illneeverbethatgirlagain-blog

[eff-plays]

Honestly the fact that Astarion is supposed to be foppish and effeminate is really tickling me. If you guys saw what kind of male fancy ladies I want to fuck, you'd die.

[asterias-corner]

in celebration of breath of the wild coming out 7 years ago, here are some of my fav songs from the game! Videos are linked from youtube! (Blue text are the ones i think you should listen too first!)

my fav is the trailer theme! botw trailer theme

talus battle

Kass’s theme

Rito village theme (night)

Zoras Domain (day)

Urbosa’s theme

Akkala ancient tech lab

Tarrey town -married

Lon Lon ranch

Sheikah tower

Malanyas theme

Purified dragon

Dark beast ganon theme

Get master sword

Minigame -race

Links memories

Remember

Credits

this game had brought me into the game series, and while yes it was the most common one most found the series through, i was still young, and i loved the characters and open world, i loved exploring, and i loved getting to do that in a game with fantasy aspects, like elves, fish people, rock people, bird people?! Literally all the best parts of a fantasy world, and i loved every second i got to play it! And now, 7 years later, i had sat down to finish an old file, and restarted once I’d beaten it. Then I’d gone on to watch gameplays of a lot of different games, so now i have a shelf, wardrobe, hobby, and a general life revolved around a silly lil game series jsjsjs

In conclusion, I’m so glad this game exists, and I’m glad it got many people- (including myself) into the game franchise! The music is definitely the cherry on top of this whole game, all of it is perfect and beautifully made <3

[astrxealis]

bg3 is too fun. too fun.

[prokopetz]

Video games sometimes give characters alternative cold-weather outfits for the obligatory ice physics bits as a nod to verisimilitude, but you know what I'd like to see and never do? Rain gear. Practically every game with weather effects has an area where it's always raining buckets – show me what your shouty elf twink's raincoat looks like.

[science-lings]

okay this has been going through my mind for days and I have to get my thoughts out before I explode

Disclaimer, this is not talking about a specific artist/person and would never condone or participate in anon hate or online bullying for any reason but especially this one. 

I get why people are mad about Link being portrayed as this buff, hypermasculine, tall guy. I am too (again don’t fucking attack people over it though) and it seems like such an infuriating way to change the character just to fit into some ideal of hypermasculine attractiveness or to make a ship fall into a more hetero lense by making him a decent foot taller than whatever girl he’s being paired with. 

The world of video games and action movies and every form of media ever is extremely saturated with male characters that are swole and manly and whatever other descriptors people are trying to push onto Link that don’t fit into his actual character. There are so many characters out there that already fit this male standard and having a clearly androgynous elf guy was like a breath of fresh air. 

Link was literally designed to be a character whose lines on gender were blurred, ‘a girl with a masculine touch or a guy with a feminine touch’ so that anyone could project themselves onto him. His physical design in botw/totk was specifically made to be feminine enough to wear a certain outfit to pass as a woman (which includes a nearly mandatory cutscene where he puts on the clothes and blushes after being called pretty, like you have to be blind to think that its an experience that he doesn’t like at all) and in totk there are a bunch of outfits made for Link that are blatantly gnc, ones that are practically dresses, include nail polish and lipstick, you can even dye his hair bright and vivid colors and that’s half way to giving him new pronouns. The whole reason Linkle isn’t included in more mainline loz games was because her existence would force Link into a gender dichotomy, if there's a clearly female version of the main hero, that means the main hero has to be a man, and they would rather abandon a potential reoccurring character than make Link conform to a gender binary. 

So pardon me when it feels disingenuous and even malicious for him to be morphed into these clear masculine ideals, where he towers over any female romantic partner (even when in canon he is regularly depicted as noticeably shorter than her) or even in m/m fanworks he’s really beefed up, perhaps to make the scene feel more gay or something. 

Perhaps it’s because his more twink-y/ femboy body type is so heavily sexualized (though obviously when people are sculping abs on him it’s totally not because they’re horny about it) and that’s an issue in itself that bothers me. But it’s just so tiring to see one of the very few popular main characters who is short and feminine and androgynous be molded into just another bland muscle-headed action hero over and over and over again. 

