#[ which is so funny because it IS a frequent case for us and esp. me that we'd forget we have ongoing amnesia ]

[solarisgod]

After more researching and reflecting, we're coming to terms, positively speaking, that we actually have DID instead of OSDD-1b ( a partial form of DID ) and... wow! This is still a lot to process as it's making me more emotional, but this feels right and better.

[just-antithings]

proshippers r funny to me because of the degree to which yall just lie. "we always tag our content correctly" no the fuck you dont ive been in the world you cannot trick me, trying to filter out all the ""shotacon"" when i still used ao3 was a nightmare because even when it wasnt split between 2293809 different euphemisms which changed frequently as everyone else started realizing "old man/younger man" was being used for like a 6 year old kid instead of age gaps between adults which outside of your roleplay most people do have a different stance on than pedophilia, and people constantly just posting 5 yr old/20 yr old porn ageddown porn of canon adults with zero relevant tags. this has been my experience in all of fandom, telling a proshipper that they need to avoid posting untagged graphic rape porn in tags for shounen is apparently as painful as having your leg sawed off from how people react to it. you have posts insisting that it is at all reasonable for an ao3 user who doesnt want to see pedophilia should simply filter out every possible shotacon ship which is what i did so i can tell you thats incredibly unreasonable because that number is generally in the thousands, doesn't count as "tagging correctly", and also DOESN'T WORK because again people will just not tag shit or do agedown porn without tagging it so you can be in the tag of a ship for characters who are 50 and 60 in canon when lo and behold AU porn where the older one is babysitting the younger one and theyre 20 and 10, no tags except "Au - babysitter". like tbc i do think that even if you have the minimum balls to tag your adult raping a kid porn "pedophilia" you should still be criticized for that which i know the main conceit of the anti anti movement is pretending is worse than murder, but its wild how often people let yall just lie that tagging correctly is the universal or even a common standard. thats not even getting into the fact that ao3 doesn't let you select tags to automatically filter so you have to type in every individual tag you want out every single time you do a search. but no everyone should have to spend 4 hours theorizing every possible way you could weasel words your way around describing an adult having sexual intercourse with a child and then individually type em all in just so they can see read old men fucking without one of them being turned into a middle schooler. like with every other anit anti talking point it runs into the ultimate problem that yall are lazy assholes who are in this community in the first place because youre so allergic to compassion you can only tolerate people esp children if youre jacking off to them and so any measure yall claim you take for the good of others is ultimately a lie. also i still havent forgotten all those times you defended irl pedophilia or that one time you said you had a kneejerk reaction to discredit someone talking about a case study of irl csa by defending the pedophile and blamed "antis" instead of the fact that you spend all day every day defending being attracting to children. which is much worse, obviously

[traumatictouch]

why tomura reads like a sexual abuse survivor

ive noticed that a lot of survivors - including me - easily read tomura as a csa survivor. ive decided to try to put these impressions into words, mostly for myself, but also for anyone curious as to why he’s so frequently read this way, or why i personally write him as such. i will mostly be elaborating on the reoccurring sexual assault imagery and csa survivor traits tomura exhibits.

triggering themes ahead, including discussed child sexual abuse, incest (sibling and pseudo), trauma and its effects, and sexual assault imagery (from the bnha manga itself). also spoilers for the most recent manga arc.

(disclaimer: i realize symptoms of trauma are pretty much common all across the board, and depression also comes with a lot of these behaviors - but there are some that crop up more commonly in cases of sexual abuse (especially from a young age) than in others. csa survivors also frequently end up with depression, too, so that doesn't necessarily take away from it.)

i’ll start with the cover above. the hands touching him here are much more expressive than the ones he usually wears. it's also framed in a way where you can't see the ends/cap things very well, and they don't appear so symmetrical, making them feel much more like real, living hands grabbing him.

there's also the fact that his face is exposed, which is something we had rarely seen him do willingly at this point in the manga, and even when he had he was still covered up with a hoodie or completely alone. the way he's covering half his face gives off the impression that he's not okay with the way he's exposed.

all of that, plus the obvious distress tomura is in, gives this very glaring assault vibes.

also, the hands on his head are clearly someone's actual, living hands as well. my guess is afo, especially since they seem to be petting him, which is reoccurring imagery between tomura and afo.

tomura's total lack of privacy

there's a clear lack of boundaries between tomura and the adults in his life. most of the spaces that seem to belong to tomura (the bar - he feels safe enough there to take Father off, and his room) are accompanied by cameras and audio transmissions from afo. he has no privacy, and doesn't even seem bothered by this fact.

he also doesn't seem to set boundaries with other people in general. toga can hold a knife to his neck, spinner can grab him and yell in his face, the doctor can shout over his earpiece, dabi (or anyone, really) can say whatever rude or callous things he wants to him… really the only time i can think of that even comes close was when mr. compress made a joke about working with overhaul and tomura said "hey, not funny."

he seems to kinda just let whatever happen to him. earlier in the series, tomura seemed to rely on kurogiri to notice when he needed space and step in for him rather than ask for it himself. that's a pretty telltale sign of someone who's had their needs and boundaries violated (or even punished) for a long time.

Tomuras over-attachment to afo and his praise/affection

obviously afo groomed tomura whether it involved sexual abuse or not, but it is something that could have easily lended itself to that as well. early in the series, tomura clearly highly valued afos opinion of him, and seemed to strive to please and repay him for his kindness. these are feelings afo incited in him on purpose and did, canonically, take advantage of to turn tomura into a villain and pawn - who's to say he didn't use it for other purposes, too?

it's also the kind of thing survivors tend to latch onto to cope with their abuse. it can be easier to think of the event as being affection, returning a favor, and/or special treatment, than to think of it as abuse. tomura looked up to afo so much that it's possible he could have considered (or been convinced) that it was special that someone as great as afo wanted to do something so intimate with him.

also, if this is really tomura realizing his sensei isn't as special and powerful as he'd been led to believe, then his reaction being to cover up while looking angry might, well… be a reaction to feeling used.

