#praying this makes sense to you guys

[deathfavor]

I've been contemplating this topic for a little bit, so I'm going to make an effort to explain the differences between Kazutora and Izana's sense of trust issues & abandonment. Hopefully it will make sense.

In a single sentence, I would summarize the difference as this: Kazutora's trust issues are more external while Izana's are more internal.

What does this mean? Let's look at Kazutora first.

Kazutora has, essentially, always had this mentality of wariness of others. He grew up in an environment that encouraged this sort of wariness and trust issues, and it was fed in part by his mother's repetition of the idea that is one this side or that side, right or wrong, black or white, yourself or others, etc. Kazutora keeps people at bay like a wild animal, snapping and snarling and running when they get too close. For Kazutora, he genuinely believes that everyone will become a traitor. That that is what people do. They will betray and abandon you at one point or another, in some form or another. He explictly states it as human behavior. This is why Kazutora had the idea to not let people close. He pushes them away, deals with things on his own, because he doesn't trust people.

It takes a lot to break through that. Baji is obviously the one person we see really manage it. He sticks by Kazutora when he tries to run away before Toman was ever formed. And eventually, that relentless determination leads to Kazutora finally trusting him. When Kazutora does, he does so intensely. It sets off a different set of issues in that he's afraid to lose Baji, but he does TRUST Baji. The same goes for Chifuyu in Bad Toman. ( Bonten I did not include because it may be different - we don't see much of their dynamic and it lacks a lot of the situations that i think would lead to that in Bad Toman. ) Once Kazutora trusts you, he trusts you. He lets you in. He still tends to try to downplay or hide things like any person does, but he really does open up more. If you can climb the walls of trust issues, you're welcomed by Kazutora inside the castle. He won't really doubt the trust unless you do something to explicitly make him DOUBT that trust. That's why his trust issues are more external. Kazutora won't trust you until you really, really prove to him that he should and that you mean it, but once you do, you have his trust.

Kazutora's trust then creates the abandonment issue, as we see how detrimental this is to Kazutora. His mind cannot handle that sort of situation, and it immediately reverts to self preservation. When it comes to it, Kazutora and Izana are both ones to prioritize saving themselves and their minds. Which, as we see with Kazutora, means eradicating any threat - Shinichiro, Mikey, and then for a moment, Baji.

Now let's look at Izana.

Unlike Kazutora, Izana didn't ALWAYS have the trust issues that he has now. He just didn't, and we can see it with how easily he connects to Kakucho at a young age. He also genuinely believed he promise that he gave to Emma before he was sent off to the orphanage. They began to crop up in the orphanage - plenty of research has gone to showing this is often a product of children in orphanages ( along with other issues ). It became about survival in a way. But Karen and Shinichiro were a big part of what ultimately sent his trust issues and abandonment spiraling out of control into becoming the beasts they've become.

Izana's trust issues are more internal because he will rewrite the narrative so to speak if he needs to for his own sake. Izana has always been distant and picky, but he had trust. With discovering the fact he wasn't who he thought he was, everything went wildly out of control. Izana has an extremely difficult time trusting people. He's more likely to trust abilities over people.

After what happened when he was twelve, he hates being vulnerable. To him, trust is actively a weapon. ( Kazutora, on the other hand, looks at it more as a trap than a weapon. ) Trusting someone is giving them a knife and hoping that they aren't going to stab you to death with it. Part of his loathing with trust comes into Izana's need for control. He hates not being in control, and giving someone trust means giving them some control and power to hurt you. He doesn't want to be seen as vulnerable. But with a lot of slow determination, Izana can and does start to trust. He starts to let them closer and get away with things he would hurt or kill other people for.

