#[ this is SO MUCH LONGER than i intended for it to be and i'm /so sorry/. ]

[autismswagsummit]

On Season 2, and the continuation of this blog.

I've been thinking about how to address Season 2 on this blog for a while now. Obviously, it didn't end up happening for the blog anniversary as expected, and there hasn't been any signs of it here since. I feel dishonest for stoking false hopes, and as such it feels essential to clear up confusion on the status of the next season.

As you know, this blog only has 1 operator. I'm not looking for secondary mods at the present, and even if I was I wouldn't know heads from tails as to who to ask. This means that I am solely responsible for all blog maintenance and running the polls. On top of issues pertaining to my real life, I simply haven't had the time or energy to set up the second season yet, especially since it's going to take a much larger scale than the first.

I'd also like to say that I'm not going anywhere. We aren't deactivating the blog or going radio silent forever, this is just a notice saying that Season 2 likely won't be for a while longer while I manage some personal stuff that can't be put off for the sake of running a tumblr competition. I do want Season 2 to happen, I don't want to leave everyone hanging and I especially don't want this blog to go cold without so much as a notice as to why.

To summarize:

Season 2 is coming, likely some time this summer as I won't have the free time for it for a while

I've been absent because there's only 1 of me, and I've been too busy with other matters to manage this blog at the same time

I'm not deactivating the blog, nor do I ever intend to

Thank you all for your patience in sticking around, and I'll see you again in Season 2.

[bloodyhoon]

request ideas; jake having a half aussie half korean gf who's visiting korea with him and she's going out wearing too much revealing clothes which jake gets annoyed and says you can't wear that out in korea AND I QUOTE "I'm fine with everything in australia but in here you can wear it only if you want me to punch every guy that will approach you tonight" kind of shit which she find amusing and annoys him even moreeee and it ends up in rough sex

hi okay anon let me kiss you for this i have fun writing, I hope you like it

pairing: boyfriend! jaeyun x reader

warnings: possesive and jealousy jaeyun, brat reader, jaeyun is mad, a lot of teasing, dirty talk, unprotected sex, crying, morally wrong things yk. english is not my first language so there may be grammal or spelling errors.

words: 2.5K (again longer than I intended)

---

the vacation in korea with your boyfriend jaeyun was going perfectly. you had visited your family who lived there and then you had visited some friends that you hadn't seen in a while, who invited you to go out that night to celebrate because you had not seen each other for a long time and because that would be the last night of the two of you in korea before returning to australia to your normal lives. of course, on your last night there, you would all have a great time hanging out at some bars before getting drunk and entering a famous club and dancing all night until you were tired, so the occasion called for a stunning outfit and that unfortunately your jealous and possessive boyfriend did not approve.

"you're not going out like that" his words were stern and his gaze was cold as he scanned your body from head to toe seeing how revealing your dress was.

"oh yeah?" you gave him a cocky smile through the mirror while you touched up your black mascara. when you separated from the mirror you looked at yourself for a few seconds, yes, maybe the dress was somewhat revealing since it was too tight to your body, the skirt barely covered your butt and the neckline gave a perfect view of your breasts. "don't you like it?" you turned in your place facing him. his gaze went to every corner of your curvy body, internally suffering from having such a hot girlfriend and having other people see you the same way he did.

"of course I like it" he approached you with slow steps, his gaze showed annoyance."that's why you can't go out dressed like that, I can't allow anyone else to see you." you laughed at his absurd words, you let him approach you and hold you by the waist.

"well, what a shame because i'm not going to change, baby." you rested your hands on his shoulders.

"listen to me, when we return to australia you can dress like this and any way you want, but not here. here men are a thousand times worse, they are fucking perverts and you know it" his grip on your waist tightened along with his harsh words. "If you come out dressed like that here i'll have to punch every damn guy who gets too close to you." those crude words awakened something inside you. you secretly loved seeing jaeyun jealous and being possessive, so you wouldn't waste the opportunity to push him to his limit.

(***)

the loud music of the club and the low lights around you gave you the perfect mood that you wanted to spend your last night there. after a few drinks with your friends you got into the crowd and you moved your body to the rhythm of the music sensually knowing that everyone's eyes were on you and you loved that attention.

“hey, y/n” you gave your attention to your friend next to you who pointed her head at someone behind you with a confused look. you turned in your place and a guy close to your age had approached you with a glass in his hand, smiling charismatically at you in search of your attention.

"what's your name, beautiful?" he approached you from behind and spoke in your ear, his deep voice was attractive. you turned and looked him in the eyes.

"i'm y/n, my pleasure" you smiled at him, you didn't even ask him his name because you weren't really interested. you knew this was the moment you had been waiting for all night. you just wanted your boyfriend, who without seeing him you knew was with his friends a few meters away from you, to notice the situation. you wanted to tease him.

"pretty name" the guy was shameless. his eyes were on your breasts and one of his hands had rested on your lower back almost above your butt. it was really quite annoying and unpleasant, but you could bear it if it meant having the expected reaction from jaeyun. “do you want to go somewhere quieter, y/n?”

"a quieter place? what do you have in mind?" you removed the unpleasant feeling it caused you from your mind and asked, showing interest. the unknown guy smiled at you cockily and approached you to talk to you, but he never managed to. you felt an arm hugging your waist and your back crashing hard against the chest of the person behind you. your heart raced and you swallowed hard. you knew who was the owner of that possessive grip.

"do you think you'd take my girlfriend somewhere?" you were surprised by his calm but mocking tone of voice. you knew from the other guy's look that he wasn't someone who liked trouble and he quickly backed away.

"oh man, i'm sorry, i thought she was alone." he apologized but noticed that jaeyun was no longer paying attention to him since his dark gaze was fixed on you after having stood in front of you, so he took advantage of the situation and ran away from you.

"that's all?" you asked to your boyfriend. he didn't make a face, he just stared at you, grabbed your arm and pulled you close to his body, standing at the level of your ear.

"poor guy, it's not his fault that my girlfriend likes to provoke me like the whore she is deep down." he spoke over the music and from his tone you could tell he was angry. very angry. "i told you not to go out dressed like that and not only did you do it, but you also teasing me. are you getting what you were looking for?" he walked away from you and looked down at your lips, noticing the small smile you were trying to hide. "we're leaving, now." he practically dragged you all the way to the exit, completely ignoring the screams and looks that your friends gave you, who didn't understand what had happened and why you were leaving the place so quickly.

(***)

the entire way back to where you were staying was silent and tense. it didn't mean that jaeyun hadn't been a gentleman, opening every door for you and holding your hand gently although then he was going to drag you next to him until you were both in the bedroom. jaeyun was taking off his shirt when you, standing by the door taking off your shoes, began to laugh quietly attracting his attention. he knew that you were laughing at the current situation and you knew that he would not stay silent, so you looked him in the eyes while you continued laughing. that was the last straw, making him approach you and trapping you in his arms leaning your body on the furniture that was next to the door.

"you're having a lot of fun teasing me, right?" his tone of voice was cold, giving you chills.

"a little, yeah" you shrugged, already feeling excitement bubbling in your chest and stomach as jaeyun leaned over you, resting his hands on the wall behind you. you of course were happy with what you had achieved, completely ignoring that it stressed your boyfriend out, even though deep down he enjoyed it.

"let's see how long the fun lasts for you then" with one of his hands he moved some of the decorations that were on the furniture behind your back, leaving the space free, then he brought his hands to your butt and effortlessly lifted your body, sitting you on the furniture. "because you always laugh a lot after pushing me to my limit, but then you can't stand it" a small arrogant smile began to grow on his face as his hands move down your now bare legs because the dress had bunched up at your waist. he dug his fingers into your thighs and he moved closer to you. "I hope to hear you keep laughing" your breath hitched in your throat when one of his hands grabbed the back of your neck and crashed his lips to yours hard, tangling his fingers in your soft hair. you gasped when his teeth wrapped around your bottom lip, pulling on it and almost hurting you. “you really like everyone's attention on you, right?” but you like male attention more because deep down you're just a little slut who likes to make me angry." his words were harsh but you adored him, it turned you on so much that he mistreated you so you couldn't wipe the small smile off your face. you let out a whimper when he lightly tugged on your hair, forcing you to look him in the eyes. "well, i hope my full attention is enough for you." his lips went to your neck where he left gentle kisses, and then bit that spot he had kissed and sucked on your skin making you moan. your hands pressed against his bare chest and he released his grip on the back of your neck, holding your hands and moving them away from him, you moaned in protest and jaeyun moved his face away from your neck, looking at you mockingly. “don’t complain” he warned.

"but I want to touch you" he completely ignored you, stepping back a little in his place. having him in front of you was exciting, seeing him with his naked torso standing firm between your legs that were hanging from the furniture, his look was serious and his lips were somewhat red and swollen while his hair was slightly disheveled. he was so attractive that you felt the wetness between your legs increase and almost drip onto the furniture.

