#“idk why but this scene reads so much like a rape scene to me :/”

[opheliasam]

among the grating cesspool that is spn youtube clips comment sections… found some peers.. academics.. people who get it if u will

[dirkxcaliborn]

today was weird because I was trying to read my book on my break and there was something about a suicidal woman attacking a man, embracing him as she fell under water and began to drown and realizing her miserable life was finally coming to an end... and knowing that man went on to be prosecuted for her death and struggled for years to process it and at the end was determined to hold close to his heart the secret that she didn't want to live in the first place........ and then having to go back to work bro that kinda fucked me up a little agshsksjshe

[olderthannetfic]

I don't know how many people kept up with this, but if you're on the internet you probably know about it, but there's a new Sam Levinson TV series that has been bothering a lot of people. It's called The Idol, and features Johnny Depp's daughter and The Weeknd, the former being this super popular singer and the latter as the cult leader who brainwashes Lily Rose into doing humiliating sex stuff with him with the excuse that it'll make her better at her job.

Now… the existence of this show bothers me a lot, and I know I'm not the only one, but while I can't attest to what others think regarding fiction, I know that I'm absolutely not one of those people who think that any depiction of sexual assault should be banned, or that kink has no place on TV, or that all sex scenes must advance the plot.

There's just something, in how those shows and movies are set up, that makes it all feel so exploitative and horrible in a way that, in fics, never seems to be.

Like... I'm a huge fan of Miss_Lv, who is definitely a "dead dove" author, and yet there's just something that makes me want to throw up at the idea that Sam Levinson shot a scene in which a bunch of guys (or maybe it was just The Weeknd, idk) come on Lily Rose's face and The Weeknd posts a pic of it on Twitter and makes it go viral with the tag #humancumsock.

I guess it's because it's acted out by real people, and there's a huge difference between "I'm imagining all of these characters doing these things in my head" and "These characters are played by actual people," but the amount of disgust the idea of seeing The Weeknd push an egg in Lily Rose's vagina and tell her that, if she cracks/drops it, he's not going to rape her is almost inexpressible while, if a fandom friend pitched me with this idea, I would simply reply with "That stuff makes no sense, but ok, I guess. Just good luck finding the tag for it."

My other best idea, as to why this whole series disgusts me so much, is that PR made Lily Rose go around interviews saying that she felt so empowered by the series, which is the usual crap that is pasted and copied from woman to woman whenever they act in a series in which their role is that of personality void human flashlight and doesn't really mean anything at all. It's that, and the fact that the series was supposed to be a feminist view on the world of celebritydom and Hollywood, but then the female director was fired in favor of hiring Levinson because The Weeknd threw a tantrum about the show being too focused on the female aspect of the question, rather than putting the spotlight on him.

I don't know, I feel like I'm the only one who's been conflicted about this series (which I have no intention of watching legally nor by pirating it, because it disgusts me to the bone) and wanted to know if someone else thought the same, or if there was no moral/interior conflict upon reading all the articles written by the exploitation of the female cast and how rape is depicted.

--

I hadn't even heard about it. I guess I haven't been watching much TV lately.

I think a lot of sexually transgressive media is made by people who, frankly, don't know how to execute something like that in a safe or self-aware way. You definitely do see examples where the actors say they were cool with it and I believe them, but the ones I can recall have mostly been indie movies or stuff from Europe with very different production dynamics.

I met a lady in L.A. who works as a... man, I can't even remember the term, but she's the person on set who works with the actors before a sex scene to figure out their limits and be a buffer between them and the director. For indie films, the usual procedure is to kick 99% of the crew off the set so the actors only have to deal with each other, the director, and the camera person.

I think live action media about weird sex stuff is harder to do safely and ethically than a written work is, but it can be done. That doesn't mean they did a good job in this case though.

[underdog1224557]

So I listened Aaron Beauregard’s book Playground a couple days ago, absolutely loved it. I decided to listen to The Slob by the same author and I’m really not as into it. In fact I kind of hate it.

What I want in a splatterpunk book is PLOT! I want comedy, drama, gore, and a HAPPY ending! Like yeah this book is just a woman goes into a house, gets assulted a lot, and leaves…great for telling me? I don’t care! I want stuff to happen!! That’s why I liked playground so much, not only was there the drama of the kids situation, but there was also the adults trying to “crack” Rock and make him admit that he essentially hates what he is doing. The part with Rock was actually much more interesting to me than the kids. I know what will happen with the kids, but with rock and the adults there’s more of an internal struggle than external. Although I will say during the “skateboarding” scene I audibly was SCREAMING!!

Again I want a book that will not only make me audibly gasp but make me invested in the characters. I love splatterpunk but I feel like so much of it is just rape and murder with nothing else, I want a STORY to read!! Not just some case file of what happened to someone.