I’m not mad at the creators for portraying him differently than how I like him portrayed, I’m mad because we really do get so few characters like him in good popular media, and to be honest, I really like him the way that he is. I love that he’s tiny and has long hair and has the option to dress any way the player likes. It seems a little distasteful to make him taller than a female love interest just because that’s how straight couples have to be, there’s just never been a real straight couple where the guy is shorter than the girl, that’s just Impossible! (/s) 

[driderwife]

Ok so here’s extremely barebones info about my Tav cuz ppl are asking and I wanna ramble about dumb fan character stuff cuz it’s fun lol and I actually love this OC now, im probably gonna use him for regular DnD shit when im done with BG3. Sorry for being cringe but like. I’m free and im gonna play this game how I want.

His name is Valence and he’s a half drow storm sorcerer (He should have a drow name but I like hate trying to make them work im not crazy about drow names). I’ve only figured out like, the very basics of his backstory but he was raised in the underdark instead of being banished or killed for his high elf blood, because there’s magic inherent in his bloodline on his drow fathers side so he was deemed useful. I don’t know his early life yet but obviously he was Bullied and Oppressed because duh he’s a little male drow half elf freak.

What I have written so far is that later in his life as an adult he studied and worked under an elderly Matriarch who like whipped and paddled and spanked him. So he’s particularly scared of old women and just submits to women in general. for a lot of his in game choices if a woman is showing authority toward him I just like have him do whatever she says LOL. Hes like I sat my Gray ass down and LISTENED.

As for the romance stuff I have a soap opera going in my head where Valence is like completely enamored with Astarion bc Astarion took his virginity at the ripe age of Old Man & Valence is like easily manipulated by anyone talking him up bc his name is Mud in drow society and usually nobody likes him. also he’s a revenge driven half drow so he lets Astarion do the ascension plot & when that goes sour in their relationship shit Valence is like, do whatever you want to me be evil. Women beated me for fun im a wet napkin for you.

Also you shouldn’t feel bad for valence at all im playing him kinda evil and vindictive and letting him making nasty in game choices. Let the old traumatized twinks be toxic they need to fight it out.

But im also gonna romance Halsin as a poly thing i just haven’t thoroughly plotted that in my head bc i didn’t get very far in his arc yet it takes a WHILE.

Anyways im just having fun with making a truly pathetic dude. Also I love drow men theyre really the Kens of DND universe.

Anyways pls don’t be shy if u wanna tell me about your guys too I think it’s so fun.

[yael-art-den]

Oc ask time. Whats a random oc you got

Ooo, I think everyone already knows about the two Main Baras (Rowan. Wanderer) and the token twink (Mikh) so im gonna talk about a dude I dont post/draw much about lately but it's a very dear character!!!! This man

Yael is technically not my OC but Crystal's (my partner), but I count him as one of my own since he's quite literally designed to be my self-insert. Yael and Crystal are two of our most beloved OCs, and we use them EVERYWHERE, especially as online nicknames or in games where we can create our own sonas (Stardew, Sims, etc).

This is an old reference. He is now fatter and taller.

He shares my ASD, bisexuality and cottagecore love. Crystal (irl) is taller than me so part of the joke is that he's one of the biggest OCs we have; and Crystal (The elf) is around my irl size.

(This is a doodle I made for his ranchersona in Stardew!!!)

Lore-Wise, he's a Firbolg in Crystal's setting, called Midgard or Pangea depending on the timeline. In there, Firbolg are actually closer to ents and dryads than to giants; they have a lifespan similar to elves and are extremely tall. Yael used to be somewhat of an alchemist and nature researcher before getting into the most bloody turbo-divorce ever; lived homeless for a while with his daughter and is now somewhat leading a revolt against the city of Zobeck's townsguards and government. He is also currently dating crystal, a Shadowfey elf made out of glass(?) but this is not about her!!!!

(Anyways this is them, courtesy of royalsea's old patreon)

He's the kind of man i want to grow up as. Extremely hot role model. Has a pet goat and an abandoned greenhouse he chills in and is extremely strong and getting fatter by the day. Peak man tbh

(Chibis by dakimchi art!)

[missmacfire]

Astarion feels very much made to get people obsessed with him. Like they know what they where doing.

In their game they put a pale elf vampire twink with white hair. With that voice! Charmig and flirty! And Tragic past!

They absolutely knew he would be a Tumblr blorbo.

It really is not my fault I fell so hard for him. He was a perfect trap to get people like me into this game.

