#{ also sorry if my explanation is shit but I just can not get it out }

[sumire-bride]

{ Yk Kanato's real funny sometimes but I was reading his relationship with Yui on the fadom thing and jesus christ }

He often mentally abuses Yui like he does to others, and even threatened to turn her into one of his wax dolls, calling it an "honor". He is shown to be extremely possessive toward her from the beginning. However, as stronger feelings develop between them, he regards her as more his property than merely his food, as shown throughout his route as well as character interviews. Throughout many of Kanato's routes, Yui becomes disconnected from reality and becomes dependant upon solely Kanato. She even, in his Vampire Ending of his Haunted Dark Bridal route, appears to loose some of her memory and accepts that, despite this, only their love matters. Kanato's way of showing his love for Yui is incredibly twisted. He enforces this by showing he is willing to do anything to ensure their happiness together, going so far as to murder "everyone who could stand in [their] way"

{ I don't wanna hear "he's like that because of his history/past!!" Ik that and I'm not gonna hate on him for that he had it rough and I think his character is really interesting but like. This is the main reason why I can not view Kanato in a relationship even in his route, he's just so extreme }

{ It's hard to explain but this is literally the most toxic relationship out of all the DL relationships T0T Like it's the type where I can not view Kanato in any form of romance too much. HES CUTE LOOKING WITH YUI BUT THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP ITSELF?? It's real fucked up. I need to read him in DF as well as learn about Shin and Carl and a little bit more to see otherwise but from his route and that it's like home dawg WE NEED U TO GET HELP JESUS }

{ Again, I am not hating on him I think he's a cool ass character who was harmed harshly in the past and he's defo not the only one who has done the worst to Yui, I just wanted to say this AGAIN PLZ DO NOT COME FOR MY ASS }

[anonymouscheeses]

Even more and more of obvious shit I point out because I want an excuse to rant while not interacting with actual people in real life who also like this show because I'm masking 😍💜💜

BARELY STARTED AND BRO. YOU JUST LET HER DO THAT TO YOU, ME PERSONALLY-

HE'S PETTING KEE-KEE I LOVE HIM SMM

HER HOOVES. I LOVE IT. NOT LIKE THAT, IM JUST A FURRY-

*grabs pen*

ANGRY CHARLIE FOR THE WIN. I LOVE WHEN THE HAPPY CHARACTER GETS ANGSTY (Cough. Luz. Cough).

The people writing fanfics where she gets FURIOUS. Omg. That was something I read. I LOVE MY FELLOW FANFIC WRITERS BUT OH MY- YALL REALLY HAD CHARLIE M A D.

"Uh-"

I love his reaction lmao look at his goofy face.

HER BOW BECAME HORNS (my "redesign" is now 100% worse)

SAD VAGGIE. THE BOW. DROOPY.

Oh and the angel dust fellow back there 🤯

I LOVE ROSIE SO MUCH HUH

Tall.

No explanation needed. <3

PLEASE HELP???

CUTIE PATOOTIE. I LOVE HER SM UGGHHH

CHARLIE HATES OLD PEOPLE COMFIRMED YAY 😍😍💅💅

Hot

That's it.

IN SYNC. I LOVE THIS SONG AND THE ENTIRE SCENE. WHY IS IT RANKED SO LOW WITH SOME OF YALL?? Okay well-

I thought this song was gonna be a Charlie and Vaggie duet- tbh I still preferred that BUT I LOVE CARMILLA SO I KINDA DONT CARE.

BUT I WAS ROBBED OF AN ACTUAL FULL CHAGGIE DUET (REPRISE DOESNT COUNT) IF H*SKERDUST GETS A FULL ONE WHY CAN'T CHAGGIE? *SOB* uhh anyway-

Is that. Like. How she thinks actually 😰

I know there's been a lot of the lack of Vaggie's self-worth, which I wish was explored into more. I just think the Vaggie(3rd) episode just wasn't needed at all if it didn't even have an impact. Don't get me started on that episode, it was rushed, too early to have character arcs already, and overall not needed or even should have existed periodt.

I hope they explore it next season because GOD this woman needs TO LOVE HERSELF. OR ATLEAST CARE ABOUT HERSELF LIKE????

SWEET MAMA PLEASE. TAKE ME IN YOUR WINGS AAAAAAAAA

Charlie, sharing is caring <3

Out of all the people I thought Charlie would vent to I didn't think it would be ROSIE. It's a nice surprise tho I love her <3

bisexuality.

That's it.

HE'S DANCING. ALASTOR IS DANCING. THEY ARE SLAYING BESTIES. THE MAN IS DANCING. HELP.

Season 2 is going to be Charlie in her villain era and Alastor's reputation era 😍

I LOVE VAGGIE'S FACE. PRECIOUS BABY UGHH... THEN THE WINGS REPLACE THE BOW AND DROOP UGGHH I HOPE IN SEASON 2 WE SEE MORE OF HER WINGS. OR CUT HER HAIR SHORT SO WE CAN HAVE IT ALL THE TIME. Also so Husk and Vaggie can bond over both having wings. Sorry I love their potential friendship so much. AND LUCIFER AND VAGGIE TOO!! BOTH BEING FALLEN ANGELS OMG. UGH THE POTENTIAL OF VAGGIE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH NOT JUST CHARLIE ARE SO GOOD AND I HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF SEEING HER AS AN ACTUALLY MORE FLESHED OUT CHARACTER. I AM SCREAMING AAAAAAAA.

I can't say how much I love them. It's too much. I cant- yay the teaser image before the show came out <3 they are so fucking adorable. UGH SOME1 END ME

Charlie loves the wings hehehe. Vaggie looks nervous about it. It's probably a reminder to her about when she used to be an exterminator. The healing from everything will take a long time but hopefully Charlie will be there for her the entire time. And vice versa

Ayo- 😰

CHARLIE. T H E PRECIOUS BABY.

Uh next one tomorrow cuz yeah 🤯

[vicissicude]

reading the transcript of james somerton's video and here's some notable stuff for people who dont want to watch the 34 minute long thing:

it opens with him saying his media blackout is because he was in the hospital for "trying to do something really stupid"

the first thing approaching an apology in this apology video is at the timestamp 2:20

immediately after saying "i'm really really sorry" he says that in title cards he tried to put "this is based on this person's research or this person's book" but he "knows that isnt enough now"

"there were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody and i'm really really sorry" nice passive voice james

he claims he didnt know he was hurting people doing this

he spends two minutes explaining how long he's been friends with nick and all their history and that nick has not spoken with him since "this happened"

"I also want to apologize for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos I can honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos. And most cases I didn't write it but I should have […] I should have been more diligent about factchecking" he never intended lies to be in the video, just pure good research that he stole. research that he later says he took for granted

he briefly thanks harris and his team for the fund set up for victims of plagiarism and says he wants to help but doesn't know how

less than a second later he's saying that all claims and estimations of how much he makes online are overestimated and that he split everything 50/50 with nick

he says his plan moving forward is to reupload all the videos, put credit in the description, and then somehow send the ad revenue for those videos to the authors whose research he stole. do those authors want that? wonder if he even asked them. i mean if he stole my shit for a video i wouldnt want him to reupload with a credit in the description and whatever paltry cents i get from the few views he'll manage after this

"I never thought anyone thought that I was doing like journalism on stuff. I don't think anyone did, but the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserved." wild sentence bro

he once again defends his title card citations in two videos and appends "but now I know that's not how citation works" so why are you still saying it...

at some point he'd like to do videos again, and his plan for that is "videos that are fully sourced where I will put a link to the script where you can find all of the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve." now i could be reading this purposefully negatively but this just sounds like a description citation again but with extra steps

he wants to be a "really good example" of proper citation

"People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. I'm sorry that stuff made it into the videos. I promise you I did not write that stuff. I should have been a lot more extracting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that I don't think those things […] when it came to that I would just kind of run with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that." SO THE ONE THING THAT HARRIS SAID WAS NOT PLAGIARIZED AND SEEMED TO BE JAMES'S REAL OPINION HE WANTS US TO KNOW THAT HE DEFINITELY DOESNT FEEL THAT WAY AND WAS JUST PARROTING NICK'S OPINION. but dont worry right after this he assures us he's not trying to "throw Nick under the bus"

he says he thinks they were just trying to do videos too fast and writing and editing too fast

"Telos was never a scam. It was never a grift or anything like that I swear it was not. In the next couple of days I'm going to send out a message to the supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them." can't wait to read that explanation

he spends more time talking about the videos he'd like to make in the future

"I actually liked doing research. I loved doing research, reading the books and articles and stuff like that. The part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. I wasn't trying to be malicious that was just laziness." james. that's not as great of an explanation as you might think. it just shows how blatantly you dont respect or care for other creators. you only did it because you believed you could get away with it, not just because you were lazy

he says the reason he's reactivating his patreon is because there were several people online theorizing that his plan was to relaunch in january to pull surprise billing and run with the money. so he said he's relaunching now to give people time to leave ("which i imagine will be the vast majority" can't pass up the opportunity to be self-deprecating)

he ends the video restating what he said earlier in the video

notably he's crying the whole time

one thing i'll say is that i didn't see anything that indicated he communicated with harris or kat or anyone. it sounded like he was coming up with that plan on the fly. i'm not surprised if he claimed it elsewhere or has failed to follow up on that promise, but it has only been 5 hours since release (at the time i'm typing this). so at least he's not making claims quite as bold as "i've been in communication with hbomberguy"

[ziggyzolch]

Queen Bee-atch Ⅴ (Regina George x Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of eating disorders (bulimia) but no explicit description of it.

✮✮✮

"No! Of course I'm not on board." Being zoned out for most of the week, you hadn't been listening to Janis' rambling, so you had no idea of her plan for Cady. Sighing, Janis sets her guitar to the side. "Dude, we've been talking about this plan for weeks, your opinion won't stop it." Damien chimes in from his place at your desk, "Yeah girl, Regina needs to be humbled. If anything, we're helping her." 

