#'look how happy obi-wan is surrounded by his people'

[seven-oomen]

They are a family, your honor. I don't make the rules.

Cal is Obi-Wan's new padawan (whether they are related or not. I think they are, but keeping the door open for people who don't see it that way. I just need more people invested in Codywan adopts/raises Cal) and he's only ten-years-old, and already he feels like he has to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

But can you imagine ten-year-old Cal holding Cody's hand on the bridge of the Negotiator while Obi-Wan and Cody talk about strategy or whatever.

Or they're just cruising through space for once and Cal's looking wide-eyed out the window, occasionally pointing to a nebula in the distance or some planets or something. And Cody's just holding the tiny hand in his own while listening to this tiny little Jedi padawan babble about something or the other.

How feral do you think Cody and the 212th will be if anything ever happens to Cal?

How feral do you think Obi-Wan 'the negotiator' will be?

Like the Jedi are not supposed to have unhealthy attachments, but that doesn't mean Obi-Wan does not get hopelessly attached to his padawans (Anakin is one example).

I think within a week, everyone on that cruiser is so hopelessly attached to that little boy with zero self-preservation skills that the entire galaxy soon knows that if you touch or hurt that boy, you have an entire battle cruiser raining down its fury upon you.

Cal finds himself surrounded by a sea of uncles and an auntie (clone trooper sister) and he's absolutely clueless on how much of an impact he actually has on those clones.

And Cody, Cody, has absolutely no idea how to handle a child. But he does his best. But he's awkward and unsure but very sweet around this kid. And Cal sees that. Absolutely takes advantage of the fact that the commander doesn't know how to handle him. (Within two weeks, Cody has him figured out, though. And he doesn't let him get away with anything anymore..)

But I need Obi-Wan teaching Cal lightsaber forms and meditation, and using the force. And also talking to him about his insecurities and emotions and fears. And that's okay to feel all these things, but you can't let fear or anger guide you.

Give me an Obi-Wan that tucks Cal in at night and reads him bedtime stories.

Give me a Cody that teaches Cal hand-to-hand combat and how to fire and aim a blaster (Obi-Wan is not happy, though he sees the usefulness of it.

And give me the 212th who see all of this happening and vow to snap as many holos, and shoot as many holovids as they can. (For blackmail purposes.. of course.)

[obislittleone]

CWM Oneshot: The Toil of Darth Vader

Hi, yes, this is my gift to you on may the fourth!! it is a sad and terrible oneshot surrounding anakin because i just felt like it.

Warnings: so much bro, just... so much. self hatred, depression, mentions of death and murder, mentions of self harm?? it's not traditional self harm but it still counts ig...

Summary: Darth Vader is the hatred that Anakin Skywalker exudes, but where does the hatred come from? (Obi-Wan is not mentioned in this, it's more of a little diddy about Anakin (Vader) and the women he used to have in his life, and the repercussions of not having them in his life.)

anyways happy may the fourth!!

He was the embodiment of evil.

His dark nature and tall stature made him the most intimidating creature in the universe. He dares not say human anymore, because that would mean he looked like one. He hadn't looked or felt human since the day his life ended.

He had glimpses of when he was alive before this, memories he wished he could burn like the skin of his body, torturous reminders of everything he had, everything he gave up. He knew it was all too late. How could he himself be redeemed when it was by his hand all redemptive acts were killed off.

He feels grief, and it fuels him. It fuels his anger and his hatred, and by this, he lives. Not as he wants to, but as he has to. He has to have power... but what is power without gain? The last ten years he stands to gain nothing for himself and everything for the empire. That was the plan all along, wasn't it? For Palpatine to use him as his primary enforcer and guard dog?

He knows all these things, and they plague him. He regrets his every move of every day, but he still goes on. He kills people, viscously, ruthlessly. Innocent people that should never know suffering, he inflicts terror upon. And he does it to punish himself.

He was meant to be the embodiment of good. The only thing that stood a chance in bringing balance to the force. The balance has not been made, and he wreaks havoc to make it worse. He does not deserve to, after all this time, make amends. He doesn't deserve his redemption. He wants to feel pain and suffering and hatred and malice for the rest of his life, because it is the complete opposite of what should have been. One wrong decision, and it cost him his life.

Everyone he ever loved. Everyone he ever trusted and wished happiness upon.

His beautiful wife, and the children that never were. His closest friend and sister. His padawan, an ally he looked closely after.

All of these are dead to him, though he does not know of Ahsoka. He assumes after everything that happened, being mounted on an aircraft with half of the 501st, she stood no chance.

He sees all three, visions of the force, often memories that refuse to leave his mind. Some are just hallucinations that he finds are both a comfort and torture to him. Comforting because, he would give anything to see their faces again, but torture because, he is the reason he knows he never will.

He sees Padme in everything that is beautiful. Every lush planet he visits with the notion of destruction, he stops to look around. See the frightened faces of the people who could be smiling. He sees the nature of these places and remembers how she used to look out at scenery that was similar. She had such a romantic way about her, with everything she spoke. Even in the senate, she looked for the goodness... always.

He wonders how she ever saw it in him, even from the beginning. He was always destined for this, for the cruelty and brutality. He thinks it, anyway.

He sees Ahsoka in people's humanity. In the aftermath of the empire's crushing stomps, there are helping hands willing to lend themselves to another. There are still good people in the galaxy, and he thinks it's up to him to ruin that, because he is the ruiner of goodness and peace and serenity.

Ahsoka would look at him in such shame if she even caught whiff of what he'd become. He imagines she would try her best to abolish every aspect of him, and she was right to do so... but still if it ever happened, he could not lose. He can't let himself have the satisfaction of letting compassion consume him. He's too gone for it.

He sees his sister in fiery flames, in things that burn red and hot and uncontrollable with passion... but whenever the fire burns out he remembers the way she did, her fire still burning through those that she carried to safety. He remembers his last exchange with her often, the look in her eye one of fear and distrust and complete heartbreak.

His best friend, his most loyal ally, even to the end. Amidst the wreckage of a burning Temple full of slaughtered Jedi, she came back to save him... but he'd been dead already. Anakin Skywalker died long before she did, and this creature, this thing is what remains.

He sees her the most often, sitting at the end of a dark hallway, looking at him with toil and anger. He finds himself speaking to the apparitions when no one is near.

"You must leave me," he pleads, the words always met with a reply in her own voice, though it's echoing and in shambles.

"There's no leaving what one has never arrived to."

"Will I ever know peace?" He sometimes begs, but he knows what the answer is, he created it.

"You will reap what you have sewn. I am only here to remind you..."

And still he suffers. These visions of her are never happy. He remembers happy things about Ahsoka and Padme. He curses his mind when he does, but it's still possible. He never manages to see a smile on her face like he used to. It brings him more pain but he uses that as well. He has endless fuel for power in the dark side, so long as he remains miserable and full of hatred.

He hates so many things. But most of all himself, and it will never change. He is not the long dead Anakin Skywalker, he is what remains.

The lord of a darkness that has consumed him whole, Darth Vader.

-

lol i wrote this in like 20 minutes i just had so many thoughts.

[anakinskywalker97]

5 - The Rise of Skywalker

Vader x Ex-Padawan reader - Chapter 5 - Meditation

Previous parts

Summary: Vader finds out the true extent to how much damage his body endured after mustafar, meditation leads him to an old friend.

Thanks for all the love on this series! Reblogs and comments are what keep me going! <3

Warnings: panic attack description, hurt/comfort

No one would be that stupid. 

Vader wasn’t sure what you meant until he saw it with his own eyes. People had a very healthy respect for you, especially the Rebels and their alliances. You had a reputation, one he didn't realize belonged to you. He had heard of the Shadow Tempest many times. The epic runs, always one step ahead of the Empire. The pilot behind almost all the notable Rebel wins. In all his time with you he always did most of the piloting, he knew there were a million things to do and sort out but more than anything he wanted to take you out and see who would win. 

He sat there in a meeting of people, the higher-ups of the revolution, and watched as they listened to you. You never asked for anything, simply told them that he was on your side now and that he needed the best medical. In return, they would have your help in defeating the Empire. They were very eager to have your support, apparently up until this it was very hard to persuade you into helping them. Something he would ask more questions about as from what he was told your ship had been center stage in most Rebel wins. He was surprised that help from you and Obi-Wan was enough for them to overlook his past. 

Obi-Wan let out a tense laugh as they handed him a bank card. Apparently, all his money was in his account and had been converted over to card technology despite his leaving.  He could go run off and be a murdering psychopath then come home and find out how much interest he had earned off his funds. This wasn't right. He didn't deserve this. People had to accept him at your request, but he could feel the way they trembled in his presence. Fear gripped people tightly and he could even feel their concern for you. Even without being able to read their thoughts, he knew their plans to pull you aside to see if you had stockholm syndrome or if he had possessed you. He guessed that was a good thing, people here cared about you. Everyone stopped what they were doing to greet you, relief that you were safe overwhelming their features, it was good to know it wasn’t skin deep. People really cared. 

He was unsure about the Rebel's plans for the Empire though. But then again he was retiring from this world. He would kill the Sith, try to come back from being one, restore balance to the universe, and hide away with you - hopefully forever. 

Ahsoka had not been pleasant, but she came around for the sake of ending the Empire. He hoped in time he could mend things with her. She had been your closest friend and he missed how easily she fit into the family that was formed during the Clone Wars. A family he had to put back together. 

R2 was beyond happy to see him. He ran around him squealing loudly. Everyone looked horrified but he bent down and put his arms around the droid. Affection towards R2 was easy. He was the most dependable thing in his life for the longest time. He was well-maintained but still looked like he was an active participant in the war. He thought of all the lore that surrounded the Shadow Tempest, more than anything he wanted to pull R2’s memory and watch every bit of footage he had saved. He would come back for it another time. 

