#✗ verse: ( euphoria. ) i believe in life. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chelledoggo · 3 days

Text

My Analysis of "Lazarus Drug" by Meg Washington, and how it pertains to Bluey's "The Sign" [MASSIVE BLUEY SPOILERS]

(This post is going to deviate from my typical "all lowercase" typing style because I kinda want it to be taken seriously lol.)

So, I was doing some dishes earlier, and I started thinking about the song "Lazarus Drug" by Meg Washington. I started mulling over the lyrics and thinking about how it was used at the ending of the Bluey special "The Sign." The wheels kinda started turning and I felt compelled to attempt to present my interpretation and the thoughts I have about it.

Now, I'm not a music theorist or a seasoned philosopher or TV critic. I'm just about as much of a layperson as one can be. I'm just kinda calling things as I see them.

Although only the final portion of the song was used in The Sign, I wanna go over the full version of the song to give a better understanding of what all the pieces mean put together.

This probably won't be a play-by-play of every lyric (because I'm not that smart lol), but I'll do my best to get the point across.

Let's begin!

[MASSIVE BLUEY SPOILERS BEGIN BELOW THE CUT]

I am asleep, I am a slug I am a thief, I am a thug

The first lines of the song give the impression that the singer perceives herself as an impure person. She seems to bring attention to her vices of focusing too much on the self to the point where it could potentially hurt others.

You are grace, you are belief You are a Lazarus drug

This is where the song title comes in, and this section in particular is clearly very heavy on Biblical imagery.

Lazarus was a figure in the Bible, specifically the Gospel of John (John 11:1-45). He died of illness and had been in the tomb for four days. Jesus loved Lazarus so much, that he had wept upon the confirmation of his death. He then went to the tomb where Lazarus lie and resurrected him.

Note how the singer refers to the subject as a "Lazarus drug." When you think of a drug, you think either of something meant to treat an illness, or something meant to give someone a high. However, in this case, I think it's both.

Meg Washington said the following in an interview with ABC's (Australia) Double J radio station:

"'Lazarus Drug' is a song about love and euphoria and revival. It's really just an ode to whatever it is in your life – or my life – that makes you feel like rising up and floating in the middle of the air and splitting into light beams of happiness. "Writing this song was really special for me, because every time I sing it I feel the same way that I felt when I wrote it. I really wanted to make something that sounded like how we can make each other feel if we try very hard to share love."

The subject of the song is a loving, caring figure. You could even argue that they are a Christlike figure. The love and compassion that they extend to the singer not only heals their pain, but makes them feel high, as illustrated in these lyrics a few lines later.

And when you make A perfect circle in the sky I get so high I get so high I'm like a planet And I can't come down Oh, I can't come down

The next verse begins like this:

You are an angel And when you weep, the heavens rain I am a mermaid, eating at the sushi train

The "mermaid at the sushi train" metaphor is kind of up in the air, but I believe it might once again be highlighting the singer's selfishness.

Like, why would a mermaid be eating sushi? Why would she be eating her little fishy friends? Like imagine if Ariel was advertising frozen fishsticks... Oh wait...

It seems like a metaphor for thinking more about your own hunger rather than the needs of those you're meant to care for.

We sort of see this in both Bandit and Rad's subplots in "The Sign."

Bandit gets this high-paying new job in another city. He's going to have to uproot his family's life and take them away from the people they love and care about in Brisbane. However, Bandit doesn't really seem to consider too much how this might emotionally affect Bluey and Bingo. The way he sees it, he's doing the right thing. He believes he's guaranteeing a bright and comfy future for the Heeler family. He means well, of course. But in this case he's being so short-sighted that he doesn't seem to really take his family's feelings into account.

Likewise, Rad plans to move himself and Frisky out west after their wedding... Except that he didn't bother bringing this up to Frisky herself. His motives were arguably even more self-centered and short-sighted. He didn't bother asking Frisky how uprooting her own life would affect her. He just... assumed he could just smooth it over after the wedding. (I love you Rad, but... dick move, man. Dick move.)

But when you look in me With language in your eyes I get so high I get so high I'm like a planet And I can't come down

When the singer stops and looks at the subject, gazing into her eyes without needing to say a word, that "Lazarus drug high" comes back. She realizes that she's not in it alone. That there's people around her that love her and care for her, and they matter just as much as she does.

When Rad finally catches up to Frisky at the Lookout, they have this moment:

Now at surface level "I know you like it here" could just be referring to the Lookout, since it's one of Frisky's favorite places. But on a deeper level, I think we can tell what this really means. It's referring to Brisbane. You can even see the city in the background here.

Rad finally wakes up and realizes how much Frisky's home means to her. Neither one of them has to say a word about Brisbane for us to know that Rad's had a change of heart about moving. The way they look at each other during this scene speaks volumes.

Likewise, there's... the moment.

Moving day.

I feel it in the morning I feel how low it lies And then I hear you calling And then I start to rise I feel it in the morning I feel how low it lies And then I hear you call my name And then I start to rise

The Heeler house is all packed up in boxes, and the family is getting into the car to leave their driveway for the final time.

But just as Bandit's about to get in the driver's seat, he stops to answer a call from Bucky, letting him know that the Sheepdogs decided at the last minute not to buy the Heeler house.

After the call ends, Bandit walks over to peel the "SOLD" sticker off the "For Sale" sign.

He then gazes back at his family waiting in the car. No words are exchanged. He just takes a moment to look into their eyes. He's reflecting on what this move will mean for them. He remembers all the sorrow Bluey and Bingo endured over the revelation.

And suddenly his eyes are opened to what really matters...

And when I hear you calling Like you were always there I rise until I'm hanging In the middle of the air

He grabs hold of the sign, pulling it with the strength of two Bandits.

And when I hear you calling I split like I'm a snake With golden light like fingers And then I start to break Into a billion pieces

And...

...YEET.

Oh, I shatter into constellations Like I've never been more here Like I completely disappear

The ego shatters. Bandit foregoes the self and realizes his oneness with his family. That they all matter. That what they have in Brisbane is beautiful.

Sure, he could assure himself a cushy high-paying job and ensure a "comfy" life for his family.

But his family was already comfortable. More than comfortable, even.

His preconceived notions of what a "good life" could be disappear, because he knows they already have a good life.

I'm nothingness, but shining And everywhere at once I'm everything and everyone who is or ever was

Now this line is particularly interesting to me.

In eastern spirituality, especially Buddhism, there's a concept of "emptiness." Basically nothing and no one exists purely in and of itself. "Everything and everyone who is or ever was" exists because of interconnections through other factors. There's no inherent "thing" or "self." We're all one.

The words "emptiness" and "nothingness" in our western mindset seems to denote a feeling of despair and sadness. I think this is why Meg chose to word it as "nothingness, but shining." In the eastern mindset, "nothingness" is something that is shining and beautiful. It's not a sense of loneliness, rather a sense that you are not alone.

Bluey isn't a stranger to incorporating eastern spiritual thought into its episodes. Probably the most famous example is the episode "Bumpy and the Wise Old Wolfhound," which is loosely based off the Buddhist story of Kisa Gotami. The episode "Hide and Seek" alludes to the practice of mindfulness meditation, which is a practice rooted in eastern traditions. You could even argue that the episode "Slide" has themes of Ahimsa, the eastern principle of nonviolence and not causing harm to other living things.

Even "The Sign" incorporates the Taoist parable of the Farmer, which teaches about accepting the unexpected of life, and not labelling anything as "fortunate" or "unfortunate."

I also personally see themes of the aforementioned principle of interconnectedness. The whole episode is basically a literal "butterfly effect." Every little thing, from Frisky leaving the wedding and the Heelers going to look for her, to Flappy (who originally appeared in "Slide." Oh wow, this goes deep!) flying into the Heelers' car, to Bluey finding a lucky coin, only for it to get stuck in the binoculars that the Sheepdogs later use to spot their new dream house... it all leads up to the ending.

The ending in and of itself can't really be labelled as a perfect happy ending, either. Bandit can no longer accept his new job, and will probably need to find new work in Brisbane. How will it go?

"We'll see."

And You're nothingness, but shining And everywhere at once You're everything, we're everyone who is or ever was, forever

The final lines are just a pronoun switch of the ones before them. This could be interpreted in multiple ways. The singer could be addressing the subject of the song, but she could also be addressing the listener.

The song ends on a reminder that we're all connected. We're affected by the circumstances we face, including the love we're shown by others. Likewise, the love we show others affects them and those around them.

Isn't that kind of one of the overarching messages of Bluey as a whole? How we treat others - our friends, our families, our children - goes a long, long way.

...

WHOO. That ended up being more of a ramble than I thought.

Anyway, I'm just calling this as I personally see it from my silly overthinking layperson perspective. You shouldn't by any means take what I say as gospel, but I do hope I've at least given you something to think about.

And, of course, feel free to share your own interpretations!

If you've made it to the end of this massive skyscraper of text, thank you so, so much. I love you. 💖

#bluey #the sign #bluey the sign #meg washington #lazarus drug #long post #shut up chelle

14 notes · View notes

doorsclosingslowly · 2 years

Text

One year of SOC fic: and I still currently have as many WIPs in the works fml

I’ve been writing fanfic about Crows—let’s be honest, mostly Jesper, for one year now and it’s been such a joy wildly mixing the sad (what if Kaz’s trauma was externalized into being a zombie child), the fun fetishes (would you believe I only started writing porn this year? wild) and the silly results of bad jokes into the 25 crimes listed below and the many, many more crudely scrawled love letters to Jesper Llewellyn Fahey I have half-finished or just barely plotted on my hard drive rn. Look forward to year two!

