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i-am-baechu · 3 years

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Title: Promise | ♞ | | ♚ | | ♛ |

Paring: Kim Namjoon x reader

Genre: College au, slice of life au, coming to age, angst, romance, smut and fluff

Summary: College is where you find yourself and what you love in this world. Namjoon has heard this since he was a freshman in high school. He’s already had his life planned but it’s not until a girl knocks him off of his path; literally.

Warnings: Drinking, an indication of physical violence and a sex scene ( First time writing smut lol)

Author’s note: Happy late birthday to our leader Namjoon!! This story was inspired by Evening Primrose by Novelbright and I Will Go To You Like The First Snow by Ailee. I would recommend listening to these songs to set the mood!

Dear Namjoon,

It’s been so long since I saw you and I don’t know how I’m going through it without you. Everything around seems so boring and that’s coming from me. I know you’ve been busy lately and I should send a text instead of a letter but I think letters are more heartfelt. There’s so many things I want to tell you, this new road I found for biking, this special cafe that serves the best muffins and this cool hotel that has cool art pieces in the lobby. It feels like I haven’t stopped traveling for a second but it's fun to see different things but I wish you were with me. Having you holding my hand as we look at the stars or even at the paintings at the art museum here. Anything to have you with me.

Until Next Time,

Y/N

Three years ago

“Another one hundred on your test, Mr. Kim. Good job.”

Namjoon smiled at the teacher as he took his legal communication test and gave him a bow. He walked out of the classroom to see people talking to each other and he let out a deep sigh. All his friends were either in the music department or the film department. It was lonesome being in the law department but at least he could catch up with his friends on the weekends or even during lunch. He put the test in his folder and headed out to the diner hall to see his group of friends.

He decided to leave his bike at home and walk instead, especially since he had a lot on his mind right now. Ever since last week when his parents dropped by for a visit, a normal person would be excited for their parents after being apart for so long but he wanted them to leave the moment they stepped in. He didn’t have a bad relationship and that was the main source of his guilt towards them. His mom always brought food and small things that he needed in his dorm while his dad brought him art books that he liked. Everything was perfect but him.

Everytime he sees his parents the same thoughts go through his mind about his major or what he's doing with his life. He wanted to make his parents proud and decided to become a lawyer like his father was. He was never pressured by them but the implication was there at times. He wanted to do music with his friends but thought his parents wouldn’t like the idea and decided to go forward with law.

He opened the door and walked into the loudness that should be annoying but it was somehow comforting to him. He went towards a small kiosk that was selling sandwiches and decided to go with the turkey. He looked around the cafeteria and spotted his friends and walked towards them with a smile.

“Jonnie!”

He waved his sandwich at them and sat next to Yoongi and Hoseok, “Hey, how was class today?”

“It was annoying, this girl kept raising her hand when class was over asking questions that could be easily answered by reading the book.”

“Yoongi, maybe she didn’t have the textbook.”

He rolled his eyes at Jimin and took a bite of his salad and shrugged his shoulders, “Not my problem.”

Jungkook turned towards Namjoon with his bunny eyes that melted him, “How was your class, Joon?”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked to see all eyes were on him now, “I got back my test from last week.”

“Oh, how did you do?”

“Taehyung, you should already know what his score is.”

“It doesn’t hurt to ask, Park Jimin.”

Namjoon scratched the back of his neck and gave them a nervous look, “I got a one hundred...”

“That's good Joon but you don’t sound happy about it.”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his sandwich with an unsure look, “I mean it's another test, nothing serious.”

Seokjin raised his eyebrow at him and went to ask him another question but he beat him to it, “How did your picture come out, Jungkook?”

The conversations through the night were carried by Jungkook and Jimin as the rest just listened to them. They were talking about a project they had and how they have to figure out they’re muse for this assignment but Namjoon wasn’t really listening. It was another test and he got a perfect score on it but he wasn’t happy nor upset about it, he was just melancholy. For three years straight he was on top of his class but it didn’t mean anything to him. His parents and sister were proud of him for everything he achieved but he didn’t feel the same. Even his friends tell him how good he was doing in his classes but nothing stayed in his head. The only person that brought it up was Seokjin but he would always change the subject.

Towards the end of the night, they all separated to head back to their dorms. Seokjin went with Namjoon because his dorm was near his and he wanted to talk to him about stuff. Seokjin looked at Namjoon with a concerned face but Namjoon ignored it, “I saw your look.”

“What look?”

“When we were talking about your test score, you changed the subject. Normally when a person gets a perfect score they show some type of happiness but you didn’t, why?”

He shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pocket as he continued to look forward, “It's just a test and there's always going to be another one.”

Jin raised his eyebrows at this and shook his head at this, “This isn’t the first time you reacted like that so, clearly something else is wrong.”

“I know your major is psychology and film but you're being annoying right now.”

Jin rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his shoulders causing Namjoon to grunt at the sudden impact, “I’m just worried about you that’s all.”

He let out a sigh and looked back at Jin, “I know. It’s just for me, they're questions that I know the answer to and that's it. Nothing more or nothing less.”

“Are you getting bored of it?”

“I wouldn’t say bored but...I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Hopefully something hits you so you can figure it out.”

“Y/NNNN!!! WERE GOING TO BE LATE AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“I’M PUTTING ON MY JACKET GET OFF MY BACK LYDIA!”

In the dorms of Y/N L/N and Lydia Miller, it was project day for the both of them. The history department was having a project about the royal family throughout Europe by having a powerpoint presentation and an essay to go with it. They had three months for this project and Y/N was already almost done with her powerpoint. She picked out England’s royals family while Lydia picked out Norway. Y/N was doing a European history degree and Lydia was doing an Art History degree. The two met in their first year of college when Y/N accidentally dropped Lydia's notebook in a World History class and ever since then they’ve been friends.

Y/N walked down the stairs and zipped up her jacket as she raised her eyebrow at Lydia, “Why did you call for me? Are we going somewhere?”