At the same time, fear of abandonment or betrayal still dig their talons into Izana. Izana can't fully shake the fear that he will be abandoned like Karen did to him, or how the reveal with Shinichiro left him feeling abandoned. Unlike Kazutora who trusts once you earn it, Izana can never fully give all of his trust away. It might be very tiny and easily soothed, but there's a part of him that will always fear abandonment. This can sometimes lead to Izana rewriting narratives in his head for the sake of keeping himself 'safe'. Even if part of him knows its fake & a lie he's telling himself, it helps. For example, saying Tenjiku only follows him from fear. I don't think Izana fully believes that, I think he does know there's more to it ( but he DOES think fear/reverance has some part of it ) and that they actually care. But it's easier on his mind to think that way. If they follow him from fear, they don't care, which protects him in a warped way. He can cut the attachment he feels, at least in the moment of high emotion and chaos in his head, so it doesn't hurt him. He tries to protect himself from the sharp edges of trust, which sometimes means protecting himself from the soft parts of trust as well. That's why I say his is internal. He primarily focuses on his own mental space.

I'm not sure if this all made sense or not, but I hope it can offer a bit of an insight to the difference between Kazutora & Izana's trust issues. For Kazutora, the idea of abandonment/betrayal is the active threat that drives him, while for Izana, the very act of trusting itself is the weapon he fears.

[sctumsempra]

this is so incredibly self indulgent but. hear me out

[mcybree]

bad memory anon here, I just watched the clips and uhm, yeah I think you're right. Why didn't Jimmy just go inside the desert and explain to them that Scott was coming? Why didn't Scott let Jimmy stay around for his talk with Cleo

What the fuck was that about, what did I just watch

NO LITERALLYYYYYYY sorry 3l Jimmy is psychological horror to me. the gradual loss of autonomy goes fucking insane. If I had to guess: Because Scott disapproves of basically anything that Jimmy does on his own, I think Jimmy’s gotten more accustomed to following directions over time and sometimes* has an aversion to making his own choices. So Jimmy’s given two conflicting directions and goes: oh, okay, I guess I’ll just wait here, then.

*Scott doesn’t trust Jimmy with anything, so Jimmy picks up on this and then swings between trying to prove otherwise and not really trusting himself with anything, either. My personal theory is that whether he’s stuck in proving himself mode or runs to Scott to handle things for him is dependent on how Scott has been reacting to his choices, because while whether Scott decides to give a fuck that day isn’t random, it would appear random to Jimmy because their values and priorities don’t align at all. Basically: Scott sent Jimmy away with the threat of a crossbow just prior to Jimmy waiting outside the desert border, so it makes sense that he’d be extra cautious about potentially making the wrong move. (<- Putting the bad takes tag here for this one actually. Sorry guys I’m insane etc etc)

For why Scott doesn’t let Jimmy stay for his talk with Cleo: Scott doesn’t let Jimmy do anything. Not anything with real stakes, at least; this is a political negotiation. Scott wasn’t a fan of how Jimmy handled the Dogwarts negotiations, so I assume that’s why he’s so insistent that Jimmy leave here— he thinks there’s a risk of Jimmy ruining a potential alliance. It’s funny because you can tell how much Scott wants to hit Jimmy here, but he can’t because of where he’s at, so he goes for the subtle crossbow threat instead. And typically I’d put the disclaimer here that I don’t think Scott would have actually shot Jimmy, that it wasn’t any more than a threat, but unfortunately I had a sickening revelation about what right clicking in minecraft does.

So. There’s that.

[butchford]

Bitches will be like "damn am I overexaggerating how bad the current landscape is?" And then the top posts in a character tag that's not even involved will be "this post contains filtered tags [ship]"

[compacflt]

tweet from a year ago :) <3

[dolokhoded]

i'm supposed to be studying but i have a hot take which is that could we start again please should have been an ensemble number mostly led by mary and peter's verse should've been divided to him, john and james if not more of them

[tothesolarium]

Two moods

1) queer queer queer

2) BIG METAL PROTECT TINY THING

[raspberryjellybrains]

Something I find interesting as I delve deeper into different mediums of The Sandman is the way that Dream's appearance is used as a literary device. I don't remember whether I've discussed it here or not, but throughout the comics, his outfits serve as an indicator of his outward emotions and attitude while the style of the artist is often used to depict some aspect of his internal, unspoken emotional turmoil/peace. This carries over to the audiobook, though without the graphic aspect inherent to the original medium, it manifests in an interesting way through narration and further solidifies this interpretation of significance.

