#❝ i can't stop myself and i don't want to‚ either ❞「 dash games 」 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gensokyogarden · 9 months

Text

it's almost new years and you guys have been there for me so much during this year so tonight I do want to make a post trying to recognize a lot of people within the community. My head is pretty fuzzy right now so I fear I'm gonna forget some folks, in which case I'm honestly genuinely very sorry, but know that so many of you have touched my life in a positive way. Since I wasn't fully around on Thanksgiving either, consider this my chance of telling you all that I'm thankful for you too.

Some of you may not see this. Either because you don't follow this blog or you've been offline for a while. But I hope even if you don't see this post you still are able to understand my feelings towards you.

At the moment I would prefer if people don't reblog this. I'm not the most comfortable with my out of character thoughts being spread around. However if you know someone in this but think they won't see it on their own you are welcome to link them to this. Also if you're mentioned in this and you REALLY want to save it, I guess I can't stop you from reblogging.

Ruler: It feels like anytime I'm in a rough spot you always have kind words for me. With how often you're in character I just deeply respect you always breaking it for me. You've helped me to feel safe in the community during a very difficult time. That means the world to me.

Annette-mun: I know we only met a year ago but you have become an incredibly close friend to me. Being honest, I rank you as one of my best friends. I have fun with all of the boardgames we play together as well as the connections we've made between a lot of our muses. I always want to recognize all the work you put in sending me those ask spams. I'm sorry that because of head stuff I haven't been able to answer most of the new set. It makes me feel as if I've failed to respect the effort that you have put in. But I hope some day in the future I can fix that. I'm very glad we're friends.

Vel: You're a really funny friend and I care about you a lot. I feel that sometimes I'm not sensitive enough to things that may bother you and worry I may have upset you at times in the past. If I have, I'm really sorry. You write Kyouko really well and your ocs are also quite fun. Thanks for letting me make Nagi. Sometimes you say things that make me feel you are self-concious about your blog and other things. So I just wanna reiterate that I am in your corner and here for you whenever you need.

Slap: I was shy towards you at first, I'll admit. It may not seem it but I'm kinda a shy person in general and I'm nervous to warm up to people, but I'm glad you joined the Touhou community. You're a really funny guy. I love reading your posts on my dash and now I also love playing the occasional game with ya. Your ability to do voice and to commit to bits is astounding. I'm really glad I met you.

Argo: You're someone who is always there for me. I really appreciate that. I left the Fate community for personal reasons years ago now. I'm very glad that, despite that, I still ended up meeting you. Because you've been such a good friend to me. I'm glad that you've gotten somewhat into Touhou because it gives us more room to interact. You've really been there when I've needed you. Often you apologize and say you don't do enough but you've done so much for me. You're special to me.

Hoche: Through all the struggles I've gone through you have been very supportive of me. You have been a level headed voice of support and advice. I think that if it were not for you I would have been worse off in many different circumstances. Aside from that you are a very talented writer. I find myself stunned by some of what I've seen you write. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being my friend.

Zane: You always show me cool warhammer things and that's special to me. I also really like Nyalter. I love ocs in general, but I think you have done a phenomenal job in giving her a life and story that is uniquely hers. I find it to be quite inspirational and it really pushes me to work harder on my own original characters.

Amber: I have mentioned this before but you were the first person to welcome me into the community. That is always going to be special to me. During that period when you left I teared up a fair amount because it felt like things would always be so different with you gone. I'm very glad that you came back. I really like all your ocs. I'm glad Eri isn't gone but I'm also really happy to be seeing the opportunity for your other ocs to shine as well. They're all fun, but I'm particularly a fan of Anna.

Kay: You've given me some of the advice that has helped me the most when I have been in a bad spot. I can't thank you enough for that. You've stopped me from making really bad decisions. You've also just been a fun and supportive friend. I am very interested in your Reimu and the story arc you've created with the hakurei god.

Swigg: I know we haven't talked much lately. I think our schedules don't line up the best. But you recently mentioned trying to get back into Tumblr. I'll be very happy if you do. Your ocs are fun and you put a lot of love and care into the canon characters you write. I think you add a lot to the community.

Sethy: I didn't know it for a while but back in the Fate community I followed your arknights blog and admired you there. I'm super glad I have gotten the opportunity to meet you and to become your friend. I think that all the things you do are so cool. Like you're a vtuber that's incredible. I always wanted to stream but could never work up the courage. You also know the creators of all the walfas I love. I just think its so cool. You have such a history within the community. I know that you suffered a very bad tragedy this year. I don't believe I was in a good enough headspace at that time to have provided you with the support a friend should have given and I deeply regret that. I just hope you're doing well.

Noka: I think you're a real sweetie and also really funny. I'm glad to see you posting on your sfw blog a lot more again because I really love seeing you on my dash. I'm hoping that we can do a lot more threads in the future because its always fun to write our muses together.

Minnie: Maybe the only person with the same brain worms as me. I know that lately we have not talked much but I hope you are doing well. I just wanna say that I really love your art.

Aurora: My apprentice and buddy, hehe. I know I haven't been around much but I want you to know that I'm glad you decided to join the rpc. You're so full of ideas and kindhearted. You have such phenomenal oc ideas and have such a talent for making danmaku. I think someday you may be the centerpiece of the community.

Sats: We haven't spoken too often but like Amber you were one of the first folks to interact with me in the community. Alongside that I find your writing to be phenomenal. As are your headcanons. The work that you put in to research, especially on folklore, is just so inspirational. It drives me to want to learn everything I can.

Momi: Hey Momi. It's been a while since you've been around and I miss you a lot. I know we still message on discord occasionally so its not like I can't reach out to ya. But I just miss you being in the rpc a lot. You were such a great writer and always doing something fun. But I imagine you've got a whole bunch of difficult challenges ahead of you. I've heard the career you're pursuing is really rough. I hope that you're thriving in it though.

Sarience: You've always been a good pal to me. I have a lot of fun writing with Neka in both forms as well as your other muses. There's a lot of asks from you I haven't answered yet. I'm really sorry about that. It feels disrespectful. Still I hope to be able to do more in the future. Thank you for always being interested in interacting with my muses, even when I was very new and unestablished.

Kyo: I really really like everytime that I see you on my dash. You write your muses in such a fun and engaging way. I hope that we get to interact a lot more in the future. I also know you've started something new in the last few months, not gonna be specific since I'm not sure if you've shared that part of your personal life on Tumblr, but I wish you the best of luck at it. I think you're going to succeed hard!

Ran: Ran I guess I just first wanna say I consider you a really good and special friend. When we've spoken you've often alluded to social anxiety and feeling like you've said embarassing things. So I want to restate that I've never been put off by what you've said and I love talking to you. As well as roleplaying and doing boardgames. I have so much fun pairing our muses up our causing wacky hijinks. I haven't seen you on your blogs much lately. Maybe I've just missed you but if not I hope you return to the rpc soon. It's not the same place without you.

Metal: You've been a long time friend to me by this point. Longer than a lot of folks on this list. I really appreciate that a lot. We haven't talked too much lately but I hope you're doing well. I also know not all of our fandoms sync up but I'm always down to interact anyways.

Nep: Hey Nep I haven't really seen you on Tumblr lately. I'm hoping that's just because we've been active at different times but if not I hope you're back soon. If you're not, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I think that you're real fun to write with and you've got original characters I'm excited to do much more with. I also believe that you had an event while I was gone that I'll hopefully be able to catch up on sometime soon.

Koi: I know I've not been around much lately but I hope that you're doing well. I've not really been in the headspace for horror lately but you're very good at bringing a unique horror flair to things.

Plumber: Hey we don't really personally know each other all that well but you're always making fun and wacky posts that I love to see on my dash. It feels like the rpc would be a lot less fun without you here. You also seem to be an incredibly kind person.

Kaali: A friend I've had for quite a while now but that I don't talk to enough. Sorry about that I'm just genuinely not the best with conversations. I have mad respect for all the work you put into your original characters and into your ideas. Like you really pull out all the stops.

Awoo: I've admired your ability to create interesting and fun original characters a lot. Several decisions I've made to develop my skills as a roleplayer have been inspired by you. I know you've had some mental health struggles of your own and I haven't heard from you lately so I hope you're doing alright wherever you are.

Sades: During some really difficult moments you were there for me when not many other people were. I'm always going to appreciate that. You're also the reason I got into Touhou. Which means that without you, chances are I woule not have met the vast majority of people here or found a community where I feel I belong.

Cobalt: I am always ecstatic when I see your posts on my dash. I love your Chen and think that you're a lot of fun. I have not been around much but when I have been I've seen you talking about things like not feeling you have much to do in the community. I can't make decisions for you but I do want to say that I think you are a fundamental piece of our rpc. I would be sad not having you here.

Teeps: I was shy about approaching you at first but you're incredibly cool. A lot of the fandoms you are in I'm not in but your posts get me interested in them anyways. Like I have no clue who that green sonic character is but you give her such an energy. I'm real glad to know ya. As far as the 2hu rpc goes you've been around a lot longer than me and I love hearing your own personal that you've developed.

Cait: I need to pop in and catch your streams more. I think that you're very cool to see on the dash. I especially love the way that you write your Sakuya. I really cherrish her interactions with my Reimu.

Sev: First of all. A while ago you sent me a very kind message wishing me well in my mental health struggles. I was not in the best place then so I did not appropriately respond. So thank you for that it truly meant a lot to me. I believe that you put a stunning amount of work into the characters you write, giving them so much detail and layers. Its inspiring and I just really want to appreciate you for it.

Hanafuda: You haven't been around much and last we spoke you alluded to a rough spot. So I hope if you ever see this that you're doing well. It was always fun having another Miko on the dash for mine to banter with. I also looked forward to seeing more of the other muses you played. Maybe someday you'll return.

Frozen: Everytime I see one of your posts it makes me smile. Honestly you've got some of the funniest jokes in the fandom. Some I don't get but I still feel they'd be hilarious if I got them. Also I have noticed you often commission art for other people. I find that to be a very sweet and kindhearted thing. So I consider you to be the heart of the community.

Fox: I don't know you very well but I've recently seen your multimuse popping up and it seems very fun. So I want to get to know ya in the future.

Chiru: We've not really spoken but I think you make some really great posts. Very well written headcanons and roleplays. So I just wanna say I'm always happy seeing you on my dash.

Draco: you're not in the touhou fanbase but you have been a long time friend. I haven't heard much from you lately so I hope you're doing well. I'm here if ya need me.

Sturm: I think that all your fairy posts are incredibly. You truly are a star of my dashboard. Hopefully someday we'll interact more. I'd like that.

Xana: You seem to have so much lore for your blogs, its really cool. It seems you've been around a long while so there's a lot of history. Someday I'd like to sit down and hear all about it from you. I also find your writing to be quite fun.

Jacob: we don't interact too much but I'm always excited to see someone posting walfas images. So that has always made you stick out in my dash and brighten it. Hope you're doing well.

Geisthonoredferry: As of yet, I don't believe we've interacted. But you're always liking my posts thst's something I really appreciate. Hopefully sometime I can get to know your oc.