Anyway:

Playground by Aron Baeregard I would give a 10/10

Slob by Aron Beauregard I didn’t actually finish becuase I didn’t like it, but I would give it a 3/10

Ps. also haha if anyone knows good splatterpunk books with a dash of humor maybe u could reccomend me some idk maybe if you want to

[ilynpilled]

Is there any hint Jaime could possibly have dyslexia or a learning disability in books? I think I've heard that it wasn't, but idk it feels like that's a detail from the show that did well portraying Jaime. Idk maybe it's my learning disability ass but I loved that!! But I also just love looking at Jaimes insecurities. It could be another detail that kept him relying on masking/being ultra warrior bc he probably doesn't think of himself as very smart.

yeah the insecurity regarding his intelligence, especially in terms of book smarts, is present in the books too. he really admires the quality in tyrion, and emulates it, often successfully too [saving brienne from rape, achieving things like manipulating shagwell without the methods he previously relied on (force, or even status at some point doesnt work so he has to really think outside of the box, like again, sapphires), tyrion rescue mission, the riverlands .] he can also be very perceptive. he is pretty good at noticing weak points. he hones in on cat’s relationship with jon, he does the same with brienne, looking out for and noticing all of her insecurities in response to her dehumanizing him, and the same happens with loras & kind of using his relationship with renly to prevent the bloodshed in the yard. he is actually just a good mediator in general. that makes so much sense to me bc of his role in his family. he is the only member that everyone likes, while every other party would love to tear each other to shreds, so his specific role in an abusive household is very clear. anyway, jaime’s most severe insecurity is being viewed as a monster. for this reason, he seeks out that *thing* in everyone else so he is not as vulnerable. he can be very good at reading certain people, this is also why his perspective is so popular among readers imo. like he also has an air of tyrion to him, he can also provide a new, and often clearer, vision of certain characters because of his personality & experience (like his argument with brienne regarding robert). this is also just funny when he has such major blindspots regarding other things (romanticization of cersei and sometimes the old kg, though he goes back and forth w this). i think post aerys, jaime really did resolve to not really make decisions anymore and not being someone with responsibility (he was never that interested in power, even before that, but i think he was not that opposed to responsibility, he was ready to be the heir, he did want to be a kg and a good knight), instead, he dissociated and lived pretty much on autopilot. even when he was a commander he was reckless enough to always be on the frontlines and was okay with dying (see the whispering wood). he was impatient and very impulsive because he dreads facing “knots and tangles” (like the horrid moral knot that the aerys situation was, and its devastating consequences) so instead of even trying to think about them he wants to just make them disappear and cut through them. until he cant. for multiple reasons, external and internal. until he has to sit down and untangle them. and he proves himself capable. i liked the learning disability aspect that he was given in the show, it is a nice dimension, and i think he has attributes that i really relate to as well (like how he can fixate and excel in one thing & put all his focus on it, how he keeps saying “oh tyrion would talk so much about history here haha nerd” and then proceeds to spend 2 pages infodumping loras with kg lore, or that one scene where he gets distracted counting coins lol), but i think a lot of it already makes sense without that being actually canon, idk like i wouldnt actually diagnose him (he has no trouble reading from what we have seen) but i am not about to come for anybody’s headcanons

[barbiegirldream]

where's my Song of Achilles anon at ! I read the book. liked some stuff didn't like other stuff. it was fanficition of a two thousand year old poem from a three thousand or more year old story. stuff gets silly. Odysseus was still my favorite he's always my guy. Anyway rest of my thoughts under the cut

I think I liked the perspective of Patroclus a really normal guy next to the warrior of the ages. One pov of a boy unsure of his place in the world surrounded by men older and claiming to be wiser and his godly boytoy.

this personally made me cackle. Patroclus is that oh my god get him some brown contacts please meme.

The myths were actually pretty good. I like how vague they were about Patroclus's mother there are like six different women in history claimed to be her it's really Patroclus's paternal ancestors that matter.

I think it's genuinely a major issue with the plot that Patroclus knew of the prophecy and still acted in accordance to Homeric Legend. I just think he should have found out right before but too late when they're in Troy already perhaps in an angry scorn from Thetis about he'll lose too.

Like you I also thought it was stupid as fuck how Patroclus was a totally useless twink. Didn't even know about legendary Myrmidons the fighting force named after his great grandfather mind you. The mythic ant stuff is literally his own family history.

Achilles being so nervous about the war only to fall into it so easily. Like a god finding their domain he was born for it. I really enjoyed the nitty gritty of war planning too. Him getting Achilles dressed the lips being the only part of him still soft. That was awesome why is that no quoted more. Achilles climbing onto Patroclus covered in blood like god that scene is going to be in my head on a loop. There is so much to it. Patroclus knowing him by scent and touch alone but what creature has come to wake him? Achilles so proud of what he's done seeing the revulsion in his lover who was so sure nothing Achilles could do would revolt him.

There could have for sure been so much more to a much more sensitive Patroclus being unable to love Achilles anymore and that's why Achilles stops fighting until Patroclus realizes he can't hold back his demigod lover from greatness. Taking the book in a radical direction but alas.

Brisies was very well done I appreciated her character a lot. I think it was a very good choice to expand on her mythos and remove a lot of the violence. People often read myths and go oh so he raped her when that's either not stated in the text/not needed to include other than their fetishes driving them.

