#🦌🦌🦌🦌

[horrorlesbians]

i want ten million trinkets but i also want my death to not be a burden for those I leave behind

[one-voice-of-many]

Idk maybe that's why

[hazbin-alastor]

Some of my favorite bits from the official Hazbin Hotel comic titled "The Radio Demon / A Day In The After Life" (10.19.2020):

Alastor manifests a hat just to twirl it and then yeet it at some ladies

Alastor cursing up a storm at Vox (officially the very first time he ever curses!)

Alastor drinks Respect Women Juice™ 🧃

[angelicdewdrop]

[zarovichs]

qimir is insane actually. imagine seeing identical twins and then going 'one of you is okay, the other one is extremely hot' and then he can tell them apart without effort. blindfolded even

[deer-diary-from-hell]

Do yall fw transfem poppy and transmasc boxten

[geekyfannerd]

"Is that all you got? That's cute~💕" -👑🐍🍎

Tap/click image for better resolution 💖

[callibrin]

— ʟᴇᴛ's ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀʟ, ᴍʏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ!

[pr3ttyf4wn]

"-Ma, m'not rubbin' your feet. Just cause you're pregnant with a baby I didn't even want, don't mean I gotta be all nice nd shit to you." You knew Chris was going to say no, but it was worth a shot anyway. Your feet hurt, being all swollen and achy from being pregnant, and you just wanted your boyfriend to do something nice for you.

"Chris, please, I won't ask you to do anything for me for like a week, you don't even have to talk to me." Your voice has that whiney tone that he hates, but still can't find it in himself to be to mean to you.

He may be a dick head and he might not give a single fuck about the kid when they're born, but his mom taught him better. "Yeah, yeah as long as you'll stop bitchin' about everything."

"Thank you, Chris." A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips when he tugs your feet onto his lap with a huff, rubbing them gently, even as he grumbles and complains about this being bullshit and "y'know I don't have to do this stuff f'you. I could be smoking a joint right now, but I'm here with you, you better be grateful."

a https--roman scroll ☆

[abbyspup]

i need to sink my teeth into her arms like a feral dog (pics from pinterest)

[horrorlesbians]

sorry I liked your post a second after you posted it I don’t have a life

[alastwhorez]

Thinking about human Alastor sitting his glasses on your head..

It was the early hours of the morning when he walked through the door covered in blood. Another successful night of hunting. You rush out of your shared bedroom hearing the door slam shut only to find your dear husband.

He walks to the bathroom you follow quickly behind. He is leaning against the sink, resting his face in his palms, glasses pushed up on top of his head as he lets out a sigh. You slowly walk over to him. “Al.. everything alright?” You sweetly ask. He looks up at you from his crouched position, smiling.

He stands to his full height smiling down at you. You walk over to the tub to run him a bath. As you walk back over to your husband he removes his glasses from his head and sits them on top of yours as he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

You help him undress and into the water, crouching down on your knees as you start to wash his hair. His eyes close as he relaxes to your touch. He lets a moan slip past his lips at the feeling of your fingers in his hair.

You finish cleaning him and sit in a comfortable silence until his water has run cold. Al drains the tub and grabs a towel as you walk back over to the silk taking his glasses off your head and cleaning them of the blood splatter.

You place his glasses back on your head as you turn to find your husband in nothing but a towel, water dripping down his chest and hair hanging in his eyes.

He slowly walks over to you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he picks up his glasses, placing them back on his face. He kisses your cheek.

“Thank you” he whispers against your lips as he comes close for another kiss.

“What for?” You ask giggling as he rubs his lips against yours not yet kissing you.

“For loving me”

[elesketchii]

buurp self indulgent art time! shoving the big tough man adopts reckless teenage girl trope in your face rn

[talesof-old]

literally anything with dad!james please he would be the best dad ever

- 🦌

james potter would’ve been the best dad ever 😔

pairing(s): dad!james potter x pregnant!reader

warning(s): reader is pregnant though it’s not the focus, james as a dad, reader is a mom, breakfast in bed, i picture harry being a very happy child okay, if you see any mistake no you didn’t

word count: 941

masterlist

“Shhh, we don’t want to wake Mummy up yet.”

You shifted in your bed, face pressed against the pillow. Faintly, you could hear the giggles of James and Harry, muffled by the closed door. You sighed. Sunlight filtered in through the gaps of the curtains, shining across your bed in brilliant beams. The clock on your bedside read: 9:28.

