#'The Dreamcast' bit nearly killed me

[bradypnoea]

on a rewatch of The Sandman I wanted to say my heart truly does go out to however many Sturridge girlies are out there. I wasn’t unaffected myself but if I had followed for years the career of a mildly pleasant man, whose general public manner is a Good Day with ADHD, only for him to rock up on Netflix full-baritone, speaking as, “The voice inside your head, the one who guides you to sleep and who leads you through your dreams, [...] authoritative and dangerous but [...] also seductive enough for you to accept the invitation,” I would have had an actual crisis, so I hope you’re all safe

[ponyopk]

Character Trivia Bonanza

So I've been inactive for a while, and I was gonna do a daily character trivia thing stolen from Pixel but big surprise, I forgot! (This is not a surprise.) So here's A BUNCH of random trivia facts about A BUNCH of random characters! Dreamcast: When I made Dreamcast, I used to have a fuck ton of names, so I chose one and gave it to him. This is why his name is Dreamcast Dreamcast was kind of my persona for a little bit. Originally, Dreamcast was going to be a DID System instead of literally splitting off into other people. Younger Dreamcast has his hair in a ponytail. Dreamcast has a partner named Sturmkast. Originally, every Alterna was supposed to have a name like Dreamcast's (word+cast), which is why Dreamfunk, Scenecast, and Sturmkast have names like his. Saturn: Saturn exists because I was fucking around with a Dreamcast Character.AI Bot I made (I made him kill Shauntal from Pokemon Black/White) Saturn was originally supposed to have a red oriented color pallet instead of his red-orange. Saturn is ambidextrous, but often uses his left hand. The earliest public thought of Saturn lies within the Rivals of Aether Dreamcast Workshop Character, where his last color alt is red, and named "Relentless." I don't think I talked about Saturn yet. When Saturn forms The Oracle, he wears a ponytail rather than letting his hair down. Grimoire Epitaph: Grimoire is an idiot. Grimoire actually has a twitter account (@GrimoireEpitaph), and you can follow her! Starstorm/Professor Sydes: The name Professor Sydes comes from a story I never got around to writing "Sun vs. Moon: The Story of the Lunar-Solar War." The "Sydes" part actually comes from indie game dev Sigyaad, whose username was "Sydes" (it is no longer his username) There's actually another story I used the name Professor Sydes in, though I won't be sharing that because it is embarrassing. Starstorm originally was going to look more similar to Starved Eggman's Furnace, but I opted for a design similar to normal Metal Sonic. Starstorm was originally going to be a blue bunny with white stars. Crazy how different his design is now. PKay: Oh boy, I have the most miscellaneous facts for this little GOOBER. ahem. When singing alone, PKay often imagines Kyo singing with them.

PKay has canonically gone hyper and super.

PKay has choked on a whole pineapple, and nearly died.

PKay takes extreme caution when eating pineapples.

PKay commonly falls backwards on benches when sitting down on them.

PKay really enjoys Touhou Project.

PKay gets really mad when people take her color in Among Us (White). PKay can vibrate at intense speeds with ease. PKay almost died by getting a Wii U Gamepad thrown at their head. PKay can purr.

PKay's main outfit costs 513 Robux, which is equivelent to about $6.41 USD Erin (Hikiko-PKay): Everything about PKay is true to Hikiko-PKay (except Erin's outfit price, which is 213 robux instead of 513) Erin lives in a forest house. Erin was actually a serial killer for a bit after her first kill. She stopped because she was almost caught. Around the time I created Erin, both Erin and PKay haunted me for like 2 weeks Erin's full list of abilities are as follows; Shapeshifting Conjuring/Control of Chains Reality Manipulation Materialization of Animate and Inanimate Objects Hypnotization Emotion Manipulation Flight Teleportation Telekinesis Gravity Control oh and she can see through cardboard uhhhh that's all i can think of right now.

[nightmare-grass]

So I’m officially Spidersona trash

Here I have compiled the main characters, their abilities and personalities, and their relationships within the story I am currently working on and have been working on ever since the Spidersona movement of 2018.

1. My personal OC

- Name: Nora Weaver

- Age: 19

- Alias: Jumper

- Based on the Bold Jumping Spider

- Quirky, inventive, sneaky, caring, impatient, smart, and kinda egotistical

- Saw the Prowler fighting Prism on tv one time and thought, ‘hey, those rocket-boot things are pretty cool’

- Later on she made her own rocket boots for a college science fair (it’s a high school science fair, tbh, but colleges scout for talented students to give scholarships to), she promotes them as footwear for rescue efforts and stuff like that

- At this science fair another kid was doing experiments on spiders and one escaped and bit Nora, giving her spider powers

- Since Nora’s thing is mechanics, she got her more chemistry-inclined older sister to help make her web fluid

- Sister’s name is Amelia

- She eventually designed her own suit and was from then on known as Jumper

- Only her sister knows her true identity

- She has arachnophobia (coincidentally)

- She’s adopted and it turns out her biological father is Dr. Octopus

- Her birth mother is a woman named Mary Alice Anders (Otto and Mary split up in Otto’s tragic villain backstory)

- She gets scrap and parts from an auto body shop and the son of the guy who owns the shop is really cute and Nora has a crush on him. His name is Dominic Mazzetti.

- One humid summer day Nora drops down in an alley in her spider suit and peels the spandex off to sit at her waist, having been wearing a tank top underneath, in order to cool off. She realizes too late that she’s right next to the auto body shop when Dominic comes around the corner, looking to take a shortcut, and sees her. She webs him up, jumps onto the rooftop with him, and starts freaking out, but she makes him promise not to tell anyone her secret. From then on they work together more closely.

- Gwen Stacy is kind of the designated bully, seeing her as a rival for good grades, so she mockingly call her “Snora” since Nora falls asleep in class quite a bit due to her hero work

- Eventually Gwen and Nora become friends

- Nemesis: Doctor Octopus

- Recurring Villain: Screwball

“Alright, lets start at the beginning one last time. My name is Nora Weaver. I built some rocket boots, was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last year and a half I’ve been one of a few spider-themed heroes in my city. I call myself Jumper. I’m pretty sure you can figure out the rest. I saved some people, joined a spider hero team, graduated, started college, nearly dropped out, and now I’m in the process of saving the city again. By the way, I was in the middle of that. Catch ya later!”

2. Peter Parker Gender-bend

- Name: Penelope Parker

- Age: 18

- Alias: Ladybird

- Based on the Ladybug Mimic Spider

- She was the one with the spider science project

- when one of her spiders bit her, it momentarily distracted her and she let two more escape, one biting Nora, another biting Skylar

- Wears glasses

- When they get to community college Penelope meets Harry Osborn and after a while of being friends they start dating. This will not end well.

- Nemesis: Green Goblin

- Recurring Villain: Black Cat

“Alrighty then! I guess we can start at the beginning one more time. My name is Penelope Parker, and for the past year and a half I’ve been the hero known as Ladybird. I was experimenting with some spiders and radioactive elements when three of them got out and bit me and two of my now best friends, and so we decided to form a superhero team. I figure you know the rest; we saved the city, started college, I got an internship that ended up being a trap, my aunt May died, and now we’re trying to save the city again. Yeah, it hasn’t been great.”

“AGH, Harry is such a dreamboat!” Penelope twirled around gaily and flopped onto her bed with a sigh. “I don’t deserve him,” she murmured with a smile.

