#‘because you’ve tried so hard to get here and surely you must belong here because you’re so academically highly-achieving’

[otaku553]

Procrastination doodles of sabo for the king sabo au :)

[brighteststar707]

Daydreams

I’ve been trying to get used to writing again, so I thought I’d be self-indulgent and write about kissing my number one boy.

✦ Saeyoung x Reader (set during his route)

✦ Words: 1607

✦  Genre: Fluff

Here’s the thing: Seven really wants to kiss you.

Here’s the problem: he’s stuck in his dungeon of an office, a safe (but frustrating) distance away. Here’s another problem: he isn’t supposed to be kissing anyone, or even thinking about kissing anyone. As Vanderwood has reminded him several times, attachments are dangerous.

Even so, he wants to kiss you when you shamelessly flirt with him in the chatrooms and join in on his ridiculous pranks. He wonders what your smile would feel like pressed against his lips. It’s a good thing you can’t see how hard you make him blush.

Once or twice, you’ve called him up late at night and, in a tone more serious than he’s ever heard from you, told him that you hoped he was taking care of himself. How was he supposed to say that you’re in more danger than you think (thanks to him) and that he’d work himself to the point of exhaustion rather than see you get hurt?

He doesn’t. He does tell you a joke about how he’s the invincible God Seven, but even over the phone he can tell that you’re not convinced. When he hangs up, he rubs his aching eyes and wonders if you’d hold him if he asked nicely. If you’d kiss his temples and tell him that this headache, this stress, this exhaustion will pass.

It gets worse once he starts obsessively watching the cameras. He stares at his screen so intensely that he starts to see it behind his eyelids when he closes his eyes. It’s all worth it, though, for the glimpses he catches of you when you leave the apartment. Surely, you must know that he’s always watching for you, because you often take the time to wave at the camera before you go. A little sign, just for him. It gives him butterflies every time you do it.

It’s a problem. He is supposed to be focusing on protecting you, and instead he’s fantasizing about what it would be like to be in that apartment with you. No hacking, no bomb, no threats. He’d be the Seven you like, not the liar Luciel who keeps nasty secrets. You’d still talk to him the way you do now, maybe with more cheeky flirting and less concern. 

Instead of obsessively watching the camera footage for the off chance that he’d get to see you for a second, he’d be there, sharing space with you. Maybe you’d mention that you’re out of groceries, that you needed to go out for more. And instead of staring at the screen intensely like he does, he’d walk you to the door.

Maybe, just maybe, he’d kiss you goodbye. He’d cup your face between his hands (you wouldn’t mind that the skin on his palms was callused), and gently bring you close to him. You’d smile at him, that smile he has only managed to see once or twice so far but has imprinted in his memory. And then, he’d kiss you.

It’s all very distracting. And embarrassing when Vanderwood comes back into his study and asks him why he’s so red.

Hey, even agents can dream. 

✦✧✦✧ 

  It’s not like he has never kissed anybody before. From the beginning the agency had made it pretty clear that he was to use all the tools at his disposal in order to achieve his goals. It didn’t take him long to realize they meant his body, too.

He could probably count all the kisses he has had, if he tried. But those kisses were different from what he pictures when he thinks of you. They were stolen in dark, hazy rooms, his mind was always elsewhere, trying to get to the next step of the plan. Most of those memories don’t feel like they belong to him at all, that’s how far he has dissociated himself from them.

So, really, it doesn’t matter how many people he has kissed. Nothing has ever felt like this before. His fantasies about kissing you leave him feeling hot and fuzzy. He fixates on every detail, lingers in the moment and wonders if you feel the same way. He isn’t sure what he wants the answer to be. 

  ✦✧✦✧

It’s funny how quickly things can change.

A week ago, Seven was sitting in the safe solitude of his office. He was in his element, protecting you the best way he knew how, and fully in denial of how quickly his feelings for you were growing.

It was easy, back then, to dream up fairy tales, knowing full well just how ridiculous they were. The thought of sharing the apartment with you was outlandish enough, let alone the idea of the two of you kissing. It was all just harmless daydreaming.

Turns out, those feelings were a lot more real than he had let himself believe. You were no longer an image on a screen, a voice through a phone, but a living, breathing person. You had cute little habits he never could have guessed at before, and you were frustratingly fixated on getting close to him.

Oh, and now you’re close. So impossibly close. With your arms resting on his shoulders, hands fiddling with the hair at the base of his neck, looking at him with such certainty in your eyes.

And oh, he really wants to kiss you.  

The strange sequence of events that led up to this point is one he still can’t piece together fully. Despite everything he said and did over the past few days, you still treated him with the same kindness you had always shown him. You somehow still want him, somehow seem to like him as much as he likes you.

His own hands rest uselessly by his sides, caught somewhere between the overwhelming need for you and the fear of what will happen if he gives in.

In all his fantasies, he was perfectly in control. His head was clear, his every movement intentional. He was the one holding you close, giving you that look you’re giving him now. However, he had failed to consider the overwhelming sensations that would cloud his head in the moment itself. The scent of you surrounding him completely, the intensity of your eyes studying his face, the burning in his cheeks.

The world is shifting on its axis, and it’s a wonder he’s still standing upright. And he hasn’t even kissed you yet.

It’s in the way you play with his hair, so at ease, even in a moment like this. He isn’t sure if anyone has ever touched him like this. It’s making his stomach do somersaults and his thoughts run wild. He can’t focus on everything at once, and his gaze drops to your lips.

You smile.

That’s what does it. That smile, the one he has only seen a few times, and seen only directed at him over a pixelated CCTV feed. It breaks through the buzzing in his head and the pounding of his heart and gives him the push he has been looking for.

He cups your face in his hands (you don’t seem to mind the roughness of his palms) and pulls your face towards his. The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes is your smile.

The first kiss is something soft, experimental, your lips just moulded together. A taste.

Against his lips, he feels you hum softly. That’s all it takes for his remaining hesitancy to melt away.

Instead, it is replaced with a sense of urgency so intense that he can feel it in the back of his throat. All the fear, the loneliness, the desperation of the past few days catches up to him and he needs to make up for all the time he has lost, right now.

His hands move to the back of your head, and he pulls your face back towards him. You crash together again, this time all notions of gentleness forgotten. He kisses you hard and you nip at his lower lip until he opens for you. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders if you haven’t been harbouring any fantasies of your own. Then, he feels you tug at his hair and he doesn’t think anything at all.

Where the first kiss was soft, this one is hungry. He cannot have you close enough, cannot catch his breath, cannot think about anything but you you you. His hands drop down to your waist to pull your bodies flush together. After enduring several days of self-imposed distance from each other, he relishes the feeling of you under his hands.  

When you break apart, you keep your arms around him. He’s glad. He isn’t sure what will happen if you let go of him now. You smooth out his hair where you tugged at it before, and he shivers. His hands linger on your hips, fingertips still buzzing with the thrill of touching you. Nothing feels quite real, like the colours are too bright and his skin is too sensitive to your touch.

It must show on his face, because your expression goes from giddy to concerned. “Are you alright, Seven? Was that okay?”

“Okay… Hah…” He has apparently also forgotten how to speak. There is a piece of hair that he must have messed up earlier, and he reaches out to fix it. His brain usually doesn’t have any trouble keeping up, but today it feels like he is wading through deep water, like everything takes more effort than it should. He takes a breath, allows his heart a moment to slow down.

“It’s like... I’m dreaming.”

[bellamyblake]

The world hurts less when I'm by your side

“Want to tell me where you got all this money to pay for this?”

“Got a loan.”

“I assume it was big enough to cover all of those expenses and your medications, right?” Bellamy nods “You got nothing left but your pension, do you? And you don’t get that again till next month.”

“Yes.”

“What will you do now?” Bellamy shrugs “Don’t tell me you plan on going back to that cold house and sleeping in it? How long has it been since you’ve been cut off.”

“Five days or so, but I’ve been sleeping at Clarke's for the past two.” 

“I’m guessing considering she’s not here now, that this won’t be possible at the moment?” he shakes his head and Deucette nods “Okay, then you’ll sleep in our shelter until you can go back home.” Bellamy blushes at that and keeps staring down.

It was exactly what he has been thinking of asking but didn’t really have the guts to. The church had a small shelter with just twenty rooms, providing food and medical help that mostly came from the sisters serving in it and the community.

It wasn’t like the other ones in town probably because it wasn’t as big and it took mostly woman with children or men like Bellamy. He has known of it before because he has ended up there as a kid with his mom before Octavia was born and then a few times after. When he joined the Army, he put aside some money as donation to help the church keep up with it and help others like him and his family. 

“I... “ he swallows hard and is about to say that he can’t do that-the memories of his childhood came flooding right in.

He was just three and a half, crying in his mom’s arms from hunger while she tried to soothe him by rubbing his back. She had been nursing him till he was almost three but then things got worse, his dad died, she lost her job and had no way of taking care of him, so they both ended up in a small room on the second floor huddled in with nothing but a bag of their belongings.

Just like now, the house was cut off from any electricity or water-it was impossible to live in it, so Aurora was forced to come here. It was vague but he remembered the Father stroking his head back then as he cried and whimpered in his mom’s arms. He wouldn’t stop till they gave him some food, warm milk too-he thinks he was sick back then as well, at least he remembers coughing as much and his mom wrapping him in blankets. He recalls that he fell asleep after she fed him and finally felt warm.

Then later when he was older, at about eight or nine with O just a baby, the same thing happened only now he had a much clearer memory of it. He was still as hungry and wanted to cry from it but he forced himself not to-he had his sister to take care of now, his mom to support in this hell. He was quiet, really quiet, in fact he can’t remember the last time he spoke out real words.

He wasn’t sure his mom noticed that he either shook his head or squeezed her hand, she had been too preoccupied worrying about nursing a baby, finding shelter and gettng a new job. It was the same father then who noticed Bellamy wasn’t talking. He had found him reading the children’s version of the Bible in one of the pews, nose buried in the pages when he had sat by his side and rubbed his back soothingly. 

“You okay, son?” he had asked him then and Bellamy nodded but it probably didn’t come out as too convincing. “Did you get the chance to sleep? Eat some?” Bellamy shrugged, again without offering a clear answer. “Must be hard falling with a little baby there, huh?” Bellamy shook his head then. 

The priest had raised an eyebrow then, realizing that something’s not right with the boy but not having a true way of knowing what it was.

“Can you show me what passage you’re reading?” he asked next and Bellamy pointed up at the top of the left page “Ah, Jacob and his brothers, I like this one. Would you read it to me?”

Bellamy shook his head and kept looking down at his Bible. The priest, an elderly but very kind man with ginger hair and beard, reached out and touched his shoulder. Bellamy had jumped at the movement and bit his lip, cradling it away from the man and closer to his stomach.

“Do you hurt, son?” he had asked and Bellamy shook his head but it was clear he was in pain. They all knew the real reason why his mom ended up back here wasn’t only because of the lack of money but because the man she was living with, Octavia’s father, had abused her before he finally took off, so he wouldn’t be caught by the local police.

He had hit Bellamy too. Aurora didn’t always know about it. It was in the rare moments at night when he came into their room and would pester Bellamy and his baby sister, asking him why he can’t keep the baby quiet and tossing him around. His mom was usually at work or passed out in the bedroom. It was up to him to feed O her bottle and keep her safe and quiet.

Sometimes, though, no matter what he did, she still cried. That’s when he appeared. 

Other times Aurora was away again but he was home and he’d ask for a beer. Bellamy would bring it over and try to leave as fast as he could but the guy would start torturing him, kick him around, search his pockets for money all while smoking or sniffling something white from his hand. 

Last time he hurt him was just a few days before he left. Octavia was crying in her crib. She was teething and Bellamy knew she needed medicine to help bring her fever down but they had none, so he wet a cloth and put it in her mouth, trying to soothe her gums or offered his own fingers to chew on. He had come in during one of her raging fits and beat Bellamy up.

He felt worse since then but he had no way of telling his mom. He never would. 

Full chapter can be found HERE!

[bittersweetimaginings]

Hi! Can you do what it would be like to date Queen Maeve (she/her pronouns please)

General Dating HC! • Queen Maeve

⚠️Content warning: none, I think?

*These characters do not belong to me, all rights to their respective owners, this is just a piece of entertainment by and for fans.

Summary: Title is really self-explanatory.

Reader’s pronouns: She/Her

Keys: Y/N = Your Name. In case you’ve forgotten: Margaret “Maggie” Shaw is the real name of Queen Maeve in the series.

Author's note: If you want to send your own request, please check the Disclaimer & Rules post and the MASTERLIST post to see more content and which characters are available

I must say, I do believe the relationship with Maeve might change slightly in certain aspects if you're either a regular human or a supe (and even if you’re a supe, the dynamic might also change depending on your powers), but because it wasn’t specified here if Reader is either human or supe, I made this HC as general as possible and only including aspects I think would remain the same in either situation.

If you met the Maeve who's been in the seven for a long time, a relationship is something she's avoiding rather than looking; this is likely because of either Vought, Homelander or both: Vought would be quick to find a way to capitalize on the relationship so they can pinkwash their image as much as capitalisticly possible, it's honestly disgusting. As for Homelander, he'll be furious; Losing is something he not only hates but something that threatens his fragile ego and the already distorted perception he has of himself; he still "loves" Maeve (in his own, very fucked up way) and he's been trying for a long time to rekindle their relationship, you forming a relationship with Maeve means he has lost one of the very few things people he cares about and therefore he might view you as a wall preventing him to reach his objective, so he'll make sure to break you.

If you met her before she joined the seven, she might be more lenient on the idea of beginning a relationship with you (especially if the two of you already had one) but she'll continue to push you away numerous times.

Maeve has shut down everyone she cares about, that way Vought nor Homelander can harm them and will make it much easier for her to give up her life if one day she has to fight against Homelander to take him down.

That's why, you're most likely the one to pursue the relationship in the first place.

Even when she starts catching feelings, she'll try her best to appear as if she either doesn't like you or doesn't care about you, especially if Homelander is near.

Which sometimes can be quite hard on you, because she might treat you so bad and cold-heartedly and might hurt your feelings in more ways than she ever expected or wanted.

But as the two of you inevitably get closer and share more and more small but beautiful moments, her feelings eventually start to catch up to her and she begins to open up slowly.

Once she does it might surprise you how vulnerable and sensitive Maeve actually is.

She pretends not to, but Maeve is the one who cares the most about everyone around her and it's filled with guilt and sadness for the ones she was unable to save.

And for that very reason, she panics when the realization of how closer you two have grown starts to dawn on her and your relationship might take two steps back before moving forward as Maeve tries to push you away once again.

Though this time around you're able to figure out how to get past that act of hers more easily.

After that I believe she'll start to be more honest with herself and you about her own feelings and stop putting so much of a front.

She'll treat you much more softly and tenderly than ever before and might allow herself to give in and give you the first kiss.

She smiles at you all the time, especially when she observes the little quirky things you do when you think no one is looking.

Maeve loves being of help to you, so whatever you need she'll make sure to provide one way or another.

One thing that doesn't change, is how protective she is of you, always making sure not Homelander or Vought know about or can get to you, and this might stir many conflicts in your relationship but over time you both might be able to handle it with more ease.

Maeve is a very supportive partner and loves listening and being involved in whatever you're passionate about or the goals you want to pursue, even if she doesn't necessarily understand them completely.

You're the one person in her life that calls her by her real name "Margaret" "Maggie" "Margo" whatever variant you choose, she's happy to hear her name coming from you, it's been a long time since someone has called her that and it's surprised by the feeling of comfort it gives her; since in many ways the alias of "Queen Maeve" has turned in her own prison.

I strongly believe Maggie is the little spoon in cuddle sessions; she always has to be the strong one in every other situation in her life, she really does enjoy the moments of vulnerability she shares with you.

Both find it funny that she can probably punch a building down but she appears as if made of paper in your arms, adorable.

She might struggle with remembering things like dates, anniversaries, birthdays, etc; she has a lot on her mind but she'll apologize and make it up to you, don't worry.

I also very much believe Maggie to be a foodie (notice most of her scenes with Elena there's some talk about food? Idk if it was intentional or not, but I like to believe that this is because Maeve really likes food and is a comfort for her on hard times).

She adores taking you out for dinner in all kinds of restaurants, exploring new foods and flavors is just one of her favorite things, plus she gets to watch your reactions when trying them out.

