#''clearly you're not in a position to care for another living thing'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ordowrites · 24 days

Text

Of Archery and Apples

cw: smut, slow burn, arranged marriage, afab reader, minors dni, mdni. reader is mentioned to have an abusive family, but nothing shown. fluff, gentle sex, not sfw. diluc frequently asking for consent. reader has a vision. please let me know if i'm missing a warning!

word count: 6,509

notes: this is a pretty long slow burn and build up, so be warned!! this is also unbeta'ed. this also gets pretty fluffy at the end.

diluc birthday month!!

He's avoiding you, you can say this for certain - he was barely present at your wedding ceremony, only staying until it was socially acceptable to hurry off, politely engaging in conversation here and there, and his kiss was simply a quick peck on the lips. Of course, the vows were very basic and quick but you figured it's because he's not exactly the best at words.

The business man being terrible at social engagement is quite the entertaining thought, or well, you would normally think so if this wasn't you trying to navigate this new marriage. You'd known Diluc Ragnvindr in your childhood, the two of you had exchanged a whole handful of words but you remember very clearly how social he'd been back then. You remember him, very clearly, sneaking some living frogs into a maid's pockets at some social event with his adoptive brother glued to his side. And you also remember how much chaos it had caused - expensive red wine being spilled, some screams, and you - little old you - had managed to sneak a sip of wine amidst it all. His father, Crepus Ragnvindr, had to pull both his sons aside, while apologizing profusely and Diluc sobbing his eyes out over getting caught.

The other few times you remember of him was when he'd been in the Knights of Favonious - chivalrous, well loved, everyone talked about him with pride in their voices. "Mondstadt's Pride and Joy'', is what they'd call him - he was sure to take the Grandmaster's job once Varka grew too old for his position and nobody would fight nor question it.

You two had talked during that time, exchanging names and he'd given you some flowers because you'd looked lonely and "everyone deserves flowers!" You'd thanked him, albeit very shyly, avoiding eye contact because the heir of the biggest name in Mondstadt was paying attention to you. (And you barely remember what made you so sad, though you're sure it had to do with one of your fathers outbursts.) A small part of you wonders if he remembers that.

The reasoning for your arranged marriage with him is not lost on you - Ragnvindr is a household anyone would want to be part of, the Young Master was the most eligible and the promise was made between your father and Crepus a long time ago. The two, from what you understand, had been close friends in their youth and worked closely with one another, even if you - personally - never met his sons. Of course, once Crepus had passed - a few months before your own eighteenth birthday - you figured that the arrangement was done and over with, and your mother would cart you off with some older man in another country.

Except, that wasn't the case - three years later and you received an invitation from the Dawn Winery. Diluc was still keeping up his fathers promise, but the two of you hadn't even seen each other in adulthood. And your first meeting after that was uncomfortable and awkward - he'd done his engagement with you, but it was clear that he had no idea how to navigate any of this. (Not like you did, either).

The wedding still happened - you'd begged for it to be small, but your mother does not do things small. And Diluc merely wanted it to be done and over with, and you'd spent your entire wedding day apologizing profusely and him reassuring you that he doesn't really care, the mora doesn't matter.

And now, four months into the marriage, you're still trying to even get a glimpse of your elusive and quiet husband. The two of you don't even share a bedroom, and you often find yourself in a confused haze, wandering around the Winery and vineyard with very little to do. A good wife stays at home, cooks and cleans, but you can't do that because he has maids doing that and they shoo you off if you even try to help. Your embroidery skills have a lot left to be desired and whenever you offer assistance in the vineyard, you're told not to worry about it.

Boredom left you asking the head maid for something to do and Adelinde had given you a few tasks to do, you just had to organize things and that was about it. The manor is well staffed, there isn't much work for you to do, is what she'd told you. Perhaps Master Diluc would like your company.

Oh yes, your dear, beloved husband who seems to be avoiding you. Archons, you'd much rather be working for the Adventurer's Guild. You're proficient in archery because you had begged your mother into letting you learn, it was the only way she could get you to do anything else she'd wanted. Of course, being someone of nobility means that your only job is to be a dutiful spouse who bears children and stays at home, but you're going insane.

What most people don't know about the manor is that he does have a small weapons collection - some swords, a few bows and arrows, his great sword, and other things. You're not sure why he needs this armory, but you'd happened upon it one day in your usual afternoon hauntings of the hallway when staff locked you out of the busier places they'd be. (Of course, you'd be more than happy to receive guests but apparently, that's the Head Maid's job and you feel slightly insulted your husband can't even trust you with the business of the Winery)

With the bow and a few arrows in hand, you meander outside - unnoticed by the staff as they rush around for one reason or another (rumors have it that the Traveler is visiting today or someone equally important) - and find a secluded spot to start shooting.

Place the arrow, draw the string, shoot. Repeat.

You're, by no means, an expert but you like to think you're pretty good. You knock down quite a few apples, but you never aim for animals - you repeat this until your fingers are sore and hurting. Still, you load up the arrow again, point, and -

"What are you doing?"

The voice cuts your concentration and you let out a yelp of surprise, releasing the arrow in a loose and awkward manner.

"Archons! I could have shot you!" You shout as you turn to look at the person who broke your concentration. It takes you a few moments to realize who had approached you, arms crossed over his chest, and an unimpressed look on his face. "Oh, sorry, Master Diluc. I thought you were someone else."

"I didn't know you do archery." He says, hardly acknowledging your words as he steps closer. "You're pretty good."

"Of course I am," you boast. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He considers his words and you frown at him, as if daring him to say anything untoward and awful. "Not a lot of nobles take it upon themselves to become proficient in weaponry," he finally answers. You're pretty sure he's spoken to you more now than he ever has in the entire time you've known each other. "Anyways, Add- Adelinde was calling for you. It's time for dinner."

"Will you be joining?" You ask as you pick up what fallen arrows you could, frowning when you realized that there's no way you could re-use them. At least you have yourself a handful of apples. "Or will you be assisting the Traveler with some things?"

"Ah - well," Diluc seems to be stumbling over his words now. It's as if he's remembering he's married to you, and you're not some familiar stranger who has decided to hunker down in his home. "If I have your okay, I would certainly like to join you for dinner."

You're handing him the apples, and he's taking them into his arms without question. You wonder if you could get away with just...handing him things and if he'd noticed. Because his eyes are trained away from you, at the horizon. His face is a tiny bit red.

"Are you not the master of the house and my husband?" You prompt. "Why would you seek permission to have dinner in your own home, with your own spouse?"

He opens his mouth to say something and closes it again. He doesn't know how to talk to you, you realize.

"What are all these for?" Diluc asks, awkwardly changing the subject.

"You eat them." You answer, as if he doesn't comprehend what apples are for. "Obviously."

He makes a noise that sounds like an annoyed growl but seems to drop the subject as he is a good husband and carries the dozen apples back, just for you.

Dinner is quiet - he's been joining you for dinner nightly now, and every time, it's just quiet. The soft clinking of silverware, and he keeps his head down as if it's hard to look at you. Sometimes, Adelinde whispers something in his ear and he'd have to look up, but not at you.

You think this is worse than eating by yourself. And he's always quick to leave once he's finished, thanking Adelinde and uncomfortably wishing you a good night.

One thing you noticed now, is that you're not without apples since that day. And there's more arrows stocked in his armory.

"Master Diluc thinks they're your favorite fruit," Adelinde explains as you ask her one day. "He ordered quite a bit. I think it's a bit too much for one person to eat, and I can only use them for so many recipes."

"Rumors have it that the Anemo Archon loves apples," you tell her. "Leave 'em out as an offering."

The head maid laughs a bit. "Perhaps. I'm not sure why he won't ask you about the things you do like."

"He'd learn things about me - and I, about him - if he stayed longer than the thirty minutes it takes him to finish his dinner." You say as you inspect one of the red fruits. Bruiseless, perfect, round. And juicy, when you bite into it. (You're sick of snacking on them, but hey, he bought them so you might as well make sure they don't waste away) "I timed him one night." You clarify after a moment.

"Yes, well, the Master is a very busy man." Adelinde says, after a moment. You're unsure if she's displeased with your comments about him - the staff is very loyal to Diluc. Of course they would be, he’s their employer and he treats them way better than most people of his status. You’re pretty sure he pays them pretty well on top of that - considering the servant houses are well constructed and well kept. "It cannot be helped."

"Sure," you simply agree, not wanting to anger the one that is in charge of quite...literally everything in the household that Diluc doesn't oversee. "But perhaps he could make time in his busy schedule for me?"

"One could only hope." Adelinde says. "Perhaps you'd like to entertain yourself with other means?" It's a polite way of kicking you out of her kitchen.

You grab an extra apple and head out. Diluc is in his study - you're surprised that he's stationed himself there. You're even more surprised when he looks up at you.

"You missed breakfast and lunch." you say, after a long stretch of silence. A small part of you wonders if you'd be having children right now if you had a husband who actually wanted to be at your side, instead of carrying an apple in your hand. "Have you eaten?"

Diluc regards you for a moment, before glancing at the small plate with crumbs of some confectionery on it and an empty tea cup.

"...At some point." he says as he looks back down at his papers.

You set the uneaten apple down on his desk.

"We apparently have an overabundance of apples," you inform him with a small smile. "Do your part and eat some then."

Diluc stares at it as if he's never seen an apple before. "Right," he says, after a moment. "Right. Yes. Thank you." The way he says your name sounds lovely but strange, like he's sounding it out. "There's a target range outside."

You quirk a brow and head out.

The target range is simple - it resembles something the Hilichurls would use, but you can at least practice your aim.

Your evening goes quietly - Diluc joins you for dinner again. Tonight it's your favorite meal.

"How come you don't go to Mondstadt anymore?"

Huh? You look at him with surprise.

"Well, I guess...I don't know. Most of my friends are married and have kids or like, moved." Because if you saw your parents, you might cry is the real answer.

"The maids tell me you're bored." You're likely to become the tale of a poltergeist haunting the Ragvnidr mansion, a tale for the children to tell for ages to come. "You can get a job in the city if you'd like. Come work at the Angel's Share."

"With you?"

His face tinges red and he clears his throat. "Maybe."

"How 'bout the Cat's Tail?"

A silence. A grumble.

"If you must." Diluc sounds resigned at the thought - you, however, find yourself wanting to work with the cats at that cute tavern but you wouldn’t actually do that to Diluc, regardless of the current standing you’re both in. You’re not even sure what kind of work you want to do, but bar work doesn’t sound all that great for you (or a match). You decide to let him think you’re willing to work with the competition.

It's in the middle of the night when you're woken up to something - a sound. You've always been a light sleeper and the Manor is always so silent at this hour. There's some shifting, you let out a breath when you feel a familiar but comforting sense of energy around you.

When you fully wake up, you're met with your Vision at your bedside. It flows with familiarity, glowing when you touch it. The Electrical element gives you more energy than you thought you’d ever imagine-

You'd received it in your teens and your mother confiscated it from you. She claimed you had no need for it - someone like you does not deserve it. After all, Visions are only for people who are worthy and who are you to believe you're worthy of such a blessing?

How?

You wonder if Adelinde had quietly dropped it off or if -

Would he? Diluc? The man who can barely stand being in the same room as you? Hardly. Maybe an Archon chose to give it back to you.

With energy that you haven't had in ages, you dress and head down for breakfast. Diluc is there.

"Good morning," he says, barely glancing at you. His face is tinged red again.

"What a lovely surprise," you say. "Truly blessed by the Archons today to see my husband."

He makes a soft 'hmph' sound. "Were you not complaining about never seeing me?"

"I'm glad you came."

Diluc gives no answer.

He heads to Mondstadt Proper, offering you a chance to come along - but you decline. You'd rather practice what you were blessed with. Also, you’re not really up for seeing anybody you know at the moment - you’d rather not field questions on what it’s like to be married to the Diluc Ragnvinidr. Sure, it’s bragging rights but neither of you even share a bed and barely speak to one another as is.

He is back by lunch.

And you are a bit singed - bruised but energetic from practicing with your Electro Vision. It glows at your side.

Diluc looks pleased.

"You seem happier these days." Adelinde says as you enter the kitchen for your daily snack of the never ending abundance of apples. They even taste sweeter. "Have you told the Master to stop ordering these apples for you?"

"I prefer that they become part of our nightmares," you answer her with a small shrug. Adelinde gives you an odd look. "'sides, they're an alright snack."

You snag one extra one and bid her a quick goodbye as you head to Diluc's office. As before, you set the apple down for him to eat.

This time, you stay.

"Is there something you need?"

"Thank you."

"Whatever for?"

So, you gesture to the Vision that hangs at your side. “If you brought this to me, thank you.” Diluc peeks at it and says nothing. “The apples too, but the maids seem displeased with those.” He shifts uncomfortably. “Am I bothering you?”

“No.” he answers, tensely. “I’m just…don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” Silence falls over you, and you look everywhere but at him as he pointedly stares at his desk. “Um-”

“So why are you ordering an over abundance of apples?”

“Do you not like them? I can order something else. Sunseittas, those fruits from Fontaine, anything-”

“N-no, they’re fine.” You force out, interrupting him before Diluc works himself into some sort of anxiety induced panic attack. “They’re perfect, thank you.” You need to learn to put your foot down, but you didn’t want to accidentally upset him and think you hated how kind he was, even if the apples were a bit much. Hopefully Adelinde will talk to him instead.

–

It's been a week since the two of you have last exchanged any sort of conversation or words - the schedule went back to relatively normal. He’s there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner now - sometimes, there’s an uncomfortable invitation for tea and no conversation to flow with it. You find yourself wondering if Diluc even knows what he wants at this point, even when you try to better engage with him, he seems to barely meet your eyes this days and barely responds so you tend to dominate the conversation.

“Is something wrong, Diluc?” you finally ask, during afternoon tea, one day. He’d barely touched his own tea and his eyes lowered with shame on his beautiful face. “Did something happen?”

“No,” he says, after a moment and clears his throat. “My apologies, I was daydreaming, that’s all.”

“About me?” You tease, unable to help the fact you noticed how he looked at you earlier - with this strange look of longing and hunger. But he always acts as if there is a barrier between the two of one, and if he broke that barrier…of what might happen afterwards. You have to swallow a giggle when his face goes redder and he looks away. “Wait - really?”

“M-my apologies. It seems I have some important matters to get to.”

Now it’s your turn to be red faced and shying away - watching as Diluc walks away before you can muster up the bravery to call out to him to come back.

What a great start to your marriage, you think sarcastically as you wander the halls again - confused as to what to do. It’s been what, two months? Since the two of you got married now. Something like that, and what looked like behavior starting to change for the better, was now becoming a problem again. You let out a heavy sigh and sit down on a bench in the garden, burying your face in your hands. Maybe this marriage really is a sham - maybe you could get a divorce, no harm, no foul. Nobody would blame you for that, right? Or him.

You do not go down for dinner that night - feeling way too humiliated over what had happened between the two of you. It takes a week to be brave enough to be in the same vicinity as him, or well, you would be but your husband isn’t anywhere to be seen. With a sigh, you decide to venture out on your own for a while, armed with the wooden bow that’s intended more for practice than actual self defense and some arrows. It isn’t like there are any hilichurls or treasure hoarders who linger nearby or even in the vicinity of the Dawn Winery.

As you wander along the shore of the riverbank behind the Winery, you find yourself lost in your own thoughts - puzzling together the enigma that is your husband. He avoids you sometimes, and a lot of the time, doesn’t seem to know what to do with you, as if he’s surprised you’re there whenever he sees you. You know you can be pretty shy, but this man takes it to another level. You know Diluc had suffered a tragic loss or two, and you know he can be pretty closed off and rough around the edges, but this feels just ridiculous.

You pluck flowers as you go along - Calla Lily’s, Lamp Grass, really, whatever catches your eye. You figure you could spruce up your room some with decorations, now that it’s been bare for close to five months. It’s not as if you’re forbidden from decorating, it’s just that you haven’t felt like it just in case something happened within your marriage that would ruin that time and effort.

When dusk hits the horizon, you finally force yourself to trek back to the manor, flowers in one hand, your makeshift weapon in the other. As the manor appears in your sights, you decide you won’t go inside just yet - though you’re sure everyone is worried about your disappearance, you don’t particularly care right now.

Diluc is sitting on a stone bench in the garden, his eyes downcast and a small frown on his face and you stop dead in your tracks. You can’t help but think of how beautiful he looks with the sun setting behind him, casting soft hues on his face, his red hair down and waving with the soft winds. Beautiful but sad.

“Hey.” you greet, finally catching his attention.

“Where have you been?” he asks, quickly getting to his feet. “You left and you didn’t say anything to anyone, I thought you were hurt!”

“Sorry, Master Diluc,” you say, sheepishly. “I just went for a walk and lost track of time.” Diluc reaches out, as if he wants to touch you and hug you but withdraws just as quickly. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry, I should have said something.”

You hold the flowers you had plucked from your impromptu adventure.

“Some flowers because everyone deserves flowers.” You echo something from the past and his beautiful red eyes widen for a moment. “Remember? You said that to me once. So here, some flowers because I think you need some.”

Tentatively, he reaches out, accepting them from your outstretched hand. Your face, you realize, is red and not because it’s sunburned.

“Thank you.” he murmurs. You remember, once, that Adelinde had mentioned he likes Lamp Grass.

