#✧ ′ this town should be called the town of death ⦗ riverdale ⦙ season three ⦘

[malereader-inserts]

The Night We Met

Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Jughead Jones x Male!Reader Summary: There’s too much pain in his heart, he really wish it will go away soon. Word Count: 1,575 Request:  I. Need. ANGST! (Please feed me some angst 🥺) Warning: Suicide, depression A/n: I would love more angst prompts.

Riverdale is a small place, it’s a town where everyone knows everyone. 

Death is common, it’s heartbreaking, but somehow it’s always more saddening when it’s a young person, just because they had so much life to experience. Riverdale is a quiet town, really, but it was only loud because of one young lad. 

Jughead Jones was very fond of this person.

You weren’t too bright that people hated to look your way, you were too good for this world. But, you were real. There wasn’t negativity in your body other than your outlook in life, you were so kind that the elderly always see you and offering your time to help them. You would help struggling students with subjects, you were an inspiration to Jughead’s side project - to tell the perfect story of you. 

See, you were a soft boy. The boy who wore round glasses, oversized sweaters and baggy jeans. Sometimes, you would wear your overalls with your long shirt underneath and converse to match. You weren’t afraid to express yourself, you were too good for this world because nothing should harm you.

So, how can this happy boy kill himself?

The town mourns because this shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

The kid, you, you were supposed to go - be free. You were supposed to leave Riverdale, make it big in the big city. Make friends, make a family, expand your horizons. 

You’re just a boy.

It hurts so much, to think, to feel. 

Jughead hated it, your story was supposed to be making it far and yet it was ending abruptly. Jughead remembers the night you met him, it was just you and him in Pop’s diner. The neon lights illuminating your face, Jughead cannot help but feel threatened by your looks.

You sat across him, sipping a cold beverage. One leg up on the booth and your arms leaning against your knee. Jughead remembers vividly the rings you hand on your fingers, the chains around your neck - the dull brown striped sweater that seems to contrast the white collar from a shirt under it. 

You two seem to hit it off that night, you were laughing at each other’s jokes, the occasional flirty remark, exchanging numbers and kept “running into each other at pop’s late at night when it’s just you and him.

“I want to write a book about you, (Y/n),” Jughead says, as you looked at him curiously, “You’re interesting.”

“Far from it, Jughead.”

He stood by your side most of the time, somehow you two formed a relationship - it was so unlikely, but it was right. Two boys just in love with each other, they see nothing but each other. Jughead adores the book he has written about you, there’s a load of wisdom sprouted from your mouth. 

“People tend to forget to tell each other how much they love or miss you or need you, and even if they do remember, sometimes they're just too shy, too scared, too certain it's the wrong thing to say or the wrong timing. But it's not. It never is. Say it before it's too late. For all we know, it could all be different tomorrow.”

“It really could.”

“I could die tomorrow, and I know there will be a lot of unsaid things in the air. There will be regret.”

Jughead looks at you, “Are you okay?”

You shrugged your shoulder, there was a faint smile on your face, “I haven’t been okay for a long time,” There was a beat silence as you laugh, “I’m just kidding, Jug, I’m okay.”

Jughead wishes he didn’t believe it - but foolishly, he did.

Life continues, he recalls how happy you were, there was nothing in life that could go wrong for you. And yet, you let out your deepest feelings in the late night meet up at Pop’s.

“You know,” You sighed, leaning your head back against the window, “I’m tired of feeling-”

“Huh?”

“I’m so done with life, this life I mean. Reincarnate me to another lifetime like two hundred years from now, maybe it’ll be better.”

“That is if climate change hasn’t taken us already,” Jughead say as you chuckle softly, “Maybe we’ll have robots.”

“Maybe, they’ll lower the age of drinking.”

There you go, joking again, as if you haven’t accidentally got to deep in your feelings. Jughead remembers how you were, and now he cringes. It’s all there, the signs of calling for help - right in front of him. And, he brushed it off because he thinks you’re joking.

Jughead remembers.

It hurts.

He had all, and then most of you. Some and now none of you.

He remembers how you started to drift away from him. The meetings late night started to be rare until you stopped showing up. The smile was there but it looked sort of faded. You weren’t by side as much until you were avoiding him, telling him that you were busy. 

You died.

You killed yourself.

You were at peace now. 

“Please...”

The wind rustles the nearby trees, it’s not cold out. In fact, the breeze was comforting in the warm day, summer was ending and autumn was starting to come about. Autumn had always been your favourite season, it was the season for staying in and the cold weather starting to nip at your nose. It’s an excuse to wear jumpers and have hot coffee.

“Please, take me back to the night we met.”

Jughead trembles, he’s on his knees as he stares at your headstone. It’s clean and fresh among those that have been forgotten over the years. Jughead doesn’t think a slab of stone fits you well, it’s just not you.

Your life could never be marked by a gravestone, something so cold and immobile. Perhaps a tree with a wind-chime in the branches could do you more justice, or a simple song sung into the wind. What lies in the ground is only flesh and blood, that's never what you were. 

You were quite honestly the most beautiful spirit Jughead has ever known. he prays that you soar with the eagles on lofty breezes and swim in oceans deep; he prays that you know the freedom this life could never give you, yet most of all he prays that when his time comes it is you that takes him by the hand and you go onwards to better times together.

There are flowers for you, some that were there since you were buried, some that were new. But, your grave was never short of flowers. 

“I would have done anything for them-”

“-Except save them,” Archie says behind him.

A reared as if he had been slapped. Jughead swallowed hard, eyes wide and startled before their gaze shuttered. “You have no fucking idea,” He whips around to tackle the redhead, “You don’t know (Y/n), you don’t know him like I know him. Don’t think for one second I wouldn’t have tried.”

“Juggie,” FP says softly, grabbing the boy by his shoulders, “(Y/n) wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“I’m sorry,” Archie whispered, he knows he overstepped the line - it’s a shock really, your death was sudden.

“I failed him,” Jughead says, it’s a struggle for him because he’s holding back tears, “I keep seeing his face and I can’t help think I’ve failed him.”

Guilt, too much of it. 

Regret, and you were right - there are a lot of unsaid things in the air and he regrets not telling you.

“I love him.”

“He loves you too,” FP says, making Jughead look him in the eyes, “There is not a bone in (Y/n) that tells you, you were ever at fault - okay? He doesn’t want you to blame yourself.”

Going home was an empty feeling in Jughead, FP knows it will take a while for Jughead to bounce back to himself. School seems to empty without you, there isn’t someone there to wait for him at his locker; instead, there’s candles and flowers at yours. Jughead goes to sleep with the papers of your unfinished story, he goes to sleep in your sweaters.

He keeps a picture of you, always on himself. One night he stares at you, it’s been two weeks since you were buried. Your relationship with him hadn’t lasted long, three months - not once he had uttered the three words as you did to him.

“I love you,” Jughead whispers to the picture of you.

“Why didn’t you tell me that when I was alive?” Your voice questions him, he knows you’re not there, but can’t help himself to imagine you by his side.

“I was scared.”

There was silence, “Yeah, I know that feeling.”

He can’t imagine how terrified you were, in your last moments of breathing. He doesn’t want to imagine it, yet sometimes it keeps him up at night. 

“Make my story ending a good one, will you?” Your voice says, there’s a tone of happiness for a second.

“I don’t know how to end it,” Jughead admits, “It wasn’t supposed to end so soon.”

“Tell them I was brave for finding peace,” Your voice softly begs, “Please, that’s how I want it to end.”

Jughead stays silent before nodding to himself; he knows he’ll be haunted by the ghost of you. But, that’s a request he can do for you - your one last wish.

“Okay,” He whispers.

Maybe, just maybe, you found peace in his word.

[featherwriterweather]

The speakeasy “Le bonne nuit” Riverdale season 3/smut

It was hot autumnal night. It felt more like a summer. The night breeze was whispering tales of the teenage love that was experienced in the past months. We all had our summer flings. Some of them blossomed into relationships, others had to stay hidden because of love that was said to be unfit or unworthy in front of the messed up society of the small town of Riverdale that we called home. 

That night was much different then the rest of the nights we had ever since the new school year had started. Our friends, our brothers, all of which Serpents, had gathered in the tent park to discuss a matter that couldn’t be kept in the waiting. The Goolies were back and, as far as we knew, their leader, the former Serpent, or more like a black mamba as I liked to call her, Penny Peabody, were back in town and they wanted the taste of fresh blood. Their strings were pulled by the much higher standing persona of the man in black. And, as Ronnie had infromed us, this man was her father, the one and only Hiram Lodge.

I was an honorary Serpent and I still didn’t have my jacket on my back, but as the night was getting older and so was my bravery. I was sitting on the ground, near the fire, next to Tony and Cheryl. Sweet pea and Fangs were pressing their bags to the nearest tree. Fp was pacing back and forth in front of the fire, while Jug was sitting in his throne, an old chair with crown drawn on its leather, and his queen,Betty, who was also my editor in the Blue and Gold, was standing right by his side.

“We gotta do something, man. We can’t just let them go round our land free. If they want blood, we should give them some.” Sweet pea said as he pushed himself off the tree. His face was death serious, something I wasn’t used to see, at least not when we were alone. Nobody knew that him and I had a secret. After my parents fled on me during riot night, Tony had offered me shelter with the Serpents. Every single night since then, when I was feeling down, scared or had a nightmare, I would go to Sweet pea’s trailer and I would stay the night with him. At first, nothing really was happening between us. But the more I was seeking the comfort of his warm bed, the more we wanted to push it forward. And so during the last days of summer, after Josy ditched him, we finally laid the cards down and did it. We’ve been hooking up for quite some time but decided to keep it down low so it was only between me and him. But the others got a little suspicious of his protectivness over me, which found its way to the surface again that night. 

As he was talking to Jug, going on how we should defend our last piece of land, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around me so I was warm. He prefered to be cold but to keep me warm. That act alone, of having his Serpent jacket on my back, gave me the voice I’ve been trying to find all along.

“No, Sweet pea! We will not attack first. That will give them a reason to kill us all. We have to get more information. If Hiram is helping them, we have to get into his deepest deals to get the game. Then we will attack and free ourselves once and for all of them.” Jug said while tapping with his leg nervously on the ground.

“That’s a very good idea, Jug. There is only one problem. My father never speaks to any of us about that. So we have to go to the people he trusts to get what we need.” Ronnie declared standing behind Jug. Nobody had seen her come to us but she was our strongest ally so we were happy whenever she could offer us a good piece of information.

“What do you have in mind, V?” Betty asked. She had that gift inside herself to read people’s mind just by looking into their eyes. Whenever an idea was forming in our head, she knew we were up to something. I wonder how she haven’t found out about me and Sweet pea yet.

“All I am saying is that his gorillas, Leo, James and whatever the hell were the names of the other, know more than I would ever know.”

“That’s easy. We will get them, fix up their faces and they will sing like birds.” Fangs said from his place next to the tree.

“Not everything is solved with fists, Fangs.” Fp blurted out with his nervous voice looking straight into Fangs as he was trying to tame a little tiger with the power of his eyesight.

“That’s at least an idea, Fangs. But these neanderthals don’t go anywhere without daddy. We would have to think of something else.” she answered him never cheating to her habit of gesturing with her hands.

“Don’t we forget something here, guys?” I said. All of a sudden everyone turned to me. “ They are men before everything else. And what usually makes a man go crazy and spill everything? Think about it.”

“A woman ready to play. I like how you’re thinking. If we could get those idiots drunk and hard, they will tell us all.” Tony finished for me beaming with pride at my idea.

“No! I am not putting you in danger. All of you. We would figure it all out.” Jug said shaking his head.

“Don’t shut us down just that quick, Jug. We are women, we know how to lure men into doing what we want.” Betty took the initiative. “I would go with my girls as a true queen, to help V please her dad and his gorillas. Meanwhile, you and the boys will be inside as security guards. The moment we get them to leave the Speakeasy, you can handle them as you want to. It’s a plan worth trying.”

“I am in. I got just the dress for that.” I said.

“No, Y/N! I am not keen on the idea of using our women for target.’‘ I was surprised by the sudden outburst of Sweet pea but I knew he was saying it because this plan involved me.

“It’s a good plan! We’ll do it. Tomorrow night. Veronica will invite her dad for a casual talk while the girls take care of the bodyguards as we are there to secure the Speakeasy.” Jug said approvingly.

The same night I went into Sweet pea’s trailer again. I knew he wasn’t happy for the plan but it was our best shot.

“Hey, Pea! Would you let me stay the night again?”

“You’re always welcome!” he said openning the sheets of his bed for me. “But I don’t know how I feel about the seduction thing you came up with. I don’t want to look how some asshole will touch you and look at you as you are an item he can claim”

“You don’t have a say here, Pea. I want to deserve my jacket and I think the idea is damn good. And you would be there to keep an eye on me and the gorilla. But I can do my best to assure you that it’s just work and nothing more to me.” I said as I kissed him and got on top of him. 

Slowly I started moving all the while kissing him. I pulled away from him and took off my shirt. He was always in the mood for a middle of the night fun. His hand were tracing paths between my hips and my buttcheeks. He was squeezing tightly at the skin, kissing me with all the passion he got. I could feel how hard he was underneath me. In one swift motion he turned us over so now he was on top of me. I took the hem of his shirt in my fingers and lifted it towards his head. He took it off himself to easy me. Next his pants and boxers followed as well as my own bottom and lacy underwear. He trailed kissed down my neck and colar bone, slowly kissing his way down south to the place that craved him the most. I was already wet and he knew it well enought. 

His kisses and touches sent chills through my whole body. Kissing all his way to my very core, he started drawing circles with his tongue. I buried my hands in his hair and left myself be completely absorbed in the sensation of him eating me out. It was something I loved to be given and he was giving it to me everytime. His hands found their way to my breast, squeezing them, claiming that they were made for his touch. My body was waving on its own under the sweet pressure of the extasy that was builing in me.

Soon enough he kissed his way back up and I felt a pure bliss when he entered me in one painfully slow but extremely good motion. He started moving slowly at first, kissing my neck. With each moan he was picking up the pace, making me go completely lost under his touch.

“You’re a mess right now, babe. So wet for me and so tight. Do you know how hard that makes me? How crazy I am about every part of you?” he hissed in my ear, biting it softly

“Dammit, Pea! You’re gonna make me scream if you continue to talk to me like that. And I am not sure I want to muffle this scream.”

“Scream for me, baby. I want to make you scream. You’re going to let go! So soon!” he was feeling how close I was. My walls were tightening agains him. I simply nodded and gave myself fully to the sensation of riding out my orgasm. 

I knew he wasn’t finished yet, so I pushed him on his back and got to business.Just like he did, I kissed my way down to his still hard dick and slowly licked it all up from the core to the head. His deep moan made me go wet all over again. I took it deep into my mouth, giving him a firm stroke as I was sucking it. He hands got a hold of my hair making me go a little faster. His deep voice moans were making me eager to go faster and faster untill I felt him twich and realese the tention in my hand.  His smile said it all to me as I went up to kiss his lips and then rest my head on his shoulder.