You just can't expect people to resist just him, we got no defense.

[vlovann]

Twilight of the Gods: Mythosyns

(Inaccuracy & Stupid Shenanigans Countdown)

S/6 - This is actually in the mythology or accurate to our pagan ideas of the gods

A/5 - Passable; As they should, not going above and beyond; Doesn’t break immersion

B/4 - Could’ve done better or more research; could’ve asked a pagan; will continue with caution

C/3 - True Neutral

D/2 - Don’t like it; okay?; Breaks immersion

F/1 - Absolutely not

Misc: no = automatic 0, comment out of number, silly goofy, +/- (.5), E/1.75, etc.

Calculated by 6 x Mythosyn count

Let’s Bning: Episode 1: “The Bride-Price”

1. Made by a non-pagan, perverted man: Ew/6 (0)

2. Accents: D (credit to voice actors for trying, it’s not their fault)

3. Horn Helmets: A (it’s cliche, but it’s a thing)

4. Sigrid’s “Armor”: F (it’s giving Harley Quinn?…in winter? F for it’s…got fur?)

5. Naked Valkyrie: D- (F for feminism and inaccuracy, B for boobs gay = D-; My girlfriend is calling the HR department AND OSHA on Odin for sending the Valkyries without armor; a woman would know better)

6. Sigrid is not a lesbian: PH- (F- for homoPHobic)

7. Sigrid looks like she should be Loki based on mythological description: D (Girlfriend is suspending judgement in case mysterious dead mom turns out to be Loki)

8. Rated X Carmen Sandiego Dress Up Game Art Style: F- - (Why? Semi-realistic anime would’ve been better)

9. Man does cunnilingus: B (Must be a trans man; no wonder the Anglo-saxons were worried the norsemen would steal their women)

10. Horn Tree: What?/6

11. Fjord Horfth: S (Real ancient horft, great success)

12. NO WEDDING KITTENS: U- - - (FOR UNACCEPTABLE!! NO WONDER YOU ANGERED THE GODS)

13. Sword gift: S (Freyr didn’t have his sword at Ragnarok because he traded it to marry a giantess; this was a thing)

14. Thor sounds like an Angry Annunciating American: F (for is that Chris Pratt?)

15. Red-headed Thor: A

16. Twink Baldr: A (He’s a pretty, Mama’s boy; I.E: he’s only invincible cuz his Mommy asked everyone not to hurt him)

17. Thor looks like a Nutcracker: AYY lmAO/6 (0)

18. Realized Sigrid is not a strongwoman: No (let your FMCs be buff)

19. Loki is British: No (0)

20. Loki actually shapeshifts: S

21. Loki is a small giant: A (for what exactly and he also looks like an elf)

22. Loki is a tall twink: S

23. Loki is chillin’ in daughter’s domain: S (for I swear to the gods, Hel better be his daughter in this show or I will riot)

24. Realized Thor is homophobic: A (for this is pretty much true in the myths; thinkin’ about Lokasenna, where his only comeback was, “Shut up, queer”)

Mythosyn count: 67 syns

Out of

6x24= 144

47%

Verdict: IS THAT CHRIS PRATT?!

[bagel-boy-sama]

Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Isn't A TumblrSexyMan™, He's Just A SexyMan™

I've seen a large number of people, most of whom are in the Astarion Disliker/"I don't get it" camp most who are not on this particular hell site, cite Astarion as Tumblr's latest sexyman. Today, I will be explaining why I do not believe that to be the case. That instead, as the title states, he's just a sexyman.

No real knowledge of the hell site is required, I'll explain things for the new people.

Setting The Definitions

First, definitions because this is now Intro to Writing and Rhetoric. A sexyman would be anyone, usually masc or a man, who is concidered sexy by a wide range of people. Fascinating.

A Tumblr Sexyman, on the other hand, is a thing - usually fictional entity - that is incredibly popular on Tumblr.com to the degree it escapes it's fandom sometimes, in the most extreme of cases, becoming far more popular than it's original fandom. It is characterized by a few major characteristics. Ranging from Twinkism* (be it the character or fan interpretation), generally unconventionally/perceived to be unconventionally attractive in a non physical sense (character traits that wouldn't otherwise be desirable, like absurd behavior or generally evilness), to impeccable drip (either in the original media/design, or done by fans in fanart).