–

Diluc puts any flowers you give him in vases that sit in the best spots in the manor - you’d found that he really likes to receive them as gifts, so you go out of your way to find them out in the wild and present them to him like a dog presenting the fruits of its hunt. He always looks much happier when he receives these flowers, and the manor looks a bit better too - the artwork, you always thought was a bit bleak (but never said anything because apparently Master Crepus painted some of them) and the whole place just needs more color.

He stays around now, to talk to you or to be around you even if neither of you talk. It feels normal, like what a normal, married couple would do. But maybe the two of you just aren’t normal - he most certainly isn’t.

Sometimes, Diluc leaves for the city in the evenings and always says that it’s a night shift at the tavern so Charles can have a night off or two. You don’t think much of it, so long as you can actually see your husband more frequently, he still has his job to do.

It’s late, and you haven’t even considered going to bed yet - despite having taken a bath and switching into a nightgown because summer nights in Mondstadt are hot and you’re a bit too absorbed into the book you’d been reading since after dinner time. So, you’re slung on the couch, with a blanket on your lap and legs (sliding off, of course) as you get more and more engrossed in the mystery romance that you’d found in Diluc’s library. The downpour of the rain outside only adds to the ambience and it makes you quite sleepy.

Neither of you were sure when the Master of the house was going to be home, so when it came close to midnight, you insisted that Adelinde head to bed. You’re Diluc’s spouse, after all, you can greet him and take care of him when he gets home. There was a moment where the head maid looked like she was going to argue this with you, but she’d decided against it. It’s about two in the morning when you’re falling asleep, half slipping off the couch yourself when you hear the front door open a bit louder than usual. This startles you from your sleep, and you get up, making your way to see who has the audacity and the bravery to try to break into the manor.

“Diluc?!” you gasp as you rush forward, trying to quell the Electro energy that had been surging in you, ready to attack. He looks like a pathetic wet cat at this moment, hair sopping wet and sticking to his face, clothes just as drenched, his clothes askew and torn, he smells a bit burned. “Are you okay?” Your arm is already snaking around him, and he can’t even look at you. “Archons, you’re warm. C’mon, let’s get you upstairs and in bed.”

“I’m -” he stutters out. Clears his throat. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” You answer, a bit more snappishly than intended. He doesn’t fight you as you help him up the winding staircase and down the hall - into the master bedroom. “What happened?”

“I got caught in the downpour is all.” he says, still unable to meet your gaze. You’re already working to unbutton his shirt to make sure he isn’t injured anywhere that you can’t see. There’s a few bruises and welts forming on his body. “H-hey, I said I’m fine.”

“Why won’t you let me help you?” You ask, pulling away - feeling more hurt and exasperated than you think you should be. “Diluc, I’m your wife and you won’t even look at me.” Despite your words, he’s doing his best to look everywhere but at you. “Diluc, look at me.”

Carefully, he lifts his gaze to yours - his eyes are so enticing. His face is a little bit red, and you think you catch his eyes drifting downward for a moment before meeting your own eyes again.

“What happened?” You prompt.

“I got caught in the downpour.” Diluc answers, simply. “There was a - there was a treasure hoarder lurking outside of Mondstadt’s walls.”

“You got into a fight?”

“Yes, but I’m fine. They aren’t worth much energy or attention.” You sigh and rub your forehead. “It’s just a little bit of rain, I’m honestly more lucky you didn’t try to electrocute me.” It’s an attempt at a joke, one where he’s forcing a smile but you can’t bring yourself to return it. “I…I don’t know what you want me to say or do.”

“As long as you’re okay.” you tell him, finally resigned. “It’s late, we both should go to bed. Um…Adelinde will lose her mind tomorrow when she sees you tracked mud on her clean floors but I’ll take the blame for that.” You bid him a quick good night, turning to leave him to his own devices if he doesn’t actually need your help.

“Hey, wait.” His voice is slightly strained. Your hand is on the brass knob and you look over at him, watching as he gets up and takes a few strides towards you. Before you could ask what he needs, his lips brush up against yours for a brief moment. The kiss is soft and he breaks away after a moment, his thumb caressing your cheek. You tilt your head to the side, trying to comprehend what he just did. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I should have asked.”

“So ask.” You whisper, feeling oddly cheeky.

He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing as he does so. He clears his throat, a nervous habit of his. “Then, may I kiss you again?”

“Yes.” You murmur and he pulls you in for another kiss, this time more certain - needier. You find yourself melting into his touch, leaning against him as the two of you make it back to his bed. Clothes start to scatter around, his skin is weirdly dry to the touch (and you attribute it to his Pyro vision) but lovely anyways. There’s scars all over his body, your eyes rake over the muscle and old injuries, you start to ask him what happened but he stops you with another searing kiss. Tongue in mouth, teeth nipping at your lips. Soon, those lips, that hot mouth, find their way to your neck - biting and sucking.

But he always stops short of going down further, looking at you with hunger, looking unhinged with those red eyes and wild red hair and the soft glow of the candlelight. Your body aches with need.

“I wish to touch you.” he whispers.

“So touch me.” you breathe. That seems to be all he needs for him to remove those damn gloves, tossing them to the side. Teeth graze at a nipple, making you gasp and arch as his hand teases your other nipple. Lips move down further and further, searing kisses with soft bites that follow, and he tries to get every inch of your skin.

“So beautiful,” he breathes and gently bites your hip bone. Diluc kisses the area above your pubic bone, before moving to kiss along your thighs - teeth digging in deeper and he stops his ministrations right before hitting the spot you want him to focus on. Your eyes lock together. Your heart skips a beat when he bends down and presses his lips against your clit, tenderly kissing at your wet cunt and you gasp. His tongue pokes out, giving your slit a curious lick before diving right in.

His lips and tongue work at you as if he were a starving man - the noises that escape you are lewd and embarrassing as he licks and sucks, a finger slowly working at your entrance. You gasp when he presses a finger inside of you - it’s bigger and thicker than your own, and you can’t help but squirm at the intrusion. Much to your dismay, he pulls away from your soaking cunt to look up at you, his face a mess.

“Are you okay?” his voice is raspy and he’s definitely drunk on your pussy. His face is about as red as his hair at this point, he’s panting slightly and oh, he looks more like a demon of temptation than anything sweet or angelic. Want is etched on every bit of his features and your slick shines on his lips.

“Just - ah - unused to the feeling.”

“Mm,” he gives your clit a lick and you gasp, tightening around the appendage that gently presses in a bit further. “Tell me if I hurt you.” At your nod, he dives right back in - and he slowly adds in another finger and you whine, your fingers finding perch in his soft, but soaked hair. He pays that no mind as he starts to move his fingers in and out, slowly stretching you until he curves them upwards and - oh. You see stars.

“Diluc!” You moan out, grinding against him now. “Fuck.” You’re pretty sure he’s probably grinning to himself. He continues to eat you out and fuck you with his fingers until you’ve ridden out your orgasm, and are more of a mess of noises and moans, fingers pulling at his hair.

He pulls away soon enough, and you stare up at him with slight disappointment - your body trembling from your orgasm and the cold air that hits your heated skin. Diluc trails his fingers along your torso, playing with your breasts for a few moments.

“You’re perfect like this.” Diluc murmurs. Unable to properly formulate a reply, all you can do is reach to meet his hands for a brief moment until you find him gripping one of your legs and under your waist, pulling you flush close to him. “Remember to tell me if I hurt you too much.” You nod, watching him give his cock a few pumps, some pre-cum shining at the tip and you can’t help but feel a sense of nervousness. Sure, you’ve had sex with a partner or two before but that still doesn’t alleviate the anticipation or worry, considering his size. “We don’t have to do this.” He tells you, softly.

“I want to.” You murmur. He guides himself to your slick entrance, gently teasing your folds with the head of his cock for a moment, watching in delight as your eyes close and you push yourself closer, trying to encourage him. Once his head penetrates, you can’t help but reach to grip his arm. He shifts, gently pushing himself in, inch by inch, and your hands finally find each other. Soon enough, Diluc’s bottomed out - your legs on either side of his waist as his hands hold yours down on the bed. And oh, you feel so full - stretched out on his cock.

He stays still for a few minutes, peppering your face and neck with kisses as he whispers words of affirmation - before slowly pulling out and pushing back in. He keeps a slow pace at first, watching your face and kissing you whenever you look like you’re about to cry out.

“So wet for me,” he breathes against your ear. “So good for me.” And those words go straight to your cunt, clenching around him. “Look at you, so needy for me.” Archons, you wonder what else you can get him so say in that tone. Maybe even filthier things.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders and you cling as he continues to fuck you - your second orgasm hitting you as hard as your first, this time you let out a shrill sound and a sob, your nails digging into his back. You think you hear him let out a hiss at that, but you don’t care as you dig your teeth into his shoulder to try to muffle your cries. There’s a taste of copper in your mouth so you let go, giving the bite wound an apologetic kiss.

“Mine.” he groans out, pace quickening. “Ah - I’m gonna -” His thrusts become harder, deeper and your legs lock around his waist as he bites and sucks at your throat, leaving hickies in his wake. He groans as he cums, his pace slowing down to shallow thrusts - the wet noises filling the air. Your muscles feel weak as your legs slowly free him, his cock finally slipping out - followed by a mess of his cum. Your arms fall away as well and much like before, his hands find yours as he kisses you, deeply. He shifts a bit so he isn’t caging you.

The kiss breaks, a string of saliva hangs between both your lips and he looks at you with want - like he could easily go another round.

“We should get you cleaned up,” he murmurs, shifting to get up. “Do you need anything?” You reach out, catching his arm before he can actually get up and off the bed.

“Just…lay with me for a while.” Diluc looks at the mess you both made - or well, mostly him - with a sheepish and slightly ashamed look but he lays down next to you. “I just want to be next to you.”

“Okay,” he murmurs and nuzzles the crown of your head. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He’s silent for a moment and you open your eyes. “Diluc, for what?”

“Avoiding you.” There’s some shame in his voice. “I-you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting you but couldn’t have you.”

“And why not?” you prompt as you sit up. “We’re married, aren’t we?”

“Well yes but -” he pauses for a moment, as if thinking. “I figured you hated me or resented me for our…arrangement. I didn’t want to impose.” You stare at Diluc, slightly stunned. “I know I sound ridiculous, but I would have thought you’d be against an arranged marriage. I remember when we were kids and you were telling everyone you’d never get married, that you were going to join the Adventurer’s Guild and become a famous adventurer.”

You snort. “You remember that?”

“Of course I do. You know, we were introduced when we were young, and when father said that the two of us were going to be married, you told him straight to his face that you’d never marry a boy.” Diluc lets out a soft sigh.

You snort back your laughter. “Did that upset you?”

“N-no.” He lets out a soft laugh. “I wish we’d been able to speak more while growing up but…I was busy. I think the last time we actually ever interacted was at some ball or party, you were crying over something and…”

“You gave me flowers.” you finish, quietly. “I remember that very distinctly. Honestly, you made my night way better for that. I’m surprised you remember that moment.”

Diluc frowns at you. “Of course I do. Father actually had a few choice words to your mother about making you cry like that.” He lets out a soft breath. “I actually went off out of the city to find the perfect flowers to give to you in hopes that it’d cheer you up. I…was lucky you hadn’t already left the city when I got back.”

“Thank you, Diluc,” you murmur. “Really.”

A comfortable quiet lapses between the two of you - his fingers stroking your hair. You could fall asleep like this. “If you still want to join the Adventurer’s Guild, I would not be opposed to it.” He finally says, quietly. “Or if you want to work in the city - it isn’t uncommon these days, and I fear your family was a bit too traditionalist in how they raised you.”

“Maybe.” you mumble. “I could work at the Cat’s Tail, give you a bit of trouble.”

He leans down and kisses you on the lips. “I’d much prefer you joining the Guild.” he murmurs against your lips. “I might even have bragging rights if you get better at not breaking my weapons that you get your hands on.”

“Hmm, I’ll consider it.” You curl up close to him, your eyes drooping shut. You feel him relax and rest next to you, his breath warm. “Diluc?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” You feel him kiss the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his hair tickling you as he does.

“I love you too, my flame.”

#diluc x reader #diluc x you #diluc x y/n #genshin x reader #diluc #genshin x y/n #yandere genshin x reader #genshin x you #diluc imagines #ordo.txt #ordo.text

300 notes · View notes

1nyourdr34ms · 3 months

Text

your favourite dude

pairing: jealous bf mark x fem!reader

synopsis: You took care of your best friend Jaehyun and made your lovely boyfriend Mark jealous.

In the warm, lively atmosphere of the university café, surrounded by the gentle murmur of other students and the scent of freshly brewed coffee, Mark and you sat opposite each other at a small, round table. A deep, meaningful silence enveloped you, soaked with unspoken words and suppressed feelings. Your gazes met sporadically, each look a whirlwind of emotions, hanging in the air and remaining intangible. Mark continuously bobbed his legs.

You had argued last night while messaging, when Mark found out that you had cooked for Jaehyun, your best friend, and brought the food to his house. Jaehyun has been very busy lately, so he can't cook for himself, and you came up with the idea to prepare a meal for him as a good friend.

The thought of you taking care of another man drove him crazy. Especially because he knew how good-looking Jaehyun was and how possible it was that you could fall for him at any time. It's not that he didn't believe in friendships between women and men or that he does not trust you. It was just that it was Jaehyun, who is your best friend.

Amidst the café's silence, Mark struggled with his internal conflict, seeking the balance between jealousy and love for you. You were familiar with Mark's insecurities towards Jaehyun - or other men - you remained patient, although internally you fought against the injustice of his distrust.

You leaned forward, your eyes sparkling with impatience and frustration, and broke the silence with sharp words. "Mark, baby, are you just going to stare at me all day or what?" Your tone was sharp, but the slight smile on your lips softened your words.

Mark fixed his gaze on you and let out a deep sigh. "Oh, I apologize," he began with a tone of regret and sarcasm in his voice. "I just thought I could see through you and find out what makes you fucking cook for another man who is not your boyfriend."

You lean back, breathing heavily, and run both hands through your hair, a sign of your growing frustration. "Are you still on this topic? Dude… seriously?" you exclaim. Mark's expression hardens instantly as you call him "Dude." He leans back, fixing you with an intense, almost piercing look. "What the hell… You know I don't like it when you call me 'Dude.'"

You return his gaze in disbelief. "You're always calling me 'Dude,'" you retort in a cold tone. Mark's expression softens slightly. "That's different. That's my way. You know that."

You sigh deeply again and cross your arms in front of your chest. "So?", you ask, obviously not in the mood to respond positively.

"What do you mean 'so?'", Mark replies in shock. "Dude, I know exactly that you never call Jaehyun like that. What was it again? 'Jaehyun, sweetie, how are you? Did you eat well? Should I cook something for you?'" Mark imitates your voice, his sarcasm clearly audible.

You, completely taken aback by Mark's imitation, shake your head in disbelief. "I have never, really never, talked to Jaehyun like that," you reply emphatically, your eyes sparkling with indignation at the exaggerated portrayal of your interaction with Jaehyun.

Mark, determined to defend his point of view, leans forward, his eyes sparkling like fire. "Really? It seems to me that you become a completely different person in his presence. A bit too caring, aren't you?" he sharpens. His words sound sharp and accusatory.

You breathe deeply, visibly frustrated. "How many times do I have to tell you that Jaehyun is an important friend to me? He needed my help, and I was there for him. It's not like I slept with him."

Mark clenched his jaw, pressing his teeth together, visibly upset. "Hell, of course, you didn't. Watch your language," he hisses.

"Babe, what's the problem? I cook more for you than for him. It was just a one-time thing that I did for Jaehyun after so many years. Can we please end this topic now?" you ask, hoping to end the argument.

Mark takes a deep breath, his eyes still firmly on you, his posture tense – a clear sign that he is not yet ready to give in. "The problem, y/n, is not the cooking itself," he explains. "It's the way you did it. The time you invest, the attention you give him. I understand that he is an important friend to you, but sometimes… sometimes it feels like I'm the one who is being neglected, man."

His voice sounds less sarcastic but still filled with frustration and insecurity. "I know it sounds silly, but… it's these little things that make me insecure. I see how you treat him, and wonder why you don't show me the same care and attention. It's not about cooking… It's about feeling like I'm your second choice sometimes."

Mark looks away, as if he couldn't look you directly in the eyes while revealing his deepest feelings. "Jesus, I don't want to be the guy who is always jealous or tells you what to do. But I can't just turn off my feelings either. It drives me crazy to see you taking care of another man who isn't me. I wish you would devote all your attention to me."

So that's what it was all about the whole time. How can he think he doesn't have your full attention? If only he knew how often you think of him day and night… You roll your eyes playfully and smile. "You're such a baby, you know that?"

Mark relaxes slightly and lowers his head. "A baby… yeah, maybe I'm a baby for you, y/n. But can't you just be my baby too?"

You observe him for a moment, your eyes reflecting a mix of affection and thoughtfulness. Sometimes you wonder how you managed to have such a man in your life who can put you on an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes he's as sweet as sugar, and sometimes as hot as fire.

You take Mark's hand and hold it firmly. "Markie, I belong to you, and I always have. Jaehyun is a good friend, but that's all he is – a friend. You are the one I love, with whom I want to spend my time. You are my boyfriend, my lover, my baby, and my favorite dude."

Mark grins at that. "So, um… I'm your favorite person?"