The morning came and so did the night. We all got dressed in our sexiest dresses and went to the Speakeasy waiting for Hiram to arrive with his gorillas for the casual talk with his daughter. The boys, who were all wearing black, stood by the bar playing their role of security guards for the night.

“Daddy, welcome!” Ronnie said as her dad walked inside.

“Mija, you wanted to talk to me, so here I am.” He said sitting at one of the tables.

“Let my girls take care of your fellas here, daddy, while we have some quility father-daughter time.” she said as she waved at us.

“Let’s do this girls!” Tony said as we all finished our drinks and went to the gorillas. They were three and so were we. Betty, Tony and I went up to them and sat in their laps. I could sense how mad Jug and Sweet pea were just by this sight. We started talking, whispering sweet nothings in their ears as we were handing them drink after drink after drink. Leo, the one that I took, was moving his hand up and down my leg that was peeking through the slit of the dress. I looked behind his shoulder and saw how Sweet pea squeezed his hand into a fist and slammed in on the bar. Jug put his hand on his chest and said word for I am pretty sure was “Not now, give them some more time!”

Soon the alcohol did its magic. The tree almost middle aged gorillas Hiram had hired were completely under our spell. All three of us stood up and took them by the hand taking them towards the back room with smile on our faces all the while biting our lips knowing that in a few second the boys would take care of them.

We took them back without Hiram seeing anything. Ronnie was doing amazing job at keeping him distracted.The boys slipped into the back room after us while Reggie and Pops were holding the forth at the bar. 

“Ladies, you can step aside. We advice you not to see what will happen next.” Jug said telling us to leave.

“No, we’re staying. My girls and I want to see these scumbags singing like lovebirds.” Betty said with a certain dark beam in her eyes. We moved to the side of the room and waited the Serpents to work their own kind of magic to make them talk and spill all about Hiram’s plans with the Goolies and the drug dealing.

“Sweet pea, do you wanna show this one here how to act around a lady?” Jug said.

“My pleasure, Jones!” He said as he arched up his back and slammed his right fist in Leo’s face so hard that it broke his nose. “This is for touching my girl! Now let’s talk business. Speak! What has Hiram with the Goolies?”

I was weirdly proud of his eagerness to protect me, that he called me his girl and of his honor. But also I was a little scared of his force and thirst for punishing these scancs.

Not long after the first fists, all three of Hiram’s gorillas started singing all the information we need. We pulled it off as an incident of some drugged men trying to take us away from the gorillas. Hiram acted like he didn’t suspect anything and called them idiots. “You can’t even hold one teenage girl for the night without getting into a fight. Why did I even hire you? Let’s go! We’re done here, Mija! When you have a better deal, call me!”

“Oh, I will, daddy! I’ll make sure.” Ronnie said as she turned to us smiling. Our job for the night was done. Once more we proved that teenagers and especially the Serpents can trick the big bad men in black without them even noticing. But little did we know that the war between father and daughter had just begun.

[salvatcrechilda]

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 3)

part 1

part 2

first, i have to start this description of the first season by begging you to stay with me for all 3 seasons; the first season is hilariously quaint in hindsight to whatever the fuck i just watched in season 3. the first season does deal with some weirdly heavy subjects for a comic that was at one point about getting a malt down at the shop with your best girl (for example, a plot point in season 1 is a predatory teacher/student relationship) but the third season is freaked out on pcp comparatively. the descent into madness this show demonstrates as time goes on should act as a warning to all who desire to write fanfiction: there but for the grace of god goes YOU.

anyway, my approach to doing this is that i will describe each episode of the season briefly. in some episodes, nothing of major consequence happens. in some, i will describe interactions i found especially bizarre or accidentally funny or iconic. you may want to keep the list of characters handy but i will try to explain the new, incidental ones as they pop up.

an odd side note: you will notice many of the episode titles are taken from movie titles. “riverdale” LOVES making references to movies. i mean hell, so do i, but you will notice some of the references are............on the nose.

images are from the riverdale wiki

SEASON ONE (PART 1):

the river’s edge: jughead, as the series narrator, describes a july 4th boating incident that led to the death of jason blossom, cheryl’s twin brother. cheryl is found by some off-brand boy scouts on the riverbank looking like a fabulous drowned rat. when the town comes to gawk at the spectacle, betty’s mother is hella pumped at the idea of jason being dead because he broke up with betty’s sister, polly (betty’s mom is later revealed to be prejudiced against all redheads, including archie). jason’s body is not recovered.

veronica and her mother arrive at riverdale to stay in a 5 star hotel that inexplicably exists in this podunk little shithole of a town. they discuss her father’s recent arrest for various financial crimes and decide to get a burger. betty, across town, is thinking the same thing...but love is on her mind...

betty wants to confess her feelings to archie, who she watches dress from the house next door. he is huge and beefy, having worked on his dad’s construction site during the summer. betty on the other hand, organized a toni morrison release party (?!), which she describes to archie as they catch up over a burger. archie wants to make music now. music is the ONLY thing that gives his life meaning (spoilers: he only feels this way for about half a season), except for football. betty is about to confess her feelings but veronica busts the door open and ruins everything.

there is an insane scene here where veronica meets kevin at school the next day and “concludes” he’s gay using her powers of deduction and also the fact that he talked to her about a gay bar in town (i cannot believe the riverdale gay bar has never come up again wtf). based on this information alone, she wants to be best friends. great stuff.

archie tries to join the pussycats and they tell him to fuck right off. josie gets a weird monologue about her cat ears. archie makes weird eye contact with the music teacher at riverdale high, ms. grundy (who is like 22 years old and hot now, instead of ancient and withered), who is revealed to have had a VERY uncomfortable sexual relationship with him. the visual coding of the flashback scene is bananas; she’s wearing the heart-shaped pink “lolita” glasses from the kubrick movie. 

through a flashback scene, it is revealed that one of archie and grundy’s sexual trysts that took place on the date and location jason died was interrupted by a gunshot. meanwhile, betty and veronica gay kiss to try to get on the cheerleading team but cheryl is unimpressed, commenting that it is SO 1990s. nevertheless, they make the team.

at the semi-formal, betty confesses to archie, who reacts like she handed him a dead fish wrapped in newspaper. cheryl thinks this is hella funny and sets up a scenario at her after party that gets veronica and archie together for a round of “7 minutes in heaven”. betty flees. jughead writes his novel in pop tate’s chocklit shoppe. kevin and moose (a closeted football player) try to fuck down by the murder river but the mood is ruined by jason’s body floating to the shore.

OKAY that’s the longest one. we had to establish a bunch of shit. stick with me now.

a touch of evil: archie confronts grundy about the gunshot they heard, now that it is certain that jason was killed by a gunshot to the head. betty and archie make up and become friends again, beginning the cycle of riverdale drama that wraps itself up in less than 12 hours. cheryl uses the school p.a. system to demand the killer reveal himself so they can put him in the chair. alice cooper pays off the mortician for information about jason’s corpse so she can run an expose about the murder in the front page of the local newspaper. jughead witnesses archie sharing a way too intimate hug with grundy. veronica’s mom works at pop tate’s and meets archie for the first time at work, commenting on how handsome he is, like his father. archie andrews is certified milf-bait for whatever reason.

betty invites cheryl to her house for mani-pedis to spite veronica. cheryl uses the opportunity to accuse betty’s sister of killing jason. betty responds by telling cheryl to get out or she’ll fucking kill her. normal stuff. meanwhile, jughead confronts archie about grundy and finds out pretty much everything, from the inappropriate relationship to the gunshot. he urges archie to go to the cops but archie won’t do it because *~what he and grundy has is sPeCiAl~*. jughead tells archie he’s a fucking idiot and brushes off archie’s attempts to threaten him.

betty asks about her sister, who is revealed to be in a mental hospital in a catatonic state as a result of the relationship breakdown between her and jason.

jughead gets brutally owned by jocks who call him “donnie darko” and “suicide squad” while implying he fucked jason’s corpse. archie defends jughead and they make up right before the pep rally. the heartless bastards at riverdale high inexplicably gave archie jason’s football jersey instead of retiring it and cheryl has a real meltdown about her brother’s death, fleeing into the girl’s locker room to sob her heart out. she confesses to veronica, the only person who goes to comfort her, that jason was supposed to come back.

the next day, the cops arrest cheryl in the middle of class and handcuff her. it turns out jason didn’t die july 4th, but a week after.

body double: despite confessing to being guilty at the end of the last ep, cheryl starts this ep by saying “let me clarify what i meant by guilty” which is the first of many times riverdale immediately recons its own writing for no apparent reason. cheryl confesses she lied about what happened the day of his disappearance; they weren’t simply having a little boat ride, but trying to facilitate jason’s escape to a farm away from the clutches of his family. he was supposed to contact cheryl once he got somewhere safe, but he didn’t. meanwhile, betty’s mom apparently didn’t get the “not guilty” memo and publishes a sensational article about jason accusing cheryl of being the murderer. through this, it is revealed to the audience that betty’s mom and dad own and operate the local newspaper. just them. no one else. cool.

archie finally tells the sheriff about the gunshot but lies about grundy’s existence. kevin comments offhandedly that everyone should re-watch “making a murderer” on netflix, making this what i think is the first plug of an irl property/brand in the show. from here on out they get more brazen and batshit. veronica reveals she has a date with the football coach’s son, chuck clayton, but everyone warns her he’s a player. betty re-opens the school newspaper to compete with her parents and get the REAL story out. she hires jughead to interview the kids who found cheryl the day jason disappeared.

okay, dear readers, please listen to me attempt to explain the next part of this episode. veronica goes on a chaste date with chuck which ends in some light making out. the next day, it is all over social media that chuck gave her a “sticky maple” which is, as far as i can tell, some maple syrup photoshopped onto a photo of her to replicate cum. this is impossible to explain via text, so please look at this helpful screencap.

the theme of this episode suddenly sidewinds from “we must solve jasons murder” to “we must avenge veronica being slut-shamed”. they consider going to the authorities briefly but decide to storm into the boys locker room which accomplishes nothing. this story line is briefly put on hold so jughead can unsuccessfully interview some not-boy scouts and cheryl can repay archie’s attempt to clear her name by setting him up with music lessons from josie and the pussycats.

ethel muggs, a slightly more unpopular and more dowdy girl who pops up from time to time in the plot over the course of the three seasons, reveals that she is one of chuck’s victims too. she tells of a “playbook” kept by chuck that details sex acts the football team engages in (presumably with girls and not each other). 

jughead successfully squeezes a not-boy scout into revealing that the scoutmaster (who is like a 15 year old boy) fired the shot everyone heard at the river, but he was just practicing on targets he set up. the scoutmaster is a hardcore survivalist (a fact that becomes vital in later seasons). so ultimately the gunshot meant nothing.

archie offers to write songs for the pussycats and josie tells him to shut the fuck up, white boy.

kevin, betty, veronica and ethel break into the school after hours to find the playbook. cheryl inexplicably shows up wearing red thigh high boots to help them. no one except for me, the audience, is excited about this development. the book they find reveals that jason had a sexual relationship with betty’s sister, implying a sort of pump and dump situation between the two. betty goes apeshit and pledges revenge against chuck.

okay. just. stay with me now.

betty puts on red lipstick and somehow successfully convinces chuck to have sex with her at ethel’s house while ethel and her parents are out of town. when chuck arrives, veronica is there, claiming that she and betty want to “share” chuck. i cannot believe he falls for this for real. betty then comes out wearing a uma thurman “pulp fiction” wig and lingerie.

betty then roofies chuck, who wakes up handcuffed to the hot tub. while veronica records the scene, betty threatens to boil him alive in the hot tub and waterboards him with maple syrup unless he confesses to his crimes, the crimes of jason and for “destroying her”. after torturing him for an uncomfortable amount of time, they take their evidence to the principal. why they didn’t just do this in the first place i’ll never know. anyway chuck leaves the school and cheryl says, out loud, “#justiceforethel”. 

meanwhile, archie gets a soundproof place in the garage to practice his music after spending the episode arguing with his dad. dilton doiley, the scoutmaster, tells jughead and betty he saw grundy’s car at the river the day of jason disappearance. episode END.

this turned out to be so much longer than i thought it would be, so i’m splitting it here. these are so long im sorry. god bless you and im sorry you had to read this. we still have like 10 eps left. i didnt know it would be like this but i need you to understand and believe how insane this series is.

thanks for readin

[amandajoyce118]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season One Easter Eggs And References

I so greatly enjoyed Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina, and I’m really interested to see what they do in season two, which is almost done filming. I still maintain that this show is like if Riverdale and Supernatural had a baby. It’s definitely creepy and not for everyone, but I found it fascinating.

I’ve got Easter eggs galore, though I didn’t go through and explain who every comic book character is like I would normally do with a superhero show. And yes, the Netflix series is based on the 2014 Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comic, which in turn was named after another comic from decades earlier. Sabrina Spellman is an Archie Comics character, but it’s not clear if her show is set in the same universe as Riverdale or not.

There are spoilers here, but as usual, I’ve broken this list down episode by episode for those who want to read while they watch. Enjoy.

S1E01 “Chapter One: October Country”

Opening Credits

The opening credits feature the artwork of Robert Hack. Hack is the artist who actually illustrated The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comic book. A lot of his art inspires the look of the show as well.

The Episode Title

October Country gets its name from a collection of stories by Ray Bradbury. They were all considered pretty dark, and the volume mostly reprinted stories included in a different anthology, only adding a few new pieces, king of like this show.

The Very 70s Aesthetic

The show kind of has a weird timewarp thing going on like sister series Riverdale. There’s a lot of cars, furniture, and even clothing that seem to be inspired by the 1970s. That’s likely because Sabrina made her comic book debut in the 70s. It’s a way to give an homage to the original books as well as the newer series the show adapts.

Cerberus Books

Cerberus was a three headed dog who guarded the gate to the underworld in Greek mythology. We’ll discuss him more in a later episode.

Dr. Saperstein

My guess is that someone on staff is a Parks and Rec fan. This is Jean-Ralphio’s surname, and his father, was, in fact, a doctor. Of course, it’s also the name of the doctor in Rosemary’s Baby, so… pick your reference.

Sabrina’s Thermos

You’ll notice some characters on Sabrina’s thermos. Those happen to be a musical group named The Archies. Yep, they’re Archie and the gang from Riverdale, which does make you wonder if the two shows are in the same universe or if one is the fictional version of the other or what.

Sabrina Makes Harvey Forget

She does it with a kiss here, but in the 90s television sitcom, she made him forget she was a witch a lot of times. This made me wonder if she might have to do it a few more times over the course of this series, or if the next time he finds out, it sticks.

Her Parents Were Flying To Italy

This is an awfully interesting destination. Why? Because what’s in Italy? That would be Rome and the Vatican, home of the Catholic Church, which is interesting in and of itself. It’s both a very romantic and a very religious destination for a witch and a mortal to be traveling to. It also happens to be where the first Sabrina The Teenage Witch movie was set, if I remember right.

The Weird Sisters

These three get their nickname from the trio of witches in Shakespeare’s MacBeth. There’s a lot of Shakespeare references throughout the show, but I think that’s really just because writers like their Shakespeare.