"you'll keep that damn slutty dress on and i'll fuck you right here until you forget your own name, okay? you'll cum on my cock even if you don't deserve it." along with those words, he brought his hands to your knees, forcing you to open your legs more and pressing his body against yours, rubbing the hard bulge of his pants against your soaked underwear. his hands went up your thighs again, caressing them and stopped at your underwear.

"yes, quickly, please" the words came rushing out of your mouth as you grabbed one of his hands, bringing it to your pussy. he let himself be guided by you and touched your pussy over your underwear.

"you're so wet, I see you're more than ready" his eyebrow arched slightly. "does this turn you on that much? damn-"

“a lot” you admitted. he removed his hand from your pussy and you moaned in frustration.

"stop complaining like a bitch and take what I give you even if you don't deserve it." with both hands he pulled on your underwear and you heard the sound of the fabric tearing, leaving your soaked pussy free. “do you want me to fuck you hard?” he said against your lips.

"yes, please do it" you tried to kiss him but he pulled away. "please" you repeated, you were deeply frustrated but you knew you couldn't complain because you had brought it on yourself.

"are you begging now? what happened to that arrogant attitude from earlier? i'm barely touching you." with his hand returning to your pussy, he caressed that spot superficially and you squirmed in place. "should I fuck you now or make you beg more?"

"i'll beg you all you want, but please fuck me right now" you whimpered without a trace of shame, moving your hips against his fingers. he let out a laugh and placed a peck on your lips. you moved your hands to his pants and unbuttoned them with desperate hands, you pulled them down a little along with his underwear and held his hard and pulsing cock with your hand, pumping him quickly. "please jaeyun, i need y-" he grabbed your hand, forcing you to let go of his cock and sighed softly.

"such a slut, shut up" he growled. with his own hand he held his cock and lined it up at your entrance, entering you in one thrust and stretching your walls in the most pleasant way. you choked out a scream and grabbed his arms for stability. "wrap me" his hands squeezed your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his hips making him sink deeper into you and hit that sweet spot inside you that made you roll your eyes. your mouth opened letting out moans when he hit inside you harshly, squeezing your waist with his hands, your walls pressing on his hard cock. you began to feel little by little how your orgasm was forming inside you and going down your legs that were pressed against his sides. "does it feel good?" his breathing was labored, he scoffed as you mumbled meaningless words and leaned your head against the wall behind you. he brought his hand to the back of your neck and again grabbed a fistful of your hair, pressing your forehead to his. "answer me"

"yes, yes, jaeyun, it feels so good" you moaned. his pace didn't slow down and he brought his other hand between your bodies, rubbing your clit harshly bringing you to the edge "i want to cum, let me do it" he ignored you completely and kissed you hard with his tongue entering your mouth and kissing you disastrously. your legs began to tremble and he knew you were about to cum so he stopped his movements and removed his hand away from your pussy. “you said you would let me cum” you separated your lips from his and your eyes filled with tears at the rush of your pleasure. he placed a short kiss on your lips while breathing heavily and looked into your red, tear-filled eyes. without warning he quickly entered you again and you let go of more meaningless words mixed with torturous moans.

"do you want to cum?" he watched your entire weak body shake because of his thrusts and that made him want to increase the pace even more.

"i need it" you nodded many times watching his dark eyes stare at you.

"but you don't deserve it" he bit his lower lip, holding back his own moans that wanted to leave his body.

"I promise I will never make you angry again, please let me cum." you begged him, squeezing his biceps in your hands, digging your nails in his skin. those words were empty and lacking in sincerity, you both knew it perfectly, but inevitably jaeyun felt satisfied after hearing you begging and then nodded.

"fine, you can cum" then he started to fuck you even harder and you closed your eyes tightly letting the tears of pleasure slide down your cheeks. "i'm the only one who can fuck you like this, not any damn guy that tries to take you to his bed, you understand? you'll never find anyone who knows your body like I do, darling."

"I w-would never go with a-another guy" you tried with everything to open your eyes but it was impossible. "I'm cumming" you said. his lips let out a loud moan when you painted his cock with your fluids and after that you felt his cock tremble and cum in your hole filling you up. he continued rocking his hips into you, riding out his high until he stopped completely. you opened your eyes heavily and noticed that he now had his eyes closed and that a thin layer of sweat was glistening on his face, his breathing was irregular and the grip on your waist had loosened.

"you drive me crazy, in so many ways" he murmured after sighing heavily, still with his eyes closed. you let out a laugh and then hugged him by the shoulders and caressed his back, making him relax into your touch.

send me request for enhypen, stray kids and zb1.

[lightlycareless]

omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos 🥺 We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all 😅 And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime 🥺 he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit

Heya anon!!

I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol

I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first 😅 oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...

Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean 😏I've had this in my mind so... yeah 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')

Happy reading!

As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didn’t rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zen’in, and keep it a secret, it wouldn’t take long before the guilt in each other’s mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.

“Where—Where does this accusation even come from?!” You gasp, blood turning cold at the implication—at the notion of the truth. “Do you know the gravity of such words?!”

“Better than you of the act, it seems.” Another accuses. “We were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!”

“I—I won’t tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!” you cry. “Nor will Naoya for that matter!”

But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.

A supposed act of mercy.

He shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, should’ve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Toji—the man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?

But he didn’t, he allowed you to go to Toji—no, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.

Consequences he did not like, not one bit—because it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Toji’s child, and not his.

And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.

Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.

He loved you, he really did—Naoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone else…

But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldn’t take it anymore.

And thus….

“…Naoya?”

“This marriage was broken before it even started.” Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. “My family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.”

“What—what are you even saying?” you breathe. “What do you mean by—by differently?”

And… where does everything you lived with him stand?

The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings he’d whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that compares…

And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this way—loved— and would do everything in the world to make happy…

Was it… all … a lie?

All for… nothing?

Or were you the only one that actually believed the other’s words?

“I cannot look past these transgressions.” Naoya continues. “You’ve left me no choice.”

“But you—you made me do this!” you gasp. “I never—I never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you!  How could you—how could you abandon me after all we’ve gone through together?!”

Naoya doesn’t say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desired—banish you from the estate.

Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldn’t be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didn’t even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your own—alone, pregnant.

Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that you’d bring upon their name was one the Zen’in didn’t not waste time to remind them of—at the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that you’ve succumbed to such foul thing.

And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your account—but most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husband’s indifference inflicted on it.

The pain you couldn’t even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.

The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.

Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but you’re not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.

Naoya’s ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zen’in.

You remember a time when any kind of ring would’ve been enough for you to marry him. You didn’t need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.

That’s nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.

It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring… well, had dubious origins.

When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water…?

Many years—it had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, he’s been the one that took care of you.

You just had to say the word and he’d disappear all of your worries—even from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.

It was a happy life you eventually considered for your child—imagining how happy they’d grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what they’ll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.

A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.

…

Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?

Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?

There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husband…

Maybe ex-husband, by this point.

All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.

The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.

And yet… you’ve never felt so alone.

Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you would’ve wanted.

Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when it’s been months since… that.

But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant women—they’re supposed to be at home, some would say, you didn’t care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.

As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and that’s without considering the medical bills you’re struggling to pay as well.

But if that wasn’t enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.

You’re not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisition—all cash—of the small house you were living in.

From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.

Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.

However, what you want isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand who’d be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!

And you’d get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you could’ve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.

“Get—get away from me!” you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strength— but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.

“Y/N—” he breathes, somewhat amused that you’d been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.

“What are you even doing here?!” you gasp. “No—that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to see you! I’m not going back!”

“I’m not here to take you back” He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothes—with this sight, he knows he can’t take you back.

“Then—then why are you here, Toji?”

Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.

He wasn’t there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.

Toji would’ve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasn’t of his making.

For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.

And the baby… well, he won’t deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from his—with you as his mother, it couldn’t be any other way.

Or so he believed.

Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.

Toji’s slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousin’s annoying voice—there were moments where he imagined how delightful it must’ve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoya’s; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didn’t deserve you.

But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.

Not like now, gone from Naoya’s side.

In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husband’s idiocies.

Nothing.

And no one had seen you either.

Or more like didn’t want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.

At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and he’d get the same answer.

The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomach…

And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.

“Naoya—Where is Y/N?!” Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. “Do not run away, coward! Answer me!”

“She’s—she’s not here anymore.” Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesn’t need to be reminded the obvious.

“Where. Is. She.” He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. “What have you done to her?!”

“What—what needed to be done!” Naoya gasps. “I—I couldn’t allow it!”

Toji doesn’t remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her own—only that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.

No. It couldn’t be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.

Nonetheless Toji didn’t bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldn’t even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.

It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didn’t fit to do the job—and such, here he is now.

“I want—needed to see you.” Toji takes a step closer.

“Get—get away from me.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“You were fine doing that before—what’s so different from now?” You spat.

“This is different, Y/N. You’re alone—and you need me.”

“I’m not alone—I don’t need you.” You gasp. “Get away from me or I’ll—I’ll call the police!.”

“If you don’t need me, then the baby does.”

It’s like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.

Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.

But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.

