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#'are you having sex in my bed?????'
saddlepunk · 10 months
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fascinating message from my mother vis a vis the camera in the living room that i unplug any time she leaves. her reasoning is that shes been cheated on in the past, so shes paranoid and needs to keep track of who's coming into the house. my reasoning, i feel, is that reason makes 0 sense because i am her Son, and if i bring someone into the house thats not... even close to the same thing??? what the fuck kind of logic line is that??? i might be doing secret illicit relationship stuff with... my own boyfriend? in my house where i live? what kind of an example for needing the cameras is that????? shes not in a relationship anymore, my """"dad"""" moved out already. what is the fucking issue here.
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siflshonen · 2 months
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Asexual Aromantic Senku Ishigami and his gay, common law married best friend and roommate Gen Asagiri who travels for his job
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canisalbus · 10 months
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Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever
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#thank you!#softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet#let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute#I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow#it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping#if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly#sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off#sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to#and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals#socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc#and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust#it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it#getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart#especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them#even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep#and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience#I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite#anonymous#answered
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doriana-gray-games · 11 months
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Ms Hudson is hilarious I love her. ‘Her current hobby is getting Sherlock married well’ meanwhile my Sherlock is falling for their morally dubious penpal.
How does Ms Hudson feel about the Ros being in a relationship with Sherlock? Which ones does she like the best?
(Mrs Hudson loves you too! 🥰❤️)
Hmm 🧐
Well, as is quite obvious in ch4, she is a big fan of H. So for now, H is the clear winner in her book 🏆 Rich, respectful, good-looking, rich. What's not to love.
Other than that, W is probably nr 2 on her list. She would make jokes like "Or if you two could marry one day—" much to W's embarrassment.
L is quite low in her books... they vary from place nr 3 and 4 depending on how charming or rakish Adler has been lately. Mostly because L doesn't talk much to Mrs Hudson, I think they are a little terrified of the old woman...
A is usually at the bottom. She likes A a lot, but... she does not trust them. She wants something more stable for Sherlock. But if MC tells her they are happy with A she will ofc be happy for you too ❤️
She doesn't even know of X lol. X would have to win her over first to even appear on the list—or tell her they have an impressive occupation/income.
*If mc is the same sex as the ROs she doesn't really ship the two (yet) because she doesn't know of either one's preferences. She can figure it out with time though, or if you tell her (and then she will become very shipping enthusiastic indeed) 🤭
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hood-ex · 8 months
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Sometimes I still think about an ff.net fic I read yeeears ago where the writer was Catholic, and she wrote this whole poem about how she was sorry to God for sinning, but the yaoi/smut was so good that she couldn't make herself stop reading it 😭.
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duckyfann9871 · 1 month
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The asexual x allo dating dynamic is so wack because you guys will have sex like once a month and they’ll be really needy for you but you’re like “?? We literally JUST had sex!” And they’ll be like “no we didn’t, it’s been like 2 weeks” and you have to remember how some people literally do this like every other day HOW
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dapandapod · 1 year
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I can't believe no one requested the hickey fake dating snippet yet.
So here you are, my knight in shining armor!
I gotta say, I have been looking forward to get this one done! It’s closing in on the end and uh 👀 I am gonna give you the mere beginning because the rest is juicy spoilers 🤭
Please enjoy!
Wip ask Game!
“I can’t believe you told them it is our honeymoon!” Jaskier hisses.
“I said I’m sorry. They were going to kick us out.” Geralt says tiredly, not for the first time that night.
Jaskier mutters some more under his breath, poking around in his stew. Outside the rain is pouring down, and Geralt has pretty much no regrets about his little lie, other than Jaskier’s obvious discomfort. He is doing that nervous thing he does with his hands, where he touches his fingertips to his thumb over and over again. It seems to be a soothing thing, so Geralt never stopped him, but he doesn’t like to be the cause of it.
It wasn’t his intention to lie. It was just… It was so very nice to shut up the usual comments about Jaskier being his whore, and unfeeling witchers, and all that stupid shit.
It also… possibly.. tickled a secret corner of his mind, where he might have imagined this before.
But none of that matters as he watches Jaskier, trying to smile through his frown, his cheeks red and his hands ever fidgeting.
Their eyes meet for a moment, and Jaskier sighs.
“Stop looking at me like that. That kicked puppy look. It’s just. You realize that for that act to work, we are going to have to be… close?”
Geralt looks away. He didn’t think about that. Of course the bard wouldn’t want that with him.
“Hmm. You don’t have to… We could pretend to fight? I could sleep in the stables.” Geralt offers, looking down at his stew.
“What? Wait, no. Geralt, I meant, you hate having people touching you.” Jaskier tries to catch his eye, and Geralt tries not to look like he is sulking.
He doesn’t mind per say when people touch him, it’s just that they usually touch him with a goal in mind.
