#᛭ — [HEADCANON] dark dreams await you [KAZUTORA HANEMIYA]

[deathfavor]

One of Kazutora's secret but not so secret love languages is stargazing. Just join him in stargazing. Regardless of what point in time, Kazutora's always been focused on them. He doesn't invite often unless someone asks where he's going, but he always welcomes if someone joins him. When he's younger he mainly goes to abandoned building rooftops and lays there but occasionally can be found at the park or beach. When he's older he normally goes to the apartment rooftop and lays there, but also still goes to the beach or park. If it's a really bad night though he'll go to the old abandoned spots he had (at least those remaining). But for the majority of the time he goes to the apartment roof. If he's feeling restless or had a rough day, he's especially prone to spending hours looking at the star. He's usually got blankets and some pillows out and calms down extremely quickly. Getting to share that with someone though is always something of a bonding moment, at least in Kazutora's eyes.

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I've been contemplating this topic for a little bit, so I'm going to make an effort to explain the differences between Kazutora and Izana's sense of trust issues & abandonment. Hopefully it will make sense.

In a single sentence, I would summarize the difference as this: Kazutora's trust issues are more external while Izana's are more internal.

What does this mean? Let's look at Kazutora first.

Kazutora has, essentially, always had this mentality of wariness of others. He grew up in an environment that encouraged this sort of wariness and trust issues, and it was fed in part by his mother's repetition of the idea that is one this side or that side, right or wrong, black or white, yourself or others, etc. Kazutora keeps people at bay like a wild animal, snapping and snarling and running when they get too close. For Kazutora, he genuinely believes that everyone will become a traitor. That that is what people do. They will betray and abandon you at one point or another, in some form or another. He explictly states it as human behavior. This is why Kazutora had the idea to not let people close. He pushes them away, deals with things on his own, because he doesn't trust people.

It takes a lot to break through that. Baji is obviously the one person we see really manage it. He sticks by Kazutora when he tries to run away before Toman was ever formed. And eventually, that relentless determination leads to Kazutora finally trusting him. When Kazutora does, he does so intensely. It sets off a different set of issues in that he's afraid to lose Baji, but he does TRUST Baji. The same goes for Chifuyu in Bad Toman. ( Bonten I did not include because it may be different - we don't see much of their dynamic and it lacks a lot of the situations that i think would lead to that in Bad Toman. ) Once Kazutora trusts you, he trusts you. He lets you in. He still tends to try to downplay or hide things like any person does, but he really does open up more. If you can climb the walls of trust issues, you're welcomed by Kazutora inside the castle. He won't really doubt the trust unless you do something to explicitly make him DOUBT that trust. That's why his trust issues are more external. Kazutora won't trust you until you really, really prove to him that he should and that you mean it, but once you do, you have his trust.

Kazutora's trust then creates the abandonment issue, as we see how detrimental this is to Kazutora. His mind cannot handle that sort of situation, and it immediately reverts to self preservation. When it comes to it, Kazutora and Izana are both ones to prioritize saving themselves and their minds. Which, as we see with Kazutora, means eradicating any threat - Shinichiro, Mikey, and then for a moment, Baji.

Now let's look at Izana.

Unlike Kazutora, Izana didn't ALWAYS have the trust issues that he has now. He just didn't, and we can see it with how easily he connects to Kakucho at a young age. He also genuinely believed he promise that he gave to Emma before he was sent off to the orphanage. They began to crop up in the orphanage - plenty of research has gone to showing this is often a product of children in orphanages ( along with other issues ). It became about survival in a way. But Karen and Shinichiro were a big part of what ultimately sent his trust issues and abandonment spiraling out of control into becoming the beasts they've become.

Izana's trust issues are more internal because he will rewrite the narrative so to speak if he needs to for his own sake. Izana has always been distant and picky, but he had trust. With discovering the fact he wasn't who he thought he was, everything went wildly out of control. Izana has an extremely difficult time trusting people. He's more likely to trust abilities over people.

