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#''Oh maybe I'm faking it'' or ''Maybe it's not so bad''
darkbluekies · 14 hours
Note
Hey blue! How are you? I just wanted to say that i LOVE your OC Hedwig. When could we get more of her please? (Oh and i'm not forcing you to write about her right away ofc, take your time!!<33)
Let her burn
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Female!yandere x reader
Summary: someone is trying to take you from Hedwig, and she will not allow it, she will watch them burn.
Warnings: basically assault, reader blaming themselves, arson, public humiliation, hitmen, bully mentality, fake friends
Word count: 3.4k
The sun is out for once and everyone in school — even the ones you would classify as allergic to the sun — is outside in the school yard. You and Hedwig’s group of popular rats have occupied one of the tables with benches. You're sitting on the bench and Hedwig right above you on the table with her face turned upwards, eyes closed. The others talk about parties they're invited to, what they're going to buy with the money they've made, what clothes look good and what makes them nauseous — extra points if the clothes already exist on a person in a fifteen meter radius.
You stand up. Hedwig turns down her head and looks at you through her sunglasses.
“I'll go buy a juice from the vending machine”, you say. “The sun makes me thirsty.”
She's about to grab her handbag and join you, but you shake your head.
“You can stay, I'll be back in a minute”, you say.
“Are you sure?” she asks hesitantly. 
You nod and turn to walk before she has a chance to protest. You need to get away from Hedwig and her friends' constant shittalk. You've never heard Hedwig join in on their degrading teasing, but she has her own reasons for you wanting some minutes to yourself. Reasons that others are jealous of you for. 
You walk into the school and breathe out, run your hand through your hair. Deciding that if you don't want Hedwog to suspect that you ditched her and her friends because of their presence, you make your way through the empty corridors to the vending machine and take out the wallet that Hedwig gifted you. You pop a few coins into the slot and hover your finger over the juice option.
“Y/N”, a voice says.
You turn your head to one of the girls that hang out in Hedwig’s group, Noelle. She's in the cheerleading team — captain, even, if you're not mistaken — and is always judging the other girls on the team. You hear about it at lunch every single day. Confused, you look at her. What could she want you? She has never wanted to speak with you before, always pretended that you don’t exist … or at least that’s what you thought. 
“Uhm … hi”, you say and glance behind you, to see if someone else had sent her. 
“‘Uhm … hi’”, she chuckles, taking a step forward. “Is that the best you can do after all the time we’ve spent together? You act if this is the first time we’ve met.”
“Technically it is. You’ve never tried to speak to me before.”
“And you’ve never tried to speak with me either, not only my fault.”
You turn around and press the right button for the juice and watch it fall down from its shelf. You can hear Noelle move closer behind you and you’re not sure why your heart skips a beat, and why you’re suddenly on high alert. Maybe it has something to do with the students who have hurt you because of your relationship with Hedwig, or maybe the fact that you know how Noelle acts. You’ve never liked her. 
“You know … if Hedwig hadn’t been so quick to snatch you, I’d given you a shot”, she says, suddenly too close to you for your liking. 
You can’t help but be … surprised? 
“Really?” you question before you have time to stop yourself. 
“Of course”, Noelle says as if it was obvious and that you were stupid for not recognizing it, making you feel stupid.  
“I uh … didn’t know.”
Noelle scoffs out a laugh and you want nothing more than to leave, but you don’t want to be impolite to her, don’t want to give her a reason to talk bad about you … but you have a feeling that’s going to be inevitable. You squeeze the juice packet like a stressball. 
“We should go back out”, you say and try to walk past her, but she grabs your arm. 
“I won’t get to talk to you while we’re out there”, she complaints. “Hedwig’s so fucking insecure. She can’t even let you talk to anyone else without becoming jealous.”
You’ve never been this uncomfortable before. You’re frozen in place, confused on what to do. Noelle is Hedwig’s friend and you don’t want to upset her, but you don’t wish to conversate with her any longer. 
You only manage to mutter one excuse that actually lets you go. “I have to pee.”
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“Two deciliters of sugar …”, Hedwig reads aloud and grabs the sugar package. “Should we do a little more? Just in case? I don’t want the pie to become bitter.”
“Why would it be bitter?” you question from the other side of the kitchen aisle. 
Hedwig looks up from the deciliter cup she’s holding, looking clueless. “Rhubarb is bitter, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but I don’t think the pie will be bitter.”
“Let’s just add a little more … just in case.”
Your eyes glue onto the trees outside the window, replaying today’s events. You haven’t told Hedwig about yours and Noelle’s conversation, not sure if you should. Hedwig can’t stand knowing that other people could have an interest in you, and she can’t let things go easily. If you tell her this, that could be harmless, she might go around dreading it for weeks … which will go out on you too. But it feels wrong to keep it to yourself. Noelle basically hit on you … shouldn’t you let your girlfriend know? But what if Hedwig thinks that you liked having Noelle basically hit on you? What if she becomes mad at you? 
“Sweetheart?”
You flinch and look up. Hedwig’s looking at you with worried eyes from across the kitchen aisle. 
“You aren’t listening”, she says quietly and lets go of the whisk. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“No”, you say and shake your head. “I’m just tired. My head hurts.”
You lower your head to avoid looking at her. You feel dirty, somehow, as if you have betrayed her even though you didn’t want to talk to Noelle. Besides, you didn’t do anything, right? Why can’t you look her in the eye? 
Hedwig walks around the kitchen aisle and cups your cheeks in her hands, directing it up to her. She runs one of her hands through your hair. 
“My poor girl/boy”, she coos with a pout. “Do you want something? A cup of tea?”
You nod. Hedwig smiles and lets you go. She walks over to the marble kitchen counter and turns on the kettle. You’re presented with a cup of breakfast tea just a few minutes later. Hedwig hugs you from behind and kisses your cheek before leaning her chin on your shoulder. 
“You will get some rhubarb pie soon, okay?” she says. 
You nod. Hedwig continues to whisk things together as you watch and slowly sip your tea. A message notification pops up on your phone, from an instagram profile you recognize. You don’t follow it, because you’re not allowed to follow anyone else but Hedwig and your family, but you see who does. The profile picture is taken on school grounds, in the cheerleading uniform. 
“meet me tmr in the music room at 11 i wanna tell you something”
You stare at your screen, feeling your body go numb. 
“Y/N!” 
You flinch again and look up to meet Hedwig’s eyes. They’re burning with rage and worry. 
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” she asks and frowns. “I’m talking to you.”
“I’m sorry”, you reply. “What did you say?”
“Can you open the oven?”
You get up from your chair and walks over to the oven, grabbing the handle. 
“Be really careful”, Hedwig says. “It’s hot. Don’t burn yourself.”
You open the oven, but your hand lingers for too long, burning the side of it. You shriek and jump back, clutching it with your other hand. 
“Oh, my Gosh, Y/N!” Hedwig exclaims and rushes the pie into the oven. “I told you to be careful!”
She closes the oven and hurries to wash your hand under a stream of cold water. 
“What is with you today?” she asks worriedly. “You’re not yourself.”
“I’m just tired”, you lie. 
“Is that all? Really?”
“And my head hurts. I told you.”
“Y/N-”
“I just need to rest.”
Hedwig sighs and pulls you with her to the bathroom where you’re sat down on the toilet seat while she looks for bandaids. You feel oh, so guilty. Hedwig takes care of your hand and gives it a soft kiss. She looks you in the eye in a way that makes your stomach twist. You want to tell her about her friend, but you can’t predict the outcome. 
“You would tell me if there was something going on … wouldn’t you?” she asks slowly. 
You can’t bring yourself to answer. If you open your mouth, your voice will fail you. Instead, you choke back your words and give her a small nod. It looks like she wants to say something, tell you that she doesn’t believe you, but keeps quiet. 
She curls up closely in your arms that night. If you try to remove your arms, she’s quick to pull them back, as if she’s assuring herself that you’re still here — with her. She’s always curled up in your arms at night, with her head on your chest, but tonight her embrace feels even tighter. 
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The days go by. Noelle seem to pop up whenever you’re alone, which has made you stay closer to Hedwig than usual. She doesn’t seem to mind it. She holds your hand while talking to someone else, nuzzles up in class, always keeping close. But she looks at you in a way you can’t understand, as if she’s waiting for you to say something, impatient yet scared of what’s to come. 
And one day, when you’re walking to the bathroom, you hear her voice again. 
“Stop ignoring me”, Noelle says angrily. 
You turn around to look at her and gulp. Why do you feel so small? Why does she scare you?
“I’m not ignoring you”, you say exhaustedly. “I just don’t want to talk to you. We have nothing to discuss. Why do you keep on insisting?”
“Because I know that I’m a much better girlfriend than Hedwig could ever be. I want to be your girlfriend.”
“Okay? But I don’t want you-”
“You don’t seem happy with Hedwig anyway.”
You flinch. “That has nothing to do with you, so please just let it be. I want to be left alone. Things will be weird in the group if you continue with this.”
“I'm not the one making it weird, if you just accepted to talk with me then-”
“You don't want to talk about anything, though? You just want me to break up with Hedwig! I’m going back now. Move”
Suddenly everything feels too fast. Noelle grabs you and pushes you up against the wall. You yelp and try to push her off, but her cheerleading activities have built her muscles that overpower you. For a moment, you’re absolutely terrified. Before she has the chance to do anything, however, she's ripped off of you and thrown to the side. Shocked, you look to the side, seeing your girlfriend walk in front of you — which, if anything, makes you even more shocked. You have never been happier for Hedwig’s clingy behavior.
“No, get your fucking hands off of them!” she exclaims jarringly and gives Noelle a harsh push to make sure that she gets farther away from you. “Back off! Are you out of your mind?! Who do you think you are, touching my boyfriend/girlfriend? Absolutely insane! Have you no fucking manners?”
She takes up her phone in her shaking hands, about to call her father.
“I regret ever befriending you, oh my God”, she spits. “I will make sure you pay for this-”
“No, wait, Hedwig”, Noelle pleads, suddenly pathetically aware of what she’s done. “I'm sorry.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry, huh?” She looks up from her phone, shooting lightening at the other girl. “Not when you texted my girlfriend/boyfriend behind my back? Or when you demanded them to break up with me? But now that you’re caught you’re sorry?! You absolute scum.”
She had seen the messages? You lower your eyes, feeling that horrible shame creep back. 
“I don’t ever want to see you near them again”, Hedwig spits. “Trust me, I will let everyone know what you’ve tried to do. Believe me.”
“I won’t do it again”, Noelle says quickly. “Hedwig, please, come on-”
Hedwig grabs your hand tightly and pushes past her. 
“Move”, she demands darkly and drags you out into the sunlight. 
Hedwig doesn’t let you go until she has pulled you far away from all the other students, until you’re hiding by the canteen delivery entrance. Hedwig is shaking from head to toe, her hands trembling too much to navigate her phone. She sobs harshly, tapping the screen violently until she throws it against the ground with a scream. You flinch. 
“H-Hedwig …”, you say hesitantly. “I’m sorry.”
Hedwig’s eyes dart at you in disbelief, offended that you even thought that any of this oculd be your fault. 
“N-No, Y/N-”, she sobs, choking on her own tears. She grabs your hands before rambling. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m not mad at you, I promise.”
“How did you … know?”
Hedwig wipes her runny nose with the sleeve of her school uniform and hiccups through sobs. “W-When you were sleeping I went into your phone, because I thought that you were acting strange and—and I saw her messages. And when I saw that she went after you to the bathroom I had a feeling that she would—would do something. I’m going to make her pay. I’m going to ruin her life.”
“Isn’t that a bit extreme?”
Hedwig shakes her head firmly. She hugs you tightly, hiding her face into your shoulder. You’re unsure what to do, but eventually place your arms around her. 
“I w-want to go home”, she sobs. “I don’t feel well.”
And you do. 
Hedwig sits down on her bed, clutching her phone in her hand. You can’t catch her attention, even though you try to call out her name. 
“Hedwig, what are you doing?” you ask for the fifth time. 
Finally, she looks up from her phone. 
“I’m telling everyone in the groupchat”, she says. “I promised that everyone will know what Noelle did.”
With Hedwig’s contacts, soon the entire school will know, you think. 
“She made a mistake”, you say. “A very idiotic mistake, but is it really worth this?”
“She was a friend”, Hedwig spat. “She knows very well that you and I are dating and she decides to just … disregard that? No, she deserves it all.”
You can feel the air in the room get switched with something poisonous. You can’t breathe. 
“I think I should go home”, you say and get up from the armchair. 
Hedwig’s head flinches up towards you. 
“No!” she gasps. “Please don’t go!”
She lets go of the phone, sprints up from the bed and hugs you. 
“Please stay”, she begs weakly. “Please.”
“I can’t take more of this silence.”
“I-I’ll put on a movie! You can watch whatever you want, just please stay here. Don’t go.”
You’re soon cuddled up in bed with Hedwig having her arms around yours, still tapping away on her phone in silence. 
The very next day when you come to school, everything seem to have changed. People are looking at the two of you and you can tell, by the pitiful looks in their eyes, that they know what happened yesterday. Even though it wasn’t your fault, you feel like you’re in the wrong and that everyone else think so too. 
You meet up with Hedwig’s friend group who immediately tells her how they've always thought that there was something off with Noelle and how disgusting she is. Yesterday, they all loved her. And suddenly they have felt off about her for so long? You fight the urge to roll your eyes. 
You look at Hedwig in disbelief. Do you hear this?
Her eyes twitched. Oh yeah. 
Her grip on your hand tightens. 
While you’re talking, you see how Noelle enters the school yard. She has dark circles under her eyes and looks … small. You almost feel bad for her. The group gives her nasty looks. 
You don’t see the small ‘I-told-you-so’ smile on Hedwig’s face. She drinks it all in, sunbathes in her misery. But it’s not enough. She has humiliated her in front of the entire school and ruined her reputation … but it’s not enough. The sight of her makes Hedwig’s blood boil. She wants her gone, removed out of her sight. Wants her dead. 
She had promised herself not to do it again, but she can’t let Noelle come and go like this. What if she somehow manages to fix her life and reputation? What if she starts a new school and no one knows about what she’s done and starts to like her? She has to disappear. 
Hedwig looks at you and sighs. You are worth it.
“I have to go to the bathroom”, she whispers. “Can you come with me?”
You nod. While Hedwig goes into the bathroom, she takes up her phone and calls the number she has hidden away behind a contact name called ‘Abbe’s Bakery’. She holds the phone to her ear. But this contact is neither named Abbe or owns a bakery. 
“Hedwig, it was a long time ago”, a male voice says on the other side of the line. “Why do you suddenly need me again?”
“My relationship is threatened again”, she says in a hushed tone. “I need to get rid of the threat. You have to help me.”
“Sure, what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to burn her in.”
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That night when you’re sleeping soundly beside her, she crawls out of bed, making sure not to wake you. Oh, God, if she wakes you … she wouldn't forgive herself. You look absolutely gorgeous when sleeping. No soul in the world is allowed to disturb your peaceful slumber. Hedwig wants nothing more than to cuddle up beside you, hold you tightly in her arms and drift away to another dimension, but she has to make sure the girl pays for what she did.
“I'll be back soon”, Hedwig whispers, knowing full well that you can't hear her. “I will make sure nothing ever happens to you. You will never have to worry as long as I am here.”
She kisses your forehead as softly as she possibly can to not wake you up. She tucks you in and sneaks out of her room. Her heart swells with adoration for you. It only makes her more certain. She has to do this — for you. For your safety. And for her own sanity.
Hedwig wears a black hoodie, pulls the hood over her head and makes sure that none of her hair will be visible and quietly makes her way out of the mansion and runs past the gates. She doesn't take a car or scooter, scared that any security cameras in the city will catch her registration. She runs through the night, not wanting to miss the show. The only thing keeping her company is the sound of her own breathing and her shoes hitting the asphalt underneath her. 
She arrives just in time. Red, yellow and orange flames has started to lick at the house on the other side of the road and is quickly embracing it. The flames climb higher, reaching for the moon. Hedwig can hear screams from inside, hears glass being broken … and all she does is smile. She revels in the sight. 
You deserve it, Hedwig thinks. You should never have tried to take my partner from me. 
She decides to leave before neighbors and firefighters start to come running. It’s with a smile that Hedwig returns to her room and takes you in her arms. You whimper in your sleep and she’s quick to hush and stroke your hair. 
“Don’t wake up, it’s okay”, she whispers and kisses your cheek. “Everything is okay now, you’re safe. You’re okay.”
She smiles widely. Everything is okay now. 
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aperrywilliams · 2 days
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Douchebag Falls Short in This Case (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Part 1: If Anything I Find it Educative
Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: Spencer and Reader can’t have their scheduled lunch, but they keep talking by phone and texts. After Spencer returns from a case, they can see each other again. If Spencer hadn’t been mesmerized with Reader, now he is, and maybe is more than that.
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: Some strong words. Description of Road Rage Disorder. Talking about bad experiences at high school (nothing explicit). Emily is the best older sister to Spencer.
A/N: The prospect of them having a date was too tempting not to do it. This one is part 3 of “If Anything I Find It Educative” (Part 2 of “It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t”). Let me know your thoughts!!! I’m here to read you guys.
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Spencer's POV
-----
Me: Are you free on Saturday at midday? We could go to lunch. Let me know. Good night. S.R.
Heimlich Master: Yeah. Lunch sounds great. Let's talk about the details later. Good night :)
My face hurts from the big smile I sport right now. Smile that doesn't fade once I get to my apartment.
How did I manage to text her right away? I would never know, but I thank that moment of confidence.
Now I can't wait to see her again on Saturday.
---
I should have known making plans wouldn't work for me. It's Friday afternoon, and I'm on the jet about to take off for a case in Los Angeles.
There goes my lunch with (Y/N).
I grab my phone to type a text to let her know.
Between last night and today, we have been texting back and forth about what time on Saturday works for us and whether I had a place in mind. I did, but I told her it was a surprise.
Now I must cancel, and I can't stress enough my disappointment.
Me: Hey. I'm so sorry, but I'm leaving for a case in L.A. Can we reschedule our lunch? Please don't hate me.
Heimlich Master: Oh, it's okay. Don't worry; of course, we can reschedule.
Heimlich Master: Let me know when you come back. And don't be silly; I don't hate you.
Heimlich Master: Can I ask you for something, though?
Me: Sure. Anything.
Heimlich Master: Can you prevent Morgan from kick-down doors this time? The bureau budget would appreciate it.
I can't contain the snort that leaves my lips, gaining Emily's attention. Bad luck of mine; she is in a seat just in front of me.
Me: I'll do my best. Promise.
Heimlich Master: Thank you. Have a safe flight :)
Me: Thanks :)
Look at me! Even using emojis.
Penelope would be proud of me.
I set my phone on the table to exchange it for the book I chose for this flight. Emily's voice stops me before I can do that.
"So, are you going to tell me why you are so smiling?"
And here we go.
"Me?" I lift my eyes to Emily, who has a smirk on her face. I hate that she already knows what's happening, not even knowing what's happening.
"Sure, genius. I don't see anyone else here so amused and focused on his texts. Not to mention the grin that could illuminate the whole D.C."
"No, I'm not!" I defend—a poor attempt to keep the transparency of my face at bay. Emily scoffs, and that's all it takes to know she doesn't believe me.
"I understand you don't like to talk about your personal life. I get it. And I won't bug you as Morgan would, yet knowing it is related to your love life. But don't try to fool me. It's insulting," she says, the last part faking hurt. That makes me chuckle.
"That being said, I just want you to know I'm here if you need to talk. It's not always good to keep things to yourself."
Not waiting for my response, she picks up the folder with the current case details to read.
I have known Emily for a few years now, and even if we didn't start on the right foot - entirely my fault - she's proven very supportive. Gosh, once she endured a whole beating from an unsub only to keep me safe.
Beyond that, she knows how to talk to me without treating me like a kid. Sometimes, I can't say the same about the rest. Of course, I don't blame them; they've always seen me as the team's baby, but I appreciate Emily doesn't.
"That's the thing. This," I point my gaze where my phone is. "I don't know what it is," I sigh. Emily's eyes are back to me. She sees how confused I am.
"What do you think it is then?"
I don't want to betray (Y/N) 's trust by spilling details about her life, so the specifics of our talks are out of the table.
"I can't deny there is a connection between us. We only met twice—both by chance. But they led us to talk for hours. And I ask myself, am I reading this wrong, and she only sees me like a, I don't know, potential friend?"
"Why would she? She told you she was only looking for a friend?" Emily asks, her hands resting lightly over the folder on her lap.
"No, she didn't. It's a deduction of mine, though. I mean, she recently ended a relationship —a very serious one."
Just remembering the reason that led to that breakup makes me sick.
"Okay. That could be a thing, but not necessarily. Maybe things ended precisely because she wanted something different. That's not bad," Emily hypothesizes. I shake my head.
"I'm not so sure. Let's say she wouldn't have ended the relationship until something big happened. Big enough for her to realize the guy was a total -"I trail off. What would be the right word?
"A douchebag?" Emily offers.
"I think douchebag falls short in this case," I point out. Emily's eyes widen.
"That bad, uh?" I nod.
"She is vulnerable right now, and I don't want to take advantage of that. But at the same time, I want a chance with her. Am I a bad person?"
"What? No! Spencer, don't say that," Emily rushes to stop my spiral. "Far from that. You are considerate enough to see she's in a complicated situation. Most of the men don't even care about that. Cut her some slack, though. She is a grown-up woman, and if she wants to get to know you, why not let her? If she hasn't already, I bet she will see the great man you are. And not only as a friend."
My eyebrows furrow.
"Do you think so?"
"Sure. And for how you describe her, I don't think she is the type to play with people's feelings. Although, I strongly recommend being honest with her. That will prevent false expectations."
I take in Emily's words, and they make perfect sense.
"Thank you, Emily. I didn't think about it like that," I
muse. "Can you do me a favor, though?"
She nods, anticipating what I'm going to say.
"I know. Not a word to anyone. Got it," Emily confirms with a reassuring smile.
---
The heat in Los Angeles for the last three days has been overpowering. Just as catching this unsub has become extremely frustrating.
I'm in the meeting room they lent us to work in, reviewing the details of the case over and over again. The rest of the team is outside the precinct following our latest leads.
My head started to hurt, and I had to close my eyes for a moment.
As I focus on breathing, my phone pings. I open my eyes and see a text from (Y/N).
Heimlich Master: How are you? I read that L.A. has a heat wave; I hope it's not hitting you too hard.
I can't help the smile that pushes the corners of my lips upward.
Me: I'd like to say it's not affecting me, but I don't want to lie. I will survive, though. Please tell me how nice the weather is in D.C., and I'll aim to finish this case as soon as possible.
Heimlich Master: I thought our lunch was enough incentive for you to do that. Now I feel bad.
Oh, fuck. What did I do? Of course, it's an incentive for me. It is THE incentive, actually. I have been thinking about that since Friday when I came here. Now she's assuming I don't care.
How can you be such an idiot, Spencer?
I must fix this immediately, so I hit the call button—a confused (Y/N) answers on the other end.
"Spencer?"
"Hey. I - uh. I decided to call because I needed to explain myself. Please, don't feel bad. Of course, I want our lunch to happen. I wasn't saying it like if I don't. I mean, the heat is fucking insane here, but it's not-"
"Spencer, hey, don't-" she tries to make me stop. Still, I am so determined to say everything necessary to explain myself that I continue my rant.
"What I'm trying to say is-"
"Spencer, wait!" (Y/N)’s firmer voice halts me in my failed attempt at an apology. It's sufficient enough for me to shut up.
"Sorry. What were you about to say?"
"I'm sorry for stopping you, but it sounded like you would run out of air and pass out. Now I feel awful because the last thing I wrote was only to mess with you. I didn't want you to feel like I was accusing you of something, much less that you owed me an apology."
