#…or an area where I can put past projects or events as well as upcoming stuff

[ravenatural]

anybody know any art portfolio alternatives to wix that are comparable in terms of what it allows under a free plan, and are user friendly? I’ve already tried carrd, but what I could do with it was severely limited for my purposes

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky

[ao719]

Another Five Years

A/N: My what-if wheels started to churn at the end of the last chapter about Tatum and MC, and here we are. Thank you to those who preread in part and whole!

Pairing: Tatum x MC

Warnings: None really, just some angst and language.

Kennedy stands in front of the floor-length mirror in the bedroom of her hotel suite, staring at her reflection. She has on a knee-length black sheath paired with matching pumps; it’s a simple look, nothing over the top.

She reaches over, grabbing a glass off the vanity, and takes a sip of her sweet tea jubilee; it’s her second one already. She’s trying to calm her nerves and clear her head of the questions running through her mind.

“Are you ready yet?” a voice inquires from the suite’s common area. “I’m starving, and you promised me a buffet!”

Despite the anxiety she’s feeling, Kennedy smiles and shakes her head. He always knows how to make her smile. She gives her reflection one last look-over before turning towards the door with her glass in hand.

When she enters the room, she’s met by his smile as he takes in her outfit. “Looking good,” he winks playfully.

“Thank you. And thanks for coming with me tonight, Blaine.”

“Like I’d let you go into the lion’s den -- no pun intended -- alone.” He smiles as he leans down, kissing her cheek.

Kennedy tosses back the rest of her drink and sets the glass down on the bar cart as she lets out a breath. “Ok … I’m ready.”

Blaine can see the trepidation in her expression. “Are you sure about that? We can skip it and have a night out on the town, Rutherland style. You could even go see your mom.”

“No. I’m not going anywhere near my mother right now. She’s starting the campaign, and I’m not subjecting you to that. That’s the whole reason we stayed at a hotel instead of the state manor, remember?”

“Hey, I’ve grown on her and Rutherland the last few years.”

“Yes, after she won her third term. Now, all bets are off. You remember how insufferable she was five years ago. We couldn’t even do a project together without her breathing down my neck.”

“That was before she got to know me. She thought I was nothing more than the rival troublemaker back then.”

Kennedy chuckles. “Yes, but she’s been harping on me for the past year about this,” she motions between them, “and ‘setting the record straight.’ Now, with the campaign starting back up, that’s all we would hear about because she would say that it could help her. I’m only doing this tonight at her request because she thinks it’ll make her look good, even though she didn’t come out and say it. At this point, I know how to read between the lines.”

Blaine’s expression softens as he stares at her. “Ok, as long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” she nods, her tone laced with determination. But she’s unsure if she’s trying to convince him or herself.

“Alright. The car is waiting out front.”

****

Kennedy and Blaine step off the elevator and make their way through the hotel lobby. They can see the crowd of press gathered outside with their cameras ready for them. It’s nothing they’re not used to, alone or together. Both their security teams form a protective barrier around the pair as they near the doors, and Kennedy feels Blaine gently grasp her arm so he can guide her quickly to the car once they’re outside.

As soon as the doors open, the flashes start, and their security starts pushing the reporters back as they yell out to them.

“Kennedy! Blaine! Over here!”

“Kennedy! Are you looking forward to the reunion tonight?”

“How long are you in Rutherland for?”

“Blaine, when are you going to pop the question?”

“Any wedding bells for you two in the near future?”

Kennedy and Blaine do what they always do: Ignore them. They make it to their car, and Kennedy slides in first before Blaine slips in behind her and shuts the door. Both their heads of security are in the front seats, and they take off the moment they’re safely inside.

Kennedy lets out a breath as she settles back in her seat. “You alright?”

“I’m fine,” she nods, looking at Blaine and offering a smile.

“So, Miss Monroe, how are you feeling about the reunion tonight?” Blaine holds out his hand for her to speak into the imaginary microphone; Kennedy laughs and playfully pushes his hand away before she looks out the window.

I am scared, tense, and completely on edge, she silently answers the question to herself.

Tonight is Kennedy’s 10-year high school reunion. She had no intentions of attending, but when she mentioned getting the invitation to her mother, she immediately insisted that she go. She told her how it would be good for her to go and catch up with her old friends, but Kennedy knew that her mother had ulterior motives for pushing her to attend. She just wanted Kennedy to talk her up to her fellow Rutherlandians because of her upcoming campaign.

Kennedy’s reasoning for not wanting to go was simple: Tatum.

It has been five years since she last saw or spoke to him. She still remembers the night he left and walked away from her for a second time as if it happened yesterday.

**

When Tatum enters Kennedy’s room, he won’t meet her eyes. And she knows something is happening, having overheard a piece of his conversation. But she plays dumb. “What’s going on?”

Tatum clears his throat, still looking down at the ground. “I’ve just got a call from Winston. They found a new assignment for me.”

Kennedy can feel her heart plummet at his words. “Do you think someone found out about us?”

“As far as I’m aware, no one knows.” Tatum finally looks up at her, and there’s a sadness in his eyes that she’s never seen before. “I’m guessing it’s because I put in a reassignment request months ago.”

“You asked for this?” Kennedy says as a look of surprise fills her expression. He wants to leave. “Are you that unhappy as my head of security?”

Tatum’s head shakes back and forth as he takes a step towards her. “No. I’m not unhappy, Kennedy. I filed that request back when I was first assigned here, back when all I could think about was returning to the military career I’d worked so hard for.”

Realization hits Kennedy. “And this is your chance to do that. To follow in your mom’s footsteps …”

Tatum nods somberly. “They’re offering me a promotion. A big one. I didn’t expect it.”

“I guess people just don’t say ‘no’ to that sorta thing, huh?”

“Just a month ago, this news would have meant everything to me. But now …”

“Now?”

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you,” he says, his voice just above a whisper as he looks back down to the floor.

They spent five years apart, and she had only just gotten him back. After years, they finally expressed their long-held feelings for one another, and Kennedy thought this was their chance. And now their time is being cut short, and he’s being pulled away from her again. And she wants to ask him to stay. But she can’t. She knows it would be selfish of her. She knows Tatum all too well, and he wouldn’t think twice about staying if she asked him to. But he’s worked so hard, and she can’t let what she wants come between him and his dreams. This is everything he’s ever wanted.

“You should go. I want you to go.” It hurts her to say it, but she can’t be responsible for him not taking this opportunity. He deserves it more than anyone.

Tatum glances back up at her. “What about you?”

“The rest of the security team will keep me safe.”

Tatum stares at her, and she can see the storm of emotions in his eyes. He’s silent for a long moment before he takes a deep breath and nods. “Then this really is goodbye …”

**

Kennedy still feels that ache in her chest as she recalls their final conversation. Tatum left that night, and she didn’t hear from him again. She has no idea even now where he’d been sent for his new assignment. When Kennedy asked, she was told she wasn’t privy to that information. She thought perhaps he would reach out to her eventually, hoping that they would still keep in touch.

Kennedy never expected another five years to go by without a word from Tatum. It hurts and makes her slightly bitter.

After Tatum left, she spent a month wallowing in self-pity. The only time Kennedy left her dorm was to attend events on behalf of her mother to help with her campaign and to go to class. And it stayed that way until Blaine decided to take matters into his own hands.

Blaine knew the moment he saw the new security detail with her on the day of her mother's campaign fundraiser why she was closing herself off. He knew about her relationship with Tatum. Kennedy had told him about their history as childhood best friends, and the years they spent apart when Tatum first enlisted in the military. And she had eventually confided in him about Tatum being the one in those photos with her that caused the scandal and that they had been seeing each other in secret.

In the beginning, Kennedy tried to save face and act less hurt than she truly was in front of Blaine. “I’m ok.” “It is what it is.” “We weren’t anything official.” “It’s better this way.” Eventually, Blaine got her to open up about how she was really feeling. Kennedy broke down one night, and Blaine was the one who was there, listening to her cry about Tatum, what had happened, and how much she missed him. How she loved him. And Blaine was the one who was there, telling her it was going to be ok.

Blaine was the one who was there for her through it all.

During their remaining two years at Vancross, despite the protest from both their parents, Blaine and Kennedy grew inseparable. They were friends, then friends with benefits, and after graduation, they were officially a couple.

The new relationship was deemed controversial initially; being together when their countries were political rivals was seen as a bombshell of epic proportions. Blaine and Kennedy didn’t care. They didn’t let the public’s opinion or that of their parents sway them. They were happy and in love.

Over time, their parents found that their relationship was actually a good thing. The two of them being together halted rumors and scandal-ridden articles regarding Blaine as a troublemaker and shed him in a different light. The Ardonian public, who once dubbed the First Son as someone who was unable to settle down, witnessed a new side to him. Rutherland eventually accepted the relationship as a gain for them, seeing the blossoming romance as something that could bring together the two countries that had been at odds for years.

Despite neither wanting or planning to follow in their parents’ footsteps, Blaine and Kennedy became known as a political power couple simply by association.

Even now, they are constantly splashed across tabloids, but they give the press nothing to go by concerning their personal lives. They never talk to reporters about one another or their relationship, and they never answer questions. Everything regarding them as a couple is left up to speculation. They have always hated the press and their lack of respect when it comes to giving them any sort of privacy, so not giving them any information turned into a game for Blaine and Kennedy, knowing how much it irritated them. It’s been three years since their relationship came out, and the press only grows more impatient with them for their lack of information surrounding it.

The car stops outside of the oceanside building where the reunion is being held, and Kennedy can feel the trepidation wracking her body as she stares out the window. She’s unsure if Tatum is even going to be there tonight, and she can’t decide if she hopes that he is or isn’t. She’s not sure what scares her most: seeing him again or never seeing him again.

And she lacks understanding about how one person, after all this time, can still have such a hold on her. She went five years without talking to him. Then another five years. How can she still feel this way about Tatum Mendoza?

“Kennedy?” Blaine’s voice pulls her attention, and she looks up; he’s standing in front of her. She hadn’t even realized he had gotten out of the car and opened her door. “To get inside, you’re going to have to get out of the vehicle,” he teases.

“Right,” she nods as she takes a breath.

Blaine can see the anxiety in her eyes. And it is no secret to him as to why she is feeling this way. “Hey,” he says as he takes her hand, squeezing it gently. “It’s going to be ok.” She nods again, but he knows the uncertainty of his words is lingering. “Come on, we’ll go right to the bar. Loosen you up a bit.” Finally, she smiles, and he returns his own before helping her out of the car.

The press is standing behind a barricade that surrounds the building's entrance but far enough away to give Kennedy and Blaine plenty of breathing room. They shout questions and snap photographs of the pair as they walk inside. Again, Kennedy and Blaine ignore them entirely.

Once inside, Kennedy heads to the table to check in. Blaine is met with stares, but he pays them no mind. It’s nothing he’s not used to, especially while being in Rutherland. When she’s finished signing them in, Kennedy and Blaine head towards the first ballroom.

“You know, I pictured your lion mascot to be a bit more fierce looking,” Blaine jokes as he points to a banner hanging above the entrance of the ballroom; written across it is ‘Rutherland High Lions’ with their mascot set behind the text.

“What was your mascot?”

“A wolf.”

“That’s not that fierce. And lions are better.”

“You wish, Rutherland,” he smirks. They enter the ballroom and are met by chatter and laughter as Kennedy’s classmates catch up with one another. “And what do we have here?” Blaine says, but there’s humor in his tone. He’s looking at a photo wall filled with pictures of Kennedy’s class throughout the years, from kindergarten to senior year. “Let’s find little Monroe, shall we?” he chuckles. She can’t help but smile at the amusement in his eyes as they look at the photos.

As they scan through the pictures, Kennedy sees the first one of her and Tatum. They’re in the third grade, sitting on a carpet in the library, all bright-eyed and grinning. She looks away, trying not to focus on it, but finds another from sixth grade; they were partners in the science fair, and they’re posing with their project and first-place ribbons. Then she sees one from the ninth grade inside the gym during a pep rally. She feels that ache in her chest as she stares at it; he’s in his football jersey with his arm slung over her shoulder, and she’s nestled into his side, both wearing large smiles. That’s when she knew, at 14, that she first had feelings beyond friendship for him. She finally manages to peel her gaze away, but it lands on another photograph from their tenth-grade fall festival. It’s her and Tatum riding on their class float.

That ache grows as she forces her eyes away, only to see another picture a moment later, and then another, and another. It’s like a montage of her and Tatum’s long history playing out in front of her. There are dances, football games, and parades, and in each one, they’re together.

We were inseparable.

Kennedy's eyes stop on one from their eleventh-grade homecoming dance. Tatum is at her side; his arm is around her waist, that damn foam sword gripped in his other hand; he’s wearing a triumphant smile. She can’t help but laugh to herself at the memory, remembering how he had defended her honor when her date had stood her up that night.

The last photo she sees causes a lump to form in her throat. It’s their senior prom. Unlike the other photographs, this one is candid. They’re not looking at the camera but one another. And the look on both their faces is like they’re the only two people in that crowded room. This was the last photograph they had taken together before Tatum left to start his military training two weeks later.

“You look like you could use a drink,” Blaine says.

Kennedy lets out a breath and clears her throat, trying to rid it of the lump. “Yeah … I really could.” Blaine offers her his arm, and she accepts it before they head to the bar.

****

Tatum stands near his car in the parking lot; his hands are stuffed into his pockets as he stares at the building across the street. He hasn’t been able to stop wondering all day if Kennedy would be here tonight, but when he sees the barricade keeping the press away from the building, he knows she’s inside. She’s the only reason they would be there.

If he thought he was nervous before, he was wrong. His heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of his chest. It’s been five years, and not a day has gone by that he hasn’t thought of their last conversation. As much as he thought he wanted that promotion, as hard as he worked to get it, he’s been nothing but miserable. Walking away from Kennedy for a second time has been the biggest regret of his life. He only left because she told him to. He did it because that’s what she wanted him to do.

**

Tatum’s jaw tenses as he fights back the surge of emotions that hit him. When he put in for the reassignment request, it was because he thought he’d be happier. He had worked hard to be considered for that position, but it was more than that. More than what he’s just told Kennedy.

When he first found out that he was being assigned as Kennedy’s head of security, he struggled with the feelings that he thought he had let go of over the past five years, but they were still very much there. He didn’t think he was capable of putting them aside to do the job he was assigned. But now, he doesn’t trust anyone else to protect her. And now, his feelings for her that he’s kept to himself for years are laid out in the open. And she said she felt the same. Tatum thought when he told her about the reassignment, Kennedy would ask him to stay.

Instead, Kennedy says she wants him to go. And he doesn’t protest … because it’s what she wants.

Tatum feels his chest constrict as he struggles to hold Kennedy’s gaze. “Then this really is goodbye …” At his words, he hears her breath catch, and he sees her eyes well with tears. “Kenz, I-”

Her lips cut off Tatum’s words, and he instinctively wraps his arms around her. Her fingers thread through the hair at the base of his neck, and he pulls her body flush against his. He feels the first tear slip out, and he kisses her deeper, pouring everything into it that he can’t say. There’s no point. This kiss feels like goodbye because it is. And he has no idea when he’ll see her again. If he’ll see her again.

They slowly part, and Tatum keeps his eyes closed as he rests his forehead against hers. “Just … don’t forget me,” she whispers.

Tatum clenches his jaw, trying to get his words out over the lump in his throat. “Never did, never will …”

**

Tatum runs his hand down his face as he tries pushing the memory away. When he arrived at the military base the day after their goodbye for his orders is when he learned his new assignment was classified. He wouldn’t be able to reach out to Kennedy because it was against protocol.

Instant regret filled him.

Tatum spent three years on that assignment before he was finally sent back to Rutherland. And that’s when he learned of Kennedy and Blaine’s relationship; it was hard to miss the constant media coverage surrounding the pair. He thought about reaching out on more than one occasion, but he talked himself out of it every time. He figured it would be better to leave well enough alone. Perhaps he was giving their history, the fleeting relationship they had, and their feelings for one another too much credit, but he didn’t know what reaching out would do to her. If she was truly happy, he didn’t want to interfere with that.

And now he finds himself moments away from seeing her again at their 10-year high school reunion. He’s unsure what to expect, not only from her but himself; his mind and emotions are all over the place.

“Ready?” her soft voice pulls him from his thoughts.

Tatum turns and lets out a breath as he nods; he holds his arm out, and she smiles at him as she links hers through his. “I’m ready.”

****

After some hellos to a few old friends, Kennedy and Blaine take their seats at a table. Blaine leans over to her as they look out at the crowd. “So, give me some fun, old-school gossip on these people,” he says in a low voice.

“Ok,” Kennedy chuckles, noticing the mischief in his tone. She scans the room filled with her old classmates, and her eyes fall on a redhead. “That’s Jennifer. But she goes by Jeni, spelled J-E-N-I.”

“Ugh, that’s the worst.”

Kennedy starts to laugh when she sees him roll his eyes. “Jeni wanted to be popular in high school and always tried way too hard.”

“Kind of like right now? I mean, she’s wearing a tiara.”

“Exactly,” Kennedy snorts. Her eyes then fall on a man, standing with a group of others near the back of the room. “That over there is Marcus. He married his high school sweetheart.”

“I take it that’s her next to him, the one whose ass he’s caressing?”

“No. That’s her sister.”

Blaine lets out a bark of laughter. “Marcus, you dog!”

“That woman over there,” Kennedy says as she subtly points to a table. “That’s Kelly. Kelly used to babysit the gym teacher’s kids our senior year. They ended up having an affair.”

Blaine’s brows raise in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. It was this whole thing … but she failed 10th grade and had to repeat it, so she was 19 when it happened …” Kennedy shrugs. “And that guy next to her is Patrick. For a senior prank, he listed our principal’s house for sale by owner on a listings website. He priced it way under the market value and scheduled an open house for the day of our graduation ceremony. Over a dozen people were waiting in his driveway when he got home,” Kennedy laughs.

Blaine nods his approval. “Sounds like my kind of guy.”

“Let's see, who else …” Kennedy starts to scan the room for more stories when she suddenly stiffens next to Blaine. He glances at her and notices the look on her face before following her gaze. When he sees who’s at the doors where Kennedy is staring, he understands immediately.

As Kennedy stares at Tatum, the first thing she notices is the beautiful woman on his arm, smiling at him as they step further inside the room. It’s been five years, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to her that he has someone in his life. When her eyes move back to him, she feels her chest tighten. He’s scanning the crowd; he points to a few people, and the woman he’s with smiles and nods to what he says.

And then he looks towards her, and their eyes meet. It’s as if time stands still for a brief moment; everything and everyone around Kennedy fades away.

When Blaine places his hand on her arm, she’s pulled from her momentary daze. “Breathe,” he whispers. And she does; she lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as she looks at him. “You should go say hi.”

Kennedy looks back at Tatum, who is still staring at her. She has thought about this moment for weeks now and what she would feel and do when and if she saw him tonight. She told herself that they could talk. They had gone years without speaking before. But seeing him only brings back those memories of him walking away from her that last time to the forefront of her mind: the hurt, the sadness, the longing to talk to him, to see him.

Their last goodbye was much different from their first.

And Kennedy doesn’t think she can bear another goodbye from him. So she decides at that moment that maybe it’s best to just avoid the hello. She’s only avoiding the inevitable, after all.

“Not right now. I’m going to grab another drink.” Kennedy rises from her seat and makes her way towards the bar.

****

Tatum stands near the back of the room with a drink in hand. He’s been trying to work up the courage to approach Kennedy for an hour now. He tells himself he’s just waiting for the right moment, but he knows he’s just making excuses because he’s nervous and uncertain.

When he first locked eyes with her across the room, his entire body tensed. He swore his heart momentarily stopped, and he pushed down that instinct and urge to run to her. They’ve been sneaking glances ever since.

Tatum can’t help but worry that perhaps she doesn’t want to talk to him. When she does glance his way, and he catches her, she doesn’t smile; her eyes just hold his gaze for a moment before she looks away. When they parted five years ago, it wasn’t on bad terms, but it wasn’t necessarily good either. It was complicated. And he knows there’s a good chance that she’s hurt and angry that he hasn’t reached out. That was also complicated, at least for him, because three years of that silence was out of his control.

As Tatum glances over to see where Kennedy is, instead of her, his eyes fall on Blaine, who is making his way towards him. “Mendoza,” Blaine smiles, extending his hand. Tatum takes it, giving a firm shake. “It’s been a long time. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Tatum nods, dropping his arm back to his side and slipping his hand into his pocket. “How about you?”

“Can’t complain.” Blaine takes a sip of his drink before looking around the decorated room. “Your date seems to be enjoying herself,” he chuckles, motioning towards where she’s hovered in a corner on her phone. “How’d you two meet?”

“Just old army friends. She’s not in anymore, but she happened to be in town for work and offered to tag along.”

Just friends. Good to know. “So how’s it feel to be hit with all this nostalgia tonight?”

“It’s, uh … something,” Tatum half-smiles. “How about you? Must be weird to be at the high school reunion with the daughter of your country’s once-political rival.”

Blaine holds up his fist. “Go Lions,” he chuckles. “Honestly, it hasn’t been too bad. We were met with some stares when we first arrived, which we expected and are used to. But all in all, I can’t complain.” Blaine and Tatum both look over to Kennedy, who is near the bar speaking with a blonde woman.

“Well, I’m glad Kennedy has someone supportive to come with her tonight ... and who makes her happy.” Tatum offers a small smile, but Blaine sees right through the force behind it.

“We’re not together, Tatum.”

Tatum’s brows furrow as he looks at Blaine. “I’ve seen the tabloids over the past couple of years. I thought that you two-”

“We’re not together anymore. I’m only here as her plus one tonight as a friend … which is something we mutually decided we’re better off as a year ago.” A year ago. Tatum hasn’t seen anything in the tabloids that even suggested the once seen as controversial turned political power couple had ended things. “And you haven’t seen anything in the tabloids about the breakup because Kennedy and I like to piss them off by not telling them anything. We’ve impressed even ourselves with how long it’s gone on without them figuring it out,” he chuckles.

Tatum rubs the back of his neck, feeling a slight wave of embarrassment and something else. Relief? “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize … I thought-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, that’s good you two can still be friends.”

“We started that way and didn’t want that to change. After two years, we ended things on good terms and with a deep respect for one another.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Blaine looks at Tatum pensively. In all the time he’s had with Kennedy over the past five years, as friends and something more, he’s always sensed something was missing from her life. A piece to a puzzle. And he’s always known deep down what -- or rather who -- that piece is. He knew of their relationship and her feelings for Tatum. He was the one who was there helping to pick up her shattered pieces when he left.

And Blaine knows that even after all this time, inside her chest beats a heart that’s hanging on only for him. Kennedy’s heart belongs to Tatum. It always has.

Blaine and Kennedy had been together for two years, and he never doubted her feelings for him. Not once. He loved her, and he knew that she loved him.

Just not in the same way she loved Tatum.

There’s a connection she shares with Tatum that’s rich in history and memories and rich in a longing they’ve held for one another that spans years. When you compare it to anyone else, himself included, it might as well be a lifetime. And while Blaine may no longer be in love with Kennedy, he loves her as a friend, and he wants her to be happy. He wants her to have that chance at what he knows she’s always wanted.

Blaine tosses back the rest of his drink before looking at Tatum. “Look … during our relationship, I never doubted Kennedy’s feelings for me. I know she cared about me. I know she loved me. But there was one thing that always stood in our way …”

Tatum ignores the pang in his chest at the details of Kennedy’s feelings for Blaine. “What’s that?”

“I wasn’t you.” Blaine can see that Tatum is taken aback by his words, evident by the surprise that fills his expression. “It wasn’t something that was ever brought up between us. She never even came out and said those words to me. I just … I knew deep down. Don’t get me wrong, we were happy when we were together. She was happy. But despite all of my charms and these damn good looks of mine,” Blaine smirks as he rubs his chin, “I knew that I could never compete with the biggest what-if of her life.” Tatum stares at Blaine, feeling his heart thunder in his chest. “You’ve been torn away from each other twice now. Don’t let her go again, Tatum.”

Tatum swallows thickly as he turns his head, and his gaze finds Kennedy, still standing near the bar. Was Blaine saying what he thought he was? Did she still feel the same way about him that he did about her, even after all these years? Could they finally have their chance, a real chance? What if Blaine was wrong? More and more questions fill his mind as that familiar longing for her flourishes inside him.

Blaine leans over next to Tatum, his eyes now on Kennedy as well. “Um, I’m not sure if you got the memo,” he whispers, “but this is the part where you’re supposed to go to her.” Tatum snaps out of his daze and looks over at Blaine, who gives him a nod. “Seriously, you should go talk to her …”

********************************

Using my perma/FA tags (if you’d like to be added or removed, please let me know): @leelee10898 @zaffrenotes @cocomaxley @gardeningourmet @blackcoffee85 @gibbles82 @annekebbphotography @sweetest-marbear @indiacater @liamxs-world @classylady1234 @texaskitten30 @thequeenofcronuts @custaroonie @moneyfordiamonds @the-soot-sprite @ladyangel70 @kate-mckenzie @emichelle @dcbbw @burnsoslow @bbrandy2002 @sirbeepsalot @choiceslife @debramcg1106 @gnatbrain @ofpixelsandscribbles @caroldxnvxrs @openheart12 @rigatonireid @callmeellabella @superharriet @seriouslybadchoices @aestheticartsx @forthebrokenheartedthings @kingliam2019 @indiana-jr @bascmve01 @rainbowsinthestorm @badchoicesposts @darley1101 @blackcatkita @charlotteg234 @alyssalauren @txemrn @neotericthemis @queenrileyrose @emkay512 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @gkittylove99

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (4)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

START  / PREV / NEXT

Doctor Wada makes an unscheduled appearance the same morning. Kakashi has the doctor’s schedule memorised and knows the man usually spends his first work hour in his office before checking in with various patients. The change is not unexpected.

“Ms Iori finished her rounds, marked everything as normal and handed the ward off without incident.” Wada and one of the floor’s morning shift nurses talk, voices lowered, too quiet for a regular person to pick up.

“It was called in around 4:15 am. We confirmed it as a burst blood vessel behind his quirked-eye, but we don’t know what triggered it. Without examining the eye itself it is hard to draw any definite conclusions. Since we don’t know what his quirk does, we didn’t want to risk staff safety without a specialist on hand.”

“Nothing else? No other symptoms?” Wada asks.

“No external bleeding. No signs of irritation around the eye socket. Clear, coherent verbal responses from the patient. Vitals are stable.  The dressings on the eye were changed yesterday, and nothing was flagged then either.”

