#if shes still on this shit when i get home i might legit just call it here bc im not abt to sit there and let her do this shit again

[saddlepunk]

fascinating message from my mother vis a vis the camera in the living room that i unplug any time she leaves. her reasoning is that shes been cheated on in the past, so shes paranoid and needs to keep track of who's coming into the house. my reasoning, i feel, is that reason makes 0 sense because i am her Son, and if i bring someone into the house thats not... even close to the same thing??? what the fuck kind of logic line is that??? i might be doing secret illicit relationship stuff with... my own boyfriend? in my house where i live? what kind of an example for needing the cameras is that????? shes not in a relationship anymore, my """"dad"""" moved out already. what is the fucking issue here.

[thebearer]

baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.

read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!

contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.

"Shit."

The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.

After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.

You were late.

A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.

You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."

"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"

You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.

"I thought you said you wanted kids?"

"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"

Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."

Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.

You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.

"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.

"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"

"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.

You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.

"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.

Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.

You hoped Carmen would be in them.

That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.

"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.

Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.

Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.

"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.

"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."

The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.

Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."

"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."

"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."

"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."

"Then-Then how the fuck-"

"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.

"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.

"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."

"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."

You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.

"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.

You were alone.

"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"

"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.

"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"

"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.

"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"

"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"

"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"

"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.

Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.

"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."

"I did not-"

"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"

"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.

"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"

"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"

"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."

"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.

"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.

"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.

"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.

"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.

Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.

"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"

Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.

Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."

"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.

"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."

Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"

"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"

"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.

"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.

"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"

"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."

The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.

"You left?"

"You fuckin' what?"

Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.

"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.

"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"

"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"

"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.

"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."

"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"

"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."

Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."

Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?

"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.

Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"

"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"

"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.

"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."

"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.

Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.

Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."

"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"

"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.

"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."

"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."

Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"

"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.

"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.

"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."

Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.

He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.

Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?

You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.

You'd be better without him.

His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.

Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.

It didn't work, of course. It never did.

His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.

You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.

Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.

You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.

The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.

You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.

"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.

"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."

Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.

You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."

Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.

"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."

Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"

"Yeah, I-"

"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.

"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.

"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.

"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.

The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.

"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"

Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"

"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"

"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."

"How you would be?"

"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.

Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."

Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."

"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."

You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.

"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.

"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"

"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."

"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"

Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.

Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"

"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.

"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.

Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."

"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"

"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."

You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.

"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."

"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.

Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"

You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.

"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"

"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."

Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"

"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."

Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.

Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.

For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.

[void-bitten-ghost]

Modern Mizu hears you like a bit of 'danger and excitement' from one of your friends, so she takes you to an underground fighting ring for like, your fifth date. This is after the gun range fiasco, so you've already seen a side of Mizu that not many have been allowed to see.

When she mentions this idea you're like, so fucking excited but still kinda like??? There's one of these here????? Nearby????? Holy shit yes???? Please?????? That's so cool?????

She specifically avoids answering how she knows it exists. This isn't about her. This is about sharing an experience she loves and you've shown interest in.

She picks you up on her bike (because Of Course she would have a motorbike that's like either this hand-me-down or a fixer-upper she restored) and you go. It's exactly what you thought it would be, off vibes and dodgy people, but being with Mizu somehow makes you feel safe because she's confident. But it's not an arrogant kind of confidence, it's a steady, assured sort of confidence that puts you right at ease as she takes your hand and leads you through the crowd.

Now, something you don't know is this is not Mizu's stomping grounds. Not even close. But she knew it by name and reputation and it was close enough you could both make a night out of it rather than three. Although... she wouldn't mind if that were to happen--

She snaps back to reality when you step forward and holler out encouragement to the scrawnier one of the two currently in the ring. The corner of her mouth quirks at your enthusiasm, a brow lifting and a hip popping as she crosses her arms to just. Watch you. As you lose yourself to the energy of the room.

The match ends with the scrawny one getting his ass handed to him by the dude built like a brick shit-house. She expected as much. It takes a certain amount of skill to be able to take a mountain of a man like that down while having such a slight build. She'd know, after all.

Anyway. Everything is going swimmingly until some prick pushes his luck trying to get your attention. You very bluntly tell him he's barking up the wrong tree and he does not take the rejection well. Mizu tries to not intervene directly with your battles too often. You're a capable person, it's one of the things she lov- likes. Likes about you.

But then the burly fuck reaches for you. You smack his hand away and go to headbutt him. She grabs you by the waist before you could start the climb to reach and if you weren't so riled up you might have short circuited at the feel of her calloused hand on your skin.

"This bitch yours, mutt?" He grunts to Mizu, and you see fucking red.

"You fucking dare call her a mutt you jumped up little cun--"

"Yes," she says over you, calm as a still lake, and you do actually short circuit at Mizu calling you 'hers'. The heat of anger in you switches gears to something far sweeter, but no less scalding.

"And I would appreciate it if you didn't upset her," Mizu says, her fingers trailing to your hip and gripping a belt loop possessively. You can suddenly feel every point of contact. Hip, arm, chest...

That's when the man looks at Mizu. Really looks at her with a lean forward and squinted eyes, looking over her tinted shades.

"Onryo," he breathes, and you feel Mizu tense behind you. She hadn't heard that name for a good long while. It was a name from her troubled youth. One she thought was long behind her since going legit.

"You're a long way from home, demon."

"What of it?"

You could sense something was happening as the two spoke in what you thought was an amicable tone, but then Mizu is pulling you behind her and shedding her jacket. You take hold of it instinctively as she went to drop it on the ground and she finally turns your way.

"Everything is fine," she tells you in that same confident tone, but she must see your confusion and anxiety written on your face because she takes your chin in her hand and gives you a quick peck on the lips. You stand there with a stupid, dumbstruck look she grins at as she--

She's heading to the ring. She's heading to the middle of the ring and she's shedding another layer as she climbs over the freshold oh dear gods you don't know what to do. What to think. Holy fucking shit she's right there in a sports bra and baggy pants while wrapping her knuckles-- where did she get wrappings from?????

You're more than short circuiting at this point. You need a soft reboot. Maybe a full reboot at this rate since she's sliding off those tinted glasses and-- oh.

You see her eyes.

You've seen them before, of course. But not like this. Not with this intensity behind them. Like she's looking right through her opponent to predict every single movement his future self might consider making. That indomitable focus had you flushing with heat from head to toe as you watched, mouth parted, breaths quickening.

She floors a man twice her size and three times the bredth and your knees might give out. Are you swooning? You might just be fucking swooning holy fuck--

But then she gets gut punched and then tackled by a secret second opponent and you snap back into the whole situation.

You scream out encouragement to Mizu until your lungs feel dry, and then you scream some more. You want to be the loudest. You want Mizu to hear you and know you're rooting for her while she wipes the floor with these cheating bastards.

There's four of the fuckers now. Four all dressed in similar... you hesitate to call them uniforms. More like they all shopped at the same tec-wear store at the same time. But shit are they fast. You have the slightest moment of worry when you see the glint of metal fly past in one of their fists--

Mizu breaks thier arm with a sickening twist and a wet 'crack', and you think you might never have been so turned on in your entire fucking life.

(And also you might need to address and analyse some things about yourself later...)

The metal drops to the floor with an audible clang and a loud noise goes off somewhere. You're going to be honest, you're not really paying attention to anything else other than how Mizu moves around her opponents. Even outnumbered she holds her own, muscles coiled and yet her movements are smooth like flowing water. You can't help but think of the type that wears away cliffsides and cracks apart mountains, because that's what she's doing. She's fighting smart where they're fighting with force, and she is kicking their fucking asses--

Others converge on the ring, the crowd flooding in to hold them all down and you can't help but notice it takes five fully stacked men to hold Mizu down. And even then that only lasts about seven seconds before she breaks free, methodically picking them all off one by one before she launches herself into the now turbulent crowd.

That's when you panic, shouting for her while elbows and shoulders send you this way and that. You narrowly dodge a fist to the face before a hand grabs yours. You're ready to swing right back when you lock eyes with those sharp blues you so adore.

You both book it out, avoiding flailing limbs and thrown table legs. You've somehow still got Mizu's jacket in the crook of your arm when you both make it outside and keep running, only stopping when the sound of sirens was long, long off in the distance.

You're both curled over in a dark, dank alleyway, breaths haggard and coming out as clouds in the crisp night air.

You look up from your knees, ass pressed against the brick wall to support your wobbly legs, and you can't help but crack a grin when you see Mizu in a similar state, only just realising what the fuck just happened.

The grin breaks into a laugh when Mizu looks to you with a bright smile of her own, it's a wheezing thing at first, but then it becomes a full belly laugh when she joins you. And oh, is that such a rare sight. Mizu losing herself in a laugh and then looking at you with the most beautiful full face smile you've ever seen in your life.

Your giggles die in the face of that smile, replaced with a quiet awe and probably the dumbest looking lovesick stare--

Steps. Multiple steps approach the alley and Mizu's first and only instinct is to hide and protect you, pressing you back against the wall and covering your mouth with her hand, catching your yelp of surprise before it could really become an external sound.