She knows all the best places in town to eat.

If by any chance you know how to cook and you're good at it, Maggie might just consider to slap a ring on your finger right then and there istg.

Overall Maggie, although difficult at first, I believe she'll make for a great partner once she opens up to you; she still has a lot of issues to work through, but she'll definitely try to be a better person not only for you and your relationship, but because deep down, I believe she also wants to genuinely be a hero her younger-more-hopeful self would be proud of.

[slowlyhardgoatee]

‘Wake up, faggot.’

I swam up out of the darkness, back to full consciousness. My head was splitting. I had no idea how long I’d been out. I tried to turn my head and felt something around my neck. I reached up and felt a light but strong steel collar. My hands, I realised, were also handcuffed.

‘You starting to get it now, pig boy?’ The voice belonged to a gruff-looking older guy, who stood in front of me with no shirt on, smirking down at me. ‘You ain’t going anywhere. You’ve been sold. No one knows where you are, and me and that Berkeley guy went through your pockets and divided up all your stuff between us. Burnt your clothes, destroyed and wiped your phone, and drained your bank accounts dry.’

I gazed at him in horror.

‘Hell,’ he said, adjusting his package and making sure I could see, ‘I even fucked a load up you while you were passed out. And let me tell you, faggot, you’ve got one accommodating cunt. No resistance when you’re passed out, you see. You took my thick cock to the fucking root on every thrust.’

Despite my situation, despite the collar and cuffs and my apparent destitution, his description of what he’d done to me while I was unconscious got me hard. He laughed at my erection. 

‘What do you think you’re gonna do with that thing, eh? You wanna jerk off?’

I nodded, and found my voice finally. ‘Yes please, Sir.’

‘Well, tough shit, faggot. You need my permission to even touch your pathetic excuse for a cock, and you won’t be getting it this side of the turn of the century, boy. The only reason your hands are cuffed in front of you, rather than behind your back, is because you’ll be playing with my nipples while I rape your faggot throat. But that’s all. You’re a faggot pig boy. You exist to be a slave for real men. There is no reason why you should ever need to touch your own cock again, boy. Now, sure, there’s a chance you might cum hands-free while I or anyone else is fucking you, and I guess there’s not really much we can do about that. But we won’t be acknowledging it. We won’t be slowing down, or stopping for you to catch your breath. We will be entirely ignoring the fact that you’ve cum. And we certainly won’t be helping you clean that shit up. In fact, if any of us get even a drop of your dirty faggot cream on us, you’ll be booted in the balls until you throw up, faggot. And once you’ve thrown up, the first phrase out of your pig mouth will be ‘Thank you, SIR.’ Is that crystal fucking clear, boy?’ 

I nodded. ‘Thank you, Sir.’ 

‘Good pig. Now, my cock’s obviously been up your twat, but I haven’t sampled your throat yet, boy. I also haven’t cleaned my cock off since fucking you, either. So let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we? Open wide and suck me, slut.’

‘But I thought-‘ I began, and instantly received a hard slap. 

‘You must be mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck what you think about anything, cunt boy. The only reason I haven’t had a medical professional come in here and sever your vocal cords is because nothing turns me on more than a faggot begging me to stop while I’m raping him. So, again. Get my dick in your fucking mouth, faggot. Suck it nice and slow and deep. Lick all your pussy juice off my cock. And remember where your hands belong while you’re doing it. If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you remain conscious when I breed your cunt later. Again.’

‘Yes, Sir,’ I said. ‘Thank you, Sir.’ 

He took hold of my hands, and placed one on each of his nipples. Then he slid his bare cock into my mouth, and then forcefully rammed it into my throat. I gagged instantly. 

‘Yeah, fucking gag on it, boy,’ he said, laughing at me again. ‘I’m gonna train your cunt throat to take every inch of me. This time next week you’ll be a professional cock eater. You’re gonna go to sleep every night with the taste of my spunk in your fucking throat.’

I moaned as he thrusted deeper. 

‘Fuck that’s a sweet and talented mouth, faggot. I can’t wait to start passing you around and charging complete strangers to fuck you. And the less attractive you find them, the better, as far as I’m concerned. You are nothing but a public cunt, and you’ll have absolutely no input as to who gets to use you. Now hold still, boy, and tug on them fucking nipples for me. Sir’s gonna dump his fucking load. Fucking yeah… fuuuucking yeeeeaaaahhh, swallow the fucking lot, you CUNT.’ 

He creamed, grunting loudly as I gratefully swallowed every drop. I wanted to be upset at my new situation, but deep down I knew this was where I belonged, what I needed to be. A cum dump. A pig. A slave. No free will, and no thoughts beyond servicing Sir’s meat. 

As his cock came out of my mouth, I fell to all fours and bowed my head. ‘Thank you for putting this collared faggot in its place, SIR. I hope I can prove worthy of Your attention. I am nothing but a slave. Please, PLEASE treat me like one. Like the cum pig I am, Sir. I promise, I won’t let You down.’ 

‘Good boy,’ he said, and stroked my hair. ‘And you know what’ll happen if you do, don’t you, pig? You’ll beg me to boot your fucking balls off for you.’ 

‘YES, SIR!’ I shout. 

‘Welcome home, faggot. Right where you fucking belong.’ 

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

“ms. eun-ji, ms. lola, it’s so good to see you” says yerin who met up with your mother and her friend at the airport. yerin helps them with their belongings before they’re off to the hospital where you’ve been in surgery for over 10 hours. once they arrive, they check in for you and wait for a nurse or doctor to inform them about your condition. “where’s jungkook?” asks your mother and just his name alone is enough to piss yerin off. the coward ran away instead of dealing with the consequences of his actions and she’s hoping he’ll stay as far away from you as possible.

after three more hours of waiting, a nurse walks up to yerin, eun-ji, and lola to update them about you condition. your mother is panicking, worried sick that you may not have survived and so is yerin. lola tries to comfort the both of them but she is nervous too. you have so much life to live and your mother will never forgive herself for allowing you to put yourself in a crossfire despite knowing the consequences of going back.

please, God let her be okay…she prays.

“you all are y/n l/n’s family, correct?” asks the nurse and they nod.

“unfortunately, y/n is in a comatose and is not guaranteed to live due to the severity of the gunshot wounds. the one that was in her abdomen was able to successfully be removed but the second bullet went through her chest which grazed her heart. the cardiac area is very sensitive and was the hardest to repair. there was a lot of internal bleeding within her chest cavity which filled her lungs so she only has a 60% chance of living”

your mother nearly drops to the floor hearing the unfortunate news. first your father and now you. she’s been in this predicament before with your father and it was hard for her to move on. if you leave this earth, she’s not sure she’ll recover. her only daughter, her hard working, caring daughter. who is to blame for such an unfortunate turn of events?

another week later, jeon jaekuk has came back from his business trip. he received word of your comatose and he’s more than happy to celebrate your inevitable demise. jungkook hasn’t been turning up at the company and he’s sure his son is crying himself to sleep every night because of it. jaekuk tried, he really did but what is he supposed to do with the inevitable?

“now where is my good-for-nothing son?”

He wants to die, but he cannot, not yet at least. He is so ashamed because he’s the reason you’re in that hospital bed, His father is the most cunning and evil man on this planet.

Jungkook is still wrapped up in his bed, unable to stop crying. Who knows if you’ll survive? And what if you don’t? Even killing himself won’t be enough. He’s got his phone in his hands as he stares at your pictures.

“Y-Yn… Princess please come back..” he whispers crying uncontrollably. How is he supposed to go to the hospital and face your mother and yerin? And most importantly, how is he supposed to face you? It was so hard for him to see you like that. He’s not sure if he’s strong enough to see you.

All of your family and friends must be thinking that he is such a coward, and that’s true he is. “I’m s-so sorry yn..” his head hurts, and his body is burning from the fever due to all the crying and lack of sleep or food.

He looks like shit and he is feeling like shit.

He is so busy sobbing into your pillow when you used to live here but then his crying session is interrupted by a call. His phone is ringing and it hurts his head.

He reluctantly picks up the call when he sees that it’s the spy. “What is it?” he groans into the phone. “Sir… Mr Jeon has come back to Korea this morning… and currently he’s staying at the Jeon Residence..”

His eyes are wide, and he feels adrenaline rush through his veins, as soon as he hears that news

“Really??? Thank you…. I’ll take it from here now.”

Now, he knows what to do. Jungkook gets up from his bed and takes out his licensed gun. He stares at it for a good five minutes and then he closes his eyes and remembers your face.

It’s time for revenge. He thinks to himself before taking his car keys and he goes straight to his childhood home.

It’s time for him to avenge his brother, his sister-in-law and their unborn child, his mother and most importantly you

His father has ruined a lot of lives.

And he is sure that you wouldn’t want to see him after this, even if you manage to recover.. because who would want to be with the person who are the reason they almost died?

He keeps on driving he thinks about you. And how much he misses you and how much he wishes that he was the one who was at the receiving end and not you.

He’s still lost in his thoughts when he realizes that he is where he needs to be.

The security guards immediately recognize him so they don’t search him and open the gates. Jungkook drives straight in, and as soon as he parks his car, he storms inside.

Jungkook doesn’t spare a glance to the bodyguards that are standing by and goes in.

“You MOTHERFUCKER!!!” He screams, looking everywhere for his father, but he’s not present in the lounge, Jungkook immediately thinks to himself where he could be.

And then he remembers that of course he would be in the home bar. So he grabs the gun and storms inside. “Dear son... welcome home.”

Jungkook glares at the man infront of him. His head is pulsing and he clenches his jaw. He’s sitting there with a knowing smirk and a glass of vodka in his hand.

He’s pointing the gun straight at him, he sets his aim, aiming for his chest.

“She is on the verge of dying because of you so now you have to pay the price! YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE, FATHER!” His jaw is clenched as he puts his hand on the trigger.

He doesn’t hesitate to even think for a moment before he pulls the trigger. “DIE.”

And four gunshots are heard, the sound echoing through the walls. 

[electricbluebutterflies]

something beautiful

The more I write pre-series Marc/Layla the more questions I have about the dynamic and the more I admire exactly how much Layla is implied to put up with... also they’re cute and I love quiet domestic moments, SO. PG-ish and also on ao3.

Prompt - kiss under a full moon (as always and eternally thank you @apple-grass-and-smiles)

She adapts, in her way. Reclaims what she can how she can. Tries.

There is no helpful waiting-room pamphlet on how to deal when your Person has supernatural obligations – not that Layla would read it even if there were, but it would be nice to at least glance at the cover and know that for once in her little life she is not as alone as she feels. That’s the thing of it, really. There has never been an easy place for her, never a narrative she fits, never other people who get her, never anything more than acquaintances that balance on a sharp edge, and then she goes and lets herself get tangled up with someone and… of course there’s a catch, because it’s her, because she’s pretty sure she can’t have nice things and-

In the grand scheme of things, she reminds herself, this is all both weird as hell and not anything worth ruining a relationship over. Maybe, someday, she will get over the fantastically bad timing under which she found out – it has been over a year now, and more time will pass, and her frustration will fade. Someday it will be alright. Right now it is not, and right now she is still trying.

She wonders sometimes how other people do it – she can’t help but see the news stories every once in a while and wonder if the bodies in fancy suits and armor have anyone back home waiting and worrying for them. What must it be like to do this on a larger scale, to have the whole world aware of what your lover can do? At least her own situation is quiet enough, at least it’s more likely she herself will end up in the eye for something gone wrong and oh isn’t that a frightening thought sometimes, at least-

She feels so alone right now, standing on the fire escape of this apartment that is not quite home yet but will hopefully become something like it if she ever feels able to put down roots, if they both get there, if-

She hears the door behind her and turns her head and oh this is the part she never prepared for back when she thought the loneliness would take a different form, the familiarity of having someone else around and wanting them there. The vulnerability of a heart in human form, snatching days at a time when they can, when their respective lives are both quiet and how rare that is and how hard they have to fight for it and-

“You’ve been out here a bit.”

She has, perhaps. It’s a comfortable night and a decent view and maybe the last of either of those she’ll get for a while, she’s been waiting a few days for a phone call that will send her off again and-

“I’m okay,” she says, because she has to be, because she can never be the difficult one. She has never had that chance, really, and she will not start now, she will not complicate their balance, she will not-

Instead of words Marc drifts closer and reaches for her hand and for a moment, for one precious heartbeat of a moment she can almost forget how rare these moments even are. They are comfortable in quiet – this is what she gets for falling in love with a man who hides his heart, she thinks, this love that is expressed not with words but with presence, with the unspoken understanding that this is where they both want to be right now. Together, safe, outside world at bay and respective phones left inside and right now no idea how long anything lasts and-

She reclaims what she can, she reminds herself as her husband’s fingers trace the symbols on her bracelet. There are probably a few different ways of handling their delicate situation and Layla has somehow chosen all of them, directing her anger where it belongs and not at her partner and trying to turn as much of this as she can into something beautiful. She can carry as much of that weight as he’ll let her, as little as that is, and find what she can in it, and-

Moon phases on her wrists in delicate cheap mystery metal, beautiful full moon above, there is no easy narrative for this side of her life and she will make her own.

She turns her head and takes a kiss and it’s one of the most cliché things she’s ever done she’s pretty sure, and maybe it’s a little desperate and maybe she doesn’t care and-

This is the part she likes, when she can feel her husband smiling against her skin and her eyes are closed and she remembers that she chose him because he made her feel safe and he still does despite everything she now knows and she wonders if those other people out there waiting up at home for other people doing big brave things have any idea what this part feels like.

“I’m okay,” she says again as quiet as she can, and she really does mean it. “Just want quiet while I can get it.”

“Tomorrow, huh?”

“Hopefully. If nothing else falls through.”

Best-case scenario, they won’t see each other for a month; more likely, if he takes some contract while she’s gone and she knows he probably will, it could be more like six. Technology is a beautiful thing and distance is survivable, but there is a part of her fragile heart that hates this and why couldn’t she have fallen for some nice boy with a stable normal life and-

Right. Because she herself doesn’t know how to do stable and normal, and… it’s easier this way. Somehow, complicated as it is, this is still easier.

Layla takes another kiss, and above all else and as much as she wishes things were different this is still what she wants. Always, always what she wants.

“Wake me up first?”

“Of course.”

