#<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along

[charrfie]

[path-of-my-childhood]

The Story Behind Every Song on folklore - According to Aaron Dessner

By: Brady Gerber for Vulture Date: July 27th 2020

The National multi-instrumentalist spoke to Vulture over the phone from upstate New York a few hours after the surprise release of Swift’s eighth studio album. (“A pretty wild ride,” he admits, sounding tired yet happy.) He was clear that he can’t speak on behalf of Swift’s lyrics, much like he can’t for The National frontman Matt Berninger’s either, or the thinking behind Jack Antonoff’s songs. (Here’s a cheat sheet: Jack’s songs soar, Aaron’s glide.) But Dessner was game to speak to his specific contributions, influences, and own interpretations of each song on folklore, a record you can sum up by two words that came up often during our conversation: nostalgic and wry.

“the 1″

“the 1” and “hoax,” the first song and the last song, were the last songs we did. The album was sort of finished before that. We thought it was complete, but Taylor then went back into the folder of ideas that I had shared. I think in a way, she didn’t realize she was writing for this album or a future something. She wrote “the 1,” and then she wrote “hoax” a couple of hours later and sent them in the middle of the night. When I woke up in the morning, I wrote her before she woke up in LA and said, “These have to be on the record.” She woke up and said, “I agree” [laughs] These are the bookends, you know?

It’s clear that “the 1” is not written from her perspective. It’s written from another friend’s perspective. There’s an emotional wryness and rawness, while also to this kind of wink in her eyes. There’s a little bit of her sense of humor in there, in addition to this kind of sadness that exists both underneath and on the surface. I enjoy that about her writing.

The song began from the voice memo she sent me, and then I worked on the music some and we tracked her vocals, and then my brother added orchestration. There are a few other little bits, but basically that was one of the very last things we did.

“cardigan“

That’s the first song we wrote [in early May]. After Taylor asked if I would be interested in writing with her remotely and working on songs, I said, “Are you interested in a certain kind of sound?” She said, “I’m just interested in what you do and what you’re up to. Just send anything, literally anything, it could be the weirdest thing you’ve ever done,” so I sent a folder of stuff I had done that I was really excited about recently. “cardigan” was one of those sketches; it was originally called “Maple.” It was basically exactly what it is on the record, except we added orchestration later that my brother wrote.

I sent [the file] at 9 p.m., and around 2 a.m. or something, there was “cardigan,” fully written. That’s when I realized something crazy was happening. She just dialed directly into the heart of the music and wrote an incredible song and fully conceived of it and then kept going. It harkens back to lessons learned, or experiences in your youth, in a really beautiful way and this sense of longing and sadness, but ultimately, it’s cathartic. I thought it was a perfect match for the music, and how her voice feels. It was kind of a guide. It had these lower register parts, and I think we both realized that this was a bit of a lightning rod for a lot of the rest of the record.

The National’s Influence On Swift

She said that she’s a fan of the emotion that’s conveyed in our music. She doesn’t often get to work with music that is so raw and emotional, or melodic and emotional, at the same time. When I sent her the folder, that was one of the main feelings. She said, “What the fuck? How do you just have that?” [laughs] I was humbled and honored because she just said, “It’s a gift, and I want to write to all of this.” She didn’t write to all of it, but a lot of it, and relatively quickly.

She is a fan of the band, and she’s a fan of Big Red Machine. She’s well aware of the sentiment of it and what I do, but she didn’t ask for a certain kind of thing. I know that the film [I Am Easy To Find] has really affected her, and she’s very much in love with that film and the record. Maybe it’s subconsciously been an influence.

“the last great american dynasty”

I wrote that after we’d been working for a while. It was an attempt to write something attractive, more uptempo and kind of pushing. I also was interested in this almost In Rainbows-style latticework of electric guitars. They come in and sort of pull you along, kind of reminiscent of Big Red Machine. It was very much in this sound world that I’ve been playing around with, and she immediately clicked with that. Initially I was imagining these dreamlike distant electric guitars and electronics but with an element of folk. There’s a lot going on in that sense. I sent it before I went on a run, and when I got back from the run, that song was there [laughs].

She told me the story behind it, which sort of recounts the narrative of Rebekah Harkness, whom people actually called Betty. She was married to the heir of Standard Oil fortune, married into the Harkness family, and they bought this house in Rhode Island up on a cliff. It’s kind of the story of this woman and the outrageous parties she threw. She was infamous for not fitting in, entirely, in society; that story, at the end, becomes personal. Eventually, Taylor bought that house. I think that is symptomatic of folklore, this type of narrative song. We didn’t do very much to that either.

“exile” (ft. Bon Iver)

Taylor and William Bowery, the singer-songwriter, wrote that song initially together and sent it to me as a sort of a rough demo where Taylor was singing both the male and female parts. It’s supposed to be a dialogue between two lovers. I interpreted that and built the song, played the piano, and built around that template. We recorded Taylor’s vocals with her singing her parts but also the male parts.

We talked a lot about who she thought would be perfect to sing, and we kept coming back to Justin [Vernon]. Obviously, he’s a dear friend of mine and collaborator. I said, “Well, if he’s inspired by the song, he’ll do it, and if not, he won’t.” I sent it to him and said, “No pressure at all, literally no pressure, but how do you feel about this?” He said, “Wow.” He wrote some parts into it also, and we went back and forth a little bit, but it felt like an incredibly natural and safe collaboration between friends. It didn’t feel like getting a guest star or whatever. It was just like, well, we’re working on something, and obviously he’s crazy talented, but it just felt right. I think they both put so much raw emotion into it. It’s like a surface bubbling. It’s believable, you know? You believe that they’re having this intense dialogue.

With other people I had to be secretive, but with Justin, because he was going to sing, I actually did send him a version of the song with her vocals and told him what I was up to. He was like, “Whoa! Awesome!” But he’s been involved in so many big collaborative things that he wasn’t interested in it from that point of view. It’s more because he loved the song and he thought he could do something with it that would add something.

“my tears ricochet”

This is one of my absolute favorite songs on the record. I think it’s a brilliant composition, and Taylor’s words, the way her voice sounds and how this song feels, are, to me, one of the critical pieces. It’s lodged in my brain. That’s also very important to Taylor and Jack. It’s like a beacon for this record.

“mirrorball”

“mirrorball” is, to me, a hazy sort of beautiful. It almost reminds me of ‘90s-era Cardigans, or something like Mazzy Star. It has this kind of glow and haze. It feels really good before “seven,” which becomes very wistful and nostalgic. There are just such iconic images in the lyrics [“Spinning in my highest heels”], which aren’t coming to me at the moment because my brain is not working [laughs].

How Jack Antonoff’s Folklore Songs Differ From Dessner’s

I think we have different styles, and we weren’t making them together or in the same room. We both could probably come closer together in a sense that weirdly works. It’s like an archipelago, and each song is an island, but it’s all related. Taylor obviously binds it all together. And I think Jack, if he was working with orchestrations, there’s an emotional quality to his songs that’s clearly in the same world as mine.

We actually didn’t have a moodboard for the album at all. I don’t think that way. I don’t really know if she does either. I don’t think Jack... well, Jack might, but when I say the Cardigans or Mazzy Star, those aren’t Jack’s words about “mirrorball,” it’s just what calls to mind for me. Mainly she talked about emotion and to lean into it, the nostalgia and wistfulness, and the kind of raw, meditative emotion that I often kind of inhabit that I think felt very much where her heart was. We didn’t shy away from that.

“seven”

This is the second song we wrote. It’s kind of looking back at childhood and those childhood feelings, recounting memories and memorializing them. It’s this beautiful folk song. It has one of the most important lines on the record: “And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.” That’s what this album is doing. It’s passing down. It’s memorializing love, childhood, and memories. It’s a folkloric way of processing.

“august”

This is maybe the closest thing to a pop song. It gets loud. It has this shimmering summer haze to it. It’s kind of like coming out of “seven” where you have this image of her in the swing and she’s seven years old, and then in “august” I think it feels like fast-forwarding to now. That’s an interesting contrast. I think it’s just a breezy, sort of intoxicating feeling.

“this is me trying”

“this is me trying,” to me, relates to the entire album. Maybe I’m reading into it too much from my own perspective, but [I think of] the whole album as an exercise and working through these stories, whether personal or old through someone else’s perspective. It’s connecting a lot of things. But I love the feeling in it and the production that Jack did. It has this lazy swagger.

“illicit affairs”

This feels like one of the real folk songs on the record, a sharp-witted narrative folk song. It just shows her versatility and her power as a songwriter, the sharpness of her writing. It’s a great song.

“invisible string”

That was another one where it was music that I’d been playing for a couple of months and sort of humming along to her. It felt like one of the songs that pulls you along. Just playing it on one guitar, it has this emotional locomotion in it, a meditative finger-picking pattern that I really gravitate to. It’s played on this rubber bridge that my friend put on [the guitar] and it deadens the strings so that it sounds old. The core of it sounds like a folk song.

It’s also kind of a sneaky pop song, because of the beat that comes in. She knew that there was something coming because she said, “You know, I love this and I’m hearing something already.” And then she said, “This will change the story,” this beautiful and direct kind of recounting of a relationship in its origin.

“mad woman”

That might be the most scathing song on folklore. It has a darkness that I think is cathartic, sort of witch-hunting and gaslighting and maybe bullying. Sometimes you become the person people try to pin you into a corner to be, which is not really fair. But again, don’t quote me on that [laughs], I just have my own interpretation. It’s one of the biggest releases on the album to me. It has this very sharp tone to it, but sort of in gothic folklore. It’s this record’s goth song.

“epiphany”

For “epiphany,” she did have this idea of a beautiful drone, or a very cinematic sort of widescreen song, where it’s not a lot of accents but more like a sea to bathe in. A stillness, in a sense. I first made this crazy drone which starts the song, and it’s there the whole time. It’s lots of different instruments played and then slowed down and reversed. It created this giant stack of harmony, which is so giant that it was kind of hard to manage, sonically, but it was very beautiful to get lost in. And then I played the piano to it, and it almost felt classical or something, those suspended chords.

I think she just heard it, and instantly, this song came to her, which is really an important one. It’s partially the story of her grandfather, who was a soldier, and partially then a story about a nurse in modern times. I don’t know if this is how she did it, but to me, it’s like a nurse, doctor, or medical professional, where med school doesn’t fully prepare you for seeing someone pass away or just the difficult emotional things that you’ll encounter in your job. In the past, heroes were just soldiers. Now they’re also medical professionals. To me, that’s the underlying mission of the song. There are some things that you see that are hard to talk about. You can’t talk about it. You just bear witness to them. But there’s something else incredibly soothing and comforting about this song. To me, it’s this Icelandic kind of feel, almost classical. My brother did really beautiful orchestration of it.

“betty”

This one Taylor and William wrote, and then both Jack and I worked on it. We all kind of passed it around. This is the one where Taylor wanted a reference. She wanted it to have an early Bob Dylan, sort of a Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan feel. We pushed it a little more towards John Wesley Harding, since it has some drums. It’s this epic narrative folk song where it tells us a long story and connects back to “cardigan.” It starts to connect dots and I think it’s a beautifully written folk song.

Is ‘betty” queer canon? I can’t speak to what it’s about. I have my own ideas. I also know where Taylor’s heart is, and I think that’s great anytime a song takes on greater meaning for anyone.

Is William Bowery secretly Joe Alwyn? I don’t know. We’re close, but she won’t tell me that. I think it’s actually someone else, but it’s good to have some mysteries.

“peace”

I wrote this, and Justin provided the pulse. We trade ideas all the time and he made a folder, and there was a pulse in there that I wrote these basslines to. In the other parts of the composition, I did it to Justin’s pulse. Taylor heard this sketch and she wrote the song. It reminds me of Joni Mitchell, in a way - there’s this really powerful and emotional love song, even the impressionistic, almost jazz-like bridge, and she weaves it perfectly together. This is one of my favorites, for sure. But the truth is that the music, that way of playing with harmonized basslines, is something that probably comes a little bit from me being inspired by how Justin does that sometimes. There’s probably a connection there. We didn’t talk too much about it [laughs].

