#''hey neg how's it going'' baby it's going. pretty much. is what I'm saying here

[neganium]

I need more drawing pads. Like, plural. I absolutely hate running out of drawing paper...

I have enough money for like, one, maybe two, depending on the size of them. But I want pads of a decent (tho not excessive) size, and I want a lot of them... I don't have quite enough to buy certain ones in bulk like I'd like, bc for some reason that's expensive.

Really, I need to get back to drawing on the computer, but that's such an unpleasant experience for me lately; drawing with pencil and paper is just barely more tolerable wrt the desk situation. Also, depending, I could maybe save up for a scanner, with how much some of these bulk packages go for... and how cheap the particular scanner is. hh.

I also really need a new desk. But I have to be conscious of a few things, even assuming I had the money; there's a limit to what I can do presently, wrt to space, and also how the room is currently (i.e. sinking floors is a big issue). My mom wants smth lightweight and easy to move; something somewhat temporary, you know? Whereas I want something... idk, bigger. at least taking up more lateral space than she'd probably like it to... tho again, space is an issue, especially considering the furniture I already have in here. Really, what I'd like to do is just transplant into a different space; start from scratch, as it were. But, you know, rent is a thing; we're paying for far more than this house is worth as it is. But hell if I wouldn't like for us to jump ship out of this slowly sinking, moldering dump someday...

[sincerestlove]

Sunshine - R.R.

'tis a sad, angsty and emotional night for me, girlies. thus, i have produced this sad piece of work. do y'all ever get cripplingly depressed because you love reneé so much and you realize that she doesn't know that you exist? yeah, me too. that's where i'm at tonight. have i been sulking and on the brink of tears for the last 4 hours...perhaps. womp womp.

Pairing: Reneé Rapp x Reader

Warnings: talks of depression, negative thoughts, self-doubt. reneé being caring, sweet and supportive of mental health struggles. please read at your own discretion.

The room was dark.

It had been dark for hours. You weren’t sure how many, but knew it was more than enough. The sunshine was long gone, you were almost certain. You had shut the blinds some hours before crawling into the bed, unmoving since then.

You were hungry, but didn’t have it in you to get up and eat. You were tired, but your mind was too hyperactive to sleep.

You were mentally exhausted.

The weight of an internal battle kept you glued to the mattress, a dull ache settling between your temples. Your stomach felt heavy, though it had been empty for much too long.

Some days, like today, everything felt like too much. You felt alone, you felt lonely, and just wanted everything to go away and leave you to rot.

Right now, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

You had just decided to close your eyes when you heard a soft knock on your bedroom door, the wood creaking as it opened slowly. “Y/N?”

You laid still, wondering if she wouldn’t notice you under the mountain of pillows and blankets and just leave.

She didn’t.

“Are you okay?” The soft voice of the woman you were in love with filled your ears, feeling your chest tighten the slightest bit at the concern in it. You still didn’t respond though, couldn't, and after a moment, the bed dipped beside you. A warm hand sat on your back atop the comforter. “Y/N, can you sit up for me, please?”

You debated the request silently, wondering if you even had the energy.

After another long pause of silence, she spoke again. “Please, baby, for me?”

Another pause.

Then, you slowly sat up, thankful for the darkness engulfing the room, so that she couldn’t clearly see what you looked like. You knew you looked like an absolute train wreck. Taking care of yourself was too difficult right now, on your own. You blinked a few times, attempting to get your bearings.

You felt warm hands come up to cup your cheeks, her thumb pads wiping back and forth. Just then, you noticed your face was wet, and she was wiping tears away.

When did you start crying?

“Hey, love. I’m here, it’s Reneé.” She spoke softly, as if talking too loudly would scare you away. “What happened?”

You blinked a few times more, meeting the gaze of her soft, pretty blue eyes. They looked at you with such love and understanding, it made your tears flow harder. A sliver of moonlight poured through the blinds, casting a gentle glow on her face. She looked so pretty, was all you could think, bangs brushing against her long eyelashes.

Your bottom lip quivered, the familiar feeling of sharpness piercing your throat. “I don’t know. I just think you deserve better than this. Than me.”

You paused, swallowing the lump in your throat, breaking eye contact. “You can be with whoever you want, Reneé. Should be, with whoever you want. You are literally famous. I’m nothing, a nobody.” You felt hollow pang in your chest, eyes glazing over as each insult passed your lips. You truly believed the words you were saying about yourself and she could see that.

The blonde took you into her arms, burrowing her face into your neck. You felt her tears falling on your skin, her hands balling into the back of your shirt. “No, baby, don’t ever say that about yourself.” She pulled back, taking your face into her hands again. The coldness of her rings focused your attention, meeting her gaze again.

Her eyes steeled, boring into yours with pure intention. “None of that is true, Y/N. None of it. You are so beautiful, kind, smart, ambitious and perfect for me. I want you. I need you.”

She spoke sincerely, and you felt an ache watching tears rush down her face. “I never want to hear you say those things about yourself again. Baby, I love you so much. I would give you every single star in the sky, if I could. Hell, you want the moon, too? I'll bring it to you on a silver platter. You mean everything to me, absolutely everything. I couldn’t do life without you, don’t you get that?” She sighed, brushing her slender fingers along your face, tracing your jawline, eyebrows, nose, ears, lips. “You are my heart and soul. Fuck, I wouldn’t be here without you.”

She paused for a moment, coming closer to rest her forehead against yours. You instinctively moved out of your blankets to rest your hands on her sides, feeling her skin on yours. She was warm and pliant. Real. “I know things get hard, baby. Trust me, I do. But you have to talk to me. That’s what I’m here for.” Her nose bumped yours, sweet breath fanning against your lips as she spoke. “You can’t get rid of me, I’m here for the long haul.” That comment got a soft laugh out of you, one that Reneé took as a small victory.

She took your hands into hers, running smooth shapes into your palms. Leaning back to look into your eyes again, she took a deep breath. “You have to talk to me, Y/N. You can’t just run and hide. I’ve been texting you for hours, I was worried sick, so I came home.” You felt a bubble of guilt in your stomach, knowing you should’ve checked your phone at least once. “I am always a phone call or text away, you know that. I will drop anything and everything for you. That’s how much you mean to me.” You nodded slowly, feeling more like yourself again as she spoke to you.

"I’m sorry, Ne.” The blonde sighed again, shaking her head. She pressed a soft, gentle kiss on your forehead, wrapping you up into her embrace. She smelled good, sweet, like vanilla. You deeply inhaled, settling into her lap and nuzzling into the warm skin of her neck.

“Don’t be sorry, Y/N. Just promise me that you’ll talk to me next time, okay? I’m here for you. And if you want to talk to a therapist or need anything more to help you, talk to me, and we will get you whatever you need. I promise. Do you promise?”

You nodded, feeling the dark thoughts and emotions pour out of your body and mind with the tears that were finally coming to a stop. You exhaled deeply, moving yourself impossibly closer to her. “Yes, Ne. I promise. I will talk to you.”

Her body physically relaxed at your assurance - you didn’t realize how tensed up she was. “Good. Thank you, Y/N.” She let you both sit in silence for a while, her whispering affirmations and reassurance into your ear, while you clung to her and calmed down. “What do you need now, sweetheart?”

“Shower. Food. Kisses.” You mumbled, your stomach growling on queue. Reneé laughed, pressing one last lingering kiss to your chapped lips. She didn’t care, she would kiss you every second of every day, chapped lips and all.

“Shower, food and kisses it is.”

You looked up and into her eyes, which were filled with love.

Yeah. No matter how dark your mind could get, she was it. She was the sunshine that would always light your way and bring you back to her.

i hope you enjoyed!

as always, please leave a request :)

i hope you all are doing well and taking care of yourselves. each and every one of you is so loved and cared for. if you ever need to talk about anything, my dm's are always open.

[marshallsgirl]

Don't leave part 2

Pairing: Eminem x Fem¡Reader

Warnings: 🔞 MATURE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Recommended song: The One - Kodaline

Author's note: I'm working on my graduation final project, that's why I haven't been so active lately. I wrote this and I don't know how I feel about it.  I may delete it later or idk. Hope you all enjoy it. I love you guys so much! Sending all of you a warm hug🫂🤍

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January 14th, 2006

It's pretty late at night. I'm watching the news when once again I have to run to the bathroom. I'm throwing up again. I'm feeling sick. I can't even explain why I felt like doing this but...I'm taking a pregnancy test. I bought one earlier this morning but I couldn't do it. I was too scared. But I'm doing it now. I can't be pregnant. I mean...it would be nice to be...No, I am not pregnant. That thing is going to be negative!

The news reporter started to talk. Maybe it got my attention cause they played a song in the background. An Eminem's song.

"Today January 14th at 5pm Eminem and Kim got married for the second time around their fifteen anniversary. Kim said to People Magazine: 'Marshall wanted to do it because it was our fifteenth year together from our original day we started going out'. They repeated their vows from their first marriage..."

As the reporter is talking I'm looking down at my pregnancy test and I found the word "pregnant". And I started to cry. I've been waiting a long time for this moment but it isn't how I imagined it. I just found out that I'm pregnant and that my baby's daddy is married again. Even knowing this I feel the need to call Marshall. But I can't do that. He's probably on his honeymoon right now. He is probably spending such a great time being a family again. I know he did all of this for Hailie's happiness. I know he is trying hard to put his family back together. I can't call him.

So I called Proof.

"Oh, you saw the news, didn't you?"

"No...I mean yes, but I'm not calling about that" I said trying to control my tears.

"Are u okay? What happen?" I could tell he was concerned.

"Well...I kinda need an advice, man"

"Why? What did you do?"

"Nothing...I just..."

"Hey, y/n you can talk to me. We're good friends, aren't we? I don't care what happened between you and Marshall. You and I, girl. We can still be friends"

That made me lost control of my tears.

" Yo, y/n what happen?"

"Man, I'm pregnant" I confess. "Proof, I don't know what to do. I just found out that I am and I saw the fuckin' news..."

"Wait what that...you pregnant? Is it..." he didn't finish the question

"Yes, of course it's Marshall's"

"Shit...you got to tell him, y/n"

I knew he would say that, but I was hoping to be wrong.

"No, I can't do that to him"

"You know him, y/n. If you don't tell him he is gonna hate you"

"I know he deserves to know but he just got married and I know he wants to be happy with his family"

"So? I mean, he can be happy with them and at the same time he can take care of your baby, his baby. I know he'll want to be a responsable dad. You have to tell him"

"Proof, please I just can't...I'm too scared"

"Y/n, I want you to hang off the phone and call Marshall right now"

I needed time. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more brave. But saying this to Proof won't work.

"Listen, I'm going to do a blood test tomorrow just to be extra sure. Okay? If it is positive I'll call him right away"

"If you don't call him by tomorrow afternoon, I'll do it"

"Please, don't. I promise you, I'll call him".

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The blood test confirmed that I'm pregnant. But when I tried to contact Marshall he didn't answered his phone. So, I called Proof and he planned a reunion for us at Marshall's studio.

"Y/n?" he said when he saw me. "Are u looking for Proof? He'll be here soon, actually I'm waiting for him" he added.

"He's not coming. It's me who you are waiting for. I called you but you didn't answerd so..."

"I'm married" he said rapidly

"I know, Marshall. I just need to tell you something important"

"Go on then. I need to go back to my family, you know" it was something weird in the way he said that, like it was something he had to say it to believe it. I can explain it, I just know him too much. But I didn't ask him about it. So, I extended my hand to him. Letting him know that he needed to grab the paper (the blood pregnancy test) that was on my hand. He read it and then looked at me shocked.

"Is this some kinda joke?" he asked. "Why are u doin' this?"

"I am pregnant, Marshall. And listen I just thought you deserved to know. Even Proof told me that I should tell you 'cause if I didn't you'll hate me forever". I started to say. "I know you think I'm doin' this 'cause I want us to be back together but I promise you I'm not. I would never do something like this to make you leave your family".

"You really are pregnant...How long? How are you feeling?"

Now I could tell he was concerned.

" I don't know how many weeks I am. I just found out that I am pregnant, so I have no idea. And I've been feeling sick"

"Let's take you to the doctors then"

So we made a prenatal appointment.

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"The baby is 7 week and 1 day!" said the doctor.

I looked at Marshall's face. It looked like he was counting.

"So, you got pregnant on november 2005..." said Marshall as we both realized that my pregnancy started on the day he left me.

"Which means the due date is September 1st" the doctor told us.

"Oh, a virgo baby!" I said.

"Is it just one or there is more than one?" Marshall asked. I could tell he was really curious.

"I can answer that next week. The next appointment will be an ultrasound appointment, okay?"

I saw Marshall's face lighting up.

"Oh my! Our first ultrasound appointment?" I couldn't wait for that. That's exciting! I'll get to see my baby for the first time.

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In the car on the way back to y/n's home.

"Did you tell Kim about me? I mean, about me being pregnant" I asked. I was really curious to know if she got a certain reaction. But "no" was the only answerd Marshall gave me.  "So, are u going to hide this from her?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's get you something to eat" he said.

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Time went by and Marshall finally told me that things were not good between Kim and him. He assure me that it had nothing to do with me or my pregnancy. Then he mentioned the word "divorce", but made it very clear that he wasn't doing it because of me.

"I'm really happy you are pregnant, y/n. But now it's not the time for me to be in a relationship" he said.

"Are you going to tell me what happened? It must had been something really serious. I mean, you got re-married and now just three month later you want a divorce"

"I trust you, but I really don't wanna talk about it. Can we talk about the baby?"

"What exactly you want to talk about?" I wonder

"Do you feel it's a boy or a girl?"

I really didn't know how to answer that. I've done all the things to predict the sex of the baby and it's pretty even. I mean, I got 50% girl and 50% boy. So, I have no idea.

"They'll call me soon to tell me my results on the last exams I did and they could tell me the sex you know"

"Are you going to surprise me?" he asked and then leave a kiss on my belly. We're both laying in bed. I was to tired to do the normal things I do like cook and clean. And Marshall volunteer to help me. I couldn't say no. For real, even if I say no he would probably throw me to bed and lock me in my room.

"Yeah, I'm going to surprise you. I don't know how yet but I'll do it".

"Okay, then I'mma go buy you something to eat. Any cravings?"

"Can you get me some donuts?"

"Yeah, I'll be back soon" he says and before he leaves he press his lips on my belly once again. "Love you" he added.

"The baby loves you too" I said.

"I love you, too y/n" he says letting me know that  he said it for both of us, the baby and me. He is driving me crazy. I don't understand him. And people say women are the complicated ones. He doesn't want to be in a relationship and that's why he is getting divorce. So, I think he comes to see me and do shit for me just because the baby but then he is telling me he love me?

"Hey! I said I love you, y/n" he was already by the bedroom door. I know he won't leave unless I say it back.

"Stop it! You are going to get me all horny and shit"

"You’re horny preggers, aren’t you?" he says walking towards the bed.

"I’m fat and horny. It’s disgusting."

" Nah, you could be 300 pounds I’d still do you".

Maybe it's because I'm hormonal but I'm touched and I start crying.

"You're so fuckin' romantic" I say

He sitting by the edge of the bed now. He is touching my belly. His touch is soft. I want to say that I love him. But, honestly I'm just to scared to do that.

