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hanni-bae44 · 7 days

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Title: We Can't Be Friends (Jaehyun)

Pairing- Jaehyun x fem!reader

Genre- University AU, ex-friends to classmates to lovers, angst, fluff (warnings: alcohol, making out lol)

Word Count- 8.7k

Summary- You thought your ex-bestfriend who broke your heart would be out of your life forever once high school ended. But of course, the universe had its way of bringing back the people who were meant to be in your life. And before you even realized it, Jaehyun stirs a whirlwind of your life again as old feelings resurface.

8 JANUARY 2024 - MONDAY

Your first class of the spring semester was Intro to Humanities and so far it was just introductions of the TA’s and discussions of the syllabus. The lecture room was huge, a class of around 250 people. Bored of scrolling on your phone, you scanned the room when you saw a familiar face in the back. Your hand practically flew to your mouth from the shock that just jolted inside you. Just what the hell was Jaehyun doing here? You moved cities away from the high school you attended with him for university and yet somehow he still managed to make his presence in your new life.

You just couldn’t believe how life had played out. Just as you thought you would never see him again, there he was. The guy who used to be your friend. The guy who broke your heart. The guy who pushed you out of his life.

Jung Jaehyun. And he was still as handsome as ever.

So much for choosing this class as a fun elective. Just why did the universe hate you?

Your first thought was dropping the class. But then you realized how much Jaehyun had already affected your life. Yeah, there was no way you were going to let him affect you again.

It was fine, you told yourself. This class had a lot of people. And the chance you would even have to interact with him was low. Right?

12 JANUARY 2024 - FRIDAY

Friday. The last day to drop and add courses.

The thing about this class was that it had a mandatory discussion meeting on Friday with the TA. Things were looking great so far when Friday came. There were about 30 people in your class and no one had taken the seat beside you. Just perfect.

Then the door opened. And perhaps you spoke too soon.

“Sorry I’m late,” a boy greeted the TA.

Nosey, you turned to see who it was that would have to sit next to you. Of course, you thought. There was no way Jaehyun would’ve left your life so easily. Out of all the TA’s he could've been assigned, just why did it have to be yours?

You pretended not to recognize him, but unfortunately, it looked like he had recognized you based off the grin on his face.

“Nice seeing you here,” he muttered as he took the empty seat beside you.

You sighed. Your arms were folded, and you had a scowl on your face. Just perfect.

Turns out the worst thing about the semester was not the 7 a.m. class you had across campus from your residence hall, but in fact it was the boy you hated from high school. As if having a class with him wasn’t annoying enough, your TA also assigned discussion partners and yours just happened to be him as well.

You were fine if he was still the jerk he was in high school since it would make it easier to hate him but he had matured. He was more likable now. And then his physique. Yeah, it was getting harder to pretend not to notice it. His bulkier muscles, broader shoulders, longer legs… There was no imperfection in sight. Everything about him was even more alluring.

On the first day of the discussion class, Jaehyun didn’t say much. But you’d soon learn that he was still as talkative as he was in highschool. Only this time, you weren’t the same person you were back then. You weren’t his friend anymore. The small talk he tried to make was often met with a “shut up” from you but he did the opposite. It was annoying, but still a part of you liked the attention he gave you. Especially since he barely talked to you back then.

Because no matter how much you still resented him, you didn’t think you’d ever stopped loving him.

19 JANUARY 2024 - FRIDAY

As if having to be partners didn't suck enough, Jaehyun also discovered the spot where you sat during the lecture. The first time he saw you, he waved and walked directly to the empty seat next to you. And that was where he was the past two classes. The auditorium was huge, just how did he spot you amidst the crowd of people anyway?

“Do you really hate me that much?” Jaehyun asked, nudging your shoulder. It was a Friday meeting again and the TA had just finished summarizing the professor’s notes. “Hello? I’m talking to you,” he added, waving his hands in front of you.

There was only so much you could take. He liked to make side comments and distract you from paying attention. Not just in the lectures, but also during the Friday discussions.

“We’re supposed to be discussing Antigone and Lysistrata,” you droned. “Now shut up and let me reread the excerpt.” You tried to focus on the scripts in front of you from the past two weeks, although it was hard to do so with how Jaehyun always had stuff unrelated to the assignment to say.

He huffed. “Do you think Oedipus would’ve lived happily if his father never got in his head about the prophecy?” Jaehyun reluctantly asked. He saw how the TA was going around to observe everyone’s discussions and didn’t want to be called out or have points docked.

“I don’t think anything could’ve changed his destiny.. How do you feel about Lysistrata in comparison to Antigone?” you asked Jaehyun back, noticing how the TA was taking participation points. You hated being so formal to him. It was as if he was a stranger to you even though he wasn't.

After class, you went back to your dorm to meet up with your roommate. Yunjin and you were roommates for the second year now and you always got lunch with her when you could.

“Are we going yet?” you whined. You were hungry and Yunjin was too busy scrolling on her phone to care.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, give me a second,” she said as she hopped off her bed.

On the way to the dining hall, you began to inform Yunjin about seeing your ex-friend again. You felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t tell someone how you felt. And luckily for you, Yunjin was always one to get excited over your dry love life.

It was elementary school and you had P.E. but instead of doing any exercise, you sat down on the basketball court and leaned against the fence to read your favorite book. You were minding your own business when you felt a basketball hit your head.

“Hey, are you alright? I’m so sorry.” The tall boy crouched down to make sure you were okay. Normally a kid like him would laugh but something was different about him. He actually felt bad for hurting you and offered to walk you to the nurse’s office.

From that day forward, you and him became glued to the hip. At least that was until high school came along.

It was sophomore year of high school when Jaehyun joined the basketball team. He then began to crush on a girl named Seulgi and she was absolutely beautiful. All he would talk about was her. And one day he'd even come to you and ask you to kiss him since he'd never kissed anyone before. You knew he was just using you as practice for Seulgi but you kissed him anyway and that would be a regret you had for a long time.

He soon became more busy with practice too and barely had time for you. It was gradual in the way he would blow you off just to hang out with his new friends. Your friendship with him was slipping and yet you still held on, hoping he wouldn’t leave you behind.

Weeks would fly by and he was distant as ever. At first, his texts were short. Then, he wouldn't respond at all. You would see him in the hallways but it was obvious he avoided you. Even when he saw you, he would pretend like he didn’t.

You still remembered the time your friend dragged you to your school’s basketball game because her crush was on the team. That was the first time you saw Jaehyun on the court shooting hoops and he was amazing. You could tell how coordinated and fast he was. He didn’t seem to notice you on the bleachers though and that was when you realized you were now just someone he went to school with.

After the game, you watched as Jaehyun ran up to the bleachers to hug a girl before kissing her. As reality crashed down, so did your heart. He finally got together with his dream girl. The girl he couldn’t stop gushing about back when you both were friends. And it was then that you realized there was no room in his life for you anymore.

At least he was happy now. He was never that happy when he was with you.

Since then, you’ve tried to erase Jaehyun out of your life. If he wanted to be like that, you could be too.

The rest of that year sucked but you still managed to make a lot of memories the last two years of high school. You joined a bunch of clubs and even started to volunteer. You scored high on your college entrance exam and even got asked out by a guy in your grade. Mark was kind, considerate, and made you laugh. Most of all, he made you feel loved.

You and him dated until the summer after graduation. It was a mutual decision and looking back, Mark truly was your first reciprocated love.

Yunjin and you both got your food at the dining hall before sitting down at your usual spot. After you finished summarizing your first heartbreak to her, a part of her was in shock that you even had a boyfriend at all in the first place considering how avoidant you were these days. It was like she didn’t even care about the point you were trying to make. She only cared to see what Mark looked like and if he was a good kisser or not and although you don’t blame her, you wished she would also focus on the fact that this story was about Jaehyun and how he had hurt you back then.

It wasn’t until you gave her the information she wanted about Mark, that she shifted her interest back to Jaehyun.

“What he did was shitty but he was a teenager and you know how boys are. It’s also natural, people grow apart all the time,” Yunjin said as she stabbed her salad with her fork in the dining hall.

“How can you be taking his side?”

“I’m not! It’s just been 4 years now. People change again as they grow up. Just give him a second chance considering how much effort he’s making to get close again.”

You let her words sink in. Yunjin was always more rational than you. She also rarely held a grudge and preached positivity. So maybe she had a point. But that didn’t mean you were just going to forgive him so easily. Not when he wasn’t even the littlest bit apologetic. His only intention was to get on your nerves and act as the gum on your shoe. And that? You were sure of.

24 JANUARY 2024 - WEDNESDAY

Duccio’s Maesta painting was the topic of class this week. Thankfully the professor talked the whole time and there wasn’t much partner conversation going on.

For the past few weeks Jaehyun had been trying to catch you after class. You had no intention of rekindling a friendship with him and you made that clear. Jaehyun never cared though which was why it was so annoying trying to avoid him. So for today, like every other time he tried to catch you after class, you dashed out the door, not wanting to give him a chance to conjure up small talk. But of course, the high school athlete side of him managed to catch up.

“Wait,” he called out as he jogged towards you. “What direction are you going? I’ll walk with you.”

“I’m going to the dining hall,” you deadpanned.

“Great, I’ll go with you,” he started, jumping with each step as he followed. “Nice weather we have today don’t we?” Written on his face was a grin, one that was way too chirpy for it being before noon.

Written on your face was a scowl, one that you had just from being within his proximity. “Just get to the point Jaehyun. What do you want?”

“Nothing. Can’t I just talk to an old friend?”

“We aren’t friends,” you sighed. “Remember? You ditched me for your basketball friends and the popular life? And not to mention, that Seulgi girl.”

“Oh I see, you’re mad,” he noted with a smirk. “You were jealous weren’t you? If you liked me, you could’ve just said so, although you would’ve just been mad at my response anyway.”

“No I did not like you again nor was I jealous of anyone,” you seethed. “You’re just full of yourself aren't you? Ever since you joined that basketball team, you have warped more into a jerk than ever.”

“You’re just full of suppressed anger aren’t you?” Jaehyun scoffed, seeming to be enjoying your scowl.

You huffed. “I wish I never met you,” you said honestly, which caused Jaehyun to lose his smirk.

“That’s harsh don’t you think? All because I changed? You can’t expect me to be that kid you knew in middle school forever.”

“I know that. But that didn’t mean you had to ditch me and make me feel like a loser from your past.”

“I made you feel like that?”

“Yeah, you did. But whatever, it’s in the past, I don’t care anymore.”

“Seems like you still care to me,” he grumbled.

“Well I don’t.”

Jaehyun scoffed.

After a tedious and agonizing walk, you finally arrived at the dining hall. You swiped your student ID then walked towards the plates to get food. You had expected Jaehyun to leave you alone by now, but unfortunately, there he was still trailing behind you.

You sat down at a random table after filling up your plate, and began to chomp down your food.

“Do you normally eat alone?” he asked as he was getting ready to bite his burger.

“Well, it’s not like I have a lot of friends,” you said with a hint of bitterness in your tone. “I normally eat with my roommate but she’s busy right now but even if I did eat alone, is it that big of a deal? People eat alone all the time,” you added defensively. It was college, not high school. People eat alone all the time and yet he still managed to make you feel like a loser just like he did in the past. And all because you were eating by yourself.

Jaehyun nodded and it was obvious he was taken aback by how much you’ve become a different person too. Because compared to the girl you were in high school, you spoke up for yourself now. Jaehyun sighed. “So you and your roommate get along well then?”

“Just stop talking and eat your food,” you sighed as you went on your phone, giving him the same treatment he gave you in high school. You hated it when people were on their phone while you were talking to them and so you wanted him to feel disrespected too.

For the rest of the time you ate, he wouldn't exactly shut up though as he'd continue to ask random questions genuinely as if he was trying to get to know you again. It felt nice. And for a split second, you were starting to think he could actually be your friend again.

14 FEBRUARY 2024 - WEDNESDAY

You woke up this morning feeling even more groggy than usual. Perhaps it was just the Nyquil you took last night to fall asleep but you were sure it was just the fact that it was Valentine’s day. Your least favorite holiday. The vain of your existence.

It was also Jaehyun’s birthday. And as much as you wanted to act like you forgot, you still got him a small gift. Especially since he always bought you coffee these days which made you feel bad because he’d never let you pay him back. So after some thinking, you decided to get him a vinyl of his favorite band, Cigarettes After Sex. You remembered how he would always collect vinyls back in high school and since you saw him listening to this band a lot, you figured you could put your resentment aside for one day.

“Are you excited for today?” Yunjin asked as she caked her face.

“Excited for what? To watch people be all lovey-dovey while I try to get through the day?” You complained some more after changing and brushing your teeth. It was obvious you were not excited for the day at all.

“You’re just bitter you don’t have a boyfriend,” Yunjin sighed after hearing your whole hate speech on a cute holiday. And while that may be true, it didn’t make you hate it any less. “You should also come to the gym with me in the morning, it wakes you right up,” Yunjin insisted as she applied her lipstick. She was currently doing her makeup right now across from you. And while she was a morning person, you were not.

“I’m good with waking up thirty minutes before class. But thanks,” you said as you sprayed your setting spray. You didn’t know why you even bothered to do your makeup when you were just going to class but recently you’ve been feeling motivated.

Especially since there had been a certain ex-friend who came waltzing back into your life who looked as hot as ever.

Although you knew Jaehyun would never like you back, you still wanted to feel pretty, just in case you got lucky and a cute guy decided to ask for your number in front of Jaehyun. Then, you’d rub it in Jaehyun’s face and make him feel like the loser for ditching you back in high school. Yeah, you were still bitter. Perhaps you weren’t as over him as you thought but regardless, you were never going to show it.