Canon and canon divergent

Condemn It to Its Future (4.5k, M, Gen, the “kaz drowns and becomes a sentient child zombie” fic)

Love Your Masks and Adore Your Failure (6k, E, Kaz/Jes, the “slowjob” fic)

If You Want a Partner, Take My Hand (8.1k, E, Kaz/Jes, the “trans man kaz over-comparing trans man jesper to the sun tbh” fic)

True Faith (7.6k WIP, M, Kaz/Jesper/Wylan, the “let’s explore jesper’s gambling addiction by getting him addicted to modified jurda parem” fic)

I see your face in every flower (10k, E, Jesper/Reader, the “jesper gets it on with a Lovecraftian entity and that entity is YOU” fic, cowritten with @rainstormdragonragon)

Everybody Knows that the Dice are Loaded (5.3k, E, Kaz/Jes and bg Jes/Wylan, the “dickpunching as an act of devotion” fic)

This Time There's No Code Word (3.5k, M, Gen, the “jesper became a Dime Lion instead” fic)

Do You Remember the First Time? (3.1k, M, Gen, the “right after he joins the Dregs jesper saves kaz’s life” fic)

Things Will Shortly Get Completely Out of Hand (2k, T, Gen, the “ruining someone’s university graduation” fic)

Come Sing These Things (1.4k, G, Kaz/Jes, the “jesper’s teen diary” fic)

As Fish Love Water (2.5k, E, Kaz/Jes, the “ankle gills STD” fic)

Show-verse

Nearer than Heaven (2.7k, E, Jes/Dima and Kaz/Jes, the “jes tells kaz about his hookup” fic)

How the Light Gets In (19k WIP, E, Kaz/Darkling and Kaz/Jes, the “kaz the teenage Sun Summoner gets stolen back by jesper” fic)

Where Can We Live But Days? (22k WIP, E, Kaz/Jes/Inej, the “jes is the Sun Summoner and kaz hides him via murder and becoming a patron for Sun Summoner pulp erotica” fic)

It's a False Start and Not an Ending (2.4k, M, Gen, the “what is pekka touched kaz in that intimidation scene” fic)

Modern AU

Perhaps the World Will End at the Kitchen Table (13k, E, Kaz/Jes with bg Kaz/Jes/Inej, the “jesper’s dream date with his married boss who’s just using him for sex right? right?” fic)

I will love You at 4:15 p.m. next Tuesday (7.7k, M, Kaz/Jes/Inej with bg polycrows, the “new year’s eve, adhd problems and arson” fic)

Darling, Boss, Baby (2.3k, T, Kaz/Jes with bg polycrows, the “don’t you DARE call me Boss Baby” fic)

We Owe It to Disaster (1.9k, M, Gen, the “spy jes gets tortured and rescued” fic)

This Is the Time of Our Great Undoing (5.7k, T, Gen or Kaz/Jes who knows, the “gimp mask cuddling” fic)

Sweating off the Cheat Notes on My Thighs (10k, E, Kaz/Jes with bg polycrows, the “agender jesper’s gender woes and gender euphoria” fic)

Frosted Tips (4.9k, E, Kaz/Jes, the “lick frosting off the tip of my cock” fic)

Another Dream About Shapeshifting (4.1k, T, Gen, the “jesper dies and then goes on a roadtrip with kaz” fic)

Easy (6.1k, T, Kaz/Jes, the “decades-long besties on a first date” fic)

Other AU

By Your Hand Is the Only End I Foresee (10k, WIP, Kaz/Jes, the “everyone’s a Sith” fic)

Bits and Bobs

Crows Outside Complaining About the Finer Points of Local Politics (snippet collection)

#dimtraces makes things #jesper fahey #kazper #polycrows

78 notes · View notes

ultrahpfan5blog · 11 months

Text

Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse is a dazzling and entertaining delight....

Having watched the film over the weekend, I wanted to sit down and digest it a bit and let the initial euphoria of the movie dissolve to give a more objective opinion. This film is undoubtedly a blast. Incredibly fun, with characters that you genuinely like, with breathtaking animation to boot. I remember Into the Spider-verse was an unexpected treat back in 2018. I watched it late at night in an almost empty theater, and I was similarly mesmerized at that time. Its tough for me to rank ATSV against ITSV, because the latter is the reason for the former. ASTV is much grander than ITSV, and uses multiple art styles to depict the different universes. However, ASTV is also a part of a whole while ITSV is a complete movie on its own. That isn't a major ding on ASTV, but definitely you don't get the narrative satisfaction of a complete product from the movie, even though I feel there are definitely story arcs for Miles, Gwen, and even Peter B, which do come full circle by the end of the film.

The way I see it, there are 3 types of multi parters. One is where the first part acts as an individual movie, where character and story arcs are completed and new ones are set up for the next film, like in Infinity War, which was a definitive conclusion of Thanos' journey to balance the universe by getting all the infinity stones. The second is where neither character nor story arcs are completed, and the film is left on a cliffhanger, similar to how Fast X did it a few weeks ago. The third is where character arcs are completed by story arcs are not. This third category is where ATSV lands. Without spoiling anything, it feels like Miles reaches a definitive point in his development. Gwen does too. But the primary villain and the story conflict are still to be resolved, and new story points are introduced towards the end of the movie.

The artwork in this movie is just stunning. The work for Gwen's world, with the watercolor effect and colors changing based on mood of the characters, looks magical on screen. Miles' world retains that comic aesthetic from the first film. But the main villain, Spot, is another artistic wonder. I also loved the escalation of the character. He starts off as a bit of a joke, but he slowly gets weirder and creepier, both in character and design, to the point where he's an incredibly powerful villain by the end. The artwork in Mumbatten is also lovely, as is the work done on Spider-punk. The film introduces many new characters, and all of them are appealing. Both Spider-man India and Spinder-Punk are immensely likable. Miguel is a character who you both love and hate. There is a lot of mystery around the character and I think there are many secrets to be unveiled in the next movie when it comes to him.

All the returning characters are fantastic. Miles of course is at the center of the film and he's a hero that we can genuinely root for. Gwen is almost a co-lead in this film and the film expands on her past and her relationship with Miles and her father quite a lot. She makes a lot of mistakes in the film, but the audience is always empathetic to her plight. Both of Miles' parents are vital characters in this film. While the father was great in ITSV, in this movie, Miles' mom is also a crucial character. That family unity is very loving and believable. I do think the film spends a little too much time at times, going over the dynamics and issues the parents are having with Miles, but the characters are great. Peter B. Parker, who was my favorite character from ITSV, has a reduced role, but he does have some vital scenes. Like Gwen, he also does a few things which are misguided, but given the context of his life, it makes sense. There is a conversation between Peter and MJ towards the end of the film about parenting. I didn't realize it at the time, but I later understood that he was essentially talking about how to correct mistakes and adjust course.

The voice acting is superb, with Shameik Moore as Miles, Hailey Steinfeld as Gwen, Jake Johnson as Peter B, Jason Schwartzman as the Spot, Oscar Isaac as Miguel, Brian Tyree Henry as Jeff Morales, and Luna Lauren Valez as Rio Morales being the standouts. All in all, this is a superb film that is worth watching and lives up to ITSV, in some ways surpasses it, some ways is just below it, but is always entertaining. A 9/10.

#across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #miles morales #peter b parker #gwen stacy #miguel o'hara #the spot #shameik moore #hailey steinfeld #jake johnson #oscar isaac #jason schwartzman #brian tyree henry #luna lauren velez #spider punk #spider man india #into the spider verse

13 notes · View notes

kcyars189 · 10 months

Text

FASHION

BEAUTY

VESPA VERSE

Here’s Why HBO’s The Idol Deserves All The Hate It Got From The Internet

- Alexa! Please delete all The Weeknd songs from my playlist.

profile pic

Ekta Sinha

EKTA SINHA

JULY 3, 2023

The Idol

We watch shows to escape our boring realities, at times to find solace and mostly for a dose of entertainment. We all have a preferred genre, from romance and slice-of-life to a lot of us oddly enjoy crime documentaries and thrillers. But let’s face it, the content we consume online does impact us. Now imagine coming from work and binge-watching HBO’s The Idol, directed by Euphoria creator Sam Levinson, the show with layers of misogyny and an uncomfortable depiction of the ‘male gaze’. Well, I may have a different opinion (though, I hope not), but if you missed watching this show, believe me, you’re doing fine.

The Idol was released with a comprehensive storyline to shed light on the toxic work environment in the music industry. While one may expect it to move forward to show how pop stars are actually ‘created’ and promoted by sought-after music labels for their benefit, the show turns into a compilation of sleazy videos, all this in the first 15 minutes. The hype around the show is mostly contributed by the fact that it stars The Weeknd, a Canadian singer who goes by the name Abel Tesfaye, whose fans were thrilled to see him act in his first-ever show. However, it didn’t work well for the singer-turned-actor as fans took to the internet and called the show ‘cringe’ and criticised its unimpressive and poorly written plot.

The Plot And Its Plight

The protagonist, the ‘Idol’, is Jocelyn, played by Lily-Rose Depp, a teenage pop star who is about to make a comeback after a public mental meltdown. However, after a personal image of Jocelyn gets leaked online, the sales of her show’s tickets get impacted, and this happens before the release of her new single. While experiencing a hard time personally and professionally, Jocelyn seeks out Tedros, played by The Weeknd, a DJ and club owner who wins her heart (eye rolls).

The Idol Lily Rose Depp GIF - The Idol Lily Rose Depp Jennie Kim - Discover & Share GIFs

While Tedros as a character is problematic, which comes through loose dialogue-writing, Jocelyn, in a typical plot, falls for the wrong guy. What seems like abuse to the audience was portrayed as love for Jocelyn. At one point, I thought Sam Levinson had taken the plot from ChatGTP!

Sexy or Sexist

If reports are to be believed, the shooting for the show began with director Amy Seimetz who was later replaced by Sam Levinson. Seimetz abruptly left the six-episode series after completing almost 80% of it, according to a shocking undercover revelation by a publication that claims that The Idol’s co-creator, The Weeknd, disapproved of the feminist eye of Seimetz.

Apart from the storyline and dialogues, the costumes given to Jocelyn further add to the sexist portrayal of the character. Mostly dressed strings and scraps of fabric, it was pushed beyond the actual necessity of the plot. We all know sex sells, but The Idol’s sex scenes are painful, sleazy, gross, and borderline abusive to watch.

A few fans also called the show ’50 Shades of Tesfaye’ because of the extreme objectification of women especially in the sex scenes of the second episode. If that grossed you out, you’d not even want to watch the fourth episode where the torture scene of Troye Sivan’s character Xander with a dog collar is haunting, to say the least. When Depp was quizzed about these scenes in particular during the promotions, she shut the discussion calling it an ‘artistic vision’.

The Acting Ache

When the cast was first announced, the internet found it was a dreamy one. But as the episodes were released, the fans and audience were proved wrong. Naturally, in a show where outrageous visuals took centre stage, performance was the least of concern for the actors. However, the audience was quick to judge, and rightly so. Depp, who comes with some acting experience, failed to impress with her acting skills, let alone The Weekend who was doing it for the first time. Let us not get started on hideous erotic dance moves and expressions.

The Idol also marks K-Pop royalty, BLACKPINK’s member Jennie’s acting debut, which we pray never should have happened. Jennie’s barely-there dialogue delivery is awkward, with no facial expression. Even her fandom couldn’t save her from this catastrophe where the makers just roped her to cash in on her popularity.

The case in point here is that it’s not the sex scenes that may make you uncomfortable, it’s the treatment. The characters are not just misogynistic and sleazy, they will make you rethink the definition of artistic vision and value. Whether or not the scenes and dialogues support the character’s journey and progression or the story or vice-versa is food for thought. For now, the show ending an episode early with no traces of renewal is the only consolation we are happy with.

Also, read Food Thirst Trap Videos Are All Over My Social Media And I Don’t Have The Slightest Clue Why

4 notes · View notes

aliatori · 2 years

Note

Hey you 💙 May I have some tracks for my favourite treasonous first admiral, Izod!

