#I hope you all had a good summer!!
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Are you still active on tumblr?
YES I am!! Sorry friends for dropping off the face of the earth, I got a job and I had to move and it was a lot. But I am less stressed now and I hope I can get back to posting more regularly!! I really missed it (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
I will never leave tumblr because there is no other place on the internet where I can tell people that 80% of the time when I try to introduce myself to someone in the office that I haven’t met yet I get so focused on smiling and holding eye contact that I forget the part where I actually have to introduce myself (°□°)
#HELLO FRIENDS#how are you!! I missed you! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ#I hope you all had a good summer!!#mine was very nice even though there was a lot of stress and new things happening#suddenly there were so many adult things in my life that at the end of the day I just sat on the couch and watched decorating shows#I love decorating shows but today they showed this decorating competition and one woman had to decorate her whole bedroom coral#and then I knew it was time to go back#friends I've done so many new things the past few weeks!! I've really underestimated what this new chapter of my life would be like#it's very nice and I'm glad but I've never thought about things like insurance and taxes and parallel parking before#and I'm in a new apartment and everything!! ✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧#it is a very good apartment but the landlord left us so many of their chairs#this does not sound like a problem but we also owned chairs before#so our chair number is doubled now#the kitchen is full of chairs the balcony is full of chairs#I've hidden two chairs behind the TV but I can still see their chair heads and then I feel bad because they do not deserve this#they should be roaming free#also rode a BIKE#they say you never forget how to ride a bike#but my secret is that I never really knew how to ride one#in Germany all students have to do a bicyle test in fourth grade and I was so bad that my teacher asked me#afterwards if I had tried to confuse the other students#I just said 'uh yes' and then he said ok and I passed with the worst bicyle grade of the whole school#I hade made 8 bicyle mistakes#I hope you're doing well friends!! see you soon!!#have a nice day :)
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#matt smith#john hurt#is it a dotd giffing day?? why yes of course!#:D#haven't done this bit in a few years so here we are#i finished all the report cards today!!!!!#only 3 more weeks of work left until summer break#hope you all had a good weekend!
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I CANT USE CSS ON ARTFIGHT...............
#I WAS REALLY HOPING TO FIX THE FUCKING. PARAGRAPH WIDTH. SIGH#idk why but it stretches across the ENTIRE page like. it takes up the full width of the browser and it BOTHERS ME. ON ALL THE PAGES#i could try manually putting shift breaks but im worried it might not look so good on mobile. ugghh... auyggghhh.....#im already learning CSS and API so i thought i could put it to good use but. AUGH#this whole time ive had to go into the inspect panel myself and change the padding so i dont have to read the length of the screen#like a fucking typewriter... i would have also loved to use custom fonts and animations......#i did find a guide for BBCode which the site uses on default and it covers basic styling but its not the same. sniffle#you CAN unlock CSS if you donate $25 to the page which seems fair. and if i could do it i would but. i do not have any way of#sending or receiving money online </3 i really need to figure out how to do that so i can set up comms like i said i would last summer#but it intimidates me.... and im already kept on a short leash when it comes to that so it feels like a lot of things could go wrong#i think toyhouse allows CSS or some sort of code...?? i remember seeing some oc pages with custom layouts#if thats the case i'll try fiddling with it but im not very familiar with using toyhouse so thatll take a while#(thanks again for the code sal ^_^ ill put it on my pin once its ready but im trying to learn my way around the site heh ;;)#at least i can use my pixel dividers.. ive been digging around for pixels to use and found some really cute ones#yapping
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........creachure
#cats#his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way...#it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy#his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat)#I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol#the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally#I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh#currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from#sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous#and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that#I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky#because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr#ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your#guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature#be upon ye..#Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely.#but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start#On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed#.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes.#sculptures. edit videos. etc. ).#anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world
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painting the world pussy pink this summer in honor of beyoncé
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lofpapte. lifepate. life update
taikopilled or whatever the kids say these days. hitting drum all the time. desperately in love, or whatever the kids say these days. consumed with emotion. bursting at the seams with language. almost through to the end of the semester and look at these cool earrings i made will you do you like cool things do you want some earrings
#unironically selling them for 35$ a pair i had them at the cherry blossom festival today but#no one bought them!! they are cowards!!!!#anyway#here is my obfuscatingly vague blog post of the day#or year actually#much has happened and much has been discovered and SO MUCH CRYING#and HEARTBREAK and DESPAIR and HOPE and stuff#i cannot tell you all about it but i can draw a comic and i Will. mark my words#come the summer#which by the way i will be spending in australia playing taiko because that is the path i have chosen#life updates#i love you all and miss you dearly. i would be an Online guy except i am emotionally destroyed for both good and bad reason#too many wonderful people in this world. what can i say
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 16: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should offer to help the travelers with their broken wagon.....