Nora rolled her eyes. “Of course you deserve him, Pen! In my eyes, you deserve the world,” Nora said matter-of-factly.

3. OC

- Name: Skylar Tran

- Age: 19

- Alias: Spider-Shine

- Based on the Mirror Spider

- Non-binary, they/them pronouns

- Black hair dyed blue

- Filipino

- Reflective/shiny skin (yes, like the Twilight vamps, get over it)

- Cocky, flamboyant, funny, millennial humor, depressed but doesn’t wanna show it, being a superhero gives them something to live for

- Has scars from depression on their arms

- Very much an anime fan

- Starts out as a “Hero for Hire” where they got paid for rescuing people but quit that as soon as they found out about Tombstone and how he scares the people of NYC into paying him so he doesn’t let worse things happen to them

- Nemesis: Tombstone

- Recurring Villain: The Tinkerer

4. Symbiotesona

- Name: Amber Herald

- Age: 31

- Alias: Prism

- Symbiote

- Bonded with Prism when she was 23 and working for the Life Foundation

- They’re lesbians, Harold.

- Prism’s thing is light refraction, so she can turn invisible

- She’s an established hero when the three newbies get bit

- Their origin story is kinda like the Venom movie except they don’t take down a big bad corporation or stop an alien invasion

- Prism is a forced spawn of Venom

- Life Foundation captured Venom to make more Symbiotes but Prism was one of the few Symbiotes that escaped with a host

- Dreamcasting Idina Menzel as Amber

- Nemesis: Any evil Symbiotes that happen to pop up.

- Recurring Villains: Prowler and Kraven the Hunter

Side Characters

1. Harry Osborn

- Son of Norman Osborn

- Has a degenerative disease that Norman tries to fix with experimental science

- Goes mad, becomes Green Goblin

- Before he’s the Goblin, he and Penelope start dating

2. Gwen Stacy

- daughter of Police Captain, George Stacy

- Gifted in biochemistry

- Wants to become a forensic scientist for the NYPD, following in the footsteps of her father but in her own way

- On weekends she is the drummer for MJ’s band

- Sees Nora and Penelope as her academic rivals and sometimes bullies them

- Loves music

- Is a lesbian and has a crush on MJ but she’s still in the closet

- If I ever want to make her into Spider-Gwen, I could kill off Amber and have Prism bond with Gwen

3. Mary Jane “MJ” Watson

- Intern/reporter for the Daily Bugle

- Sometimes self-absorbed, mostly self-assured and witty

- Has a band called The Mary Janes where she’s the lead singer and lead guitarist

- Keyboard player is Glory Grant

- Drummer is Gwen Stacy

- She’s bisexual and she has a crush on Gwen

- With her hot temper and Gwen’s bull headed stubbornness, they have quite a few disagreements

4. Felicia Hardy

- becomes Black Cat, an antihero

- Her dad used to develop tech for Oscorp when he was found “stealing” some of the tech he worked on and was laid off

- Her dad used the tech he’d developed to aid him in cat burglary because he couldn’t find a job and had to support he and his daughter but he was caught stealing from one of Kingpin’s businesses

- Felicia used her dad’s tech to steal enough money to pay for his bail but kept stealing afterward

- Takes up a Robin Hood-like role where she steals from rich assholes like Kingpin and Norman Osborn and gives back to the homeless of NYC

- She’s really quiet as a civilian, almost unnerving, but that’s because she spends all day coming up with cat-related quips and catchphrases to use when she goes out as Black Cat

5. Screwball

- I want to add more to her character, really dig deep and find the person behind the vlogger/criminal nut job

- Her crimes are just stunts and dangerous pranks on important figures

- She live-streams every crime

- Started off with a prank channel on YouTube but when she started drawing the attention of Jumper and the bunch for her dangerous stunts, her videos started to get more views, so she just scaled up her pranks to draw the attention of the heroes even more

- Expert Gymnast and Media Influencer

- Some of her fans are so rabid for her that they’ll commit murder at her slightest suggestion

[ryouverua]

Miu and Co’s Stimulating Virtual Adventures (Part 1)

is this going to be a normal field trip?

WITH KOKICHI OUMA? NO WAY ~ !

insert shuichi groaning

Oh cool we got a whole animated sequence!

I FUCKING KNEW IT

AAAAAAH!

AAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

THEY’RE SO FUCKING CUTE WHAT THE HELL

THIS ISN’T WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL!!!!

Yeah, seriously! I guess I was expecting sprites similar to Hajime’s from last game, or at least an island setting - this really does look like a murder mystery manor! good god we aren’t on rokkenjima are we

I’M SENDING A STRONGLY-WORDED LETTER TO THOSE IN CHARGE

Aaaaw, it’s played off for laughs but it really is sad for K1-b0 to be constantly disparaging himself like that.

But there is good and bad about the new sprites, which someone who has been incredibly aware and sensitive of the changes in his own body probably clued into immediately...

See now that the audience knows, he can slip and say stuff like this out loud, huh? It... almost makes me wish the scene at the end of the last chapter had taken place at the end of this one. That might just be a pacing thing though...

PUSH HIM DAMN IT

PUSH HIM ON IT SHUICHI I BEG YOU

... DAMN IT HE’S NOT PUSHING HIM.

HA

I just realized, we’re going to see a lot more of people’s emotions thanks to the way the sprites work. I wonder if they directly translate to mood? Does that mean Maki and, hell, Kokichi will be more transparent here?

Omfg the literal first thing Kokichi does to K1-b0 is punch him!!! The robophobia never ends...

Wait, question though - how is it connected to K1-b0? I mean blah blah blah, brainwave technological voodoo etc is connecting all the other kids to the helmets, but what about for K1-b0? How does that work? I... guess it’s better not to think about it too hard? 8′D

Man, Iruma’s a lot cuter here too. Also, seems like a good time to mention I’m totally in love with their little headshots at the bottom left with the little animated dialogue bubbles. The others might not like the sprites, but I like it, Miu! Maybe it’s just different when you’re in a 3rd person POV vs 1st person POV?

I love it when Tsumugi goes off like the total fucking nerd she is.

DAMN WE’RE NOT EVEN ON A TROPICAL ISLAND AND PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING BURNED

LEAVE K1-B0 ALONE KOKICHI JEEZ

So basically they’re leaving the door open for someone to be killed in here. I figured that would be the case...

Kaito is pretty quick on understanding too which I appreciate, considering how they’ve been playing up his ‘brash dumb’ character type up lately.

You are way too happy about that.

Though it also means that if someone dies in here, we’re not going to see any marks left on the body in the real world or here? That’s not good either!

Yeah, that’s... honestly what I’d like to know. Seriously, wouldn’t Miu have found it when recoding everything if it was in here already? And if she did, why wouldn’t she tell them?

I’m telling you, Tsumugi being a snobby nerd will never get old to me. You know she’s got a N64, Super Nintendo, and maybe even older consoles like Atari and Dreamcast tucked away somewhere!

It’s funny - Kokichi doesn’t reference games nearly as much as Tsumugi, but he’s clearly a gamer too. Makes sense I suppose - I always think of a chessboard when I look at his scarf.

I’m sure this info will come in handy, but not sure how yet. 

