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#:| man. birthdays suck lol
trvelyans-archive · 2 years
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just drank the worst iced coffee i’ve ever had in my life. happy birthday indeed
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raiiny-bay · 24 days
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some things i never finished
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months
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masato's Super Serum bullshit is still wack to me but i hope it wears out while he and daigo are tryna get nasty in the back of a hot topic and now daigo has to carry him out and daigo's being supportive and just tryna be helpful and nice but masato's acting like a damp cat three seconds away from murder the entire time
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akkivee · 4 months
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stage bb ramblings to help my copium lmao:
i love akira-san he’s such a good fit for ichiro 😭😭😭😭
that final stage leaders get together where alan-san revealed their early days of friendship was pretty awkward in part because akira-san wasn’t very chatty with him, but akira-san and jiro’s stage actor getting along pretty much instantly is so ichiro coded LOL
him being an older brother with a mole underneath his eye like comE ON MAN 😭😭😭
since akira-san is a rapper his flow as ichiro is literally insane lol he can also show up to the block party and break dance that’s pretty cool lol
my favourite stage bb thing is their rep live skit where after panicking that he’s still got too much yung thug in him to make a good impression on saburo’s (metaphorical) girlfriend, the princess of aoyama division, he forces jiro to pretend he’s said gf for introduction practice and saburo cries because his brothers are stupid lol
but the moment i always think about is how during stage bb vs dh, they showed ichiro finding out rei’s on sasara’s team, something i’ve always wanted to see canon ichiro react to. and akira-san’s portrayal, the bits of hurt and gutted surprise in his ‘…….he’s on your team?’, and watching him put up his walls and answering sasara’s, ‘how do you know who rei is?’ with silence *clenches fist* is everything i could have ever asked for
much like his seiyuu, jiro’s stage actor is my favourite person in bb to look at LOL
matsuda-san’s smile, his jiro bleps, that long neck of his 😩👌
i firmly believe jiro and saburo will be taller than ichiro once they’re fully grown and thankfully i get a taste of that since matsuda-san is taller than akira-san lol
and!!!!!! i love how aggressive his jiro voice gets!!!!!!! jiro sometimes calls himself a guard dog and tbh i hear it when stage jiro is on the offensive!!!!!!
if you love jiro, you’ll love the character development he goes thru in the 2nd drb arc and matsuda-san was chomping at the bit to act it. maybe that’s the bare minimum but it makes me happy he loves jiro like that to be excited for his growth ;w;
both jiro actors find it absolutely hilarious that their ichiro actors trip over their words all the damn time and it’s so funny to see matsuda-san trying to stay in character while he’s laughing at akira-san lmao
he and saburo’s first stage actor had a really good bantering siblings dynamic when in character, like their adlibs were so in character lol
when akishima-san dropped the role tho, ryuunosuke-san’s saburo wasn’t quite as bratty and it showed in their first fanservice adlib session after their first show together. i just think it’s really sweet matsuda-san adjusted his jiro to butt heads less and to be more encouraging towards ryuunosuke-san’s saburo 😭😭😭
akishima-san’s bratty asf saburo is my preferred saburo tbh but that’s bc i prefer a meaner saburo lmao
whenever he was taunting jiro, he did this jeering little shimmy motion i thought was odd but cute lol
saburo is a haughty asf little 14 year old, and i think akishima-san’s saburo encapsulated that perfectly, but underneath that bravado is a boy with a lot of anxieties, and i think ryuunosuke-san’s saburo showcased that well ;w;
like if i had to classify what ryuunosuke-san’s saburo was amongst all the other versions of saburo out there, he would be the most baby saburo of them all lmao he stands in front of the crowd so politely and he’s a little shy and even cries when he’s overstimulated (by too much dumbassery in his proximity LOL)
i’ll never forget during that final encore of bop 2023, ichiro and jiro started freestyling and once the relay made it to saburo, tho his flow wasn’t as strong as his brothers, he still had a gave his verse and his brothers cheered him on it was so cute they’re the buster bros y’all 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️
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marsixm · 3 months
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things id be doing if i was less of a coward rn: >impersonating a lawyer to tell a crooked businessman who stole from a mentally disabled man to go fuck himself (professionally) >pulling an uno reverse on the completely insane private eye i caught taking creeper pics of me >making more plans with my friends idk im already doing that though >making tiktoks
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qeyond · 1 year
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Noooo it's not the sketch books I thought they were :((( they're probably still at my parents house ugh
But I did have one of my drafting sketch books for my wammys house au.... Absolutely weird names going on here but go off. That's part of the death note flavor for real tho
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secretagent9 · 1 year
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need to get my MiA thoughts out somewhere because i’ve been thinking about it again and i have so few people to discuss it with (read: my singular friend who’s already heard my impassioned mini-rants after we finished watching the most recent season together).
children! they’re weak and fragile and completely and utterly powerless, and yet they’re also full of so much inner strength that they can overcome practically anything! perfectly exemplified by how riko and co. have managed to not only survive, but also continue on their journey despite the overwhelming odds stacked against them! riko’s unflinching optimism in the face of unspeakable horrors! reg’s enduring kindness and empathy! nanachi’s wit and resourcefulness! these three have made it further than hundreds of maybe thousands of people from all around the world, and they’re all like 10-12 years old!! probably. i’m not actually sure; i could look it up but i’m always afraid of googling MiA and getting spoiled somehow ahsdjakl
i mean, just going into the abyss is a death sentence in and of itself. the abyss being this strange, beautiful world that ultimately doesn’t give two shits about the fact that they’re children, because nothing does! being young doesn’t protect them! people look at them and pity them but won’t shield them from the horrors of the world because they’re unavoidable! especially for children! because this is a world that values children as a resource, one that’s as precious as it is fairly easy to come by! because cave raiders keep heading into the abyss and dying and leaving their children behind with nothing to do but follow in their footsteps! because the abyss is just filled to bursting with all sorts of wonderful treasures and children are taught to risk their lives to get their hands on as much as they can! for money and fame and glory!
they’re taken advantage of! in so many ways! by the adults that are supposed to be caring for them and protecting them! because they’re not seen as people, they’re seen as things, to be used and gotten rid of when they’re no longer useful! only there’s always a use for them because they’re so expendable and because people value them so much and yet so little that you’ve got guys like bondrewd going around, scooping up as many orphans as he can carry to take them down into the abyss and experiment on them as much as he damn well pleases! even though, in his own twisted way, he actually cares for those children, he’s still using them for his own selfish gain.
and children have so much untapped potential! they’re the only ones that can use those special-grade relics; those “cradles of desire” will only grant their wishes, but it grants them in the worst possible ways! because how deeply might a child understand their own wants, their own desires? especially when they’re dealing with forces that no one truly understands?
children are as blessed as they are cursed! just by virtue of being children! in a world that won’t show them a single ounce of mercy! a world that robs them of every scrap of innocence they have! but that innocence doubles as a well of power that’s unlike any other! a great and terrible power!!
