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tsukiyadori · 5 months

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Reading Log 2024.04 - April

Previous: Reading (Watching) Log 2024.02-2024.03 - February-March

Reading languages: German, English, French, Japanese, not listing which was what. (There's also been some feeble attempts at Chinese.)

Titles are as I’ve read them either first or most and thus remember it for that title mostly

Not going to bother putting in the original titles of translated reads unless there is something worthy of note to it

Cursive titles have been completed

Some notes' content may be subject to repetition here and there, as I also copied some older notes from casual conversations over and didn't go through any rounds of cutting things down.

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APRIL

I now have a new phone lockscreen wallpaper. (See entrance image. It's from How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon a.k.a. To Be or Not to Be chapter 71). The moon being pretty, and a thing for me is kinda self-explanatory given my alias names, but usually you find images with moons to have them being all on the upper part of the image, because obviously moons are up there in the sky. However, for phone lock screens this is incredibly unpractical, because on the upper part is the time display and that one's white... So this one is perfect with the moon not being on the upper part but the lower part of the image. I wonder what blossoms there are supposed to be. I'd guess peach blossoms (with the village being called literally Peach Blossom Village, but wasn't it supposed to be summer in that timeline? And peach blossoms bloom in March to April.)

I found out that you can add any number of tags, but tumblr kicks everything bar the first 30 somethings upon saving and among those displayed only the first 20 actually will count for showups if you want to filter posts with that hashtag. Or like search on the phone app. What the heck. What do you mean I need to actually choose the most important ones now each time. D:

Maybe I should try do monthlies after all, so there won't be as many tags to begin with.

I feel like this is gonna just be a rambling about one particular series this month anyway...

I have learned something new this month. The Chinese have a slang word called 'dog blood'. It's apparantely coming from theater where death scenes were enacted with dog blood and first was about extended nonsensical farewell speeches of death scenes but eventually expanded to describe all sorts of cheap cheesy lines in general. Or in other words, this is basically synonymous to what I call bad, rotten or trash cheese.

Light Novels:

7th Time Loop v2

Brunhild v1-2

By the Grace of Gods V12

Dragon Live Online p8-11.5

Hell Mode v3p1-3

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order)

Is it wrong to pick up Girls in a Dungeon v9

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56

The Eminence in Shadow v2p6-8

The Executioner and Her Way of Life v1

The Faraway Paladin v1-2

The Saint's Magic Power is Omipotent LN v2p1-v3p6

Unnamed Memory After the End v1p16-22

Unnamed Memory LN v1p1-2

Wolf and Parchment v4-5

Your Forma v4

Manga:

Aiko und die Wölfe des Zwielichts v1-3

Ano Natsu ga Houwa suru. ch17

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1

August 15th

Buta no Liver wa Kanetsushiro ch35.1-2

Dance in the Vampire Bund The Memories of Sledgehammer v2ch5-8

Delinquent Daddy & Tender Teacher v3

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8

Don't Call Me Daddy

Ein schicksalhafter Bund mit dem Fuchs v1-v2ch11

Fake it to Break it Ch1-8.3

Feng Yu Jiu Tian ch1-4

Flying Witch v11-12ch73

Get the Moon

Goblin Slayer The Singing Death v4ch16-19

Goblin Slayer Year One v8

Goblin Slayer v12

Hallo, ich bin eine Hexe und mein Schwarm wünscht sich einen Liebestrank von mir v3ch15

Hiso Hiso v4-6

How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer Ch1-4

In Sachen… Geheimnisse (v3)

In Sachen… Vertrauen (v2)

Intoxicated East Wind Skimthrough

Iron Cock Skimthrough

Isekai Transporter ch1-4

Isekai de Ane ni Namae wo Ubawaremashita ch18.1

Kakan no Oukoku no Hanagirai Hime ch12.3-13.1

Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi v1

Ki ga Au to Iu Koto wa v1

Kijima-san & Yamada-san Ch17.3-24.2

Knitter's High ch27.1-2

Koisuru (Otome) no Tsukurikata ch82-83

Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai ch12.3-13.1

Korsar der Liebe v1-3

Like Milk & Honey v1-2

Living With My Brother's Wife Ch12-15-48

Lonely Castle in the Mirror v1-3

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru ch31

Maid-san wa Taberu dake ch48

Mein Isekai-Leben v1-v4ch12

Mir dir im Wunderland v2 (ou of order read)

Miryou no Otome to Katabutsu Hittou Majutsushi no Hatsukoi Kiroku bangaihen3-4

My Awkward Senpai Ch71-75

My Elder Sister v5-6ch44

My Not-So-Fair Lady is Doomed! (But Not If I Can Help It) Ch1.1-4.1

My Roommate is a Cat v6-8ch24

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2

Okazari Ouhi ni Nattanode, Kossori Hataraki ni deru koto ni Shimashita ~Usagi ga Iru no de Hitorine mo Sabishiku Arimasen!~ ch25.2-26.4

On or Off v1-4

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2

Ryuko v2

Sasaki & Peeps v1

Shuumatsu Touring ch37.1-2

Soko ni Suwaruna

Suicide Notes Laid on the Table Ch20-35.1

The 6th Loop: I'm Finally Free of Auto Mode in this Otome Game Ch1.1-3.2

Tokyo Aliens v7ch29-33

Unamed Memory ch36.1-2

Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi ch38.1-3

Yomei Ichinen to Senkokusareta Boku ga, Yomei Hantoshi no Kimi to Deatta Hanashi ch11.1-2

Webtoons:

Breed my Dear Enemy Ch182-194

Fall in the Night with You Ch72-73

Flowers in the Secret Place Ch89-155

Her Atypical Story Ch0-5

Ice Lamp: The Chronicles of Kira Ch45-48

Taberare Usa ch99-101

The Blind & The Homeless Ch8-42

The Goddess of Healing Ch67-79

To be or not be Ch24-95

Notes:

To Be or Not to Be (reread on Comikey in progress): So well, the first time was a bit not as attentive and then too quick on binge last month so I simply started from the beginning again. And it's so funny in hindsight that it took me until starting the novel to realized this fellow is just about as aroace as you can be (who slowly drops into a demi-romance). Like, I should have had caught the hint latest with this:

(Difference between a brotherly love or one between lovers)

This is, if you think about it, not the sort of question you'd normally ask, especially not when somebody just confessed to you and there is no homophobia theme nor desperate denial at play, and you don't even doubt that it's meant seriously and can even see that the feelings are genuine. It's.... totally a question I'd also ask, tho. No wonder, this entire progression of that romance and him taking so long to catch on just felt so plausible to me.

Other than that, I still think the first season (up to their first separation) is a pretty great adaption, it takes shortcuts and adds some more flourish at places. The second and third seasons however, after reading the novels now feel excruciatingly chopped, although it still manages to do the most important scenes right. But much of its worldbuilding and side characters is just gone, and some things are still there but don't exactly make any sense - like that hairband from eunuch Zhao that snapped, it ever was only shown intact in the webtoon, but when Xiao YuAn goes to bury his box of mementos there is Hong Xiu's hairpin this broken hairband. Or the list of names of fallen soldiers. Other little changes make sense, and some just seem clunky. (Like this whole "I want to bed him" in the last arc has an entirely different vibe considering they had been at it before already unlike in the novel.) And my complaint after the first read that the last third just seems way too focused on the two MCs with zero inclusion of the side characters or expanding the world, the novel in fact is like that still in that arc, but it already has done all that in the second season, which was nearly entirely cut in the webtoon (or if you look really closely there are some one-liners or random panels showing it) and does some more in the extras, which the webtoon doesn't adapt. Still it does get many of the most important scenes right and the art remains pretty. (Except the last third still has me had this eyelashes issue. Whyyyy.)

How to Survive As a Villain Novel ch46-57, ch181-183, Ch58-75, ch209-210, ch206, ch196, ch76-136 (and some other random scene cheery picks completely out of order): When you go like, let's read it slowly so it lasts longer!! and that even works, but then you just start reading backwards and then all across all over the place out of order anyway. Oh, well....

I already got some clear aroace moods with Xiao YuAn in the beginning that I read last month but upon reading on.... this fellow's really about as aroace as you can be without naming it. It even goes all the length of establishing him as somebody who doesn't understand it at all, has to ask about it, and questions the veracity of the answer at places. (And I still think the "sexual orientation" bits on the official character bios on both him and Yan HeQing are a complete riot. 😂) They both look very demi to me; if that original novel is to still apply Yan HeQing falls for somebody who extends their hand when he's in anguish and suffering and over that emotional attachment he develops feelings (and then it's a dam breaking). For Xiao YuAn it's obviously very slow burn and building one little pebble atop another until a wall that makes him feel safe has been built.

What I thought was incredibly interesting tho, Xiao YuAn still comes off as pretty ace even after all is said and done. And he doesn't exactly know it - he continues to live with a misconception that's just incredibly widespread and not known. In that same scene from the above webtoon snippet he asks Yan HeQing what sort of like/love is he even refererring to. Does he know the difference, is it a brotherly/comradery feeling or one between lovers. That's also what is in the webtoon in Chinese (I actually went to check that one out), but the novel (which scene I also went to check out, at least what web version I could find in Chinese) has him be much more crude and to the point to put that question between that brotherly like/love or if it was one where Yan HeQing would want to have sex with him. (Which he answers rather clearly as having very much some voracious appetite for him in that respect, the answer is still there in the webtoon.) Now put this next to each other. That's his idea: The love of lovers is something that includes sexual desire. Sound familiar? Uhu. He even suggests in lieu of answering him that they simply do the deed. In order to learn and find out. The man's got some very wrong ideas right there. A few of them seem way too dumbly familliar.

The hilariously funny part is, Xiao YuAn proceeds to be incredibly unhinged about this spice stuff afterward. He is going for it, he does the most outrageous things, but he does them in a way that just feels entirely clueless or he realizes just how extreme they are after it's already done or shortly about to be done and he reflects on it and feels incredibly stupid. And most of all, if he causes a dam break in Yan HeQing who, all seduced and riled up, can't help but eat him up rather ravenously he always winds up wailing for him to please stop, because kinda, he didn't have that in mind at all so much. It's like he never really is aware of what he's gonna get himself into and doesn't really learn his lessons either. But also, once he gets touched, he is plenty able to feel sexual pleasure, he doesn't exactly hate it. It's just... it seems more like a passive body reaction, a sort of being okay with it, rather than an innate desire out of attraction? He never seems actually thirsty for it (unlike Yan HeQing who is incredibly straving for it, but knows it and restrains himself constantly.)

He's the first to initiate and propose them doing it and is notoriously stubborn about getting Yan HeQing to do it, but also says it's not like he is in a hurry (or like coming off as badly wanting it because of an actual proper desire like Yan HeQing always has), but it's just he feels like they'd never get the right timing to do it at all otherwise. It makes him sound desperate, like he feels a duty to actually do it and guilty for not doing it, almost as if he has to prove something. And whenever Yan HeQing kinda distances himself from him for whatever reason his go to is to try seduce him and break his self-control for forced up intimacy. (And then just winds up regretting it, because it's too much.) And it seems to entirely not align with what he actually wants and needs most fo have exactly that connection he seeks. After that last dramatic reunion in the third part where Yan HeQing is so out of himself and selfcontrol he wants him so badly tied to bed and everything like those innermost desires he once told him (but never actually executed like that, because he doesn't want to hurt him), Xiao YuAn instead just wants to hug him. He's wanting physical intimicy, but it's more about lying in one another's arms for a peaceful sleep. Every single time when he's still oblivious to it all, but clearly already attached, he just has Yan HeQing accompany him to spend some quality time together. He's the one who wants to have dates even as they weren't named such and even has to explain that thing about it's simply to just spend some good time together to him. (All the while Yan HeQing is so thirsty wanting to steal kisses from him.) And whenever he fawns over the man, it's kinda suspiciously in just aesthethic ways...? (well for what I've read anyway.)

30% of it feels more like a sort of playfulness, a sort of stubborn competition, fueled by those "tyrannical president" antics, which trope he entirely is not, but spent his entirely past life being forced into being and still very much influences his thought process. Almost as if if he doesn't get Yan HeQing to jump at him, it's like he is lacking in attractiveness, something that chips away at his self value. Another 30% is him appearing like he considers it the thing to be done, almost as if he owes it to him, especially as he knows that Yan HeQing's wants in that regard run much deeper and notorious. Yet another 30% is him kinda just enjoy everything before the actual act. Like as if getting him to do it is the goal rather than actually doing it. He clearly enjoys the teases to break Yan HeQing's defenses, his self-control, his stoism. And even as he knows some of his things are kinda outrageous, he, to some extend, still enjoys them. It's kinda the same thing with his fixation on terrible tropes and cheesy lines and everything 'dog blood', it's excruciatingly terrible, all trashy, but he can't help but also kinda look forward to it. The last 10% are... really just him having no darn clue. Like however did he think that red silk bondage was a good idea??? 😂 Maybe I should not laugh as me, surely I'd be just as dumb myself if it ever came to be...

Other than that I quite like how the isekai/transmigration thing plays out.

Xiao YuAn doesn't really get to be all OP or a sort of cheater because of being from a modern world - that is not as a plot device. There are some indications and little details that he does bring in some modernization, like proposing that meritocratic exams system the actual historical China also has had, but it's never really played as a plot point that flaunts his superior knowledge or anything. What he ultimately winds up tackling - corruption, decandency - are things entirely the same still in the modern word and he's also struggling with it all the same as he would in any modern world as well. He knows the future by the plotline, but beyond having a better grasp at insight to their character and be nice to them Hamefura-style, it's at the same time also kinda the obvious thing to do as a decent person. And he's having plenty ability to have an insight on human nature and getting other people liking him even without the cheat skills from the novel plot as his time in the TaoYuan village proves.

I still absolutely do not like that bit about Xiao YuAn's brother, he just remains a complete plot device, but that the doppelgänger from Wester Shu gets to wake up in the modern world as him to improve on his own depression and helplessness was a nice touch. (One the webtoon should have rather have, when it had them actually have a conversation with each other, rather than how in the novel Xiao YuAn only every saw him from a distrance and asked about him. He remained a completely stranger there, so him kinda not having as much compassion to upkeep his past identity's honor seems more plausible. Especially as he's introduced as a good guy, unlike that Nothern emperor who is a scummy villain (and then even he got to have a little bit pity left for him by the original book's ending for him with is love affair.))

That and how it's part of how Xiao YuAn has a few deep seated traumata and in that way that they don't seem obvious at all, because he drowns it all in his smiles, his goofy riduculousness, his apparant ability to just let grudges go when all he does is just to bury them and run away. All that load, it didn't just magically disappear in his new life, no, they come to wreck him even in this new world. He has baggage and a new life doesn't magically fix it nor is this fantasy escapism world it the solution to it in the end. How many isekai tales actually make use of this oppotunity to add some more emotional development? We never really learn much about how he lived his life in the modern world, but little insight is there only describes titbits to establish the origins. But it was never really addressed in his childhood and it wasn't cured at all either, nor is it likely that it's curable at all. Those scars are there and with his futile struggles they only got worse culmating in his rash and terrible decisions. What ultimately keeps it in check and just puts a lid on it without erasing it, is being showered with that love he was missing his entire life by Yan HeQing and his found family in the village and also realizing how the easy way out of it has devastating consequences.

Speaking of that found family, it's really too bad, that got cut so much in the webtoon. While there is still a tinge of it with Lin Shengling getting all touched that Xiao YuAn's place is kinda his maiden home of sorts and Xiao YuAn and all accepted in that village with really close bonds with especially the Zhan family, which family to begin with is a patchwork family. Yang LiuAn and Xiao FengYue kinda become brothers of sorts to him, and old lady cohabitating with them is a sort of motherly aunt there. There's just no ill will in that village (which is its whole point with being kinda called a little paradise on earth.) And also it's just got these beautifully blossoming trees. (Now are those peach blossoms or not??)

Oh and speaking of found family and all closeness and intimicy that there is and which is being perfectly aknowledged as something Xiao YuAn holds dear and misses and seems just so attractive, even as he is perfectly fine with living in the capital with Yan HeQing, which the latter also perfectly respects and encourages. There is also this bit in the extras about Hong Xiu, how it was Xiao YuAn, who tended to her worst fears she never expected anyone to expect and treated her with gentleness, a sort of she hadn't phantomed to ever get. And as the man speaks fondly and caring about her and Yan HeQing get jealously concerned over "do you like her", Xiao YuAn is all he's probably jealous about the girl again, but also that Hong Xiu never was part of of his harem. And then he has this to say to him:

Way to just get things right. (And she definitely ripped a hole into his heart, once she was gone and even keeps visiting her grave years later. Also really too bad that the afterwards about how curruption cut short his support for her family forcing her sister to become a maidservant, too.)

Other than that I just want to scream: Why could I not discover this a mere two darn month earlier?! That the pre-orders for that Singapore Rosmei edition is already closed and me not having entirely any idea at all how to get it anymore sours me, doesn't help at all, that apparantely that edition is gonna get some new unrelease extra chapter (although that is to be in v3, so technically I won't be missing that one............ whenever the other two volumes are going to be released anyway.) Apparantely there's even another chapter exclusive to some Chinese Edition from a publisher called Via Lactea and I have absolutely no idea how that one's supposed to look and how to get it. And to learn this right when I pondering about looking for some Chinese proxy for getting the books in Chinese, too, now obviously I want that edition to learn what that extra chapter is about. Hhhhnnnng. (Apparantely there's also a Spanish edition licensed with the art of the Rosmei edition, but I know no Spanish...)

Other than that, I still riducilously miss out on those footnotes the aggregator sites have just went and killed. Also, I just found out that the one single site that had the extras beyond chapter 210 kinda did some move and the entire title has vanished from that one's new site. With that there's porbably no place to read the fantraslation of it anymore. (At least for that one I had the epiphany of going though all the chapter sites to make a safecopy last week, I don't really want to know how dkfhkdjfhkjdfh I would have been, if I missed out on reading them just like that from one day to the other.)