Tomura & older men

there's not a lot of people besides afo that tomura seems very quickly, openly… invested in. there are two major ones i can think of, and they are both 1. older men, and 2. mentor figures (even if not to tomura.)

the most obvious of the two is aizawa, who tomura has seemed pretty fond of since his first appearance and, even in the most recent chapters, can't seem to help but think about how cool aizawa is. aizawa isn't a mentor to tomura, obviously, but he is a teacher and tomura knows this. (and seems impressed by the way he tries to protect the students in his care--something afo very specifically does not do for tomura.)

the second, and perhaps less obvious to most, is Stain. i wrote up a whole post trying (trying.) to explain the way tomura seemed interested in him, and you can see a bit more about that and how tomura was hoping he'd be a mentor to him here.

in other words, tomura has shown reoccurring interest in older men, who are mentors, that he does not show for anyone else.

early sexual abuse can influence a person's attractions. survivors tend to be drawn to what is familiar, even if it hurt, and so it's pretty common for them to be attracted to and/or desire a relationship with those who resemble their abuser(s).

and afo is an older man who is a mentor to tomura (and others.)

immaturity (& age regression)

tomura, in early canon, is often described by characters in-universe as being childish, especially in regards to how he processes his emotions. (i don't really like to conflate these things with "age" or "being childish" - but the way the manga itself presents these qualities is clearly intended to give tomura a immature/childish vibe.)

tomura's emotional processing, simple motivations, fixation with video games, toys littering his room, and need for close caregiving (kurogiri) all give off the impression that he's had trouble developing the way he "”should”" have--kind of like he didn't really move on at all.

this sort of stunted development tends to occur in people with childhood trauma, especially csa survivors. ptsd at its core is the brain getting "stuck" in the moment of trauma, so if the trauma occurred as a child, then one's development is somewhat halted there, especially in areas of emotional processing, because the brain and body have to dedicate so much energy to just trying to cope and survive. it's pretty common for csa survivors to have trouble coping with and controlling their emotions.

relatedly: i have no real way to confirm this right now, but i’ve heard that during the mla arc, while tomura was kind of going in and out of flashbacks, he started switching to using “boku” - a self pronoun for young boys - as opposed to his usual “ore”). ive since had to wonder if this is a reoccurring state for tomura - it might partly explain why he keeps his toys around despite never showing interest in them on-screen, and has such close supervision from kurogiri.

again, age regression can go for any kind of childhood trauma, but seems very common in child sexual abuse survivors in particular.

Lack of hygiene (esp oral)

look at how tomura's teeth are drawn compared to even another villains. dabis teeth are straight and clean, whereas tomura's have holes and chips, and tend to be drawn uneven with wobbly lines, like they're covered in plaque.

not caring for one's hygiene is common for people with depression too - but failure to care for teeth also frequently crops up in survivors of sexual abuse, due to an aversion to things touching or being inside their mouth, because it can remind them of the abuse.

in a similar vein, tomura's hair looks unwashed and greasy to me, especially when it gets long. it sort of gathers in clumps and appears heavy. survivors may avoid taking showers because they aren't comfortable removing their clothes for long periods of time, or because the abuse occurred in proximity to bathing. (which is a convenient time for parental figures to groom and abuse their children, since it already involves them being naked and the parent touching them closely.)

in general, there just seems to be something off about tomura's relationship with his body. maybe it's the way he barely bats an eye at major injuries, doesn't care for his hygiene, self-injures, and didn't mind undergoing a surgery that altered its shape and function pretty heavily--but i get the impression that tomura sees his body as just a tool more than anything.

which, if someone grew up having their body regarded as nothing but a means of pleasure, kind of makes sense.

his clothing

im not sure if this has the same “connotations” (for lack of a better word) for flat chested people, but tomura always wearing a lowcut shirt that shows off a fair amount of his chest, but covering the rest of himself head to toe--including his face--feels significant to me. as well as the way he covers up even more (his hoodie) when he’s stressed. the hands, too--being covered up seems to be calming for him.

the placement of the hands afo gave him

you can't tell me little tenko placed these hands where they are by himself. the ones on his chest aren’t even from his family or meant to resemble them - they’re additional hands afo gave him to wear. pretty weird place for “afo”’s hands to go...

I feel like theres a little bit something to tomura frequently having his clothes ripped off during fights

not that it's particularly uncommon for bnha characters to get their clothes a bit shredded during fights, but i can't help but feel like there's something to tomura getting torn down to nothing but his pants twice, with both battles heavily involving tomura's traumas, including the ones related to afo. the vs mla arc with how tomura met afo and how he turned him into what he is today, then the war arc where the methods afo used to control and abuse tomura (the hands) are brought back again--and afo repeatedly takes tomura's bodily autonomy away from him.

AFO's predatory behaviors

tomuras own behavior aside, All For One himself has some behaviors and imagery that gives off very predatory vibes. i’ll start with Ragdoll…

most people theorize that she was going to be turned into a nomu, but there are two important things here. ragdoll was found 1. alive, and 2. naked. all nomu are made from corpses - if afo had time to take her quirk and undress her, he certainly had time to kill her, especially since three days had passed since she was kidnapped. (and, what benefit would there be to making a nomu out of a quirkless hero?)

her dazed state is also curious - we've never been told taking or giving quirks has a side effect like this, and i would think itd at least wear off after three days…

there's also not actually a lot to suggest she was submerged in one of the tanks (that i know of); in the full body image, she doesn't seem to be soaking wet or anything. there's no water dripping off her. there's just a bit of liquid on her face and neck, which could merely be sweat, or… other fluids.

this next part is more debatable due to it being more dubiously canon (although My Hero: One’s Justice has been known to basically spoil villain related lore before it appears in the manga) - but he has some dialogue that makes him sound... pretty fuckin enthusiastic about sexual violence.

and time and time again, afo has been... very creepy and obsessive about his brother. who happens to look an awful lot like tomura, and is vaguely connected to nana as a user of OFA, and we know how far afo would go to spite both of them.

The "wow this is pretty much confirmed now" page

i always thought i was just projecting when i read tomura as a csa survivor - until i saw this page, which was so viscerally uncomfortable that it made me nauseous. it definitely made me decide i wasn't just reading into things that weren't there. that's not exactly to say this panel 100% confirmed it (though it certainly did in my mind, personally) -- but the imagery here can't not be deliberate.

tomura is literally shirtless and bent over before afo, and sure, afos not completely standing behind him, but that's partially because his lower half is inside of tomura. and from our previous example of afo taking over tomura's body…

i wish i could find the translation i first saw - this is the viz translation, which is notoriously horrible - but the one i read felt much more along the lines of "i saved you, so i get to do what i want with your body."

that is a line of logic that could have EASILY applied to their earlier relationship. the way afo saved tenko was very much on the forefront of tomura's mind early in the series, possibly either an idea he clung onto to justify the abuse he experienced from afo, or something afo personally reminded him of frequently.

also… part of afos body is definitely wrapped around tomura's upper thigh, and in certain panels seems to be emanating from between his legs.

speaking of, tomura's stance is also notable to me. compared to the panel where tomura first realized afo was taking control of him, where his knees are pretty straight on or outwards in a powerful balanced brace, in these panels his knees seem to be bending in towards his body, like he wants to squeeze his legs shut. huh.

i touched on this before, but it's interesting to me that what finally let afo fully take control of tomura's body, was having a hand (one afo very specifically used to control and abuse tomura into doing what he wanted) placed upon his body without permission.

so, all in all, afo is "inside" tomura's body, using it for his own means, against tomura's wishes.

what else does that sound like? no wonder deku feels like tomura needs help, despite everything...

again, this isn't to say that csa is definitely the cause of these things, just that tomura does have an abundance of behaviors and imagery that could easily be read that way.

[sixth-light]

I have come to the disappointing conclusion, as someone who backed the Kickstarter and who has listened to/watched the Briarwood arc multiple times, that The Legend of Vox Machina is going to be a show I experience through gifsets for maximum enjoyment. Which is kind of a bummer, and I want to work through why that is, exactly, for my own peace of mind. (This is not intended as a declaration about the show's objective quality and it isn't in the relevant tags for that reason. Rest assured there are no plot spoilers below for the first three episodes, which is where I tapped out.)

