#<i've tried to draw the actors as best as i could. but i suppose the characters being recognisable is enough??? hhh>

[burningvelvet]

Quickly and poorly reviewing and ranking adaptations of Jane Eyre (1996, 1997, 2006, 2011) by their pros and cons:

1996 pros:

Best fire scene, easily. It actually gave me that excited feeling that good cinema gives a person. Much of the cinematic art was enjoyable altogether, including the costumes.

This film probably has ond of the best Bertha's in my opinion. She's truly sympathetic, beautiful, and fierce. probably tied for my favorite Bertha actress with 2006. She and Poole are given little time in the story, however.

Most adaptations shit on St. John. Here, that isn't the case. What little time he has is spent in making him much more appealing than I've ever seen him, both physically and characteristically. I like this, because many forget that Jane did love him in her way, and he is supposed to be attractive and nice despite his zealotism.

1996 has the best Adèle, which is amazing for me as a big Adèle fan. There is more focus on her and her relationships with Jane/Rochester. I particularly love the scene where J draws R and Adèle tries to play cupid a little, and when Adèle is offended when the ladies insult Jane.

Best Lowood plot by far. This is the first time I've been able to stand the Young Jane scenes, and little time was devoted to her early life with the Reeds, just enough to let us know she was abused. I like this choice. The young actresses playing Jane and Helen were the best and most rebelious I've seen yet. Their hair cutting scene brought tears to my eyes, which rarely ever happens for me.

Good Blanche plotline. I absolutely love the cinematography/aesthetic & set design.

1996 cons:

the actors are individually endearing in some ways (the scene of Jane and the mirror is particularly touching, as is their reunion). However, The biggest downside to this adaptation is that the chemistry between Jane and Rochester was lacking in my opinion. this is particularly notable in their meeting scene and first proposal scene.

William Hurt is a fantastic actor, and he's likeable, but he's not my favorite Rochester ever. He's alright. On a rewatch I could see myself warming to him more.

I love Charlotte Gainsbourg more for her music than her acting. Granted, she was young here like Jane is supposed to be, so I do not blame her. Visually, aside from her height, I can absolutely see her as Jane. As the film went on I warmed to her acting style; Jane Eyre is a hard role to perform due to her inwardness. I don't think she was horrible, but Anna Paquin (of later True Blood fame) as Young Jane Eyre somewhat outshined Gainsbourg.

I was disappointed in Adèle being sent away to school before the disaster and her not coming back in the end (why couldn't they have had her running with Pilot in the landscape shot!!!).

1997 pros:

Maybe the most accurate Jane and Rochester. I wasn't expecting to like him at all but he blew me away. excellent chemistry between the actors. The dancing scene was very captivating, as was the scene with him jumping from the walkway, their outdoor talks, him chasing her down the stairs — really, I was impressed, because I thought I'd hate this film. Like in the novel and in 96, both actors are a bit conventionally unattractive (well, compared to 11 and to some extent 06) - and like them, the characters grow on you.

BEST ST. JOHN (although 2006 has the best Rivers sisters) - St. John is described as being nice though serious, and looking like a statue of a Greek God with all the coldness AND beauty - and this movie is the only one who relatively understood that assignment (96 came close emphasizing his niceness). Most adaptations adapt his coldness but not his conventional Eurocentric good looks, which not only symbolize his colonizer attribute but also his appeal to Jane and the others. It's also important to have a conventionally handsome actor play St. John just as it's important to have a conventionally less attractive Jane Eyre because one theme of the novel is the critique of Victorian physiognomy & beauty; Jane/Rochester being unconventionally attractive is a contrast to Bertha, St. John, Blanche, Georgiana being attractive, so I think this element is not inconsequential. The difficult part is that beauty is highly subjective, so relying on conventional standards is key, as is the reminder that Victorian standards were a bit different from our own.

good Lowood plotline, good Gateshead plotline, fantastic Adèle with lots of adorableness & miraculous though OOC bonding between her and Rochester, fantastic costuming (though I don't know about accuracy), good Blanche plotline overall. Probably my favorite Bertha plotline for being sufficiently creepy.

1997 cons:

this isn't really a con for me but many people may dislike 97 Rochester for being passionate to the point of coming off crazy, and physical domineering as when he grabs Jane when she tries to leave — however, this does kind of fit for canonical Rochester & I don't mind it since he's supposed to be that way, but this is still arguably a con nevertheless. he does come off as too forward but i get they were trying to capture the whole overpassionate thing. it does come off as a little more toxic than other depictions perhaps!

I have very few complaints overall. I don't think the chemistry is as appealing as 2006, but it is accurate. I wish there was more Adèle, but you can't have everything.

The posters are bad and make the actors look worse than they are which subsequently turns people away. I think 1996 was marketed a bit better but that 2006 also suffers from bad poster syndrome which had an effect on me also. Presentation is important; marketing and advertising are also important in cinema. The aesthetic isn't as good as 1996 although I don't think the visuals are bad overall.

Jane is a little dissociative seeming, which can be off-putting for myself and other viewers I assume, but to be fair she is described as being like a weird little elf creature in the book, and the actress plays this very well, actually looking quite ill when Rochester asks if she is.

2006 pros:

Best chemistry between Jane/Rochester by far and for this reason will always be my favorite because it actually made me fall in love with Rochester in the end though I didn't like his portrayal at all at first (that's power! — and my love for this Rochester should arguably be a con for the sake of my sanity and pride). best Rochester imo and a fantastic Jane. I love love love the way they did the Rochester storytime flashbacks and fleshed out his character as a result.

Best and most enjoyable Blanche Ingram plotline by far (although no one likes the lack of Rochester-in-drag, the party scenes & insertion of the twin flame theory was delightful).

some of the best dialogue, fantastic Adèle plotline, good Bertha plotline, best Pilot, best Rosamond, good costuming, good sets/locations (the fairytale ambience of Jane walking outside before meeting Rochester! Rochester's weird study!), I like the extra focus placed on themes such as nature/genetics/science, religion, travel, sexuality, etc.

2006 cons:

I dislike the way they did the Lowood and Gateshead plots, and although the Rivers sisters were good, I resent their St. John plotline for the most part. I disliked the lack of mystery surrounding Bertha; I think they made it way too obvious & not creepy enough, especially in showing her perspective from the window and giving her lines (one line, calling Jane a whore in Spanish) which no other adaptation does. I was sorely bored before and after Thornfield and only really revived when she got back to Ferndean (although Jane's flashbacks and some of the St. John plotline [the references to love, reminding us of her inner thoughts of Rochester] kept me alive). I suppose there were prices to pay for the excellence of the Jane and Rochester moments. - in comparison these seem like small prices, but still!

2011 pros:

deciding to go with a non-linear structure was a fantastic choice though I was skeptical of it at first, good St. John plotline for the most part & which they put emphasis on, really fantastic Jane with a lot of good fierce moments & lines, maybe the best Gateshead plotline including Mrs. Reed & the Red Room scene (although the lack of red was disappointing, and the lack of explanation for the chimney monster is conflicting – was it all in her head?), good young Jane, one of the best Richard Masons, star-studded cast, good dialogue, maybe the best costuming, Aesthetic™️

2011 cons:

least favorite adele (not insulting the child actress, this is the fault of the writers/directors)

— this is where i call security to protect me from an onslaught of jane eyre 2011 fans here on tumblr. alright, maybe i should watch it again — but i was expecting a lot more. particularly from michael fassbender as mr. rochester. probably my least favorite rochester by far & the least sympathetic. this rochester captures the dark and dangerous part of him but imo not so much the higher feelings that define him. the lack of humour & lack of unrepressed passion/drama/rage is noticeable - rochester isn't supposed to be quiet; as toby stephens (2006) said in an interview, rochester never shuts up in the book, he's really too eccentric to even be adapted accurately; he has to be toned down to be realistic, but here he's muted too far. - i felt like mia was carrying all of their scenes on her back & that the chemistry really rested on her primarily.

Cinematography-wise, there are some gems in the stills (famous hand holding gif), but I dislike the overall muted palette of the film; many will think this suits the tone and in some ways I agree, however, I will always prefer color and dislike the epidemic of desaturation we've seen so often in 21st century cinema. For this reason, 96, 97, 06 all triumph against 2011 aesthetically for me personally, although I still recognize some of the artistry of 2011, it is not my preference.

My overall ranking: 2006 (primarily for Jane/Rochester), 1997 (excellent overall), 1996 (good but flawed), 2011 (I tried but overall did not enjoy it).

[rhube]

Controversial opinion: I don't mind this casting.

I am saying this as a non-binary person.

Should you try to cast non-binary people in non-binary roles? Yes, of course!

Is Alexander Skarsgard non-binary?

I have no idea and neither do you.

Listen: I have known people who have had to out themselves because they were criticised for working on LGBTQ+ things when people assumed they were cis and het.

I've also had the unpleasant experience of being possibly the only out non-binary person in a business, meaning that the business refused to report on salary equality for non-binary people because the sample sizes were so small that it would be possible to identify the people involved from the comparison. Given that it was me who forced HR to have non-binary as an option, I am fairly sure I was the first non-binary person to be recorded. I also knew several non-binary or questioning people on staff who were definitely not out and certainly hadn't talked to HR about it.

There are faaaaar more non-binary people than you think, and my experience has been than most of us aren't out.

To my knowledge, Alexander Skasgard publically presents as a cis man*. But he works in an industry where that works massively to his advantage - especially because it means he gets to be a leading man. There's no Oscars category for best NB actor.

Sure, he has strong paradigmatically male biological characteristics - he's very tall, broad-shouldered, and square-jawed - and I'm sure a lot of people were hoping for a more androgynous look. But I am agender and I could not possibly have more paradigmatically female biological characteristics. It does not mean I am feminine. It just means I'm short, have huge boobs, an hour-glass figure, small shoulders, a vadge, and a soft face.

If you only ever have androgynous-looking actors play non-binary characters on TV, it means I'll never be represented.

True, Murderbot is described as being 'generic human' in appearance, not clearly gendered in any way, but it's also a fighting machine and personally I imagine it being fairly tall.

I recently saw a Mastodon poll asking people if they imagined Murderbot's voice as 'male' or 'female', and it made me so angry! Voices AREN'T male or female. They are high or low or middling. There was no option for middling. You could even phrase it as baritone, tenor, alto, or soprano, but they didn't.

I have a high soprano voice, by the way. Several times I have been in choirs where I had to sing alone because I was the only one who could reach the notes.

Still agender.

Would it be great for Murderbot to be played by an out non-binary actor? Sure! Name one! No Googling!

[This is rhetorical, please don't reblog this post with names; I know they exist, the point is about numbers and general visibility.]

And yeah, there are almost certainly great non-binary actors out there - I used to act! I was in the National Youth Theatre! I think I was pretty good.

You wouldn't cast me as Murderbot, though. Regrettably, no one is ever gonna mistake me for a killing machine.

So, what is the pool of actors you have to draw on if you limit yourself to casting from out non-binary people? Even supposing you're open to complete unknowns.

It's pretty small.

Probably equivalent to the percentage of people who were willing to tell HR they were non-binary at my work.

And almost all of them probably put down a gender on forms for agents and casting directors because that is how you get work as an actor - there is Far More Pressure for that in acting than almost any other field I can think of.

I don't know how they did the casting call and it may be that they could have done it better than they did (or they may have tried very hard to find an NB actor who was right and failed - I don't know!). But that doesn't mean Alexander Skasgard is wrong for the role.