"I feel it's a boy. And I can't wait to see the way you're with him. You're gonna be incredible"  he says "I love you, y/n" he assures me.

"I'm nervous..." I manage to say

"I'm nervous too"

"No, you are not!" I replied

"Y/n, I'm not divorce yet... The truth is I'm just waiting for that to be done so I can...so that we can try to do this right. You're my home and I'm sorry it took me a lot of shit to finally understand that. You've always been there for me. I've always came back to you, every fuckin' time. I was so stupid. I'm truly sorry. I promise you I'll never ever hurt you again. I won't leave you. I promise for as long as we're together, to never, ever put you through anything like that again."

"Marshall..."

"Wait, I know it's going to be difficult almost impossible for you to forgive me, but please try. Please, y/n. 'Cause I miss you a lot and I love you even more. You don't have to say it back, though. You don't have to say nothing at all right now. I completly get it". when he finished he got up and left the room really quick. He didn't give me time to express myself.

"I love you, Marshall" I said to the nothingness.

A moment later my phone starts to ring. It's my doctor. She started to tell me about my result and how everything was normal and that I need more vitamin C and then she said:

" This also tell us the sex of the baby. Would you like to know?"

"Yes!"

"Would you like me to tell you over the phone or..."

"Over the phone it's okay" I didn't even let her finish her question. I was to excited!

"Over the phone it's okay?"

"Yes"

"Okay, let me open it up...Alright it looks like you are having a baby boy!"

Omfg! I'm crying, now. Marshall was right! Oh, man I'm having a boy!

"Omg, thank you!" I manage to say

"Congratulations!" said my doctor before ending the phone call.

I couldn't wait to tell Marshall. I needed to surprise him. So, I figurate out a way to do so. I grab a white mug, his favorite mug actually (and it's not his but mine). But okay, it's his favorite. And I wrote inside at the buttom of it: "it's a boy". Then I prepared him a mixed berry smoothie.

He came back just in time.

"Here, try this" I said giving him the mug.

"What are you doing out of bed? Why are you holding my mug? What is this?"

"Marshall, just drink it! It's a mixed berry smoothie and...it has the sex of our baby!"

And just as I finished to say that he started to drink it. He finished in seconds! And as soon as he read what was inside, he ran to put the mug on the table and then ran back to hug me and lift me in his arms.

"Marshall, we're having a boy!" I got my arms around his neck. Enjoying that moment. I was crying but all happy tears.

"Yes! Oh my God, what the fuck! Life is crazy!" He kept saying this words. He was really happy too.

"God is so beautiful!"

"I told you! I knew it was a boy! I fuckin' told you!" He said as he put me down.

"Holy shit, I know that's crazy!"

He knelt in front of me and kissed my belly and then said:

"I knew you were in there the whole time. I love you, son"

[jenniferjareauwife]

can you write a JJ x reader based on the song freaks by surf curse

Freaks

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: depression

word count: 692

summary: freaks by surf curse

My heart hurt and my brain was too loud. I stared at the wall, trying to block out my thoughts and any feeling.

"Babe I'm home." My whole body flooded with warmth as I heard JJ's voice. "Where are you?"

"Bedroom." My voice was quiet but I knew she could hear me. She stepped into the room and furrowed her brows once she saw me.

"You doing ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine." I got up and pulled her in for a hug. As soon as she wrapped her arms around me it was like all the negative thoughts and chatter in my brain were just silenced.

"I got some pizza for tonight. How does that sound?"

"Really good." Everything felt so peaceful when she was here. When she wasn't around it was hard. She saw that I was thinking pretty hard about something so she asked.

"Whatcha thinking about my love?"

"I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not gonna leave. I'm staying right here with you and we're gonna watch all three Pitch Perfect's and eat pizza and cuddle-"

"I don't...I don't want you to leave me." She furrowed her brows.

"Honey I would never break up with you, you know that right? I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I know. I just...people don't tend to care at all...when I'm like this." My voice shook.

"Like what?"

"When I'm in a depressive episode." I sniffled and wiped my nose. Her eyes softened with sympathy. "They don't keep in contact...they just leave me, you know? And then when I finally recover I don't have anyone to go to."

"Baby I'm not gonna do that to you, ok? I'm gonna be here for you through all of it." I looked down at my hands. "Hey." Her voice softened even more if it was possible. "There's something else you're not telling me baby."

"You're my safe place." I whispered. "You make me feel better by just being here. You're the only one I can talk to about everything with." She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "And it really feels to good to be true because I've never had that before and I don't understand why anyone would ever want to be with me. Especially when I'm like this."

"Don't say that about yourself. You're amazing." She held my face in her hands. "Absolutely amazing. I love you with my whole heart. There are so many things to love about you and trust me, someday you'll see them." I shook my head and closed my eyes as a single tear fell. She wiped it away and left a kiss in its place. "I promise you. You will see them eventually. Come here." She pulled me in for another hug.

"Being with you is so great and it feels so safe but I'm so scared it's a dream." My voice cracked and shook. "Every time I wake up and you're not in bed I panic because I think it was all a dream and that...you're not actually here."

"I'm here. I'm always gonna be here." She assured me.

"I can't do this without you." I pulled away from the hug and held eye contact so that she knew I was serious. "I can't do it by myself-"

"Shh. I know. I know baby and I'm gonna be here for you, I'm gonna help you through this." She rubbed my back. "I promise I'm not gonna leave you, ok? And being with me is real. Me being here is real. It's not a dream. I'm here for you, always." I nodded. "Do you wanna talk about it anymore or are you ok?"

"I'm ok. Can we watch tv now?" She nodded with a smile, pulling me back against her between her legs. She turned on the tv and put on the first Pitch Perfect movie.

"Just tell me when you're hungry and I'll put in the pizza." She wrapped her arms around my waist, kissing my shoulder and the side of my head.

"Thank you. I will."

"I love you. Don't forget that."

"I love you too."

[bugsbenefit]

i'm mmmmh still thinking thoughts (it's about the poster, of course it is, been fascinated by that since s4)

the last few minutes of every season always drop some major hints for the next season that are pretty explicit in hindsight. some examples

s1 shows the baby slugs Will coughs up that come back in s2, hints El might still be alive when Hopper leaves Eggo waffles out in the forest, and gives Nancy a sweet moment with Jonathan despite still dating Steve, s2 has El living with Hopper and J/ancy going canon

s2 shows the mindflayer looming over the school -> meatflayer is the main threat of s3 (as well as s2 having lumax and mleven dancing who will both be established couples by the start of s3)

s3 ends with the Byers moving away and Max sitting alone in Billy's room, s4 then has the Byers living in California be a major plotpoint as well as Max's trauma around Billy's death almost killing her

and so on you get it. in hindsight there will obviously be some pretty major hints in the last 10 minutes of s4

and some already seem pretty straight forward. obviously the gates opening is the big thing, the UD will be a focus in s5. the camera lingering on the church and Jason's bible quote outside also seems like it's a pretty solid nudge at the vibe in town next season. also things like the hill scene in general with the coupled grouping (doesn't even have to be about "endgames" necessarily, would also make sense as main groups of s5, since they're split into adults, teens (now young adults), and kids (teens) again)

but the whole blood thing going on in the last 10 minutes that comes out of nowhere? i want to know where that is going

we already had a ton of blood in s4, with the lab massacre and nose bleeds for the Vecna victims. so why does the donating blood theme come up after all that, what happens in s5 that makes it warrant the blood teaser (that sounds horrible) when s4 already had so much of it? and it's not just blood in general, there's a very specific focus on "giving" blood, however you want to interpret that

the poster in the hospital room already feels extremely foreshadowy in s4 given how bold it's written, how it's the only legible text on screen, and how it's in the negative space of the blocking the whole time so your eyes are drawn to it

but it's not even just that one poster either. in case you missed that one or didn't bother reading it in the hospital they also give you the blood donations promo table that the shot lingers on, that has so many posters begging for your blood it's not even funny anymore. and hey, even for those not reading background posters, there's 4 separate blood drop graphics so you definitely know they want blood, the show seems to really really want people to acknowledge it

and now they use the same exact poster from these last 10 minutes again? in another location? that's more focus on it than even i expected what are we going for here

be a hero give blood you say? on the show with the constant allusions to being a hero? "heroes" by david bowie, superheroes and powers, "don't try to be heroes" only for Eddie to die when he breaks his own advice? all of s4 was about how you shouldn't try to be a hero and that running away is okay. Max also almost dies when she stops running to distract Vecna. girl you know someone is fucked with that poster, that's a set up screaming for disaster (it's also not lost on me how even the stage show has a focus on blood and !TFS SPOILER! as far as i know Brenner senior even dies after not being able to receive blood donations due to his now abnormal blood type anymore. so there's some weird focus on blood going on even outside of the in show canon now, even specifically about giving blood, or well, not being able to give blood in this case. no one was a hero and gave blood in tfs i guess lmao. what are they cooking here)

the poster is also so vague there's so many ways this can be horrible for the characters. in the actual blood donation to save someone way? would be kind of tame but who knows what lore/plot s5 will deliver. in the sacrifice yourself/get injured to save someone way? or a secret third thing we don't have enough context to guess yet?

be a hero give blood my ass. who's giving blood for what tell me now. also how bad will "giving blood" be for them

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Coming out to the batfam as asexual

A/n: So asexuals are all different, even then I tried to make it as universal as possible but if you're sex favorable (I'm not so that's probably partially why I wrote it like that) this one (unfortunately) might not be for you!

Warnings: Being scared to come out, mentions of aphobia and killing people, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The reader is gender neutral!

Requested by: @bandshirts-andbooks

Ironically for being the world's best detectives no one really caught on

I think the only person who might of is Cass, but it's nothing for sure, she just saw your body language would change slightly when people talked about sex

The first person you tell is Alfred

You were probably having a bad day, maybe seeing some straight people talk about ace people in a really negative way, and perhaps some queer people online who told you, that ace people didn't belong in the community

And people just being shitheads in general towards the queer community and just all these laws being made against trans people everywhere can really wear someone down, right?

So it's the middle of the night and you're in the kitchen crying because it's just been a bad day

And Alfred comes in, "Mx. L/n are you alright?"

After you were adopted you never got Bruce's last name

"Ah, yes! Don't worry it's nothing!"

🥹

All it takes is one raised eyebrow from him and you're quickly defeated, and he pulls out a chair and sits next to you

"Don't let things fester for too long Mx. L/n, you know what happens to your brothers when they do."

Sighing you wring your hands through your hair (something you picked up from your father) "I just-"

"Alfred I think I'm asexual."

"There's a silence and half your brain is thinking maybe Alfred doesn't know what it is and the other half think he hates you now

"Mx. L/n you do not "think so" I'm pretty sure you know."

And that in itself is confirmation that he supports you, the way he's smiling makes you wonder how you could think anything else

Okay next you come out to Cass

Because Alfred slyly told you she might already know

She's supportive and tells you in her own way that she would hurt anyone who isn't

I also think she understands you the most because I headcanon (is it canon???) that Cass is asexual

So she's who you go for to vent, and eventually she'll come out to you as ace too!

Then there's Stephanie and Barbra

Steph squeals; "Another member of the alphabet mafia!" And Barbra recomends a bunch of asexual groups online where they share their personal experiences

While all this fluffiness is happening the batboys tm are trying to get back at you for winning the prank war last week

Naturally they go into your dating history, because why not?

Murder might be committed by Cass after this

There aren't very many people but there's ONE person from your high school days

And thanks to Tim's savvy tech skills they somehow find out you're a virgin

(don't ask)

At this point Damian didn't really know the plan, but he's mostly the distraction anyways!

In the past you had told them you weren't one

High school was not good for your baby ace ass alright?

Meaning they thought it was fair game because they were getting back at you for lying and winning the prank war

Imagine your surprise when at a rare dinner Jason, Tim, and Dick are glancing at each other mischievously

Bruce looks like he has no idea what's going on and Damian (for once) looks oddly innocent

"You know how we use to say Jason gets no bitches" Dick starts up

"Hey!"

"Well little Timmy here." Dick continues ignoring an angry Jay. "Found out you're worse than Jaybird and are a Virgin."

You just stare dumbfounded at their giggling faces

"I didn't know that this was part of the plan." Damian mutters

At this point you were much more confident in yourself and had momentairly forgetten that Bruce was still in the room

Just imagine seeing those faces

when you finally tell them

"I'm asexual fuckwads."

Their faces go BEAT RED

"Oh, um..."

"Also Tim, idk how you found out I was still a virgin, but if you do anything like that again..."

The look on Tim's face - it was very clear that your threat got through to him

Then you remembered Bruce was still in the room

Slowly you turned your head to face him

Instead of saying anything he just gave you a smile

That's how you came out to the Batfam, from being scared, to be a confident badass

-thedelusionreaderbitch

dc taglist: no one yet!

[greta-van-chaos]

hiii can you do a smutty fluffy jake x reader where ur insecure about your body & ur confidence has been down a lot but jake tries to prove to u that he thinks ur actually irresistible 🫶🏼 pls make it filthy the girlies could use it i love ur writing

Right Side of My Neck

Jake Kiszka x Reader

Warnings | Explicit sexual content, cursing, angst, anxiety, body image issues, rough sex, mirror play, hair pulling

Word Count | 2.2k words

Authors Note | I keep saying that I'm gonna write and release new stuff but I have had zero motivation. I have a lot of stuff in the works that im clearing out of my drafts... then its time for me to open requests again!

~

The water sloshes around your body, lapping at your sternum as you make the last step into the pool. Jake is nowhere to be found and so you make your way to the edge so you can set down the two beers you retrieved. Your eyes scan the backyard and the more people you see the tighter your throat gets. So many pretty girls in tiny bikinis, prancing around looking like models.

You've never been a fan of parties but you know that dating a rockstar comes with having to attend a fair share of them. You love Jake too much to turn down an event like this and so that's how you got yourself here, standing on the sidelines rather uncomfortably in a bikini that's way too small and makes you feel ridiculous.

"Hey baby," Jake pulls you out of your thoughts when he makes his way through the water to stand at your side and take you by your hips, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You blink away any tears that had been threatening to fall, clear your throat and wrap your arms around his neck. "Hey! where'd you go?"

"Josh texted saying he needed help with something, turns out he just wanted me to mix him a drink--" Jake rolls his eyes and scoffs "I know I'm the better mixologist but he could've done it himself." You stay quiet, the tears welling up again at how stupid you feel for being insecure and letting it ruin the mood. Jake catches on immediately and places a hand on the small of your back, the other coming up to rest on your cheek. "Are you okay, baby? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine!" You say, a little to excitedly as you wipe your tears away, plastering on a fake smile and wiling your voice not to shake. Of course, Jake doesn't fall for that.

"Seriously, something is up, what's wrong? You can talk to me."

All at once the buzz of the party becomes far too overwhelming, all of the chatter now zoning into the anxiety department of your brain. "Can we go somewhere quiet please? It's so loud."

"Of course, here--" Jake slips his hand into yours and begins to wade his way through the water, weaving around the heaps of people that have flocked around his brother Sam who just waded his way into the water. Once out he leads you into the house guides you up the stairs. You can barely navigate the house you're in but Jake pulls you along as if he's lived here his whole life. You're not even sure he knows who's house this is.

