#the irony that is this episode being called “being free to be you and me" BC GUESS who didn’t really get to exercise their freedom

[opheliasam]

among the grating cesspool that is spn youtube clips comment sections… found some peers.. academics.. people who get it if u will

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

KINDRED — 40 (finale)

It’s your final year of highschool, and your only goal is to graduate top of your cohort, as usual. Except as student council president, your advisor can’t seem to leave you alone. What happens when you take Decelis Academy’s top student, their star athlete and put them in front of a camera?

written (2.7k words)

❥･• episode 40 — her entire being is lovable

The week after Jungwon’s competition, the two of you slip back into the usual programming of studying together after school, despite the documentary having ceased filming. It's a curious irony, isn't it? Now liberated from the suffocating grip of your mother's expectations, free to pursue your own desires, yet you find yourself still tethered to your books, for she was right when she says you can’t go anywhere without decent grades. 

You also don’t know what else to do in school besides studying. The library, with its quiet embrace, has become your refuge, a familiar haven and a place where you seek clarity amidst the chaotic excuse you call your current predicament. With your resignation as student body president, all that remains is the race against time until your college entrance exams.

"Y/N, sorry for being late!" Jungwon's voice breaks through the quiet murmur of the library as he settles beside you in your customary corner. You offer him a shy smile, basking in the familiar scent of his cologne that wraps around you like a comforting blanket.

"I finished a whole chapter waiting for you," you tease gently, knowing full well that he'll feel a twinge of guilt for keeping you waiting, only for you to feel bad for making him feel bad. And now you’re both feeling guilty and he’s demanding a kiss from you to make up for it.

"I never took you for the clingy type in a relationship, Yang Jungwon," you chuckle softly, playfully pushing a finger against his forehead to halt any public displays of affection in the holy vicinity of a public library.

"Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d be rejecting my attempts at showering you with love when we’re a whole fortnight into dating," he pouts, his bag dropping to the seat beside you with a sullen thud. If one other thing did change aside from your relationship status, it would be the fact that Jungwon no longer sits across from you, but beside you. He insists it’s for practicality's sake, which to a certain extent you agree.

Truth be told, Jungwon just finds it distracting to be directly across from you, where he was in full capacity to be distracted by the beautiful features of your face. Not that the new arrangement helped anyway when he is still constantly reaching for your hand to hold, a silent plea for your touch that you gladly reciprocate.

“Why did the teacher hold you back anyway?”

"Couldn't believe my math grades improved so much; he thought I cheated on the recent quiz. Never thought I was doing so badly to make him doubt me that much."

"I mean… you were pretty horrendous," you quip with a grin, nudging him playfully. "Emphasis on ‘were’!" you add, teasingly, knowing he won't take it too seriously. He proves you right as he scoffs at your candid assessment of his past academic struggles. After all, deep down, you both know there's some truth to it...

"We have that final confessional with Producer Choi later today, right?"

"Yeah, can’t believe two months just flew by like that. Feels like just yesterday we were agreeing to only pretend to like each other." You snicker softly, sensing the irony in the situation now that you and Jungwon are in an official (not fake) relationship.

The irony is not lost on Jungwon as you catch his silent smile, knowing he, too, is lost in the memories of that pivotal moment, where pretence gave way to something real and profound.

"What's to say I'm not pretending right now?" Jungwon raises an eyebrow, eliciting an exaggerated gasp from you.

"Are you suggesting you still hate me?" you exclaim, feigning offence and playfully inching away from him on your chair. Jungwon's reaction is immediate, grabbing onto you as he pleads for you to stay, insisting he was only joking.

"So, you don’t hate me?" you inquire with mock seriousness.

"No, I would never!" He envelops you in a sideways hug, leaving you in a precarious position where, without his support, you'd probably topple off the chair, earning judgmental stares from every library patron within a half-mile radius.

With his arm around you, you gaze up at the finely sculpted features of his face, marvelling at how you ever found this man annoying in the first place. As Jungwon's fingers toy with the strands of thread hanging off your uniform blazer, a comfortable silence settles between you. 

“When’s your confessional?” Jungwon's question breaks the serene silence, prompting you to glance at the clock and realise the time constraints you're under.

"I'll have to leave soon if I don’t want to be late. Your confessional is right after mine, yeah?" you confirm, already mentally preparing to make your move.

"Yep, I’ll meet you at the gate after, and we could go for some snacks!" Jungwon suggests with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Is this another one of your tricks to feed me into a coma so we don’t have to study?" you quip, raising an eyebrow in playful scepticism.

Jungwon feigns innocence, his grin widening. "Who, me? Never!" he replies, his tone dripping with sarcasm. You chuckle, knowing full well his penchant for indulging in snacks whenever the opportunity arises. But as you gather your things and prepare to leave, you can't help but look forward to the prospect of spending some more time with Jungwon, even if it means indulging in a few too many treats along the way.

You arrive promptly at the confessional venue, positioned strategically in the field right by the entrance of the school so the logo can be seen clearly in the background.  This meant people, a lot of them, stopping nearby to watch and observe the commotion as it's not every day you get to see a whole camera crew in the front yard of your school.

Spotting Producer Choi among the crew members, you make your way over and exchange greetings. "Y/N! It’s been a while, hasn't it?" she exclaims with a warm smile.

"It has," you reply, returning her smile as you exchange pleasantries with the familiar faces of the cameramen stationed around you.

"It felt weird not seeing you around after having seen you almost every day for the last 2 months. Strangely enough, I kind of missed it," you admit, though you sense a hint of scepticism in Producer Choi’s eyes, as she knows damn well you were the most excited for this documentary to end. 

With a gesture from Producer Choi, you settle into the stool in front of the cameras, and the familiarity of the setting washes over you. It's strange how quickly this space has become a second home over the past few months, filled with the laughter of the crew members who have become like family. With that thought in mind, you mentally ready yourself to share your thoughts and reflections on the journey you've embarked on.

"First of all, thank you, Y/N, for agreeing to be a part of this documentary," Producer Choi begins as the camera lights turn red. You nod in response, feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement coursing through you.

"Let’s start by having you share with the viewers how you felt about this journey," Producer Choi prompts, her voice gentle yet probing.

"Well, it’s not easy, that’s for sure," you begin, your words flowing more easily now that you've found your rhythm. "It was an experience that urged me to step out of my comfort zone and explore beyond a routine that I was already used to. It was difficult, no doubt, but the friendships that I’ve made along the way made this whole journey worthwhile. If I were to go back in time, I would do it again."

Producer Choi nods encouragingly, her eyes reflecting understanding and empathy. "If that’s so, tell us the most important thing you gained from this documentary."

"This experience was precious to me in many other ways than one," you continue, your voice growing more animated as you recall the memories. "But if I were to point out the most important thing I gained out of this documentary, it would be myself. It’s a little cringy, I know. It still amazes me how much I managed to change in this short period of time. But you know what they say, the best discovery starts within you, and you best believe I discovered." 

The camera captures the sincerity in your eyes, the raw emotion shining through as you speak from the heart; a genuine reflection of your growth and transformation throughout the journey.

"Throughout the airing of ‘Kindred,’ the show has gained immense popularity among both domestic and global viewers, why do you think so?" Producer Choi asks, her tone shifting to a more analytical one.

"Honestly, the documentary was able to do well all thanks to Jungwon," you respond with a chuckle, thinking of your ever-charismatic boyfriend. "Without Jungwon, I genuinely think you guys would have produced the most yawn-bearing documentary to date. I acknowledge my lack of entertainment wits. There is also the whole strange pairing between Jungwon and I, even I admit that I’d be interested to find out how our very unique dynamics would work with each other."

The crew members share a knowing smile, having witnessed firsthand the magnetic chemistry between you and Jungwon that has captivated audiences around the world. It's a testament to the power of authenticity and genuine connection, something that can't be manufactured or scripted.

"Speaking about Jungwon, how has your relationship with him changed throughout the show?" Producer Choi inquires, her curiosity piqued.

"Jungwon is really special to me," you admit, a soft smile gracing your lips as you think of him. "I’m glad I got to properly know him through this experience. I’ll forever be grateful to ‘Kindred’ for bringing him into my life."

"Seems like there's something more to it, but I won't pry! But now that you’re graduating soon, what’s next?" Producer Choi prompts, her tone shifting to one of anticipation.

"Hmm… I’m not sure," you confess, feeling a pang of uncertainty creep in. "Ironic since you’d expect the girl with perfect grades to know what she wants to do. But I’m still working on that. Although, tutoring Jungwon made me realise how much I actually love teaching. May or may not consider pursuing it in the future, but we’ll see. I’m not in a rush anyway."

"Lastly, is there anything you want to say to the viewers of ‘Kindred’?" 

"To all the viewers of Kindred, thank you for all the support and attention you gave us!" you exclaim, genuine gratitude shining in your eyes. "I’m glad you found some sort of joy going through this journey with Jungwon and I. It’s an experience I’ll hold close to my heart forever."

As the final words leave your lips, you can't help but feel a sense of closure wash over you. This chapter of your life, filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears, is coming to an end. But as you look back on the memories you've created and the relationships you've forged, you know that the impact of this experience will stay with you for a lifetime.

"By the way, will Jungwon be doing his interview here too?" you ask, curiosity tugging at you.

"Why of course," Producer Choi replies with a smile.

"Can I watch?" you inquire, eager to see Jungwon in the hot seat for a change.

"You don’t see Jungwon here now, do you? We got to play it fair, Y/N," she says with a wink as she scurries you away from the film site, leaving you with a sense of anticipation for Jungwon’s answers now that you know the questions that were being asked.

"What was your answer to the question?" you grab onto his arms, shaking it relentlessly trying to get him to fold, even equipping your signature puppy eyes. Jungwon, however, continues to chew on his food that both of you bought off a random street cart, and is now seated at the very same bench where you shared your first kiss.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me,” you consider revealing your answers but decide against it when you think back to your responses and visibly cringe.

Jungwon, ever the enigmatic one, simply smirks, his lips curling into a playful grin. His eyes sparkle with mischief as he toys with you, taking another casual bite of his street food as if your inquiry were nothing more than a fleeting thought.

You roll your eyes, knowing damn well the game he's playing. This teasing banter, a familiar exchange between the two of you, only adds to the playful dynamic of your relationship. But deep down, you can't help but wonder what his answer might have been.

“I guess we’ll only know when they broadcast it,” you shrug, resigning to the mystery as you lean your head on his shoulders. The warmth of his presence beside you, and the gentle rhythm of his breathing, all serve as a comforting anchor amidst the bustling street around you.

As Jungwon reaches over to play with the strands of your hair, a comfortable silence washes over you. The sound of distant chatter and the occasional honking of car horns fade into the background, leaving only the two of you in your own little bubble of tranquillity.

With a playful smile, you reach up to gently swat at Jungwon's hand, feigning annoyance. "Stop messing with my hair," you tease, though secretly enjoying the attention. Jungwon chuckles, his warm breath brushing against your cheek as he leans in closer.

"But it's so fun," he counters, his voice a mere whisper. You roll your eyes playfully, unable to contain your grin. "You're lucky I like you," you retort, leaning into his touch despite your mock protest.

Jungwon's laughter fills the air, a melodious sound that resonates deep within you. His genuine joy is contagious, spreading warmth and happiness with every moment you share.

"I know," Jungwon replies with a smirk, tightening his hold around you. "And I'm lucky to have you." You smile to yourself, the warmth of Jungwon's words enveloping you like a soft embrace. His ability to express his feelings so openly still catches you off guard at times, leaving you feeling both exhilarated and a little overwhelmed.

"You know, you have a way with words," you tease, lifting your head to meet his gaze. Jungwon's smirk widens into a full-blown grin, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Only when I'm talking to you," he replies, his voice filled with sincerity.

The sincerity in his words touches something deep within you, stirring a gentle flutter of emotions in your chest. Despite any doubts or uncertainties that may linger, there's a sense of reassurance in knowing that Jungwon is by your side, ready to face whatever challenges come your way.

You never fully comprehended why you felt so connected to Jungwon in the first place. Sure, you could say that anybody in your position—forced to film a documentary 24/7 with a decent-looking boy (though you’d rather die than admit this back then)—you were bound to catch feelings.

To you, Jungwon is more than just a forced proximity crush; he's an anomaly in your otherwise stoic and academic-focused life. An anomaly that got you so frustrated trying to figure out why he’s such a constant pain in your ass. An anomaly that introduced you to the world outside of the one your mother delicately crafted for you—holding you to unrealistic expectations that she knew damn well you could never meet no matter how much you tried.

He helped you understand that this life is a journey that you shape. That no matter what, mistakes are inevitable. You can give your everything and still somehow manage to fuck things up along the way. Yet, the beauty lies in the way you get to decide how you’re going to fuck up. And there’s no one you’d rather navigate these missteps with than Jungwon.

And while many would assume that a student body president with good grades and a Taekwondo athlete who can't study to save his life would never go well together, these assumptions are proven to be false as you realise the many similarities you share with Jungwon. Like how either of you will do anything for the people you care about and for the things you wish to achieve. You could say the two of you are Kindred.

As you rest against him, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek, you can't help but marvel at the depth of your connection, forged through peculiar circumstances. 

With him, it doesn’t matter who you want or need to be.

With him, life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.

prev | masterlist | next

♡。·˚˚· ·˚˚·。♡

authors note: aaaaand that marks the end of kindred!! i have so much i want to say but i'll save it for when the epilogue comes out! in short, thank you so much to everyone who stuck till the end despite my super irregular posting schedule... 🫣 until next time!

perm taglist. @hajimelvr @s00buwu @urmomssneakylink @bubblytaetae @mrchweeee @artstaeh @sleeping-demons @yuviqik @junsflow @blurryriki @hueningcry @fakeuwus @enhaslxt

taglist! @uuzhanggggggg @aloloveswonie @jayhoonvroom @missingemobeomgyu @jiawji @ocyeanicc @s7noo @asterizee @nwjws @noascats @yunwonie @saturnmooonxx @enhaz1 @jiaant11 @clairecottenheart @i2lain @miumiuoi @zhounauts @neocockthotology @nanuer @yenqa @ahnneyong @chanhee-hee @yanqiiuver @yujmelon @keiisu @jaeyunniesimp @jiamini @jihanniee @lilriswife4life @i-yeseo @plutoslostagain @haqzm @ilovejungwonandhaechan

[sarnai4]

Deleted Scene??

This is something I noticed and am very curious if anyone else has too. Spoiler alert for RTTE. Is it just me or did both Grimborn brothers just randomly start hating Dagur? I think the first interaction between Dagur and Ryker was in "Night of the Hunters'" after the Riders tried to escape and it failed. Dagur makes a suggestion to kill one via throwing them off the side, Heather counters that to say they should spare them for Viggo, and Ryker just immediately implies that Dagur's an idiot. It's almost funny how unnecessary this was. It's also amusing to me how Ryker OF ALL PEOPLE would say, "Know who got the brains in your family." Excuse me, good sir, but you are not one to talk when you're taking orders from your baby brother, THE Viggo Grimborn. Hypocrisy aside, what Dagur said wasn't even foolish and would have actually been a smart move if they wanted to discourage the others. The Berkians would have been absolutely devastated if one of them had died that day. Instead, Ryker goes with Heather's plan, insults Dagur, and hits him on the back.

Just about every scene with them is like this. Heather even defends Dagur when Ryker complains in a later episode after seeing that not all the Riders left the Edge like Dagur wanted them to. In the same one, Ryker and Dagur find out that there were deserters. Dagur asks who and is upset when he learns that a Grimborn cousin turned traitor. Makes sense. He hates traitors and is a family-oriented person. This would shock him and he's always been an outspoken guy. When Ryker starts growling at him, he backs off and decides to suggest a new plan to make up for the losses. End of the tension, yes? The thing that was upsetting Ryker has stopped and now he can be calm again? Nope. He starts choking Dagur. Again, it nearly makes me laugh because it really comes out of nowhere. Why is he even mad at this point? Was Ryker that offended about Dagur talking about his turncoat cousin that even when he stopped, he still needed to be choked out?

This isn't even the last thing he does! In "Maces and Talons Part 2," Ryker threatens Dagur in case he thinks about hurting Viggo. I find this very amusing since this is the same man who had recommended killing Heather and is part of the idea to have Dagur imprison his own sister. But family means sooo much...when that family is Ryker's.

