#[ enjoy my broosh ]

[sladist]

i have done it . u can find me on @moonwayned tomorrow !!

[superman86to99]

Superman #82 (October 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The climax of this 19-part storyline, the entire "Death and Return of Superman" saga, and seven years of long-ass plotlines. And it only took this blog a mere six years and six months to get here! PREVIOUSLY: After Superman’s death, five different Supermen popped up to reclaim the mantle, some more convincingly than others. The front-runner, the Cyborg Superman, kinda ruled himself out of the competition when he nuked out a whole city and replaced it with a giant engine. Now the other would-be Supermen converge in that place...

The Last Son of Krypton/Eradicator finally arrives on Engine City, having set off from the Fortress of Solitude two weeks ago. We noted back then that he suddenly looked like an old man, but he's back to Superman's age now. If this storyline had gone on any longer, he would ended up Benjamin Buttoning himself into a grumpy, ultra-violent baby.

Superboy also flies in from Metropolis. It's the fourth time he makes the Metropolis-Coast City trip in a few days (not counting the time he got a ride on a missile), so he's gotta be pretty bored of it by now.

Steel, last seen getting crushed by some giant cogs, emerges from the bowels of Engine City with his armor in tatters but his body intact. Dude’s a tough nut to crack.

Supergirl and the powerless Man in Black continue making their way through Engine City. Supergirl's like "Wanna step out and let those of us with powers handle this one, chief?" but the Man in Black ain't having it. Wow, that's pretty heroic. Maybe... maybe he's actually the real Superman?! Nah, that's crazy.

And Green Lantern Hal Jordan is also there, because this whole issue takes place on top of the ashes of his old city and childhood memories and all. We see the end of his fight with Mongul from Green Lantern #46.

The Cyborg watches as the Super-People invade his fortress from his control room, but he's a glass half full kind of guy, so he's choosing to focus on the fact that he (apparently) gets to kill Superman again.

After the Eradicator joins the party and the Cyborg reveals his true identity, the Man in Black finds himself in the awkward position of having to team up with one of Superman’s worst villains (the one who wanted to turn Earth into Krypton) to fight a good guy driven crazy by space travel (and who once looked like Johnny-5). It's only after the Eradicator goes on a two-page exposition dump about how he brought Superman back to life that the Man in Black goes "alright, guess you're cool".

The Man in Black and the Eradicator follow the Cyborg to the center of Engine City, where a giant chunk of kryptonite powers the entire fortress. The combined powers of the Eradicator's Eradicator-ness and the Man in Black's punching (OK, mostly the first thing) seem to be winning -- but then, in a desperate move, the Cyborg shoots a blast of concentrated kryptonite at the Man in Black. The Eradicator, however, heroically jumps in front of the blast...

...which has the unexpected side effect of restoring the Man in Black's Superman powers, allowing him to dispatch the Cyborg with a swift "broosh". What's a "broosh"? You know, a "broosh":

After Supergirl uses her convenient clothes-shifting powers on the Man in Black's costume, it only takes one second of him in the classic red and blue tights to convince everyone that HOLY CRAP HE'S THE REAL SUPERMAN AND HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD! (Side note: I like how Green Lantern goes "We'll mop up here! Not like I have anything better to do, what with all my friends being dead and stuff. Haha. I-I’m okay, seriously.")

It's him! It really is him. I knew it all along. Never doubted it.

Character-Watch:

The Eradicator is this issue's real MVP. His whole arc has been about slowly turning him from an emotionless robot into a sentient being through his interactions with people (Lois, Steel, even Loose Cannon and Guy Gardner), and it pays off when he jumps in front of that kryptonite blast yelling "I WON'T LET YOU DIE [AGAIN]!".

Also, when he tells Superman "We have always been linked, you and I", that's true. While their psychic connection influenced Superman negatively for a while (the Day of the Krypton Man saga), it looks like it also worked in the other direction and some of Superman's goodness rubbed off on him. By the way, it might be a stretch but the climactic shot of the kryptonite blast always reminded me of the Day of the Krypton Man's climactic shot, with Superman finally overcoming the Eradicator’s influence with Pa Kent's help.

Anyway, sorry, Superboy and Steel. The Eradicator had the best sacrifice scene in this storyline, hands down. Of course, they eventually brought him back again and turned him into a lapdog for the Cyborg and then Zod, but let's enjoy his dignified retirement while it lasts.

Plotline-Watch:

I'm not kidding when I say that this issue represents the convergence of seven freaking years of storylines. Let's recap (strap on, this is gonna be long):

John Byrne's Man of Steel #1 (1986) introduced Superman's birth matrix, the flying artificial womb that took him from Krypton to Earth. When young Clark sees the matrix for the first time he feels weak, because there's some kryptonite lodged into it. In Superman #1, a few months later, we find out that a crazy scientist stole the matrix and used it to build Metallo, so Superman decides to leave it suspended in orbit to prevent it from being used against him again. Three years later, the distraught mind of a disembodied astronaut called Hank Henshaw jumped into the matrix, and he made himself a tiny little spaceship from its technology, then sped off into deep space. Eventually, he went mad, hooked up with Mongul, and used the DNA information he got from the birth matrix to make himself a half-Kryptonian body. Hence: the Cyborg Superman. (As for that kryptonite rock, it ended up in Lex Luthor's hands... soon to be "hand".)

Also during Byrne's run, Superman briefly visited a "pocket" universe inhabited by a Silver Age-type Superboy, who died by the end of that storyline. Months later, the pocket Earth had turned into a hellhole thanks to three Kryptonian criminals. They too died by the end of that storyline... by Superman's hand. Feeling guilty over killing those killers, Superman exiled himself in space, was captured by Mongul's Warworld, and found an ancient egg-shaped relic created by his ancestors: the Eradicator. Superman brought the Eradicator back to Earth and it built him a nice Fortress of Solitude, but it also took over his mind and turned him into the emotionless Krypton Man -- who became an entity of its own after Superman overcame it. After Superman's death, the Fortress' robots rebooted the Eradicator so he could follow his “preserve Kryptonian life” directive and restore Superman back to life, but he got a little confused and thought HE was Superman. Hence: the Last Son of Krypton.

Another concept introduced by Byrne was the idea that Kryptonian DNA is too complex to be duplicated by Earth scientists, which led to the creation of Bizarro. Byrne's World of Krypton miniseries also established that Kryptonians used clones as spare parts to extend their lifetimes, and the conflict over clone rights literally tore the planet apart. So when Superman learned of a cloning facility near Metropolis called Project Cadmus, he immediately felt uneasy about it. After his death, Cadmus got hold of his body so they could create a replacement, but, again, you can't clone a Kryptonian... so they simply created an approximation of Superman's powers and features using human DNA. Hence: Superboy.

As for Steel, he's just Steel. Hence: Steel. Incidentally, if you’re wondering why his armor has been reduced to just some metal shorts by the end of the issue, here’s the answer. Pretty self-explanatory.

The only major plotline left dangling after this issue (aside from Dr. Stratos, of course) is Lex's own death/return/cloning misadventure, but the Super-Squad will deal with that in a big way pretty soon. Oh, and then there's the mess they left for Green Lantern, but that's another creative team's problem. (SHAMELESS PLUG: Follow my new Green Lantern '94 to '04 blog to see how that mess turned out.)

Believe it or not, there's even MORE stuff to talk about in this issue, so don’t miss the great Don Sparrow's section after the jump:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

In the first place I have to say that this issue is an all-time favourite of mine, probably in my top three of this era of comics we’ve been so dutifully covering.  The excitement at my local comic shop for this issue was incredible, and already being the Superman fan that I was, I felt like I was on the ground floor. [Max: I also remember the excitement when I first saw this issue in my cousin’s hands after he showed it to me the day he bought it... then didn’t let me touch it, so I read it years later.]

We start with the cover, and I got the deluxe edition, with the chromium cover.  Back when this issue came out, I had a love/hate relationship with Image comics.  I wasn’t interested in the dark & gritty characters like Spawn and the like, and generally thought the Image books favoured flash over substance and storytelling.  BUT, man, did the colouring and paper they used at Image ever look cool!  So I was a bit torn about DC using a “gimmicky” feature like this—it looked amazing, but I also felt it was leaning a little far in the direction of sizzle over steak.  But I didn’t mind that much, since this had been such a great story to this point.  Aside from the metallic 3D look of the cover, the drawing is great, too.  It was the first look at the returned Superman in the full suit, and also with the long hair present.  DC must have thought that the long hair was a gamble on some level (even though we’d seen it for months in the actual issues) because they hid it from the covers for so long. [Max: This was also the cover they used in both the Spanish and Mexican editions I have, so that’s what I went with for the top of this post. The “normal” cover looks like a historic oddity to me.]

Inside the issue, we jump in with another splash page—there are a lot of these, and it really calls back Superman #75, as most of the pages have one main image, with a few small panels laid overtop.   This one features another interpretation of the Eradicator, with short, non-spiky hair—it’s interesting to see these characters reinterpreted week to week.  This opening page also commits the unpardonable sin of demanding that we stop reading the issue until AFTER we read Green Lantern #46.  Being a naïve 13 year old when I read this issue, I of course complied with the demands of DC editorial, and read Green Lantern first, not realizing it has a near identical plot (albeit from a different point of view), right down to the “broosh” at the end, very much spoiling what is about to come in Superman #82.  I remember being pretty steamed that my first glimpse of a returned Superman didn’t come in a Superman book.  While I appreciate the coordination, I do find the caption misleading.

Also similar to Superman #75—it’s very hard for me not to talk about every panel or page, because this whole book is just gorgeous.  The badassery from the last issue continues into this one, as Superman with his tough-guy attitude and giant gun is pretty cool.  One quibble I have with this team is that when they bury Superman’s eye’s in shadow, it can have a sinister or tired look, which I don’t think is the intention.  Some panels it’s more prominent than others, but in one panel on page 6 where it makes Superman look pretty rough, and a lot less handsome.  We get more big gun Superman later when he starts taking it to Engine City in general, knowing it is connected to the Cyborg.

The Cyborg taking different shapes is done pretty effectively here, particularly when he forms himself out of what must be a lead-like metal to accuse Superman of a bunch of nutty stuff. The reveal of the Kryptonite heart of engine city is very well done, in part because of Eradicator’s bulging red eyes.  It is a bit weird to imagine a lipless robot saying “mmm, hmm” though.

We get another great full-page splash as the Eradicator goes all-out in his effort to defeat the Cyborg.  The captions here always confused me though, where it says “(The Eradicator)  was built to kill…the other (the rocket that brought Superman to Earth, which the Cyborg used to create his new body) to bear new life.  The victor would be obvious.”  But to me, it’s not obvious.  I would think that in a Superman comic, a vessel of LIFE would be the big winner over ancient weaponry, but I think the caption intends the inverse. I guess it’s saying a gun would beat a baby crib? It’s one of those passages that sounds cool, until you think about it.  Or think about it excessively, as I clearly have. [Max: To be fair, a gun WOULD beat a baby crib. It would kick that baby crib’s ass.]