In any case, this one as rekindled my interest in the Chinese language, too. Linguistically/writing style speaking this novel is also highly up my alleways. It's chock full with idioms (I image them to be complete utter pain to translate), historical references in those idioms, but also it has all that meta stuff about tropes and everything along with modern slang usage. And it's just having the right amount of twinkling parody of tropes, indulging just enough in it for some guilty pleasure but still managing to have an well build up emotional rollercoaster plot of its own that dances with Xiao YuAn's goofy ludicrousness at times in one hand and heavy hitters in the other. And considering, that it has not newly invented any wheel whatsoever - about every single element in there is something that on its own you can find elsewhere as well - but still manages to get me this invested into it is kinda rather impressive.

Speaking of impressive---

Mein Isekai-Leben a.k.a. My Isekai Life v1-v4ch12: Now that on the other hand is an entirely different sort impressive, or more like, I am astounded by it. Which is to say if I had to use one word to descibribe it it's 'listless'. This is an incredibly listless OP MC cheat skills power-fantasy. It's also... incredibly boring. Brainless. Everything you get to see here is something that has been done elsewhere in way, way better already. I only read all those vols because I just happened to have them there and then I just kept going after the first volume because I wanted to know how in the world is this managing to survive at all. It's a manga adaption of a light novel, both are sitll ongoing and runnning. How does this manage to be this reasonably popular to warrant this??? (After v4 I still didn't really know, so I gave up.)

Wolf and Parchment v4-5 (5 sitll in progress): Ok, so volume 4 was kinda okay in the end, not so much a slog anymore, although the the conversation between Even and Col about how Col would definitely go and prioritize Myuri was pretty interesting, putting into question how long he's gonna last to stick to his he's gonna be a priest and not just take Myuri's handand he's still all that's never gonna happen. (Like hell it won't?!) Then volume 5 started and I was kinda blown by surprise over that bit about them being in this weird space of having a bond, about how she keeps calling him brother despite also saying she is romantically in love with him, because there is no other way to qualify this at all and him also realizing the weird place he is with his attachement to her, too and then the whole crest thing is there, and how every single one involved with it immediately understands it's significance. Something for them, only the two of them, something special, but it's not lovers or marriage. Something else. And it's also hard to get, because how in the world are you gonna explain two people with no tangible relation neither blood nor marriage, wanting to share a crest together? are you just gonna pretend something that pleases general plausibility, while it kinda contradicts its actual purpose? Owoooh, how cool is that. I suppose I really had no trust in this series (or media in general) that this wasn't going down your bog standard romance route.

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard v13p15-56 (that's somewhere into chapter 2): I am making some progress in reading that one off, but admittedly even I am surprised how slow going it is sonsidering how hyped I was about it before its release and then put it off for health reasons because I totally expected I'd just binge with in a marathon with no regard to sleep and food. If I had to put a finger onto it, it's kinda, the first chapter wasn't exactly uninteresting, but also really not very getting be invested either. The second chapter just entirely starts of with discomfort with having this Chinese classmate sobbing about how he is terrible in school and his father is livid about it and just the general vibes of Chinese mentality. Like. Ouch. And it also immediately stiffled my interest in Chinese again that How to Survive as a Villain has sparked up again. Distancing from that language is kinda like distancing from that general mentality for me and looks like I still can't really separate them enough to just enjoy the language without having the culture behind it poison me.

Unnamed Memory After the End: Still very much at the start, but it docks onto where the first series stops before the grand time skip. It also just picks up on a few things that were left unaddressed in its second half. And here is me wondering, if Myralis and Valt will show up again or not. How it ended for them - which by world mechanics has to be a bad end and then they don't even get mentioned - still feels narratively very unfair to me, with all the effort spent on describing their motives and backstory.

Flowers in the Secret Place - finished: This is another series I just read though chapters over chapters wondering why even, until it kinda went decent enough somethiing around chapter 70? from 155 chapters. The only reason I looked into it was because the art is kinda decently pretty. The reason I made it across the first chapter was that.... the MC wears bunny hair ties. Yes, stupid reason, but here we go. The male MC is possitively annoying, the second male lead is much more interesting but takes a whole while to pick himself up. The backstory and its resulting triangle constellation actually winds up being decently interesting.

Rebirth Two Lives I Still Love You ch0-2: Same author as How to Survive as a Vilain, different artist, which... doesn't look exactly bad, but not even half as appealing. This one's also not Isekai, but Regression. Also it looks incredibly cheese. Motivations for reading on were a bit low, but maybe it just takes a bit? Knowing me I will check it out anyway...

My Unexpected Marriage Ch1-10.2: This isn't even an Isekai, but it uses the Isekai cheat skill trick of using some pretty modern contemporary things and common sense, put them into an Ancient-y setting to make everything run overly smoothly for the MC. In terms of plot and characters I cannot say I am wowed. Nevertheless, it is set in Ancient China-ish of a setting and even if the female MC's big eyes innocent gentle shoujo face kinda clashes with the rest, there is definitely some effort spend on all the wardrobe and ornaments. It's pretty enough to keep going. The mystery plot that points to court intrigue is okayish enough, too.

Mushoku Tensei v1p1-6: The way the horny is put in really is a bit "...", there it really just goes, does an overly genuinely touchy feely monologue about how someone is great and how the guy is emotionally touched and everything, only to destroy it with the twist that he stole her unwashed panties. It was a whole block of text about how in his previous life he was a shut in a loser, somebody with serious problems, social anxiety and getting out of the house issues included and the girl took him out for a magic exam, insisted it had the out there and he really is unconfortable with it, you can get really into how this little bit is just a major milestone for him, something nobody in his old life has managed or even tried. But then it just had to goe like and then he remembered that he still had those unwashed panties in his room that he had stolen some month ago. Argh.

At least that horny father seems to have at least some punches to get, and the setup of this guy being a completely loser, but actually it's not like he always was, he was even better but never learned modesty and that being his entire downfall out which he has now learned. This character is a pretty well set up antihero, he is all sorts of terrible, but in that one moment where Truck-kun came he pushed that whoever away with no regards to himself. (and it doesn't get flaunted as that one big good deed.) He also helped Sylphie, and that started without any horny ulterior motives either. (I was half wondering there actually if, with all that attraction to her, when he still thought she was a he was opening up some queer route, but looks like not.) He, at the bottom of his heart, does not seem to be a bad guy, and he has some serious baggage, that he is trying to treat himself with this new life and gets the occasional unintentional help. Will be interesting how his own inhibitions and knowledge about all the bad things of himself bring him on the road to serious betterment. But then also. He is already entirely, totally hopelessly horny cringe.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru a.k.a. 7th Time Loop ch31: (That's the chapter about Arnold and Rishe talking about the ring, once it was delivered). I wanted to scream at Arnold and Rishe rocks with giving him a piece of her mind like that and also totally underestimates the amount of heart flutter she gets into when she goes and gives the man such a free pass to court her. A very wide load of good faces.

Intoxicated East Wind, Iron Cock, August 15h, Feng Yu Jiu Tian: Stuff from the artist of How to Survive as a Villain's webtoon from some 10 years prior. You know when you like one thing of somebody and then go check out the rest? And then you find out it's dubCon, nonCon, rapey, horny porny whatevers and melp. And by the translator's note from August 15th, apparantely that title is some slang euphemism for buttocks. Because the moon is the roundest on that date, so it's the perfect moon so it's buttocks. I'm like what? The art also look nowhere nearly as good as the artist is able to be pull off in How to Survive as a Villain. I wonder if they are going to have some new work. Couldn't find anything from after its end in 2022.

Don't Call Me Daddy: Nice to have some adult characters there. Like adult and then elderly. And how homophobia has wrecked their life, but it's not even the main theme. Again some discussion about different sorts of wants, but uh, the one that solves that one was that guy getting... a boner from a kiss? Huh. What would ye have done, if he didn't? (Well probably that would have been an entirely different story I guess...)

Domestic na Kanojo v5-8: Collection of notes made upon/right after reading the vols:

v5: Let's continue the exhibition of the worst of cheese afflictions. But I did not see that escalation downwards coming... okay, cheese affliction puts other people into danger, both intentionally and unintentionally... Actually the latter case is even worse as it is a danger of livelihood one... ....... ok, wait, isn't this already sexual harrassment now???

v6: Just go for them both already, those sisters don't even look like they'd mind it that much.

v7: Your cheese affliction is gonna ruin your life.

v8: So, now we have blackmail, coercion, extortion and a kidnapping as well as faking somebody's identity without their knowledge nor permission. Alright….

….. this however

(Title: How to recover, panel 1: My humble self has a bun, panel 4: RESSURECTED, the bun: HAND OVER THE SNACKS)

.............. is just some supreme truth out of complete nowhere.

Are You Okay with a Slightly Older Girlfriend? Ch2.4-16.1: I thought this was called into quesitonability because of the age gap and at the beginning I had some qualms, because she is outright deceiving him, but that gets wrapped up quickly enough and then I thought it was just gonna be cheese with age unsecurities, but I suppose if those massive boobs didnt alrealy make an indication, this thing's just way to much flaunting them and playing the horniness bits in way too much of an extremely.... kinda dumb way. With a tint of seriously thinking about these issues. (Also mentions of kink and no shaming allowed there, that sister knows how to enforce authority.) And that makes it both hard to outright drop, but also a pain to suffer though...

Brundhild v1-2: Volume 1, 'Dragon Slayer" is a revenge story out of titular Brunhild's love for the gentle and wise dragon, who is killed, gone haywire. She does all her misdeeds wholly aware for what they are and how innocents are getting in the crossfires and how it'll land her in hell - where she can never be together with the dragon again who went to paradise and had very much warned her to not go for revenge when he fully knew he was gonna get slain. She… is kinda, well, yandere isn't the right word, but she definitely is very much badly obsessed by things and worst she knows it herself, that the one she loves doesn't want it and still doesn't stop. I can't say I was wowed, but maybe that's partly because I read it in French and for the second half I was in deadline before expiry pressure and forced it though without looking up a bunch of words I wasn't too sure of. It feels pretty conclusive, so volume 2 'Dragon Princess' at first was incredibly confusing, with it having a Brunhild as a MC again and also some other guy having the same name as v1 Brunhild's brother. And suddenly the dragon is an evil one. Was wondering, if it was some sort of reincarnation next life plot, but then the personality of the characters are very different. Eventually it turns out to be a prequel. V1's Brunhild and her brother were names after the characters of v2 who lived centuries before them and in her family those famous names were often bestowed to children again. V2 I think is pretty good, interesting characters, has some more side characters, very good world building, again a love story but it's entirely different, also very much different ending and lore and it twists your expectations for the world coming from v1 and then actually winds up explaining v1's worldbuilding, which in v1 I thought that outside of the dragon island on its own was, uh, kinda, yeah, it's sorts of just there?

V2 also has a side character who suffers from not feeling love of any kind and having little empathy. Yet he is not entirely unfeeling either and he can be very much devoted looking much the part almost as if there was love. It looks a lot like it's the usual story about yeah and then this magnificent awe inspiring good natured lady is gonna make him find those traits again. It ultimately does not play out this trope the way you'd expect and I thought that it had the galls to do that was downright courageous.

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msmoon-and-the-cyberdemon · 1 year

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I keep finding myself going through the TF2 OC tag so I’m gonna infodump on Jack Lore (Even if I’ve probably said it in previous posts) (Also comes with sketchbook drawings that don’t make sense!)

The man that operated on Jack and turned him into a vampire was actually Medic’s grandfather. I headcanon his grandpa was also interested in animals, and finding ways to mix their genes with humans.

Jack kills him- (specifically, eats him but I’ll explain later) immediately after the operation. Later on, Jack admits this to Medic, thinking Medic was gonna be mad at him. But apparently, due to his grandfather’s mysterious disappearance, his whole family had made a bet of how he died. A cousin jokingly said that he was eaten by a cannibalistic patient. Now Medic’s mad that he’s gonna win the bet, out of the whole family.

(Also, Medic’s okay with the whole Jack killing him. It’s not like he got to know him anyway.)

Now the thing about the “eating him”. Jack is seen with a pair of fangs, but the thing is he filed those fangs himself. The operation only gave him the bloodlust and extended lifespan, but no fangs. And with said bloodlust hitting him like a semi truck and nothing else to control him, Jack straight up devoured the doctor, to the point where the police who came to check couldn’t even identify the body. They thought it was just spilled organs from other animals.

Also- he’s afraid of surgeries and doctors, but overcomes it after meeting Medic.

Jack is half-English & half-Chinese! English on his father’s side and Chinese from his mother’s.

After his whole first arc, he reunites with his mother and spends the rest of her life with her, learning Mandarin from her, ‘dealing’ with robbers that try to harm them and helping out in her little grocery shop.

His mother dies later on. The only thing he remembers about it was finding her sitting near the window. It was a full moon.

From there, he continues travelling. A lot of stuff happens between that and him getting to the TFC, but it’s not really important.

It does influence how he got to be a V.I.P. in the Escort game mode in Team Fortress Classic.

He was a frequent one, and often got to see first hand what goes on, and it was exciting.

So, during one match, he actually swipes a gun from one of the teammates and “helps” them.

By the end of the match, Classic!Heavy (or Cain, my hced name for him) was pretty pissed at Jack, but everyone else was impressed enough to recruit him in.

Usual shenanigans happens.

Everyone learns about his case and are cool with it.

Him and Cain have a bit of a… fling during his time there. Which makes things awkward during the comic’s events

Jack was also close to Beatrice. They like messing with each other and even casually flirt, but in the end, they’re good friends.

After a few years in the team, Jack just- leaves out of the blue. Completely. He was let go to take care of some personal stuff, but as a result, history of him and his class was archived. Maybe to make sure nobody learns that there’s a way out of this job?

(I’ll end it here for now, but I’ll make a part 2!)

#my things #oc trivia #my ocs are my children #jack tag #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 oc #tf2 tenth class #team fortress oc #team fortress classic #tfc heavy #tfc pyro #tf2 medic

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the-daydream-archives · 1 year

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Get to Know Me_Sims Edition

got tagged by @olya-occult-lover and @van-yangyin, thank you for the tags :D I have a tendency to ramble so this is gonna be a long text post so feel free to skip this if you don't feel like reading.

1. What’s your favorite sims death?

Ngl, I personally find death iffy when it comes to playing Sims since I get way too attached to my characters so much that I never get past Generation 2 while playing the game with the Aging off. xD The most bearable death in the game that's okay with me would have to be the Drowning Death Moodlet since it reminds me of the first Sims game. (tho even back then I'd rather take care of sims than kill them at all) Any time one of my sims gets a dying moodlet, I internally panic and make sure that they evade death by all means possible. (I ensured each of my played sims have death flowers in their inventories as well as those different items that make them immune to death)

2. Alpha or Maxis Match CC?

Both! I never understood the war between the two styles since they're both just CC to me. Basically, if I like something then I like it. Both have their unique characteristics and their flaws. No need to match it with the game since no matter what one does, your character will stick out anyway thanks to the custom content itself. That being said, I like both as long as they aren't unnecessarily high-poly.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

Back when I was a kid I used to, thanks to my own personal challenge with body dysmorphia so I never had a healthy relationship with weight. Now older, I don't have a problem with it at all with my sims since I now know it's just a normal part of life.

4. Do you use move objects?

Of course! I doubt anyone would ever build without using that cheat. It's basically essential at this point.

5. Favorite mod?

Any mods from Gauntlet101010 and @baniduhaine :D I fell in love with Gauntlet's work through their Grim Reaper mods very early back then since no one else at the time catered to occults. And now, I really like baniduhaine's work since they also cater to a lot of things that occults really lack in-game (their occult bloodlines mods and plantsim mods are just <3 ) If you're a big fan of occults, please check out their work! They're really neat!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I remember buying Cat and Dogs first if I remember correctly??? Not sure tbh at this point since it's been a long time. But at this point, I prefer other means asides from buying now. If you get it, you get it ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

aLive. I would liken it to how a reporter would say, "We're now live." Though I am unaware if there is a correct way of saying it in the first place. But if there is, feel free to enlighten me :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

...this is a difficult question... it's like being asked which one's your favorite child. So how can I possibly choose? But since that is not at all the case, and hopefully my characters stay fictional it would be the rundown of the following in no particular order: Pancakes, Bacon, Hamburger, Chocolate Chip Cookie, Mixed Berry Milk, Ice Cream (Cone), Sugar Cookie, Cow's Milk, Bear Burger, Strawberry Shortcake, Goth Burger, and... *proceeds to list the rest of the Food Sims Series Cast*

9. Have you made a simself?

In recent years no. The last time I did was back when I used to play Sims 1. I was never fond of making real-life people. Characters, on the other hand...

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

The main 3 traits I would give myself are the following: Creative, Perfectionist, and Geek. Extras that would be applicable are Dog-Lover, Family-Oriented, Socially-Awkward, and Foodie.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Whatever you call this hair color?? Also, I got carried away with editing so uhh, enjoy? (Yes in the photos are Pancakes and Chocolate Chip Cookie testing out the in-game hairs...and yes they do look quite cursed as blondes so I rather imagine them testing out wigs for a play or something.)

12. Favorite EA hair?

Despite its flaws in texture, it would be this hair from Dine Out. (It also quite suits Pancakes methinks.)