Viggo has way less scenes with Dagur, but they still manage to all be very passive aggressive. In his first line directed to Dagur alone, he practically calls him an imbecile, wondering if there are "any brains under all those scars and tattoos." Note to self: don't play a game with Viggo because you'll get your feelings hurt. Since we came in on the end, maybe Dagur really was just taking that long, but I also feel like his level of patience wouldn't have let him stand there for minutes on end without doing anything besides figuring out his next play. Since we've also seen Viggo insult Ryker's intelligence, I think this one is just because that's who he is and he will never respect someone he thinks is more of a physical threat. He's now making me think of that "mean nerd" trope in some stories where they try to bully the jocks by making them feel less than in other ways.

Viggo does take this a little further and have his first snappy scene too. This, of course, is directed at Dagur because why wouldn't it be? Not to sound like a broken record, but this doesn't feel necessary either. Yes, Dagur was being snarky, but Viggo also asked a pretty obvious question. Dagur would obviously know that the dragons were free if they're flying right above them. He just wanted to contribute to the plan since he is a chief in his own right. Not wanting to listen is one thing and I could understand Viggo not wanting to use someone else's ideas, but to say in a matter of words, "Fool, you exist to follow orders. Don't think. I'll do that for you," is a little bit of an overreaction.

The dramatic irony of this is how their hatred was warranted, but they didn't know it. Dagur really never was on their side and was planning to kill them, so unless a deleted scene happened where he just cursed out everyone with Grimborn blood, maybe they intuitively knew something was off with him. If neither of those happened, I think the Grimmies just decide to pick on the new guy and see how long it would take for him to turn on them.

[benevolentcalamity]

In Her Eyes [Makima x Female!Reader]

Disclaimer: I have not watched an episode of Chainsaw Man before writing this. I do plan to sit down and watch it, but I do know enough to have a grasp on Makima and some other characters. (Why does Aki's English voice sound like a Lifetime heartthrob divorce attorney)

CURTAINS!

Nobody in your life had dared to call you passive. You, a woman just making it in a world where the war against the devils can - and will - risk you being collateral damage. Bouncing around job after job as a direct consequence of the strife, the only reason you've even managed to go on is seeing the Public Safety Devil Hunters cleaning up the mess. The Gun Devil's certainly created quite a mess...

Not to say that this conflict hasn't directly affected you as well, not just in terms of your home being destroyed in crossfire. Your family scattered like ants trying to get out of this place, effectively leaving you to face the music. The irony is most saddening there, considering you're alive and... Well, that song and dance is an everyday one anymore.

Well, all that's passed over and now you're here, free of your bra and pants after a hard day at work. To be specific about the job you work now, you're a mechanic that mostly works with cars. Considering you work in the same city as the Public Safety HQ, your boss had recently decided to train all of you in how to assemble/clean guns as well.

Who knew that today would be the day you got to experience an RPG cannon? And who knew that they were an absolute bitch to clean?

I guess I'd rather work kill me than anything else... You huff.

Eventually your legs fly up, and you 'catapult' yourself onto your feet. That's quite enough of that - you have to get yourself something to eat. If you don't, you'll go to bed hating yourself, which you do not need help with these days.

So you assemble a pot, some vegetables, some meat you had in the fridge... Maybe some bomb beef udon? Getting the pot on the stove, you reach for the dial-

ding-dong!

SHIT!

Flying into a panic - you're never keen on greeting people in your underwear - you run around your apartment, eventually saying 'fuck it' and ditching your dirty clothes for a nice shirt and dress pants. A second ding-dong on the door has you shifting into a full sprint, and you wash your face of excess filth and straighten out your hair.

"Coming!" You call, and you're at the door in record time. Taking a deep breath and making last minute adjustments you grab it, composing yourself and opening it prepared to make a million apologies.

Standing there, without the faintest annoyance on her face, is a woman, slender and elegant. Bright pink hair is put up in a bun, some strands framing her face like a delicate portrait. Her lips are shining with recently applied balm, and her faint aroma of paper and perfume reaches your nostrils in a blink.

But it's her eyes that captivate you most. They're a deep, almost glowing amberish-orange, an odd but not unordinary pattern dancing about her pupils. In the time it takes your gazes to meet, she's already torn right into your insides, probing them with just her gentle yet intense stare.

It's like this for a moment, you standing frozen in your doorway, her seeming to just stare straight into your soul and back again, and then you register her head slanting to the side along a crease of her brow, and that's where you realize she just asked you a question.

Blinking out of your stupor, you bow in apology, swallowing. "Please excuse me, ma'am, it's been a long day at work and I'm tired. Can you please repeat that?"

Her head straightens, and again she doesn't look the least bit bothered. "Is this [Name] [Last Name]'s residence?" She asks. She sounds so melodic...

"I am she," You reply with a nod. "Who are you?"

Her lips curve into a perfect smile. "My name is Makima, and I am with the Public Safety Devil Hunters. Do you have time to talk?"

Oh, shit! "Yes, of course. Please, come inside." You stand aside, and she does, taking off her shoes and stepping in. Closing the door behind her, you lead her further inside. "Please, sit down. I'm just in the process of making something to eat. Can I offer you any, or make you some coffee?" The general rules of hospitality are not lost on you, and she doesn't look at all put out or annoyed at your house not being clean. "I'm sorry, by the way, I wasn't expecting company."

"No, it's quite alright." She meets your eyes with that smile never fading. "A little disorganization never bothers me."

Relieved, you can't help but reflect her. "That's a relief. My job takes up a lot of my time."

She pouts in thought, tapping her index to her chin. "You're... one of the mechanics of Hishegawa, aren't you?"

You blink. "How did you know that?"

Not being able to help but chortle, she returns her expression to that smile. "Your work's popular among my group, you know. In fact, I've heard them ask for you specifically."

With your chest swelling with pride, your cheeks are dusted pink and the days exhaustion seems to fall right off your shoulders.

"I'm happy to hear that." You mean it. "I was starting to think that my work wasn't really that important."

"Well you certainly contribute a lot to the war, I should tell you." Makima takes a seat on the sofa, elegantly crossing her one leg. Everything she does seems so perfect... "But then there's your question. I've eaten, but if your coffee pot is going..."

You glance over at it. It's brewing. "Any cream or sugar?"

"No, just black is fine."

Now, something you didn't learn until your late father showed you, it is very safe to pull the pot out while the coffee's brewing. You just need to be mindful of putting it back in time lest it overflow. So you grab a sizable mug, fill it up, and bring it out, placing it in her awaiting hands.

"Thank you very much," She smiles, sipping it without even a wince. It is cold outside...

Sitting down nearby, you tilt your head. "Did you have business with me, Miss Makima?" you ask.

"Ah, yes, that." She sets the mug down and puts her hands in her lap, interlocking her fingers. "I hope you don't mind, but I did ask Hishegawa-san for your information." Ex-pardon me, what? "Nothing too invasive, however. Simply your resume and some background information - the sort of thing that pops up when you interview for something new." Oh. "From what I understand, you've been just about everywhere."

You sigh, head slumping a little. "I've had to learn and do so much training, only for it to go to waste when the devils would attack once more," You explain. "Hishegawa's is the longest job I've had, which might just be the universe giving me a break for once."

"What a shame." Her voice doesn't imply any sort of sarcasm or something like that... Rather, she's attentive, eyes not leaving you for even a moment. "And then you come home and even I can tell you're tired."

"Which proves I made a good choice, to be frank with you," You chuckle. "I'm not fit to fight devils, so I'm way better off just working with weaponry."

"On the contrary." Your brow arches as she scoots forward in her seat, uncrossing her legs. "The shifts are long and arduous, and you've adapted to them to where you can still function when you come home, correct?"

"Uh, yea." What is she getting at?

"And, you know how this sort of weaponry works to be able to clean it, right?"

"Mhm."

"So, say you do wind up being a combatant. You'd more specialize in long-ranged combat and artillery, which would be valuable even among those with contracts that can make up for what they're lacking." Her back straightens, and for a moment you're perfectly entranced. "And, the work we do is less arduous because we're not cleaning our weaponry all the time, and the paycheck, you could say, is an additional pace."

She looks right into your eyes, and for a moment there's a sensation like millions of tiny hands holding your head completely still.

"[Name]."

"Ah... Yes...?" Your voice grows faint, and she draws a bit closer.

"Join the Devil Hunters."

Your chest tightens, and for the briefest of moments almost imaginary, your very body stills. Something wraps around your heart, pulling it closer to her, almost, as though sensing your slow gravitation to her without even a physical beckon.

Is something wrong with me?

The room's gone completely silent. Even the TV, which is supposed to fill the void that pulls you into your own head, isn't making a peep. Right here, right now, it's just you, held in the allure of this strangely perfect, yet mysteriously ominous, woman. Her very presence is a spell, one even the most vigilant of ladies and gentlemen will find themselves enraptured in.

And for a moment, you wonder if she's even human.

"Your work will be much less tiring, and you'll surely be more satisfied in the day knowing that you'll have a job that won't be stolen from you by the war, and you'll have a bigger paycheck and more energy than you know what to do with. Surely, even, a boss that doesn't pick apart every little flaw is appealing on their own," She adds, voice a bit lower.

Oh... my... gosh...

She makes an almost satisfied hum, smiling, setting her empty mug of coffee aside, the sound pulling you from your stupor in enough time to register her scooping up your hand and placing a business card into it.

"Just think about it for a little bit, and in the meantime we'll be watching over you with great interest." She softly pats your shoulder, passing you by as though you're not making the most calmly disturbed expression a horror movie could never replicate. "And just let me know your answer using the number, or if you know someone that's interested in becoming one, give them a heads-up. But in the meantime..."

Just when she's at the door with her shoes on, she casts her head over her shoulder, her smile only growing.

"I look forward to hearing from you, Miss [Name]. Thank you very much for the coffee, it was delicious."

Your mouth opens and you reach for her, but by the time you've returned to your normal self she's gone.

Trembling, your eyes fall to the card in your one hand. It's a simple business card of the Public Safety Devil Hunters, with her picture on it as a face to refer to and a number, along with some other inquiries and the sort. It's perfectly legitimate, too, with an insignia of governmental approval.

The offer itself is appealing, but Makima's gaze... Refusal doesn't feel like an option, gently teased from your reach the moment she had met your eyes.

Will you abandon the course of your life for a new one, with more danger but possibly new doors of opportunity? A meaningful place to put your newfound knowledge, but a deep dive into the unknown?

You swallow.

Makima...

As though in a trance, you punch in the number as the water in the kitchen comes to a rolling boil.

[jackgoodfellow]

~ King of Winter and Toxic Positivity ~

I've made you all a "motivational" poster! 🥰🥰🥰

" Manifest your dream reality through sheer force of will! Anyone can do it! Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! Be a self-made king! Good things happen to good people! Get in that grindset! The only one standing in the way of your dreams is you! Anyone can do it! Nothing is impossible! Everything happens for a reason! Everything will be fine, so don't worry! You can do whatever you set your mind to! Never give up on anything! Every failure is just an opportunity in disguise! Have you tried yoga?? Have you tried supplements? Would you like to hear about an exciting new business opportunity? It's all part of God's plan! You just gotta stop fearing SUCCESS. Happiness is a choice! Delete negativity! Push every boundary! For winners, limits are merely suggestions! Lean in! Don't take no for an answer!! Anyone can do it!! "

[for those who deal with eyestrain, there's a plain-text version of the above pink and green paragraph of assorted toxic positivity slogans copied down at the bottom of the post.]

Anyway, it turns out the people who are willing to look you in the face and tell you that your oppressive burdens are in fact not that heavy at all... are people that either don't have that same burden, or people who are comfortable forcing someone else to carry it for them. - All while they proudly take the credit.

and also, he's HORRIBLE it's FANTASTIC I love him, 11/10, Evil Gay Bitch Gold Medalist, REALLY puts the MLM into mlm [the "Multi-Level-Marketing" into "man-loving-man"]

❄ ❄ ❄

More context and thoughts, if you're a media analysis nerd:

I am, however, obviously a media analysis JOCK 😅

So, the actual toxic positivity quote that I used in the image was inspired by the commentary made in these two episodes of the excellent anti-fatphobia (and therefore anti-capitalist) podcast "Maintenance Phase".

It's a two-parter on this one piece-of-shit white lady wellness influencer, and the hosts are funny and awesome and the entire catalogue of the podcast matters a lot.

[Sidenote: the episode "Is Being Fat Bad For You?" is VITAL shit. - My main takeaway has been that it's ALWAYS better to be fat than to be fatphobic. Every time.]

But the main point that is relevant here is the way this podcast helps peel back the ugly truth of a broader phenenomen:

In other words, it is notable that the kind of people who say things like "We all have the same 24 hours in a day!" are generally also people who already have the money to pay someone else to clean their house, thus literally giving them more free hours in a day, than say, the people they are paying (or underpaying) to give them that time.

And what stuck with me most from these two episodes is the absolute open disrespect that toxically positive privileged people often have for the very individuals they are relying on for all those extra hours they seem to find in a day.

Because the thing is, most of them absolutely buy their own bullshit. They HAVE to.

In order to justify the way of the world to themselves and ease their guilt over their role in it (while still maintaining all their power), they end up so good at lying to themselves that they see no irony in funding their personal business ventures with money from their wealthy parents and spouses... and then calling themselves "self-made."

Anyone can do it, after all! (There are simply certain things that are best left unsaid! Best not to be rude!) And any kind of shake to this worldview means they might just-- crumble to dust!!

And in my personal experience as a Poor Cripple [TM], those folks are champions at shaming the poor and disabled.

Folks like that might very well might very well force someone else to bear the crushing madness of their golden crown, so that they are free to build a beautiful kingdom of ice and agreeability!

They may see no issue, then, as they oh-so-benevolently relax on their throne, being waited upon and granting gifts to pretty strangers - all while pitying that nothing can be done for their poor disgusting maniac of a neighbor--except, of course, to punish them for the crimes they commit in their weak-willed madness~ 💚🩷

I. FUCKIN'. LOVE THIS SHIT, Y'ALL. GOOD WRITING. HELL YEAH.

[Not shown: the literal 6-page essay I wrote today while trying to explain FULLY and COMPLETELY why The Winter King episode matters so much to me. Turns out, in order to do that, I had to talk about the way casual ableism and classism can easily become extreme ableism and classism--and THAT got dark REAL FAST.

I didn't even finish writing it! I was headed to 8 pages at LEAST (and that's not even including talking about the wonderful artistic craftsmanship of the episode!!) when I realized that people might not reblog this as much if it included AN IN-DEPTH PERSONAL MANIFESTO ABOUT THE GRIM REALITIES OF CAPITALISM AND ABLEISM. So like... maybe that's a separate post lol]

Plain-text version of the colorful paragraph:

Manifest your dream reality through sheer force of will! Anyone can do it! Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! Be a self-made king! Good things happen to good people! Get in that grindset! The only one standing in the way of your dreams is you! Anyone can do it! Nothing is impossible! Everything happens for a reason! Everything will always be fine! You can do anything you set your mind to! Never give up on anything! Every failure is just an opportunity in disguise! Have you tried yoga? You just gotta stop fearing SUCCESS. Happiness is a choice! Delete negativity! Push every boundary! Limits are merely suggestions! Lean in! Don't take no for an answer!! Anyone can do it!!

[karimwillia]

👀 is it safe? I am clearing out the vault with a one shot enjoy all. It’s AU with some Black Panther references.

Warnings: General Fluff

“Ri why can’t I stay?” “Hey what did I tell you?” “It’s Demetria, I'm sorry.” “Thanks. You can’t stay tonight because I got things I have to do. Call me tomorrow.” “Ok bye. I won’t keep you.” Riri walks her 3rd random girl this month out of her dorm. Demetria Riri Williams the smartest and most “popular girl” on campus. She has been at this stuffy boarding school for a year now and she’s already technically a senior but she is going to stay the extra year for the fun of it. “Are you finally done making out with these randos?” Natalie says plainly. Nat is Riri’s roommate and she is always a good sport staying in the suite sitting room when Ri has company. Despite what people think Riri never has actual sex with these females she just makes out and they tend to get attached. An attached rich white girl is the best because they are generous.

“I’m done for a while, actually I don’t need anything else.” Laughing Nat hands Riri the bowl of popcorn as she sits on the couch to watch the forever reruns of Living Single.