First off, stuff I did like: the animation and character design is all absolutely fine, I have zero problems with the CGI dragon, and there's a lot of little vignette moments that I enjoyed a lot (the guards and Trinket, Matt's coat-check character). I also thought the fights/use of spells and checks was translated pretty thoughtfully to a narrative story, esp one where they presumably couldn’t use trademarked D&D things.

On the level of things that simply are not to my personal taste: the regular hyperviolence and heavy reliance on jokes where the punchline is that a subject or act is taboo (e.g. Scanlan peeing on someone, most of the sex jokes, 'ball tag'), plus the equally heavy use in the episodes I watched of cringe/'fish out of water' humour. I am fully aware all of these things were a part of the original show; they were just a much less concentrated part of it. Some of the material also lands differently for me in a visual medium than in theatre of the mind, particularly the violence.

It also makes a huge difference to me when these kinds of jokes or scenes are being told by people I am watching play roles, for each other's amusement, vs by characters in a fully fictionalised story. A lot of Sam's Scanlan stuff I never liked but clearly the other players did, and that smoothed it out. It doesn't get that smoothing in an animated show. Same with all the bits where VM are completely failing to read the room/act like adults - in Critical Role you can see Matt enjoying it. In TLoVM, absent that context and with characters in-story disapproving/annoyed, it comes across as much more puerile. To a degree I think it flattens out the characters too, because they ARE pretty broad stereotypes and when you’re not seeing the actors construct them, it’s less obviously a Choice to make them that way, and at least for me it renders them less interesting. Biggest case in point: Grog.

(Additionally, my golden rule is Some Of These People Have To Like Each Other and three episodes in, I don't believe ANY of these people like each other, aside from Vax and Vex I guess. And they did at this point in the original work!!!)

On the level of things I think there's an objective argument could have been done better...the pacing, oh MAN, the pacing. This is a fanservice show first and foremost, and it means they're trying to introduce fourteen named, important, recurring characters as well as cram in a bunch of in-jokes. In three 22-minutes episodes. There isn't time and it means the action frequently pauses for funny 'bits' which don't contribute to the overall plot, and character arcs are...not really visible. I think the only way it could have been less disjoined is if they had bitten the bullet and picked a couple of members of the cast to focus on as leads, and gradually built up the others. And killed some of their darlings in terms of funny one-off scenes. I also understand that they're apparently having Pike leave the same way Ashley did in CR even though obviously that constraint does not exist here, and like - this is completely inexplicable to me. How hard would it be to write around her presence??? Not that hard! 

There's also a defensible though likely not universally accepted argument that because they're leaning so much on a fairly crude form of comedy while trying to tell a very serious story, it's tonally incongruent in a way that works better in improv than in a traditional narrative.

All up I feel like, if this story was going to exist as a coherent narrative that would attract non-CR watchers, it needed to be worked up by people who were familiar with the genre but NOT big fans of CR. Instead what's been made is a show that is aimed at people who are intensely familiar with the source material and have a particular view on which parts of it make it great, i.e., the parts I liked least.

Which, again. This was a fan-funded project originally, there's some logic to this. And I will freely admit that if the bits that hit my personal buttons were toned down, I'd probably be a lot more forgiving about the writing.

But it turns out that when it comes to adaptations, especially when I think about my reaction to WoT, or how I feel about comics!TOG vs TOG-the-movie...I'm not actually very interested in one-to-one adaptations or adaptations that largely exist to create visual representations of an original text. I want to see adaptations that stand alone as coherent stories within the confines of their new medium. So, for example, this REALLY changes my expectations about what I might enjoy in, e.g., a Rivers of London tv show if one ever happens. TBF that's a bit different in that the original author started as a scriptwriter, but still; I think I'd actually want to see a lot more change than I've discussed in the past. This goes all the way back to LoTR twenty years ago, so it’s pretty clearly now a part of How I Enjoy Stories. 

Anyway, like I said: clearly TLoVM is working out for a lot of people, good for them, I'm going to stick to gifsets or maybe curated highlights when the first season is done. The bits I like don't outweigh the bits I don't like and sometimes that's how it goes.

[kelasparmak]

hello! might i ask for podcast recs? literally anything ! i trust your taste xxxx

Awwww, you! I’ve kept the descriptions short because there’s a LOT, but I’ve given you genre/vibe because I’m not sure which aspect of my taste you like. Also it’s still very long so sticking it under a cut.

Campaign Podcast: Always my number one rec. Improv comedians play a TTRPG and chaos predictably ensues. There’s two campaigns, Star Wars and Skyjacks, the first one is complete and the second one is ongoing – they have slightly different vibes (think TAZ Balance vs Amnesty, I guess). VERY funny and will occasionally punch you in the heart.

Wooden Overcoats: Very funny, frequently heartwarming, excellent acting. Easy to get through (there’s 3 seasons with ~8 episodes each) and even though the characters are usually very stressed and in ridiculous situations, it feels pretty low stakes to listen to so it’s a fun one for if you’re stressed.

Caravan: Western/fantasy which I don’t think is actually a comedy but is still frequently very funny. Great acting, very fun and relatable protagonist who just keeps on choosing compassion over violence. Thoughtful coverage of mental illness, being brown and queer, and sexy vampires. 18+ but not super smutty and has content warnings.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Sci-fi drama about revolution and found family. The plot is pretty serious and involves galaxy-level stakes, but/and the series is very much driven by very well-written and realistic human connection right from the start – it’s very good at making you-the-listener genuinely invested in what happens. Loads of queer characters and the crew has two South Asian women, an East Asian woman, a trans Jewish man, and a nonbinary character. I probably don’t need to tell you this, but the world of popular audio fiction is Pretty White, so it’s nice to see podcasts where that’s not the case esp in genre fiction.

Victoriocity: Drama/comedy set in an alternate universe London. Feels very Discworld – really inventive worldbuilding, fun twisty plot, political intrigue, hilarious deadpan narrator, great acting.

In Strange Woods: Musical about grief, trauma, and how small and powerless humans are compared to nature. Really, really good. You’ll cry. It’s  a quick listen – 5 episodes, all less than an hour long.

Oblivity: Sci-fi drama comedy, very funny, very found family. You’ll be surprised how much you care about the characters given how stupid it is.

Alice Isn’t Dead: You’ve probably been recommended this already but it bears repeating. Really well-written, acted and produced. This one’s not got a lot of humour in which isn’t usually my preference, but it’s really good. It’s got a lot of the Something’s Not Right energy of Nightvale, but goes full creepy with it. Really immersive but maybe not one you’d binge or listen to right before bed...

Greater Boston: Drama more than comedy but also deeply funny. Lots of apparently separate stories converging, clever writing (really good at giving a massive cast of characters distinct personalities), really emotionally impactful coverage of topics like grief, racial inequality, addiction, classism and more, doesn’t try to give easy answers but is also very focused on community power and optimism. Also there are cheese robots.