THAT WILL DEFINITELY BE IMPORTANT FOR GONTA-RELATED REASONS

NO DAMN IT STOP DEATHFLAGGING HIM BY NEUTRALIZING HIS ADVANTAGES DAMN IT

This... really sounds like they’re setting up the rules for a murder mystery game...

Maki made an interesting note about the game - when you take physical advantage away and talent in general, it’ll completely change how a killing game would potentially go down. But I mean... wouldn’t that just be battle royal-type slaughter? Not that any kind of killing game can be considered ‘elegant’, but I can’t help but wonder why a brutal option like this is available at all..

Also can I just say the remixed music and the cute little noises when they waddle around... I love this. I love this, guys. Also watching Shuichi run is hilarious tbh.

A wild rarepair Kaito x Tsumugi appears???

I’m telling you, we’re going to be seeing more of everyone’s genuine emotions on their face here! Man, I’m really liking this set up already.

Kokichi is desperate to ship Kaito with anyone other than Shuichi so he can have Mr Detective all to himself

I think it means he falls for Kokichi’s verbal bait way too easily. 8′D But hey, Tsumugi doesn’t seem to be against Kaito’s interest! Not... obviously, anyway. just gonna casually that pairing to the question mark pile...

Yeah, that’s a pretty classic Kokichi move and... that’s... also a really bad idea. Maybe this is a good chance for Shuichi to get to know him in the context of the game as opposed to FTEs?

Okay, is it just me or is he trying to piss Kaito off especially right now??

NO GONTA YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD AND THE ABSOLUTE WRONG CHOICE TO WATCH KOKICHI

fml if Kokichi gets Gonta killed which is where I feel like this is going I will be so upset - but I feel like Kokichi won’t do it himself??? Maybe someone attacks Kokichi and Gonta puts himself in harm’s way instead and dies instead? Like, Kokichi is basically turning Gonta into a goon of his, and we all know what happens in movies and games to the henchmen of ‘Supreme Leaders’...

Honestly guys, how soon do we forget? Are we really going to let them go off together like this? The Bug Meet-and-Greet was literally just a week ago! I know a lot has happened since then, but still!

I do like that both Maki (not included) and Kaito caught on that Kokichi pulled that trick on purpose to have Gonta with him - I just wish they followed up!

On the other hand, we could just as easily get Tsumugi murdering Miu lmao. I’m telling you, if Miu shows up dead...

I didn’t need this in here but I kept it because he’s adorable like this

SHIT THAT’S RIGHT THAT’S HOW MY DOG REACTS WHENEVER HE JUMPS IN THE SNOW I-I mean don’t call Kaito a dog, Maki! That’s not very nice even if it is accurate

Man, I’m starting to wonder if Tsumugi is going to kill Miu here for real 8′D

Always a ray of sunshine, our Sweetcheeks. I’m leaning towards them having some sort of incident happen by the end of this, if not an outright murder. They’re talking too much about how the brain and senses experiencing ‘death’ and causing the body to follow suit for them not to do anything with it. I mean, I guess the exception would be if it’s talking about an overall VR experience like the last game!

So the storage room is pretty much empty and the binoculars can only see as far as the line on the map which Miu is going to explain too. Man, the more things get set up, the more convinced I am that someone isn’t going to make it to the end of the chapter...

Next K1-b0 has an interesting bit of dialogue about how there’s nothing beyond the walls of this world, and how it makes him think about the academy walls. Which... again, I think is leaning towards an apocalyptic world/space scenario? It certainly seems that way to me. It’s interesting to have him point it out though, for some reason. 8′D

I’m 99% sure that’s her default setting, but okay.

weird tangents like this is why I love shuichi

It’s like, a legitimate thing to fixate on and worry about and I totally relate to it but at the same time I’m sure he recognizes how ridiculous it sounds in his head

Isn’t that you? 8′D

oMFG WH A T

WHY ARE YOU DOING HIM WRONG LIKE THIS MIU

MAKI NO I THOUGHT YOUR ROASTING DAYS WERE FINALLY BEHIND YOU

HIMIKO I THOUGHT WE WERE BONDING EARLIER

WE WERE BONDING DAMN IT

I’m shocked that the sprite is able to capture the absolute betrayal on it face but somehow, it does

whispers this is getting its own special post

“Look at my glorious self, doing you the favour of allowing you to prostrate yourself in front of all your classmates!”

Miu you’re making a lot of enemies this chapter, including the sub (lol) protagonist. We've already had one first POV murder - do we really want another one?

That’s going to go missing at some point. If the murder happens, maybe the murderer will grab it and hide it or something?

"Oh, I’ve been lurking here for a while! But I needed some time to come up with my best masochist!Shuichi jokes and lines. You’re not going to hear the end of this for a long time, Masoichi Subhara!”

... or that. could be that too.

Hm, so I guess it’s on the other side of the map. It would be one thing of Kokichi is by himself but Gonta is with him and I trust him way farther than I’d be able to throw him and Kokichi for that matter

KAITO NO YOU’RE MAKING THINGS WORSE

OMFG SHUICHI IS JUST A COMPLETE WRECK AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED

And you know Kokichi is totally trying to figure out what he missed, and why all the other classmates are giving the two of them weird looks/snickering...

Oh, and now we’re finally getting to the line shown in the map.

Kokichi are you just trying to cash in some Saiouma chips because you realize how much Saimota happened when you were away with Gonta? 8′D 

H-Hey don’t look at me, look at Miu! She started it!

Okay at this point I will be shocked if there isn’t a murder here or some sort of incident causing a murder in the real world.

Also Kokichi you’re way too happy about this...

What are you playing at here man???

And you! Shouldn’t you know where it is since you reprogrammed the whole thing?!?!

Miu and Kokichi are conspiring about something??? Again???

Please don’t fall for it...

..... Yikes. 8′D I-I’ll give it to him because I have a feeling his failing health and the events of last chapter regarding the occult probably have him feeling emasculated.

Yeah, seriously. So Kaito is on the roof, Kokichi is in the salon and... free for all for everything else. Uh, okay....?

IF GONTA FUCKING TURNS UP DEAD KOKICHI I SWEAR I WILL DUEL YOU IN A SHADOW GAME MYSELF duel links has upped my skill somewhat I should be able to hold my own...

Thank goodness for Tsumugi’s odd affinity for Gonta oTL

a) Maybe this is the chance for us to get to know Tsumugi a little better in-game since we’re going to explore the rest of the mansion together

b) Kaito really has no bloody idea how he and Shuichi’s relationship comes off to the rest of their classmates (or maybe he does and he’s a-okay with it)

c) MAKI...... 

oh no

THAT’S.... NOT..... QUITE IT.....

nothing like the sting of figuring out you’re third-wheeling 

This is in no way the game trying to establish groups and/or alibis. Got it.

Left side: Kokichi, Gonta, Kaito, Shuichi, Tsumugi

Right side: Miu, Himiko, Maki, K1-b0. Alright, good to know.

I really don’t need this to be here but the fact that Kaito is so woefully oblivious and also apparently just... completely into Maki as a friend only is  hilarious to me. I mean, maybe the game will push more romantic feelings on his side in the last chapter but he’s just coming off as so gung-ho about their friendship without taking it to the next level - it’s just.... so refreshing...

It’s nice to see Kaede always being in his thoughts outside of general ‘I must do this for Kaede! Inspiration via manpain!’ stuff.