On your way to the bio science building where your humanities class was, you passed by a stand where they sold cute Valentine's Day grams, roses, personalized notes, and even heart shaped chocolates. Maybe if you had a partner, this day would be more exciting. But since you were painfully single, your vision was clear enough to see past the capitalistic scam of a holiday.

After a long walk, you finally made it to class and plopped your bag onto the desk.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Jaehyun beamed as he messed up your hair.

“I told you to stop doing that,” you whined. It had only been a second since you've sat down on the chairs and he had already gotten on your nerves.

“You're awfully unpleasant today,” he noted, getting out his notebook and pen.

“Only because you’re here,” you sighed.

His hand flew to his chest. “Ouch, that hurts you know.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you brushed him off, turning on your laptop.

“So,” Jaehyun began, “Any plans today?”

“Well, I’m going to the student center later, then going to another class, then I’m going to take a nap, then I’m going to do some homework, then I’m going to sleep.”

“That’s all?” Jaehyun asked, as if it were that surprising. “Such a waste of Valentine’s Day to me,” he droned.

“Well it’s not like I have someone to spend the day with,” you sighed, slightly bitter. “How about you? You have a date or what?” you asked casually, also just wanting to know if he was seeing anyone.

“Nope.”

“What a surprise, I would’ve thought you had girls lining up to be with you,” you said as you twisted your water bottle open.

“Nah, just you,” he smirked.

You nearly choked on your water. “You wish. And to think I got you a birthday present.” Regardless of what you said, you reached inside your tote bag to hand him the vinyl. You had planned to give it to him after class but you figured you’d give it to him now so you could clear some space in your bag.

"So you do remember my birthday…” Jaehyun didn’t seem too playful anymore, and looked at you rather seriously. And if you had squinted, you could tell he was touched. He took the vinyl and held onto it. “And it’s my favorite album too. Thank you."

“Yeah, well. It’s kind of hard to forget when it’s on Valentine’s Day. And I noticed how you had that one album on repeat so there you go. Happy birthday.” You tried to act nonchalant. "Don't think much of it though. It's just to pay you back for all the coffee you buy me." And while that was true, you also didn't want him to misunderstand this. The last thing you wanted was for him to think you liked him.

You then stared at the clock. It was now ten minutes past the start of class and still no sign of the professor. Then, a ding. You glanced down at your phone to see an email from your professor that class was canceled because his son was sick and he had to take care of him.

A part of you was glad. You were way too tired to pay attention anyways.

As everyone started to leave the auditorium, you did too and began to walk the opposite direction of the student center, on the way back to your dorm.

“Where are you going? I thought you wanted to go to the student center,” he asked as he trailed behind you.

“It’s too early, I’m going for another nap.”

“No you’re not,” he said as he grabbed your hand. “We’re going to have some fun today.” Before you even had a chance to say no, your feet were turned towards the other direction. And you found yourself willingly following him to the student parking lot. “It’s my birthday but all my friends are with their partners," he said on the way.

"Okay? I don't get what that has to do with me."

"Spend my birthday with me.” He’d say and since you were just going to do nothing anyway, you figured having some fun today didn’t sound too bad.

Something Jaehyun was always good at doing was convincing you to do stuff with him/ for him. He even convinced you to skip your afternoon class and you had never skipped. How did he convince you? By taking you to the carnival. And it was the fact that your mom used to take the both of you to the carnival all the time as kids that made it more meaningful to you.

“It’s less busy during the day,” Jaehyun had insisted. “Less lines, and more rides.”

And he was right. You must’ve rode all the rides at least five times.

Before ending the day, he took you to another restaurant he liked. A Vietnamese restaurant nearby.

One question he had in the car that stuck with you was when he was stopped at a red light.

“Do you really wish we never met?" he had asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What?”

“You said that a couple weeks ago. Did you mean it?”

“Oh right… I was just really pissed at you still for kissing me in highschool only for it to be practice for that Seulgi girl. Then you stopped talking to me all together and never invited me to a basketball game even though you knew I loved basketball.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, unable to meet your gaze anymore. He almost looked deflated, a sad look uncharacteristic of him.

“Yeah, it’s fine though, I’m over it… I didn’t mean what I said that day actually. I’m actually thankful I met you. Even though I had bad memories because of you, it’s still a memory of you. And you gave me more good memories than bad ones.” You shrugged.

Jaehyun nodded then turned his attention back to the green light. He had an unreadable expression on his face and didn’t talk much for the rest of the ride to the Vietnamese restaurant.

By the time it was around 4 p.m., you were on your way back to campus. You were all out of energy and quite frankly needed a nap.

You switched between looking at the scenery and Jaehyun. He liked to drive with one hand it seemed and it was so attractive the way he would back out of parking spots or when he was turning. It was exhilarating. And you never wanted the moment to end.

“Like what you see?” he smirked as he turned to you, having just arrived at the student parking lot. And for a split second, you’re embarrassed. Because you got caught staring at his hands.

You scoffed. “You wish.” You weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of anything.

Jaehyun smiled sheepishly at that. “I’m sorry for how I treated you in highschool… I was so dumb back then. All I wanted to do was fit in and look cool.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago,” you sighed, not wanting to dwell on it any longer. “Thanks for taking me out today, it was nice to get off campus for once.”

“Anytime…” he began, “So I got you something,” he said as he reached into the back for his backpack, pulling out a small pink gift bag that you saw in the morning. It was one of the Valentine’s Day gram gift bags. The one with the candies and a rose. “Here,” he smiled as he handed it to you. “I saw people selling them this morning and I thought you might like one. I was going to give it to you earlier but I didn’t know when was a good time,” he explained as he threaded his fingers through his hair.

You couldn’t believe it. You just stared back at him.

“Open it,” he said.

You pulled the rose out and set it on your lap. Inside were lollipops, a heart shaped chocolate box, and a note. You pulled it out.

NOTE: Happy Valentine's Day - Jaehyun

“Wow, so touching,” you deadpanned, seeing how he bought a large Valentine’s day card just to write the same thing the card already said.

“Yeah, I was tired in the morning. I didn’t know what else to write,” he shrugged.

“Well thank you, I love it,” you smiled. Even though it was an innocent and friendly gesture, it meant alot to you.

“Alright,” he said as he turned off his engine. He ended up walking you back to your dorm before parting ways. It made you sad to see him go. And to think, you were dreading the day just this morning.

As you went to sleep that night, you started to realize maybe Valentine’s day wasn’t so bad afterall. That maybe all you needed was to spend the day with someone special.

26 FEBRUARY 2024- MONDAY

Time flew by fast.

Midterms was next week already which meant it was time to start gathering all your notes and memorize them.

It seemed like it was just yesterday that the spring semester started. The fact that it was almost two whole months already was insane. It was also funny how life played out. You never thought you’d see Jaehyun again yet here he was in one of your classes. You never thought he’d become a friend again either yet here he was eating lunch with you and Yunjin.

And while you still bickered with him from time to time, the tension between you and him was slowly melting away. And for the first time, you were sure that you and him could actually start over again. That the past didn’t have to weigh down the promise of the future.

You looked over at him once the professor dismissed the class. “How do you feel about taking an exam in the auditorium? It’s going to be a nightmare handing out all the test papers,” you sighed as you made your way out of the folded seats.

“I feel you, but as long as we sit in the front, we should have enough time. Speaking of the exam, can we study for midterms together?” Jaehyun asked as he trailed beside you after class.

“The library is packed, so no,” you sighed. You hated crowds and that was enough to deter you from most public places during rush time. The morning lecture had just finished and you were on the way to the dining hall. You meant to start eating breakfast again because you were always starving after class but you kept forgetting. Even though Jaehyun had given you his granola bar earlier during class, you were still starving.

“How about my dorm then?” he suggested.

“You really want to study together?”

“Yeah, I have trouble studying and since you’re smart, maybe you could help me? I’ll buy you dinner.” He wiggled his brows.

You stared back at Jaehyun. Usually you would say ‘no’ because you studied more effectively alone but a part of you had warmed up to him. And a free meal didn’t sound too bad either.

“Alright. But I’m choosing where we eat.”

“Deal.”

Later on that day after your 2:00 p.m. class, you made your way to his dorm. Upon entering, you noticed how only one side of his room was decorated with travel pictures and snacks. The other side was empty, no pictures hung up, no laptop, no desk essentials, no personality in sight.

“Where’s your roommate?” you asked.

“My roommate dropped out so I just have the dorm to myself. Sweet isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you said as you examined the pictures on his bulletin board more closely. There were so many scenery photos that looked to be of China, Japan, and Indonesia. “Did you take these pictures?”

Jaehyun made his way behind you. “Yeah, I spent last summer solo traveling all over Asia. Aren’t these places pretty?”

You nodded, too busy examining the pretty landscape photos on the wall. It was only when you turned to face Jaehyun that you realized he was already looking at you. “We should get started,” you suggested, as you began to set up on the empty desk of his nonexistent roommate. (His desk had a gaming PC and food wrappers everywhere and it was clear as day that he was still just as messy as he was back then.)

You ended up doing more than helping him review material for humanities because as it would turn out, he didn’t know how to properly study. So you taught him a study method you used for your other classes too. You noticed that Jaehyun copied the notes exactly from the professor’s presentations. So while he had the material and tried to remember it, he wasn’t learning it. The trick was to rewrite all your notes with your own words in a consecutive sequence while reading it out loud. You normally did this at least five times which Jaehyun found tedious and ridiculous. And although it was tiring, you made him try it until he could recite it from memory. And when your method worked, you made sure to tell him the classic, “I told you so.”

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked, going towards his mini fridge. He had been studying for 4 hours now that he was getting restless. He rubbed his temples as he stared back at his empty fridge. “I have a Gatorade and half a water bottle.”

You chortled, his drink options were so typical of a college student. “I’m good but thanks.”

“So, maybe we should catch up,” Jaehyun said as he sat on his bed.

“On what?” you asked as you sat beside him.

“High school or freshman year, the time we spent apart…”

You raised a brow. What college guy would want to reminisce so suddenly? It was odd but you didn’t verbally comment on it. “Okay…” you began as you stared at the floor, trying to figure out where to begin, “there’s not much to say. Sophomore year kind of sucked but junior year was fun, I joined some clubs and met Mark. He asked me out and we started dating. Then senior year came and he asked me out to prom with his huge poster with a SpiderMan pun. It was so cute.” While talking about your ex, you couldn’t help but smile. Mark was perfect. He was a little awkward but that was his charm. It made him effortlessly funny and cute. “Then I moved here for college and everything has just been kind of stagnant? It’s boring to be honest. I don't really like my major or the social aspects of college. I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of things and I definitely could be having more fun but I don’t know, I just hate it here.”

“Did you love Mark?” Jaehyun asked. You said a lot in the past 5 minutes and yet the only question he had was about Mark. Something about his voice, it was hesitant, it was genuine curiosity.

“Yeah, I did.” You pursed your lips. “He was a great boyfriend.”

“But you guys broke up?”

“We didn’t want to do the whole long distance thing. We’re still friends though. Anyway, how about you? How did highschool go for you after you ghosted me?” you joked (but not really, there was a hint of seriousness in your voice).

“Me and Seulgi broke up junior year,” he said simply as he ran his fingers through his hair. The relationship didn’t even last a year and although you already knew that, you didn’t let him know that.

“What else did you do? Tell me about basketball or your friends since I never got the chance to meet them.” You nudged his side.

“You know why we broke up?” He ignored your words and began to fidget with his rings. “Because she cheated on me... In the end, being popular and liked didn’t matter at all. After high school, we all went our separate ways anyway. I barely talk to any of the guys anymore. All I have now is regret towards the people I actually cared about.”

You wonder what he meant by this. Why he was even telling you this. But instead of asking, you scooted closer to him, and placed a hand over his to comfort him. You never expected for this catching up conversation to end up this serious but here you were. “Well, she never deserved you. It’s honestly her loss.” Because truly, it was. To cheat on a guy like Jaehyun was just straight up idiotic. You’ve known him since you were both kids so despite the attitude he picked up during high school, you knew that the compassionate and kindhearted side of him was always there. You saw it when he was dating her and hell, you even saw it now. Because in the past two months of you getting to know him again, you definitely saw glimpses of the Jaehyun you fell in love with all those years ago.

Jaehyun gave a weak smile. “I didn’t even care that she cheated which is crazy, isn’t it? I was going to break up with her anyway when she cheated, so I didn’t care. I liked her for years and then I finally got with her, and I wasn't even happy. Being with her made me realize how much an emotional connection mattered more in a relationship, not just what that person looked like on the outside.”

“I guess that’s a good lesson to take out of it,” you noted, finding it weird how he was saying all of this.

“I was going to break up with her for you,” he admitted almost hesitantly. Feeling the tensions rise, you retracted your hand as your mouth went dry. “I missed you so much back then but then you started to date that Mark guy and I don’t know, you just looked so happy without me and I hated myself,” he gazed at you so intensely and his face was suddenly even closer towards yours now. And for a split second, you swore he was going to lean in and kiss you. “I hated how I let the idea of being popular get between us. I hated how I pushed you away.”

You felt a lump in your throat. Just why was he going to break up with Seulgi for you? He idolized the ground she walked on back then. You remembered how in love they were as they showed off their PDA in the hallway. And this was near the time Suelgi cheated too. Did he realize he wanted to be friends again or was it something more? You tried to read him but he had a stale expression and you didn’t know how to react with the silence that followed.