We Fix Space Junk: Sci-fi drama comedy, very anticapitalist, big found family feelings. Lots of fun, job-of-the-week episodic format makes it a relatively low-focus thing, even when the stakes are high it feels very safe to listen to, and the characters are v likeable (even the ones you really wouldn’t have expected).

Girl In Space: Sci-fi drama, found family and revolution, you may be noticing a pattern. It’s a lot of fun, the protagonist is super likeable and draws you in from the start. For Vorkosigan Saga fans, if you liked Shards of Honour, you’ll like this. Deals with fraught parental relationships, grief, loneliness, anti-imperialism, and more, but even though the stakes are high I didn’t find it stressful to listen to.

Death By Dying: Dark surreal drama. I don’t know if I’d call it a comedy per se but it’s very funny. Big Nightvale vibes. Deals with grief and mental illness pretty prominently, but in a very reassuring way.

The Prickwillow Papers: Fantasy drama. Lots of fun and incredible voice acting. Deals with the difficulty of letting yourself be helped, coping with guilt, and not being ‘special’. Features the most cantankerous fae you’ve ever encountered. I love her.

Middle:Below: It has GHOSTS it has CATS it has a PICARDIGAN. What more do you need to know? It’s a lot of fun to listen to, often funny and sometimes genuinely spooky (which hits all the harder for how chilled out and cosy it feels most of the time).

Mabel: Dark fantasy drama. Really poetic, well-acted, really good at suspense. Very cool modern take on changeling/fae mythology. Not much humour and very intense, which is not my thing at all, and I’ll be honest I didn’t find it an easy listen, so it took me a long time to get through it. But it’s really good and it’s definitely worth checking out, I did enjoy it, it’s just not necessarily one you’d want to de-stress to at the end of the day.

The Amelia Project: Drama/comedy about an agency that helps people fake their deaths. Great voice acting, very fun, and I really enjoy how international it is. Uses the episodic ‘client of the week’ format in combination with big picture plot in a really engaging way. Feels a bit Leverage-y especially because of how clever/absurd the plans are.

Harlem Queen: Drama set in the Harlem Renaissance. Another serious one, and deals explicitly with heavy issues including racism and violence, without much reprieve in the form of soft moments or humour. But it’s very well-made and worth a listen, and there’s not a lot of it.  

The Orphans: Sci-fi drama. Expansive space opera type show with mindblowing amounts of worldbuilding. Revolution, ethics of cloning, anticapitalist, etc. Not a comedy but has some really funny bits. You’ll need to pay attention especially because it starts off with a pretty big cast of characters who don’t refer to each other by name super often and many of them have similar voices. But don’t worry too much about that – you’ll still know what’s going on even if you can’t tell them apart for the first few episodes, and you’ll be able to tell at least some of them apart.

Midst: I’m only a few episodes in but I’m enjoying it so far! Cool worldbuilding, really interesting collaborative narration/storytelling, not a comedy per se but often funny.

I Am In Eskew: Surreal horror, mostly psychological. It’s another Nightvale-y one but again without really any of the humour. It’s really good, but I’ll be honest, I’ve only listened to about 10 episodes so far, even though I started it ages ago.

 ….and probably lots more that I’m forgetting? I listen to less stuff at the moment because I’m working pretty much all the time, so anything I need to really focus on or that’s emotionally challenging is p much out of the question.

[heffrcns]

william schofield falling in love with a stenographer:

this is my first hc request, so i’ll give it a shot :) though please keep in mind this is my first time doing anything like this, so please be easy on me (esp. with typos/mistakes) !! also, this ended up being pretty long i’m sorry ahhh !!

warnings: none really, fluff! kinda cliché in parts though oop, i’m a sucker for it

(also i apologise for any historical inaccuracy, this is all for the purpose of the story!)

will was in the trenches, which he was somewhat used to at that point, when he first saw her

a beautiful young lady (he especially thought so) stood with her pen and paper in hand, scribbling down her observations

will was instantly intrigued by both her beauty and what she was doing

she was allowed restricted access to near the front lines, in order to record her eyewitness accounts of the horrendous war that was happening around her

this made will think a lot about how different their roles were, in the same place at the same time

while being deep in thought, he also made the decision that he needed to talk to her, at some point or another

but initially, he couldn’t bring himself to

what if he made a fool of himself? why would such a beautiful woman want to speak to him? she was surrounded by men, after all

he brushed away his irrational thoughts by moving along the trench to check on his fellow soldiers

he also made a promise to himself - that he will talk to her next time

the next time her saw her, however, she wasn’t alone

another soldier he didn’t know the name of was striking up a conversation with her

although he was too far away to hear what they were saying, he did hear her let out a laugh

and wow, was it the most angelic laugh he had ever heard

but he then remembered why she was laughing

because of another soldier. another soldier that wasn’t him

filled with involuntary jealousy, he stayed put until the soldier (finally, he thought) left her alone

this was his time to talk to her

so with sweaty palms, a nervous gulp and sigh of frustration for getting so worked up, he started to make his way over to her

his jealously faded more and more the closer he got to her, her beauty being undeniably overwhelming to him

when he finally got to within a metre of her, she noticed his eyes directly on her

this lead to the most vibrant smile making its way onto her face

oh boy, will almost died on the spot

the smile was aimed at him

he faintly smiled back, being in too much of a trance to reciprocate it properly

if he could rewind time he would’ve replayed that moment a thousand times over

but since he couldn’t, he found himself clearing his throat nervously, realising he should probably say something

“uh, hi, i noticed you here a while ago - not that i was watching - well i was, but only a bit, uh, and thought i’d say hi.. so, hi?”

he cursed at himself in his head for saying ‘hi’ 3 times and being a blabbering mess

but she let out another one of her angelic laughs, to which he suddenly took back the mental cursing

he didn’t care what he said, he made her laugh

“well, hello” she smiled again, following it up by introducing herself, “and you are?”

it took a few seconds to even process his own name

“i’m lance corporal schofield, uh, william schofield. but uh, you can call me will”

“we’re going by nicknames already, will?” she joked

that was it.

that was all it took - her beauty, her smile, her laugh and her witty remark was all it took to know he had fallen

and he had fallen hard

from then on, that was how it went

every time he saw her (which he made the effort to do a lot), he’d make conversation

he gradually got more confident around her, making jokes himself

and he definitely appreciated her laughs he received in return

it even got to the point where blake noticed his frequent visits to the young woman

so of course, teasing endured

will always replied with a “shut up” or “get lost, you bloody idiot”

but he couldn’t ever deny blake’s remarks

because he was right - he was well and truly whipped for the young stenographer

after a few more weeks of talking, laughing and even a bit of flirting (go on, will ;) ), the time had come

she had to retreat back from near the front lines, as she had a satisfactory amount of records to keep her going

but she didn’t want to go, she really didn’t

and will most definitely didn’t want her to

but duty called

as relectuant as will was to let her go (for now, he determinedly thought) he was also partly relieved that she was going to a less dangerous place

he thanked god that nothing bad happened to her while she was here

and although war doesn’t stop for love, he sure as hell felt like it did when it came to her

so they both savoured the last few times they shared with each other

where it became apparent, for both of them, that their love for each other had grew immensely

out of all the things will expected from the war, falling in love was definitely not one of them

and he really, truly had

never in his life has he felt this way about a woman

no girl he’s ever met at school, the pub or down the street has ever come close

so when they were sharing their last moments together before she had to go, will simply couldn’t keep it in any longer

