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#// ANYWAY HAPPY NEW YEAR HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! this isnt really the new year post i said i'd make though ehehe
fruitsyrups · 6 months
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ive crossed over into an alternate dimension where side profiles are somehow sometimes easier to draw than other angles. bodies in side profile however... nooo thank you...
#ok the back of the head is hard but the facial features proportions kind of feel easier to figure out . maybe.#weird#n e way im happy with the way i draw faces mostly maybe 50 percent of the time but im so not caught up on drawing bodies#like to the point it just looks bizarre#decent proportional face with like at least some understanding of structure/form even if it's not much#and then the stiffest clunkiest body you ever did see#or i can go the other way around and have an ok body. like decently fluid / proportional. but no face#theres some kind of disconnect. cant have both at once#thats only a sometimes thing though anyways. faces are generally easier#tried to do a teeny bit of gesture drawing yesterday but i was feeling sooo lazy and impatient so only 3 of them turned out ok ish#im pretty sure i post more often talking about art than i actually post art#i dont post most of the things i draw#i like to have my little secrets...#secrets in question are just literally anything that isnt adventure time art#actually looking through my art folder is crazy cause like if i saw this 3 years ago (i was really bad at drawing 3 years ago) i would. idk#drop dead or something#but now its like yeah same old same old. lots of problems. need to work on those.#but its nice to step back and be like woagh holy shit. massive improvement#earlier i was trying to dfraw a character and it wasn't coming out right but instead of getting frustrated and discouraged#it was more like i had this feeling of . idk. excitement to get better at drawing?#i dont know if this is just a temporary mood or maybe im turning over a new leaf. new optimistic mindset about art#<- watch that 'new mindset' totally disappear when i have a slightly more prolonged period of art struggle. lol
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m0e-ru · 2 years
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I posted 858 times in 2022
That's 340 more posts than 2021!
757 posts created (88%)
101 posts reblogged (12%)
I tagged 856 of my posts in 2022
#kommento - 577 posts <- was talkative this year. ehehe
#p4 - 220 posts <- BANE OF MY EXISTENCE !!!!
#⛽️🌫 - 146 posts <- NUMBER 1 ALWAYS !!!! ALWAYS ALWAYS
#arttag - 136 posts <- 136 art posts ? no waay .....
#boot.tingting - 116 posts <- i did not do a lot of full art this year but WHO CARES !!! i had fun the whole year thats great for me
#moel gas station attendant - 95 posts <- NO IZNMI IN THE LEADERBOARD THIS YEAR. brain fungus
#persona 4 spoilers - 93 posts <- still tags spoilers in the year of whose lord 2022
#gsa sl au - 90 posts <- WHOO YEAHHHHEAH WHOO YEAH WHAHAOOOAHOOOO HYEAH !!! YEAH !!!
#salaaaaamin - 89 posts <- 89 SELF REBLOGS i am so so silly
#persona 4 - 74 posts <- things i decided should be in the tracked tags. i said look at my posts, boy
NO ADACHI IN THE TOP TEN I FUCKING WINN I FUCKING WIN i. im sorry marie i promised id do more of you.maybe this year—IF I STILL KEEP THIS BLOG GOING?
My Top Posts in 2022:
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hiii girlies and gamers sharing my digital copy of the pq2 art book (Persona Q2 New Cinema Labyrinth Official Visual Materials) <3
I LOVE SHARING clink the link for the full artbook it's very sillay
139 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
#4
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❝ But it turns out there was something behind it too…
And that “something” was… a guy at the gas station!? ❞
3/20 POST TOP 4 BANGER !!!! TO ANOTHER YEAR 🥂🍾 !!! i told this before but i had like four drafts for the 3/20 art this is the one i ended up going with. it got experimental since i was RUNNING OUT OF TIME but i like how it turned out in the end im glad everyone liked it :]
143 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#3
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happy birthday to the bear fanatic ever @/craske here is your
EVERYONE LOVES THE BEAR BESTIE !!! one of my favorite pieces too im so happy it got here. commentary was i actually sketched this out WAAY before and i ended up finishing around. well. birthfay time .... IM GLAD EVERYONE LIKED IT TOO 1!!!
191 notes - Posted March 28, 2022
#2
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happy women's day to the girl i refer to when i say 'girl help' (she leaves me on read)
THIS MARGARET WAS THE BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE I SPENT JUST AN HOUR ON HER HOW DID SHE FUCKING GET. HERE. becomes a misogynist idc about women's day <- gets megidolaon'd to death
258 notes - Posted March 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
264 notes - Posted January 28, 2022
WHOOO YEAH WHOO YEAH WHOOOOOO YAHOOOOO THE FUCKING SHITPOST EVER !!!!! <- SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON IT. OH YEAH I REPOSTED THIS TO MY FUCKING YT someone said mim was in the wrong place. did they see the rest of my channel. the very stageplay clips i chose to exclusively sub. huh . huh. h. anyway i did chug jug last year and cpr x misery x reese's puff this year i wonder what silly music shitpost i'll do next year
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years
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hmm
#the bin#ive felt like i havent posted much art which is the main reason i made an art only blog so i can actually see that ive posted quite a bit#i barely posted anything in 2021. only like 15 drawings but this year i posted way more. i actually went through and counted and theres#around 100 if i could each thing on a page with a bunch of drawings separately which i would consider them separate. not incliding wips#its mostly sketches and doodles but im still happy with that number. ive made far more that i havent posted but im happys i was able#to break out if my shell a but and post my art again. after i stopped using amino i just felt like my art isnt good enough to post here#amino was a much less public thing bc it was limited to that individual amino instead of the entire app. here felt was more intimidating#and idk. on amino i used to see so many other begginer artists aswell bc they had a feed of all the new posts made in that amino#but here i only ever saw more polished stuff made by more skilled artists. im quite happy with my art as it is now tbh#like. i know my art is very simple and stuff but i have gotten a handle on how i want it too look and its much better than my old stuff#im just happy that ive been able to. throughout my entire time using tumblr ive been making tons of art but i jist never posted it despite#wanting to. and it just feels nice now to call myself an artist on here bc its the most fundamental part of my person#i do intend to post most if the rest of my art from previous years aswell as the stuff from this year i didnt post bc i think its cute#anyway. ill stop talking now. its just been about a year since i really started posting my art here and im happy that i actually did it#my art doesnt really get much notes (except for that one reimu doodle for some reason) but it usually gets a few and it makes me happy#idk. its just nice. the only other experience ive had with posting my art here was a different blog and it ended horribly#got harrased a lot for drawing vent art and even just blood in art
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electricsynthesis · 4 months
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keith galraisms post
physical characteristics
-his hair grows like 3 times as fast as a normal persons. it grows unusually thick and weirdly layered and textured. i imagine it having a texture that isnt curly or wavy or straight, but is sort of coarse and pointed. dense hair. this is why he has a weird mullet. he cuts it and then he wakes up a week later and the mullets back. i reblogged a post with this exact hc like 2 days ago but i stg ive had this opinion for years
-somewhere around 19-20~ his canines fall out. literally like humans' teeth do with baby teeth. they get wiggly and then fall out. and then he grows extremely pointed fangs in their spot. when he tells coran this, coran explains that this is common in galra to lose their milk canines and grow adult fangs. lance compares it to wisdom teeth and keith gets annoyed
-on a similar note, the reason keith has a full set of teeth despite being a troglodyte child who beats people up when pissed off is because he just grows his teeth back once theyre knocked out. this didnt happen with his baby teeth but once his adult teeth grew in, he would just. Grow new teeth. this unsettles him deeply everytime he thinks about it because humans are born with both sets of teeth. how is he doing this .