It definitely doesn't mean he should be hounded about it, so do not fucking do that, OK?

There is a very high chance that you know a lot of people who are non-binary that you don't know are non-binary. Especially among people in their 30s and 40s who are therefore old enough to have had an established acting career. As I've mentioned many, many times, most people in my age group were deliberately barred from knowing non-binary was an option until they were already adults and reasonably settled in how they'd decided to handle the gender nonsense that was the background radiation of their lives.

I'm happy Murderbot is getting a TV series. Alexander Skasgard is a great actor that I can see being pretty well-suited to the role in terms of acting range.

I have no reason to think he is secretly non-binary, but I also have no reason to think that he isn't. Always question what illicit gender stereotypes you're drawing on when you assume you can 'tell'.

Point is: this 'shame people until only those who are out as having that exact identity can have those roles' game is a dangerous one that hurts real people.

And also I don't want people shaming ME for thinking it's cool an actor I admire will be portraying my identity.

WE DON'T HAVE TO BE A BUMMER ABOUT FINALLY GETTING SOME PROMINENT NB REPRESENTATION.

See also: non-binary people are not where binary trans people are in terms of representation. We're more like where trans women were in the 80s and 90s. You know, back when getting a big male star to play a trans woman was actually a big risk and a show of support for the actor. Thankfully, there are now quite a few prominent trans women actors. It's still not easy, but if you wanted a big actor who was also an out trans woman, you would have far more options than you do for out non-binary actors.

Also, I don't think there is an exact equivalent to Murderbot's gender identity out there in the human world. I reckon agender is pretty close, being a complete lack of gender, but I do not have the same feels about the relationship between my body and my lack of gender that Murderbot does. My body was not manufactured and it has (as mentioned) pretty clear sexual characteristics that Murderbot lacks.

You will not find anyone who can authentically present Murderbot's experience as their own. And as a non-binary person the equation of my identity with non-humans and robots is pretty uncomfortable anyway.

I sure do hope they have SOME non-binary actors among the human cast, though. Given quite how many human non-binary people there are in the books, there is a broad opportunity to at least try to do acting calls that are open to non-binary people. Characters who are sketched much more loosely in the books than Murderbot.

Like, maybe it will turn out to be a complete cluster fuck, but we don't know enough about the production to say that it will be yet. I want to feel happy about this. I don't want to feel shamed because I think 'actually, I think he could be pretty good'.

And above all, the culture of shaming people until they prove their LGBTQ+ creds has to stop.

*And we should respect that. This post should NOT be read as speculating on his gender identity. Entirely the reverse!

[neonacity]

Hiii, i love your fics so much, thank you for your hard work 🥰🥰

I was thinking if you could write a fic based on baekhyuns "love again", it can be with a lead of your choice

Thank you in advance 💚

"Just stay for the night."

Johnny tried his best to keep his tone casual as he watched her silhoutte bend over the side of the bed. It was a relief, he thought, that the lamp threw shadows over him to hide the way his eyes flickered with longing even before she was gone. She paused at his suggestion, but only briefly, before she pulled on her skirt.

"I have to go back. I have an early meeting tomorrow."

"You didn't have any problem going straight to your office from my place before. Or do you want to make sure you look pretty for your boss now?"

He hated the way he rolled his words smoothly with sarcasm, as if his chest wasn't pinching from that goddamn dull ache that he had been wrestling with for weeks. He's a good actor, to say the least, and not once had he ever let someone one-up him in his game.

Even her.

Maybe, especially her.

After all, Johnny always gets what he wants. He's not one to be left hanging—he is the one who always cuts ties off. He never wanted anything more than lingering touches and lips on skin, and her starry-eyed gaze obviously didn't agree with that.

That was before.

When he realized that his nights with her started having a tinge of warmth that was beyond what the afterglow of passion offers, Johnny did what he always does best. Pull back. He made it clear that there are lines never to be crossed and he broke her, until there was nothing left for her to grasp on. She was supposed to be just another laurel in his crown.

And she was, until she wasn't anymore.

Everything about you was like looking in the mirror.

We were so much alike. The pretty lips that used to tell me love, now don't say any words, as if they were locked.

"Maybe I do. What's that got to do with you?"

"Are you fucking him?"

You said you loved me, but you tried to run away. Our race of love will never end, babe.

The way she froze made his jaw clench. Once upon a time, she would have crossed heaven and hell just to let him know that he was the only one. Now, she could barely even look at him, even in moments when her nails would draw maps down his back in her completion. She would still gasp out his name, but never in the same way that made him unravel before without his knowing.

"I am. Just like how I'm fucking you. Do you have a problem with that?"

The world felt tilted as soon as the words left her. He had known it, but he never wanted to hear it. At the back of the pain and the anger rears demons he had tried so hard to push back before. Only now, they have finally caught up with him.

Love.

Regret.

Longing.

I'll return everything to its place. I'm where I've always been.

I'm filled with those memories. I'm still just as I've always been.

Tell me once again, tell me you love me like you did that day.

The clicking of his metal lighter sounded the same time the lock clicked. Smoke curled in front of him, looking like the ghost of what could have been.

"I'm leaving," her voice broke the suffocating silence just as she reached the door. Her head turned just a little bit towards him, though her eyes never touched his.

"Try not to smoke too much... It's bad for you."

Johnny always gets what he wants.

But not her.

Especially not her.

*******

A/N: I can't write a full fic but you had to choose Baekhyun who is my number one bias so I turned it into a drabble with my NCT hubby. It's been a while since I did angst so I'm a little rusty but I hope you like this!❤️

[frecklystars]

feels absolutely fucking devastating that i cant look at TF without getting nauseous. i tried to draw starscream giving me a hug bc i miss him and i need him but i couldnt make it past 5 minutes without getting sick. i cant do it. i cant fucking do it. i hate my abuser for what she did to me, i hate that she took my joy from me. i spend all this time loving all over ryan's/margot's characters but then i get hit with this fucking empty numb stab to the chest when i remember what i lost. i spent 3 years thinking about TF nonstop so of course my brain is automatically remembering TF because it's used to receiving serotonin from that -- but now when TF pops into my head, it's like, i get that sick feeling, this ache in my core that's like... i lost something that helped me stay alive and i feel aimless without it. i love ken but he isnt starscream. i love six but he isnt bee. i love seb but he isn't fixit.

well it really isn't my birthday unless if i'm having a fucking breakdown right. i wasn't supposed to live this year. i say that every year, but this was such a bad fucking year, this was the worst year of my life and it just keeps fucking going. i cannot put into words how much of your own life trauma takes from you. it's the only thing your brain can think about and you're even hurting when you're asleep. i attempted to take my life so many times and someone i trusted used that against me, took advantage of my vulnerability and turned my only comfort characters against me. im bitter and im depressed and i just want that part of myself back but it just feels so hopeless

there was nothing that comforted me the way TF did, the cameos i bought, the comics i made, the animatics i planned, the playlists with hundreds of songs that i can no longer listen to. the endless amounts of shows and movies i could have spent time enjoying. fuck, if i didn't meet my abuser, i'd be enjoying earthspark. i've heard that stsc is treated with respect there, that his abuse is taken seriously. and he's voiced. by steve. blum. and i would have loved it. i would have wept for it. i would have made so much art. that was MY JOY that was fucking ROBBED from me. steve blum told me with his own voice in his own words looking into my eyes, keri i hope you enjoy earthspark, im excited for you to see starscream. and i. cant.

it's horrifying when my therapist tells me that my reaction to TF isnt just a c-ptsd trigger response but it's also a grief response. that im grieving this Thing because it's so ruined. and it's not just TF that i lost, it's... the experiences, like, what the hell dude i met steve blum after two years of buying so many personalized voice clips from him. that man held me in his arms and squeezed me so tight and he acted like he was as excited to meet me as i was to meet him. he recognized my name written on that envelope i gave to him, and was so overjoyed to meet his "little starflower". that was the best moment of my life and now i look back on it and i just cry about it bc i feel nothing. im so numb to everything related to TF and the voice actors. i've spent hours chatting back and forth with the voice actor for fixit... i have so many cameos and messages/chats where he was so kind to me and we'd talk about anything and everything. i have so many cameos from so many different TF voice actors, instant messages, shoutouts. and when i replay the voice clips of the characters saying "i love you" to me, to me, personalized with my name, it's like i'm hearing them but i'm not internalizing them. like the love the characters have for me is hitting an invisible forcefield and it won't reach me anymore. it's like all of the time i spent loving and being loved by these characters meant jack shit. i had special experiences with real people! with real voice actors!! i had!!! conversations!!! ive had my artwork held in these peoples hands!!!! my art is on steve blum's desk!!!! his agent promoted my artwork on instagram three separate times before he put it on all of his websites and i can't be happy about that anymore. i'm trying! i'm trying!! but i feel nothing! it's not like i want to feel this way!

and im bitter about it. i was mistreated for so long, and when i was offline, unable to defend myself, my abuser spread rumors about me to artists that i had never even met. our friends in our inner circle blocked me when i was hurting and i hadn't even spoken to them in months, and when i asked why i was suddenly unable to chat with them, she said "don't worry about it." she spent MONTHS trying to tarnish my name despite the fact that i cut ties with her way back in the beginning of the year. i remember the time she told me over the phone "i'm getting attached to you... it's not good. that's going to be a problem for you." and i didn't know what she meant at the time but god that was my 50 billionth red flag that i overlooked. she told me repeatedly that she hurts people. i almost thought she was bragging about it, she wore her misery like a badge. i just kept taking excuse after excuse after excuse until this person killed the core part of myself. i had no strength to fight back. i hate myself for putting up with all of her shitty behavior. i sometimes wish i never ever got into TF at all in the first place, so i'd never meet her, so i'd never know all of the f/os that i lost

barbie at least breathed a little bit of life back into me but i still have days where i feel like a zombie. im just a dead body feeling like my heart was ripped out of me and im supposed to just go through the fucking motions as if nothing happened? as if someone didnt spend over a year hurting me on purpose every chance she got? and i spent the whole day today trying so so so hard to enjoy my birthday, but i had ptsd flashbacks at work. i still have nightmares about my f/os physically hurting me and saying that they're doing it for my abuser. sometimes i have nightmares about ken hurting me, the dream starts off really soft but then suddenly my abuser will show up and it's as if he's under a spell, and he snaps into some entirely different person, fists raised and he becomes a monster. i've never associated my abuser with any of ryan's characters but! im just traumatized! i guess!!!

i didnt start to enjoy my bday today until i sat down to watch the barbie movie with one of my friends. but once that ended i saw that inbox message of someone loving starscream so much and it made me so nauseous. i miss him. i had something so fucking special and it's ruined and i just want it back. im never getting it back. "this is not a temporary love" was just a big fucking joke. my saving starlight AU, all of the years i've spent working on my stories and my universes, everything i've done, all of it was so pointless. it's so painful to look at a comfort character and to flinch, to immediately think that they'd have no greater joy than to betray me the way my abuser did. she would go into such explicit detail about the vile, disgusting things they would do, the most atrocious unspeakable things, and i can't shake that out of my head. i keep holding onto blind hope that i can heal from it but it feels hopeless

i can only afford therapy once a month now, i can't afford my meds, i'm never going to have parents or siblings who will love me. i wasn't supposed to live to see my bday this year and i am so fucking angry that none of my attempts worked. there's one attempt that was so close and i think about it at least once every few days, how i'd surely succeed if i tried one more time. and that scares me!!! i don't want to think like that!!!! i want to get better damn it!!!! i'm so sick of feeling so goddamn bad!!!! but i've never had self shipping be ruined for me like that, i've never had comfort characters be ruined for me, i've never had a special interest be turned into a trigger and used against me. i've never been betrayed by someone i trusted like that.

i am grateful for barbie/ken/six/etc but god it's not enough. it's not starscream, it's not bee, it's not what i had before. it's not the same. and when this hyperfixation fades i'm going to go back to feeling nothing, and i'm so terrified of that. i don't want to go back to crawling and begging to feel something again. i'm shocked this hyperfixation has lasted longer than 2 months. i don't want to lose it, i'm so scared of when i'll lose it and when i'll be completely empty again.

i am so broken it's like someone spent over a year stabbing me with a dull knife and then cutting me off from a handful of my friends, kicking me into the dirt and everyone expects me to just get up and brush it off. and i feel like people don't understand this feeling unless if they've experienced abuse/ptsd as well. it feels like my bday every year gets worse and worse and if i'm going to feel this fucking bad i wish that something inside of me would finally just kill me. i'm sick of being so heartbroken and if things can't get better then i really just want it all to be over. i dont care whats in the afterlife, if there's something or if there's nothing, anything is better than this constant misery eating me up

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

So I've been thinking about something!!