*note: Twinkism (which I did just throw in on the spot this is entirely bullshit for my own amusement) is the phenomenon of skinny, young looking, pretty/feminine white boys who are within media. This is different from twinks, who are understood to be young and skinny - being pretty, popular, or white is not connected. All those who participate in Twinkism are Twinks, but not all Twinks participate in Twinkism.

Does Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Fit The Definition?

First rule: must be at least a twink. Is he?

No. Yes. Kinda. In a way. Many people would describe Astarion as someone who's gone through "Twink Death". No this is not because he's literally undead. Twink Death, in it's simplest form, is when a twink no longer looks young and/or feminine. Astarion has aged. His crows feet and laugh lines, while beautiful, do not make him look 18. For some this would disqualify him from being a Twink. So perhaps he has failed at the first step.

I, however, am not satisfied with that. Moving on, is Astarion - or would Astarion - actually be considered conventionally unattractive in any way that is disconnected from his appearance? I argue no. Vampires are considered very well, normal to lust after. They're right below succubus on the "This isn't considered weird to find attractive" scale. You aren't romancing The Emperor here. Outside of that he's well groomed, shown to be muscular in game (headcanon does often disagree and while I wish it was true we are working with facts for this specific discussion), and an elf. In personality, while not for everyone, he's the pretty standard fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish. We all know a fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish, and they get laid. So it can't be considered that bad. Probably.

I feel important to note here that I am aroace and have no idea what I'm talking about right now. This is an educated guess.

Astarion has lost now, two for two. He's barely a twink, even going off of his model he's more a twunk. He definitely doesn't fit the Twinkism phenomenon. He's not weird to find attractive, I assume, so what else is there? His drip? I'm sorry, but his base outfit is a bit well Goofy to say the least. Much fanart leaves him in this outfit or a simpler version because drawing ruffles is enough to make anyone want to willingly jump headfirst into the underdark, so he fails the drip test as well.

His final hurtle: is his popularity Tumblr™. In this context Tumblr™ is different from Tumblr. Tumblr™ is the fandom side, where a sexyman would flourish and find their own fandom. Importantly, this fandom needs to be very insular to the site. It's a *Tumblr* sexyman after all. So that begs the question, is Astarion highly liked by mostly or purely Tumblr people/those who have the vibes of a Tumblr user? No.

Astarion is well loved by many people of various vibes. He has affected (previously) straight men on Reddit. Few can escape him and his 10 charisma.

Conclusion

Astarion is just a sexyman. He's just a fictional character that many think is neat and attractive for a variety of reasons. He's the Ryan Reynolds of crpgs. He's some dude, who's generally considered attractive by a lot of people who you both would and wouldn't expect to find him attractive.

[youredreamingofroo]

OKAY!!! Thank you @slightly-ludic @kuroashims @groovetrys for the tag !!! Ya'll tagged me in this last week and unfortunately it was when I was lowkey depressed BUT NEVER FEAR!! I did see ya'lls posts and have finally gotten motivated enough to do this!

I'm kinda surprised I got Lawful Good, I honestly see myself as Chaotic Neutral or Lawful Evil 🤔🤔 But anywho! I did the picrew for me AND Roo (as always), I was REALLY cooking up ideas for what kind of adventurers we'd be so if you'd like to read all that, it's below the cut :)

I'm not tagging anyone cuz I'm 5 days late but- if you wanna do this, feel free to do it and tag me!

Quiz and Picrew

If I was an adventurer... I'd be some conglomerate of Arachnid/Reptile Alchemist, in the case of a game where you choose a character to start with (no character customization to start with), my character would have a frustratingly high Strength attribute only for me to not be able to do Melee damage (for example, if the average beginner Strength attribute was 5, my character would have a +8 Strength Attribute and a special passive along the lines of "Cannot do melee damage / Perform melee attacks." My main source of power/magic would be Water, who can also do Lingering Poison and Electric damage (While Poison and Electric are also an area of strength, I wouldn't do as much damage with either than I would if I were fighting with Water). If I had a familiar/companion, it'd be a black cat (reflecting my irl pet, a cat :))

My Adventurer name would probably be something like "Achar the Aracho-alchemist" (alliteration ftw)