And ohhhhh, what a predicament you find yourself in. Pinned to a wall by this very strong and capable and, evidentally, dangerous woman who took you out tonight to a place you would only dream of going to and protected you the entire time and then caused a room wide fight to break out that she was, up until that point, winning--

Ohhhh my phone is currently dying a death imma have to post and carry on later because my brain is a bastard that way 🙃

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Thinking about Frank Castle x Avengers!Reader

You met him through Bucky because Sam would obviously try and find Bucky a veteran's support group like the one he ran in CATWS but in Brooklyn - which led him to Curtis' group (I've put this HC in previous writing and I stand by it)

You're roommates with Sam and Bucky and occasionally they host poker night with some of the guys and one night you come home from an evening stroll to a kitchen table of vets and beer and cards.

You smile shyly and say hi to the group and Frank is instantly smitten.

But it takes weeks of casual small talk and asking Bucky about you for him to finally pluck up the courage to ask you out.

Once you make things official, he doesn't want anyone coming after you in retaliation against him plus he's so scared to lose yet another person he cares about. So he asks to keep your relationship secret even from the rest of the Avengers, which makes you roll your eyes because you have super powers you'd be fine to defend yourself against any of Frank's enemies.

Frank also worries you might be a little ashamed of him publicly. He thinks it might be harder on you if the world knew you were dating a criminal vigilante. Avengers get lots of press and attention and he'd hate to bring his drama into it and hurt your image and potentially all the good you do in the world even if you don't give a shit about the publicity side of it.

Which means a lot of sneaking around - dates in darkly lit restaurants and such.

Date nights frequently get postponed because you getting called on last minute missions or Frank takes longer hunting down a gang than he was anticipating.

Even if you go weeks without seeing each other because of your busy work lives, the love is always still there and you both do a great job of making up for lost time.

When you give him recaps of your recent missions, he always scoffs and gets worried about your safety and asks you not to go into such dangerous situations but obviously you have to it's your job.

So you at some point have to make a rule that he gets no interference in your work stuff. He can make any request in your civilian life to keep you safe (ie. you can't go out at night without him, etc.) but is not allowed to make any requests about your job.

Until inevitably your work crosses paths with his work because the street level gangs and mob bosses he takes down tend to have ties to bigger things like Hydra and such.

One night you're at a warehouse upstate following a lead on a Hydra weapons facility and bump into Frank who was tracking down a human trafficking ring that was also linked to the same address.

Since he knows you, Bucky and Sam, he agrees to help the Avengers just this one time.

You could never convince him to join up and "go legit" no matter how hard you tried. He liked working alone and with noone giving him orders.

As you raid the warehouse and take down the enemy, he's aghast at seeing you put yourself in harms way so flippantly but you have powers and Shield training, so of course you're fine.

He's never actually seen you in action before and he eventually gets over the fear and is super turned on at seeing you be so bad ass and kick booty.

Yeah, the passionate "I missed you. That was so badass. I was so scared. God I hope we don't get caught." sex you have behind the warehouse as the mission is wrapping up is steamy and animalistic.

Bucky has super soldier hearing so he hears it and figures it out first.

Except Yelena has actually known for months because she's a spy, duh.

Sam is the last to figure it out but isn't surprised, you two are so compatible it seems obvious that you should be together.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm always brain rotting about really silly things like food, fashion, and transportation in the devildom compared to the human world. world building i suppose?

but how do you think the spice levels compare? like there's different types of spicy, and the devildom for sure has spicier stuff. But i wonder how spicy it is. Like Mammon's hell sauce noodles...

I'm thinking about this because my mom cooked dinner, and she always makes separate food for me and my little brothers if she's using chiles (in this case it was just meat cooked without the spicy sauce). and i tried some because I'm trying to finally build my tolerance and I was dying at the first bite 😭 tastes so good though. she gave me a surprised look when i added more spicy food to my plate

i already know mammon would make me try spicy things for shits and giggles, or new foods because I'm a picky eater. Also there's a saying/joke in Spanish where people will ask if you were angry while making something if it's too spicy lmao.

I haven't been too active because I've been busy working early shifts and training in framing at my old store (forgot to set my alarms the last two days), but tomorrow I'm off, and going to ihop and bookstores with my friend !! she's trying to finish her current read so we can buddy read King of Wrath together (king of sloth comes out soon). I'M SO EXICTED

Anyway i hope you're having a good day/night, and I'm very excited for the anniversary banner. May everyone's boys come home 🙏

- ✨ anon

Ohhh yessss I love worldbuilding! And there's so much they leave out, there's plenty of stuff we can fill in, which is always fun.

Okay so spice levels, apparently it really depends on the individual as to how spicy something truly is. This is because humans at least have the ability to make themselves less sensitive to capsaicinoids, which is what they call plants with capsaicin in them. That's the spicy, I think they evolved with it to prevent predators from eating them, but humans were like nope we'll just get used to it!

Anyway, I think this is relevant because it's going to depend on whether or not demons also have that ability or if it's different for them biologically. Like okay, if humans eat enough capsaicin, over time they become partly immune to it, which is why some people can eat really spicy food and other people can't. I think some of that might also just be genetics... like some people might be born more resilient to it to begin with. But don't quote me on that lol.

So demons either have a natural immunity (not completely though because they clearly can still taste the spice, it's just much less) or they also have the ability to desensitize themselves to it.

I like to think it's a bit of both just like it is in humans, but demons have a higher tolerance level to start with. And they all have it. Because they're demons and that just feels right, you know?

But I also think it'd be interesting to consider that the tongues of demons are made of different stuff than the tongues of humans. Or that there are some demons who have tongues that are more scaly or something. Just because that'd be fun lol.

Anyway, I think the spice levels in the Devildom are probably pretty high. I like to think that Mammon has an especially high tolerance due to the fact that those spicy hell sauce noodles are his favorite. You know he eats them all the time and if they can also build tolerance, he must be super used to it by now.

I definitely think he'd make you eat spicy food lol. That's just how spicy food lover are, too. I'm also extremely sensitive to spicy foods. I've been trying to build up my tolerance, too, so I've been adding some hot sauce to things, but it's nothing compared to my brother in law. His spice tolerance is insane. And he's always like, here try this it's not spicy. I have learned not to believe it.

I love the idea that being angry while cooking makes food spicy.... I feel like there could legit be a spell for that in the Devildom, too.

There you go working all kinds of crazy shifts again... truly Mammon coded lol. I hope you had an amazing day off and enjoyed your time with your friend!! I looove bookstores and pancakes, so that sounds like an excellent time!

I hope you're having a lovely day/night as well! And YES I too am quite excited about the HDD~ spreading all the love & luck to all to get their faves~

[princess-of-the-corner]

"In what sense? Of timeline? I mean each Season is going to be roughly a year?"

Sorry for not being specific.

I meant summary of what changed in each season in comparison to Canon

Okay hm so off the top of my head without going too far into my notes:

Actually side thing is I just realized that most of the Major Changes have to do with the various villains. The Trix being salvageable to the Good Side(after a bit), Darkar getting downgraded to normal, Valtor has been changed completely tbh. The Wizards of the Black Circle have been almost completely yeeted. Tritanus is more of a civil war situation than an outright coup.

Interesting tbh.

Season 1:

Same basic plot of Bloom learning about Magic and going to Alfea, learning about her actual heritage, the Trix being fucks. Some things go sideways, some plots are diverted.

Changes include

A good chunk of adjusting the whole 'Ancestral Witches' thing and the Fall of Domino because having that happen ages ago but also less than 20 years ago is ?????. Short version: A group called 'Ancestral' that wanted to take over everything invaded Domino for the Dragon Flame. Yadda yadda Daphne yeets Bloom to Earth, gets Spirited in the process, most of the population is killed, most members of Ancestral were either killed or arrested but a few escaped. This is treated as a semi-recent tragedy that most Adult characters remember

Faeries and Witches are the same thing, just using Light vs. Dark Magic. Not different species. Not good vs evil. (Light is not always 'good', Dark is not always 'evil'). The neutral word for them is Magixae. While people from all worlds(other than Earth for reasons unknown) can use base Magic, only Magixae have major powers and can transform like they do. And they only make up a small percentage of the population.

Stella actually has plans to study as both a Faerie and a Witch because stuff with Solaria and the duality and all that. She's starting with Faerie though.

Alfea/Cloud Tower/Red Fountain are colleges, not high school

Bloom actually has friends back in Gardenia, though they're all going off to college, but they appear when she goes home for breaks

Bloom is 100% aware she was adopted and they do kind of assume from the get-go that her bio parents might be from one of the other Magical Realms and she just ended up on Earth

Winx is very 'Sci-Fi disguised as Fantasy' so I'm leaning hard into the fact that they're all aliens and have non-human features and biology which will get explored!

Sky and Brandon still switch places, though it's less 'prince and the pauper' and more a legitimate thing of there's been assassination attempts on the royal family. Diaspro and the arranged marriage also still exist, but Sky is 100% adamant that he's not going to marry her no matter what their parents say.