[x-lulu]

quotes from different kdrama’s I’ve seen over the years part I

nevertheless

happiness is like a butterfly. when pursued, is always beyond our grasps, but if you sit down quietly may alight upon you

you know what I regret the most? not knowing my own feelings. no, pretending not to know

some things just work out suddenly. even when you think theres no hope

you’re beautiful

you two twinkle so brightly, it’s beautiful. as stars that shine brightest in the darkness, I pray that they will not lose their light even when darkness overcomes them

hwang tae kyung

then I can’t hold on to you. I wanted to be able to see you well when you came back, so I was trying to see even in the dark. every day, I even ate the carrots and spinach I hate, because I worried that I might lose you in the dark. because I didn’t want to lose you. but I can’t even hold on to you when I can see you well

you’re listening now, aren’t you? It’s so bright here, and your side is so dark that I can’t see you. please, don’t be where I can’t see you! come to where I can see you. give permission to let me see you

I’m going to keep telling you, so listen good every day. I love you

you can not hear it because im only yelling it inside my heart

seeing how you worried about me even though you were that sick, you seem to have some loyalty. seeing you enduring through it, you’ve also got some spirit. I haven’t wanted to accept you and wanted to reject you, but because of this, I’m accepting you. I’m on the same team as you now, so I feel a duty to look after you, and I’ll take responsibility for your affairs, too

ko mi nam

even so, the moon has its uses. rather than pointlessly brightening up an already bright day, it gives light on a dark night. isn’t that useful?

he’s like a bright, shining star. when I receive that light, I feel brighter and also darker. When it’s bright I get my hopes up, and when it darkens I feel disappointment. I hate myself for this and feel ashamed

I am too ashamed of my heart and I just want to hide it in the dark

if I’m far away, I’ll search for stars and think of you

I wish that the world can be quiet so I can make sure my heart heard it right

right now I only see one special star. There are a great many of them, but this one star sparkles so brightly that I keep only seeing that star

you’re not ashamed of your feelings, or sorry for them. Even if you’re a fool, you are an admirable fool

kang shin woo

I’m not asking you to give your heart in one go. If you can give your heart bit by bit, then that’s a start… I’ve started

until now, I tried to hold onto you. In other eyes, it must have looked foolish. Because I tried very hard, in the end, since I couldn’t get you, I was able to let go

until someone will come to love her, I will just stay like this beside her. Because this is a love im happy to give and I wont expect anything in return

jeremy

that writer wrote, 'everyone who doesn’t love is guilty.’ that means that anyone who loves, no matter who they love, is guiltless

when I thought you were a guy, I was okay with it. whenI found out you were a girl, I was okay with it. but if you like him, I can’t be okay with it. why? why wasn’t it me? I told you about my treasure bus, and I let you close to Jolie and I was going to sing a song only for you. why don’t you like me?

for me, those words where precious, so I was sparing them. but if you spare them too much… they become words you can’t say

right now I can’t tell you that I’m okay, but once the bus goes around full circle.. I’ll be okay then. […] once we get off this bus, I’m going to be the fun, outgoing Jeremy again. forget everything I said in here. if you don’t, I can’t ever go back

the world is round, so no matter how far away you go, just like the magic bus, you’ll immediately return to the place where you belong

not telling her that you’ll wait for her is the same thing as not waiting at all

tempted, the great seducer

take care of your own heart too

trauma isn’t something grand. just on some random day, the thorn digs deeper stopping you in your tracks so that you can’t swallow or spit anything out

I didn’t know my mind was something I couldn’t control

one’s heart is like one’s muscles. your heart has been trained to like someone so much that it’s hard to forget it or love someone else. just like your body remembers certain actions, your heart only moves towards the person you love

my secret romance

you planned this from the start, didn’t you? you wanted to get back at me for playing dumb… that’s why you were nagging me. fine, I remember everything. I was lying. I remember the resort, the wine, what we did on the beach! I remember it all

go get her. are you going to let her get away? people always make fun of the way I dress. they say its tacky, unflattering, strange, and that I’m crazy. I know that. I know everything, but I play dumb, act calm and firm. I just ignore it. why? because I like the way I dress. because I want to do it. because this makes me happy

I was thankful to you earlier today. nothing is working out for me these days… and I’m so lonely… I was having a really hard time. but, no one ever asked me if I was all right. you were the first to ask. you were the first to ask me if I’m okay. it’s not even a big deal, but those words… strangely comforted me

even if a hundred bad things happen, when one good thing happens that day is a lucky day

those habitual hiccups of yours, I think I know what they mean. those hiccups are only for me, right?

I’m not your man. I’m mine.

I think you’re a force to be reckoned with

I wanted to do what I could to be with you. I don’t want to eat by myself

I’ll go wherever my heart takes me. Let’s see how far it takes us

it feels like a dream, and I don’t know when I’ll wake up

if you try to hold on to her, she might run away

a vacation is like dating. the way your heart races with excitement before a vacation, the fun you have while learning about a new place, the sadness you feel when the vacation ends and you go back home, in these ways it’s quite similar to dating

think about it carefully. when she’s with you, do you think there will be more days when she’s smiling or more days when she’s crying?

I’m thankful that my first love and my last love is you

I know it’s useless now, but let’s pray to be like a coin. you’re the front side, I’m the back side. when one side is missing, the coin is thrown away. let’s pray to be a coin. even if we can’t see each other, we’re always together. even if we can’t check on each other, we’re always together

I can do it. whether it’s 3 years or 30 years, I won’t go anywhere and wait for you. I’ll wait for you, so come back when you’re ready

we never know how or when something will begin

don’t be scared of getting hurt, and don’t hesitate because of what other people might think. just do it

I’m going to be by your side and only eat the food you make me, for the rest of my life

strong woman do bong soon

men are all dogs. dont insult dogs

when life gives you difficulties, just ignore them and laugh them off

sweet home

even the blackest darkness, vanishes in the faintest light. even the slightest chance, can give us hope

when someone promises something and it's nearly impossible to keep, there's a good chance it'll end up being a lie

it's the time in which it's more difficult to find reasons to survive than to actually survive

all of us are dead

they say when people confirm their situation is hopeless, they truly fall into despair - choi nam ra

I still have things to do here - choi nam ra

today I'm the happiest guy in the school - lee cheong san

you have to live for them - lee cheong san

do you know when it is the hardest for us? right now. because we have to save the most people, not the people most precious to us - park eun hee

all of us have some sort of prejudice. we all have preconceptions about other people - choi nam ra

I will always stand with the powerless people - park eun hee

we're the only ones who can save ourselves - lee cheong san

her private life

fill your room with the things you love so you can live a happier life

it's not that I don't like holding hands. I don't like the moment when I have to let it go again

art may be great but it cannot be greater than a living human being. I am still greater than those painting that are hung on that wall. because I am a living being and I will continue to live

money heist korea, joint economic area

it was clear that everyone on the train smelled the same thing. It was the smell of hope

if you’re gonna throw your life away, why not put it in my hands?

why Tokyo of all places? because we’re going to do a bad thing

if there’s even a drop of water from the tiniest crack in a dam, the dam can break, regardless of how big and sturdy it is. we will seize that one chance

if you keep running away, it’ll become a habit. you will have to face it at some point

just because somebody is willing to risk their life, that doesn’t mean they welcome death. it just means they’ll do whatever it takes to make their dream a reality

all of us are just born to die anyway. it’s only a matter of how soon you go

[percontaion-points]

Packless chapters 15 & 16

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 15

I was taller than her, and looking around the room, quickly realized Jasper wasn’t alone. Reed was sitting on a couch…

[...]

Until I realized Callum Sawyer was sitting in a club chair across the room, a glass of whiskey dangling from his hand.

 Shit. I looked around, quickly counting doorways and windows. Not that Marnie and I could leap from the fifth floor.

If your options are either to be brutalised and possibly raped by these three men, or to jump out the fifth story window, I’d choose the window every time. 

I cried out as Marnie crashed to her knees. As soon as she made contact, she scuttled towards the door, her head tucked so low it almost touched the ground. I sprang after her, but Jasper must have been waiting for it, because he pulled me back hard against his chest. As soon as Marnie reached the hall, he kicked the door closed behind her. His arm was a steel band across my breasts, but I barely noticed. My gaze was locked on the door, and the image of Marnie crawling out of the room like a whipped dog.

Oh no. I wasn’t actually anticipating Vail being brutalised right this second. Holy shit. 

“I don’t think you’ve understood one damned thing since you strolled onto this campus with your nose in the air, Vail Chance.” 

No, because you spew all of this shit about belonging and pack, and belittle and mock her for understanding. But NOT ONCE has a single goddamned person tried to help her understand any of it. 

And then they wonder why she’s fighting so hard against all of this. Probably because it’s patriarchal bullshit that revolves around literally owning women like a prized breeding cow?

“Take that lot with you, though. Might give you a clue how a real dud is s’pose to act.”

Chapter 15 summary: Vail and Marnie wait around until it’s time to go up to the alpha’s floor, and then they go. Except when Jasper motions them to his room, Vail is upset to find that he isn’t alone, and that Callum and Reed are also there. 

They’re quick to kick Marnie out, and grab Vail so that she can’t leave as well. They then start to demand answers from Vail about her brother, and then Trey. However, Vail has no more answers to give them that they clearly don’t already know. To the point that when they mention Trey’s ties with an enemy pack, it’s like… Why did you even bother to ask Vail when you clearly knew what her answer was going to be? You know more than she does. 

But because of Trey’s ties with the other pack, they want to “assign a lower-ranking male to watch over her”. They then belittle her for not knowing what any of that means, and finally kick her out of the room. Which… Glad that we didn’t get any more sexual violence towards her right now. 

Chapter 16

The irony wasn’t lost on me that at eighteen, Vail would also come into her wolf maturity, and would start her instinctive search for a mate. 

I’m now at the point of the story where it wouldn’t surprise me if that literally didn’t happen. Like her 18th birthday comes and goes, and Jasper is waiting for her to… IDK, go into heat or something. But nothing happens, because Vail isn’t a goddamned wolf. 

Maybe some of that anger had leaked out into the way I’d just held her; tight enough, I was sure, to leave bruises on her ribs. Cal had insisted we needed to scare her a little. Try to get her to slip up and admit to her relationship with Barakat.

I don’t know how to explain to others that when people say shit like “He’s a scumlord who keeps thinking that he owns me. I wish he would go die in a ditch”, PEOPLE USUALLY MEAN THAT. THAT’S NOT ACTING. 

“Should let that play out sooner rather than later.”

Chapter 16 summary: We jump over to Jasper, so that we can have several more pages of him wangsting about his boner. Ugh. 

Anyway, the gist of all of this internal wangst is that he now understands that Vail is off-limits, thanks to her connections to the enemy pack. But Jasper’s dick doesn’t understand that; he simply wants to drag her back to his “mating den” (which is exactly what you think it is) and have his way with her. He also doesn’t understand why his magical dick hasn’t brought out her wolf… As if it’s somehow a cure-all for duds or something. 

Reed and Callum then interrupt his thoughts to remind him that Vail rejected Jasper’s claim on her. Jasper is quick to point out that she didn’t actually say shit about it, but the others mock and belittle her further by saying that she’s too stupid to know what to do. They go on to say that she’s nobody, with a human mother (but said way more racistly) and a “nobody” wolf father. Jasper then gets angry at them for saying that they were going to assign a beta male to watch over Vail, but they insist that it’s for the best. For everybody involved. 

[thomine]

the duet of one heart | alhaitham

RELATIONSHIP } alhaitham x reader

TAGS } general audiences, controlling parents, rivals to friends (but still rivals)

SUMMARY } when alhaitham parted ways for good, it should have been the end of all things. still, he finds you among thousands of faces.

WORD COUNT } 1.4k words

INFO } au august 2023, day 7 (musician) | more

Alhaitham doesn’t scan the crowd when he’s performing. There’s no need for him to capture the amazed faces of his audience. It doesn’t teach him anything he already knows about himself. However, he will give the audience a humbling glance before he leaves them breathless. He’s tried to unlearn this ritual since it also doesn’t change what he painfully accepted, but his body has ingrained this practice as it did with every note of his musical pieces.

He lifts the violin, positioning the chinrest where it belongs. His right arm raises his trusted bow as the spotlight shines on him. In that split second before he rips a note across the theatre, his eyes sweep across every face.

He hesitates from playing the violin—paralysed by a millisecond of confusion—before his instincts take over.

You should be miles away, yet you were sitting at the back.

When his performance ends, he bows, and he tries to find you through the gaps of his fringe.

It’s not the trick of the light.

When the curtains close, he is ushered backstage. Being bombarded with compliments by his manager has never been an issue with Alhaitham who had no where to go after his splendid performance. In fact, he likes to linger on stage hidden from the purview of his adoring fans and read a book to let the crowd wane before showing himself again.

This time, he finds himself pushing through the crew that circles him. He must find you again because only a fool makes the same mistake twice.

Cameras follow him the moment he steps out of the theatre hall. Periodic flashes of light disorient him enough to be annoyed, but his determination is stronger than that of the paparazzi acquiring their best shot. A couple of turns deeper into the city’s maze-like alleys is enough to get them off his tail.

When the coast is clear, he walks back to the theatre in hopes you might still be around, except you catch him before he does. You pull your hood down and call out to him as you did years ago. Time has touched your features but the admiration you reserved specially for him remains in the pools of your eyes, and Alhaitham finds it tiring to put the effort to maintain his neutral expression.

He says your name, perfectly as always.

“You look at me as if I’m not supposed to be here,” you comment after exhaling what he thinks is supposed to be a laugh. “Is it that hard to believe I’m standing right in front of you?”

Does he really look that way? He is too busy staring. There was a strong reason why he walked through the departure gate without looking back. He never would have thought he’d find you among his crowd again.

“I reckon your parents are well,” he says as he takes the sight of you one last time before he accepts that the truth of the matter is this: you’ve done the impossible. You nod, lips pressed into a thin line. You dislike it when he begins the conversation with such a sensitive topic, but he couldn’t help himself. They are the corner pieces for the puzzle of you and him. “Do they know you’re here?”

“It depends...” You press your back against the wall opposite him. If you are trying to hide the tiny tension in your eyebrows, the squeezy alleyways does not help. “I was part of a concert in Fontaine, and Sumeru is a train away so… my parents don’t need to know.”

Alhaitham reaches into his pockets and fiddle with his keys. This is not a good place to talk if you’re meant to be hiding from cameras, but he isn’t sure he can sneak you into his house comfortably.

He checks his phone, and his manager sent a few texts. Although perturbed by his strange behaviour, the manger states he left the backstage keys under the flowerpot nearest to the door if he ever returns for his cozy corner.

“Come,” he instructs as he turns and resumes his journey back to the theatre. He takes a quick glance at you still stuck to the alley’s wall.

“It’s too risky,” you note and look at him. “If they find out, who knows what rumours they’ll start spreading about you in the media—”

“I know,” he states as he gives his hand.

“The other time you almost lost your contract with Sumeru Symphany. I can’t bear being the reason for your downfall. I have to go. It’s the best for both of us.”

He holds onto your shoulder before you can slip away from him again. It amazes him how one minute you defy all he knows and the next you revert to a scared mouse, as if you did not experience the hell of the surgical table and lived to tell the tale.

“It would have been a loss for the group so I knew they wouldn’t break the contract over trivial matters.”

“Trivial?” you push his warmth away. “Alhaitham, my parents framed you for being a criminal. You were about to go to jail.”

“Have you forgotten how I do not care? Their evidence might have swayed the views of the public as expected of those that do not think for themselves, but no matter how much dirt they use to hide, a treasure is still a treasure.”

You chuckle meekly.

“That confidence of yours…” you mutter, eyes downcast. “It boils my blood sometimes.”

“Because you know I’m right.”

You shake your head in surrender. “Fine. Where should we go?”

He grabs your hands, fingers gently slipping through the gaps of your hand. When he clasps his digits around yours, he makes a tiny promise that he won’t let you leave so easily. Back then, he resigned to the fate that there was no other choice, but now that you’ve appeared in front of him again, be it through your wits or by fate that was once so cruel, he’s willing to give it another shot.

Guiding you through the theatre, your tiny wows cause a small smile to ease up his lips. This building finished renovations last week and he’s proud to be the first performer. If the news reached you, then he achieved his goal.

When both of you are finally backstage, he introduces you to his corner. It’s minimal: towers of book surrounding a single chair. He offers you to sit on it as he gets another for himself, but when he returns, you’re more interested in the stage.

“It looks so different from this angle,” you observe as you scan the empty seats. You point in the direction you sat, eyes sparkling as you look at him. “I was behind a pillar, and you saw me from here?” You gawk.

Alhaitham swallows, a wave of embarrassment threatening to pull him under. “You’re too recognisable.”

You smile, seemingly aware of what he’s implying. “That’s good I suppose. All these years I thought I was crazy to try, but I’m glad I’m not alone.”

You bounce over to the edge of the stage, something having caught your eye. It’s the storage room. When he’s beside you, you ask if there are any violins.

“They’re discarded instruments,” he states, crossing his arms. “Use my violin instead if you insist on trying this stage.”

“The violin of my arch-nemesis? You must be crazier than I thought,” you joke before resorting to your serious mien. “I have other plans.” You open the storeroom and swat away the dust that flies up. Picking a random violine that still has its strings intact, you pull Alhaitham to the centre of the stage.

He gets the hint and prepares his instrument while you tune your temporary one.

It takes a while before you lock eyes with him, brimming with excitement.

“Just like the old days,” you say before playing a single note.

Alhaitham—the perfect prodigy of the century—hears the violin squeak. The sound falls flat at times and does not reverberate as clearly as it should. It sends his mind in a flurry, but your intimate understanding of melodies crafts a dream like song that calms his nerves, enough for him to prompt himself and continue. He blends his own improv with your steady lead, and before he knows it, he can’t tell what is played by him or you.

All there exists in this theatre is one heart. It sings.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

298 of 2022

   Do you ever feel guilty after you masturbate?

Yeah, even very much so. Guys tend to make it messy, too (such is biology) and I hate my body for that. And for supposedly having this kind of needs, too.

   What is the most you have ever weighed?

More than I weigh now, too much for my tastes. I’m almost underweight, though.

   Would you ever work at McDonald’s?

I don’t think that’s a job for me.

   What do you think of feminism?

I just think radical feminism is not okay, because it’s just a bunch of unfair generalising. Otherwise, it’s a good thing.

   Have you ever done anything sexual with the same sex?