You invited your friends over the second you got home from Regina's, with the intention of having a jam sesh, until you heard Damien bring up the next step of their sabotage plan. You roll your eyes at Janis' nodding, getting up from the floor. "No, this is insane. Regina doesn't need to be 'humbled'." Cady peaks her head out of your bathroom, your mascara in her hand, "Yes she does! She was about to steal Aaron away from me."

Your eyes bulge out of your head, "Are you fucking serious? That's what this is about?" Janis rolls her eyes at you, "You know what this is about. She made our lives a living hell in freshman year!" You scoff, shaking your head and taking your guitar from her, "Wow, people think you're a pyromaniac. Boohoo." Janis stands up and pushes your shoulders, making you drop your guitar,

"Regina treated me like shit!"

You push her back, "Me too! You don't see me overreacting about it!"

"This," She shoves you, "Is not an overreaction. You didn't even know her! She was my best friend! Becoming an antisocial bulimic bitch is an overreaction." The silence that follows is deafening.

Tears well up in your eyes, "Fuck you, Janis. You're a hypocrite, you're all hypocrites!"

You point at Cady, "You're literally dressed like a plastic right now. Also, you ditched me when I was blackout drunk, for a boy that you barely just met!" Turning your gaze towards Damien and Janis, "You guys don't sit alone because everybody hates you. You hate everybody! You are no different from Regina, you just hide it better."

"You hate everyone too!" Janis retorts, while Damien and Cady look at each other awkwardly. "Maybe, but I don't seek petty revenge on everyone that's ever wronged me! You don't think I hate Regina for what she's done?" You sit down on the ground, calming down. "I do, but making her miserable won't make me any happier, and it won't make you happier either." Janis sighs, taking a seat next to you, Cady and Damien following. 

"Fine, we won't do it, but we can't take back what we've already done." Janis slaps Cady in warning. You raise an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?" Damien sighs, "We may have...been responsible for her recent weight gain and pimples." You groan, falling backwards and laying down on the floor, "You guys are horrible. At least you can start sitting with us again, Cady...Cady?" You all turn to her as she looks up from her phone, "I just need one more day."

✮✮✮

It's been a couple of minutes since English class started. You were assigned to finish up the book report, so it was basically a free period. Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you slam your laptop closed.

"Uh, what were you doing?" You turn towards Regina, noting that she's wearing sweatpants, "Watching porn..?" She takes her seat, raising an eyebrow at you. You stare at her while she slowly drags your laptop towards her, opening it and turning it on. 

Papa's pizzeria pops up on your screen. "In what world would watching porn be a better explanation than playing a game?" Regina looks at you in disbelief. "I panicked! I thought you were the teacher." She huffs out a laugh and pulls out her notebook while you take your laptop back. Regina turns to you, opens her mouth, then closes it and turns back to her notebook.

You ignore it, but after she does it for the fourth time you decide to ask,

 "Are you having a stroke-" 

She interrupts, "I'm sorry!" 

The class goes quiet, curious at what she could possibly be apologizing for. "Oh, uh. We don't have to talk about that." You scratch the back of your neck. She sighs and moves her chair to face you. "No, we do." You pinch the bridge of your nose before standing up and grabbing her arm, ignoring the teacher's objections and dragging her out of class. "Regina, we were young and stupid, it's fine." 

Her face contorts in anger, "It's not! I was horrible to you, more than I was to anyone else. You didn't deserve that," She looks you up and down, "I shouldn't have made you feel like you needed to change anything about yourself."

You were speechless, Janis would never believe this. "Thank you, really, but I'm just one person out of hundreds that you've been horrible to. Why are you so worried about my opinion specifically?" She sputters while you raise your eyebrows at her, waiting for a reply. She rolls her eyes and drags you to the janitor's closet. Her eyes dart around the room, looking at everything except you. "I like you." 

Your expression remains unchanged, "Uh okay, I like you too, you've been a good friend- Oh." Your eyes widen in realization. Regina panics at your silence and attempts to backtrack, "Oh, pfft, yeah that's what I meant! Friends, you're a good friend- mph!" You press your lips to hers, wrapping your arms around her neck. 

After the initial shock, Regina relaxes into the kiss and places her hands on your waist, pushing you against the wall. The bell stops Regina's wandering hands, and you push her away, catching your breath. "This talk isn't over, Blondie." Regina smiles at you, "Come over today, we can talk all night long, puppy." You blush at the nickname and innuendo, lightly shoving her when she laughs. "Stop! Look, Janice has an art competition tonight. Can you come with me? You're gonna have to apologize to her too." 

Regina shakes her head in disgust before you add, "I'll come over after and we can have that 'talk'-" 

"I'll come!" 

✮✮✮

Gretchen was pissed. Regina had blown her off for you, ditched her and Karen at a party for you, and walked out the janitor's closet with you! For her to have the audacity to try and sit at their table, in sweatpants, after all of that.

"Those rules are bullshit-"

Karen jumps in, "They weren't that day I wore a vest!"

"Yeah because that vest was hideous!"

"You can't sit with us!" The cafeteria goes quiet at Gretchen's screech. You, Janis, and Damien turn to face the commotion. "These are all that fit me right now," You can make out Regina admitting quietly. Gretchen turns to Cady, waiting for her decision. Your eyes bulge out of your head when you hear Cady's answer. Turning to Janis and Damien, you ask,

"Does she know the plan is off? Did she not hear anything we said?"

"She does! I don't know why she's acting like this." Janis replies,

Your jaw goes slack, "You literally made her like this."

"Look, maybe this is just a one time thing!"

The conversation is interrupted by Regina yelling, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Your heart breaks for her, you make a mental note to talk to Regina. Trying to defuse the awkwardness, Damien brings up Janis's art competition. "Look, Cady promised she'd be there. We can talk to her about this then!" You scoff, "Yeah, we'll see." 

✮✮✮

A/N: I couldn't fit the Christmas dance thing in so i worked around it. Also, I don't really know how to reply to them but I promise I check all the reblogs and comments and I appreciate them. Thank you for reading!

[honeybleed]

— ★ LOST IN TRANSLATION // TAKUMA INO

content & warnings: female reader, she/her pronouns, black-coded reader, smut (oral, f.receiving), fluff i never know what to tag shit😭 mdni

author’s note: bestie told the ino gworlies to get on their zoom so here i am WOOP also dis been driving me nuts

word count: 1.1k

"I wanna marry her, Nanami." He said, firmly.

Nanami’s eyebrows furrowed.

Why was his twenty one year old associate talking about marriage at this age?

"What...right now?" Nanami questioned, voice still retaining his typical sternness but completely caught off guard by his statement.

"Yeah...I just, she feels right."

"What made you come to that conclusion?" Nanami asked, taking a sip from the glass in front of him.

"I...remember we went out together and went on the ferris wheel. She’s just so-"

"That's nice and all, but i hope you realise how big of a step marriage is." Nanami chided. "Don’t you think to propose out of nowhere would freak her out?"

"I know! That’s why I came to you." He whined. "I don't wanna lose her but damn it what if this jujutsu crap kills me one day? I want her! She’s my other, half Nanami."

Nanami let out a whistle.

"You're in deep, aren't you? You want my advice so bad? Even if it doesn't align with what you want?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Don't."

"Huh-?"

"Maybe it's the old-fashioned side of me but don’t get married until you have a real home, a real job and you're not blinded by lust."

"...I can't."

Your chest was heaving, your toes were curled and your hands were firmly gripping the sheets.

"Sure you can." he said a little muffled against you.

"Quit back talking during sex." You huffed.

"M'sorry." He mumbled, then continued suckling at your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your back arched and you squinted your eyes shut, feeling your high approach you.

He went lower to lick stripes downwards which caused your thighs to uncontrollably quiver. alternating between sucking and kissing, he increased his speed which sent you hurtling towards your climax.

"You taste so good..." he murmured. "Could stay between your thighs forever."

You saw white spots in your vision and cried out something you instantly regretted as soon as your body went limp.

Ino slowly pulled away from wet, swollen and sticky entrance and met your eyes with a bewildered look.

His unkempt brown locks looked even more dishevelled than usual and his mouth was sheeny from your essence.

You hand flew to your mouth when you gained clarity.

"Did you just say that you love me...?" He questioned, pupils dilated.

Your mouth went dry.

It was heat of the moment. How could you love a man you'd been seeing for a few weeks? There was dozens of explanations swirling around your head.

You didn't want to drive him away.

"Mhm...I got too into it. I’m sorry-"

"Why are you apologising?"

"...Are you gonna leave me?"

"Why would i leave you?"

"Cos guys hate clingy girls."

"It’s just a lot." He said, a little lowly. "I’m gonna go shower."

You were absolutely mortified. Confessing during an orgasm then getting the most awkward response ever? You wanted the ground to swallow you up whole.

As Ino stood outside the high rise building, two thoughts crossed his mind. Firstly, why'd his girlfriend have to work at the most boujee place in town?

He could see you approaching from the glass doors in the lobby. God damn it, how did you look even more sexier at work?

White blouse and black mid skirt hugging your ass. He hoped you didn't have a male boss.

You had a concerned look on your face as your arms were folded. As soon as you arrived, you shut down his jovial greeting as you grabbed his arm and yanked him towards an inconspicuous corner.

"Ino, what the hell are you doing here?!" You hissed through gritted teeth. "I had to stop my bitch supervisor from getting the security guards to rough up a suspicious looking vagrant."

"What?! You heard that and thought it was me?!"

"No dummy, I looked out the window." You retorted.

He twisted his lips to the side.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me.." He said a little sheepishly.

"Under normal circumstances, yes. But a) I have not heard from you in days and b) you can't just turn up in the middle of my work shift dressed like, this." You stated as you gestured to his trainers, beanie and sweatpants.

"I'm sorry, k? I just got caught up with stuff." He mumbled, as he nervously rubbed the nape of his neck at your scolding.