13. Favorite life stage?

Typically Young Adult. I also don't mind Teen, or Adult. And when I do make Elders, I kinda make sure they don't die lmao. I was never that attached to the kids, infants, or toddlers life stages unless they're the love child of my Sims.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Despite its non-existence, I was originally there for the gameplay then I got into building. (But since I poured all my efforts into CAS these recent years, I've forgotten how to build now smh)

15. Are you a CC creator?

I am :) though I mainly specialize in headgear accessories. I find it a necessity nowadays to know how to create my own Custom Content as I'm never content with my sims unless I reach what I envision for them. Not to mention the lack of CC that caters to my personal tastes which makes it even harder to stay as a simmer that is only a gamer. I guess I could say that I became a creator solely out of necessity. Though that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the process of creating. On another note, maybe one of these days, I'll try learning how to make hair or clothing since there are still concepts there that I wish was available for Sims 4.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

Do my mutuals count??? There are a handful out there that I am very fond of although we never had a proper conversation. Then there are those that I did talk to and I apologize for the experience of talking with me since I am not very good at socializing asides from comments. I wish I could talk to my mutuals more but I become too nervous conversing in real time that I sometimes just nope out of the conversation. If this happened while we're speaking, it's not you, it's most definitely me lol

17. What’s your favorite game?

What Remains of Edith Finch, The Stanley Parable, The Beginner's Guide, The Sims, Cube Escape & Rusty Lake Series. (I mainly stick to narrative-oriented games or point-and-click adventures)

18. Do you have any sims merch?

Nope, EA doesn't need any more money.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nope. Though I do watch Sims Youtubers from time to time. (lxdice, Plumbella, itsqwertyluvs)

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

It changed a lot. I won't say that my style got better or anything like that as that would do past me a disservice. I think it's fairer to say that my style got more fantasy-oriented when I began to understand the available CC resources that I had. My Before Simstyle is probably around 2017-2020 while my current sim style is now 2021-present. Ngl, if I ever get back into actually playing Sims 4, I'd probably use less CC similar to my sim style previously.

One is not better than the other, it's just heavily dependent on what mood I feel like when I create sims.

21. What’s your Origin ID?

Nope, don't want to share.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@moo2shelly (thank her for my love of foodcore CC, just sad that she's deactivated ), @vampirepill (again deactivated, I seem to have a recurring theme), and sims 4 haku at Twitter (again deactivated :') )

As for favorites that are currently active it would be @saruin. @skaays, and @gigglecoffin. (Hope you guys have a good day :) )

23. How long have you had a simblr?

I joined the Sims Community around 2020 I believe? Though at the time, I only stuck to the Sims 4 Studio Website. I think I've had this account since November of 2021 though I only started posting in January 2022. This account was only supposed to be a way for me to keep track of CC creators... I didn't expect to turn into a CC creator myself.

24. How do you edit your pictures?

I take photos using Geforce Experience while simultaneously using Reshade and CAS Lighting to achieve the best results. Then I go edit the photos in Photoshop or Canva. I also recommend using Nvidia Inspector to help fix the Graphics in Sims 4 to make it look better.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

Probably Cottage Living <3

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

Fairies, Circus/Clowns/Jesters, Bands, and PlantSims. (Especially that last one, please make it into an official occult.)

Tagging @westernraspberry @bnt0 @lunarspellsims <3 <3 <3 (If you guys are busy, feel free to skip this!)

And holy heck, this was long but I hope to those that made it this far that you enjoyed reading this :'D

#other #personal #simblr ask game

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ariel-simslover · 10 months

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Get to Know Me: Sims Style

So I saw @moyokeansimblr do this tag and it made me really want to do it so here I am lol!! Anyway, let's get started!!

_______________________________________________

What's your Favorite Sims death?

Probably Starvation...I have many memories of locking sims in rooms...umm WE ALL KILLED SIMS OK!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

I'm a bit of a mix, It used to depend on the game but now I'm just a Mix of Alpha Cc and Maxis Match. For hair, I'm Alpha ish, and for clothes, I'm 4t2 and alpha.

Do You Cheat Your Sims Weight?

Nope! I really don't care honestly, as long as my Sims are living their best lives lol.

Do You Move Objects?

Yes, I do! Can't live without Moving Objects at least once a play sesh! I also move Sims too...

Favorite Mod?

Ugh, I can't just pick one I have several. The ones I can't live without Are ACR, Monique's hacked computer, Honey Honey Skin defaults, the new 3D lashes mod lol, and Reshade. I'm a modding addict so... I can't pick just one I could go on forever lol.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

I started playing the Sims 2 when I was 6, so I honestly can't remember what my first pack was. I just remember being excited about a lamp, my love of decorating started that day lol. My first memory of getting a pack that I can recall was Sims 3 Supernatural.

Do Pronounce Live Mode like aLIVE or LIVing mode?

I say LIV mode always have and always will! I always forget there's other ways to even say it.

Whos Your Favorite Sim that you've Made?

I love this one sim I made in the Sim4 I think she's so cute imma try to remake her in the Sims 2 one of these days. (Posing with a Permmade in this photo)

_______________________________________________

Have You Made a Simself?

I have in the Sims 4 but not since I switched back to Sims 2.

Which is Your Favorite Ea Hair Color?

Red! I always loved the red hair it's so cute! (Only pick I could find)

_______________________________________________

Favorite Ea Hair?

Always loved this one!

_______________________________________________

Are You a Builder or Are You in it for the Gamplay?

I do both actually! Depends on what I'm in the mood for. Lately, it's been mostly gameplay.

Are You a CC Creator?

Unforentaly no. I don't even have the skills to recolor things lol.

Do You Have Any Simbler Freinds or a Sim Squad?

Nope, I am relatively new to the SImbler world but I have interacted with a few members.

Do You Have any Sims Merch?

Sadly no unless the Sims 3 disc counts lol, I used to have Sims 2 discs..but an indent happened that I won't let my mom live down lol (Nothing bad lol)

How Has Your "Sims Style" Changed Through the Years?

It has changed a lot. I like many would roughly play one family causing as much drama and chaos as possible, ruining their lives and any passing townie....Just me? Now I play very wants-based and let the game guide me on what to do next. I find it fun when my sims pick what path they go down, I've gotten so many fun storylines like this.. I also play rotationally so I always have several families I play.

Who's Your Favorite CC Creator?

Ooo this is hard! Hmm if I had to pick one probably be @lilith-sims I love everything I have from them!

What Expansion/Game Pack is Your Favorite?

University is my favorite in every Sims game. But I also love Sims3 Generations!

_______________________________________________

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this post because I had so much fun making it! I have no one to tag so if you'd like to do this tag as well let me know I'd love to see it! With that said have a wonderful week and I'll see you all soon!!

#sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #Sims #Ts2 Post

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umbralreactor · 2 years

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It occurs to me that I have this thing so I can dump the various lists and other thoughts relating to whatever hamster has jumped on the wheel in my brain to run its little paws off, so I should probably do that, huh.

This time, the thing that's rattling about is, specifically, the way the various Exotic weapons are implemented in Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous. I am going to put this behind a Read More, as I did in the past, because it's lengthy and only of interest to a select crowd. The "shorten lengthy posts" thing exists now, but best practices, you know.

Now, before I do this, I will specify that I am not taking the actual itemization into account, this is all purely on the merits of the weapons themselves. There are metagaming factors involved whenever discussing this kind of thing, of course, which is why a Fighter/Mage in Baldur's Gate 2 might want to specialize so they can use katanas and hammers, so they can dual wield Dak'kon's Zerth Blade in one hand for extra spell slots and Crom Faeyr for 25 strength in the other, but that's getting a bit far into the weeds for this kind of thing.

The other question is "why the hell are you bothering with this," and the answer is that in the Midnight Isles DLC, there's a roguelike mode, and each run after the first gives you something called a "tailwind." These are various bonuses. There are thirty, you are presented with three, and you must pick one. One of them is the "Whimsical Tailwind," which causes all Exotic weapons to hit as if they were one size larger (1d8 to 2d6, and so on). This is a tremendous boon in the lower levels, before you're stacking so many bonuses that the weapon itself is largely irrelevant, and I will largely be judging things in that context.

So, first off, let's go with the light weapons.

First off is the Kama. 1d6 slashing, x2 critical. This is only notable because it's a monk weapon, so monks can do their Cool Monk Things with it, and maybe you'll run into something where you need slashing damage, like a zombie. If you aren't a monk, it's crap. And even then, its value is dubious. In tabletop, the kama has the Trip tag, which means "you can use it for Trip attacks, and if you lose the roll and get tripped yourself, you can drop your weapon instead of falling down," but none of the special tags are implemented, which means that a lot of weapons are missing their raison d'être.

Then there's the Nunchaku. 1d6 bludgeoning, x2 critical. Same thing as the Kama, but worse, because you already do bludgeoning. In tabletop, it has the Disarm tag, meaning you get a +2 when attempting a Disarm maneuver, but again, that's not implemented.

Finally, the Sai. 1d4 bludgeoning, x2 critical. The smaller damage die is offset in tabletop compared to the nunchaku because, in addition to the Disarm tag, it also gives a +2 on Sunder Weapon attempts, but since none of that is implemented, you're just left with a worse nunchaku, which is in turn worse than using your fists, unless you get lucky and find really good magic ones, I guess.

So the only light weapons are all monk weapons, and the only reason to use any of them would be "you are a dual-wielding rogue with a dexterity of Yes and just enough strength that your knees don't buckle when you put on your armor," but since the bulk of rogue damage comes from Sneak Attacks anyway, there's only so far this can go. I guess you can be a Knife Master and dual wield sais so you're swinging with a pair of d6 weapons and still getting those d8 sneak attack dice, but that mostly feels like a parlor trick so you can get bludgeoning sneak damage, and I doubt it's worth the feat (or level dip) to get an average of one extra damage.

Now, on to the one handed weapons, and there's more of a selection here.

First off is the bastard sword. 1d10 slashing, 19-20/x2. It's a longsword with a slightly larger damage die, there's not much to say about this one. It's pretty good, but remember: the context of this is the Whimsical Tailwind that makes exotic weapons have bigger dice.

That's why I much prefer the Dwarven Waraxe: 1d10 slashing, x3. On paper, it's basically the same kind of split as longsword versus battleaxe, but in practice, the waraxe wins out for a very simple reason: Dwarven Weapon Familiarity. Dwarves treat the Dwarven Waraxe as a martial weapon, which means that if your dwarf has martial weapon proficiency, they can just use this weapon for free.

The estoc is in a similar sort of position: the bastard sword is a longsword that gets a slightly bigger damage die, the dwarven waraxe is a battleaxe that gets a slightly bigger damage die, and the estoc is a rapier with a slightly bigger damage die. 2d4 piercing, 18-20/x2, and finesseable. There's not really much to say here, it's just "if you need a one handed piercing weapon you can finesse, the estoc has you covered."

However, the Dueling Sword gives the Estoc a serious run for its money. At 1d8 slashing, 19-20/x2 critical, it's basically just a longsword that you can use Weapon Finesse on. This is probably not worth a feat in and of itself compared to anything else, but you can take the Aldori Swordsman background to gain proficiency with it for free (in addition to bucklers and adding Persuasion to your class skills). There are also feats that exist specifically to support use of the Dueling Sword, and an entire prestige class devoted to its use, although if you're going for Aldori Swordlord, you may have taken the Aldori Defender archetype for Fighter anyway.

The Falcata is 1d8 slashing, 19-20/x3 critical. It strikes me as for people who can't decide between the better threat range of a longsword or the bigger critical of the battleaxe, and are willing to spend a feat to get both. There's not much to say about this one, really, but if you're not a dwarf and willing to spend a feat on the exotic weapon proficiency, this seems a good choice.

The Tongi is 1d6 slashing, 19-20/x3 critical. It is a strictly worse falcata, and even in tabletop, there is nothing going for it. Apparently it was a Light weapon in Kingmaker, thus giving it a place, but it's just garbage here.

Next up I'm going to do the double weapons. Double weapons are interesting in Wrath because of the way they're implemented compared to tabletop. They maintain the original benefit of "slightly better damage die compared to two light weapons," such as a double sword's 1d8 to the short sword's 1d6, but they lose the benefit of "if you're only making a single attack, you can count as using both hands so you get 1.5x your strength bonus." (Or at least, I think this is the case, as I haven't tested it. I probably should.) However, they gain a new benefit, which is that you don't have to pay to have each end of it enchanted. So if you're buying weapons, instead of buying a pair of +5 weapons which can be pretty expensive, you just need the one.

Anyway, the weapons. Double sword, paired 1d8 slashing, 19-20/x2. It's the equivalent of holding a pair of longswords (or, if you've got a Whimsical Tailwind, a pair of greatswords). There's really nothing special to say.

However, for much the same reason the Dwarven Waraxe beat the Bastard Sword, so does the Orc Double Axe beat the Double Bladed Sword. 1d8 slashing, x3 critical, but half-orcs treat it as a martial weapon, so they can use it for basically free.

The Dwarven Urgrosh is in a similar sort of position as the Orc Double Axe, as it's an exotic weapon that dwarves can use as a martial. Same 1d8 damage with x3 critical, but the big difference is that the main head of the urgrosh deals piercing damage instead of slashing. There are situations where this matters, but not enough to tilt you towards dwarf or orc for this. The strange thing is that the urgrosh loses the Brace tag from tabletop, but seems to get the die size of the spear end increased to compensate, which is the only weapon to get compensation for not being as capable as its tabletop counterpart.

The Gnome Hooked Hammer is another one that can be used for free by the right race, but in this case the race is Gnome, which means you are Small, which means you move slower and your weapon damage die is smaller. But with Whimsical it comes right back up, so it's a net wash. The main head deals 1d8 blunt damage with a x3 critical, and the off head deals 1d6 piercing with x4. So I guess if you're making a gnome ranger or slayer or something it can be pretty good. Loss of the Trip tag doesn't hurt it too much, as it's a perfectly competent weapon even without that.

And finally, the two handed weapons. This is a much shorter list, since there's just the two.

There isn't much to say about the fauchard. 1d10 slashing, 18-20/x2, reach weapon. Normally I'd shrug about if the one extra threat range over a bardiche was worth the feat, unless you were a Fighter and thus had feats coming out of your ears, but for a Whimsical Tailwind, it is absolutely worth the feat for the slightly expanded threat and better damage dice. This is another in the "lost the Trip tag" club, but it's another one that fares just fine without it.

The elven curve blade is weird. 1d10 slashing damage, 18-20/x2 critical. So you'd think that it's another longsword/bastard sword situation where you have to either spend a feat or be an elf to use a slightly better falchion (2d4 slashing, 18-20/x2), right? Well, mostly, yes, but the thing about the elven curve blade that always struck me as odd is that you can use it with weapon finesse. Which is fine, I guess, but it's a two handed weapon, and two handed weapons get 1.5x their strength modifier when used two handed, and if you have enough dexterity that taking weapon finesse seems like a good idea, odds are pretty good you didn't go hard enough on Strength to make it super worthwhile. I guess if you have a feature that lets you use Dexterity instead of Strength to calculate your damage bonus, it might get a 1.5x multiplier too, but I don't have a character handy I can use to test this.

Now, there is a ranged exotic weapon, but it's not terribly worth getting into. The Sling Staff is 1d8 bludgeoning, x3 critical. It's not worth it even with the Whimsical tailwind, because "is it worth it to spend a feat to go from Piercing to Bludgeoning" is a "hell no." If it's worth it to go from 1d8 piercing to 2d6 bludgeoning should be a "hell yes," but the problem is that ranged weapons are potent in Wrath not just because of the "you don't have to move to take your full attack" thing, but because of the things that make bows stronger. You're stronger initially thanks to the bigger damage dice, that's true, but you lose out on Manyshot, Bracers of Archery, and Hurricane Bow if you have some way to apply it or have it applied for you. The better damage dice are a nice early boost, but you can live without it, and you will absolutely be feeling the lack of all those other things later, when the bulk of your damage is coming from various bonuses more than the actual dice of the weapon. This is another one that didn't come out of the translation from tabletop as well, because it's properly the halfling sling staff, meaning halflings should treat it as a martial weapon, but they do not. It also lost the ability to be used as a club in melee, but "can be used in both melee and ranged combat" is a feature that was generally lost and made a lot of other weapons just strictly worse.

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kangyeosaang · 3 years

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#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

thank you csenge @imdefs for tagging me to show how i made this set ✨

buckle up folks this is gonna be long bc min. character limit uni papers thought me a lot of things but def not how to be concise

01. planning

this was a long time ago but i do remember wanting to make something with overlays bc quite honestly i started working on this way too late and it seemed the fastest lmao. jokes on me i had 2 failed attempts and this also went through some changes along the way. initially i wanted to combine dye, bol and present:you... them being my fave eras for this lovable dumb man. so it would’ve been one pair for each gif.