“I kept her safe” R2 chirped loudly in his language and he laughed again patting the little droid on what would be considered his head. 

“Thank you, you did an excellent job R2.”  He was grateful he left something behind to help you in his absence even if it was unintentional. 

Then the medical meetings started. Once he saw all his options, he was overwhelmed. From the stem cells they had of his on file, they could re-grow most of his skin to cover the prosthetics. They would have to remove more of his arms and legs as the nerves had been permanently and purposely damaged where they met the metal prosthetics. The rest of his skin could be healed with minor scaring, they could even regrow his hair follicles. 

After looking at the scans and seeing the damage Palpatine did he had to leave. 

He had no idea what he gave up that day on Mustafar. 

He lost the woman he wanted to marry, the ability to give her a nice life, to touch her without hurting her, to touch her and feel her skin. Not to mention the horrible things he had said to you at the end lived rent-free in your mind all these years.  He had given up the one person in the world he considered family, he had tried to kill his brother. All of this was to build something better for them. Yet he spent years trying to kill Obi-Wan, terrified of his old master. The sickness was too much to contain as it all came flooding back to him. 

Let me go - he commanded you as he left the building. It was cruel but he was drowning in pain. He was so consumed with rage and self-hate he left to go to the temple where Obi-Wan had been going to meditate. 

He knew the only true way out was through. He couldn't go on a rampage, couldn't give into weakness. He couldn't lose you again. 

Palpatine had made him suffer to prevent him from his full potential. To keep him from his density. Just as the Jedi had done. Everyone wanted to hold him down, force him to comply, just like Watto. He had been so caught up in thinking he deserved the pain, which in his opinion he still did. Palpatine gave him the illusion of control and freedom. That power was so seductive but what had it gotten him? The lives he took ran through his mind at a speed that made him dizzy. Nausea gripped him as the familiar coldness ran up his limbs to settle in his stomach. It was what he imagined death felt like. The icy energy caressed his body, but he had been here too many times before to know he wasn't that lucky. 

It was his punishment, he had earned it fair and square. A lifetime of suffering would never be enough to make up for the lives he took. His mind ran through this for hours as he sat in the temple trying to find peace and clarity. 

He’d done too much, taken too many.

“You did what the Force deemed necessary.” The voice made him jump, not an easy thing to do. The hazy, glowing form of Qui-Gon was in front of him. 

“I -” He started to argue back. 

“You - are the living force. The Sith willed you into existence Anakin, there is a power in you unlike anything else in this Galaxy.” He explained calmly and his heart sank at the realization of his words. 

“I’m evil.” His voice was so broken. A truth he always should have known deep down. There would be no path leading towards the man you wanted, needed, him to be. 

“No, there is no good and evil in the true force, this concept of light and dark comes from the people sensitive to it and how they choose to use it. You are what it is in its true form” 

“Then why is everything inside me so painful.” His voice was wet with the tears streaming down his cheeks. As far back as he can remember that power inside him has always been anger. 

“Because you experienced great pain. You have to understand that your life was always one with the force. The choices you made were ultimately the direction of the force. It wants balance. The Sith and Jedi were flawed ways of doing things, it’s your job to follow this through.” His words brought tremendous relief and a tremendous amount of anxiety at the same time.  

“I failed you.” He whispered. 

“I failed you. Had I been around I fear that things would have been better for you. Obi-Wan was not ready, but that does not mean he doesn't care for you.” Qui-Gon smiled sadly. “You have done great things, terrible things, and carried the pain of  both of them.” 

Anakin sobbed. This task he was burdened with, the pain he had to cause to settle debts that had nothing to do with him. Seeing Qui-Gon made him feel like he was ten years old again. He wanted to run into his arms and hold him.

“Thank you.” He said softly. 

“Now, you must complete your training with Obi-Wan, I have shown him what is needed. You must also complete training your Padawan.” He gave Anakin a big smile. “She is more important than you realize. The second half of the prophecy rests on her shoulders. You must be there to help her carry it.” 

“What’s the second half of the prophecy?” His voice went dark again. He didn’t want this nonsense anywhere near you. He wanted to end Palpatine and have this part of his life over with. Had he not sacrificed enough of himself for it? Had he not tried to make the right choice every time despite the cost? The only request he had ever had in this life was to spare you and his mother.

“Don’t worry about that. Just focus on training and confronting Palpatine. Only then you will be a Jedi, a true Jedi.” Qui-Gon looked at him for a long moment. “She will be fine.” His eyes held an emotion that Anakin didn’t understand. It scared him, but he trusted Qui-Gon. He didn’t really have a choice in the end, you were too involved to shut out. You were certainly not naive enough to dump off on some planet again. 

He had a million questions but felt Qui-Gon fade out. A new presence took his place, one he knew could have no form or words. She could just manage a feeling and it was enough. It was more than enough, the feeling wrapped around him and he held onto his mother tightly. 

After a long while, he came back to the present moment. He reached out to Obi-Wan, knowing that reestablishing the bond would be unavoidable. 

Master - He reached out and felt the bond attach on the other side. 

Anakin - Obi-Wan sounded surprised and the full force of his calm presence washed over Anakin. How much he had missed being able to reach out and feel his master. The feeling was so overwhelming he needed to stay in it for a moment. 

I need your help - He was unsure of what he would have left to learn from Obi-Wan but he trusted Qui-Gon. 

Obi-Wan rushed to the temple and Anakin could feel his unsettled nature. The concern for him made him want to cry again. He didn't deserve this side of Obi-Wan. He watched his master take in his meditation pose and his eyes softened. He sat next to him and Anakin tried to keep his composure as Obi-Wan’s arm came around his shoulders. 

“I want to apologize again,” Obi-Wan whispered. He could feel Shmi’s presence had not left the temple yet. 

“Please don’t.” Anakin choked. He could tell through the newly established bond just how much sorrow Obi-Wan’s heart carried. He was overflowing with it. He knew he felt responsible for Anakin’s mother, for how poorly the council had treated him, especially when he was a boy. He could feel how painful exile had been, how he couldn't escape Anakin so he moved to Tatooine to fully accept his punishment. How much he hated the sand, but how much he loved being close to the brother he lost.  Then he realized that the fresh paint and seasonal flowers on his mother’s grave was his doing. He could see his master there lighting a candle occasionally sitting with her telling her his best stories, all the moments she missed out on while he was away. The love for him that was often so well concealed flowed through the bond. 

“We failed each other,” Anakin whispered. 

“I was older and should have been wiser.” Obi-Wan said sadly. 

Anakin told him about the prophecy and they sat there together considering things. 

“You must overcome your emotions -” Anakin flinched and Obi-Wan put his hand back on his shoulder “ You must feel them and use them, but not be overwhelmed with them. Once you submit to your anger you lose the light, when you lose your anger and sense of justice, you lose your power. Everything must be about finding balance.” 

Anakin nodded.

“Do you think she will stay?” Obi-Wan looked confused by his question. 

“Why would she leave?” He asked softly, with tenderness in his features. 

“The whole Sith creation thing. She wants me to be better, that doesn't sound good with my track record.” Anakin could feel his insecurities start to rise up and he took a breath. 

Obi-Wan let out a laugh. “If she didn't want to see you she wouldn't have accepted jobs in Imperial air space for the past 7 years.” 

“I still can't believe you let her do that stuff,” Anakin said slightly put out with his master. 

“You think I could stop her?” He laughed again and Anakin shook his head. 

_________________________

He reluctantly stood in the elevator up to your apartment. He should feel a sense of relief, or motivated towards his plan. Instead he just felt anxious. He wanted you more than anything else in the galaxy. He’d sacrifice what he had to. He didn’t care that it was attachment, you were going to be his at any cost necessary. If you were horrified what would he do? Just force you down and fuck you back into submission again? 

No. 

He sighed as the door to your apartment opened, he hated it when you forgot to lock the door.  You were in the kitchen cooking, the sight of him caused you drop the wooden spoon into the frying pan. Your fingers picked it out and you hissed as the heat stung your flesh. 

Panic raced through him. Memories of Mustafar bit into his still aching flesh. He grabbed your wrist with too much force, using the other hand to manhandle you towards the sink. He put your fingers under cold water and tried to breathe. 

_______________

Anakin’s gloved hand had a painful grip on your wrist as he held it under the cold water. The fear in his eyes scared you as a cloud of darkness wrapped around him tightly. He wrapped his other hand around your torso and rested his cheek on the top of your head. You could feel his tears sinking into your scalp. 

“Anakin, it’s alright.” You said softly holding on to him with your free arm. “It won’t even scar, it doesn't hurt.” 

Your words were from this moment in time and you knew his mind was far away. In a world you probably wouldn't be able to reach. You let him hold you tightly. 

“I’m a Sith.” He said quietly making you jump slightly.

“I know.” You werent sure what exactly he was referring to. 

“What do you know?” He asked pulling away to look down at you. He was so much taller, you felt swallowed by his frame. 

“I had this vision? Not sure you could call it that exactly.” You tried to figure out what you wanted to tell him before you realized the best thing to do would be to read what you had written about it right after it had happened. No details would be missed or confused. “Here, I’ll grab my journal.” Your words did nothing to lessen his grip on you. 

He gave you a conflicted look. With the force he grabbed a jar of burn salve from the fridge. He opened it and stuck your fingers in it. 

“Just stay.” He was worn so thin it reminded you of when he had left you all those years ago. Three days he was at the temple, that probably meant three days without sleep. Not a good idea for Anakin. 