"Do you know where you're going?" You keep a firm grip on his hand but something in you falters when he stops in the middle of the hallway as if contemplating where he is.

"Not really. I came up here earlier to go to the bathroom, I just can't remember what door it was."

Despite his words Jake very confidently reaches for the handle of the closest door and pushes it open to reveal a very expensive looking bathroom. He gently pulls you inside by your wrist and shuts the door, clicking the lock behind you.

"Do you want to sit?" He motions to the marble edge of the bathtub that looks like its built in to the wall. You shake your head and stay standing in front of him, arms crossed over your stomach. He tsks and moves them away, taking each of your hands in his own. "What's wrong?"

The tone of his voice makes it very hard to keep your composure. He sounds so goddamn concerned and although you love him for it, it almost makes you feel worse for the negative thoughts about your body cropping up in your brain.

"I just--" Voice cracking you pull your hands back and hide your face behind them, shielding your eyes from his concerned stare.

Jake reaches out to stroke your arm, "It's okay, this is a safe space, you can tell me anything, baby, anything."

"I know-- god-- I know! I just feel so stupid."

You dare to glance at him and his eyebrows are drawn up in worry, why do you always have to do this? Jake stays silent and bids you to continue with a nod of his head.

"Everyone here-- Everyone has such nice bodies, they all look so good in their bathing suits and-- I just--" You sigh, not really wanting to finish the sentence and hoping he can piece it together himself like the ever intuitive boyfriend he is.

"Oh, baby..." His face falls and your heart clenches in your chest.

"I'm sorry-- I don't--"

"Why are you apologizing?" He takes a step towards you, pulling your wrists into his hands and rubbing over them soothingly with his thumbs. "You never have to apologize. If anything I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to feel like that."

"I just wish I was as beautiful as all of the other girls."

Something in his eyes changes and it's just barely noticeable. If it was anyone else with Jake right now the shift would go under the radar but you know him inside and out. The energy in the room is flipped on it's axis, thick tension seeping into the air between you.

"Are you kidding me?" He says it almost accusingly but you know him better than that, if anything he sounds... territorial.

"I don't understand why I don't look like them-- Why my body isn't--" A sob chokes you up, catching in your throat and you have to look away from Jake.

Silence overtakes the room, so potent that the only thing you can hear is you own heavy breathing. You can barely stand to sneak a glance at your boyfriend and when you do the expression on his face is chilling.

"Do you seriously not see how fucking gorgeous you look?" His voice has dropped an octave and the look on his face is one of pure lust. You want to be offended by the tone he's taken on but you can't help the warm tingling feeling that's sparked to life in your stomach. The atmosphere changed so quickly that you almost didn't notice it but nevertheless you welcome the change.

"Jake--" You breathe, stepping back and pushing yourself up against the counter.

"I'm serious, you look fucking perfect. Here--" Without warning Jake steps forward and slips his arms around your waist, turning you so you're now facing the wide mirror above the sink.

The sight your met with is not something you'd consider attractive but with Jake's wandering hands and the hot kisses he's trailing down your neck you can't seem to form a proper thought.

"You. Are. Beautiful." He mumbles against your shoulder, in-between kisses. Slowly, his hands trails down your stomach, to your bathing suit bottoms. They're tied tightly on each hip and when his fingers play over the small bows you secured earlier when getting dressed his eyes meet yours in the mirror, asking you silently for permission.

"Please, Jake." Your fingers card through his hair, pulling his mouth against your neck harder and forcing you to arch your back when his body is pulled tighter against you.

He takes his sweet ass time pulling the strings of your bottoms to loosen and eventually let them fall off of your body. From there he kicks them away and caresses your stomach, gently running his fingers over the skin.

The ripple of goosebumps that covers your skin only spurs him on further. Carefully and so incredibly slow, he drags the tips of his fingers in small patterns over your stomach, dipping just low enough to send a chill down your spine but not quite low enough to quell the heat blooming between your thighs.

"Look at yourself," He whispers. "You're a goddess."

Reluctantly your eyes scan your body and as you watch his hands move over you you feel a bit more confident. Not to mention how the way his gaze is devouring you makes you feel, just by looking in your direction he makes you feel sexy. When his hands travel to your shoulders and down your back you're already nodding, almost begging him to bare your naked body to him. The speed in which he removes your bra greatly contrasts how slowly he slipped off your bottoms, his fingers hungrily work at the ties until it falls away and he can cup your breasts, kneading the flesh. You press yourself against him and can feel the very obvious bulge in his swim trunks against your ass.

"That's what you do to me baby, you're perfect. I never want you to feel any other way because you really are perfect."

"Thank you, Jakey. Thankyouthankyouthankyou." The praise slips past your lips like a mantra and seems to be the only coherent thought you can manage. His wandering hands make it very hard for you to focus, so much so that you tip your head back and close your eyes, letting the fuzzy feeling of lust take over.

"Look at yourself. I wanna see you looking or I'll stop what I'm doing. You're so beautiful baby, just look and see."

When you reluctantly pull your gaze back to the mirror and meet your own stare you want to cringe away but then you feel Jake's hand between your legs and you watch as he circles your clit with an unmatched care.

"Wanna feel you, Jake." You whine, reaching back to thread your fingers through his hair.

Through the mirror you watch one of his hands come up to cup your breast while the other continues to work between your legs.

"You can feel me baby, i'm right here." He taps your clit lightly with his fingers before going back to his earlier motions.

"No, no, Jake, want your--" A moan rips through your chest when he sinks two fingers into you and without thinking your head tips back.

"Nuh uh baby, eyes on the mirror." He truly does completely stall any and all movement until you're looking at yourself again which makes you groan out of frustration. "So fuckin' needy, baby. Who got you all wound up like this? Hm?"

"You Jakey, please. Want you to fuck me. Pretty please, baby" Your words come out stuttered and breathy which makes him smirk.

"Well only cause you asked so nicely."

He removes his hand from between your legs to free himself of him swim trunks. His other hand still holds it's grip on your breast and in a teasing act he pinches your nipple lightly. You yelp and without warning he pushes into you, filling you up completely and pushing you down against the counter.

"Look at yourself, baby. So fucking pretty. So perfect."

You can't speak, you can only whine and moan as he fucks into you, wrapping a hand into your hair and pulling you up enough that you can still see yourself in the mirror.

"You're my pretty baby, aren't you?" He fucks you harder, his hips slamming against you and knocking your body into the cool marble top. "Say it."

Breathing wildly and barely holding onto anything as your own hips are rammed into the cabinets you meet his eyes in the mirror with a questioning look.

"You heard me. Fucking say it. Tell me you're my pretty baby."

With a high pitched moan you barely breathe "I'm your pretty baby, Jakey."

He groans and his eyes roll back into his head, hips faltering slighting. "Say it again, say that you're my pretty girl. Fuck--"

The only sound filling the bathroom is the slapping of your skin and your collective moans. Any passersby would very quickly be able to come to the conclusion of what exactly was happening behind the door.

"I'm your pretty girl, I'm your pretty baby"

"Yeah you are, baby."

You actually find it pretty easy to keep your eyes on yourself through the mirror. Although your eyes do stray behind you to view how fucked out Jake looks as he thrusts into you and holds your hair in a fist, every once and a while jerking you back a bit, you don't mind looking at your own body and face. There's something so incredibly sexy about being made to watch yourself come undone.

"You close?" He breathes, pressing a hot, sloppy kiss to your neck.

"So close." You cry, holding the faucet the keep yourself grounded.

"Touch yourself for me."

Without a second thought you slip that hand that isn't around the sink between your legs and within a few circles you can feel yourself nearing the edge of your orgasm. Your so close you can barely get the words out to warm him.

"Gonna cum, Jakey, please--"

"Go ahead, baby. Let it go for me."

When you finally are pushed into the tidal wave that is your orgasm, the last thing you see before your eyes close is Jake's blissed out face as he finds his own release in tandem with you. He can be so angelic and beautiful during even the most unholy of moments.

He continues to push into you, riding out your high as you come down as well as his own. You feel him let go inside of you and a sigh leaves your lips at the sensation.

When he finally does pull out you both wince from the overstimulation and loss of contact. Immediately he grabs some toilet paper to clean you up and helps you to sit on the counter.

"You are the most beautiful person on this earth and I never want you to doubt or forget that. Okay?"

"Thank you, Jake. I love you."

"I love you too." He whispers. In contrast to the heated affair you had both been lost in moments ago, he gently presses his lips to yours and brings his fingertips to massage over your scalp where he was holding your hair. "Was that okay?"

"Better than okay." You smile, kissing the tip of his nose.

After you both have a minute to regroup and eventually redress, he helps you off of the counter. "We should probably get back to the party, is that okay? Or do you want to just go home?"

You reach up and kiss his cheek, "We can stay."

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[yellowkitkieran]

desperately asking you to write a little something about comforting kieran after yesterday 🥺💔

You quietly push open the door to the medical suite. It's near silent, which is how you know it's bad.

"Hey," you murmur, doing your best to smile. "Lads all are pretty worried. Is it okay if they come check in on you? Even just Andy?"

Kieran says nothing. His gaze remains fixed on the wall across from his uncomfortable exam table, glazed and red.

"Alright, no lads, got it." You poke your head into the hall again and let Andy know to come back later. Scotland's captain is a wise man, and he trusts you to look after his friend so he squeezes your hand and let's you take care of Kieran.

A rolling stool is the only seating in the room aside from the table Kieran occupies. You roll to his side, rest your head on his bicep and slide your fingers across his palm to lace with his. "How's the pain?"

"Bad." Kieran's voice is raw. "Better with whatever they gave me."

"That's a positive at least. Did they say what it was?"

"Hamstring."

"Ah, that's what I thought. Better than the worst case scenario." Neither of you dares to voice said scenario for fear of eliciting some sort of curse. Knee injuries are far more daunting than muscular ones in most cases. A hamstring is fixable; while he'll be out of the tournament and preseason, he should be able to play a decent amount of football in the upcoming season.

As if Kieran knows your thoughts, he murmurs, "I'm not sure I should keep playing."

"Do you remember when I wanted to drop out of school? When you told me I wasn't allowed?"

Kieran nods. Of course he does- you were nearly finished with your degree and had only a few classes left. But a few terrible marks and shoddy professors had you read to quit the whole thing and live like a nomad for the remainder of your life. Kieran had been the one to talk you off the ledge then. You'll do the same for him now.

"You told me I'd invested too much time into myself to give up so easily. You promised me that knowing my own worth was more important than what any professor thought of my assignments." You lift your head and meet Kieran's eyes, knowing it'll be more impactful if be can see that you believe in what you are saying. "You're not done. Yes, you've had a lifetime worth of injuries already. But you're not finished- that wasn't meant to be your final performance. You have too much left to do, too many goals to score and blocks to make. A few days from now you'll be begging to be back in training, I know you will."

Kieran's throat bobs. You smile, brushing his hair back and kissing his forehead. "And this recovery? You're not going through it alone. Every lad out in that changing room is rooting for you. They'd all jump at the drop of a hat to help you. And you have me, too. I'm not going anywhere- I'll be right here the entire time. Through thick and thin, alright?"

The tears in Kieran's eyes aren't from sadness. They are born from the hope that remains buried deep inside his chest. You brush them away with your thumb when they spill onto his cheeks, following up with a soft kiss.

"You promise I won't be alone? Even if they say I can't ever play again?"

"Baby, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." You grin, happy to see the corners of his mouth lift.

"I love you."

"I love you too, even if sometimes you are Mr. Negative."

[misc-obeyme]

Hey, CC Sorry if this is a weird question but how do you deal with weird anons? Generally, the asks/requests I get are very nice and sweet but every once in a while, I get an ask where I'm just thinking... what?

Sometimes it's NSFW where it's pretty easy to just say "Sorry I'm not comfortable with that" but other times it'll be talking in a cutesy/baby language or something.

I don't want to be rude/impolite or ignore them but I genuinely do not know how to reply to some of them. Once again sorry but you get a lot of asks so I was hoping you might have some wisdom to share!

Thank you and have a nice day. <3

Hi there, anon! Don't you worry, this is not a weird question lol. I've been told multiple times before that I'm incredibly patient/chill about weird anons.

Let me start by saying that you are never under any obligation to answer asks you're uncomfortable with. You're putting yourself out there by running your blog, but anons have nothing to lose by coming into your ask box.

That being said, here's how I approach asks!

I assume everybody is genuine and that we're all here to have fun. It's all very lighthearted to me, so I don't worry too much about things in general.

If I get an ask where I don't know what to say, I say that. This almost never happens because I always have plenty to say lol. But I'll usually say stuff like "I'm not sure about this" or "I don't know anything about this" because sometimes I just don't!

If it seems like the ask is not about anything relevant, I answer with jokes. Like the time someone asked me about Mayor McCheese being a dom or a sub. Or the time someone just left a paragraph of meows in my ask box. This is an Obey Me blog so I might respond with Obey Me related jokes, but in general I just say something silly and move on.

When an ask is kind of hard to understand because of the way it's written, I focus on the question/point they're trying to make. This can lead to misinterpretation on my part, but I do my best so I don't feel bad about it. They can always clarify with a follow up anon if they want.

Just be yourself! A lot of times I respond with my initial reaction, whatever that may be. When people send me asks, I assume it's because they want to interact with me and that's inevitably going to include the times when I don't understand what they're asking.

Also it's important to keep in mind that unless it's an established anon with a sign off, you have no relationship or prior understanding of that person at all. It's like a complete stranger stopping you on the street and asking you a question in baby language. That would be extremely weird. You might feel like you're in danger, even. The difference is that the internet separates you from that person physically and it keeps that veil of anonymity in place, at least for them. It's still an awkward situation, but the stakes are lower, especially for the anon.

This is why I always assume good intentions and respond that way. Because even if the intentions were bad, I get to choose how I respond and I prefer positive interactions to negative ones, generally speaking. It's like a way to take care of myself, you know? But also, people with bad intentions are often surprised by kind and genuine responses. I can't know that person's history. Maybe they never had anyone take them seriously so they leaned into it. Maybe they genuinely just enjoy messing with people. Impossible to say! So I just respond the way that makes me feel like I'm being true to myself. And for me personally, that includes an almost complete lack of judgement.

I hope some of that helps! We're all different and what works for me might not work for you. So I think it's important to remember that your blog is your online space. And you shouldn't feel like you're being rude if you set some boundaries with anons. That might include deleting asks that make you uncomfortable or turning off anon altogether. It's a two way street and people should be able to respect that.

[mabelstone]

Promises

matt stone x reader

part two of handsome stranger <3

masterlist ✧˖°.

note: i am such a sap this heals something deep within me. enjoy babies, hopefully gonna post more but don't hold me to that.. also sorry for all the typos in part one hehe. aiming to do some of your song reqs because there are SO MANY, anyway love ya

word count: 1278

Last night was more fulfilling than words could express and you couldn't stop reminiscing. The way he said your name, enunciating it with his accent, each vowel that dripped from his tongue sweet and thick like honey. He was so respectful, so obviously not trying to push any boundaries. You wanted so badly to touch him, to interlock your fingers, feel his lips on your own... only somewhat satiated when he hugged you goodbye, his big arms around you, so warm and gentle. He smelt so nice, not necessarily of cologne but maybe his sweet pheromones. It sounds weird when it's put like that but it's all you could think about.