Superman’s haymaker knocking off the Cyborg’s jaw is an incredible visual, and there’s a subtle set-up for the great cape visual call-back that comes later.

The entire sequence of the Eradicator taking the blast of Kryptonite is well done, in particular the panel when we see Superman through the vanishing Eradicator.  I’m a bit confused as to just how the Kryptonite suction thing works here—the Kryptonite meteor is shrinking and shrinking, but nothing is attached to it except for that one hose.  

Jurgens and Breeding do a great job of showing the physical cost of Green Lantern going toe to toe with Mongul.  It also sets up for my all-time favourite Superboy quote, one I think might be seen on this site from time to time in meme form, “Check it out! The Lantern looks so totaled it makes me want to hurl!”.  This entire saga has been worth it, to get to that line.  Just magnificent. [Max: I think Hal went evil because of that one comment.]

The glimpse of the burnt-out husk of the Eradicator is also incredibly well drawn—and painful looking—but even by the end of this story he seems a lot more recovered.

The scene of the returned-to-full-power Superman decking the Cyborg is a stand-up-and-cheer moment, and I love the detail that Superman is holding the cape for this whole scene. It’s interesting that as the Cyborg starts to get damaged in the fight, we see how little organic material there is. Metal seems to poke through the skin on his face, as if only a thin sheet were laid over the metal.  and when Superman punches right through him, there’s really no blood or anything, just a dry, cracked crater.  I had thought, up until this issue that the cybernetic parts were beside real skin and bones (as if to replace the damaged parts of Superman’s body from his fight with Doomsday), but this issue seems to posit that he’s all robot, with only a veneer of Kryptonian flesh overtop.  

The normally merciful Superman is pretty blood-thirsty here, vibrating his arm fully in the knowledge it might kill Henshaw (who helpfully reminds us, he’s survived before).  [Max: That moment kind of rubbed me the wrong way, and I think Jurgens himself felt uneasy with it too. One of the highlights of his recent “Rebirth” run was that Superman deliberately decides to jail Hank instead of killing him to at least give him a chance to be rehabilitated, which would be cool to see happen one day.] I love the little glimpse we get of the restored, and re-costumed Superman before the full reveal, and as a character moment, I love that he would think to show gratitude for the heroes who filled in when Superman was dead.

The next few pages are pure joy, as it’s such a treat to see our Superman soaring around in the sunshine, even with the new Tarzan haircut.  It’s such a show of restraint that they didn’t pack a reunion with Lois into this issue, instead allowing a different superteam to tell that story, which very much deserves its own issue.  Overall, though, I just remember feeling such a sense of joy, and relief that Superman was back, and back to full power. [Max: SPOILERS: And then some...]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I do love this era of comics before swearing (or even censored swearing) was a thing, because they have the weirdest phrases. John Byrne would always have characters saying “blast” instead of “damn” to an absolutely ridiculous degree.  In this issue, I don’t know for sure if “crud” is a stand-in for another word, but it does strike me as downright odd for Green Lantern to use it as a noun against Mongul.  The concept of “a crud” just amuses me, though I suppose it could be meant in the same vein as “scum” or something.

Is it me, or does Jeb look like Ricardo Montalbon here? [Max: Oh crud, I forgot Jeb was in this issue! Jeb was in this issue, everyone.]

I love they don’t even give the Cyborg a moment to be cool.  Just as he’s about to reveal his true identity in a villainous speech he gets clocked by Superboy, in one of my favourite moments with the character (but not my very favourite, as we’ve seen.)  I also like the low-level burn that Henshaw assumes that Superman must already know who he is, but Superman’s like, nope.

I do like that this issue goes to great lengths to explain that Superman can’t just keep returning from the dead, even going so far as to say it would never work again.  My pet theory is that the Eradicator’s Resurrection Matrix only worked because Pa Kent’s spiritual journey in Adventures of Superman #500 really did happen. [Max: I might be misremembering, but I think the upcoming issue of Action pretty much confirms that.]

I’m glad to see him recovered, but I kinda think Eradicator spoiled the moment a little with his observation about Green Lantern.

[Max: Blast it, Sparrow! You’ve done it again!]

[ellana-ravenwood]

Nicknames batmom calls Bruce: Brucie, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, baby, my heart, my love, Gomez, Bat, Batboy, Black Knight, big bear,grumpy pants Feel free to add on😂

She calls him Brucie ironically, and with a high pitch voice. He doesn’t like it. 

She calls him sweetheart when they’re just the two of them, and he needs comfort. He can’t live without it. 

She calls him sweetie when she babies him. He secretly loves it, but grumbles whenever she does it. It highly amuses Alfred how his Master reacts like a child whenever she does it as well. “Put some sunscreens on Sweetie” *Bruce grumbling that he’s an adult and knows when to put sunscreens on on his own without any reminder, while slapping sunscreens on his skin “aggressively”*. 

She calls him honey when she wants to ask him a question. “Honey where’s this ?”, “Are you ready, honey ?”, “Honey can you give me a massage ?” etc etc…And he obliges each time, mainly because she called him “honey”. 

She calls him baby or Babe when she’s drunk or tired (when she’s tired, it’s kind of as if she was drunk really, as she can’t stand straight, slurs her words and can’t think quite straight), and it’s usually an indication that he has to carry her/help her to bed. 

She calls him My Heart daily, and it’s her favorite thing to call him. Because he is her heart. 

She doesn’t call him “my love”, that’s his thing. 

She calls him Gomez because once Tim said they were just like Morticia and Gomez in the Addams Family, smooching each others in public all the time, and she thought it was hilarious. When she does call him that, the Batboys run away because they know it’s PDA time. 

She calls him Bat because he dresses like a bat…

She calls him Batboy rarely, and it usually confuses everyone because “Batboy” is usually addressed at one of her sons, and not her husband. It just kinda happen sometimes. 

She calls him Black Knight when he does something chivalrous for her, like holding a door or just being overly sweet. She likes the way it makes him look all around him, paranoid that someone might understand why “Black Knight” and not “White” as usual. She thinks it’s funny, especially since she’d never say it in actual public. And also, she enjoys playing the princess from time to time. 

She calls him Big Bear when he’s especially cuddly.He gladly accept the nickname as he snuggles further into her, and if in a good mood (which he often is when hugging her), he’ll growl to amuse her. 

She calls him Grumpy Pants when he’s being a child and brooding. It’s always sure to make his sons snicker, and to vexe him, but he can never stay mad at her as she smiles mischievously and all and…The Batboys are gone fast, in those instances. 

Some to add on : 

She calls him Broosh often, and most of the time when they’re just between family, as a cute way to say “Bruce” (also, full story explained in this fic : Ma Broosh !).

She calls him the most RIDICULOUS pet names when in presence of his friends (Clark, Hal, Diana, Oliver, Dinah etc etc). Pumpkin. Cuddle Muffin. Jellybean. Honeybun. Sunbeam. Snugglebutt and what not (yes, she dares to call him snugglebutt in front of their friends and all, and gets great satisfaction out of everyone’s reaction). 

She calls him Boss or Chief when they’re at work. It turns him on, and it’s always a feat when he’s turned on while at work…

She calls him Heartbreaker when he ignores a woman flirting with him, and he always tells her that there’s only one heart he never wants to break, only one heart he’s interested in. It’s cheesy and stupid, and it works every time. 

She calls him Sexy Pants whenever he lifts his shirt. Every. Single. Time. He thinks it’s funny, and also, ego boost. 

I’m sure I could add plenty more, but I should probably stop here. 

[ellana-ravenwood]

Wild Child - Bruce Wayne x Reader

PART 2

Oh man, this deserves an entire fic, and not just a little answer I write in thirty seconds…And so here it is, hope you’ll like it :-) : 

My master list blog :  @ella-ravenwood-archives

________________________________________________

It happened during one of your daily lunch time date with Bruce.

You tried, as much as possible, to eat with your husband come down noon everyday, and managed to do so most of the time.

Wether you brought him some delicious food prepared by Alfred to his office at Wayne inc, or went out for an hour to grab something in a cafe...it was a ritual of yours.

And a rather important one at that, as it was one of the only time you could enjoy each others without one of your children bargain in...Usually, even paparazzis would leave you alone, as you always let them snape a few quality pictures before.

Yes. It happened during one of your little moment with your Broosh...

-(Y/N) ? (Y/N) (Y/L/N) ?! Is it really you ?  

-...Oh my God, Alex ?!

As soon as you felt a hand on your arm, turned around to see that it was your childhood best friend that you hadn’t seen in twenty years...You knew two things were now going to happen.

1. Your husband was going t leave his seat on the terrace of the cafe you were both having lunch in to come see who dared to touch his wife.

2. You just knew you were going to have to invite your dear from over for dinner...Twenty years was such a long time, how could you not ?!

And, sure enough, not even ten seconds after your turned around and hug enthusiastically Alex, you felt another hand snake around your waist and, still holding onto your friend’s arms, you turned to Bruce (who of course had his brow furrowed and was glaring at “the man who dared to touch you”) as his huge shadow was casted upon you and Alex.

Bruce notices the fact that your hands do not let go off that stranger’s own hands, he notices that you don’t snuggle against him as you are used to whenever he puts an arm around your waist...and the green monster of jealousy  takes over him.

Who the Hell was that guy ?!

But as you turn around, the large and genuine smile you have on your face makes his heart tighten and melt at the same time.

Tighten because this smile isn’t just for him, but also for that man your still holding, and melt because...you really have the most beautiful smile he’ve ever seen.

The mixed feelings inside him leave him a bit confuse, and it takes him a few seconds to register that you’re talking to him :

-Bruce ! Oh my God you won’t believe what just happened ! Ok so Bruce, this is Alexandar, my best childhood friend ! He moved to California when we were seventeen and I haven’t seen him since ! This is crazy !  

You know your husband is jealous (even though there’s a reason to, you and Alex ? There has never been anything ambiguous between the two of you), but you’re too happy to really pay any attention to it (besides, it happens way too often and you’ve gotten quite good at ignoring him when he’s like that...you’ll make it up to him later in the day..maybe quickly visit his office or something ? Or just wait for him to come back home after patrol...).

You hug Alex again (ignoring Bruce’s little outraged cry) and say :

-This is Bruce by the way, my husband.

-Oh, so it’s (Y/N) Wayne now eh ? Well, you’ve always kinda had a thing for him...I remember you drooling over his pictures in magazines...

You blush a bit and shift awkwardly, knowing that Bruce was never going to let that go but...Strangely, he doesn’t take notice of it and say :

-You know who I am ?

Your friend looks up at your husband (Alex wasn’t really short, no, he was 1m80, but Bruce...Oh Bruce was a giant) and, with an infuriating (for Bruce) smirk he says :

-Haha, who doesn’t ?

Alex winks at Bruce and...could it be ? You were pretty sure your Broosh almost smiled ! Against his own will of course, Alex natural friendly aura always worked on everyone (he got you out of tons of trouble thanks to that particular aura).