“Which journal is it?” He asked looking for guidance. 

“Erm - I’d have to help.” You picked the jar of salve up and kept your fingers inside it to appease him. Where did people go to get help for this sort of thing? You had no idea how to reassure him when he got like this. You just did what he wanted or had sex with him. 

He was satisfied with this. He moved with you to the bedroom. He followed your gaze to the few shelves that held notebooks, knowing full well he wouldn't listen if you told him not to read them. 

You pulled three from the shelf from around that time frame with the force and started flipping through them. His attention was engrossed with the colourful writing and drawings. You found the part you were looking for and handed it to him, returning the other two back to their place on the shelf. 

You reluctantly gave it over to him and returned back to the kitchen. Thankfully dinner hadn’t burned, as he’d turned the element down. He followed you leaning against your island while you kept cooking. His red eyes making sure your fingers stayed coated in the salve. 

You didn't hear him read the lines but you felt his heart clench. He rested his head in his hands for a moment. 

“Why did you come back?” He groaned. When you had written down what had happened you were completely terrified. You’d faced him and thought he had killed you. You woke up a shaking mess and wrote down every detail you could recall in case it came back to hurt you one day. You could feel his shame at the fear bleeding through the pages. 

“I didn’t I got captured.” You said evasively. You didn't know how to answer the question he was asking you. 

“Why did you bring me back.” He clarified his eyes devouring you. A memory came to you of laying in a field with him after a mission had ended and you were waiting on the ship to be repaired. The grass was covered in wild flowers and you laid in the sun, you had feelings for him but didn’t know how to tell him. You’d almost been hit on the mission and the way he had hugged you after was replaying through your mind. 

“I promised you I would always come back.” You referenced that moment when he had almost lost you for the first time. “There’s enough of you in there to make the risk worth it.” 

He closed his eyes and you felt him breaking down. You turned the element off half expecting to get jumped. 

“I’m sorry.” His words were so thick and raw. 

“Me too.” 

“No, you haven’t done anything. I did it all, turns out I had to in the end. But still, the things I’ve done to you-” His voice broke. 

“I wanted you to.” You felt his mind revisit that first night you had back together. 

“You didn’t.” 

“I did. I don’t know if you know this but I’m quite vocal when I’m unhappy.” You smirked.  

“You tried to push me away, I thought it was you pulling us together -” He took a deep breath. He needed to eat and then sleep before he got too carried away. 

“I don’t care. I wanted you back. That’s what I got.” 

“There’s another part to the prophecy.” His voice was low. 

“Oh boy.” you whispered. 

“Qui-Gon won’t tell me what it is, but it’s about you.” His features looked manic and you knew it was time to shut things down before he went over the edge. 

“I can handle it.” You said staring him down. You wouldn't let him be an idiot about things this time. “Now. I’m going to wash my fingers off, we're going to eat. Then sleep.”  He considered you for a long moment. You could tell he was recounting what happened last time he got this worn down and scared. 

He gave you a reluctant nod. You both ate quickly and despite it being 7:30 at night you got washed up and into bed. 

Anakin fell asleep quickly leaving you time to think about everything. The true power of the darkside was a mystery to you.  Having been Force resistant for the past 7 years, you felt particularly extra sensitive to it now. You could feel two sides of the force battling inside him, even as he slept the conflict radiated off of him. The pain still ate at his bones and his lungs were still struggling. Despite warring on him, the force was so strong it kept his body functional, making up for the gaps and the failings of his flesh. 

Just like everything else about Anakin Skywalker, this was something unheard of. Even when he wanted to die, even when his body was decaying, the force still pushed him forward.

[tideswept]

Trick or treat!!

From this ask game | Hi nonnie! thank you for coming back!

🌙 ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ɪs…! 🫀

Tatooinian Glass Artist Canon Divergence Obikin AU

(ok, that was a mouthful, but you'll understand in a second. Also, shoutout to @grapenehifics for putting the idea of glass into my head.) Glass is extremely important in Tatooinian culture, both for the slaves and the slavers. Sand is one of the few things they're in abundance of, so once upon a time, they thrived as crafters. But when demand for their craft died, so did the workshops, the artists--after all, making glass takes water, and that's not something they can waste.

So most glass is passed from long ago, or made in very tiny quantities. The knowledge is forgotten, and the tools simply don't exist.

Enter Anakin, who, incidentally, is a child of the Force who can blast pure concentrated energy enough to melt sand. It's fun. It's pretty! He gifts his first piece to his mother. Then to the other slaves. Finally, a good use for sand, he thinks proudly every time someone is overjoyed when he slips the glass into their hand.

But the glass bits that Anakin creates aren't simply glass; they're Force-attuned glass. Not in the way kyber is, not that strong, but the potential is there.

And it's in the hands of a small slave boy doing it for fun.

Eventually, Shmi realizes that her son's creations are dangerous. Both ideologically and quite literally. Glass, to the people of Tatooine, means prosperity. It means worth of the sea that surrounds them. It means a life before there were slavers oppressing them.

And not to put a fine point on it, but it doesn't take much engineering to turn Anakin's glass into a weapon.

They can use this to fight back.

Several years later, the Hutts are dead. Tatooine outlaws slavery. Then the Clone Wars start, which doesn't make them happy. They didn't just win their freedom only to be ground under the heel of war.

Their elected leader, Shmi Skywalker, contacts the Order. She has a proposition for them. Something they'd be very interested in looking into.

And she sends a small, perfectly round marble that shines like a supernova in the Force.

General Kenobi and his Padawan are sent to Tatooine to speak with Skywalker. Where did she get this? How is it possible? Shmi is not willing to divulge anything she doesn't have to without negotiating first. If the Order wants to know the secret behind the glass, she has demands.

Obi-Wan reluctantly agrees. The Order has to understand what this is before the Separatists discover it. And upon the deal being sealed, he meets Master Glasssmith Anakin Skywalker--Shmi's gorgeous, snarky, intensely curious (and just plain intense) son, who can create beautiful Force-attuned glass with Force-lightning, stars preserve them.

(is this anything?)

[im-poe-dameron]

CELESTIAL SERENITIES

➔CLONE WARS ARC #03: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

a/n: so one year later and i'm finally back writing for this fic. only this time i actually have quite a lot of time to finish it and work consistently on it. to anyone who still finds this fic interesting, thank you for sticking around. i hope you enjoy what's to come. this is pretty much the final part to the clone wars arc, but i have an interlude planned. so that will come next. for now enjoy an angst filled chapter!

summary: in the final moments of your farewell, you both finally admit the truth.

word count: 7.4k+

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, angst so much angst, fluff, mentions of death, injury, soft sex, tad bit of body worship, p in v sex, cussing, goodbyes.

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“Look after Obi-Wan. He’ll need you now more than ever.”

Darkness felt unnerving when you didn’t know where you were. Whatever surrounded you felt safe—as if you could sink into it—yet something was off. You didn’t know this place, didn’t know why you were here. However, the voice that continued to speak to you calmed the panic in your veins; it was familiar to you—whoever he was. Shifting, you tried to turn to the left but something held you back. No matter how much you struggled against whatever kept you in place, you still couldn’t move.

“Hello?” you called out, your heart rate fluctuating the longer you remained here.

Wherever here was.

“It’s been a long time youngling.”

You stiffened, eyes darting around in the darkness until you could visibly see a small outline of light making the shape of a person. But this wasn’t just any simple person—this was someone who you didn’t believe it possible to see again. Qui-Gon Jinn stepped closer, a smile on his face as he regarded you with a look you’d seen before. One he gave to you when you managed to drag his padawan into trouble. The sight brought a sting of tears to your eyes; a memory flashing in your mind as you recalled the times when you’d been blissfully happy.

“Hi,” you whispered.

His hand reached out, gripping yours and pulling you to your feet—the capability to move suddenly back. “My you’ve grown.”

“The last time I saw you I was only twenty.” You smiled, following him as he began to walk forward. “Actually the last time I saw you, you and Obi-Wan were heading to…Naboo.”

The topic of his death only came up once before when Obi-Wan had made a trip back to your home world, utterly devastated as he shared the news of his master’s fate. That had been your last night together—the last time you saw him—and in a way it came naturally. As if the both of you had to part ways in order to find yourselves amidst the galaxy’s hardships and downfalls. You were both lost in a way until you found one another again.

Qui-Gon nodded, glancing at you for a brief moment. “I know what you are to him.”

“You do?”

“I’ve always known.”

A flash of trepidation filled your body. “Then why did you let it go on for so long?”

“Obi-Wan needed to find his own way back to the Force. Unlike what people believe, it is not the masters who tell them what to do. We simply guide them the best way we know how.” He stopped, turning to face you.

“I thought Jedi aren’t supposed to form attachments with people they love,” you whispered.

“They aren’t. Attachment leads to necessity which then leads to possession and a Jedi must only rely on themselves, but it seems in his case…he is unable to survive without you.”

He knew the entire time he resided on Corellia with the both of you. He knew the moment Obi-Wan met you that you’d remain in his life until he breathed his final breath. You wanted to ask him how he found out, ask him all the questions you never got to, but you felt a sharp pain shoot down your body—forcing you down to one knee. The tightening in your chest stunted your breathing for a moment and you gasped to fight against it. Qui-Gon merely helped you back up, his hands resting on your shoulders.

“I can’t—” you gasped, eyes screwing shut as darkness enveloped you once more.

“Do you care for him?”

The answer should have been simple. A quick yes or no, but just as they had before—the words lodged themselves in your throat, because they were too simple. Saying you loved him wasn’t good enough. Three words couldn’t possibly define the way you were unable to breathe without him. It wouldn’t be able to put into perspective how your body physically ached when you were apart; how you spent every day thinking about him and wondering if he did the same.