Carp: Last I saw you were in a rough spot so I hope things are well now. You're newer to my dash but you seem very kind hearted and jovial. Also your ocs sre red as hell and go've got good face claim tastes.

Crim: You're a real cool friend with a lot of cool ideas. I love any interactions that our muses have together. Although my favorite is Kutaka/Eiki because it's somehow both a very obvious ship and yet a rare one. I think that they are very cute together. I also like the sisterhood of Reimu and Kisume. It's an unexpected but fun dynamic.

Mugenri-mun: I don't believe I know your screen name but you've been real supportive of me through my hardship and gave me a person to speak to. I would not be in as good a place without you. Also I'm glad someone is repping Len'en.

Kcmeiji & Closedheartedgirl: I wanted to note you both as you are both Komeiji blogs thay popped up and then disappeared while I've been got on hiatus. I just think that's a bit disappointing. The Komeiji are some of my favorites.

That's about all I have to say. It was kind of tough to word it all out but those are things I want y'all to know.

#beyond the border ~ ooc

23 notes · View notes

scummy-writes · 3 months

Text

I do like talking to everyone on here a lot. I, admittedly, do not follow people often and I do not venture into the tags often, because I want to curate my experience and not really run into takes or some things that i am not really a fan of seeing. This ends up making it to where I don't reblog much past whatever gets on my dash or is shared in my server, and me not knowing many many people. (in fact, I am forever haunted by not knowing people who were huge fans of characters and me not clocking it and talking otherwise to them.)

and further. hm. My viewpoint on blogs are that they are for whatever we want them to be. This is a sideblog for my writing, but it's also where I talk about my related interests about whatever game I am writing fanfiction for. Which means I just... post my thoughts a lot. it's almost like an archive of my thoughts and opinions on the games and similar, as well as attempts to talk to other people and to reblog things I have read or appreciated when I had the spoons. I've been doing this since day one of this blog, which is nearly eight years old by now.

I can't know how everyone views this blog. My assumption is that the reasons a majority of you are here is due to liking my fanfics, what I reblog, the thoughts I share, we're friends of some sort, or a combo of the four. Since I write, I'll share writing advice from others and share experiences of my personal issues with writing, and with other subjects as well if asked.

Iiii. don't enjoy the weird pedestal-ism. I don't enjoy people not treating me as an equal in the ways of putting me above them/others in either a 'positive' way, or some weird...seething....way. I've been saying to myself and a bit on here for a while that there is no way this is happening, but some ways I've been spoken to in the past few months, through various anons and some discussions I've had on here, makes me realize otherwise. I'm not super happy about it. It makes me a bit confused on how things work at times. In 99% of cases, barring some weird anons or arguments, I try to treat people as I would want to be treated. I want equal grounds.

It's fine to enjoy my thoughts or what I write about- and I appreciate it greatly! I enjoy the comments and absolutely love the kind discussion that it can spark, and even the silly discussions!! (I am a silly person in general!!!!) that's not what I am discussing.

I'm moreso saying.... like hey. I am just a chick out here, writing sloppy fanfiction in my spare time, having a blog dedicated to that and talking about my hyperfixation in some way or form. I am not a 'queen bee' (i am forever perplexed by that anon), I am not part of some imaginary 'mean girls' clique in this fandom, I do not have any 'fandom duties' tied to this blog. I'm not important in any way. I'm just chatting to people I've slowly felt less anxious around, wordvomiting, and writing up the daydreams I've had over this game. That's it. Nothing more, and probably less than how some people have built me up.

I can't really stop people from perceiving me in specific ways or another, but. I can request for you guys to just treat me like a normal person. I'm not worth putting on a pedestal or anything similar, and I sure as shit am not worth some of the odd vitriol I have received over.......... pixels.

#scum talks #unsure how to word a lot of this but I am hoping this makes sense #anyway. this blog is for my yapping and for my fanfics. please do not take it more seriously than I take it.

8 notes · View notes

indomitableblackdragon · 6 months

Text

I can't figure out this spacing thing and I'm not about to find out. So hey! I'm Allul (They/Them, trying to figure that thing out)! I'm that fucking creature that's flooding your dash with posts about a boat girl and whatever other shenanigans my mind decides to get up to. I'd say I should apologize but really the longer you know me the more you realize this is just how I live my life

I'm 26 (Not for long) and a terrible chronic gacha addict that probably should've stopped a long time ago. But since i haven't I now have adopted boats (as this blog shows) along with....

androids

horse girls

very bisexual prisoners

food personifications

goblins

cinnamon rolls

and plenty of other random things that go in and out of my mind on the daily. This may come at a surprise to plenty of people but I literally haven't even been here a year yet (shocking I know). Most of my writing career has been either super bad fanfics, skype rp (yes this sadly was part of my life), and forums of recently. Only after being dragged here by a few friends did I realize what I was missing out on and I'm glad I joined! I promise you I'm not intimidating as I may seem (If I even come off as intimidating) and really I'm a DM away from blowing your eardrums off about whatever you want. Like lets be real my first blog here was a goddamn pokemon. I think that says everything you need to know.

Anyway next is checks notes about myself and that's problematic. Because I have no idea how to do that :3. According to my friends this meme explains it best

But as expected writing is my hobby (go figure) and beyond that is probably video games. A lot and a ALOT of RPGS, Fighting Games, and whatever is out there to get my serotonin running. Currently I'm down in the mines playing Granblue Fantasy Relink, Granblue Fantasy Versus Rising (are you noticing the trend), and dabbling in some other ventures (Gundam Versus if you want to know how niche my tastes get. I also collect plushes!

in line with my crippling Granblue addiction music CD's!

But yeah if it wasn't obvious I love talking about literally anything. My interests are kinda all over the place but most people can vouch that I'm a damn good listener. And that includes plotting even if my mentality usually is just a "fuck it we ball one" rather than really planning it out (I do love planning too! But sometimes you really just gotta go off and never stop). If you don't find me here on NJ's Blog well don't worry I have like 11 more as well. Featuring...

Morgan le Fay (Fate) (@talesofrainandstars_

Melusine (Also from Fate) (@robustdragonheart)

Nian (Arknights) (@unfetteredfreedom)

Mika ("Archive that may be Blue") (@witchoftrinity)

Architect (Girls' Frontline) (@explosivedesire)

Fenie (Granblue Fantasy) (@sourceoftheflame)

Miyoi Okunoda (Touhou) (@geidonteispostergirl)

"Sparkle" (Honkai Stars Rails) @sparklingsplendor

Hiroi Kikuri (Bocchi the Rock) (@sickhackbassist)

My OC Protag from Armored Core 6 "Raven" (@echoesofcoral)

Beyond that I'm always in Discord if you just want to chat or anything else. You can also find me on twitter where I rant about the most craziest things and cry when my favorites in gachas actually get content (it doesn't happen often). Other then that I have no idea how to end this so here's a picture of my dog

anyway I think I've ranted long enough. Looking forward to talking with everyone more and anyone else who is willing to put up with my muses!"

#isola mun intro #this went on for way too long but if you read all of it godspeed

14 notes · View notes

petrichoraline · 1 year

Note

For the honest answer ask game: what's the history of your blog? (this really just includes how/when you began blogging on tumblr, content, your interactions and your special moments on here etc; whatever you wish to prioritize for the ask in context).

honest hour question answered 3 days later <3 truly hope the wait was worth it love hahah

as someone who's gone through my archive already, you know i started out as a bts fan account in 2015. (my previous blog is not gonna be discussed for the simple reason that it's barely relevant to this one)

i believe i used to tag and organise my reblogs? there was a time where i cared enough and i loved srolling through my own blog, i stopped enjoying that when i became more involved w/ fandom on here and things weren't aesthetics based anymore. i don't like going through it that much now. i used to play around with themes, search for them, tweak colours and fonts for hours. after i returned years later there was an issue with the editor so now i can't change my theme at all and it sucks cause i just want to edit a few things.

so it started of as a bts fanblog, then i started rb-ing other kpop stuff, maybe afterwards i started sharing gifsets from movies and series i liked? as for fandom, i had a good amount of mutuals - accidentally became one with a girl from my country, we went out once and it was very nice <3 procrastinated and lost track fo tag games back then too lmaoo i felt a lot of dissatisfaction over it so i try to do everything now with my current fandom :)

back then is when i started reading fanfiction - i believe my first imagine was a taegi one where v was an artist and yoongi a photographer lol i stumbled upon it on the dash randomly and i got introduced to ao3 a bit after

iirc for the following years after i'd stopped stanning bts, i used to come back either relatively often or once in a blue moon - in the beginning i was just enjoying wtv my dash was offering me or seeking out specific stuff, then i started using it as a tracklist of what shows i've watched haha, no tags, just rb after finishing a show.

i started engaging with fandom around the release of episode 5 of kinnporsche, i read a bunch of posts on here, then tms2 came around and i got even more into reading people's takes..at some point i started talking to people i guess hahah i don't even know when i started trying to put out content, so to say, i just know i was doing screenshot posts short before i found myself pushed to attempt gifs and that was after big dragon had just finished airing.

then i started my giffing journey. had support from @gillianthecat whom i loved giffing paulnice for. honestly that and the discussions we had were such an important part of me having fun with this site and keeping it up. and @joyladagang, my self-proclaimed #1 hype woman, made me feel super welcome. then i got even more moots, at some point i started reaching out or actively reciprocating others attempts at getting closer (though i had been active in discussions before that, i just mean i got a bit braver and started acting more familiar with everyone (esp w/ ppl i got closer to through @joyladagang like @cankersoregirl, @feralmuskyscentedhoepran, @loserlesbianongsa etc.)

i'm grateful to a lot of people on here, truly. it's not supposed to be a shoutout post so i won't be tagging any more people (esp since i would have to tag everyone who follows me plus a bunch of people i follow which..it's a bit much) but i'm genuinely thankful for each person that enjoys my rants, gifs, theories or wtv the things i post classify as, whether they found a post by accident or follow the blog. and i'm grateful to the creators i follow, and i'm happy to talk to so many sweet, smart and funny individuals on various topics daily.

so this is where my blog is at right now - trying to do a bit of everything and talking a bit with everyone. my issue, tbh, is i'm trying a bit too hard to satisfy everyone which sounds ridiculous but i am a bit of a people pleaser at times so it checks out lol

#ana thats such a good question!! thats a sleepy head answer youre getting though im sorry <33 #thank you sm for asking me smth <3 #ppg #petri replies #ask game

17 notes · View notes

dye-it-rouge-et-noir · 11 months

Text

Introduction Post

[Plain text: Introduction Post /End plain text]

(Art by me! - Click for original post!)

//Requests: Open! [Inbox: 1 out of 2 slots taken!] Will be slow due to studies! I'd be really glad to do Three Body Problem characters presently, but of course any character is fine!

Art Requesting Information: Click here!

Other Requesting Information: Click here!

Most Recent Changelog [Dated 7th of July, 2024]

I'll take pretty much anything, just don't push any boundaries and be patient! (If you're having difficulty accessing pages on mobile, I suggest trying to copy the link and pasting it into any browser)

Information about me under the cut!