Everyone but Jaskier.
“It’s alright.” He mutters, and Jaskier looks properly unimpressed.
“Really. So if I cozy up to you right now, you won’t get all stiff on me in the morning?”
Alright, so maybe Geralt is not very good at people touching him. Doesn’t mean that he minds it. Much.
“I’ll behave. My fault we are in this anyway.”
He tries to say it softly, well aware of the people in the bar watching them still. He lifts his left arm in invitation, and it only takes a second of hesitation for Jaskier to scoot closer, to press their sides together.
Now that Jaskier is this close, Geralt isn’t sure where to place his hand. This might have been a mistake.
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compacflt · 11 months
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idk if this question has already been answered or not but idrc, would your ice have considered it "talking about it" to admit his physical attraction towards mav? like calling him beautiful or genuinely complementing him. this goes for mav too
i do feel post debriefing ice would call mav beautiful openly or some sappy bs like that
love your writing 💌
anon i need you to know this ask was so cute it made me physically nauseous. i was sick all week thinking about how cute this ask was. thank you for sending it.
i actually had a couple drabbles where yes ice both pre- and post-TGM mission is like yeah im physically attracted to you, but it’s less like “oh my god you’re so hot 😍” and more like “i mean, yeah, you objectively look like tom cruise so it’s not like i really have a choice.”
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but “beautiful” specifically i had not thought of, and it has knocked me off my feet and made me go feral/rabid/undomesticated for a few days straight, so i will be writing something about this. thanks.
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passinoutpieces · 1 year
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new P.E.G. ad poster just dropped!
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tswwwit · 2 years
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Could we get a taste of that new work you started…👀
Heck, have the whole thing! This is for that AU of an AU where Ford captured Bill/Bill was his familiar, and Dipper freed him, like an idiot. Here's the first fic and here's some needed backstory.
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Dipper leans over to let his fingers trail through the water. It’s oddly warm to the touch. Bill’s voice carries, weird and echoing, over the river and through the empty city.
Which Dipper’s ignoring, for the moment.
Not like he’s missing much; he can't understand the lyrics anyway. Bill’s demonic singing continues over his inattention. 
This dream is distinctly… not a good one. On the surface, at least; Dipper’s not terrified, but only because of his company.
He also might be a little jaded at this point.
Truth be told, he’s visited a lot of dreams at this point. They’re Bill’s go-to meetup spots. Though Dipper hasn’t really been the biggest fan, so far, he’s never been in any danger. That he knows of. Bill’s made sure of that.
Bringing Dipper to a dream that lacks his idea of 'pizazz', or gore, or immediately evident monsters is a new tactic - but at least it’s not a bad one.
It’s eerie, for sure. The silence beyond Bill’s yodeling adds an extra layer of ‘creepy’ - but the boat is nice, the company’s familiar. Even the water’s warm against the tips of his fingers, leaving clean, bright lines in the river -
Dipper yanks his arm back with a start, and he shakes the water off rapidly. Some of the red drops leave spots on his shirt and pants.. 
The broken surface of the water bleeds bright red. Like wounded flesh.
Dipper grimaces. He’d back up, but there’s no space in the gondola.
And - as a bonus - it looks like it’s attracting more glimpses of half-formed shadows. Of course. Dipper can only catch them out of the corners of his eye - dim, too-lanky shapes he never fully sees through the fog in the alleyways - but maybe it’s best to ignore those, too.
Still not a bad dream, necessarily. Things could be way worse.
But like everything to do with Bill, it’s unnerving. With a side of ‘constantly feeling you're being watched’. 
“Ahem,” Said triangle clears a nonexistent throat. Bill thumps the stick on the bottom of the river, the one he’s been using to guide them along the city canals. “Hello! Listen up, sapling, I’m serenading here.” 
Dipper shuffles around until he finds a shaky seat back in the gondola. Bill doesn’t bother. He doesn’t have to worry about balance, with his floating in midair thing. 
“This is… interesting.” Dipper says. Bill brightens up, lower eyelid rising. So that’s a start - but he’s not sure how to follow it. He tucks his arms around his legs instead. “Why are we-”
“Vide stellas quae tremunt!” Bill continues his song without any notice of the question. Dipper tries waving at him, but he’s already closed his eye.. “Amoris et spei!”
No explanation, then. Dipper rolls his eyes.
God forbid Bill not have attention on him for ten seconds.
“I sense,” Bill says, tapping under his eye thoughtfully. “That you might not be appreciating this, kid.” Said eye rolls in its golden socket. “Why am I not surprised!”
At Dipper’s shrug, Bill grumbles something under his breath, and pushes the gondola along. Silent, for a moment.
Dipper shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Absent the music, this place is extremely eerie. There’s a light fog on the canals, and he doesn’t dare look into the alleys.