But before you could even collect your thoughts, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. “I’m hungry,” he began with a crack in his voice. “Where did you want to eat again?” he asked as he got up from the bed. And it was as if the ‘I was going to break up with Seulgi for you’ thing never came out of his mouth.

For some reason, you felt disappointed. Was that it for this conversation?

You were sure he was going to kiss you too. But maybe you were wrong. Just like how you were in highschool, the first time he kissed you. And maybe everything was just in your head again.

“What do you mean you broke up with Seulgi for me?” you decided to ask further, now standing up.

“It doesn’t matter,” he insisted, putting on his coat. He was being dismissive and cold again. “So you wanted to eat at the student center or the dining hall, or?”

“The student center,” you muttered, in absolute disbelief at how he was brushing off the topic when he was the one that brought it up in the first place. “They have good sandwiches there.” You wanted to ask him more about what he meant by this but instead you pushed it to the back of your head. Things didn’t need to be any more awkward than they already were. Because if there was one thing you knew about Jaehyun, if he didn’t want to talk to you, there was nothing you could do to make him do so.

01 MARCH 2024- FRIDAY

After the review with the TA, you felt a bit dejected. Jaehyun wasn’t there. He didn’t come to class on Wednesday either and you could only assume it was because he was trying to avoid you. At the beginning of the semester, you would beg for days like this but now that you and him were somewhat friends, it made you feel so discarded and empty that Jaehyun would just push you away like that again.

Despite this, you sucked up your pride and tried to text and call him but he still wouldn't answer. It felt like highschool again with the ghosting and how much you yearned for him. You hated how much he was consuming your thoughts again. For weeks he had been by your side and now that he wasn't, you were getting withdrawals.

You thought you had moved on from him. You really did. But then you started to reflect on all the little moments where he would make your heart flutter. Some mornings, he’d buy you a coffee, somehow getting your order right even though you’d never tell him. Maybe he’d saw your order on the coffee cup? You weren’t sure but regardless, it never failed to make you feel looked after. Then on some days, he’d even bring you a snack in class since your stomach was always growling. And food was always the way to your heart.

You tried to ignore the ache in your heart as you studied for the midterms but it was painfully impossible. Your mind just kept drifting off to Jaehyun.

Later that night, your head was still in your textbook. You managed to get some studying done but not much before Yunjin started to go on about a party her acquaintance was throwing. She tried to convince you to go but you were reluctant. It wasn’t until she made a dig at your social life that it had you reconsidering. It was halfway into your life as a university student and you didn’t even know how to have fun. All you did was frequent the student center, dining hall, library, and class before going back to your dorm. Although it wasn’t as depressing as she had made it out to be, she did have a point.

So throwing on a pair of jeans and one of Yunjin’s party tops, you agreed to accompany her to the party.

The moment you stepped inside the huge house, your roommate pulled you towards the kitchen for cheap beer and seltzers. You grabbed a White Claw and took a sip while Yunjin opted for a cheap beer.

“Do you want to do something fun?” Yunjin asked as she looked around. “There is beer pong, cards, body shots, pool… Oh, and there’s spin the bottle. I haven’t played it since middle school.”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, swirling your White Claw around. The idea wasn’t tempting at all. The loud music was annoying enough, and the last thing you wanted was to kiss a stranger because of a dare. Or worse, drink toilet water. Did the dares even get that extreme? You weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to find out.

“Oh come on, let’s have some fun to look back on,” she insisted, dragging you to the area where people gathered in a circle. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

You finished your seltzer before you sat down in the circle to play spin the bottle.

A random guy then started to explain the rules and you needed another seltzer already. Scratch that, you were fine with anything and so you grabbed Yunjin’s cheap beer and drank it too, ignoring her whining. It was your first time playing this game and if you had to kiss a stranger, or even worse, give them a lap dance or something, you needed some liquid courage to take off the edge. Thankfully, it didn’t take much for the cheap alcohol to start loosening you up. Especially since you were a lightweight that forgot to eat before drinking.

Right as the game was about to begin, you saw Jaehyun jog towards the game and your whole body tensed. “I’ll play too,” he said, dabbing up a friend before sitting next to him.

Jaehyun’s eye bags were prominent, his cheeks were flushed, and his hair was messy. He looked visibly more exhausted than the last time you saw him. But still, he managed to look so ethereal under the dim lights. And that was one of the things you hated about him. He was so breathtaking and he didn’t even have to try.

You accidentally made eye contact with him though when you were staring at him and he shot a shy smile at you. Jung Jaehyun confused the hell out of you. Because first he ghosted you and now he was smiling as if everything was fine.

Despite how you felt, you were just glad to see that he was okay. Maybe luck would be on your side today. And maybe he’d finally want to talk.

A couple rounds would go by and surprisingly it was more entertaining then you had expected. The circle was mostly strangers but it was still fun watching people describe their first times, kiss the person to their right, receive lap dances, and french kiss.

That was, until the bottle landed on you.

“Truth or dare?” a guy by the name of Yangyang asked you.

“Dare,” you said after Yunjin kept nudging your side to choose dare.

Yangyang smirked, then looked around the circle until his eyes landed on the boy beside him. “I dare you to go into the closet. Seven minutes in heaven with my brother, Jaehyun.”

You glanced at Jaehyun who seemed just as speechless as you. It was the perfect opportunity to talk to him but at the same time, you were hesitant. Nervous, almost. You thought about backtracking but with how people were whistling and encouraging you to go inside the closet, you couldn’t just back out. And lowkey, a part of you wanted this to happen too.

The next thing you knew, you and Jaehyun were both pushed into a stuffy closet and the door was closed. "Seven minutes on the clock!" Yangyang shouted and you turned on the lights. It has never felt more awkward than this as you stood in front of Jaehyun.

"Hey," Jaehyun whispered softly.

You swallowed thickly. "Hi.”

"I didn't think you liked parties,” he began, and a part of you couldn’t help but take it in the most negative way.

"Why? Because I'm that much of a loser to you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he deadpanned.

“No. You don’t get to tell me that. Not when that’s what you made me feel like all throughout high school and with how you’ve been ignoring me the past week."

“I’m sorry I’ve been MIA, okay? I just needed time to think.”

"Are you sure you're even sorry? Were you even going to talk to me today if we weren't shoved inside this closet right now? You ghosted me all week.”

“I’m sorry." And his voice this time sounded more genuine. "I was just scared of losing you again. I don't want things between us to get messed up because of me."

"You say that but then you ghost me. Make it make sense, Jaehyun.”

"It’s because I wanted to kiss you that night, okay?” He didn’t mean to raise his voice but it just happened. “That was why I needed space. I got scared and I just didn't want to mess things up. Not when we’re finally friends again.” He ran his hand through his hair. “You have no idea how hard it is to be just friends. Every time I'm near you, it drives me crazy and I just... I just don’t want to lose you again." His voice cracked a bit at the end. There was a hint of hesitance in his voice and you could tell this really took a toll on him.

"You won't lose me," you said softly. Maybe it was the alcohol that made your mind cloudy. Or maybe it was just Jaehyun and the way his eyes twinkled. But you couldn’t help yourself from staring down at his lips. They looked so soft and kissable, just like how they did a few days ago. And before your mind could even register what your body was doing, you took a step towards him and wrapped your hands around his neck. "You should've just kissed me then. Because I wanted to that day too."

Jaehyun inhaled sharply. His gaze flickered to your lips then back to your eyes. And before you knew it, his lips crashed onto yours and his hands went to your waist. The kiss was eager and hot, almost as if he had been waiting to kiss you for ages. He backed you up against the wall and kissed you even harder, sucking on your lips.

"We should really talk now though," he said between breaths.

“Just kiss me,” you groaned, hands running down his chest. You should’ve definitely talked first but you could always do that later, right now, you just wanted to taste him again.

Kissing him was magical and intoxicating. You were drunk off the feeling of him and in that moment, nothing else mattered. All you could think about was how soft his lips were and how they would feel on your neck. You drowned in his scent, letting yourself fall deeper into his touch.

He was the first to pull back and when he did, his hands were on your jaw as he mumbled, “I love you.”

And that was when you completely froze. Because never in a hundred years would you think Jaehyun could actually reciprocate your feelings. Sure you guys just kissed, but that was just affection. This? This was more than that. Just those three words alone made you feel like maybe things were not in your head all along and that luck was finally on your side for once. Because he loved you. And he didn’t hesitate. He just said it so casually as if it was just natural for him.

But before you even had the chance to say anything back, the door abruptly opened and you jumped. Everyone in the circle was focused on you and Jaehyun but thankfully nothing was going on at the moment Yangyang had swung the door open.

“Let’s talk outside,” Jaehyun said before grabbing your wrist to lead you both outside towards a more quiet area of the lawn. The moment you both did, he held onto your hands and he looked softly into your eyes. “I meant what I said in there. The moment I saw you in class, I knew it was my chance to make things right again. I really just wanted to become friends again, but along the way, I realized that I still loved you. And I guess I was just scared because we were finally friends again and then you didn’t say anything when I told you I broke up with Seulgi and I just thought maybe I messed things up-”

“Well you didn’t,” you said, cutting him off. Your eyes trailed over the bridge of his nose to the slight downturned curl of his lips. It was obvious how nervous he was to be so vulnerable and you saw yourself in his eyes. “Because I love you too.”

And you didn’t miss how he said he still loved you.

4 MARCH 2024- MONDAY

Your first midterm of the day was over. For an elective course, this class truly didn’t feel like one. So much for wanting an easy class to breeze through. But that much didn’t annoy you anymore. Because without this class, you would've never reconnected with Jaehyun.

Despite it being a demanding class, you managed to finish the exam before the allotted time. And so you waited for Jaehyun on a nearby bench outside of the auditorium. You scrolled on your phone for the most part while waiting and glanced at the door every time it opened. Who knew love could be so consuming? You just saw Jaehyun in the auditorium and yet you missed him already. And then you saw him.

“How did you think you did?” you beamed as he was walking out the door.

“I did well. Thanks to your studying technique,” he grinned as he pulled you in for a hug. “How did you do?”

“I was stuck for ten minutes trying to figure out how to compare a painting to a Greek play but I think I did well.”

“When are you finished with midterms this week? Let’s celebrate then,” he smiled as he pulled back.

“I have my last midterm on Wednesday.”

“Me too,” Jaehyun smiled. “Tell you what. How about we go on our first date that night?”

Your face lit up. “You’re asking me out?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. “So what do you say?”

“I’d love too,” you replied as you gazed lovingly into his eyes. Your heart was swelling so much from how he looked back at you. So eager to be closer, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his.

He was warm. He was intoxicating.

And finally, he was all yours.

#jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #nct angst #nct fluff #jung jaehyun #nct imagines #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #nct x reader #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fic #jaehyun fic #jung jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #jung jaehyun x reader #jaehyun oneshot #jung jaehyun fluff #jung jaehyun angst

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spacecowboyhotch · 5 months

Text

In Plain Sight, Ch 2: A Hoard of Cupids

summary: nathan’s much more insightful about you than he used to be. it’s making you uneasy…and curious.

pairing: nathan bateman x f!reader

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, enemies to lovers (sorta), boss/employee dynamics, pining, nathan trying to be nice but he’s so abrasive lol, pining, mentions of caretaking/sick family members, mentions of emotionally abusive parents, masturbation (m), sub!nathan if you squint

wc: 2,745

AN: back at it with part twoooo. thank you all for the kind words and support on this fic, i didn’t expect it to get the response it did but i’m really excited to give y’all the rest. fair warning that these chapters seem to be getting longer as i write on. happy reading!

in plain sight masterlist | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Nathan gives you space— at first. When you return the next day at 7 a.m. sharp he’s nowhere to be found. Not in the living room or in the kitchen, not on his patio boxing. You assume he’s in his room, probably toying with one of his bots in a distasteful manner. The idea makes you shudder. But is it not easier to come to work with every task he could want you to do placed on his desk, no fuss?

You don’t like Nathan Bateman. He’s a pompous asshole, a know it all, a man who thinks only about his own desires. When he apologized— or rather attempted to— yesterday you thought that maybe you slipped and fallen down the stairs on your way out. By his standards, it was a top tier apology. You’d never once heard him apologize to anyone. On your drive home you had wondered if he had ever apologized in his life. The thought made you giggle, and then you’d turned up the music and forgotten about him until right now.

Sat at your desk, an ungodly stack of things to do. There’s a note sat on top. It’s simple and straightforward, lacking emotion but somehow still has your stomach flipping. It reads:

In meetings all day— let me know if you need anything. Go home early today.

Mr. Bateman

P.S. I’ll spruce up my apologizing skills.

You regard the note cautiously, raising your brow at it before you let yourself laugh a little. Was this a joke or had Nathan Bateman taken some criticism to heart (which is rumored to not exist). You fold the note up, and for some reason slip it into your bag.

The last thing that’s on your mind is that Nathan’s watching you. He sits in the dark at his monitors, leaning in closely. His eyes trace your figure on the screens intensely, watching as you read and read and read. He expects no reaction from you beside maybe throwing it in the trash. But then you laugh, and he watches you store it for safekeeping. A piece of him will go home with you. Nathan never thought he’d be jealous of a piece of paper, not when he seems to have the entire world at his fingertips.

—

He returns to his normal behavior after a week— partially because he thinks you settled in. And partially because…well he begrudgingly can admit to himself, in the comfort of his own mind, that he misses you. When you get to work the next Monday he’s sat on an observation table, examining what looks like a deconstructed robot brain.

You aren’t even able to open your mouth and say good morning before he’s talking to you.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, his eyes appraising you intensely.

You stop in your tracks, regarding him as always, your expression pieced into that calm expression. So you’re back to normal, none of that fire. He expected it but that doesn’t keep him from feeling disappointed.