“I see. Thank you.”

Depressed at the thought of what amounted to a forced long-term infiltration mission, Kakashi’s attention drifts away from the hushed conversation. Kakashi has never been assigned to any extended infiltrations. Long, tedious things that they were. Jōnin were usually too valuable to waste on them. Even before he had made jōnin, his skillset lent itself to tracking, assassination, ambush and one on one combat not undercover assignments. It was just his luck -or maybe it was karma-that he had been shunted into one. Three years of ‘mingling’ amongst these soft-acting civilians, waiting to build enough chakra for an attempt at a technique he wasn’t even sure would work. It was enough to make even the most battle-hardened shinobi depressed. 

Maybe he should run off and hide somewhere. He would skulk around for three years avoiding the locals. Less of a hassle that way. Kakashi lets out a weary breath.

“See if you can bump up that MRI. We need to make sure this isn’t anything serious,” Wada’s voice breaks through his musing as the doctor starts in the direction of Kakashi’s bed. The nurse he is talking with nods and leaves.

“Well, you have certainly had an eventful night,” Wada greats when he draws near, leaning in to visually scan Kakashi, “Let’s see what we have going on. Can you close your left eye for me so I can unwrap it?”

 He habitually pushes down his natural discomfort at having a stranger close to his sharingan as the doctor reaches to tilt Kakashi’s head to the side for better access. If he was going to be stuck here then he should maintain his complacent, harmless persona. At least, until he leaves the hospital. Besides, if they had wanted to hurt him, they would have done it while he was unconscious.

“No swelling around your quirked-eye and the bleeding has stopped, that’s a good sign. We’ll run a few tests and get to bottom of this, not to worry.”

“Yeah. About that,” Kakashi rubs the back of his head to look sheepish and apologetic, “I might have tested out my, eh, quirk. You know…I wanted to see what it would do…”

There is a beat of silence, the older man drawing away, too surprised to respond.

“I think it lets me memorise things it sees?” Kakashi continues. Even if he wasn’t 100% sure about what he would do next, he is not about to abandon his shaky amnesia cover story.

“Of all the reckless, irresponsible decisions!” the doctor snaps out of his surprise moving straight into anger, “I expressly told you to wait and not to mess with it. You had no idea what sort of quirk it was! What if you had injured someone or yourself.” The concern seems pretty genuine and Kakashi almost feels bad for manipulating him.

“Young people these days…honestly. No patience.”

Young? It had been a while since anyone has called him that. Kakashi is practically ancient by shinobi standards. The response prompts a semi mournful, almost amused sigh from him, “I know, I know. I just wanted some sort of clue as to how I got here.”

The doctor takes a frustrated breath, calming “Yes. I know it’s frustrating, being restless and hold up in this bed for three straight weeks, but there is a procedure to these things. You got lucky that the only side effect was a burst blood vessel. Next time you want to test your quirk we’ll make sure it is in a controlled environment with an expert on hand. I don’t care if you have some sort of passive regeneration, quirks can be dangerous. The hospital has offsite testing facilities for a reason.”

“Yes. I understand. I won’t do it again,” he says dutifully and gets a huff of disbelief and a head shake.

“You better not.”

A pause.

“So.”

“So?” Kakashi raises a brow.

“So what did you discover? Explain it to me again.” Wada motions, impatient, repositioning a nearby chair so he can sit comfortably beside the bed.  

“It lets me remember things…” Kakashi had given a lot of thought to what he wanted his fake ‘quirk’ to do without giving too much away, “I’m pretty sure I remember anything it looks at perfectly.”

A somewhat true explanation, in that recoding information and prefect recall was one facet of the sharingan; a side effect of its primary function which was to copy ninjustu and taijustu. The explanation also played into the diagnosis Wada had already written into his medical files, making it more believable.

“Then, lucky for you, something good came of your reckless behaviour.”

Kakashi just smiles which elicits the beginnings of another lecture. “Not that you should ever take quirk safety lightly. Quirk licenses exist for a reason. People can’t go about throwing their quirks around willynilly. A licence, I might add, that you don’t have.”

“Sorry. Sorry.”

After witnessing several televised reports on police arresting people for quirk misuse Kakashi knows the people here, for whatever reason, are leery when it comes to using their abilities. To the point where they actively outlaw it. He is banking on Wada being sympathetic enough not to push the matter.  

Wada sighs again, “I’ll write it up as accidental use this time. Now. If your quirk lets you remember everything perfectly then what about your past memories. Any change on that front?”

“No. Still gone.”

“I see. That might mean the part of the brain linked to its memorisation function was damaged, disrupting the memories stored by the quirk,” Wada rubs his chin thoughtfully, “We’ll have to run a few more tests…a lot easier now that we know what it does I suppose.” Good. That was the conclusion he wanted Wada to come to.

“Alright, before we get to testing, were there any other side effects. Aches, pains, fatigue?”

Even as the man asks, he is pulling out a familiar penlight to shine in Kakashi’s regular eye.

“No. Nothing.”

What follows is his standard check-up routine. His vitals are recorded, his head checked over, the area around his sharingan examined thoroughly. Again. Well, as thoroughly as it could be examined without uncovering it. Next is an inspection of the chest wound he now knows is from Obito alongside a glance over his shoulder, arm and leg. Wada nods to himself as he goes, signalling that all is well.

“Your blood pressure is a little high for my liking. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep much last night what with how you were messing around with your quirk. Make sure you get a good night’s sleep tonight,” Wada instructs as he fits Kakashi with a padded eyepatch instead of the usual wrap of bandages. He pauses to wait for a nod of confirmation.

“I will,” he blatantly lies. Kakashi hasn’t had a proper night sleep since waking up the first time, dozing for shortened intervals only. With so many squishy doctors around he doesn’t want to accidently hurt one of them should he be woken from a nightmare. It did put additional strain on his body.

Doctor Wada peers at him, “We’ll give you another week of monitoring then get some authorised quirk testing done. A brain scan as well. Depending on what we find, we’ll see what we can do about getting you a diagnosis and then discharged.”

“Hmm,” he answers, noncommittally. Not like he has anywhere else to go until then. If this were Konoha, he would have taken off long before now and seen to his remaining injuries alone. This would be the first time in a long while that he is waiting for an official discharge. 

Guess he would be finding out how the hospital dealt with amnesiac patients after they healed. In Konoha, a displaced citizen would be given a menial labour job as part of the village’s many reconstruction projects and sent on their way. But this wasn’t Konoha and he should really stop with the comparisons.  

He needs to decide what he wants to do: Take off, find somewhere secluded and wait the years out. Or hang around to try and salvage the situation. This world did have a lot of interesting technology so there might be value in getting a better feel for the society here. Maybe he would find something useful to take back as an apology for abandoning everyone…

What a mess this all was.

...

...

...

The following week has Kakashi splitting his time between gathering supplies for a chakra storage seal and reading through Wada’s patient files to get a sense for his upcoming quirk tests and ‘brain-scan.’

He also takes the time to read through everything else Wada has in his office - mainly medical journals - to better understand the biological differences inherent in a place without chakra. Primarily, the people were physically weaker. However, there were a lot of mutations or ‘secondary quirk factors’ which reinforced the body to better deal with the stress of the primary quirk. All interesting and potentially relevant information to remember when he got into fights. Once he knew a person’s quirk he would be able to guess how their body was reinforced and act accordingly. A fire quirk would make someone naturally heat resistant but not impact resistant, is what Kakashi concludes as he re-reads the profile of current number two hero ‘Endeavour.’ The magazines gifted to him by Iori all contain a statistical breakdown of the top 10 heroes, their strengths, weaknesses, and their criminal apprehension and crime prevention rates. It is a list that rarely changes between issues. He commits it all to memory, idly planning out combat strategies that didn’t involve obvious ninjutsu or chakra use. It helps pass the time when he is not trying to make sense of what he sees on television or stalking various people around the hospital. 

At the end of the week, he steals Wada’s fountain pen, adding it to his growing pen hoard which he stashes in a vent on the roof. The storage seal he wants to make is complex and would need ink to complete.  A mix between a chakra-draining-seal-trap and a storage scroll, it is well on its way to completion. 

The seal would drain his chakra at a consistent and manageable rate, store it efficiently,  and give him a way to turn the chakra drain off and on at will. Also, as a precaution, he includes an emergency stop in case his chakra levels became dangerously low, so it didn’t accidentally kill him if he fell unconscious.

The seal would need to be positioned somewhere on his body in a spot where the doctors wouldn’t immediately notice. He doesn’t what to explain why he suddenly has a tattoo.  If he had had access to properly made fūinjutsu ink, the seal would be invisible. Alas, he would have to make do with chakra-infused pen ink.

Kakashi manages to keep himself busy enough that he expertly avoids making any concrete decision on what he wants to do with the next three years.

.

Note: this is slowly turning into a medical drama

NEXT

[dirty-holy-things]

The Space Between (your heart & mine)

Chapter 18 has been posted to Ao3, and below to Tumblr.

Catch up on chapters 1-17 on Ao3.

Notes: This fic is 18+ and explicit. This chapter includes canon-typical violence and description of injuries. This is a very heavy and emotional chapter that explores feelings of grief, and while the ending of this chapter is positive (trying to avoid spoilers), please exercise caution if this is a sensitive subject. I will say though, that for all of the pain I may put y'all and these characters through, we will have a happy ending.

Words: 5.9k update, 86.8 total.

If you would like to be added to my taglist, please fill out this form!

Din nodded wordlessly at the man before moving to exit the shop; his business here was completed, and now it was time to go home. To go back to you, to hold and kiss you, and to try and keep this exciting new secret to himself. As his footsteps landed on the volcanic gravel of the city street, his attention was abruptly drawn to a loud crack and crumbling sound that echoed off of the buildings around him. The intrusive and unexpected sound snapped him right into high alert, needing to know the source of the sound — and needing to know where you were, if you were safe.

His feet couldn’t seem to move fast enough as he rushed through the streets, sidestepping merchant carts, droids, and young children that played without concern for the unexpected noise. His mind raced with ideas of all of the horrible things that could’ve happened to you — what if you got stuck in the middle of a shootout? What if something collapsed and you were crushed by it? What if someone had attacked you? He tried to recall if you had told him where you were going, before you had exited the cantina earlier; but despite wracking his brain, he couldn’t remember anything that offered any consolation or comfort. He wished that his feet would move as quickly as his mind was; his breathing grew more labored as he drew closer and closer to where he believed the sound to have come from.

“He looks through the wound of my life like it’s light. So I let him.” — Omotara James, Pier 52

Din’s fingers drummed ceaselessly on the sticky tabletop in the cantina, just wanting this exchange of pleasantries with Karga to be over so he could return home to you. What should have been a fifteen minute meeting turned into an hours-long event; at this point, having worked for the guild for countless years, Din knew he should expect this, but it still didn’t stop him from wishing for something better. These meetings were admittedly much more enjoyable when you accompanied him, as you were able to draw much of Karga’s attention and conversation, allowing Din to withdraw from the exchange; at least, until Karga made a comment out of turn, or a tasteless joke and Din had to remind him of the concept of boundaries. These meetings were a necessary evil, and yet you had somehow made even the more frustrating and mundane parts of his life into something exciting and enjoyable. You had brightened every aspect of his existence through your presence alone; your radiance was never lost on him.

Din was finally able to wrap things up with Karga, having successfully negotiated the next round of bounties after the man had been loosened up by a few drinks. Din was excited to share the upcoming destinations with you — he loved seeing the way that you lit up when you were exploring, learning, flourishing. He had feared before that he was holding you back, by keeping you to himself, but you were incredibly strong and fiercely independent, and you pursued your own interests and ideas with a determination that continually impressed him.

Din excused himself from Karga’s presence, having one more matter to attend to before returning to the ship to wait for you to rejoin him. He exited the cantina with a sigh of relief, happy to be freed of the space that was somehow both empty and all too full at the same time. The ground he walked on here was familiar, but his steps felt lighter now than they ever had before. It felt as though something had lifted the weight that resided on his shoulders, a weight that he hadn’t known existed until he met you.

Din had loved seeing the way that you had grown throughout your shared travels; you were like a sponge, soaking up everything the universe had to offer you. He loved seeing the way you lit up when you talked to him about the historical texts you had picked up, loved seeing you get excited by all of this new and undiscovered information. He was also somewhat secretly relieved that you were no longer thrusting yourself into unsafe situations simply in the name of profit; and once you had seen his somewhat disorganized but impressive financial records, you had come to the understanding that the bounty profit resulting from your assistance was... not entirely necessary. Being a man of few interests and slim personal expenses, he had been taking in almost purely profit from every job he had for nearly twenty years. He regularly supported the covert, ensuring that the foundlings could be cared for, but the money he had retained for himself had continued to grow over the years with very little to deplete it. He had never felt the need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on himself before; he hadn’t needed anything other than the Razor Crest and his beskar.

And now, all he truly needed was you and the kid. The ship, as significant as it was, was simply a vessel for the memories the three of you created there. It certainly held value and was special in its own right, but at the end of the day it was a mechanized hunk of metal and fuel. The memories created there would not continue to exist exclusively within the walls of the cabin — they would live on within the three of you. The ship wasn’t home — you and the kid were home, whether you were on Nevarro or Naboo. Steel was only ever steel; spirit was not as confined.

And that was precisely why he was meeting with a merchant to discuss the procurement of a new ship. Something nicer, newer, with better accommodations and more comforts than the Razor Crest could ever hope to offer. Din felt as though he couldn’t give you much in this lifetime, aside from love; he couldn’t turn back time to erase your past, couldn’t give you the tools needed to connect with the Force, couldn’t truly even give you the sight of his face. But he could do this; he could give you this.

He felt confident walking into the office of the local Bureau of Ships and Services liaison. Din knew that coordinating a purchase and acquisition of this magnitude would likely be more business and commission than this man had ever received in his lifetime; and while he knew that there would be a delay as he was not going through the primary office on Coruscant, he was quite relieved to be operating without their greedy and slick influences.

He made his needs clear to the nervous man that met with him; the small, thin man avoided eye contact with the narrow visor of Din’s helmet, and the thermal sensor indicated to Din that the man was sweating profusely throughout their entire interaction. Reviewing necessary requirements and components of this future ship, Din stated that he certainly needed something functional for work as a bounty hunter — hyperdrive, room for an armory and carbonite cargo — but he also wanted something with a galley, private quarters, something that would be nice for you. The man’s hands shook as he searched to find something that would meet these specifications, before eventually suggesting a S-161 yacht that would offer Din “both domestic and business spaces,” to quote the nervous man.

Din looked at the image of the ship that was projected onto the screen in front of him. The sleek shape and structure of the ship was certainly a departure from the bulkiness of the Razor Crest, but when he saw the interior cabin space, he could clearly picture you and Grogu playing in the lounge area; he could see both of your bodies occupying the larger bed space; he could see all of the memories that were yet to come.

Din paid the full amount for the ship upfront, and the man’s face went a bit green at the sight of so many credits. The man’s voice wavered as he informed Din that it would be about three or four weeks before the ship was available and accessible on Nevarro; and this was perfect as it would allow him time to complete the next round of newly-negotiated jobs, before bringing you back here for a surprise. He tried to picture the look on your face when he revealed the new ship to you; he was excited to see how you would react to the lounge area with a couch, a bed bigger than a data pad, everything shiny and new... and waiting for you and Din to christen all the untouched surfaces.

Before leaving, Din informed the man of one additional and seemingly superficial request. “I would like for something to be installed, that would allow one to... grow flowers. An artificial light of some sort.”

He recalled an off-handed comment that you had made about you can’t grow flowers in space, and how you had shared with him that your mother had taught you about floristry — it seemed to be one of the few positive connections you had to your past, and Din wanted to give you the ability to reconnect with this piece of your history, in a new and healthier way.

“S-sure, I’m sure something can be added to allow for that.” Din could hear the confusion and curiosity in the man’s voice, but luckily he knew well enough to keep his nose out of Din’s personal business. Didn’t need to know why a Mandalorian wanted to grow daisies.

Din nodded wordlessly at the man before moving to exit the shop; his business here was completed, and now it was time to go home. To go back to you, to hold and kiss you, and to try and keep this exciting new secret to himself. As his footsteps landed on the volcanic gravel of the city street, his attention was abruptly drawn to a loud crack and crumbling sound that echoed off of the buildings around him. The intrusive and unexpected sound snapped him right into high alert, needing to know the source of the sound — and needing to know where you were, if you were safe.

His feet couldn’t seem to move fast enough as he rushed through the streets, sidestepping merchant carts, droids, and young children that played without concern for the unexpected noise. His mind raced with ideas of all of the horrible things that could’ve happened to you — what if you got stuck in the middle of a shootout? What if something collapsed and you were crushed by it? What if someone had attacked you? He tried to recall if you had told him where you were going, before you had exited the cantina earlier; but despite wracking his brain, he couldn’t remember anything that offered any consolation or comfort. He wished that his feet would move as quickly as his mind was; his breathing grew more labored as he drew closer and closer to where he believed the sound to have come from.

Din came to a halt in front of a crumbling building, the entire west-facing wall having collapsed into itself; the dust from the destruction filled the air around him and he searched the scene with a furious desperation, needing to know what had happened, needing to know if you were here. Through the ash and dust that choked out the fading light of the sunset, Din saw a familiar frame that he would have recognized anywhere — and his heart leapt into his throat as he screamed out your name in fear and all-encompassing terror.

He tried to run towards you, needing to have his hands on you, needing to know that you were alright — but as he drew closer, the air around him felt heavier; it was as if he was trying to run through quicksand, his movements slowed, and requiring more force and exertion than they should have. It was as if there was some sort of barrier around you, preventing Din from getting any closer; and eventually, his ability to move towards you stopped entirely, an unseen and impenetrable wall keeping you apart from him.

But from this vantage point, being about five feet away from you, he could see that you were not alone in this crumbling alleyway. There was a hulking, almost-human looking man with gnarled and rough grey skin, with an evil-looking axe clutched in his massive fist; but something about this scene was... off. The man was large, but there was no discernible reason why his form should be elevated so far above yours.

The pieces finally came together when Din saw that you were standing in front of the man, feet planted firmly on the ground while your arm extended in front of you, muscles straining as your hand was balled into a tight fist...

The man was a marionette on strings, and you were the one puppeting him.

Din felt a sense of horror radiate through him with this realization, but in addition to the churning mix of fear and horror, there was also a tidal wave of relief that hit him as he realized that you were at least not the one in danger. He continued to scream your name, modulator cracking, but even as his vocal cords became hoarse and raw with the strain you never turned to face him; your gaze remained trained on the man who was levitating within your unseen grasp.

The man was desperately dragging his hands across his throat, as if he was trying to remove an invisible noose that had wrapped around it; Din saw the man’s eyes continue to bulge within his awful looking face, blood vessels popping with strain, before Din turned his gaze back to you and watched a rivulet of blood run through your fingers and down your twitching arm, spattering onto the ground below you.

He had never seen anything like this from you before; it was terrifying but he felt as though he couldn’t look away. Din realized that he had really only ever known you as an incredibly kind and gentle person, and that previous image of you now stood out in stark contrast to this indulgently violent, vengeful storm of a woman who held her ground before him. Every image he had of you was turned on its head, taking on additional depth and dimension, as he began to understand that there was much more to your personhood than just your affection and sweetness.

While he had never rushed to dismiss the past abuse you had suffered, he rarely had to confront the knowledge that you had lived a life of extreme and unyielding violence in the twenty-some years before you met him. Of course you would be capable of these things when under duress; he recalled that he had watched you stab the leader of a drug cartel within the his first few hours of knowing you. At the time he had written it off as self defense, and it certainly still was; but he may have been a bit naive to assume that would be the only episode of violence in your life. Maybe there was a piece of him that didn’t want to acknowledge that this facet of you existed; but whether he wanted it or not, it was a part of you... and yet he loved it all just the same.

He felt entirely helpless and useless as he looked on at the scene before him; he couldn’t breach the Force barrier that you had thrown up around yourself and the Delphidian man, but fuck, he couldn’t walk away from you either. In his peripheral, he could see that a small crowd of onlookers had gathered, curious and fearful eyes watching the dramatic scene play out in the town. Mind racing, Din needed to decide what to do — try and fend off the crowd, shield you from prying and intrusive eyes? Or would he continue to fight against this barrier in front of him, never abandoning his original mission of reaching you?

As Din was debating the options at hand, the tension of the moment came to a head and crashed like a tsunami throughout the demolished alley and its crowd of onlookers. And yet despite the deafening, instantaneous crash, it was as if the galaxy was simultaneously moving in slow motion; Din could almost feel the muscles in your forearm and hand constrict, as your wrist brought your bleeding fist into your chest; and the distinct and undeniable crack of bone made his skin crawl. He was no stranger to the sounds of death, but hearing it come from your actions made his stomach turn. His eyes were glued onto you, glued onto the scene that was rapidly unfolding in the wake of his inaction; he saw the hateful and fiery light behind the man’s eyes snuff out as the life left him. Din was familiar with death; he had brought about more bloodshed than was worth weighing, but seeing a life extinguished at your bidding was...

He couldn’t find the words, despite his best efforts. A torrent of emotions was tearing through him, ravaging every previously-held notion and shaking him to his foundations.

The barrier that had separated Din from you finally gave way, same as the Delphidian’s spine had. The invisible Force wall collapsed to the bloodied ground just as the man’s body did, and the sudden disappearance of resistance in the air caused Din to lurch forward into you, his arms extending outwards as he saw you sway precariously. Your full weight landed against his chest as you collapsed into his arms, and then two of you tumbled to the ground, the metallic sound of beskar clanging within the crumbled stone that surrounded you while he tried to cradle your broken-looking body gently.

Din recovered quickly from the fall, shifting to rest on his knees as he brought your limp form closer to him, your head coming to rest on his lap. He cursed the layers of armor and clothing that kept you separate, needing to feel the heat of the blood rushing through your body, needing to feel the gentle rise and fall of your chest with each inhale and exhale. The way that your head lolled and rolled across him brought about a wave of terror and nausea as he worried that maybe he had been too late, maybe you were gone.

But he could still feel a faint and desperately-sought pulse beneath his gloved fingertips; he held onto this flickering bit of hope and pulled your body in closer to his chest, turning the two of you away from the observing crowd and the crumpled, distorted form of the man you had killed. He continued to hold you against his chest for an unknown amount of time, being paralyzed by the fear that any movement may disrupt the tenuous connection you held to this life; he was not sure how long he had stayed like this, cradling you against him, but it felt as though the moment stretched into eternity.

Din knew he couldn’t face the prospect of life in this galaxy without you. You had fundamentally altered and rewritten every piece of his existence, and he refused to go back to the life he had lived before he had met you. That previous life now seemed dull, almost as if it had existed in black and white, before that fateful day he had arrived in your shop — and since that chance meeting, you had brought all of the colors of life rushing to him, pinks and oranges and yellows and blues and greens and purples, a brightness that he had never felt before and worried he would never experience again without you. A life in black and white is an excruciating exercise in deprivation, after having experienced the beauty of technicolor.

And he couldn’t even begin to fathom the devastation that Grogu would experience, if you never returned home. The kid had taken to you as though you were his mother, and the thought of having to tell him that you were never coming back threatened to break Din’s heart just as irreparably as the Delphidian’s neck. Din knew that neither himself or Grogu would ever recover from this sort of loss, and it only made him cling to you even more desperately, praying to every god in existence that you would come back to him. He recalled how he had previously come to the conclusion that he would certainly lay down his life to save yours; and he now feared that he would never have the opportunity to save you as you had once saved him. He couldn’t use the Force to bring you back, he had no medical training to speak of, he felt entirely paralyzed by his lack of knowledge — and paralyzed by the idea that both he and Grogu, having been brought back to life by your hands, would now be the only living vessels for your spirit, the only proof that you had existed and had loved them wholly.

Din was anchoring every ounce of his hope to the faintly beating pulse of your heart when he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder, the unexpected weight of it pulling him out of his reverie. His body turned to face this sudden intrusion, ready to fight whatever had disturbed his connection to you; until he saw the familiar face of Cara Dune, a concerned and saddened look on her face as she surveyed the state that you and Din had found yourselves in.

“We need to get her out of here.” Her deep and gentle voice somehow managed to cut through to Din, bringing him back into the present moment. She was right — he needed to get you out of here, needed to get you home, just as he had intended hours ago. You needed to recover at home, in the small bunk that now reflected the shape of your two bodies; needed to recover in the comfort of your own sleep clothes; needed to move away from the destruction you were now resting in.

Although Cara’s assessment was correct, Din’s shoulders cowed into yours, hunched by the overwhelming fear that any disturbance might be the thing to take you away from him. His head shook in response, the fear overtaking any sense of logic or reason; as Cara’s hands moved to your shallowly breathing chest, he growled and pulled you closer to him, feeling the limp structure of your body clashing with the unyielding beskar that covered him.

“Let us help you,” Cara enunciated softly, the concern evident in her voice. “She needs to recover at home, not here in an alleyway.”

Cara had always been good at finding the words that rubbed Din just the wrong way. She was right in her assessment that continuing to stay here, in the mess of blood and rubble, would not help you; but he also couldn’t stop the pressure that leapt into his throat as fear flooded his body, being terrified of hurting you further. She stepped in closer, her hands coming to rest at the bend of your knees, a subtle offering to assist with carrying you back to the Razor Crest, back home. Din pushed away his fear and shifted his focus to what you needed, not what his feelings needed. You needed Din to bring you home.

He felt broken, stuttered sobs wrench free from his chest as he stood up, gently cradling your upper body against him; the tears flowed freely behind the beskar, and he knew that nobody could see his blatant and unashamed display of emotions; but truthfully, he wouldn’t have cared, his concern for you outweighing any sense of self preservation or dedication to reservation. He was grateful that Cara kept her eyes to the ground, however, not trying to force a visual connection when he was clearly already distraught.

Din and Cara carried your body ever so gently into the cabin of the Razor Crest, being conscious of every bump and every step, before settling you softly into the comfort of the small bunk. The very same bunk that you had transformed from a place of functionality, to a place of love and sensuality. Din couldn’t imagine sleeping here, without you next to him.

Your body instinctively curled in on itself, recognizing the comfort of the bunk; your limbs drew closer as if you were retracting inwards to form a shield against the outside world. This innate and insistent need to protect yourself, that continued to present itself in even the most dire circumstances, broke a piece of Din’s heart that he hadn’t even known had existed. Watching your broken body fight for every breath, Din felt the need to do something to feel as though he was helping; he lifted your head up to allow you to rest you more comfortably on the singular and previously shared pillow, positioning you in the same way that he had seen you rest countless times before. Din cautiously and carefully tucked away the strands of hair that had fallen across your face, before pulling the woolen blanket tightly around your slowly breathing form; he tucked the corners of the blanket in around your body, knowing how you preferred to be wrapped snugly within.