“hoax”

This is a big departure. I think she said to me, “Don’t try to give it any other space other than what feels natural to you.” If you leave me in a room with a piano, I might play something like this. I take a lot of comfort in this. I think I imagined her playing this and singing it. After writing all these songs, this one felt the most emotional and, in a way, the rawest. It is one of my favorites. There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me. That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

Does Taylor Explain Her Lyrics?

She would always talk about it. The narrative is essential, and kind of what it’s all about. We’d always talk about that upfront and saying that would guide me with the music. But again, she is operating at many levels where there are connections between all of these songs, or many of them are interrelated in the characters that reappear. There are threads. I think that sometimes she would point it out entirely, but I would start to see these patterns. It’s cool when you see someone’s mind working.

“the lakes”

That’s a Jack song. It’s a beautiful kind of garden, or like you’re lost in a beautiful garden. There’s a kind of Greek poetry to it. Tragic poetry, I guess.

The Meaning Of Folklore

We didn’t talk about it at first. It was only after writing six or seven songs, basically when I thought my writing was done, when we got on the phone and said, “OK, I think we’re making an album. I have these six other ideas that I love with Jack [Antonoff] that we’ve already done, and I think what we’ve done fits really well with them.” It’s sort of these narratives, these folkloric songs, with characters that interweave and are written from different perspectives. She had a vision, and it was connecting back in some way to the folk tradition, but obviously not entirely sonically. It’s more about the narrative aspect of it.

I think it’s this sort of nostalgia and wistfulness that is in a lot of the songs. A lot of them have this kind of longing for looking back on things that have happened in your life, in your friend’s life, or another loved one’s life, and the kind of storytelling around that. That was clear to her. But then we kept going, and more and more songs happened.

It was a very organic process where [meaning] wasn’t something that we really discussed. It just kind of would happen where she would dive back into the folder and find other things that were inspiring. Or she and William Bowery would write “exile,” and then that happened. There were different stages of the process.

Okay, but is it A24-core? [Laughs.] Good comparison. 

[ozarkhealingtraditions]

Spiritual Healing in the Time of a Pandemic

​More articles on my website!

I often think about my path as a healer in this time of so much sickness and death. My role, which has been so based in guiding and cleansing those suffering not only from physical illnesses but also sickness of the soul, has made me face my own insecurities and doubt in new and more complex ways. I wonder what healers across the world and throughout time have had deal with when facing similarly overwhelming chaotic forces. What songs they must have sang, what prayers they must have prayed as they watched their communities and families dwindle. It reminds me of a story a healer once told about her grandma who desperately tried to comfort and support her own community during the Spanish Flu outbreak. Despite her efforts, she was still left alone in the end, one of only three survivors in her own family along with a handful of others grieving so much loss. She was left to pick up the pieces and try and rebuild what was now in ruins.

The story this healer told me felt like a tale pulled from ancient times. It was only an anecdote or perhaps a warning about some far-off possibility that my mind at the time couldn’t even comprehend. I’ve revisited our conversation on many occasions lately. I can now relate to the countless sick who visited her and the many she wasn’t able to heal. I can now feel the same pain she felt at the amount of death she faced on a day-to-day basis. I remember asking the storyteller about what her grandma did for the living and the dead, desperately trying to sift out some sort of practical advice from amongst all the tragedy. One phrase stuck out for me at the time, something that I’ve been replaying in my mind over and over again lately: “She just tried to give people a good death.”

Healers here in the Ozarks and likewise from communities across the world, have historically had to face many incurable diseases and situations where the only answer is the inevitable end of a life. What does it mean to give someone a good death? Maintaining the comfort of the body, as best as we can, might contribute to this, but for me there’s a much deeper work that needs to be done as well. For those whose worldviews include a whole host of invisible entities that exist alongside the living, the soul often needs as much healing as the body.

As a Spiritist as well as a healer, I know that we as human beings are embodied spirits, whose purpose in this world is to learn what we can and grow before passing back into our spirit forms to be reborn again for more education. I’ve seen firsthand the effects of a tragic or violent death on the state of the soul. I’ve met spirits who were still wandering, confused by why the world and their families now ignored them, and angered by being pulled from their lives too soon. For me, giving someone a good death means nourishing and comforting this immortal spirit to prevent them from being lost in the shadows. It means offering a lamp, a light in the darkness and guide on the path ahead. I asked the storyteller how her grandma soothed these lost and dying spirits. She said that she read the Bible and sang hymns to many, even if they were unconscious, knowing that while the physical body might be sleeping, the soul was still awake. But for many others who weren’t religious she offered her own words of comfort, shaping their dreams from anxious and fearful locations to places of warmth and verdant peace where. With her songs she surrounded them not only by the healing presence of angels and family members, but also those guiding spirits ready to set them on their new path.

In the Ozark tradition, this idea of healing the spirit goes hand-in-hand with healing the body. Not only in the more modern sense of maintaining mental or emotional strength through the healing and dying processes, but also in a very literal interpretation of ensuring the spirit housed inside of a body knows what’s happening and that death might be near. Or, as one prayer I was taught begins, “Spirit inside this body, your body lies sick and dying.” As I was taught, this awakening of the spirit is vital in cases where the individual is unconscious on their deathbed as it’s believed their spirit might be wandering outside of the body, unaware of what is happening. Up until this year, I’ve never had to use this prayer and now I seem to be using it more and more as this sickness claims its victims.

In my experience, the nature of this virus leaves those infected in a dream-like state from lack of sleep, or worse in a simulated coma as they silently suffer on ventilators surrounded by other confused spirits. According to Ozark folk belief, this is the worst possibility for the individual soul, as it plunges them into a state of darkness while their body is completely unaware of its own decay. Traditional Ozark rituals surrounding deathbed care were once focused not only on maintaining the comfort of the body, but also seek to awaken the soul to what is happening. Fumigations of cleansing plants like red cedar (Juniperus virginiana) and tobacco are still used today by healers in the area to protect against angry ghosts who smell death in the home and try to lure away the spirit of the afflicted to join their gangs. Meanwhile, the soul is comforted with offerings of water, nourishing food, and kind words, with the hope that through this caregiving the soul will have an easier transition into the otherworld.

Today we’re left in a very different situation where so many are dying alone. As a healer, I struggle with this thought every day of my life. I struggle with the thought of so many spirits left behind wandering and confused. I’m pained by thinking about the spirits of the living, nurses, doctors, and hospice workers, who are nearing the end of their rope with no little to no support from those around them, completely unaware of whether their dying patients can even hear their kind words. Like so many other healers, I’m left without any advice or words of encouragement. I have no cure, no magic pill that will make everything better. I send out words into the ether, unsure of what effect they might actually have. I watch as more and more people die alone, and as many others contract a sickness that is completely unpredictable. I watch as so many gamble not only with their own health but actively seek to throw the lives of others into the gears of materialism. I fear for my own life and the lives of those closest to me, knowing full well that darker days might be ahead us. Under such a crushing weight, I find myself pulling inward. In my darkest hours, as I shake with grief and fear, I sing songs taught to me by others who have had to face similar times as these and for a moment I can see the flicker of a flame growing in the distance.

I sing songs to the souls of the dying, that they might be given peace and guidance. I sing songs to those suffering from this sickness, that their pain might be lessened, that they might face death bravely. I sing songs to the healers struggling to cope with their burden, that they might be strengthened in their work. I sing songs to the grieving families, that their own souls may be comforted. I sing songs to those with power, that they might see reason. I sing songs to the living, that they might see what a precious gift life really is.

I sing songs to give a good death.

[lordofthetrashbin]

Creature au

This has been bouncing in my head for so long but I haven’t figured out everything so i’m going to work on what I got.

Warning: Mentions of death, talk of people being eaten(Cannibalism? They’re humanoid monsters so i think it counts) , some implied suicidal intentions in Roman’s and Remus’s part which I marked it with a *** so you can skip it if you’d like. I don’t think it’s as bad as it sounds but i’d rather be safe then sorry.

Anyway

There’s this enchanted forest that lays on the border generic kingdom? place not really important to the story. This forest is split directly in half, one side beautiful and bright straight(Ha) out of a story book while the other half is dark and twisted, full of nightmares.

It doesn’t really matter what side you try to go through, few people are ever leave and when they do they’re either exhausted from being chased my monsters or dazed with only having a blurry memory of grinning faces and dances from the night before.

The only real way through the forest is in the gray normal area between the light and dark but even that’s dangerous from the creatures that hang around there.

Let’s get to the bois~

Roman & Remus: Guardian spirits of the forest(And the reason it’s split in two.)

They sort of have a bet going on which side of the forest can claim more people.

Normally when someone enters a forest of death they’re trying to get out the other side or not to get out at all. Of course, there are always those nasty “monster” hunters but they never last long once they’ve caught either of the twin's eye.

They could just let travels pass safely through the gray zone but what's the fun in that? Due to their bet, they both try and lure people in.

Roman normally uses flattery or bribery, he has grand parties that tempt people to join him in dance. Of course, once he’s done he’ll guide them to the other side of the forest and let them continue on their way but there have been times where people didn’t want to leave and who is he to refuse them?

Remus has found that his brand of flattery normally doesn’t work in his favor(unless he has a certain snake to help him) so he normally has to scare people into his side. He’s not technically allowed to hurt anyone in the gray but most people don’t know this, with some well placed illusions that block off Roman’s side has people fleeing into the darkness. A good chase is always welcomed and with him on their heels, he can guide them to the other side no problem except for the times he accidentally lured people into some dangerous flora but who’s counting

*** Of course, there are people who come into the forest with no intention of leaving. Remus tends to get these people more but Roman occasionally greets them, All they can do is offer these people a new life, they may not be Human anymore but the forest and it’s inhabitants welcome them.

(Fun dates for Roman include: Grand parties, dancing, moonlit walks.)

(Fun date for Remus include: Running for your life together, sparring, him trying to get eaten by plants.)

Logan: Unicorn Centaur

One of the last of his kind.

He was being chased across the countryside after his small herd was captured by hunters, Unicorns are very valuable after all and he had just barely escaped but still had hunters in pursuit of him. The small kindness of a young girl is the only thing that kept him safe, she hid him as the hunters passed by her town and then pointed him to the forest which she said had other centaurs like him.

When he arrived he chose to enter the lighter side, almost immediately greeted by a very excited Roman who had never met a unicorn before. His forest had centaurs but none were unicorns much to Logan’s disappointment.

Still, he was offered safety and a home that he couldn’t refuse. He now lives by the river near the gray area, being bothered all the time by his friends some persistent annoyances.

He has no ill will towards humans but will usually avoid them, on occasion though he will walk the path along the gray border with someone if they seem a bit young to be passing through on their own.

(Fun dates include: Relaxing by the river, long talks about local flora, maybe a ride on his back if you’re super duper lucky.)

Patton: Swan Maiden (Was once human.)

He was a traveler that didn’t really know what the forest was, he just saw beautiful trees and flowers that seemed to glow and wondered in completely unaware.

Imagine his surprise when a very handsome forest prince welcomes him offers him a wonderful time and the gay panicked mess that he was couldn’t refuse. The next thing he knew, he was waking up in the sunlight on the other side of the forest with barely any memory of the night before and a deep longing somewhere in his heart.

He goes to move on, considers himself lucky to alive but a year later he’s back and entering the forest again, Roman greets him with a grin and he finally remembers a night of dancing and making friends with people that accepted him with no problem. This time when the night is over, Patton asks to stay. He feels more at home than he ever had before and wasn’t looking forward to being alone on the road again. Roman gives him the choice of remaining human or truly joining the forest as something else.

Patton has time to choose, spending years living in the forest and making friends with creatures on both sides of the gray path before he makes his choice.

He half expected it to be painful but Roman just pulls him into the water and he hears both the wind and river singing for him as Roman drapes a coat lined with feathers around his shoulders. He excepted to change but he still feels the same even as his body changes and he spreads his wings.

