#“NO YOU TELL HIM HES BEING A WHINY OVER DRAMATIC LITTLE BITCH” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glennjaminhow · 1 year

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oohh okay okay. sickfic where dennis has the tiniest little cold or smth and is being SO overdramatic about it so mac will take care of him

Thank you for the prompt!

Dennis is annoying.

Okay, everyone already knows this. The dude is a fountain of complaints and unhappiness to the point that Mac isn’t sure he’s ever really been comfortable anywhere. Mac’s convinced Den popped outta his mom’s vagina like that, all cranky and irritable and dramatic. He met Dennis when the dude was barely 16; his hair was too curly, and his ego was too big from being a yuppy rich kid. Yet – and he still doesn’t understand this – here they are 30 years later, where Mac’s got a lifetime of calming Dennis down under his belt.

Except he hasn’t been successful today. Something is different about today.

For starters, Dennis woke up late, grumbling under his breath about being cold. Except it’s the middle of May, and there’s absolutely no logical reason for him to be cold, but that doesn’t stop Dennis from bitching every three Goddamn seconds at Mac to turn on the heat, to which Mac responds with a quick “fuck that,” because, seriously, fuck that. It’s close to 80 degrees outside, and the humidity is atrocious. Like he said, there’s no logical reason for Dennis’ behavior (there never really is), and Mac is convinced that he’s sunk into the depths of Hell long before they even leave the apartment to go to work.

For seconds, Dennis has this cough and runny nose that’s been bothering him for the last couple days. It’s barely anything bat an eye at. But, in true Dennis fashion, the guy will not stop bringing it up. Last night when Mac was cooking dinner, he went on and on about how he couldn’t smell anything, about how his throat was starting to hurt from coughing, about how dangerously dehydrated he was, and why wasn’t Mac making him drink water? It’s a stupid question because of course Mac’s been force-watering Dennis since 1999, but Mac pointing out that fact doesn’t make the situation any more better. In fact, something about him saying that offends Dennis. Although, what doesn’t offend Dennis? But anyway, Den spent the rest of the night sulking underneath a blanket on the couch, demanding that Mac rub his calves, which Mac was gonna do anyway.

And, now, Dennis is sitting at the bar, sneezing wetly into his open palm.

Mac rolls his eyes. “Do you need a tissue?”

“Don’t use my own line on me.” His voice is nasally.

“What? Ew. No, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dennis scoffs. “Ew? What do you mean ‘ew’?”

Mac sighs. “Nothing. Never mind. Here.” He hands Dennis a crumpled tissue from the pockets of his Dickies. “Blow your nose.”

Dennis snatches it from him. “Don’t tell me what to do.” But he blows his nose messily anyway. “Jesus Christ, when is this gonna stop?”

He’s dangerously close to rolling his eyes, but he’s probably, like, reached his daily quota of eye rolling, so he settles on looking Dennis over instead. The guy’s wearing an oversized hoodie, something he wouldn’t typically be caught dead in. His baby blues are a little bloodshot. He isn’t wearing any foundation, and his hair is tousled from all of his irritating body noises. He is a little paler than normal. Not anything super significant, and it’s nothing to worry about, but it’s still just a little out of the ordinary.

“Relax. You’re being dramatic,” Mac finds himself saying as he takes a swig of his beer.

Dennis snaps his head back, eyes wide. “Dramatic? I may be dying, Mac, but I see that doesn’t matter to you.”

Mac snorts. “Dying? Den, you have a cold,” he says. “I’m not even sure I would classify this as a cold.”

“Oh yeah?” His voice is getting all high and whiny in that way that Mac hates. “You wouldn’t ‘classify’ this as a cold? Look at you using big words all of a sudden.”

“Hey, I use big words all the time!” Mac exclaims.

Dennis sticks his tongue out at him.

Mac punches Dennis on the arm.

“Fuck,” Dennis groans as he rubs his upper arm. He sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve instead of using the tissue in his hand. Mac tries to ignore how pitiful and pathetic he looks. “Why would you do that, Mac? I’m sick.”

“Oh my god, dude, you’re not sick! You. Have. A. Cold.”

Dennis basically sticks his bottom fucking lip out and looks all of ten years old once Mac says that. He coughs and clears his throat before putting his head in his hands. He’s bent over the bar and sniffling every five seconds, and it’s starting to drive Mac up the wall. He doesn’t understand why Dennis is like this literally every time he has a cold. God forbid he ever gets the flu or some shit because then – oh, boy – that’s when the real fun starts. When Dennis is sick, actually sick, he likes to bask in denial until he’s practically hospitalized.

Mac exhales and reaches out until his hand is on the small of Dennis’ back. Charlie and Frank are messing around in the basement, and Dee – the bitch – never showed up for work today, so he doesn’t have to worry about any of their stupid questions or hurried accusations about how ‘gay’ they are. He rubs his lower back with his thumb. Dennis doesn’t flinch or pull away. In fact, Mac thinks he feels him kinda sink into the touch a little bit. Huh. Maybe he isn’t feeling too good after all.

“Why don’t we go home?” Mac suggests. “I’ll put in a movie, and we can just chill out the rest of the night.”

Dennis sniffles. “I’d like that,” he says roughly.

So that’s what they do.

Mac drives back to their apartment because, in the fading afternoon light, Dennis does sorta look like crap. He keeps the car quiet and absurdly warm. Dennis nods off long enough for Mac to grab some overpriced cold meds, tissues, and cough syrup from the Wawa. By the time they arrive home, Mac is manhandling Dennis out of the Range Rover and up the stairs. Dennis coughs and wipes his nose on his sleeve again.

“Go change into some PJs. I’ll put in Predator.”

Dennis returns a couple minutes later in one of Mac’s few long sleeved shirts and green plaid pajama pants. He takes a seat on the leather couch and leans his head on his arm. Mac changes too and sets the box of tissues on Dennis’ lap, who immediately digs into them. Orange juice and cold meds in hand, he sits down shoulder to shoulder with Dennis, who is looking more miserable as the minutes pass.

“I got you some cough syrup too,” Mac says as he gives the meds to Dennis. “Just in case.”

Mac watches as Dennis swallows the juice and pills. He gulps noisily and swipes a tissue under his nose. “Ugghhh,” he murmurs. “This sucks.”

And that’s when Dennis puts his head on Mac’s shoulder. Mac stiffens and tries to steady his breathing. He and Dennis have had nights like this before, where touching isn’t so foreign and scary, especially recently. Eventually, Mac melts into it too, gently settling his head on top of Dennis’.

“Thanks,” Dennis mumbles nasally when they’re five minutes into the movie.

Mac’s eyebrows furrow. “For what?”

“Takin’ care of me.”

Mac nods. “Course, Den.”

Yes, Dennis is annoying, really annoying actually, but he’s a lot less annoying like this.

Mac settles in for an early night and tentatively presses a kiss to Dennis’ temple.

Dennis hums, and Mac feels whole.

#macdennis #macdennis fic #macdennis prompt #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #iasip #iasip fic #it's always sunny #it's always sunny in philadelphia #fic #request #prompt #sickfic

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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Text

haze

fantasizing about frat chapter president! eren....

pairing: Frat Boy!Eren x Fem!Reader, side Porco x Fem!Reader

tw: eren is MEAN as fuck, dubcon touching, cheating, degradation, power play, misogyny, abuse, ooc, i love porco but I'm slandering him here...so sorry. dark content.

eren slides a hand up your thigh from the mini-dress you're wearing, and you're just a little confused bc you're pretty sure he has a girlfriend, and you're pretty sure he knows you have a boyfriend.

but he clearly doesn't care. he's telling you to not make a scene, and you're indignant. well as indignant as you can be. you're soft around the edges, meek to a fault and you find it hard to raise your voice.

he's mocking you.

"is m-my boyfriend the only thing you know how to say?" he emphasizes your stutter. you nervously look around, locking your eyes with a boy with slicked-back dark blond hair and swimming-athlete broad shoulders. when you try to get up, eren's strong hand presses on your thigh to prevent you from escaping.

he follows your trembling gaze and a smirk creeps into his mouth, "that's him right? your boyfriend?" he spits the word out like it's coated in venom.

you don't confirm or deny but that's all eren needs.

"Galliard!" eren calls out. your eyes widen in surprise, and porco is surprised too. but nonetheless, he walks over, hesitation evident with every step.

he doesn't say anything about the way eren is touching you, about his hand groping your thighs like a lifeline.

you know porco. he's very prideful and stubborn and had a tendency to rush into things headfirst but he's also kind and gentle and immensely protective over you.

so, if he was all of these things, why did he stand before eren like a dog with its tail tucked between his legs? there was not even a hint of the usual bravado you've been accustomed to seeing when he was with reiner.

eren pulls you right next to him, his arm wrapped around your waist. there's practically no space in between you two. he's close enough to smell your shampoo.

"your girlfriend is pretty." he says flatly. no not flatly, there's a sneer accompanying his tone.

porco gulps.

you don't what's happening, but eren grabs your dress-clad tit with no hesitation, groping and squeezing your nipple. he must have noticed you weren't wearing a bra.

"isn't she pretty galliard."

your boyfriend is perplexed, unsure of what the fuck is happening: "ye-yeah she is." it's a lame comment and eren sighs like he's bored.

his sharp fingernails dig into the plush of your thigh, "how badly do you wanna join this frat, galliard?"

porco is trying to process what he's just been asked but the answer escapes before he could force it back, "m-more than anything." he repeats himself as if to assure himself, "more than anything."

eren smiles, too wide and full of teeth to be genuine. "that's good...that's good" he hums.

he runs a hand through his pretty dark hair, "well I'll cut to the chase. you wanna join my chapter and I wanna fuck your girlfriend."

you gasp, instantly looking to porco but he can't meet your eyes. why were you being treated like you had no agency? your noises of disagreements and whiny complaints are snuffed by eren's large hand covering your mouth.

"shut up. the men are talking."

he then redirects the conversation back to porco, "you really haven't trained her much, have you?"

what the fuck?! yeah sure you may have been the shyest kid in class but even you had your limits. you've always thought frats were stupid and couldn't understand your boyfriend's obsession with getting into one, especially this one, the supposedly most prestigious and exclusive one.

you bite down on eren's hand. he moves his hand away with an unnatural quickness, cursing under his breath.

"stupid bitch" if looks could kill, his green eyes would have shot you dead thousand times by now, "you're a wild fucking animal." than he gives your body a once-over, staring obnoxiously, "do you fuck like one too?"

porco also looked surprised and nervous. whether for himself or for you, you don't know.

"your girlfriend bit me." he states calmly to porco, "what are we gonna do about that?"

you can't move, you're still trapped by eren's hands and the way porco is standing is over you, he's locking you in.

"she'll apologize, she will."

"no I won't!" you shriek.

eren sighs, taking a long hit of his dab pen, zeroing in the smoke before blowing the cloud on porco's face. the blond merely winces.

"you heard the lady" the dark-haired boy shurgs, "so I have an idea."

you could feel your heartbeat pounding.

"Hit her."

time seemed to slow down. "w-what?" porco's face lost all of its color. "a slap or something. you can backhand her if you want to."

backhand her if you want to. the words echoed in your ears like a frenzy of sounds, you were only hearing it, can't even understand it.

eren pushes you onto his lap, and iron-clad grip on your waist. he transfers your weight like you're no more than a feather. you know he's an athlete, that he's strong, but this strong?

"i-i'm not going to do that."

the dark-haired boy chuckles, "how many generations of your family have been accepted into this frat huh? you have legacy and couldn't even get in your freshman year. jesus christ, you're literally only standing before me because you have legacy."

he's continuing his verbal assault, "and with this fuckin chick, stop your dramatics. it's so cute that you're acting like a good boyfriend when you had your tongue down pieck's throat literally last night."

"w-what" your voice is no more than a whisper, tears welling in your eyes.

you can't even hold yourself back as you stare at your boyfriends, no, ex-boyfriends' eyes and utter, "you are fucking pathetic."

you're not exactly surprised when you see his hand raised, and you brace yourself from the impact, closing your eyes shut.

the impact never comes. you open your eyes to see eren holding his wrist. he lets out a low whistle, "seesh were you really about to hit your girl?"

this is the first time you've seen porco sputter. eren takes another hit of his pen, "get the fuck out of here."

porco has the audacity to look back at you before he turns on his heel and leaves like a cowardly dog.

"let me go."

eren's lips are pressed to your neck, "no...i don't think i will."

kofi

taglist: @imjustsomebodyelse @forwardpair @cinnamon-n-roses @candy-hime

#tw dubcon #tw power imbalance #tw frat boy #asshole eren '#bully eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #toxic eren #eren x y/n #eren yeager x you #attack on titan au #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan drabbles #attack on titan fic #tw manipulation #tw manhandling

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triplexdoublex · 3 years

Text

Lap Dog

Pairings: Colson x Rook x Travis Barker

Warnings/tags: face spitting, gagging, braid pulling 🤣, poly relationship, threesome, bratty Rook, braid slander, orgasm denial.

“Oh my God, does he ever shut up?” Travis asked from the passenger seat of Colson’s car on the way to the studio to record the new album. He was seriously questioning whether or not he made the right choice becoming the third addition to Colson’s and Rook’s already established relationship.

‘Nah, he’s a whiny little bitch,” Colson responded. “Sometimes I dunno what I see in him— I mean he sucks a mean cock, but besides that.

Their boyfriend had been complaining the whole ride, and the two older men were over it.

“You know I’m right here and I can hear you right?” Rook piped up from the backseat. “All I’m saying is what the fuck is the point of me even going with ya’ll if you’re not gonna let me drum on the album. It’s like ever since we added Travis to this relationship I’ve taken a backseat — literally! Rook motioned dramatically behind him.

“Cuz you still gotta learn the beats for the live shows, we’ve been over this and no , that’s just your bratty ass being jealous that it’s not just all about you anymore.” Colson snapped.

“Yeah, well I swear if you don’t let me drum on the next one, I quit!”

Colson and Travis shot each other a look before cracking up laughing.

“I’m serious!” Rook retorted.

“Suuure, ya are,” Colson reached into the back seat, keeping one hand on the wheel and his eyes on the road as he condescendingly patted Rook's leg.

“What makes you two think I’m not serious?” Rook questioned angrily.

“C’mon—“ Travis started, looking back and tilting his head down at Rook. “—We all know you’re not going anywhere.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means when I say ‘jump’ you say ‘how high?’ and everyone knows it.” Colson stated pulling into the studio parking lot. “I’ve had you whipped long before we started fuckin’. Now shut your pretty little mouth before I fill it!” Colson slammed the car into park.

“Make me!” Rook challenged.

“Oh you wanna play that game!?” Colson snatched Rook up by his braids. God he hated those things but didn’t have the heart to tell him. “Get your ass up here!” He yanked the younger man into the front seat.

“Owww, Ow, ow! What the fuck Kells!” Rook bitched.

“Let’s see how much you complain with my dick in your mouth!” Colson unbuckled his pants and pulled out his cock with one hand, the other still with a tight grasp on Rook's ridiculous hair. “Gotta hold these stupid things out of the way before you choke on one.” Colson taunted gathering the braids into a makeshift ponytail and shoving Rook’s head down.”

“Stupi—?”

“Uh un,” Colson shook his head, and yanked Rook back up so he was eye to eye with him. “Less talking, more sucking.” Colson forcefully spit in his face before shoving him back down. “Open up!”

Rook did as he was told, taking Colson into his mouth and began to set a steady up and down bob.

“And while we’re at it—“ Travis chimed in. “— if you wanna whine, I can give you something to whine about.” His voice dripped with suggestion as he pulled the back of Rook’s skinny jeans down; Rooks ass propped up in the air as he sucked Colson off. “Someone needs to learn to respect their elders.” Travis advised with a hearty smack to Rook's pale ass; his handprint lingering.

“Mmghgh!” Rook let out a gurgled groan around Colson’s cock.

“Ohh what’s that’s Rookie? You want it deeper?” Colson teased. “I can arrange that,” he said, thrusting his hips up as he held Rook’s head in place.

While Rook sputtered , and gagged on Colson’s dick, Travis began prepping Rook for his dick; slipping two spit slicked fingers inside him. Every twist and turn relaxed and widened the braided boy's hole until he was ready.

“Sit on it!” Travis instructed, pulling himself free, and guiding Rook's hips back to meet his. Folded in half like a pretzel while his mouth was still attached to Colson, Rook eagerly sank down on Travis cock, his hungry hole devouring every inch.

Rook found it difficult to keep an equal and steady rotation of bouncing and bobbing at first; a brain teaser reminiscent of trying to pat your head and rub your belly at the same time, but he eventually figured it out well enough to make each man simultaneously fill him in opposite ends of his body.

“Wait, wh— what about me?” Rook questions watching both his boyfriends tuck themselves away.

“Did you really think we were gonna let you cum, after all that bitching you did?” Colson said with a snide laugh, as him and Travis exited the car.

Rook scrambled to pull his pants back up over his ass and catch up with the other two. With cum soaking his boxers as it dripped from him and his erection painfully confined in his tight jeans Rook limped into the studio. “C’mom wait up!” He called after them.

“Well one things for sure—“ Colson said, turning to Travis. “— You can’t turn a hoe into housewife , but you can turn bitch into a lap dog.”

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thetaoofbetty · 3 years

Text

i'm putting your ask under the cut since it was pretty long, doll 💜

You make a good point about the writers portraying the women in a bad light.—excuse me, i'm just going to sit here and have war flashbacks about all the hell i caught for agreeing with someone who made the observation that pretty much all the stories for the women in s4 served the men in their lives.

it's not that i think that their stories shouldn't intersect or serve the plot (and each other when needed) as a whole, it's that the shift seemed more obvious at the time compared to what came before it.