Salem

The show’s take on Salem is interesting. In the Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina comic, he was Sabrina’s familiar, but that’s not became he was a goblin. Instead, he was cursed by a witch in Salem to become a cat. He was a mortal man named Samuel who got her pregnant and, because he had nothing to offer her, he didn’t want her to have to marry him. She took offense, Satan ate their kid and she cursed him to become her familiar. When she died in the witch trials, Satan renamed him Salem as a nod to what happened.

The 90s sitcom had Salem as a warlock who was cursed to cat form by the witches council after committing a crime. It seems like Ambrose on house arrest is filling that role this time around.

S1E02 “Chapter Two: The Dark Baptism”

“...a movie star like cousin Montgomery.”

I like the idea that this is a nod to Elizabeth Montgomery, the star of the series Bewitched, which followed a witch named Samantha who married a mortal. Samantha’s evil cousin on the show? Her name was Sabrina.

A Riverdale Mention

So, Riverdale is likely just across the river from Greendale here since we hear the town named.

Black Narcissus

The name of the goat snagged for Sabrina’s baptism is also the name of a 1947 film. There’s actually a ton of classic movie references, posters, etc in the show, just like in Riverdale. I probably won’t point them all out because this would be a list of nothing but movie references.

S1E03 “Chapter Three: The Trial Of Sabrina Spellman

“Conserve water. Plug it up, plug it up…”

This is a sign on the bathroom door in the high school It’s a nod to the horror movie Carrie, which was based on a book by Stephen King. The movie also inspired a musical episode of Riverdale in season two.

Daniel Webster

The lawyer is named after a character in a pretty famous short story about a farmer who sells his soul to the devil and is then defended by a talented lawyer.

Archie’s Madhouse

Another comic from the Archie world of comics. One of its covers is on the wall in Harvey’s room. He’s clearly a fan of many different types of comics.

Ravens VS Bulldogs

We get another nod to the fact that Riverdale exists. About half way into the episode, there’s a kid putting up a flyer for a bowling match between the Baxter High Ravens and the Riverdale High Bulldogs.

Dr. Specter

I just thought it was funny that an eye doctor has this name. It’s not really an Easter egg, just cute.

Side note: Ambrose asks Luke if he’s a vampire. So, I’m going to go with witches aren’t the only supernatural beings the show will eventually introduce. Vampires, werewolves, there is no limit to what I expect now.

S1E04 “Chapter Four: Witch Academy”

Gehenna Station

“Gehenna” is an old biblical term that means hell-like. I kind of think it’s fitting that the school is disguised as an old train station as well since a lot of artists imagine purgatory as a train station. Hell-like purgatory seems like a good training ground for witches.

Nick Scratch

Old Scratch is a common slang, or at least it used to be, for the devil. Here, I think it’s just a nod to the fact that Nick’s a warlock. (Also, Nicholas Scratch was the name of a Marvel villain once upon a time, but that’s a whole different publisher.)

Valac

One of the names seen in a book is that of Valac. I think fans of The Conjuring franchise will recognize it as a demon there. Another movie reference in this episode? The “light as a feather, stiff as a board” chant used by the harrowed kids. That’s courtesy of The Craft.

S1E05 “Chapter Five: Dreams In A Witch House”

Batibat

Her makeup looks pretty reminiscent of The Witches (movie based on a Roald Dahl book), but that’s actually all I’ve got for this episode. Unless we count Sabrina using the children’s string game Jacob’s Ladder as her way to get the spiders’ webs going, but I think that’s just a result of that particular game being a prevalent one in the 90s, and thus, amongst the writers.

S1E06 “Chapter Six: An Exorcism In Greendale”

Harvey As Johnny Depp

Harvey with his headphones on in the #10 tee? That’s am almost exact remake of a shot of Johnny Depp in A Nightmare On Elm Street. (Side note: I kind of feel like this shot should have been in the previous episode, the one that actually focused on nightmares.)

Apophis

Apophys is a death metal group. Apophis is the name of an asteroid, but also a derivation of the name of an Egyptian ruler, as well as an Egyption entity of chaos. Apep was drawn as a giant serpent and was an enemy of “the light.”

The Exorcist Homage

Okay, this episode really just plays as a loving homage to The Exorcist. There are so many shots that echo frames from the film. I’m not going to even attempt to list them all.

The Witches That Came Before

Okay, Sabrina calls on the power of a whole lot of historical figures as she names “witches” during her exorcism. My personal favorites? The goddesses Artemis and Luna, the queen Anne Boleyn, and the mythical first wife of Adam, Lilith. She also calls on Morgan Le Fay of the famous Arthurian legend. She actually appeared in an old Archie comic involving time travel called Jughead’s Time Police. Yeah, even Archie comics got weird back in the day.

Afterlife With Archie

This is the more supernatural version of the Archie comic book universe. Luke actually has a copy of an issue in his hands while he’s in Cerberus. It’s funny because this comic book storyline was created by Sabrina trying to bring Jughead’s dog back to life… we’ll call that foreshadowing for a future episode.

S1E07 “Chapter Seven: Feast of Feasts”

Grandpa Kinkle

TV fans might recognize Grandpa Kinkle as Michael Hogan. He’s been all over genre shows for decades. Most recently though, and where Sabrina’s target audience will know him from, he played a hunter on Teen Wolf. There, he came from a long line of werewolf hunters. Here, he’s from a long line of witch hunters. Coincidence? I have a feeling it’s not.

Ben

Poor, tragic pizza delivery boy. Okay, so the most recent season of Riverdale also featured a character named Ben. Specifically, Ben Button. Ben Button was played by Moses Thiessen. Guess who this Ben is played by? That would also be Moses Thiessen. And, guess what else? They both (spoiler alert for Riverdale fans who haven’t watched yet) died in weird ways. What does this mean? I have no idea.

Side note: The only witches in the coven who don’t seem to partake in the feast are Sabrina, Zelda, Nick, and surprisingly, Prudence. (And Hilda and Ambrose, but they aren’t invited) There’s a part of me that wonders if that will be significant in season two.

S1E08 “Chapter Eight: The Burial”

1693

Above the entrance to the mine, we see that the Kinkle’s took over, or created, the South Line in 1693. I’ll admit, my first thought was, oh, that’s when the Sanderson sisters originally died in Hocus Pocus. It’s also the year that the Salem Witch Trials took place, providing a nod to the history the show pulls from. The Von Kunkles hunted down witches and stole their land while the trials were going on in Salem, which also indirectly led to the hanging of the original Greendale witches. Yikes.

American Vampire: Lord of Nightmares

A comic book published by Vertigo, this happens to land on Harvey’s bedside table. Another vampire reference, eh? I hope we see one eventually.

S1E09 “Chapter Nine: The Returned Man”

Dr. Phibes

He’s named for a Vincent Price character. If you don’t know who Vincent Price was, he was pretty much the face of horror in American cinema for a while. Do yourself a favor and look him up.

Pop Culture Nods

I have no idea why someone who claims to be as dark as Zelda chooses a song from The Sound of Music for the Church of Night’s choir. Your guess is as good as mine. Susie tries to shoplift Orlando by Virginia Woolf. I’ve never read it, but it’s certainly the type of novel Susie, or even a witch in Greendale would be interested in. It follows a poet who changes sex (male to female) and lives for hundreds of years.

S1E10 “Chapter 10: The Witching Hour”

Mr. Loomis

This is likely a nod to the Halloween franchise, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that it was also the last name of Sidney’s boyfriend in Scream, but that was a nod to Halloween in and of itself.

Riverdale

Again, a Riverdale nod. Harvey’s dad had the funeral home in Riverdale take care of Tommy instead of the Spellman’s. But is it in the Riverdale we know on TV? Who knows?

“Let Greendale cast a spell on you…”

This is the town motto on the sign at the edge of town. (I’d like to point out the sign is designed just like the one of CW’s Riverdale, so nice consistency in set design there.) It’s cute, but I’m also wondering how the town got this motto since everyone seems bent on rewriting the towns witchy history.

Cerberus

The owner of Cerberus books? His eyes flash yellow after getting a kiss from Hilda. I’d like to think he’s something canine to go with his name, and perhaps his store stands over an actual gate to hell. Whether he’s a real hellhound or a werewolf, or the show pays off on its vampire nods with him, remains to be seen.

Madame Satan

She reveals her real name. She also reveals she’s Lilith, first wife of Adam. I find it funny that Sabrina actually invoked her during the exorcism.

Comic Book Look

Sabrina gets her comic book accurate hair in the end here. You know, I don’t think she needed it, but it’s a nice nod that there’s been a transformation in her power level.

Bonus Motifs

These things showed up a lot, and I didn’t want to have to write about it every single time.

13

Pop culture has got 13 as being unlucky and associated with magic, so I like that the show embraced it. A witch’s pregnancy lasts 13 months, 13 minutes is just enough time for a soul to leave a body, and 13 hours is how long Sabrina has to wait to see if her resurrection spell worked.

Cain And Abel

These two brothers were the sons of Adam and Eve, for those who know their biblical stories. They represent jealousy and murder, etc. We’ve got Hilda with her Cain pit in the garden, but there’s actually a lot of more subtle references to them. Cain was a farmer (Hilda) and Abel was a shepherd (Zelda, leading the way), for example. There’s a lot of focus on sibling relationships considering the show’s main character is an only child. Harvey and Tommy, Hilda and Zelda, the Weird Sisters, etc.

Suspira

A lot of the set design (windows and ceilings, specifically) are nods to the horror film Suspira. I’ve never seen it, but it got a lot of notice from horror fans on social media, so I figured I should add that here.

Real Spells

According to interviews and set visits, the crew wanted the set to be authentic, so that had practicing witches cast protection spells on the set and used real symbols around the Spellman house. The Spellman house even has a German protection spell carved into the floor.

Jughead

Also according to set visits, one of the shelves in the Baxter High library has a shelf where you can see a crown and “Jughead was here” carved into it. I don’t think it’s actually visible while watching the show though.

So, what did you guys think about the show? Love it? Hate it? Did you spot more Easter eggs?

[southsidewrites]

Thoughts on Riverdale and Marginalized Groups

So, after a lot of thought, I’ve realized what one of my biggest issues with Riverdale is, and that’s their flippant treatment of marginalized and disenfranchised groups.  I’ll preface this by saying I am a straight white woman, meaning that I will undoubtably have gaps in my understanding and experience.  I do always welcome additions/corrections from people who have lived these experiences, though, so don’t feel bad for calling me out (politely please).  I just need to put this in words though because my discomfort with this show is so much deeper than “ew, cringey plotlines”

Warning: This is going to be long (and it’ll probably still not cover even half of the issues).  Topics covered will be people of color, Native Americans, the LGBTQ community, people with mental illness, and people suffering from poverty/homelessness.  Read on for more.

People of Color

Riverdale has a lot of people of color for a network show.  No doubt about it.  However, these people of color have literally some of the least development.  It’s like they were cast to shoot a few promo pics and then forgotten as soon as they were introduced,  Most prominent examples:

Josie and the Pussycats: When I saw they were an all-black group, I was thrilled.  Then, they promptly disappeared.  This feels like such a half-hearted attempt to be diverse without any care for making them actual people.  A huge dissapointment.

The Serpents: Aside from Jughead, our main Serpents are all people of color.  And what do we get for them? No backstories, no real names in some cases, no representations of healthy families, and definitely no solid character development.  Again, a huge disappointment.

Reggie: One of the most under-developed characters on the show.  Not much to say other than he’s a stock douschey bad boy.  Again, no family and no development to speak of.

Special shout-out to the Lodges who are canonically Latino but show almost no sign of it other than an occasional “mi’ja”.

Extra special shout-outs to Chuck and Dilton who basically serve no purpose on this show other than a half second of storyline.

Basically, this show loves hiring actors of color, but when it comes to actually giving them screentime and worthwhile development, no such luck.

The Uktena

This I wanted to touch on in addition to people of color because it was extra disappointing.  The whole episode that introduced the Uktena and their history with the Serpents and the Blossoms was downright fascinating.  It was interesting, complex, and a sort of thoughtful exploration of colonialism.  Then, once they could promo it and get the box checked, it was gone, leaving us wondering if the Serpents are/aren’t the Uktena and why the heck is it being run by a white man?  Cool idea, pitiful execution.

LGBTQ

Ugh.  This one is hard to even start because I am PISSED. Riverdale has given us a few non-straight ships (Joavin, Kevin/Moose, and Choni), and they’ve all been messy af.  Let’s break it down.

Joaquin/Kevin: Initially built on a lie, but immediately a fan favorite.  Some interesting potential.  Ripped away as soon as it got good. 

Kevin/Moose: A rebound couple with a history of cheating.  Possibly the realest thing on this show, but kind of a disappointment.  Why can’t Riverdale just give Kevin a love interest that isn’t built on a foundation of lies/cheating/death?  Also, why can’t they develop Kevin as more than a stock gay best friends?  Literally, he just seems to be there for other people to vent to.

Chery/Toni: I’ve said a lot of this before, but this ship pisses me off the most because it could have been so good. Instead, we get a rushed romance that goes from literal enemies to literal girlfriends in the span of like three two-minute interactions.  Then, they get no  individual or relationship development, no valid screen time, and no anything really.  They’re just there to be there, and it seems to clear to me that they only exists to appease us.  It’s such a shallow cop-out relationship, and it makes me mad.  I would have been happy to wait for season three to get Choni if it meant I got well-developed, natural Choni instead of forced down my throat Choni.  Do better, Riverdale.

I don’t know what else to say other than I’m mad, and I want some valid LGBTQ relationships.  Give me some depth on these characters--tell me their struggles, their joys, their messy teenage emotions as they wrestle with who they are.

ALSO LET’S NOT FORGET THAT THEY MADE A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT CONVERSATION THERAPY AND THEN DROPPED IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. Conversion Therapy is downright traumatizing.  Even a few days can literally destroy teens.  I am not okay with how passively they “rescued” Cheryl, and literally all she needed to do to feel better was kiss Toni.  That’s just wrong, and it downplays such a huge, traumatic problem that is still a problem today.  Basically, they just wanted Toni to play hero, and they thought that could be an “edgy” way to do it.  Not okay with it being taken so lightly.

Mental Illness/(and kind of abuse)

So, a while back, Lili made some remark in an interview about how Riverdale tackles mental illness in a complex and real way.  Lies.  Sorry if this one gets heated, but I am someone with a diagnosed mental illness, and I get heated about poor representation.

Betty has some sort of mental illness.  Not sure if it’s depression, PTSD, something else, or some combination, but it’s there.  Calling it “darkness” and having it presented as her becoming some sort of dominatrix in a wig is creepy, romanticizing, and not to mention offensive. Her darkness isn’t profound or dramatic, it’s an illness, and she needs help and support.  Taking down bad guys is not the solution--real treatment is.  

Archie was sexually groomed and abused and watched his father get shot.  No way the boy doesn’t have PTSD.  Maybe instead of making him make all these dumb, thoughtless decisions, develop that a little more so we can see him as a struggling, hurt kid and not an idiot that’s easier to manipulate than a jar of play-doh.  