"Of course, you are. You're everything I need. I don't want you to feel like my second choice. You've always been my first choice, babe. But I can't stop being a good friend to Jaehyun just because you're insecure."

Mark looks at you thoughtfully for a moment before a mischievous smile plays around his lips. "I'm still thinking about how you called me your favorite person." You giggle. "That's right. You're the best dude."

Mark rolls his tongue. "Babe. Please. Anything… say, um… I'm the best, manliest, hottest boyfriend. Anything, but dude." You roll your eyes playfully. "You're the biggest baby, that's for sure." Mark squeezes your hands tighter and pulls to him. "I still feel like I need to try harder so you don't forget who you belong to when you're with Jaehyun."

You laugh softly. "Baby, you don't have to worry about trying harder. You've already conquered me, and quite thoroughly. And as for the manliest, hottest, and best – you win in all categories. But the biggest baby? Maybe you have competition there," you add jokingly.

Mark struggles not to roll his eyes, knowing that Jaehyun is again meant by that. "Well, I'll try to be even better in each of these categories. Even in being a baby, if necessary," he replies with a mischievous smile. "But I will especially focus on being the best and only man in your life. I will make sure you have no reason to turn your attention away from me."

You smile broadly, your eyes sparkling with pleasure at Mark's charming words. "The only thing you need to get better at is realizing how irresistible you already are." Your voice is soft, almost a whisper, as you look deeply into his eyes. It's almost as if you had forgotten that you were in the university café.

Mark, visibly pleased by your words, closes the short distance between you and whispers back: "And you have to stop making me so crazy about you." He kisses you gently, his hand sliding along your cheek as he speaks. "I'll make sure you never doubt for a moment that I'm the only choice for you."

You laugh softly and pull back a little to look into his eyes. You give him a warning look. "Shh, Markie… not in front of all these people," you whisper jokingly.

Mark raises an eyebrow, and his smile widens as he notices your warning look. "Oh, y/n, you know I can barely hold back when you're this close." His voice is soft and full of promises. "But don't worry, I'll restrain myself… at least until we're alone. Then, you'll see that I'm not just your 'baby.'"

You smile shyly until your phone rings. You look at the display and see Jaehyun's name. Mark sighs loudly. "Please don't answer," he whines, dropping his head onto your shoulder.

You put your phone back in your pocket. "What was that about being a 'baby' again?" you ask teasingly. Mark lifts his head from your shoulder and looks at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Okay, okay, I admit, sometimes I'm a bit overprotective. But dude, I can't deny that it drives me a little crazy when this guy calls exactly now, while we're having a beautiful moment."

His voice is playful, but also a bit vulnerable. You look at him warningly because of the way he talks about Jaehyun. "Language," you warn. Mark nods and laughs softly in response to your warning tone. "Dang, sorry, you're right. I shouldn't talk like that." He looks at you with a reconciling expression. "I promise I'll try to be cooler about Jaehyun. But it's not easy, you know? You're just too stunning for me, and I don't want to share you."

You can't help but giggle and gently place your hand on Mark's cheek. "You're so cute when you're jealous. Don't worry baby, I only have eyes for you." You lean in and give him a gentle kiss on his lips. "And I promise you.. for the rest of the day.. I'll show you that I belong to you.. fully and completely."

Mark gently returns the kiss and smiles contentedly. "That's all I wanted to hear, y/n. Sorry that I've been a bit jealous lately."

You tilt your head slightly to the side, your eyes full of playful glee directed at Mark. "Just a tiny bit? You're so adorable, Markie," you say with a mischievous smile. Gently, you press your lips to his. Mark returns the kiss with heartfelt intensity, his gaze deep in your eyes. "You know exactly how to make me melt," he whispers lovingly, while gently leaning his forehead against yours.

You smile gently, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the calming heartbeat under your fingers. Mark looks at you lovingly, his eyes full of tenderness. "Would you kiss me again?" he breathes. You don't need a second question from him and pull him closer to you. You gently hold his face in your right hand and softly stroke over his jaw. Your lips meet in a tender kiss, embodying deep passion and intimate affection.

Mark deepens the kiss, his hands gently resting on your back. "If we keep going like this, I'll have a problem," he murmurs between kisses. You laugh softly. "That's not a problem I couldn't solve," you reply teasingly confident, while your hand gently strokes over his chest. Mark looks deeply into your eyes, his gaze full of affection and desire. "I could look at you like this forever," he whispers tenderly. His hand lovingly strokes over your face, while his thumb gently glides over your lips.

You smirk mischievously. "What am I going to do with you, Markie?" Mark smiles softly, his eyes twinkling with playfulness. "Well, I have a few ideas, but I'm also open to your suggestions," he replies with a hint of challenge in his voice.

Slowly, you pull away from him. "Anyway, whatever it is, it will have to wait, I still have a seminar."

Mark's expression changes from playful to slightly disappointed, but he tries to stay casual. "Dude, a seminar… now? Really, babe? You know how to keep a man in suspense," he says with a wry smile.

You giggle, slowly reaching for your bag. "Just because I have to go now doesn't mean I'll stop thinking about you," you say with slightly pink cheeks. "Will you think about me, Markie?" you whisper, and before Mark can answer, you pull him into another short, but passionate kiss that confuses his senses. Mark, with a playful glint in his eyes, answers your question. "Think about you? Fuck, y/n, I couldn't stop thinking about you even if I wanted to." His voice is soft and playful, underscored by a warm smile. "I must admit, it's hard for me to let you go now, beautiful."

You are now just as sensually disordered as he is -especially by the way how hot he sounded just now, but you try not to show it, even if your pink cheeks, pounding heart and smeared lipstick say that you'd be more than glad to be laid by him.

Before you turn to your boyfriend, already halfway up, you throw him a mischievous look. "I know, it's hard, Markie. But don't forget, imagination is often the greatest joy."

Mark looks at you with a loving and admiring gaze. "I love you, y/n," he blurts out suddenly. At that moment, your heart warms as you hear his words. Mark and his sudden, unexpected confessions. Your gaze softens, your eyes light up, and a warm smile plays on your lips. "I love you too, Markie, with my whole self." Mark proudly returns your smile.

"But the seminar won't wait, and I don't want to be late. Think about the imagination."

Mark leans back relaxed in his chair and closes his eyes in delight. "Then I guess I'll spend all day thinking about you and imagining how you suck my di-" Before he could finish, he is abruptly interrupted by you, playfully covering his words with your hand. "Psst, Mark," you whisper with widened eyes. "Keep those thoughts to yourself." Mark can't help but grin, obviously amused by your charming admonition. "Don't worry, darling, I'll keep my thoughts to myself, very quietly, just for me."

You swing your bag over your shoulder and shake your head, your cheeks now visibly red and a smile on your lips. "You're really unbelievable." You give him one last look, full of love and playfulness. You stroke his cheek one last time. "Tell me more about your thoughts later," you say with a meaningful grin, before you finally stand up and leave the room.

Mark is left alone in the café, his gaze fixed on the door through which you just disappeared. "She really drives me crazy," he mutters to himself, a smile on his lips, as he thinks about your last words.

#mark lee #mark lee imagine #mark lee x reader #nct #nct mark #mark lee x you #nct dream #nct 127 #nct mark scenario #mark lee scenarios #nct mark imagines #nct imagines #nct fics #nct mark x you #mark x you #nct mark x reader #mark x reader

253 notes · View notes

bird-inacage · 8 months

Text

Only Friends: Sand's crushing reality 'It's never about me'

I've noticed a lot of comments wishing Sand could be open about his feelings for Ray. Though that's a fair assessment and would save us a tonne of agony, I've attempted to delve into why this isn't so simple.

The Weight of Dignity & Mutual Respect

Sand comes across as someone who highly values dignity. Everyone deserves to be treated with due respect, and this is seen through how he interacts with others. Sand gets upset when someone questions his integrity, such as when Ray insinuates him to be a thief or questions him for bootlegging alcohol. He gets angry when someone tries to hurt Ray whilst his back is turned. Sand lives his life by an honourable and respectful philosophy, and the least he expects is for others to treat him the same way.

Therefore it's understandable that he hates being treated like a fool (whether that's being taken advantage of, humiliated or subjected to unwarranted judgement).

Ray has consistently maintained that he doesn't see Sand as a boyfriend. Said so himself, repeatedly. (Despite his actions indicating otherwise but that's another post in itself). So if Sand were to reveal his feelings, when he has no definitive confirmation that Ray is taking any of this seriously, he's going to risk feeling incredibly exposed and ridiculous. One of the reasons why rejection is so painful is due to the shame that comes with it. A hit of crippling inadequacy and embarrassment. Being confronted with: 'You're not good enough for me. You don't meet my standards. You're not what I want'.

Sand has probably had to experience a fair amount of falling short. To be lesser than, but largely due to means outside his control. He's been able to rise above those things. However, with Ray, he's not comfortable being in a position where he may be stripped of his dignity.

Boston being the one who dropped the bombshell is what made Sand feel incredibly stupid. For not knowing. For not being told. Which was arguably 100% times worse than hearing it from Ray himself. To be treated with respect is hoping someone will see you as an equal. Regardless of whether they are more than friends - even just between friends, Ray has never alluded to this. (To be fair, he may have been close, but now we'll never know). In that moment, it dawns on Sand how little he knows of Ray.

My belief is that if he were aware of Ray still being in love with Mew, he wouldn't make a move. Because that wouldn't be the honourable or respectful thing to do. So he’s been led to indulge in a fantasy that was never going to materialise. He wasn't in the loop. No one clued him in. He's not been treated equal. He feels like the butt of a bad joke. How could he possibly open up to Ray after that?

The 'Brave Face' of a Caretaker

Sand is a man defined by responsibility. Due to having only one parent in his life, he's learnt to be his mother's rock; resilient and steadfast. The sacrifice of having a caretaker mentality is that your own wellbeing is often an afterthought. How frequently do these types of people in our lives get asked how they feel. How are they doing? They're so busy taking care of everyone else or taking care of 'business', that no one ever thinks to ask. Their cries for help are much quieter, much less obvious and go undetected.

Though Sand is not the best at hiding it, he'll quickly distract others from his own disappointment, upset and hurt for the sake of greater harmony or in consideration of someone else's feelings. 'It's not about me', he seems to remind himself. 'I've got to keep it together. I've got be strong. There's a lot resting on me'.

Caretakers need others to take notice of them. To see past their seemingly infallible façade. They need others to initiate care and concern because they won’t put themselves first. Though Sand's mother evidently adores him, he’s clearly established a dynamic where he takes care of her. So who takes care of Sand? No one. He's on his own. He has no choice but to suck it up when things get tough and move forward as best he can. Life isn't going to stop for him.

Though hugely rattled, Sand immediately diffuses the fight. No questions, no demands that Ray explain himself. He’s still protective of Ray. No matter what happens, he comes second.

The Fault is Yours

Sand really desires someone to see him as 'special', as extraordinary. His life often revolves around others, so if he’s someone else’s priority, that will be a sign. This is why Sand was so affected by Ray passing him up for someone else - he felt expendable.

The gut-wrenching thing about Sand is he doesn't target blame onto others. He doesn't resent his father (who has no idea of his existence). He doesn't resent his mother (who wasn't able to give him a good start in life). He doesn't even resent Ray when he finds out about Mew (because Ray knew Mew first). Instead Sand internalises hardship as a reflection on himself. The reason why Ray can't see him as a boyfriend must be a product of his own shortcomings. Perhaps he's unworthy of someone like Ray to begin with. Boston makes a passing comment that men with Ray's looks and wealth are hard to come by. Sand doesn't need to be reminded that Ray has options. Access to more options besides him.

Things were never handed to Sand on a silver platter, and so he isn't one to assume anything. Don't assume Ray's feelings even if you have a hunch. Don't assume that Ray will fight for you. Don't assume that when push comes to shove, Ray will choose you. Because who are you to assume those things?

It's one thing to be told you can't have something. But it's another to feel like you don't deserve something. As if you never had the right. Never had a chance.

The fault is yours for thinking you did.

Because you're simply not that special.

(Note: So I'm going to need to see a situation where Ray takes care of Sand please. The boy needs it. He needs someone to fight for him for a change. Bear in mind this is just an analysis of what Sand may be feeling. A lot of these assumptions are untrue as Ray does care. But Sand doesn't know what to think anymore.)

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #ray x sand #sand x ray #sand #firstkhao #khaofirst #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #protect him please #god sand absolutely broke my heart this episode #he needs a hug #sand really doesn't have anyone to lean on #he carries so much on his own shoulders

436 notes · View notes

mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 3 months

Text

Request from @lives-in-midgard: Bucky and reader just watched a movie and then cuddled up to sleep. After a few minutes a thunderstorm begins and reader can feel that Bucky holds her more tighter because the thunder and the lightning triggers something in him. Reader comforts Bucky and then has the idea to build a blanket fort with Bucky.

Word Count: 1,872

Warnings: Thunderstorms, Bucky's mental health

Sometimes you enjoyed a good session of Netflix and chill with Bucky but more often than not you'd end up with Hulu and hang, especially when he came home worn out from his day job of being a hero. Tonight was one of those nights. Bucky had come home completely and utterly shattered. You had been worried that he wouldn't make it home before the forecasted storm that was supposed to be rolling in. But he had come home safe and sound, if not a little worse for wear.

“Hey Buck,” you greeted him at the door with a soft tone and small peck on the cheek.

He responded with a deep sigh, shrugging off his jacket and toeing off his dirty boots. Normally you'd chastise him for getting mud on the floor, but something told you to hold your tongue.

But it was as though he could read your mind. Bucky looked down at the mud on the floor and sighed. “I'm sorry, I'll clean it up.”

“Don't worry, baby. I'll sort it out later.”

“It's not fair on you.”

He picked up his boots and deposited them outside the front door. Bucky shut the door behind him turning back to you. He looked so lost and exhausted. You wondered what on Earth had happened to him during his last mission. As tempting it was to probe further, you sensed that it might not be the right time. Instead you opted for another question.

“What do you need?”

“I don't know,” he answered miserably.

“How does a shower sound? And I'll order your favorite take out and we can have a TV dinner. Okay?”

Bucky nodded mutely, trudging off to the bathroom. You sighed and picked up your phone to place your order. The food should arrive quickly, but you felt guilty for dragging the poor delivery man out in such terrible weather but your boyfriend needed pampering.

You answered the door to a pimply teenager who you tipped heavily for his troubles. It took you a moment to notice why he hadn't moved from his position of accepting your tip. Bucky had emerged dripping wet with a low hung towel draped over his waist. He was the epitome of a Greek God, water droplets tracing the outlines of his clearly defined abs.

“Get going, kid. Don't want to get caught in the storm.” You ushered the teen out of your doorway before closing the door behind him. You turned to Bucky with a grin. “Dressing to impress, are we?”

He blushed slightly. “Sorry. I was just looking for that towel.”

Immediately you realized that he was after the large fluffy white towel you had bought him a few months ago. It had been a self care gift. You had advised him that he needed to take care of himself better, that he deserved to have comfort. He had pretended to scorn the gift, but when your back was turned, you saw him rubbing his fingers between the soft fibers. It warmed your heart to know that he had heeded your words.

“Yeah, here it is.”

You fetched the requested item from the linen closet where you had put it after its last wash. He took the towel in his vibranium hand, his flesh one wrapped around your outstretched one, not letting you go.

You looked up into his eyes, searchingly. “Everything okay?”

“Only when you're here.”

He smiled, retreating to the bedroom to dry off and get dressed. You couldn't help but smile back at him, giving his ass a little pat as he left. Bucky returned promptly as you finished dishing out all the food onto one plate. He was definitely hungry, his insatiable supersoldier diet meant he always had room for a meal. Usually his mood was the only thing that would suppress his appetite, so it was a good sign to see him licking his lips with anticipation.

“Just one plate?” he frowned. “Is it all for you or me?”

“I thought we could share. Did you know that in Ethiopian culture, eating from the same plate is a symbol of love?”

“But you ordered Korean food,” Bucky replied, frowning in confusion.

“You speak like six different languages and you’re so smart, but sometimes Bucky, you can be really dense.”

Bucky smirked at your teasing. He grabbed the plate from your hands and headed to the couch, beckoning for you to follow. He pulled the coffee table up to the couch and sat down on the floor leaning against it. You joined him in time to hear him heave a sigh of relief.

“Feel good to get off your feet?” you asked.

“You have no idea, Doll,” Bucky sighed.

“Did something happen out here?” you asked tentatively, helping yourself to a gimbap of the plate.

Bucky grabbed his chopsticks and stuffed a piece of sweet and sour chicken into his mouth as a way to avoid answering your question. You sighed, rubbing his thigh as an apology for your intrusion. He was definitely not in the mood to talk and you were happy to eat and watch your movie in silence.

Once you had both finished your food, you paused the movie to grab a few cushions and pushed the coffee table away to make room. You and Bucky made yourselves comfortable on the floor under a large blanket, turning down the lights and restarting the movie. You felt relaxed in his arms, in the dimmed light with the sound of rain pattering against the window.

The raindrops turned from the gentle tapping into a hammering against the glass panes of the apartment. It was accompanied by a duo of distant rumbling and bright flashes. The wind howled through the rickety apartment and you snuggled deeper under the blanket and against Bucky's side.