You take this almost-friendliness from Bruce as your queue to do the second thing you were sure that was going to happen and say :

-Oh and I have kids ! A bunch of them ! Shit because right now we have to go back to work and such but we just got to catch up ! What about you come over for dinner soon ?

Your friend chuckle at the way you just phrased things...A “bunch” of kids ? And oh how missed you and your antics.

He takes a quick look at your husband and...that man does not look happy. However, not in the least taken aback, Alex says :

-I mean, I’d love to come over for dinner ! If that’s OK with you ?

He turns to Bruce (and you just know he’s teasing him on purpose...you think it’s hilarious) who grumpily just nods a bit. You elbow him slightly in the ribs and he groans before saying :

-We’d love to have you over.

It sounds so fake that you wince and give an apologetic look to Alex. Your friend just smiles knowingly as you say :

-What about next Friday ? We should all be free...right Bruce ?

It seems like Alex doesn’t notice the little tension in your voice as you say that, but oh he sees how Bruce’s head turns to you and how his harsh facial expression (seriously, was that guy able to smile ?) soften by just looking at you, and when he answers you :

-Yes.

It’s in a sweet and voice that Alex would never had pegged a guy like Bruce Wayne to have. Hell, the great and always in control Bruce Wayne had to refrain himself from adding “my Love” to that, remembering you were in public...but you know better.

And it seems Alex does too because he gives you another knowing look and smiles a bit smugly (he always knew you were a hopeless romantic, despite what you used to say) before saying :

-Alright then, see you Friday ! Oh God we got lots to catch up ! I can’t believe you married the famous Bruce Wayne - he gives an appreciative look to your stoic husband - and that you got kids ! All the way to California, you guys aren’t really in tabloids...I should’ve known...

-Haha it’s alright Alex, I see my face in said tabloids enough, I’m glad it’s not nation wide ! And yes we do have lots to catch up ! See you later Al’ !

With yet another wink to Bruce, your friends leaves and disappears in the crowded streets. You don’t move for a few seconds, a dreamy smile still on your lips. You can’t believe you he’s back ! You can’t believe Alexandar McMillan, the only really good friend you had when you were a kid, is back in Gotham City !

You turn to Bruce and...Oh, your husband does NOT share your smile. You roll your eyes and say :

-Don’t make that face Honey, he’s probably more interested in you than he is in me.

Bruce comes out of his sort of jealous-transe he was in and, with a confused look on his face that is so unlike him, he says :

-...What ?

You chuckle and wrap your arms around his torso, squeezing him against you lovingly. He return your embrace of course (you can even feel his tense muscles relax a bit under your touch) and you add :

-Alex is gay. Very very gay. I wasn’t the only one drooling over your pictures in those magazines, when we were younger.

Immediately reassured that “Alex” isn’t going to steal you away from him (he felt how close you both were just by seeing you two interacting for not even fifteen minutes...he was so damn scared he was going to loose you !), your husband smirk and...Oh no, no he wouldn’t dare...Would he ?

-So...Drooling over pictures of me eh ? How does it feel to actually sleep with your idol ?

You roll your eyes as hard as you can and smack him on the chest...but you can’t hide the small blush on your cheeks as the man you love discovers one of your childhood secret.

Yes. You used to have a massive crush on the very handsome Bruce Wayne when you were fourteen (he was already in his twenties at that time).

And yes, you tried to hide this from him because you knew he’d tease you endlessly about it (after all, not only was he your lover, the love of your life, but also your best friend, and so the teasing was non-stop).

Little did you know that, by dinner time next Friday, many more of your childhood secrets would be out...To your greatest displeasure.

************

It was about half-way through the main course that it all started.

You had try to avoid those topics since Alex first set foot in the mansion but...well, it had been a huge part of your childhood so...

It didn't help that your children were so damn curious about how you were as a child ! As soon as they heard that your best childhood friend was coming over, they had trouble hiding their curiosity.

They never met one of your childhood friend (probably because you had only one, and he moved to California all those years ago...you were a pretty lonely person after Alex’s departure, up until you met Bruce in your early twenties and found a new best friends...Found new friends in general, all of them part of the Justice League of course...Oh, and who could forget Alfred ? Your confident ?), and they were excited to.

************

When Alex rung the doorbell, he heard a raucous behind the door, wondering what the Hell was happening...It was your boys, all running to the door, from different part of the mansion, and fighting to open it first...

Jason, being the tallest and strongest of them all, was the one to open...A very surprised Alex stared at Jason pushing away his other brothers with his thigh, struggling to keep the door open, and groaning incoherent words at them.

You arrived not even a minute later, accompanied by Alfred and Bruce, and you couldn’t help but facepalm yourself as you witnessed your children just being an indistinct ball of legs and arms, groaning, snarling and growling at each others.

You only had to clear your throat for them to let go of each other and to try and stand up straight as you came towards them, glaring a little bit (you were quite amused really) at them. You turned to a stunned Alex and said :

-Well, welcome to my “humble” home, and yes I’m being sarcastic and a bit of a show off, fight me. I see you met my...Boys. The one who opened the door is Jason, the one that was trying to tear his hair off of his skull is my eldest, Richard, but everyone calls him Dick. The one that was biting his leg is my youngest, Damian. And the one who was doing both of that with a cup of coffee in his free hand ? That’s Timothy, Tim. Welcome welcome, now come on, dinner’s ready, Alfred made something great. Oh this is Alfred by the way, our wonderful butler. Now come on Al’, let’s go.

All your friend could utter, in front of this all spectacle, was a weak and confused :

-You...you have a butler ?

This started the night off with all of you bursting out in laughter (even Bruce), and it was just perfect.

************

It didn’t stay perfect though as, half-way through dinner, the subject was raised, sprawled by a comment Alex made.

Jason was talking about how he loved to drive motorcycles and how he’d go to Gotham’s tracks at least once a week to practice when Alex said :

-Oh, your mother used to love dirt bikes too. Best “get away car” she used to say. Which was pretty stupid really, since a dirt bike isn’t a car...but hey, no offense to you guys but sometimes, your mom wasn't the brightest one haha !

Alex laughs and your sons...Oh damn. Yup. They’re onto it. You wince a bit, waiting for their inevitable question, but Bruce beats them to it :

-Best “get away car” ?

-Yup. But then again, stupid, a dirt bike ain’t a “car”.

-Yes no I got that part but...Why would she need a “get away car” ? Or bike ? Or whatever ?

Alex freezes as his forks is half-way to his mouth and turns to you, a mischievous smile on his face. You don’t say a thing, afraid to incriminate you further, but give him a look that clearly means : “don’t you dare”. But oh, oh he’s your best friend since you were a tiny kid and your glare doesn’t work on him, and so...he does dare.

-What ? She never told you ?

Damian narrows his eyes at that “Alex” (he wouldn’t admit it just yet, but he already loved the guy...he kinda reminded him of you really, he definitely understood why you were friends) and say, pointing at him with his fork :

-Don’t you tell lies about my mother.

Your friend turns to your son and give you an amused look. Oh that one has your glare, and the threat in his words is definitely no joke. Good.

-I’m not about to tell any lies. Must admit though, I’m surprised she never talked about it...

-About what ?

Asks Tim, eager to know (always so curious).

-Her childhood.

Damian raises a bit more in his chair, interested, and says :

-She did tell us about it. About how she grew up in The Narrows, one of the poorest neighborhood in Gotham. About how tough it was. How we should never think we’re better than anyone because we have money because some people are great and do not. She told us all sort of things about her childhood and the Narrows and all of that.

-Well, it’s nice of her to teach you good principles. But...Hasn’t she taught you not to lie ?

You roll your eyes and say :

-I never lied, I just...never talked about it. It wasn’t really important alright ? And it was so long ago.

-A lie by omission is still a lie.

-No it’s not Alex, and you damn well know it. Now let’s move on and...

But Bruce raises his arm and gestures to you to stop talking..something he would have never dared to do if he wasn’t so engrossed in what was happening. You hated being shushed, but in this instance, you can understand why he did it.

You’ve always been evasive about your childhood.

He knew you had abusive parents who died when you were young, and were mostly raised by your older brothers (who were unfortunately also dead now...Drug bust lead by corrupted police officers...there were a reason, after all, why you were so supportive of his nightly activities). He knew you didn’t had the greatest and easiest childhood. He knew...enough. But whenever you talked about it, he also knew that you were omitting some details.

And now, he was about to know them all.

After “shushing you” a bit rudely (he’d apologize later), he turned to your friend and, captivated, he said :

-Go on Alexandar. Please. We all want to know.

You sighed, defeated (you didn’t fight much but you knew that, since they were all so stubborn, you had no chance of winning that said fight so...might as well end it quick eh ?), and sunk down a bit in your chair.

Alex looked at you and, knowing damn well he had won easily, smiled and turned to his captivated audience (even Alfred was listening intently, acting as if he wasn’t) :

-Well...Your mother, boys. Your wife, Bruce...She wasn’t exactly...A well behaved kid. Oh no. Actually, at Gotham precinct, they used to refer to her as a “wild child”.

************

Growing up in the Narrows was tough. People had nothing to loose there, and could kill someone for a can of beans.

Growing up in the Narrows was tough but...When you knew nothing else, you just had to deal with it.

You were one of the few teenagers of the block that wasn’t involved with the local mafia (though your very first job was a summer seasonal one, when you were thirteen, and it was to stock the ice machine at a pub known to be the headquarters of the Irish mafia...eh, they used to tip really well), that wasn’t dealing or anything...

But still, you weren’t exactly a perfect child.

Your mom had died of an overdosed when you were six, while your dad was in prison, and your oldest brother had taken you in. He was barely eighteen and had to work lots to take care of you and your two other brothers (unfortunately, to do so he had to involve himself in the mafia...which lead to his untimely demise, years later, in that terrible drug bust that left you without any family, but that’s another story...your brother was the reason you never got involved with the mafia. You were the youngest, and though he couldn’t save his other two sibling from this life, he could you, since you were so much younger than all of them...you often thought about how your life could have been very different if your brother never sacrificed himself to save you from being involved with the mafia).

This particular family setting gave you the mean to...run wild and free.

When you were seven, you and Alex sneaked into one of those utterly rich country club from the outskirt of Gotham (not too far from The Narrows...all you had to do was climbing the high wall they put up to not see the misery they acted liked it didn’t exist), and “borrowed” a golf cart.

Neither of you knew how to drive and you crashed pretty quickly in a nearby pond...You ran away, fortunately unscathed, laughing and yelling profanities, chased by angry rich old men who definitely would have beaten you with their golf club if they had been able to catch up with you two. You were from the Narrows after all, you had to know how to run fast.  

When you were nine, you skipped school for the first time...It was so easy. All you had to do really, was to go left instead of right when you got out of the school bus. Alex followed you of course, his parents weren’t really much better than yours so...no one ever even told you anything.