Hello! I mostly go by Rouge (Le Rouge et le Noir) or Elliot here! I'm your local Vietnamese Bond villain with NPD and other assortments! (Expanding my media empire via creative works one might say)

My postings will mostly be fanworks of James Bond since it's a main interest of mine currently! (Masterpost of works I'm fairly proud of: Click here!) I run a few side blogs as well:

Tomorrow Never Dies/CMGN blog: @carvermediagroupnetwork

James Bond countdown blog: @tomorrowneverreleases

Fancomic Sideblog: @comics-royale

I have a myriad of other interests too that are all over the place! This includes literature, philosophy, mathematics, fountain pens, animation, spy/spy-adjacent media in general, and many others! Feel free to send asks to my inbox!

Currently reading Calculus Made Easy by Silvanus P. Thompson and watching Spy Game (特工任務)!

Moreover, I occasionally reblog and speak about subjects relating to mental health, especially personality disorders. (Side note: Waving to other cluster Bs!)

On another note, feel free to correct/educate me about any subject in general so I can better myself! After all, I don't want to remain ignorant and I do try to educate myself whenever I can.

No DNI: I can't stop folks from perceiving my stuff if it crosses their dash so I don't care much about it. Though, I'll block for personal comfort (no hard feelings) and keep bigots + creeps away. I can't completely check every blog either, so please feel free to tell me if I interacted with someone known to be awful.

#intro post #id in alt text

3 notes · View notes

the-crustoadian · 8 months

Text

Alright time for a depressing rant that I feel I need to type out to feel better

I'm fucked. I can't find a job and I have negative money in my bank account. Rent is nearly 900 dollars. I have two bills still needing to be paid. There's barely any food in the house. If I can't get a job or find some money somehow, then what? My parents will let me stay with them, but that's not in the city I live in. It's in a rural town away from all of my friends and all opportunities to go out and have fun or do anything. There's less jobs out there. If that happens I've fucked over my best friend and roommate, who can't afford this pace all on her own, and I don't know what might happen with her if I leave. Oh, and I'd have to abandon my cat, which makes me feel like a literal monster, because my Dad is allergic to cats and not very healthy. A cat in the house could actually kill him, so I don't want to do that either. So what can I do? Just go back to my parents and... Do nothing until I die? I always think about trying to stream, but I don't even have a computer. I doubt I could gain an audience by just streaming from the twitch app on my Xbox and using my mic to talk. I also just... Don't think I actually like streaming. Or anything I "want" to do for a career. Streaming. Drag. Singing. There's a few things I "love" and "wish I could be doing" but the thought of actually doing them... I don't think I'd enjoy it. Streaming for months on end with no viewers. Trying to do drag with no make-up skills, no fashion sense, and no idea on how to move my body. Everyone says I have a nice voice but, honestly, so what? I love to sing but I'd never be a good artist. I can't write songs, I have no actually knowledge of making music like my sister does, and she's barely getting anything from being in a band. Nothing seems to be worth it. None of my "passions" seem like they should be pursued, because what's the fucking point? I'm never going to succeed in them. Not fat fuck me from fucking nowhere, knows no one, no fucking drive to do anything. I'm just so tired of this struggle. I've been "lucky" that I could stay in the city for this long while unemployed, but that's only because my fucking grandmother died and I got my portion of the inheritance. But I miss her so fucking much. It's not fucking fair, none of this is fucking fair. The way the world is, the way I am, the way I'm going to ruin my best friends life because I'm a fucking failure at everything. And my cat. My fucking cat. I don't want to live without him, I can't fucking abandon him like this, he's already been abandoned by those he's loved before. I'm fucking cruel for putting him through this again. And also passing the burden to someone else. Probably my best friend. "Hey I know you're minus half of rent but could you also cover the expenses for my cat now? Thanks." Fuck. God I'm so bad with money too. This is mostly my fault for being in this position. I'm so so so so so fucking bad with money. It all goes away on fucking Uber eats or door dash and fucking weed. And the occasional video game. I don't know when to fucking stop. And now that everything is so fucking expensive it goes even quicker. Ten years in this city is all I'll get I guess. Ten years that were filled with mostly me crying about how stressful living is. Some fun, some good times and memories, but... It's been nothin but shit for a long time. And it won't get better. I'm fucked. I wish I had the balls to kill myself.

0 notes

https-sen · 3 years

Text

Haikyuu Bf's and S/O Who Gets Injured

a/n: i didnt proofread it because im a fuckin lazy idiot so pls tell me if there are any errors </3 idk what to post so someone, anyone PLS GIVE ME ASKS OR REQUESTS PLSPLSPLS 😭😭 anyways, to help support my small acc you can give me a follow, reblog and like!! it helps me out bunches ^^

Masterlist

Yamaguchi:

"Tadashi don't worry about me, I'm fine!", you assured the panicking sweetheart preventing you escaping his grasp of care as he scrambles to find a med kit for your scraped knee and elbow. "No!! Nononono!!! You keep hurting yourself and I am NOT gonna let that slide! Besides, it might get infected and lead to more problems. You can sit out of the game just for 15 minutes can't you? And it's just a practice match, don't get too worked up over it.", he scolds your stubborness and disinfect your scars before bandaging them. "Alright, alright! If it makes you less anxious darling, I won't protest. And I won't get too ahead of myself either.", you ruffled his hair and kissed his flustered cheeks. When he was done you thanked your living boyfriend and was ready to head off into the match but a hand stopped you from leaving. "Be careful next time..", he mumbles, hugging you before he let's you go practice with your teammates.

Hinata:

"Y-Y/N! Are you okay?? Your legs are so bruised!!", he panics as he rushed over to you. "I'm okay, Sho! It's nothing major, I get these all the times whenever I practice.", you told your worried boyfriend as he inspects your legs before pouting as he looked at your face. "It's not okay! Don't go back in the court yet. I'll go get some ice for you, in the mean time sit tight and wait for me to get back.", he told you before scurying off to who knows where. You sighed at your precious little red head who was overreacting. "I'm.. back?", he noticed you weren't where he last saw you. You were in the practice match but the only difference is that here are more bruises especially on your arms. "Y/N!!! STOP AND GET HERE RIGHT NOW!", he shouted enough to get everyone's attention. (After he got a scolding from both Daichi and Coach Ukai) He treated your bruises as he lectured you for not listening to him, frowning as you laughed at his expression. "It's not funny! Be more careful next time, you're really pretty but bruises doesn't fit your aesthetic."

Atsumu:

"AH! Angel, are ya okay??", he dashes over to you despite Osamu's advice not to. You got hit in the face and there was a serious bruise near your left eye. "I'm fine Tsum, I've been through worst. Don't worry, I'll get fixed in a split and be okay!", reassuring the worried blonde twin that was grabbing your face to examine your eye. "Nope! You're comin' with me, whether ya want to or not.", he declared as he carried you to he bleachers. "C'mere lemme put an ice pack there so it won't swell.", he told you as he concentrates on helping you before you scurry back into the game. He didn't seem like the type to be very caring about these situations but he was worried sick to the point you sat on his lap as he healed you, embarrassingly sweet in your perspective. You quietly laughed as he got a lecture from the coach and got bonked on the head by Kita when they were clearly not allowed to interfere within matches.

Sakusa:

"Oof!!", you grunted as you fell on the court during your practice match with your team. You noticed his 'Omi Alarm' went off just from the glance you took at the figure now sprinting in your direction. "Dove, are you okay? Do you need bandaids? Can you get up? Are you hurt anywhere else? Does it hurt to talk? Do you think you can let me take care of that bad scar??", he shot the questions only for you to gawk at him at your pretty much minor injury. It was just a small little scar that looked like a papercut but he was so concerned about it that it made you glad he cared. "I'm fine Omi, it's just a minor injury! And to answer all your questions at once, I'm perfectly okay and there's nothing out of the ordinary that's making me feel pain that leads it to an uncomfortable state.", you kissed the forehead of the anxious curly haired boy standing infront of you. He did NOT let you get off that easily and still insist to disinfect it. On the plus side, you got a pastel yellow bandaid with ducks on your chin that makes your outfit look cute since it went with the vibe.

395 notes · View notes

yutanology · 3 years

Text

Promise Me | Yandere! Nakamoto Yuta X Fem!Reader

Warning : 18+, possessive, foul behaviours, sexual content(nothing biggie), mental illness, death, etc. No proofread. Please, don't be too harsh on me. I'm still new and this is my first ever one shot/fanfiction here :)

Word count : 2.4k+

"Could you just stop?" Y/n whisper shouted at her seatmate who had been bothering her since this morning.

It's not like this is new to her or to anyone in their class but today, he seemed to be more clingy and touchy than he usually was and she found it quite unusual.

By the time she stepped into the school campus this morning, he abandoned his game with his friends on the soccer field just to greet her with his dashing smile and a nice warm hug.

She didn't mind it at first as she was already used to it but when she thought he's going to leave her alone after that, he followed her around instead like a lost puppy. She could almost see a furry tail happily wagging behind him.

Everywhere she goes, he's there right beside her. Either his hands were holding hers or his arms were wrapped around her lower waist. Some people were jealous or happy when they thought they're finally officially together and when someone questioned their relationship, Y/n would immediately respond saying they're just friends while Yuta would say otherwise, leaving them confused.

He was still attached to her during her classes and even ditched his just to be with her. The teachers could only sigh in defeat and shake their head. They knew that whatever they say, there's nothing they can do to make the stubborn guy follow their orders.

At the end, he'd always get what he wants.

The Japanese boy glanced at her side profile. His head was laying on top of his other hand. Seeing her brows furrowed irritatedly, he stopped for a moment before continuing to twirl a few strands of her silky hair between his long fingers.

It doesn't look like he has any plans of keeping his hands to himself at all. She'd been trying to get rid of him for countless times and she failed with all of those useless attempts. She's so close of getting angry at him but she doesn't want to lash out on him and seem like a bad person.

With her another sigh passing through her soft reddish lips, she looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Just five minutes more, Y/n. Just a little more patience, you can do it.’ she tried to convince herself. By those five minutes, she let Yuta play with her hair.

When the school bells rang and echoed around the campus, she immediately fixed her things and rushed out of the classroom before the teacher could even dismiss them. The corridors are already crowded and she could only hope that Yuta wouldn't be able to follow after her this time.

She decided to go to the restroom and stayed there until she was certain that Yuta's nowhere around her. He's really acting weird and she couldn't understand why. Whenever she asked what's wrong with him, he'd always say the same thing like 'I'm fine. It's all in your mind.’

His gaze, the way he looks at her also felt different this time. She felt something uneasy somewhere in the pit of her stomach or maybe there's something wrong with 𝘩𝘦𝘳. Maybe she's just overthinking way too much since that's what she always do mostly when she doesn't get enough sleep and she stayed up late last night.

That's right... these shit are all just in her head.

She released an exhausted sigh and turned the faucet on to wash her face, hoping that it would also wash her frustrations away. She reached for a handkerchief from her bag and wiped her face dry as she made her way out of the comfort room.