Thats why you were thankful to be walking through your apartment door at 5pm sharp, a chance to see that sweet smile through the window again. You exchanged numbers last night but he hadn't messaged you yet. You were a little worried naturally that maybe he didn't enjoy you as much as you did him, but you tried your best to ignore the negative thoughts and enjoy your evening.

You opened your window and were surprised to see Matt leaning out of his, cigarette between his fingers as expected. Not wanting to disrupt him you eyed him for a moment, before walking away to start dinner. Then you phone buzzed.

Matt: She's home!

Matt: And she didn't even say hello

You giggled down at your phone, walking back to the windowsill to shoot him a shy smile that was reciprocated with a wave.

You: hello :)

Matt: What's for dinner?

You: what do you feel like?

Matt: I'm invited?

You: always

You glanced up to see him cheesing at his phone, looking up at you before clutching a hand over his chest. As someone who was very bold in her early twenties, this was incredibly vanilla for you, but something about him made you a whole new level of shy. You were worried to mess anything up with him already, and you'd only just formally met the guy.

His caller ID flashed across your screen, answering with your eyes locked on one another.

"I'm thinking something simple, like pizza," he beamed through the phone, his voice just as warm as the night before.

"Thank god, I have no food," you laughed, nervously fiddling with the cord of your blinds. "I'll send you some money if you know a good place."

"No, no, my treat to you." He offered, gesturing no with a wave of his hand. Oh no... you were going to fall hard for this man. "I'll go get it now and I'll bring it up to you. What do you like?"

"Uh, anything," you smiled down at your hands, now toying with the hem of your skirt. "I feel bad... I owe you one."

"You go get all cosy for me and we'll call it even." And with that he hung up, taking the final drag of his cigarette before waving goodbye and slipping back into his apartment.

You quickly collected yourself and got in the shower, that stupid grin not leaving your lips once. You opted for this nice white dress you owned considering he'd only seen you in your work clothes and pyjamas. You lit a few candles and put on some soft music in the background.

As a knock sounded from the door, Ho Hey by the Lumineers started playing. You rolled your eyes, how cliché. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, nothing special, but wow. You played it cool while your organs were doing acrobats in your stomach, opting for a soft, "hi, Matt."

"Hey, pretty," he smiled as you moved out of the way for him, placing the pizza on the kitchen bench. "It smells so good in here," he sighed, eyes scanning over your apartment as he leant against the bench.

"Caramel," you smiled, grabbing a candle to hold to his nose. "I used to make them when I first moved here to pass the time."

"Do you have any spares?" He asked gently, eyes not leaving yours once.

"Mhm," you disappeared into another room to give him one with a ribbon wrapped around the jar. The look he gave you was incomparable, and for a second there, you were certain he felt the same. "So, what'd you get?" You tried to pierce through the delicious tension in the air that you were far too sober for.

"I didn't know what you liked, so I got one of each." He opened one of the boxes to reveal a full pizza with mismatched slices.

"That is so sweet," you swooned, fighting every urge in your body to not attack his lips with yours right then and there. "I- do you like wine?"

He made some comment about how he'll drink just about anything, which led to the most pointless yet captivating conversation about your social lives. You wanted to know everything and anything about him, he was singlehandedly the most magnetic person you'd met in this country.

✴︎✴︎✴︎

You'd been sat comfortably on your couch for 3 hours by this point, although it had only felt like 15 minutes. So comfortable, in fact, that your legs were now sprawled over his as he played with the charms on your bracelet.

"I'll be going back home for Christmas," you answered his question on what your plans for the holidays were. You felt kind of shitty considering he told you about how he doesn't see his own family much. He pursed his lips and nodded, to which you sat up beside him, hoping to lighten the mood with, "but I really wish I could see snow. It'll be summer in Australia."

"You've never seen snow?" He sounded shocked, brows furrowing in disbelief.

"Nope. Sometimes in winter there, the days are too warm to even wear a jumper. But the nights are freezing."

"Jumper?" He asked confused. This was what most of your night consisted of. You'd use a word that he didn't understand, which resulted in you americanising it.

"Sorry- sweatshirt." You laughed.

"Oh!" He laughed too, nodding. He'd eventually learn your tongue. Double entendre maybe? "But really? I practically lived in snow growing up in Colorado."

"I'm so jealous!" You groaned, throwing your head back dramatically. "I've always always wanted to, and of course I'm not gonna be here when I finally get the chance."

"Don't worry, kid." He reassured you, his hand finding the back of your head to smooth your hair down. "I'll take you to the snow someday."

"Yeah?" Your voice lowered as your eyes connected yet again, each of your different shades of green starting to be disappear behind growing pupils.

"Promise," he nodded, eyes shifting between your gaze and your lips, before the space between you diminished to nothing. You closed your eyes as you melted into him, his lips warm and soft, the vague smell of cigarette lingering intermittently. You moved together synchronously, his warm hands guiding you into his lap gently, your own finding themselves nestled in his hair, travelling down to cup his jaw. You parted your lips slightly in invitation, one he silently accepted as your tongues danced with one another, the feeling of his soft breaths tickling your upper lip. He tasted like wine, and he applied the perfect amount of pressure with his arm wrapped around your waist, tracing gentle circles into your sides.

You pulled away briefly, arms draping his shoulders as you grinned ear to ear, "I'll be holding you to that, you know."

"I'm a man of my word," he whispered, placing a chaste but sweet kiss to your lips. "You'll learn that, I promise."

awhhh so cute. sex next chapter lol xx

didn't proof read again, forgive me i'm lazy

[luvlovesex]

Temptation Chapter 0

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐮𝐯𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐱

‎‧₊˚✧[𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲] ‎‧₊˚✧

A College urban love- When attending the annual homecoming party Kyi'anna was faced with her bf Andrew and the freshman she mentored back in high school doing the deed at her college homecoming but after that the options were given and the temptation rose.

"Alexandra cheer up tonight is your first college homecoming." I said rolling my eyes at my friend sitting beside me as not my nigga by Ken the man played in the background of the car.

"I'm fine, I'm just a homebody you know this Kyianna ." She responded. "I would much rather be cozy in my room than squished up against people who are just bumping and grinding like some fucking dogs in heat.

She nagged and let out an irritated sigh as she checked her makeup in the passenger mirror. I know but it will be fun, Sai, Melo, Mya, me, and Andrew will all be there, and this is your first homecoming too, girl come on." Her face brightens, "I guess then, Kya if this shit ain't turnt you owe me wingstop after." She remarked. "Deal" I agreed.

"Welcome to Malcom Wayed homecoming are y'all ready to turn up tonight!" "If you are let me hear a skeeyee." The crowd roared with the phrase and the DJ played Skeeyee to blend in with the crowd's chanting.

"Look the shits already turnt and it just began five minutes ago." I chuckled as Alexandra and I walked in "Yeah but look at all these people" "Cause they're having fun stop being negative anyways there Sai and Mya come on."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her near the table our friends were lounging in. "Hey y'all" I spoke to them. "Hi everyone" Alexandra chimed in after me. "Hey, Kyianna and Alexandra we ordered a couple of drinks they should be here soon." "Oh I'm not drinking tonight" Alexandra declined.

"Why not?" a male voice echoes from behind us "Drinks on me all tonight." My boyfriend Andrew said, wrapping his arms around both me and Alexandra "Hey baby" I said laughing at my tipsy boyfriend "Hey Kya" he pecked me on my cheek "Hey Alexandra" he spoke

"So you're not drinking or what?" he teased her "Any drink you want is on me tonight Alexa," he told her "I guess I'll have a couple of shots," she said looking away. "Great, Ayy Rob bring me about 25 shots of tequila and a bottle of henny and some pink Whitney for the ladies he requested!

Some shots later

"Imma go use the restroom" I spoke. "You want me to come with you?" Alexandra asked "Nah I'm okay keep enjoying yourself I'll be back I won't go too far," I said a bit sluggish knowing how much of a lightweight I am. "Okay," she responded I stubbled my way out of the booth walking against the crowds of dancers.

As I walked I happen to trip over a pair of feet my heart fell to my ass at that moment trying to catch myself luckily I felt a pair of brass hands grip my upper body and my waist before I hit the ground. I looked up to make eye contact with a handsome face. We made eye contact for the slightest but once I came to my senses I pushed him off knowing if Andrew saw me like that he would just fall out.

"Sorry about that" he apologized after the slight shove I gave him to release me "It's fine my bad tho" I responded. "Well, you look pretty how about we get a few..."

"No thank you!" I responded loudly and walked away still on the path to find the restroom after minutes of looking,

S: "Trying to play tough huh Kya"

Finally, I found it as I reached for the knob it was locked and I noticed a moaning and groaning coming abruptly from the inside. I gave the door a bit of a knock not trying to cock block but I for sure wasn't going to pee on the floor of a Malcolm Wayed homecoming.

"One second" an out of breath woman spoke out as sounds of shuffling followed after. Out comes Alexandra a smirk crossed my face when I saw the back of my rose colored dress I lended her slightly zipped down.

"Guess you won't be getting WingStop tonight, huh Alexa?" I spoke, and horror came across her face when she turned around she let out a soft "I'm so sorry Kyianna" I was confused until I saw Andrew come out right behind her fixing his zipper. "You guys didn't" I spoke.

[9w1ft]

thanks 9wing! i fully respect your interpretations of those songs as kaylor anthems - in fact, i'm reconsidering my stance on mastermind now 😅 it always felt like blank space 2.0 to me, but your analysis has helped me to see it in a different way. i am someone who is always open to multiple interpretations of the same song, so i hope our thoughts can co-exist if they're different or even contrary! instead of blown out analyses, let me share what parts of each song made me interpret it as bearding songs.

blank space -

"i can make the bad guys good for the weekend" — image control. taylor can make swifties hate or love anyone with the snap of a finger. her beards are benefitted from being with her by gaining popularity to support their works and/or to hide their own gay rumors too. once they're 'exes,' however, they're back to being the bad guys in swifties' eyes. (exceptions excluded)

the entire "cherry lips, crystal skies" verse, to me, feels as if she's trying to impress the general public with their theatrical relationship, and not quite her beau himself.

the main line "i've got a blank space baby and i'll write your name" itself, coupled with the typewriter beat, provokes imagery of bearding contracts. fun song!

cowboy like me -

her beardin' beau is hustling for the good life with stars in his eyes. "perched in the dark" makes me think that he's pretty much a very underground celebrity if we compare fame to light (another name goes up in lights - i can still make the whole lights shimmer - flashing lights). he doesn't want love, he wants a fancy car - a materialistic perk of being a well known entertainer or celebrity. taylor herself is also ambitious and she's at a point of her life where she wants to be taken seriously, so she really needs to display herself as someone with a stable love life. that's how they show 'forever' as their sweetest con.

"now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon" — i can't remember who, but another gaylor pointed out that this lyric provokes the imagery of a literal facial beard.

invisible string -

now this one's a bit sad, i always had a soft spot for this song and i hate to taint its innocence! anyway.

she pretty much shows how different their lives and motivations are in the industry - she wants love, he wants money. she thinks how pretty things could be if the universe aligned them, but really, she knows all too well that's very much not the case. all of this was arranged.

however, i like to interpret the "bad was the blood" verse could be a hint at karlie and their relationship, since karlie was the first person who heard 1989. although i do not know if it would make sense, but hey! that verse actually shows similarities, whereas the first verse did not.

lavender haze -

"staring at the ceiling with you" — business meeting, sitting in those formal black spinny chairs. they're both just kind of bored and staring at the ceiling, since they could technically have that employer-employee relationship.

"you don't ever say too much" — the interviews. they're sooooooo private. he's sooooo magnificently charismatic.

"you don't really read into my melancholia" / "you weren't even listening" — i could get how this could be interpreted positively, but i'm a negative nancy so i predominantly interpreted this as him not giving a shit 😅

"talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral, get it off your chest, get it off my desk" — 'for the love of god, my dude, please say something a little bit more and be more convincing, i need us to be trending and to be seen as the industry titans. got it? cool, now go practise that smiling for photos exercise tree gave you and leave my office, i now need to combat the foot fetish allegations and wipe my desk clean before tree gets here.' i have a very wide imagination as you can see.

"no deal" sounds like her rejecting a (business) proposal. i also get the vibe that her team is shutting down the marriage rumors while his team is trying to boost them? not sure, just a hunch

thanks for this! i appreciate that songs can be interpreted in different ways. i vibe with a lot of what you wrote.

i did a little thinking and in my mind here are the lines i find kaylory about these songs, along with a few additional comments

invisible string

- i just want to add to what you’ve written by saying that to me the song sings like she’s listing up all this trivia that points to joe, some of which (the yogurt shop job) was cleverly planted in an interview of joe not long before folklore was released, and she sings in the chorus “isn’t it pretty to think” that there’s some connection between us that’s actually not there.

- by contrast when the music goes quiet, and she sings in a different pace and cadence, the part that begins with all the run ins, she mentions the dive bar from delicate, past mistakes and chains, changing weather, all of which is imagery that comes up in what we consider kaylor songs. plus, she closes off the line with one single thread of gold tied me to you which i believe is both in contrast to an invisible string, and illustrative of a color very often associated with karlie. this one section of the song feels like the truth hidden within the story.

cowboy like me

- eyes full of stars (this carries over from starry eyes sparking my darkest night, from the song call it what you want, where “call it” sounds like “karlie” a lot)

- the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up (this really feels applicable to taylor and karlie’s situation as we all have a sense of the skeletons in their closets, whereas i don’t really have a read on what skeletons joe could possibly have in his)

- that was all before i locked it down (there is a recurring theme of taylor and karlie putting their public relationship on lockdown starting in fall 2016, the thing with the gold heart locket, the love lock bridge in paris etc)

-idk man, the gardens of babylon line conjures up a… different kind of garden 🙈 in a sort of wear-you-like-a-necklace sorta way, if you catch my drift

lavender haze

- talk your talk and go viral (karlie has had more than a few viral moments in recent years, whereas i cant recall a single time joe has ever said anything memeable)

- i get the bearding interpretation of this song for sure because of lyrics like all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride which point to the you being who the public assumes taylor will marry. and the points you bring up work with this interpretation well, i think it’s a solid way to listen to the song and i’m not opposed to it,

-what makes it kaylory for me is taylor’s explanation of the song as a part of album promo. how she talks about how it’s been hard for her and her lover dodging weird rumors since 2016, and how lavender haze is about wanting to do anything to protect a love. she also references a mad men episode where john hamm’s character talks about wanting to have a relationship with ‘betty’ — a name kaylors have associated with karlie for some time now (karlie’s middle name is elizabeth). there are other things about the song that fit into a particularly kaylor interpretation i have but i get the feeling it’s my own little silly interpretation so i think i’ll keep to myself.