ALSO so fucking annoying Patroclus doesn't die because he's no good at fighting he dies because Hector is Better. Hector is the sole reason the Acheans struggled. He was the Trojan Achilles idk how that point got turned into well Patroclus could barely hold a spear tee hee. Spending the whole book being like Patroclus can't fight ooh one of Achilles's generals is useless. To then be like jk as in accordance with the Iliad he's really good and killed a bunch of people is actually bad writing sorry. I did giggle at Apollo just fucking with him knocking him off the wall all pretty like just twirling his perfect hair.

Turning Troilus the son of Apollo who Achilles chased down tried to rape and then beheaded in the temple of Apollo leaving his mutilated body for his father to die and therefore the reason Apollo kills him into a random death cause the boy was an idiot. Like Troilus literally the Greek representation of losing a young son to unjust murder. Well okay then...

Thetis raising Achilles's son here is so perfect because that boy is rancid. He saw Agememnon and said I could do worse watch I'll go kill Hector's baby just for fun. And they really delivered on what a piece of fucking shit he was.

Thetis giving in, in the end was really good. Liked it

Overall I think the book was really good. I approached it from the knowledge this is taking thousands of years of myths and giving it to the perspective of a side character and I think it delivered.

[chumpovodir]

To piggyback on your uncomfortableness about Lenore's design, I think the real skeevy part of the sex scenes is how Alucard and Hector are described

Hector gets constantly compared to a child (or a puppy...), we are constantly reminded that he never grew up, and his wide eyed naiveté is his main character trait

Alucard is, on text, a teenager in a grown man's body due to his dhampir nature, which I suppose explains why he's so surly and bitchy

The two manchildren, and only them, get graphic sex scenes where they are deceived due to their innocent/good nature

If they were women, I am positive they'd be called "minor coded" and the whole scene being accused of covert pedophilia or something like that. In any case, it's just... gross on so many levels. Those two characters were done so unspeakably dirty

(i really let 3+ weeks go by without answering this huh. okay.)

yeah, there's nothing here i don't already agree with. mmmmmaybe if you really want to swear up and down these two characters are supposed to be quite literal manchildren then. definitely don't involve them in weird graphic sex scenes that both turn into rape by deception...?

but also on the other side of this, it's frustrating, now that i notice it, that the show itself really tries to tell us they're manchildren but doesn't seem interested in actually following through by showing us any of this. it even gets pretty contradictory at times imo this is a bit of a tangent tbh but i feel like it's another criticism worth addressing because it just...bugs me that there's this consistent pattern of decisions being made carelessly and it's a net negative no matter how you look at it, which i'll explain in a bit:

so especially in Hector's case, the manchild angle always came off as kinda weird to me - like first off, he's introduced to us as killing his own parents as a child. wouldn't that lend itself better to a narrative that he had to grow up too fast, his innocence clearly lost at such a young age?

i'm pretty surprised, having re-watched S2, that he comes across as more competent than Isaac, the way he actually attempts to strategize and come up with a plan of attack, while Isaac is mostly just coddling Drac and moping and scowling in the background. (most of Hector's S2E2 lines are just him arguing with the council and trying to push some kind of resolution forward) and hey, Drac is even interested at Hector's objections to the one time Isaac brings up a plan! so... why do they then spend the next episode dunking on him being a "manchild"? at this point, Hector has actually done more for the war effort. that doesn't really sound like being a manchild to me? sure, all his objections are tinged with his principles of ensuring there's as little needless suffering as possible, but that's hardly an immature stance to take. and how is it even Hector's fault that Drac lied to him, he even admits as much? narrative darling Isaac is the one that comes off as being immature to me in all this, only sharing his knowledge of alucard's whereabouts and the possibility of a Belmont being in the picture after Hector disagrees with him and catches Drac's attention, which to me read as Isaac trying to one-up Hector in this scene. wouldn't it have been to the entire war council's benefit and even Drac himself if he volunteered that information sooner? the way Carmilla blows up on Godbrand should tell you all you need to know about the urgency of the matter, yet Isaac is choosing to keep this information to himself and only brings it up when it would seemingly benefit his own standing in Drac's court. doesn't seem very mature to me :/ (and seems weirdly ooc for him?) he doesn't even act on this information by, idk, volunteering a troop of night creatures to raid the Belmont Hold, again this falls to Hector to deal with (under dubious circumstances, sure, but he actually does something about it)

after all this, why am i supposed to believe Hector is a manchild? if S3 and S4 had gone any other way, i might have interpreted it as the narrative trying to show how everyone around Hector underestimates him due to his more merciful nature (paralleling Lenore's character) but yeah, because nothing comes of it, it just makes the implications of an already uncomfortable scene even worse. and then there's Alucard and the "teenager trapped in a grown man's body"…i don't know what to think of this line, honestly. taken at face value it obviously opens a whole can of worms for their choices in S3E9, but it also kinda just feels like a throwaway line for comic relief…? the whole sequence it happens in is part of some light banter between him and Sypha, and yeah it would explain the shit attitude he has towards Trevor but also. this is NFCV Trevor - he's kind of a shithead to Alucard every opportunity he gets, is it really any wonder Alucard would be less than friendly with him…? i can buy that Trevor's unique brand of off-putting is enough to get under Alucard's skin, considering all the emotional turmoil he's going through. why not just sink to his level and blow off some steam by matching his energy y'know, even if it is ooc as hell again, not disagreeing with any of your points, more just showing how even if you try to devil's advocate for the show's decision, it ends up not making any sense either. bad writing and bad decisions all around, how is this 'the adaptation of all time'

[forthisone]

Thoughts after finishing Season 5 of The Handmaid’s Tale last night.