"That’s not good enough of an excuse. The least you could've done was text me saying you're busy." You said, haughtily. You averted your gaze for your next sentence.

"I thought you ghosted me."

"What?! No! I-”

"Well, it sure felt like that! I’m sorry for saying that, I got a little caught in the moment but I don't deserve to be treated like that."

"Wait, Y/N. I acted lame because that was the first time a girl ever confessed that to me. n I suppose it was a little unconventional since it was when I was going down on you-"

"Keep your voice, DOWN." You hissed.

"There's nobody here!" He pouted. "But I’m sorry, you're right. I'll never do something stupid like that again. and... I love you too Y/N. So much."

Your jaw went slack as you were beyond caught off guard at his confession.

"Hell, I even went to Nanami and told him I wanted to marry you."

"W-what did he say?"

"I think he knew we both are bein' a little impulsive right now."

"It's been a few weeks so... I guess we're in over our heads with this. Let's give it more time for things and maybe then we can think about it."

"Be more honest with me, Kuma." You said, returning to the nickname you fondly gave him. "You don't need to go to Nanami for advice about me, you know."

"It wasn't about you, I have my old man but Nanami is a good male figure to me. He told me he'd only get married if he could provide for his woman so...when I make a lotta money! And have a big ass house, I want you to be my wife."

"If you want to!" He said hurriedly. "Of course, cos if you say no that's cool, well not cool but I’d understa-"

He was cut off when you leaned in to crush your lips against his. His body was rigid but he immediately relaxed and settled his hands on your waist.

You pulled away, lips barely inches apart.

"I’d love to." You whispered beaming.

author’s note: not tew fond on the ending ☠️ like i gotta remind myself this is FAN FICTION. but yes i live in a world where a man wanna marry yew if the coochie dat good LMFAOOOOO MI BODY RIGHT PUNANI TIGHT also kuma is cute since it means bear kay bye

[sanguineterrain]

hii i love your work and wanted to send a request in :)

can you do “you’re just going to leave me here?!” and “i’m gonna come back for you , do you hear me?” for jason and reader? 💛

maybe they’re on a date and there’s a robbery nearby or a villain crashes a gala they are attending? also maybe the reader knows he’s red hood? or it’s early in their relationship that he hasn’t told them yet? idk if that makes sense, but if you pick this up i can’t wait to see where you take it! 💛

OH IT'S EMOTIONAL ANGST TIME! hurt no comfort 😈 thanks for requesting nonnie 🥰

jason todd x gn!reader | tw: angst, reader feels hurt, lying to protect a superhero identity (is red hood a hero? he is to ME.) i may write a pt 2 to this if there's interest 😎

****

Jason checks his phone for the fourth time tonight. You haven't even received your entrees yet.

"Everything okay?" you ask lightly.

Jason looks up, eyes wide. "Oh. Yes. Sorry, baby. Sorry."

You nod, trying to smile. "It's okay."

He puts his phone in his pocket. You try to relax and focus on your date. This place is upscale, much pricier than you're used to, but Jason had insisted. He'd said he hadn't been doing his due diligence of being your boyfriend and should take you out on more "proper" dates. You'd told him that was silly, of course; you'd be content to go anywhere with him.

But he's been acutely distracted these past few weeks, and you're starting to form terrible explanations in your head for why that might be.

You try to ignore it. You just want to spend time with your boyfriend; it's been so long.

"Oh my God, guess what happened at work today," you say.

Jason leans in, smiling. "Tell me. Was it Peggy from Marketing again?"

"Yes!" You laugh, shaking your head. "She's such a pain. I was in my cubicle when—"

Jason's watch starts to blare, the beep shrill and insistent. He curses and quickly taps at the screen. You slump back in your chair.

"Shit," he says and looks up at you.

You suddenly feel exhausted.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," Jason begins, rising from his chair. "God, fuck—you have no idea how sorry I am. It's my family, they—something's happened with my brother. He needs my help, unfortunately."

"So you're just going to leave me here?" you ask, mouth dropping open in shock. "Jay, we planned tonight two weeks ago!"

He winces. "I know. Fuck, I know, sweetheart. I'm so, so sorry. I'm gonna come back for you, okay? It'll be an hour, tops. Look, order anything you want. I'll leave my card, it's on me—"

You shake your head and stand. "No, Jason. I'm—look, I know your family is important to you, but you've done this a lot this past month, and it's not just hurtful, but it's starting to feel a little intentional. I don't know if I'm some kind of placeholder or, or—"

"Hey, no, no. You're not a placeholder. Please don't say that," Jason begs, reaching for your hand.

You keep your hand out of reach, eyes beginning to heat up.

"I'm going home," you say. "I hope your brother's okay."

"Sweetheart, please, come on. I don't wanna fight."

"Me neither," you say tiredly. "So we won't. Good night, Jason."

His watch beeps again, this time with a phone call. You walk out. It's a nicer part of Gotham, so getting a cab here isn't a problem.

Jason catches up to you instantly. He looks terrified, and it breaks your heart, but you don't have the energy tonight.

"Can I–can I call you tonight?" he asks, voice cracking.

A cab pulls up to the curb. The valet opens the door for you. Jason takes a step forward.

"I'd rather you didn't," you say quietly. "I need some time to myself, Jay."

Jason takes a step back.

"I'm sorry," he says again, desperate.

You sigh. "I know you are."

You get into the car. The valet closes the door. Jason watches you through the window, tugging at his curls like he does when he's stressed.

That night, your bed feels cold. You toss and turn for hours, trying to shake the feeling of a phantom arm snaked around your waist.

Jason doesn't call, like you'd requested. You cry anyway.

[satoruhour]

Hiii!!! I absolutely LOVE your jjk racer au's and am dying for more!!! Could you do one of megumi this time? It can be how they meet or anything really<3 absolutely love all your works and hope your having a great day!!

a/n: hi baby yess thank you for the support <3 i know you’ve been liking my stuff pretty often but im so sorry to have taken so long to get to this! i hope you like it 🥹 / part of the racer!jjk au universe, megs and reader both in uni / 0.9k

[9:02pm, megs 🖤🏁]: hi angel. also you still studying?

there’s a text that comes in from megumi one school night, but you don’t see its contents when your head stays in your hands from the sheer stress of trying to cramp everything before an important exam tomorrow. nothing’s going in, however, from how distracted you seem to be with what questions would appear, whether you’d have enough time, if—

[9:05pm, megs 🖤🏁]: hey, look out your window

your confusion immediately melts away when you hear the rev of an engine along the barren road of the street you stay on, and your breath releases upon seeing the familiar head of black-hair peeking out from the window, a small smile etched onto his face. with a beckoning hand from you, his head tilts and you know what he’s asking. parents not home?

you shake your head, making out an eating gesture, went out for dinner.

it was unfortunate, how they saw megumi as just another bad influence, especially from how racing was still fairly taboo in japan. ‘give it a hundred years and they’ll still be bad for you, the culture, the pollution.’ you can’t bother to hear the rest of your parents’ explanation when you tell them you’ve started dating fushiguro megumi, but thankfully they’re too busy to care about whether your life goes to shit or not.

but you’re lucky megumi treats you like the moon treats the sun: taking the backseat while you rant about that annoying professor. he treats you like painters do to their muse: gentle, delicate, a million memories of your anatomy burned into his brain from how long he’s stared at you.

in a minute, he’s knocking on your front door and you’re there in half, smiling wide to welcome him, albeit with a tension in the corners of your lips. 

“let’s go drift, c’mon.”

you frown, not letting the calming brush of this thumb against the back of your hand change your mind, “i can’t, megs. got studyin’ to do.”

megumi has gotten bolder the more he’s been with you, although still with shaky hands and a speeding heart. he brushes the hair out of your face, knitted eyebrows and red eyes seemingly permanently there from how much you’ve looked at your notes.

“do you actually remember anything you’ve studied, my love?” he’s the one to frown now, fingers gliding down to your cheeks and jaw. it’s comfortable there from how you lean into his touch, and you want to stay there forever, but you only sigh, head falling forward to collide with his chest while his lips make contact with your hair — when you shake your head, you can only feel the smile growing on the other’s face.

“go put my jacket on,” megumi pecks your head and you roll your eyes beneath him because he’s always right and you hate it sometimes, but that reality check is good when you can’t shove the logarithm equations into your brain and your boyfriend is a racer, “let’s go for a drive, hm?” clad in the denim jacket you kept with you on your last visit, megumi’s cold hands hold yours as he drags you to his car, a 2001 Nissan Silvia S15 with some dark blue finishing.

within minutes, you’re already putting exams and notes and studying behind you, laughing in the passenger seat with megumi smiling too, easily driving to the mountain he’s always trained at. with a nod toward you, his eyes just look for yours, a mix of question and ardour that always seem to get the message across. ready?

the drift up the mountain is filled with secret glances and hurting cheeks and the screeching tires of his Nissan, experienced enough to look away from the road to return those glances to you every time he makes a turn and you’re looking like everything right in this moment. megumi can only hope it’s the same for you.

at the mountain’s peak, megumi can hardly hold himself back when you’re staring across the cityscape against his car, eyes sparkling from the moonlight and the blue finishing of the car reflecting against your jaw from below — he feels his breath be fully taken away just like the first time his father had taken him drifting, but it doesn’t (never) compares to whenever he looks at you.

with a hand pulling you away from the vast scenery, megumi fully believes his heart stops when your eyes are torn away from the city lights, focusing only on the other. there’s a soft smile on your face and he leans in, palms clammy and his heart going faster than his Nissan in a race — his lips finally meet yours before you arms wrap around the racer, humming into the kiss. megumi props you on the hood on his car easily, standing between your legs as oxygen begins to become scarce.

“you know we could’ve just kissed at my house, y’know?”

the tips of megumi’s ears redden and you laugh, playing with the neckline hem of his t-shirt, “yeah. well— i couldn’t have one night out with my girl?” 

it’s said so grumpily and quietly that you almost don’t catch it, but the tranquillity of the mountains provides you with uninterrupted silence, save for the chatter of the cicadas and the occasional call of the night birds. the little statement makes you only grin bigger as you prop your feet onto the front bumper, pulling him in by the belt loops.

megumi thinks you’ve only gotten more attractive by doing that, you shiver when his hands go back to your face — the both of you so oblivious to each other's desire for the other.