“Yes, because I tried cooking dinner and I failed.”

“How badly?”

“It was mac and cheese and for some reason it was brown on top but it was too liquidy? It was burnt but it wasn’t burnt.”

“How-I don’t want to know. Alright, let's go for dinner.”

They walked through the campus and waved towards their classmates whenever they saw them. It was cold on this sunday afternoon and the two were tired from their homework and as well as Y/N babysitting her little brother on weekends for her parents. They walked into the cafeteria to see that it was almost empty, which surprised them especially since it's the weekend. They walked up to an Italian kiosk and picked out chicken parmigiana to have. They went to sit at a table to wait for their food as Y/N eyes drifted behind Lydia making her turn around.

“Is loverboy over there?”

“Shut up...and yes he’s over there with his friends.”

“How can someone have so many friends? That’s crazy to think.”

“Sounds like jealousy to me.”

“No, it is. I just have you and Seulgi.”

She shook her head and saw him walk out with his friends and frowned. They were in two different departments and he probably didn’t remember her from high school but seeing him still gave her butterflies. Lydia took a sip of her sprite and stared at her friend's face, “You can always try to talk to him you know.”

“It’s been two years since high school. I doubt he remembers me. We only had two classes in senior year and he was always in the front while I was in the back.”

“You never know, maybe he remembers you.”

She shook her head at this and took a sip of her water, “He probably remembers the other girls because they were all over him. Always asking him for help on homework or asking to hang out during lunch.”

“I mean I get that, he is very handsome. Good choice, Y/N.”

She rolled her eyes and they both stood when they heard their names being yelled through the almost empty lunch room. When they had the plate of food in their hands, Lydia leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“What was his name again?”

“Kim Namjoon.”

The next day, Y/N woke up for her early for her Modern Europe class as Lydia had her day off. It was too early for anyone to function or even raise their hand for participation points. It was once again cold today and she didn’t know if she should change from her sweats or actually put on clothes this time for a change, she picked the second choice. She put on jeans for the first time in months and a pastel pink v-necked sweater. The look couldn't be complete without her hair in a messy bun and her glasses that were going down the bridge of her nose slowly.

She held onto her laptop and textbook as she made her way through the campus to get herself a quick coffee for the day. She headed to the class and saw that the professor was already in class. She looked inside to see if anyone was there and saw a few students sitting there with their laptops. She walked in and took the seat at the back of the class and turned on her laptop. She went on her youtube to watch random cooking videos and started to do an outline for her essay as she waited for the professor to get started. On the other side of the campus, Namjoon was running late for his class.

After last night, Namjoon entered his dorm and decided to have a couple of shots of soju but the couple of shots turned into five bottles. His outfit was his loose white shirt that showed off his collarbones and his light gray loose sweatpants. He didn’t have time to put on regular shoes so, he settled on his sandals and a hat to hide his messy hair from the lack of sleep (and hopefully hid his eyes). He walked through the empty campus with his coffee and the annoyance from last night. He hated how easy Jin could read him, it was annoying but at the same time it was nice to have someone see him in distress (even his parents had a hard time with that).

He walked into his classroom and saw that most of the seats were already filled including the seat he always sat in. He went towards the back avoiding looks from everyone who gave him a shocked look because of how he was dressed. He usually was dressed nicer with a pair of loose jeans or even skinny jeans but he was rarely in sweats in public or in his class to be more accurate. He sat there with his bucket hat shielding his face and he knew this day wasn’t going to be good for him.

“Mrs. L/N, can you come up for a second?”

She turned her head at her professor with her eyebrow raised but went towards his desk clenching her things harder in her hands, “Yes, professor?”

“Can you drop this off in the law department front office for me? Also, I think you should check out a class that talks about England's laws towards the monarchy, it's in room B256 on Mondays. It goes in depth for your powerpoint and essay, only if you want to. I would give you extra credit if I see it in the essay.”

“Thank you professor. I’ll look into it.”

She took the folder and bowed to him as he gave her a gentle smile. He turned towards his computer screen and that was the sign for her to leave. She put the folder under her laptop to make sure none of the papers would fly from the wind. She was unfamiliar with the department, the only thing she knew was that they made really good sandwiches in the cafe in the building. She opened the front door and walked into pure silence, Not really welcoming.

The department looked so sophisticated compared to her at this moment. There were paintings around the front and the ceiling was high with a window on top to show the light blue sky. She looked around the room to see people around with coffees in their hands and expensive bags. She knocked on the front office door and waited for an answer.

She opened the door and saw the front lady who gave her a small smile, “How can I help you?”

“I have a folder from Professor Lee. He's in the history department.”

“Ah, thank you so much sweetie.”

She took the folder and Y/N gave her a small smile with a bow. She walked out the building and looked back with curiosity but shook it off and made her way towards the cafeteria to meet Lydia for lunch.

Namjoon was finally done with his class and sat at the cafe to see Yoongi and Jin eating sandwiches waiting for him. He let a small smile appear and walked up to the table with an exhausted look.

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks hyung, that's what I wanted to hear.”

“I don’t lie.”

Namjoon let out a sigh and leaned down in his chair, “I don’t even remember what happened in that class.”

“That’s very unlike you.”

“I drank last night.”

Jin raised his eyebrow and took a sip of his water, “Why did you drink?”

“I just felt like it. It didn’t give an epiphany if you were wondering, hyung.”

“I hope something will.”

The weekend finally came and Y/N was off to visit her parents. Every weekend, she would go up to see her parents to watch her younger brother while her parents visited her grandmother who had been sick for years but had only recently gotten worse. She put her helmet on and got on her bike for the two hour ride. She tightened the straps from her backpack and was off.

The main reason why she picked that college was because it was close to her family home but deep down it wasn’t the one she wanted. The college that was her dream college was in England where her major would’ve made more sense to her. She wanted to go there but she heard her grandmother went against it. Every year though, she gets emails from the college telling her about the new school year or the new classes she can take. She never told her parents this because she knew they would have her go but she couldn’t leave them especially now.