This was an especially fun challenge, thanks for asking. 🖤 Here are four songs for our favourite First Admiral:

I — I Feel Like a God by DeathByRomy Z — Zephyr by King Buffalo O — OK by 8 Graves D — Death to the Holy by Zeal & Ardor

Expanded discussion beneath the cut!

I Feel Like a God by DeathByRomy

Gabriel Berthelot may hold the reigning title on God Complex (Literal), but Izod isn't far behind on the God Complex (Figurative? Or Is It?). This song to me highlights the intensity behind Izod's necessary front of deception. Welcome to my contradiction/I'm soft but I like the friction immediately grabbed me; they've taken great pains to lean into Admiralty scuttlebutt that they're soft/weak/ineffectual, which is hastened by their multiple failures to eradicate Xeheia's cultists.

The chorus to me reflects on the intense high they get the more they accomplish behind the scenes during their ascent to First Admiral. Elation at getting away with almost-literal murder wars with their internal (but unacknowledged and unnamed) shame at the elaborate betrayal of principles they once lived by, combining to create an unexpressed but manic euphoria.

The second verse really hits the nail on the head the whole way through, but in particular: My favourite game's deviation/Steer far from the population/Follow me to your sweet salvation. Whether they truly believe it or they convinced themself of it will ultimately be up to the reader, but Izod's political zealotry results in an intense, unshakable belief that they're the only one who can lead the Empire's navy to its former glory once again. Zephyr by King Buffalo Imagine my surprise and delight when one of the coolest 'z' words actually had a song that fit Izod. Granted, if I had the luxury of making this mini-playlist in narrative order, this song would be first, but beggars cannot be choosers especially when it comes to difficult alphabet letters. This is a really long song at 9 minutes, but I actually appreciate it; it mirrors a long period of Izod's life where they were content with their rise through the naval ranks. Because I am me, I see the first verse through a lens of their transition and early career: As you cast off from the shore/Hoping for a gentle breeze to push you on/You sever from everything you left behind/Do you feel alive? Did you think you would ever get this far?

There's definitely a freedom Izod achieves from the strict social constraints of their privileged upbringing by enlisting in the navy as themself—even if it was not without struggle at points. Because I'm me and I love a narrative foil that is more similar than different to a protagonist, contrast this with Hugo, who is of a similar age to Izod and would have been in those very same social circles (wealthy merchant class) were he not abducted by the fold. I often think about how these two would have known each other in vastly different circumstances had the Melançon tradeship charted a different course that voyage. The second verse has the nice bonus of a double-layered meaning. As Izod starts to become disillusioned with the cushioned, 'soft' politics of the Admiralty and as they take on their self-given job of pursuing the Fury's cult, their life becomes more fraught. As the tempest presses on, eating up the sky above/You eagerly try to break out of the storm/Shadows burgeon overhead, forging lightning bold and red/Leaves you clamouring for the refuge of the shore. Despite their god complex, Izod isn't immune to moments of doubt, and being confronted with the considerable power of Xeheia's fleet is definitely one of them. Their career and life isn't quite how they imagined in, and You remember what you left behind/You pray the wind will carry you home. Except, of course, they double down on their ambition in the end. Which leads nicely to: OK by 8 Graves

This is, pretty obviously, a post-Fate Izod song. I mean, like: The evil that I hold inside/Bed of nails on which I lie, I made it/There's nowhere left for me to hide/Racing toward the other side/I hate it? It's like I wrote it myself, except I didn't actually.

It's pretty obviously signposted that at the end of Fate, Izod is contending with some aspect or fragment of the Carnage. To me, this whole song is about their struggle to keep it together while contending against what Fate demonstrated as an extremely powerful corrosive force—even the mere wisp they were exposed to. So even though Nothing seems to make me feel okay, this song to me represents Izod struggle to do 'right' (though as with most protagonists in this world, what is 'right' to them is vastly different to what is morally good to most folks, lol). Death to the Holy by Zeal & Ardor

In addition to being an absolute banger, I love this song because it speaks to Izod's journey both before and after Fate. If we look at it in a Fate and prior context, I choose to interpret this song as their unwavering, unbending, some may say obsessive quest to bring down Xeheia's fold. First order of business/We sin, we don't pray for forgiveness. Again with the narrative foil bit, but I am always interested in what characters will compromise (or grow) their principles for, and it's fascinating to me that Izod does the most bending of theirs in the name of righteousness. Or, to be on the nose, in pursuit of the death of the holy—in this case, Xeheia. When you look at it through a post-Fate lens, it reads almost exactly the same, except now Izod is in a position of far greater authority to do something about it. And the death of the holy might be expanded to include a certain deity of secrets... and it might not be Izod's quest alone. 👼

#ali answers #the forsaken and the forsworn #ch: izod arsensault #help your honour I love them #qliatori

2 notes · View notes

whenitsdarkweilluminate · 7 months

Text

Lisbon 2018 – Semi-Final 2

Host: Portugal Slogan: “All Aboard!” Participants: 43 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

The opening sequence of SF2 is exactly the same as SF1. And once again, the show segues immediately into the host introductions without any opening performances.

The hosting team continues to provide comedic dialogue, with tonight's best joke being the “Ola” one.

The interval starts with part 2 of the ESC Encyclopedia. Then the 4 hosts dance to a medley of iconic Eurovision songs, including a “Making Your Mind Up” role reversal, and Filomena reluctantly reenacting the “Euphoria” choreo (that one was funny). Next, there's a blooper reel from filming the postcards, which is cute. Then it's part 2 of the “David Attenburger” skit (ugh). And finally, there's a short documentary explaining how Portugal's 1974 entry sparked political change in their country. I liked that they shared this piece of their history with the world.

As for the results... they're pretty chaotic here. There was very little consensus between the juries and the public. The overall winner of SF2 is Norway, despite placing 2nd with the juries and 3rd in the televote. Instead, the jury winner is Sweden and the televote champion is Denmark, which the juries didn't even rank in their top 10 (WTF?!) Besides Denmark, the public also saved Serbia and Hungary. Which means THREE of the “jury qualifiers” didn't make it. Those would be Romania, Latvia, and Malta. Not only that, Malta was DEAD LAST in the televote. Below Georgia. On the flip side, the juries saved the Netherlands at the expense of Poland.

Additionally; Azerbaijan, Romania and Russia all NQ for the first time. Which means only Ukraine and Australia (for now) remain with perfect qualification records. This is a good thing for the integrity of the contest. No country should be able to get away with sending literally anything and still qualify.

✓ Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song “Fairytale” gave me goosebumps... “That's How...” is just annoying and cringe. It's basically a sequel to “Love Love Peace Peace” (since Rybak made a cameo in that), but with sincere writing instructions this time. Here, he suggests jotting your ideas down to get started. I mean, that is the hardest part. But the lyrics are too cliché to be useful: Find your rhythm! Enjoy the small things! Find your mission! Work your magic! Not to mention his 2-step guide of “Believe in it” and “Just roll with it”, which aren't really steps. It's a thin concept. So thin that the song throws in a scatting break, an obligatory violin solo, and 6 choruses to fill time. The instrumental is beyond irritating too, ESPECIALLY the recurring 'da-da-da; da-da-da; da-da-da-da-DAH!' riffs and guitar scrambles. The song begins with a brief violin. Then the guitar and drums take over, creating a funky strutting rhythm. The “get big” line also has a lunging effect. Next, the “step 1” part switches to a stop/start motor. The scatting part reduces to just claps, leading to kicking drums. The violin solo adds motor bursts for dramatic effect. The beat pauses again after the violin. And the beat intensifies towards the end. Moreover, Rybak comes off smarmy on stage. He's trying TOO hard to be a charismatic goofball. The air violin / drums / etc (with the chalky animations) are cringe too. The animated objects on screen are unnecessary in general. This is the kind of song I don't want stuck in my head. It's too jaunty and kinda disjointed?

× Romania: The Humans - Goodbye Romania's first NQ, and they've been struggling ever since, aside from WRS. Maybe “Goodbye” was too serious. In the verses, the narrator is ready to take their own life. They tried to overcome it. They kept their battles a secret. While the chorus is the voice of someone trying to stop them. Singer Cristina sounds sincere, and the song has good intentions. But this friend lacks understanding or empathy. The wording of “Why can't you...” and “...by the way is all for free” sounds frustrated, and assumes it's an easy choice to be happy, when it's not. The melody isn't that catchy either – the chorus is too wordy and the verses are too stationary. The latter uses depressive short phrases and long pauses. The staging is confusingly abstract too. There's several mannequins in white masks to represent identity loss. The performance begins with the cellist removing her mask and walking away. Then the two guitarists (with their masks on backwards) switch potions around Cristina. They touch her, they push her backwards, they put her in the middle of a guitar jam. Then she wanders around the mannequins. Then they all reach out to the cellist. The instrumental channels '90s soft rock, but it isn't anything special. The verses are a generic piano ballad, with a cello appearing midway. The chorus is very different. It kicks off with a big vocal note and a pent-up, Coldplay-like release of rock guitars (I like this part). And it waits a moment before the chorus lyrics start.

✓ Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca RIP Sanja. “Nova deca” is missing something though. The intro lasts nearly a minute! It begins with a traditional flute and a thump, followed by mystical, otherworldly folk chanting that carries across the land. I love the windy, stuck-in-the-moment, mountaintop atmosphere of it. But the syllables are so stretched out. Eventually, the “tribal” drums arrive to power the rest of the song. The chorus, which swoops in during this transition, switches to a male vocalist, making the contrast apparent. The drums patter in the first chorus, with a bit of flute. Then the drums speed up in the second verse, which also inserts some unexpected 2011 blunt dance synths. This allows the second chorus to glide. Later, the bridge goes into a “na na ney” bit with rubbery drums, leading to a brief beat pause. However, I find the chorus melody underwhelming. And I get sick of the persistent chanting by the end. Lyrically, “Nova deca” is about how “new children create a better world with us”. The verses ask for rest, mention regret, and wish to create a better world for the kids. While the chorus describes the effect this person has on the narrator. The stage direction is professional too, with the arm movements in the intro, the bald guy hiding behind the women, the lead singers reaching in opposite directions, the arms across the chest gesture, and the group separating upon the second chorus. There's just something about their positioning on stage.