(i'm also not a fan of the "strong female needs no man" thing that a lot of people ascribe to, tbh, so it's definitely not that for me either. no woman is an island and it's never quite portrayed as a punishment but she very often sacrifices her love for something else, doesn't she? no thanks from me)

I would argue they are all portrayed in a bad light, and the fandoms perception of flawed women is just different to the flawed men. It’s the internalized misogyny.—for sure, they're all portrayed as flawed humans (mostly) but the flaws of men are often equated with a certain amount of grace and humanness that isn't afforded to women.

(this isn't a riverdale thing, this is an everywhere thing. i can't tell you how many times i've seen the same thing in every fandom i've been in. if the man is dramatic, oh he's a baby boy, he's just got *~emotions~*. if the woman is, god, she's just a whiny bitch. if the woman represses her feelings, she's a cold, unfeeling bitch. if the man does, they want to know who hurt him and give him a hug. and so on and so forth. and god help the woman if the male is a fan favorite)

betty's sins have been amplified a lot over the years, up to and including being accused of things she's never done, the good things she's done being ignored, and "needing to be held accountable" (by parts of the fandom? she's fictional?? make it make sense) in ways that no one else is (past, present, and future. i cannot express how little of a fuck i give about fbi crimes she commits in a show where it's been 2021 for 7 or 8 years. of all the lanes to pick, coming down on betty for that when there are plenty of other characters doing plenty of other shitty things is fairly transparent at times).

(and sure, people come at me for that but i don't care, i think it's been decently clear that i don't really pick at any of the mains for the shit they do in any serious manner. baffled, maybe. a few shitposts here or there, sure. mostly i'm impressed by the total lack of dedication to continuity in any way)

Was Betty’s “consequences ” for cheating that much different than Archie’s? Both were handled terribly I’ll give you that. 🙄 Both lost their significant others. And both eventually lost their friendships.—i agree and disagree, i think. if i had a riverdollar for every time i've been told that betty didn't apologize to jughead for kissing archie, i could probably put a down payment on a glamerge egg.

you know who didn't apologize when he told veronica? archie. he also used what he did as way to stop veronica from making long term choices regarding their future and the show tried to portray it as a noble choice instead of being like, "hey, ruining your girlfriend's senior prom is a dick move, actually. maybe wait a few hours?"

he also was going to drop a bomb on jughead 5 minutes before leaving because he felt guilty. great, he should have felt guilty but it wasn't his place. people have totally rewritten 4x18 to make archie this sort of guileless guy who was just confused and going through it.

pass.

not to mention the veronica erasure that happens in an effort to excuse archie for whatever it is he's doing. or the erasure of her in general? wildly annoying.

the point of the above is that, yes, they both lost their significant others but archie didn't pay for it nearly as much in other ways, including time jump friendships. it was presented as it being his choice with veronica as the sacrifice. and he still got to kiss his girl goodbye and get a pat on the back from his best friend.

that's not even including how s5 veronica said it was in the past and that they should move on (after the whole fwb thing) and betty got the voicemail™ reminding her of her sins after almost reconnecting with jughead platonically.

sure. platonically. ha.

But the fandom crucified Betty for it, it was outrageous. Could the show do a better job of showing these consequences equally? Yes! Or even give these women a break? Yes! But the reaction from fans was over the top internalized misogyny in my opinion.—you really only need to look at what the focus was last night after the episode and this morning to see that the pick me energy is strong with some people in fandom.

between that and that one troll who speaks very specifically and literally by believing everything they read on twitter who is obsessed with a handful of bughead blogs, i am very glad i was busy this morning and afternoon.

As a result Betty gets called a psycho murderer liar and when Jughead unleashes on her in a voice mail five years later and calls her names, and accuses her of being the very thing she’s terrified of just to hurt her, he gets a pass from the fandom!!! The mixed reaction to that voice Mail was gross. She didn’t deserve that from Jughead, but people still want to see Betty burn.—to be fair, a lot of that stuff comes from one corner of the fandom who is both loud and prolific at being terminally online with their bad takes. it does trickle down when they spam blogs with asks about it and then it goes on from there.

i didn't think the voicemail was warranted but it had to be bad enough for her not to reach out to him so i understand it. it's also a reflection of the consequences for his choices. we can talk about how he lived with and was dating another girl but let's be honest: he wanted to see betty again for a reason. he lashed out when she canceled on him because he was hurt and disappointed. her cutting off communication was his consequence (that and the rabies) for what he did and her losing her relationship with him after high school was hers.

and yeah, there are people who hate betty and can't get over something she did in high school at 18. that's fine. but they also seem to think that we're bad people for not agreeing with them and that's where i think that speaks loudly on their character, not betty's.💜

#besos!#anonymous #anti b*rchie #rd negativity #fandom discourse #long post #no really #avoid it #pass go #collect $200 #etc etc

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nanatsumu · 3 years

Text

SEVEN DAYS

pairing: akaashi keiji x f!reader

genre: tooth rotting fluff

synopsis: despite the chaos in your busy week, akaashi is always there to remind you that no matter what the inconvenience, he’ll always be there by your side seven days a week one way or another.

YOU KNOW IT’S MORNING when the golden rays of sunshine filters through the blinds of your shared bedroom with akaashi and you can’t help but mutter a small ‘5 more minutes’ when you feel a hand try and shake your body awake.

“babe it’s 7:20 right now,” he says with a deep chuckle as he rubs his eyes. “we both know that if you fall back asleep now then you’re never gonna wake up again.”

you peek your head out from under the blanket and when you see your boyfriend’s bed head, (that makes him look even more adorable than he already does and you mentally curse him for being able to work a bed head) you find it difficult to shoot back a snarky remark to his comment— and it is proven especially difficult when he’s looking at you with the most love struck expression on his face.

“fine! you win!” you sigh before sitting up, letting the blanket fall down to your lap.

akaashi extends his hand out to fix the strap of your pajama top when he notices that it slipped off your shoulder: to which you thank him by placing a small kiss onto his jawline, causing his lips to curve into a smile.

his hand cups your cheek, which startles you for a moment, but then he gently guides your face closer to his so that he can pull you in for a sensual kiss that leaves your mind feeling fuzzy.

when you two finally pull away and you’re able to recollect your thoughts, a lopsided grin makes its way onto your face and akaashi playfully rolls his eyes as he can practically feel the words that are about to leave your lips in his bones.

“ew morning breath,” you cackle and even though you think that it’s the most ugliest laugh in the world, akaashi thinks that it’s one of his favorite things to hear because it’s your most genuine form of laughter. “you must reaaally be in love with me!”

“i am really in love with you y/n.” he says, deciding to give into your ego for just one day.

“that’s good,” your eyes crinkle as you give him a soft smile. “because i’m really in love with you too.”

“...but don’t think that your love confession is gonna land you an extra 5 minutes of sleep.”

“way to kill the mood keiji!” you pout.

“c’mon let’s go freshen up together.” he says while ushering you out of bed and into the bathroom.

“no i’m just saying, if you’re gonna bitch about my work being ‘inadequate’ then you should really be worrying about yourself more than other people cause boy do i have some news for you.” you complained as you lathered your hair in shampoo before massaging it into your scalp.

“your co worker... sounds like... a real handful.” akaashi says in between breaks while he’s brushing his teeth.

“that’s what i’m saying— oh! can you pass me my face wash keiji?”

you hear a bit of shuffling before akaashi sticks his arm into the shower from behind the curtain with a bottle in his hand.

“babe...” you push his hand back out. “that’s moisturizer.”

“oh my bad.” he lets out a small ‘oops’ before going back to the cabinet above your sink and maneuvering around your other numerous skincare products, reading all the labels to make sure he grabs the facial wash this time and hands you it.

“thanks!” you’re about to grab the face wash from his hand when an idea suddenly pops into your head.

you quickly twist the shower knob so that the water goes from hot to cold before grabbing his hand, along with your face wash which was still in his hand as well, and pulling it under the water coming from the shower head.

akaashi lets out a shriek as the water practically hits his entire arm while you’re laughing your ass off with your hair in a makeshift bun using the shampoo that was still in your hair.

“y/n!” he yanks his arm out of your grasp and you peek out into the outside world from behind the shower curtain, where you can see akaashi holding his arm to his chest on the other side of the bathroom.

“you’re being such a baby keiji!” you giggle.

“ha ha very funny, you better be careful because who knows,” his lips curl into a mischievous smirk. “after your shower tonight you may or may not have hair afterwards.”

“you wouldn’t!” you gasp dramatically. “don’t nair me, please! i’m sorry!”

you’re gripping onto the shower curtain, spewing out apology after apology while akaashi stands there amused with how you can go from a devious little thing to an apology spitting machine within a just a few seconds.

“i’ll forgive you, but only because i’m a much more mature person than you.” he teases.

“yeah right! remember when i forgot to record your favorite tv show that one time and then you ate all of my snacks the following week?” you try defending yourself as you go back to finish washing your hair.

“no way, that never happened.” he lies straight through his teeth— which you do not appreciate.

“yes it did! i even have the video of you being all whiny to prove my point and if you don’t admit to your actions then i’ll send it to the group chat with bokuto, kuroo, and tsukishima!”

“fine it did happen! just don’t send it to them or else i’ll never hear the end of it,” he puts his hands up in mock surrender before spitting out the rest of the toothpaste in his mouth into the sink and rinsing it out. “i’m trying to keep the cool and aloof persona going you know?”

you snort.

“just imagine when they find out that akaashi keiji isn’t actually the cool guy type they think he is but instead a dorky sap who’s in love with l/n y/n!”

“but i don’t blame you,” you add. “who wouldn’t be in love with me?”

“i sure hope no one is because you’re my girlfriend.” he scoffs.

“ooo possessive, i like that look on you keiji.” your laughter fills the entire bathroom.

“yeah? less talking more washing y/n, it’s 7:55 now.” he reminds you.

“oh shit! why didn’t you tell me before!?” you cry out as you frantically wash out the rest of the shampoo in your hair and rub in some conditioner into the ends of your hair before completely rinsing out the rest of the product in your hair.

“maybe if you weren’t so busy planning to prank me then you would’ve been out of the shower 5 minutes ago.”

“i said i’m sorry!” you wring out all the water in your hair before grabbing a towel to wrap around your entire body and then running into your bedroom to quickly get dressed.

after you slip into some jeans and a loose button up, you sit down in front of your vanity to begin putting on some makeup— but remembering to keep it light enough so that it doesn’t feel heavy over the course of the long day you’re going to have at work.

as you’re about to reach for your concealer, you can see akaashi pop up from behind you in the mirror and you immediately take notice of the blow dryer in his hands.

“want some help? your hair is still wet and i don’t think you want to show up to work with it wet.” he asks as he saunters up to the electrical outlet next to the vanity.

“yes please keiji, you’re a life saver.” you press a chaste kiss onto his cheek before turning around and getting to work on your face.

as akaashi plugs in the blow dryer and begins to dry your hair for you, he makes sure not to ruffle it too much in fear of messing up your makeup and having you re-do it, resulting in you being late for work.

“your fingers feel really nice,” you say out of the blue and just as he’s about to make a sexual comment, you’re quick to interrupt him by adding along to your previous statement. “not in that way idiot, it’s just... i feel like i wanna fall asleep or something.”

“i think that’s the last thing we both want happening.” he jokes which prompts you both to laugh at the same time.

“mhm, i’m just really glad to have you here with me though,” you grin and he catches it when he looks at you through the mirror. “like what boyfriend is willing to blow dry their girlfriend’s hair for them when they’re running late for work?”

“i’m sure there are plenty of other good guys out there.”

“but good thing i have the one and only akaashi keiji all to myself.” you smile sheepishly.

“oh and i’m the sap in the relationship? i’m starting to think you’re the real sap here.”

“as if! says the guy who practically spews out love confessions for his girlfriend while he’s completely wasted after 2 bottles of beer.” you snicker.

instead of trying to start a banter with you, he decides to focus at the task at hand and finishes drying your hair before turning the blow dryer off and then proceeding to grab a brush and brush your hair out in order to get rid of the knots he created while he was drying it.

"thanks babe!" you give him another kiss, this time on his lips, after he announces that he was finished with your hair.

you spray a bit of perfume on yourself, grab your purse and then slip on a pair of shoes when you get to the front door.

"wait, y/n!" you see akaashi run out of your bedroom and make his way over to you before pulling you in for a hug. “stay safe and call me when you’re done with work alright?”

“yes i will, and ramen tonight? i’ve been craving some and i’ll probably stop by the grocery store today after work so i can pick up some other stuff.” you pull away a bit so that you can look up at his face but still have your arms wrapped around his mid section.

“sounds good, do you want to just come home first and we can just go together?” he starts to sway your bodies back and forth.

“and you can pay for us? deal!” you give the male one last kiss on his lips before slipping away, not giving him the chance to protest (not that he was going to anyways, he would never let you pay for anything while you were in his presence.)

“i love you, have a nice day at work!” was the last thing he heard before you completely shut the door on him.

+ a/n: hey y’all so i’m currently in a writers block for rent a boyfriend and so what better way to cure that than to write an akaashi fluff? this idea has been stuck in my head for the past week and i’m just in love with the idea of boyfriend!akaashi blow drying your hair while you’re running late to work T^T

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq x you #hq x y/n #akaashi x reader #akaashi fluff #akaashi x y/n #akaashi x you #akaashi keiji #volleyball #sports anime #anime #anime fanfic

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forgottenpasta · 5 years

Text

Somnolent

Summary: After spending one night in bed with you, Jeongguk finds out he is unable to sleep unless you’re sleeping with him.

Pairing: Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, roommate!au

Warnings: Swearing, some talk of nipples and whipped cream, a very emotional realisation

Word count: 3.5k

Jeongguk threw the pillow across the darkened room, a crash sounded as all his deodorants and sunscreens came tumbling down from his dresser onto the floor, plastic pings and clatters accompanying his soft cursing.

This was the third night in a row.

Third night of no sleep whatsoever, no matter how many cups of camomile tea he drank before bed, or how much he danced and worked out to tire himself out, or how much asmr he listened to, nothing was working. Tonight, he had even popped a sleeping pill. He was absolutely against using these kind of drugs unless absolutely necessary, but he was desperate. Everytime he was at the edge of blissful oblivion, something would snap him back to consciousness. Whether it was house noises, or the hum of the fan, an annoying itch or a wayward thought or just... the image of your heavenly arms wrapped around him as you cradled him to sleep.

He knew what he ought to do. He’d known you’d ruined good sleep for him for posterity the moment he’d woken up beside you three mornings prior. You’d been the little spoon, him the big. That’s not how Jeongguk liked his cuddles usually (he didn’t like cuddles period) but you had come to him seeking protection as part of the unsaid roommate loyalty and trust agreement and he had to oblige you.

***

Three days ago

“Kookie?”

Your voice was lowered and whiny, purposefully so. You appeared the picture of innocence. Jeongguk bolted up in his bed, immediately on alert. You never acted cute or small, hated the very concept. You would even scoff and smack him on the head whenever he tried his doe-eyed trick on you.

You really really wanted something.

“What is it?”, he asked slowly, eyeing your oversized shirt clad form cautiously. It didn’t appear like you were wearing anything beneath.

“Kookie, I saw the movie you suggested.” You stepped inside the room, kicking the door shut behind you. “The one you really wanted me to watch.”

He swallowed at your approaching self, very much distracted. “Wha-which movie?”

“Mirrors?”, you whispered questioningly, as if you weren’t sure what movie you’d watched. You planted a knee beside him on the bed, not climbing in yet, just looking pitifully helpless as you booped the tip of your index fingers together and looked at him from underneath your lashes.

It took a second for Jeongguk to realise what you’d said.

“Oh fuck no! I didn’t suggest shit. You were shit talking about me being a scaredy cat, so I told you I had watched mirrors alone in my room when I was in middle school.” He sat up properly, scowling at you. “Don’t tell me what I’m thinking, Y/n.”

You scowled back, all semblances of naïveté gone. “Shut up. You were acting all macho, trying to one up me. You were challenging me, don’t you try to deny it.”

“I was just stating facts, moron. Who told you to go watch it by yourself?”, Jeongguk barked, folding his arms across his chest, drawing your eyes to the flex of his biceps and his veiny forearms.

You huffed an annoyed breath, looking away as you replied in a snarky voice. “Your mom.”

“Very mature. What the fuck do you want now?”

“Sheesh. Way to be rude to your roommate.”

“Y/n.”

“I just wanna sleep in your room tonight. That’s it. No big deal.” You threw up your hands, looking at him as if he was making a mountain out of a molehill.

He smirked. “You scared? Did you piss your pants watching the movie?”

You rolled your eyes. “Now who’s being immature? It’s just that...there are a lot of...mirrors in my room.”

Jeongguk burst out laughing, doubling over on his bed.

“Fuck off!”, you bitched, shoving him so he rolled over onto his back, his body shaking with mirth. “Did I make fun of you when you told me you wet your bed till you were seven?”

“Y-you...d-did.”, he wheezed, tears escaping his eyes.

You straightened indignantly. “No I did not.”

Jeongguk caught his breath, still snickering a little. “Y/n you told the girl I was interested in that I wet my bed till I was ten. You even exaggerated the age, you little shit.”

You frowned, then shrugged, recalling the memory. “You should thank me, you dodged a bullet with that one, I can sniff out the bad apples.”

Jeongguk calmed down finally. “You’re not sleeping in my room.”

“Why not?!”, you whined.