“You are something else Riri Williams oops I mean Demetria. Lol. They can’t even call you by your nickname, you are something else.” “Woah woah don’t be that way Nat I am a nice person, I’m just a playa.” “Ooooh ok playa, have a question: do you ever feel bad? I mean you kinda hurt their feelings some of them at least.” “No no no I don’t feel bad because I am always clear with them that I don’t want a relationship also none of them are gay. At least that’s what they tell me. I am just for fun. Let them tell it.”

“Damn Ri that’s gotta suck No? I mean you are a dope chick none of them want to get to know you?” “I mean I’m ok with it for now it is what it is. It’s the reason why I don’t move past making out. I’m protecting me.” “I feel that friend and maybe you’re right. Just have fun relationships can wait.” Nat’s voice has an air of irony in it.

BuzzBuzz “Oh snap thats my school phone maybe one of my lab timers.” Riri is a brilliant inventor who has been inventing so much, Tony Stark himself took interest in her. She was sent to Forest Hill’s Academy boarding school to be a part of their top notch science education and to have open study time for her building. The school is kinda famous for it students have on and off days to do free study/independent work.

“Incorrect it’s the school email.” Nat keys in the school pass code to the phone. “You are being assigned an exchange student to host as an ambassador.” “What in the world!!! Nooo. I’m not even one of them.” “It says here you are being hand chosen to host this guest. Plus you never know it could be someone cool.” Riri takes the phone to read the details of the person who is coming to shadow her. “Nat get real it says she's from Wakanda you know that small farming country. Her name is Shuri Udaku. That does not sound like someone interesting at all!” Nat chuckles a bit and continues to watch the show. Once they had their fill of episodes the roommates turn in for the night.

Ri hops in the shower and heads to the dining hall for breakfast early the next morning. “Nat, do you think you can pose as me and get me out of this thing? I have an open lab today. I don't have time to be saddled with a village kid from some nation that didn’t exist 10 years ago.” “No Ri you are stuck they have your photo up as a part of the email.” “Damn! If it’s not one thing. I wonder what this is???” Nat and Riri come up on some long line in the caf that is not normal for this time of day. “I don’t know but something is not right.” Coming up on a table to the left of the line they see what the hold up is. A tall slender girl who has shaved sides and some nicely done braids doing something with a small machine has drawn a crowd. “What kind of phone is that?” Riri even gets pulled in by the wild design. It seems to be a phone with a full hologram projection that is not diminished by light with a no touch interface.

Nat shakes her head as they maneuver past them. Riri is not easily impressed but it is amusing to see Riri geek out. “Who is that and I just know she invented that tech.!?” Secondary to the phone Riri takes a good look at the girl and she be damned if the girl was not drop dead gorgeous to her. Flawless deep brown skin, a sculpted jaw, teeth perfectly white with a hint of gold. As she was staring the girl looked up and gave her a wink then looked back down shyly.

“Shuri this is amazing!” Nat hears one of the Hannah’s say walking past. “Bitch! That’s your exchange student.” The pair get out of ear shot unsure if Shuri heard or not. Just as Nat exclaims. “No fucking way you sure?” “Yep you just eye fucked your exchange student one of the Hannah’s said her name. Oooooh playa you are in trouble now.” “Shhhhh I did not eye fuck her…ok a little bit but look at her Nat and her tech is wild she had to have invented it she’s smart as hell.” Nat just laughs as they go get food and sit in the farthest corner of the caf they can.

At the table Nat is intently reading her ipad. “Did you read this profile like read it, read it?” “Naw why?” “Well you should have it says here that Shuri is the youngest heir to the Wakandan throne. This makes her the Princess of Wakanda. Ooooh snap and did know Wakanda is not what we think it is. According to this article ‘For years the world has known Wakanda to be a small farming African Nation. But in recent months it has been discovered that is not the case. In fact Wakanda is a very technologically advanced nation. The head of the research and development has been their super genius Princess Shuri Udaku. Shuri is now embarking on an educational tour to research and work with some of the most promising scientists around the world as a part of an outreach program being launched via the nation. First stop is Forest Hill’s Academy to work with Tony Stark mentee and child prodigy inventor Riri Williams.’ She came here for you!” Nat gave Ri a wink kind of squealing. “Shit. There is no way.” Riri take the table and gasps looking over the words Nat just read aloud.

“Mhm playa I think you have found your match.” “Hold up I mean just because she is utterly gorgeous and a super genius does not mean I’m not ME you know.” The confidence is a little weak at the moment but it’s true. She would have been at MIT almost done had she not wanted to have somewhat of a childhood. “That is correct. I mean you even made a prototype proton blaster at the age of 7 that was what prompted the Tony Stark to take interest in you.” A warm deeply accented voice with a small amount of base in it startled Riri during her rant.

When she looked up there she was Shuri standing inches away from her. “I’m glad I found you this is a huge cafeteria. I’m…” “Shuri, yes nice to meet you I’m Demetria which you already knew. I see you have done a little reading up on little ole me?” Something about Shuri was just so intriguing to Riri. Ri reaches to shake Shuri’s hand. But before she knew anything, Shuri take’s her hand first and kissed the back of it gently. “Yes I have actually but the articles didn’t say how beautiful you were.” Riri pauses hold up now did this Princess just make a pass at her?

“I can see you are doing the same research on me also so we are even.” Riri gains her composure fast. The charming Princess cannot have the upper hand “It's only fair to see who I am dealing with but I can agree the internet is not the most reliable for certain information.” Riri looks Shuri up and down with her best look.

Soon the feeling of eyes started to make Riri upset just a bit. Nat helped to ease a bit of the tension by offering Shuri a seat. “Shuri, come join us.” With a bright smile Shuri accepts with her eyes affixed on Riri. “Don’t mind if I do. It’s not everyday you meet such a brilliant mind at only 16.” Shuri’s voice floats in the air so smoothly. Ri tries to hold back blush as Shuri sits facing her and her roommate. “Shuri, this is Natalie Pride, my roommate here at FHA.” “Great to meet you Natalie.” From there Shuri only focuses on Riri.

A short while passes of a bit more pleasantries and some question answering. Poor Nat was the 3 and 4 wheel. “So since you know why I’m here, when are you going to show me to your work space? A work space tells the true you.” Clearing her throat Riri feels somewhat overwhelmed by the admiration and interest in her work by this world class scientist. Shuri explained a lot about Wakanda’s technology and how she has contributed to a lot of what is staple tech being used in the world. Riri cannot fathom this girl wanting to pick her brain.

“I will be happy to show you all of me but first let’s get you to your room. You’ll be my roommate.” Riri wanted for that to come out as suggestive as possible. The two girls have not only exchanged facts, figures and work but they have been FLIRTING. “Are you in Langer 1220?” “No the suite across the hall 1222. How is it that our exchange program places everyone in the room with their host?” “Now that’s a disappointment. It must be because my guards requested a single for me.” “Guards?” Riri scrunches her face up. “You see the very out of place bald women watching in the wings. I must have them with me at all times.” Riri nods, finally paying attention to the remainder of the room. Riri cannot believe that the last time she was focused on anything other than Shuri was being annoyed by the eyes. What is happening to her?

The crew gets up and walk the short distance to Langer and they separate from there. “See you in about 45 mins. “Count on it.” *winks* Once in the suite Nat gives Riri a face. “Girl what in the world was that!?!? She had you blushing.” “Ugh I know what in the world.” “I’ll give you a few points for the flirting but goodness y’all didn’t even care I was there. Not a fan.” “It’s her energy, it's almost like a pull, Nat. I got hyper focused. Sorry girl.” “Whatever, no you are not. You get like that when something has your true interest.” “You're right but she is just so different then anything or anyone I have been interested in.” Riri proceeds to get changed. She has to keep it spicy.

“How do I look??” Shuri asks Aneka about her outfit after changing for the 3rd time. “Yeka ukuxhalaba Shuri you look fine. I know you want the young girl's attention but I think you have it.” Tisssssssk Shuri kisses her teeth. “I am aware I may have had it talking about my work but honestly Aneka did you see her? She’s gorgeous that I didn’t bargain for.” “Well just make sure you hit your first goal of being here Princess. She is a great talent.” “Yes she is but something else about her is making me want more…you’ve got to hear her speak.” You know what come on before you drive me mad.” Aneka pushes Shuri out of the room.

Meeting up in the hallway just as Shuri is thrust out of the doorway. “Um wow you look very nice your highness.” Riri comments on the carefully chosen outfit. Shuri smirks in Aneka’s direction after the comment. They walk at a comfortable pace over to the student lab spaces. Riri reviews some campus landmarks on the way as Shuri will be at FHA for sometime.

“So tell me about yourself Demetria what made you so interested in science?” “Well my Pops was a mechanic in Chicago and he basically showed me everything about building from the age of 3 that’s when I built my first machine. It was a nite light that was solar powered. After he got killed I just kept on in his memory.” Riri never talks about her Dad but something about this girl just helps her open up. “What about you Ms. Supergenuisinventor” It was extra but it lightened the mood. “My brother T'Challa has always been my voice, when Baba didn’t want to let me continue my studies he stood up for me. I advanced past everything they threw at me so T’Challa would challenge me. He’s taught me everything I know. I’ll never admit it to him though.” “That’s sweet, must be nice to have him.”

Shuri and Riri talk for a while longer, comparing knowledge and just getting to know facts about each. Haha “So you mean tell me you have never done any of the normal dances and things in school?” “No Princess it’s not my thing I would rather build.” “That sounds like me but I never went to formal school so that makes sense for me not you. I know you have had people tearing down your door to court you.” “Naw here at this school is the most ‘popular’ I have been and even then I am the gay experiment for these white kids.“ “Gay experiment?” Shuri really didn’t understand the saying frowning up her face. She hears a bit of pain in Riri’s voice. “I am not sure how you all feel about same sex couples but here most people think being gay is wrong so they treat liking people as a game or phase.” “Wakanda is not like that. You can date whoever you choose. Then I take it you are not accepted by your family?” “My Mommy and my Sister love me regardless. I just never met a person who really wanted to get to know me. They all just wanted to know what it’s like to kiss a girl if you understand that.”

Ahh Shuri places a hand under Riri’s chin tipping her face up from looking down. “I’d like to get to know you more than just a kiss if that is ok?”

Was this actually happening to her? Demetria Riri Williams. Her mind was not used to this; she was a facts and figures girl, even with the experiments it was logic. Something was so real about Shuri’s words. This is just the first day, what could come of this? She was feeling this girl. Feeling her feeling her. Taking a deep breath Riri gets a boost of confidence. “Then how about a date? You and me, no one else.” “Only if you allow me to pay the way for us.”

Shuri’s month on campus felt like a week the two laughed, cried, shared ideas and knowledge. This bonding made their relationship so strong. It also made each girl a new person. Riri got softer and more open to people in some ways. Shuri became more serious; she learned so much about what was happening outside of Wakanda from Riri. The day she left Riri cried. She didn’t know why at the time but something inside Riri changed and made her not want to play anymore if the connection was not genuine she didn’t want it.

Skip 4 years

*knock* Ri honey you have to get up it’s graduation day!!!!! “Mmmm Hi Mommy. Thank you. I’m up now.” 20 year old Riri is graduating from MIT with highest honors and was on cloud 9 today. You would be too if you had an Executive Director of Robotics position at Stark Industries right out of college. Plus her family was by her side for this special day. The day was perfect on the outside but for some odd reason Riri felt like something was missing. “Sissy your MUA is here and your hair stylist.” Sharon Riri’s big sister came through the joined hotel room door to announce. “Yay thanks Sha let them in.” Sharon twists her face looking at her sister. “Ok but Ri you are to calm what is up?” “I’m fine I just am not fully awake is all.” Riri’s mood was mellow because something was off. She had not felt like this in a while. Something was missing from this day. Slowly she came to recognize what it was but how could she want this after all these years. “You are missing her today huh?” Sharon snapped Riri out of her thoughts. Sharon could read her sister's mind like a book when it came to certain things and she was right.

Why today of all days did she miss Shuri Udaku. After the month in high school Wakanda was still pretty closed off in those first few years so they lost touch. Riri kept tabs on Shuri best she could and she felt like the worst friend/person on Earth. Shuri had gone through it over the years. The Black Panther her Brother passed of an unknown illness that potentially could have been cured by Shuri. This came right after Wakanda was destabilized by a hostile takeover. That made her next in line after her Mother which has to be a lot of pressure. Riri wanted to be there for her so badly. Wakanda has now been combatting attacks on their outreach program outposts for their rare metal vibranium. Adding a strain to the countries alliances.

Riri has been glued to every CNN news clip or New York Times post about Wakanda since the day Shuri left. It made her feel closer to Shuri in a way. Knowing that Shuri had to take on these responsibilities without her Brother’s support caused Riri to be sick to her stomach most days.

“Sissy I don’t know ok I miss her everyday but something about today is so off it’s like my body needs her.” Sharon has heard this before right after Riri got home from school for break that year and she is the first one to break it to Ri that’s she is in Love with this girl. But she is super concerned because she has not seen her sister like this in a while. “Girl what can I tell Tony to get you in touch with her.” “Ok and say what yea Shuri this is Demetria from 4 years ago you know the fling you had and oh yea I’m in love with you I have an extra ticket to my graduation you wanna come?” “When you put it like that yea it sounds silly but Ri come on you said yourself Shuri never even kissed you because she wanted you to know how important you are to her. How can you say that was just a fling?” “We were 16 socially awkward teens I mean yea I was being a player back then but I’m sure in 4 years she does not even remember me.” “I think you are buggin baby sister you have no clue what she remembers.”Riri’s glam team arrives and she gets ready for her day as she continues to talk to her sister.

“Shuri, what brings you state side??” Shuri is standing at the window of the Stark center in Cambridge when Tony walks behind her. “Tony don’t play dumb you know why I’m here.” “Oooooh you are finally done with the cloak and daggers huh? Are you going to actually see her this time?” “Yes Stark I am actually going to see her. You know it’s been a difficult road to this and I thank you for making sure I knew where she was all these years.” “Kid I hear the way to talk about her to me you are in love how could I not help you? But I do want to know what made you stay away this long? You have been torturing yourself.” Shuri winces at the comment. Tony was right this past 4 years has been literal torture. After going home to Wakanda, Shuri wanted to stay in touch with Riri. She actually planned a second visit to the states, specifically Chicago during the holidays to surprise her. But Wakanda made precautions that even with the outreach programs they wanted to stay relatively closed off from the world and it was with good reason. So that caused the first rift. Then once T’Challa passed and so much chaos happened it took focus for Shuri but she always kept Riri on her radar of priority. With a look Shuri stated.

“Tony, she always told me how important school was to her and I didn’t want to interfere plus we were kids then we needed time to grow. Did you send the thing for me?” Shuri was masking well. She was nervous and excited for today. “500 red roses signed Umntwana. Yes and the diamond and vibranium pendant of her suits heart. Nice touch.” Tony remarks of the gifts Shuri wanted specially sent. Sighs “Thanks Stark I have loved her since 17 years old she deserves me to beg at this point.” “Shhhh Shuri she will be upset but just ease into it Umntwana Wam.” “Listen to your Mother.” Tony jokes, patting Shuri in the shoulder. While Queen Mother enters the room. “Goodbye Stark.” Shuri turns her attention to her Mother who is beaming at her from across the room. It was time.

*knocks* As Riri and her family gather the rest of their things to leave, a knock and voice comes booming into the room. “Delivery for one Demetria Roniece Williams.” Sharon leaves Riri to open the door. Ri was now dressed in her form fit white dress which hugged her curves in all the right places. This knock came as a surprise because who is sending her something? “I wonder what’s up. I have my gifts from Stark unless he is sending more.” Opening the door a slim man walks up and asks “Is this the suite of Miss Demetria Williams.” Sharon nods “Yes, come in.” Nodding his head the man moves to the side and one by one several delivery men bring roses by the dozen into Riri’s hotel room. Luckily she has in a presidential suite compliments of Tony or so she thought “Who are these from?” The number continues to grow to close to 500 before the man answers her. “It is Signed from Umntwana. Confused at first, a light went off in Riri’s head it could not be. Then the man claps and a young woman in a black dress brings a huge necklace box and unveils a gorgeous tennis chain with her IronHeart smybol on it clad in the clearest of diamonds. This is only one person’s doing and how did she find her? “Who in the world is Umntwana?!?” Sharon and Riri are now joined by her Mother in her suite while the chain is opened.