Love was complicated, but the word was too simple to describe a lifetime of heartbreak. All leading to one final decision.

Whether or not you’d remain with him in the end.

“Yes,” you breathed, tears falling down your cheeks. “I love him.”

“Then protect him,” he replied. “He will need you.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You have more strength than you know. Don’t forget that.”

You watched as he slowly began to fade back into the darkness, his lips turning up into a small smile. One last goodbye before you continued on a journey you might not make it back from. A final farewell in the hopes that he’d continue to watch over you in every way possible.

You weren’t a Jedi, you didn’t possess the power to look into the Force, but you had this—a small moment in a place beyond death. Beyond life itself. So, you smiled back, tears still falling as you were encased in the cold hands of death, awaiting your fate.

The echo of your name filled your head, pain seeping back into your body as a flash of light overtook your senses. Gasping, you attempted to sit up, but every visceral agonizing moment hit you like a starship going into hyperspace and you were leaning over the side of the bed. Coughing, you saw a small splatter of red land on the floor as someone’s voice continued to call your name. Only it wasn’t your true name—no this was the one he solely reserved for you.

“Astra?” he asked, panic practically dripping from his very being.

You groaned in response, clutching at your side as he slowly turned you back into the softness of a medical bay bed. The armor you wore was piled in the corner of the room, your blaster atop it all, and instead you were draped in beige robes. They weren’t yours you knew that for a fact. The clothes you wore beneath your armor were black, but then his scent wafted up to your nose—burning through your senses and reminding you of where you were.

Fluttering your eyes open, your vision came in watery as tears streamed down your face, but the sight of him was enough. You could finally breathe after so long being suffocated down in the darkness—your home standing beside you.

“Obi-Wan,” you murmured, feeling his hand squeeze yours as he sat on the edge of the bed.

The worry in his expression was evident, his eyes clouded with a pain you’d seen him wear before. The night his master died. Obi-Wan never handled grief well even though he liked to appear as strong as he possibly could be. Always the epitome of perfection among the Jedi. Only you saw the weariness in his face, the anguish lacing his tone as he spoke your name one more time. He couldn’t believe you were alive and that alone gave him some time to finally rest; to remind himself that while he was a Jedi there were far more important things in life.

“You were dead,” he said softly, brushing your hair back from your sweat covered forehead. “Your heart stopped.”

That would explain the darkness.

“I’m sorry.”

He smiled, the newer fresh lines in his face now showing slightly. “You don’t have to apologize for being dead dewdrop.”

“I should if it made you this worried,” you rasped, wincing when the pain returned to your side.

“They gave you a bacta shot, but until we get back to Coruscant there isn’t much they can do here.” He helped you sit up slowly, watching as you bit back a cry of pain. “I told Anakin he should have left you to me.”

“Can you blame him?” Grasping his hand, you held it in your lap. “He thought I was trying to kill you, Obi-Wan. I would have done the same thing.”

“You still died—”

“And came back.” You cupped his face gently, feeling his beard scratched the skin of your hands. “I’m right here Obi-Wan,” you breathed, forehead pressing against his.

“I thought…I thought I lost you.”

Pain twined around his soul so prominently that there wasn’t a moment you could not see it. How it affected every aspect of his being, his movements and words. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to truly feel the fear he kept hidden away and it was brutal. Jedi don’t fear anything. That fact became more of a rule than anything else. Yet in the end it left them vulnerable to the pain—broke them even further because they did whatever it took to push down that fear. Watching your heart give up brought that fear back; shoved it down his throat until he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Pain was a part of a Jedi’s life—this you knew.

“You didn’t,” you breathed, leaning heavily against him. Your body felt worn down, which wasn’t unusual given the current circumstances of your predicament.

Dying and coming back to life. That thought alone left your body feeling cold—the icy sensations of death still running through your veins. Qui-Gon’s words continued to echo in your mind. A reminder of what your life would amount to once you returned. Protecting the person you loved and as you looked at him—the glossy look of unshed tears in his eyes—you realized just how right he’d been. Obi-Wan needed you. More than you knew.

“Where’s Anakin now?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I sent him to watch over Senator Amidala.”

“Hm.” You brought his hand into your lap, tracing over the cuts and scrapes he acquired on Geonosis. “He’s in love with her, you know.”

Obi-Wan’s familiar sigh made you smile. “I know.”

“I saw the way they were on the battlefield. He would have died for her.” Not unlike how you felt about him—how you hoped he felt about you.

“He’s too young to know what love really is.”

You snorted, eyes dragging back to him. “Look who’s talking Kenobi.”

“That was…different.” He fought against the urge to smile, his lips twitching slightly at the memories that flooded both your minds. “We were different.”

“No we weren’t Obi-Wan. You just like to pretend you were a perfect padawan. When in reality Qui-Gon sighed twice as much as you do now when talking about Anakin.”

He relented, unable to fight against the smile any longer as he pressed his lips to your temple. This. Moments like this were what you both fought for yesterday—a chance to be at ease with one another again. Just as you once did before. This wouldn’t last. He knew that as well as you, but stolen time is what you built the basis of your relationship on. It became what you both feared, what you both needed to survive. You were each standing on either side of the blade, trying to meet in the middle without injury.

Thus was the brutality of love.

“I saw him again,” you murmured. If you closed your eyes you’d be able to picture his face—a man stuck in time and yet still present.

Obi-Wan hummed in response, head leaning against yours. “Who did you see?”

“Qui-Gon.”

That was enough to render a response from him. Pulling back he regarded you with a look of incredulity—as if your words weren’t even said in the first place. You couldn’t blame him for that. If you heard someone who possessed no connection to the Force whatsoever, claim that they saw the Force ghost of a Jedi Master, you’d think they were lying. Either that or insane. But you couldn’t lie to him anymore; refused to tell him anything but the truth, because your duty to the Republic nearly cost both your lives. That was something you could not forgive nor forget.

“I know– I sound– Well I sound ridiculous.” You felt the weight of Qui-Gon’s message weigh on your shoulders—your body curing inward with it. “I swear it was him.”

“How?” And there it was. The reason why you loved him. Obi-Wan didn’t question your sanity, didn’t claim you were lying, he simply believed. He put faith in you the same way he would the Force, because if there was anyone in his life he trusted…it was you.

It would always be you.

So you told him everything, sparing no details. You explained about the feelings you harbored when you woke up in that place; the fear that you were already beyond anyone’s help. Even going so far as to tell him Qui-Gon’s message and that…he knew about the relationship you two held. You told him all of this for one reason alone. Obi-Wan would be the only one to believe you; to truly trust your word as if it were his own.

Just as the pain was, you too were twined around his soul—so tight that pulling away now felt like agony.

“So you really did die,” he whispered, glancing down at your joined hands. “I knew it happened, but knowing you ended up somewhere.”

“I wasn’t entirely afraid,” you said in the hopes of reassuring him. “Qui-Gon was there and I can’t explain why, but I felt like…like everything was okay.”

“He guided you back.”

Obi-Wan glanced at you, the pain seeping to the far recesses of his mind once more. You’d see it again—you knew that now—but for now he could relish in the chance of seeing you alive. Qui-Gon guided you back to his life to protect him. Except the difference was, you were both protecting each other from the painful reality that awaited you. 

The war on Geonosis was only the beginning of something even larger than you and him—simply a piece of a puzzle that had yet to be formed. He would be called away—just as you would—to fight and once more goodbye would be simply another thing you had to endure.

An inevitable ending to your half finished story.

“He said you needed me, but I don’t think that’s true,” you said softly. “I need you Obi-Wan. I always have.”

“Dewdrop.” He gripped your chin with two fingers, turning you to face him. “You have no idea just how much I need you. It’s not possible to put into words.”

“Then don't.”

Reaching up, you twisted your fingers into his hair and pulled him down to you. His lips slotting over yours with ease—fitting together perfectly once more. He inhaled sharply, hand cupping your face to tilt your head slightly as he licked softly against your bottom lip. Kissing him was akin to going outside and breathing fresh air for the first time in months. It was as if you finally found the other half of you that hid in the crevices of your mind—too far to reach. You wanted to kiss him all the time, whenever you possibly could.

Opening your mouth, you pushed back with enough fervor, causing a shiver to wrack his body—the wet warmth of his tongue against yours bringing back the ache you so desperately yearned for. While the other night was full of passion—borderline feral need—this was soft, tender enough to twist your heart. He didn’t kiss you to have you, because you were already his. In every way a person could be.

Tugging on him, you moaned into his mouth, tightly gripping his hair to keep his lips against yours. In return he bit down on your bottom lip, sucking it slowly into his mouth. He tasted like anguish doused in a sweetness that could only come from him. And you took it. You took until he had nothing left to give; drowning in the way he sounded, smelled, and even in the way he looked. His hair was longer than it ever had been and you couldn’t deny that it became a part of the appeal.

“I can’t,” he whispered, pulling away slightly, his lips still brushing against yours that were shiny with his spit. “You’re injured.”

You smiled, eyes in a dreamy haze of lust and love. “We both know that’s not the reason I’ll scream.”

“Dewdrop,” he growled, yanking your lips back to his with no more trepidation.

Having sex right now probably wasn’t the best option, given your recent walk with death, but you couldn’t stop the thrill of want that spread quickly down your spine. You wanted him despite the injury that made it hard to move. Breathing him in, you felt pleasure build up in your stomach as he moaned into your mouth—the sound filled with his own want.

“Tell me we’ll have more than this,” he whispered against your lips.