02. creating

picking footage

so onto creating,, first things first the concept had to be changed bc present:you only had light shots so that had to be removed rip, here you can see a failed attempt at me trying to include it. this was before i started making proof on concepts for gifsets which later on saved me so much time... but not this time

once i accepted defeat i had to reshuffle the shots and add some new ones but it was all good i was not losing braincells at all. so onto the real gifs, gonna show you the red one bc that’s my fave of the three.

making the base

btw i’m always working with timelines and smart objects bc it feels way easier than frames. so here we started with this jaebeom, and since the background and his hair it’s pretty dark those will be the parts which will be covered with the next gif. i made it black and white and also adjusted the levels a bit to make it a bit softer (lowered the whites and lightened the blacks)

for aesthetic purposes i always go for one close shot and one wider shot, then literally all i did was add the other gif on top, and set it to lighten. okay this is it that’s the whole process bye. oh we need the rest too? okay okay. so btw for a while i was considering making both of them coloured but then bw looked better when having all three gifs under each other, felt more like a ‘set’

now for this gif in particular i did not need to mask anything, shocking, but for the others i had to either blend the edges or make the bottom layer darker at some places to let the top layer show up a bit more e.g. for the second gif i needed a tiny blending like so (it’s the layer 1 copy 3 lmao)

making the overlay bits

then we are basically done with the main part of the gifs, obviously i applied colouring to each inside the smart object. but i always like to add something extra on top which are usually two things: 1.) full overlay gif something blurred (literally any kind of footage.. i used leaves, water, space renders etc. so far), or a light leak, oooor a bokeh effect whatever and just keep it subtle. and 2.) some smaller moving bits which are usually sparkles, dust, stars, galaxy stuff etc. u get the idea. for the above gif this happens to be Layer 1 copy 2 rip. also in this case this overlay is actually this jaebeom footage blurred and with some colouring added on top of it to have this redish brassy tone (not me forgetting about this completely lmao) obviously it’s zoomed in and i’m using the top left part of the video blurred. look at me explaining my chosen gif with another gifs gahd i’m bad at this. anyways it just goes to show i use practially anything i can think of and just blur it.

for the full overlay footage i either go black and white and set it to overlay or soft light, whatever works best, or go coloured and set it to lighten again.... whatever blending mode works best. for this specific 2nd gif i went with lighten. for the smaller moving bits same tbh i just adjust the levels/curves to only show the bits i need when it’s set to lighten, i.e. i make its background more black so it won’t make the gif hazy.

adding the text

so anyways i add those on top so it’s not boring anymore,, practically just concealing the fact that all i‘ve really done was adding a gif on top of another and set it to lighten rip. oh yeah we have the text layers, nothing fancy here: for the script i used Challenge and the serif is FogtwoNo5. For the script i sampled some red from the background and just set it to overlay, and for the serif i just went with full caps adding some extra kerning bc one: for full caps you always need that, not this much lol, and two: it just looks better okay.

last touches

then i added a levels adjustment layer because i felt the gifs were a bit brighter than i wanted, so we ended up with this

saviiiiiing

oh my gahd we are almost theeeere, for saving gifs here are my settings, i did not have to tell photoshop which colours to use luckily so it was an easy process.

03. posting

eeehmmm posting... yeah nothing exciting? i just save it in my drafts check it on mobile, and if something is really messed up i’ll change some colouring and saving settings, but this was a fairly ‘easy’ gif for tumblr to compress decently so none of that.

if you read this far bruh.... i don’t think i’ve made sense anyways thank yooouuu 💕

and the five amazing CCs i’m tagging are

🎬 dear wifey, rosie @se-jun for these victon posters which i definitely did not make her choose and we ended up with the same i would’ve chosen 🌈 vivi @yeekies for making a rainbow from the mostly yellow blob that is the fireworks mv 💙 yv @woodzm for this beauty where the blues are colourmatched so well it makes me mad 🌸 lotta @halahala for this miracle of a gifset which made me not despise pink 🌈 bridget @lilacwoo for this 12/10 rainbow right here because apparently i like rainbows. shocking.

feel free to ignore and all them usual stuff

#tag game #showyourprocess #gif tutorial #i guess #ps*#hahahahah also let's all ignore the fact i told csenge i'd show her how i make these things and then i completely forgot about it #sooorryyyy im so dumb

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exit-path · 4 years

Text

Alright! Let’s get this done!

It’s less than 40 days until the one-year anniversary of my “Hi! I made something cool!” pinned post!

I’ve wanted do something like that again. I want to make another isometric render of something in Minecraft, all in a 2D image editing software, by hand.

But there’s a problem. I don’t know what to make.

I have a bunch of ideas on things I could make! But I don’t know which one to choose! And I don’t want to choose randomly, because the original isometric “render” actually took me one whole week to make. That’s seven consecutive days.

So that’s where you come in.

It’s hard and high-stakes to make one of these, so I don’t wanna mess up! I wanna know for sure what I should make.

If you could please, look through the list and see me which one(s) you’d like me to make. Then, tell me what your thoughts are in a reply or reblog. I’ll read through them, and in about 36 hours after I post this I’ll make my final decision on what I’ll render!

(You don’t need to interact with this post if you don’t want to. You can scroll past it if that’s the case.)

Remember, in the end, the result should be something of this caliber. This is what I made back then. And this is the level of quality I’m striving for again.

(I won’t post my render on the one-year anniversary, mind you. I’ll post it the day that I finish it, whenever that may be. I just mentioned the one-year anniversary so we’re all on the same page here.)

1) The other Skyblock islands

This is pretty self-explanatory. I rendered the main Skyblock island, right? Well why don’t I just render the other two and call it a day? I’m finishing the job. This is like the obligatory sequel for a hit movie.

One’s a sand island you reach once you bridge over from the main island in normal Skyblock. The other’s made of glowstone and you reach it when you build a nether portal and travel through the nether to link up with the portal on the other side.

Now, from a “making the render” standpoint, the problem with this is that it probably won’t be fun to make as the first one. Like, the other original Skyblock island at least had interesting shapes to work with, it had depth, and it posed a fun challenge. These other islands are just 3x3x3 cubes made of the same block.

Plus, people might not care to see the new render. People always like the sequel less than the original movie. And I’m thinking that might be true for something as esoteric as a post about a Minecraft render made with 2D image editing software.

2) My Survival House

You might be confused seeing this on the list. Like, everyone’s seen or played Skyblock so that makes sense, but this? This is my singleplayer survival house. Very few have seen it; nobody but me has ever been to it. Let me explain.

I played on this world from September to October 2020. In that time, I built a starter base, a mine, and a cow barn/wheat farm. This is the starter base. It doesn’t look like much, but that’s only because we’re on the surface. Let’s go into spectator made and bring the camera under.

Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Yes, the majority of my “starter base” is underground! (The image is slightly edited to highlight where it is.) If I were to render it, I would show the bit that’s at the top, connected to everything underground.

There’s a lot in this base! Immediately down the ladder from the house at the surface, there’s a room full of chests and that contains a jukebox where I can play music discs.

Then on the floor below that there’s my furnace room, my portal room, my map room, and my spruce tree farm. Down another floor you can find a room where I intended to grow cactus for a brief period of time.

I’ve spent a lot of time in this base. However, I’ve never seen it in full, in isometric view. And I sure would like to. Because perspective in 3D constantly hides different parts of my base when I view it from different angles. Isometry is an idealized reality.

If I were to render this, you’re agreeing that I’m doing this for myself. I love this world, and I’ve spent many days in the past excited to come back to it. This is a bit of sentimentality, a tribute to myself.

3) My 1.0.0 Survival Base

Now, you might be starting to recognize a pattern here. (Image slightly edited to highlight where the survival base is.) And no, it’s not that I really want to isometrically render my survival worlds for some reason.

Yes, I apparently like building my survival bases underground, I know, shut up >:P

I played on this world from March to September 2019: the longest I played on a survival world so far. Virtually only one other person knows about this world.

The entire time I played on it, it was in Java Edition 1.0.0: the earliest and first full release of Minecraft. I accessed the version by using the dropdown menu on the Minecraft launcher.

As a result of being in 1.0.0, the entire survival experience was changed, and that posed a lot of unique challenges. For example, how do you mine out large regions of land if beacons haven’t been created yet? How do you enchant tools if anvils aren’t in the game yet?

Playing on this 1.0.0 world has acted as my greatest insight into “old Minecraft” so far.

If I were to render this base, I would only render the underground portion (which I hollowed out of a naturally-generated cave, by the way). Why would I do that, if there’s probably also a house on the surface that I could render?

Because this is what that house looks like.

Yeah, this house does look incredible! I would know, I’m the one who made it all in 1.0.0. But no chance am I rendering all that.

Anyways, I want to render this world because despite all the time I’ve played on this world, I’ve never actually even seen my base as a spectator much like I’ve shown above. (Minecraft added cheats in 1.3.1. Spectator mode didn’t exist until 1.8.)

Plus, this faces the same perspective problems I mentioned for #2. So mainly, if I were to render this isometrically, I would be helping myself by letting me view my world in a lens I was never able to before.

4) A House in the Sky

This is a bit of an inside joke on my blog.

Basically, ever since August, I’ve been playing games of UHC on Minecraft minigame servers like Hypixel and Mineplex with the sole purpose of defying the point of the game and just building a house in the sky. Like a whole-ass village house. Plop. Right there.

This is the house I would build in those games. And this is what I would like to render now.

If you know me personally, then you already know what the front of the house looks like. (I’ve shown it on my blog countless times.) So that’s why in this preview, I’ve made the front of the house see-through so you can see the interior.

This is an effect I want to emulate in my render (if I ever make one). I make multiple image edits, and in one of them, both the exterior and the interior of the house are visible.

If I render this, it’s just a pointless joke. Not much else besides that 🙂

5) Something Else?

This is where I leave an open-ended answer.

Did you think of something that’s not on this list? Do you have something in mind that you’re passionate about personally, and that you’d like me to render? Do you think a couple or all of the ideas here are good, and you want me to render those couple or all of them?

Then remember to tell me in a reply or reblog!

Keep in mind when leaving your opinion that making a single render takes a lot of time and effort. Think of it this way: the original Skyblock render took one week to make.

Rendering something with half as many blocks would take four days. Rendering something with twice as many would take two weeks. Making multiple renders would take multiple weeks. So don’t forget the human aspect in all this.

Well, that’s the end of this post!

Tagging @ice-block, @gay-slime, @mojang-official, @birch-forest, and @light-blue-glazed-terracotta because they saw my original post and I’d like to hear their opinions, given that they’re big blogs in mineblr.

@emarezi and @unyanizedcatboys, I’d like to hear you weigh in on this as well.

See you in 36 hours, I guess!

#minecraft #mineblr #peysi #long post #really long post #skyblock #minecraft skyblock #minecraft base

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mental-dilemma · 4 years

Text

A Quick Meeting Part 4?

Damian’s an exchange student in Paris taking it easy until an Akuma attacks and he gets to meet ladybug. -----------------------------------------

Ok before everyone starts pancking: I am Emu-Lumberjack I just decided to create a Sideblog for all my writing so that way those who follow me exclusively for that don’t have to deal with the chaos that is my main blog

also I’m sorry it’s taken so long to post this but just between school and work and school and just general exhaustion it’s been hard for me to write.

and as always all credit to the Au goes to @ozmav

pt.1

pt. 2

pt. 3

“I don’t suppose I could bribe you to drop the matter.” Damian said sitting down in Tim’s office. He and Ladybug were situated next to each other while Tim was on the other side of the desk.

“Nope.” He turned to Ladybug, “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself, making sure Damian didn’t disappear and all that. Anyway I’m Tim Drake, Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises and Damians older brother.”

Ladybug turned to Damian and quietly said, “So does everyone in your family constantly talk like they’re trying to impress a victorian lord?” Damian snorted. Tim, unable to hear what she just said, looked to the two agape.

“At least I have a reason.” Damian responded, this time loudly enough for his elder brother to hear. “Anyway Tim is in CEO mode right now, which is pretty rare. Usually he’s a bumbling zombie dependent on coffee to function. In fact I remember one time when Dick took the last cup he----”

“I’d suggest stopping right there or I’ll tell her about the batcow incident.” Tim interrupted.

“Did you just say batcow? Because I understand each of those words separately.” Ladybug said, and even though her mask still concealed half her face Damian could tell she was really confused.

“Don’t ask. Just don’t.” Damian said quietly.

“Anyway. I never caught your name and considering the fact that your in a mask I assume you’re a hero. Which is surprising because none of us knew Paris had heroes.” Tim cut the two of them off before more could be said.

“Yes that’s becoming a common theme I’m finding,” Marinette began. “My name is Ladybug in the mask. I have a partner, Chat Noir, but he’s currently indisposed, something about paint in his hair.” Damian stifled a laugh as Marinette continued, “We have been operating out of Paris for the last few years, early on we tried contacting the Justice league but Green Lantern told us not to prank call him.”

“Oh did he now.” Tim said, leaning his head forward.

“Yes he did. Thankfully my power allows me to reverse all damage done during a fight. Including any lives lost or monuments destroyed.”

“That sounds like a very useful power. I'm sure that the heroes of Gotham would love to work with you.” There was a twinkle in his eye that Damian knew meant Tim was concocting some scheme. He was about to jump in, but Marinette got there first.

“Yes I’m sure you would but the issue is we currently have our hands full here although from what Damian told me you guys sound much more fun to work with. At least the villains have better costumes.”

Tim noting her wording turned to Damian, “Did you tell her the family secret? You know what Alfred will do if he finds out.”

Damian smirked “I’m not an idiot Drake this was all her. She could rival you for deductive reasoning.” Marinette just sat there looking innocent.

“Well that explains why the two of you were sneaking around together, Ladybug should I assume Damian knows your identity as well?”

“Yep.”

“Well this is going to be a nightmare. But this just means I can formally invite you to Gotham at least. Ha just leave it to the Ice Prince to leak the identity on his first civilian trip abroad.” Tim leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

“Actually it was you guys who tipped me off.”

Tim suddenly opened his eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. “Come again.”

“Well it was the fact that no one had spied Robin around Batman while Damian was in France. Then the fact that you were patrolling rather than him tipped me off that Robin might be on a vacation..” Tim just face palmed.

“Of course that would happen, how did we not see it coming.” He muttered to himself. “Wait, that begs another question: how did you two meet.”

Damian blushed and before Ladybug could respond he said “not important, there was an akuma. Now do you need anything else.”

“Actually yeah. Ladybug you mentioned the video you sent to Green Lantern, well Batman found it and wanted us to investigate. He didn’t know Green Lantern had seen it or otherwise he’d be on his way back to Ooa healing from a scolding from Alfred. Dick and Jason wanted to come but Bruce needed someone he could send discreetly and who better than the Co-CEO of Wayne industries who could just be checking up on the Paris branch.” Ladybug was impressed by the scheming having Dick Greyson or Jason Todd come in would stir up villain or media activity but Tim the third son wouldn’t.

“Well if you want we can meet up with my partner later and you can formulate a list of questions. Plus it seems you and Damian have some catching up to do.”

“There was a reason I came to Paris Ladybug. Being forced to talk to Tim was not one of them.” Damian made to leave only for a yoyo to catch his leg. Ladybug smirked at him. “Maybe a five minute chat couldn’t hurt anyone. Family reunion and all that.”

“Great then as long as everyones in agreement I can set up a time with chat later this evening for all of us to talk things through and get a strategy in place.”

“Are you sure about this having the league involved is going to cause a lot of chaos and even more dangerous villains could target Paris.”

“Tim I have dealt with so much crap the last couple of years that at this point I will take Darkseid over Lila…… Oh crap. We forgot about Lila.” Marinette looked at Damian who was coming to the same realization she was. He called out Lila in the bakery, and outed himself as a Wayne.

“Do I want to know?” Tim said rubbing his temples. He did not miss highschool.

“Lets just say school tomorrow’s going to be interesting, and I think we’re going to have to put the meeting on hold till after it. Ladybug and I are going to need to deal with school tomorrow, and caffeine isn’t gonna cut it.” Damian said.

“Then again if we aren’t lucid tomorrow might not be so bad….” Marinette began

“Do not even finish that, you even more than me need sleep. Between fashion, school and heroing you function off an hour.”

“You.. have a point. I’ll brief Chat on the situation on my way home. In the meantime I’ll leave you too to the brotherly bonding I’m sure you need.” she pulled her yoyo from her pocket, “See you tomorrow Damian, and whatever plan you hatch up make sure nit doesn’t include killing anyone.”

“Goodnight Ma--- Ladybug. And no promises.” The boy caught himself before revealing Ladybug's identity. She gave him the look of ‘don’t fuck up my secret identity bird boy’ before jumping out the window to run from rooftop to rooftop.

“So. how long have you had a crush on her.” Tim pulled Damians attention, and Damian was sudden;y very glad he had said nothing about not killing his brother.

--------------------------------------

“Do you think they’ll actually help this time?” Chat’s voice rang over the phone, Marinette had stopped behind one of the chimneys to talk to him in private.

“I don’t know, at least now they are actually considering it rather than just brushing us off as children.” Marinette was tired but they needed to have this chat now, there wouldn’t be any chance to in class tomorrow.

“Yeah, just don’t get your hopes up. They left us to fend for ourselves for 3 years and are only doing this now because of Damian if you didn’t know him then none of this would’ve happened.

“Ok but why does that matter that it’s Damian? They could’ve been doing it because of Jon too.”

“Oh please, you're more dense than our class sometimes. Jon would’ve noted it then forgotten to tell someone, but Damian told Batman right away. Why do you think he did that?”

“Chat I am too tired for this.” Marinette could feel Adrien facepalming through the phone.

“Oh I am not spelling this out for you, this time you get to figure it out yourself.”

“Fine. but next time you need help on your calc homework don’t come running to me.” Marinette hung up on him and made her way home. The parisian streets were nice and quiet for her, no akuma meant maybe another hour of sleep.

Once she was out of the suit she let Tikki rest and got right to work on the new piece she was making for Jagged, he wanted to somehow have the score of his newest piece sewn onto the pants for his next concert, and she had to brainstorm.

Twenty minutes went by.

Then an hour.

Then two.

Finally she put up her pencil and put on her pajamas, as she was falling asleep Adriens words kept replaying in her head, and the meaning slammed into her like a truck. Pulling out her phone she sent one message.

Oh fuck off

tag list: @clumsy-owl-4178 @pawsitivelymiraculous @yuulxd @smolplantmum @inarachi02 @notmycupoftea26 @laurcad123 @unknownvsworld @jeminiikrystal @megawhitleycalderonpaganus

#The dilemma writes #Maribat #damian wayne x marinette dupain cheng #Damianette #Damientte #Chat noir #Kwamii #fics #fanfic #myfic #damian x marinette #platonic ladynoir #platonic adrienette

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samanthadalton · 4 years

Text

Star crossed lovers (au) part 2

pairings: poppy x mc (bea)

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

(i apologise for any spelling/grammatical mistakes, i’ll fix them later)

taglist: @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @cloud9in @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @rxssians (i’m pretty sure this is my taglist, if you wanna be tagged in future posts just reply or message me 😊)

word count: 6.2k

read part 1 here:

Part 2: First day jitters

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Bea groans and puts her alarm on snooze momentarily silencing the deafening noise. After finding difficulty in falling asleep on time, the brunette found herself feeling zombified this morning. With great difficulty she forces herself to sit up and reaches over to her dresser to check her phone.

