#; I guess Mika could be more like his father if he had better memories of him

[distopea]

Did Mads and Mika inherit their father's traits? Are there parts of them that they deny, ignore or fear because they can see their father reflected in their own actions or thoughts?

@nezumivc103221

Among these two, Mika is definitely the one who's closer to his mother, Selene, in terms of attitude and behavior, even physically. She was a sunny woman with a high positivity in general, very much inclined to help people. Her eyes were like Mika's, her hair and complexion too. 

From his father, he carries almost nothing, if perhaps a few traits here and there that give clues to his origins, and the blurry memory of a man of strong violence and abuse. He was blessed to somehow forget a bit who that man was, and he has never picked up on his attitude either, simply because he has always tried to help Mads carry on through his trauma. He's only stubborn and secretive in the end, a bit like his father Elys was... But other than that, Mika feels utterly different. 

For Mads, it's much more complicated. He has the sensation of carrying all the flaws his father ever bore, and it's definitely hard to endure it. Since a very young age, everyone who has known his father had always claimed he was the spitting image of Elys. Same dark straight hair, same intense eyes, same nose, same shape of lips and same jaw... Physically, Elys was everything he is today. 

From his father, alas for Mads, he has the sensation of being forever tainted with his anger issues, his lack of trust, his guarded nature and his profound loneliness. He doesn't wish to be like him, but he finds a reflection of himself inside his memories, and it's quite increasing his trauma and his inability to move on. 

Elys could have been someone decent; a part of Mads knows it. He was a man who snapped and got broken inside for different issues, and more than once Mads felt like he was standing and walking on the same path. 

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 135 english fan translation

AND I'M FINALLY CAUGHT UP official at here thanks as always bye

Having devoured his brother in arms, Ferid is preparing for the final decisive battle...

*horrible chewing sfx*

Owari no Seraph chapter 135: Beginning Battle of the End

Vampire Wives: ....Crowley-sama

Vampires Wives: Crowley-sama

Crowley: Ng...

Horn Skuld: We're finally able to see each other again

Horn Skuld: It's been quite a while, Crowley-sama. Although, ideally our reunion would have been under different circumstances

Chess: But seriously, Crowley-sama, how could you!? Did you even look for us once after we went missing, did you even spend a second of your time on searching for us!??

Crowley: Ah well, I figured you'd just gotten tired of me and run away

Chess: Like we'd ever!!!

Horn Skuld: No...I believe Crowley-sama knew what had become of us.

Crowley: Well, you two are my first disciples* afterall. In a way. But to think we'd all have been eaten by Ferid-kun. So what exactly is this place, what goes on here?

Horn Skuld: We're being slowly consumed during our demon transformation.

Crowley: So I guess that makes this Ferid's insides?

Chess: Just take a look over there!

Crowley: Well I'll be damned, so I guess I'll become a demon then. Something like the weapons the humans made, I wonder? Ferid-kun really is a man of many talents.

Crowley: Oh, shit-

Chess: This is how the digestion works-!

Chess: *screaming*

Horn Skuld: It seems that you'll lose consciousness as more of you gets digested.

Chess: iserysfdjsdfkljsd stopppppp

Crowley: Huh

Horn Skuld: It also, I should mention, doesn't seem that our voices are able to reach Ferid-sama from here. Since we were absorbed here, we've seen many vampires try to curse, question and scream at him, but...

Crowley: No answer?

Horn Skuld: None. At least, not to us.

Crowley: Hmmm, that so, Ferid-kun?

Crowley: Well, that's all well and good then. I guess we'll just watch from within, then. Maybe from in here, we just might catch a sight of that heart and those plans you've never opened up to us.

Ferid: You'd better watch closely, Crowley-kun. I want you to see the finale I've been working towards for so long.

Chess: WH-

Horn Skuld: How-

Horn Skuld: Crowley-sama!!?

Ferid: Let's get busy

Ferid: Now that I've eaten Crowley, who's lived within our plan for so long already, that probably just puts me past a third progenitor, but I wonder.

Ferid: Only one way to find out.

Yuu: Devour my desire! Mikaela, GO WILD!!

Saitou: These guys never want to just listen when someone's talking! Capture him unharmed!!

Ky: Are you sure about that??

Lest: Walk in the park, he's outnumbered.

Shikama: O Darkness, protect Y-.....

Shikama: Shit....Shinoa's attack is even affecting my physical body....she's a beast.

Shikama: O, Darkness. Turn the vampires to dust.

Yuu: *screaming*

Saitou: DUCK!!!!

Ky: Wh-

Lest: Huh?

Random Vampire Whose Name I Learned and then Forgot Again: Ah-

Ky: HOLY FUCK

Lest: What the hell are we in it with the First too!??

Ky: O, SWORD!!

Urd: Rigr!!

Saitou: Urd, watch my six.

Urd: O sword, drink as much blood as it takes.

Urd: Shit. Rigr, we're going to be in trouble fast if we don't cut them off at the source!!

Saitou: I expect nothing less of our Father, still having this much power.

Saitou: PROTECT!!

Yuu: HERE IT IS, MIKA!!

Saitou: DON'T LET HIM THROUGH, URD.

Urd: No way this is gonna end with 'unharmed.' Actually, if restraining him isn't an option I really don't care if he dies.

Shikama: Yuu...Yuu...**

Yuu: Ahh...he's got that same tired expression that was so characteristic of him in my memories...

Yuu: I still don't know if there's a way, but I've come to save you, Father.

Shikama: Hurry, I doubt I have much time left for what I need to pass on to you.....

Shinoa: Ha...hahaha!!!

Shinoa: All of it, all of it all of it all of it!!! I'm going to swallow you!!

Krul: .....what now? Your vibes are totally off, who are you?

Ferid: I'm a fan of yours, my queen.

The Third Progenitor Showdown begins....!!!

*this word can mean either family or like serfs, so I settled on something in between the two, so it feels like he has responsibility to them without assuming maybe more closeness than the text is willing to state

**Shikama here is calling Yuu like he called the eyeball in the ancient flashbacks. Earlier in this chapter or the last he was using the kanji for Yuu's name, like our Yuu, but here he's calling ユ��� like the homonculous.

[ichika27]

OnS Chapter 125

I’m reading this on time! Hehe

I guess it’s finally backstory time for the First Progenitor?