(Fun dates include: Swimming, exploring the forest, you can pet his feathers if he trusts you enough.)

Virgil: Drider (Or Arachne but I like Drider)

He wasn’t born in the forest but grew up in it with some of his siblings after their mother's nest was set on fire by humans. He doesn’t blame the humans for it though since they were kinda eating some villagers.

Grew up near the edge of the dark side of the forest because his siblings stayed there to lure people in but eventually when they were all adults and started hating each other as most spider folk do, he moved and built a web deeper in the forest next to the gray path much to Remus’s delight and Roman’s displeasure.

Half his nest is burrowed underground and if someone doesn’t stay on the path around his area they are very likely to fall into one of his trap holes which he finds hilarious when it doesn’t scare the fuck out of him to see someone drop from the ceiling.

Away from his siblings, Virgil found himself eating fewer humans, Whither that’s because of a very human Patton dropping in(Accidentally the first time but eventually on purpose) to make falling related puns or because Roman would send deer into his web regularly in hopes of filling him is anyone’s guess.

He eventually moves his nest under the bridge that leads the gray path over the river. Mostly because Patton starts to live in the river once he’s no longer human and being this close he can bug the cute unicorn dude that’s pretty much his neighbor. Also can maybe scare some poor folk crossing the bridge, who knows

(Fun dates include: Relaxing in his web, him making sweaters for you out of his silk, harassing Roman.)

Deceit: Naga

Mysteriously showed up out of nowhere, neither of the twins knows how he got into the forest without them knowing and it drives Roman wild which leads to Remus welcoming him into the dark side with open arms.

He gives a different excuse each time he’s asked. “A harpy dropped me from the sky.” “I followed the underground tunnels the mole people left.” “I was just a normal snake until the accident accrued.”

He likes to play with the humans that wander into the forest, takes too much pleasure in teasing those that accidentally follow him in too deep. He usually leaves them back where they came from but he has a knack for finding hunters before they get in far and leading them into traps before they can harm anyone.

Deceit is one of the only reasons Remus is tied with Roman for luring people into the forest.

He lives in an abandoned burrow deeper in the forest but he’s only ever in it when it starts getting colder, otherwise he sneaks into Virgil’s nest to nap in all his soft silks and furs.

(Fun dates include: Sunbathing, cuddling while wrapped up in his tail, Him occasionally threatening to eat you.)

[unikornu]

Page 13, Reassurance,

Early morning at Nuka Town gives impression that its still asleep but it never is. Raider patrols are always on their watch to make sure traders do not slack and prepare their stations, just without excessive shouting due to early hours and half of them being hangover. Neither asleep was Gage and Lucy. They were heading relaxed towards the south exit, wind blowing rather strong today, raising the dust particles and paper scraps in the air. 

-You look rather…uhmm professional today, Boss. Gage pointed out looking at the white sturdy vest with a high collar around the neck. It was striking Institute right in the face but it had more combat aspect to it rather than the appearance of the usual lab coat especially that she still kept her spiked bracers on. With a tight pants and sleeves combined with some additional reinforcements into the grey fabric it almost looked like a field agent suit. He wasn’t complaining one bit about it, once he took a good look at her back and dropped his eye lower. 

- Ekhem. Lucy grunted under her nose pulling her hair into a ponytail and directing his attention back up to her. - Since Lizzie managed to burn holes in my usual clothes after last trip i had to find a temporary replacement. Institute provided me with it as i agreed to be their agent on the ground before i came here.

- Institute shitheads…i really hope they won’t interfere with our plan Boss. I know they are involved in some shady stuff out there but, shit… you have been there, ya know better, i hope. Gage looked at her raising his eyebrow. He knew the eggheads were the only ones Lucy didn’t turn away so far, hell, she’s been even sending them occasional reports on her situation and to his surprise after each one sent there would a package awaiting for them under the famous corpse “decorated’ tree that was burning each night spreading the smoke and stench of fresh victims that didn’t escape the gangs thirst for caps and blood.

- I think they just want to survive and reach their own goals, pushing their plans, no matter the cost even if its humanity…not so different than us, don’t ya think? We, here, just lack uhm, some control and manners i guess? And we don’t run around in clean lab coats. She ended her thought with a shrug looking for a small confirmation back from the raider.

-Maybe….i dunno Boss..but still, lots of folks out there never dare to raise their fucking nose higher out of their stupid little lives to see all of this deeper like us,  so we will have to deal with their opinion the usual way, my favorite one. He smiled with a corner of his mouth at the thought.

They passed the station and decided to take the first stop at the remains of the small town nearby. 

----- -So who are those Hubologists that we are about to visit? Never heard of them. Are they any threat to us?

-Threat? - Gage laughed. -No…but they sure are weird as fuck. I pointed a gun at one of them once and the shithead still asked me if i’m truly happy. And then he just walked away like nothing happened. I guess we find out more today, Boss. 

They strolled slowly through the ruins with their weapons prepared for any surprise awaiting in the shady, crumbling corners. Instead they heard some voices deeper into the town and sounds of a brawl. They nodded at each other and rushed towards the noise. Peeking from behind the wall they noticed a troubled caravan trying to fend off a group of hungry oversized crickets. 

-Cmon Gage, lets help them first and ask questions later. She ordered but Gage hesitated a bit as he wasn’t always feeling like giving a helping hand to a strangers but eventually listened and went after her, growling under the nose. After a short struggle with nasty jumpy invaders traders turned towards the duo pointing their guns at them. There were five of them, three men dressed as an escort and two women. 

- Easy there. Lucy backed off a step, raising her knife in the air. - We just saw you were in trouble and felt like jumping in.

- Right…i’m sorry. We just prefer to be sure you are not raiders trying to steal from us. Eh, its ok men. Just put the gun down. The woman with short dark blond hair stepped out and ordered.  

- Are you a trader? And how did you end up here? It’s not very….common road. Lucy punched Gage with an elbow to put his rifle down as well.

- Yes, we are merchants. I’m Cora. After our village didn’t survive the attack of  the super mutants we decided to move on and we heard about Diamond City. We are just on our way there. Are you from…? She looked down at her suit squinting her eyes in suspicion.

-Institute? Oh no no…i’m just a field scientist, Lucy, helping some folks in Nuka Town with local…flora and getting some materials for my work. She lied and smiled at her. - And this is my lovely mercenary Porter that i hired to protect me out there. Lot of nasty bugs. She patted him on the shoulder like a good pup. Gage was about to punch her in the arm but noticed what she was stirring there and decided to leave it for later. - You mentioned Diamond City? Its still a long road. Why don’t you just stop by the Nuka Town? 

- We actually never heard of it. Everyone were saying that Diamond City is the best stopping big point right now and very safe for traders. 

- Of course, because they have never been in Nuka Town. It is as safe as Diamond City and i can guarantee you that can get really good deals there. And as a scientist i do have quite high standards. You should really check it out first, with your group you can get there in around two hours. Look i can show you in this tiny little device. She approached Cora and showed her a location of Nuka Town on her map. With her looks and some basic science babble on how she got a working pipboy she managed to convince them to stop by Nuka Town. 

-Dayum Boss…i was not expecting you doing that. He whispered to her as they were waving back at the Cora in the distance.

-Doing what? Lying to them…partly? They sat in the patio chairs in the camp left by traders to catch on a snack and drink before moving to Hubologists. 

- You know what’s gonna happen. You might see them in a few days..just they won’t be that grateful this time but..screw em. You just pushed yourself to the next level Boss. Gage grinned proudly but Lucy got stirred for a moment in her thought process on what she just did. It all happened so natural and fast, no doubt stopped her at any second of it. Was she becoming truly evil, heartless? Or just stepping up in a survival ladder and shaping every occasion to benefit her community.

- Hey Boss…heyyyyy. He shook her by the shoulder.

-Ugh sorry i got caught again in some..thoughts. She raised her hand and brushed the inner corners of her eyes. Gage wasn’t very much for a talk but he at least wanted to show at least a little bit of interest beyond the usual routine from time to time.

-Um..something troubling you Boss? He asked and offered her a cigarette.

- Did you ever lie so much in your life that you actually felt bad for it at some point? She snatched a smoke out of the pack.

- I don’t think so Boss….as i started my fucked up “career” quite early. I kind of lied to my parents promising them to take care of everything as i grow up, be a good man or some shit. I ended up just taking care of myself but i accepted the facts and moved on pretty fast. He lighted one for himself and stuffed the pack back into his pocket in ugly fashion.

- I lied to my partner before, our whole time actually but i loved him at the same time. The longer it was going the easier was lying but at the end of the day i felt more and more like shit for hiding what i was doing, with my boss and the gangs. And he truly loved me back and believed everything to the very end. It wasn’t fair for him. She left out a deep sigh along with the smoke. 

-Look..Boss. That is gone and none of it matter here anymore. I don’t care who you were before. What is fucking important is if what ya do feels right for ya and if it keeps your head on your shoulders. Sometimes you might need to dirty your hands up to get there but…yeh. Gage stood up and threw a smoke to the ground. 

-So far you didn’t have to lie to yourself, neither to me as you came here so i guess….you’re good eh? He looked down at her, with reassuring smile and offered her a hand. He usually failed at offering any kind of support other than the one related to bullets but he was quite convinced he managed to deliver some of it this time.

- Ye…i think you are right, okay, enough of this. Lets go. She grabbed his palm and pulled herself up focusing her mind back to their daily task. He was right, she even told him back at cappy cafe that she can finally openly express how partly wicked she is and the only consequence is a bullet in her or someone's else head.

Upon entering a a Hubologists camp Lucy immediately rolled her eyes towards the huge fire hydrant. She was about to say how fucked up of an idea it is but then again it was Nuka World so this was still falling into almost normal category along with museum of shovels. 

-Welcome stranger! I’m Dara. A woman with grey short hair wearing something that looked like a spacesuit…more of a costume than a spacesuit came right up to them. Her overwarm welcoming already felt strange.

-Uhmm hello? You are the leader of hubologist? Lucy asked.

-So you heard of us? Fantastic! I was hoping you would finally join us on this great path that Star Father has guided us towards! Dara started explaining the greatness of her “cult” and Lucy slowly started to get the idea of what they are, as along with Gage her face was twisting into a confusion and she abruptly stopped Dara from talking any further, raising the palm of her hand in front of the woman.

- Dara…ye? No offense but..you guys are fucked up in the head quite…much, not sure on what drugs are you but even i wouldn’t dare to try, so..i will pass on further..cosmic story. Gage hold his chuckle to himself as Lucy pointed out with total seriousness in her voice.

- It’s a shame then that you think that but… i might have something else for you then. Dara face also turned into serious expression, losing her crazy vibe in that moment. - I need more spacesuits from the Galaxy Zone  you look quite…for a task. 

- Oh, really?  Spacesuits? What the hell you need spacesuits for? Lucy looked at Gage but he only gave her a shrug back. 

- Its none of your business right now. Get them first and then maybe we will talk further as we will be preparing for our journey out of this shithole. Lucy was about to turn her down but the idea of some extra caps wasn’t that bad and they were headed to the Galaxy Park next anyway. And if they were planning to get out anyway why not help them.

- How much you pay? She asked.

- Enough to convince you to take up on a task and leave right now. Dara looked at the man in a hood nearby, pointing at the laser rifle in his hands.

- Fine, we will meet later. She turned away and pulled the Gage after her, leaving their camp.  

-----

  Lucy decided to head back to Fizztop. Further preparations had to be done before giving a hit to the last park. From the description of it on a colorful pamphlet they indeed needed some pulse grenades to deal with robotics that might still be in there.

  -Boss, i know they don’t cause any issues and they are fucked up crazy but we will have to get rid of them at some point, one way or another. Gage pointed out as they were crossing the town.

-We will Gage, don’t worry. I still have to stop by Lizzie to check how she’s doing on those grenades. We will meet later at Fizztop. Lucy took a sharp turn towards Parlor, leaving troubled raider to himself. 