-he can see in the dark
-he has prey animal hearing. his ears perk up when he hears sharp distant sounds
-obviously i think he growls when hes pissed and purrs when hes happy. Who do you take me for. i do think this is one of those things keith assumed was normal until he was older and someone he was fighting made fun of him for "growling like a dog". i think, pretty vitally, he does not sound like a human growling andor purring. i think he sounds like a cat. he also hisses but texas kogane trained him out of that as a kid. as an adult (post galra-heritage arc) he sometimes does it anyway. connecting with his inner child <3
-more generally i think his voice toes the razor's edge of sounding like a normal human's. i think it lowers to registers and heightens to heights that sound only just like a human could make that sound
-his ears have always been pointed enough to be noticeable (texas kogane had him trained to keep his hair relatively long so it would cover them) but they only get pointier the older he gets. they never stick out or anything but one day in their twenties allura sees them and is like hey! youre like a baby altean! and keith doesnt live this observation down for the entire rest of his life
-his stupid purple eyes are canon and go without saying. and the whole "go yellow and slitted when hes pissed" is also canon and goes without saying. im bringing this up because in home again's 'verse, by the time the events of the fic are happening the only people whos actually seen this happen are lance and shiro, because keith got a little upset at some enemy combatants on a mission with them once, and when they told him he was like. what the fuck are you talking about. fuck no. you imagined that. and they swear UP AND FUCKING DOWN that no, keith, your eyes literally turned yellow. they went slitted. we didnt imagine it that really happened--
behaviors
-he bites people. in all contexts. violent. affectionate. sexual. if left unsupervised he will bite hard enough to draw blood so if its a lovebite you have to slap him away. unless youre into that i guess. this is one of those things he didnt notice until adulthood and he sat there like. head in hands. why is me being galra so fucking obvious in hindsight
-whether or not keith's temper and violent tendencies are the result of a childhood of violent bullying and general social neglect or if theres a genetic factor is entirely conjecture and everyone has a different, private opinion on the subject (keith's opinion is that it doesnt really matter), but its generally agreed on that his ability to power through lifethreatening injuries on pure adrenaline is a Galra Thing
-climbs trees like a spider monkey. generally likes being in places that are both high up and enclosed . if left to his own devices will start climbing around on shit. in the castle this is generally fun because theres big empty rooms that are entirely unused. but they all collectively realize this goes beyond castle exploration once they get back to earth and find keith on top of the fridge at 3 am. im talking completely relaxed while shoved as far in the upper corner of the room as he can possibly get
-hoards random shit he finds sentimental and keeps them shoved in various corners of his room. like a dragon. after they get together (sorry for sudden klance bias) lance is constantly accidentally finding his shit scattered around their room shoved into little corners. this is a love language to keith. hes hiding their beloved belongings in safe places. lance finds it EXTREMELY annoying because its early and he needs his moisturizer, keith, if its wrapped in my jacket underneath the bed again im gonna explode
the eternal question
-pidge: have you ever considered talking to a psychologist about you having autism keith: no. the orderly at the orphanage was convinced i was. but i'm obviously just galra. pidge: [exasperated silence]
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angstics · 1 year
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3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind
okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).
at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.
so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.
anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed
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after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.
at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.
we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).
ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.
okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.
so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”
anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol
anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.
hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.
the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.
theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.
outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.
eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.
well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.
it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.
well
what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:
did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?
editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?
then eliot hardens.
i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.
and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:
what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.
then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:
q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.
then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:
if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.
well
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thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.
q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…
and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”
then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao
quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯
editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.
well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.
the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.
alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.
the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.
SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.
the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.
anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:
(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.
truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.
the convo continues 🙄:
does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.
and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.
so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.
the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.
and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.
and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.
well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:
alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would
and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.
thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.
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dootdootwriting · 1 year
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♡ PRIDE with the HSR cast ♡
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featuring: jing yuan; bronya; dan heng; gepard landau; himeko; march 7th; natasha; sampo; seele; serval landau; welt yang tw: none type: fluff, pride month, hcs, a lil bit silly pronouns used: none a/n: cishets dni with this post <3 it's not for you <3 (normally you are welcome on my blog! just not this post) queer ppl PLEASE interact. idc what ur identity is if you're lgbtq+ in some way this post is for you <3 i love you (YES this includes trans straight people and bi people with crushes on characters of the opposite gender. you are loved and included)
ERM sorry this is a day late i got really tired and had to finish it today!! utc for length as usual
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DAN HENG
kind of forgets about it until it's june first and he goes "oh wait. it's the gay month now isnt it"
anyway he's happy he gets to celebrate it with you. otherwise he wouldn't really see the point in doing anything special
probably gets you some kind of gift with your flag on it <3 whether it be a plushie or a banner or just a flag!
if you like going to the parades and celebrations, he'll go with you. he's not a huge fan of all the crowds of people there, but it doesn't bother him too much and he likes seeing you happy, so the net value is positive
buys something for himself if the two of you go shopping this month
he'll see a t-shirt with a little rainbow on the chest and he smiles a bit and buys it to sleep in
you also get him obnoxiously rainbow sweatpants. at first he is incredibly offended, but eventually they grow on him and he starts wearing them around the astral express. march lives for them and was visibly upset that she did not get a pair.
