender who’ll take you on with a slightly lower score, if you can show you’re a good borrower in other respects. But don’t expect miracles: the default rate on VA loans for manufactured homes has been high in the past and lenders generally have had their fingers burned.

That’s likely part of the reason why many lenders won’t touch these loans. They may well happily provide VA loans but they see offering them on mobile homes as a toxic combination. Don’t despair! Some are still more than happy to serve good borrowers with these products. You just have to be persistent in your search for one. Read on for ideas that might help you get the loan you want.

Check VA loan rates here.

VA manufactured home guidelines: The home

The VA updated its rules for how it categorizes manufactured/mobile homes in March 2019. Here are the latest ones. To be eligible for a VA loan, the mobile home must:

Meet the VA’s standard minimum property requirements (MPRs). These vary from state to state and you can check yours here.

Count as real estate (as opposed to a chattel or vehicle) under state law and local zoning requirements*.

Have a permanent foundation that complies with state law in respect of bearing the required load and withstanding strong winds.

Be built to the manufactured home construction and safety standards defined by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). It should come with a HUD certificate and HUD tags attached to the home.

Have a minimum floor area of 400 square feet if it’s a singlewide unit or 700 square feet if it’s double wide.

Comply with state and local regulations over manufactured homes, especially if the home’s been altered or is missing its HUD tags.

*Don’t worry if the home you want to buy is currently classed as a chattel. It’s usually fairly straightforward to have it redesignated as real property (see below).

If you’re applying for a loan on a home that’s yet to be sited, you’ll have to provide various plans and specifications.

Allowable ways to use a VA loan to buy or refinance a mobile home

You can use a VA purchase or refinance loan to:

Buy a mobile home that will be professionally affixed to a lot you already own.

Purchase a manufactured home and lot at the same time when the home is already affixed to the lot.

Buy a mobile home and lot at the same time if the home is not yet affixed, but will be.

Refinance an existing loan on the mobile home and purchase the lot at the same time.

Use a VA streamline refinance to lower the rate on a mobile home and lot you already own (as long as there’s a VA loan on the home currently).

Lower the mortgage rate, pay off a non-VA loan, or obtain cash from your mobile home’s equity through a cash-out refinance.

Remember what we said about how each private lender sets its own rules. Not every lender will help you in all those situations. So be prepared to hunt around.

Check VA loan rates here.

Manufactured home must be classified as real property

To get to their sites, just about all manufactured homes travel on public roads. So officially they start out as vehicles.

Smart owners undertake a “title elimination” when the home arrives. But many don’t. So the home you want to buy may currently be classed as a vehicle or chattel rather than real property. If the current owners pay annual fees for it to the DMV rather than property taxes, you can be pretty sure it’s still a vehicle.

In most states, it’s not hard for you to reclassify the home yourself so that it becomes real property and is therefore eligible for a mortgage. You have to file some forms with the county records office and pay some modest fees.

However, you may have to jump some hurdles first. You need:

Rights to the land where the home’s situated

To remove any wheels and axles

Often to install utilities

Obviously, these practical steps have often already been taken, even if the home currently counts as a vehicle or chattel.

Check VA home loan rates and see if you qualify.

Mobile home must be on its own lot/property

Many veterans wonder if they can buy a mobile home within a park or community where they rent the land. But VA loans do not allow this. You have to own or be purchasing the lot as well as the mobile home to be eligible for a VA loan.

Other things to consider

Your manufactured home may be way less expensive than a stick-built equivalent, but it’s still likely to be the single biggest purchase you’ve made so far in your life. So you need to think through your purchasing decision properly. In particular, bear in mind two points.

First, manufactured homes don’t typically “appreciate” (grow) in value, though there are rare exceptions. They don’t usually depreciate (lose value) as quickly as a car but the process is similar. One of the reasons for that is they have a shorter life expectancy than a stick-built home. Of course, you may be able to slow depreciation by maintaining your home better than most owners do.