× San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are This just sounds like a first draft. Jessika's message seems sincere, but the production is dated, the lyrics are generic, the mini robots are confusing, and the rap verse is corny. “UH, LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP, IT'S ME JENNY B!”; “If they dissin' you on Twitter / Don't get sad, don't be bitter!” 💀 That rap verse comes out of nowhere too. “Who We Are” is a defiant, loving yourself empowerment anthem to stand up to the bullies. Jessika mentions a bullied, lonely childhood. No one told her to be proud of her differences. So she put on a show. But now she stands tall. She uses the “we” pronoun to relate to the listener. But that “We... are who we are.... and who we are... is who we wanna be!” lyric is so empty. And the chorus is mostly cliches. The “AND WE'LL BE RISING WHEN WE FALL” hook is effective though. Musically, the song opens with downpouring dull taps. Then the first verse tries to be quirky, with air slices and glitchy echoing pops, plus broken metal ticks midway. While the pre-chorus switches to heavy strings. But the chorus feels underdeveloped. It goes for a suspended effect and a fist-raising vibe, but it's just generic pop-rock. Next, the bridge quiets to a piano. And Jenny B ad libs in the back half. On stage, there's 4 dancing robots. One of them holds a card saying “sometimes”, which later flips to “size doesn't matter”, while giving two middle fingers. Jessika is also confronted by two muscly dancers at the start (to represent the bullies?) Jessika's vocals aren't the best either.

✓ Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground I can see how this stood out. “Higher Ground” is inspired by Denmark's Viking history. The stage involves 5 bearded men standing next to two large ship sails, with a blowing snow effect during the key change. And a fun marching sequence during the Icelandic chant. All that's missing is the helmets. The lyrics initially romanticize this era of leaving home to conquer distant shores. But the “Yet victory won't prevail” line shatters the fantasy. Vikings were violent. The message is that violence is not the answer (ie. take the “higher ground”). The group even waves a white flag of surrender at the end. But the song isn't taken too seriously either. The only issue I have is the low vocals. The pop chorus is catchy though. The harmonies really elevate it. They even throw in some “OH OH OH”s for good measure. Musically, the song opens with a sawing, buzzing, distortion warning. Then the verse uses this ominous ghostly background, paired with a slithering synth, then some strings. Next, the forceful stomping drums (+ “HA HA”) announce the crew's arrival during the chorus. That chorus has an adventurous sailing against the waves vibe. The stomps are weaker in the second verse then disappear. Then the beat stops before key change. And the final chorus adds victory horns. I also like the synth in the Icelandic chant. Otherwise, the way the group stands together is effective. Same with their arm gestures, the marching, and Rasmussen entering in a hazy filter.

× Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break #StandWithUkraine

Russia gives Julia a second chance after being DQ'ed in 2017... with a song destined to NQ. Was this a ploy to play the victim? My low ranking has nothing to do with the politics though... “I Won't Break” is just a bland generic ballad and Julia's vocals aren't that good. The poor thing sounds like she started learning English a week ago. She even forgets to sing at one point. And why are her eyes closed so much? The instrumental is so anonymous and indistinct as well. It kinda reminds me of Sia's “Chandelier”. The song starts with some sparse, “at peace” piano notes. Then the bucket ticking comes in. The verses have slight ice synths too. The chorus, meanwhile, sees the percussion explode, as the backing shouts “I WON'T BREA-A-A-A-AK”. But when I hear the chorus all I think is “...that's it?”. The hook and explosive percussion are so basic and “blah”. The “even in the darkness...” bit is okay though. The final chorus then adds a siren-y transition. The lyrics are a cliche word salad (“when it comes to emotions/from the deepest of oceans”!) The song is about how Julia will be emotionally strong from now on. Her sandcastle turned to stone. Her broken wings are soaring with kings and queens... sure. The staging is similar to Estonia, with some swirling colours on this volcano structure Julia sits on. The two dancers are engaging though. I like their moves on the walkway. “Flame Is Burning” was better but not by much.

✓ Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day Such inventive and brilliant staging! It's like a comedic skit. The trio each has a lookalike – in matching blue, yellow or red – standing behind a wall of split doors that are continuously opened and closed. There's cartoon-like door chases; an illusion of yellow girl being split in 3; the rear feet and front feet dancing together; the 3 heads poking above the wall; and legs walking vertically. Then at the end, the lookalikes join the others out front. The coordination is impressive. “My Lucky Day” is a love triangle involving secrets, temptation, and relationship uncertainty. But with a lighthearted tone. It's also ambiguous who's “number 1” or “number 2”. And I assume “make some music” = sex. Blue guy sings verse 1, while yellow girl and red guy cheat behind him. Then the men switch roles for verse 2. Yellow girl also jumps in for the pre-chorus, boosting the “something tells me...” hook. The “NUMBER ONE” bit sticks out too. The song itself seems less popular, but it's catchy, and the folksy horns add a Moldovan party flair. The chorus is kinda monotonous though. The song kicks off with a “heyyyy-YA!” Then a flurry of horns (with metal drums) appears before each verse/outro. The verses have a bouncy, horn hopping rhythm that never touches the ground (+ a brief fiddle). There's a launching sound before the chorus. Then the chorus adds a rattling drum. I dislike the “la da di dum da da” ending though. It's a kitschy song, but their physical acting is so funny. I prefer this to “Hey Mamma”.

✓ Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em Waylon of the Common Linnets returns as a solo artist. He brings another country song, but a wild one compared to the cathartic “Calm After the Storm”. The chorus is quite annoying though. I also hate the “OW!” ending. The backing dancers/musicians are overly energetic too. It looks like they're Kung-Fu Fighting at one point? They also bang their heads together with one foot on Waylon's platform. They toss their guitars. And they run and do flips at the end. The song's message is that we all have it in us to fight back. The chorus uses specific Wild West imagery - chrome pieces, blacked out denim, scarred up knuckles, bloody boots, rattlesnake venom. Plus Stone Cold and Mick Jagger references later on. It makes me think of a saloon brawl (the “lock and load” line implies pistols). The lyrics also call whisky a miracle drink. Musically, the song is driven by a country electric guitar and a foot-stomping drum beat. There's also a zigzagging guitar riff before each verse. And the guitar “locks and loads” after that lyric. The chorus is more guitar-heavy compared to the verses. The first chorus also stops the music on the last line. And the last chorus “drops down” at first. The song sounds like it's ready to get up and fight. There's an eagerness to it. But “Outlaw in 'Em” doesn't excite me much. It's not my preferred genre. I'm not that into Waylon's voice. And the song feels like a parody? Idk.

✓ Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love Australia's first time missing the top 10. Jessica brings passion and vocals to this, but the song is basic and the stage is empty. There's some pyro in the finale, but that's it. She mostly twirls her arm, shakes her hips, and points. It's lazy staging. And it's awkward when she gets the audience to sing along. This is the third Aussie entry in a row produced by DNA Songs. Their productions are kinda generic, BUT I'm a sucker for dramatic percussion. I also like the lingering “why...”s and “I know...”s. The song starts with a humming bass-line. Then, suddenly, a thunder-striking drum awakens the arena. Now the verses follow a piano note –> rattle shake pattern (with taps). There's another thunder strike. Then the percussion-heavy chorus arrives – with euphoric keyboard, surface-echoing strikes, and tambourine shakes - and heightens midway. Verse 2 adds a clappy beat midway. There's a “tribal” drum breakdown for the bridge. And the beat pauses before the last chorus. The verse lyrics are hesitant incomplete thoughts (until the 2nd half of verse 2). Jessica asks why we keep falling into destructive mindsets: the need to be somebody else, the “won't make a difference” attitude, the fighting over material trivial things. She pleads to not give up despite feeling powerless. Why? “Cuz we got love”! That's an unoriginal message for Eurovision. Still, the percussion and vocals give a determined / persistent vibe. Also of note: Jessica was an interval act in 2014 and the runner-up of Australian Idol 2006.

× Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You The last placed entry of SF2. Unsurprising, since “For You” is EXCRUIATINGLY boring. Yeah, this classical, old fashioned music/vocal style doesn't appeal to me anyways. But the melody is so slow and forgettable. The song has no energy. And the vocals are like listening to a dishwasher or something. It's white noise. The song makes me feel nothing. That fire rain finale is so undeserved. There's no chorus either. Instead, the song intensifies and releases tension a couple times, but in a tedious way? It takes so long to get there too. “For You” starts as a serene piano ballad. Then it adds in sparse metal pan ticks, followed by a rattling sound. These instrumental quirks are too subtle though. The strings come next. Then the vocals grow until the tension snaps off. After that, the song quiets to a heartbeat thump. Then it builds again into this “tribal” drum + vocal chanting bit (which is the only listenable part). Meanwhile, the 3 singers use harmonizing tricks. The lyrical message is about putting others ahead of yourself (“you only own what you share”). The band wishes for the snow to melt to warm up a cold person. They mention finding joy in other people's happiness. And advise understanding, sharing, selflessness, kindness. I assume this is their definition of love.

× Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up This begins an NQ streak for Poland lasting until “River”. I blame Gromee's snake/wavy hands during the “drop”. It looks silly. And was that motion blur necessary? The song is basically a generic 2012 David Guetta track. But it has an uplifting vibe and I like the squawky distortion “drop”. I just wish the “LIGHT ME UP, LIGHT ME UP, MY BABY” refrain and the “OH OH OH OH” build-up weren't so generic-sounding. The chorus lyrics don't say a whole lot. But it's catchy! Lukas's voice conveys innocent anticipation as well. The first verse describes his reactions after asking someone out – he feels weak, he can't breathe, the decision haunts him. While the second verse says “they” told him to leave (security? parents? friends?) He then urges this person to “light me up” (ie. ignite his full feelings). The song captures Lukas's “in the moment” thoughts. He put himself out there, now he's waiting for a response. I don't think he's pushy, just hopeful. Musically, the first verse is easygoing, with light guitar and keyboards. The chorus is a noticeable contrast to this – it increases the tempo via excited piano EDM, followed by a beat acceleration towards the “drop”. The second verse then adds bass-y dance synths. And the second chorus starts with an acoustic guitar instead. Both verses end with feedback too. There's also pyro during the “drops”. And Lukas runs to the audience at the end to hype them with “JUMP!” and “1, 2, 3, 4”.

× Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 5th with the juries… last with the public. Maybe “Taboo” had too much going on? The song sounds mechanical. Plus, the dubstep breakdown is dated, the lyrics use weird phrasing, and the chorus hook feels incomplete. Still, the dubstep adds a darker unhinged moment. And the chorus is catchy, with the “LET OUR GUARDS DOWN” shout and the “animals animals” stutter. In the song, Christabelle declares “it's time to break the taboo” on talking about mental health. If we keep it bottled up, we'll become destructive animals or criminals. She mentions enjoying the silence, feeling cold at home, insomnia, crippling demons, finding comfort in misery, and how our struggles seem foreign to others. The production is dark and complex. It opens with a metal screech. Then a throbbing bass-line drives the verse, with vocal squeals, and a clacking heartbeat drum midway. The first chorus retreats to radiating bass, followed by snaps and a clappy build-up. But the song doesn't take off just yet. The second verse adds firm drums and cold sounds, followed by metal tick shivers. Then the clappy build-up resumes, there's a beat acceleration, a glitchy rip, and finally a skating synth peak. The deranged dubstep breakdown follows this. Then the song rests, there's a glitchy vomit, and the skating synth returns. The stage is futuristic. It involves 4 LED pillars, where Christabelle stands in the middle at first. Then during the dubstep, there's a Sia video dancer. There's also strobe lights, pyro, anatomical heart and globe animations, and a screen shatter effect.