It was only when Bucky's fingers dug into your side sharply did you notice how tight his grip on your waist had become. This was what prompted you to cast your senses out and you noticed how rigid your boyfriend had become. His body was stiff and his breath was shallow and faster than normal. Your head was resting against his chest and you heard his heart pounding. This demeanor could almost have been mistaken for arousal, but you knew your boyfriend well enough to know when he was being triggered.

The trauma Bucky had suffered was unimaginable. He rarely spoke about his time at HYDRA, and what he did tell you was evasive at best. There would be times where he would stare off into space with a haunted look or wake up drenched in sweat after a nightmare. When you had first met, he had been reluctant to sleep over and you had felt anxious about his dedication to your relationship. But he had been surprisingly forthcoming when you'd expressed your concerns. Since then, you'd progressed in your commitment to each other and now you were a great source of comfort to him and sleeping beside you had significantly reduced the incidence of his bad dreams. And here he was again, showing all the signs of being lost in a haze of his past.

“Buck?” you whispered. “Bucky?”

He was mumbling repeatedly under his breath. “I'm not the Winter Soldier. I'm James Bucky Barnes.”

It broke your heart to hear the desperation in his voice. You had missed it at first because his voice was so soft and went unnoticed, masked by the sound of the television.

“That's right, baby. You're James Bucky Barnes, my handsome sweet boyfriend. You're kind, smart and brave. I'm so proud of how you fight every single day. How much good you do. That's the man I fell in love with. That's my Bucky.”

Bucky turned to you, not once releasing his grip on you. “I had a bad day,” he sighed.

“I know, baby.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“That's alright. You don't have to. But I'm here for you if you do. You know that, right?”

“I appreciate that. But I don't want you to see that part of me.”

His words made you feel a little disappointed. Of course it was his choice, but you wanted him to let you in.

“I love every part of you, Buck.”

“I don't know that I deserve that.”

“Well I'm here to tell you that you do, everyday until you believe it. Now, how can I help you now?”

“I should have listened to you and put up curtains. The lightning, it's-” Bucky didn't know how to put into words the source of his distress.

You bit your lip, pondering the problem for a moment. “Oh! I have an idea! Be back in a minute, need to grab a few things. Is that okay?” You checked if he didn't mind you leaving his side for a bit.

Bucky nodded and you jumped up and into his bedroom. You had insisted he bought a bed and with it came pillows, pillow cases and bedsheets. You ran into his room to grab the biggest one you could find.

"Got it!”

You proceeded to pull the chairs from the dining room table and place them parallel to the couch, facing outwards. You shook out the sheet and in one swift motion draped it across the backs of all the chairs, effectively creating a blanket fort. You dropped a few of the decorative ornaments that you had bought Bucky onto the chair, weighing the sheets down to keep tension in the roof. Last of all, you grabbed the little galaxy projector and flicked it on.

The bedsheet was thick enough to block out the light coming from the windows. And the cave you'd created emanated a soft purple glow that Bucky found soothing.

He put his arm back around you as you dropped to the floor and crawled against his side.

“Want to carry on with the movie? Or I can put some music on? Or anything else you want.”

“Umm,” Bucky took a minute to think what he wanted.

You waited patiently for him to process his thoughts. Bucky struggled to give an immediate answer when he was exhausted and often got frustrated if people rushed him. You tried hard to respect his needs.

“You know that soundtrack you were listening to last week?”

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion. You listened to a lot of music.

“The music from that show you like… the one with the Duke.”

“Wait, are you talking about Bridgerton?” A grin spread across your face, impressed that Bucky had noticed.

“Yeah, that one,” Bucky mumbled.

“Sure,” you answered, smiling and pulling out your phone and opening your Spotify app. You typed out Bucky's choice in the search box and hit play. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” Bucky answered, sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

You laid your head on the pillow beside his, looking up at the lights in the sheeted ceiling you'd created. The storm outside couldn't penetrate the haven you'd made. Bucky took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the storm that raged inside him. Your arm around his waist and your hand on his heart helped tame the tempestuous beast that gnawed upon his soul.

“Thank you,” he whispered in your ear.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction

206 notes · View notes

citrineghost · 6 months

Text

I absolutely cannot get over - of all the things wrong with this season of OFMD - the abuse apologism.

Listen, hear me out, I understand that they're violent pirates. I understand they brutally murder and kill people and steal their shit and ruin lives. I get it.

The problem is, you cannot make a comedy about pirates and put a focus on the therapizing and emotional openness of the crew, making the fact that Stede showing up has them healing and talking and being emotionally more healthy as a major selling point of the show only to use that therapy-speak as a way of justifying abuse apologism.

They all hurt people, yes. The thing is, they're not supposed to hurt each other. They're supposed to be a family. The violence and abuse is supposed to be outside of the family network. They're supposed to be at home around each other, even if everyone there isn't great all the time and can sometimes be a bit toxic or unhealthy. Overall, in season 1, the message was, "We can get through this together." "Talk it through, as a crew."

Instead, season 2 dives directly into Ed committing atrocities against his own crew, giving most of them some combination of PTSD (which is clearly worse than any they've experienced before, because their personalities and ability to interact with people is completely altered), dissociation, hypervigilance, etc. Then, when they finally beat his ass and try to kill him because of the abuse, Stede fucking Bonnet shows up and is like, actually! I think you all should give him another chance!

The following episode(s) are so fucking hard to watch.

You've got people jumpy around him, terrified he's going to hurt them, all the while Stede encouraging them to just get over it and forgive him. He pushes for Ed to try to "turn poison into positivity." Basically encouraging the notion that if your abuser apologizes and then acts nice, everything should be fine and peachy.

The fact that this is bullshit is mentioned, I believe, only once, when someone noted that Edward didn't even use the words, "I'm sorry," during his apology.

This isn't just perpetuated by Stede, it's also perpetuated by Black Pete. He says to Lucius, "I feel like you're not even looking at me, you're looking through me." and then, when he sees that Lucius is drawing Ed's head on Pete's body (I guess meant to be some comedic take on traumatic fixation), he isn't sympathetic at all, he get's mad that he's not focused on him, and says something along the lines of, "You're so focused on the bad that happened to you but I haven't heard you mention once that you're alive."

This is such a heartwrenchingly common form of abuse minimization that it's nauseating to think about. This idea that, oh, you may be traumatized but actually you're not dead so who cares? Be grateful! Get over it!

And, unlike it being pointed out that Ed didn't say the words, "I'm sorry," this scene is never criticized by anyone in-show. Instead, Lucius appears very guilty and then draws a picture of Black Pete as an apology, telling him he's right.

He wasn't right. That's a fucked up thing to tell someone who was almost killed and then experienced extreme trauma following that. He made the entirety of Lucius' trauma an affront to him. Because Lucius was thinking about his trauma and not him.

Now the worst thing about all of this, to me, is that once this episode is past, it's treated as if everything is resolved. Oh haha funny, Ed walked around the ship with a cat bell on his neck for a few days so he couldn't sneak up on people! So cute and quirky!

It's fucking not! They should have thrown him onto a deserted beach and left him there. I'm not saying Ed should never be allowed to have anything good again in his life, I'm just saying it shouldn't be the crew he traumatized and abused. They don't deserve to have to live with him. They shouldn't be expected to forgive him.

Don't even talk to me about how they made a, and I quote, "Safe Space," and then Ed showed up to it. Like he had any fucking right to be there. When it was a Safe Space meant to be specifically an escape for the people he abused and traumatized. As if he, too, was a victim of him abusing them.

And on top of all of that, the fact that, as he's dying, Izzy is taking all the blame for Ed's actions as Blackbeard - another of Ed's abuse victims - and is treated as if that's the peak of his emotional development. It's not. That was where his development plummeted. He had seconds left to live and he used them to absolve his abuser of his guilt because he loves him and didn't want him to feel as bad when he died.

I was not a fan of Izzy in season 1. He was the biggest cunt on the ship, and he did encourage Ed to be a worse version of himself. But that doesn't mean his cuntiness justified him being mutilated and abused daily. We can only put so much of that on him. Ed had the power to say no. He had the power to be moderate, even. He had the power to be violent and terrible to people outside of their crew. He took Izzy's words and he ran with them - waaay further than he had any conscionable right to.

But this post isn't about season 2 Izzy. It's about abuse apologism, which I feel made up a significant portion of this season's content. And I'm just fucking furious about it.

I'm not saying shows can't have bad things in them. I'm not saying abuse apologism doesn't happen or that it doesn't have its place in media. I'm just saying, season 2 of this show wasn't a fucking comedy. The writers fucking tanked it. Everything that was good about season 1 was stripped of season 2 and everything was plunged into dark-humor tinted tragedy.

You can't base an entire show on the idea of comedically intelligent/modern therapizing language and then use that language to communicate that abusers deserve your pity and forgiveness - not to a queer audience that is probably 90% people who have been horribly abused.

#ofmd critical #ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd2

397 notes · View notes

kisscara · 1 year

Text

pity party [scaramouche x gn!reader] ⎯⎯ modern au, minor angst, fluff

scaramouche claimed he's never come to care about his birthday. anymore, at least. since kindergarten and every other grade after that, not a single person cared to show up when they were invited. he clearly remembers sitting at the dinner table, party hat atop his head seemingly drooping in the sad setting of the room.

but there was another thing. he always invited the whole class, except for one person. there were a lot of rumors about you and scaramouche wanted to stay as far away from you as possible so that his classmates wouldn't mistaken him for being your friend. it'd completely ruin his image.

however, on scaramouche's eighteenth birthday, he wondered what would happen should he invite you. of course, he'll slide invitations in the lockers of the rest of his peers, but just like before, they probably wouldn't care to come. it didn't even matter if they didn't have a gift, just their presence alone would put scaramouche over the moon.

and so, he waited in the living room. every now and then, he'd play video games on his phone, hoping to wait out the arrival of his peers much more quicker but in reality, he was trying to get his birthday over with.

suddenly, the sound of the doorbell going off caused him to sit up from his slouching position. could it be? scaramouche tossed his phone aside and practically ran to the front door. he swung it open and his heart began doing somersaults in his chest.

you awkwardly stood there, waiting for him to speak up. when he didn't say anything, you took it upon yourself to engage the conversation. "happy birthday, scaramouche." you presented your wrapped gift for him with a smile. he idly stood, frozen as you placed the gift in his hands.

you welcomed yourself inside of his home, and that's when he finally snapped out of his trance. "that took me a lot of time to wrap, so i'd appreciate it if you viciously ripped it apart when i leave," you playfully commented. scaramouche carefully put your gift on the table in the dining room and a grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

"this is a big occasion, isn't it? after all, you're finally an adult." you sat on the couch and scaramouche joined you. "um, yeah. listen, we haven't properly met before, right?" he asked. you murmured, "mhm, i figured you were avoiding me like everyone else." at that, scaramouche tensed up.

you burst into a fit of laughter, "c'mon, i'm just kidding! what's with the serious look?" scaramouche relaxed his shoulders in relief. his first party guest and he nearly screwed it over. you grinned, "i'm (name). they don't really like me just because... you know what, i don't know either but hey,"

you took a party hat from the table and placed it on your head. "i didn't know eighteen year olds still held birthday parties like this," you giggle, to which scaramouche replied in a flustered frenzy, "my mom put those out!" you laugh, "i get it. by the way, do you like horror movies?" scaramouche looked to the side.

"my mom still has me on a netflix kids account and she gets notified whenever i try making a purchase using my credit card..." scaramouche covered his face in embarrassment. you leaned against the couch, "you too, huh?" scaramouche looked up from his hands to glance at you.

has celestia sent down an angel for him?

you waved around a few dvd cases that came from your bag, "i used my friend's money to get these. i obviously paid them back." you stood up and crouched down in front of the dvd player on the tv set. "you ever watch a nightmare on elm street, poltergeist, scream, halloween... any of the classics at all?"

scaramouche shook his head and you flashed him a smile, "great, me neither!"

that evening, scaramouche lost track of time marathoning horror movies with you. the two of you ate the snacks from his dining room and hid under a big blanket, all of the lights turned off to set the right mood. he was grateful that you didn't question where the rest of the guests were, not once.

you tightened the grip on your popcorn bowl and scaramouche intently watched the screen. "i can't look," you squealed, covering your eyes. scaramouche couldn't help but let out a chuckle. he had a feeling that if he were watching horror movies alone, he'd be looking away as well. but he wouldn't miss this for the world.

suddenly, the front door slammed open and you and him shouted in unison. you fell off of the couch and scaramouche looked over. "oh, it's much too dark in here, it's bad for your eyes," ei tutted, turning on the light. she tilted her head, "kuni, who's that, dear?"

scaramouche gritted his teeth, "i'm busy, mom-" ei gasped, "is this a party guest?" she started giggling, "i expected this birthday to be like the rest but i'm glad you found a worthy friend, kuni! i'll be in my room, okay? don't stay up too late, you two!" you sat back down on the couch and exclaimed, "thank you, miss!"

the second scaramouche heard ei's bedroom door close, he turned the lights back off. "sorry about her," scaramouche muttered. the movie served as pure background noise as you remarked, "she seems sweet. where was she the whole time, work?" scaramouche mumbled, "yeah, runs a business."

your pupils dilated, "really? that's so cool, no wonder you have a ton of friends." scaramouche froze up from where he was sitting next to you. friends. in class, they'll act like his friends, but it's like they're strangers the second they step outside of the school grounds. i mean, they don't even go to his birthday parties.

"mhm." he rested his chin in his palm, "after this, are you going to pretend we don't know each other in class, just like before?" you perk up in surprise. "why would i? i have a new friend now ⎯ ah wait, i don't even know if it's mutual," you nervously corrected yourself with a sheepish smile.

scaramouche's porcelain complexion flushed red. "you... want to be my friend?" he asked in a small voice. "definitely! you're funner than i took you for, scaramouche!" you happily comment before tossing another popcorn into your mouth.

"okay. let's be friends, (name)." scaramouche gave you a smile and you smiled back. he looked at the television set. "by the way, funner isn't a word," he said. you complained, "is too!" scaramouche laughed. for the first time ever, he genuinely laughed with a friend.

a half hour later, you checked your phone's notifications. "oh, i got to go, my mom's car is outside." you quickly gathered your things and put on your shoes. scaramouche solemnly watched as you reached for the doorknob. "hey," at your call, he looked up from the floor.

"you can keep the dvds, i'll come back another time to get them. you can watch the rest without me or wait 'til i'm free. got it?" you winked at him and scaramouche lightly chuckled, "yeah, i'll wait for you." you waved, "thanks for the great night, scara! i'll see you at school tomorrow!"

and the front door shut with a click.

scaramouche's gaze caught your gift on the table. he made his way over and began to delicately unwrap it. he read the sticky note on the box, word for word. 'happy 18th birthday, scaramouche!! i don't know you too well, but i sewed this up myself. i hope you like it ♡'

scaramouche removed the top of the box and his eyes lit up. a felt doll that looked just like him. with caution, he took it out of the box, feeling as if he'd ruin this precious treasure so easily if he wasn't careful. he held it to his chest and sighed in content.

from that point on, he looks forward to his birthday, all because of one person.

869 notes · View notes

vi-trying-to-survive · 1 year

Text

Public Displays

Anthony Lockwood x f!Reader

Warnings: None, this is pretty much fluff and only fluff :) 💖💖💖

Summary: Lockwood and Y/N have to pretend to be a couple for a case, which is hard for her, but things are more complicated than they seem, as usual 💖💖💖

A/N: I hope you guys like this one :) 💖💖💖 It's a little longer, but also I love the fake dating trope a little too much :') 💖💖💖 Also so sorry if updates are unpredictable and slow :’) 💖💖💖 Hope you have a great day 💖💖💖

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lockwood are you really sure this is necessary ?", she frowned, sinking deeper into her seat.

Why did they need to pretend to be couple for this ? He was known to love elaborate plans, but this seemed a little much and slightly unnecessary. Alright, maybe the problem was partly because she really liked him, but how could she not. He always had her tea ready, just the way she liked it. He made her laugh, not cute little giggles, the ugly one that had her in tears on the ground, snorting. He cared about everyone in the team, more than he cared about himself sometimes, and definitely more than he let on. So, it was hard to not like him. She did hide it though, buried so deep, as to be sure that no one would ever know. Someone smarter and braver than her would have told her to just tell him how she felt, but it was easier this way, the pain of rejection would be agonising. Not just because she'd lose him, it may as well be like losing Lucy and George as well. She would rather live in denial all her life, than give up her only actual family. What could she say, she was a pessimist.

"I'm positive", he grinned.

George put down his book, nodding his head, "Public displays of affection do make people uncomfortable"

"Not helping", she groaned, letting her head drop into her hands.

"What ?! I'm just stating the obvious", he frowned, looking around the room for an air of support. The room was silent except for Lucy, giggling in her seat. Clearly this was amusing to her. She shot her a wary look, a silent plea for help. She only shrugged her shoulder, popping another biscuit into her mouth. She cursed under her breath.

He took a seat next to her, a hand on her shoulder, "Don't you trust me Y/N". She did trust him, that wasn't the problem. She didn't trust herself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lockwood, slow down", she gasped, unable to keep up with him. He was practically dragging her behind him. Their hands were interlocked, and she was only too aware of how her hand slotted into his, like pieces of a jigsaw. She was terrified. Her palms were sweaty. What if he could notice how sweaty her palms were. She muttered an apology as she bumped into another passerby, looking down on the ground.