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i lied so hard on that old post of ppl saying they'd never been through this before and asking if it gets better and i talked about edd and said it does get better. i was 11 and did not process what happened and moved on and thought that i had "accepted it," now im 21 and actually realize what's going on and it is NOT getting better
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#tw death#chat#this SUCKS man. WHY DOES IT KEEP GETTING *WORSE*#it would help if literally anything normal could happen in my life for like. 3 days. that's all i need#did yall hear about the spill in ohio. it got in the ohio river. so now our water is being monitored#gas leak where my uncle lives. so bad the entire stretch of road is closed#got like 3 people dead 1 in the hospital and literally no one will give me updates on her#im DESPERATELY trying to graduate between all this and im job shadowing under a freak of a man and he kinda scares me#ever since my dog died i have been on a downhill spiral man#scooter died a while back btw. i just didnt say anything bc i didnt wanna make ppl sad#it was cancer...#i am trying to climb back up this hill i've been thrown down im really trying this time but people keep throwing rocks at me JKFHSDG#''stay positive'' i say covered in blood#anyways my birthday is in less than a month. cool#at least i didnt have to be home for the super bowl for the first time ever. absolute god send#also i've caught like 6 shinies in the past couple days. FOUR OF THEM were full odds and also back to back. wack#finally got my shiny bronzor i love bronzor have i ever told you guys that. he is JUST a circle#h#vent#idk how to tag this i just dont wanna throw it in ppl's faces on what should be a kinda nice day lol#but i wanna say it eventually bc i've held back for too long#and now im worried abt ppl back home bc im stuck at the dorm and i have a test and a paper due soon#i need a BREAK. not spring break. i need a BREAK break. i need to grab everyone and go to the beach or something#or just. stay in a nice hotel for a day or two. waste some money#drive everyone to falcon overlook or something so they can see the hills like i did#fun road to drive it's all bendy hehe
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spadefish · 1 year
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i thought i was gonna be sad about valentines day since this is the first one since getting divorced, but honestly my ex-husband hated vday and always made it a point to be annoyed about it and make me feel bad about wanting to do anything for it so honestly it feels kind of nice to just look at cute pink stuff and hearts and not worry about it
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sallytwo · 1 year
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doug eiffel and lucas nee d 2 fight over who had the worst christmas adjacent birthday i would give it to dear dougie boy but also Lucas Was Like 16 For That so i guess that’s points in hisfavor
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astrxealis · 2 years
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vcing w my friends rn but i kinda just muted and stopped watching and talking now bcs. :”)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#cw vvent#tw vent#i think there are just some differences that i. i really don't like?#dbgshbghddbhjg in the way that idk man but we're watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs (rewatching!)#and i'm not really a fan of how thy say they prefer the girl w her hair down and no glasses when yk. that's not really who she is#and how they're like . when she looked at the exit for a sec. they went 'yeah lol i wouldn't want to hang out w a lunatic too'#and ig it kinda sucks bcs i see the main guy as on the spectrum ?? aspie maybe ??? and ofc i'm still wondering if i am in fact#on the spectrum as well but at the very least i know how it feels like to be a weirdo and thank god i wasn't bullied or anything#but i can understand and somewhat empathize/sympathize on how it would feel and. i think my friends are just joking around#but i don't really like it but i'm scared to tell them that so i just kinda went away. this usually happens w vcs w them tbh#and ik it's my bday tmrw and they're doing this for me and lune and i kinda made it obvious idk what to do#and yeah i'm kinda fine w whatever but i think it's mostly that. there are things i actually want to do but. idk#i'm not used to opening up or asking things from others or being truthful with my real feelings deep down bcs i bottle it up sm#even if it's not obvious ;; so yeah. don't want the evening b4 my bday to be bad bcs plans already got cancelled#and idm tbh but it's still. saddening yk. so. yeah. i'll just chill or something!#it'll be my birthday but it feels like friends taking advantage of the fact it's a celebration of sorts to do what they want ig#even if i know that's not what they want to do or mean to do it comes off that way to me?#so uh. idk man. whatever i guess ^^;#have a feeling this'll be my worst bday so far tbh ... i'm trying to not be negative bcs even so#i think even if bad things happen the day doesn't have to be a bad one!#but. wbahjg. i don't want to say yeha. but i think. yeah.
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dapper-nahrwhale · 2 years
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Aaahghhhgaga
#im just. really mad. ok. just the fact that yay its my birthday tomorrow woo. and i keep asking people hey i want to do stuff for it#and every tune theyre like no :/ so. like. ig im just not doin anything and that sucks. ive been making plans for weeks now and everyones#canceling on me like. fuck cmon man. i get that getting older not to expect people to want to celebrate ur bday anymore but really.#really. i just wanted to play some dnd and go to a cat cafe thats all. like. but no. cqnt do shit now. it just really sucks ig.#and im not even expecting to get anything from anyone cuz they said uh bought you smth a while ago ig that was ur present lol. like. what.#im just so. tired. and this sucks. and i just want to do fun things with friends but no cant even do that.#and now my parents said well you forgot our bdays so now we're not doing urs and like. yeah i messed up but cmon.#im so bad with dates ok. if it isnt written down somewhere or no one tells me i forget it. i have no concept of time. cmon.#we gave our cats bday parties but not me ok then. idk i know its stupid to gdt this mad abt it but fuck i am#i only remembered the cats bday cuz it was written down. i dont even know when anyone elses is unless its written down ok.#idk im just so. angry and upset abt this. i know its silly to want to have at least 1 bday go right but i was really hoping. ig i shouldnt#have expected anything and just not asked abt doing anythihg at all idk. i know as you get older you stop doing stuff for bdays but fuck#i still want to do stuff. and i just cant and this sucks.#b.text#lol dont rb
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sugume · 3 months
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BORED N’ IGNORED w/Jujutsu Kaisean
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( TW ) f!reader, explicit content, bored!Sukuna & Toji, Ignored!Gojo & Choso cunnilingus, thigh riding, blow job, humiliation, face fucking, fingering, reader snaps a pic of gojo and sends it to her friend, sub!Choso or is he just a pleasure dom…?
Featuring: Gojo Satoru, Ryomen Sukuna, Choso Kamo + Toji Fushiguro 
authors note: I re-wrote this like 10 times so pls ignore any mistakes. also, me posting everyone but Geto on his birthday is criminal...
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☾ CHOSO KAMO 
“Haha! I got the kill! Finally,” You cheer. “Oh shit, someone's chasing me.” You move your controller, focused on getting yourself to safety, ignoring your boyfriend who's underneath your desk eating you out like a starved man.  
Choso just wants to make you cum. He knows he's in the doghouse for what he did last night so he’s trying to make it up to you. He didn’t know you were going to treat him like some common whore though. You won’t even acknowledge that he’s eating you out on the cold hard floor. He wants to scream but he knows you’d be even more angry, so he makes it his mission to make you cum so hard you have no choice but to talk to him.  
He sucks your clit harder, rubbing his fingers inside your gummy walls. You clench around them but show no sign on the outside that you’re about to cum. He knows his girl though. Knows you better than you know yourself. He smirks into your clit. 
“Shit—oh fuck—they won’t get off my tail—oh my god!” You scream at the game, trying and failing to mask your pleasure. Choso adds another finger into your cunt, stretching you good you almost drop the controller on his head.  