✓ Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár RIP Örs. “Viszlát nyár” is the kind of song you'll either love or hate. It's not often we a see SUCH a hard rock song in Eurovision. I can appreciate that on some level. AWS comes across as a genuine rock band and Örs has good stage presence. He throws raw emotion in this performance. But I just find screamo unpleasant. I can't even get through the last minute of this. The song jumps into the heavy metal electric guitars and machine-gun drums immediately. That intro makes a bold first impression. While the verses/bridge offer a respite from the song's high-adrenaline energy. Those verses/bridge sound like an empty tunnel or cave. The first one also includes echoing snowy footsteps, as more neutral drums come in midway. The heavy metal instruments then return for the chorus, where Örs switches to screaming and the stage flames go crazy. He also tears his throat apart from the end of the 2nd chorus onward. And the bridge exits the tunnel/cave via an extremely aggressive guitar, followed by a guitar respite moment and a key change. The lyrics are about Örs's dead father. I believe the verses are from the father's perspective – he's being brutally honest, he has to leave, and he says he'll live on in his son's memory if the son wishes. While the chorus is an angry FU. The dad wasn't there, it's too late now, and Örs wants back what the dad stole. The song addresses the ugly feelings of mourning a family member you had a bad relationship with.

× Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl Belgium/Croatia/Latvia are the lounge music NQ trio of 2018. I can see how “Funny Girl” didn't grab the public's attention. The song's pacing is a little slow. But it captures the feeling of embarrassment well. Laura made her crush laugh. She caught feelings. She felt comfortable being vulnerable. But then she saw them with another girl. Now Laura is the butt of the joke. She was “just” the funny girl and meant nothing more. The first verse keeps asking “ain't it funny”, while the second wonders if they even notice her reaction, since she's kept her feelings secret; implying this song is her confession. The bridge is pure desperation, where Laura promises she's the perfect mate. I like how the chorus has this heart-sinking feeling. This is when reality hits Laura (“you're looking at her... she's looking at you...”) Most of the song is driven by these spread-out, splashing percussion clacks. The first verse has a screech midway, followed by slicing bass thumps. The pre-chorus further adds string plucks. Meanwhile, the chorus adds cello roars between the clacks, along with muffled bits. The second verse adds metal tick rolls to the clacks and bass thumps. The bridge doesn't deviate much, but adds a light cymbal. On stage, Laura performs alone in a red dress set against red lighting, with jerky camera zooms and a neck snap. Those red lights intensify a lot. Laura has great stage presence too. She feels the song through her body movements.

✓ Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off The public rejected this jury fave! I have no issues with the song– it's catchy and breezy. My issue is Benjamin's smarmy performance. He is way too eager to please. His attempts at being charming and flirtatious do not work. The head nods, the smiles, the “HUH”s... just UGH! I like the stage design though. It involves flashing red and white (and later blue) horizontal bars of light behind Benjamin, set against a pitch black background. It creates the illusion of not being in the arena (until the contraption is shown). It's as if headlights and taillights are speeding past the city street, as Benjamin dances outside the club. His choreo seems over-rehearsed though: he gyrates his hips, motions with his arm, opens his legs, twirls and walks across. He also sounds like a dick in the lyrics. The song is simply about dancing to get over someone. Benjamin doesn't care if she disapproves or still wants him (“don't you dare wait up”!) While the second verse claims she was the problem. Still, the “dan-dan-dance you off” stutter is memorable. The “pressure” and “treasure” echoes are effective, as is the “And I” continuation. And the production is professional. It has a chill nighttime vibe. The song opens with relaxed boops, then snaps. While the chorus brings in the funky bass-line, with some clasps, and it heightens midway. The second verse then waits a little to bring back the bass and clasps. And the bridge is very Daft Punk. The beat also stops before each chorus (on the “forget ya” echo).

The Melfest 2018 runner-up, Felix Sandman's “Every Single Day”, would've been a better winner. My other faves that year were “For You”, “Shuffla” and “Last Breath”. Also of note: John Lundvik makes the final one year before his eventual win, just like Benjamin and Robin B just did.

× Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje Montenegro tries a Balkan Ballad again, since that's all they ever qualified with. But unlike “Moj svijet” and “Adio”, this one is just boring and forgettable. I tried to recall the melody and “Adio” played in my head instead 💀. The instrumental is way too serious on “Inje”. It intensifies as it progresses. But it's missing the smooth ambience and epic payoff of the Željko Joksimović entries. It needs more traditional instruments too. The song opens with a piano tickle and an ominous thud. Then the first stanza sticks to the piano. The hand drums enter next. Then the strings grow, the cymbals crash and there's a back-and-forth pounding intense harmony thing on “DO-OO-SHOO-OO-BEEEE-YAAAA”. The tension breaks, the song quiets down. Then it builds back up with strings and a snare drum, leading to sawing strings and a sneering “HA-AH-AH-AH” from the backing. Then the drums push the final chorus, the church bells ring, and the song ends with a bang. It's tiring. The title translates to “Frost”, where Vanja's relationship has frozen over. His lover's heart is a “dying ember”. It's frozen in summer when it should be warm. He trembles. The quilt can't warm him up. The days drag by. He secretly wants them back. He calls the heart a “treasured pet” (sure?) On stage, Vanja and the 4 backing singers look serious, but the staging isn't that memorable either.

✓ Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! I love this quirky trap beat! The fake power failure was a really bad idea though. Especially when it happens again in the final, so you know it's fake. It's just so awkward and stops the song's momentum. But it only lasts a few seconds. “Hvala, ne!” is full of badass attitude regardless. The intro is like an accelerating ping pong ball striking a table that comes into focus; along with this strange machine noise. Then the trap beat skips along in the verses, with bass vibrations. The beat stops in the chorus, which uses a humming synth instead. Then the “Hvala, ne!” + “OH OH OH OH” “drop” returns the trap beat. While the second verse brings back the strange machine noises. The second chorus and bridge then add a beat acceleration. The power cut happens where the second “drop” is supposed to be. And the bridge is synth-ier and has a nice build-up. I believe the song is about the beauty product industry? Lea doesn't want any part of it. Her “new look” is smiles and freedom. The lyrics mention “virtual tricks”, and advise against believing offers and selling one's soul. Lea also refuses to sell-out (“true art cannot have a price tag”). But not in a pretentious way, she has fun with the song. The title translates to “No Thanks!” and Lea delivers it in a defiant way. She also asserts her name in first line. The choreo is fierce too. I like when they all lean together. And the arm thing during the intro. There's lots of flashing lights too. And Lea has good stage presence.

✓ Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder It's good, but the “OH OH OH OH OH… YEAH” hook doesn't quite do it for me. And this song relies heavily on those “OH OH OH”s. The staging is memorable though. It involves Mélovin dressed as a vampire (including eye contacts). During the opening verse, the camera shows him laying down inside a partially boarded-up coffin in red light. Then a lever slowly, creepily pushes him upright. That coffin also happens to be a grand piano, which he plays later on. At the end, the staircase goes up in flames, with more flames in the background. That image + the closing piano notes makes this the perfect semi-final closer. The lyrics are vague (“Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial”), but “Under the Ladder” is about risking failure and facing fears to reach success. The title alludes to the famous superstition. It's all about willpower. It won't get any better! It's now or never! The decision has got to be made! The chorus captures this feeling of urgency, pressure and anxiety – it's so frantic with the slapping, running drum beat. I also like the eerie chorus transition. The song opens with a faint siren and a thump. Then the first verse uses minimal ominous sounds. The energetic chorus creates a noticeable contrast to this. While the second verse, after waiting a second, adds a smaller running beat (via a buzzy transition). The second chorus finishes on a piano riff. Then the song rests. The final chorus jumps back into it. And the piano finale is like Mélovin jumping out of his seat.

My Ranking: 01. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! ✓ 02. Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl 03. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day ✓ 04. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground ✓ 05. Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 06. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder ✓ 07. Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up 08. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love ✓ 09. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off ✓ 10. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca ✓

11. San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are 12. Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje 13. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em ✓ 14. Romania: The Humans - Goodbye 15. Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break 16. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár ✓ 17. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song ✓ 18. Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You

0 notes

sadlittleleo · 10 months

Text

Pasadena

I bet angels roam the streets there I bet that’s where the saints rent their apartments Where even the red lights are green Because it seems that an industry, A spectrum of self-help books Is profiting Beneath the rainbow of reasons why Our society is hopeless But guess what, The population there is color-blind

I bet every stranger on the sidewalk And every tourist spot you forget Is a spec Of glitter in the night sky And if you take the time To rhyme Those stars with one another The poem you create becomes worth reading over and over again Because every verse you read aloud Is with fate, A conversation A point plotted in the constellation Of your purpose Of my purpose

I’ve never Googled it I believe the search bar is a lot like my little sister’s purse Poorly containing her desires, Sacrificing specifications, But eventually She grows satisfied with what she gets out of it I will never be satisfied With landscapes on a screen that are nothing but Obscene And insincere What mere images only strive Is to express my heart when I arrive And yet my suitcase still carries hope Without even knowing where I’ll unpack I hang my faith on an invisible coatrack But I’m fine, Don’t worry, I’ve done it before, I’m a Christian, after all. See, it was almost as if He spoke anticipation into existence The second he replied with “We’re going to have to reunite there” I swear Suddenly heaven was only an hour away

I bet euphoria grows on vines there I bet our smiles would pollinate their petals I bet within the city lines, Pencils never break Bed sheets always stay on the mattress The alarm clock plays your favorite song so you can’t help but get up and sing along I bet high-fives are the form of currency I bet leaves don’t have to die to change colors anymore I bet the grass is never greener on the other side Because everybody there stopped allowing the world to set up their sprinkler systems I bet love blooms more often Because risks don’t wait until the springtime to be taken Because the word “consequences” lost all its negative connotations I bet it’s the answer to “where do broken hearts go “where do broken dreams travel” Because there are no cracks on the sidewalks Only mosaics that prove That shattered pieces will always find their way home

I bet no one ever knows the expansion of the sea I hope he finds it so deep that he won’t let me go alone And he’ll follow While I find it so shallow Knowing the only waves I could ever drown in lie in his hair

I bet the coffee shops ask for your ticket before entering Because I bet life performs its magnum opus through those doors I bet everyone comes out believing in magic I bet rabbits foam on the surface of every latte Each sip is like pulling a bunny out of a hat So that when I look up And we meet again I realize that keeping us apart was the worst trick God ever played on us

#writing #blog #poetry #diary #love #wanderlust #poem

0 notes

gatekeeperwatchman · 1 year

Text

Daily Devotionals for December 22, 2022

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living

Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 31:10-12 (KJV):

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall not need spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12 (AMP):

10 A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely so that he has no lack of (honest) gain or need of (dishonest) spoil.