The Riven/Darcy plot is a legit thing with like. No hypnotisim just genuinely liking each other even if Darcy did start it up just for info. Temporary breakup when the Trix go full evil but....

Kinda dragging the Trix into more 'somewhat understandable, villains with genuine goals not just' to be evil, salvageable and will be dragged to the Good Side eventually' kinda plots. Longer posts on that, but Darcy is the first to jump ship because she's like 'Look I am an ambitious, power-hungry bitch, but I draw the line at full on murder/massacres'. (Speaking of, don't. Don't question the logic re: befriending the person who tried to destroy the world last week. I'm doing some Friendship is Magic shit wtih this we only think about fucked up implications when we want to.)

Diaspro also gets some character development when she tries to take Sky out of the major battle and he decides to stay

Bloom's adoptive parents and friends from back home get dragged into this and are actually helpful in the battle.

Season 2:

Mostly the same plot re: Pixies, Darkar, adding Aisha, so on and so forth. Lot of changes to what Darkar is and the whole shadow phoenix/shadow flame thing with a touch of change to Dark Bloom.

Changes off the top of my head:

Diaspro and Darcy are now added to the main cast as well. Diaspro enrolled herself into Alfea because she wants to find something to do other than being Sky's trophy wife(he's still not into her). Darcy is serving community service. Both of them get dragged into the main plot because the adventure is underground and their powersets are great for this.

Darkar has been downgraded to 'just some guy'(which like. Having a supposed Deity be defeated in only one season and never come back? Kinda lame!). Previous member of that 'Ancestral' group that attacked Domino. Wants the Dragon Flame for the original 'let's take shit over reasons.

His plan involves the Dark Bloom thing. He learned from seeing the Trix fail that taking the Dragon Flame by force won't work, so he decides that using magic brainwashing stuff to have Bloom turn against her friends would work. So we get him posing as Avalon to get access to her.

The "Dark Bloom" thing isn't a 'Dark Faerie', but Bloom channeling the dark/negative emotions into her Magic and going Witch(remember: same species, just depends on where they draw their Magic from)

What is the 'Shadow Phoenix' thing? The opposite energy to the Dragon Flame? It's the Dragon Flame itself. Some yin and yang shit. It is everything. Creation and Destruction, Life and Death, all of it.

Oh also Riven can go Faerie and we get some of his trauma lmao.

Season 3

Final year of Alfea, earning Enchantix, etc. Some of the plots are the same. But there are many a change!

So, firstly, I switched up things for gaining new forms. Charmix was just kind of a 'natural level up progression', but Enchantix takes the new 'you have to overcome something personal'. Mostly because I think it's fucked that Enchantix is supposed to be the normal endgoal(with other forms being optional) but you have to die to get it??? Also there's too much bullshit regarding 'must save someone from your world' because hello??? How do you decide that what counts as 'their world? What do you do with Bloom other than Mary Sue her way out of it?

So everyone gets a plot relating to overcoming something, but we're also going on trips around the Realms and visiting their Homeworlds.

This is probably the most plot-heavy season as everyone has their own arcs going so I won't go into it all here.

But also know that as we're trraveling to all the worlds, we get a LOT of worldbuilding

[sunsetcorvid]

So your grizzco ocs. Give us the deets on one of them.

i'm actually going to tell you about ALL of them

UNLEASHING AUTISM

Rusty "Mr. Yeehaw"

man's got those He/Him pronouns

Short king, he's 5'0" !!

Gay ass homo

Been working at GrizzCo since he was 19, he is now 24.

Has a "Roommate" named Ace. He is currently learning Octarian and Sign with him so they can communicate better!

Keys is teaching him Octarian.

Eggsecutive VP

He is your work dad.

Yellow ink in his hair hmmm

Wore the Howdy Hat to work one day and he just became known for it. Started his signature crew like this, they all have nicknames.

Group leader, also has management abilities due to being a long working employee and a general responsible guy. (Which means he puts weapons he knows Stinger doesn't like in the rotation for shits and giggles.)

Worked at a convenience store when at the location in Inkopolis, which just so happens to be near Agent 3's house.

Milo "Stinger"

Demiboy He/They, that's so cool!

Woah he's bisexual I didn't know that! /ref

Got his nickname from always being targeted by Stingers when on shift. (Which is the main reason why he has so many scars.)

Started working at GrizzCo when he was 17. He is now 22.

Second member of the crew. Got their nickname second. Been best friends with Yeehaw since their first day there. They are bros for real!

Profreshional +3 (Had a few bad shifts, working his way back up to VP)

The eye scar is a mystery

They keep getting asked out by this one guy at work, but then the guy leaves the moment Yeehaw arrives.

He's like your super cool uncle.

Likes to start drama in the break room for fun. (And to mess with Yeehaw.)

Sylvie "Egg"

So you're non biney? like you dont have any binery? thats so poggers

They/Them pronouns too?!?! amazing!!

They are the youngest of the crew at 16 years old!

They are also very tall! 5'9" man what the hell!

They have a rule for themself to never attack salmonid. They feel bad. However, they make up for this by bringing back a shit ton of eggs and making sure each crew they're on clear the shift! (Any time they've failed a shift has been few. Very few. The others become concerned when this happens.)

Called "Egg" because they're always collecting the eggs!

Third member of Yeehaw's crew.

Really looks up to Yeehaw and Keys. They're sort of like their parents, to them at least.

Eggsecutive VP for how many shifts they clear!

Mochi "Keys"

She/Her and trans lesbian she's so cool!!

Oldest of the crew at 33 years old. Though she is the most recent member, having only joined about six months ago.

Girl is TALL at 6'2"

As mentioned before, she is teaching Yeehaw Octarian for his roommate.

Mochi was the first thing she ate when she got to the surface and was still trying to figure out her name. That is why she is named "Mochi."

Has that gay/lesbian friendship with Yeehaw.

Due to only joining within the year, she doesn't have many salmonid scars and she might not get many more. She is quite skilled.

Profreshional +2 but girl can handle VP if the crew get together for a shift.

She's like your work mom.

Egg is like a kid to her, so don't fuck with Egg or Keys will find you.

Got the nickname "Keys" from breaking into Ammo Knights that one time and also she's the person you go to when your locker is stuck.

Seek her for her wisdom.

Ace

Rusty's "Roommate"

Legit started as a roommate situation though

Gay ass trans man with those He/Him pronouns!!

Same age as Rusty, 24!

He doesn't actually work at GrizzCo. He's well known there anyway.

Known as "Yeehaw's definitely totally roommate and not his boyfriend."

Sometimes he'll walk into GrizzCo if he's bored and wait for Rusty to finish whatever shift he's on.

Rusty found him half dead while on a shift a couple years back and just said "Damn i don't want this guy to die" and took him home.

Ace has a good bit of scars from that.

Rusty didn't actually know his name at first because Ace doesn't speak and one day admitted to not liking his original name (his deadname.) so Rusty comes home one day trying to find him eating a deck of cards and he had the Ace of Hearts in his mouth, so in that moment Rusty called him "Ace" and he ended up really liking that.

He can understand Inklish, he just can't read it very well. This is why he is learning Inklish Sign with Rusty and Rusty is learning Octarian!

General Info on All!:

If they all get together for a shift, there is chaos. They still get shift done, absolutely, crazy shit just happens. Glowflies on high tide, there's like eight Flyfish in one wave. There's almost always a Cohozuna. But they bring back a shit ton of eggs and always clear the shift, they are gods.

Yeehaw will sometimes bring an extra lunch for Egg because he knows they like his sandwiches.

And then Ace will show up some days if Yeehaw forgot his lunch. Making sure the guy who saved your life is fed!

Stinger constantly teases Yeehaw about Ace, which is why he hasn't full out said they're in a relationship.

Sometimes there's a group game night. Milo is banned from Mario Kart.

Rusty and Ace totally don't have date nights in their apartment, totally don't cuddle at night, totally don't fall asleep in each other's arms when watching a movie.

The guy who keeps asking Milo out is called Jackpot. We don't know if that's his real name or nickname. He's convinced Rusty is Mr. Grizz (Despite the fact that Grizz has a sorta boston accent and Rusty's is Very Much Southern.) and he dislikes Grizz. This is why he always leaves when he tries asking Milo out.

Okay I think that's it! These are my GrizzCo sillies!

[themagnusbane]

Gap The Series Episode 02 Thoughts

1. Everyone calls her Mon. But you can call her future wife. Love of my life. Walking goddess. Baby girl. The choices are endless Sam!!