“That would be me.” And like a fever dream there she was, Shuri Udaku Princess of Wakanda at her door and the young lady hands her the necklace. “I hope I am not too late for your ceremony. I know I’m late for a lot of other things so I hope 500 flowers is enough to say sorry with.” Riri flew across the room tossing her arms around Shuri not even knowing if she was real. Shuri caught her with no hesitation and with ease she held her up in a tight embrace that felt like home. Ri and Shuri both could not speak, they had so much to say with no time to say it. “Shuri isimilo.” Shuri laughs as her Mother arrives with Okoye Aneka and Ayo her Dora Milaje for the day.

“Yes so so so sorry I am Shuri Daughter of Queen Ramonda Princess of Wakanda. The girls are now holding hands, fingers laced as if they needed to be attached, keeping the other from disappearing. “This is my Ahma Queen Mother Romanda Sovereign Ruler of Wakanda. Ahma, this is Demetria “Riri” Williams, the one I have not stopped speaking about in ages.” “She is a vision Shuri.” Riri feels her face being lifted to meet the gaze of Shuri’s Mother it was warm and loving as if she knew Riri already. Ri cleared her throat and smiled “Thank you so much, this is my family. Mother Ronnie and Sister Sharon Williams. You all this is Shuri. And her Mother.” Ronnie crosses the room to hug Shuri “Ooooooooh my god Baby she is beautiful. You know how to pick ‘em I see.”

“Oh my god what are you doing here???” Ri exclaims. “If I recall I made you a promise that I would be at your graduation and I could not let you down.” Riri beamed happily looking at Shuri as if she was not real. That was a promise made one night during that month as they were star gazing. “I am aware but a heads up would have been nice. I could have worn something cuter.” Riri pokes some fun as Shuri smiles. “You look plenty fine to me, your dress is amazing. But we cannot be late . I have made some time for us to talk more later, I assure you.” With a smile and wink Shuri ushers them out of the room to the front lobby. The girls hold hands the entire way.

They all file outside to make it on time to the ceremony and Riri finally felt what she was missing. Shuri already planned for a two car transport so there are extra Dora in front to greet them. Shuri and Riri both were admiring the other's features. They appreciated how the years have aged them. There is a silence that befalls the car which is tense but is broken up by tender and almost shy looks. “Will you allow me to take you to dinner tonight? I don’t know what you had planned for us to talk.” Riri asked while in Shuri embrace. Shuri smirks at how Riri has become more confident in social settings. “A dinner is better than my plan so yes as long as you allow me to pay.”

Shuri was so proud watching as Riri crossed the stage. The American Graduation custom was a beautiful one to her. Being called by your name being recognized for your mind's accomplishments felt so validating. “Demetria Roniece Williams highest honors” There it was her person’s name called and she clapped and cheered as loud as she could. Everyday for 4 years Shuri has missed everything about Riri from her smile to the way she wrinkles her nose to concentrate just everything about her. During that month the two fell for each other without the other's knowledge. Shuri may not have always been positive that Riri felt the same for her but she at least knew they were friends. It sickened her how life got in the way of them and became determined to reconnect. She also held me heavily influenced by her Mother to seek out what would make her happy.

Queen Romanda was tired of watching her child pine. She could tell this was something that weighed on Shuri. She would always mention this American Scientist named Riri. And she would hear so many stories of her daughter’s visit to this specific school where she learned so much from that same young scientist. The stories were the only thing that made her child smile after T’Challa passed. So it was no question Queen Romanda was adamant about Shuri reconnecting with this scientist of hers.

“Baby I am so so proud of you!!!” Riri’s Mother and the rest of the group that now included the Queen and Princess of Wakanda found Riri in the crowd and embraced her. Finally Riri felt complete and she was so so excited. Shuri was the missing piece but this dinner is long overdue to get the rest of their relationship ironed out.

After saying goodbye, Shuri takes Riri’s hand lacing their fingers walking to the car “My Mother was right Baby you are a vision. Like even more beautiful than I remember.” The term of endearment was like music to Ri’s ears. “Thank you so much Baby. Can I be honest with you?” “I would not want you to be anything but honest with me.” “I was physically in need of you today, it was so out of place. Then here you are. That sounds wild I know but it’s the best way I can describe it.” Now in the car Riri turns to face Shuri while she is being held by the royal. Shuri smiles small hearing the confession. She can read an unasked question in Riri’s eyes and something is telling her she will have to answer every questioning look. Holding Riri closer drawing small circles on her back the car rolls to its destination. “Well you felt that I have been planning this moment for months. Like a spider sense.” Shuri chuckled but it was true. Clenching her jaw, Riri wants to just flood Shuri with all the questions on her mind but she decides to play it cool. Everything will come out in due time. “Months huh? Maybe I did sense you then. How did you know where I was?” “Your Mentor is a good friend.”

“So Tony told you where I was?” “Yes I had him fill me in on you yearly for three years now. After we lost touch I missed you like crazy even in the middle of the chaos around me. Tony was my last real resort other than sending spies to find you. I would have done it even with all the changes we have made to our laws about international relations in Wakanda. The council would have had my head had I done that though. You know I am still seen as a child to them.” Laughing, Riri dropped her gaze making Shuri’s lips her main focus. Things are falling into place. “What is funny?” “ I am just laughing that I never asked Tony for the same. I just glued myself to the news for any and all updates on Wakanda.” Pulling up to the restaurant the two get out and Shuri takes the lead entering Nobu where the pair was sat in a private booth in the back.

“So you kept your tabs on me too? Huh?” “Yes but not as effectively I suppose. I just missed you also like A LOT. And after seeing all that has gone on with your family and your country I just have been worried about you. Which by the way, how are you? And don’t be tough.” The playful banter gave way to a serious tone straight away. “Most days I am sad and angry but I have some things that motivate me to keep going. Number one I was able to successfully synthesize more heart shaped herb so the mantle of Panther is restored. Number two Prince T'Challa, my nephew is 3 and thriving. Number 3 You seeing how much you have accomplished and the thought of seeing you again even if you hated me.” Shuri kisses Riri’s hand and looks at her as she scrunches her face. “Shuri Baby I could never hate you. I understand that circumstances kept us apart. I cried for a week when you left. I just always wanted you also.” “So you never got mad at me or questioned anything?” “Maybe for a short time to keep myself from hurting so bad. But I mostly just wanted to do the corny teenagers in love stuff. I would dream of it and other things.” Shuri lets out a low and seductive laugh. “Don’t laugh and especially like that please.” Riri's eyes are lower now “I’m sorry I am just amused at how in tune we still are. I dreamed a lot also.” The chatter goes on and on past dinner and back to Shuri’s hotel room. Riri’s was connected to her Mother’s. The way she is feeling tonight it would not be appropriate to go to her room.

“So what happened to you and Nat?” “We are still cool but she is in LA so I don’t see her much.” Riri is staring at Shuri tracing every feature of her face with her eyes. The two women have been almost in each other's skin all night. Something about Shuri’s body was different Riri was running a finger on her chest and just blurted.“You are the new Black Panther aren’t you!” Shuri’s eyes got big. “Yes how did you figure that out.” “The hug you caught me as if I was nothing in weight and held me with no strain then just your body is different it’s muscular in the best way.” Shuri smirks. “So I must be the Panther because I’m muscular, maybe I just work out?” “No you are still a nerd, nerds are not strong like that. And they don’t work out.” Smiling Shuri gets closer to Riri. “Your observation skills are impeccable, IronHeart. But please keep it to yourself.” It was Riri’s turn to be surprised. “What did you call me?” “IronHeart I like the name. I’m glad you took my advice on the symbol.” Sighs “you that? I had to carry you with me somehow.”

The pair fall silent for a moment. “After I left, have you dated anyone?” “No…my standards became a little too high one day. Shuri why is it that you have not kissed me yet you keep looking at my lips.” “I have always just respected what you first said to me.” “What are you talking about?” Cupping her face, Shuri runs her thumb on Ri’s cheek. “You are more than just an experiment to me. So I always controlled myself and waited on you.” As the last word came out Riri attached her lips to Shuri’s.

The kiss starts slow and sweet, testing the limits of what is welcomed. But it was passionate. Shuri pulls Riri to straddle her on the couch as she runs her hands up Ri’s spine. Pulling her hair, Ri's head falls back exposing her neck for bites that Shuri gladly places along her pulse. Ri cannot control her moans while her body heats up. Feeling the most submissive she has ever felt, Riri didn’t expect this from Shuri to some degree. She’s not sure what she thought but the 17 year old Shuri she met was not this dominant.

Pushing back to look in each other's eyes lust and passion are reflected in each other. Shuri is in full control as she rips at Ri’s dress so she can lick her exposed breasts, sucking the right nipple into her mouth. Growling low Riri runs her fingers into Shuri’s hair which is curly on top now. Hissing Ri grinds her hips down into Shuri’s below her. Kissing back up her neck, Shuri gruffly speaks into Riri’s ear. “Tell me what you want.” “You inside please.” Swiftly Shuri moves them to bed and drops Ri down with some force. She moves to pull off her shirt but she guides Riri’s hands to help. She was going to please her tonight for all the lost time. Shuri leans in and kisses Riri with one hand around her neck with just a loose firm grip and she runs her free hand between them over her clit over her underwear. “You’re not quite ready.” “Yes I am please.” Shuri starts to leave marks on Ri’s skin with small bites and her hands move Riri to lay back. Once she is laid in the right position Shuri rips off Ri’s underwear, circles her clit as she kisses her deeply and slides two fingers into her at a steady pace. Ri breaks the kiss “ahh fuck” Shuri loves the look on her face so she focuses on Riri’s face picking up the pace. “You were ready.” Kissing along her jaw “Yes just for you.” “Just for me?” “Yes!” Shuri’s fingers are moving faster now and they reach Riri’s spot on one of the strokes that makes her moan louder. “Ahhh! Shuri!”

Hearing her name drove her crazy. “You gone cum for me? I need you to cum for me.” Riri’s voice gets caught and all that comes out is moans and a scream as she is pushed over the edge. “Shuri!” she makes out as the Princess continues to please her down from her climax. Catching her breath “Baby what did I do to deserve this?” “It’s your day and it’s more when you can take it.” Shuri kisses Ri’s temple and then pulls her fingers to suck them clean before kissing Ri again, slipping her tongue along the inside of the smaller woman's cheeks. After a few more rounds the women laid together falling into a peaceful slumber.

“Princess your Dora are at the door.” Griot Shuri’s AI chimed from her Kimoyo Beads on the bedside table. “Tell them to wait Griot.” “At once Princess. “Mmmm Good Morning Baby Girl” Shuri says in Riri’s ear rubbing small circles on her back. “Mmmm Morning Baby.” Riri keeps her eyes closed lying on Shuri’s chest not wanting to move. “Baby why are your Dora at the door?” “They have to check on me for the morning.” “Then you probably need to go see them then huh?” Rolling to her side relieves Shuri of her body weight which is instantly missed. Making her way to the front room Shuri closes the doors to the bedroom to give her girlfriend privacy. Are they girlfriends now? That will have to be talked about.

Tisssk “Ahh so the scientist is here.” Aneka Ayo and Okoye laugh to themselves. “Just know she can only have a title once married.” The Dora poke fun at the princess just a little while more before doing their status report. “The Queen Mother is to return home today we just need to know of your intent Princess.” “I am to stay sometime longer.” “Then you will have Aneka and one other Dora with you moving forward.” “Thank you General.” Tapping her spear, the Dora exit the suite. Alone in thought the Princess orders room service she orders pancakes, fresh fruit, coffee, juice and a few more random food items for a breakfast in bed. Things with this reunion has been going so well next step see if they are actually girlfriends this time. Something about a label makes the Princess feel secure. Opening the doors Riri emerges from the bedroom having showered. She wraps her arms around Shuri from behind “So how long is sometime?” “Forever if I could. Just to be with you.” Riri decides to look at Shuri’s face. “Do you promise?” Shuri holds her gaze and knows exactly what she is asking. But Riri still beats her to it. “Promise to be with me forever?” “Yes why?” “Because I’m done being this play girl who never dates. Baby I just want you.” The women laugh at the joke and enjoy their breakfast.

Two years later Shuri steps into being Queen full time once her Mother relinquishes the throne to her. She also serves as Black Panther protecting and serving on an international stage. Riri moved to Wakanda full time 6 months ago working remote for Stark Enterprises fulfilling the Co-CEO role. As IronHeart she has stopped a few crime syndicates and her help has aided a great deal in several major cities in the US. The pair have celebrated Shuri’s coronation, gone to international gala’s to honor both of them, holidays, birthdays and two anniversaries. But today felt so odd to Riri she knows what Shuri said today was but has never heard of this tradition ever. “Baby please explain to me what today is again?” “A Umdaniso wothando, it’s like a social gathering. Normally it’s formal and is done whenever someone sees fit to throw one.” “Mmmhm and you just saw fit to throw one huh?” “Well it has been a while since we had time together with all of our family and friends so yes.”

Little did Riri actually know this would be her proposal. Shuri knows her girlfriend and she likes to love OUTLOUD. Any accolade, acceptance speech or public speaking event Riri never fails to mention Shuri and the relationship they share. So Shuri made something up to throw this party tonight to ask Riri to be her wife. Shuri has taken care of everything, from flying Riri’s family and friends out to Wakanda, having her a dress designed and tailored, Shuri even has a matching outfit that Riri has consulted on. They will have a grand photo shoot with just them, a dinner and dance.

They are separated now as Riri is being glammed up by a full hair makeup and nail team who will get her dressed. “Baby, when are you getting here to get ready?” “I’ll be there soon my Love. I have to pick out some items at the shops for Prince T’Challa.” Just then Griot announces visitors right on schedule. “Griot identify.” “Your Mother and Sister have arrived. They are here to join you for the evening.” Riri can’t believe her ears. “Baby what did you do! Let them in Griot.” Riri’s sister Sharon rushes in to hug her. “Surprise my Love you were missing them so I ensured they came for the evening.” Riri starts to tear up. It has been close to a year since she’s seen her Mom in person. “Baby thank you hurry home please. I miss you too.” “I will make it there soon.”

“This is going to be one special evening Shuri.” Nakia’s voice chimes in as they drive the royal ground transport to the jeweler. “I want it to be Nakia. The time is just right. We are both thriving and she is at home here in Wakanda. There will be no more waiting.” “Time does not wait for anyone so I agree do everything your heart desires when the time feels right.” “Incoming call from Queen Mother.” “Griot answer. Mother!” “Shuri let me see the ring?” “We took a small detour for Prince T’Challa, I will be at the jeweler soon. This is a glorious day my child I am proud of the work you have put in.” “Mother thank you I was just telling Nakia I cannot have another moment in life without her.” “Well today’s display will convey that very thing. I have seen you find love next more grandchildren.” The Queen smiles to herself poking some fun at her daughter. “We plan on a beautiful little girl Mother. We would name her Romani.” Shaking her head, the Queen Mother never expected Shuri’s answer. “Now that is a first I have even heard you speak of such things. Riri is good for you.” “The best Mother. I will speak with you once I return to the palace.”

Shuri and Nakia returned to the palace with the Riri’s heart shaped platinum and vibranium set 20k diamond engagement ring. Everything was now in order. Shuri rushed to be by her soon to be finance’s side. “There you are Baby. Riri leans to kiss Shuri just before the last touches of her makeup is done. “I knew you wanted to see me, my Love so I came here as soon as I was back. Hi Mom! Sha!” Shuri greets Ronnie and Sharon who are looking at the pair with huge smiles. “Hey sister you know she was whining huh?” Laughing “She just missed me. I was away for a week before this so I understand. I missed her too. But yes I knew she was whining.” “So you are going to talk about me like I am not here?” “Basically.” “Shuri Baby this is going to be so fun tonight I have never had to be this glammed up for a party before.” Ronnie chimes in to try and keep Riri off the tail of the true intent of the party.

Shuri looks over at Ronnie and with a wink. “Mom, enjoy it, please all the fun is on me tonight.” The women all chatter as Shuri gets her nails and make up done and her hair freshly cut. “Shuri honey you are so beautiful.” “Thank you Mom.” Ronnie and Shuri exchange a moment as Riri looks on while her dress is being put on her. “Ri I know I ask all the time but do they have her in male?” Sharon is talking to her sister now “Mommy never liked any of my boyfriends.” “Sha you are a trip, and there is one like her but he is married with a kid. Sorry to burst ya bubble.” “Oh that is rude.”

