#// as most ppl think dick is nearing that age

[brokentoys]

my eddie has only ever known dick as nightwing - not robin. when my eddie became riddler, tim was the robin (OR even damian). as my eddie is only 30. and definitely NOT one of bruce's first rogues.

[konboyblues]

Not Bruce Timm or any of those writers! Don’t do Barbara dirty like that! 😭 But you know I do think she would have daddy/mommy issues. Her actual dad Roger Gordon died which sent her to live with her uncle Jim Gordon who may or may not be her actual dad because he had an affair with her actual mom behind his brother’s back. Jim also cheated on his wife with another woman. Barbara’s mother and stepmother have both died. Barbara would have major relationship issues if all her history was considered still canon. Some writers are just boring and don’t do anything with it.

sjdhshdjddj 😂😂😂 so when i meant daddy issues, i meant the way her relationship with bruce has evolved since her conception as a character (from possible love interest to being a bat variant in 2023), and tho her possibly being an affair baby is absolutely hilarious, i meant that i greatly enjoy the clownery that is her relationship with bruce throughout the years. now critics will say There Are No Daddy Issues, but i think bruce timm would disagree, but in my personal opinion, the writers over the years ACCIDENTALLY gave barbara daddy issues by not keeping true to her ORIGINAL concept idea (aka being a contemporary of bruce versus her eventually evolving into a contemporary of dick), and thus putting her character in this INSANE pickle where she HAS to have a Weird Relationship With Bruce in order to be a bat variant, but now with fandumb’s obsession with dickbabs, bruce timm’s rebellion with brubabs, oracle stans revolt with nobody/babs, and the constant infantalization of batverse characters that portray any and all robins and bat variants as bruce’s “children” when most of them are not, she’s in this weird place where ppl remember her for being creepy with dick, some ppl simply don’t want her anywhere near the bat variants and robins anymore, dickbabs nation is winning in the current batverse runs, brubabs stans got an animated sex scene, AND YET…….. nobody wanna just write her for her and actually give her the time and complexity she COULD have right now.

anon you are absolutely right that barbara has a RICH history that can be used to develop her greatly, but they’ve cheapened out for this cookie cutter shit. i’d go as far as to say that they shoulda let barbara keep her age gap with dick. put it out there that Something Is Amiss Here, but the steady pursuit towards “sanitizing” the absolute wretchedness that is 99.99% of dc comics history……. sad. they forget that this tyler perry shit actually sells.

like let her be weird. unapproachable, even. she is, canonically, Very Weird, but she aint crazy enough anymore smh, the writers keep pulling back like they’re trying not to offend delicate shipper sensibilities. mothafuckas think riddlebabs is ew. bro riddlebabs would actually make her so FUNNY. maybe even let some of her darker traits shine instead of being dickie the heartthrob’s redhead gf. at least with riddlebabs, her daddy issues could blossom considering riddler and jim have a kinda sorta frenship when eddie’s not wilin and off his meds 😂😂😂

[ambelle]

What I find interesting is the need for a more elaborate romantic past for Dick at this point. Jinx is his fourth ex to show up in so many seasons. And he has never dated two of them in the comics. (He's becoming the D&D bard meme.)

Sheesh Man. Okay I'll bite since I've been ignoring these type of questions since Thursday.

Who is the 4th ex? Dawn, Babs, Jinx and who? Kory?

And he's like 30 so 3 exes make him a whore how? He hasn't had sex since season one and apparently didn't date or even befriend anyone in those 5 years between the Titans breaking up and meeting Kory.

I'll also never understand why DickDawn was so traumatic for this fandom. Even in the Trigon dream Kory was who mattered the most and he knew her for like 2 weeks at that point. Yet he killed for her. Season 2 he said he and Dawn were filling a void which is hardly romantic. It was there as a direct comparison to how he talked about Kory. You had Dawn who did nothing but put him down and then you had Kory be the one who figured out he was trying to trade himself to Slade and save him. You had Kory decide not to turn her back on him when Dawn walked out on him the second time. You had Kory stay to bust him out of prison when Dawn left him there to rot for the third time. So what about season 2 makes people hyperfocus on DickDawn? If you guys would stop thinking about DickDawn's one makeout scene you'd remember the time she threatened to burn down his house and blamed him for Jason getting kidnapped...which then convinced him to basically end his life. You would remember he barely even looked at her present-day season 2. She just followed him around his house antagonizing him. What stops everyone from realizing how important Kory was and seeing that was the point? Is it because they didn't have sex? Is that it?

We can all agree DickBabs was a waste of time but here's the thing...they kissed and then broke up. Season 3 was a waste of screen time that should have gone to DickKory, Gar, and Rachel yes...but what is it about Babs that has people so pressed. Down to the point of being mad at the way he broke up with her? He didn't even want to go on a date with her. They argued most of the time. Kory is his partner that's the point. He doesn't belong in Gotham that's the point. Did we need a whole season to tell that no, but that makes me wonder what is the issue with Jinx being an ex.

Jinx isn't stalling DickKory. Jinx isn't taking him away for a season she's literally a plot device for DickKory. Damn near ships them. What has Jinx done besides reminding us Dick wasn't a virgin in his 20s, that he doesn't like or trust her, and that he has feelings for Kory? Why does this matter so much? I'm just trying to understand. He dated 2 women when he lived in Gotham. Alright. He lived there since age 13.

Is 4 women really a long list for people? Is anyone going to acknowledge he hasn't had sex since season 1? Are we shocked ppl have had sex on a HBO Max show? Are none of you tired of rejecting your W? We just found out Dick is Kory's destiny and y'all are pressed he had sex with this woman he no longer likes 8 years ago. And not had sex with random strangers but women he was actually dating. Hell even Barry on the Flash had Felicity, Linda, and Patty by season 2.

If the issue is wanting Dick to focus on Kory he is doing that. If the issue is not wanting him to be distracted by other women he isn't. If the issue is wanting to see him turn down other women in favor of Kory he's doing that.

What is the issue?

[welcometogrouchland]

About your post here: I’ve noticed recently a lot more posts in general on tumblr just being condescending and mean to kids for not knowing things and it annoys me too, don’t these people remember what it’s like to be a young teen and not know basically anything? Even when you’re trying to learn? How is it their fault??? So frustrating

YEAH I feel you. I didn't mention it in the og post but those posts do seem to be geared towards teens and kids more often than not I think (that's just based on personal observation tho, which is obvs biased).

As for why- tbh that's a topic I have a lot of thoughts on? Mostly baseless speculation since I have no real experience studying this kind of thing and again idk if it's even a real phenomenon or if it just feels like one to me.

Tbh one reason may be that during the pandemic, more ppl began staying inside, on screens, which meant more teens started exhibiting Chronically Online Behaviour™ (bc they literally were chronically online), which means more ppl started losing patience and being snide when trying to steer them away from such behavior (bc everyone's patience is worn thin by a pandemic!)

And like. I know we say it most often as a joke on here BUT genuinely the user base of Tumblr aging bc the ppl originally on it as teens haven't left (for good reason lol) is probably a contributing factor.

It's mostly a good thing but like you said- they genuinely might not remember much about their teen years! Or at least they don't sympathize much w/ their teenage self and that's reflected in their interaction w/ young ppl.

Ppl sometimes don't want to have to put in the extra work that comes w/ talking to someone who has considerably less life experience than you. It's understandable but sometimes ppl just get miffed abt it all.

Also like. This is a broad and complex topic so I'm going to limit myself talking abt it too much but- since early online culture and in especially in recent years, people on the internet seem genuinely think that being annoying or ignorant is truly a justification for being bullied and/or harassed.

Like it takes different forms across different groups and platforms but it's very much a part of the tone of a lot of online conversations. And I am NOT saying that well meaning but snide advice posts are the same as bullying- far from it! They're two very different things and the latter is at least well intentioned most of the time.

But I think needlessly aggressive conversations are a much bigger feature of online spaces than irl spaces and thus they slip into posts that don't even mean it/aren't even particularly invested in the topic at hand, all bc ppl perceive the target audience as ignorant or annoying.

Which isn't to say that it's not a two way street- most ppl online are like this! Oftentimes I'm like this, even when I don't mean to be! sometimes teens are ignorant or annoying and sometimes they're downright mean but. being a dick abt advice isn't going to change that. and I'd argue that normalizing being needlessly mean about innocuous topics is just gonna make them worse in the long run? So. Something something 4D chess.

And like, That's really what makes posts like that so frustrating- they want to be informative or educational but they go about it in such a counterproductive and off putting way! The accusatory tone and condescension just makes the reader defensive and unwilling to learn bc they feel attacked...when the posts entire point to be educational.

my og post wasn't phrased particularly nice either, bc I was angry and upset- and that's probably not gonna convince ppl to thoughtfully reevaluate their behavior! If I went into a post with the intention to do that I'd probably word everything differently.

Sometimes a firm hand is needed or expected when it comes to serious topics and I am NOT advocating for ppl to tone police themselves when it comes to things near and dear to them (truly hope that comes across in this post)

but if someone is complaining about how ppl use their personal blogs, navigate websites that don't work like any other current social media, or any other trivial task that doesn't come natural unless you have experience w/ it...it just feels like a waist of energy on everyone's part.

This has all been a very long winded way of saying- I totally get you and agree. it's just not productive to write out a vent-y rant on the same post as your informational guide and the frustration and embarrassment that comes from being condescended to online isn't productive either. Be mad, for sure, just don't try and teach ppl a skill or lesson while you're mad. There's a reason parents shouting at their kids during homework about how simple the problem is doesn't teach them anything.