Sorry for the awkward cut screenshots. I don’t really have a big screen space and there are several connected panels I want to post so yeah...

The place Mika and Yuu found themselves in doesn’t have any hiding spot but it doesn’t seem like Shika Madu notices them. He’s seems to be busy and Mika and Yuu decided to be brave and take a look at what is being worked on.

Yuu passes by a window and as he looks outside, he wonders if they really are in the prehistoric age cause the city looks pretty futuristic.

Mika looks at the monitors and says he can’t read what’s on it but amazingly, Yuu could when he tried. This made Mika more curious as to what Yuu really is. Mika asks Yuu to keep reading but Yuu complains that doing so is starting to give him a headache.

As the two were doing that, Angel Mika finally comes in (which I think is weird cause he went to the tower first so why did Mika and Yuu get there first?).

Angel Mika happily offered his food with his father. Shika Madu realizes this meant Angel Mika went to town again. Apparently, Angel Mika isn’t allowed to do that but Angel Mika just laughs it off.

I knew it!! The freaking black eyeball thing is Yuu!! XD

Mika and Yuu pick up on that and realize the memories they’re seeing belongs to the little ball Yuu.

Meanwhile, Shika Madu also notices the name and asks if it meant Angel Mika named another homonculus. Angel Mika says yes as he thinks it’s sad that homonculus are nameless.

As the duo continues to watch the exhcange, they notice that Angel Mika’s personality is the same as the current Yuu’s (the “dumb” parts as Mika points out).

Homonculus Yuu is always watching Angel Mika.

Shika Madu explains why giving homonculus names is not recommended: it would give them a heart. Like a curse that gives them emotions.

lol  the duo is trying to figure out which of them is Angel Mika more similar to.

If you ask me, I think both. He’s happy and clingy like the actual 12yo Mika from before all this happened and he’s also like the currently happy, friendly Yuu.

Homonulus Yuu is always watching...

With that range, I wonder if he could also see the other two?

It seems Angel Mika isn’t as healthy as he looks.

And lol at Mika and Yuu continuing their discussion about their similarities to Angel Mika.

Angel Mika started coughing out blood and his father says it’s because spending time outside made him sick. Shika Madu asked Angel Mika to go to the cleansing room which Angel Mika hates. He was able to convince the boy to go by asking what Angel Mika would do if their situation was reversed (with the dad being the sick one putting himself in danger).

Angel Mika apologizes and asked if he’d ever get better. His father reassures him that he would. Someday.

Mika and Yuu knew that it was a lie. Angel Mika didn’t and held onto it for hope.

The two are finally starting to figure out what’s going on. They’re now about to find out how things began which lead to where they are right now.

---

Hehe I knew the black eyeball thing was Yuu! I’m sure it’s not a big twist if you’ve seen so many other stories which lead up to the same twist though but still... I’m happy I figured it out before the reveal.

Anyways, Yuu could read the text on the tech stuff there although it gives him a headache. I guess he’s preprogrammed with important info already. I wonder if this has to do with resurrecting Angel Mika. Like maybe Yuu’s memories and knowledge could be transferred to Angel Mika once he’s back.

Also it sounds like Shika Madu had been using the homonculi to watch over or kind of babysit his son? What can they do though with them being just black orbs? But it seems homonculus!Yuu is doing his job while also indulging Angel Mika’s wishes - letting the boy go anywhere while watching over him.

Shika Madu said “Did you name your homonculus again?”. There’s that word: Again. So does that mean there are more of them that’s supposed to take care of Angel Mika? Where are they and what are the names they’ve been given? If homonculus!Yuu was the only one turned into a human later to resurrect Angel Mika, does that mean the other homonculus didn’t get to be as close to Angel Mika like homonculus!Yuu was?

There’s also just something... I’m not sure how to explain, just something with the way several panels are shown to let you see that homonculus!Yuu is watching Mika all the time. As if he’s taking in every single moment of Angel Mika’s life as a memory. I don’t know how to feel about that. It’s nice and also they’ve always been that close.

Again, it’s fun to see Mika and Yuu discussing things in the background with a bit of teasing and some jokes. Looking back at old art of OnS when Mika was still a vampire, it was just obvious how bad he’s feeling. Mika was always scowling unless he’s around Yuu-chan and even then, he still looks pained like he’s only going through everything just cause he wants to be with Yuu. The smiles weren’t that big and even the teasing usually has Mika being actually annoyed out of worry everything going on around them.

Here, Mika has been joking around, teasing Yuu, and despite how serious things might be, he looks like he’s actually happy.

Ah, not sure where to take this little essay now to as I have a few stuff in mind so okay... following the above! Back then Mika had been suffering and only thinking that as long as Yuu-chan is okay then that’s all that matters. Everything was life threatening for both of them and especially Yuu-chan’s well-being which Mika prioritizes most above even his own life.

Then last couple of chapters Yuu just goes “We’d do everything to save everybody and if we fail, then we fail. At least we tried!”. That’s it. Nothing to worry about: they’ve accepted that they might fail and die but it’s okay. As long as they’re together til the end (whatever that may be) then it’s okay.

Now it feels like an adventure instead of a really critical thing they have to deal with and always be serious about.

And Mika could still worry about Yuu but their future has already been decided in a way. It’s like he’s been freed from that something. Somehow, after following the story until now, that kinda makes me happy, too.

Anyways, Mika and Yuu points out the similarities they both have to Angel Mika. He does have some qualities of both although his looks are obviously more similar to Mika. Angel Mika is happy, he’s positive, he doesn’t follow rules if he could, he cares about others, he likes being around those he cares about, etc. Those are like both Mika and Yuu with their friendliness and care about those they love.

Yuu sort of was already like that in Ancient Greece, right? At least, the clone Yuu’s with emotions. Maybe those were Angel Mika’s personality just inserted into Yuu for preservation.

Mika was like that (or was trying to be all of that) before the apocalypse happened. He has a lot in common with his past self’s personality. Maybe also just preprogrammed?

Current Yuu wasn’t most of that before the apocalypse but got influenced to have the other more positive traits by being around Mika. Yuu always had that positivity with him not giving up even though things looked bleak. The friendliness though was something he probably learned from Mika alongside the whole “family” thing.

I’m just listing these out and dunno if they’d be important later but eh, they’re here now.