Din had remained crouched next to the bunk, staying close to you so he could continue to watch your shallow but steady breaths, the rise and fall of your chest being the only solace he received during this whole ordeal. He waited for the color to return to your cheeks, watched for any fluttering of your eyelids that would indicate an awakening. He timed the breaths that you took, each shortened interval causing him to panic that something had gone horribly wrong.

Cara and Karga had been his saving grace throughout this entire ordeal as the days passed. The combined efforts of the duo had convinced Din to move from your side for long enough to shower, to use the restroom, to eat something and drink some water. Their coaxing reminded him that he couldn’t do much to help you if he was suffering as well. You seemed to rest in the bunk for an eternity, never tossing and turning as you usually would.

Din’s muscles had settled into the tragically familiar position of sitting next to you in the bunk, when Cara and Karga finally approached him to discuss the event that had occurred, unable to avoid it any further after countless hours had passed. Cara was the first to speak, her voice echoing softly throughout the cabin of the ship. “Bragant was a wanted target. She didn’t do anything wrong, by killing him, but I have a duty to report his death to the registers of the New Republic.”

Karga nodded at Cara’s statement. “He was wanted by many, and had a bounty on his head. I will pay you both for the body and its recovery.”

Din nodded wordlessly; he was not concerned about the man in the alleyway, was not concerned about any payment, was not concerned about anything except when you may come back to him. Your breaths had been even and steady for hours, and yet you had not woken up. He feared that you had suffered an irreparable, soul-shattering crisis and would never recover from this; and if that were the case, he still knew that he would never leave your side, preferring to waste away next to you rather than try and live a horrifically shallow life without you.

As several uncounted and painful hours had passed, Din waiting impatiently by your side, Din felt a shift within the steel walls of the Razor Crest, a gentle hum spreading throughout the ship and its inhabitants. Din’s gaze focused in on your face, searching for an explanation or answer about what was happening, what he was somehow feeling. After what had quite possibly been an eternity, your eyes fluttered open, pupils blown wide and disoriented as your gaze roamed around the location you had found yourself in.

Din choked on the laughter and tears that this moment had brought him, the overwhelming feeling of joy, relief, and disbelief crashing over him like an avalanche, drowning out all of the fear and desperation and hopelessness he had been experiencing just minutes earlier. Din thought he had previously cried out every tear that his body had to offer, but as he saw the light retuning to your eyes, the beautifully familiar eyes that focused in on the man they loved, he felt sobs cracking forth form his chest anew, threatening to break him in half — but this time, with the weight of happiness and relief. His hands reached out to cradle your face, loving how he could finally feel the heat of the blood that had returned to your cheeks. His head came down to rest against your chest as he cried with his whole body, shaking and sobbing as he whispered your name over and over, sending thanks to whatever deity or Force had deigned to bring you back to him, to bring you back home.

“Din,” you whispered, your voice hoarse and cracking; and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, more beautiful than the first time you spoke his name, more beautiful than the sounds you made in bed, more beautiful than your first confession of love for him. “Din, what happened?”

He could hear the nervousness in your voice, and as you had just returned to him, he was loathe to talk about something so terrible, to taint the joy that had filled the small cabin once again. His thumbs traced pressured circles into your soft body, his head continuing to rest at your side. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he sighed, his voice sounding strained and pressured through the tears. “Not tonight, please.”

You nodded and conceded easily, and amidst all of the upheaval of the moment he couldn’t help but laugh as he realized this was likely the first and last time you would ever give in so easily. You were beautifully, infuriatingly, insistently stubborn and he loved every single ounce of fight that burned within you. That same stubbornness kept you alive on Chandrila, brought Din back from the brink of death, taught you and Grogu new skills, and today that same fight and fire had brought you home once again. He would never, ever take a single second of your stubbornness and resilience for granted again.

Din could feel the echo of footsteps coming up behind him, and as his body shifted he felt his muscles and joints cry out with exhaustion; he had no idea how long he had been waiting here next to you, but his body seemed to have counted each second, each day, resentfully. As he repositioned himself, his aching body settled into the floor, his back being propped up against the side of the bunk as he tried to progressively stretch the muscles that he had previously irritated.

Cara and Karga had joined the happy and exhausted scene, the relief evident in their soft smiles. “Glad to have you back with us,” Karga said with a laugh, the corners of his dark eyes crinkling as he looked on at the two of you.

“Gave us quite the scare,” Cara added, before moving to pass a canteen of water to Din. He had come across very few individuals in this galaxy that he cared for, and he now realized that he was exceptionally grateful to know both Cara and Karga, as they had taken care of him during this period of upset, which in turn enabled Din to take care of you. And in a roundabout way, this had also allowed for them to take care of you. He wouldn’t have guessed that these two abrasive and tough individuals would make such an effort, would care for you in this way; but then again — the man hidden in a fortress of beskar hadn’t been impervious to your light and your charms, so it should come as no surprise that others loved you too. For all of your past injuries and mysteries, you were incredibly easy to love and willing to love others back with your whole heart.

Din brought the canteen up to you, encouraging you to have some water. The tenderness with which he cradled your head in the crook of his elbow and brought the lip of the container up to you shocked him a bit, as he hadn’t believed that someone as broken and violent as he was, could still have the capacity to show this much kindness. But clearly, you brought out the best in those around you; every individual in the ship could attest to that.

“The little guy can stay with me again tonight, so the two of you can get some rest,” Cara offered, knowing that both you and Din had a long road to recovery. “We can talk about things more tomorrow.”

Karga nodded in agreement. “My previous offer still stands, as well. But that’s a matter for another day. For tonight, find rest and happiness. The world will keep spinning in the meantime, and we’ll catch up with it tomorrow.”

The duo left the ship without any additional commentary, not wanting to intrude or disrupt the hazy sense of peace and exhaustion that had settled on the scene. As Din heard the ramp to the ship close, the cabin grew dark and quiet as it had so many times before — he had been terrified that he may have to face this darkness alone, but you were still here. From his seated position, he pried the armor off of himself; even these simple and routine actions felt exhausting, but he knew that the nightmare was coming to a close and he would be able to join you in bed shortly. You had drifted back to sleep as Din had readied himself for bed; a faint snore was coming from your sleeping form. As he stood and pulled off his dirty clothing, he paused before getting into bed with you. There was something else he wanted to do first.

His calves and his lower back cried out as he walked across the dimly-lit cabin, to the corner that held your things; he gathered your favorite maroon-colored sleep clothes and your medical kit, before crossing back over to the bunk that you slept in. He carefully brought your injured hand closer to him, before cleaning the cuts that your nails had made; he put on a salve that he had seen you use for wounds before, and then wrapped your palm securely with gauze. He repeated the same steps for the wound that was on your chest, placing a large adhesive bandage over the area. He would’ve given anything to be able to use the Force to heal you, as you had done for him numerous times; how infuriating that something so purportedly pervasive and innate was also so fickle and finicky.

Feeling confident enough in his medical administrations, he then began to exchange your dirtied and damaged clothes with the soft, comforting fabric of the sleep clothes. He moved slowly, not wanting to disrupt or scare you; and he felt incredibly grateful for each beat of you heart that he could feel throughout your body, could feel pulsing underneath your skin.

He finally moved to join you in the bunk, shifting your pliant and willing body to allow him room to rest next to you; as he sunk into the cushions, he wrapped the two of you in the blanket like a cocoon. He realized a bit belatedly that he had left a light on in the cabin, the faint light casting the room with a yellow glow; he knew he should get up to turn it off, seeing as how he had removed his helmet; but as you nestled closely against him, he decided to let it be.

He kissed you repeatedly and ceaselessly, feeling endlessly grateful that this chapter of your shared story had ended on such a hopeful and positive note, when it could have ended in tragedy. He wanted to sink his teeth into this moment, to feel the joy that burst from it like an overripe fruit that falls from the vine. He knew that as long as he lived, he would never tire of this sweetness.

He sighed your name into the nape of your neck, and whispered a soft ‘I love you.’

Your eyebrow raised at his words, allowing for one of your eyelids to open ever so marginally before it drifted closed again; a quiet, “I love you, Din,” passing through your lips with an exhale.

[damfinofanfiction]

Chapter 14: Hollywood or Bust...er.

Here’s the full and a update to the latest chapter! Just to let you know, having outlined the story for a while, things will get romantic in chapter 16 and will get naughty in chapter 20!!! I don't know if Chapter 14′s good enough but I did my best. Enjoy!

Another note is at the end of the chapter.

As stated in the article of a Local Paper; Five people hurt in a car crash. Two women and three men were involved in a low-rate car crash when they were driving from the Biltmore Hotel for the party in honor of Mack Sennett. There were no fatalities but there were some minor bruises and concussions. Ralph F. Staub, the driver of a T- Ford who suffered a broken nose, blamed the incident on bit player and former Sennett Bathing Beauty Gayle Anders for distracted driving. As a result of the impact, Miss Anders was reported to have injured her arm. While the others had slightly recovered and have been sent home, Anders will be on the mend for weeks following a release from the Good Samaritan Hospital this morning. Her recent project is Harold Lloyd’s upcoming film, The Freshman, due to be out this September. She remains hopeful to be back in the movies after her arm is fully recovered.

Having read this in his office, Buster shook his head in pity, with a notion that she might be unable to work with him. “Oh, Gail.”

**************************

Just as the evening began, Sally ran out of the Bungalow with the burning Trout on the casserole dish. Gail aired out the smoke by opening the windows. As a last resort, she threw the fish from the dish on the ground and used the gravel dug from the area to extinguish the small flames.

“Damn it,” Sally said examining the crisp charred remains after putting it out. She turned to her friend, “Sorry Bae, guess I underestimated the baking time.”

Gail added disappointedly, "And it was a nice fish."

Since Gail came home from the hospital, it wasn’t easy for her to live with a broken humerus. Sally offered to help on the days it doesn’t intervene with her job. Not only the blonde did it out of loyalty but also as a amend to what happened last month.

Upon going inside, Sally threw away the ruined casserole dish and comforted Gail who hunched in despair, “Buck up, We’ll still have dinner. If only Auntie isn’t out playing bridge and Bertha didn’t take a day off.” Bertha, that she referred to was her and Lenore’s Maid.

When the Friends decided on take-out, Sally left to pick up the food while Gail stayed behind because she didn't feel comfortable going out in her state. As the table was already set in advance, the dark-haired woman was left to retreat to her couch and wrapped herself in a blanket because she felt a breeze from the open window.

Gail wasn't feeling herself after the accident in the past week. It was like grief. She barely slept the night, has a small appetite, doesn't smile much, and doesn't say much. Although she has endured a series of unfortunate events for the last few months, breaking her arm was difficult to cope with. Gail tried to sob and cry to let it out of her system, but couldn't do it. That didn't stop her from trying again while she was alone.

Her attempts to release her emotions were interrupted when she noticed a shadow passing by from the front window, "Sal?" she called.

A male baritone voice replied, “Close enough.”

She sat up straight when he swayed to the window, revealing his familiar face, “Buster!”

He chuckled while resting his arms on the windowsill, “Good seeing you too. You seem well.”

Gail would ask him how did he found her site but remembered she had sent him an updated resume with a change of address recently. She nervously said, "I didn't expect you to show up."

He sighed, “I know, I should have told you I was coming, but work was finished early and I thought you could go for a surprise.” Gail found it funny that the last time she had seen him was when he rode with her so she could get home safely and now he was at her window unannounced. He asked, “So are you going to let me in or should I climb through the window?”

“Oh!” She hastily sat up and opened the door and let Keaton in to avoid being mistaken for a break-in if he had entered through the window. After having received flowers and get-well cards from friends and family, she was grateful for a visitor. When she opened the door, he was wearing a hazel suit with a white buttoned shirt underneath and a grey flat cap. He coughed in response to the smoke when he was in a kitchen area.

“Sorry, Sally burnt our dinner.” She explained while closing the door and the window curtains, “She had doused the fire out on the yard.”

“That explains the black mark out on the yard,” he pulled out a handkerchief from his shirt pocket to cover his mouth.

Gail retreated to her bedroom where she traded the blanket for her light blue buttoned sweater while Buster looked around. She called to him, “I guess you must have read about the accident in the papers?”

He responded, “Yes, though they didn’t get your name right.”

Gail intended to write a note to Buster about what happened to her but didn’t have any idea what to say as evidence of the trash bin full of the crumpled-up papers by her bed. “Well, the reporter was in a rush and didn’t have time to correct my name anyhow.”

Then Gail checked herself in the mirror. Her sleeveless day dress was alright. The curls on her locks were uneven, but she didn't mind because he had seen her unkempt hair on the train. Her makeup wasn’t too bad either, grateful that Sally had helped her earlier that day, otherwise, she couldn't do it with one arm. She only reapplied her lipstick before returning to the comedian.

“So this must be your new home,” Buster said as he sat on the armchair while she returned to her couch.

“I came across it in a newspaper. I found the name of the street familiar because I used to go around looking for a part in the pictures.”

“Had the others moved here as well?” he asked.

“No, just me. Sally’s only a helper. She tried her best and I’m grateful for that." Gail turned to the door, “Now I'm worried how she'll react to you once she gets back.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

She leaned towards him, “No no no, unless you have to go home.”

“No, I could stay for a bit at least before your other friend arrives.” it was then Gail noticed that her sling and cast were exposed from her opened sweater and tugged it back in due to her insecurity. From the look on Buster's face, it was obvious he had seen it before, no doubt from peeping at her while she was in the other room, “How long until your arm gets better?”

She was nervous to tell him but does so anyway, “If healed properly, the cast will be removed in a month. I may still wear a sling in addition to physical therapy."

“I’m awfully sorry that happened to you. At least it isn't the ankle.”

“Oh yeah, it happened to you.” Gail had almost forgotten of his injury some years ago before he brought it up.

“How could I forget?” He rested his foot to his knee to massage that very ankle, “There’s a scene from The Electric House where I ran on the moving staircase. That one step caught my slap shoe and before the stagehands could turn off the switch, my foot was dragged to the top, and the next thing I knew, my ankle was fractured.”

“That’s sounded awful,” Her voice was sympathetic.

“Yes, it was. I thought I was going to lose my foot, but thankfully I haven’t. Had to be out of commission for several weeks. They put me on bed rest, at least you can still move around. So anyway, long after my ankle is healed, we threw out the footage and started over.”

“When do you start filming?” What Gail knew from what he wrote to her weeks ago was that the production of Battling Butler was delayed until the end of the year and will be making an original story instead. Also, he’ll be working with a cow to which she thought was too ridiculous, if it wasn't a western.

He explained, “When we find a location for shooting and get everything ready, hopefully in June.”

Gail felt relieved, “Then, do I have a chance to be your co-star?”

He uncrossed his legs, “Well, About that.” Seeing his sullen look, Gail’s heart began to sink as it might be another case of the bad news.

It seemed he couldn’t find the words when he told her, “My boss Joe didn’t want me to hire you.” He sighed, “And he recommended me an actress from Dick Turpin, Kathleen Myers.” He assured her after she turned her face away from him, “It had nothing to do with your injury. It’s just that he preferred someone with experience as a leading lady.”

Gail felt sadness welling up in her throat and clenched her fist, “No, It’s definitely something to do with my arm!” She attempted to retreat to her bedroom, but being blinded by her tears caused her to collapse to her knees, and then she wept heavily. Her sobs made it impossible for her to hear Buster come up to her before he aided her to the dining table. She exclaimed, not making eye contact with the stone face, “I knew it, I knew it! I should’ve left home years ago, but I waited and waited for a chance to take me away like a chump I am!”

“You’re not a chump!”

“You don’t know that! I promised myself I would work with you, but I failed!” There were whimpers in her voice, “I couldn’t get cast in a cast!”

Keaton defended her, “It was only an accident.”

A teardrop ran across her cheek, “Which should I have prevented! This wouldn’t have happened if I was more careful.”

Her body shook as she cried again. Initially, Gail expected Buster to leave her to mourn, then she felt his hand rub on her back, then his arm wrapped around her, enabling her to huddle in for an embrace. With a scent of his cologne coming from between his shoulder and neck, her sobs became softer before they’re diminished. He patted her back a bit. She heard him say, “Gail, I wanted to work with you, I really have. Things aren’t always simple in Hollywood.”

She faced him again. He gave her his handkerchief when she began to rub her eyes. He brought her a glass of water from the dining table which he just filled up.

“Look at me”, he continued, “It took me three years in the film business before I started leading and directing comedies. How long you’ve been working on screen?”

She answered, “A year and a half.”

“That doesn’t seem so bad,” he placed his hand onto her cheek. “I’m sure things will turn out alright as soon as your arm heals. There’s still hope for us to work together once Schenck sees what you can do.”

With a sniff, she added, “And there’s still Battling Butler.”

“Yup that too.” he gave her a slight grin.

As she finished wiping her tears, Gail noticed the black smudges on his handkerchief “Have I messed up my makeup?” He responded with another nod. “Excuse me”, she got up to the countertop and brought out the bottle of olive oil, a remedy for running mascara.

He told her with the cloth in his hand,  “Allow me”

He added a dab of oil to his handkerchief and rubbed it onto her cheeks until they were clear.

“I might have unraveled your hair.” She pointed to the wavy part of his hair “Probably right there” she rose her right hand by his forehead, having her twirl the curl with her finger, “Perfect.” she said after stopping. Their eyes were fixated on each other. It was like that until they heard the key going in followed by the doorknob turning, the two then raced back to their respective seats.

Sally announced while opening the door and holding the big brown bag, “Hey Bae, took me longer to reach that take-out place, better to chow down while the food’s still hot.”

Gail was in her upright posture like nothing had happened, “Sal there’s a visitor.”

The blonde turned to Keaton who had just finished combing his hair, “Oh, shi-” She exclaimed, almost dropping the contents of the bag. Gail stood up to explain that the visit was a surprise to her as well and they were just talking in a professional matter. Buster also got up just to notify them he had to get home since it was almost six o'clock.

he turned to Gail, “One thing before I go, have you seen The Iron Mule?”

“No”

“My pal Roscoe actually directed it with a different name. It features someone I worked with back in the day and also watch out for that Indian.” he pointed to her, “You might find him familiar.”

she smiled, “Thank you for the visit.”

When he turned the doorknob and opened the door she just remembered something, "Wait!," She pulled out a notepad from the side table, wrote down her phone number, and tore it out to hand to Keaton. “No surprise visits next time. Okay?”

Buster nodded once, “Take care” he put on his hat and left her home as she waved.

Sally shrugged at her friend, “How the hell did he know where you live?”

She helped her unpack the take-out containers from the bag, “I’ll tell you over dinner and you owe me a dish.”

Gail was herself again, though embarrassed that she vented her emotions to her favorite comedian. What made her feel better wasn't the crying, but finding comfort in the object of her affection.

(sorry, I posted to my other account. I deleted it though.)

Note: I have to thank @trainrideswithbuster for giving me the idea that buster visits Gail while on the mend!

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

30. I Consent

Word Count: 5714   Previous

Whenever they had a chance to be together, she was pretty restrictive of what he could and couldn’t do. He felt almost like he was being trained for her pleasure... which was frustrating on some of his more needy nights, but any other time pretty hot because... well... she was Grace. Others didn’t stand a chance even being able to get a whiff of her and she would put it right in his face, sometimes allowing him to do something about it, sometimes seeing if he can follow rigid directions in a position like that. It made her smile, therefore, he enjoyed it to a certain degree. He kinda liked the torture at times. It was familiar to self harm, but in this instance, he actually got a treat sometimes, and the denial that he got at other times made for his longing to intensify. 

But, he had hurt her in the past and now she had to reassure herself that he respected all of her boundaries, even those that seemed unreasonable. He needed to confirm if he was capable of seeking out her affirmative consent, or if he was simply playing along with some games in order to get sweet satisfaction. If it were the latter, he was going to have to really work for it. She had already decided on at least a 3 month probation period, meaning he did not even pull his tool out for that long and she would reevaluate on Christmas Eve whether or not they were in a place of going further than her current boundaries.

Sometimes, he wondered if her boundaries were real, or if she set them up just to test him.

Either way, he was settling into his new position at work, managing a project that had been his baby for YEARS, and also able to set aside time to set up his workshop for his hobbies. 

Buying a big house was something his father advised him against, considering the cost of living in New York, the fact that he was “fickle,” and probably wouldn’t want to stay in New York once Grace was “done with him,” and that he wasn’t rich. Simon could afford the house that he bought. He wasn’t Monroe rich, but he did okay for himself considering his drawbacks and he was doing better all of the time. As his skill and success grew, so did his salary. He was confident that he wouldn’t harm himself with the purchase and comfortable about the size of it, because different moods needed different spaces. 

His workspace was specifically for working, with his desk with three laptops and all of the work things associated with it. He had his little home “lab” in the same room. Lab tables and equipment for projects and various prototypes were set on the workstation and there were cabinets of supplies and stock for various technological needs.

His study was a miniature library of sorts (he didn’t have a lot of physical copies of books, as most of those were available electronically), but he did have some - important ones that changed his life, ones he had written, ones he had been given as gifts, ones he had from when he was little, etc… and his reading nook was there, as well as his writing desk. 

His workshop would be mostly for his crafts. He designated the closet in there for his work tools - for house work and yard work and such, and the rest of it was going to be for all of his figures, whether wood or robotics. He had been jealous of his dad’s garage for a time, the way that everything was set just like he liked it and he had that space to himself just to delve into his model building. Simon determined at an early age, he’d have a designated space for his own passions too.

All of those rooms were set in different areas of the house, near the back. In fact, one had to pass by his study to get to the back porch… which was very big, and the backyard was even bigger. Grace used to indulge him when they were younger, and jokingly say, “I’d better stop spoiling you or you’ll get used to champagne taste.” The unspoken being understood by him - that he didn’t have the income for such taste. Instead of discouraging his tastes, it inspired his drive. Grace would always credit his good traits to, “Well, you’re a Leo-Virgo cusp. Of course you’re virtually perfect.” Simon didn’t buy that. Simon’s perfectionism was because he knew that he needed to be the best at everything that he was good at to be seen as worthy in those areas and to be taken seriously and ultimately be ahead of the curve for all of them. That was why he focused just as much on writing as he did building figures. That was why he focused just as much on engineering as he did writing. That was why he focused just as much on business skills as he did engineering. 

So, that despite the fact that he was not an ambassador’s kid, he could still hold his own when they were together. Course, Grace was focused on other things at the moment. He made a conscious decision to check in with her every day to see if she needed/wanted anything, if there was something aside from that he could do for her or Hazel, and just to see how she was faring. 

She was generally too busy, as she was working on her upcoming album release, and also mothering. Hazel was generally very close by or with her. She had a nanny, but Grace was very adamant about the nanny just being an extra pair of hands and eyes while she was busy, and not “a stand in mommy,” which… that couldn’t happen anyways, with the way that she tended to hover. Hazel had tried to talk to her about it, but Grace just didn’t know how to ease up. For that reason, Hazel was DELIGHTED that Grace was so busy with album business. 

She loved her and enjoyed their time together, but she really just wanted to breathe sometimes. She wanted an adventure sometimes that didn’t involve her mom. That didn’t much include meeting celebrities like musicians, singers, dancers and such… because as cool as that was, Hazel wasn’t that interested in those types of celebrities. However, she DID love the fact that she was on a first name basis with Shana, because she loved her shady videos and the way that she made news fun, as Shana didn’t just dish out trash… she was an actual journalist and spoke on current events and world issues. She was an activist and a public figure and more than the gossip persona the public generally associated her with. And, she let Hazel use bad words whenever she was with her.

But, Hazel really liked whenever she was able to meet authors, particularly ones that wrote sci fi and fantasy. As far as she was concerned, aside from Grace, the most impressive celebrity that she had met was Simon. He wasn’t as popular as he had been a few years ago, staying out of the limelight these days and slowly getting back into publishing work, but the first Book of Esmoroth had sentimental value to her. It got her through a lot of bad real life and let her escape to a world where harming children was punishable by death and the only adults ever mentioned either served or helped the children. That was a very nice fictional place to go whenever most of the adults in her real life had been absent or weary from her. Plus, she would have a hand in the future publications of the series and that was a great feat FOR HER. Simon had even put her name in the credits of Book 2 and told her that he was dedicating it to her.

“For Hazel, seen only as a child when she really is a beacon of wisdom and reflection. The Throne of Esmoroth shall be yours someday.” That was WONDERFUL! THAT was gonna be published soon!! 

She also liked that Simon was always available. She knew that it was because he wanted to impress her mom, but it was nice to have access to the one person who understood some of her less public ways a little bit more AND wanted to be on Hazel’s good side. Most of Grace’s friends were close enough that they knew her and got her (most of them knew her better than Simon, at this point in life), but they also were Grace’s friend first and Hazel’s associate second. They might see a need to tell Grace some of the stuff that she said, out of concern or duty or whatever. Simon… often struggled with that. 

Hazel could call him and tell him about kids at school and not have to worry that Grace would get a text and want to speak with the administration about things or worse - to the other kids’ parents. She could tell him when Grace was getting on her nerves and he would laugh about it and rarely ever reminded her that she was trying her best and a good mommy (she KNEW that. She didn’t need people telling her that. She needed to vent on the days that Grace was TOO much of a mommy). Turned out that while Hazel and Simon were very different types, they were similar in some ways that made them connect a little bit easier than she could with someone who was her parent. 

Of course, nobody would ever be as close to her as Grace and she could never love anybody more, even if she tried. At this point in life, Grace could probably leave her under a bush, and she’d spend the rest of her life trying to get back to her. She groaned at that thought. That was another thing that she could talk to Simon about and he understood it better than anybody else that she had ever met… that fear that maybe one day she would casually lose the most important person in her life. Maybe to her career, maybe to a love interest. Maybe to being tired of playing mommy… She had a very real and sometimes paralyzing fear of losing Grace. Simon understood it and always comforted her. That was when she DID need to hear what she already knew: Grace would never turn her back on you. If she ever accidentally put anything else first, she would fix it. What would not happen is that something would make her decide to ignore you or turn you away. Nothing is more important to Grace than you. And I should know. I used to be where you are. But, I messed that up. You’re really lucky. She loves you even more than she ever loved me.

“That’s not really true, you know… I was around when she was trying to get over you. I was around when she still loved you. After you hurt her… she still loved you. She learned to heal herself after being hurt, but you hurting her didn’t make her stop loving you.” 