FUCK YES I THINK I’M RIGHT ABOUT THE ESCAPISM SECONDARY THEME we’re finally bringing it up in nearly identical words again! sorry tsumugi things aren’t looking good for you mastermind-wise

With that said, of all people, she dismisses it herself. 8′D Maybe if the game had better graphics engine - would that be good enough for you princess???

DANGANRONPA YOU ARE DANCING ON A KNIFE’S EDGE RIGHT NOW

Man I keep dancing back and forth between the idea of her being a victim this chapter and a killer and I just... can’t... decide on one. Ugh. The only thing that keeps me from thinking she’ll be a victim is having Gonta right there, raising just as many death flags as her. I-I guess we’ll find out shortly anyway...

Meanwhile while I ramble, K1-b0 has Priorities

[keegames]

AAA Value vs. Focused Design, or The 3D Sonic Problem

I’ll not mince words: I’m a Sonic fan. Ever since I borrowed the Sonic & Knuckles Collection for our old PCs, I’ve loved what the hedgehog has brought to gaming. As it stands, however, Sonic has had a rocky history with his 3D games. Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, Sonic Heroes, Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Sonic Unleashed, Colors, Generations, Lost World… even the best of these games have had glaring flaws, and the worst have been some of the most infamously bad games in gaming history. Still, you can always catch me anticipating the next adventure from the blue blur, as even his worst games provide ample material to analyze.

While I could write entire chapters on what works and what doesn’t in nearly all of these games from a design standpoint, I’ll instead cut to the chase and focus on the core problem that has plagued Sonic ever since his jump to 3D in 1999 (and, perhaps, even longer than that). Many of the series’s issues can be connected to a trend that goes far beyond Sonic or even SEGA.

Size, Replayability, and Value

When you look at modern big-budget single-player-only video games, one thing you might notice is that they’re all HUGE. Maybe they’re a 100-hour RPG, or maybe they’re a massive open world with tons of collectibles or side quests. Maybe they’re both! Whatever the case, single-player games have gotten bigger over the years. There always has to be more to do. This isn’t new, of course. Ever since the 16-bit era, the “game you can beat in an afternoon” has fallen by the wayside. It’s not shocking; games are expensive, after all. Games like Super Mario World and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past offered hours upon hours of gameplay before you would ever see the credits. The switch of games to 3D continued this trend; first time players will spend an incredibly long time getting the 70 Power Stars needed to reach Super Mario 64’s ending, much less nabbing all 120.

This transition to “bigger games” was, necessarily, a rejection of arcade design. Arcade games have to let more players play them in a short period of time, which is why many of them are difficult to learn or play, and also short to complete once learned. Arcade games derive their replay value from being difficult to master. This is also where the concept of “high scores” comes from; what better way to make players want to play again than clearly numerically rating their performance? Console games, however, did not have such design goals. Once a player purchased a console game, there was no more money involved, and a single copy was generally played for a long time by one or a few people. Innovations like the ability to save progress were also introduced to the design space, and data space became larger. Developers could now make every hour of a player’s time with the game different content, rather than expecting them to play the same thing over and over again.

However, with what was gained, something was, too, lost. The idea of playing the same content to improve your performance was lessened in importance. Scoring systems became irrelevant, and eventually disappeared altogether from many games. Many games nowadays don’t give any importance to a player’s performance at all beyond the basic level needed to complete the game. Gaming as a whole has a decidedly different mindset, thanks to this transition.

A Team Lost In Time

So, how does all this relate to Sonic? Let’s look at the original Sonic the Hedgehog, released in 1991. Sonic the Hedgehog has no save system, and it has 18 levels, each of which takes between 2 and 4 minutes to complete once a player can do so without dying. Super Mario World, a game with 72 levels with similar lengths of time taken to beat them, was released earlier. Sonic levels, however, offer something different. Most Super Mario World levels offer either a single path or a path that branches in a single spot, with the second path reached by performing a specific task. Many of Sonic the Hedgehog’s levels, however, have many different paths stacked on top of each other. Reaching them tends to require careful understanding of both the levels and of Sonic’s unique physics. Green Hill Zone, specifically, was designed with lots of ways to complete it, because the designers knew that it would be played every single time a player turned on the game. The series continued to build on its formula in its sequels, and even though a save feature was added in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, the game didn’t come close to the size of some of the bigger games of the time without “locking on” with Sonic & Knuckles, which essentially combined two games into one continuous experience.

After the Genesis, Sonic Team took a break from Sonic, but their two Saturn games help our perspective on the current situation of the franchise. NiGHTS into Dreams… and Burning Rangers were both very short games in a gaming landscape increasingly intolerant of short games. In order to give those games replay value, Sonic Team introduced an innovation that would enter the Sonic series with Sonic Adventure 2: a grading system. Both games expected you to go back to them and improve at each individual stage until you could get an A rank on them all. While both of these games are cult classics, neither gained large popularity. So, with the Dreamcast, Sonic Team finally made the jump into modern game design.

Sonic Adventure was, for the time, a big game. With six separate stories, fully voiced, lengthy cutscenes, hub worlds, minigames, and a virtual pet system, Sonic Adventure had all the trappings of a modern console game. However, it wasn’t all good. The characters that weren’t Sonic tended to just use shorter versions of his levels for the most part, and much of their gameplay was half-baked. While the game’s sequel technically had every character’s every level be unique, many of them reused assets, and the flawed non-Sonic gameplay continued to put a damper on the game. As the Sonic series continued, the 3D games tried various ways to make them proper modern games in length, all of which ended up flawed. Even Sonic Colors, which had a singular gameplay style and was generally well-received, ended up reusing lots of level geometry with small alterations and additions in the form of easily repeatable objects like boxes and platforms. I think that Sonic Team could make a short 3D Sonic game where the replay value is focused on the ranking system and it would be of high-quality, but their need to live up to modern console game design standards inevitably hurts everything they produce.

It’s Not Their Fault (Entirely)

While there are definitely questionable decisions going into every 3D Sonic game, the crux of the matter is that the need for “big” games is killing the concept of shorter games that beg to be replayed, at least at the budget and price point of modern AAA video games. The concept of “content” is valued to an insane degree, and I think that that might be hurting the variety of games that get made. We’ve created a culture where seeing the credits or reaching “100% complete” is the end of a player’s experience with a single-player game, no matter what. A player is only expected to go back to a game until all of its content is exhausted, at which point it’s tossed aside for the next game. The drive of the industry towards “bigger and better” has conditioned consumers towards treating games as singular experiences. Consumers then feed this treatment back into the industry, demanding that games be bigger in a single playthrough instead of deeper in multiple. It’s possible that these desires have even contributed to the terrible working conditions in the gaming industry, where people have to work awful crunch hours to put together the gigantic AAA games that gamers and publishers demand.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of mastering something. A short game that encourages its players to master it causes said players to learn said game inside and out. It lets them get closer to the game, and to its developers. There’s an experience in plumbing the depths of a game that you don’t get from just playing once. I think it’s a worthwhile feeling for developers to chase, and it’s something that gets lost in our 80-hour open world single-completionist AAA game mindset.

Maybe I’m unusual. Maybe replaying a single-player game to get better at it is an extremely niche desire. Maybe nobody else would see a $60 value in a short, polished action game with scoring and gameplay systems meant to encourage replaying for the many hours that other games take to complete once. But if the market’s there, then it might be really helpful for developers, publishers, and consumers alike to let these ideas into their hearts. The hard-working folks in the industry might be able to have more time to themselves, publishers might have to spend less, and consumers might develop deeper attachments to their games.