Once everyone was fully dressed Shuri and Riri were left alone for some time. “Baby will you accompany me somewhere?” Shuri’s voice was calm and sultry. “Of course I will go wherever you lead.” As the pair descend the stairs Shuri Riri’s leads to the courtyard doors. The hallway is decorated with thousands of deep red roses leading outside. Silently Riri follows as her her heart is racing, realizing her suspicions of today may be correct. Something more than a party is happening today she always has a sense for these things. The doors to the courtyard open and their families are gathered at the end of the walk way. Riri’s favorite love song is being played by string quartet. The couple walk to the end of the walk way and Shuri faces Riri holding both hands in hers. “Amazwi am othando awakwazi ukuchaza indlela endiziva ngayo.”

Shuri starts her speech in her native tongue because of nerves. “But I will try. You have been the light of my life since I was 17 years old. Your talent and intelligence inspire me. Your drive and passion motivate me. Your empathy and care nurture me. Your Love is what sustains me.” Riri gets overwhelmed by the words coming from her girlfriend's mouth and she begins to cry. “Shuri.” “Shh, let me finish please. I promise to love you with all of me to be your protector, your partner, your kindred spirit and please you for the remainder of my days. You are my air.” “Will you be my wife?” Shuri had to breathe after the last utterance because she couldn't hold her tears.

For a moment Riri was in shock but she soon just screamed. “YES Shuri, I will marry you 1000 times over.” Shuri takes the ring from its box that she is holding while on one knee and slides it on her beautiful fiancé’s left ring finger. All of their loved ones let out cries and screams of congratulations.

Riri smiles as she grabs Shuri’s face in both hands to kiss her sweetly she could not believe it the love of her life is going to be her wife. They get married the next year having the traditional wedding week in Wakanda and a modern American ceremony in Chicago. With Wakandan technology Riri is able to get pregnant just 10 months after tying the knot. They let science do its thing for some of it and it so happened to be a baby girl! She is a mix of both their DNA.

Princess Romani Daughter of Queen Shuri was born in the prong of Shuri’s 6th year as ruler. Her birth brought so much joy to the nation. Shuri insisted that Riri take a noble title. So she is Queen Demetria, Mother of Princess Romani of Wakanda. It drives Riri crazy being addressed as Queen. She was more than content with being a wife and Mother but otherwise life was perfect in every way.

@mal-urameshi @somethingcleaverandwhitty @pantherheart @shuriris-stuff @neptoons1998

[heyclickadee]

Thoughts on “Faster”

1. THAT’S MY BOY!! THAT’S MY BOY!! MY BEAUTIFUL NERDY BOY!!! 2. I love that Echo and Hunter were out delivering space door dash. I joked about that with my sister once; I didn’t think it would actually be canon. 

3. Even though I missed seeing Hunter and Echo (and Crosshair), I don’t think this episode would have worked with them in it. I’m not sure Hunter would have agreed to going with Cid in the first place, and even if he had, there’s no way he would have let Tech on that race track. They would absolutely shut down the shenanigans. I’d pay cash money to see his face when they all get back. 

4. I know a lot of people are calling this one filler, and while I don’t agree seeing as how there was plot development or at least set up for plot development as well as some lovely character development for Tech, I’m glad this one was a bit more lighthearted than the first three. You can only delve so far into the angst before the audience becomes numb to it. You need to let them (and the characters) breathe a little before going any farther with it. I’m genuinely glad they just got to have a good (albeit dangerous) time. 

5. Tech, seeing riot racing for the first time: It would appear that anything goes out there.

Tech internally: If I do not get out on that track within one standard hour I will perish.  6. I LOVE how, in contrast to the first season, which highlighted the batch as a team and what their roles on the team were, this season is focusing more on the batch as individuals. It’s less about what the team will do and more about what each member of the team might want. For Tech, that seems to mean opening his eyes to the possibility of life outside of war and combat, not just for himself but to the idea that there’s so much of the galaxy that existed before and outside of the war that he’s never thought about, as well as presenting him with the idea that he’s good for something besides fighting. And given the conflict between Hunter and Echo (who ultimately want the same thing but are looking to get there in different ways), I’d say that’s going to be really important later on down the line. 

7. Along those same lines, I’m adoring the throughline between Crosshair’s desperation to stay relevant using the only skills he thinks he has, Echo’s determination to fight back using the only skillset (being a soldier) he thinks he has, and Tech’s frustration with Cid wasting their skills on things like space door dash. They were designed to do one specific thing, and the republic they were designed to do it for no longer exists. They’re all floundering and struggling to find their own sense of purpose, the same way Hunter seemed to find his back in season one. 

8. TAY-0 was. Oh boy. 

9. Obnoxious. Eminently punchable. The irony of casting Sonic the Hedgehog as the blue racing robot was not lost on me, but besides the “Gotta go fast,” aspect of that, casting Ben Schwartz as an egotistical, aggressively dramatic theater kid always works. He always plays that part well. 

10. You could feel Tech was exactly 0.35 seconds from punching TAY-0 in his stupid metal face from pretty much the moment they met. That deadpan glare when TAY-0 told Tech to stop fixing him the wrong way? I felt that in my bones. The way Tech sighed and shook his head when TAY-0 said that Tech didn’t have strategy or skill? Dude was pissed and it’s almost like he’s had to mask his whole life. The, “Don’t try me right now, I’m done and I’m doing what I want,” look when Tech said he was going to be the one to race? Yes. Good. 

11. The way that Tech clearly didn’t know how to respond to the crowd chanting his name because he’s not used to that kind of recognition, so he gave that little awkward half salute is going to live rent free in my head for a while. As is the fact that Tech did listen to everyone giving him advice but ultimately trusted his own judgement. 

12. “Tech, you have to be in front to win!” “I know what I’m doing. It’s called strategy.” “No, it’s called losing!” I’m dying. I’m literally dead. 

13. So...Tech doesn’t trust Cid. Which, he shouldn’t, of course. Besides Millegi’s warning at the end, the way Cid was acting all the way through this episode makes me think she’s definitely got something shady in store for the boys. And the thing is, I don’t think it’s something she’s planning on doing--I think it’s something she’s already done. I suspect she actually sold them out to some extent way back, maybe back in season one, in a way that’s going to get them in big trouble this season, and that she’s maybe starting to regret it because a part of her actually likes them. 

14. Wrecker and Omega playing chess at the beginning of the episode! Omega putting things on the line to help Cid! Wrecker and Omega being so happy when Tech won! Tech with his hand on Omega’s shoulder and Wrecker doing that affectionate shoulder punch! I love them!

15. The poor guy who got shot at during the race at the beginning of the episode. I know this was a much lighter episode than the last few, but dang. That’s...kinda dark. 

16. I cracked up when the announcer lampshaded how odd clone names are in-universe, especially when they don’t have the “they’re a clone” context. 

[plantsarepeopletoo]

Only Friends Music EP 8 part 2/2

Part one covers most of first half of Ep8, or you can find other episodes on my pinned comment.

[2/2] continued

Song: Lost In a Dream by Wellmess Scene: Atom approaches Boston at the bar Type: Vocal

Lyrics in the show:

Suddenly you ran from me Nothing will ever be what it used to be Suddenly you hide from me I found myself lost in a dream And I called you lover Now you call me friend

Lyrics continue:

You ran away Slip away Our love is fading day by day And on the days Always stay Somewhere deep down within me And I, I still call you lover And you don't, you don't call me friend, oh Wait 'til I'm free And I'll show you me Wait 'til I'm free And I will show you, I will show you me I will show you me, just call me lover again, Just call me lover again

Last time this was played was when Sand was walking out of the bar with Amp, the girl he was going to go home with before Ray interrupted. Then, it seemed to be a prophecy of Ray and Sand’s problems and loop. They fight, make up, are ‘friends’, are lovers, fight, make up. And all the time opening up slowly to each other.

Here, at the beginning of the scene, Boston is looking at a picture of Nick. Boston pushed Nick away, is angry, but still seems to miss him. He’s “lost in a dream”, as Atom comes up to him at the bar. They sit and drink, talking about Atom’s girlfriend. He says his girlfriend is jealous, tagging along to the bar to keep an eye on him. And Boston agrees, “A relationship that lacks trust and freedom is a dead end.” Boston’s upset over Nick still, even if he misses him.

An interesting lyric is:

I will show you me, Just call me lover again

It stays in line with the themes of honesty and sincerity that run through the show. Another song would be (Stay) True, from ep 3, when Ray and Sand are making out in the car after the pool party.

No matter who or when or what will others say Just find your way And try to stay True

If nothing else, be true to yourself.

Song: Goodbye Denver by Eric Feinber Scene: Flashback with Top and Mew at the bookstore Type: Vocal

It’s a nostalgic song, slow, with acoustic guitar, and plays as Mew thinks about being with Top in the bookstore. When Mew is interrupted by Ray, he might be realize he isn’t quite over Top. In his cooling anger, he remembers good times with Top, and thinks he needs to say goodbye, what he's been doing isn't enough to get over Top.

After the flashback, the music dies out, and in the quiet, the conversation between Ray and Mew could be a parallel to their relationship. There is no background music, until Mew seems to shake himself out of thoughts of the past, bringing up

R: “Have you found the book your looking for?” - Have you found what you are looking for? (healing? serenity? a way of getting over Top?)

M: “Not yet, but I’ll keep looking. If you're bored, you can wait in the café” - If you are bored with me, you can go somewhere else and wait.

R: “I’m not bored. Take your time, Don’t worry about me.”

M: “But I’m bored.”

R: “Of me?”

M: “No, of myself”

Song: Suddenly Deeply Interested by Blue Topaz Scene: Ray and Mew talking in the bookstore Type: Vocal

Only the bassline starts after Mew turns to face Ray, “I think I’m too plain somehow”, and continues under Mew asking Ray for a party. Mew might be frustrated with how he was reminiscing about Top, and not actually having that connection with Ray. The interest that the song’s name refers to might be Mew’s interest in trying to get over Top, interest in trying Ray’s specialty: Partying. It could also be irony, they are both using the other to get what they think they want, like in the song from the very start of the episode, Brings back the Feeling by Daniel Gunnarsson, they’re searching for that interest that they think they should have with each other. They have to figure out how to get all the pieces to fall into place.

Song: I Don't Give a Damn (feat. Kitty Lingmerth) by Vivera Scene: Invitations go out for the party and at the party Type: Vocal

Lyrics in the show:

I don’t mind their snake eyes Following my every move I don’t care what they think of me But it’s plain to see, yeah

I don’t care what they say Games they play That don’t bother me

Their shitty plans Won’t stain my hands I’ve got a fist with a finger And a pocket full of sand And I don’t really give a And I don’t really give a

Lyrics continue not in the show:

Hmm, they try to be bad To the bone Acting so oldschool bulletproof Coming on so hard and all But push a cornerstone And the house will fall, hey

They try to make me Smile and agree Try to bust and break And fry me

Their shitty plans Won’t stain my hands I’ve got a fist with a finger And a pocket full of sand And I don’t really give a I don’t really give a

I don’t really give a damn Damn, damn Got my pocket full of sand Sand, sand I don’t really give a damn Damn, damn You can read it in my hand

The handclaps in the song start as Mew begins to plan the Halloween party at the bookstore with Ray. Drums start as the invitations are sent out, then lyrics start at the party scene.

I don’t care what they say Games they play That don’t bother me

Their shitty plans Won’t stain my hands I’ve got a fist with a finger And a pocket full of sand

After the song Goodbye Denver, where he catches himself thinking of Top fondly, this song seems to be Mew aggressively trying to numb himself. Mew is deciding not to care by any means possible, people, partying, drinking, Ray, drugs, he’ll try them all if it means not feeling anything. He’s angry because he is hurt and so trying to numb the pain.

Song: The Kill by Particle House Scene: Mew does coke with Ray Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

Something's wrong But you're moving on To the danger zone Golden smiles And flickering lights It's all chemical And you can't get out For the rest of your life You'll be stuck inside these walls Apologize And get on with the lies You have done it all before And you leave again Disappear into the night Getting closer And they crawl into your sight And they say The kill is never wrong The kill will make you strong

Lyrics continue, not in show:

Dark red clouds Cover the sky Keep your head down low (keep it low) Turn around And walk to the sound On the radio I keep getting high, too high The words you said and all the love we shared (ooh) I keep getting stronger, to make Everything pass when you're not there (you're not there) (Will you let me say your prayer?) And you leave again (again) Disappear into the night (tonight) Getting closer And they crawl into your sight And they say (Yeah they say) The kill is never wrong The kill will make you strong (oh make ya strong)

Song starts as Mew does coke. Ray thanks Mew for giving him a chance, and Mew says Ray is the one he should love.

Golden smiles And flickering lights It's all chemical

Ray asks if Mew feels anything, and Mew says no, which could be a commentary on their relationship. Mew “should” feel love for Ray, he “should” be feeling the effects of coke. Even if the colors and lights seem brighter, his feelings lighter, it’d be artificial, chemical. And Mew doesn’t feel love for Ray like that, so he suggests going downstairs instead of kissing Ray.

Song: Lbd by Filthy The Kid Scene: Ray and Mew rejoin the party, meet Top Type: Vocal, Playful

LBD is a party song, upbeat and fun. Starts as Ray and Mew go downstairs and continues through to the preview of part 3. It quiets as Mew asks Top “What the hell are you doing here?” and the chant “Party! Party!” starts when Top takes Mew’s hand, “What are you doing this for?” The song, the party, the drugs, cigarettes, the costumes, and kissing Ray are all not Mew. He didn’t plan the party with his friends, the last 2 of the 3 songs are aggressive, trying drugs, kissing Ray all are very outside Mew’s ‘normal’. Then add the fact that everyone is dressed up in costumes, pretending to be things they are not, adds another layer, visually.

[3/4]

Song: Got Me Trippin by Secret City  Scene: Nick and Sand talking about Boston Type: Playful

The song starts as Nick and Sand talk about Boston, "What you're doing is like moving on in a circle." Nick's hung up on Boston, just wants to see him. “Got me trippin” plays as Nick sees Boston, it mostly goes on without much change, except for a horn that plays as Boston looks past Nick. It slowly fades out as Boston makes it clear he is not interested and stops when he says, “and why are you telling me?” 

Song: Twisted metal by John Bjork Scene: Boston and Nick talk at the party Type: Vocal

This song played earlier when Top saw Mew smoking. Boston’s indifference hurts like a knife twisting. Gone is Nick’s confidence, unable to answer Boston’s question. “What can I do to earn your forgiveness?” Boston tells Nick that he needs to leave him alone, confronting Nick with what he did wrong. Nick retorts that Boston also did wrong, again, but Boston doesn’t hear it, he’s too hurt. 

Song: I'm Indestructible by OTE 

Scene: Sand almost kisses Freddie Mercury

Type: Vocal

Starts with Sand and Freddie Mercury Guy talking about Freddie Mercury, and being bi. Lyrics are very simple

Leading me higher Leading me higher I was found here You'll come around here I was found here You'll come around here I was found here You'll come around here Oh, can’t you see now It’s not for me now I was found here You'll come around here I was found here You'll come around here Leading me higher Leading me higher Leading me higher Leading me higher

Ray finds Sand. It's an angry song, and Sand isn't happy to be found by Ray. Especially since he had mentioned earlier to Nick that they were both supposed to be moving on. The song continues while Ray sits with them, and aggressively kisses Sand. It stops as Sand pushes Ray away from him.

Songs: Quell Fear and Down the Spiral by Jon Bjork  Scene: Sand pushes Ray Type: Vocal

I wanted to talk about both of these songs, Quell Fear is the bass and piano music that plays behind Ray and Sand fighting. The piano starts when Ray says "Stop fooling yourself Sand. You like me." Ray tries to quell his fear of losing Sand in the worst way possible. He's assertive, jealous, and says what he shouldn't while high. Which leads to Sand pushing Ray away, physically and with his words, "I will not be your second option."

Down the Spiral starts as Sand walks away after pushing Ray down. Mew kissed Ray in front of Top then left him, and now Sand has lost his patience and left him. Next time we see Ray is passed out on the couch, apparently after doing more drugs by himself.