He needed that too. He had been told so much by Grace before, but it just felt more genuine coming from a kid who hadn’t technically been affected by those events. He knew that Hazel had no reason to say anything but what actually happened/what she believed from her observations.

So, while Grace focused on her career, Simon built his life in New York, and Hazel got used to the other person who she had come to respect a lot. She and Grace stopped by for the tea parties, as the tea table and stuff were there. Lucy and Lindsey liked Simon’s house… mostly the fact that it had a yard. Lucy lived in a penthouse condominium and Lindsay lived in a brownstone with nothing more than a stoop and sidewalk outside. Simon found it a little bit funny that these rich girls didn’t have yards, but after thinking about how happy it made them (so happy that they usually forsook the tea party to play outside in the yard), it made him sad. THEY didn’t care about the brownstone or the condos… those were parental decisions that deprived them of playing out in a yard, even though their families could afford to…

“What are you thinking about?” Grace wondered, from the cushioned back porch swing that she was reading a book on while the tea party table sat next to her, abandoned by girls throwing fall leaves at each other. It was so damn cold, but Simon had an outdoor fireplace and it was in the perfect spot in proximity to this seat for her to claim it as hers for this event.

“How people try to make space in their world for kids, instead of letting their kids make space in their worlds,” he said. She made a confused face and set her book aside. He glanced at the book, shrugged his shoulders and expounded, “People will plan to have kids or maybe even not plan to, but wind up with them, nonetheless, and they cut out what they imagine to be a child sized space in their world, giving them a percentage of their physical space, a percentage of their mental space, emotional, etc… Then the kids shows up and they’re often larger than life. Some people aren’t able to accommodate it. That’s sad… but it’s sadder when they are able to accommodate it, and they… just don’t..” She frowned. Was he attacking her parenting in some way? Was he saying that she wasn’t doing something for Hazel that she needed to be? She was on the verge of insult when he started crying. “I just… If I would have been a better person… I might have a kid running around with them.” He took a deep breath, then laughed, “I’ll shut up.”

“No… it’s… fine. Do you want to talk about it?” He bit his lip. “I didn’t ask do you think you deserve to be able to talk about it, because I know how you think. You think that everything that you say to me is whining, but I don’t think that. So. Do you want to talk about it? I consent.” he smiled a little and moved closer to her, so that she sat up and they were next to each other with opposing knees pressed against each other. 

“I just… Sometimes, I’m upset that you didn’t tell me, but I also know that at that time, I wouldn’t have cared. I most likely would have responded as atrociously as i did about anything else, and then again, I always wonder, what if I didn’t? What if that could have been just the thing to help me see how fucked up I was and how fucked up I was being? What if knowing about them could have changed me then? Changed us?”

Grace nodded, waiting to see if he had more to say. He seemed finished. “To that, I say this… The way that you treat other people is how they might perceive you. Even if you say that could have changed you, I don’t think for one minute that it would have changed me. My trajectory was already affected by what had already taken place. I didn’t tell you, not only because I didn’t think that it would matter, I didn’t tell you because the flipside of that - that it might matter, that it might make you change, that it might change us… that was even more terrifying. The thought that someone could do the things that you did to me, then I might be faced with signing on to a commitment via a child with them… and just have to believe that they might be okay for us? The shoulda woulda couldas are behind me, because I know that even if I had told you, i still would have had an abortion, and I still would be at peace with that decision today. Because, for who we were and what happened, it was the best decision. It was a decision that in hindsight, I would have found to be the best decision, even if you were a better person. So… if you’re gonna be upset about it, the target is me. Because I would not have had a baby at that time, no matter the circumstances. Hell, I’m 23 and I don’t know that I want to have one now. Maybe 26, but who knows? I could reach 26 and think maybe 36. The thing about it is… that’s not on you. What you did affected me and us, but it didn’t affect that pregnancy or the outcome.”

“If I have a kid, can I name them Ivory?”

She flinched but shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t own the name… But, I’m probably gonna still name my first bio that.” 

He smirked. “They could be the same person…” 

“Yeah right. Kids playing in leaves is giving you baby fever at 23. You’re not gonna wait for whenever I’m ready to start producing one of those.”

“You’ve always struck me as a surrogate type,” he said.

“I absolutely am! Just the thought of the whole body changing, horrific ordeal that is pregnancy, and ultimately labor… just reads like a traumatic horror scene of gore and anguish. Now… I’m willing to pay good money for somebody else to do that, but the actual me doing it myself? I’ve read far too much about the subject matter to just want to. Anyways, they let Black women drop like flies in maternity mishandling all over the country. Someone would have to pay ME to have a baby, at this point.” 

Simon laughed at that thought, then stopped. “I promise, I am not laughing about black women dying in childbirth!”

Now, she chuckled a little, “I didn’t figure that you were…”

“How much would you charge for something like that?” Simon wondered.

“To have a baby? The surrogacy process generally costs 6 figures, Dude. My prestigious womb would be double the usual.”

He laughed and shook his head, “Wow. What if you fall in love? Like… what if you meet someone and you two want a family and you happen to get pregnant? It’s happened before.”

“Yeah, when I was a kid. I don’t have enough sex to facilitate that could happen to me again and if I was already in love and already with someone, they would know and I would know that me squeezing a baby out isn’t a current option, so we’d be placing preventative measures in place!”

“Preventative… So, if you’re feeling extra good with somebody you love and the mood is right and you’re both really feeling it and you have a whole hot night of being pumped full of nut, you wouldn’t be inclined to keep a pregnancy that came about from that?”

“First off, be less gross. Jesus. Secondly… There would be no pregnancy to come about from that, because that’s why scientists created the morning after pill.”

“Good to know. I’m gonna act a fool in there, since it won’t bother you either way,” he said. 

She knocked his knee with hers, “You just bought yourself longer probation.”

“I was joking! Partially…”

“You’re tryin’ to have a night of nutting in my immaculate womb and I’m not gonna give you a free to skeet pass!”

“OH MY GOD!” Hazel shrieked. Lucy was red in the face and Lindsey was cackling. 

Grace covered her face with both hands and Simon said, “That wasn’t what it sounded like… and you all are like… 10-11… it should have sounded like absolute gibberish to you in the first place!” 

“At what age do you think people know these things?” Hazel wondered.

“I don’t know… 13 sounds fine.”

“WHAT? You have to know about pregnancy and insemination as soon as your body is able to produce such things! Meaning, when periods start! Which, for most girls is between the ages of 10 and 16!!” 

“I’m sorry…” Simon said. “This was absolutely my fault. Do I need to call their parents and explain?” He asked Grace.

“They heard ME, not you!” She said. “And… I’m not saying anything unless someone’s mom calls me and asks.” 

Lucy shook her head, “I didn’t hear anything,” she said.

Meanwhile, Lindsay stated, “My mom’s career started in porn.”

Simon was red now, “Okay, well…. None of any of this happened and enjoy the rest of your tea party.” He got up and quickly left. 

Lucy and Lindsay went back to the tea table. “Still hot!” Lindsay cheered, pouring them some from the pot. Hazel folded her arms, looking at Grace. 

“It was a joke… You had to be there. Simon and I aren’t…”

“You’re doing SOMETHING. I can tell…” Hazel said, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Hazel, if something serious transpired between Simon and I, I would immediately talk to you about it, just like I did whenever he wanted us to start hanging out again. Okay?”

“Okay…”

Hazel went back to her tea party and the girls were giggling. She didn’t like whatever they were saying, but she eventually got over it. Whenever their parents stopped by, Grace did explain, “I’m really sorry, my friend and I were having an inside joke and the girls overheard something rather vulgar. I am willing to do whatever needs to be done if that affects her in some way. I just feel so bad that they overheard it.” 

Lucy’s mom wondered what was said, so Grace said it very low to her and she looked scandalized, but she simply sucked it up and begged Grace to try to be more careful next time. Lucy’s father didn’t seem to even know what the words meant. 

Lindsay’s mom didn’t ask, but Grace did say it on the low to her, and she laughed it off and said that Lindsay had unfortunately been picked on whenever someone at her old school realised that she was the daughter of Sommar Kittyn, so they had the talk with her when she was around 6, and the rest, the Internet fills in when nobody’s paying attention. Besides, her dad’s a rockstar… she absolutely had overheard her fair share of inappropriate things from their friends. She even gave Grace a no worries hug to accentuate that it was okay.

When they were gone, Grace noticed that Hazel wasn’t with her (probably was too embarrassed to look at them at the moment), and whenever she went inside, Hazel and Simon were speaking quietly, but both shut up whenever they saw her. “Hey… so, I think it’s gonna be okay. Definitely with Lindsay’s folks… hopefully with Lucy’s too… Really sorry about that.”

“You and Simon have been seeing each other,” Hazel said. Simon lowered his head into his hands. “He accidentally told me, because he didn’t know that you’ve been lying to me.”

“I have not been lying and Simon and I are not seeing each other. That’s the thing of it, Hazel. Adults and children have differing ways of dealing with each other and maybe Simon just didn’t really understand the proper way to communicate to you what our friendship is, because there’s not really a child equivalent.”

“I’m not a baby, Grace,” Hazel said. “You two are doing stuff with each other, and that sounds serious to me, for you, somebody who is publicly an ace figure and only recently began to even consider the possibility of perhaps demi… You’re doing stuff… that means your demi is activated!” 

“No. It doesn’t. It means my curiosity is activated and there is someone who I can explore that with.”

“You two were talking about babies earlier.”

“Hazel. It isn’t anything that needs to be shared, at this time. Just some musings, Baby…” Hazel got up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her and locking it. “Did she just?”

“She locked herself in,” Simon said. “I didn’t mean to make a problem. I misspoke.”

“How do you misspeak our situation to a child?”

“I certainly didn’t tell her that you’ve been training me to be an obedient partner.”

“That is not…”

“I only said that we were discussing having babies, but we’re not there in our arrangement yet… and she started trying to ask questions to understand better and all of the answers were accidentally more serious sounding than I meant to…” They spent hours outside of the door waiting (after at least half an hour trying to speak to Hazel about coming out). Eventually, she did and Grace was leaning onto Simon’s shoulder, but jumped up whenever Hazel came out. Simon quickly said, in a very stern tone, “Hazel, don’t do that again. You had your mother worried. She didn’t do anything wrong, and that’s unfair. If you try that again, I will remove the lock, do you understand?”

“Yes, Simon,” she said. 

He sighed and gave her a hug. “You’re entitled to your privacy and your feelings. But, at least let us know that you’re okay. That you haven’t jumped out of the window or passed out or something.” She nodded. Simon left them alone. 

“Hazel...:”

“I don’t feel like talking to you,” Hazel said. At least she was telling her the truth. Grace nodded and they left. Hazel didn’t say anything to her on the way back and Grace didn’t reach out or respond to Simon for days, which Hazel gradually came around to not being mad at her. Things came to a head when Grace was waiting outside of Hazel at school - in the New York November cold, mind you, and she was taking much longer than ever before. Grace consulted the calendar, to see if she somehow forgot that Hazel had tutoring or something. Eventually, she began to call her friends’ moms, to see if she had taken up shelter in one of their vehicles or something and just didn’t see Grace outside. Lindsay nor Lucy claimed to have seen her since school let out. She began to call even kids that she didn’t know as well - Todd, Alex, Louis… nobody knew where that girl was. She walked through the hallways and looked into classrooms, as she called Simon.

“Thank you for gracing me…”

“Have you talked to Hazel today?”

“No. Hazel’s pissed at me. We haven’t talked since tea party night…” Grace started crying. “Grace… what happened?”

“She’s missing! Or… hiding… I don’t know, but I’ve been waiting at her school for over an hour and I don’t see her anywhere!”

“Where is it? I’ll come help you…”

.

Grace was crying the entire time, pacing, tearing herself down and explaining to the staff, the security and the police how their schedule usually goes. Grace always either walks or drives Hazel to school. She parks in a certain place, stands in a certain place. She gave the time range that it usually takes, and explained why she “waited so long” to reach out - because she was confirming. Because Hazel doesn’t just wander off and she had no reason to suspect that she hadn’t mixed this up with math help day or something… They were acting like she had done something wrong and nobody was helping her find her child. 

Eventually, Simon sat her down and offered, “I’ll speak with them, with your consent.”

She nodded her head, “I consent,” she barely choked the words out crying. 

Simon began speaking as patiently as he could through his teeth, about how Hazel was in the care of the school until she walks out of the doors and that there’s staff everywhere and even cameras that they could possibly try to check to see if during the small window of time where she might have vanished, she was caught or seen. He didn’t want to bring it to threats, but he certainly would, if they made him.

After talking for a while, they seemed much more helpful with Simon and eventually advised them to go home and wait, make more calls, consider other familiar places that Hazel might have gone to, and contact them if they still hadn’t heard from her in 24 hours. Grace was a mess. She was crying and trembling. Simon took her home. She absentmindedly told him where it was, not worried about him not knowing, either out of the panic she was in over Hazel or having actually gotten comfortable with him over the past few months. 

Whenever she came inside, she rushed through, calling Hazel’s name and looking for her. Hazel didn’t respond, but she found her on the bathroom floor and she collected her in her arms, “Hazel? Hazel??” She checked her for marks or bruises, or anything else… She saw none. Hazel was a turtle. Grace sobbed and collected her to herself. Her entire body was trembling, but Hazel was safe. She didn’t know how long it might take her to calm down. 

“What’s happening?” Simon wondered. Grace shook her head. She hadn’t explained this to him before, and Hazel probably hadn’t either, because she didn’t like to tell people about it, and it hadn’t happened in a little while. Grace eventually calmed down and Simon remained in the doorway, watching, waiting. 

Hazel’s eyes blinked and she looked at Grace and immediately began crying, “Are you going to give me back now? Now that I’m difficult again?” Grace burst into tears and she picked Hazel up and carried her into her bedroom, set her in the bed and cried more. Simon simply watched. “That’s what happens. First they find more important things. Then, they start to find other people or focus on other people. Then, they wait for me to mess up and they send me back.”

“There’s nowhere to send you back to! THIS is your home!” Grace said. She stood up and asked, “Did… Did you do this on purpose, to scare me, Hazel? Because, that is NOT okay! That’s not how we handle being mad at people. I thought you were gone. I thought somebody took you from me or worse! Don’t you EVER do something like that to me on purpose, EVER again!” She stormed out of the room and Hazel could hear her wailing as she made her way into the bathroom to collect herself. 

Hazel started crying. She wasn’t used to Grace fussing at her. To her, that was even more of a sign of what would happen. Grace was gonna give her up. They always gave her up after a while. She had tested to see if Grace cared. She dodged her, made her way back home on her own, but while waiting for her to get home, she panicked. She became a turtle. And now, Grace was mad at her. Maybe, that was an excuse. Maybe Grace was waiting for this, so she and Simon could be together without her. Why else would she have hidden that they had been secretly seeing each other ever since her birthday?

Grace came back into the room, more calm now, and she sat on the bed. Simon was still simply there. 

“Hazel, I need for you to understand how serious what happened today was, okay? One reason it is important to me not to ever leave you alone is because unlike where I grew up, kids go missing here so much more, and when they do… it is usually bad. Someone takes them and makes them a prisoner or uses them for bad things. Sometimes, they die. We live in a good neighborhood, but you wandering off by yourself, I imagined that you could’ve easily wound up in the wrong place, or ran into the wrong person. I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you and for you to try to scare me into thinking about that is very hurtful, Hazel. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about me and Simon. I thought it was easier to not say anything and get your hopes up, because I know that you really like him and I haven’t been sure that I like him enough for him to be that kind of presence in our life. So, I didn’t tell you. You can be mad at me. Tell me, give me the silent treatment, whatever makes you feel better about me hurting you. But, it is not decent to hurt me by making me scared for your life.”

“I didn’t think about it that way. I’m sorry!” Hazel said, crying. Grace bit her lip and collected her to herself. Hazel cried against her. “I thought you were getting tired of me…” 

“No, no… no… never. I’m hurt and I was scared, but I could never get tired of you, Hazel. Tired of life, maybe, and if I do, guess what? I’ll give up something else. Never you. Never ever you.” Simon finally started to feel intrusive and he slid out of the room and made his way out of her front door. They were okay, now. They didn’t need him. He was getting ready to get into his car whenever he heard his name. Simon turned and Grace was running from the townhouse to him. She threw her arms tightly around him and he hesitated before sinking into the hug. “Thank you… for being here for me.”

“I’m always going to be,” he said. He pulled away and looked at her. She still looked shaken up. “You need me to stick around a little longer?”

“I’m really still pretty shaken up. I can’t explain it. I know that she’s safe, but the after effects, especially not having had one of these episodes in a while… Do you want to stick around and help me with kid and turtle meal preps?"

"You got a turtle?"

"Hazel. Her psychosis... she sometimes thinks she transforms into a life sized turtle. I like to be sure to have some people safe turtle food so that she doesn't go out and eat bugs and grass like she did at her first home."

He was in awe. She blushed and shrugged her shoulders, "Her parents couldn't handle how she was. They dropped her off at an institution, and whenever she seemed okay, she was taken to a foster home. They tried for a short time and brought her right back. That’s what she was talking about in there… Everybody she wanted to trust - They locked her up. She didn't need to be locked up, she needed to be loved."

"Are you projecting?" He asked, trying to ease her nerves a little. She was still shaken up as they headed back across the street.

"Absolutely not. I definitely needed to be locked up."

"Maybe I did too."

"Well you know you could always go ask them to hold you and they'll let you know in 72 hours if you in fact, do. I'll be here for you, either way. You’ve been really trying and I don’t think that I realized just how much until I needed you today and you came through like..." Simon leaned towards her mouth, tempted to kiss her on the lips. She hadn’t kissed him on the lips. It was something that he wanted, but never attempted, as he was generally terrified that she would shut down and go home. He knew where home was now and she was asking him to stay a while. It was as good a time to press his luck as any… and Grace leaned into it. “I consent,” she whispered, letting him fills the space after that confirmation.

"Well, that was a friendship kiss."

"Very platonic affection," and they kissed again… “We’ll tell Hazel tomorrow…”

Next

[sofiessketches]

NASASocial experience at JPL

This is a LONG one, so I’m gonna put it under a readmore! 

This was my first ever NASA Social, so I didn’t really know what to expect when I applied, what the chances were or what other sorts of people would be there. I was surprised I even got in, because compared to some of the other people I have very few followers, but I think there’s more to it than that! As Stephanie, the head of social media at JPL, said, “You were chosen for your insatiable curiosity, and for the stories you tell”. I really appreciate that the selection process was more about being a creator of SOMETHING that you truly care about.

I’ve been to JPL several times for tours and lectures, but it’s always exciting to come up to the front..there was a really long line, I’m assuming because of the event and also traditional media that was there to interview people.

Got my badge and headed in, and said good morning to the Curiosity model! (which I wish was as detailed as the real thing..I still love her tho. I’ve just been spoiled having gone on tours and doing a lot of research on Curiosity that I was able to spot what’s missing..)

Admiring how the light hits her..er..Chemcam

I never get tired of looking at this piece, but this was the first time I actually checked out the plaque next to it, which had a helpful diagram!

An installation displaying the information from the GRACE (Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment) and GRACE Follow-on missions, which in the words of my friend Sirina, shows us how screwed we are, in a beautiful way! I also realized the reason the screens are this shape is because the spacecraft are shaped like that...!

JPL’s inspiring slogan in a beautiful geometric typeface B)

We got to the meeting/conference room, with portraits of all JPL’s past and present directors around. The last seat at the front table appeared to be taken by the Mars 2020 wheel, so I asked if I could sit there with the wheel, and my day was made! I have to admit this may have been the highlight of my day. One of the first JPL-specific drawings I did was a study of an image Curiosity had taken of her own wheels on Mars, and after that I read a lot about how the wheels worked and how the design was less than ideal..it makes me happy to see the next iteration and how it’ll work out!

No pointy grousers for the sharp Mars rocks to snag on here!!! Just this...veeeeery shallow S-curve.

Everyone hanging out and social media-ing before the event began, waiting for more people to get there. I happened to sit next to a couple people I had pre-stalked on Twitter from the list they made of participants!

LOSING MY MIND EVEN MORE THAT WE COULD TOUCH AND PICK UP THE WHEEL???!?!!? It was pretty light, since it was a 3D model and not made of actual aluminum.

Lookin cute together. This is Kevin Baird, an awesome photographer! The only patches we had in common were the NASA meatball (not even the same one, though) and the SOFIA patch, which was strangely almost in the same spot on both of our jackets.. (on the back left side)

Then Stephanie, JPL’s social media head, came and proposed to us with space grade aerogel, and of course we all said yes. 

After an introduction, Linda, another social media expert at JPL, brought over a top secret looking box, which she explained will have some cool graphics relating to Mars 2020 on the front and inside soon (excited to see that!!)

Inside were material samples of several components of Mars 2020, including the many layered thermal blanket, the ropes that will lower the rover onto the surface of Mars (which can hold the weight of 1 car EACH, and the rover will be suspended by 80 of them) as well as the parachute material (orange), which was remade for better strength and lightness. 

We also got to hold a replica of the sample cache tubes that Mars 2020 will be filling!

At 10:00, the event we were there for, the State of NASA, came on (a budget rollout explaining briefly how much money the government will be giving to NASA in 2021 and what it’s for) so we watched Jim Bridenstein in front of some incredible engines...

And I just..get excited when I see the rover on the screen ok..

There was a super cool internal view of how the Mars 2020 will be depositing sample caches! The video is below:

Anyway, the budget rollout declared 22 billion to NASA and 3.3 billion of that to the development of the human landing system, which will go toward landing humans and science on the moon for the Artemis program. You can read more here about this.

After that, Director Watkins and Dr Zurbuchen came to answer questions, and we learned a bit about Mars Sample Return, and the mission that will come before that but after Mars 2020, which will map icy areas in Mars’ poles. (Really looking forward to learning more about that!!) I gave Dr Zurbuchen some stickers I made and he gave me his card......!

Soon after, we headed to the Science building, to learn about MOXIE (Mars Oxygen In-Situ Resource Utilization Experiment) (I’ve noticed, the bigger the budget on these missions, the more effort they put into making the acronyms for everything sound cool) This technology demonstration is on Mars 2020 to prepare for larger scale carbon dioxide to oxygen conversion from Mars’ atmosphere for human use. This size of MOXIE creates only about enough oxygen to keep a small dog alive. Still impressive!!!

Wandered around the MOXIE lab a little and took a peek at the rest of what was on the walls and tables..

After that, we went to the Spacecraft Assembly Facility, where Mars 2020 was not, but that’s a good thing! I’m actually not sure which part is in the box there.. but soon after we left, it left too!

Teeny tiny Mars 2020 model hidden at the end of the viewing area...

Best.

At the indoor mars yard, a couple InSight engineers talked to us about how they use this area to test software before they send it to Mars. Here from left to right are the engineering models for Mars2020, InSight, and Curiosity.

Her name is Maggie!

One of my goals in life is to be able to stand in front of the arm and draw it until I understand what the hell is going on.

Also going to insert some pics I took last week because I was lucky enough to get a tour from my friend Sirina, where there were engineers inside working on the arm:

Next, we headed to the Mars Sample Return testbed!

It makes me excited to be in the rooms with dirt regolith inside.. also SmalBoSSE is the best acronym I’ve seen all day...

The “volleyball” that Mars 2020′s sample caches will eventually be stored in, to be fetched by another rover, launched into orbit around Mars and picked up to be sent back to Earth! 

More freaking out about rover wheels. This is a prototype of one that will be on the rover to pick up the samples; the wire is slightly deformable which is great for offroad Mars action.

The rover will be a joint effort between NASA and ESA.

I love seeing these posters with hints of other projects going on. So cool!!

Last stop (cry) was Mission Control, aka The Center of the Universe, where all the data the Deep Space Network gets from spacecraft comes in.

The view from inside from my previous tour!

*eyes emoji when I see Mars 2020*

The darkroom and Curiosity’s Ace’s desk, where they send commands to Curiosity at 10:30AM Mars time.

Spitzer’s end of mission from Monday (top) vs the day after it was decommissioned (bottom).

Center of the Universe!!!

Ouagh don’t step on it! Well you can..

It was sad to say goodbye to our excellent guides, but we’ll be keeping in touch!! ;)

I also got a bunch of awesome pictures taken of me, which I was surprised by, because usually I’m the last one people take pics of..! 

My jacket, which they posted on JPL’s instagram... gosh!!!!!!

And some stickers/new business card design (did I post this here yet??) I gave to everyone I met!

Displayed at Shannon Forrey’s desk!

This was a truly amazing experience, my first time attending one of these events, I learned so much and had such a great time surrounded by inspiring and talented people. Thank you again to everyone at JPL who made it possible and to all the scientists and engineers who took the time to share their work with us! I’ll never forget this day.

Also, I want to make some art based off what I learned, so keep an eye out for that in the upcoming weeks!

[scaredofheroin]

Captain N - Chapter 15: Bright Lights, Big City

Soon after being sucked down the warp pipe, Captain N found that Zelda's claim was proven correct. Even though he could feel himself shooting through the pipe faster than before, Captain N could tell the pipe ride to New Donk City was longer than the previous pipe he traveled through. Like before, he couldn't see or hear his allies in front of him, his senses being filled only by the blackness of the pipe and the cold air whipping past his ears. The sensation of traveling through a warp pipe was as strange as it was the first two times, feeling as if he was being sucked through a massive vacuum cleaner. Thoughts of his home still haunted his mind. The trees and tall grass growing on the side of the worn, deteriorating asphalt road cutting through the woods of Midnight Lights, the sun hanging high in the sky as a cool breeze brushed through. This image brought a pang of nostalgia he never imagined he would feel for such a mundane situation. The trees and grass of Yamajiro were similar to his own, but different enough in incredibly subtle ways to feel alien and unfamiliar. The grass was too brightly colored, the trees were too shapely, none of the world around him made him feel at home. The differences didn't stop with the plant life, either. The sky was colored a subtly different hue of blue, and the sun was slightly larger than he was used to. All these examples of "almost, but not quite" left him with a slightly uneasy feeling, as if trapped in an artificial world.