As the afternoon passed and it turned into late evening Gage decided to take a break from tinkering with his weaponry and leaving some notes on the terminal, that now changed its purpose along with the new Overboss. He heard a silent guitar notes coming from the radio, striking in the air to the hall. Gage walked towards the patio stretching his arms and neck on the way. 

-Hey Boss, what ya doin? Been pretty silent here since you came back from Parlor. He approached her sitting at the bar with a bottle of wine and two empty glasses.

-Was waiting for you actually. She poured a bit of wine into both glasses and stood up from the the bar stool. 

-Huh..me, why? Gage asked nervously and his eye opened more widely, noticing what she was wearing. It looked almost like a cocktail dress from a parlor ripped poster, black and glittery  -Something specific on your mind Boss?

  -Just a small occasional toast, for a job well done so far. We are going down to the last park very soon. She stretched her hand offering him a drink.

-Ye, i guess that can’t hurt. He took it gently and smelled the booze inside before clinking the glasses with her. - Also, where did you get all of…. that? He scanned her from head to toes leaning to the side against the bar.

-Oh..a recompense from Lizzie on turning my last one into a swiss cheese. She found it somewhere deep into the storage room and snatched it before Mags threw it away by mistake. - You like it…? She gave a fast spin and noticed him trying to resist the smile growing to the sides of his face.

-Well, your ass always looks great but…that is something..else. He brushed the back of his neck and pushed himself away from the bar preparing slowly to leave before she would catch him and convince to do more unprofessional business. 

-Gage listen, i know you hate these kind of chit chats but… 

She took his hand and pulled him close to her. - I just wanted to tell you that i feel good so far…where i am and what we do together, to get this place back for us. She bit her lips nervously and slowly looked up in his eye. 

-I thought it would be the end of my fucked life…that the gauntlet would take my sorry ass or you right after it. She joked trying not to scare him too much with her words. - But look, i was lost when everything blew up and went to shit and i finally feel like i found my place in this garbage and also...there is you, protecting and covering up for my dumb mistakes and i just...appreciate it, i guess. Her eyes rolled nervously around before looking at him again.   

-Uhm…shit…Boss i…i am glad you think so.. really..i do. And you are not that dumb..i mean just…impulsive.  His brain was storming to find literally anything better to say at this moment as she started to gaze at him. - Look, i know we are kinda busy, deep in work and shit and its been some time but…i am happy it was you who showed up here...and that i didn’t have to kill ya. He managed to joke back at her and calmed down a bit as the smile showed up at her face in a response.

He almost took a step back as she put her hands around his neck trying not to blush like some kind of soft fucker. But on the other side he felt a pinch of pride mixed with surprise, that she was saying all of these words to him, only. That she was standing there looking like from some damn magazine, for him. He almost felt like he didn’t deserve all of this trust and sweet talk at this moment but he wouldn’t dare to throw it away either. 

-Just stay, tonight. I won’t torture you further with my shitty talk.  She whispered as she leaned herself on his chest. He wrapped his arm firmly around her waist. That was indeed something else, more meaningful, not just joking around and some occasional corner teasing and kissing. 

-Hey..when i shouted in your face that i care about you i did fucking mean it.  I’m not good at these talks..and stuff but maybe that will do…. He placed his both hands at her waist almost tempted to drop them even lower on her ass and started slowly swinging with her to the sides in the tune of the radio.

 -Gage..but you hate….

-But you like it so…shut up. He interrupted her and endured another round of slow dancing. 

Lucy tried to turn her head to hide the wide grin but got caught in a surprise kiss from the raider. There was nothing else to be said. Just them, swinging slowly, being reassured in their future plan and each other. Only the swinging didn’t last so long as the kiss and temptation led them both pretty fast to a nearby couch for the rest of the evening.

[snowbellewells]

Self Promo Sunday: The Case of the Heart in Armor: Part Two

I’m re blogging this once more this morning. It was at an odd time earlier this week when I did it, and I thought I mind give it another go. There were a few who asked to be tagged in updates who I am not sure saw it the first time. 

This was originally written for the CS Role Reversal event in October, to accompany the amazing fanart created by @courtorderedcake.  I had SO MUCH FUN working with her and coming up with this story.  I certainly didn’t mean to keep folks waiting this long for the second part.  I still hope those who were reading and excited about it will enjoy!! :)