Song: The Sound of Peace by Eric Feinberg  Scene: Top sits by a drunk mew on the floor Type: Vocal: 

The first time this played was in episode 2, after Ray told Sand about his mother’s death, and Sand tried to cheer him up. The second time was when Mew kissed Top on the cheek, right before Top goes to see Boston in episode 3. Here, it starts as Top sits by a drunk and high Mew. Mew isn’t combative anymore, just sad, “Why do you have to be an asshole, Top”. Earlier there was a song called “Is this Serenity?” when Top talked to Mew in the bathroom, asking if this is what he wanted. Here it’s almost an answer, that no, what Mew wants is Top to be who he thought Top was. 

[4/4]

Song: ฤดูกาล 25 Hours Scene: Top takes care of Mew Type: Vocal

Lyrics, translated by the show:

The season is about to change The storm will soon be over But it’s not just the wind that will disappear It takes you with it, far away from here What I am doing after this Is resist that strong wind No matter how much pain I must take in I’ll wait until you’re back by my side You keep my dreams so much alive I insist on waiting I will be here loving To keep us together, I’ll do anything I hope everything goes back to its old way When we meet again one day The world whirls and things between us end Days pass, but the world will whirl back again What I am doing after this Is wait right here Live all alone And never change my mind I’ll wait until you’re back by my side You keep my dreams so much alive I insist on waiting I will be here loving To keep us together, I’ll do anything

Starts as Top leans over Mew in bed, and starts to take care of him. Top will wait, hoping for Mew’s anger to blow over like a storm. In the next episode he starts to show up more, inserting himself into Mew’s life. Mew is quietly angry about it, but not as combative as he was this episode. His self destructiveness may have given Top hope, since Mew is obviously not happy with the new lifestyle or Ray, and seems to be partially self destructing to get back at Top.

We see shots of Ray passed out on a couch, Cheum and April sitting on the couch, Sand comforting Nick on their way out, and Boston leaving the house. They all want things to go back to how it was, hoping that their personal storms will pass one day. 

--

I did cut some songs at the end of ep8, but the main one was Season, ฤดูกาล. If you did like Glitch Hopper, the techno song at the end of ep8, check out

But that's it for ep8! Thank you for reading, and thank you @rocketturtle4 for editing. And @shouldiusemyname for being patient with me.

Here's the master list if you'd like to read other episodes

Here's a link to EP8 part 1

[liber-what-ia]

So this post was supposed to be a reblog of another post I saw, but tumblr shut down while I was replying and I can't seem to find it again. It was about how Din's interactions with other characters make evident how devoid of chemistry the ones with Bo-Katan are. Feel free to point me at the post if you saw it, and I will reblog it since I 100% agree with them. EDIT finally found it, it was @turkwriter who wrote it, you can find the reblog earlier on my blog.

Anyway, here's my addition (spoilers for S3 ahead).

I don't know if the writers will go down the Din/Bo route (it seems so surreal, even for SW and even for this season) but it's clear how limiting Din's interaction with other characters was a deliberate choice to put Bo-Katan on a pedestal.

What follows doesn't solely concern Din/Bo. I have this odd feeling, that Favroni/the screenwriters took a trip into the fandom space and tried to implement fan tropes and wishes in the show (without even distinguishing between actual, serious wishes, and inside jokes carried out by memes).

Like, did you notice how Din and Bo go on a first-name basis as soon as the second episode? Bo-Katan even gets to be called by nickname (Bo). We all know how names are relevant to the fans and I think all of you are familiar with the trope of being called by name as an act of intimacy, especially for someone (Din) who doesn't share it easily.

Then there's the sheer amount of times Din has to be saved by Bo-Katan. I.e. "Damsel in distress" applied to a very competent character who is also jokingly labeled as a himbo, and his himbo side this season went through the roof for no apparent reason. He forgot about at least half of his fighting equipment, for istance.

Also, all the physical contact Bo and Din have. Not that much actually, but she puts a hand on his shoulder several times and we all know about touch-starved tropes with Din (big fan here too but no thanks).

Then, the overall growing silliness in the season. Don't get me wrong, Star Wars can and will be silly. But having Lizzo+Jack Black+Christopher Lloyd in the same episode was like reading a tumblr post about improbable cameos we wished to see in The Mandalorian (which in turn is irony on how the writers love their cameos).

Also, how Grogu has been completely turned into a puppet. I'm gonna say it: I hate his somersaults. They're ridiculous, they make it apparent how fake he his and they're overused as a cuteness treat. Apart from that, Grogu's development was close to non-existent if not for the flashback he got and the cringe mech suit of his deceased nanny allowing him to comunicate (and enrages me cause was it so difficult to give him a YES/NO pocket device to communicate??). Sorry if I'm digressing. But Grogu this season felt 95% the merchandise Disney sees him as.

And finally, but there's probably a lot more, how Paz is suddenly made relevant through having a son. Admittedly this is an old trope and I knew since episode 1, when they hinted at the connection between Paz and the yet unnamed Ragnar, that Paz wasn't going to make it out alive. It's the old trick of emotionally investing the audience though an universal tragedy (losing a parent) in order to make their death more significant without having to explore them. Which they didn't of course.

This is just from the top of my head. I'll admit I have trouble remembering other details because my investment sunk a great deal and I can barely tell the episodes apart, so feel free to add on or correct me on my impressions.

[raayllum]

Was mulling over CHET alternatives, specifically re: Ezran for a few different reasons

Ezran is the one textually compared to the previous holder of the Key, the Orphan Queen, as well as directly being her descendant, while Callum has thus far only been compared sub-textually. Right now he has more in common with the Jailer, who was a human mage and also helped construct the prison (assumedly)

Callum would of course hand the cube over for his brother and there would be some delicious irony in the Orphan Queen having the key only for it to be turned over on behalf of her descendant, the lengths siblings either will or will not go for one another being a prevalent point we keep returning to in the show, etc.

Ezran also is related to the game motif, albeit in a different way (connected only to hide and seek rather than the cube)

So like, why have I always leaned towards it being for Rayla > Ezran?

Well, for starters, Callum loves Rayla and Ezran equally. While his relationship with his brother is Callum’s cornerstone as a character, Rayla is very much his agent of change that pushes him to become someone new (and textually, more of himself: “When I could do magic, I finally felt like myself” --> “And then you called me a mage, and that felt right”). Callum himself compares the love he has for Ezran to the love he understands Rayla has for him as early as 2x03, stating “I couldn’t tell him. And I understand why you couldn’t tell me. When you are about someone, it’s hard to hurt them” and similar language is used to describe each language: “You’re my brother and you mean everything to me” (2x06) / “Rayla’s strong thin arms wrapped around him meant everything” (2x04, novelization). They are his two pillars. 

Thus, CHET is less about Callum’s particular relationship with Rayla from a structural standpoint, specifically (although that too but more on that later) as it is “This is the dynamic still in conflict, and it needs to be resolved”. CHET has always specifically been a finale theory - i.e. the last 2-3 episodes of a season - and a theory of how their TTM plot line could be wrapped up, in addition to specifically answering the question of what Callum’s role in freeing Aaravos may be, under the assumption he’s going to have a direct one at all. 

The two options are currently under possession, which guts Callum’s agency (and can work in a tragic way, but also removes more of the consequences because people can just say “you didn’t mean to” and it’ll be true) or him doing it under some kind of coercion that’s ultimately a choice, a la Soren choosing to stab Viren to save Ezran when push came to shove. This would also further the clear comparisons and contrasts he’s had with Claudia and Viren as a character throughout the show, specifically both ramped up in S4. 

Which is to say: if Callum and Ezran were in major conflict, I’d consider him more as a real option for being who Callum says “Just take it” for. But the brothers currently aren’t in conflict, and so nothing needs to be resolved. This could change in S5, but as of right now, we have no reason to think it will (although yes give me broyals angst, I’d adore it).  I do think they will be tested and maybe disagree on some things in S5 or going forward because of their Viren-Harrow parallels, but IDK if it’d amount to a finale conflict (and largely never has before, outside of 1x09, which is introduced and resolved in the same episode rather painlessly). 

But beyond just plot, there’s also the fact that TDP is 1) deeply symbolic, 2) all about inverted and repeating patterns, and 3) the Theme / foreshadowing, y’know? Which is to say:

1) Ezran is with Callum for 3/4 seasons he has the cube. Callum never talks about the cube with him even once. Every scene in which Callum discusses the cube Ezran is either absent or, if he is there, he isn’t weighing in and isn’t non verbal. To the degree I don’t think Ezran has ever even referred to the cube at all, even to draw attention to it whatsoever in a small way.

2) The only people Callum talks about the cube to or adjacently are Rayla (1x04, 1x05, 1x09, 2x07, 3x08, 4x07) and Bait (2x06, 2x07, 4x02). Bait is easy to explain as he’s a good excuse for Callum to say certain things, or add something/someone for him to react to, without actually being a conversational partner (hence why so many Disney princesses also have animal sidekicks, ‘cause we can’t get away with having characters just talk to themselves too much, most of the time). Rayla is harder to explain, because it would’ve been very easy to finagle some scenes with the cube, especially in S1 or even S4, to have Ezran conversing with Callum about it, being excited (like he is with the Sunforge dagger), trying to distract his brother from something, etc. But no, it’s always Rayla.

3) If you want an in depth meta on Rayla’s weird connection / Cube associations, you can read it here. But really all I gotta say is that Rayla is the character used to foreshadow the cube’s connection to Aaravos well before the letter in 2x06, the only person to routinely call it a game piece / toy, and the only reason Callum has it at all. And again, it did not need to be her consistently, just like she didn’t have to have it on her shoulder, glowing with the Star primal, for her grand re-entrance in Callum’s life. But she does, so. Something’s gotta give

4) Layers of irony. Turning the key over for Ezran only presents one layer of irony, with the Orphan Queen connection. Turning the key over for Rayla offers at least three: doing anything to save the life of a person who tried to kill you / who you asked to kill you; “I hope it was worth it to you putting everyone’s lives in danger” (when it was really just hers back in 1x04, hence why that line has Foreshadowing feelings) now being true; Rayla not being the one who sacrifices, but the one who is sacrificed for, and much more, tbh. As well as the fact it would add layers to her arc and dynamic with Callum that just wouldn’t be applicable with Ezran because, unlike his older brother and best friend, he just doesn’t have the same relationship to sacrifice, martyrdom, or the love-death duality Rayllum are constantly walking the wire’s edge to.

As well as then what it gives, Callum, as well? Just structurally / from an arc standpoint

Him having a vested motivation to then reclaim the cube and fully make it his own, as Rayla says in 1x04: “Hey sad prince. Let’s go get your cube” which could also parallel a journey with magic and understanding the other arcanum

Finally addressing and bringing Callum’s flaw of selfish tunnel vision to  a head (1x04 -> 2x04 -> 5x09?) as well as his ruthless side

The possible guilt over how things went but not regret over the choice he made and how complicated those emotions are

Possible fallout with Ez who disagreed in the moment and/or other characters like Soren or Opeli being upset with him, having to deal with that

Furthers the Callum-Claudia and Callum-Viren parallels, allowing both antagonists to remain sympathetic because a ‘hero’ made a similar choice and for similar reasons

Possible Rayllum reconciliation in time for Callum to be able to address his big messy feelings about Runaan without big messy feelings for Rayla also allowing him to create a distance from Runaan, either

And a big personal one-on-one score to settle as right now, Callum is scared of Aaravos only because he may hurt his loved ones, not because he’s actually tried to. Let the kid be angry and protective, y’know?

Callum possibly doubting if it’s a good thing he ever became a mage in a first place, exploring what his self worth looks like outside magic / that he has worth even without it, reaffirming his status as a mage, possibly inspiring him to want to share it with more people and help them connect to arcanums too, etc. 

Also giving Callum’s heavy associations with freedom/liberty throughout the seasons its own double edged sword it largely hasn’t had until now that I think is Neat

And last but not least, continuing arc 2′s trend of moving past “making up for our parents’ mistakes” to “how do we make up for our own mistakes or complicated choices?” which are chef’s kiss

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

There should be more Andy Zaltzman in the world. Sorry to bother you it's not really a question but why isn't there more Andy Zaltzman in the world? I've been good and not drinking for a week now and I think I deserve more Andy Zaltzman fuck I don't even like cricket but this shitting world don't give me no choice.

Andy Zaltzman is, in my book, the only comedian that makes sense.

Good night legend of Canada.

There’s this martial arts gym where I used to run wrestling sessions for their fighters, we had a great relationship with the gym and its owners for many years, but I distinctly recall the first time I ever went in there and met everyone, in I think 2009. The guy who worked at the front desk was a great guy, and we were just instantly hit by waves of “God, what a great guy this is” from the first moment we met him. He was clearly really nice in general, but was also just wildly impressed with my best friend and I and our ability to do even pretty basic wrestling things, he asked us to show them to him over and over and marveled at how great we were and couldn’t believe the gym would be blessed with our presence. I have this clear memory of walking out of the gym and back to my friend’s truck, and saying to my friend, “Right, I don’t want to talk to anyone except [guy at the desk’s name] ever again.”

That story came into my head as I read this message, because it was a bit of the same feeling. Okay, everyone else get out of here, I don’t want to talk to anyone except the person who wrote this message ever again. New standard for my inbox: you have to rave mildly coherently about Andy Zaltzman for a bit, and then call me a legend of Canada. Anything else will pale in comparison now. What an utterly excellent message. (I'm joking, everyone feel free to send me anything you like, but you do get extra points for waxing poetic about Andy Zaltzman and calling me a legend.)

God, there should absolutely be more Andy Zaltzman in the world. Unfortunately he cannot be everywhere at once, but since you wrote so eloquently on the subject, here, have a little Andy Zaltzman, as a treat:

Okay, okay, a little more.

The above two are my favourite things to think of whenever I hear Andy Zaltzman talk about the disastrous gigs he's had at comedy clubs and universities. Sometimes I think it's a mystery what happened at the legendary York 2005 Zaltzman and Oliver gig where they were chased off stage, and sometimes I think - okay, Andy, to be fair to that audience, sometimes you're really annoying. In the best way. The best way. Ruthless artistic integrity by doing things like absolutely refusing to give the story a point.

Okay, have a little more.

Look, I'm not into cricket either, but sometimes he talks about other sports! The depth with which he genuinely cares about the integrity of sports and hates things that make a mockery of it is truly admirable. I'm not being ironic or anything this time, like how there's a vague layer of irony over praising of the pun runs, I just really respect his stance on that and commitment to writing jokes pointing out bullshit that ruins sports. His stance on how the word "wrestling" should refer to the sport first and only make people think of the actors on TV if they specify that they mean "pretend wrestling" would make me love him even if I had no other reason to.

Look, I cannot pass up an excuse to post this again:

The UK TV channels know they couldn't handle Zaltzman's power, but they do let him on TV in Australia once in a while:

Also, I cannot recommend enough his 2019 year-end stand-up show, which he released for free as a Bugle episode, which is amazing. It's only the first half - he says in the episode that he might release the second half later in the year but then it never happens - but I think the first half is most of the meat of the show, anyway (he explains in the podcast that the first half is much longer than the second half, because somehow stand-up comedy lets you break the rules of math like that, in addition to letting people play fast and loose with the otherwise fairly rigid definition of "hour"). This is probably in my top ten favourite stand-up shows I've ever heard, and it got released as just another episode of a podcast. Fucking incredible.

Early pun run - not as long as some later ones, but the first one to feature footnotes, and Andy Zaltzman's jokes that feature footnotes never fail to get me:

As far as his pun runs go, I think this one's a bit underrated:

I like that one because I like the ones where he picks a category with a finite number of items, and then hits every single one. Like American post-war presidents. Or Asian countries. "You and I did a rap, am I right?" as "United Arab Emerites" haunts me in my sleep sometimes. As does "Bhutan with the show" "Fuck you!"

I hope this has done just a bit to sate your need for more Andy Zaltzman. Well done on being good and not drinking for a week, you solid gold legend (I'm mixing my references here, but close enough).

[she-karev]

Out of Nowhere

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Six

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: This chapter takes place in season 14 episode 9 when Jo is confronted by her abusive ex-husband. I will take one shot requests.

Summary: Amber figures out who her stalker is and helps Jo with her abusive ex-husband.

Words: 2921

I sit in the attending’s lounge talking to a couple of police officers who were called in by Andrew. Chief Bailey gave us the lounge after we explained what happened so we can have privacy. Andrew is standing by my side for which I am grateful for.

“And you didn’t recognize the vehicle in question?” Officer Royce asks, “Nobody in your building drives a black Lexus?”

“No.”

“Look the guy didn’t just follow her after work he followed her back to the hospital and waited outside.” Andrew explains.