Okay, so Angel Mika was sick and there’s nothing Shika Madu could do about it. I wonder if Angel Mika actually believed his dad saying he could be cured or if he’s just trying to think positively again? Both the current Mika and Yuu realized it was a lie after all. I wonder if at this point Shika Madu already had planned on how to resurrect his son? Mika and Yuu both think this part of their memory is being shown to them cause the answer is here and it might mean seeing Angel Mika’s death and the beginning of the First Progenitor’s plan that spanned what... a million years?

I’m excited for the next chapter! I wonder if the questions would finally be answered? I’m still worried the others would catch Mika and Yuu in the real world though.

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[writer-and-artist27]

The End of Takatou Iori

Note: As a thank you thingie for @chiefladylightyay. The one way I can see Takatou Iori surviving after Judai’s Electric Boogaloo of sorts. If her beginning lines of dialogue to Judai were any indication, she deserves better. Just like how The Princess Bride gave the main cast a happy ending. 

So here we go. I hope you like this. I’m not sure how the fight would go, but here’s my take on the end.

The theme is split between two things: (1) Comeback Move, and (2) Determination, both from the original Japanese version of the Yu-Gi-Oh GX soundtrack. 

----------------------

Judai took a breath. The tanto’s grip in his hands was unfamiliar — far too smooth of a grip to really be like his old blade from the war. But Iori was still in front of him, looking very tempted to clash. His lungs were burning, she was huffing, but the battle was still on. The door was behind him, so if he made it through—

Wait for me, Hikari, he thought. I’ll come home soon.

Iori, as expected, charged first, wavy brown hair messy from blood. 

“HAAAAAA—!” her battle cry rang loud in Judai’s ears and he ducked her newest kunai strike to instead grab her wrist with one hand. Of course. She wanted revenge for her father. But the attacks were far too dull. Far too dead. Far too predictable.

It was like she wasn’t even trying and instead was wishing for death. 

He felt her pulse in that moment and paused. 

Just like me, before Hikari.

With the grab, she yelped and he simply pulled. With only one-fourth of his strength, he flipped her over his head and onto her back as hard as he could, making sure to slash her arms for good measure with his tanto hand. Of course, he avoided the wrists because there was no point spilling blood needlessly. Still. The scream that echoed afterwards would surely be haunting his nightmares. Iori squirmed, trying to move, but her arms were incapacitated. Judai had to make sure of that with the slashes from earlier. 

Now, for the key—

“You fool. How dare you—” Iori was still moving her legs. Judai narrowed his eyes, feeling the familiar flow of chakra go up to his vision with the gesture. She was trying to stand. “I-I’m not done—”

“Done, my ass. You should’ve killed me when you captured me,” he shoots back, and immediately crouches down to kick her feet out from under her. Iori squawks and this time, Judai reverses the grip on the tanto in his hands as fast as he can to slash. “By not doing that and instead giving me a weapon, you left me a turn to win.”

As expected, blood spurts out of her calves as Iori falls yet again, the scream on her lips as she does so.  

Judai puffs a breath while bringing his blade back and Iori is left lying on the tile floor of the dark and cramped room. The air smelled of iron and sweat, and it felt far too familiar. Far too ominous. For once, he’d take going to a hospital room than this place ever again. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Hikari.

His nerves wouldn’t let him have it. Iori was still breathing. Even after falling and having both her arms and legs rendered useless for any further combat, she was still breathing. 

Should he kill her?

He approached her anyways, shaking the thought out in exchange for thinking on the key. Thinking on going home. 

The bitter laugh that echoed in the room startled him, as minute as the feeling was in that moment.

“I see now…” What exactly? “I… never really wanted revenge.” 

Judai blinked blearily. Iori was smiling. It was a sad smile. 

Why was this reminding him of—

----------------------

“Judai, you should rest. You’re killing yourself.”

“…What if I want to kill myself?”

Lips were slamming into his and blue eyes were teary and burning into his once they pulled away. “Then I’m not going to let you! Because I want you to live!”

----------------------

Oh.

“I merely wished… to see… my parents. One last time.” Iori laughed, and this time the sound was punctuated by a wet cough. The bleeding must’ve come up to her lungs now. “I wonder, Hero, if you feel any remorse for killing my father?” There was another wet cough. Iori was still smiling, even with blood starting to pool under her limbs. “But I guess… It doesn’t really matter… anymore…”

Judai took one step towards her and then she grabbed his tanto-holding hand. He felt himself grunt as he was pulled downwards, and quickly found himself freezing as soon as his vision caught up with what happened.

Iori was pointing the tip of the blade towards her heart with that same smile on her face. 

“Okay, Hero… Set me free…” The smile transformed into something more genuine. “Please.”

Judai frowned. He could feel his chakra pulsate through his eyes, and he blinked them before taking a breath. It did not take much force to wrench her grip away, and her dead purple eyes blinked at him blearily. “No,” he said flatly. “After all the shit you pulled on me, no.”

“No…? Why…?” Iori laughs again, blood staining her clothes. “Is it because you’re finally feeling something like remorse? You’re finally feeling something in that iron-heart of yours?”

Judai takes a breath to calm any irritation, instead biting out, “Yes. My wife is good at that.”

Iori stops.

Judai immediately drops the tanto in his hands and tears off a bit of his pants, pressing the cloth into the nearest sword wound.

“What — what are you doing?” 

“You’re a missing nin,” Judai says casually, “and normally the village wouldn’t let you leave this place alive. But I’m not a ninja anymore.” He ties the knot without hesitation before taking a bit of his dirty shirt in his teeth to tear at it too. “So there’s nothing against a civilian taking in a former ninja to start anew. And besides.” He does his best to dust off any dirt on the cloth before starting the next informal bandage. “My wife would kill me if I came back with more blood on me.”

For the first time, Iori is giving him eyes that look alive. “You… You can’t be serious. I tried to kill you.”

Judai throws his head back and laughs. “It’s another Tuesday for me, Takatou, retired or not. And besides. Once I become a dad, I can’t handle the bar in the cafe forever.” His gaze hardens as soon as she lifts her head to look at him. “And I can’t let you leave this place with all the information you piled up on me anyways.”

“So…” Iori coughs again, “You’re suggesting I-I give up everything I have and just come back with you?”