@courtorderedcake  I don’t know why I can’t get your picture to post on here like I did with Part One.  For everyone else though, don’t miss her gorgeous art!! You can see it in the link to Part One below...

~~~~

 Summary: Killian “Holmes” Jones is rarely surprised or shocked anymore, but that all changes when he meets one very stubborn - and very beautiful - pickpocket, and trouble brews in the distance, hidden by the London fog…

Part One

by: @snowbellewells

Part Two

Chief Inspector David Nolan watched with weary acceptance as his erstwhile younger sister paced back and forth in front of the large mahogany desk in the private office at the Yard which he had worked bloody hard to earn. It wasn’t as though farm boys from Surrey made their way up the elite ranks of London’s police force regularly, and he could admit himself more than a bit proud of the distinction. It wouldn’t be the first time he had seen Emma in such a state either - she was as stubborn as the day was long, and had quite the temper besides, if a person had poor enough judgement to rile her. Though he didn’t mind listening to Emma’s tirade, he would have to quiet her soon, both because her rant was rising in volume instead of tapering off, and because the man she was ranting against was indeed an acquaintance of his and had helped him out of some tight scrapes - more than Nolan would actually like to admit.

Standing finally, and rubbing a hand over tired eyes - his latest case had already kept him from sound sleep three nights in a row - David rounded the desk with measured and steady stride to take Emma’s arm gently, stopping her wild gesticulations in midair before she could manage to clock him on the chin. Even though at present he found himself wishing she could be a bit more demure and correct, David did care deeply for the slip of a young woman his single mother had taken into their home when he was fourteen and Emma only twelve. His mum had caught Em’s hand in her pocketbook outside the market where she had been lurking, stealing to survive. He still remembered those half-wild eyes, her dirt-smudged face, and how thin and ravenously hungry the girl who became his sister had been. She’d already been alone on the streets for some time by that point, had trusted no one (she still trusted very few), and yet, Ruth Nolan, despite she and David having little to spare themselves, simply couldn’t abide the situation without helping. They’d only been in town to shop for a new sturdy coat to last David the winter and visit the theatre - a rare treat indeed - but when they had returned to the country, Emma had gone with them. Gradually, Emma had come to believe that they wouldn’t turn her out, that she couldn’t make Ruth rescind her welcome, and David had come to be glad for a sibling and hearty companion. There were still signs of that feral waif scrapping to survive when her eyes flashed with fury as they were doing just then, but David wouldn’t have Emma be someone else - even if it would make his life occasionally easier.

Hoping to placate her, at least a bit, before telling her what he knew might send her flying off the handle once again, David guided his sibling into the seat facing his desk, a soothing hand lingering at her shoulder as he attempted to commiserate. “It does sound as if your meeting with Mr. Jones was most vexing. No wonder you were put out.”

Emma was nodding along, her shoulders still radiating tension and looking only slightly mollified as he went back toward his own seat and lowered his broad-shouldered, commanding frame into it once more. “The sheer audacity!” She was still saying, clearly gearing up to tell him the whole story again, when David stretched his hand out to still her next torrent of hissed words.

“The thing is,” he began, rather hesitantly; regardless of his usual air of strength and authority, he seemed to be nearly tiptoeing around his sister, knowing her tart tongue and ability to hold a grudge could make him truly miserable if he handled the situation badly and she thought him to be taking Killian Jones’ side over her own. “Jones was not in the strictest sense out of turn to claim that he knew me… nor to be surprised we were related. He has aided us here at the Yard several times now, when we thought a case was about to reach a true dead end. He’s a right clever chap, and much as I hate to admit it, he sees things the rest of us miss - myself included. It’s almost uncanny, and no doubt how he caught you in the act - slick and nimble-fingered as you are, Sis.”

Emma’s mouth opened with a comeback; he could see her gathering a fortifying breath, but at the last statement, clearly reminding her that he knew she sometimes returned to her less-than-legal roots and he looked the other way, she snapped it closed again, her teeth clacking against each other with the force. Instead, she arched a brow at him sardonically as if questioning what he had to tell her and already warning him that it wouldn’t change her mind all in one.

However, before he could get around to explaining that she would have to learn to tolerate Mr. Jones as best she could, because they would soon be seeing each other more often, or warn her once more of the dangers she invited by haunting the seedier neighborhoods where he knew she most liked to set up her cart of flowers and put her old, erstwhile skills into practice, they were interrupted by two sharp, business-like raps on his office door before it opened abruptly. His second-in-command, Graham Watson, entered with an apologetic and rather sheepish look on his face. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Sir… Miss Emma…” the boyishly sweet-faced lieutenant nodded to her in deference before turning his attention back to her adoptive brother, a light flush actually crawling up the back of his neck toward his honey-colored hair, unmanageably curly and only adding to his tousled, youthful appearance as his eyes flicked back away from Emma. He had taken her to the opera once, and though he had been a perfect gentleman, Emma had the sneaking suspicion they would make for a poor pair beyond mere acquaintances. A faint smirk quirked one corner of her full, rosy lips upwards at the thought, but despite his clearly still harboring a bit of attracted interest, she had the distinct impression that he couldn’t handle her were she to truly let loose and be herself in his presence.

“That’s alright, Graham,” David assured, smiling and beckoning the other man forward.

Graham entered, but then turned back to usher another through the door behind him. “You told me to let you know when Holmes arrived,” he added.

Emma turned sharply in her seat, skin prickling with awareness at the sight of the tall, dark-headed and astonishingly blue-eyed man from the day before easing into the office behind Watson. He waggled an eyebrow at her, maddeningly aware of her strong reaction and raising her ire once more without even having spoken. Giving a brief dip of the head like a bow to her, he turned to face her brother as well, tucking his right thumb into the belt loop of his well-fitted charcoal slacks, and somehow making even perfectly correct dress attire look rakishly sinful as his hips preceded him a step forward into the room. “Afternoon, Nolan,” he greeted mildly, looking for all the world as though he had not a care. “Heard you wished to speak with me. Found the thief who took my watch, have you?”

He glanced over his shoulder at Emma, looking all-too-pleased with himself if the grin stretching his mouth in satisfied confidence was any indication.

“Why you…” she leapt to her feet, ready to stalk forward and challenge his accusation - true it might be, but she would like to see him prove it. However, she found that the creative and colorful arsenal of pejorative names and curses usually ready on the tip of her tongue were all tangled up inside her mouth. Opening and closing it several times uselessly, she finally shook her head with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him darkly, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her struggle for words.

Smirking with lazy ease, as if the entire situation amused him immensely, Jones rolled his tongue around in his mouth obscenely (it did not make Emma’s pulse tap noticeably in her throat at all) before speaking to her once more. “Aye, Love, it is me, as you say…. Always nice to make an impression.”  And then (the very cheek of him!) he winked at her before sliding his gaze back to her brother.

It certainly didn’t help her rising temper to sense David, and Graham too it seemed, silently chuckling as he watched their volatile exchange. She supposed she deserved that to some extent, being quicker and more stealthy than most by half, and not ashamed to make it known and use it to her advantage, even with those closest to her when it suited. It probably was more than a bit amusing to both of them to see her genuinely rattled by this...this…  Well, she didn’t even have a word for this Killian ‘Holmes’ Jones, but she wasn’t about to stand there and have them all snickering at her expense.  Sweeping around her chair in the opposite direction, careful to avoid coming anywhere near Jones, she threw over her shoulder as she started for the door. “Well, David, if we’re done for the moment, I’ll be going…”

She was well on her way to stalking dramatically from the room, congratulating herself through her flustered nerves that it would serve them right to have run her off when they needed her for whatever they were gathered to cluck about like a bunch of old hens. David and Graham both knew she was a valuable and well-placed set of eyes and ears to the ground in parts of the city where the police could go but would see and hear nothing at all. David had accepted her help gratefully on numerous occasions - even if he always tried to go without it at first. He argued about jeopardizing her safety and the questionable legality of involving someone not part of the force to gain intelligence.

None of that concerned Emma though; she liked proving her mettle - and her skill. Deep down, there was also, she supposed, a part of her that wanted to do something in return for the gift David’s mother, and David too, had given her, taking her into their home and off of the street. He was the one person left in the world she could call family, and she would do anything for him, despite that sentiment going largely unspoken. She knew the same was true of him for her.

Before she could get out the door however, David’s voice drew her back in, a weariness and a resigned need to it that practically compelled her to wait and hear him out. David was capable and astute; good at his job no matter how much she might playfully heckle or give him grief. If he were this intent on having her assistance, then it was something serious with which he was dealing. A tremor of awareness, foreboding shivering up her spine, ran across Emma’s skin as she paused and then turned back to the three men now gathered around David’s desk and the precarious mess of papers piled atop it that she had failed to notice until that very second.

Graham’s voice spoke next, sounding both troubled and anxious as he did so, “Are you sure we should…?” His hands wrung themselves nervously, as if he was having to consciously fight not to reach out and cover the crime scene photographs she could just make out peeking from the stacks strewn across the surface before her as she drew nearer.

And when she actually laid eyes on what her brother’s lieutenant had wanted to shield her from, Emma’s stomach did make a large and unpleasant lurch for her throat.  Pressing her hand against her abdomen to still its sudden roiling, despite all that she had seen in her rough and ramshackle upbringing and colorful present dealings, she had to hold back a shocked gasp of horror at the sight in front of her. It was a near thing indeed.  Even as she struggled not to jerk her glance away and stand up straight and unfazed,  not wanting it to be dismissed as “feminine vapors”, or something equally ridiculous if she showed too much distress. She knew her brother and his subordinate better than that anyway - and they seemed plenty subdued and disturbed by the pictures as well. But she would not show weakness in front of Killian Jones.

To her surprise, at just the moment she had that thought, and steeled herself against the tremors trying to overtake her limbs, she felt a light, surreptitious hand rest carefully at the small of her back. It took a mere moment to realize that the touch was Jones, and that he must mean it to be steadying, offered in comfort and solidarity. He didn’t make an attempt to look at her in mocking, nor did he draw the other two men’s attention to his actions. And though her eyes had narrowed to near-slits, ready to chastise him about keeping his hands to himself, and warn him that she had no need of his brand of comfort, Emma found herself doing nothing of the sort. Where she had felt herself going cold at the fearful sight chilling her blood from the displayed evidence, warmth seemed to radiate from where his large hand rested, fighting off some of the frigid ice that had infiltrated her veins with the repulsion she felt for the crime. Despite still wanting to show him up if she could, and despite not wanting to let a point of frailty show, she was glad to have the contact in that minute, while she battled to regain control.

The criminal David was chasing was clearly a monster… and they were going to need all the help they could get.

~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Deep, devious eyes, painted beguilingly, narrowed in intense concentration as they studied the carnage spread out over the worktable. Rather than finally seeing the last ingredient needed, there was instead merely one more bloody mess. A needless loss - not that the culprit was crying any tears over the unfortunate victim.

Not unexpectedly, it was now proven, as the villain had feared, that not just any organ would do. It must be a heart, fatal as that realization was. Moreover, no random heart would suffice either. Her last conquest had made that appalling fact abundantly clear.

No, if she wanted to truly put the alchemical possibilities she had studied to the test, and to discover if her abilities within the field were as great as she needed them to be, this final hurdle and greater risk was unavoidable. Bringing the dead back to life was seemingly impossible; none disputed that fact. And yet, she refused to accept those terms, ending her life’s happiness when it had barely begun.

Wiping deceptively pale and delicate hands on the cloth beside her, she did her best to remove the vivid red stains covering her hands and forearms where they were bared beneath her rolled up sleeves. Resurrection was bloody work indeed, but her course had long since been set. A specific heart it would have to be. Garnet lips painted as deep and dark as the blood splattered around her tilted up in an unnerving and sinister smile. Oh yes, she would get that heart she needed - no matter what it took to acquire.

Tagging: @courtorderedcake @cocohook38 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @darkcolinodonorgasm @winterbaby89 @teamhook @thisonesatellite @laschatzi @stahlop @ultraluckycatnd @drowned-dreamer @resident-of-storybrooke @revanmeetra87 

[nightqueendany]

Game of Thrones and Lawrence of Arabia

I’m just going to copy and paste relevant parts of the Wikipedia summary below and go through point by point:

The story then moves backward to the First World War, where Lawrence is a misfit British Army lieutenant, notable for his insolence and education. 

Hmm, who do we know from the story who is 1) a misfit, 2) joins a type of “army” and 3) is known for his insolence and education.

Oh yeah, JON FUCKING SNOW. 

Over the objections of General Murray, Mr. Dryden of the Arab Bureau sends him to assess the prospects of Prince Faisal in his revolt against the Turks. 

Who also is sent on a mission that his Lord Commander isn’t entirely chuffed about, at the request of another commander, in order to assess/take care of a situation regarding a foreign group?

Oh yeah, JON FUCKING SNOW.

On the journey, his Bedouin guide, Tafas, is killed by Sherif Ali for drinking from his well without permission. Lawrence later meets Colonel Brighton, who orders him to keep quiet, make his assessment, and leave. Lawrence ignores Brighton's orders when he meets Faisal. His outspokenness piques the prince's interest.

Brighton advises Faisal to retreat after a major defeat, but Lawrence proposes a daring surprise attack on Aqaba; 

Now, this bit I could see being Dany vs Jorah, when he’s trying to convince her that she doesn’t need Yunkai and she wants to take it to save the slaves there, but the parallel is really weak. 

The parallel of Lawrence being a young but capable military commander could belong to both Jon or Dany.