As he was reminiscing about the most mundane aspects of Earth, light suddenly returned to his field of vision. With the air around him warming up once again, he could tell New Donk City was near. Preparing himself mentally for being shot out of the pipe once more, he steadied his legs and braced himself. Emerging from the pipe with the three familiar gulping sounds, Captain N maintained this stronger form, landing squarely on his feet on the metal platform below. Feeling slight satisfaction at his improvement, he looked up to see Pit, Falco and Zelda leaning on the platform’s guardrail and looking ahead at the city, with a cable car on a large cord leading down to the main road. Captain N joined them, getting a good view ahead. From a distance, the city looked incredibly populated and lively, with neon billboards decorating surprisingly modern skyscrapers, and cars and taxi cabs busily traveling through the roads. Once again, Captain N was left with a subtly uneasy feeling from the city, everything about it feeling slightly off. The taxi cabs were adorned with slightly different writing, the buildings were colored either too dark or too light from the usual gray color he was used to, as well as more of the skyscrapers being pointed at the top. He was so close to home, yet so far away.

"It's been a while since anyone came from that warp pipe." Came a chipper voice from behind him. The four turned to face the voice and were met with a woman in a semi-formal uniform behind a tourist stand adorned with merchandise of New Donk City. "Is there anything you all need help with today?" She politely asked, but quickly experienced minor shock upon seeing Zelda with the three, and immediately corrected her demeanor. "I, I mean, welcome to New Donk City, your highness." She spoke, as formally as she could muster in spite of her nervousness. "Thank you, but I wish we were here for solely leisurely purposes." Zelda replied, as noble as ever. "Well, it would be an honor to assist the Princess of Hyrule, is there any way I can help?" The woman asked. "You wouldn't happen to know where we could find Ryu, would you?" Pit asked her, stepping forward. "Uh, well, not really." She sheepishly admitted. "But maybe Mayor Pauline would! I bet she'd be willing to meet with you all!" "And she's in city hall?" Falco asked further. "She should be! I'm not privy to her schedule, but it's worth a shot." The woman confirmed. Captain N was still looking over at the city, listening in on the conversation. The air was remarkably warm, and the hustle and bustle of the city could be heard even from such a long distance away. "Are you okay, sir?" The woman asked him, catching him off guard slightly. "Yeah, I'm just... new around here." Captain N covered up, turning back to her. "Well in that case, you might want a map!" She offered, pulling one neatly folded map from the display and holding out for him. He carefully took the map and unfolded it, surprised by how large New Donk City was from the illustration, with places of interest marked on the key. But looking at the woman, he was surprised to find her identical to his own species. She didn't have wings like Pit or pointed ears like Zelda, she looked like an ordinary human. "We'll make sure he doesn't get lost." Pit assured the woman. "In that case, is there anything else I can help you with today?" She politely asked the group. Captain N folded the map back up and stored it in his jacket pocket. "That will be all, thank you ma'am." Zelda answered her. "In that case, I'll fire up the cable car and get you folks down to main street! Welcome to the Big Banana, the city that never leaps!" She boldly concluded, flipping a nearby switch in the booth. The cable car whirred to life behind them, the sound of a basic motor rumbling in the device holding the car to the cable. With one last "thank you", the four carefully got into the cable car, which was found to be a bit small, barely being able to hold two people on each side. Captain N found himself crammed in next to Falco, with Pit and Zelda on the other side. But once they were all secured, the machinery kicked into gear, and carried them down to the main entrance to New Donk City.

"Seems like your disguise wasn't very effective." noted Falco, looking at Zelda. "Perhaps, but we can't afford to turn back for a wardrobe change. Surely the people will be too busy with their own tasks to notice." Zelda reinforced, undeterred. "How come Princess Zelda was the only one to get recognized? Aren't you two kind of celebrities as well?" Captain N asked Pit and Falco. "Not really, Pit spends most of his time helping out Palutena and I've spent most of my life on the planet Corneria." Falco casually explained, leaving Captain N surprised to find that Falco was essentially an alien. "So, what do we do? Apart from asking Mayor Pauline, I mean." Pit asked the group. "Well, Princess Zelda has telepathy, right? I say we split up and try to cover more ground that way. I've got a map, so we could try asking around the more populated areas." Captain N semi-confidently offered, not entirely comfortable with the idea of splitting up, but felt a need to contribute something. "That's rather risky. If we get into conflict it could mean more trouble if we're separated from each other." Zelda responded. "I say it's worth a shot! Plus, I'm sure we could handle ourselves if we get into a sticky situation." Pit piped up, adjusting himself as to not be crammed right next to Zelda. "Well then, where should we look other than bothering the mayor, Mr. Map?" Falco asked Captain N. Getting the map back out of his pocket, he looked over the places of interest marked on the key. Beneath the Projection Room, Crazy Cap flagship store and RC car room, what stuck out to Captain N was the Commemorative Park. "Maybe we could check there?" He offered, pointing at the park. "Maybe we could find someone there who's in the know on what Ryu is up to, or he could be training there." "Sounds good to me!" Pit happily responded. Falco idly nodded, not offering any other ideas. "Then it's decided. Pit and I will search the park, and you two can try to meet Mayor Pauline." Zelda concluded, still slightly fidgeting with her dress. Captain N put his right hand out, facing down in the middle of the space between the four. None of the three others knew what this meant, and he was only met with confused looks. "Come on, put 'em there." Captain N insisted. After some slight hesitation, the three put their hands in the middle, where Captain N lifted them into the air, with a hearty "Go team!" before the car came to a stop with a sudden clunk.

Captain N carefully stepped out of the cable car, Zelda, Falco and Pit following. Up close, Captain N could see the countless men and women in black and gray formal attire densely populating the sidewalks, some carrying briefcases. Steam rose from beneath the manhole covers when not obscured by the countless cars, motorized scooters and taxi cabs populating the streets. The buildings closest to the entrance could be identified as apartment buildings, with fire escapes on the exterior. In the distance could be seen the taller, more pointed buildings where business took place. Countless billboards adorned the nearby walls, from advertising music events to the Crazy Cap store to the upcoming World Warrior Tournament. Falco nudged Captain N slightly, motioning to the rooftops ahead. There could be spotted Koopa, Kremlings and small, tan creatures with round bodies and stubby limbs, all patrolling the edge of the buildings while carrying high-tech spears. "Looks like Waddle Dees up there." Pit whispered, keeping his head low to avoid eye contact with them. Captain N nodded, and quickly led the group down the sidewalk, obscuring the four somewhat in the massive crowds. The horde of hasty businesspeople going about their daily lives felt reminiscent of the crowded hallways of Midnight Lights High School, where he learned to survive the torrential waves of classmates and the occasional faculty member in between classes. Fortunately, the businesspeople were too focused with their own tasks and responsibilities to pay the four much notice, despite Pit and Falco standing out with their avian features. The hat, while cumbersome, proved especially helpful in obscuring Zelda from the sight of those patrolling the rooftops. The businesspeople moved as if they were packed together like sardines, so maneuvering through the crowds proved a difficult task. With the map, Captain N quickly noted the group's current location in the city, and while walking at a brisk pace matching those of the businessmen around them. Stopping at a busy intersection, Zelda took a quick glance at the map and found the path to the Commemorative Park. "Looks like this is where we part ways." Pit spoke up. Nodding, Zelda straightened her posture and looked to Captain N and Falco. "If you two get into trouble, reach out to me in your mind, and Pit and I will-" "Don't worry, we got this, don't we, Cap'n?" Falco interrupted, nudging Captain N. Despite his slight worry of parting with two of his only allies made so far in this new world, Captain N nodded along, with an earnest "Yeah, we’ve survived worse, right?". Zelda still wasn't entirely swayed. "It's not your well-being I'm concerned for, Lombardi, rather your reckless inclination." She noted, earning a scoff from him. "Y'hear that, Cap? She doesn't care about me." He reiterated with mock-hurt in his voice. "You get too eager to use that weapon at your side and it could endanger countless civilians!" Zelda insisted. "That's why he's got me, Princess. I'll keep him on a short leash." Captain N interjected, using Falco's earlier quip against him, much to Falco's annoyance. "Then it's decided! We better get going before someone nasty notices us." Pit cut in, impatient to get going. Zelda sighed in reluctant acceptance and bid the two good luck before she and Pit set off in the opposite direction. Left with Falco, Captain N watched Pit and Zelda disappear from his vision, vanishing into the crowd. "Come on, let's not keep Miss Mayor waiting." Falco reminded him. Captain N put on a more confident face, turned back to Falco, and responded with "Yeah, let's roll.".

As they tried to casually stroll alongside the businesspeople to remain inconspicuous, Captain N spotted a good amount of Toad people struggling to make their way amid the dense crowds. Their short, stubby stature did little to aid them, being pushed around and almost tripped over by the much larger people who barely paid them any mind, except when they almost cause the businesspeople to trip over. The struggle of the Toad people was felt by Captain N, empathizing with how out of place they felt, suddenly being in a completely alien situation they're clearly unsuited for. Peering out of the corner of his eyes, he could spot the Koopa, Waddle Dees and Kremlings patrolling diligently across the rooftops. Both he and Falco could tell they were incredibly impatient to use their advanced spears, constructed of white metal with bright blue machinery underneath. Fortunately, the two were slightly shorter than the businesspeople surrounding them, helping hide the two fugitives from the sight of the three king's forces. Upon closer inspection to those around him, Captain N could tell the businesspeople were uneasy being surrounded by the nefarious forces above them. Each one of those around him kept their heads down and avoided looking at the goons above, as if expecting to be fired upon at a moment's notice. Who knows what kind of trouble could have happened before, Captain N wondered? With the cars on the road rushing by, enough ambient noise was provided to hide conversations between Falco and Captain N from prying ears. "So... you're an alien?" Captain N awkwardly asked Falco.

"In a way. From where I'm standing, you’re alien." Falco pointed out.

"Yeah, good point." Captain N relented.

A moment of silence between the two passed as they walked.

"So, what's Corneria like?" Captain N asked.

"A lot more advanced than this planet. We completed our space program before the Mushroom Kingdom was even created. In fact, those guys back in New Leaf Town are actually the great-grandkids of the first Cornerians to live on Yamajiro." Falco bragged, taking pride in his planet's achievements.

"I assume the Arwing was built on Corneria?"

"Pfft, yeah! Those rickety airships are as advanced as Yamajiro technology gets!" Falco boasted.

"That doesn't sound so bad, given their armaments." Captain N reminded him.

"That's cheating, and you know it. They didn't invent them on their own, those three creeps were GIVEN those high-tech gizmos from who-knows-who," Falco was quick to shoot back.

Another moment passed between the two.

"So... what else does this solar system have?" Captain N asked.

"Well, you've got this planet, Corneria, the desert planet Titania, the ice planet Fichina, there's Sauria, Venom, and... Zoness." He answered, a tinge of disgust in his voice in mentioning the last planet.

"...Have you visited them?"

"All those and then some, even planets outside the system like Zebes and Big Blue." Falco informed him with pride in his voice.

"Wow..." Captain N said, amazed at the prospect of such adventures.

"I guess they don't have space travel back where you're from?"

"...Not really. The farthest we've ever gone is the Moon."

Falco snickered at the thought, the concept seeming quaint to his experiences.

On the way to the mayor's office, a large, brightly lit billboard on a wall nearby caught Captain N's attention. The billboard proudly displayed Mario in an energetic jumping motion, smiling at the viewer with "SUPER MARIO BROS. - NOW PLAYING" right next to him in blocky, multicolored text. Captain N stopped walking to take in the billboard, feeling incredibly small in comparison. He could feel a sense of gravitas emanate from the massive illustration of Mario, his bold yet positive demeanor providing a stark contrast against Captain N's inner turmoil. Looking up at the billboard, Captain N knew he couldn't compare. He felt like a child playing pretend. Mario has been made out to be larger than life, in a sense. The greatest hero in the Mushroom Kingdom, whose might and bravery were so great he saved Princess Peach and triumphed over Bowser time and time again.

But not this time.

Bowser and his two ally kings now possessed a power unparalleled by anything seen before. They now possess a power so great that not just Mario, but Link, Samus Aran, Kirby and other presumably legendary heroes failed in their mission. To his right, Captain N spotted a businessman having stopped to look up at the massive billboard of Mario. When the two shared eye contact, a moment of knowing mourning was shared at the disappearance of Mario, before the businessman hung his head defeatedly and continued on his way. The weight on Captain N's shoulders grew more intense, knowing what was at stake. He, who only just arrived in this world, now had to triumph where men greater than him had failed. He couldn't bear to look back at the billboard of Mario, feeling he doesn't deserve to look upon someone with such prestige and call them his equal.

"...You doing alright, Cap?" Falco asked him, bringing him back to reality. Captain N stepped back and turned away from the billboard, facing Falco. He took in a deep breath to puff up his chest, and nod reassuringly. "Yeah, I'll make it." He assured, not entirely convincing Falco. "Well, we shouldn't stand around much longer, those goons are gonna notice us." Falco reminded him, subtly motioning to the Koopa atop the tall buildings. In agreement, Captain N continued on to City Hall, which was marked on the map as the tallest building near the plaza. The rest of the walk wasn't too troublesome, apart from getting in between businessmen and the odd Toad people. Captain N's red varsity jacket and jeans and Falco's blue avian physiology made them stand out noticeably among the crowd of homogeneously dressed businesspeople, but not so much so to cause a disruption. Soon enough, after crossing the plaza decorated with a fountain and grassy pathways, the two found themselves before the massive city hall. Separated from the interior only by three pristine, glass doors. Feeling slightly intimidated by the massive building in its art deco style, Captain N looked to Falco and remarked “We best not keep the Mayor waiting, huh?”. Falco nodded, and the two pushed open the doors and walked in.

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 14 – From This Point and On

D-day: it is a term coined from the landings performed by the Allied at Normandy, which lay in hands of Nazi Germany during the Second World War.

There are several historical debates concerning the accurate representation of “D.” The most commonly supported argument nowadays is that “D-day” is an acronym for “Day-Day,” and the former “day” is believed to be a temporary connotation of the date of the landings, which was unsettled at the time.

Simply put, “D-day” was named for “the day unknown,” in a way. Which is ironic, considering the fact that by the 21st century this term has come to denote a specific date of an event or operation.

On the other hand, had Rael known the origin of “D-day,” he would have thought that it could not be any more perfect for his situation. Because even though it was the D-day for him, he had no idea whether he could depart for Lukedonia.

At the same time, however, now kind of familiar with the human called Yuhyung Jang, he really did not care.

He did not care that the researcher did not show up on time for an hour, as long as he could leave by the end of the day.

And Rael could swear he took care in making himself sound not too irritated with the delay, but the KSA agent leading him to the lab was sweating his glands off trying to appease him.

“P-please don’t worry, sir! I’ll teach him a lesson as soon as we find him!”

Rael already told him a number of times he needed not to fret, to no avail. Then again, the director and the doctor, the most authoritative personnel in KSA, and Yeonsu and Sangin, the most influential agents of KSA, looked more than ready to bark like a dog or jump off the building, if only Rael had said the word.

So Rael was not surprised to see lesser employees, including his guide, acting like a bunch of scaredy-cats.

Hence Rael gave up on relieving his guide of his anxiety by the time they reached Yuhyung’s lab, which was sealed by a wooden door fit into the frame as a provisional boundary, perhaps because Yeonsu made the original door useless with a kick.

“Hey! Yuhyung! You in there?!”

The agent pounded the door, and they were met with a crashing sound within, something to be heard from a demolition site.

“What on earth is keeping you there for an hour?!”

“S-sorry! Sorry! It’s just that...”

“Well, hurry up! You’re late...!!”

“N-no! Don’t open the door! Please, don’t!!”

Yuhyung freaked and yelled, while Rael spied something through the opening of the wooden board.

‘A smoke? Is there fire again?’

He was about to warn the agent, when the latter jerked open the door and screamed at Yuhyung demanding to tell them what kind of trouble he brewed this time. He thereby allowed the misty body flickering inside the lab to spill out to the corridor.

Rael was unfazed by the déjà vu of his previous visit to Yuhyung’s lab. He was only interested in what had happened to the owner of the lab.

‘It doesn’t smell like something burned... But I wouldn’t dub it as an ordinary smoke. What is this smell...?’

The blonde noble was about to step into the room to inspect better, when the agent next to him blocked his mouth with his hand. At the same time his knees gave out, and the man promptly collapsed.

“Agent Jung!”

Just then Yuhyung, with his nasal area protected with a thick piece of cloth, bolted out of the lab and examined the fallen agent. As soon as he recognized Rael, who was also wearing alarmed eyes, he literally groveled before him.

“P-please! I need your help!!! W-we must not let this gas spread through the building!”

Rael’s composure kicked in upon the man’s plea, and he lunged towards the chamber. He shut the door and surveyed his surroundings to find out where the smoke was coming from – under Yuhyung’s desk.

Or rather, from the center of a mass of shattered glasses scattered about the leg of his desk.

When he had to take advantage of Frankenstein’s lab in the past, Rael collected enough scientific knowledge and experimental tips to realize exactly what he would need in this situation. The noble fervently rolled his eyes, which soon landed on a round-bottom flask labeled “neutralizer.” Sparing no second, he snatched the utensil and catapulted it.

He swiftly maneuvered his body so he would be safely away from the smoke even before the chemical would hit the glasses, and instantly even thicker smoke blasted through air, with a sound of an acid scorching the surface of a metal.

However, the phenomenon was short-lived, as the first smoke blended with the new smoke and grew faint in color and stench. Rael waited for the original smell to dissipate completely until he unfastened the door.

“T-thank you so much! That’s right... The neutralizer. How could I forget? I was so stupid. I was...”

“So startled you missed it. Which is natural. Totally understandable. By the way, what was that gas?”

Yuhyung’s face turned melancholy, distressed, while Rael took the agent to a nearby cot, still unconscious.

“This gas was one of the secret weapons we were developing against the Union. Or rather, it was one of the weapons we were developing against modified humans. What we had in mind was a weapon that can subjugate modified humans.”

“You mean only modified humans?”

“That’s right. When humans go through body modification, their genes naturally go through man-made genetic mutations, which create unnatural biochemical molecules to last permanently in their genetic make-up. So we figured if we come up with a weapon that reacts exclusively to such molecules, we will be able to arm ourselves with a weapon that works solely on our enemies AND prove devastating against the Union. I was in the lead of the project concerning this gas.”

A weapon that makes a lethal chemical reaction with physical traits unique to the modified humans – it sounded more than efficient to Rael. Which in turn made him question how come KSA has been keeping it secret even now. And how come the researcher seemed so disappointed when he should be practically stabbing the air with his nose in pride for such a breakthrough of weaponry.

Yuhyung opened his mouth in reply, which punctually rid Rael of his questions.

“But we were met with a problem. With our current technology and resources, it was impossible for us to adjust the effectiveness of the gas while keeping the Union’s radar quiet. In the end, this gas became a blackout tranquilizer that takes effect on modified humans and ordinary humans – a huge waste of our time and money and effort.”

Yuhyung turned his head towards the spot where the gas used to rise, his pupils dense with dejection and mixture of affection and hatred.

“So I decided to destroy it, after saving a sample of it in case we would need it in the future as a reference. And I was trying to make the bottle more airtight just before you arrived, so... Yeah. Uh, but I’m not blaming you! Not at all! This is all because I was clumsy.”

“...Does our upcoming trip have anything to do with your nervousness...?”

“Uhm... It’s true that I got less sleep than usual last night, but... Uh, but that doesn’t mean I blame you for this! I will never do that!!!”

Rael waved his head ever-so-slightly before he clogged his voice box. After all, his priority was not shaping his conversation with Yuhyung into an actual conversation. They were supposed to drop by the director’s office one last time before they moved on their way.

Still, Rael could not help peeking at the man as they walked towards their destination.

‘Frantic but certainly gifted in research. In other words, a puzzle of a human being.’

Now that he learned about this so-called supposed special weapon against the Union, he had even come to admire Yuhyung.

He was aware that “keeping the Union’s radar quiet” did not simply mean keeping the Union in the dark regarding this gas.

‘In addition to keeping this gas secret, these people would have had to downgrade their technology on the surface, to make KSA technology appear like a firefly in the face of a sun in comparison to Union technology. So that even if Union gets to take a look at their technology, those monsters wouldn’t notice that KSA has been trying their hands on studies and experiments on body modification behind their backs.’

Even with limited resources and technology aside, the fact that this man managed to develop such a pioneering weapon to near completion under the invisible eyes proves how talented he is as a developer.

‘Not to mention KSA’s technology on body modification would be at least a century behind that of the Union. Not that KSA must have been slacking off with their lab progress, but its technology in the essence would be no more than imitation of Union technology, thus obviously lacking in precision and quality. But this guy designed what could have been a masterpiece with inadequate resources, mimicry of technology, and progress that would not draw Union’s attention.’

What could have happened if this human received his salary not from KSA but from Union? What if this researcher decided to antagonize nobles or werewolves?

‘I’d hate to even imagine what could have happened.’

Joyful for the very first time that he was not an opponent to an ordinary human, instead of a supernatural fighter or a modified human, Rael glanced at Yuhyung with veneration.

In other words, noblekind and wolfkind have earned a superbly deft ally.

Which is why Rael’s footsteps had grown much more steadfast on his way out of the director’s office.

‘Now it’s all up to me. As long as I do my job correctly, this project will be a success. And Lukedonia and werewolves would get to boast tighter alliance and security and accelerate their recoveries. And the Kertia advisory patriarchs would hopefully acknowledge me. So I will do a good job. I must.’

Feeling his anxiety stirring, Rael calmed himself.

‘A lot of things will change from this point and on.’

*****

Meanwhile, Frankenstein’s Lab

“...Beg your pardon?”

Frankenstein retorted at his visitor, apparently unhappy that she must repeat herself, as suggested by her pursed lips.

“Where is the 3rd Elder?”

Frankenstein could tell that this was not a social or friendly visit, for Lunark was donning a face of a child whose mother verbally offered some broccolis.

“Mind if I ask you why you need to see him?”

As soon as he asked, Lunark’s grimace thickened. Now she looked like a child whose mother shoved broccolis into her face.

“Mind if I ask you why you need to know?”

Lunark replied, somehow making herself sound like she had her teeth clenched tight despite her wide-open mouth.

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you before you.”

“You sound like there’s a reason you can’t tell me.”

“You sound like there’s a reason you can’t show him to me.”

“Can’t you just let me know why?”

“Can’t you just let me see him?”

The banter between two gorgeous man and woman was interrupted by a third person who was not altogether unrelated to their conversation.

“No need to tire yourselves with a potential argument. I’m right here.”

The 3rd Elder joined the lab, separating a towel from his half-dry hair.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Lady Lunark?”

Lunark turned her hesitant eyes to Frankenstein. He met her straight in the eyes, questioning if she were staring at the right person.

“There’s nothing that Frankenstein cannot listen among the things that are meant for me. There shouldn’t be anything that he can’t listen.”

The 3rd Elder so very kindly explained, and Lunark signaled her acquiescence with a sigh.

“Recently, I have been in lead of my kind’s search squad, made up of warriors in order to track down Union facilities. And we picked up a couple locations. But there is a problem – or problems.”

“And what would they be...?”

“First, the facilities we found were already shut down. Second, those facilities belonged to Crombell.”

“Crombell? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. And don’t ask me how we figured that out; that’s the least of your concerns. Those facilities were wiped out so clean we couldn’t fathom anything about the ones that preceded us – whether they are male or female, or single or multiple. But curiously, they left the security camera footages intact, albeit tampered and therefore unhelpful.”

“Perhaps the ones who did the shutdown felt no need to delete them, with the footages already tampered beyond repair.”

“Probably. Frankenstein, has your gang ever taken a field trip overseas for their shutdown operation...?”

“No. For now they’re working in joint with KSA only in Korea, within its shoreline. They haven’t even been to Jeju Island.”

Lunark nodded, having expected such an answer. She focused her eyes at 3rd Elder, devoid of contempt for once.

“Well? Does this ring a bell for you?”

“...It’s hard for me to say exactly who this could be. But I think I can come up with a list of candidates behind this, if you want me to.”

“You think you can finish it in two days?”

“I’ll do that. Which is why I’d like to be excused. There’s not even a second to waste.”

The 3rd Elder turned his feet, his loose hair generating a faint whistle of a wind. Frankenstein started talking only after his sounds vanished impeccably, Lunark not even looking at him.

“Did Ignes’s data include locations of Crombell’s facilities?”

“...Yeah. Guess she undertook espionage on Crombell while devising defense against him.”

Soon afterwards Lunark sighed, still not looking at him.

“Sorry for being so biting back there. I wanted to speak to him in private if possible.”

“And why is that?”

“I figured you’d sprint outside as soon as I tell you about this. You know, so you can look into it yourself. I didn’t want to add more to your shoulders when you’re already carrying a weight worth a continent.”

“...I can’t deny that it’s most convenient for me to handle everything myself. But for now, I’m anchored to this place. So I have no intention to do that. Or rather, I’ve no time to spare for that. I’m starting to wonder how much of a busybody you take me for.”

“Busybody? I’ve never considered you a...”

Lunark rapidly rotated her head, as if complaining to him that is the most preposterous accusation she has ever heard. However, she realized how sharp her voice had become and took a deep breath.

“Anyways, sorry for barging in. I’ll be back in two days.”

Lunark turned towards the door without haste, only to glance back after a few steps.

“You do realize you’re the one who’s making me a busybody these days, don’t you? You’d better not keep me concerned about you.”

Frankenstein could not budge even after she was gone.

‘She’s concerned about me?’

In response, Frankenstein’s heart started to twist and turn, like a pair of socks in a dryer set to high.

When she did not tell him the purpose of her visit at first, he was oddly disappointed. Because with their entire history with Union taken into account, and simply with their relations taken into account, he anticipated her to glare at 3rd Elder, not him.

And when she later apologized on the matter, he was reassured. Reassured to find out that she was being considerate in her own way. Seemingly she is still being considerate for him.

Frankenstein then noted he was much more reassured than he is supposed to be and bit his lips.

‘Snap out of it, Frankenstein. This is no time for you to let that woman sway your feelings.’

Frankenstein scattered his hair, reprimanding his heart for not being itself whenever it is concerned with Lunark.

‘I need to get a grip on myself. Though I’m not sure why she keeps getting on my nerves after all this time... I really need to get a grip.’

The QuadraNet project will come to life, starting with Lukedonia, with help from nobles, werewolves, KSA, and his family in Korea. On the other hand, more than a handful of people are working their heads off to cleanse the world of the Union, especially Crombell. Therefore, it is best for him to focus on nothing but finding a solution to his new secret that not even Raizel is knowledgeable of.

‘A hoard of things will change from this point and on. I need to focus.’

*****

As for 3rd Elder, he was composing in his bedroom a rough draft of the list he promised to Lunark. Nevertheless, he knew this list would be meaningless. He was certain he knew the one Lunark was looking for, by 80% accuracy.