He didn't slow down, only shook his head with a smile, "Sorry sweetheart, you are just going to have to walk faster".

She was taken aback, but kept walking. "I- Don't call me that", she sighed.

He squeezed her hand little, "What? It's part of the act, we are playing a couple".

"You are so annoying", she rolled her eyes. She hoped that he wouldn't look back and see the blush that coloured her face.

"But you love it sweetheart", he laughed and she couldn't help but laugh too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You know we need this to be believable right ?", he sent her a pointed look.

"This is completely believable", she raised a brow, gesturing to the couch that they were both seated on. She was playing dumb, well aware of the distance between them. It was supposed to be a reality check of sorts, that she was hoping he wouldn't notice, but he was being sharper about this than she thought.

He chuckled, bringing a hand to her waist, pulling her towards him, "You could come a little closer ?". She pressed her lips together, as her contingency plan fell to pieces. Well shit. "You're so stiff", he repositioned her arms around him, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder, before replacing his arm around her.

"There this isn't so bad is it", he sighed, sounding a little too pleased with himself. He was warm and comfortable, with the faintest scent of lavender and bergamot. She let herself relax, as much as she could at least, settling in next to him. He was all to aware, a smug smirk plastered on his face. This was bad.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She found herself in a predicament. She had to create a distraction. The best way would be to act like a couple, but that would only make it worse for her at the end of the night. Chancing a glimpse at the shadowy figure in the corner of her eye, she groaned internally. She knew what she had to do.

"Hey", she turned towards him,

His eyes met hers, "Yes ?'.

"How is that you always manage to look so good ?", she giggled, pulling him closer by his tie. She brought her palm to his cheek, he leaned into her touch. That was weird, but she kept going. She wasn't risking her sanity the whole day just for the case to end up in failure. She moved in closer, their lips only meeting, separated by a few millimetres. She could feel his hot breath on hers. Her heart pounded faster. How had this become a part of her job ?

His face turned red, "I um- I-".

The figure moved past them, and she thanked every higher power in existence. She pushed away from him, taking a step back. His tie dropped from her hold, "Okay they're gone".

Only then could she truly appreciate how flustered he had actually gotten. He looked like he had run a kilometre. She laughed, "Are you blushing ?". It was rare, which is why it was such a treat. At least if anything, at the end of this day she could say that she made the Anthony Lockwood speechless.

He fixed his gaze on the ground, running a hand through his hair, "I- I um- No".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"They're coming out, we gotta go", she hissed, tugging at his arm. How had she not come to the realisation that this would end up with them in a sketchy alley, that was lit up by a sinister glow and wet with something she hoped was just rain water. This was disgusting, but the stakes of their lives was a bigger priority than hygiene, and still everything she endured today would all be for nothing if they were dead at the end of this.

He ran a palm across his face, "No there's not enough time".

"They're gonna know we were eavesdropping", she chewed her bottom lip. Her eyes flitted back and forth, searching for an escape, but all she could see were walls, nothing to climb, no hole to squeeze threw. Nothing. How could there be nothing ? They always made it out ? He always had a plan.

She looked at him, a sinking feeling burning a hole in the bottom of her stomach. "I- I know what to do", he sounded unsure.

At least he had a plan, and a plan was better than nothing. She winced, shrugging her shoulders, "Well whatever it is you're gonna have to do it quick".

In one swift movement, he had shoved her against the wall, his body pressed up against hers. She was breathing heavily, trying and failing to look anywhere else. It was probably not a great look, but when he put his lips on hers, her mind went blank. He tasted sweet, like honey. He was gentle, not like that she had imagined. It was soft and hesitant, messy and awkward. Still through all that it felt different, less like a daydream, more real.

He pulled away, she gasped, "That was-".

"I'm sorry, they’re gone now- I didn't mean to-", he began, hands up in surrender. Cutting him off she grabbed the collar of his shirt, connecting their lips again. He was taken aback, but he caught on soon enough, his hands moving to her waist, tugging her closer against him, almost suffocating her. It would be a lie to say she didn’t enjoy it though. Her fingers were tangled in his hair, leaving it sticking out in different ends. She felt warm all over and desperate, clinging onto him, but in the moment she didn’t care.

She pulled away breathless. He looked out-of-breath, yet he still seemed to be watching her closely. She turned her gaze to his, searching his eyes for a sign, something to tell her that he felt the same. He gave her a soft smile, “Can- Can we do that again ?”. She laughed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door swung open. Her eyes travelled to their interlocked hands. He scratched the back if his head sheepishly and she looked to the ground.

"So, how was your date ?", she took a step back, letting them in, with a teasing grin.

Her eyes were still trailed on the floor, letting him lead her in, "We um-". How would she be able to describe it ? Where would she even begin ?

"I knew it", she shook her head knowingly, arms crossed.

She was confused. "What ?", he wondered, tracing patterns on the back of her palm.

“You two kissed”, she pointed out, but before he could respond she was already marching up that stairs, “George you owe me 10 quid”.

Maybe she wasn’t as great at hiding her feelings as she thought ? She tilted her head to look at him. His hairs was ruffled with a tired smile on his face, her hand still secured in his. Turning to her, he raised a brow, probably feeling her stare. She just smiled back.

"You two kissed", she pointed out, like it was written on their foreheads, but before he could think of a response, she was already marching up the stairs, “George you owe me 10 quid”.

They were silent. Maybe she wasn’t as good as hiding her feelings as she though she was. She tilted her head to look at him, a ruffled with a tired smile on his face, she felt a sense of comfort. He turned over to her, probably sending her stare, she just smiled, content.

They were silent. She felt her face heat up. Was it that obvious to everyone else ? Maybe she wasn’t as incognito as she had thought ? And maybe that wasn’t so bad she thought, as she looked at him, ruffled with a tired smile on his face. She felt a a strange sense of comfort and couldn’t help but smile too.

812 notes · View notes

ninigummysmile · 1 year

Text

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 - 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞

Summary: The five times Jennie almost said she loves you + when she finally does

Jennie x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Important: English is not my first language so, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes

Words: 4.161

Zero

Jennie has always been an independent woman, who knows how to get by on her own and who doesn't necessarily need to have a partner to be happy.

When you started dating, you saw more and more of her beautiful interior, sweet as honey and a smiling girl.

It's hard for Jennie to open up to others, to be intimate. She doesn't show affection that easily, which is ironic since she often overflows with love and care for those she cares about.

After a frustrated relationship, in which she already had to hear many things that weren't true, including that her intense way was often irritating, she had to learn to keep her feelings and plug that well of hers so that it wouldn't overflow again and scare someone else. That is until you arrived, you were patient and determined enough to get her to start talking and expressing herself, and now she doesn't know if you already feel the same way as her or if it's too soon, but every time you show her in small ways how much you care, it's hard for her not to say those three words…

One

You finish checking the meat in the oven and start preparing the mashed potatoes. You know how much your girlfriend loves homemade food, despite the fact that most of the time she wants to order food for delivery claiming that the time you have to spend together she won't leave you cooking.

Her kitchen is spacious and complete, at first you didn't feel good cooking alone in the big space, but now that you're more familiar with it, it's relaxing to be able to cook while listening to music and leaving your thoughts a little aside, focusing only on the task of prepare a meal.

The front door unlocks and you hear the keys lock it again. Footsteps approach the kitchen and you turn to greet your girlfriend.

“Hey, baby. How was today?” you ask a clearly tired Jennie, giving you a brief peck.

“It was exhausting, we're training a lot for the next concerts” you make a move to hug her, but she soon stops you. “I'm sweaty, love. Let me take a shower first, okay?” she gives you another peck and with dragged steps goes upstairs. Not that you mind sweating, she knows that, but you figure dancing and singing all day nonstop to make everything perfect makes the only thing you want when you get home is a nice and long shower.

The oven beeps and you finish preparing the dinner and setting up the table. A few minutes later Jennie appears with a towel over her head and her eyes heavy with sleep, you stifle a chuckle at her cuteness as she practically walks around with her eyes closed in her fluffy pink pajamas.

“Let's eat so you can rest” you put the plate in front of her.

She takes a deep breath and a lazy smile appears on her face. “I really like it when you cook, especially this kind of food”

“I know” you laugh. “This is why you should let me cook more”

You talk about how each other's day went and after your girlfriend's second yawn, you decide that you're going to do the dishes tomorrow and that as soon as you get into bed you'll pass out.

You see her sitting on the end of the bed removing the towel from her head and you think she won't have enough strength to comb her hair. With a styling product in your hands, you stop in front of her and start towel-drying her hair.

You sit behind her and start applying the product by lightly massaging her scalp. At that moment, Jennie feels her body melt against yours and her eyes close in satisfaction, it's in those little moments that she wishes she could live forever.

Brushing and untangling her hair, you feel her calm breathing and limp body and for a moment you think she slept in that position.

When you're done, you place a kiss on her neck. “Ready to sleep?”

“I've been ready for a while” she murmurs and you smile at her short sentences when she’s sleepy.

“Then get under the duvet” you direct her and let her lie down comfortably while you brush your teeth and do your nightly routine.

You lie down on the bed and turn off the lamp, Jennie hugs your torso and you hug her so she can lay her head on your shoulder. Soon you are enveloped by sleep and everything around you becomes distant.

Your girlfriend feels warm inside after a nice dinner, from your fingers combing her hair and from your body fitting hers so well when you go to sleep. She almost said how much she appreciates your gestures, how much she wants more nights like this one, but maybe it wasn't the right time, maybe it was just tiredness taking over. She knows it's not tiredness, she knows that what she feels is real, but she was afraid that you would think that was it.

Two

You finish editing some work documents on your laptop when Jennie walks into the room.

“Hi, how was your meeting, love?” you take the object off your lap and place it on the empty space of the bed.

“Well, nothing new” she places a kiss on your cheek and walks into the bathroom. You realize that maybe the meeting didn't go so well and she needs some time to herself.

The house was silent for the rest of the day, as if no one was inside. You know your girlfriend tends to keep things to herself, but every now and then you make an effort to let her open up when she feels comfortable, not so much that her emotions explode all at once, but enough so that she feels good to talk.

You make prepositions of what might have upset her, it might be a small problem and you don't even need to worry, you also don't want to cross any barriers and meddle in something that is none of your business.

By night, you believe she's doing better because your little conversations seem light and without any apparent problems.

During the week, she didn't seem to care anymore about what was perhaps bothering her, but you know her very well and you know that despite her pretending everything is fine, something isn't right.

You set the bags on the kitchen counter after coming in from the market and go to the bedroom to announce your arrival, pausing in the doorway when you hear sniffles and sobs.

You take a deep breath and knock on the door, not wanting to startle her. “Baby, is everything okay?”

“Yes, I'm coming” her voice full of sadness breaks your heart and you slowly open the door seeing her quickly wipe her face sitting on the floor with her back resting on the bed.

“Hey, what happened?” you kneel beside her.

“I can't take it anymore” she hugs you with her face buried in your neck.

“It's okay, my love. I'm here” you wait for her to calm down, but she doesn't break away and doesn't even look up in shame.

“I'm sorry”

“Why are you apologizing?”

She shrugs.

“You do not need to apologize. Tell me what happened?”

“I thought it would get to a point where I didn't care anymore, but it seems to affect me more than I realize”

“Tell me what I need to do to help you, I will solve it”

“You can’t solve”

“Why?”

She pulls away and lowers her eyes before answering, not daring to look you in the eye because if she does, she feels like she's going to cry again. “It’s these hate comments”

You feel your heart sinking in your chest to see her in this state, you've always been aware of the absurd amount of comments she receives, many of them being disrespectful comments and your blood boils knowing that they come from people hiding behind a screen of cell phone, because if you saw someone say that in front of you, you would not be responsible for your actions.

“Look at me” you ask holding her face and making her look into your eyes. “Nothing they say is true. I know that I can say a thousand nice things to you, but that if you read a mean comment on a bad day, it will stick in your head and erase all the good things I said to you. I know it's hard to ignore and that it's easier to say you don't care than to really not care. But you have me and I'm always open to talk, it doesn't matter if it's about just one bad thing or ten, we're not always going to talk about nice things and I'm willing to listen to you, you don't have to hold everything and think you're disturbing me”

Jennie stares at you without saying anything. If it was her old relationship, her ex would tell her to stop the drama and that these comments only affect her because she looks for them and keeps reading them. She hates comparing you to her ex, but unconsciously her brain does that, because she can't believe that someone like you, who has so much patience with her, who always demonstrates to be willing to solve whatever is needed, who always knows what to say at the right time is with her and that above all understands not only her busy life, but also her deepest feelings.

She wants to say how grateful she is, she wants those words to just slip out of her mouth so she doesn't have to say them so precisely. But that doesn't happen, instead she just lets your words of comfort flow through her mind and nods her head as a sign that she understands what you mean.

“Great” you smile. “I bought popcorn, how about we watch cartoons?”

“I think it would be perfect”

“Then let's go” before getting up and extending your hand for her to accompany you, you place two kisses on her forehead and gently wipe her nose with the sleeve of your shirt.

Three

If it weren't for the countless times your girlfriend has said she misses you over video call, you wouldn't be getting on a plane right now. For the few minutes of the call, you could see the rush and preparation for the third consecutive day of concert, imagining the stress of all the team to fix the last details.

You've quickly packed a small bag for travel, as the concert is taking place in a nearby town, and after dropping your belongings at the hotel, you stop at a coffee shop near the stadium to buy Jennie's favorite sweets.

You send a message to a staff you befriended once while backstage letting her know you're coming and as soon as she spots you, she helps you get past the security guards leading you to where your girlfriend is.

“Decided to come at the last minute?” she asks as she shows the access card to another security guard.

“Yes, I decided to surprise her” she smiles.

“She will like it, we had some problems in rehearsal and stage preparation today and not everyone is in a good mood”

You leave the sweets and a bouquet of flowers on a table behind the stage, and stepping onto the large platform, which overlooks countless seats, you see Jennie at the end of the catwalk, much smaller than she is because of the distance.

You greet your friends who are also part of the group closest to you on the stage and start walking around the huge platform.

She has her back, giving you the opportunity to hug her. “Hi, love” you say in her ear and she gets tense for a few seconds, but then relaxes when she hears your voice.

“What are you doing here?” she asks in surprise, turning her head slightly to check that you're really there.

“Ouch, is this how you receive your girlfriend who came from another city and stayed on the plane for hours just to see you?” you ask jokingly with mock offense.

“You know what I meant!” she pouts and you kiss her.

“Yeah, I know. Since you can't live away from me, saying you missed me so much, I decided to come stay with you” you chuckle as she pats your arm rolling her eyes.

“If you're going to tease me, let's stay in separate rooms at the hotel” you know she doesn't mean it, she turns into your arms with a smile on her lips.

“Right” you laugh and seal her lips. “But I’ll let you know that I brought my camera and I’m going to record everything”

As she finishes rehearsing on stage, you take countless photos. It's not like you've never been to a concert before, but seeing her so happy and comfortable in the place she was born to be, makes you smile for hours until your cheeks hurt.

You go to the dressing room so she can get ready and you hand her the bouquet and a bag of sweets. She radiates happiness and you can't resist pinching her cheeks as she chews on one of the macarons.

Jennie has already received thousands of flowers, but when you give them, the feeling is much more special and her heart skips a beat.

She tries to hide her emotion as she eats and hopes you didn't see her eyes fill with tears. She really missed you, even though you texted or called her every day, she couldn't wait to come home and be with you. She knows it's not easy to take a last minute break from work, find a flight and spend the day doing practically nothing during rehearsals. And yet you did it without a second thought and with a beautiful smile on your face, going on and on about how cool she looks on stage.

She thought about confessing her deepest feelings before going onstage, so that she wouldn't have to look you in your eyes if you didn't return them yet, but the only thing she was able to say was “thanks for coming”.

Four

One of Jennie's hobbies, and one that she hasn't done in a while, is cooking desserts. She always liked to make cakes, pies, waffles and many others simply for the pleasure of making them and many times some of them stayed in the fridge for weeks until you could eat everything.

In an afternoon with nothing to do, you saw a video of stuffed cookies on your cell phone and showed it to her. She soon got excited about making them and you wouldn't expect that she wanted to make them right away.

Searching the cupboards and fridge for ingredients, she places them on the counter and begins reviewing the recipe.

You simply stand beside her, waiting for some instructions on what to do, she soon tells you what you have to do and you get in tune while working.

You ask a few times to try the stuffing, but she denies saying it's not ready yet. Some time later you see her with a spoon in her mouth.

“Hey, you said it wasn’t ready yet!” you accuse her indignantly and she laughs in your face.

“It wasn't ready at that time, now it is” she mocks and starts stuffing the cookies.

“Jennie Kim, if I were you I would be careful how you talk”

“Why? What are you going to-” her sentence is cut off as you take flour in one of your hands and throw it in her face.

Laughing uncontrollably, you lean against the counter and your stomach starts to hurt from laughing so hard. She processes what just happened for a few seconds and you almost swallow flour when she takes her revenge, laughing out loud of your face when you run to the sink to spit the ingredient out of your mouth.

You've never seen her laugh so hard, her laugh is infectious and you start having a fit of giggles as you dirty each other up.

Jennie always thought you were extremely beautiful, with your eyes that always seem to have that unique sparkle and a laugh that could light up the entire planet. Before she can say anything, you've pulled her into a shower while the cookies get cold.