“Get— get away from me…!” you’d say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesn’t fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m not leaving” Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesn’t allow it. “You can struggle all you want, but I’m not leaving you on your own—”

“What difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!” you breathe, Toji’s eyes widen—he did not know that; his fury for the Zen’in grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. “They don’t care if I die on the street!”

“I know.” He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.

“And I—And I tried my best to—to move on, but I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sob. “I’m so alone, and scared, and—and ashamed! I don’t want to live like this anymore!! I don’t want to die!”

“…I know.”

“Why—why is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was for—was for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I just—I just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!

But then he—he tossed me away, at one thing he didn’t like, he acted like I didn’t even matter! He didn’t even put up a fight to defend me! he just—he just let them hurt me, like what we had was—a lie!

 Did he never—did he even love me?”

Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoya’s betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.

And all because of something you didn’t even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoya’s mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.

He wanted to do it; you know?

He wanted to go back there and murder them for all they’d done against you.

But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is right—what was needed.

If Naoya wasn’t to step up and be a man, then he would.

Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.

Things your husband, could simply not—but he… he’d do it in a heartbeat.

“I promise you.” Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

 “I swear, Y/N— I will not let my family do the same things they’ve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.”

And unlike your husband, he means it.

Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.

Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...

agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!

Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!

Take care, and see you soon! ❤️❤️

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Marching straight up to this clinic to ask to have my big fat titties get chopped off! I'm so nervous but so excited that I'm finally doing this. I feel lame that I procrastinated this long to finally do it. Every other massive-breasted girl on TikTok is getting reduced for fun or for views! Men just love seeing a giant pair of fat, bloated tits get completely mangled! I've been fantasizing about these big bouncy melons of mine getting totally ruined or chopped right off for years now. It's all I think about when I masturbate.... And having to apologize to men that I have no boobs now as I show them my flat chest and scars, and I'll have to desperately show them my old vids, like "See? I used to be super sexy, just watch these as you fuck me, you should finally be able to cum that way!"

I'm honestly way too hyped.... Seeing Samantha get her LL-Cups reduced to A-Cups last week was the last straw. I'm just saying screw it! I wanna see my boobs get destroyed waaaay too much! I'm addicted to thinking about it. I want to film the whole thing so men all around the world can masturbate to my beautiful, jiggly titties getting taken apart and tossed in the garbage! It's such a dream come true! Oh, and I'm sure more than a few girls like me will find the video super hot..... Rubbing their clits as I smile for the camera, breasts numb, as I nonchalantly talk to the doctor as he dismantles my perfect breasts. ❤️ And they'll hopefully climax when they see him move on from my chest to my pussy. A coy smile on my face as the doctor removes my clit, which I'm definitely going to have preserved and placed in a gemstone to wear around my neck like a lot of girls are doing. Gotta flaunt that I desexed myself, that I only exist to be used for sex, not for my own pleasure. No big sensitive breasts for me to squeeze, no clit for me to rub. I'll be the new definition of an oversexed, cock-slut, fully devoted to male pleasure and not my own. Even if men need old vids of me just to climax, like they do for lots of the girls getting this stuff done.

The temptation is just too much for me to stand any longer. Hopefully they can fit me in this afternoon, since I'm asking so nicely and graciously offering my clit as well, I just know how much these pervy doctors love lopping off sexy girls' clits, especially if the girls beg for it, and I intend to.... "Doctor, please, pleeeease chop off my big fat tits and swollen clit! I want them gone SO bad it aches in my juicy pussy all day long!" Then I'll bite my lip and give him my best cock-worshipping eyes. He'll just have to numb me and get started removing these silly, unnecessary things from my body right away! Wish me luck! I can't wait for you all to see my big bouncy breasts get chopped apart like scraps at a butcher's shop!"

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

HARRY BEING HARRY ON TOUR — Love on Tour: UK + Europe Leg, 2023

[avvail-whumps]

‘guns for hire’ — forty-eight hours #37

previous · masterlist · next

content warnings: whumpee referred to as “kid” but they’re an adult, conditioned whumpee, interrogations, stockholm syndrome, mentioned past character death

Sharpe was expecting Summers to lay into him the moment the door was closed, and he was already preparing a cigerette for him to drag between her harsh words.

He hadn’t been expecting her hand to slap them from his fingers harshly, causing them to clatter to the ground. His brows furrowed instantly, arms coming up in mock surrender.

“Jesus, Summers,” he grunted, but the woman’s fiery eyes were burning too brightly for her to even care about his visible discontent.

“This whole thing is a fucking mess,” she snarled, face twisted in anger. “He should be in a hospital. He shouldn’t be locked in some interogation room while you grill the poor kid until he’s in tears.”

“I’m not grilling him,” Sharpe argued, but he was promptly cut off.

“No, Steven,” she snapped. “Be quiet for two seconds. You arrested Roy under ridiculous assumptions and for what? Because you think it was his uncle that killed Mikhail Wilson?”

“I know it was his uncle that killed Mikhail Wilson,” the detective corrected with a scoff, his brows furrowing in discontent. “Kidnapping Leo was sloppy. So naturally his uncle is going to be the one to clean up loose ends.”

“On what grounds, Steven?” Summers snapped, throwing her arms up in disbelief. There was a fiery, but exasperated tone to her sharp voice. “On what grounds would any of this hold up as viable evidence? It doesn’t. It’s all speculation, and speculation isn’t going to get Roy convicted.”

“You really believe the bullshit about stumbling onto his house is true? That there happened to conveniently be someplace else that kidnapping victims are kept?”

“Those forests are fucking huge,” Summers frowned, shaking her head. The anger was slowly leaving her voice, finding it was useless to argue against Sharpe. “People go missing in them and never found all the time, and you know this. If his kidnappers wanted to keep him someplace concealed, we might never find it, even if we had hundreds of officers searching every square acre.”

Sharpe shook his head, running a desperate hand through his hair. His eyes snapped towards the door where Leo was, and all it took was the reminder of him in the car to get him fired up once again. There were too many little discrepancies popping up that couldn’t be sheerly down to coincidence.

“The kid is confused,” Summers spoke once more, drawing him out of his boiling rage. “He’s scared. He’s likely traumatised, and you think he’d be able to retell some fake, elaborate story in the state he’s in right now?”

“Summers—”

“Forensics are doing a sweep of Roy’s house,” she interrupted coldly. “If anything detrimental comes up, we’ll know. They’ll have Roy’s trip to Morocco checked, as well as his phone and laptop.”

The detective decided to keep mouth shut for now. There was no use arguing against her when the evidence was stacked up against him so highly, which he saw and understood completely. Although his words were being seen as sheer speculation, which in reality, it was, it was speculation that Sharpe believed to be the truth, and he was going to fight tooth and nail to save Leo from the man’s clutches. 

“Summers, you know I’m a good detective,” he started, and the woman turned away from him with a sharp groan. 

“Don’t start this, Steven,” she snapped. “I know you’re a good detective. But this is a mess and you know it, even if you are right.” 

“We’d hit a dead end. His case had been closed. The captain was even willing to bet his career on this case, and look what happened. We found him.” 

“And haven’t they given a valid enough reason to explain that?” 

Sharpe grit his teeth, a sharp scoff rising in his throat. He almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What, so you believe Roy’s bullshit about not wanting to call the police?” 

“You saw the kid in there,” she fired back swiftly, without missing a beat. “He genuinely believes that he was responsible for Michael’s death. You’re a detective, Steven. Like you said, a good one. Can’t you tell that he’s scared out of his mind?” 

“He’s scared enough to do what he’s told,” he grumbled dryly under his breath, stifling a grunt when Summers elbowed him a little too hard in the rib. He could tell she was angry and frustrated, and so was he. They’d found the kid safe and sound, but they both knew that he wouldn’t ever be the same. Just looking at all of the horrible scars on his body from the photos, and the sickening guilt in their stomachs for not saving him quicker. It was enough to shake the both of them, including Sharpe, despite his tough exterior. 

“What kind of twenty-four year old lives in the middle of nowhere anyway?” Sharpe grumbled under his breath, ignoring Summers’ eyes when she turned to glance at him. She leaned against the wall, running a hand through her hair and gathering it up into a ponytail. She pressed the bobble between her teeth as she did, before scraping it all back successfully. 

“I had a word with him while you were talking with Leo,” she sighed, folding her arms over her chest. “I already asked him. His explanation was reasonable enough.” 

The detective scoffed. “And what was that?” 

“His uncle,” she shrugged wearily. “It’s safer for him than if he was in the city. Wouldn’t be hard for that man to find him if he decided he didn’t want his dear old nephew running around by himself anymore.” 

Sharpe had a lot to say about that, but for the sake of not having his cigerate and lighter slapped out of his hands for a second time, he decided to keep it to himself. He bent down and scooped the two objects up, tossing the cigerette in the bin, and pulling out another from the depths of his trouser pockets. He leaned against the opposite side of the wall, beside the water dispenser. He wasn’t allowed to smoke at the station, but he didn’t care. 

“How is the Commissioner taking this?” 

His words lingered in the foul air for a while, tainting it even further. Summers’ eyes remained glued to part of the ground, her eyebrows raising with a deep sigh. 