A snapchat from Poppy,

a miss call from AJ

And 5 unread texts from Zoey

She opens the snapchat from Poppy who had sent a selfie of her with an adorable bedhead, lips slightly puckered, captioning the picture, ‘good morning babe 💋I love you’. Bea decided to send a selfie back, hands raised in a peace sign captioning her post, ‘I love you too, see you at school ❤️’. She decides to give AJ a quick text since he called her at 4:34am and Bea is worried he might’ve gotten into some trouble overnight.

AJ Baxter, one of the few friends Bea has at Belvoire. He’s younger, a sophomore now, but has a heart of gold. His family is more middle class but his father is good friends with the superintendent which means his place in Belvoire is secured, he could practically get away with anything without risk of suspension. He hangs out with Bea and her friends who live in the south, but recently he’s gotten caught up in a bad crowd, a gang called ‘Southside nation’ who causes nothing but trouble. Bea’s taken it upon herself to look out for him and make sure he doesn’t do anything illegal because he’s a good kid, just a little lost.

She then decided to check her texts from Zoey who just wants to wish her luck at her fancy school and to let her know if any preppy rich kid tries to bully her to call Zoey who would beat their ass. Zoey was one of Bea’s best friends, they had met when Bea moved into her neighbourhood after leaving the northside of Greensburg, and she practically taught Bea how to survive in the south. She often discloses her opinion about Bea and Poppy’s relationship, warning Bea that it will only end up with her getting her heart broken. Bea tends to ignore Zoey’s criticisms, and anyone else’s really, no one could understand their relationship, Bea and Poppy were soulmates, or at least that’s how they saw each other. Bea usually retorts to Zoey’s criticisms arguing that no matter what life threw at them she and Poppy were destined to be together and no one could ever ruin that.

After a few more moments of scrolling through her phone, she forces herself to get up and moves over to the other side of the room to wake up her little sister.

“Hey sleepy head, you gotta get up” Bea gently shakes the younger girl who in response groans loudly and pulls the covers over her head.

“Go awayyyyy” her voice rasps, as she’s evidently still in sleepy mode.

Bea grins and decides to jump on her sister’s bed and shake her awake, earning a hard shove from her Aria who sits up on her bed rubbing her red eyes, “Bea whatthehell, what’s wrong with you”, for a 11 year old she sure as hell had a lot of attitude, a trait she definitely acquired from her mother.

“Sorry kiddo” she leaps off the bed and turns back to look at her sister, “I want you ready for school in 40 minutes, that means you’ve brushed your teeth, brushed your hair, wearing your school clothes and eaten breakfast, all in that order okay?”

Aria just drags her hands down her face and moans, “okayyyy, relax Bea, let me at least fully wake up”.

Bea smiles and stalks towards the bathroom and turns on the tap blasting the cold water. She cups her hand and splashes the water all over her face, gasping as if she had been holding her breath for hours. Well, that definitely woke her up.

After brushing her teeth and going through the steps of her basic skincare routine Poppy practically forced upon her, she advances to the living room and sees that her mother is still in the same place she left her last night. She takes a minute to analyse her mother’s facial features, a few grey hairs peaks out of her hair, threatening to showcase her ageing, her slightly creased forehead, and the small wrinkles which edged on the corners of her eyes. Her nose was similar to Aria’s, a petite buttoned up nose, except she had a silver nose ring. Her lips were thin and wide, red lipstick smeared on her chin a little and all Bea could do was frown. Her mother used to be so beautiful, she remembers the time she stumbled across a photo album in which Bea’s mother had documented almost everything in her life, she used to be so full of life, so happy but now, she was different. She hated her life, ever since her husband left her she resorted to alcohol and drugs, the only way she knew how to numb the pain. It killed Bea to see her mother destroy herself piece by piece, she often questioned to herself why she or Aria were never enough for her to want to live. But Bea would never say anything out loud, not wanting to upset her mother or sister or the more likely answer, she was afraid of the truth.

Bea shakes herself out of her thoughts and moves towards the kitchen which is connected to the living room. She decides to make scrambled eggs for breakfast as she definitely needs the protein and it was pretty easy to cook. A few minutes later, Aria emerges from her bedroom, dressed in her school clothes, Bea begins to assess the girls outfit from head to toe, disproving the slightly cropped t-shirt Aria decided to wear and forcing her to change into something more appropriate for school.

“No, turn around and change your top now,” her tone commanding with a hint of discontent.

“It’s just a t-shirt, why are you making a big deal out of it, god” she retorted as she walks back to the room and moments later she walks into the room wearing an oversized hoodie. “There, happy?”

“I’m practically jumping for joy, A, now hurry up and eat, the bus will be here soon” Bea moves towards the stools while Aria pours herself a bowl of cereal. Behind them they hear a series of moans and groans, guess their mother is finally awake.

“Could you girls make any more noise, goddamn” she clutches her head in agony and begins rubbing the temples of her forehead with her fingertips.

“We’re eating breakfast, maybe if you managed to make it to your bedroom we wouldn’t have woken you up,” Bea quips, turning back to focus on eating her breakfast while her mother just glares at the back of her head and rolls her eyes.

“I’m your mother, don’t be a bitch with me especially when I’ve just woken up” she reaches over to the table and takes a huge swig of the vodka on the table while Bea silently berates herself for forgetting to throw the drink away. “Anyways where were you yesterday, you didn’t leave any money for dinner so I had to pay for a pizza”

“I saw” Bea says unaffected, she’s used to her mom’s bitchiness and attitude.

“Don’t tell me you were with richie rich’, she downs the rest of the drink and slams the empty bottle on the table.

That agitates Bea and grabs her attention, she shifts in her seat to glower at her mother, “Don’t call her that”

“Looks like I hit a sore spot” her mother waves her hands dismissing Bea’s anger, “next time be here for dinner or leave some money because I don’t have enough money to be worrying about feeding that one”, she nods her head towards Aria.

Bea clenches her fist and takes a deep breath, ‘Aria go get your school bag”, Aria’s about to respond when Bea just glares at her expecting her to follow through, Aria reluctantly gets up from her seat leaving her almost empty bowl of cereal on the counter. Bea quickly gets up and stomps towards Isabella, her voice is low and sharp, “Do you have to speak about your daughter like that when she’s around? I don’t give a shit about a $13 pizza, she’s your kid, she comes first no matter how much you despise her, she’s not to blame for your own mistakes”. Without waiting for a response she goes towards the bedroom and finds Aria lurking in the hallway looking dejected.

“She hates me doesn’t she?”

Bea sighs, the relationship between her mother and Aria has always been so strained, her mother viewing Aria more as a burden and a physical embodiment of her biggest mistake in life. One of Bea’s biggest worries was what would happen once she moved to New York for college, she’s the only thing that is keeping the peace in the house but once she leaves she’s apprehensive about how her sister would fare around their mother.

“She could never hate you, you’re her daughter, mom’s just….” she struggles to find the words, “mom’s just sad, she just doesn’t know how to properly control her emotions, but don’t worry you always have me here”, she feels guilty as she says the words because her mind drifts to college and New York but she musters a smile and hugs her sister, “now come on I’ll walk you to the bus stop just let me grab my bag”.

After grabbing her bag, she quickly goes to the kitchen to put the dirty dishes in the sink, making a mental note of remembering to wash them when she gets home from work, since she knew her mother nor Aria would. She looks over to the living room to find the sofa empty and the door of her mother’s room, which was connected to the living room, slightly ajar, guess she’s gone back to doing nothing productive..again.

After walking her sister to the bus stop, Bea insists on waiting with her to make sure she gets to school on time because she cannot afford having the principal call home about Aria being late, not if she wanted to piss her mom off more. Bea leaves Aria as soon as the bus arrives, running back home to get her motorbike after looking at the clock on her phone and realising school begins in 30 minutes, “crap”. As soon as she makes it to her bike, she practically throws on her helmet and drives as rapidly as she can. The motorbike was a present from Poppy who had bought it from one of Bea’s co-workers at the diner at the beginning of the summer. Bea, at first, was apprehensive about the gift, she usually disdained Poppy for spending a lot of money on her but once she got on her new bike it was her second favourite thing in the world, the first being Poppy of course. Poppy secretly loved riding on her bike because it gave her the excuse to feel Bea’s abs (not that she needed one) but also because of the ephemeral ecstasy she would feel at every ride. It was a little taste of the freedom she so badly craved.

The brunette is almost sweating at every red light because it means that she has to drive even faster and she did not want to be late on the first day back. Bea’s plan for senior year is to draw the least amount of attention to herself as she can, and coming late to homeroom is just basically like putting a huge kick me sign on her back.

As soon as she parks her bike in the school’s parking lot she looks down at her phone, ‘7 minutes to spare that must be some new record’ she thinks to herself. She looks around at Belvoire, the school’s pristine building hasn’t gotten any less intimidating over the summer. She hears a bunch of shrill voices booming behind her and one of them in particular was almost like a banshee, the high pitched voice ringing in her ears which could only mean one person, Chloe St James.

Chloe was one of Poppy’s best friends and one of Bea’s worst enemies. She was captain of the volleyball team which meant that she practically owned Bea on the court during practice but she was also incredibly irritating and very stupid. Once in class, her maths teacher asked Chloe what pi is, and she replied with “I don’t eat foods with a high fat content”. Everyone laughed at her until she cut them all off with a silent but deadly look. No one really messes with Chloe because she is secretly a very aggressive person which is exemplified by her plays on the volleyball court, Bea hated to admit it but Chloe was their best player. However, Chloe is the epitome of a classic dumb blonde rich girl who has to depend on her money and looks to get her somewhere in life, she practically has half of the football team worshipping her at her feet. Bea could never really understand why but Chloe has had it out for her since she’s come to Belvoire, maybe it was a classist thing but in the last year especially, Chloe’s antics became an everyday chore for Bea, who was getting sick of the constant harassment. It’s almost as if she swore to make Bea’s life a living hell.

“Omg look who it is”,Bea rolls her eyes so hard they could get stuck in the back of her head, she turns to face the dumb blonde, “hey strip tease, how was your summer in the slums?”

Bea balls her hands into a tight fist, ‘god this bitch is annoying’ she thought. “Is it true you whored yourself out so you could get that bike of yours?... Like mother like daughter I guess?” She giggles a little, triggering the girls around her, whose names Bea could never remember, to start laughing along with her.

“Do you know what Chloe?” Bea takes a step forward a scowl etching on her face, “You’re all talk, I guarantee I’ll be able to take you”, Bea lowers her voice so only the blonde can hear what she’s saying, “You know I grew up in the South which means I was taught how to fight, so unless you want me to mess up that pretty face of yours back off.” Bea thought she was threatening enough for the dumb blonde to recede but her threats only aggravated Chloe more.

“Listen up here you little tramp,” Chloe’s eyes were shooting daggers at Bea, even though she felt a tiny bit daunted by Chloe’s cold demeanor, Bea stood her ground when suddenly she could see Poppy in her peripheral vision sauntering up to the group and decided not to engage with Chloe since she promised Poppy she would be good. Before Chloe could obliterate Bea using her words, Bea holds up her middle finger at the blonde and counters, “go fuck yourself Chloe”.

Chloe’s eyes flash with anger and just as she’s about to retort Poppy lays a hand on her shoulder and greets the girl with a squeal and Chloe delivers a bone crushing hug. Poppy doesn’t bother to spare a glance at Bea which means they’re back in the real world.

After having the entire summer to themselves, riding around Greensburg, going to parties in the south, stealing moments in each other's rooms and going on secret weekend long trips to New York, being two teenagers completely in love, it was now a closed chapter. Now, the girls were in two different worlds, Bea took a quick second to appreciate Poppy’s outfit, she wore the cute pink bomber jacket Bea loved so much and her legs looked so long in her jeans, Poppy wore that specific outfit to catch Bea’s attention, but it was doing a lot more than that. Bea just wanted to reach out and kiss her so bad, the gloss on Poppy’s lips were shining so bright, almost as if she wanted to tease Bea, knowing she could only stare and not touch.

“Come on Chlo, we’re gonna be late,” she drags the blonde away and as she breezes past Bea she spares a quick glance, their eyes locked for a brief moment, Poppy’s gaze softens for a second, her big brown eyes bore into Bea’s in the most tender way. If only the students at Belvoire, were less self absorbent and paid attention to the girls instead of themselves, they would’ve already felt the sexual tension just through the intense stares. After all the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Bea takes a second to breathe, leaning on her bike, she knew today was going to be a long day. After hearing the warning bells she grabs her bag and practically runs the last 50 feet to homeroom and is grateful to see an empty seat at the back of the classroom. She slips in as their homeroom teacher, Mr Jennings quietens the class for the morning announcements, and as all the students direct their attention to the tv in the corner of the room, Poppy’s angelic face brightens up the screen with her adorable smile while she stacks the papers in her hands and turns to look at her co-anchor Carter Jackson.

Carter Jackson, he’s devilishly handsome and the school’s golden boy. Captain of the football team, on track to being the school’s valedictorian, prevailing against the stereotypes of jocks all being dimwits, his resume is impeccable, any college would be lucky to have him. Bea always felt a pang of jealousy whenever she saw Carter within the same breathing space as Poppy since it was obvious he had the biggest crush on her. The whole school is already expecting for them to date since traditionally in movies and books the football captain and head cheerleader always get together. There were already existing rumours that they were secretly dating or they’ve had sex and many others which made Bea envious. Bea was never the jealous type but subconsciously the thoughts of her not being good enough for Poppy would regularly infiltrate her mind. Poppy usually had to subside Bea’s fears whenever she felt like Bea was worried about Carter, promising her that she would never actually be into him but Carter is a gentleman and is practically harmless.

‘Look at this stupid goofy smile and his stupid awesome hair’ Bea clenched her fists so hard her nails were digging into her palms which are definitely going to leave some marks. The announcements went on about the new school year and something about the sports teams and school spirit but Bea’s blood begins to boil when Carter makes a dumb joke earning playful slap on his arm from Poppy. She knows she can trust Poppy around him, it’s just Carter she couldn’t trust. He would always openly flirt with Poppy who would just give a little laugh or change the subject or sometimes indulge in his flirtations, just enough to throw him and the rest of her friends off from the truth.

After the morning announcements Mr Jennings begins talking about the importance of senior year and how the students would have to start thinking about college and their futures. Bea has her whole future planned out with Poppy, get into Columbia, live off campus with her and eventually Poppy would tell her father about them and he will have no other choice but to accept them and if not then Poppy could take out some loans and eventually use the Min Sinclair name to build herself a brand. Bea wants to go into law, first into corporate, so her and Poppy can work together, so when Poppy takes over her father’s duties as the official CEO of the Min Sinclair industries, Bea would work the legal angle until she’s made a name for herself. If Poppy’s father wouldn’t pass the companies down to Poppy then she’ll go straight to being a general practice lawyer. Then she’ll open her own law firm to help those in need, money won’t be an issue for clients as she just wants to help people who are suffering from legal trouble but have no sufficient funds, because if we are being honest, the public defence system in America is a joke.

Once the bell went off Bea checked her timetable to see AP science class first thing in the morning. ‘Kill me now’, she heeded she loved science but on a monday morning? It was a different kind of torture. She walks into the class to see all the students glaring at the projected screen and sees that a seating plan has been put into place for them. Miss Acker, is one of the strictest teachers at Belvoire, she’s a straight to the point no BS kind of teacher who would never let students walk all over her so the students in the AP class knew better than to challenge the seating plan. Bea looked for her name to see her being placed at the back corner of the class and her seating buddy is, no way… It’s Poppy. Bea felt a sliver of enlightenment fill her chest, an entire year of sitting next to Poppy and no one would say anything because they had no choice but to be next to each other.

As Bea makes her way to the back she sees Poppy stride into the class, she gives Bea a quick wink, so quick that you would’ve missed it within a blink of an eye as she promptly took a seat in a random seat near the front of the class, her focus is on taking out her books from her bags until a stern tone catches her attention.

“Miss Min Sinclair, if you bothered to look at the screen you would see there’s a seating plan, you’re supposed to sit with Miss Hughes at the back”, Miss Acker raises an eyebrow waiting for Poppy to oblige.

“I-”, Poppy’s face flushes red, either from the embarrassment of being called out or the thought of sitting next to Bea all year, it wasn’t clear. She picks up her notebook and bag and as she’s walking to the back of the class a hand reaches out to touch her elbow.

“Good luck sitting next to the freak all year” Carter’s voice smooth and his tone jesting at Poppy.

“Uh, thanks,” Poppy lets out an awkward laugh and sits at the back daring not to look at Bea as the lesson begins.

“So, looks like we’re science buddies,” Bea leans over and whispers as Miss Ackers goes over the rules of the lab.

“Not here Bea, please,” Poppy almost pleads as her attention is fixated at the front of the classroom.

Bea huffs a little, “well we do have to work together Pops, you can’t exactly avoid me since we go to the same school and everything”.

Poppy doesn’t answer Bea, as the class continues. As Miss Acker addresses the class, Poppy’s attention shifts to the notebook in front of her, doodling across the blank page. She draws a little bumblebee and a heart around it and nudges Bea slightly with her elbow, directing her focus to her drawing. A small smile graces Bea’s face as she runs a finger around the heart and the bee on Poppy’s notebook.

Bees were part of an inside joke between the two girls, Poppy used to call Bea her ‘little bumblebee’ when they were 14 and although Bea pretended to hate the nickname she found it a little sweet and gave Poppy the nickname ‘Popsicle’.