MARCH 7TH
WOW!!! ALL GAY PEOPLES' BIRTHDAY!!! NO WAY!!!
march is the most excited for pride month out of everyone on the astral express. she stays up until midnight on june 1st like it's new year's eve
AGGRESSIVE with all her pride merch. she gets you so much shit too. pride shirt. pride sweatshirt. pride socks. a million pride bracelets.
if the two of you go out together in june, she makes sure you're also dressed to the nines in various flags and rainbow colors
drags you to the pride parades. march convinces the crew of the express to let her make a train float for the parade of whatever planet you're on and she goes TO THE MAX with it.
speaking of the express, when everyone wakes up and enters the main train car, they find march putting up streamers and blasting lady gaga at full volume
tldr she's fucking excited
HIMEKO
ohh pride month! so blowing homophobes up is legal this month?
well, i wish. sorry himeko
she's one for more subtle pride merch. maybe a hair-tie or a bracelet, but she has at least one little flag on her at all times.
also has some pride pajamas. hey, they're comfy.
if you're comfortable, she'll take you to the pride parades. if not, no problem, the two of you can celebrate from home.
also probably gifts you something! she gets matching pins for the two of you so you can be proud... together!!
if any of the other express crew comments on her little pride ornaments, she goes "yeah? and what about it?" like a queen. this is completely ineffective however because the entire crew is queer in some way
WELT YANG
oh, it's june again. alright.
doesn't really see the need to celebrate, but will allow you to adorn him with various pride baubles if you so desire
thinks it's very cute if you get excited about pride... like yeah, yeah you should be proud.
while he doesn't outwardly show much excitement about the occasion, you notice welt gets more affectionate with you
there are more little forehead kisses when he passes you, more reaching for your hand when he walks beside you, and you swear you can feel him hold you just a little bit tighter when you go to sleep
when march proposes the idea of decorating the express, he gives a slight but genuine smile and shoots you a knowing look.
even though he could celebrate himself this month if he chose to, for welt, it's more about celebrating you and the relationship he has with you.
he's more proud of that than anything else.
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BRONYA
exhausted by pride month before it even begins LOL
being the head of the city, she's in charge of sanctioning and scheduling and planning all the official pride parades and celebrations happening around belobog, and, well... wow, are people in belobog really fucking gay
also deigns to go give some speeches at a couple of the rallies. she's a cool supreme guardian
cocolia allowed pride parades during her reign, but she never encouraged them. both to celebrate her own identity and yours and completely spite her mother, bronya encourages the people of belobog to go all out
and they do!
she gets a couple of gifts for you. not anything super huge or out there, but a flag or a shirt or a hair pin to match with one of hers.
bronya also gets premium seats to any pride parade she goes to, and she definitely takes advantage of this. kind of the best dates ever.
and when she's exhausted by the day's events and the two of you lay down to bed, you can hear her quietly wish you happy pride.
GEPARD LANDAU
gets really excited about pride, but doesn't really know what to do with it
and also, as captain of the silvermane guards, he's tasked with making sure all the official belobog pride parades are safe and orderly
this is quite the task given how passionate belobog's gay community is
on days where he doesn't bring you, he comes back covered in fans and stickers and streamers and confetti in the colors of pretty much any queer flag you can think of.
he has you deck out his armor for him. you grab your paint and stickers and washi tape and decorate the hell out of him
he's so happy when you do this. it's a very sweet moment full of fun and laughter and intimacy
no cops at pride! only gepard landau and his exuberant rainbow armor
SERVAL LANDAU
YOU LOOK AT HER AND TELL ME SHE DOESN'T BOOK SO MANY PRIDE PARADE GIGS
lord. it's so sexy. she performs her music on as many pride floats as she can, and every single time, she either takes you with her or looks at you in the crowd and blows you a kiss after her big number
SERVAL CAN I HAVE A KISSIE KISS PLS <3333
also aggressively proud. she paints her cheeks with her flag(s) and roams around yelling happy pride at anyone she sees in the streets wearing rainbows
the two of you go to a café and the guy taking your order is wearing a trans wristband and she gets so excited she starts yelling by accident and ends up giving him a 30% tip and a free concert ticket
you stare at her and shes like what??? it's pride month
girl get a grip.....?
probably takes you to a couple of raves too
you paint so many flags on each other that it looks like your skin is rainbow and stay out until the early hours of the morning
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SEELE
only knows what pride month is because you explain it to her
while there's a normal sized lgbtq+ population in the underground, chances are pride celebrations every year are short and not very big
she learns about it and is so excited
seele wants to go to a pride parade in the overworld with you, but even more than that she wants to set up a parade for the people in the underground so they can really celebrate themselves
it takes a few weeks of planning and execution, but it's successful and it pays off. it's a huge amount of fun for everyone in the underground who wants to participate, and a welcome distration from the lingering effects of the stellaron
part of the planning for this of course involves taking out to attend pride parades up in belobog
the first few minutes of being in the crowd, seele is a little nervous about all the people and the fact she can't move around too easily. but she gets used to it pretty quickly
she has the best reflexes out of everyone in the crowd and manages to catch every single freebie thrown off of the floats. she brings them back to distribute among the kids in the underground.
NATASHA
natasha is reasonably excited for pride month
possibly the most normal out of everyone on jarilo VI
she puts little rainbow flag posters up on the walls of her clinic to make sure that queer kids know they're safe there year round, but they double during june
YOU CANNOT convince me natasha isn't the biggest giver of hrt treatment on jarilo VI you cannot
she wishes all her trans and otherwise queer patients happy pride when they come in, and hands out little rainbow stickers to kids she has to give shots to
her work takes up most of her day, and she regrets this during this month the most because she can't spend time with you
she's able to take the day off for your birthday and other important occasions, but patients need care
to make it up to you, the month of june is full of extra late-night dates once she's gotten home from the clinic and candlelit dinners.
SAMPO
i've said it before and i'll say it again: sampo runs an overpriced pride merch stall
and you look sooooo cute modeling all those pins and buttons and shirts and socks and hats and
has you stand around waving your flags decked out in all things rainbow, to attract customers
a couple of people rightfully accuse him of ripping them off, but sampo just blinks up at them innocently. they'd really accuse him of such a thing? during pride month of all times? have they no shame?
sampo has no shame. those customers were reacting reasonably.
when he's not conducting business, he's even more affectionate than usual, which, frankly, is difficult to do since he's usually glued to your side
"it's pride month!! we should kiss all the time obnoxiously in public to show people what queer love and joy look like"
babe....
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JING YUAN
the general... has almost no time to spare for pride month
which, honestly, is such a disappointment to him. he was so looking forward to june and spending extra time with you
so instead, he has you accompany him to his work and keep him company and chat with him and sit on his lap on occasion and give him kisses when he's tired and
his coworkers are staring.
"do i detect homophobia in the room? during pride month? get back to work." (he's joking)
the lion gets a RAINBOW BOW TIE COLLAR and he is WORKING IT!!
he looks so dapper. he struts around like he's the handsomest man in the world
and he is, second to your jing yuan, of course
to show support for his community, the general flies a rainbow flag from the building
the gay is visible throughout the entire luofu
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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months
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Give me the GOODS
Angst
What would happen if eyeless jack didn't eat for a REAAALL long time, like he put it off and that back fired.
Bc his s/o happened to come around at the wrong time, and got attacked by him (accidentally)
If they live or die, that's up to you. But what do you think?