This show hits different now I am a mother. Especially Episode 7, oof.

So these are fresh thoughts after watching the season over a couple of weeks. I haven’t really digested the season yet, haven’t read any commentary etc.

Firstly, I found this season so much easier to watch and less gratuitous, thank you S5 gods for that. Obviously there’s still so much trauma and pain going on but thank you for not subjecting me to multiple torture and rape scenes this season.

Serena

I didn’t hate the Serena stuff. I think probably because I’m fresh out of pregnancy/childbirth… still breastfeeding, etc. They showed how June as a mum (showing concern for Noah’s welfare) trumped the June that hates Serena to death and I liked that. Mothers are powerful. I also appreciated Serena with The Wheelers having a firsthand taste of a slight glimmer of what June had experienced with the Waterfords (obviously not as bad but the panic and fear and anger was there). I’m glad it seems to have finally humbled her and made her realise how fucked up it all was. Like we all thought she got there in 2.13 when she let Nichole go but now she FINALLY IS THERE. As a new mum, I have enjoyed Serena’s arc this season. I can’t think of anything worse than someone keeping me separate from my one month old telling me that they are letting them cry it out all day and night.

Idk I think I just forgot it was Serena honestly and enjoyed the portrayal of a new mum fighting for her baby.

Nick

Oooookay. Lots to unpack.

So when I saw the Rose reveal in episode 1 I was kind of relieved because it seemed like they were kind of friends and maybe Nick wasn’t as trapped as he felt with Eden. Which I think was true. But I would have been a lot more interested to understand their relationship a bit better. I have a lot of question marks still, ten episodes and they barely explored it. That line one of the Wives gives about something genetic inherited with the baby? That was weird. Is that alluding to the future? Or was that just a Wife being a dick, unsure.

Also, the Nick I know and love would never have wished for June to take up Lawrence’s offer of New Bethlehem. The scene in 5.09 was just weird for me. It was like the dodgy uncle of the magic we got in 4.09. Was it the same location too? Maybe?

Still waiting for the scene of Nick having a good cry and I feel they missed a trick with the hospital room scene. We are never going to get it, are we?

Basically my favourite Nick scene of the whole season was Tuello on the bridge with Nick

where he asked about running away with her (ps. I feel like they keep nodding to this “running away together” line and I am here for it, please God let this be a nod to the future? When Nick said “I’m nothing.” And Tuello replies “Not to her.” … god damn if that didn’t tap into my feels from the scene that made this ship an OTP for me. The hospital corridor kids scene in 2.07 where June says “What about you?” and Nick kisses her because just once he feels like somebody to someone.

Also how beautiful was it that he just wanted to see her and kiss her head at the hospital and then essentially that’s all he needs to sign his life away.

I don’t understand why Nick punched Lawrence really (I mean, I understand, but I feel like out of everything, he would have had time after seeing June to regain his composure and put the mask back up). But I can only hope it was in Nick’s plan. Maybe he wants to get transferred somewhere else? Closer to Hannah so he can pass Tuello info? He knows Lawrence owes him a pardon?

Then again I feel like maybe he just finally lost his shit which is understandable. I just didn’t expect it to happen that way. My man is smarter than punching a Commander in front of a room of other Commanders. He knows how to get revenge more subtly. No? Maybe not when it comes to June.

I loved that June thought about Nick before they left the train. Telling Tuello to let him know she and Nichole are safe.

Update: after sleeping on it and speaking to a couple of others, I’ve realised he’s just absolutely done and he doesn’t care about the mask slipping anymore. I don’t think it was impulsive per se as it took a long drive to get to Lawrence’s.

I am interested for where this will take Nick next season but I sincerely sincerrreeely hope he and Janine break out of Eye HQ and start fucking shit up.

Luke and Luke/June

I mean. I’m a Nick fan so. You know. I struggled with the Luke/June stuff this season. It felt a bit like a reversal of where we had got to with Season 4. I’m kind of over the love triangle to be honest but I get that Luke is in her life. He’s not going to disappear. She will always love him. I just felt confused as to where June’s head is at, whereas I didn’t by the end of Season 4. It feels like wasted time.

The scene in 5.9 where he grabbed her to stop her meltdown and she’s like “Please let me go.” I think was telling.

When Luke said in episode 6 “I wish I could have been the guy to come and get you out” HI NICK BLAINE. Oh how I wished he would have showed up and got them out.

I guess Luke kind of did do that in the finale. He got them out. Yeah I’m not the biggest Luke hater, I just see him as sort of Your Average Joe but not right for June anymore. Obviously. But he stepped up a bit in 5.10. At least he saved her from being killed.

Moira

Samira Wiley has been criminally under used this season, that is all. I feel like the writers forgot that Moira was a) a Jezebel and b) also killed a Commander to escape Gilead… so why is she having so much trouble relating to June?