The fact that footages from security cameras, albeit tampered, were lingering at the scenes was more than enough to teach him who did it.

‘This is definitely her style with the job. But why? Why would she do that? I thought she was also one of Crombell’s assassins.’

Soon his brain yielded two most likely options.

‘Either she chose the extremity of eradicating everything about her commander so that no one would acquire a thing about him... Or she chose anti-Crombell propaganda now that he is gone. Though that leaves a question of whether there is someone she is serving if the latter is the case.’

He had input Helga’s name on the list, as he was typing the names in the alphabetical order. After deliberation, he began to move his hand.

‘Maybe... Just maybe...’

The cursor began to delete letters with a series of clicks, starting with “a” and ending with “h.”

Saving the list excluding Helga’s name before closing it, 3rd Elder let the air rustle through his windpipe in low vibration.

‘Maybe things will change from this point and on.’

(next chapter)

You have reached the 25% of this fanfic series! I’m not talking about the number of chapters (which keeps changing as I am typing up this message). I’m saying this was the last chapter of the introduction part of this fanfic, which is why the preceding chapters did not contain what could be considered a crisis or a battle (minus the skirmish Takio had gone through during his past, which was what chapter 13 featured). And of course, things will change beginning from next chapter. Hope you’d stay tuned for those!

[timetravelingheart]

Consequences Chapter Ten: A.M. Imagine

This is moreso a filler chapter, so I’m sorry if it’s a little boring. Just trying to establish more relationships throughout. 

______

Tessa was certain she was about to lose her mind. 

It seemed like the entire contents of her bedroom closet were scattered all over her bedroom floor, the bed, the chair, and the desk. 

What was an appropriate outfit to wear to dinner with your very newly minted boyfriend’s parents? Did such a thing even exist? She was starting to think the answer was no. 

It wasn’t like she hadn’t met her previous boyfriends’ parents before. She had. She didn’t really count meeting her high school boyfriend’s parents because they had lived down the road from her family’s farm ever since Tessa could remember. She met that boyfriend, Alex, when she was 6 years old. 

She met the parents of her first serious college boyfriend completely by accident. They were moving him into his dorm and she was right across the hall from him. Technically that boyfriend, Dylan, met her father that day as well. When she re-met Dylan’s parents as his girlfriend, it was over a weekend trip they made to their university and they took them out for lunch. She remembered being nervous about that, but it felt nothing like the level of nerves she was currently experiencing. 

These were the parents of Auston Matthews, superstar hockey player for one of the richest sports industries in the world. Even though she tried as hard as she could not to think of him as ‘the Auston Matthews,’ she wasn’t an idiot. She knew how the rest of Toronto saw him. She also knew that his parents were likely prepared to snuff her out and see if she was with their millionaire son for the right reasons. 

Tessa knew she shouldn’t have anything to worry about - him being ‘the Auston Matthews’ was actually almost enough of a reason for her to say no to him in the first place. She wasn’t a gold digger and couldn’t imagine ever relying on a man for money or fame or clout. But how could she prove that to his parents?

It felt like those moments when you walked into a store, buy nothing, and still think the alarm will go off at the front door as if you had stolen something. That was a legitimate fear Tessa had regularly. And this was feeling like that same emotion. 

She needed reinforcements. She needed Lydia. 

__

After calling Lydia in to help her, Tessa was finally ready 30 minutes later. She decided to keep it fairly casual since Auston told her not to dress up. She eventually settled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and an emerald green fall sweater. It had a high neck and was only a little tight. It felt like a safe outfit and she knew Auston loved when she wore green. Lydia had been a calming presence while helping her get ready, making her laugh and just feel at ease. It was also an opportunity for Tessa to explain her mid-afternoon skating date with Auston when he asked her to be his girlfriend. 

She was now waiting patiently at the restaurant where Auston told her to meet. Originally he had offered to pick her up, but she felt like she needed the drive over to calm her nerves. She was still in her head when the family of three - his sisters still being in Arizona - walked up to her. 

“Tess,” Auston greeted her with a huge smile and a warm hug. She could tell he was excited, and she felt a pang of guilt for how much she had been dreading this moment. He pulled away and sent her a subtle wink, clearly knowing she was feeling a little off. “These are my parents, Ema and Brian.” 

“It’s so nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Matthews,” Tessa reached out her hand for them to shake, but was caught off guard by Ema ignoring the hand and pulling her into a gentle hug. Brian followed suit. 

“Oh, honey,” Ema smiled kindly, “please call us Ema and Brian. We are so excited to finally meet the girl Auston hasn’t stopped talking about for months now.”

“Months?” Tessa turned to look at a sheepish Auston who was conveniently avoiding her gaze. 

“To be honest, if it wasn’t for Mitch talking about you too, I was pretty certain you were just a figment of his imagination,” Brian laughed at his now beet-red son’s expense. 

“Nope, definitely real,” Tessa laughed, already feeling a little more comfortable. “But I can’t vouch for everything he said about me. And I definitely can’t vouch for anything that may come out of Mitch Marner’s mouth.”

Ema and Brian laughed heartily, already liking Tessa’s sense of humour. 

“Let’s eat, shall we?” Brian gestured to the dining area of the restaurant. 

Once they were seated they continued to make small talk about the weather in Toronto and Arizona, and Auston’s upcoming game that they were attending. Eventually their orders arrived and the conversation took a more personal turn. 

“So Tessa,” Brian started, “Auston tells us that you’re doing your Masters?”

“I am,” Tessa nodded, taking a sip of her water. “I have about a year left if everything goes according to plan with my research.”

“So you’re doing that full time and working with Launchpad?” Ema asked. 

“Yes.”

“She’s also a TA at school,” Auston added, a hint of pride in his voice. 

“Wow,” Brian was impressed. “So you’re a full-time student, a Project Manager, and a TA? How do you have time for all of that?” 

“Honestly, it can be difficult some weeks, but it’s rarely full-speed in all areas at the same time. My research advisor understands my other commitments, so she works with me to develop realistic deadlines for me to submit my research and work. I think I’ve only had one week or two where I had to mark 50 essays, organize the final details and process paperwork for an event at work, and submit a lit review draft.” 

“Was that the week I went by your office and you looked like you were going to murder me?” Auston asked, laughing at the memory. It felt like they had come so far since he had sent her those flowers. 

“Yep,” Tessa popped the ‘p’ sound and laughed along with Brian and Ema. 

“I can’t say that I blame you,” Ema continued. “That’s a lot for one person to take on. You have to be dedicated and organized for all of that to go smoothly.”

“That’s really impressive,” Brian agreed. Tessa smiled thankfully at them, not certain of what else to add. 

“She’s definitely way too smart for me,” Auston laughed, putting an arm around the back of her chair. “She’s thinking about doing her PhD after her Masters and working at SickKids.”

Tessa felt a swoop in her chest at the pride she could hear in Auston’s voice when he bragged about her accomplishments. 

“SickKids is an incredible place,” Brian started. “Auston and I have a pretty close relationship with some of the staff and kids there.”

“Yes, Auston explained that to me,” Tessa started slowly, knowing that it was a sensitive subject. “I am so sorry that you’ve experienced such a great loss, but it is so admirable that you’ve taken that loss and continuously work to turn it into a gain of sorts for someone else. I’m sure those kids and their families appreciate you so much.”

“My brother was an amazing human being and we just want to continue that legacy,” Brian replied, emotion evident in his voice. “Ema and I are also very sorry for your loss. We know how tough that must have been, and continues to be, on you and your dad.”

Tessa sucked in a breath, unaware that Auston had told his parents not just about her existence, but personal stories that she had shared with him. She let out the breath slowly when Ema reached across the table to capture her hand and give it a squeeze. 

“Thank you,” Tessa responded sincerely. When she felt Auston’s hand on her thigh under the table, she turned to give him a small smile and a wink. She could feel the tension in his body, concerned that maybe he had overstepped. She wasn’t upset though; she had learned over the past couple of months just how close Auston was to his family and she wasn’t ashamed of her loss. 

“So,” Tessa turned back to Brian and Ema, “are we at the point in the conversation where I ask you to share some embarrassing childhood stories of Auston?”

__

“Thank you so much for dinner tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews,” Tessa reached out to accept their hugs as the four of them stood outside the restaurant. 

“Ema and Brian,” Ema gently scolded, accepting the hug. She knew there had to be something special about this girl based on the way Auston had talked about her over the past couple of months, and she was right. Tessa was perfect for Auston.  “It was so nice to finally meet you.”

“Yes, we look forward to seeing you again. Do you ever go to any of the games?” Brian asked. 

“Rarely,” Tessa shrugged. “I would like to go to more, but my schedule doesn’t always allow for it. And ticket prices are a little out of this grad student’s budget,” she laughed. 

“What makes you think you’d be paying for them?” Auston nudged her teasingly. “I might not be good for much, but I think I could get you into a game or two, Tess.”

“Well, just make sure you put her near us. I promise I’m not one of those crazy moms who scream at the coaches or refs,” Ema laughed. 

“We should get going though or we will be late for our show,” Brian reached out to wrap Auston in a hug. “We’ll see you back at the apartment tonight, kid.”

“Yeah, sounds good. I’m going over to Mitch’s for a bit, so don’t wait up,” Auston responded, leaning down to kiss his mom on the cheek. “See you guys later.”

“Bye Tessa,” Ema waved as they started making their way to their car. 

Once his parents were out of earshot and view, Auston turned to Tessa and pulled her into a tight hug. He tugged gently on her ponytail, tilting her head back so he could finally place a kiss on her lips. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he sighed when he pulled away. 

“Didn’t think your parents would approve of a little PDA?” Tessa teased, accepting his hand as he lead her to her car. 

“I’m sure they wouldn’t care, but it’s weird,” Auston shuddered as Tessa laughed. “Want to go to Mitch’s with me?”

“Sure,” Tessa handed her car keys over to him. “You drive. What’s going on over there?”

“Nothing big,” Auston took the keys and opened the passenger door for her before climbing in on the driver’s side. “I think he’s just having a few of the guys and their partners over. Thanks for tonight, by the way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know I just sprung that on you. I think my mom thought you’d been my girlfriend for a while now, so I couldn’t say no when she asked to meet you.”

“Let’s just say that I’m not the best with surprises, so while this was nice, please don’t pull that kind of thing again,” Tessa laughed, remembering the current state of her bedroom floor because of her stress. “But thank you for wanting me to meet them.”

“They absolutely loved you, I could tell,” he beamed, reaching over to pick up her hand and bring it to his lips for a kiss. “But I’m not surprised. You’re an easy person to lo- to like,” he caught himself before the word left his mouth again. It was much too soon for that. Right? 

Tessa ignored the slip, thinking he probably didn’t mean to say it. 

“So what did your parents mean when they said that they’ve heard a lot about me from Mitch?” she asked, changing the subject. Auston simply groaned, causing her to laugh. His best friend would definitely get him in trouble someday. 

__

“So T,” Mitch wrapped an arm around Tessa’s shoulders and pulled her closer to him as they sat on his couch, “can I call you T?”

Tessa looked at him questionably, mostly just for her own amusement to watch him wait, and finally nodded wordlessly.

“Great, so T,” Mitch leaned in as if he were about to tell her something important, “now that you’re official with my boy, I think we have a few things we need to discuss.”

“Oh really?”

“Mhm, best friend duties and all that.”

“Oh, and all that. Okay Mitch, hit me,” Tessa folded her hands in her lap and sat up straighter, pretending to be super serious.

“Now, since Lydia gave Auston her whole ‘if you hurt my best friend I’ll hurt you speech, I feel like-”

“Wait, hold up,” Tessa held up a hand to stop him. “When did she do that?”

“Eons ago,” Mitch waved her away. “As I was saying, I feel like I-”

“What did she say?”

Mitch sighed audibly. He really wanted to make his speech.

“You’re so stubborn sometimes, T,” Mitch rolled his eyes, still keeping up his serious facade, but Tessa could see the mirth that lurked behind his eyes. “She basically told him if he hurt you, she didn’t care how amazing his thighs were, she’d hunt him down and make him hurt just as much, only physically instead of emotionally.”

Tessa let out a bark of laughter. What?

“Anyway,” Mitch continued dramatically, “I just wanted to say that I feel like I should say something similar, but while I have nothing against your thighs, I don’t think I can say the exact same thing. So, all I’ll say is, please don’t hurt my best friend. He really likes you and I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“That ended a lot sweeter than I had expected,” Tessa nodded, impressed. “I respect your best friend responsibilities, and I will tell you I have no intention of hurting him. I don’t know if you can tell, but I really like him too.”

“Oh, I can tell!” Mitch laughed, giving her a squeeze. “I love you two together. But now you have to be my best friend too.”

“I didn’t realize that was part of the deal. I may have to rethink this whole relationship thing,” Tessa started to pull away from him, laughter in her eyes.

“Yep! You’re stuck with me. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” he grinned his shit-eating grin at her.

“Mitchy!” William called from the other side of the living room. “It’s your turn!” 

“Call of Duty calls, T,” Mitch leaned forward and placed a smacking kiss on her cheek. “Oh, and if I haven’t said it already, thanks for making my best friend so happy,” he winked at her as he took his place on the other couch. 

As he left, Stephanie walked over and took his spot. 

“Please tell me he wasn’t giving you his ‘if you hurt my best friend’ spiel,” Stephanie rolled her eyes, handing Tessa a glass of water. 

“You know him well,” Tessa laughed. She really liked Steph. Any time they hung out in a group, she was always really friendly, but had enough sass that Tessa never felt like she was just being nice because she was with Auston. She actually treated her the way she treated their other friends. 

“He thinks he’s a lot tougher than he is but I deep down he’s so happy that Auston has found someone like you,” Steph replied sincerely. Tessa’s eyes traveled across the room after feeling eyes on her. She caught Auston’s gaze across the room as he pretended to pay attention to the video games the other guys were playing. He sent a wink in her direction before turning back to the TV. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

Tessa shrugged, not sure what to say. Everyone kept telling her that, and even though it was meant to be comforting, sometimes it did make those initial doubts she had resurface. She tried to push them back down though. He asked her to be his girlfriend and she met his parents - he was obviously serious about this and them and her. 

“Anyway,” Steph broke Tessa out of her thoughts, “how would you feel about hanging out with me tomorrow? We could go for mani pedis or to a yoga class or something together?” 

“I’d really like that.”

“Perfect! I finally have someone who I can make fun of Mitch and Auston,” Steph lifted her glass to cheers Tessa. “Welcome to the family, Tessa!”

[astrology-with-charu]

18 Sept- 26 Dec Saturn finally goes direct!!! The new structure of life unveils from now to December in an area of our life where we would are experiencing the biggest restructuring & karmic release of our life time

Saturn has been retrograde since 29 April in the sign it rules Capricorn. Saturn rules the structural elements of our life, earth & administration. It gives us the perseverance to create the very foundations of our existence - our boundaries, our rules, our career, our body, building blocks of our life that let us function effectively & bring our talents our soul to material world.

During the retrograde period Saturn holds up external launch of new structure of our life cause it hits resistance within our inner life which if not removed won’t allow us to live that external reality with full potency & success. So last 4-5 months has been period of internal restructuring, frustration, resentment, arrested growth but at the same time rebuilding of a new rule book, warding out things / attitudes / people which are obstacles to our ability to take on this new responsibility & opportunity of new structure of our life. Saturn in retrograde stage breaks down our ego & sometimes negativity which is accumulated which keeps us away from assimilating our ideal with material. Unknowingly in past few months we have created a new code of conduct, a new unsaid boundary of what we would or would not accept going forward in our life.

That’s the thing with Saturn - a lot is unsaid & understated - yet without its work we wouldn’t accomplish anything in material or spiritual world as it creates a mountain of persistence within us so doing the requisite work for accomplishing what we need becomes part of our DNA.

In Hindu mythology Saturn is represented as Kurma, tortoise - an incarnation of Lord Vishnu (the creator), who lifted the mountain so Gods could churn the ocean to retrieve the usefulness - usefulness is born due to work we do under the influence of Saturn - so past four months have been our own individual process of creating inner strength to lift up our own mountains.

And now with Saturn going direct we have a lift off. It’s time to lift that mountain so usefulness is birthed. As Saturn is in Capricorn no matter where you are lifting your mountain it would have influence of solidifying your professional foundations, your foundations as a leader of whatever domain you might be looking to be the lead on - efficiency is birthed - core strength is born to be the kind of leader of our personal or professional life that knows when to say no and draw healthy boundaries. The leader who knows what to choose, what to Detox, what to move away from as it doesn’t have longevity & to move to what has grounding to survive the next 30 years of our evolution which we are moving towards.

Saturn will retrace the path it traversed since 29 April from now to Christmas - making visible changes in framework of our life to reflect the inner re-engineering it has done in last four months. Imagine last four months as you going through process of rewriting the rules of your life - what profession, life commitment to whom, what to say yes to what not to when it comes to responsibilities, what you need for your material growth & Stability - imagine now that rule book being implemented. The theory merging with action till December. As soon as Saturn is done with this journey we would have a Solar eclipse on 26 Dec’19 prompting us - your new life is ready now to be lived - it becomes our new reality.

Saturn churning turning direct is subtle as is the planet itself but its gifts are real, material, Long lasting - this is about getting what we need & it might come in forms different from what we want. Saturn is like a responsible parent - it knows well to give you time to adjust to what it’s about to unfold as your new path which it was doing in last four months - but it also knows well to also give you what you truly need & what’s right for you. Cause sometimes what we want is not what we need. Hence the delay, hence the need of time, hence the retrograde but that’s why what’s created gives benefits for a life time.

So over next 14 weeks, we will see structure of our life change in ways we didn’t originally plan but over last four months we have been internal restructured to move from what we wanted to what we truly need - some call it reality checks, some call it maturing a dream.

A special note for my fellow Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) - this adjustment has been nothing short of a struggle in last few months & we might have resisted this change with all our might only to realise now that this feeling of entrapment, anger, frustration, banging against the wall - was all but a cocoon phase getting us ready & building our strength for a more responsible & prosperous tomorrow. This is our light at the end of the tunnel so take heart. All of us will feel this in one of or other area of our life.

Degrees & Dates

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturn is turning at 13°55” which is a degree of unearthing what has permanent value & releasing what’s non essential - the very Essence of Saturn. Outdated positions & establishments will be seen demolished & unearthed as a result in administrations, organisational structures, country structures & borders.

This is the degree of Isaac Newton, J. R. R. Tolkien, Louis Braille - us finding a new language to give words to our identity - which we have realised as our intrinsic truth - us finding our voice & now creating real material things out of it.

It comes in conjunction with Star Wega - which was linked to Ma’at, the great Egyptian goddess of justice, truth & balance, who helped souls move from one life to another as it would be helping us transition forward. Measuring our heart/ soul & the weight of it as did Ma’at to see if we have released what’s required to move forward - a karmic justice of sorts & settlement of it in fair terms.

Upcoming Libra season will test all of us on it, that’s why right off the door Mercury and Venus will make a hard aspect of test with Saturn on 22 & 25 Sept - keep your strength - remember the lessons of past months - where in the past we said yes when we should have said no. Bring your new boundaries, foundations, strength, power , rule book for a test drive in coming days.

We are all work in progress but how far we have come will come to display around 7th & 14th October when we are put in a position to use our strength in disagreements or partnerships or relationships with people who form integral part of our personal & professional life. We are tested on our ability to move out of our comfort first zone. October is a Cardinal month - definitive directional crisp actions.

Karmic Trigger Dates

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning of Saturn always sets the stage for a karmic release as fantasy meets reality - non productive relationships, structures, projects, associations are released & new structure is set. The trigger dates of that are in my view between 28 Oct to 2 Nov when we will see karmic event occur to mark this new start under the influence of the new moon in Scorpio - with truth & strength.

We will experience this very strongly in global events as I mentioned in my July eclipse videos - We will see activation of two Solar eclipses of this year between 28 Oct to 2 Nov - I expect major world events to occur in this period related to government, restructuring, aggressive redefining actions leading to new order we expect to begin in Jan 2020.

Which area of life are you moving mountains ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spoke in detail about Saturn’s influence for each sign in your Sept monthly video but briefly - below is area of life where you might be experiencing the biggest restructuring & setting up solid foundations to reap material rewards for long term.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLv3tUTLu8-MTbf4G38ErxOlmA1ghAPtrk

Do note Saturn in Capricorn always brings influence to our public life - our external talk & in turn our leadership style irrespective of where it’s acting per your rising / sun / moon sign - it helps us define our usefulness - our service to the world so in day to day in one way or another we would see this shift bring clarity in our careers or what we call our “service”.

Naturally a lot of effort is going in this area but more importantly a new structure is about to emerge here which you would be living in 2020.

Perseverance, patience, willingness to serve, dissolving ego to release what’s not ours, releasing thoughts causing inefficiency of our mind, depending on our inner strength instead of external applause, drawing on your inner strength when external events seem to beat us down, paying dues before the rewards are key asks of lord of karma Saturn.

You can bookmark this article here - http://emailabuddy.com/blog/?p=800

So let’s settle a few karmic scores as the tide turns💫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♈️ #Aries - Career, public life, leadership style, authority

Saturn is prompting restructuring of your career, organisational structure of your company or organisation or structure you are integral part of & redefining your place in the works & your contribution, leadership style, your way of servicing & contributing, your official title & reputation or public image. Our identity physically & emotionally is redefined which in term influences our family life & home. Relationship with Father or fathers life goes through shifts as well. This is a new chapter in who you are known as & what you are creating as a leader for long term to contribute meaningfully to society in long run. Your place in the work, your personal brand of leadership, your public image is being relaunched & redefined for long run. Physical health needs discipline and bones / structure of body should be built on.

~14° or 21° Aries will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 3/10 Apr born for Aries Sun though all of you will experience this shift as it’s one of most important transit of next 30 years for you. Good luck 💫

♉️ #Taurus - Education, publication, travel, belief system, life purpose, visa, Father

Saturn is restructuring your higher mind, your knowledge, your belief system - prompting you to learn more, teach more, publish more, gain more knowledge through life experiences so you can become an effective guru, teacher, spiritual influence, established authority who can guide people across cultures & geographies. But to be a good teacher & influencer we first need to be a good student of life. Saturn turning direct shows you 1) the path forward, your higher purpose, your meaningful path 2) grants expansion of mind through higher education & achievement in the same, foreign influences / business travel, on job training, a mentor, legalisation or visa to foreign land and more importantly 3) gives you pathway to share your higher mind & teachings through publications of meaning, intellectual technical work which is shared with diverse set of people. Your life purpose & belief system - the spiritual code you live by is forever changed to adjust to a higher growth path you are now on. Your service & life purpose involves changing other people’s mind & belief system by being a mentor, a teacher who leads by example.

~14° or 21° Taurus can benefit the most in coming days; that’s around 4/11 May born for Taurus Sun though all will experience a shift in this area of life.

♊️ #Gemini - Rebirth, baptism by fire, healing, power, joint resources

Saturn is restructuring how you establish authority & power in joint situations to get fair share of proceeds of partnerships - personal or professional so money & intimacy, equipping you to be independent, healing you from within detoxing your past & karmic attachments or addictions that hold your power & emotional-physical health back. This is baptism by fire, rebirth & rise of Phoenix you name it - it’s powerful to say the least - more importantly it’s redefining your joint resources - partners finances & your joint destiny, your ability to manage other people’s money, it’s restructuring how you merge with others - how you retain your individuality, power, potential - it’s making you powerful, impactful in your dealings with others. Saturn has been chipping away at every fiber of karmic weakness that existed in your way of being by possibly exposing you to situations where fear & past losses had no place to exist anymore. It has taken you deep to places you normally don’t like to access & brought you back up stronger & surer. Having redefined your core, now is the time to bring this show to the road - bring this independence, sense of self, power, healing to transform financially, powerfully, physically, sexually. Your contribution or service to the world could possibly involve you digging deep , doing deep research on matters related to finance or medicine or occult, managing other people’s money, being part of power structure by being a force of transformation who brings out the new in a place that’s getting old or outdated. This isn’t an easy process but it’s one that introduces you to another dimension of you that you have not seen before.

~14° or 21° Gemini will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 4/11 Jun born for Gemini Sun though all of you will experience this shift

♋️ #Cancer - Partnership, clients, one on one relationships, critics, contracts

Saturn is restructuring your one on one relationships, partnerships, how you deal with your interest versus that of people in your life & your duty or obligations towards them, it’s redefining your rulebook of way of responding to your critics, it’s rewriting your commitments - kind of contracts you engage in or how you engage your clients. People close to you or in close relationships with you might have been in a process of churn, change, restructuring as who you commit to is being redefined. Also who is your influencer is redefined as we find ourself in presence of powerful people - who become our influencers, our Teachers, they refine who we are by our association with them. We find our self identity redefined through our relationships & our decisions taken with our business & personal partners. Long term Long lasting associations are made & old associations are released as our contracts go through complete restructure & redefinition. Verdicts are passed decisions are made for Long term - from your Real Estate agent, your doctor, your best friends to your business partner or life partner - all your close associations have been topic of reconsideration, restructure cause Saturn is asking you write a new rule book that allows you to give your best in commitments & when we aren’t allowed to be who we truly are we can’t give our best. So many of these old associations which have outlived their time, karma might be released as new Long term contracts are drawn & new life commitments are made. Our physical & emotional health & endurance is tested but we are given tools & discipline to rebuild strong foundations if any weakness is found. Now is the time to build this new life with your new rules & life commitments on strong footing.

~14° or 21° Cancer will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 5/11 July born for Cancer Sun though all of you will experience this shift as it’s one of most important transit of next 30 years for you - as is for like United States of America & it’s close allies or foes.

♌️ #Leo - work environment, health routines, work hierarchy

Saturn is restructuring your work environment, work hierarchy, job, obligations, your duties to elders - your parents, your rule book & boundaries used in dealing with coworkers, kind of projects you taken on, how to manage your team or your relationship with your environment, how much of your work life seeps into your physical & mental health and well being. Getting efficient in terms of kind of projects or responsibilities we takeon, having clear boundaries, detoxing immediate work environment, getting right kind of support structure at work, making sure we say no where a no is overdue in terms of obligations which compromise you & your health, paying our dues to our elders, cutting ties with the duties & obligations where karma is done and it’s time to move forward to be able to contribute what we came here to do, are all themes, objectives of Saturn and it’s turning direct allows you to manifest this. It allows you to create a structure of health & diet improvement that your body deserves & needs or reap benefits of work already done in this area. Work promotions, team restructuring, change in work hierarchy, renting an office space, changing work place or improving it, end of a karmic duty to family, effectively dealing with hereditary health issues, successful & more stable way to perform your duties, having right coworker support or team under you to support you are ways in which the karmic settlement of Saturn can turn out. Net result is a better Long term way of dealing with your obligations to make an impact of the order you desire. This is not an easy placement but letting this mold us can strength our mind body connection - our ability to change our perceived work environment by our thoughts our mind - as well as disciple to set right boundaries & support at job or in our obligations to give space to better health. Your contribution is improved by prioritising your wellbeing.