12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

Thought for the Day

The remainder of Proverbs 31 records Bathsheba's instruction to Lemuel in choosing a wife. Tragically, he failed to follow her advice. Solomon's wives did not know the Lord and turned his heart from God to worship idols when he was old (1 Kings 11:1-13). Thus, a life that began magnificently ended miserably. The man who penned and preached a thousand wise things failed to practice the wisdom he taught. This chapter is not only advice for choosing a virtuous woman but is also a spiritual type of the church (Christ's bride) who should demonstrate the qualities of the virtuous woman to the world.

Verse 10 - The first thing that is established is the price of a virtuous woman's worth. Like a costly jewel, she is not easy to come by. I believe every man needs God's help to find this kind of woman. We know that it is the Lord's will for a man to have a mate if he desires one because after He had created Adam, He said: "...It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). God's favor rests on the man who prays and waits for the right mate so that they can serve God together. God is delighted to answer such a man's prayer and will bring the right woman into his life at the appointed time.

Verses 11-12 - A virtuous woman is a comfort to her husband; encouraging him and doing him good all the days of her life. She never leaves or divorces him. Her husband can trust her completely because she loves him for who he is and not for what he can do for her. Since he does not have to impress her with his ability to make money, he is not tempted to take anything for dishonest gain. A woman who marries a man for his money or for the security he provides does not marry for the right motives. When two people enter into a marriage with the idea of loving and serving each other, their marriage will be blessed because it is not based on selfishness.

In the past, we looked at the importance of being led by the Holy Spirit in choosing a mate and not allowing ourselves to be led only by our emotions. Love is much more than simply "falling" for someone and experiencing a sense of euphoria. The Lord certainly gives us wonderful feelings for the person we will marry. However, allowing feelings alone to guide us in the choice of a mate, can be disastrous. This description of a virtuous woman is a guide for choosing a spouse. The Lord delights to bring the best life partner to those who ask Him to do so and wait with patience and trust for His choice. What a glorious plan God has had from the beginning for both men and women!

Prayer Devotional for the Day

Dear heavenly Father, thank you for sending us a wonderful mate. Let us always be good and virtuous to each other. Lord, we pray for all those who are seeking mates, that You will send them the right one for their lives. We also lift those who have troubled marriages and we ask that You heal them and restore that first love in their hearts for each other. Give them Your Love for each other. Help them overcome selfishness, and heal each of them from the wounds that they have inflicted on one another by their angry and hurtful words. You are the God of miracles, perform a miracle for those who need one in their marriages. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

From: Steven P. Miller

Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups

Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA.

Instagram: steven_parker_miller_1956,

Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ,

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gatekeeperwatchman

URL: linkedin.com/in/steven-miller-b1ab21259

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElderStevenMiller

#GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981

0 notes

chingonaclaws · 1 year

Text

@deeplyflxwed ( x. )

The way his fingertips press and yet his hands caress cause a light gasp to lift, warm breath flipping from her open lips. Teenage infatuation and sexual appetite seething, she'd given into it before and she struggles not to give into it yet again. "How'd I know you'd know that shit?" she whispers, eyes fiery as they land upon his. Once again, she fully straddles him, removing her blouse, exposing her red bra of choice. "You want me to shut up?" she muses, pressing herself against him relentlessly, this time there is no coyness, Laura fully expresses her lust. She leans in, brushing her mouth against his, tongue leaving a sweet haze against his lower lip before she nibbles, with a playfulness. "Make me." Laura issues. "Or," she raises her brows and provides a smile. "You could make me moan for you." she moves her lips to his ear, suckling at his lobe and whispers: "That's what you really want."

#* yeaah had to move it to beta. blehh.#deeplyflxwed #( nate y laura / deeplyflxwed. )#;threads #✗ verse: ( euphoria. ) i believe in life.#* nsft -- kindaa.

2 notes · View notes

anythingstephenking · 1 year

Text

Barry and Dexter’s Love Child

It’s the homestretch y’all! Actually, spoiler alert, as I write this I have already finished Gwendy’s Final Task and Fairy Tale, and I’m formally done with my King adventure. It’s wild to think I’ve finally caught ‘em all but I’ll save my euphoria for another post. I’m behind on my blog posts so lets catch a mf-er up.

King sure can write a cat-and-mouse chase storyline, and Billy Summers is true to that form. Can you believe King is in his 70s and just still knocking through novels like nothing? I think a lot of Constant Readers feel this newer stuff isn’t as strong as coke-king-of-days-past, but I disagree. Save the Bill Hodges books (UGH), I have really enjoyed 2010s+ King, including Revival, The Outsider and The Institute.

Billy Summers is a fast-paced crime thriller I tore through pretty quickly. All I could think was that our titular character Billy was a cross between Bill Hader’s Barry and Michael C. Hall’s Dexter. Maybe I just liked picturing Bill Hader while reading because I consider him to be this world’s most perfect man. I will accept no questions at this time.

See, Billy’s an ex-marine sniper turned hitman. But he only takes jobs where the mark is a bad guy. Turns out there’s a lot of bad guys in this book.

Billy’s a pretty bright guy, but plays dumb for his hitman role. He’s hired for “one last job” and seriously, hasn’t he ever seen a movie? You can’t make it out of that last job Billy.

Despite the lingering sense of dread, it’s fun to watch Billy pretend to be a dumdum, while carefully unraveling that his anonymous boss definitely means to murder him once the job is complete. King world-builds as well as ever, as Billy settles into the suburbs waiting to carry out the hit. And because we’re in a Stephen King novel, Billy’s cover is that he’s a writer. Obviously. He takes his cover seriously and writes his own memoir, where we learn of his tragic backstory. It makes sense he kills people for a living.

As with Bag of Bones before it, Billy has a questionable quasi-romance with a young damsel in distress. Per usual, I did not much care for it, and as it was written in the post Me-Too era, could have been handled differently. Yes she’s in love with him. Because he saved her life, then assaulted her rapist by sticking an immersion blender up his bumhole. Yeah you read that right.

Questionably motivated female characters aside, Billy Summers is a twisty-turny crime novel paced well and was tons of fun. We even got to visit Sidewinder! Always a connection in the King-o-verse.

7/10

First Line: Billy Summers sits in the hotel lobby, waiting for his ride.

Last Line: She is found

Adaptations: Another one bought by JJ Abrams; we’ll see!

0 notes

jymbert · 1 year

Text

Classic Album

Cardiacs - Sing to God

Or more accurately, disc 2 (or sides 3&4 or second half) of Sing to God, which is quite simply the finest, most unhinged beauty in the whole of music.

Dirty Boy: there isn't a lot that hasn't already been said about this song but, seriously, if you claim there's a better song in music you're clearly lying. The opening crash. The never-ending ascension in mood and music. The what-the-fuckery. The choir on helium. The ecstacy. A bit of a fight over breakfast or something. The suffocation. The delirium. The stupid grin pretty much throughout.

Billion: Like a genius songwriting elf sitting on a dandelion singing about lost love.

Odd Even: Taking the piss out of Blur by writing a Blur song kind of based on Cardiacs and doing it better than Blur ever could. Kind of like Anakin Skywalker showing a mockney Luke Skywalker how it's done. Cars and aprons. The cars are nice.

Bell Stinks: The sound of a farting, rapidly deflating balloon zipping around a barn.

Bell Clinks: If Andrew Lloyd Webber got off his bollocks on acid, rewrote Jesus Christ Superstar for a cast of punks and got Jimmy Somerville in on backing vocals, it would sound like this only not as good because Andrew Lloyd Webber is terrible, awful shite.

Flap Off You Beak: marvel at the poetry: 'High and mighty beady bird eye'. 'Doggy-eyed graceless in my home'. 'Poison in the drops of black and white pearl on the leaving the cinema girl'. Then laugh your arse off at the fact those glorious lines are contained in a song called 'Flap Off You Beak'.

Quiet as a Mouse: if you ever wondered what Cardiacs would sound like if Cardiacs leader Tim Smith had brought in Chris Morris and Vic Reeves instead of Jon Poole and Bob Leith, wonder no longer.

Angleworm Angel: A philosophical gardener listens to Slayer and goes on a rampage around the allotments, bumping into Tim Smith near the carrots and talking science fiction classics. So I believe. Thrashes about like a gnome with a scythe.

Red Fire Coming Out From His Gills: Any song that describes the sea as 'untidy' is genius. That's all I have to say on the matter, apart from the fact it has the best song title in history. Often seems to me the closest Sing to God comes to 'old-style' circus-on-crack Cardiacs.

No Gold: Cardiacs do Magical Mystery Tour-era Beatles. But sad, and I'm not even sure why. Also glorious, and I'm not even sure why that either.

Nurses Whispering Verses: One of those 'anthems' Tim Smith liked to chuck out from time to time. Only this anthem sounds like mice pretending to be guitars. Repeats that ace trick of having a genuinely catchy chorus that has no words, just a guitar line. Kind of like Is This The Life did. Makes people sound daft as they sing along to guitars rather than words. White Stripes did it too with Seven Nation Army and made a generation of sports fans sound like dickheads. Cardiacs managed to do it with just Cardiacs fans, or at least this Cardiacs fan. The song finishes to the sounds of the Pond all Cardiacs fans dwell in.

Foundling: Majestic. 'I COULD WALK WITH ANGELS BUT I'D RATHER WALK WITH YOU'. How you manage to end a disc/half/whatever that starts with Dirty Boy with another song that touches the same level of beauty and euphoria just blows my tiny mind to Tim-smithereens.

Record an album better than that. Go on. I dare you. You can't, can you? And it's only ONE HALF OF THE BLOODY ALBUM. The other half contains Fiery Gun Hand, for flip's sake. It's ridiculous, really.

So go on - discuss it. Have rows. Debate the crap out of it. Flounce off if you have to. But I'm right and you bloody well know it. And if you've made it this far - congratulations. I may have been drinking.

Love ❤ to the Pond

Jim Bert

#cardiacs #classic album #music #review

1 note · View note

thepoetcarpenter · 2 years

Photo

A Critique of Wilder Mind From the Perspective of Kierkegaardian Existentialism

When I first gave this album a listen many years ago, I was unable to grasp the significance of it then. So I spent the following days in my Ikea bed of my Richmond Hill studio apartment feeling a euphoria though even after a few listens I did not know how much I will love this record. It is the first album in my life where I came to a theory of how rock albums should be made. To know if it is a great record or not, it should not be this sugar rush you feel, but through the narrative and composition of the songwriting and performance it should keep you intrigue ‘til it envelop your heart with complete ecstasy. And this is what this album was for me. A masterfully written piece of work.