2. Hfffgghhfhh. Or babe. Babe is a good pick too 😂😂.

3. Aaaaaand we have our first eye-fucking of the episode!!! This show’s like we know lesbians. Half of their foreplay is eye-fucking, and we aim to be as accurate as possible. To which I say, thank you for the blessing and consideration 🙌🏾🙌🏾

4. Oh Sam dearest. She’s not saying you’re old. She’s calling you Mommy!! 😏

5. Hear that “Your Line in my phone. Now” voice??? And you wonder why she calls you Mommy 😂😂

6. I feel you Sam! If my crush gave me their jacket, I’m never washing it, or taking it off!!!

7. Thanks for clearing his dumbass Mon. He really has no claim to jealousy. Also, dumbass legit thinks it’s straight behaviour to be obsessed with a woman and plan your life around her for over a decade 🤣🤣🤣🤣

8. Mon you silly child. Send the message!!!

9. Find you friends who call you stupid as a sign of affection 😂😂

10. I swear if this show doesn’t end with Sam’s grandmother living alone in that big empty house, finally coming to the realization that her entire family hates her, and she’s the only one to blame, and the sisters reunited and celebrating over having broken away from the chains of her control… I will be so pissed!

11. You go Song!! Tell her!!!!! I’m guessing this is probably going to play into a lot of the hurdles that Sammon will face cuz something tells me Sam will have Song in mind every time she’s with Mon 😭

12. Kade is the only one in this friend group with sense. Thank you Kade!!! 🙏🏿🙏🏿

13. I too communicate with stickers. And I too overanalyze the messages I send to my crush. I feel so seen 🥹

14. Mon is fighting to hear that “good girl” from Mommy Sam, and honestly… valid. Very valid

15. It took you 8 missed calls? EIGHT???? Boy you’re lucky. If I was Sam, you’re done.

16. Yo! Sam really is in high demand. Mon, you have some stiff competition

17. And now there’s the head on her thighs, soft lights and smiles, with soft music and soft hair stroking this scene is so soft. My heart!!!!!! Kiss you two! Kisssssssssssssssssss!!!!

18. Urgh! Kirk you pussy blocker! We were about to get a kiss!!!

19. Same Sam! I’m as pissed as you that she picked up Kirk’s call!

20. “I want to be useful”. Gahhhhhhhhhhh! Words I don’t know her. I am grinning, swooning puddle!!!

21. She’s dealing with a migraine but still wants Mon to let her know when she gets home so she knows she’s safe. Oh Sam. How do you expect her not to love you??? 😭😭

22. Also bitch! What do you mean by she should stop being formal with you? You were the one who told her not to call you Sam remember????

23. Lol! Not the “no text. Call me instead.” And the I want to hear your voice subtext.

24. Sam. Sweetheart. We know you like her. But she can’t read your mind. This yo-yoing of her emotions is going to come back and bite you in the ass!!

25. Sam I see you!! Sneaking in some snack delivery to your crush cuz you just can’t apologize for making her cry the previous night. Smh!

26. Mon is like nah. Lady is another word for bitch. And I’m not getting bribed into not feeling like shit cuz of some confectioner. If you want to apologize. APOLOGIZE. Girl!! I marvel at your audacity and I’m in awe of your spine! Go Mon! 💪🏾💪🏾

27. If not that Sam’s grandmother is attempting to force him on Sam as a husband, I might have actually liked Kirk. He understands her, and gets her and can read her. Now if only he could stay in friends territory, instead of the drama we are heading into, I would have absolutely adored him. Urgh!!

28. Sam. Full sentences my love. Not everybody speaks Sam. 😂🤣🤣🤣

29. I swear. Sam and Kirk’s friendship is the only good thing about this attempted forced marriage

30. Kirk you deserve the world. Just not with my girl Sam. But I shall spend this entire show praying that you find your own love. You are too good an egg to be unhappy 💚

31. She’s trying to scare you Sam 😂😂😂

32. Urgh!! What is with this assumption that the man waiting for her (even though she never asked him to) is her boyfriend?? Nop doesn’t stand a chance in hell. Everyone else seems to know but his dumbass. You cannot puppy your way into her pants. It’s not going to work!

33. Sam. Sam. Sam. Your jealousy is showing sweetheart 😂😂

34. Sam is so proud of her ghost tactics. Girl, Mon is better at this game than you 🤣🤣

35. Becky’s little tongue poking at the side of her mouth thing just made me moan. Make of that what you will.

36. Yup. The eyeglasses being pulled down thing is hot as fuck.

37. That next episode preview?? *quietly* what the fuck?!

[galactic-pirates]

Ok Picard episode 8.

I procrastinated on watching it. Actual avoidance. So it’s at that stage /sigh.

Spoiler warning as always.

First let’s focus on the positives.

I am not someone that loves to hate. I am frustrated because I love and I do love Trek. So were there any good moments?

Yes Deanna and Riker’s banter was mostly pretty cool. Worf needs to learn a sense of timing as enemies were maybe still around and I wasn’t very taken with Riker’s seeming jealousy? But otherwise everything between Deanna and Riker felt very natural. Even their talk about grief. It would be easy to say Deanna shouldn’t have messed with his head but she was in the throes of grief too. His pain and her own and the love all mixed up together. People make irrational choices in an emotional maelstrom like that. Considering what they went through, I think they were just coping best they could. So yeah their relationship was a high point.

Raffi taking on Vadic’s soldiers with swords made me go “Elnor!!!” because did our favourite sword wielding badass teach her? Watching Raffi fight was cool. Worf banter afterwards was good too.

Seven finally snapping and correcting Captain Asshat was long overdue.

BUT as we’re now getting into the “not so great territory” the fact that he didn’t seem to learn or care about the correction is maddening. Habit might have meant he continued to say Hansen, but what comes out first doesn’t have to be last. He could have acknowledged Seven’s words and ruefully corrected himself and he did not.

Captain Asshat having a go at Seven in the middle of the situation was also a WTF moment. If he disagreed with the call and wants to chew her out, do it afterwards when they are in the ‘report writing phase’. If they can talk under their breath say something useful to think of a way out, or encouraging for morale. Busting her chops was just going to make everyone feel worse. Piss poor leadership to what stroke his own ego?

Also changelings are resilient. If Seven had blown the lift that was no guarantee it would have killed Vadic. They are goo. Besides as I recall it Shaw practically dove in the turbo lift offering himself as hostage. If he wanted it blown that badly I suggest not being in it. Anyway laying the guilt trip on Seven was just inappropriate timing. Was Seven wrong? I don’t know - road not taken - and Seven is going to torture herself endlessly over this anyway. Him sanctimoniously going “that’s not StarFleet” may well be the push to resign her commission at the end of the season.

Seven’s “I’m facing the consequences” snark back to Shaw. She would have sacrificed herself. I think she would have done it anyway but him putting the boot in on the guilt trip only made her need to make it right. Begging Vadic to kill her. Moving to fight to try and force that. All because I think Seven followed Janeway’s teachings who I think said “we don’t trade lives” I swear I remember that. It’s ok to sacrifice your own but not others. Besides it was a split second. A “do I kill Captain Asshat and have a legit reason? Shit I hate him, they’ll think I did it on purpose. Oh fuck I have lost my window as the turbo lift takes less than 17 seconds” I mean we had that conversation a few episodes ago. About how long it took to get to SickBay. It’s not a long time.

Speaking of the whole guilt thing. I am sick to death of only the bridge crew/officer lives mattering. This is how Star Trek got the whole “redshirt” cliche in the first place. It was pretty damn dark showing the crew running scared through the halls, getting locked in with the pursuing killers, and massacred. But then it was like those lives, and those losses, didn’t make an impact. It was all about the “executing the bridge every 10 minutes” and all I kept thinking was “what about all the other poor sods who have been killed already?” I mean they really tried to hammer it home. One guy had a knife in their neck pinning them to the wall. It was pretty gruesome. But then no emotional payoff. That is what is needed. The visuals aren’t enough. All flash and no substance.

I’m really not vibing with the whole ‘chosen one’ thing they have going on with Jack Crusher. Not going to lie my first fanfics were rife with OC’s. They sort of drove the plot. This reeks of the same thing. Admittedly I was 11 at the time. I think I had learned between by the time I was 14 or so. How old is Matalas? Anyway Jack Crusher is the fanfic OC. The special one, and all the characters we know and love are dancing around him and I really don’t give a damn. What reason have they given for us to care? That he was semi-cool for 5 minutes as a Han Solo rip-off? The narrative is on one hand trying to push that nostalgia/the old characters are all that matter, and on the other make Jack Crusher the second coming since Merlin. Erm no.

I suppose it could be argued that Soji filled the same function in season 1 but I would argue it was different because of how the narrative placed it. Soji filled a role and the characters moved to save her, to take her home etc. but the focus of the narrative was on the federation itself, on ideology. It was on Picard getting his purpose back, on making a new life for himself. There was the found family aspect of the forging of the new crew. Yeah you could say Soji ‘drove the plot’ but the narrative focus wasn’t on Soji. Not how it is with Jack Crusher.

Season 3 has been so disparate and piecemeal. There doesn’t feel like there has been any character journeys for those characters we know and love. It’s like soundbite to nostalgia scene, shiny special effect mixed with a plot that fails to make sense.

I did like that Deanna got to use her abilities. About time she actually got to do something. But I don’t think opening the door that evil lurks behind is a good idea. I mean won’t that let it out? Are they ever going to explain how this door thing/telepathy exists in a human like Jack? Because he is special for plot is not a reason I accept.