When you turned thirteen, you and Alex had the absolutely stupid and dangerous idea to steal some weed from a local small time dealer...It was your birthday and Alex just couldn’t resist you, and so he went to talk to the dealer, causing a diversion while you were robbing him.

Coincidently, this was also the first time you actually smoke weed...You were quite “baked” and got taken to Gotham police station by a certain officer James Gordon when you and Alex started to run down the street (on a school day, at school hours) laughing way too loudly.

Jim Gordon never told you nor Alex that what you stole from that “drug dealer” was oregano, and that said “drug dealer” was ripping people off (which definitely was a bad idea in a neighborhood like The Narrows). He laughed way to much seeing you completely “baked” while you didn’t actually smoke (later on you would though).

He let you two go with a warning (you didn’t even find it odd) and that was the first time you’d deal with future commissioner James Gordon.

When you were fifteen, you stole the school bully’s dirt bike (by that time, your brother had forced you to promise you’d go to school and you were only skipping really boring classes nowadays...like maths and sports, going to smoke in a corner with Alex), and engaged in a crazy chase all around Gotham with it.

This spurred you to call dirt bikes “the perfect get away car” as you lost tons of cops car (evidently, those guys had nothing better to do than to chase a kid who had stolen a fucking dirt bike...), running up and down narrow streets, stairs, hills, and even parks ! You lost the last cops’ car in the forrest surrounding Gotham East, as you were climbing up the mountain with “your” dirt bike...Perfect “get-away-car-which-wasn't-really-a-car”.

When you came home with it, your brothers weren’t really happy with you but...They still help you re-paint it and one of your brother sold it for a few hundred buck...to the bully you had stolen it from !

When you were seventeen, you received the worst news ever since your mom’s passing...Alex was leaving. His abusive father had been send to prison and his mother, who was finally freed of his grasp, had decided to move to the literal other side of the country, in California.

You were devastated...But also very decided to give Alex a memorable last day in Gotham.

You stole a sport car (by pure coincidence, or maybe it was destiny...it was Bruce’s, he never knew, until now, what had happened to his brand new lambho) from high town and picked Alex up from his home. You spend the day racing around town, and ended up dumping the car in a nearby lake, where you then proceed to smoke a last joint together, before the awful separation...

Yes. 

Your childhood, your young years, had been a bit..”wild”. 

James Gordon is the one that called you a “Wild Child” first, when he “arrested” you for the thousand times. It’s funny how, for some reasons, he never gave up on you though...When your brothers got killed, he’s the one that gave you the news, the one that helped you go to college, the one that...got you out of the Narrows really (but that was another story).

But when Alex left (you kept in contact by letter the first few years, as it was before internet but...life got in the way as it often does, and ultimately, you kinda lost contact...yet today, as you see each other again after years, it’s as if not even a day has passed since he left), you didn’t have anyone to do things with you anymore. It wasn’t as fun. And when, right after your eighteenth birthday, your brothers got killed by corrupted cops...you stop that lifestyle completely.

Shortly after that, you met Bruce for the first time, and the rest was history.

************

-Oh and don’t get me started on that time she managed to get a herd of goats up the school’s roof ! Like, where did she even find goats in Gotham ?!

You smiled mysteriously as your children and husband turned to you, expecting you to say something, and you do, it’s just not the answer they were expecting :

-Well, I gotta have a few secrets still no ?

They pout, a bit disappointed, but turn to Alex again, waiting for him to keep going. By now, dinner was over and the clock was indicating one am (it was your husband and children’s night off of patrol, Batwoman and Batgirl, as well as Gotham Girl and Boy were on it).

Your friend raises his hand and say :

-That’s it guys, I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget any “crime” your mother did. Of course nothing was ever really...big...

-Except for when she stole a car.

-And the weed.

-And everything really.

-Well I think it’s cool.

-Oh yes, yes it is.

-Most definitely

You smile at your boys and oh you’re so relieve that all those stories didn’t change their opinions of you (on the contrary, they think you’re even more badass than they already knew you were).

At first, when Alex started telling all those stories, you blushed a lot and hid yourself behind your hands. You had almost forgotten how much of a brat you used to be...

But as you heard Dick laugh a lot, as you saw Jason looking at you with a “Oh this is why you don’t ground me nearly as much as I should be” look on his face, when you looked at Tim and his “I know now where all your good excuses to skip school you give me come from”, when you glimpsed at Damian who was completely entranced by your friend’s stories...Hell, even as you saw Bruce slightly amused expression and mischievous look to you (he knew this life was long over anyway), and Alfred small shake of his head and smiles, you realized that really, there wasn’t anything to be ashamed off and started to comment your friends’ stories, and even add to it, laughing and saying “oh the good old days” way too much.

And finally, finally the end of it all was coming, and you were all laughing and talking about it all.  

-So..This is why you and Commissioner Gordon seemed to know each other so well when I thought you first met at that Gala on one of our first date.

Bruce said, nudging you a little in the ribs. You smile and say :

-Well, he wasn’t a commissioner at the time but..yup, this is why.

And soon, it was already 3 am and Alfred was taking Alex to one of the guest room (there was no way you were going to let him go home alone that late in the night) as your boys were cleaning up the table.

You were putting away some dishes when you felt your Bruce’s arms snake around your waist from behind, and his chest pressing against your back. You smile, and raise your head, giving him a small kiss on the lips.

He grazes your neck with his mouth and says :

-So...you’ve been a bad girl uh ? Should I handcuff you and punish you properly ?

You back yourself fully against him, and take a please expression at his sudden sharp intake of breath before saying, in a sexy voice :

-Oh no please sir, be merciful.

-I’m afraid I can’t m’am, you broke too many laws. I’ll have to sp...

-OH MY GODS PARENTS !! ENOUGH !! WE’RE RIGHT HERE !!

You and Bruce both jump in the air, startled, and turn around to be faced with an outraged Tim who just spoke, and three other boys, mouth opened, a disgusted look on their face, and dirty dishes in their hands (they didn’t even think about putting them down, too shocked and grossed out by what they just heard you say).

You can’t help but chuckle, and that pure sound make your husband’s feature soften. Ignoring his sons, he turns you around and catches your lips with his, kissing you passionately...You barely register the clatter of dishes thrown on the kitchen counters, and your sons’ hurried footsteps slowly fading away.

The End.

______________________________________

As usual, it’s all over the fucking place, such a mess really... Sorry, I often get carried away as I start writing...Like, this is why this is fucking long, sorry again...Hope you still liked it.

As always, feedbacks are very welcome (your opinion means a lot to me). Thank you for reading. And boom.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The List - Bruce Wayne x Reader (Erotica)

Summary : You and Bruce, are making a list of all the people you slept with...Because why not ?

I just had this stupid idea when I was at work and sorry for it...hope you’ll still kinda like it and boom, here :

IMPORTANT WARNING : THIS IS EROTICA ! THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE UNDERAGED, I GODDAMN MEAN IT. Like there’s cute and sweet feelings in the mix, but also...smut, so if you’re not 18 or more, or if you’re not comfortable with that sort of things etc etc, this story ain’t for you. I have tons of other very SFW story, for averyone to read, and if you wanna check those out instead, it’s right here, on My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives.

________________________________________________

You don’t even remember who started it.

You don’t remember if it’s you who made a snarky comment first, or him.

You both were equally gifted in the sarcasm area, so it really could be any of you. And none of you could actually remember the instigator of it all...

But oh someone definitely started it, and now, you were both sitting on the floor around the coffee table of the living room, a pen in hand, a blank sheet of paper in front of you, thinking about all the people you had sex with. 

Or rather, about the people you had sex with and that you both knew. 

Who cared about some unknown guy from a bar, or a girl from a gala ? 

They meant nothing. They were just pleasure on the spot, something that didn’t matter at all and...to be honest, both you and Bruce didn’t care about those one night stands with people you didn’t give a damn about...You both knew you weren’t each other’s first time after all, and one night stands ? They were long over and there were not nearly as much as everyone thought...Bruce had only a few, and you too. And again, it was such a long time ago, and so meaningless (definitely not your favorite kind of sex, and Bruce would agree with that). 

This list was about the people you had sex with, with whom you shared part of your life, and/or someone you both knew. 

You knew almost everything about each others, but your past relationships ? You rarely talked about it. You never felt the need to, as you were too in love with each others for anyone else to really matter...

Both of you already stated multiple times, in your long years of marriage, that you never loved anyone like you loved each other. That all those past relationships were nothing compared to what you felt to each others. 

But...Curiosity always got the better of the two of you. 

And besides, when Bruce learnt that you used to date his best friend, Clark, he started to wonder if you slept with anyone else he knew, after all, you knew lots of Justice League members before knowing him so...He just wanted to know (he would never admit it, but he was quite jealous really. Grumpy Broosh). 

And so here you were, after one of you made a comment about it (wether it was you comparing Bruce to Clark or him saying something about Selina, you didn’t quite remember), writing a list. You were writing the last name on yours when Bruce raised his head and, very sternly said :

-I’m done.  

You smiled as you finished the last letter of the name you were writing and looked up, smiling at him. 

-Me too. 

Just another proof of how you were always so damn in sync, finished right at the same time. He doesn’t smile, and you smirk at him as you exchange papers. And...Exact same number than you. You quickly look over it and chuckle a bit, he detached his attention from your list (his frown getting bigger by the second as he was reading it), and, a bit suspicious, says : 

-What ? 

-Bruce, I think the two of us basically slept with the entire league. We’re super-sluts my heart. 

It doesn’t make him smile at all, on the contrary, and you roll your eyes before saying : 

-Hey you’re the one that started this. 

-No you are. 

-I don’t remember starting it. 

-You did when you talked about Clark. 

-I’m pretty sure you spoke about Selina first. 

-No I...

-Listen it doesn’t matter. What I mean is, don't be so moody my Broosh. All those names there, they mean nothing to me. Well, I mean I’m still friends with many of them, and so are you but like...I love you. This is never going to change. I love you more than I ever loved anyone, and the only ones you could be somewhat jealous of are our boys because nothing can compare to the love I have for them. But, romantic love ? Like “I want to spend my life by your side” shit ? It’s you Bruce. It always been you. Don’t feel jealous because they might have had my body once or twice, but you’re the only one that caught my heart so...let’s just have fun ok ? Like I wanna know how it was to have sex with Zatanna ? Did she use magic ? 

This makes Bruce crack a smile and...Ok. He could ignore his jealousy, just like you were trying very hard to do. He wasn’t duped, he knew you were a jealous mess right now, but you were right, it didn’t even matter...You loved him. He loved you. Nothing could change that. He shakes his head and says : 

-Alright. I love you too. More than you can imagine. If I had to burn the world for you I would. But you already know that. You already know you mean everything to me, you’re the most important (you and the boys) person in my life. You’re the only one I ever actually loved and I just know you’re the love of my life so, I won’t repeat myself again. 

-You just did. 

-I know. I’ll never get tired to tell you I love you. 

-Cheesy fucker. 

-Only with you. 

-Yes, I bet you weren’t cheesy with...