“hey, uh, i have something to tell you before you go,” he stammered

the same nerves he had when he first met her came flooding back

and she noticed this too

“yeah, what is it?” her intrigued, somewhat concerned voice asked

“i- well, you’re just so amazing, funny, beautiful, god, you’re so beautiful, caring, and every other positive word i can think of,”

he was rambling again, like he did during their first meeting, but still, it felt so different this time

“and anyways, what i wanted to say is, uh, i love you”

and again, just like their first meeting, she laughed

it was a lighter laugh this time, almost like laugh of relief

will looked confused for a second, almost regretful in case she thought he was being ridiculous, until she replied to his confession

“i love you too, will. so much. i wish i didn’t have to leave you just yet”

let me tell you, will’s heart EXPLODED

e x p l o d e d!!!

and the fact she felt the same, combined with the fact she was leaving, gave him a confidence boost

to do what he’d been wanting to do pretty much since he laid eyes on her

with literal heart eyes and a deep breath, he slowly leant down

and then he felt her soft lips on his, as she met him half way

they both melted into it, like their lips were made for each other

cliché, i know, but that’s exactly how he felt

his hands went to rest on her waist, while her arms wrapped loosely around his neck

when they finally (and reluctantly) pulled apart, their foreheads lay against each other, neither of them wanting to move

“hey, will, promise me something?” she broke the silence

he hummed in recognition of her question

“when all this is over, you’ll come find me?”

“of course i will, but you’ve got to me promise me you won’t get hurt. stay safe for me, love, and i’ll come find you as soon as i can” he said

even just the thought of something happening to her made his heart beat faster

“then you’ve got to promise that as well, stay safe for me”

and that sentence, that very sentence, gave him all the determination in the world to make it through the war

he kept going, through each gruelling day, just to see you again

he saw some sights he never wants to see again, lost some people he wish he didn’t, and escaped close calls along the way

but he knew, deep-down, that she was still out there - his love

and she was, waiting for the day will came back to her

thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed :) i feel like i ended it kind of abruptly i’m sorry, but i already got too carried away lmao. i’m also experimenting with tenses, and my next one might be using ‘you’ rather than ‘she/her’, which will also help to make some of my future ones gender neutral :D

P.S. i hope the formatting is okay, it’s done on mobile so let me know if it’s not worked!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #254

“i hate that it seems you were never enough; we were broken and bleeding, but never gave up.”