“yes we can, especially when i want to spend more time with my racer boyfriend, too.”

[ms-demeanor]

hello! sorry to bother w this but im sort of desperate at this point. given your post about school abuse: so like. i had a similar experience and i thought that i had sorted my brain out. BUT. big but. now im trans and every time i have to correct people w/ misgender or come out to people that i dont already know their opinion on the issue, i get an anxiety attack that makes me unable to do it. ive told many therapists and no one so far has understood why im terrified of making stuff that other people can perceive as me being difficult to work with. would you have *any* advice? thanks!

Okay so first of all it is totally valid to feel that way; that isn't an irrational response, that is your body and brain going "!!!! I have learned this lesson before!" But just because it's a sensible response doesn't mean it's functional in the long term, which is why it needs to be addressed (which I'm sure you already know, I'm just explaining for people in the back).

So now here is some meandering advice:

Spend time with people you already know you can trust. It's okay to take a break from new people and situations (as much as is possible) when you are processing traumatic events and learning to care for yourself. Spending time with people who you don't have to come out to, who don't misgender you, can help you normalize being out and correctly gendered to yourself.

Recognize that you don't have to be out to everyone and some assholes aren't worth it. This is going to depend some on the context, but you don't owe everybody an explanation for yourself and if people repeatedly misgender you after being corrected you may just be better off not spending time around those people.

Loop in trusted people in low-stakes ways. If you get the sense that someone who you think is pretty safe has misgendered you on accident, it might still feel too intimidating to correct them in person but it might be a good idea to follow up with text or a call or a message to say "hey, just FYI, I think I heard you use a/b pronouns for me earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I use c/d pronouns. Did you want to meet up again next week?" the breakdown on why I think this is effective is - Distance means you're safe - nonthreatening "FYI" means you aren't saying "I'm offended" and assumes good faith from the other person - feels less accusatory (not that you need to tone police yourself, but if you're trying to lower the stress level overall then assuming it was a mistake and letting them know you don't think it was on purpose should reduce the overall tension) - request to meet up again or topic switch to something lighter once again says "I'm not mad, that was just regular information, we can now return to our scheduled programming"

I think that, generally speaking, this is also a decent way to come out to people if you're nervous; physically remote and emotionally casual can be a good place to work from (even if you're actually panicking in your head but you can pull off casual in a written message)

Find (or create) a space where people are 100% going to support you. If you need to create a discord server, if you need to schedule a regular coffee date with trusted friends or family members, whatever it is, give yourself a space where you are unconditionally supported and can have people to bounce ideas and concerns off of. Even if it's just you and one other person, it's good to know you have *someone* who you can say "I think I want to tell this other person to use my pronouns but it's scary" to and know that you're not at risk in any way. I'd say try to make sure that you're still interacting with people outside of that space, but have a space to retreat to where you can just drop the worry.

Recognize that somebody else's problem is not a reflection of you. If you have, for instance, a coworker who is being a piece of shit and refusing to recognize your gender, that is not a reflection of your gender that is a reflection of them being a piece of shit. If there is a classmate or a sibling who uses the wrong pronouns after being corrected that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your pronouns that means they are being a piece of shit. Some people are just not going to accept you and that's on them. Try to minimize your time spent with them and if you have to spend time with them at work take steps to ensure your safety, but don't fight losing battles with assholes.

It really is legitimately scary. You have good reasons to be scared and you are doing a very frightening thing (and not to do the meme thing but you are legitimately being so brave about it; the fact that you are reaching out and asking anyone for help, including randos on the internet, means that you are taking steps to doing the scary thing and that is SO GOOD and I'm really proud of you for making the effort in spite of the fear).

Here is some less meandering advice:

Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror, practice with friends, practice with your therapist. Practice coming out to yourself in a casual way. Practice correcting your pronouns. Practice an introduction for yourself that explains the information you want to give to new people you might meet. Get it down to a quick little patter, get it to be something that's easy to say to yourself in the mirror first, then try it with friends for practice, then try it around the safer people you might want to give the information to. It'll get easier as you go.

Look for a local support group (or an online support group). If there's a local LGBTQ+ center you should see if they've got events going on or a support group you can join or workshops or any manner of social thing where you can go interact with people who have been through similar stuff.

Journal. Each time you find yourself frightened of talking to someone about your gender, do what you need to to get through the day and then sit down and think about that interaction. Write down what happened, write down what you were thinking. Was there something in particular that made you anxious? Is it something you can practice addressing? Was there something you noticed about the person that made you uncomfortable? Is that a common thread in the times you have trouble talking about this? If you're able to narrow down specifically what is making it hard to speak to some people that might make it easier to explain to therapists but will also make it more actionable for you.

Here's some very optimistic advice:

If at all possible find a friend who will be rabid and unflinching in their support for you and hang out with them around new people. Get yourself an attack dog copilot who will cheerfully step up and make corrections for you. I know not everyone can do this and I know that if you can find someone like this they can't be around all the time, but it can be wonderfully reassuring to find that one person who you know is going to be ride or die about making sure that everyone in the room respects you. (Being that person for someone else can also teach you how to be that person for you)

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 3

Holy hell, guys. Seriously, I love you all. And just seeing the sheer amount of LOVE this story is getting makes me so happy.

Tag list of 50 has now been filled. Any other requests for tagging will be denied. I’m sorry.

Edit: Also if you saw the title as something else? No, no you didn’t. And any reblogs you see with anyone instead of anybody are a figment of your imagination. (*thuds head on laptop* I have the title right on here...in my file *wails*)

Part 1 Part 2

*

Eddie was wrong. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, he was wrong and that was uncomfortable. On the other it meant that whatever was going on with Steve he didn’t care about his reputation anymore and that was always a good thing.

He had walked out of the school doors to the parking lot after school to see a Steve Harrington leaning against his van, just like yesterday.

“Harrington,” Eddie said, “this is a surprise.”

Steve ducked his head. “If you don’t want me to be here, I can leave.”

Eddie held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa there. I didn’t say that. I’m just surprised you took me up on the offer is all. Last time I checked your lot doesn’t throw in with mine.”

Steve’s shoulders sagged. “It does now. Now that I don’t have anyone else.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he cocked his head. “I thought you and Nancy Wheeler were hot and heavy.”

The very idea of the two of them made him gag. Hetros. Freaking insane, man.

“We broke up on Halloween,” Steve murmured.

Eddie blinked. He had been at that party. To sell, of course, he hadn’t been invited. Had even seen Wheeler storm off, but he really hadn’t thought much about it.

“What bridges haven’t you burned?” he asked in all seriousness.

“My kids,” Steve said. “I’d do anything for them.”

“Okay, that’s going to have to take some explanation,” Eddie said, shoving his hands in his back pockets.

Steve looked around the van and gulped. “Can we take this somewhere else?”

Eddie looked over and saw Nancy and some other guy being all cutesy. “Yeah. Come on, hop in. I’ll bring back later to pick up your car when the lot’s no longer crawling with people who want to do you in.”

Steve sighed in relief, his body fulling relaxing for the first time since Eddie started this journey. He moved around to the other side of the van and got in once Eddie unlocked the door.

“Where to, my liege?” Eddie asked with a grin.

“Is the quarry okay?” Steve asked shyly.

Eddie’s grin softened to a smile. “Sure thing, pretty boy.” He started the van and pulled out on to the open road, leaving behind the messy turmoil that was high school.

They made it out to quarry and Eddie climbed up on the top of his van. Steve looked up at him in amazement.

“Uh, how am I supposed to get up there?” Steve asked.

Eddie leaned over the side and held out his hand. “Grab hold.”

Steve looked at it a moment and then back up at Eddie. He looked into those doe brown eyes and sighed. He planted one foot against the side of the van and then took Eddie’s hand.

And was promptly vaulted to the top of the van.

“Holy shit!” Steve said once he was settled next to Eddie. “You’re strong.”

Eddie laughed. “It comes from all the lugging equipment around for my band. And helping out with stage crew.”

“Wow, you have a band?” Steve asked.

Eddie nodded. “Corroded Coffin. It’s a metal band, we play at the Hideout every week.”

Steve bit his lip. “I don’t know much about metal. I tend to go for alt rock bands like Oingo Boingo, Depeche Mode, REM, Tears for Fears...I bet that was a load of gibberish for you.”

Eddie shook his head. “I’m familiar with a couple of them,” he admitted. “Not my thing. But I would have pegged you for a pop vibe.”

Steve scoffed. “I have some taste, man.”

Eddie laughed. “I’d beg to differ, but sure. You do you, dude.”

Steve bumped Eddie’s shoulder. “Go on, then. Impress me with your metal bands, since mine are such shit.”

“My favorite is Metalica,” Eddie said, bumping Steve back. “But I like Mercyful Fate, Dio, Poison.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “And I thought my bands had weird names.”

“What the hell is a Depeche Mode anyway?” Eddie fired back.

“What is a Metalica?” Steve replied.

Eddie opened his mouth, but no sound came out. “All right, you got me there.”

“I was talking to Mrs Hall today about my schedule,” Steve said, drawing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. “I have to drop basketball and baseball. It’s too late to drop swimming, but I talked to Coach Burton and he said I should be cleared for competition I just have to see the swimming board’s doctor for final confirmation.”

“So suddenly you have two classes opened up?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, my last two,” Steve mumbled into his knees. He lifted his head with a sigh. “She won’t let me just drop them and not pick up new classes even though the semester half way through.”

“So you thought about what to fill those slots with?”

“She gave me a list of options,” Steve grumbled and dug the paper out of his pocket. He handed it to Eddie.

Eddie looked over the options. “Debate, would double as extra English credit...” he mumbled reading what Mrs Hall had wrote. “Can’t see you doing that one, if I’m honest.”