After what happened when he was twelve, he hates being vulnerable. To him, trust is actively a weapon. ( Kazutora, on the other hand, looks at it more as a trap than a weapon. ) Trusting someone is giving them a knife and hoping that they aren't going to stab you to death with it. Part of his loathing with trust comes into Izana's need for control. He hates not being in control, and giving someone trust means giving them some control and power to hurt you. He doesn't want to be seen as vulnerable. But with a lot of slow determination, Izana can and does start to trust. He starts to let them closer and get away with things he would hurt or kill other people for.

At the same time, fear of abandonment or betrayal still dig their talons into Izana. Izana can't fully shake the fear that he will be abandoned like Karen did to him, or how the reveal with Shinichiro left him feeling abandoned. Unlike Kazutora who trusts once you earn it, Izana can never fully give all of his trust away. It might be very tiny and easily soothed, but there's a part of him that will always fear abandonment. This can sometimes lead to Izana rewriting narratives in his head for the sake of keeping himself 'safe'. Even if part of him knows its fake & a lie he's telling himself, it helps. For example, saying Tenjiku only follows him from fear. I don't think Izana fully believes that, I think he does know there's more to it ( but he DOES think fear/reverance has some part of it ) and that they actually care. But it's easier on his mind to think that way. If they follow him from fear, they don't care, which protects him in a warped way. He can cut the attachment he feels, at least in the moment of high emotion and chaos in his head, so it doesn't hurt him. He tries to protect himself from the sharp edges of trust, which sometimes means protecting himself from the soft parts of trust as well. That's why I say his is internal. He primarily focuses on his own mental space.

I'm not sure if this all made sense or not, but I hope it can offer a bit of an insight to the difference between Kazutora & Izana's trust issues. For Kazutora, the idea of abandonment/betrayal is the active threat that drives him, while for Izana, the very act of trusting itself is the weapon he fears.

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Anonymous said: How do your TR muses express they love someone without saying it?

Kazutora is easy in some ways because he's very, very physically affectionate. He both loves to give and receive physical touch. So that tends to be one of his big ways to express it. But outside of that, it tends to depend on the point of time. You get to see more docile moments with him, more light in his eyes and smiles. Which is true for all of them really. Out of his own head and more carefree and bright.

Izana is...a bit difficult in that you definitely have to know him to some degree before you can tell. But he starts to value their opinion more and takes their wants and needs into consideration. Its a quiet expression, but an expression nonetheless. He turns to them when he needs help or wants company. It's the I want you. of it all. Even if they're doing nothing, he's going out of his way to either be with the or want them with hi,

.... hanma's hanma. that's all you're getting there's nothing more to say.

[deathfavor]

I used Hanma to sweet talk Hanemiya.  

Kazutora is the only person who we know that Kisaki had to use another person to get to Kazutora rather than talk to the person himself. Hanma has always been called Kisaki’s weapon, his blade, while Kisaki’s known to be the charismatic and people person, the one pulling the strings. The fact that it has to be passed off to Hanma of all people puts a rather huge implication that Kisaki tried and failed with Kazutora.   

And honestly? I think it has a lot to do with the same reasons that Kazutora did not like Mikey initially. Growing up in an abusive situation, Kazutora is very alert to the way people hold themselves. It was part of his survival strategy. He doesn’t like only selfish people or people who look down on others. Kazutora is bad at perceiving genuine kindness and care, but he’s extremely good at perceiving that selfishness and those who look down on others due to his father. More than likely, Kazutora’s entire paternal side carries themselves with the same aura to them. In different degrees and forms, but it’s taught Kazutora what to notice and what to be on guard for.

Which is a little bit of a detour point I want to make. Hanma and Mikey are selfish, but they're selfish in different ways. Which I think is why Kazutora responds better to Hanma than he did to when he first was meeting Mikey. ( Not to mention Kazutora is far more unstable when he meets Hanma so there's that + the promise of killing Mikey that Hanma offers. ) To Kazutora, Mikey is a selfish in a way that directly effects everyone around him. Throwing tantrums, causing a scene, etc. Kazutora hates that. Hanma? Hanma's selfish but in a way that really only applies to himself. He doesn't demand people change things or cater to his will. He's like 'I'm going to do [x] and you can come if you want to'. There's freedom in Hanma's selfishness to join or not. Sure it might effect people as a side effect, but he's not 'everyone must listen to me' sort of selfish. Not in Kazutora's eyes. Kisaki's aura reminds him of Mikey. 