If Roo was an adventurer... Roo would be an Elf/Goat (Satyr?) Archer, he's a lot more feeble and fragile, however does pretty reputable damage, although he's a master in normal flint/iron tipped arrows and a wooden bow, he can also deal damage via crossbow bolts and a crossbow, or variously tipped arrows (poison, fire, etc), but like me, the damage wouldn't be as comparable to what he's good at using. Along with being an archer, he's also a bard and has a once-per-battle spell where he can enchant the opposing party into being distracted for 3 turns / 2 turns ( smaller enemies / bigger enemies [ In the case of a time-based battle and not turn-based like bg3, it would be somewhere around 1 minute / 45 seconds for smaller / larger enemies respectively ]). He's also that one character that makes you wonder if he's dressed for the role and the answer to that would be no, no he is not, but somehow makes it work LMAO His familiar/companion would be a deer (I think it just fits his twink-ish vibes </3)

His Adventurer name would be something like "Roo the Rising-in-Fame Archer" (rising in fame would be a nod to his musical talent and the archer part is obv OASJHDNB)

[runawaymun]

For the ask game, Celebrimbor and 5, 21 and 25?

OoOOOO thank you!!!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Three - Sleeping at Last

I'm constantly thinking about his relationship as the third Curufinwe, and his decision to take his mother-name, rather than continue Fëanor's legacy. How he's still very much a smith, very much on the edge of hubris, very much seeking perfection -- but in the end he creates three masterworks and gives them away, rather than guarding them for himself. Augh. He's so good.

Anyway this song is very him for me.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I've just loved writing soft!Celebrimbor - Celebrimbor who is so kind and gentle and caring and warm. And of course the little hints of obsession as something that is both a strength and a flaw.

I'm not at all a fan of the fanon silvergifting dynamic. Like I do laugh at the memes sometimes, but idk. I think I feel about it the same way as I feel about kidnap fam where there is a lot of potential there that's very underutilized, but my thoughts on it aren't quite fully formed tbh. Mostly I think I just dislike how ubiquitous it is and I really dislike the twink!Sauron trope lol. It's such a fundamentally uninteresting reading to me, I guess? That's not to say that I haven't seen it done well. I have, and those fics and art pieces I've really enjoyed. But idk the ubiquitous stupid-sexy-twink-sauron x big buff himbo Celebrimbor is not really a dynamic that I enjoy I guess.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

To be honest I really did not care about Celebrimbor at first! Like he was an impactful figure in the Silm for me, obviously, but nothing about the sort of fanonized interpretation of that Silm figure ever really intrigued me. I guess the silvergifting angle didn't help either. I just was super meh on him.

And then, dare I say it, Rings of Power rolled around with Charles Edwards - and Charles brings such an insane warmth and sincerity to the character, along with sort of breaking the twink dark haired elf mold that everybody squashes him into, and behind the warmth and sincerity there's just that teeny bit of Fëanorian madness whenever he gets going on something and idk. It really made the character click for me and I was like oh. OH.

Plus Charles Edwards is a dilf, and I'm not ashamed to say so.

And so now Tyelpe is Best Boy to me. I love him your honor.

Also, ironically, I'm more into silvergifting now but I think that's mostly out of anti h*ladriel spite than anything else, combined with how much sexual tension Charlie and Charlie had. How Sauron immediately gets all touchy-feely with him and TheeEEEeEEE Celebrimbor????? Insane. They were insane for that. I was foaming at the mouth for them to make out on the anvil and it's crazy to me how little Silvergifting rep there is in the ROP fandom. I honestly felt like they had a thousand times more sexual chemistry than whatever is going on with Galadriel.

Character Ask Game

[britcision]

Okay it’s time for the primer for the Four Heralds AU cuz I’ve got so much to post and some of it only involves the heralds tangentially so other people might read it.

SO!