The many topics that Wilder Mind covers range from unceasing love, the frailty of it, life after love, and also the frailty of it as well. So it is befitting to say this is a record that delts in thematic existentialism.

From the first song, “Tompkins Square Park”, brings forth a tale of a love being given up. The narrator resigns the hope that this love will continue, and knows it has to end. From the first bridge, it reads /Oh babe, meet me in Tompkins Square Park /I wanna hold you in the dark /One last time /Just one last time /And oh babe, can you tell what's on my tongue? /Can you guess that I'll be gone? /With the twilight /With the twilight. The story of this love sacrificed, his resignation to it, and his reconciliation to the fact he will never get it back marks him from the perspective of Søren Kierkegaard, as the knight of infinite resignation. He has given up the great love, and as this love is sacrificed, there is no other path for him but to reconcile that it is gone forever. This great theme of the knight of infinite resignation is told in many great tragedies, from Romeo + Juliet, Titanic, Shutter Island, and The Great Gatsby. Also coincidentally, it is also the great theme of Leonardo DiCaprio’s career.

In “The Wolf”, Mumford tells us of a story of the dangers of life and his unceasing love for another. It is songwriting full of vividness and imageries written into the three bridges. However, the existentialism that concerns us is in the chorus. It reads /Been wondering for days/ How you felt me slip your mind/ Leave behind your wanton ways/ I want to learn to love in kind/ 'Cause you were all I ever longed for. Here, Mumford confesses his unceasing love for her and asks her to quit her cruel ways toward him. Then in the next verse he invokes the absurd, though it has been a violent love, he will make it work and continues to love her. The absurd here is that this is a damaged love and unrepairable to everyone else, but in his faith, they will continue to love. By virtue of the absurd, tasked to make a broken love whole, he accomplishes the impossible. And by this impossibility made possible, in Søren Kierkegaard’s eyes, Mumford becomes the knight of faith.

In “Believe”, it is an account of a person with a lack of faith in the other. There is a wall between them, an insurmountable lack of trust. The voice of Mumford says to the other in the first chorus /I don't even know if I believe/ I don't even know if I believe/ I don't even know if I believe/ Everything you're trying to say to me. His trust for the other is a tank on empty. In the following bridge, he indicates that this lack of trust is due to his own faulty judgement as read /I had the strangest feeling /Your world's not all it seems /So tired of misconceiving /What else this could've been. Thus as a result of his inability to make clear and sound judgement, Mumford reveals in the subtlety his lack of trust is his own fault. In other words, he has no faith in the other ‘cause his self is separated from the other’s self. According to Kierkegaard, this wall of separation cannot be bridge by rationalising. It must be done through a leapt of faith. And as this untrust is from his own fault, it must be up to him to make that leapt of faith into believing. And through faith, the insurmountable wall is bridged.

In “Only Love”, it describe the universality of the concept of love. Mumford recalls the old adage, /Didn't they say that only love will win in the end. Though he is down at the bottom of the rung, he still believe the ideal of love will thriumph. He still believe in the universal, in other words, he still believe in the universality of love. However, from the failures of this love that he has, he becomes disillusioned. But still, he will not give up this love as he sings /And I hunger and I thirst/ For some shiver/ For some whispered words/ And the promise to come. The key verse here is the last, as he still believes this love will work out in the end like a promise fulfilled. Though he admits /And you saw me low/ Alone again/ Didn't they say that only love will win in the end. He accepts this love have left him in the contradiction of being alone, for is it not to love is to be not alone. Yet he is alone nonetheless, and as he repeats / Didn't they say that only love will win in the end, he has faith that he still will have this love at the end. Thus, again Mumford becomes the knight of faith through the virtue of the absurd.

In “Ditmas”, it encapsulates the entire themes I discussed in one single song. It is a great song and beautiful in its sorrow and frailty of love and life. It begins with the introduction /And in time /As one reminds the other of the past /A life lived much too fast to hold onto /How am I losing you? As love slips out of our grasp, and the life we had with them escape away from our hands, we can do nothing but mourn for its lost. Then he continues with /A broken house /Another dry month waiting for the rain /And I had been resisting this decay /I thought you'd do the same. Here he is indicating that he has resisted of letting her go, of letting the love decay in a ruin ‘cause he holds this to be his utmost truth. Their love he takes as the great ideal of the universality. In other words, he knows his belief in love is the universal, the unequivocal and undeniable great truth. Mumford then confesses that this love has led him to the thoughts of death. As he states /Fragile sound/ The world outside just watches as we crawl/ Crawl towards a life of fragile lines/ And wasted time. The frailty of his life is the result of the frailty of his love. Furthermore, it is the overwhelmingly sadness of this love that has brought him to his knees. Though he is in despair, according to the Kierkegaardian view, he is also being unconscious in despair of having a self. Though love of others can fail at times, he does not know he has a self outside his finitude, and is ignorant that there is a love for him outside of it as well. And what I mean is that though love of others can fail, the love of God can never. Precisely ‘cause he is unconscious in despair of having a self, the love of God cannot save him from the fear of death for he has no faith in God other than his broken faith in his love for the other. He thus becomes a knight of infinite resignation. He is grounded in the universal. So he does not make a leapt of faith that he will get her in this life not in virtue of the absurd, not in virtue for all things are possible with God. ‘cause he does not know of God, he remains as the knight of infinite resignation and does not overstep into the knight of faith. In other words, ‘cause he does not have absolute faith in God, he does not become the knight of faith. For if he had absolute faith in God, after sacrificing his love, he would have faith he will be united with his love in the end, ‘cause all possibilities are graspable with God.

Wilder Mind is a complex album full of sophistication and poignant themes of love and life and the frailty of them. It is in my opinion the best album by Mumford and Sons, and a contender for one of the greatest album of all time. The themes of love and life entails the complex ideals and notions of existentialism. And when viewed through Kierkegaard’s perspective, the songwriting of this record becomes enlightening and clamouringly vivid and expressive.

0 notes

non-binharry · 2 years

Note

Hello asia! I'm going to title this essay "Why Boyfriends is about Louis - and that's okay!" by a friendly neighboorhood trans larrie. So let's give some background shall we? If you look at lyrics in the LCU (Larry Cinematic Universe) we can all see the main problem that has come up in their relationship: communication. I'll get into specific examples later but that's what it boils down to. As someone who has been here since 2012, I don't see anything in their lyrics to be about cheating, abuse, etc. So after a few listens of Boyfriends and reading the lyrics, I came to the conclusion that it's definitely about Louis and it's all about the lack of communication Harry felt he was getting during a difficult time. But what time, you may ask? Well, dear reader, in my humble opinion all their relationship troubles are not about cheating, feeling abused, break ups w.e angst wank people seem to think gay relationships can't get through like straight ones. No, imo it lies in a complicated mix of two big things: closeting, and Harry's gender identity. *for disclaimer purposes to cishets already offended by now: saying Harry is trans could mean a variety of things. His pronouns could be he/they/she but there is no denying that in the past 12 years of Harry bring in the spotlight, his relationship with gender is there and something that trans fans have picked up on, just like the gay ones who picked up on their relationship. This is just one person's interpretation of their songs so if you don't agree please ignore it. And be kind*

So, you might say, what do you mean, dear anon? Gender in the LCU? More likely than you think! I want to preface by saying that I analyze LCU songs on what I believe happened between them: they were feeling the restraints of their closet early on 2012-14 and were bad at communicating their feelings about it (Louis personality makes me think he's very much the "lets ignore our problems so we dont dwell on them" type man), but during all that Harry was also dealing with gender dysphoria and felt like Louis was shutting him out so he had no one to talk to. So when Harry finally opened up about it, Louis felt awful for not being there for him. Too Young reads as a big apology for all of that but I'll get back to that later. Take Walls and how its about Harry. Verse 1: "nothing wakes you up like waking up alone, and all thats left of us is a cupboard full of clothes" (very clearly referring to a closet with "us") "the day you walked away and took the higher ground was the day that I became the man that I am now". Now bear with me here: imo this entire intro is Louis describing their relationship as they deal with Harry's gender identity. Why? Because look at the word "higher ground". When do you go to higher ground? When flooding happens aka water disasters. Water, which has literary themes of rebirth when you emerge from it, is a big theme in Harry's music videos. Specifically with Falling with him underwater lamenting about his identity. He's drowning, feeling worthless, "what if I'm someone you won't talk about?". I believe Falling is about Harry feeling the lows of being trans, overthinking how it affects Louis, and the music video reflects that. Now back to Walls. The day Harry was able to escape the drowning (gender acceptance and euphoria) and take higher ground was the time Louis finally felt like they solved the worst of their communication issues and Louis could be "the man that I am now" in being an ultra supportive partner. The high walls Louis sings about is the way he used to box himself in from trying to deal with their problems (that he only thought was closeting but instead much deeper) but in the end they all came "falling" (*pointed stare*) down for Harry. Thats why he laments about "hurting who you love and no amount of words would ever be enough" when its literally the love of his life "you were my because". Louis has always been supportive of the trans community so I think he was kicking himself for a long time for not noticing what was happening with Harry. That's why the "thank yous" are so bittersweet. It was a painful but necessary wakeup call of not being there for his partner but they both grew from it. Perfect Now was born out of Louis giving Harry gender affirmations. Always You and We Made It are celebrating that they got through it together. But what about Too Young and Defenceless? Fear not! Because this is how they tie into Boyfriends. (2)

Boyfriends reads as Harry feeling unsupported Louis. In fact, think of it as Harry talking to a mirror about his problems after a hard day. Verse 1: "boyfriends, they think you're so easy, they take you for granted" The you is himself of course. Because of the lack of communication in their relationship, Harry felt like Louis wasn't paying attention to him. "They don't know they're misunderstanding you". This line speaks volumes to me. When you use "misunderstanding" it means that someone isn't understanding you correctly. But the boyfriend does not know that he's not understanding Harry correctly, right? Sound familiar to past themes in songs? As stated before Too Young feels like a big apology song by Louis for not being there for him. "I wish I could've seen it all along" stands as a mirror to the misunderstanding line. "I'm sorry that I hurt you darling" again for all the pain the lack of communication caused and not being there for Harry. And the rest of Too Young follows this apology theme that answers Boyfriends. The last line of the verse ends with "you, you're back at it again" and means Harry realizes the way the problem keeps coming back and he's just back to crying about it without solving it. (3)