[corvidshipping]

my personality traits for my Brand New Guy so far are:

he may be hot but he really doesn’t think of himself as A Hot Guy. that is to say he’s not rly a womanizer type, doesn’t rly preen himself particularly, doesn’t use his appearance to get what he needs (like information) even when he easily could. he does dress well and he does put effort into his appearance, like he does his hair and makeup and outfits the way he likes, it’s just not rly for anyone else’s benefit or to specifically look nice, he just likes how HE looks in things. it’s not that he’s unaware of how he looks it’s just rly not something that’s anywhere near the top of his mind or his priorities. he’s kind of an effortlessly cool guy but without the effortlessness cause again he does dress good on purpose but just bc he likes how it looks. it’s the confidence what makes him so hot i think. imo

very dry, sarcastic, ironic and at times dark sense of humor. in his life he had seen some Shit so he definitely developed some true gallows humor to deal with it, but he’s not the type to make fun of other peoples difficult situations. a lot of ppl don’t get his humor and think he’s being serious about things at times or think he’s just saying like actual nonsense/nonsequiturs.

generally a chill and laid back guy but nowhere near the way deacon is. deacon is chill and laid back in like a dad way, a cool dad who drives a car and is aging incredibly gracefully but is also constantly making the dumbest jokes you’ve ever heard and supports his adoptive daughter/charge almost TOO loudly (like the dads in the football stands who bring an entire giant sign to support their kids on like a practice game). my new guy is chill in like an uncle j.esse from f.ull h.ouse way. i imagine. i have never seen f.ull h.ouse. just picture like a guy who’s incredibly popular and cool in school bc he’s attractive but he’s not a dick about it and is pretty generally nice and keeps to himself and his surprisingly small group of close friends. would be fine if he wasn’t popular at all. nice to everyone unless they’re an asshole to him first. respectful. but most importantly again very much keeps to himself.

very private fellow. doesn’t like sharing information about his private life openly. this is something he and miss moon agree strongly on, which is interesting because miss moon probably knows more about him than anyone else who is still in contact with him (his old friends probably know as much or more but they don’t even know he still exists bc of muse rules) and miss moon honestly feels like she knows Way Too Much about him. she’d be fine with it if all she knew abt him was that he’s a guy, he’s a muse, and he used to smoke. and tbh? even the smoking thing is a little too personal to her.

ppl think he’s some kind of stoic bad boy often bc he’s very quiet but honestly he is quiet bc he doesn’t have a lot to say. he is always listening though. he’s one of those ppl who ends up knowing everything abt everyone because he sits quietly and people just start talking abt things with each other that they wouldn’t say to anyone else while he’s around bc they just assume he isn’t listening bc he’s not saying anything. this is not something he rly cares abt one way or the other bc he has no real use for it cause he really doesn’t care what other ppl do unless it’s something thts completely fucked and harmful, but it becomes useful when he’s partnered with miss moon to investigate the disappearances. he doesn’t even mean to eavesdrop he is just a perceptive and attentive person and most ppl talk way more loudly than he’d prefer they do.

you might assume from how cool he is that he takes his coffee black and bitter bc he’s so cool and edgy and he can handle it but no. no. a million sugars and creams for this guy. he does like the taste of coffee (so like he doesn’t want it to taste NOTHING like coffee) but he is so easily swayed by a fancy lil mocha frappuccino with double extra whip. definite sweet tooth on this dude.

his major flaw is sometimes he is so laid back and not bothered abt what’s going on outside his circle that he’s Too laid back and apathetic. part of it makes sense if you consider his life was so incredibly difficult growing up that he kind of had to learn to push all the other shit away to be able to deal with just his shit and not be distracted and actually survive, instead of worrying about everything that’s happening and overwhelming himself and getting dragged under. but it’s not a good excuse and he can be very apathetic with some pretty morally grey things. when trails go cold he gives up way easier than miss moon simply because he can’t be assed to care about why it went cold and he figures they should focus on finding new leads and continuing to move forward instead. it also can make him seem pretty emotionally unavailable to others bc if you aren’t close to him and you share something that’s personal and troubling you, often you pretty much just get a “that sucks dude”. because apathy and having learned to focus on his own survival + his laser focus on privacy and boundaries and feeling like much more than superficial knowledge of someone is just too much fucking information (but not as much as miss moon. nowhere near her actually). he is not an easy person to get close to honestly. bc part of getting close to someone IS sharing personal things and trusting them and he is just not interested in knowing that. or trusting others

yeah he has some trust issues. he mainly relied on himself growing up. his family was supportive but they couldn’t help him any more than they could help themselves bc they were all in the same situation, so he knew it was kinda useless to ask them for much bc wtf are they gonna do about the same issues they’re unable to help themselves with? he did have a set of close friends in life, but that took a while to even happen bc of his hangups and he’s still kind of stuck in the mentality of that circle being closed and tight knit, he’s not really ready to bring anyone else into his life even if he doesn’t know them anymore. it’s like he has a lifetime maximum quantity of trusted ppl and he’s already hit the cap.

kind of proud to be honest, in a way that is a hang up for him. never liked to ask for help from his friends even when they could have helped him, and even when they offered it he always turned them down and felt like he could never accept it. he’d feel like he was indebted to them and he hates owing ppl. he pays debts and repays favors as quickly as he can bc he hates feeling like he’s getting something for free or out of pity. big on the idea of being even with someone. part of it is bc he had so little in his life that he felt like the last truly meaningful thing he had was his dignity and integrity, but he took it too far tbh. big on earning things for himself. hates feeling like he didn’t work hard enough to earn something, which happens more often than he’d like to admit because he often struggles with insecurity involving this and a pervasive fear that things are given to him out of pity or charity. doesn’t really speak about it though. whenever he feels that way he tends to go quietly do some more work to feel even on it. (like if he felt he was being congratulated or celebrated way more on a solve than he deserved, he wouldn’t openly tell anyone but he would just kind of quietly go and like… anonymously send any victims some help to keep them extra afloat, or start on another case like immediately)

also to clarify: it is not that he isn’t a nice person and wouldn’t help ppl out of the kindness of his heart when they are victims he just honestly usually feels it’s not his business and kind of assumes Everyone feels the same way he does about being indebted or given favors. to him he’s doing a nice thing by solving their issue and leaving them alone bc if he did any more it would be A) way too personal for his comfort B) an invasion of their privacy as well and C) potentially embarrassing to them bc it could be interpreted as him implying that they’re not capable of supporting themselves.

in his life he grew up extra poor in a pretty broke area with a lot of crime. but the school district he belonged to was filled with a lot of rich kids from neighboring areas that were a lot wealthier than he was. in primary and years like 6/7 through 8 he wasn’t really notable at all, not super popular or conversely not super bullied or anything kind of just an average kid who no one noticed outside his group of like 3 or 4ish friends. but in year 9 and especially in the rest of secondary school he kind of randomly underwent this whole transformation where he suddenly became very noticeable and ppl considered him very cool for his chill attitude. honestly he blossomed the most noticeably in year 10, like all of a sudden over the summer he completely changed how he looked and dressed. despite being poor he dressed very well, mostly by A) trawling through thrift shops B) customizing everything he has (his mother was a tailor and a seamstress so she was able to fit a lot of his clothes specifically for him) and C) just generally… not caring about fashion trends or what was considered cool or if people thought he looked stupid and just doing his own thing, putting effort into his appearance for his own sake and not rly anyone else’s.

also in year 10 he definitely started borrowing his moms makeup a lot. he didn’t do like huge glam looks or anything but there was definitely concealer and lip tint and eyeliner involved. not rly something he hid bc he didn’t rly care if anyone knew but didn’t rly openly talk abt it bc #privacy.

ppl in his school definitely remember him as a very chill, nice, kinda quiet cool guy. just a decent fellow. generally positive opinions abt him. it’s not like anyones like oh my GOD where is he now and constantly actively thinking abt him, but if you ask about him ppl are definitely gonna be like oh dang i loved that guy i hope he’s doing good now! if he ever showed up to a reunion there wouldn’t be a single person who wasn’t happy to see him again and say hi, but it’s not like he’d like. be getting followed around or anything. which like good for him. he values his privacy. good for him that ppl respect that.

loves his fruity drinks. not a beer guy in the slightest. if a drink does not at all taste alcoholic and just tastes like a juice or something but has like 75% abv he’s into it. not a lightweight at all though. big fan of daiquiris especially frozen or blended. like i said, a sweet toothed motherfucker

[whaleofatjme1920]

HEY B GIMMIE THAT SWEET SWEET RIVAL MATCHUP U ALREADY KNO

You already know who this is but ill still give u a hot rundown: My names Ally, im 20 years old 5’7’’ and a Leo/year of the dragon/INFP. She/They pronouns and im Pansexual but i dont think that matters much in this situation >:P. Appearance wise i have shoulder length curly red hair and green/grey eyes, suuuuper pale skin and freckles. Im def an ambivert, very protective of people who mean alot to me and kind of sharp tempered, especially when people start talking about shit they dont know anything about. Im also a pretty big perfectionist and people pleaser and will beat the FUCK outta myself if i feel like i let people down or made people upset when i could have helped it. But thats all about me, heres those wacky questions!

- Stated before, but im an August Leo! I would say my aura would probably be a pinkish/ purple color? For dislikes i def dont like bitter foods, being too hot, rumors, people talking behind my back, ppl who act like they know what theyre talking about, ppl cutting me off when i lose my train of thought, conservatives, not caring about climate change/the planet in general, tight or restrictive clothes, not having enough time in the day, capitalism, ect. Honestly the most off the wall thing for me that would make me throw hands on sight would probably be someone saying some shit about my close friends behind their back to me.

- Once when I was 14 me and about 10 other people squeezed into a mini van at about 3am and drove around the town, not a single one of us had a license or were over the age of 16, and we were all ridiculously drunk and high the entire time (except the driver. we were underage, not stupid). After driving halfway across the island we got pulled over by cop on the interstate, and he walked up to the car, looked at the driver, then into the passenger seat and saw literally 10 KIDS OBVIOUSLY DRINKING and the car absolutely reeked of bud, then looked back at the driver and simply told him “Your tail light is out. Get home safe” and drove away. Ive never seen god faster than that moment LMAO

- I could never willingly fight a raccoon, youre sick for suggesting that >:/ They are precious boys and ive saved too many from drowning in my pool for me to lay a finger on one. And as for dealbreakers? My biggest one in a relationship is cheating, but thats pretty basic LMAO. I would also say one that’s definitely second in rank would be expecting someone to stay the same through out the relationship and getting upset when the person changes. We are human beings and developing and growing, if you dont support me in that nothing is going to work. I explained a bunch of things i dislike in people above, but ill also add in here people who hurt animals in any way/ litter for no reason. If one of my friends throws a piece of trash out of my car im slammin on the brakes and youre getting out and picking it up. And god forBID you touch an animal around me il doing whatever you did to it to yourself no hesitation.