Hol Horse and Tippy actually knew each other before Tippy started working at Dio's mansion. If you're one of my mutuals that have seen me selfship with Hol Horse pre transition, here's what happened in the Sapphire Heartverse:

Hol Horse, The Pillarmen, Ghiaccio, and Giorno were all of the random few in the world selected to have their personal lives scrambled. No particular reason aside from the evil universe destroying stand user testing out their abilities.

Hol Horse was young again, shrugged it off, but realized that a lot of the stuff he learned to do with his stand is slipping his mind. Now he has to relearn a lot of techniques all over again.

The Pillarmen aside from Wamuu, are all dazed and confused. Kars is kind of delusional and thinks he's a famous model/actor. Esidisi tries to be supportive of his family, he can hardly remember what they are supposed to do in the first place. Wamuu remembers almost everything, but decides to keep quiet. Santana is... Well... Uh... He's trying his best 😭

Ghiaccio and most of La Squadra came back to life, said "fuck it" and they sell food and clothes as a day job while running crimes at night.

Giorno is slightly upset because he lost his requiem powers. But he's still going strong.

ANYWAY

Hol Horse made a few online friends, Tippy being one of them. He knew Tippy pre transition... He would call Tippy, "Li'l filly" all the time. When Tippy made the big announcement that he's transgender and will now go with he/him pronouns and other masculine terms, Hol Horse was accepting the best as he could. Every now and then Hol Horse would slip up, so he started calling him "Li'l fella."

I might put that in the story where Hol and Tip are surprised to see each other in real life again. Hol Horse goes,"You're looking wonderful as ever, li'l fill- er li'l fella!"

Most people, Dio included, already know Tippy is trans. Vanilla is kind of oblivious though. One day they're all in Dio's pool or something, Vanilla gets worried and sees scars on Tippy's chest. Ice doesn't want to draw attention to it and he doesn't want anyone to say anything. He's giving dirty looks to the others who he thinks might say anything, which confuses everyone. They think he's just in another one of his moods.

That night, Vanilla really wants to ask what those scars are from because they look too identical. He's a little worried that Tippy might get upset, so they both chat a little in Vanilla's bedroom like usual. Ice finally asks, with a little hesitation. Tippy smiles and answers. Vanilla has a few other questions, some that make him blush a little. Tippy answers all of his questions politely. Ice feels relieved that those are scars that Tippy actually wanted rather than him getting hurt.

Vanilla still very much sees Tippy as a man, albeit a small one, but a man nonetheless. He is not bothered by it at all, more relieved and happy for Tippy to become who he's meant to be. This doesn't change anything other than Vanilla being more informed about something he was curious about.

So pretty much, Hol Horse slips and may accidentally call Tippy "Li'l filly" but saves himself with "Li'l fella"

Vanilla is very protective of Tippy and also very accepting and happy for him.

[romeulusroy]

Howdy!✨✨ Congratulations on 5k! You are literally one of the most talented writers I follow! Ilysm never change!💕

Alrighty, I was hoping for a male ship from Marvel? I'm nonbinary(they/them), I dye my hair frequently but currently it's black and short. Think like a shaggy grown out buzzcut. I have hazel eyes, a small nose and I'm 5'1. I'm a Gemini, an INTP, and a Hufflepuff. I have anxiety so I'm pretty quiet and nervous in public or around people I don't know but around my close friends I'm extremely outgoing. My friends say I'm the scariest in the friend group but I don't believe them lmao. I'm fairly confident that I'm autistic and I'm working towards getting a diagnosis. I'm not really the dating type but I suppose my type would be smart people who can make me laugh. Ive been wearing glasses since grade 7 and my eyesight keeps getting worse. I think my favorite feature would probably be my hair. If my hair looks nice I feel nice. I have this big birthmark that's right under my belly button and for as long as I can remember I've hated it but its whatever. My taste in music is honestly all over the place. Most of the music on my playlists come from wildly random artists that i don't even know the name of. But for the most part Id say Ajr, Abba, Huey Lewis, Billy Joel, anything 70's and 80's, and random Tiktok songs I take a liking to. My favorite author is Gordan Korman and I probably read 10 or so of his books in a year and a half which doesn't sound like a lot but it's an achievement in my books. Im in band and I play the clarinet. I wanted to play the saxophone because my mom played it but my 6th grade band teacher just gave me a clarinet and ive loved it ever since. (Would still love to play the sax tho) I'm in drama and id probably be an actor if I could do it without the fame. The only sports I actually enjoy are soccer and volleyball. But I don't even play them properly, I only play them in gym. Im planning on going into graphic design when I graduate. I love all things computers and technology, and I love to draw and being able to combine those two thing is amazing. My current favorite movies are Dead Poets Society, Mamma Mia, Spiderman into the Spider verse, Now You See Me, and Pride and Prejudice. I also really love nature documentarys, specifically ocean ones. I love the ocean alot, its probably one of my favorite topics. I really like deep sea creatures.

I can't really think of anything more. I hope this is enough lmao. I have a really weird perception of myself so when I have to describe myself I take a really long time. Also I really hope I'm not late with this. I know its the last day for ships. Ahhh that would be embarassing. You are literally the coolest. Thanks so much and have an awesome day/night!💕💕 lots of love!✨

What trope are you? Opposites Attract 💕

Your friends would describe you as scary. Peter's friends would say he's about as scary as a baby deer learning to walk. You love to read. Peter's more of the skimming and hoping for the best type. All the clubs you're part of, he had to quit because of Spiderman. You and Peter are part of different social circles. Sure, you know of him, much like the rest of the kids in your class, but you don't really know him. Not that well, at least. He's nice, nice to everyone, and that's good enough in your book. He doesn't cause trouble, he's not one of the mean kids or the ones who think High School is their whole lives. He doesn't make waves or cause trouble. You see him and Ned goofing off at lunch or in the hall, but other than that you don't really see him. And then you become lab partners.

Though Peter and Ned tried to have all the same classes, their labs got mixed up. You didn't realize you were the only ones without a partner until the teacher put you together. He was all smiles, offering jokes along the way. It wasn't the worst class you'd ever had. When you realized you'd be partners for the semester you were secretly grateful. You and Peter are both smart students. You know whatever group work you do, it won't be up to you to do it all. Through the school year, despite your many differences, you become friends. He always compliments your hair and teases you about the music you listen to. Aunt May has shown him similar movies and he may, or may not, know every word to every song in Mama Mia! You talk about your shared love of science and technology, too. You see more of him everywhere and you're happy about that. He's always willing to offer help when you're carrying too many books and of course tries to read things with your glasses on. When he's not in school, for reasons that always sound a little too detailed, you find yourself missing him. . . .

Peter doesn't realize it til the last weeks of the semester that your classes change, that he won't see you almost every day. He starts to panic, hating the idea of not seeing you anymore. Seeing you makes his days better and brighter. He loves to make you laugh with the worst jokes he can come up with. He adores how excited you get telling him about all the sea creatures you love to learn about. He never realized how you went from strangers to friends, and never wants to go back to that. You and Peter start hanging out more outside of school, beyond the homework and study groups. You spend hours watching movies and talking. You've both got big plans for the future. He doesn't want to ruin the friendship you have, bit he can't get you out of his head. If he doesn't tell you how he feels, he fears he'll never work up the courage again!

~ I hope you like it my love!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

[bearpillowmonster]

Neo: The World Ends With You

I'm invested in the original game and its characters, I'm invested in this game and its characters. I've had a lot of time for the original game to marinate and I can say that I enjoy pretty much every character and their arc and while I don't exactly feel the same with this one, that's not disappointing to me and this was my most anticipated game of 2021 so I mean that. This is a sequel, I expected as much and it didn't let me down, it's even better than I thought.

This is a NONSPOILER review because I think it's best experienced by actually experiencing it so I'll keep a lot of character, story, and even gameplay details out other than how the very VERY beginning of the game starts out with Rindo and Fret.

Let me give credit where credit is due, Rindo is voiced by Paul Castro Jr. who is a new voice actor and I was honestly impressed by his voice more than anyone else in the game, I love his voice and while Rindo has some pretty big shoes to fill as the main, I think he does it. Rindo seems to act pretty accordingly to the situation he's put in. He's not as edgy as Neku but he has enough push to him to where he would be considered the "negative" of the group but I would rather call it "rational" because he brings up some valid points, stuff that I myself was asking. Putting yourself in his shoes, that seems pretty accurate.

Fret on the other hand is a bit of the opposite, an optimist if you will. He's not really a "bad" character, just in comparison to the others, he's not my favorite. I think that there needs to be someone in his position who tries to uplift the team, but he's just a little annoying about it sometimes. Also get ready to hear "Galaxy Brain, ACTIVATE!!" literally hundreds of times, as much as he talks, you'd think he'd add more variety.

IMPROVEMENTS:

I'm not going to complain about certain gameplay elements or limitations that carried over from the last game except one. The camera. It's fixed to where you have no control over it in the city areas and therefore can't get a proper look at everything, whether that works in its favor, I'm not sure because you get used to it but it's just a small peeve you start out with.

The combat is pretty loyal to the first game which is surprising. I personally didn't like the original gameplay because it was so limited on the DS, a lot of room for error, but having it on console expands the system and lets you use buttons rather than mashing a touch screen, improving on almost, if not all, gameplay fronts. However, because it's based on a game from 2007, the system may seem a little outdated to some, it's really up to you, it made a fan out of me, making it more fun.

I played the original in bites, not because of lack of enjoyment but because I felt like it was a game I could only get into for so long at a time but with this game it's the complete opposite. Maybe it was the DS hardware that hampered the original but I say it's a decent success on this game's part. I also felt that Persona 5 seemed a bit formulaic in its story context and gameplay layout with each castle but this game, while having patterns, it changes before you get the chance to really catch on. I could predict P5 but I couldn't predict this, each day was a mystery, I knew you'd fight people but I didn't always know who or when which is crazy considering that P5 had all the choices!