You knew where the words—the plea—was coming from. The doubt filled his mind the second he saw you lying there on the brink of death. The same inkling that you harbored when you left him that night in your small home; doubt that you’d have more than just this. That life would steal away the remainder of your time together. You wanted to promise him that you’d have more than you could have wished for. That eventually…you’d be able to be happy together.

But you promised yourself you wouldn’t lie to him again.

“I don’t know if we’ll have more,” you said, pressing yourself as close to him as possible in your current position. “But I can hope that one day we’ll get the time we should have gotten now.”

You could see that the words helped him slightly as a small smile tugged on his lips. Time never seemed to be in your favor, but right now you’d steal back what time so rudely took in the first place. Neither of you were needed at the moment. Eventually you’d have to be brought in to discuss your next mission; as would Obi-Wan. Except you refused to focus on that when you finally had him wrapped around you—the ache in your chest finally dissipating after so many years.

“I want you Obi-Wan,” you breathed, gripping onto the front of his robes.

He sighed, his eyebrows pulling tight as if fighting the urge to act on what his body craved. “You’re in pain.”

“So are you.”

The way his lips twitched kept you from letting him go entirely. He needed this; to feel you beneath him, begging for him. It would return the control he thought he lost the second your heart stopped beating. It would remind him that you were still there and not a figment of his cruel imagination. The prospect of the moment being ruined is what caused a shift in both of you.

Which is why he kissed you.

His pained grunt was wet against your mouth, your hand dipping into his robes in search of his warm skin. You needed to feel him, any part you could reach to satiate the growing emptiness in your body. Something about your touch lit him up from the inside, turned his body molten as he fought against the urge to take you quick and rough. He was still aware of how you barely shifted, his hands strategically shifting away from your injury.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured, his forehead pressing against yours, hand grasping onto your thigh tightly.

You understood where he was coming from. Why he was so slow in touching you, and even then it was gentle—barely a brush against your skin. He didn’t want to inflict pain on you; he never had. Which is why you took his hands in your own, guiding them along your ribs until he cupped you through his robes, his thumbs instinctively going to your peaked nipples.

“Just touch me,” you breathed, lips brushing across his. “Touch me how you want.”

Leaning forward, he captured your lips in a searing kiss, tongue pressing against yours with a soft moan. If there’s one thing you knew about him, he would never tire of kissing you. Although you knew that you felt the exact same way. There were times that you wished you had met him differently. That he wasn’t a Jedi, but rather a man who was making his way through the galaxy.

If things were different then perhaps you would have been able to savor the time you had together. Rather than living in fleeting moments and broken promises.

“Please.” You dug your hands into his robes, attempting to pull at them, not wanting to wait any longer.

Except Obi-Wan had an insurmountable amount of patience. “I know,” he whispered, his hands reaching for the tie at the middle of the robe.

He pulled at it, watching with bated breath as it fell around your shoulders, exposing the expanse of your skin. The softness of it. Sighing softly, he dragged his lips down to your collarbone, pressing kisses wherever he could reach and nipping at the places he knew would draw out reactions from you. Biting into a spot along your neck, he grinned in satisfaction when you moaned, your hand digging into this hair.

“Don’t tease me Obi-Wan,” you said, unable to hide the smile in your words. “We don’t have much time.”

The reality of your situation seemed to click in his brain, his hands no longer light and steady—as if he had all the time in the world. Because that wasn’t possible. You weren’t given that luxury; rather you were forced to hide in what you could steal. So he finally gave in. His hands slid along your bare skin, lips finding yours again with a passion that stole your breath from your lungs.

You gasped, tugging on his hair to keep him from moving, as he shifted on the small bed. Dragging you over his lap, he allowed his hands the freedom to roam along your body, gripping at whatever he could reach. The robe was split open around you, draping down your thighs and obscuring what was happening from even the empty room. You wanted to lay naked with him—touch every little piece of his skin, trace all his scars you had yet to see. But there would have to be time for that later.

“Maker,” he breathed, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. Even with a bandage going around you, he still remained captured by your beauty. Awestruck by the view of you smiling down at him, wrapped in his robe. “You’re perfect.”

Smiling, you tilted his chin up to press another kiss to his swollen lips. “You flatter me Obi-Wan.”

Heat curled low in your stomach, licking softly at your body like a flame that had yet to be stoked.

He gripped your ass, sliding you forward until your cunt was pressed to the prominent bulge in his robes. “I’m merely telling you the truth dewdrop.”

“Oh—” You tugged at the fabric he wore, wanting it off, and he seemed to understand you without needing words. Releasing you, he peeled off the robes that blocked your hands from touching his chest.

Although only half of him remained visible, you took what you could get. He was here, touching you like you were the most valuable thing in the galaxy, and that was enough. It would always be enough.

Kissing his shoulder, you felt his hand creep up your inner thigh. He sighed softly when you widened your legs, giving him all the space he needed to touch you where you wanted him most. To feel how you practically dripped for him. A ragged noise tore from his chest when his fingers finally dipped into your slick, shock filling his body at the realization that he did this to you. He wasn’t sure there’d ever be a time when he wasn’t rendered speechless from it.

“Fuck,” you whined, grinding down against his fingers as they spread you open, gathering the slick at your entrance and circling it around your clit.

“Always so wet for me,” he panted, as if you were the one bringing him pleasure.

“Always for you.” The words were a sigh against his cheek, pleasure slowly creeping up your spine with each swipe of his fingers.

His body shivered, fingers sliding into your cunt in order to drag out a moan that he felt vibrate through his whole body. He wanted to listen to you fall apart for him over and over again. Wanted to stop time from dragging you away from him again to fight a battle that shouldn’t happen. Yet that wasn’t his choice to make. He was but a soldier for the Jedi Order to wield. And you were a player they couldn’t afford to let go of.

No, you weren’t going anywhere any time soon. Neither was he.

So he relished in the way your body writhed against him. Your eyes shut and mouth open, allowing all manner of sounds to break free. The echo of his fingers rapidly pumping into you made something hot burn in his body. A sensation he wanted to chase.

“I’m gonna—” A sharp intake of breath cut off your words as his fingers curved, finding where he’d drag you over the edge.

“Let go for me dewdrop,” he murmured, practically begging to see the one sight that had been burned in his mind.

Your hips canted forward, nails scratching along his chest as you sought the delicious heat that continued to build. His name was a reverent prayer on your tongue. Each word eliciting a response from him that drew you closer. As if you were two halves of a whole that had finally found one another again. Two puzzle pieces fitting back into place, picking up right where you left off.

“Obi-Wan,” you breathed, your lips sliding against his. “I love you.”

He was sure his heart stopped beating, your words sinking deep enough to heal whatever wound remained from the last time you left. All those years ago. Obi-Wan let out a shuddered breath, his eyes stinging as he watched your head tip back, your walls fluttering around his fingers. So he did the only thing he could do at that moment. He kissed you. Hard enough to finally push you the rest of the way, until you cried into his mouth—your body arching into his touch.

“Fuck.” He slipped his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of you spreading on his tongue. Meanwhile you went for the top of his pants, pulling him free and forcing a pained grunt to escape. “I-I’m afraid I won’t last long—”

You shook your head, lining him up with your entrance. “I don’t care,” you sighed.

The sound he let out was like an addiction to your ears. His head fell back, hands gripping at your hips as you took him in one thrust. Just the feel of him stretching you made your head spin—the slight sting of his cock against your walls was something you wanted to keep. For when you were forced to part ways again.

Grasping onto his shoulders, you set a pace that would get you there again. It wouldn’t take you long at all; not with every emotion that ran rampant in your body. A mixture of love, of fear and pain, all wreaking havoc on your very being. You wanted to ask him if he felt the same, or if this didn’t mean as much as let on. But then he started talking, his eyes filled with an emotion you could now discern amongst the rest.

“It’s always been you,” he rasped, guiding your hips and trying his best to thrust into you messily, your slick coating his upper thighs. “Since the moment I saw you beneath that dewdrop tree.”

His cock struck where you needed him most, causing your toes to curl. “Ah fuck—maker—”

“You’re the one.” He cupped your cheeks in his hands, dragging your lips back to his. “I love you my beautiful dewdrop.”

You weren’t sure if it was his words, or the searing heat of his kiss, or all of that combined, but you quickly fell over the edge again. The broken sob that ripped from your throat being swallowed by him, his tongue sliding along yours. It rushed through you, rendering you incoherent and sending bliss right through your very core. Hot tears spilled down your cheeks, your emotions getting the better of you. But in that moment you welcomed them.

They were the truth that you hid from him. The feelings you could no longer hold in.

“Cum for me my love,” you breathed, cupping his cheeks to watch his eyes roll back, a stuttered moan falling from his lips as he spilled into you. 

The warmth of his cum filling you sent pleasurable sparks up your spine and you sunk into it. Willed for it to continue rather than be sentenced to whatever came next. He seemed to feel the exact same way. His arms wrapped around your bare waist, dragging you closer as he leaned back against the cold wall behind him, sighing softly at the feel of your naked chest pressed to his. Eventually this would end, life would be set back in motion, and whatever relationship you had would have to be locked back up in your hearts.

But for now…you were free to feel whatever you wanted. To pretend that you would be able to walk out there hand in hand and face this battle together.

“You know sometimes I like to imagine that when I met you…you weren’t a Jedi.” His hand caressed your back, as if to tell you he wanted to hear more. So you continued. “We’d have met the same way, beneath a dewdrop tree. You would have called me whatever name you wanted. And we’d…” Tears slipped down your cheeks. “We’d have gotten married, lived on Corellia, possibly had a home together.”