I had to start on Volume II for *cough* reasons, and the usage of detail is quite similar to other works by Gaiman, in that they are only included where it is important. He doesn't hit you over the head with scenery at every chance, it's carefully slotted into the scene at the points where it is most necessary and poignant, with the depth of these descriptions being directly tied to the importance that you, the listener, understand. We only hear that the random park is peaceful in the soundscaping because the park itself serves no purpose beyond that, but we get a couple paragraphs of description of Hell because it is vitally important we understand the scale and intensity of the horrors found there; setting is only acknowledged when it contributes to the narrative. This is echoed in The Sandman: Annotated, where we get some notes in the script regarding artistic choices—many of which are gestural, some of which are very detailed so that the artist may understand from this where their (and by extension the reader's) attentions must be drawn, which provides a sort of visual pacing.

To draw my point in a bit, Dream's castle follows this rule as an extension of his will and selfhood. It changes often to reflect what facet of himself he wants to convey outward most directly; appearing first as a rather low set, art nouveau affair with perhaps a silly bit of phallic imagery, then a gothic castle atop a mountain, most clearly establishing things when he puts it at the needlepoint top of a physically impossible peak covered in turrets and rooflines which jab into the air forbiddingly during Season of Mists as he contemplates the Key. When Dream is settled, the Dreaming is as well, when he is tumultuous, such follows. We don't get blow by blow descriptions, only when it is necessary.

Now that the visual language has been established and connected (insofar as I really can with the allotted mental energy for a tumblr post, however much of a passion project this may be, I am tired), it can be connected to Dream himself. His character design is very intentional, it reflects the post-punk, modernist take on its themes through his incredibly goth Look—he has the big, messy hair and impossibly white skin, dark clothes and dramatic fashion sensibilities—but beyond that, it reflects what feeling we are supposed to get from him. Morpheus' sense of self is ridiculously deeply tied to expectaction and perception of others, his entire personhood is based on what they expect. Despite this, to his infinite chagrin it seems, he has a personal identity sitting at his core that we see in his "natural" versus "put on" appearance (for lack of better terms): he's quiet and withdrawn but highly passionate and caring with all of the expected emotional regulation issues we would expect of someone with these temperaments they desperately repress; What he can control (clothes and hair) are utilized similarly to the castle, conveying his outward intention—think his driving outfit in Brief Lives versus his family dinner outfit in Season of Mists versus his final outfit in the Kindly Ones—where the things he cannot consciously seem to control are disguised by him, but utilized by art or narration to make a statement on his surroundings and feelings—think again of those outfits, of what his behavior means through that lens, what is conveyed through detail and silhouette.

What these more consistent physical attributes say is quite interesting, and quite revealing: Dream is not that scary. Sure his eyes will make you feel like you've stared down the cosmos and felt god touch your soul, but beyond that? Really? He's just a dude. A beautiful and strange one, but really nothing especially imposing. He's tall, but that effect is sort of diminished by his slight build. His face is angular and ethereal, but often careworn or haggard as well in a way I would compare to a very old and very poorly maintained stone statue. What this means to me is that Dream was never meant to be this frightening and imposing figure, that this was a choice made by the active individual we know exists because he is the one telling us about this all! A choice against his own nature that is concealed as often, swiftly, and mistakenly as his internal nature. This is, to conclude my point, supported by where these aspect of his appearance are given weight through art and narration. We only hear about his stature when he's sad or scared, only hear about his inhumanly pale skin when faced against the more beautiful aspects of personhood or mortality, only hear about his eyes when he uses them to scare or comfort.