- I would hate being stuck in a room with anyone, i have decently bad claustrophobia and if we were in there for more than a day i would start bugging out LOL But probably the worst type of person would be someone who just doesn’t shut up and trys to act like they know everything. Those are like, the most insufferable people to me. ESPECIALLY if theyre wrong and refuse to admit it. Whenever i think of being locked in a room, somehow i always imagine like a dark navy blue room with one small window and completely empty floors and walls, everything made out of carpet. Dont ask me why, i have absolutely no clue.

my feed back is ily bitch gimmie a good one i wanna fight a bitch

Your enemy is… Eyeless Jack!

In general:

I told you this yesterday but I wasn’t expecting you to send this in and must've spent like 5 straight minutes wheezing reading this. My gut reaction was Jeff, but based on what you wrote about the room, I’m going to say your enemy is actually Eyeless Jack!

Things he doesn’t like about you and how he pisses you off:

EJ doesn’t like that you’re a Leo. I’m not elaborating on that. He’s such a cold, clinical, heartless bastard that everything you are just goes against whatever tf he actually believes and acts as. I feel like you being a perfectionist would just brush against his perfectionist tendencies and habits. He’d say everything you’re doing is wrong. Just a dick. EJ may or may not exploit your weaknesses but that’s just because he thinks it’s fun and doesn’t like you.

EJ is a god of knowing what he’s talking about and it leads to this cocky, know it all attitude. It’s gonna brush you the wrong way. He knows that and takes joy in it. He will always attempt to one up you in knowledge and grin when he sees you falter. On the other end, if you catch him off guard he’s gonna be SO MAD. He will purposely turn up the heat in your presence just to make you upset. He will breathe down your neck and get in your personal space just to make you more uncomfortable. EJ isn’t anywhere NEAR a conservative or a climate change denier but he will take those positions just to make you mad and laugh over your attempts at arguing with him. Like Jeff, he’s a huge devil’s advocate and will start shit just because he can. I don’t actually think he’d talk about your friends negatively in front of you though, but he would definitely say stuff about you to your face.

EJ thinks it’s stupid you drank underage and will poke that memory. He will use insults about alcohol and the brain despite drinking a ton himself. If you call him out on it, he will fold. Literally throw everything he says about you back at him and he will get puffy and fast. EJ can’t always handle change that well so like, he’s a stubborn guy. Despite how logical he can be and how smart he is, socially he is so uncouth!! EJ doesn’t litter so you don’t have to worry about that but he’s definitely gonna do things that push your buttons, mostly say things that put you off. He’s not claustrophobic. He will put you in situations like that just because he can. The dark navy blue of his mask is going to haunt you. EJ will act like a god in your presence and snarl when you dare question his abilities. CALL HIM OUT. HUMBLE HIM PLEASE.

He agrees on the raccoon thing ngl. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but EJ has such a soft spot for animals - mostly birds - but he can’t fault you for the raccoon thing. He's also not too fond of litter so he has to agree with you on that one too.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Knowing you for as long as I have, I was so, so ready to actually put you with Jeff. However, the more I read into this the more my intuition screeched that you would actually throw hands with EJ and I find that HILARIOUS. Just the arguments between you and this tall, muscular demon man is just - “what? What? WHAT” It’s beautiful. I’m serious, Merida vs. a literal demon. That’s all. Ily. <3

[fallingsunflower]

https://hoochy-coo.tumblr.com/post/658016406962618368/truly-tho-ppl-who-are-like-well-this-is-harry

it’s so sad that most people think so low of him. Idk what kind of experiences they had with guys, but to think that every guy his age (and younger) just thinks with their dick makes me really mad. Like sure lots of young guys are probably like that but I hate these bias and just bc Harry is young, attractive and rich doesn’t mean he bangs everything that breathes near him. Some guys (and I include Harry in this) still have morals and don’t go only for looks. Sure his public „relationships“ were all kinda the same but I still believe that most of these weren’t real but more for easy promo. Think of me what you want and call me naive but I personally think that Harry kinda needs a connection with someone before going any further. He doesn’t strike me as the one night stand type of guy and also not for someone who has casual sex all the time...

Yeah I agree with you

link

[jolivia-things]

https://hoochy-coo.tumblr.com/post/658016406962618368/truly-tho-ppl-who-are-like-well-this-is-harry

it’s so sad that most people think so low of him. Idk what kind of experiences they had with guys, but to think that every guy his age (and younger) just thinks with their dick makes me really mad. Like sure lots of young guys are probably like that but I hate these bias and just bc Harry is young, attractive and rich doesn’t mean he bangs everything that breathes near him. Some guys (and I include Harry in this) still have morals and don’t go only for looks. Sure his public „relationships“ were all kinda the same but I still believe that most of these weren’t real but more for easy promo. Think of me what you want and call me naive but I personally think that Harry kinda needs a connection with someone before going any further. He doesn’t strike me as the one night stand type of guy and also not for someone who has casual sex all the time...

I feel like if he was as much of a lothario as people claim then there would be more stories. If you're that famous I think you have to be actually really careful about who you sleep with.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

maybe a blessing - certainly a lesson 

not that imma trynna tell my wife either - im not that psyko - fux 

i love music thank gawdess 4 ojays today - i couldnt get my 2 brain cells too cooperate not feelin too swift and tired af from doing little otherwise known as fuck all - napped a bit - another lesson in being powerless - like lemon aid if u get the drift and more spiritual claptrap 

w the virus we dial back the baking and i need to trance out more -still not quite - over - the watever - it is imma having - still mild ish - not surprised and yah imma b careful - i spend much of my day - resting - tv on to something mindless - i mean if there was any evidence in roswell - unfound 80 fukken yr later - but yah i watch lol - i like egyptology also in my free time - actually a couple weeks ago i watch the 3rd remake of Shaft w samuel action jackson - actually i think that wuz a blaxploitation hero also - 2 hours of brutal killing then revenge n word b word homophobia - yah tongue in cheek some and over the top but fuck - but one morning it kept my mind off enough to get some rest and fall asleep 

my wife dont want consoling - now - except when she starts crying - wtf can i say - i let her know we b ok - but she kinda knew that tho recent uh has her maybe worried - she got close to her team - it took a while to build one - and she loves the work even simple common accident law - she likes trying to get a just outcome - that ppl sue each other instead of say shooting each other i think that is a good thing - oh yah i forget - not everybody knows me - my wife is an attorney

in other news - i cant see my best friend and business partner on her birthday - its ok - we saw each other w a lotta distance yesterday - she kept word to her father - did not come inside my house - tho he kinda means dont go anywhere near - i mean not even the neighborhood - we played together a little  - enuff 

so im here even less a little 

the kitty is an angel - she dont understand it - all - she knows there is sadness 

ppl that know me - there i goes again but there are more than a few that dont know- that i been here b4 - market meltdown and some society - mid morning morning fone call - fired- no good reason 

had no real $ cushion at the time - was supporting 3 households largely w 3 different insane expensive sf bay area rents 

junger then but no job prospect - starting to age t was indeed  - i was still kinda active trading - when i had to - heart hadnt been it for a while 

most important job today and next few - simple - dont b a dick t - just dont 

later

love

[samscns-blog]

      *    𝖎𝖋   ur  ready  to  two  step  into  some  absolute  BULLSHIT  tomfoolery  ,  ya  girl  𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧  is  ready  for  u  with  my  lil  firecrotch  son  ,  𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖘𝖔𝖓  .  strong  silent  type  ,  ABSOLUTE  buffoon  ,  barely  keeping  it  together  so  hopefully  by  the  time  we’re  done  w  him  he’s  still  in  something  resembling  one  piece  :’)  all  my  love  to  u  and  u  cute  asses  !  i’m  so  excited  to  get  this  all  poppin  !

⋆  ╰  another   year   at   hollingsworth   ,  another   year   of   the  big   six rivalry   .   i   hear   that  SAMSON  MAILOTO   is   ensuring  SIGMA  ALPHA  NU   gets   a   solid   pledge   class   and   stays   at   the   top   of   the   ranks   .  oh   ,   you’re   not   familiar   with  HIM  ?  SAM   is   the  KJ  APA   look   alike   from  THE  BRONX   ,   NEW  YORK   .   a  part   of   PC  ‘16   ,  he  is   majoring   in  KINESIOLOGY   and   has   plans   to  ENTER  THE  MMA  AND  ESCAPE  FROM  THE  PUBLIC  EYE   after   undergrad   .   it   makes   sense   they   pledged   their   house   ,   their  PHLEGMATIC   &  SOLICITOUS   attributes   make   them   perfect   matches   .   however   ,   their  TREPIDATIOUS   &  AUSTERE   attributes   keep   their   name   alive   on  greek   rank   .   if   you   don’t   catch   them   dancing   to  BLEACH   -   BROCKHAMPTON   at   a   fraternity   band   party   this   year   ,   you’ll   be   sure   to   catch   them   nursing   their   morning   hangover   at  THE  SNU  HOUSE   .  cheers   to   another   wild   semester  !

⋆ ╰   𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺  .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍    𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 :     samson  ioaleki  mailoto

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬     :    sam  ,  sammy  

𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆    /    𝒂𝒈𝒆 :    february  4    ,    twenty

𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄     :    aquarius

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓    𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚    /    𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔     :     cismale  identifying    with    he  /  him  /  his  pronouns    

𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏     :     heteroflexible  and  pansexual  ;  he’s  never  actively  considered  himself  as  lgbtq+  but  has  also  never  given  it  much  thought  ddjdjdjdkjdk

𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏    :    kinesiology  major  at  hu  ,  aspiring  welterweight  mma  fighter  ,  us  olympic  representitive  for  men’s  boxing  in  the  2020  olympics

𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔    𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆    :    gryffindor

𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏    𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅    𝒃𝒚     :     eliot  alder  from  mr  robot  ,  kylo  ren  from  the  new  star  wars  series  ,  detective  elliot  stabler  from  law  and  order  svu  ,  steve  rogers  from  the  mcu  

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔    :    -    trepidatious  ,  austere  ,  apprehensive  ,  hesitant  ,  antisocial  ,  hostile  ,  bellicose  .

+        phlegmatic  ,  solicitous  ,  benevolent  ,  rational  ,  stalwart  ,  loyal  ,  reliable  ,  optimistic  .

𝑃𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑇  located  here  !