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird): I haven’t asked in awhile! 4, 16, 26 pls❤️

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

We're saying 'feral' like it's a bad thing, right? If that's the case then one word that really makes me growl and grit/bare my teeth is when people write "each other" as one word (eachother). I won't *stop* reading a fic if that's in there, especially if the fic is fantastically written, but it does throw me out of the flow of the story for a few minutes. Partly, this is because of negative connotations I have with it from an ex-friend, surprisingly my age (I'm 50 in a week, give or take a few days), who tried to insist to me that that's how that was written despite how many different ways I showed him it absolutely wasn't, and he's turned out to be a douchebag, but also it's just not how it's supposed to be written. I'm getting a little better at ignoring it - or at least, mentally separating the words in my head, but hey, if little shit babies can come into my fic and tell me how to use punctuation (as if I'm using it wrong - dammit, English major here), I can rage about 'eachother'. *shudders*

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

A leaf. I was outside, back at college, reading something for class, and I needed to close my book for a second but didn't want to dog-ear my pages and didn't have another bookmark, and there was a really pretty leaf on the ground, so I snagged it up and stuck it into the book to hold my place.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

If they're fanfic characters, I pretty much watch (if I need to) the actors portraying them and I put their portrayal into words. Facial expressions, hand-gestures, body language, tone of voice, quality of voice, inflections, pauses, the way they speak, and then I use what I know of their personalities or histories and I add to all the rest - I figure the ways in which those histories, those stand-out events, traumas or good times will make them react to situations I throw them into. I don't really have difficulty getting out, tbh. I just shut down the story and I'm out of the characters' heads. I never regret going into their heads, and that's even for the Strange/Kaecilius one.

As for original ones, I haven't written original characters in so long, but it's pretty much the same. I envision my characters through the lens of actors who'd be great for them, and just do the same.

Thanks for the asks!

Weird Questions for Writers

[purplesurveys]

1769

Are you interested in any reality TV shows?  Yep. I don't watch any religiously as in per episode, but I'll watch an episode of something every now and then. It can be anything too, depending on my mood haha. I can enjoy both cooking shows and the weirder stuff like that hoarder show.

What’s your favourite thing to have on toast?  Just butter is fine. I never have toast unless I'm at a breakfast buffet.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job?  Unreasonable clients, messages or meetings beyond 6 PM, and weekend work. I hate all of these equally.

Do you think being born was a mistake?  I don't think it's a mistake per se but it's also just as valid when someone expresses that it wasn't their choice to be born and be here.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them?  I have a medium-sized dog. And no, I'm generally not afraid of dogs. I'll baby huge dogs as if they were a puppy lol.

What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore?  Read.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex?  I don't care much for appearances but I personally wouldn't date a guy if they had long hair or that overly curly hair going viral on TikTok.

Have you ever done a Mason jar craft?  No. I've owned mason jars to store stuff but I never did anything artsy-craftsy with them.

Who is your favorite photographer?  Richard Avedon and Yeongjun Kim.

Were you shy in high school?  The first half of it I was. I opened up eventually.

Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t?  If it were real we'd tbh all be fucked. It would be so complicated too if all of our decisions and mistakes and even the slightest of negative thoughts would be punished.

Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed?  I have one classmate from high school who has the cutest baby in the world.

Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all?  No, each ear only has one piercing.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings?  Yeah if I remember correctly they do.

Do you actually love your parents?  Yes.

Do you know anyone autistic?  I personally don't know anyone who is.

How about someone bipolar?  I do.

Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?  Sure! It's monthsaries that I find a tad bit cheesy, but hey do what you want and celebrate the things you want to celebrate.

What was your very first pet like?  It was a pair of goldfish but I was too young to ever form any sort of lasting memory with them; plus they didn't live long either so.

What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has?  Not friends but Alyssa's recently been into pottery while Jofab has been flying for as long as I've known him. Always found the both of them very cool for those hobbies.

Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig?  I haven't for any of them :( I'd love to experience that though.

What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone?  I'm pretty sure it's either a photo of Hans, or a photo of her and Hans.

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents?  I don't have one.

Do you like Polaroid photography?  I love it, yeah. There's something so comforting and nostalgic about how the photos turn out, and the white-border look, too.

Is there a friend of yours who curses nonstop? Who would that be?  Hmm no, I don't think so.

What internet browser do you use?  Have always used Chrome.

What do you usually do to let your feelings out?  Sometimes I'll try to find the right music to match my mood; sometimes I'll simply find somewhere to sit in silence and process my feelings until I react in a way that I need to at that moment, like cry.

What was the last thing you uploaded/plugged into the computer?  The last thing I uploaded anywhere was a photo I took back in 2018 – in an amazing coincidence, I apparently own a photo of my laptop showing Matthew Perry on Friends, with Kimi standing right beside my laptop. I uploaded it on Instagram as a sort of quick tribute to both of them.

This is the photo:

Are you participating in Project 365 (you take a picture of you/something every day of the year and post it)? I've tried this for a number of years now but always fail lol. Do you have a Flickr? If so, post the link.  No. I haven't even been on Flickr for a like a decade now I think haha.

Do you think it’s dumb when a band smashes their instruments, or do you find it totally radical?  The bands I like don't really do this so I don't have much of an opinion.

Have you ever made a gif? If not, do you think it’d be interesting to make one?  I've made GIFs but I kind of cheat because I use a website to do it, haha. I think the edits experts do it on Photoshop but I never figured out how to do that myself.

When you feel uninspired, do you feel like you need to go somewhere to become inspired?  I do. It doesn't even have to be a trip out of town – just a change of scenery somewhere like a coffee shop or bookstore would suffice.

Have you ever lived on a university campus?  I have not. My school was fairly close so I just drove to and from home for the whole four years.

Do you play any games on your phone?  Yeah I have a K-pop rhythm game on it.

Have you ever shaved your face?  Yes, my eyebrows.

What was the last vaccination you got?  Rabies.

Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper?  RM - my favorite would either be Wild Flower or Reflection.

How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band?  Paramore - Turn It Off. It's been my favorite for eight years now and I don't think that'll ever change anymore no matter how many more albums they still plan on releasing.

Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who?  Nah.

Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what?  I've felt discomfort at the dentist but it's never had anything to do with the dentist's handling – my tooth sensitivity gets awful and often winds up an unintentional effect.

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to?  Not at the moment, no.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?  I could but it would suck the whole time and I would feel lonely.

How has your style changed since you were in high school?  Yes, so much. I didn't even much of a style in high school beyond my little black dress phase; I didn't start getting excited to shop for new stuff til I was halfway through college.

What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious?  HEY the pumpkin spice frappe is really good apparently??????? I didn't have it for years because 1) of the hype lol and 2) it was always sold out at Starbucks anyway – until this afternoon when they were giving out free samples of it. And omg it's good. It's so so so so good. I mean it's extremely sweet and that makes it a little off-putting but once I get past that, simply put I loved the sample and might get it more often now hahaha.

What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked?  My hairdresser did such a good job dyeing my hair purple last June and it's been my favorite look yet; and I say this because while I got it retouched to purple again this past weekend, it just didn't end up the same... it kind of felt like they did the bare minimum with my hair, and it certainly looks that way. The dye is a lot lighter this time around, and just 3 days in and it's already looking more magenta than purple. :( Next time I should just show them my photos from June so they know how pigmented I hope for my hair to be.

Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents?  Nopes. We didn't even go to the same grade/high school. My dad and I went to the same university but our degrees are vastly different so it wouldn't have been possible for our curriculum to overlap.

Where’s the nearest GameStop near you?  I'm pretty sure we don't have GameStop here. The nearest video game store is a good 10 minutes away though.

What was the last thing you took a video of?  A POV of my TV playing the pilot episode of Friends.

What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?  Deciding to walk away from who was then the most important person in my life, while my mental health was in shambles and really couldn't be alone, and seeing where life takes me from there. Both the biggest risk and smartest decision I have ever made.

Do you believe your ex cares about you?  Well no, they have had no reason to in the last few years and that's okay and the way it should be.

What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex?  There's nothing I can remember at the moment.

Have you ever been to an orchard?  Nope.

Who was the last family member of yours that died?  My great-uncle Alex.

What is your favorite color for cars?  White.

Do you have any gay family members?  As far as I know, no.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person?  It was both of us.

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn?  When I was in a relationship we would both still watch porn but it was never an issue.

Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters?  No.

What is your favorite type of cat?  I don't have a favorite cat.

What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion?  I'd be supportive as all hell but would also naturally be inquisitive about how they're going about it considering abortion is illegal here.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?  I don't think anyone has. Maybe Hans, but from a distance. I was mostly alone during my lowest point because I didn't want anyone else to carry the same burden.

Are you sitting in a spinning chair?  I am not.

Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom?  Mostly yes because ick but I do go if I have to go, so I leave it as a last resort kind of thing.

Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you’re dating?  I've never revealed a significant other to them.

Were you raised by someone other than your parents?  I was raised around extended family so to an extent, yes.

What’s the last chore you did?  Cleaned up after the dogs.

What is your favorite jungle animal?  Chimpanzees.

Is your father injured?  Nope, and I'm always hoping he stays that way.

Are you part Native American?  No.

What are your pets’ names?  Cooper and Agi.

Have you ever worked two jobs? I have not.

Who is the oldest sibling in your family?  I am.

What are some of your happy thoughts?  Getting to 2025 and seeing my boys reunite and being reunited alongside them. My friends and I are also planning a trip to Korea by that year, directly related to BTS' comeback hahaha.

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned?  Kimi, Cooper, and Agi.

Would you ever get a face tattoo?  Nope.

How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived?  I've never had my own place.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect?  My ex (before) and my younger sister. It's interesting with my sister; we've mostly had – and still keep – a very unserious relationship but more and more I've also been finding myself looking out for her only an Asian big sister can lmao.

Like she's been seeing this guy and I've been nagging her nonstop about if she needs a ride to this or that for their dates, what his job is, what school he graduated from, if she's gonna wear a big thick jacket to their dates that can help cover her up...this weekend, too, she went to Batangas for a short trip with friends and I kept telling her to turn on live location and kept asking about their mode of transportation because I couldn't believe they hired a driver to get them there.

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you?  My mom has a track record with things like that but I have tended to let my mind block those things from ever being remembered.

Who do you think was the worst criminal in history?  Ferdinand Marcos.

Which laws would you most like to change? I'd legalize divorce and abortion. I would also ban religion from being involved in any sociopolitical/political affair in any capacity. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn’t?  Oh wow. Uh. Nobody?

Who have you most feared in your life?  At some point it was my own mother.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? Your uterus, your opinion. What one natural thing would you most like to see?  The rest of the universe.

[familyvideostevie]

hold my hand through it

you're feeling overwhelmed, so you and steve go on a drive | 1.5k, fem!reader, fluff, life is hard and i am sad and if you feel that way too i hope this helps < 3

Sometimes life is just a little too much. You woke up this morning feeling it -- the weight of the day before it had even happened, your mood sour from the moment you opened your eyes. It just happens sometimes, you know that, and there isn't much you can do. But it made you irritable and you argued with your coworker today and cried in the bathroom about it after because you felt bad for taking out your emotions on her and ever since then you've just been looking forward to coming home and sulking.

But when you finally get there and see Steve's car in the drive, your stomach twists. You want to see him, you always do, but you're worried you'll just be grumpy to him, too, and while you know he'll understand, you can't help but think that maybe this is the time your melancholy drives him away. But you sigh and head inside. You can hear Steve in the kitchen, radio on, singing softly. It cracks your frostiness a little, the corner of your mouth curling as you toss your things by the door and take off your shoes.

"Baby, that you?" he calls and you hear the radio turn off. You don't reply but make your way into the kitchen, ducking around the fridge to find him making...something. "Kiss for the cook?" His gaze travels over you before you give him a quick kiss, and his brows are furrowed when you pull away, like he's caught on to your mood. But he doesn't say anything, knowing that you'll tell him when you're ready.

"What's happening here?" you ask, hopping onto the kitchen island as he turns back to the stove.

"I'm making some fucking...pasta...thing I found in one of my mom's cookbooks because we had all the stuff, but honestly I don't know how it's going to go." He keeps talking, waving his hands around as he dumps things into the pot, explaining how he has no idea what "blanch" means and that the pasta was expired, which he didn't even know could happen, and you sort of zone out listening to him talk. The irritation you were worried about isn't present, and you don't find his voice annoying, but you feel heavy, like you want to cry but can't muster the energy.

"Hey, you alive over there?" Steve says. You come back to yourself to find him standing in front of you, hands running up and down your thighs.

"Yeah," you mumble. "Sorry. Did you ask me a question?" Steve studies your face for a second, dark eyes scanning your features like he's searching for something.

"I asked if you wanted to watch a movie, but don't worry about it." He moves his hands from your knees to lace his fingers with yours. "You okay, pretty girl?"

You drop your head forward to thunk on his chest. Not that long ago you would maybe had avoided the truth, made something up, and retreated to your bedroom alone. But you are in the habit of being honest with Steve because he has always made you feel safe. You know that he can't read your mind -- and you can't read his -- and being open with each other has served you well. It lets you love each other better.

"Ugh," you groan. "Not really." His thumbs stroke the backs of your hands as he waits for you to continue, humming a little at your admission. You feel the sound on your forehead. "Just stressed and overwhelmed and it turned into just being sad. Been feeling blah all day."

"Okay. Any reason? Anything I can do to help?" One hand comes to your chin to gently pull your face up so he can look at you. You shake your head.

"Nah. Just happening." That's the worst part, you think. That you have no explanation for feeling this down, no problem to tackle to make it better. It makes you feel selfish, makes you feel broken, though you know that's not true.

"That's fine, baby, you know that. Don't need a reason to feel things. You can just feel them," Steve chides, like he can hear your spiral of negative thoughts. He gently lets you go and turns back to the stove, switching off the burner.

"You can say no," he says, "but what about a drive? We can just roam around, listen to the radio or talk or sit in silence. This is a lost cause, anyway." He wrinkles his nose at the cooling pot before turning to you, shrugging.

"That...sounds great, Stevie." He beams and you smile weakly back.

"Yeah? Let's go then, c'mon." He holds out a hand as you hop off the counter, barely letting you slip into your shoes before he corrals you out the door and to his car.

As soon as he starts driving you put your feet on the dash -- only you're allowed to do that -- and roll your window all the way down. You leave the radio off and stare out at the familiar streets, at the sky as it starts to turn pink and orange, letting the fresh air flow into your lungs. Every breath seems to relax you, and while you still feel that pit in your stomach, it shrinks and you start to feel a little like yourself again.

Steve's driving you all around, taking random turns but trying to keep on side roads with less traffic. You know that he's waiting for you to break the silence, if you want to, to reach for him though his hands itch to hold yours. After a while, you pull your legs down and grab one of his hands off the steering wheel, bringing it to your thigh and holding it there. He gives you a squeeze, mouth quirking up but his eyes on the road. You take the opportunity to just look at him.

He starts to flush the longer you stare, studying his profile. Hair a little longer than his usual curling under his ears, some fringe hanging over his forehead. His thick brows and long lashes, the swoop of his nose and the plush of his lips you love kissing. His angular jawline, the moles on his neck you've traced with your fingers and your tongue. You know every inch of Steve, and he every inch of you.

"What're you lookin at?" he grumbles. "Do I have dirt on my face or something?"

"Just lookin,'" you say. "You're pretty." The flush on his neck gets darker but he smiles at the genuine joy in your voice.

"No fair!" he cries. "I gotta look at the road while you're sitting there so pretty it should be illegal."

"Life isn't fair, Stevie." You mean it as a joke, but it comes out a little more serious than you intended.