In a way, he understands why Bill’s like this. Needing company. Demanding attention. Being demanding is part and parcel of his demonic nature, and he was also stuck in a prison for thirty freakin’ years. That alone would make someone deranged. 
Bill was just insane even before that.
Thankfully, irrepressible as always, Bill starts humming some other tune. Dipper’s glad he started again; he must be in a better mood. Bill’s huge eye narrows slightly in contemplation.
Then he lets out a low, self-satisfied cackle, and rubs two hands together. A third arm keeps steering the boat.
Dipper rolls his own eyes. 
Yeah, this is definitely going to pan out like Bill expects. Because everything Bill’s done has worked out great for him.
Bill said he had plans for Dipper, but he’s taking his sweet time getting to them. It barely seems like there is one, most nights.
Whatever he’s after, it might work better if he focused on his goal.
Instead, he’s making Dipper focus on him.
Every time they’ve met up - and it’s been months - Bill’s clearly making some kind of effort. He’s hinted at a deeper truth, dozens of times. He taunts, and he talks, and even teaches on a whim. His methods are obscure and bizarre, they seem out of place - but Dipper gets the sense that Bill genuinely thinks it’s important. 
He must really be distracted by his ego, because so far? His ‘plan’ doesn't seem all that sinister. It’s like he’s barely started it, or it’s genuinely not-terrible - which is why Dipper willingly joins Bill in his dreams. 
Okay. That, plus a certain amount of sheer, idiotic curiosity. Dipper’s not perfect. 
But he knows Bill’s trying to show him something. 
Maybe if Dipper got it - whatever ‘it’ is -  then he’d be able to thwart the plan. But until he finally gets it, or it comes to fruition or… Until something really evil happens, he guesses, then they’re just going to keep… 
Meeting up? Hanging out? Dipper’s not sure which phrase fits right. 
Judging by how it’s gone so far, that ‘until’ might be a while. 
So long as Bill’s just reveling in attention, though - there’s no reason to stop him screwing himself over. Freedom seems like a big deal to him, and if the last few months are any indication? He’s been enjoying it immensely.
Feeding Bill’s ego a little can’t hurt, and it’s. Not bad, really.
Dipper just. Doesn’t have a lot of people to talk with who aren’t family, and Bill’s always up for a conversation. Even if it mostly devolves into bickering about stupid things, and Bill’s awful, awful jokes -  Dipper’s finding he doesn’t mind that much. Bill’s quick-witted, weirdly charming for a person who’s a shape, and his magical knowledge has a depth that’s breathtaking. Even if it comes in an annoying golden package.
Whatever works, works, though. As long as Bill’s eager to hang out, then Dipper might as well indulge him.
After all, Bill could be up to worse things than bothering Dipper. And when it comes right down to it - he’s kind of fun. In an insane, demonic way. 
Dipper’s still cautious. He’d be an idiot not to be. 
But so far, Bill’s keeping his word. 
Come to think of it, the plan must be one of the reasons Bill’s still here, in this dream. He’s making sure this isn’t a nightmare, while he tries to convey his… something. Possibly in a manner that won’t completely chase Dipper off. But if he can figure it out, before Bill manages to be super evil - 
Dipper tucks his arms around himself tighter in the chill of the fog. He shakes his head to clear it. 
This is novel, and interesting - 
And very, very dangerous. 
He’s got to stay wary. Reminding himself that Bill is absolutely insane.
“What, you chilly or something?” Bill sets fists on his angles. He was humming for a while, but now he looks curious. He even floats in a bit, while the stick keeps steering the gondola without a pilot. “This is what you get for having a crappy endothermic system.”
“Shut up.” Dipper tucks his legs together too. The temperature, if anything, seems to have dropped by a few more degrees. “Didn’t you make this dream? Can’t you control the-”
“Ahem. Unlike some amateurs, I know how to set the atmosphere.” Bill shuts his eye, somehow managing to look self-assured without a face. He wags a chiding finger at Dipper, floating close enough to flick his nose. “You wanna keep your empty nightmares on refrigerator settings. Fits the whole ‘eternally preserved’ theme.”
“And how does singing bad opera fit the ‘theme’?“ Dipper smacks Bill on the side. Dumb move, it only hurts his fingers - though Bill's not cold, like the air. It makes him pause. “...Hey. That wasn’t in Italian.”
“When in Rome, speak as the Romans do! And they were chatting in Latin before your forebears had forebears.” Bill shrugs, nonchalant. “It's the source of Romance languages!”
A minor detail. One Bill’s using to avoid the question - and he only resorts to being a pedant when he’s caught. 
Dipper narrows his eyes -
Then seizes the opportunity.
And the triangle. 