She looked at the familiar stores and houses with a small smile but it never reached her eyes. She continued her way until she saw the familiar white house that was her childhood home. She took off her helmet and put her bike in the garage. She opened the door and felt arms around her waist causing her to let out a groan from the impact. She wrapped her arms around him, “Well hello to you, bud.”

“I miss you.”

“You saw me last week, Johnny.”

“I just miss you.”

She ruffled his hair and looked up to see her parents coming towards her with overnight bags. They gave her a happy smile but she knew deep down it’s not truly happy, “Y/N, I’m sorry that you have to come over every weekend.”

“Mom, it's alright. I’ll always be here for you guys no matter what.”

“We should be the ones saying that, princess.”

She shook her head and grabbed her fathers hand as she rubbed the tops of his hand gently with her thumb, “Were family, that's how it is.”

Namjoon sat in his family living room after being gone for two years he decided it was time to visit his family. Another reason was, he wanted to tell his parents about his feelings. He looked down at the opened book with a blank face as the words on the paper didn’t reach his head. He closed the book and got up from the couch in a rush as he walked back and forth in the living room. He doesn’t even know how the conversation will start nor does he know how it will end and that part scares him the most. The unknown part of life made him feel trapped in the life he chose for himself.

He grabbed his jacket from the couch and headed towards the front door, “Omma! Appa! I’m going to take a walk around the park!”

“Be safe Joon!!”

He walked outside and put his hands in his coat pocket as he made his way to the park that was familiar to him. He remembers the time he came here with the guys and they teased him for liking this girl in his class. He smiled at the memory and wished things were that easy today.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?”

He rolled his eyes at Hoseok and pushed his arm off of his shoulders as they walked towards the park, “She doesn’t talk to anyone in that class. I doubt she wants to talk to me.”

“You don’t know that, you haven’t even tried.”

They sat in the swings as Namjoon looked down at his shoes, “She sits in the back for a reason. I shouldn’t barge into her life like that.”

“Girls love that. A person barging into their lives making them feel happy.”

“I doubt she wants that...”

He stared at the swings with a sad smile and sat on them. He slowly went back and forth as his thoughts were doing the same thing. He loved his parents with all his heart but at this moment he doesn’t know if love can save him. He looked up and saw a group of young kids playing on the playground and he let a smile escape when heard the laughter from them.

He started to feel the cold breeze from the moon and he realized how long he was out. He left his phone back at his parents because he was in a rush to get out of the house and he knew he's going to hear an earful from them. He got up and zipped up his light grey jacket and headed out of the park. He walked as slow as possible, not wanting to get home any time soon. He ignored the sound around him and continued to walk until he was pushed to the ground.

He let out a loud grunt as his eyes were closed from the sudden pain. He slowly opened his eyes and they slowly widened when he saw who it was, “Y/N?”

“Namjoon, Oh my god- I am so sorry. I was running to pick up some pasta for dinner. I am so sorry, are you okay? Why would you be okay, I literally knocked you-”

He let out a small chuckle as he slowly got up to put his hands on shoulders, “Y/N, It’s alright.”

“You know my name?”

“Why would I ever forget your name?”

“Oh, that was rude to assume you forgot my name. I’m not saying your meaning and you wanted to forget it. It's just been two years since high school, so I just assumed you forgot my name.”

“You remember my name. I can ask the same question to you about remembering my name.”

He watched her face turn red as she looked away to push her glasses up, “I mean yeah...Oh, let me help you get up.”

She got up and put her hand out as she looked at him with her innocent eyes that he remembered from high school. He let a smile escape but it was a real smile this time. He accepted her hand and got up slowly as he looked down at her only now realizing how short she was. She looked up at him and they stared at each other until she realized why she was running in the first place.

“I have to go, I’m sorry. My younger brother is alone and I have to go back as fast as I can.”

“Oh, no. I understand but maybe we can meet up here tomorrow to catch up? You can bring your brother, wait how old is he?”

“Yeah-yeah I would love that. I mean I would like that a lot. My brother’s nine, he likes to play on the playground with my dad. I think it will be good for him to come out and get fresh air. Actually, I need fresh air from doing my work.”

He looked down and realized he was still holding her hand and let go to scratch the back of his neck, “I’ll see you tomorrow then...”

“Bye...”

He watched her leave and stared at her back until she was out of his sight. He let the widest grin he's had in months and clenched his chest, Y/N... He turned around and walked back to the filmlair path to go back to his house when another memory came to mind.

“She got another hundred on her test.”

“Namjoon, the more you talk about her the more I get annoyed by the lack of effort on your part.”

“Hyung, you don’t understand. She’s everything I want-”

“Then talk to her.”

“Y/N, wouldn’t want to talk to me. Plus we only have two classes and we're seniors, there isn’t enough time for anything to happen.”

“Time is in your head but what I do know is that if it happens then it happens. Regardless of time.”

Yoongi was always good with words but during that time, he never understood what he was trying to tell him. Maybe it was time for him to try to do everything he wanted with her that he was too scared to do in high school. He stopped in his tracks and pinched his arm because everything happened so fast. It’s amazing how things get written out for him and he doesn’t even know how it happens at times but he doesn’t want to argue with the universe and take it the way it is. He opened the door to his house and walked in with a huge grin as he saw his parents on the couch, “Do you guys remember Y/N?”

Y/N opened her eyes and stared at her ceiling with a blank expression. She couldn’t believe that she ran into Namjoon and fell on top of him. She grabbed a random cushion on her bed and brought it to her face to let out a loud groan. I’m so embarrassed it hurts. She removed the cushion when she heard a knock at her door, “Come in!!”

“Y/NNNN!! I’m bored!”

She got up slowly and looked at her brother with a frown, “What do you feel like doing today?”

“That's what I wanted to ask...My friends asked me to hang out by the playground today on Friday and I forgot to ask mom.”

“Did you really forget or did you wait until I came because you knew I would say yes?”