"No," Steve says, squeezing your thigh again. "That's true. But it's not all bad, right?" He glances over at you for a few seconds, his expression soft. You know Steve doesn't mind your moods. He is patient with you through them, but you know he gets a little worried and always wants to help you get to the other side.

"No, it's not." You smile a little at him as you say it. "Thank you, Steve."

"What for, baby?" You gesture with your free hand at him, the car, the world going by outside the windows.

"All of it. For getting out me of my head." For being you, you think.

"It's a pretty head, don't get me wrong." Steve sighs, and brings the car to a stop. You look around, only just registering that you're in a nearby neighborhood at a stop sign. He shifts in his seat and turns to you, bringing the hand on your leg up to cup your cheek. The golden hour light makes him look so beautiful your breath hitches.

"I just want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you, yeah? For every mood, every bad day, all of it." Steve keeps his voice soft, but you know he means every word, needs you to hear it. You swallow the lump in your throat, this one caused by your sweet boy.

"I know," you breathe out. "I love you, Stevie. So much." His eyes crinkle at the corners as he moves his face closer to yours. "So much," you say again right before he brings his lips to yours. Steve kisses you slowly, sweetly, as tenderly as he's ever done. You reach out to grab his bicep, wanting him as close as you can get with the gear shift between you.

And then a car honks. Steve, for his part, doesn't startle as much as look annoyed.

"Jesus! Alright, alright, can't you see I'm doing something important?" he says, maybe a little loudly for the stillness of the evening. He gives you one last peck before sticking his arm out the window and waving the car behind you around him. He gives the middle-aged driver, probably a dad, a mock salute that makes you dissolve into giggles.

"So," he begins, putting the car back into drive. "We need to find dinner somewhere."

"Pizza?" you suggest. Steve grabs your hand and gives your palm a kiss before setting it on his thigh his time, his warm fingers lacing with yours.

"You're a genius, babe," he grins. "Just what I was thinking."

want to be added to my tag list for full-length (non-ask) fics? send me a message and specify for steve, eddie, or both! reblog, send feedback, requests open, masterlist here!

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Chapter Two: Wild Ride

Chapter 2 here we go!! We have so many things happening and I know you guys are excited for some of them to come! I'm really sorry it took this long to post, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that the wait was worth! Also I wanna give a huge shoutout and thanks to Andrea from @behindmygreyeyes for helping me proofread, you really don't know how much it means to me 🥹✨ Come talk to me after you read and tell me what you think! All the love 🤍 Mar

Click on the visuals to enhance your reading experience!

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

TW: Mentions of Sex, not too graphic but feel free to skip it

January 14, 2022 – February 13, 2022: Month One

January 17, 2022

Harry. New York City, New York. 12:30 PM.

It had been over a week since my family had left and I was proud to say we had been able to get into a routine. Pippa was growing too fast for my liking, but I swear I fell more and more in love with her everyday. She started to look so much more like her mumma. I am also very excited because we have the ‘all clear’ from our pediatrician to travel to London in a few days.

I have some work commitments and we both agreed that it would be nice for my family and some friends we have there to meet Pippa, so after a lot of planning on our end as well as on Jeff’s end, we had managed to fix a schedule. We will be leaving in five days and staying there until after Valentine’s Day.

I know I won’t tell Y/N this, but one of the reasons I am so excited to go to England is that we will be able to have either Gemma, or my mum babysit Pippa so I can take her out on a date, we were supposed to go on a date a few days ago, Ellie and Nate were supposed to babysit for us, but a winter storm had them stuck in Denver until further notice.

Upon hearing this, Richard had agreed to babysit for a few hours and after a lot of planning everything was set to go, until yesterday when he had tested positive for Covid. That left us where we are now, in a car waiting for Y/N to deliver a care package to her dad and ready to head home for the evening.

I was pulled from my thoughts when she opened the door and climbed on the back seat with Pippa, I smiled at her, “Hey, how did it go?” She removed her mask, put on some antibacterial and smiled at me, “Good, I just left in on the door and walked back, he looks good but was so bummed he couldn’t see this little bean before we leave”, she then cooed at the baby in her car seat

“I’m glad he’s okay, love”, I squeezed her knee before turning back and starting the drive back home. Once we got there, Y/N unbuckled Pip before handing her to me. I kissed her forehead before turning to look at my love, “I’ll get her ready for bed and I’ll meet you in the nursery afterwards, okay?” She nodded and kissed Pippa’s head before making her way to the living room.

I turned the lights on in the nursery and started humming to Pippa, “Let’s get you ready bunny”. I removed her knitted outfit and she let out a little whimper. “Oh no, no tears it’s okay yeah?” I changed her diaper and reached for the lotion since my little girl’s skin was pretty dry, and as I lathered her skin I started humming a song I had written for a special project, If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you, you'd be the spoon, dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you

After rubbing her body with lotion, I grabbed her long-sleeved onesie and tiny socks and once they were on, I grabbed the sleeper and dressed her up. “Look at you baby! You are the prettiest tiny baby, my heart!”. As I was brushing her hair, Y/N came in.

When she saw us, she smiled. I walked to meet her halfway and handed her Pippa. She started cooing before whispering to her, “Are you pretty hungry, tiny miss?” She kissed her head before turning to look at me, a mischievous look on her face. Before I could talk, she said to me, “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll come get you once you’re done”. I smirked at her “Why?” She laughed, “Just do it please?” I nodded and kissed her forehead and then Pippa’s and left the room.

I knew she would normally take up to forty minutes to feed and put her to sleep, so before jumping into the shower I checked some emails ranging from the special project I would announce soon, our trip to London and our trip to California for Coachella. About twenty minutes later, I went into the bathroom and got through my shower routine.

I was just finishing putting my laundry away when there was a knock on my door. I walked to open it and found her there. She had changed into some pajamas, face cleaned and a top bun on her head. She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze before pulling me towards the living room. When we entered, I could feel a warmth fill me up.

She had hung up some fairy lights all around and dimmed the lights, there were pillows and blankets all over the floor. Two bowls of steamy alfredo pasta were set on the coffee table along with a basket of our favorite goodies and some hot chocolate. The perfect ending to this though was the snow that had started falling a few hours ago.

I turned and pulled her into a hug, I squeezed her and kissed her neck multiple times before pulling back. She smiled and said, “I know we were supposed to have another date, but we had to work with what we had”. I shook my head, “Baby this is way better than I could’ve hoped for, thank you”. She kissed my cheek and we sat down to eat.

While we ate, we pressed play on the movie she had chosen, which was Encanto because she was a Disney girl at heart. After the movie ended, I went and made some more hot chocolate and sat down next to her. One of my favorite things to do was talk to her about anything and everything.

“I wanna do something different.” I nodded while she continued to speak. “I want us to talk about what we did after we broke up and before you freak out, I think it is important in this new journey for us”. I sighed and gave her a smile. I said, “Are you sure?” She nodded and I cleared my throat before speaking up, “So, do you wanna go first?” She nodded her head.

“After Glenne picked me up from the house, we went into Whole Foods and bought some wine and dinner, then drove to Abalone Cove Shoreline Park. We sat on the beach and I cried for hours. I threw rocks as well as sand and cursed whatever I saw. After I finished, she dropped me at my hotel. I ordered some more champagne and some chocolate covered strawberries, and cried some more while watching the Mamma Mia movies before falling asleep”,

I kissed her cheek, she pulled back and shrugged her shoulders saying “I also paid with your card, Jeff sent it”. That had me laughing out loud before taking a deep breath, “How on Earth did I not find out, huh?” She gave me a childish smile, “That’s a secret we’ll never tell; how about you?” I cleared my throat before speaking up.

“After you left, I think I cried for a few hours, then… then I wrote you a song”. She sat up straighter, surprise written all over her face, “What?” I smiled, “Wanna listen to it?” She nodded and I stood up and grabbed my guitar before starting to play the song I had written to her. When I did, I could see the tears in her eyes which made my heart break. As soon as I was done, she pulled me into a hug before kissing the shell of my ear and whispering, “I love you, thank you”

“I love you more, and I know we still have to address the elephant in the room, but I’m still working with Patricia on it”. She shushed me, “Whenever you are ready, we will baby, there’s no rush”. I nodded and reached to pull her into my arms.

January 24, 2022

New York City, New York. 11:00 AM.

It was crazy to think that the last time I came to Betty’s office, I was still pregnant. Harry opened the door and we walked in. Randy smiled at us and said, “Hello you guys! Welcome! Oh, please let me see the baby!”. Harry and I smiled before stopping the stroller in front of her and pulling up the cover we had. She cooed before turning to look at us, “Good Lord she gets prettier and prettier each day!”

We laughed a little and turned to look at the door where Betty was coming out from. “There they are! Oh, it’s so good to see you three!” She hugged Harry and then turned to pull me into a hug before turning to see Pippa.“Well look at those cheeks! How are you, Miss Pippa?” She pulled back before turning to look at us, “Shall we?”

We nodded and followed her to her office. “So how have we been since the last time we spoke a few weeks ago?” Harry helped me remove my coat and sit down on the table, “It’s been good, we have been taking it pretty slow” She smiled while making her way to where I was. “That is pretty good”, she started taking my vitals and then helped me lay down so she could examine me.

“Has your bleeding stopped?” I nodded, “Last week” she nodded, “That’s okay, on average, new moms bleed from four to six weeks, so it doesn’t worry me. Everything is returning to it’s place and your uterus and cervix looks great”, I nodded, “How has breastfeeding gone?” I sighed, “It has been an up and down ride, there are days where feeds go great and others that leave us both crying”.

Betty frowned a little, “Are you pumping?” I nodded, “In between feeds” We moved to sit at her desk. I noticed Harry looking at me intently, I knew he would have something to say later on. Betty then cleared her throat and turned to look at me, “And… emotionally? How are you?”

I smiled and cleared my throat, “It has been a wild ride for sure, it has been a big adjustment, but honestly? I have not felt like I’m drowning”. I sniffled before reaching out to squeeze Harry’s hand, “He has been my anchor, and our families too; I mean I do feel some anxiety sometimes, especially when I think of her growing up”.

Betty smiled, “That’s normal darling, we all do, I remember with my babies I didn’t even leave my house for two months except for essential things”. I laughed, “Don’t get me started, that has me a little anxious?”, Betty gave us a questioning look, “We’re leaving for England in a few days, Harry has some work commitments and we’re visiting family”.

“Oh, how fun! It is normal for you to feel anxious, just please don’t keep it to yourself, like you said you have a tribe who will listen to you”. I nodded and felt Harry kiss my temple. She turned to my chart and started reviewing again. “Have you thought about birth control?” I nodded, “I wanted to know if I could go into the ‘minipill’? From my research I saw that it was the safest option while breastfeeding”. She nodded, “Oh absolutely, I will write a prescription for you”.

Harry and I nodded. “So the last thing to address, exercise and sex”. We both tensed at that and my heart leapt out of my chest. “I see no issue for you guys to engage in such activities, but please take it slow, I truly cannot express enough how important this is okay?” We both nodded before Harry squeezed my hand and spoke up, “I will take care of her, whatever her decision may be”. I turned to look at him and gave him an appreciative smile.

After Betty finished making notes she handed me the folder back and we said our goodbyes. When we left her office, we got into the car. I sat in the back with Pippa and once Harry sat down in the driver’s side, I reached to kiss his cheek. He turned and gave me a smile, “What was that for, huh?”. I shrugged, “Just because”. He nodded and turned back to start the car so we could leave to run our errands.

January 28, 2022

London, England. 12:30 PM.

The trip to London had been hectic to say the least. I never realized just how many things we actually needed to bring, that we could not buy in London. Once everything was packed, we made our way to Teterboro where we met Jeff, Tommy, and Harry L. because they were all traveling with us.

The flight itself had been pretty good, Pippa behaved like a champion and her father was the worst traveler of the group. After we landed in London, we made our way to Harry’s house. Both Anne and Gemma had already visited and helped us by getting us groceries and some meals since Pippa was having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the time change.

We had agreed that Harry’s family would meet Pippa once we traveled North for Harry’s birthday, but there was a visit that had me so excited, and that day had finally come. Florence Pugh, Gemma Chan, and I had bonded while H was filing ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ and stayed in touch since then. As of right now, they both were here in England getting ready to start some new projects, so we had agreed to have them come and meet Pippa.

As soon as I opened the door, I was pulled into a bone crushing hug by two of my closest friends, the three of us let out squeals of happiness and we swayed a little before pulling back. I moved and let both of our visitors come in, the girls having removed their shoes and coats, and we made our way to the living room.

Before we got there, Gemma piped up “Love where is your bathroom? I want to wash my hands before meeting the baby?”. Flo chimed in, “Yeah me too!”. I smiled and took them to the bathroom and let them know I would go to the kitchen to grab some things. Harry had helped me bring in the heavy stuff before going upstairs and getting Pippa up from her nap, so I just had to carry the teapot.

Gemma and Flo were standing in the living room looking at the photos Harry had displayed. They turned when I walked in and gave me a smile. “Come on sit down, do you want some tea?” The two of them nodded and took the seat on the loveseat closest to the window before Flo spoke up, “Can you please explain to me how the hell you look so hot after giving birth just one month ago?”

I laughed while Gemma nodded. I could feel my cheeks turn red before answering, “Breastfeeding, truly it is keeping me very occupied, and my pilates, little by little I have been able to get back to it”. Gemma nodded in awe, “Well darling you look amazing”. Before I could answer, Harry cleared his throat and the three of us turned to look at him and the little swaddled bundle in his arms.

Both Flo and Gemma gasped and squealed when they saw the baby before Flo screamed-whispered, “Look at that tiny baby!”. Gemma laughed before speaking up, “Look at that smile, there’s the proud dad!”. Harry handed me the baby before walking to where they were sitting and pulling them into a hug.

When he pulled back, he came to stand next to where I was and squeezed my hip. I cleared my throat before speaking up, “Ladies, there’s someone who is very excited, who wants to meet her aunts”. Before I could take a step to where they were sitting, Gemma put her hands up in a stop motion, “Wait! Let us put our mask on and some antibacterial gel”. Harry spoke up, “Hey, it’s fine if you don’t wear them”.

Flo scoffed before speaking up, “Of course we will, she’s a tiny baby and we have been with a lot of people, and sadly we’re not sure if everyone is vaccinated, I mean we are but I don’t wanna risk anything”. We both nodded and once they were ready they nodded. I walked to where they were standing and whispered, “Look Pip, these are your aunts; auntie Gemma and auntie Flo”.

Gemma reached to run a hand down her hair while Flo sniffled and placed her hands on her chest, “Look at her, she’s so beautiful, thank God she looks like her mumma”. That had Gemma and I laughing while Harry whined and pouted, “Come on Flo, I thought we were friends”. She shrugged her shoulders, “We are, but I need to speak the truth”. He scoffed, “Okay I’ll give you that”.

Gemma cleared her throat before whispering, “Can I hold her?” I nodded and transferred the baby into her arms. Gemma started swaying a little and cooed, “Hi Pippa, hi lovie, God look at you!” Flo was running her hand down her hair while also cooing, “I cannot wait until you’re old enough and I can take you to get a piercing”. Harry groaned again and Gemma and I laughed at her.