Choso picks up the pace, sucking on your clit so hard he’s scared he might leave a bruise—and finally, you acknowledge him.
“m’gonna cum! Choso!” you cry, reaching down to pull his hair as you cum all over his face.
☾ RYOMEN SUKUNA 
“Look at me!” You cry, kissing up and down his shaft before taking him back into your mouth You go as deep as you can before gagging. You pull back up and suck on his tip. You look up at Sukuna who doesn’t even look affected, staring at the TV. You dig your nails into his thighs. He doesn't react. 
“Kuna!” You scream, grabbing his jaw and forcing him to look down at you. He stares at you with disinterest. “What?” 
“Why aren’t you paying attention to me?” You hiccup, sitting back on your knees and grabbing his cock. You squeeze it. 
“You want my attention little one?” He grins down at you. You sniffle and nod, bending down to kiss the tick of his cock. He pats you head and you almost cry in relief.  
“Oh, so damned touch starved—upset ‘ve been ignoring you? I apologize little one. I'll make it up to you.” He grabs your head with both hands, guiding you to his cock. You open your mouth and take him in again. He grunts, pushing you to the hilt even as you gag and try to pull yourself up. He lifts your head back up before slamming it down on his cock. You claw at his thighs. “Giving you all my attention now. Gonna face fuck you ‘til you don’t remember your fucking own name.” 
☾ GOJO SATORU 
Satoru holds onto your thighs as he pushes his leaky cock into you. He needed this so bad after the day he had. He didn’t even pay mind to what you were doing before throwing his clothes off and climbing onto the bed. 
“Fuck—Feel good, Angel?” Gojo questions as he thrusts into you from his place above you. You don’t hear him though, too busy texting your friend about the latest drama that happened in your friend group.  
“Angel, did you hear me?” Satoru moves his hands from your waist to your tits. He pinches hard. You grunt, the grip on your phone wavering. Satoru’s harsh thrusts distract you for a second before you come back to your senses and read your friend's text. ‘Why are you making so many spelling mistakes LOL?’ You grin, clicking the camera and turning it to Satoru who looks down at you half angry and half pussy drunk. You snap a blurry picture of his sweaty abs and V-line before clicking send. Your friend laughs. 
“Angel,” Satoru whines grabbing your phone. “Stop treating me like some crapy dildo machine!” He holds the phone over his head with one hand, the other holding you down by the tummy. 
“Toru! I was having an important conversation,” You moan, wrapping your legs around his hips, digging your heels into his ass. He grunts his heavy hand on your tummy moving to squeeze your side. “Please, baby? Just gotta send one more text then I'm all yours—promise.”  
☾ TOJI FUSHIGURO 
You hold onto Toji’s bicep as you ride his thigh. You grind your pussy harder onto his leg, making sure your clit drags over the hard material of his pants. You moan and look down at the dark patch your slick is making. 
“Can you quiet down princess? Need to finish this application and you're distracting me.” Toji says, erasing the sentence he knows is incomprehensible. You moan louder. Throwing your head back and arching your tits up in his face. He grunts, turning to the side to rewrite his response.  
You huff, if he wants to play like that. "You better not ask me to get you off later today.” You grumble, moving your own hands up to twist and tug your nipples. Your legs tighten around his thick thigh. You feel yourself getting closer.  You grind down harder, pussy clenching around nothing.  
“Gonna cum! Ahh—feels so good, you feel s’good!” You slur, legs shaking as an orgasm washes over you. You slump down against Toji’s big chest. Toji’s face heats. He doesn't know whether to be pissed off or turned on that you just came all over his thigh like that. He grumbles something inaudible, bringing a hand down to grab a handful of your ass as he presses submit. “Oh, you’re fucking on princess.” 
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shellshocklove · 1 month
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wet nights | joel miller
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pairing/AU: bfd!joel miller x female!reader – no outbreak
summary: getting beer spilled down your dress at your best friend sarah’s birthday party might not have been so bad– not when her dad can help you clean up.
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! reader is 25 and joel is 47, reader is described as wearing a dress, swearing, use of pet names, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, exhibitionism, praise with a dash of degradation kink, one small touch of your clit, soft dom!joel, use of sir, cum play, no use of y/n
a/n: mom said it was my turn to write bfd!joel lol. basically this is just me wanting to write joel getting his cock and balls sucked bc it's what he deserves 😌 as always thank you to @dustydaddyyy for reading through this for me! and happy reading <3
main masterlist / ao3
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Nodding your head to the beat of the music you gulped down a cooling sip of beer. The bar was stuffed to the brim tonight for Sarah’s birthday. Every chair and booth occupied, large groups huddled together against the walls, and a growing crowd of brave, seemingly deep enough down their drinks, dancers moved across the makeshift dance floor. Leaning against the bar right at the end, you were shielded from the continuous line of people looking for a drink to sate their thirst on this hot summer night.
You’d missed Sarah since graduation. She’d moved back to Austin to be closer to her father – a man you had still to meet even after all these years of knowing Sarah. You’d met in undergrad where you’d had a couple of overlapping classes the first year. She’d been one of those people where you’d just clicked, like a hand in a glove, you two just fit together.
Now you had moved to Austin. It wasn’t exactly planned, but you’d applied to a postgraduate program at the University of Texas, not necessarily thinking you’d get in– but then you had. Sarah had been ecstatic when you’d told her. You hadn’t seen her in person in over a year, but you couldn’t wait to live in the same city as your best friend again.
But first, her 25th birthday party.
Tonight would be your first night out as a new Austinite. Sarah had invited all her closest friends and family to her favorite bar to celebrate. You’d dreaded it a little, you weren’t gonna lie. That nagging anxiety had bubbled under your skin all week at the prospect of being the only one at the party who didn’t know anyone already. Sarah had told you not to worry though when you’d voiced your concern to her a few days ago – she’d introduce you to everyone – nothing to worry about, and she’d been right.
All Sarah’s friends had been extremely friendly and nice, and you’d been taken under their wing immediately. Quickly, your anxiety had melted away, condensing into nothing as you’d started to have a good time.
It was deep into the summer, and Austin had shown itself from its hotter side the last few days. Inside the bar everything ran hot, even with the AC on blast and with the amount of people who’d made their way inside in the last hour, looking for a good time on a Saturday night, it never stood a chance.
Trying to cool off you’d excused yourself from your new group of friends to order yourself a cold beer. One of the ACs blew cold air directly towards the bar, keeping the frantic bartenders cool as they pushed out order after order of drinks. You watched them from where you stood perfectly in the wind of the AC, glass raised to your lips when you felt a hard bump against your shoulder.
“Fuck,” you cursed as your full glass of beer spilled all down your front, staining your white summer dress.
“Shit– sorry, sweetheart.” You didn’t have time to react as your beer was lifted out of your wet hand and placed on the rough wood of the bar.