And that brings us to the second point. Investing in maintenance is just one of a number of homeownership expenses you can expect. You’ll likely face property taxes, homeowner’s insurance premiums and perhaps park fees, too. Your lender will look at all those (and your existing debt levels) when it decides whether you can afford the loan you want. So get your head around them before you apply.

What lenders offer VA manufactured home loans?

Unfortunately, lenders that offer VA loans for manufactured homes aren’t that common. However, in our research we found some companies offering the program (list below).

It’s worth noting that a couple of these are wholesale lenders. As the name implies, that means they supply loans to other “retail” companies that deal with the general public. So they don’t deal directly with consumers. You could, however, try asking them for a list of retail lenders and brokers close to you — just as you might ask a manufacturer for a list of stockists.

Mortgage brokers can be very useful when you’re looking for a hard-to-find specialist loan, including VA mobile home loans. Ask around among friends, families and colleagues to find one with a good reputation. Make sure you know upfront who’s going to pay your broker’s fees. It may be the lender but sometimes it’s you.

Some potential lenders

Veterans United – VU says that it “does lend on manufactured homes in certain cases.” And you might want to start by talking to one of its loan officers. Because, if you qualify, you’ll be dealing with an excellent lender with a great reputation for customer service. Indeed, it lent more VA loans in 2018 than any other lender.

Land Home Financial Services – This lender offers loans up to 100% LTV (zero down payment) to buy a manufactured home and 90% to refinance for applicants with credit scores down to 620. The lender appears to be licensed in most U.S. states. However, it is a wholesale lender, meaning you have to find a bank or mortgage company that is signed up with Land Home as a broker. It’s possible that Land Home has a list of lenders in your area.

AFR Wholesale – Another wholesale lender, AFR states that it offers VA manufactured home loans. Since it’s a wholesale lender, you must do your own search for a local mortgage broker or lender which is signed up with AFR. The company does not share its manufactured home guidelines publicly, so ask your local lender if they parter with AFR and the terms of the loan.

OnQ Financial – OnQ Financial also states that they offer VA manufactured housing loans for properties at least 400 square feet, existing or new construction, for applicants with credit scores as low as 620. Purchase and refinance options are available. Fortunately, OnQ is a direct lender, meaning you don’t have to find a mortgage broker to work with them. The company is licensed in nearly every state and has branches nationwide.

CMG Financial – CMG Financial is licensed in most states and is a retail and wholesale lender. Its guidelines states that it can lend on manufactured homes aged 20 years or less, on a permanent foundation, no structural additions, enclosed crawl space, and meeting all other local codes as well as VA property requirements.

Still struggling? Check out these lenders, too. They all say they offer VA loans for manufactured homes:

Cascade

CountryPlace Mortgage

LendingTree

OVM Financial

Hunt around a bit and you’ll likely find others.

Click here to check today's low VA loan rates and request a mortgage pre-approval.

Can I refinance my manufactured home with a VA streamline?

Some lenders will allow you to refinance a manufactured home with a VA streamline loan (IRRRL). The home would need to have a VA loan on it currently. Check with your lender whether they allow this type of loan, and see our VA streamline refinance page to learn about general qualifications.

Is a manufactured home right for you?

Only you, the home buyer, can determine whether a manufactured home works for your situation. For many, it’s a great way to purchase a quality home for a fraction of the price of a standard home.

Click here to start the VA home loan approval process.

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[zillowcondo]

Why Not . . . Purchase Quality Worth the High Price Tag?

Quality over quantity. Such an approach to living simply luxuriously is regularly adhered to here on the blog. Whether in clothing purchases, the relationships we choose to build or the food we put into our bodies, choosing quality over quantity plays a paramount role in the overall contentment of our lives. And so, as savvy marketers understand many of their customers take this approach, some will inch their price tags ever upward even if their item isn’t of the quality it professes; however, it is the test of time that a product proves whether such a price is warranted.

Just this week I found myself realizing there was one particular item in my daily routine that wasn’t performing and hasn’t ever really been performing, but I hadn’t taken the time to investigate if I should indeed invest in a quality product and pay a significantly higher price. What was that product you may be wondering? Shampoo.