The lesson carries on in full silence between the girls as they begin to concentrate at the lesson at hand, and when the lesson ended Poppy quickly packs up her things, grabs her bag and leaves the class with Carter and a few other girls in tow. Bea sighs and places her hands in her jacket pocket suddenly hearing the rustling of a piece of paper. She brings it out and sees a little folded note, and when she unfolds it, she sees a cartoon drawing of two girls kissing and the words ‘I love you’ written underneath it. She has no idea when Poppy even put the note in her pocket but she’s grateful she did. It was the little things like that that made Bea smile, and reminds her why she loves Poppy so much. To the rest of the school, it seems like the girls don’t even care about each other but Poppy’s a secret romantic at heart and usually leaves little tidbits around Bea as a reminder of her love.

She pockets the note and goes to her next class with a little more pep in her steps. Lunchtime soon rolls over and Bea sits on one of the tables alone enjoying her sandwich. A few tables over, Poppy and her friends are laughing and sharing stories about their summer. One of the girls who’s sitting next to Poppy, catches Bea staring their way and gives a little wave.

“Veronica who are you waving at?” Chloe’s voice blares and she turns her head looking around the lunch hall to see who’s gotten her attention now.

Veronica Lombardi, Poppy’s other best friend and one of the very few people who actually treats Bea like a decent human being. She is one of the prettiest girls in school, excluding Poppy, and last year she made the decision to dye her hair a really cool greyish ombre which makes her look ever hotter. She’s also on the cheer team, and is also a vlogger and has over 30k subscribers on her growing youtube channel. Veronica’s family moved to Greensburg when she was 12, and she became quick friends with Poppy after being introduced at a work dinner since Veronica’s dad is one of the COOs for one of Poppy dad’s companies. Veronica also grew up with a lot of money and privilege but it never once deterred her from making friends from all sorts of places. She’s also the only one of Poppy’s friends who knows the truth about her and Bea’s relationship after accidentally walking into one of their make out sessions in the locker room last year during cheer and volleyball practice. She was super understanding and completely supportive of the relationship and often joins the girls when they would go to parties in the southside, arguing that they were tons more fun than the regular highschool parties her peers hosted. She loves to tease Poppy about Bea and insinuate that Poppy may or may not be in a secret relationship which would make their friendship group ask Poppy all kinds of questions about her ‘secret boyfriend’.

“I’m just waving at Bea” that earns a hard eye roll from Chloe who just shifts her focus on her salad. “Is it me or has she gotten hotter over the summer?” she nudges Poppy with her elbow giving her a playful smile. Poppy’s jaw tightens as she stealthily kicks Veronica’s shin under the table.

The rest of the people on the table have disgusted looks on their faces at the mention of Bea until Ford, one of the boys on the football team and a perfect example of classic dumb jock says, “I heard she got chylamidia or something because her mom pimps her out to get money or drugs”.

Poppy takes a stab at her salad and gulps uneasily, “Can we talk about something less disgusting you’re making me lose my appetite.”

Another girl, Tasha, who surprise surprise is also a cheerleader chimes in, “Like you ever have an appetite Poppy” the table bursts in laughter while Chloe sits in silence lost in thought.

“What the hell are you plotting Chlo? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you think so much” Veronica laughs.

A devilish smile appears on Chloe’s face, “I have a little surprise for that little tramp at the end of lunch, I’m just thinking about how hilarious it’s going to be”, the rest of the table reciprocate a similar smile on their faces except for Poppy and Veronica who just lock eyes confused at Chloe’s revelation.

Poppy clears her throat, “so, uh, what are you planning?” Her tone is steady attempting to keep it as monotone as she can so no one suspects she cares.

“Lets just say she’s gonna get the stripper treatment real soon” and with that the conversation swiftly changes.

All the while an unsuspecting Bea sits at her table, after acknowledging Veronica’s wave with a swift nod of her head, Bea silently eats her lunch until she’s interrupted by two scrawny hands clamping onto her shoulders.

“Dammit AJ you’re gonna give me a heart attack”, Bea sputters while her mouth is full of food. The young boy breaks into a wide grin and sits opposite Bea and swipes the cookie off Bea’s tray, “Hey no!” Bea grabs the cookie before he can shove it into his mouth, “not my cookie, I need my sugar”.

AJ sulks a little, giving Bea a strong puppy dog look until she gives in and breaks her cookie in half giving him the larger piece. “Thanks Bea, I’m starving and all the good food has already run out, they’re just handing out apples for dessert” he sticks out his tongue making a ‘blergh’ sound and shudders.

Bea doesn’t laugh, instead she stares intensely at the sophomore with a small frown outlined on her lips’, she leans in her voice low and serious, ‘AJ I want you to tell me the truth, where were you yesterday and why did you call me so late?”

AJ gulps and places one of his hands on the back of his head and rubs it sheepishly, “I wasn’t doing anything bad I swear, it’s just that dad came home late last night and started fighting with my mom, it woke me up and I guess I just needed someone to talk to. I’m sorry i should’ve texted you back or something.”

“Yeah you should’ve, AJ I was worried sick, you can’t pull that kinda crap on me okay? If you can’t reach me at least text me or leave a voice message or something.”

The boy nods but Bea isn’t entirely convinced he’s telling the truth but she decides to let it go since AJ is usually not someone who likes to dwell on the bad stuff. The conversation moves to a lighter one as the two reminisce about the summer and the parties they went to and how they were looking forward to the party on saturday.

“I heard Razor’s getting a bunch of fireworks for the party, it’s gonna be so lit”, AJ is almost jumping out of his seat while Bea looks stunned.

“Fireworks, really? Poppy would love that, I gotta remember to invite her.”

AJ rolls his eyes slightly not that he had anything against Poppy, he adores her, he just hates the lovey dovey crap, “yes, yes she’ll love it,” he looks down at his phone and abruptly stands from his seat, and tells Bea he needs to fill up his water bottle but before Bea can even open her mouth, AJ moves out of her line of sight and sprints out of the dining hall. ‘Well he’s most definitely lying’ she thinks but she doesn’t want to press the matter in case AJ closes off on her, she trusts that he wouldn’t do anything too stupid. She begins to clean up after herself and throws her rubbish into the trash can and walks towards the courtyard. Just as she’s leaving, Chloe, Carter, Ford, Tasha and a few of the others on the table share a conspiratorial look before standing up and going after Bea.

Poppy pulls Veronica to the side, her face filled with worry, “What the hell are they planning?”

Veronica simply shrugs in response, her face looking exasperated, “I don’t know P but it’s not gonna be good”, she grabs Poppy’s elbow and pulls her towards the doors, “let’s catch up before something bad happens”.

Bea peacefully walks in the courtyard, one of her hands inside her jacket pocket fiddling with the note Poppy left for her, a small smile gracing her features. Behind her, she hears a loud cough and stops in her tracks, she automatically knew it was Chloe, she softly sighs and turns to see a group of Poppy’s friends encircling her. Her face twitches into a scorn as she uneasily looks around to see the preppy kids staring back at her, all greeting her with a smile which unsettled her.

“What the hell do you and your stupid cult want Chloe?” She tries to look unbothered but her fingers deceive her, as they fiddle with the straps of her backpack. Behind the group she sees Poppy and Veronica almost running and stopping in their tracks when they see the group surrounding Bea.

“We all want a show,” Chloe spreads out her arms smiling, god her smug face is so punchable. She walks towards Bea until she’s standing directly in front of her, “well strip tease? I got a paying audience here, why don’t you show us what you mom taught you?”

Bea shoves Chloe back, and Tasha steps forward and suddenly moves her hands so quick Bea for sure thinks she’s going to be punched. Instead she brings out a bunch of one dollar bills? ‘Oh shit’ is all Bea could think before the group began throwing one dollar bills at the brunette, drawing the attention of all the students in the courtyard. Some took out their phones to record the ordeal while some started cheering and whistling.

“Come onnnn, don’t be such a tease Bea, show us something” Tasha forces Bea back into the middle of the circle as Bea struggles to leave.

All the colour drains from Bea’s face as she takes in the faces of the laughing students all publicly humiliating her, it makes her so mad, especially at her mother, who’s at fault for the nickname ‘strip tease’. Bea looks over at Poppy who is frozen in her spot, her face falls when suddenly Veronica pushes herself into the circle and grabs Chloe by the arm, “End this now Chloe, it’s not funny,” Veronica’s eyes are filled with fury, Bea’s heart slightly drops because she secretly hoped that it was Poppy standing up for her.

“Chillax V, Bea’s used to people throwing their money at her,” she laughs and bends down to pick up some fallen one dollar bills from the floor and throws it in the air. Carter moves towards Bea and places a folder one dollar bill in the loop of her jeans and winks at her and just when Bea pulls her hand back to deliver a blow, a sharp whistle sound infiltrates the ears of all the students who begin clasping at their ears.

“What the hell is going on here!” the voice bellows over the entire courtyard.

“Principal Steinhelm, I-” Chloe struggles to speak.

Principal Steinhelm quickly assesses the situation, seeing Bea’s hands balled into fists and on the verge of tears, with one dollar bills thrown all around her while the rest of the students are surrounding her, some still holding money in their hands. She raises a hand and points at the crowd encircling all the guilty students and simply says, “All of you detention, if any of you do not show up today, there will be consequences. Get to class. Now”. All the students begin to disperse, Veronica places a hand on Bea’s arm and comfortingly rubs it for a few seconds before she walks towards Poppy who is still staring at Bea, her eyes filled with sadness, she looks away and trudges off with Veronica and the rest of her friends who are laughing cruelly in tow. Principle Steinhelm advances towards Bea, eyes filled with concern, “Miss Hughes would you like me to call your mother?”

Bea shakes her head no, her voice dissipated, scared that if she tries to speak, she’ll just burst into tears. Principle Steinhelm gives Bea an awkward pat on her shoulder before telling her to make her way to class as the bell rings. For the rest of the day, students around Bea were staring at her, sharing whispers and covertly laughing at the brunette, so much for not wanting to draw any attention today. Her phone buzzes with texts from Poppy but Bea puts her phone on silent not wanting to think about everything that just happened at school.

Once the school day is over, Bea runs over to the parking lot and speeds off to work, not waiting to give Chloe a third chance to annoy her today. Poppy sees the girl rushing to leave and feels a pang in her chest. It kills her to see her girlfriend being mistreated but she couldn’t do anything to help her. Right?

read part 3 here:

#playchoices #queen b #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc

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searchingwardrobes · 3 years

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Get To Know You

I was tagged by @optomisticgirl Thank you! I really enjoyed reading your answers to these. I love learning knew things about my mutuals.

1. Why did you choose your url?

Well, it was already my url on Ao3, and luckily, it wasn’t taken yet. The reason behind it is actually something I was talking about in a discord chat the other day. I was obsessed as a kid with stories about finding secret passages, doors, and portals to other worlds. (The Narnia books, The Secret Garden, Alice in Wonderland, stuff like that.) My grandmother, we called her MoMo because it’s the South and we call our grandparents crazy things, lived in a really old house. It was fun to explore it, especially the wardrobes (because like most old houses, hers didn’t have closets). Another time, we (me, my sister, and my cousins) decided to dig a hole to Wonderland in MoMo’s yard with sand shovels. When she caught us, we thought we were in trouble, but she just went and got her garden shovel and said, “here, this will work better.” That’s one of my favorite memories of her.

Anyways, so that’s where I got my url from. As it says on my Ao3 account, “If I keep searching wardrobes, maybe one day I’ll find Narnia.” It seemed fitting for writing fanfic about a fantasy tv show.

2. Any side blogs?

Nope

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Ummm . . . hold on a sec, let me check . . . Since 2018.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I’ve noticed people have them, and I’m probably going to sound stupid asking this but: Why do you need one? Tumblr really needs a user manual or something. I feel like you just learn stuff by accident on here.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

@teamhook kept bugging me to on Ao3, haha. I also found out that a story I wrote was nominated for a fanfic award, but I didn’t know until after voting was over because I wasn’t on tumblr. And it felt like everyone knew everyone else in the CS fandom except for me, so finally I caved and started my blog. I was a little late to the party, but oh well. It’s been fun nevertheless!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Shameless self promotion, lol. It’s the cover of my second self-published novel. It’s also really pretty (I didn’t design it, so I can say that!)

7. Why did you choose your header?

My husband bought me a journal that said “Dreamer, Writer, Storyteller,” and I loved that! So first, my header was a just a photo of the journal’s cover. Then I noticed you could make tumblr headers on Canva, so I made one. I look nothing like that girl running (I wish!), but the colors fit with my icon. She also reminds me of Chloe, the main character in my first novel, and Emma Swan, so . . . it works? Canva’s tumblr headers aren’t really sized right, however, so there’s annoying white space on either side if you’re in desktop mode. Canva needs to fix that! Otherwise, I love the way it looks.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

How the heck do you figure THAT out? I seriously looked through my stats, and I can not for the life of me see where it tells me this information. So yeah, I have no idea.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Uhh, again, how do I know this without scrolling through everything? I swear, people know how to do stuff on this site that I am clueless about still after four years. Remember what I said about needing a manual?

10. How many followers do you have?

743

11. How many people do you follow?

421

12. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I scroll through it a lot, but lately I haven’t been reblogging or posting as much. Um, maybe thirty minutes a day total?

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yep. Once someone even MADE a tumblr blog just to troll me. That was . . . interesting.

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I have erased my answer to this four times, if that tells you anything! Yeah, I don’t like those.

15. Do you like tag games?

Absolutely!

16. Do you like ask games?

Yes!! I don’t get asks often, so I eat these up!!! I also copied this from B: “And I hold strong the belief that if you reblog a post to participate, you need to send asks to the person you reblogged from. (this was Kait’s answer, but it’s mine as well! Fandom etiquette peeps)”

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I’d have to say @welllpthisishappening - or maybe I’m just her fangirl, lol. But seriously, her Blue Line series is one of the most popular CS fics out there, and for good reason,

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Well, @kmomof4 did take me out for my birthday once . . . ;)

Tagging @teamhook @welllpthisishappening @kmomof4 @snowbellewells @xhookswenchx @whimsicallyenchantedrose

#gtky #get to know you #tag game

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heauxplesslydevoted · 5 years

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Resentment Ch. 1 (Ethan x MC)

Summary: After 2 months of not seeing each other, Ethan and Naomi do not have a pleasant reunion.

A/N: So...I’ve been writing this for the past 2 weeks. Open Heart 2 is ripe with angst and untapped drama. Tbh, this is my 5th draft, and I kept deleting and writing, and deleting and re-writing this, and I had to step away multiple times, as this was probably be one of my more draining fics to write. But anyway, if you’re still reading this long winded ass note, thank you lol. And enjoy, as always!

Tags: @ao719 @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @perriewinklenerdie @doroshi-desu @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @akacalliope @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramsey @the-soot-sprite @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @dr-nancy-house @adrian-motherfucking-raines

~v~

Seeing Ethan Ramsey again nearly knocked the wind out of her. It feels like she saw a ghost. But here’s here, at Donahue’s, strolling through the garden as if this is any other night. As if he didn’t disappear off of the face of the earth for 2 months.

Naomi didn’t plan on having such a visceral reaction to seeing him, but she has little to no control over her body these days. Her heart speeds up, beating twice as fast, a cold sweat breaks out, starting at her forehead, and there’s the flip of her stomach and unmistakable taste of bile rising in her throat.

‘Do not throw up,’ she silently begs herself. ‘Do not throw up. Please, keep it together, Valentine.’

The chant doesn’t work, the nausea hitting her hard, like a wave crashing against the shore. She jumps out of her seat, ignoring the looks of confusion from her friends, and makes a beeline to the restroom, pushing past the other patrons at the bar. She barely makes it into a stall before she’s on her knees, emptying the contents of her stomach into a dirty public toilet.

Naomi isn’t sure how long she’s like this, embarrassingly clutching the toilet, but a knock at the stall door breaks her out of her trance. “It’s occupied!”

“It’s Sienna,” the voice on the other side says softly. “Can I come in?”

“Yes.”

The door swings open slowly and Sienna attempts to squeeze into the small space. It’s a tight squeeze, but she manages to make it work.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Naomi mumbles weakly. “You didn’t have to follow me.”

“Yes I did,” Sienna argues. She helps Naomi to her feet and pulls at the roll of cheap toilet paper. She bunches it up and wipes the corner of Naomi’s mouth. “You’re as pale as a ghost.”

“I feel like I’ve just seen one,” Naomi quips back. “Let’s just say I did not expect to see Dr. Ramsey here tonight.”

“You didn’t know he was coming back?” Sienna asks. “I thought you two were close.”

Naomi thought they were close too. But she got ghosted. It was jarring, going from sleeping with Ethan and openly flirting with him, to him being her boss again, to him disappearing and cutting off all communication within a span of 3 days. “I thought we were too.”

“How do you think it’ll be, working with him tomorrow?”

“I have no idea what to expect,” Naomi replies honestly. “Hopefully the rest of the team is nice.”

Sienna lifts Naomi up, helping her stand on her feet again. They exit the stall and Naomi washes her hands furiously like she’s about to perform surgery.

They walk out of the bathroom, Sienna with a protective arm around her friend’s waist. The rest of their friends are now inside, at their usual booth.

They all stare at Naomi, and she hates it. Now they’re probably going to think of her as the weirdo who threw up upon seeing her boss (an ex-lover, though not everyone is privy to that information).

“You just missed the wildest shit,” Bryce says, almost breathless. “Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Thorne nearly got into a fight!”

That was the last thing Naomi expected to hear. “What?”

“Thorne was being a real creep, and he tried to feel up some young girl. He touched her and she broke his hand!” Elijah exclaims. “He got loud and rowdy, he pushed her down, and Ethan came out of nowhere, swooping in like freaking Batman. I thought he was going to snap Thorne’s neck at one point.”

“Where is the girl?” Naomi asks.

“She ran out of here as soon as she could.”

“I hope she’s okay,” Naomi murmurs, mostly to herself.