Her heart almost jumped out of her ribs when she found Yuta standing just a single step from the exit. She gasped and her hand immediately flew to her chest in surprise. "Yah! Stop scaring me like that!" she yelled and he only chuckled in amusement.

"I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?" he asked her, locking his hand on hers as he lead her to the canteen. Eyes of the people they passed by were immediately on them like they're more interesting than the lessons that their teachers taught them.

"Wait, why were you waiting for me?" confusion was evident on her face.

"So we can eat together for lunch, of course. Come on, we don't have all the time. Classes are going to start after forty minutes." he casually said, pulling her closer to him when they walked passed a group of boys and he didn't fail to notice the way they looked at Y/n.

He didn't like it, not even a bit.

Y/n seriously couldn't count how many times she sighed at how she always end up letting Yuta do whatever he wanted to do with her. From the simple hand holds to sudden random kisses that he pepper on her face. No matter how hard she tried to push him off, he'd always stick himself even more closer to her.

It was like that for the passed weeks and it was honestly so tiring as hell. Yuta just won't leave her alone even when she goes to the restroom, he would insist to wait outside the cubicle that she had to push him away and lock the main door of the room.

She could barely talk to other people peacefully as he would shoo them away immediately and ask them to leave her alone. It was so frustrating and she's getting fed up of his unexplained foolish practices.

She's well aware that the guy likes her more than just a friend and she also can't deny that she's attracted to him but these behaviours of his are just too much for her.

The said dirty blonde haired Japanese guy was sitting closely beside her, his chin rested on her right shoulder as he watched her turn pages of the book that she's reading. He wasn't paying attention to the words written on the dead leaves. His eyes stared at her small hands, wondering how they would feel like around his cock—

"Yuta." the guy's ears perked up when she said his name. Snaking his arms around her waist, he pulled her to his chest and planted a kiss on her neck. Her cheeks heated at the unexpected skin contact but she tried her best to ignore the butterflies that he's giving her.

She's planning to finally confront him and she had to make him stop whatever he's doing cuz it's no fun at all. It's not entertaining and she's not amused at all. "Yuta." he hummed, his kisses getting wet and he started to graze his teeth on her skin, lightly nibbling on them until he finally bit hard enough to leave a mark.

A whimper tried to escape her mouth but she's fast enough to bite her lower lip, trapping the sound until it disappeared on it's own. He was disappointed when she didn't make any sound for him, thinking that he didn't do well enough to make her feel good so he ran the tip of his tongue on her neck.

His hot minty breath heated her skin and tingles spread around her body when he blew her sensitive ear, nibbling her earlobe and placing a kiss on one of her flushed cheeks. His hands wandered under her blouse, caressing the side of her hips with his thumb.

He slowly dragged his large hands up under her breasts and just when he was about to touch them, Y/n pulled away from him. A low whine and groan simultaneously erupted from him, complaining at the lose of skin contact from her.

Y/n looked around the library if someone saw them and she was thankful that no one was there but only them. She straightened her blouse, closing the book and stood up. "Where are you going?" he also stood up from his seat, ready to follow her wherever she's going.

She didn't answer him. She slung one of her bag's strap on her shoulder, walking away with the book and placed it back to where she took it. Yuta was quick to keep up with her steps, confused of why she was suddenly in a hurry.

When they finally got out of the library, she stopped at the nearby bleachers where students barely pass by and turned to him with an exasperated sigh, "Yuta, seriously, what's wrong with you?" the way she questioned him came out more stressed out than how she wanted it to be.

Yuta blinked his eyes a few times as if he's trying to figure out what she meant. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me? I'm totally fine. Are you okay?" it was his turn to ask her, walked close to her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Are you sick? You don't seem fine to me. Let me take you to the clinic—"

"Yuta, stop." she stepped away from him before he could even hold her hand. He halted, his brows met as his eyes stared at her worryingly.

"Stop whatever you're doing to me and please, leave me alone. I also need some time for myself and other people around me, alright? You can't keep me from interacting with anyone. This is honestly suffocating, Yuta. We can't keep doing this."

He felt like his heart shattered into tiny pieces. His chest tightened and his airways narrowed, making him unable to breath properly. Without him knowing, tears were already streaming down his cheeks.

Y/n was taken aback at this, immediately feeling guilty for making him cry. She didn't expect him to be this emotional for his appearance.

"Look, I'm sorry but—"

"D-don't you love me anymore, Y/n?" He didn't let her finish her words, leaving her speechless at the question.

Her mouth left agape, struggling to find the right words to tell him. "Did you find someone else better than me that's why you're planning to leave me, is that it?" more salty water poured out of his eyes.

"Yuta, w-what are you talking about? We're not in a relationship to begin with."

"Then let's be together officially! Just you and me, Y/n. I'll do anything just to be with you. I promise, I'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have. I'll give you everything you want—" he held her arms, "—just promise me I'll be the only one you'll ever love and want to be with. Promise me, Y/n. Promise me!"

Yuta secured his arms around her, holding onto her desperately. Scared that if he lets go, he might lose her. He can't let that happen. Like what he said, he'll do whatever it takes just to have her.

All for himself.

"Y-you have to promise me, Y/n."

Her head was clouded with a lot of thoughts. She was barely thinking straight and her emotions also messed up with her. She really likes Yuta. The increasing speed of her heartbeat and the butterflies flying around her stomach with euphoria whenever she's with him didn't lie at all but it felt wrong.

These feelings didn't feel right.

She pulled herself away from him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Yuta..." that was all she said before she left him without even looking back at him.

She had no idea how it broke him and how it made him do things that a normal person wouldn't do. He saw nothing but red after she disappeared from his sight. Everyone who tried to touch or talk to her the next day suddenly disappeared, a minute after they left somewhere else.

At first, she didn't think much about it until the number of people disappearing quickly increased and made everyone alarmed. All schools around the place were forced to close for a moment and people were told to stay at home with tight security to keep them safe.

Everyone was scared including Y/n, of course.

It made her so anxious that she could barely sleep at night. One morning, a knock on her door echoed around her silent apartment and she panicked, quickly hiding on her bedroom.

She almost peed her pants in fear when the knocking and ringing of doorbells continued for minutes. Her phone went off on her nightstand and she ran to it. Yuta's calling.

Without a second thought, she answered it with trembling voice. "Y-yuta..."

"Y/n, are you okay? Please open your door for me, I have to make sure you're safe. I'm the one outside your house."

And that was all it took for him to be with her. Make her scared to be outside, convince her that everyone is dangerous and he's the only one who can protect her.

Whenever he goes outside to buy food and other necessities for the both of them, he'd always return with a small cut or bruises and it made Y/n scared that she might lose him too.

He's all she had left.

He made her thought of that. He's all and everything she could ever need. She'd be nothing without him.

"Do you love me?" he asked and she nodded silently.

"If you really do, promise me that you'll love me and only me, Y/n. I wanna hear it from you." Yuta looked at her straight in the eyes when he said those words.

"I promise." his heart raced inside his chest.

A smile stretched out on his plump lips. "I love you, Y/n. So much than you could ever imagine." He meant it. He always had and always will. He leaned his body closer to her, locking his lips with hers and they moved in sync.

This is paradise to him.

He couldn't explain how much happy he's right now. With her here in his arms, it's the only place where she's safe. He watched her drift off to sleep, he kissed her forehead when her eyes finally closed.

He could look at her like this forever. The love bites that he painted on her skin looks so beautiful. She's like the most beautiful painting he'd ever seen and she deserve to be placed on his art gallery but she's only for him to be looked at.

He sighed dreamily as he continued to press more kisses on her neck. He successfully made her love him. There's nothing he could ask for, now that her naked body is already tangled with him under their soft blanket.

He could only hope that she'd keep her words and stay true to him.

Feedbacks are pretty much appreciated and requests are open! Feel free to share your thoughts!

I will not always be active but I will try my best to attend each of your requests and to also interact with y'all.

I apologize for not being word-perfect in English. English sadly ain't for me—

#nct scenarios #nct x reader #yuta nakamoto x reader #yandere #nakamoto yuta #nct nakamoto yuta #nct u #nct 127 #yuta nakamoto #obsessed #posessive

154 notes · View notes

troublewithvampires · 1 year

Text

classic novelist aesthetics

JOHN KEATS.

the lavender in sunsets, flowers in the rain, sunlight slipping through clouds, lazy summer afternoons, the heavy scent of musk, flickering candlelight reflecting off the gold titles of books, fireflies on a cool summer night, being wrapped in fresh bed sheets, the ache of wanting what you can never have, dripping sunlight like gold, loving someone so exquisite, soft lips and soft whispers, fingers through hair, names of lovers carved in trees, broken glass, the insistence of being perpetually dreamy.

F. SCOTT FITZGERALD.

crisp winter skies with cold bright stars, mahogany wood, the solitude of an early autumn morning wrapped in fog, empty bottles on stacks and stacks of books haphazardly placed in a messy room, bruised arms reaching out into the darkness, cigarette smoke just barely hiding the scent of alcohol, a wall of books all poetry and old and weathered, the way tragedy strikes in your heart but ends up stopping your breathing for a moment, your favorite sweater, parties spilling into four a.m. with the stars above spinning and dancing, the contrast of blood against snow, a purple split lip oozing blood, black eyes fading to blue to pale skin, the butterflies of falling in love for the first time, the statues falling apart over time in cemeteries, the romanticization of self-destruction.

FRANZ KAFKA.

the weight of dread that sits heavily in your stomach when thinking about the future, decrepit houses cloaked in mystery from children telling stories of people who died there, the way not even light can escape a black hole, the rich smell of old books, delicate veins in the wrist, ghosts filling lungs, shattered bones, raindrops on the tongue, rusting metal, a nostalgia that aches, the way hope feels like a plastic bag over your head.

H.P. LOVECRAFT.

the anxiety felt when staring into an unknown cave, pouring rain and mud, a child’s fear of the dark, thinking so many questions about your existence as you stare at the vast expanse of never-ending ocean, the silence of three a.m., ouija boards and urban legends.

JACK KEROUAC.

the brisk pine air of being on a mountain, travels without a destination, those nights where you’re missing three hours of memory, screaming to a lifeless desert about how you’re so alive, coffee shops late at night, car rides at night spent speeding and laughing in the dark, naps spent in the sun, novels highlighted and underlined with notes and epiphanies in the margins, the way uncertainty sits on the shoulders, ignoring flaws and loving life, wind through hair, depression as fog in the brain, impossible ideals, a quiet sunrise, walks alone, when you think about trying to discover all the secrets to the universe, dazzling people, open lands stretching out into infinity, falling in love with being alive.