“I can’t sleep with someone beside me. You know that. I send all my hook ups home after sex or I leave their place.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Except I’m not really sleeping with you, figuratively. I just wanna shut my eyes while I’m a few feet away from you, on the same bed. You got a king sized one, there can be an ocean of bed between us and even if I starfish we won’t touch.”

“Still. Just the idea of someone beside me while I sleep,”, he shuddered dramatically. “Is enough to give me the creeps.”

“It’s just one night, weirdo.” You climbed over him, ignoring his grumbles. “I’m sure you’ll live. Besides you made your bed when you suggested me that movie and now you have to lie in it.”

“I did not—”

“Shhh.”, you shushed him as you settled on his bed, draping his amazing comforter over yourself. “Switch off the light, will you?”

Jeongguk called you a surprising variety of colourful names while you smiled and snuggled in.

***

The next morning, he’d woken up with his head on your pillowy chest, one of his hands up your shirt and a leg over your thighs as you held him close.

And it had been one of the best nights of sleep he’d ever had. He woke up refreshed, well rested and with a literal goofy smile on his face (and an erection in his pants), ready to tackle a mountain. He’d never suffered from insomnia before, but after sleeping with you it felt like he’d never had a good night’s sleep in his life before and you’d shown him the literal gates of REM heaven.

And now he was suffering. You had shown him heaven, now his cold lonely bed was akin to sleeping on a grave, he felt an invisible force keeping him up all night.

With one last expletive, he forced himself up from the bed, switching the light on as he trudged up to stand before his mirror, ignoring the clutter and the pillow on the floor.

He rubbed his eyes, the dark circles underneath now easily discernible. He’d been working on zero sleep for three days and he wouldn’t be surprised if he started seeing hallucinations anytime now. He couldn’t go on like this. This morning, his contract law professor had almost thrown him out of his class because he was so tired and he had rested his head on the table. Ironically, even with the professor’s voice monotonously buzzing in the background he hadn’t been able to sleep.

What kind of a student is unable to sleep in class?! This was getting embarrassing.

“Fuck it.”

Jeongguk threw open his door, marching to your room with conviction in his step. You owed him. He’ll just say he saw a scary movie too and needed you like you had needed him. Or he could just crash on your bed, making an excuse that his was suddenly infested with bed bugs or something. He didn’t know, he just needed you in his arms, spooning him, even if he had to sleep on the cold hard floor. As long as he could snuggle in the crook of your neck, like he’d done that fateful morning, he’d be alright.

He pushed open your door rather forcefully. And found you sleeping peacefully atop your queen-sized bed, not a care in the world.

Was it too much to expect that you’d be suffering like he was? That you’d be just as needful.

Hell, it didn’t matter.

He got to work.

Making a beeline to the side of your bed, he looked down upon your sprawled form, like a sleep paralysis demon.

Ascertaining the best angle for what he had in mind, he bent down and in one fell swoop, scooped you up in his arms, turned and headed for his final destination.

Your blanket fell away as he clutched your body close to his chest, hurriedly leaving your room for his. He didn’t want to take any chances, he wanted a good night’s sleep in his own bed dammit.

With his loot in his arms, he dashed for the cover of his home turf.

You arose with a snort. “Whuft the fufk?”, you mumbled through sleep-intoxicated lips, still high on melatonin as you came to, slowly realising your position. Suspended in the air, in Jeongguk’s arms (with one of his hands almost palming your ass) with your face smushed against his hard pecs.

“What is happen—”

“Shh.”, he hushed you, much like you’d done three nights ago. Karma. “I’m just borrowing you for the night. Go back to sleep.”

“Wha?”, you mumbled, squirming as Jeongguk entered his bedroom, one lone lamp barely illuminating the surroundings. “Why?”

You were still half asleep, almost convincing yourself this was a dream, but then you felt Jeongguk’s very real, hard bulge against your hip as he settled you on the downy surface of his bed, making you startle with a yip, like a surprised small puppy.

“Jeongguk, what is wrong with you?”, you asked, making to sit up but he grabbed your shoulders and easily made you horizontal once again. “What the hell are you doing?”

Your eyes widened when he got in beside you, pulling the comforter over you both, not answering your question.

But the dam broke when he reached for you, hooking his arm around your middle, making you yelp, as he pressed himself flush against you. Then he threw a leg over both of yours, effectively pining you down as his head came to rest beside yours on the pillow, his mouth at your ear.

“I need you, okay!”, he mewled finally. Goosebumps broke out on your skin at the neediness in his voice. “I haven’t been able to get even a wink of sleep since that night you slept in my bed. I don’t know what the fuck kinda witchcraft you did, but I can’t sleep at all.”

You turned your head to look at him, your lips now a hairs breadth away, your eyes almost going cross trying to look at his. “And you thought having me back in your bed would solve that?”

“You were the catalyst for the last three harrowing nights, it has to be you. Besides, I’m at my wits end, I’m fucking tired and I want some goddamn sleep already. You have to be it.”

You swallowed at the desperation in his voice, but you couldn’t pass up the chance to tease. “One night in bed with me and look at you. Already coming back for more. Couldn’t resist, could you?”

He growled, squeezing you closer and hiding his face in your neck. “Shut up! It’s not about that. We didn’t even do anything. I just want some sleep.”

“Then why are you so hard?”

He froze. Slowly, his head poked out from his neck burrowing and he lifted himself up onto his elbow to look down at you. “My dick can’t differentiate between fuckable and out-of-bounds right now. Cut me some slack, my brain is fried from lack of sleep.”

You scowled. “Did you just call me unfuckable right now?”

“Ugh.” He went back to his burrowing, making your neck feel ticklish as he snuggled you up. “I didn’t say shit. Please let me sleep. We can do this in the morning when I’m not about to keel over any second.”

You blew a tired raspberry at his ceiling. “Knock yourself out.”

And he did.

Just ten seconds later, his soft, cute snores reached your ears. He was out like a light while hugging you like you were his favourite stuffed animal. You looked down at his face. His pouty pink lips were almost touching your skin, making you shiver. The movement made him stir a little and he closed the remaining gap, now kissing the side of your neck.

You almost groaned in frustration. He had no clue what he was doing to you. What he always did to you. It wasn’t his fault though, you hid your feelings for him under a mask of sarcasm and humour all the time, never having the courage to face them head on because you were deathly afraid.

Afraid of his rejection. You were cool because you were the no nonsense roommate who always had a quip on her tongue and never asked him for more than friendship. You were cool because you never went down the feelings route with him, unlike every other girl he met.

And you were aware how those girls ended up. Tossed to the curb after a night of sex because really, that was all he’d ever promised and how they could even entertain the notion of him changing his mind after being in bed with them once, as if they had a golden pussy, you didn’t know.

He never changed his mind or slept with the same girl twice. You would know. You’d heard female moans of every possible pitch and frequency possible. But you’d also seen the same scene of them running out of his room, with mascara tinged tears running down their cheeks and hickies covering their chest, as they screamed about him being the biggest asshole on the planet too many times to count. One too many times to ever end up as one among the line of them leaving his bed in tears even before it was morning. Because usually he told them to leave after they were done with their marathon sex, something about not being able to sleep beside someone. A few fleeting hours of bliss and a glimpse of what it feels like to have him in your arms before he shattered all those dreams with a, “Do you wanna take the guest room or can I call you a cab?”

Oh but what you wouldn’t give to always be in his bed like this. Night after night. Being close to him, in any way, shape or form, made your body sing with giddiness and your soul float with euphoria. It was the best kind of high.

He was a drug to you and maybe that’s why you had made up the story of watching a horror movie and being scared to sleep alone three nights ago. You had in fact watched the movie but you were far from scared.

You had just been craving him, your Jeongguk addiction rooting the idea of the movie as an excuse to be close to him for one night and not leave his room in tears shortly after.

One night of sleeping close to him was all you’d imagined you’d get. You never thought he’d come back and ask for more.

And hold you like a drowning man holds a buoy thrown to him.

Turning your face to gaze at him, you slowly brought your hand to card through his thick, long hair. His lashes fanned his cheeks adorably but you could also see the bags under his eyes. Apart from his steady breathing, he slept like the dead, his heavy weight on you comforting rather than suffocating.

A small smile graced your lips. You were hopelessly in love with this boy and he didn’t have a clue. Caressing the hair off his forehead, you leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. A tender, loving gesture you wouldn’t be caught dead doing if he was awake.

Replete with such thoughts, you didn’t realise when you slipped into a peaceful sleep.

~•~•~

Jeongguk woke up before you as usual, you were never one to wake up on your own if there wasn’t an alarm blaring in your ear or him snatching away your blankets.

But this time he didn’t want to get up either. The clock on his wall showed it was 7 am. It was a Saturday. There’s something about waking up early on an off day and realising you can sleep in, that satisfies you to the core. Especially when you have your very own human-shaped body pillow beside you.

He chuckled, nuzzling into the skin at your clavicle, sometime during the night he’d decided your chest was the best place to rest his head again. He’d slept so soundly, he felt so well rested after so long that the there was no other conclusion but that he was right, you had ruined him for solo sleep forever. Whatever. He could get used to cozy mornings like these.

He opened his eyes and immediately went still, his heart starting to hammer in his chest.

What seemed like perfectly decent sleep attire on you last night, was anything but now. Your tank was barely covering your chest and you were not wearing a bra. Your boobs almost spilling out from the top in what was the sexiest display of cleavage he’d ever seen. Or maybe the morning wood in his pants was steering his brain.

He clenched his eyes closed. He wasn’t supposed to see you this way. You were strictly out of limits. As his roommate and friend, he couldn’t afford to club you in with all the other girls he had dalliances with. Because that’s all they were, one and done. And you deserved so much more.

Right. He needed to get control of himself and stop thinking with his dick. Your friendship was too important to fuck up.

When he opened his eyes again, it was to raise his head and peer down at you.

Far from being perfect, you looked like a squished dumpling in sleep. Your hair all over your face, lips slightly parted and puffy cheeks. And was that drool?

Yes, far from perfect.

But so fucking beautiful to him, he almost forgot to breathe for a moment.

Was anything more blissful in life than this? Waking up well rested and with you in his arms looking so damn cute he could eat you.

And he wanted to eat you. Both literally and figuratively, he imagined you’d taste almost divine between your legs but he was also feeling some type of way. The feeling that no matter how much you try, you want to get so close to a person that you forget where you end and they begin. It’s an all encompassing feeling of wanting to be in them and them being in you.

His chest constricted when you stirred a little, scrunching your nose, irritated with the hair on your face. With one hand he rubbed at the place where his heart was having trouble beating and with the other he softly brushed the errant strands behind your ear.

Was it so bad to want you as more than a friend? He wanted to fuck you, yes, but he also wanted to hold you so tight and listen to you complain about him not showering that day. He wanted to make some banana pancakes and have them in bed with you. With maybe a little whipped cream on your nipples for him to taste. He wanted to watch horror movies with you, then tease you about not letting you sleep with him.

But that would never happen. He never wanted to go back to sleeping in an empty bed again.

Slowly but surely his thoughts were leading him towards an epiphany.

When a ray of light fell over your face as he moved a little, he immediately moved his body to block it again. Carefully getting up so as not to wake you, he sealed his curtains closed, returning to sprawl beside you once more.

He had his head rested on his palm, his elbow propping him up as he stroked your soft cheek with the other.

It was a fact of the matter, he had long since realised, that he would not be able to sleep if you weren’t by his side anymore. And if the kind of way a night of sleep beside you left him feeling, he didn’t want to go back to the way things were before. Inevitably, his mind led him to how a night of love making would be with you. Love making because right at this moment, that’s what his body was buzzing to do to you. Slow, leisurely, sleepy morning sex.

The fact that he was imagining having any kind of morning sex was monumental for him, because usually his hook-ups consisted of fucking through the night and ducking away from wherever he was in the wee hours of the morning or offering his fuck-buddies the guest bed. Which, nine times out of ten, they took none too kindly.

What were you doing to him?

He didn’t know. But he had no choice but to find out.

That is why when you opened your eyes, you found him gazing down at you with the softest expression on his face.

And a question for you.

“Will you go out with me, Y/n?”

a/n: let me know what you thought!

#bts fic #bts fluff #bts smut #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts imagines

10K notes · View notes

aceofspadegrass · 3 years

Text

Good Old Drama and Gossip

Characters: Hatter, Niragi Suguru, Morizono Aguni (Mentioned), Chishiya Shuntaro (mentioned), Last Boss (Briefly Mentioned), and me

Genre: Crack. This time it's just blind!Niragi being fussy and me stealing Aguni in the background

1.5k words

Part 3 of being a little shit to Hatter and getting away with it. But hey, at least there's the added bonus of Niragi being dramatic while being able to see nothing. A shame I didn't arm him with a cane and let him smack people.

Hatter was going to get them this time, he swears on it. It’s been more than a week since they last struck, and as far as he knew, there was not a single invasion into his Beach. He was always on alert, just in case something happened. It didn’t get in the way of his primary duty to his people, but the thought never left him to make sure everything he owned was in place.

Checking for any of the other’s stuff wasn’t anything Hatter worried about, thankfully. For some odd reason he could only interpret as ‘being too handsome and irresistible for his own good’ only his stuff was ever snatched like a cookie in the elusive cookie jar. He didn’t want to develop more stress lines making sure his men were okay in their personal possessions. Wrinkles shall only come to accentuate him, make him look good, not just tired and old.

That privilege can go to Aguni.

The man in question was at the very least rocking it, made him look fierce. Hatter could appreciate that in him, and it makes his job easier in subduing the more…. rambunctious of their group.

In fact, one of Aguni’s more problematic men, Niragi, had come back to a game with bad eye issues, even more worse than the appointed med staff could figure out. Apparently the game the oversaturated oil stain was in broke his eyes to the point where he couldn’t use them for a good while. In short, Niragi was left completely blind, and Aguni now had to deal with an increasingly whiny and temper hearty baked bean burrito. Hatter found it funny, but oh boy was it wearing out his poor fried dumpling.

It also left quite a hole in the defense for the intruders, so the issue of Aguni and Niragi was also an issue for the safety of the Beach (and Hatter’s stuff) as a whole.

No point thinking about this now. Hatter leans back on the sofa, sipping at a cold blend of juices and relaxing. His feet were killing him right about now, Hatter flexing his stiff toes and internally begging for a good pedicure to fly in through the doors and give his feet a touch of heaven and bliss.

The door in fact does fly open as the thought passes his head, Hatter sitting up and raising an eyebrow as Niragi stands there, breathing heavily. The sunglasses Hatter has so graciously offered to him in order to make him both sexier and protect his eyes from the sunlight so he didn’t permanently damage them further was slipping slightly off his face, Niragi fixing them after a few more pants.

“ You…..! You fucking coconut slut!” Niragi rasps out, and Hatter quirks his eyebrow in mild amusement, leaning forward and sipping his juice quietly as one arm rested on his knee. Niragi points a finger in Hatter’s direction, if Hatter was 45 degrees to the left and standing. “ You fucking left me tied on that bed for an hour! What fucking gives!”

Hatter says nothing, as Niragi storms in….. and immediately slams into the back of the other couch, Hatter bursting into laughter. Niragi on the other hand starts spouting obscenities and kicks the couch, and the red cocktail man notices the lack of real gun in Niragi’s possession, other than the super soaker that was substituted. Aguni probably replaced it, knowing that a blind trigger happy man was a danger to society and himself.

“ What the fuck is this bull?! What- Oh for fucks sakes this isn’t Chishiya’s room is it.” Niragi finally sputters out, grabbing the top edge of the couch and massaging the soft cushions underneath his long fingers.

“ Oh, I wish I was. Now what was this about being tied to a bed, hm?” Hatter croons, which earns him a hearty middle finger.

“ Like heck am I about to tell you. Okay, let’s try this again-“ Niragi turns around, but Hatter whistles at him, Niragi slowly spinning back around to face Hatter’s general position. “ What is it, I don’t have all day lobster man.”

“ Aww, not even a minute? Well, it’s just a question. Aren’t you supposed to be accompanied until you regain your senses? After all, you have nothing to guide your way.”

“ Fuck that, I don’t know where Last Boss went and he won’t fucking speak up if he’s just been following me like a sneaky little bitch this entire time, and Aguni was called away for something!”

“ Oh?” Hatter leans back again, Niragi throwing his arms up in the air as he starts pacing and nearly running into stuff again.

“ Yeah! So then that tiny mozzarella cheese ball came and said he’d help because I just look sad and stupid wandering around by myself, which I don’t believe because I know he’d push me into the pool the first chance he got, and then suddenly I’m tied to a bed as he puts on a podcast of nothing but some random guy talking about wool! It was hell!”

“ Oooh, I see. How bad was it?”

“ Fucking terrible! I did not need a wool lecture, thank you very little! Who the fuck wants to know the fastest record to shear a sheep was 39 seconds!? Not me, that’s for fucking sure!” Niragi rants, Hatter nodding and grinning as he switches his juice out for the good wine he kept by his foot the entire time, pouring himself a decent amount and taking a slow sip as Niragi continued to rant onwards. At some point Niragi managed to find the couch again (because he stubbed his toe into it, leading to an extra twenty seconds of Niragi cursing out Hatter’s poor couch) and sat down, Hatter pushing a wine glass into Niragi’s hand and filling it. Niragi downed it like he was a war orphan waiting for his arm to be donated to the war effort, Hatter lightly tsking him for not savouring it properly.

It wasn’t Aguni or any of the girls, but Hatter could appreciate the gossip as Niragi continued without a filter in his mouth, the rant going from Chishiya’s wool podcast to anything else Niragi had heard in his blind boredom. He was impressed how much information Niragi was willing to dole out just to get his anger settled for the rest of the day, and Hatter was happily sipping away as he absorbed it all.