What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten? My late dog Teddy. Well technically, it was a container of puppy chow behind the tree, but in essence, him. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? I don't think so? Do you think you have a good understanding of love? Yes. What do you want to do on your honeymoon? Relax and enjoy quality time w/ my spouse somewhere great. Do you think Medical Marijuana should be legalized? Yes. If you were forced to dye your hair another color, what color would you get? At this current time, silver. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them, a lot. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Actually talk, Mom. But I text Sara more. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? Uhhh "</code>" by MIW came to me first. What celebrity would you like to meet? M-M-M-mARk What is your favorite clothing store? I can't really say. I like Hot Topic's content most, but they're really not all that broad in size range, so it seems unfair to say them. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? Hell if I know, I don't make those. Do you like to wear high heels? No. What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? Honestly, if it didn't mean leaving Mom behind, I'd go to Canada by now. Recent events have me fucking livid with America's healthcare system. What’s your favorite song from a movie? Like, it was made for the movie? Man, I dunno. Probably something off Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, though. The soundtrack is magical. Where would you like to volunteer? Realistically, I don't know. A zoo would be incredible, but I handle heat incredibly poorly and also canfuckingnot pick up feces or touch vomit. So, that takes a big chunk out of what volunteers can do there. What’s the last song you listened to? "Another Life" by MIW is on repeat right now and I need to turn it the fuck off because I'm in a bad PTSD episode. Do you like being alone? Sometimes, yes, but not for too long. How do you find new music? YouTube recommendations, usually. What’s your favorite city? I don't have a favorite. I've only ever once been to an even remotely impressive one: Chicago. What’s the last YouTube video you watched? Some tarantula one. I'm fucking addicted to tarantulas now and need a Mexican red knee like now. Once we (hopefully) move, I'm gonna at least try talking Mom into it. Where are you going on your next trip? I don't know. If you had to make a six-hour cross-country journey, would you rather take the train, fly or drive? How come? Fly, if I had the window seat. It's relaxing. How long do your earphones tend to last before the connection goes and you have to replace them? Considering I'm like, constantly using them, Mom says they die fast, judging by how frequently I let her know I need a new pair. She got me a big box of them for Christmas, even. I've got one extra pair left. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, assuming it would look perfect with your coloring, what would you pick and why? Pastel pink bc aesthetic. Are you a fan of musicals? If you are, what ones have you seen live and which ones would you like to see? No. Have you ever had to give up something you were addicted to? Did you actually succeed? Yes. Have you ever had to work (or study) with someone that you really didn’t get along with? How did you deal with it (ignoring them, being nice, etc.)? Maybe at some point, idk. Have you ever had any problems with your wisdom teeth, or have they been taken out already? No. Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? Hearing, probably. That'd feel so lonely. Do you find your mood changes when you’re hungry or tired? Does eating or sleeping automatically cure you of a bad mood? I can definitely become irritable if I'm extremely hungry and/or tired. Sleeping helps me with a lot of problems, lmao. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? Did you make up with that person or did you end up losing them over it? Oh idk. Probably something RP-related as a kid. Have you ever gotten really bad travel sickness? Has this put you off travelling or going by certain modes of transport in case it happens again? No, thankfully. What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? I don't support it. Just leaving it at that. If it was a case of prostitution or being evicted from your home, which option would you pick (assuming you’d tried everything else to make money first)? Evict me. Morally, prostituting would kill me. I have family who thankfully I know would let me stay with them. Are you into piercings and tattoos? If not, do you judge people who are, and vice versa? Hell yeah, so I obviously don't judge people who are. What’s your opinion on places like Seaworld? Do you think keeping whales and dolphins in such small enclosures is cruel or a necessary evil? First: I'm not very educated on how similar *all* Seaworlds are. But in regards to keeping whales, it's inhumane as all fuck. They are WAY too big to be held in such a small space for our goddamn amusement. I support zoos who do what they do for conservation and educational purposes, but from my memory of Seaworld, that's not their primary concern. Who is one person that you no longer hang out with? Why did that association end? My former best friend. There's a novel on why I don't associate with her anymore, but the top reason would be she's just a drama magnet that does no wrong. Wonders why her life is so insane and tumultuous while never looking into herself as the potential reason. What was the last item you put into your pants pocket? I don't really wear pants with pockets, but I'm sure in the last case, it woulda been my phone or money. Who was the last person to endanger your life, whether it was accidentally or intentionally? Well I'm certain it was accidental, but idk what the most recent situation would be. What was the last thing you started over on? Job searching, I guess. What was the last task that you completed? Does eating breakfast count? Esp. when you really didn't want it but needed it? Have you ever failed at something extremely important to you? If yes, what? Ah, what a timely question. I dropped out of school for the third fucking time a few days back. When was the last time that you wanted time to move faster? Last night in my regular routine of waking up in the middle of the night twice/thrice. I sleep so poorly that I just want the morning to come at some point so it's "normal" for me to be up. ^Slower? Hm. I dunno. I don't have much reason to want time to slow lately. When was the last time you felt impatient with someone? Currently w/ Mom, but it's at a low level and probably isn't fair feeling impatient in the first place. Who was the last person that you called a “bitch”? I don't know. Probably playfully, anyway. ^Who, if anyone, was the last person to address you by that term? I also don't know. When was the last time you questioned whether or not you were making the right decision? Every time I make one lmao. Has a boy-/girlfriend ever suggested that you might want to lose some weight, or that it might make you look better? lol wow no. What is your idea of “too big” when it comes to weight? Once it comes to a point of infringing on your ability to function normally. ^How about “too thin”? Same as ^, really, it just goes in the opposite direction. Have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend? Yeah, we lasted two weeks lmao. What is the most annoying thing your family members do on a daily basis, if anything? I only live with Mom, and she doesn't regularly do annoying stuff. With which family member do you get along with the least? The best? Least, my grandma. We've gotten kinda better though now that she's dying. Best, Mom. ^Why do you think that you don’t get along well with that family member? We have very, very averse beliefs and standards. Who is someone that you wish would be there for you more often? My sisters, honestly. Shit's going on with them, I always reach out to let them know I'm here. Something's wrong with me, I never hear a word. Have you ever felt like someone abandoned you? If yes, explain? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How often do you find that you are bored? Daily, nearly at all times. This is gonna sound pathetic, but I tend to be so bored so regularly that I experience passively suicidal thoughts now and again because I just feel being dead would almost be more exciting. That's something I'll never act on, but yeah. I have mega bad anhedonia. What activity has the best chance of holding your attention for a long period of time? Hm. Playing a game, maybe. Or if I'm watching a really good video on YT. Have you ever decided that you like/dislike someone based on their survey answers? Yup. What previews did you see at the last movie you saw in theaters? Hell if I remember. How many things are you a fan of on Facebook? Wow, a fucking lot. Back in the day I would "like" lots of those pages that just had funny/relatable names, and man does it pay off (usually) now. I Got The Memes. Do you have more friends on Myspace or Facebook? Probably Facebook? I don't really remember the friending process on MySpace besides the "top 8" thing that destroyed friendships, lmao. Have you ever been to a movie that sold out? Maybe? Idk. Have you ever been to a midnight movie? One. What’s your state’s weather usually like this time of year? Too fucking hot. Do you get those leg cramps in the middle of the night? No. What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep? *shrug* Is your cell phone a qwerty (full keyboard) or no? Yeah. What was the last website you logged onto (besides the one you’re on)? PetSmart to apply for a position as pet trainer. I hate chain pet stores, but whatever, I'm desperate. What’s your home page? Google. Do you have split ends? No. When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad? I prefer to have a mouse. If you’re learning a language, what year are you in? I'm not anymore. Do you think you’re done growing or will you grow a couple more inches? I'm sure I'm done. What’s your mom’s mom’s name? Cecelia. Have you ever encountered a creepy neighbor? OKAY at my old place where I used to ride my bike all the time, there was this old man way down the road that liked to talk to me but he creeped me out so much that I started turning back before I got in sight of his place. Do you like the foam soap or the liquidy soap? Foam. Do you tend to lean towards bright colors or more subtle colors? Bright. Do you use British spelling even though you’re not British? No; I even change it in surveys a lot, lol. When was the last time you attended a barbecue? I don't have a clue. I don't like them. Can you handle movies involving lots of bugs and insects? Yeah. Are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment? No. What is one similarity between your parents? Christ... they seem incomparable by this point. Do you keep scissors in your kitchen? If so, where? Yes, in the drawer beside the fridge. When was the last time you used a payphone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Have you met everyone who lives on your street? No. Do you have a boyfriend? No. When did you last write out your name? Recently for something at school. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yeah. What friend can you tell everything to? Sara. Would you be shocked if the last person you had feelings for texted you? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted? We're both cis females so physically can't. And neither of us want kids. Who knows your biggest secrets? Mom, Sara, Jason. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? Yeah. Who is someone that puts up with you no matter what? My mom. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago I sobbed for a good while. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Not really. Is there a girl you would do anything for? Anything? No. Is there a boy you would do anything for? No. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Ian, but I haven't read it yet. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever been to an auto show? Yooo I remember as a kid, my family went with our friends to a monster truck show, I think it was? I was so not digging it and wanted to go home the whole time. What was the last thing you cooked for dinner? I had one of those Banquet microwavable dinners last night. Spicy chicken and mac 'n cheese. It's fuckin GOOD and really filling. Do you live in the city/town you were born in? No. Have you slept for longer than usual today? No, I slept terrible. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Have you consumed alcohol today? If so, what? No. What’s your go-to website when you’re really bored? YouTube is my general go-to. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My sister. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? No. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? WHEEZE Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Yes. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yeah. Do you live with your parents? With my mom. Can you do a blackflip, or anything else of that sort? No. What moment in your life have you been most scared? The night of the breakup, particularly when Mom dragged me back inside and I just literally melted. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? No. Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take them. Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? Were you? Yes, but it was entirely illogical, so I obviously wasn't. Anxiety and being terrified of pregnancy is fun. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? I don't cook. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; yes. Have you ever ripped your pants in public? I don't think so? Do movies such as Saw and The Grudge scare you easily? No. How many best friends do you have? What are their names? One; Sara. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been dared to do? Did you do it? No clue. Can you drive? I mean I can, but I'm terrified of it, and my permit is expired anyway. What do you consider to be a good grade? What do you consider to be a bad grade? B; C and below. Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? No. Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yes, I adored them both. Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Multiple people. Who was the last person you slow danced with? laskdjflka;jwe What’s your favourite song at the moment? Ah shit man idk. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones aggravate my ears. Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? We don't even have one here. How do you get to school? N/A What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? The first Wings of Fire book, and yes, very much. Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? Scream, no. I'll say them sometimes, though. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? Mom, Sara. Jason, probably, as much as I hate to admit that. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? HYPOTHETICALLY, if I even wanted kids, yes. I'm very empathetic and care a shitload about mental health, so I think I'd be a very good cheerleader for them. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? Again hypothetically, a meerkat, but I DO NOT support them as pets and get very upset when I see them as such. What bill do you hate paying the most? I don't have any. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, who and where would it be? Sara to the mountains of NC. Favorite non-sexual thing to do with girl/boy? Play games together. Who from high school would you like to run in to? A handful of people.