its capture would provide a port from which the British could offload much-needed supplies. The town is strongly fortified against a naval assault but only lightly defended on the landward side. He convinces Faisal to provide fifty men, led by a skeptical Sherif Ali. Teenage orphans Daud and Farraj attach themselves to Lawrence as servants. 

Again, this parallel could belong to either Jon or Dany. Missandei for Dany, Ollie for Jon.

They cross the Nefud Desert, considered impassable even by the Bedouins, traveling day and night on the last stage to reach water. One of Ali's men, Gasim, succumbs to fatigue and falls off his camel unnoticed during the night. When Lawrence discovers him missing, he turns back and rescues Gasim—and Sherif Ali is won over. He gives Lawrence Arab robes to wear.

The crossing of the desert could parallel Dany’s journey through the Red Waste - but the purposes for crossing these deserts are two totally different motivations. Lawrence and co are heading for battle. Dany and co are just trying to survive.

Dany is never given native garb as a reward. She adopts the garb of her people to show them respect. However, Jon is given a white fur by Mance when Jon successfully convinces Mance he wants to change sides from Night’s Watch to Wildling. 

Lawrence persuades Auda abu Tayi, the leader of the powerful local Howeitat tribe, to turn against the Turks. 

This could parallel Dany convincing Daario and co to fight for her rather than Yunkai...I guess? Or perhaps it’s Dany convincing the slaves of Yunaki to turn against their masters. Or perhaps it’s Jon convincing the Wildlings and Northmen to fight together against Ramsay? Who fuckin’ knows?

Lawrence's scheme is almost derailed when one of Ali's men kills one of Auda's because of a blood feud. Howeitat retaliation would shatter the fragile alliance, so Lawrence declares that he will execute the murderer himself. He is then stunned to discover that the culprit is Gasim, the very man to save whom he risked his own life in the desert, but he shoots him anyway.

This could be Dany in S5 executing Mossador, but remember, that was a show-only add-in. 

The next morning, the Arabs overrun the Turkish garrison. Lawrence heads to Cairo to inform Dryden and the new commander, General Allenby, of his victory. While crossing the Sinai Desert, Daud dies when he stumbles into quicksand. Lawrence is promoted to major and given arms and money for the Arabs. He is deeply disturbed, however, confessing that he enjoyed executing Gasim, but Allenby brushes aside his qualms. He asks Allenby whether there is any basis for the Arabs' suspicions that the British have designs on Arabia. When pressed, the general states that they do not.

This is Jon Snow to a T. Jon is promoted to Lord Commander, he gives rations to the wildlings who agree to help man the Wall, and he’s in a delicate negotiation with Stannis in regards to the wildlings fates in relation to the Seven Kingdoms.  

Lawrence launches a guerrilla war, blowing up trains and harassing the Turks at every turn. American war correspondentJackson Bentley publicizes Lawrence's exploits, making him famous. On one raid, Farraj is badly injured. Unwilling to leave him to be tortured by the enemy, Lawrence shoots him dead before fleeing.

This could be both Jon/Dany or neither. There are *some* parallels to both their wars taking back their homes - Jon with Battle of the Bastards, Dany with the Loot Train Battle. But it’s a weak parallel for them both at best. 

When Lawrence scouts the enemy-held city of Deraa with Ali, he is taken, along with several Arab residents, to the Turkish Bey. Lawrence is stripped, ogled, and prodded. Then, for striking out at the Bey, he is severely flogged before being thrown into the street. The experience leaves Lawrence shaken. He returns to British headquarters in Cairo but does not fit in.

Daenerys is captured and beaten by the Dothraki in Season 6. Jon is captured and beaten by the wildlings in Season 2.

However, the “returning but not fitting in” is a parallel that belongs to Jon solely. When he returns to the Wall after being undercover with the wildlings, he is very much changed by his time with them. He “talks like a wildling” because he “ate with the wildlings, climbed the Wall with the wildlings, and lay with a wildling girl.” He gained an understanding of them and their culture and has adopted their ways of thinking as his own which is why in S7 Tormund tells him, “You spent too much time with the Free Folk, now you don’t like kneeling.” Dany, throughout her story, is both adoptive of all the cultures she encounters and also loyal to none of them, only participating in cultural practices to show respect, not because she has become fully immersed in the culture.

A short time later in Jerusalem, General Allenby urges him to support the "big push" on Damascus. Lawrence hesitates to return but finally relents.

Lawrence recruits an army that is motivated more by money than by the Arab cause. 

This actually most closely parallels CERSEI in Seasons 7/8 and her purchasing of a contract with the Golden Company. So who the fuck cares? LOL

They sight a column of retreating Turkish soldiers who have just massacred the residents of Tafas. One of Lawrence's men is from Tafas; he demands, "No prisoners!" When Lawrence hesitates, the man charges the Turks alone and is killed. Lawrence takes up the dead man's battle cry; the result is a slaughter in which Lawrence himself participates. Afterwards, he regrets his actions.

The “guerrilla war” on the Turks and this scene in particular are the only ones I can think of as to why Dany’s arc is compared with this film. However, in this last battle scene in Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence “goes too far”, it’s not an entirely unprovoked act of senseless violence. Yes, in the film, it’s meant to be horrific. 

However, 1) they are killing Turkish soldiers, not civilians, and 2) the Turkish soldiers had just slaughtered an entire city. So it’s not as if they’re innocent men. 

(Please keep in mind, I am not a history buff. I have no idea about any of this stuff in actual historical context or if the film is historically accurate. I’m not saying the Turkish soldiers deserved this but again, not saying they’re innocent in the way the film frames them either). 

This more reminds me of Dany’s attack on the Lannister/Tarly troops after their sack of Highgarden than the massacre of King’s Landing. 

OR, it could be Jon Snow “getting the crazy eyes and losing a bit of his goodness” - Miguel Sapochnik - in Battle of the Bastards. 

But this is definitely not Dany’s King’s Landing moment. The Bells isn’t Dany going “just a little too far.” That’s Dany going outright batshit and killing full on innocent people with no hint of regret - which Lawrence does regret his actions. So this fucking parallel is idiotic. If Emilia were meant to see Dany as “Lawrence of Arabia”, then that arc would be finished long before Season 8 because Season 8 Dany has no regrets of the violence she’s participated in. Lawrence struggles with that question constantly - as does Jon Snow. 

Lawrence's men take Damascus ahead of Allenby's forces. The Arabs set up a council to administer the city, but the desert tribesmen prove ill-suited for such a task. Despite Lawrence's efforts, they bicker constantly. Unable to maintain the public utilities, the Arabs soon abandon most of the city to the British.

Lawrence is promoted to colonel and immediately ordered back to Britain, as his usefulness to both Faisal and the British is at an end. As he leaves the city, his automobile is passed by a motorcyclist who leaves a trail of dust in his wake.

The bickering among Arabs could be the bickering among the Northmen when Jon is King, or it could be Dany dealing with the former slaves and masters in Slaver’s Bay, but it’s unclear. 

HOWEVER, being useful to neither cause and getting tossed out like trash when his usefulness at bringing people together and fighting their fights is at an end, is full on Jon Snow, and like Lawrence, he’s sent back to his place of origin: the Wall. 

If Dany’s story were to be parallel to Lawrence, she wouldn’t have slaughtered King’s Landing and would have gone back to Essos. 

Add to all this, Lawrence is a bastard son of an English Lord, struggles with his identity, struggles with his place between serving the British Army and his love for the Arab people, and lastly his squeamishness with unnecessary violence, and you’ve got Jon Fucking Snow.

I really have no idea when or why D&D told Emilia that Dany’s story was like Lawrence of Arabia. Honestly, after now having watched this film, I think they likely told her this back in the early days of the show, so of course Emilia wouldn’t connect this to Dany’s “dark turn” because Lawrence doesn’t fucking have this gigantic 180 like Dany does. That’s not what happens to his character so why would Emilia have expected that? Or expected Dany to die the way she did?? Dany’s “go too far” moment, in the series, would have been crucifying the masters. That’s it. The masters were evil and did something horrible and she was “punishing” them for it. And it was a great morally gray moment, which she later questions about herself. Just like Lawrence regrets his actions in the slaughter of the Turkish soldiers in the final battle in that film. 

But to compare Dany’s “The Bells” moment to the final battle of Lawrence of Arabia does not fit at all. 

It makes no fucking sense. Just like the rest of this pathetic dumpster fire of a season. 

[philosophicalparadox]

The Tragedy of Shemihaza

(Yes, the image quality is horrible, I’m sorry, Also, Shemihaza is masculine in what stories I could find. So I will be referring to them as a he for this bit.) 

Gather round ye, for I shall tell you the sad tale of the angel Shemihaza. It is a tale of love, of loss, and of hope’s wicked ways.  It is also the tale of the Grigori, for Shemihaza is the one who led them, and who ultimately led them thusly into torment.

Shemihaza is originally an angel featuring in Judaic lore, specifically in the Book of Enoch. (Old Testament). And his story, which I came upon last month, has been lingering with me. Hopefully, you will see why. (Hint: It has to do with the panel above). The story pans out thusly: 

Once, in an era not long before the Great Flood, God sent some two hundred angels down to earth to be humanities “keepers”. They were tasked with guarding and guiding the lost and hopeless man, for he was prone to all kinds of wickedness and was preyed on by it thusly. These two hundred angels became the Grigori, the “Guardians” of mankind. 

But the Grigori were not happy with their position, for though they were tasked with guarding and guiding mankind, they could not do so directly, and no direct contact between the beautiful Grigori angels and the equally beautiful creatures of earth was permitted. The angels were there in the case of calamity; they were not to interfere with man’s wickedness directly, as it were, rather through their presence encourage man to know what was right. (Same principle as a child behaving when parents are watching as opposed to being left to their own devices). However, they were not allowed to “relate” to mankind, meaning that they could not necessarily touch them, nor speak to them through their angelic forms, instead sending signs and such of their holy presence. 

But the Grigori were not satisfied with this. They wanted to touch man and woman alike, they wanted to relate to them, to speak with them as they were and for who they were, not for why they were sent. And so, “enchanted” by the beauty of the human realm, and of mankind themselves, the Grigori slowly began to “forget” and abandon their mission. They were tempted most by human women, specifically. And none more so than Shemihaza. 

Shemihaza, one of the leading angels, met and befriended a human woman whom he met while she was bathing in a river, ultimately falling in love with her.* He wanted, desperately, to be with her, but he could not, for their union was strictly forbidden by the nature of Heaven itself, and ultimately, by God. 

Fearful that he would be denounced (cast down, as Lucifer was), Shemihaza convinced the other angels of the Grigori to take up human wives, summoning them to a mountain (Mount Hermon, specifically) to issue the testament, as well as to get them all to vow (to their human wives). Shemihaza also vowed himself, to take the blame and shoulder the weight of any punishments should their heresy be discovered.**

Because of the amorous love that the Grigori felt for their wives and spouses, they began to spill unto them (and the men, too) celestial secrets, things such as medicine, astronomy, magic and witchcraft,  weaponry, armour making, the art of mining for precious metals, and all manner of other knowledge forbidden to man at the time. 

In time, the women that the Grigori bedded gave birth to a generation known as Nephilim, who were several times larger or stronger than their fellow men, and were known for their exceptional intelligence. Nephilim, for a time, lived in peace with their human parents and peers, for they lived by the same means as man, working and eating their food. However, they ate more food than crops at the time could produce, and as a consequence there was famine. When there was no more food to sustain their rapid growth and ravenous appetites, the Nephilim turned upon the humans in their villages, and ate them instead. Humanity tried, desperately, to defend themselves from their creation, but failed. They pleaded with God for help, for some end to the suffering of their kind. 

The Archangels (Seraphim, Cherubim, and Thrones), who were watching from the sanctity of Heaven, heard their pleas, and consorted with God to resolve the matter. 

Michael and Gabriel, the warrior angels, came down from on high to meet the war head-on, and to smite the Nephilim plague. Other angels came down too, with Rafael being the angel to seal away Asael (who would become, in christianity, Azazel) underneath the Dudael desert. Sariel, too, came down from on high to warn Noe (Judaic Noah) of the Great Flood that would be sent from God, to wipe clean the forbidden knowledge man had acquired, along with all the corruption that came with it (in the form of the Nephilim, presumably). 

Enoch, (the closest thing Judaism gets to Jesus), felt bad for the Grigori, knowing that a terrible punishment awaited them for their heresy. Taking pity upon the misguided angels, he informed them of the fate which awaited them, berating them for being led astray and warning them that they would not ever be allowed back into heaven after what they had done, but would instead be denounced (cast into Gehenna). Frightened, the Grigori pleaded with God to spare and forgive them, but they had sealed their own fates in His eyes. 

Enoch, after conversing with the angels, seen a vision of a place in which neither earth nor sky existed, but rather five endlessly burning pillars and a vast, endless void, the “Prison of the Stars”. 

Here the Grigori were cast for their crimes, bound by heavy chains by their Archangel brethren, and condemned to spend eternity wallowing in shame for their actions. Since some of the Nephilim of the war survived, and since mankind was left corrupt and “ruined” by them, God sent the Flood to finish them all off.

The Grigori could do nothing to save their wives, sons or daughters. They live with the anguish of that knowledge, and the shame of their disgraces, locked deep within the prison for the rest of time, crying for everything they loved and lost. 

NOTE: Because I am sure there are christian folk confused right now:

* Angels in Judaism have the same encampments as humanity; they have both free will, and a human-seeming range of emotions. 

** Also, I do not know the precise nature of Yaweh, the Judaic God, but from what I can tell, He is not held to the same “all perfect all the time” heraldry of the Christian God. It is certainly so, in this case, that angels are able to deceive Him.  

 Now, WHAT, you may ask, does this story have to do with Blue Exorcist? 

Why, everything of course. 

This is pure fan-conjecture, but I have a distinct sense that the Book of Enoch was an inspiration, perhaps, for the power structures in AnE. 

Looking at it Biblically, it breaks down as such:

On one hand, you have the Grigori, a benevolent order of angels who fell in love with humanity and wanted to share their knowledge with them. 

On the other, you have God and the Archangels, to whom that very thing is heresy and should not be tolerated. 

And in the middle, you have the Nephilim, who were driven by starvation (that they created) to consume the flesh of mankind. 

And making that same comparison to Blue Exorcist: 

On one side, you have the Grigori, a faction of the Vatican that have been around forever, who taught mankind how to fight demons (inside and out)