Looking up from your ruined dress you took in your beer thief as he reached across the bar for some napkins. He was older, forties maybe, maybe older if you were to take the sprinkle of salt and pepper in his hair into consideration, but he was gorgeous. A strong jaw and sculptured nose. Clad in a t-shirt and a dark pair of jeans, you thought he looked casual– not like he belonged to the rest of the birthday party. The material of his t-shirt strained against his bicep as he leaned back from over the bar – a stack of napkins now in his hand. Standing to his full height before you, you noticed just how broad he was, and it made a drop of desire pool in your core. 
The man’s previous frantic movements came to a halt as he took you in for the first time; his dark brown eyes rolling down your body and leaving a trail of heat. His fist full of napkins stalled when his eyes landed on your dress, quickly diverting them with a loud clearing of his throat.
“Um– here,” he said, voice strained as he handed you the napkins.
Pulling your eyebrows together in a frown, you looked down at yourself again. The fabric was completely soaked through, and you felt a prickling heat tickle your cheeks as you realized you now looked like a walking ad for a wet t-shirt competition.
“Oh shit,” you muttered, taking the napkins from the man as you tried your best to cover yourself.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart– bumpin’ into ya like that.”
Pressing the napkins to your dress you shook your head at him, “It’s fine– eh,” you looked up from your body.
“Joel,” he introduced himself.
“It’s fine, Joel. It was an accident. I’ll just go to the restroom and try to get the stain out,” you said with a grimace, and reached for more napkins.
“Let me help ya,” he offered as he placed a friendly hand on your elbow.
As Joel guided you through the crowd towards the toilets, hand hovering at a polite distance behind your back, he continued to apologize.
“I feel terrible– let me at least pay for it if it ends up needin’ replacin’.”
Inside the bar’s toilets, you jumped up on the stone countertop lining the wall, turning the closest sink on.
“It’s okay,” you repeated as you busied yourself with trying to clean yourself up, “This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten beer spilled all over me,” you said with a teasing laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Standing beside you with his hip leaning against the stone and a knee popped, Joel huffed out a strained laugh, a laugh somewhere between embarrassment and relief.
“Yeah?” He questioned, eyes falling to your working hands.
“Tell you this much– I’ve had plenty of wet nights.”
A sound escaped Joel at your words, one he quickly tried to cover up with a cough, and you realize your innuendo a second too late. When you looked up from your hands, eyes wide, you noticed that Joel’s cheeks had flushed slightly, like he was embarrassed that he’d even caught onto the innuendo you hadn’t meant to make. 
“Oh! No, not like that–” you rushed, tone slightly mortified as your eyes met his, trying very hard not to stutter through the rest of your sentence, “I–uh... I only meant that I uh–... I‘ve had plenty of situations in which I’ve gotten wet–” 
At this sentence, Joel raised his eyebrows in a look that seemed half-surprised, half-amused, and your stomach dropped even further into your ass in embarrassment. 
“–with water!” you clarified quickly, before you scrunched up your nose in embarrassment, closing your eyes as you huffed out a laughing sigh, “There’s no way I’m getting out of this gracefully, is there?” 
You heard Joel’s chuckle to your side, deep and syrupy, like the stuff you’d liked to pour over your pancakes in buckets when you were a kid.
“You’d have gotten away with it if you hadn’t started explainin’, I think,” Joel told you, his tone joking, and you chuckled bashfully, nodding before you looked up at him. 
There was a moment in which you exchanged a look, before you felt the smile break over your face and you dissolved into embarrassed laughter, shaking your head as Joel laughed, too. 
“Off to a great start,” you muttered in between chuckles, “First week in Austin and I’m already making passes at handsome strangers in bar bathrooms.” 
“I never said I was complainin’,” Joel said jokingly, and you let out a chuckle, “First week in Austin, hm?” 
“Yeah,” you said with a nod, “Here for a postgrad.” 
“Smart and beautiful,” he mused, “Reckon I should spill beers more often if this is what I get in return.” 
Delicate wings fluttered in your tummy at his words as a feeling of excitement filled your chest. Looking up at him with a raised teasing eyebrow you said, “Not sure spilling beer on someone is the tried and tested formula.”  
“Well, that depends, really,” Joel answered back in a teasingly contemplating voice, “‘s it workin’ on you?” 
Your stomach dropped slightly at his words, and when your eyes moved to meet his, he was looking at you with a look that made your insides burn. 
“Maybe,” you told him with a teasing smile pulling at the corners of your mouth. 
You were never usually this bold, but there was something in the way he was looking at you and the syrup-y tone of his voice. You could tell he knew what he was doing, knew exactly what to say, and you wanted more. Biting down on your bottom lip coquettishly, you leaned backwards on your arms, giving Joel a full view of the soaked front of your dress, and more specifically, everything he could see underneath. 
“And what works on you, Joel?” 
You watched with some satisfaction as Joel's eyes ran over the length of your chest, before he quickly redirected them to your eyes.
“You’re making it very hard to be a gentleman here, sweetheart,” he almost whispered, his eyes as dark as the Austin summer night sky. You gave a noncommitted shrug as a teasing smile tugged at your lips. Then, you leaned forward so that you were closer to him, feet dangling slightly.
“I never asked you to be,” you told him, your voice low but not quite a whisper as you looked up at him through your lashes. 
Behind your rib cage your heart quickened with excitement as Joel’s darkening gaze bored into yours, and you knew you him right where you wanted him. His eyes danced over your face for a moment, before they flickered down to your lips. It almost made you stop breathing for a second, the tension in the air between you so thick you could cut it with a knife. There was just something about this man, something about Joel – and in this moment you wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anyone before. 
Maybe it should’ve scared you, the speed at which you’d fallen under his spell (or was it the other way around?), but right now, with Joel’s darkening eyes staring into yours, you couldn't bring yourself to feel any fear. You could only look at him, could only feel his breath fanning over your lips and the intensity of his gaze on your face.
“You’re trouble, aren’t ya?” Joel’s voice was low, not quite a whisper, but full of deep bass. 
You felt the expanse of his hand fall on your bare knee, rough and calloused over where your sundress had ridden up. 
“Nothing you can’t handle.” You batted your eyelashes semi-innocently, spreading your thighs slightly, which made Joel’s mouth twitch in amusement. 
“’s that so, darlin’?” He asked, taking his place between your legs, your face now only inches from his as he looked down at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Mhm,” you nodded slightly, your hand falling over his to guide it slowly up your thigh, “Don’t you wanna find out?”
As Joel’s index finger made contact with the side seam of your underwear, he closed the space between you and pressed his lips against yours. The hairs of his mustache tickled your cupid’s bow as he dove deeper, lips rolling over yours. You sat up slightly when his other hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him, your core rubbing up against his growing bulge. You whimpered against his lips at the contact, and Joel inhaled it, consuming every breathy moan and whimper.
His hand slid slowly downwards to your ass where he gave it a nice squeeze, pulling you even closer when your legs came up to wrap around his waist. He licked at your lower lip hungrily, and you opened yourself up to him to allow him to deepen the kiss. It was hot, and suffocating, and all-consuming, all at the same time. He was a great kisser, probably the best you’d kissed. His lips moved expertly over yours, soft and firm at the same time as he guided you through it.