“As you can imagine, not very well,” she muttered. “He’s absolutely livid. You’ve probably cost the Captain his badge.” 

Sharpe sucked in a breath, tasting the familiar tobacco on his tongue. “Yeah, well, we’ve still got over twenty-four hours for Leo to tell us the truth.” 

Summers gave another pathetic shrug. The detective didn’t want to believe that she’d given up just yet, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult as the time whirled on by. They’d have to move Roy into a cell for the night, as well as find someplace for the kid to recuperate. By then, their time would be rapidly diminishing. 

“And what if Roy walks free, huh, Steven?” She asked softly. “There’ll probably be hefty compensation for the Commissoner to deal with once this is all over. And, Jesus, if his uncle is willing to tie up loose ends for his nephew like you said, what’s the chance he won’t do the same here?” 

Something icey made its way into Sharpes chest. His eyes narrowed as he glanced at her from above his cigarette. 

“What exactly are you implying?” 

Summers tapped a finger on her forearm. “The Commissioner isn’t going to let this slide.”

“Doesn’t this just prove my claim if he does?” He grumbled. “That he currently has connections with his uncle?” 

“He’s his legal guardian,” Summers reminded him gently. “So, no. Not really.” 

“Fuck,” Sharpe sighed, rubbing the aching crease in his forehead. He took another deep drag, letting the sting fill up his lungs. All he could hope for was that once the house was sweeped and searched, something of value would come up. Something incriminating, while they thoroughly did a search on Bran, Sean and Rafi in the meantime. Sharpe didn’t feel as though Leo would take well to his encouragement to tell him it was Roy, so he found his gaze settling on Summers’ remorseful face again. 

“Can you talk to the kid again?” He asked softly. “He might open up to you. Much prettier than me, after all.” 

That brought a small smirk to her lips. “Was that a compliment, Steven?” 

He tapped the end of the cigerette with a chuckle, watching the dark ash flutter to the ground. 

“Never.” 

She shook her head, pushing off the wall. “I’ll do my best. They should transfer Roy into a cell for the night.” 

“Already on it,” Sharpe called out as his feet carried him swiftly through the corridors of the station, his smile fading as soon as her back was turned. 

. . . 

Leo must have drifted off for a while, because when he blinked his eyes open, they were crusted and sore against the dry air. His stuffy nose struggled to take a deep breath in, uncurling his head from his arms. His neck felt horribly stiff as he shifted back into the chair, weary hands rubbing at it gently. 

He was still in the same, boring room as before, alone as ever. 

He wondered where Roy was. 

God, he would do anything to see him right now. Was he somewhere in the building? Were they treating him badly? Was he doing a good job? Without Roy here to tell him if he was doing okay with the story, he could feel himself becoming agitated and nervous. If he was here, he would probably be holding him gently, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, and Leo would lap it up like it was the last time he’d ever hear anything nice. It might have been now. What if he got into trouble for killing Michael? What if he slipped up and disappointed Roy? 

Even when the door popped open again, Leo didn’t look over. He was chewing on his finger again, staring intently at the surface of the table. 

“Leo?” 

He jerkily nodded his head, letting the woman know that he was listening. It passed over him in a blur, however. He briefly listened to her soft words, much kinder than the bearded detective from before. He learned that her name was Summers. Heard her repeat the same mantra’s of “you’re safe now” and “no one can hurt you anymore”. He had to endure the difficult, probing questions that Roy had told him about, words flying from her mouth like “do you understand the concept of Stockholm Syndrome?” or “did he coerce you into sexual intercourse?”, and Leo forced himself to keep his head on straight through it all. 

Still, like Roy wanted, he didn’t crumble. 

He felt like he would. Each question was chipping away at his exhausted resolve, the sinking darkness under his eyes an indication enough about what the stress was doing to him. He was guided carefully to an unlocked cell, where they encouraged him to get some rest. A bunch of pillows, blankets, water, pills, and even a bar of chocolate was handed to him by uniformed police officers.

Their kindness was almost strange.

Respectfully keeping their distance, making sure he was comfortable and ensuring him they would do their best to stay quiet for him. Even when he’d become anxious over the cell door being locked and caging him in like some criminal, a pudgy officer had placed a chair against the door to keep it propped open for him. 

Leo barely slept a wink. 

He pulled the blankets right up to his nose, but none of them reminded him of home. His stomach ached as sickening thoughts plagued his mind. I need to tell them. I need to tell them the truth. Then another side of them, cruel and hissing in his ear. What about Roy? He’ll be so disappointed in you. 

By the time he’d been retrieved by those two detectives again and placed in the same little room, he was more of a coward than he had always been. He sobbed as he told them the same story, over and over again. Even as the timer ticked down, closing in on the forty-eight hours with only minutes left, he gave Sharpe and Summers the same answer to their demands. 

“We can only do this with your help,” the man pressed, a slight edge of desperation in his tone. “Tell us it was Roy.” 

He didn’t. 

And by then, it was too late anyway.

tag list – @unorganisedalienrubbish @d-cs @rabidrabidme @sordayciega @burningkittypoet @whumpawink @mannerofwhump @suspicious-whumping-egg @welcome-to-the-whumpfest @whatwasmyprevioususername @crilex29 @firefly017 @dutifullykrispyland @wibbly-wobbly-whump @there-will-always-be-blood @anonintrovert @justawhumpjunkie @whumptastic-world @ha-ha-one @whatwhumpcomments @whumpterful-beeeeee @anonymous1235 @sonder35 @unforgiven235 @whumpasaurus101 @mj-or-say10 @professional-idiocy @seaweed-is-cool @theelvishcowgirl @atomicsandwichprince @sunshiline-writes @peasandpotatos @pirefyrelight @enigmawritesstuff @reverie1234 @obsessedsplicer505 @mithras-energy @morning-star-whump

[pyr0peyt]

Winter be damned my girl can SLAY

[paarthursass]

well i GOTTA ask ""you haven't changed." "...do you mean that in a good way or bad way?""

exes to lovers dialogue

"You haven't changed."

Aurel did not meet Wyll's gaze. They sat within a breadth of each other; Wyll's hands were warm as he bandaged the burns on Aurel’s chest. 

He had borne burn scars on his back, once.  It seemed only fitting that now he would bear the reverse; a symbolic branding of the change he had undergone.

'I could only obtain one Scroll of True Polymorph. Karlach required it more urgently than I.'

"That's not what I meant," Wyll hissed.

Aurel almost missed the intimacy of when they had both carried tadpoles in their minds; the effortless psychic link that had cropped up between them, even back when Aurel was so desperately trying to hide himself from Wyll.  He could have re-established the connection now; his own psychic powers were strong enough, and he did so dearly wish he could just know what Wyll was thinking instead of trying to interpret the cadence of his voice and the way he breathed. 

But it would be an invasion of privacy, and it would mean facing the full force of Wyll's grief. 

Aurel grieved himself enough.

'Then say what you mean.'

"You broke into Mephistopheles' library, Aurel!"

'Yes,' Aurel replied plainly, still not facing Wyll. 'We have spent months chasing inconclusive leads among Zariel's forces. Conversely, we knew with certainty that Mephistopheles' realm held tomes and scrolls of every arcane spell in existence.  And with Hope’s House holding a portal to Cania, it was more efficient to steal a scroll from him than to chase flimsy rumors to every end of Avernus.'

"Don't do that," the small part of Aurel's heart that was still a man twinged at how Wyll’s voice broke. "Don't try and speak to me like you're just a mind flayer."

'I am just a mind flayer.'

Aurel felt bile rise in his throat.  He snapped his head to the side to turn his cold, violet gaze onto Wyll.  HIs old lover paused in his work, his dark devil-eye staring back unflinchingly.

There was a time he could have read Wyll’s face with ease.  He would have known what the clench of his jaw meant, or if the way his fingers trembled were from anger or grief.

Or perhaps he had been fooling himself, lost in the throws of new love, and he didn’t know Wyll at all.

'You and Karlach have been putting on a pantomime. Whether for my sake or to ease your own grief, I do not know, but what I do know is that Mizora was right; Aurel died that day in the Astral Prism. His soul has left for the Fugue Plane, and I am only an echo of his memories. I am an abomination to illithid-kind, and a cruel reminder to you.'

Wyll’s jaw flexed, his lips pursed into a thin trembling line — grief then.  Of course.  The man he loved was dead. 

Once, Aurel would have pulled him close to chase those tears away. He would have cupped his face in his hands, kissed his cheeks, held him as he wept...

His mouth was no longer made for tenderness, but for cracking through skulls and gorging on the grey matter within. His hands were warped into cold, slimy claws that inspired more disgust than warmth. His closeness would only bring Wyll more discomfort.

That seemed to be all he brought Wyll nowadays.

'Well, you need no longer continue this farce,' Aurel went on. 'With the Scroll of True Polymorph, Karlach can inhabit a new body free of the Infernal Engine. The two of you may return to the Material Plane.'