EDGAR ALLAN POE.

the ocean’s horizon inseparable from fog, hollow bones, a preserved heart held in hands, twinkling stars above an old graveyard, the way everything turns to dust, silent black birds with eyes full of wisdom, self-inflicted flames, perfection depicted as a rotting corpse, death as bricks in the heart, lips barely brushing against each other, glassy glazed eyes, biting into a lemon, heart-shaped bruises, rotting flowers on a grave, dried blood and spilled liquor, the hush of dusk when it begins raining, the intimacy of a secret.

tagged by: @rejectshumanity

tagging, with no pressure to any of y'all (feel free to ignore this lol): @modestmuses (for silco or anyone else u want <3), @bornchaos, @swxpped, @sinshosted (for ava <3), @dollysdaggers, @nefariuus (for whoever you'd like!), aaaaaaaand @bxtsence (yes u were already tagged but uhh here's a pass to do this again with another muse if you want <3), and anyone else who wants to yoink this from me :3c

#❝ i can't stop myself and i don't want to‚ either ❞ 「 dash games 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#//this fucking meme was made for me holy shit #//the english major is showing apparently LMAO #//[insert essay here about poe and his works]#//or rather fitzgerald more. i actually enjoy his work more than poe's #//also kafka my MAN!!!!#//these are a mix of like. general aesthetic and the road trip verse #//the road trip verse where sal gets better and gets to heallllll

11 notes · View notes

troublewithvampires-a · 1 year

Text

when everything is stripped away, what is at your core

uquiz link: [link]

acerbic wit.

you're a mentor — an old scarred wolf, an injured soldier, a disgraced paladin. your teachings read as shamelessly pretentious, speaking in rhymes and biting down hard into anyone stupid enough to make the wrong move. this isn't your first life, nor your second, nor your sixth — you'll make the most of your time shackled to this world, no matter how many loops it takes to get it right. with every defeat, you reincarnate; a little smarter, a little quicker, crueler and nastier. will you choose to be brutal, equalizing, that final strike in the face of your enemies? will you go soft, become tender and domesticated? the choice is yours. it's not like i can stop you.

stolen from @shireentheunburnt :3

steal it from me if you'd like <3

#❝ i can't stop myself and i don't want to‚ either ❞「 dash games 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞「 ooc 」#//yeah this vibes #//in canon he is a mentor figure to billy in many ways... wild

2 notes · View notes

tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Black Magic" *Part 11*

Ooops I MAY have lied before....

More angst comin 'atcha babes.

I'm sorry. We're getting there, I promise. I just love watching you cryyyyy!!!

I'm just kidding I love you all please don't stop reading my stuff.

(fun fact these are Raul's actual hands! It's from a LOF promo. THE FINGIES THO)

Tag List

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

@sassyada

So weird note here it won't let me edit this post on my computer for some reason to add the link to the new chapter and it looks stupid in the app but whatever....I hate this place sometimes. 🤨

You went the next day straight to Rafael’s office, but when you walked into the DA’s building, it was empty. What the hell was happening? Has the whole world gone nuts?

Before you turned to leave, one of the other assistant’s came out of the public bathroom.

“Hey YN, didn’t you get fired?”

“No-- Yes-- It’s a long story,”

“Well either way, I thought for sure you'd be the first one over to the church,” She chuckled.

“I'm sorry, what?” You felt your heart stop.

“The church? Where your subject of obsession is getting married?”

“I'm sorry, WHAT?”

“People talk, Y/N. Word is you’re obsessed with Barba, screaming at him and his fiancée like an unhinged psycho,” She tried not to laugh at you.

“I…” You began to have another panic attack.

“He can't ..how did she...he CAN'T….” You started hyperventilating.

“Ooookay I'm gonna leave you here for your mental breakdown. She scoffed and walked out. You immediately bolted out behind her, dialing Maria’s number, thanking God she gave it to you the other day.

“Hola?”

"Maria he's….he's getting married,” You gasped for air.

“Y/N? What are you talking about?”

“Rafael….he’s getting…” You tried to breathe. “He’s getting married, RIGHT NOW.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Raffi would never rush into something so--”

“You said it yourself Maria, that’s NOT Rafael,”

“You’re right. Well if there’s any trace of my Raffi, there’s only one church he’d get married at. I’ll text you the address and meet you there.”

“Okay…” You started to cry as you caught your breath.

“Hey, mija don’t give up yet, it’s not over!” Maria assured you.

“Okay…” You breathed, and hung up the phone.

-----

At the church you and Maria dashed around to find the groomsman room. You found it and Maria guarded the door.

You busted in without knocking to see Rafael straightening his tie, his tuxedo jacket hung on the mirror. He turned and stared at you in confusion.

“I...I’m sorry sweetie, are you lost?” He had concerns in his eyes. Concern for a ‘stranger’. You hoped it was because he knew you deep down, but you also knew Rafael was just a wonderful man who cared for all.

“You can't marry her Rafael” You said breathlessly, tired from running around the church.

“I’m sorry, what?” He half laughed, grabbing his jacket to put it on. You put a hand up to stop him.

“Because you don't love her,”

“I don't? Really?” He gave you an amused smile.

“No! She's using some kind of spell on you.” You cried.

“...Okay, is this some kind of prank? Is this Carisi’s idea of a joke?” Rafael continued to laugh, looking down the hall to see if Carisi was waiting to yell “GOTCHA COUNSELOR!”

“No, look you have to believe me. She’s been giving you an elixir that makes you think you’re in love with her.”

“...Um, okay seriously, this isn’t funny anymore sweetie,” He stopped laughing.

“I’m not kidding!” You stomped your foot,

“Look honey I’m-- I’m sorry, you must be confused. Did you come here with someone or--?” He put on a patronizing voice.

“I’m not some mental patient Rafael, l'm Y/N! Don’t you remember me? Look at me!” You stepped in front of the mirror.

“....No, I can’t say that I do. Really sweetie you need to--”

“STOP calling me sweetie. STOP patronizing me, and fucking LISTEN to me!!!!”

“...Okay, fine. Then I’m sorry you crazy person, but get the hell out of my dressing room,” He turned serious.

“No! Look listen to me Rafael, you don’t love Liv. She has you under some kind of bat crap crazy concoction of spells to keep you under her control!”

“Okay you’re ACTUALLY insane, how the hell did you get in here?”

“I came with Maria,”

“Maria? How do you know Maria? Oh did MARIA put you up to this?! God I know she was pissed I told her not to come, but to send a mental patient--”

“I’m not a fucking mental patient!” You yelled.

“And I’M not under some kind of bizarre spell,” He yelled back.

“Ok then….why do you think you feel stronger and stronger about Olivia every day?” You asked.

“Are you kidding me? Um sweetheart that's what you call being in love. You fall more and more everyday.” he scoffed.

“Not like that and you know it.” You challenged. “It doesn’t feel like that, I know it doesn’t. I KNOW you find it weird,”

“You don’t know anything about me. I love Liv and--”

“Then why are you doing this SO fast?” You cut him off.

“Excuse me?”

“You barely proposed to her a few days ago-- which by the way, NOT your idea,” You rolled your eyes.

“Wow...you are really...are you stalking me or something?” He narrowed his eyes.

“No, but I know you. You wouldn’t just rush into something like this,” You told him.

“It’s not rushing, honey. We’ve known each other for YEARS,” He scoffed with a laugh.

“Then why? Why now? Why is it SO urgent that you get married RIGHT now?!” You stomped your foot.

“BECUASE I LOVE HER YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!” He screamed in your face angrily.

“No, you don’t! You didn’t take her to Maria, you didn’t take her to your special place. But you took me,” You didn't back down, you matched his volume as tears lined your eyes.

“And why would I do that? Because I was in love with you? Did I just forget an entire relationship with someone I’ve never met?” He was still yelling.

“No I--” You looked down in shame.

“You what?” He crossed his arms.

“.....I used it first,” You said softly.

“Excuse me?“

“I used it first, okay?” You said tears in your eyes. “I used an enhancement spell on you that made you fall in love with me for a day,”

“Ohhhh I SEE,” he chuckled mockingly. “So what you’re really saying is Olivia is playing your game, just better?”

“NO!” You screamed. “No, the stuff I used only enhanced stuff you already felt. Hers FABRICATED them. And I only used them for ONE DAY, because I love you enough to not want to keep you for myself if it’s not real,”

“But you just claimed it was real,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t know that at the time-- LOOK,” You grabbed his hands. “The only thing that matters is that Olivia is trapping you,”

“With magic.” He looked at you again with amusement.

“Yeah…” You didn’t like this.

“That I assume she got from you?” He nodded at you.

“No she used black magic, I used good magic,”

“Oh right right, the good magic that manipulates feelings. Of course,” He nodded sarcastically.

“Dammit Rafael I’m telling you the truth! I know the real you is there, deep down somewhere. I know he is and I know how he feels about me.

“Right...look you need to let this insane crush of yours go, lady. I don’t know how you know who I am, but I have zero clue who you are,”

“That's not true. I know that's not true,”

“Oh really?” He laughed sarcastically.

“You look like a penguin,” You simply said.

“I'm sorry, what?” He continued to laugh mockingly.

“You look like a penguin,” You looked into his eyes, trying to distract him so you could pour the vial you had in your bra into his coffee next to the mirror.

So now you're just resulting to insulting me? Look you--- Oh my god what the FUCK are you doing?!” He grabbed your hand before you reached the cup. He held it and stared wide eyed at the pink vial.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you? Did...Did some criminals send you? The Diablos have pretty girls doing their dirty work for them?”

“What? No--”

“Ohhh wait,” He became sarcastic again. “So you try and counteract ‘Evil’ Olivia’s ‘magic’ with your own ‘good’ magic, is that it?”

“...I mean--”

“Alright I was tolerating you before, but if you don’t leave RIGHT now, I’m going to call security.” He swiped the vial from you and smashed it on the ground.

“NO!!!!” You dropped to your knees in devastation. That was the one thing-- the ONE thing, besides--- Well, there was no fucking way you were getting anywhere near his lips at this point. You racked your brain, trying to think of something, anything.

“....Your middle name is Eduardo,” You said softly, still on your knees.

“...What did you just say?” Rafael’s face went from amused to shock.

“Your middle name is Eduardo. You tell everybody that it's Antonio but really it's Eduardo. You don't want anybody to know your real middle name because it’s your father’s name,”

“How did you--” He tried to ask but you weren’t done.

“Eduardo used to beat you and because of that you hate him and you don't want anything to be associated with him.” You stood up, not breaking eye contact.

“....How the hell… “ He looked at you. “...You DID use magic didn’t you?” Rafael gasped.

“Yes but I--”

“You used magic to read my mind didn’t you? You used it to manipulate me and try and use my deepest secret into trying to make me think I loved you." He looked at you in disgust.

"No, it's not--" You tried to explain, but Rafael wouldn't stop.

"...That we had this perfect day together, that-- that what I bared my soul to you because I was so safe with you? So IN LOVE with you?" He spat.

"You ARE!!!!" You were crying now.

“Alright that’s it I’m calling security….” He muttered angrily.

“No! Wait, Rafael please...just….just look into my eyes,” you begged. Maybe if he stared at you, he’d remember that day when you held him and planted that memory. You went to grab his hands but he pushed you away from him.

“Get the hell away from me you psycho! SECURITY!” He moved past you and opened the door. “SECURITY!”

“No! Rafael! Please, oh god please, please PLEASE you have to remember. Remember I told you about my Broadway dream, just like yours” He was looking down the hall for a security guard, you were still yelling at him.