⋆ ╰    𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

bullet  points  for  the  win  bc  who  has  time  for  all  the  tomfoolery  i  could  spew  from  my  ass  !

sammy’s  mom  was  a  housekeeper  in  upper  manhattan  for  some  fancy  dancy  homes  who  needed  their  gold  toilet  seat  covers  sanitized  3x  a  day  ,  u  know  the  type 🙄

samson  grew  up  in  a  run  down  apartment  in  a  small  samoan  community  in  the  bronx  and  has  always  been  a  lil  antisocial  weirdo  since  those  warm  dark  eyes  came  into  the  light  .  he  rlly  minded  his  own  business  n  wasn’t  really  curious  about  literally  anything  besides  running  and  wrestling  w  his  cousins  .  his  mom  struggled  to  keep  him  fed  and  housed  and  dressed  and  worked  relentless  hours  but  never  left  sam  needing  anything  ,  a  literal  fucking  legend  of  a  woman  and  he’s  proud  to  carry  her  last  name  !

sammy  always  felt  the  weight  of  never  wanting  to  be  an  extra  burden  to  his  mother  and  learned  to  really  be  self-sufficient  ,  likely  explaining  his  satisfaction  with  being  so  alone  

he  vaguely  remembers  the  night  his  life  changed  in  middle  school  ,  the  hushed  strained  whisper  from  the  living  room  ,  he’s  your  god  damned  son  too  ,  think  about  him  for  once  in  your  fucking  life  .  it  hit  like  a  fucking  train  once  the  story  picked  up  ,  5  time  nfl  superbowl  champ  father  to  secret  love  child  .  think  arnold  schwarznegger’s  secret  son  level  scandal  !  suddenly  his  shithead  of  a  dead  is  trying  to  salvage  his  image  ,  fighting  for  split  custody  arrangements  ,  telling  the  press  how  much  in  child  support  he  payed  ,  anything  to  save  his  ass

this  is  the  first  time  samson  remembers  being  fueled  by  rage  in  his  life  ,  as  a  relatively  well-tempered  child  ,  the  injustice  of  having  this  near-stranger  try  to  be  a  “  DAD  ” to  him  while  shitting  all  over  his  mother’s  name  made  his  fucking  blood  boil  and  becomes  a  theme  for  his  future

he  spends  the  next  chapters  of  his  life  going  to  the  fancy  private  schools  in  new  york  his  dad  picks  for  him  and  tearing  his  tie  off  on  the  ratty  bus  ride  into  the  bronx  to  go  home  to  his  mom  .  he  hates  having  to  haul  ass  back  and  forth  ,  wishing  he  could  stay  with  the  only  family  he’s  actually  given  a  shit  about  ,  but  bears  it  for  the  sake  of  not  causing  his  mom  any  more  torment  .  his  father  is  as  awful  as  could  be  imagined  ,  and  samson  hates  every  second  of  existing  with  him  ,  the  snarky  little  comments  at  school  and  in  the  ritzy  wealthy  circles  that  make  him  feel  more  of  a  black  sheep  than  he  ever  asked  to  be

this  becomes  the  root  of  his  anxiety  ,  bearing  the  weight  of  the  world’s  expectations  on  his  young  shoulders  and  repressing  his  own  needs  and  desires  as  a  result  .  he  goes  into  every  sport  imaginable  ,  his  father’s  DNA  being  increasingly  difficult  to  deny  ,  but  finds  a  particular  talent  with  fighting  and  takes  on  as  many  fighting  styles  as  he’s  able  to  master

turning  18  should  mean  freedom  for  sam  ,  but  nothing  is  ever  as  simple  as  he  could  ask  in  his  life  .  in  order  to  keep  the  child  support  payments  that  admittedly  help  keep  his  mother  afloat  ,  his  father  asks  one  more  thing  of  samson  :  hold  off  on  his  pro  mma  dreams  for  just  a  little  longer  in  order  to  attend  his  alma  matter  ,  hollingsworth  university  ,  as  a  publicity  move  and  then  he’ll  be  out  of  sam’s  life  in  every  way  except  financially  .  with  the  dream  of  completing  college  like  his  mom  always  aspired  for  him  ,  sam  agreed  and  went  on  to  appease  the  man  one  last  time  ,  joining  his  former  fraternity  to  sweeten  the  deal  (  and  secure  a  lovely  brownstone  in  his  childhood  neighborhood  signed  in  his  mother’s  name  )  and  is  a  year  out  from  graduating  and  letting  mma  be  the  only  reason  his  name  would  ever  appear  in  the  tabloids  .

⋆ ╰    𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

personality  wise  ,  i  describe  sam  as  the  stupid  bitch  w  big  npc  energy  ,  if  u  want  him  to  talk  u  gotta  talk  to  him  first  and  even  then  he  might  just  give  u  that  hostile  stare  and  just  .. . .  remain  silent  KSDFSDF

he’s  about  as  NOT  a  people  person  as  physically  possible  ,  would  really  be  content  just  sticking  to  his  inner  circle  for  like  the  rest  of  his  life  without  concern  .  he  seems  like  this  rude  stand-offish  dick  but  the  truth  is  he’s  PAINFULLY  SHY  and  has  a  p  severe  case  of  generalized  anxiety  disorder  so  interactions  ?  w  new  ppl  ?  are  a  HARD  pass

did  i  mention  he’s  on  steriods  bc  that  def  adds  to  his  anxiety  and  hostility  !  lmao  !  he  started  juicing  in  high  school  when  his  dad  kept  pressuring  him  for  football  and  how  he  was  “  twice  your  size ”   at  that  age  ,  n  he  HATES  the  dude  but  he’s  also  lowkey  insecure  abt  his  lack  of  a  father  figure  so  ?  used  daddy’s  money  to  start  his  first  cycle  and  pay  off  to  test  clean  and  now  he’s  been  hooked  on  and  off  .  he’s  currently  starting  a  new  cycle  to  bulk  up  for  the  new  season  and  prep  for  the  2020  olympics  but  swears  he  wont  be  on  them  forever  :/

they  make  him  SUPER  aggressive  when  set  off  ,  it’s  a  decent  thing  that  sam’s  so  monotone  and  shy  that  he’s  also  pretty  laid  back  and  kinda  hard  to  rile  up  .  he  really  doesn’t  take  much  personally  and  won’t  do  a  huge  “  chest  pumped  bro  lets  do  this ”  show  bc  he  ?  thinks  all  those  guys  who  do  that  are  tools  LMAO  but  find  the  right  button  to  push  n  he’ll  become  the  very  thing  he  despises  !

if  u  can  get  past  the  literal  awkward  silence  and  resting  bitch  face  ,  sammy  is  actually  really  well  known  for  being  just  a  generally  decent  guy  .  the  perception  is  often  that  he’s  a  dick  bc  he  think’s  he’s  better  than  a  lot  of  ppl  ,  but  the  truth  is  he’s  just  too  nervous  to  start  conversations  n  most  ppl  assume  its  an  ego  thing  vs  a  “  i’m  about  to  piss  myself  thinking  abt  all  the  ways  this  convo  can  go  wrong  so  i’ll  just  not  talk  and  glare  @  u  instead  ”  thing

if  he  had  his  shit  together  he  would  definitely  qualify  as  a  dad  type  ,  but  since  he  doesn’t  ,  he  won’t  SSHSHSHSH  but  he’s  really  just  a  softie  deep  down  ,  he  has  a  stupid  as  HELL  sense  of  humor  and  is  really  objective  and  level  headed  .  the  gryffindor  in  him  is  DEEPLY  loyal  ,  like  to  the  death  ,  but  he’s  got  lots  of  hufflepuff  in  the  sense  that  he’s  really  willing  to  get  his  hands  dirty  to  help  those  in  need  .  u  need  help  moving  ?  someone  to  keep  u  company  while  u  babysit  ?  feel  nervous  walking  alone  after  class  at  night  ?  sammy  might  leave  u  on  read  if  u  text  him  bc  he’s  a  Dumb  Bitch  like  that  but  he’ll  show  up  on  the  dot  ,  hands  in  pockets  ,  exactly  where  u  asked  him  to  be  ready  to  do  what  u  asked  him  to  do  .  the  mans  is  a  super  hard  worker

he  def  still  feels  kinda  weird  at  uni  ?  he’s  p  smart  but  some  of  the  classes  unrelated  to  athletics  and  anatomy  have  given  him  a  REALLY  tough  time  (  dance  appreciation  for  his  fine  arts  credit  almost  tanked  his  gpa  LMAO  )  and  he’s  not  top  of  his  class  or  anything  but  ppl  still  try  to  talk  to  him  bc  of  the  whole  “  famous  dad  ,  future  olympian  ”  thing  ,  which  he  can  pick  up  from  a  mile  a  way  and  makes  him  super  uncomfortable  .  even  being  in  a  frat  w  a  bunch  of  old  money  rich  boys  makes  him  DEF  feel  like  the  odd  one  out  ,  and  he’s  just  counting  down  the  days  until  he’s  OUT  OF  HERE

in  conclusion  :  i  love  u  all  .  lets  suffer  together  .  :~)

[bleedpure]

         mark lee vc: LEZ GEDDIT   !   i’m al or ally, i’m nineteen, i’m in the cst timezone aka the midwest, so u know what that means   !   it sucks   !   i don’t even know how to transition out of that. i’m so bad at talking about myself, so i think we’re just gonna not do that.......   we’ll talk about seulki instead, which i can assure u he’s 100% more interesting than i will ever be   !   u can find his info under the cut and if u wanna plot hit that like button and i’ll come to u or u can hit me up on d*scord  ( which i would love tbh bc it’s easier than tumblr ims )  @ the jonas brothers did that#7625.   okay, onto the intro   !

- ̗̀✰ • 【 LEE MINHO, CISMALE, HE/HIM 】 ❝ did you see KIM SEULKI on the train back to hogwarts? they’re a HALF-BREED (VAMPIRE) in their THIRD year as a TWENTY year old RAVENCLAW. apparently they’re the ENIGMA around the grounds; most likely because they give off an aura of DROPLETS OF CRIMSON LIQUID DRIPPING OFF PEARLY WHITE FANGS, FORM FITTING JEANS THAT HUG JUST THE RIGHT SPOTS, HEART SHAPED LIPS CURLING INTO A DEVILISH SMILE, THE FEELING OF A PIANO PLAYING EERILY IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR. of all the social media platforms, they’re definitely most obsessed with their INSTAGRAM; probably because they’re ELOQUENT, but also MANIPULATIVE. however, on the new manifest app in mr. carlos’ english class, they’ve already managed to anonymously steal the username: BLOODLUST. 

