#<- eternal problem for me
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another poll because I'm bored
feel free to ramble about it in the tags I love hearing about people's lives
#for me I did have the goal#and at the start of highschool they were really trying to push for me to advocate for my needs#because I didnt know what I needed#<- eternal problem for me#but my sophomore year I turned into a TERROR#I would fight my teachers about everything#and at the end of highschool I had chilled a bit (so no longer making teachers cry)#but I would exploit my IEP goal to just be a nightmare and get everything I wanted#and in my IEP meetings I would FIGHT them about what I wanted lmao#so my mom jokes that they started wanted me to self advocate and ended wanting me to stop#actually autistic#actuallyautistic#autism#neurodivergent
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mother,
#elden ring#messmer the impaler#elden ring messmer#malenia#queen marika#marika the eternal#love this terrible dysfunctional consanguine family <333#give me a lanky inbred boy with eye problems and mommy issues and i'll do a thousand fanarts of them for sure#there's A Pattern here.............#doflamingo fufufufuing from the depth of impel down...#also sorry for disappearing for like a year it'll happen again#i went through all 7 circles of hell at least twice these past few months and have hit my worst artblock since art school#art#sketches
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not to be controversial on main, but i really do feel like way more people would enjoy maths if someone properly explained it to them & they didn't have a hanging threat of failing an exam above their heads
#it's genuinely so nice to try mathematics outside of academic setting!#look at me solving numbers' wee riddles three! they are speaking to me!!!!!#it's like being a detective in the world of formulas. liek evolution. like constant battke of survival#everytime you learnt a new tactic to solve a problem. another obstacle appears#me and math are locked in eternal dance where we fight like enemies yet are unable to live without each other like lovers#there's no math without mind being able to percieve. and there's no seeing reality without perceiving maths#AND NUMBERS ARE. EVERYWHERE#don't get me wrong i'm not an analytical kinda person. i was always the english & biology type of kid and physics was my enemy in school#BUT IF YOU LOOK AT IT RIGHT. YOU TOO CAN LEARN TO APPRECIATE MATH#math#ramblings
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Fic: womb, cursed [Jujutsu Kaisen, Gojo/Geto]
Word Count: 3294 Rating: Mature Summary: “The great and powerful Gojo clan can't hurt me anymore. They need me too much now that I’ve fully awakened Limitless.” Satoru slugged his second cola back and glanced sidelong across the bench at Suguru. “So you're going to help take my uterus out.” Suguru gave a smile that was much too calm and remained staring straight ahead. “Am I. Why?” In which teen Gojo gets a home hysterectomy and absolutely no one is having a good time.
Ft. Trans Gojo! Hot Premature Death summer! The worst possible way of dealing with distance between you and your boybestie!
This is possibly the most unhinged fic I've ever written. This doc was titled "Gojo's evil and gay hysterectomy" if that helps get the vibe across. Enjoy?
#jjk tag#eternal shoutout to brenna for listening to me develop this whole idea from basically beginning to end#I pondered what I might be saying about transness and bodily autonomy with this one and it might truly be nothing#gojo's just having an unhinged gay moment#I know that I am in control of how I write him but I kept writing gojo saying stuff and going 'what the fuck is his problem?'#fandom tboy gojo is NOT toxic enough#he simply cannot deal with being trans like anyone else due to his unique position in society#yeah I do think the clans would not be normal about this#yeah I also do think child marriage is an endemic problem in jujutsu society#sounding writes fic#mine
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Are the Pargrunen supposed to be some flavor of fantasy slavs? I'm going purely off of names (like Lena and Kostya) and the fact that some residents of Solace Keep have a very noticeable accent.
#or maybe it's the mountain dwarves as a whole?#I mean I already wanted to talk about how much the lembur word 'saca' reminds me of 'ссака' but I thought it was just a me problem lol#if that's the case then marius is just like me fr fr#avowed#pillars of eternity
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Every post I've made here recently I feel radiates this energy to some degree
#sludgetalkz#sperklacera#anticare#look okay. if my vivid memories of seeing the preboot an eternity ago are anything to go off of#as well as the reboot seeming to just follow me around in ways only my schizophrenia can explain#then along with the whims of my autism I must accept am simply stuck here forever and im making it everybodys problem including my own
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Here's a staff interview from Gadget News.