“Hey.” Judai shrugs, giving her a dirty look. “A precious person of mine told me that they wanted me to live. And right now, I want you to live. It’s the least your parents would’ve wanted.”

“How dare you say that when you—”

“I never had anyone like parents to begin with, so at least cherish their memories when I can’t.”  

Iori falls silent. 

“I know I killed your father. I don’t know when, I can’t remember how, but things are different now. That same person of mine showed me how life is worth the pain and suffering. And I’d be damned to let someone else be fucking suicidal after my bout.” Iori is staring at him with a hint of light in those purple eyes now and Judai rolls his while offering a hand to her. “So let me bandage you up or so help me, because I can’t stand seeing other people be self-pitying.”

Iori stares. “I’ll… I’ll have to change my name. And my appearance, and everything.”

Judai shrugs his shoulders but pulls her up to sit anyways, still offering his other hand to her. “Konoha’s one of the nicest villages there is. We could just put you under a new name, play you off as searching for refuge. And quit looking so dead. Take the time to be yourself and stop chasing ghosts.”

The image of blue hair flashed through his mind’s eye and Judai paused. Iori continued to stare.

Judai puffed a breath and shook his head, absently kicking the tanto away from his feet. “Look, I’ve had enough of old demons. And I took on Hoshino as a name. Why can’t you do the same in finding one for your own? To let go.”

Iori fell silent again. Then she ducked her head. “…I always liked Mikazuki.” 

There was no mistaking the bloody hand slowly placing itself into Judai’s right palm. 

“New Moon?” Judai smirked and shook on it. “That’s fitting. Now give me the key. We need to go. Don’t be surprised if my wife yells at you.”

It was as if someone had pressed the pause button. “Your… wife?”

“She’s a beast in her own right.”

There were no more words exchanged after that.

----------------------

A few years later… 

“Mika-san! Mika-san!”

“Tomoko-chan, slow down! You’re going to hit something!”

The little black-haired girl grinned and shook her head. “I’ll be fine, Mika-san! You’re here with me!”

The former Takatou Iori sighed and shook her head, brushing short gray hair out of her face. It took a while to get gray hair dye, but no one was the wiser to her old Suna origins when she bought the hair color. Konoha’s sun let her lose some of her tan and for once, gray hair and purple eyes made her feel like a new person.

And for this little girl… 

“Mika-san, Mika-san! Hurry up! The library’s going to close in an hour!”

Iori wondered what her parents would think. What her father would think, with her being an auntie to the child of the person who killed him. But it was in the past. It was a what-if. 

It was time to face the future. A future she was blessed to have, in some way after defecting. After all, she could no longer call herself Iori when Sachi Mikazuki rolled off the tongue better. 

“Mika-saaaaaan!”

“I’m coming, Tomoko-chan, I’m coming.”

For this little girl, with a smile that shined like the stars that brought her to her new home, Mikazuki followed with newfound light in her eyes. 

[fantasyandromancelover]

The Tale of Tales Chapter 33

As the days went by Gray found himself enjoying his time with Juvia and Wendy. Wendy was such a cheerful and sweet kid who was a lot like the little sister he never had and he would never admit it or act like it but he liked spending time with Juvia most of all. She was so kind, caring, and thoughtful and she was always concerned for others, even when she was mad at them. He just couldn't understand how someone could be so kind and good.

"Gray!" She called to him one morning when he was digging holes for planting seeds in Wendy's garden. "Oh Gray I have something for you."

"Let me guess more buns? I told you I don't eat bread that much."

"Oh no it's something much more useful. It's something you can use when the storm clears up and we can leave."

She handed him a little box with ribbon tied around it. He untied the ribbon, opened the box, and found a grey scarf inside.

"Do you like it? I knitted it myself."

"What's this for?"

"Well you always seem so cold when you go outside so I thought that I would make you something to keep you warm."

"That's sweet but you didn't really have to."

"Of course I have to. I always make gifts for my friends."

"Friends?"

"Yes. I sewed a new shirt by hand for Gajeel, knitted gloves for Elfman, knitted a hat for Romeo, and embroidered a muff for Wendy. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't make you anything."

"We're friends?"

"Of course. You didn't think we were?"

"Well I mean...I...I haven't exactly been nice to you."

"True you can be a grouch most of the time but there have been times when you've been very sweet."

"When?"

"Well you saved my life twice, once from that man who tried to violate me in the village and a second time from drowning, then you helped me get that thorn out of my finger, and most of all you made me laugh harder than I ever had in a long time. I know you try to be cold and mean but deep down I think you're the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met."

Then she took him completely by surprise by hugging him. Gray felt his heart skip a beat and get a warm feeling. After realeasing him she went to back inside to help Wendy with cooking dinner. Gray looked down at the scarf she had given him. No one, no one had ever given him a gift before. At least not in the last ten years. He remembered the last present he had ever gotten. It was his eighth birthday and his parents had been saving up all their extra money to get him a present that year.

You see Gray had been born into a family living in poverty. They lived in a dirty old shack that had holes in the roof, no fire place, and only one bed. He and his mother always slept in the bed while his father slept on the floor, of course his mother always protested that she and her husband should swap off every night but Gray's father didn't believe in making a lady sleep on the cold hard floor especially when she was his wife.

His father named Silver worked as a woodcutter and his mother named Mika worked as a washer woman and they both worked so very hard but no matter how hard they worked it never seemed to be enough. They didn't even have enough money to send Gray to school so his mother had to teach him how to read, write, and do arithmetic. When Gray was six he insisted that he be allowed to help his father chop wood and sell it in the village. He remembered how his mother was all in a panic because she thought that Gray was too young and that he might accidentally chop off his arm or leg but he actually learned how to chop wood real well for his age.

His parents had never been able to afford a birthday present for him but because he had been working so hard to help out for the last three years they were determined to get him a present for his eighth birthday. They had managed to buy him two gifts. One was his very own hunting knife which Silver had bought in secret and it made Mika very upset when he gave it to their son and the second gift was a silver cross on a chain that was supposed to protect whoever wore it from wolves and witchcraft. He was so excited when he received his gifts and after his parents were killed he vowed that he would never take off the cross they gave him and he would keep that hunting knife with him always.

"What's taking so long!" An angry voice squawked startling him out of his memories. It was that crow who served as Minerva's spy. "It's been weeks, your foot is all better, and yet Juvia is still alive! Why is that?"