"You're not coming with us?" Wyll's voice broke, his remaining eye large and wet and grief-stricken.

'I will not force you to endure my presence any longer,' Aurel turned away. And he cursed his ceremorphosis — not for transforming him into a monster, but for making him this incomplete thing that still wavered when faced with Wyll’s forlorn gaze.

'There is ample food for me here, and I will take pleasure in knowing I am thinning Zariel's forces as I feed.'

"Alone?"

He hated how quiet Wyll's voice was. Why didn't he hate him? Why were they both clinging to a ship they both knew was sinking?

'I cannot be what you want,' Aurel said stiffly. 'I have told you; I am an echo of who Aurel was. I am a living reminder of your dead love. You need not suffer me any longer.'

"I don't suffer you."

'I see how you look at me, Wyll!' Aurel snapped his head around to look at Wyll once more, tentacles flaring. 'You do not see me; you see a dead man you once loved. You saw how Mayrina dragged along the rotting corpse of her husband; I will not be your Connor!'

Wyll flinched, as did Aurel — surprised by the force of his own psychic lashing. Every time he spoke he tried to keep a tether on his telepathy, tried to keep himself from probing too far and sharing too much but in that moment...

"That's really what you think you are," Wyll breathed, his eyes wide. "A shambling zombie trailing after me?"

Aurel's tentacles twitched, and he turned so he could no longer look at Wyll's large, sad eyes.

'Mizora was right,' he said again. He could almost hear her shrill laughter, echoing on the winds of Avernus. 'I am a worm wriggling around in a dead man's brain. I recall his life, his feelings, as if they were my own...and when left to my own devices, I still trick myself into thinking I am him.'

Aurel was quiet for a moment. The balcony doors were open, the rust-red sky of Avernus plain to see. The faint smell of sulfur wafted in, but in Raphael's old boudoir the smell of incense still overpowered Avernus's acrid stench.

They had killed Haarlep here. The incubus had leered at him, tongue tracing their fangs as they looked to make Aurel their next meal, and Wyll had held on to his hand so tightly, as if he was afraid one lecherous look from the incubus would pull him away from his side.

Haarlep hadn't taken him, but only a few days later...the Netherbrain, the Emperor, Orpheus...

'I thought about it.'

Aurel glanced back at Wyll, cheeks wet from silent tears but eyes soft with confusion. "Thought about what?"

'When Orpheus said what needed to be done,' Aurel turned to look back at Avernus. He couldn't look at Wyll, not when admitting this. 'I thought of asking him to do it instead.'

Wyll went quiet. Aurel did not know whether it was grief, or disappointment, or shame that caused his silence, but he persisted all the same.

'The rightful Prince of the Githyanki; their best hope of liberation and ending Vlaakith's tyranny. I thought of asking him to become illithid instead. Worse, I thought it would have been better to let the Emperor feed on him, to let them kill him and take his power, because that would have meant it wouldn't have to be me.'

The carefully maintained dam of his telepathy cracked again. Just a little as his grief, as his anger bubbled over. But it seemed to be enough; Wyll's lips parted, his eyes widened as the torrent of Aurel's emotions seeped through.

'I thought to damn the Githyanki people — Lae'zel's people. I was weak, and I was terrified, and all I could think about was how I wanted to go to that dinner with Karlach and Fytz. I wanted to see Gale’s tower in Waterdeep.  Hells, I even wanted to help Astarion find a new home for him and the other spawn.'

Aurel's entire body had gone rigid. He shook, his claws digging into the sheets of the bed while his tentacles trembled as he stared intently at the wall.

'I wanted my father to recognize me when I went home,' he could not sob, not anymore, but the flood of thoughts and feelings felt nearer to hysteria than he'd been in a long, long time. 'I wanted us to have more than just that one night under the Wilden Oak. I wanted to go to sleep at night by your side and then kiss you awake each morning. And I wondered to myself, 'Could I?' Could I sacrifice the freedom of an entire people just so I could wake up each morning with you in my arms?'

His whole body trembled as those emotions ceremorphosis should have snuffed out spilled over into the air. A small, broken gasp escaped Wyll as he felt it, as all the rage and grief and shame that Aurel had been so desperately trying to hide all these months spilled over into the light.

'I was almost so weak. Weak and stupid and selfish. And I have spent these past months trying to convince myself that it was worth it. That becoming this was worth sacrificing our future.'

He didn't think he was capable of this anymore. This rage, this overwhelming grief, this pain. 

The baubles on the nightstand were rattling, even the bed seemed to be shaking as his telekinesis bubbled within him. 

He hadn't felt this raw and uncontrolled since he was an adolescent.

He forced himself out of the bed and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blot out the everything as if that would stop this.  Stop him.  

He couldn’t. 

It wasn’t just him shaking now; he could hear the bed rattling against the wall, the water in the bath splashing.  Something fell onto the floor and shattered.  He couldn’t stop.  He couldn’t.

And then there was a clawed hand on his arm.  Tentative; just a brush against his cold skin, but enough to share its warmth.

Aurel shuddered, and with that his telekinesis calmed.  The rattling stopped, the House of Hope stood still once more, and Aurel stood there with Wyll hovering inches away.

Aurel stepped away from him.  Out, further, onto the balcony.  He turned to stare blankly out at the barren landscape of Avernus, at the red mountains on the horizon and the smoke rising in the distance.

I will never see the mountains of my home again.

I will never see my father again.

'It is bad enough that I must spend the rest of my days feeling sorry for myself, but I cannot, will not bring you down with me, Wyll. I will not have you standing by my side out of duty and staring at me while you mourn the man you love. That is no life, not for either of us. So leave; go with Karlach back to Baldur's Gate, grieve me, move on, and let me die here knowing I took as many of Zariel's soldiers with me as I could.'

A shuddering exhale escaped Wyll. He was right there, right behind Aurel. He could feel his breath on his neck, could feel the prickling of his warmth on his back.

"Is that what you want?" Wyll asked, his voice ragged and raw.

Aurel closed his eyes.

'What I want does not matter.'

"It does."

'I cannot have it,' Aurel snapped. 'Don't you see, Wyll? I want you to look at me without shame. I want to be able to walk with you in the sunlight. I want to see my father again, with you by my side. I want...I want to be me again.'

A shaky, rattling exhale escaped through Aurel's teeth as he looked up.

'But I am not. Even polymorphing back into my original body could not change that. I am...I am not him. But I don't know who I am when I'm not him. And I do not think I can ever know.'

This was why mind flayers forgot who they were. This was why partialism was such a taboo to them. No mind flayer would be able to survive this agony.

Aurel almost felt sorry for the Emperor. Deluding himself into believing he was still Balduran, that he was better as a mind flayer, had to be the only way he could survive such a thing.

Ansur really would have done him a mercy if he'd killed him.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around Aurel's middle. He tensed, his breath hitched as Wyll rested his forehead against Aurel's back and squeezed with his arms.

"Why did you go to Mephistopheles' library alone," Wyll murmured.

Aurel trembled.

'Because it was dangerous,' he said. 'Because if I failed, then you and Karlach would still be safe.'

Wyll's breath hitched as he squeezed Aurel.

"That's what I meant," he sighed. "Oh Aurel, I’m not leaving you here.”

‘You must.’

“No.”

Aurel tried to pull away, but Wyll only loosened his grip enough to spin Aurel around - to force them eye to eye while Wyll grabbed his shoulders.  His claws dug into Aurel’s skin, and his eye blazed.

“You haven’t changed,” he insisted. “You’re still the same as you were before.  I should have known from the moment you agreed to jump with Karlach into Avernus without a thought; you’re still the same man who bargained with Mizora for my soul, who risked a sinking prison for my father…who became a mind flayer to save the world.”

Wyll was crying again.  The tears were running freely down his cheeks, spilling onto his tunic.  Aurel stared at the dark spots dumbly as his head spun.

“And then you went and stole from Mephistopheles, and you could have just helped yourself but you didn’t.  You thought…you thought I didn’t love you as you were and you still thought to save Karlach first.”

Wyll’s claws dug in further as he stared up at Aurel, and he gave his shoulders a firm shake.

“I’m not leaving you to sacrifice yourself to Zariel’s forces,” he said. “You’re the same.  You’re the same.”

Aurel wished again to reach out his telepathy, to feel the edges of Wyll’s mind so he might know.

But instead he just nodded his head, and he relished the relieved sob that escaped Wyll.

He wanted to believe this. 

Even if it was a lie.

[hydrachea]

Not sure if you answer these types of asks but I have Oberon brainrot and I was wondering how do you think Guda and Oberon would make out?

Oh I will absolutely answer this type of ask.

The answer is that they contain multitudes though. First/second ascension Oberon still acts out his prince role, he hates every second of it but he'll still play into it. Think romance movie kisses, the too-perfect-to-be true kind. Looks idyllic to onlookers! Kind of hollow for both participants.

Third ascension doesn't care, so it's a lot messier because honestly he's frustrated to be in this situation in the first place and even more frustrated to not be hating it. There's teeth, there's claws, there's also swatting the occasional bug that wanders out of his cape and into Guda's hair but that part isn't intended.