And maybe, just maybe, Sonic Team would be able to put out an unequivocally great 3D Sonic game.

[postgamecontent]

Panzer Dragoon Saga: SEGA Saturn Spotlight #4

Original Release Date: January 29, 1998

Original Hardware: SEGA Saturn

Developer/Publisher: Team Andromeda/SEGA

At least as far as North American gamers went, Panzer Dragoon Saga never really got a chance to be assessed just on its own merits. SEGA of America's baffling decision to limit the game's print run meant that the game was considered rare immediately upon release. As the years passed without a reprint or re-release, the game's legend only grew. Some consider it not just the best SEGA Saturn game but one of the best RPGs of all-time, and I can't help but wonder how much its scarcity plays into that. It's a solid game with a lot of unconventional ideas that probably came about as a necessary result of tying it in with its rail-shooter predecessors, but I'm not sure I'm as over the moon with it as some appear to be. That being said, I would include it on any short list of the top Saturn RPGs, and the notoriety its rarity caused may well have made it the most famous Saturn-exclusive game.

That's a fitting title for a Panzer Dragoon game, I think. While the series did manage to spill out onto other hardware platforms, I personally feel that Panzer Dragoon is iconic of the SEGA Saturn in a way that no other brand is. The first game in the series was a highlight of an otherwise lackluster launch period for the console. Its sequel, Panzer Dragoon Zwei, remains one of the finest showcases of the Saturn's 3D capabilities. Then there's Panzer Dragoon Saga, a game that helped the Saturn blow off the doors on its way out. While many members of the developer Team Andromeda stuck around at SEGA to work on Panzer Dragoon Orta and assorted other projects, the team as a unit disbanded after Panzer Dragoon Saga. Team Andromeda was born on the Saturn, lived on the Saturn, and ultimately died with it.

Panzer Dragoon Saga began development not long after Panzer Dragoon Zwei. Having just come off the fairly successful first game, Team Andromeda split into two teams. One of the two teams, comprised of around 30 members, set about the task of making a direct follow-up to the first game's rail-shooting action. The remaining staff began work on Panzer Dragoon Saga. They would be joined by the bulk of of Panzer Dragoon Zwei's staff once that game was finished and released in early 1996. Most of the first year was spent simply figuring out the design challenges of adapting the shooting action into a role-playing game format. Fortunately, they had the rather capable Panzer Dragoon Zwei engine to use as a base for their game, so some of the programming obstacles were already addressed from the start.

Nevertheless, the development of Panzer Dragoon Saga was a serious challenge. Team Andromeda had virtually no prior experience developing RPGs, which proved to be a double-edged sword. They had to figure out a lot along the way, but their inexperience is likely what led to Panzer Dragoon Saga's many innovative ideas. They were not only embarking on their first RPG, but also a fully 3D RPG. More capable systems than the Saturn were largely relying on pre-rendered backgrounds to free up polygons for the characters, but Panzer Dragoon Saga rendered as much as it could in real-time polygonal graphics, allowing the camera more freedom. This was no mean feat for the Saturn, but Team Andromeda had a knack with the system that was nearly unmatched. If anyone was going to be able to get good results out of the Saturn on this particular front, it would be them.

The game spent nearly four years in development and, for their part, SEGA threw a lot of resources behind it. The game featured an all-star Japanese voice cast, a vocal theme from the artist who performed the Japanese dub of Belle in Disney's Beauty and the Beast, and even made use of motion capture, a relative rarity at the time. The game also uses an extensive amount of pre-rendered CG video, the main cause behind it shipping on four discs. SEGA clearly had high hopes for the game, which likely put even more pressure on what was already the most ambitious project Team Andromeda had ever attempted. Tempers flared, relationships were damaged, and the game's director Yukio Futatsugi found himself having to take on a stricter role than he was used to. Two staff members died during the game's production, and Futatsugi believes it was due to the stress involved in the game's creation. Now, SEGA may have been restructuring their internal teams at the time anyway, but I doubt that was the only reason many members of Team Andromeda went their separate ways following Panzer Dragoon Saga's release.

By the time the game released worldwide in the first half of 1998, the writing was on the wall for the SEGA Saturn. The system still had a healthy following in Japan, but SEGA's subsidiaries in other countries were already preparing to clear the deck for their next (and final) console, the Dreamcast. SEGA of America was particularly strident about putting the ailing 32-bit console to rest. The person who oversaw the Genesis era where SEGA of America had found the company's greatest success, Tom Kalinske, had parted ways with the company a couple of years earlier after the Saturn failed to catch on. His replacement, Bernie Stolar, was brought in for a very specific purpose: to do for the Dreamcast what he had done for the PlayStation when he was the Vice President of Sony Computer Entertainment of America. Keeping the loyal Saturn owners happy wasn't one of his priorities.

So it was that Panzer Dragoon Saga launched in America with a rumored shipment of 20,000 copies available for the system's 1.8 million North American owners. SEGA of America shorted just about every shipment of their last several Saturn releases, but Panzer Dragoon Saga was easily their biggest miscalculation in this regard. Stolar apparently had something of a disdain for RPGs, which may have had some business justification during his early years at Sony but looked positively absurd in a post-Final Fantasy 7 world. Panzer Dragoon Saga had a lot of buzz, and reviews of the game seemed to confirm that said buzz wasn’t just fluff, making it the highest-rated Saturn game ever released. Now, I'm not a fool. I know the reality of the Saturn's position in the world in 1998. But I also know that SEGA could have sold a lot more copies of that game than they did. They could probably more than double their sales of the game if they reprinted the Saturn version today, even.

Indeed, a reprint of the Saturn version of the game is probably the best we can hope for with regards to seeing Panzer Dragoon Saga re-released. Through some means or another, the source code for the game was lost almost immediately. No one has publicly gone on the record about what happened, but it was confirmed that it wasn't simply lost through carelessness. Given the volatile condition of Team Andromeda after the game was completed, I wouldn't be surprised if something happened to the code in the chaos. Thus, hopes for a re-release of the game are pinned on one of two possibilities: a from-scratch remake, or an emulated release. SEGA has always been shy about the former with regards to Saturn games, and while the latter is certainly possible on today's hardware, it's hard to say if there's a sufficiently large market for Saturn games to merit investing in a proper emulator.

Fortunately for me, the Japanese version isn't terribly hard to come by. The game sold nearly 100,000 copies in Japan and doesn't have nearly the buzz around its collectibility that it has in other regions. You can therefore get your hands on good used copy of the game for under $30, an average price for a game released late in the Saturn's life. Since I sold off my only copy of the English version a while back, this was my only way to replay the game. Still, it was fun to play through the game in its original language. SEGA did a decent job on its localization, but games of this era often read better in Japanese than they do in English.

For such a big production, Panzer Dragoon Saga's story feels smaller in scope than the RPG trend at the time would dictate. The plot deliberately focuses on a small handful of people and while the stakes are high in one sense, you're not exactly trying to save the world, either. You play as Edge, a member of a mercenary group hired by the Empire to guard their latest excavation site. A monster attack leads to you discovering a mysterious girl buried in the wall of the site. No sooner do Edge and his companions make their way out of the site than another attack comes, this time from the rebel Black Fleet. They kill Edge's friends, grab the girl, and leave Edge for dead. After inputting your name, you'll watch a white light descend back into the site, where we find Edge miraculously alive, floating in some water.