A small improvement that I'll suggest for combat is having short rhythm based moves or even QTEs, like how in the original Shiki had the directional pad moves which were annoying but still varied from the rest of the gameplay. There are definitely new things that you can do, but there are a few aspects worth complaining about. You can unlock certain abilities and once you enable them, you can't disable them. The only one that it personally applies with is the ability to enable individual health bars for enemies, rather than an overall one. Which sounds good but-

I personally don't like that it's always floating above their heads, if it was on the side screen, that'd be one thing but constantly above their heads? No deal. I actually had to go back and load up an old save to get rid of it. But with unlocking certain abilities comes with quality of life aspects so if you're not in love with the gameplay at first, give it a little bit because you might be able to unlock whatever piece you're missing.

There's also "soundsurfing" that adds to your groove meter that you can use when running around and it said that you press (in my case "X" on PS4) to the beat of the song which is a cool concept but it really isn't clear how to use it because I try matching the beat and I get nothing and have more success just button mashing. The groove meter can drop when it's not supposed to, like when you literally can't attack during the buffering of a special or switching between battles in a chain (The "Get Ready" screen) And if you're in a proper boss battle, you HAVE to fight, it's like a trainer battle in Pokémon which is especially annoying when you accidentally press "retry". It has no reason to be there when I already know that I'm not prepared for the boss and can't back out.

Do the trailers spoil it?

Originally, I only saw the first and or second trailer and knew I wanted it so there was no reason to see any more but it was kind of overwhelming with all the characters they were showing off in just a single trailer. I don't think they needed to go that far but I understand why they did. I understand why they showed a lot of things that they did but I think it's a bit easier to SWALLOW when it's introduced in-game. I even found myself doing all the side-quests and being engaged in the side-stuff in-game. But I knew about people pointing out spoilers so after I finished it, I went back and looked at the other trailers and OH BOY. The final trailer shows some stuff and I'm SO glad I didn't watch it. They straight up show some out of context death scenes as well as different alliances and betrayals, not to mention parts of the freaking ending. The launch trailer is no better, it's just like that trailer but cut down. You may not have context but you can draw some hefty conclusions and that alone makes me question, why? I'm not sure if there are many reveals that they DIDN'T tease, it's like they went out of their way to hit every single one. Whether it's Square or Nintendo, they need to figure out how to cut a trailer, heck, hire me, I at least have the editing skills and know what's interesting enough to show and what's too spoilery not to show, come on!

Is it newcomer friendly?

I heard a lot of things like "it drops you in without mercy so pay very close attention" (in terms of story, that is) so only people who played the original game will be able to get it. But I beg to differ, I think it does a pretty good job of filling you in while putting you in the shoes of a new player (both in the game and out) AND keeping the mystery of whatever happened since the last game coming in small pieces. Most of the dialogue text boxes are voice acted so it's not really a slog to read. To prove my point further, the premise starts out very similar so it should be easy to clue in what exactly happened in the last game. Of course you're going to get more enjoyment out of it if you played the original but I don't think you'd be totally lost if you started with this one and played to right before the ending because then it kinda has to do stuff without preface, so you're going to be confused by much of the emotional weight that it carries. But it still gives you plenty of time to catch up on the original, whether through the game, videos, or lore, this game has you ask the questions, so fill in the blank. It has a nice length to it so you'll have until the ending to figure it out. Also, Final Remix teased stuff that this game makes clarity on but I wouldn't call FR mandatory. (Except maybe no numbers on the hand? Maybe even I missed something there.)

[rainbowoftamaran]

Check out my rainbow of friends!

"So, yes, I made all these awesome friends, and I realized that I have a full rainbow! Obviously, that's really amazing and perfect and I just have to show it to anyone who cares!

Nisha - @chainxdancer - is just really cool! She's strong and can fight and she's... I forgot what exactly she is but she's not human and has a tail and horns and she doesn't mind sharing her money or food with me, and if things go as planned I might be able to join her on her adventures soon to earn my own money!

Moonshot - @warriorfortamaran - uh... look. I needed to fill the orange slot, and I do know him. He's a meanie though, typical tamaranean with a side of extra-grumpy. Best you avoid him.

Yuko - @rosecoloredmuses - was so very nice to me! Despite having quite clearly caught me attempting to steal from her, she offered me some of her candies, and oh are those great! Definitely worth our encounter! We didn't have that much time together, since she had to go soon enough, but, it was really cool to meet her and I do consider us friends after this - I mean, you don't give non-friends just free food, right? - and just, I love her sweets and am absolutely convinced that she's a great person to meet!

Sirise - @siriseen - and I met on some other planet. It was really nice to have company during that exploration, and she knows so much! She's also really good at medicine and these things, so like, definitely someone that I'm glad to know! Still not quite sure what that Starfleet is that she belongs to, but, yeah, it's been really fun with her and I do hope that we'll meet again!

Minato - @dxfiedfxte - actually is not dyeing his hair, as he told me! I never thought humans had such a variety in hair-color! It does seem to be a unique thing for him, too, so I probably thought right. It's very awesome to know someone else who has a rather unique hair-color of their species! He's also been really nice to me so far and it's fun to hang out with him!

Perrine - @flusenimkopf - has helped me before with giving that karrn'k Moonshot a bit of what he deserves, even before we got to know one another! She's also not human either, and I think she doesn't know all about where she's from just like how I don't! It's just really cool to hang out with her, and I'm glad we're having some things in common! I'm also very happy to have someone that I can complain about Moonshot to and do stuff to him together with, that's really something I needed.

So yeah, they are all really amazing and awesome to know, so I absolutely suggest that you consider enriching your life by knowing them, too!"

[[This all has been presented to you by Starlight, found on this blog, @rainbowoftamaran . Below the cut you can find some OOC-stuff like credits and the likes.]]

Hello! If you do reach the cut, thank you for checking the OOC blabber behind the post, too! I've been working on this thing for a little bit now. I'm not entirely happy with it, but content enough to post it, as some sort of promo I guess. Please feel no obligation to reblog this, whether you are in this or not, I just had to do something "for Starlight" upon realizing she had the full rainbow together. (Obviously, not saying that friends are something to collect, or anything ridiculous like that, but I'm hopeful that no one of you will understand this wrongly!)

Moonshot is my own blog, as is Starlight, you can find a link to my mainblog and to my other blogs on each of these blogs' pages.

I sorta-copied the rainbow-waterfall-thingie from a copyrighted picture on some of these websites. I didn't use and just erase the watermark, I only took it as example and created my own thing based on it. I do hope that I don't need to credit for that, then - though during my search I found on these pages also pics with watermarks of others so they probably are in no place to call me out for using their pic as base.

In the next paragraph you find info of the pictures, and a little message to each mun in smaller in brackets behind the stuff.

Nisha's pic is taken from here, which was a commission as you can read in the post I linked. (-- I would've liked to not cut her body off quite as early, but these pics were the first I found on your blog outside of that one in your about and liked for this thing, and since they weren't going any further than this I had to cut it there! I do hope you like my choice of picture here and aren't disappointed or something that I didn't show more of Nisha!) Moonshot's pic is an edit, like the 2 other pictures I have of him, of a picture from Touda from Shounen Onmyouji. Yuko's pic is taken from an official picture, as far as I know, simply made transparent. (-- I do hope the picture is one that you like to see of her!) Sirise's pic is an edit of a screenshot showing Poison Ivy from that recent Harley Quinn show. (-- I gotta add that I was like so lucky that you actually mentioned a FC for Sirise of all your muses when I asked you that "random" question! I really wanted to include her but kinda didn't really want to add one actor among anime/cartoon/drawn characters, and when you then mentioned Ivy and I found a fitting appearance, I was so happy to have found a way to include her without mixing RL and animated characters! This thing here is also the reason I made this edit in the first place, but it was cool that I could kinda ask for your opinion on it beforehand through our talks xD) Minato's pic is, as far as I know, from an official source, and again just made transparent so it worked for my thing. (-- I really really tried to find the pic you're having as background in your theme, it looks pretty cool and I was intending to use that, but I couldn't locate it anywhere! So I kept searching, I first had a different pic chosen where he's like, very light blue all over - not in skin or the likes but I mean hair and suit - but that was a little too one-color for me in the end so I chose this one even though I prefer a bit more color! I do hope it's a 'normal' outfit of his and that you like my choice!) Perrine's pic is from here, which is art of the mun of the blog. I wish I could draw so well! (-- Your art is amazing and I'm glad you were alright with someone using it for a thing as long as you still are mentioned!)

Starlight's pic too is an edit, of an official art thingie of Rika Jougasaki from iDOLM@STER (I hope I wrote that right). And yes, she's supposed to be sitting on that cloud.

So, yes, I think this is all I have to say to it! I'm very glad that y'all are interacting with my little rainbow here (and perhaps my other blogs too), you're very awesome and it's an honor and delight to be your mutual and interaction-partner! Thank you!

[watching-pictures-move]

Viddying the Nasties #37 | Possession (Zulawski, 1981)

This review contains spoilers.

Andrzej Zulawski's Possession is a movie I'd somewhat been dreading revisiting. When I'd seen it all those years back (on YouTube, split into two parts if I recall correctly, as the DVD had been hard to come by in those days), despite being greatly moved by the experience, I'd also found it an extremely exhausting film to sit through. It's a tortured divorce melodrama (among other things) that starts at 11 and only goes up from there. Lots of shouting and screaming, physical abuse, kicking around chairs and tables. The movie is not what I'd call an overtly pleasant experience. Watching it now (on a Blu-ray from Mondo Vision, a substantial upgrade from my original format), while I won't characterize my previous impressions as inaccurate, I was able to better appreciate how the movie modulates this tone, acclimatizing us to its fraught emotional space. The movie starts off in the realm of a normal, bitter breakup, with the husband having returned from a work trip only to learn that his wife is leaving him and struggling to make sense of it, his frustration and anger stemming as much from the fact of her dissolving their relationship as his inability to comprehend her motivations. It isn't really until the half hour mark that it asks us to dive off the deep end with it. The husband hits his wife in the middle of a fight, follows her onto the street as she tries to halfheartedly throw herself onto the path of a truck, which then drops its baggage in an almost comical bit of stuntwork, their squabble ended when the husband becomes surrounded by children playing soccer and joins in. Any one of these by itself is nothing out of the ordinary, but Zulawski assembles them into an off-kilter crescendo, and does away with any sense of normalcy for the rest of the runtime.

That this approach works as well as it does is largely thanks to Isabelle Adjani as Anna, the wife, who spends the aforementioned scene looking like a vampire in cat eye sunglasses and blood streaming down her grimacing mouth. She delivers perhaps the most bracingly physical performance I've seen in a movie, but again this is something I'd maybe underappreciated initially in terms of how finely tuned her choices are. An early scene where she fights with her husband has her manically cutting raw meat and shoving it into a grinder, as if to channel her frustrations into acceptable form of violence for women. When she takes an electric knife to her throat, she begins to spasm about like a farm animal during a botched slaughter, providing a further comment on her domestic situation. The film's most famous scene has her freak out in a subway tunnel, thrashing her limbs about chaotically but almost rhythmically, maybe like the contractions when goes into labour. Her character later describes this as a miscarriage, ejecting the side of her which is neat and orderly and "good". Adjani plays this other half as well, with a much more old fashioned hairdo (braided conservatively like a stereotypical schoolmarm), one which provides a much more tender maternal figure to the couple's son. Adjani is also well cast because of her emotive, saucer-like eyes, which she isn't afraid to point at the camera repeatedly, providing a genuine emotional grounding during both the quieter and more hysterical sections of the movie.