[steamishot]

cesar chavez day

today is a holiday for us. i’m usually excited for 3 day weekends, but i don’t really have big plans for this one. rereading my last post, i realize that a part of the situational depression is also coming from the rise of anti-asian hate crimes. it may do more damage than good that i check the news/reddit every morning and frequently come across a new instance of asian hate crime. i’m starting to really dislike this walking/transit culture and have been missing the car culture back home. i’ve become hypervigilant whenever i’m in public now, even when i’m with matt. i practice social distancing not because i’m afraid of covid, but because i’m paranoid a rando may strike me at any moment. 

re. situational depression - this also tends to happen after i spend too much time on social media and start the comparison game looking at girls who seemingly have perfect lives.

with the uptick of craziness happening in our world, i don’t feel very inclined to go out, which makes my already boring/isolated life even more boring. however, when i do go out, i look for other girls, esp asian girls who seem to be living normally and think - “look, she’s brave. i need to be more like her.” 

to keep a record of all the girls i’ve met so far: 1. tiffany 2. akiko 3. sophia 4. hannah, sarah, spencer 5. nadia 6. lucy. meeting friends has actually been easier than i thought - like, i can be quite popular if i tried xD. so far, i plan to see everyone a second time (if i haven’t already) with the exception of tiffany. funny enough, lucy also met tiffany. she described her as a someone from UCLA but is from NYC and said they didn’t connect well. from the list, i like sophia the best. she’s the most carefree/silly and also a really great listener. 

in our last staff meeting, our director mentioned that it is likely WFH will be extended to october. i really hope this is the case. aside from the obvious viral issue, i feel like it would make more sense to allow people to continue working remotely if they were successfully able to do so until it is completely safe to be going back to the office. 

[everyoneneedsalisteningear]

Dear friend, wanted to share with you something I've deliberated upon.

as a person who was an avid kpop fan 2010-2013 (fan of SHINee) , then a casual follower up til start of 2020 where I am now a fan of MAMAMOO, it got me interested how BTS managed to achieve the kind of international success they did.

after some research (and yes I do like a couple of their songs but I'm not a hardcore fan), I concluded that it's really all a team effort.

yes the members (abilities, personalities, being involved in their music etc) do play a huge part, but I'm more amazed at the whole marketing aspect. simply because there's also many other talented, funny and genuine kpop artists out there who have never achieved their kind of unparalled success.

There are many many people behind the scenes, thinking of concepts, ways to promote, directors of MVs, song arrangement, social media platforms... there's bound to be alot of strategic planning going on. I would say that BTS's company also plays a huge part in their success. from what I read online from their fans, it's very clear that however promotions are being done, everything about BTS (at least what makes them likeable) is being churned out very regularly and delivered very easily with great accessibility to the the public. because the fans feel like they connect with the members individually on a personal level, they feel like they're being appreciated, they feel like the members are somewhat saints? they truly feel it. and we know from the power of the Internet that with social media, videos, interviews and all that, that kind of connection is very very possible when the correct content is delivered. as someone who has been and currently am a fan of kpop groups, I can say I've felt it before. as if you knew the person like a friend. but I know now it's an illusion. all the content makes you feel that way, but in the end you don't know them irl, and all they can be to you, is a source of good music, solace, warmth and positive vibes/funny content.

the way I was obsessed about SHINee when I was 14ish is different from the way I like MAMAMOO now. yes I do watch fan-created compilations of my favourite moments and squeal and whatnot, but back then, I was obsessed with their personalities and who they were as a person, in addition to their talent itself. there's this personal link that when I look back on it, is quite laughable? we only know them briefly from what we see on screen. back then I used to scour through all the videos I could ever find of them, watching ALL the content I could find, branding myself as a shawol with badges and stickers and doodles.

whereas now I'm trying to move away from that. I do really appreciate mamamoo, their talents and music, and some things they do (fan service type stuff) are very exciting and they are complete crackheads at times which is extremely amusing. but what impresses me most is their performances and their music, and I believe that should be the core of everything.

I think that's something Western music has over kpop, is because they don't have variety and reality shows for mini celebrities or the idol culture, that whoever makes music, literally just makes music. and whatever else they do is just a side thing that comes up as gossip sometimes. whereas in kpop groups there's this whole need to share yourself and build your brand and whatnot which is just slightly... manufactured.

anyway I missed my point.

so why is BTS so successful? team effort. the members themselves have the abilities and personalities and music to make it out there, and the company truly believes and invests in them in a very successful manner, being creative and churning out promotional content like no other, and targeting American audiences from the start, with twitter as well. also I think another thing is that BTS's producer or CEO etc is actually a songwriter and produces many of their songs. this kind of consistent and harmonious relationship is what makes good songs that the artists feel and are able to deliver as well. it's the same for mamamoo, whom their CEO is their main producer and songwriter, and frequently works very closely with the members to create songs and concepts.

but I think BTS's team really took it to the next level. thing is though, I guess, is also finding the main appeal of whichever audience. I can understand BTS's appeal to international audiences and mamamoo's appeal more to Asian audiences (esp at the start, but with HIP it feels more international-appealy), but I can't exactly pinpoint it. it's just their vibe I guess. a more laid back, individualistic, creative and hipster vibe? *somehow BTS found a road of their own, and their company were extremely successful in showing their unique road. * I believe it has alot to do with very accurate marketing analysis and strategy (looking at what's different in the market, what appeals, how to utilise social media efficiently etc etc), as well as the members having alot of say in what they do (think about it, teenagers will know best what appeals to teenagers🤷‍♀️), in addition to their abilities that are obviously of standard.

don't even get me started on groups that have great popularity WITHOUT abilities, that kinda pisses me off. in that case, their songwriters/choreographers should be getting so much more credit than they themselves 😤

but yeah. that's just my take on it.

coz as a fan, let's say I don't have MMMTV, which is behind the scenes footage of mamamoo during various promotional activities, or Vlive broadcasts, then I will feel significantly less attached to them. having inside jokes and all these getting to know personally is part and parcel of the whole kpop idol package, as yucky as it is, that we judge music not only by the music and performances, but also by visuals, concepts, personalities, humour level and range + timing of promotional videos released on various Internet platforms.

isn't that a feat and a half.

[himbowelsh]

"webster's pickup lines are either really poetic and breathtaking or nerdy as hell" truest of truths. if you up for it .. can i request winnix, baberoe, speirton, webgott, luztoye & how they flirt/their individual flirting style?

WINNIX

okay so there are two versions of flirty lewis nixon

there’s nix and then there’s drunk!nix

nix is charming. he’s a mixture of intelligence and charisma, and he’s absolutely lethal. lewis nixon is very good at winning people over when he wants to, and he knows he’s handsome. when he wants someone, he can be impossible to resist.

and then there’s drunk nix.

drunk!nix will come up with a mixture of self-deprecation and failed pickup lines. he’ll be a little too handsy, too aggressive, and he’ll sulk when he’s turned down. and he will be turned down -- no one wants to get too close to someone who’s sweating booze, even if they do have lewis nixon’s face.

meanwhile, all-american boy dick winters takes everyone aback, because dick has actually got game.

he’s very particular about the sort of people he flirts with, and he’s not a consummate flirt, but when he likes someone, he’ll make it known.

of course, he’s always respectful. he doesn’t come on too strong, but he’ll be confident and free with genuine compliments.

