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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 2 years

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#selfie bee #hello friends!! how are you doing!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ #I'm very very tired today #I woke up very early today because I took a driving lesson!#I have had my licence for many many years now but I haven't driven in so long #and when I tried I just turned on the windshield wipers again and again #so I'm taking some refreshment lessons! I was really afraid of driving again but my new driving teacher is very nice (❁´‿`❁)#my last one scared me a little because he talked a lot about bathroom renovation #I just drove for an hour or so but I was so concentrated that I'm very tired now #I have another lesson tomorrow because I deleted every information in my brain about how to park a car #all those synapses are currently used to remember Godzilla facts #another big news!!#I saw a PHEASANT last week #we almost hit it with the car but luckly it remembered in time that it was a bird and flew away #I've NEVER seen a pheasant before!! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I knew that pheasants were real because my favourite cartoon as a child was animals of farthing wood #and there's pheasants in it and then they get murdered and all the other animals are like 'oh well'#but I had never seen one!#I feel like a stronger person now #one that can drive a car #maybe even park one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #have a wonderful evening friends #<3

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insertsomthinawesome · 7 months

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[requests are closed] Anon i'm sorry this is so late I finished these months ago. I meant to draw more but never got around to it UUUH. SORRY SLDKJSLDGKJSD I love them so much. I need to draw them more. ;;v;;

-NO ROMANCE INCLUDED-

#isa doobles requests #isa's fanart #insertsomthinawesome #October2023 #Twisted wonderland #twst #Cater Diamond #Trey Clover #twst cater #twst trey #i desperately need more of their awkward 'we were best friends but then riddle happened and now we pretend like everything is okay #while secretly knowing nothing i okay' dynamic #Trey is that bestie who does not do social media so whenever you need it you can give him all the tea SLDFKJSDLKJGSD #I'd actually drawn cater before this. But like. Never posted it WHEEZE #that's happened a lot with twst actually go figure.#I DREW THIS AGES AGO.... LIKE. BACK IN APRIL OR SOMETHING.#PROBABLY LATER THAN THAT #ANON I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST. I LIED TO MYSELF THINKING I'D FIND TIME TO DRAW MORE #NO. I WAS BOO BOO THE FOOL

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.

#Fear and Hunger #D'arce Cataliss #Cahara #Ragnvaldr #Enki Ankarian #Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs #It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs #I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs #And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set #This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series #If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot #It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights #Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.

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keirientez · 3 months

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Pokemon trainer AU, Reborn is the champion meanwhile Tsuna is his apprentice. Tsuna’s design belongs to my friend @Cloud_Knee (Twt or X)

#katekyo hitman reborn #r27 #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #my friend and i discussed about which pokemon would be in their team. eevee and umbreon was ther for their similar looks to r27 lol #flygon is a good candidate bc yk. leon. and for tsuna suprisingly we liked the idea of meloetta (bc meloetta has two forms like how tsuna-#-has his normal vibe and his dying will mode)#for reborn we thought of him having a liking for bug types bc of his bug communication skills. like his seasonal bug thing #we also thought of lore for a whole game which was heavily based on pokemon mystery dungeon bc we wanted death (future arc spoilers oof)#but general beginning plot is: tsuna dislikes having pokemon battles so all his pokemons are non-combat #- somehow he meets reborn (? idk maybe bro trips and got silly and he now owes reborn something). and reborn then seeing how close-minded-#tsuna is he decided to accept tsuna as his apprentice so he finally gets it #we discussed about tsuna also seeing reborn often at a lot of places but never got in contact (bc we thought of him living on a mountain idk #like how everyone cant see through reborn’s disguises but he can. so he’ll just see him around (bc reborn is hiding himself from the public)#as a champion. yeah #yeah thats about it i think. ive forgotten most of our ideas dkdgkgfhfhfj maybe another time

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thronealigned · 8 months

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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

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sonknuxadow · 4 days

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"idk... me and shadow never really got along .... :/" stop lying you were literally having the time of your life being shadows little npc buddy when he got his own game