“Sir please calm down we’re getting her statement.” Officer Jennings turns to me, “Do you have any idea who it could be? An ex-boyfriend or spouse? Someone you went on a date with recently? He usually lives in the same city.”

“No, my exes all live in Iowa and New York and I just moved here a month ago my circle is really small.” I pull out my phone and show them the message board, “I tried blocking him but he messaged me this time from the hospital in real time. He took those photos from a corner while I was working.”

“Has he approached you physically?” Royce asks, “Has he been violent to you?”

“No he hasn’t but he’s here I mean the evidence is right there on my phone.” I glare at them and continue, “Are you gonna find this guy and make him stop?”

“We’ll trace the phone to the source but odds are it’s a burner phone based on the ID. And even then, he could throw the phone away.” Andrew scoffs at Jennings, “I understand your concerned but we’ll do our best to find out who’s been calling you and bring him in for questioning.”

“We typically advise people in your situation to keep close to someone at all times so he doesn’t approach you when you’re alone. Also, you should keep a record of every incident of harassment.” He pulls out a handheld notebook that I take, “If he calls you, texts you, follows you write it down. It’s a sure way to gain credibility and get a restraining order and possibly jail time.”

“Possibly?” Andrew asks in frustration, “This guy followed her in his car last night, he could’ve run her off the side of the road and make her hit a pole or worse. Would he ‘possibly’ get jail time then?”

“Andrew calm down.” I tell him under my breath and face the cops, “Thanks for the help officers.” I lead them out of the door and close it to face Andrew who fumes, “I let you stay in the room so I could be stopped from pissing off the cops but I think I should’ve done that for you instead.”

“How are you not angry right now?” Andrew asks incredulous, “I mean the cops basically gave the guy a free pass to attack you in the middle of the pit and you don’t see a problem with that?”

“Of course, I see a problem with that but I expected this from the beginning.” I tell him this harsh reality, “A woman being followed is low priority against a murder or a hospital hacking. I appreciate your concern but the harsh truth is that other than a blocked number I haven’t given much for the cops to go on.”

“Well, you’re not just gonna be a sitting duck for this guy.” He says it with conviction, “I’m between places right now but I can get us a hotel room until the police catch this guy.”

“I told Alex and he’s offered to let me stay at his loft for a while.” I inform him and he nods.

“Okay good.”

“Yeah, it’s a loft and I’m sure it’ll be cramped.” I grin and Andrew grins back.

I chuckle lightly as a thought comes to me, “What is it?” Andrew asks.

“Normally my friends seeing me hugging you and kissing you would be my greatest concern but this takes the cake.” I grin at the cruel irony, “Do you think they would buy it if I told them you were giving me body warmth after I contracted pneumonia.”

“I don’t think even Glasses is dumb enough to fall for that.” I snort at his joke, “Qadri knows and you said she was cool with it.”

“There’s a difference she’s not awful Roy and Helm on the other hand are gonna make it their mission to never let me live this down.” I groan as I imagine their sneers, “I need to go back out there the place is falling apart and Bailey gave us the room until after the cops leave.”

“Okay let’s go back to the pit come on I’ll walk you.” I stand up and follow him back to the pit feeling calmer now that I know he’s by my side through this nightmare

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex sits in a bench putting his surgical booties on so he can place a shunt in Frankie’s AVM. As he finishes, he sees someone he recognizes sitting on the bench next to him too. He pales as he sees the man next to him is Dr. Paul Stadler. The last time he saw Stadler he tracked him down and contemplated what to do about him and decided to let him go knowing it’s not what Jo would have wanted him to do.

Every cell in his body right now wants to beat him up but he reins it in and keeps his voice calm so as to not raise suspicion, “What are you doing here?”

Paul looks at Alex, “Hi Paul Stadler, Orlando Medical.”

“Yeah, I know who you are.” He says with a slight of anger he’s feeling.

Paul feigns innocence, “I’m sorry have we met before? You know your face looks kind of familiar like someone else’s.” Paul has a slight malice in his eyes that Alex catches and Paul continues to play dumb, “I just got in yesterday, do you have a brother or a sister?” He emphasizes the sister part making it clear he knows who he is and who Amber is.

Alex connects the dots and realizes Jo’s abusive husband is also Amber’s current stalker, making his blood boil more if that was possible. Just as he’s about to snap Helm runs outside the O.R. calling for him, “Dr. Karev, Dr. Shepherd said Frankie’s angio shows a bleed.”

“Yikes don’t let me keep you.”

Alex ignores Paul and rushes inside the scrub room making Frankie his priority right now. However, his girlfriend and sister’s safety is still on his mind as he faces Helm, “Intern what’s your name?”

“Helm. Like Hellmouth without the outh.”

“Don’t scrub. I need you to find Dr. Wilson and Dr. Karev and bring them here.” Alex tries to keep calm even when his worries skyrocket.

“You want me to call them?”

“No.” Alex says sharply, “I want you to find Jo Wilson and Amber Karev and bring them both here. And don’t leave either of their sides.”

“Why?” Helm asks annoyed.

“Just do it.” His sharp tone makes Helm walk out. Alex faces the sink tensely ignoring Amelia when she asks what’s going on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stretch my neck releasing the knots that formed while I helped transfer nine patients from the pit to other area hospitals. The AC was shut off by the hackers and as a result I’m wearing a layer of sweat all over my body. The blood bank is locked out as well and until emergency shipments are brought in employees are encouraged to donate blood. I decided to take the initiative as well as Andrew who is next to me filling out the paperwork.

I exhale as I fan myself with the clipboard, “If I die of heat exhaustion, I give you an order to not resuscitate me.” Andrew chuckles, “I’m starting to think that Black Mirror was on to something about technology being the end of good and honest society.”

“I wouldn’t know I’ve never seen it.” I look at him baffled by his lack of pop culture again, “I’m a doctor I don’t have time to relax and binge on Netflix. Sue me.”

“If we make it out of this nightmare alive, I am making it my personal mission to catch you up on all my favorite movies and tv shows.”

“Why do I get the feeling I’m in for a scary and bloody ride?” Andrew asks with a grin.

“You are but don’t worry you can curl up next to me when the scary parts come on.”

“In that case I can’t wait.” I chuckle at his eagerness to be close to me.

“Clear!” I look to my left and see the source is from Casey Parker who put the defibrillator paddles inside the blood bank keypad. He charges the paddles and the keypad short circuits, Casey then opens the door, “We have blood!”

I look at Andrew who is also impressed by Casey, “I guess we don’t need to give blood.”

Andrew puts our clipboards away, “Back to the pit of hell.” I groan and reluctantly walk by him in the direction of the pit. Helm sees us and runs to us with an annoyed face.

I glare at her and speak before she can, “Helm back away I don’t want to hear your opinions on us.”

“Oh, I have a lot trust me.” I roll my eyes, “But I’m not here for that I’m here because your brother sent me to find you and Dr. Wilson and bring him to his O.R.”

“What? Why?” My anger shifts to confusion at Alex’s request.

“I don’t know.” Helm looks confused too, “All I know is that he wants me to find you two and bring you to him he sounded really serious and quite frankly scary. Did word get back to him about your little moment in the elevator?”

“Helm watch it.” Andrew says sharply, “Did you find Dr. Wilson?”

“No I just spotted you and I don’t know where Dr. Wilson is, she was supposed to be working on Frankie.”

“Okay I’ll find her and bring her to Alex’s O.R.” I turn to walk away but Andrew gently grabs my arm.

“Whoa hey are you sure it’s a good idea to walk around here alone?” I see Helm roll her eyes out of the corner of my eyes but I ignore her.

“I’ll be fine I won’t be alone and I haven’t heard from him since the elevator. Besides Alex sounds pissed and as much as I want to see it I would rather Helm not be on the other side of his fury.”

“I heard that.” Helm says.

“You were supposed to.” I focus back on Andrew who still looks worried, “I’m gonna look for Jo in the gallery’s and Helm will take the lounge’s. You should get back to the pit though they’re probably still swamped. I’ve got this and I’ll call you if I need any help.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. Now go.” Andrew nods still looking concerned but leaves me and Helm in the hall, “Did you already look at this floor?”

“Yeah I checked the lounges and the patient rooms but I didn’t find her. I was gonna look at the surgical floor next, I got this you can go.”

“No, I’m coming with you.”

“Look I got this.” Helm snaps and I narrow my eyes at her, “You should go help your boyfriend in the pit god knows where else you helped him here.”

“Hey guys are the blood banks still locked I want to donate.” Qadri approaches us at the worst possible time.

I ignore her as I face Helm with an angry face, “Helm if you have a problem woman up and tell me to my face before I punch it.”

Dahlia widens her eyes, “Bad timing?”

“I would love to tell you all the problems I have with your privileged ass, but I don’t want to piss off Dr. Karev.” Helm states, “And unlike you I don’t have all the advantages handed to me in a silver platter.”

I get in her face, “You don’t know anything about me Helm. Nothing, so why don’t you try keeping your mouth shut about things you don’t know but of course that would render you a mute. My personal life is my business not yours to judge and insult, Dahlia got that when she found out and she agrees with me.”

Helm faces Dahlia in shock who looks at us in painful awkwardness, “You knew?!”

“Only for a tiny bit and it was an accident.” Dahlia explains.

Helm scoffs and turns back to me, “The only reason she’s cool with it is because you two didn’t work as hard as I did to get here.”

I roll my eyes at her, “God I swear it’s like you’re actively trying to make everyone hate you.”

“Yeah, well not everyone can be born pretty like you or have a famous last name or sleep with a senior resident.” I keep my temper even so I don’t deck her, “Some of us have to work harder than others and it makes us bitter especially towards people like you who had it easy.”

“Keep talking and I’ll make you work harder with a chipped tooth.” Dahlia gets in the middle.

“Guys can we save this cat fight for when the hospital isn’t falling apart? And besides don’t you have work to do?”

“Fine.” Helm says with indifference, “I’m not an invalid I can handle this on my own because you are the last person I want help from.”

“Well your wrong to think I’m helping you I’m helping my brother who would no doubt yell at you for stalling us and wasting time.” Helm closes her mouth at that and walks away from us. I groan at her before walking in the opposite direction. It aggravates me that Helm immediately assumes my life was easy and I had my success bought by my family.

If she knew even half the things, I went through growing up she would feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I almost want to tell her and make her eat her words but doing that would make me a pariah among the interns. I won’t give her that satisfaction, I’ll just have to beat her in an O.R.

I check the gallery above O.R. 3 and I find Jo sitting there alone observing the surgery, “Hey.” Jo looks at me with a startled expression, “I was looking for-”

Jo shushes me, “Be quiet.” I stop talking and I look to see that Jo isn’t just startled, she’s terrified. She looks at the surgery below with a frightened face that until now I’ve never seen on her. I close the door quietly behind me and take a seat next to her.

“What’s wrong?” I whisper to her to make her feel safe but it doesn’t work because she’s still looking at the surgery in frozen silence. More specifically she’s looking at the guy across from Dr. Grey as they operate on a woman. I recognize the man as Dr. Paul Stadler, I’ve researched him enough and used many of his cases for my classes to know who he is and what he looks like. I look to Jo and she’s still looking at him like he’s gonna jump up the gallery and kill her, “Jo what is it? Do you know him?”

“So Jo Wilson.” Dr. Stadler’s voice calls to me and I look down at the O.R. with her but with curiosity instead of fear, “Has she said some things about me?” Dr. Grey isn’t answering him and I begin to suspect she’s ignoring him, “I can only imagine. Was she drunk when she told you?”

“Suction and laps please.” Grey told the nurse and Stadler continues to reveal more information on what’s happening here.

“I think what Brooke craved from me was stability. I mean the way she was raised. Her mother abandoned her. She lived in her car in high school and I thought I could help her, save her. And for a few years I mean she was great.” I understand now what’s happening and why Alex wanted to find us. But I’m too stunned to ask Jo as we both listen to Paul’s side of the story intently, “But it didn’t last because she’s not stable, and she wasn’t able to hear that, ever. She would get…just awful if you tried to mention that she needed help. I wish…but she vanished with a lot of my money. Hey I mean if she’s got it figured out, then that’s all that matters. If she’s happy I’m happy too.”

I know that his words are just for show. I know this because I’ve grown up with abusive assholes like him whether it’s foster fathers or brothers and I know a guy hiding behind a peaceful persona when I see one. It takes a while for me to find the words and ask Jo what I already know.

“He’s your husband, isn’t he? The one you’re hiding from.”

Jo’s breathing goes shallow but she swallows and answers, “Yes.” I don’t say anything else I just hold her hand so she knows she’s not alone with him right now and she grips my hand for dear life as if she needs to be reminded of that too. I let her hold on to me as we observe her abusive ex husband operate below us.

[minu-moni]

I think Zim is autistic.

From the beginning, it’s really easy to see how he stands out from other irkens. He has a difficult time adjusting to his own kin, he has a difficulty recognizing irony, his voice volume fluctuates in a way no other irken shown does, he often repeats himself or needs others to repeat information for him to process it, has a hard time focusing in general and has difficulty lying.

This traits don’t relate to the moments he acts dumb in the show though, it’s merely something that stands out to him that doesn’t to other irkens. It can be something to find funny, but it doesn’t necessarily relate to when he’s stupid (especially when most of the show consists of characters acting stupid).

I think one moment that stood out for me the most was in Backseat Drivers From Outer Space, when, after the Tallest ended the call, Zim proceeded to stare at the monitor for one hour straight, without moving or making a sound. This behavior stroke me as oddly similar to how a shutdown works, and I started to notice some other signs.

The defective aspect of Zim’s character, as it was (supposed to be) shown in The Trial, could also relate to him being autistic, as autistic people are often ostracized and judged solely on their disability. In this episode, all of Zim’s actions are attributed to his PAK being defective. Instead of simply judging his actions for what they are, actions, the Tallest relate all of it to his PAK’s functions. “If he stepped out of line, he MUST be defective, there’s no other option” is basically the line of thought they go with.

On that note, since we’re talking about autism and media, there’s always one specific subject we need to tackle on.

Though autism is often portrayed in media as something that makes people cold and unfeeling towards others, I don’t think that’s what happens in Zim’s case. We have a clear vision of irken society, and they mostly don’t care about each other. It is possible to be autistic and be an asshole, those things aren’t necessarily related, and, in Zim’s case, they aren’t, it’s simply how his culture imprinted itself on him.

There are other characters in the show I think are autistic, mainly Dib and Gaz, and that could show different parts of the spectrum in the show, so even if Zim’s character and humor takes it’s tool on his autism, we still have other characters to represent the other sides of the spectrum and show that autism isn’t related to someone being evil or not. Maybe I could elaborate on Dib and Gaz’s autism on a future post. We’ll see how it goes.

As for Zim though, I honestly think there’s a decent chance he could be autistic. Not because he’s evil, but because of the way he behaves and some specific traits other people rarely are shown to have in the show, if at all.

Alas, this is essentially a headcanon, so feel free to disagree with me. I would be glad to elaborate on the subject though, so don’t be surprised if you see a “Dib is autistic” post from me in the future.

[piracytheorist]

SxF episode 20 German dub

See what I mean? Instead of writing I go back and watch stuff I've already watched - but but it's in a different language see? Oh well XD

When the Shopkeeper called during Yor's imaginative scenario, she said "Speak of the devil, and he will call." The actual idiom in English ends with "and he doth appear" (no I didn't know that I googled it just now), so now I wonder what the German version of the idiom ends like. A quick search didn't give anything and I'm too bored to search further XD

When Loid talked about how the white robe makes him look more professional, he added a "Don't you think?" at the end. This was cute, how he included Anya in the exchange :D

One of the funniest things about this dub is noticing Anya's language mistakes. She says "Schankedöhn" instead of "Dankeschön" (thank you very much) pretty much every time, and here she said "lennenzukernen" instead of "kennenzulernen" (get to know).

And this reminds me that I wonder, whether young kids make similar mistakes in their native language that people who learn that same language as a foreign one do. Like, the main mistakes I do in German grammar is a) not being sure when to use Akkusativ vs Dativ (like I understand the concept cause we have similar cases in Greek, but I often I forget what case each verb and preposition uses), b) using "haben" instead of "sein" for certain verbs in Perfekt, c) confusing "Ich werde" with "Ich wird" and vice versa, and a common mistake I would see in my fellow classmates was that they were forgetting to put the verb at the end of secondary clauses. Oh, and verbs with prepositions. Some I remember but most of them I'll just never manage to learn what preposition they take and whether Akkusativ or Dativ follows. I reached my foreign language quota at English and with German I've just been... struggling XD

Anya wrote how Loid's work is a paradise and Loid said, "I'm happy to hear that" with full irony on his voice and face.