Her husband, Mark, is played by Sam Neill, who had been cast after the filmmakers had seen him in Gillian Armstrong's My Brilliant Career. To understand why Neill works so well, it helps to know that Sam Waterston had previously expressed interest in the role. Waterston, while a good actor, would have come off too fogeyish as the husband. Neill brings the appropriate edge and even sex appeal necessary for the material. And like in Jurassic Park, his best known role, he brings an inquisitive quality that keeps him close enough to our vantage point to give the narrative arc some grounding. The other major human character here is Heinz Bennent as Heinrich, a new age guru who happens to be having an affair with the wife. One on hand, this character represents the counterculture from Zulawski's homeland, which he had left after trouble from the authorities when making his last movie. On the other hand, Zulawski was drawing heavily from the bitter divorce he had just gone through, and directs a sizable fraction of the movie's contempt at this character, leading me to believe that his wife in fact left him for some new age buffoon. In one of the movie's funnier scenes, he has Heinrich confront Mark over Anna's disappearance and then go into a dumbassed trance while spouting new age nonsense and basically calling Mark a Nazi. This is the guy his wife left him for? This jackass? Mark sets him up by sending him to Anna, knowing full well he could be killed, but the potency of Mark's rage (and Zulawski's, by extension), as well as the ludicrousness of the Heinrich character, keep us from sympathizing with the latter too much. Zulawski has Heinrich die with his head in a toilet, a final flush by Mark serving as one last hilariously mean-spirited gesture of contempt.

Zulawski originally conceived the movie as having another major character, Anna's ex-husband, to be played by veteran actor and director Bernard Wicki, but after the first day of shooting with Wicki, he decided to drop the character entirely. (I suppose it depends on the personalities, but I wonder how actors react to being let go early from a project. Is it worse if it's on the first day? How about if you lead the filmmakers to realize they should do away with the character altogether? I only hope Wicki got paid.) It's not hard to see what purpose this character would have served, particularly in the way that Anna "upgrades" her lovers, having traded a much older man for the younger, sexier Mark, and then trying to replace him with an evolving monstrous fuck-squid (more on this later) that she was trying to nurture and reshape into the ideal partner. The only remnants of this character in the finished film is his young wife, who appears in the climax and his goaded by the "new" Mark (the final form of the fuck-squid) to shoot into the corpses of the real Mark and Anna. The character's proposed thematic purpose might have spelled out this moment's significance more clearly, but I'm not always convinced thematic clarity is preferable to how things move and feel, and the end product does not feel incomplete or incoherent, or at least not detrimentally so. The emotions make sense, even if the events onscreen are outside the norm. (My condolences to those of you who've been dumped for a monstrous fuck-squid.)

Having been conceived after his last project was quashed by authorities in Poland, there's undeniably a political element here, enhanced by the noticeable presence of the Berlin Wall, near which much of the film is situated. (At one point the camera looks out the window and sees the police from East Berlin staring back.) The realities of the Cold War figure heavily in the characters' lives, as it's suggested that Helen (the other Adjani) is from behind the Iron Curtain (she speak of readily identifiable evil, which could be interpreted as the visible presence of an authoritarian regime) and that Mark's work is in the field of intelligence, maybe even espionage. But the movie is less interested in pointing out political specifics than in the accompanying sense of repression and division, which plays heavily into the visual style. The movie often divides its frames to separate the characters, but rarely with any sense of symmetry, suggesting a sense of emotional chaos enhanced by the bruising mixture of wide angle lenses and handheld camerawork. When we're with Mark, the movie looks overcast, bluish grey, appropriately repressed at first, although Anna's presence throws his neat, fluorescently-lit apartment into disarray. Anna's love nest, situated in the Turkish district right beside the Wall is dilapidated and unkempt, which may have reflected the squalid realities of a hastily rented apartment in what I assume is a poorer part of town, but after having excised the orderly part of herself, it seems like an accurately messy reflection of her headspace.

Now back to the fuck-squid. It's hard to go into Possession this day and age completely blind, and even back when I first saw it, it came on my radar as the movie where "Isabelle Adjani fucks a squid". I have a lot of respect for Zulawski for delivering the goods on this front and for Adjani for throwing herself into this material, not because I'm some kind of sexual deviant who gets off on this stuff (although if you are, I'm not here to judge, it's a free country, just clear your browsing history after), but because modern arthouse cinema often defaults to a mode of cold, downplayed and too afraid to raise the audience's pulse (because apparently it's undignified to force a reaction out of the audience) and it's nice to see a movie serve what it says on the tin (this is one I'd have loved to see with an unsuspecting audience back in the day). Producer Marie Laure-Reyre notes that Zulawski was very hands on with the conception of the monster, drawing inspiration from gargoyles in Polish architecture, as if to further imbue political context into the proceedings. When seeing the end product, I can only assume Zulawski broke up with his wife at a seafood restaurant (I would hope he didn't react like Mark and throw around all the tables and chairs). Of course, the design of the monster means that the movie leans heavily into body horror, and its inclusion on the Video Nasty list in the UK and its release in the US in a heavily-trimmed 81-minute version emphasizing these elements likely contributed to its psychotronic reputation early on. (I am still interested in seeking out this cut, as I can't imagine the loss of 40 whole minutes wouldn't substantially alter the film's character.) It flirts with other genres as well. Certain scenes have a clear slapstick quality. Some of these involve Heinrich, the ever-reliable target of the film's ridicule, but there is also Margit Cartensen, playing Anna's friend and Mark-hater Marge, falling on her ass like a Three Stooges bit. And there's the climax, parodying action movies with its woozy cocktail of car chase, shootout and explosions, which leads a headlong rush into the film's apocalyptic final moments.

[allforhader]

Forever Yours

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Requested by: @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge

[Y/M/N - middle name]

Y/N stood on a little platform in front of the mirror admiring herself in her wedding dress. She loved the long sleeve with the lace a-line dress. Her smile hasn’t left her face since she started getting ready for her and Bill’s big day. Y/N stepped down from the platform once she heard the door open, expecting her mother but no one came in.

“Yes?”

“Sorry! I just didn’t want to see you before yknow”

This man...

Y/N smiles walking over and closing the door a bit more so Bill doesn’t sneak in a look.

“Did you need something, love?”

“We didn’t see each other this morning because your mother already kidnapped you before I say good morning.” Bill smiles looking at the crack of the door. “I wanted to hear your voice”

“Well aren’t you cute” Y/N smiles looking down at his shadow before holding her hand out.

Bill smiles taking her hand into his enjoying the small moment, minutes before the ceremony.

“I love you Mr. William Thomas Hader Junior”

“I love you so much more soon to be Mrs. William Thomas Hader Junior” Bill couldn’t stop smiling feeling her squeeze his hand.

“What are you doing!”

Bill turns seeing his future mother in law along with his own mother.

“You’re not supposed to see the bride yet!”

“Why are you even by her door!”

Y/N laughs letting go of Bill’s hand as he quickly makes his way out of there before facing the wrath of the mothers. His mother scoffs when they finally arrive to Y/N’s room.

“That boy was about to spoil the moment”

“Oh but we know damn well that Y/N wouldn’t let that happen”

“You know me well mom” Y/N opens the door once she knew Bill was completely gone.

“Oh my god”

“Look at her!”

“Absolutely stunning”

“You two better come in before the love of my life tries to sneak a peek” Y/N laughs letting them in to help her with the finishing touches.

The time came as Y/N stood in front of the entrance feeling her heart race. She was excited. Nervous. But she continued to smile and she couldn’t wait any longer.

“Are you ready pumpkin?” Y/N’s dad smiles admiring his little girl. Can’t believe today is her big day. Of course the man is already crying. “He’s a very lucky man”

“I know dad” Y/N smiles hugging her dad before hearing the music start to play.

No other love can warm my heart

Bill looks up when the guests stood to their feet. He instantly started tearing up at the sight of Y/N in her wedding dress. The closer she got the more he started to cry.

Now that I've known the comfort of your arms

“Oh baby”

“Sorry..” Bill laughs wiping away his tears as Y/N was handed off by her father. “You’re just so gorgeous. God.” He smiles as she hands her bouquet to her maid of honor before taking his face into her hands.

No other love.

“I love you so much” Y/N smiles feeling the tears start to form for herself. Bill instantly wraps his arms around her waist bringing her close.

“I love you so much more”

Oh the sweet contentment that I find with you

“Now for the vows, Bill?”

“Well. Can I just start by saying that...you are the most beautiful woman on this planet and you’ve made me the luckiest man alive by saying yes that night I asked you to marry me. You are the best thing to wake up in the morning...the sun shining in and waking up to that gorgeous smile on your face. Always knowing the right words to tell a person in need of anything, putting everyone’s needs before yours, taking in everything instead of just the vague picture, everything you do amazes me. I love you. I love you to the moon and back. I’ll love you forever and no one will ever stop me from reminding you every day of how beautiful, talented, kind hearted, and god there’s a million amazing things that describe the stunning woman in front of me that I’ll remind you of every single one. I’ll hold you like my life depends on it...because it does. I never want to let go of you because you’re my universe. You’re my everything...”

every time

Every time.

Y/N was balling at that point as Bill carefully wipes away her tears trying to avoid smudging her make up, even though she doesn’t need it.

“Now your vows Y/N”

No other lips could want you more

“God...where do I start? When we met I was just a PA on The Skeleton Twins...no one really talked to me unless they wanted something. But then you did. You talked to me like there was nothing to worry about and that just made me feel great. Special. You were my best friend for the longest time and I saw you grow into this incredible actor, then director, that it really just made me realize how much I love you. You’re a very caring, tender hearted man that...who wouldn’t fall in love you with at first sight? You make life worth living. You supported me when I wanted to become a writer, held me on my off days, and made sure I was okay even when I was perfectly fine. I love coming home to the man I love and dedicate my whole life to. You’re the light of my life Bill Hader and I don’t want anything or anyone to change that”

The two haven’t stopped crying since hearing each other’s vows. Bill couldn’t wait as he kisses his bride making the few guests including Y/N to laugh a bit. She gently pushes him away.

“You have to say I do before you do such an act” Y/N smiles feeling Bill bring her close happily waiting.

“Do you Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N take William Thomas Hader Jr. to be your husband?”

“I do”

“And do you William Thomas Hader Jr. do you take Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N to be your wife?”

“God of course I do”

For I was born to glory in your kiss.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The ordain smiles. “You May now kiss the bride”

Instantly, Bill presses his lips against Y/N’s as she snakes her arms around his neck bringing him closer to her. The guests couldn’t stop cheering for the two as they are in their own little world for a moment.

Forever yours

I was blessed with love to love you

Bill hasn’t let go of Y/N’s hand since the ceremony. He kept her close every chance he got and whenever she let go to talk to a few, he would simply watch from afar. He loves her. Loves her with all of his heart. Knowing damn well that he’s not going anywhere.

“Dare I say we call it a night?” Bill smiles to his wife as the reception was drawing to a close.

“Shall we?” Y/N smiles looking up at Bill as he captures her lips with his, kissing her lovingly. “I’ll take that as a yes”

Til the stars burn out above you

When the two made it to their hotel room at the end of a wonderful night, Bill hasn’t moved his gaze from Y/N. Her smile always being breath taking and it hasn’t gone away even for a second from this entire day. Something he truly can’t get enough of.

“I love you”

“I love you more Mr. Hader”

“Oh, Mrs. Hader. I love you more than life itself” Bill smiles wrapping his arms around her waist as she brought the two closer to each other.