"Oh," I mumble, now making sense of the whole exchange. My cheeks heat up realizing I went from 0 to 100 in seconds. (Y/N)'s voice sounds anxious now.
"Please, forgive me if I worried you that way. That's why I hate texts; I can't control my teasing tone as I do when I talk to someone."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I don't want (Y/N) to think she did anything wrong, though.
"No, don't say that. I'm not good at - literally - reading social cues. I should have noticed. I just need some practice," I chuckle. I can hear a chuckle on the other end, too.
"Well, since we already cleared up our first miscommunication problem. How are you?"
That sentence shouldn't make my heart skip a beat, but it does.
Get your shit together, Spencer.
"With the heat and the lack of progress in the case, it is a bit frustrating. But we'll make it. How about you?"
"Good, actually. Not the load of paperwork I had last week, and my boss just asked me to prepare a lecture for the trainees in forensic accounting."
"Wow, that's amazing!" I chirp, excited.
"I'm a bit nervous, though. But I'll live," (Y/N) sighs.
"You'll do it great. I didn't know you were into teaching," I muse, remembering our prior conversations.
"I didn't, either. But I've had some previous experiences, and they have been okay. So, the case? That bad, uh?"
That brings me back to L.A. and the case. I was very comfy with my mind in (Y/N).
"He's taunting us. I mean, the police force. But we have a strong profile. One more piece, and we have him," I assure, trying to be convincing enough.
"You guys know what you're doing. You'll catch him, Spencer." (Y/N) sounds like she has no doubt. It fills my heart with warmth because although she doesn't have to put that amount of trust in me, she does it anyway.
"Reid?" I turn to see Morgan and J.J. walking into the room. She hears it, too.
"They need you. You have to return to work," (Y/N) concludes. I let out a sigh.
"Yeah. I have to go," I mumble apologeticly.
"Of course, you're working. It’s okay," she affirms with understanding.
"I'll let you know when I'm done here. Take care, okay?" I whisper into the receiver.
"I will. You too, be safe. Bye."
I can see Morgan's smirk and JJ’s curious look when I hang up.
I know they're dying to ask me questions, but now is not the time, and I don't want to either. So before any words come from their mouths, I hasten to speak.
"Did you find anything? I was examining what we have so far, and I think we are missing something. Look at this," I tell them, pointing to the scattered photos on the table. They look at each other and hesitate to interrupt me or play along. Thank goodness they opt for the latter.
---
Me: Did you know L.A. has an abandoned underground tunnel network? If they are put together, it will stretch out 17 kilometers. They exist due to the Prohibition. When alcohol was banned in L.A. in early 1920, 35,000 gallons of wine were poured into its sewers. But, far from eradicating booze, prohibition pushed its use underground, literally.
Heimlich Master: Wow. I didn't know that. But I'm afraid to ask why are you telling me this. Are you trapped in one of those tunnels, and this is a call for help? [see attached photo]
Me: Ha Ha Ha. Let's say I've been studying those tunnels all day. Good thing we have Morgan and Prentiss to do the dirty job, though.
It's my fifth night in Los Angeles, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The only things that have kept me at least in a decent mood are the texts and short calls I have shared with (Y/N). I've never been very fond of using technology, including my cell phone, but thanks to (Y/N), I haven't even questioned it.
We've been sharing fun facts and memes. If you had asked me a week ago what a meme was, I wouldn't have known what to answer. The word was familiar to me thanks to Garcia, who often mentions them, but now I can say that I know more about them than I would have expected to. (Y/N) is a regular, and I can understand more of her sense of humor because of that. She especially loves the ones with a philosopher dinosaur and those where a woman yells at a cat.
Heimlich Master: How is the case going?
I'm about to reply when hard knocks shake my hotel room door. I hear Morgan's voice on the other side. "Reid! There is a break in the case! Move your ass right now!" Before leaving the room, I texted (Y/N).
Me: Hoping to wrap it up tonight.
Two hours later, we have the unsub in custody, not before running into a frantic chase for L.A. streets. Now, completely wasted, we are packing our things to return home. Usually, when we wrap cases at this hour, we stay until the next morning and then take off. But everyone is so drained that Hotch called to the tarmac saying we’re flying back tonight.
Being already on the jet, I feel like writing to (Y/N), but it doesn't seem appropriate, considering it's 2 in the morning. I refrain and try to catch some sleep, knowing exactly what I want to do first when we touch down in Virginia.
---
It’s the first time I've put foot on the third floor of the Quantico Headquarters. It doesn’t look too different from the others I do know. A bunch of people walking in and out, agents perched at their desks, deep in folders or computers. Phones are ringing, and the sound of copy machines is unmistakable.
But none of that matters right now. I have a mission to accomplish.
After navigating between several desks, I find the one I’m looking for.
“Good morning, agent (Y/L/N).”
At the sound of my voice, (Y/N)’s head whips up.
“Hey! When did you come back?” she asks, seeming confused. The last time we spoke was last night before the unsub takedown, so for her, I still could be in LA.
I check my watch. “One hour and fifteen minutes ago.”
“I hope you slept on the jet.”
“I did. A bit.”
I won’t tell her how I barely closed my eyes, excited about returning to Virginia.
“So, to what do I owe the honor of having you here, Dr. Reid?”
“A crucial matter that can’t wait.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-hu. I have an announcement and a question for you.”
“Oh yeah? Okay, shoot.”
“Morgan didn't kick down any doors during this case.”
(Y/N) snort a laugh. What a beautiful view it is to see her laugh.
“It's what I needed to start my day with the right foot.”
“You're welcome.”
“Okay, that was the announcement. And the question?”
“Yeah, about that. What do you say if we switch our failed lunch last Saturday for having dinner tonight?”
(Y/N)’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Tonight? Are you sure? You just came back.”
She’s inspecting my face, looking for certainty. I nod solemnly.
“Yeah, tonight. Unless you already have plans. If that’s the case, it’s okay. We can do something another day.”
After pondering my offer for a second, a smile creeps in (Y/N)’s face.
“You’re a lucky guy. Did you know that?”
Is it too much to say I’m feeling a lucky guy since I met her?
“I’m realizing now. Pick you up at seven, then. Is that okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll text you my full address.”
After saying our goodbyes, I take the elevator back to BAU. As the doors open at the sixth, I go face-to-face with Garcia.
“Oh, there you are! Everyone was looking for you to start the debriefing. Where were you anyways?” Penelope says, worried about my whereabouts.
Shit. I forgot Hotch wanted to do that quickly so we could finally get over this case.
“Uh. I had to use the bathroom.” I try to sound normal to avoid making a big deal.
“On another floor?” She asks, visibly confused.
Sometimes, my IQ gets lost in my odd way of doing synapses.
What the fuck I was thinking when I said that?
“Did you know the men’s bathroom paper toilet in the seventh is better quality than here?”
Oh, Spencer Reid, please stop.
“Really? I always knew they had more privileges than us. But the paper toilet? It’s infuriating,” Garcia huffs. And I know doing this is not very kind of me, but I promise to explain to her. Not now, though.
“Uh. I’m going to the conference room now. The others are waiting,” I announce, and Garcia nods, ushering me there.
“Yes. Go, go!”
Aside from the looks of 'Where the hell were you?' no one commented on me being late. Once we debrief, Hotch officially closes the case, instructing us to finish the paperwork and head home at lunchtime, which is perfect for my plans. It gives me enough time to prepare for dinner with (Y/N).
I know I look like a teenager, but I don't care.
Around three in the afternoon, I am already in my apartment and have made a restaurant reservation.
I decided to take a quick nap, although I didn't know how much sleep I would get given my nerves. It's not that being with (Y/N) makes me anxious per se; It's the anticipation of being with her.
Maybe I'm expecting too much from this date.
Shit. 'This date' Is this actually a date?
I feel like it is, but for (Y/N), will it be the same?
I invited her to dinner but never told her it was a date. Derek would tell me it is, but I don't want to assume.
Now is when Emily's words ring in my ears: 'Be honest with her to avoid false expectations.'
With her words in mind and the tiredness from the last days catching up with me, slumber finds me after a while.
---
It’s seven pm sharp, and I’m knocking on (Y/N)’s door. I can hear some rustling from inside before the doors open, revealing her frame greeting me with a smile.
“Hey! Just in time!”
“H- hi,” I say, almost breathless after taking in her appearance.
It's true that the first time I saw (Y/N), she was dressed to the nines. It's also true that when I saw her on the terrace that night, I couldn't help but think how beautiful and captivating she was.
The next time was at Quantico. She wore a classic and elegant office outfit, with black formal trousers, a white silk blouse, and a fitted maroon jacket. The image of all the confidence and resolve I bet she has at the job.
But now? My jaw shamelessly drops.
She's wearing a sleek, form-fitting black dress that accentuates her curves and black heels that elongate her legs. A beautiful cardigan wraps elegantly in her upper half. Her hair is styled in loose waves cascading over her shoulders, and she's accessorized with long silver earrings and the same necklace with the compass I saw on her the first time. She looks sophisticated, alluring, and just perfect.
“Let me get my purse, and we can go, okay?” (Y/N) says, jutting her thumb to the inside.
“Su- yeah, sure.”
Great. I’m a stuttering mess.
The drive to the restaurant is filled with light conversation. I talked about the last heatwave in Los Angeles, and she annoyed me by telling me about the rain in Virginia last week.
Now I ask (Y/N) if she has a car. It happens that she owns a car but doesn't like to drive.
“I just discovered years ago I don't like it. But I kept the car only for emergencies, which is stupid if I think of it,” she prefaces.
“Why?” I ask, stealing a glance at her.
“Because now all emergencies I can think of entail myself incapable of driving.”
Her laugh fills the car now, and I can’t help but join her.
“Okay, okay. But really, why you don’t like it?” I ask when our laughing fades. (Y/N) clears her throat.
“Uh - are you familiar with the term road rage?”
I nod, not peeling my gaze from the streets ahead.
“Yes, I do. Colloquially known as ‘angry driver disorder,’ it is aggressive or angry behavior exhibited by motorists. These behaviors include rude and verbal insults, yelling, physical threats, or dangerous driving methods targeted at other drivers, pedestrians, or cyclists to intimidate or release frustration.”
A sigh escapes (Y/N)’s lips. “Yeah. That.”
Using the chance a red light gives me, I look at her with an eyebrow furrowed.
“So, do you have RRD?”
She averts my gaze, focusing on the windshield instead.
“I thought I had it. At first, I didn’t give it any importance. I said it was just me trying to adjust to the jungle. Who hasn’t yelled as driving? But there were times when I freaked out of myself and feared doing something more than screeching or honking like crazy. So, I stopped driving for a while. I did my research and learned techniques to get it under control. But since then, I never enjoyed it again.”
A nervous giggle escapes from (Y/N)’s lips.
“Jesus, you are going to think I’m a society threat.”
I shake my head without a second thought.
“Of course, you are not. Furthermore, I find it admirable that you realized it was unhealthy and took action before living a worse experience.”
I see a blush creeping (Y/N)’s cheeks from the corner of my eye.
Not five minutes later, we are at the restaurant parking lot.
Descending from the vehicle, I hurry to (Y/N)’s door and open it for her. Once she is out of the car, I offer my arm so she can lace hers with it.
The hostess greets us at the entrance, and once he checks our reservation, he leads us to our table.
It's the first time I’m here. I chose it because Rossi once said it was perfect for a date.
Again. A date. Something I still don't know if apply here.
A waitress approaches us as soon as we sit, handing us two menus.
“Miss, sir. I’m Emma, and I’ll be at your service this evening. Can I offer something to drink?”
After Emma leaves us with our orders, (Y/N) turns to me.
“Spencer, this place is amazing.”
And she is right. The soft lighting from the small lamps creates a warm atmosphere. The decor includes cozy tables spaced apart for privacy, with comfortable seating and plush cushions. Soft and muted deep reds and browns fill the interior, with classy artwork on the walls. It's really nice.
But above all, the company makes it even better.
Our conversation flows as easily as in the car. It's so comfortable as we have known each other for a long time. And we just met less than two weeks ago.
“Okay, let me get this straight. So you are from Vegas and couldn't bear the L.A. heatwave?”
“I have lived in DC for almost eight years, so I adapted better to this climate.” I shrug and (Y/N) hums.
“You don't get to go there that much? I mean, do you have family there?”
“Just my mom. And no, I don’t see her very often,” I confess—a tint of guilt in my voice.
I see (Y/N)’s face, and I know she wants to ask, but she is respectful enough not to. Not everyone is.
“I’m an only child. And my dad left us when after my tenth birthday. With no siblings, it is only my mom and me. But even if I don't see her often, I write her letter daily.”
I look at her again, expecting the same face everyone gives me when I talk about my family, the one that screams pity. But no, if (Y/N)’s face screams anything, it’s understanding.
“Old school, uh? I’m sure your mom loves your letters,” she says, sipping her glass of wine. I nod,
telling (Y/N) more about my letters to my mom and how detailed she likes me to write them.
“And I think it helped us not to break the bond.” I shrug, taking a bit from the fork. “What about you? Did you say you are not from DC?”
“No. I’m not. I’m from Minneapolis. My parents settled there at a very young age. They were born in the South. I have two siblings: an older sister and a younger brother. My parents are still in Minneapolis, and my brother is, but he lives with his boyfriend now. My sister left for Chicago when she married her fiancee years ago.”
“Do you see them often?”
(Y/N) shakes her head.
“Not quite. Just in holidays or major events. But we call each other often. I always know what happens there, and they know what happens to me here.”
(Y/N) tells me she is not that close with her sister, though. Since she started dating his current husband, they distanced. And that only worsened when (Y/N) moved to DC.
“I’m sorry. That must have hurt.” I don’t know what having a sibling is, but I see in her eyes that she is not okay with how things turned between them.
“Yeah. But neither of us has done something about it. And here is where I need to clarify that stubbornness runs in my family,” she chuckles.
I pull a face, faking surprise. “Yeah, that’s so you can realize who you're dealing with,” she says, pointing her fork at me.
Our conversation bounces from topic to topic until we land on the school phase.
I tell her about what it's like to be a child prodigy in a public school in Las Vegas. The bad things and the not-so-bad ones, because believe it or not, I can see something positive from that time at this point in my life.
“Clearly, I didn't have it as difficult as you, but I am sure we all felt out of place at some point during that time,” she muses, cutting a piece of her dessert with the spoon.
“Did you?”
She lets out a chuckle. “Let's say I haven't been very ‘typical’ in my life, especially in high school. I mean, if following a stereotype was required, mine was quite different from the other girls my age.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “How is so?”
“Well, while my friends dreamed about having a Mr. Darcy-Elizabeth kind of love, I found Heathcliff and Kathy's relationship more appealing,” she stops from her explanation with a snort escaping her lips. “Ha! I should have known it would be a problem later.”
Why do I think other people would know what she is talking about while I don't?
Of course, she sees the confusion written all over my face.
“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” I pull a face, shaking my head.
“At risk of being disrespectful, uh, no. I don't.”
“Don’t worry. You don't have to, I guess. But if you read Wuthering Heights someday, you will know.”
I will—first thing in the morning.
“But the main idea is that I never expected life would be something close to a fairy tale, you know? I just didn't believe it, and my friends hated that of me.”
Jerks.
It's fair to say that we are so caught up in chatting that we don’t realize we are the only ones left in the restaurant. We do when Emma approaches to ask if we need anything.
After paying the check, we left the restaurant and headed to my car. The ride is mainly silent this time. I don’t want this night to end, and I think (Y/N) doesn't either because of how she bites her lower lip with her eyes trained on the road ahead.
We begin a light conversation for a few minutes after arriving at her building. With the car in parking, I reach her side of the vehicle to open the door for her. I offer her my hand, and she takes it, giving me a warm smile.
“I'll walk you to the door.” She nods softly, “Okay.”
The three floors to her apartment are pure agony in my head. I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to scare her into thinking I'm a creep or whatever. If she notices my internal dilemma, she doesn't mention it. We reach her door, and (Y/N) takes her keys from her purse. I don't trust my hands and keep them in my pockets as she opens the door. She turns to face me now.
“Thank you, Spencer. I had a great time tonight.”
I see it in her eyes. She is genuine. And my heart skips a bit.
“Me too. Thanks for accepting my invitation.”
My hands feel clammy, so I take them out of my pocket and dry them discreetly on my clothes.
“Of course.”
We remain silent without taking our eyes off each other. Emily's words reverberate, and I know what I must do.
Okay. Here we go.
“Can I - can I ask you something?”
I wish I could speak without stumbling over my words.
“Sure.”
“Would you say that tonight, that is, our dinner - would you say it was a date? I mean, would you classify this as a date?”
(Y/N)’s eyes are trained on me as if trying to follow my train of thought.
“A date? Why wouldn’t I?”
She is still careful but curious about where I’m going with all of this.
“It's just that I never said it was a date when I talked about dinner.”
“So, you didn’t want it as a date?” (Y/N) asks for clarification, and I feel like the stupidest human being on earth.
“No! I did. I do. It's just - I thought you maybe thought of it like something different?”
She narrows her eyes at me. This is not working. I take a deep breath before starting over.
“The thing is, I don’t know if I’m reading this wrong. From the times we have seen each other and what we have talked about in these two weeks, I feel that there is something that feels so good between us, and I wonder if maybe you don't feel it or if you see it as something similar to a friendship. I know things in that part of your life have been messy lately, and I would understand if you wouldn't want anything to do with me, but I can't stop thinking-“
My rant is halted when I notice (Y/N)’s palm caressing my cheek. There is a glimmer in her eyes that makes my heart stop.
“Spencer. You are not reading this wrong. I feel the same way you described it as ‘right,’ even if I’m unsure what it is exactly.”
I let out a dramatic sigh I didn't know I was holding. That makes (Y/N) giggle. I join her with a chuckle myself.
As the giggle subsides, I hold her hand and place it over my chest near my heart. My other hand softly tilts her chin so I can look into her eyes.
“You are amazing; did you know that?” I whisper, and her breath hitched. I flick my gaze between her eyes and her lips. She does the same. And that's what I needed to get the courage and lean in. Slowly, the distance between us gets short, and I swear my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I can feel her breath fanning my face as her eyes flutter close.
And then, our lips met for the first time.
It's slow, and I can taste the sweetness of her lips.
I've never felt something like this kissing someone before, but now that I know what it's like, I never want to stop feeling it.
Her hands go up my shoulders, seeking a grip on the hair at the back of my neck. My hands fly to her hips to pull her closer to me as our kiss deepens. I sweep my tongue over her lower lip, and she parts them to grant me access. One of my hands leaves her hip to cup her face to get a better angle for continuing our kiss. Her arms tighten around my neck, pulling me impossibly closer.
I don’t want it to end, but the need for air is too much. After breaking the kiss, we are both panting with our faces flushed and lips swollen.
“Wow.”
“Jesus.”
We breathe out at the same time, followed by a fit of giggles.
Her laugh is definitely my new favorite sound on Earth.
I cup her cheeks and lean again to steal a quick kiss from her lips, and when I’m about to part again, she tightens her grip on my suit jacket lapels and brings me to her lips again.
After two or three more kisses, we lose the hold of our hands off each other, with a wide grin spread on our faces.
“I think we already give my neighbors enough of a show for tonight,” (Y/N) points out, biting her lower lip and peeking at both sides of the hall behind me.
“Yeah,” I mumble as I stroke her cheek, gaze focused on her eyes. “I should get going.” (Y/N) nods. “Text me when you are home?”
“I will.”
After another quick kiss, I muster the will to say goodbye. Wishing me goodnight, (Y/N) enters the apartment and closes the door. I linger there for a few seconds, excited like a child after the best day of his life.
I feel like it is.
Right now? I'm beyond grateful to Hotch for making me attend that stupid gala.
------------------
Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers
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meiideryz · 3 days
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map to my heart.
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pairing: wong hendery x reader
length: 0.97k
tags: alternative universe, university/college au, friends to lovers, indirect confession, mutual attraction, tooth-rotting fluff, best friend! hendery, assistant librarian!reader, based on true experience.
note: i was inspired by a conversation i had with my ex-crush when i was with them in the library where our lesson on a subject took place
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"how well do you know your geography?" hendery's voice was gentle and low, keeping himself quiet in the back of the library with students who cannot be disrupted.
he watched you looking at the library globe before your eyes met with his. after finishing an activity that his professor had given him, he was able to freely look around, and there he saw you at the back with the globe you were spinning at a slow place. it was a fortunate meeting, knowing how well you often visit the library since you were an assistant in helping the librarian after all.
“do you know your geography?”
this time, you returned the same question to him, and of course he knew. he just wanted to test how good you were, and with a smile on his face, he responded. “of course, would you like a challenge?”
“i'm down,” hendery loved how there was no hesitation in your tone, and he especially loved your competitiveness when it comes to interests you both have in common. “only because i can totally win over you.”
“oh? really?” his hand made its way to touch the globe, preparing himself for a little game of spotting the country. “give me a name, then.”
“laos.” you said, and he smiled at you.
“easy,” he began spinning the globe in front of him, looking for the location you had asked him to find. “if you know countries from asean very well, then there's no difficulty in searching for it.”
pausing the sphere, hendery's forefinger pointed to the land just above thailand before he gave you a victorious grin. “see? now try looking for sri lanka for me.”
he heard you let out a huff, watching you already turning the spherical ball, and when you showed him that you had already spotted it, he gave a fake sound of a terrible whine which almost made you laugh. covering your mouth with your palm, your other hand made its way to his arm with a light smack. both of you suppressed a laugh, knowing how much they could get in trouble if they ever disturbed the library, with him being thrown out and you enduring another scolding session from the librarian.
“you really should stop making weird noises if you don't want to be thrown out from here.” giggling in a whisper, he couldn't help but fall in love with the way you beamed at him.
hendery was so, so in love with you.
he moved to stand beside you with his head leaning closer to your ear, saying, “shoot me a name, sweetie.” 
you hummed, pretending to think for a little long time. gazing over your hand ghostly touching his knuckles, the little butterflies flew around inside his stomach. the fingertips of your hands running over his then the surface of the globe before he heard you utter out, “cyprus.” 
nodding to your next challenge, he made his way to look thoroughly around the ball. a chuckle left his lips, feeling as if he was starting to sweat despite the cold breeze of the air-conditioned room. “maybe i’m reconsidering your knowledge on geography, after all.” your voice softly echoed in his ears. he wasn’t going to give up so easily for some country he wasn’t familiar with. 
continuing to search, he whispered to you, “from what i remember, it’s close to romania, am i right?” 
“close.”
hendery droned out a steady continuous sound, staring at the map of europe in front of him. if it was close to what he stated earlier, and the name sounds close to some greek mythology name. “then i'm guessing it would be near greece, so…”
forefinger gliding through the map, he eventually found cyprus below turkey. another victorious win, he smiled at you. “there.”
“you’re not as bad as i thought.” your compliment had earned him another good slap in the heart, and it would always make him do somersaults every time you do. with the way you look at him like that, with that contagious smile and laughter, he could never stop feeling things for you.
“okay, my turn.” you said, “give me a name.”
“show me…” hendery trailed off, his body moving backwards to face your back. watching you turn around, you let out a small gasp as you were taken aback when he caged you in between his arms. “hendery, what are you doing?”
“show me where the map to my heart is.” his voice was serious, and yet there was still a glint of delight in his tone. the smile never wiped off from his face while he stared into your eyes. sure, it was abrupt and unexpected, but he wasn't being playful in a way that would annoy you, and his seriousness was giving a turn.
“i…” now you were the one who was tongue-tied, and him being the patient person he was, he waited for you to respond. it was simple, if you reject him at this time and moment, he would respect that and back off this instant.
“you don't know? might as well win this challenge then—”
“i think i know where it is.” you quickly uttered out, breaking your silence. he was curious to know what was on your mind, and so he crossed his arms against his chest, lips curling up to put up a smug look.