“Yes...”

“I asked two questions. You know what, never mind that. Yes, we can go to the park today.”

“Really!! Thank-”

“First, you need to help me make lunch to bring to the park then.”

He nodded his head and left her room as she let a smile appear but then a panicked look came across her face. Namjoon never told me the time he wanted to meet me. Maybe he wasn’t being serious about hanging out today. Yeah, I’m going to lean towards that one.

She got out of her bed and brushed her hair as quickly as she could so she could feed her brother breakfast. She put her hair in a messy bun and headed downstairs to see her brother taking out his cereal by himself.

“You got it, Johnny?”

“I can do it myself!”

She smiled at this and went to make her own breakfast for the day. She made herself a peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jelly and a glass of honey tea. She pulled out the chair for her brother as he sat down eating his food with a smile. She ruffled his hair and went back to eat her food with a nervous look. Namjoon looked so happy seeing me or maybe that's what I wanted to see. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, I guess.

She went back to her room to change for the park day and decided to leave her laptop at home to finally feel relaxed for once. She changed into a purple striped sweater and black leggings with her white sneakers. She headed downstairs with her shoes in hand and saw that her brother was already waiting outside for her. She smiled at the excitement and hurried to put her shoes on and grabbed her purse. They walked down towards the park and she looked at a store that brought back a sad memory for her.

She was sitting in the store hiding from the girls in her classroom. They found out who she liked and now she was mortified to show her face in public again. The group of girls went through her backpack when she went for a drink and found her journal. She knew she was stupid because why would she bring something to school that was that special to her?

The store owner looked at her with a sad look and looked at the front of the store for the group of girls. He walked towards her as he saw the girl on the floor crying from the interaction. He went down to her level and gently removed her arms to see her face. She had a small bruise forming on her cheek and a small cut forming under her eye.

“Come on, let's patch you up.”

She shook her head at this thought and continued to walk with her little brother who was well ahead of her. She watched her little brother go straight to the playground as she went towards the swing with her headphones in. She was looking around hoping to see Namjoon but after an hour passed, she realized he wasn’t coming. She shouldn’t feel so hurt about this but the look on his face from yesterday gave her the false hope that maybe he would come. Maybe this is a sign from the universe to finally move on from him...after three years of being in love with someone...and never getting noticed by him, maybe it's time to say goodbye.

She snapped out of it when she heard her name being called. She looked up to see the dimple tall man that she fell in love with. Her eyes widened and she got out of the swing slowly, “You came?”

“Sorry about that, my mom wanted to make me lunch and then my aunt came over. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, Y/N.”

She shook her head as she blinked rapidly, “No, I’m just...I’m shocked you came.”

“I was the one that asked you to come, it would be rude of me if I didn’t show up.”

“It would be rude...I’m glad you're here.”

He sat in the swing next to her as he watched the kids play, “You remember when you were that young?”

“I do but at the same time I don’t. I feel like their memories that my parents had of me when I was young and none are mine if I’m being honest.”

“That’s fair. The only thing I remember was getting hurt a lot at that age.”

She let out a laugh and looked at him as he looked at her closely and the smile she had, “That’s oddly specific to remember isn’t it?”

“It made my parents and sister laugh so, I guess that's why I remember it.”

“Does it make you laugh?”

“Sometimes.”

The two sat in silence as she avoided his gaze and bit her lip. She let out a deep breath, causing him to look at her curiously, “Why did you want to meet up with me?”

“Because we went to the same high school.”

“We go to the same college, if you wanted to catch up with me you could’ve seeked me out.”

“Wait, we go to the same college? I’m usually in the law department or the film one. If I knew you were there, I would’ve done this a long time ago.”

“You're in the law department? That's surprising.”

He stopped swinging and turned towards her completely, “Why is that?”

“Because you loved writing lyrics in high school...I remember in our American Literature class you were the first one to finish the poem assignment and then you read it to the class. You were so good at writing them that hearing you become a lawyer is a shock.”

He nodded his head and looked down at his feet for a second but looked back at her, “Things happen you know. What’s your major?”

“Oh, I’m doing history.”

“See that makes sense for you.”

“Why?”

“You always got perfect scores in history class, I was jealous of it.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah... I always remember you Y/N. Please don’t think otherwise.”

Hearing him say this caused her heart to beat even faster, if that was possible.

“You talked to Y/N? Like the Y/N from high school?”

Namjoon nodded his head in a shy manner towards Yoongi who was shocked at what he just said, “It only took you two years.”

“Do you really have to bring that up?”

“Yes, because I was the one that had to suffer.”

Jimin rolled his eyes and kicked Yoongi shin under the table as he turned towards Namjoon with a smile, “So, what happened?”

“I walked her home and I asked her to meet me for lunch on Thursday because it was less busy.”

“Ah, smart. No wonder you're at the top of your classes.”

“That’s not how it works, Jungkook but I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, Taehyung.”

Y/N looked at her friend whose eyes were wide at what she just said, “The person who you had a crush on for three years asked you for lunch because you knocked into him.”

“Yes... I already said it three times.”

“You lucky bitch, your living in a stupid teen romance novel while I’m here waiting for something, anything at this point.”

“Shut up, I was shocked he asked him out but we’ll see how well it goes.”

Dear Namjoon,

I guess it’s selfish of me to ask for your attention especially since what happened between us. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought of you or worn your sweater that you sneakily gave me. I know we text often but I hope my letters give you the intimacy that you deserve. I wish I can give you all the physical touches but this letter is my physical touch to you. I love you forever and ever.

Until Next Time,

Y/N

Two years ago

“You know it's pretty disgusting.”

Y/N titled her head at Lydia as she put up the rest of the plates, “What is?”

“How much he loves you. It's annoying to watch on the sidelines.”

“That’s not nice and who?”

Lydia gave her look of are-you-kidding-me with her eyebrow raised, “Loverboy.”

“Don’t call him that and he hasn't said he loved me.”