Edge soon joins up with the dragon and decides he'd like a hot dish of revenge for his fallen companions. He meets up with a scavenger named Gash who gives him some information in exchange for a ride. Edge eventually catches up with the Black Fleet and its leader, Craymen, but quickly comes to blows with the Fleet's newest ally: the mysterious girl Azel and her dragon Atolm. Craymen has made his way to one of the ancient towers, said to hold great power to those who can make use of them. Edge ends up clashing with Azel again, this time ending with both of them separated from their dragons and stranded together.

It's here that we learn Azel's story. She is a bio-engineered drone from an ancient era. She was designed for the purpose of interfacing with the towers, which is why Craymen was searching for her. The two eventually find their dragons again and go their own ways, with Azel warning Edge that she'll kill him if he crosses Craymen again. I don't want to spoil the whole game, but suffice it to say that a lot of parties get involved in this pursuit for power, and it's hard to know who you can trust. Craymen in particular has a lot of nuance to his character and even after all is said and done, it's hard to say whether he was wrong or right. There's certainly a lot of hubris to go around among just about every member of the main cast, at least.

Alright, I'd like to do two paragraphs of spoilers now. If you ever plan on playing the game, skip this paragraph and the next. Panzer Dragoon Saga makes use of a clever trick you might have seen before and may have seen since. The white light at the beginning of the game was you, the player, inhabiting the body of Edge, presumably bringing him back to life. You are the Divine Visitor destined to bring an end to the merciless rule of Sestren, an AI network that controls the towers and, through them, the world. The dragon that you've been riding for the past three games is actually a rogue AI program that Sestren purged, which is why it's able to change its form so easily. In each of the games, the dragon makes an attempt to cause damage to Sestren. In this game, it finally succeeds. Sestren falls, and humanity is for better or worse on its own from now on.

It's a future that Edge won't see. It's hard to say if he would have survived your essence leaving his body, but he ends up sacrificing himself anyway to put a stop to Sestren. Azel, having fallen in love with Edge and believing he is still out there somewhere, begins a search whose outcome we won't get to see in this game. Panzer Dragoon Orta, the final game in the series, sheds some light on what happens with her. It's a real downer of an ending, as we get to see how Edge's friends wait for him to return as he promised. We as the players and the agents of his demise know the truth, but they don't. This ending was another interesting way that the narrative subverted RPG norms.

Okay, it's safe from here. I want to talk about the gameplay mechanics of Panzer Dragoon Saga, because it's here where the game really gets weird. For starters, your battle party will only ever consist of you and your mount. While many exploration sections have Edge walking around on foot, you'll mostly be getting around on the back of your dragon. To examine things in the environment, you have to lock-on to them the same way you would with your lasers in the previous games. This works for opening chests, manipulating switches, and even talking to people. The game uses an overworld map with points of interest on it. You simply direct your character to the area you want to go to and you'll enter it. This areas can be quite large and made up of multiple maps, so it's not like the game is hurting for size, either.

While there are some fixed battles here and there, most of the fights are random encounters. Once you're in a battle, the game's roots become clear. Your character has an action gauge that fills up over time. You'll need at least one bar to take any actions save moving around. Speaking of which, you can switch your positioning relative to the enemy at any time. Your action bar will freeze while you do this, however, so it's best to try to stick to one side as long as you can. Enemies will be weak from certain angles and use stronger attacks from others. One of the main strategies in the battles in Panzer Dragoon Saga is in using positioning to minimize damage taken and maximize damage dealt. Once you have your meter charged, you can fire off Edge's bowgun with precision aiming, fire a scattered shot of homing lasers courtesy of the dragon, or make use of one of the dragon's special abilities. These function sort of like magic does in other RPGs, dealing some heavy damage, buffing your character, or even healing.

I'll grant that it's not the deepest system around, but it's awfully fun. You have to learn each enemy's quirks, figure out which ones you want to prioritize in mixed groups, and act quickly to avoid taking more damage than necessary. You'll probably find yourself pounding on the buttons waiting for the meters to fill up, but it's still quite action packed thanks to the need to constantly shift your position. The developers really did capture the feeling of a Panzer Dragoon rail shooter while bringing it firmly into RPG territory. Lest you get too bored doing the same thing all the time, the game also features a system that allows you to change your dragon into a number of different types, each with their own stats and special abilities. This is done via a cool slider that morphs your dragon's appearance in real-time. So if you want to go in hard on direct combat, you can switch to the attack-focused form, for example. You have granular control over just how far your dragon leans into each stat, too. I don't think I've played any other RPG with a system similar to this, so it still feels fresh today.

The game hasn't aged spectacularly well from a visual standpoint, though. The CG videos look pretty good even now, but they are certainly of their era. The 3D graphics look alright when you're cruising around on your dragon's back, but less so when you're on foot or in towns. The battles are probably where it shines the most, which makes a lot of sense. Most of the battles opt for some truly cinematic camera angles from certain positions on the field. The developer largely controls what you can or can't see from any given angle, which probably gave them the freedom to cut loose in those fights. For a 3D Saturn game it looks great overall, even in its weaker portions, but I'm not sure how high of praise that is in the current year. 

Naturally, the audio holds up just fine. The voice cast really was packed with talent, most of whom are still doing quite a bit of work in games and anime today. Composers Saori Kobayashi and Mariko Nanba turned in an outstanding soundtrack that matched the tone established in previous installments and taking things out a bit further to match the increase in scope. SEGA at one time sold an official soundtrack for the game that I would heartily recommend were it not, like the game, out of print. Hopefully one of the fine music companies releasing retro game soundtracks will eventually get to this one, because it deserves to be heard. I suppose with the game's 20th anniversary coming up next year, anything is possible, right?

Replaying Panzer Dragoon Saga was an interesting experience. Its legend has lost some of its shine for me over the years, so I think I was more able to understand its true nature this time around versus playing it in an ecstatic state brought on by actually finding the blasted thing. The lock-on interface is kind of cumbersome and screaming for a second stick. The graphics don't look all that great when you get close to things, but the camera choreography is still excellent. Along with the somewhat action-based system, it makes battles feel much more exciting than those found in most RPGs. I've played a few more games that used a similar narrative twist now, so that doesn't come off quite as impressively as it once did.

My biggest take-away from the game is that there's still nothing out there quite like it. Perhaps it's owing to its complexity, or maybe even its scarcity and resultant obscurity, but I can't think of any other RPG I've played that takes a similar approach to its battle system. I also appreciate the game's quick pace more than I used to. I find as I get older, I like it when a game doesn't waste too much of my time on filler. That's a big contrast from when I was younger, when time was apparently endless and new games came infrequently.

Above all, Panzer Dragoon Saga deserves to be far more widely-played. It's baffling that SEGA has yet to take a gamble on the game's notoriety with a re-release, even knowing what that would entail. Its ambiguous themes, innovative gameplay systems, and unusual plot would likely play quite well with modern RPG fans, and if that meant the game had to be rebuilt from scratch, well, the graphics could probably use that anyway. I won't go as far as to say this is one of the best RPGs of all-time, but it's really enjoyable to play and more than a little bizarre in its execution. I can't help but appreciate games like that.