His lips pressed to your temple, the wet feel of his tears falling against your skin. “Me too,” he whispered, his heart aching at the pain that enveloped him like a cold hug.

“We can still leave. Find a place to live and have that.”

He smiled. “Where would we go?”

The entire galaxy was about to enter a war, which meant that nowhere was safe for you to hide. Nowhere would be left alone—leaving you to fight alongside one another, yet remain planets apart.

Lifting your head, you saw his blue eyes shine with tears as he considered the same fate as you. Oh how unlucky were the two of you. Destined to fall in love, yet forced to live apart. Until time finally fell on your side.

“Promise me,” you breathed, wiping his tears. “That you’ll find me. No matter where we are. You’ll find me, like I’ll find you.”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to your palm. “Always.”

Drawing the robes back over your shoulders, you pressed yourself close to him again. Enjoying the feel of his softened cock filling you, his lips pressing against yours regularly—hands sliding along your back. Neither of you were ready to leave the safe haven of this room. Too caught up in the knowledge that this would come to an end once you did. Which is why you remained like this. Simply enjoying each other’s company—the closeness you might not get again.

He pressed kisses to every part of you he could reach, whispering how much he loved you, how he’d do everything in his power to get back to you. And you replied in kind. Telling him things that you had only dreamed of. You exposed the emotions you had kept locked up, and he welcomed them with open arms. Promising to cherish them for as long as he was alive.

A knock on the door stirred you out of your warmth, shattering the fantasy you two had created in this small space. Obi-Wan sighed, his head leaning against the wall as disdain filled his eyes. He didn’t want to don the Jedi title again; would much rather remain here with you. But that was no longer possible.

“Yes?” he called out, refusing to let you move from where you were on his lap.

Bail’s voice echoed through the door. “They’re asking for you. Both of you.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “We’re on our way.”

“I don’t want to leave,” you said when he pulled away, tucking himself back into his pants and glancing at you longingly as you laid back down.

“I can tell them you’re not awake.”

“I don’t want you to go either.”

He smiled, but it never quite reached his eyes. Rather it turned them sad and you found you hated that more than seeing him cry. “We have to do our duties to the Republic.”

Something severed in your heart, a sensation so sharp and biting it nearly made you flinch.

“I’ve been doing my duty for far longer than I should have. You don’t know the things I’ve done Obi-Wan. What they claimed was for the good of the Republic.” You could remember the horrors you went through, the pain you inflicted on people who didn’t deserve it. You weren’t doing good. You were simply acting as their pawn who had no other choice.

“I don’t care what you’ve done dewdrop.” He pressed his forehead to yours, leaning over you. “I love you no matter what.”

“You should care,” you whispered, anger building up in your chest. “Because they’ll make me do it again.”

“They—”

A louder bang against the door cut him off.

“Bail I said—”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t stall for you anymore. They’re insistent.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes shut, his heavy exhale washing across your cheeks. Before he could respond, you pushed him back into his standing position, getting up to gather your armor. Both of you knew what would happen if you didn’t go out there. The Republic's best soldiers holed up together in a room doing who knows what. You knew that alone was grounds enough to start up the conversation of what you meant to each other.

Neither of you wanted that to happen. Not when the galaxy was on the verge of being torn apart.

“Just—” You took in a breath, strapping the beskar to your body. “Don’t break our promise Obi-Wan. No matter what.”

He kissed you. Hard. Shoving every ounce of emotion he had into this small act, and effectively causing you to melt into his arms. Your hands dug into his hair as your eyes fluttered shut. You wouldn’t know when you’d get this again. A small moment away from the demands of reality. So you took what you had and ran with it. Kissing him back, you pulled him close enough to meld his very soul to yours. Until you had something of him to keep with you.

“I won’t break it,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you as the doors slid open.

Bail regarded your haphazard appearances with a small grin, but you saw the regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry my friend. I wish I could give you two more time.”

Obi-Wan merely smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “You gave us what you could. Thank you.”

You watched as Bail left—no doubt to tell them you were both on your way—before turning to Obi-Wan. “He knows?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t tell me you told him.”

He fixed the left side of your armor for you, making sure it was in the right place. “He is rather perceptive.”

You knew he was lying by the way his eyes never met yours. Yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to worry about something so small and insignificant. Especially given that you were about to be assigned somewhere not even the Jedi Order could find you. Smiling, you took his hand in yours, thumb running along his knuckles as you walked down the brightly lit hallway. If this was all you’d get, then you would squeeze as much as you could out of every second.

At least enough to satiate the coming loneliness that would plague you soon.

Sighing, he glanced at you one more time, taking in the features he’d miss most—attempting to burn them into his mind. “Shall we?”

You nodded reluctantly. “Yes.”

The chair you were sitting in was mildly uncomfortable. Enough so to keep you awake amidst the chaos that ensued around you. Obi-Wan was placed in his usual spot by Master Yoda, the battle plans spread out on the holotable, each one slightly different from the last. You lost count after the third one—focusing instead on the ache that began to spread in your side. Apparently being stabbed with a lightsaber left residual pain even bacta couldn’t fix.

“I’ll be sure to make contact with the Republic. From there I’ll begin to contact my allies; people I know who would be willing to fight with us,” Bail said, his shoulders hunched slightly forward.

The battle on Geonosis had taken a toll on all of you—slowly revealing a darker side to the Galaxy none of you knew was there.

“Will you be sending out agents?” Obi-Wan asked, his eyes flickering towards you so quick only you’d be able to notice it.

He nodded. “Who we have will be the first ones sent. They can contact allies in ways we can’t. Not to mention survey what the Separatists are planning.”

Whatever breath remained in your lungs was punched out, your situation now another battle plan on the table. You weren’t going to remain on Coruscant, or even on Alderaan. You were going who knows where to complete a mission that wasn’t a part of your fight. And you would do it without question. As you had done before.

If Obi-Wan was intent on fighting—on protecting the galaxy—you would be right there with him.

“As far as I know,” you began, shifting on the chair until you felt relief on your side. “My story still stands with Count Dooku. Jango Fett was the only one to realize.”

“And he’s dead,” Bail added.

You knew he would disagree the second you insinuated the prospect of going back to that hell hole. He wouldn’t let you walk right back into the open arms of danger. A place where he couldn’t follow this time—where he couldn’t save you. Sure enough, Obi-Wan shook his head, his eyes narrowing in your direction. Others may have seen it as a warning, but you could see the truth as easily as reading a book. He was asking you to stop; to let him take care of this for you. Because that’s all he could do.

“He might be dead, but they saw us take you. There wouldn’t be a way to show you weren’t a part of us all along,” Obi-Wan said, his hands clasped together on the table. “I suggest you go with Bail. Give the Jedi Order time to try and search Dooku out.”

“No offense Master Kenobi, but if the Order couldn’t find him before, what makes you think you’d be so great at finding him now?”

“He once was one of us.”

You shrugged. “Not anymore.”

“Right Obi-Wan is,” Yoda interjected for the first time. For a moment you forgot that he was sitting there, watching you and Obi-Wan attempt to argue your sides. “Take care of it, the Order will.”

“But—” Bail’s hand gripping your knee painfully beneath the table cut off your words. You winced slightly, clearing your throat and accepted what was bound to happen. “Of course. My apologies.”

“We’ll be reaching Coruscant soon, but I fear finding allies can not wait.” Obi-Wan leaned back in the chair, his eyes meeting yours once more. Only this time he didn’t look away. “Where is it you said you would venture?”

Bail flicked through his holopad. “Whoever is a part of the Republic, but I have people scattered through the Outer Rim.”

He nodded. “There’s no time to spare. The longer Dooku is on the run, the more we may risk the chance of losing. Master Yoda and I will go to the Jedi Council. I recommend you seek out your people.”

“Of course,” Bail responded, standing abruptly from his chair before turning to you. “You’ll be accompanying me. I suggest you say you’re…goodbyes.”

Master Yoda followed him out, the conversation seeming to continue even as the doors shut. And suddenly there you were again. Sitting in silence, alone with Obi-Wan. You tried to catch your breath as your mind processed everything that was said; the plans that had been made. Finding allies and asking them to join the Republic on the side of this war wouldn’t take months. No, it was a job that would leave you gone for years.

This was it. The last moment you’d get with him in who knows how long. Yet you couldn’t figure out what to say.

“Dewdrop—”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, tears filling your eyes.

Obi-Wan was next to you in three quick strides, crouching beside you, hands cupping your face. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But that’s the thing…I do.” One tear slid down your cheek and that was it. You could no longer hold it in—you broke, a sob clawing its way up the back of your throat. “I’m sorry for leaving that night. I should have stayed. Taken you up on your offer to run away together.”

He shook his head, his lips pressing to your forehead. “You made the right choice.”

You scoffed. “Then why does it hurt so much?”

“Choosing the right choice isn’t guaranteed to be the easy one.” His thumbs wiped the tears away. “Oftentimes it’s the hardest decision we have to make.”

“Maker you sound like a Jedi Master alright.”

He smiled, his forehead pressing to yours. “I suppose it’s a good thing I am one.”

A broken laugh filled the room, lighting up his heart in a way he would miss desperately. “Anakin’s lucky to have you in his corner.”

You stood, letting him gather you in his arms, willing time to stand still for a few minutes more. At least until you had to walk out that door, leaving him behind as you continued what you were meant for. You remember telling him when you were both younger that you wished you had a soulmate. Someone who was so connected to you, they were forever a part of your very being.

Funny how he’d always been that for you. The man tied to your very soul.

“I’m in your corner too,” he whispered, his arms tightening around you. “Whenever you need me dewdrop. I’ll find you. Just as I promised.”