You quickly glance at his list and, raising an eyebrow you say : 

-Lois ? 

He smirks at you and explains : 

-When I came back from my training, I went to Metropolis to make sure Clark wasn’t a threat and...Well, she was there. 

-I bet she was. So wait at that time I was probably...Hey barely finishing middle school. You guys are all so old. 

-Oh shut up, you love it. 

-Never said I didn’t...Also, since I slept with Clark and you with Lois, we should totally ask them if they’d be into a foursome. Oh and relax Bruce ! I’m kidding ! Kinda...

You approach him seductively and kiss him lightly on the lips but before he can grabs you you pull away, ignoring his groan (and damn the way it was so obvious he wanted to follow after you was hot, but his self-control was even hotter), you went back to your place in front of him, on the other side of the coffee table and took his list again. He took yours and...

-Harvey Dent ?! 

You jump at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to speak so soon, and you nod slowly saying : 

-Well it was before the all...hum...him becoming completely crazy. He was your friend, you know how great he used to be. Also, seems like even at the time I couldn’t resist justice. 

Your own joke makes you chuckle as your husband just roll his eyes at you and adds : 

-If I knew you’d do it, I would have added comments too...

-I bet you love it. 

-Oh yeah sure, I love to read about what my wife thought of the sex she had with other men. I particularly like you mentioning that “The ring comes in handy” next to Hal’s name. 

-Well I’m sorry Bruce, but it does. Have you ever had sex with a Green Lantern ?

-No. 

-I’ll steal Hal’s ring to show you what you can do with that thing. 

The sultry smile you give him makes him shivers and he turns back his attention to the piece of paper in front of you. He could just imagine your damn smug face and it calmed him down. 

A few minute of silence pass as you both scan each other’s list, when you finally break it : 

-So...Did Zatanna use magic ? 

-No. 

-I feel like she missed an opportunity there...

He grumbles an answer and oh you just love this all thing. It’s hilarious to see him so jealous and yet interested at the same time and...Oh you hide your own jealousy and interest way better than he does, which happens so rarely that it’s just too damn satisfying ! 

His voice brings you back to reality as he says : 

-When you write “Hades” do you mean...

-The God of the Underworld yes. Met him while helping Diana do a thing. 

-You slept with Hades. The God of the Underworld. 

-Mm mm. 

-Right. But of course. 

There’s a short silence before he adds :

-...And “Constantine” is it...John Constantine ? 

-Yup. 

-...

-What ? I have a thing for this all dark gothic thing ok ? Besides, I see here you slept with Nocturna so like, I bet you kinda do too. Props to you though, she’s hot. 

-The nail marks she left on my back were so much deeper than the one you leave. 

-I bet, she has long ass nails...Did she bit you ? 

-Yes. Oh yes. 

-Hot. 

-I know. 

You smile at him, happy to see him relax a bit and understanding that...This is the past. It’s ok to talk about the past. It’s ok that you both enjoyed being with other people before because...Now ? They were all long gone from your thoughts. Only Bruce remained in your mind. And only you remained in his. 

He smiles back, and your wink kinda drives him crazy but oh he’s decided to show nothing of it and starts reading your list again. 

You’re the one, once again, that break the silence again : 

-So. You have a thing for kinda...bad girls uh ? Talia, Selina...I bet they were completely wild in the sheets.

-You’re wrong. Talia was super into vanilla sex, I think because she lacked love in her life, and Selina...The wildest thing we ever did was to do it in front of her hundred cats. 

You full on laugh at his words and he adds : 

-It’s those whom you’d least suspect that are the wildest really. 

-So like...Julie Madison ? 

He sees you wince a bit at her name, as you knew she was his first love and..well, jealousy overwhelmed you a bit. 

-Yes. But believe me, nothing compare to what we did. Like that time we did it with you hung on the chandelier in my office. 

You smile and wink some more at him, all thought of Julie Madison gone at the good memories of that indeed very wild night. But you continue : 

-Ok but I bet that...hum Vixen and Hawkgirl were quite something ! Oh and Power Girl. Nice tits. 

-Yeah. Power Girl gave me a...hum...

-Titty job ? 

-...Yes...

-Was it good ? 

-Not as good as yours. 

You give him a satisfied smile and he smiles back. If he didn’t know that it would make you be very pretentious and that you would never let it go, he’d tell you that the best sex he ever had was with you. By far. But this thoughts are making him think of your body squirming under him and he has to think about something else to resist the urge to jump on you, so he says : 

-Hawkgirl’s wings made it a bit awkward sometimes. 

-What, she basically had to ride you right ? 

-Yes. 

-Awww you not being in control made you feel awkward ? 

-My love, I often leave you control. 

-No, I take it, or you’d always be the dominant one. It’s ok though Bruce, I like it better like that. I’ve always been more submissive anyway...

-Even with Oliver ? I see you put “Green Arrow” down...and seeing him with Dinah makes me think that...

Your laugh stops him and you say : 

-Oh yeah no, Oliver is totally the bottom haha ! What about Dinah ? I can see you got with her...

-Yes, before she met Oliver. And hum...Her screams were disturbing. 

You snort once more imagining the scene of Bruce using one of his extremely pleasurable signature move on Black Canary and her screaming in his ear...oh damn. 

And he can’t help it, he laughs too...and he can’t help but think that this situation could only happen with you. Only with you. Because only with you could it be so natural to speak about past sex and relationship. Only with you could it be totally fine and normal. 

Because you were too in love for it to really matter, and this was all part of both your lives...You weren’t each others’ first time. At least, when it came to “having sex”. When it came to “making love”, you were definitely each others’ first time. He never made love to anyone else but you. Because he knew that the only women he truly ever loved was you...He stares at you as your eyes scan his list, just admiring your beauty and...a thought comes to him slowly. 

With a smirk he takes his most stoic voice, his “I’m super serious voice” and asks : 

-Who’s...bigger ? 

You raise your head to look at him and at first, what he’s asking isn’t registering until finally, it does, and you roll your eyes, sigh, and say :

-Really Bruce ? 

-Yes. Really. 

-Erf. I’m not even gonna answer that, it’s too damn immature. 

He holds the smirk he wants to give you, holds it as best he can, before taking an extremely annoying and whiney voice to say : 

-Please ? Please ?! Ok never mind...all I wan’t to know is...am I bigger than Superman ? 

The sparkles in his eyes make you melt, and oh you wished he would be more often that cheery and silly...And you decide to indulge him : 

-...Oh for God’s sake, yes you are. You’re actually bigger than all of them, is your stupid masculine pride reassured ? 

-Yes. Yes it is. ...I knew I was the most well hung anyway. 

-...Oh my God Bruce...

He chuckles and it’s the most beautiful sound you ever heard, and you can see he’s about to say something but you cut him off : 

-Oh wait actually you’re not the biggest one, Plastic Man is. I mean, the guy can extend any part of his body as he wishes so...

Bruce’s smile falters and he just stares at you for a few seconds until he realizes that...of course you’re just messing with him, and with another wink you add : 

-But don’t worry, you’re the one that knows how to use it best. 

He smiles again until you continue : 

-In my top 10 of “best sex ever” you’re definitely holding the 8 first places ! 

The frown is back and he asks :

-...Who are the two others ? 

-Only one person. Clark. He does that thing where he...

-I DON’T WANNA KNOW ! 

You laugh yet again and the sound of your clear and childish giggle makes him relax a bit, and loose the frown. He shakes his head at your teasing and finishes reading your list. It’s not as bad as he thought in the end...Once again, you break the silence that installed itself : 

-Wait, what did you do with Diana ? You just wrote “Wonder Woman : Kiss ++”, what does that even mean ?

-That I kissed her in more than one place...but didn’t like...

-Penetrate her.

-Yes, penetrate her. Didn’t do that. 

He says a bit awkwardly. 

-Babe, we’re making a list of people we had sex with and giving each other details about it, so like...stop being so prude about it. Especially since I know “prude” isn’t really your style. 

You wink at him and oh the effect it has on you, to see his Adam’s apple visibly ‘”gulping” at your words...

-...fair enough. Yes. No. I didn’t fuck her.

-”Fuck” out of your mouth, I’m shocked...

He gives you an exasperated look and with a smile you ask :

-So what did you do ?

-Ate her out.

-Did she return the favor ?

-Yes.

-I knew it, she’s more of a giver really.

-How would you know ?

-Look at my number 14.

He does and...his eyes widen, and he shivers slightly. 

-...You ate her out too ?

-Oh yeah. More than once. And we both know now she’s amazing with her tongue.

He makes a strange face and you can’t help but laugh. You approach him again and rub your shoulder against his and, with an over the top wink you raise your eyebrows repeatedly and say :

-Does it make you all hot and bothered ?

-No.

It’s funny, to see him trying to resist you. Trying to act as if he doesn’t feel fazed at all. His short answer and apparent self-control can’t hide the truth for you. You know him. You know he can never resist you much. Besides, the apparent bulge growing in his pants is enough to know he’s lying...

-Reaaaaaaally ?

-Yes.

-Oh. 

You make your “oh” sounds so disappointed that it makes him shift on his spot and you just know the effect you have on him, damn minx...You continue :

-Cause imagining you giving a blowjob to Clark gets me all hot and bothered so like, I’d think the thought of me going down on Wonder Woman would have the same effect on you. And knowing that it’s not just a fantasy like me about you and Clark, that it actually happened...The thought of my tongue swirling in...

-Stop. 

-Or What ? 

He doesn’t answer and you straddle him. He raises his arms and put them away from you, as if he’s afraid to touch you, as if just his hands coming in contact with your body would make him loose his cool. You grind on him shamelessly and he takes a deep breath. With a smirk and the smuggest look you can give him you say : 

-Feeling all hot and bothered now ? 

-To the extent that it’s painful so just stop. 

-...Oh God Bruce, things don’t always have to be painful, just take me already we’ll finish those stupid list later...In fact, at least as far as I’m concerned, I don’t care, because the best one I’ve ever slept with is you, I love you and I...

You don’t have time to finish your sentence. You’re pretty sure he tuned off when you said “just take me” and tried to resist just a few more seconds for good measure...But when he tells you that you’re the only one that ever mattered, and that he loves you more than anything in this damn and crazy world, you realize you’re wrong and it’s not your “take me now” that made him want you, but the fact that he feels love when with you, that you want him for him, that you love him and...Damn he loves you.

_____________________

This was so stupid and bad. Sorry. But I had to..

[ellana-ravenwood]

Anonymous Hate - Bruce Wayne x Reader

So, lately, a lot of writing blogs I LOVE (though I probably don’t say it enough) received anonymous hate...It inspired me to write this piece. I hope you’ll like it, and if I receive anonymous hate for it, oh man, I’m so ready for this...Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy (forgive me if it’s not great, I slept only 4 hours in those last three days, and drunk too much coffee) : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Bruce Wayne’s heart is threatening to beat out of his chest, and he isn’t sure of what he’s feeling right now. 

Anger ? Worries ? Confusion ? 