And then Data /sigh. That was a cool sequence I admit with the memories and Brent Spiner acted the hell out of it. But I don’t know. So much focus on Data. Although as I said to someone, it’s not actually lack of screentime that’s the issue, it’s what they are doing with it. Showing Jack Crusher cry for the 20th time is a waste of film. The plot itself is also very… this feels like a feature film that has been stretched to 10 hours. It doesn’t have the feeling of the character moments that makes a TV Show. The focus is on the ‘big stuff’ but that’s not what I watch TV for. If I want the big set pieces I would watch a movie.

Oh and one last thing (though I have probably forgotten things) I am not immune to visuals. Seeing them all around the briefing room table again sure was something. For me it wasn’t worth screwing over pretty much every character (and especially ones not in that room) but it was very nostalgic.

[keikigoodbetter]

....howdy, everyone! Looooong time no see 😅😅

I’m sitting in my room right now, waiting as a friend drives over to spend the last few hours of 2022 with me, and I thought I’d try to put down a few of my thoughts as I reflect on the year. It’s been a while since I checked in for real with y’all and for that I am very sorry. (fwiw I dropped contact with quite a few folks irl too, so it wasn’t just you lol)

2022 repeatedly hit my blindside and hit it HARD. I spent a lot of the year in reaction-mode as surprises both good and bad kept coming at me fast; this year had some of the worst lows of my life, but also some of the best highs. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

At the risk of being too personal, here’s an overview of some of My Notable 2022 Moments:

Start the year about 8 months into a really good headspace, to the point where my psychiatrist agrees that if I’m still A-ok by springtime then I can likely step off my antidepressants!!

Help move my Grandma out of her home and into a memory care facility

Have surgery

May 7: Go dancing with friends I haven’t seen in years, to celebrate being alive and together and that I’ve finally finished my degree

May 10: Find out my parents have filed for divorce and will be selling my childhood home, that our family build by hand, by the end of the summer

May 14: GRADUATE COLLEGE!

May 15: One of my best friends goes in for surgery because her pain-management implant is no longer functional. There are complications and she needs 3 more surgeries before the month is over

Return to martial arts after years away

Help babysit the very sweet toddler-age child of someone I went to gradeschool with. (Have an existential breakdown about how old I suddenly am and how unlikely it is at this point that I’ll get to be a mom)

All summer: help clear out my Grandma’s things from her house, move my dad’s things to his new house, move the rest of our family’s things to my mom’s new house, and do repairs and cleaning at our old house

Have to start reminding myself again to get out of bed and eat and not walk into traffic

A best friend flies in from out-of-state to go with me to a disco night

See the Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup Championship Parade!

Make a great costume and go to the Renaissance Festival in drag

Officially move out of our house; August and September are time soup

A friend from college that I’ve dearly missed moves back to Colorado

SEE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LIVE

My brother gets injured

Our house sells

TWO of my job applications that I was really excited for pan out and I’m asked to interview for both of them. The one I like better calls and offers me the position within 3 days! I’m going to start part-time at the local library in January!!! 😭😆

I spend an amazing afternoon with a friend on a maybe-a-date... 👀

I see many friends and family and have a wonderful holiday season

  ....Realize I might feel ok again soon

 (and, as usual, I also saw a lot of great concerts this year!)

....WHEW. Like I said, it was A Lot All The Time. Sorry to overshare 😅  but I just - idk - I feel like I need to write it down somewhere so there’s a record of all the shit that I experienced in the last 12 months. And I feel like some of you are my legit friends and might care about some of these developments? lol idk 😅 sorry if that’s presumptuous.

Anyways, all this to say that I know I’m not particularly an outlier and that most people have crazy things happen all the time. That’s life! But I hope that if you had a rough year (like me), that things turn around for you soon (also like me?). There is always the promise of something wonderful happening just as much as there is the risk of something terrible; and I think growing up is learning to balance the threat of those two extremes without falling down for too long when a new circumstance hits you.

I grew so much in the last year and for the first time in a long time I’m actually excited about what the future might look like for me! 2023 will be hard and full of new challenges, but I think I’ll be ok. And I think you all will be, too.

💖💖💖

All of my love, forever and ever,

C.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 64 ARYA X (pages 800-816)

Arya discovers there's about to be yet another change in Harrenhal management, and decides to get herself and her boys out of dodge.

-

The cook was spared (some said because he made the weasel soup), but stocks where hammered together for pretty Pia and the other women who'd shared their favors with Lannister soldiers, Stripped and shaved, they were left in the middle ward beside the bear pit, free for the use of any man who wanted them.

I've changed my mind on violence. All these men deserve death. This isn't justice, it's an excuse to rape women and call their hands clean.

If it were about justice, the women would have been killed clean like the men.

... and now there's another person threatening to object-rape Arya. GRRM, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

Arya punched his arm. "It was just hot broth. You hated Ser Amory too." "I hate this lot worse. Ser Amory was fighting for his lord, but the Mummeers are sellswords and turncloaks. Half of them can't even speak the Common Tongue. Septon Utt likes little boys, Qyburn does black magic, and your friend Biter eats people." The worst thing was, she couldn't even say he was wrong.

Utt's perversion is not better. He needs to die.

wait. Qyburn? the hell are you doing here? other than foul magicks.

I legit hate that Roose's command is worse than Tywin's. I mean, it's not surprising, I might strongly dislike Lannisters, and Tywin, but he was just ornery, Roose is a grade-A whack-job. I wish that this wasn't a lesson Arya had to learn like this, that sometimes a person you personally hate is the better man.

(Mind you, when it comes to "who's a better man" comparing Roose and Tywin is like comparing a dry poop and a wet one. Not exactly good examples.)

She still had the stupid coin he'd given her, a piece of iron no larger than a penny -

Hang on. Penny? Do they have pennies in Westeros? brb googling. Dragon, Moon, Stag, Star, Groat, Halfgroat, Penny, Halfpenny. So yep, apparently they do. ... sorry, almost tripped down a research spiral re: the word origin and etymology of 'penny.' I need to not think about it. Actually, for my sanity, unless someone can provide me with a Watsonian explanation, I'm just going to pretend there's some connection with the coins of Pentos, and that the word is slang.

"The castle is so large that it needs an army to hold it, and once surrounded we cannot feed and army. Nor can we hope to lay in sufficient supplies. The country is ash, the villages given over to wolves, the harvest burnt or stolen. Autumn is on us, yet there is no food in store and none being planted. We live on forage, and if the Lannisters deny the to us, we will be down to rats and shoe leather in a moon's turn."

I'll bet the smallfolk aren't fairing any better. Not that this lot would care about them.

...yes, good, continue to talk in front of Arya, let her know all your secre- oh shit, I forgot she didn't know about fake Bran and Rickon yet.

If Winterfell is truly gone, is this my home now? Am I still Arya, or only Nan the serving girl, for forever and forever and forever?

:( Poor Arya, she's not just facing the loss of her family, but her identity. Up til now, she's been changing identities like a weather appropriate jacket, but she's always had that chance, the goal, of going back to Arya of Winterfell, now even that might be gone with her brothers and her home.

She chewed on her lip, hoping. If I had wings I could fly back to Winterfell and see for myself.

I feel like I should add "If I had wings" or general wishing for wings to my drinking game, I swear I've seen it several times by various Stark siblings.

He hates me too, or else he's scared of me,

Arya is not enjoying the consequences of her actions. She might be enjoying them more if the 'victors' weren't complete garbage, to be fair.

Roose: I am a fair man who will forgive small slights

*looks at the shit his men are allowed to get away with. looks at the rumours surrounding House Bolton. looks at the shit he personally does.* Are you though? Do you though?

Press F to doubt.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffff

"Tell me what to do, you gods," she prayed. For a long moment there was no sound but the wind and the water and the creak of leaf and limb. And then, far far off, beyond the godswood and the haunted towers and the immense stone walls of Harrenhal, from somewhere out in the world, came the long lonely howl of a wolf. Gooseprickles rose on Arya's skin, and for an instant she felt dizzy. Then, so faintly, it seemed as if she heard her father's voice. "When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," he said. "But there is no pack," she whispered to the weirwood. Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone north to the Wall. "I'm not even me now, I'm Nan."

The pack survives = 🥛 (was it on the list? well it is now, because I love this line.)

also, it's interesting in a "is it a coincidence GRRM?" kind of way, that the four she lists are the four who survive the up coming turning of the tables.

But also this chapter is going hard with Arya and her shaken sense of self and identity, not just who she is as Arya, but also a little with the "who are the good guys really?" (Spoiler, there aren't any in war, just people who will be less awful if they're in charge, and people who will be less awful to people they see as people if they're in charge. *le shock* oh wow, it's almost like ASOIAF is secretly anti-war! who could have foreseen this? not D&D that's for sure! sorry, I'm putting the meanness away now.)