As Bill thuds against Dipper's chest, he wraps his arms around him tight. Bill flails a bit, muttering something impossibly muffled against Dipper's chest. How does that happen, he doesn't even have a mouth. Dipper decides to ignore the impossible, yet again. Squeezing Bill a little harder, like he could crumple him like tinfoil. Knowing that he won't.
Man Bill’s warm; radiating off him like a personal, annoying space heater. Dipper can already feel the sensation returning to his fingers, gripped tight on Bill's edges.
And frowns. “Wait. I thought this was supposed to be nightmare Venice, not Rome.”
“Cripes, what a pedant.” Bill groans, the hypocrite. Dipper can’t see his eye - he’s rotated it around to face forward - but he’s sure he’s rolling it as well. He floats lower in Dipper’s lap, and one raised finger jabs the soft underside of Dipper’s jaw. “I bet you’re a real hit at parties. I couldn’t take you anywhere!”
Bullshit, Bill’s arrogant enough to take anyone anywhere, and be smug about it. 
And if he’s trying to pretend he’s not in a good mood, maybe he should stop glowing so bright.
Dipper squeezes him a little tighter. Bill’s been caught, he can’t escape - and while he hasn’t totally settled down, he’s letting his legs dangle over Dipper’s and only kicked him once. It was barely a tap.
“I get it. You’ve never spent much time in Italy.” And Dipper smiles. This’ll get to him. “Bill Cipher claims to be the dream demon extraordinaire - but he never managed to bother a Pope.”
The sharp, indignant noise Bill makes is so, so sweet. Dipper jostles the top hat with his cheek, just to bug him more, and listens to the ensuing weird burble with a grin.
In the end, Dipper gets a thoroughly informative rant about the intricacies of both Italy and Rome and parts of an empire that he’s pretty sure never existed. Bill’s alight with indignance - and amusement. Possibly at his own bullshit.
Dipper really, really wishes he had a notebook with him. 
Talking with Bill is always fascinating, and infuriating. Half of this has to be bullshit. Some of it might be true. Dipper… should really check out more history books. Maybe then he’d have more chances to call out Bill’s bullshit, with facts. For the moment, questioning him on every aspect pokes enough holes to help sort out the fiction.
It’s an easy conversation, and a long one. Bickering with Bill takes ages, makes Dipper struggle for words, he’s usually a little annoyed - and it’s oddly pleasant. In that Dipper doesn’t have to be pleasant. Or even nice. Bill absorbs it all with infinite confidence, and shoots back with pointed ripostes. 
“-And that’s why garum was crappy, and ya shouldn’t miss it.” Bill finishes. He pats Dipper’s arm twice, and, reluctantly, is released. He floats up above the gondola as it drifts, slowly towards a dock. “But I think we’re getting off topic.”
“How? We-” Always argue, Dipper was about to say. That was before he stood up; now he’s thinking better of it. “Shit.”
He tries to balance as the gondola shakes; some of the blood-water laps over the sides. Crap, arguing with Bill is one thing, but he didn’t want to literally rock the boat. 
Bill floats up further, watching the sloshing - and starts laughing. 
Dipper glares, but the stupid tiny canoelike thing is shaking under him, he grips the sides. Since they’re next to the dock, he smacks a palm on it. It steadies things, barely.
“Pfft, loser.” Bill’s lower eyelid is raised in amusement. He watches Dipper struggle for another moment - then laughs harder, before holding out a hand. “C’mon already!” 
Dipper takes the offer, absurdly grateful. Bill’s hand is very warm, like the rest of him.The black void of the not-flesh is a strange non-texture under his palm, steadying him before he falls. Dipper fumbles for a moment before holding onto it tight. Even though the boat is about to capsize, Bill’s got him. 
Bill brightens up and squeezes his hand back. Not hard, surprisingly, maybe a little teasingly, and it makes something flip around inside Dipper’s chest.
Bill hauls Dipper bodily up onto the dock, with surprising strength and a cackling laugh. Dipper feels a quick slap just above his hip as he briefly stumbles. 
Crap, that was fast. He almost backpedaled into the canal again from sheer surprise - but his grip on Bill means he only lent back for a moment.
Bill, the asshole, thinks it was amazingly funny. He’s leaning forward, another sixty degree angle in the air.
Dipper flips him off, heart racing fast. He wonders how Bill managed - but, right. He’s a demon, of course. Physics don’t matter. Those weird, noodlelike arms defy them on the daily.
One of said arms prods Dipper in the stomach. “Man, kid, talk about clumsy!” Bill’s still chuckling. His surface flickers with amusement, eyelid raised in a smile. “I shoulda let you go for a dunk!” Then a thoughtful rub under the single, narrowed eye. “Though I do like you less dissolved. At the moment.”
Dipper narrows his eyes. His valiant attempt to crush Bill’s hand in his own fails at the complete lack of bones inside.
Bill’s insane and weird and clever. He’s the strangest being Dipper’s ever met - but whatever his motives are? It’s - so far - been fine.