During all the time he had been spending with Juvia he had completely forgotten that he was supposed to kill her.

"Well there have been complications." He said. "And I haven't found the right moment to do it."

"How about tonight while she's sleeping? You're far from the dwarfs who would beat you to a pulp so there's nothing to stop you! Don't forget the reward you'll receive if you do it and if that doesn't puersasde you to hurry it up then the penalty for if you fail will."

"Uh what exactly are you going to do to me?"

"Don't fail me and you won't have to know."

Gray gulped as he watched the crow fly away. If the penalty was what he feared it was then he needed to kill Juvia tonight but could he really do it? After everything she had done for him? After she had been so kind to him? No. No he couldn't go soft now. Not when his life was on the line. Juvia was just another person he was paid to eliminate and nothing more. So that night when Wendy and Juvia were asleep, Gray quietly crept into the room where Juvia was sleeping.

She was sound asleep in bed completely unaware that in that moment she could be killed. Gray pulled out his dagger and prepared to plunge it right into her chest but found himself unable to bring the dagger's blade down to strike.

"Just do it!" His thoughts screamed at him. "It shouldn't be this difficult! You've done it before!"

But as he stared at her beautiful sleeping face he couldn't help but think back to how kind, gentle, sweet, and loving she was. To him and everyone else. She was so beautiful and innocent, she had never sought to harm another and was always trying to help others. She was his friend, she had cared for him, she had shed tears for him, and she had called him her friend.

"I can't! I can't do it!" He gasped dropping the dagger. Gray had no idea what had come over him but he just couldn't bring himself to harm Juvia and the mere thought of it terrified him more than anything in the world. "Dear God what has this woman done to me?"

...

The snow storm that was taking place outside of Wendy's magical home and garden was absolutely brutal. The wind was blowing hard and when it touched you it felt like a million shards of broken glass was cutting your skin and it was so cold that it was hard to see and even breathe. Lucy, Natsu, Erza, and Levy were struggling to get through the storm and reach some form of shelter before they all froze to death. Levy tried to use her magic to create an area with a warmer climate but she had been trapped for so long that it had made some parts of her powers difficult to control. One of the hardest was spells that involved weather and climate change. However she was able to create some warm winter coats for them.

"How much further til we reach the Magnolia village?" Natsu asked.

"Three miles." Erza said.

"We can't keep walking in this blizzard like this. We need to rest for the night." Levy said.

"But where are we supposed to rest?" Erza asked. "We're stranded in the middle of nowhere."

"Hey where's Lucy?" Natsu asked.

It wasn't until now that the friends realized that there was only three of them and that Lucy had mysteriously disappeared.

"She must've gotten lost." Levy said. "We better find her. You two search the ground, I'll try to fly up and look for her from a distance."

Hearing this Erza and Natsu quickly began searching for Lucy and calling out her name. Levy flew up into the sky and looked for her from there though the cold hurt her wings really bad.

"Lucy! Lucy where are you?!" Natsu called out. "Come on Lucy answer me! Damn it I can't see a thing in this blizzard! Lucy!"

He tripped over a rock that he didn't see but that allowed him to see something golden in the snow. It was hair. Natsu quickly crawled over to where the hair was, he brushed away the snow from it and found that it was connected to Lucy who was lying unconscious.

"Lucy!" He quickly got to his feet and placed his ear to her chest. Good she was still breathing. "Come on Lucy wake up! Don't die on me now! Come on!"

He gently shook her and much to his relief she started come to.

"Natsu?" She said dazed and confused.

"You alright?"

"Ugh...My whole body hurts. I don't think I can move."

"Can you hold on to my neck?"

"I think so."

Natsu took off his coat and covered her with it then he lifted her up on to his back and went to meet back with Erza and Levy.

"Guys we need to get Lucy out of this weather or she's a goner." He said.

"I saw a cottage just a little ways from here." Levy said. "We should be there in five minutes."

"Okay. Just hold on Lucy, we'll get you warmed up soon." Natsu told her.

[mathlovershugarl]

Mio vs the Twins

@tsundere-model I didn’t have my phone today (I forgot it at home again), so I didn’t really have anything to do during lunch. I decided I didn’t have the energy to work on fics, so here we go, a random drabble!

Annoyance.

A pink tail moved from side to side in annoyance. The usually well-groomed tail was in disarray due to his youngest siblings playing with it. No matter how many times he hissed and bat away their paws, they would continue to fight for his tail!

How ANNOYING!

Don’t they know that his appearance is everything? He was so cute and ~beautiful~ that people would fall over themselves to even get a moments worth of attention from him!

The nerve of these stupid brats! Not only do they mess with his fur, they also take so much attention away from him! The natural star of the family was being upstaged! He never asked for these… THINGS.

Why was it that his parents continued to keep them around?

In particular, the pink cat detested the puppy. Father gave her extra attention, because she was ‘like him,’ or whatever. If all he wanted was for someone to stupidly whine and wag a tail, he could do that too! As such, it’s perfectly okay to do away with them. Really.

He wanted to write a letter to the mayor or something and complain about how his parents weren’t paying attention to him anymore. Child neglect isn’t okay!

That being said, his parents paid attention him and took good care of him. Was that going to stop him from feeling slighted? Not at all!

“HISS!!!!” Brandishing his claws, he batted away a giant puppy, who yelped and moved away from his tail.

“S-Shaaaaaaaa” The other of the two nuisances hissed at him before moving to the now trembling puppy. The kitten quietly meowed and licked the top of the puppy’s head, as if attempting to groom her. The size difference was quite laughable as the kitten had to stand on his hind legs to even reach the top of her head.

Puppies grow so fast! Even Mio felt threatened by how big she was getting!

Upset that the kitten had hissed at him in warning (this kitten needed to be put in their place), he’d raised a paw, ready to smack the next ‘deserving’ victim, but he paused. Padded paws hitting the ground could be heard approaching the room. Shugarl had heard his baby girl yelp and he came to investigate.

1.) Mio looked away, tail smacking the tail with annoyance.

2.) His tail looked a mess.

3.) Lunar hid her face underneath her paws, her figure trembling.

4.) Blaze was doing his best to comfort his twin, the baby of the family.

Finally, he was blessed with a child who looked like a were-wolf, like himself. As soon as he entered the room, the puppy whined, running towards him. She hid herself between his massive paws.