“Stop it.” He tried ignoring your words while looking both ways down the halls.

“...And and I told you about how my parents died and you said that you used to play and dance and sing at your abuela’s house because it was the only place you felt safe--”

“STOP IT!” He threw his hands over his ears.

“And then you told me that it wasn't until you met me that you felt that safe again. With ME!!!!” You were sobbing now, trying to get him to remember.

“SHUT UP!!!!!” He screamed, his eyes flashed a bright neon purple. Suddenly two men grabbed either of your arms and started dragging you away.

“Look, Rafael--” You fought the security guards.

"What?" Rafael held up his hand for the guards to stop and let you talk.

"Just answer me this: Even if, EVEN IF you think that I-- I used some mind control and 'took' that memory from you-- have you told Liv?"

"Told Liv what?"

"That story, that memory. Your real middle name!" You felt fresh tears falling, and you swear you saw the purple fade for a moment in Rafael's eyes.

"...Of course I have--" He shook his head with a sarcastic laugh.

"No you haven't. I know you haven't, because I straight up ASKED her what your middle name was, and she said it was Antonio," You smirked at him.

"Well, that's because I haven't had a chance to tell her--"

"You can lie to me all you want Rafael, but you need to really ask yourself why haven't you told her? In the YEARS that you've been 'in love'? Why have you never felt safe enough with her to tell her your deepest darkest shame? Does that sound like 'true love' to you? Does that even compute with what you THINK you feel about her?"

Rafael eyes darted back and forth, purple and blue swirled around violently as he took in your words. But he fought them, and shook it out of his head.

"Whatever, stop trying to play mind games with me you witch," He waved his hands for the guards to take you away, but you added one last thing:

“I’m going to go to your favorite spot in the city, the one place you go to when you’ve had a really long day or a bad day in court. If you go there, and I’m there-- you’ll know I’m telling the truth.”

“Yeah, OKAY. He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be busy getting married, psychopath,” He nodded for the men to drag you out but you broke free and walked out yourself, at least you’d have dignity.

You walked out of the church and broke down in tears. Both Maria and Chloe were waiting for you, they ran to hug you as you fell down sobbing.

“Aw honey, oh baby--” Maria held you while you cried.

“We--We have to go,” You tried to get yourself under control.

“Go? Go Where?” Chloe looked at you confused.

“Central Park,” You simply said.

You had to believe in your love now. That’s all you had left.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #black magic #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

34 notes · View notes

amenomiko · 4 years

Text

Thank you @amymarple for the request and Thank You so much for liking my writing 🤗🤗🤗😍😍😍❤❤❤! There's no element in your request that makes me uncomfortable so it's okay ✨✨✨. Hope you like this!

First Game - Quiz Game

Team 1 - Masamune, Ranmaru, Yukimura

Team 2 - Sasuke, Nobunaga, Mitsunari

Prize : A photo of MC

❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤

Team 1 be like (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)(✿❛◡❛)ಠ_ಠ

Team 2 be like (´・ｪ・｀)😏(❁´◡`❁)

Yukimura's one and only question before it started be like "Why am I here again?"

But it was ignored.

Then drum roll.... Start!

Question 1: What is the substitute for wine in dish? To the lords and ninjas of Sengoku era, Wine is a type of alcoholic drink in foreign country.

Masamune: Hoooh substitute eh? I'd say sake? Cause it's also an alcoholic drink.

Ranmaru: But didn't you immediately k.o even after a sip? Why would you want to make anything that required alcohol, Masamune-sama?

Masamune:

Yukimura: PFFFFT- ehem.

Mitsunari: Uhm.. Uhm.. I think.. Maybe.. *Butterfly passes by 🦋🦋🦋* Oh OAO. *Distracted*

Nobunaga: That's easy. It will be MC's tears 😏.

MC: (눈‸눈)...

Sasuke: Grape (´・ｪ・｀)✨.

BING! BING! BING! "Sasuke wins! Points goes to Team 2!"

Sasuke: *Dabs*

Question 2: Margaret has 5 childrens. It's Olivia, Johnathan, Liam, Shana, and Who is the youngest.

Them:

Sasuke: Oh. Ooooh. Okay.

Yukimura: What? What?? Who is the youngest? Who?

Masamune: Hoooh.. This is tricky.

Nobunaga: I think it's Mitsunari. Because our Mitsunari is like the youngest who's mind needed to be protected 😏.

Mitsunari: Thank you, My Lord. I'm honored (❁´◡`❁).

Ranmaru: But wow. This Margaret person is a super woman. She have five kids 😲✨✨✨.

Sasuke: The people in this era is really... *sigh* must protecc!

Yukimura: Sasuke, stop talking in your weird language, I bet you already have the answer don't you?

Sasuke: Yes I do.

Yukimura: So who's the youngest?

Sasuke: Yes.

Yukimura: What-

Sasuke: Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: No, I'm asking you ಠ_ಠ.

Sasuke: Yes bro. Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: I SWEAR TO GOD SASUKE WHO IS THE YOUNGEST??

Sasuke: You don't have to swear it like that, bro. Yes. Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: *SCREEEEEECH*

Final question: If a castle is a home, then a bed is a ______.

Masamune: Kitten meowing my name 😏✨✨✨✨

Hideyoshi in the background: *sighhhhh* 😑😑😑😑

Ranmaru: A place to sleep (✿❛◡❛)!

Nobunaga: Place for MC to be ready for my kiss 😏.

Sasuke: ......

Yukimura: A place to sleep obviously. What else it is for 😒?

Sasuke: *Grabs megaphone* VIRGINNNNNNN~~~~~

Yukimura: What?? (　☉д⊙)

Shingen among the crowd: Oh, my Yuki. And here you are, playing the game so you can win over our Goddess (っω；。).

Yukimura: *Misheard* What? You want to bring a horses on your bed??

Meanwhile Mitsunari: *Still distracted with the butterfly 😳🦋✨✨✨

Winner: Team 2. Thanks to Sasuke.

Mitsunari: I don't know what happened but yaaaay (❁´◡`❁)❤❤❤~~

Nobunaga: *Smiles at MC's photo of sleeping* Hm 😏. *Puts it inside his inner kimono*

Sasuke: *stares at photo of MC cooking in an apron* Oh mah waifu. Le mademoiselle making me a sandwich. *kiss kiss kiss*

Nobunaga: ........

Sasuke: *Cough* Excuse me (´・ｪ・｀).

Second Game - Eating Competition

Team 1 - Shingen, Kennyo

Team 2 - Yukimura, Mitsuhide

Prize: Gold Trophy of MC statue in wedding dress.

Shingen: We can do this, Kennyo 😏. Let's do our best to win our Goddess's heart~

Kennyo: Tsk. I don't see any points of winning this game over a food eating competition-

MC: Alright the food is here~ I cooked it myself ☺☺☺. The dish for this eating competition is fried rice with anchovies, edamame, tempura, and a mix of foreign country, Korea's infamous Kimchi ❤.

Kennyo: I won't lose 😒.

Shingen: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)...

Yukimura: Why did I team up with you again?

Mitsuhide: Now, now, don't say that. We might win, you know?

-FOOD EATING COMPETITION... START!-

Shingen: Aaaah it smells so nice. When the Goddess prepared something as divine as this, I couldn't ask for more, aaah such a sin to be eating heavenly food~~

Kennyo: Just be quiet and start eating will you ಠ_ಠ? Nevermind I will start first- *Eats* ....MMF-

Yukimura: GAH WHAT THE HECK WILD BOAR?? It's so salty!!

MC: ☺💢...... My, have I forgotten to tell you that the dishes is not what it taste like? Oh I didn't. Of course. Especially for someone like you, Yukimura.

Kennyo: The rice is salty, the edamame is sour, the tempura is sweet and the kimchi is-- what a combination..! Sh- Shingen- *turns around*

Shingen: X w X.......

Kennyo: He fainted with anchovies hanging in his mouth 😱😱😱 OI! WAKE UP!

Yukimura: *Hurls* Oh f-- hey, are you oka-

Mitsuhide: *Has mixed everything into one bowl and already ate it until halfway* Hm ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)?

Yukimura: ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ....

Winner: Team 2. Thanks to Mitsuhide and his sense of taste.

Mitsuhide: *Chuckles to the trophy* Ah, I can't wait for the real person to wear it. *Smiles at MC*

MC: (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)?

And Yukimura: *Holding the gold trophy with ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ face*

Final Game - Pass the Baton

Team 1- Kenshin, Shingen, Yukimura, Ranmaru, Kennyo

Team 2 - Hideyoshi, Masamune, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, Mitsuhide

Prize: A handmade kimono by MC.

Point 1: Masamune and Shingen

Bang!

Both of them dash for the second point, clearly glaring at one another within the race.

"Heh. Handmade Kimono or not, I will make sure I claim many more from her!"

"Aren't we a greedy one, One Eyed Dragon? That will be impossible for you to do so as Team 1 will win this no matter what!" Shingen focused to his front, all more than ready to pass the baton.

Both of them manage to pass the baton!

"Go! Ieyasu / Yuki!"

Sasuke: *Gasp* The Tsunderes of History (´・д・｀)! *Takes out phone out of no where and takes picture (which is attached with orange to charge its battery)*

MC: ಠ_ಠ...

"Heh, I won't lose to you!"

"Focus on your front, future loser."

"EXCUSE ME (　☉д⊙)??"

"Excuse you 😒."

"Damn it..! Ah Kenshin-sama--"

Yukimura: *Saw something + slipped* GAH- *Fell and land like an airplane, flat on the floor* Why are you drinking during a race???

Kenshin: Hmh. I was bored, you are too slow (눈‸눈).

Mitsunari: I'm honored to get the baton from you, Ieyasu-sama (❁´◡`❁)✨✨✨

Ieyasu: Just start with the running already

ヽ(`д´；)/!!!

3rd point, Kenshin and Mitsunari. Despite the slight delay, both of them running in par with one another.

"You are amazing despite having a drink just now, Kenshin-sama."

"Heh. That is nothing much. Besides, you are not bad yourself."

Meanwhile, at the 4th point...

Mitsuhide: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^) My, hello fellow betrayer.

Ranmaru: QAQ Don't put it that way please~~

Now the baton in both of their respective hands, Ranmaru didn't hesitate to use his ninja skills for a quick stride, and that won't stop Mitsuhide either.

The final point: Hideyoshi and Kennyo.

Both: *Glares at one another*

Kennyo: To think that Nobunaga's lap dog would participate.

Hideyoshi: What did you say ୧( ಠ Д ಠ )୨?? Ah, here he comes..! Pass it here, Mitsuhide!

Mitsuhide: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^) My, my, someone is impatient. Did you miss me, Hideyoshi?

Hideyoshi: GSHJSKAALF JUST BE QUICK WILL YOU ヽ(`д´；)/??

Mitsuhide: Okay~~

Also Mitsuhide: Ah-

*S T A B*

Everyone in the field: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 *GASSSPPPPP*

Mitsuhide: My apologies, Hideyoshi. The running makes my legs tire witn fatigue it seems.