The grip on your ass tightened again and soon you were half-way to hanging off the counter as he rocked his front steadily against your core, where your arousal had started to pool. The kisses turned needier then, shorter and desperate between quiet whines. You could feel the shape of him against you, hard and thick, and big. A wave of tickling arousal washed over you as you imagined yourself on your knees before him, the weight and taste of him on your tongue. He was so fucking hot, and you wanted him so fucking badly.
“Can I suck your cock?” you panted through frantic kisses.
Joel pulled back slightly, head tipped back to find your eyes. 
“You wanna suck my cock?” he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice. You only nodded, head tipping slowly with the bite of your lip.
Joel tsk-ed, “Dirty girl,” he said and rocked his hard bulge against your core, which earned him a moan. It made a wicked grin spread across his face, like he’d just proved a point.
His hands left your body as he slowly stepped backwards – that same cocky grin adorning his features as he nodded towards one of the stalls. Jumping off the countertop, you almost tripped over your feet to follow him inside.
“Relax, baby– ain’t no need to get on your knees until after we’re inside,” he teased, holding the door open for you, bicep bulging against the fabric of his t-shirt. Fuck, he looked so hot.
“Ha-ha,” you fake-laughed at him with a teasing roll of your eyes as you stepped past him and into the bathroom stall. When the door clicked behind him, followed by the unmistakable sound of the lock turning, you felt a pair of strong hands land on your hips as he pressed his body against your back.
“I’m only teasin’,” he reassured you in your ear, his breath fanning over the shell and sending a tingle down your spine. Turning around in his hold, your own teasing smile spread across your face as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Yeah?” you queried with the raise of an eyebrow, “Well two can play that game, sir” you teased as you slowly sunk to your knees, missing the way Joel reacted to the title you’d assigned him.
From above Joel watched you, body relaxed and composed like he wasn’t about to get his dick sucked, but the lust in his eyes gave him away. Your teeth caught on your bottom lip as you fumbled with his belt, the sound of metal clinking bouncing off the tiles as you focused on popping the button on his jeans and pulling the zipper down. You couldn’t take your eyes off the shape of him hidden behind the denim, and it made your mouth water, your thighs squeezing together. You were mesmerized as you let your pointer finger run over the covered length of him, the cotton fabric of his boxer briefs soft under your fingertips.
For a moment, you couldn���t believe what you were about to do – suck a man you’d just met less than an hour ago off in the bathroom stall of some dingy bar? But then again, something excited you about it. 
Maybe it was Joel? Or maybe it was the thrill of it all– of maybe getting caught?
“Go on, darlin’, it’s okay– be a good girl n’ take it out f’me,” Joel ordered from above, his voice dropping an octave. You looked up at him, caught the way he studied you, gauging your every move and reaction.
Then something shifted in his eyes, a flash of insecurity making its presence known, “Or don’t– we can stop f’you want– if you ain’t feelin’ it anymore.”
You shook your head before he’d even finished his sentence. God, no! You sure as hell didn’t want to stop.
“I wanna keep going, Joel,” you smiled, your fingers hooking into the elastic band of his boxer briefs.
A genuine smile bloomed across his face then, his rough hand coming down to cup your chin, “That’s good, baby,” he said, swiping his thumb slowly over your skin, before he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to your lips.
“Know you’ll be good f’me, won’t you?” he whispered against your lips, drawing a breathy whine from you at the praise.
“Yes,” you sighed, almost breathless as he kissed you again quickly before he murmured against your lips, “Yes, you will, darlin’– you’re gonna choke on my cock ‘n thank me for it, won’t ya?”
He was driving you mad with all these questions. In just a few minutes, this man had turned you inside out, pushed every button to turn you on– you were practically swimming in your panties, your mind clouded in hazy arousal. 
You didn’t know what to do, and not thinking clearly, you chased his lips.
“Nuh-uh,” Joel chuckled, pulling away slightly, “lemme hear you say it, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” you sighed again, “thank you for giving me your cock.”
“Thank you for giving me your cock, what?”
This manwas relentless.
“Thank you for giving me your cock, sir?” you tried, teeth nibbling on your bottom lip.
Pleased, a satisfied grin pulled at Joel’s lips. He rewarded you with a quick kiss before he pulled away, standing to his full height again.
You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed to touch him. Hooking your fingers into the elastic band of his boxer briefs again, you slowly pulled them down, revealing inch by inch of the base of his fat cock.
He was big, and the sight made your mouth water, but what excited you the most was the weight of his heavy balls.
“Fuck,” you whispered, eyes wide with fascination.
His hand found the back of your neck in a grounding hold as he guided you closer, your lips bumping against his tip. “Give it a kiss, baby… just like that,” he praised as you did exactly what he wanted, placing a kiss to his cock the same way you’d kissed his lips.
Over you, you could hear Joel release a content breathy chuckle, “That’s so good, baby, such a good girl.”
Egged on by his praises, you shifted a little on your knees, steadying your hands on his thighs as you pooled a blob of spit in your mouth that you let drip down the head. Joel watched you intensely as you used your dominant hand to slowly work the spit over his length, earning yourself a strained grunt. He grew even harder in your hand as you familiarized yourself with the weight and size of him in your hand. 
“Wanna taste it, sir,” you said and placed another soft kiss to the head, swiping your tongue over the slit to taste the precum that had started to pearl.
“Yeah?” he taunted, almost degrading, “You wanna taste my cock that badly?”
“Y-yes,” you whined, looking up at him through your lashes.
Joel watched you for a beat before he tapped at the hand wrapped around him, shooing it away as he fisted himself. “Open wide then, honey, ‘f you want it that bad,” he said, slapping his cock against the side of your face.
Your mouth dropped open in an instance as Joel stuffed his cock inside your mouth slowly. You opened up as wide as you possibly could, relaxing your jaw to accommodate the size of him in your mouth. It was a wide stretch, and the tip touched the back of your throat far too soon, making you gag around the head.
He pulled back to let you breathe for a moment, before he sunk back down your throat again, a large and grounding hand resting at the back of your head. The second time you were more prepared to take him, holding him in your throat for a few moments longer before you started to gag. Over you, Joel let out a strained grunt; the noise sending a bolt of arousal straight to your core.
After that, Joel let you take the lead.
You started out slow, taking the head into your mouth as you let your spit-covered fingers glide over his shaft in an experimental tug. Under your fist, a slick sound echoed off the tiles with every jerk of his cock. You made sure his cock was thoroughly coated in your spit as you set a steady rhythm. You let your tongue glide over the underside of his tip, his hips bucking when you dipped your tongue into the slit.
It was sloppy, and wet, and the noises coming from your throat were entirely too obscene as you started bobbing your head, taking him down your throat.
“That’s a good girl,” Joel praised you, helping guide his cock down your throat with the hand resting at the back of your head. “You love suckin’ cock, don’t you? Love havin’ a big cock fill up that tight throat?”
Suddenly, you heard the muted music coming from the bar grow louder before dying again at the sound of the door slamming shut. You stilled your movements in panic as you heard someone slip into the stall to your right. Your eyes met Joel as you slipped his cock out your mouth, but to your surprise he looked far from concerned about the new audience. 