On the other, you have the Illuminati, lead by Lucifer (who, by the by, is a Seraph in his original, Biblical mythos)  whom serves the interests of Satan (who is also God) who want demonkind to rule the best of both worlds and couldn’t care less about the fate of humanity. 

And in the middle, you have the Nephilim, who are regarded badly by both sides for belonging to neither. 

Moreso, Shemihaza as she appears in B.E. talks about having forsaken her compassion  out of necessity. But what was that necessity? Was it when she was tasked with killing her own children, as I imagine she may have been, when mankind deemed them a threat? Or was it when her own brothers and sisters turned against her, against them? She seems to have a guarded expression, as though concealing her true feelings about the matter. 

And I deeply, and heartbreakingly suspect that she sincerely regrets what she has done, even if it was all done in the name of the ‘greater good’. After all, someone in her position surely has come upon thoughts about where that fine line lies, between what must be done, and what should be. 

Thoughts?

(Also, I totally don’t own the image panel used, Kazue Katou does, I just added colour to it because it was boring). 

[bills-pokedex]

Pokémon Ask Blogs: A Guide

{Also, on the back of the “don’t send in fetishy stuff” post, allow me to offer up a few tips on creating your own Pokémon Expert Ask Blog. Yes, there’s a story behind why this is related to the “don’t send in fetishy stuff” post. Tl;dr, don’t powergame, kids.

Aaaaaanyway, so you want to make your own Pokémon Expert Ask Blog! Starting up might sound like it’ll be a daunting task, but it’s pretty easy once you get the basics down.

Tip #1: Start Writing, and Do It Persistently

The granddaddy of all rules when it comes to text-based blogs: ya need content. Like, a lot of it. Tumblr’s always worked against authors, no matter what field you’re in. It’s just a natural fact of life that text posts get fewer notes and less attention than photos or art, so in order to gain traction, you’re going to have to be super-consistent and super-persistent with what you’re doing. And don’t worry about writing a mini novel or anything; a lot of blogs get along just fine with only a short paragraph or two per post.

You will not have a crapton of notes on every post when you start out, and sometimes, it can take months before you get anywhere. To give you an idea, I really don’t think this blog gained traction until about six months to a year in. (Granted, some people have gotten traction faster, but remember: those people aren’t everyone. And also, don’t compare your numbers to the numbers other people pull in. That’s a good way to burn yourself out.)

Finally, queues. Whenever possible, queue content. For example, if you know you’re going to have a lot of free time on a Sunday, consider writing up multiple posts and putting them all in queue so you’ll have something for Monday onwards.

Tip #2: Tags Are a Blogger’s Best Friend

Remember: the first five tags on your post are the tags your post will show up under, so use that to your advantage. Tag your post with the pokémon that you’re focusing on, as well as well-traveled tags like “pokemon headcanons.” The pokémon is especially important because you’ll be surprised how many fans every single one has, and some folks are dying for content, seriously.

You will, without a doubt, pull most of your readers through tags when you first start to gain traction. Yes, even more so than relying on your mutuals or sending your OC off to interact with others. Sure, the latter of those two sources can help, but there’s simply a bigger market out in the tag cloud.

Tip #3: Google Is Also a Blogger’s Best Friend

So you want to play a professor or pokémon expert, but you’re a college student who’s not even majoring in a science to begin with. No problem! You can 100% fudge it with the power of Google! Research everything you don’t know to the best of your ability.

A few protips on this, by the by:

* Academic websites and papers are usually the most reliable, and they’re not as intimidating to read as one might think. This is followed by news websites, of course, but be careful about which news website. BBC, CNN, local news stations, local papers = yes; Clearly Right Wing Term News = no.

* Don’t be afraid of zoo websites, government websites, well-funded organization websites (except PETA probably), magazines, and blogs run by vets or animal experts, either. (Yes, even if the latter sometimes look like they still think it’s 2006.)

* Contrary to what high school teachers might have you believe, Wikipedia’s science articles are actually pretty solid. No one wants to vandalize the wiki entry for an extinct marmoset, but you know who is editing that? Experts who want to talk about extinct marmosets. Also, most articles on the stuff you’ll probably need to put together an answer will have a mountain of sources to verify that, yes, everything on that page is by and large accurate.

Tip #4: It’s Okay to Fudge It

When in doubt, fudge it. As in, be creative with your science! It’s your blog, so do what you want! And anyway, this is a universe where a toddler-sized rodent can generate thousands of volts of electricity, so why should anyone stop you? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Just remember to keep your canon straight. Nothing’s more awkward than accidentally retconning stuff.

Still, word of caution about this: while the majority of your readers might not know the difference, some do, and if you’re writing a pokémon expert blog, you will probably end up getting mansplained to. It’s best to just roll with it or find creative ways to incorporate those corrections into your work. If all else fails ... limit who can reply to your posts.

Tip #5: Don’t Be a Dick

Soooooo ... powergaming.

To put it in short, that’s the act of deciding for other RPers what their actions will be—or, in a sense, playing their characters. With ask/headcanon blogs, it’s a little fuzzier what that would mean because ask/headcanon blogs feature a character talking about their entire world, but usually, it means deciding for someone else what is and isn’t canon to their blog—or, in other words, sending in-character asks that contradict explicit canon of another player’s blog or that would otherwise not fit with the way that player has designed their universe. A lot of players will let this slide, but it’s still really hella awkward to suddenly be face-to-face with a character who's asking about something that’s technically impossible for your world.

But more importantly, let’s talk about advertising. Do not use someone else’s blog to advertise yours, especially if you’re powergaming to do it. That’s kinda not cool.

Or to clarify, it’s okay to send in-character asks. That’s perfectly fine so long as you’ve read up on the canon you’re about to send or so long as you send the player a message, asking if it’s cool first. It is also okay to send in an ask to the effect of, “Hey, I just started this blog; could you promo me?” or a message to the effect of, “Hey, I have this idea; can we RP it between our characters?” The first instance involves you going out of your way to fit into the player’s universe, which then ensures that they have control over the content that they’re posting to their own blog. The second instance involves you actually going out and seeking permission to co-create content with the other player.

What is not okay is violating a blog’s canon or a player’s boundaries.

So for example, let’s say that Bill posts something like, “Komala eat coconuts.” It’s not okay to have your character go into that post, reblog or reply to it, and say, “Well, actually, komala hate coconuts, and here is a story involving my character that illustrates how this komala they know dislikes coconuts.” This is basically taking control of what is and isn’t canon according to Bill’s player.

Likewise, while it’s probably okay to send in an ask to the effect of, “Komala eat coconuts; I know this because I have a story about komala” (although please ask first or otherwise check to make sure it’s not violating canon first!), if Bill says, “No, actually, they really don’t like coconuts,” then it’s canon in that universe that komala do not like coconuts. If you really want komala to like coconuts in this case, please make a post to your own blog about it. Do not reblog Bill’s answer.

Ultimately, what it comes down to is this: a player has the last say in what is and isn’t canon on their own askblog. Period. Underlined.

Tip #6: Yes, You CAN Roleplay with Yourself

It’s also worth it to note that not every blog has to start out directly RPing with another blog. Yes, you can write independently! Granted, yes, not everyone wants to, but my point is that if your first post can just be you posting your own thoughts on the way the Pokémon world works. That and not everyone interacts with other blogs all the time. In fact, this blog got its start just making shitposts in the guise of pokédex entries not because I really wanted to RP but instead because I was trying to make myself laugh by posting as Bill. And for the most part, it’s still that; because the canon is so different compared to fanon and because this is a sideblog, I don’t really send Bill or Lanette out to interact with other people unless someone tags this blog in something. 

That isn’t to say I’m not open to it or that everyone has to be like me; it’s more saying that it’s okay if all you do at first is construct a story for yourself on your own blog. If your character and the world they live in is interesting to the rest of the fandom, people absolutely will stop by because people either love hearing about their favorite pokémon, or they love hearing about how this one scenario they’ve thought up will play out in someone else’s world. So don’t sweat it if you find yourself talking to the void for a long period of time.

If anything, consider it freedom because in space, no one can hear you yeeting actual canon out the window.

Tip #7: Yeet That Canon

Final tip: The more you think about Pokémon canon the less it makes sense. It’s just ... it’s just like that. So yes, it’s okay to treat canon like some sort of all-you-can eat buffet where no one’s going to judge you for putting the hot fudge sundae toppings on a slice of pizza. Pick and choose whatever canon you want or disregard it all. Take your blog and run with it. Eat that pizza with hot fudge sundae toppings, you absolute animal.

And most of all, best of luck!}

[theonyxpath]

Yes, we’re down to the last week of the Contagion Chronicle Kickstarter – and so I know you’ll all be sad to know that it’s my last week of coming up with awful pun-ny titles for this blog based on the KS.

(Never fear, in several weeks we’ll be starting the Pirates of Pugmire Kickstarter campaign, and you KNOW I’ll have pirate titles for the run on that!)

(Of course, I may just title them “Yarrr!1”, “Yarrr!2”, and so on.)

But back to The Contagion Chronicle!

We’re looking to finish strong on Thursday, so this is really the home stretch. Hopefully, at this point, backers are able to tell whether the project is intriguing them based on the text that’s almost done being released.

And hopefully, folks who are wondering about backing have seen enough from backers posting here and on social media, and the various Actual Play vids that Matthew and James have linked to, to give the project a shot.

Remember, you can back for a mere pittance and get the chance the review the text yourself without being locked in to pledging at the end. Well, at least until it really is the end on Thursday – at that point Kickstarter charges everybody!

Also, by backing at a bit more than a mere pittance, you’ll also receive links to the PDFs of the two Stretch Goal projects that have been being built up throughout the course of the Kickstarter when they are finished. More locations and some alternative rules in the one, and guides to crossovers on a more nuts and bolts level in the other.

Adventures For Curious Cats illustration by Pat Loboyko

Mighty Matt McElroy wanted me to thank all of you that made our 20th Anniversary WoD books PDF sale a huge success! We’re thrilled that so many of you took it as a chance to catch up on some of the WoD20 books you hadn’t yet checked out! Thanks!

He also mentioned reminding all you awesome people that we have two sales on physical books going on at Indie Press Revolution: for physical hardback copies of the Pathfinder rules edition of the Scarred Lands Players Guide, and for the Deluxe 20th Anniversary physical books that IPR still have in stock.

Or, if you prefer, Studio2 also has the Scarred Lands Players Guide – Pathfinder edition – physical books on a deep discount sale right now. You can check out the links below in the BLURBS!

We’ll be having some very cool info about the Scarred Lands Creature Collection for 5e coming up in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that. I’ll say this now, the monster art is looking gorgeous!

Book of Oblivion illustration by Drew Tucker

Following up on last week, we immediately started using the new Errata Form for the Geist 2e and Trinity Continuum KS backers as Backer PDFs went out to them.

So far, the form seems to be working fantastically, so thanks to all of you who have used it for sending us your feedback on these two projects!

Along with that, it’s our plan to wrap up the situation with the Scion 2e errata this week. Neall is working on a message for our Scion community to go with the fixes and a downloadable errata sheet, and our shipper is supposed to start sending out all the KS packages this week.

Our apologies to everyone concerned, frustrated, maddened, or just confused by this whole thing. We truly appreciate everyone’s patience in letting us take the time to delve into what happened, and the extent of the number of errata fixes that got “unfixed”.

It’s like that warning on airlines to don your oxygen mask before assisting others. We had to end our own confusion before we could explain what happened and how we’re dealing with it. And that’ll come later this week.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution illustration by Marco Gonzales

One other thing I wanted to note, which came out of the Scion errata thing, but has popped up before, is that when I’m writing this blog, I generally have to bear in mind that for any given situation I’m trying to address, there are many segments of our community I’m addressing.

What I mean is that sometimes I will make a point during discussing one thing that is also addressing other concerns that other members of our community have. These are folks that maybe don’t feel comfortable voicing their concerns in the dangerous seas of social media, but who have sent me private messages. I need to be responsive to them – but I don’t want to “out” them.

(And there are also those private messages that rip me a new one, that I also don’t share because I’m not here to get into flame-wars, but which have items in them that aren’t true and I don’t want to leave unaddressed).

In both those kinds of cases, if you see a series of messages and I respond and seem to veer off to talk about something else that’s not directly prompted by the thread – this is what is probably on my mind with my answer.

After all, we have a community containing folks of all ages, all kinds of interests, all walks of life, and who may love one, some, or all of our game worlds, and I need to always bear that in mind and try and give everybody the connections they need to explore our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Now in it’s LAST FEW DAYS, the Contagion continues to spread, passing 1275 backers and infecting all in its path with more and more Stretch Goals! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/200664283/contagion-chronicle-a-chronicles-of-darkness-cross

The Contagion Chronicle actual play continues on the Onyx Path YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/WR92yIuafU4

He also asks for your Contagion Chronicle-related questions here: https://youtu.be/axvrFeQOvEg

Matthew’s interview on Flames Rising about Contagion Chronicle: http://www.flamesrising.com/matthew-dawkins-is-infected-with-the-contagion-chronicle/

Our next Kickstarter starting in several weeks will be for Pirates of Pugmire!

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Charles Bates

On this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast, our team takes a deep dive into the epic “Greco-Apocalyptic” fantasy of The Scarred Lands game line! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

It’s a new episode of the Onyx Path News from host, Matthew Dawkins: https://youtu.be/Cjqey_N3_jQ

Matthew also lets loose several previews regarding Mummy: The Curse Second Edition here: https://youtu.be/X9lbz4TWY9s