Yeah. I’ve never had sex with a woman, all two people I’ve ever had sex with are men.

   Are you a member of any dating sites?

No. But back in time me and some members of the forum I belong to created profiles on OKCupid just to add one another and check the match, it was kind of a “social experiment” done just for lolz. We deleted everything after a week or so.

   Coolest person you’ve ever met?

My 2nd ex, Nielsje. He’s wonderful, inside and out.

   Have you ever gone to a strip club?

No, not interested.

   If not, would you ever go?

Nope.

   Do you wear boxers?

I do.

   Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon?

Never, guys don’t need tampons anyway.

   Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival?

I don’t think so. I am “that gay dude”, but there’s no pride nor shame in who I am.

   Most ghetto area you’ve been to?

I don’t think the street I used to live on counts as ghetto XD

   Do you listen to The Dream?

I don’t even know who that is.

   If so, what’s your favourite song by him?

N/A.

   Do you download music via Limewire or file sharing?

No, it’s illegal in my country.

   Have you ever used a torrent?

No, it’s illegal here. All torrent websites are blocked by the government.

   Did you see Paranormal Activity 2?

No, I don’t even know what that is.

   Have you ever been so scared of a movie you had to leave the theatre?

I don’t even go to the cinemas. Such a waste of time for me.

   Have you ever been to Canada?

No, I’ve never left Europe.

   One place you want to visit before you die.

New York.

   Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone in school?

Probably, I don’t remember.

   What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass?

Haha he must be gay for that, I can’t think of anything else. I can’t imagine your average grandpa touching another guy like that XD

   Do you like moustaches?

Not that much.

   Know any hipsters?

Probably.

   What about gays?

Yeah, myself. Except that, I know one married couple and supposedly one of the guys I like, but he never said it loud.

   Does the song that gets on everybody’s nerves get on your nerves?

What is that song anyways?

   Is daylight savings time kicking your ass?

Most of the time. Then I get used to it.

   Could you hack into someone’s computer if you tried hard enough?

I wouldn’t even need to “try hard enough”. But I’m not gonna use this knowledge, ever.

   Have you ever smoked a cigar?

No, I haven’t.

   What is one thing you want for Christmas this year?

Good health.

   Do you go out on Black Friday?

Is it that shopping day? Then yeah, sure.

   Do you have curtains in your bedroom?

Shower curtain beause one of the doors is broken.

   Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little?

No. I’ve never liked ‘girly things’.

   Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song?

I don’t even know what that is.

   Do you get heartburn?

Not anymore, I take medication for that.

   What internet browser do you use?

Firefox for now, Opera in my phone, Chrome in my tablet, but I hate Chrome.

   Are you scared of elevators?

Not anymore. I use them quite a lot.

   Have you ever seen a dead body in person?

Well, I’ve seen my grandma at her funeral, just before they closed her coffin. Does that count?

   Have you ever seen The Goonies?

No and I don’t even know what that is.

   Do you think Michael Jackson was really a sex offender?

I don’t know and I don’t care, he’s been dead for 13 years, God.

   If you’re white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa?

No. I’m fine being white and even pale. After all, it doesn’t even matter what skin colour you have, every person is either a good person or an asshole, and everyone deserves respect by default.

   Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas?

No. I usually forget about it.

   Do you like your hair pulled?

I hate it. I’ve had major surgery on my head and some areas on it are too sensitive now. And even before.

   Do you crack your toes?

No, tht has never happened. I crack everything else, though.

   What kind of cellphone do you have?

Samsung Galaxy A-something.

   Have you ever visited a college for a weekend?

No, never. Is there such a thing?

   Are you in college?

I’ve been doing yet another degree in uni, but I put it on hold, involuntarily.

   What is the furthest you will go away from home for college?

15 kilometres maybe. I have a workplace in my city and I can’t move away now.

   Funniest youtube video you’ve seen?

Djent Scene in 5 Minutes, these dudes are awesome.

   Are you scared of public restrooms?

No, just disgusted.

   Do you still go trick or treating?

Still? I’ve never celebrated Halloween at all.

[darling-i-read-it]

My Number

Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: hawkeye series spoilers, clint barton SLANDER, talks of natashas death

Author’s Note: this me actually manifesting matt and fisk in the mcu edit: I wrote this yesterday I MANIFESTED IT HERE HAVEA FIC

Summary: Clint used to work with you and knows of your work fighting Fisk. When he realizes who he’s dealing with, he goes to see you in Hell’s Kitchen where you’ve started a new life working at Nelson, Murdock and Page.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Clint hardened his jaw. If Maya was after ‘Ronin’ he had bigger problems on his hands than the young girl who never seemed to leave him alone. Maya was just a means to an end, she had people above her, people that were an issue to his and his family's safety.

“There’s a guy at the top, he’ll do anything to grow the operation.”

“I thought Maya was the boss?” Kate said, walking down the street swiftly with him. She looked behind her, checking to make sure no one was following him. Her hands were shoved in her purple jacket. Clint cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“No, there’s someone above Maya.” Kate looked over at him worriedly. She thought this Maya girl was hard enough to handle, there was more? “Someone you don’t want to mess with.” Kate looked forward, biting her lip a bit.

“Is there anyone you know who can help with that?” Clint gave her a quizzical look. “I mean, you’re an Avenger! You must have cool friends, people that have dealt with her or these people before.”

“I’m not getting anyone else mixed up in this. It’s bad enough that you’re here.” Kate shook her head.

“You’re being very heroic right now Clint!” She nudged him. “But there has got to be someone.”

“The only person who ever dealt with this guy is Daredevil. You got him on speed dial Kate?” She thought about it genuinely for a moment as though she might have Daredevil on speed dial but hadn’t used it in a while so she wasn’t sure.

“You don’t know Daredevil?” she asked, confused.

“Different division,” he muttered. He was evading the question. He didn’t know Daredevil, truthfully but he did know someone who worked around Wilson Fisk before. He met a lot of people working for SHIELD and kept a lot of those friends after they left.

Like you.

You had directly tried to take Fisk down on more than one occasion. Though he had never been involved, he had heard down the grapevine of your involvement. It had gotten you hurt and almost killed.

Ironically, it had been Daredevil to save you when Clint, Natasha and SHIELD hadn’t been able to.

“What? What is that look on your face?”

“What look, I’m not making a look.” Kate rolled her eyes.

“You are. It’s your plotting look.”

“You’ve known me for all of a couple of days and think you know my plotting look?”

“Yeah actually I do.” Kate stopped in front of him, making him halt in his tracks. She stared into his eyes, crossing his arms. “Well?”

“There might be someone who could help us. But I haven’t spoken to her in years.”

“Well it’s time to reignite some old flames!” she said, smiling.

“Not an old flame. Just…an old friend.”

“Do you know where she is?” Kate asked. He nodded a bit, thinking back to when you really got into it with Fisk.

“Hell's Kitchen. I don’t know where in Hell's Kitchen but that’s where she lives.”

===

You rolled your eyes, brushing a loose piece of hair out of your face.

“All I’m saying is- Matt stop trying to stop me from talking- this is a perfect chance to get a drink because we have no court case tomorrow and none on Wednesday,” Foggy explained. Matt was trying to put his hand over Foggy’s mouth but Foggy kept fending him off. Karen was sitting on the desk, rolling her eyes just as you rolled yours.

“One of us has to be sober,” Karen said. “As a designated driver and so the office runs tomorrow.”

“Well I guess I’m taken out of the running as a designated driver,” Matt said slyly. You scoffed, nudging him. He nudged you back.

“I will do it,” you said finally. “You guys have all the fun, I’ll have water, keep Nelson, Murdock and Page afloat.”

“Have I ever said how happy I am that you and Matt got married so we didn’t have to add another last name?” Foggy asked, patting your back. “And how you are the best designated driver.”

“I know that Nelson,” you said, shoving his face out of your way. He laughed, grabbing his suit jacket.

“So we all go in Matt’s car!”

“It’s my car,” you argued. Karen stood up and you tossed Matt his jacket, which he let fall on the floor. “I know you knew I was gonna throw that.”

“You’re throwing things at me now? This marriage is going downhill. We should’ve gotten a prenup.” You rolled your eyes and were the first out the office door, starting to walk past Karen’s desk when the front door opened. Foggy groaned at the sound, walking up behind you.

“We’re closed, you can come back tomorrow,” Matt said before Foggy could say anything too rude. You stopped in your tracks, Matt ramming right into you. He steadied his ground and realized how fast your heart had started to race. “Everything okay?”

“I just wanted to talk to Y/N. I’m glad you’re here,” Clint said awkwardly. You narrowed your eyes.

“This is my place of work and I’m not talking to you here.”

“Listen Y/N-” Clint started but you shook your head. Kate stood behind him, face neutral. She cleared her throat.

“We need your help and we understand you’ve dealt with Wilson Fisk before?” Matt took a step forward.

“What about Wilson Fisk?” You put your hand up against Matt’s chest, shaking your head even more aggressively.

“You don’t bring that here. You don’t barge into my life after Natalia and disrupt me anymore.”

“Who is this?” Foggy whispered to you, eyeing the two archers.

“Uh I’m Kate and this is Clint,” Kate said, holding out her hand for Foggy to shake. He did so hesitantly and quickly revoked his hand at your icy gaze.

“We’re going drinking,” you said, standing up straight. You started to walk past the two of them but Clint grabbed your arm. It wasn’t aggressive or threatening but Matt still put himself between the two of you.

“Get your hands off of her,” he said. He stood above Clint. He didn’t tower over him but his stance was straighter than Clints and more confident. Matt could beat him in a fight, you were convinced. Clint let you go.

“This is between me and her.”

“And Kate?” Karen asked, stepping in.

“Look, it looks like she doesn’t want to talk to you so it’s best if you just leave,” Matt said, voice stoic. Clint met your eyes and you gave him no indication of backing down.

“It’s important. I wouldn’t have come to you if it wasn’t important,” Clint said. You blew a puff of air out of your nose. You tossed Karen your keys.

“I’ll be down in five minutes.” She gave you an unsure look, her hand resting on your arm, like she would jump Clint if you gave her the go ahead. You forced yourself to ease up your gaze and nod. “I’ll be okay.”

Karen walked past you, followed quickly by Foggy. Matt stayed put.

“Look man, it’ll just be a minute. I’ll make Kate go downstairs too.”

“Hey!” Kate exclaimed. You put your arm on Matt’s and he turned his ear towards you. You cleared your throat.

“Yeah. Why don’t you take Kate downstairs so Clint and I can have a private conversation, away from prying ears.” Matt nodded softly and opened the office door.

“Kate.” She let out a huff.

“I don’t even know these people,” Kate muttered.

“That’s my husband Matt. The girl is Karen, the guy is Foggy. All lawyers,” you explained. Kate eased up a bit and cleared her throat, nodding.

“Be quick,” she said and followed Matt out.

You and Clint were alone, for all intents and purposes. Matt was listening in as he walked down the stairs.

“You’re married?”

“Yeah. Happily.” Clint smiled warmly.

“I never thought anyone could lock you down. Let alone a blind lawyer. Doesn’t seem like your speed.”

“He’s good in bed,” you muttered, leaning against Karen’s desk. “Can you get on with it?” Clint nodded.

“You put Fisk in jail, last time he went in and the time before that.”

“That was Daredevil but go on.”

“I need your help. And Daredevils, if you have that guy's number.” You shrugged.

“And why the hell would I help you? Last time I tried you took my best friend and dropped her off a cliff.”

“She was my friend too,” he argued, eyes glossed over. You crossed your arms, not letting up.

“Last I checked, Fisk was being Fisk in jail. Daredevil made him promise not to do anything more.”

“Daredevil should have killed him,” Clint muttered.

“Not his style.”

“It should be, for people like FIsk.”

“He’s not like you.”

“Sounds like you know this guy personally.”

“And if I do?” He was silent. You sighed and stood up straight. “What is it you need me to do?” “One of his minions is after Ronin.”

“Aren’t you..”

“Yeah.” You nodded a bit. This was awful. If Fisk was back on the streets Matt was gonna have to deal with it.

“She’s gonna keep coming at me and I just want your help with getting rid of the problem. I could do it myself but my kids want me back for Christmas.”

“Don’t bring your kids into this,” you huffed. “I have a family too, you know. Those people down there are my family and I cannot drag them through another one of Fisk's messes.”

“But you can’t let him be out there. I’ll tell you what.” He grabbed one of Karen’s papers and pens and scribbled something down. He handed you the paper.

“This is where I’m staying and my number. Give it to Daredevil for all I care. But help would be appreciated.” He walked past you. You looked down at the paper. You thought about crumpling it and tossing it in the trash but instead you pocketed it. You followed Clint out the door and down the stairs.

“Uh but yeah, I would be a terrible lawyer. I don’t know how you guys argue in front of everyone, I can hardly argue in front of my mom,” Kate was saying. Matt turned to you and Clint came down the stairs. “Good talk,” Kate muttered. “Everything go okay?” she asked Clint. He shrugged.

“She’s giving my number to Daredevil.”

“That’s sick!” Kate exclaimed. “Is he cool? I bet he’s cool.” You smiled.

“He’s very cool,” you promised. “I’ll let you know Clint.”

“Thank you.” He walked out the door, leaving you and Matt alone. Karen and Foggy were already in the car, having it running in the freezing temperatures of Hell's Kitchen. You turned to Matt.

“Am I good in bed?” You rolled your eyes.

“Obviously.”

“Are you going to give me the number?”

“No, I’m not,” you muttered. “I can’t watch you go through that again Matty. I won’t.” He let out a soft huff.

“If he’s out there again someone needs to stop him. Why can’t it be me?”

“Because I said so.” You looked down at his shoes. Clean, squeaky clean. They must be new. “I can do it, if it needs to happen.”

“You said you wouldn’t fight anyone else's battles,” Matt argued.

“What and you can?”

“You’ve been doing it for far too long, that’s all.”

“And you have too!” you fought. “Clint can handle this. He was an Avenger. He successfully killed Black Widow.” You both knew that wasn’t how that happened but he had no interest in fighting you on your late friend's death. “Plus he has a new little trainee. What more could he want? Don’t give me that Catholic bullshit right now Murdock or so help me…”

“You’ll fight me?” he teased. “We both know who’ll win.” You smiled gently and grabbed his hand.

“Let’s just go get drinks. Please?”

“Alright. But tomorrow I want to talk more about this.”

The two of you went out to the car. Karen sat in the passenger seat, effectively shoving Matt to the back in his own car. You got in the driver's seat.

“What was that about?” Foggy asked, leaning forward. You glanced over at him, starting the car.

“Hawkeye just asked for Daredevil's help,” you mused.

“Oh shit. I think you’ve made it Matt,” Karen said.

“He’s not gonna help,” you said. “Neither am I.”

“Why aren’t you helping?” Foggy asked.

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I’m not helping?” Matt questioned.

“I know why you’re not. You have a badass wife who can do it and none of us are gonna let you fight Fisk again after what it did to you the last time,” Foggy said. You pulled out of the parking spot.

“Clint can handle it. If Fisk really wants to do some damage he could come for Nelson ,Murdock and Page. He doesn’t have the balls for that after what Matt did to him.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Matt muttered. You rolled your eyes.

“Oh are we playing make up lies now? Okay, I didn’t have to care for your stitches every day for a month after you fought Fisk,” you said.

“Fisk made me feel safe,” Karen said, adding on.

“Fisk was an easy win,” Foggy added. You smiled and looked at Matt in the rearview mirror.

“Fine, I get it,” Matt said.

“We don’t deal with Fisk until we have to, you hear me?” Matt let out a sigh, leaning back.

“I hear you.” Foggy pursed his lips.

“Something tells me he doesn't hear you.”

Part 2

Marvel Tag List: @dpaccione, @demonchick1, @karasong, @elisaa-shelby, @lov3vivian, @russian-soft-bitch, @alexxavicry, @valentina-luvs-u, @demigirl-with-problems, @chaotic-fangirl-blog

[anashins]

The Right Kind of Wrong

Title: The Right Kind of Wrong

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: hate to love, cheating, college!au, friendship, romance, smut

Warnings: smut, cheating, cursing, toxicity

Word Count: 8.454

Summary: There are many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun. Aside from being cocky and selfish, the fact that he is dating your best friend is another one of them. But his mesmerizing smile - to hell with it - just isn't.

____

There were at least a hundred things you hated about Jung Jaehyun.