~
After much internal deliberation (and some zoning out staring at butterflies), The Adventurer decides it would be best to offer his assistance. Technically, he IS still following his goal of not getting distracted, because theoretically it would make his journey much faster if he were able to catch a ride on a carriage. So really, this is all an ultimate big brain genius strategy for maximizing efficient travel.. Or, at least that sounds like a good enough justification to him.
Gathering up all of his social courage, he approaches one of the travelers fiddling with a broken wheel near the far end of the carriage and meekly asks if there's anything he could do to help.
The man was so focused on his task, he seems initially startled to look up and find someone near him. "OH..! Oh, uhh.. help? With the wagon?", he smiles pleasantly, gesturing towards a few wooden boards that are just out of his reach, "Sure, kid. If you could just hand me th-"
"Apologies, but we actually won't be needing your assistance, stranger." A taller man, surprisingly almost matching the stature of the Adventurer, suddenly slinks out from somewhere behind the carriage, sternly placing himself like a barrier in front of the man working on the wheel. Wheel Guy nervously averts his eyes, making himself smaller, silently resuming his work.
The Adventurer tries his best to maintain composure against the weight of the tall man's bitter gaze, but can't seem to muster much of a response "Aeughh,,, uh… b-but, h- Bu--HHHh,,?.."
"Look, disregard whatever my father told you, he's old, never has any clue what he's talking about. It'd be best for you to simply move along." ('Father'? They don't look alike at all, and seem to be nearly the same age..)
"W-well.. he.. he didn't really tell me anything, I me-hhH,,.. I mean, I literally just got here, s-so...."
"Good. Even more reason to be on your way."
Placing a gloved hand firmly on his shoulder, the tall man begins to motion the Adventurer away from the wagon, but a strange noise interrupts, echoing from inside. Perhaps some sort of animal sound? Or a person faintly yelling about something? Or… both?
"WH-wHggg… whAT was t-that???!!" The Adventurer immediately stops in place, pausing to listen as the tall man keeps trying to push him ahead.
"I didn't hear anything, stranger."
"No, t-there.. was dEFinitely, UHH, a-"
"Likely something in the forest."
"Wh--aah... d.. do you think it was an animal?"
The tall man continues a dramatic struggle to 'subtly' drag him further down the road, whilst the Adventurer mindlessly digs in his heels, too distracted to even notice he's being so strongly prompted to leave.
"Many animals do, indeed, exist within forests. This should not be suprising."
"...It's just.. ..eughh… s… so weird…"
"I assure you, it is not."
"I-it really sounded like.. like it came f-from insid-"
"Yes, from inside the forest. Now, please, if you would.."
The noise interrupts again. It's definitely someone, or something, in some sort of distress.. And definitely from inside of the cart.
"wHoAAGH, aa!!! T-tHat's NOT from the f-forest, that-"
The tall man fully just shoves him now, sending the Adventurer toppling across the dirt, clumsily rolling and landing just past the other side of the carriage. A mother and young child who seem to be part of the traveling group simply stare down at him with empty blank gazes, wholly unconcerned about helping him up.
As the Adventurer fumbles back to his feet (still confused as to why he was even pushed in the first place), the tall man looms by the carriage, diligently watching to ensure that he leaves.
"Travel safe, stranger."
Despite his initial obliviousness, the Adventurer begins to piece the situation together as he stares back at the man, now fully convinced something suspicious might be going on...
…What should he do next??