Aftermath of Eyeless Jack accidentally harming the reader during a frenzy
two things; idk how to title this andddddd i already wrote something like this a few months ago but i think im going to add more to it! beware linked post is very badly written because ! uhuh! anyways errrrm jack being an involuntary vessel for some funky demon shit my beloved hc anyways obvious cw for mentions of. well jack harming the reader on accident; in this post and the one linked above first post of the new year and its angst
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assuming this is right after the events of the linked post, or within the days following that i think he would bar you from entering his cabin not long after he gets his... "meal"
emotions are definitely running high in this one, even if he tries not to show it. i mean you were the one he decided to bite a chunk out of, he doesnt care that he immediately spit it out. he didnt care that he scraped his tongue clean that night. in his eyes (or rather, his empty sockets) what he did was truly unforgiveable and he always feared something like this would happen
all of the reassurances you gave him now meant nothing now
honestly i think this might be grounds for him to break up with you; you did nothing wrong. hes putting all the blame on himself
torn between him having the balls to break up with you to your face or if hes going to pussy out and tell you through the door when you try to ask him to let you in
hell if it comes down to it he might even migrate to a new area if you keep trying to come to him and try to talk things out
heres the thing i talk a lot about how jack hates himself and how he was tricked into this whole botched human sacrifice thing that made him the way he is now. but i dont talk much about just how much he hates himself and how much of a toll that takes on his mental health
i mean think about it, overtime his humanity is literally slipping from him and theres nothing he can do. his 'blood frenzies' as i like to call him are eventually going to get worse and more frequent. not to mention hes going to keep losing more of his human features as time goes on. can you imagine what that does to someone? one day hes going to forget who you are and its going to end in disaster; assuming youre still alive and well when that happens... be it because he simply outlives you thanks to his new pseudo-immortality or worse
im kind of getting off topic but the point is hes going to sit in those thoughts and feelings for a LONG time, really for as long as hes still capable to form a coherent thoughts that isnt about his next meal
like the last post had at least a little bit of hope that maybe you guys will be able to move forward, but the more that i think about it i dont think you guys can bounce back from it. at least jack cant. doesnt matter how much you try to tell him its okay, or how many times you reassure him. if you dont scar its not going to help at all
but if the wound does scar? oh boy thats just going to make him sink deeper into his thoughts, probably making him lean more of cutting himself out of your life
no happy endings for you guys the moment this man slips up around you
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resurrectionist3 · 3 months
Text
June 6th, 1755 - Happy Birthday Nathan Hale!!!
We are gonna pretend like this isn’t several days late.
And this post is about to be super long…
Disclaimer: for the entirety of the post, I’m recalling information that was told to me by the tour guide from the Nathan Hale Homestead. If anything I wrote here is incorrect or not complete information, feel free to KINDLY correct me in a comment or repost, I would appreciate that☺️
-
Back in May (05/18/24), I visited the Nathan Hale Homestead in Coventry, Connecticut with my sister!!
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I always drive by it when I go home from school and I finally got to visit for a tour! They also have a farmers market on grounds in the summertime as well as a couple other events throughout the year. I do hope i get to attend their Halloween ghost stories.
One thing i learned that i guess i didn’t ever realise was that Nathan never actually lived in this house. After his mother passed, Nathan’s father, Deacon Richard Hale and all 9(?) of his children lived together in a very, very small house. It wasnt until after Richard was remarried, that this newer and larger house was built. By this point, i believe Nathan had already moved away to be a teacher in New London.
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Here are photos of their medicine cabinet and their fireplace✨
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Photos of their piano forte in the sitting room and a drawn family tree.
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And this was Deacon Richard Hale’s writing desk. If I remember correctly, he was a deacon in the church and a magistrate. He dealt with small court disputes in their house which I found very silly (and the wax stamp had an H on it idk why that made me die😭)
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And here, in one of the upstairs rooms, they displayed artist renditions of what we think Nathan Hale and his brothers looked like. I think Nathan had 9 (?) biological siblings that survived to adulthood, one of which being his sister Johanna. And then i believe he had 3 step siblings after his father remarried (im trying to recall everything the tour guide said).
Johanna isnt depictied in these drawings, its only the brothers, but her room was on display for the tour and it had a lot of windows. The tour guide said it was because she apparently loved to read, so they made sure her room had the most windows for the most light??😭😭🥹🥹
Anyways, all of Nathan’s brothers went to war except for the youngest one. Also, if you look at the years of their deaths, Samuel Hale (the oldest sibling) actually outlived them all?? Which makes me want to scream???? Samuel also didn’t inherit the family farm, it actually went to his brother John.
Joseph Hale- (damn he can get it lowkey..🥵) while in the war was captured by the British and was on a prison ship until he was exchanged and honestly I’ve been thinking about it too much. So glad he didn’t die of dysentery or something. But he did pass of consumption at only 34 which I can’t even handle.
Enoch, went to Yale along with Nathan and they were in the same graduating class which i think is so cutesy. The tour guide also said that one of the pewter steins in one of the sitting rooms (i don’t actually have a photo unfortunately) belonged to Enoch and I wanted to scream, like was it ACTUALLY his???
They had a display of several items they found on the property like coins, buttons, ect. but I didn’t take a photo of that either. It was in the same room as these images of the brothers.
I think we all know Nathan, and quite honestly i didn’t even realise he had so many siblings until this tour. I suppose one could assume given the time period - everyone had like 5+ children. But of all the times i was taught about Nathan Hale (and that was kind of a lot, being a Connecticut resident for my entire life) no one ever mentioned his family or his siblings. There was a portrait of Deacon Richard Hale in the downstairs area- I didn’t realise this in the moment, my sister mentioned it later, but (based on the artist’s rendition) Nathan looked just like his father. I found it really funny when i realised it.
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This was Nathan’s hunting rifle as well, another thing that apparently belonged to one of the members of the Hale family that made me want to scream (more on that in my final thoughts).
And last photo (the Turn: Washington’s Spies baddies are gonna LOVE this one)
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This is a list of the Yale University (back then, it was just Yale College) honours graduating class of 1773. On it, is Nathan and Enoch Hale of course. But also, Nathan’s friend and “roommate” 👀 (and our favourite spymaster) Benjamin Tallmadge!!!!! I had to keep my mouth shut when the tour guide mentioned that he was on this list, but I was screaming internally and my sister and i made goofy ahh eye contact.
Their names are towards the top, Enoch and Nathan are listed in the third small column while Benjamin is in the sixth one all the way to the right.
Things that i saw/were talked about that i didn’t take a photo of was a shadow drawing of Nathan’s side profile. At some point, Nathan stood in front of a door in the house while someone traced the outline of his shadow onto it. I don’t quite know why that was done..? Perhaps it was for a genuine reason or maybe the Hale siblings were just messing around. But it’s a pretty big deal considering there are actually no true portraits of Nathan or his siblings. Just statues and drawings that are artist renditions based on historical accounts. There was a historian who wrote about Nathan Hale and came in contact with a member of the Hale family (Rebecca Hale, I believe). She told him about the shadow drawing and it was a long and interesting story that I unfortunately don’t remember all the parts to. A piece about the portrait is typed on a paper in the photo of Nathan’s rifle, if you can zoom in, you can read a little more on it.