ALSO   !   if u want a better look at him, u can check out his pinterest board here  ( follow me too that’d be so sexy of u )   ! 

information.

i’m gonna just do this in bullet points bc i’m lazy and have had a really long week so if it’s choppy.... i am so sorry u are just gonna have to deal w it KMSKSMK

seulki was born in seoul, south korea to a kang insoo, a wizard man, and kim eunbin, a vampire woman, seulki himself being her first born

he doesn’t remember much of his own father, the only image he has of him is his bloodied corpse after his mother ripped his throat out when he was five years old

she was a cruel woman is what he had learned from that moment on

most half-breeds are misunderstood creatures, but the kim line of vampires were the monsters they told u abt in horror stories, the ones that hid under ur bed and took u from ur room in the depths of the night

being descendants of vlad the impaler, yes he really was a vampire!, had death and destruction lacing through their veins, darkness and deceit wrapping around their bodies

growing up, he watched his mother give birth to three more children, all of which were full fledged vampires, unlike himself

at first, he never let it bother him, he was raised up to be a vampire, to let the magic gene within him go dormant. he fed off humans and shed the blood of other’s with the influence of his mother, but even being her puppet was never enough for her

secretly, she had always resented her falling in love with a wizard, a human, someone that wasn’t of their own kind. because she did actually fall in love with him, only to be blindsided by her own family, a powerful clan of vampires pulling who she was and who she had always been out of her

because of the resentment matted in between her bones, the anger and frustration of her family ruining her life, of insoo ruining her life, she began to see the human traits within seulki even more often than not, creating a drift and a barrier between the two of them

seulki was the eldest brother, the one who took it upon himself to help raise them, to protect them, to never let their bright souls be diminished by the thought that they were monsters. they loved him and he loved them, but his mother didn’t like that

she didn’t like how they cared for each other because they cared for each other  more than they cared for her. she was selfish, wanting the love she never was able to receive, wanted to feel smth for all that she didn’t

his mother hadn’t been fond of him for a while, only using him to do her bidding and while him and his siblings got closer and closer, she got angrier, knowing that they were each others’ heartbeats and she wasn’t included in that

so because of her selfish and deranged nature, she wanted to eliminate her younger children to cause torment to seulki. ganging up on the children one night with the intent to kill them, but she didn’t get as far as she wanted to

she severely injured her second oldest, giving a few scratches the the other’s before seulki came in, eyes black and charging towards his mother. it was a bloodbath after that, the two youngest pulling their sister to safety as they called for seulki

their cries and calls snapped him out of his loss of humanity and in front of him was his injured, but not dead mother unconscious. it was then that he took his chance, packing whatever he could that was valuable and fled with his siblings

they spent time spent a long time running, bouncing from city to city more bloodshed falling onto seulki’s hands to protect the only people he held dear to him and he would do anything for them.

he struggled a lot actually with maintaining his humanity as it would slip from time to time due to the trauma even if he had his siblings to tether him down. at some point, seulki, while strong, felt himself getting exhausted from being on the run and it was when they’d found themselves in scotland being found by hagrid of all people offering seulki a place at hogwarts and his siblings a place in his hut

at first, seulki declined, not fully trusting the man with his siblings even though he would be right in the castle near by. but, after some thought and the push of the second oldest, they accepted the offer and seulki’s been attending hogwarts since he was eighteen and his siblings have found a residence with hagrid

tidbits.

he ages like a normal human up until he’s twenty-one when he quits aging and begins the phase of immortality.

seulki can and will drink blood to survive, but if he goes without it it’s not detrimental to him until he quits aging altogether which means he can eat regular food, he actually quite enjoys it.

he has fangs, he can go out into sunlight, but not for an excessive amount of time or he’ll get a rash. seulki does have inhuman speed and strength, but nothing overpowering u know? when he loses his humanity, his eyes go full black and when the vampire takes him over, his eyes are red, and his regular eye color is brown.

losing his humanity means he loses his heartbeat, most of the time either due to losing the things or people that make his heart beat or from intense and severe anger or negative emotions such as the like. though, it can be voluntarily done as well by switching it off  ( kind of like tvd . . . fucking disgusting ). but, seulki being only half-vampire has an easier time, unlike his siblings, to regain his heartbeat back and for his humanity to fluctuate when it’s lost because of his human side. his siblings are his heartbeats actually, so that’s where the intense need to protect them comes from as well as just being their brother.

seulki is a Big Bi   !   loves it fucking all.

he’s not super great at magic since his magic gene was pretty dormant until he came to hogwarts, so he’s pretty much just skirting by at this point.

his siblings mean the world to him, he would do absolutely anything for them and wouldn’t let a single person harm a hair on their heads. but   !   no one knows they exist, though i’m sure if there were special people in his life they might   !

while he sleeps around a lot . . . he’s a secret romantic. he’s always wanted to find love, but it way too terrified of it. 

oh yeah he has a blood kink............ that’s important ig

personality.

seulki is definitely an interesting person. he’s wise and intelligent, having been through a lot in his life. he’s eloquent and good with his words, most would call him honey-tongued because of how he can persuade almost anyone to do what he says. seulki is kind of a dick or well, like a suave dick. he’s charming and flirty, his signature is a smirk and like arms crossed as he leans against a doorway u know? seulki is uh. how do i put this? kind of a whore. he doesn’t tend to care about others which is deep rooted in the fact that he’s never felt real love . . . his own mother hated him to the core. he’s overprotective of the people he cares about and will do absolutely anything for them. he’s an ass if i didn’t mention that before, it’s to protect himself and his siblings from ever being hurt again because he’s so terrified of letting people in for them to just tear him down in the process. he’s guarded and u never know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t show it on his face or let u know. UH I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK............ he’s p manipulative............. uh he cares a lot. but deep down and he doesn’t want ppl to know that........... he’s definitely a Big Brother type when he cares abt u, makes sure u’ve eaten, makes sure ur warm and are comfortable....... yeah idk that’s it i’m done

wanted plots.

A HEARTBEAT   !   — whether platonic or romantic, this would be someone who, just like seulki’s siblings, makes his heart beat thus keeping his humanity in check, they would be a WHOLE, WHOLE lot to him. 

A TUTOR   !   — as i mentioned earlier, seulki isn’t super well versed when it comes to magic, he’s not very good at it and it’s hard for him to navigate sometimes, so having someone to help him get his mf grades up would be lovely !

AN EX   !   — obviously, this didn’t go down well because seulki is terrified of commitment and people getting close to him. it could play out in so many ways, so if it sparks ur interest we can chat !

A ROOMMATE   !   — so which sucker is gonna have to live with the vampire who has a blood kink ?

A BEST FRIEND   !   — obviously this is pretty self explanatory, this would be someone that seulki trusts with probably his life and they mean a lot to him, even if he’s bad at showing it.

LOVE/HATE   !   — bruh give me that good shit. these two can’t stand each other, but because of that it’s formed some sort of fondness where if anyone is messing with the other they’re like who tf are u that’s my job   !

A BAD INFLUENCE / GOOD INFLUENCE   !   — self explantory . . . someone be a good influence for seulki and let him be a bad influence for someone else.

AN UNREQUITED CRUSH   !   — my friend gave me the idea to maybe have someone have a cute little crush on seulki . . . and i was like but that’s SO sad........ then i was like u know what i love pain so here we are........ also could be requited we shall see   !

FUCK BUDDIES, FRIENDS/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS, FLINGS   !   — i’m just getting lazy at this point to explain this shit . . . fuck him, let him fuck u he’s a true vers my friends.

OTHERS   !   — cuddle buddy, old friends, confidant, rivals, skinny love, annoyances, a brother/sister type of relationship, and if there’s anything else we can just vibe   !   tbh we don’t even have to do anything from this list, whatever fits the muses, these are just ideas   !

[fruitbattery]

I saw the MOST amazing production (open dress rehearsal) of falsettos the other night!

It was in a tiny theatre. TINY, black box style, <50 seats. we were RIGHT IN FRONT. it was amazing.

-the set was literally: 6 chairs, 10 boxes, a hospital bed -4 jews started as a sock puppet show from behind the boxes (except for Trina) and then they all popped up as they said their names -(the cast was all so pretty and i am so gay) -their Jason was a college age woman and I believed her wholly, she was so good -at the end of 4 jews, they posed like they were taking a family photo and then marvin got up and started singing tight knit family -for love is blind, marvin and whizzer were in the background reading, marvin was on a chair and whizzer on the floor leaning into him. it was cute.  -the transitions between songs required additional music a lot but that was ok -thrill of first love was??? so good? -whizzer pulled a silly pose at “i was trained in karate” it was great -they yelled the 9/10 months bit and the won’t/don’t bit -the fight choreo happened as whizzer stealing marvin’s scarf and them fighting over it -they ended up on the floor after whizzer pulled marvin in with the scarf and sat on his lap??? which i think is actually better than on the couch but ya know. sightlines are important i guess -can i just reiterate how good jason was like she was SO GOOD -throughout marvin at the psychiatrist, whizzer and trina had super visible but subtle reactions like eye rolling -for “my father’s a homo,” and for a lot of the show, jason sang right at the audience -he jumped on the table it was so cute! -trina’s indicating to whizzer behind jason’s back was NOT SUBTLE AT ALL there was no way the kid didn’t notice that -when the “late for dinner late again” section started, a strip of unexpected disco lights came on!!! it was great -trina belted “and still the bastard divorced me!!!!” and it made my night -I’M BREAKING DOWN WAS SO GOOD -she used the space a lot it was great; she covered the whole stage -she came onstage with a bunch of bananas and i heard someone behind me say “oh no” -she did eat a piece of banana but earlier in the song, before “you ask me is it fun to cry over nothing” -she made eye contact with my friend at “help me!!!!” and she DIED -she crushed pieces of banana in her hands so she had to wipe them on her apron before picking up the phone to call mendel -mendel answered with “yes this is mendel weisenbachfeld” like in the revival! -the disco lights came on for the final section of “feel alright for the rest of your life” -marriage proposal was simple and cute -”this is how you do a marriage proposal” and then jason went “GO” and shoved them together omg. then he ran off -tkf reprise was simple -at this point i am in love with the actress playing trina because she KILLS trina’s song. wow. -march of the falsettos was very jewish! they were all sitting on boxes, with scarves like tallitot, and prayer books covering their faces. simple box switching choreography -trina is wonderful -in the chess game it was SUPER clear that whizzer was mocking marvin in the 2nd verse. -he got up at “more’s the pity” -marvin got his suitcase immediately, then whizzer walked off sadly. he turned around when he was almost out to sing his part of the argument. “whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner” etc -in making a home they put a mezuzah on the door!!!!! !!!!!! -when they sang “yes we love the bed” mendel slapped her ass and she giggled -at the end they each sat down to read and froze for the games i play -omg whizzer was so good!!! -he started the song smiling like he was trying to make light of his situation but got serious fast -he made eye contact with me and i DIED -during marvin hits trina, trina just looked so DONE and ANNOYED during the beginning of i never wanted to love you, mendel was holding her and touched her face where she’d been slapped, and she told him stop, and he stopped. that was nice. -jason was practically screaming during that song and it was so heartbreaking -father to son has everyone crying. i could hear it. at the end, it was only jason who got up, and it looked like he was gonna leave marvin there alone, but then he went for the hug and we started crying more