For years I have invested in quality conditioners, deep conditioners and a well-trained stylist and colorist, but not in my shampoo. Something my hair was exposed to, assaulted or caressed by each and every day. Needless to say, the extremely dry climate in Bend has made me realize that I had to care for and protect my hair far better than what I had been doing. So finally, this week I began using a quality shampoo. Indeed, it was worth the high price tag.

My recent revelation made me ponder more broadly what else was worth the high price tag in our everyday lives, and below is a list of 20 items I have found to be wholeheartedly worth the extra pennies.

1. Shampoo and Conditioner

As I mentioned, investing in quality shampoo and conditioner to care for your hair is worth the purchase price if it is in your budget. Having used a $8 grocery shampoo for years, my stylist brought to my attention the wax build-up that can occur as well as the false appearance of a silky finish that is actually stripping our hair of its natural oils and dehydrating it. While these cheaper options may contain some of the high-grade ingredients, it is only in little amounts, unlike the professional products. Read more here to understand why investing in haircare products is worth considering.

2. What you feed your body – Food!

Fuel it well and it will perform at its optimal level.

3. Bedroom pillows

Not only should your bedroom beckon you to sleep, it should also enable you to sleep soundly and in deep comfort. Everyone has a preference for the perfect pillow, and these are my favorite down pillows: they are malleable, soft and offer my head a cozy place to land at the end of a long day.

4. Essential Wardrobe Items

We’ve talked about building a capsule wardrobe for years now on TSLL, created with 10-15 investment items for each season (fall & spring). Choosing a cost per wear approach. Learn more here.

5. Shoes

Quality shoes last. Quality shoes protect your feet and look like new for years if properly cared for. From high heels to running shoes, caring for one of the most needed parts of our body for mobilization, exercise and exploration is vital, so cover them thoughtfully.

6. Cutlery

A good knife in the kitchen is not only a finger saver, but a time saver. Not only will the cooking experience become far more enjoyable, but you will slice through your food with precision. Shop my recommendations in TSLL Shop “Kitchen“.

7. Bed linens

Similar to #3, since a third of our lives is spent in bed, purchasing quality linens (minimum 400 Egyptian cotton thread count sheets) is a necessity rather than a luxury. Needing sheets to breathe, feel soft on our skin and last with each wash, spending $50-$100 more will make a noticeable difference in the quality of your sleep. My purchase last year from Matouk was an investment, but one I would make again in a heartbeat (the good news is, however, I don’t have to because they are well-made and will last for years).

8. Lingerie

A well fit bra, fabric such as lace or silk that gently lays upon the body, and style that holds its shape and color, it’s an investment, but one you will notice immediately upon trying on. Don’t delay. So long as your budget allows, treat yourself.

9. Amazon Prime

If you purchase somewhat regularly from Amazon, you will save money and time when you become an Amazon Prime subscriber. The annual cost is $99 (fewer that $9/month) which includes free two-day shipping. Along with the subscription endless music and movies are available as well.

10. A Non-stop Flight

Unless your budget is tight, the purchase of a non-stop flight to your destination will purchase you the time, ease and comfort that is irreplaceable if your time is limited where you’re heading. Having experienced both multiple-stop and non-stop flights, my mind is able to rest easier and my exhaustion is far less when I arrive after choosing the non-stop option.

11. Fragrance

Purchasing a quality fragrance from a reputable boutique, designer store or department store is worth the extra money as often at other discount shops the ingredients are inferior diluting the smell and endurance of the scent.

12. SoniCare toothbrush

Okay, I will admit, I need to jump on this recommendation. My dentist has been on me to purchase a SoniCare and made a very sound argument to pick one up on my next stop to Costco. A more thoroughly, consistent clean. Need we say more?

13. Face Creams

Similar to shampoo and conditioner, quality professional facial creams/serums/etc. are worth the price if you can afford them. With far more high-grade ingredients and far less water (check the ingredients), the results you seek for younger, brighter skin are  going to take some extra cash. Case in point, last year I had a scar below my lip I wanted to heal. After doing some research, I chose to purchase La Mer’s The Concentrate. A one-time purchase, as it was expensive. But I knew if it worked, it would be worth it, and I wouldn’t need it anymore. It worked and far quicker than I had ever imagined. Within just a few weeks, the scar was nearly unrecognizable and in one month’s time it was gone.

