Worth It
Wolffe X Cas (fem Jedi! OC) thank you to @ghoulishhone for giving the idea for this I was forced awake at 5 am because my brain needed me to get it out
Cas and Wolffe take some time to reflect after a particularly difficult battle
Warnings: mentions of death, war
words: <1k
Casadera bonelessly dropped her aching body onto the blue grasses of the cliff and faced out into the blinking night. One would think they would get used to the wonders of space after years of traveling from planet to planet, but every time she thought she’d seen it all that endless wonder would show her something new.
The planet Cas and the 104th had found themselves stationed on had its own galactic show. At night, all of the system’s planets were visible, and in between stars and planets, colors danced. Flashes and flowing streams of greens, blues, and oranges. Cas was sure the phenomena had a name, maybe a sort of solar flare, but she preferred locals’ term for it the “dancing lights”.
Cas was caught in thought, going back through the day's hard-won battle in her head when she felt the approach of a familiar presence through the force.
Commander Wolffe, helmet off tucked in the crook of his elbow, walked to the spot next to Cas. He dropped his gaze down to her briefly, silently asking for permission, and Cas gave him a small smile and patted the soft grass next to her. Wolffe put his helmet down and sat, careful not to disturb the Jedi’s robes that flowed around her.
The two commanders had grown close the past few years they’d spent together, too close the Jedi council had warned her. She was too close with the clone troopers she commanded, too attached. It was dangerous they had warned her, the dark side lurked waiting to lure those over who could not let go. But Cas knew sacrifice and letting go; she sacrificed her own peace, her own men, had left her own master…
No, she wouldn’t go there.
She brought her thoughts back to the present: this cliff and its blue grass, the dancing lights, and the stoic clone commander next to her. When she turned back to him He was already looking at her, his eyes flashing with the lights, his cybernetic almost a perfect mirror. He was scanning her over, looking for any wounds that needed tending. The battle had been over for hours, but the time since had been spent dispensing of any rogue battle droids and caring for the wounded soldiers, both clones and the local planetary forces. Wolffe knew the Jedi would leave her own needs to be dealt with last, and had likely not taken more than a cursory glance over herself to be sure her limbs were all still intact. Wolffe was pleased to find that she was all in one piece, he had been by her side most of the fight to be sure of it, but there was a tear on one of her dirt-stained sleeves, singed on the edges, blaster fire. Cas noticed it at the same time he did.
“Just a graze, I’ll live.” She offered a small smile, and covered her arm with her other hand, but the smile didn’t last. Cas turned her gaze back to the stars.
“Do you-” She began but stopped, worrying her bottom lip as she considered her words. He waited for her to find them.
“Do you think it’s worth it? I mean, fighting this war is it worth it? Every day we send in troops to fight battles all across the galaxy and win or lose the next day there’s another battle elsewhere. It just seems… endless.”
Wolffe hadn’t considered it. He was bred for this singular purpose, to fight this war, and he would probably die for it. But he looked at the Jedi, his Jedi, Cas. He watched the lights dancing in her jewel green eyes and the silver tears lining her eyes and then he thought about all the brothers he had lost. Not just that day, but every day since he’d been deployed off Kamino.
“I have to hope it’s all been for something. I don’t know if it’s worth it if it’ll mean anything in the end, but it meant something to the people we’ve helped.” Cas thought about her Master, then Captain Keeli, and then the people of Ryloth and how they rejoiced when they won their home back. How the people of this planet had cheered and hugged and laughed despite the destruction around them. The tears fell down her cheek, but neither said anything else as the Jedi took her commander’s hand and squeezed tight.
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