Hannah

I wish they’d got Hannah out and Season 6 could be more about the healing and the aftermath. For all the characters really. I felt June’s pain at taking any opportunity to be near her daughter. I’d be tempted by New Bethlehem too, as mad as that sounds to me. I get it. That whole concept was weird though. And I fear it will reappear in Season 6 and I don’t want it.

Those are main thoughts now. 11pm and I’ve just finished the season.

It felt good to binge a season again, I haven’t done that since Season Two. I think watching the season in one go is better than enduring crumbs slowly week by week.

I’m wondering now if Season 6 can possibly do all I want it too but I’ll gather my wishes for the final season in another post.

What is Nick’s end of the bargain for Tuello letting him see June in hospital? Obviously inside knowledge but how will he get that knowledge now he has exposed himself in Gilead?

[random-person10]

Bridgerton

Ok so i’m rewatching it now out of pure boredom and i’ve realized somethings and one of them is that Eloise is a fucking idiot.

Don’t get me wrong, she is one of my favourite characters but for someone who reads so much and counts as more curious than others she is absolutely oblivious to things that are impossible to be oblivious about.

First of all, the thing about her not knowing how babies are born. I get it, her mother didn’t explain squat, that’s fair, but Eloise reads... there are poems, books, and many many scripts that mention that shit. Now yes, that is fault of the show writers fine, but still I found it so dumb that they tried to make a gag out of it when it just wasn’t consistent.

Second thing, the number of times that Penelope has slipped and almost revealed herself in season 2. Eloise was able to find the same fucking paper material as whistledown’s but could not figure out that Penelope’s speech about being an observer of gossip was ample evidence. 

Another thing that bugs me is how little the show writers show her writing talent. If Eloise is so keen on becoming a writer, why aren’t we shown any of it? We get to see benedict’s art and his adventures at it but never get a glimpse at her writing or her love for it other than that she reads. Yes, benedict is a man and gets to peruse his passion, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t get a glimpse at her own life in a single episode. All I see from Eloise is her remarks on sexism and how shitty stereotypes are, which I love to see, but I would also like to see her talent, it just feels like they wanted to add a feminist character for the lines and attitude. 

I know Eloise isn’t meant to be some sort of genius, but rather someone who is able to recognize the silliness in the world around them, it’s just that her curiosity and consumption of knowledge doesn’t match some of the things she does. 

However, I do love many other things she does, like when she states to her mother how her beliefs and actions are not just some act of rebellion for others to admire. I love that scene and wished they could’ve explored that part of her more. Because that’s what it’s truly about. 

Another is how she wants to look for Lady Whistledown in order to discuss ideas and shit woman-to-woman, it’s very wholesome and I liked her detective attitude towards it.

Also, Colin is not a character. He has less personality and presence than fucking gregory, but alas, I always thought this and just wanted to mention it. I know a lot of people love him and I get it I guess but like all he has is being Penelope’s love interest and even that is flavourless and feels half-assed. I just wish that the writers put a little more effort into the siblings. 

I hate how they queer baited people with Benedict just to make him the straightest person in season 2. Heart eyes for both men and women, looking at both the naked figure of men and women, literally admiring Henry Graville, not his life, but him, and then throwing it all in the trash is so fucked up. I still hope they at least make him canonically bi. 

I loved how they showed Anthony’s growth, in season 1. He showed that he could learn from the mistakes he did with his sister and mother and actually changed his ways, it was so refreshing. 

Daphne’s trick/rape with Simon was horrible I lack the words for it,I know the book had it, but the show could’ve literally avoided adding it, its triggering and totally evil I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know whether to hate Daphne or the writers because her character was totally amazing up until that episode. 

I used to hate the Featheringtons a lot on my first watch but actually enjoyed watching them this time around idk it just felt different. I guess I had a little more morality the first time and just don’t care this time but yeah no I love them, especially Lady Featherington, she fucking rules bro, she’s a little evil but she’s what Eloise wished she was. Lmfao jk but yeah Lady Featheringtons a boss. 

love mama bridgerton, she deserves better, (should teach her kids about sex coz wtf) shes my love. 

love lady danbury, she also deserves better.

[laesas]

Omg please tell me about daemi's kimchay and macau

Ok so - Disclaimer that this is all like 3rd hand information from twitter and chats with the mutuals (I do not have twitter and cannot read thai novels!)

TW for Suicide and Sexual Violence. (I will be putting this under a readmore just in case.)

So Macau I am more certain on - He commits suicide in front of Vegas (I think) by jumping from a building. I briefly talked about it at the time (because fan responses were getting a little too close to blaming victims and their families for suicides) and while I personally think it's an interesting choice for the character I think the way that it was handled was in poor taste.

Now I'm less sure on this and can't find a bunch of sources on it anymore so maybe it was a rumour - but apparently in another scene in the same novel, Kim rapes Porchay in a fit of jealousy.

If that is true it's like ??? Do you not have any other plot points at all??? Are neither of you capable of coming up with scenarios other than non-con for the couple who are the softest in the books and the show. You've written one character not involved in the mafia at all and another trying to escape it, why is that the narrative choice for them?? As well as being weird and ooc it's just...... uncreative? Only there for shock value. I like Kim and Chay and will *absolutely* be ignoring this characterisation if it's true lol.