The fact that he was dating your best friend was just one of them.

Not a single day had passed by in the last year in which she hadn’t complained about her boyfriend having flirted with another woman, having ditched her again, going to a party and ignoring her all night, or simply dragging her mood down by one of his unpredictable and hurtful actions.

Aside from being cocky, selfish, arrogant and reckless, Jung Jaehyun was absolutely incapable of being a decent human being for more than ten seconds, and you were wondering why he was so damn popular despite all his faults.

When you went out with your friend group, he mocked the boys trying to hit on you, telling you they were so desperate for that move. When you were attending the same class, he purposely sat down next to you to distract you from the lesson. When he was at your dorm, he kept moving your things onto high shelves, knowing you couldn’t reach them.

And his smirk everytime he did so… his smirk every time he mocked you was so annoying. But also so hot.

Fuck, you thought whenever his mischievious eyes met yours again, and you had to turn away, at a loss for words and afraid he’d caught you flushing. You were so ashamed, because you actually wanted to hate him.

There were many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun, but his mesmerizing smile wasn't one of them.

You hadn’t hated him from the first moment that you two had officially met as you had gotten introduced to each other through your best friend who was also your dorm mate, though. She had found him on a dating app, and you had found him sitting in your class two days later, talking back to the professor.

Back then, you had started admiring his intelligence and courage. But those were the only two positive things you had spotted so far as you only tried to stay as far away from him as possible, emphasizing his negative character traits over and over again.

But the truth was that staying away from him was a very hard thing to do, and you fought every day for your sanity, trying to be a good friend and suppressing your controversial feelings for a man who was absolutely forbidden to you.

“He went drinking last night and I saw an instagram story of him grinding against another girl on the dancefloor!” your best friend complained in your arms, tears on the verge of flowing. “Who’s doing that even?!”

A few pairs of eyes turned into your direction, but when you threw fierce glances at the people staring at you, they passed by very quickly.

When you had been invited to your friend Johnny’s house party, you hadn’t expected to be spending the evening comforting your best friend, even though that had been your daily routine for the past three weeks.

It had grown toxicly usual for Jaehyun and her to fight in a two to three day rhythm over the smallest things, and although their wonky relationship or whatever it was hadn’t been very steady before with them breaking up nearly monthly, lately it had grown almost obnoxious.

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” you suggested again and immediately felt your heart sink.

It wasn’t like you wanted them to break up because you wanted Jaehyun for yourself. You’d never do that to her.

Your best friend was just constantly hurting, and it hurt you just as much when you saw her suffering so greatly. Jung Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and you both knew. Yet, she couldn’t let go of him. You knew exactly how that felt.

Even if they were to break up, he wouldn’t belong to you. Because a friend’s ex was a taboo. So having Jaehyun gone entirely from your lives would kill two birds with one stone.

“Not that again!” your friend whined and retreated from you, sinking into the couch with her arms crossed and no signs of tears anymore. “I can’t! I mean… look at him! He’s so hot, and don’t get me even started about his skills in bed. That’s where we usually make up, you know, so-”

“I’m going to get you something to drink!” you interrupted her and jumped up. “You totally need a cocktail now! To come to your senses!”

You loved your best friend dearly, but you didn’t want to hear about Jaehyun’s skills by all means. At some times, your friend didn’t have a filter, and then, it only spiraled downhill from there. You heard them often enough in the dorm, that was already pushing you to your limits.

When you entered the kitchen, you reached up to get a glass from the shelf, but like most of the times, you were too short for the remaining ones at the very top.

“Here, let me help you.”

A soft voice echoed from behind you, but before you could turn around to follow the tone, the guy had already heaved up his arm and reached over you to the very top of the shelf to get you a glass.

Shifting around, you faced the mischievous expression of the young man you had wanted to avoid and who your best friend was currently crying over.

Without a “thank you”, you reached out your hand to grab the glass from Jaehyun, but he immediately shot his arm up to bring the glass high over his head and far out of your reach.

“You think a simple ‘thank you’ is too much for you?”

“Fuck off, Jaehyun.” You crunched with your teeth and narrowed your eyes. “I’d rather die of thirst!”

“What did I do again?” He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner as though his high spirits got ruined. “What did she tell you?”

“She told me everything she saw from last night!” you defended your friend. “That’s enough for me to get the picture!”

“Okay, and did the picture somehow include me pushing the girl away after she had grinded on me?”

You gulped.

“Just as I thought.”

He placed the glass on the counter, but somehow, this hadn’t got your both’s attention anymore.

“There are two sides of the same coin, yet all you've ever done was looking only at one.”

He approached you, and the rising hotness in your cheeks made you withdraw until your hips bumped into the kitchen counter.

Jaehyun leaned in and propped his arm against the same spot right next to your hip as he asked, “I know you’re her best friend, but being a friend doesn’t mean supporting your friends delusional, one sided thoughts into oblivion. Being a friend sure means to support, I’m not denying that. But being a true friend means to tell someone when they’re wrong. And I am not the one at fault here, y/n.”

“You were doing many stupid things to hurt her in the past!” you started blabbering just to bridge over the silence you’d get when you would stare at his mesmerizing eyes for a little longer. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

“You aren’t supposed to believe me.” He retreated, with the glass in his hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to explain myself.”

Again, you were flabbergasted by the way he expressed his thoughts that stood in contrast to his questionable behavior. One of the main things that fascinated you. But you quickly turned this feeling into hate by recalling his wrongdoings from the night before.

Looking at the glass, Jaehyun continued, “Yes, there were many things I did wrong in the past. And I’m not going to pinpoint my finger at my girlfriend to tell that she was doing just as many questionable things as me. But people have reasons for doing the things they do. That’s probably why we’re such a good match.”

You didn’t understand a word. In your eyes, and you only knew about their relationship by what your friend told you and what you observed when you were hanging out, the two weren’t a good match at all.

He was the one constantly hurting her feelings, and she was the one to always get hurt.

Or... wasn’t it?

Jaehyun then thrusted the glass into your hand. “You’re lucky, y/n, you know that? It must be so great, living that freely, without any burdens… So oblivious to everything.”

With these words, he disappeared from the kitchen, leaving you behind all alone with the glass in your hand.

You looked at the item, your face getting reflected in the crystals to unrecognizability while Jaehyun’s words still kept you occupied. They had such an impact on you that you suddenly started to question whether your hate against him was actually valid.

When you stepped out of the kitchen yourself with a full glass of your best friend’s favorite cocktail in your hand, you found her in Jaehyun’s arms again, wildly kissing, his kind words suddenly vanished from your mind upon spotting them.

Instead, there was a little monster called jealousy sitting right inside your chest.

___

“8am in the morning! Who even places classes that early?!”

With a groan, Jaehyun flopped down in the seat next to you.

“Shut up, class is about to start.”

“Man, you must be really fun at parties,” he replied. “The professor is not even here yet.”

“You’re annoying, Jung Jaehyun, and if you weren’t dating my friend, I wouldn’t actually talk to you at all.”

“What are the odds we’re still connected to each other, huh! Tell me, y/n, what did I ever do to you? How did I ever hurt you? We’ve never even really spoken with each other ever since we’ve gotten introduced.”

“And I am grateful for this every single day.”

“What is it that you hate about me so much?” he questioned further, his eyes challenging.

But with your eyes straight ahead and no words on your lips, you ignored him as the professor entered the room only a short moment after, announcing the class’ start.

Your pen flew over the sheet, noting down the professor’s words when suddenly, goose bumps spread all over your arm.

When your eyes followed the trail to its source, your right elbow touched Jaehyun’s left one as a result of your hectic writing motions as you had moved too far to the side. The spot on your skin was so warm and so…

You withdrew your arm right away, placing it back to where it usually belonged, but Jaehyun’s own limb had moved so far to the left that you had no place to rest it next to your notes anymore without having his skin barely one inch apart from you. You weren’t touching anymore, but he was so close that you still felt him somehow.

Of course you could drop your arm and place it on your lap as the professor had stopped presenting the most important points of this lesson. Of course you could just move further away with your entire belongings, but the fact was that you didn’t. That you couldn’t.

Instead, you were fixating your eyes on the board right in front of you, listening to your professor’s words but not actually understanding a single syllable that he uttered as your heart beat fast against your chest.

You hoped that Jaehyun didn’t notice how desperate you were for him not to shift away right now. That you actually enjoyed it, but felt so much hatred at the same time. Not against him, but against you - for feeling this way.

“Can you answer my question, Miss y/n?”

Your eyes widened in shock as you got addressed by the professor by your surname. You were actually a good student who was always paying attention in class. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened. But now you got caught red handed not listening to him, and he was a very strict lecturer.

“I… um…” you stuttered.

“The answer to my question, Miss.”

“Yes… the answer…” You gulped as you didn’t even know the question. “The answer is…”

From the corner of your eyes, you perceived how a sheet was slowly moving into your direction from Jaehyun’s place. His finger was pointed at a paragraph that you had also noted down only shortly before.

Suddenly, you knew what the question was about and answered formally to the professor’s task.

With your heart having calmed down after the shock, you let yourself sink down on your seat again. You had gotten distracted only once by something that shouldn’t bother you at all.

This wouldn’t happen again, you swore to yourself.

____

“No ‘thank you’ again from you?”

You turned around to Jaehyun who had rosen a brow at you. “Is this becoming your thing now? Asking for ‘thank yous’?”

“Is this becoming your thing now?” he returned. “Not saying ‘thank you’? I saved your ass in class.”

“Well, I haven’t asked for that, so go beg somewhere else for attention.”

You made your way through the crowded club, feelling the bass under your feet and the techno music in your ears. Jaehyun was following suit.

“Do you want some kind of reward from me? Because you’re not going to get it.”

“I don’t want a reward. Hey.”

He reached out and grabbed you by your arm, right there on the dancefloor. The feeling from this morning returned, but in a higher intensity as it spread all over your body.

“All I’m asking for is respect.”

You snorted. “Respect? Do you respect my friend when you destroy her weekend plans to go drinking with your friends instead? Do you respect my friend when you dance ass on ass with another girl? Do you respect my friend when you hurt her feelings with your rude words? I don’t like you, Jung Jaehyun, because you’re a bad person, and respect is the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

You yanked yourself out from his grip and disappeared in the mass. What was up with him? Why was he bothering so much lately and evoking all these controversial feelings inside you by acting like this? He should just stay away.

With your eyes closed, you started to move with the music, all by yourself there on the dancefloor. You wanted to collect your thoughts, but as the music flooded through your body, you realized that thinking about nothing was probably the best way to cope with your inner struggles right now.

You opened your eyes widely when you suddenly felt a hand on your bum.

Turning around with much anger reflected in your mien, you stared at a boy around your age who grinned at you seductively. Your fierce gaze was probably mistaken for an invitation when he approached you further, grabbed you by your hips from the front and pressed you against him.

With his lips on your ear, he whispered, “I like what I see.”

And you wanted to scream. You probably did, but it got drowned out by the loud music, and his grip was way too hard for you to free yourself that easily as you shuffled in his arms.

“Let me go!”

Yet, his hands roamed around your private areas like they owned it.

“HEY!”

Before you could scream once more, the guy got dragged away from you by the last person you had expected it from.

“She said let go of her, you asshole!”

Jaehyun grabbed him by his collar, and his height and angry expression alone were probably enough for the other guy to nearly piss his pants as he hastily mouthed,

“I’m so sorry!”

When Jaehyun let go of him, he slipped off silently and wasn’t seen again.

You stood there awkwardly with your arms hugging your chest, still digesting the happenings.

“Did he hurt you?” Jaehyun asked when he leaned in for you to understand better.

You shook your head.

“Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded.

Jaehyun took you by your hand to lead you through the dancing crowd, and you didn’t protest.

This gesture was the total opposite to the disgusting one from the guy who had harassed you shortly before. This touch was raw and chaste. Nothing to be ashamed of and fight against, but something you wanted to accept wholeheartedly.

When you stood outside of the club, Jaehyun let go of your hand, and you finally whispered the words that he had been longing to hear for quite a time,

“Thank you.”

Against your expectations, he didn’t mock you or return witty words. With his eyes locked with yours, he sincerely told you,

“You’re welcome.”

That was the moment it dawned on you that Jung Jaehyun had more positive sides to him that you had always wanted to blend out. But perhaps, you had reached a point in which this wasn’t possible anymore.

You couldn’t continue keeping your eyes closed to all the kind sides of him. Because the more he showed you, the more you’d open your heart for him.

To you, Jung Jaehyun had to remain a bad person, otherwise you’d fall for him, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriend was a taboo.

“Hey, what are you two doing outside?!” Speaking of the devil, your best friend jumped out of the club’s door and into your direction. “Isn’t the music fun?”

Jaehyun looked at you, waiting for your reaction. You knew that if you wanted to go home, he’d follow. If you wanted to stay, he’d stay too, not letting you out of his sight. Because - and you couldn’t repeat this often enough - Jaehyun was actually a good person.

“I want to go home,” you decided. “You can stay, though! Please just let me be the party pooper all alone, I don’t want to spoil your night.”

“Oh, what a pity!” your friend said with a pout. “You always leave when the party is about to start!”

You shrugged with a weak smile, tired of fighting. “Yeah, I guess so. But I still have a lot of pages to revise.”

“Shall we take you back to the dorm?” Jaehyun offered in a caring voice that you apparently encountered for the first time, and your friend immediately shot a reproachful glare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?” she complained. “She’s a grown ass woman who can go home alone!”

His eyes hadn’t left yours. “I’m talking to her, not you.”

Had it always been like this? Her caring about herself more than about you? If it were the other way around, you wouldn’t let her go home alone in the middle of the night, no matter if you knew something had happened before or not.

Suddenly, you saw your best friend from a whole other perspective. Suddenly, she was the one having Jaehyun on a leash, and he was the one fighting back for his rights, not against her.

Two sides of the same coin… If you were to flip it, would your entire world view change?

For a moment, you hesitated. But not wanting to disturb your friend’s evening, you gave in with a, “It’s okay, I can go alone. Have a nice night!”

But Jaehyun held you back when he insisted on calling you an uber for which he even paid while your best friend continued pouting on the side.

____

“FUCK YOU, JAEHYUN!” you heard your best friend scream later that night from her room, every syllable of hers clearly to hear in your own room while you laid in bed later that night.

The hours before had passed by in a trance as you had only fallen onto your mattress face forward after having quickly changed into your pj’s, that was how much of a toll the day had taken on you.

You just wanted to forget what had happened in the club, but also the thoughts that had constantly been in your mind all the way home that only revolved around Jaehyun. So sleep was the best solution, and you would have gladly continued doing so if there weren’t your best friend and Jaehyun arguing loudly next to you for an hour already.

Then, Jaehyun seemed to return something to which she screamed again, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Stomping followed the brief silence, a door getting opened, then shut again, and footsteps moved into the direction of the entry door before it fell close behind Jaehyun.

This was a nearly weekly experience for you lately, and usually, you’d just miss hearing their arguments, but this time you couldn’t help but to wonder what they had been yelling about. You just hoped it wasn’t because of you and what had happened to you earlier, because in your eyes, Jaehyun had done nothing wrong.

He had been so incredibly nice and thoughtful that you started to doubt their relationship.

You turned in your bed, wanting to fight those thoughts so badly. Jaehyun was your best friend’s boyfriend, and hence, forbidden fruit for you. But you just couldn’t stop your imagination from running now.

What it would be like in your best friend’s place and get treated like this every day, and the worst part was that you didn’t even feel bad about betraying her in your mind.

Fuck, you only thought and sat straight up in bed, now surely not being able to grasp a light thought to accompaby you back to lseep anymore.

Feeling safe to leave your room ten minutes later as your roommate must have fallen asleep by now, you didn’t think about sleep anymore but wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen to calm yourself down.

Perhaps, tomorrow, you’d have another look at the entire situation, you tried to convince yourself. After a few more hours of sleep, all these confusing thoughts and feelings might have already been forgotten.

“Cannot sleep yet?”

You turned around and found a half naked Jaehyun only dressed in boxers right in front of you. The empty glass of water in your hands got placed back on the counter with shaky fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you contered.

“Well… she suddenly left.” He shrugged. “We’ve been arguing. You sure haven’t missed that one.”

“I didn’t.”

Still, you were wondering what that was all about, but didn’t want to ask. He lifted the weight off your shoulders himself though.

“It was about you.”