She closed the cabinet as she turned towards her friend with an annoyed look but Lydia saw the red cheeks. She jumped off of the countertop and walked into the living room, “Even though he hasn’t said it, his actions show it.”

Y/N sat on the couch as she pulled down her sweater over her hands, “What do you mean?”

“He buys you lunch, he waits for you when your class is over, he walks you to your classes even the early ones, he holds your laptop and he checks you out everytime.”

She rolled her eyes and checked her buzzing phone. The nervous smile dropped and a frown replaced it. It was another email from the school in England. After last year's history project went well, her professor sent a letter of recognition to the school for her masters. She didn’t tell any of her friends or even Namjoon about it because she knew they would want her to pursue it. Her heart tells her to tell them but her brain tells her not to risk it in case they get mad at her for hiding this secret.

Lydia raised her eyebrow at the sudden mood change, “What happened?”

“Another news update from the world. Never happy...”

That night she was restless and she remembered what Namjoon told her last week making her feel even more guilty about her decision.

“Thank you for supporting me. I appreciate it.”

“I’ll always support you, no matter what.”

She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Namjoon, Are you up?

Yeah, why are you up?

The weather is keeping me up.

Want to go to the park?

That sounds fun : )

Namjoon and Y/N sat together at a bench as the two stared at the night sky with a smile. She leaned her against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around hers. The two have been dating for a year next Friday. In the span of the year, Y/N hasn’t felt happier. Her grandmother was feeling better, her history professor was impressed with her work and she was with someone who she had wanted since she was a teen but deep down something was wrong. Ever since her professor recommended her to the college of her dreams, she decided to deny it because of how well everything was going for her.

She cuddled further into his neck as he rubbed her shoulders, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just like spending time with you.”

“I would hope so, unless this would be awkward to do.”

She looked up at him with a confused face but was met with his lips instead. She let a smile escape as she kissed back. The kiss wasn’t passionate but it wasn’t just a peck either. It was the type of kiss that took your breath away everytime you shared it. They both pulled away as they stared at each other with pure happiness seeping through their eyes.

“Y/N, next week I was thinking we could go to Starlight.”

“Starlight? That’s expensive.”

“I know but It’s for a celebration of our time together, so it's worth it.”

“That was cheesy but I love it.”

She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose as he kissed her forehead. Everything was going perfect for her but something was missing and she couldn’t figure it out. They both stood up from the bench and held hands as he walked her towards her dorm. She swung their arms back and forth as they walked, making him let out a chuckle. When they reached the door he leaned down and kissed her lips gently making her heart flutter. She waved goodbye as she felt his eyes on her back as she entered her dorm. She clenched her chest as she couldn’t stop smiling but at the same time she felt guilty for hiding something from him but she knew what she was doing was right.

The next morning, Y/N woke up late the next morning after arriving home late. Lucky for her, she didn’t have any classes today but she had a meeting with professor Lee. He wanted to discuss her history project from last year and among other things. She was nervous to hear what he had to say but thought to herself what's the worst that can happen.

She changed into her tan sweater and leggings with her hair up in a messy bun. She left a note for Lydia to let her know where she was and was off. She walked across the campus trying her best to avoid the other students.

She knocked on the door of her professor and when she heard the okay she opened the door. She looked around the room with wide eyes as she saw the history departments dean and all the professors there waiting for her.

Show bowed slowly to them and when she came back up gave them a small smile, “Good morning...”

“Mrs. L/N, please have a seat.”

She took the only seat that was towards the door and stared at them with a confused look, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, professor Lee told us that you got accepted to the University of Cambridge but you haven’t confirmed anything, is that correct?”

“Ummm...Yes sir.”

“This college would do wonders for your job career and not only that, it will elevate you as a person. We just wanted to make sure you're making the right decision.”

“I-I still haven't made one.”

“You have until the end of this month but please really think about it. You're the top student and we see the passion you have for history. We just want you to make the right decision for yourself or talk to us if you're going through something. Have a nice day, Mrs. L/N.”

“Does this dress look weird? Be honest.”

“Do you want me to just call you ugly? I’ve called you pretty.”

Y/N flattened out her skirt and did another twirl in the mirror. The dress covered a small portion of her shoulders and flowed down into a fancy keyhole neckline. It was a snugged fit which highlighted her breasts but it left one to imagine. Her arms have been covered completely as the sleeves came down to a very loose fit at the bottom as it touched her skirt. The dress itself showed off her shape but the skirt made it obvious without heels she would trip. To top everything off, she had on a simple diamond heart necklace that her father gifted her and diamond hoops that Namjoon gave her for her past birthday. The color lilac went well with her skin tone and curled hair but she couldn’t help something was missing.

“It feels like something is missing.”

“Yeah, it's called confidence, go get it.”

She rolled her eyes at Lydia and realized what it was missing. She went through her jewelry box and picked out a simple bracelet that Namjoon actually made for her on a date, “There now it's complete.”

“If you don’t get laid then I have no choice in this world.”

“Shut up.”

She heard the doorbell and ring and looked at Lydia, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I better see a hickey!!”

“Shut up!!!”

She opened the door and saw Namjoon in a simple black tux holding purple roses. She looked up at him and saw the shy glance making her feel shy as well. She leaned forward and kissed his check gently and took the roses out of his hands, “I love them, Joonie. Bonus points on getting flowers that I'm not allergic to, this time.”

“You will never let that go.”

“My doctor won't so, take that as you will.”

She took her purse off of the nail as she set the flowers on the table near the door. She took Namjoon's hand and the couple was off into the night. She held his hand as she leaned against his long arm and he kept looking down at her making sure his elbow wasn’t hitting her. The two entered the restaurant and the ceiling was everything the reviews said they would be. It was glass but there was an inner layer where it slowly turned to make you feel like the stars were shining under you as you ate.

They walked towards their table which was near the middle of the room. He pushed the chair out for her and she smiled at him. She sat down and stared at him with pure admiration and he returned it. They both ordered simple pasta so they can have room for dessert to celebrate their anniversary.