The small ("able to be attached to bags" kind of small) and big Wombat plushies will be available in machines from Feb. 14th 2025 at 12 am. Prizes will be delivered in Jun. - Jul. 2025. These Wombat plushes have 10th anniversary designs (the little hearts) on them.

The film frame bookmarks are about to run out, so make sure to get them while stock is still available.

This picture from Miku Yoneyama celebrating the release of the movie was posted to the Studio Comet X account.

Thanks to everyone who attended the staff talk show yesterday (yesterday was Feb. 12th 2025). The man on the right in the image is Takamatsu, so the man on the left is Yamazo. Don't forget to use the hashtag #愛LOVE防衛部 for movie impressions. Also, Yamazo says he wants to do a soundtrack live show. (The MC for the talk show was You Tokou, who was responsible for promotion.)



Yamazo forgot to say this during the talk show, but he took photos of the making of the Boueibu movie's background music. To see more footage from Yamazo, check out his YouTube channel.

The Chara's pop-up shop will be available starting on Feb. 18th 2025 (in JST). There will be "instant photo style bromides", acrylic hair ties (blind packaging) and "aurora acrylic figures".



For the Tokyo Dome collab, the AR experience involves you becoming Wombat and gathering Binan High graduates to form a grass baseball lot team. You can even dive into the water of the Kurotamayu and hear a splash noise when it happens. You, 10 years in the future, might not reunite with Yumoto?! The characters put you on the spot, so if you hesitate, the characters also make statements as if they're watching you. You can see a sample of the experience here.
(Update: Fixed the 2nd Yamazo dot point.)
#boueibu#Wombat#Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu ETERNAL LOVE!#anime merch#(Turns out you win the prizes from the crane games and then they get sent to you.)#The Chara#Shinji Takamatsu#Yamazo#anime event#(I'm not sure whose hand that is on Takamatsu's shoulder...it might be Tokou or it might be Kawahara...)#anime collab#(/Just/ as I was about to release this post I thought I read the post wrong...)#(...because Lauren said something slightly different in the Boueibu Discord. It was likely she said that based on X's MT...)#(...which said the same thing.)#(However Yamazo's channels only have content for other series's music AFAIK so I thought it was a bit sus...)#(I suspect “satsuei” - which covers both capturing photo and video content - was the problem.)#(Btw seeing this pic of Yamazo on my timeline gave me that surreal feeling like I was seeing a teacher of mine on TV or something...)#(It put a face to the many tweets I've dealt with over the years. *sweatdrops*)
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Cheng Xin!
#three body problem#3 body problem#三体#cheng xin#程心#my art#cheng xin!! got the time to do digital art of her since i do draw her in my note margins or my little sketch book#i want to make an ai aa and yun tianming design later definitely!#this is my my personal design for her! i felt like a braid would be a good fit for her due to a superficial resemblance to dna#she's grown quite a bit on me and one of the things i've been thinking about recently is time in relation to her character#especially the eternalist perspective from the philosophy of time which is the idea that past-present-future all exist#by contrast to presentism which you can probably infer centers on the present instead#some aspects of eternalism definitely can be applied to cheng xin's characterization and the trilogy as a whole#(especially with death's end!)#i think about the weight of all history when it came to the swordholder scene a lot regarding this
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...