!!!!

Pink fur bristled. That was HIS spot!

At this, Shugarl mentally sighed. He knew that children could get jealous of babies, but he didn’t think it would be this bad? Talia was independent, and she didn’t mind that Yuusei had attention. She was old enough to know better when he was born. The same went for Yuusei when Mio was born. He was old enough to not be too selfish and demanding of attention.

Talia was at a stage where she was a pre-teen when Yuusei was born. When Mio was born, Yuusei was a young boy who looked to be around 8 or 10 years old.

If Mio were to shift right now, he’d look like a 5-year-old child. This was probably one of the reasons why he wasn’t mature enough to ‘share’ his parents with the ‘new brats’ as he loved to call them.

Also regarding Yuusei, he’d always had a gentle temperament, so he rarely lashed out for any reason. He’d virtually never did anything that harmed his baby brother. Perhaps this is because he didn’t want to bully the small runt of a baby brother of his. Talia never bullied him, but she did tease him often.

Between the Yuusei-Mio sibling pair, Mio was the one who tormented his elder brother. This is where Yuusei’s saint-like patience came about. He would patiently wait until Mio would fall asleep to be freed from the menace. Mio was often seen crawling all over Yuusei, or playing with his tail.

It was the same thing, but Mio was selfish, and vain. He can play with everyone else’s tail, but no one can play with his! Soon, the small kitten crawled across the floor, fully intending to follow his littermate. He was still scared of this massive creature, but his sister was there! He wanted to follow her! They were littermates and they had to stay together!

(What? No, he wasn’t intending to use her as a warm pillow for his nap. He may be sleepy, and she may be super warm, but--- yeah, he wanted to take a nap next to his sister. That’s normal, okay? Kittens like to snuggle up to each other!)

Shugarl decided to lay down, to make himself look smaller, so the kitten wouldn’t fear to approach him. Meanwhile, his golden eyes lifted to watch Mio, who was still staring off into another direction. He was effectively pretending that his father didn’t just walk into the room because he’d smacked his sister.

If Izumi was home, he would have ran into the room the fastest. Alas, he was out shopping right now with Mika.

“Mio. Be patient with your new siblings. You can’t be selfish like this.”

“No! Did you SEE my beautiful tail? She deserved it! She also stole my spot! I don’t like her! Take her back!” Mio argued back, expecting to get rebuked. He’d gotten scolded over this multiple time by Izumi and Shugarl alike.

The exasperated father sighed, shaking his head. A vague memory popped into his head. He’d said a similar thing when Ponsol was born as well, but the reason for hating his sibling… was more emotional than anything. Thinking back on it now, he pitied his mother.

She had to raise both her sons on her own after she’d lost her husband.

Then you had your firstborn being a tyrant to the newest baby.

Guess… Mio gets that from him? Perhaps? No, it’s still possible he gets it from Izumi. This pink kitten was eerily similar to his mother, especially in attitude.

There was once a time when Izumi had asked him: ‘Where did your attitude come from?’ and Mio had responded by giving Izumi a judging look that seemed to say, ‘you’re really asking me that?’

As a good husband, he should defend his wife, but he was not the sort to lie. It was clear that Mio inherited his attitude problems from Izumi. Yes, as you’d expect, Izumi wasn’t happy with him that day.

“Mio, these are your new siblings. You should love and protect them. You know what people find very endearing? Someone who takes care of their younger siblings well. If you take photos with your siblings, you’ll gain even more attention.”

That’s right!

Mio Geripeta… the third youngest of the family… is an internet star! He was big on the internet! With his diva personality, Izumi jokingly made an account for him to show off his ‘attitude’ and ‘flair.’

Once Mio was old enough, he started to direct in which direction he wanted his twitter account to go. He would upload photos of himself and watch as comments adoring him would come flooding in.

If what Father said was true (when was he ever wrong?), then his popularity could skyrocket!

He’d almost considered it, if not for his poor tail didn’t come into view. THAT’S RIGHT, HE’S ANGRY! His fur bristled in anger.

“If you do this, I will brush you before bed every night.”

“Papa~ I love you!” Mio instantly teleported to Shugarl’s side, nuzzling his arm. “Love you too.”

A large were-wolf and his three children surrounded him, cuddling up to him comfortably. When Izumi returned with shopping bags on either arm, he’d see an image of all the children sleeping atop of Shugarl’s back, cuddling each other.

He’d asked what happened while he was out and Shugarl simply smiled and responded with: I made a transaction. What did you expect out of a businessman?

It may not be ideal, but it was a step in the right direction. Mio will eventually come around and learn to love his siblings. Isn’t it like how Izumi fell in love with Shugarl? They didn’t like each other at first, but as time passed, they learned more about each other and naturally fell in love with each other.

The father had the confidence that Mio will learn to love his youngest siblings. 

[alexismentallyunstable]

Airborne

As I sit on this ledge, all I can think about is how I got here. Every small detail of my life spun around in September of 2010. Would I ever have imagined myself at 18 living this life? Probably not. But, I guess fate always has its way. Who was I four years ago? I don’t know, but what I am sure of is that I wasn’t the brave girl with a voice that I am now. Four years ago, I wouldn’t have dared to cut my hair short. Four years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined that I was capable of Olympic gold. I always imagined what it would feel like to have total freedom and a dream career that’s worked out. Now, that is my life. Now, I can confidently say that I, Casey Emily Burke am capable of doing anything. This is my story.

We moved to Texas long ago. I was no older than twelve years when we came into this country that I now call home. Texas has given me so many opportunities that England never would’ve. I went to a proper school only after I came to Texas. My parents wanted me to carry their legacy forward. They wanted me to be an engineer. So, Mother homeschooled me in accordance with what would get me into a good university. Initially, school was a terrifying ordeal. My fancy dresses and long French braid made me a freak show on the first day. Every person I came across looked at me with amusement and wonder. Teachers, students, everyone. I only remember our first class clearly, the rest is all lost in a maze of memories. They called it homeroom. A lady with a broad smile entered. She wore a long black dress, had her hair in a hairnet, and wore too much makeup. As soon as she entered, the entire class stood up and wished her in a sing-song, rather boring manner. After she’d introduced herself, she passed out thick pink pieces of card paper. “Co-curriculars,” she said. I remembered reading about those in a book, but till then, I only thought of them as a fantasy, or at most, something which the richer people could afford to indulge in. As I stared blankly at the sheet of paper, a million thoughts raced in my mind. “What would mother think?” “Would father like this?” “But, none of this seems too appealing”.