Namjoon grabbed her hand across the table and creased hers with his thumb, “I have something to tell you.”

“This can either go good or bad.”

“It’s good, I just wanted to tell you tonight how much I appreciate you and how in love I am with you.”

Her mouth fell open when she heard the last words with her eyes wide, “You love me?”

“I’ve loved you since high school, Y/N. I never told you this before because I was embarrassed to say that I was in love with you before we met and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“I’ve been in love with you since high school too.”

The both of them stared at each other before Namjoon letting out a deep laugh, “God, I’m so stupid. Should’ve taken my chance with you when I had it.”

“Well now we have each other. We can make up for lost time.”

He gave her a small smirk and leaned forward, “You want to make up lost time?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in love with you for so long that I want to make up for everything we missed.”

“Everything?”

“Of course.”

He gave her a mischievous look, “Just wait till tonight then.”

Her face turned red and shook her head at him. The waiter brought out a cake and the chocolate syrup on the plate said “Happy anniversary.” She gave him a smile as she took a small piece of cake and fed it to him. The two eat the cake in peace as Namjoon looks at her with pure happiness. This past year was everything he wanted it to be and more except for his school life.

When they were done, he ordered a taxi and she raised her eyebrow at this. She gave him a confused look, “The dorms are over there-”

“What I’m going to do to you doesn’t need an audience.”

The car ride there was filled with silence as she didn’t know what to say to him. She was flustered at the implication and now her whole body feels like it's on fire as he creased the tops of her thigh slowly. She stared outside her window as she felt his stare but she knew if she looked at him she would melt right there. When the car stopped, he gently took her hand and took her to be in front of a fancy hotel. Before she could say anything, he opened the front door and entered it.

She waited for him to check in as she wasn’t sure what to do and she looked around the lobby to see nice flowers in pots and random paintings that brought the room together. He showed her the room key and took her hand to the elevator. As they stood in a small space, she tilted her head at him, “Sooo....what's happening?”

“I have something to show you.”

“Can I have a hint?”

“Nope.”

She frowned at this but shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed his hand and leaned against her arm with a smile. He looked down at her and smiled as he kissed the top of her head. The elevator stopped and he took her hand as he led her into the top suite of the hotel. Her eyes widened at the sight before her. The room was filled with candles and purple rose petals on the floor.

“Namjoon...I-”

“Do you like it?”

“Like it? If I said I liked it I might as well slap you. I love it.”

He let out a small chuckle and brought her towards a table that had champagne and strawberries (her favorite.) She took a strawberry and brought it up to his mouth as he happily accepted the small fruit. She took a sip of her champagne as she smiled at him, “Your not going to eat the strawberries?”

“I fed you...”

“Oh, I see you want me to feed you. If you wanted that you should’ve just said that.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

He ignored her and brought up a strawberry to her mouth as she parted her lips to eat the berry. She felt some of the juices go down her chin as she felt his stare on the juices. She went to wipe the juices with a napkin, he was quicker and leaned in to wipe the juices up with his finger. He gave her smirk, “Open your mouth, baby.”

She looked down at his finger and realized what he wanted. Her face turned redder but she ignored her nerves and gently leaned forward taking the finger into her mouth. She looked up at him with big innocent eyes and she sucked off the juice. He let out a heavy breath as he watched her and something about her innocent eyes made him go crazy on the inside.

She released the finger and looked away from his stare for a second, “Fuck...”

She looked back at him to see his eyes clouded with a look she's seen once in a while but never questioned it until now, “Is everything okay...”

“Y/N, I love you. You're the only woman I ever wanted to be with and I’ve been in love with you for years. You're the only one I can see in my future and I know we’ve only been together for a year now but...What I’m trying to say is- Will you marry me?”

Her eyes widened as she watched him get down on his knee with a beautiful ring that looked like a diamond encrusted flower. She looked back at his face to see the nervousness on his face, “Of course I will marry you.”

She leaned down and brought his face into chest as she gently ran her fingers through his as he hugged her tightly. When she was released from the hug she looked at him with small tears in her eyes, “You have to tell your parents about your dreams with music.”

“I knew you would say that, so I asked to meet with my parents this weekend.”

He put the ring on her finger as she smiled at him doing it. He grabbed her hand and they stood up from the floor. He leaned down to kiss her as he desperately nipped at hers while her hands went on his chest in a shy manner but she felt his muscles. His body responded by bringing her in closer as her dress hiked up on her thighs as his knee parted her legs until his lower body was pressed against hers. His tongue pushed forwards into her mouth making a shy moan come from her mouth. She felt his hips grind against her lower part and released herself from the kiss to put her head on his chest from the sudden movement. She felt him getting hard already and Namjoon let out a deep breath, “God, Y/N...”

He pressed his forehead against the top of her head as Y/N listened to his heartbeat thumping loudly in his chest. She slowly looked up at him and gave him a gentle smile, “I think we should move this to the bed...”

“I was thinking the same thing, love.”

He lunged forward, attacking her lips with a hungry kiss that took her breath away. He picked her up and she felt his hands rub the back of her thighs as she continued to kiss him. It wasn’t until she felt the softness of the bed making her eyes wide when she felt his hand under her dress.

“Joon-” She tried to ask him what he was doing but was met with an answer instead. His hand slipped into her underwear and he gently pushed two fingers inside her without warning. “Joon...” she moaned out his name throwing her body against the bed at the sudden feeling. His long fingers were inside her and she felt the best she had felt in a while, and she couldn’t stop the sounds.

“I love how you say my name, baby.” He praised her with a smirk, thrusting his fingers in and out at a steady rhythm as his thumb found its way to her clit. She gasped at the feeling and clutched her chest tightly with her eyes closed.

“I feel bad for others because they will never get to see or feel this pussy, tell me Y/N, would you like that?”

“Y-yes...”, she stuttered out, feeling too overwhelmed from Namjoon’s actions. He knew exactly what he was going to do and it made Y/N jealous at his confidence but she couldn’t get enough of it.