Finally Niragi had calmed down, just nursing the wine glass that Hatter just filled with chocolate cereal instead, as Niragi refused to drink his wine like it was good wine. It was a shame really, Hatter liked hearing about Niragi’s auditory bubble day.

“ Well wasn’t that cathartic!” Hatter chirped as Niragi mumbled around his glass of chocolate cereal, draped over the entire couch as if he wanted to become the couch lord. Or wanting to be painted like the best model in the world, whatever he wanted.

“ Yeah yeah, whatever.” Niragi tips cereal into his mouth just as the crackle of his walkie-talkie alerts him and Hatter. Niragi doesn’t bother to remove the device from his side, too busy eating his cereal as a voice comes through.

And oh boy, what a voice it was, Hatter tuning into it immediately.

“ ….. Testing, testing! Are you hearing me? Hi hi, it’s me, your local menace~ The one with the robe, remember me? Yeah! Hi, don’t mind me, okay? I’m just gonna….. borrow Mr. Beef Stew with extra beef for a few hours! For personal, very important reasons and definitely not because I got a replica statue of a cute dog stuck in a window and now I can’t get it out. Anyways, bye!” The rest becomes static as it disconnects, Niragi snorting a little as Hatter takes one deep breath.

“ Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Niragi, hand it over to me.”

“ You’re not my boss.” “ Yes, but I’m Aguni’s, so hand it over.”

Niragi grumbles, unclipping the walkie-talkie and tossing it in Hatter’s general direction, Hatter humming and pressing the button on the side.

“ Hello? Are you still there, you rascal?” Hatter leans in, pouring as much honey into his voice to lure them out.

“… Yep, still here! Hi, didn’t think you’d be there too Hatter.” “ Oh, I’m here, and I would like to kindly know where you and your little friends are. As a little house visit~” There was a chuckle on the other end. “ Oh, sorry sorry, but I can’t. We can always come over and visit though, even if it’s for a brief moment!” “ Is that so…. Well, you wound me so, you know!” Hatter puts a hand on his chest. “ For you to not even offer me the same respect, ah it hits me right here that you can’t even trust me~”

“ Sorry! Anyways, gotta go, got things to do, got stuff to move with Aguni, who was nice enough to help us.”

“ At your base? Well, what’s stopping me from asking him for directions later for a surprise visit one of these days, maybe have a meet and greet with my beloved stolen items?”

“ Not anywhere near our base, we’re not that dumb my dear red bean paste~ Don’t worry, we’ll return your man in….. 3-5 business days maybe okay byeeeeeeeee-“ The line goes completely dead, and Hatter stares at the black box.

Those cursed beings, they’ve gone too far. Too far.

#aib #alice in borderland #aib fanfic #alice in borderland fanfic #hatter #takeru danma #aguni morizono #niragi suguru #last boss #takatora samura #chishiya shuntaro #hatter rues the day he met us conniving thieves #at the very least he got entertainment before being bamboozled from right under his nose #blind niragi is funny because I can make him smack into things without a chaperone #niragi slow down you're slurping too fast-#you can't go anywhere anyways without potentially running into issues #now how did chishiya manage to distract niragi long enough to tie him down? who knows

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katwritessometimes · 4 years

Text

A masquerade themed collab piece for @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten Citrus Dome Server

Read the other entries here!

Warnings/tags: Smut, Super slight exhibitionism/voyeurism (threat of being caught)

6k ish words (shout out to my lovely @teddieh for keeping me on track and helping me thirst over the discount Pikachu we all love lol)

Read it on Ao3

"Masquerade balls were something you’d only ever heard about in movies. You couldn’t deny the prospect was intriguing; donning your most elegant attire, confidence boosted by your anonymity, and the intoxication brought on by such a magical atmosphere. You and your fellow partygoers were almost doomed to desire, inhibitions washed away long before the wine and spirits started to flow.

The mystery, majesty, and potential for mischief were far too enticing to resist.

So, when you received an invitation to Midnight’s Masquerade, you didn’t think twice about accepting…"

Midnight spoke to you often about the extravagant galas she threw at least once a month. The hero had taken a liking to you ever since you started dating one of the up and coming hero’s at her agency Chargebolt. You couldn't deny the idea of attending one of her grand parties sounded appealing. Though you shrank back just as hard at the idea of being surrounded by Japan's top heroes. You’d met a handful of Denki’s pro friends, you'd even hung out with them fairly regularly, namely Sero sometimes Kirishima, and Hitoshi. But you knew he’d gone to school with a lot of Japan’s biggest names.

A soft hum leaves your lips as you shuffle through your mail, an elegant black envelope catching your eye. The matted black paper standing out from the normal sea of white, a delicate swirling blue pattern accenting the black. You drop the rest of the mail, attention immediately captured by the expensive and intricate-looking paper peeling back the pretty wax seal.

From: Mistress Midnight

You are cordially invited to Midnight's Masquerade. Join me and all the other guests in a night full of fun, mischief, and anonymity.

A black-tie event, Don't forget your mask~

You pause for a moment eyeballing the card, this was the first time Midnight sent you an official invitation. Normally offering you an invitation verbally. You smiled, she must have finally gotten tired of you trying to talk your way out of her invites in the moment. Before you could give it much thought you check off attending in the appropriate little box and tuck the rsvp card in the little mail-back envelope already provided. You smile at the Hero Midnight themed postage stamp dropping the card off by your keys so as to not to forget to mail it before moving on with your day.

You spend the next few weeks searching for the perfect dress, Kaminari reassuring you that nothing you could pick would be too much for one of Midnights parties. Still, you were a little hesitant to buy anything too insane. When you did finally come across the perfect dress the choice is easy scooping it up quickly with a wide smile on your face.

Three days before the gala Denki saunters into your shared bedroom with a shit-eating grin on his face. You raise your eyebrow at him as you dry your hair, fresh out of the shower in your favorite fluffy robe. Eyes immediately focusing on Denki who was clearly hiding something behind his back.

"Whatcha got there Kami?" You humm as your blond counterpart holds out a small not so elegantly wrapped box waving it at you. You laugh tossing the towel you’d dried your hair with to the side before crossing the distance towards Denki.

"Oh come on now Sunshine, it wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told ya what it was now would it?" Kaminari teases. You roll your eyes at him adjusting your bathrobe before taking the small box from him. You give him a playfully suspicious squint before tearing at the paper as Kaminari fully closes the gap between you. A warm strong arm settles around your waist as Kaminari presses himself against you. You relax into his hold absent-mindedly accept a kiss from him as you unwrap the gift fully.

Heat flashes through you as you get a peek at the present, finally understanding why Denki had walked in with the shit-eating grin on his face. You hear Kaminari chuckle as he leans in again, nuzzling at your cheek with his nose, his hot breath ghosting over your still slightly wet skin. You shudder pulling away from him a little to look at the small box in your hand. “Is this?” You mumble as your boyfriend’s hand begins to worm its way into the robe you’re wearing. Warm callous fingers exploring the soft plush flesh hiding underneath the soft fabric.

“I just thought.” Denki stars leaning back down towards you again. “We could have a little fun at the masquerade.” he hums lips brushing your collar bone. You stare at the toy through the transparent section of the packaging, light purple in color in a distinct U shape. One end of the toy had a rounded end while the other had a more flat textured end. Kaminari nips at your neck before pulling away from you, pushing the bathrobe off your shoulders exposing you to him. The cool air of the bedroom hits you all at once, your skin erupting into gooseflesh and your nipples slowly pebbling. Kaminari takes the toy from you, the ever mischievous smile on his face as he pulls it out of its packaging.

Kaminari holds the toy in one hand, the other coming down slowly to brush against your steadily warming cheeks. He hums as his hand trails down your neck, over your collarbone, and between your breasts before tumbling at your pert nipples. He chuckles as you whimper at the contact, continuing his decent warm callus fingers trailing down to your stomach before finally finding perch on your hip.

Denki lifts the toy up so that it is at eye level with you before speaking. “This end.” He says almost in a sing-songy voice thumbing at the rounded portion of the U shaped toy. The hand perched on your hip continues its descent down your body until his fingers are parting your folds. You shudder at the feeling, already worked up from his previous exploration of your body. You whine as he dips a tick warm finger into your aching core. “Goes inside of you here.” Kaminari’s voice is deep as he pumps his finger into you a few times. You squirm furrowing your eyebrows in frustration as he teases you.

“And this flat textured end.” Kaminari moves from the rounded end of the toy to the other flat textured end. The finger playing with your pussy leaving your warmth and you half whine half moan out his name in protest. Only to quiet again as Kaminari runs the finger now slick with your juices through your lips and up to your clit, pressing against the bundle of nerves in soft gentle circles. “Gets to stay nice and snug right here, pressed up against that pretty little clit of yours.” You moan at the stimulation, pressing yourself against him as he plays with you. Denki smiles, discarding the toy on the nearest surface before pressing a kiss to your lips. You whine into the kiss and Denki chuckles against your lips, his warmth leaves you all at once as he pulls away a smirk on his face. You’re left needy and pouting staring at the back of Denki's head as he walks over to the bedroom closet.

"Hey, hey no no get back here" you chirp once you settle yourself a little, watching your boyfriend put the toy away and shrugging off his jacket.

"Awe come on sunshine, where's your sense of dramatic build-up." Denki laughs leaning on the dresser, yellow eyes taking in your form. Naked bare, just for him and only him to indulge in, his gaze warms you up all over again despite the cold of the room.

"Dramatic build my ass, you came home got me all worked up. You'd be such a whiny bitch about it if I'd done that to you" You know you're being childish crossing your arms over your chest, even a small stomp of your foot for dramatic effect. The goofy smile on Denki's face never wavers, but you see it in the way his eyes turn from a bright yellow to deep honey gold. He’s in front of you in three long strides, his hand enveloping your face large fingers giving your cheeks a firm but gentle squeeze.

"Well Sunshine, I was going to play with you later after I'd washed off the day. But if you wanna keep mouthing off" Denki punctuates the last bit with a kiss to your nose. "You'll get nothing tonight, and I might not even go through with what I had planned for the party" His tone is firm but teasing and you definitely hold his gaze. He quirks an eyebrow at you still smiling, no real hint of disappointment with your bratty attitude on his face. You know you can keep mouthing off, get him to press you into the mattress, and fuck you just how you like. But you can tell when Denki is planning something, and his favorite form of punishment is denial. So you cave in with a sigh averting your eyes and resting the weight of your head against his grip with a dramatic sigh. Knowing that if you behave tonight you'll get to take part in whatever he's scheming for the next day.

“Good girl” Denki chuckles leaning in to kiss you fully on the lips, taking your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it lightly as he pulls away. Denki leaves you there a soft chuckle coming from him as he heads into the bathroom to wash off the day. You can't help the frustrated huff that leaves you.

You’re in bed when he comes out of the shower, spreading your legs for him in invitation when he spots you. Lust filled golden eyes rack over your body as you present yourself for him. Kaminari is on you in a flash, warm callous hands gripping your thighs harshly as he crawls up to your core. Large tongue lapping at your pussy, his fingers finding their way to your clit as he licks up your juices. Happy praise and teasing words spill from his lips as he eats you, keeping you panting and on edge all night denying you every time you’re near release until you're nothing but a blubbering crying mess beneath him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You squirm in the seat of the limo Midnight sent for you, fiddling with the intricate mask on your face in anticipation. You can feel the rounded end of the toy snugly inside of you, the flat textured end pressed up against your clit comfortably. Kaminari had devised a game to make the night more interesting, vibrator hot or cold he called it with a stupid smug grin on his face. You’d tested it out earlier that day, the insertable end stretching you nicely and when Kaminari activated the vibrating with his quirk it was strong but nice and quiet. Kaminari assured you no one would be able to hear the toy, but you would be lying if you said you didn't get a little bit of a thrill at the idea of possibly being caught.

Kaminari goes ahead of you to the masquerade the day of, parting ways before getting a chance to see your dress and sends you a text just as the limo you’re in pulls into the venue.

Kami: Don't forget, the stronger the vibration the closer you are. I'm already set up, ready when you are sunshine.

You shift your legs in anticipation at his text, a smile dancing on your lips. A soft sigh leaves you as you step out of the limo, taking a second to steady your nerves before heading into the venue. Briefly, you wondered if Midnight always pulled out all the stops like this. The entrance leads to a grand staircase, a gentleman taking your coat, and asking if you'd like your arrival to be announced. You thank him but decline before descending the staircase down to the main ballroom. Soft fairy lights and sheer blue fabrics draped over the banister as you make your way down the stairs to the main hub of the party.

A massive chandelier hangs up high illuminating the ballroom, bathing everything in a warm glow. There was already a healthy crowd of people mingling, everyone dressed in their most elegant outfits for the night faces adorned with equally intricate masks. Midnight had a clear black and blue color scheme going, intricate black flowers decorated the walls and some of the tables, accented by various shades of blue flowers.

You take a breath smoothing out your dress before searching the crowd for a familiar head of blond hair. You figured you’d take a strategic approach to finding Denki turning your attention first to the back corners of the ballroom eyes searching for familiar blond hair. A smile taking over your face as the toy buried in your cunt begins to vibrate gently indicating you'd started off in the right direction.

Despite your nerves at the beginning about not knowing anyone, this game of hot and cold you were playing with Denki made things much more bearable. You didn’t feel obligated to make idle chit chat with other random partygoers. Instead focused on finding your lovely boyfriend, the anxieties of having to socialize with strangers melting away. You head towards a door, the toy buried deep in your pussy speeding up significantly and you have to pause mid-step. Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, bracing yourself against the door. You smile, pushing to open the door, certain Denki would be on the other side. “Found you!” the words come out playful tapering off in a soft moan.

You furrow your eyebrows when you realize the room is empty, it's some sort of small lounge, maybe a changing room for when there were performers in the venue. Vanity mirrors with soft lights run the length of one of the walls, a counter just underneath lined with chairs. A coat rack hanging in the back end of the room and a large fainting couch off to one side, another full-length mirror lining the opposite wall. You pout, the room was clearly empty despite the steady strong vibrations of the toy. With a sigh you close the door, leaning your back against it a little and you squeeze your thighs together. You didn’t think the toy would be much of a problem, the insert wasn't too bad. However, the portion that was snug against your clit providing steady simulation against the sensitive bundle of nerves was really starting to get to you. With a shaky sigh, you steady yourself and head off to see if you can find your favorite blond.

An hour and a half into the party you're dripping wet as you sit at the bar. You'd started your game with Denki twenty minutes into the party. Responding to the speed and his signals in an attempt to find your tease of a boyfriend. Though he was having none of it, the vibration peaking as you got closer sending shivers through you every time you finally caught a glimpse of the blond. Only to lose him in the crowd when the toy’s stimulation became too much, freezing you in your spot in an attempt to keep your composure. Denki disappearing while you’re distracted prolonging the game. You let out another frustrated sigh as the bartender refills your drink. Doing your best to squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to find some semblance of relief, Denki never lets the toy be consistent enough to allow you to find release. Edging you on and then turning the thing off just as your pleasure is about to spill over.

“I'm so happy you decided to come!” Midnight's voice snaps you out of your thoughts coming over to you. The ever-elegant woman is wearing a beautiful blue and black themed mask and gown, taking a spot next to you with a sly smile on her face. You smile back at her complimenting her dress and she waves her hand at you in dismissal.

“I saw Denki earlier with a shit-eating grin on his face but didn't see you. I wasn't sure if you were here at all.” You hum doing your best to pay attention but the toy deep inside of you started to vibrate intensely again, your walls fluttering as you clench around it. You try your best to hide the heat in your face and the tremble of your lips as the intensity of the toy continues to increase. Midnight chuckles resting her chin in her hand as she watches you, a sly grin on her face.

“I take it you're enjoying the gift Denki got you?” You choke on your drink at Midnight’s blunt words, sputtering a no as your face becomes incredibly heated. “Oh don't bother denying it, so what model did he end up going with?” Midnight leans closer to you the smirk on her face turned into a full-blown shit-eating grin. “Front and center, or center and back?” Midnight wiggles her eyebrows at you suggestively as you choke on your words trying your best to assure her it's not like that. “Little minx, I knew Pikachu was a freak, but I'm surprised you play along with him.” You groan unable to concentrate on anything as the toy begins to vibrate with the most intensity all night. You lay your head down in your arms on the counter, half-embarrassed by Midnight's words and half unable to function with the steady warmth pooling in your belly. You hear Midnight chuckle patting you softly on the back followed by the click of her heels as she walks away. Leaving you to pool in your embarrassment, upset that her words riled you up more than you’d already been despite the light tingle of embarrassment.

"Aren't you a pretty little thing." Kaminari's voice sends a chill down your spine. You stifle a moan sitting up and leaning into his warmth on instinct. Practically coming undone as the vibrator maxes out in speed. "You look absolutely stunning sunshine" His hand comes to rest on your bare shoulder, a spark of electricity shoots through you. You hum, doing your best to focus on his words as a steady pulsing being again against your clit.

“Den-” You can barely get your lover's name out as another spark that you know stems from Denki’s quirk running through you.

"Such a good girl, you've been holding on so well sunshine.” You let out a whimper and suddenly the toy goes completely still inside of you. You finally get the chance to turn your head looking up at your boyfriend for the first time that night. Any sort of sexual tension that’d been building over the night dissolves as you see his masquerade mask. You spiral into a giggle as your eyes meet lust-filled golden ones. You can’t focus on that though, all you can concentrate on is Denki’s mask as you try your best to stop your giggles. It’s vaguely mouse-shaped, black with golden details on it which on its own would be fine. The thing that pulled laughter from your lips was the awkwardly shaped snout that protrudes from the center of the mask golden whiskers coming out from where his cheeks would be.