Dipper’s not dunked. Or dissolved. Hell, if anything, he should always be more terrified. With what Bill does. With what Bill is.
Best of all, that wasn’t a handshake. Even though Bill’s still holding on, it’s not in the right position for one. Interlaced fingers don’t count, he’s sure.
Dipper struggles at the touch, and gets his hand back, eventually. He wipes it on his pants, trying to shake off the thought.
It definitely wasn’t a shake, because they didn’t make a deal. If they had, Bill would be gloating about it. Dipper can put that single heartstopping moment behind him.
He’s still thinking about it as Bill leads him through the city. The conversation is mostly Bill rambling, their usual light bickering. 
Dipper may be wandering around a nightmare, but with his palm flat on the warm surface of Bill’s back, at least he knows nothing else is going to freak him out. Bill would get huffy about not being the center of attention.
“So whatd’ya think of the main dream? Took the blueprint off a guy with agoraphobia.” Bill tugs one one of the passing door handles - which doesn’t move. When Dipper looks closer, it’s literally painted on. “No indoors, anywhere!”
“It’s kind of…” Dipper thinks about it. Nearly silent streets, cold and misty. Even if Bill wasn’t here, it’d be… “Empty.”
“Uh, duh, that’s the point.”
“No, I mean,” Dipper scrunches his face up, trying to think of - he isn’t much for horror movies, but exposure to Bill has shown him enough. “There’s no ominous signs of who was here, either. Like, I’d think there would be… half-eaten meals on the cafe tables, or, like.” He snaps his fingers, trying to think of remnants - “A single, empty child’s shoe.”
"Oh, very nice! I like how you think, sapling.” Bill taps Dipper’s temple, twice, before patting his cheek. Dipper leans away before he can pinch it.  “Even if it’s not your thing, you always got something going on in that bonebox, don’tcha?”
Dipper just shrugs. He can’t not think. A dream demon liking what he does think is… morally questionable. 
And, maybe, kind of neat.
“We don’t see enough of each other these days. A few hours at a time is nothing.” Bill continues, waving over the scenery. “Not that I’m not a fan of you letting me whisk ya off  in your dreams - but what about reality?”
“Nope.” Dipper drops his arm, folding both of them over his chest. “Not happening.”
Freeing Bill was…. Arguably morally gray. Dipper doesn’t regret it, but Bill is an asshole, and Ford was convincing. The main advantage of Bill’s freedom came with their deal, Bill was in a terrible position to bargain.
The second best part is not having Bill on Earth anymore. He’s still dangerous, but not immediately so. 
To reality. No so much for people hanging out with him. 
“C’mon, kid. We’d have way more time together when you aren’t conked out!” Bill sidles closer. One thin arm wraps a couple times around Dipper’s waist, while the other waves broadly over the scenery. “A full Europe trip, just for two.” A brief pause. “Not that you’d get this kinda quality in your mundane version of that continent, but whatever.”
“If you say so.” Dipper hedges, that sound extremely subjective. Bill blinks at him with genuine surprise; it makes Dipper fidget for a second “I haven’t been out of Gravity Falls in-” Hell. When was the last time he went back to Piedmont. Or anywhere else. “...It’s been a while.”
Bill takes another second to stare. Then sighs. His enormous eye rolls around and around in its socket, in yet another exaggeration. 
“Well, think about it, kid. One of these days, we’ll get to it. Me and you, on Earth!” Bill prods him firmly in the chest, eyelid raised in a smile. “We could take a long stroll through the streets, check out a couple cafes, crush a couple local governments- Then teleport over to a boulangerie for pastries! It’d be a great time!”
Insisting on reality. Again. Dipper holds back a sigh. 
Letting Bill into the world - even with the compromises Dipper managed, is a horrible idea. 
But right now Bill’s off in his own little world - literally, in a way - and that concept isn’t one he’s going to accept. Not the tactic to take to argue against it.
“I guess it’s a nice thought. Or fantasy, anyway.” Dipper pats Bill twice on the edge. “You’d stand out a little too much.”
Even Dipper needed a couple weeks before he got used to Bill. He’s a giant demonic triangle made of maybe-gold. Bill Cipher, in reality, would send pretty much everyone screaming, or reeling in horrified awe. 
Probably, Bill would love that. Right up until it meant no cafe service.
“Yeah, yeah, most humans have no taste. Doesn’t mean it’d ruin the occasion!” Bill wags a chiding finger. His arm slips from its loop around Dipper so he can rest a fist on his edge. “What’d’ya think shapeshifting’s for?”
“For wha-” Dipper starts - then jerking back, as Bill’s form changes. 
Dipper turns his head away, shielding his eyes against the bright light. And grimacing.