Previous: Shining the Holy Ark

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[geeklyreport]

Nintendon't Give a Fuck

So, March 3rd then. If you’ve pre-ordered you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. This is of course the date Nintendo’s new home/handheld combo console is unleashed worldwide onto the gaming public, and, for nearly all of those gamers who’ve pre-ordered, this is when the real excitement builds. Even those who aren’t at all interested can at least accept that they know the feeling well; the anticipation on the way to the store, finally getting your hands on your new beautiful box of gaming, hurrying home, the unboxing - oh the unbridled joy of the unboxing - and then the hookup, the final power button on, then at last! Wait what the shit are these fucking updates? Fuck you! How long to completion? Fine, I’ll go make a sandwich….. Then at last! You come face to face with the home screen and the real fun can begin. As a long time gamer who’s gone through this with the master system, an Amiga 500, an n64, a dreamcast, a ps2, 3 and 4, all the Xboxes, a Gamecube and both Wii’s, not to mention countless handhelds, the above process is something I’ve experienced and very much enjoyed quite a lot, and the reason I watched the Nintendo switch event with baited breath. I was already sold. Then it all came crashing down. Nintendo seemed intent on nuking all the goodwill and excitement they’d accumulated in the preceding weeks and months; unchecking all the boxes they’d previously ticked. I should probably reiterate at this point that I’m getting on a bit and use gaming as a form of relaxation. A lot of my friends have had kids, prioritised other things over gaming and nearly all live in a different time zone (I moved to Canada 4 years back). I have a wonderful partner who encourages my gaming hobby, yet doesn’t venture much beyond the free games she can get on her iPhone. Armed with this information, my opinion on what we’ve seen on the Nintendo Switch should make a little more sense. I don’t think I’m alone either, based on the reaction elsewhere. We’re people who’ve grown up with Nintendo and enjoy gaming as Nintendo originally provided it. And it appears they’re throwing us aside (once again), kicking us when we’re down and then spitting in our faces while they take a big steamy dump on our chests. While there are people into Nintendo defacating all over them, that's just not for me. Do you like Nintendo exclusive games? Of course you do! Well how about a game that you really want and can buy on our previous console (which we prematurely killed off because we fucked quite a lot up with it)? We’ve got you covered! Want to see what our console is really about and experience all the new tech Nintendo incorporated? Pick up 1-2 Switch! It’s a full price mini game compilation that they should definitely have packed in. You’ll likely play for a few days before casting it aside as it offers no replay value! It also makes you look like a tit and can simulate masturbation! If you look like a tit and there’s no one else around to see you, are you still a tit? Most definitely. Hey older gamer! You remember how much fun Bomberman was right? Well we’ve got a new one! The single player is still bunk but the multiplayer is still super fun, super simple and that’s right, definitely worth full price! So what if it has been surpassed in terms of depth by flash and mobile games on the last decade? How about some retro and indie games that, given you’re an avid gamer, you’ve already bought and played at least once on different consoles?! Why not rebuy them and play them on our new console while we get our shit together! I mean come on, there's no way to transfer that world of goo purchase from the Wii, so why not give Nintendo your money again? And that, along with a dancing party game and a plastic toy collect-a-thon, is the launch lineup. Done. Nothing else. Before you say it, I know consoles don’t traditionally have massively strong catalogues of games on day 1. I didn’t expect the switch too either. I did however want to see a couple - just two would’ve been enough - worthwhile unique experiences that I could sit down and enjoy. That alone would justify a console purchase for a grumpy twat like me. ‘80 plus games this year!’ I hear you cry. Ok but how many of those are games that I’ve already bought and enjoyed though? And how many are likely to perform better on those other consoles? If I want to play Skyrim, world of goo and the host of other older games that make up a significant portion of that 80, I just need to fire up my older consoles and save myself having to rebuy them. Even the upcoming Nintendo exclusives have managed to irk me (Mario admittedly does looks great though). I loved Splatoon, absolutely adored it. So much so that I played it to death less than two years ago. Two years I might add, is a very short time in Nintendo sequel terms, with good reason. Nintendo likes to give themselves more time than most to perfect their games, nurturing the things that work and tweaking until they’re just right. Releasing Splatoon 2 so soon smacks of desperation to have enough content on a new system, and leads me to believe it’ll likely be closer to an upgrade than a true sequel. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe asks those who’ve likely already bought the original to re-up, in order to play on their shiny new console. One of the main selling features being an upgrade to my former favourite game mode, battle, which Nintendo completely ballsed up for this iteration on Wii U. They’d previously refused to acknowledge they’d made an error with the originals battle mode, yet here they are trying to sell you the same game, on a new console, based on the fact that they’ve fixed the chuffing thing we complained about three years ago! To date Nintendo haven’t announced this as DLC for the Wii U version, which I’d totally buy, or any kind of upgrade program. I don’t expect either to materialise, which is a huge shame (for me). Let’s get this straight; most of the switch early adopters likely own a Wii U. Nintendo aren’t re-releasing games out of the goodness of their hearts. This is an easy way to flesh out the line up and make more money. Nintendo, like 99.9 percent of businesses, exist to make money, and given the state of the launch lineup and incoming game, it’s been suggested that this has been rushed out to hit the end of the financial year. It's a hard point to argue with, especially given the lack of online details. Nintendo are finally moving with the times in charging for online – a move that I don’t actually mind despite the ridiculous rent-a-rom-a-month system – you’d think, however, that they would probably catch up with the competitors in other areas, such as linked accounts and transferring purchases right? Wrong. Nintendo have a penchant for getting avid fans to rebuy games over and over but in today’s market, that just doesn’t fly. When your main competitors have systems in place to allow their customers to retain purchases and to transfer games from old systems to new, you really have no excuse. Nintendo’s silence on the virtual console element of Switch doesn’t bode well either, so expect to rebuy all those same virtual console games for the convenience of having them all in one place. I’d love to be proved wrong on this, I really would. Given Nintendo’s history in successfully fleecing gamers repeatedly in this regard, I wouldn’t hold my breath. Now I know this is all very negative, but I’m not making this shit up and I genuinely wish things were different. The consoles price, while a little higher than I’d have liked especially given that there’s no pack in, is in line with launch prices for competitor’s consoles, if not with the GameCube or the Wii. Hands-on reports have it that the console itself feels wonderful, like a sexy new piece of tech. Once you get it in your hands you apparently can appreciate why it costs what it does. Brilliant. This is something we all wished we had for the Wii U and I’m genuinely pleased to not have plasticky feeling components or compromised touchscreen tech. However, I do feel that there are other tech elements that they’ve put into the joycons which shunt need to be there and are responsible for accessories being priced extremely high as well. Nintendo truly appear to have taken a break from shitting on customers, so they can throw as much against the wall in the hope that some will stick. Getting a new set of joycons will set you back a chunk more than a dual shock 4 or new Xbox one controller, so if you want to play Arms, which looks like a wonderfully Splatoonish treatment of punch out, you’re talking $500 Canadian plus $80 for the game, which is a huge outlay, given the innards of the console itself. Additionally, if you’re like me and want to play games in the classic manner (on your arse in a comfortable chair) and don’t intend on using the portability features too much, you’d likely want a pro controller (the Wii U one won’t cut it from what I’ve heard); that’ll be another $90 please, which dwarfs the sweet spot cost of controllers that we’ve become accustomed to. HD rumble sounds intriguing and I hope we get to see enough innovative uses of the technology to justify its inclusion. Realistic wanking mini games won't cut it and if this tech doesn't end up changing traditional games much beyond what we currently have, the gamble of having it included everywhere wouldn’t have paid off. The less said about the ‘gesture sensor’ the better; I have an unkind hand gesture ready to be read. Again, the tone of this opinion piece is so negative, in part I think that’s down to my anger at how Nintendo shattered my expectations. If you pick one up at launch you’ll likely have loads of fun with it but I’m just so disappointed. Given what Nintendo showed us last year, it would’ve been so easy to get right. Having all of Nintendo’s internal developers beavering away on one machine, sharing knowledge is a fantastic idea. A portable console with a boost to specs and performance when docked would’ve been wonderful! Instead I’ve read that performance actually suffers when docked. W. T. F. I would’ve been perfectly ok with the additional console cost associated with the joycons. The ethos behind them is sound. If they were just well made, detachable controllers that enabled multiplayer on the go, that would be fine and justifiable. But no, Nintendo have to throwback to the Wii’s success again (seriously just let it fucking go) and make them arm waggling enablers with potentially unnecessary tech included. The worst thing potentially about the new technology I might add, is that Nintendo will feel they need to include it in games, whether it adds anything or not, in order to justify its inclusion in the console. Sigh. Just let the devs make great games! I don’t need to give the game a thumbs up or tap a plastic model to it to get maximum enjoyment, or to get content that should be in the game in the first place. If anything, that shit reduces my enjoyment and amplifies my inner grumpy gamer. Given all this it should be pretty clear that, despite still feeling that new console pull, I won’t be grabbing a Switch at launch. Every time I get the urge and think ‘well maybe it’ll be worth it’, I just remind myself of what my minimum expectations are for a new console, and the urge passes. I will still inevitably pick one up, either at the first price drop, or when the there’s a few more must have (true) exclusives, but I can’t help but feel like this is a huge missed opportunity for Nintendo. We were there for the taking but they had to go and Nintendo the fucking thing. Oh, the neon red and blue looks fucking ridiculous too...