So when Kisaki approached him? The tiger’s hackles raised in wariness. He knows that look in Kisaki's eyes, that attitude that surrounds him and he wants no part of it. Even if nobody else sees it Kazutora knows damn well that it’s there. It immediately sets him against Kisaki, and Kazutora has no interest in what is promised to him by people like Kisaki. He’s done with those days. He’s not the same boy that Junpeke used to push around. Not since meeting Baji, and especially since not killing Shinichiro. Getting entangled with people like him doesn’t end well. (Nor does not getting involved it seems in this case.) 

So it takes Hanma to draw the tiger in. Hanma who promises danger and adrenaline. Hanma who radiates power and strength and offers him freedom. Hanma who tells Kazutora how strong he is and who promises that he’ll help Kazutora get to Mikey through Valhalla. Hanma knows a broken and wounded person when he sees one. He doesn't often go for that style of interaction but he knows to hand feed the tiger praise and shape him the way he wants ( or rather, that Kisaki wants - although Hanma never 100% listens to Kisaki, he likes his own fun too. ) Kazutora responds well to Hanma's praise and freedom and what he offers.

I just think it's interesting to see a more hands on approach with Hanma being the one who has to lure in Kazutora because Kisaki can't get to him the way Kisaki gets to everyone else. 

[deathfavor]

Something that Kazutora is never used to regardless of age is unexpected kindness. It always sets off a wary alarm in him. And it's sad but it's the truth. He can handle it with holidays, he knows to expect the unexpected then. But if someone were to suddenly decide on a random day to spoil him for no reason or have a surprise waiting when he gets home or to somewhere, it's always met with confusion, uncertainty, and a wariness. Depending on the context, he might assume it's for someone else rather than him. And even if he is certain, he's the type to leap to a conclusion ( did he do something wrong? are you leaving? what's wrong? etc. etc. ) It really is devastating to see how he greets unexpected kindness with fear and uncertainty. How he so openly shows that he doesn't think that can be for him.

A small thing like an unexpected snack won't set him off, but larger gestures do. He can, with time and enough assurances, come to accept them from people on a very individual basis. And then he's more prone to tearing up and what did I do to deserve this? sort of reactions, big teary eyes even if he's very excited about it. It always catches him by surprise and he tends to cling onto the gifter for a bit. Kazutora really doesn't know how to handle soft and gentle. He's very passionate, intense, and energetic. He can handle intense (good or bad), violent, energetic, a lot of things. But someone being slow and gentle? He stumbles and falters, struggles to find footing in a field he doesn't know how to navigate it. On a very brief nsfw note, it's why things like just being slow or body worship often have him trembling and tearing up because he doesn't know what to do wit that when things are usually more intense or bdsm. It doesn't mean he doesn't like it but it just brings a lot of emotions to the surface that he's not sure how to grasp.

[deathfavor]

I know this is a going to be a messy post so this is your forewarning and apology in advance for how all over the place it is. Good luck.

Kazutora is not someone who can easily break away from bad influences or habits. Quite frankly, he probably can't all on his own. The reasons vary a bit depending on the age, but it doesn't change that even if he KNOWS it's bad or fucked up, he really struggles. Whether it's a toxic connection with someone or bad habits, the claws sink in and draw him in. When he's younger, it's a mix of things. He doesn't trust few, but once he DOES, he has a very intense connection and sense of clinging on to someone. ( Admittedly that lingers in adulthood though not as severe. ) He wants their attention and approval, and he'd do a lot to gain it, in the case that it's a person. When he's older, its a mix of longing for familiarity and a sense of self punishment, and that part of him that still clings on to whatever connection was in the past. If you've had him wrapped around your finger at any point, you definitely can reawaken those poisonous vines in him again.