This demonic drama queen. The light isn't typical for his changes, he’s doing it for show. Whatever Bill’s turning into, he hopes this shape won’t have too many limbs, or infinite teeth - or  worse, pick him up again - 
Trying to smack Bill is always an option, though. Especially when he’s trying to be dramatic. Dipper lands the punch easily, operating on muscle memory -
Into something warm. And firm - but much softer than gold.
Bill starts chuckling. There’s a slow, rhythmic motion under Dipper’s knuckles.
Already, it’s far from the worst Dipper’s had to deal with. Bill’s not on fire, or scaled, and there’s no huge tongues licking out between his tiers. He’s not even slimy this time, though certainly more…. organic. 
Dipper opens his mouth to tell Bill off, blinking rapidly - 
“So! What’d’ya think, sapling?” Bill’s grin is wide and white and close. Too close, his sudden surge in makes Dipper lean back on instinct. “Ya like the look?”
Dipper stares.
“Eh?” Bill prompts again. Now he’s wiggling his eyebrows.When he doesn’t get a response - he sticks out a tongue - a pink, human tongue, Dipper watches it flick back in. “Where’s the insult?”
Right. New shape. Bill… wants feedback, something to stroke his immense ego. Dipper should….  
Say something. Probably.
He looks again at that face. A human face. Bill’s standing there, intimidating; he has eyebrows and a nose and white teeth in a wide smile on this - Dipper looks down, then slowly up again - human form, leaning over him.
“Um,” Dipper says, eloquently. He does another once over, lacking for words, until he meets that single golden eye. And swallows, once. “...Hi.”
“Not too shabby, if I do say so myself,” Bill continues.  He adjusts the collar of his shirt, smoothing back his hair - then digging a finger into his fleshy cheek, and twisting it. “I think it’s a pretty accurate translation!”
Dipper nods. He opens his hand by fractions, until his palm rests flat on Bill’s chest, then thinks better and grips the shirt instead.
Okay. This. Is a new one. 
Bill’s face - he has a face - is all angles, with a pleased, smug, too-wide grin. He thankfully still has only one eye, otherwise Dipper wouldn’t know where to stare - and he's very much up in Dipper’s personal space. Warmth still radiates off him, just like before.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Bill says dryly. He grasps Dipper's side, just near his hip. His hand is bigger now, and - and Dipper shakes his head to clear it.  “So! You and me, strolling through the city-”
Bill rambles on, per usual. The familiarity is steadying. Dipper squinches his eyes shut - then blinks, but nope. The scenery hasn’t changed.
This is. Normal. For Bill. Because this is Bill, showing off again. They can move on. 
Will move on, because Bill’s looking like he wants to continue their walk. Dipper should. Follow him. That’s the right thing to do.
The first step is turning away. Easily done, if he stops gripping Bill’s shirt so tight. Forcing himself to loosen his hold works - but now he’s touching Bill’s chest again, and that isn’t great. Though it’s very solid, like Bill - because it is Bill, in a different shape, he needs to remember that. The shirt is soft, though when he strokes it. Maybe silk? Dipper -
Should stop touching it, what the hell.
Bill keeps rambling, arm warm against Dipper’s back. Dipper nods out of habit, stepping forward as Bill leads them on through the city.
Dipper forces his arms to his sides, holding them rigidly in place. He’s keeping them to himself. Thankfully, Bill doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about that.
Not that anything is, but. It might make things weird if he did think that.
Which means Dipper can relax, if only a bit. Demonic self-absorption has some benefits after all. 
This is only another strange shape Bill’s taken. He’s turned into way weirder ones, for way longer - and for dumber reasons. Whatever prank he’s pulling is - Anyway, it’s only lasted maybe two minutes, it won’t be much longer. If that’s even how long it’s been. 
Come to think of it, how long has Dipper been asleep? Dream time and real time never entirely track, and from this perspective they’ve been hanging out for a few hours. Longer than their typical meetup, since either Bill has ‘business’, or Dipper wakes up. Usually the latter. Eight hours real time is more like two or three in the dream realm - 
…Which might be why Bill complained about it.
Bill keeps commenting on the city. Gesturing around. Possibly describing how conquerable it is, as he guides Dipper along on the midnight nightmare stroll, 
Dipper isn’t sure what, exactly, the current topic is. He isn’t paying much attention. 
He rubs at his forehead. He doesn’t feel much more centered, even with Bill’s arm around his waist again. Still warm, and somehow more solid. Certainly broader.
It also pulls him in and around, until he’s confronted - again - with Bill. His golden eye alight, looking him over skeptically.
“What, is this boring you?”
“I- what? No.” Dipper says. He nearly touches that chest again, and then the arm - but the biceps aren't any better. Technically speaking. He clenches his hands into fists, holding them to his own chest. “...Okay, maybe a little.”
Compared to some random nightmare city, recent developments are much more distracting. 