You rubbed your eyes, hauling yourself from the bed and shuffling into the bathroom. You were quick to finish your business, palm resting on your swollen stomach. In a few minutes, you’d managed to brush your teeth and straighten your hair, choosing to instead investigate the reasoning behind your husband and son’s laughter.

“No! Mummy…” The words were loud and petulant from your son, though James at least had the decency to wince. You frowned.

“You’re s’pposed to be in bed.” Harry was waving his arms about like you’d foiled their whole plan. You spared a glance at your husband, amusement already taking root. Both of them looked a mess, hair askew and clothes covered in flour. You crouched down, holding your arms out to your son. He humphed but complied, curling into your arms and nuzzling into your chest.

“Morning, Haz.” His response was quiet as he let you hold him. Four years old and already a carbon copy of his father, you were certain he’d give James a run for his money as he got older. Your heart pinched. Time had flown by so quickly. Your baby was already walking and talking and playing, and soon enough he’d be off to school. Tears pricked at your eyes but you willed them away, shifting your hold on Harry to pull him into your hip. Your back strained but you ignored the twinge. James pressed a kiss to your temple.

You raised a brow. “Breakfast in bed was the goal.”

Harry wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. You rubbed his back, rocking back and forth as you smiled.

“Should Mummy go back to bed then?” You poked Harry’s side. He giggled, swatting at your hand. “Yes!” You laughed, running a hand through his messy hair and kissing his forehead.

“Help Daddy, alright?” Harry nodded solemnly as you put him down. James’ eyes were soft as he regarded you, fondness oozing off of him in waves. You leaned forward, lips locking with his for a brief moment before you heard your son making gagging noises at the two of you. You pulled away with a mock sound of offense, chasing him back to your bedroom with the threat of tickles. Harry’s screams of laughter echoed through the house as you made your way back to your bedroom.

It was only once you’d settled back into the sheets that James called him to come back to the kitchen. The soft patter of his feet leading him away from you had your heart steadying. Your boys, however wild they were, never failed to want to spoil you.

The sound of plates clinking down the hallway had you grinning. James pushed open the door, bent over Harry, hands hovering over his to make sure he didn’t drop the tray. His still chubby cheeks were red and his eyes focused as he shuffled towards you. You cooed as James helped him set the tray onto your lap.

“You helped with this?” You made your eyes comically wide as Harry climbed onto your bed, kneeling on the blankets and grinning. “Obviously.” He shrugged.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. Obviously. James rubbed the back of his neck and gave you a sheepish look. “He helped with the pancakes.”

And sure enough, the oddly shaped pancakes could’ve only been done by your four year old. “Are you sure? Looks like the pancakes you made me last Sunday.” James’ mouth fell open in indignation. Harry, using your distraction, took a quick bite of your muffin before shuffling to lay under your covers.

You rubbed his head. “Comfy, Haz?” He nodded, burying his face into the soft fabric of your pillow.

“I make pancakes wonderfully, thank you.” You hummed, grabbing the fork and taking a bite. James watched with bright eyes. You leaned closer to Harry, whispering, “I think you make them better than Daddy.” Harry’s giggles were muffled only by the pillow as James flopped down beside him. You kept a hand on the tray to prevent any messes.

“My own family has betrayed me.” He grabbed a hold of Haz, blowing raspberries on his stomach as he shrieked. Your cheeks began to ache from smiling, but god, did you love them. Harry wiggled from James’ grasp and jumped off the bed. You watched as he rolled and smirked at his father, goading him into a chase. James, never one to lose, not even to his son, was up in an instant. He chased him all throughout the house while you ate. While quiet mornings were few and far between, you couldn’t help the way your heart melted at the sound of your son’s laughter or the way James treated him with so much love.

The laughter dissolved and soon enough James was carrying Haz back to your bed. James’ voice grew loud as he spoke. “I’ve got my little traitor!” Your son flopped down, eyes shut as he caught his breath only to cuddle back up to you.

“I love you, even if you don’t like my pancakes.”

James kissed your forehead, cuddling up to Harry. You hummed.

“Don’t worry, honey. I love your pancakes.” James half-heartedly hit your shoulder with his pillow.

“There are children around!”

+++

[zarovichs]

one of the funniest things in disco elysium hands down is when you learn your prime suspect for the murder fled days ago because she heard the engine of kim's car and kim's only response to that is 'well i'm so sorry that my car fucks i'm sorry that my dick is huge. anyway'

[deer-diary-from-hell]

Dandy’s world new update was fire

BONUS:

Other versions

Heh..