“Good,” He cooed and kissed the inside of thigh and as he gave her thigh a small squeeze causing her to groan at the sudden touch, “Now come for me.” He increased the speed and intensity of his movements until it was too much. Her vision went dark and her walls clenched around his fingers that didn’t stop moving.

He went forward on the bed, gently removed his fingers from her and pressed a small kiss to her temple and held her in his arms as she tried to regain her composure. He wiped his fingers off on the side of his pants before he tangled his hand into her hair to give her a deep kiss.

“Wow...” She rested her head against chest as felt her body relax. Namjoon smiled at this and kissed the top of her head.

“We’re just getting started.” He let out a chuckle and smoothed down her hair. “Let’s take this off shall we.”

“You have to take off your stuff too, it's not fair.”

“I’ll do anything for you.”

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow as he saw she wasn’t wearing a bra and only underwear, “Did you want something to happen?”

“No-no...The dress looks weird with a bra so here I am...”

He gently pushed her down and he cupped her breasts making her back arched. She let out a deep sigh when he sucked down on one of her hardened nipples, then switched to the other. “You are so perfect, Y/N.”

She looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair, “Joon, you're perfect.”

He loved her so much and he couldn’t believe that the universe gave him another chance with her. It’s always been her and now it will forever be her no matter what. The man who was content on settling was now seeing how wronged he was. He released her nippled and moved to her lips and slowly kissed her. She smiled into his kiss as she wrapped her hand around his neck to deepen the kiss. He leaned away and took one of her hands to put on his hardened member inside his boxers.

Her hands were shaking but she ignored it as she played with him shyly. “God, that feels good.”

He went towards her underwear and looked at her before he took it off. She nodded her head and he gently removed the underwear and she did the same for him. He was on top of her body and kissed her forehead before putting himself in.

“Fuck, you feel amazing, love.” He murmured in a lust fueled voice as his lips were against her ear making her shiver at how deep his voice was. “Are you okay?”

“It feels... so good.” She whimpered out as he saw the innocent look in her eyes as she said that.

“Fuck I love how you look at me like that, Y/N.”

“I’m just- Joon!”

He thrusted forward and she felt everything. She felt tears in the corner of her eyes at the overwhelming feeling. She watched his face the best she could as she felt him move in and out of her. She moved her hands onto his cheek and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss as he continued his movements.

“Joon...I’m...”

“It’s okay, love. You can let go.”

He encouraged her and kissed her neck softly as his hand fumbled between their bodies and started to rub her clit gently. It only took a few strokes against the bundle of nerves and the forceful thrusts to send her into a shaking mess. “I love you so much, Y/N. So tight for me.”

Her body was exhausted but his words gave her some energy as she started to lightly grind her hips with his thrusts, “Joon...You can come inside. I’m on the pill.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement and was too close to his own climax to speak. Moments later she felt his sputter and his dick twitching inside of her as she felt the warmth. He leaned forward and kissed her one last time and he removed himself. She let out a small sigh as she felt him remove himself and she smiled at him gently as he grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe off the mess.

Once he was done he tossed the towel on the floor and grabbed her hand gently, “Should you go to the bathroom?”

“Let me gain my breath first, love.”

He grabbed his dress shirt from the floor and handed it to her. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed to the bathroom as he watched his future wife with love in his eyes.

After the night everything changed for Y/N and Namjoon’s lives. All their friends know about the engagement and she smacked Lydia for pointing out her hickey to everyone. Namjoon’s friends held a small party to celebrate the future and she learned a lot from them. Yoongi told her that everyday he would talk about her to them and how she would never like him. She thought it was funny that the man who was so confident with her at all times that the truth of everything was opposite. He was annoyed but she thought it was cute. After the proposal, she realized that she should let go of her dream for college when all she wanted was here but deep down she knew it was easier to say than do.

It's been a week since getting engaged and Namjoon was feeling all the confidence in the world. He just finished talking to his parents about his major and even though they were shocked they wanted him to be happy.

After a few minutes of silence, Namjoon looked up from his socks to his parents staring at him with no emotion.

“Omma, appa...”

“Namjoon, I figured.”

He looked up at his father with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

His father let out a deep chuckle, “I know what my kids like. Contrary to popular belief, I pay attention.”

“Joon, we just want you to be happy.”

“I guess we wish you could’ve told us sooner.”

He shook his head at the sad look on his mothers face, “It wasn’t because of you guys. It was me, I wanted to make you proud and I guess my insecurities towards my talent with music got in the way and I blamed you guys for it.”

“Do what makes you happy son.”

His parents were excited to hear that Y/N accepted it and her parents showed up to congulated him. Her father gave him a hug and was happy that he loved his daughter with all his heart and was excited to get a son-in-law. He leaned his head against the window of the bus and couldn’t help but smile and he was sure the people around him were creeped out. When the bus stopped he got off and headed towards the history department to pick up Y/N.

As he saw the classroom come into view, he was shocked to see it empty. He took his phone out to make sure he didn’t miss out on a text from her but saw nothing. He was confused and walked out of the classroom to look around the lobby. He saw nothing and walked towards the front office to see if she was in there. He heard her voice and went to open the door but stopped when he heard the conversation.

“Yes-yes, I’m sure, professor.”

“Alright, I’ll tell the head director your decision. Make sure you email Cambridge that you declined them.”

“Thank you professor.”

“Good luck and your future Mrs. L/N.”

His eyes widened at this and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. This whole time she was helping him figure out his dreams that he never asked about her dreams. He looked down at his shoes and shook his head with disappointment. He walked out the lobby and texted Y/N that he was grabbing lunch with Jin and would be late on seeing her. He dialed his number and let out a deep sigh out, “I need help.”

He waited in the park when heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked up to see Jin with a worried look, “Is everything alright? You hung up so fast I couldn’t ask you.”