“Oh…?” You gulped.

“When you were gone, I went back to that guy and didn’t let him go that easily. They threw me out of the club and your friend thought I'd ruined the night for her.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

You wanted to make your way around him, but he blocked your way as he didn’t move to make space for you to pass by the door.

“What’s making me a bad person, y/n?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. “ The way I saved you in class? In the club? Tell me.”

“You cannot be serious right now. It’s 5am, draw a number for another day.”

You wanted to slip under his stretched out arm, but he moved his body to block you again. “Number one. Now tell me.”

“Because those have been the only times you were nice to me, Jung Jaehyun!” You clenched your fists, breathing in deeply. “When we go out with our friend group, you mock the boys trying to hit on me, telling them they’re so desperate for that move!”

“Because I heard them speaking about you before,” he declared. “They were not looking for something serious but only fun, one had even placed a bet. I tried to spare you from this embarrassment and eventual lovesickness. Go on.”

“When we’re in the same class, you purposely sit down next to me to distract me from the lesson!”

This one let him smirk. “Because I always saw you sitting there alone. You have no friends in that class, and I thought you might need some company. Besides… I knew you couldn’t afford that book we needed, and I purposely always shoved it into your direction when the professor read from it. Have you never noticed?”

Now you have. And you were flabbergasted.

“Wh… when,” you stuttered, “you’re over here, you always move my stuff onto high shelves, knowing I cannot reach them!”

“Because I love to see the defeated look on your face and your cute pout when you have to ask me to get the things for you.”

You didn’t know what to say further as you stood there, frozen on the spot. You hadn’t seen this answer coming.

“Anything else?”

Yes, there were many things you hated him for, and you wanted to throw them all into his face, but as he was standing there in front of you, not even one more came into your mind.

“I just hate you to the core!” you hissed.

But with calmness in his voice, he only turned, “No, you don’t.”

And then, it was all only a blur.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, you found yourself nudging against his body. You wanted to free yourself from his grip, but instead, you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to escape from his kiss, but instead, you kissed him back in the same passionate manner he kissed you.

Jaehyun’s hands roamed all over your lightly covered body while his lips moved against yours, touching every spot he had missed out on during the entire time he knew you, because you had always pushed him away.

But now that you had opened up to him, you were scared the time window was about to close very soon, so you had to work fast.

You jumped on him, hooking your thighs around his waist while his hands instantly clung around your buttocks to give you the support he needed to carry you to your bedroom. Your hands remained interlaced on the back of his neck when he placed you onto your bed and laid himself between your legs.

Thrown overboard were all your morals, priorities, and the friendship to the person that meant the world to you. You didn’t want to think about all that, but were longing for him so desperately that you wondered for how long you had been suppressing that desire already.

Jung Jaehyun was hot. But he was a bad person.

Or… wasn’t he?

You desperately ground upwards against him, feeling him growing between your legs, and you brought your hands down to massage his length. Jaehyun interrupted your kiss as he hadn’t expected this move to come, and groaned into your ear.

You smirked triumphantly, your hands kneading muscles until he was pressed hard against your palms. Tucking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid the garment from his hips, revealing his bum. Your hands glided along his curvy, soft mounds, grabbing into them like you were testing ripe peaches.

Jaehyun was pecking your lips as you slid your hands under his body again and closed around his entire girth. He stopped for a moment, but the second he continued on, you started moving your hands, top on top, along his length.

Not being able to concentrate on the feeling down there and kissing you simultaneously anymore, you perceived how Jaehyun got weak with supporting his body on his own arms that he had rested to the left and right of your head. So you decided to take the lead from here on.

Sitting up yourself, you put your palms on Jaehyun’s chest and pushed him backwards onto the mattress. He watched you with surprised eyes, but didn’t protest as you sat on his thighs, eyeing his member with much anticipation.

You slid further down his legs, nearly close to his ankles, and bowed down. With your fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, you led him to your mouth. First letting the tip pass by your lips, then his entire length up until the very middle.

You only heard him swearing, “fucking shit,” before Jaehyun covered his face with his arm placed over his eyes and his other clasping the sheet by his side. Your hair grazed over the area around his navel while you moved your head up and down, cautiously slow at first to give yourself time to adapt to his length.

Then, you started bobbing your head, increasing the speed with every time you came up and nearly let him slip out, your fingers that had closed around him sliding in the same rhythm, adding to the pleasure. The slurping noises that came along with this act filled the room until they got drowned out by Jaehyun’s moans.

He directed his hand towards your head and grabbed it by the back, ruffling your hair between his fingers while he started to thrust upwards, meeting you halfway in the fast motions. Like this, he was able to reach deep within you, but still not far enough so that he could hurt you.

When you witnessed him twitching his legs, you stopped, held him still by the base and decided to tease him further a bit before you allowed him to release himself. With the tip of your tongue, you touched his glans, trailed along the slip and then circled around the entire top part.

Jaehyun’s swearing words came in a never ending trail like a waterfall that you couldn’t really understand all syllables from, but you were sure you did a good job and rewarded him for being patient with the motions from before again, but this time with added pressure and passion.

Suddenly, he grabbed you by your arm, urging you to stop.

“Or else I’m gonna cum,” he said and sat himself up, flipping you around so that you laid under him again.

Hastily, you got rid of your top while Jaehyun worked on your sleeping shorts until shortly after, you were both lying naked on top of each other. You wanted him desperately inside you, because you just didn’t know when you’ve had had sex the last time, but instead of wanting to get through this fast, Jaehyun took his time.

That was when you realized that this entire joining was probably more to him than just sex to get it off. You had thought that because he hadn’t been able to get it tonight from your best friend, he’d take it from you. But the way he touched you insisted otherwise.

If it wasn’t more than just sex, he wouldn’t trail his fingers over your ribcage in feathery-light motions, admiring every inch of your body. If it wasn’t more than a body-focused act, he wouldn’t place soft kisses not only on your mouth, but also onto your forehead, your cheek, your neck… If it wasn’t more, Jaehyun wouldn’t be so damn thoughtful and tender.

He remained his tenderness and his gaze didn’t leave your eyes as well when he finally nudged between your thighs, pushing forward until he filled you up to the brim.

Restraining himself from starting to move right away, Jaehyun took his time to ask you whether you were okay at first when you let out a quiet “oh” that alarmed him. But you were eager to calm him down when you explained that it was only because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, and somehow, after speaking it out, it made you feel embarrassed.

As the boyfriend of your best friend, he’d surely know when you had been in contact with a man the last time, and you hated yourself for being so pressured by society to feel ashamed of who you were and how you lived your life.

But instead of judging you, Jaehyun only nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and suddenly, you were flooded with such a warm feeling towards him that you nearly cried. Rarely had you encountered a man so considerate and caring.

“Tell me when I can go on.”

You bit your lip and felt the uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions getting replaced by a feeling that you hadn’t encountered in so long. A feeling that made you want more, want him.

Holding onto his shoulders with both of your hands, you nodded back at him with a smile which he then returned. When Jaehyun started thrusting in and out of you, your eye contact didn’t break, and you were sure that right now, you were looking at the real Jaehyun at this very moment.

Not the guy you hated. Not the guy your best friend was dating. But instead the person who wanted to protect you from guys that only wanted to use you. A person who offered you company in class and shared his equipment with you. And a person whose cheekiness and affection he showed through childish acts because he didn’t know how to express his feelings otherwise.

This was not the person you were sure of knowing all along. Probably because you hadn’t even gotten to know him in the first place.

One arm now clung around his neck while with the other, you grabbed the pillow beside you. You threw your head back in excitement, his pushes coming in short intervals one after another, and he was hitting all the right spots with them.

Jaehyun propped his arms up to the left and right of him, lifting his upper body to gather all his strength in his groin area and stopped for a brief moment before he thrusted inside you with such force that it nearly knocked all air out of your lungs, and you couldn’t respond with anything else than moaning.

It felt so good, so… right. But how could something so wrong still feel so right?

Right now, you didn’t hate Jaehyun or your best friend the most, but yourself and the fact that you continued on and on. That you brought your hips up to meet his thrusts with hazy thoughts and his lips all over yours when he slowed down with his movements to dedicate himself to caressing your breasts.

You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue swirling over your buds, and you shook under him. Not because it felt cold, but because his tender caresses just felt so good. You didn’t have the feeling that he could do anything wrong with whatever he carried out, that was your impression about how well your bodies meshed together.

No, you didn’t hate Jaehyun. You had always only hated how he had presented himself to you. But there was so much more to him.

Sweat droplets showed on his forehead when he continued with the hard thrusts again, the sound of you both breathing heavily mixing together with the sloppy noises of your bodies moving against each other filling the room, but no matter how messy sex was, it was the most romantic thing you had experienced in a long time.

Your eye contact also didn’t break when Jaehyun arose above you, his sweaty chest glistening in the dim light that shone through your windows, and increased his pace even more. When he dropped his head and bit his lip in the process, you wrapped your arms around him and added pressure to your nether regions as you felt him approaching his heights.

It felt very good to you too, but you were by any means not as far as him yet, so you didn’t blame him when he came only a short moment after with a groan that sounded sexy as hell to you.

You held him tightly when he fell limply onto your chest, still breathing heavily from the orgasm that slowly faded. Staring at the ceiling, you smiled with him in your arms, just enjoying the moment when Jaehyun moved away from you.

“We’re not done here yet,” you saw him grin as he laid himself next to you, rolled onto the side and placed his head in his palms as he propped his elbow against the mattress.

You wondered what was to come when you felt his finger tips dragging from your thighs to your navel, then lower again and stopped right at your most sensitive spot.

“Oh!” you let out as he placed two fingers on your folds and started moving them up and down with your remaining juices as lube that made the intense feeling kick in almost immediately.

You screamed when he added pressure and now directed circling motions around the sensitive bundle of nerves. From your half-closed eyes, you witnessed him looking at you with such admiration but also cheekiness as you writhed and wreathed under him, yet spread your legs even wider as release was so close.

Jaehyun leaned in to you, his fingers not letting go of the continuity as he half covered your body with his and just kissed you passionately. Like this, he encountered first hand how the orgasm took over you, and you moaned into his mouth, riding it out against his hand.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when he wrapped his arms around you right after and pulled you onto his chest, and you drifted off into a slumber shortly after.

Even though the first tendencies of your bad consciousness set in before you closed your eyes, you decided that this would be the problem of tomorrow.

No, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun.

If anything, you should probably hate yourself.

___

“YES… YES… YESYESYES, OHMYGOD!”

You heard your friend from the other side of the wall, having rudely awakened you in the early morning hours. At least you thought so. But a glimpse at your phone through sleepy eyes told you that it was past 11am already.

Within a second, you were wide awake.

You were still naked, but the clothes on your floor only belonged to you, and the spot next to you in the bed was empty.

“OH!MY!GOD!.... YES! OH… OH.... AAAAH… OHOHOH… YES!!”

Jaehyun was gone. At least from your room.

Your best friend’s headboard constantly bumped against the wall, and you grabbed your pillow to cover your ears with it. You didn’t want to hear the sounds. Not because they stole your sleep, but because somehow, for the first time, you didn’t feel disturbed by the noise, but actually hurt.

In your mind, you imagined Jaehyun’s mesmerizing smile, the witty expression he was constantly wearing and his deep voice that had showed you for the first time last night that there was a certain softness within it.

You felt hurt, because you knew all the things from last night had been real between you two, yet he was still fucking your best friend mere hours later. What you had shared and felt had been special, yet he was still with her.

And suddenly, you felt hate again. But towards yourself. For betraying your best friend with him. But first and foremost, for betraying yourself.

You had never hated Jung Jaehyun.

You had always felt some certain kind of attraction towards him, but kept telling yourself you hated him to push him as far away from you as possible. If this wouldn’t be so wrong under these circumstances, this attraction would feel right and could blossom. But like this, you could never come to enjoy this feeling entirely.

Your relationship had been doomed from the very start, because given the wicked circumstances, you would never be able to form a healthy relationship. It was like a stain that would never vanish on a white sheet.

So you just decided to continue as usual. To keep this a secret between the both of you and just to carry on with your life.

And to hate Jung Jaehyun just a little more.

You just didn’t know how to feel and act towards your best friend without feeling so much… regret.

“Good morning.”

But the young man stepping out of your best friend’s room wasn’t Jaehyun. But Johnny.

You sat there in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your mouth agape. And then it started to rattle in your head.

Lately, there were times when your best friend had screamed the name “Jaehyun!” loudly during the act. Those were the times you had actually seen him the next morning. But the nights she hadn’t screamed a certain name, no one had ever come out. And those times, you had counted more than the ones with Jaehyun in the past weeks, just when their loud arguments started on a nearly daily basis.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked without greeting her good morning as you walked into her room.

“Oh, we had a fight last night,” she explained to you while getting herself dressed casually. “And then we broke up. I went away to be with Johnny after throwing him out, and we’ve only gotten back this morning. I hope he left last night already and didn’t stay here.”

“What?” you wondered.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“You actually already got over it as I’ve seen!”

“Oh, Johnny?”

“You’ve been fucking him for weeks already?” you provoked.

She shrugged again. “Perhaps a month… So what?”

You stood there, totally lost for words. “You’ve been crying about Jaehyun to me ever since you got together! That he flirted with other women, ditched you, went to parties and ignored you! And now you’re telling me you’ve been cheating on him for quite a while?! And this instagram story drama from last week?”

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed. “Okay, admittedly, I’m not an angel in this story, but he is by far neither! He was not. There were many things he has done wrong in the past. But then he actually started… doing nothing wrong. Being the picture perfect boyfriend without all these flaws and drama. And perhaps, this is not something that I want, so I started to look around elsewhere.”

“So…” You paused, still processing the shock. “Was it all an act? All the times you’ve cried to me over him lately while cheating behind his back?”

“Not an act, precisely,” she said reluctantly. “Yes, he explained every situation to me. And I was being dramatic over it for nothing, perhaps. I don’t know… I still enjoyed being with him though, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. I want to have men just… telling me I’m right, always coming back to me… what’s a relationship without fire? But Jaehyun didn’t want to do this anymore.”

In your head, you recalled everything that Jaehyun had told you. About there being two sides of the same coin, about you being so oblivious. All this time, he knew that she had cheated on him. He knew what you thought of him, yet he had never made a move to ever explain it to you.

But why?

“As he should,” you then stated. “How you treated him was awful!”

“Only because I cheated on him a few times?” she chuckled. “Come on!”

“I’m your best friend, and yet you lied to me! You twisted and turned stories so that you’d always be the one at right! But the truth is, you’re the bad person here. Not him.”

“Now what? He’s gone from our lives. Don’t care about him.”

But the truth was, you did. Now more than about her.

That was why, an hour later, you found yourself in front of his dorm. When he opened shortly after you had knocked, you stared at him, still gasping for air as you had run the entire way here, with all the memories from last night coming back with each step.

“She’s been cheating on you,” were the only words you brought out.

“I know.”

“For how long?” you asked.

“I assume for just as long.”

You breathed in heavily, not understanding a word. “But why did you stay with her?”

Jaehyun smiled meekly. “Because I don’t think I deserve a good person like you are.”

It ran hot and cold down your back. “I… I don’t understand.”

He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, and even though he seemed uncomfortable talking about his feelings, he still did.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend for her most times in this relationship, I admit this openly. We weren’t really good for each other and it destroyed me to the point that I wanted to change. But when I started being the boyfriend she had wished for, it wasn’t right either and she started cheating. So I just settled with it. Because I thought I screwed up to that point where I won’t be able to make anyone happy anymore and also don’t deserve the same in return. Even though I only wanted you...”

“You douche!” You stomped with your feet on the ground.

“What?” he returned perplexed with furrowed brows.

“Everyone deserves love and to love! And you’re not different from anyone else!”

His confusion got replaced with a mild smile. “You’re so kind, y/n. That’s one of the things I like the most about you. But you’re also oblivious.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, scrolled through his messenger and started playing a voice message from a very familiar person.

“Why do you even care about this bitch, Jaehyun?!” In the background, you heard music and other people talking. “She’s a stupid nerd, and I’ve only befriended her because she helps me studying and listens to my complains since we’re dorm mates, so don’t even waste a single thought about this party pooper!”

You stood there as though you had been rendered motionless. Your heart had dropped to your feet.