act 2!!! -ppl laughed a lot at the weird woodwind/chime wiggle thing that happens in the intro music -mendel only had once flashlight and made it look like he was telling a ghost story when he said “homosexuals” which was really funny -PRETTY BOYS ARE IN DEMAND -charlotte and cordelia!!!!! holy fuck they were perfect!  -for the whee! woo! part they were all sitting on blocks. it was trina on mendel’s lap, whizzer, marvin, jason, cordelia on charlotte’s lap -JASON HAD SUCH FUNKY DANCE MOVES FOR YEAR OF THE CHILD -the whole audience knew what the words were it was glorious. i know because they laughed -mendel gave the spiel about how his own bar mitzvah was bad to marvin and trina rather than to jason, like he was convincing them not to have jason do it -during the beginning of miracle of judaism, jason was pulling on baseball clothes over his clothes and packing a backpack to take to a game -at one point he held the bat between his legs like a giant dick and sang “girls with whom i always wake up” -the baseball game!!!! was so similar to the revival version!! staging wise -marvin was SO touchy with whizzer’s hair and trina was so annoyed lmao -the actor playing whizzer had so much hair but they did the bald spot anyway -jason’s actor played caroline instead of cordelia’s, which i guess makes more sense if it works -she got angrier when she said “you always do this” -trina’s workout gear involved a leotard and leg warmers. when she came on people whistled (I think they were her irl friends) -it looked like they used actual gefilte fish for the nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine??? -whizzer was in tiny jean shorts to play tennis. so impractical honestly, all that chafing -instead of marvin collapsing and whizzer standing over him, they got really close to each other and almost kissed like 3 times. shit was cute. -i didn’t realize that in the original script jason wanders onstage during the last overlapping bit of a day in falsettoland and says “you guys are so white” but it was funny -when “i want the appelbaums” started, people laughed in recognition (i tell you boston is full of jews lmao. love it.) -mendel got up on a chair for his imitation of god, and stole the tablecloth to cover his head with -near the end of the song, mendel cleared a space for himself very dramatically, psyched himself up, and did the worst cartwheel i have ever seen. jason then did the same. -for what more can i say, they didn’t have a bed or anything resembling one, so marvin sat at the end of a row of 4 or 5 chairs and whizzer laid across them with his head in marvin’s lap -for the final “what more can i say” whizzer sat up and they gazed into each others’ eyes for a second -hoo boy here comes the pain train -charlotte and cordelia’s dynamic was a+ honestly. -tbh I know every word to this show and something bad is happening was still worrying and terrifying -in more raquetball, marvin was getting SUPER cocky. and then it all just went away when wizzer fell. heartbreaking. -in between something bad and holding to the ground, marvin helped whizzer over to dr charlotte and you could see him nonverbally insisting he was fine before collapsing onto her shoulder and allowing himself to be led away -trina’s performance in holding to the ground was phenomenal. so much emotion. marvelous and amazing. -i swear i heard sobs as the hospital bed came on -there was real chicken soup in cordelia’s tupperware!!! -jason set up the chess board fully after climbing onto the bed with whizzer, he then just packed it right back up again -mendel and trina in cancelling the bar mitzvah was just. lovely. and fucking sad too -unlikely lovers was SO TENDER i swear -when the lesbians showed up, marvin and whizzer were sitting there with their foreheads touching and marvin was almost in whizzer’s lap which was kind of an inversion??? idk it was great -just pure love -jason was so cute and innocent during another miracle. it was much needed. -then holy fuck -dr charlotte pulled marvin away for something bad reprise and she was crying. full on. she hit all the words and notes but shit. it got to me. -ok so you gotta die sometime is one of my favorite songs of all time. certainly my fave solo song to sing myself. -he nailed it. he was just so callous at the beginning morphing to fucking terrified at the end. it looked like if jason had come one second later he would’ve given up and died. -but there was a gap between it and the beginning of jason’s bar mitzvah still which was completely silent. pin drop silent. it was interesting -jason came in already in a suit -at “mendel get this thing in gear” the bed was rolled off and didn’t come back which must’ve been convenient -at “oh mummy” they actually kissed for a few seconds and trina looked,,, unamused -they all wore white kippot -at the end. oh god. -jason finished his torah and whizzer almost collapsed. mendel caught him. and jason just started sobbing. silently, but think harry-potter-after-sirius-fell-through-the-veil levels of despair. fuck it was sad. trina took him away. -the cast cleared the stage during the beginning of what would i do, but they left the “table” made of blocks that jason read torah on -marvin forgot the words so he substituted “once i was told that all men get what they deserve” for “god only knows too soon i’ll remember your faults” but it was ok -i swear the whole theatre started crying 2x as much when whizzer came out dressed like he had been -they circled each other unable to touch a few times. it killed me. -at the end, marvin put a rose that trina brought him on the table, now clearly a gravestone. then he cried into his family.  -jason was on stage after everyone had left. i knew about the chess piece but he also kissed his hand and touched the grave which is??? so jewish??? and so touching??? idk but it was terrible and horrible and ripped my heart out of its socket -after the final piano faded out you could hear how many people were sniffling.

in conclusion this was a monumental experience. we got to see backstage after because the music director, who invited us, is also the music director for our school’s musicals (fiddler this year!) i met the actress who played cordelia and she said she could tell i knew the show which probably meant i was unconsciously mouthing the words despite my best efforts not to.

ok thanks for reading this word vomit that my adhd detail oriented brain poured out.

[daydreamrry]

https://hoochy-coo.tumblr.com/post/658016406962618368/truly-tho-ppl-who-are-like-well-this-is-harry

it’s so sad that most people think so low of him. Idk what kind of experiences they had with guys, but to think that every guy his age (and younger) just thinks with their dick makes me really mad. Like sure lots of young guys are probably like that but I hate these bias and just bc Harry is young, attractive and rich doesn’t mean he bangs everything that breathes near him. Some guys (and I include Harry in this) still have morals and don’t go only for looks. Sure his public „relationships“ were all kinda the same but I still believe that most of these weren’t real but more for easy promo. Think of me what you want and call me naive but I personally think that Harry kinda needs a connection with someone before going any further. He doesn’t strike me as the one night stand type of guy and also not for someone who has casual sex all the time...

i honestly hate it when people say things like this. it’s really unfair for us to judge when we don’t know him personally. i, too, think he’s a good guy and needs to have a genuine connection with someone, and i hope he does find that person (outside of L.A).

[sanjuno]

It’s another gods-be-damned Time Travel Concept Fic

Yeah so I’m calling this one A Widening Gyre because I’m not at all pretentious. XP

IN FAIR KONOHA WE SET OUR SCENE

Rin was a jinchuriki and we all know that those people don’t die easy, so she totes survives the chidori to the chest. The need to heal from near-death let Obito have his dramatic breakdown in the rain over her (not-quite) dead body plus gave Minato enough wiggle room to fix the faults and traps in Rin’s seal.

Rin was declared KIA though, and her survival was classified to protect her from Kiri trying to get the Sanbi back and also to keep the Elder Council from fucking with her. “Turtle” joins ANBU under the command of “Wolf” and they are the scariest dual act ANBU has seen for a long time. Like, holy shit. Then “Tiger” joins their team right after “Wolf” gets his Captain promotion, and the addition of Mokuton is frankly ridiculous. Then “Crow” joins the team right as Kushina announces her pregnancy and this is just. They are all approx. 4 feet tall and the most terrifying ANBU team Konoha has and no one knows how to deal with this. (There are rumours about an ANBU trainee going by “Raven” and FFS T&I isn’t paid enough to deal with this nonsense.)

Obito is a sensor (natural or trained IDK but he has that skill set) and he gets sidetracked on his way to Naruto’s birth b/c “That’s... that’s Rin.” Things happen, reunion of the Team plus “You’re alive!” drama is interrupted by Danzo being a giant bag of dicks, ROOT shenanigans ensue because Kinoe is also “Tiger” and KakaRin are possessive little shits. To say nothing of how Shisui reacts to the idea of someone being more important to his teammate than him. (Fucking Uchiha drama queens I swear...)

This is all taking place while Kushina is in labour BTW. WTF people how are you fitting this many feels into less than 12 hours I am impressed by this. Danzo was expecting Zetsu and “Madara” to back him up r.e. disposing Minato and getting the Kyuubi shoved in a more manageable host but Obito is la~ate and also KakaRin have v. strong grips, like wow do you work out?

Kakashi and his-name-is-Tenzo-now’s weird bromance drama comes to a climax when Danzo is chased back to his HQ by the Hokage’s v. pissed off guard team. (Hi Genma and Raido welcome to the madness.)

So it turns out that Danzo took over Tobirama’s old lab as ROOT’s main base but missed a few experiments pretending to be part of the security system. Oops. So Kamui plus experimental seals plus the Hiraishin markers carried by Genma and Raido and Kakashi plus an attempt to interfere with Rin’s containment seal means it all goes BOOM

Upside: Kyuubi stays sealed.