A small sound coming from the back of her throat makes it clear that she is enjoying you shampooing her hair. You repeat the process and apply conditioner, securing her locks in a bun.

When you go to start washing your hair, she takes the shampoo out of your hands and does to you what you did to her. Jennie smiles at how stunning you are, with the water coursing through your body, with your eyes closed feeling her fingers on your head and the orange light of the sunset illuminating you.

Jennie must be the luckiest person in the world to be able to experience paradise while still on Earth. If when she arrives at the gates of paradise and finds anything less than that, she will believe that everything they imagine about this angelic place is a lie and she will want to go back immediately. Why is it possible that a place known as the best place to be, with peace, joy and an indescribable feeling doesn't have you in it?

Five

The summer breeze makes your hair fly in the wind as you walk with your dogs. Each leading one on a leash, you make your way to the park that you always go when the weather is nice for a walk.

You stop at an ice cream parlor and you order your favorite flavor and Jennie chooses a different flavor every time, claiming that her new favorite flavor might be out there and she won't find out if she doesn't try it.

You sit on a bench in the park and you feel Jennie staring at you. “Something wrong, love?” you ask already knowing the answer.

“I didn't like that flavor very much” she confesses and you exchange your ice creams, giving yours to her.

“What flavor is that?” you ask with a little ice cream in your mouth.

“Rainbow” she laughs at your grimace.

“And what should that taste like? It has almost no taste, it feels like I'm drinking water” you laugh.

After she is happy having your her ice cream, you move to a more open space and let go of the leashes, letting the dogs run and play freely. You run, jump and throw the toys for them to fetch while Jennie watches you sitting on a picnic blanket.

You decide that's good for today and it's time to go home. When you go to bend over to put the leashes back on, she bends down at the same time and you bump your foreheads. She was going to pretend she got hurt so she could get a peck on the forehead, but she sees you laughing and starts laughing at your reaction.

In the middle of the park, with two dogs watching their owners and laughing at something so silly, you look like two idiots in love. You two are idiots in love. Who laugh at the dumbest things, who watch their partner with love and a smile on your face, with a look that says it all at the same time.

Jennie will tell you. Not today, not this time. But she's determined to take that step and put all her fears and insecurities aside because if you haven't walked away by now, if you've been with her through her ups and downs, if you've seen her cry, laughed, heard her secrets and goals she wants to achieve in the future, all of them including you, it's because you're going to stay in her life as long as she allows it and that means forever.

With butterflies in her stomach, she intertwines your hands and you walk back home in a comfortable silence, talking only with looks and smiles.

Six: when she says the three words

It wasn't a good day for you at work today. Everything seems to have gone wrong, starting with your alarm clock that didn't go off and you were late, your boss who is almost never at the company but coincidentally was today and noticed you were late, thousands of emails to answer, short deadlines for document delivery and an extremely boring meeting that you barely paid attention to. On the way back home, a car almost hit yours for trying to overtake you at a red light and you almost had to rummage through your bag in the driveway because when you left for work, you just threw the object in your bag and you was frustrated that you couldn't do something as easy as finding the keys.

There are days and days. There are days when few things shake you, it's very difficult for you to get upset, it's easy to forget the problems and carry on as if nothing had happened. And there are days when your sensitivity is at an all-time high and a single hair out of place makes you want to cry with rage.

Despite being tired, you agreed with Jennie that this week you would be the one to do the laundry. If you said you weren't well, she would immediately tell you to lie down and do the chores for you, but you think it's good to do something to distract yourself.

You change and start taking the clean clothes out of the machine to put the dirty ones. You sort the clothes carefully so as not to make the same mistake as your girlfriend who once missed a red sock in the middle of the light clothes and turned everything into pink.

You put the clean ones in the dryer and for a moment you sit on the laundry room floor watching the laundry being done. Jennie frowns when she finds you on the floor and crouches down to your level.

“What are you doing there, doll?”

“Waiting for laundry to do” you mutter. She looks at the machine's dashboard that says the laundry will be clean in an hour.

“Are you going to wait an hour here?” you shrug and she strokes your hair.

“Bad day?”

“Bad day” you confirm.

“Get up” she extends her hand for you to take. “I'm not going to let you sit on the cold floor for an hour because of a bad day. Your back will thank me later”

You get up and she walks you to the kitchen. You stop in front of the counter, where her cell phone is and she puts it on a playlist, you immediately recognize the song. You don't know it, but she made a playlist with all your favorite songs, so when she's far away, she can feel close to you, whether it's the lyrics, the melodies, the memories you have sung through the songs or just because you likes a song is enough for her to like it too.

She places her hands on your waist and you place yours on her neck, lightly caressing the back of her neck. You lean your head on her shoulder and you start swaying lightly to the rhythm of the music. She makes circles on your back, not because you're crying or because it hurts, but to comfort you from the bad day you've had to go through.

You listen to her hum the lyrics and close your eyes to feel this moment as much as possible. You might feel a little better with that small gesture, as if the world doesn't exist, just the two of you dancing in the kitchen, in a parallel reality belonging only to you, where nothing bad can reach you because you're in the arms of your love, in the arms of the person who makes you feel safe, in the arms of someone who cares. And that's enough to make you feel good.

“I love you” Jennie finally says. She doesn't have to say it with her eyes closed or wanting to run away. She says every word. She faithfully clings to those three words that mean the world to you.

And a tear escapes your eyes, a single tear. It's not sadness or anger. It's for being able to hear this and being able to know what it's like to feel loved. To be loved by someone you love too, to be loved by someone who knows and accepts your flaws. Being loved by someone who would kill and die for you is the best thing you could ever feel in your entire life. To be loved by Jennie.

#kim jennie #jennie #kpop fluff #blackpink #jennie fluff #blackpink fluff #jennie x reader #ninigummysmilefluff

440 notes · View notes

bonny-kookoo · 7 months

Note

How would the mc adjust to living with Jungkook after the adoption?

Belongs to this

Living with Jungkook on his planet was honestly pretty exciting.

The people are awfully quiet- mainly because his kind doesn't communicate much with audible vocals, but rather with their inner voice as he explained to you- only on occasion you hear some strangers talk to one another here and there, mostly elderly or very young children. According to Jungkook, those groups can't hear very well anymore, or haven't learned how to do it yet- and some simply grow up with mixed parents, which happens more and more often. And also, tourism is a thing as well- so while it's still oddly 'quiet' in a lot of places, Jungkook tells you that his kind had become a lot 'louder' since he was a kid.

Another thing you had to get used to, is the fact that now, your wants and needs actually hold weight. Jungkook asks you a lot what you want to do, what you'd like to eat, even which foods to buy when grocery shopping. All of those things were decisions you never had to make- you always just adjusted and that was it, but that's not how this life is working with the alien man. He treats you like an equal being that lives with him in a genuine relationship rather than just an owner-hybrid situation.

And sometimes, that overwhelms you- but he's already noticed that, and has limited the pressure of asking a lot of things for now, instead rather trusting the few muddled words he can make out from your thoughts.

Currently, you're just lazing around- Jungkook is enjoying the midday sun with you, soaking up the warmth of the sun shining into his very high up apartment. That's something you both do often- you've learned that that's a common behavior for his kind, after you've seen a lot of others do it at a park when you were on a casual stroll outside last week. Many were laying on blankets in groups in the plain sun- his kind's skin immune to any radiation burns someone like you might get.

But Jungkook always makes sure to never forget sunscreen for you- and it's obvious that he even enjoys massaging the sweet smelling milky sun defense into your skin, the act somewhat of a bonding thing almost. He enjoys taking care of you, and is clearly very happy with the new addition to his life.

It's another thing he's told you that's changed since he was young; the social system of his kind is evolving, slowly becoming closer, less 'each their own' as it's been like for a long time. Now, these days, people connect with one another, make friends, and just like you've seen in the park, are starting to see the appeal in having a larger social group, or even just a human-like relationship.

Jungkook slowly stretches his legs before he adjusts his position, rolling over towards where you're laying, legs and arms pulling you close as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. And in that moment, you realize, that from now on, there's truly nothing to fear.

Because neither he, nor you, will ever be alone again.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #alien jungkook #alien!jungkook

171 notes · View notes

earlofbats · 10 months

Text

Okay so because this post about Harry being a bottom I'm going to give a genuine dissertation on the thematic relevance of sub Harry and maybe a little bit about dom Kim.

First I wanna establish the "Harry is definitely a subby little bottom boy" and is also definitely Bi and probably has some sorta fucking complex about it.

Evidence A. Contact Mike, Guillaume Le Million, Measurehead (when fascist).

Harry tends to idolize and gravitate towards extremely masculine figures.

This is probably due to a reflexive need to feel masculine and have masculine role models in the face of elements of identity that are seen as unmasculine by society and have become exacerbated by the breakup which had to be pretty emasculating for Harry.

Also :

Imma start a Harry's Kink counter here +1 light bondage.

+1 auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Uhm +1 uhh,Spanking? Additional +1 for being what I think is most possibly the horniest thought you have in the game also:

+1 Kim is a Dom.

I think Harry has kept his attraction to men or his desires about men fairly low key for his entire life. The way he conceptualizes Homosexuality in general as an "underground" society filled with whispering rooms and forbidden secrets is likely more of a reflection of how Harry views his own sexuality than how Queer culture is manifest in Revachol. (In reference to the way both Kim and The Smoker kinda laugh Harry about it)

The organizational element of the idea being likely reflective of the way internalization is akin to paranoia.

Harry is also extremely intimacy starved and I think part of that is due to an unmet need for affection and the desire to be taken care of. That masculinity and status as both a survivor and an oppressor was sorta thrust onto Harry, he was born the last year of the war on a hospital floor, given a name associated with war time and survival, grew up probably in a little street urchin gang, got into *Disco* (man I'm sure Harry brushed elbows with the underground then.) Was a gym teacher a good balance between masculinity and caretaker and guardian something that harry clearly excels at and enjoys. Then Dora encouraged him to be a cop for unknown reasons perhaps prestige, money, because Harry has a bleeding heart.

Engage Heterosexual Cop hell for 12 years then an additional 6 single Cop hell years.

And now you're like :

Another element is Harry's tendency to worship and diefy his partners which like man that's gotta be the subbiest fucking thing you can do. I honestly can't articulate all of the reasons why that's just extreme bottom behavior.

Harry is an empathic jelly creature who is forced to handle a job with dead people in it all day and has created this reflexive hyper masculine obsession to compensate for his perceived inadequacy in not living up to the patriarchal capitalist ideal of what's supposed to be his birthright as a well off, able bodied, 'straight', occidental, man.

Except the actual issue is that Harry is mostly perceived or perceiving himself as that, when in reality he's in clear conflict with his actual identity as a Poor, mentally Ill, bisexual, occidental, man.

And it's those last two that end up kind of making this smoke screen to Harrys deficiency in privilege. He can mask or hide behind being an Occidental Man.

Can buddy buddy with patriarchy and take up the idea of a Big Strong Manly Cop.

Something that Kim also seems to be doing by seeking out positions of authority he can compensate for the disrespect he gets as a Poor, blind, gay, seolite, man.

Last of which probably won't get him far because of how "juvenile" his body type is.

Kim can't really coast on patriarchy much the way Harry can. He has to work twice as hard cuz there's not a lot he can hide behind.

Pursuit for control in the face of denial

Shielding ones self behind control as a means of denial.

Dom/Sub dichotomy.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #kimharry #harrykim #harrier du bois #harryxkim #its a sexuality dissertation bby

240 notes · View notes

saintsenara · 1 month

Note

I know you responded with a meme, but if you're able I'd love to hear your thoughts on harry/hermione 👀

fine. i'll scream into a pillow periodically and get through this...

obviously, i don't actually find the concept of harmony sincerely upsetting - people shipping things is never that deep, and because, as i've said before, i subscribe to the principle that any pairing is possible if you just have enough nerve. i've been recommended some harmony fics by people who are fonder of the ship, and while i've not found them immediately compelling, i do appreciate that there are plenty of people who disagree.

but my feelings are basically the same for harmony as they are for dramione: that it's never done interestingly.

harmony is - like all hermione pairings except [broadly] romione - a breeding ground for fanon!hermione, who is perfect and flawless and so clever she can solve millennia-old mysteries in afternoon. i hate this version of the character because i find her boring - it's just standard self-insert stuff, which is fine but not something i have any interest in reading. i similarly dislike the version of harry who appears in these stories, who ends up - like all men in hermione pairings except [broadly] ron - being either this impossibly sophisticated and suave intellectual with the body of a greek god or a doormat who's happy to shut the fuck up forever and do whatever she says.

[i also hate - obviously, since he's my king - the way harmony stories are often even more egregious than dramione ones in writing ron as a cruel and violent misogynist who is ontologically indistinct from your average death eater. and i think it somewhat proves my point that neither of these ships work particularly well that this character assassination has to take place in order to make them plausible...]

and i think the flattening of harry and hermione's personalities within most harmony is the main thing which keeps the ship from being interesting. because - while i certainly don't go in for the common anti-harmony argument that harry actively dislikes hermione - it's undeniable that there is a lot about the two of them which wouldn't be conducive to a harmonious [lol] relationship.

their communication styles - hermione works through problems by debating them, harry prefers not to be challenged - are the obvious one. their ways of expressing affection - hermione shows people she cares about them by nagging them and meddling in their lives, harry very much does not - are another. they have extremely different views about authority, they decompress in different ways [harry is someone who clearly needs to keep physically active to clear his head, hermione is much more of a homebody], and harry's impulsiveness is a poor match for hermione's fondness for planning.

they are also similar in ways which would cause them to butt heads. both have a tendency towards obsessiveness, which they rely in canon on ron pulling them out of. both have a significant capacity for cruelty and extremely black-and-white moral codes - harry has a tendency towards forming judgements on people and situations based on whether they are people he likes or things he benefits from [i.e. how he's appalled by dobby's treatment because his masters are the malfoys, but doesn't give a shit about kreacher's because his abusive master is sirius], while hermione tends to regard any rule-breaking she does as justified even if she'd regard it as outrageous from anyone else [i.e. her fury over harry appearing to use felix felicis to improve's ron's performance at quidditch when she herself confunded cormac mclaggen to get him onto the team...]. both have a tendency towards giving people the silent treatment when they're angry. both are incredibly stubborn...

and so on.

obviously, they also have positive qualities in common too - a shared loyalty, for one - but it always seems to me that the standard move in harmony is for authors to completely ignore these conflicting traits, either really over-egging what makes harry and hermione compatible platonically in the books or just inventing similarities [especially intellectual ones] to justify the pairing. whereas i would much prefer to see just how difficult it would be for harry and hermione to fall and sustain being in love with each other, and i've never seen that done compellingly.

but the conflict i'd love to see explored in harmony fics most of all, but which never seems to be acknowledged by fans of the pairing, is that [despite the fanon slander that ron is the person who behaves poorly towards her] harry is often horrible to hermione and hermione is often scared of harry.

this is at its most profound after ron leaves the horcrux hunt in deathly hallows, but we see several times throughout canon that - if ron isn't there to mediate between them - harry often treats hermione in a way which can be considered downright cruel. if she criticises him in a way he considers unjustifiable, he tends to side with other people against her [ron in prisoner of azkaban over the firebolt; ginny in half-blood prince over snape's textbook]. if she tries to reason with him he often beats her down with the force of his emotions [i.e. when she tries to get him to think about whether his vision of sirius in the department of mysteries might be a trick] or his convictions [i.e. when he lures her into near-death by being certain that nagini is really bathilda bagshot], and she often ends up having to soothe or appease him when he's the one who's screamed at her.

hermione is also scared more generally of harry's experiences - she's by far the least amenable of the trio to talking about voldemort [even though she says his name earlier than ron does] - and mission, which puts up a barrier between them which will be difficult to bring down post-war. i think there's something which could be really interesting there - the most interesting dynamic in hinny, after all, is when harry and ginny's tendency to not actually be honest with each other is explored - but unfortunately at the minute that sort of character work is drowning in a sea of "ron is so stupid and harry and i just love talking about classic literature, come darling, put on your leather trousers and let us solve world hunger; i look like emma watson" nonsense.

dull!

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #harry potter #hermione granger #i'm not tagging the ship for obvious reasons...

48 notes · View notes

toxicpineapple · 7 months

Text

the big amamota essay

the age old question. why do i ship kaito momota and rantaro amami from new danganronpa v3: killing harmony. two characters who have one mildly hostile onscreen interaction in chapter one, a few interactions via the anthology, and now a shorter than short dr:s scene. is this deranged? maybe. but i've been in the fandom for a long time and as such i've had a while to do a lot of thinking, and kaito and rantaro are my favourite characters of all TIME, which basically means i live in their heads. i am them. they are me. they exist in my heart and brain. even when i eventually leave danganronpa behind, i will be taking them with me.

there are a lot of reasons and we're gonna get into the messy details down below, but for the ones looking for a true thesis style TLDR: i think they could act as a mirror for one another's weaknesses. i think they have opposing strengths that could complement each other. i think they would just straight up get along. i think they embody so many of the traits that the other admires most in people. they could take care of each other SO well. they're both asexual. and most importantly, i think they are both two people who have suffered so much and grew up so fast and together maybe they could have a little bit of fun.