“Sir?”

“You look really fucking tired. Exhausted,” He tacts on for good measure.

Your spine goes completely rigid, your grip on your bag tightening. You are tired. So very tired. You work shitty hours for incredible money and then go home to take care of your younger sisters and mother. Dealing with Nathan is for them. For your sisters’ schooling, so they won’t feel left out when the other kids have the newest gadget or shoes. For your mother’s ever piling medical bills. It’s important that you don’t jeopardize something so precious.

“Is it affecting my work? Have I done something wrong?” You ask him softly.

“No— that’s not why I’m—“ He stutters before closing his mouth and starting anew. You’ve never seen him like this. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flustered. But knowing Nathan, he’s just never asked a single employee he’s ever had if they’re alright. “I’m your boss, I worry about your well being. That’s what good bosses do.”

“Are you sure?” You ask evenly, eyes still trained on him.

“Am I—“ He stops, eyes wide for a fraction of a second before he bites away his smile. “Are you fucking with me?”

If he was looking at you so intentionally he would miss the way your mouth twitches. “I’m fine, Mr. Bateman. I have a lot of responsibilities, not only here but out there as well.”

“Out there?”

“The real world. Thank you for the concern, sir.”

For the second time, you’ve rendered Nathan speechless. That night he lays in bed thinking of you, like many nights prior. He turns your words over in his head time and time again. The real world. Do you think he doesn’t know what it’s like out there? He wonders how much research you’d done for the job. Nathan used his brain to get here, climbing and climbing. He hadn’t been born into this but his personality lent itself to such a conclusion. Nathan knows what his real world used to look like, though one day he hopes that any of his contraptions can help him forget. He wonders what your real world looks like.

There’s no ring on your finger, but you could have a partner. Kids? Another job? He pays you well enough for that to not be necessary. Maybe you volunteer at a puppy shelter. He could picture it. You in something other than your stuffy work clothes, a smile on your face as you drown in puppy breath and slobber.

He groans, rolling over in bed to plant his face deeply in the pillow. Maybe he can smother himself out of this. Thinking about puppies? He might as well be one, he’s practically lovesick if you have him thinking like this. When would he get used to feeling this way? His usual cynical thoughts feel like they’re being pillaged by a hoard of cupids.

He doesn’t even know if you feel the same. Being better for you is one thing, but what if there’s no payoff? What if he changes for you and you leave him high and dry? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He feels the back of his neck sweating and sits up.

Nathan’s been down this road before, it’s brought him his fortune and an insane work ethic. It’s all brought him sorrow he’ll never be able to escape. Being with his parents feels like a fever dream sometimes and other times he feels 6 again, like he’s drowning in their expectations and insults, trying to measure up. He’d given up eventually, once he realized that they would never love him the way parents should. Why try to do anything anyone wanted but himself when they could still treat him poorly for it?

He’s the way he is from his own indoctrination. He doesn’t know where he would be if he hadn’t convinced himself that he was the only person that truly matters.

But, now there’s you. You, who looks so soft, you that scratches an itch he didn’t even realize he had. You, that he wants to goad and prod and poke until you unleash all of yourself on him. He closes his eyes and lays back, envisioning you right here with him. He feels insane, his heart— his mind, his dick— are taking him through a whirlwind of emotions right now.

He palms himself through his boxers, eyes squeezing shut tighter than before as he tries to narrate. He pictures you in one of his white shirts, it’s fabric nearly see-through with the way it clings to your breasts. He grasps his length through his boxers letting out a heaving sigh. Fuck he wishes this was you.

If there’s anything that Nathan knows how to do its not only being smartest but the most imaginative. He’s been daydreaming for as long as he can remember. Universes with better outcomes— having worth, or loving parents or anyone for that matter. Anyone to be on his side. He imagined codes and synthetic body parts that live and breathe in front of him. He can surely imagine you, breathy and horny in his bed, jerking him off. He doesn’t care if it’s fucked up, or inappropriate. He wants you, and maybe this is the only way he can have you. He slides his boxers down, finally done teasing himself. Licking his palm, he grabs his cock, starts stroking and succumbs to the thought of you.

Another moan bubbles out of his throat. He can see your nipples through his shirt when you straddle him like this. Your thighs are soft against his own and he would reach for your free hand, thread his fingers through your own. Your hands are smaller than his, smooth and supple. And god, you’re stroking him just the way he likes it, the soft wet sound making pleasure shoot through his groin.

You’d overstimulate him wouldn’t you? With that clever mouth barely pulling up a grin, eyes full of fire as you stroke him past the point of pleasure. Would you make him watch? See the way your hands would grow slick and shiny with his cum as you kept pumping and pumping, pushing him to another release. Covering you both in him, until you’re too needy to keep toying with him. Nathan cums just as he’s imagining the feeling of you dragging your bare pussy against his sensitive cock. He whines and keens off the bed, the high singing in his veins. He swears he can almost imagine the way you would moan.

His eyes open, the spell broken. He’s alone, covered in his own spend, chest heaving like he just ran a 10k. He avoids his reflection when he walks into the bathroom to clean up. His loneliness spikes again and he heads to the kitchen, reaching for the first bottle he can find.

—

“You’re late,” He says stiffly, crossing his arms as he watches you cross the space to sit at your desk.

The day after he’d gotten off thinking of you he’d had the slightest difficulty looking at you. It quickly faded, he was too greedy. Too needy, if he’s being honest. He can’t get enough, he doesn’t know if he could ever say it but you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

You’re openly frazzled; your shirt isn’t tucked in, your hair is a little more frizzy than usual and you look as tired as ever. He regrets his biting tone immediately.

Even as you explain you’re moving, setting your to-go mug on the desk, fetching your calendar, booting up your computer. “I know, I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman. My sisters were less than cooperative this morning.”

Nathan turns completely away from the bins he’s been searching through, raising a brow at you in surprise, “Your sisters?”

“Yes— one is 7 the other is 14. The little made getting out of the house…difficult,” You murmur distractedly, eyes trained on your screen.

“Isn’t that your parents’ fucking job?”

His question snaps you back to the present— you hadn’t shared nearly as much as you could’ve. But you’d gone into this job wanting to be nameless and faceless. Memorable only for the quality of the work you do.

You shake your head, daring a quick glance in his direction that you immediately regret when your eyes meet his.“I realized that I’ve shared far too much about my personal life. I should work, Mr. Bateman.”

Nathan immediately understands your deflecting. How many times has he been asked by reporters and interviewers where his family is? Enough times that he’s had his publicist strike the topic from the acceptable lists. That was about all he was good for anyway, Nathan says what he wants when he wants.

He goes back to the task at hand— though now with you here he doesn’t quite remember what that was. A part…some sort of part that he needed. Wires? Screws? A metal plate? He sighs in frustration and leaves without another word.

Your gaze is on the door as soon as it shuts, making sure he’s gone. The tears that you’ve been biting back fall and you bury your face in your hands. Your youngest sister had begged and pleaded for you to stay warm in bed with her this morning. With your mother so sick, you’ve practically raised her yourself these last few years. It makes her needy, which you understand. But what she doesn’t understand is how delicate the balance you found in caring for your entire family is. Middle sister lacks just as much understanding, with heaps of attitude. She doesn’t want to snuggle with you or with younger sister. Mediating this entire situation is what made you late.

It feels like you’re cracking under the pressure but that isn’t an option, is it? As if the universe wants to make it clear, your computer chimes. It’s Nathan, asking you to come to his office.

—

He’d meant to go clear his head in his office and come back to get whatever part he was in need of. But, when he sat in his chair he was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk, presumably crying by the way your shoulders jerked every once and a while.

He’s pinging you before he can think better of it. He watches you read his message. You’re such an anomaly— you sit up immediately, reaching for some tissues and cleaning yourself up as if nothing happened. You even check yourself in the reflection of your computer, fidgeting with your hair, tucking in your shirt once you stand. As soon as you start out of the office he turns off his monitors, not one to be caught snooping around though it’s right and was clear in the contract. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Perhaps you don’t think your anything worth watching…Nathan would like to change that assumption.

“You pinged me, sir?”

How would he play this? He couldn’t admit that he just watched you cry.

“Trying my hand at this apologizing shit again. I— Nathan Bateman— am sorry for being insensitive. Like I said last time, I don’t know your life or you. Alright, how was that?”

“I would say a solid, 5/10, which is a 50% improvement.”

“Fuck me, you’re a tough crowd. What am I docked for? You know I’m all about perfection.”

“There was a lack of originality. And you omitted your middle name.”

It takes everything in Nathan not to giggle. The way the words come out of your mouth are so funny… or maybe he’s just obsessed. It could be both. “My middle name is classified information.”

“Does Wikipedia know that?” You ask, tilting your head in that uncanny way.

Nathan can’t hold in his laugh this time, running a hand over his beard, “You’re funnier than you look.”

Your mouth twitches, and you give him the smallest nod, “Thank you, sir. Is that all?”

He pretends to think about it. “This apology is feeling pretty one-sided to me.”

“I accept your apology, Mr. Bateman, thank you.”

“Accept something else,” He proposes, going out on a limb. Suddenly your stare is too intense, the room is too hot and small. What the fuck is he doing?

“What’s that?” You ask, as soft and sweet as ever.

“Dinner. Tomorrow,” He says simply.

“With you?”

Nathan ignores the twinge in his heart— your tone barely changed. If he wasn’t with you every single day, studying you, he wouldn’t even have noticed.

“I can invite the droids if you want. They’ll just stare at us while we eat.”

Your hand tightens around your planner. Dinner with Nathan…choosing to be around him? It seemed like as of late he was trying to be…more palatable. This could be an act of good faith. But, you have your sisters and mother to think about. You’ve given her nurse enough overtime hours in the last few weeks.

“Without getting too personal, I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it sir, I have to get home to my sisters as soon as possible.”

Yes, your family, that you never talk about. He could accommodate, what’s he the fucking boss for if he can’t?

“We’ll do it early.”

You sway a little as you think about this— that’s new, he thinks to himself, filing that information away for later.

“You’ve already got me apologizing, I can’t add saying please to the list of acceptable behaviors. I’ll lose my fucking edge.”

“How early?”

“3:30.”

“Alright, then, sir.”

nathan taglist: @missdictatorme, @hon3yboy, @runa-falls, @campingwiththecharmings, @toracainz, @steven-grants-world, @clemdango04, @jdbxws, @crispysublimecupcake, @sub-aro, @faretheeoscar, @cupidysm, @whentheskyispinkandabitblue , @nova-ivy541, @sparkypantelones, @veritable-trash, @mangoslushcrush, @kotaropuppy

#nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman x f!reader #nathan bateman x fem!reader #nathan bateman #nathan bateman fanfiction #ex machina fanfiction #in plain sight #arson writes #not sfw

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lizzaneia-elizalde · 4 months

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College au! Rich, popular senior who is actually emotionless but uses a faux mask to hide the fact and does favors left and right, not because he's kind and considerate but because he doesn't see anyone else worth engaging with and the only way the get rid of them is through giving them what they want, like pesky leeches. Reader however saw right through his mask into his eyes and that surprised him. Someone other than his father knows?! Should he get rid of her? But.. oh? she wants something from him? A favour? How interesting..

-🌼

Yandere! Male! College student x Blockmate! Fem! Reader

Got a bit of mental exercise on this one, since what could the favor be? Hmm... Got a bit too nsfw though, so be warned. (BTW, is this spicy enough? I'm practicing lol)

Also, I decided to do some tweaks on our other yanderes, so expect relatives amongst yanderes now!

Yandere! College Student name: Alpheus

It was the third of January now, a lot of students have come back to the University in order to resume their classes. Some got blessed and has their classes to be continued by next monday, but not for this specific college.

"Ugh..." A person bemoaned to their friend. "What the hell is wrong with our Dean? Setting our return so early-- Does she have no sympathy?"

"You said it." Another person piped up. "We may be architecture students, but we're not machines!"

"Our course is hard enough without holidays bro. I just wish she let us enjoy the new years..."

"Don't you think so, Alpheus?"

Alpheus, a man who's soft and gentle. Prince-like, and someone you could rely on. He had many... Friends... As what other people see themselves when asking what their relationship with him is.

Too bad it's one sided though.

Alpheus hummed, his blank eyes that none of these guys noticed looked up to the sky.

"Well, doesn't it make sense? We finished our first semester 1st day of December. I think it's just fair for us to go back by the 3rd of January." Alpheus' almost ghost like quality of voice came out of his soft pink lips.

The friends, who were just complaining earlier, shut up from the logic he gave.

"Uh... I guess you're right."

"Well, it is a one month vacation..."

"Yeah, we got the better end of the stick."

"Other Unis only gave two weeks as vacation."

Alpheus gave a small smile to them as they murmured their suddenly new opinion due to his quips.

"This is exhausting..."

Nobody saw through his mask, the way he held so much indignant boredom he had in his eyes when they go up to him and talk. Nobody felt the way he seems so distant and plastic-y.

Maybe he got this acting skills from his brother, Ignatius.

Both of them are the opposite ends of the bar. Ignatius as the boisterous, annoying, attention seeking actor, and Alpheus, the hide-behind-a-facade, self-important, holier-than-though, plastic friend.

Well, that's what their parents describe them anyways. Too much of the old mindset gets you to be a pair of judgmental fuckers who think that mental conditions are not real, so they didn't get diagnosed if it's something to do with their psychology.

Alpheus grew up mostly being overshadowed by his brother, but is honestly shining more when it comes to academics. Making the attention between them fairly equal.