For a moment, she did not think he understood, but then he slid out from under the blankets. Naked, he padded across the room, shrugged into a loose roughspun tunic and climbed down from the loft after her.

roughspun = 🥛 Gendry sleeps in the buff: confirmed 😳

... pft, Arya getting the horses like, the only thing missing from this ruse is a clipboard of +20 "I'm totally supposed to be here doing this"

the 'con' in 'conartist' is short for 'confidence'~

His throat, it must be his throat, but he's too tall, I'll never reach it. ... "Silver you say?" He did not believe her, but he wanted to; silver was silver after all. "Give it over then." Her fingers dug down beneath her tunic and came out clutching the coin Jaqen had given her. In the dark the iron could pass for tarnished silver. She held it out... and let it slip through her fingers. Cursing her softly, the man went to a knee to grope for the coin in the dirt, and there was his neck right in front of her. ... "Valar morghulis," she whispered as he died.

YES!

good girl! clever! ... *smacks D&D with the steel chair for the hell of it* actually, hang on...

D&D suck at their job = 🥛

I've been skipping drinks.

No but, let's just talk about this for a second. Arya understood she was in danger, that her time of relative safety was over, and put together a plan to get not just her, but her two companions out, despite the fact they were the reason she was stuck there in the first place. She thought about exit strategy, transport, and supplies, (plus extra layers of clothing,) and then this fabulous piece of improve? Delightful! It really showcases her adaptability and ability to think under pressure.

In the show this escape was mastered by Jaqen start to finish, but D&D absolutely wanted to push and Arya "not like other girls/action girl" Stark narrative, so why the hell would they cut this? why give it to Jaqen? Like I get that they changed the script and voided the Harrenhal take over but why remove Arya's contributions to the escape so completely? Why not at least "here' what I want to happen, make it happen and I'll unname you"????

Also, also: her first time using Valar morghulis as a murder punchline or whatever it is you call the quippy remarks or ominous quotes that are said to your murder victim.

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Things You Cannot Tell By Looking At Her; Hard Truths About My Chronically Ill Life

With an invisible illness like my fibromyalgia, it's a whole lot harder to live a somewhat normal life. Things than no one suspects take energy can wipe me out with little regard for plans, or even my body's own needs sometimes. Here's some things you'll never suspect about how my condition affects my daily life.

When I go out to eat with my guy, we often opt for drive through. It's draining for me to be around large amounts of people for long, plus... I tend to feel like people judge me for how little I eat compared to him. My pain levels tend to make me too tired to even eat "a full meal" in one sitting, to the point I've had fast food workers swear I'm anorexic. Nope, just too tired for both a small fry and 4 piece chicken nugget.

There are times I just cannot do the thing, either due to pain levels at 9000 or brain fog. Pushing me to do the thing doesn't work. Plus, embarrasses the hell out of me. I remember going dress shopping with my stepmother, being forced to model dress after ugly dress, on my feet for hours in bad shoes, and by the end of it I was hiding in a rack of dresses and screaming for someone to just take me home, I don't even want to go to this stupid event anyway, the salepeople thought I was a freak, and one called my stepmother a monster. Surprised no one thought to arrest my stepmother for domestic abuse she treated me so awfully.

I can be having the worst flare ever, but if I'm forced out into the world while it's happening, unless I'm legit past my limits, you'll never know. I'm not the pajamas in public type, if I'm in public I'm in a dress, hair combed, face clean. While pajamas in public are fine, it's just not my jam. Truthfully, the dresses tend to be more comfortable for me anyway. Less waist pressure from the waistband.

I have a set(ish) amount of time I have before I just get too damn tired to be out in public, usually 3 hours. So, if said task (shopping) cannot be completed by that time in one trip... it gets postponed until I can focus on that one side mission. Or I shop online.

There is nothing more disheartening than making plans, feeling well enough to do the thing, and... the person I am doing the thing with just bails for no reason. Dude, bad enough my defective meatsuit is unreliable, what's your deal? At least explain why!

Explaining my condition and the way I have to adapt to it multiple times is more exhausting than to have the damn thing in the first place. The condition itself can be hell, if you don't believe me the first time I'm not explaining it again and again.

I may look like I'm not paying attention, but due to trauma and ptsd from it, I am never fully unaware of my surroundings. This is both impressive to some, but annoying to me. I'm still so amped from my shit parents it takes me hours to relax enough to fall asleep. And... the least little thing WILL wake me up.

I may not look tired, but I am. All. The. Time. I never fully recover. I've tried all manner of things to correct it, no results.

There are foods I cannot eat. It's not a true allergy, usually. Dairy and some starches don't like me back, I despise tomatoes raw but like tomato sauce, and macadamia nuts give me hives. So, I have to be a little more careful when eating out. Servers who do not take food allergies or sensitivities seriously get me angry. Sure, my issues aren't lethal, but they might kill though negligence or indifference.

I'm not faking being sick, if anything I should win an award for faking wellness.

[shinystars-stuff]

Hello everyone. It has been 9 months.

I apologize for no longer posting but my mood for Tumblr came to a downhill and so I just stopped posting. I moved on to Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, Pinterest, and Discord.

Well… let’s just say… I’m doing a shit ton better on those platforms.

I came back today and only today to update you guys on how much my life has changed.

So nine months ago… that was before I graduated, which would mean that would be February. Jesus, this is about to be long.

So February 28th of this year, I ended a one-year relationship with a boy only to get with someone else. Now, keep in mind that both of these relationships were online. When I got with the new boy, my behavior and actions started to change. We tended to fight a lot and I made him upset quite a lot just as he made me upset. Well, July 18th, he had enough of my lying and my behavior that he broke up with me. Oh yeah, I skipped something important. I graduated on May 28th! 👩‍🎓👩‍🎓

I was pretty upset over the breakup and I stayed single for a while until drama happened and I got with somebody else. I realized how stupid I was and I called off the relationship. My family situation has worsened. A few months ago, my brother officially came back to live with us after his girlfriend cheated on him. He’s been a total pain in the ass, btw.

Me and my brother hardly get along, but the good news is that we are semi-bonding now these days. My mom’s leg situation has worsened for she can hardly stand up now these days. My uncle… he got a rare disease and might not be making it for much longer, plus I’ve lost a lot of family members as of late. I luckily have my Switch to keep me distracted and well organized.

Well- after I graduated high school, I found out that I have social anxiety. I was placed on an anti-depressant pill and bumped up more on my ADHD medication. My parents have been nagging at me to get a job, but with the shit I see happening in life today, plus the things I hear from my family, why would I even want to work in a society like this?! Also, my whole family thinks they have the right to say that I should get a job when I take the fucking trash out, I get shit like drinks and stuff for them, I bring in all the god damn groceries, I check on them everyday. I do the shit willingly and never get asked to be fucking paid!

Let’s uh- change the topic for now. So- well- I’m still making videos and stuff. However, my original TikTok got banned over a dispute with a best friend and uh- I lost three friends by them ghosting me. My videos have actually really improved. In fact, I have them right here.

Well, I only have this one, but this is my biggest and longest working one. This one took me three hours. I mostly make edits on TikTok but on Discord, I have a little roleplay server :3

My Twitter and YouTube, plus Twitter stays quiet most of the time because usually I’ll just scroll and save videos and stuff on the platforms.

My proudest moment and my best moment of this year is this photo right above this. If you don’t know who that is, that is me and a VO actor known as Bob Carter. Bob Carter is in many animes, but when I looked at the top of his poster, my world changed. As you know, I am a huge Fullmetal Alchemist fan and the character he played was Izumi’s husband, Sig Curtis.

I was legit amazed and he was absolutely friendly. I asked him for a hug and he gladly accepted it because I told him I had watched the anime a million times. I really wanted to show him an FMA edit I made, but I was too excited to show him. I even got to meet the singer for Sailor Moon, only to look later and find out that Bob photobombed it XD

So yeah, even though I’ve gone through a lot of shit this year, I’ve had a pretty good year. Anyways, I think I’m going to go ahead and finish off the post here.

Thank you guys for supporting me on Tumblr. If you wish to add me on Discord or anything, my Tumblr ask-box and messages are still open, so feel free to. I love you guys. Thank you for giving me a home.

[zumpietoo]

Oooppppsss!!! Snortee opens by pretending a nerve has not been hit....

Errmmmm......actually, there was quite a bit of interaction during the mennyyyy times it turns out SH were on the outs, noooo??? Plus, again, remember how the BB endlessly insisted Cari were split when she visited her family, etc? Once again, you don't get to have it both ways....

To say nothing of, LBR, here.....by both ways I mean "Cole says "hi" to a fan = he's cheating they split/Cabana Pee never do stuff unless for cameras, are openly now doing separate things in separate places = epic twu wuv 4EVAH!!!

(and your track record on this shit real and pretend is hella weak, Snortster....)

Also.....it's SUNDAY???? Did Snortee just reveal she isn't merely not in the USA, she's in either east Asia or NZ?? And even THEN, it's still morning....(or you know, she's so wasted she doesn't know what day it is....)

And has been home all week, moping about a pimple/pimping herself for swag....