It's one reason I say Hanma is so dangerous for Kazutora in the future without Kazutora necessarily realizing it. It's not in the physical sense so much as Hanma KNOWS Kazutora and he's already had an influential hold over Kazutora in the past. ( Even if genuine, it is nonetheless a powerful weapon on hand. ) But it can go for anyone he's looked up to or wanted attention from at any point ever. Kazutora can be lured back into a bad situation or arrangement far too easily. Same goes in for bad habits ; when opportunity presents itself he might accept it. Less so if he's doing well, but whenever he's frustrated or sad or feeling isolated, he's more inclined to accept the opportunity or act on it.

And here's the thing. Kazutora's plenty aware he's messed up and no saint. Which is also part of what makes him more willing to accept a bad situation. Because he feels he deserves it, or it's a case of mutual destruction, of you fuck me up and i fuck you up, an unhealthy dynamic that festers and worsens. And he CAN walk away if he really wants to, but he's a very vulnerable target when he's at his worst. Kazutora can be mean, he can be manipulative, he can lash out be it in words or actions. When pushed to a point, despite all the progress older Kazutora has made, it still kicks his act first think later instincts into being in charge. Toxic / unhealthy / bad connections make him feel less guilty when the worst parts of him show up.

Kazutora, truthfully, needs someone who can pry him out of those situations. Who can intervene, but can also be patient when Kazutora slips and fucks up. He WILL and that's a fact. You can't just strongarm him out of things or it'll either make him worse or he'll never really learn it. Even if it's painful, even if it hurts, he has to reach the conclusions himself, especially in the case of a person. Be there when he's crumbling or intervene to say go home or something like that. But being like " [X] is bad for you" ? That won't do anything. He probably KNOWS that already, it's just that he thinks he deserves that pain or suffering or whatever it might be. He needs to see how it makes him worse. Otherwise without that, we end up with gestures at all my bad ending aus

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@valorheroics said: J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship? ( @ your tokrev muses 👀 )

valentine's day headcanon prompts

Kazutora definitely can get jealous. It depends how secure he feels in the relationship and how much of a threat he views someone else. Like he knows him and his partner look great, so staring doesn't bother him. He might flaunt it if anything. He likes the attention both for him an his partner, or being able to say this is mine and be proud of that.

It's when people start to make a move on them or he feels like they're taking all of his partner's attention away that he can begin to get very uneasy and start to lash out or be upset and get deeply jealous. He tries to keep it in check but he tends to overthink and start to spiral. Again, it does depend on how much Kazutora views the person as a threat. Sometimes he can let his partner deal with it and be just fine. But there's definitely times where he gets very jealous and uncertain. In those cases its best to dote on him some.

Good luck pinning Hanma down to a defined, explicitly stated relationship. Although I suppose you don't actually need that to be jealous. But regardless, the answer is no. Hanma's not a jealous person. He doesn't really care. If someone makes the other person uncomfortable then he'll step in and deal with it if need be. But otherwise? He really couldn't care even if its happening in front of him.

Hanma doesn't have a very possessive attitude. And I don't mean in regards to just relationships. I mean this to everything ; clothes, objects, whatever. He isn't very possessive so he doesn't care that much. If they want to go fuck someone else, go ahead. If they come back? Cool. If they don't? He's not going to cry or be upset over it. He just isn't a jealous kind of person. So with him you never have to worry about it. If anything he's more likely to make a playful comment on liking having someone's attention. If they enjoy that. But like I said, he will intervene on behalf if it makes them uncomfortable. But it's never jealousy.

Izana is definitely a jealous type when it comes to being in a relationship. There's very few people who Izana would likely get in a relationship with to begin with. But when he is in a relationship? That's his and if you make a move on them, well, it very well might end up with you going to the hospital for a few days. He isn't above getting violent. In fact, he's probably going to turn violent because Izana doesn't have the filter or restraint that most people do and we know this from canon.

Try to take something from a king, and he'll remind you that you're nothing more than an ant under his boot. He DOES NOT take kindly to it. He might pause or be redirected if his lover intervenes or quickly shuts it down themselves before he can get involved, in which case he'll settle back down quickly. But otherwise? It'll probably get ugly for the other person who has provoked the jealousy very fast.