Steve shook his head. “Me either. I know it’s not just arguing. But I know they can get heated. I don’t need complete strangers yelling at me when I get that enough at home.”

Eddie nodded. “Choir. Can you sing?”

Steve blushed. “Yeah, actually. But I’ve never wanted to join the choir.”

Eddie frowned. “Why not?”

Steve cleared his throat and looked away. “My vocal coach said that I don’t blend well and am very loud.”

Eddie bumped into Steve’s shoulder. “Soloist only, then?”

Steve nodded.

“Sounds like you’d be great at metal singing,” he continued. “Very loud and very in your face.”

Steve laughed. “Whatever you say, man. But no, choir is out.”

Eddie looked back at the list. “Machine work?”

Steve shook his head. “My dad would kill me.”

“Too blue collar for your dad?” he asked. Steve nodded. “I gotcha.”

“Stage crew,” Eddie continued.

Steve sighed. “I thought about that one, but like with the machine work it’s too ‘blue collar’ for my dad. Plus with my concussion, I’m pretty sure either option would be out.”

Eddie cocked his head and clicked his tongue. “Fair enough.” He looked over the list. “Pottery?”

Steve laughed. “Sure, why not? That’s one.”

Eddie nodded. He mentally crossed out all the classes that were seventh period, focusing only on the class that were eighth.

“Hmm...” he murmured pursing his lips. “Looks like what you’ve got left is geology and drama.”

Steve reared his head back. “What the hell is geology?”

Eddie shook his head. “I have no idea, but it’s obviously a science-y thing.”

Steve let out a bitter laugh. “I guess it’s pottery and drama.” He buried his face in his knees again. “I know my reputation is already in tatters but fuck those kids in those classes are going to tear me to pieces.”

Eddie blinked. The mystery that was Steve Harrington was like following a rabbit down a hole, and coming up to Wonderland. “You’re more concerned that they’re going to make fun of you then you are of your old friends making fun of you?”

Steve lifted his head. “Well sure. I know Tommy and them are going to make fun of me even if I stayed on both teams. That’s a given. They’ve got King Billy to follow now and they’re gonna get vicious with it. But no, the real problem comes from the art geeks coming for me because I have invaded their space.”

Eddie almost brought up the drawing class Steve was already in, but wisely kept his mouth shut. He shrugged. “So tell them truth. Tell them you had course correct because of a concussion. Be honest and defer to them in all things.”

“I’m also going to be the only senior in those classes, man,” Steve groused.

Eddie cocked his head. “Yeah, probably. But what else have you got?”

Steve’s shoulders slumped. “Nothing.”

They lapsed into silence. Just sitting there for awhile looking out over the quarry.

After some time, Eddie bumped Steve’s shoulder again. “So you want to tell me about ‘your kids’?”

Steve frowned.

“Burned bridges, people who haven’t given up on Steve Harrington?” Eddie prompted.

Steve lit up. “Oh yeah. Sorry, man, it’s just the...” he pointed to his face. Eddie nodded. “I still don’t know how I got roped into dealing with these assholes, but yeah. There are six of them now. Started with Dustin Henderson. Smart kid, smarter than most adults I know. Then it expanded to his friends, which includes the little brothers of my ex and her new boyfriend, Jonathan Byers, and of course Lucas Sinclair. And then I picked up El or Jane. I’m not sure which one she prefers, most people call her El though. And then there’s Max.”

“Five boys and a girl?” Eddie asked, his face twisting awkwardly. “Congrats?”

Steve laughed. “Max is short for Maxine. But don’t you dare call her that.”

Eddie blinked. “Max Mayfield? As in Billy Hargrove’s step-sister?”

Steve tilted his head back. “Yeah...but I don’t think I could separate her from the group now if I tried. And besides, she’d kick my ass.”

“You are an enigma wrapped in a mystery, man,” Eddie said.

Steve looked over at him. “You don’t know the half of it.”

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

Tag List: @evix-syne666 @renaissan-vvitch @deadlydodos @scarletzgo @messrs-weasley @kodaik97 @thedragonsaunt @butterflysandpeppermint @gregre369 @nelotegreitic @sundead @artiststarme @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @thing-a-ling @anaibis @garden-of-gay @matchingbatbites @spectrum-spectre @winterbuckwild @steve-the-hairrington @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @babyblender @cursedfoxteeth @novelnovella @throwbackthrowaway @strangersteddierthings @shrimply-a-menace @emly03

[majimasleftasscheek]

alright since RGG seems bent on putting merch behind things like UFO catcher shit, here's my crappy how to use a proxy guide lol

gonna be using buyee as an example but most proxies are more or less the same so it's your choice on what to use. I look at fee prices and customer service reviews to decide on my proxies. sorry if it's wordy! but I think I cover the most important bits for general use.

so on the landing page you got all the goobly gook but what you'll mainly be looking at is the stuff in the red box. all the shops are listed there - the ones I mainly use are yahoo! japan auctions and mercari. the other shops are more like regular shopping sites. pretty much all proxies use the same sites as they're just a directory for wherever you wanna shop.

auctions are self explanatory - you bid on things till the time runs out or some auctions offer an immediate buyout price.

mercari is largely a secondhand seller marketplace but you can find companies on there as well.

when I search for stuff, I prefer putting in the actual terms for better accuracy over auto translating. so here I put in ryu ga gotoku (龍が如く). on buyee, I have rgg and dead souls as saved searches so I can just click on them to easily autofill the search bar which is handy.

items will populate and you'll see prices in yen and for me, usd. these are the *listing prices, not the *final price. since I'm using a proxy, there will be additional fees per item I get. also, the currency exchange rate occasionally changes so if something goes up or down in price, that be why.

💥 pls also note prohibited items that proxies cannot ship internationally such as items with flammable fluid which can include perfumes, lighters, etc. other things like alcohol, which may be okay for like 99% of countries is not okay, for example, in the US lol unless you go thru customs paperwork n shit. *ebay is usually where you want to go for prohibited items as those sellers *will go thru the process of filing the proper forms to send such items.

💥 pls be aware of scalpers! I tend to browse multiple pages and multiple listings of the same item to see what the prices typically fall around. if it looks too cheap, be aware of an item's description. if it looks too expensive, it probably is.

let's use this bad boy as an example. the main things you wanna look at on any item is the condition and the photos to be *sure* you are happy with what you're getting. if you see the same photos across listings, be a lil wary. you can see estimated shipping times and the seller's general ratings. always read item explanations if there is one in case the seller makes any notes of defects or other things.

you can add to shopping cart to keep browsing or you can go to the order page to immediately purchase.

so proxies typically have different plans you can choose when you buy items and that adds towards the fees. these can include inspections, insurance, etc of items when they arrive at the proxy warehouse (see your proxy's FAQ for plan descriptions). it's up to you what you deem worth choosing, if at all. for most things, I just go with whatever costs me 0 lol - especially if it's a cheaper item that I really don't feel needs to be inspected or insured, like a plushie or keychain. regardless of plan, you'll have to pay some proxy service fee (here the "buyee service fee"). in the top right, you'll see the total cost of everything. once you're happy, then you pick your form of payment. I usually go with paypal.

you can go to your page and see typical stuff like orders, settings, and the like. there's often specific tabs for certain sites like auctions so you can go there for anything you purchase in that way. the cart is anything you've added but haven't bought.

the orders tab is for anything bought and you may see the status of its shipping to the proxy warehouse which I'll get to in the next bit.

package information is everything that has arrived to the warehouse so here you can see I have 12 items currently waiting to be shipped to me.

user information, pretty basic but do MAKE SURE your addresses and things are 100% correct. it would really suck nuts if you pay out the ass for international shipping and it gets sent to the wrong place.

on the orders tab, you can see the status of the item. it contains important bits like date ordered and order # (I've blotted out mine). order received is *you* paying for the order. order completed is *buyee* paying for the order. shipped means the seller has shipped to buyee's warehouse address and arrived at warehouse is self explanatory.

*sometimes, a seller may cancel an order after you've paid for it and you will be refunded. this is often due to the seller unable to actually send the item for whatever reason or they don't sell to proxies. nothing you can really do about it but I've only had it happen a couple of times in dozens of purchases.

back to the package information tab, here you can see all the packages that have arrived at the warehouse waiting for shipment. proxies will store packages for free for a certain number of days - buyee being 30 while I've seen other go to 45 days, etc. after that time is up, you will be charged for storage per day so be aware of that!

here you can consolidate packages which means putting everything into one shipment instead of going individually. you can see estimated costs of shipping per item which, if you did each item individually, that would be mad expensive. when you consolidate, things can still be pretty pricey but imo better to pay idk 150 bucks in shipping for 10 items instead of 300 bucks for all 10 individually.

💥 shipping is calculated by weight so be aware of that when you buy items - however baseline costs will be the same for lighter items regardless of how much they weigh. baseline costs for me is around 15-30 bucks regardless of what I get. for example, I have a teeny tiny keychain in storage and several figures. the shipping for that keychain is the same cost as the figures so it's only sensible to lump them into one package cuz I ain't paying out the ass to ship 1 keychain lol.

you are free to consolidate what you want and how. if you wanna consolidate some packages to ship now and you wanna do others later, you are free to. just keep in mind your budget and storage time!

proxies also offer services to protectively wrap your packages. if you're concerned about damage, then choose that option when you consolidate. I don't often do it unless what I'm buying can break otherwise all my packages have arrived relatively unharmed.

💥 proxies will consolidate things AS IS so if you have a buncha figures that don't have their boxes, the proxy will put them in a shipping box just as they are, however they received them from the seller. so if the seller only bubble wrapped the figure, it will be sent to you just like that, no additional protection unless you pay for that option.