Their gift shop was also small and cutesy and I spent a lot of money there on books. On display there, they had an old piece of wood from the original house. I got a published copy of Reverend John Hale’s, A Modest Inquiry into the Nature of Witchcraft.
If anyone wasn’t aware, Reverend John Hale (Nathan Hale’s great grandfather) was called to Salem, Massachusetts from Beverly to assist in the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. He was partially responsible for the persecution of several innocent people however, nearing the end of the trials, he began to disagree with the accusations. He published this firsthand account to condemn the actions of those involved with the trials and I’ve always thought it was so interesting. I’ve wanted to read this since I read The Crucible back in high school and i was very excited to see it at the gift shop.
You can also visit the Hale Farm in Beverly, MA where Rev. John Hale used to live and I want to someday. I’ve only ever been outside of it, I’ve never properly visited for a tour. (Cutesy fact as well: Rev. John’s Hale’s birthday is June 3rd, which is only 3 days before Nathan’s).
Final Thoughts:
The Hale Family was absolutely MASSIVE. Our tour guide mentioned being a descendant of the Hale Family and im sure a number of “born and raised” New England residents are as well somewhere in their ancestry. Based on the drawn family tree, most of the members had probably 4 kids minimum and then those kids all had a ton of kids. It’s also very funny to me how there are probably several Hale’s who are decently significant figures in history and it’s just wild that it’s all one family. I know it’s the same for royal families and such but it feels different somehow.
According to our tour guide, one theory about how Nathan Hale was captured was by Robert Rogers. That Rogers invited him to dinner and convinced Nathan that he was also part of the Continental Army. Nathan then confided his mission in Rogers and was lured into a false sense of security that lead to him being captured. Which is another one for the Turn baddies that almost made me die when I heard it. Especially since I don’t believe I’ve heard that theory before.
Something I did really enjoy about this tour was how it didn’t completely focus on Nathan. Of course that would have been fine and equally as interesting, but it was mainly a lesson on his family and some of his descendants. After being taught about Nathan Hale so many times, I had no idea about his entire family and his siblings.
It also never TRULY occurred to me that there aren’t any real portraits of Nathan Hale. They’ve all been artist renditions as paintings or statues based on historical descriptions of him and something about that is extremely wild to me. It makes me somewhat grateful for our easy access to camera and video in our modern world. There are so many faces and stories that have been completely lost to time - even some very significant historical figures have little to no surviving images. Like, we know who they are and that they were here at some point - we have their belongings and things that they used. Thats why seeing Nathan’s rifle in the bedroom or Enoch’s stein in the sitting room cause me to have such visceral reactions. This was theirs once. This was used by someone probably everyday. And now its almost like a ghost or memory of them. The land around the property is heavily wooded as well, lots of trees and stones. My sister and I took a short walk around the property before leaving and it really made me think: how many of these stones did they touch? How many of these large trees did they lean on? It drives me so insane honestly.
One last thing that hadn’t occurred to me before this trip was how the Hale family learned of Nathan’s hanging. According to the tour guide, Enoch and a couple his brothers had heard of a Hale being found guilty of espionage and being hanged. And after looking into it more, Enoch did confirm that it was Nathan and sent word to the rest of the family. It’s said that before being hanged, Nathan only asked for a few things: A priest (which he did not get), parchment, quill and ink for writing. He wrote a letter to his commanding officer and one to his family. According to the guide, i believe neither one was sent. Perhaps the one to the officer was sent, however he never received it because he was killed in battle before he had the chance. And allegedly, the one written to the Hale family was seized by the British and was likely used as a written confession rather than being sent home to Nathan’s family. I honestly can’t imagine how upsetting that must’ve been for all of them. Especially with each of the Hale brothers being in the war and likely all in different places, there wasn’t really any other way for them to find out that their own brother was hanged aside from the way everyone else learned of it - through the newspaper or by word of mouth. No other Hale brother died in the war either, they all survived and had relatively high rankings by the time the war was over.
~~~
So that was my trip, it was fun and informative and I would really love to visit again sometime. I highly recommend anyone who is a fan of history, or Turn: Washington’s Spies to visit if you can! They are only open seasonally though, and only on weekends. They do a tour every hour, so plan accordingly if you want to visit!
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leafcabbage · 3 months
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Purely hypothetical,
How much do I have to pay so you ramble about the band Ghost . please
I really wanna get into their music n shit, and feel like there's a lot of story telling in their music that I miss because I Am Shit At Understanding Lyrics And Their Meanings By Myself.
So, how much? (/hj)
you dont have to pay anything! im not deep into the fandom so i would be the first to admit that i am not deeply versed on the lore or anything, but i have been to two rituals (aka concerts) and seen the movie, so i know a bit!
so ghost is a swedish rock/metal/everyone describes it differently band that does everything in full costume and with the story that they are spreading the word of the devil through their music. it's the creation of tobias forge, who is also the front man, currently playing the character of Copia/Papa Emeritus IV. he's the guy in all the posts youre seeing me reblog who ISNT wearing a black mask and all black clothes. his face is a mask though. like a really high quality one thats been painted and stuff. thats why you dont really see his mouth move.
anyway, the way ghost works is that since the formation of the band, different Papas (1-4) were the lead singers of the band, all played by tobias forge. as an era came to the close, the papa would be retired, or beheaded in the 3rd papa (terzo's) case, and the next would take his place to continue to spread the word. the current papa, Copia, has been with us for longer than the others, and Prequelle and Impera are the albums that came out under his time. if you really want to get into the lore, theres also a like... webseries mostly focused on Copia.
then theres the ghouls. those are the guys in the masks. they arent band members as much i suppose, as they're like... contracted performers for tours and certain music videos. so they come and go to an extent, though most ghouls are played by the same people for several years at a time, and a new person = a new ghoul as far as the fandom is concerned. same instrument but new name. i wont get too into all the people behind the masks rn, but they ARE listed on wikipedia now and most are independent musicians with their own music out! the ghouls are all assigned elements based on their instruments (air for keyboard, water for bass, fire for lead guitar, earth for drums, quintessence for rhythm guitar, and multi for the ghouls who do vocals/tambourine/guitar/etc). then they end up with names based on those elements (like keyboard is air, so the keyboard players are cirrus and cumulus).
man i think that's the super basics. but really, at the end of the day, you can just listen to the music. you dont NEED to know all the background to enjoy the music. i didnt know any getting into it and then went on to learn what i know. the ghost wiki is pretty in depth so you can get info there, too, and im happy to do my best to answer any specific questions too! just let me know, my ask box is always open :]
(if youre looking for a music starting place, impera is a good first album)
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jennilah · 6 months
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I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.