“really? i'm curious to see if you actually know it.”
“well, if i can remember, it starts from here…”
he observed the way your finger reached out to point your own chest where your heart is at rest before making out a line until your palm was against his chest to his beating heart. hendery sucked up a good amount of air at the contact, his gaze still never left yours.
“...to here.”
©MEIIDERYZ 2024. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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spaceoutdreamer · 1 year
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Last time I drank, I started telling my coworker to get therapy
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bearfeathers · 7 months
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don't get too attached to them bud lol
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Shit That I Wrote As A Kid That Was Objectively Horrifying And Should Not Have Been Written By A Child #1:
A story where every four generations on the same land sixteen girls are murdered brutally in close succession due to a girl named Felicity being cursed two thousand years ago. Felicity Burrows is reborn every four generations and made to live out the same fate, watching her friends die around her, inevitably failing to warn the next generation, and being slaughtered. Her best friend Megan looks on in horror, knowing what's happening but powerless to stop it.
I was ten.
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swordwife · 1 year
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still thinking about forbnite victor.
look at this. look at what he can do.
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trainwreckweather · 2 years
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.
#I'm about to talk shit about fam stuff so like is this going to give me bad luck maybe#i try so HARD to be a good person I deserve a little fam gossip/shit talk as a treat ajsjdjdjfjfj okok#i will keep all names out any my older sister is a weirdo narcissist racist (she thinks she's black)#and she scammed my old ass dementia-y gram outta well over 15k and owes everything she knows money#even though she posts all about her scams online and used to sell fake covid cards and flaunts stacks of cash and her posh life in Miami#and she has an open federal case against her#and she feeds all her little sometimes MINOR sisters hard drugs and alcohol#i am saying all of this to make what I am about to say seems way less shitty bc I don't usually make fun of people doing things they enjoy#but uh anyway! she goes to the 'stu'to record songs for her 'rap' career and#and#LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO WAIT LMFAO YOU COULD NOT PAY ME ENOUGH#YOU COULD NOT PAY ME E-FUCKING-NOUGH TO POST ANY OF HER SONGS#SHE THINKS THEY'RE GOOD TOO#EVEN WITH THE HELP OF THE AUTO WHATEVER THE FUCK OH NO OH GOD NO#SHE PUTS THAT SHIT ON HER STORY TOO LIKE OH MY GOD PLS I GET SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT SO HARD#i want so badly to like... share a clip to prove I'm noy being dramatic but I won't go that far#please just believe me when I say it sounds like a kids bop rapper was given a mic unsupervised and told they could swear#and maybe say some slurs#as a treat#ok that's all I needed to do it#I'll once again return to my godly non-judgment human activities ajsjdjfnfjdjd
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g0reoz · 2 years
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love it when i'm like "oh yeah, things are getting better!!" and then i realize they aren't, i've just been in my room a lot more
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months
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why is reassurance about omnipresent omnipotent Love needed like. it's love(tm) has there not Been that assurance & affirmation all over the place all thee time. "but all the hate in the world...see what it does..." does that even mean "hate" or does that mean "people feeling entitled to a superior status ft. its intrinsically promised superior power" like re: the limitations of "hate crimes" meaning there's a need to "prove" "hate" in the "intent." where do we see Love as this guaranteed antithesis to a systemically granted entitlement to power to constrain someone's life. parents loving their children, And Yet. partners loving their partners And Yet. friends loving friends never stopped there from being disasters in how people are treated in that sphere. versus: people giving the most essential support to people they have no personal connection to, no direct connection to, no basis for having particular feelings about them one way or another beyond knowing they're also people in a vulnerable situation. people flourishing by themself. people learning how to relate to themself positively In Spite Of the Love they've experienced. how actions, interactions, relations are guided by principles that are not contingent on the affective, re: Feelings, but on externally evident contexts and patterns and consequences. what of it if you're Hated by someone whose ability to manifest that or not has no control over you still living your life b/c nobody's entitled to someone feeling a certain way towards them but someone feeling a certain way towards someone doesn't entitle them to enforcing a status of Less on them in any way either. why's something Internal have to be considered universal. why's anything have to be considered universal, as though if there's anything that doesn't apply to absolutely anyone then those outside that might be Less in some "legitimate" way. there's that: you're a person and they're a person, and who are you to consider yourself More of a person than them, and who are they to consider themself More of a person than you. "this too is Love" what if it isn't
is any idea of Love challenged by potentially Not subsuming more precise, nuanced, granular, complex, perhaps incongruous concepts into one vague assertion. what of recognition. acknowledgment. respect, care, intimacy, collaboration, accompaniment, without fundamentally necessitating particular emotions, status, even particulars of relationships. "relationships" in the sense of how does xyz affect abc & vice versa: relationality. "if you want or enjoy anything: love" how about everyone's experience of their interiority is their own. why is it important for you to believe a particular commonality must be at play. "if you don't believe in eternal torment of your damned soul what's stopping you from killing everyone rn" = "if you don't believe in Doing Bad Things Feels Bad what's stopping you from Doing Bad Things rn" = "if you're guided by the Good Feeling Love you'll be Doing Good Things" like, will you. when people instead attach any concept of Love to more fundamental concepts of respect for everyone else as equals to oneself and what actions and principles support others then it's like i mean yeah sure same diff in this case. when it's about how something that originates as a personal interior experience is a claim over any/everyone else's? whyme (rhymes with "rhyme"). versus anything that may be considered Universal being something that also does not necessarily stem from or is not contained within any particular self. universe is universal? everything affecting the existence of everything else? doesn't start or stop in any particular person's experience as themself, the way their thoughts and feelings can. i can't think of any of the like Concepts Ideals Principles Beliefs etc i would have that i'd describe as "love." and what of it. works fine for anyone who does so long as that Love is not something that must be Universally Human(tm) or where any willingness to consider some idea synonymous / overlapping / relevant does not just so happen to require "so you still really mean Love :)" like as though a christian universalist was still gonna have to always be telling people how jesus is everywhere & all good things are jesus, vice versa. like if you think everyone will be reconciled with christian god in the end then why do you need to push it. if everything is Love & Love is behind anything that helps anyone then what is there to convince oneself or anyone else of. what is there even to talk about. versus if i were to find/replace "love" with "politics" in that sentence & then in any instance there would be plenty to talk about lmao b/c it would have to do with any specifics about the situation & any events/actions/external matters that could be relevant. the actual Reality of your Real Feelings start & end with you even as they also play into how your existence affects others' existence. gotta believe everyone else is feeling Love? okay, that would still be their own business lol. & what if they weren't. say love is everywhere & that's the answer: well no it isn't b/c we can discern what goes on in the everywherelove world. so anyways: what could we do regardless? feeling more love is self-contained i.e. your personal business. what of any/everyone else. die cry hate. love loses. recognition regardless of the emotions happening. being loveless. being despised. those who go "so anyways"
#is someone or something only of value if sufficiently loved by someone#rephrased does someone's equal value guarantee some kind of deemed equal manifestation of love compared to someone else#why? who's going to assess lovingness / belovedness there? what ''should'' be guaranteed to anyone?#supposing we all imagine a Best Person. are they e.g. Guaranteed maximum friends? are they Guaranteed any friends? (my answer: no)#not ''is it possible'' not ''is it like'' Are They Guaranteed This#do we assume we can or must Prove anyone else is not less than us. do we add anything at all onto the assumption they aren't less#such as ''i don't think anyone's Less a person than myself (why not stop here) b/c i think anyone Has Love''#why not stop there. you tell me i Won't go to hell for killing everyone? i'm not gonna do it#you tell me i won't feel bad for doing so? i'm still not gonna do it#you tell me i'm the Realest Person in a simulation of non persons? i'm not gonna change how i interact w/anyone at all why tf would i#''maybe nobody sees the same colors as you. maybe nobody feels the same feelings as you'' Okay What Difference Does It Make#doesn't change if some memo was dropped like yes Only You truly think & feel. everything else is simulations w/no interiority. Ok; &? So?#dehumanizing Assertions go for the supposed Less interiority like shove that interiorly as well. less pain less Love less capacity for xyz#oh you experience Externalized expression of these people Not being Less? can't prove they're not Faking huh? what if we say they are#Doesn't Matter. veering into ''no; they must Feel the Most'' to counter it like doesn't matter!! what's Happening. what's Being Done#who is being constrained; harmed; made more vulnerable. who has fewer Real autonomous choices to make#e.g. no ''you can choose x. or choose y with threatened increased risk / harm''#if someone's All About Feeling Love well okay possibly great but Lovelessness is good for you like queerness is good for cishet ppl#similar too the way to have a ''difference'' that contextualizes queerness there has to be the constraint of cisheteropatriarchy#like how ppl rankle at being called cis / cishet b/c they're ''just Normal'' like we aren't supposed to be able to name & address things#a related element is that Love(tm) tends to be very flattening. very [is there really even anything else to discuss/consider??]#yeah. isn't there always? why not in this case.#like also everything else this is dynamic. honing thoughts & ideas always; including by writing things out#you know what's everywhere & in all of us including our positive moods / feelings...fluctuating energies in fields#talk to me about That excitement (charges & feelings Positive Or Negative lol...) let's talk about Imbalance handshake Balance#consider having: love handshake loveless then. again do Not subsume! step one!! not ''ok so its all just love'' cut it out for once!!!#rotate it. put it in the centrifuge. the gravitational center. nucleus. radiation. if you're aware of it smthing affected it affected you#up next brawling with the ''math is inhuman dehumanizing math is antiqueer'' w/e tf else. die cry hate Humanities(tm) (sentiment) Loses#ps was thinking lately of the way ppl's Emotional motivations manifest then connect / have an effect. still all about the loveless agenda
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flowersandbigteeth · 3 months
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Would you ever consider doing an Orc royalty arranged marriage? The Orcs have taken over a Human kingdom, because of their low birthrate (and because humans are universal breeders). The Orcs start scanning the Humans in their newly conquered territory for the most genetically compatible mates, which the royalty obviously gets the first pick of because the royal line is seen as the most important. Reader happens to be the most compatible with a member of the nobility, or maybe even the royal family, and so is married off to Orc King/warlord or the Warlord’s son/the crown prince/heir.
Yes! This one was so fun to write ^_^. I had an idea for a reader with a speech disability in my drafts, and this seemed like the perfect scenario to use it. It's a little long and very fluffy. Now that I've done this one, I kind of want to do one about Vola's romance, as well. (how they met, etc.)
Orc King (Golmad) x f reader with speech disability
Word Count: 8k
TW: there is a lot of orc fluff followed by nsfw orc smut, p in v sex, some light violence, bullying by family member, arranged marriage, size difference
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“Straighten your back (Y/N),” your mother snapped as she adjusted the obnoxious pink bow on your head. “You must look perfect for the King.” 
She wrinkled her nose at you. 
“Considering your…deformity…You need to look as pretty as possible, so he won't toss you aside.” 
“Oh, shut it, Mauria!” Your father chuckled, taking a thirsty sip of his wine. “A silent wife is a blessing! He’s gonna be thrilled!”  
She gave him a withering look before turning back to you and fussing with a lock of hair. Tears burned at the back of your eyes, but as usual, you said nothing. 
“Don't make that face, darling, smile!” 
You pasted a fake smile on your lips, wishing you could be anywhere else. She licked her thumb and rubbed some stray blush off your cheek before she took a step back, looking you over. 
“Wonderful! Like a little doll!” 
“Oh look, the future Queen,” your perfect big sister Starla sneered as she wandered to the pile of olives at your father's side, popping one in her mouth. “You sure you don't want to fuck one of the stableboys before that Orc splits you in two? I’d hate for you to die before you have your first orgasm!” 
She and your father cackled in laughter, but your mother frowned. Not because she insulted you, but because your mother was the pinnacle of decorum. 
“Don't talk like that, Starla. It makes you sound cheap. You're going to be Queen soon. You need to learn grace and discretion.” 
She snorted, grabbing your father's goblet of wine and taking a big gulp.
“When I'm Queen, Rotham will defeat all these miserable monsters and put their heads on pikes! Too bad (Y/N) won't live to see it after that awful creature snaps her like a twig!” 
Your smile fell, and you looked away. As the oldest daughter, Starla should have been the offering to the King of the Orcs. But Starla was beautiful and brilliant and talented and popular and…blah blah blah. Your parents couldn’t waste her on the insurgent Orc king. The nobles all thought they’d make a comeback, stage a coup, and everything would go back as it should be. Starla would marry the human prince, Rotham, still in hiding, and become the real Queen. 
You were the spare, a sacrifice to placate the enemy. Suffering a sickness as a child, your vocal cords were fused. You couldn't speak or make any noise other than whimpers and mewls. The snobby nobles your parents spent time with had labeled you damaged. When they bothered to speak to you, they acted as though you were dim, as well, which you were not. That was the only thing you surpassed Starla at, you were a very fast reader and quite good with math. 
When the Orcs overthrew the former King, they said they were looking for fertile human wives. Humans bore children at twice the rate of the Orcs, so they’d taken the kingdom to secure their hold on the region with big, robust families. 
 You were all required to submit a blood sample to determine if you were compatible, and then you'd be assigned to an Orc husband. Your mother didn't dare submit Starla’s blood. She had to remain untouched for the human prince. So she sent yours and one of the maids. Yours was a match…to the King. 
You all turned as an Orc dressed in fine livery appeared at the door. 
“The King will see you now,” he said, then turned and left. 
“Look how they dress themselves,” Starla whispered. “As if they're civilized! What a joke! He didn't even stay to escort us! Savages.” 
Your parents chittered while you sucked in a deep breath. Your mother shoved you through the door, eager to get to the negotiations, her favorite part of any encounter. 
“Back straight! Chin up! You are representing our family.” 
You stumbled forward, following the direction the Orc butler had gone. You'd been in the castle before, attending court with your parents, but as you stepped into the large hall, you saw it had all changed. 
The old tapestries had been torn down, replaced with large pelts of animals you'd never even seen before, their heads preserved and their eyes replaced with glass balls. The old wooden furniture was now twisted iron, probably made by the mountain dwarves, allies of the Orcs. They’d provided most of the weapons that led them to victory. The new flag, green with a bear and an axe pictured in silhouette, was hanging behind his throne. 
Orcs lined the gallery, laughing and chattering, but they all fell silent as you entered. You took a thick breath, forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other and ignore their curious eyes. 
You heard Starla snort behind you as if this was all hilarious. Her disdain made you lift your chin. You would not go to the King as her joke. 
Your first glimpse of your future husband from across the long hall made your eyes widen. Even from far away, he was massive. He must have been nine or ten feet tall and wide as an Ox. 
On his broad shoulders, he wore a thick fur stole over a neat indigo shirt lined with the same cream fur. His thick legs were tucked in matching navy pants and imposing black boots. His outfit was surprisingly human. Behind him, massive shining weapons were arranged on a stand, just within arm's reach. 
When you arrived at the end of the carpet leading you to him, you curtsied as you'd been taught. 
You couldn't greet him verbally, so you waited for your mother to present you. 
“Your majesty!” She crooned. “Please let me present my lovely daughter (Y/N), your perfect blood match!” 
You tried not to tremble in front of him, but this close, he was so very large! His gold eyes passed over you, cool as cold metal. You’d never seen an Orc close-up before, and everyone had told you they were ugly, but the King in front of you was…not. No, he didn't look human, but his jaw was thick and sharp, and his eyes were a beautiful, rich color, like the setting sun. 
Thick black hair fell over one shoulder, shaved to the skin on one side. A full bottom lip wrapped around large tusks that were more exciting than unappealing. His skin was flawless, olive green that reminded you of a mossy forest. Everything about his countenance screamed royalty, though he didn't wear a crown like a human King, his head tipped up, unafraid and confident. Instead, a chunky gold chain link necklace hung around his neck, with a large diamond set at the center, identifying him as the regent.
Your breath became labored as the reality that he would soon be your husband set in. You had no idea how you could be compatible. He was almost twice your height!  
The King nodded for your mother to go on. 
“Unfortunately, my dear daughter suffered a sickness in her youth that stole her voice, but she's otherwise healthy, untouched, and fertile. Fit for a crea- King.”
The casual discussion of your sexual history in front of a hundred-odd strangers made you blush and dip the chin you'd been trying so hard to keep up.  Before you could stop it, a tear slipped down your cheek, and you hurriedly wiped it away, probably smearing blush across your cheek. Behind you, your sister snickered. 
You peered back up at the King, wondering if he was disappointed. His eyes darted to her, and his frown deepened before they returned to you. Your heart sank, assuming he was comparing you to your stunning sister. Instead, he did the last thing you expected. He signed to you. 
“Is your family always this tiresome?”
You released an audible gasp, one of the few sounds you could make, but signed back. Learning to read sign language was something your parents and sister never bothered to do. You’d learned from the kind chaplain at the church, one of the few places your mother allowed you to go alone. He thought you ought to have a way to communicate that didn’t involve scribbling notes on paper—your parents and pretty much everyone else preferred to communicate at you, not with you. 
“I'm sorry if they displease you, Your Majesty.” 
A wide smile spread on his lips as he signed back. 
“You are incredibly polite for the daughter of such fools.”
You giggled, and your parent’s wide eyes danced between you. 
“You don't have to see them again if you'd rather not.”
At that, your breath caught in your throat, and you chose your next thought carefully. 
“Please don't kill them, Your Majesty.”
That drew a deep chuckle from his throat. It was rich and smooth, like chocolate. 
“Since you asked so politely….but if you change your mind, just let me know.”
You gave him a tight nod, unsure if he was joking or not. 
Your mother, not appreciating being out of the loop, cleared her throat. 
“Since the two of you seem to be getting along so…familiarly…there's only the matter of the reward you promised. Of course, considering the status of the match, (Y/N) being the Queen and all…we expect a significant...investment.”
The Orcs promised to compensate every family for whichever daughter they took. It was the only way they could get the citizenry not to revolt at every turn. Making each daughter valuable in gold appealed to their sensibilities, especially after the draining war. A thick eyebrow shot up on the King’s face, and your mother continued with her pitch. 
“You wouldn't want the family of the Queen living in squalor. Not because we are greedy, of course. Never that. We are incredibly humble. But we lost a great deal of our fortune during the war. What would the citizens think? You don't want them assuming you scraped some farm girl from the manure pile. We are a noble family and must exude a certain level of status, don't you agree? Especially considering her condition.” 
Your eyes widened that your mother would be so bold, but his eyes shifted to her and narrowed. He rolled a finger in her direction, signaling her to go on.   
“What exactly do you mean about her condition?” 
Seeing an opening, your mother gave him a genteel smile. 
“Well, we understand that (Y/N) will never take an active role in your rule- Her value lies in the heirs she can produce.” 
“And isn't that a blessing?” Your father piped in. “A pretty little quiet wife is preferable, no? Worth twice a chatty wench!” 
Your mother shot him a look, and swatted him. 
“I'm just saying…” he muttered before she went on. 
“What I mean is…people will assume things about her. Due to our status, the nobles all know she’s…not all there. I don't know how it is for Orcs, but the court here is…discerning.” 
She turned to Starla. 
“If my other daughter had been at all match, we would have sent her since she's a far superior candidate for Queen. Pity it didn't work out that way. In any case, I'm only thinking of your image.”
He glanced at you, signing. 
“Are you sure about keeping them alive? I’m growing tired of this nattering, aren’t you?”
You giggled again, your mother shooting you a look full of vinegar.  
“Killing them is probably not a good plan. My mother is made of tough stuff…I'm sure she’ll return as a noisy wraith and torment you about your posture,” you signed back.  
He let out a roll of laughter, crooking his finger at you. Blushing, your eyebrows rose, but you took slow steps towards him. When you were within grabbing reach, he snapped you up and settled you on his lap. He was very warm compared to the lofty, cool hall and smelled like ginger and leather. You couldn’t help but stroke the shiny black hair that fell on your side of his shoulder. You didn’t mean to be so curious, but you’d never seen an Orc up close, and he was quite the specimen. His skin was smooth and velvety to the touch. Without thinking, you poked one of his tusks with your finger. He flashed you a smile, amused at your interest, before he returned to your mother. 
“Since you are all so thoughtfully concerned with my image, it would be best to make you at home here, in the castle. You can get a taste of Orc society. You won't need any gold here. All your needs will be provided for.” 
Your mouth fell open, trying to read his thoughts, but he only smirked at you. 
“How…kind, your majesty,” your mother said, ever the diplomat. 
Starla was not happy and stomped her foot. 
“Mother! You can’t be serious! I can't be seen with these savages! Rotham will think I've been touched by beasts!” 
Your hand clapped over your mouth, never thinking clever Starla would say something so brash. 
The King’s face turned severe. His easy smile had tricked you into thinking he was a gentle giant, but his business face was terrifying. You were thankful it wasn't directed at you. 
“Rotham? Our enemy's son, leading a band of traitorous supporters? Are you saying you are harboring a fugitive and dare to show your face in my court?” 
Starla backpedaled as quickly as she could. 
“Of course not, Your Majesty, it's…it’s…another Rotham…a man from the village…a…butcher.” 
He relaxed. Which was odd to you because you knew he didn't believe her lie. 
“Good. He should be pleased he has a chance with the Queen’s sister. You can invite him to dinner if you like.” 
Starla’s face blanched, but she nodded obediently. He waved at one of the Orcs standing to the side. 
“Show them to their quarters. We will convene for a meal to welcome our new Queen shortly.” 
 When they were gone, the King turned his attention back to you.
“Would you like the chef to prepare something special for your first dinner in the castle?” 
You had no idea what to say. No one had ever asked your preference or opinion on anything. 
“We should eat what is traditional. You are welcoming me into your family, Your Majesty. I’d like to know more about your customs.”
Though he seemed satisfied with your answer, he waved a dismissive hand at you. 
“Don't call me Your Majesty. We're meant to be married. My name is Golmad.” 
He fingerspelled the letters, then showed you the sign he used for it– the gestures for gold and bear, together. You returned the sign you used for your own name. 
“May I ask a question, Golmad?” 
“Anything. I don't want you to fear me, (Y/N).”  
You organized your thoughts for a moment before you formulated your question. 
“Why do you know sign language? I can hear; you could speak if it is easier.” 
He looked you over, his expression warm. 
“I learned for you. I wanted to speak to you in your language. I knew you were for me long before you took the test– over a year ago. The test is for your human sensibilities. Your people don't rely on instinct. Demanding the test makes it something they can understand. I know by scent your sister is compatible, as well. But I don't desire her.”
Your eyebrows popped up at that admission, and your heart thumped in your chest. You never expected such care from a battle-hardened Orc king. 
“But how? I've never seen you before!” 
He smirked. 
“We Orcs are stealthier than you humans know. It's in our nature to hunt our match.” 
You frowned, a vicious thought pricking your mind. 
“Did you pick me because I'm silent?” 
His eyes narrowed, but the expression they held was not cruel. 
“You are not silent. You speak differently, but you are not a doll without thoughts. Your mother is wrong. You are the best candidate to be Queen. If I had chosen your sister, do you think she would have appeared before me as you did?” 
He patted your chest, not to fondle you, but over your heart. 
“You are a survivor, brave, and virtuous. I trust you at my side.” 
You gasped, feeling more seen than ever before, but also the weight of the responsibilities on your shoulders.
“Now, we must prepare you for Orc society.”
He tugged the big bow on your head, tossing it on the floor when he'd pulled it loose. 
“An Orc Queen will not be dressed like a puppy.”
A smile spread across his lips, and he stood, so large he could carry you with very little effort. As you passed the Orcs lining the hall, they bowed to the two of you, giving you the first taste of what it meant to be Queen. 