“Are you okay?” Bryce asks. “I’ve never seen you get sick before.”

“Whatever virus is fermenting in your body, please keep it away from me,” Jackie says, not even giving Naomi the chance to respond.

“Jackie!” Sienna tsks in annoyance. “Have some compassion.”

“She’s either drunk or it’s the stomach flu,” Jackie says with a shrug. “She’ll survive a little teasing.”

“It’s okay, Sienna,” Naomi insists. She loves her friend’s protective nature, but it really isn’t necessary. “You don’t have to go into mother hen mode.”

“Fine. But I’m making you soup after work tomorrow.”

“Deal.”

Reggie announces last call, and the gang starts talking about their post-bar plans. Be it getting food, going downtown, or just going home. Naomi drowns out the conversation as her eyes settle onto Ethan. His back is turned to her and Naomi notices that he’s the only one left at the bar while Reggie is cleaning up.

“Does last call not apply to you?” Naomi asks, getting his attention.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement,” Ethan says simply.

“An arrangement.” Naomi rolls her eyes as she repeats the words. “Is that what you call a friendship?”

“I don’t have friends. But...I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

Naomi weighs her options. She can go home and put this night behind her, or she can stay out with Ethan. And actually talk to him.

She turns back to her friends. “You guys go on ahead. I want to check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.”

She doesn’t believe that excuse for one second. And if her friends don’t believe it either, they don’t say anything. Sienna just tells her to not stay out too late, before they all leave, going their separate ways.

Once they’re gone, Naomi joins Ethan at the bar. She looks at, really looks at him. He’s still the same handsome guy, just more...rugged. He’s much more tan than she remembers, it looks like he’s gained weight—muscle, not fat—and he’s sporting an entirely new look.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey,” she muses.

Ethan looks down at his green jacket, a vast departure from the sweaters and button ups he usually wears.

“This jacket’s been through a lot with me,” he explains, toying with the sleeve.

“I like it.”

She doesn’t miss the way he perks up at the compliment, almost as if he was hoping she’d say something. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Duly noted. And the beard?”

Ethan doesn’t know why he needs her stamp of approval so badly, but the validation she gives him feels nice. He likes to know that she thinks he looks good.

“It looks good on you,” Naomi answers honestly. Ethan scratches the beard, his fingers flying towards it unconsciously at her words. He nods, soaking in her praise.

“I’ve gotten used to it.”

Naomi looks around as an almost awkward silence settles between the two of them. She’s now actively aware of the fact that it’s just the two of them, alone.

“Why don’t we move this outside?” Ethan suggests, some of the tension dissipating. “It’ll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can. You want something to drink?”

Naomi’s stomach flips at the mention of alcohol. “You know what I want? A cup of ice water.”

Ethan’s eyebrow quirks up at the answer. They’re in a bar and she wants...water? He shrugs but heads behind the bar, nonetheless. Grabbing a Pilsner glass, he fills it to the top with ice and he also finds a bottle of water. He hands them off to Naomi. “For you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” They make their way outside. It’s so quiet now that everyone is gone. It feels peaceful. Ethan drops down in a chair near the fire pit and Naomi joins.

“I can see why you like it here.”

“Because nobody’s annoying me?” Ethan jokes.

“More or less,” Naomi concedes. “It’s peaceful.” Ethan nods in agreement. “So...how was it, being in the Amazon?”

“It was quite the experience. It kept me on my toes.”

“Fighting an epidemic in a different country sounds...thrilling. And scary. You’re brave for doing it.”

Ethan snorts. Naomi always manages to see the best in him, even when he doesn’t deserve it. “That wasn’t bravery.”

Naomi looks down at her lap. “You didn’t keep in touch. Two whole months without any form of communication seems extreme, don’t you think? Especially after everything that’s happened with us?”

“Everything that happened between us is exactly why I didn’t contact you.”

“192,” Naomi says.

“Huh?”

“192. That’s how many times I’ve called you in the past 2 months. I also sent 75 texts and 30 emails. You could have responded to at least one of those.”

Hearing the numbers out loud makes Naomi feel ridiculous, like a stalker. And Ethan just feels...awful. He remembers his chest going tight every time he saw her name flash across his screen. He remembers the restraint it took him to not call her back, or reach out in any way. He needed to stay away. It was for the best, for both of them.

“Naomi, if we’re going to work together on the diagnostics team, we need a fresh start. Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it with whatever...what is was that we had.”

Ethan probably would’ve been better off taking this glass of ice water and throwing it in her face. The callousness in his voice chilled her to the core. “That’s how you’d describe it? As ‘whatever’?”

Ethan sighs heavily. Of course his relationship with the younger woman meant something to him, but if he was going to be her boss, they needed boundaries. There had to be a line.

“Pouring my heart out to you on multiple occasions and vice versa, secretly saving our boss’s life, you bringing Mrs. Martinez’s son to my ethics hearing, the sex, it all just culminates to a...whatever. What? Is what we went through just a casual experience in the life of Ethan Ramsey?”

“Of course not, but Naomi, I can’t go down this road with you again. We need to have a reset if things are going to work.”

She doesn’t know why the word ‘reset’ makes her laugh, but it does. She laughs, hard, almost maniacally, until her sides hurt and she can barely breathe. Ethan says nothing, staring at her in confusion.

“You know what, Ethan? Fuck you.”

That catches him off guard. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me loud and clear. Fuck. You. You’re a coward. And a runner. You run at the slightest hint of something being hard, or if you have to face your own emotions and vulnerabilities. You run off, drinking yourself silly and keeping your head in the sand, and then you come waltzing back as if nothing happened, but guess what? Life still happens. There is no reset, no do-overs, no pauses. Time still moves forward.”

Tears prick the corners of her eyes and she wills herself to not cry in front of him. He doesn’t deserve any more of her vulnerability. She doesn’t know why it hurts so much, but it does. The idea of him moving through life as if what they shared was minuscule and insignificant burns. It causes a sharp ache in her chest she didn’t realize she had the capacity to feel.

“While you were in South America, ignoring the almost 400 pieces of correspondence I sent, I was still here, still dealing with shit, still caring about you, worrying about you and your safety every fucking day. I don’t have the luxury of turning my feelings on and off whenever I see fit, and I don’t get to delude myself into thinking I can turn back time.”

How many times are they going to play this game before she realizes she’s always going to be the loser? She and Ethan get close, he rejects her but leaves just enough space and opportunity to keep her hanging on.

Naomi wraps her arms around her midsection and slightly curls into herself. Not even her own embrace is soothing at this point. The rejection stings, and she feels...stupid. Why does she keep holding out hope for Ethan, hoping he’ll want her the same way she wants him? Why does she keep coming back, waiting diligently like a little puppy, nipping at his ankles for the slightest bit of attention? Maybe she’s just a glutton for pain.

“If you want to hit the reset button, you can do it by yourself. I’m not playing that game with you.” Naomi abruptly stands up, clutching onto the back of her chair for stability. “Goodnight.”

Panic settles in his chest. He doesn’t want things with her to end like this, with her hating him. He wants her to stay. He wants to take back everything he just said. “Naomi, I–”

“Save it!” Whatever he’s about to say, whatever line it is that’ll feed her just enough false hope to keep hanging on, she doesn’t want to hear it.

After gathering her belongings, she turns on her heel, looking for the exit. Her entire body is rigid, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment, and she feels like she’s going to throw up again, which is something she truly does not have time for.

She’s fully prepared to walk away from him with whatever shred of dignity she still has, but she stops herself. She turns around, facing Ethan again.

“I called you a lot while you were gone. I left countless voicemails until your mailbox was completely full. Did you listen to any of them?”

“I haven’t listened.” Ethan feels ashamed by the answer, and he refuses to meet her big doe eyes, opting to look at the ground.

Naomi doesn’t dwell on the answer. She shakes off the hurt, and powers through.

“Last Wednesday, at 5:21 am, I called. You obviously didn’t answer, and I left a message. I’ll set the scene for you because I’ll never forget the moment. I was sitting in my bathtub, crying, almost hysterically. It was the type of crying that gets Meryl Streep and Viola Davis Oscar nominations, the kind that makes you feel sick to your stomach. But I live with 3 other people, so I had to sob into a face towel until the worst of it passed. And then I called you. Logically, I knew you probably weren’t going to answer, but I figured one last Hail Mary couldn’t hurt so I did it anyway.

In the voicemail, I practically begged you to talk to me. To answer at least one of my calls. It was so...desperate. And pitiful. The old Naomi would rather get buried alive than to ever be so emotionally available and needy, but I didn’t care. In that moment, I needed you, I needed solace that I thought only you could give me, but I know now that it won’t happen. You’re way too emotionally stunted and unavailable.”

She inhales, something shaky and full of vulnerability, and every bone in her body is screaming out to just shut the fuck up and turn away.

“But you didn’t answer, you didn’t acknowledge it, and I was just absolutely gutted,” Naomi continues. “Because had you answered that call, or called me back some time that day, I would’ve told you that I’m pregnant.”

With that confession, Naomi visibly deflates. It feels like a crushing weight has been lifted off of her chest.

But Ethan feels the exact opposite. Unable to move, he gapes at Naomi. “You-you’re what?”

“Pregnant. 9 weeks, 5 days. It’s the size of an olive at this point, and before you ask, yes, it’s yours.”

Paternity hadn’t even crossed his mind at this point. He’s still stuck on the fact that she’s pregnant.

“So while it hurts to know what you want a reset, and to pretend we didn’t share anything, it is also literally impossible to do so,” Naomi says with a humorless chuckle. “But don’t worry, I’ve received the message loud and clear. See you at work tomorrow, Doctor. Oh, and congratulations.”

Ethan watches as she leaves, even though he calls her name, asking her to stay. His chest feels tight like someone is squeezing him from the inside, and he struggles to inhale. The revelation stifles him, and he can’t get his bearings.

Unable to do much else, Ethan falls back into his chair. Despite trying his damnedest to get things back on track, it feels as if he’s made everything so much worse.

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #open heart #open heart 2 #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc

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soopersara · 4 years

Note

I looooove Zutara so much. But I’m exhausted by how much the Zutara fandom focuses on salt and hate on Aang/Mai/Bryke/ATLA so much rather than celebrating Zutara, I can barely find 100% Zutara positivity blog spaces. Even in the Zutara Discord there’s never-ending activity in the salt tags. Like, I had no idea it was possible for a fandom to be so consistently angry, but that’s what a lot of Zutarians literally are like. 1/2

The Dramione fandom in contrast is never like this, Dramione shippers just love to celebrate without hating and dissing on canon events so much. Who cares about canon when we know what we love? Why spend so much energy thinking about something they hate? 2/2

I really don’t have any frame of reference for what other fandoms or ships are like. The ATLA fandom (and Zutara specifically) is the first fandom I ever joined, and it’s still my only fandom. I had to stare at your asks for a minute before I even knew where to begin, so bear with me.

The thing is, people enjoy things in vastly different ways. While you may not enjoy analysis and criticism of the show (which is perfectly valid!), the fact that a lot of people participate in criticism doesn’t mean that they’re always angry or dedicating all of their time to things that they hate. If we genuinely didn’t like the show, we wouldn’t be here, it’s that simple. But a lot of us (myself included, at times), find it satisfying and even fun to pick apart and articulate the things that fell short for us.

When I first watched the show, there were parts of the ending that niggled at me, and it was frustrating not being able to express what bothered me about it. It wasn’t until I spent time digging around some salty/critical blogs that I started seeing some of my problems with the show being pointed out in ways that helped me figure out how to articulate both what bothered me and the ways I wish they’d been done instead (which, incidentally, has fed into all of my fics). But I wasn’t angry about the show. I didn’t (and don’t) hate the show. It’s like I told an anon who asked if I hated Aang... oh, god, it’s been MONTHS ago now: It’s possible to like/love things and still wish that they were better. And that, for me, is where critcism of the show, characters, and relationships comes from. I love so many things about this show and its characters that I really notice the things that bother me, and I like talking about them because I care about the story, and discussing the things that could have been different has helped me improve as a writer.

Now I’m not a mind reader, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m almost positive that the vast majority of Zutara shippers are coming from the same place. We love the show and its characters, and yet we wish that certain things could have been better. It probably looks like we’re angrier than we really are when we get into deep discussion mode, because... honestly, it would be exhausting to preface every statement with “I love _____, but I wish they’d done ______ instead.” So we don’t say that. Probably ever. Because most of us who do engage in critical/salty discussions come into the conversation with the base assumption that that’s where all the criticism comes from, and it’s easy to forget that there might be people in those spaces who don’t know that.

Of course, there are people who genuinely dislike certain characters or whatever, but of everyone I know, I can think of maybe... two? -ish? who truly hate the characters that that Zutara fandom is most critical of. That’s fine! Those people don’t have to like things just because they exist in the show! But the vast majority of us criticize because we saw potential that wasn’t realized and we want to analyze that, not because we hate the foundation of the show/character/whatever else.

I’m glad that you’ve had a positive, salt-free (or low-salt) experience in the Dramione fandom, but like I said, I’m not in any other fandoms, so I don’t have personal experience with how they work. I’ve heard from other people that there’s salt to be found in every fandom, but I’m guessing that Harry Potter is such a massive fandom that it’s easy to avoid if you don’t want to see it. The Zutara fandom is medium-ish, so there’s fewer niches to carve out within the ship itself.

That said, if you still want to cut back on the salt in your Zutara fandom experience, don’t be afraid to use the tools that social media platforms put at your disposal. If you notice someone whose posts bother you on ANY platform, it’s okay to unfollow or block them so you don’t see their stuff. On Discord, you can mute and hide any salt channels or categories that are bothering you (or depending on the server, have the whole salt role taken away completely if you’re sure you’re not going to use it). And it’s totally okay to redirect people to salt channels if they start geting off topic in other places! I do it fairly often when people start slipping into NSFW content in general channels. On Tumblr, you can filter tags (I admit that I suck at tagging reblogs because I’m LAZY, but the OPs generally tag correctly, and Tumblr’s filters use the OP’s tags too). “Anti-character/relationship”, “character/relationship salt”, and “character/relationship critical” might be good tags to start with, since those are fairly common. I wouldn’t recommend following the Zutara ship tag on Tumblr, because there’s sometimes mistagged stuff from other parts of the fandom (*cough* antis *cough*), but following a small number of blogs you do like and letting them sort your content for you is pretty nice. And... that’s probably all the advice I have, since I’m only on those two platforms. But remember that the block button is your friend and you’re fully within your rights to customize your social media experience any way you like!

...wowza, I got chatty. Anyway, I hope you’re not too discouraged by your experience in the fandom. The criticism really does come from a place of love and wanting to be able to create better fan content, and as proof, I think I’m going to squeeze in one more writing sprint before I fall asleep so I can bring more Zutara content into the world.

Hugs, anon! I hope you can figure out how to make your time in the Zutara fandom what you want it to be.

#zutara #zutara fandom #atla fandom critical #look at me forgetting how to tag stuff like this #🙃🙃

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imanativeofswlondondahling · 4 years

Text

Becoming A Stark? (2) Peter Parker x Stark! femReader

A/N: In celebration of finishing a class that has literally been six weeks of hell, I thought why not post chapter two. I had a blast writing this chapter because I love Natasha. Anyway, enjoy, and as always, let me know if you want to be tagged or your thoughts:)

Word count: 4596

Warnings: swearing, think that’s it

Chapter One (If You Missed It) || Master List

You’ve been staring at the ceiling for hours. You had told Tony you were heading to bed at ten, mainly because you couldn’t stand him looking at you any more, especially since he looked at you like you were going to disappear most of the time. It was straight up creepy. Add to everything, you’re starving. A grumbly stomach and a mind that doesn’t want to shut off makes it impossible to go to sleep. You check Wallace and you’re sitting at 136, which isn’t surprising since you didn’t really eat anything but veggies at dinner since Tony didn’t realize that you were vegetarian so there wasn’t much besides veggies that you could eat of the food that Steve had made. You need real food though or you’re never going to sleep. In your mind you trace through how to get to the kitchen and you think you can get there without getting lost or waking up the other Avengers.

Opening your door, you peak your head out just to see if you spy anyone down the hallway. Seeing the coast is clear, you step softly onto the floor outside your door, almost waiting for an alarm to go off yelling that you’re leaving your room. But after a few heartbeats thudding in your ears and nothing happening, you decide to make your way down the steps to the kitchen. “Jarvis?” You whisper.

“Yes, Miss Y/N?” The voice booms over the speakers that you haven’t seen.

“Shhhh. Take it down a few levels. And turn the lights on in the kitchen.”

“Certainly Miss Y/N.” The lights are blinding after being in your room in the dark for so long.

“Jarvis, dim the lights by uh 75%.”

“Certainly Miss Y/N.” The lights drop drastically and you feel more comfortable. Walking to the pantry, you look for something easy to make. There are ingredients for fancier dishes that you have no patience to make, so instead you reach for a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and then make your way to the fridge to look for jelly. Setting your ingredients on the counter, you grab a paper towel to make your sandwich on before setting on your way of making your sandwich.

“Midnight snack? Or well two am snack?” A voice suddenly comes from the other side of the island and you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Your hand slams to your chest as you knife clatters to the counter. “Do you try to scare people to death?”

“To be fair you did move in with an ex-assassin.” Natasha says with a soft smile as she sits down on the bar stool across from where you stand.

“It wasn’t by choice.”

“I had a feeling.” Natasha’s red hair is pulled into a low ponytail. Her eyes rome over you, seeing the bits of Tony that are in you even though you didn’t know you were related until this morning.

“Want a sandwich?” You offer, trying not to be rude. The other Avengers, you don’t have anything against personally. Just the one who stripped you from your house with his fatherly claim.

“If your sugars are low, I’m not taking your food away from you.” Natasha holds up her hands, trying to show she comes in peace.