I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.
I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes
omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao
actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)
ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.
There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".
so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.
yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:
-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw
I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.
my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.
sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)
which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.
and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)
this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck
(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)
and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway
anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!
tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰
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just-bendy · 2 years
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Changes to the blog
Since it is a new year, I will take this opportunity to make some changes to the blog! It will be small changes but it will affect the blog in some way. I have a lot I want to do for this blog but I have really low motivation and energy to do anything too exciting. I would like to introduce Sammy, new characters, maybe some other clones, just something related to the AU. I still have to work on these though... I'll try, but don't get your hopes up. 😅 I have added two new rules as well, number 3 and 8, so be sure to check them out!
Anyway, happy new year! Hope this year is good to you! 🎉🎉💜
Here's the list of changes I will be doing! This will include some retcons:
Less of the ink demon form- Bendy was not supposed to be transforming into his ink demon form so much from the start so I will put a hold on the inky boi. realistically he wouldn't enjoy turning into that guy at all so i'll be implementing that. he won't be turning into his ink beast form at all
More survivors from the studio- Bendy, Boris, Alice, Barry, Henry, and Sammy won't be the only survivors that escaped from the studio anymore. i wanna make more clones- more Alice clones and Boris clones that escaped and also the employees that turned into ink people. the Butcher Gang all got messed up so maybe i'll have to design some "reformed" ones? or a set of lucky ones, idk. as for the Bendy clones, I'm not sure. I would like to make some that came back to life but i have trouble fitting them in. i do have room for One though
(dumb) Santa is real- i said before that santa isnt real in this universe but i'm changing it. santa claus is real and he is a toon. i forgot that was a possibility. not sure if it matters tho
Less fourth wall breaking- i know its a toon thing to break the fourth wall but id like for his reactions to things to be more genuine. for example if someone asked him about Audrey from BATDR, he would realistically not know who she is, but if he broke the fourth wall then he would know about her without ever meeting her. it just feels weird to me. so no more fourth wall breaks, at least nothing past the whole ask blog concept
No more kissing- no more kissing the lil demon
Ask box closed on Sundays- the ask box will be closed on sundays so i can rest. i also wont be working on any asks on sundays nor will anything be posted
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ficklefood · 1 year
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ok more thoughts for my married jasico fic(?) idea (that i talked about in my last post)
they are in their mid-late 20s by this point, nico has now taken on a director-type kind of role in camp half-blood and is way more hands-on than either chiron or mr d. the demigods absolutely love nico and look up to him, and nico kind of has this thing going on where he *pretends* to be stern and mature as an authority figure, but the kids thinks he's too cool in like, an edgy epic way, to ever be actually scared of him. (which, of course, boggles him every time and makes his heart twist because these kids like him and arent scared, even though he's been in a staff role on camp for like 7 years and counting now)
nico is pretty much a kindergarten-middle school-high school teacher (because chb's got kids of all ages), pretty much a physical education-arts and crafts-home economics-all around teacher, slash guidance counselor, slash wilderness and survival coach, slash friendship/love advice-giver/mediator -- he does a lot on camp for the kids. and a lot of his time is dedicated to the younger ones, who of course need more guidance and supervision. nico's pretty much settled into the role of everyone's secondary parent (and for some sad cases, he has to play as a primary parent figure). it's demanding work but he wouldnt have it any other way. he's making sure that camp is *home* for the young demigods in a way he wished he had it from the very beginning.
i also like the idea of nico having taken a few psychology and education courses, to help him be a better support figure for demigods who are going through some traumatic stuff. gods know he's been through a lifetime's worth of trauma a kid shouldn't have gone through. he didnt finish an entire degree though, he decided that academics isnt really his thing
jason, on the other hand, went to college to study history and got really into it. now he's pursuing a career as a historian and is starting his phd! everyone, including himself, thought he would be into roman military history, but as he started his historical studies and was exposed to all kinds of different stuff, he eventually settled on a real interest in social history, especially queer history, in the ancient world. he finished his undergrad at new rome but started his postgrad someplace nearer long island/camp half blood, so nico can go to work in camp, and because jason got a good offer at whatever university anyway
they have a house near camp and jason drives nico to and from work since they have 1 car. picking nico up and driving home together after a long day always puts a smile on jason's face, no matter how tiring or frustrating his research was that day. he would always find time to help nico out on camp, and often gives special history classes to the kids (alongside the usual combat training and strategy classes he's always been good at too). nico and jason go jogging along camp halfblood's beach every sunday. the campers know jason and love him as they love nico! he's more open about spoiling them, especially the littler ones, than nico, who also cant help his soft spot for them, but at still tries to be stern (and fails)
by this point theyre more than ready to start their own little family. theyre so so ready to have their own kids! nico cherishes the happy moments with his family from his childhood, before everything got complicated.... jason wants to find that happy family life, that he never really got to have as a kid, with nico.... so they talk about it from time to time until they decide to actually *do* something about it and start looking up their options like adoption or surrogates and then boom, one day a baby shows up on their doorstep, with soft, blond hair like jason and warm, dark eyes like nico, swaddled up in a basket and sleeping soundly, and oh...the baby is a gift from...juno? who's pleased that they're such a wonderful married couple and deigned to go ahead and grant them this beautiful child?
anyway ok much to think about much to flesh out, but god i really want this to be A Fic that i can yknow Read and stuff and just have in my hands. yknow. ugh
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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That post str Harutaka angst hurts my heart a little but I do want it
HEH. CONFLICT IS SO FUN OKAY. haruka and takane get along too well i need a little something to have fun with.... also thank u for sending this im totally using it as an excuse to talk about it. i went crazy in this ask sorry
ok. i KNOW forward by winterhats exists...... and thank god it does 🙏in case u havent read it erm read it. thats like harutaka content 101... not to spoil stuff but something about haruka not telling takane abt his condition Does take place in that fic. but the thing with that fic is haruka has no memories.... (post str no memory haruka is a concept i was never a fan of bc it doesnt rly make sense to me?? Still love forward though🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏) SO IM THINKING OF a canon situation with haruka remembering fine yknow...
logically i think takane would be sad rather than angry once finding out. also she'd hear it from shintaro who is the only one who knew, aside from kenjirou but he's x_x post str💔 so shintaro it is. also it's such a shintaro thing to do isnt it?? accidentally mention it to takane or assume she knew and realise he messed up like, way too late. like he already said it like 5 times before he realised takane is asking him to repeat it so many times precisely because SHE DIDN'T KNOW
like i said i think its kinda a fragile thing because God its so sad. how could u even get mad at someone for choosing not to say they're dying. so yeah logically takane Would be mostly sad about both the sad reality haruka was living AND how she wasn't told, because to her it means haruka didnt trust her or maybe felt he couldnt count on her.