I can't say I'm the biggest fan of daemi considering the content of the novels anyway. I think the show did a decent job at walking that line back to dubious consent (by having Pete and Porsche initiate) but obviously even that is not to everyone's tastes. As much as dubious-consent is the theme in the show, the novels romanticise non-con completely uncritically, which paired with the "straight until forced to have sex with a gay man" theme that novel Pete and Porsche have going on is like. Ew. Idk. I'm personally not going to be respecting their writing decisions lol.

Also another disclaimer. This isn't a Let's Hate Poi post. I don't like her writing, or her treatment of the cast, however that is in no way enough to make me believe that what has allegedly happened between her and Build isn't completely heartbreaking. I have a hard line about discussing this issue though - just for reference any asks about this will be deleted without reading, anonymous or not. It's hard to convey tone here but I don't mean this unkindly! I just very much cannot discuss it for personal reasons, but need to make it crystal clear the critique is specific to Poi's writing and I don't want to align myself with those adding to attacks on her personally.

Anyway! Not a cheery post. But hopefully that explains what I meant by disliking daemi's treatment of KimChay and Macau!

[autismnation]

ok so i just watched the movie split. and wow. what a shit show.

like it had a strong start, it seemed pretty interesting. im very glad 2/3 girls werent idiots and actually did what they could to escape. but the other one casey (idk if thats how u spell her name but im spelling it like that) was SO ANNOYING. idk it was probably her trauma or something but why did she literally not do anything??? she was all like “oh its not gonna work” and then as soon as she was on her own she got her ass in gear. what a team player 🙄 /sarc

speaking of her trauma, what even was it? i think she was raped or sexually assaulted by her uncle and then had to live with him after her father died, and she started self harming, i think. i understand that through the flashbacks but what were the other flashbacks even about? i know it was about hunting but considering the fact she didn’t even use the advice her father gave her, what was the point? like you really don’t need to show her love for her father because it’s a fucking given. maybe to show how innocent she was? idk still a given fact. like every child is innocent, most children love their dads. unless you specifically show her dad being an asshole, we’re gonna know she loves him.

on one hand, (i might be reading too deep) but it is very interesting to read this in an abused/abuser way. like the beast in kevin’s body is the abuser and hedwig, patricia and dennis are the abused and cling to the abuser because it makes them feel protected, even though the beast/abuser is doing harm (by fucking eating people). and then ofc casey, despite doing everything to survive when she was kidnapped and also running away from home, still ends up with her abuser (rapist uncle). that’s a cool thing to think about. i wish they went down that road instead of ‘ahhhh people with DID are big scary beasts!!!!’

and also i knew that this movie would not be respectful in any way possible. i didnt even want to watch the movie because i knew it would portray people with DID as monsters (crazy how i was right! /sarc) but my dad forced me to watch it lol. and like not only is it so disrespectful and contributes to the stigma around DID, it was so…lazy. like i thought it would be interesting to have the alters inside kevin fight or whatever (like some alters send the emails) and then at the end, the girls escape and kevin gets help. which i know is too hopeful of an ending. but it’s way better in my opinion from having some weird ass beast. why was it strangely catholic? its like the writers didnt know how to end it and just were like hmmm ok supernatural beast it is. and i spoke to my dad about this and he agreed that the beast thing was too predictable because they spoke about the beast too much. and what even was the beast. it was just the same guy but had like black contacts and prominent veins and blood from his teeth. not scary. i had to try hard not to laugh at some scenes because they were just so ridiculous…

also what was that weird thing where they mentioned dennis was a pedo then just…didnt bring it up again. dont get me wrong i do NOT want a movie about a pedo kidnapper, but this whole movie seems like a mess so i had to comment on how strange this is. like theres a few more details that are just mentioned then left and ignored but this is the one that irks me the most. oh, also the beast only left casey around bc it saw her self harm scars. what if she didn’t have any scars ?? big plot hole or the beast is just supposed to be dumb or something? like its all like “oh yeah everyone has to suffer to be ‘pure’ but if it doesn’t leave scars ur not valid and ill eat u 🤬🤬”

idk weird movie. only good part was hedwig because he’s funny and i feel bad for him. everyone’s acting was super good too. overall i would give it a wtf/10. jk like a 4/10, maybe a 5. also i hope its not just me who thinks this movie is crap. it had potential and it was thrown away.

[feral-radfem]

About your opinion on erotica, I'm an OSA leaning febfem, and while my sexuality has been warped to a degree by exposure to erotica/porn in late teen years; I thought I'm the only one who's found erotica unappealing? I haven't read gay/lesbian erotica so I can't give my opinion on that, but het erotica is just...male dominant verbs and vocabulary and pornhub-esque language used to describe hetero activities (piv or otherwise), the woman having an extreme desire to be dominated, the woman is the passive/submissive sexual partner by default

...almost as if she herself doesn't feel that much attraction to the male partner. I've checked out a dozen of het erotica and I've stumbled upon het sex scenes in novels that are not erotica, and none of them have turned me on. None. The female perspective feels too passive, sacrificial or self degrading to me idk. Even the most vanilla het sex scenes have male-active vocabulary, let's be honest. I haven't seen someone come up with some creative new female-active vocab--or if they do they use it in a degrading way instead of depicting dominance/agency.