*consolidation can take some days and you'll be informed when items are ready to ship. at that point, you pay the shipping and that's it! you can choose what type of shipping you wanna go with (such as DHL, EMS, sea mail (if it's available), etc at differing prices and arrival times. pick what's best for you. *note, sea mail is often the cheapest but the slowest (like several months arrival time) and not available to every country (plus you'd want protective packaging for this just in case cuz boat rides be bumpy)

here are some examples of shipping costs for a single one of my items. some of these options will disappear when I consolidate cuz shipping a lil figure is very different from shipping a larger box full of multiple things.

💥 be sure to read EVERYTHING and make sure you know what options you're choosing to make sure it fits your budget and expectations of arrival time.

one more thing proxies can do is order from a number of sites that aren't on the main page. for buyee, you want to go to the other sites information tab and then click "purchase request for other sites."

here you can input the information of whatever site you want to see if the proxy can purchase it for you. this is how I buy things on ebten like the jpn only preorders. if the proxy cannot buy the requested item, they'll let you know.

if they can go thru with the order, they will confirm your payment and it goes thru the same process as any other order.

[leewonkyeom]

027: entering private property in 3... 2... 1

light a flame [27/51]

☆ summary: when your roommate quits his job at the coffee shop you frequent you never imagined the new guy would be hot or even your type. to make matters worse you both study law at the same university.

your friends to try to convince you to get together with him. you try to convince them you just find him really nice... but are you able to convince yourself?

previous | masterlist | next

continues below the cut

y/n, mingyu

yn: hi, mingyu. what's up?

mg: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "what's up?

yn: you called me, didn't you?

mg: oh. that's right. so you really don't know?

yn: know what?

mg: what's "hbg"s real name?

yn: oh come on. i've probably told you a million times

mg: you have not

yn: sure, i have?

mg: is it wonwoo or jihoon?

yn: who's jihoon?

mg: his roommate

yn: is he?

mg: ask him

yn: yeah, sure. i'll just waltz into his bathroom while he's showering to ask him... wait. he's done. wait two seconds

mg: okay?

[...]

yn: how did you know what his roommate's name is? that is super creepy

mg: because... he's also MY roommate

yn: you're fucking with me

mg: i'm not. that's why i called. i recognized my own living room

yn: wait. aren't you at seokmin's?

mg: yes. why?

yn: SOONYOUNG IS FEEDING YOU INFORMATION TO FUCK WITH ME

mg: what?

yn: it's the only logical explanation. we would have known if you knew wonwoo

mg: only we did not. he's my best friend. yn i'm serious

yn: *laughter* no way... i'm texting seokmin

mg: go ahead

yn: i still don't believe you

mg: go check my room

yn: i can't go into a strangers room!

mg: it's not. it's mine

yn: if you describe this place with enough detail, i'll do it

mg: if you go into the hallway, the one with the bathroom at the end of it... it's the only hallway really. it's the second door on the left

yn: you're not mixing up your lefts and rights?

mg: i'm sure

yn: okay. entering private property in 3... 2... 1 *click*

mg: you see?

[...]

yn: aww, you have a picture of you, me and seokmin on your desk!

mg: shit... i forgot about that

yn: no, it's cute. don't worry about it. i'm sorry i didn't believe you, mingyu, but are you really that unobservant?

mg: apparently. no wonder seungkwan knew...

yn: what?

mg: oh nothing. by the way, if you need somewhere to sleep tonight, you can borrow my room

yn: thank you! i'll change the sheets and leave your stuff alone, so don't worry

mg: i wasn't worried before now...

yn: SHIT!

mg: what's happening?

yn: wonwoo's wondering where i am. i have to explain this to him... love you. bye!!

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☆ a/n: okay so👀👀 hope y'all were happy you werw right😌😌 also, mingyu needs some time to process, so stay tuned for thursday👀 as always, i hope you enjoyed this part, and i always appreciate likes, comments and reblogs!♡

fill out this form to be added to the taglist!

[rrenzwrld]

sound of my heart III

third part! read second part here

i do kinda liked how it turned out but the ending is free to kinda let you think about how you’d wanna go forward. would you let ony prove his words to you? or would you go ahead and let him go to move onto someone more appreciative? but anyways…enjoy!

[ ony!❤️ ]: hey

once you got a chance to look at your phone, you instantly regretted it when you saw a text from ony. deja and taylor could see your shift in energy and leaned over to see what was causing it.

deja rolled her eyes. “girl, ignore it.” that was easier said that done. you knew you were supposed to ignore his message just like he ignored you, but you also wanted to respond in hopes that he’d explain himself.

“you know she’s not gonna do that…” taylor said.

“maybe i should just see what he has to say.” you opened the message but just began staring at it. deja smiled slyly at you.

“can i do i—“

“no.” you snapped. you sat there and thought about what to say until you realized that you’d rather get an explanation from him vocally instead of through text. “should i facetime or call him?” you turned to deja and taylor.

“call him. so he won’t know we’re here.” you nodded before texting him and telling him to call you. deja turned down the music playing in the car as the phone rang throughout.

“yo.” deja rolled her eyes and fake gagged.

“yeah. why you text me?” you weren’t gonna waste anymore time.

“i missed you.”

“i couldn’t tell. you haven’t texted me in weeks, ony.”

“i know, i’m sorry. i just…i don’t know.”

“you still never told me who she was.” deja and taylor were silently exciting themselves in the background, proud of you for standing your ground.

“i thought you forgot about that—“

“oh so there was another bitch?”

“just somebody who bought from connie but he told me to give the shit to her because he had something to do so i did.”

“so why did you smell like her that day? and why couldn’t you be honest back then?”

“she was hugging all up on me but i had to push her off cause she was doin too much. and i never told you that because i knew you’d be on some shit.”

“on some shit because i don’t want my man to smell like other girls? i loved you ony and the last thing i would’ve wanted was to think you’d cheat on me! why’d you let me go on thinking that—“

“i’m sorry, y/n.”

“and then you go weeks without talking to me, having me think i did something wrong and making excuses for you.”

“y/n—“

“you’ve never listened to me before so i don’t even know why i wasted my time that day. i should’ve just let you think you can go and do whatever like you used to doing.” you were getting mad now if you weren’t already and could feel your throat knotting up.

“i love you, y/n. y’know that?”

“do i? because i thought love was reassuring and you haven’t given that to me.”

“i can’t read your fuckin mind. if you don’t tell me—“

“i shouldn’t have to tell you anything! i don’t ask you for shit, ony. nothing but to know and be shown that you love me and what do i get? ignored for weeks? got me overthinking and shit.”

“i’m sorry.”

“is that all you have to say?”

“i never meant to hurt you, truthfully.”

“so why did you?”

“i should’ve paid attention to you and what you needed from me more, and i’m sorry for that. i was negligent and i really wanna promise you that it’ll never happen again.” ony’s words were luring you in but you weren’t sure if you should’ve surrendered.

“thank you.”

“we good?” you didn’t know that yet.

“i don’t know…”

“i understand completely…i do wanna see you though.”

“too bad, bye ony.” and with that, you hung up. not even anticipating what he was gonna say next. you were no longer gonna let him think he can say what he should do without actually taking initiative to carry out those actions. hearing him say it was nice but you had to see it to believe it.

“sooo you not gonna ask him about him being on that bitch’s phone in chipotle?” deja questioned.

you shrugged. “nope.”

[oldshrewsburyian]

Any thoughts on *why* so many people are subliterate now? Is the educational system really that much worse than it was even 15-20 years ago? Or is the tsunami of information we all live with too much to deal with? Or is there something else going on?

...I do have Thoughts on this, actually! Quite a few of them! And I suspect that the answer to your slate of options might be: D, all of the above. I will address your points out of order (sorry.)

B: As for the information tsunami/superhighway, I don't think it's to blame in itself. As the president of an academic organization said at the biennial conference in 2016, "Nous lisons de plus en plus, mais nous lisons autrement" (we read more and more, but we read differently.) It says something about what he meant and about that particular historical moment that I was live-tweeting. And obviously I'm not saying that reading the internet is bad (I read the internet all the time.) But I do think that it facilitates habits of minimal, shallow, or superficial reading, and I do think that's a problem. I once had a student say--in class!--that the historical essays I assigned were challenging for him because he's more used to reading tweets. I stared at him for several long seconds before saying "Then this is good practice for you." I also had a very sweet student in a first-year college seminar who just had no clue how sentence mechanics worked, so I had to find a gentle way of asking, in office hours, "Do you... read at all? for fun?" "Oh, I read all the time," said this sweet student confidently, and my own reading habits enabled me to counter: "Fanfic or published works?" And yep, that's your problem right there. Obviously I read and write fanfic myself. But reading principally fanfic is a great way not to learn how grammar works.

A: in the US? ...yeah, it kind of is, actually, which is horrifying. Like a lot of the rest of my demographic (educator, xennial, NPR devotee,) I listened to the APM podcast Sold A Story. In going to find you the link, I found bonus episodes which I also highly recommend, in part because they include criticisms of the podcast and notes on policy. But what this podcast describes also tracks with my experiences in two very grim years when I tutored reading at the elementary/middle school level, and also found reading comprehension to be a weak link in ACT/SAT prep.

C: this brings us to "something else going on?" And I don't know what that is. But even my college students who can read at a basic 6th-grade level (sob) seem to have really stunted capabilities for inference. I ask them to make inferences and they look at me with the heartbreaking expressions of confused dogs. Or they'll see something blindingly obvious and say things like "Could this... possibly be...?" and I say brightly: "Yes! that's absolutely what it is! good job!" instead of saying: "What the **** else would it be?" Sometimes an entire class of students will read something without comprehension and subsequently thank me for "explaining" a text when all I have done is paraphrase it. And we're not talking academic articles here; we're talking 2-4 page excerpts of primary sources selected with TLC for a target audience of beginning college students. So far I have not snapped and screamed, "I didn't explain shit!" But I do find myself having to, well, explain that explanation would mean digging deeper into the text. I also find myself puzzled and alarmed by the fact that they don't seem able to identify or describe what they find challenging. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard "Just the entire thing was confusing"...! I've modified entire courses to try to get students more of the reading practice and additional skills they need. I'm not sure how much it's helping.