However, actually, Snortee, yes....it's long been abundantly clear this "healthy, loving relationship" is at least partially based on product promotion/$$$/pap walking/power coupling/pee arr.....that's actually quite obvious.

Tho I don't think they've fully split (or if yes, will, at least for a good while be back and forth, maybeee), just in a huge fight/he's avoiding her Debbie Downer ass, cuz she's also clearly in a big asses depressive episode...

Which, BTW, per y'all makes him a total douchecanoe....in fact, seriously? His sudden public faux chumminess could also indicate he's trolling....

But yeah, we've already seen how off again/on again, they are....

From the same person who last ACTUAL Sunday was legit outraged that Cole sang karaoke while Ari was visiting her fam/working in Montreal, insisted it proved they broke up, etc....

And yeah, but.....seems like PP was waaayyyyy too busy moping around the house over her period/pimple.

Plus isn't it weird how Cole/Cari are spotted out together all the fucking time....but somehow CabanaPee never, everrr are, unless the paps are called?

Hey....I get it's, apparently, Regency England all the fuck over again, and one must have a fine/fancee ball to announce your engagement, after the bans of your wedding are sung in church on Sunday AND I'm not "old $$$" (actually, once again, my mom WAS a debutante, etc), buuuuttt.....peeps don't always have big fancee receptions for engagements.

And even if they do? They also might have any number of smaller parties for it all, as well.....

Simple fact is, it appears SweatBoi's unfortunate looking sister/future brother-in-law did have some sort of social event AND CB did go to Six Flags (which Peepster loooovvesss) without her AND his bestie/roomie/maybeee sidepiece-seekrit luvr DID have a bday party....and PP was at none of the above, instead preferring to mope around at home.....

I will agree with Snortee about the staying friends/being friends post break up. Which is why Peepster currently isn't attending any of these SweatBoi galas....and, at best? CB seems to be trolling her ass.

(tho I suspect they'll reconcile for the umpteenth time when there is a pap camera)

Because she controls them by doling out small favors/$$$ and they like the reflected fame (despite it and she never doing dick for their careers).

Also, they're literally her only friends....and she and Sidepiece Austyn have also "broken up" mennyyy times.

Errmm.....so she can pee arr/power couple/"win" the breakup with COLE still and him? Yeah, nobody GAF about him otherwise...

Ummm....yeah, it is. They post each other all over the fucking place for clicks/when paps are around or have been called. What they don't actually do? Is spend real time together NOT for a camera. It's pee arr combined.

And yes, they do go through periods of no interaction, it's called on again/off again. So, actually? The narrative fits perfectly.

Fail, Snorts....

Ummm.....for nearly a year, SlaveTay claimed to really like Cole, post break up. She also made it verrryyyy clear when she was around him, even tho it's abundantly clear Cole did NOT like her.

Anddd.....given how fucking weird PP was after Cole dumped her (including staging a fucking anniversary photo shoot with somebody who looked like Cole/dressed like him) AND was only everrrr with SweatBoi so he'd cosplay Cole? Oh yeah, this is child's play.

But, again, on again/off again? Oh yeah....

Except they weren't "hanging out a few days later"----that's the entire thing. PP's spent the entire week moping. Cabana Boi's been out partying with everybody not PP....as I think of it, doesn't that make him a cheater?????

See above. They're not rich (soringry, BB) and all their friends are even poorer. Also, again, entirely possible to have multiple parties.....(some couples have no engagement parties, BTW), etc....

Again, still stands, seemingly, SweatBoi's out partying every second, PP can't leave the house to buy zit cream

[lazyblueghost]

Ok so interesting event that happened yesterday.

So I had been awake all night ereyesterday (I have a really bad sleeping schedule) and I had wanted to play the summer event in Genshin with mom, alas mom's computer had a large update that took almost all day to finish.

So I waited and eventually, I fell asleep on my books again (long story). I woke up a bit later, figuring that I should put my computer and desk away so I can lay down properly instead of sleeping on my books. So I do so, I lay down and I end up falling asleep again.

ONLY TO WAKE UP FROM MY ROOF CAVEING IN FROM A FUCKING RACCOON FALLING THROUGH IT.

So here I am, half awake from this sudden cave-in of the furry kind, with this fucking raccoon looking just as lost and confused from falling through the roof as I was. I panicked because I knew that while raccoons are cute and fluffy, they are not the best animal neighbors.

So I yell for mom to quickly close all of the doors after telling her a raccoon just fell through my roof. She comes back and we try and get the ball of chonk out of my room, and to be fair we did success without the little guy getting mad, but then he was stuck in the hallway.

Tbh idk what fully happened because mom had closed my door after the chonky trash nommer left but apparently he had somehow got on top of my dresser in the hallway and then fell and knocked a bunch of shit over, before running past the open front door, into the living room, and into her room.

So now we have a fluffy chonker causing chaos and mayhem in her room and we have no idea wtf to do. This all happened around 8:30ish at night btw.

So we try making noise, keeping the lights on, using vinegar to try and get it out of the room, we tried to use brooms and find him but we end up not finding him because this bitch just straight up disappeared. We have no idea if he is still in the house as I am writing this post, and trust me she looked all over that room.

So ok, we open the window, yeet open the screen, and then close the door so the fluffy menace can at least leave when we aren't trying to find it, that's the best we can do besides calling animal control which, we don't have money for.

So my stressed ass was getting tired again (my stress reaction is to fall asleep), but I felt legit gross and was stressing over the fact that I might have installation all over me (the hole is close to where my head was resting at) so I take a quick shower before I get to work cleaning my room of wet as hell installation. Listen, I know I needed to get my ass into gear and do some spring summer cleaning, but this was not how I wanted to do it Q_Q

Also yes, I wore a mask and gloves so worry not. It didn't help how gross it all was. Me, being scared for my health cuz that shit went everywhere, decided to sleep out in the living room with mom (who also had to sleep in the living room). Suffice it to say this was a very weird girls' night >_>

Me and mom had been up almost the whole night and only got any sleep around 3:30-4 A.M. and woke up around 8-9 a.m. so if this post seems disjointed that's why o(-<

Long story short a trash disaster broke through my roof mission impossible style, caused chaos, doesn't elaborate, then hoodini'ed into another dimension before we could find him, leaving me to clean up ceiling bits like a confused spouse after their partner came home slam assed drunk and just passed out on top of the fridge.

[julesclues]

hi boooo! You’re legit my favorite author on here! I love your writing so much 💕 was wondering if you could do one: outer banks JJ getting so drunk at a party and throwing up at the party and getting sick all over JB car going back to the chateau with all the pogues. And like reader (not Girlfriend yet) taking care of him please 🥺 thank you so much!!!! 😍😍😍 I know you’re busy so like take you’re time and if you don’t want to it’s fine too 💕💕

Drunken Confessions

Warnings: excessive and underage drinking, cursing

Pairing: jj maybank x reader

Word count: 2.48k

Summary: JJ drinks a littleee too much at a party, which makes the reader worried about him. So being the great person she is, she decides to take care of him.

a/n: thank you for the kind words in your request! It really means a lot! <3

3 things JJ Maybank loves most in this world: sex, surfing, and booze. Emphasis on the booze because once he started, it was almost impossible to stop him which, was currently the situation at the party you were all at.

It was a normal party, one mixed with tourons and pouges. But a normal party for JJ obviously meant drinking. You always worried about him when he would over do it like he is now. Though you were all used to the underage drinking, it was kind of hard to remember that it still is, technically, illegal.

The music was almost too loud. You could barely hear your friends as they each took turns telling stories about their most embarrassing moment. “Mine’s gotta be in 3rd grade when I was in the talent show for dancing and wound up twirling off stage,” Kie exclaimed, making all of you laugh. Pope went next and then John B and as you went around the circle, you realized JJ was no where to be found. You stood up in worry and searched the party for his unique clothing style and beautiful set of hair. “Where is he?” You ask, making John B tilt his head. “Who?” You roll your eyes and look at him. “Your best friend?” You ask with a laugh. Before John B could answer though, you all heard some yelling in the distance. Turning your head to the sound, your question was answered.

There was JJ. Standing on top of a table. Chugging beer after beer, almost as if he was putting on a show for the cheering audience under him. They were all applauding him as he downed the substance, some of it pouring down his chest, turning his dark blue tee into black. You groaned in annoyance as you and the other pouges ran up to him. You pushed through the crowd and made your way to the front, giving you the perfect view of JJ’s drunken state. You sigh and stick your hand out to him. “JJ!” You yell, but he still continued to pour the drinks down his throat. “Maybank! Hey! Let’s go!” You attempt again, but it’s no use. So, you climb up on the table with him, earning even more cheers from the people below. Maybe they thought you were going to join him.