Like how their parents describe them, Ignatius is talented, while Alpheus is a genius.

That didn't make them less terrified on Alpheus though.

When he was a child especially, he looks so dead inside and unreadable that it freaked them out. Even contemplating on calling the exorcist.

Alas, they didn't at the risk of their family reputation to fall off.

Only Ignatius got him.

When Alpheus got older, he met more people who got freaked out by how apathetic and emotionless he is.

But, with the help of his brother, he learned how to put up a mask. Albeit just the barest of minimum, people got fooled somehow.

That, and Alpheus just goes with the flow most of the time.

Just to make them shut up, he always ends up doing favors and helps the people who ask for him to do something for them.

"People... Such a bother..."

At least they're tools for him to blend in seamlessly...

"By the way, Alpheus, is your mansion available on Sunday?"

Here they go again...

It's a never ending cycle for him.

"Why? Do you want to do a party there?" He asks gently, another soft smile on his face that made that person flustered.

"U-uh yes! I mean, the last pool party we did there was crazy."

It was crazy cuz all of you thrashed my damn mansion.

It's somehow of a blessing that his family is rich. He got to move out to a new place, his brother did too, and funded all of their lavish tastes. Even if it was a way to make them shut up and not interact with their parents, it gave them freedom to do the things they want.

"Why not? We need something to headstart us for the second semester anyways." And with a princely smile, he agreed to his friend's favor that made his friend group hoot and holler.

And as Alpheus keeps a steady smile yet an annoyed glare, he wishes for something to happen in that party to shut them up.

Music blazing, party raving, drinks boozing.

It's the party of the month for the students in the University Alpheus attended.

People cannonballing in the pool, couples and strangers making out (maybe more), stragglers drinking their way to being blackout...

And the owner of the mansion?

Alpheus sits down cross legged on the couch, being surrounded by his friends. The music is pounding against his ears and worsening his headache. But he also can't sleep in his room because he knows that no matter how thick his walls are, the music will still seep into his bedroom.

He takes a sip of the bourbon on his hand, his deep eyes scanning the crowd and the mess they made.

He almost groaned. This is gonna take a while to clean.

Sure, he'll hire people to clean, but his parents' will question where the money will go to, and they will nag to him about being upright and being a rebel and throwing parties and being a disgrace and being so content being a genius that he thinks he can just throw his parents' reputation to the mud--

Just thinking about it is making him exhausted.

He watched as the woman that latched onto his side trailed her finger on his exposed chest from unbuttoning his dress shirt. She was saying something flirtatious but honestly, he doesn't care.

The headache is becoming unbearable.

"Excuse me, people. I just need to get more." Alpheus gently laid off the woman before shaking the glass on his hand, the ice clinking around.

They all nodded with a smile before Alpheus went inside.

There are some people here. Singing karaoke, some playing beer pong... And others making out and grinding.

He got to the comfort room on the corner of the first floor and sighed, splashing water on his face as he let the water trickle down his throat.

He dropped his facade, staring at himself with the dead expression that people found chilling.

Sometimes, he just needs a breather.

And that breather is his home. But now, a party is going on and he needed a bit of break sometimes.

Hey, he's emotionless, not a robot that doesn't get exhausted.

Alpheus splashed water on his face once more before he heard the door to the toilet open.

A woman.

He remembers you. A classmate, one of the few people who doesn't talk to him and ask favors, so he automatically has a positive outlook on you. As positive a person can feel for being emotionless.

He nods, you didn't.

"Y/N, right?" He asks, quickly slipping on the facade. He smiled at you, donning the princely mask once more.

You weren't buying it though.

"Alpheus. What's up with you and putting up a front?"

His forearm bulged, the grip on the counter sink tightened as the veins pulsed across his arm.

Ah, he forgot. You have this inquisitive, curious, yet hostile look on your face whenever he catches you staring at him.

"What do you mean by that?" He smiled once more.

"You know what I mean."

He cleared his throat, dropping the act and turning towards you, not facing the mirror anymore.

"Look here, Y/N. It just so happens that I get tired sometimes." He shrugs. "Social battery and that."

"Bullshit." You spat out. "You don't even feel anything. You think I won't know? It's so obvious."

A dull feeling of irritation welled up inside of him. Uncommon, but not that new.

"Really now? So what?" Alpheus scoffs and crosses his arms. "What will you do? Expose me?"

His eyes sharpened a bit.

Should I get rid of her?

"No. I need a favor also." You smiled. He sighed.

"Shoot."

"Be my pretend boyfriend."

Alpheus blinked, tilting his head in wonder.

"Huh. That's new. And what do you need me for? Why do I need to do that?" He softly chuckles, thinking of reasons why. "Are you attracted to me and are finding a reason to get close to me? Possibly make me fall for you?"

He got close to you, bending a bit to stare at your eyes.

Were your eyes always this shiny? Such a juxtaposition of his dull, dead ones.

"Maybe you have this sick fantasy in your head that you can fix me." He chuckled again.

"No. That's weird." You scoffed and swatted him away. "Ex boyfriend problem. A stalker, won't stop following me around."

He hummed in contentment. He did remember seeing a man hovering around your angered/scared face.

"That I can believe. But why me, cheri?" He asked, intrigued by your favor. "There's a lot of people, and it's kinda suspicious if we suddenly became an item."

You took a deep breath, shaking your hands.

"Don't get mad, but I sprinkled some hints that I was interested in you. Making fake convos of us..." You flushed red and fished your phone out of your pocket and showing him the convos.

The pfp is the same, so does the name, but the way he types isn't the same. Clearly fake.

"I know, creepy, but..." You gripped your hand in awkwardness. "But the other guys aren't really the best options. He got them on a hold like he's friends with them. And you're the only one available that's not close to him. I also don't know other people outside our block."

Your grip tightened. "So help me, please?"

A man in a leather jacket seethed, not being able to find you.

"Where are you, Y/N!" He grumbled under his breath.

He lost you an hour ago, and he's already on his end's wits.

Especially you're in this mansion. Alpheus' mansion.

Sure, he didn't believe that you and Alpheus were a thing. It was impossible! There's evidences, but he doesn't want to believe it.

He gritted his teeth and opened another door but to only two people fucking.

"God, get a room!" He growled out before being hit by a pillow, being yelled at that 'this is a room!'

Slamming the door closed, he got to the corner where there is a door beside an end table with an expensive flower vase on top.

He gripped the knob and swung it open, and his eyes widened.

"Alpheus..."

"Cheri, just like that..."

You and Alpheus, making out. With you sitting on the counter as your crotches grinding against each other in a friction filled frenzy. With Alpheus' large hands and fingers gripping your soft skin on your waist, leaving red marks trailing across. Your legs, wrapped around Alpheus' waist, had the dress riddled up to your chest area, exposing your tasteful underwear.

Alpheus' lips trailed across your neck, opening slightly to lick the base before biting down. It made you throw your head back with a whimper so salacious that it made Alpheus buck into you once more.

The man felt cold and hot at the same time.

It was real?

You can't even hear that your ex has swung the door open. Drunk on the "pretend" makeout' pleasure that it gave you. You just knew he's in the house, but doesn't know when he'll find you.

So, Alpheus just made you sit on the counter and started kissing you gently just in case.

Who knew it would become a full, blown out session that left you breathless and Alpheus suddenly obsessed with this new feeling?

Alpheus' dead eyes was flashing with hunger and desire in them as he glared at your ex boyfriend.

And without breaking any eye contact, he gripped your waist more, with his hips grinding harder and his teeth sinking more to your skin, marking you his.

Saliva dripped from his lips to your skin, making it glisten under the dim light.

And with a smirk, Alpheus successfully drove out your ex.

Now, he could just stop.

But what's the fun in that?

For the first time, he's feeling such pleasure from you, and your body.

You felt divine in his hold, making it impossible to separate himself from your body as he gripped your thigh and carrying you up, pushing your back against the wall to continue making out, and maybe even more.

He can blame it on the alcohol, but he knows damn well it's not.

He felt... Happy for the first time. The overwhelming euphoria from this new encounter and discovering new feelings were making him drunk. And he's drinking it whole.

It's almost selfish on how he doesn't want to let go of you.

And, before he knew it, the seed has planted inside of him.

By the next days, he finds himself unable to separate from you as you continued to introduce new emotions inside of him.

He will wish to shackle you to him, and maybe do the same as his brother and kidnap his significant other.

He will feel overtly jealous for the first time, seeing you interact with his other male classmates. Especially that architecture is a male dominant field.

He will get angry, rage, and become crazy from the sudden influx of emotions running inside of him.

But that's in the future.

And as he watches you writhe from his hold as his fingers descended down under your panties, he knew that he would do anything to keep this feeling from fading.

#lizzaneiaelizalde #yandere writing #yandere imagines #yandere boyfriend #yandere male #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic

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mediumgayitalian · 2 months

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(very late im so sorry) fic rec friday 7

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

i am indeed aware it is monday. i am a fool who is Bad at planning. my bad.

A Place To Start by @wintersky101

Nico can speak English, Italian, Latin and Ancient Greek. Unfortunately, he can only read and write in two of the four, and even more unfortunately, English isn’t one of those.

paul blofis & nico isn't something i knew i needed but i LOVE. like lets maybe get this kid a real grownup, huh? also i think it's really funny that nico is older than paul technically. like i imagine paul, who is a history nerd, would be spending half their tutoring sessions grilling nico about the 40s lol

2. Transitioning to Manhood by @nicostolemybones

Will gets a box from his mom of childhood memories.

i have quotes from this fic framed. it is deeply moving, especially that one paragraph about conditional love....like yeah it got to me. i wept about the conditional love paragraph. if you are ready for some catharsis this is indeed the fic for you

3. Doctor solace to the rescue by Phantomxlegend

Will idolized Beckendorf when he was younger, and who wouldn’t pass up on a chance to heal your idol and prove that you could be just as strong?

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES ON THE FUCKING FLOOR......WEEPING AND CRYING AND CLUTCHING THE BLUE FUCKING CURTAINS. WHY. WHY. CLAWING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND SOBBING INTO MY HANDS. no exaggeration when i say i never fully recovered from this one. baby will and quiet nobel beckendorf. beckendorf i love you. beckendorf you deserved a thousand times more than what you got. i can't feel my chest

4. Silver Rings by @buoyantsaturn

Barely a second later, he said, “What’s that?” “What’s what?” Will said back to him, not taking his eyes off the gash. “That ring.” Will froze, eyes widening. “Isn’t that Nico’s?

secret relationship my EVERYTHING. makes me buckshit feral every time its so FUN. cj ur iconic and you have been THEEE backbone of this fandom for years. i love this one particularly bc the whole thing with will glowing will never not be funny shdhfdjsnfkf

5. A Little More in the Closet Than Out of it by @buoyantsaturn

The only thing they could do to keep Harley in the infirmary so they could keep him monitored was to keep him entertained, and somehow, Will had gotten himself roped into a game of hide and seek.

giggle was giggled at the title. i am easily entertained. but the fic was fun and sweet; harley is the camp's darling as is his right. nico is such a dweepy dork loser hes so real i love him

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

#would love to say that this wont happen again but it will #im chronically bad at time management #ha puns #but yeah its never going away #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost #solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #nico di angelo/will solace #established solangelo #will solace angst #trans will solace

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 26 days

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AITA for pretending to be sick in order to skip school even though I'm making my parents worried?

(I'm submitting this on a Monday. fuck Mondays btw.)

I (15M) am the only child of both of my parents (42F, 44M) and even though I love them and they love me, I feel like they don't really get me. since I was like 12 or so I started getting bullied by my classmates bc, essentially, I have "childish" interests (I like Adventure Time and video-games. my classmates need to realize we're technically still kids, but nooo they're not teenagers they're "Young Adults" and "Too Cool" to like anything remotely childish) and whenever I've tried to tell my parents that I'm experiencing bullying, they somehow end up thinking that I just don't want to go to school bc I'm lazy. I know being a parent is probably not easy but. what the fuck.

from my own experience I've noticed male and female bullies use different methods - guys hit me and use brute force against me while girls say hurtful things to me. one of the guys who bullies me, let's call him DH which stands for Dickhead (15M), is also extremely popular for some reason. he's very tall, very strong and he always uses that against me (I'm almost as tall as DH but I'm just lanky). he bullies anyone who is "beneath him" lol everybody bow down to the king of the fucking world.

today DH was making a scene at recess bc his girlfriend (15F) was wearing a skirt that was too short according to him. he was so mad at her that people were starting to form a circle around them. since DH is so popular people really respect his gf but they clearly respect him more bc today no one tried to help her. I don't respect DH, because he's a dickhead, so I stepped in and said something like "c'mon man what the hell, there's no need to humiliate your girlfriend like this, leave her alone". DH was pissed. he heatedly said that just because no girl will ever want to date me, that doesn't give me the right to tell other guys how to handle their relationships and their girlfriends. he got rlly mad and clearly he wanted to hit me so I ran like hell and proceeded to hide from him for the rest of recess. I felt like a little bitch tbh. DH always makes me feel like a little bitch.

before classes started again his gf found me and talked to me for like 5 minutes. she said I don't know DH like she does and that he's actually a really good boyfriend (HA, sure) and that I would be more liked and popular if I wanted to be, but it's "not normal" that I watch Adventure Time at 15. she also told me that DH intends to beat the shit out of me tomorrow. he said he'll "kill me" and ngl he has the physical strength to do so. this made me shit my fucking pants so today as soon as I got home I decided to pretend I was sick since I can be pretty good at acting. I told my parents I had a headache, I started fake-coughing, I said I felt really tired. I even managed to look pale on purpose by thinking of how fucking scared I was of DH and what he might do to me, and I raised the temperature of the thermometer by rubbing it against the fabric of my sweatshirt.

apparently I was so convincing that my parents agreed to let me skip class tomorrow and they even said I can skip it for the rest of the week if I don't improve (tbh I think I won't "improve" if you know what I mean) and I could see they were worried. this is the reason why I feel like an asshole. at the end of the day I'm making my parents worried, I'm lying about my health and I feel kinda guilty. but I'm too scared, and if I tell them the truth they'll just tell me to "man up" or they'll think once again that I'm just too lazy to want to attend school.

anyway. Adventure Time rocks 🤘🏻

#aita #am i the asshole

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pandorasfavorite · 25 days

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heyyyy sooo I’ve been thinking about this forever as my pre fall asleep routine, I was gonna make it into my own full blown fan fic on Wattpad but I’ve never wrote before and I’m kinda lazy lol buttt I was wondering could you do a imagine where the reader is a female and in the shield (imagine the shield and judgement day are around at the same time) and anyways they are fighting the judgement day and they hate each other but the reader sees dom take a really hard blow and runs to check on him in the middle of the match but it’s a trick and dom pins her and wins , then later that night when they are in their locker rooms Roman Seth and dean are all fighting and mad at the reader and yelling at her , and like she leaves the locker room upset and dom sees and goes to apologize and it’s like angst but she forgives him at the end plzzzzz <333 I love love love ur writing

The Shield - The Mistake

AN: I'm working two jobs so posts will be slow. pls, bear with me through these hard times frl.