“This is from last night when I quickly went outside again to check whether you rode away safely with your uber and she couldn’t find me directly. That’s why we argued and broke up. No, it’s not the first time she’s talked about you like this.” He put his phone away. “I thought letting you hate me would make it easier for a kind person like you to keep their distance from someone like me. Because, in the end, I will only hurt you too. But the more I started to genuinely like you, the more I felt protective towards you. I couldn’t see her speaking about you like this anymore.”

Your breathing came in hitches as your whole world suddenly crashed over you. Your best friend wasn’t your best friend. She had probably never been.

You stumbled backwards, and Jaehyun stepped forward to grab you by your arm, but you pulled it away.

“I…. I just…” you stuttered. “I have to… talk to her.”

“Sure.”

The whole way home, you only cried.

Not over Jaehyun, but over the betrayal of someone you had considered your best friend, yet had hurt you in the most painful way like no man ever could. And the fact that you had been an asshole to her to the same extent after having slept with her boyfriend the same night they had broken up was probably the final straw.

You were no saint here. You had added to your both’s downfall just as much. And it hurt much more than any heartbreak you had experienced so far.

You had to sort your life out and right now, and amongst this chaos there was no place for Jaehyun in your life.

____

You put the last vase with dried flowers on your shelf, stepped backwards to your room’s door and inspected the final set up.

“Finished!” you praised yourself.

It had taken you three months to move to a new dorm, but this was your last step to a new chapter in your life.

You hadn’t had contact with your former best friend ever since your final conversation in which you had handed the keys over to her. The many conversations before had only consisted of screams, accusations and tears.

She had admitted to saying all those things about you, but also to genuinely have come like you. You weren’t so sure whether that was real or one of her lies again. You had admitted to sleeping with Jaehyun, and she would have forgiven you for that as she hadn’t been really in love with him anymore at this point, but you were sure you didn’t want either in your life anymore.

Your best friend because she had hurt you deeply, and Jaehyun because of your burdensome history. All of you had done so many wrong things, and you were only a bundle of toxic people together, so chaotic that you were better off apart from each other.

But you didn’t want to be this toxic kind of person anymore. So you moved out and left your old life behind.

You didn’t go to that class with Jaehyun anymore, and although you missed him, the touches of your joint night still present on your skin sometimes, you wanted to move on from even the mere imaginations of him as well. You were sure that you’d find a guy just like him, but you missed him wherever you went and couldn’t help but ask yourself “what if?”

The fact that he hadn’t reached out to you either made it easier, and as summer break came and passed, and the new semester started, you had kissed two news guys already, made a new friend group and were just overall happy.

But you still missed Jaehyun dearly and all the possibilities of what could have happened if only your timing had been right in life. Even if he wasn’t the right one for you.

“Is this seat taken?”

And then, one day, there he was again. Taking the seat next to you as though no time had ever passed between the two of you, smiling that mesmerizing smile you didn’t hate.

You only stared at him, and his kind expression didn’t break. When you moved your head to the front again where the professor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but to smile too. Because this wasn’t the expression of a bad person.

People changed, and just like good traits could turn into bad traits, a bad person could turn into a good one also. And they all deserved a second chance.

You had only known the Jaehyun from your best friend’s perspective, and then also his body. But even though you had gotten a glimpse of the real Jaehyun here and there, you didn’t quite know him entirely yet.

But you wanted to. The good, the bad, the real. Jaehyun wasn’t the right one for you, but such a thing didn’t exist. What mattered were only your feelings.

Because in fact, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun. At all.

[catboyantichrist]

hi! may i please request the brothers with an MC who's cat came with them to the Devildom?

the cat is very loud and very mischievous but also very sweet :)

bonus cat photos:

thank you so much!! have a wonderful day and good luck with the new blog!

BHJFLHRAUGARL YOUR CAT IS ADORABLE- they deserve the best out of this world. You have a good day too ^^ and thank you!

☆The Brothers Living With GN!MC's Cat☆

Let's paint the scene. You just got home after a long day, and you just wanted to forget everything that happened. You decided to spend time with your precious cat! Sadly the little shit decided to scratch you and all of the furniture around you.

"Can we just have one calm day?" You yelled out at your cat. The cat doesn't give a response and just decides to jump off of the fridge they resided on.

You caught your cat and was about to give them the lecture of a lifetime (as if they could listen) when suddenly you stumble back. You, and your cat both land on the floor of RAD.

It's been a few months. You and your cat both live in the House of Lamentation. Your cat has never been more well behaved. I guess cats do belong in Hell, cause (most) of the brothers adore them. This is some of the things you've caught the brothers doing with your cat.

Lucifer:

-"Is that... a cat? Why must Diavolo never warn me about these things."

-Lucifer is frustrated. I mean you can even see his eye twitching slightly if you look fast enough. He's been telling Satan for centuries that he isn't allowed to get a cat, and now there's one here. Another responsibility to look after.

-That frustrated with your cat lasts a total of 2 weeks, until he actually connects with the cat? He's like the Dad who never wanted a pet and then loves them the most.

-He keeps tons of cat toys in his office, and a special cat bed so that there's somewhere where they can hide if the brothers are fighting for their attention. Of course, MC is always welcome to do the same.

Mammon:

-"AHHHH SOMEBODY HELP! THE GREAT MAMMON IS GETTING ATTACKED!!"

-Mammon's not getting attacked, your cat is just playing with the feathered keychain on his belt.

-It takes Mammon a minute, but eventually he understands what the cat is doing.

-"Not on my watch! How dare ya play with my precious keychain!". Mammon gives in almost immediately once your cat scratches him.

-Your cat and Mammon have some sort of rivalry going on, as Mammon will continuously hide objects from your cat that they're trying to steal.

-Mammon will also try to take pictures of your cat asleep so that he can sell them. One time he found you sleeping with your cat, and immediately got jealous. I swear you could even see the cat make a face similar to a smirk

-"I'm their first ya hear?! You wont get away with this!"

-Make sure to treat Mammon and your cat equally, they'll eventually make a truce and get along

Leviathan:

-"Don't let that little normie anywhere NEAR my fish!"

-Yeah um... Levi isn't a huge fan of your cat. Mainly because they tried to eat Henry once and it traumatized the both of them.

-Although Levi and your cats relationship started to mend once he saw them annoy the crap out of Mammon. Of course he recorded it and uploaded it to DevilTube!

-When the video went viral, an idea stuck Levi, he helps Asmo run your cat's Devilgram, but Levi mainly uploads videos of your cat attacking Mammon.

-One time Lucifer made Levi come to school for a student council meeting and he took that as the opportunity to bring your cat to school to scare other demons.

-Levi isn't required to go to school for anything anymore.

Satan:

-It is taking all of Satan's power not to spontaneously combust at the sight out of your cat. First of all, it's a cat second, Lucifer will go INSANE at the sight of this. Or well, he will overtime.

-Definitely tries to spend the most time with your cat, mainly by hanging out with you. At first he was just using you for the cat but overtime he started enjoying your company more and more.

-Did... did Lucifer connect with the cat? Satan is devastated. You're probably going to have to spend a few days with Satan and cheer him up, preferably by dates to the library? 😏

-Well there's no problem anyways, after one of the dates you and Satan went on, your cat came rushing to Satan. Did this make him tear up a bit? Maybe, but he knew your cat loved him!

-Which of course they do, but I think they loved the food in Satan's pocket a bit more.

Asmodeus:

-Congratulations! Your cat is now the centerpiece of Asmo's new outfits. They're perfect for the aesthetic he's wanting to go for anyways.

-He will spend tons of time caring for your cat, and also buying them accessories! Sometimes... a bit much. You'll see your cat waddling around with a massive sweater on them sometimes.

-Asmo now brings a fur roller everywhere he goes. He finds your cat absolutely adorable! But the cat fur not so much. He will not hesitate to completely bar off his room if he has too. What if one of his future admirers come to his room and are allergic to cats!

-Asmo does enjoy cuddling with you and your cat of course! After all he would get to spend time with two adorable creatures!

Beelzebub:

-Beel no. Don't eat the cat!!

-It doesn't take long for Beel to catch on that the cat isn't food, and once he does he immediately gets attached to the small creature. He always makes sure that your cat is well fed.

-Although sometimes a bit too well fed, you know he means well but you're gonna have to teach him how much food is okay for a human world cat to eat.

-Playing with the cat is so much fun! If your cat wasn't active before, they are now. Beel's cheery attitude even puts your cat in a good mood! Although he did try to take your cat on a walk once... never again.

Belphegor:

-Two words. Cuddle buddy. Normally your cat is fine with cuddling, but sometimes Belphie's death grip is hard to handle. If your not careful you can hear your cats faint meows for mercy as Belphie is latched onto the cat for dear life.

-Obviously he's not hurting the cat, he tries to be as gentle as possible but unlike Belphie, the cat doesn't sleep 24/7.

-One night Belphie turned on his star projector in his room and noticed your cat bouncing around trying to scratch/eat the stars. He now likes to turn on the projector and move it around to let your cat play. Extra points because it requires minimal effort.

-If he finds you and your cat cuddling while asleep he will join you. The cat doesn't dare to even try and scratch him because even they know that Belphie gives no mercy.

[skinnyducky]

misery, misery // v.h.

a/n writing this was so fun ! i was like in my beyonce “lemonade” bag with this one. also as it says this is inspired by “hope ur miserable until ur dead” by nessa so if you wanna catcha vibe.. go bump it while you read this. to the anon who requested this, i hope this is what you were asking for :)

Word Count: 1460, edited

WARNING: heartbreak, language, mentions of fire, cheating, angst, and a sadistic y/n.. that’s all i think.

---------

Being crazy wasn’t something you were accustomed to. You were a sweet girl; the girl who sat in the back of the class and got her work done, the girl who spent evenings practicing her violin, the girl who everyone adored for her niceness but hated for being a goody-two-shoes. That was you. At least that was you fifteen minutes ago.

You see, you were in the middle of screaming and shouting on your bathroom floor as tears poured down your face. Your friend had just informed you of your boyfriend, Vinnie’s infidelity. Not only was he sleeping with one girl, but he was messing around with five others. You wanted to believe that Vinnie wasn’t capable of hurting you, that there was no way he would cheat on you. But then you recalled back to the rumors going on around school of him being a player. You tried your damnedest to not believe what people said, but now, you know they weren’t just rumors.

The minute you found out; it was like a fuse blew inside you. Heat and anger filled your body as you leaped off your bed and began trashing your room. You smashed your vanity mirror, ripped your pillows, and shattered your lamp. To say you were just mad would be an understatement, you were livid. Not even the pits of hell could compare to the fire burning within you. You tried everything you could to calm down, but nothing helped. So instead, you ran into your bathroom and after destroying that, you lied on the rug and cried till you couldn’t cry no more.

Now here you were, rocking back and forth on the floor as you contemplated what you were going to do with Vinnie. He still didn’t know you knew about him cheating and while part of you wanted to call him and give him a piece of your mind, you decided against that. Instead, you wanted him to feel the way you felt. You wanted him to feel so much misery, so much pain to the point where he couldn’t take it anymore. And you knew just the way to do that. Through his car.

His car was like a prized possession to him. He treated it as if it was a child. Whenever you two went out, he’d flaunt it off as if it was some kind of trophy. You thought it was cute at first but now, it just annoyed you thinking about it.

Getting up, you stomped out of your bathroom. You tore off your sweater, leaving you in just your tank top and school skirt. You exchanged your flats for a pair of combat boots and reached into your drawer for your black opera-length gloves. As you slipped them on, you marched out of your room and downstairs into the garage. You searched around until your eyes landed on the gas can in the corner.

“Bullseye.” You smiled sadistically, picking it up. After grabbing a box of matches, you opened the garage door and stormed off down the street to Vinnie’s house.

It didn’t take that long for you to reach his place, you two didn’t live very far from each other. Upon reaching the Hacker residence, you noticed not only Vinnie’s car, but another one in his driveway. And this one didn’t belong to his parents.

You stepped up to his door and gently knocked on it. Within a few minutes, the door opened and a blonde girl you knew from physics stood in front of you. The smile she wore fell the second her eyes landed on you.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?”

“Is Vinnie here?” you grinned, ignoring her question. You hid the gas can behind you as you swayed from side to side. “I got something for him, and I just couldn’t wait till tomorrow to show him.”

She swallowed hard. “Uh, I don’t think-“

“Cut the bullshit.” You said, your newfound attitude catching her off-guard. “I know he’s here and if I were you, I’d tell him to come to the door before I do more with this gas than what I plan to.”

The girl ran back into the house and in a few seconds, Vinnie was standing at the door, his playmate standing behind him. “Y/n, what’s up? What’s going on?” Vinnie asked, his eyes landing on the gas in your hands.

“I just found out some interesting news today!” You exclaimed. “I don’t know if you’ve heard. Have you?”

“Heard what?” He questioned.

“Well, apparently, my boyfrie-…oh EX-boyfriend, must think I’m a fool and that I wouldn’t find out about him sticking his dick in places where he shouldn’t be sticking them.”

“Y/n-“

You growled, stomping your foot down onto the pavement. He jumped in fear. “Do NOT ‘Y/n’ me! Do you know how fucking stupid I look? I tried to fucking give you the benefit of the doubt, Vinnie! I didn’t give into the rumors; I didn’t believe you to be a fuckboy…and guess what? I was fucking wrong!”

“Y/n, listen to me. What I did, I know I was wrong.” Vinnie “apologized”. You scoffed at him as you began pacing on his porch. “Let me ask you something, all those times you said you loved me, that you cared about me…what that true? Hm? Or was that all a fucking lie?”

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say?” Vinnie sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I will admit I cared about you, Y/n. I really did, but I needed something more. You just weren’t cutting it.”

“Shut the hell up, you dirty fucking cheat!” You screamed, stepping towards him. “You didn’t give a damn about me, because if you did…you wouldn’t have gone and cheated on me!”

He held his hands up in defense and said, “It’s not my fault, Y/n. You knew better than to not believe what people were saying. You took a chance on me, even though you knew the outcome. The signs were there, you just didn’t take them.”

“Is that right?” You smirked. He nodded in response. “Well, if that’s the case then you obviously knew what the outcome of your actions would be. You knew you were going to hurt me with what you did. Just as I’m facing the repercussions for even thinking I could have a relationship with you, you’re going to face them too.”

Vinnie eyes looked to you with confusion. “What are you talking about, Y/n?”

You didn’t reply but instead waved the gas can in front of him with an evil grin on your face. Out of fear, Vinnie and blondie covered their faces, expecting you to drench them in gas. But instead, they were met with nothing of the sort. They dropped their hands wondering what the hell you were planning to do. Though, the minute they saw you strutting over to their cars, they knew what was going down.

“Y/n, are you serious!” Vinnie shrieked, running over to you. Before he could even reach you, you pointed the gas at him. “Don’t even think of coming closer, Hacker. I won’t hesitate to light you up too.”

He stepped back, gulping in fear. “We can talk this out, Y/n. We don’t have to do anything irrational.”

“You don’t get it, do you? The damage is already done, baby. You already dug your grave, and now you have to sleep in it.”

With a smile, you began dousing the cars with gas. It was thrilling for you seeing Vinnie in a vulnerable state. The way he made you feel an hour ago was how you were making him feel. Sure, it was a bit outlandish to set his—and the girl’s—car on fire. But you wanted him in pain…and you were getting your wish.

After you finished dousing the cars, you pulled out the matches.

“Y/n, think about this!” Vinnie shouted. “You do this, and you go to jail! Spare yourself the trouble!”

You pretended to think for few minutes. Then you giggled at him and shook your head. “Eh, it’s worth it.” As those words left your mouth, you sparked up a match and threw it at the cars. You stepped back and watched as the vehicles lit up in beautiful fiery flames.

“What the FUCK is wrong with that bitch!?” Blondie screamed, running over beside Vinnie. “You’re going to be hearing from my lawyers, you freak!”

You ignored her and continued to spectate them as they freaked out and hopped around like Sims at the sight of fire. Eventually, you got bored and decided to ditch the scene. You walked back to your house with your conscious clear and your heart filled with joy at the sight of Vinnie’s misery.

[harry-writings]

Bothered

- A blurb in which somebody flirts with Y/n for the first time, and Harry lets jealousy get the best of him

This is a little Drive Me Wild extra for all your valentine’s day needs!!! I hope you enjoy :) 

Masterlist

-

“Tequila, please. The best one you’ve got!”

Open bars at work parties are an absolute lifesaver.