As the title suggests, there are four heralds of Andraste:

Tavi Adaar - a qunari mage woman, she/her pronouns, bisexual, mostly blind (late stage retinitis pigmentosa), 23

Corin Cadash - a nonbinary dwarf warrior and blacksmith, they/them pronouns, sex positive asexual, ADHD and arthritic as hell, 42

Lluciano Lavellan - an elf rogue, he/him pronouns, femboy, omnisexual twink, seizures both of the motor and absence variety, AuDHD cranked up to eleven, 25

Séamus Trevelyan - a human warrior, trans man, he/him pronouns, gay as hell, chronic insomnia and hard of hearing (binaural, moderately severe), 37

Only Séamus was actually supposed to be at the Conclave, but Lavellan is our game protagonist and victim of most major plot events

(A different group from Adaar’s mercenary troupe were supposed to be sent, but got waylaid on the road so Adaar’s group subbed in since they had the shortest travel time

Lavellan was actually specifically told to stay as far away from the Conclave as possible with his scouting, walked over a single hill, and said “hmm where was I not supposed to go again oh well can’t be important” and went to check out the Conclave

(He was hiding from the other actual Lavellan spy when he came across Justinia and Corypheus)

And Cadash is a menace to society, entirely stealth free, chronic pain bitch who is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but an unforeseen flu ravaged the local branch of the Carta and since dwarves very rarely get sick, none of them knew what to do about it

Corin, being a blacksmith, at least had a semilogical reason to be carting a large load of lyrium, and no one who talked to them for five minutes would believe they were capable of being a spy, which was close enough at the last minute

Trevelyan is the oldest son of the Trevelyan family in the Free Marches, who hoped he would eventually become a templar right up until this whole “rebellion” thing made it a bit unsexy

He’s a knight instead, and actually prefers living and training with the knights to being at home so he did get himself one whole non-nepotism promotion

Most of his friends and all of his subordinates went to the Conclave with him to keep the peace and be a bit more impartial. Oops.)

This whole thing mainly started with me looking at Cole and going “you know what would be funny and extremely counterproductive? An Inquisitor with ADHD hanging out with Cole”

So now we have four beautiful, disabled, queer heralds because why stop at one?

(Tavi has also been fucking around with time magic, mostly around Slow spells, and it got weird with what Corypheus was doing and accidentally replicated the anchor they were all playing Keep Away with

Lluciano got hit in the face with at least one, he didn’t used to have the green face tattoos but so many Dalish do that no one has asked and he hasn’t noticed yet

None of them are at full power, but they’re not quite even quarters and can combine when focusing on the same rift to speed things up

Corypheus only needs one)

The full herald rundown will be linked here when it exists!

Fic (by me) and art (by @ekwolfwood) will be added in reblogs

Lluciano and Corin are staring in most of it so far, by dint of Luci being the main character and Corin being A Problem On Purpose slightly harder than the other heralds

[skiplo-wave]

ok can we talk about WTF is this list for GOTY? tbh we didn’t had as much good shit as initially thought this year, idk.

like LOZ:TOTK is winning by a landslide. i mean, it’s zelda. that shit always win.

literally heard absolutely nothing for AW2, except for being on epic game store (ew) despite being highly anticipated.

BG3 is my pick idgaf. the vampire elf twink can get fucked with me and a literal bear all day.

spider-man 2 is probably going to be a runner up, mfs like it. i don’t have PS to judge (and ew $90 for live no thanks).

while RE4 remake is good (played it way too many times to get on the skins and shit), it doesn’t hold up as well as the OG RE4.

SMBW just came out two weeks ago, and is an actual baby game. ik ik all super mario bros games are baby games, but this. this can literally be played by an infant fresh out of the coochie with that new baby smell and mf can kill it.

Yeah my money is on Tears of the kingdom. The fact so many people played not spoiling but just dicking around breaking all laws because in the game YOU CAN shows just how fun gameplay is. Doing the story plot is mere chance depending where you yeet yourself off sky islands lol Also gonna get my amiibos this friday :D

Spiderman 2 as hyped as it was I didn't see nearly enough posts on twitter compared to TOTK. Besides people roasting Miles new suit ( that shit fugly omg) and dumb discourse if Miles is woke or not. He's spiderman just like all other 8000+ spidermen

I still don't want heck Baluder gate is but vampire elf twink is all I need to know ( and porn of him hehe)

RE4 Leon is breedable babygirl but nothing will EVER Top Mommy dommy Lady D. Need more sexy monster ladies to toss me around damn it >:/

Mario wonder. I've been playing good wild trying 100% each level I can but yeah it's for babies. The fact Yoshi and Nabbit is just easy way to not die. Or if you have online on many people and standees can save you. Very much baby game, but a fun baby game that broken out of " New" Wii super mario bros x3. Also new voice actors doing wonderful job!