You loved your life, your group, the outfits, the vibe, and everything presented in front of you. Most of all you loved Seth, Roman, and Dean; they were family from the moment you joined the group. Though when you joined the group they were apprehensive, to say the least, ultimately they all admitted it was the best decision they've made collectively. But all of you had a swore hatred towards the Judmentday. They were too loud; too much; and too fucking cocky in your opinion. Now the boys were completely thorough in their dislike; you on the other hand...had a childlike crush on Dominik Mysterio.

It made no sense to you honestly, he was just as much of a dick as the rest of the group, but he seemed kind underneath it all. Like maybe it wasn't in his nature to be so disrespectful. But Monday night proved you wrong.

It was destined to be a long match, one where the groups would go act each other until everyone was worn out and restless. Despite how good The Judgement Day was, you had the intention to win. In fact, you had no doubt that you would win. So when you and Seth were inside the ring together, bouncing around, Dominik and Damian were trying to find the best way to stop you both from hitting them. Damian took a kick; from you; to the chest and stumbled back for a moment. But Dominik was slammed directly onto his back and he was completely winded. Dominik had gritted his teeth and held his chest, just barely rolling to the side to cover himself. It looked so real and the concern you felt only made the facade more convincing.

You ignored everything around you like an idiot; you had forgotten the nature of, The Judgement Day. You skidded down on your knees beside Dominik, and you grabbed him by the arm to roll him over. The second you did his eyes flashed open and his hand went against your shoulder just as fast. He pushed you down and pinned you with no problems; you weren't in pain. More so just paralyzed in shock. At the 3rd count and ring of the bell, Dominik shot up with a victorious smile and went to celebrate with his group. While you sat up and smacked the ring; now you were pissed. Anything you felt for Dominik had disappeared at his stupid stupid trick.

You looked up to exactly what you expected, Roman glaring, Dean running his hands down his face in disappointment, and Seth shaking his head.

--------------------------------

"You have to be fucking kidding me", Dean just about snarled at you. You open your mouth to speak but Seth cuts you off before you even begin, "What happened?". Your mouth opens again only to be interrupted once again, "I think it's pretty clear, she has the hots for that dick" Dean scoffs. You glare at him, "He is not a dick" you mumble. Somehow you found yourself defending him after what he had done. "Really? Then what just happened out there?!", Roman says while making intense eye contact with you. You felt like you were in some kind of intervention at the moment. They all looked at you; waiting for you to say something; anything.

"I don't know", you mumbled and looked at the floor like a coward. You had already felt bad for causing the match, but of course, this hurt worse than that and 100 injuries combined. "We needed you and you go check on the enemy!", Dean has begun yelling now and took a step closer to make it clear he was talking to you. Roman puts his hand out across Dean's chest and shakes his head much like before. You snap your head up to look at Dean and the burning of tears has just started, "He's not the enemy!!", you yell back at him.

"He is!", Dean snarls. You cross your arms and argue back, "He's not". Seth finally cuts in, "But The Judgment Day is?" he questions. You deflate and puff out your cheeks; "That's different", your back to mumbling. "It's not" Roman cuts in and it finally seems like that's all they had left to say. Dean scoffs and just walks away, Roman follows after him without a glance. But Seth pats you on the shoulder with a disappointed look before walking the same. You bang your hand on the wall and curse at yourself for fucking up so badly.

That loss will be the talk of the month, The Shield has never lost to The Judgment Day; at least not until tonight. You walked out of the locker room but your mind felt as heavy as your steps. You had to sit down, but when you walked out and slouched on the wall beside the locker room. You saw the same Dominik Mysterio sitting on the floor, on the other side of the wall, right in front of you. You looked at him with glossy eyes and longing. Even after thinking all the feelings you held for him were lost, not only did your heart beat faster but you had defended him minutes prior. Dominik bit his lip and scratched his eyebrow, "I heard what all you said in there" he commented.

Your lip curled in anger, "Yea? Then you should've heard how much shit you got me into" you spat and pulled your knees closer to your chest. Dominik had only nodded, but he looked up at you front behind his wispy hair; "I didn't ask you to check on me". You roll your eyes like your intention was obvious, "It was the right thing to do" you said quickly. "That's not it", Dominik said right after you.

The hallway was vacant and the space between you both was so vast. You felt as if you could drift away from him at any moment. You also felt like the tears in your eyes had a long time from drying. Though for some reason Dominik made it feel a little better.

From Dominik's point of view, he sees a woman struggling with the mistake of helping an asshole, also known as himself. He felt so bad, and The Judgement Day could never know he was apologizing or a win. For you, nearly everything felt worth it.

Your eyebrows pull in and you squint at him, "What?". "You didn't check on Damian when he fell to the floor at the beginning, so that's not why", he had analyzed your every movement. You clenched your jaw; looked at him and then back down at your lap, "I have no clue what you're talking about". Dominik bit the inside of his cheek and nodded; it felt like you were lying to him, but he had no proof of that at the end of the day. "Well I wanted to say sorry anyways", he muttered; almost like apologizing was something he rarely did. Maybe that was so.

You heard his apology and your lips twitched into a smile while you were still looking down, "You are?". Dominik nodded but you couldn't see, so he reiterated; "That's what I said". And finally, as if it was a miracle you looked up once again, "Smart ass". He laughs with a big smile that you only had the pleasure of seeing on the big screen. You click your tongue at him and lay your chin on your knees, "So you feel bad huh?", you pester him. Dominik snorts and rolls his eyes, running a hand through his hair, "Just a bit...how can I make it up to you", he says the last bit with hesitance. He has underlying intentions that he couldn't share yet. "What do you have in mind?"

"How about dinner, Hermosa"

#dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio x you #dom dom #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio fluff #dominik mysterio #dominik my bbg #wwe

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spookykoolkat · 8 months

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the red j.m. | chapter five

CHAPTER FIVE: FORFEIT

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter |

pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: joel has been acting colder than usual towards you since your encounter in his living room, and when it turns out that tommy paired you up with joel for a last minute adventure on your first day of patrol rounds, you were infuriated.

warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, x-rated descriptions, crude language, mean!joel, mean!reader, mentions of past su*cide attempt, brief mentions of breeding, dacryphilia, cockwarming, p in v, oral. descriptions of sex acts, explicit. MDNI!!! minors r not welcome on my page

wc: 7.6k

na: the smut will be coming soon i promise. lioterally next chapter. I TOLD YOU IT WAS SLOW BURN! but omg i think this is one of my fav chapters lol

MONDAY DECEMBER 23RD, 2024

YOU

the weekend was dreadful. naively, you believed somehow it was a miracle that joel gave you the attention he did on saturday night. no, you just realized it was something he strongly regretted. sunday morning, he woke up without a sound and left as swiftly as he could.

he was avoiding you.

it was so bizzare to you. everything happened so fast and life became as domesticated as it could be for you in this world. you were living with a man and a girl, and now there’s an odd sexual tension between the two of you that you were possibly misreading. it was inevitable, you were deathly attracted to this man. joel miller.

it’s like somehow being around him and ellie almost healed a part of yourself, you didn’t know what but you felt you could be yourself again. honestly, being in jackson sort of healed a part of you. you were finally getting the chance of finding yourself, finally figuring out what being you meant and who you are, and it was because you were here in jackson. because you actually had two people in your life that you could actually try to begin to trust.

but that doesn’t mean he never pissed you off. and it doesn’t mean that he was never an asshole.

it was four thirty in the morning when he slammed the door shut on his way out, and forced you to get up and grab all your shit for your first patrol shift. it was supposed to be from six in the morning to eleven in the morning, giving you the first shift of the day. you noticed joel had been taking nights with tommy occasionally, leaving at six in the evening and coming back close to one in the morning.

he chose to be on the lookout longer, searching longer, doing more than he needed. he was thorough, and for that you respected him. besides his hostile attitude, he was a natural hunter, killer, forager. of course, you could only assume. you hadn’t seen him in action the way ellie and tommy have.

tommy told you to meet him at his house on your first day, and you complied. you were expecting to see tyler standing with tommy outside of his house when you walked up, but this man was not tyler. the thick coat he wore would’ve made it impossible to figure out who it was, had you not seen that coat before. but it was in fact the coat you brought home for him after a shift down at the local buy and trade shop, something you picked up because it was in his size and you knew with the torn hoodies and sweaters he had, none would suffice to keep him safe when he’s out in the cold.

this was the man that made you clench your thighs when he was angry with you, the man who saw you as vulnerable as you were that night, the man who spoke nothing but dirty things in your ear then left you high and dry, ignoring you even as your footsteps crunch in the snow.

“where’s tyler?” you said loudly over the heavy winds and snow, getting closer to the broad figure. it was the man you’ve thought about since saturday night, the man that ignored you even now.

“me and maria decided you needed an expert ‘stead of a rookie, but since maria is pregnant i wanted to stay, so i put ya with the second best of jackson,” he said clamping down on his brother’s shoulder, “my big brother,” his smile was way too big for this early in the morning, and you internally rolled your eyes.

“i don’t need an expert, i’ve been out there by myself for years. i can handle myself,” you spit sourly. even joel felt it slash through him a bit, the pure disgust on your voice wasn’t easy to fake and a part of him felt bad. but he knew what he was doing and why he was doing it.

tommy looked between you two, facing opposite from each other. “just precaution, don’t need ya gettin’ lost.” you could tell tommy felt some sort of sympathy for you, understanding how cruel his brother could truly be.

you scoffed. maybe tommy did feel bad for you, but if he did you wished he would keep the faces he makes to himself. you didn’t need pity. you needed to not be stuck with joel for a couple of hours.

just great. “i need y’all to search this abandoned town a few cities back, ain’t that far, maybe two hundred, two fifty miles west. figure’s it’d be better takin’ the horses,” so not a couple of hours.

tommy practically gives the two of you a list, a list of things that he and maria needed, and places to search for the infected.

“we need soap, and medical shit like gloves, anythin’ works,” he said and you nodded. this seemed a little less like patrolling and more doing duties for him. maybe it was both, but you were a little disappointed.

“baby steps, a’right?” tommy said, sensing the disappointment on your face and rubbing your arm to warm you up a bit.

“joel’s got you,”

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oh it was torture. you and joel would be on this mission for two days. this wasn’t patrol, this was a favor. this was a job taken on by those who weren’t fighters, but could protect themselves. the people who scavenged abandoned towns, homes, cities near jackson to see if it’s worth expanding or if there’s anything they would take. but this wasn’t what you wanted to do, you didn’t want the soft version of what joel did.

whether you wanted to or not, you worried that he didn’t look at you as capable since the first time he met you you were lying face down in blood soaked snow that formed into a ring around your body. not only that, but when you finally awoke, you tried to take your own life in front of him. you couldn’t blame him if he thought that way, it just made you more weary about your strength and if he would be right to think that way.

you were desperate to prove yourself to him, for no particular reason. you just wanted him to see that you didn’t need him like he thought you did.

“where are we gonna sleep?” you asked as the click clack of the horses began to pick up. you rode right next to him, following his lead with the map.

“wherever we can,” he muttered, unhappily might you add.

“i mean, what are we doing joel? this is not me patrolling,” you argued to yourself, and he sighed loudly as he looked back down at the map.

“no, it ain’t. but it’s a taste. stop tryin’ to kill yourself,” he spit and you closed your mouth quickly. you were actually a little offended. he actually got you to shut up, and it felt like shit.

because he was right. you jumped into everything so fast, getting yourself hurt when you told yourself it’d never happen. so, you just shut up and listened to him when he told you where to go. you didn’t want to fight with him because really, you couldn’t take it. you’d want him to take you with the fury in his eyes. maybe you were mentally deranged for being so distracted by him lately, figuring out that everything about him sends you into a frenzy. this was ridiculous, you were ridiculous.

you know it’s wrong. but joel made you feel something that nobody else has. he challenged you. he wanted you to snap back at him and bark your insults at him. he may not admit it, but he liked that you had something to say to everything. your attraction was only growing for him, and you were ashamed of it. the man won’t even look at you and you’re ready to open your legs from one glance?

the sun was rising at this point, passing empty farms and abandoned shacks while joel inspected the map tommy gave him. he was frustrated, you could clearly tell through his grunts and swear words that he spilled. so far, it’s been clean. no infected, no people, nothing but emptiness and nature covered in snow. your gun was still in your hand, ready to aim and shoot but for now you just watched joel.

he refused to ask for your help because he felt like he was lost. maybe it was his sight, but he truly thought that he mistook a walking trail for a road, derailing the two of you. he was a proud man, and was embarrassed to ask help from a twenty something year old.

he refused to be the one needing help on this globetrotting the two of you did.