Harry and Y/n have been nonstop on their feet since three, wearing their sunday best, talking to all the higher ups and other officials at the firm with as much professionalism as possible. And though it was certainly a nice break from the work setting, it was still a lot for the both of them to keep up with.

It’s nearly eleven now, the party near its end and the exhaustion finally settling in. But Y/n wouldn’t ever dream of passing up unlimited free drinks whenever offered (neither would Harry, but getting her home safe is his biggest priority). Besides, she needed to take the edge off, somehow.

The bartender smiles at her, his eyes looking at her up and down very briefly before making her drink.

She’s humming softly to herself, her fingers tapping against the bar, the palm of her other hand resting on the back of her neck and she looks around the venue, admiring the architecture and the chandeliers that hang from above her.

“How long have you been working for them?” The bartender asks as he slides the shotglass to her, to which Y/n smiles.

“Almost three years! It’s been really good to me so far. I must say, though, it gets a bit stressful and there are a handful of times we end up having to take our work home. But I’ve met some of the best people through the company, so I can’t complain much! Especially when this is the only job I’ve ever considered staying at for so long.”

When the bartender doesn’t answer, yet rather just stares at her with amusement and endearment in his eye, Y/n starts to get nervous.

She considers diverting her attention back to Harry and moving on with her night as if she hadn’t spoken a word at all, but she’s never been the kind of person to walk away from an uncomfortable silence. And most certainly, she has never found it in her will to escape somebody’s pressing and persistent stares.

All of it just makes her so anxious.

So, as an attempt to calm her nerves, Y/n throws her head back as she takes her shot of tequila, her nose scrunching and eyes squinting as it burns down her throat and settles in her chest.

“What about you? How long have you been working as a bartender? I’ve heard it’s a lot of work, remembering all the recipes and stuff. Whenever I went to university, I would go to bars and get drunk by myself and watch how fast all the bartenders made drinks. I found it mesmerising, really. Like an art, almost. A sport, too, I suppose, given how much you all have to think and act quickly yet unmistakably.”

Harry smiles softly to himself, a bittersweet feeling bubbling in his chest as he listens to her get caught up in her rambles.

She doesn’t do that much with him anymore, not in the way she used to. And it isn’t because she’s lost any trust in him, or because she loves him any less — rather, it’s because she trusts and loves him so much more that she doesn’t feel the need to fill any gaps or spaces between them anymore.

He doesn’t make her nervous.

She doesn’t need reassurance with him because she already knows how madly in love they are with one another and how they are undeniably bound to spend the rest of their lives together. The silences they share are comfortable for her, his simple presence enough to make her feel at ease and loved and respected without him having to constantly remind her.

And surely, Y/n still chews his ear off here and there, but he only ever wants more of her.

It’s a disease, his greed and longing for her. She is so enough yet so not enough at the same time, it kills him to think about it, but only in the best way possible.

But the smile and the admiration die down nearly instantly when Harry’s eyes catch the way the bartender looks at Y/n, and the way he straightens himself before her, and the way his bottom lip tucks between his teeth ever so slightly.

Harry crosses his arms at this, watching the way another man is drooling and fonding over his Y/n and not at all trying to hide it. And the sad part is that he can’t even blame him for it — how could he? He had done the very same thing for nearly two years straight.

So he suffers with it in silence.

“My goodness, I do love me a woman who can carry a conversation.”

Harry’s eyes squint over at him, his arms still crossed over his chest, his fingers twisting as he watches him blink flirtatiously at Y/n and the upward twitch of his lip whenever she flips her hair over her shoulder.

She only ever does that when she’s sweating, he knows this because she’s his girlfriend and he knows her more than he’s ever known himself. He also knows that Y/n thinks too lowly of herself to ever consider one’s kindness as flirting.

And though Harry wouldn’t dare to dream of changing anything about her, he does wish, just this once, that she’d see it.

Y/n blushes at his comment, but only because she doesn’t know what to say.

“Can I have another shot, please?” She asks as a form of distraction, but in such a sweet manner the bartender barely seems to notice. “I never get to go out to drink much nowadays, with work and all. So, I’m sorry if I order too much. Large groups of people aren’t really my thing. Not that I hate people, or anything. I guess they just make me nervous.”

And as the bartender pours her shot glass full of tequila, his eyes don’t make the slightest move to leave her. He’s gawking, looking smug as if he could ever stand a chance.

Y/n pretends not to notice.

“Look, I close down the bar in an hour. And since large groups of people aren’t really your thing, why don’t I take you somewhere nice —”

“Oh...”

“— just you and me, so I can have the chance to get to know you more? Maybe in more ways than one, if I’m lucky?”

Oh, fuck no.

Flirting is one thing, but listening as some stranger talks about wanting to have sex with his girlfriend is something entirely different. Especially when she hasn’t done anything other than be nice and considerate towards him.

He’s taking advantage of her kindness.

Harry can’t hold himself back anymore.

“Excuse me?”

And curse his fucking natural lack of emotion because it was supposed to sound threatening and protective, but rather, it must have come off the way any other customer were to grab a bartender’s attention because he looks over at him with a tight and strained smile, clearly laced with annoyance, with not a hint of suspicion.

“Yes, sir, what can I help you with?”

Harry clenches his jaw and nods his head, his gaze falling to the top of the bar as he tries — really, really tries — to keep himself together instead of knocking this poor bloke’s teeth in.

The urge is there, but he could never scare Y/n like that, or sacrifice his job for satisfaction’s sake — he was lucky he didn’t jeopardize it when he landed a solid right hook on his coworker a few months back. But to make such a rude, blunt, disrespectful comment to his girlfriend is too much for him to process.

But it’s not all anger. There’s something else there — something else brewing and swelling inside of him that’s never been there before. He can’t identify it no matter how hard he tries.

“It would help me tremendously, actually, if you were to stop asking to sleep with my girlfriend right in front of me.”

It’s silent for a moment, the air thick with tension as the bartender looks both between Harry and Y/n, Y/n and Harry. He looks weary of it, as if it were so impossible for her to ever be seen with somebody like him.

“You’re with him?” He asks Y/n, as if Harry’s word wasn’t enough and it nearly throws him off the deep end.

Y/n’s eyes blink with confusion and shock as she tries to adjust herself to her surroundings. Everything happened so quickly to her, she feels like she can’t keep up.

Harry senses this — he senses her uncertainty and uneasiness and takes notice in the way her fingers begin to grip at her shot glass a bit tighter. Confrontation and arguments are not Y/n’s strong suit and in the hands of either one, she is defenseless.

“Is my word not enough for you?”

The bartender lifts his hands up in defense, his eyebrows raised as if somehow proving a point he’s clearly been missing. “Can’t blame me for assuming she’s single, you’re sitting next to the prettiest girl on earth and you look like you couldn’t even be bothered.”

Harry’s hands turn to fists, his jaw clenching and eyebrows twitching as he hears him speak all the words he’d rather die than hear spoken again.

How a complete stranger can cut a wound so deep within him is unfathomable, but here he is, bleeding out with all his insecurities and flaws and weaknesses along with it. And it pains him. It hurts and if one more wrong word is spoken, he’ll fall victim to all the darkest parts of himself.

He can’t risk that, not around Y/n.

“I would highly suggest you stop talking now —”

“You aren’t even interested in her! I gave her more attention in the last ten minutes than you’ve given her all night!”

“Hey.” Y/n cuts in with pouted lips, her face fallen as her voice quivers at the argument brewing in front of her. “That’s not true. He — he’s been beside me all night. I thought it was — I thought it was obvious.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore. We’re going home.”

Harry’s tone is unlike anything she’s ever heard. It’s stern, harsh, laced with impatience as he stands from his barstool and scrambles to gather her belongings.

And Y/n’s at a loss, just standing against the bar helplessly, looking at Harry with tearful eyes and shaking lips. He has never been this angry at her before and she doesn’t know how to fix it. Talking was what got them into this mess, she’s sure talking won’t get themselves out of it.

But it doesn’t hurt to try.

“Wait, H. I’m sorry, I —”

“That’s enough, now. We’re making our last rounds and then we’re going straight home.”

That was the first time he’s ever interrupted her.

-

It isn’t until Harry starts the car that Y/n breaks the silence.

“H, I didn’t know he was going to ask me out on a date.” She speaks with a voice small and shoulders slumped as she tries desperately to fix all the trust she has broken. “I was just trying to be nice and —”

“Not now, Y/n, please.”

She realizes the severity of the situation when he doesn’t call her a pet name.

Her eyes fill with tears, fully aware that even when he was most upset with her, he never interrupted her while talking or avoided her gaze like it was the last thing he ever wanted to see. He’s doing both right now and to say that it hurt her is an understatement.

He’s sick of hearing me speak. He’s angry at me for talking too much to everybody and not noticing the consequences. He’s tired of listening to me make excuses for myself when I’m never going to change. He doesn’t want this anymore.

Her mind can’t help but to think such things, and though deep down in her heart she knows he’d never feel that way towards her, words of her past can’t help but torment her in the heat of this moment. Because this is so different than how it usually is with him, and it all started with her.

Harry can feel how much of a toll his words took on her, but he doesn’t know what to say. He is feeling so many things, and processing so much, he feels like he’s lost himself. All sense of everything else had left him the second the bartender spoke the words he always feared to hear.

You’re sitting next to the prettiest girl on earth and you look like you couldn’t even be bothered.

He knows it isn’t true, and he also knows she knows it isn’t true, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

To know other people see it that way devastates him. He doesn’t date Y/n to look uninterested in her, or bored of her, or tired to be with her — he dates Y/n because he wants to show her off, desires to make her and everybody else see how in love with her he is, to make it known she never has to walk this world alone.

To know he has failed to do that simply by being himself is a lot for him to take in.

He sighs, ripping off his glasses so his other hand can rub at his burning eyes before settling the both of them back on the steering wheel, his gaze still set on the windshield.

“I’m sorry for not letting you finish talking, twice now. It wasn’t right and I know what that does to you. And I’m not angry or upset with you, either. I’m just — I’m just not in the mood right now, alright? I need some time to think.”

Y/n nods, fearing that whatever words she chooses to speak will only make it worse.

Neither of them talk the rest of the way home, but that doesn’t mean Harry doesn’t reach his hand over to her thigh to squeeze at it three times, as if to tell her he loves her.

-

It isn’t until they make it into their bedroom that Harry starts to let it all out.

He’s pacing, his hands fidgeting with his clothes and running through his hair, his eyes wild but still refusing to look at her, muttering curses under his breath but nothing directly towards her just yet.

Y/n’s standing by the dresser, taking off her remaining jewelry and allowing him his time to dwell on his feelings. He needs this. She knows she’s the only person that he’ll ever show this kind of emotion to — he couldn't even show it to himself — so she listens, smiles sympathetically at him here and there, refusing to leave his side until this is all figured out.

He huffs before letting out a sickened laugh.

“Who the hell does he think he is? Telling me I’m not interested in you. I can’t be walking around kissing and hovering and touching all over you at a work party, I respect you too much. But he wouldn’t know a damn thing about that, would he?”

He throws his suit jacket down on the bed, only allowing himself one beat of a moment to shake his head before his hands start to fidget again, pacing around the foot of the bed to try and understand his primary emotion.

He feels a million and ten different emotions scrambling within him at once, he can’t make sense of them. Whether he’s angry, or sad, or hurt, or insecure, or humiliated… he doesn’t know. It all feels the same yet all feels so different. He is utterly lost in all of them.

“Then proceeds to have the nerve to say he’s given you more attention than I have. What the fuck does that even mean? All he does is serve you two drinks and speak one sentence. I give you all my time, all my company, all my attention, and somehow he thinks he’s better for you than me?”

And it hits her.

No wonder he’s been acting so different towards her and so quiet despite him not blaming her for what happened — he’s jealous, which is the exact reason he doesn’t have an understanding with it.

She’s his first girlfriend, and until now, there had never been any reason for him to feel this way.

But as sick and twisted as it sounds, Y/n’s heart warms at the thought of it. Because never once has someone ever had a problem with letting her go. Her loss never affected anybody around her, and so nobody had ever feared it.

To know that out of all people, it’s him who does, means everything to her.

She hums at him, an all too knowing smile on her face as she makes her way to her frantic lover, who stills when he notices her closeness.

Her hands rest at his chest, rubbing at it over his dress shirt, just the way he likes. It reminds him of the night of their first date — when she gave into her cravings and put her hands nearly everywhere they could touch — and so she always goes back to that very first moment.

It never fails him.

“It’s okay, lovebug.” Y/n smiles softly at him, her voice even more soft and tender than usual as she tries to get him to relax.

Her hands slither down the hem of his trousers, her fingers resting just above the swell of his bum and pulling him in closer to her. And he wraps his arms around her shoulders, a heavy sigh leaving his lips before bringing his chest toward her cheek for it to nest in.

“Don’t let somebody get the best of you. Especially when they don’t know anything about you or me or our relationship. We know what we are and what we have, it doesn’t matter what he thinks is better for me. I have what’s best. Forever.”

He sighs, the weight of the night lifting from him slightly, but not enough.

He rests his chin on the top of her head, his eyes on the verge of being soaked with tears. Because though he knows her words to be true, he just can’t seem to shake what’s rattling in his bones and picking at his skin.

He wants it all to be okay, and it almost is, just not fully. And it’s killing him from the inside out.

“It’s a new feeling for me.” Harry confesses sadly, trying to think of the right words to say to explain what’s burning in his chest. “It hurts me to feel it. I’m so comfortable and confident in you and yet somehow I can’t — I can’t stop thinking about you and that fucking bartender and him touching you and making you laugh and —”

“You’re jealous.”

She pulls away from him slightly, her eyes looking up at him softly and sympathetically. He gives into her gaze for only a beat longer before looking away from her again, unable to take it.

It all makes sense — the unfamiliar feelings, the scrambling of emotions, the sensitivity to the words that had been spoken about him. His relationship had been threatened for the first time since it started, how could he not be?

“Of course I’m jealous. Which is absolutely horrible because you look so pretty yet it hurts too much to look at you.”

She chuckles, a playful smirk on her face as she reaches her hands up to his cheeks. And she turns his head to the side, forcing his eyes to look into hers as she rubs her thumb along his cheekbones.

Even like this, he is the most perfect man she’s ever seen. She has loved this person longer than she has loved anything else, how he could ever feel jealous of anybody is absolutely beyond her. He is all she will ever need, and everything she will ever want.

He is the only person that has ever deserved her.

“Baby, you have nothing to be jealous of. I don’t think, since the moment I’ve laid eyes on you, I’ve ever bothered to look for anybody else.” His breath faults, then, his heart dropping as if it were falling in love all over again.

And just like that, the hurt is gone.

“I’m yours, H. I have always been yours.”

He wants her to keep going, so instead of answering, he taps the back of her thigh twice. He’s never done so outside of sex, but he needs her all over him, holding him, hanging onto him. He needs it now more than ever.

She giggles, understanding exactly what he wants before jumping up until her legs are wrapped around his waist and her arms are looped around his neck. He catches her instantly, snuggling his face into the crook of her neck and kissing at the exposed skin.

She loves how much her words have an affect on him.

“I love you so much. I always will. No matter how many sleazy men ask me to sleep with them.”

He whines, lifting his head from her shoulder before looking at her with sad eyes and pouted lips at the subtle reminder that somebody else thought of her that way. Only he has, only he can, it doesn’t matter the circumstance.

She’s his.

She smiles down at him with a small blush on her cheeks, her arms unwrapping from his neck so her hands can grip his face again.

“I sleep with you. Every night. In more ways than one.” She kisses at his lips. “Cause I’m lucky.”

And for the first time tonight, he smiles. And as if that wasn’t enough for her, he laughs too — quietly, breathlessly — his hands rubbing all along her lower back and her thighs.

“Hmm... I am lucky, aren’t I?” Harry hums in bliss, his eyes looking at her fondly as she hangs on his neck in their home and it doesn’t get better than this. She had a man practically drooling on her lap and yet she’s here, with him, loving him, choosing him, just like she always has. “I do have the prettiest girl in the world. And the sweetest. And the strongest.”

“Too bad you couldn’t be bothered.” She teases, a smirk on her lips before her tongue pokes out to run quickly against his closed lips.

He lets out an almost sinister laugh, rumbling so deep in his chest she somehow manages to feel it in her legs.

“Why don’t I show you how bothered I am?”