“Really out of all the things you could have picked this is what you went with?” you chuckle reaching out to touch the whiskers on his mask as Denki pulls you out of your chair.

“I thought it was cool.” Denki pouts and you can't help yourself as you lean in for a kiss, the snout on his mask squishing against your own nose. Denki sighs pulling you towards the dance floor. You can't help the smile that takes over your face as he leads you into a slow waltz, a warm hand settling on the small of your back. You let Denki pull you in close, laying your head on his chest slowly swaying to the slow song together. Denki humming along with the music leaning his head against yours as you dance together.

You pull away from each other as the song ends, a joke about never expecting him to dance so slowly on the tip of your tongue but it melts away when your eyes land on his ugly mask again. You choke on your laugh, Denki lets out a snarl, a spark from his quirk flows through you, the vibrator inside of you springs to life. You bury your face into Denki’s chest muffling the moan that escapes you. “Not so funny when you can’t think straight huh sunshine?” Denki teases his grip on your waist tightening as he leads you off the dance floor. You pull away from him scrunching up your face in frustration as he smirks down at you. His usually bright yellow eyes blown out with lust turning them into that beautiful honey-gold color you loved so much.

“Need you” you mumble tugging on his arm with a pout.

“Someone's eager isn't she?” Denki teases letting you lead him along towards the back end of the venue. “Where are we going, sunshine?” you ignore him finding the room you’d first discovered earlier that night. “Sneaky thing, are you that impatient for me to fuck you?” A pleasant electric buzz spreads from where his hand is against the small of your back sending a shiver up your spine as you make your way into the still empty room.

Denki has you up on the counter within a breath of stepping into the dimly lit room. He’s on you then leaning down to kiss along your exposed collar bone. The whiskers on his mask tickling your cheeks, and you try your best to hold back a laugh at the sensation. Denki rolls his eyes as your snorts turn into a bubbly laugh. The snout on his mask twisted awkwardly and you can't help but laugh even harder.

"Awe come on Sunshine I'm trying to be romantic here" Denki whines a half-hearted pout on his lips. You try your best to stifle your laugh but can't help yourself. You reach out for Denki’s mask pulling it over his face and tossing it to the side. Denki beams up at you the dopey smile you love so much adorning his face as he helps you take your mask off as well.

“You did so well today Sunshine” Denki hums softly nuzzling his nose against yours before leaning in for a soft kiss. You smile into the kiss, fully intending on tease Denki about his odd little rat mask some more. Those thoughts however quickly melt away as warm hands sneak their way under your dress. Callous fingers sliding up your thighs, hiking your dress up along with them.

"Look at that you almost soaked through your dress” Denki chuckles, you whimper at his words embarrassment seeping into you. He continues to pull up the long skirt of your dress up and over your thighs before stopping holding the edge of the fabric up to your mouth. “Open” Liquid gold eyes sparkle as you open your mouth on command, taking the front end of the fabric into your mouth and out of the way. “Good girl” Denki praises a large warm hand stroking your cheek before trailing down to your chest. Denki gently pushes at your chest forcing you to lean back a little against the counter before sinking down to his knees.

Denki presses his nose against the warmth of your thigh, trailing slow lazy kisses against your soft skin. He brings a hand up to your thigh, squeezing the plush flesh of your legs as he makes his way to your already soaked center. Denki squeezes, a gentle shock trailing from his fingers and igniting the toy. You cry out, sounds muffled by the fabric stuffed in your mouth. Denki chuckles fingers trailing the outline of the toy currently buried in your pussy through your panties. You whine as he begins to tug on it gently, your walls camping around the toy not wanting him to pull it out just yet. You huff out a muffled “no” and Denki laughs sitting back a little tugging your panties down, a simple elegant lace. He smirks tucking it into his breast pocket before turning his attention to you again.

You hear Denki’s breath hitch as he finally turns his attention to your core. “Awe you're quivering.” he teases and you try to reach out to tug at his hair but he stops you with a tut. The toy is still vibrating as Deki slowly trails his finger around it, pressing his finger along the soft silicone. You take in a sharp breath, not expecting the extra intrusion and your chest flushes, warmth pooling in your cheeks in anticipation of where you think this could be going. Denki peaks up at you, his eyes blown with lust “What do you think sweetie, can you fit me in there too?.” your eyes widen at the thought and Denki begins to pump his finger into you the vibrations against you clit speeding up ever so slightly.

Denki stands up to his full height then, gripping your thighs and pulling you flush against him. “Please” you whimper out through the fabric in your mouth, way too worked up after all the stimulation you’d endured all day. Denki’s teasing smirk turns soft, pulling the fabric from between your lips before leaning down all the way to kiss you soft and gentle. He picks you up with ease, the perks of dating a pro hero, and heads off in the direction of the fainting couch in the corner.

“You were so good for me today, played along all night, I think my baby girl deserves her reward yeah?” Denki mumbles against your lips as he carries you, you hum a “please” into the kiss. Denki settles you on the small couch, guiding you onto your hands and knees before positioning himself, his own self-control waning. He bunches up your dress in one hand, fingers exploring your dripping core, the light purple toy still buzzing away in your over-stimulated cunt.

“I think you're more than ready don't you?” Denki hums and you feel it when he finally begins to press himself into you joining the soft silicone toy in your drenched pussy. You cry out in bliss as he finally penetrates you, a delicious stretch as he presses in deeper alongside the toy. You and Denki had played with toys together before but you'd never taken him and a toy at the same time in this way.

A shudder runs through Denki as he finally settles fully into you, using his quirk to ease the vibrations of the toy that was now also pressed snugly against his cock. “Fuck” he huffs out leaning his head against your back. You giggle through your haze “Yeah it's not so easy when that thing is vibrating up a storm is it.” You tease and Denki begins snapping his hips without mercy at your retort.

The hand not holding onto your dress comes up to grasp at your scalp pulling your hair and angling your head back allowing him to lean over against your ear while he fucks you. “Don't appreciate the snark darling.” Denki hisses in your ear before trailing open-mouthed kisses against your neck and exposed shoulder. You whine and his hand trails down from your hair to squeeze at your breasts over your dress. He manages to pull them out somehow, small pleasurable shocks running through you after every tweak and pinch of your nipples, complement of his quirk. You loved the way his electricity ran through you, a pleasant buzz that always felt intimate somehow since it was his quirk.

“You’re fucking soaked baby, taking me and the toy so well, you like being filled up like this don't you Sunshine? Stuffed nice and full with my cock?” You choke on your moans as he mumbles filth into your ear, too far gone to really respond in any way as he fucks into you. The stretch of his cock along with the toy gave you a feeling you'd never experienced before, one you knew you'd quickly want more of.

“Look over love.” Denki’s voice comes out almost in a growl as he fucks you, a moan slipping through your lips as you try your best to focus your lust hazed eyes in an attempt to comply with his request. Your brain is mush from the intense stretch of Denki pressing into you along side the toy providing consistent stimulation against your clit. You finally manage to lift your head from where he’d previously been pressing it against the couch. Your brain short circuits at the sight, the moan that leaves your mouth is filthy. You clench around Denki and the toy harder when your eyes land on the full-length mirror sitting parallel to you and Denki by the couch. Your breath hitches at the sight, you look completely fucked out of your mind.

Denki leans over you again, pressing you further into the couch as he continues to fuck into you. “Look at you, such a filthy mess. Letting me fuck you like this, with all those people just outside that door.” You whine, unable to take your eyes off the mirror. Denki’s tuxedo pants barely hang off his waist, your breasts spilling over the front of your dress. The long skirt of your dress held tightly in Denki’s grip pushed up and over your ass. “So good for me sunshine, greedy little pussy taking me so well. Look at how wet you are. Can you see your juices dripping down your thigh?” You whine as Denki continues whispering dirty things in your ear.

You drink in the view from the mirror, Denki's face is flushed red, his hair just as disheveled as yours. You focus on the way he looks fucking into you, the sight of his hips meeting your exposed ass, soft flesh giving way as you push back against him. You're able to watch Denki's face contort in pleasure for a moment before his honey gold eyes meet yours through the mirror and he gives you that goofy smile you love so much. You can't really process the feeling of watching yourself getting fucked, but you know that it makes the knot forming in your belly ever tighter.

“You’ve been so good for me tonight, do you think you deserve to cum sunshine?” the vibrator picks up again, strong pulses against your clit and you can't help the cry that leaves you. Denki shushes you hand coming over to cover your mouth his eyes never leaving yours through the mirror. You moan desperately into his palm, the sight of his fingers in your mouth through the mirror driving you insane. “Desperate little thing, it's almost like you want them to hear you. Is that what you want baby? Want someone to walk in on us and see how much of a greedy cock slut you are for me?” His words make you clench around him and he chuckles before pulling out and away from you fully. A desperately frustrated huff leaving you at the loss of contact.

You slump into the couch muscles sore, but the thought is quickly whipped away as the vibrator picks back up again. Denki helps you roll onto your back warm callous hands collecting the juices dripping down your thigh. With a smirk, Denki brings his slick coated fingers up to his mouth “So sweet just for me.” He purrs, trailing his fingers up your thigh again, small electric shocks stemming from his fingers and spread through your whole body, you can't help the plea's that slip from your lips.

“De- Denki please.” You whimper reaching your hands out to him, soft golden eyes staring into yours as he smiles down at you. “Alright come here Sunshine.” Denki coos gently bunching up the front of your dress, pulling the delicate fabric up and having you hold it in one hand. Denki ever so gently pulls the toy out of you, a desperate whine slipping from your lips, displeased with the feeling of being empty but the thought is quickly dispelled as he sinks into you again. Denki leans into you for a kiss guiding your legs up to settle on his hips as he picks up his pace again.

“So fucking sexy Sunshine, you feel so good like this my beautiful baby girl.” You bring a hand up to his hair tugging on it slightly. Denki chuckles warm callus fingers finding their way to your clit causing you to cry out. “You held on for so long sunshine, you did so good. But now it's time to let go yeah? Do you think you can do that for me, baby, do you think you can cum all over my cock like a good girl?” You don’t answer, unable really to form coherent thoughts, but concentrate instead on Denki. The sound of his thighs slapping against your ass as he fucks you, the way his hair feels beneath your fingers, the previous images of your reflections in the mirror. The delicious stretch of his cock as he fucks into you, his warm finger circling your clit, the filth he's whispering in your ear. Your eyes meet his honey-gold ones, Denki gives you a soft love-struck smile leaning in to kiss your forehead, then another tenderly on your lips.

“That’s my girl, I've got you,” Denki mumbles into your hairline, a gentle shock from his quirk on your already abused clit sends you over the edge and your cumming. Your cries are muffled against his tux jacket as Denki fucks you through your orgasm. You shut your eyes tight, toes curling in your heels. The pleasure that had been building all night finally releasing in a wave.

You go limp as your orgasm subsides, Denki stilling in you. Trailing kisses along your face and stroking your hair as you come down from your high. You bask in each other for a moment, nuzzling into his neck a happy content sigh leaving you. Denki pulls out of your abused pussy a few moments later and you whine. He chuckles teasing you about how pretty you look fucked out like that, juices dripping down your thigh but you can't really concentrate on his words.

You hear him as he cleans himself up before helping you sit up peppering your face with soft kisses, the smile never leaving his face. “God, I love you so much you know that?” He helps you up and you smile, leaning up for a kiss as he helps you off the couch and onto unsteady legs. Denki coos helping you smooth down your dress, and fiddles with your hair. You fuss with his clothes, fixing his tuxedo jacket and tie when you're done, he pulls you into his side and you both take a quick look in the mirror.

Laughter spills over both of your lips at the sight, Denki’s hair is a mess from where you’d been gripping it like crazy. Your dress is a little crooked and your lips are swollen, you chuckle as Denki wipes at the thighs of his pants. “At least it's dark, no one will notice it's wet.” You roll your eyes at him and turn to him fully leaning up a little bit to kiss him on the lips.

“I love you.” You whisper, Denki’s goofy grin goes soft as he strokes your cheek.

“I love you too Sunshine.” the soft smile on your face turns wicked then leaning down to pick up your discarded masks and the toy Denki had tossed on the floor.

“So, do you wanna mingle some more,” You ask with a smile on your face as you pull your mask on and hand Denki his.

“Or?” He asks adjusting the mask to his face head tilted cutely to the side as you open the door to the ballroom the noise of the party flooding into your small sanctuary. Denki comes over and you lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Or we can go home, and you can let me wrap my lips around your cock and return the favor.” you whisper into his ear, the way his golden eyes light up is all the answer you really need.

You catch Midnight waving as you and Denki head out for the night, a knowing smirk plastered on her face. Denki chuckles rubbing the back of his neck as you duck out of the venue throwing a wave behind him.

“She’s never gonna let this go is she.” You chuckle leaning your head against Denki as you settle into the limo for the ride home. He laughs, taking your hand in his and running this thumb over your knuckles before bringing your hand up to his lips.

“What that we fucked at one of her parties? No probably not.” you both break out in soft giggles as another mischievous idea sparks in the blond.

#kaminari denki #denki kaminari #my hero academia #my hero academia fic #kaminari smut #mha kaminari #mha fanfic #my hero fanfic #denki #denki kaminari imagine #kaminari x reader #kaminari denki x reader #kaminari denki x you #my hero academia reader fic #reader fic #kat writes #Lemon Lord Collab #my writing

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ahsk1nk · 4 years

Text

Eternity Together- James March X FEM Reader

a/n: This is the third part of the Killer Night Series, I hope you enjoy! Let me know if I should make a part 4, I have some ideas. tag: @horrorgirlx

summary: James find you with his ex wife

Warning: drinking, mentions of murder, smut, mentions of not wanting to be alive

WC: 1284

(i love him i love him i love him i love him)

Sorrow was a lost feeling, and all you could do was run around with the famous James March. Choosing your next kill victim, terrorizing the children that wander the halls, and flirting with the rich. James March loved everything you did, he loved how you were his soulmate.

Although Mr. March was the one to take your life, the more you thought of how painful being alive was, the more gratitude you had for the man. Being dead just took away the possibility of dying again, you could still participate in your troubled hobbies. James filled all of the holes you had, emotionally and physically. He made you feel whole and loved, a feeling that was so unfamiliar. You were made for each other, the way both of you fit was surreal and beautiful.

You would occasionally visit Liz at the bar to have some cocktails, but your time was mostly occupied for the bedroom that belonged to you and James. The sex chemistry was insanity, the feeling of having him all to yourself was a dream. All day, everyday, moans would escape the walls of room 64, and the bed needed to be replaced or repaired every week. This passion that you and him shared was so new and erotic for the both of you.

“You are unlike anything on this earth, my love.” You chuckled on his bare chest, with your hand on his lower stomach. Both of you sweaty after a whole evening of ravenous sex.

“Do you think you could go 1 more round, dearest.” You couldn’t get enough of James, you wanted him minute after minute. On you, around you, next to you, inside of you.

“That was our 6th. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I would never stop with you. Let me recover for an hour or so. You could go downstairs while I handle the man that made eyes at you yesterday.” His possessiveness just made you ache with arousal, sometimes you would intentionally make him jealous just to watch him savagely kill someone.

“But I want to help.” You puckered your bottom lip dramatically, and made your voice sound like a whiny little girl. “This is your punishment for knowing what flirting with other guests does to me.”

You walked to the bar, with a fresh new dress James got for you, and Mr. March walked to his hidden hallway. “Hi beautiful. Could I get a - you know what surprise me, I trust you.” Liz smiled at you as she went to work with your drink, “I think this will give you some energy, especially after all the noise I heard. Don’t you ever consider the fact that other people sleep and work here.” You blushed with embarrassment.

“Not too bad for a dead girl, right? I may be a walking ghost but I still have my vocal chords.” Liz passed you an orange substance in a tiny shot glass. You downed it quickly, and the sweet taste lingered on your tongue for some time, “Ugh, this is amazing.”

She said proudly, “My own invention.” Liz looked passed you, “Oh hello Elizabeth. “ Fuck! The Countess!

“Hello lovely.” Liz noticed how uptight you got once Elizabeth sat beside you. Ever since you got to the hotel, Elizabeth has noticed you, and she was the first person to know about your death time.

“This is-” The Countess interrupted her, “Oh no. I know who you are. I know everything about you.” She leaned into your face, more intimidating than any other. You held your ground, Elizabeth was a bad bitch, but so were you.

“Come to my room.” She stood and began walking to the elevator, expecting you to follow her footsteps. You looked at Liz, hoping for some explanation, but all she had for you was a shrug and a weak smile.

You decided to follow the dangerous yet beautiful woman. “What do you want from me?”

Elizabeth answered you instantly, “I want know you.” She continued her stride to her room, and you copied her. Once arrived, she poured you a drink, with her back facing you. Although she couldn’t harm you, fear still resided.

“Do you like wine?” Elizabeth was toxic, with all the stories Mr. March had told, you created this reputation for her. You wanted nothing to do with her, but once her hand rested on your thigh, you were already falling under her spell.

“No, I like my liquor stronger.” The Countess put the glass on the table, but her hand stayed where it was placed, eventually growing up your leg. the distance between your cunt, and her hand was almost non existent. “I’m sure I can make you feel so much better than my ex husband.”

Without wanting to, you grew wetter between your thighs, and you were worried she was going to find the pool forming. But why did her touch feel so good, why did you want her to continue going until she reached your aching core. Elizabeth put one of her legs over yours, and cupped your cheeks. The tension was too much, you pulled her in closer, making your lips connect. The whole world fell, and it was just you and her.