Cheryl attempted suicide and then literally burned down a house after her murderous father killed himself.  And how was that handled?  Not at all.  Literally, she should be hospitalized and given real, meaningful treatment, not sent back to her crazy abusive mother, sent to conversion therapy, and then initiated into a gang.  Honestly, it’s so ridiculous that I don’t even have words.

In general, all these kids are going through some heavy stuff, and there is not a doubt in my mind that they are suffering some clinical trauma and abuse issues.  I’m not sure how/if the show should tackle this, but what they’re doing now just isn’t working.

Poverty/Homelessness/Economic Disparity

Let’s talk about the Southside for a minute.  Jughead has been bounced around in foster after being semi-homeless.  Toni is admittedly couch-surfing while semi-living with her uncle.  Fangs and Sweet Pea have zero backstory.  All of them are lower-class, go to a poor school, live in trailers or other lower-class housing options, and all of them joined a gang (which typically don’t attract people with means and money).  And how does the show introduce them? Villains.  How shallow is it that the rich side of town was initially presented as good guys and the poor side as bad guys.  Sure, that dynamic was mostly demolished in Season 2, but it definitely started that way.  Not to mention, the three main Serpents are POC while the core four are all white or white-passing.  While some of these dynamics were disrupted, the foundational assumptions are still there, and they’re a bit too heavy-handed for my taste.  

Basically, the Serpents were introduced as the “edgy” foils to the main characters, but none of them have any of the development to go with it.  The ONLY reason I care about the Serpents is the fanon development because canonically, they’re beyond shallow.  They’re barely even characters--really, they’re just kind of plot pawns that keep the action moving.  Overall, they should have been more developed.  At least give the kids some parents, some background, some internality, because I cannot get behind them as heroes or villains when all we know it that they come from the “rough” side of town.

IN CONCLUSION/ TL;DR

Riverdale needs to stop worrying about checking inclusivity boxes and develop their damn characters.  Instead of trying to cram in a little bit of everything, slow down and do a couple things well because right now, it feels phony.  Like, “yeah, he include all sorts of real-world issues and problems, and our character are totally #diverse.”  When in fact, the show is about four kids, three of which are white, all of which are straight, three of which are upper middle class/wealthy, and all of which have been through severe trauma/abuse.  Don’t tell me this show is inclusive if your definition of inclusivity is two second storylines that have no development and serve only to forward the stories of four main characters.

As I said before, I welcome feedback/additions/corrections.  I just had to get this off my chest before I punched a literal wall.

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Twenty-Five: The Wicked and the Divine”

Jughead has seen more “mob movies” than I have, so I can’t verify his “classic trope,” but he’s speaking my language

I found Archie’s Devil Wears Prada errand-montage zippy and playful, much like Hiram Lodge himself

especially the direction of the construction guy’s arm clapping Archie’s shoulder to add movement to the swerving transition (not a technical term) as he steps into the trailer

Hiram’s soft V-neck sweater is, I assume, cashmere

Veronica’s look is so inseparable from collars and pearls that she has a collar made of pearls sewn into her dress

RAS wanted a Veronica-confirmation episode, so by God, he is getting one, and Veronica’s age be damned! Hiram and Hermione wanted “the same monsignor” from Veronica’s baptism, who I guess has been on leave at the Vatican for five years okay!

Archie wants to know if Veronica will have “to memorize stuff”

Veronica’s confirmation sponsor is her grandmother, which is par for the course, as is volunteering at a soup kitchen for her like 8 hours of required community service. I also had to write a report on Saint Lucy and pray a rosary in front of an abortion clinic. Veronica probably won’t have to do that, since you can’t say abortion on Riverdale

do soup kitchens have any actual paid employees, or are they all stocked with kids who just need volunteer hours/Matthew Goode’s character from The Good Wife in his spare time wearing that blue sweatshirt to characterize him as being “just that nice”?

Hiram is such a fucking soap opera star when he says Veronica has made him “the happiest father ALIVE.” like, alive?

“ISN’T SHE A MIRACLE?”

on FP’s kitchen table is the same kind of half-gallon of milk that Jughead was drinking from the morning after his birthday party. the Andrewses kept a spare half-gallon of skim milk just for Jughead in their fridge? the nicest thing Fred ever did for him

Jughead doubts it: Jughead is VERY sassy with Sheriff Keller and FP loves it!!!! because Jughead can have an anti-authoritarian ’tude WITHOUT NECESSARILY being “a gang member” at that particular moment!

FP is so crisp and put together! FP looks GREAT! what up though, Gladys?

wow I can’t believe Jughead’s article wielded so much political power that its legal ramifications echo throughout the entire episode, as if Jughead were Nellie Bly

“CAN I GET A QUOTE?” this is the Jughead that FP plainly adores

Jughead and Betty both drink skim milk, so, their wedding will be soon

are men on webcams actually fool enough to ask the webcam girls if they can MEET IN REAL LIFE? I have no knowledge about this world, but I would imagine the answer would be “Have you ever seen a film, ever?”

50 Shades of Betty: Betty looks pretty great in that severe black fucking wig and I still want an apology from Chuck specifically about dissing the wig

“Catholic chic” means veils optional, like the stole in black tie

What damn high school in America: Jughead doesn’t have to wear the preppy Lodge uniform, I see? shame

Best costume bit: Betty’s heart sweater is possibly my favorite thing she’s ever worn. I want it BADLY

ARE YOU TELLING ME HIRAM LODGE WANTS TO SUE A HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?

“DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER”? IS THERE SOMETHING HE WROTE THAT WASN’T TRUE? ARE YOU ~NOT~ BUILDING BOWLING ALLEYS ON NATIVE AMERICAN LAND? I will fucking suit up and be Jughead’s lawyer on this. as has been demonstrated, I have seen every episode of The Good Wife and can probably practice law in Illinois (for instance I know that in Illinois you only need one-person consent to secretly record a conversation)

I love Betty and Jughead being in the same room, of course, but Betty’s gentle, poking “And...did you?” is EXCEPTIONALLY cute. Betty is so cute. and sometimes scary

Jughead’s least clueless moment of the season so far is him looking back knowingly at Betty when she says maybe he would do it to “avenge Toni’s grandfather”

“WE’RE PALS.”

Jughead kind of looks great leaning against the window. like the lighting or something. God, please let me one day see the two of them making out with Betty in her cheerleading uniform

okay, I thought Betty and Jughead, IT WAS IMPLIED, had already had sex, because I was shown them waking up together after they had slept together in the trailer. apparently they LITERALLY slept together. APPARENTLY THEY HAVE NOT HAD SEX YET. I should have known, from the sleeper biceps, that Jughead was still pining IN THIS WAY, FOR THAT! I should have KNOWN Betty had not RIDDEN JUGHEAD INTO THE SUNSET YET. fuck! what am I doing!

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: I also emotionally defend Betty’s ecru lie about not having “done anything” with anyone since the breakup since, as one will recall, immediately after her and Archie’s kiss they stared in horror at each other and have not talked about it since, thus cancelling it out as a real kiss (this is also a statute of Illinois law)

Hermione Lodge has some sort of skinny gold Lothlórien belt on over her deep merlot blazer

Archie > Dawson: Archie is sweet when he apologizes for making Pop double-check the order: “It’s more to make sure I get everything right.”

Archie hears Pop’s slip about Hiram being “the boss,” but other things happen and he FORGETS! at what inopportune time will he remember? when he’s physically embracing Jughead Jones?

although couldn’t Pop just play it off like Hiram is Archie’s boss? think on your feet, Pop

for the record I love Agent Adams and his whole deal. his plan is so insane that it might be brilliant. I just do still wish he were being played by either Sterling K. Brown or Max Greenfield

he doesn’t appreciate Archie’s attitude: “Is there a problem?” yeah, uh, Archie’s like twelve years old and not a trained undercover field agent? I love this stupid shit

oh, everyone’s being evicted from Sunnyside? if only Jughead hadn’t driven the southside’s only lawyer out of town with Kenickie Murdoch’s switchblade

OH MY GOD HERMIONE’S PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

according to everyone’s facial expressions, Veronica is under the impression she is doing good political maneuvering inviting the McCoys to her confirmation, Hermione is stunned she did so, Veronica really wanted to sing a solo, and Josie doesn’t know why she has to fucking apologize for anything

Josie being Veronica’s “gift” from Mayor McCoy is horrifying

Sixth period is Intro to Film: Cruel Intentions is a fantastic Catholic standard, containing as it does cocaine, “experimental” girl-on-girl French kissing, Ryan Phillippe’s ass, the line “I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself,” and implied step-sibling fucking, all of which I think Riverdale should include more of

the blue and red lighting inside the Wyrm is still nice. does the Wyrm even count as a dive? strippers probably wouldn’t waste their time at dives

wow there are some true beards in this crowd

okay…..the idea that Tall Boy is a better suspect than Jughead…...because he’s physically taller…..is singularly the most fantastic thing…..I have ever heard…..

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: the sound of Archie shifting on the leather of Hiram’s couch is real good

“I RESPECT A MAN WHO WOULD GO TO SUCH EXTREMES.” HIRAM PLEASE!!!!! ARCHIE IS TOO DUMB FOR THIS!!!!!!

Gay?!: Ben? who the fuck is Ben? who is BEN? who the fuck?

OH MY GOD Jughead got in to see the mayor AGAIN! is Ethel Muggs her secretary???

Jughead interrupted Mayor McCoy eating her salad at her desk

for like the third time in the series she says she’s “always liked” Jughead, which, fat lot of good that’s done him

in Riverdale there is a red uniform at the soup kitchen, because even THE POOR must abide by aesthetics

Archie doesn’t know what cutting cigars means

Archie’s shoulders are nice under that polo

Betty’s plan about “treat it like a missing person’s case” and making it like this snooping Blue and Gold intrigue thing is of course welcome as a pretense for the two of them working together (on the show’s part), but in reality it’s just the fucking bare minimum that THE AUTHORITIES should ALREADY BE FUCKING DOING THEMSELVES

at this point I went to bed and had a very gripping, sexy dream about Veronica and Jughead. Veronica and Jughead

“Damn good coffee”: Hiram floating having to “bring Archie in” on the Lodge Family Tammany Hall is only slightly less absurd than the Federal Bureau of Investigation having already done so. what does Archie need to be brought in on, exactly? he’s just Veronica’s arm candy. he barely knows what a cigar is

while it is STILL ODD that Veronica has done a 180 on her accepting her father’s criminality, she still holds Archie up as a beacon of goodness, because, like I said, shoulders, polos

Jughead’s “order of the Ophidians” as he tapes up the Missing poster is either, so far as I can tell, an extremely obscure MMORPG reference or he’s just calling them snakes, but like, in Latin

Penny didn’t die of gangrene from her blistering wound like on the Oregon trail? probably a plus

FP is in some deep pain here. this is so far beyond his worst fears about Jughead joining the Serpents that he like never even fucking considered—I NEVER FUCKING CONSIDERED IT, IT WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

I certainly don’t think Penny’s terms are like, PARTICULARLY OUT OF LINE

ooooh Jughead’s little snipe at his father for fridging Jason!

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH “YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF US,” THE ANGUISHED REALIZATION IN FP’S EYES, GLADYS STAY AWAY!!!!!

I can’t believe the sixth season of The Wire takes place in Riverdale and doesn’t even have Sonja Sohn playing Agent Adams

Alice’s angel wing-white Founding Father blouse and Betty’s textured peach sweater

Hal is REALLY skittish about Chic, considering that HE’S HIS SON, SO FAR AS WE KNOW. but Hal hordes important information until the bitter end, so he probably just knows some shit

The Blossom Whoever the fuck’s spawn: “He’s a stranger. That’s my beef.”

“It’s been ~some time~ since my last confession” is usually the most accurate clocking I could give as well

I love the very dangerous clusters of candles inside the confessional

These students are legally children: NO ONE is helping Veronica. Veronica is trying to “find her thing” like, in the dark, lit by votive candles

I loved the circle of beautiful mob wives drinking wine and talking about how praying to “the Almighty” for “forgiveness” makes them feel better #aspirational

Hiram isn’t fucking around with Mr. Man “disrespecting Pop Tate.” Pop Tate is an angel, doing his best out here in a chaotic world. his poutine is probably great!

Archie’s stuck using the wrong kind of plunger

Poppa Poutine says Hiram lost his “mojo” in “the joint”

is Poppa right? is Hiram weak? if you subtract the Andrews boys, he doesn’t seem to have any problems

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie is back with killer witchy earrings, a lovely dress, and a fierce hold on the remainder of her personal agency

of course it’s “Bitter Sweet Symphony” but with harps. you know the Verve doesn’t get any royalties from that song? are the Rolling Stones the worst band in the world?

I LIKE THE SWOOSH FROM LARRY OR WHOEVER AND POPPA BACK TO ARCHIE WATCHING THEM

the back of the church is bathed in purple, the altar is yellow, the monsignor is in BRIGHT PALM SUNDAY RED, and this is what church should have always been like

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Hermione’s strong-shouldered structured white jacket is amazing and Jughead forgoed his hat, to be respectful

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: slightly strangely, Cheryl isn’t there at all this episode, but what we are truly robbed of is seeing what she would have worn to the confirmation

Veronica has a SUPER-SWEET very light pink/purple manicure!

Summer + Blair = Veronica: you better believe when Veronica was asked if she renounced Satan I was like, IS SHE GOING TO LOOK AT HER FATHER AND STORM OUT OF THAT CHURCH????? I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT!!!!!

instead I got an amazing thematic light show about Veronica choosing to believe in Archie’s unflagging internal compass and following his light (“the light of the Lord”!)

HE GIVES HER A TINY HAPPY NOD WHILE SHE’S THINKING, LIKE “YEAH BABE I KNOW YOU RENOUNCE SATAN!!!!!”

Veronica was rich: Veronica does look like a fucking angel up there

wow, Dilton isn’t DJing the afterparty? weird

why are Betty and Archie standing together AT ALL?

Abuelita is 100% right about pinching Archie’s cheek and Archie goes with it because he is respectful

Jughead eats: Jughead is so tormented he neglects the buffet!!!!!!

Jughead’s suit is very nice. I like the progression of his wearing better and better suits

Betty takes the news of Jughead’s CONFESSION that he “cut” Penny pretty stoically, as she did boil a guy once

POOR JUG IS RIGHT, IT DIDN’T EVEN MATTER!

Closed Captioning tells me the junkyard guy’s name is “JUNKYARD STEVE,” MY MAN

“If only we lived in a town where the answer could be no.”

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Jughead in his leather jacket OVER HIS SUIT JACKET is pretty good!

“BY ANY CHANCE WAS THIS GENTLEMAN TALL?” OH MY GOD!!!! CASE FUCKING CLOSED BOYS!!!!!!!