Til the moon is but a silver shell

“I don’t want this night to end...”

“It doesn’t have to” He smiles helping her out of her heels before taking his phone out for a moment to put on a song. “May I have this dance?”

“You shall” Y/N smiles taking his hand as he brought her close once again.

No other love, let no other love

Know the wonder of your spell

The two swayed to the music as Y/N rests her head on Bill’s chest. Enjoying the never ending moment, of them dancing like there’s nothing around them.

“Bill?”

“Hm?”

“Are you happy?”

“Always”

“Good, so am I”

He spun her for a second pulling her back in, feeling her hands rest on the back of his neck. Her eyes locked with his. Her perfect smile always warming his heart. His embrace always making her feel safe.

Perfect

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls -- Review

It's that time of the year again where I put myself through the torture of enduring this show. Watching this show is like going on an endurance run. You drag your feet when you first start, when you get acclimated to the level of exercise, you think "hey, this isn't too bad" and then by the end, it's just pain...but also a sense of pride that you made it through. That's been my experience with the show, anyway. And it's basically how I felt about Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

We are at last embarking upon the final episodes of this show and if this episode is what's going to set the tone for the remaining episodes, then I'm glad it's the final episodes because...well, this episode wasn't great and is a perfect example of what I won't miss about Shadowhunters. Bland and cringey dialogue, more characters than it knows what to do with, and too much jumping across plot points. There are individual moments in the episode I enjoyed but overall, this isn't an episode I loved.

The Loss of the Mary Sue

I'm not entirely certain of the timeline in this episode. The episode never specifies on exactly how many days have passed since the 3A finale but I'm going to estimate about a week or so. Everyone believes Clary died in the explosion caused by Lillith attacking Simon.

The episode opens with Jace, Izzy, and Alec chasing after a downworlder and Jace makes some very shoddy decisions in this fight that lets you see just how reckless he's become in the wake of Clary's "death". We then get a montage of everyone missing Clary and the more significant one is Jace, that's the one they spent the most amount of time on. He's basically walking through Clary's room remembering all the times he spent with Clary...so basically three memories. Another classic example of what I've always been talking about when it comes to the adaptation changes. Clary and Jace have barely spent any amount of time together, even less actually dating and I'm supposed to believe that they're each other's one true love...not going to happen because the show didn't develop it at all. There's a moment in the montage where Jace starts looking at Clary's drawings and getting really emotional about it and I felt nothing because Jace has never been shown to take any sort of interest in Clary's artwork before. In fact, if it weren't for that one scene in 3A, I wouldn't even have known that Clary was still drawing. By the show deviating from the books in the way they did, Clace had less development but yet the show still wants to continue the aspect of Clace being hopelessly in love from the books. You can't make a significant change from the source material and then pages down the line expect to pick up exactly where you left off. By making the change, you changed the entire context of the relationship so now the entire story has to change in order to fit that new narrative. Sadly, the Shadowhunters writers have not figured that out yet and continue to make that same mistake...or they're lazy, it could be that, too. Jace eventually gets so depressed that it's implied that he's contemplating suicide but Izzy is able to talk to him and get him to think. And then she just leaves him after making him promise he won’t go through with it. If anyone's wondering, if you catch someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Particularly in a dark room. Being in a dark enclosed space is not the kind of place that typically sends out positive energy. But I suppose I can cut Izzy a little bit of a break. It's entirely possible the Shadowhunter world doesn't really understand how to help someone who's experiencing suicidal thoughts. They certainly didn’t help out Jace’s mother. Alec also confronts Jace about this in probably the only believable scene in this entire episode. Seriously, I've never been a Jalec shipper but I totally understand why people ship them. Matt and Dom are probably the only actors who actually have any chemistry with each other. But Alec tells Jace he's doing the memory of Clary a disservice and that if Jace were to die, it would destroy him as well. In other words, Jace isn't the only one who's going to be affected by this decision. Jace eventually is called by Luke who for some reason appears to be living in a motel room. I don't know why but whatever. Luke doesn't believe Clary is actually dead and he tries to convince Jace through some really weird conspiracy theory that probably even flat-earthers would find difficult to believe. But hey, if it leads to them finding Clary, I'll go with it. And I understand why Luke is unable to accept even the possibility that Clary might be gone for good. He can't think that about someone who he basically views as his daughter and the last connection he has to Jocelyn. Luke gives the evidence to Jace and tells Jace to at least check it out.

Simon, understandably, is also having a difficult time with all this. And Maia returns to give him emotional support despite leaving for a very particular and totally understandable reason but Simon needs her so of course she comes back for him. It's not like Maia exists for anything else but for Simon's character arc. Both Simon and Izzy kind of passive-aggressively shame Maia about leaving. And I'm particualrly disappointed in Izzy telling Maia about what happened to Simon's family as that's a very deeply personal issue and Simon should've been the one to tell her. It wasn't Izzy's secret to tell. I get that they were trying to use that scene to exposit information to the audience but there were better ways of doing that. Hell, it could've just been Izzy making an off-handed comment about Simon. Maia could've been talking to Izzy about how badly Simon is doing with the Clary situation and Izzy could've been all, "especially with what happened with his family" and Maia could've been shocked and Izzy could've been flabbergasted because she didn't know Maia didn't know. That would've been a much better way for the situation to be handled. But I'm not too pleased with Izzy saying in response to Maia not knowing, "well how could you? you weren't around." Just the insinuation that Maia should stay around and support her man and not go off and get in the right head space to properly heal herself after dealing with the re-emergence of her abuser. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from Izzy seeing as she, herself, also only exists to give support the other characters. I think these passive aggressive intonations of shaming Maia are really horrible and shame on the writer. Maia, Izzy, and Simon decide to work together to find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain from Simon's forehead. They talk to Raphael who now works at a soup kitchen in Detroit and Raphael tells them the tale of some dude chilling in the sewers of NYC who could possibly be the oldest vampire alive and may have answers to the removal of the Mark of Cain. Maia decides not to help Simon on this as its a bad idea for a werewolf and a vampire to meet and I almost forgot that was a thing, the show so rarely does anything with the vampire vs werewolf dynamic. But of course Maia has to back off to give room for Sizzy. I’m really not a big fan of Sizzy being explored here as everything that made Sizzy fun and interesting in the books has been completely stripped from the show. I’d much prefer Saia on the show. But really, I just want Maia and Izzy to have their own character arc, though that doesn’t revolve around shipping. 

The Malec B-Plot

We have a Malec B-plot that I found just completely unnecessary wherein Iris returns and kidnaps Magnus because she wants to get Madzie back. She falls for the most obvious trap in the world and hopefully we never see Iris again. What it does for Magnus's story works I guess but I just found it to be a really obtrusive subplot that didn’t fit at all with the episode. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I've been away from the show for a year so I can see the the show a little more clearly now but the Malec chemistry is no longer working for me. Maybe it's just that I've always paid more attention to how alarmingly unequal their relationship is but I'm looking at the body language they're giving off and its not the kind of body language you would expect from lovers. They're so stiff around each other and not relaxed at all.

In fact, there's a line in this episode where Malec has just put Madzie to bed as they're baby-sitting her and Alec kisses Magnus and Magnus tells him to stop because they have a child in the apartment currently. Alec kind of scoffs because it's just a kiss and Magnus is all, "You know how we get." And I'm like, "Do we really, though?" There's plenty of scenes of them talking and I can buy them as friends with that but lovers? I’m having a difficult time actually buying that now. Like I said before, the Jalec scene was way more believable than any Malec scene in this episode.

But Magnus decides he doesn't want to feel helpess ever again so he decides he needs to learn how to fight. Honestly, I was surprised to learn that this is implying he doesn't even seem to really have any basic self-defense capabilities. The way he was swinging the sword earlier in this episode lead to me to believe otherwise. Plus, Harry Shum Jr is a pretty buff dude but I guess maybe Magnus lifts weights and that’s it. Alec decides to help him out on this venture, though.

Siblings Reunited

We find out that Clary is indeed not dead and that Jonathon's back. I'll be real, here. It's kind of hard to feel sad for Jace or Simon or Luke or anyone really regarding the "death" of Clary, considering this entire episode is interspliced with moments of Clary being very much alive. Honestly, I think this episode would've functioned better if it was just about showing everyone going through all the different stages of grief regarding Clary and at the end of the episode when they've hit the acceptance stage, that's when we see Clary wake up in the apartment with Jonathon. But whatever. The show decided not to go that route so we have to make do with what we got. Clary wakes up and looking pretty damn fantastic for someone who's been asleep for days. Not a strand of hair out of place, make-up is flawless, and not a wrinkle to be found on her clothing. In fact, I think they're in even better condition than they were when Clary initially had to put them on. Clary also isn't even the slightest bit groggy, she knows exactly where she's at and everything. Clary does comas well. Jonathon tells Clary that it is indeed him, her big brother and that before Lillith was sent to hell she sent them away to Siberia, apparently. Clary plays nice for a little bit with Jonathon but decides to chance out in the cold of Siberia. It's nice to see that in her state of unconsciousness her muscles didn't atrophy from lack of movement or deteriorate from lack of food. But Clary fails in her escape, Jonathon finds her and brings her back. Clary tries to stab him with a knife but they both find out that what happens to one person will also happen to the other. So yeah, we're full in City of Lost Souls plot here which is ironically the title of this episode. Shadowhunters has never been all that subtle. This new actor for Jonathon is going to take some getting used to. Will Tudor did a phenomenal job with him so its difficult to see this new guy as Jonathon. But it also is difficult to take Clary's anger and hatred of Jonathon seriously when you think about all that Jonathon's really done on the show is kill a shadowhunter Clary had never met before and then injured Max and Max swiftly recovered. Clary is all about painting him as the worst possible being and indeed, in the books, he is but here, while he may be a bad guy who's done really bad things, I don't know if its deserving of that level of hatred. We haven't exactly seen a lot of his horrifying dastardly deeds. Another example of making a change and then thinking you can still keep the same storyline at a later point in the story. I'm certainly not saying I wanted Max to die but story-telling wise, it would make the emotions Clary's feeling here a little more believable. But I'm actually really interested to see where this whole Jonathon and Clary plot goes. In the books, it's Jace that's put in this situation so it'll be interestig to see how the show tackles Clary being in this situation. I'm also wondering, because they seem to be trying to stay away from the incest vibes here, is Jonathon going to gain an unhealthy obsession with Jace instead of Clary? In the books, Clary was who Jonathon was creepily obsessed with. He was equating possession with love and viewed that Clary belonged to him in every way imaginable. So since the roles of Clary and Jace have been reversed here, will Jonathon's obsession now change from Clary to Jace? Probably not but it would've been interesting to see for sure. I mean, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way, right?

The Clave Acting Shady AF

The Clave is being super shady right now. They appear to be doing experiments on the incarcerated downworlders and all I can say is, "do we really need this?" And also, "Why is it being implied that Jia knows about this and is okay with this?" The interesting thing about Jia in the books was the fact that she was the first step in the leadership to help get rid of the more corrupt aspects of the Clave and instigating change. But I suppose it's per the norm for the show to make everyone but the main group a bad guy instead of morally grey. As I've said before, this show has no concept of subtlety. I can only imagine that this is leading into the part in City of Glass the show hasn't done yet wherein the alliance rune is going to be introduced but instead of using it to fight Valentine, they're going to use it to fight Jonathon. That's what these downworlder experiments seem to be leading into as it reminds me a lot of Valentine experimenting in the books. I'm sure there was 0 social commentary intended when writing this into the show, though...but I think its safe to say it's totally social commentary. The show isn't very subtle, once again.