Gemma then motioned to Flo so she could let her hold the baby, Gemma carefully handed her Pippa and then came to give me a side hug before going to stand next to Harry. She turned and smiled, “I’m sorry to tell you pal, but she is all her mum’s beauty”. He shrugged his shoulders, “I cannot deny that”. She then gave him a small smile before telling him, “I’m proud of you Harry, of how much you have grown and who you are today”.

He sniffled before pulling her into a side hug and kissing her head, “Thank you Gemma, for being such a good friend even after everything that happened, I’m so happy my kids have you as an aunt”. Florence pipped in, “Kids?! Mate, you’re getting way ahead of yourself”. We all laughed at that before he turned to look at me, a sincere smile, “Just wait and see”.

Florence then spoke up, “Oh! Before we forget, we got the little miss a present”. She pulled out a box from her bag before handing it to me. I unwrapped it and found a box. I opened it and saw there was a little pendant with her initial engraved and on the back was her birthday. Gemma spoke up, “We know she is still small, so we thought of a gift she could grow with”.

I nodded and gave them both a teary smile, “Thank you girls, this is a gift I want for her to treasure forever”. Gemma handed Harry the baby and she made her way along with Flo to pull me into a group hug, and after a few seconds I heard them both whisper to me, “Congratulations mama”, “We are so proud of you”.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 8:30 AM.

I was awakened by someone clearing their throat. When I groggily opened my eyes I smiled, my girls were standing there in front of me, Pippa in her arms, she was wide awake which led me to believe she had just fed her. “Well good morning, ladies”. Y/N handed Pippa to me and started walking back, “Wait I’ll be back in a moment”.

I nodded and sat up a little turning to kiss her little forehead, “Hi little Pip, what a great way to start my birthday huh?”. Y/N cleared her throat from outside the room and said “Can you close your eyes for a second?”. I laughed while closing them, a few seconds later she spoke again, “Are your eyes closed?”

“Yes, my heart, they are closed!”, A few seconds later I heard her come in and sing ‘Happy Birthday’. I opened my eyes and my heart started beating a thousand miles an hour when I saw her with a cake and a candle. She sat in front of me and as soon as she finished singing, she said “Wait wait! Before you blow let me take some pictures”.

I nodded, and after she was done, she said, “Okay then, close your eyes, make a wish, and blow your candle!”. I did as she asked me and blew out the candle and she gave a little cheer. I pulled her in and pulled her for a kiss. We pulled back and I brought her again before she whispered “Happy birthday baby”. I said “Thank you my love”.

She ran a hand down my cheek and said, “Your mom just finished preparing breakfast, shall we go down?” I groaned and pouted “I wanted to cuddle my girls”. She laughed and kissed my pout before saying, “We’ll cuddle after breakfast, yes? I’m so glad you convinced your mom to cater today’s food”. I laughed too before we both stood up and made our way downstairs to where my mum was finishing breakfast.

When she heard us come in, she gave me a big smile before speaking up, “There he is! Happy birthday baby boy!” I handed Pip to Y/N and pulled my mum into a hug, “Thanks mumma! I love you!”. We pulled back and my mum went to say hello to Y/N and Pip.

We all sat down to eat breakfast and talked about the plans for today. Y/N then cleaned the table while mum disappeared for a second and returned with a gift in her hands which she placed in front of me. “Mum you didn’t have to!”. She shrugged, “It’s nothing, just open it”. I pulled the lid off the box and reached in for the item which turns out was a polaroid camera. My mum spoke up

“I know this lovely lady has your old one, so I wanted to gift you one so you could have it with you always”, I smiled at her and pulled her for a hug, “Thank you mumma”. She kissed my cheek, “You’re welcome darling”.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 12:30 PM.

I was pulled from my slumber by a tiny whimper coming from the travel cot at my bedside. Harry was cuddling me, so I carefully pulled out to grab Pippa. When I did, she started crying, “Oh hey, no need for that missy, I know you’re hungry, my boobs are making sure I know”, Anne had been so nice to bring one of her loveseats here so I could breastfeed, so I sat there to feed Pippa.

About twenty minutes into the feeding, I heard a pull of air and turned to see Harry waking up, he started looking around the room and smiled, “There they are! Hi, my loves”. “Hello birthday boy, how was your nap?”. He stretched and laid down again, “It was good, but I missed you guys”. I smiled at him then I remembered something.

“Hey, there are two packages inside my suitcase, could you please grab them?” He nodded and went into the closet. When he came back, he was trying so hard to keep a straight face but was failing miserably.He placed the gifts on the bed before making his way to where I was finishing feeding Pippa and setting her up for a burp. “I thought we had agreed on no gifts missy”.

I shrugged my shoulders and told him “It’s your birthday, you deserve to be pampered, and the truth is one is mine and the other is from your little girl”. He kissed the back of her head and my forehead before going to sit on the bed. “Which should I open first?” I pointed to the square box and he nodded and started unwrapping it.

“That one is from Pip”. He smiled and removed the paper as he he pulled out a personalized book from Pippa. I could see him tear up and looked up at me, “Baby…” I smiled, “That way, you two can have your special bedtime story book”. “I cannot wait to read it to her, thank you”. He walked to where we were sitting and kissed me.

“I’m glad you loved it baby”. He then made his way back to the bed and grabbed the other gift. When he opened it, he pulled out a box full of vouchers I had made for dates, massages, dinners, kisses, and more. He laughed and turned to look at me, “When can I start redeeming them?”, “Hm, when we return to London”. He groaned, but nodded.

I stood up and started swaying with Pippa. He came and hugged us telling me“Thank you for my gifts baby, I love them so much”. I kissed his lips, “I’m glad you do”. I turned to see the time and sighed, “We better start getting ready, everyone will be here in about an hour”. He groaned but nodded, “Are you ready for them to meet her?” I nodded excitedly, “Especially Thea and Ella”. He smiled, “Me too love”.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 4:30 PM.

I was pretty thankful that this birthday I had all of my family here with me to celebrate. The food mum had ordered was delicious and everyone was so happy to meet Pippa. I was currently seated on the floor playing with Thea while Ella was holding Pippa. She turned to look at me and gave me a smile.

“I cannot believe that just a few years ago we were joking about coming to your mum’s house for Christmas with our babies and we are here now”. I laughed, “I know, still feels like a dream huh?” She nodded, I turned to look at Thea who gave me a gummy smile, “Oh look at that smile! You are gorgeous darling!”, Ella smiled, “And this lovie! I’m so impressed by how much she looks like her mumma.”

We sat there for a few minutes in silence just cuddling the babies before Ella spoke up again, “I’m proud of you H; you chose a great woman to be your partner.”, I gave her a smile, “Just like you and Ryan”, I reached to squeeze her knee, we both turned to the door where Gemma entered carrying a cake while my family started singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

After they were done, I blew out the candles and my mum started cutting the cake, sharing a piece with everyone. I sat down next to where Y/N was sitting talking with my auntie Dee who was holding Pippa. She smiled at us, “She really is a beauty Harry, oh I cannot wait until you two get married!” We both laughed before I squeezed her hip before answering my aunt, “Soon Aunt Dee”. Y/N kissed my cheek in reassurance before answering, “All in due time”.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 8:45 PM.

After we said goodbye to the last guests, I went into the kitchen where Anne was waiting for me. She made sure Harry was not near before she pulled out a wrapped gift from the cabinet and handed it to me, “Here darling, everything is ready for you guys”. I smiled and grabbed the gift, “I really cannot thank you enough”.

She shrugged her shoulders, “You guys deserve a night off, and I am really excited about having one-on-one with my babe”. I reached in and pulled her into a hug, “We’ll see you tomorrow, yes? Please if you need anything call us, but milk is pumped and measured for you, and I left everything you might need out”. She squeezed my arms, “We’ll be okay, and you guys will be a fifteen-minute drive away”. I nodded and jumped a little when I heard someone clear their throat.

I turned and smiled when I found Harry standing there, “What are you ladies up to huh?”. I smiled and while Anne excused herself Harry made his way to me. He pulled me into his arms, settling his hands on my lower back and kissed my lips before speaking up, “Hi lovie”. I laughed and then whispered to him, “Hi birthday boy”.

He pouted his lips and squeezed my love handles, “Heeey”., I laughed and kissed his chest, “Hi love”. He gave me a boyish grin before reaching down to pull me into a kiss. Before we could get carried away, I pulled back, which he was not happy about and he started blowing raspberries on my neck.

I was laughing so hard but managed to tell him in between laughs, “Wait! Wait! I have one last birthday present for you!”. He pulled back, a soft smile decorating his face, “You didn’t have to, you have given me so much already”. I shrugged my shoulders, “It’s your birthday, and I wanna make up for the birthday I missed”. I grabbed the box which was on the counter next to me and handed it to him. “Open it”.

He smiled and unwrapped the little gift and came across a box. When he pulled off the lid, he found a key and grabbed it, “Did you buy me a house?”. I shook my head, “Not really, but I did get us a place for the night, just you and me”. There was a twinkle in his eyes I hadn’t seen in a while. He leaned and whispered, “Will I need my birthday suit?” My heart started beating so fast at his comment before whispering to him, “Maybe…” 

I kissed the shell of his ear and walked away to the living room so I could cuddle Pippa, who was lounging on her bouncer. Before we left, I picked her up and started swaying while kissing her head. A few seconds later, Harry came into the room and pouted when he saw Pippa. He came to where we were standing and ran a hand down her head.

“Are you okay leaving her?” I nodded, “We need some time for us H, she has been the center of our Universe for the last two months”. He nodded and smiled at his mom, who had just walked into the living room. He pulled her into a hug, “Thank you mum”. Anne hugged him back and kissed his cheek before pulling back, “You guys deserve this, Pippa will definitely be okay yes?”, I nodded and turned to look at Harry and gave him a reassuring smile.

Harry asked “Can I hold her?”, I nodded and handed the baby to him, who immediately cuddled into his chest, her favorite place. He smiled and swayed a little before kissing her head and telling her, “Please be on your best behavior for Nana yes? Mumma and Daddy will be back before you notice it, but if you miss us too much just tell your Nana and she’ll give us a call.” Anne and I let out a laugh, God this man was very much in love with his baby.

He then handed her to me and turned to hug is mom bye, while I squeezed Pippa a little before whispering to her, “I’ll miss you sweet girl, I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”. When Harry and Anne pulled back she made her way to me. I handed her the baby and she pulled me into a side hug, “Enjoy yourselves darling, we’ll be fine”. I nodded and kissed her cheek before making my way to where Harry was standing, I pulled the overnight bag from the closet and we left the house before we both cried.

February 1, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 9:10 PM.

When we closed the door, my heart started racing with excitement. I was so thankful for all the surprises I had gotten today, but this topped pretty much everything. As I was about to get into the driver side Y/N pulled me to the passenger side. I obliged and smiled at her, “You’re driving huh?”

She smiled and nodded her head, “You just have to relax and let me do my thing okay?”, I smiled at her, she then grabbed a blindfold from her pocket and turned to look at me, “May I?”. I nodded and she carefully came over to where I was seated., I put my seatbelt on and once I was settled she placed the blindfold on me. Before she pulled back she placed a kiss on the corner of my lips.

I whined a little and she laughed before I interrupted her, “Stop teasing!” She squeezed my arm, leaned into me and whispered to my ear, “Don’t worry, there’s so much more from where that came from.” I shuddered and sat up a little straighter while I heard her make her way to the driver’s side.

She turned on the car and when the radio came to life I smiled, “Is this our playlist?”She hummed in agreement, “It is baby, thought we could make our fifteen-minute drive a little bit more entertaining, what do you think?”,“I love it, I love you.” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze, “I love you more.”

The ride itself went really fast. Once she parked the car and turned off the radio, I heard her get out the door, and a few seconds later I heard her come to my side. She opened the door and removed my seatbelt before helping me get out of the car. Once I was out, she closed the door and made her way to the boot to grab the overnight bag.

I heard a thud which meant she probably had dropped the bag before squeezing my arms, “Okay, you ready?” I nodded eagerly and she laughed as she removed my blindfold, I waited for a second before I opened my eyes and was in awe at the little cottage in front of us. I turned to see my girl and gave her a smile, “Where did you find this?”

She shrugged before answering, “I have my secrets.” I laughed and pulled her into a hug before whispering, “Thank you my love.” She squeezed me before pulling back, “Come on, there is more inside.” I grabbed her hand and scoffed when she did not let me help her with the overnight bag. We stopped at the front door and she nudged me to open and go inside.

My heart was beating so fast, I truly did not know what to expect. I opened the door and immediately smiled at the sight, the cottage was lined up with fake candles and sunflower bouquets. I continued to walk inside and stopped at the kitchen where I found a little banoffee pie with a candle.

It was then that I noticed that the living room was filled with balloons that had pictures of me with all my favorite people, including her and Pippa, and in the middle of the room I found a book addressed to me. I kneeled down and started tearing up when I realized there were letters from people in my life, friends from high school, people from my One Direction times, my filming crew and some cast mates, a drawing from Otis and Daisy, and at the end my closest friends which included letters from all four boys.

As I was looking, I furrowed my brows when I noticed that Y/N had not written me anything, but just before I could ask her why, I saw that the last page had gotten stuck and when I turned I let out a sob when I found three of my favorite pictures of all time, I had taken it when we were at the hospital when Pippa was born, one of my girls snuggling in the very early hours of the morning, the last one was of the first belly pictures she had ever sent me, which had also been my lock and home screen until Pippa was born.

And the third one, a picture of us cuddling on the couch, with our hands resting on her belly. I remember I took it just a few days before Pippa had made her arrival, and back then I swore I could never ever love the woman laying with me more than I did, turns out I was wrong. I smiled when I found her handwriting, I knew she wasn’t a big writer, but her message conveyed everything I knew she wanted to say: Thank you for finding your way back to me <3

When I turned and stood up I started tearing up again when I saw her standing there with the cake and candle turned on, she started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me once more and once she was done, I laughed and leaned down to blow the candle, I pulled her in for a kiss before I felt her smear some of the whipped cream on my cheek.

I nuzzled myself into her neck making sure that my cheek full of whipped cream was rubbing her, and God I swear her laugh could make even the angriest man laugh. “Stop! H, please stop!” I kissed her neck and pulled back a little before smiling at her and reaching to peck her lips. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, before gaining her momentum again and saying, “Shall we eat this pie?”

I nodded in agreement, and although I did want to eat the pie I knew that was not what she wanted to tell me, but I would respect her and wait until she was ready to say what she wanted to say. I sat down on the chair and pulled her into my lap, “Thank you baby, I loved the book”. She smiled while eating her pie and feeding me some. She swallowed and then answered, “You deserve it H”.

She suddenly stood up and went into the little fridge and pulled out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine before coming back to me. I asked “We’re doing it out of the bottle?” She nodded and smiled, she then offered me the bottle before giving me an apprehensive look, “I’m sorry it’s not alcoholic, I know- “

I shushed her by placing a finger on her mouth to silence her, “Baby don’t apologize, I know how much breastfeeding means to you, and I wouldn’t ask you to pump and dump just because of my birthday.” She nodded, a small appreciative smile on her face before encouraging me to take a sip, which I did. We passed it back and forth, and as we drank our wine and ate our pie I could feel something in the atmosphere shift.