The bedroom he brought you to was very different from a human King’s bedroom. It had more plants than furniture, large leafy vegetation planted in a generous selection of iron pots. His bed reminded you of a nest, a wide pallet layered with thick furs in colors ranging from white to rust red to pitch black. There wasn't a spot you could stand in the room where a weapon was not in reach. Axes and swords were mounted on the walls, and iron stands on the floor. Daggers of varying sizes seemed splayed haphazardly on every horizontal surface. 
Golmad set you down and began stripping off the clothes he wore. Your cheeks burned as he revealed thick muscle after thick muscle, but you were also a bit frightened. Was he going to take you now? His eyes met yours, which had to be as large as saucers. 
“I only wore this to speak with your parents. There is wisdom in accommodating humans occasionally. They see us as monsters. Dressing like them makes them more comfortable, but now that you are mine, they will need to grow accustomed to our culture.” 
You nodded, forcing your mouth closed, and he stopped undressing when he got to his pants. The bulky planes of his chest were plenty of eye candy. You weren't sure if you were ready for the rest. 
He let out a loud call, and two Orc women appeared at the door, holding folded stacks of fur and leather.
“These are my sisters Vola and Cayenne. Don't mind their doting. Orc families are very affectionate.”
They gave you a polite bow. 
“Greetings, Your Majesty,” they signed together after they’d deposited the fabrics on a table. When Golmad stepped out of the way, they circled you with big smiles, patting your hair and pinching your cheeks as if you were a new kitten. 
“She’s so cute!” 
“I didn't believe she would be so tiny, but look at her. Precious!” 
Cayenne spun you around, examining your form. You weren’t exactly tiny in human terms, but compared to them, you were short stack. 
“We must choose something daring!” 
Vola nodded.
“Like a little wildcat!” 
You signed to Golmad, a little surprised at their sweetness. They even learned sign language for you! 
“The nobleman said the Orc women resent us and that they'll rip us to bits for stealing their men.” 
He chuckled. 
“That's nothing but propaganda. They want babies just as much as the males. A stout, fertile, submissive human husband is ideal for caring for their pups. Your people are obsessed with the purity of their women. We never had to organize a silly test for the males. The Orcesses just bop their mate on the head and drag him home.” 
He gave you a conspiratorial grin, his gold eyes glittering. 
I have a surprise for you at dinner. I think you’ll find it quite funny. 
You blinked, absorbing that fact, but decided to tuck it away for now and focus on what was happening in front of you. 
“It was kind of your sisters to learn sign language.” 
He looked slightly bashful at that comment, his green cheeks burning a bit darker. 
“Everyone is required to learn. Your staff will speak to you in your own language, not at you. Though I initially ordered it to accommodate you, we've since found tremendous value in practicing the skill.“
You didn't have time to think much more about it as the Orcesses started stripping your heavy dress off. Your cheeks burned as Golmad’s eyes roved over your bare skin, an appreciative glint in them. 
Vola wrapped a soft, asymmetrical skirt of spotted fur around your waist, and Cayenne pulled a leather crop top over your breasts. Then she secured a thick belt on top of your hips. She turned and started picking up and putting down daggers. Once she’d decided on the right one, she sheathed it in its stop at your side. 
“This one is perfect for you,” she explained—”light and sharp. You don't need might to wield a blade. Only speed and endurance.” 
She patted it. 
“We’ll help you train. Every Orc does morning training together before breakfast. We are a communal people. Training is another way to reinforce community. We hash out our disagreements on the training mat, and by the time we sit for our meal we are all on the same page. Our strength is not just our size. We win wars because our bonds are unbreakable.”
You nodded, feeling very special to be trusted with their secrets. 
They finished the outfit with fur-lined boots and a diamond necklace matching Golmad’s. Cayenne produced a makeup stick, drawing a long line across your nose from one cheek to the other and vertical lines from the center of your eyes down to your chin. 
“This is traditional for the Queen. We don’t wear crowns like your people. These markings identify your position at special events. When you are officially married, there will be tattoos and you won’t need the makeup anymore.” 
You blinked at her, wondering what your mother would say to that. An Orc appeared in the doorway, not dressed in human clothes. Instead, he wore leather pants, and was shirtless with an axe strapped to his back. 
He spoke as he signed, showing his respect for you. 
“Dinner is ready, Your Majesty.” 
You swallowed deeply as you were about to meet your future subjects, wearing less clothing than you’d ever worn in public before. Your arms and stomach were bare, as well as one leg where the skirt split. Golmad scooped you up and plopped you on his shoulder as he carried you to the dinner hall. You could hear the raucous laughter of Orcs celebrating, but when you walked through the door, all were silent and bowed in unison. 
It was difficult to find them amid the massive Orcs, but you finally spotted your family seated at the long table at the right of the King and Queen’s seats. Starla was dressed to impress in a low-cut gown emphasizing her assets, though she looked disgusted at the Orcs around her. When your mother caught sight of you, her mouth opened, and she covered it in horror as if they’d done something terrible to you. 
Golmad waved a hand, and the Orcs all took their seats at the table. As he got comfortable, arranging you on his lap, his sister Vola sat down with a familiar man on her lap. 
“Rotham?!” your sister screeched. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” 
You felt Golmad’s body shudder underneath you as he chuckled. Vola shot a glare at Starla, petting Rotham’s head. His cheeks darkened just a bit, but he snuggled against her ample breasts. 
“Don’t speak so familiarly with my mate,” Vola spat. 
Starla’s eyes looked like they might pop out of her head. 
“Rotham, how could you? We were supposed to be married! I was supposed to be Queen! How can you lay with that…monster?! What about your people? YOUR COUNTRY?” 
The table had grown silent as everyone watched the drama play out. 
“Vola is my mate,” Rotham said, looking down his nose at her. “I love her! Why would I want to sit on a throne waiting for someone pretending to be my friend to stab me in the back and fuck my wife when I can stay cozy and safe tending Vola’s hearth?” 
He shook his head as if he were knocking something unpleasant out of it. 
“Why do I have to be King, anyway?! Just because I'm a man? You know what, Starla? You've never once asked what I wanted! Do you realize that? You don't care about what I want, only that I fulfill what fantasy you have about conquering the Orcs and obtaining a sparkly trinket. You'd be happy to stand on the sidelines like a swooning maiden, spending money you haven't earned on meaningless crap, while I risk my life and limbs for a battle I don't even care about!”
Starla looked incensed, shocked, and confused by his position. 
“But she's a monster, Rotham. The enemy!”
His brow drew and jabbed a finger at her. 
“Don’t you dare call my mate a monster; she is no enemy! It’s cruel and disrespectful. Vola loves me for me! She likes my cooking! She kisses me when I get hurt! She listens to my fears and helps me accomplish my goals! My goals! Not a bunch of spoiled noble's goals. 
I'm warning you, don't provoke her. I don’t love you, but I don’t want to see you harmed, either.” 
His smile met Vola’s before his eyes dipped to her body, looking quite pleased with his wife. 
Starla stood up, knocking over her chair as her sense dissolved with her dream of becoming Queen. The real Starla came out, the snotty girl who used to throw tantrums when she didn’t get a toy she wanted at the Goddesses’ Supper.
“Kissing your boo-boos like a sniveling child? Chasing frivolous goals? What the fuck are you talking about? You are royalty! You have a responsibility to the country! To me! What could possibly be more appealing than being the King?” 
Rotham huffed. 
“I want to be a baker! That's all I ever wanted to do, and because I was born my father's child, I never even had the option to try. My parents planned out my life, then advisors, then generals, and even you. I could never do what I wanted. I was scolded if I ever went near the kitchen, even to bake in my spare time! It was hell!” 
Starla snorted. 
“A baker?! That's work for common folk! It's beneath you! You’re throwing away the crown to bake cookies?! That’s pathetic! Stop this nonsense right now!” 
Vola growled. 
“Do not speak to my mate that way. Rotham deserves to be as free as any of us. He's an excellent baker. You're just sour he's not putting himself in harm's way to elevate your status!” 
Starla's eyes narrowed on Vola.
“How dare you think, you, a filthy beast, are worthy of a Prince?! MY PRINCE?! You’re nothing but an ugly ogre!” 
You felt the tension rise as every Orc leaned in, watching what would happen next. Vola gave her a cool smile. 
“Do you mean to challenge me for my mate, little girl?” 
“He’s not your mate! He’s mine! MINE!” 
Golmad held up a hand. 
“The human has declared an official challenge for Vola’s mate. Take her to the ring.” 
Starla screamed as an Orc picked her up and awkwardly carried her out of the room. Everyone else at the table followed, including your parents, whispering between each other.
The battle ring was a simple dirt circle with thick ropes marking its outline. By the time you and Golmad arrived, Starla had been placed in the center, and someone had armed her with a thin rapier, probably the only weapon in the arsenal against the wall she could lift. 
You could see the terror on her face when Vola set Rotham down next to you and entered the ring, cracking her knuckles. 
“Wait! Wait! This is madness!” Starla screamed, realizing there was no chance she would win this fight. 
Golmad waved her screams away. 
“In our tradition, a mate challenge is binding. You should not have spoken so carelessly if you did not want to fight. You must follow through. Prepare yourself! Begin!” 
Your heart raced, wondering if you should do something to save your sister. Golmad caught your worried expression and signed to you with a small smile. 
“She won’t kill her. Death’s not necessary to teach her a lesson.” 
You let out a breath of relief, leaning into Golmad’s warm body. The two competitors circled one another…rather, Vola circled Starla, and Starla looked for an exit. The Orcs packed tightly around the ring, and there was no gap to escape. When she realized there was no way out, she raised her weapon with two hands as best as possible. 
“Stay back, beast! I’ll cut you!” 
Vola laughed, darting forward so fast she was only a green blur. You heard a crack, and Starla smacked the dirt, blood spraying across her pretty dress. Mercifully, Vola didn’t knock her out. Starla’s whining voice drifted up from the ground. 
“My nose! She broke my fucking nose!” 
Vola snatched her weapon up and pointed the blade at her throat. 
“Do you concede?” 
Starla’s eyes got big. She focused on the tip of the rapier and nodded. 
To make her point, Vola adjusted her grip and stabbed the sword into the ground next to Starla’s head. A clump of her hair fluttered to the ground beside her. 
Leaning in so close to her that their noses almost touched, Vola pinned her with an icy glare. 
“The next time you raise your voice to my mate, I will not miss, little girl.” 
Golmad lifted a hand, ending the fight. 
“Vola has defended her claim! To dinner!” 
The Orcs cheered, but Rotham cheered the loudest. When she returned to him, he squeezed her biceps, looking up at her with stars in his eyes. 
“You're so strong! You were fast, too, like a beautiful bolt of lightning!”
“Rotham, please…” Starla whimpered from the dirt, hoping to get sympathy from him. 
He only frowned and turned away. Vola scooped him up, swinging him around while she kissed him. 
“I'll always protect you and your honor, my darling,” she said. “To my dying breath.” 
They and the other Orcs piled out of the room, leaving your parents to help Starla with her bloody nose. As Golmad carried you out, you heard them speaking to her as your mother helped her to her feet. 
“Don’t be difficult, Starla. We need to return to the table. Buck up.” 
“Are you insane? My nose is broken, and I’m covered in blood! I’m not going back there!” 
For once, you heard your father sound stern. 
“You got yourself into this foolishness, Starla. If Rotham is not leading a rebellion, we must find favor with our new King. We cannot be absent from (Y/N)’s dinner. It would be disrespectful, and we don't have the money to live up to the standards we're used to without her grace! Living here is our best option. I’m not going to be tossed on the street to defend your ego.” 
When Golmad set you on his lap at the head of the table, Starla sulkily took her place beside your mother, a napkin on her nose to slow the bleeding. When she did look up from her plate, it was to glare across the table at Vola and Rotham, caught up in their own banter between lovers. 
Golmad cleared his throat to call everyone to attention, and the noise quickly quieted. 
He signed as he spoke, so everyone could understand. 
“We come together for this meal to welcome my lovely Queen (Y/N) to our fold!” 
He glanced down at your parents, his face a bit smug. 
“Family and community are a core value of our kind. I also welcome (Y/N)’s parents and sister to our castle. Please do your best to help them grow accustomed to our traditions.
This night marks a step forward in the blending of human and Orc society, and as I have found my match, I wish you all your own mates so that, from the wounds of war, another generation of both our peoples can flourish! Let’s enjoy the bounty of this land together!” 
That was the end of the speech, as Orcs carried out massive dishes of roasted meat, vegetables, and golden-crusted pies and arranged them on the table. 
Happy Orcs were loud and raucous, apparently enjoying giving toasts. Everyone guzzled ale as they tipped their glasses to speeches of triumphs in war, hunting their new mates, and lots of well wishes to your future children. 
Numerous Orcs lined up to kiss your hand and declare their devotion to your protection. Meanwhile, your parents focused their energy on courting Golmad’s favor, complimenting the food, the music, and whatever else they could think of that might endear them to him. Your mother even gave you a tight compliment on your skirt. 
While you tried to focus on greeting your subjects, your mind wandered to the warm body underneath you. Golmad’s firm, barrel chest brushed your arm with every deep breath. The bulging muscles of his thigh were like sitting on a stone chair covered in bulky leather, but those features aside, your absolute favorite part of his physique was his husky stomach. It was firm and toned from daily training but thick from eating well. Leaning into it was quite comfortable and cozy. 
Everything about him was so big, including the enormous shaft, you could feel at your back. Maybe it was the wine, but your initial fear of it had slowly changed to curious interest as the night progressed. What would it be like? How would it feel inside of you? What would it taste like? The lewd thoughts were incredibly distracting. You found yourself wiggling your bottom to brush it without thinking. Every time you did, you felt a low rumble in his chest no one else could hear above the merrymaking. 
“Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked when there was finally a break in the production, and you could speak. 
You nodded and gave him a wan smile. 
“Your court is delightful. It's just…
When you paused his focus on you became intense. 
What's wrong? You can tell me, I won't be offended.”
You looked over the celebration, considering how your day played out compared to what you expected. 
“A lot has happened today…between the meeting and the fight…I'm a little tired, to be honest. I want to keep up with your people…but…” 
His gold eyes gleamed with predatory interest, making heat swell in your core. 
“I have a remedy for that. Orc celebrations take a bit of time to get used to. They'll all be up till dawn.” 
He stood before you could ask anything more, willing the Orcs to quiet down. 
“My Queen and I will retire for the evening! Enjoy the food and drink. Show our guests how Orcs celebrate!” 
A happy cry rang out, and the party started again as Golmad carried you out of the room. Your heartbeat thumped in your chest, realizing this was the first time the two of you would be alone for any length of time. He was so large he could do anything to you, and that thought had become far more exciting than frightening.  
When you arrived at his bedroom, he gently set you down on a table and turned his attention to starting a fire in the fireplace to warm the cool room. 
You swung your legs over the edge of the tall table, watching the muscles in his back flex as he loaded the hearth with logs. When he turned, he pulled off his boots and tucked them in a corner.  Finally, he approached you, his footsteps silent for someone so large. His eyes moved over your body as if deciding what part to engage first. 
“Do you think a back rub would help you relax? It’s been an eventful day.” 
You nodded, your heart skipping at the thought of his big hands on you. He tugged your boots off and set them next to his before settling the two of you on his bed, with you on his lap. 
You let out a long moan as his thick fingers pressed gently into the tense knots in your shoulder. His breath fanned across the nape of your neck, causing a pleasurable shiver to snake up your spine. Since his hands were busy, he spoked to you, his head dipping close to your ear. 
“I didn’t have a moment to tell you how beautiful you looked, today. In your human clothes, but especially so in ours.” 
You hummed a thank you, a sizzling tingle vibrating in your ear. As his thumbs slid down the curve of your waist, you realized he could circle both hands around your middle. His thumbs worked the knots away, but his other fingers smoothed over your bare skin. 
He seemed to get distracted by your arms, shifting his attention to one. He measured the diameter of your wrist with his thumb and forefinger. 
“You are delicate. I feel fortunate to have someone so sweet to protect and love.” 
At the word love, your cheeks burned, and you let out a quick mewl. You heard him chuckle behind you. He spun you around to face him, putting his hand lightly around your neck. Your breath came short, and your eyes widened at him, not sure what he was doing. 
“You are a precious blessing. I’ll never hurt you, (Y/N). If something hurts, pinch me, and I’ll know to stop, okay?” 
You nodded, relaxing just slightly. With his other hand, he tipped your head to the side, and the fingers around your neck massaged the muscles that had gotten tight from gritting your teeth. Your eyelashes fluttered as all of the tension slipped away. When you opened them again, Golmad’s eyes met yours, flickering as if they were lit from within and drawing you forward. 
He loosened his grip on your neck, and you pushed yourself up on your knees, pressing your small hands into his chest as you leaned up to him. 
For a moment, he looked surprised, but his eyes tracked yours as you looked over his features, pulled to his nicely shaped lips. He seemed to have no intention to push you to be intimate with him, but he was to be your husband. You were curious about him. You sucked in a quick breath before you tipped your head forward and brushed your lips against his. That’s what a wife was supposed to do, no? 
He let out a deep, rumbling grumble you felt between your legs. His big hand swept you up by the small of your back, while the other cradled your face. The next time your lips came together was a hungry, needy kiss. Your hand wrapped around his tusk, sliding over the smooth surface as you explored with your lips. 
You’d never kissed before, so you weren’t entirely sure what to do beyond the first taste. Pulling back you looked at him through the veil of your lashes, cheeks burning and lips swollen. 
“Was that good?” You asked. 
His eyebrows rose slightly, and he gave you a gentle nod. 
“Is this your first time kissing?” 
You looked away, embarrassed at your inexperience, but a thick finger pushed your chin back in his direction. 
“I didn’t mean it as an insult. I assumed the “untouched” bit of your mother’s introduction was a production. I mean…look at you. You’re gorgeous.”
You frowned, and he looked contrite. 
“I didn’t mean…to question your purity…I only meant-”
He huffed, and you were surprised to see a confident Orc King flustered by you. When his gaze met yours, it was open and vulnerable. 
“You’re so much smaller than me. I don’t want to scare you.” 
You searched his face for a moment. 
“You don’t scare me. I want to please you. Will you show me how?” 
His cheeks darkened to a rich forest, and his mouth fell open. You watched his pupils widen, and he nodded, eyes drifting over your body. You pushed yourself up on your knees, kissing him again, hoping to encourage whatever might come next. He groaned, thick hands wrapping around your waist. 
Feeling bolder, you let your hands move over his bare shoulders and gently trace every plane of his chest. He shuddered when your fingers slipped over a nipple, so you tried it again, earning you another rich groan. His tongue slipped past your lips, tasting you for the first time, and he hummed into your mouth.  
Beneath you, the shaft you’d already thought felt large suddenly got much firmer and larger. Curious, you gingerly let your fingers slip down his chest, palming him through his pants. A deep rumble vibrated his chest, and you mewled as he suddenly flipped you under him. You looked up at his massive body looming over you, panting. 
His eyes ate up your skin, glowing with appreciation. A fingertip traced your collarbone down the V of the little crop top you wore. It took only a flick of his fingers to rip it in half. You gasped, chest heaving. He met your gaze, searching for any indication you didn’t want him to go on. 
“Are you okay?” 
You nodded quickly, your nipples pebbling now exposed to the air. He smirked, dipping his head to press a kiss into the top of one breast and then the other before he moved lower. Pleasure you weren’t used to was intoxicating as he licked and sucked your nipples. Your breaths were heaving, and your thoughts scrambled. 
Though thick, his fingers were nimble, unbuckling the belt at your waist and stripping the skirt off you. 
Instinctively, you looked away, never having been so exposed in your life. A grunt brought your eyes back to him, and Galmod squeezed your cheek before he spoke. 
“It’s my job to please you. May I?”
Your nod was far more enthusiastic than you intended, and he grinned. A thumb teased a nipple, while his thick tongue traced your slit. A breathy mewl slipped out, and he glanced up without pulling away. His gaze was intent. Every hunting instinct he possessed focused on making sure you were enjoying what he had to give you. His tongue dipped inside of you the first time anything or anyone had touched you there. Your back arched, and your eyelashes fluttered. Your hand instinctively clutched his hair, your hips bucking into his mouth as wetness flooded your channel. 
He chuckled, the added sensation making you whimper. Though your flavor was appealing, Golmad had a second reason for filling you with his tongue. He also stretched you, preparing you to take something much larger. When you were eagerly rocking your hips to create more friction, he slipped out of you, turning his attention to your clit. Your irises crossed, your first real orgasm exploding between your legs and shooting through every nerve in your body. You were practically drooling as he slipped two fingers inside, bringing you right back where you started, needy and wanting. 
He stopped for a moment, cupping your chin to get your attention. 
“Do you want more?” 
Your fingers were shaking as you responded. 
“Yes…please?” 
He chuckled, leaning down and kissing you deeply before he rocked back on his knees. 
“It will hurt for just a second, then it will feel good…but if you want me to stop, just pinch me. I’ll stop.” 
You nodded quickly, wiggling your hips to entice him. You wanted whatever he planned on next. His gaze was ravenous, and you could tell staying in control of his instincts was work, but you trusted him, which made no sense since you'd only met. Something about him made you feel safe and protected, maybe the way he seemed so worried about hurting you. 
Your eyes popped as he slipped out of his pants. A thick cock bobbed in front of him. You’d never seen something so viscerally sexy, his bulky green body hovering over you, a thick hand fisting a massive shaft. A zip of sheer excitement made you quake. You felt a little mad. His cock had to be too big for you, but you wanted more than anything to take it. A fresh wave of slick leaked from inside of your spasming cunt. 
Your legs looked tiny in his hands as he spread them. He rubbed the large, round head of his cock against your slit, watching you whimper and beg for him with your eyes. 
Entering you maddeningly slow, you felt your pussy stretch to accommodate him. It felt good, the strain feeling more decadent than painful. There was no way you could fit his entire length inside, but he didn't seem concerned, gripping the base for more control. His fingers circled your clit, and you hardly felt a slight pinch through a veil of pleasure. Your eyes rolled back in your head as he filled you completely. 
When your gazes met, you could see the concentration on his face, his brow drawn, and his jaw locked. You nodded to him, asking him to go on, telling him that you wanted it. 
Pulling back, his hips snapped forward pushing a high-pitched mewl past your lips. He watched you, looking for any pain, but whatever he saw just egged him on. The concerned expression melted to a smug smirk, and he picked up the pace, heavy thrusts jerking your body against the soft furs. 
His long fingers wrapped around your neck, holding you in place while his strokes grew more intense. 
“That’s it, you can take it,” he groaned, his husky voice tickling your ears. 
You were amazed at your own body, your slippery fluids coating his shaft and allowing him to grind in and out of you despite his size. Though you could feel the strength in his hands, he only applied light pressure to your throat, making your heart skip. He could crush you easily, yet despite the rapture in his eyes, he held you like a baby dove.  
The tension in your thighs relaxed, your legs opening for him far wider than you even knew they could to accommodate his big body. 
The room filled with the sound of your sweet mewls and his guttural grunts. 
“So good,” he drawled, words slurring. “You were made for me.” 
You wanted to sign, “you, as well,” but your brain was mush. 
His cock battered you in just the right spot, while his free hand never left your clit, pinching and circling it until your eyes crossed and you were drooling. You soared, high on his musky scent, your body sparkling in ways you’d never felt before. Pleasure licked the tips of your nerves, zipping up and down your spine like lightning bolts. The only thing you could do was hold on tight to the hand circling your throat, your nails digging into the sinewy flesh. 
Your mother had made it seem like sex was a chore a wife did to please her husband and keep him from messing around. You had no idea it could be like this. Golmmad’s gold eyse lit as your wet cunt spasmed around him. A wet rush of bliss washed over you like the tide tugging you under. Your scream pierced the heady air as you reached your peak, spongey walls sucking him deeper. 