“Is there anyone he didn’t tell I’m diabetic to?” You roll your eyes as you slide the sandwich in her direction, grabbing another paper towel to make another. “Wallace says I’m fine for now. I can make another.”

“Wallace?”

“My blood sugar monitor. It’s actually called a Dexcom, but I named it Wallace so that I can say things like Goddamn it Wallace when he wakes me up in the middle of the night. My pump is named Queenie. I think it’s more personal when they have names.”

“I like it.” Natasha lets a small smile escape her as she takes a bite of the sandwich you made. “And to answer your question, he told us all the emergency information about it that your grandmother shared with him. He just wanted all of us to be prepared in case we’re here and he’s not. But if you feel better we can not mention it.”

“It’s fine. It’s been a part of my life as long as I can remember.”

“He’ll probably try to invent something to make your life easier.”

“Seeing as his last thing to make my life easier stripped me of everything I’ve ever known, I’ll turn down that option.” You say with a sneer.

“He means well. Tony just doesn’t always think everything through before he acts.”

“That doesn’t make it any better.” You finish making your sandwich and after throwing the knife in the sink, you enter the carbs into Queenie.

“It doesn’t, but don’t hate him just yet ok?”

“Fine.” Natasha leads you to the couch, where you and her sit, talking for what feels like hours about trivial things until you fall asleep. She wraps a blanket around you, then falls asleep next to you.

Waking up in the morning feels different for Tony. For starters, it’s his first full day of being a dad, even if said kid hates him. True yesterday was probably his first full day, but today is the first full day of having you under his roof. Leaving his room, he makes his way towards the kitchen, thinking he’ll check in on you on his way to get coffee. However when he finds an open door and an empty bed, his heart starts racing. Not even 24 hours into this and he’s lost his kid. “JARVIS find Y/N.”

“Miss Y/N is in the living room.” Are you that early of a riser that you are up at 6:30 on a summer day? Like he himself is only up because he has an idea for your pump that he wants to work on. Bypassing the kitchen and coffee, he makes his way to the living room, needing to calm his heart down. What he finds is not what he’s expecting. The sight in front of him is you, wrapped in a white knitted blanket curled into the side of the deadliest assassin in the world. But you were asleep and safe, that’s what matters. He tries to steady his heart before turning back towards the kitchen, not wanting to wake you yet, since he wasn’t sure when you actually went to sleep. Looking in the sink as he passed to grab a coffee mug, he spies a knife with peanut butter and jelly smeared along the tip. He’s going to have to figure out what you eat since you don’t eat meat. Steve has been cooking for everyone a lot, but with you not eating animals and him cooking a lot of meat and potato meals, there needs to be a compromise. Tony will figure something out, it’s the fatherly thing to do.

Filling a coffee cup up with the liquid he was craving, he starts to type up some of the ideas he had on his Stark Phone so that he can get the ideas down without having to go all the way down to the lab. With you sleeping on the couch, this is the closest you’ve been to him without a grimace plastered on your face since he met you.

“Sir, you said to alert you if Miss Y/N went below 100.” JARVIS’s voice speaks out.

“The actual fuck.” Your voice fills the kitchen as you pad into it from the living room. Tony spins around to look at his daughter, the knit blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

“What?”

“You have your AI monitoring my blood sugar?” You spat out before Tony can respond.

“JARVIS monitors a lot of things for me.”

“That’s fucking creepy. And also you have it set way too high. There’s nothing to do if it’s at 100. That’s a good blood sugar. Have Dexcom send you alerts to your phone like a fucking normal person.” You turn and storm out of the kitchen. You had been used to constant monitoring when you were a kid. But you had been allowed to be the person watching your sugars for years. Having an AI watching your sugars was too much.

You throw your book, your headphones and your wallet into your backpack before pulling on a pair of ripped jean shorts and a black graphic t-shirt that says ‘Sorry I’m Late I Didn’t Want To Come’. Slipping on a pair of galaxy high top converse that you love and sliding a pair of black and gold could have been Ray Bans if you had the money into your hair, you figure that if you slip out the back end of the hallway, Tony won’t see you leave. Checking Queenie before you walk out the door, you have plenty of insulin so you’ll spend the day out of the eye of your overbearing father and in the city you love. Peaking your head out you see no one out in the hall, not even Natasha. So you slink down the hallway towards the elevator and get on it without anyone noticing. “Jarvis, take me to the ground floor.” You wait for him to say no, but are surprised.

“Certainly Miss Y/N.” Once on the ground floor you pull the sunglasses down, already seeing that there are a few vultures waiting with cameras outside. But when they see it’s just a kid and not one of the Avengers, they let you walk on by without snapping anything. Taking your phone out of your pocket you type a quick message in your group chat to your two best friends, letting them know you’re taking a day off of social media and texting before flipping your phone to airplane mode. No creepy AIs for you today.

Taking your metro card and headphones out of your backpack, you make your way towards the closest station. If you hop the four or the five train you could head to your favorite coffee shop and even hit up The Strand before making a next move. Swiping your card, you hear the sounds of a train pulling into the station.

Tony throws the screw drive across the bench in frustration. Maybe Y/N was right. Maybe having JARVIS monitoring your sugars was too much, but he doesn’t know how to be any other way. Especially when his child that he’s only known about for two days has a life or death condition. “JARVIS what’s Y/N’s blood sugar?”

“I don’t know sir. I can’t read it.”

“What?” His project is forgotten, his child the only though in his mind.

“Her phone isn’t connected to the internet.” And your monitor has to link through the internet to connect to JARVIS.

“Is there something wrong with the internet?”

“No. Internet is functioning at 100%.”

“So why is her phone not connected to it?”

“I can not say sir.” Tony pushes away from the bench and makes his way up the stairs to see why your phone isn’t connected to the internet. He looks in the kitchen for you before looking in the living room. He finds only Clint on the couch.

“Have you seen Y/N?”

“Not today. Maybe she’s in her room?” Tony turns and moves quickly through the kitchen and up the stairs, finding your door open. He moves down the hallway to Natasha’s room, hoping she might know where you are. He pounds on the door.

“What?” The response is short as the door is pried open.

“Y/N, have you seen her?”

“Not since this morning. Why?” Ignoring her, Tony calls out for JARVIS.

“JARVIS, where is Y/N?”

“Miss Y/N left the tower at 9:46 this morning.”

“Why was I not told?”

“You didn’t ask to be told.”

“Tony, do you think she went home?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I can’t get a reading on her blood sugars though.” Tony is pacing in the hallway. “What if she’s hurt?”

“JARVIS can you override her phone?” Natasha asks, not counting on it.

“No I can not. It is not a Stark Phone.”

“That changes immediately.” Tony mutters, but Natasha ignores him. Instead she pulls out her laptop.

“JARVIS can you pull up the security camera footage from the front door from when Y/N left?”

“Of course. I’ll send it to your computer.” The images of Y/N sauntering past the paparazzi, smirking as she pulls her sunglasses on makes Natasha let go of a breathy laugh. She watches as you walk towards the downtown subway station.

“She’s not heading home?” Tony says looking at the screen.

“She’s not?” Natasha asks.

“Her grandparents live in Queens. She wouldn’t take a downtown train to go home.” Natasha hits some keys and runs your face through some camera recognition until she finds where you get off, but shuts the laptop before Tony can see where you got off. “Natasha-”

“If I let you see where she went, you two will get in a screaming match in the middle of the street. Is that really how you want the world to find out that Tony Stark has a child?”

“At least get her to turn her phone on so I can see she’s not dying?”

“I’ll try.”

When you read, you fall so deeply into a book that you don’t have to even think about it. Hours pass, coffee is drunk, and the day rolls away from you. The argument, if you could even call it, with Tony seems days ago now. You’ve always loved the atmosphere of The Bean and would stay there for days if they didn’t have to lock up at times. Turning the page, you push Tony from your head, and just focus on your music. You could live in this moment forever, but out of the corner of your eye you notice a redhead sitting down at your table. Glancing up, you shouldn’t be totally surprised that Natasha found you. “I know you’re an assassin, but like stalking is a crime,” You say as you pull the earbuds from your ears.

“Tracking a runaway here, not stalking.” Natasha says softly as she places fresh coffee in front of the two of you.

“I didn’t run away. I just needed to get out of that tower. It was suffocating me.” You say as you pick up the cup sitting in front of you.

“You turned your phone off.”

“I didn’t turn it off. I put it on airplane mode.” You can’t help but smile.

“Tony thinks you’re lying passed out on the side of the road because he can’t read your blood sugars.”

“Well let him live like that for a bit. He deserves it after programming his AI to shout my BGs all over the tower.”

“You know Tony doesn’t check his phone right? JARVIS is his phone essentially. So telling him to just send notifications to his phone wouldn’t do much different than having JARVIS tell him stuff.” Natasha reaches a hand across the table to grasp yours. “He’s trying.”

“He’s suffocating me.”

“It’s going to take him a few tries before he gets this right. He could have flown out here in his Iron Man suit to make sure you were still alive. Pretty sure that’s what he wanted to do.”

“Ugh, no! That’s worse than having you stalking me here.”

“Again, not stalking. This was a recovery mission.” Natasha takes a sip from her own mug. “So you going to come home or am I going to have to kidnap you to bring you home?”

“I still have things to get done today.” You say with a non committal shrug.

“Y/N, you’re fourteen. You have to at least tell your guardian when you’re going to run around New York City.”

“He doesn’t even-”

“Don’t say he didn’t care before yesterday, because that’s not fair to either of you. He didn’t know about you before forty eight hours ago. I was there when he got the call.” You think back to last night when Tony introduced Natasha as Nat and things start to make a lot more sense.

“If you were there, tell me about it.” You say, finally marking your page in the book and setting it aside.

“He was pretty shocked to say the least. He was confused on why a school was calling him, but then to be told it was his daughter’s school, well he basically went into shock. He was listening to them talk about you while I tried to find out what I could about you. When we hung up he shot into a Tony rant about needing to find you and know you. To not be like Howard and to show you that he was going to be there for you.”

“Who’s Howard?” You ask, not following.

“Your grandfather, Tony’s dad. But if you want to know more about him, you’ll have to talk to him.” Natasha takes another sip of her coffee.

“What happened after his rant?”

“He spent most of the night on the phone with his lawyers. Trying to figure out the best plan of attack and what to do for you. Also spent a fair amount of time talking with Pepper about the situation.”

“Who’s Pepper?”

“His girlfriend, but also the CEO of SI.”

“He’s dating his CEO?”

“Technically they were dating before she became CEO. She’s put up with a lot of his shit before and after being placed in the position.”

“Why?”

“Because she loves him.” Natasha says it like it’s an easy answer. “Maybe you should talk with her when you have a chance. She knows that Tony isn’t easy to talk to but he’s worth it more than any of us.”

“Maybe.” You take a sip from your coffee, not wanting to admit that meeting your new to you father’s girlfriend wasn’t something that you were all that interested in.

“You don’t have to decide right now, but you’ll probably meet her eventually.”

“If it happens, it happens I guess.”

“You’d like her I think.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she doesn’t put up with Tony’s shit either.” Not wanting to hear about Tony much more you shrug.

“Do you want to see my favorite place in the whole city?” Natasha doesn’t ignore the fact that you’re changing the topic, but nods. You throw your book in your backpack, along with your earbuds, before swallowing the last bit of your coffee. “Come on! It’s right over here.” You motion for her to follow. Across the street, the red banner awaits you. You ignore the carts sitting by the door, wanting to show Natasha the inside beauty of The Strand.

“Wow, you know who would love this place? Steve.” Natasha says as she looks at the shelves that line the walls. Thousands of books fill the store and you could take hours looking at each and everyone.

“My Pops brought me here when I was like six and I’ve been coming here ever since. It’s the best place to find amazing books.”

“Where do you start looking?”

“Queer YA, always.” You answer without a second thought. “They always have something I haven’t read waiting there for me.”

“Lead the way.” Natasha motions forward, towards the rest of the store, not knowing where that would be, but is willing to follow you.

“Really? I’m not going to force you into seeing what I look at-”

“I want to see the things you’re interested in.” Natasha lets off a soft smile, similar to the ones she had given you last night when talking with you on the couch and you decide to just trust her.

“It’s upstairs.”

“Let’s go.” She follows you up the winding staircase towards the YA section. Even though both of you could have easily made jokes about the Avenger end cap that was meant to inspire reading about ‘Heroes Just Like You’, neither of you point it out as you walk towards the Queer YA table. Looking at the table, it’s easy to fall into the habit of looking at books and picking up ones that interest you- Love Simon, Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe, The Disasters, More Happy Than Not, Every Day, Darius The Great Is Not Ok,and so many others. Natasha eventually takes the books from your arms so you can pick up more.

“I need to pair down. I can’t afford all of these.” You say looking at the pile that has accumulated in her arms.

“Tony can. It’s fine. Ready to pay and head home?” Natasha asks.

“Wait what? I’m not letting him buy these.” You say defensively.

“It’s ok Y/N. You’re his kid and the price of these are pocket change to him.” She starts to make her way towards the staircase to head downstairs to pay.

“Natasha, no. I’ve known him for less than twenty four hours.

“He honestly would demand to pay for them if he was here. I promise, it’s ok.” Natasha steps down the first couple of stairs. “You coming? Or are there more books you want?”

“I’m done.” You say, not wanting her to purchase more stuff in Tony’s name. During the checkout process, you find yourself unable to find your voice as the total just climbs. The number is higher than you’ve ever seen it. Nana and Pops never would have let you spend this much money, but Natasha swipes a black credit card without second thought. You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because of it. That much money could have paid for your Nana’s medicine for a month. And as much as you want the books, you know so many other people it could have actually helped and to Tony it was no big deal to drop this amount of money on this stack of books.

Walking outside of the Strand, you turn to make your way back to the four train when Natasha catches your arm. “This way Y/N.”

“The subway’s this way.” You point down the street.

“Happy’s picking us up.” You don’t say anything, but follow her. Private chauffeur when you have a perfectly working metro card makes no sense. You’ve been using the metro since you were a child, so stopping now makes no sense to you. Honestly, even though there can be weirdos on the subway, you love the feeling of the train moving beneath you. It’s a part of being at home. But maybe this is part of Tony’s whole not touching things that he doesn’t like public transportation? All you have to do is make it through the next two weeks of summer and then you’ll be back at school and hopefully he’ll cool off.

“Romanoff, Y/N.” Happy opens the door for the two of you to slide into the back seat. Natasha gives him that tight smile. And before you know it you’re in the elevator headed back up to the suffocating hellhole that is the tower. You shouldn’t be surprised to see that Tony is waiting for you when you step off the elevator.

“Never, ever shut your phone off like that again.” You roll your eyes, but start to walk away from him. “We’re not done talking Y/N.”

“I’m going to my room. Or is that not allowed now?”

“We’re having a conversation about the fact that you left without telling anyone and that you shut off a major communication device, so no you may not leave right now.” Tony’s face gets red as his anger enters his voice.

“I’ll put these in your room. I think you and Tony need to talk Y/N.” Natasha lifts the bag of books as well as takes the backpack from you. Instead of running to your room like you want to, you slam onto the couch, knowing that even if you did leave to go to your room, Tony would probably follow you.

“I know you’re not ecstatic about this new living situation, but we have to put some ground rules in place.”

“Ecstatic is the last word I would use to describe this.” You motion between Tony and yourself. “You’re treating me like I have no clue how to deal with the disease that I have been dealing with since I was four on top of the fact that you won’t let me walk around the city that I have lived in and traveled in since I was a child. You’re treating me like I’m new to all of this when really the only new thing here is you to my life.”

“Ok maybe I’m not handling your diabetes well. And I’ll work on that. But what you’re not understanding is that you are no longer Y/N Y/L/N. You’re Y/N Stark and there are a lot of people who would do anything to get their hands on you. Which means you can’t just wander the streets of New York without at least telling us where you went and shutting your phone off because it’s a safety issue. If you get hurt, that’s on me. And I’m not letting that happen.”

“People don’t want to get their hands on me. I’m a nobody.” You scoff.

“You’re the heir of Stark Industries. That doesn’t make you a nobody.” Tony runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t explain that well enough but on your eighteenth birthday you come into a large fortune and then on your twenty first birthday or on the completion of college, whichever comes first, you have the opportunity to take over SI. That puts a large target on your back and I’m sorry about that, but I’m not sorry that I’m going to put your safety first.”

“I don’t want to run Stark Industries.” You say, the disgust at the idea filling your mouth.

“Then we will figure something out, but right now, keeping you safe is my number one concern. So you can not leave the tower without Happy. No more metro hopping, no teenage angsty storming out of the building, and 1000% no turning off your phone so I can’t read your blood sugars. Also your new phone will be here tomorrow.”

“What new phone? My phone works fine.” You casually don’t mention that you’ve had the same phone for three years, but that it’s worked just fine that whole time.

“I can’t have you using competitors’ products. You’re getting a Stark Phone tomorrow.”

“You just want it so your tech can override my settings.” You imply with a scoff.

“Not at all. I can’t have you running around with competitors’ products, especially when it’s being announced on Monday that I have a daughter.”

“What? Why?”

“Because there’s only so many times you can be seen leaving the Tower before people get suspicious. Plus Monday gives Pepper and the legal team to pull together an official statement from SI too.” You drop your head into your hands. “Talk to me kiddo. What’s with the defeated look?”

“We can’t wait until school at least starts?”

“Pep thinks the sooner we announce it the better.”

“Yeah well she never had to go to high school a week after it was announced that she was Tony Stark’s kid and the supposed to be inheritor of SI. I’ll never have a life again. I haven’t even told my friends yet.”

“You have time. Invite them over. They can come over for dinner tomorrow or something.”

“Ugh, fine.”

tags: @persephonehemingway @iamaunicorn4704 @furiouspockettoad @daughter-of-stark @eternalharry @huntective-kyeo

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