~
~
~
Additional Information
the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#poll#polls#choose your own adventure#ERM.. ... hee hee... yes.. alas.. it has been like two months since the last one lol#IT'S SUMMER!!!! how can anyone function in the summer..? It's literally 83F in my room indoors right now at this moment at NIGHT#I'm about to go to sleep.. who can sleep in an 80+ degree room comfortably?? ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#Really no hope of productivity at all from like June - September basically... EVIL.. and also the spring this year had some heat waves so#AUGhh... my nemesis the Summer.. Or moreso capitalism is my nemesis for worsening climate change and also keeping people in such#economic inequality that cheap apartments with terrible ventilation get made and people cant afford air conditioners and etc. etc.#but ALSO... the summer... grrrr.. 'Heat' you will never be famous.. you will always be lame nasty and so forth..#ANYWAY.. also sorry this is another blurb that's longer. The text is always longer when there's actually spoken interactions lol#I know I'm not very good at this style of writing (especially when rushing with these) so I always feel kind of awkward having really long#sections people will have to slog through or etc ghbjhjh but.. I don't really know how it make it shorter. the interaction#is just the interaction. certain things must be said and conveyed. peace and love on planet orth.#Ough it's been so long I almost forgot to draw his injuries lol.. in-world it's only been what like.. a day? since he got into a fight with#that mysterious cloaked person who was tracking him to steal the egg. I also always just forget how to draw him in between breaks#hopefully his hair and stuff doesn't look too different. They're meant to be really quick sketches anyway but still.. you at least want him#to be recognizable lol#ANYWAY.. another update from the Son.. what is he up to on his little traveles...
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The General in Retirement / written 28.08.22
#my writing#new poem! and in a New and Fashionable Format (i.e. printed out stuck in my journal on top of tissue paper then scanned)#the tissue paper is william morris by the way :-D i love william morris. my grandpa loves william morris. we all love william morris#yes this is another fairfax poem. what can i say i love him a lot#also ive been doing dissertation research over the summer and my dissertation is about him so hes been On My Mind#the inspiration for this one comes from a quote i read describing his victory at naseby in [clears throat] A More Particular and Exact#Relation of the Victory obtained by the Parliaments Forces under the Command of Sir Thomas Fairfax (report to parliament)#in which the author wrote that 'before the fight his former lookes were like a dead man to what he had when he went to engage'#and that made me Think a lot. i will not go into more detail as the poem basically Is the more detail but i wanted to include the#inspiration somewhere even if only in the tags (for tag perusers to find. secret contextual information as a gift for you)#i wrote this whilst i was camping this past week :-) you can imagine me sitting by a lake in a field in herefordshire with my notebook#i hope the scan turns out ok i had to wrestle with my printer to get it to cooperate and even then it's a bit blurry in places#anyway! i hope you are all doing well my very dear friends :-) i love you all very much. shaking your hands with good affection#no doubt when i post this i will find 10000000000 mistakes. but no matter i will cope [said through gritted teeth]
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ok ok so you know how my life has majorly revolved around my pain since july & how that has been extremely difficult :) well lately I find myself getting up later than I want to & making my bed as badly as I possibly can & getting out of the house after noon when I planned to get out in the morning & walking to the library when it’s sunny & sitting there for hours & the whole time I’m most concerned with writing & that it’s incredible what I’m doing, it’s a little paradise
#you know how I hoped September would be kind to me well it delivered#I actually didn’t realize how mentally poorly I was doing until I got out of it !#like oooooof it’s like a chronic pain veil#& to be very honest it’s because I’m physically better so I cannot blame myself and I don’t lol bc there will be a time when that happens#<< again#I mean better loosely I just mean I haven’t had 8/10 pain every day for weeks LOLLL#but it’s really quiet and beautiful & im grateful !!! like yay I can still create !#I’m not thinking abt my pain 95% of the day now it’s probably about 40%? 50? so a lot but I’m literally not every single thought LOL#sometimes it’s even like 20! not even cuz anything is getting better bc it’s not but I will take it even if idk why!!!#(& by nothing is getting better I mean meaningfully better but I have been blessed with some good days lately which I had none#of all summer)#I say this bc every day I wake up and immediately think OH GOD MY PAIN which is so valid bc it’s awful in the morning getting up is like#falling into a black hole Lol but also while that thought is still there I also thought#wow I’m so excited to write today I’m so excited to see what Jeremiah does#HE IS THE NARRATOR OF HEALING#also like SOOO PRIVILEGED to be able to do this like I also wanted to say that!#anyway update for u since I know I have shared the Despair but none of the beauty yet lol#lots of love chronic illness/pain bbs <3
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where the fuck have you been im going to to unfollow you
He had no idea he has followers?? He doesn't pay attention to his social media...