If YOU have a podcast, YouTube or Twitch channel, or talk about games on a blog or other website, and want to perform actual plays or make reviews of our games, please reach out to the Gentleman Gamer on the Onyx Path forum. From there we’ll share emails and get you started, so when you do start producing content we’ll be able to promote it on our blog and YouTube channel!

The Contagion Chronicle actual play continues on the Onyx Path YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/WR92yIuafU4

Red Moon Roleplaying have commenced their actual play of Scarred Lands, in a campaign Matthew Dawkins is running named The Great Vilhaim Heist! https://youtu.be/QUFVS4g6gDg

Caffeinated Conquests also continue with their foray into the Scarred Lands, with the Gauntlet of Spiragos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lVL40fkPX8

And as if that wasn’t enough, Devil’s Luck Gaming are still hard at it on the dangerous seas of Scarred Lands on their Twitch channel! https://www.twitch.tv/DEVILSLUCKGAMING

The Story Told Podcast have not one but two shows for you to check out, as they continue their chronicle of Dragon-Blooded for Exalted 3rd Edition, and have even reviewed it today! https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/

Here’s the Gamer’s Table again with their They Came from Beneath the Sea! actual play: http://gamerstable.com/cheesy-sci-fi-horror/

Cheesy Sci-Fi/Horror

And Occultists Anonymous, the Mage: The Awakening chronicle, also continues here: https://youtu.be/i4NNs_G0NNw

If Vampire is your thing, here’s an actual play of the Blood War for Vampire: The Requiem on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhai2P1uktAzDEch4d1r2JZir0VqUrBQJ

And the Dramatic Failure podcast crew continue with their Geist: The Sin-Eaters chronicle too! https://dramaticfailure.podbean.com/

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

Onyx Dice!  We’ve recently released the Changeling: The Lost, Trinity Continuum: Aeon dice, and now the Geist dice.  Next up on our radar is: Demon: The Fallen,  Mummy: The Resurrection,  Kindred of the East, Vampire Dark Ages, and Mummy: The Curse.

We have a serious issue on the Pixel and Motorola phones that prevent the user from using the app correctly.  A fix is coming shortly.  A temporary workaround is to minimize the app without shutting it down, and then restore it.

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio 2: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

The Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) and WoD 20th Anniversary Deluxe sales on IPR are still going until the end of the month!: https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Deals-and-Specials/

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’ll be offering our monthly Exalted 3rd PDF releases on DriveThruRPG!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: May 31st – June 2nd From the US comes Eddy Webb, Matt McElroy, and Rich Thomas to join with Matthew Dawkins, Steffie de Vann, John Burke, Chris Allen, and Klara Herbol! Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year.

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Blood Sea: Crimson Abyss for 5e (Scarred Lands)

DR:E Threat Guide (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Editing:

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Post-Editing Development:

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Indexing:

Trinity Core

Trinity Aeon

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Ex3 Monthly Stuff  

Chicago By Night – Art coming in slowly but surely.

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Contagion Chronicle – KS.

VtR Spilled Blood – Hiring artists.

M20 Book of the Fallen – Contracted.

Dark Eras 2 – Getting artnotes in from devs.

CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel – Contracted.

Pirates of Pugmire – KS art contracted, sketches and finals coming in.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – With Josh.

Shunned By the Moon

Scion Jumpstart

Aeon Aexpansion

Proofing

C20 Player’s Guide – At WW for approval.

The Realm

Book of Oblivion – Inputting last corrections.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – At WW for approval.

Signs of Sorcery – First Proof.

Trinity Core and Aeon Screens

At Press

Scion Hero – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Origin – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Dice – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Scion Screen – At Studio2, preparing to ship to backers.

Fetch Quest – Shipped to backers, prepping PoD version.

In Media Res – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Geist 2e – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Scarred Lands Spell Cards – PoD proofs ordered.

Adventures for Curious Cats – Going out to backers.

Tales of Excellent Cats – Going out to backers.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

Today is Earth Day, and we live here, so let’s celebrate doing what we can to keep Gaia alive!

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Three : THE DESOLATION OF THE GRINDR USER

« Grindr is a sociopath nest », Anonymous 

Grindr was launched on March 25, 2009. About a month or so earlier, I lost my virginity to the sweetest guy you could imagine. I met him on what we could consider one of Grindr’s ancestors, Gaypax— I still have that account, out of nostalgia. The design is so ugly I wonder now how I did spend so much time on it (we weren’t picky back then…) So Grindr was born at the exact time my sexual and romantic life was unfolding. It means that, except for the few years I’ve spent frenetically masturbating to La Redoute’s underwear catalogues and downloading dirty pictures of Brad Pitt naked with a very slow wifi, I’ve always been accustomed to gay apps.

Recently, the new and improved french magazine Tétu published an article called « Faut-il brûler Grindr?». Though not as detailed as I was hoping it would be, it did not changed my general opinion about the dating app paradigm. 

FLASHBACK France, 1971. A young gay man living in a beautiful city called Paris. Mike Brant just released his first major hit, Rock’N’Roll is slowly dying and Les Bidasses en Folie is this year’s biggest success at the box office. Unfortunately for him, the Gay Rights Movement is just at its infancy, homosexuality is still considered a mental illness and sodomy is punishable by law. So he shut his mouth and do his dirty business privately. he spends time around Place de Clichy and finds very discreet bars that can welcome him without too much judgement. He takes long walks toward the Tuileries bushes and sucks a stranger’s dong without any verbal exchange. He ends up marrying that fine young Marie, daughter of a friend of his dad, makes a couple of kids and from time to time, goes back to those places, shameful of himself.

That was the life of a gay man in France. If he didn’t get killed along the way. CUT TO 2009. Grindr is the first official gay dating app launched around the world. In France, the ban on sodomy disappeared in 1981 and since 1992, you are no longer considered a crazy person for being attracted to a person of the same sex (well, not from an official medical point, anyway). The app came to fruition through a simple question asked by its creator, Joel Simkhai : « WHO ELSE IS GAY AROUND HERE? ».

By 2012, 4 million people were using the App. 27 million as of 2017. Tinder followed in 2012 — you are welcome, straight people. Then SCRUFF, GAYROMEO, HORNET, BLUED, … What is wrong, then ? You damn well know something is wrong.

SMARTPHONE, 21st CENTURY’S NEW BACKROOM

If you go to a bar, you have to talk to the bartender, exchange a least a fews words with strangers, even dance as your look around and are being seen by others in the flesh. If you go to a gaybar, the same thing happens. If you go to a gaybar then the gaybar’s backroomn, rules change.

As the dating apps was closing in on worldwide domination, it became clear that the natural human kindness and respect would ultimately have no effect on the way people would communicate with one another on Grindr. I’ve been working in a bookstore for the past four years, you see. I expect a “hello”, “goodbye” and a smile during any interactions with clients — from them and myself. So there’s nothing more annoying that someone coming up to you, barking what they want to and leaving without any civility whatsoever. The Grindr equivalent would be Step 1 : A DICK PICK (or ass pick. I once had a fisting commemorative photo sent to me) straight up. Step 2 : A terribly convenient “cc sava tu ch?” or a “cho?” Step 3A : If you are polite enough to answer something, a conclusive “tu reçoi” or “tu bouge” Step 3B : you did not answer a singe word and the guy either sends you a “????” or insults the shit out of you. I sometimes do not answer impolite clients at work. Guess what ? Bitches say hello if you stare down at them long enough. On the internet, never gonna happen.

I remember the first couple of times I went on Grindr. I tried to answer everyone, even a “no, thank you”. There was always some “Hello”s, “How are you?”s, a few “My name is”s. But as the years went by, gay men (as I mostly talk to gay or bisexual cis men on these apps, I can only give my opinion on that category of people) adopted a series of unofficial rules to talk to each other.

1. If we are on this app, we are ready to fuck. 2. We do not have time for small talk. 3. We do not need your name, but dick size and multiple nudes are welcome. A picture is worth a thousand blablablahs. 4. We need to be very precise about what we want, so as not to waste our precious time. 5. Seriously, give us a full diagnosis of your body shape through pics, boy. 6. Chems ? 9. There are no rule 7 & 8, because 6 & 9. Now, turn around.

There are also lots of personal rules users seem keen on sharing them publicly as to implement unofficial rule number 4.

NO FEMS, NO BLACKS, NO ASIANS

“Pretty chill guy here. Very open minded and friendly. I love men from different cultures. Just no Asians. Asians leave me alone. I’m not racist” “Don’t message me. I’ll message you :). No Blacks Asians or fems. Love it when fats call themselves masc. hahahaha.” “Tell me if top/btm. Don’t really believe in “vers”. […] Attracted to Latin & White (trying to sound PC)” “Chill masc sane… just described nobody on here… Over 35, Asian or fem = block.. haha” “99% of you are losers. I’m the top 1%. So prove yourself first” The last one was written by a white male, by the way. They all were.

In our modern society, we’re not fools enough to believe that racism disappeared and everyone is accepting of others. Just look at the whole series of events called “while Black” where white people called cops on black folks for getting out of their airbnbs, talking in a Starbucks without ordering or falling asleep in a communal room at college. Nevertheless, you don’t see parades of racists proudly marching with “NO BLACKS” signs on the streets — you see another type of marches, yes. Free speech and stuff, sure. So why has it become acceptable in people’s minds to shade light on their racism in their profiles, barely hiding behind the “sexual preference” bullshit excuse ?

In an article dated September 2018 called “Why is it OK for online dates to block whole ethnic groups?” (2), the Observer related the appalling anecdote of an elderly white man who responded to a Grindr user of asian descent : “Asian, ew gross”.

I myself was told that I was too fat, too small, too twinkish, then not enough of those, or too white (but so we’re clear : RESERVE RACISM IS NOT A THING. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A THING!).

Racism also works with the beliefs that if you look or act a certain way, you obviously are what someone’s fantasy is. You are a black man so I assume that my hole will expand by ten once you’re inside me. You a blond light weight with feminine traits. You’re a submissive bottom and a real whore.

The world works on assumptions (ex : the myth of the BIG BLACK DICK or the for-sure global instinct that Tom Hanks would never have to face any #MeToo accusations) and apps follow that same path but without any policing. The absence of ramifications from someone’s actions further implement a feeling of unapologetic mindfulness — the same way being in a dark backroom with strangers you can’t see does not seem to add any consequences to what you’ll do next.

Recently, Grindr tried to course correct its past errors by creating “Kindr” (3). Was it a new app that would prevent people from actively using hate speech ? WELL WHY DON’T YOU PREVENT IT ON GRINDR THEN ? Was it a new platform to exchange ideas and experiences so that we can find another way to communicate together ?

Here’s how they introduce Kindr on their official site : At Grindr, we’re into diversity (MONEY), inclusion, and users who treat each other with respect. We’re not into racism, bullying, or other forms of toxic behavior (YOU ARE THE TOXIC BEHAVIOR). These are our preferences, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to better reflect them. Same app. New rules (DID YOU THOUGH?) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Their type. Their tastes. But nobody is entitled to tear someone else down because of their race, size, gender, HIV status, age, or — quite simply — being who they are. (AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT PUT YOUR BUSINESS IN A RISKY POSITION) Join us in building a kinder Grindr. (DO YOUR OWN DAMN WORK). Express yourself, but not at the expense of someone else (OR US). Report discrimination when you see it (LIKE WITH THE JEWS BACK THEN. ALSO, WE THE USERS, ALREADY DID THAT). Use your voice and share your story to call out prejudice and spark change. Together, we can amplify the conversation and take steps towards a kinder, more respectful community (SEE, WE AT GRINDR ARE WOKE).

There you have it. A marketing scam to ease the pain of millions of users whose relationships and self esteem were affected by Grindr’s lack of interest in their consumers. How many years did it take for a simple statement from the CEO ? What’s actually concrete about these actions ?

in the community guide lines, it is stated that they “will remove any discriminatory statements displayed on profiles. […] Profile language that is used to openly discriminate against other users’ traits and characteristics will not be tolerated and will be subject to review by our moderation team”. FINE. So, if someone says “no short fat asians”, theoretically it would be removed from the profile. But if it says “more into vanilla and spice than chocolate and rice. So hit me up if this is you” (an actual Grindr profile, by the way), what can a Grindr moderator do about it ? The racism is still there. Are we to believe that EVERY single profile is being reviewed in detail ?

#deletegrindr was a popular hashtag over a year ago. I’m not on twitter and I still heard about it. Was it a cultural shift in the way gay people wanted to treat other gay people ? Were we on the verge of a revolution ? Nop. Grindr released data informations of thousands and thousands of profiles about HIV status (something that you can put on your Grindr profile) to third party companies. Since then, Grindr released the Kindr initiative and rewrote its policies.

I’m not against dating apps. I think it was a wonderful tool back in the day to extend one’s horizon, explore and experiment with love, sex and adventures. It no longer works that way. I didn’t even talk about the spreading of drug using through profile description and the real danger of stimulants in someone’s sex life.

#deletegrindr should come back and this time, it has to work. Silicon Valley, go make an app from scratch. One that would implement actual kindness to the machine, not based on popularity. Think of what people need, not what they want. People are shitheads. I’m a shithead. What I want is never good for me.

And YOU. You, little queer boy reading this. Don’t go on Grindr before going to bed to check the hotties in your area. Forget about that 6'2 monster cock Swedish god that lives nearby and offered you a quick hump for the ride. Ask him for a drink, put down your phone, get to know him a little and then fuck his brains out. You’re still gonna fuck but you’ll find humanity where there was once none.

That’s my preaching for the night. I gave up long ago on apps. I delete them all and stay away for months. Then, I feel lonely and get back to one or two. I met this new guy that way (4).The nice thing about it was that we did not talk dick sizes, favorite positions or any sexual desires until way after we actually met (and we’re talking two full weeks of messages). I’m not on any dating apps now.

(1) https://tetu.com (2) https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/sep/29/wltm-colour-blind-dating-app-racial-discrimination-grindr-tinder-algorithm-racism (3) https://www.kindr.grindr.com (4) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ezra_Miller