[kapowemag]

Nintendo Switch

 Hi all, it’s Friday night and I’m sat here on my sofa with the better half as she marks kids mock exams, and I’m about to write my thoughts on the new information we have on Nintendos new console, the Nintendo Switch. People often ask me how I’m still alive due to how rock and roll I am. Some people are just made for it, and I’m one of them, I’ve been told I’m like a better looking version of Keith Moon.

 Anyway lets dive into what we know about the Nintendo Switch. Firstly the games. Zelda, Mario, ARMZ, Street Fighter, Splatoon 2, 1-2-Switch and Xenoblade 2. I’ve missed a few on the list like SquareEnix’s new RPG, but we will get to them later. Now the hype for the new Zelda has been on going for a looooooooooooooooong time now. Originally supposed to be a Wii U title, but due to Wii U sales they’ve made the decision to release it on both consoles, which is nice of them not to just abandon the Wii U considering a fair few million people still purchased the Wii U with the promise of a new Zelda experience. (Me included). But we all know deep down the Wii U version is going to be shafted by a lower frame rate, lower resolution, shorter draw distances and probably longer loading times. I can’t help but feel Wii U users are going to feel a bit hard done by when they see the differences between the Wii U and Switch. However I could be completely wrong as when Twilight Princess was released for the Wii, the GameCube version was better thanks to the lack of clunky motion controls.

There’s so much I could write about the new Zelda but there’s plenty more to talk about. Such as MAAAAARIO! OMFGWTFBBQ!? This game looks insane! However I’m not too sure how I feel about seeing the chubby little plumber in what looks to be a living breathing city with humans roaming around. Maybe the story will explain why this is? Perhaps Mario is going to be flipped between different realms in the universe? Even with this slight gripe I already have with the game, I’m still extremely excited to get my hands on this. When watching the trailer I felt the magic of Mario 64 the first time I played it, just a huge open world with portals to explore and sink our sweaty controller hands into. Unlike the Mario games of recent that have felt extremely linear and dull. I might get hate for that, but even though Super Mario 3D world received great scores from critics. I couldn’t help but feel like I had done it all before on my 3DS with Mario 3D Land. It didn’t add anything special and didn’t give me that Mario magic feel like I had with 64, Galaxy and maybe I felt it a little bit with Sunshine. There’s numerous Wii U games that I could go on about that just didn’t feel innovative enough and well polished to sell and push Wii U sales. It all seemed half arsed. (apart from Smash Bros) Even Mario Kart 8, whilst the physics and gameplay were amazing, the character roster and lack of battle mode killed the joy of it for me much sooner than previous instalments of the franchise. 

 The Nintendo Switch seems to be set for a great start compared to the Wii U already, just by showing and bringing back that Nintendo magic we’ve missed from their home consoles of recent years. Launching with a new Zelda game obviously helps a huge amount, if I remember correctly, the only game worth getting at the Wii U launch was Rayman Legends. Which wasn’t a huge thing after Ubisoft back stabbed Nintendo and delayed the launch for no real reason at all. Not that I’m blaming Ubisoft for the Nintendo Wii U struggling to build momentum at launch, but they certainly didn’t help. The real problem was Nintendo rushing out a ‘next gen’ console before it’s competitors and not having any AAA IPs at launch to show off it’s true capabilities. A lot of people are calling the Wii U ‘the Dreamcast of this era’. But I disagree. The Dreamcast was a groundbreaking console in regards to it’s hardware and actually had a decent variety of good quality games. As I’ve said already, the Wii Us game library was half arsed and it’s hardware wasn’t great either.

 It seems the Nintendo Switch is everything Nintendo wanted the WiiU to be. Maybe Nintendo knew the WiiU wasn’t going to be a huge success and launched it just so they had extra time to perfect and smoothen out all the edges of the Switch? Not the cleverest idea though if you ask me, the last thing I want is for Nintendo to pull a SEGA and release shit after shit for a few years until it’s too late and they go bankrupt. We all know this isn’t going to happen though for the simple fact Nintendo have massive amounts of money and a great supportive following who will praise even the wort of products or games they release.

 I love the portability aspect of the Switch. When I first saw the WiiU I expected it to have the feature of being able to play on the fly. Boy was I wrong, the gamepad would lose connection when I’d take it for a shit, which was greatly disappointing :(, ‘cause lets be honest, there’s no way an adult like myself is going to take this thing to a skatepark or field and jam it out with friends. Even kids won’t, their parents would go mental taking out nearly 300 quids worth of hardware into the street. You’d think so anyway, yet kids nowadays walk around in 200 quid coats and have the latest phone ever 8 months, so time will tell. All I know is my pooing times are going to greatly increase!

Is the portability feature necessary, and is this a selling point for you? Could Nintendo have invested more time into developing something more important, for example their friend code system and online functionalities?

 Who cares though right? If you’re a die hard Nintendo fan, the Nintendo Switch is on top of your shopping list, above the necessities such as milk, bread, sugar and tea bags.

 After purchasing the WiiU i’ll be honest, I started to lose faith in Nintendo and when I first heard about the Switch, I was skeptical, huuuuugely skeptical. Yet they’ve won me over with the presentation they held this morning. It appears Nintendo have learned from their mistakes and from what I’ve seen the Nintendo Switch and it’s games so far definitely deserve that gold Nintendo quality stamp of approval.

 That’s all the thoughts I have on the Switch for now anyway, feel free to share yours. :)