He finally turns to you and his eyes light up. “Y/n!” He exclaims happily. As much as you loved JJ, in this moment, you were pretty upset. All you wanted was for him to just take care of himself so he wouldn’t do stupid shit like this. “Let’s go J,” you whisper only loud enough for him to hear. You reach out to him but he dodges your touch. “No!” He yells, scanning the people below. “Please J. Come on. Please let’s go home,” you plead, making JJ turn toward you. This time, his eyes were soft and warm, almost as if he had turned sober for a quick moment. “Ugh, fine,” he groans, but secretly doesn’t mind the feeling of your finger tips guiding him off the table and back to the pouges. You ignored the boo’s you heard from the others, but they soon forgot about it. To you, they weren’t worth JJ’s time.

“He’s shit faced,” you state to the other pouges, as JJ leans further into your side. Without you, he might have fallen over. “What’s new?” Pope laughs, making you roll your eyes. You knew that this was normal for JJ and that the pouges took it as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it should’ve been normalized. You always worried about JJ and the fact that the other pouges didn’t, made you upset.

You sigh as you sway awkwardly with JJ, thinking about what to do. “Can we just take him back to John B’s? He can’t be drinking anymore guys,” you plead, as John B nods and grabs his keys to the van. “Let’s go then.” You all start walking to the van, you and JJ a little bit behind due to his wonky walking. “You’re cute,” he laughs in his drunken state, making you smile a bit. JJ flirting with you both sober and drunk wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it never failed to make you blush like a middle schooler. “You too J,” you admit, and he chuckles without saying another word.

You make it to the van where Kie holds the door open for you two to hop into the back. You shove JJ in first, having him sit near the window while you sit in the middle and Kie sits next to you guys. John B starts the van and starts driving, which makes JJ hold his stomach. You’re the only one who notices it. “You okay JJ?” You ask him, but all he does it roll down the window. “I’m gonna throw up,” he mumbles, making your eyes go wide. “Oh no JJ, not in the van please,” John B begs. JJ doesn’t say anything as he sticks his head out the window and starts violently throwing up. All of you groan and laugh, as you rub JJ’s back to soothe him. You repeat the phrases “it’s okay” and “you’re okay” like a mantra.

You felt something on your thigh and looked down to see JJ’s hand. After pulling his head back out the window, he plops down on the soft seat under him and looks at you with a sloppy smile while squeezing your thigh in reassurance. “I’m good,” he laughs, looking around the van. “Good cause if you ever throw up in my van, I’ll kill you,” John B chuckles, making everyone else laugh along.

Finally making it back to John B’s, with JJ getting sick almost every 5 minutes, you limp with him by your side as the pouges rush to get the door open for you two. “Come on,” you grunt, finding it a bit difficult to hold JJ up by yourself. He keeps giggling and laughing while slurring his words. “Get him cleaned up in the bathroom y/n,” Pope says, and you nod. “We’ll get him water and some tylenol but until then, just make sure he doesn’t throw up all over my house,” John B exclaims, making you chuckle and adjust yourself against JJ. “Sure thing John.”

You walk into the bathroom with JJ and plop him down on the toilet seat. He sways back and forth, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Jesus J, your clothes are so dirty,” you whisper with a sigh. “Would you like me to strip then, princess?” You roll your eyes but can’t help but grin at his flirty words. “Shut it Maybank. Let’s just get you cleaned u-“

Your words were interrupted by JJ rushing to get off the toilet seat so he could open it. He instantly started throwing up, gripping the sides of the toilet until his knuckles turned white. You instantly got on your knees and sat behind him, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. “Shit JJ..” you say sympathetically. “I fucking hate when you do this shit.” After a minute or so of throwing up, he sits down on the floor and wipes him mouth. “Come here,” you mumble, coming closer to him with a napkin, but he swats your hand away. “JJ..” you warn. “Y/n just get out of here, okay? I don’t need you taking care of me.” You blink in surprise of his words and how quickly he can switch up. “Instead of being petty JJ, how about you be grateful that someone cares about you!” He scoffs and looks away. “Whatever,” he hiccups. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’re my girlfriend.” 

You freeze for a minute, trying to pretend like his words didn’t hurt you as much as they did. “You’re an asshole sometimes JJ. Girlfriend or not, I care about you. So stop denying my help and just shut up! God, I don’t even know why I’m fighting with you. You’re obviously so drunk right now. You don’t mean anything you’re saying.” You get up and stick your hand out for him. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He looks at your hand and then up at you. You shoot him a smile and he could swear, drunk or not, that smile would be the death of him one day. 

He hesitantly takes your hand, and you pull him up, having him stumble a bit before regaining his balance. You lead him to his bedroom and plop him down on his bed. You kneel down to take off his shoes for him, but he stops you. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, looking down to the ground. “For what?” You ask him, sitting down next to him. He feels the bed dip down a bit, which makes him sway a little. “For what I said in the bathroom,” he mumbles. You shake your head and chuckle. “JJ, you’re just drunk. I know you don’t mean any of it.” You were always so patient and understanding when it came to JJ. It was one of the many things he loved about you. That’s what made you so different from the other pouges. 

“Y/n?” He whispers. “Hm?” You ask in the same volume that he had used. “I like you a lot.” You smile and grip his shoulder. “I like you a lot too, JJ.” He shakes his head and lays down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “No Y/n,” he sighs, while closing his eyes. “I don’t think you understand. I like you a lot.” You tilt your head for a second in confusion, but instantly look at him wide eyed when you get what he meant. “Wha- JJ? Are you serious?” But he doesn't respond. All you heard from him was his silent snores. You get up from his bed and look down at him, to see he was fast asleep. Your breathing starts to pick up as you pace around the room silently. “Oh my god, oh my god. He didn’t mean that, right? He’s just drunk.. right? My god Y/n, who are you even asking? You’re alone. Right.. okay.” You stop pacing and grab a blanket that’s folded on JJ’s bed and cover him, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the forehead. “You better have meant what you said JJ, or I’ll kill you.” 

You leave a letter for him and go on your way, hoping he calls you in the morning or is not too sick to remember what he meant. 

Dear JJ, 

It’s your favorite person :) You were pretty drunk last night so the pouges left you some water and medicine while I took care of you. When you wake up, give me a call, okay? We kinda need to talk. And please JJ, try not to get so drunk anymore. You worry me when you do. I care about you. Girlfriend or not. 

Love, Y/n <3

-----

JJ wakes up the next morning with a groan and a pounding headache. He felt like he got hit by a truck. He never drinks this much and he knew it, but for some reason last night was different. He was trying to forget. And apparently it worked because he forgot what he was trying to forget. Bingo. He blinks a couple of times to get his vision from blurry to clear before standing up and stretching. He  looks down at his nightstand and finds a folded piece of paper and instantly recognizes your handwriting. 

He opens the letter and reads it. His eyes go wide when he reads “girlfriend or not.” He starts to wonder what he could’ve possibly said to you last night for you to include that in the letter, but his memory is failing him. Nevertheless, he finds his phone and quickly finds your contact, hesitantly clicking “call.” 

You answer after a couple of rings with a chipper yet out of breath ‘hello.’ 

“Hey Y/n..” he says softly, hearing your pants. “Are you okay?” he asks with a hint of concern in his voice. “Yeah J, I-I’m good. Just surfing. Why don’t you join me? None of the other pouges are here, and I’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.” You didn’t sound mad or upset, which JJ took into consideration. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you upset. “Sure, yeah. I’m on my way.” 

-----

JJ meets you on the beach about 15 minutes after your phone call. “Hey J!” You say, running up to him with a smile. “How are you feeling?” You ask him, and he just rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m a little out of it but the strangest thing is that I don’t remember anything from last night.” Your face instantly drops and JJ is quick to recognize your disappointment. “Oh..” you sigh, biting the inside of your cheek and looking down. “What’s the matter? Did I say something last night? Y/n whatever I said, I didn’t mean it, okay?” You look back up at JJ with a bit of tears in your eyes. “You said you liked me,” you mumble, making JJ tilt his head. “Of course I like you,” he chuckles. You shake your head, realizing you were mimicking his actions from last night. “No JJ. You said you liked me.” His eyes go wide, immediately realizing what you meant. “Oh.. Y/n, I- I don’t-”

“Did you mean it J?”

“Y/N-”

“Just tell me JJ. Please. Don’t lie to me, okay?”

 JJ looks down for a moment, contemplating on whether or not he should tell the truth to you and potentially ruin the friendship, or lie to you, and ruin the friendship even further. He saw how hurt you look when he said he didn’t remember, so maybe, just maybe, there was a slight chance that you liked him back. 

“I like you Y/n. I do. More than a friend. I didn’t want to tell you while I was shitfaced and with you taking care of me. But I did, and I’m sorry. You deserved a better confession from me. I really do like you Y/n but if you don’t like me back then that’s okay. I ju- are you crying?!”

You wipe the tears away as you chuckle from JJ’s concerned face from you crying. “Of course I am, you idiot!” You exclaim, walking closer to him. “JJ I like you too. So much. I was really hoping you were telling the truth because I don’t think I could watch you have one night stands anymore,” you laugh, and so does he. “So does this mean..” his voice trails off but you knew what he meant. You nod with a smile and he returns it, blinking slowly. 

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Please do.”