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@healingscars said: X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names? @ your tokrev muses !

valentine's day headcanon prompts

Kazutora likes when pet names are given to him and he responds very well to them. At least if they're tiger / feline themed or troublesome. Other things depend on the situation and who is saying it for how he feels about them. He doesn't really use them though. He mostly sticks to abbreviations of their name. He might start using them if they want them, but he doesn't typically go out of his way to come up with one unless it happens to strike him one day. So he isn't against it, just doesn't typically have them.

Hanma...no. Which surprises nobody. He'll use nicknames (like calling Kazutora 'tiger' but that's not a stretch given Tora), but he doesn't give pet names. Nor does he like them being used towards him. He doesn't get that entangled. I guess the closest might be Draken calling him Zombie which he doesn't mind and finds funny. Technically anyone could call him that like they call him the reaper, but it's just their thing. But otherwise, nah. Hanma doesn't use them or like them.

Izana also doesn't use them outside of the king / servant or similar styled dynamics. But those aren't pet names, it's just him being extra. It just isn't really Izana's sort of thing. As for liking them? No one is insane enough to try to use one on him. I think he'd be more surprised than anything else if someone attempted it.

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Kazutora really dislikes when people say he'll always be a part of Toman, both Valhalla era and in his future verse.

When he's younger, it provokes him into a violent fit of rage. He wants nothing to do with Toman. I don't think he ever had that connection with Toman despite Baji having the idea to do so for Kazutora. But Kazutora never asked for anyone to help with his problems with Black Dragon. He also never seemed to really find his place other than besides Baji, although he's always cool with Pah and seems decent at least with Draken. ( Enough to answer a phone call and meet up with him even as enemies. ) Mitsuya's always been icy for whatever reason and Kazutora didn't like Mikey for a good while there. So he could enjoy some times, sure, but it wasn't his gang. They weren't his friends per se. And the situation with Junpeke also destroyed his faith in friendships other than Baji. So when he gets out of juvie, all he wants to do is have that chapter sealed and shut. He burned his uniform that night. Toman is just an enemy in his mind. He participates in those hunting down Toman members and beating them / burning the outfits. Like he said " Don't stop if they can still move. " He's not Toman. He doesn't WANT to be affiliated with it.

In his future verses, it causes discomfort rather than the fury of his youth. In some ways, his mindset hasn't change. Kazutora never really bought into the whole 'always a part of Toman' bit because he never really felt he fit in to begin with even before everything went bad. And he actually spent more time as a member of Valhalla than Toman, he connected better in Valhalla than he did with Toman. So in the future when/if someone says it, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. Other than Bad Toman for obvious reasons. But Bonten? It causes a lot of discomfort and he'll generally just try to push the conversation on or look away or anything other than directly responding it. Because his history with Toman isnt good. Because he missed out on the years everyone else did things and grew. He's not a part of that. Valhalla was always the gang that felt more like his than anything else. ( And his white jacket in that timeline is suspiciously similar to Valhalla's, all im saying. )

In his other AUs for the future though, it DOES provoke a mix between youthful rage and older discomfort depending on the particular one.

All in all, saying he's a part of Toman really just does provoke negative or uncomfortable emotions at best with Kazutora.

[deathfavor]

Kazutora hates his surname with a burning passion. He hates that attachment to his father that remains, hates both sides of his families, he wants nothing to do with that name. In general, even when he's older, he hates for anyone to call him Hanemiya. He actively tells people to just call him Kazutora. He doesn't care about the honorifics and etiquette, he insists upon it. Using Hanemiya is an instant way to get him tense and aggravated at any age. He'll become stand-off ish and shut down to some degree if not completely.

Given the opportunity, he would absolutely want to be the one to change his name without hesitation. He would love to drop it and never have that weight with him again. It would be one more shackle that he's free from in his life. It's rather common knowledge how much Kazutora dislikes his surname, so it's no surprise, but it is just a weight he'd enjoy freedom from.

[deathfavor]

SKYLINES + TOK REV MUSES

It's one of the nuances I tend to implement in regards to scenery and my tokyo revenger muses ( albeit it also shows up with some other muses too, like Chrollo). But where each muse looks when they're on a rooftop reveals a bit more about their personality. Of course this is in general and how they're interacting with someone might of course change it. But in their natural state, it's a bit telling.