It was one thing to cum underneath him, but the look on his face as your body clamped around him, wet slick coating his cock, was sheer euphoria. His mouth fell open, eyes fluttering shut as he roared his finale. Making a large, powerful Orc king fall apart made you feel powerful and desirable in a way you’d never been allowed to feel before. It was a high that couldn’t be matched. You wanted to do this again and again until neither of you could walk or think. 
You felt his shaft grow impossibly harder, twitching inside you as he emptied himself into you in searing ropes. The ragged, stiff thrusts to seek his pleasure pulled another lingering orgasm from your pussy. You felt tears slipping down your cheeks as he slammed his hips into yours one last time. 
For a moment, the two of you just panted together, his head dipping down just an inch or so above yours. You felt a thick thumb trace your cheek, wiping your tears away. 
“I-I didn’t hurt you?” he whispered, and you forced your eyes open so he wouldn’t panic. 
A small smile and a slight jerk of your head told him no, you were just fine. He peeled himself off of you, sinking down into his bed and pulling you onto his lap. His fingers played lazily in your hair as he caught his breath. 
“What do you think?” he asked, his tone raw and vulnerable. 
You propped your head on one fist, elbows resting on his chest, while you wound a lock of dark hair around a finger, thinking of how to answer him. You felt his breath halt, waiting eagerly for your answer. Finally, you pulled your legs under you, sitting cross-legged on top of him so you could use your hands. 
“Can we do that again in the morning?” 
His eyebrows jumped before his lips stretched into a broad smile, responding with his free hands. 
“Of course, as many times as you like.”
You grinned and yawned, plastering your body on top of his. His warmth sunk into your bones, and sleep came easily. The last thing you felt before you dozed off was his hand stroking your hair as he muttered thanks to the goddess for bringing you to him. 
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nexusnyx · 1 year
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miss sunshine
pre-outbreak Joel Miller x neighbor!reader [7.3k] summary: He's always been out of reach. A fantasy. Joel was too much of everything—too handsome, too friendly, too una-fucking-vailable for any of you. Too bad his kid adores you. (What a blessing.) Too bad she uses you as a scapegoat and lands him right on his door. One bottle of wine, and Joel shows you he might be closer than you thought. 📝 I wanted to try something different. Less hurt, less end-of-the-world bullshit. Let me know your thoughts. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated. ⚠️Smut. Minors, DNI. Explicit depictions of sex, oral (f and m receiving), riding, missionary, passionate neighbors sex, yay.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤTexas, Summer of 2002.
When the bell rings, you think it's best to ignore it.
Living alone equals a lot of privileges, but the ability to go out alone and answer the door on a random Wednesday evening was not one of them. You're wearing compromising clothes and a robe, the bottle of wine you craved was finally open, and the last thing you wanted was to be murdered before enjoying it.
Then, you hear it. Your name, followed by, "It's Miller. Joel."
Fuck.
Well—this is exactly how many of your dreams started. Although this wouldn't go like them, for him, you'd open the door.
His eyes do little to hide the once-over when the door slides open.
They go down, then back up, and he seems to catch on to the fact that you saw it. Then, he shakes his head just a little, and says, "Is Sarah here?"
Well, well, well. You lean against the door. "Did she say she was?"
Joel pierces you with his Dad Look. "Yes." Obviously, it goes without saying.
What other reason would he have, right? Clearing your throat, you feel the anxiety bubbling underneath the surface. "Uhm. She isn't," you look apologetic as you say it. As if it's your fault his prepubescent daughter uses you as a scapegoat.
His sigh is enough to make you feel how tired he is. Overworked. Exhausted.
You try to understand what might've happened before he loses his mind, "What time d'you usually come back from work? Maybe she's at a friend's. She probably thought you'd be back later than this."
He finishes rubbing both palms all over his face, and he threads one hand through his hair. "I'm usually back at nine—well, I'm supposed to be back at nine. I'm usually home by ten." That checks out, then. "But—that doesn't explain why she lied to me."
"Any special occasions coming up soon?"
Joel frowns. "Uhm. My birthday's in a few days, but—"
"Ahhhh." It shuts his mouth, the way you exclaim it so clearly. "She's brainstorming, Joel."
"Brainstorming...?"
"A gift." No daughter had easy access to what made their fathers happy. You take pity on him. "C'mon—let me scare the little one."
You walk inside without waiting for his reply, knowing Joel will make his way in. "What d'you mean, scare her?"
The noise of his boots hitting the floor makes you happy.
You take the phone out of the wall and look at him. "She always keeps that cellular phone with her when she goes out?"
"Always," he nods.
"Perfect." You know it by heart already. As you dial, you feel Joel's eyes on your house. It's the first he's ever been inside, and it makes you hyperaware of every movement of his. "It's ringing," you inform him with a grin forming.
He looks confused. More tired than anything else, but it'll make sense in a second.
"Hey, miss Sunshine!" the nickname she gave you always brings a smile to your face.
Time to put on a show. Feigning panic in your voice, you yell-whisper on the phone, "S, love, would you mind telling me why on Earth is your pops—" you fake cover your end of the line to yell, "one minute!" then you're back at whispering again, "why is he parked outside my house right now? Is there something I should know?"
"Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit—"
You're glad he can't hear her end of it. "No time for panic. Explain."
"I am so sorry, Sunny! I thought he'd be back in like, two hours or something. Oh, god, can you please cover for me? I wrote a note saying I was at your place. Sleeping there. I was gonna call you before he came back home but Jenny and I—"
"You're at somebody named Jenny?" you repeat the information, looking at Joel with a question in your eyes, and when he nods, your heart soothes at knowing she's safe. "And you didn't think to mention your brilliant idea earlier?" going for the full effect again, you yell out, "One minute, Joel!"
At least she's fast in her rambles. "Yeah, yeah. My best friend. She's trying to help me come up with a surprise for him. I'm not there often and it's never on his birthday. I wanna make it special."
"Okay. Cool. Next time, fill me in as you make the plans."
"I will, I promise. Pinky promise. You think you can convince him I'm sleeping there?" the plea in her voice is adorable.
You chuckle. "I've got you, S." Joel sighs in relief in front of you. "Just one thing."
"Yeah?"
"Be back here tomorrow first thing in the morning. 7:30 sharp. I'm gonna invite your dad for breakfast, as punishment for your lack of planning, and you'll be the one making us the pancakes," before she can even answer, you go, "Toodles!" and hang up.
When you put your phone back at the base, you turn around with a proud smile.
Joel's looking at you funny. "You're good at that," he says.
"At what? Acting?" you laugh when nods. "I was a trouble child. I'm great at lying."
"Aren't those the same?"
"Eh. A thin line separates them." You can sense his awkwardness creeping up, so you do your best to think on the spot. "Is she one to escape?"
"Not really, no." He's shuffling on his feet, uncertain of what to do in your home. "She's never done this before."
"From what she told me, she's never around for your birthday."
"That's true."
"She wants to make a surprise for you," you inform. It puts that smile on his face that makes your knees a little weak. "And now she has to be back here at seven in the morning. All is well."
He laughs. "Yeah, I guess so."
He's gonna see himself out. You swallow all the nervousness that being in his presence creates and just... goes for it. "Is it hard? Having a kid?"
That relaxes some of the tension in his shoulders. He leans on the counter of your kitchen and shakes his head. "Not really. It's a lot of work, but it's not hard. It's rewarding."
I wish my mother felt the same. You smile at the truth in his words. "I can see it's hard work." He laughs again. "Well—I had just opened that before you rang the bell," you point at the Pinot on top of the counter. "Want a glass? Unless you tell me you're 'only beer' kind of guy, then I can't help ya."
Joel looks between you and the bottle a couple of times, then looks down at himself. "I'm uh—I'm all greasy and gross from work. You sure that's the company you want for wine?"
Rolling your eyes, you walk towards your glasses cabinets. "If I told you that you can go home and shower, you'd never come back."
"And that'd be a bad thing?"
"Sure it would. You're the only person in this entire street that hasn't interrogated me on my life so far, I feel left out. Offended, even," you add with a dramatic twist. Your robe flows around you, and you can't help but smile when you see his eyes following you.
It's the way he swallows visibly, almost audibly, that plants a seed of maybe inside your head. "I'm not usually one to pry."
You place both glasses on the counter. "Neither am I."
"I know. It's why I like ya," Joel says it with eyes on the glasses instead of you. "That and the way you talk to the plants."
Your hand on the corkscrew stops, and you want to slam your forehead against the wood. "Oh, god."
His laughter is so nice. "Nah, don't be embarrassed. 's why I gave you your nickname."
"Don't be embarrassed? That's mortifying, Joel. I thought no one—wait." Had you heard him right? "What d'you mean you gave me my nickname?"
Joel's head tilts, and he's definitely a charmer kind of guy. If you do have a chance, you might be fucked. "Your nickname."
"Miss Sunshine?" He nods. "I thought that was Sarah."
"No, Sarah used it first in front of you," he pulls one of the glasses closer to him. "I said it first."
Well... that made it just as special but in a different way. You pour the wine into both glasses. "Good to know. I was under the impression she was the creative genius in the household—I just. Quick question that I never asked her: Why?"
"'Cause every mornin' before I left for work you're there on that big window," he points at the glass window that's occupies ceiling to floor, the very reason you picked this house, "talking to your plants as if you're the sun itself waking them up. 's cute."
Cute. You hate how he has the ability to make you blush. What is this, fucking high school?
"That makes sense."
Joel wipes his palms on the side of his t-shirt and then looks up at you. "If I go home with the promise of comin' back, will you let me shower?"
Let me. You're thankful your arms are covered because you're unsure of what this man is capable of when he knows the effect he has on somebody.
"I'll let you," you answer.
Joel nods and his smile is so genuine that you wonder why you never tried before.
"'kay," he takes one sip of the wine, hums in approval, and then takes a deep breath. "'m gonna go. I'll be back to interrogate you."
"I'll leave the door open."
"No—Jesus bloody Christ, are you and Sarah mad? Lock the door, Sunshine." You like it so much when he's the one that says it. "I'm serious."
"Alright, jeez," you laugh.
It's less tense than you imagined as he puts his shoes back on and walks out of your door. Joel crosses the street with a little wave in your direction, and all you can think is—what on Earth am I gonna do to him?
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When he's back, Joel smells so good it's intoxicating.
It makes your brain melt.
Minty and fresh. That's what his stuff smells like, and you know the idea of that scent's now painted on the walls of your brain.
He does that stupid little dad pose, widening both arms and lifting them up in a display of 'what do you think' before walking in.
It makes you want to push him against the wall, but you do your best at behaving.
For now.
"Brand new man?" you ask.
He points at his glass of wine, untouched since the moment he left. "Will be in a sec."
You wait for him to take a sip before extending him what you held in your hand before he arrived.
Joel eyed the cigarette and, thank fuck, there was none of the annoying judgment sometimes people carried. He stops his movement to sit on the stool and asks, "You smoke in here, or are we goin' outside?"
"There's a table there. Weather's nice. D'you mind?"
Joel grabs his glass, shaking his head. "Not at all, ma'am. Lead the way."
"Ma'am," you echo him, sounding disgusted. He laughs behind you, "Who am I, Mrs. Adler?"
Still laughing, Joel answers, "Nah. Too talkative for that."
You turn around with your mouth hanging open, trying very little to look offended. "I beg your pardon. We never spoke for longer than, what, five minutes?"
Joel shrugs his shoulders. His smile is as intoxicating as his presence. "I hear things."
"You hear things?" you ask, pushing open the door that leads outside.
"I do," he sips his wine, looking to the small terrace where your little table is. "My daughter's a gossiper, little Sunshine. I think y'should know that."
Little Sunshine. Goddamn this man.
"Should I be scared, here? I haven't even told her anything, but I feel like I should be."
"If you didn't tell her anythin', than why would you be?"
"Because!" you laugh, feeling just a little out of your depth with his smoothness. You expected more closeness from Joel. Less teasing, easy banter. "You're talking like someone who knows a lot, that's all."
"And I do," he says, sounding every bit as serious.
You sit down on one of the chairs — your chair, precisely — and watch as Joel walks around a little, taking in the environment. He adds, "Did ya know," pausing for a dramatic effect, he sips again, "that in all of three months, you became one of my daughters' favorite people?"
He pins you under his gaze.
You cross your legs, and watch happily as his gaze drops to the motion.
"Did I?" if you sip at his pace, you'll be throwing yourself on his lap in an embarrassing amount of time.
Joel nods behind his cup, touching one of the many plants that cover your backyard area from floor, to walls, to ceiling. "You did," he smiles, dropping the fake seriousness. "Are you ready to deal with the six months absence? 'Cause from personal experience," he points both hands at his chest, "you try convincing yourself you won't miss her all that much 'cause, y'know, it's "just" a girl, but—fuck," he spits the last word, smiling widening around the fact. "She's so cool to have around. You'll see. Your phone's bill's about to create life."
It grounds you.
The way Joel speaks of Sarah makes you feel comfortable sitting here, and any doubts you had are sucked by the green life around you and returned as oxygen.
Joel talks about anything, no reservations.
In his absence, you doubted whether this could be any different than most times.
Would Joel be like that—like any of those other guys?
He wasn't.
Joel, as much as you hated to admit it, was an exception.
Maybe these things were fated. Simple chemistry. Similar mindsets. Whatever it was—you had it every once in a blue moon.
Your expectations settings were long ago molded to expect the least, and it takes only half a bottle of wine for you to notice the need to rear it in.
He's so damn easy. Joel goes from one topic to another like he's interested. He answers your questions with full interest, sometimes going on tangent stories, and he's the one who keeps the glasses filled.
Attentive, you take note the second time that happens. Before any of the glasses got empty, he served you both.
He compliments your taste in music and sounds genuine about it.
The weird silences you most dreaded never happen—if he's not answering you, Joel asks things. Interesting things, unlike any other neighbor.
"Was it you who decorated your place inside? 'Cause, there are very specific things in there. And you seem like the type to know what you like."
Joel was very attentive.
He asked, "and is this what you like to do with your free time?" pointing at the books you put away when you both arrived, "Drink wine, read, talk to your plants?"
"I still can't believe you've seen me doing that."
He laughed at that. "It's a pretty big window, Sunshine. Jesus Christ—you don't lock the door, you don't know people can see through your gigantic-ass window—I'm genuinely starin' to get worried here."
"Okay, first of all, I do lock my door."
"Do you?"
"'Course. Most days."
"Oh my—"
"—and! Now that I was reminded of my window's size, I'll consider buying drapes. Long, white ones. That'd be cool."
It was easy.
Talking to Joel—sharing a table with him, a glass of wine—so easy.
He never looked uncomfortable. Even if he moved a lot, Joel looked good—so damn good you lost focus every now and then—, but good with himself.
In his skin.
That was intoxicating.
When he does more than just talk and asks things; it's almost too damn easy. Was time supposed to go this way?
The first bottle end, but it's too soon.
You know it. He knows it—plays with it, in fact. Waves the empty bottle after pouring it for you and him in the air very lightly then places it on the floor.
Offering another one is almost a visceral reaction.
You don't have the same finesse he does, or at least, you think not, but if his smiles and closing proximity are anything to go by, he's enjoying himself as much as you are. "I dance around opening these a lot," you say pointing at the empty bottle. Pulling your legs closer to yourself despite the voice of your mother telling you that's a body language sign of insecurity—fuck insecurity. "Don't wanna be the wine lady on top of the plant one. But they're good. I like it."
"I only drink wine when my brother cooks," he offers.
The glass in your hands makes you feel safe enough to land this conversation where you want it. "Really? He cooks a lot?"
"More than me," Joel confesses with a shrug. "He likes to match the wine to the dish and that type o' stuff."
"I was taught how to be picky, but if I'm being honest—" you like the way Joel leans in closer when you pause it. You smile, "it's all just grapes tastin' really, really good." The sound of his damn laugh. This man's gotta have a flaw, you think. "As long as it's wine, I'm happy."
"I think that about a good beer after a day of work."
"We're all just trying to give ourselves little positive reinforcements for playing nice at doing our jobs, huh?"
Joel pauses at that. Lifts his eyebrows, then bursts out laughing. "Oh, wow—"
"Oh god", while it took you a lot of alcohol to get drunk, being open-mouthed about weird things came with the territory of feeling comfortable.
Joel made you comfortable, even if you were mortified at how amused he was.
When he's done laughing, he looks at you. "That's cute. You're the philosophical type."
"Isn't everybody who enjoys wine?"
"I don't know. I enjoy wine and I'm not one to go that far, I think."
"Hmm. Philosophizing can involve different topics. Lenses."
Joel wolf whistles. "Well, I think I'd need a couple more glasses to unlock that side of me."
"Not a problem," you get up, and resist the urge to wink at him. "I'll be back."
Your reflection in the kitchen mirrors is the confirmation of how fucked exactly you are.
It's more than just the color on your cheeks—it's the glassy screen over your eyes, making it shine like...
Well, very few times.
Fuck, you think.
Maybe that's why your palms are sweating.
He's more than you bargained for—Joel's looks were hard to move on from, but this?
Once in Rome...
Fuck it.
It's not as if either one of you was blinded to what a moonlight late-night conversation leads to.
The air outside could be felt.
When you're going back with the opened bottle, another pin drops in your mind.
He has the whole night free.
You don't break the bottle, but it's a close call.
Joel asks you the second you're back, "I have a depressing confession to make—I was tryin' to keep to it to myself, but honestly, it's all I taught about when you left."
You place the bottle in the middle of the table carefully and sit back down with your eyes on him.
He moved his chair closer again.
"Do share," you urge.
Joel looks around the yard—he seems to do it a lot when he's dipping his toes into personal places and says, "This is the first time in a—uh—I don't even know. A while. That I just... sat with another adult. Drank something nice. Talked about more than just—fucking politics, or whatever." Joel's eyes on you make you feel honored. You know he'd say that's a silly thought if you said it out loud. "It's really nice. And—the depressing part comes in now: I'm only here 'cause of my brother."
You tilted your hair. "You're here because... of Tommy?" you tried connecting those dots, but came up short.
Thankfully, Joel was here. With his smile, and his explanation.
"You see, before Sarah's mom and I decided she could spend some months here instead of just a few weekends, I was already... shutting in. His words, not mine," Joel picks up his glass for a sip, and you hang onto every word he says. "So when she came, he took me out one night. That little bar a few blocks from here—y'know Mr. O'Donovan's place?" when you shake your head, he waves a hand, "I'll take you someday—'s the only place around here that's worth a dime."
"I'll take your word for it." I hate bars. You'd go for him. With him.
"I think I know what beer you'd like," it comes off as a whisper, and you have to hide behind your glass again. "I only remember that talk because he made me promise. He's not one to ask for promises."
"What did he make you promise?"
"He was upset 'cause I kept turnin' him down every time he wanted to do his 'meet my friend and you'll be good friends' match-making shit, so he said, 'you promise that the next time someone invites you do somethin' you actually wanna do, you're not gonna turn 'em down? You'll actually fucking go, without makin' excuses to yourself'. And that sounded fair. So I promised."
You take note of the effort he's making.
The subtle 'this isn't just about what's about to happen'.
'I'll take you someday'.
'Next time someone invites you to do somethin' you actually wanna do'.
So more than just neighbors. You nod at that, smiling at him. "He seems like a good brother," you say. "Siblings can be a pain in the ass."
Joel stops his glass on the way to his lip to shake his head at you, "Oh, no no," he takes the sip first, and says, "one doesn't negate the other. He very much is a pain in my ass, trust me."
You laugh. "Older and younger?"
"Younger," he nods. "I had a lil' bit of peace here and there before he was born."
"Can't imagine you'd have it any other way nowadays."
He agrees with you.
When he doesn't, Joel scrunches his nose as he shakes his head.
He does silly faces. You wonder if he's aware of how unfair it is that he gets to look like that. Tender. Charming.
He proves your theory to be right with only half another bottle.
Put two or more adults plus a certain amount of alcohol in a closed environment, and sex will be on the table.
It makes you blush when you think... it could literally be on the table.
Joel pretends he doesn't see you growing hotter. He keeps his eyes on you as you take off the robe instead of looking at your arms. Listens to what you're saying without losing focus.
Only when you're done and asking him something in response that he looks.
It makes your throat dry when he does.
Joel has an unabashed, almost cocky tilt to his mannerisms.
You thought he'd be quieter than he is—more serious.
It's a welcomed contrast.
When sex is laid on the table, it comes because he brought up the joke you made at the beginning of the night about his lack of interest in your life, and decided to ask you things. Where you grew up. If you were always like this.
"Define 'like this'."
"Smart with the calculating glance, and sweet-talking."
"Is that me?"
"Sure is, Sunshine."
None of the questions that people usually ask.
It makes you bite your lip more than you wished—his manly, tall presence gets under your skin in ways that no previous partner managed to. Tucking your hair behind your ear, avoiding leading the conversation to the exact places you liked, giggling—those weren't things you did.
He pulled them from you.
When he does ask you the 'usual' questions, it lacks the malicious curiosity inflating others whenever they did.
Sex is laid on the table because Joel looks you in the eyes with that easiness in his shoulders and asks, "I'm not as private as you, though—all of my neighbors already know Tommy, and Sarah. You, on the other hand... the mysterious crime and horror novelist, who talks to her plants and moved from so, so far. I might not be the prying type, but I was curious about you long before my gremlin set her little claws on you. How come I never see anyone coming in or out of here? You tellin' me not one friend of yours followed you here to god-forsaken Texas?"
Your glass is almost empty, and you focus on the twirling of the red inside it to avert your mind from the way he's sitting. "The point of moving was getting away from them. All of them, as bad as that sounds," you cover your eyes with your free hand, and Joel's hand touches your forearm.
"Hey—it's fine. Don't feel bad. 'm happy you had the privilege of gettin' away. If you wanted to move away from all of it, I'm sure you had your reasons."
Looking between your fingers, you try appraising his face. "Really?"
"Really," he nods.
"Okay." You sit up straight. "And I do have people over, sometimes. You're just always at work."
"Yeah? You made friends already?"
"A few, yeah."
"Where?" he removes his hand from your forearm but drops it to your chair's armrest. The proximity is doing something to you. "I thought you worked from home."
"I do," you agree. "But I do other stuff. I'm not always here with my plants, Joel," you roll your eyes, smiling amusedly.
Joel laughs, "I wouldn't know. If I could work from home and stay with my tools and wood, I would."
"And I believe you," you nodded.
He bites on his smile before asking. "What other stuff d'you do?"
"I joined a book club," you reply, feeling all levels of boring.
From his look, he disagrees. "You got the patience for that?"
"Sure do," you nod again.
He nods, pouting in awe. "Nice," he says. "Are your book club friends givin' you the right impression of Texans?"
"I'm warming up to them," you smile.
Nodding, he asks, "Should I ask now the questions all my neighbors already know the answer to? 'Cause I am curious. Did you know Mr. Adler tried tellin' me what he 'discovered' about you? He tried looking blasé when he said that, but I'm sure he just wanted to gossip about the pretty girl who moved across from him."
"Ew, Joel," you laugh.
His eyes never leave you—you feel it even when you're not looking at him. He's laughing too. "What? It's true."
When you look back up at him, you wonder—when did you two get this close?
"You can ask," you say. "It's not that exciting, the answer. Actually, it's not exciting at all."
"Hmm, I'll be the judge of that," he sips his wine, and leaves the glass on the table. "You already know my backstory, so kill my curiosity now," he pierces with his eyes for a moment, "how on Earth is there no ring on this finger?" he points to your ring finger, then he leans in closer, and you can smell the wine in his breath; you want to kiss it until it's taste is gone, "and how is it that I never see anyone leaving here early in the mornings?"
Well. "No ring 'cause I didn't want one so far," you reply. To him, you give more honesty than anyone else who's asked. "And I have the luxury of living without it. I know many friends of mine who don't—and actually, that was part of..." don't go there. "Nevermind," you shake your head, pinning yourself to here.
"You just didn't want it?" he echos.