And Guda after all that? Guda's not taking any shit from either Oberons. Guda has tamed worse - have you seen their Servants? They're the epitome of "shut up and make out with me", whether it's "shut up (you're being annoying)" or "shut up (stop thinking so much)". It's not an aggressive kind of kiss, but it's insistent and it works wonders.

[rozyrne]

the fact that her retainers didn't come to meet her - the audacity! - means she has to seek them out herself in a flounce of rose perfume and fluttering petticoats.

it's evening when she sets out, bells chiming as students mill between classes. she won't get distracted, even with all the new sights and sounds! ..well, maybe a bit. there are flowers she has never seen growing her, and the weather is so much nicer, but - no! she's on a mission!

( she does pluck a flower, though, discreetly. other students are doing it - so surely it's fine if she does, right? besides, she's a princess! )

there are so many faces. so many students, and most of them older than she. she puffs out her chest and pushes through the crowd with the determination only a teenage girl can carry, and finally - finally! - she spots a familiar bow and blue-pink hair.

"you kept me waiting long enough!" she calls out to her retainer, pushing her way uncaringly through the crowd to stand in front of him, hands on her hips. "how rude!"

and yet - despite her harsh words, she's smiling. a rare hortensia smile, the sort worth capturing on a canvas - a real smile, not that saccharine royal smile. the slope of her lips is gentle, her eyes bright.

she throws herself at rosado, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"how have you been?" is asked quieter, more vulnerable. closer to his ear. a weakness for few and far in between - a weakness for not just her retainer, but her friend.

he'll swear it up, sideways, and upside-down on the jana and the divine one and everything in between — that he was looking for her first! bonus points of being well-liked and having a bunch of people to talk to was that he was never ever late to the latest and greatest scoops, and even in a place as full to bursting with royalty as this academy, word of a princess still makes it down the grapevine to his eager ear.

did you see her dress? yep, that's elusia for you!

i swear the newbies that keep showing up here are each crazier-looking than the last. that's her highness princess hortensia you're talking about! and my best friend, to boot.

rosado, of course, didn't usually like to brag ( it wasn't very cute ) but today, today, he couldn't help it.

hortensia— hortensia— was on the way!

he totally didn't sleep last night. ( but when's that ever bothered him? )

so he'll swear it on his best brushes, his favorite platform heels, and all his sweet snacks for the rest of the week. that when hortensia finds him, it's because he's lost track of where to look at the town gates around so many people, and because she's always been a little smaller than most; there's no way a princess should be showing up to the academy unreceived, right? not by her retainers, and definitely not by her friends.

he'll remember that look on her face forever, anyway. like the kind of candy you had once as a kid that changed your life maybe, and you could never find it again anywhere else. and then one day it just shows up, completely out of the blue. he doesn't get to see it all that much, anymore.

"you're here . . . ! you're actually, really here! i almost can't believe it," he gasps, utters, and breathes into her shoulder, squeezing and rocking from foot to foot like he doesn't want to let go, grinning so hard his face hurts. she smells like the sea freshly crossed and the sky so blue and a little of the snow and ice of elusia, a little like powder and taffeta and bubblegum. and just when he's about to pull back to look at her to really make sure he isn't dreaming, she whispers again, this time like a secret just for his ears. how has he been?

he's been great; he's been happy. he's been totally occupied, and over his head in homework without her to help, and busy with training, and wrapping his head around everything there is to do here, and—

and there's really only one thing that's totally, one-hundred-percent the first and truest thing he wants to say. "ohh, i've just missed you."

arms cinch tighter; just a few more seconds. because she sounds a little like he remembers from not-as-happy times and back then there wasn't anything he could do about it, but this time he can give her a hug, at least? "but now everything's right in the world." now he does pull back, hands on both her shoulders, beaming with all daylight starshine; she's going to believe it! he'll make her believe it. things'll be so perfect that she'll have no other choice! "you, and me, and goldmary. we're going to be unstoppable, just like old times."

[nubcatnoises]

Previous Next

[merakiui]

OMG MERA IDK IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS YET BUT THIS IS SUCH A PRETTY PIECE OF FANART???

https://www.tumblr.com/yanmaresu/688888836713070592/you-cant-go-to-simpler-times?source=share

It's so prettyyyy and it was draw by yanmaresu.

(link :3)

I HAVE!!!! ⸜(｡ ˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I love this art and yanmaresu's other work!!!! Yanmaresu's art of punk Jade had me in a vise omg!!!! This art was actually based off of Azul thought 2!!! :D I forever hold this fanart in my heart because it's so beautiful!!! The way Azul's expression is so gentle and sweet in the first panel, but then the second one displays a crazed-hopeful expression as he's dragging the poor darling into the pool... aaaaaa it's so good!!!! orz it paints the visual I was hoping to convey in the story when Azul's at his most desperate and panicked. And the details in the background!!! The stained glass and fountain waterfalls!!!!! It's so perfect... <3

[giratina-plushie]

i've been tricked by the waddle doo

[stilldancewithyou]

what are your thoughts on the hsmtmts finale? I found it to be so disappointing :/

oh, I have so many thoughts.

first, let me preface this by saying I'm both a Portwell and a Rina. I really liked Rina's dynamic in season 1 when they first introduced it and I was here for it until they threw in Portwell. And then the narrative kind of told me Gina isn't Ricky's number one choice/priority but she is EJ's number one priority, andshe wasn't even a choice to him! She was the only person he was even thinking about at the point. I ate that shit up. They were so cute together and their relationship was built on such a great friendship. But I did also like seeing Ricky pining over Gina and realizing his feelings for her...I just hated that they couldn't just let him wrestle with his feelings for a while, he had to put EJ and Gina's relationship down (and he was kinda weird/rude to EJ at times in order to push the narrative of Rina...idk some quiet, semi-secret pining would've been nice to see). also just in case it isn't already clear...I am an EJ girl first and foremost. Idk why but I just liked him so much from the start of the 1st season for some reason. I also adore Ricky, but he drives me crazy sometimes tbh.

in no particular order, here are my thoughts on the finale:

I'm still in shock that Ricky said "I haven't read the full script yet" on the day of opening night of the show. was that supposed to be funny? cute or something? Why was Gina not mad at all about that? It's also kinda hypocritical of Ricky bc he was telling Jet at the beginning that he needed to practice his lines and show up and be a good Hans for Gina since it's her first lead role and I'm supposed to believe the same Ricky (who is apparently in love with Gina) didn't take the time to read the whole script and at least learn the name of the kingdom for her? Did he never run lines with her or anyone for that matter, have a conversation with anyone about the show, or even show up at rehearsals? I mean I'm pretty sure they would've said Arendelle plenty of times during rehearsals, so I feel like he should've known that.I know it was a small scene but seriously? Is this supposed to make me like Ricky? The narrative is confusing me.

I am so happy Miss Jenn was there! The kids needed her support and it just wouldn't be a finale opening night without her there. I kinda wish Mr Mazzara had shown up too but it's fine, I'm not gonna die on that hill. I thought Miss Jenn would talk to EJ, give him advice and stuff and then tell him what a good job he did at the end but unless I'm crazy or accidentally missed something...she didn't really do that. she was too focused on Nini and forgot about her tallest child

I thought it was a really nice send off for Nini, and I liked that she brought the lottery ticket for Ricky, it was a sweet little reminder of their friendship and how they've grown up together and of their relationship, and it also showed that they've let each other go. Although Ricky did look kinda shook when he heard Nini was there and was really upset over the idea that he didn't get a card from her...but I guess it might've been more bc of their friendship than the romance part. It did make me stop to wonder though, is he truly 100% over her (which I had been certain he was until that moment)

not gonna lie, I'm kind of sad that we didn't get to see any of Jet as Hans. I was actually kind of excited to see that and idk why, so I felt a little let down by that. I mean, we got to see Kourtney's Let It Go moment (which I loved and she sounded so good) and Carlos singing In Summer, which Frankie Rodriguez absolutely nailed and I loved it. But it would've been really interesting to include the Hans/Anna "if only there was somebody who loved you" scene.

loved the conversation between Big Red and Ashlyn. I realized she was feeling awkward bc she was trying to figure out how to tell him about her summer of discovery but for a full minute I was really confused and thinking she was wanting to break up with him/not feeling it with him cause the dialogue was a little confusing and I was like is this for real??? But then Big Red made his little "you're the one for me" confession and they were both happy so phew not a break up. Also, I love that this storyline showed ppl the concept that you can have a crush but that doesn't mean you don't still love your SO/doesn't take away from your feelings for your SO. not sure why they seemed to forget about this as it could've applied to the Portwell/Rina triangle but okay...