#he was literally like OMG HI SHADOW ^_^ lets beat up those aliens !!!!!!! lets race !!!!!!!!#do you remember last time we were here together that was so awesome wasnt it ?? you can do this !! kill your dad !!!!!!#lets say swear words now that we have the chance !!!!!!#tailstube #tailstube spoilers #again sonic and shadow have never been best friends or super close or anything #but ''ohhhh they can never get along theyre always fighting'' you cant lie to me i know they werent like that originally . smh

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oceanwithouthermoon · 3 months

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kaido and nendo casually watching saiki freak out over his crush and barely reacting or caring about why is so funny to me

#now the question is why do they barely react #as far as we know they never see him like this lmfao #theory hes just a fucking liar and does stupid shit like this all the time and just doesnt show us (/joking)#i'll never get over this nonreaction #more likely reason is just because nobody can fucking decipher his emotions LMAO #thats partly canon for their other classmates (that hes the quiet kid who nobody can tell what hes thinking)#so it makes sense that even his friends would be like ok idk i dont get it #i think later in the manga when they know him a bit better his friends can decipher his emotions a little better #so theyd probably react a little more lol #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #nendo riki #kaido shun #meows post

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i-am-church-the-cat · 10 days

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I didn’t want to hijack the person’s post bc I don’t care what they think but I am a defensive bitch so we’re talking about this

Logan and Oscar met when they were 13/14. The next year they were on the same karting team together but didn’t race each other directly. This would be the last time they don’t race each other until 2019 when Logan moved up to F3 and Oscar was still in Formula Renault. They had a championship battle in F4 and F3, they were teammates in 2020, they haven’t raced each other since then which has been the biggest gap since they’ve known each other.

That still doesn’t mean they’re friends though. You know what does? Them literally saying they are.

Oscar saying “I’m quite close with Logan Sargeant” on that podcast. The Miami GP 2023 post. Them playing paddle together. Logan in that interview where they asked about “Loscar.” Now the podcast episode.

They aren’t forced to be around each other, if anything they’re so busy they don’t have time to hang out, yet they still seek each other out when they have the opportunity. Obviously we don’t know anything about their personal lives but at the very least we know they’re friends?? Not brocedes level of friends, maybe lestappen level of friends cause I don’t think they’re actual friends either, definitely not galex level of friends but that can also be attributed to the fact they don’t talk about themselves a lot, compared to Alex or George who post everything about their lives.

Like, have you ever seen them interact? They’re chilling they’re casual but they are friends. Whatever you think about their dynamic they are at least that.

#just wild take to make to me #logan and oscar: yeah we’re friends #random person on the internet: i don’t believe you #yeah the fandom might be exaggerating it that’s what we do #but it’s not like we’re just making shit up ??#‘logan and oscar aren’t actually friends’ and i couldn’t let that slide #logan sargeant #oscar piastri #loscar #maybe a problem is that some people who like loscar don’t know The Lore so they just go off of what they believe from this year #also is there any marketing thing where it’s just logan and oscar?#like there’s the FOL videos and now the podcast but we never see them interacting directly #can you even tell if someone is friends or not until they’ve been forced to do challenges by a social media managaer who gets a fourth of #their salary? /j

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i-d-e-g-a-f · 18 days

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i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

#anti kataang #katara deserved better #i know she’s a fictional character so ppl can say think and feel however they want about her and it the end of the day it shouldn’t matter #cus she’s not real but i just feel for her so deeply it hurts #katara my beloved #katara #katara my best friend who i have a DEEP parasocial relationship with i will always be on your side #they can never make me hate you #WE COULDVE HAD IT ALL #yes i’m being dramatic but also 100% serious #truly my favorite character of all time and she has been done wrong not only by the writers but by the fans too lord give her a break #i need her to get justice so bad against bryke and everyone who speaks ill on her #god please take all her suffering and give it to bryke #am i being hyperbolic right now?#your guess is as good as mine #zutara #for exposure ig #anti bryke

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ask-the-totally-real-peppino · 1 year

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Hey hey it's ok! It's just us!

*holds out a hand knuckles first to let him sniff it!*

Pep: "...Sdneirf..."