You nod, "Never did," there's no reason to lie to him. He smells so good—why would you lie to him? "Most men bore men, Joel."
"Wow," the smile that widens is a little baffled. A little dirty. "Should I be scared?"
At that, you burst out laughing. "Really?" You have no clocks outside, but the starry sky and the deep silence in the houses next to you are a good enough indicator. "It's been... a couple of hours, at least. We're one bottle and a half," you say, looking at your glasses shining on the table, "deep into conversation... and you wonder if you should be scared?"
Joel's still looking at you when you look back. His arm is around your chair, and your back touches it when you lean back against it. "I'll take that as a no."
"You are very far from boring."
"'m happy you think so," he smiles. He lets his eyes drop to your lips, without a care for the two palms of distance that separate your faces. It's meant to be blatant. Obvious. "Just another question..."
Here it comes, you thought. Why no kids? Why so alone? Do you feel lonely?
"Why me?" he asks.
It's nothing more than a breath.
You could ignore it. Give any answer, and close the gap. Instead, you give him honesty. "Honestly? I was so attracted to you, the second I saw you, that I was willing to even hear somethin' stupid coming out of your mouth if I could just—," do it, do it, do it. Seeing his eyes darken from up close is torture. You can feel the pulse of your heartbeat between your legs. "Now, if I were any smart, I'd be wishing for you to be bad at all the rest, because..."
This was amazing already.
Joel laughs, just a single, breathy laugh, and then does something you would never see it coming.
He pushes his chair back with the weight of his hips and drops to his knees.
The gasp you let out is enough to put the most insufferable smile on his face.
"Don't say that," he feigns hurt, as if he wasn't smiling with his eyes and lips. "It might've been a while, but I don't think I lost my touch just yet."
Joel's hands envelop your knees and slowly pull them apart. You feel like an open wire—aware of every breath your body takes and each minimum reaction to him.
You feel the wet pulse inside your panties when he kisses the skin of your inner thigh, right above your knee.
Joel smiles up at you, blinking his eyes.
Damn him, you think. His hands caress their way up your skin, and you wished you were naked already.
He seems like someone to enjoy the torture—when his hands reach the curve of your ass, they stop there, holding onto your waist.
"Have I?" he asks, kissing the other inner leg. You feel a hint of his tongue in the short kiss.
What could you say to that?
"You really haven't."
Feeling the hot breathing of his laughter on your inner thighs was not in your list for tonight.
"Do I get a kiss, then?"
He would never have to ask you twice.
Your legs wrap around his torso when you lean down to meet him for the kiss. Joel seems to love the position—he smiles at first, gripping you by the neck.
He takes his time to look at you before he dives in. A mental check-in. Maybe just admiring, just as you were from the second he kneeled.
His kiss comes from experience. A lot of fucking experience.
If you were weak in the knees before, you seal the notion that you're out of your depth there and then.
Joel kisses like no one's ever kissed you before—like he wants to explore, discover, conquer.
He licks his way inside of you with the first kiss.
His tongue isn't shy; he makes you adjust to his rhythm, to let go and open up, and when you, you're rewarded with it—he pulls up just an inch, just to whisper, "that's it," and then dives back in.
Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and neck in a possessive manner. It's why he makes it so easy for you let him guide it—he's holding you, and you moan as you melt into him.
He wants to feel your body.
The more you press yourself against him, the more Joel grants you little sighs of his own pleasure.
He never pushes his hips against you. Never presses you towards him.
It makes you want to scream.
When he pulls away, Joel sighs happily. He presses his right thumb over your swollen bottom lip, and nodding, kneels on his heels again.
"Joel..."
Your face remains close to his, gravitating to where he does. He whispers, "Lift your hips up for me, Sunshine," wrapped around a smile.
You do as he says.
His hand takes off your shorts without your eyes ever leaving you, and when the item is on the floor, Joel releases the robe you foregone earlier tonight from your backrest to slide down where you sit.
To not make a mess, it says.
Your face is burning up, but not as much as the rest of you.
"Is this ok?" he asks.
He waits for your nod of approval before pulling you by your knees. "Good," he's strong enough to get you where he wants in one pull. Your hips are nearing the end of the chair and from this angle, Joel gets to look.
He eyes the underwear as if it's personally offending him.
"I like the color," he says. He traces a finger across the baby blue lace and looks up at you. "Suits ya," he says. That's when he hooks a finger on the fabric, pulling it to the side. "I dreamt about this."
That gets to you.
Joel's fingers are thorough—able. He uses his knuckles to spread the lips apart, uncaring about the whines you let out above him, still holding on to the shame of being the only one exposed.
It lasts until he places two knuckles on each side of your clit, stimulating it with back-and-forth movements.
You were right about the torture.
He enjoys it.
Joel waits for your clit to be hard between his fingers before he puts his mouth to it.
You can only cling onto his hair.
I dreamt about this, too.
"Fuck—I dreamt about this too," you confess.
His moan vibrating against the core of your pussy makes you clench.
Joel's only starting.
He takes his time in finding the rhythm you most feel pleasure on your clit. He never bites, never nibbles, and doesn't go softly, like other men.
He eats.
Joel's mouth is stuck to you—the way he laps and slurps and sucks on your hardened nub only makes your volume go from whines and pleas of his name to moans in very little time.
That's when he dips his tongue inside. When he uses it as muscle and proves to you why the idea of oral is so good for men.
Because it's good.
Joel gives no indicator that he wants to stop at any time, and it turns you into something that blossoms.
At some point between him almost making you cum just by sucking on your clit and fucking his tongue in and out of you, your legs made their way to his shoulders, and his hands have secured themselves groping your ass.
He pulls back for air, once.
His fingers enter you instead, two at once.
"So wet already," he says. You only hear it, until, "look at me," he asks.
As if his thick, long fingers dripping into places inside of you weren't enough, you get to look at him.
His face glistening on your back porch is something that burns behind your eyelids the second you see it. You feel incoherent, needy, and exposed in more than one way.
Joel looks like he could eat you like this.
"Joel—please. Please," you're begging, but for what, you're not sure.
"Cum for me first. I'll give you whatever you want later, just," he pumps his fingers inside of you, keeping a steady and strong pace, and then says, "You look so good like this, Jesus fuckin' Christ."
Profanities.
That's what he says before getting his mouth back on you—his tongue sucking and vibrating against your clit.
It's too much. Too fucking much, and, "Joel, Joel—"
He pulls back just to say it, "That's it, doin' so good, Sunshine—" and that's when you lose it. The coaxing. It's so earnest. Sounds so pleased, dipping in honey as if it's him who's feeling this good.
"'m gonna cum Joel, fuck me, just like that—"
"Like this? Hm? Show me. Cum on my mouth."
All it takes is for him to put it back on you. Joel knows how to push himself inside—knows how to explore the hot and tight confines of your cunt, because he coos a first orgasm out of you with the right pace only.
No strength. No speed. Just sucking, and curling right against your spot.
Your vision whites out.
The time you take to come back to yourself, he keeps playing with your pussy and the mess he made in it, seeming as satisfied with the result as you are. Somewhere in white land.
What a little death.
After that, it's more a mess and clashes of teeth and desires than you knew you were even capable of.
He pulls you in for a kiss, and you pull him inside the house.
The idea is to make it to your room, but you never make it past the living room.
When you press him against a wall to finish taking off his clothes, seeing him only in briefs makes gravity pull you in.
Nothing but black briefs.
You have to drop to your knees.
Joel curses under his breath and tries his best at keeping his posture, but you're with a mind entirely clouded by raw need.
To him, you want to do only your best.
You're addicted to the way he mutters, "atta girl," every time you discover something that brings him pleasure. It sounds so fucking dirty.
"That's it. Atta fuckin' girl, god."
With him, you use tricks your friends once told you that are buried in the back of your mind. You hold the part of his cock your mouth can't cover and move it in sync with your lips. You make it wet, make sloppy, make it whatever he leads it to be.
Joel hisses and moans louder when you find the special places hidden—the sensitive skin between his balls that leads up, you lick it from start to finish and are rewarded with a full-body shudder.
He shows you what strong body means.
"Where's your room?" he pulls you by the arms, and you somehow end up jumping on him. Exactly what you wanted.
"I'm not makin' that far," you tell him with a grin.
He has his thumb on your lips again—he seems to like your mouth.
"Didn't think you'd want my bare ass on your couch."
"That is exactly where I want your bare ass right now," you tell him.
He's good at following requests, just as he is at giving them.
Joel sits with you already straddling his lap, and bless his gentleman's heart, he says, "I left my pants outside—wait," he curses under his breath with your hips circling his shaft. Letting it slide between your pussy lips. "Fuckin' hell."
"Fuckin' hell indeed," you sigh. "Wait here."
You run outside for it, only because you're not on the pill. Maybe you'll start taking it. Maybe you shouldn't think that far.
Joel's waiting for you alright—he has his hand at the base of his cock, sitting on your couch like a modern-day Adonis.
A sluttier Adonis. Sexier, too.
"Stop starin' and c'mere," he demands;
And who are you to say no to that?
Joel does you the favor of putting it on as you make yourself comfortable on his lap again, taking all of your out of the way. He looks like he wants to eat you alive piece by piece, and you love it.
"Lemme know if you want me to take over," he tells you.
"Yes, sir," you whisper in a taunting manner.
Joel rests his forehead against yours when you line himself up with you, and it's a reward of your stupid, gigantic-ass window letting in the light from outside that allows you to see the pleasure on his face as you sink around him, burying him to the hilt.
His digits press so hard on your sides they'll brise.
You'll be bruised tomorrow morning.
Fingerprints on your hips, beard burns on your inner legs, palm shapes across your ass.
When you start moving, none of you say a word about how it feels.
It's criminal.
Only curses and your names are allowed in the thin space separating your wet bodies.
The thin layer of sweat makes you two glide on each other, and the drag of him inside of you is almost too good for words.
You're scared of the ones that'd make their way out, anyway.
So you let out what you can. You call for him, and he calls back. Joel slaps your ass, both sides of it, and urges you on to take him as you want it.
"Fuckin' christ, I'm never gonna—fuck—never gonna sleep again."
There it is. Being pussy-drunk makes him loose-lipped.
Your own are aching with how hard you bite on them.
Joel lets the reigns remain on your hands as you stay on top. He lets you ride him painfully slow, and faster, just because it feels good. He lets you climb all the way up only to slam back down, praising you through the fog in your brain.
"Does it feel good, Sunshine? Mm? My cock feels that good for you?"
You're sure it'll all come back to haunt you once your brain can be coherent.
He takes charge when you start begging him, and for what, you're unsure of. It's a mixture of please and his name, which Joel takes as his permission slip.
He flips you onto your back, hooks one of your legs on the middle of his back, and fucks you both into another orgasm.
It should be concerning the way he does it—like he's familiar with your body and your cues. He just follows your pace and moans until you're clawing at his back, and when his name comes out over and over again, he coaxes it again. Coos at you, holding your face in one hand. "You're gonna cum for me, aren't ya? Do it. I'll cum for you when I feel you shakin' around my cock, Sunshine. Cum for me."
It comes so hard you almost faint; blackout.
Joel takes care of you afterward.
Of course he does.
Even with the weakest legs and the minimum sense of reality around you, he manages. Joel leads you upstairs, tells you he's collected your clothes, and even lays down when you ask him.
"Just for a while," you ask.
He lays in front of you in bed, and pulls your arms around him. "I'm puttin' an alarm."
Little spoon. "You gotta be back here in the morning anyway."
"I know," he kisses your wrist. "Can't wait."
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moonstruckme · 4 months
Note
“Wow,” Morgan sighs happily, “I don’t know which one of you is more whipped.” 
i'm so obsessed with this line from one of your recent spencer reid works and i would loooove to see more of this dynamic if you're interested in doing it 💗 maybe more moments of them being soft/whipped for each other and the team noticing it? thank youuu!!
Thank you lovely!
cw: mention of kidnapping (more a backdrop than anything)
Spencer Reid x bau!reader ♡ 1k words
Spencer really wishes he’d remembered his gloves. The air is biting, fresh powder glistening on the deep green spruces whose boughs stoop under its weight. It’s picturesque, and yet the snowfall couldn’t have come at a worse time. It’s impeded their search party by hours, potentially dooming the kidnapping victim they’re all braving the weather for. Spencer keeps his hands stowed in his coat pockets. 
“Hey.” 
He turns as you and Emily come up behind him. You’re both dressed better than he is, actual winter wear as opposed to the tweed coat he’d worn into the police station that morning. Even so, your cheek and nose are look chilled as you smile at him. You carry a disposable coffee cup in each hand. 
“Hi,” Spencer says, taking the one you extend to him. His numb fingers are grateful for the warmth of it. “I thought you guys were interviewing the uncle?” 
Emily’s shaking her head before he’s finished speaking, mouth pulling in discontent. “That was a dead end. He and his sister have been estranged for years. He doesn’t know anything.” 
A frown tugs at your features as Emily talks but you perk up quickly when you feel your boyfriend’s gaze. “We figured we’d be more helpful here,” you say brightly, “and also that you might want some liquid reinforcement.” 
“Thanks.” He does a little toast with his disposable cup and regrets it immediately, but thankfully you smile. Spencer isn’t sure how he got so lucky; it seems like he can get away with any number of weird things and you’ll find them endearing every time. “There hasn’t been much progress here either. If they left any sort of tracks, the snow covered it up. I’m not…” he lowers his voice, angling his head away from the others in his group. “I’m not sure we’ll find her alive in this.” 
“We’ve still got eight hours,” Emily points out. 
She’s right, he tells himself. There are eight hours left in the forty-eight hour window. But that’s also just a statistic. And as someone whose brain is packed full of statistics, Spencer knows that they’re not always reflective of reality. The eight hours his team has left might be more for hope than anything else. 
Emily drifts ahead of you in the group and you bump your shoulder lightly into his, forcibly derailing his train of thought. He looks over at you. Your lips are tipped up, just a little. Not faking anything, but understanding, a quiet promise that regardless of how today turns out, you’ll be in it together. He finds it easier than expected to return your smile. 
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Your hair curtains your face as you look down, unzipping your jacket to dig something out of the interior pocket. “You left your gloves at the station.” 
“Yes.” You laugh at his eagerness as he takes them from you. “I can’t believe I forgot them, thanks so much for bringing them.” 
“Of course, it was no problem.” Your eyes skim the trees. Spencer suspects that if your face weren’t already so pink it’d be coloring now. “I figured you might need them, so.” 
“You were right.” 
Your gaze flits to his as you grin, then falls to where he has his gloves held bunched with his coffee cup. “Oh, do you want me to take that so you can put them on?” 
“That’d be great,” he says, relieved. 
He holds the cup out to you. You reach for it, but when your fingers brush his in the transfer, you gasp, covering his hand with yours. 
“Spence,” you say softly, remonstrance gentled. “Your hands are freezing!” 
“They’re not as bad as they were before. What are you doing?” 
You’ve taken one of his hands in yours and appear to be inspecting it closely. “Checking if your fingernails are blue.” 
“They’re not,” he laughs, though he lets you finish your perusal until you’re satisfied. “I would know if I had frostbite. I’d be able to identify the symptoms early on.” 
“They’re just so cold,” you fret. “I’ve never felt skin that cold before.” 
The tops of his hands are still freezing, but his palms and the pads his fingers have warmed from the coffee cup. “I’m not sure they’re colder than your face,” he says, pressing his free hand to one of your cheeks. 
Unsurprisingly, your skin is cool to the touch, but you smile warmly as you push your cheek into his palm. 
“Okay, you two,” Emily says without turning around, “less fraternizing on the job. 
You straighten immediately. “We were just—”
“Being cute and coupley?” Uncannily, Morgan appears on Spencer’s other side. He has no idea when his nosiest coworker had drifted back from the front of the group. “We know. But could you save it for the hotel later? Even all the sparks flying off you two can’t melt all this snow, and I want to get out of here sometime before dark.” 
Spencer suspects his face is about as red as yours as he looks down to pull on his gloves. Morgan relishes in it, raising an eyebrow at you. 
“And don’t think I didn’t notice that you brought pretty boy here a coffee and not me.” He tsks. “I didn’t expect such blatant favoritism from you, sweetheart. I’m disappointed.” 
“I was carrying yours,” Emily says, her tone conveying an eyeroll so effectively she doesn’t need to follow through with the action. She pushes a disposable coffee cup into Morgan’s chest. 
He doesn’t look one bit sheepish as he takes it, though Spencer notices you trying to repress a grin that’s bordering upon smug. 
“This has lipstick on the lid.” 
Emily shrugs. “I finished mine in the car.” 
“So you started on mine?” 
“I sampled.” 
“You’re lucky I exhibit such blatant favoritism,” you say quietly to Spencer under their bickering. “I finished mine in the car too.” 
He raises his eyebrows, and you shake your empty cup as proof. Spencer takes your hand, wrapping it around his coffee cup. “We’ll share.”
2K notes · View notes
yveaart · 4 months
Text
how to lose a guy in 10 days — csc
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choi seungcheol x reader
genre : fluff, smut, enemies to lovers, jealousy (?), fake relationship, bets (yk how the movie goes), profanities
synopsis : you had to prove to your friends that you could easily make a guy lose interest within a week, having no interest in indulging yourself in a relationship after your past ones. all those relationships led you to narrow down a list on how to make a guy sick of you. you had all the card in your hands and seems like you don’t get to play it.
warnings : mdni, proceed with causion bc this is my first actual svt fic it might be shitty. not proofread lol, reminder that this is my take on the plot and it will not flow the exact same plots in the movie
i do not feel so confident about this bc i wrote this with mind in shambles. literally me comforting myself with svt while i'm dying from my studies rn :') pls tell me if you like it bc i would most def appreciate it <3
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it was another slow day at work when you sat down at your desk and sighed. all your work mates and friends seems to confide in your reaction but your circle knew that this sigh wasn’t a “damn-im-so-stressed-and-sick-of-work-sigh” for them it was more of a “wow-life-is-hectic-its-almost-making-me-want-a-man”
and just like clockwork their brains clicked and hovered over your cubicle. poor u so startled that you almost gagged on your coffee.
“what?” you shooted
“are we gonna meet boyfriend number 13?” karina said in a sing song voice
“more like fling number 17?” sakura retorted
“maybe a first situationship since she haven’t experienced one yet” yunjin said curiously
“jesus christ i’ve had that much men and i’m not gay yet?” you said surprised
“maybe you just need a new set up?” yunjin asked
“like what doggy style?” karina questioned
“not like that you idiot” sakura glared
“maybe i’m just meant to end up in a church and dedicate my life to holiness” you huffed
“please you would burn the moment you step in a cathedral” sakura laughed
“well i just know how every relationships end, it’s almost like completing all endings for a video game, its predictable and cliche” you sighed
“let’s welcome fling number 17 then” karina announced
“i’m too tired for just fucks you know? it won’t take long before i actually get infection and i turn into a zombie and bite you all from all these stupid ideas” you rolled your eyes at your friends.
right now you just actually need to see if theres a guy out there in the world who could actually commit and actually accept a persons flaws out of love.
all too cheesy but you would like to find a partner who would find no flaws in you and probably just call them your little unique antiques that they can live with.
you were so sick on seeing tutorials or manifestation hacks on the internet because does anyone genuinely love each other anymore? all these “how to become a maneater”, “how to make them dream of you”, “how to make him fall in love using a potion” bullshit got you sick of people now.
why did god even create men to accompany themselves if they’re preferences and expectations are for the deities taste themselves.
“OH MY GOD I GOT IT!” yunjin screamed making all your peers look over to your area
“what is it?” you asked dying for a solution
“what if you meet a guy and just unfling him?” she said as if there was a light bulb above her head
“yall need to make her stop doing overtime” sakura deadpanned
“NOO, like you’re talking all these commitment things all the time then what if you find a random guy and make him not fall in love with you and see if he stays?” she said
“so like i should go out being an annoying red flag and see if he stays?” you giggle but it all went away when all your friends kind of agreed because they’re also sick of u having these guy problems already.
“i guess thats not all bad” karina suggests
“you should wear your best outfit tonight because we will find your lucky target then y/nnie” sakura winked at you before discussing the plans with yunjin and karina
it was not long until the night came as you got ready, you scoffed on how stupid this bet is because it’s like you claimed “very predictable and cliche” to lose a guy.
it was then your friends picked you up and pulled up to the bar. a few shots came by as you hustled through the crowd searching for your so called the one. but as you surf through the tables everyone fell short to your friends standards as if it was a big serious thing.
you grew tired, what was the point, you knew your fate then you should probably accept it now.
you drank your last shot for tonight planning your weekend with whole lots of tubs of ice cream until you flinched by karina grabbing your arm.
“him” she said, audible enough for the three of you to hear. you faced the guy she was referring to as all the noice fade into the background blur hearing yunjin screech and them clapping happily, your time froze.
the most goddamn, drop dead gorgeous man came to sight.
“isn’t that choi seungcheol?” sakura stating a rhetorical question
“they said no one could ever bag him up” yunjin replied
“ooh sounds like one of y/n’s guys” karina giggled.
“are you up for it then?” sakura challenged you
“please this will probably come by a breeze, so? 100 bucks each?” you winked as the three of them agrees after a total chaos.
“choi seungcheol, let the games begin” you muttered
on the other side of the bar there was a crowded group of 13 people who were mindlessly taking shot over shot as they were crowned as the most obnoxiously loud people for the night.
most of them spitting out tipsy thoughts to one another as they joined forces on pinning and choosing choi seungcheol as the victim for tonight.
“here comes the virgin joseph for tonight, choi seungcheol!” dk hooted while hoshi was giggling to any phrases the latter would make out
“isn’t it mary though?” joshua pondered drunkly on the edge of the couch munching on the nuts hoping it would make him sober as it was too early to go home.
“whatever, we still get the point. so what’s with the anti-women behavior cheol?” jeonghan grinned. his smile too wide to seem oblivious of the answer.
“i think dating is now deemed predictable to me,every woman i dated either wants my money, my body, fame, or a father figure” cheol sighed deeply
“wait you’re a dad?” dino’s brows furrowed in deep confusion as cheol stood there with utter disbelief
“i thought we we’re supposed to have a fun hangout today, and now all of you are just looking like alcoholics with all these bottles in our table” seungcheol complained
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING ALCOHOLICS?!” mingyu exclaimed looking at the opposite direction of where cheol was.
“FUCKER I DIDNT CALL YOU ANYTHING” minghao retorted to a confused mingyu facing him causing cheol to place a palm over his forehead.
“how about you start charming women for who you truly are?” vernon continuing the passed topic.
cheol didnt know if he was thankful for vernon re entering a topic, all the “seemingly” sober people joined up on the topic. they soon somehow convinced cheol to meet new people and try making them fall in love with him.
kkuma needed a mom, maybe he did too (but not in a maternal sense
“i doubt scoups can make a girl fall in love with him” dino giggled in the verge of passing out.
“i sure can ! it’s like a walk in the park” seungcheol defended.
“not even within a month” jeonghan added
“not even a week” jun stared blankly.
seungcheol always had placed his pride on a pedestal, it’s the source of his cocky behavior.
“oh please, give me 10 days it would be like she’s under a love spell” cheol snickered blanketing his bruised ego.
“deal, i bet 20 that we’ll have another meeting on the 10th day having cheol drop dead drunk at thus exact spot” jeonghan screamed only standing for the first time for the night.
it was chaos after that, but the group was almost divided equally in the process of them making bets and weighing the odds of cheol’s fate.
seungcheol wished the ground opened its jaws and buried him six feet under
even he was lying to himself with his statement, but one thing about choi seungcheol— he always wins.
“i’m gonna head home now” cheol said, he wish he didn’t.
he somehow wished that they were all too drunk to force him into the grave he dug himself. mercy will be the end of their bond, so as fate has written cheol’s fortune.