I had so much hope built up for a moment where EJ would get to sing his own emotional ballad, fall apart a little and have a moment, even if it was by himself, like the other characters have gotten and I don't know why I ever thought the writers would think to do that...but yeah I kept hoping for it anyway...when he started to walk away from the group huddle right before Everyday I thought he was gonna burst into a banger of a song as he walked away and then Corbin Bleu started singing and I was like oh, okay I guess we're ignoring EJ's feelings. Also the fact that he was so done he was just going to straight up walk away and no one was like "EJ where are you going?" "come back" "we're proud of you EJ" "how about a round of applause for our director" or "EJ are you okay? you look like you're going through it"

I loved the scene where EJ called his dad, I was starting to think they were just ignoring/had forgotten about that plotline so I was glad to see it given its moment. Matt Cornett did SO good in that scene...the emotion was unmatched and I was tearing up. I liked that Val was there and he wasn't having to deal with it alone, but at the same time...where were his friends? Did none of them notice his dad wasn't there? Gina even asked him about his dad whether he was worried about that and she didn't think to check back in with him about it? Also just the fact that he basically said he only felt comfortable having Val there with him...so he had to squeeze in the phone call during the show so she could be with him and didn't feel like any of his close friends from school would provide the support he needed in that moment? Not Gina,not his so-called "brother", not his fucking actual cousin, not a single one of his best friends that he brought to camp to spend time with???? I hated that the show just...jumped over that with no moment for EJ to tell everyone how they've made him feel. He just had to sit there and put on a brave and happy face for them while he was crumbling. And then the fact that his dad straight up hung up on him??? I knew his dad was a douche canoe but damn. That was harsh. It was really nice to see that little moment between him and Val afterwards, where she just kinda held him and he cried a little. It's pretty brutal though that after that, he had to go back to the show, put his Sven costume back on, and go back on stage AND he did it all without having an emotional breakdown. I really thought he was just going to either straight up not go back to the show at that point (although it makes sense, as a final fuck you to Cash, that he went back and finished what he started extremely well and didn't let his dad see that he had really gotten to him).

Corbin Bleu saying "what team?" really made my HSM loving heart happy and 4th grade me was shaking in her boots. I also kinda love the Corbin Bleu redemption arc (even though it's clearly only bc he's going to be in s4 in a more positive capacity). Although I do find it hard to believe that Corbin kicked Channing out, and likely the entire situation was explained to Disney/the doc producers yet they still allowed Channing to edit the documentary??? Also on this topic- am I really to believe they edited, cut, and produced an entire show in 1 month???????

Kristoff Lullaby...at first I liked it, the way they began it with Ricky singing the words but EJ and Gina sharing meaningful stares from opposite sides of the stage. It started out as such a nice reminder of the very real feelings still lingering between them (despite Ricky being between them and everything that means for them), of the fact that EJ didn't want to break up, and it kind of took me back to the cute friendship they had that they built their relationship on, despite EJ obviously noticing the tension and feelings between Ricky and Gina...and then Ricky had to make eye contact with Gina at the end, and EJ's heartbroken face...he was already sad enough as it is. maybe that look was part of the show? bc in that specific scene in the musical, Kristoff (Ricky) is singing to Anna (Gina)...so maybe that was just choreography and we are all interpreting this incorrectly. I kind of wished they hadn't done that with that song...I was hoping it would be more about Gina and EJ and they would realize they need to have a convo and then talk about things, like how even though they love and care about each other very much they're better off as friends and she should've been honest with him about Ricky, just a simple "I'm really sorry for doing this to you, you don't deserve it...I've been struggling with my feelings for Ricky for a while now and I thought I was over it, I thought you were my person...but now I think you're better off without me, I'm just going to continue breaking your heart because I don't know what I want anymore and I really need to figure that out first before I involve someone else's heart" period. If I was writing this show, I would have added a moment like that for them, so that Rina getting together at the end wouldn't feel so weird and abrupt. Also bc she and EJ never actually got closure (as evidenced by what EJ said/how he reacted in that final scene).

that whole This Is Me moment was kinda weird? I would have liked it more if the entire cast was singing together but it ended up being the little girl's solo with the cast doing back up and it was sort of just a weird sequence. I'm also just salty that they gave the little girl a song and not EJ. What a huge missed opportunity bc they could've written a really amazing ballad for him about being alone (although you're surrounded by ppl/your friends) and about breaking up with Gina, feeling like a failure in your dad's eyes and never living up to anyone's expectations of you, something like "All I wanted was to be good enough for you" or "what do I have to do to be good enough for you?" or "I broke my heart and tore myself apart/trying to make you happy/I destroyed myself for you/burned my house down to keep you warm/now I'm cold and alone/is that good enough for you?" or all of the above building up to an ending of "I'll never be good enough for you/but I tried everything/yeah, I was the best man I know how to be/and that's good enough for me". A golden opportunity and potential completely wasted. I'm so mad. Also, EJ bursting into "When There Was Me And You" would have also slapped (either they should have paused the Kristoff Lullaby scene had him sing it at that point, or the final scene should have been EJ singing it . They really flushed so much potential down the toilet.

Honestly every single song from HSM2 went to waste this season, they could have thrown ALL of them in- Work This Out in the first episode when they all arrived at camp and hated how rustic it is...and can you imagine EJ and Ricky singing I Don't Dance at some point? would have been hilarious. And Gotta Go My Own Way? Would have been PERFECT. Not mention EJ singing Bet On It and getting the angry dance sequence. Soooo many wasted opportunities.

Why did EJ have to do to curtain call in the Sven costume? I thought as the director he'd get to pop after curtain call separately and get separate applause/recognition. Literally every musical and play I've ever been to has had a moment after the cast does their bows where the cast makes sure the director (and tech ppl/crew, and orchestra if there is one) get their own applause from the audience at the end...it's theater etiquette. It's just weird that that didn't happen for EJ, after the big deal they made out of him directing the show. And then literally no one told him "good job" or anything like that, never mind "I'm proud of you"...they were all focused on the actors and congratulating them...and I know they had no way to know what happened with his dad, but I just thought since they all know he's spent the last 2 weeks putting all of his time, effort, and focus into it (and they know about the letter from his dad) that they'd be like "no matter what your dad thinks, we're proud of you" (Gina should have said that!). He didn't even get flowers or any other director thank you gift...just nothing. No one was proud of EJ, no director applause moment or appreciation of any type and I just thought that was messed up. Especially because you know he was already sad knowing he had graduated and they're all going to have a year of school going on without him...and he basically got a preview at camp that they can and will go on without him without even really missing him (and Ricky essentially replaced him). He basically got told by everyone, including his own father that they don't really care about him (not literally just looking at it from his pov). It was just really sad to see and I don't even know what the point of it was? Like what is his storyline from here and what was his storyline from this season supposed to be if it lead up to THAT? He just wants to matter and be important to someone! And it probably doesn't even have to be romantic at this point!

Lastly, the final scene...I found it (and the finale in general) kind of underwhelming? The premiere red carpet thing was weird and it felt like a dream sequence or something, and then from there we jumped into them watching the premiere trailer thing which they all had to know was a load of fake bullshit. I want to know what happened in that one month bc EJ still seemed really angry and upset about Gina, and he was kind of surprised-but-not-surprised by what was revealed about R*na in the trailer. Were they trying to reconcile their friendship or something? Because the look on his face of betrayal and hurt was so sad. I wanted to like the R*na scene, I really did...but it just felt cheap and flat and didn't have the power I wanted their first kiss to have. And the speech she gave....what. the. fuck. So she's been in love with Ricky the whole time (and apparently knew it) which in itself implies she didn't really have those type of feelings for EJ, but then add to that the "you're not a maybe to me" I could not take it seriously after she said that. I think what she meant to say to EJ was "you're a maybe to me, so I'm making up excuses to break up with you". First you have the audacity to piggyback off something EJ said to confess your feelings to Ricky, and then you're gonna say that to him? Was EJ still within earshot? It just felt like Ricky and Gina were putting EJ down (and for what??? it was unnecessary). Also why did I sit through 8 episodes of Ricky freaking out about telling Gina his feelings, being scared to do it, and all the drama about that convo between him and Carlos and him dead set on telling her before the documentary aired for him to NEVER TELL HER his feelings??????

Also remember when we were all arguing about whether it was okay for Ricky to *fake* slap EJ, even if he "deserved it" or whatever? Well I'm glad they let EJ answer that argument for us. He is the bigger person and took the high road, even though no one would have blamed him if he did. I do not know why he called Ricky his "brother" though? Like some brother you've got there. Worse than Conrad and Jeremiah Fisher. Also it just makes everything they did to EJ worse bc camp and the theater are both his second homes (bc his dad sucks) and he frequently refers to the Wildcats as his family, but his "family" doesn't seem to give a shit about him.

Overall, but especially the ending, it all felt weirdly out of character and overly dramatic and like over the top...I know it's always been over the top and dramatic but this felt off and different than usual. It felt like a weird fever dream. I am convinced they were still acting dramatic for the documentary and at the start of next season it will be revealed (Corbin even said they were showing them the trailer before the premiere thing started and people came in to "get their reactions". which makes me believe they were being filmed and they knew it). Idk I just don't know anymore. I do love the concept of season 4 though so I'll probably watch it just for the HSM cast and nostalgia. And also I'm already this invested might as well finish lol

[araneitela]

AHHHH you're back!! this makes me so happy because i loved coming across your breakdown of her trailer and then sad when seeing you had left. i just really love kafka and i loved reading your opinions on her! so i've been meaning to ask you about something that i hope you don't mind! but what do you think about her path being nihility? i was reading into ix and found that they are tied or represented by laziness, meaningless behavior, and was kinda surprised. do you think that ties in with her? hope you don't mind this! have an awesome weekend!!