#[ LOL nnoitra + social media is so funny to me fjfjfj ]#[ SO YEAH he's not paying attention ]#[ and if this is for me - i've been on holiday with my mother and aunt :D ]#[ every year we go to our family's lil summer house in Lofoten ]#[ SO beautiful t-t one of my favorite places to spend time ]#[ and there is no internet there sO -- no online action for me t-t ]#[ but i got LOTS of drafts done offline ]#[ so gonna post them when they are edited! :D ]#[ hope you also had a wonderful summer anon! ]#[ and if you want to unfollow me that's all good ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.#talking shit. ╱ answers.
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ive been more depressed lately
#if you cant tell#during the summer i had some zest for life and felt actually happy lol but with the turn of the season it just disappeared.. so annoying lo#i keep having thoughts that boil down to "id be happier if i were happier' like lol#i know that spending time with my friends and family; always having something going on; engagine with my interests and keeping myself busy#all make me feel good and i think those things came easier over the summer#when im doing something of interest i just feel this whole world open up and everything feels lighthearted and easy and then when i fall ou#of those habits and start doing less everythig just feels dark#the depression i have now is 100x better than the depression i had as a teenager though. i didnt have the life experience to know that#things could be better#it does make me feel good to know that there are things that help#i just feel so mentally weak like there are times when i think of the thing i want to do but the effort it would take is monumental#and it stresses me the fuck out#i applied to a couple of jobs today because i just need a change of fucking scenery and i feel stagnant.#evereythig feels bleak and meaningless but i have moments where i feel everything open up. idk#i have hope for myself lol just that today in particular has been shitty like a concentrated version of the past few months#but i did apply to jobs which is something i was stressing about! and i bought some shit i needed to buy that i kept putting off#i often have so much on my mind and am so overwhlemed i cant even think of getting shit done. this shit is ruining everything#catastrophizing was my specialty in early high school ive been here before its just that being a young adult is a new frontier.#and i feel like ive been sitting in one place not moving even though i have been doing things i need to CHANGE things#i have moments of strength but i know that overall im struggling.#anyway thanks for reading. i have work tomorrow gn!
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Blessings!!
#sunrise this morning! got woken up early by birds it was lovely!#hiking with a dear friend made me remember (yet again) that I can experience joy unspoiled by grief!!#progress was made on the Tasks#chill time was had with the beloved family#flowers! sunshine! good nourishing food! water!#prepped a Bible lesson for camp this summer (so soon! Only two more weeks!) and was reminded to pray for the girls who’ll be in my cabin an#for everyone who participates in camp this year#and most beautiful and wonderful and blessed of all!! God is renewing my hope still and again and always!#living hope#please do share your blessings I want to rejoice with you my dears! and pray for you if you need it 🧡
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first day of camp 2022
#dandy's doodles#tpot#the power of two#tpot winner#tpot grassy#tpot rocky#kin#today was very fun :) so glad to be back at camp#it's like a second home to me#so many warm memories rush back to me whenever i'm there...#anyway - all of my campers are very sweet#i hope i can help them all have the best summer ever!!#oh yeah and i saw a bunch of my campers from last summer today#i was so glad to see them!!#(i didn't see my favorite camper from last summer though... and shhh don't tell anyone i had a favorite)#so yeah :) i'm doing quite well. my feet hurt though#i'll try to get good sleep so i'll be ready for more fun tomorrow at camp#and hopefully all of you lovely folks have been having a lovely summer as well!!!#(oh by the way - winner is wearing the new butterfly bucket hat my mom got me which i've been wearing to camp!!!)