Hermione hauling Veronica back for the photographer

Archie looking up from behind the closing art deco elevator doors

The female gaze: Archie is of course so handsome and perfectly proportioned in his suit. his handsomeness is such a given that I take it wholly for granted, like how when not suffering an allergy attack I can breathe from both nostrils but when one hits and I’m sneezing up my guts I’m like, air coming in from both nostrils? true bliss, I’ll never forget it again

God, did he get rid of his tailored cranberry Blossom suit? not the WORST crime committed in Riverdale, but probably worthy of eviction

Fifth period is AP English: as @hangingonyourwords noted, Archie knowing the word “coup” is VERY surprising! GOOD, ARCHIE

Hiram Lodge is, I think, listening to that song from Carmen while pouring himself a stiff drink, the massive Rory Gilmore portrait of Veronica over one shoulder and the blue light of an antipodean sea streaming in over the other, using a rotary phone to call in A MURDER

Tall Boy having to suffer interrogation by Jughead, whom he surely must have always despised, is his final indignity 

Jughead calls Betty “one of us,” which has not been given enough fanfare by ANYONE in the show! Betty is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT as much a Serpent as Jughead, unless Jughead’s mother is a Serpent, except that she hasn’t had to shout their stupid rules into someone’s face yet

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: “YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED MY SON’S QUESTION.”

the poor Serpents have been twisted around rich northsiders’ fingers for so long that they don’t have any fucking idea what to be doing when NOT at the behest of a blackmailer or bribery. I don’t know what it means to be a Serpent except that it means you’re poor and comely. and VERY civic-minded

“You’re a Judas, Tall Boy. And an idiot.”

Gay.: Sweet Pea raises both his arms to vote

FP’s gonna run Tall Boy out of town. a word of advice: one town over is not far enough

hell, Archie’s seen all those mob movies too! he and Jughead must’ve watched them together while Jughead was sleeping in his bedroom

Archie’s speech to Veronica is GOOD, ARCHIE, and what Veronica gets out just reinforces my thought that Hiram is literally starting a second town under Mayor McCoy’s nose, which would concern me expect that it has been definitely shown that even after things are executed on Riverdale I confuse myself and am invariably exactly wrong

I would probably kiss Archie too if he looked at me like that and said “I’m with you,” which I think explains Betty

HAHAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY!!!!!! SOMETHING IN THE WATER IN FP’S TRAILER

Jughead’s suspenders? a startling plus!

I like the quietness of “Maybe we can ask Veronica on Monday.” it reminded me of Archie’s face-saving some-other-time-definitely promise to go to the library with Jughead

“Maybe we should just investigate quietly until we know more.”

BLESSED BE THE CHILDREN and Jughead’s brusque scoff at himself for saying “my darkness”

in a move that the last few episodes haven’t shown him as having enough sense to make, Jughead puts his hand, not on Betty’s hand, but directly on the skirt of her dress

also Jughead knows that dress zippers have a point where you think it’s gone all the way down but really you’ve got a little further to go otherwise you can’t get the waistline over the hips? Jug’s got a little bit of game going on!

I like the silhouette of Jughead’s Adam’s apple

while Jughead is doing an excellent job delicately checking in with Betty’s sacral chakra, with his bare hand, I don’t want to overlook either his own gently crossed ankles as he holds her or his AMAZING SOCKS

when Betty tells him she needs to tell him something, he EXHALES a “What?” before he says “What is it?” WHOOP

she is missing a pretty sick meatloaf or pork of some more at her mother’s dinner table

I didn’t think there was a physiognomically scarier white guy around than Chic himself, but I was wrong!!!! it’s definitely that guy at the door!!!!!!

oh shit, Archie sort of got somebody (else) killed. this is like when Jughead didn’t mean to but definitely got somebody’s face beaten in by Tall Boy and Serpent Baby—holy shit what happened to that kid!!!! where did Serpent Baby go???

Certified pedigree: OKAY SENDING THE STATUE HEAD TO HIRAM LODGE VIA A CONFIRMATION “PRESENT” TO HIS DAUGHTER IS A PRETTY GREAT MOVE. I ASSUME THIS WAS YOU, FP JONES. FP IS REALLY GOOD AT PUTTING WORDLESS THREATENING MESSAGES INTO BOXES

in the shot bingo of Riverdale, the middle box would have to be Betty coming through her front door and pausing because she hears something suspicious

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: the squishy sound effect of the rags on the wet floor? her perfect hair? her bright blue turtleneck? “Elizabeth, did you lock the front door?” Alice is already three steps ahead!!! Alice Alice Alice!!!!!

Alice and FP have now both cleaned up somebody else’s murder’s cranial blood (I’m assuming Chic clocked this guy, which means it was probably Melody), further proof they belong together

Please protect Betty: Betty fucking Jughead probably saved her life

Next week: Cheryl shoots a bow and arrow!!! into my heart!!!!!!!!!

[kneesheee]

Sweet Pea’s Sapphire

|one|

Sapphire Stone was once of the most well-known names across Riverdale. She was a descendant of one of the founding families. The Stones were right there on the list next to the Blossoms for the richest families in Riverdale. She lived basically the perfect life. She had loving parents that doted on her at every turn. Spoiled rotten yet humbled.

Her childhood associates thought it was strange of her to not take pleasure in her apparent superiority of their classmates. But Sapphire had a reason. If she lived in the area that they did, then she probably would have relished in the power and control she had over those in her presence. But unlike the Thornhill Mansion, Stone Manor was located on the Southside of Riverdale and Sapphire had the pleasure of watching the area wither away from her lonely manor.

Sapphire grew an interest in the area that her mother grew sick with at every mention. The Stones have always donated to the Riverdale community, but nothing ever change for the better on the Southside. It only seemed to grow worse.

Alongside her relationship with her acquaintances with her Northside business partners, because Sapphire knew from an early age that none of them were supposed to be her friends. It was all just business. Business that took nose dive as Sapphire fascination grew deeper and deeper with the Southside.

Sapphire was eight when it happened. When she got a reality check that just because the Northside looked pretty, its heart was darker and more poisoned than anything the Southside could come up with. She had been at home when it happened. Her babysitter, Mrs. DeSantos, was over watching her as usual as her parents were out of town on a business trip.

The phone call came around six that evening, and Sapphire could remember it well. She had been lying across the floor coloring Get Well cards for Mrs. DeSantos son. Her gaze had switched over to Mrs. D when she heard her sharp intake of breath and for a moment, Sapphire was worried that her son had died or something. The woman had been on the verge of tears, but her eyes turned to Sapphire and the sad expression on her face had left Sapphire reeling and confused.

When Mrs. D got off the phone, she walked over to Sapphire slowly like one wrong step would set the young girl off. Sapphire wanted to punch her for making her feel scared. Mrs. D had taken a deep breath before she took Sapphire’s hands in hers and told her with the gentlest voice that her parents had died in car crash.

Sapphire was old enough to understand the meaning of death. A goodbye in the most permanent form. And Sapphire could only let her tears out drop at a time as she heard the news. She hoped that they at least had a smile on their faces when they went. Holding hands as they always do when they rode together with their thumbs tracing over each other’s fingers.

Sapphire felt as she was having an out of body experience. She processed nothing. Not even when it became apparent that despite her mother’s revelations about the Southside, in their will, Sapphire was to live with the DeSantos and quote, “Do not let that bitch Penelope or her stale wig wearing husband get their hands on my child and our company. I swear I will come back from the grave and raze this town the ground.” The lady awkwardly chuckled but Mrs. D obliged and took Sapphire in. Though it may have helped that they were to be payments that had been set aside to pay her for her services. Apparently, her parents were always convinced that they were going to leave her orphaned.

It was at the funeral where Sapphire began to hate Northsiders. No one came to see her parents off. Oh, she was seething. None of them could even bother to show their face especially since it was those assholes of Blossoms that hit had her parents. Well, she wouldn’t say none of them. The Andrews, the Coopers, Mr. Tate, the Mayor and her family, and the Sheriff and his son should up. They gave their condolences, but Sapphire could still see when Mrs. Cooper took pictures of her as Mrs. D consoled her.

She faked a smile for each business partner from out of town that came up to her. Giving her thanks for their kind words, but she knew that they would try to buy her families' company from under her. Jokes on them, her father had contingency plans like he was some sort of Batman of the technology business.

What surprised her was the amount of people from the Southside that were there for the funeral. She had been used to seeing them wrapped in leather, plaids, jeans and cotton t shirts; it took her by a surprise when they showed up in slacks, dress shirts, skirts, blouses. She almost thought she was surrounded by more of her father’s friends at their casual dinners, but their various states of snake and skull tattoos made it apparent who they were. Her father’s friends wouldn’t be caught dead, too soon, with tattoos visible on their bodies at a serious occasion.

After the funeral was over and her parents were laid to rest in the Stone Family’s burial grounds, Sapphire made her way back to her room of the manor to get the last of her belongings.  Her longtime home doors would be close for many years to come.

Eight Years Later…

Sapphire woke up to the sound of her brother banging on her door. She groaned and stuffed her head back under her pillow. Fuck, it was way too early to be getting up.  Sapphire ignored the sounds of her brother entering her room, but failed to fall back asleep. She sat up with scowl on her face at her brother who stood near the foot of her bed with a smirk on his face.

“Time to get up Saph,” he stated as he was already dressed only with his jacket missing.

“It’s the summer, Quin. Go away,” she groaned as she flopped backed on her bed.

“You see I would,” Joaquin started before chuckling softly at her look of impatience. “But FP just called about the Northsider so you gotta be up to let Toni, SP, and Fangs in.”

At the mention of her three best friends, Sapphire perked up a little before realizing what else he said. “He still having trouble with that punk?” Sapphire didn’t know who they had from the Northside. All she got was he was some little punk that was trying to run off with his girlfriend who he knocked up. She didn’t even know why they kept him. Whatever the case was, FP had wanted them staying on the Southside and away from the River after her old long-ago child acquaintance drown there. She found it stupid since all of them knew how to swim.

“I guess so. Get up and get dressed. I’m leaving in a few and the others should be here in thirty,” her brother stated as he headed out the door of her room. “I fixed some breakfast for you too.”

Groaning, Sapphire stood up from her bed and made her way over to her closet. She pulled her favorite pair out a pair of black high waist shorts and a dark plaited shirt. She moved away from the closet and reached into her drawers to pull on a black bandeau before slipping on her pants and tying the shirt around her waist. She ran a brush through her hair a few times before walking out and into the kitchen to eat the breakfast her brother made for her. A simple plate of eggs, bacon, and blueberry pancakes sat before her next to a glass of apple juice. She ate quickly yet slow enough to savor the taste of the food before heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She didn’t hear when her brother called out his farewell, but she did hear the door closing as she made her way to the hall closet to get supplies to set up her nest.

She finished quickly before moving back to the living room to sit back and catch up on the new season of Supernatural. She had fallen behind a little with all her late-night joyrides with Sweet Pea and Toni.

The knock on the door startled her from her focus on watching the Winchester brothers kick ass as usual. Sighing through her nose, she made her way over to the door and unlocked it before heading back to the couch. “It’s open!”

Her three friends each walked in and plopped down in the seats around her. Toni took the recliner for herself while Fangs took over the love seat. Sweet Pea sat beside her on the three-seater which led Sapphire to immediately stretching her legs on top of his.

“Why is life so boring all of a sudden,” Fangs complained from his spot as he too watched the Winchester brothers. “Is this what we have to do now? Watching bad shows on tv?”

“Fangs, dude, mi amigo, I love you but if you ever speak down on the wonders that is Supernatural again, I will kill you,” Sapphire spoke seriously not even sparing him a glance. Toni and Sweet Pea chuckled, and Sapphire kept very still as Sweet Pea’s hand trailed up her thigh and traced her own serpent tattoo that unlike most serpents wrapped around her upper thigh.

“We should do something,” Fangs complained. The other three turned their heads towards him.

“Still looking for a way to get your stripes,” she questioned. Out of the four of them, he was the only one left. Sure, he got a rep by being with them all the time, but he hadn’t earned his spot to be by them. It was only because they said that he was cool for him to be in their presence was it allowed. The three of them were basically Serpent royalty right behind FP’s northsider son.

He nodded a little sheepish. He wouldn’t admit it, but he desperately wanted to earn his stripes to be able to have the right to be by their side instead of just their word of mouth. Toni smiled over to him encouragingly, “You’ll get them eventually. Don’t rush it. Trust me.”

The four of them shared smiles before settling in to watch tv show marathons varying from Supernatural to Voltron to Stranger Things and even to some Disney movies. Sweet Pea complained about the movies, but Sapphire saw him wipe his eyes at some of the sad parts. Gets him every time, she thought.

Afterwards, the four of them went riding through the Southside tagging everything with the Serpent symbol and smirking at Ghoulies they passed. They stopped by Sweet Pea’s family store and joked around with his mom and brother. Sapphire even stuck her head in the backroom and greeted Grammy Sweets before Sweet Pea pulled her away as Grammy got to talking about if she or Toni were going to bless her with some great grands.

It was late in the night when her brother made it back to their house with blood seeping through his shirt. Sapphire’s wide eyes took him in and she barely managed to hold in a scream before he told her that it wasn’t his own. She still felt a little light headed and had to onto Sweet Pea’s shoulder for support to ground her in case she fainted.

Her brother came back to the front and made them swear on their most treasured memory and person to not mention what he was about to tell them. And right after he did, Sapphire wished he kept it to himself.

She had always known that the Northside was sick and twisted, but for one to murder their own son in cold blood? Fuck, that was on a completely different level. The four of them promised her brother to never speak on it. Joaquin smiled gratefully before settling in to watch television with them.

Sapphire found that she couldn’t really concentrate on the show before her. Her mind kept imaging the scene of when the boy died. When he was murdered by his own father. And that was a shock for Sapphire. Poor Jason. He was somewhat nice to her when they were little even though it was all business between the two of them. He didn’t deserve that and another part of her couldn’t help but to wonder if she would’ve been in that position if she was forced to live with the Blossoms. Hell, she could see why Jason had previously wanted to run away and that had nothing to do with his girlfriend. She couldn’t help but to wonder if the girl even knew that her baby’s father was murdered.

As the others were leaving and Joaquin went out to make sure their bikes were properly secured, Sapphire latched onto Sweet Pea’s arm in a show of vulnerability. He looked down at her in confusion and his eyes widen slightly at the outright fear in her eyes. “Stay with me tonight?”

The two of them both swallowed deeply.  This was new territory between them. It went pass the harmless flirting and none too innocent touches and glances that lingered for seconds too long. It went pass keeping barely restrained jealousy and anger at bay whenever someone flirted with the other. And sure, the two spent nights over each other houses countless of times. But never had those encounters ever dealt with raw emotion and unguarded feelings. So yes, this was new territory for them.

And before either could question if it was worth it, Sweet Pea was agreeing to stay before moving outside to go secure his own bike. Sapphire headed back to her room, grabbed some night clothes for herself, set some of the spare clothing she kept for Sweet Pea, and disappeared into the shower. When she exited and got dressed, neither of them said anything as he went to shower, and she climbed into her bed. Her brother had walked into the room and quirked a brow before kissing her on the forehead.