You didn’t have words left to say to him, because what more could be said? What did you two have left but this? So, you tangled your hands in his hair, pulled him close and pressed your lips to his in a bruising kiss that said it all for you. You tasted the salt from the tears he shed, the pain he endured. And you took it. You gathered it in your hands, held it close, and promised to keep it safe. Forever.

He inhaled sharply, his hands grasping at whatever part of you he could find—whether or not it hurt he didn’t give a shit. He just had to feel you. Licking gently into your mouth, he smiled softly at your moan, willing his mind to sear that single sound in his memory. He’d hear it again. That he was sure of. But for now—this would have to do.

“Until we meet again?” you whispered against his lips.

Obi-Wan let out a shaky breath. “Yes,” he vowed, his hands reluctantly letting you go as you stepped away. “Until we meet again my beautiful dewdrop.”

You smiled but the light never reached your eyes. Letting his hand go, you turned back to the door. You felt like you were tearing yourself in half again, enduring a pain you never wanted to go back to. But you knew if you turned around, if you looked him in the eyes, you wouldn’t walk out of this room. You’d stay here with him.

So you took the step and headed out into the hallway, the tears falling down your face freely now. By the time you reached where Bail was you were certain that the very last part of your heart had severed itself free. Leaving you shattered all over again.

Following Bail onto his own ship you watched him set the coordinates for Alderaan, detaching the ship entirely. And for the briefest of moments you watched the ship Obi-Wan remained on grow smaller in the window. Until eventually you could no longer make out its shape, just another distant speck in the galaxy.

“I’ll find you,” you breathed, shutting your eyes the second the ship took off into hyperspace. “I promise.”

[veloursdor]

May I ask for widow wan crumbs please? 🥺👉👈

Hi nonie! Of course you can, I love Widow-Wan AU 💕

I bring you 1.2k words of Obi-Wan truly trying to be a father to the twins but failing miserably at it. 

And it hurts him.

‘Anakin should be here’, Obi-Wan thought morosely as he watched Leia play with little Ezra Bridger while Master Windu read Luke one of his favourite plays. The children were happy to be in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, surrounded by people who could spend more than a few minutes in their presence without breaking down in tears. 

Laughter was a good sound on Luke and Leia, 9 years old and so much like Anakin when they had first met that it hurt too much for him to see them for longer than a few minutes. More than that and he would only see Anakin, which wasn’t fair on his children at all.

He couldn’t stop himself from wishfully thinking that Anakin should’ve been around to witness their children’s happiness, to shower them with love and be the father he had always dreamt of being, let alone from hating the fact that he had been robbed of having a chance.

He was thankful for his friends’ and family’s continuous efforts in helping him with the children, but the knowledge that it should have been him and Anakin against the rest of the galaxy burned inside of him, rendering him useless when it came to the children more often than not. It should have been Anakin the one who taught Leia how to tinker with droids instead of Ahsoka; Anakin should have been around to teach Luke how to be the second best pilot the galaxy had ever seen.

Instead, the children had to conform with second best attempts. Obi-Wan was grateful for everything people did for them, but they weren’t Anakin, no one was, and he just couldn’t pretend as if everything was alright when it wasn’t. 

He wasn’t meant to be a single father; the plan had always been for Anakin to deliver the babies – safely inside the Halls of Healing – and for them to leave the Jedi in order to focus on their little family, away from everyone else.

But Anakin had died for Leia to live, and it had changed every plan Obi-Wan had ever made.

Obi-Wan tried his best not to let the bitterness win, but when every morning he woke up to Anakin’s side of the bed cold and empty, when every time one of the twins did something marvellous and he turned around to share it with Anakin only to remember that Anakin was gone… it was harder to pretend that sometimes he wished Anakin hadn’t done what he did.

He loved Leia, tried his hardest to show her that he loved her with the part of his heart that didn’t belong to Anakin. But it was especially hard the older she grew and her attitude started to resemble the father that she would never know. Her temper, her fire… it was so much like Anakin, Obi-Wan could barely stand to be in her presence for more than a few minutes, sometimes even hours, before he was reminded of the young boy his beloved had been when they had first met.

She looked nothing like Anakin – Luke was the one who had been blessed with his beauty – but the fire that had lived inside of Anakin resided now in Leia, making it hard for Obi-Wan not to blurt out Anakin’s name when he managed to talk with her for more than a few minutes.

The twins were all the good that Anakin had in him, his beauty and his strength, his love of mischief and his desire to help. Everything that made the twins them had belonged to Anakin first… and Obi-Wan struggled more often than not to see his kids for who they were instead of who they reminded him of.

Leia had Anakin’s temper, but where Anakin had struggled to rein his fury, Leia had started to master the art of diplomacy. He was filled with sadness every time Leia managed to breathe through her anger and address the issues with a cool head, as it reminded him of the times when Anakin would throw a tantrum if negotiations ran longer than expected. 

Luke was Anakin to the dot, with his blonde hair and piercing blue eyes; but where his beloved Anakin’s eyes had burned with the inner conflict of his loyalties torn apart, Luke was serene and calm, perfectly content with following the Jedi tenants. He never questioned or raged against them, making it so that Obi-Wan couldn’t be in the room if Luke was to be praised by the Council.

The Council had never been kind to Anakin in the first place.

“Dad!” Luke’s voice broke through his sad thoughts as a small figure crashed into his side, earning a huff from him. “Master Mace was telling me about this new play he heard about! It’s about a donkey who…”

“Luke, you should be…” he cut himself off at the hopeful look in the child’s eyes, so similar to Anakin’s when he had first arrived at the temple that his heart squeezed at the sight of them. Luke was part of Anakin, and for that alone Obi-Wan loved him completely.

It was just hard to prove it when Anakin wasn’t there to share parenthood with him.

“Tell me all about this play, Luke,” Obi-Wan placed Luke on his lap, hugging the boy close to him. Luke lit up in his embrace, twisting his heart once more at the reminder of his failure at being a proper parent to the children.

Yet his grief was too strong to actually make him change his ways.

“It’s the story of a donkey, a dog, a cat, and a chicken who decide to leave their masters and become musicians in the big city! Master Mace was showing me the songs and they…” Luke was interrupted by Leia’s stomping. A frown was on her face, and her arms were crossed above her chest.

It looked so similar to Anakin’s pouts as a child that Obi-Wan had to look away from her if he didn’t want to cry in the middle of the room with every Jedi present staring at him in pity.

“Why don’t you join us, my dear?” Obi-Wan asked with a knot on his throat as Leia climbed on his lap and pushed Luke slightly to the side, so the both of them could be in his arms.

His heart was breaking itself into pieces as Luke continued his story, Leia agreeing softly with him while pressing herself closer to his chest. Obi-Wan could barely hear what the children were saying, the pressure in his heart was enough to make his ears ring painfully.

Mace, sensing his distress, came to his rescue when Obi-Wan needed him the most.

“Children, it’s time to practise our katas.”

“But… Dad…”

“Come on now, children, listen to Master Mace,” Obi-Wan said with a knot on his throat, “I’ll join you shortly. I have to… discuss something with Master Yoda.”

“But… Dad, we were…”

Obi-Wan ignored their plights as he set them on the grass in front of him and stood in a hurry, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill and make a spectacle of himself. After nodding to Mace, Obi-Wan made a swift exit out of the room, the tears and sobs inside of him finally leaving him as soon as he crossed the doors.

Had he been less busy burying himself in his grief, he would’ve noticed the broken hearted expressions in his children’s faces, begging for their dad to come back to them.

[ranger-jedi-knight]

Writing Patterns Tag Game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @itstimeforstarwars

1) Found A New Padawan

THE BEGINNING:

A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.......

2) Unending Pressures (9-1-1 TV show)

Buck smiled as he listened to Eliza chat excitedly on his shoulders about what she learned in school.

3) In Another Life

Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin as the boy walked into their room with a smile.

4) Standing Firm (9-1-1 TV Show)

The hustle and bustle of the ER surrounded the group as they waited for an update on Buck’s condition.

5) The Protective Group Chat (AKA FANP Group Chat fic)

Feral @CmmderWolffe

I have only known her for a day, but if anything happened to her I would literally kill everyone in this chat and then myself. And I know my General agree

6) From The Shadows

Creeping up on her companion, the 25-year-old Stewjoni pulled out her sword.

7) Song Of The People

Yavin 2 was a dismal place.

8) All For One And One For All (Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous show)

Disembarking from the ferry, five teens looked at each other as they fiddled with their pockets, or in one girl’s case, fiddling with her phone.

9) We’re Here For A Reason (Camp Cretaceous n Clone Wars cross over)

The ship shook under their feet and Ikoe could only yelp in shock when she almost fell over

10) Coming Undone

Ikoe pulled her hood further over her head as she walked out of the marketplace toward the ship she had scavenged with Hevy, Wooley, and Blue's help.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what the pattern is LMFAO. Like half are pleasant/happy/neutral while the other half seem to be kinda angsty. Literally two start with someone smiling lol. Though the fic starting with ‘Yavin 2 was a dismal place’ is somehow the funniest line to me in the list. But in general, I seem to try using the first line as a way to set the tone of the fic by either what they’re doing or what it looks like in number 7’s case which is interestin since some of these were started either 2022 or for my Found a Padawan earlier. So it’s good to know this is how I’ve been starting my fics for awhile.

Ok tagging!

@housewifebuck @devirnis @mochinek0 @yukipri @silverwhiteraven @nobodyfamousposts and anyone else that wants to!