I really wish I had more answers. What I do have is a lot of despair.

[katyawriteswhump]

Freestyle love (Steddie holiday drabble)

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 22 prompt, Sports AU.

Nobody ever wanted Eddie Munson on their swim squad, and uni competition was no different. Until Steve Harrington decided to play by the rules.

WC: 966. Rating: T.

CW: none really. Tags: Enemies to lovers, whump, university/college AU.

***

"Munson's freestyle times smash half the teams.'" Steve pushed his wet hair from his eyes, double-checked the stopwatch. “He’s in."

"That science geek pond-scum?” asked Steve's swim co-captain, standing with him beside the pool. "No way. You read the numbers backwards again, Harrington?"

"Shut up. I’m calling this one."

When Steve broke the news, Munson pulled off his swim-cap and a mass of dark, damp hair tumbled out. “One of your teammates said my tats automatically disqualify me,” said Munson.

“That’s bullshit.” Steve actually found Munson’s freaky tattoos bizarrely compelling. Oh, and the body beneath—all lean rope-like muscle, not massive shoulders, but a decent swimmer’s physique. “We need you. You beat most of the sports scholarship guys.”

“I know.” Munson shrugged. “And you can take my place on your dumb squad and stuff it up their buttholes.”

“What the heck, man? Why did you trial, if you don’t want in?”

“To show you over-privileged frat-house dicks you ain’t special. I qualify every year—you’re just the first knucklehead to notice. Anyhooo.” He poked his tongue out stupidly. Steve planted his hands on his hips and couldn’t glare harder. “I’m off to Who Soc.”

“What Soc?”

Munson’s shoulder clipped Steve’s as he passed—possibly an accident, but he nearly toppled Steve into the pool.

“Screw you, man! Crawl back to your den of Satanist freaks, like I care.”

“Yeah?” Munson poked out his tongue again, wiggled his fingers. “Hexing you, Harrington. Oooooh, bet you’re pissing yourself.”

***

Eddie had simply been getting one back for the little guys, against all those over-pumped numbskulls. 

He still felt bad when he heard what happened at the inter-state semis—some moron dived into the pool on top of Harrington in the shallow end, breaking his leg.

It bugged Eddie. So much he wound up visiting Steve at the hospital.

When Eddie sidled into Steve’s room, Steve’s pale face—peeking from behind his plastered leg in traction—said it all: What the heck?

“Hey,” mumbled Eddie. “Guess I’m the last person you expected.”

“On my list of expected visitors, you were somewhere below Elvis.” Harrington seemed pissed. Also genuinely bewildered.

He was still sexy as hell.

Especially now Eddie couldn’t find it in his cold, metal-loving heart to hate the guy. Mmmm, and was it kinda wrong to wanna lick those well-muscled arms, and picture him shirtless… even when Harrington glowered at him from a hospital bed?

Eddie raised his palms in half-hearted surrender. “I owe you an explanation. I’ve been doing swim trials since Middle School. My time is always good—the place I grew up in was right by a lake—yet nobody ever gave me my place on the squad before. This face never fits.” He gurned a silly grin. “Then you went and flew in the face of all the laws in the universe and offered me ‘in.’ I guess it... blew me away.”

“I was only following the goddamn rules.” Steve grumpily puffed his flatter-than-usual hair from his eyes.

“Yeah, and I was a dick, and the Hex thing was dumb. I didn’t really… you know…”

“I don’t blame you for my stupid accident.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not a complete moron. I'm scraping a pass in English Lit, okay?” As the atmosphere softened, Eddie shuffled nearer Steve’s bed. “Good job. Who's gonna keep me here on a sports scholarship now?”

“Sorry, man.”

“Jesus, it’s not your fault!” Up close, Harrington looked exhausted, possibly even in pain, with dark smudgy shadows around his eyes. “You know, you can do something to make this less shit.”

Eddie’s heart squeezed oddly—gratefully? “What?”

“Take my place in the squad.” Steve mumbled toward hands clasped in his lap. “I recorded your times, made it official. The place is yours to claim. I'd tell the team myself… if any of them came to visit.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nobody’s got time for a swim co-captain who’ll never swim competitively again.” 

A lump clogged Eddie’s throat. Harrington’s face worked strangely, too… Shit, shit, shit! Eddie reached out, tentatively squeezed Steve’s shoulder. Steve looked up sharply, eyes large and liquid. Damn, the boy was tense.

“That stinks,” said Eddie.

“Yeeeah.” Steve’s laugh was shaky, while Eddie’s mind raced: 

“Dude, I’m in a ton of non-sports societies. D & D, model-making, Who Soc… Uh, maybe not that one for you. I can bring a few of the guys and gals here, see if you get into anything.”

“I don’t need YOU to find me friends.” Harrington’s spikiness proved short-lived. He unleashed a resigned sigh: “Look, man, I’m not exactly in the mood for parties, but… If you wanna come back… that would be cool.”

Suddenly, neither of them could look at each other. Eddie’s face was burning. Could he actually be into me?

“Tho’ if you’re not fresh from swim practice when you arrive, I’m not interested, Munson.”

Eddie hooted: “You blackmailing me?”

“I can play dirty, ya know, buck expectations, too.” Steve went in for the kill. He smiled up at Eddie, a proper, hot-as-hell smile, which reached his too-pretty brown eyes. 

Is he hitting on me?!? Eddie gawked like a goldfish.

“See you tomorrow?”

***

On the day of the national finals, Steve watched from the stands. When Eddie slammed home for victory on the final leg of the freestyle relay, Steve was on his feet—okay, propped by his crutches—cheering his head off.

As soon as Eddie could get away, he clambered, wet and dripping, through to the rear of the stands and planted an even wetter kiss on Steve's lips. Steve threw his arms around his boyfriend. It was great to finally be with somebody to whom only the real things in life mattered. 

"Love you, Champ," he whispered in Eddie’s ear.

"Love you, too." Eddie kissed him again.

Victory had never felt so hot.

***

Thanks for reading :) Also part of my steve whump fic series (mainly steddie) on ao3

[teaffrogy]

Everything's okay[Astarion]

SUM. Maybe it was jealousy what Astarion felt when Layla was with Wyll, and that they had fun. Maybe it was because Layla made fun of him and with Wyll she didn't. Maybe it wasn't hate what he felt with Layla but hurt.

A/N: Tav is Female in this part. Also I will make more side stories for everyone. :)) as always you can change it to whatever you'd like. If you have any request u can always send them to my inbox!! Love you all❤️ also I am sorry if Astarion seems OOC :(

Explanation here<-

Astarion wasn't very fond of Layla. After all, she is a kid, and he hates kids. She was a mess, a horrible mess. She gets dirty easily. She likes to get in the mud with scratches and the OwlCub. She was also a troublemaker. A big one. If Astarion looked away from his tent just for one second, his nicely stacked books were now all on the floor, or some of his belongings were missing.

Ha has openly said how much he hates Layla, but everyone calls him a jerk. Oh, but Layla had favorites, and one of them was Wyll. She admired him, she loved him!! And that annoyed him. He found it annoying how she would keep his tent so nice and tidied and nice. She never took anything and did not even make fun of him at all! He crossed his arms as he saw Layla talking with Wyll.

“Is something the matter?” You ask as you look at Astarion. He hummed and turned to look at you. “Oh, nothing, darling.” He says as he touches your face, admiring how gorgeous you looked. You smiled at him and kissed his hand. “Is it Layla again?” You ask as you look at your daughter who was playing with Wyll. You held his hand and smiled, “She will like you soon, okay? It just takes time for her.”

“Well apparently with Wyll she didn't.” He said and you chuckled at him. “Stop that,” Astarion says.

“Stop what?”

“Making fun Of me!”

“I am not! I just find it funny that you are jealous of Wyll.” You say. And he presses His hand to his chest, surprised. “I am not jealous. Not one bit! Actually, and I am sorry to say this, dear, but I hate Layla.” He says. You shake your head. “Okay, whatever you say.” She says and kisses his cheek. “You can feed on me tonight.” You say and head back to helping Gale. “Thank you, Darling.” He says, hoping you heard that. He looked back at Wyll, and Layla was looking at him. She had this curious look on her, but when she noticed Astarion looking at her, she stuck her tongue out and ran to her mother. You look at Layla gently pick her up and kiss her on her cheek.

Layla, while still looking at Astarion, kissed her mom on the cheek. He rolls his eyes at her and grabs his book. It wasn't like he cared anyway.

He sits down to read his book. And he knew that Layla was coming. He drops the book and grabs her arm. “Ah! I caught you!” He yells and Layla laughs. A Laugh she gives to Wyll or Karlach when they play. She stops, seeming like she noticed and stopped herself on purpose. And before she could run away, she kicked His nicely stacked books on the floor. She laughs at him and runs away.

“You little shit!” He yells.

As Astarion pulls away from your neck, gently, he takes the last gulp of blood he had left in his mouth, moaning at the taste. “Thank you again, Darling.” He says and you nod. You moved to touch his face and moved his hair behind his ears. He smiles at you and you smile back, bringing him into a soft kiss. You sit up and say, “I will be right back, I'm going to clean myself off. Please take a look at Layla while I am gone.” You grabbed some spare clothes and looked at Astarion. “Can I kiss you?” You asked.

“Can't get enough?” You giggled, and he brought you in for a kiss. You kiss him back, testing the metallic flavor of the blood he drank. “Okay, I'll be back soon.” You say as you walk away. Astarion stood there, not knowing if he should stay in his tent or go to your tent. He decided to stay, not wanting to be greeted by Layla's attitude if she did wake up. Like always, he grabs his book, turns on a candle, and starts to read. He would look up from his book to your tent from time to time. His red eyes scanned around, and everyone was in their tents, sleeping. It felt quiet and lonely.