But good news is it looks like Ollie is gone for good so yay! I am side-eying the show, though about that. What was the point of introducing her if you weren't going to do anything with her? I'd say they probably wasted about half of 3A with Ollie unnecessarily. But maybe if this show hadn't been cancelled, Ollie would've played a more significant role? Well anyway, at least some of the fat has been trimmed.

My biggest issue, as always, is the dialogue. The dialogue felt extremely one-note. It was almost like the writer made a flow chart of what they wanted to happen in this episode and was like, "crap! I guess my characters do need to speak, here's some lines to explain what's going on." The dialogue basically existed solely for the purpose of giving exposition but the real kicker is that it was really unnecessary. I could've had this episode on silent (and that might've even have made it an improvement) and I would've understood what was happening perfectly. The dialogue really didn't add anything to the experience, it just made the episode feel more awkward than it already was. And then there continues the trend of Shadowhunters treating their awesome plans as if they’re the most clever plans in the world when in actuality, the plan is beyond obvious and it was super cringey and awkward seeing Izzy being treated as this amazing strategist for making the obvious move. And the episode was already plenty awkward with the constant cutting. It's really difficult to enjoy any particular subplot going on in this show when we only spend maybe 30 seconds to a minute on any particular moment. I kind of wish this show structured their episodes more around themes as opposed to plot. Plot is temporary, plot is always changing but exploring themes through plot gives you more of an appreciation not only for the characters but the story, itself. While I didn't mind sequences in this episode, at the end of the day, it just kind of left me feeling empty. I also think the acting felt a little stilted as well. I wasn't a big fan of any of the performances given in this episode and whereas I've never thought anyone on this show was oscar-worthy for their performances in the past on this show, their performances have always been maybe a C+ to a B. But in this episode, it just didn't feel like any of the actors' hearts were in it. Now granted, that could be a side effect of the script because, as I've mentioned before, the script wasn't great. Or it could've been the directing. There's a lot of reasons for why acting can feel stilted and it very rarely has to do with the actor or actress being bad at acting.

I've made notes about how the dialogue and acting was stilted but those weren't the only things that were. The fight choreography and the blocking felt a little off as well. For starters, the fight choreography did not feel organic. It was strangely reminiscent of season 1 fight choreography. The constant jump cuts so you don't see too much of what's actually happening and just feeling like fight scenes move very slowly. Like the reaction times between sword swing to parry were very slow and it kept on taking me out of the moment. Then you also had moments where Alec and Izzy catch up with Jace in the sewer and everyone's staring at the seelie they're trying to capture for a good 5 seconds before the actual fight continues. And then there's just strange blocking choices where a character walks to a point in the room and then delivers their line but the walk to the new mark wasn’t organic and actually made the line feel more awkward.

I'd probably give this episode a C+. It was passable, with enjoyable moments but ultimately not something I have any desire to return to. There were cute moments (primarily Jalec and Madzie), but overall as an episode, not something to be too terribly impressed with. And yes, there were moments I did like. It’s not my fault the show just had more bad parts I felt compelled to talk about.

[verytamenow]

I don't get it. She's been all "no explanation just reputation" and she pulls this bs? Like I've been DYING over her "idgaf about the media" attitude ever since reputation was announced because we're not getting /anything/ from her, but I respected it because i thought "damn, she got so much hate by the media over the years, no wonder she's done with them" but then she just...?? So much for the "new era". It's not only team klossy who can't seem to get their shit together after all lmao

Funnily enough @princessandsunshine and I were just discussing this while I was bored at work.Note: the following is a truly reaching theory and you probably shouldn’t put much stock in it.reputation has meant we’ve all been focusing on the media and Taylor’s relationship with them as she addresses the narrative assigned to the name Taylor Swift. Even as we watch Taylor address the headlines of the last decade through lyrics and video, we tend to overlook another critical relationship Taylor has and might be clapping back at: her relationship with her label.

It’s been long known that Taylor isn’t the only one with access to her social media accounts. An infamous response of “but y'all cast Lena Dunham” to TaylorNation when the cast list for the Bad Blood music video was leaked pulled back the veil fully, and should have allowed the fandom to acknowledge not every like is Taylor herself. And yet in an era where Taylor has implied there will not be any interviews, more weight has been placed on them than ever as it remains Taylor’s only method of reaching out to us in a social and traditional media blackout.This leads to a few questions. Why the blackout in the first place? Who has the ultimate control? And is everyone on the same team?So far this era has seemed to have a clear path. Taylor reasserting her control of her story, acknowledging all that has been said through clever lyrics and film, and giving hints to the truth for those who care enough to look while saying nothing. “There will be no explanation, only reputation.” Earlier in a truly uncharacteristic move, likes were made from Taylor’s account not only acknowledging her supposed boyfriend, but blatantly confirming someone as the inspiration behind a song for the first time since a snarky 18 year old did an interview with Ellen, telling the story of the last track of her soon to be AOTY winning sophmore LP. The catch? Hours later gossip cop, the well known mouth piece of Tree, shot down any claims that Taylor and Joe Alwyn were in love. This lead to instant questions about what was the truth of the narrative.Cue Kristen and I coming up with a plausible but impossible to prove theory while I sat at my work desk, bored out of my mind. What if what we’re seeing is a battle for control of Taylor Swift™ between Taylor herself and her label.Taylor’s always had unique control for an artist. A benefit of joining a fledgling label her parents could afford to invest in even slightly, and shortly thereafter exploding to superstardom, becoming the crown jewel in their lineup. We’ve all heard the stories: Taylor fought for her first ever single against the advice of experienced label personnel. Taylor doesn’t work with cowriters who try and control her, instead preferring editors to help guide and hone her natural abilities as multiple writing partners have professed in interviews. Taylor is in control of her own touring and merchandise and has access to her social media in a time when many artists do not for reasons of maintaining an image and narrative. Taylor fired her prior PR consultant who had been with her and the label from the beginning and hired her own red haired not-monster outside of the label. Taylor is able to add tracks last minute after the album has been signed off as complete, even from the time of her second album. Her label gives her the time she needs and wants to produce an album, being kept in the dark until she feels it’s time. There are clearly benefits to being the biggest pop star in the world and biggest name on the label roster.But she is still signed to a label and not in complete control. Her fiddle payer was allegedly fired when she proved a threat to Taylor’s heterosexual all-American sweetheart image. She was advised Enchanted sent the wrong image, not signalling a change from adolescent fairytales to a young woman making her voice heard, and so it became Speak Now. She had to fight hard for 1989 to exist as a pop album. A team is known to have access to all her social media. Clearly Taylor isn’t the only one pulling the strings or having a say.So what happens when Taylor presents a plan her label doesn’t like?It’s been long claimed this is Taylor’s last album under her current contract with BMG, with rumored rights to a greatest hits album if they choose. So far there have been no headlines that Taylor has signed another album contract with them. Could this be the last album under the Big Machine label? Surely record companies would be willing to fight for the chance to sign Taylor Swift, an artist projected to sell over three million copies of her sixth album with zero traditional promotion, and offer lucrative terms. Add in a seeming shortage off two fucks to rub together, financial freedom on a scale few can imagine, and you seem to have an ideal situation if the long-rumored closeted pop star wanted to reveal the truth of her sexuality and partners.Big Machine, despite having Taylor Swift in their roster, is firmly rooted in country music and its conservative world. For all the freedom they give Taylor, that doesn’t mean a coming out is something they would support. So we’re left with a dilemma: a pop star wanting to come out with her contract about to expire and a label still pulling the strings for the album release and tour who may not approve. Could we be witnessing a battle between Taylor and her label for control?This era opened with an ending. Taylor wiped out her social media entirely. Twitter? Facebook? Instagram? Her website? Even MySpace? All blacked out and wiped clean of any past narrative. This was followed by a statement implying there would be no promotional interviews for this album. As it currently stands, it appears the only new information will be coming from two magazines available for preorder. This has two effects: Firstly it means the music can speak for itself. So far it has had a lot to say about the media and her so called relationships, along with Taylor herself and just maybe her label too. In only two tracks Taylor has addressed many parts of the public facets of her life. From the various criticisms of her mannerisms to veiled acknowledgements of so called feuds, there is little that even the first releases have not touched on.Second, it cuts off two possible avenues of image manipulation and narrative management. No media interviews cuts off any attempt to allow for questions and topics Taylor is done with and keeps her words from being misinterpreted. The lack of social media provides similar protection for whatever Taylor intends this era to be. After all if she isn’t using her social media then no one else with access can either to promote any other image than what she intends.There is one catch however. Taylor’s tumblr, while also wiped clean, is still in use. What seems to be a generous attempt to keep her fans feeling connected as we adjust to seeing and hearing less from Taylor than we are used to at the beginning of an era might have also become a battleground.More than one tumblr user has noticed the erratic behaviour of the last few days concerning Taylor’s likes. As mentioned previously, we have likes confirming her and Joe as an item and very much in love, reaching nearly a year as a couple and with the actor even confirmed as the inspiration behind the second track. Shortly thereafter we have Tree via Gossip Cop stating that Joe and Taylor are not “crazy in love” and stating no legitimate source is speaking on their relationship, possibly leaving the door open for a full denial of any such romance. It’s possible this is a case of dueling narratives, with parts of Taylor’s team under her label pushing the Jaylor (or jailer, if you will) relationship to keep a heterosexual image and delay or prevent a coming out while Tree, who works directly for Taylor, tries to do damage control.Additionally there was also the matter of there being a number of likes from Taylor’s account during Abigail’s wedding. If anyone expects Swifties to believe that during the wedding of her best friend of over ten years, Taylor decided to pull out her phone and start scrolling through Tumblr……well, we’re mostly not that dim. If this is a case of battle for control, it’s possible this was intentional. A reminder by Taylor that she’s not the only one with access. Perhaps there was a little more truth to the bird in a gilded cage suggested by her first music video of the era.It also draws into question another dueling narrative: PGB. Despite her frankly appalling judgement and tracking of Taylor’s every move she has been the recipient of remarkable attention from Taylor in last era and even now at the beginning of this one. This is quite the contrast to the “END PGB” hidden within the website code while blacked out and Taylor cutting the wing off her own plane in the video. This one user, the mouthpiece of the ultra conservative portion of Taylor’s fan base, seems to have hit the Swiftie lottery. Presents, a personal invite and backstage tour for the 1989 concert at MetLife, and an introduction to fellow scumbag Perez. Perhaps they too were tools used by the label to keep the bird in her cage?After all they seem to be supportive when Taylor stays on brand. However, the moment she removes herself from a certain path, they turn on her to tear her down and bring her back into line. I doubt it’s a coincidence two of the biggest voices of the “Taylor is the ultimate heterosexual” squad happened to get invited to the concert Karlie was attending. Especially when it was the first one after a fan speculated fight in London and featured the gayest speech given during the entire tour, featuring a public and heartfelt “I love you”. In the greatest irony, it was PGB herself who revealed Karlie was going to be there and Taylor was anxiously awaiting her arrival in the “I came straight from Rome” video. I can’t be the only one who remembers the whispers that she’d gotten in trouble for sharing it. But from who? Taylor has always encourage her fans to adore Karlie as much as she does and promote their close bond. Perhaps other parties weren’t as happy to see a reminder of how special Karlie is and to invite speculation as to why her little sister, who Tree should have had no interaction, with was comfortable enough to share a hug with her. More recently, PGB was very quick to reblog the post linking Joe to …Ready For It?, preventing Taylor from unliking it or burying it deeply enough to go unnoticed.While there may be some who would like to keep a certain bird caged and singing, the music video clearly shows she’s out now and judging by her place in the press lineup at the end of the video, she’s got her story to tell.According to one popular and seemingly plausible fan theory, each of the Taylors at the end of the music video represents a track on the album. The first track is represented by birdcage Taylor, who looks done at the end of the video in the face in the face of the pressline. …Ready For It?, the first track on the album, seems to again address her bearding and shade it (but the analysis of it is another post). It clearly defines the roles each of them are forced into and the intention of the bearding, keeping her jailed and tamed.Whether or not there’s any truth to this will depend on what’s to come in the future. Will Taylor speak about her label once the contract is up? I suspect we won’t know the truth of the matter until the album is out and the tour is booked to minimize the possibility of interference. If this is the case though, Big Machine is playing with fire. After all, if Taylor does not sign with them again, there’s nothing to stop Taylor from exposing them along with her sexuality. Firstly, it would it help build sympathy and understanding amongst the general public and her more conservative fans, dodging claims of her lying by giving them another target to blame. After all how could they blame Taylor when she wanted to be honest so badly but wasn’t allowed? Second, it would paint a target on them that might be hard to recover from. Like it or not, when Taylor speaks the world listens. Few who have gone up against her have come out without scars, where as Taylor is well practiced in rising up from the dead. After all, she does it all the time.