(you know you're in deep when the tldr is too wordy. essay below!)

so one thing you probably don't know about rantaro unless you've done his free time events is that the motherfucker is evasive as hell -- but not to a fault. i'll explain.

first, here are some screenshots from rantaro's free time events with shuichi.

these screenshots are from rantaro's first and second free time events respectively. as early as his first hangout with shuichi, rantaro drops a mention of his biggest trauma, but quickly pulls back when questioned. then he continues to dodge talking about it, even when shuichi tries to inquire further. rantaro is secretive. he has a pretty good reason for this -- twelve missing sisters is a doozy -- but he does eventually open up to shuichi. later on he admits that the reason he dodged talking about it in the first place was because he was terrified that shuichi would judge him or tell him to give up on his search. rantaro is an incredibly dedicated person, so being told that he needs to quit the one thing he feels personally responsible for doing... yeowch. but it's obvious especially from the bonus modes where rantaro does NOT share information about himself that these free time events with shuichi are a rare occurrence. rantaro doesn't often share those kinds of personal details about himself.

which brings us to kaito. the biggest and best example i can point to, other than kaito's repeated attempts at hiding weakness throughout the game (from his ghost fear to his injury to going so far as to try and confront ouma himself rather than wait for the class to save him) is his harmonious heart event.

kaito clearly also struggles with lowering his guard around people. he does NOT want to accept help, especially from his sidekicks, but that's beyond the point of this essay lol. the point is kaito has a repression complex, but there IS a part of him that wants to be heard. he responds most positively to shuichi telling him that he can be weak.

which brings me to my first point as to why these two work so well for each other. we can see here that kaito and rantaro are both incredibly resistant to accepting help from people for their own reasons. rantaro has been doubted his whole life, dealing with a deep inner shame and fear of judgement for his mistakes. kaito doesn't want to be viewed as less-than or weak, but a part of him does want support and validation... do you see where i'm going with this?

kaito is the luminary of the stars! he's THE believe in you guy. if rantaro even started to hint about being a useless older brother, much like shuichi in the ftes kaito would not leave him alone. he'd persist until rantaro opened up, and when rantaro eventually does open up, he'd encourage him. he'd reaffirm that rantaro is doing the right thing, that he CAN do it, that it's possible and that kaito believes he will do it. it's the kind of support and validation rantaro hasn't received from anyone, even people who are well meaning, in such a long time. getting it from kaito would impact him deeply.

now on kaito's end, rantaro is very very observant. in his first fte with kaede he lists off really shrewd observations about miu, kiibo, and korekiyo showing he's good at seeing people are more than meets the eye. which leads me to believe seeing kaito he'd understand that while kaito does genuinely have passion for being a hero, he also has difficulties showing his weaknesses to others. rantaro is very tactful. i believe he would be very patient with kaito and let him open up on his own time, but seek him out. while he's scared of ghosts, while he's sick, you name it. he wouldn't have to say much. just that even heroes have their weaknesses. and i think that eventually, kaito would listen to.

the other part of this is that these two both have incredibly high eqs, so they WOULD be able to see that the other is struggling. they WOULD see that intense fear of vulnerability, of expressing themselves... and they'd recognise it in themselves, especially through witnessing or even dodging the others' attempts at helping them. rantaro is smart, he would call out kaito's attempts at helping him without accepting anything for himself, and kaito would NEVER accept a hand from someone who he couldn't support in turn. and as they get closer they'd start to think... maybe a little bit is okay. maybe if it's for his sake, it's okay. if i can help him, then i'll let him help me.

kaito and rantaro also have complementary strengths! kaito is inuitive, outgoing, vocally encouraging. rantaro is shrewd, observant, and a good listener. kaito is highly trusting to rantaro's distrust. rantaro is measured and careful to kaito's recklessness. kaito has temper issues, rantaro is extremely calm and rational. rantaro struggles to take up space, kaito will boldly make himself the centre of attention. kaito runs hot and rantaro runs cool. kaito conquers the stars and rantaro conquers the earth. kaito is the home that rantaro comes back to after every failed search for his sisters, and rantaro in turn is the home kaito wants to return to when he's out in space. they complete each other. they both have high eq but in different ways, with rantaro skilled at reasoning out why people are the way they are and kaito good at knowing where someone's heart lies. you'll notice this is also the thing they're missing. in canon rantaro never knows who to trust or how people will react to him. kaito struggles to understand ouma because he has no idea why he is the way they is. they can help each other to grow and cover each other's blind spots.

my next point is that they really would just get along! rantaro is incredibly tactful, never the type to be insulting or rude. you can see it in the way they interact in dr:s, when kaito is saying downright ridiculous stuff about looking for rantaro's sisters in space rantaro just thanks him for the help. he wouldn't call him stupid or belittle him or target his insecurities. and on the flip side i think kaito has so much energy and positivity, rantaro would really enjoy that. rantaro is so exhausted and beaten down by the world, meanwhile kaito looks at it with starry eyes. but it's worth noting that rantaro ISN'T a staunch pessimist. he DOES believe impossible things can happen, or he wouldn't be on his search. they would mesh in that way.

beyond meshing, i also think that the two of them really do mirror each others' admired qualities. we see this in the artbook, where rantaro comments that he likes space and kaito says something along the lines of "we should fight!" i think saying that he wants rantaro to join him in fighting the monokumas lol. kaito can tell at a glance that rantaro is formidable and could potentially hold his own in a fight, hence inviting him into the squad. furthermore, just take a look at rantaro's backstory. the dude is an adventurer. he travels the world by boat and survives close calls with spies and assassins -- KAITO WOULD THINK HE IS AWESOME.

rantaro also i think really would admire kaito's passion and expertise when it comes to space. he's a hard dedicated worker and rantaro would be able to tell, as well as recognise his talent in his field. i think he'd really admire that and want to learn more, especially enjoying space himself.

it's also worth noting that we see in kaito's love hotel that his romantic ideal is someone who can challenge him. someone who he admires who will be neck and neck with him... and who better than a seasoned adventurer who hasn't quite lost his spark yet?

as well as admiring each other, i also think kaito and rantaro would just be really really good at taking care of one another. kaito is such a high eq person and a good listener, highly attentive to the specific ways to reach out and comfort people, always there to lend a listening ear when someone's upset. he's really good with his words, and would be really good at offering rantaro pep talks when he's weighed down by his search. kaito is also very physically affectionate as his main love language with his friends, and i think that would really be good for rantaro who is so lonely and withdrawn.

rantaro as well is excellent with his words, perceptive, and caring. we see from his love hotel event that all he wants is somebody he can protect in some capacity. he'd want to take care of kaito and help him more than anything. in utdp we see him bringing back thoughtful souvenirs and making sure to show up for every major school event even with all his travels. he's attentive to other people's needs and what is important to them! he'd love to listen to kaito's space rambles and bring him gifts from all over the world as he continues on his journey.

kaito having someone who will listen to him is SO important to, because so many of his classmates and even his closest friends oftentimes brush him off or call him ridiculous for the things he says. i think rantaro would genuinely enjoy just hearing what he has to say. they pay attention to one another and enjoy spending quality time together. and i think kaito would absolutely insist on helping rantaro find his sisters, too, to the best of his abilities. travel montage :]

this is a quick note lmao but i think that kaito and rantaro of everyone have really strong asexual coding. i made a whole post about rantaro once but the long and the short is rantaro's aversion to sex in the salmon mode as well as his love hotel being nonsexual give me vibes, and then kaito's response to maki's confession as well as the utdp scene where he talks about peeping with leon and hifumi but ends up just talking about adventure the whole time... they're ace4ace. they are so comfortable in their own bodies together.

finally, i really do think these two could just have so much fun. kaito is so competitive! he'd challenge rantaro to all sorts of games and physical tests, bring him along to training, bring him out to enjoy the stars and go for outings. rantaro on the flip side will whisk kaito away to all kinds of foreign destinations and fancy restaurants. they can talk together in other languages and tour america, they can play fight, they can laugh together... i would like rantaro to read aloud to kaito and scratch his hair, or for kaito to carry rantaro on his back and jump into a lake...

it's the little things like that, you know? they just both grew up so quickly. we see how kaito ages in the killing game alone burdened by an illness and all the people who need him. we know he feels that way even outside of a killing game setting. and rantaro has this quest to find his sisters and NOBODY around to support him. when they find each other they can take the weight off each other's shoulders and really just... play. have a good time.

i know i'm insane. i know that there are people who ship these two because they're two attractive hunks or because one of them can take care of the other or whatever but for me it has always been about give and take with these two. mutual exchange. mutual vulnerability. mutual growth. they don't just add to each other, they learn from each other. they don't FIX each other, they CHOOSE to heal because when they get close together, they finally have a reason to. they finally have someone to heal for. they finally have a home again.

thank you. stan amamota for clear skin.

#amamota #amami rantaro #momota kaito #rantaro amami #kaito momota #new danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #kaito x rantaro #rantaro x kaito #momota x amami #amami x momota #amami rantaro x momota kaito #momota kaito x amami rantaro #kaito momota x rantaro amami #rantaro amami x kaito momota #amami rantarou #rantarou amami

82 notes · View notes

purpleheartskies · 5 months

Text

"There's good in everyone"

"I know who I am. You're still pretending to be something you're not."

"I'm becoming someone I don't wanna be. [Robby fixing door knob] I'm hiding the truth from someone I care about."

I recently wrote a post about some of Robby's inherent qualities that show what a good, kind person he is. To go along with that, I want to talk a bit about Tory's positive character traits and about Robby and Tory's relationship. I'm going to focus on Tory outside of her rivalry with Sam because that is only one aspect of her character and arc.

One of Tory's positive and consistent character traits has been her loyalty to those she cares about. It's like Robby said about Tory:

"...'There's good in everyone.' She just needs to be shown the right way."

Tory and Robby both value loyalty. He was loyal to Sam in the probation office and rebuffed what Tory said about Sam not being loyal to him, but when Sam later proved Tory's words right, Robby believed Tory. The look they shared the next day at the CK dojo was telling.

Their convo at the probation office showed some similarities between them wrt their situations. They were "in the same boat". They had both been blamed in certain ways that weren't their fault: Tory was blamed for other Cobras starting a brawl (Tory had only attacked Sam), while Robby was scapegoated for his and Miguel's fight. Neither have adult support (they were each there alone), and both have unstable home lives. They had also both been cheated on. Tory is antagonistic towards Sam but Tory spoke truth about Sam wrt Robby, just like how Kreese and Silver drop truths about Johnny wrt Robby. People brush off the correct things the "bad guys" say about the "good guys" who they've hurt, but sometimes "bad guys" see things for what they are. (This of course doesn't excuse their wrongful actions against those "good guys".) Tory expressed empathy towards Robby here. Another good quality that Tory has. In s5, Tory also had empathy for Devon when Tory heard Devon's story about her mother. Tory may not show her empathy to everyone, but Tory is capable of empathy, unlike some other characters (Miguel, for example).

Some say that Tory isn't a loyal person because she didn't visit Miguel in the hospital. Tory expressed her guilt about what had happened to Miguel, but Tory not going to the hospital to visit Miguel is understandable. She wouldn't have been welcomed there. Everyone blamed others, including her, for what had happened to Miguel, but he was to blame for the situation he had put himself in, not Tory or anyone else. Miguel had assaulted someone, and that person had a natural "fight" response at the end, which was 100% provoked by Miguel only. Tory is not at fault for Miguel's actions in the school fight, nor anyone else's violent actions (aside from Sam defending herself against Tory). Tory didn't ask or encourage others to start fighting that day. She clearly announced her intentions to attack Sam only, and throughout that fight, she stuck to her intentions. Tory was absolutely wrong for attacking Sam, but blaming Tory (or Sam) for the violence of the others, especially her boyfriend, is the typical "it's the woman's fault that the men became violent" bs.

Miguel gaslit Tory at the sushi restaurant. I was proud of Tory for standing her ground because Miguel always tries to put his wrongful actions onto others or downplay those actions. He even lied to her face about only caring about her, acting like he hadn't cheated on her with Sam. (Later on, Miguel doubled down on his false version of the situation by telling Johnny that, unlike Johnny, Miguel is truthful with his ex. That is, Miguel continued his gaslighting narrative about his relationship with Tory.) In situations like the school fight, when someone chooses to become violent, that is 100% on them and not his/her partner's fault. Just like Miguel is not to blame for Tory attacking Sam, Tory is not to blame for Miguel attacking Robby. And to Tory's credit, she has never blamed her actions in the school fight on anyone, not even Kreese or Johnny who were also her senseis. Miguel in turn blamed Johnny completely (gaslighting him in their s3e2 hospital scene), in addition to acting like it was Tory's fault that he had gotten himself into that situation. Miguel said that Tory needs "help", but Miguel had acted violently that day by choice too: tackling Robby while he was stopping Tory, wildly swinging at Robby while Robby crawled backwards to get away from him, even choking Robby at one point, tripping him to stop him from stopping Tory again, purposely kicking Robby into the railing at one point, and then throwing Robby onto the ground and getting his arm in a hold to break it for no reason at all. Miguel may not have pulled out a spiked bracelet, but he'd acted extremely violent towards Robby for no justifiable reason. Miguel needs "help" too, it seems. People (fans and characters) give Miguel a pass because of his injury, but he is 100% accountable for what he did that day, and he has yet to take accountability. Tory has not taken accountability or shown remorse to Sam (yet), and fans correctly call her out for it. But, Tory at least doesn't act like it wasn't her decision or actions to attack Sam.

Many also blame Tory for Miguel using her to make Sam jealous. But just like how Miguel chose to cheat on Tory, he chose to use her in the first place. Tory never told or manipulated him to use her to make Sam jealous, like many claim. She already liked Miguel and wasn't interested in him to get back at Sam. In s2e5, she told him that his video made him look desperate and that girls don't like desperate guys. She told him to act like he was over Sam so that he wouldn't look so desperate. He asked how to do that, and she said to have a little fun. She took him to the empty playground, and they were just having fun (in a pg way) and talking. When he brought up Sam yet again, Tory called him out for it. He said sorry and that sensei told him to go all in and make a move and that he's still figuring out how to do that. She then said to do just that: "make a move". He then chose to kiss her. She never said or implied to use her or "make a move" on her to get Sam back. He chose to use her as his "move". And Tory thought that he was choosing her over Sam, hence her pointed question in the sushi restaurant in s3 about him actually using her when they had dated. (Miguel seems like such a "nice guy". Why would Tory in s2 assume that he'd be okay with the idea of using her? If she'd really offered that he use her, he would have turned her down if he were a sincere guy. It's only after he cheated on her that she realized that he had been using her.) The playground scene in s2e5 is interestingly followed by Robby and Sam's almost kiss, in which he stopped their kiss from happening because he finally had something good going for him after being in a bad situation for a long time and he didn't want to mess things up with her dad. After this, one day Sam purposely picked something cute to wear with Moon's help. When Moon mentioned Miguel, it was obvious from Sam's reaction that she still had feelings for him. Still, she later went to Robby's room and they kissed for the first time. Unlike Miguel and Sam, Tory and Robby didn't get into their respective relationships in s2 while knowing they still had feelings for someone else. Tory and Robby don't use other people like that and don't cheat on their partners.

When Tory was first introduced, she was genuinely kind to Aisha, who is mostly rejected and bullied by others. This tells us a lot about who Tory inherently is. This is also similar to how Robby was kind to Demetri, who's also rejected and bullied a lot. (Tory wasn't exactly kind to Sam when she first met her, but that was out of loyalty to Aisha.) Tory has a lot of trauma and is still experiencing trauma. She has a lot of anger due to her trauma and has a chip on her shoulder, both of which were shown in her first meeting with Sam as well as when she explained to Miguel about her mom getting fired for bringing home leftovers from work. Because of her trauma, Tory got taken in by Kreese's "no mercy" brainwashing. And in Tory's defense, Johnny was not paying attention and didn't really care to really protect any of his students from Kreese except for Miguel. After Johnny kicked Kreese out, Johnny told the students to "show mercy sometimes". What does that mean? When is "sometimes"? Although Tory is 100% at fault for what she did and still needs to apologize to Sam, Tory's primary influence in Cobra Kai has always been Kreese, and Johnny's "show mercy sometimes" lesson was ineffective because he was still advocating for "no mercy" sometimes and he didn't put in the same effort with his other students that he put in with Miguel. This isn't to excuse Tory of what she did in s2 or s3, but Johnny did fail her and his other students by bringing Kreese into their lives and then letting his guard down. At the end of s2, it was absolutely wrong of Johnny to leave his students with Kreese without warning them about the type of person Kreese is. Johnny knows that Kreese is a brainwasher and manipulator. It was obvious that they took Kreese's side because he'd brainwashed them. Johnny acted devastated by their "betrayal" and walked away, but he is the one who betrayed them, not the other way around, because he left them with a dangerous person without warning them about how dangerous he is. In s3, Johnny had shown no concern for Tory or the others still being taught by Kreese and only went to some of his former students when he needed students for his new dojo. Johnny never approached Tory about how bad Kreese is or about leaving Cobra Kai.

In s4, Tory mellowed out a lot. Losing her job seemed to make Tory more careful. Later, she started to get help in her home life and get therapy. She also found a good friend and boyfriend in Robby.

In s4e1, when he challenged the dojo to try to hit him, he'd kept his word when she did hit him even though he'd kind of won already. She then told him not to leave, so he stayed. She already knew that he's a loyal person because of his loyalty to Sam. Here, he honored his word.

At the drive-in, he showed concern about her bad day at her new job but also let her know that he respects her boundaries, which she appreciated. She'd told him earlier that her new job was none of his business.