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I said “oh swag ?” to a cashier at the mall today 😭
#I went shopping w my mom and it was very fun even tho I feel like I take advantage of the fact that she likes to spend money#every time she got me smth I’d get like money or gift cards and get her to take them 😭#traded a 50 dollar gift card I got from a customer group for 2 bras I almost gutted myself over trying on#and I traded a Starbucks gift card for stuff from lush but we went crazy in there#the girl helping us was so cute every time I was like omg this smells so good she would take it and be like okay I’ll get you a sample#to take home :-) GIRL I DONT WANT TO GET YOU IN TROUBLE 😭#I hope lush girls make commission on sales she deserves it#and then we went and got a shower shelf thing I needed it so bad and then we went to her house and picked up my brother and got food#and I paid for all of it bc my mom spent too much on me and my brother is unemployed 💀#and then I cried on the way home bc someone hit a cat :-( like almost had to pull over sobbing but I didn’t I powered through 🥴#and then I immediately went home and tried to out my shelf up and got mad so my dad helped me dear god I am begging to become independent#so then I cleaned and changed sheets and took the best everything bc shower in the world#and I think we get to cook at summer school tomorrow I love being able to do fun stuff w my students#I wish I got to **** ** ***** but that’s okay I will soon I love being delusional#I love everyone I love people I love my friends I love you#I love my personal diary#my posts
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drains collapsed. under house
#we've had on and off plumbing issues for like 2 months now & this is why. so#no clear reason why probably just. you know age and wear. uk sewer system's old and garbage#my parent & I have had flu also which I still have a lingering cough/feel tired from#anddd we haven't been speaking to my grandparents (who we prev saw like. once a week) for about the same length as the plumbing issue#after they did something pretty selfish and thoughtless and are the type too proud to apologise/want everyone to move on#so now we're at a stalemate bc we're still hurt and it's like. even if we do move past it#I still view them differently now. you know? family disappointing you really leaves you feeling empty#I already went nc with my other parent in 2019 cause they suck and then my dog died in 2020#just feel like I'm slowly running out of people in my immediate circle esp with pandemic limitations#and this is just like. a whole thing now on top of the existing energy crisis to worry about#also someone stole our recycling bin LMAO like I put it out for collection a few days ago and now it's just gone dk where it is#which is not that big a deal you can just order another for free but it's like. why'd you have to do that man#I want to be grateful for what I've got knowing people are living through warzones and famine rn but like#I'm very weak and things mess me up easily I won't lie#that information only makes things worse. I mean each year everything just gets worse around the world.#it's already blisteringly hot each summer I just don't feel very. hopeful about anything anymore#I've just been really depressed#I guess the good thing is not caring about anything means I don't even particularly care about venting this online lol#it's hard to feel any cringeworthiness or insecurity over anything when you're not feeling anything at all
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B A M <3 agh. where do i?? HOW? DO I START??? you are. so cool. i am just. Woah. when you first told me abt the classes youre taking and just like?? what you do?? i remember wanting to know As Much As Possible BECAUSE IT’S SMTHG THAT I WAS SO INSPIRED BY. i was like WHAT. im still so upset ill never have you as my english teacher but. I KNOW YOU’LL DO GREAT! and if you change your mind abt your career you’ll slay in whatever you change to! i just wanted to tell you that youve helped me so much? whether it be through texting me or the movie nights i was just. YOURE SWAG. END OF STORY. i hope youre doin alright bam and im giving you the biggest of hugs <3
brb sobbing omg
Bee— I just— you’re so nice and I love you and I would fight god for you wtf— INSPIRING??? brb crying again—
Though this does also remind me that I never said anything about the life crisis I had over the hell that was my second year lmaoo. I’m not planning on being an English teacher anymore (however if anyone ever needs any help I am always available <3) but I’m actually looking at going into publishing!!
Of course I wanna be a published author at some point, either through traditional or indie means, but I really wanna be part of a publishing house’s marketing or editing team because I just— BOOKS DUDE, THEY’RE SO COOL; I’ve already decided I’m gonna be one of @hella1975’s editors and she gets no say, you’re stuck with me for life now that you’re an irl 🥰
Anyway sorry for turning you’re absolutely sweet message into a rant about my career prospects lmao ~ I LOVE YOU BEE <3 <3
#ask#rambles#yeah I had a whole thing about my life when it was going downhill lol#I’ve actually recently applied for a work experience thing with penguin!!#idk if I’ll actually get it#but I’ve applied and I’m letting myself be hopeful#otherwise I’m applying for their internship next summer#cause— just— yeah#like I just want a job in the whole bookish. literature sphere#I know it’s such a hard sector to get into#like genuinely it’s so difficult#and because of tik tok and stuff I hate a lot of directions certain things go in#but STILL#I do Insta and yt for fun but they’re also pretty good for networking when they get bigger yk#but they’re genuinely just cause I have a laugh doing them lmao#I’m not consistent enough to make a job out of that and I wouldn’t want to put all my weight on something so volatile anyway 💀#anyway whatever this isn’t what that ask was about I’m gonna shut the fuck up#love you bee <3
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