Stretching his neck he turned his head in the direction of the occupied stall, while he wrapped his fist around the base of his cock. Even in his hands it looked big, and you started to wonder how you’d ever managed to fit it down your throat. A beat passed before he turned his head to look at you again, a wicked grin coating his lips as he bobbed his cock in your face, rubbing the head over your closed lips before he slapped it lightly against your cheek.
“Open up,” he mouthed with another light slap to your cheek. His actions made a tingle of arousal spread throughout your body, and you realized in shock how much the thought of getting caught turned you on.
You did as Joel said and opened your mouth for him to feed you his cock again. He watched you very closely this time, letting you ease yourself down his cock at your own pace, trying your best to be quiet. When the very tip of your nose made contact with the thatch of coarse dark hair at the base and your lips were snug around his cock, Joel couldn’t help himself. The grounding hand at the back of your head held you down as he shoved himself as deep as he possibly could down your throat, his balls bouncing against your chin at the movement.
To your right you heard the unmistakable sound of a toilet being flushed and a lock being twisted. Your eyes welled up with tears, your vision fogging over as you tried your best to fight against your gag reflex. Over you, Joel watched you with a proud smirk on his lips. When the sound of the sink turning on echoed through the restroom, you allowed a whimpering gag to escape you as you squeezed your eyes shut.
It shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did, but the thrill of getting caught choking on an older man’s cock, a man who was essentially a stranger, made you wonder if you could come untouched. You were so close already, just a flick of your clit would send you off the edge of bliss.
Your eyes were about to roll back into your head when Joel finally pulled back. You gasped violently for air at the exact moment the door opened, filling the toilets with loud music for a moment before you and Joel were locked away again in your own little world. Like you were on autopilot, your hand slipped between your thighs to find your clit, and soon you were withering with your orgasm.
“Oh, there you go, honey, come all over those fingers f’me, just like that,” you heard Joel say, though the force of your orgasm made it seem like he was far away, like your ears were filled with cotton.
When you finally calmed down, you steadied yourself with a tug at Joel’s jeans – the fabric rough under your fingertips. Over you Joel fisted his cock as he watched you with a wild look in his eyes.
“Goddamn, baby, you’re so fuckin’ hot comin’ like that just from gettin’ your throat fucked.”
“Thank you, sir,” you managed to let out, your voice strained and hoarse.
Realizing he must’ve been close, you sat up straighter on your knees, ready to pull him off the edge too. Leaning forward, you stuck out your tongue, licking a fat strip up the seam of his balls to the underside of his shaft. His cock jumped in his hand as Joel let out a breathy laugh.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he muttered, “Look me in the eyes honey– look me in the eyes when you lick my balls.” Joel jerked his cock above your face as you continued to lick at his heavy balls – your eyes locked with his.
“Look so fuckin’ pretty like this,” he choked out through groans, “Suck on ‘em, baby, suck on my balls.”
Blinking up at him you tried your best to fit one of them in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking greedily and lapping at the skin, before you moved on to treat the other with the same amount of love.
Joel’s mouth dropped open in a gape, his breath coming out quicker and more staggered. He squeezed himself harder at the base with each jerk before skating his thumb over the swollen head, massaging it. 
“Fuck,” he panted, “I’m gonna come, baby, I’m gonna fuckin’ come.”
Popping his balls from your mouth you hurriedly sat up in front of him, the tip off his cock brushing over the plump of your bottom lip with every thug of his cock.
“Please, sir,” you begged, “Please, come in my mouth.”
Joel wasn’t one to deny your request, especially not when you were sat so pretty in front of him with your tongue sticking out.
A second later, Joel shoved his cock in your mouth and came – balls drawn tight as he shot his load down your throat. The force of it made you gag a little at first, the restriction around his sensitive cock only making him come harder. He groaned above you as you sucked him dry, before he pulled back when it was too much, and caught his breath.
“Say Ah,” he said, a gentle but firm hand cupping your jaw. The squeeze of his fingers made your mouth drop open to reveal the cum coated on your tongue and where it pooled at the back of your throat. “Don’t swallow– Let me see, darlin’.”
Your smile fought against his grip. Sticking your tongue out the best you could, you let him see the state he’d left you in; chin coated in saliva, tears starting to dry on your cheeks, mouth puffy and fucked, and marked in this stranger’s cum.
“Pretty as a picture,” he tutted before he let go of your jaw, and with a pat to your cheek finally gave you permission to swallow.
After that it was like the spell had broken between you. Joel helped you to your feet, both of you giggling when your legs wobbled like a foal unsteady on its feet. He held you upright with a strong hand to your waist, while the other one traveled up the length of your body to cup your face, and bring it closer to place a slow and sensual kiss to your lips.
“Would you believe me if I told you I’d never done anything like that before?” You asked him a moment later as he helped you clean your face by the sink.
Joel gave you a look in the mirror.
“You don’t?” you exclaimed.
Joel gave you an infuriatingly casual shrug, “It ain’t your first time suckin’ dick that’s for sure,” he teased with a pinch to your side which made you jump.
Giving him a playful shove, you said, “I’m not lying! I’ve never had a one-night stand.”
“Well, the night’s still young,” Joel joked, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and dipping his head to place a soft kiss to the column of your neck.
You leaned into his touch, feeling the soft grip of his hands on your body, and the soft presses of his kisses as you watched the two of you in the mirror. You found that you liked the reflection looking back at you, and if you were lucky, you hoped he liked it too; maybe enough to want to see you again.
“I can’t go back out there like this,” you said after a moment.
Your dress had finally dried, but so had the beer – staining it yellow.
Joel lifted his head from your neck to rest his chin on your shoulder as his eyes scanned your body in the mirror. 
“I have a flannel in my truck I can borrow you?”
“More layers in this heat?” you questioned, already sweating at the thought.
A wide grin spread across Joel’s face, full of mischief, “I guess I’ll just have to take ‘em off of you later, then.”
Turning around in his hold, you wrapped your hands around his neck, your fingers toying with the hair curling at his neck as you met his eyes. “That doesn’t sound so bad,” you whispered, painfully aware of the wet stain of arousal soiling your panties and sticking to your cunt.
“No, it doesn’t,” Joel hummed, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. 
“Wanna get out of here?” you asked and brushed your lips over his.
A moment later Joel guided you out the restrooms with a protective hand resting at the small of your back. Weaving through the crowd, you’d made your way almost to the exit when you heard a shout of your name over the music.
“There you are!” Sarah shouted again as she moved through the crowd towards you and Joel, arms reached out to the sky.
“Oh! And you’ve finally met my dad!”
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i hope this was okay and that someone liked this? as always feedback as a comment, in the tags, as an ask or reply is very much appreciated, and they make me super happy! <3 i'm very curious to hear your thoughts about this! <3
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sanguineterrain · 4 months
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restroom attendant | jason todd
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Summary: Tonight is the worst night ever--you just got dumped on your birthday, and all you want to do is cry in the restaurant bathroom in peace. That is, until, the Red Hood bursts in. This city just won't cut you a break.