~14° or 21° Leo will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 6/13 Aug born for Leo Sun though all of you will experience this shift

♍️ #Virgo - giving birth to your legacy - a business venture, a child, love, investment risk

Saturn is restructuring your ability to take risks in your personal & professional life - taking you to heights of pleasure through a path of pain & hardwork - this is toil of blood & sweat done to create what we would like to call our legacy. A business venture you are passionate about, a child you find as an extension of you, a love commitment you would like to keep life Long, a Creative work that’s your dream, an investment risk you are taking which feels just right or a new framework of taking investment risk that you are creating - they are all part of gifts of Saturn here which are crowning in this last push of labor after nine months of non stop efforts. Framework has been in process, restructuring has been in process - what’s coming now is rolling out what you have planned - setting the plan into action. Last stages of major Creative or business venture work, next stage in child’s development or education or in your responsibility as a parent, solidifying your love commitments, powerful friends, taking on an investment risk beyond your past capacity after long consideration, are ways in which your legacy might be in process of being born.

So far we have been conservative, detailed, may be even inhibited in our confidence of things working out but Saturn turning direct gives us a solid footing - a knowing that something long lasting is being created. Later in December when Jupiter comes to this area too we will go bolder & bigger - for now we will tick all the boxes & be exacting, be meticulous to make sure we are filtering out any unwanted investment & personal risk as we start seeing concrete progress on work done in last nine months.

~14° or 21° Virgo can benefit the most in coming days; that’s around 6/13 Sept born for Virgo Sun though all will experience a shift in this area of life.

♎️ #Libra -Home, Family, real estate, inner foundations - your core, support system

Saturn is restructuring your emotional foundations cause you gotto strengthen the base when your opposite house of career is being expanded so you have the requisite support system to take on more visible public life & career path. So we have been mending, repairing, paying our dues to our family duties, to our place of living - enhancing, fencing, repairing, strengthening it. It’s our survival instincts - what do we do when no one’s watching - how do we feel secure, what & who do we draw on, what gives us comfort, what’s the strong core we fall back on when external life puts us in spotlight. You are creating a life time of strong emotional foundations, family structure, support system, physical home of solid footing to support your public aspirations. In the process of it all you are meeting you as you complete this last stage of maturation of your inner world. Leaks in our home or emotional life have been highlighted & worked on - nows the time to build upon this solid foundation - like when property development begins on a land that’s been thoroughly raked & levelled post demolition all ready to resurrect a solid high rise on. We are ready for new structure of our public life as we see support from our inner foundations at soul level, having detoxed the elements & patterns that wouldn’t work in your expanded career or public life or whatever new title of worldly responsibility you are about to take on.

~14° or 21° Libra will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 7/14 Oct born for Libra Sun though all of you will experience this shift as it’s one of most important transit of next 30 years for you. Good luck 💫

♏️ #Scorpio - Commercial & Communication skills, our mind, courage

Saturn is restructuring refining our mind & talk - internal & external - creating efficiency in the way we talk, think, connect, communicate, express our ideas, our thoughts; how we influence & connect with our immediate environment. Life long skills that yield value for our lifetime are created, refined, aced under this influence. More importantly any inefficient & weakness of our mind, our courage is worked on to create a new foundation of how we think, talk, write, express our commercial & intellectual skills. We study, write, self educate, take online courses, edit refine define our work, our marketing strategy, our voice, our messaging; more importantly we Detox old thinking patterns that keep us stuck or don’t let us connect positively with our immediate environment. Things that test our courage, strength of our mind come up. Saturn turning direct opens the path to now bring this stronger, firmer mindset; the skills we have honed, polished, improved upon; the contracts, communication or commercial projects we have drafted envisioned reviewed; our views thoughts ideas that we have been mulling over - now to the world - launching the new framework of sharing your views with the world. Publish, write, speak, travel, take short trips, gain license to practice your new skills, read, gain gather collate publish important information, get contracts written agreements through, influence through your mind & speech - its a new mindset which unveils a different material reality for you as our thoughts create our reality. This rebirth of your mind & courage. In few cases new structure of siblings career can also unfold.

~14° or 21° Scorpio can benefit the most in coming days; that’s around 6/13 Nov born for Scorpio Sun though all will experience a shift in this area of life.

♐️ #Sagittarius - Material resources, self worth & networth, assets, diet

Saturn is restructuring your value system, your ability to generate long term abundance through giving you the persistence to develop skill sets that will reap you material benefit & increase your self worth over long period of time. At the same time, it has been prompting you to Detox your expenses, assets, get more involved in financial planning for future, make sure you have sound foundations of material resources to support you. Saturn cuts through the unnecessary, the inefficiencies in how we use our resources - physical & mental - so your energy, your time, your skills, your mindshare is being focused on specific projects or jobs or sources of income - releasing making space for what’s important relevant lucrative & Long term for you when it comes to sources of income. Having gone through a tedious process of setting this rule book, now is the time to get the show on the road - launch this new framework, this new revenue source, new skill set & create value from it. Serve the world with your skills, your organisational capabilities, your ability to turn around financial situations & creating value out of situations. Key skill that’s created with this is ability to spot opportunities that can generate stable revenue. Key value system that this builds within you is of confidence that you can turn any situation around - most importantly that your self worth isn’t attached to any specific asset or bank balance or a number. As much as you are launching the framework of building that bank balance but you are launching a new worth - you are whose value has been enhanced - you are the valuable asset in this & it’s been all about enhancing your value both as a skilled person as well as a person of strong value system. So Saturn turning direct now brings this sense of self, this product of this whole ordeal - you - now to the outer world & they see the the new framework of you that you have created as you create both material & spiritual abundance in coming days. Your physical body is a resource too, so diet, enhancing your physical strength is very much an integral part of this value adding exercise you have embarked upon - make ful, use of the discipline of Saturn to set a long term health & diet program.

Launch this new framework of value creation till December when your ruler Jupiter also comes in this area of your chart - expanding the work you have done so far, adding scale, prosperity to it further.

♑️ #Capricorn - All of you - your career, body, how you show up to the world

Capricorn your ruler in your sign first time in 30 years is nothing short of getting a new life - it’s a complete reset & it might have felt like pulling teeth while it was retrograde in past few months as it’s been having us work on our inner world, our emotions, strengthening us from within to make our core strong to take on more responsibilities as well as achievements that lay ahead of you to be had. Saturn helps us become the best version of ourself, shedding negative habits, attitudes & yes it shows us the weakness in our ways of handling things but also gives us the tools to strength every inch of weakness that existed in our physical, mental, moral fiber to be more, to be all we can be. Having dealt with the lesson of patience & old limitations, this is where the tide turns as it’s time to start launching the new framework of you both in your professional & personal life - your new rule book that’s based on realisation of what truly matters to you, what’s for you, who is for you & how to effectively be the authority of your life no matter what sphere of your life. Our ego has been dissolved for it was required for the higher powers to mold us in the direction in the way we needed to go - usefulness & strength is given birth to. It’s not an easy rebirth but your sign wasn’t built with such huge endurance for easier things. As they say uneasy lies the head that wears a crown - but nows the time to wear the crown - take your new responsibility, leadership, higher position on & next few months you will see yourself stepping into that role as unknowingly or knowingly the rules of your life & what you want out of it has changed. Since you aren’t the same person internally now your external reality has to reflect who you have become. That’s the process of next few months till December & you will find support to get there. As one key lesson of past few months has been also to ask for support & knowing who to ask & how to ask. Past months also created clear awareness of what has Long ended in our life & now we get the framework, strength & impetus to release it for food, for when you have decided to be more you cannot be less - you simply cannot go back. There is peace, ease, strength, more importantly there is truth in our path ahead which makes us feel comfortable to be in our own skin as our new life unveils in front of us & damn you have worked for it!

Health is key focus - make sure what you have learned about your body in past few months you make that discipline of your lifetime, right now you have the strength & impetus to do it, set it in stone. Personal achievements, status, shift in your position in hierarchy of an organisation, moving forward in a family obligation or progress in your journey as a parent, progress in career or your public reputation, progress in a key life decision or resolution of a verdict - are various ways Saturn can unlock things which were held up structurally.

~14° or 21° Capricorn will feel this the most in coming days; that’s around 5/12 Jan born for Capricorn Sun though all of you will experience this shift as it’s one of most important transit of next 30 years for you. Good luck 💫

♒️ #Aquarius - Release, Faith, fears, hidden strength & talents, Devine timing or intervention

Saturn your ruler, is restructuring all that’s below the surface hidden even from us - our fears, phobias, inhibitions. It’s refining our strengths we didn’t see before - our hidden talents, our unknown beneficiaries, our angels, our own core strength, our faith & bringing all of that in play as we are setting the stage for our ruler Saturn to enter your sign in Mar 2020 which is nothing short of living a new life . This is the cadent period, the period of preparing, paying our dues, our karmic obligations to higher powers, to our parents, to our vocation, we are diligently serving our responsibilities behind the scene for we know this period of solitude - “The Silent years” as Bible described it - is when your whole environment within you is shifting which shifts your external existence for long run. This is your reservoir - the place we draw from unknowingly whenever we need to do what has to be done - you are strengthening that reservoir - dealing with your own demons within & outside one set for all so they don’t come in the path you are carving for yourself. Spiritual practices are set, faith is strengthened, healing is achieved, involuntarily we pay any dues as we deal with every shaky pebble in our career path & our physiological life without much noise & ado. Having been through the inner journey which was deep over last few months - now we bring those hidden talents, that strength, that faith into play to visible world. It’s when responsibilities are effectively dealt with ease, our psychological / spiritual /healing discipline starts showing external results in how you deal with your work, your relationships, your coworkers, your projects, your enemies / critics / adversaries, any government or authority dealings. You are on a Mission, others may not know it but you know what it is - it becomes easier to work on that Mission - your “service” to the world.

The health practices & spiritual practices you have developed in this phase are your support for life time as is the faith & psychological strength you have developed. We feel a bit lighter cause this is the house of karmic burdens & a weight is being lifted off as we finally make progress in our path. I call this phase as “phase of God’s timing” or whatever higher powers you believe in cause it’s a very destined or karmic time when the more you release control from the situation - the more the situation moves in the direction you want - I learned my biggest life lessons in this phase - not to try to control my destiny too much. We aren’t the best story tellers so why be intent on it -allow your life to flow- it will take you places your own imagination never travelled to. Work will always be there - it’s your default mode you always put in the work - it’s more about our ego which makes us want it to result in an exact output. Saturn here is more intent in changing our insides - our ego, our undoing versus external life - it’s been at it for past few months now you see the benefit of releasing that control as life takes you to places you didn’t originally plan to go. Where is the magic in knowing everything 👼

♓️ #Pisces - Vision, hopes, dreams, friends, social network

Saturn is restructuring what your life’s vision is - what you need to create in this life time that would outlast you - your dream, your vision, its concrete, it’s substantial, it has element of service which benefits groups of people or collective. At the same time it’s restructuring who will go on this journey with you - who are your friends, Long term supporters, fam base, the platform that builds you, launches you at wider scale - your social presence & business network and influence is being redefined & refined. Past few months might have been time of arrested growth in external growth cause we were restructuring our inner self to adjust to what we are about to embark upon. Before we can influence others, benefit others, we need to be sure of our own messaging, our own vision, we need to be sure of what platform we would use, which groups we would be part of or influence. Having been through months of this restructuring - now with Saturn direct we have lift off & launch of our vision in coming months. Support from authorities, network, influential business partners, wealthy friends, platform launches, breaking through influential group, taking a group along on a Mission & achieving socially, launching your talents at wider scale -are ways in which Saturn going direct can benefit in coming weeks to you. Restructuring your passions to make them useful for masses or relaunching your creative work in a modified format or with a modified appeal or on a modified platform or to a different set of society or group could be ways to make wider impact. We pay our dues to society here by using our instrinsic skills or talents and make them available to your supporters, society, groups at events, or through online means, or through influential friends or business partners. You are here to make an impact on wider scale - this is the phase when tools required to make it happen come through & this could be in creative field or in a corporate hierarchy. Powerful people & influences that reshape our life path usually meet us changing our view of our life & talent - this might have already happened & now we launch with new life with diligence & perseverance.

~14° or 21° Pisces can benefit the most in coming days; that’s around 4/11 Mar born for Pisces Sun though all will experience a shift in this area of life.

#SaturnDirect #Saturn #dailyhoroscope #weeklyhoroscope #monthlyhoroscope #horoscopes #horoscopeposts #astrologyposts #astrologypost #horoscopepost

[pgoeltz]

THE STINKFOOT ORCHESTRA

In the early months of 2019, South Bay musician Nick Chargin (keyboards and vocals) got a wild hair up his ass. Best known for his work with the successful Bay Area cover band, the Houserockers, Nick had the idea of assembling an ensemble to give a tip of the hat to one of his greatest musical influences – Frank Zappa. The goal he set was to perform a handful of shows in the Winter of 2020 in celebration of what would have been Frank’s 80th birthday.

But it couldn’t be just any band… There had to be horns. There had to be a mallet player. There had to be backup singers. This had to be more than a band that was capable of playing “all the right notes” – it had to be a band that was capable of performing Frank’s music with accuracy and integrity.

The first two people he contacted were Victor Manning (a guitarist with whom Nick had played music with for well over 20 years) and Jon Hassan (a Baritone/Tenor Sax player and fellow member of the Houserockers) – who were both rabid fans of Frank’s music. With their buy-in, Nick quickly filled out the rhythm section with friends and fellow Zappaphiles Michael Palladino (drums) and Josh Baker (bass). It took some time to fill the mallet player slot, but after scaring away multiple Bay Area orchestral percussionists, they found a musician willing to take on the enormous challenge of covering Ruth Underwood’s impossible lines in Dillon Vado (tuned percussion). The 6-piece horn section came together by enlisting Mark “Dbone” DeSimone (Trombone), Kevin Kono (Trumpet, Flugel Horn), Jo Major (Tenor/Soprano Sax and Flute), Mike McWilliams (Trumpet), and Paul Degen (Tenor/Alto/Bari Sax and Flute). The ensemble was eventually rounded out with 3 dedicated vocalists – Suzi Baker , Amy Barnes , and Mike Boston .

A couple months into rhythm section rehearsals, the group was hit with an enormous loss when their guitarist, Victor Manning, passed away unexpectedly. After a month of grieving and waffling on whether to scrap the project altogether, Nick came to the conclusion that Victor “would have kicked my ass” if he did not see this project to fruition. After a significant search, the band found the perfect replacement in Tomek Sikora (guitar) and they began the daunting task of learning some very difficult music. But it could still come up a notch…

Nick and other members of the band had worked with Zappa alumni Ike Willis 15 years previously, and Nick thought the one thing that would give this band a real sense of authenticity would be to front it with one of Frank’s dynamic male vocalists. So, with the help of his friend André Cholmondeley (leader of the legendary East Coast Zappa tribute band, Project Object), Nick was able to enlist the legendary Napoleon Murphy Brock – a San Jose native who served as the iconic voice of Frank’s music throughout the early 1970‘s.

When asked what songs people can expect the band to cover, Nick responds “Well, given the fact that we have Napoleon on board, we are naturally incorporating a large amount of material from his era with Frank. Roxy and Elsewhere (Zappa’s 1974 live double album) is one of my favorite albums of all time, so there are a number of songs we pulled from that. Apostrophe, One Size Fits All, Bongo Fury…folks can expect a sizable amount of material from those albums. At the same time, Frank’s catalog is so immense and diverse that we can’t properly present a snapshot of his work without delving into everything from his earliest days with the Mothers through the 1980‘s. We have an amazing 6-piece horn section, so we are able to do justice to stuff from albums such as The Grand Wazoo and Waka Jawaka. We have 5 great singers, so we are also tackling some more vocal-intensive stuff from You Are What You Is and Joe’s Garage…really, there is something for fans of all periods of Frank’s music. I don’t want to give away too much more – we want to keep a certain element of surprise to the performances, ya know?”

Given the amount of work required to perform much of Zappa’s material, one might question what motivates this group of musicians to dedicate themselves to such a huge undertaking. Nick’s response is simple… “Frank’s music has had such a huge influence over my musical development. It actually makes me a little nuts when I think of the fact that his virtuosity never really received proper accolades here in the States. This music is historically important – and I feel it is the responsibility of those who ‘get it’ to help keep it alive and, hopefully, introduce more people to it. On any given night, I realize that we may serve as someone’s first exposure to Frank Zappa – and I don’t take that responsibility lightly.”

“It has been a tremendous amount of work, but I cannot even begin to list the ways in which it has been fulfilling for me as a musician”, Nick continues. “Yes, getting the lines under our fingers has been a challenge, but that merely scratches the surface of what it has taken to bring this project to the stage. Most of the horn charts were transcribed by ear from various (Zappa) ensembles by Dbone, Hassan and me – but I had never created a horn chart in my life – quite a way to cut one’s teeth…” he says. “Never mind the logistics involved with getting such a large group of working musicians together and dealing with all managerial aspects of the band. Yeah – it’s been a full-time job for me for the past year, but well worth the effort. I can’t wait for people to hear what we have put together. Perhaps I’m a bit biased, but I think people are going to be blown away by this project.”

                                   NICK CHARGIN

KEYBOARDS & VOCALS & VISIONS & POODLE GROOMING

Nick began studying piano at age 5, later picking up guitar at age 15. A California native, Nick moved to San Jose in 1984 to study music production, keyboard synthesis and performance at SJSU under Dan Wyman and Alan Strange. He has been playing professionally since age 17 with the majority of his time spent writing, playing and recording original music with such Bay Area bands as Swing Party, BlissNinnies, Elephino and Corduroy Jim. Over the years, Nick has shared the stage with such acts as the String Cheese Incident, Leftover Salmon, Zero, the Kantner Balin Cassidy Band, Steve Kimmock, KVHW, JGB, the Radiators, Merle Saunders, Eddie Money, Starship, Firehose, Wang Chung and Jonathan Richman. For the past 15 years, Nick has been a vital part of the critically acclaimed South Bay band, the Houserockers, has backed the legendary Zigaboo Modeliste and at one point assembled a short-lived band playing Zappa music backing Ike Willis.

                   NAPOLEON MURPHY BROCK

VOCALS & TENOR SAX & FLUTE & STYLE ICON

Napoleon Murphy Brock, front man for Frank Zappa in the early seventies, was first discovered by Frank on a day off in Hawaii. Frank and his band stopped into a club where Brock was leading his band through a set of originals and contemporary funk, rock and blues hits. Zappa was immediately struck by Brock’s voice and sax playing, but was particularly taken by his commanding stage presence.

Brock soon hit the stage and studio with Zappa, first appearing on the breakthrough album, Apostrophe (‘). By 1974, Napoleon had learned and memorized the Zappa Song Book (including new material written specifically for Napoleon) and recordings from the 1973 concerts were soon released on what many consider to be Frank’s penultimate live album – Roxy and Elsewhere. To this day, the all-star “Roxy Band” is commonly considered one of the greatest bands that Frank ever assembled.

The release of One Size Fits All followed which, like Roxy, became hugely influential on not only Zappa fans, but fans of progressive rock, fusion, and bluesy jazz-rock in general. In 1975 Zappa released the iconic Bongo Fury, a live album which documented the collaborative tour that year with the last Mothers lineup (including old friend and co-conspirator, Captain Beefheart).

After the 1975 and 1976 Zappa tours, Brock went on to tour and record with fellow Zappa alum George Duke in his

hugely popular George Duke Band. He went on to make several albums with Duke including Master Of The Game,

Follow The Rainbow, Dukey Treats, and Don’t Let Go (which spawned Duke’s huge hit “Dukey Stick”).

At the end of the 1970’s, Frank again called on Napoleon to provide vocals on the recording of Sheik Yerbouti – which went on to become Zappa’s biggest selling album worldwide. The fact that Frank called on Napoleon to lay down vocal tracks (including the lead vocal on “Wild Love”) speaks volumes about Frank’s continued respect and trust in Napoleon’s vocal prowess.

Since 2001, Brock has worked with several Zappa tribute bands around the world including Project/Object, the longest continually touring alumni-based Zappa tribute band in the world. In 2007, Napoleon received a Grammy Award for his work with Dweezil Zappa on the live album release from the inaugural tour of Zappa Plays Zappa. He continues to perform, record and lecture around the world.

                   ,

DILLON VADO

TUNED PERCUSSION & IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBILITIES

Dillon Vado is a professional drummer and vibraphonist in the San Francisco Bay Area, and a graduate of the California Jazz Conservatory in Berkeley. He grew up in San Jose, where he played many small club gigs on drums and marched snare drum for the Santa Clara Vanguard. He has recorded at Fantasy Studios,  and played with many musicians at The Freight and Salvage, Yoshi’s, and the SF Jazz Center. He has also performed overseas at the Montreux Jazz Festival in Switzerland and the Umbria Jazz Festival in Italy. Dillon has performed with Art Lande, Hafez Modirzadeh, Royal Hartigan,  Marcus Shelby, Erik Jekabson, Jeff Denson, Alan Hall, Jovino Santos Neto, Marcos Silva and Kate McGarry. In 2014, Dillon won 1st place in the Jazz Search West competition on vibraphone. Dillon was also acknowledged as the Most Promising Young Jazz Artist of 2017 from the  Buddy Montgomery Jazz Legacy Awards. He regularly performs on vibraphone with Alan Hall’s Ratatet, on drums with The Jeff Denson Quartet, and Erik Jekabson’s Electric Squeezebox Orchestra and leads several of his own projects, including Never Weather, The Table Trio, and Beyond Words: Jazz and Poetry.

                   JOSH BAKER

BASS & RANDOM SCREAMS

Josh started his love of music with the Piano at age 8 and was hooked. The bass came into focus at age 12. Josh’s early years on bass was  in the Abraham Lincoln High School Jazz band for 4 years where he had the privilege of playing many in High School Jazz band competitions and even playing in Hawaii for the Aloha Bowl. Josh also received the Louis Armstrong High School Jazz Award for recognition in his Senior year. After High School, Josh spent his summer at the Berklee College summer music program in Santa Fe New Mexico. Josh studied 2 years with bass player Keith Jones( Santana, Flora Purim,and Andy Narrell)

Josh has played with local bands Sporadic Greetings, George Heagerty & Never the Same, Soup, Grampa’s Chili, the Sliders, Black Sunday RoadShow and Levi Jack

                   MICHAEL PALLADINO

DRUMS & SPANKINGS

Michael has been drumming professionally in the greater Bay Area for over 25 years. He studied various rhythmic styles ranging from jazz to West African and afro-Cuban under the tutelage of San Jose State professors Dan Sabanovich and Royal Hartigan. His band credits include Soup, Sporadic Greetings, Mescalito, Corduroy Jim, Grampa’s Chili and Tricycle Side Project, for which he had the opportunity to perform with Ike Willis from Frank Zappa’s esteemed list of previous band members. He has performed at hundreds of venues up and down the entire West Coast bringing his unique style and energy to every performance he gives.

                   JON HASSAN

SAXOPHONES & MEGAPHONES & STANK

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

                   JO MAJOR

SAXOPHONES & FLUTE & PUNCTUALITY

Jo Major began playing professionally in his teens and has played with a variety of groups, including the Jimmy Dorsey band and the University of Illinois Jazz Ensemble. In the local area,  he has been featured with A Touch of Brass, the KA Wonton Little Latin Jazz Big Band, Bug Horn Rex and the Chabot Jazz Ensemble.In settings ranging from salsa to swing, he has been featured with Ernie Watts, Bobby Shew, Eric Marienthal, Wayne Bergeron, Francisco Torres, and Geoffrey Keezer.Jo has studied with Ben Torres, Kristen Strom, Charlie McCarthy, Bob Reynolds, Chad Lefkowitz-Brown and Chris Cheek. He is a member of Bob Reynolds Studio.

                   MIKE MCWILLIAMS

TRUMPETS & CRUMPETS

Mike McWilliams started playing the trumpet back in 1974. In 1986, he began performing with cover bands and performing all over the SF Bay Area. He currently is a member of the Houserockers horn section, and teaches private lessons as well as public middle schools with the School Spirit band program.

Mike believes that there is no substitute for real horns, and his influences include Tower of Power, Earth Wind and Fire, Maynard Ferguson, and Doc Severnsen. Mike heard his first Zappa cassette tape in 1977 while on tour with the Santa Clara Vanguard and, many years later is enjoying playing this amazing music.

                   KEVIN KONO

TRUMPET & FLUGLEHORN & MASTIC ADHESIVES

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

                   PAUL DEGEN

SAXOPHONES & FLUTE & HYDROHYPNOTHERAPY

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt.

                   TOMEK SIKORA

GUITARS & ALL THINGS POLISH

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt.

                   MIKE BOSTON

VOCALS & GUTTURAL UTTERANCES

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

                   MARK ‘D-BONE’ DE SIMONE

TROMBONISMS & EVER-CHANGING FACIAL HAIRS

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nullam eu dignissim tortor, sit amet bibendum lacus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

                   AMY BARNES

VOCALS & ASTRAL PROJECTION

Amy Barnes began studying piano and flute at the age of 8. After a fateful move to Santa Cruz at the age of 16, she joined forces with the Musical Group World Entertainment War for 5 very entertaining years. Increasingly fascinated with the human voice, she embarked on an obsessive vocal discovery mission; earning a B.A in Voice Performance from UOP Conservatory followed by an M.A. In Voice Performance from UC Santa Cruz. She has prepared works in more than a dozen languages, and has enjoyed teaching singing as much as the singing itself. Amy has travelled thru many different musical galaxies over the years, and is currently very much enjoying her visit to the Zappa Constellation…

                   SUZI BAKER

VOCALS & KALE DISTRIBUTION

Suzanne Baker began her singing career touring with Plum Tuckered, a children’s musical performing group under the direction of Lynn Shurtleff, musical director and composer from Santa Clara University. While growing up, she enjoyed singing in many school and church choirs, but she honed her skills at Abraham Lincoln High School for the Performing Arts in the sixteen member Swing Choir, under the voice instruction of Connie Lukien, musical director of the San Jose Civic Light Opera.  She went on to be lead singer of the innovative band, Sporadic greetings from 1990-1992 and sang back-up vocals in various other bands over the years.  She is very fond of her time directing her own elementary school choirs and currently assisting with her classroom musicals.