KAZUTORA.

Kazutora in general is either often either looking up at the stars, or he is looking out. And I say out because it is very different than the way Izana gazes. For Kazutora, it's shows his desire to escape. It can be anything, from a situation, from his own thoughts, from his feelings, from the city in general. He turns to the stars or vast distances as a way to reflect that escapism. It's not here but there. It isn't even so much that he's fascinated by the stars, but he likes what they represent, that freedom they hold. It takes him away, if only for a little while. It's partially why he's specifically inclined to buildings without railings. Among other reasons, he doesn't want to feel restrained or caged, he'd rather balance precariously on the edge and feel free than safe behind a fence.

IZANA.

In contrast to Kazutora, Izana looks downwards when he's on a skyline. He also actively tends to choose the highest or one of the highest places he can find whereas Kazutora tends to seek out abandoned places regardless of their height. Izana isn't looking out, but rather gazing down upon the city like a king on a throne. For him, it's a display of his dominance and power over the city and the gangs that are in it. He intends to control and mold the city and its gangs into his own kingdom. He isn't looking to escape or leave, he doesn't look out and he doesn't often look at the stars or skyline. ( Outside of if he stargazes with someone. ) He looks down upon it because he intends to make the city his and make it obey his will. He surveys his kingdom with an indomitable spirit of a king.

HANMA.

Hanma is rather interesting because unlike Kazutora or Izana, he doesn't often visit rooftops. The only times we see him there are when he accompanies Kisaki ( who falls into a reason most similar to Izana but may also at times have the same escapism as Kazutora does ). In this aspect, it showcases how Hanma rarely is lost in his thoughts and his disinterest in the powerplays that go on in the city. In fact, the first time we see Hanma on a rooftop, he actively has his back turned towards the city - Hanma's rejection of the world and its ideals. Hanma does as Hanma wants regardless of what people want. When he does look at someone, its to look towards Kisaki - but that's AFTER he's already made his own personal statement. For Hanma, his lack of presence and his tendency to face AWAY from the skyline are displays of his disinterest and general apathy - as well as his rejection of restraints on the world.

[deathfavor]

Some Pirate Kazutora Headcanons

Kazutora prefers blades over guns, although he does have one gun on him most of the time. He’s known to be especially vicious with his word. But it isn’t his sword that people need to fear the most. Rather, they should fear the dagger he keeps on him. He’ll often strike lethal blows while others are preoccupied with his sword, leaving them exposed and open. 

He enjoys taking care of the exotic animals and often will do so – Valhalla’s survival rate for exotic animals whenever they trade them has dramatically increased since he started to do this 

Particularly enjoys fruits, especially oranges

Enjoys taking naps in a hammock if he's not seated on the bow of the ship or crows nest

Typically has several gold rings and necklaces on, he has a love for beautiful jewelry

Almost always has his hair in a fishtail braid or up in a bun except for the two front pieces

Often scouts out potential victims to target on the seas or rumors of treasure or riches at taverns when at port

His agility is the best on the Headless Angel ship, and in the whole Valhalla crew

Unlike a lot of the crew, he's not particularly superstitious but there are a few he's cautious on

If something needs smuggling in, it's often given to Kazutora due to his background in smuggling even before joining Valhalla

Tends to be a bit extreme on punishments if something is serious enough to evoke his intervention

[deathfavor]

Kazutora burned his Toman uniform when he got out of juvie. Along with some other things, but that went up in flames first. He didn't want anything to do with it, in the same line of how he immediately dyed his hair when he got out and repierced his ear himself (or maybe Baji did it again either one is possible).

[deathfavor]

Kazutora's respect comes purely from his own opinion and nothing else. He really doesn't give a shit about established hierarchies or reputations. He shows it openly as well. The fact Kazutora beat Hansen, from ICBM which was well respected/feared until the tiger took him down, without an established fight plus in front of all the other notorious and powerful gang leaders really is a showcase of this. It's a blatant statement of I'll fight you regardless of your status if I want to. Or you piss him off, either or.