“Yeesh, tough crowd.” Bill tuts, pulling Dipper in until their sides squish together; Dipper still doesn’t know where to put his hands, he tucks them over his stomach. “See, this is why we gotta get more hangout time!”
Bill’s other arm waves over the dream, and a space in it parts, folding up the rest of the scenery. Like opening a curtain, the city is shoved away to two sides, pleating like in a skirt. 
The space opens into a void full of not-quite-stars.
Dipper leans in closer, and feels Bill’s arm tighten. 
There’s a myriad of images floating in blackness. Things floating through space that’s not space, with a huge pyramid, black and ominous, somewhere in the distance. 
The real heart of the nightmare realm Bill comes from, he’s seen glimpses before - 
The one Ford told him never, ever, ever to take a single step into. 
“You have a point, sapling. And I’ve had it with the tours of these run-of-the mill mental meanderings.” Bill never stops talking. He’s almost proud of it. “Now that I’ve cleared the squatters out, you should come crash at my place!”
Dipper yelps as he’s hauled up - damn it, he should have expected that - and braces himself on Bill’s shoulders. He nearly falls, Bill’s grip shifting, until he clamps his legs around Bill tight.
Not that he would fall - Bill wouldn’t let him - and he’s always been inhumanly, unfairly strong. The arm under his butt and the hand on his back would stop Dipper from escaping, even if he wanted to drop to the cold cobblestone ground.
“Cut it out.” Dipper kicks out from sheer indignance, anyway. Damn it, he knew he should have seen this coming -  and Bill nearly stumbles to keep him in place. “What are you playing at?”
He’s done with this prank. With having to look at that face, with its. Everything. With Bill hauling him around like he’s a pet, damn it, he made that clear long ago, when Bill was still imprisoned. 
Now he wants to bring him to the center of a mess of insanity and nightmares, what the hell is with that.
Maybe Bill can actually drive people insane. Because part of Dipper - the part that keeps saying ‘okay’ to their meetups has already started a horrible, insidious whisper. 
Telling him everything else has been okay. Wondering if it would really be that bad. 
“You clearly don’t care for the the terror atmosphere, kid. I’m fine with ditching it for the moment.” Bill jostles him in place, grinning wider at Dipper’s glare. “I got options! We can set up something else.”
“Like what.” Dipper says, flat. 
“Look. Bribing you, Pine Tree? It's hard,” Bill says, with some chagrin.. “I’ve already given you power - not that you’re using it - and you got the pleasure of my company. You’ve even got some of the secrets of the universe on hand, but you keep dodging chances to hang!” His eye narrows. “What’re you really into?”
“I-” Dipper hesitates. Without a retort prepared, he’s not sure what to say.
“Name it and I’m there, kid. You did me a major favor, we’ve been walking out for a while -  and I’ve been nothing but a gentleman when it comes to us.” He puts a strange emphasis on the word, one eyebrow raised.  “What’s not to like?”
A lot of things, honestly. None of which Dipper can say.
Demon, for one. Dangerous, definitely. Insane, absolutely - and through all of that. Dipper has kept meeting up with Bill, even though he could use any of the dozen wards Ford has tried to foist upon him. 
Bill’s hand is stroking his back, there’s an arm underneath him and it’s weird and - 
God, Dipper wishes Bill wasn’t still in this shape, it’s throwing him off. For a prank, it’s weirdly well constructed, there’s no uncanny valley. Now his mind is racing
Actually, didn’t Bill say it was a translation? 
Like. If Bill was a human, this would be how he looked. Still all angles, in a way. Unnaturally strong, oddly fascinating, and with amusement evident in the sharpness of his smile.
“Good! You’re thinking about it. Lemme know what’s cooking in there.” Bill’s grin is white and wild, a dangerous shape on his face. “I’ll give you anything you want.”
A smile that, now that Dipper looks at it, isn’t all that sharp. If he tugs the corner of the lips with his thumb, Bill makes a face, sticking out his tongue -
With a start, Dipper realizes he’s been staring at Bill’s mouth.
Bill snickers, but doesn’t respond. A slow smile, with his single eye half-lidded, and close enough that Dipper can feel the breath on his face. Dipper’s heart is going triple-time, and Bill’s very very close. 
At some point Dipper wet his lips, involuntarily. He watches as Bill’s eye glimmers, then slowly shuts.
And - 
The blare of the alarm cuts through things like a knife. 
Dipper sits bolt upright in bed. Heart pounding.
For a full ten seconds, he flails at the sheets blindly, surprised - until he remembers where he is, and lets his arms drop.
He stares around his room with out seeing it. Still bleary, blinking slow.
What…?
Dipper sits there for another long moment. The sun isn’t even up, why did he set his alarm so early. He knows why he did it but. Now it seems ridiculous.  
He wanted to make it less than eight hours. To make it cut off before Bill was expecting it. 