I stared on until one struck me- horse riding. I’d seen, on television, people wearing crisp ironed coats jumping over obstacles and dancing to music that didn’t seem to exist. I immediately circled it, and the wide grin and sheer happiness on my face concerned my teacher so much that she came to see what was wrong. “Nothing,” I said and went back to filling it in. The next two choices were solely for my parents’ sake.

That day, when I went home, I told my parents about my first day of school, choosing co-curriculars, everything. My father looked up at me with hope- “So, may I know which co-curricular you chose?” he asked

“I chose study hall, art and drawing, and horse riding,” I replied, shaking with fear on the last one.

“Horse riding?” my father shrieked with surprise, “Have you lost your mind, Casey?”

“The Royal Family does it, father.” I protested.

“The Royal Family, Miss Burke. We will never even be half as rich as them.” he scoffed.

Meanwhile, my mother came in from upstairs.

“What’s all the noise?” she questioned.

“This daughter of yours has chosen horse riding as a co-curricular” my father replied curtly.

Mother dropped the pile of laundry in her hand rather dramatically and sat against the wall crying as though the world had ended.

Ignoring her, my father went on to say, “Do not let that affect your grades, else, the consequences shall be harsh.”

Not knowing what to say, and not having the courage to fight back, I ran back to my room. For Mother, the world had ended, but for me, it seemed as though the universe had come to a sudden halt.

That night, I cried. I cried like a defeated warrior. Nobody came to comfort me, and I didn’t want to go to anyone for comfort. Comfort wasn’t something I needed. I needed a better weapon. So what if I’d lost the battle? There was still a war bound to happen. I didn’t know then how violent the war would be.

My lessons happened every day, and as time went by, my love for the sport kept growing. I started to zone out in class; I would do everything mechanically, not understanding one bit of what the teacher would say. As my level in riding grew, my level in academics fell. I would come home from my lessons after school everyday, worn-out, just waiting to fall asleep. As a result, I would delay everything- homework, dinner, sleep. I hardly ever finished my homework, and my father would whip me every day if I didn’t do it. The fact that I failed four of seven subjects in the first semester just made the situation worse.

A few months after my lessons, which happened every day, a letter came home. The declaration of war, I must call it. I knew that their response would be uninviting, if not threatening. As I walked the cobblestone path, I looked up at every tree, wishing it would fall down and end my misery. How thankful I am now that wishes don’t always come true. Upon reading the letter, my mother beat me up with a rolling pin and my father with his belt. The usual. It happened every day because my lessons were every day. Why my parents didn’t approve of it is still a mystery.

After what seemed like an eternity, the day of the competition came. I packed some Pop-Tarts in my bag and walked the same cobblestone path, this time not wishing for trees to fall down.

I’d never been more excited about anything than I was for the competition that day. But as the bus came to a halt near my house, I realized that this was the last time I’d see anything with “Horseshoe Lands” written on it. I carried the thought with me. This would be my last day with my beautiful appaloosa mare. The last day with the rest of the team- they weren’t in the same school, in fact, most of them didn’t even live in San Antonio. Though I didn’t believe in God then, I prayed to some higher entity to give me more days there.

As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw Moonlight across, in the paddock, grazing. My eyes met hers, and this time, I fought back tears. As I got off, I concluded that nobody cares for a British expatriate living in America. After all, I was quite different from the rest of them. But after that day, I never jumped to conclusions again.

We got off the bus, and saw our instructor standing, waiting for us.

“Okay champs!” she began, launching into her usual lectures and instructions. In spite of having learnt the entire thing word for word, I usually paid attention. But on that day, my mind was in a different dimension. As she rambled on for two minutes, my thoughts were lost in a deep labyrinth, one that wouldn’t really have ended. I thought about my parents, at the dinner table, thinking how they had managed to over-indulge their child to such a great extent. I thought of Moonlight, enjoying her breakfast, not knowing what lay in store for us both. I thought of the team-Juanita, Andrea, Mika, everyone.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my back. I jumped. “M-m-miss Cynthia” I managed to stumble, before breaking into a sob. If there was one woman on this entire planet who understood me, it was Cynthia. “I know how you feel, dear,” she said, pulling me into a tight hug. Crying in the arms was new, and felt quite foreign. However, it was then that I realized that the weapon I needed was actually comfort. “Get going. It’s gonna be a long day,” she said, wiping my eyes with her sleeve.

I entered Moonlight’s stable, and for the last time, groomed her, fed her, and tacked her up. “I am going to miss you, beautiful,” I said as I brushed the curry comb over her. She seemed to feel the sadness and pulled me into a tight hug. I cried as I tacked her up, then left to get myself ready. I wore the same crisply ironed coats I’d seen Ben Maher wear on the television. It felt rather odd to be riding in these clothes- I hadn’t even touched my white breeches or my tall leather boots. That day, I wore them with a sort of pride.

Almost twelve hours later, the results were announced- our team won by a point. We won two other awards- the one for the winning rider (which I won) and one for the most graceful rider (which Andrea won). Everyone congratulated us- even our rival teams. I thought I’d finally proved myself to my parents. I searched for them in the crowd but found them hiding behind other people with shame. They followed the other parents to the dorm and found me celebrating with Cynthia and the team. I’ll never forget the look on their face. Even fury is an understatement to the look on their face. They looked murderous, almost. I wanted to free myself from their prison, I wanted to ignite another fire. I wanted to shout to them, “I can do it and I will.”

But I lacked the courage. The thing about confidence is that you think you are the most dauntless person in the world until it’s time to prove it.

I walked hesitantly towards them, preparing myself for what was coming. I wouldn’t ever have expected a “Congratulations” or an “I’m proud of you” from them. And sure enough, I was greeted by “Is this what you’ve learned from the world’s finest engineers?”

I held my head down. Not with shame, but to hide the fire that had lit inside me. Memories flashed in my head. Memories of the good times with the team and with Moonlight. Memories of battle scars- theirs and mine, for sometimes, your own sword can injure you. Losing wasn’t a choice for me, but winning wasn’t an option either. I didn’t surrender to the enemy or plant my flag in their territory, yet, I felt then that the war was long over. It wasn’t, until that day. The one fateful day my parents couldn’t seem to pull the reins on their own anger.