The door swings open, catching your attention. It was James, and although he would never admit to being aroused in this situation, he look devastated. You quickly pushed Elizabeth off your lap, running to the man you loved. Holding him against your body was a feeling you never wanted to take for granted.

He took you away, not bothering to look at the other woman. “I’m so sorry. It meant nothing. She just kissed me and that was it.” He ignored your words, which cut you deeply.

James threw you on the bed once you got to your room. He unbuckled his pants, you crawled to the edge of the mattress, to offer some help but he slapped your hands away. “Lay on your back, pretty girl.”

You did as you were told with a smirk on your face, “Yes Sir.” He leaned down and looked at you in the eye with lust. James pulled up your dress, so that he could get access to your soaking underwear. He ripped them off, and thrusted into you with so much force, earning a scream from your lips. “Listen to me,” he grunted as he found his rhythm, “you are mine. You are my queen, my goddess. If you need pleasure you don’t go to the bar or my ex wife’s room to find it. I will push through exhaustion if you need to be filled so badly.”

His words made you fall into a light-headedness. It was extremely arousing, “I need you to tell me who you belong to, so I know you understand.” You struggled to speak, with the immense pleasure he was giving you. James was thrusting slower the more you took to respond.

“I’m yours! I’m all yours!” He pulled out before either of you could reach your orgams, making you whimper with the new empty feeling. James kneeled, his face right above your pussy.

He licked your slit, collecting all of you. You moaned again, louder than ever. He continued on your clit, sucking and slightly nipping your delicate bud. He could feel your body tense up as you came close to your oragasm. You released, and James licked all of it up.

He came up to your face, so you could taste yourself on his lips. James moaned as you bit his lip, “I love you. You will never leave me, correct?”

You smiled at him, “I will never leave.”

“Marry me, my love. So we can be fused together.”

#ahs hotel #evan peters #actors #smut #american horror story #james march x reader #james march

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hargreev3s · 4 years

Note

Okay!!! Im so here for this rn. Requesting: Baking with Klaus? Yall just woke up and hes being whiny because he just wants to sleep and cuddle, until he realizes youre baking something and then he wants to help

Thank you for the request server mom! I hope this is good enough. Also, sorry not sorry (:

Pairing: Klaus Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Title: When we were Kids

Klaus whined when Y/n separated themselves from his tired grasp, “Y/n! C’mon, if the world is gonna go kaboom in a couple of days like Five said, then I wanna spend it sleeping. With you, of course.”

Y/n just rolled their eyes at him playfully, “Klaus, if the world is gonna end, I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want until Five actually needs us for something, that pint-size prick,” they walked towards the kitchen as Klaus followed them lazily, wrapped in a blanket.

He just whined again, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, “But why can’t we do what I want?”

They just continued to grab ingredients and utensils and put them next to a bowl on the counter, “We can do what you want tomorrow.”

“Really?” He said in a dramatized, hopeful tone, but before they could respond, he asked, “Hey, are you baking?”

To that Y/n just nods, beginning to pour all the dry ingredients in a bowl, “Whatcha making cutie?”

Y/n’s face was dusted with a faint pink tint, “Uh, brownies.”

“Ooh! Can I help?” He looked like an excited little puppy when they nodded, “This reminds me of when we were kids! In the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping, we would sneak out to the kitchen and start making cupcakes or cookies or whatever we felt like. Mom would head over and tell us to go to bed, but she would just end up helping us instead. Thank the gods Dad never caught us, or who knows what punishments we would’ve gotten.”

Y/n laughed at the fond memories, “Dad isn’t here to catch us anymore,” they twirled around and stood up straight and on their tippy-toes to kiss him. They rested their hands on the side of his face and he melted into it, putting his arms around their waist.

“Ew. Why do you have to do that in front of me?”

Klaus groaned in annoyance, “Shut up Ben!”

Y/n giggled, “I see Ben is here?” Klaus nodded.

“Well,” they reached into the flour bag, their body blocking their arm from his view, “let’s give him something more entertaining to watch, shall we?” Before he could ask what they meant, a large amount of flour was thrown into his face.

He just stood there for a moment in shock, reaching up to wipe off the ingredient around his eyes. He ran over to the counter, hand finding it’s way into the coco powder, “You bitch!” He yelled playfully before throwing some in their face.

Ben laughed, “Tell Y/n I said thanks for making it interesting.”

The two were still throwing baking ingredients at one another a few minutes after they started it, "Ben says thank you for making it interesting."

They smiled, still focused on the food war, "No problem, ghost brother."

-♟-

“Klaus?” Five asked softly.

“Five?” He said back.

“It’ll be okay. It’s gonna be okay,” Five attempted to reassure Klaus, and himself, as they slowly walked away from the courtyard that held Ben and Y/n’s graves.

-♟-

Klaus woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily in Allison and her husband's home, "Klaus, are you okay? You were thinking about Y/n again, weren't you?"

He just slowly nodded at Ben's inquiry, shaking his head violently, attempting to shake away the thoughts, "Klaus, I'm back, what's-" Allison paused at her brother's traumatised looking state, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I had another dream, about, Y/n," he struggled to get their name out of his throat.

Allison's eyes widened and then narrowed again, "How often does this happen?"

"A lot," he muttered. He nearly smiled at the stupid face Ben made to make him happier.

"I miss Y/n too. But we can't do anything about it. I'm sorry, Klaus," Allison's attempts to cheer him up were feeble compared to Ben's. They all missed Y/n. But they couldn't change what happened, even if they tried. Some things are just meant to happen.

#klaus hargreeves #number four #klaus hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy #umbrella academy x reader

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cto10121 · 3 years

Text

Mercutio and Romeo’s Battle of Wits: Or, the Mercutio-Romeo-Benvolio brOTP

Or, Mercutio Misses Romeo Something Fierce As His Main Bro Because Romeo Is Not A Whiny Wimpy Stick-In-the-Mud and Is Actually Very Fun To Be Around and Benvolio Is Good and All, but He’s Just Not The Same(tm), You Know?

So the first half of Act 2, Scene 4, when Mercutio and Romeo have a game of wits before the Nurse enters gets cut or abridged a lot, for obvious reasons. The double entendres and witty Elizabethan wordplay are very difficult for even great actors to convey them to an audience, and they don’t seem to serve a narrative or thematic function apart from “two bros just being bros!!!” That bit of the scene just feels like filler safely cut or abridged in order to jump to the Nurse’s entrance and thus the plot. R&J the play, after all, is long; the whole play done completely is usually touching three hours. Cuts are always necessary, and for the most part it’s justifiable.

But I’m not going to lie, I like this bit a lot. Always have. Not only do we get Mercutio’s attitude toward Tybalt and his growing concern over Romeo’s love doldrums, but we get another side of Romeo hitherto unknown to us: Romeo being witty and fun and actually roasting Mercutio good, even besting him in a game of wits. And Mercutio actually being happy about it and just surrendering the battle to Romeo (!!!) What is this cinnamon roll of an exchange, too pure for this world, doing in an otherwise heavy tragedy? Are Romeo and Mercutio out of character just for some punny times? Not at all! The punny times are entirely necessary narrative and thematic-wise, sets up the tragedy, and shows needed nuance and dimension to both characters and the Montacrew in general.

Where the Fuck Is Romeo Seriously, I’m Getting Kinda Worried

So we begin the scene with Mercutio right away wanting to know where Romeo is:

Mercutio. Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio. Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.

Mercutio. Why, that same pale, hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.

It’s really hard not to read even a little bit of concern in that first question past the bluster, but in case you missed it, Shakespeare makes it explicit by having Mercutio blame Rosaline and worrying that Romeo’s love for her is driving him crazy. Once again, we get the sense that Romeo was not really himself pre-Juliet, and that, according to Mercutio, this is something to be concerned about.

We then segue into news that Tybalt has challenged Romeo via letter. Benvolio expresses confidence that Romeo would fight him, but Mercutio has doubts:

Mercutio. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! Stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow boy’s butt shaft—and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Once again Mercutio switches to troll mode and characterizes Romeo’s love angst over Rosaline as him “being dead” (“the ape is dead!”)—which would be dramatic, to say the least, except that the tone is humorous/satiric. But it does betray an anxiety on Mercutio’s part and gives the understanding that whatever Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline was, it was not “typically” Romeo, at least according to Mercutio and by implication Benvolio, since he doesn’t challenge it. When Romeo finally enters, Mercutio continues his satiric portrait:

Benvolio. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio. Without his roe, like a dry herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!

We get it, we get it, Romeo has turned a lameass pussy by ~love. But unbeknownst to Mercutio but knownst to us, Romeo is not the same guy of previous acts. How will Julietsimplord!Romeo react to Mercutio? This is going to be good.

Mah Bruh is Back and He’s…Fucking Roasting Me?

So we get the first encounter.

Mercutio. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s some French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio. The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

Romeo’s greeting is polite, open, but unconcerned, perhaps a bit breezy, perhaps humoring. Notice how Romeo before has given Mercutio a ton of slack for his satiric mocking—his only critical comment so far in the play is “He jests at scars that never felt a wound,” which can read almost as dismissive (this in contrast to Benvolio’s worry that Mercutio would anger Romeo by talking about Rosaline lewdly). Either way, he responds to Mercutio’s acerbic queries about him ditching them straightforwardly and without heat.

Romeo. Pardon me, good Mercutio. My business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio. That’s as much to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Notice how Mercutio doesn’t ask Romeo directly about what his business was, but rather assumes that it was sexual (“bow in the hams,” to flex his butt cheeks). Again, typical of Mercutio, but it does justify a little why Romeo, at this point in the story, does not immediately tell Mercutio and Benvolio about Juliet. And also why he says this instead:

Romeo. Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio. Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo is 100% trolling here, doing a Mercutio, in fact by pretending to take another meaning—oh, yeah, you obviously mean curtsying, right???? This marks the first reply in which he doesn’t answer openly, but instead answers slyly. Mercutio answers accordingly with an equally troll-y, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely what I meant, super PG” *snort*

Romeo. A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio. Nay, I’m the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo. Pink for flower.

Mercutio. Right.

Romeo. Why, then is my pump well flowered.

My Burton Raffel edition, infuriatingly enough, only gives one definition of “pump” as shoe, but make no mistake—Romeo also obviously means “dick” (the pump, I think, being the “head” part of the shoe, and thus….you get the idea). Mercutio is immediately excited—Romeo is speaking his language now.

Mercutio. Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou had worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint.

Romeo. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I cry a match.

Mercutio. Nay, if our wits run the wild goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five.

Barely does the game of wits begin when Mercutio seems to give up, and now Romeo is the one urging him playfully to keep going or else *he* wins. Mercutio could just be joking about needing to be “rescued” by Benvolio, but he does say explicitly that nah, Romeo is just too witty today to continue to “chase” the joke, or the goose (“wild goose chase” eventually became a cliché all on its own, and it’s really just a throwaway line).

And now for my absolute favorite Romeo retort:

Mercutio. Was I ever with you there for the goose?

Romeo. Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.

“Was I ever with you for the game?” “Bitch, you weren’t with me for anything but the pussy!!!!!” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

Mercutio. I will bite thee in the ear for that jest.

Romeo. Nay, good goose, bite not.

“I’ll fucking jump you for that” “A pussy jump on me??? Oh no, I’m ~scared” 🤣

Mercutio. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo. And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?

“Your game has some spice, bro” “Like the spice they’ll put on you after cooking your ass????” 🤣

Mercutio. O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell narrow to an ell broad.

Romeo. I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

“You’re stretching that joke so damn much it’s going to break” “As much as I’ll stretch your stupid ass out because you’re the joke, bro!!!!!!” 🤣

And then comes the end of the game of wits with the final twist:

Mercutio. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.

“Jokes on you, bro, I’m into that shit!!! (Seriously, though, glad you’re back, bro, omfg, finally)”

Conclusions

So now for some wrap-up:

Mercutio in the beginning of the scene thinks the Romeo he knew is lost or “dead” by love. This has been established before in the after the ball scene, but here it is explicit—The Romeo he knows is gone and replaced by a pussy all over Rosaline’s pussy. Not good. There is also more than a trace of concern and worry—Mercutio is the one who asks for Romeo, and not Benvolio, the guy’s own cousin.

Mercutio is not upset by Romeo beating him at the game of wits and in fact gives in rather too easily. It’s not too clear why Mercutio does this. Mercutio has been established as a witty, satiric character. Romeo is as verbally dexterous as he is, if not more so, but his wit is warm and expressive, not satiric. His roasts and shade are playful and good-natured for the most part. By all accounts, Mercutio should have won the skirmish. It could be that he is too happy with Romeo actually making witty puns to care about winning, but personally I think Mercutio would be too proud of his verbal acrobatics, to concede that easily and make himself a willing target for Romeo’s roast (especially since he has roasted Romeo so damn hard these past scenes). It’s not like Mercutio to go easy on Romeo or even anyone, as he proves with his roasting Tybalt and even ragging on Benvolio. It could be Shakespeare is slyly characterizing Mercutio as a character who can give it out, but not take it, hence his backing down so easily, (“Okay, okay, you win!”) but usually that type of character responds with impatience and even anger. Mercutio’s replies are too amused for that. Perhaps he was too surprised by Romeo suddenly taking a page out of his book after scenes of him just angsting—to his perspective, but not ours, this does seem to come out of nowhere. But his replies don’t sound like someone who is surprised at all by this show of wit by a good-natured friend—on the contrary, it is taken as proof that the friend is back.

By the end of the exchange, Mercutio believes Romeo is more himself again. Not entirely, as he does cast further shade on his infatuation with Rosaline, but he is genuinely glad to see Romeo act more like himself again. We are once again reinforced with the notion that the mopey Romeo with Rosaline and even the radiantly lovestruck Romeo with Juliet is not the Romeo his friends have known. We receive proof of this: Romeo can and will throw shade over you for a song.

Not going to lie: I am here for all of this.

So I think it’s fair to conclude, based on the above information, that Mercutio has missed Romeo, perhaps something awful. His constant ragging on him for Rosaline and being mopey (lovers aren’t even supposed to be sad, wtf man) and his asking for him and just generally talking almost exclusively about him (that could just be his supporting character role, though) supports that. His joy at Romeo roasting him also characterizes a key component of their friendship and dynamic hitherto missing or not as present: Jokes, teasing, puns, wordplay, outright roasting when called for.

Not only is bro bonhomie clearly established (brohomie!), but also the macho culture—this exchange is far from locker room talk, more focused on wordplay than crude expression, but it does set up the dynamics of the duel scene and Mercutio’s motivations. Mercutio is most happy when Romeo performs masculinity through puns, wordplay, and roasting; when he doesn’t, or refuses to take stand in the defense of his honor, that’s when Mercutio gets frazzled. This is not because he believes Romeo is inherently a wimp—far from it, as he clearly expects Romeo, once he seems unstuck from the quagmire that is Rosaline, to duel Tybalt. He is unsurprised when Romeo throws shade on him right back, and is even pleased. So it’s shocking and disturbing for him when Romeo refuses to step up as he had done in previous scenes to fight the likes of Tybalt, for seemingly no good reason.

On a related note, expectation is noticeably absent in Mercutio’s own dynamic with Benvolio, whom he sees as helper and abettor of his wit and decisions, a soundboard, and a quasi-sidekick (“come, shall we go?” “Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint” “Help me into some house, Benvolio, / Or I shall faint”). When he does rag on Benvolio for his supposed sword-happy temper, Benvolio does not rise to his bait or roast him back, but gives only mildly amused replies, if gently pointed, to Mercutio’s surly displeasure.

Benvolio. An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio. The fee simple? O simple!

Mercutio may want to fight someone badly enough to go after Benvolio, but he also wants a challenge, the excitement of a back-and-forth of wits—hell, even for someone to tell him he is full of shit if so he could hit back. Perhaps that’s what Mercutio needs and perhaps secretly desires: Someone to roast him and tell him to shut the fuck up every once in a while. But would Romeo do this?

Nurse. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?

Romeo. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he would stand to in a month.

The answer is yes. Yes, he would.

R&J Adaptations’ Weirdness with This Exchange

So why the difficulty retaining this fun exchange? Well, Romeo talking about well-flowered pumps and Mercutio just happily taking his roasts goes against the usual romantic!Romeo and charismatictroll!Mercutio characterization of earlier scenes. Even in adaptations that do keep this part of the scene, they tend either to brush it by (Baz Lurhmann) or even mischaracterize it a bit to keep it consistent with the interpretation of the characters as established (Zeffirelli). McEnery’s Mercutio in the Zeffirelli is in control and dominant all of the way through, and one of his lines (“Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce”) is given to Romeo instead. The Baz Lurhmann plays it only broadly in terms of group male camaraderie and not so much Mercutio-Romeo dynamics; Benvolio does not participate in the game of wits and is by all accounts just vibing (my personal troll headcanon is he is keeping track of the game of wits on a slate. 2 Romeo, 1 Mercutio, that sort of thing).

Also, perhaps due to Mercutio being on Romeo’s case for most of the play and his being a lil’ shit at points, some adaptations take a weird Ho Yay approach to the dynamic, especially productions that make Mercutio gay or queer. If so, then productions have to do a lot of heavy lifting to interpret Mercutio’s gleeful/amused roasting of Romeo, his lewd blazon of Rosaline, and his anger at Romeo’s loss of honor in refusing to fight Tybalt as signs of romantic love towards Romeo. Romeo’s own emotional independence from his friends and his willingness to roast Mercutio also works against this interpretation. Thus another reason why this exchange is often cut or abridged (although the Globe Theater just decided to go ahead and have Mercutio roll all over Romeo while Romeo is roasting him as a shameless pussy chaser in this scene, because of course that makes perfect sense. Is it any wonder why I don’t like most R&J productions and adaptations?).