Not only was it not enjoyable, but it worsened my perception of my body. It can be so degrading to the point where it made me feel like my vagina is just inferior. Whether it's the interior part with which piv happens or the exterior, visible parts. At one point in my life when I did not know of female biological advantages, and the advantages of having a relatively smaller body, the physical power dynamic in erotica/sex scenes made me unable to look at myself in the mirror. One work without trigger warnings is enough to do this. One doesn't need to specifically read erotica constantly to feel this way.

And the femdoms are just--too much idk I don't like bdsm anyways.

I already live in a religious country with the most unpleasant of people, so I didn't need to feel even worse about my body. So after 18, I didn't read any, and began skipping the sex scenes in books.

If I remember correctly, I've had the honor of reading a line like, "While I've been taught the values of feminism my whole life, what I desire in bed is not that feminist." Something in that lines. I've read this maybe five years ago; I don't remember that accurately...and like? Why's she talking like her preferences aren't mainstream in hetero spheres, even the feminist ones? I've read a whole ass article on why being a female sub in hetero bdsm doesn't make a woman any less of a feminist; and that "aksually, the sub has all the power and decides the course1!!!111!" and then the female character throws a pity party over the fact that what she likes in bed is not...acceptable?

It was a good book with an interesting plot but I put down the book after that one line. Maybe the sex scene wasn't that bad but I couldn't care less.

I haven't purchased the local romance/erotica books because for one, fuck people's definition of romance and two, I don't want to read one more shitstain mention the virginity seal (the tests are still legal here), and three I'm repulsed by any potential themes of religious prostitution, but my friends have told me it depicts explicit rape and abuse (not modernized like bdsm, just classic abuse)--and honor murder; it is shown as something that makes the female character fall further in love. They told me not to read any.

Sorry for my rambling. I just wanted to add my perspective. I haven't read erotica for a while now so I don't know if anything's changed.

Thanks for your blog.

First off you never ever have to apologize to me nor anyone else for engaging in a public forum. You have just as much right to use the functions of this blog that I have kept open to the public as everyone else. You've done nothing wrong, so there's no need to apologize. :)

The patriarchy keeps women complicit by convincing us that us, as individuals, are the only women uncomfortable with aspects of patriarchal society that we are pressured to engage in. That is rarely the case however. It may not be comforting to some, but I find it very relieving to know that there is 7 billion people on this planet and I'm not unique amongst them. There are hundreds of thousands of women who have lived life so similar to mine that I could never be alone in my negative feelings nor my positive ones and that applies to everyone else too.

Thank you for your perspective around heterosexual erotica. I'll have to admit that's not a form of erotica I ever willingly engaged in before I stop engaging in this media myself. So your perspective is great. I'm not surprised that those writings seem to focus on how women performed in the bedroom as a act rather than how they felt, even though it is written by women typically. Nor am I surprised that it is typically presented as a man domineering over a woman. That is simply women's writings reflecting our society, and though many of them don't recognize this when putting it out in the public, reinforcing women's positions within the bedroom to other women.

We all have a male voyeur living in our head watching us and when there's not we keep ourselves in line by guessing and adjusting to how we believe men would perceive us at any given moment. That's a paraphrasing of another woman's theory, I believe Margaret Atwood but I think it's applicable here. It has become so ingrained into women, I believe osa women especially due to the intimacy amongst you and men, that their purpose is to serve others first and consider themselves never that I'm not incredibly surprised that their writings reflect that perspective of themselves. For women who have known no difference in their own intimate lives and haven't had nothing different reflected to them through other women's experiences they begin to believe that their subservience under men is natural, even though we know it is not.

A lot of times women will justify their own behaviors by calling them feminist, especially with choice feminism being the dominant strain of feminism at the moment, because there is shame and understanding that you are helping to uphold the system that hurts you. There's embarrassment associated with that. So I don't think it's incredibly shocking that women who actively engage in power dynamics that disadvantage them try to convince themselves that they are actually the ones in control. They feel like they need to do these things to keep their partner (which they believe is a necessary milestone to meet to be "good" women) or that it's simply expected of them with the threat of consequences for inadequate service. So the cognitive dissonance helps them do what they believe they have to or justify not taking accountability for the things they're choosing to do.

I personally think romance is a little overrated, especially as a literary genre. A lot of times romance novels, especially ones written by women, are used to create the idea in other woman's heads that they are good men out there and they just have to find the right one. It completely dismisses that most of these men act like normal well-adjusted people at the beginning of relationships and then steadily get worse the more emotionally dependent or attached their partner becomes. Well I definitely wouldn't put them in the same category I put erotica, which I believe is detrimental, I think romance novels are idealistic and have a hard time suspending my belief, especially when I start seeing signs of codependency being romanticized. People who don't engage in romantic novels aren't necessarily missing much.