After what seemed like years of lecturing and arguing, my father decided that enough was enough. He took off his belt, and I knew what was coming. “Crack!” down came the whips, one after the other, never stopping. Everyone squealed. For the first time, I saw fear in Cynthia’s eyes. Tired with the day’s events already, I collapsed to the ground after the first few whips. That was when everyone freaked out. Everyone ran out, but Cynthia stayed.

“Excuse me, sir, that is wrong. And illegal.” she scolded my father, her eyes full of anger and apathy. For some inexplicable reason, my father was terrified of every woman except his wife. An angry woman yelling at him with rage was just too much for him, and he was silenced.

But my mother wouldn’t ever have been silenced by a woman scolding her, who earned nothing in comparison to what my mother earned. She continued the fight, “Who, in God’s name, do you think you are? The Queen?”

Cynthia didn’t lose her cool at all. I was surprised by the composure this 26-year-old high school dropout had. I would never have imagined Mother to be so calm and composed in such a situation- her outburst on Cynthia proved exactly that. “Ma’am, if I’m not wrong, this is the 21st century. There ain’t no Queen no more. I don’t know ‘bout the government back in Britain, but I think America’s progressed. We got what they call democracy. Check your facts, lady.” she shrieked.

My mother was a huge patriot. Anyone abusing the Union Jack was enough to not just keep her quiet, but even to make her scared of that person. Which is exactly what happened. Being called a “lady” only insulted her more.

As Cynthia thought of what to do next, a young gentleman walked in. He had his hair colored a shade of blue, and wore shorts and a t-shirt; an attire my parents would detest. “Chris! Perfect.” Cynthia squealed.

“The hell’s going on?” he demanded.

“That’s Casey and that’s her parents. We won the competition ’cause of her, but her parents don’t take much of a liking to it. Don’t ask why. So, her dad right here beat her up, and I stopped him after she collapsed. That set off an argument.” Cynthia said, her head and arms moving from person to person.

“Oh, good Lord.” Chris cried, looking around at the mess that had been created.

He began his proceedings by picking me up, “You fine, kiddo?”

I nodded my head and took a bottle of water from the ice box. I almost choked on the water, as he introduced himself. “My name’s Christopher Adner. I work for the San Antonio Police Department. Kid, come with me.” he said, nodding towards me.

I looked up, nearly choking on the water, eyes wide.

“Me?”

“Yep.” A thousand thoughts came to my mind. Had I put myself in more trouble? I didn’t know the law in Texas, and I thought I did something wrong. I prayed for the millionth time that day, not knowing what to do, and followed him all the way to a room inside. What if he wasn’t a police officer, and wanted to do something wrong?

“Where are we going?” “Interrogation time,” he said as if he was a police officer in a cartoon series for children.

He sat down, patting on the space in front of him. I sat down cross-legged. I’d never imagined interrogations to go this way. I always imagined that interrogations were held in a top-secret room, with a table, and a mirror which allows people to see what’s going on inside the room while keeping what’s outside hidden. Here, he just turned on a microphone attached to a computer and began with the questions.

“So, Casey, right?” he began

I nodded, scared stiff.

“Okay. You need to be a hundred per cent honest here. I didn’t do all the exams and training for the heck of it, so I know when people are lying. Nobody except the police and court are going to find out unless you allow them to. So, feel at home. Okay?” he said, trying to be reassuring, but only scares me more.

“How often are you hit? ’Cause this could count as both corporal punishment and child abuse.”

“I’m hit every day or every other day, but this isn’t all they do,” I responded. For some unknown reason, I felt at home with him and shared every single detail.

“What else?” “They call me all sorts of things- you have no idea. Mother hits me with ladles, at times, and they usually don’t associate themselves with me.”

He asked me more and more questions and finally asked for proof.

“You mean take my shirt off? Not a chance.” “Do you wanna live like this?” “Not really, I don’t.” “Then you know what to do.”

I reluctantly took off my shirt. Red and brown scars lay over my back like warriors dead in a battle. Some wounds were theirs and some my own. Sometimes, your own sword ends up hurting you. He called out a malediction, and went on, “This is too much Casey. You really should’ve approached someone much before this. I hope you don’t mind a few trips to the court.”

“What?” I cried out. The last thing I’d expected him to say was court. I was only fourteen, knew close to nothing about American laws, and the last thing I wanted to do was get in legal trouble. I started trembling. “Nothing to worry about. Cynthia’s sister is a good lawyer.” “I don’t want this,” I said.

Now, I am glad he didn’t take me seriously.

“But I do,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I inquired further.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to do something for society. My job’s arresting people who’ve seriously screwed up. Murder, kidnapping, rape. I deal with that every single day. This is new. It’s different. I want to do this. The stuff I deal with is something that happens to the victims once, maybe twice. I would love to help someone who’s been dealing with this all her life. And that someone just happens to be you. Besides, you don’t really have a choice in this. The law and government decides, and has decided that this case will be taken to court..” he said, suddenly turning serious.

Scared to death, I followed him out of the room, with him holding my shoulder tightly, walking behind me.

I didn’t see his face then, but I can say confidently that he must’ve looked alarming, for my parents turned into sheets.

“I’ve seen and recorded everything,” he said.

Cynthia smiled, her eyes wild. I had no idea then that what she’d do would liberate me for life. “There are two things that we’re going to take you to court for- corporal punishment and child abuse.” Christopher continued.

My parents agreed reluctantly, only because they were insisted to do so by law. The court proceedings took place one after the other. Evidence after evidence collected, and a thousand interrogations made. One day, the court, upon gathering enough strong evidence, declared my parents guilty of child abuse, and they were arrested, and later, I found out, deported. Meanwhile, I lived in this horrid place where other children like myself were kept, along with orphans. Later, after my parents were arrested, Chris and Cynthia adopted me. After even more legal procedures, I was finally free. Free from not just the juvenile, but from the chains that long-held me back. Free from the war prison that my parents turned the house into. Most importantly, free to do what I wanted and could do. Free to be me.

As I think about all this, I find this ledge is far more appealing than that old mahogany chair on which I’ve sat with bruises and tears. This is my life. This is how I want to live. And my story has just begun.