               “Night, sis. Be safe,” he chuckled at the look of shock that crossed her face before exiting to his room and that look of shock stayed even as Sweet Pea returned back, closed the door, and climbed into the bed beside her. Neither of them said anything, but Sapphire scooted into his embrace and tucked her head under his chin and let the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep.                --                Weeks passed and neither Sapphire nor Sweet Pea mentioned that night. They weren’t embarrassed but what was there to say? Nothing had changed in their friendship except the touches lingered even longer and gazes strayed minutes at time. Their jealousy was much more prominent, and their flirting developed just a bit more. To a passing eye, they would seem to be behaving the same as usual but those close to them knew the truth. A line had been crossed and something shifted. It was only that Sapphire and Sweet Pea where determined to not focus on it.

               Sapphire had heard through the grapevine that rich girl Veronica Lodge and her mother had moved to town after her father was arrested for fraud. She had mentally gone through the list of her family’s most known partners and was relieved that the Lodge’s name didn’t come up.

               And that was about as far as Northside drama that she had felt comfortable talking about. She had much more interesting things to think about on the Southside like her snake’s den. Newbie Serpents that she took to training herself. She helped walked them through the motions of going through the initiation. Fighting with them so they can pass through it all. Even when Sweet Pea got jealous and threatened to kick all their asses, she was there for them and helped them with everything. Homework. Girls. Boys. Older Serpents.

               Sapphire had been on her way to her locker when Sweet Pea walked up to her. She felt a prick of annoyance when she had to look up at him. She hated being so much shorter, but she said nothing and rose a brow. Sweet Pea had leaned against the wall of lockers. He ran a hand through his messy wavy hair as his rosy and slightly chapped lips pulled into a smirk. His dark eyes burned into hers and Sapphire fought off the blush that she could feel rising.

               “What is it, SP? Come on. Hurry up, I have accounting next.”

               He rolled his eyes in response at her need to get to class. As if he didn’t have some of the highest grades in school. His ‘too cool for school’ act doesn’t fool her. “Are you going to the drive-in tonight?”

               The Twilight Drive In where Sapphire has some of her fondest memories. Where she lost her virginity to the same boy in front of her during one drunken night that she doubts he even remembers considering he was more smashed than she was. It’s also where she went through her own initiation into the Serpents and made her feel even closer to her family of misfits.      

         “I am,” she replied as she moved around him and continued to her locker knowing he would follow. She heard his heavy footsteps as she opened her locker and switched out her books.

               “I need a date,” Sweet Pea started, and Sapphire turned deeper into the locker to keep the scowl forming on her face from showing. The last time he needed a date somewhere he asked her to convince Jazz Towers to go with him.

               “What does have to do with me,” she cut him off sharply and internally winced at how bitterly jealous she sounded.

               He placed a hand on her arm and used the other to turn her face to him. A soft yet sharp smile danced across his face and Sapphire decided that she loved the look. “I’m asking you to go with me.”

Okay, wait.

Pause.

Rewind.

Play it back.

Did he just ask me on a date, she thought as her heart beat sped up. She was sure that her eyes were wide and shocked like a deer in headlights except she wouldn’t tear up your front end if you don’t manage to move out of her way. Well, she would but not at that second.

Her face flamed red and Sweet Pea could easily see how flustered she was. And that was fucking hot. Sapphire hardly ever blushed or stumbled over her words as she tried to find her footing. He decided that he liked this side of her. He liked it a lot.

               He watched as her eyes flickered away from his and back before turned back to her locker with her cheeks still burning. She cleared her throat as she pulled down her textbook before once again turning to look back at him.

               “It’s not the most romantic way to ask a girl out,” she stated as a small smile made its way to her face and the spark in her eyes smothered the flustered look in its return. “But I’ll take it this time. Seven-thirty, don’t be late.”

               She closed her locker and replaced the lock before turning away and headed towards her class. He watched her walk away and smirked when she spared a glance behind her to see him still watching her. She shook her head with a smirk of her own before he lost sight of her in the crowd.

               Lunch Time rolled around, and Toni rushed over to Sapphire with a sly smile on her face. “I heard someone has a date with Sweet Pea.”

               Fighting down her blush, Sapphire nodded back with a bright smile. “He asked me earlier. Who all knows?”

               Toni smiled back at her before looping their arms and pulling her towards the Serpents side of the café. They ignored the Ghoulies that catcalled them and stuck their fingers up at the ones that insulted them. “Oh, just you know every Serpent here and maybe a few regulars.”

               Saph laughed as they reached their table and sat down. Toni sat on the other side of her and started flicking through the pictures of her camera and showing them to Sapphire. They were barely sitting there for five minutes when her brother, Fangs, and Sweet Pea joined them.

               “So, what’s the plan for the drive in,” Fangs questioned as his eyes flickered from Sapphire to Sweet Pea with a knowing smile.

               “Quin and I are riding with you,” Toni told him without even looking up from her camera. Fangs scrunched his nose up but before he got say anything, it got deadly quiet around them. Their gazes flickered up to see one of the regulars strut her way into their section. None of them could think of her name, but she did look familiar. She was treated to blank faces and suspicious glances as she made her way to closer to their table.

Once she stopped, she turned to look at Sweet Pea with sly smirk on her face. Sapphire barely managed to keep the scowl from dropping on her face. The girl tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear before she said, “Hey, Sweet Pea. I was wondering you wanted to go to the Drive-In with me for its last night.”

Sapphire turned to look at Sweet Pea only to notice that he was looking back at her before she turned her head away. She didn’t see his expression, but she heard how smoothly he rejected the girl. “Sorry, doll. I’m already going with Sapphire.”

Saph’s eyes flickered up towards the girl who sneered down at her before huffing and walking away.

Bitch.

The rest of lunch passed without much fanfare. Hell, the rest of the day went by normally. Well if you didn’t count the other Serpents coming up to Saph and Sweet Pea congratulating them on their date like it was some sort of fucking engagement.

Sapphire rode her bike home and secured it before she rushed to her room to find something to wear. Okay, it must be something smoking hot yet still look like you didn’t put any effort in it but still looked like you deserved to be on Sweet Pea’s arm or like Sweet Pea deserve to have you on his arm. And fuck this isn’t prom or even a gala!

She sighed deeply before just rummaging throw her closet until her eyes caught sight of favorite pair of black skinny jeans and matched it with a red crop top. She got her Serpent jacket and her red fingerless gloves and set all of it out on the bed. Then spent the next twenty minutes searching for her black combat boots growing more frustrated by the second until she found one under her bed and the other in the microwave for some reason.

She spent the next two hours doing homework before stopping and instead scrolling through her twitter. She noticed quite a few Northies hash tagging the Drive In and how they’d be there and she mentally sighed because she just knew that FP was not going to let them mess with them. Such a shame really.

By the time seven o’clock rolled around, Sapphire had gotten dressed and was working on her hair because if it wasn’t a simple ponytail or just letting it hang freely, it took at least fifteen minutes to style and five before that to tame. She decided to forego makeup. It was going to be dark and she’d more than likely sitting at the back of the drive in with the rest of the Serpents.

But imagine her surprise when Sweet Pea didn’t pull up to her house on his bike, but instead in his family’s pickup truck. He made it there five minutes before, but being the little shit that he was he waited until it was exactly 7:30 to knock and let go of the door handle so she could finally open it. She gave him an unimpressed look at his actions, but her mouth went a little dry at seeing him in a fitted t-shirt under his jacket. And fuck him because he knew that she liked fitted t shirts on guys.

The ride to the drive in was filled with small talk, but Sapphire could feel her nerves eating at her. This was her first real date with Sweet Pea. She had been crushing on him for so long and she wouldn’t know what to do if he was just doing this for a fuck. Probably kill him or move away from Riverdale to London and work in a chippy.

Sweet Pea parked the truck close enough to see the movie, but still far enough to be near the gang. Toni had rushed up to her and hugged her the second she saw her.

“Fuck me, those Northerners are hot. Boys and the girls,” she whispered into Sapphire’s ear. Honestly, with Sweet Pea standing near her with that fucking shirt on and his own leather jacket, she hadn’t paid much mind to the Northies. She just smirked at Toni though because Toni loves scoping out the rare delicacies.

The two of them made their way to the concession stand and were about to pay when FP came up behind them and paid instead. Neither girl missed the way he glared at the boy working the booth at his not-so discreet staring at Saph’s boobs and not-subtle flirting with Toni. If anyone ever said that FP wasn’t a softy, then they just needed to see him with most of the girls in the gang. He treated them like his own daughters. I made a lot of mistakes in my life and one includes not being able to see my little girl grow up. My son avoids me, so if I’m going to repay for those mistakes then I’ll start by being the dad you girls need.

“Thanks, FP,” the girls told him.

“Anything for Southside’s Gems,” he replied patting the both on the head before moving to walk away. Though he did stop and turned and threw a smirk in Sapphire’s direction, “And congrats on your date with Sweet Pea.”

Fucking hell, just who doesn’t know.

The two girls made their way back to the gang before Sweet Pea pulled her away to go sit on the back of the truck. The movie was good, but their attention kept dragging back to their friends right behind them making noise and with the occasional teasing remark thrown their way.

“Do you know what happens to a snake when a Louboutin heel steps on it?” Sapphire heard which drew her attention from throwing popcorn over at Fangs who was trying to catch them in his mouth. Her gaze snapped towards a dark-haired girl not too far ahead of her who was standing up glaring back at the rest of the Serpents.

First of all, bitch…

Sapphire was moving to stand up and give it to her as good as she got when Sweet Pea’s hand curled around her wrist. Her scowl dropped onto him as he shook his head before nodding over in FP and Tall Boy’s direction. Both gave her the look to drop it and she plopped back down in her seat with a pout.

“No need to pout, love,” Sweet Pea laughed at her. “You’ll get your turn for revenge sooner or later.”

               “S’ not fair. How come she gets to snap at us and we don’t get to say nothing back,” she mumbled before blushing as he wrapped an arm around her. She forced herself to relax as he pulled her closer to him.

               “FP doesn’t want us to draw attention and he especially doesn’t want them to know one of their finest grew up with them. He doesn’t want them to think we tainted you.”

               “Well you didn’t, if anything I tainted you all,” she muttered childishly. He laughed again, “Sure you did, doll.”

               And then…  

             Then he tilted her face up towards his and kissed her.

Oh, my fucking fish sticks, Sweet Pea is kissing me! His lips are touching my lips!

She got over her shock rather quickly and kissed him right back. Before it could any further though, he pulled away from her and smiled. “How about another date next week?”

She smiled softly at him, “I’d like that,” she replied as she laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm tightly around her even more.

|two| |three| |four| |five| |six| |seven| |eight| |nine| |ten|

[jerepars]

Unbelievers Extended Story Notes

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here.

Betty shut off the water and instead grabbed a handful of tissues off the counter. She wiped at her face with the soft Kleenex sheets harshly, in hopes of getting all the mascara on her cheeks off before it dried and she’d have to scrub. When she was done, she took a step back and considered her appearance as a whole. She smoothed out the wrinkles along the bodice of her periwinkle dress and adjusted the draping of her pale pink cardigan around her shoulders. The pastels of her party outfit were a contrast to her soured mood. Only her wooly black tights suited her soul. Betty took a few deep breaths and tightened her blonde ponytail.

Someone was bound to need the bathroom soon with the amount of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Korbel Brut (and Martinelli’s apple cider for the responsible crowd) flowing at the party. If she didn’t make her move quickly and get out of the bathroom, she’d be interrupted by a knock. Or, even worse, her sister—who’d been holding hands with Jason Blossom all night—might come looking for her. With a final wipe at her eyes and a nod of confidence at herself in the mirror that she could keep up her best fake happy face, Betty opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

This section was influenced by Paramore's "Fake Happy", especially the part that goes: And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears, you think I'll look alright with these mascara tears?

I found it fitting because of the details we know about Betty. I've noticed in canon that she is, for sure, extrememly emotional, and the moments when she really lets go and gives in to her saddness are when she's alone. Most of the time in public, to the outside world, she puts her happy mask on even when everything isn't going all rainbows and butterflies for her. Only a few get to see her at her worst.

As it turned out, the whips didn’t sting less and they’d chosen the exact worst moment to enter the kitchen. A game of suck-and-blow—using a card from a stack of Cards Against Humanity, no less—had broken out in the kitchen. Archie was in between Cheryl Blossom and Ginger Lopez. He got the card successfully from Cheryl but let it drop (also successfully) when Ginger leaned into him. Ginger was his latest crush and when the card fell, he kissed her anyway, his hands moving to her waist and the game participants whooping and cheering behind them.

So, suck-and-blow is from Clueless.

Also, "Jughead is Cher Horowitz" turned into an excellent thread on here and I am happy to have been a participant.

Betty’s history with boys after her second kiss with Archie was scarce. She went on a date with Trev Brown, who’d held her hand and stared into her eyes of jade and and made her laugh, but was so nervous when he kissed her that it was mostly his braces pressed up against her upper lip. Betty was the star of the Riverdale High Welcome Committee when Adam Chisholm moved to town just a month ago, and he’d been instantly smitten with her, something she wasn’t used to. They went on a few dates and she’d even had her first makeout session in the back row of The Bijou with him, but she broke up with him a week later when she felt a void, not completely enamored with him. Adam was great, and she had his undivided attention—which was new for 14-year-old Betty who’d wanted Archie’s attention for so long—but something was…missing.

I was just thinking...if Riverdale ends up being one of those shows with three or more seasons (though with the current trend in the show's writing, I'm not sure we're even going to get more than a 10-episode order of season 3), won't we have to be introduced to Adam Chisholm when he moves to town? Since I went pre-canon and then diverged from canon, I figured I might as well throw him in there early and make him Betty's point of "experience".

There was something not there that kept her from linking her loop of the chain to Adam’s. Because the thing was, Betty had always been a dreamer. It was the reason she felt so deeply, the reason she put her heart on the line, the reason she was holding out for something or someone that would move her. She was unwilling to accept that love or a kiss couldn’t be like it was in a movie or a book. Because if it couldn’t be like that, what was the point of depicting it that way? And didn’t the people who wrote like that do so because they believed in that kind of love, in that kind of groundbreaking kiss?

After breaking up with Adam, Betty was sure she would know right away if she had something special with someone like “The Shoop Shoop Song” talked about because of one thing: it’s in his kiss.

I really wanted a 14-year-old Betty to be completely hopeful and a total dreamer. When Betty recruits Jughead to join The Blue & Gold in 1x03, regarding Jason's death, she says, "Nothing this bad was ever supposed to happen here, but it did."

If Riverdale is a story of a loss of innocence beginning on the fourth of July, then prior to that? To me, Betty would have held on tightly to her childhood fantasies, even relying on "The Shoop Shoop Song" to guide her way.

So Jughead was more concerned about how much bigger the cracks in his family’s foundation could get until they splintered completely. New Year’s Eve was a terrible celebratory tradition for alcoholics, and his father was an alcoholic without a resolution.

Every day Gladys talked about FP’s madness and self-abuse because of the alcohol, about how he was always in his own way, and about how she was sick of dealing with it. Every day she talked about leaving. And Jughead thought that she would be right to take off before she was consumed, if she really felt like that was what she needed to do. He was scared to know if she really had a plan to make that happen and even more scared to know if he would even be part of the plan. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel either way, if his mom wanted to take him with her and Jellybean, or leave him behind to deal with his father alone.