Does he feel stun ? Or Furious ? 

Sad or scared ? 

Anxious or enraged ? 

He doesn’t know. 

And if there’s one thing Bruce Wayne hates, is to lose control over his own emotions. But he just couldn’t help it. 

He was used to it with you, and only with you did he not mind. 

When it was about you, he just couldn’t have any control of what he felt, and that was alright...Though it was always positive feelings. 

Love. Awe. Adoration. A strong friendship. Passion. Devotion. Respect. Affection. Tenderness. Yearning. Fondness. Adulation...

He was of course always worried about you because 1. since you became a Wayne you also became a target for people who’d want something from him or his company, or for those who wanted a huge ransom and 2. because he’s as much the Batman than Bruce, and if one day his secret identity was to be discovered by any of his enemies, your life would be in a life threatening danger...Well, more that it was already. 

This thought was already almost too much to bear (he broke it off with you in the first few months of your relationship, scared to lose you...until he realized that he would lose you anyway if he left you, and since you accepted him back with wide arms...). 

So now, faced with...All this. It was too real. It was too close from home. 

Both literally and figuratively. 

Because those “things” (he refused to give it the name he knew it actually had) arrived in your house. At Wayne’s Manor. 

He felt like a pregnant woman, as if his hormones were playing tricks on him, because it wasn’t possible that a single human being could feel all those feelings at once, naturally...Right ? 

And yet. And yet here, in front of your desk, reading all those terrible things...

-Bruce ? Are you there ?

Your voice makes him jump, and, startled, he whips around and is faced with you and all your Glory...Oh because you’re nothing but glorious, as the light of the sun going down hits you just right and makes you look like a goddess. 

His Goddess. And oh Bruce is glad that you cannot read minds, because if you could, you would mock him and his cheesiness right now. 

-Oh hey, here you are my heart. Say, for tonight, I was thinking...What is that ? Hey are you alright my Broosh ? 

You approach him, worried because he’s just so pale and he seems almost lost, as his eyes follow you as if it was just an automatic reaction. It’s only when you reach for his face, and stroke his cheek with soft fingers that he finally snap out of his strange haze. He leans in your touch, and, without saying anything, shows you what’s in his hand. 

You look down and...

-Oh. That. I knew I should have burn everything...But I always forget. I receive them with the rest of the fan mail and I just shove it in there promising myself to destroy it, in case you’d find them, and then...I forget, or get too busy with something and then forget. 

Bruce doesn’t answer, and just stares at you. His gaze makes you uncomfortable (which is so rare, only when you feel guilty about something in fact)...And so you add :

-I’m sorry Bruce.

He narrows his eyes at you, and shakes his head. Oh dear, did you anger him ? 

-You’re sorry (Y/N) ? No. No my love, don’t be. I should be the one that’s sorry. I’m so, so, SO sorry I never noticed...those things. I should’ve paid more attention. I knew you were receiving those fan mail from readers who loved your book...I should have made sure that there weren’t anything bad in them. 

You chuckle lowly and get closer to him, you go on your tip toes as he bent down, and give him a small but oh, sweet, so sweet kiss. 

-You can’t protect me from everything honey. 

-Non sense, of course I can. 

-It’s not even that important. 

-Not even that important ? (Y/N), there’s death threat in those ! 

He’s showing you specific letters he seemed to have put on a side

-Yeah and ? It’s not like they would ever act on it, they’re just a bunch of low life trash who got nothing better to do than send hate mail to people they don’t even know. It happens when you start to get known, especially if it’s something artistic. There’s always gonna be people to put you down, and honestly, someone being so cowardly that he sends anonymous hate letters to total strangers ? That someone, if he was in front of me, would probably act as if I was the best thing ever, and when I’d look away, just like, stick his tongue out to me or something. They’re cowards those people. They’re pieces of shit that get a kick out of bullying people. They do this for fun, they feel powerful when they send this kind of letters. But really, they’re just extremely stupid and ignorant people, because I refuse to think anyone with even one brain cell would be this hateful, and there’s that. Again, probably, if I ever see them in real life, they’ll cower under false niceness and then give me the finger when I turn my back.

-Or stab you when you turn your back ! 

-Bruce, you’re being overdramatic babe. 

-I am not (Y/N). This letter says you’re just a stain on this planet, a waste of space, and it would just be better if you’d kill yourself ! This one actually says they’d kill you if they ever see you ! They...

-Oh for God’s sake Bruce it’s just hate mail ! 

Bruce winces at those two words he’d been avoiding for a while. 

Hate mail. 

He couldn’t associate anything with you with the word “hate” in it, and yet...You were receiving hate mail. Anonymous hate mail to be exact. 

And giving it the name it deserved, “hate mail”, made it a reality, but also a potential danger (hate always lead to violence in his book), and that angered him again, but also worried him. 

You can see all the thought process he’s going through and you laugh lightly. The sound of your laughter, that he loves so much, seems to soothe him, if only just a bit. With a smile that makes him melt, you say : 

-It doesn’t mean anything Bruce. It doesn’t even hurt my feelings. And believe me, if I felt that any of those were life threatening, I would have told you ok ? But they’re not. They’re just meant to put me down, to make me sad, to make me want to actually commit suicide ! Those people who writes hate mails, they’re terrible people, and if I wasn’t that merciful, I would say they’re useless but that’s implying they’re a waste of space too and I’m not willing to put myself down on their level. But hear me out my heart...it. Doesn’t. Mean. Anything. I’ve been bullied enough in my life that I’m impermeable to this shit ! And to be honest, it’s even kind of flattering...After all, if people send me hate mail it means I became popular enough as a writer that I make some people jealous haha. And that was my pretentious moment of the year...Besides, don’t worry Bruce... I receive way more compliments or love in letters than hate. And again, it means nothing, I don’t feel a thing when reading those, my days of being hurt because of bullies are over. 

Your husband listened to you, without saying a word, waiting for you to finish and...you just break his heart. Because for you to be able to ignore those awful things people told you, you must have gone through a lot...and he knows you did. He knows your childhood wasn’t the easiest. 

You lost your parents young too, but you didn’t have an Alfred. You weren’t rich. You ended up in a terrible place where you got abused both physically and mentally and...He couldn’t think about it for too long. It made him angry and sad again, and those feeling mixed together were the worst. 

You caress his cheek once more, and wrap your arms around his torso, laying your head on his chest. You take the letters from his hands, you take all those : “you should kill yourself” and “you’re the worst writer ever” or “erase yourself off the face of the Earth” away from him. 

And, you throw everything out in the room, papers flying all around. 

-It’s just ashes in the wind Bruce. I don’t care. I really don't. 

With a deep sigh that makes his chest rumble, he says :

-I know my love, and that’s the problem. You might not see those threats as an actual danger because you’re too used to them, but I do see how it could become dangerous. And I can’t loose you. 

-Bruce you...

-Please let me finish. I know you say you don’t mind, that it doesn’t hurt but...what if one day, in a moment of weakness, you fall on those letters ? What if you decide to commit the irreparable and take your own life ? Neither me nor the kids could ever come back from it. And Alfred either. 

You pull away from him a bit, a can’t help but notice the way his fingers grip the sleeve of your shirt, as if afraid you’d suddenly disappear. It distresses you a bit, to see him in such a state over such a silly thing...

-What if one day, you start to believe all those awful things ? What if I don’t see that you’re depressed and decide to...to end your life ? 

There’s an unnatural crack in his voice, and you realize that...maybe it’s not just a silly thing. Silly things couldn’t put your Bruce in such a state. 

-What if one day you stop listening to the good and loving mail, and starts only to listen to the hate ? What if their words become your truth ? 

His arms are now crushing you against him, with so much force that you have some trouble breathing. He realizes though, and lets go a bit. Just enough for you to breathe properly, that’s all. He keeps you close. 

-I hate the fact that you think this is ok. That it doesn’t hurt or touch you anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to be hurt or anything the like but...For you to be used to be bullying so much that it doesn’t even faze you...It makes my heart bleed. You don’t deserve the hate (Y/N), love of my life. You’re the most passionate, nicest, sweetest, and any positive superlatives I could think of, and you don’t deserve this hate. You deserve all the best. 

You want to say something, but he pulls away from you, takes your face in his hands, and gives you one of the most passionate kiss he ever gave you. Finally, as you catch your breath as best you can, he continues : 

-I...I can’t stand the thought of you ever feeling like you’re worthless. Like you’re less than nothing. Like you’re a waste of space. Because you’re nothing short of perfect. And if you don’t believe me, ask our sons. Ask Alfred. Ask Clark, Diana, J’onn, Hal, Barry, Hell, even ask Bizarro, even him, with his simple mind, can see you’re the most amazing being on this Earth. It will never stop to break my heart to think that anyone ever made you feel like you were nothing, that anyone underestimated you and...

-Bruce, stops...I can’t handle that many compliments at once...

-Which is exactly why I must say them ! I love you (Y/N), from my very core. I love you so much that even thinking for an instant that people sends you hate mail enrages me, as well as saddened me beyond any measure. I cannot think of you as sad. I...You’re my light. I can’t see you tainted in any way...

-Bruce...

-I love you. Please believe me when I say that all this hate, on you and your writing, all this mindless cowardice...it truly means nothing. 

-I know, I told you saw, I don’t feel b...

-No (Y/N). Look at me. 

His hands are still holding your face, and he forces you to look at him, though you need a few minutes before stopping avoiding his gaze. 

-Look at me (Y/N). Look at me. 

And you do. And he doesn’t let your gaze get lost. His eyes are locked on yours, and he tells you everything once again. 

That you mean something. That you’re not worthless. That you’re not a waste of space, not a terrible writer, not a stain on the World or a mistake. That if you kill yourself you will be missed horribly, you’ll tear their hearts apart, him and the boys, and Alfred and...everyone. You’re perfect. You really are. And sure sometimes you’re a bit too sarcastic and sassy, a bit too careless and your glare is too scary but...You’re their damn World. The central pillar of this family. 

-You stole that like from Clark...

-But I mean it even more than he does. You’re our World. And those hate letters...

-I told you Bruce, it doesn’t faze me one bit. I had no intention of ki...

-I am just making sure. 

He can see that you’re trying to hold your tears. But he wouldn’t take it. He knew better than anyone else that sometimes, you needed to let things go and...So he continues. To praise you. To love you. He will continue for eternity if he had too. But he doesn’t. 

You collapse in his arms. You promised yourself you would never cry again for a bully, and you never did...but crying because you’re overwhelmed by love ? That would do. And so you cry. For a long time. And when finally you regain some composure, you only say : 

-I love you Bruce. 

He smiles, and bends down to kiss you when...

-You gotta promise though, never show those damn letters to the boys ! 