Current Hideyoshi's state: *Baton sticking out in his butthole* A-are you trying to kill me, Mitsuhide--- ugh- *faints*

Ranmaru: *Is stuck between helping Hideyoshi but also want to pass the baton to Kennyo* Aaaah I'm sorry, Hideyoshi-sama 😭!! Kennyo-sama!! Here!! *Pass the baton*

Kennyo: *Wince with an eye twitch to Hideyoshi* I pray for the health of your.. W-well. *Runs*

Winner: Team 1.

Kenshin: Kimono is great. But a kiss from you is better.

MC: Wha wha wha o////o..!

Shingen: Are you stealing my lines 😒? So rude~

Kennyo: Hands off your filthy hands on her, Shingen.

Ranmaru: Yaaaay Kimono by Princess (∩´∀`∩)💕!!

Yukimura: *Looking at Hideyoshi who is surrounded by the Azuchi lots* That's.. The most horrifying thing ever ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ *shivers*

Meanwhile..

Nobunaga: Your sacrifice will be remembered and honoured, Hideyoshi.

Mitsunari: Noooo Hideyoshi-sama is not a virgin anymoreeee 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ieyasu: Mitsunari what in the smoking duck-

Mitsunari: Huh? But MC said like that since Hideyoshi-sama is Nobunaga-sama's wife or something just now.. Huh? Ieyasu-sama, a duck can smoke 😱😱😱???

Ieyasu: Yes, just like you 😒.

Mitsuhide: May you rest in peace, my fellow right hand.

Masamune: May your butt rest well, lad. *sighs*

Hideyoshi:

Hideyoshi: HEY S T O P!! I'M NOT DEAD YET ୧( ಠ Д ಠ )୨!!!

#ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku imagines #ikemen sengoku mc #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #ikemen sengoku masamune #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikemen sengoku mitsunari #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikemen sengoku sasuke #ikemen sengoku ieyasu #ikemen sengoku yukimura #ikemen sengoku kennyo #ikemen sengoku ranmaru

84 notes · View notes

fisheadz · 2 years

Text

This was originally on Wattpad, my account on there is fisHead, or XaviPalacios3, so if y’all don’t like it here, u can go there

Buck’s PoV~

"Drowning." That's the only word I could pull from my conscience. Thirteen years more or less of school and I couldn't think of any other words then drowning. Pathetic.

"Any other thoughts? Pain, sadness, anger?," the therapist Maddie forced me to go to kicking and screaming, that I wasn't sure was a real therapist and not just some rando that waltzed in and applied for the position, asked me for the third time this week. I was getting sick of it. Though I always feel sick these days so I couldn't tell for sure. "Fear, disgust?"

"All of the above," I replied, shifting a little in the armchair that I wanted to throw at the woman in front of me. The chair that was so plush it made me wanna vomit. "Are we done yet? I'm fine." I wasn't anywhere near fine, but this therapist won't be either if this goes on any longer. Said "professional" sighed in, what my scarred mind interpreted as, disappointment. I don't blame her. I'm rather exhausting.

"Well, if you want to stop this session early, I can't stop you-" I cut her off by shooting up from the chair, snatching my bag from the floor beside it, and bolting out the door without another word. I was tired, though I always was no matter how much sleep I got, and I just wanted to lay down and relax. Plus, I smell horrible from the lack of showering. I just have to tough it out, I can't be afraid to get wet forever. And this goddamn "therapist" isn't helping at all. But I couldn't just skip therapy 'cause Maddie was keeping tabs with the "therapist". I'm such a hot mess, except for the hot. I lost that confidence when everyone around me made me realize how dumb it was. Even Maddie was losing faith.

I walked to my car, which was all the way across the lot. The closer spots shouldn't be wasted on me. Getting into my Jeep, I slammed the door, just barely missing my leg by a few inches. I felt kinda disappointed at that. Sighing, I looked at the little picture on the dash, snapped by Carla while we weren't looking. It was of Christopher, laying on the floor with me and Eddie, playing a video game on Eddies TV.

I glared at my happy face, the smile lines that made me look so much older, the stupid grin on my face as I won at whatever game it was, already lost to my memory. Eddie looked so happy too, unaware that just a month later, the same man he was laughing with would lose his son, almost getting him killed. Little did Chris know that, a month later, he would be drowning in the water with the already deceased, scarring his young mind forever.

As the moment came back to me, I started to breathe heavily, as though I was breathing for the first time in while. The waves crashed into me yet again, slamming my body into the little game bar thing that Christopher was hidden under. The little game bar thing that wasn't good enough to stop him from being dragged away. That would have trapped him under the water if it had been enough. I listened to the water rushing into my ears and nose and lungs and stomach and heart and brain. I was drowning, and I didn't know if I had the strength to pull myself out anymore.

~An hour later~

I managed to drive myself home. I have no idea how I did, with my body shaking and vision blurred by the nonexistent water in them. All I know is that I made it home without hurting anyone else. I hoped Athena didn't find out that I drove without a clear head, or the reason I didn't have a clear head in the first place. No one needed to get caught up in my shit.

I stayed parked on the curb for a little while, recollecting myself so that no one would notice how distressed I was. I didn't wanna have to make up another "my cat passed away" or "my grandma's in the hospital" story to get them off my back. Eventually, I decided to man the fuck up and step out of my Jeep. Immediately I was hit by the smell of the city, if that makes any sense. It wasn't a good or bad smell, some fumes from the exhaust pipe of passing vehicles, street food wafting from around the corner, stuff like that. So simple yet so distinct from, say, grass or the ocean.

I was sad that I couldn't smell the ocean from where I lived. Such a comforting and sweet smell, though if I was close enough to smell to ocean, I would probably be able to see it too, and I probably wouldn't be able to handle those hypnotic waves beckoning me to let them be my end. I don't know why I was thinking about smells and the ocean trying to kill me. I don't know why a lot of things happen these days. Or any other day for that matter.

"Sir, are you alright?" I jumped at the older woman's voice coming from in front of me. She had a look of concern on her rather kind face. "You've been standing here for a while so I decided to come over and see if you needed help." I let her words sink in, not fully understanding them at first.

"Oh, yeah, I'm A-OK!" I responded, forcing a smile on my face and a happy tone to my voice. I've gotten a lot better at lying in these past few months, with Hen and Maddie always questioning my well-being.

The lady didn't seem to buy my ruse though, with the look she gave me.

"If you ever want to talk about anything, I live in the first floor, apartment 4. I used to be a volunteer therapist for the elderly." She informed me. I wasn't even sure that was a thing, though with how everything has been in the past couple years, we need all the therapy we can get.

"Oh, well, I'll see if I have time, I have a rather busy schedule..." I trailed off. I didn't want to drag this poor lady into my problems.

"OK, you take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will, thank you," I said, smiling at her before walking into the building. I could see apartment four from the entrance and really considered the old woman's offer. She's seen a lot of cases like mine, surely.

If she did therapy services for the elderly, they've seen a lot, she might be able to help me. While I hate bothering others with my issues, those issues have been impairing my abilities at work. Panic attacks, flashbacks, the near-constant twitching, someone was bound to find out sooner or later. That being said, I'd much rather it be on my own terms then otherwise.

Plus, that "therapist" that I'm already seeing is just making the situation worse, so it couldn't hurt to try something else. However, that's only the case if the old lady had a different way of helping her patients then that other chick.

Sighing for the hundredth time today, I walked towards the elevator. After pressing the button to call the elevator down to my level, I tapped my foot and thought about the events of the day.

Waking up to Maddie calling me for the seventeenth time, only to find that I was running late for a rather short shift at the firehouse, tripping while trying to pull my pants up and knocking my bad knee into the corner of my dresser, getting scolded at by Bobby for being late, a rather small house fire, a dog stuck in a sweltering elevator after the owner got distracted and forgot about the open elevator in front of them and their dog wandering into it.

It didn't survive, and the owner said they were gonna sue the company in charge of the construction of the building for the malfunction that caused the elevator to stall. Then therapy, the mental breakdown, the old lady, all the way back here, in front of the elevator that's been open for a while as I stood there lost in thought.

I quickly stepped into the, after today's events, intimidating elevator and pressed the button to go to the fifth floor. I was so tired that I considered just letting myself take a short nap here. It was late and, from what I've seen in the time I've lived here, a lot of the residents worked from home, meaning that-

What am I thinking? Jeez, I'm losing my goddamn mind. The ding indicating that the elevator has arrived at the fifth floor startled me out of letting my thoughts turn dark and self-deprecating. I quickly stepped out and looked around at the eerily empty hallways. Then I turned the the left and walked down the long hallway that seemed to go on forever. Counting down the steps till I reached my apartment, apartment thirty-four.

All I wanted was to lie down and rest. I've gotten little to no sleep this past week or so. And any sleep I did get was riddled with nightmares about the tsunami, the firetruck crushing my leg, losing Chris....

I didn't even realize I was in my loft until I bumped my hip into the corner of the table. After whining like a baby for a few minutes and watching the bruise appear on my skin, I trudged my way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Once I was done with my business I leaned on the sink, holding myself up with my shaking arms, and stared at my disheveled reflection. My blondish-red-brown hair was a bit of a rats nest, random curls sticking up in odd places, oily from the lack of self care and showering. The dark circles under my eyes, almost like makeup. My cracked lips, split from me biting them. I was a horrible sight to behold.

Turning around and walking out of the bathroom seemed impossible, but I did it, somehow. It was like my limbs were on autopilot.

My phone dinged from my pocket, making me jump in surprise. After I fished it out, I read the message, sent from Maddie. "I heard u left therapy early. What happened?" I groaned and tried to think of a response. All I could come up with was that I was feeling nauseous and tired so I left. Well it was mostly the truth. I plugged my phone in and set it on the nightstand by my bed. As I did, it dinged again. "OK, get some sleep alright? Ly, goodnight".

I sent back a love you, goodnight of my own and laid down after taking my shoes off. I replayed everything that happened today in head again. Just then, my phone dinged yet again. I winced and sat up. Everything was aching. My head, my leg, my hip and stomach and throat. It felt like I was beaten with a sledgehammer.

I picked up my phone and looked at the contact. Eddie. What does he want at... 11:21. I didn't realize it was that late. I then read the text.

"Are u down to come over tomorrow, Chris wants to see u".

Confusion pooled in my head, but I was too exhausted to formulate a response to his text. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I laid back down and closed my eyes, but I couldn't sleep. I sighed, knowing that I'll pass out from sleep deprivation eventually. I'll just have to wait till then.

#buddie #911 fox #eddie x buck #fanfic #part 1 of idk how many #idk what im doing #plz halp #this is garbage #slowlyslowly #wattpad

4 notes · View notes

boop-le-snoot · 4 years

Text

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 27

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: If you read carefully, you knew this; if you didn't: reader was drugged at the party. Hangover from Hell ft. boys being cute, Loki being best friend material and reader fully integrating him into the Gen-Z community via Monster energy drinks and depressive music whilst being sad. I live for Loki/reader friendship tbh.

So folks, this is the last big plot thing before the endgame. I reckon it's about 10-15 chapters left until out happy ending and the next bit is going to focus on developing reader's and Stephen's relationship. There will be smutty parts too - either chapters or interludes, idk, depending on how well they'll integrate into the story.