#it's strange to have a self contained perfectionism. i know other people who wish they could control other people out of being chaotic.#people who try to make everything black or white. people who want to always be in control of their situation and the big dangerous vehicles#they travel within. but that's not how my control issues manifest. i think people are allowed to be messy and irratic. i like when#situations and ideas are nuanced. i would rather not be in complete control of my surroundings. the only thing i need complete and utter#control of is myself. i am not allowed to be messy. i want everything about myself to be black or white. i want to have complete control of#this human vessel. my perfectionism is self contained. and its deeply irrational. and deeply frustrating because my perfectionism is#imperfect and lazy. because im getting better and its difficult but easier than i would have expected. and rationally i know thats a good#thing but then all i see is my lack of conviction. if i was more perfect i would be worse. if i was more perfect someone would have noticed#how sick i was or would have actually said or done something. someone would have stopped me. so i wasnt really that sick and im not really#that sick now. and its not a big deal. because it all seems so easy now. so it seems like i was just a slightly odd very quiet kid with#control issues who stopped eating and never learned how to take up any space. and i get so fucking frustrated at every doctor i talk to#because they all treat me so gently and talk to me so cautiously and i know thats their job and i know they're saying the right things. but#its not like i stumbled blindly into this. i did it intentionally and maliciously. i know its a road paved in suffering and ending in death.#that was the point. this wasnt born of vanity it was born of malice. and youre only worried now because im telling you to worry so shut the#fuck up and let me fix my own problem. its just that i never intended to make is this far and that me of the past was trying to poison my#future. so i have 15yrs curroded and spongy from wishing death upon myself. and now that the idea of my box of ashes sitting on my dad's#mantle next to my mom's rips me apart i have to find a new path forward. even when all i can think is that i still wish i was worse#resenting that i have to get better when it feels easier to be distructive. if you hand me a knife my instict is to twist it in my gut. so#what now? its just irritating. because i always was and remain a picky eater so i have to choose to choke down whats on my plate.#anyway. just another adventure in the eternal paradox of internal perfectionism while being a compulsively analytical ecologist.#unrelated
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Can't stop thinking abt arcane s2, specifically the alternate timelines episode where jayce goes through it and ekko does science.
By the time we'd reached that episode, my sibling and I already disliked the season and were just watching it to see if it managed to get any better later on.
So we were chilling, making fun of this or that and wondering why the pacing was so strange when we started seeing the telltale signs of romance between ekko and powder/jinx. Now, my first thought was "really???" because I'm a hater of 99% of romantic pairings in media and don't find it enjoyable to watch/read. My second thought was "wait wait wait, hold up. explain how this timeline hopping works Right Now."
And thus the alarm bells starting going off as my mind worked overtime to try to figure out how this works. Is this timeline more like an illusion than a concrete world, where the people there will cease to exist when heimerdinger and ekko leave? Did the ekko and heimerdinger of this world get swapped with the ones we've been following? Are our guys in the bodies of their counterparts?
I would have had these thoughts regardless, because I quite enjoy overanalyzing media. The reason the alarm bells were ringing was because, depending on the answer to those questions, the romance between ekko and jinx/powder gets questionable.
As the episode continued it became clear that our ekko (ekko1) was very different from the ekko (ekko2) the people of this new timeline know and expect (which makes sense). To be clear, at this point, regardless of how the timeline hopping works, the romance is Very Uncomfortable. Ekko1 and ekko2 are clearly different people/characters. They could be likened to identical twins, really.
So. We're watching the episode. I'm crocheting a far too long single chain because it's all I know how to do. Sibling is judging me for my single chain of weird, sad brown yarn.
Dance scene comes up. We mock it, as we do with things we find strange, unnecessary, and annoying. The lingering sound of alarm bells is fostered by dread as we watch powder think she's hanging out with her pal ekko2 in a romantic way. The dread grows and the bells clang as we realize "they're going to kiss".
They kiss.
We sit for a moment, silence creeping in as the bells start dying. The episode plays on.
We look at each other.
The episode is finished in disappointed and disgusted silence.
Perhaps my horror was more visceral than my sibling's, as this episode has certainly not stuck with them as it did me, but I just. Whatever cute relationship stuff the creators were going for was ruined Immediately.
Powder kissed someone because she thought they were someone else, and there was nothing done to correct that assumption or apologize or anything. Ekko1 kissed powder while she thought he was ekko2 and that just feels gross and awful to me.
Now, was ekko1 thinking of it like that? I seriously doubt it. Were the creators thinking of it like that? I also doubt it.
But sometimes I just sit and think abt how powder didn't know that it wasn't ekko2 she kissed until ekko1 dipped out of ekko2's body to go back to his own timeline. What did she think about that? After the confusion, what feeling came next?