But the silence stops as he hears soft sobs. He hasn't heard these sobs before. He turned to everyone's tent but everything seemed quiet. No candle was on. He looks at your tent and is met with Layla, her hair is messy and she's rubbing one eye as she sobs. She looked lost. She moves to look at Wyll’s tent but he isn't there. She looked over at Karlach but She wasn't there either. She looked at everyone but the candles were out and no one was outside, except Astarion. Her sobs become crying as she runs up to Astarion. He froze as he saw her running to him. She then lays in his lap and wraps her arms around him as she sobs. “I miss Mama.” She cries as she hugs him. He slowly moved his arms to wrap them around her small body and he sighed.

“She will be back soon,” Astarion says. “I want Mama back!” she cries, he could feel her tears wet his shirt, but it didn't matter. “Everything is okay.” He says as he gently rubs his hand on her hair. “She will come back.” He still holds onto her as the candle shines. Her crying calms down and her breathing becomes softer. As she falls asleep, Astarion still holds on to her. He fixes her up in his arms as her head is lying now on his arm instead of his shoulder. He grabs a blanket near him and puts it on her. He looks down at Layla. She had dried tears on her cheeks.

She must have been terrified. She lost her mom once. Is this how she was when she couldn't find her mom in the morning? Did she cry like this? Who did she hug? He brushes Layla's hair behind her ear and feels sad. She must have felt so alone. He didn't hate her, he just didn't like that Layla didn't like him. He wanted to have a good relationship like hers and Wyll's. He had a soft spot for her. And he had that feeling for you too, that feeling of having something to care for.

He hears footsteps approaching and he sees you. “Oh.” Was all you said as you saw Layla in his arms. You smiled at him and kissed Layla's forehead. “Thank you Astarion.” You say and press your forehead on his. “She looks just like you.”

“I know, I've been told that a lot.” You say and close your eyes. “I…I don't know what to do.” He says and you look at him. “She likes you, you know?” You say. “She did this to a boy she liked but didn't know how to approach him so she would throw anything at him. At the end, she just said she wanted to be his friend.” You say, remembering how your Layla, who was 5, told everything to you about that boy. She wanted a friend, she just didn't know how to be his friend.

“What if she actually Doesn't like me?”

“She does.” You say as you kiss his cheek. You look down at Layla, who was sleeping, so calmly. “We will try, okay?” You say and he nods.

“I don't hate her, I really care for her.”

“And she knows.”

He looks at Layla, and he actually sees her with you and him. In his life. Where you three all live together. Maybe he did want that. Layla, you, and him.

And everything would be okay.

Astarion was woken up by Layla's giggles. He opens his eyes and sees Layla looking down at him. “Hi.” She says.

This felt…weird. By now, his whole tent would be a mess, but it was nice, pretty like always. “Hello.” He says as he sits up. Layla looks down at her shoes and back at her mom, who was 7 feet apart from them. Layla was blushing, her little foot digging the floor. “I'm sorry.” She whispers. “I'm sorry for being a mean person to you.” Layla says, and Astarion just smiles at her. “It's okay, except for the fact you called me old.” Layla smiles at him, but her smile drops as she looks away from him.

“I just don't want Mommy to leave me again.” She admits. “And I won't take her.” He says. Her [Eye Color]’s look at his red eyes. “Really?”

“Really.” He says, and Layla smiles at him. She gives him a hug and runs back to her mom, giving her leg a hug and hiding behind it. She likes Astarion. And Astarion does, too.

[candyskiez]

Thinking about ???%/Shigeo as a character today and losing my mind. Like he's so funny to joke about but also he's SUCH an interesting character (especially from a plural angle, ESPECIALLY when you're a system yourself) and he makes me want to explode. Imagine forming to protect a little kid and deciding you love him so so much and you'll always be there for him, and you love his little brother, and you love his best friend, even though the world doesn't love you very much. But you take it anyway because you have those three and your little family so you're happy. And you have powers and they're a part of you and the other kid and it's fine until it very suddenly Isn't, and nobody's explaining why, just that you need to Stop Having Them. And the kid just decides, okay, I'm sorry, I'll be normal. And you get no explanation. You just have to be suppressed that little bit more. You form because he can't handle being suppressed yet he suppresses you. And then one day it all blows up and you make a mistake trying to protect your little brother and suddenly everyone hates you. Everyone thinks every little thing you've ever done is proof you're a monster and you always would've turned out like this, and you have no idea what they're talking about. You made a mistake trying to save your brother. But because you look scary and act different, even though you've always been there suddenly you existing is dangerous. Because you made a mistake, you are now Irredeemable.

That would fuck ANY kid up. But like, think about it. Shigeo had no one except Tsumobi and Mob and Mob's family. And suddenly he has no one. Mob represses him so deeply. He makes one mistake and suddenly he's not allowed to talk to anyone, suddenly he's completely alone and isolated. He has to share a brain with someone who despises him. He has the trauma of the accident AND the trauma of suddenly losing everyone he loves on top of it. He literally had no one for years. No wonder he's so fucking cynical. All of the shit about "I don't trust anyone" in the manga? Yeah, of course he doesn't. The rug was pulled out from under him so fast. In his eyes everyone just hated him for no reason, because he existed, and everyone would hurt him for existing, so he could only trust himself. Yeah, no wonder he's so selfish, he has no one else there at ALL. It's just...holyyyy hell.

And the thing is if you actually look the little things point to him yearning for connection so desperately. He's still so aggressively protective of his family (even though he lost them a long time ago, they're Mob's now, they don't even know he's there. Don't get me started on that from a plural view. I won't shut up and will probably pour my heart out.), and just ...world domination arc. When he's so upset about losing his family. We know he doesn't trust Reigen. Yet he's running to Reigen for some sort of comfort because he's scared and doesn't want his family to die and wants someone to tell him everything's fine. And Reigen DOES and he believes him. He believes him and immediately passes out. The guy who doesn't trust anyone wants to be loved so so bad and wants to believe Reigen more than anything. He really clearly WANTS to be able to trust Reigen. But he can't. More on this later.

And also thinking about why the build up in confession arc broke him like that is just fucking sad, man. Everyone was telling them to change. Shigeo's been told to change and it meant "be normal". Mob isn't even the one who actually likes Tsumobi like that. Shigeo's being completely repressed and Mob wants to live without him completely. Everyone wants to live without him now that they've used his powers to get this nice perfect life (in his eyes, at least.) Everyone's just trying to forget he ever existed so they can be happy without him, when Shigeo never GOT to heal. He never got to move on. He never got to process any of the god awful shit that happened to him. Everyone's telling him, change. Be normal. Be normal so Tsumobi will like you. And Shigeo's so fucking stressed out of his mind because lying about who he is didn't even help Mob make friends, it didn't make him popular, it didn't make anyone like him, it just made them both miserable. He doesn't want to be stuck like this. Of course he's freaking out. We see in his encounter with the body improvement club that being told to go back to normal sets him off HARD. It's clearly a sensitive subject. "Normal" means "Don't exist" to Shigeo. Do you see why this fucked me up as a system yet. Oh my god.

And his breakdown is just...painfully understandable. Like, actually think about it for a second. Shigeo has never been shown forgiveness or compassion or any amount of understanding for his mistakes. He never was taught to mature or see any nuance. He fucked up, so he doesn't deserve any second chance. Nobody ever taught him compassion. He has such a completely black and white view of the world. If someone did something bad once, they are forever The Bad Thing. If someone was kind to him once, they are forever Good and Perfect. Teru was a threat once, so he is now Always A Threat. Reigen was a liar before so he is Always A Liar. Ritsu was sweet and kind as a kid so he is always His Innocent Little Brother. And Tsumobi accepted him as a kid, so now she's the only person who could ever possibly accept him. Teru sees Shigeo at his most terrifying, when he's actively hunting him down, and in the manga looks at him with fucking hearts in his eyes. Ritsu might not be all perfect, but he's trying so hard and understanding no, Shigeo isn't just a scary part of Mob. Shigeo isn't Evil. But because neither of their acceptance is perfect, and because they aren't from Tsumobi, he can't see it's even there. And also, another thing, his response to people acting outside of his perception of him is to get them away. It scares him. Teru isn't acting how he expected? Attack maim. Ritsu isn't afraid of him anymore? Teleport him away so he doesn't have to confront the change. Reigen acts different? Throw shit at him until he hates him.

It's just so...fuck man. Of course he's like that. He's immature and selfish because nobody taught him not to be. Nobody helped this kid when he needed it and this is the result. He thinks he's an irredeemable monster so he acts like one when he's told to just be himself. He doesn't see change as being realistic. He's been treated the same no matter what he does so he assumes this is how the world naturally is. He's just a bitter mentally ill kid who nobody gave any reason to believe that maybe the world is nice sometimes.

Another thing: I think he really really wants Reigen to care about him. Him going "I can't listen to him" is so intense with the context of the fact he immediately passes out to rest and let Mob take care of it once Reigen says his parents are safe. Reigen can convince him like nobody else can. He cares about him and wants to believe him and that's terrifying! He hates him and resents him and wants him to be proud of him and wants nothing to do with him and it's confusing and he just wants something that is (supposedly) guaranteed. He wants Reigen to care so badly and it feels impossible. Why would he ever care? He just wants to use him. The only way to bring Shigeo back from his breakdown was to show him that people can be kind without wanting something back in return. Reigen saying "you don't need me anymore" was the only real way to help him, to show him that he's not doing this for himself, but because he cares about his student(s). Because he cares about BOTH of them. He cares about every version he's seen and interacted with, not because of his powers but because they were them. He had to let go of them to truly help them here, so Shigeo wouldn't have any lingering fear. What helps Shigeo is the display of kindness with nothing to be gained and Mob finally realizing that Shigeo's just...flawed. They both realize that sometimes people are just flawed and fucked up and make bad decisions and just straight up hurt people. And they'll still love you. They'll still be worth saving. But you can't deny their flaws, for Mob, and you don't need to seek the perfect relationship to have someone there, for Shigeo. It just. Agh! God! I am always losing my mind over this story. Fuck. This SHOW .