I love y'all.

Ow, was my first thought upon waking up. My head throbbed something fierce, the pressure behind my eyelids was unbearable and my mouth tasted like a bog on a sunny summer's day. I was warm, from both sides, and one of the bodies felt foreign in everything besides the smell - sandalwood leaked through the lead curtain of alcohol and sex.

Needless to say, I had trouble piecing together the fine details of last night but had enough coherence to remember our... Activities. I was sore and Strange's long arm was still possessively draped over both me and Tony. The luck was on my side as I carefully wiggled out of his grasp, padding to the bedroom on quiet feet. The sorcerer barely moved, only grumbling briefly at the loss of my warmth and immediately quieting, shamelessly snuggling into Tony.

I would have not exaggerated if I said it was the worst hangover of my life. It was baffling, really, because I'd gone way wilder and didn't suffer half as much after effects; my first attempt to brush my teeth ended with my face resting against the toilet bowl, my empty stomach rejecting what little liquid in it was left as the room spun on its axis. That was incredibly embarrassing and I hoped my boys wouldn't wake up to witness my best impression of a bum - and they didn't, both men still sound asleep and interwined like snakes when I put on the shirt closest to me and departed in search of coffee.

My mood only worsened. Steve and Bucky were already up, shoveling an impressive amount of eggs and bacon, as Bucky quietly teased Steve about his own hangover. The blonde man was slightly greenish, disheveled - we traded equally glum looks and nodded to each other in silence. The smell of food made my stomach churn and I retreated, one black coffee in hand, towards Bruce's lab, having been informed by Friday that neither Tony not Stephen planned on waking up.

"Morning, Princess," Bruce smiled kindly, pushing his glasses out of the way to hold me close and give me a sweet kiss. "Had fun? The boys still asleep?"

I giggled at Bruce calling Tony and Stephen boys. "Yeah. I wouldn't be wearing Stephen's shirt if he was up and about, I think." I pointed out the obvious.

Bruce chuckled, holding my face to give me a long, thoughtful look. I stared back, hoping convey my respect and adoration without having to say a word; like Tony, I wasn't particularly apt when it came to talking feelings. Whatever Bruce was looking for, he found it, and sealed it with another kiss, twice as long and twice as sweet. We stood like that, my head on his shoulder and my arms firmly holding him to myself, until the elevator dinged behind the glass wall, revealing a shirtless Stephen and Tony in his pajama pants, both men bickering animatedly.

"Aw shit, here we go again," I rolled my eyes, unhappy about the possibility of the magic being broken. I rather preferred all three men to be like yesterday: friendly, kind and relaxed.

"I will kick them out if I have to," Bruce shrugged, turning me around to face them.

Tony smiled, seeing me, stopping mid-conversation. "Princess, I am disappointed in your lack of manners. You left me with Merlin and he is mean." The engineer unceremoniously snatched me from Bruce and smooched me, hangover breath and all.

"Gross, Tony," I rolled my eyes, giving the man a light shove in the chest. "Morning, Steph," I addressed the third man who had gone back to his usual stoic expression. Just to see his resolve crack, because I loved pushing his buttons, I gave him a good morning kiss too, and was unexpectedly blown away by the eager response from his side. As I pulled back, I noticed his cheeks dusting a light pink.

"I came to get my shirt but I think you'd rather keep it," The sorcerer's fingers caressed my skin beneath the collar of his shirt, voice still low and scratchy from sleep and those magnetic eyes fixated on the exposed flesh of my chest, no trace of previous awkwardness.

"You sure 'bout that?" I pushed one of the sides off, exposing my shoulder, seeing Tony gulp the remainder of my coffee, one hand already messing with the screen that Bruce was focused on. "I think I look better without it," I would never miss an opportunity to tease the uptight man.

"Quite," He grinned, "It's a shame I didn't get to see much last night..." Two could play this game, okay.

"Oh, but you will," Tony piped up suddenly, a hint of smugness in his voice barely covered by Bruce's fond chuckle. I really didn't know what to say, suddenly overwhelmed with the attention, my emotions amplified by the hangover - party drugs tended to exaggerate my anxiety on the comedown.

And what a comedown it was. My social energy ran out very quickly so I complained about a nasty headache and retreated into my room, Bruce's gentle hands pressing a bottle of Ibuprofen into my own. Despite my attempts to tame my rioting body, it got worse before it got better and shortly before lunch, I had thrown up twice more. Pissed off, I ran a bath with cold water and sat in it until I felt somewhat human to prepare myself for a journey to Wanda's apartment - as a last resort, I was going to chug on of Pietro's Monster energy drinks that I knew he kept hidden there.

The retrieval was a success. Cans securely hidden in the kangaroo pocket of Tony's oversized hoodie I had thrown on, I had to make a haste detour to throw up once again - the closest bathroom was in Loki's apartment and I only managed to knock twice before throwing open the door and making a mad dash for the porcelain throne, a very confused Asgardian following my movements with raised eyebrows.

"Hangover from Hell," I croaked once the first wave subsided. Loki nodded in understanding, waved a hand to summon me a water bottle and shut the door behind himself.

As I sat there, desperately trying to understand why was I feeling like utter shit... It clicked. Bile rose to my throat once again, and I just dry heaving, mulling my revelation over and over again.

I didn't take any drugs. I had been drugged. My memories became hazy and dream-like shortly after someone had given me the drink... Someone, who? It was a split-second moment; Sam, even in his drunk state, didn't keep his eyes off me for too long. Maybe it had been someone the team knew? Possibilities began playing out in my head. Cursed was my overactive brain - the anxiety from the leftover drugs was making me panic.

"Fuck, FUCK," My hands shook - I only noticed it because I had spilled water on myself, adding cold and wet to the unpleasant sensations I was already experiencing. "Why am I such a fucking fuck-up." Taking a drink from a stranger seemed downright idiotic now. Middle school bullshit.

"Are you alright?" Loki's worried voice interrupted my inner monologue.

"Yes," I replied, voice cracking. "No. I don't fucking know."

The door all but flew open, the Asgardian taking several long strides to take a good long look at me. The frown on his face tells me all I needed to know about my physical and mental state.

A slender hand tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "What happened?"

I laughed tersely, feeling tears to begin welling in the corners of my eyes. "I'm an idiot," Seeing his face get annoyed briefly, I conceded: "I got drugged yesterday. My drink."

The hand that he had slid between my shoulder blades froze. I felt his whole body go rigid and his nostrils flare, the smell of ozone and something foreign - magic - filling the small space. The air around us became charged with the power of his anger. "Pardon?" His voice was dangerously quiet.

I physically fought with the need to flinch away from him, settling for lowering my eyes and staring at the dark stain on my hoodie. "I got carried away dancing. Someone handed me a drink and my stupid ass just shotgunned it," I confessed, picking at the wet spot. "And I can't tell anybody because I had a threesome with Stephen and Tony," I suddenly realised, my voice raising in pitch. "They're gonna think I didn't want it and feel bad. You know how Tony blames himself for everything under the sun..." Another wave of dizziness and nausea hit me as I leaned against the wall closest to me.

"Alright," Loki conceded after a brief pause. "We absolutely are telling the others. I'll make sure they understand," The Asgardian stated firmly in a tone that bore no argument. Seeing me lift my head to protest, he interrupted me before I could say anything: "Did you... Did you want it?" He asked me, hooking a single finger under my chin to look me in the eye.

I nodded, feeling my face heat up.

"You're not lying. The team knows of my ability to detect lies. Nobody will blame anyone..." Loki trailed off, obviously already plotting something. I wished it were a prank both of us were conspiring on instead of... Trying to make sense of this cluster fuck of a shit show. The circus called, they seemed to have left their clowns behind. "Although I will have a word with Sam." The Asgardian muttered darkly.

"No, it's not his fault. I just got too relaxed, I need to pucker up and be responsible for myself," I protested, damn well knowing it wasn't the Bird's fault. Everyone was drunk and I should've known better.

"It's not yours either," Loki sneered, seeing right through my self-loathing. It took a deep, slow sigh for him to calm down. His expression softened and the hand that was on my back resumed the gentle stroking as he scooted closer to me to press my side against his chest. "Vile people of this kind aren't exclusive to Midgard. It could have happened to anyone."

I nodded, my logical part briefly taking over as the waves of nausea and dizziness waned. I stifled a giggle, coming to another sudden revelation. "You holding up my hair as I barf out my hangover? That makes you qualified for the position of my Best Friend," I stated with a snort.

Loki chuckled, relaxing bit by bit. "I accept the position," His voice was unusually soft and a little bit shaky; I chose to tactfully ignore it. "Shall I call for assembly in the war room?"

I sighed, the dread and anxiety creeping it's way back in. "Can we just... Wait a bit? I have something- hold on-" I rummaged around my pocket, taking out two cans of Monster. Loki eyed them curiously and I extended one to him. "It probably won't do much for you but for me it's a last-resort hangover cure." I popped open the metal cap, seeing him do the same. "Be warned though, it tastes kinda funky if you're not used to it," I announced the disclaimer but it simply egged Loki on.

The scrunched up face he made was pretty funny. "It's sour but sickeningly sweet at the same time? I can't tell," He briefly eyed the written ingredients on the can.

"There are a bunch of flavors. Pietro likes the plain one, I like the purple one better, it's not so tongue-burning." I paused to inhale loudly. "If this is what college life looks like, I don't want to go," Mustering up my courage and gathering my balls in a knot, with one broad motion I closed my nose and poured the carbonated acid down my throat until my eyes watered. "Gimme a minute," I hiccuped, trying to keep it down.

Wide-eyed, Loki took a chaste sip of his own drink, eyeing me warily. He looked part impressed part disgusted with the little stunt. "I am pretty certain that is counter-productive."

"Caffeine make brain and body go skrrt," I argued back. "Friday, play my "grant me the sweet release of death" playlist. I'm upset," I announced and the AI obliged silently, the first notes of Placebo's 'Exit Wounds' beginning to play. If I was going to mop in a stranger's bathroom, I was going to do it with style. Even if said style was just simply stealing in my own misery with emo background music.

Loki stared at me, I stared back, both of us lost in our respective minds. At one point, he began swaying to the music slightly, resting the cool tin of the can against his cheek; I followed suit, mouthing along to some of the lyrics. It took us about a dozen songs to finally finish the liquid acid that was Monster energy drink and my ass felt like the bathroom tile itself: flat and hard.

"Do you ever feel like the universe just hates you for no fucking reason?" I groused, taking Loki's outstretched hand and slowly feeling the blood rush back to my legs.

"You wouldn't believe," He rolled his eyes in solidarity, vanishing away the empty containers. "Norns, give me a Hel-damned break."

I laced his arm through mine as we exited his apartment, feeling considerably less upset than I was before. I couldn't protect myself, but one look at Loki's sullen, irritated expression was bound to scare off anyone who dared to interrupt our mission.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

#party favours #bun writes #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x reader #stephen strange x y/n #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader

80 notes · View notes