The only adaptation I know that gets the camaraderie and dynamics even close to right is the French musical (and to a certain extent, the Hungarian version) through that earworm and evergreen bop, Les Rois du Monde. It captures the spirit of their friendship and youthful zeal so delightfully. Mercutio, Benvolio, and Romeo were so well cast you can identify which is which at a glance—and they are literally as far as from my personal faceclaims for them as you can get, and it’s great. Presgurvic didn’t have to go that hard, but he did and it was glorious.

TL;DR

Mercutio roasts him, Romeo enters, they trade quips and wordplay, Romeo roasts him, Mercutio is too happy to gaf, and everything is character-building fun that will pay off very nicely later on, except that versions and productions can’t make the puns and wordplay comprehensible so they prefer to cut or abridge it (ten points from Gryffindor). And all because Mercutio actually misses Romeo and wants his bro back. Bruh.

#romeo and juliet #shakespeare #william shakespeare #rj meta #r&j meta #les rois du dorks #les dorks du monde #lehetsz dorkály!#i’ll stop now #but seriously am loving these two in the play #hope my troll paraphrases please #montacrew #cristina metas

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btshodown · 5 years

Text

Lemon Chamomile

↳ “ Who knew the cocky, gym rat that sat next to you in freshman year in college would turn out to be the most caring and loving boyfriend you've ever had?”

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre/Warnings: Established relationship | Fluff, sexual themes, mentions of period sex, Jungkook’s tattoos because they are a danger to my health Word Count: 1k+

➭ This drabble is for all my period having gals who wish a certain muscle bunny would comfort them, and also for my own selfish self indulgences. Please enjoy this little nugget uwu

Pain lances through every muscle in your lower body and not for the first time you wonder if performing seppuku is the best option. It certainly would end the stabbing agony you felt despite swallowing four 200mg of ibuprofen; you glare at the bottle of pills in spite. Even bundled in your blankets with your favorite crime show playing on Netflix could do little to appease your terrible mood. You hoped that with skipping your 9 am class and staying in with some leftover over mac and cheese would help with your monthly visitor, but as the hours passed you gave in on having a pleasant day.

Another low groan leaves you as you roll in your bed, hands pressing into your lower stomach and with a whimper you contemplate your funeral. You were a dramatic bitch, you knew, but god damn did your cramps decide to be worse today. So into your morbid thoughts you were that you didn't hear your apartment door click open or the booted steps that walked to your room.

"Baby? Are you awake?"

Was that an angel speaking your name? The gentle voice made you disgustingly melt inside as you pathetically roll to your other side to look up at your tattooed boyfriend. His wavy hair looks especially windblown today as he wore a black tee shirt loosely tucked into his favorite pair of ripped jeans; his still growing tattoo sleeve deliciously on display. Maybe it was your period, but the sudden bout of horniness that flushed your body right now was alarming.

"No," you childishly pout as you wiggle away to make room for your muscled boyfriend, silently urging him to cuddle you. "I've been dead since 8:13 am today."

A glint of amusement appears in his eyes as he easily takes his shoes off and leaves a bag on the floor to lay down beside you, quickly scooping you into his arms. "Is that why I didn't see you leave your class today?"

Despite your quiet noise of satisfaction as Jungkook's warm arms wrap around you, the quiet crinkle of plastic he put down by his shoes piques your interest. Your head peeks from above his bicep and you lean forward to try and see what it was that he brought, pain momentarily forgotten.

"I skipped class," you reply dismissively as your hand leaves his waist to point behind him, "whatcha got there? A sword so that I can perform seppuku?"

A snort leaves your boyfriend as he also rolls to lay on his back, easily taking you with him to rest on his chest instead. His left arm leaves your torso as he reaches below him to grab onto the bag and hauls it onto his stomach to let you dig through the contents. "I know your cramps suck right now babe, but let's not resort to old samurai practices quite yet."

You hardly listen to him as a squeal of delight leaves you at seeing a box of your favorite chocolates, a box of chamomile tea, a box of tampons (you felt your chest tighten because dammit, he remembered you grouched yesterday about needing more) and some of your favorite ice cream. Perhaps it was your hormones and the fact that your cramps made you extra whiny, but your eyes well up with tears at how lucky you are to have this man as your boyfriend. Who knew the cocky, gym rat that sat next to you in freshman year in college would turn out to be the most caring and loving boyfriend you've ever had?

"Baby? Why are you crying? Did I not get it right?"

The worry in his tone has you sniffling harder as you eagerly take a chocolate out, popping it into your mouth and responding while you chew. "You dumby, I'm not crying. I'm sweating through my eyes, but you got everything right. Why are you so perfect?"

His bunny teeth are on display as the corners of his eyes crinkle, and god, it made your heart hurt. "I have to be so that I can keep my baby happy," he coos as he brings you closer to his body, peppering kisses to your cheeks as you whine.

"Your so cheesy! It's gross!"

"Do you want me to stop?"

With a grumble you connect your lips with his and sneakily slide a hand under the sleeve of his shirt to grip his muscled bicep. "I'll fight you if you do. Keep showering me in kisses."

"I don't mind fighting you. I can stab you repeatedly with my dick," his grin is cheeky as one of his hands slides down to squeeze one of your ass cheeks.

The horniness from earlier comes back tenfold as you entertain the idea of your boyfriend's dick so deep inside you that it distracts you from your cramps, more so when he drags an orgasm out of you. A shiver passes through you and look over to Jungkook in surprise as you see no insincerity in his teasing. You knew how he got about smells and wanting to be clean, so him suggesting period sex is so out of the ordinary. You don't think he's ever brought it up in the 2 years you were together.

"Don't play with me right now Kook. I'm at peak lady boner right now and if you're not being serious I'll actually be mad."

With gentle hands, Jungkook begins to stroke your lower back firmly and it pulls a sigh out of you as it eases the dull spikes of pain. His left shoulder raises in a shrug as his lips gently press against your forehead. "I don't mind having period sex. I heard it helps with your pain and if I'm being honest, I've been horny all day."

Your mouth feels dry suddenly as your hand griping his bicep slides up to press against his shoulder blade, body shuffling closer to him to press your chest to his. The plastic bag full of goodies he bought you gets pushed to the foot of the bed with your shuffling. The thought of your boyfriend, who loves showering with your peach body wash and occasionally stealing sprays of your Victoria Secret perfumes, was willing to have period sex with you lit something primal in the pit of your belly.

"I'll go get the towel," without giving him a chance to respond, you're off the bed and practically run out to grab an old towel you often use for your heavy days. It's as you leave the room that your boyfriend finally reacts with soft laughter and a whiny yell that he tells you to hurry up.

Your chest swells with love as you grab the towel and practically fling yourself on top of him, not being able to stay away for too long. Truly you were a lucky bitch to have such a perfect boyfriend.

#magicshopnet #Jungkook drabble #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook smut #Jeon Jungkook #Bts #College au #Established relationship #Bangtan Boys #Fluff #Tattoo Jungkook

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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 4 years

Text

Blind and Naive

(You are here) (Part 2) (Part 3)

TW: Unsympathetic Virgil, Abusive Virgil, Unsympathetic Patton, Unsympathetic Logan? (Not really), Abused Roman, Toxic Prinxiety, Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Fighting, Dismissal of Feelings, Cursing, Manipulation, Belittling, Gaslighting, Guilt-tripping, Body Shaming, Self-Harm, Self-Doubt, Anorexia, Self-Deprecation, Negative Body Image, Roman lashes out at Janus, and A LOT of Roman angst

If I missed any, please tell me and I will add it.

Word count: 3970

____

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

The question rings in my ears and I feel my brain desperately trying to think of an answer.

I know I don’t like Virgil, at least not in a romantic sense. But at the same time, I know that if we start dating, most of the fandom will be ecstatic. We are one of the most popular ships in the fandom after all.

Come on Roman, give the fans what they want. How do you expect to be the favorite if you can’t satisfy them or please them because of a selfish reason? And either way, what can go wrong? Maybe you might even fall for Virgil eventually.

I take a deep breath and nod, putting on an excited smile, “Yes!”

____

It had all started okay. We had announced our relationship to the fandom and most of them were happy! Of course, there were the few that didn’t like our relationship and those who were indifferent but that was fine. I even started to grow feelings for Virgil!

Everything was fine…

But then… Something…

Changed...

____

“Roman! You promised we were going to have a movie night today!”

I look down, the guilt in my chest growing more and more with every second that passes.

“I know... But I really need to finish this script… I’m so sorry Virgil… I promise I will make it up to you...!” My voice is hushed and weak

Suddenly, he starts to cry and I feel my heart sink.

“YOU PROMISED ROMAN! YOU CARE MORE ABOUT A DUMB SCRIPT THAN ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND!?” His voice is shaky and filled with hurt.

“No, no, no! T-that’s not it! I promise! I-I j-just-”

He cuts me off with a sharp slap that makes my cheek sting and ache.

“IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND TREAT ME RIGHT THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD BREAK UP!” He starts crying harder before looking away from me.

I feel tears begin to prick my eyes and my body begin to shake.

“I-I’m s-sorry! P-please d-don’t leave me!”

Please...! I don’t want the fandom to hate me even more...! I don’t want dad to get mad at me...! I don’t want to be alone again...! I d-don’t want to lose you...!

Despite my best efforts, I feel the tears in my eyes begin to spill and roll down my face.

“We can have movie night! I-I can just do my work another day!” I cringe when I hear the heavy desperation in my voice.

I hear Virgil sigh before he turns to face me. He suddenly isn’t crying anymore and instead he just has an annoyed expression on his face.

“Fine,” His voice is so cold it forces a shiver to run down my spine, “I won’t break up with you. Now shut up and stop crying. You look so fucking pathetic.”

Pathetic...

I go to reply but before I can, I hear Virgil mumble, “So much for being a prince...”

A true prince isn’t a whiny crybaby! Stop being such a little bitch! You were in the wrong, so why are YOU crying!? He had every right to be mad at you!

I quickly wipe my tears away and force myself to calm down, “Sorry...”

He gives me a tight smile, “It’s fine. Now, put the movie on, and let’s cuddle on the couch.”

I smile a little and nod. He sits down on the couch as I put the movie on. Once the movie is on, I sit next to him on the couch and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me close, and I can’t help but smile more.

See, if you’re good, he’ll be nice to you! All you have to do is follow his rules and stay on his good side. How hard can that be...?

____

Virgil looks up at me, a disgusted expression on his face.

“Are you seriously going to eat all that?” His voice comes out harsh and judgmental.

Disgusting pig...

I look down at my plate and hold back a wince. Now that I was actually paying attention to it, the amount of food on my plate made my stomach turn.

Are you blind!? Why did you get so much food!? Aren’t you already fat enough!? If you want to be perfect stop being such a pig! How can anyone ever love someone as fat and disgusting as you!? STOP EATING! Fill up on water or something! Count your calories more! YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT!

I swallow the lump in my throat and look back up at Virgil, “N-no... I accidentally got too much food... Of course, I wasn’t planning on eating all this...”

Virgil’s expression quickly changes from disgust to anger. He slams his hands on the table as he stands up, the sudden loud noise and movements make me flinch.

“BULLSHIT! DON’T LIE TO ME! WHAT TYPE OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU!? FIRST YOU’RE GREEDY AND THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LIE ABOUT IT!?”

Greedy...

I cover my face with my hands to try and hide the fear in my face, “N-no! I-I swear...! I-I didn’t mean to g-get so much f-food!”

A scoff escapes his lips, “Fine... If you’re not going to tell me the truth then have it your way.”

He stands up and starts walking back to his room.

I reach out to him, “W-wait...” My voice is weak and shaky.

Useless...

He stops but doesn’t bother to glance at me or anything, “You’re sleeping in the basement today. And don’t you dare show yourself until you’ve lost some weight.”

And with that, he leaves.

My shaky knees give out, I fall to the floor, gripping my hair tightly and biting my lip as I try to stop myself from crying.

Don’t you dare cry! Stop being so sensitive! If you weren’t such a fuck up, he wouldn’t have gotten mad at you! Stop being so stupid and do something right for once! You let him down! You should have known better! Go to the basement and start planning your meals...

I slowly stand up and grab my plate, the site of it almost making me puke. I quickly throw away the food in the trash and put the plate in the sink. Then I make my way to the basement.

____

“Roman, stop being so dramatic.”

I flinch a little and keep my eyes glued to the floor. I couldn’t help but fidget with my hands desperately and ineffectively trying to stop my tears.

Dramatic...

“I-I’m sorry...- I-I just...- Y-you said...-” I trip over my words, the ever-growing lump in my throat not helping to make the situation easier.

He scoffs, “Stop lying, I didn’t even say anything about you.”

I bite my tongue, “B-but you d-did... Y-You said-”

The second I realize what I said I cut myself off.

Nononononono!!! Y-you idiot! He’s going to get mad at you!

Before I can apologize he walks up to me and pinches my arm, making me grimace.

“ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR!? I DIDN’T CALL YOU ANNOYING! IF ANYONE IS A LIAR, IT’S YOU!”

Liar...

I feel myself start to hyperventilate as I wrap my arms around my stomach tightly, “Y-you’re right... I-I’m sorry... Y-you would n-never say that...”

“Whatever,” Virgil steps away from me, “Have you eaten?”

I hug my stomach tighter at the mention of eating and shake my head, unable to force myself to speak.

He walks back over to me and puts a hand on my chin. He lifts my head and has me look at him, a smile on his face.

“Good, I’m glad you’re following the rules. As a reward, we can go cuddle in my room.”

A bright smile creeps into my face. I nod excitedly and we sink down to his room. At first, it was going great, but then, Virgil’s room began to affect me. I was getting more and more anxious but I ignored it.

Don’t ruin this nice moment! You’re always begging for attention, and you finally got it. DON’T MESS IT UP! You’re lucky he even agreed to cuddle after you accused him of lying.

I stay quiet and just cuddle closer to Virgil, when he holds me closer I almost completely forget about my growing anxiety.

____

At first, our arguments and insults stayed out of the videos. But soon, they began to leak through

“So do I, but I’m not like THAT.”

Sorry... I just really like Disney...

“And as usual, you were completely unnecessary.”

Unnecessary....

“Prince, I got to say you do impress me, by being a clueless moron all the time.”

Clueless moron...

“Even Prince knew that.”

I get it... I’m the dumbest...

“Don’t encourage him.”

I’m just trying to do my job... I just want to be listened to...

“If it’s not original, haven’t we all lost?”

I’m trying! It’s harder than you think!

“You tried, you failed.”

Failed... I’m a failure...

“Princey, you are done, give it up!”

NO! I can’t give up! I can’t let him down!

“Princey, you could never let me down,” Thomas said in a sincere voice but I couldn’t help and be skeptical.

“No?” Said Virgil in a surprised and doubtful voice.

He doesn’t believe in me....

“They’re also determined and chivalrous.” Explained Thomas.

“And this is the one Roman thinks he’s in?” Asked Virgil in a fake whisper.

I guess he doesn’t think I’m determined or chivalrous... Am I that delusional to think I am...?

“I’m not evil!” I desperately called out.

“Says who?” Virgil quickly shot back.

E-evil... I can’t be evil... I’m supposed to be good...

“I so liked the original idea that I misinterpreted.”

Is my idea not good enough...?

“I tried to course-correct, but you wouldn’t let me.”

I just wanted a bit of control for once...

“Whatever, you know you screwed it up.”

Like I always do...

“All I’m saying is that you both suck at what you do and I’m tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butt”

I suck at my job... But at least I have Virgil to fix my mistakes...

“Wow, you are, unbelievably extra any chance you get.”

Extra... Always too extra...

“You know Roman, it’s too bad your brain isn’t as big as that chin.”

I’m not dumb... I-I’m not...

“It’s a puppet bit, just ignore them.”

Ignore me like always, right...?

“Too bad your “big admission” is dwarfed by your gargantuan failures.”

All I ever do is fail...

“Okay, you can stop.”

I’m just being myself....

“Shut up!”

Sorry...

“Princey, Princey, Princey, so naive.”

Naive...?

“Are you seriously siding with Deceit?”

I’m just trying to give him a chance...

“What are you- the jury decides if he’s guilty!”

So he only cares to correct me...?

____

I can’t take it anymore...! I-it hurt so much...!

I stand in front of my mirror, a feeling of hurt and loneliness corrupting my heart. My eyes are bloodshot red and tears flowed down my face at an alarming rate. My whole body was shaking and my breathes were shaky.

Ugly! Stupid! Your shoulders aren’t broad enough! Your thighs are too wide! Your stomach is too big! Your neck is too fat! Your arms too heavy! You aren’t perfect enough! You’re still eating too much! Why are you still not good enough?!

I curl my hands into a fist, my shaking becoming increasingly worse with every passing second. Suddenly, I’m no longer able to look at my own reflection.

Before I knew it, a loud crash filled my ears and I felt my knuckles sting. I looked at the mirror. It was now cracked and bloody. I look down at my knuckles, they were full of blood.

But to my surprise, the pain felt...

Good...

It hurts... My knuckles sting and ache... but... I like it... It feels nice...

____

Eventually, I just gave up.

“Roman! You messed everything up again!”

“Sorry.”

I stopped fighting.

“Stop being dramatic. We all know that you’re just trying to get attention.”

“You’re right. Sorry,” I plastered a smile on my face.

I followed everything he said.

“Can’t you just come up with something good for once!? Stop wasting our time with your useless shitty ideas!”

I nod, “I’ll try harder, I promise.”

I just agreed.

“You’re still not skinny enough. Are you even trying!?”