Next verse goes "weekend, when you get deep in" could talk about how they both aren't working at the end of the week and Harry has time to get lost in his thoughts ( reminds me of "harry you're no good alone" from As It Was). "He starts secretly drinking, it gets hard to know what he's thinking" = Louis drinking with his lad friends where he's able to vent about their problems, but Harry wouldn't know about what they're saying because Louis doesn't vent to him. "You love a fool who knows how to get under your skin" Harry lamenting that Louis isn't open about their problems and goes to talk to others instead of trying to solve it themselves (Imo Defenceless tells Louis side of the story to Boyfriends with nod to "sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams" and feeling shut out by Harry too). "You, you, you still open the door" when Louis comes home yet still not talking about their problems and it eats him inside. Verse 3 goes "you're no closer to him, now you're halfway home, only calling you in, don't wanna be alone, no and you go, why? You don't know". Again the theme of Harry not wanting to be alone, yet not feeling close to Louis, and questioning why he still goes through with it. Harry also sings is as "half way home" like the space in between that's just like the song Louis registered. I wouldn't be surprised if Louis Half Way Home song will have the miscommunication theme too. Verse 4: "Boyfriends, are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading" and this reads like Harry feels as if Louis is just pretending to care for him at that point, and questions what's going to happen to their relationship. "And you know the games never ending, you, you lay with him as you stay in a daydream" and time for a "she" throwback! At this point everyone must know that She is all about Harry's gender journey. "She lives in daydreams with me" is a clear reference to this daydream line. Harry truly feels himself in those daydreams that Louis doesn't know about. And someone might listen to "boyfriends" and think "well why doesn't Harry just tell him?". If it was only so simple. Harry being trans could have made him scared of what that meant for his relationship with Louis. Would Louis break up with him? Would he look at him different? Would he not support him? Again this is the love of his life since he was 16. It can be incredibly scary to think Louis would leave him because he found his true self. It's very clear that Harry tends to think of worst case scenarios when he's hurting, and the fact he couldn't talk with Louis openly added onto those fears. They were already having problems because of what their closet put them through, so imagine Harry thinking it would be worse with a gender crisis. That's why he tells himself in the mirror "you're a fool, you're back at it again". It becomes a cycle of hurt once again as long as they don't talk. (4)

So now as this essay comes to an end, someone might ask "well who is to blame for their problems?". Let us not forget the real villain of the story: homophobia. The closet due to this gave them their biggest problems, and we can't even begin to cover what the homophobic world has done to gays mental health. Also Simon Cowell can burn. Now as for Harry and Louis? I think they both realized how bad their communication was and were able to solve it with each other. Louis tried to keep them happy in their closet by not talking about their problems caused by it, and while it was with good intentions, it ended up leaving Harry alone to deal with his gender identity. Harry's gender journey ended up (to no one's surprise) being fully supported by Louis once he knew, and it ended up making their relationship stronger. I believe Lights Up was born right after this, with the themes of "never going back" and the questions of "do you know who you are?" recurring about identity and feeling joy about finding yourself. It fills me with joy to know that Harry has a partner in Louis that loves him truly and was able to give him so much support over the years (that is obviously reciprocal you heathen rads). I truly believe Harry wouldn't be here without Louis. They are it for each other and always have been. So thank you Louis Tomlinson for being the partner all of us trans folk would want in our lives someday. No wonder H is so much in love with you.

#i'll post my own interpretation of the song in another ask which doesn't go nearly as in depth as yours does here #so honestly it could be like... along the same lines but without so many words #but i absolutely love the way that you have put this much thought into this song #and that it has been tied into other songs by the both of them #there are interpretations within the interpretation I personally may not agree with or really put into consideration into #but yeah this is so well thought out and i think it'll definitely resonate with others #lovely lovely interpretation ❤️❤️❤️#anonymous #mensaje mensaje

279 notes · View notes

mushroom-shinobu · 3 years

Text

This Time | Tomioka Giyuu x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Description: Giyuu lost you in his past life, but he’s determined not to let you go this time.

Reader Gender: Gender Neutral

Warnings: SPOILERS!!! (Spoilers from the KNY manga), Mentions of violence, death, cussing

Universe: Canon-verse (Although non-canon events occur) Also reincarnation AU (When you meet your soulmate from your past life, you regain some of your memories with them)

Requests: Open!!!

Author’s note: I just realized that the concept I tried to do is confusing- So basically, if you get reincarnated and meet your soulmate from your past life, you regain some of the memories you guys had with each other.

Giyuu had always been in love with you. After meeting you, he immediately became a victim to the hands of love. Your smile, your laugh, your personality, just everything about you was amazing to him.

He always felt a sense of euphoria when he was around you, and he always found his mind wandering back to you when the two of you were apart.

“I love them?” Giyuu asked, turning to face his fellow pillars Mitsuri and Tengen.

“I mean, from what you’ve said about them...” Mitsuri took a second to swallow the dango she was eating. “Yes, it really does seem like you’re in love with them!”

“Are you sure about that? Me being in love with...” Giyuu turned towards your direction.

Giyuu’s gaze softened when his eyes landed on your smiling face. You had been picking random cloves from the grass, and had finally found a four leaf clover, which excited you.

“Man! Look at the way you’re looking at them too!” Tengen groaned, rubbing his head. “And you say you’re not in love with them. Obvious bullshit.”

Mitsuri just giggled while Giyuu looked a Tengen, astounded.

“In love...?” Giyuu asked, raising a hand to his own blushing cheeks.

He always knew that he felt a special feeling around them, but love? Was it really that?

“I mean, if aren’t gonna believe us, it’s ok,” Tengen said, giving Giyuu a small smirk. “But we’re just saying that you most likely are in love with Y/N.”

Tengen got up from the bench he was sitting on, and waved at Giyuu.

“I gotta get going now, so bye.”

“You’ll be able to figure out those feelings Giyuu!” Mitsuri said, giving him a smile before following Tengen, leaving a confused Giyuu and his thoughts behind at the dango store.

Giyuu then glanced at you again, only to have his gaze met by yours, which startled him. You smiled before running towards Giyuu.

“Giyuu! Hello!”

“Oh... Hi.”

“I saw you talking with Mitsuri and Tengen! What were you guys talking about?”

“O-oh, nothing,” Giyuu gave you a small smile, trying to brush off his awkwardness. “What were you doing?”

“Oh, I was looking for a four leaf clover! There’s a wish I have, and I’m hoping that the four leaf clover brings me enough luck to make it come true.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“It’s a secret! Just kidding, I’ll tell you. I’m hoping for my next quest to go well.”

“You’re an excellent demon slayer though, Y/N, and you’ve never seemed so nervous about a quest? Did something happen?”

“Ah, there’s this gut feeling I have that...” You looked at the ground for a second before regaining your eye contact with Giyuu. “That something bad is going to happen. But it should be fine! It’s probably just a dumb thought!”

Although you just laughed it off like it was nothing, Giyuu couldn’t help but become worried. What if something bad really did happen to you? What if you ended up getting heavily injured? What if you even died?

“Giyuu, I’ve got to get going, unfortunately. I have to set off for my mission,” You gave him a small smile before turning around. “Goodbye!”

“Wait!” Giyuu’s hand suddenly latched onto one of your hands, startling you.

“Hm? Is there something wrong?” You ask him.

“I...”

“You...?”

“U-uh, I... I hope your mission goes well.”

You give him a warm smile before saying, “Thank you. I must get going now. Goodbye!”

He watched your figure disappear more and more into the distance. He couldn’t help but feel more and more anxious as you got farther and farther away. He now couldn’t shake the feeling that he too, feels like something bad is going to happen to you.

And something did happen.

“Y/N is dead, Giyuu.” Tanjiro said, showing up at the doorsteps of Giyuu’s mansion.

“Wh-what?”

“They’re dead...” He managed to choke out.

So it really was true. Giyuu had heard about it from his crow moments ago, but he refused to believe it. He thought it was some sort of mix-up, and that you weren’t truly dead.

“I’m s-so sorry,” Tanjiro choked out, tears falling from his eyes. “I wasn’t able to protect them. This is all my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself Tanjiro,” Giyuu patted Tanjiro’s back lightly. “Y/N wouldn’t have wanted you to.”

Tanjiro managed to look at Giyuu one more time, trying to give him a small smile before he left Giyuu’s mansion.

As soon as Tanjiro left, Giyuu immediately shut the door and broke down on the floor.

Why?

Why didn’t he tell you that he loved you that day?

Why was he such a coward?

Negative and regretful thoughts clouded Giyuu’s head as he continued to sob about your passing.

He never got to tell you how much he loved your smile, your hair, just everything about you. He would never be able to express his feelings for you because you were gone.

There wasn’t a single day after that where Giyuu didn’t regret not expressing his feelings for you. Every single day, he always wondered if anything would’ve been different if he had just told you his feelings for you, or if he had stopped you from going on that mission.

He even thought about that until his last breath.

Giyuu was sent on a mission to exterminate a group of demons, nothing that was supposed to be too hard for him. However, there wasn’t supposed to be an upper-rank moon there. He had tried to kill it, but it had overpowered him and sent him to his death.

As Giyuu laid on the ground with a large wound stretching from his chest to his stomach, his mind wandered back to those unsaid words.

“Please...” Giyuu whispered, his eyesight getting hazier and hazier with every passing second. “Please let me tell Y/N that I love them in my next life.”

And with that, Giyuu had taken his last breath.

Time skip... (After all the demons were slain)

Giyuu waddled out of the bakery happily with his freshly baked raisin bread. He had always loved the Kamado Bakery’s raisin bread, and always woke up at 6:30 on Saturdays to get the freshly baked ones.

Giyuu sat on a park bench and started munching on one of the loaves of raisin bread. He smiled to himself.

“Nothing beats the raisin bread at the Kamado bakery.” He said quietly, taking another bite of the bread.

“Actually, I’d personally have to disagree with that.”

Giyuu turned towards the side of him to find a figure leaning on a tree, observing Giyuu.

“Who even are you?”

“Oh, I’m Y/N! Sorry for interrupting your eating time! I just wanted to say that I think their yakisoba bread is better. I mean have you tried that stuff? It’s so freaki-”

At that moment, you and Giyuu both felt a painful throb in your heads, and memories came rushing back to you both. Memories of your past life as demon slayers.

“Giyuu?! Wait, you- you’re...” You paused for a second, before exclaiming. “You’re Tomioka Giyuu?!”

Giyuu didn’t say anything, he just simply pulled you in for a hug, not caring if he had dropped his raisin bread.

“I missed you so much Y/N...” Giyuu muttered, his head buried into your shoulder. “And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t tell you this earlier.”

“Tell me what earlier?”

“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t tell you that I loved you...” Giyuu drew his head back and looked you in the eye, giving you a small smile. “So I’ll tell you now. I’ve loved you ever since we both joined the corps together, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you I loved you that day. If I could go back to tell you, I would. But since I can’t, I’ll tell you now. This time, I won’t chicken out like last time. Y/N, I have always loved you, and I always will.”

285 notes · View notes