I never heard of alan wake what is that

[mintyeggs]

I think you should answer every question from the ask list you want to 👀. I'd really love to know all there is to know about Sylvia

i'm flattered! ill answer a majority, some aren't necessarily relevant to Sylvia's story or are repetitive, so i'll omit or condense those though.

answers under a readmore for brevity!

Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision?

Sylvia - College of Swords Bard - Seldarine Drow - He/Him. He's from Menzoberranzan, from a lower class family, and was sold into slavery. It wasn't necessarily an informed decision to play a drow, I just chose the pretty options in the character creator.

Was there something about the character creator that just couldn't capture your Character? Please tell us about their hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercings, disabilities, their trans or intersex body, or anything else you're comfortable sharing.

As you might have seen from some of my anatomy posts (x x x), Sylvia is slowly turning into a drider, and eventually lets the Emperor evolve him to be partially illithid to stagnate the process for a while. The two things the character creator didn't let me do were give him his extra eyes and give him a tiny twink body.

Has your Character been using their illithid powers?

Yes! From a gameplay standpoint, it's incredibly powerful, from a lore standpoint, Sylvia would absolutely do anything necessary to stall his drider transformation, even if it means risking ceremorphosis.

Do you remember in which order you recruited your companions? Which companion introduction would have felt the most familiar / like home to your Tav / Character?

This is a little complicated! In game, he recruited shart, gale, laezel, and astarion in that order. However, in my canon for him, he's actually a recruitable companion for my partner's durge in act 2! You rescue him from the shadowcursed lands, after accepting a quest in last light. More info on this to come via illustrations in the future! As for familiarity, well, Sylvia was drawn to Astarion pretty quickly. He's way too gullible to see past his charms.

Do you remember the first humanoid enemy your Character killed? Was it the first person they've ever killed, in your opinion? Would they have been bothered by it?

The first humanoid Sylvia killed was likely one of the cultists at Moonrise towers. Being raised in a largely drow society, killing others isn't a rare sight to see, but that doesn't mean he likes to do it. He much prefers to use his words and let others decide when violence is necessary.

Were you able to save everyone when the goblins stormed the gates at the Grove? Did you enter the Grove? How did the situation with the Grove, the Tieflings and the Goblins turn out for your Character? Did you save Halsin?

Again, if we're going by the canon, he was trapped in the Underdark/Shadowcursed lands while Dirge and the rest of the gang was dealing with the Grove situation. However, if Halsin ever invited him to visit, he would love to be surrounded by sunlight and nature. Speaking of Halsin, Dirge did rescue him, and Sylvia was pretty much enchanted at first sight. What's not to like about a big, sturdy hunk of an elf?

Do you have a NPC you loved? What about your Character?

Sylvia found the tiefling siblings, Cal, Lia, and Rolan, to be very good company in the city. Personally, I really enjoy Zevlor, and I wish there was a way to save him from the mindflayer colony :(

What does your Character think of Withers?

Sylvia was pretty intimidated at first, because it felt like Withers was looking straight into his soul. However, he does take comfort in how wise and unbothered Withers seems. Withers is most likely very aware that Sylvia has more problems than just the tadpole...

How did your Character deal with Wyll, Karlach and Mizora?

For the most part, Sylvia let Dirge deal with a majority of the big plot hooks. As a rather passive person, his role is mainly to de-escalate or just weasel information out of people. Regardless, Sylvia was very openly hostile and afraid of Mizora on their first meeting--Menzoberranzan taught him that women like her are people to be silently feared and avoided.

Did your Character spend a night with a companion either the night of the party or earlier? Is it someone they have a continued interest in?

Now this is quite the situation! Sylvia's romance and love life is pretty messy, not going to lie. Since his story is part of Dirge's, there's some backstory to tell here. Dirge was originally having a fling with Astarion; one that ended quite poorly when he chose Gale over Astarion at the beginning of act 2. So, when Sylvia was recruited into the party, Astarion used him as a rebound, only to find that the poor guy was way too eager to get any kind of attention even if he was being blatantly used (to the point of Astarion drinking him dry one night). Their relationship was one of a very big power imbalance through act 2, up until Sylvia stood up for Astarion when meeting Araj Oblodra. After that, things smoothed out and fell into place (through lots of hard work from both of them), and eventually they added Halsin as their third in act 3. Romance is complicated, and Sylvia is gay as hell.

What are your Character's thoughts on the strange artifact that was in Shadowheart's possession? What are your Character's thoughts on the dream visitor?