Smiling from ear to ear?! // Unprompted asks.

Oh my goodness, this is literally one of the most heartwarming things to receive (and in my case, I got to wake up to it) and so I'm really, genuinely smiling from ear to ear over here. This is one of my favorite things, and it's been years. I'm thrilled that the little meta about her trailer found its way into her tag, because I've enjoyed feedback, even if it's criticism. I live for people trying to poke holes in my logic (to see if it stays upright, as I endeavor to be as canon-strict as possible), or to simply add to it. But I'll also say that I'm the first to plead guilty to praise, who does it not improve the mood of significantly, honestly? But truly, I'm honored that you found details in it that piqued your interest, resonated with you, or even had you look into her with a bit of a specific eye; that's why I do it. And also, character analysis is part of the joy of writing for me, after all! So thank you for this, and choosing to come to me with this, my gratitude is endless! As for your question, forgive me, because I need to give a little bit of background (or scroll down to find my bit about Kafka, I'm just in a rambling mood lately):

Sad as I am to admit it the paths in HSR are not quite as high in lore accuracy as for example, Genshin Impact's visions, are. Where visions are directly tied to a character's ambitions, drive(s) and/or passions and are thus heavily tied to their personalities and actions; paths are a little less simple, as there seems to have much more of a gameplay (the 'type' of RPG role, things like DPS, debuffer, healer, and so forth) tied to them, that counters lore to a degree. Keep reading though, as I have opinions! A good example of this for starters is Jing Yuan, he was given the path of the Hunt (and from the wiki: "Those who follow the "Hunt" Path admire determination, ruthlessness, and tenacious behavior") but his gameplay fits into Erudition's gameplay role perfectly (which is explained as follows on the same page: "Deals remarkable amounts of multi-target damage. The main damage dealer against groups of enemies") though I would also argue that his personality seems to befit Erudition much more as well (again, as per the same page: "Those who follow the "Erudition" Path admire thinking, logic, and strategic behavior"), though I don't write him, so I do not proclaim to be an expert by any means. But in essence, the difficult part becomes the fact that there can be a mismatch between a character's lore and their gameplay, which will often account for a bit of a discrepancy. I also believe some characters have been tied to a specific path, but it seems more likely from a lore standpoint, that they would be part of another but it is still unplayable. So yes, MiHoyo has made this a little complicated, for it doesn't seem common that lore and gameplay overlap one another in terms of paths.

However, I'm not someone who likes to just write off the concept of 'for gameplay purposes' too easy, I'll over-analyze before I simply dismiss anything. Now it's worthy to note that I've been away from HSR for quite some months now, and am not caught up with the story, so take what I say with a grain of salt, and anyone's always free to add to this, or help elaborate!

I wonder how the narrative paths (can?) influence each other. To keep up with Jing Yuan as an example, does he pray to Lan so that he keeps these 'Lightning Lord' powers that he has? To what extent do you need to follow a path to gain any of the powers tied to it? Do you simply take its tenets and 'hold them in your heart', do you progress your faith and live out its virtues in any capacity? Does this then vary from person to person, is it different across each path, because it depends on the temperment of the Aeon tied to it? Or does it go beyond that, and there is inherently a tie to its beliefs that stems from your heart or belief? If we're speaking of how human beings work and their nuances, nothing states that you couldn't 'pledge' yourself to one path, while still adhering to virtues and tenets of another, they simply wouldn't overshadow the former. Yep, it's complicated.

As for Kafka and Nihility/IX. Yes! I do think it ties in with her perfectly. See, while IX's description ("Those who follow the "Nihility" Path admire laziness, exhaustion, and meaningless behavior") is very clear in its message, we need to keep in mind that there are actually primarily two approaches to the concept of Nihilism as a whole. One is simply admitting defeat and falling into the belief system where one believes, just like IX, that all existence is meaningless and so there's no value in life to speak of, so why live? But then if you look into the factions tied to Nihility, you can see the Doctors of Chaos and their caption says the following: "Ponderers who inadvertently encountered the Nihility. They attempt to resist the destiny of Nihility, and try to prove to the Aeon of Nihility the meaning behind the existence of all things." And this matches with what you read when you first meet IX in the Simulated Universe, where you're presented with two options to proceed:

1: You can hate that life has no meaning, turning inwards, sink into gloom and eventually become a Self-Annihilator of sorts, which is kind of, basically, the equivalent of the antimatter legion for IX. 2. You create your own meaning in life. IX presents a belief that there is no meaning, but that does not mean that you inherently need to believe the same thing, and so you find your own significance and value in life. And this seems to be paramount to all of the characters that follow Nihility to one degree or another, including Kafka. For starters, let me remind you of some lines from her SQ to prove it:

Trailblazer: Are you sure you don't follow the Aeon of Nihility? Kafka: Do I sound that negative? No. We believe that existence has meaning, but that meaning is bestowed by ourselves, not by choices.

Kafka's entire involvement in the Stellaron Hunters originates from the fact that she seeks to feel what she's never felt: fear. And this is something that, arguably, makes people value life more than anything: knowing that it's precious, fragile and fleeting. Kafka makes an immeasurable amount of references to choice (and is surprised when it indeed counters 'fate'), and then also vulnerability, which is so tightly tied to the concept of something being able to be lost (something as seemingly trivial as the coats that she collects). You don't need fear to understand the concept of importance, or value, but it inherently strengthens it. But if you wanted a stronger motivation behind it: look at how ardently she follows Elio's script, and it's because he promised her that in the future he chose, she would have what she seeks. Is that not passion within itself? Is fighting and being part of something entirely blindly, not inherently the strongest evidence of craving, a longing for something? And is that not vehemently human? Is that not... the meaning of life itself?

[septembersghost]

Literally everything about the Priscilla movie and the discourse it’s inspired is so bad man :(

not saying this in an "i told you so" way whatsoever, but yeah, i mean, we knew it would be. that was unfortunately a given. it's only going to get worse up until and when the movie comes out. EPE (presumably joel) also made the situation even uglier today by running their mouths criticizing it to TMZ and drawing more negative attention when they could've simply ignored it quietly. i realize i'm a slightly broken record here, and repeating a lot of others at this point too, but it's only noise. the people who revile him are always going to revile him and refuse to investigate any further about his person or his humanity, they want him to be a monster and their minds are made up. the people who who want to victimize priscilla to use her as a weapon with no care for her own voice will keep doing that. and the fans who love elvis are going to keep loving elvis. the people who want to see the movie will, the people who don't, won't, and either choice is valid.

this is how it's been for decades, social media just amplifies the unpleasantness, but it's an echo chamber. nobody yelling is attempting to engage with this with any nuance, or regard anyone involved as flesh and blood people who had complex relationships and made mistakes and also felt great love for one another. they're looking for trouble a reason to be hateful and to fight when they don't even understand or truly care what they're talking about. we know he wasn't perfect, we know he made some bad choices, we know he struggled with his health for several different reasons, we know he had a temper. we also know he tried relentlessly to do better, to learn and to grow personally and artistically, and to be generous and kind and giving of himself in myriad ways. which one do you ultimately find more important? because i really do believe it's the compassion and the light.

do i wish that the beautiful work baz and austin did to restore his legacy and personhood was the final word on it? frankly, yes, but that was never going to happen because elvis remains a fascination and an object of pop culture that gets projected onto depending on the agenda of whomever decides to use him as a mirror. it becomes so separated from why his music and memory remains. what they created still matters, and it makes my heart ache to think of it being undone at all, but i think it will ultimately be remembered, much like elvis himself.

i'm so much more interested in his artistry, his spirituality, and his emotional vulnerability than i am in intimate personal details about his life, but i know that's not the case in a lot of the fanbase, and that's fine, i am very selective in what i choose to engage with and i think we all have the right to curate that experience. i know it's SO hard to ignore, but when it comes to this discourse, don't read it, don't participate in it, and guard your mental health however you can. this movie doesn't change anything any more than any other of the many portrayals of him. more eyes are on it because of, essentially, brand recognition - both name of the director and due to the fast timing following the film last year, and all the press and clamor that surrounded it, the things said (both complimentary and unfair) about austin, the rabid nature of social media that lives to tear things apart. but it ultimately doesn't change anything.

this has been said more eloquently, but nothing has eclipsed or erased him, even after these decades of misinformation and spurious rumor and conspiracy theories and everyone and their neighbor exploiting (or inventing) their connection with him for a book or a crummy made-for-tv movie and cruel, dismissive jokes and cardboard cutouts and cheesy impersonators. something about the soul of him still rises above all of that. the positives we glean and inspiration and meaning we find, and the love we hold onto, rises above all of that too.