Why do I find this so funny it shouldn't be funny asddgfdhgd curse you spy x family!! SADSFhdgfjfhdgfd

Anya called the consultation room "boring" because it was not like the operating rooms. Then she asked about the brain modification machine and Loid said "I have the feeling that you haven't understood the profession fully". Then when he wondered where she's getting all those ideas from, he thought he should reduce the time she spends on TV. And look... you won't find me disagreeing with this lmao.

Fiona told him "You and Anya seem to understand each other well" and he responded with "She causes me more work than expected." Fiona also used informal "you" with him. I wonder if in the next episode she'll use formal "you" when in front of Yor.

When Anya was in the vents being all SUS and her foot got free from the pipe, she said "Saved! Back to the base!"

I'm not sure about this one, but when Loid saw the mess Anya made with the sandbox, I think he said "What demon possessed you?!"

When Yor told Anya about Loid's "concussive therapy", Anya responded with "Violence at the workplace." LMAO

I wanted to add this screenshot for the end; when Anya gave her "secret code" to Damian she said "A secret code. Are you smart enough?" I love it when she's all sassy like that XD

[scumbag-monthly]

The Young Ones - Nasty 🦇

Original air date: 29.5.84

Reviewed by: @syb-ill-ah

YES, WE' VE GOT A VIDEO

For me, Nasty is an episode of revelations. Many secrets get revealed, veils lifted, skeletons and dresses pulled out of closets. A dress Rick hopes nobody wants to talk about, and he gets called out by Vyvyan who is very much interested in the good ol' robe even though Neil is dressed in it. Sometimes little is enough to entertain our favourite punk, isn’t it? If only the pretty girly blue secret was the only one, right? What are we supposed to think about the things Rick does in the bathroom? And the beans?! You’re not getting out of this one, Neil! One thing we agree on with the People’s Poet is that we know everything about the beans, even though we’re not going to tell you, you pervy!

Speaking of pervies, let’s not forget about Rick though. The lad has so much more dirt hidden in the little room of his, apart from the notoriously famous attire. (We love the dress, Rick, and apparently so does Vyv!) But what about the Cosmopolitan, ey, Rick? We know and we’re sure everyone else does! You can be thankful Mike didn't dig deeper into that. 

My friends, let’s tackle one thing about Neil and his little tub episode. The bike he finds in there is one of my favourite moments, but it’s not too much more surprising than what the whole TYO can offer. Neil’s secret, my dear friends, is hidden behind a pot suspiciously well attached to his crotch. Now Neil, tell us the secret! Tell us, what’s inside there!

So, in conclusion, we learn a lot about the lads in this episode, the most important thing still yet to be brought to light.

Later in Time Rick gets busted for being a virgin (and we all already know it’s true!). In Nasty ALL the lads get busted for being virgins and the irony makes me giggle every time I rewatch that episode. The shocking fact that even Mike with all his smoothness around girls didn't have his V-card revoked…

…isn't that shocking at all since by that point of the second season we all know very well that there's little chance even one of our beloved four scumbags can possibly NOT be a virgin. How do we find out, though?

A vampire! In a parcel! In the kitchen! And as we know, vampires only attack virgins. Good job calling yourself out, dearest Vyv!

So, what is so Nasty in the episode, you ask? Oh god, let’s talk about when Mike and Vyv get some tapes and desperately try to get their "new video" to work so they can have Sex with the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut. Vyvyan works with the distinct elegance of his - from trying to get the video to work by "pressing" the buttons with a hammer all the way to keeping the machine clean and free from dust by soaking the thing through and through with washing up liquid.

Oh, have we got a video? So many times this question is asked. By Rick, SPG, Neil, even the gravedigger guy. Getting on Vyv’s nerves is a dangerous business, you know, Neil. You might end up being stuck through the window, you know?

In the end the most nasty thing is the trick Harry the Bastard played on everyone, dressing up as a vampire to get everyone busy and forget to return the video. 500 quid is 500 quid, ey, mates?

In the end I need to highlight my probably most favourite bit from The Young Ones and that is the one when Neil starts talking about Oscar Wilde. Thanks to this joke I had a much better time studying for the state exam because the thought of the examiners telling me to “talk about Oscar Wilde” was just too hilarious. Thanks for keeping me sane, TYO!

One last thing, the cherry on top, is Dawn French as the devil woman in the Painaway commercial. That hell is a bisexual heaven. *chef’s kiss*

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

The Pilot (Part 3 of 3)

So, this post will wrap up my Pilot episode commentaries, reviews … whatever they should be classified as. Again, thanks to everyone who checked out Part 1 and Part 2. This one took me ages because I ended up writing about the whole rest of the episode. And here I thought Part 2 took me a long time. But, for anyone who takes a minute to read this one, thank you. And please feel free to comment with what you liked best (or didn’t) about the Pilot.

[For anyone who might have seen this post already, I’m reposting since I needed to fix some things and Tumblr wasn’t cooperating.]

On the Road Again

(Alternate Title: Sam and Dean Brothering)

My commentary and more pic edits are under the cut …

THE CASE

ABOUT ME: Alight, so honesty time, I don’t really like horror. Yes, I watched the mainstream ones that came out in the theaters when I was in high school and university (Hello, Mr Padalecki in House of Wax), largely because it was something to go do with friends, but it’s certainly not a favorite genre of mine. I’ve never seen ones like The Exorcist and I don’t plan to. However, SPN, even in the early seasons is more like horror lite, but even then there are episodes I won’t watch while going to bed because I don’t want that crap swimming around my subconscious while I’m sleeping. But all that being said, I generally don’t mind the creep factor on the show, and I like some of the monsters, but the relationships, especially between Sam and Dean are what hooked me on the show. All this is just to explain why I generally probably won’t talk that much about the cases of the week unless they are very relevant to a plot arc or I really like/hate them.

THE MONSTER OF THE WEEK: Anyway, The Woman in White is a pretty decent first ghost to set up the show, and the case shows us what the Winchesters do when they hunt and what they know about the supernatural world. The MOTW gives us some classic horror tropes (the cheater gets killed, ghost kids are creepy as hell), and it sets up some classic SPN tropes (shooting ghosts and blood splats, anyone?). I think the ghost is sufficiently creepy. The case is fairly straightforward, but it’s not like I usually tune into the show for the mystery alone, so that’s fine with me. I think the effects are pretty decent for the ghost given when it was filmed, though the glitchy-ness makes it feel a little too much like computer effects, at times. Still, the only part that really stands out to me in a bad way is when the ghost kids zoom over to their ghost mother and … latch on to her? Whatever they are doing, it looks weird, to me, and kind of awkward, and it sort of takes me out of the moment. Overall though, I think the ghost and the first case are a good start to the show.

WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN

GETTING STARTED: When Sam and Dean first start working the case, we really start to see who they are as people and their dynamic. Surprising to no one who has watched the show, Jared and Jensen do a phenomenal job of selling Sam and Dean as siblings despite not looking much alike. Their frequent bickering and physicality paint a very convincing picture of siblings dynamics between people who grew up together. As someone with brothers myself, their teasing and the occasional smack feel on point to me.

When they get into the car, the show sets up how Dean and his Dad live and support themselves, as well as Sam's vague disdain for scamming credit cards. But one of the most classic of all SPN imagery and concepts is set up here with Dean as the driver, picking the music, with Sam riding shotgun. If this isn’t also a metaphor for a good portion of their relationship, I don’t know what is; Dean is the boss and Sam is expected to follow (except when he doesn’t). On a similar note, later in the episode, the irony of Dean calling Sam a control freak when Sam shoves his chair away from the computer is … phew. Dean, my friend, you are a black pot and Sam is your kettle. Anyway, not only does the way they act around each other, and play off of each other, more then sell them as brothers, it starts to reveal who they are.

Dean is a snarky smart-ass who clearly has little respect for authority (when it isn’t his dad), as he has no problem lying to or even mouthing-off to law enforcement. To him, they are civilians poking their noses into monster business, so he can’t be bothered to pretend to respect what they have to officer. Sam kicks Dean under the officer's sight line for his flippancy, and aside from being a classic sibling move, this suggests he has more respect for authority (when it isn’t his dad) and the law in particular (as a hopeful future lawyer, this is not a surprise) than Dean. It also shows he’s more cautious and less brash than Dean, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves by being snarky or confrontational.

Besides starting to establish who our main characters are, this early part of the case starts to reveal the complexity of how Sam and Dean feel about each other. Clearly, there is a lot more volatile emotions simmering away than simple sibling rivalry. Sam seems to resent Dean siding with their dad over him, and both his dad and brother's for hunting and revenge. On the other hand, Dean is clearly not over Sam leaving (abandoning him, their dad and the mission) and is seemingly itching for a bit of a fight. All it takes is one statement from Sam about their mom being gone no matter what they do, for Dean to break. As I mentioned in (I think) my Part 1 discussion, this moment, paired with the introduction scenes with Mary, makes a lot of sense. Dean is pissed that Sam doesn’t seem to take the mission seriously enough, while Sam truly can’t remember her, so it’s impossible for him to feel the same connection to dad's mission of revenge as Dean. Despite growing up together, these boys clearly did not have entirely the same childhood experience (which of course, we will see more of later). Despite their tension, it’s also clear that these brothers care about each other and are comfortable together. They speak at the same time (jinx!), showing they are clearly in sync. They are both annoyed and amused by each other's teasing, especially Sam reluctantly smiling at Dean's snark. They sit so close that they’re practically on top of each other, which they definitely would not do if they didn’t like each other and weren’t comfortable with each other. And, they express their care for each other in their own (jerk-bitch) emotionally constipated way. The latter is especially true for Dean of the no chick-flick moments. Even after years apart, these guys clearly have a close bond, despite their issues.

DIVIDING AND CONQUERING

HOW THE WINCHESTERS WORK: Even when detained by the police, Dean, we see is holding true to his fearless and flippant persona as he gives the cop interrogating him little respect and a lot of attitude. We also find out a little more about Dean and John. They clearly think ahead, setting up systems for finding each other in the inevitability of them getting separated (the coordinates in the journal). This is something I love seeing in the show later with Sam and Dean, their code words and contingency plans. These are aspects of the characters that really make them feel real and competent, and I wish we got more of this throughout the seasons. When the officer gets called away, we also see that Dean is resourceful (hello, Clippy!), and can pick a lock.

Meanwhile, we see the first hints os Sam's true super power, puppy-dog eyes. Still, they must not be up to full power after years off the job, as the widower ends up storming off in an offended and guilty huff. Next, as it turns out, Sam was the one who called in the tip that cleared out station, giving Dean the opportunity to make his escape. I love that Sam does this for three particular reasons. First, it shows that he’s smart and resourceful, and, despite his desire to no longer be a part of the hunting life, thinking on his feet is clearly still very much a part of him. Secondly, and related to my first point, this move shows how he and a Dean are a team, even when separated. Sam knows that if he gets Dean an opportunity, he will find a way to use it and escape. Finally, this little move of essentially prank calling the cops, reveals more about Sam. Mr. Future Lawyer is not above breaking the rules if it means helping his brother. This confirms to us that Sam isn’t exactly the straight-laced guy he appears to be at the start of the episode.

A couple more things that stand out for me, while the brothers are on the phone, is how proud Dean clearly is of Sam fior making that call into the police (one of us! one of us!), and Sam is full on smiling while discussing his recent misdemeanor. Whether he likes it or not, a part of Sam enjoys this. He is having fun hunting, or at least hanging out with Dean, and Dean is loving having Sam back.

REUNITED FOR NOW

(But really, for the next 15 years, give or take a few separations)

BETTER TOGETHER: So, not-unsurprisingly, Sam gets attacked by the ghost. He is a faithful guy, which already seemed pretty clear from his vibe when he’s first introduced in the episode, but it’s nice to have confirmed. The ghost doesn’t care and basically sexually assaults him so that she’ll be justified in killing him. I mean … bad form, Constance. Dean shows up shooting her in the face, which distracts her just long enough (despite not being salt shells - is this when they get the idea to start using salt shells, I can’t recall?) for Sam to crash the impala into the house, effectively taking her home. So, Sam helped save Dean by giving him a chance to get out of custody, and Dean helps save Sam by distracting the ghost so Sam can bring her back to the house. I like how they both save each other, or give each other the opportunity to save themselves. This establishes that they are both capable alone but better when they work as a team.

So, besides my comments on the screen shots above, a few more things really stand out for me in the final parts of the episode. Sam, who just crashed a car into an abandoned house, was attacked by a ghost, and has now been threatened by his sibling, is again smiling. This weirdo is having a good time, and I love it. I keep pointing this out because I don’t think I fully noticed just how much Sam smiles in the Pilot when I watched it before, and a lot of the time it’s with Dean or just after breaking the law or being attacked. It really adds some interesting nuance to Sam, who is not simple the straight man, and informs his conflict over going back home.

Another thing that stands out to me here is just how desperately Dean wants Sam to stay with him. We can practically feel it through the screen. A part of him was clearly starting to hope that now that they found their groove again, Sam might just stay with him, that maybe he would blow off that law school interview after all. He is clearly crushed when Sam says he has to get back, and we pretty much see him scrambling to pull his armor back on to protect himself from Sam's rejection. It’s almost heartbreaking, which is a testament to Jensen's acting, as well his and Jared's chemistry and ability to make these guys seem real. In just about 45 minutes, we are invested in these characters and their relationship. Jared does a good job with Sam, too. We can clearly see his conflict; he did have fun hunting with Dean, it’s clear that he had missed Dean, and I think a part of him wants to stay with Dean. But Sam is stubborn, and more than that, he has built a new life for himself, a plan. Still, when he offers that olive branch when they’re saying goodbye, of him and Dean hanging out some time soon, I believe that he wants to, but I’m not sure if either of them believe it will happen. It’s actually sad to think they are going their separate ways, and we’re already rooting for them to stay together.

Finally, the episode comes full circle with Sam finding Jess on the ceiling (not pictured above because it just creeps me out, like with Mary), the fire, Dean saving him again by pulling him out of the fire, and Sam picking up his father's mantel of vengeance. At this point, Dean has been fully established in our eyes as Sam's protector, and Sam has been established as our doubly tragic hero who is now on his own mission for revenge.

FINAL THOUGHTS: One last thing that I forgot to mention above that I love about the Pilot is the humor that runs though it. It’s not uproariously funny or anything, but it has nice doses of humor throughout. A good amount of this comes from Dean who is established as a funny character, but funny moments also come from a lot of the brothers' interactions. Their squabbling and backhands, or digs on each other, add a nice bit of realism and lightness to what could otherwise be an unrelentingly dark episode. I love how this becomes an established part of the show later, I think starting especially in Season 2. In later seasons, though it does get a little too heavy handed for me on occasion. I think it’s ultimately a big part of what mane Supernatural different. That and Sam and Dean's general unhingedness regarding each other.

Regarding Jess, as much as I like her character and believe Sam would have eventually returned to hunting regardless, now that Dean is back in his life, I think it makes sense that she dies here, giving him that push. It gets them going on the hunt more quickly. Also, I read somewhere that the writers had toyed with having Jess be possessed. I’m truly glad they never went that route. I think it’s much more poignant that she was just a good person, who Sam loved. It’s more tragic, more painful him him to lose her as she is in the Pilot, and it’s ultimately a more pure relationship.

At the end of the episode, we are left with a lot of questions to speculate on, and even more that we want to find answers for. This, besides establishing the characters, is just about the most important thing a Pilot can do. It leaves us curious and wanting to know more. Would Sam have seen Dean again if Jess hadn’t died (yes)? Where is the dad? Why is he leaving them coordinates, instead of just calling or texting them? When are we going to see him again. What is going to happen to Sam now that he’s lost Jess in this way? What will this mean for the brother’s relationship going forward? What killed their mother and Jess? Why? What other kinds of scary crap are the boys going to come up against?

Will we find some of the answers in Season 1, Episode 2, Wendigo (I mean … mostly, no)?

Well, this ended up being way longer than I planned, so if you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to comment or reblog with your thoughts on the episode!

To be Continued …

… in Wendigo, Part 1, coming soon-ish …