So yeah, this episode of arcane s2 is on my list of Horrifying Romances, right there with 50 first dates
#how does one tag a text post? no idea lets wing it#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#arcane s2 ep7#pretty sure its ep7 at least#surely my inability to remember titles and numbers won't cause any problems#so maybe im overreacting to this episode#but i can't imagine kissing my boyfriend only to discover that it was actually just a guy who looked exactly like my boyfriend thats been#pretending to be my boyfriend for who knows how long#like thats scary right#its scary to me#anyway i have 2 lists of Horrifying Romances#one for ones ive personally witnessed#and one for ones ive not personally witnessed#the 2nd one is much longer because i try to avoid romance in media when i can#its just not my jam yknow#the reasons why its not my jam are numerous and perhaps worthy of their own discussion but meh#would it be petty to add this episode to my reasons why i dont like romance#cause if given a few thousand words i can absolutely defend adding it#idk i just keep seeing people loving this ep and the ekko/powder relationship in it but i just feel sick#maybe its a me problem#but its absolutely part of why arcane s2 is my eternal enemy#my list of media that i hate is short but by god arcane s2 made it in with points to spare
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Sigh of relief... Finally getting some writing in...
#I think it's been at least two weeks#that's an eternity for me to not write anything#stupid sewing projects and garden project and family obligations taking up all my time#writer problems
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Feeling crazy about ocs again is such a good feeling. I remember feeling like this 5 years ago back when I was writing and posting stuff about them consistently. If things keep going like this, I could be there again…making everyone look at me play barbies
#the scary part is that the horrific depression that followed lasted 4 years so hopefully that doesn’t happen again!! 🤗#thankfully horrible people are out of my life and I blocked people who were mean to me and I will shame them for eternity#and I only ever met one of my supposed dads and have no intention of doing that again#so if one dies that’s simply not my problem to weigh upon me with a thousand tons of grief#now it’s just school stressing me out but u know what…I’ll take it#prawn posts
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this is their dynamic to me
#i'm very much a believer that BOTH of them repress their feelings actually#i think the reason ppl wouldn't assume that ilana is the type of person to do that is bc how she makes a conscious effort#to present herself as someone who's (deceivingly) an open book#when there's alot of things abt her that's hiding underneath her friendly and happy exterior#like i literally can't stop thinking abt the homecoming ep#and how @ the start of that ep when lance asks her if she's ok and says she's fine when she's not#the whole reason why she poured so much work into the dance and why she snapped when they were fighting that mutraddi monster#when lance had the nerve to say it was just some stupid dance#she was literally using that as a means to cope w her feelings of homesickness bc likely felt she couldn't talk to lance or octus abt it#bc to her everyone sees her as this perfect and dutiful princess/girl that always knows what to do and this eternal optimist#i also could see ilana having a tendency to help other people's problems as means of avoiding her own problems#and thinking that theirs are far more important than hers#because in her mind her problems aren't really that much of a big deal and really it's fine#because after she should able to handle it no problem because she does such a good job at handling everything else#didn't expect my tags for this to result in me extrapolating as what i think ilana's potential issues could be but yeah#sym bionic titan#robi rambles
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i should make some rent lowering posts but im too tired to thing of any good ones. idk i could make a siscon post here i think most of the kinds of people i dont like happen to get really mad at that kinda thing too.
#but also i dont really want to deal with people being pissy at me#the eternal problem with posting good
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they need to make AUs that are less mind consuming so I can finish my SoM chapter 3 fic or study for exams or do other responsibilities fr. anyways in the DBH Murdle AU do you think Irratino would call android Logico "Starlight" because the little LED in his temple is another little glowing light that lets him get a glimpse into the unknowable, aka what's going on inside Logico's head as he's processing things. do you think one of the first instabilities in Logico's software was to have 'starlight' register as a name he'll respond to, despite no one asking him to do so. do you think he realizes this and knows he should delete it, it's a one off comment and probably indicative of a glitch but he hesitates for reasons he can't articulate.
#girl help!!! help!!! this concept was supposed to be me mashing two fandoms together like barbie dolls and now it's consumed me!!!!#though what did i expect in combining murder mysteries and robots. two of my favorite things. that's on me actually#productivity is temporary blorbos from my puzzle books are eternal#and that's everyone elses's problem now#lunar's post#do I murdle tag this? murdle AU tag this? cook up a name for this AU? if i make more posts like this then yeah maybe lmao
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