Sylvia was very interested in the artifact! His dream visitor showed up almost immediately, and since it not only saved him from the Absolute's influence, but also slowed his transformation, he was very trusting of it, even when it turned out to be a mindflayer. (there may or may not have also been some...well, intimate moments between them. Sylvia is trusting to a fault when it comes to people he's close with.)

What was your favorite enemy? Did your Character have any memorable fights or moments in combat that were ripe for headcanons and interpretation?

My personal favorite was the Orin fight, the slayer form is just So Cool, and Bhaal's temple is a wonderfully crafted environment from a game design perspective. As for combat moments that struck a chord with Sylvia; fighting Cazador was one of the few moments in the game where he actively showed a drow's bloodlust. He was living vicariously through killing Astarion's abuser, as he will never be able to kill his own.

Who ended up in your Character's most used party?

My party is Sylvia, Astarion, Shart, and Gale! Gale gets swapped out for Laezel or Halsin, depending on my combat needs.

Did you recruit Scratch the dog? Did you encounter him at all? Did you adopt an owlbear? Do you have a name for your child? Do you have other pets as a ranger or in headcanon?

Dirge recruited both Scratch and the owlbear cub! Sylvia loves them both very much, and refers to the owlbear cub as "Big Boy". He doesn't have any other pets, but would gladly adopt any and all.

Does your Character have new or old phobias or superstitions that affect their story?

Sylvia has crippling arachnophobia. His time in the Underdark ended with him being trapped in a cave of spiders with Lolth whispering in his ears for quite a while, until he was brought to the surface.

What's your Character's experience with and opinion of Volo?

He feels some sense of kindred spirit with him, as they are both bards, albeit Sylvia on the more musical side of things. Other than that, Sylvia finds him a little too dramatic for his tastes.

Has your Character allied with the cult of the Absolute?

Not intentionally. Before Dirge rescued him, he was trying his best to fight the Absolute's influence, but with two powerful voices in his head (Lolth and the Absolute), he was basically just a mess, incapable of doing much but struggle. He did pretend to be allied to infiltrate Moonrise with Dirge, Gale, and Astarion.

Did your Character find the Necromancy of Thay? How are they handling it / planning to handle it?

In my playthrough, he gave it to Astarion. However, in his canon, I believe Dirge gave it to Gale.

Did your Character meet Barcus Wroot? How's he doing?

Sylvia found Barcus quite charming! He has a strong interest in any sort of skills that he hasn't come across yet, so artificers are people he loves to chat with. After blowing up the Steel Watch foundry, Barcus became the head of the ironhand gnomes.

What does your Character think of Raphael?

He thinks Raphael is a pompous ass and a narcissist. Sylvia's companion questline does involve Dirge rescuing Sylvia from the House of Hope, though I think that's better explained in a different post.

Is your Character used to strange dreams from before the events of the adventure?

Not dreams, but nightmares, certainly. Unwillingly hearing Lolth's voice and being an object of her torment is far from pleasant.

Is your Character accustomed to being on the road from before the events of the adventure?

He's not at all! That's not to say that he dislikes it, quite the opposite, actually. He loves being on the surface, traveling, and learning new things. Anything beats being a slave in Menzoberranzan!

Has your Character been to the Underdark from before the events of the adventure?

Yes, and he can't get far enough away from it! He wants to spend the rest of his days soaking up the sunshine and starshine of the surface.

if you have any questions about anything i've mentioned here, feel free to DM me or ask anonymously again!

[squishymochithethird]

Omg i got tagged in a tag game ily @ragefilledmunchkin 🥺

Last Song: NOX - the GazettE. Istg everyone’s sleeping on their most recent album so much.

Currently Watching: Just finished Good Omens S2. No spoilers but uhhhh I might need a bit before I commit myself to something else. I kinda want to rewatch LotR since I have a few days off though…

Currently Reading: nothing. I live in shame.

Current Obsession: Thinking very hard about Skyrim lately. I’m always thinking very hard about Skyrim though. I’m at the point where I’m shipping other peoples OCs. I want that imperial twink and that pretty elf prince to hold hands already.

I’m Tagging - uhh uhhh uh i have social anxiety fuck @totally-not-deacon @cantstopnerding @a-bagel-with-anxiety and anyone else who wants to xoxo