He chuckles, and as he kisses you, making a mental note to burn every “hate mail” you ever received once and for all. To make sure you’ll never have to read them again, to make sure you’ll never feel belittle ever in your life again (he would settle a “pre-reading” team the day after, to make sure you’d never actually get hate ever again, to filter anything too negative, not the constructed criticism, no, but the brainless hate that was meant only to hurt you, to get you down and make you feel terrible about yourself). But also to make sure his sons would never discover all that, because they didn’t have the self control their father had (and even him almost lost it to anger and vengeance) and would hunt whoever were those “anonymous” and make them regret their words...Even Tim  and Dick, who were a bit more responsible and had lots of self-control (Damian and Jason would jump right in and hunt them down restlessly), because all of them...Well...

They just loved you too much to let anyone hate you like so. 

Especially not a coward like that. 

...Eh, who was Bruce kidding ? He would eventually find who were those anonymous sender, and would make sure, personally, that they would never write such a letter to anyone ever again. 

Fin.

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This didn’t turn out like I wanted it to. At all. I was planning something at a gala, with medias being bullies and lots of stuffs showing her sassy side more, showing the boys and...instead I wrote that thing. So bad. I feel I wrote Bruce out of character though we all know he can be sensitive and...Yeah this is bad. I need sleep. Might erase come down morning.

[ellana-ravenwood]

Ma Broosh ! - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Not gonna lie, I kinda like how my batmom stories start to be all linked, and here we go @dtobin14​, hope you’ll like the little explanation :

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Never in your entire life did you think you would end up with a man like Bruce Wayne...He was so out of your league. The Golden Boy of Gotham, its “most valuable” bachelor. And you were just...you. Plain and simple. A girl from the Narrows who spent most of her childhood in a shitty orphanage, after her parents’ death, and who literally ran into him one rainy day, falling very un-sexily on her ass in a deep puddle of water. You remembered his smug smile as he helped you up, how it infuriated you at the time, and you almost immediately fell for his charms...he’d never admit it, but he fell for you as soon as his eyes laid on the petite woman who just ran full speed into him, almost knocking herself out. There was something about you...

Maybe it was your common background, your parents’ murder, that brought you close together, or maybe he was just completely crazy, choosing a woman so ordinary like you, while he could have any he wanted. Yes, it must be it, he was crazy. 

-Crazy about you, yes. 

He’d say, making you blush every time. Until one day, you accepted that he chose you, amongst everyone at his “disposition”. That he decided to make you his. To say “I love you” only to you. Only after his explanation as to why he fell in love with you : 

One day, while your insecurities were eating you from the inside (you went to a gala with him, and some rich fuckers just threw in your face that you and Bruce were a “poor match”, not from the same World, therefor, had no future), he explained to you why you should never feel that way ever again. And that the man who said that was jealous of him, and of his amazing girlfriend (after all, he stared at your ass and your cleavage the entire night ! And your wits and sarcasms embarrassed, even humiliated him more than once). 

He explained to you that for him, you were nothing short of perfect. You were the most extraordinary woman in the World. After all, how many people would take the news that he was Batman like you did ? “Oh you’re Batman ? I dig it”. As simple as that. How many people would put up with his shit when he’s having a bad day ? Only you. How many people would talk back to the Dark Knight ? “You’re an idiot, Bruce Wayne.” you’d say, eyes full of defiance, and though you were a foot smaller than him, you weren’t impressed with him at all. You were also the only one he ever met that could keep up with his stamina in bed...at that, you punched his shoulder lightly, and he laughed, looking at you tenderly. 

He would never understand how you could think you were “ordinary”, this word was the furthest in the English language to what you were. You. The girl that stole his heart, even though he always said he’d never get in a relationship because it would get in the Batman’s way...You never got in his way. On the contrary, you helped monitoring the batcomputer most nights, to relieve Alfred a bit.

Yup, you’d never thought once in your life that you’d end up with Bruce Wayne...And yet, here you were, in the batcave, sitting on his back while he was doing push ups, reading a good book. Every now and then, every time he reached another hundred push ups, you kissed his back, not caring at all for the saltiness of his sweaty skin. Almost ten years of a relationship with the Bat, and you liked every bits of it (except maybe when he or one of your sons would come home hurt...that, you highly disliked. Hated, even). 

-So, where do you want to go for our anniversary ? 

-I don’t really care Bruce, anywhere really. Hell, we could just stay here, order some take away, sent the kids somewhere, give Alfred the day off, and just enjoy each others ! 

-That sounds great, but taking you out and showing you off to tons of jealous bastards sounds great too. Besides, isn't ten years a big milestone or something ?

You roll your eyes, and lay on your stomach, your legs on his, your head on his shoulder, your arms wrapping around his neck, as he was still going up and down. That man was a machine. 

-Ten years or one, it’s all the same...Besides, Bruce, I don’t think anyone is jealous of you for having me. However, showing you off in front of those damn stupid rich models who wants y...

-You’re cute when you’re jealous. And I’d be jealous of me if I didn’t have you...

He manages to twist his neck to kiss your cheek, and you scoff. 

-Careful Wayne, you know me, don’t push the jealousy thing. 

-I won’t. So ? 

-...Let me check on the internet the best restaurants in Gotham alright ? 

-I already know the best restaurant in Got...

-According to the “plebe”. Like, normal people. Not rich. You know, hamburgers, hot dogs, street food that’s really good...So that we can just enjoy each other without much paparazzis, but still go out because you wanna. 

-Oh. Ok. Yeah. Alright. 

You kiss his shoulder and stand up, as he continues his damn push ups, and you go sit in his chair in front of the batcomputer.

You glare at Damian when you hear him whisper : “God they’re finally done with their disgusting PDA, like, sweaty kisses are even grosser than their usual kisses” to Tim, and the boy smiles at you, as if nothing just happened, while his brother tries to muffle his chuckle. 

You get on the bat computer, and start your search for the best food truck in Gotham, determined to have a great anniversary made of junk food, walk incognito around the city and later on, sex. Lots of sex. So much lovemaking your sons will avoid the west wing of Wayne Manor until you’re done, too disgusted by the sounds you make, and afraid they’d walk in on you somehow. 

****************

-...I thought you were suppose to look for a place to go for our anniversary honey. 

You jump at your husband’s voice, who was finally done with training, and look at him guiltily. 

While searching for a place to go eat, you got distracted by a funny image...and one leading to another, you were now just scrolling through pages and pages of memes and such. Damian was sitting in your laps, and Tim was leaning on one side of the chair, one of his hand supporting himself on your shoulder (Dick and Jason were out with friends that day...or their girlfriends you weren’t really sure, it changed so many times).

-Hum...I was...and then I got...side tracked. 

He smiles at you. How typical of you to forget what you were doing because something distracted you...He had to admit though, it was cute. Especially with his sons surrounding you with their affection. 

-Father, we found you. And Alfred.

-Uh ? 

-Look. 

He does...and the face he makes sent you and your children in a crazy fit of laughter. Damian was showing a picture of a bat being brushed by a toothbrush, with written “brushy brushy” on it (you can see it : here)

-The hand that brushes it is Alfred, and the bat is you. 

-Yes, I understood...

At first not amused, he cannot resist to smile at you guys because you can’t seem to stop laughing at your own joke, and you’re all quite cute. It’s rare, that any of you could have a carefree moment just together...

-Brushy Brushy Brucie. Oh no, I don’t like it, doesn’t sound good...Brushy brushy Master Wayne. Erf...

****************

Very quickly, Bruce’s amusement disappear, as you keep trying combination of “brushy brushy” and a stupid nickname based on his name...and the way your sons snicker at him annoys the Hell out of him. He gets grumpy, which makes all of you laugh even harder, and he knows he lost the fight before even beginning it. He goes back to his training, and then goes for a cold shower...you joined him in, under the horrified look of your sons that see you sneak in the shower where their father went (they quickly ran out of the bat cave after that, taking refuge in the kitchen where Alfred make them tea and cookies). 

You made sure that he forgave you under that shower...

*****************

Later that day, you’re both cuddling each other in your shared bed, naked skin against naked skin, just enjoying each other’s presence when...

-Brushy brushy...

-Oh my God (Y/N), would you drop it already ?! Or I’m not taking you out for our anniversary.

-You’re the one that wanna go out smart guy. I’m perfectly fine with staying here with you.

-Alright then, no sex on that day if you keep going. 

-You could think of threats a bit more believable honey, cause I’m not buying that. You couldn’t resist.

-Try me. 

-Are you sure you want me to try you ?

-...No ? 

-That’s what I thought...Broosh. Brushy brushy Broosh. My Broosh. Oh. OH ! 

-Oh no...

-OH YES ! It sounds great ! 

-(Y/N), no. 

-(Y/N), yes ! Brushy Brushy Broosh ! 

You say, while sitting up in your bed, straddling him, and ruffling his hair with your hands. 

-Brushy Brushy Brooooooooosh !! 

-No, stop, oh my g...Stop, STAAAAAAAAP !! 

You tousle his hair even harder, making a mess of his beautiful black strands, when he finally gets you off of him, your hands out of his thick locks. He pins you under him, your wrist above your head. 

-Would you stop goddamnit ?! 

You just smile at him, and giggle like a kid. Against his will, he melts a bit for you, his heart skipping a beat at the beautiful sound of your little childish laugh...He let’s go of your wrists, and your hand immediately shoots up to cup his cheek, stroking it gently. His own fingers goes to your cheek, putting behind your ears wild strands of (H/C) hair, skimming his fingers over the soft skin of your face, your lips...

He bents down to kiss you, and your free hand tangles itself in his hair. You smile in the kiss, even as it gets hungrier, and when he feels you tug lightly at his hair, he pulls away. 

-Ma Broosh.

-I have to find a stupid nickname for you now, my love...

-Broosh isn’t stupid, it’s cute. Like you. 

-It sounds silly. And I’m not cute, I’m a dangerous and tough vigilante. 

-No. You’re my Broosh, my handsome and cute husband, who puts up with me even when I’m super annoying. Like right now. 

-You’re not annoying me.

-You’re a bad liar. 

-I’m a great liar. 

-Not with me then. 

-There’s a lot of things I’m good at usually, that I find suddenly lacking when you’re around...

-Like your dangerosity and toughness ? 

-Shut up. 

-Broosh fits you. 

-It doesn’t. 

-Yes it does. Why do you loose some of your abilities when around me ? 

-Because I’m head over heels for you, too in love, and it makes me stupid. 

-See, “Broosh” is fitting then. 

He rolls his eyes, and you stop caressing his cheek to raise up on your elbows. You reach to kiss him, and he responds. Of course he does.  

-Alright then. Broosh. Only when it’s you and me then. 

-Deal my lovely Brooshy.

-No, no that’s too much. 

-You’re right, I’ll stick with Broosh. 

Your smile makes his heart race, even after years of marriage, years of relationship...you still made him feel like a schoolboy in love with the girl of his dreams, way out of his league. He’d never understand how you could think you were ordinary...He goes to kiss you again.

-I love you (Y/N).

-I love you too...my Broosh. 

And on that notes, he jumps on you, his hands touching you every where, his lips not missing an inch of skin. 