“How would you react if the person you love has been helping you figure out your dreams and declined theirs in order to help you.”

“Dude, what are you talking-”

“Y/N, declined going to Cambridge.”

Jin’s wided at this and sat next to him, “How do you know this?”

“I overheard a conversation with her professor when I went looking for her...I’m a horrible boyfriend.”

“No you're not. It's hard to fix something when you weren’t aware of it in the first place.”

“But I didn’t ask either.”

“That’s true but what are you going to do? She already made the decision to stay with you, you can’t change her mind.”

Namjoon leaned forward and shook his head, “She told me to tell my parents about my music dreams when I asked her to marry me.”

“I’m going to tell you something...Sometimes you have to let people go in order for them to grow or find something they’ve been looking for. If they come back then that's wonderful for you and if they don’t then that's when you know the truth. I like Y/N, I really do but you can’t have her settle for one thing when she wants another thing.”

“I have a plan...”

Y/N was dressed in fancier clothes as today Namjoon told her that they were going to have a party with their parents. She was excited to see them and even more excited to show off her ring. She decided to wait till monday to send an email regarding her decision but she knew it would be for the best. The dress was just a simple white sweater dress that she topped with a trench coat for the weather. She quickly put her hair in a ponytail when she heard the doorbell and knew it was Namjoon.

She opened the door and saw his smile making her feel shy, “Hi, love.”

“You got everything?”

“Yeah, I’m excited to see your parents. It's been awhile.”

“It’s only been a week. Don’t be so dramatic.”

They got in the taxi as she kept looking at him trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He had this look in his eyes and she couldn’t figure it out. She leaned her head against her shoulder as he slowly turned his head to kiss her head. She snuggled her head closer to his shoulder as he stared at her.

When the car stopped she looked outside with a confused look, “Why are we at the train station? Are we meeting them somewhere?”

“Y/N... Let's get out of the car first.”

She nodded her head in confusion but took his hand to be out. She watched the taxi and she saw Namjoon giving her a frown, “You have a ticket at 4:30 and it's going to take you right to the airport where your parents will be waiting for you.”

“Why would they be there?”

“Because you're going to Cambridge and you're enrolled for the fall semester.”

Her face dropped and shook her head at him, “What are you talking about, Joon?”

“Y/N, I want to marry you so bad but the thought of you being stuck here because of me makes me sick.”

“Joon...”

He took her hands as he pushed some hair behind her ear, “Namjoon, I’m not going. I don't know how you found out but I’m-”

“You're going to be the historian I know you are but without me.”

She started shaking her head rapidly and looked away, “I’m not leaving without you. You are my dream, Joon.”

He shook his head and looked away from her face when he saw the small tears in her eyes threatening to escape, “You have to experience your dream before we can share the same dream, Y/N.”

“No, I’m not going.”

“Do you want to marry me? One-hundred percent?”

“Yes, I have loved you since I was in high school and I love you so much that I would give up everything.”

“That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m giving you up so you can experience your dream without me. I love you so much that I’m letting you go.”

She shook her head as she let go of his hand and covered her mouth to let out a small sob, “You can’t do this.”

“You don’t think I cried about this. I can’t let you waste your life because of me, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror.”

“I want to be with you, please. Please don’t leave me.”

He looked away to avoid the tears that were now steaming down her face as he tried stopping his own, “Please Y/N, go do what I know you do best at. This is who you are, not just my girlfriend. You are the brilliant historian that is the tops of her class and gets the high grades because she's passionate about it. That is who you are.”

“I can be your wife too...”

He brought her into his chest as he felt her sob but he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. He kissed the top of her head as he heard her say I don’t want to go. When he let go, he looked her in the eye and felt a small tear come down his face, “Promise me, you will become the historian that I know you are.”

“I promise...”

He took her hand and led her towards the train station as she let out loud sobs that hurt his heart. She saw all her friends waiting for her as she let out a louder sob. She hugged all of the guys and saw Namjoon’s parents looking at her with a smile.

“I’m so sorry-”

“Namjoon loves you so much that he’s willing to do this. Please no sorrys.”

She gave them a fake smile and moved on to Lydia who hugged her the tightest. Lydia was crying into her shoulder as Y/N was doing the same to her. When they backed away, Lydia pushed some hair back and kissed her forehead gently, “I’ll miss you and being your mom.”

“Don’t say that...”

When she saw Namjoon by the door waiting for her, she ran up to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. He held her as close as he could but nothing was making this easier for the both of them. She leaned forward to kiss him as passionately she could and she couldn’t care if people were watching them. When they both pulled away he held on to her hand before she let go to enter the train.

She sat down near the window and she looked outside to see all of her friends looking at her with big smiles but she couldn’t return it. She looked at Namjoon as she waved at her softly and she put her hand on the window as he waved. When the train started to move she looked forward to the sudden jerk. She looked back at him and saw him running with the train itself. She covered her mouth as her tears became harder and when he stopped running, she tried her best to look back at him but she couldn’t see him any more. She leaned against her chair as she took at her phone to text Namjoon,

“Promise me that you will become the best producer out there and you achieve everything you want. Promise me when you see the clouds you find comfort from them. Promise me when you close your eyes you see me, and finally promise me that no matter what you feel my touch even if I’m not there. I love you so much, please don’t forget me…”

Extended ending:

Y/N looked around the station and her eyes landed on a tall figure with a smile. She ran towards the figure as he opened his arms to her. She ran into his arms and felt his warmth again, something she missed after all these years. She looked up and saw the dimple smile she missed so much.

“Are we getting married now?”

“Y/N, you just got back.”

“I’ve been away from you for too long, I want to be your wife now.”

“If that’s what you want then I can’t say no because I feel the same way.”

They both leaned forward and kissed each other as she felt the warmth enter her body that she’s been missing all these years. When they pulled away she looked in his eyes, “Namjoon, I missed you so much.”

“I can say the same thing, love.”

#bts x reader #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts hoesok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts namjoon x reader #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon fanfic #bts smut

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