While simply having a high price tag doesn’t mean a beauty product is worth it, there are items that are. Do your homework, look at the reviews and how long it has been available for purchase. Time and positive results from a wide array of users is worth considering. Here are a few more beauty items I recommend as well as my top 8 high and low beauty products that I use and love.

14. Quality Cookware – Copper, Le Creuset, AllClad, etc.

Late last year I proposed the idea of cooking with copper for the primary reason of consistency of cooking. Quality cookware changes the entire experience in the kitchen. All of a sudden items, when cooked in dependable pans and skillets, render the results expected by the recipe writers in our favorite cookbooks. Much like cooking with quality food ingredients, the meals just work and the flavor is exactly as you had hoped.

15. A Goose or Duck Down Duvet

All I had to do was sleep under a quality down duvet at a top tier hotel to notice the difference between the inferior duvet I had at home to recognize the difference. The fill was higher (the puff remained even after moving about), the warmth was immediate and I didn’t need extra sheets and blankets. I am currently sleeping under this beauty and loving each night.

16. KitchenAid Mixer

All you will need is one KitchenAid Mixer for your entire life. They truly last that long and most likely the person’s life whom you hand it down to as well. Now the choice between tilt-head and lift-stand mixer. Personally, I prefer the tilt-head which makes it easier to add ingredients, but as I have the lift-stand, it works well too. Choose wisely for your style of cooking. Otherwise you will be quite pleased for a very long time to come indeed.

17. Concert Tickets to Your Favorite Band/Singer

Listening in person to the musician that makes you tap your toes or sway spontaneously is worth the wait in line. The entire experience amplifies the evening as you for a moment are in the same space as the talent you appreciate. While purchasing front row tickets or the VIP section isn’t necessary, just being present is something to go ahead and splurge on.

18. The theater! A Broadway play or its equivalent

Speaking of experiencing something in person. Each time I see a Broadway play or a play in the London theater district in person time stops and I am completely present. To see some of my favorite and most referred actors in person, working their craft are memories I won’t soon forget and cannot compare to watching them on the silver screen.

19. Travel or Anything on Your Bucket List

Perhaps you love to travel, or maybe you have something else on your bucket list. Save up and do it. Even if you have to reserve the tickets or reservations more than a year in advance, do it. Not only will you have the experience to savor, but something to look forward to for quite some time. Study after study has proven that purchasing experiences is far more influential on our overall happiness, so determine what you would love to see or do and start saving.

20. Hydroflask Water Bottle

The Hydroflask water bottle was crafted right here in Bend, Oregon. In fact their head office is not that far from where I call home. And while it began here in Oregon, athletes and outdoors enthusiast and anyone who wants to stay hydrated from around the country continue rave about this product. One of the first items my students said I needed to purchase upon moving here was a Hydroflask. Initially I was skeptical. After all, there are hundreds of water bottles to tote my H2O in. Why was this one so special? Here it is. Hydroflask bottles keep your cold liquids cold and your hot liquids hot for 24 hours and that is not an exaggeration. It’s true. And the bottles are durable (noisy when they fall on the ground as they are made with stainless steel). So, yes, the initially stick price of $40 may seem steep, but if it lasts your entire life or even just 10 years before you lose it, that’s not a bad purchase.

While I am sure I could add to this list, today it all began with shampoo. Do it, purchase a quality shampoo. Your visage and of course your locks will thank you tomorrow. But seriously, smart shopping means knowing first what you can afford and then purchasing the best quality you can find that will do what you purchased it to do/provide and/or last long enough to warrant the high price tag (cost/use per wear).

Now I am curious. What would you add to this list? Feel free to share in the comments section.

Why Not . . . Purchase Quality Worth the High Price Tag? published first on http://ift.tt/2pewpEF

[madeupdemons-blog]

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