Downside: Sanbi goes on a rampage instead.

This is the last we see of the future Konoha timeline kthnksbye~eee...

NEW SCENE SETTING: THE WARRING CLANS ERA

Rin is out of it b/c Sanbi was forcibly removed from her chakra coils

Upside: She gets to keep a larger reserve of chakra than what she was born with naturally, keeps a few of the jinchuriki perks like rapid healing, and her chakra control is back to medic-inn levels for the first time in almost 2 years!

Downside: Motherfucking ow.

Rin is down, therefore Danzo did something to her so KakaObi don’t hesitate in aiming to kill. Genma and Raido trust Kakashi and back him up but oh look Danzo has stolen sharingan eyes implanted in a creepy zombie arm oh very shit forever.

EPIC SHOWDOWN!! FIGHT!!

KakaObi are scary AF and also apparently share a brain. Danzo is made v. dead before they even realize that they’ve been shot-put through time as well as space. But leftover Zetsu shit/heart seal is triggered when Danzo tries to not die but Kakashi gets in the way b/c he’s not losing Obito again. MAGIC NINJA DEATH CURSE NO JUTSU idk I’ll figure out the details later but OH NO Kakashi is poisoned and Obito is distraught b/c Kakashi just jumped on the sword for Obito again this is not a theme Obito likes to see reoccur fuck you universe.

The antidote only grows along the seashore so ANBU Team Baby Genii Ne minus Wolf do a suicide run to Wave Country and back.

Without Danzo around Kakashi, at 14 years of age, is the highest ranked Leaf Shinobi. ROOT proceeds to imprint like ducklings.

Shit friends I just realized that Kabuto is still in ROOT at this point excellent now Genma can be the poison specialist and Kabuto can be the baby medic and they can work together to keep Kakashi alive while Obito threatens to kill everything (except Rin) if Kakashi dies.

Alrighty fuck it let’s make it a party. Anko’s there too b/c she followed the mayhem b/c she knows that Danzo had something to do with Orochimaru’s defection but her Curse Seal gets the same yoink treatment as Rin’s Bijuu Seal and now Anko’s 100% doing the deputy thing while Raido arranges the patrols. (Radio may not have the highest rank in their group but he is the oldest so that’ll have to do)

Tiny baby Sai and Shin are the cutest murder babies aww... (Also get to indulge my HC that newborn Uchiha have red eyes instead of blue so Itachi and Shisui know from the get-go that Sai is an Uchiha.)

Speaking of murder babies Itachi is trying v. hard not to think about never seeing Sasuke or his parents again. (FFS Itachi is the only one of these jackasses to canonically have living parents at this point in the TL. Except Rin but TBH she’s been pretending to be dead for the last 2 years so I don’t think she counts anymore.) Itachi is going to latch onto Sai so hard as a replacement baby bro omg Itachi stahp

War interruptus via Kakashi’s ANBU team plus All The Baby ROOT Agents. This will be fun!

Team Ne is gonna bulldoze through a Senju patrol on their way out to the shore. Tobirama was not expecting a hostile Mokuton user to defend a couple of Uchiha and also the girl they were with broke a tree with her fist and then it melted. Toka definitely saves Tobirama’s pasty ass b/c his instincts forget to dodge IRT Mokuton jutsu.

Team Ne is also going to trip over an Uchiha patrol and Itachi is high-key going to not!cry b/c Izuna looks hella like Mikoto/Sasuke and Itachi misses them. Shisui does a lot of high velocity absconding with his teammates come on ppl keep running pls. Izuna is so confused by tiny Uchiha not knowing who he is and running around with some random not!Uchiha WTH?

For max drama Team Ne will blast through a big battle, interrupt Hashirama and Madara’s posturing, accidentally save Izuna’s life (thanks, Shisui) and then bravely run away without ever slowing down. Senju and Uchiha call truce while they figure out WTF is up with those kids and track them down.

This team-up thing does give both sides a chance to see the “Hashirama And Madara Show” up close. Madara lovingly and eloquently details all the many and varied ways Hashirama is an idiot (it sounds an awful lot like Tobirama’s most uncharitable thoughts re. his brother. Only blunter.) Hashirama just laughs and agrees with Madara WTF Anija? The Hashirama does his best to hug Madara to death b/c they are apparently the cuddling type of sworn enemies (Izuna is horrified and so offended. He’s the only one allowed to snuggle the grumps out of Madara!) Izuna and Tobirama are the world’s most resentful team-up ever but they’re doing their v. best to keep their older bros apart b/c no, Anija, just no.

They find the Konoha camp b/c Tobirama is a stupidly strong sensor and Hashirama can tell where the trees got bent by Mokuton. They were not expecting to find nothing but children. Raido is the oldest and he’s only like 19-ish I think? Plus ROOT kiddos are suu~uuper creepy-tactic omg.

NOW BACK IT UP A LITTLE!!

SR timeskip mostly consists of Kakashi escaping his medic, making Obito panic, and bonding with the ROOT minions (this involves a lot of spitting on Danzo’s grave TBH. They all find it v. therapeutic.) The worst of the poison’s effects are being mitigated by Genma’s antidotes and Kabuto’s treatments but that’s just a delaying tactic to prevent total system shutdown so Team Ne really needed to hurry the fuck up.

Obito is A Mess b/c Zetsu/Danzo were just using him to hit Kakashi (just like the Iwa-nin who took Kakashi’s eye and you know that means something more to an Uchiha than the standard shinobi but Obito can't fix the poison damage from progressing though spontaneous organ donation.) Kakashi keeps Obito distracted and busy growing a fortified encampment for all his adorable new minions. Genma and Raido are just glad not to have the terrifying Uchiha powerhouse threatening to turn them inside out every 10 minutes thanks muchly.

Captain Wolf has already managed to take over as the focus of the ROOT agent’s personality cult. Obito is now the leading member of the Kakashi fan club (b/c Tenzo is off on the SR at the time, nat.) Genma and Raido are Concerned b/c Kakashi hasn’t been emotionally stable since he was 6 y/o there’s no way him being a role model for 100 brainwashed baby assassins will end well.

Anko thinks everything is hysterical and she’s so glad she stuck her nose in where it wasn’t wanted this is better than Icha Icha. Izumi’s just happy someone got her away from Danzo before he could fuck up her head/mess with her eyes too much. (This was the most horrible side effect of her betrothal to Itachi being announced how did Danzo even get her out of the compound FFS?)

11th hour arrival by Team Ne with the antidote means Rin, Genma, Kabuto, Obito, and Tenzo are all v. busy when the Uchiha/Senju combo team find the Konoha camp.

So then Kakashi wakes up after being cured and there’s more weirdness b/c Obito has both his eyes but Kakashi’s left eye is still red and works like a Sharingan but it isn’t a sharingan obvs. but they still share a field of vision and Obito’s left eye is silver when the sharingan is turned off and Rin is 100% done with both of them defying medical convention. There is a lot of head scratching and pointing of fingers before they hug it out is what I’m saying.

Team Ne thinks this is adorable and super romantic and the entire camp ships it so hard you have no idea. I might make this Rin Demi-Ace b/c then her crush on 9 y/o Kakashi when she’s 13 is much more understandable. (A squish just fits better to the situation IMHO.) Also ace!Rin would 100% be the one to join forces with bb!Kabuto to create (recreate? precreate?) Orochimaru’s test-tube-baby no jutsu in the WCE.

SRTS IS DONE NOW YAY NOW TO FUCK WITH THE FOUNDERS

Raido is A Wall and he never anticipated using his ANBU training to waylay the 1st and 2nd Hokage WTF is even his life but Teamwork! and TWOF means Standing Strong even if Uchiha Madara is Scary AF wow and Raido thought seeing Fugaku-dono walk into a room was bad.

Kakashi is cured (yay!) and also gets to arrive dramatically on the scene of confrontation and verbally bitchslap everyone into calming TF down b/c I Have A Headache And I’m Tired Of Your Shit. Rabidly overprotective ObiRin are rabid and overprotective. Also Obito is super Uncanny Valley b/c he looks just like Madara and Tobirama is busy having a heart attack b/c this “Captain” person has Itama’s eyes (red and grey) and Tenzo has Mokuton and is maybe reminding him too much of Kawarama and also Itachi has the same grump lines as Madara and Shisui has Izuna’s smile.

Yeah so everyone from the WCE is pretty much convinced that their “dead” siblings were kidnapped instead and the large number of Clan children Danzo kidnapped for ROOT doesn’t actually do much except convince them they’re right. Kakashi OFC decides to play along WTF you giant troll and what the Captain says goes so the tiny minions aren’t arguing and Genma’s like FFS it’s the WCE I want to live agree with the terrifying figures of legend already you idiots.

Note that at this point Obito is still gaslighted to believe that Madara wants world peace and no wars ever and irony at it’s best is that this iteration of Madara is still at the point in his life where he actually does still have solid moral objections to children dying b/c their Clan Leaders can’t keep a fucking peace treaty. So yeah.

Tobirama and Madara are in raptures over their “little brothers” still being alive and also found. Obito is v. affectionate b/c he “remembers” Madara. Shisui is also super cuddly. Itachi mostly just stares and is confused by human interaction. Kakashi is Fierce and nearly feral and makes Hashirama cry a bit and Tobirama is So Mad b/c Itama was a gentle boy what happened and Tenzo was Kinoe until literally just last week and he’s v. much not the happy kid Kawarama was.

So much jealousy when Kakashi lets Obito cuddle him. Kakashi Ignores Them and just keeps commanding everyone around while being princess carried by the homicidal Uchiha. Which... Obito having Mouton confuses the Senju team so much but Hashirama is so excited b/c Tenzo (”Kawarama!” / “My name is Tenzo, Senju-dono.”) has Mokuton too and now he has people to practice with!

So that whole thing where the Senju and the Uchiha HATE each other b/c dead kids gets massively derailed like whoa b/c look they’re alive and also someone else has been playing silly buggers to make all the Clans keep doing the War Things so. So the Senju and the Uchiha still don’t like each other much but they hate ROOT more. Zetsu circa. WCE finds it 111% impossible to manipulate things from behind the scenes b/c They’re On To Him.