Pairing: Jason Todd x fem!reader 
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings/tags: humor, mild angst, reader's ex-bf cheats and dumps her, jason is such a silly goose, flirting, meet ugly, canon-typical violence, awkward jason, comic relief dick grayson.
A/N: this is probably the silliest fic i've ever written LOL! i hope you guys enjoy it. please support your local jason todd enthusiast and reblog :)
the divider
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Tonight sucks. 
With a shaky hand, you attempt to soothe your swollen eyes. You’ve probably been in here for about twenty minutes. Your Uber has definitely left, as has your now ex-boyfriend of three years. 
Yoga instructor. It’s always the yoga instructor. They’re always fucking the yoga instructor.
You swallow a mouthful of tears and phlegm and try not to let the wet sink touch your dress. All you’d wanted was a little class on your birthday, maybe have some wine and play footsie under the table with your boyfriend. But no. That would’ve been too easy for you. 
You’re starting to think this city is cursed.
The door slams open. The force of it shakes the bathroom, rattles the mirrors. You spin around.
A man slides across the floor and smacks his head on the opposite wall. Red Hood appears in the doorway, the eyes of his helmet glowing eerily. 
Yep. Definitely cursed.
"Let's try this again," Hood says pleasantly, reloading his gun with a fresh magazine. "And in the interest of making myself transparent: when I ask you a question, Jerry, I expect a truthful answer."
He stalks over to Jerry and heaves him up by the lapels of his suit jacket. Hood's biceps bulge as he holds Jerry against the wall. You squish yourself against the sink. Water soaks the back of your dress. 
"You're crazy, I didn't do anything!" Jerry shouts, feet barely scraping the floor. 
"Volume, Jerry. People are trying to enjoy their meals.”
“Let go of me, Hood! I wasn’t anywhere near the Iceberg Lounge!”
“Yeah, see, words are coming outta your mouth, but they don't match the fact that I have three people who put you at the scene. How can we remedy this inconsistency? Any ideas?"
Jerry squirms, but he's no match for Hood's strength. Your heart pounds in your chest.
"Don't give me to the cops!" Jerry begs. 
"Cops are the least of your worries right now," Hood snarls. "You're damn lucky Nightwing wants to talk to you, Jerry, or your head would hurt a lot more."
Slowly, you reach for your purse, trying to pull out your phone. Instead, you knock it to the floor. Tears gather in your eyes because this night just can’t cut you a break.
“Motherfucker,” you whisper. 
Hood turns, those frightening white eyes now on you. Jerry also looks at you, legs still dangling.
“Hey,” Hood says without a sign of struggle. “Shit. Y'alright? Did I swipe ya?”
“No,” you say, voice shaky.
His posture softens. “Okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Don’t be afraid.”
“I believe you. But, um… you're in the women's bathroom.”
Red Hood gives the room a onceover. 
“Huh. So we are. Dunno how that happened.” He shakes Jerry by the collar. “Why’d you run into the women’s bathroom, asshole?”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't kill me!” Jerry wails. 
“Shut it, Jesus. I'm not gonna kill you. Not yet, anyway.” 
“It's fine, I was just leaving,” you say, bending down to get your purse. 
“Hey, no, don't let me push you out,” Hood says. “Sorry. I'll be gone in a couple minutes.”
Hood adjusts his grip so Jerry's face is against the wall, arms and legs restrained. Then he zipties Jerry and sits him down hard on the floor. Hood presses a button on his helmet. 
“Yo, N, I'm at Prescott's. Yeah, with Jerry. No, I didn't tell him to run in here, he did that all on his own! Well, I chased him for ten blocks, so I’d prefer if you’d keep your bitching to yourself. Thank you… Okay, we're in the women's bathroom, so—well, I didn't do it on purpose! No, I’m—will you just come here? There’s a side window.” Hood presses the button again with a grunt. “Dickhead.”
“Are you gonna erase my memory?” you ask. 
Hood jerks, turning back to you.
“What? Hell no, I'm not gonna erase your memory. I don't do that shit, I promise.”
You slump against the sink. “That's too bad. I would prefer it.”
He looks up from Jerry’s last ziptie and pulls it extra tight. Jerry whimpers. 
“How come?” Hood asks.
You shake your head. “It's nothing.”
“Hm. Doesn't look like nothing. If you're in danger—”
“I'm not in danger. I…”
You glance at Hood. You can't see his face, but his body language seems genuine. From what you've heard, Hood isn't known for mincing words or doing things he doesn't want to. And he’s good to Gothamites. Well, the law-abiding ones, anyway. He’s even been endorsed by Batman.
What's the harm in telling him about your disastrous night? Not like you'll see him again. Or Jerry. 
“I got dumped,” you say. 
“Ah.” Hood nods. “Been there.”
Somehow, the idea of Red Hood getting dumped is weirder than him beating up a guy in the women’s bathroom of Prescott’s.
You sniffle, and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. 
“Yeah, um. It was our three year anniversary today. He took me here, told me he was in love with his yoga instructor, and then left.”
You tear up thinking about it. Hood makes a quiet noise.
“Shit. Well, I haven't been there,” he says. “But I know infidelity. I'm sorry. Dudes are trash.”
“And it's my birthday today,” you blurt, sniffling. 
“Happy birthday,” Jerry says, clutching his stomach. 
“What a fucking asshole!” Hood snarls, and lets go of Jerry, who crumples like a sack of potatoes. He’s out cold in a second, frozen on the floor.
Your brows rise. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. It’s his first time in Gotham.” Hood shrugs. “Anyway, where was I? Right, your asshole ex. Like it's not enough to publicly dump you, and then he goes and does it on your birthday? Who is this guy? I'll go talk to him right now.”
You laugh a loud, snorting laugh. It bounces off the tiles. 
Hood tilts his head. “What’d I say?”
You catch your breath and wave your hand. 
“No, nothing, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a crappy night and that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever offered to me.”
“I mean it,” Hood says. “I’ll scare him if you want.”
“As tempting as that is, I don’t want to be an accessory to a crime.”
You also don’t want to put your ex in the ICU, no matter how much he might deserve it. Best to let the universe do its thing.
“You’d be acquitted, don’t worry.” Hood leans against the stall. “I’d never letcha go to jail.”
You smile, your ears growing warm. “You don’t even know me. What if I deserve it?”
“Nah. I got a good sense about people. I can tell you’re sweet. Probably don’t even run through red lights.”
“I try not to,” you say, heat spreading to your face. 
“Yeah, a good girl. I figured as much.”
Your eyes widen. Hood coughs and rubs his neck. Even his coughs sound intimidating through the helmet, but that’s negated by his scrunched-up posture.
“Fuck. Sorry. That wasn’t a come-on,” he says. “I mean, it sounded like one, but I’m realizing what a creep I am, flirting with you in a bathroom with a zip-tied criminal. Sorry.” He shakes his head. “I hate myself.”
You grin. “It’s okay. You made my night better, actually. Thanks.”
“That’s a testament to how terrible your night’s been if I made it better.”
You shrug. “Could always be worse. I bet Jerry had an even shittier night than me.”