This isn't to say Kazutora doesn't know of them. He does, at least a good majority of them. He's heard the stories while free, in juvie, all of that. He keeps a note of it. But really? It doesn't mean anything other than some fancy talk until something happens to actually have him form an opinion one way or another. Your big talk reputation doesn't mean much without him getting to see justification for it. Especially after juvie where people will have the talk but not the bite. But even then, it's respect at best. He doesn't admire any one leader and never has.

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@ofsavior said: Headcanon prompt: What would it take for Kazutora to actually find happiness in life? Are there any key components missing in his life that make him feel unfulfilled? Or is his baggage really the weight that holds him down?

Amnesia. I'm only partially kidding. His baggage really is what holds him down and I don't think he can find it in himself to let it go. He can loosen his hold, but never fully let go because especially as far as he knows, he never knew anything about Kisaki or Hanma or any of that. It's not even just everything that happened with Bloody Halloween; it's everything with his parents, its everything with spending the majority of his life in juvie / prison. Kazutora was dealt an absolutely abysmal hand in life, and he misplayed the one good thing he had. I think Kazutora will always have a hard time. Not to say he doesn't have times of being happy because he definitely has those! He can enjoy aspects of life and trips and moments and things like that. But in the broad picture, there's always sorrow and guilt and struggles that he carries with him no matter where he goes. It's not about being unfulfilled.

Even in Bonten which is one of the 'best' endings, we see how easy and wiling Kazutora is to throw himself headfirst into danger again. He's self-destructive at his core and he DOESN'T have that connection with Toman or anyone really that the others do. Other characters have each other or Mikey or Takemichi or all of the above to put their dreams and hopes into ; Kazutora never has that. He was in jail for everything that created stronger ties and memories between other characters which leaves him extremely isolated other than for Chifuyu. At fifteen he admitted in two years his information as outdated about anyone other than Baji, let alone ten years. He also doesn't have the dreams other do. There's no dream path for him - a mix of his home life situation and the fact he keeps ending up back in juvie making it seem pointless during formative years.

He struggles to find a spot where he can feel he properly fits in to a normalcy he doesn't know or understand. He doesn't have the skills or ability to connect the same way others do. He never has, but add in the trauma plus habits picked up in prison to survive and it creates a struggle for him. Like i said, he does enjoy things in life, but he can't put the baggage down.

[deathfavor]

Bad Toman Kazutora's emotions are a lot more on his sleeve compared to Bonten Kazutora's. Part of this is because that Kazutora is still involved in the same sort of criminal & trouble-making environment as when he was younger. Of the two versions, this Bad Toman is more openly similar to his younger self. He's quick to shift emotions, prone to using actions to get his point across ( like beating up Takemichi to show how Toman is now ), and openly wary of others. He has changed, he is a bit more stable and actively trying to do good for Toman, and he's not AS prone to immediate violence as his younger self. But this Kazutora is a lot easier to read in some ways because everything is so obvious. He doesn't have to hide himself in some ways, he's familiar with the lifestyle and danger of Bad Toman.

Bonten Kazutora is not as obvious. ( Albeit some things are still very obvious like his guilt. ) But this Kazutora is having to learn to mask and act like others in a 'normal' life. Hes having to learn how to be like a normal citizen. Now, at his core, a lot of things are similar. I mean, Bonten's first line we get is 'What the hell are you looking at?' which...is very Kazutora-like. But he's more quiet and reserved. Bad Toman Kazutora tends to say what he's thinking or feeling, or at least show it. It's an environment that is conductive to that a lot of the time. In some ways, Bad Toman Kazutora has it easier because everyone is still in the same sort of life. In contrast, Bonten Kazutora has a hard time because everyone else has gone into a 'normal civilian' lifestyle while he's still been in a survivor & violent environment in prison. For that, he feels a lot more isolated. He tends to keep his mouth shut and overthink, keep his thoughts to himself. He carries more guilt of the fact he's struggling and everyone's watching him struggle compared to Bad Toman where he readapts fairly quickly because it is still that violent, dangerous lifestyle. Bonten Kazutora is also more secretive in some ways, because he doesn't feel like its a safe environment to admit he's struggling, that he's still inclined towards aggression although he's better at restraining it.