While I was dishing the last of her pie, she cleared her throat and I turned to give her a smile. When I ran a hand along her thigh, she had that look again, and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it meant, but this time her look did not falter. “Do you remember when we went and saw Betty?” I nodded, “Yeah, about a week ago, why?” She was playing with her fingers before she answered me, “Do you remember what she said about…us?” Ahh, so this is where she was going huh? Maybe I’ll tease her a bit.

I nodded, “I do baby, she said you were doing so well with your recovery and that she was happy to see you.” She nodded, “Yeah, and what else did she say?” I pretended to ponder for a moment before turning to look at her, a serious expression in my face, “That was all wasn’t it?”, I could see her start to blush while she whined and hid herself in my neck.

I laughed and kissed her cheek before whispering to her, “I know what else she said, I just wanted to make you sweat baby.” She pulled back while imitating me and then wrapped her arms around my neck before kissing my nose and speaking up, “You think you’re so funny huh?” She kissed my nose again before sitting straighter and clearing her throat, I could tell she was nervous, and for some reason I started to feel nervous too.

“In all seriousness, and addressing the elephant in the room”, I nodded and squeezed her hip letting her know I was listening to her, “Six weeks are up”, I nodded, “And... well we have gotten in between second and third base so far yeah?” I chuckled and nodded. She sighed before continuing, “What if… what if I told you I was ready for a home run?” My heart started beating so fast and I took a deep breath before speaking up.

“Baby…” She placed her finger on my lips, “I know where you are heading so let me reassure you; no, it is not just because it is your birthday, I genuinely want you to make love to me, I trust you enough to know you will take care of me.”

I squeezed her hips. “Baby this is like your first time all over again.” She nodded, “And I want it to be with you.” I was still apprehensive, I knew how important this was for her and truly, I did not feel like I deserved to be the one it happened with. She kissed my temple before whispering into my ear, “I know what you are thinking, you do deserve it baby, I would always choose you, my best friend, baby daddy, love of my life.”

She pulled back and gave me a smile, there was something in her look that made me feel like butterflies were roaming my belly, something that screamed I love you, I trust you. After a few moments I nodded, “Are you completely sure?” She laughed, “Man, if I knew how hard it would be for me to undress you I wouldn’t have asked.” We both laughed before I grabbed her face and squeezed her cheeks to get her attention.

“I’m sorry, I just really want for you to be sure, I feel honored you want this with me baby, and yes, I promise I will take care of you.” She nodded before reaching to kiss me and after a few seconds she pulled back before whispering to my lips, “Take me upstairs?”, I hoisted her up by her thighs and as we continued to kiss, we started making our way upstairs, but not before making sure the door was locked.

I put her on her feet when we got upstairs, I was in awe, the room was full of candles, the air had a smell of citrus which reminded me of our trip to Sorrento when it suddenly dawned on me and I pulled back, “Wait… is this the scent the hotel in Sorrento we stayed in used?” She gave me a cheeky smile and nodded her head, “You know what happened in Sorrento, I thought we could relive old happy memories.” 

I smiled while shaking my head, “You are something else baby, God, I love you” I walked to where she was standing and kissed her, then I pulled her into a hug and while she nuzzled into my neck. I told her again “Thank you for trusting me with this baby, I promise it will be special.” She pulled back and gave me a small smile, her eyes were full of fear and her hands were trembling, if she could hear and feel how fast my heart was going, she would be so surprised.

February 1, 2022

Holmes Chapel, England. 10:05 PM.

My hands were shaking, and my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute. He reached to grab my hands and brought them to his lips, “Baby, you’re shaking so much, we really don’t have to do anything if you don’t feel comfortable or ready.”, I smiled and shook my head, “I want to, it’s just my nerves talking.”

He gave me an apprehensive nod and a smile, “We can stop whenever you feel like it, okay? I’ll go slow.” I smirked, “I should be the one undressing you, it’s your birthday after all.” He laughed, grabbed my face and kissed it, “Well, the birthday boy wants to be the one who undresses you.” I smiled and nodded.

I let out a shuddering breath., hHe pressed his forehead to mine and nudged his nose with mine before whispering, “Hey, it’s just me my love.”, I nodded and reached for his lips, and while we kissed, he pulled my sweater off my torso and I thenI reached to remove his coat, not caring where it fell.

While he ran his hands down my body, I started unbuttoning his shirt. Once I finished, I pulled it off his shoulders while and he removed the tank top I had been wearing today. I got so nervous I pulled my hands over my body, but he kissed my forehead and removed my arms, and told me “You’re gorgeous and I’m obsessed with your body baby, don’t hide it.” He patted my thighs which I took as a sign to jump into his arms while he walked us back to the bed.

He laid us down and started placing feather soft kisses on my neck while I played with his little curls. The familiar feeling of trust was finally starting to settle in, I felt him reach to pull down my leggings. I pulled one of my hands from his hair to try and unbuckle his pants, and before we knew it all of our clothing had been discarded.

Both of us sat up and were panting, looking into each other with eyes full of lust and love, and an appreciation for being able to find us again. Harry placed his hand on my cheek, and I did on his chest, which God I had forgotten was my weakness. His eyes were so ever reassuring, wanting to have my permission before doing anything else. I nodded and reached to pull him into a kiss, and when he squeezed my side I opened my mouth and moaned when I felt his tongue slip in.

His hands started caressing all the dips and valleys of my body, while his lips never left my face and neck. A squeeze to my thighs had me turning to look him in the eyes, lust written all over them and a question of whether he should continue or not, when I nodded, he started kissing his way down my body to where I craved him the most.

With rolling eyes and a panting chest I welcomed the haze and euphoria he had managed to vest upon me. Soft sultry whispers of his name fell off my lips, a squeeze to the hand he had pressed in my direction wanting to remind him how good it felt and how much I trusted him. I really did not know how much time had passed, the burning was growing bigger and bigger by the second until it had me arching my back and screaming his name as I let myself go.

And as the haze disappeared along with the newfound lightness, I felt him kiss my belly before I looked down and gave him a lazy smile. Oh how I had missed this feeling, the feeling only he knew how to give me. I leaned on my elbows and gave him a smile, still panting and trying to hold on to this feeling before he spoke up, “Still got it huh?” I laughed and nodded, “I swear it was even better than before.”

I pulled him up by his hand and we laid down next to each other, words would never be enough to describe the love I felt for this man. He nudged his nose with mine as a way of making sure I was still okay. I nodded and kissed his lips before pulling back and resting his forehead with mine. hHe caressed my hair while I played with the little curls that fell at the back of his head, hoping that I was able to convey everything I was feeling right in that moment.

I love you, I missed this, I missed us

He started placing pecks all over my face, and that was enough for me to understand what he was trying to say

I love you too, I missed us, I missed you more than life itself, I’ll always take care of you

If there was something I loved, it was seeing Harry blissful and happy, just like we are now. I started kissing his neck and shoulders before kissing his chest. I swung a leg over his torso and settled there, his hands reached to squeeze my thighs, a lazy, sexy smile adorning his face. I kissed his temple, then turned to his lips, chin and below his ear.

As his breath quickened, I continued to place some kisses on his chest, pecks, over the butterfly that adorned his belly while also slithering down to settle in between his legs; once I saw the ferns, I took my time loving them before moving to the tiger which I had honestly missed so much. His moans were increasing in volume and his hands were searching for something to hold on to before finally settling on the comforter.

And as his abdomen contracted, I could see his face start turning red, sweat dripping down his temples and more soft moans falling from his mouth, moans that increased in volume and were accompanied by my name and his favorite nicknames, until suddenly it all stopped and his sigh of relief was the only thing I could hear. A triumphant smile decorated my face while I straddled him again and kissed his nose before asking him, “Hey, you still with me?” A lazy smile all over his face before nodding and answering in a hoarse voice, “You are trying to kill me”

The stamina was still going strong, and the desire had only grown, and as I caressed his curls, I felt his hand roam all over my torso, heart rate slowly rising and sweat starting to fall in the dip of my back. As he laid kisses on the crevice between my neck and chest he blew a raspberry. I laughed, and a second later his laugh met mine.

He settled his hand on my hip giving it a squeeze hoping to get my attention, I turned to see his face adorned with a smile, silently asking for my permission to allow his hand continue south down my body. I placed a kiss on his chin before nodding, his fingers swiftly moving along, silent moans exiting my lips.

I closed my eyes and colors exploded behind my eyelids, the mix of his fingers moving, the spark that we both shared combined with the anticipation had me squeezing his bicep and leaving fingernail imprints on his skin. My loud moans and terms of endearment filled the vast room until all of a sudden, I could only see white.

We laid there in silence for a few before I cleared my throat and whispered, “Harry?” He hummed, “Yes, my love?” He turned to look at me, I nudged his nose with mine before whispering to his lips, “Make love to me” He gave me the sweetest smile and nodded, “You don’t even have to ask”, and before I could react he had pulled me to a straddle in his lap and was now lovingly kissing my chest and collarbone, a tingling overtaking my feelings before he stopped and turned to look me in the eye.

“We’ll stop whenever you feel like it okay?” I nodded and he started kissing my neck, ear and cheeks, before stopping on my lips and whispering, “I love you” All of a sudden, the connection, feeling and warmth that I had missed and was also terrified of experiencing again was there, but God I had been so wrong, this felt so right for both of us. Both of our pants and moans intertwined with the warm light decorating the room.

As we tried to find a rhythm there was laughter, there was a clumsiness that came from the nerves we both had and the desire to please each other to the best of our capabilities; and all of a sudden there was bliss, stolen kisses and whispers, there was thrill and excitement, there was surprise with the laughter, there were memories and above all there was love, there was a recognition of the love we shared and the reminder that this love had given us her, the one who held our heart.

As my heartbeat raised and the burning and eagerness grew, and as we both started panting even harder, there was a need, a climb to reach the highest point possible. Harry turned to me and desperately whispered, “Whenever you’re ready my love.” I nodded and started kissing his neck, and just like the last time, there was a release, a relief full of happiness and bliss. I am not sure how long we laid there cuddling, my head over his heart listening to the beating slow down, his hand running down my arm.

A recognition shared between us through love in our eyes and relaxed smiles. This was so worth the wait, I would wait for you forever.

After we were both calm, he turned to look at me and whispered, “Forever and always?” I smiled and pulled him for a kiss before pulling back a little and whispering to his lips, “Always and forever.”

February 2, 2022

Harry. Holmes Chapel, England. 7:35 AM.

A tickle in my nose pulled me from my slumber. I opened my eyes to find my love sleeping with her head resting where my heart was and her hand tangled with mine, and for a few moments the only thing I could do was stare at her.

She was beautiful, she was light, she was magic, she was more than I ever could hope for in a partner, and everything I would ever need and more. As we laid there, I took the opportunity to study her, she was the same girl I fell in love with four years ago, but now she had some eye bags that came along with the territory of being a new mum.

Her freckle I loved to kiss was still there, she had some wrinkles but against popular thought she got them from laughing rather than aging, her hair was changing like crazy from postpartum loss and new growth. I wanted to let her rest so I quietly got out of bed and made my way downstairs, where I started brewing some coffee and sat down to sip it while watching the morning roll in the field behind the cottage.

It was crazy to think how different this birthday had been from last year. Yes, I did celebrate with friends and Olivia, but my family missing it was a huge downer; and truthfully, I was still grieving my breakup with Y/N. It was around that time Patricia and I started working on how those feelings affected me.

If you would have told 27-year-old me that this birthday he would have spent it cuddling the love of his life and their teeny tiny baby girl he would’ve laughed, because how on Earth would the woman who broke his heart in an effort to mend her already broken heart forgive him? And especially agree to raise a baby with him? Nah that was surreal to even think about, but then again, here we are.

I was pulled from my thought when I felt a pair of arms hug me from behind. I smiled and placed my cup on the table before pulling her arms so she could sit with me. Ipecked her lips multiple times before muttering against them, “Good morning my love.” She smiled before replying, “Good morning, slept well?”

I nodded and continued to peck her lips, while getting ourselves comfortable so that we could cuddle for a bit. She had brought a blanket with her for us to be warm.After a few seconds of silence she started laughing. I turned and gave her a questioning look, but she started getting bashful before replying, “I just remembered I had another surprise for you for yesterday, but I was so nervous I forgot.”

I laughed and kissed her neck before muttering, “Maybe you can show it to me now??” She laughed and shook her head, “Nah, I think I’ll let the anticipation grow”, I rolled my eyes but nodded. We settled again for a little but there was something in her eyes, a thought that was troubling her.

“Baby? You okay?” She nodded her head and sighed, “Can I ask you something?”, I nodded, “What does home mean for you?”, I pondered a little before answering, “You and Pippa, the thought of coming home to you too every single day”. She nodded and then asked, “Is there any place that makes you think of home?”, I answered “You two, I truthfully could be in London, New York, LA or China for all I know, but if you two are with me everything will be okay, why?”

She sighed and turned to look at me, “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about it a lot, about what home means to me and where do I see my home, and much like you, home is Pippa and it’s you, it’s knowing that at the end of the day you two are with me, but a home also means community, means having a support system.”

She gave me sad smile before continuing, “We don’t have that in New York H, yes my family lives there but they all have their life, and the times you need to be away for work will start the need for the support system will be greater.” I squeezed her hip, “What are you saying baby?” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, maybe… maybe we could think about moving… back here?”

I sat up a little, “To Holmes Chapel?” She shook her head, “Maybe London? I know you have work to do in the city and Gemma lives there and we have friends, and your mom is also close”. I cleared my throat, “What about LA?” She shook her head, “I don’t wanna raise Pippa there, where paparazzis lurk in every corner.” She had a point, London was the place I was papped the least, if anything it was fans who would ask for pictures and it would be easier to ask them for privacy.

“I though you loved New York baby?” She gave me a melancholy smile, “I do, I love it with all my heart, but my heart has another person whose safety and wellbeing comes first, she deserves stability, having family close by, being able to go to a park without the fear of getting papped”, I nodded.

Before I could answer she spoke up, “It’s just something to think about, yes? We don’t have to make a permanent decision over it”. I nodded, “Yeah, we have all the time in the world.” She gave me a passionate kiss before pulling back a little and muttering, “We do.”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 22:30 AM.

Pippa was turning two months old today and I was in denial. How can my baby be so big already? Time needed to slow down a little please. To celebrate, Harry and I had decided to go out for Sunday brunch at The Mandrake, and afterwards we would go to the British Museum.

Brunch was amazing and now we were making our way to the museum when we stopped at Whittard so I could buy some tea. Harry following behind me with Pip asleep in the carrier, smelling all the teas. After making our way to the cashier, he paid for my tea, his excuse? A gift for being a mom for two whole months.

I laughed and kissed his cheek, “Thank you baby.” He kissed my forehead, “You’re welcome my heart.” We left the cashier and started making our way to the exit. As soon as we did, I crashed into someone and almost went tumbling when a hand stopped me.

When I got my footing back and let Harry know I was okay, I turned to see the person with whom I had crashed. Oh boy was I in for a surprise, “I’m so sorry I was not looking where I was- Mathew?” He stood up straighter, still as tall and handsome as I had remembered, but having aged a little and looking pretty surprised, just as I was before he muttered, “Birdie?”

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