Thanks again for the message, I wouldn't have known the perspective of women who read heterosexual erotica otherwise. Your participation was valuable. :)

[zalrb]

It’s interesting that you mention Rhaenyra being pretty chill with sex for not having thought about it before, because in the books Rhaenyra was actively curious about sex and actually asks Daemon to take her to the brothel (according to one version of events anyway). So yeah, showing her being curious and actively doing something about her curiosity rather than being led into it would have been more interesting. Also, in the books she is the one who asks Viserys to let them get married, so it feels like the show is taking away some of her agency. Which is weird because they were going the whole “female empowerment” angle this episode, so idk why they changed it.

That would make a lot more sense because I found everything so abrupt and yet typical at the same time?

Like I could see from a mile away that she was going to eventually have sex with Criston since in the previous episodes there are some brief glances of interest but even the way that's framed in this episode, there are so many "Rhaenyra taking control of her pleasure" takes but it just read to me like Rhaenyra couldn't have sex with Daemon so she has sex with Criston and that holds absolutely no narrative weight for me. The only reason why there's a "female empowerment" angle is because we see what's happening with Alicent, like it’s reliant on the fact that we see that ‘sex’ scene, and I think that's a lazy way to do this

It would’ve been much more interesting if Rhaenyra was in fact actively curious about sex.

It just reminded me of this plot line in The Borgias when after Lucrezia had been brutally and repeatedly raped by her first husband, her father tells her she has to get married again, and she’s obviously distraught, says she won’t marry but he says he’ll force her, and when he brings her a suitor, she wants his younger brother instead

but her father wouldn’t allow it, it does nothing for them politically, so she and Rodrigo argue about her resistance

so later on, her mother is like:

and Lucrezia takes that kind of attitude to heart.

And that’s what it seems like they were trying to do with the brothel and Daemon being like you’ll get married because it’s a duty but that doesn’t mean you can’t fuck whoever you want, take whatever you want but that just doesn’t translate when Rhaenyra doesn’t DO anything. She saw what happened to her mother so she’s wary of marriage, which fine, that’s fair, but because all she does is find secluded places to mope instead of actually actively doing things that compromise her happiness and make her miserable for the sake of duty, Daemon effectively being like you can still give into your desires and kinda sorta do your duty doesn’t hold any weight when we haven’t seen her sacrifice one for the other in the past for this to be a revelation to her.

I just went what’s the POINT of this episode or this plot line.

[lightlycareless]

tbh I can’t imagine y/n forgiving naoya after all what happened. he abused and insulted her, chapter 4 and 8 where sa‘d her (can’t get over it tbh because its really really sad and fucked up) and ofc their other intercourses too, she even told him that she’s in pain and he didn’t care. called her a whore and basically an attention seeker so many times. he humiliated and degraded her and OFFFCCC chapter 12??? I think idk, where he tried to rape her after her doctor visit even though he KNEW that it will hurt her really bad because of her condition at that time. and he almost raped her again but thank god she fought so hard to get out of there but the damage was done already (the an-l part was so puuh I just know it hurt her really bad, poor her) and then he wonders why she doesn’t like him like damn fr naoya you’re such a nice husband and such a good man, no fuck you bitch I hope you die bro. the AUDACITY i swear to god like how delusional and ignorant can you be? basically he‘s an abusive piece of shit and I really hope he dies idc.

SORRY i’m just mad af but I love you work, you’re an aaaamaaazing writer 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hello anon!!

Man, that’s completely valid—I think I might’ve dug myself into a bit-too-deep hole there haha but honestly… I couldn’t imagine Naoya acting any other way considering his upbringings.  He literally has 0 tact when talking to other people, and that’s not only his misogyny, like in general, the only person I think I’ve ever read him to be somewhat courteous to is Toji, and even then, we don’t know the complete story 😅

Naoya is a man with a really, really fragile ego, and to see that the woman he allegedly loves is indifferent, “disrespectful” to him, just hates him, oof, that must’ve been a HIT haha BUT HE’S STILL DELUSIONAL!!

However, let’s not forget that this is a very young Naoya, so there’s still some saving him!! He’s only 19, somewhat far away from what he turned out to be at 27… ah, nothing but a child (eeeh he’s an adult UNEXUSCABLE BEHAVIOR—and he was a lil brat when young too!)

That’s the magic of it, you see, trying to redeem him hahahahahahha I don’t know if I’m going to be able to pull that off after all the things he’s done, or if Y/N even wants to forgive him (or can), but it’s certainly nice to see where the characters take me 😏

But yeah, there’s no denying—all of the things he’s done to her are disgusting (the doctor part and what happened immediately after, and that one scene where he returned were absolutely painful for me to write 😥). And yet, Y/N was still able to find goodness in her heart to do what’s right, and understand that everyone was a victim there in one way or the other, however, she does not excuse his actions so…

Hopefully this will help Naoya realize he’s being a dumb bitch, and maybe, improve… 😒 WAKE UP PLEASE

If not, Naoaki is always there 😊

I guess we shall see what happens 😂 And don’t mind me, I loooove evoking these sentiments from my readers hahahahah it makes me feel as if I’m doing a good job, and motivates me to do my best!

Thank you so much for sending in an ask and for your lovely words 🥺❤, I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!