im abt to overanalyse: personally from a writing point of view i think the reason haruka doesnt tell takane is because headphone actor was already written and the narrative where takane doesnt know was already there. haruka's 1 year to live thing was written a lot after, with over the dimension. but besides that: from a character standpoint, of course haruka wouldn't tell takane. she is the last person he wants to worry and the one he wants the most happy memories with. and something important about haruka and takane's relationship is the fact neither knows much about each others conditions. in both their povs upon introducing each other to the audience, they both explain their illnesses briefly. they both say "i havent asked much". to me its always been about haruka and takane deeply relating to each other about people feeling sorry for them. so they dont owe each other the explanations theyre so used to giving to others! so to me, haruka doesnt tell takane because 1.he doesnt want her to worry more than she already does 2.he wants to have happy memories of her 3. related to that, doesnt want her to look at him differently. she is the one person who gets it. if he were to come clean abt it, he'd lose it. besides, haruka tells shintaro by the time he's like. LOSING HIS MIND and really deeply depressed abt the situation. kenjirou also knows... but haruka's father could've told him since its mentioned they used to be colleagues. personally i think haruka told him himself, since he also mentions kenjirou is the only adult he's ok sharing stuff with, so in a way its implied if ur delusional like me.
erm. anyways. i got a little sidetrack IM GONNA GET TO IT OKAY its just, haruka's dying words for takane man. don't cry anymore, you're gonna meet so many new people, etc. he basically tells her he is just 1 person in the long long life he assumes she will have. theyre best friends, he knew takane would mourn him terribly and thats why he thinks all that stuff he cant actually tell her.. augh haruka's goodbye to takane always gets me so so badly. bc he KNEW... like, ene lives in so much regret for not telling haruka how she felt but haruka died knowing she loved him. even if he didnt know it was romantic, he still knew she loved him :( i was going somewhere with this. (pacing around my room) oh yeah. his dying words. haruka doesn't convey all this to takane while he has the chance because of the stuff i said before but the most important was number 3. he doesnt want takane to look at him differently. plus everything he says while he is dying... god id post the whole screenshot. but he says "dont get mad at anyone but me" "please dont cry anymore" "im so sorry youve given me so much and i couldnt give back" he... doesn't Want to see takane upset. he knows she will be upset anyway but its like. at least he wont be around to see it, in a way. we could see this as kind of selfish but like The guy's dying come ON. i think he has the right to do that. lol.
WELLLL COMING BACK TO THE ORIGINAL APPROACH LMAO.. takane finding out post str....... i went on that tangent to defend haruka precisely cuz i dont think takane would be genuinely mad. its a tricky situation and its not like she can be like WELL BUT U KNEW AND U DIDNT WARN ME!?!?!?!? Like THAT IS a pretty lame position to take. HOWEVER. CONFLICT (PUTS HANDS DOWN) i think takane just needs to be mad
WHILE TAKANE WOULD BE MORE UPSET THAN MAD she IS also super impulsive. like insanely impulsive <- finds out she loves haruka and immediately runs for it even if it terrified her. so in the spur of the moment she blows up on haruka about it LOL like as SOON as she finds out. like i imagine she probably hears it from shintaro and like immediately leaves mid conversation to go find haruka and yell at him. that kind of thing.
and haruka's all like 😨😨😨 and he's stuttering cuz HE HAS AN ANSWER ABT WHY HE DIDNT TELL HER IT JUST SOUNDS RLY BAD LIKE "ERM I DIDNT WANT TO SEE U UPSET❤️" like in over the dimension haruka does get pretty nervous when takane starts pressing even if its as a joke. so especially with something so sensitive he has no idea what to do. i think he'd try to be all composed though bc its Post Str and idk str haruka is so. ethereal he is so calm isn't he. i think he would get nervous initially and then get himself together but ends up coming off as dismissive. so hes like i didnt tell you.....because i didnt want to❤️ and takane probably just needed to be mad for a little bit and was gonna get over it and be sad but hearing that just makes her so damn upset for realsies and haruka notices how she changed from😡 to 😐 and hes immediately like oh takane.... no... i didnt mean it like that...i just mean...OH DONT MAKE THAT FACE I DIDNT MEAN IT... and takane's like NOO DONT TOUCH ME WHATEVER IM LEAVINGGG unnecessary conflict in a romcom vibes
conflict probably lasts like. a day or something. a week tops. its harder for haruka than for takane. takane finds it a little refreshing i think its also cool to link it to all the other headcanons abt haruka being super desperate to be in company because erm Daze confinement gang🙏💥 while takane's a little like. i havent had a minute to myself in 11 days. so this distance actually helps her a little while haruka is like Hour 5 without my girlfriend I've cried so much i cant see anymore
they both feel like shit and do spend the time trying to see the situation from each other's perspectives though so takane realises she's being self centered and stupid and admits she just wanted to be angry and took it out on the first thing she could grasp at. but it was unfair. takane will apologize first and probably tells him she doesn't need or want him to "protect" her feelings and wants him to count on her from now onward. haruka's like *nod nod nod nod nod nod* and thanks her for apologizing. hed try to also apologize but takane doesnt accept it bc he wasnt wrong it was her who was unfair. hehe. i think he'd be crying so hard too bc to him its all these feelings coming back abt how he felt when he died and all the things he thought of telling her then. maybe he would tell her abt it, like i was thinking about all the people you'd meet and how u should be happy and not cry for me. and how in disbelief he still is that theyre together. sorry im. auauggagaggsgsggqgggg
all this just for me 2 enjoy the mental image of the little time in between where theyre awkward around each other and takane wants a little distance for a bit. i think itd be funny to see haruka being totally pathetic abt takane not paying attention to him. anyways. yeah. something like that i guess
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leggyre · 1 year
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You got any adivce for someone who's considering dropping drawing completely since they don't like what they're making at all?
honestly i've been in the same struggle recently bc it just hasn't been a good year for me. i haven't been drawing a lot bc most of the time i'm either sick or i just.. can't. I've been picking myself up as of late and it's a really difficult grind, but honestly the fact i've been able to actually start this grind is already good for now. I guess that counts as advice; be patient with yourself. Self-esteem doesn't come easy and the little steps are worth so much more than you think.