"I'd ask, but it's none of my business."

At prom, he didn't just listen to her when she talked about why she wanted to win. He genuinely empathized with her.

Tory: "That's stupid." Robby: "No, it's not. I mean, I get it."

No doubt whatever attitude she had towards him in s3 and in early s4 was gone by now, as she'd gotten to know him and that he's not pretending to be something he isn't. Robby just is. Earlier, she hadn't really been interested in his plan to throw her opponent off balance at prom. She just used it as an excuse to ask him out.

Robby: "Did you just ask me to prom?" Tory: "Strictly a tactical move." 😏

They only got together after they both confirmed that they were over their exes, which is better than Sam and Miguel in s2, who started dating Robby and Tory respectively, despite knowing that they weren't over each other. To clarify, Tory and Robby going to prom together had been a mutual decision to throw their opponents off balance and wasn't about either of them using the other to get their ex back. This is different from Miguel choosing to use Tory in s2, without Tory realizing it, to make Sam jealous and get her back.

Tory and Robby are both supportive partners, which adds to them being the healthier couple. They supported each other at the avt, unlike Miguel and Sam. Tory had immediately gone to Robby after his match with Kenny, knowing that Robby would be worried about Kenny. She went to Robby again after he lost, and he came back out to support her, despite his loss.

"Robby... You okay."

"Hey... Good luck."

In s5, when they broke up because of Robby's ultimatum, it really came down to miscommunication between them. Tory shouldn't have used Robby's issues with his dad against him when he first tried to ask her to quit Cobra Kai, but that had been a defensive reaction on her part because she was hiding that she was helping Kreese. Robby in turn doesn't share much about his own issues because of his counterdependence, so it was notable that he'd told her about his issues with his dad. Though he still didn't really tell her much, so she didn't completely understand why he wanted her to quit Cobra Kai. (He had only mentioned that they should quit because of Kreese and Silver, but she had picked up that him quitting also had something to do with his relationship with his dad.) In s4, for example, he also didn't tell her anything about why he understood her reasons for wanting to win, even though he also had some deeply personal reasons driving him to win. (He does attentively listen to people, so maybe he didn't want to make that conversation about himself.) At one point, Robby told Tory that she won the tournament and everything's going good for her right now. This seemed to be a reference to their s3e8 conversation about the two of them still eating shit and everyone else being able to get back to normal, as well as their s4e8 conversation about why she wanted to win the championship. Between the two of them, she's no longer eating shit for the school fight and she'd won a championship (as far as Robby knew). (Throughout s5, there were numerous references to moments and events related to Robby's character story from s1 to s4. Robby's comment fits with those references.) As a couple, they need to and can grow to a healthier place. Robby actively tries to grow, and Tory's open to growing and has grown even though she doesn't actively try to grow.

Tory gets judged for her loyalty to Kreese, but he has been her main influence in Cobra Kai. Kreese had also come through for her in a very meaningful way. In s3, Kreese saved her from having to deal with her pervert landlord. This was an extremely huge deal, especially for a teenage girl in her circumstances. In s4, Tory may have figured out that Kreese had spoken to Amanda, but there's no indication of that. Regardless, he did support Tory in the avt when Silver was telling her to fight dirty. She, like Robby, doesn't have an adult looking out for her, but Kreese did look out for her and expresses empathy towards her. She doesn't know that his intentions are questionable.

Robby of course doesn't know what Kreese has done for her. Regardless, as soon as Robby found out why she was still in Cobra Kai, he made a low-key yet public show of support to her, starting with a sincere apology stating that he'd turned his back on her without understanding her reasons. Of course, she herself hadn't revealed her reasons to him so... yeah, a lack of communication was why they broke up... unlike Miguel and Sam. Sam specifically told Miguel why she wanted a break, but later Miguel admit he didn't understand her reasons and made her feel guilty about it, as usual.

In s5, Tory was juggling her loyalty to Kreese and his Cobra Kai with her loyalty to Robby. She had chosen to stay in the dojo over staying with Robby, but Robby now understood that her ultimate goal was to take down Silver. He had rejoined Miyagi-Do for the same reason. He and his "friends" were trying to take down Silver too. The stone-breaking scene was meaningful because it was about Tory's struggle between doing what she believed was right (helping Kreese take down Silver and take back Cobra Kai) even if it meant sacrificing her relationship with someone she cares about (Robby).

Tory and Robby also accept influence from each other in good ways (and not just in bad ways). In s3e8 and s4e1, Tory opened Robby's eyes about who Sam really is and that she had cheated on him and she uses him to get what she wants. tbf Tory had also been trying to get Robby to join Cobra Kai in s4e1. However, Tory's words were just words, and it was Robby's choice what he did with them. Both times, Robby did rebuff her, but both times, Sam herself proved Tory's words right. In s5, Sam technically proved Tory's words from s4e1 right again. Sam did use Robby to get what she wanted (her dad back as sensei and everyone together) while acting like she'd never betrayed Robby in the first place. At this point though, Robby had started fawning with almost everyone, so he gave Sam what she wanted. In a way, Tory encourages Robby not to be taken advantage of, while also not hiding that she's trying to peer pressure him. She's transparent abour her intentions. After all, she honestly admit to him in s3e9 that she does peer pressure people.

This is another thing to note about Tory. She doesn't like to hide her intentions and is mostly aware of how she treats others. Sam on the other hand uses Robby to get what she wants with zero thought about how it affects him. In s5e5, after Tory said that she's becoming someone she doesn't want to be, she listed the things she was doing that were deceptive: hiding the truth from someone she cares about (Robby), lying to someone she fears (Silver), and delivering anonymous notes that could put people in danger (Daniel).

In s5, Robby may have positively influenced Tory twice. Once was when it came to mentoring and looking out for the younger kids. At the waterpark, Robby had insisted to Tory that Cobra Kai wasn't the right place for Kenny. When Devon joined the flagship dojo later on, Tory immediately was concerned about her doing so. Before this, Tory never seemed to care who was in Cobra Kai, but she'd connected a bit with Devon and wanted to protect Devon from Silver and Kim. Second, in s5e9, although things may have gotten worse for Tory because Kim assumed that Tory was putting her loyalty to Robby over her loyalty to the dojo, Robby's support let her know that someone on the Miyagi Fang side was on her side. Would she have worked with Sam if Robby hadn't already shown his support to her? Sam had rejected Tory's attempt to talk to her the first time. Either way, when Sam came to Tory's apartment, Tory knew that she had Robby's support no matter what because he had gone to Cobra Kai and stood off against Silver for her (and others).

Tory is also open to accepting good influence from adult figures as well. I'm not going to talk about her interactions with Amanda in s4 because that relationship was purely transactional. It was based on "gives" and "takes", nothing more. In s5, Chozen's lesson about honor and winning the correct way influenced Tory's resolve to take down Silver and not accept the empty avt championship that he had bought for her. In the avt, she hadn't wanted to fight dirty and wanted a clean win.

Tory also has the potential to be a good leader. During the leadership training in s5e7, Tory defended Devon from Kim's attack and lost. Devon pointed out that Tory could have won if she'd let Kim get her. Tory said that she wouldn't been a good leader if she did. This was followed by Kenny taking charge with Kyler, fighting him, and then literally stepping on him in order to win. This was after Silver had talked to Kenny about being the leader and following his instincts. Kenny's instincts were to sacrifice his pawn (Kim's word for Devon) while Tory's instincts were to save hers. (This is interestingly followed a little later by Anthony coming up with the group strategy for protecting the egg.)

After Robby's speech at Cobra Kai, Tory and Robby continued to show support to each other. He was concerned about her injured hand, which hadn't been injured when he'd gone to the dojo earlier. She in turn wanted to make sure he didn't break his probation (so she suggested they use her key card). This was in contrast to her trying to peer pressure him into breaking probation in s3e9, which also shows how much she's grown to care about him. He gave her a slightly surprised smile. At this point in s5, no one shows that they genuinely care about what happens to him, but she did here.

They also stood up to Silver together and were the only students to address him in that final confrontation at the dojo.

She did shut Robby down, in a way, at the end when he tried to apologize, but she at least acknowledged that she probably owed him an apology too, which was more than he got from anyone else. (Daniel's apology was followed by him repeating exactly what he'd said in s3, and Robby diverted to talking about his own faults instead of accepting Daniel's apology.)

Tory is definitely one of the grayer characters in the show. Like Robby said about Tory: "...'There's good in everyone.' She just needs to be shown the right way." She has a lot of positive traits like loyalty, empathy, and kindness, but some of her actions have been horrible and inexcusable. She doesn't shift the blame for her actions onto others, but she has yet to take accountability with and apologize to the person she has hurt the most. Since the s4 avt, she's been trying for honest, honorable wins. She also has the potential to be a good leader. Overall, she has shown the ability to grow and has actually started to grow, which is much better than some characters (Johnny and Miguel) who have had no growth, despite having had opportunities to grow. In many ways, Tory is a genuine person in that she is honest even though she's not "nice". She is true to herself and upfront in her relationships.

Tory and Robby may not be at their healthiest as a couple, which of course makes sense given their age, experiences, and traumas, but they're relationship is healthier than Miguel and Sam's relationship, which is just a toxic relationship that should end.

Tory and Robby both value loyalty and are loyal to each other, empathize and genuinely care about each other, and are supportive of one another. Like with many relationships, they struggle with communication sometimes. Regardless, so far Tory has been better to Robby than Sam had been to him. Robby has also been better to Tory than Miguel had been to her (though Miguel sets a really low bar anyway).

I like that overall Robby hasn't been "fixing" Tory and Tory hasn't been "fixing" Robby. They each have "good" in them and have their own journeys that they're navigating. When they're communicating, they're there for each other and support each other, and even when they're not communicating, they respect each other's space and still care about each other.

I'm curious to see what happens with them, individually and as a couple, in the final season. Although I don't think they'll be together at the end of the series, I don't think that's a bad thing either. Tory and Robby need to grow up and grow as individuals first, but once they do, they could make for a healthy couple as adults. Kids like them are more than "lost causes who need wake-up calls". They both have lots of potential. By the end of the series, I would love for Tory to believe that she can be best at more than just karate.

#tory nichols #keenry #cobra kai is robby's story #robby keene

54 notes · View notes

bird-inacage · 9 months

Text

Only Friends: Ray x Sand Character & Relationship Theories

So a fun game I like to play before a series airs, is to speculate on the characters and the possible direction or conflicts that may arise (based only on what we've seen so far). An initial delve into Ray and Sand as individuals and as a couple.

RAY

"Ray is quite spoiled. He wants to be pampered by everyone." Being spoilt often means getting your way, and hence unable to compromise or settle for less. Ray loves attention, which can lead to an inflated sense of self-importance or narcissism. The issue with this is your identity becomes so easily informed by those around you. Without attention to thrive on, Ray may feel invisible or inadequate. And when feeling insecure, they may feel driven to do things to purposely draw attention to themselves (exhibitionist-like behaviour or throwing tantrums/sulking). Attention only supplies a fleeting sense of validation. It's nowhere close to true fulfilment.

A spoilt nature can also manifest as clinginess or possessiveness. ‘This is mine', 'this belongs to me and only me.' As Khaotung puts it, Ray likes being 'pampered' aka doted on by those around him. So when Mew is swiped away by Top from under his nose, Ray is clearly annoyed. This is partly due to Top being his love rival, but I believe it's more simple than that. Mew is his friend. Once Top comes into the picture, Mew naturally spends much less time with him. Possessiveness is the close relative of (petty) jealousy. You don't want 'your people' spending time with anyone else. You ideally want them revolving their time around you, because they validate your existence.

"Be patient with his hot temper, because Ray is easily frustrated." Confrontational, brash, and a loose cannon when angry. Ray seems to react on emotion rather than rationale. If things aren't to his liking, his immediate knee jerk reaction is to act out. Essentially, he's a bit of a brat. "He's going to be straightforward. His words might not be appropriate. Ray might just say what he wants honestly." Ray isn't deterred by formalities or niceties. You’ll get the truth whether you like it or not.

"Deep down, I think he's someone who needs love." "So if you're his friend, he might fall for you too." These points Khaotung shared are the most intriguing in my opinion. It implies that it's not Mew exclusively that Ray could have developed a crush on. It could have easily been another close friend in an alternative version of events. Ray may latch onto others far too easily (especially towards those who give him positive attention and reinforcement, possibly).

SAND

First emphasises that Sand's financial situation has a huge bearing on his character. "He works to earn his living, thus he must be patient when doing things to ensure his survival... he has to work many jobs to earn money". Sand appears to be a musician who side hustles as a sex worker (which is at least two jobs). He has to be resourceful and pragmatic, especially in how to set his priorities in order.

"Sand doesn't have time. He's someone you must approach first." If they say my treat, they suddenly become more interesting to him." It requires more effort for someone to get to know Sand. I speculate that Ray might begin by 'hiring' Sand under the pretence of work. If Sand doesn't have much free time to spare, this would allow Ray to see him if he offers to 'pay for it'. Even though it's in Sand's best interests to pursue connections that will benefit him, he makes exceptions for those he considers his friends. This tells me that Sand has a strong righteous and moral compass. No matter how tough his own circumstances may be, he'll prioritise those he cares about.

"You will see his patience." Patience nurtures a willingness to listen and a willingness to compromise. Patience suggests registered and thoughtful decision-making rather than haste. Unfortunately it can cause others to push your boundaries, under the assumption you'll be more forgiving. In the trailer, he's frequently on the receiving end of Ray's wrath. Everyone has a limit, and it's likely that Ray will test Sand's patience to the point he snaps.

"People around him might sense tension and pressure from him sometimes." It's no surprise that when you live on the edge, you can be highly strung. His circumstances would understandably make him less tolerant to 'first world problems' or unnecessary shenanigans. Sand seems like the type to have a no nonsense policy for mind games. He could be a voice of reason in the series, as we see him trying to talk sense into Nick regarding Boston’s treatment of him. I have a hunch Sand will act out of genuine concern for Ray in a lot of instances, which gets rebuffed or misunderstood as being overly nosy or preachy.

RAY x SAND: Potential Conflicts

Sand's Financial Status

Mew, Ray, Boston and Top all seem to move in the same circles - appearing fairly wealthy. Often seen in homes with huge pools, driving nice cars and dress fairly dapper too. Ray has a ridiculously lavish bedroom (I mean fur pillows??) Whereas I think Sand and Nick may live together, and are on the other end of the spectrum. Sand works multiple jobs and Nick works in a phone shop.

When there is a wealth imbalance, it's common for those lesser off to have a complex around this (being in a position of disadvantage and seen as inferior). "Do I need to pamper you and call you Sugar Daddy? I don't know how to do that." By definition, 'Sugar Daddy' is usually someone older/richer who lavishes gifts on their 'partner' in exchange for sexual favours. Sand's cynic quip is a little dig at their dynamic, alluding to the fact that he doesn't know how to play to those in richer circles.

"It's clear that you just can't take care of what you have." Top mocks Sand in a way that could support this theory. That he can't take care of Ray and support his lifestyle. Ray also says, "You think my life will be better with you?" Which could be interpreted as: 'What value do you bring to my life (when I already have everything)?' It also has an air of 'Who are you to comment on my life when we come from different worlds entirely?'

Ray is High Maintenance or 'Troubled'

"I'll never take someone like you as my boyfriend." Which is Sand declaring: 'You/Your type are way too much trouble for me'. (Famous last words). He also says, "You should save your money for a shrink." Ray likely comes with baggage, bad habits or more serious issues. Whatever this may be, it's very clear to Sand that Ray would be too challenging a prospect as a boyfriend. Though there is undoubtedly attraction between them, Sand's wariness about these issues are strong enough for him to be hesitant about going further.

Another curious detail is in one scene Ray's arm is in a sling, and another he appears to have a bruised lip and cheek. Ray clearly has a volatile temper, which is a probable cause for trouble. But something tells me that Ray may have a far more underlying problem that would warrant Sand suggesting he see a shrink. Anger management issues feels too on the nose.

More Than Just Bed Friends

At the start of the series, Ray is pining over Mew. Somewhere along the line he starts to pursue Sand more seriously instead, though Sand doesn't consider Ray as boyfriend material. "Can you make an exception for me?"

"Can you stop thinking about something else for just one second? Focus on me for once, will you?" Sand seems frustrated that Ray blows hot and cold, which means he doesn't really know where he stands. Ray has either given very mixed signals from the get go or majorly yo-yos after Mew is definitely taken. "Stop poking your nose into my business. What are we to each other?" "Now that you already stepped into my life, I won't let you walk away." One minute he's telling Sand to piss off, and the next he's vowing not to let Sand out of his sights.

The ultimate conflict being 'so, what are we'?

Ray and Sand are referred to as 'Bed Friends' but Boston and Nick are referred to as 'Friends with Benefits'. (I thought this meant the same thing, but is there a distinction? Someone enlighten me if so). In the context of this series, it seems 'Bed Friends' refers to sex that leads to friendship. Whereas 'Friends with Benefits' are two friends that have sex regularly but don't share a romantic relationship.

-----

There will be plenty to analyse as soon as the first episode airs this week. Super interested to hear what others have been speculating is in store for us. We will not be prepared.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends theories #ray x sand #sand x ray #khaofirst #firstkhao #first x khaotung #khaotung x first #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan

158 notes · View notes