“You’d win that bet. But I—”
The window swings open with a clunk. Nightwing pops his head in. He looks at Hood, then you. 
“Uh,” he says. “Evening. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is it took you almost ten minutes to get here,” Hood says, back in Vigilante Mode. “Did you get lost?”
Nightwing smiles with all his teeth. “I was actually cleaning up your mess at the Bowery, Hood. You’re welcome.” 
He looks at you. “Hi. Sorry about this. I hope we didn’t ruin your night. If there’s anything we can reimburse you for…”
You shake your head. “It’s okay. My night was already sunk. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for keeping Gotham safe.”
Nightwing laughs. “The pleasure is ours.”
“Alright, enough chattering, Dickwing,” Hood says. “Take him.”
He lifts the unconscious Jerry, pushing him up to the window. He does so effortlessly, his jacket riding up to reveal his skin-tight jumpsuit. 
You look away before he catches you staring. There’s definitely something wrong with you. 
Nightwing takes Jerry and waves at you. Then he disappears.
“So, uh,” Hood says. “I gotta go.”
“Oh! Right, of course. Sorry to keep you.”
“Now what’re you apologizing for?” he asks, and it almost sounds like a tease. You wonder what his smile looks like. What color his eyes are.
“Well, I really didn’t mean to keep you…”
“You didn’t keep me,” Hood says, and you can hear the warmth even through his decoder. “This is probably the best arrest I’ve ever made.”
He starts to climb through the window, then stops. He digs into one of the pockets of his belt and pulls out a scrap of paper. 
“This is my number,” he says. “Well, it’s kind of the vigilante hotline. But you can reach me here, in case you ever need help.”
Hood walks over to give it to you. He smells like gunpowder and oranges. He’s even larger this close, the width of his shoulders dwarfing you. 
“Thank you,” you say quietly. 
He nods and backs up, clapping his hands.
“Right. So I’ll go… Bye.”
Hood looks at you for a moment more. Then he hops up onto the window sill and slides out, somehow graceful despite his bulk. The window closes. 
Your dress has dried, which is nice. You walk out of the bathroom. It’s a miracle no one else has come in. 
You get your coat and this time, when you see the empty seat across from yours, you don’t burst into tears, which is progress. You call another Uber and go to wait for it at the front. The hostess approaches you.
“Ma’am?” she says, and holds out a small, plastic container. In it is a slice of tiramisu. 
“I didn’t order this,” you say.
“It was called in and paid for by a Mr. R.H. He wishes you a happy birthday.” 
“Oh. Thank you.”
You’re definitely leaving a five-star review on Yelp.
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dvrk-moon · 30 days
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ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈
HAVING AN IDOL S/O
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requested : yes!!!
genre : fluff, crack
pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader
warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL
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HEESEUNG ; 희승
so you two trained together
and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much
you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead
so you lost contact
but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle
and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially
you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable
so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time
mind literally blown
so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)
and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again
but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land
ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!
so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto
and heeseung saw you backstage once
between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again
and this was his opportunity!
so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly
and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol
and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years
but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him
but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song
when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((
like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again
so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number
and you’re like shit yeah
so he texts you like every day
and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible
so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out
but then he goes on tour for a while
you miss him a lot
and he misses you a lot
so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME
one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited
so you quickly begin dating :)
dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter
like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography
and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”
you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd
he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him
just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time
and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him
you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times
but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA
like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”
does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”
JAY ; 제이
so you debuted before him
by like a year and a half, so like january 2019
you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time
and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee
your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)
you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc
and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice
even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’
but i digress
so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you
but like. he had to be normal about it
so he freaked out about you respectfully
but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type
on like every variety program possible
like damn we get it!!!!
but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you
and so they did exactly that!!!
he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming
he actually almost fainted on the spot
and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you
so you approached him and asked him for his number
cue him almost passing out pt 2
but you end up talking quite a bit
like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you
and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage
so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating
but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time
“your stage was so good how are you real”
always buying albums for each other for support
and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)
he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate
but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately
he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon
and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”
that pic became his lock screen btw
you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out
they were like “just date already smh”
little did they know that you already were!
JAKE ; 제이크
you were a year and a half their junior
and you debuted in kep1er
so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da
and like you’d just debuted too
so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms
and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door
and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!
you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you
you told your members and they thought it was so funny
but jokes on them
because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown
who’s laughing now!!! (you are)
after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in
and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”
but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything
after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage
and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !
but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(
it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room
enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number
so he texted you like almost immediately
soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible
jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes
but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)
after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long
he’s literally the biggest fan of your group
like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists
and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨
you also are open about being a fan of them
so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly
but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later
winning the idgaf war about people finding out though
like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF
he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken
SUNGHOON ; 성훈
you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group
and like wonyoung is your bff
she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days
so she wanted to play matchmaker!
(love me not reference?!?!)
anyways
she gets “sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”
and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”
it’s not chill
for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung
little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive
ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it
so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording
his do not 😭
he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit
he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭
but fans love the interactions!!!!
and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact
sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn
and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”
on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants
anyways
and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips” (you’re a liar)
so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”
and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”
and you’re like “well alright”
(jk u were just as stoked)
and dating him is so relieving
because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret
fans love the interactions
and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped
like they already expected it
but still
he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show
the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”
he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”
like bro we get it
he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad
SUNOO ; 선우
okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?
yeah
so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released
and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show
and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”
he became a fan so quickly
like learned the choreo and everything
so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”
and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for
chemistry between u guys went CRAZY
and then you filmed a tiktok together
and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral
engenes and belllie’ves went crazy
you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too
so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two
you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact
so he ends up asking you out about a month later
and ofc you say yes
so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot
you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question
but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges
it was like a cute trend
so once you got the okay to post it, you did
this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least
he always finds a way to sing your songs on live
doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice
one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”
people found out it was him so quickly 😭
he’s so shameless about people knowing though
after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything
nobody actually cares though
they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏
JUNGWON ; 정원
you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”
you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land
so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently
you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members
but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you
and you had absolutely no idea why he would be
you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?
it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed
actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you
and had no idea what to do about it
like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything
so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha
as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha
iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you
and ni-ki’s like ?!
so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”
he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you
ni-ki teases him so hard about it
so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you
it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?
after filming, you two exchange numbers
he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you
it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating
in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups
and it highkey is
in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up
you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together
jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group
he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”
when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two
you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️
RIKI ; 니키
you debuted as the maknae of loona
so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had
so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them
but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols
you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges
one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well
both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close
little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol
so like you’ll have a live with him
or you’ll film a tiktok together
or you’ll post something together
etc
somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret
namely after you two filmed a live together
and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live
you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend
and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you
and you were like “no way me too!!!!”
(everyone could tell)
it wasn’t super in secret though
because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two
so you could interact freely
it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live
but then womp womp
dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship
no one cares though (except delulu fans)
so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions
you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members
luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives
one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up
and fans absolutely LOVED it
ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship
they were like DAMN OK
anyways
you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT
like a lot
riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭
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a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever
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