“i guess cheol is accepting his pussy title” jeonghan sighed
“i am not a pussy” cheol responded
“then i guess you’ll have to prove that” joshua sighed blankly at him
“let’s start by choosing the lucky girl who’s gonna take cheol’s v card”
“i’m not even a virgin” cheol rebutted with a frown, the liquor making him submit to his true emotions.
“please you barely lost it” dk laughed
“well i barely felt it….” cheol muttered
“let’s do her” dino pointed at the wall as he stood quickly stumbling with his head spinning
“who’s he pointing at? did he shave his eyes as well?” woozi said laughing
“shut up pink panty guy, i’m talking about the girl that has red hair and wearing a black dress” dino said laying on the floor
“ooh, she looks hot like seungcheol’s type” jun teased
if he didn’t spot your bright auburn hair he would’ve sworn to himself that these guys we’re just throwing a hate crime at him, but god, you we’re his type.
“go on mr. choi, show us your charm” mingyu pushing cheol closer to your area in the bar
you were planning on stepping up, but you had to make one thing sure, so you turned around to your friends with burgundy rushing through your cheeks with the thrill throwing you into your pit of endless thoughts.
“makeup, and outfit : perfect” yunjin started with a wide grin
“hair : gorgeous and can easily make a ponytail” karina winked as you glared at her
“teeth clean and ready for sucking” sakura smiled
jesus christ you were asking for a reality check and they just simply can’t avoid adding scandalous statements as if that’s all you do.
you were ready
were?
are?
was?
fuck.
you backed up quickly as you saw a guy charging at your direction ready to barf up on you.
quick arms catches your moving physique, as your back became dependent on the person unbeknownst to you.
two groups filled your senses with squeals, laughing and cheering waking you up from your not so cute dilemma
you turned to the person behind you seeing the man of the night
choi seungcheol.
“you okay, sweetheart?” his voiced hush, you felt warm and you swore that is was just the buzz from the liquor
quickly you went to work
“omg thankyou o-oppa” you’re voice cracked because you simply cannot believe the words that escaped your lips.
there was terror in his eyes, the moment you saw it, it went away. a pretty grin was graced upon your lips because this will be one hell of a ride
he better be sure to keep his seatbelts on because you’re gonna totally rock his world.
day 1 : the tortoise and the hare
spoiler, the hare never wins
guys hate being speedy, if they’re looking for a woman they can take home to his mom it would definitely not be the woman who wants to be dicked down after the first date.
and this wasn’t even a date
he took you to his place after your so called friends left the both of you in the landmine
he only intended you to sober up, and you only wanted him to curse you off his life. but it would be no fun if you just did it in a day, wouldn’t it?
the sound of the collision of class and marble led to both of your eyes to be met.
“thank you, really, or what else i would’ve smelled like vodka and whatever the fuck that person just ate” you sighed in relief genuinely
“no worries, you don’t smell like barf or vodka…. maybe a little of tequila but you’re good” he smiled
fuck. he’s hot and he knows it, a part of you wished that he was some sort of narcissist so you could do this thing in a easier way.
his face sculpted and graced with beauty his eyes filled with wisdom and maturity, his lips full and shaded like cherries.
you we’re definitely down to have a fling with him, but according to you, you were planning to change your ways and test the purpose and ability of men.
“mhm, i’m tired let’s watch a movie?” you smiled with your forced high-pitched voice
you love how he would hide the way his face would wince when you talk or the way his jaw slacked on your statement.
you smiled at the thought of him trying to take you out of his multi-million mansion because you were pushing boundaries he built for you
“yeah.. sure, what do you wanna watch?” he assisted you by the waist as he brought you up the stairs.
you wanted to get out, you wouldn’t think that it would go like this. fuck the boys manual maybe it doesn’t work with hot rich guys
“the notebook, i LOVE that movie” you smiled and you could see how he expected that
as you laid in his sheets, which you felt deeply sorry for actually staining his pearly and silky shits with your outside clothes, but your pride held you high. if you fell from your pride or for him then maybe then you could wash his sheets.
the room was dimly lit, the ambience warm as he intended.
he sat next to you, with distance for respect according to cheol’s brain.
you couldn’t predict him, and maybe he sends mix signals, and that made you feel less guilty because you concluded that he’s a womanizer. he knew all of these antics a little too well.
“it’s getting hot” you sighed fanning your face adjusting your dress to the right extent, you held your hair exposing your neck to him making sure he saw it.
"really? my ac is so low right now" he was surely acting oblivious.
you may be frustrated at him for not taking your hits but you guess it would make a good build up, meanwhile he was there dumbfounded from all the tricks you pulled, he was slowly getting hard but that's another story.
he was thinking if he should drop it, it seemed like you just wanted a one night stand, but speaking of the devil (angel) jeonghan sent him a text showing him how much money he would be getting if he proved them wrong.
somehow in the end all of his friends were convinced that he would stay bitchless. there was a whole chapter within their groupchat making fun of what he said earlier at the bar.
truth be told, he didn't give a fuck about the money, he wanted his dignity and pride back.
"my body is so warm because of all the shots i took though" you reasoned out quickly.
"well my body is really cool right now" he faced you slowly pulling you close but you had other plans
you quickly kissed him as if you were desperate for it.
"mmm- i think we should slow down y/n" he rushed to tell you.
you wanted to grin so bad, victory laid on your side, but you had to put a sad face asking him if he no longer likes you repeatedly as he escorted you out of his house.
you quickly twirled and skipped across the road when you were sure he was inside already. he was there though, watching through his window.
maybe he had to step up.
day 2 : the in-laws
there was not a single text on cheols phone the next morning, soon learning your phone was inside the purse you left at his house.
he wanted to scan your purse thinking of a way to sweep you off your feet today. but a gentleman doesn't mess with a ladies purse.
after the the long chat you had last night, you exchanged your details to each other which now led cheol to your apartment building with flowers and a wide smile.
"hi i got these for you-"
"wait cheollie, say hi to your mom !" you cut him off with a smile
his face quickly shifting, you what?! he was slowly shaking on the inside quickly settling down your purse, flowers on your coffee table.
"h-hi mommm" he grinned as if his mom could see him.
"seungcheol i didn't raise you to hide your partners from me like this, i really like y/n you know, so when's the wedding?" his mom ushered
"a wedding?" you gasped and started screeching as if it was real
"we'll see mom haha.." he replied deranged from the situation made just 2 minutes ago. he quickly hung up before his mom could get any more ideas.
"well that was interesting, i didn't know that you knew my mom" he restrained himself from losing himself.
"well i have to meet your parents anyways right, cheollie?" you smiled at him
"yeah, but we just met yesterday" he deadpanned
"well, you don't think we're gonna work out" you started sobbing in front of him making small obnoxious hiccups
"well that's not what i meant baby" he hushed and spent the afternoon babying you while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
day 3 : monday flings
"i seriously cannot fathom how much patience he has to reach day 3" you genuinely lay your opinion
"i was a complete total psycho, but he must be mental" you said to yourself
"that's fucking crazy because if i had to put up with that you would never hear from me again" sakura said bluntly which bruised and praised you at the same time
"i need a break from my alter ego as well, i hope he has no plans on asking me on anything anymore at least"
the day went as if you had never met choi seungcheol at all, which made you relieved for at least having a rest day, sure it was such a short time but god how tiring it was to be somebody else
"i just really realized how to fit in somebody else's shoes" you sighed as you and your friends exited the building together ready to go home and simply pass out.
"then don't fucking wear them" karina said
"but this is the whole point, being a stereotypical woman in a relationship"
you all soon parted in your own ways as you walked through the neighborhood near yours, you realized you just walked passed by seungcheol's house and this made you walk a bit faster and try to fabricate your distinguishable looks. but guess what
"aw baby don't hide from me" he coos slowly pulling you in his embrace.
"i was just looking for you" he smiled as he rushed you into his home
you somehow wished he could just stab you right now.
he led you to his living room filled with rose petals and candles dedicating a whole playlist of his vinyl records for you. you spent the evening sharing his home cooked dinner, which was actually delicious. and he soon brought out his photo albums from when he was a kid.
"do you think our children look just like you?' your sentence made you freak out but you supressed it wanting him to be affected by your vicious visions.
"how about we go back about the marriage thing for now" he faked out a laugh.
"i want this to be our family's house too" you sighed in content while scanning the architectural structure.
"if that's what you want" he smiled and pecked your forehead, which had caught you by a surprise.
"it is" you smiled, you didn't want to admit it but something formed within you when he said that.
"i'll be having a boys night tomorrow so i might not respond quickly to your texts"
"is it strictly 'boys only' ?" you asked forming an idea and swallowing these funny feelings that have bloomed within you.
"well it had always been"
day 4 : poker night
if fate was inevitable, they should you hit you up then.
you were in a cab with your hands filled with cheol's place in mind.
"cheol having a 4 day record is worth celebrating" jeonghan teased
"it's been that long?" mingyu asked actually impressed
"i've been in a lot of relationships since college, stop making it seem like im a loser" he sighed
"probably just in college" minghao retorted
"it's probably going well, maybe next year she could meet his parents" seungkwan noted
"please, she met them the second day we met" cheol answered scoffing at the thought
"now i know why girls are driven away from you" jun cringed at cheol
"she called them herself the day we met, she even said that our children will live here, and she tried to sleep with me the first day we met !" cheol finally shared his experience the past few days
"ooh feisty and a woman with a plan, that's so horanghae coded" hoshi smiled reaching his palms out and curling the ends of her fingers.
"you're going delusional again hamster" minghao smacked the back of hoshi's head causing the latter to relieve it by rubbing his head.
"maybe cheol could get laid now with her bold behavior, someone who can tame mr. pride-over-pants-down-choi-seungcheol over here" joshua said
"she's just a bet-"
the violent reactions that flashed through the faces of his group-mainly cheol when you came in the door in the middle of the game.
the guys quickly recovered teasing cheol for being so attached already calling her over for a boys night.
"hi guys!!" you said excitingly trying on your best cute expression you could muster up while hoshi replied to you with the horanghae pose as you quickly reciprocated it.
"i just thought i could put some of my stuff here so you could always remember me cheollie" your eyes twitching the moment your face was parallel with the wall
cheol was in awe with the first few vases you put out, until there were at lest 13 in his living room only. his house looking like he was out there selling urns
you were going around his place disrupting them, even changing their ambient music into some of britney spear's playlist
and even making very concerning screams around the kitchen just behind the living room.
"cheollie, can you get me some water" you whined when you heard them telling cheol it was his turn
he caught you reaching out unto the cupboards for a glass, he quickly got you what you requested and leaving you there
you were quick to grab onto his arm and grab the cigarette out of his mouth.
"you need to stop smoking" you tell him genuinely, his demeanor sensing your honesty his brows rested as he gave you a smile.
"i need to keep my lungs healthy for our children huh?" he teased you with a knowing smile
day 5 : ghosting
after his game with the boys, you two spent so much time together after.
he was being sulky after receiving his first losing game last night from all your disruptions last night.
but he never mentioned you being a nuisance, and just maybe because it was stored somewhere deep his chest the frustrations he held
but you stayed clingy to him filling him up with your presence even when you already went home flooding his texts until it was dawn
today you decided to stay low, you were lying in wait in this part of the plan
by doing so much the past few days today you decided to give ghosting a shot
"god i just wanna die if i need to go through this just to find a decent human being" you sighed frustrated at yourself
you wish you could stop now, there was 150 bucks on the line
or this is what you thought that hindered from you from stopping, you stared longingly on your laptop
quickly dialing his number you grinned at the sound of his voice
day 6 : a large iced diet coke and a kiss to go
today you planned on watching a knicks game with cheol, it was both your favorite thing to watch.
the stadium filled with cheers as you were shaking with thrill watching the tight game among your favorite team handling each other by the neck
most of the game went well according to cheol
during the break the venue managers continued to do the kiss cam.
you were interested looking at random people sharing affection through this stupid camera. but you didn't know it would face you.
you saw your face light up with surprise as the other guy next to you exposed on the kiss cam
you were looking at him
"i'm-" the guy was cut off when seungcheol grabbed you by the nape sealing your lips with his plush ones, the camera then panning to the both of you instead of you and the other guy.
"you weren't in the kiss cam" you said smiling- wait no don't.
"well i was just now" he said cockily
"i'm not gonna let you kiss him when i'm here" he said and that lit a fire within you
the final part of the game resumed as you both were cheering wildly through the crowds
it was time.
you asked cheol to bring you coke since you were extremely famished according to your words.
cheol quickly glanced at you, the bottom of the stadium, on the scoreboard, and back to your eyes.
he quickly ran getting you the drink that you wanted.
"i cant drink too much sugar though i need the diet one" his face turning into a distressed one jogging back up the long steep flights of stairs as he huffed to the vendor that you wanted the coke one, being only available to watch the game through the small monitor by the ceiling
there was about 3 minutes left, your team still having time to win over
he rushed back to you quickly handing you your coke, but there was another thing-
"i need ice cheollie" you whined at him, he groaned but still went over to do it
only a few moments left before the game ends the vendor still working on you precious drink, seungcheol staring at the monitor.
you felt bad, like actually. but you had to keep this up
you were enjoying the game until you were drowned in your thoughts on how you were ever gonna ask for his forgiveness after all this
you were a bitch and get over your act.
the crowd calling out through your ears realizing your favored team won, you had to force a smile especially a lovely one at cheol to make him think you were being a menace
maybe if you pushed him enough you could end this sooner, you can't admit that he was charming, handsome, and his behavior is no less than how a gentleman should act.
sorry coups.
the game ended, you were exiting the venue with cheol as his arm around your shoulder quickly calling you a cab home.
"thank you for this babe" you smiled passing him the cup, hoping you were rude enough for him to not call you up anymore
"no problem, you gave me your other ticket to watch with you anyway" he smiled pecking you before you left.
he crumpled the cup and threw it away.
day 7 : the revelation
you and cheol spent this day with a quick breakfast by the small cafe nearby, chatting through the busy streets of your city, he asked you to come to his event tomorrow which you accepted. after breakfast there were barely any interactions coming between the two of you.
why stay through this conditions?
well we bring you to the day 1
you were troubled writing your new article on the magazine company you were working for.
your boss expecting so much from you, you simply cannot write anything too political or anything controversial at all, so you stuck on to writing these stupid "how to" to articles which was a huge success for your company.
you were stuck, nothing to write, drafts filled with calling out peace for all countries experiencing genocide and territorial invasions or calling out to politicians who were legitimately caught only on scandalous events but never the seat of any meetings.
you were a writer a "how to girl", you swore you did it all and wrote them, how to talk your way out of a ticket, how to feng shui your apartment and even having those little tests you wrote printed by the magazine.
seungcheol was a lawyer, he stayed in his grandfathers law firm, his grandfather desperate for him to get wed and have a family who will take care of the firm and would take care of him as well.
seungcheol's grandfather knew his luck in love, so he prayed that even when he passes, his grandson will still have someone to be with.
day 8 : pride over love
cheol came over to your place at dusk seeing you with your flattering yellow dress with a backless cut on the back.
he was stunned by your beauty, his hand leading to his chest.
"my god" he whispered to himself as he paced closer to you
"you're gorgeous" he smiled as he kissed your temple
"you don't look to bad yourself" you grinned at him
you decided to stay in your apartment for a while as you settled a few of your stuff before you leave
he glanced over your record player and fidget over your albums then he finally sat down digesting the whole essence of your place, it was hard for him to stay still thinking that you were some dumb bet but he knew you were more than that, he knew you we're attractive but the breeze tonight was only revealing your true selves to each other.
you came in the room with your purse settling it by the coffee table as your favorite song came by, you couldn't help but singing along to it
and other girls dreamed that they'd be cheol's partner
they'd be cheol's partner and
you're so vain
you probably think this song is about you
and then you both exploded in to giggles proceeding to do silly dances before heading out.
you both arrive at an immaculately decorated building, you could already hear all the people chattering inside the building making a light buzz on your ears
"cheol, you should come meet our new stockholder" his coworker ushered him as he looked at you with slight worry
"i'll be fine you should go" you pushed him lightly and he just nodded at you making a phone call sign telling u to call him if anything happens
it was a while when you were just sitting by the bar drinking your nth drink for the night, it wasn't your intention to do so, but that was the only thing that can occupy you. you didn't want to bother cheol on his night so you stayed lowkey.
you weren't drunk but you rethink because you didn't know why seungcheol's grandfather ushering you to talk to him.
"so i heard that you have been seeing my grandson" he started
"oh yeah i am" you politely answered, guilt wrapping you up when you realized that you were only feigning everything.
"i'm glad that he told me about a girl he goes out with, he barely tells me anymore because they don't last long" he giggled
"oh really? i would expect him to be married by now actually" you joked with him
you felt comfortable around him, his friends, his relatives, and even his co workers, they really provided you with a nice environment.
"i'm happy that you stayed with him even after knowing that you just started as a bet-"
"excuse me?" you were violated.
"i mean please excuse me i need to get some fresh air"
there was regret in mr.choi's face but it also held worry, was it true? you were a bet? what did he win for you? for this? what did he mean that you started as a bet?
you were furious, you knew you were also doing him wrong, but you felt bad for all of it.
it wasn't helping that you had to admit to yourself that you did like him. even through the fucked up situations you had this week, it was all messed up, fake.
but even in all that chaos, he was consistent, he was there.
now you're doubting if that was his acting as well
because now you were burning everywhere, because you knew you crossed the fine line along the feigned adoration over real devotion.
you adore choi seungcheol.
but now that meant nothing.
quick and heavy foot steps were heard behind you
"y/n!" cheol managed out with huffed breaths
you faced him with disdain painting your face.
“wow, you’re gonna run away after you defy me?” he laughed sarcastically, his face sullen his eyes filled with fury
“defy you? what about you making me a bet?” it dawned on him realizing that you knew about his faults too.
it was true, you did defy him, not that it was your choice, you had to do it for your job, you wrote about him, one of your how-to blog and magazine experiments.
how to lose a guy in 10 days
this was your last project being a part of this magazine line. you swore you couldn’t keep on using people for an article, you planned on being a journalist after quitting, after making him your last.
because after all, you love him.
your article could also be called “how to stupidly fall in love and find a man in 10 days”
“it was a bet at first, then i fell, but you just played me” he looked at you as if you just stabbed him straight to the chest
“what?” you said confused
“leave. i don’t ever wanna see you anymore” he warned
“didn’t know you could stoop so low, and don’t worry i will”
“how to lose a guy in 10 days huh?” he started “lucky you y/n because you just lost him” he uttered walking away.
the night turned completely upside down, both of your chests swelled with guilt, shame and anger.
your heart dropped, but you just swallowed you pride and left.
day 9 : drive me out of town
quickly packing your things to leave, you won’t do any good here now that everything is tainted by the man you met just a little more than a week ago.
you spent your whole day just wallowing the sadness from your love life leaving your friends, your apartment.
you published that article about choi seungcheol to have income before you left your low life and start as a struggling journalist to do what you always wanted, to write about more important things
conventional, innovative, a cry of the oppressed.
but people seemed to worry if blondes were more fun than brunettes.
you truly regret using him, but you both did the wrong things to the write people, only fate knew that.
you rode your cab ready to leave this damned city to move to another identical one.
the familiar streets slowly blurred into the abyss of the distance as you called your friends and relatives one by one just catching up and telling them little life updates.
you were sad, but you knew that seungcheol is probably feeling a lot more than you were.
the darkness of the sky basked you a sense of comfort, there’s always a new day.
you wished him peace.
it was a fault writing about him and confessing about you felt at the same time, but he deserved the last bit if honesty left to your fake situationship.
a raging motorcycle suddenly honks at your vehicle endlessly. your cab giving way but it seemed like it wasn’t what the motor rider meant
“OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP” you told the cab driver when you realized it was cheol’s bike.
was he planning to run you over?
you got out displaying yourself in front of the man you loved.
“y/n, it was all true” he said taking his helmet off he huffed tiredly but not slowing down his pace to get close to you
“what are you saying?”
“i liked you that’s why i agreed with the bet, hoping you would like me back, even though your personality was hard to work with” he laughed to himself
“why are you saying this? why now?”
“maybe i flipped the page too quick not seeing that you loved me as well”
“love”
“what?”
“i still love you” you whispered
“you won your bet a little too well mr.choi seungcheol”
“i love you too, and i don’t care if you pull your annoying your girl antics i still love you”
“that wasn’t me” you laughed
“well there was a part of you who did it, and i love all of you” he smiled showing his gummy grin.
you couldn’t help but feel free, you weren’t stuck in that annoying girl’s body forcing the guy you love to hate you.
“kiss me, cheol” you teared up
he didn’t need to be told twice as he rushed to close the distance between the two of you, his lips crashing to yours savoring every inch of it. your head shifting in sync as you both connected not wanting to let go.
today’s day 1. the first day of making it real.
day 10 : my heart, it lies within yours.
passed 12 am
i guess you did actually lose your bet now with your friends. at day 10 choi seungcheol was plush against your skin his lips in yours, and your hands in his hair.
“i hate that you have me wrapped around your finger” he groaned onto your lips
“i hate that you actually won your stupid bet” you sighed
“i always win, and this feels so much better than winning” he said lifting you
your bags left on the floor the moment you reached his home, he told you to call it yours as well, from now on.
your silence didn’t last long when the both of you were longing for each other leading you up to this moment.
“hm so cocky huh?” you teased him as you started kissing down on his neck as he laid you on his bed.
you pulled down on his tie realizing he was so busy at work all day.
you kissed him once more and switching the positions that you were previously on as you climbed onto his lap and continued making out
your hands wandering on his hair and his hands on your ass.
your tongue interacting as he let you do whatever you want, his hands started wandering on your body leaving your skin burning for more.
your kiss being more needy as you started to grind on his hard on. he groaned onto your lips leaving you to grind harder.
you started to unbutton his clothes as he followed suit, removing yours as well.
he was pulling on his tie
“no” you stopped him
“keep it on love” you commanded
he could throw you and turn this around, but he didn’t. he enjoyed this a little too much, loving the feeling of being taken care of.
you both were left on your under garments except him having his tie on
he looked so hot having his tie rest on his smooth and hard muscles, his abs and pecs shining from the moonlight.
you continued grinding on him until he held your hips to stop.
“let me have you first please” he sighed as he laid you down on the bed as he knelt on the ground facing your crotch.
he looked at you as if he was asking if he could remove it and you nodded back at him.
his blonde hair a bit messy as you caressed it and tugging while he was removing your underwear
his face getting closer to your heat as he started kissing on your thighs slowly.
his lips then met with your clit as he sucked slowly then proceeding to lap on your entrance already making it soaking than it already was.
his tongue bending slightly when met with the entrance teasing it and slowly stretching it.
his right hand caressing around your waist as the left one kept it on your thigh refraining it from moving.
his fingers slowly worked his mouth as he slowly dipped one into your hole.
his finger was thick, 2 of your fingers were your frequently used ones, but his reached so much deeper, felt so fuller.
he hummed against your clit as vibrations flooded through your veins. he added another finger making you writhe and pull on his hair more.
you pulled him up kissing his plump lips before making him lay down on the bed.
you held his hands as you put it above his head, you weren’t intending to restrain them at all.
his biceps protruding so well when you raised it keeping it there as you licked and sucked on his neck slowly removing his boxers.
you wanted to cum with him tonight.
his eyes went dark seeing his large dick lining up to your entrance, he wanted you to ride him, he wanted to stare at your beautiful body while you felt pleasure because of him.
"no condom?" he asked heavily, he wanted it, he wanted this, but he also wants to make sure that you're doing what you desire, not wanting to make regrets again.
"i don't care, fill me up, make me pregnant" you said in a daze, but even without the lust you had right now, you still would say yes.
"fuck" he groaned hearing your words
his length standing tall, he was already so girthy, his tip leaking red.
he wanted to feel pleasure with you, not just sitting there like some fuck doll.
you lined the tip with your entrance as you slowly sunk down already feeling an enormous stretch.