“I am trying, I’m sorry, I’ll do more.”

I stayed silent and out of the way. I continued to skip meals. I kept self harming. Every day, things got worse and worse. But, at least, I still have Virgil.

____

They told me that if anything is bothering me to reach out. I slowly walk to the couch where Logan and Patton were sitting. I stand a few feet in front of them but neither of them acknowledged me.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat, finally getting their attention.

“Salutations Roman,” Logan said, looking up from his book, “Is there something that you require us for?”

I awkwardly avoid eye contact and mumble, “I, Um... Need to get some things off my chest...”

Logan raises a brow and fully sets his looks down, “Okay?”

While Logan seems to be somewhat interested, Patton just rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but hurry up, I was watching a movie,” Patton’s voice is harsh, making me flinch.

I see Logan give Patton a disappointed and displeased face, but Patton just ignores him.

I take another deep breath.

Just say it... It’s okay... T-they’ll believe me... R-right...?

After a few more seconds of debating with myself, I quietly mutter out, “V-Virgil, h-has b-been v-verbally a-abusing m-me...”

There’s a beat of silence. No longer than a couple of seconds. But, it feels like forever.

“Really Roman?” Patton’s voice cuts through the silence like a sharp knife, his tone annoyed and disappointed.

I put my head down and squeezes my eyes shut, “Y-yes...”

Patton’s sighs heavily and responds in a flat, unamused tone, “Roman, I’m disappointed in you. First, you’re mean to Virgil and now you’re lying about him abusing you!? Aren’t you supposed to be a prince? What type of prince lies about their significant other? Especially after he was was nice enough to forgive you for being so rude and gave you a chance.”

Pain and betrayal hit me like a truck going full speed.

“I-I’m not l-lying!” I start shaking. I turn to Logan expectantly but to my surprise, he just looks away with a distraught expression on his face.

“Go to your room, Roman,” I don’t turn my attention back to Patton, instead I just start walking away.

As I leave, I hear Patton mumble to himself, “And to think that I labeled him the good one.”

I run to my room, making sure to slam the door as I go in.

They don’t care! They said they cared! They said we were friends! That we had each other’s backs! Was it all a lie!? Am I really that stupid and naive!? Why don’t they love me...? What did I do!?

I flop down on my bed, but I don’t cry, I felt like crying and I wanted to, but I couldn’t. So, I just lay there on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling numb and broken.

____

I’m done! Enough is enough! I can’t do this anymore! They don’t care about me! None of them do! They all hate me! EVEN Thomas hates me now! I was supposed to be his hero! I was supposed to be the good one!

I grip my sash tightly before ripping it off and tearing it to rags.

I don’t deserve it! Just like I don’t deserve any love and attention! I’m not good enough! I never will be! It isn’t fair!

I take off my prince costume, now only wearing the black shirt I usually wear underneath it. I take the shirt of my costume and quickly rip it up as well.

They chose a liar over me!? Why!? I’ve been trying so hard to prove myself to them! I kill myself to try and come up with creative ideas! I forced myself to change to meet their standards! I tore myself apart to please them!

I fall to the floor in defeat. A feeling of numbness suddenly washing over all my guilt, pain, sadness, and anger. Yet, even when I feel nothing but empty and numb, the tears won’t stop.

I followed Thomas’ request and tried to get rid of Virgil, only to get antagonized and proved wrong. So I tried my hardest to be nice to Virgil yet he is allowed to abuse and insults me all he wants! Then when I try to stand up for myself I get attacked by Thomas, Patton, and the fandom! I tried to be nice to De-Janus to show them I changed, and I’m wrong! So, I try being mean to him like they told me to be, and I’m wrong again! Nothing I ever do is right! Suddenly, Patton can be wrong just like everything we’ve known our whole life!

My wrist hurt, and I feel the blood of my multiple wounds running down my arm. My lungs begin to sting and burn, my throat clamps up keeping any air from reaching my lungs, my chest aches, and I start feeling lightheaded.

I want somebody... Anybody... I just need someone...

But who...? I’m all alone... I have nobody...

...Remus...

____

I stand outside of Remus’ room.

This is a bad idea... What if he laughs at me...!? But... He’s the only person I have left...

I slowly knock on the door, cursing myself when I see how shaky my hand is.

After what seems like forever, the door opens and Remus looks at me with a shocked and concerned face.

“Roman?! What happened!? You look like shit! Are you okay!?” He slowly takes a step towards me and pulls me into a hug.

The second he hugs me, I fall apart again.

Chocked sobs shake my body and I cling to Remus, hiding my face in his shoulder. I hear Remus sigh softly and he gently ushers me inside. He leads me to his bed and sits both of us down.

“Shhh, it’s okay Ro. You’re okay, just breathe.”

I flinch slightly at how gentle and soft Remus’ voice is before nodding slightly. I start taking shaky deep breaths.

I don’t know how much time passes, but I eventually calm down. I slowly pull away from Remus and look down.

“I-I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to just come and burden you after all these years of ignoring you...” Despite how hard I try, my voice stays weak and tiny.

Remus, gently puts a comforting hand on my shoulder, “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, you aren’t burdening me.”

I bite my lip, “A-are you sure...? I-I s-started crying... and b-bothering you with my i-issues...”

Remus hugs me again and softly says, “Roman. You aren’t a burden and you’re not bothering me. Just because you started crying doesn’t mean you have to apologize. It’s okay to cry.”

W-what...? But Virgil always said that I shouldn’t cry...? He says I’m just being annoying and self-centered... W-was he lying..?

I hesitantly nod, hugging Remus back, “Okay...”

Suddenly, I feel someone on the bed shift a bit and my heart sinks.

S-someone else is here?!

I pull away from the hug and look behind me, not sure what to expect. The face staring back at me immediately makes all my anger come rushing back to me.

“What are you doing here, Snake?” My voice comes out harsher than I expected it to but I can’t be bothered to care.

I see Janus flinch slightly and Remus sighs.

“Ro, that was mean... Apologize to Jan.”

A-apologize...

My heart drops and it suddenly becomes impossible to breathe. I feel Remus go to pull me into another hug but I push him away and quickly stand up.

“APOLOGIZE!? WHY DO I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE!?” At this point I’m crying and shaking again, but this time, they’re tears of anger, “AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE TO ME, I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE MAD!”

“Roman, I-” Janus starts but I quickly cut him off.

“YOU PRETENDED TO BE PATTON AND HAD ME PRANCE AROUND ON A STAGE, EXPLOITING MY TRUST AND SOMETHING I LOVE! THEN YOU MADE ME THE STUPID JUDGE IN YOUR DUMB TRIAL AND PRETENDED TO BE MY FRIEND! AND WHEN I DIDN’T AGREE WITH YOU, YOU PUNISHED ME BY HAVING MY BROTHER HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH HIS MORNING STAR! YOU FILLED MY HEAD WITH FAKE COMPLIMENTS, POKING AT MY INSECURITIES AND MY DESPERATION FOR SOME SORT OF PRAISE AND LOVE!” My voice quivers and shakes.

At this point, I see tears form in the corner of Janus’ eyes, but I continue, mostly because I just NEED to rant.

“YOU USED ME JUST TO GET LISTENED TO! AND I GET IT! IT SUCKS TO BE IGNORED! BUT THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY YOUR SHITTY ACTIONS! LOGAN GETS IGNORED AND YOU DON’T SEE HIM MANIPULATING OTHERS! I GET IGNORED AND YOU DON’T SEE ME EXPLOITING OTHERS WEAKNESS! REMUS GETS IGNORED AND YOU DON’T SEE HIM USING OTHERS! THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO BE LISTENED!” My voice breaks off, unable to continue screaming.

I laugh, the laugh heavily laced with bitterness and sadness, then I crumple to the floor.

“I-I have a r-right t-to...- T-to...-” I cut myself off and just cry into my hands, going from angry frustrated tears to sorrowful tears.

I hear both of them slowly stand up, Remus takes a knee next to me while Janus sits in front of me. I feel Remus starts to slowly and gently rub my back.

“Roman,” Janus’ voice is soothing and gentle, making me look up at him.

His face is full of guilt and the tears that pricked his eyes a few seconds ago were now slipping down.

“I’m SO sorry,” He continues, “I know what I did is wrong and that it seriously hurt you. I know that a sorry won’t fix the mess I’ve caused. And I know that nothing I do will change the past. But, I really am sorry. You don’t have to forgive me yet, you can forgive me when you are ready. For now, just breathe, everything will be okay.”

I don’t have the strength to argue, not anymore. All I do is give him a small nod in response and start slowly breathing.

Remus starts slowly breathing with me while Janus whispers reassurance, and it surprising helps, a lot. I continue breathing, and slowly start calming down.

It will be okay...?

____

“How are you feeling Ro?” Remus asks in a gentle calming voice.

I smile a little and quietly mumble, “I feel slightly better. Thank you.”

He nods, smiling softly, “Of course Ro.”

“So,” I turn my attention to Janus, “Do you think you’re ready to tell us what happened?” He keeps his voice super gentle and soothing.

His tone helps keep me calm and I slowly nod, “Yeah...”

They both look at me, and I can’t help but feel a warmth in my heart.

They’re willing to listen to me... They’re actually going to listen...

I take a deep breath, ready to just get everything off my chest.

____

To be continued.

I finally finished! This took so long, but I really liked it. Also, kinda sucks that this had to come out on Roman’s birthday, but I really didn’t want to post it any later. So, yeah, part 2 will be out soon. Later!

Tell me if you want to be tagged or removed.

@anti-virgil @romanvirgil @yeet-ceit @nachosforfree @unsympathetic-virgil @sanders-sides-soap-box @virgil-negativity @a-gay-angel @potatsanderssides @sapphire-knight @a-small-snidget @easterpop-reblogs @nostarsinthedark @itriedandimtired @cemmy @unus-janus

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katsukithme · 4 years

Text

Of Mugs and Men

~moved from old account~

Pairing: Denki Kaminari x Reader

Warnings: none! Denki bein a lil shithead. It's pretty fluffy

Summary: You can't find your favorite mug, and the culprit is being evasive. And a brat.

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: I saw a tiktok where you call your s/o by their government name instead of like a nickname and they get all upset and it inspired me :) it also had denki written all over it

~♡~

"Hey Denki!" You call from the kitchen of your shared apartment, searching in vain for your favorite mug from the cabinet. You could have sworn you put it right here, in front of the others. Where in the hell could it have gone?

You've been looking for the damn mug all week, and it still hadn't turned up! Every room in the house had been searched, and you were convinced it had been stolen or broken or something. There was not a stone left unturned in this apartment and the mug was nowhere to be found. And if you didn't know what happened to it, that left one more culprit. Your boyfriend.

You wrinkle your nose as only silence meets your call, and you put your hands on your hips. You knew damn well he was home. He had gotten home a few hours ago, long day of being a pro hero leaving him absolutely spent. But he always came home to you with that dopey looking smile. Just like he had today.

"Denki! I know you can hear me!" You call a little louder, frowning when there was still no response. Hadn't you left him laying on the couch?

You wander out of the kitchen to your living room, and find the man himself laying on the couch all four limbs sprawled out to take up all the space. His hero uniform had been exchanged for a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, his hair swept back off his face. Then you got a good look at his face. He was pouting at you.

"Denki, what the hell?" You sigh, hands on your hips again. When you say his name he sours a little more, crossing his arms over his chest. Like a petulant child, you realize.

"What's got your panties in a twist, huh? You're giving me the cold shoulder." You observe, and he huffs loud and dramatic like. It took everything you had not to roll your eyes. Drama queen.

He grumbles something quietly, so quiet you really couldn't hear him. So you walk further into the living room, standing over him where he layed on the couch. Still pouting.

"What? Speak up, Denki, I can't hear you." You reply, a small laugh falling from your lips. You couldn't help it... the expression on his face was too funny.

"I said, that's not my name." He grumbles, puffing put his cheeks. You stare down at him, confusion written all over your features.

"What... what do you mean? I'm almost 100% certain that's your name." You reply, brow raised to the ceiling.

"Nope. It is not. I will not respond to that name." He insists, tilting his chin up stubbornly. You stare at him in bewilderment.

"That's your name though!" You protest, still not quite getting the picture. He sits up a little on his elbows, chest straining against the white t-shirt. God you loved those shirts.

He points to himself, eyes still locked on yours. Then, in all complete seriousness, he says:

"I'm baby. Not Denki."

You blink.

Once.

Twice.

Waiting for him to start laughing falter in his pouty demeanor. But he doesn't... he means it wholeheartedly. When you don't say anything, he takes it upon himself to fill the silence and continue.

"I will also accept honey, sweetheart, my love, any of those really. I prefer baby, but I can be lenient." He states matter-of-factly, leveling his gaze with you. And you were trying very very hard not to start giggling.

"Baby, huh?" You drawl, stepping closer to the couch, arms crossed over your t-shirt clad chest. You had stolen one of his shirts before he got home, and it hung down to the middle of your thighs.

Denki huffs again, obviously being a stubborn brat about it. Sometimes you really thought having him as a boyfriend was like having a child. A whiny, needy, goofy troublemaking child.

"Yes. Baby. And you're lucky, I'll let you off with a warning this time. Just don't let it happen again." He grumbles, arms wrapping around your thighs when you get close enough. You try to swat his hands away, lighthearted giggles falling from your lips as he gives a firm pull, and you topple over onto his chest.

Warm hands skim up your thighs, rucking up the oversized t-shirt to your hips which he immediately covers with his large palms, kneading the flesh there. You hum slowly, your own hands flattening against his chest.

"You're so generous... baby." You snark, and he pinches your sides in retaliation, making you squeal.

"I know! Aren't you so lucky?" He retorts. "Now c'mere, baby deserves some sugar." He surges forward to capture your lips in a kiss, deep and breathtaking and still so sweet that you can't help but melt into it, into him, despite his entire headassery. You could feel the ghost of a smile on his own lips, and you knew that hearing you call him baby had solved the problem.

You pull away, pulling in soft panting breaths as his lips blaze a path along your jaw instead, busying his hands with rubbing patterns at your hips. He was getting awfully cheeky for someone who was oouting not even five minutes ago. You hum, head tilted, already more than willing to give in, but something was nagging at you.

"Baby..." you breathe, hand threading in that infamous yellow hair, giving a firm tug so he'd look at you. Which he does... but you almost wished you had let him be. The sight of him like that was enough to make you shiver.

His eyes were glazed over, half lidded and giddy with the feeling of your skin under his lips, which were kiss swollen and pink. He was looking at you like you hung the moon.

"Yeah, doll?" He mumbles, preening at the feeling of your hands in his hair, on his chest, anywhere.

"Do you know where my favorite mug went?"

He groans at your ruining the moment, head flopping back onto the pillows. "Is that all you wanted?" He whines, hands still tight around you to keep you in close despite you wanting to continue your search.

"Yes! It would have been simple if you'd have just answered me earlier instead of threw a fit like a brat." You quip, sitting up just enough to poke him firmly in the chest.

"You called me Denki! And my name is baby!" He protests, still absolutely set on this, and you groan.

"I just wanted to make coffee!"

"Use another mug. I dunno where yours is." He says, trying to keep a poker face, but you could see right through his lies. He was an absolutely terrible liar. Your eyes narrow.

"Where is the mug, Kaminari?" You state slowly, and his brows raise at you in slight surprise.

"Now what did I say-" his sentence was cut short when hou press your finger to his lips, shutting him up for a moment.

"Answer me. Where is my favorite mug?" You restate. He was fidgeting under your gaze, averting his eyes, the whole deal. You coukd easily tell he was the culprit, but you wanted to hear him say it. For closure purposes.

His lips part lightly and you remove your finger, face more than expectant of what he was going to say.

"Um so... I might have accidentally... broke it?" He squeaks.

Your face drops. Not in sadness, but in outrage.

"What?! That one was my favorite! I always keep it in the same place, I tell you all the time not to use it!" You protest, and he cringes at the confrontation.

"I didn't mean to! It was the only one left and you were at work, and I wanted hot chocolate so bad! But I didn't know you couldn't put that mug in the microwave and... it broke." He sputters out quickly, trying to stave off your anger. And you just stare at him for a moment.

The one thing that was most infuriating about Denki Kaminari was his ability to weasel his way out of trouble with you. All it took was those stupid puppy dog eyes and a little pout, and you were such a goner. You were pissed you couldn't stay mad at him.

"... you're lucky I love you." You grumble, and his face lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees you're not mad. Well, not super mad anyways. He wouldn't have to sleep on the couch!

"So..." he states slowly, biting his lip, "does this mean we're even?"

You look at him like he's the craziest son of a bitch in the world, and he's quick to explain himself.

"I mean! B-because you called me Denki! You call me by my government name, I break your mug and don't tell you for a week, we're even!"

You're up off his lap in seconds, much to his discontent.

"Hey, c'mon! Where are you going?" He whines, and you're reminded of a child once again, stubborn and always getting his way.

"To take a shower!" You call back, and when he goes to reply you're whick to talk over him. You already knew what he was going to ask.

"No! You're not invited!" The bathroom door closes and locks and he grumbles stubbornly to himself.

How could you do this to him? It was just a mug! Denying him the right to accompany you in the shower was just plain cruel.

His brooding thoughts are interrupted by the soumd of the lock clicking and the batbroom door opening, steam billowing from inside.

"Come on, sparky." You relent. He nearly trips over his feet he runs to the bathroom so fast.

Yeah... you weren't too mad.

#kaminari denki #bnha denki #bnha imagines #my hero fanfic #my hero academy fanfiction #denki kaminari #my hero academia kaminari #kaminari #denki kaminari imagine #bnha

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