These details of appearance are as woven into the narrative as any plot point, and used as any theme; which makes sense, he is the Prince of Stories afterall.

[defensivelee]

ok here's why Bentinck is my favorite Six Lives OC beyond anyone else. idk where this came from but i've had so much thoughts about him and i cannot keep them in.

cw: csa, objectification, religious cults, indoctrination

there's just something about that boy in Dona Dona... he's fucking tragic. he wants to be so loyal, and he has so much love to give, but because of this literal cult he was born into, he has nowhere to channel that into except for this equivalent of a religious far-right extremist group. he was so ready to obey and learn! it's just the meanest fucking trick of the universe that he had to be born... here.

and that made him a perfect candidate to be an Ally of the Devils of Orange-Nassau. it was scary for him, to be told as a goddamn ten year old that 1) Allies are less than all life on earth, for ever daring to standing in the way of the true rulers; the Overlifers, 2) it is morally okay to use and objectify Allies as the Overlifers wish! and 3) that all Allies have to die in order for the Overlifers to rule. but fuck man he was so excited to serve William's father. he was going to be given so much power and abilities and he would use it all to help forward this awful cause! but it's just evil, yknow? telling a child that they're basically worthless unless they gift their power to these extremists. but he thinks it's the most honorable thing he could have been chosen for.... to live and die for these people, for William.

he does stop believing that he will die later on, for one reason or the other, but man. everything else. he's just a kid. and he's already being groomed to believe that sexual assault is not something he has the right to complain about. i mean, you just take the kiss from William's father-- it was nothing to that man, ofc, he wasn't even necessarily attracted to Hans. it was reminding that boy of his position, reminding William of his position, nothing else. and Hans was so happy at the time, he thought it was so great... agrghghh it's heartbreaking. it only took a kiss. and now he's an adult, and while he thinks he's just fine with it... does he always say yes to William? yes, but could he say no if he wanted to? you could not even begin to explain to him why this is sexual exploitation. it was the fucking kiss. it sickens him that he was so proud of it then, and it only serves to make him more certain that this is where he belongs, and he deserves all the treatment he gets.

i love William here, but i think everything in this AU is just so fucking cruel to Bentinck. there's no good way about it. he loves William so much, and to learn why this is all wrong and ultimately breaking away from the Devils of Orange-Nassau means betraying William. he could never get himself to do that. but then, if he stays... Anne's right! he's just doomed to die! William's so-called destiny is a very rough thing here, and he's suffered much for it, but yknow what at least he'll fucking get SOMETHING: the world, if all succeeds. Bentinck has to die for William to get there. because he happened to be the one that William's father chose, the most beautiful boy who just had to be raised by this world of violence. because William came to love him. it's like... where do you even go fro m there.

what a thing to subject your best friend to. idk how William can live without loathing himself... but then, ig he does live like that a lot of the time.

for however much i love whumping Bentinck, he's the one character here who i think deserves, more than a beating... JUST SOME FUCKING PEACE MAN. i want Anne to hold him :( i want him to choose who he wants to be :(

[cressida-cowper]

every time i go to take these goddamn pills i forget how to swallow what is UP with that .

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

[salsflore]

going 2 sleeepppp... its not even 11 pm yet but ueueue i have to go out tomorrow (bring my cat to the vet + mom wants to take me to the clinic after going to the church) ueue

[hellbatschilt]

Hellbat in the new casting gear lol

[an-annyeoing-writer]

SCREAMS

[homoeroticvillain]

i... need some less cute hobbies

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

the thing is. i was always aware of destiel. you arent gay on the internet and havent heard of destiel. and i went into watching spn being ready for them to not be that gay for each other i was ready for destiel to just be something the fandom has made. but they are actually gay as hell. like theyre really gay. if youve never seen spn you need to take the gayness you imagine and triple it. theyre actually in love. like from the beginning. and it makes me full of rage (homosexually)