“joel?” you talked for the first time in two hours, and he shot you a glance over his shoulder, you riding a little behind him now.

“what?” he grumbled, and you sped up to catch up to him. his heart picked up when he heard you so close.

“are we lost?”

it was hard for him to be angry with you when your voice fell so soft for him. he noticed the way you spoke to people you didn’t like, or didn’t care for. bored, short and cold. just like him. but even when you didn’t notice, he heard the gentle tone you used with him. maybe it’s because you’re a live fucking wire who kills everyone you ever loved and she knows you’ll blow up on her too.

“no, just-” he stalled and you followed as he flipped the map around, acting like that will solve the issue. you quickly reach over to snatch the map from him, shaking your head and not listening to his noise when you start reading the lines.

“just stop,” you said and halted your movements. you moved the map around and found your location now, and the circled location on the paper. joel watched you with frustration and embarrassment, but you wouldn’t know. you weren’t the best at picking up social cues.

“just go straight. it should take you to a road, and turn right then.” you answered, shoving the paper back into his hands and continuing your journey. you waited for him to ride off first so you could trail a little bit behind him, and he did, not giving you a second glance.

it was one hour, then it was two, and then it was three. three turned to five, and finally a break was taken. joel wanted to go as much as he could before he needed a rest, to take a piss, relax his joints. you, on the other hand, wanted to keep going.

“get there to and back faster if we keep going, just wasting time.” you mumbled to him as you leaned against a tree while he came back around from one, adjusting his coat. the two of you stopped in the middle of the woods that you were forced to cross through, snow falling slower now. the trees were still, and as was the shallow river nearby.

“do you ever stop complaining?” he finally spoke, but nothing but annoyance dripped from his words as he leaned against another tree, collecting himself.

“only when i don’t have shit to complain about,” you bit back, rolling your eyes as you watched the stream of water rush.

“you don’t have shit to complain about,” he argued and you scoffed.

“alright joel. just, let’s go. the sooner we’re there the faster i can get the fuck away from you.”

“we live together,” he said matter of factly.

“no shit joel, oh my god, can we just go?” you were so fucking irritated with him. the only thing that came out of his mouth to talk to was to just piss you off even more. he acted like he wasn’t practically breathing down your neck not even three days ago.

“you’re so damn irritating,” he mumbled as he gathered his things from the snow and swung his backpack over his shoulders, along with his rifle.

“oh, yeah, right because you’re a real fuckin’ joy to be around.” you spit. you quickly left without him, being much quicker on your feet than he was, and got to your horse before he did.

“don’t do that shit again, “ he spit at you when he reached his horse. of course, referring to the fact that you went off without him. joel was, needless to say, pissed off. and of course, again, you seem to be the root of his anger. you couldn’t lie, and you fought hard to keep the smile from creeping on your face at your realization. you actually enjoyed when he was angry because of you. you felt strong enough to have that power over him, at least some sort of power. you just knew how to press his buttons, and he knew how to press yours.

but just as you took joy in pissing you off, he enjoyed to watch you bite back and get equally as angry as he does because of you.

“it was fifteen feet joel. I know what i’m doing.”

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it was nightfall when you got to the small town outside of jackson. tommy was off by fifty miles or so. so far, still not running into anything that could kill either of you. taking the horses cut down the travel time by half had the two of you walked, and suddenly you were grateful because joel still won’t talk to you after the little spat in the woods.

it was bothering you an insane amount. you had no problem being unwanted and unwelcome, but this was excruciating for you. you just wanted to knock him off his horse and force him to be nice to you.

you were behind joel, a little off to his right when you rode further into the eerie town.

it wasn’t until you and joel stopped in front of a supermarket, tying the horses to nearby trees. the two of you walked into an abandoned supermarket that greeted the entrance of the city, stepping over the frame of the automatic doors that were broken. and as reckless as you were, you just so happened to step on the broken glass of the automatic doors that crunched under your boot. joel shot you an angry look, in a way that says ‘way to fucking go, smart one,’ when the snarling came from the back of the supermarket and you shot one right back. you start to see the pale figures running towards the two of you down the aisle in front of you.

you and joel hadn’t shared a word since you helped him with the map, so when he tells you to get behind him you don’t listen. you hear angry words, but you don’t listen. a part of you was still angry even when your very life was being threatened, it was true that maybe you held grudges for way too long. you weren’t paying attention to him, you fell into fight or flight and moved to the side of joel and around the cash registers to shoot bullets at two of the angry bodies running at you full speed.

the thing is, you didn’t want him to have to save you. you didn’t want him to have something to shove in your face later on, a debt you had to repay to him. you also didn’t need him to survive, you didn’t need his protection. even if you wanted it. you knew he might just throw it in your face one day.

joel was distracted, and caught off guard. of any time he could be distracted he chose now, too distracted by the way you quickly maneuvered around him without even noticing. too distracted by the way you just proved you could handle yourself, and then some. and too angry that you never listened to him.

and his stillness was because joel felt the same anxiety, the same nervousness he felt seeing you hold a gun to your own head, and actually felt his chest grow tight. he just froze. this wasn’t like joel, he was always on his toes, eager for bloodshed. but now, it’s pure fear and anxiety. you saw it when you finally noticed the clicker that was close enough to take him apart, and wondered why he wasn’t shooting and instead gripping at his chest. you called his name out, getting his attention and the clicker, raising your gun you shoot three times to watch the clicker drop to the floor.

“what the fuck joel?” you hushed as you tried to breathe normally again, trying to make sure there weren’t any more infected either on the way or here in the store.

“are you okay?”

“you didn’t listen to me, goddamnit,” he spit and quickly ransacked the store for whatever he saw on the list. you felt your head spin. was he mad at me? you thought.

“joel are you okay? that was, that wasn’t,” you didn’t know how to say it without making him look weak, ignoring the anger that took over his body. you didn’t even care about the tone and how enraged he sounded, you were worried about him.

“stop talkin’ and keep watch.” he was so sharp, so cold.

you sighed and kept watch like he said, walking around the front entryway as joel rushed to grab what was there. you were sure that the sound of the gunshots would’ve sent a plethora of clickers your way, but it was nothing but the sound of wind.

you were just so angry at him. his very existence and the fact that he still treated you like you were hardly there, it sent a certain rage to your body. you didn’t understand how this was your fault. how anything was your fault.

you had no choice but to follow him, so when he pushed past you with a fuller backpack you followed his lead. you could feel the heat coming from his body as he walked by you, and you knew he was angry. you tried to rack your brain what for. you just basically saved his life.

he was angry that he just proved again that he failed you. he got lost on the way here because he couldn’t see, and felt a sudden rush of fear hit him all at once. he was weaker, weaker than he’d been when he was traveling with ellie.

it wasn’t long before the two of you rode into a neighborhood and found streets of abandoned houses, cars still in driveways and swing sets still in the front yard. it was so eerie, creepy. this was somewhere people lived, created families here. now it’s a ghost town. it was nothing.

after the two of you tie up the horses again, he finally speaks.

“we’re gonna check all these houses, and sleep in one. listen to me for fuckin’ once and stop acting like a fuckin’ kid. come back here if shit goes south.” he demanded ugly, and you glared at him, actually taken aback.

“you know what joel-” you started but he waved you off.

“go.”

you were angry. god were you so angry. looking through house after house, floor after floor, room after room and all you could think about was telling joel off. you occasionally found something tommy and maria were looking for, batteries, a bottle of soap here and there, gloves, alcohol. but, you took everything after you made sure the coast was clear.

it might’ve taken you and joel about three hours to check every house on the block, some being too destroyed and in ruins to even search through. you looked at the watch on your wrist and the time flashed 12:56AM. and you were still angry. not only were you angry, but you were very much sexually frustrated.

how dare he act like that one night and act like i dont exist the next? you were fuming..

joel waited for you as you walked back to the first house on the street where you split up, and as he watched you walk towards him he noticed a scowl on your face. anger in your eyes and irritation, but he didn’t care.

“nothing. i’m going to bed, goodnight.” you spit, telling him there were no threats and no harm. you walked into the small house and went into the back rooms to look for a bed, finding one bed and couches in the living room. when you walked back to the living room, joel was already standing inside.

“you need to listen to me when i tell-” he began but you groaned and threw your backpack on the floor, taking your gun to put it in between the cushion of the couch where you plan to sleep.

“no joel, i’m not doing this shit with you. i’m capable, alright? you’re so fuckin’ angry at me for no reason and want me to just let you take it out on me,” you said loud enough for it to be taken as hostile.

“what the fuck happened? you didn’t,” you breathed, “you didn’t shoot or anything you just froze joel, what’s wrong with you?” your voice was rising, heat rising to your face and you just stared at him.

“you’re gonna get us fuckin’ killed, you’re just a fuckin’ brat.” he spit at you, and you scoffed.

“yeah okay joel, i’m a brat. i don’t know shit, i’m just a little stupid girl that doesn’t know shit, right? keep deflecting, keep saying nothing’s wrong when you look like you were having a heart attack,” you say, “you know you’re one to talk, you’re fuckin’ childish you know that?”

“i’m childish?” he asked, surprised. deflecting.

“really? that’s what you have to say? nothing about the fact you almost died?”

“yes you’re childish. you come onto me, and can’t even face me after it. you’re angry at me and for what? didn’t talk to me this whole way and why? cause you regret it? man the fuck up joel, i don’t care if we talk or not but what a fucking partner you’ve been. aren’t you the one supposed to keep me safe? not the other way around?”

he didn’t respond. you just saw his eyes go dark as you threw pillows off the couch for more room. he knew you were right, and you didn’t want to argue with joel right now. not when you had another day to spend with him, and having to go back home with him. but you were still so angry, at the audacity he had to call you a kid earlier. to act like you were the problem, you couldn’t help it.

“I act like a kid? please,” you scoffed even louder, “I saved your fuckin’ ass back there, really you should be kissing my fucking toes. you have some nerve, man. you might scare everyone, even your brother, but you’ll never fuckin’ scare me. you’re crazy if you think you do.” you laughed genuinely, shaking your head to rid yourself of the redness in your cheeks from your rage. and before you stopped going in on him, you had to top it with the cherry.

“maybe if you weren’t such a prick all of the time, ellie would actually want to spend time with you.”

“shut the fuck up,” he seethed and you laughed again. that might’ve not been the best idea, but you weren’t know to have the best ideas. his fists were clenched at his side as he stepped closer to where you stood, you just waved him off.

but he knows who his anger is really directed at. he couldn’t be angry at you, well he could, but not forever, he knows. he was angry at himself, angry that you had to risk yourself to save him. angry that you had to do anything for him actually. he was supposed to be your protector here, and now you were his? he felt weak. he felt, almost useless. if you can protect yourself and him, you would never need him then. he was angry at how right you are, and how right you’ve been.

“i don’t regret it,” he said as you sat on the couch with your back facing him.

you sat in silence for a bit before you responded, wanting to make sure you heard right.

“what?” you asked, turning to face him.

“i don’t regret it.”

you truly didn’t know what to do. you didn’t know if making a move was the right move, and you felt like you were going to do something you regretted.

you stood up again, and walked to stand in front of him. you needed to see him, to watch him as he watched you.

“you don’t regret what, joel? touching me?” you asked, getting another not so smart idea. maybe one that would flip the entire dynamic of this bond you had. “then touch me, joel.”

he was taken aback more than you thought, and you saw the internal fight he put up with himself as he looked over your face and body.

“i can’t do that, sweetheart.” was he really denying you right now? asking him to finally touch you and he says no?

“why not?” you said, reaching for his shirt. you didn’t care anymore. your anger was turning into desire for every minute you were alone with him, and you wanted him to take you in this abandoned house more than anything. maybe it was pathetic, but you couldn’t help the wetness that was pooling in your panties from his soft glare.

“i’ma mean old man, you don’t want me to touch you, don’t think i’d be too nice with ya,” he said with fake confidence. he wanted it so bad, he wanted to let you take his hands and put them anywhere he wanted. and even in your black hoodie that zipped up with your tight jeans on, he wanted to feel every inch of you. he wanted to believe he was doing the right thing by saying no you, but fuck it did not feel right to him. what would feel right is if he was buried in that cunt of yours for as long as he wanted.

“nice? you’re never nice, actually you’re jackson’s biggest asshole, but i was never expecting nice from you. i’ve wanted,,” you breathe and let your palms rest on his warm stomach, the small pouch he put on while he was finally eating meals under your touch. he was so warm underneath, knitting your eyebrows together in irritation when you realized he could’ve been keeping you from freezing all night. you didn’t care if he was nice to you anymore. you could handle mean, roughness, you could handle anything he wanted to give you.

“you’ve wanted what? talk to me, sweet girl,” he whispered, giving in to your needy tone, taking his fingers and grabbing your chin to look at him, his eyes. god his eyes. the wrinkles around them creased with every facial movement, usually his eyes were a brown, hazelish glaze but now they’re pitch black. something else in his stare. desire and lust. he couldn’t help but indulge himself when he heard you wanted something from him. because he wanted to give you everything.

you weren’t angry anymore. you were in admiration. you were enjoying being this close to him to see every detail and line and crevice on his face. you wanted to rub his cheeks, feel his skin under yours, but you couldn’t let go of the coat he had on.