So Konoha gets founded like 10 to 15 years earlier than in canon b/c none of the Konoha-nin are willing to leave their Captain and also strength in numbers b/c someone’s been stealing our babies is really up there so far as motivation to maintain cordial relations with other Ninja Clans goes. Other Clans joining Konoha happens both faster and with more issues b/c ROOT kids are many things but normally socialized is not one of them.

Do I hate Kakashi enough to make him Shodaime? TBH it’d be hella funny and the other Nations Are Not Prepared for trolling on Kakashi’s level even if it’s just baby troll Kakashi.

POLITICS and ninja diplomacy ensue.

TBH I just wanna see Tobirama slam Madara up against a wall and fuck him crosseyed. Hashirama was Not Emotionally Prepared to realize that his little brothers and their libidos were already acquainted. Izuna decides that Itachi is his favourite b/c Itachi’s the only one not fucking a Senju. (Joke’s on him though b/c both polyamory and Senju Toka are things that exist.)

Endgame is for TobiMada, ObiKakaRin, ShiTen, MitoHashi, TokaIzuKanna (Kanna is my OC stand-in for Izuna’s unnamed canonical wife), ItaIzumi, GenRai. Not sure that it’s much important b/c Romance not really a major plot point and also Kakashi is 14 y/o through this whole thing but also ninja mature quick so maybe it’s more important that I think it’s gonna be? I dunno whatevs guys that’s all I’ve got except for maybe some timestamps later.

TA DAH THE END!!

Anyway yeah, I needed to get this written down somewhere b/c it would not Leave Me Alone while I was trying to write other things. 

[thethrillof]

Oh, we haven't done this in a while... "The Batman" coffeeshop AU?

i’ve only read like three of those ever so i might be doing this wrong or nonsensically but Fuck It

also i had a bit drafted before but i decided they weren’t right and redid ‘em and it got. really long. i should have anticipated this

bruce is still a rich fella, and has his trauma–the awful mugging and shooting happened, but martha survived (b/c fuck it, let’s allow the woman to not die for fuckin once yanno) so the kid kept within what ppl would call “reasonable” perimeters. still interested in law and stopping shit like that happening again, but he’s not half-killing himself through training.

 the coffee shop was just supposed to be kind of a. chill project i guess? giving teen brucie a bit of business sense but also not slamming him with the responsibility of a big company, as well as connecting him with people a little bit, since he def still withdrew from just about everyone outside the wayne household for a long time.

ethan’s a part-time barista. he’s still a pal of bruce’s, same teen-y age, one of his first after his withdrawing. he’s saving up extra for college, though he’s has a p good scholarship. mutual interest in law means they’re usually found working on their detective skills together after hours.

alfred works there as a manager. he does p well and serves as the face of the place to outsiders–i don’t think wayne industries was quite as big in this ‘verse so bruce got less attention, but he’s still relatively well known in gotham and it’d be better to not have reporters or random ppl who think he’s cute popping up out of the blue.

not that the latter never happens! that’s how miss pamela isley and barbara gordon popped in (they’re def closer in age here), though neither were actually into him–barb does think he’s attractive, but he’s a bit too weird for her to want to peruse at first, and after she gets to know him he’s too serious and brotherly for that to become a thing. pam just wanted to be completely sure he got his ingredients from better places than the huge chains chose and recycled.

eventually pam gets pissed off enough about one of the other companies of gotham that apparently help supply some things for the shop that she nearly scalds bruce and barbara when the former comes over to calm her down when the latter can’t manage it. just fuckin grabs a fresh brew and swings it. she’s not allowed there again for like a year, and that def strains her relationship w/ barbara. though she and bruce end up in a weird friendship because of it and she eventually gets hired to work there.

there’s a guy who shows up whenever the fuck he wants. weirdass times. the place is open p early and closes late, and sometimes he’s waiting there an hour before the sign flips in the morning, sometimes he shows up two minutes before closing time (and has been locked out a few times on purpose. why not close early? aka, fuck this guy, he doesn’t even have a predictable order they can prepare in advance just in case). the name he offers to be written on his cup is “joker”, and eventually bruce scribbles a jester on the side once and that just kinda sticks.

this joker guy has a lot of jobs, apparently? he’s spotted around the city p often. a comedian on stand-up nights, drawing a sizable crowd. paints and sculpts and talks about working on animation. apparently can sing, hangs out near the concert hall a lot b/c he can’t always pay for tickets and harasses the hell out of the opera cast. 

…also a drug dealer who makes his own hallucinogen! bruce and ethan work out the dealing bit pretty early on, but it’s hard to get the police to pay them any attention. they keep a careful eye on him whenever he comes by.

ellen yin moves from metropolis b/c she’s college age and gotham u is actually pretty good. she studies there and ends up being sort of impressed how hard ethan and bruce work on their own studies even though they’re not even out of high school. a strange study group results, and she straight-up gets her own keys to the shop eventually from alfred so the boys don’t need to let her in every single time.

selina kyle’s a regular. everyone’s a little wary due to poison pamela’s meltdown once she starts talking about protecting the environment, but she’s a lot more chill and works with the shop to make it more eco-friendly. she also sometimes shows up with a cat on a gem-studded harness (they’re. probably fake jewels. they gotta be fake jewels who would even do that) and orders some lactose-free milk and lets the kitty sit next to her at the table, and they just sort of let her. why not.

ozzie cobblepot works at a rival café. he’s not quite at the top and the place is failing anyway. when he stops by the coffee shop he tends to ask for the manager every. single. time he’s in there and wastes tons of alfred’s time ranting about non-issues and pretending he’s important b/c he wears a suit.

he definitely just steals shit. just walks by and picks up other customers’ drinks or reaches into purses and backpacks if they’re not paying attention. has been caught a ton of times but again, the gotham police force is garbage and never really bothers trying to go after him in the first place.

in general, everyone has to deal with shit themselves. Police Are Useless.

–except for jim gordon, but he’s only one man and he has a lot on his plate. just a cop, not a commissioner. barbara is incredibly proud of him anyway and will defend him to the point of blows.

in fact, barbara becomes security once she’s older enough. while it’s not being a cop, it’s not super safe. so she never tells her dad about her change of role. she does still help making coffee, so she can say she’s a barista.

dick grayson and fam move to gotham late after the first year. the was an “accident” and now his father doesn’t have the use of his legs. lil robin just started stopping by first b/c they had cheap patries both of his parents enjoyed–life is stressful, they take all the small joys they can manage–and ends up hanging out a lot more, with or without his parents, once he bonds with bruce about trauma at a young age.

it’s a coffee shop, and yin isn’t the only uni student that falls into the place. edward nygma is one of the ones who shows up near closing time and order a pair of the most caffeinated drinks they’ve got, sometimes extending the closing time with his stupid riddles, but it’s better-received than when joker does it. he’s genuinely fun to match wits with and/or watch him and bruce get into flinging riddles back and forth at each other, though whenever bruce wins he gets pissy and sulks off for a while, only to return and pretend it never happened a week later.

eventually he just kind of disappears for a long time, and nobody thinks a ton of it until yin discovers he was kicked out and an incident with the uni prez had to do with him, and the Detective Study Group go to check it out b/c the details the university students got were pretty vague; when they track him down he was in the process of trying to shove chuck gorman off a pier and when he’s nearly stopped by the group edward just. tackles gorman into the ocean and they nearly both drown. luckily all of the study group are great swimmers and manage to rescue them both. (yes, mouth-to-mouth on edward happens. no, there’s nothing sexy about it. that shit is actually really gross u know, in general, and everyone is kind of shaken from seeing one of the more common customers trying to commit a murder-suicide!)

the ambulances are better at getting places than the cop cars so neither of them die. edward ends up in the psych ward for a while and is incredibly surprised when he gets visited by the study group…and they kind of wreck the already-fragile arrogant revenge-centric persona he’d been building up with their further investigating and the Reveal. but that they actually bothered to figure out what happened and not leaving him entirely alone has an impact.

uh. i am v tired and also went four times over the limit there so! i’m going to stop there! 

[frutee]

ok my dream last night we’re not going to talk about how i fucked a gorilla but!

 i wanted to watch this yaoi movie i heard of and it was a chinese anime movie and the bottom looked like me so i wanted to watch it (he had long red-brown hair he kept in a ponytail) and i was playing the intro on the tv at home to see if i would like it and then my family started watching it and i didn’t want them to see it cause i was pretty sure it had explicit sex scenes and i was embarrassed but i left after the intro and i guess they continued to watch it but i think i went to sleep and then i was in the movie and i had a 4th little sister and she like was going thru the forest or something and found this old modern estate (it was ugly because it was old modern- so like picture geometric sculpture structures made out of large rock gravel) and it was that we found the most elusive genius artist in the world and we were just chillin around the property then this old guy comes out who looks like on of my dads friends and my dad is laying on a bench resting and the old guy comes out surprised that ppl found him bc he’s been isolated for a while (except for the school he runs) and he said something to my dad and it was exactly my dads humor cause they were the same age and old white ppl u know? well they hit it off immediately and started talking and stuff and i got to roam the inside of the estate which was wayyyy more cool and modern inside- it was like wide expanse open space smooth white floors and walls- but also other areas made out of wood decks but still nice ugh idk how to explain ittt we were walking around on pointed toe. like having fun like ballerinas— bringing femininity to an old mans life which is like a gift (like being a girl near an old man is a gift- unfortunately :( its just like what i’ve observed in the world u know). his house was kinda like an exploratorium but also with lots of sculptures that made up the house- like there was one sculpture that was like wavey— sheets and huge made of black marble and u had to find ur way thru very particular cracks where the waves interacted. and there were gorillas and a school for gifted children (and the few teachers that led it probs his décuplés) i wanted to go to the aquarium part but then i think the dream shifted and i was back in my home and i smoked a bit and wanted to masturbate so i went to my living room for some reason and sat on a chair by the window and started jerking of my cock but it would phase between being a dildo and my actual dick connected to my body but i didn’t notice in the dream- rmemebered my fam was home and i was like what are u doing???? went back to my room- put the dildo away- went to the kitchen- got a pancake and some apple juice- went to the family room and saw the movie was over- my family said it was a beautiful movie (aparently it was just like a great movie as luck would have it) but i was worried about them watching it cause like my gay. but it was just a dream

so