******************

With the years going by, the “brushy brushy” thing felt into oblivion, but the “my Broosh” sticked around, and became your little nickname to him when it was just the two of you. You both completely forgot where it even came from, but it was always there in your moment of intimacy. “My Broosh”. He would never admit it, but he loved it when you called him that...

[ellana-ravenwood]

Fun fair with the Family - Batmom x Batfam (REPOST please READ the explanation right under the summary :-( )

Summary : Batmom decides to take her family to the fun fair…She quickly realizes it might not be her best idea ever.

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

Repost because, and this time I really don’t know how, the original post got erased...BUT I had it backed up for once. So here. FUCK. Hum. Sorry. But it had almost 100 notes, and comment people left I didn’t even had time to read because the story simply disappeared...I’m a bit bummed out right now...Is it too much to ask if you could like, reblog and comment again ? I kinda feel bad, it’s not my style to ask those things...I’m so sorry for that, but it’s a bit discouraging, to write something, and to see that apparently it was liked, but to not know who liked it, what were the comments etc etc, especially since this time, I didn’t do anything, the story simply disappeared...Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy, and re-enjoy if you already read it :’-( : 

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Not even an hour in, and you know you made a huge mistake bringing them here. All at the same time. They were going to be the death of you, so much energy…But it was just so rare that you all had some free times at once…You just wanted to spend some time with them.

It all started so well though.

*******************

You woke up in the best way possible : with your Bruce’s lips trailing kisses on your neck, shoulders and back, his arms wrapped around you. You shifted around, and before you could say anything, he kissed your temple, the corner of your mouth, slowly putting butterfly kisses on your face, to finally kiss you on the lips.

You melted in the kiss, and squeezed his large frame against you, your arms struggling to wrap around him. Damn that man was big. When he pulls away, you can’t help but grin at him, and he gives you the smile he only reserved to you. A real, pure smile. You nuzzle his neck, and he let out a contended sigh.

-You’re alright ?

-More than alright my love, as always when you’re here.

-My sweet Broosh. You know what I mean.

-I am alright. Not even a single bruise or scratch. The boys are too. Calm night.

-I like those.

-I like you.

-I love you.

-Oh yeah, that too. I love you (Y/N).

-Well, here’s for our morning’s cheesy ritual…We probably should get up.

-I have the entire day off.

-Oh ? Well then, what’s the hurry right ?

He smiles once more at you, and you crash your lips on his, climbing on him to straddle him. One of his hand tangles itself in your (H/L) (H/C) hair, the other goes to your waist and his grip is almost bruising. He cannot stop himself, you always had a strong and immediate effect on him…He rolls on top of you, and you wrap your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist.

-What’s the hurry indeed.

********************

-Can I change bedroom ? Because I need sleep, and I realized that choosing the bedroom just down the hall from yours was a mistake. I think I understand now why the others have their bedroom at the other side of the Manor. You guys are so loud.

Bruce chokes on his coffee, and you turn all kind of shades of red. Give it to Damian to be brutally honest like that…His brothers hesitate between being disgusted (reminding themselves why they also switched bedrooms from the master bedroom’s floor to the opposite aisle of the house), and bursting out laughing, Alfred and his childish giggle convince them to howl in laughter.

You look at your husband, quite horrified, and he shifts awkwardly on his seat, the fork full of eggs he was going to eat still half way through between his plate and his mouth…He says :

-Yes, of course you can change room.

-Great, because really, my dear parents, you’re mak…

-OOOoooook, subject close.

-Yes Dams, subject close. You’re going to make it weird again.

-I never make it weird Grayson ! I think it’s gross too, they just have to know that they’re a nuisance when together, that we can hear them from the gard…

Bruce cuts his son off, putting his large hand on his mouth, and says :

-Let’s not talk about this anymore, instead, let’s talk about the fact that today, we’re all completely free and we should do something together ! 

You freeze at Bruce’s words. “All completely free” ? Could it be ? This hasn’t happened for almost seven months ! You definitely had to do something as a family ! Before one of your sons could say he had plan, you throw in the idea of going to Gotham’s fun fair, without really thinking about it (maybe if you had, things would have gone differently). You even convince Alfred to come with you, because come on, he’s definitely part of the family. When you say he’s “like the dad you never had”, you swore you saw tears welling up in his eyes, as he rushed to put the dirty breakfast dishes in the dishwasher…

Your sons are excited, Bruce seems ok with the plan (as long as he’s with you, his sons, or Alfred, he’s always OK), and you’re just too happy at the prospect of spending a day with your family !

*********************

As you all were wearing casual clothes, almost unfashionable for some of you (Bruce and his black sweatpants, baseball cap and oversized hoodie…oh, what were you saying, that man always looked good), no paparazzis bothered you. They just couldn’t even fathom the fact that the great Wayne family would go out in ripped jeans, flannels, sweat pants, and old shirt that seemed to be a thousand years old ! You guys were always classy !

It was so good, to not be recognize. You could all be yourselves without fearing a silly picture to be posted in every papers the next day !

Like right now, in the fun house, making faces at each others, laughing your asses off when one would fall on a “trap”, dancing as if no one was watching to the stupid circus song that kept playing over and over again. You all had some great move. You completely lost it when Alfred, finally loosing his English phlegm, did the “arms wave dance” with your boys.

You could hug and kiss your Bruce without fearing articles being written the next day, with the pictures, judging you guys’ relationship…Everything was just great ! Your sons though, kept rolling your eyes at you two, whispering, or plainly saying out loud : “Get a room”, “PDA !!!” and other “Ew, gross”.

Damian won a gigantic teddy Bear for you at some darts game, that was bigger than him, and you thought it was the most hilarious thing ever to see him carry it all around the fun fair. The boy refused the help of his brothers and father, so he deserved his struggle, and damn, it was just too cute. He had to twist his neck on the side to be able to see where he was going, because that damn bear was so large ! When you thanked him with a kiss on the forehead, he looked just so proud of himself that it melted your heart a little bit. That boy.

Jason, making all of you laugh, won some water guns at the “hook-a-duck” game, that was suppose to be for little kids. Of course, the rest of the warm summer day was spent spraying each other.

Tim got thrown out of the “magic house” as he made it a mission to debunk absolutely every single “creatures” in it, and explained every single trick, in details, the magicians were performing. The owner, a very fat, dirty and bald character, grabbed him by the collar, and Bruce almost knocked the man out, no one was touching his babies ! …Fortunately, you got a hold of him before he could do anything, and Tim handled himself. You could understand the owner though, because your son was being a total buzzkill, and every visitors were leaving his attraction…

Dick decided to “test his strength” by using one of those machines where you put a couple of quarters in, and a ball would come down for you to punch, and then a number would tell you how “strong” you were. All the boys did it, even Alfred…Dick punched the hardest, breaking the score that was the highest before he tried…Until Bruce tried too, and broke the machine because he punched too hard. He apologized to the owner of the machine, and gave him check for him to buy another one.

Everything was just great.

Until your sons’ energy was a bit too much. They wanted to do EVERYTHING. As soon as they finished an attraction, they were running to the next one, and you realized that you were not fit to follow them…But then a day that was starting to be too exhausting for you to really appreciate your family’s presence, too much at the same time, while it started so great..turned perfect.

Bruce gave you a piggy back ride through the fun fair, and things were good again. You could follow your children with ease, comfortably snuggled against his back, and you had easy access to his neck, jaw, temple and hair…All the places he liked to be kissed and caressed. Bonus point because your actions grossed out your sons a lot.

You were so glad you decided to go to the fun fair everything was so perfect…a few other accidents happened besides Bruce broking the punching machine, and Tim being thrown out of the magic house.

Damian punched a man disguised as a werewolf in the haunted house, because he jump scared him, and you guys all ran out of the place…until he realized he forgot his giant teddy bear inside, and went back in, just to punch the werewolf man once again because the fool was trying to grab him, while yelling “SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE PLEASE”…You avoided the Haunted House area until the end of the day.

Jason ate too many candies, and threw up everything after he went on the tea cups attraction…You couldn’t help but telling him : “I told you son”, as, indeed, you warned him all day that he was going to get sick with all this sugar combined with fun fair stuffs. Even the carousel made him gag…

Dick almost got punched in the face for flirting with the girlfriend of some very jealous guy. Of course, he didn’t realized the girl had a boyfriend. He escaped with a laugh that infuriated the dude, and a few backflips that impressed the girl…and was able to slip his number in her pocket. Of course he would.

Tim got stuck in the “hamster wheel” of one of the fun house because Damian kept throwing his giant teddy bear at him…and both you and Bruce had to separate them before they would get in a violent fist fight. You made them hold hands the rest of the day as a punishment. Yours and your husband constant snickering towards them got the lesson through their head. Alright, no more fighting…in front of the parents.

And finally, the boys convinced Alfred to go with them in the biggest roller coaster on the fair, even though their favorite butler kept refusing their proposal as he said “rollercoasters made him sick”…He just couldn’t resist them. He considered them his grandchildren, he felt obligated to please them. And so here you all were, on a gigantic rollercoaster and…Damian, who was sitting next to Alfred, turned, and the panic on his face scared you.

-MOM, DAD, PENNYWORTH JUST FAINTED !!!! AL’ !! HE’S NOT OK !!

You all rushed around your loved butler to see if he was alright at the end of the ride, and with a weak voice, as he was waking up, he just said :

-I told you those made me sick…I don’t like heights too much…

And that marked the end of your day. It was getting quite late anyway, almost time for patrol. Dick and Jason supported Alfred back to the car, and Bruce went behind the wheel, forbidding his dear butler to drive, and once you all got home, he forced him to go take some rest.

Your boys felt extremely guilty that they almost broke their Al’…

********************

Before going to sleep, you checked on Alfred, bringing him some hot tea…that he never drunk as he was already in a deep slumber when you came in his room. You put the blanket back up to his neck, and with a kiss on your adoptive father’s forehead, you felt him, leaving a note telling him that if he needed anything he should just ring you, even though you knew he probably would never do it…

You went to bed late, but not late enough for your children and husband to be home, and you slipped into your king sized bed alone.

It was alright though, you knew your Bruce was going to warm the place next to you soon enough (you hoped it would be another “calm night”)…And the day you spent with him and all yours boys charged you up so much on family time that it was fine.

You made a mental note to take them to the fair again some day, but after a very exhausting night, so that their energy would be a bit lower.

********************

The sun was already rising in the sky when you felt Bruce’s side of the bed shifting, and his arms wrapping around you, squeezing you on his naked chest.

-Calm night ?

You asked hesitantly.

-Very calm. Bruise and scratch less.

You smiled, and turned around into his embrace so that you’d face him.

-Good. I like those.

-I like you.

-I love you.

-Yeah, that too. I love you (Y/N).

You stare at each other for a bit, each enjoying the presence of the love of your life, until a mischievous smile appears on your face :

-The night was calm enough to leave you with some energy ?

-You betcha sweetheart.

And on that note, he is on you, his lips crashed on yours, and his hand roaming your body. Damn you loved that man. And if you could hear his thoughts, what his heart said, you’d realize he loves you even more.