Before either of them expected it, this time.
“Shit,” Dipper says. 
He fumbles around for the cup on the bedside table. His mouth is dry, and he needs something to center himself, but he only manages to knock it over.
The memory of the dream - a lucid, very real event - is stuck in the forefront of his brain. Dipper can’t shake it. All of the Bill-dreams have been vivid, but this one is even more so. 
He almost -
Dipper rolls over, sheets tangling around his legs, with the memory searing bright in the forefront of his mind.
Even when he pulls the cool pillow against his face, it doesn't help it feel any less hot.
That thing keeps running through his head, no matter what he does. The memory's too vivid to be anything less than real. How close he was. The warmth. How Bills eye fluttered shut, along with the vivid picture of his mouth, lips slightly parted.
He's never - but then Bill was -
Dipper hugs the pillow tighter, letting it absorb him in its comforting softness. Even the tips of his ears must be red by now.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
He should have listened to Ford. He should have taken those warnings to heart.
He’s heard so many of them. 
Don’t talk to demons. Don’t get involved with their magic, don’t make any deals, don’t interact at all except to eliminate them.
And do not, under any circumstances, speak too long to Bill Cipher. 
Ford's smart. He knows how to handle almost every situation, and he's cautious enough to come up with almost every eventuality.
Dipper never had a warning against wanting to kiss an evil triangle. He swears a little more into the pillow, tense and frustrated.
God, he's an idiot.
Bill’s weird. He’s insane. He’s all about every aspect of twisting a mind into absurd shapes - hell, he is a shape. Not a human. Not good.
And not into anyone, as far as Dipper can tell. On the very rare moments the topic has come up, Bill’s been disparaging at best - and even if he was, it would still be a terrible idea. 
Dipper pulls the pillow tighter around him. He thunks his head-and-pillow combo against the mattress, embarrassment writhing in his chest.
He’s going to get up in a moment. First, to make some coffee - a lot of coffee - 
And second, to come up with his own plan. 
Bill knows about everything, or at least he claims to. He definitely likes it when people are crazy, but odds are? He won’t appreciate this kind of madness.
But with any luck - and some careful work, on Dipper’s part -
Bill Cipher will never, ever know about this.
#Me: Oh hey I could write a quick little short for this idea!!#Also me: *staring at nearly 6k* _ :(´ཀ`」 ∠):_#I invite you all to imagine the following with me#First that Dipper is going 'shit shit shit' for a long while about this revelation#He hasn't taken any of the hints for a variety of reasons. Partly self-esteem but also the triangle thing. And Bill's ALWAYS obscure#Never directly talking is 'fun' up until it isn't#And second that Bill has been going#Why'd he have to wake up JUST THEN?? Talk about crappy timing#Just a demon holding his (He thinks) soon-to-be lover. Five centimeters from a smooch#Then *pop*! He's left holding empty air#Augh!! The twenty-seventh date was going so well! Makeouts almost happened!! Oh well I'll get em soon enough#Man I am such a great boyfriend Bill says to himself very smugly#The upside of this AU of an AU is that they both had time to get Squishy Feelings about each other instead of starting off with hate#The downside in a way is that now Dipper unlike before has PLENTY of time to overthink the hell out of this#Good luck Bill you'll need it to get him into bed. Now that he's not in the moment enough to spring for an impulse driven by hate-lust#It's gonna be a while until these losers officially get together but hey that's technically the same#Just in one instance the sex came first and in this one the feelings did#Mind you any 'ily' is a long way off; they're still settling in at this point. Give em time#answers#When will my ability to write short things return from the war *wraps shawl around self and stares distantly at the wine-dark sea*#Gonna give a thumbs up to pchelaus for the kick that motivated me to finish this
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scarefox · 1 year
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This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.
Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.
He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.
I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.
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divinekangaroo · 27 days
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Finishing the Dark Knight and cannot stop laughing: Nolan's ability to finish a movie is like Sting's ability to finish a song.
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thiefbird · 2 months
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writing bad sex is at least 3x harder than good sex
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une-sanz-pluis · 2 months
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God I hate Lauren Johnson’s “Henry VI had a sex coach" thing.
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compacflt · 9 months
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Do you have any opinions on what kind of music mav and ice like? I’m just curious as someone who has motorcycle riding 80s navy dad whose favorite two artists were Madonna and Bruce Springsteen if you think the answer would surprise us? Or if they’d be as predictable as always
Yeah nothing crazy. kinda predictable i guess. classic rock, country rock, classic blues, nostalgic 60s folk, contemporary stuff when it comes on the radio and isn’t unlistenable by their middle-aged-white-man standards.
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+ of course ice’s somewhat gay Fleetwood Mac entanglement
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slimeciclecock · 7 months
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slimariana are so funny because they'll have canon sex 6 times on 4 separate occasions and they'll be dressed differently each time
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