“i’ve wanted you to make me feel good. but, you’re just so fucking angry all of the time it’s like you hate me. so i hate you more.” you rolled your eyes at him and he just stared at you.

he was soaking your words in. his thumb was rubbing over your chin, too close to your lips when you avoided his gaze. even now, you were still spewing your snarkiness at him and all he wanted you to do was beg him to make you feel good. but even being a brat, you looked so fucking pretty to him. eyes wide, mouth parted, your hands rubbing over his chest and abdomen—he needed your touch everywhere. he knew you could only be a brat for so long with the way you were leaning into his touch.

he was cracking, and so were you.

“i could never hate you, doll. could never tell a pretty girl like you no, ya fuckin’ kill me,” he softly chuckled, leaning into your face close enough to feel his breath on your lips. his hands move from your chin, slapping himself for taking back his word, and letting them fall on your wide hips.

“jus’ always so eager, ain’t that right? bloodthirsty little thing you are,” he teased, referring to the way you looked almost excited to pull your gun out and use it earlier. he liked it, and in his mind he felt like he was the only one who could tame you. the only man that could be man enough to handle all of you the way you deserved. tyler would never be able to pick you up and throw you face down on the bed, he’d never be able to even touch your pretty pussy the way she deserved.

his lips grazed the skin of your neck, and you felt something wet glide across the salty skin. his tongue was eager to taste you, so substituting your pussy for your neck was his best choice. if you weren’t already wet, you were now.

“joel, just, god you’re so fucking frustrating,” you grunted as you curled your fists into his sweater. your wetness was soaking your panties at this point and the throbbing of your clit was making you frustrated.

he just chuckled. “what do ya want baby,” he breathed, now dangerously close to your lips after he trailed small kisses from your neck to your cheek.

you didn’t really know what you wanted now that he asked, and really you were too damn nervous to say the words. i want you to fill me up. pump me full with your cum. tell me i’m yours and you’re mine. what if you scared him off with that? what if you said it out loud and it made everything so much more real? not just touching and flirting? it was too much to ask for. to even ask for anything from him, you felt like a burden.

“fuck you joel,” you breathed and whimpered, “you know what i want, just fuck me already, or are you too old to take me how i want?” you were desperate for him even if you were being mean about it, and he was loving every minute of it.

you needed him, his cock, his fingers, his tongue inside of you. and you saw how your neediness made him smug, his anger dissipating into nothing but adoration for you. he lightly tapped your ass at your old man remark, and narrowed his eyes at you, but relaxing them again when he saw a long overdue smile on your lips.

“fuuuuuck,” he drew out with his southern accent, “why are you so fuckin’ hard to say no to when you’re such a pain in my ass?” he asked himself. you felt him grow hard against your abdomen as you clenched your thighs and pulled him tighter to your chest. you needed the friction, but you needed it somewhere only he could give it to you.

“because i’m askin’ so nicely?” you suggested playfully, distracting yourself from the burning in your core. he practically smiled against your lips.

“that was nice?” he asked and you hit his chest playfully.

“i can’t do this with you, it just ain’t right,” he tried to resist again.

“you don’t seem like a man who does the right thing, joel.” you said smartly and he rolled his eyes at you before sighing.

“don’t fuckin’ do that, don’t try t’ guilt trip me. you’re fuckin’ trouble.” he’s saying it roughly, but the hard on he has pressing into you says otherwise. before you could take your hands to his cock, he’s grabbing them to remove them and pushing back from you, retracting himself. his self control was thinning, he wouldn’t be able to resist you if he was standing that close to you for another second.

“you’re an asshole, y’know that?” you said sharply, moving yourself away from him with the sting of rejection on your heart. you turn on your heels and start to walk away from him, wanting to escape to the dirty bathroom.

“it ain’t like that and you know it,” he defended from behind you and you shook your head.

“yeah i can tell! let me see, you make me tell you how i want to fuck you and call me baby and sweetheart and all this bullshit, then you tell me you want to do the right thing.” you paused and looked at him, “you get upset because i almost fucked someone, put your hands down my panties, and the next day you hate me. then you’re always fuckin’ mad at me, and then say i’m tryna guilt trip you into fucking me,”

“i mean what the hell joel. all you have t’ say is you don’t want me and we can fuckin’ leave it at that,” you spit and turned around. he just stared at you still with a hard look on his face, but something on his face that reads he isn’t exactly upset at you.

the silence thickens and a minute after a stare down between the two of you, he looked away. the switch that he had flipped so quick, and you’ve seen it before. how could he act so normal when he was throbbing in his jeans and you were staining your panties wet?

he kind of thought you were going to look away first, but now that you were so angry with him he could use it as a way to keep his distance. he knew exactly what he was doing. he was white fanging you. and he was doing it successfully.

“goodnight.” he said quickly without looking at you, and he walked past you to the back hall. you were turning back to sit on the couch as he took the bed until he came back out with all of his things in his arms.

“take the bed.” he ordered and you huffed.

“i’m fine out here,” you argued.

“take the bed.” he wasn’t budging.

so you gathered your things and huffed away to the bed, still thinking about the way he spoke to you when you decided to just leave your shoes on and sleep. you thought about why he’d trade you for the bed, it being this comfortable you figured he’d take it for himself. he was an old man, looking for comfort in anything he could.

you wondered why after all this he was still insistent on doing the right thing. you felt like doing the right thing was out of the question already with the way he spoke so crudely to you. you knew he wanted you too, you knew he was fighting himself to not touch you how he wanted.

but he had that instinct. the people he cared about before him. always. he couldn’t let himself delve into the possibilities of what would happen if he did do exactly what you wanted. he knew he was no good for you even if you tried to put this image of being a tainted person up. he knew that though you might think the two if you are similar, that he was far worse than you thought.

he couldn’t compete with the idea you created of him, that he was this holy protector that did everything to keep his loved ones safe. while he did protect, he was also taking. he could take no credit of the hero title, he never felt like one. to protect his family, he tore people’s families apart.

he didn’t know how, or when, but he knew he was going to hurt you if he let himself be smitten by you. he was going to make you really hate him if he gave into you, if he let you control him the way he feels like you do. he couldn’t let it happen. not tonight.

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DECEMBER 24TH, 2024

joel was right when he said you’d be home by nightfall had the two of you left before sunrise. the two of you were back before midnight after awkwardly gearing up and leaving promptly at four in the morning. it gave you time to explore the surprisingly empty city, yet still managed to have most of what tommy and maria needed.

to occupy your mind from joel’s eyes burning holes into your back as you took the responsibility of holding the map, you thought about what could’ve happened to that small town. it was eerily empty. something about being there made you feel like your stomach was churning, like someone was watching you.

you wanted to bring it up to tommy and maria when you met back with them that night, and even bring it up to joel when the two of you finally settled back into the house you hadn’t been in. but no words were spoken again, leaving an uncomfortable silence between you two that ellie noticed.

it was just the two of you once again in an empty house as ellie left to spend the night at a friend's house again. joel told her this time to tell someone before she leaves, if she left.

the clock struck twelve in the morning the minute the door slammed behind you, and without saying a word you trudged upstairs with a sigh and slammed your bedroom door. it felt childish, but that’s what this whole thing was.

you were throwing a fit that he wasn’t even acknowledging you unless he had to, yet you didn’t even know if you fully wanted him in the way you thought you did. the thought of having a companion, in this hypothetical situation let it be joel, and having someone that close to you again scared the shit out of you.

you’ve always had commitment issues. always had a fear that you’d duck and run before something bad could happen between the two of you. some people call it self sabotage.

you threw all of your gear sloppily in the closet that was on the same wall as your door and rummaged through the suitcase to grab a pair of panties and a shirt. you needed a shower, and you were desperate to just lay your clean head against a pillow and black out. you couldn’t bring yourself to think of joel anymore, and as you mindlessly walked to the bathroom that was on the second floor you heard the door to the bathroom open.

unfortunately, it opened right as you were grabbing the knob and before getting the chance to look up at the familiar scented man after the door swung open, the hand that gripped his towel around his waist unclenched.

you didn’t know if it was your surprising appearance that caught him off guard, or the fact that he didn’t expect anyone to be there in general, but he stilled and his hand involuntarily flexed, dropping the plush towel from his hips. joel felt the breeze before he even realized his fingers let it slip, but still kept his eyes on you.

you were staring. you knew you were staring, of course you knew you were staring, but you couldn’t give a shit. he was hard. you saw the throbbing immediately, the way it jerked and hit his abdomen when the towel dropped, how disgustingly big he was compared to anything you’ve seen. realistically as you practically drooled over his cock, you thought it was eight inches max, but the girth somehow made it look more swollen, more to take.

if you were any other random woman he was housing for the time being, he would’ve immediately picked up the towel to cover and excuse himself as he scurried embarrassingly to his room. if you had been any other woman that had tried to throw advances at him and purposely tried to see him in the shower, he would’ve hated the look you were giving him.

he wanted to hate it even more because it was you, but fuck do you look so sexy and you made him feel sexy. it wasn’t often he felt desired since he was an older man, and now that you’ve given him a lick of it, he was addicted to how you were put into an immediate trance. you were looking at all of him in all of his glory. and with your help. joel had been jacking off in the shower before he got out, stroking his angry tip to the thought of putting it between your lips.

he was going to allow himself to indulge just that one time. he promised himself. but he wasn’t a good person. he wasn’t a good, honest man. he was a liar, and a sweet talker, someone who knew the power of persuasion. he could have you if he wanted to, could’ve had you on your knees in the shower for him while he rubbed a thumb over your cheek.

he knew what he was capable and yet, he settled for fucking his hand thinking of your cunt. but the good man in him, the honest man in him was pleading to escape. plotting his escape.

you couldn’t stop gawking at his cock. it was peppered with long veins, one specific one trailing down from the tip to the base of his cock, and you could actually see the precum dripping down his angry, throbbing tip.

to him, you stared as if he was the last man on earth. and he enjoyed the attention so much he wanted to show you just exactly how much he appreciated the way you desired him.

it took self restraint from dropping to your knees right now, to feel his tip hit the back of your throat so he can shove his way into the tight walls of your throat. you imagined the noises he made, how he would talk to you, how he’d praise you. you craved it now.

you were in awe, maybe even a little scared. all of your fantasies and imaginations finally had something to base off of, and now that you saw how girthy and long he was, you were intimidated. there’s no way he’s that big. god, he’s almost 60!

finally, after what seemed like an hour but really was just a minute or two, you closed your eyes shut and cringed at how you must’ve looked, how obvious you liked seeing him like this. and how smug joel must look with how easy it is to get you to surrender yourself to him.

you memorized the way he looked though. the dark curls that gathered at the base of his cock, trailing up to his stomach before thinning out right below his belly button and the little straight line of sparse hair trailing up his stomach a bit. the way his thighs looked so thick and strong, perfect for you to take a seat if you wanted because you’d have no doubt about not hurting him with your weight, the way his rough hands clenched into fists at his sides and the way his stomach wasn’t the most toned but was firm and still wet, tan.

you knew if there was any chance of being able to actually sleep with the man, it'd take some finessing to fit all of him in any of your holes. but even though the size was intimidating, you could just tell that the stretch he'd provide sliding inside of you would be everything you've ever wanted.

you wanted to feel his body under your fingers while you sunk onto him, watching him watch you. you needed him, and you couldn’t fucking understand why this desire and urge was coming out now. to feel so strongly about him that it frustrated you to tears, it was morbid because this was based on pure attraction.

he didn't know you, you didn't know him. not really.

you were inching closer and closer to your downfall with every look over of his body. but he was loving it.

“i’m, god, i’m sorry, i was just—shower, i needed to, wash uh,” you breathed as you opened your eyes again and looked away as he grabbed the towel from the ground. “just, you know. get clean, wash certain uhh–areas, and stuff.”

joel was thoroughly amused. you actually managed to shift your eyes around to see that he was fully covered again and he was in fact grinning smugly at you. you’d never seen joel express any other emotion other than negative, and it sent heavy fluttering to your core and throughout the tendons of your thighs.

“‘s all good, honey,” his voice was hoarse, raspy and god did it make the slickness start to run down your cunt and into your panties. “go ahead,”

joel slide between you and the door frame, breathing you in without shame and letting you feel him graze the cloth covered throbbing length against you, smiling to himself at your body’s reaction.

you quickly shut the door without looking at him again, releasing a long breath that you had been holding. again. you were angry because he knew exactly what he was doing. he was torturing you, and took all the pleasure of doing so.

joel actually expected you to fold right there, in front of him while he was hard all because of you. he expected you to break and ask him why he’d been ignoring you, again, and tell him how you want him. he honestly expected more than just a stare from you, he couldn’t read your face exactly so he couldn’t tell if you enjoyed the view or not.

but after your babbling and messing your words up, he knew it wouldn’t take much more to break you. suddenly, the urge to stay away from you so he wouldn’t bring harm to your life was overpowered by the urge to ruin you in every way possible all in one day. he wanted to see your hard shell crack because of him, before you cracked his.

because whether joel wanted to admit it or not, he met his match with you. and god, he wanted to prove to you that maybe you weren’t as strong as you seemed. his sick, twisted mind wanted to see you crying for him, begging him, pleading for him to make you feel good. he wanted to see you break for him, he wanted to be the only one to see you fucked out for him. he accepted the fact that being away from you and not being able to touch you as he pleased wasn't going to last any longer.

he was just waiting for the right moment.

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