#pizza tower #fake peppino #brick the rat #translation: “...Friends...”#so many pats!!!#I didn't even get them all! but some were giving gifts alongside pats so I wanted to put those in their own post!#but Pep gets affection he's never had before and he loves it~#he might fall asleep again with all the pets #which he wouldn't mind #and I wouldn't mind so we can go back to those guys and maybe finish this day that has lasted a month (lighthearted)#maybe I will poll... But not now I gotta go outside for a few hours Imao #story post

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bowenoke · 3 months

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we talk a lot about how current kids, teenagers, and parents never learned internet safety in this age of social media, but i think we also gotta be honest with ourselves that most of us, adults on the internet who participate in fandom, never really learned how to engage with young people without setting them up for disaster.

might be weird to say it like this, but it's important to leave people how you met them or better. like hiking or going to a nature reserve. if you are regularly talking to people on the internet, especially teenagers, you need to consider whether your behavior with them is how another, shittier person would take advantage of them, because you have no real way of protecting them if that happens. like if you're going into discords and saying 'hey i'm mom! let me help you with your homework and irl issues. also please feel free to vent to me if you have any mental health issues or problems at home" you have to understand that the next person who says that to them may be leaving out the end of their plan; "that would make you easier to abuse."

sometimes you have to say "you seem fun and have a lot of great ideas but you are also 15, so if you wanna talk fandom, here are the boundaries we're going to follow, because these are the boundaries other adults should be following with you." or just refuse to talk to kids.

you decide what your responsibility, is but what you can't do is build an illegal fire pit on the hiking trail, if you catch my drift.

#the last post i reblogged reminded me of my longstanding vendetta against fandom parents #and while i've held this opinion for years i think i can finally verbalize it in a way that makes sense?#dont get people used to red flags!!!! do not be the reason someone things red flags are normal!!!#this is not to say you can never be friends intergenerationally. just that like...#a lot of friendships i was in as a kid were like lightening. fast and strong and over quickly #and what i learned was that it was fine to progress to very personal details quickly.#dont be lightening. be a hiker. keep a reasonable speed and dont be afraid to say 'you're walking very quickly on an unknown path. slow dow #also just. to be clear. i dont think this is a personal failing i see this as a consequence of all of US having INSANE relationships too #like many of us are still struggling to figure out boundaries with IRL people after that.#and trying to do right by the young people we see in the same shoes now is a daunting and confusing task with which we can only do our best

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 2 years

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Are you still active on tumblr?

YES I am!! Sorry friends for dropping off the face of the earth, I got a job and I had to move and it was a lot. But I am less stressed now and I hope I can get back to posting more regularly!! I really missed it (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

I will never leave tumblr because there is no other place on the internet where I can tell people that 80% of the time when I try to introduce myself to someone in the office that I haven’t met yet I get so focused on smiling and holding eye contact that I forget the part where I actually have to introduce myself (°□°)

#HELLO FRIENDS #how are you!! I missed you! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #I hope you all had a good summer!!#mine was very nice even though there was a lot of stress and new things happening #suddenly there were so many adult things in my life that at the end of the day I just sat on the couch and watched decorating shows #I love decorating shows but today they showed this decorating competition and one woman had to decorate her whole bedroom coral #and then I knew it was time to go back #friends I've done so many new things the past few weeks!! I've really underestimated what this new chapter of my life would be like #it's very nice and I'm glad but I've never thought about things like insurance and taxes and parallel parking before #and I'm in a new apartment and everything!! ✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧#it is a very good apartment but the landlord left us so many of their chairs #this does not sound like a problem but we also owned chairs before #so our chair number is doubled now #the kitchen is full of chairs the balcony is full of chairs #I've hidden two chairs behind the TV but I can still see their chair heads and then I feel bad because they do not deserve this #they should be roaming free #also rode a BIKE #they say you never forget how to ride a bike #but my secret is that I never really knew how to ride one #in Germany all students have to do a bicyle test in fourth grade and I was so bad that my teacher asked me #afterwards if I had tried to confuse the other students #I just said 'uh yes' and then he said ok and I passed with the worst bicyle grade of the whole school #I hade made 8 bicyle mistakes #I hope you're doing well friends!! see you soon!!#have a nice day :)

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socksandbuttons · 7 months

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looking and staring at the fact bloodmoons jealous of lunar being brought back but not him but also disregarding the entirety LUNAR was the one to promise him a body.