ok so uh,
-if you just started, don't think about it too much. we all start with the weird scribbles. if you stop now you might never get back to it -if you've been trying to doodle often and always end up hating the result, just take a break. art block is seasoning for burnout and you might just be tired. a lot of times i've felt bad about my art i kinda "gave up" for a while and when i came back to it it was like "wtf this easy what was my issue (it was burnout)". so take a break, play some videogames or hang out with your friends for a week. idk write essays about the media you like? it feels like you're being unproductive but resting IS part of productive because just pushing yourself will just result in nothing being done at the end of the day. -look at your favorite work! im not quite out of my latest artblock yet because its a tough one(it's been teaming up with depression caused by health problems it suuuuucks :/), but when i went long enough without being able to draw I kinda started feeling like I can't do shit and can't call myself an illustrator at all specially bc what i do isnt that big of a deal compared to others(<- comparison also big mistake remember youre the only one who can make YOUR art), going through my folders and seeing the stuff I like the most gave me a LOT of motivation to keep going, even if I was still unable to start drawing right away. not giving up is so important. -so yeah love your art. focus on drawing things you like because it's a gift from you to you, and you should treat it as such. i know it's really hard to be positive about it all the time but it can be really good to go through all your artwork at the end of a day and look at the things you like about it, even if it isn't much. -on that note, find something you really like drawing!!! back in high school i had massive periods of depression that kept me from drawing but i occasionally found sort of a 'life hack' for myself which were things i was always able to work with even during the worst times. one of them was just.. bees. i just doodled random characters as these bees and made og designs too and it was fun. the other one was using colored pencils instead of a regular one bc i just like colors and it made me happy :] it didnt matter that they always had the same overall shape or if i couldnt erase when i messed up, i was just feeling good being able to draw something that i liked. -experiment more!! expand your palettes and download some new brushes. i even change from my newest to my old busted tablet that still sorta works occasionally because using a tool that feels different is.. refreshing somehow? idk -when you need to get yourself back up, do the little steps at your own pace. do a little doodle every day. it's okay if it's always the same thing. the same character. the exact same idea. it's okay if it sucks or if it's unfinished because you struggled. Just give it little pushes. What matters is to try. and it's okay if you can't do it every day. maybe every other day if you need a slower pace. -and remember. engagement doesn't measure your skill. art is subjective anyways!!!!! i spent YEARS doodling and posting only my ocs and getting little to no notes. i think one of my favorite artworks from the time i had ~100 followers had like 0 notes for the longest time. to be honest i don't even know if it has any likes at all nowadays i'd have to look it up bc it's a bit buried
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mangobot700 · 5 months
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just hit 500 followers and i wanna say TYYY
heres a lil rant below about me & art rn
this is like, a milestone i never saw myself reaching really, it's the largest following i've ever gotten on any of my art accounts since i started posting in 2017🥺
but it feels WEIRD. i don't feel like ive earned it in a way bc i haven't been drawing or enjoying making art as much lately. I got into an art university a year ago and now it's just made me question like WHY am i doing all this... i draw silly fanart and that isnt really something that ive felt like doing anymore bc it feels embarrassing now!!!!!! and it sucks!!!! and i can tell that like i don't know what im doing or ive just like lost confidence in my skills bc ive been drawing less and less
tumblr has been great though, bc even shit i drew during lockdown still gets shared around and ppl like it. i go through the tags and it makes me happy when people really fw what i made (im lookin at u animal crossing new leaf drawing mwah🫶🫶)
but then sometimes it feels like i have to spend like more and more time on my illustrations for me to feel accomplished with them, and it gets just like tiring in that way..
i would draw all the time. in highschool especially and then during lockdown. now im old (22) and so many things get in the way. at school ppl throw around like the term "my artistic practice" and idk school has made me feel like im not artist enough.
but anyways shoutout to u followers old or new, and u mfers in the tags i love u smoochsmooch💖💖💖💖💖
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spacedhead · 1 year
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homestuck reread #7: a5a2 part 3
this is so fucked up.
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but hey check it out. vriska went goat mode
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okayyy merry christmas and happy new year to everyone reading. never too late for a happy new year
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look at roseee shes serving so hard rn. but unfortunately she is talking to doc scratch. which is something one should never do. especially if one is a light player he really loves to torment light players for some reason
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look at how cool jade looks here i would wear the shit out of this outfit if it wasnt approx. 1 trillion degrees in my location. keep slaying girl
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what a thing to say. i know what he is talking about and yet i still barely understood what he meant
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yeah WHATEVER . most important character my ass. we dont care . booooo. boo
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why is jade sprite so sad shes being such a cry baby. honestly normal jade is based for this. jade sprite is just crying and crying for NO REASON. what is even the problem!!!!!
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very fucking interesting indeed.... what a funny thing to say. that is VERY FUCKING interesting......
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woah he looks so cool i love art i love images. also he looks like has the windows logo on his face... sponsored? hello?
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okay so i guess the mayor is having a bad dream. this is pretty scary man... i wonder if its like the ring that he has affecting him in some way. i dont know what it means....
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oh? vriska is here now
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dawwww shes so EEPY!!! that being said, the next page is [s] wake, and i really fucking hate this one. so im NOT EXCITED.
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ARADIA!!!! SHE DID IT!!!! im so happy for her and nothing else happens in this animation so i might as well not watch the rest of it
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:(
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sigh. man this sucks
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look at jade go. she looks so awesome! like a super hero. iron man. tony stark . stucky. i could do this all day . blargh
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ok so now im playing another game thing. kanaya and jade just had a conversation about how they have the same role in the two different sessions and how theyre more similar than they thought. also theres some future jade present karkat past jade password shenanigans going on. i loooove when time travel makes no sense and is super confusing. that isnt sarcasm btw. and that wasnt either. also, they updated the sprites in this one so they look way better and sweeeeeeeet. that was 8 e's btw. she isnt even here to appreciate my efforts.....
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this is like scott pilgrim to me. theyre about to go at it!!!! who you guys got money on? me personally i bet sollux 3-0s him and doesnt lose a stock
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easter egg
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anyway yeah guys i was just kidding sollux was no match for eridans insane hope powers. really wasnt even fair to begin with
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yeah and now eridan snaps and becomes an incel. sadge. why do people even like this guy?? WHATEVER HES MID HOPE HE DIES SOON RIP BOZO
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my honest reaction to eridan to only knocking out the guy he had an actual problem with, but killing two women who he liked and respected
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on top of that, gamzee has officially lost it. MAN EVERYTHING IS FUCKING SPIRALING MAN TAVROS IS DEAD KANAYAS DEAD FEFERIS DEAD SOLLUX IS KO'D GAMZEES CRAZY. surely nothing else goes wrong
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yeah
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karkat....:(
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oh.....hey john....nice to see you..... maybe you can lift my mood a little...
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STOP CALLING WOMEN CRAZY. even if this one might be a little crazy .. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
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ALALALALLALAAL thats what vriska looks like shes saying. do you see it i see it personally
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man now i gotta be equius in this game. lets see how this goes...
SHES SO REAL I LOVE HER. nothing bad will ever happen to her
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okay well i reached the end of the game and also the image limit for this post. so ill continue this next time. but i just gotta say
that it was actually pretty good. like go figure the equius one was pretty engaging. equius is very protective of nepeta and it was very sad when he was like "let me take this chance to say goodbye" and nepeta was like "um okay but i will see you soon." like. yeah i guess you will.... :(
i actually liked both of them in this one isolated game . sad for whats gonna happen in the coming pages
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