"god your cock is so big" you moaned as you rested your head by his neck sucking there to distract yourself from the slight pain.
his hands went down to your waist as he pushed you further, taking him all in.
he was sent to paradise with your walls crashing to his length, engulfing it in its warmth
"your pussy was made just for me, love" he groaned as his hands guided your waist to ride him.
you were releasing moans as you rode him, it's as if he was still getting bigger inside you.
you then leaned back to your position staring at him with his tie, he looked so hot with his abs clenching every time you squeeze his dick, and how his sweat made it look like he was glowing.
he was laying back with the most drunk in lust face he got as he bit his lower lip just staring at you bouncing at him.
every curve of him filled you even more hitting the right spots that led you to your high in a few more moments.
you both released at the same time, but cheol was far from over with you
he flipped you around entering you in a missionary position, he was truly strong as he pumped himself in you with a new found energy hitting even deeper than before.
he caressed the bump his dick made deep on your stomach.
he made a guttural moan just by the thought of you being able to carry his children by the very belly he's fucking oblivion to.
you pulled onto his tie causing it to tighten a bit that he moaned. you kissed him sloppily as your saliva mixed and dripped to the side of your chin.
he went down leaving marks on your delicate skin, already having red marks on your neck, he made sure to give your tits some love.
he sucked onto your left one and massaged the one on your right, continuously flicking it. his other hand made its way to massage your clit, which made your back arch and scream his name.
"fuck seungcheol" you moaned
"seungcheol? i thought you called me cheollie" he smiled at you with a shit eating grin
you could barely even give a response, you were simply brain dead from all the pleasure you had.
his pace going faster and faster as massaged your clit to a higher intensity, you both were sent over the edge for the second time tonight.
he slowly removed his length, as your hole felt the emptiness you groaned. your mixed arousal slipping out of your pussy as cheol just stared at it.
he inserted two fingers fucking the cum back into her, you moaned at overstimulation, he continued fucking you with his fingers.
"aren't you doing too much mr. choi?" you glared at seungcheol.
"gonna make sure you keep all of it" he said as she shakes his head giggling.
you pulled him down onto the bed as you sat up stuffing your underwear in his mouth making him moan out loud.
"your turn?" you grinned.
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i felt like i could do better :") im sorry if this is bad.
taglist <3
@luchiet @sebongmochi @yawnseu @christinewithluv @musingsofananxiouspotato @raggedypansexual @90s-belladonna @nerdycheol @xcynthiaaa @inexistent-bluemind @jenoxygen @i-dont-give-a-fok @nmosyne @sleepzyy @justanarchiveforfics @springdaybreaks @k07-1313 @dunixxd
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gachaparadise · 2 years
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I was watching a video comparing vocaloid originals to the psekai covers and damn girl... most of these are blown completely out of the water by the originals huh
(the tags got so long sorry lmao. i'm sure the game's great i'm just such a hater when it comes to vocaloid covers specifically cause i'm spoiled for choice orz)
#maybe this is a bad comparison#because a lot of the really popular vocaloid songs have been covered to death already#so everytime i see the psekai covers i'm just mentally comparing not only to the original but to other covers i've heard#and the psekai ones just... do not stack up#that ghost rule cover 😬 yikes dude#maybe it's a matter of i DO NOT like that black haired girl's voice like at all#she's fine i'm sure the va is very talented but she just... isn't to my taste lets say#post: chatter#i'm typing this as i watch and i gotta say! now that the video is getting to other bands i'm feeling for charitable#*more#i think i just really didn't like her voice orz#the cover of Vampire was actually pretty good#and I like the guys their voices appeal to me#oh! the pomp and circumstance cover is SO good i do love that#Also! i think changing solos into group covers makes them weaker in a lot of cases the harmonies just don't ADD anything#oh no... oh girl that gimme gimme cover... actually painful#another thing! i think the tuning of the Synths is pretty weak in a lot of cases they sound REALLY robotic and fake#which is fine and works in a lot of songs but when they're singing with human singers its really jarring and a little unpleasant#oh god... the king cover... it's like totally a fine and serviceable cover but i can literally list at least 5 i like more#its very generic is a sea of fantastic king covers#so far though! the ones by the circus themed band are my favourites#i keep needing to pick out certain covers i didn't like sorry for being a hater lmao#the Bocca della Verita cover is aggressively okay the vocalist REALLY doesn't have a strong enough voice to pull that off#shes competing with Towa and Ado in my head so like... it's NO contest i'm sorry#Towa's cover is very much the definitive version of that song for me#the Ussewa cover is surprisingly good! actually impressed with that one
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nekassvariigs · 1 year
Text
Intentionally calling them husband in scenarios, heres how it goes
part two
Luffy, Sabo, Katakuri, Zoro, Sanji ,Smoker, Roger, Shanks, Eustass Kid
part three will feature Robin, Whitebeard, Marco, Ben Beckmann, Franky, Brook, Mihawk.
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Luffy
Save him please someone.
"Argh i refuse!" he'd snarl pointy teeth showing as he yells.
''But Luffy, you'd be a great husband." you protest making him only more irritated.
"I'm not marrying anyone!'' he slaps his hands on the table, steam blowing form his nose, you pout a little with this fake facade.
You walk over to the kitchen taking out a well cooked meat dish. ''Here i made something for you."
His nose is like a hounds when it comes to meat. "Wacha got there." he's already clanking forks against the table as you set it in front of him.
"If you eat this, you'll be my husband."
He completely ignores your joke, dropping forks aside he takes the food with his hands, chewing the delicious meal.
"So good! Oi Y/n ,I want more, moreee!" he'd whine not even finishing the first set his eyes sparkling wide as he looks at you.
''Oh whatever." you completely lose against him, his obliviousness compares with no one when it comes to this.
He thanks you for the food, licking his mouth from the crumbs, you show him another one.
''Shishishi" he cackles loudly and before you notice the food is long gone.
"Luffy!'' you shout watching him swallow quickly, you're left defeated.
''At least enjoy it you ape.." you wail silently watching him brisk past you.
''Maybe I should consider, aah who knows, but the food is too good.'' he speaks to himself arms behind his head and a large smile.
If you haven't ever experienced a Boa Hancock moment now you understand what it is about.
Sabo
''Isn't this a little sudden?'' he asks.
The two of you lying on the couch whilst watching a movie, not that the movie was bad but somehow Sabo started talking about random things trying to get to know a bit more of your mind until the topic game to be about marriage, you asked him what he thought about being called husband and this was his response.
"Were not getting married Sabo, it's just a question, what do you think?'' his arm pulled back a little from holding onto you , his elbow rested on the couch, hand still on your back he traced light circles.
''Well putting it this way.." he looked in thought his blonde hair falling over his eyes you couldn't help to brush it away, his gaze softly falling on you he smiled into the touch.
"I don't hate it, matter of fact, im open to it."
"Really?''
"Yeah, I mean you've called me D-"
"Ah shut up." You covered his mouth the apples of his cheeks growing as he gently bit into your palm.
You blushed a little, man this guy can be such a tease sometimes.
He pulled your hand away from his mouth, continuing.
"Well, do it." He smiled, his blue eyes flickering form the movie that flashed by beside you two.
''You're my husband." you stated shyly blinking many times as you watched him clench his heart.
"Oh this hits right in the feels." he faked pain falling over onto your lap.
You laughed at his antics, if there's anyone that can difuse the feeling of embarrassment faster its this guy. He laid back on your lap, your hand wandering lazily in his hair, you smiled at him.
His hand reached over to your cheek he pulled you forward, his nose gently rubbing against yours he pressed a lingering kiss.
Katakuri
He's a rather secluded person so you mainly hanged out around his sister, Brulee was the sweetest older sister you could ask for always offering you tea and sweets her genuine heart never wavering. You two had an ongoing joke about her brother the two of you kept codenaming him ''husband'' so your conversations would usually go with her staring a conversation like this. "So y/n, how's the husband?" she chuckled her smile lighting up the room. "He's a delight really we went shopping the other day and let me tell you how hard it is to find something that he'd even remotely hate, he loves everything! I'm starting to think it's impossible to make him mad.'' you sighed, not that you had real intentions of getting the big giant mad, you just wanted to see if he'd ever change his character, no matter how long you were at the store trying on every piece of clothing to waste time, he sat patiently the large scarf covering his mouth he always waited for you with a warm smile giving his opinions on the outfits. Brulee smirked '' He's a very kind person so even I cant see him being unsupportive."
"I know right, its like everything he does always turns out to be even better than he intended!" you flailed your arms a slight frown forming on your brows. The door peered open a rather tall figure coming through he welcomed himself in with a smile, setting some sweet buns on the table, they steamed with a gnetle delicious scent of sesame , rice and hints of familiar mango filling.
"Thank you dear." you smiled to the man as he stepped forth to take off the large scarft, his pointy teeth always caught your gaze.
you continued your conversation with brulee,katakuri sitting by your side as he bit into the sweet bun.
The two of you kept speaking about a certain husband and he for the life of him couldnt understand to who were you reffering to with such familiarity.
''Who are you two talking about?'' he chewed the sweet looking between you two.
"You.'' you quickly replied continiuing your conversation with his sister until she stopped her eyes wide as she looked at you.
You had a quizzical expression on your face and then it clicked, your face flared up red with brulee watching the sweetest smile on her face, you avoided looking at katakuri to save your life.
No need to worry, the large man was barely able to continue eating his desert, a humble red spread over his ears he pinched the bridge of his nose for the longest time. It was for the longest time he thought you were talking about someone else every time you chatted with his sister he thought you were chatting about another man you had spotted wandering onto the island. Now it made sense to him, the words repeating in his mind he groaned setting the pastry on the table, he never pictured himself to be called that , he was barely able to get used to boyfriend so you tended to switch it up very often.
You cleared your throat watching the fluster on his face , your hand reached over to take his , you were met with a comfortable squeeze.
"You two will be the death of me." he sighed a large toothy grin over his face. The two of you were left a laughing mess offering him some tea as an apology for the long confusion along with the sudden surprise.
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Zoro
He asked for you to sit on his back while he was working out, you hesitated at first thinking that he's going a little too far, he reassured you there's nothing to be afraid of as he can easily sling over 100 kgs without ease.
''If you say so.." He steadied himself into a plank waiting for you to find a comfortable place over him.
"Ready?"
''Yep." you popped the p feeling your balance loose itself as you held onto waist each time he neared the ground.
You couldn't hold your amusement, he was way stronger than you imagined, your weight seemed to barely affect him as he did his push ups with ease. ''15..16..17.." you counted in your mind your but flat against his lower back.
"Have you asked anyone else to do this while you train?'' you had to know, there's no way he'd be so comfortable with a whole human on his back like this.
"Yeah, I asked," he panted between pushes, you could feel each time his body took an inhale of breath. "Luffy, but he's so light it wasn't even a challenge." sweat dripped down his forehead onto the ground before him creating a little array of a puddle.
"Anyone else?''
He took his time answering this time focusing on his form before he spoke up again, the silence was pleasant, although you were a little worried reminding yourself as you rode on his back that he was still training.
" I think I asked Usopp after that, though he wasn't better than Luffy."
He breathed a little heavier taking some time to stop between curls, to steady his breathing.
"You alright? I can hop off if it's too much." you wondered not wanting for him to collapse with extra weight on him.
"Stay, you're good." he continued with a regained sense of will, crushing through the next 50 push ups.
You grew comfortable on his back having adjusted to the rhythm.
Your hands slid lower on his waist as you lowered your back against his, your concentrated weight now laying flat over him, your head on the back on his neck, just enough so it wouldn't bother him.
He puffed heavier reaching triple digits, his muscles slowly grew sore but he pushed through with a slight sense to impress you.
''Y/n , you up there? Is Zoro with you?'' Chopper asked under the stairs you responded loudly.
''Yep, my hubby's right here!'' there was a quick silence as Zoro's eyes widened under you, not that you could see.
''Okaay! Dinners gonna be ready soon!'' he informed before walking to do help out.
The weight shifted under you, his hand held you in place, as you leaned slightly to his right, he was doing single handed push ups.
"Hey, don't you think that's a bit extreme?'' you told him, as he continued to meet ground confidently.
''Nah." His hand held comfortably on your waist a while longer until he switched sides, the name lingering in his mind. A while later he was dripping wet, you could feel your own shirt soaking in his sweat he gestured you to hop off.
''Here." you handed him some water, he turned to his side his face not meeting yours he drank, chest rising with each sip you admired his well toned back with a silent whistle.
It surprised him, the feeling of your eyes on him made him a little shy, hince the reason he refused to turn around for so long.
You walked up to him, head leaning over his shoulders to have a look at his face. He had spaced out for a bit , a blush covering his upper face you smiled in awe.
''Yeoow, Tell your hubby to move it! Foods done!" you heard Franky call for you, Zoro's face eyes twitching at the mention of this nickname.
Your smile grew wider as you poked his face.
''Were you pulling those stunts because of me?'' you smirked making his eyes open to look at you with the blush on his face still wildly present.
"No.." he spoke softly, his crossed arms unwinding he slipped one around your waist with a serious yet pleading look.
''Don't tell anyone.." you chuckled silently at his words, resting your head on his shoulder.
''Come on, food will get cold.'' he guided you to head down, following closely as everyone greeted you.
During dinner you gave him a look, mouthing the nickname again, he ate his food not saying anything, the tips of his ears were red no matter how much he tried to deny it.
He liked the nickname despite the silence.
Sanji
''Sanji, come here a moment." You ushered the sweetheart over, he waltzed towards you with his signature spin stopping behind you to peer over what you were looking for.
A bunch of jewelry, shining red white, pink and blue all sorts of jewels shined under the display lights. "What's up? Do you need money?''
''Hmm no, give me your hand." you vaguely looked at his hand, his slim fingers flexing before you, a trail of smoke winding in the air.
You offered his hand to the jeweler he took measurements of his ring finger, whilst Sanji watched, if this was an idea for a gift this was the worst way to ask for a ring size, he could of just told you if you asked.
''8.5 centimeters miss." The shop keep informed you of the size.
''Thought as much, could i see the rings over there?'' you pointed under the display, Sanji curiously watching over your shoulder like a cat.
"Of course, for gifts we suggest these as they aren't that flashy and will accentuate the hands well." He smiled pulling out a ring form its holdings handing it over to you.
You turned Sanji's hand so his palm would face you your warm hand meeting with his rather cold and meek one.
"What's wrong Sanji? Your hands are cold." you asked watching him puff smoke in the shapes of hearts, his cheeks a brisk red.
"Hm? Oh I didn't think you'd be the type to buy men jewelry.'' He watched as you slipped the ring on his finger, a slim silver band sitting low on his finger it looked rather pretty but a little too slim for him.
You took it off clasping the metal you handed over it the shop keep.
"How about this one?'' you showed to a thicker ring, the polish on it shining beautifully.
"Good choice miss." he commented handing you the ring.
You took the cigarette from Sanjis lips between your middle and pointer finger holding the ring in your thumb and ring finger you slipped it on taking a slow drag from the white wrapped cigarette.
Sanji watched with deep curiosity, he loved when you did these subtle yet intimate things, his heart beat with a deep flame as he watched you puff out a streak of grey smoke. His lower lip slightly trembling at the sight.
"What do you think?'' You spoke calmly watching him gulp as his eyes wandered to the ring, he twirled it around with his thumb checking if it wasn't going to bother him whilst he was cooking.
''It's good, won't bother me if I wear it for a long time." You smiled taking on another drag of his cigarette. A pleasant smirk laying on your features as you thought about what you're going to say next.
''This isn't typically a thing to take off Sanji." you smiled brushing a hand over his cheek, the lit cigarette dangerously close to his face, protected by your hand.
His heart dropped at the mention.
''She doesn't m-mean.." he thought to himself. Your confident yet seductive gaze at him only confirmed his thoughts, he swallowed slowly, his face plastered in a red blush, you laughed.
''Is this a prop-proposal!?'' his eyes beat out of his face he practically shouted in the most excited way.
You chuckled sweetly, the shop keep blushing at the sight of you two.
''Well take this one then" You smiled handing him money. Your gaze towards Sanji you put a hand on his shoulder whispering.
''I might as well make you a husband, dear.''
Oh boy.. the red that ripped down his nose way quite something, you handed him a hanker chief dropping the cigarette on the nearby ashtray the shop keep kept, you laced your hand with his walking out the shop Sanji followed with a light stumble every now and then walking a few steps behind you as you lead him. His head was so ready to burst with all the imagines of the two of you holding a ceremony rose petals flying and everything.
''My those two are something." the shop keep chuckled watching an overly flustered male leave with his sweetheart in hand.
Smoker
Word seemed to get around around you and the cloudy vice admiral, because of his strict work nature and your dedication people started calling you the type to be married only to two things each other and work, the two of you never met much aside from when it was time to deliver some justice, men practically fangirled when the two of you appeared fighting along each other.
''What's wrong with all of you, there's work to be done!'' Smoker shouted to his underlings as you walked beside him.
''There she is, aren't they the best.." the guys swooned as you stood hands on your hips along Smoker, his cigars burning weak smoke you offered him a light, his face leaning to the fire you provided the guys waited in anticipation for something to happen.
''Got a problem guys?'' you smiled meanly, Smoker puffing on his cigars to light them fully.
''None at all!!'' they all waved their hands with sheepish smiles.
''This is getting a little out of hand.." he looked at you smoke puffing from his face.
''You don't say." you laughed, something you did only around him according to every fanboy out there.
''Look look she's smiling again'' they blushed, a vein popping on Smokers face from this foolery.
''Go do something you idiots!" he knew the rookies had nothing better to do but it beat oogling at you two every second they could.
'' I'm going to HQ if you need something you know where to find me." with the use of his devil fruit and a long streak of smoke he disappeared from your sights.
You chuckled closing the door to his office with your body, Smokers head deep into his papers.
"It's crazy out there." you stood there hand's behind your back as you leaned on the door. Smoker hummed listening to you. ''You don't think we should do something about this?'' you walked over to his desk sitting across him, the single cigar set down in the ash tray he finally pulled his head out of the mountains of papers before him.
''Why should we? It does nothing for us." he stated slicking back his hair you squinted at the sight.
"You enjoy being my fictitious husband that much?" you smiled watching his eyes slowly running over you face, a little shit eating grin plastered on your face, you subsided it once you saw his cheeks redden a little as he resumed his smoke hiding the embarrassment.
"You're kidding right?!'' he winced closing his eyes , a hand clenching under the desk. Just dont laugh, it wasn't supposed to come off this way, but there was no better way for him to answer.
''..'' He was silent as he opened his eyes staring at you through his brows.
It was your turn to return the blush, as you laid back on the chair placing a cold towel over your forehead.
''Those brats..'' you sighed pinching the bridge of your nose you rose your head letting the towel fall to your lap.
Once his work was done he decided to treat you to some tea in the lounge, the two of you passed by a couple of marines on your way, you calmly took his hand in your watching as one spit water behind you, you turned your head looking at them with a knowing smile. Smokers eyes glancing over at your hand he picked up the pace dragging you along a bit faster, you laughed turning your face back to the blushy vice admiral.
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Eustass Kid
You watched as Kid toyed around his arm, tightening bolts and sautering wires it looked surreal to just think how it operated.
"Kid what do you think about marriage." you asked him out of the blue never approaching this topic with him before. The mean look on his face grew as he barked at you. " What marriage?! It's annoying to just think about it." Whilst true he had a lot on his plate in the current situation, he wanted to beat Kaido for beating his ass so badly the dumbest of reds showed on his face as he threw some bolts at you making you hide behind a flipped table.
"Get out, you're annoying!'' He puffed slamming his fist on the table, bolts creaking on his arm as he attempted to move it.
"Look at what you did!'' You checked his arm watching smoke and sparks come from it you chuckled a bit. ''You can fix that cant you?'' you pointed at it making him growl back, ''Of course, it's gonna take a shit ton of time because of you though." he held a mean glare toward you. ''Okay okay I get it, I'm sorry." you raised your hands in defeat watching him sigh.
'' Don't stand there, you're helping out now." he waited for you to come closer bringing over all sorts of random tools with you, the two of you worked for a long while, trying to fix all the errors you caused.
As much as he kept focusing on his work, his eyes sometimes wandered to your face watching how you inspected his work. The dumb glint in your eyes as you followed his each move broke the silence.
"I guess it can't hurt.." he admitted his ears a little red.
"Hm?'' you turned to took at him while he was avoiding your gaze with a little sweat dropping down his brow.
"Nothing, pay attention." he moved your face with the back of his knuckle, your side eye stared at his preoccupied thought filled expression, with a wide smirk you pushed his hand back with your face, the longer you stared the longer he stiffened up.
"What?'' his clad orange eyes peered down on you.
You smiled not saying a word.
''You'd make the finest fucking husband." you spoke up suddenly staring right at him with a wide smirk.
He rolled his head throwing it back before he snapped at you.
"GET OUT WILL YOU." he threw an oiled cloth at you watching you scatter out of his room with haste.
Hand over his mouth he stared long at his arm, his eyes wide without a sense of reality, the embarrassed blush covering his face he could no longer work on the repairs.
Shanks
''Hubby am i right on this ?" You were bickering with Ben for the longest time, the stubborn first mate would not bend under your will even if you bribed him with millions.
Shanks turned around with a cheeky look on his face he overheard the entirety of the conversation between you two, you were in the wrong however he wanted to mess around with something else first.
"Hubby?'' he asked whipping around the bar stool one leg over the other he laid his hand behind the counter in a rather confidant way.
"Come on Shanks who's right.'' you blurted out continuing to one over Ben whos scowl only grew the longer you didn't agree with him.
He watched with a glimmer in his eyes calling out your name.
"Hubby~" he smirked watching as you processed the information.
''Argh what the hell! Yes Ben your point is right! Shanks youre dead!" you stormed forward to the captian pinching his nose.
"I call you one silly nickname and you dont leave it alone." you scolded him watching him stifle a laugh as he pushed you to his side with his only arm.
You didn't look him in the face knowing he'd give you a shit eating grin.
"Let go!'' you peeled at his hands , his grip strong as he got in your face with a whisper.
"I refuse~" the gravel in his tone, along the way he looked at you, it was only a matter of time before you shot him a glance.
You looked over at him quickly regretting that instantly.
"There you are." the sultry tone in his voice never leaving as he leaned in his lips hovering just above yours, barely a touch.
He waits for you, with a small smile tugging on his lips. He was pleasantly surprised when you tugged on his collar a rather harsh kiss deepening against his.
Roger
You brought up the topic suddenly the hearty laugh form him was as much as when you did your usual babbling with him.
"Husband, me?'' he snorted between baited breaths.
You felt a little dumb standing in front of him as he laughed his large hat tipping on his head.
'Never hurts to try something once now does it?" He showed you a warm smile once his laughter stopped, you didn't expect him to be so agreeable to something like this.
''I cant figure out if you're serious or joking." you pouted as he guided you to the end of his ship.
''If you want the world, I'll get it for you.'' he clenched his first around thin air, right along your chest as he leaned into hug your shoulder, a bewildered stare darting between his face and hand you didn't even think about the possibility.
"I can't bring you a big ceremony, but if you want the life of a wanted criminal on your hands I can't go denying yours dreams now can I?''
''Guys prepare for a celebration!'' he shouted over his shoulder, every man standing at a halt.
''Your captains getting married!'' he wasted no time jumping assumptions.
"R-Roger wait, now?!'' you pushed a hand on his chest which he took into his with a knowing look.
"No time like the present no?'' He smirked, his teeth flashing in the bright sun.
He didn't even take time to consider something like this...
''I thought it over don't be stupid." Its like he read your mind, he pointed to his crew gazing down at you.
"They're a handful, but take care of them will you?"
"Like that's new.." you chuckled, still baffled by his words.
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