                           Victor Manning

Guitars

[1358456]

Lack of Updates?

So... let’s take a look at all the active stories and their last update date.

DE: July 6 (3 months) SC: Sept 7 (1 month... already?!) Legacy: May 25 (4.5 months) Heart: May 11 (5 months) Wings: Sept 7 (1 month) SoS: “5 months ago” (5.0 - 5.9 months)

It’s somehow been a month already since Wings and SC were updated, and much longer for the others. ... And updating the stuff on Ao3, which I haven’t done since... March 7. Hm.

Honesty time!! As usual for these kinds of posts, TL;DR version is down in the bottom, before the “keep reading” thingy.

For Ao3, I stopped updating SE there because an upcoming chapter requires SA to end first, and SA is nowhere near the end there. And for whatever reason, updating the other stories’ existing chapters once every 2 weeks was so annoying that I just stopped. So... I think what I’m going to do TOMORROW (note to self) is update all that remains for SA at once. And once that’s done, I can update everything in SE (so far) a week* or so later. *6 to 8 months

SoS... I’m working on it. I THINK I can have it finished soon. MAYBE this week?

SC and Wings were “just” updated, so they won’t be seeing an update for a bit. ... SC might because I want to work on it, but Wings will not be seeing an update until 2020. Triple the review count for the last chapter, and THEN we’ll see. Shouldn’t be too hard, since that’s just +4.

DE... I forgot what I was going to do for it. And it’s not my immediate priority anyways, so... it shall remain forgotten for now.

Heart... I don’t know what happened to it. I forgot everything about it. Whoops.

Legacy... it’s wedged. Like, the story progression events kind of conflict with each other. The details will be given in the bottom of this post, after the whole “keep reading” thingy. IF that decides to show this time around. I noticed that some posts that I make ignore the “keep reading” thing I put in, and show everything at once. Well, in the event of that, I’ll just have to put like a double manual line break to signify spoilers ahead.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(This was a SINGLE manual line break)

Now, one BIG reason why the updates are slow and no progress has been made in the past month or so is because my current interest in Pokemon Special (and all of Pokemon entirely) is at a flat 0. It was declining pretty fast for a while before that point, and now it’s at a flat 0. Hell, after that fallout, I haven’t checked or seen anything from Pokemon Special. BW2 probably updated twice since the last time I checked. So... two updates would be one full chapter? What happened in it? I don’t know. The greatest thing in the manga could’ve happened. Or the absolute dumbest thing could’ve happened, and I don’t have a clue, nor do I care. Has SM/USM updated? Probably at least once. I have no idea what happened in it. And I also don’t remember where it left off. Has SS arc started? ... Have those games come out yet? No idea. What little interest I have for the arcs, I have even less for the games. 0 < 0??

Hell, I don’t even know where my 3DS is right now. My friend gave it to me for free, and I used it ONLY for the Generation VI/VII Pokemon games, and I put it away somewhere because I wasn’t going to be using it any time soon, and now I don’t know where that is. Not that I actually tried to look for it, but that’s besides the point.

Anyways, the point is... me trying to write up the update chapters is me trying to write about a series I don’t really care that much about anymore, with characters I’ve moved on from. I’m trying to force myself back into things, but the progress is slow. The whole headcanon chronology and the random X & Y tidbit were a part of me trying to force the interest back. In that regard, I’m compiling the full headcanon chronology, including the headcanons for EVERYONE instead of just Red and Blue (and a bit from Platinum). That will take a while, and in order to make such a thing, I’ll have to look at my own stories pretty closely which should hopefully force some interest back.

Now, why am I holding on instead of letting go? Well... I’ll have to return to Pokemon Special in a little while anyways, albeit briefly, so... letting go now is meaningless. And I’ll be checking out the manga again only to see Sword and Shield and their personalities, abilities, stats, etc. Stats??

And hey, maybe if Sword and Shield are interesting enough, it might just rekindle my interest altogether! ... I kind of doubt it but it’s certainly possible!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, TL;DR version... updates are taking a while because of the lack of interest in the series as a whole, so have patience, s’il vous plait. Updates will come. The time will come! The period of update-hiatus will end! 苦盡甘來, 捲土重來! ... Okay, neither saying particularly fits well with the current situation, but the two put together KIND of works in painting the right picture, so hey.

Okay. Now time to see why Legacy update is wedged, how it’s wedged, and what the possible solutions are. Spoiler time. Why spoil the story stuff? Because why not. I think there are exactly two people who read my stories AND my Tumblr posts. Maybe three. So I’m not spoiling a lot of people (nor am I spoiling a lot because most of what I’m going to write has already been discussed in the story). So for you two (or three), proceed at your own discretion. You know who you are. And no, I’m talking about YOU, who stopped a bit after 1/3rd of Destiny over two months ago. YOU know who you are as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Double manual line breaks)

So, why is the Legacy update stuck?! Let’s look at the plot thus far, and in particular, the unnamed enemy’s plans. The enemy does have a name, but it will be hidden for now to avoid the major reveal later on. MUCH later on. So we’re talking like 7 years at this rate (...).

The enemy is trying to progress with a project called K3, which seems to be a part of a K-series of projects, given how “there will not be a K4″ (Legacy #001: Rendezvous), and K2 already existing (Legacy #004: Derailed). Given how K2 talks in an automated voice and gives VERY accurate data like time in 1/100th of a second, it’s safe to assume that this K2 is an AI. So then K3 is assumed to be the next version in a line of AI projects that requires money, the Rotom Dex, and Blue for whatever reason. Given what they said about Platinum’s mental capacity during her kidnapping, it’s likely that they’re trying to use particularly brilliant individuals’ brain scans (Legacy #004: Derailed) as a base for the AI memory matrices. Blue is canonically quite ingenious with technical stuff, which would make her quite suitable. ... Cortana, much? ... Remember all those Cortana quotes Blue used back in SA? (”Could you sacrifice me to complete your mission? Could you watch me die?”) Heh... Anyways. The enemy currently has money and the Rotom Dex. So all they need now is Blue. And that is where the wedging occurs.

In order for the enemy to snatch Blue and proceed with their final “ingredient” in K3, the Dex Holders need to NOT be on alert. Currently, they ARE on alert because Platinum and Y were briefly kidnapped. The Dex Holders’ discussions led to the conclusion that no more Dex Holders may be targeted from this point, so if that continues, then they will no longer be on alert, which is good. BUT the latest chapter also had Moon being attacked, and set on fire, while her Rotom Dex was stolen. If the others find out, they are going to stay on alert for a long, long time.

From here, I have 3 possible solutions, each with their own logical issues and requirement problems.

1) Moon does NOT tell the others what happened. This gets the other Dex Holders in the Kanto-Johto area to relax pretty shortly, thus allowing the rest of the plot to go ahead. The problem is... why would Moon not tell anyone, and what would happen when Moon meets up with the others? She’ll be covered in bandages, so everyone is going to ask what the hell happened. “I... um... fell down some stairs? ... That magically gave me burn wounds?”

2) Moon tells the others what happened, and moves to regroup with everyone else. At this point, Moon and Sun will move to the nearest region of Hoenn, gather the Dex Holders there, and then move to Kanto/Johto to regroup. Which means everyone will be gathered at the same time. And I don’t want everyone gathered up into a giant deathball. But from here, there are two different solutions.

2a) The enemy lures the Dex Holders into their fake HQ, and then fakes defeat, thus getting them to think that the crisis is over. ... The problem with this is that... well... this kind of thing is very hard to go unnoticed by a certain group who really should not be made aware of this yet. And the Dex Holders already know that their enemy is quite sophisticated. So if their HQ seems like... real shitty, they’re going to know something’s up.

2b) The enemy goes into hiding, so the Dex Holders slowly lower their guard after a long period of time. The enemy also happens to need some time to get their project underway until they need their final piece, but... they’re not going to need that long. And if things take too long to progress, Moon’s injuries would fully heal, but the rest of Legacy requires her burn wounds to remain. Healing, but not healed. That said, it’s not mandatory, but... it’s a decently big deal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that’s where Legacy stands. I haven’t figured out a 4th solution that avoids all conflicts and still gets everything rolling.

... Hmm... I think I’m just now getting a possible solution. Maybe. This will require some thought...

Now, this dilemma caused the wedge right now because depending on which solution I go for, the next chapter will vary. So I can’t actually write the next chapter until I decide on the solution and then work things out from there. So... yep. Just have patience ㅠ.ㅜ...

[yaachtynoboat711]

Our Next Guest...

A/N: Here’s my contribution to @hoopshoney and @purple-apricots With Love, From Wakanda fic fest! I’m so excited to temporarily break from Fonder’s angsty chains and coming with that present-day Yaa and Wins! I apologize for the tardiness of this fic, as I started my new job this week. I had to dust this off from the depths of my archives due to the time crunch. I was going to do my M’Baku x OC, but my time was limited.

Word Count: 2.4K

Warning(s): Fluff, Black Love

Prompt: “Have I mentioned how much I love you? Only twice in the past hour.”

“Chris, I’m fucking terrified.”,you huffed.

You were in your dressing room getting ready to finally begin your Sheimbloom press junket. The first stop was Jimmy Kimmel Live, one of your favorite talk shows. You’d been delaying the tour for personal reasons. Now, it was here and you were going alone. Winston was in the middle of a project in New York. Plus, it was Valentine’s Day. It sucked knowing that Winston couldn’t make it, however,it was worth knowing that he was being supportive and giving you advice on TV interviews. You’d had many a print interview, but never a TV interview.

“Baby, you’ll do fine. You’re a lawyer: you orate for a living. Plus, you love Jimmy, so this’ll be a breeze.”, Winston reassured via FaceTime.

“Yeah, you’re right...I guess.”

“You’re damn right I’m right. I can’t recall a time I was ever wrong. ”

“Well shit I can.”, you smirked, earning an annoyed huff and eye roll from your fiancé.

“ANYWAYS, are you going to indirectly promote Us?”

“Hasn't it already been promoted enough?”

“Now, what’s that supposed to mean,Yaa Denae?” One of the production assistants walked in at the perfect moment.

“Dr. Abdullah, we’re ready for you.”, the PA said.

“Well, won’t you look at the time! I love you, baby love!”,Yaa said in a hurry.

“I love you, too, Pumpkin. Gimme love.” The two of you did your secret handshake despite the distance and he hung up.

“K.D., you two are just too cute for words.”, your assistant Talia gushed as you handed her your phone.

You walked out of your dressing room along with Talia and your other assistant Jacqui to the backstage area.

When you got backstage, you found a mirror to check yourself out and posed for your OOTD post. Winston picked your outfit: simple black blouse with matching flared pants and a Tuskegee crimson and old gold striped ascot (your choice,of course). He even picked out the leopard pumps. That man had an eye for fashion. Your curly platinum locs were pulled neatly into a ponytail.

“Dr. Abdullah, you’re up in 60 seconds!”, you heard the PA announce. “Thank you!”, you replied. You took this time to recite your affirmation to yourself:

I am enough;I am here for a reason;I am here to slay; I am my ancestors’ wildest dreams!

Finally, you walked into the elevator as you heard the countdown and studio applause before hearing Jimmy’s introduction. “Welcome back! Our next guest is no stranger to shattering glass ceilings. In addition to graduating valedictorian of Yale Law School at the age of 23,yeah, twen-ty three, this past July, she became the youngest and the first Black woman to win the Richard T. Sheimbloom Award for Merit and Excellence in Law--the highest award for any lawyer in the world to receive. Please, help me welcome for the first time, Attorney Khalida Abdullah!”

The audience erupted into cheer, but not before the elevator door slid open to you doing that little Thotiana jig. You waved to the audience and gave them your brightest Miss Tuskegee smile. You strutted your way towards Jimmy and hugged him before sitting down. “Well...”, Jimmy began, “...happy Valentine’s Day and welcome to the show, Attorney Abdullah.” The audience continued their clapping and cheering.

“Thank you so much,Jimmy! Happy V-Day to you! Please call me K.D.. Can I just say that one, this is a dream come true to be on the show and two, I need to carry this audience in my pocket because they really--” they all screamed and you smiled as you glanced towards the audience once more, “--they really helped me overcome my nerves just now and this energy y’all are giving me is every damn thing to me.”

“Well, I’m happy that’s something that helped ease you. So let’s jump right on in: what made you want to become a lawyer?”

“You know, not a lot of people have asked me that question.”

Jimmy’s head bucked back in disbelief, “Really?”

“Yeah, so believe it or not, the OJ trial inspired me to go into law. I was about 5 years old and I see Johnnie Cochran, a Black man, and Marcia Clark, a woman, working the case. I guess I was trying to figure out why weren’t there any Black Women working this case. Even after the case, I didn’t meet a Black female lawyer until I was in college. Sometimes, you gotta be your own role model.” The audience applauded your answer.

“That’s something to really live by. Now fast-forward to this past July: what’s going through your mind before and after hearing your name called for the Sheimbloom?”

“Maaaaan, I was a complete wreck and a tad tipsy from the wine they put on the table. I had my umi and Winston’s hands in vise grips. For clarification, Winston Duke, y’know…”,you looked dead into camera 1, “...THICC DADDY M’Baku? Anyways, everything’s going in slow motion, so my reaction was about 10 seconds slower than what it should’ve been. Now, the Chairman didn’t actually announce my name per se.”

Jimmy and the audience laughed. “So...are you the 2018 Sheimbloom winner or not?”, he joked. “Jimmy, listen! Winston, along with some of his fellow Jabari actors, started barking like they did in the Warrior Falls scene? It wasn’t until Winston let go of my hand and literally took his scarf to bark did I realize I’d won.” The audience cheered as a picture of your raw reaction to winning appeared on the screen behind you. Your red eyes were bugged out, mouth ajar, both hands placed on your chest. That feeling of victory began tingling throughout your body all over again .

“How’s life after winning?”

“To be honest…I don’t really feel that much different. I worked that Monday after the ceremony and up until the middle of August because my partners essentially forced me on leave and sent me to L.A.”

“Why would they do that?” The audience laughed. You did too.

“Honey, I had been working like a madwoman from October up until they put me on leave.”

“Ah-a. So that leads me to the next question: what happened that night?” You smirked.

“Well, after giving my speech, I got whisked upstairs to take pictures with my award.” The screen behind you showed a picture of you holding your award up to your ear like a cell phone with one hand and showing off your rose gold slugs by pulling on your bottom lip with the other. You were squatting down and showing off your red sparkly pump.

“That’s one of the most epic pictures I’ve ever seen. What happened next?” The audience gassed you up with “Ow’s! and whistles..

“Wellllllllllllllll”, your toothy smile should have been the indication that it was about to go down, “I sneak away to the terrace for a breather because God knew I needed it. I’m out there and my Winston texts me asking me where I had gone, right? Long story short, he proposed. Afterwards, socialized for a little bit, and then Wins and I went to our favorite 24-hour diner like nothing even happened that night. So, that’s another reason I was out here in L.A.: he still lives here and we needed time to begin planning the wedding.” The audience went crazy with applause.

“So how’s the planning coming,”

“Uhh...it’s proving to be harder than we initially estimated. We don’t live together—he’s here in LA and I’m in DC. So with that being said, we can’t just meet at a central location at lunch and talk about flowers and what not. He’s big money now with his ever-filling schedule and I’m doing the damn thing too so we can’t just break. We try to reserve a weekend every month to devote our time and energy to planning. The few times we’ve actually come together, progress was def made.”

“One more question before the break: when’s the wedding date?”

You looked at him with your usual “Really, nigga?” face. “C’mon, Jimmy. I can’t just disclose something personal like that. We don’t want our special day to be a media circus. But the only thing I will say is that it’s in 2020.”, you teased.

“We’ll be back after the break.” The audience applauded until the director yelled “Cut!”

—————

“And we’re back! I’m here on this Valentine’s Day with the incomparable Khalida Abdullah, attorney and activist. Now earlier, you mentioned that your fiancé is none other than actor Winston Duke, who’s been on this show before.”, Jimmy explained. The ladies in the audience swooned.

“That’s correct! He’s currently doing press for his upcoming movie Us. Y’all should hit it up next month.”, you responded, trying to conceal the goofy smile forming.

“So one thing I failed to mention before the break was that you two are gracing the cover of Essence Magazine’s Black Love issue.”, Jimmy announced. The audience cheered. He propped the advance copy up that showed you and Winston posed together and serving faces.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, is it difficult being in a relationship with a man of growing international status?”

“Well, damn. I never even thought about that. Ummmm...no. If anything, our relationship is growing stronger. Life after Black Panther has, in a sense, caused us to strengthen our communication. I believe that our mutual communication is our greatest asset. We literally text each other our daily schedules and we have each other’s events and event reminders in other’s phones. We’re very transparent with one another.”

“So you don’t get jealous with other ladies throwing their panties at Winston?”

You shot Jimmy an unimpressed look. “Why get jealous when he’s in mine all the time?”, you said unphased, shrugging your shoulders, crossing your legs and drinking from your mug. The audience hooted and hollered.

"Welll, here's an Instagram picture of the two of you. Not quite like we just discussed but very cute. Does he get tired of the graduations and celebrations you drag him to? You taking his shine?"

A picture of you two came on the screen. It was the Instagram picture the two of you took at your graduation dinner this past spring. In your beautiful red off-shoulder African dress and doctoral cap and he in his khaki seersucker and unbuttoned white dress shirt, the two of you jokingly did the “prom pose” and he was kissing your neck. Your signature smile and red lip were on full display as you were mid-laugh. The audience awed as they felt the warmth and love you two shared in that moment.

“Nahhh...in his mind, he sees us as equally yoked. Whatever hustle I have, be it a speaking engagement, an award, or anything, he’s cheering me on 125%, and the same goes for me. So with anything in our lives, you’ll see one go all the way for the other. Metaphorically, no one has a bigger head between us.”

“But in the literal sense?”

“Oh, it’s definitely his ass.” Everyone including yourself burst out laughing. “Plus, it doesn’t hurt that we’re good arm candy for each other for events. I mean, look at us!”, you said enthusiastically as you pointed at the picture.

“Well, one more thing before we go: what’s on the agenda for Valentine’s Day?”, Jimmy inquired. You carefully thought about your answer. The thought of being away from your Teddy Bear on Valentine’s Day sucked ass.

“Well, unfortunately, he’s on his way to New York to tend to some business. Buuuut, in a perfect world, I’d be rushing to finish this interview and get ready to go out on a date or stay in, get into our pajamas, and watch Forensic Files all night long.”

“Well, once again, happy Valentine’s Day and congratulations on everything you’ve accomplished. Khalida Abdullah, everybody.”, Jimmy concluded. The audience stood up and cheered as you and Jimmy chatted it up until yhe break.

“Annnnd cut! Great job, Khalida!”, the producer yelled over the PA system.

“Not bad for your first interview.”, Jimmy complimented. You thanked him for the opportunity and were escorted backstage.

Jacqui was the first of your staff to welcome you backstage. “K.D. (you hated formalities with your staff), that was amazing! It’s crazy to think that you were terrified right before this and now look at you: mastered it like it was nothin’!”, she said as she hugged you deeply. You’d thanked her and you started walking back to your dressing room.

“I just wished that Wins could’ve been here, y’know?”, you whispered loud enough so Jacqui could hear. You opened the door and it hit something heavy, the door’s impact sounded as though the victim may have been a person. Your face scrunched in curiosity and your native New Orleans kicked in for this very moment. “Bitch, who the fuck?!”, you yelled. You stepped back to make sure you were going to the right dressing room. Yup, this is my dressing room. You slowly opened opened the door again.

Your confused expression remained on your face as you heard Ed Sheeran’s Perfect playing softly. The lights were dimmed just enough that you could see Winston standing in the middle of the room looking the fuck good as usual. You ran to him, tightly hugging his torso. He took in the sweet scent of your loc oil and perfume and kissed the top of your locs. He could feel your chubby cheeks complimenting your candy apple red smile.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Pumpkin.”, he whispered.

“You raggedy as fuck. Just want you to know that. I love you though. ”, you clapped back.

“I love you, too, but hoooooow?!”, Winston looked down into your teary light brown eyes. “New York, Winston? Really?”, you answered.

“Denver, Khalida? Really?, he shot back.

Silence. “Touché.”

Your staff recorded the entire exchange. Praise the ancestors for them. You looked over to the counter to see a large bouquet of your rose trifecta and Tropical Skittles, your personal favorite candy. Your favorite snack was sporting a burgundy suit with a tan turtleneck.

“Now, I was in a crunch trying to get here, but I figured you’d appreciate the Tropical Skittles over the originals, even though Skittles are your favorite regardless.”, he explained. You shook your head as you heard his explanation.

“God, I love you, Winston.” He kissed your fivehead before giving your lips the same attention.

“I love you even more, Pumpkin.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?”, you asked.

“Only twice in the past hour. ”, he teased. “Now come on—it’s half-past 4 and we need to get ready for the night ahead of us.”

“Welp, there goes that Forensic Files binge-a-thon I bragged about.”

Tag Listiana 🤷🏽‍♀️

@muse-of-mbaku @kumkaniudaku @eriknutinthispoosy-deactivated2 @whoramilaje @mbakusthrone @mbakuwife @crushed-pink-petals @hoopshoney @purple-apricots @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @jackburtonsays @randomwordprompts @bartierbakarimobisson @wakandan-flowerz @blackpantherreblogs @babygirlofwakanda @eerythingisshaka @washyourlinens @turn-thy-paige @doublesidedscoobysnacks @supersizemeplz @wakandas-vibranium @dramaqueenamby @oshasimone @destinio1 @sonofnjobu @teheeboo @sarahboseman @iamrheaspeaks @chaneajoyyy @lovelynervouschaos @cay-cah @coonflix @katasstrophey @mareethequeen @jozigrrl @great-neckpectations @jellybean531 @yofavcocoa @storibambino @maya-leche @blackgirloneshots @royallyprincesslilly @texasbama @certifiednatural @abeautifulmindexposed

[shiriemrfz]

Preparar!

“Preparar”, a term that I, as a kid who grew up in an environment with people talking using their mother-tongue - Hiligaynon, usually hear at home. It is a word that we, Filipinos, adopted from the Spanish language, which simply means “Be Prepared”. University of Santo Tomas was founded by Miguel de Benavides, a Spaniard sinologist who was the third archbishop of Manila. UST, is located in España, Blvd, Manila. And around España, we can find Dapitan St. Where we conducted our interview about the hazards, vulnerabilities and preparation that the barangay encounters and prepares for.

Along Dapitan St. lies the barangay hall of Barangay 471, Zone 46 District IV of Sampaloc, Manila. According to Kgd. Alfonso, the only barangay official to be found during that time, Barangay 471 is just one of the 192 barangays located in Sampaloc, Manila. The barangay officials sees to it that they are well educated and trained of handling disasters that might occur,for within the vicinity lies countless number of dormitories and condominiums

wherein students live because of its accessibility to schools, colleges and universities, which one of those is the University of Santo Tomas, University of Perpetual Help, and many others.

“KWENTUHAN”

As what was said by Kgd. Alfonso, the hazard which are most likely to happen in this area are earthquake and typhoon. Among the two, typhoon is considered to be the most expected catastrophe to leave a devastation in the community, because of the rapid increase in water level during rainy seasons that results to flood. What the barangay does to prepare for these events is the monitoring, controlling and evaluating the people and the factors that affect the situations. But nevertheless, they are not focusing on making preparation on a single disaster.  Just last February 2019, they conducted an emergency drill, namely for an earthquake phenomenon, within the community. This drill included the barangay officials, as this aims to make the constituents feel and know what to do during a certain event. 

It is most likely to be known that there is an upcoming disaster through the announcements made by either PAG-ASA or NDRRMC. The barangay also reinforced a guide to be followed during emergency situations. One of which is the implementation of an alarm by ringing a bell or a buzzer that will call out the attention of the community to have them act accordingly.

Manila is located near the west valley fault. If there will be a disturbance found in the fault line, around 35-40 thousand people who are staying in Manila are estimated to be the number of casualties. For the past years, we have already experienced tough situations during and after a phenomenon has occurred. It is really very hard for the people, especially the ones with businesses, to deal with losses because of the damage that the catastrophe brought. The location of the whole Manila is a low-lying area that makes it hard for the barangay to determine and provide an easy access for the people to evacuate on, during emergencies, most especially during typhoons. The only safe place during this disaster is your own home.  But in contrast with this, the number of hazardous places is innumerable since there are no proper drainage system to get rid of the rapid accumulation of water if so typhoon occurs, and no open are to immediately run to during an earthquake.

The lack of attention that the government is supposed to give them is one of the troubles that the community is experiencing. The government is lacking on giving them funds for them to put up better projects in preparation for these disasters. Another trouble that the community needs to give attention on is the traffic congestion that may build up due to the narrow spaces that the barangay has. Most of the streets are crowded because of the cars parked beside and on the road itself. If there will be medical rescuers coming, a lot of people will surely go awry. That will cause the delay of emergency medication and might cause traffic congestion because of too much crowd scuffling to get treatment. And if so ever that an aftershock causes a building to collapse, the vehicles parked along the road will be damaged, it will cause danger because of unlikely disaster that it might bring such as fire, broken glass, and others that could delay mode of evacuation.

“Community Walk”

Walking around the area I found out that there are a lot of tall buildings that are built within the radius of the barangay. This increases the potentiality of risks because of the decreasing rate of strength due to the fact that the streets are narrow and tight, that gives less spaces that each street could offer after everyone has gone out of their homes during evacuation. If ever an earthquake occurs, even if everyone had gone out safely from their homes, there is still a larger possibility that they could still be experiencing devastation. In the situation such as that if the buildings near them collapses, because of the tight narrow roads outdoors, people will still have a low rate of survival opportunities.

I also noticed that electric wires are lowly hanging just a few feet above a person. This is hazardous because it defies the safety of a by passer. Aside from this, electricity wires are also improperly clustered over the other. Waste is also improperly disposed.

“Reflection”

The hazards that are most expected to occur were identified as either typhoon or earthquake. There could be a high risk of casualties because of the imbalance of the number of population and their route to escape in an emergency case. The houses that are being resided by the common residents of the barangay are compressed and contiguous that lessens one’s ability to exit freely and quickly. 

“Preparar” is a Spanish term for “Prepare” or “Be Prepared”, and indeed no one could ever be safer than those who prepare. Despite the evident vulnerabilities in the community, preparations should not be disregarded. True enough, it is better safe than sorry.