Motion City Soundtrack has a few songs about the New Year and New Year's Eve. I made reference to "Resolution" here, using the title in the first quoted paragraph. Part of a verse from the song goes She put up with so much of my madness and my self-abuse. She would tend to my wounds and fill me with food when I'd stumble in drunk for breakfast. She was right to take off before she was consumed. So I worked that into the paragraph about Gladys and FP.

“Maybe I should be more like you,” Betty said to her raven-haired friend as they reached the curve of the train tracks, where the separation of the north and south side of town began. “I shouldn’t believe in anything.”

I decided to name the story after the Vampire Weekend song "Unbelievers" pretty much because of the line Girl, you and I would die unbelievers, bound to the tracks of the train. Much earlier in the narration Jughead is described as an unbeliever and we get back to that here, with Betty's dialogue. Before I wrote a single word down, in my head I could hear this song playing in the background as I pictured Betty and Jughead walking through the snow toward the diner.

Another thing to consider is if the theme song for Bughead in 1x13 is "Believer", then this canon divergence, which would have happened a year earlier, is on the extreme opposite end. But it still ends with a kiss.

“You should just name the meal after me, Pop,” Jughead suggested to the older man. “A double cheeseburger with onion rings on the side: The Jughead Jones Special.”

Pop Tate’s laughter filled the room and warmed the soul. “I’ve already got your picture up on the wall, Juggie.” He pointed his pen in the direction of the glossy 5”x 7” of Jughead (with a cheeseburger in hand) pinned above the frame of one of the booth window sills. With a tap of the pen against his notepad, Pop added, “Can’t have the drop-ins thinking I practice favoritism, true or not.”

In case you were wondering, Pop calling Jughead by the nickname "Juggie" is, in fact, canon in 1x13 (1:00 to 1:02). You know, if any adult in Riverdale is going to call him that, I am 100% behind Pop Tate being the only adult who does.

Jughead only shook his head in response as he began walking toward the door, his boots echoing high and lonesome against the industrial tile of the diner floor. Betty followed closely behind him.

&

Jughead’s family had never had cable, not even when they’d lived in the house with the tree house in the backyard. It was growing up a Jones that had made him such an unbeliever that good things would come his way. He never let the taste of defeat wander too far from his mind. But alone at night, sometimes he imagined that when he grew up, he’d be a reclusive author, and if he did have cable, between the reruns of classic movies and his shelves full of books, he was pretty sure he’d never even have to leave the house.

Ah, yes, we have reached the obligatory reference to a song by The Gaslight Anthem in this one. The second verse from "High Lonesome" goes and the pounding in the street was your heart in four-four time, and the taste of defeat was never too far from your mind. Then, the song concludes with when our boots they hit the ground, they made a high and lonesome sound. It occured to me that I've already sort of used this song for a Bughead story before, in the last part of Lionheart. I suppose what that really means is that this is one of my favorite songs by them.

This story got kind of ridiculous. But hey, that's what I'm all about here.

[prettylittleliarsxxxx]

Since the show premiered in 2010, “Pretty Little Liars” has had a problem with statutory rape. Now, as the series winds down, it weirdly seems to be celebrating the much-discussed issue.

For seven seasons, “Pretty Little Liars” asked fans to root for Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) and Ezra Fitz (Ian Harding) ― aka “Ezria” ― despite their creepy, exploitative origins and the fact Ezra should be in jail. (The show is set in Pennsylvania where the age of consent is 16, but allows 16 and 17 year olds to only consent to those under the age of 18).

The student-teacher relationship is an all too common trope on teen TV, but at least the parents on “Riverdale” had the sense to chase Ms. Grundy out of town when they discovered she was having sex with Archie. That isn’t the case when it comes to “Pretty Little Liars.”

For years, the characters were offered plausible deniability by having 20-something Ezra meet teenage Aria in a bar. When they hook up in the bar’s bathroom, viewers are meant to assume Ezra had no idea she was underage or that she’d take a seat in his English class at Rosedale High the following day.

It’s not until Season 4 that the show reveals Ezra knew exactly who Aria was and that she was underage when he had sex with her. The big reveal that season ― Ezra was trying to write a book about Alison’s (Sasha Pieterse) “death” and began dating Aria for research ― is evidence that the series celebrates statutory rape and inappropriate relationships.

In the four seasons prior to that reveal, the series sold the “Ezria” relationship not as one where a teacher was abusing his position of power and committing statutory rape, but as star-crossed lovers who are destined to be together.

The show has somewhat improved since the five-year time jump at the start of the second half of Season 6, which allowed the teen characters to become adults and the show’s writers to no longer worry about things like final exams or age of consent laws. But even after discovering that Ezra was just dating Aria for his book all those years ago, “Ezria” is still kicking and set to walk down the aisle.

With the series finale looming, the show is finally addressing the fact that the “Ezria” relationship was born out of statutory rape, but it also seems to be celebrating its problem romanticizing dangerous relationships.

For years, the show danced around the issue and kept consequences to the vague idea of “getting in trouble,” as Dame Magazine pointed out last year. It wasn’t until the fourth season that Aria was confronted about the relationship by her principal and told, “It’s illegal for a teacher to have sex with a student.”

The most recent episode might be the show’s first attempt at addressing statutory rape head-on, when Aria recovers a police report she never filed as a teen:

I am a student at Rosewood High School and I have had a sexual relationship with my former teacher Ezra Fitz since I was a sophomore until now. I have been too ashamed to come forward, but I have come to realize Mr. Fitz is a twisted, conniving, predator and I need to stop him from doing this to anyone else. He needs to be charged with exploiting a teenager when he was in a position of power.

The episode also featured a musical dream sequence in which Aria, distraught over villain A.D.’s threat to release the report to police, has a nightmare to the tune of Elvis Presley’s “Jailhouse Rock” and imagines Ezra in a prison jumpsuit being beat bloody by other inmates.

Then, as Aria is doing the bidding of A.D. and becomes increasingly more withdrawn from Ezra, he addresses the fact that their relationship is based on a lie.

“You still have doubts about me ― about whether you can trust me or not. Maybe there’s some part of you that has never forgiven me for taking advantage of you and your friends for the sake of a book,” he tells her. “I wish that I could change history, but I can’t. I fell in love with you Aria, and this is where we are now, and I truly believe that we are stronger for having weathered those storms. Don’t you?”

With a show like “Pretty Little Liars,” it’s impossible to trust anything. But Ezra’s monologue sounds like the writers’ attempt to convince viewers to root for the couple even as they blatantly acknowledge that Ezra not only committed statutory rape, but manipulated and deceived Aria for years.

What’s most disturbing about this is that the show wants them to have a happy ending ― or so we’ve been led to believe. Creator I. Marlene King told The Hollywood Reporter in 2014 that “Ezria” “are like magnets who attract each other for hopefully the run of the show because I think they are soulmates.”

Meanwhile, Lucy Hale, who plays Aria, also shares King’s opinion and called the “Ezria” relationship “super sexy” when she spoke to Cosmopolitan in April.

“There is something about a forbidden romance that draws people to it. It had a little Romeo and Juliet vibe at certain points,” she said.

Interestingly, the one voice of reason among the three is Ian Harding, who plays, Ezra.

“One company dropped its advertising for our show in one of the early seasons, because they didn’t agree with the relationship,” he told Cosmo.  “And I was like, ‘No shit, our relationship is illegal!’”

“And Marlene said, ‘No, it’s not yours, it’s Emily’s [same-sex] relationship [that’s the problem].’ So I could be seen as a statutory rapist, and people are like, ‘I know, but love knows no bounds, as long as there is a penis and a vagina involved.”

It’s unbelievably irresponsible for a showrunner, whose series airs on Freeform (originally ABC Family) and has almost exclusively been honored by the Teen Choice Awards, to endorse a relationship like “Ezria” to its largely teen audience.

Even if the series doesn’t let “Ezria” live happily ever after― which is definitely a possibility ―  that’s still seven seasons worth of gleefully romanticizing an unhealthy and inappropriate relationship.

[salvatcrechildarchived]

[riverdalerunner]

Riverdale Runner's notes on Season 1 Episode 1 - "Chapter One: The River's Edge"

We open our investigation with an overview of Riverdale, the town herself. [ Wiki says they are filming in Vancouver. Knowing production of Supergirl was moved to Canada for S2, curious if that’s an overall move on The CW’s part to bring down costs of their shows. 4 DC Universe shows and the cost to keep Riverdale in shape must take its toll on the bottom line. ]

“RIVERDALE: A town with PEP!” [ And protein powder, we soon find out. ]

Catching our first glimpses of the Blossom twins, driving out to the river. [ The cinematography for this whole opening is stunning. The contrast of the forest and river with the Blossoms with breathtaking. My first reaction was to fall in love with a Cheryl and her whole look. The GLOVES! ]

Hello, Jughead! Fellow snooper into the town’s tragic death. He also seems to know that this story has only just begun and will be keeping record of what happens in the Blossom Death mystery. [ Also a big welcome back to TV to Cole Sprouse. Been following him and his brother on Twitter and social media the last couple years. Seem like funny guys. Always thought there had to be more depth to their acting. Glad to see one of them explore that talent further. Curious to know if his twin will ever give us “Jughead 2” moment. Perhaps “Evil Twin Jughead”? Nah. But it IS The CW so you never know…. ]

Introducing Veronica Lodge. [ Jughead calls her a “mystery”. Or so it seems since his monologue is taking place during her introduction. I’m excited to know in what ways Veronica’s story unfolds. But for now, it’s just nice to see one of our main girls for the first time. ]

Betty and Kevin hanging out in her room. [ I would scream “SCANDAL!” due to Betty’s shirtless intro but, you know, Kevin…. ]

“Game changer. Archie got hot!” [ Yup. Very tongue in cheek. Still unclear why Betty didn’t see Archie all summer. You live next door to him, you can see his bedroom from yours, and his dad’s company is IN Riverdale. 🤔 ]

Oh. Internship. [ You do those in high school? ]

Entering into Pop’s, Little Black Riding Hood.

POP CULTURE REFERENCE: Truman Capote. [ Appropriate for a Veronica moment. ]

Mrs. Cooper laying it on heavy. [ So clearly we aren’t meant to like her. And they succeed at making that very easy to do. I hate her. For someone so overbearing and protective, surprised Betty topless in a room with a boy, even Kevin, seems implausible now. Even if he is gay. All boys are the same right? *insert eye roll here* ]

Reggie is giving us full on jock. “Diesel” is a meat head’s version of “fleek”.

Kevin is available for all your social needs. [ Word to the wise, asking someone about their father’s alleged crimes is PROBABLY not a good ice breaker. ]

POP CULTURE REFERENCE : Blue Jasmine

JOSIE AND THE MUTHA FUCKING PUSSYCATS!!! [ Bring me the vocals, bring me the sass, bring me the looks! Queen Josie and her pussycats are going to give me LIFE! ]

Bye, Archie. You can’t play with the girls.

Veronica Lodge will try anything once. And how will she know what she likes until she’s had them all?

The “Jason Died” assembly. [ Cheryl’s veil was cute. Jughead ain’t buying what Cheryl is selling though. Can’t blame him. ]

Archie/Ms. Grundy [ GROOOOOOSS! I don’t like any of it. I don’t even really want to discuss it. It’s messy and yucky and I’m not enjoying it. ]

Mrs. Lodge can’t seem to catch a break. [ If I have to pick any of the parents as my favorite at this point, it’s her. ]

Incredible? I don’t know, Ronnie. [ To answer your question, Archie can’t make smart love decisions. That’s what he can’t do. ]

That was one awkward hair flip, Cheryl.

POP CULTURE REFERENCE: Twitter handles.

POP CULTURE REFERENCE: Season 5 Betty Draper. [ Stop. It. Favorite pop mention of the episode by far. ]

I aspire to be Queen Bae of Drab High.

Archie was sexually abused by his teacher. Archie needs someone to talk to FO REALS. [ I’m vomiting in my mouth. ]

THE BETTY/VERONICA KISS. [ Thank you to Cheryl for being us, the audience, in that moment and making it clear girl on girl kisses are not a bomb dropping moment anymore. I did like that its over and done with though. Also, keep an eye on that Betty. She has something deep inside waiting to come out. ]

Veronica standing up for her girl. Perfection. Veronica is killing it one episode in. I’m here for it.

Betty/Veronica heart to heart. [ Truth hurts. But it sets you free. Veronica is kinda lucky that’s happening to her now but she’s only in high school. She has a lot more life to go. Betty definitely needed someone to talk to about Polly. Recognizing her mother isn’t okay in the head is pretty important. It’s hard to see your parent’s flaws. ]

“Archiekins”. Love.

Betty’s mom is the worst. [ The actress herself is doing an excellent job. The character is pissing me oooooooff. ]

Mr. Lodge making sure his girls stay in style. [ I’m so excited to see this storyline be fleshed out down the line. Hope Mrs. Lodge has a good way of keeping that money off the record. I need my Lodge girls fashion forward. ]

Mr. Andrews lecture. [ Seriously, that was just great life advice in general. Archie should pay attention to his dad. And Mr. Andrews should PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HIS SON. HE’S BEING TOYED WITH BY HIS GROWN ASS TEACHER!!! ]

The threesome dance date. [ Keeping the spirit of the Triangle alive on screen. While I don’t want it to be a real thing we struggle through as an audience it wouldn’t be our Riverdale if these three didn’t have a little bit of the comic love triangle flair. The CW is pretty great at failing the Bechdel test frequently. I really hope this show does a better job at showcasing girls in a way that doesn’t revolve their every storyline around romance. ]

Moose is gay/bi/curious!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

ARCHIE STAY AWAY!!!

Josie and the Pussycats can perform a song a week. I’m okay with it. [ And I will download the album on Apple Music at the end of the season happily. ]

Cheryl this is NOT a healthy way of grieving. Making others miserable will only make you feel better until the next day when you wake up and you are still a bitch and your brother is still dead.

Veronica is asking the real questions. [ As much as I hate the Veronica/Archie scene it was very necessary for the real Archie fans tuning in. ]

The fact that Veronica seems to genuinely regret her actions to cause Betty some hurt redeemed her to me. Archie is just a stupid boy and problematic.

Ronnie really wishes she was at the Met Ball. [ Once, smart. Twice, easy. ]

Jughead is me. I am Jughead. [ Conspiracies running amuck in Riverdale. ]

So Archie and Jughead have had some issues. The sooner that gets fixed the better. Those two belong together as much as Betty and Veronica do.

Archie breaking Betty’s heart. [ Necessary but sad. We’ll see where that goes as the story progresses. Archie telling Betty he isn’t good enough for her isn’t a good enough answer. ]

Kevin and Moose are finally alone and doing “not-gay” things. [ Also glad Kevin seems eager to go at Moose’s pace. IMPORTANT: Always make sure your sexual partner is comfortable with what you are going to be doing. ]

AAAAAAND JASON WAS SHOT. So much for Cheryl’s drowning story.

Well. Jughead wasn’t wrong. Riverdale isn’t the Riverdale we all knew ‘til now. But it’s not bad.