(always genuine compliments. he never says anything he doesn’t mean.)

he is... shockingly smooth. he’s almost as good a flirt as nix, except he doesn’t have a drinking problem to contend with. his success rate is waaay higher.

the only one who appreciates both drunk!nix and normal nix’s flirting is dick. like, dick will eat up nix’s normal flirting (he loves seeing happy, charming nix, and sometimes even dick winters can be swept off his feet) but he tolerates nix’s drunk flirting.

he’ll try to keep him under control, but usually the night ends with him taking nix home and tucking him into bed, making sure he’s comfortable and safe. he takes care of him, and if he has to tolerate a stray hand on his ass, he will. nix always seems a little embarrassed in the morning anyway.

they’re 200% the couple to banter-flirt back and forth with each other, and usually dick winds up saying something that catches nix off guard and renders him speechless. it’s always the simplest thing, like “i really love your smile” or “i think you did that thing brilliantly today” but nix is just swept away and falls in love all over again.

BABEROE

french!!!! french french french french!!! gene flirts in french and it drives whoever he’s flirting with (esp babe but anyone) crazy.

he’ll murmur sweet words, always on the right side of suggestive, in this low voice that sends chills up their spine. that, combined with his half-shy, half-mysterious smile, never fails to win anyone over.

he’s surprisingly confident?? like, he’s willing to put himself out there. when he’s interested in someone he’s interested, and he’ll go get ‘em.

now babe is Not Good At Flirting

he tries, bless him, but he gets nervous and fumbles over his words and will use these really lame pickup lines that julian assures him are great

babe is eager, like a puppy, and really sunshiney, but he has the game of an orangutan that’s missing all it’s teeth.

gene loves to flirt babe, because no matter how long they’ve been dating he still gets all red and giggly and makes noises like he’s hyperventilating.

“je n'ai jamais aimé un autre autant que je t'aime...”

he has no clue what gene is saying to him, but babe LOVES IT.

babe is more physical. he’s literally swept gene off his feet on a few occasions, which usually ends with them both falling on the floor, but it’s the effort that counts. gene appreciates it anyway.

SPEIRTON

okay imagine a bullet

flirting

that’s speirs

speirs is intense. kind of scary intense. he keeps people on the edge of their seats, and says stuff that surprises them. remember the scene with lipton? that is speirs flirting.

he’s not the best at being charming, but he’s dangerously smart, and that gives him his own type of charm. he impresses people with a few roman history facts, flashes that dangerous smile, and he’s got his lead.

then he drops compliments. just enough that manages to charm, and then...

he doesn’t pursue. he lets things pan out from there, but once he’s got someone sufficiently intrigued he’ll let them take the lead. usually it works out for him.

lipton’s not great at flirting. he’s kind of shy, and isn’t about to stick his neck out there, because he doesn’t want to bother anyone. when he does try to flirt, he��s a bit awkward and kind of nervous.

if someone shows interest in him, however, lipton’s confidence increases. he won’t flirt, really, but he’ll be friendly and warm. he’ll be respectful and won’t come on too strong, but he’ll drop a few compliments here and there to make it clear that he’s interested too.

lipton doesn’t really flirt with speirs much, but speirs LOVES flirting with lipton.

like they’ll be at home enjoying wine and movie night when speirs will say something unexpectedly romantic and breathtaking and lip will just turn into a quietly blushing mess. speirs loves it.

but whenever lipton DOES flirt with him -- it’s happened on one or two occasions -- his face turns bright red and he’s just a sputtering mess. he short-circuits. it’s kind of adorable.

WEBGOTT

like i said -- "webster's pickup lines are either really poetic and breathtaking or nerdy as hell"

he’s not really shy, but he’s not confident. he’s not great at showing his interest so he kind of just... doesn’t. unless he’s really interested, in which case he’ll do his best. usually he has to be engaged first.

if he’s drunk he’ll try to recite love poetry and screw it up.

if he’s REALLY drunk he’ll make up poetry on the spot. BAD poetry.

liebgott is kind of aggressive.

if he likes someone, there’s no point in sitting around. he goes for it.

he’s got a few good lines, but mostly he gets by via body language. bright smiles that get more suggestive as the night goes on, light touches, brushing back hair, touching clothes...

he’s either really presumptuous or really seductive, depending on how into it the person is. if he sees someone isn’t interested, he might persist for a little while, but he will back off.

webster and lieb get into flirt-offs often. sometimes they’ll try to see how many people they can flirt successfully with, but inevitably they’ll come back to each other.

lieb grabs web and pulls him close. “your eyes are fuckin’ gorgeous,” he rasps in his ear.

web runs his fingers through joe’s hair. “your hair is like spun silk. i want to wrap myself up in it... i want to twine my fingers through it while you arch your back against me...”

web wins a surprising amount of the time. when he’s got his head in the game, he knows what he’s doing.

they’re competitive about it, but really INTO it. and they get hot. really hot.

the lines will just get dirtier and dirtier as they both get more into it, until they’re tossing each other onto the nearest bed (or bathroom stall, or hallway... hell, lieb isn’t picky, and if web tries to whine he’s got ways to leave him speechless)

LUZTOYE

george luz is a charming bastard okay

he’s really good at sweettalking people. aside from that he’s just funny?? he makes people laugh without even trying, but when he lays on the charm... whooo.

he’s shameless, and kind of dirty (one he’s sure the other person is interested too) but he’s just got that sort of face where you kind of want to smack him but you also really want to roll with it

i’ll just... bring this back

meanwhile, joe has little interest in flirting, and he’s really not good at it.

joe doesn’t really try. he’s not interested in flattering other people to try and get in their pants, so he doesn’t bother. he hates pickup lines. he’s not an artifical person. he won’t put on airs and graces to endear himself to people.

unfortunately, joe toye is a very flirtatious person. he doesn’t realize it. he doesn’t mean to be. but he is.

he’ll be completely doing his normal thing, when he’ll smile, or make a joke, or grab someone by the shirt and tug them very close to his face...

(with that raspy, smoke-seared voice...)

aaaand boom, joe toye wins the flirting game now and forever.

he doesn’t even realize it and it drives everyone crazy.

flirting with each other, george usually takes the lead. he’ll charm joe right into bed if he has to, and he enjoys doing it. joe doesn’t like to be flirted with much, but it’s different when it’s george.

on the other hand, joe can frequently get george riled up without even meaning to.

when he does flirt, however... it’s an experience.

one that usually ends up with george doubled over laughing, or wide eyed and trying very conspicuously to look like he’s not two seconds away from jumping him.

joe doesn’t get flirting right often, but when he does, he gets it right.