[literaphobe]

I think of so many ideas to create my own writing about Jake and Amy while I'm commuting to my college. I've never written any thing till now. Last time I tried writing, I forgot so many things that I thought of them while commuting. But still I tried and ended up creating a terrible thing bc I got distracted and the story went completely on random lines. I want tips on how to create and set borderline and how to remain with same flow and consistency to write. I love your content on A03!!!

Okay if you keep forgetting your ideas I would suggest you start writing them down— HAHA JK I don’t really have time for that the only thing I wrote down stuff for is drama club AU and even for that I just wrote vague stuff I’m on Plan #5 for drama club AU now and even then I haven’t exactly referred to it much it’s just an outline to make sure I’m on track

What you need to ask yourself when you start a fic is “why am I writing this fic?” And I don’t mean that in a “oh I just want to bring joy to people and show my love for this pairing :’)” way no I mean “what exactly is the appeal of this idea? what particular angle to this fic makes it striking to me, so much so that it has to be written?”

E.g. if you’re writing a college AU, it can’t JUST be about a college AU. If you’re drawing from personal experiences or concepts inspired from your life, you need to extract what the core of the idea is and focus on it. Like, how exactly do jake and Amy meet? What’s so important about it? OR, if you’re starting the story after they meet, then what particular incident is driving this story?

Imma use drama club AU as a case study, because it’s the biggest fic I have and I threw everything into it. See, for drama club AU it starts many years after Jake and Amy have already met. The important event that jumpstarts this story is the fact that they have to kiss on stage (I mean… duh doi that’s the literal description of the fic). An important thing to note is how whatever element you’re introducing (character A meeting character B, character A and B experiencing something new) changes things, how the equation is altered etc etc, what new situations they’re put into because of this

Try to start NOT by planning the plot, but by planning big events or tiny moments that you know you just HAVE to include in the story. Like, let’s say you’re writing a fic where two actors have to kiss on stage, and because they’re so weirdly good the first time they try it they start making out on a regular basis, whilst pretending that they’re just practicing kissing. A big event could be “them getting caught during a kissing practice”, or “them kissing in a public place for X reason and getting their picture taken”

lmao look at me straight up talking about drama club AU whilst pretending I’m not talking about drama club AU ANYWAY, after you’ve come up with the core events of your story, what you have to do is figure out how they get from point A to point B, then C, D, E, and so on.

A problem you might run into when thinking of ideas is being too generic. It is really important to ensure that your story has a unique angle to it so you can generate a plot. I’m not saying that that’s the case for whatever ideas you’re having, but you need to focus on something specific, or you’ll find your cup running dry. Thrust your characters into specific situations if you wanna get anywhere.

Also, since you’ve mentioned that you keep getting distracted, I suppose you probably face a problem that plagues many writers: having idea A in mind but as you’re writing it it turns to B and that somehow messes things up? Or some other variation of that. Anyway, my suggestion is that when you sit down and start writing, you should always have an end in mind. I.e. “A will challenge B to an arm wrestling match and that’s the cliffhanger of this chapter!” When you write, constantly keep in mind that THAT is where you need them to end up. However, let’s say, you make a spur of the moment decision to have characters A and B to leave the bar they’re at and start dancing in the snow. “Oh no! Now they can’t arm wrestle! This is a travesty!” - this is a very strange example of what could happen when you write, I often call it “writing myself into a corner” which is probably a normal way to say that I don’t know why I put inverted commas around that

A better example of this is: let’s say, you have this really angsty thing planned for your characters. Let’s say it’s all going great and character A and character B are very much in love. But then character B gets spooked because of event C and decides to break up with A. This is supposed to start a lot of angst because character A still loves B and is completely heartbroken. Anyway, you’re trying to get A to hate B yet still succumb to physical pleasures with B. But then oops! You get an idea for a joke and you write it in. Suddenly, A is a lot more nice to B and they’re joking around a lot more than you INTENDED. You no longer feel in control, how can you do this angst stuff if they’re being so fluffy??????

Should you stop? Should you backspace everything? This all depends. You need to think of your priorities, for the tone of the story at that point in time of the plot. Sometimes, whatever you wrote on a whim is ACTUALLY what would happen and is more in character than what you planned. Other times, you jumped the gun, and it’s much too early for character A and B to be interacting like this.

If you’re really adamant that character A and B MUST go through a certain interaction in a certain manner, you could always repurpose it for a future chapter and tweak it. It’ll all work out in the end, but sometimes certain ideas just won’t work with a certain fic, and there’s nothing you can do except to write another fic lol

I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point, I think this is bad advice, but the best and most important advice I can give you is to READ, and keep writing. Literally!! Like don’t stop!! Once you start writing, you might start to get more observant regarding the way other authors structure their stories, the way they play out certain events. You’ll absorb different styles and create your own style the more you study and PRACTICE. Not everyone starts out the same. Some people are actually super good at writing from the moment they start, they get a fantastic idea early on and BOOM BOOM BOOM they’re just a fantastic writer after their very first attempt! Woo hoo! Sadly, that’s hardly the case. Most writers SUCK when they first start. I did!! I truly look at old words and feel the urge to THROW UP

I used to use ~ as an actual form of punctuation, okay??? That’s BAD, and yet there were still people that liked my writing. But even if people hate your writing, that’s no reason to give up. YOU’LL hate your writing, but you will get better I promise you!!! We all improve at different rates, and the only way to write good stories is to start by writing a few truly horrendous ones first.

You got this!!!!!!!!!!

[missroxieanne-blog]

Dad.



All I had to do was type those three letters as the title and I am a puddle of tears. My relationship with my dad has always been confusing to me. And confusing is putting it lightly. I love him so much but I hate him so much all at the same time. I want to shake him and hit him until he stops being unresponsive to anything I do. I want to tell him how he damaged me and hurt me for years. I want him to know how it has fucked me up in ways I'm only now uncovering. There are so many questions I've always wanted to scream at him.

Why were you never there?

Why did you never help me?

Why did you only love me sometimes?

What did I do to push you away?

What about me makes it hard for you to love me?

Why is it so easy for you to love my sister, but not me?

Why can't you just talk to me?

Why did you let me hate myself?

Why am I not worth trying for?

Why are you SUCH a good actor?

When I was a little girl, my dad was my hero. I remember crying my heart out at the living room window as I watched him drive away for work. I loved spending time with him. I preferred his attention more than my mom. I always wanted him to like me so I tried to be his rough and tumble Tom boy. I rode motorcycles with him and boy... The joy I felt as he raced us all over our backyard on that rickety red motorcycle is something I've always chased. I helped him in the yard. I helped him fix things. I played computer games with him. Watched movies. I shared my music with him and the books I liked. I bonded with him over our love of animals. He was my best friend. And he spoiled me. He took an interest in the things I loved and he cultivated those interests. He bought me book after book on Egypt when I was obsessed with The Mummy when I was 8. He bought me countless art supplies and journals because he knew I loved to draw and write. I felt so lucky to have a dad like that and was excited to grow up with him.

I don't remember exactly when it happened. I suppose it happened slowly over time. When I hit puberty, things obviously changed. I was becoming a new me and was trying to navigate forming my own identity. Slowly, I noticed my dad slipping away from me. He talked to me less and less. Then he looked at me less and less. Then it was like I become invisible. I lost my existence in his eyes.

I tried so hard to get his attention. I left him letters begging him to talk to me. I got in trouble trying anything to get a reaction from him. It didn't matter when I stole a car and ran away with my boyfriend. Nor did it matter when I smoked pot in the house or popped ecstasy. It didn't make any difference how much sex I had while under the same roof. It never mattered how many times I snuck out, snuck boys or friends in, or skipped school. He never, ever acknowledged me. Not for any good I did, or any bad. I was invisible and I didn't know why.

Now, here and there he would randomly become the old dad I knew and loved. But he didn't stay that way for long. He would give me a glimpse of the love he had to offer and then he'd push me away again. It fucked me up. Really, truly fucked me up.

I sought out attention from boys I knew were bad for me simply because I needed any love I could grab. I needed to be looked at for once. The first time I took ecstasy, I sobbed in my best friends arms as I talked about how I wish my dad loved me. I had a horrible self image and I picked myself apart. I hated myself and was always self conscious of the things I said or did. I was so worried about people leaving me or being angry with me because I didn't want to become invisible to them too. I lost my voice because I did not feel important and because I was scared of my voice driving people away. I apologized constantly for just.... Being alive. He made me feel like I didn't matter. Nothing I did and nowhere I went would ever matter.

I never understood it. I don't think I ever will. I don't know why I was so hard to love. And I don't know why he still feels I am not worth the energy. It makes me angry. It makes me want to scream until I lose my breath. I just want to know why. What was going through his head while I was sobbing into my pillows a room away from his?

The last time I saw my dad was at my grandma's funeral. He didn't acknowledge me at her viewing, which in a way I was grateful for because I don't think I could've handled confronting him at that moment. The next day at her funeral, I was a fucking mess.

When they asked for those that wished to say goodbye to come forward before they closed her casket, I was the first one up there. I stood there and looked at her beautiful face and felt all the love she had for her family wrap around me. I held her hand and thought about how much I loved her and that's when the tears fell. I sobbed as I held her hand and my knees shook so much I thought I was going to collapse. But then I felt arms around me and I glanced up to see my dad crying quietly as he hugged me. I leaned into him briefly before retreating back to Jesse.

The next day, my dad left Utah to go back home to Washington. As I stood in the driveway with Jesse, my parents and my sisters, I waited for him to acknowledge me or hug me goodbye. He looked me in the eye and turned the other way. What the fuck does this all mean, dad? How am I supposed to analyze this? How the FUCK do you just walk away from your heart broken daughter? How do you not hug her?

How the fuck are you okay with doing this to me over and over again? And why am I still left with no answers?