[ I WILL be doing these for current and future episodes. Will try to get to episode 2 and 3 before Thursday. Then you will be able to expect them by Sunday following their releases unless otherwise noted. Please follow me! I would love to follow you, go over notes, bounce theories around, you name it! Until next time, Riverdale Runner editor out. ]

[fanfic-blog]

Junior Takeover

Yup! That’s me. You’re probably NOT wondering how I got here. But I’m gonna tell you anyways. So sit down, shut up, and enjoy the insane story that was the end of my junior year. : *begin flashback*

“JJ. Calm down. I know you’re excited that Chris asked you out, but could you maybe not yell? Remember that we’re in a car. And ,ya know, about to walk into a funeral.”

Nobody expected Brock Smith to go out that way. He was the star quarterback, was dating the head cheerleader, had a perfect 4.0 Gpa, and was bound for Auburn University. We all though he was invincible after he escaped that drunk driving accident last year after prom without a scratch. He shouldn’t have died because a bird attacked him, and plucked his eyes out. The news said he was found by a tent on the shore of Lake Hamilton, having bleed out. Although some people think that it wasn’t a bird; they seem to think that Brock wasn’t alone that night by the lake. If he wasn’t alone and it wasn’t just a crackpot bird attack, then why would someone extract his beautiful hazel orbs? All I can say, is the fanfic writters of Hawkins High School had the time of their lives using his death as a way to kill off characters in their stories.

Everyone in the completely average city of Hot Springs loved Brock Smith, so why only five other people showed up for his funeral, I’m not sure; Patricia and Jared Smith (Brock’s parents), Joe Jones, Angela Williams, and Chris Peterson. Hannah leaned over and whispered as she saw Chris walk in and stand menacingly in the back corner, “Chris didn’t even know Brock, did he? He only moved into town a month ago.” I turn just enough to see him in my peripheral vision, he looks….psychotic? Is that the right word? Hell, I don’t know how to describe the deranged look on his seemingly bloodless face.

When Chris first showed up over spring break, Hannah saw him walking around downtown. Peterson, as everyone calls him, has gauges and wears skinny jeans tighter than that of any of the try-hard girls in this crummy stuck-up school. He stands at six feet even with beautiful golden brown hair that vaguely reminds me of fresh baked cookies. He can often be found standing in the corner alone with his Juul. His pasty white skin looks like that Edward dude from those wretched Twilight movies. Hannah often blows up my Snapchat with grainy pictures of him showing me the stunning young man that she felt was to be my “high school sweetheart”; she says that because he’s the complete opposite of me.

My full name is Janet Marie Jones, I go by Jane but my close friends (basically just Hannah) call me JJ. I’m only five foot three inches tall with jet black hair that falls over my shoulders like water falls over Niagara Falls. I never leave the house without my notebook and laptop. Anytime I’m not hanging out with Hannah, I sit and write. I’m currently working on a murder mystery, very similar to season one of Riverdale.

*buzzzzz* I look down at my phone to see a message from an unknown number.

“Hey Jane! It’s Peterson You free to hang out Friday night? I was thinking we could go on that date. Maybe dinner and a movie?”

“Yeah, I’m free. That sounds great, what movie?”

“Have you seen Booksmart yet?”

“No”

“Okay cool. I’ll pick you up at 6:30 on Friday”

“Sounds like a plan!” I hit send and flop back on the bed, beginning to ponder what to wear on a date with a guy like Peterson.

Friday night rolls around and I still can’t decide what to wear, so I pull out my favorite outfit; a white t-shirt with grey horizontal stripes, a tan brown oversized knit sweater, some dark blue skinny jeans that are cuffed at the bottom, and my black ankle boot wedges. “It’s 6:25,” I murmur to myself “he should be here soon”.

He pulls into the driveway at 6:29. I walk out to the midnight black 1967 Chevy Impala (I only know what kind of car it is because I watch Supernatural and Dean is such a babe). “Damn I’m glad I killed Brock, I would have never had a chance with you if he were still alive” Chris whispers into my hair as he pulls me in for a hug.

“Awe, that’s sweet. I would have given you a chan….. WAIT! did you just say you killed Brock?! WHY THE FUCK would you think that he would have stood in the way of you getting a date with me?!”

“I saw the way you looked at him, the longing in your eyes, the sadness that came along with knowing you couldn’t have him. You would have spent the rest of your junior year pining over a senior, that you had no flipping chance with. Brock didn’t even know you exist Janet!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I huff at him, knowing EXACTLY what he’s talking about. I’d spent every day since the beginning of freshman year wishing that Brock was dating me instead of that dumb cheerleader. “Please tell me you’re joking about having killed Brock?”

“If it makes you feel better, yeah, I’m joking.”

“Okay good”

We sit down in the back of the theater with our large white gatorades, popcorn, and junior mints. The lights dim and the movie begins.

*present time Jane telling story* “Ya know? Now that I think about it, I don’t remember anything about that movie. We made out through the whole thing.” *continue flashback*

We get in the car after the movie. I assume he’s taking me home. But after twenty minutes of driving in the opposite direction of my house, I speak up and ask “Where are we going? My house is the other way.”

“I want to show you something. If that’s okay?”

“Uh…. yeah that’s okay I guess. Can I know where we’re going at least?”

“Lake Ouachita”

Chris puts the car in park and turns to look at me. “So how are you with blood” he inquires in a voice so low, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Not too great. One time my dad and I went hunting and he killed a deer. When he cut into it, he accidentally slit it’s carotid artery; causing blood to squirt everywhere. Why do you ask?”

“Just come with me”

I hesitantly slide out of the car and follow him down to the waterfront. I can see an old tent that’s been torn to shreds, probably by the recent storms we’ve had. As we get closer to the former campsite, Chris turns on his flashlight. I follow the light with my eyes, not daring to move any further once he stops walking. My eyes first land on what appears to be a blood splattered machete. “That’s a little weird” I think to myself. Just past that, I see… A BODY?! AM I SEEING THIS CORRECTLY?!

*end flashback*

“Chris what are we doing here? Do the cops know about this? Did you do this?”

“I told you I killed Brock. I’m a serial killer JJ, it’s what I do.”

He turns towards the water, looking out at the houses across the lake; not realizing that I’ve gained one giant ass kife. I rear back, not yet used to the weight in my hand, taking a swing at Chris. I aim for his head, but miss and purge him of his left arm. He falls to the ground with a blood curdling scream. Seeing him laying on the ground writhing in pain, all I can think of is that damn mortal kombat game saying, “FINISH HIM!”. I plant my right foot on his chest to hold him in place, and swiftly behead him.

“Great! Now I have a dead body on my hands. What am I supposed to do?”

I wipe the blood that was on my hands on his chest, and remove my phone from my back pocket. “Hello? Hannah? I need some help. Meet me at Lake Ouachita.”

Forty minutes pass, and I start to wonder, “What if someone in one of those houses heard him scream and called cops? What if I get caught trying to hid the body?” Eventually, Hannah pulls up in her dad's Ford pickup. Luckily that man always keeps some tools and tarps in the bed. I’m so fortunate to have a friend like her.

“Thank god for Tumblr teaching me how to hide bodies” I joke as we bury the last piece of Chris.

*flash forwards 15 years*

As I sit here in my office at the Hot Springs Police Department, I contemplate my past. After that unusual first date, I gave up my dream of becoming a world renowned murder-mystery author, and enrolled in classes at the community college. Once I graduated with a degree in criminal justice, I joined the Police Academy.

The End

[month9books]

Riverdale Recap and Review - Season 1 - Chapter 7 - In a Lonely Place by Andrew Buckley

That 50’s style comic book opening scene with Jughead wearing his crown and Archie in the sweater with the bowtie was beautifully shot, iconically accurate, and all sorts of creepy. This is something that Riverdale does well, I’ve seen it since episode one and they’ve managed to maintain it almost every single week so far: they commit to the weekly theme and they hit it hard right on the offset. Sure, they’ve only got 42(ish) minutes to work with so there’s no time to beat around the bush, but major props have to go to the producers, writers, and showrunners for consistently hitting the right notes in what’s become an almost perfect symphony of characters and story arcs. This week’s themes of ‘home’ and ‘hope’ are driven like a knife through Archie’s back during that opening sequence that narratively asks the question as to what a home truly is. We’ve seen so many different homes in Riverdale already, it’s easy to see why that particular theme probably gets revisited more than most but it was especially poignant this week with Jughead’s story. So let’s get to it . . .

I feel Archie redeemed himself a little this week after last week’s severe dip in his collective IQ. While he doesn’t shine through as being incredibly intuitive (he managed to ignore the fact that Jughead was homeless for how long?) he grabs some major points for having a heart of gold. He feels bad that he wasn’t there for Betty during her time of need and he fights to help Jughead by arranging for Mr. Jones to go back to work even though he doesn’t even have the full back story yet, he just wants to help his hurting friend. His dedication as a friend despite differences or awkwardness actually gave him a few moments to shine. Yes, he’s completely overshadowed by everyone else on the show but I still feel he gained a little ground this week.

After Polly’s magical escape from the mental institution, she sneaks (like a ninja) into her parent’s attic only to be found by Betty. All the characters in Riverdale have such strong personalities and stories, I’m having a little trouble getting behind Polly though. While she’s obviously not the ‘party girl’ that the Blossoms paint her to be, there’s something not quite right about that girl, and her continuing to cling to wanting to go live on a farm somewhere just doesn’t seem grounded in reality.

Either way, Betty helps her, first by appealing to the Blossoms via Cheryl, and then by Veronica’s intervention to move her into the Lodge residence. The Blossoms once again reiterated that they’re the big, evil, rich family of Riverdale by pulling a Rumpelstiltskin. They want Jason’s baby but they couldn’t care less about Polly, and I can’t completely blame them for that because we really haven’t been given enough reason to sympathize with Polly just yet. The Blossoms want the baby, but Cheryl, in an off-character moment of morality, wants what’s best for Jason’s unborn child and turns on her own family to place Polly in a safe place. This is sure to cause even more conflict in the Blossom household but it looks like Cheryl is beginning to hold her own against her deranged mother, which is nice to see.

We should get this out of the way before I get into this next story point. I love Veronica. Not the character as such, but more Camila Mendes’ portrayal is just so spot on that it’s scary. Which is why this one is tough to write about because her grandiose sweeping gestures and on-point wordplay has been stunning so far. But this week our dear Ronnie headed into some cliche-ridden waters and it was a shame because the character deserves better. Veronica holds a grudge against her mother for forging her signature, not because it was wrong, funnily enough, but because it would paint her in a negative light with her father (daddy issues much?). She proceeds to head out for a night on the town (Riverdale has a nightclub? And a busy one? On a school night?) with Kevin, Reggie, and Josie in order to defy her mother into negotiating with her. It feels like a classic rich girl move and that is too much of a departure from what we’ve come to know about Veronica. While it represents her past life, it’s a life she’s determined to leave behind but goes ahead with it anyway. In the end, all it boils down to is a quick convo with her mother, and all is well again in the Lodge household. Although it will be interesting to see how Mr. Lodge reacts to Hermione’s deception. 

Hats (and paper crowns) off to Skeet Ulrich for almost completely dominating the performance side of this episode of Riverdale. I say ‘almost’ because Jughead is the one that steals the show and delivers the feels. Jughead has pulled a Harry Potter and now lives under the stairs at school. We learn the reason why is because his Dad is somewhat of a deadbeat and his Mom and sister have left town. Father/son stuff always rips my heart a new one so I fully felt the story this week. Jughead wants his Dad to get his act together and he’s holding onto hope that it can actually happen and that it will eventually lead to a happy home, in one form or another. After Archie and Jughead get FP his job back, it all seems to be going well, until they head out for dinner and old demons join them at the table at Pops. We learn the backstory of Fred and FP’s friendship, their doomed partnership, and the clear signs that they hold each other responsible. I think Fred comes out on top here as FP obviously has some issues when it comes to making the right decisions above his own self interests, but they’re both a little at fault and I was shocked that Archie actually cut through the crap and addressed the issue with his Dad. Sure, FP was bad for business but did Fred ever consider what it would mean for Jughead’s family? In true Fred Andrews fashion, he quickly redeems himself by inventing an alibi for Jughead to help prove he’s not the murderer.

Jughead getting taken downtown and questioned was a bit of a leap for Sheriff Keller but I think he’s really grasping at straws at this point. The killer is in town, we’ve already met him, but no one knows who it is. There were a lot of great scenes between Jughead and his Dad but their relationship, and the weekly themes, are driven home by the confrontation behind the police station. We can truly believe that FP wants to clean up his act and wants Jughead to be proud of him, but he lacks the motivation and willpower to do it and prefers to continually blame others for his actions. Jughead on the other hand clings on to hope that his Dad can turn his life around and rebuild their home as a family, but it was clear in that scene that Jughead doesn’t truly believe it to be possible and, furthermore, his Dad knows it too. Which is why Jughead moves into the Andrews household and FP willingly lets him go.

This week’s cliffhanger piece is the sight of Jason’s jacket hanging in Mr. Jones’ closet. We last saw that jacket in the hidden car last week so it could be that Mr. Jones torched the car, Jason had multiple jackets, or someone else fired up the vehicle and then planted the jackets in Mr. Jones’ trailer . Mr. Jones is too obvious to be the killer so we can scratch him off the list. (As my Polly/Betty multiple personality theory got shot all to hell, I have a new one . . .  which I’ll share before next week’s episode. Stay tuned!)

What is a happy home in Riverdale? It almost doesn’t exist because every household is so rife with drama and problems that it seems impossible. But this episode was all about hope for a happy home and we can only assume that our dear characters will find exactly that, in one form or another. Even if it’s just an air mattress on a friend’s floor. Just hopefully not anytime too soon because the drama on this show is just so much wicked freakin fun! 

STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .

- Polly jumped out of a window and, despite there being blood on the glass, she survives completely unscathed. I think it’s safe to say that Polly is a mutant/immortal/vampire or something to that effect.

- The Cooper’s attic is the place scary things go to die. What’s with those freakin dolls?!

- The Betty/Jughead (Bughead as the kids are calling it online) is still pushed to the back of the bus again this week. Juggie putting his arm around Betty causing Archie and Ronnie to address the gesture brought some of it to the surface but it’s still not sitting at the forefront of the story. Understandable though as there’s a ton of other stuff going on.

- The Team Blossom hunting crew has actual hunting dogs. Dogs are well known to be very useful when tracking pregnant teenagers.

- I’m seriously looking forward to when we get to see Mr. Lodge in the flesh. It has to happen. We all know it!

- Mr. Blossom’s wig disturbs me more and more every single week.

- Alice Cooper continues to be evil. Not Penelope Blossom evil. But evil. Press conference outside the church? What? Why? Worst mother of the year award goes to . . . 

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN both published by Curiosity Quills Press. Andrew also writes under the pen name 'Jane D. Everly' for his HAVELOCK series of novels. Look for his first upper middle grade novel HAIR IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES available now fromMonth9Books with the sequel scheduled for release in August 2017.Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on several new novels, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with one beautiful wife, three kids, one cat, one needy dog, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

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