[exonerin]

hello, hello! [said in the roger, roger droid voice]

about the fanfic writers: director's cut - i have some questions about eight of cups that i would love to pick your brain about! let me preface by saying i LOVED it, it was absolutely brilliant and such a blast to read.

about the formatting/titling for the chapters - do you dabble with tarot at all irl? i'm not super knowledgable about any of but just thought it was neat!

what made you portray the relationship between qui gon and obi-wan the way that you did? there's no right/wrong interpretation but i think it's more common to see them portrayed as a harmonious master/padawan relationship so it makes me curious!

personally i loved the divergence, and it obviously made for great contrast between the qui gon and obi-wan relationship vs the obi-wan and anakin relationship.

did you have any thoughts/visions/ideas of what happens with count dooku and qui gon after the last chapter? if so could you share? i'm so curious as to how that would pan out. would dooku eventually come around and realize palpatine is not the vibe???

were there any deleted scenes that you loved but just couldn't fit into the final cut of the story?

lastly: here's a ⭐ star ⭐ for you!!! go wild and talk about anything you like now [freestyle rap noises] i hope you're having a good day :D ❄️

Thank you so much for the questions! I love rambling about my fics.

Question 1: Do I dabble in tarot?

Unfortunately, I don't.

Since Qui-Gon plays a big role in this fic, I wanted to exploit the prophecies theme. Because that's mostly what this fic is about, failing to meet (un)realistic expectations based on misconceptions or preconceptions.

The working title for this fic was Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, which I disliked immensely. But I couldn't just borrow a tarot card for the title and never reference this again.

So, I introduced the chapter and section titles with meanings, which meant curating a list and picking carefully because I didn't want any doubles. Plus, they had to make sense. I loved looking into the tarot cards and admiring beautiful decks, though!

Question 2: Why are Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at odds?

I rewatched the Phantom Menace for this fic, so I have an idea of how much creative liberties I have taken with my rendition of Qui-Gon. You could interpret Qui-Gon's actions either in favor of him or as strikes against his personality. I love Qui-Gon, but his kindness can easily be turned into something superficial.

Does he care about Anakin as a person, or is Anakin a new project that will win him the science fair?

But most importantly, I can compare his interactions with Anakin to the ones with Obi-Wan. And it's wildly unfair! Of course, Qui-Gon would treat a nine-year-old differently from a twenty-five-year-old, but yeah…

(it served my narrative very well and my prompt, too. I could have fulfilled that prompt without resorting to a strained relationship, but it helped).

Question 3: What about Qui-Gon and Dooku?

Let's rewind a bit to before Palps meets his end:

For a while now, Qui-Gon has chased after Dooku. They used to share a training bond, so Qui-Gon uses that as a wayfinder. To Dooku's immense irritation, Qui-Gon is persistent and dauntless enough to go to Serenno, undisguised. The battle in Dooku's rose garden is not pretty and involves many battle droids.

Any attempts to chase him away only work temporarily.

Worse is that Qui-Gon is chatty and curious -- too curious for his own good. However, this is hardly bad news compared to Dooku's… reluctant amusement, which is not an appropriate response to one's former Padawan tearing up the rose gardens. He had believed he had lost Qui-Gon, after all.

And it's easy to imagine how this could be different, a truce or a friendship. Although Dooku is surrounded by people happy to please him, he's lonely, and Qui-Gon would never take on a subservient role. He's an equal -- the only one who will understand him. Dooku sends the battle droids away from the castle to keep his home intact. Of course, his insolent former Padawan sees this as an invitation to join him for tea under the gazebo while Dooku is working on highly confidential reports.

A lightsaber only chases Qui-Gon away for a few weeks. Eventually, Qui-Gon wears Dooku down, who just accepts his presence -- though he certainly does not enjoy it. He does, but he will never confess that.

The presence of a Jedi on Serenno becomes the source of gossip amongst the Separatist planets. And it causes confusion, too. Will Serenno change its allegiance after serving as a cornerstone in the Separatist movement? Losing Serenno would be a fatal blow to the Separatists.

Eventually, these rumors reach Darth Sidious, who has already heard of Qui-Gon's return. And he may be nasty, but he's no fool. He gives Dooku one order: kill Qui-Gon, or I will do it myself.

And that's definitely not a vibe for Dooku. At this stage, Dooku is resigned to his fate; he's another pathetic creature Qui-Gon has picked up. So, he does what anyone in his position would do: he ignores the order.

Darth Sidious realizes Dooku has become a liability. Someone as stuck in his ways and arrogant as Dooku will never return to the Light side, but his newfound acquaintance with Qui-Gon will twist Dooku's loyalties.

Ideally, he would dispose of both of them in such a way the flames of war are stoked higher.

And Darth Sidious is good at scheming. He's flexible, and his plans can adapt.

So, he doesn't expect to be beheaded by a red lightsaber. Maybe kidnapping Qui-Gon and storing him in carbonite until Dooku came to retrieve him wasn't his brightest idea.

Dooku releases Qui-Gon from the carbonite, who's relieved he didn't die again, somewhat convinced he's actually in the afterlife, and very cold. So, Dooku gives him his cape -- begrudgingly. Extremely begrudgingly, he wraps Qui-Gon in his cape while the other assures him that this is unnecessary. But Qui-Gon does not protest too loudly.

Since they've killed the Chancellor, they're in a pinch of trouble. While Dooku arranges transport off-world before someone can try to arrest them, Qui-Gon escapes to collect some items from the Temple. Dooku says he hopes Qui-Gon stays there -- this is a lie.

They return to Serenno. When the weather is nice, you can find them in the ravaged rose garden drinking tea. Dooku did not demand his cape back. They're neither Jedi nor Sith, but the exact term is irrelevant.

Since the Separatists don't know whether they want to ally themselves with people who just waltzed into the Chancellor's office and murdered him, they quietly distance themselves from Serenno. Meanwhile, the Republic futile tries to convince the Jedi Order to arrest Dooku and Qui-Gon. Although Master Yoda plays holo chess with Qui-Gon every Friday afternoon, Master Yoda insists he has no idea where Qui-Gon is. Eventually, the Republic relents, worn down by Jedi mysticism.

Question 4: Were there any deleted scenes I couldn't fit into the story?

I have to admit, I no longer have the draft files for this fic. But there were plenty of deleted scenes. There's one in particular where the trio is waiting for a holo call on the Star Destroyer. And when a clone wants to pass behind Anakin, Obi-Wan nudges him out of the way gently. And Anakin continued talking, which creates the suggestion this is common for them. And Qui-Gon frowns disapprovingly at this display. Anakin is already on the defensive and purposefully blocks the way, so Obi-Wan guides him away again. Just to provoke Qui-Gon -- and because it's very nice.

Question 5: My star

Don't download the AO3 pdf unless you want to see what I did when I downloaded that file. It's horrifying enough it prompted me to typeset an actual pdf in overleaf, which was a lot of fun to do.

But the AO3 pdf is... a nightmare.

[wwinterwitch]

I would love some more obi wan content 🥺🥺 I loved impossible and I love angst but could we possibly get a first kiss or something along the lines of “giving into their feelings” that would be chefs kiss. ❤️

omg yes I love this!! Hope you like what I had in mind and thank you for your request!!

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING - OBI-WAN KENOBI

summary: you and obi-wan realize the code isn't everything, and other things matter much more

pairing: obi-wan x gn!jedi!reader, obi-wan x satine kryze (mentioned), ahsoka tano x gn!jedi!reader (friendship)

word count: 2.1K

warnings: angst(?), age difference (reader is 18+), fluff, confessing feelings, breaking the jedi code

a reblog is very much appreciated!

masterlist

Acting like absolutely nothing was going on has become a day-to-day thing for you at this point. You always had to pretend you didn't stare at Obi-Wan longer than usual, or get overly excited when you had missions together. You always had to make it look as if you didn't care so much about him, which was hard to do when you're surrounded by force-sensitive beings all day.

However, sometimes you allowed yourself to lose control. To imagine what could it be if you didn't have to pretend. If Obi-Wan also stared back at you for longer than usual, or if he intentionally picked you to help on his missions as a poor excuse to be around you.

And maybe as you drift into these little fantasies of yours, your head is allowing you to think all the wrong sorts of things. Your senses make you feel and see things that aren't really there...but you couldn't help it. You've seen the way Obi-Wan looks at you, the way he talks to you. It's as if he cares just as much as you do.

Maybe, just maybe, you're not the only one pretending.

The uncertainty of your current something-ship with the Jedi Mater was all you could think of, debating whether or not you should ask if he's feeling the same way, or forever keep your feelings to yourself. Whatever path you decided to follow, risks would be taken. You risk getting rejected and even lectured for your feelings for him, or you risk never obtaining true happiness.

Despite always acting like nothing was happening, sometimes it was hard to just forget all about it and focus on your Jedi duties. It's not that simple. How could it be with Obi-Wan close to you every single day, treating you so nicely and delicately, giving you all these signals you didn't really know if they are actual signals or not.

The two of you have made a promise to something much bigger than yourselves. Something that worth more than any feeling Obi-Wan might provoke within you. The Jedi Code forbids ever having a relationship with him. Attachments are forbidden, as they mean danger to those who ever allow something or someone become a priority. Something that isn't the duties they're sworn to do.

You had just returned from a mission. It was just you and your troops somewhere in the galaxy, far away from Obi-Wan. Now that you're back at the Jedi Temple, even when it might sound otherwise, it didn't mean any less work. There was still a war out there and you were one of the people in charge to make sure the Republic wins. You instructed your troopers to help Anakin and Rex take down a Separatist insurgence in a nearby system, your Commander sending daily reports in case they ever needed backup or inform new developments. In the meantime, you offered to help Ahsoka training the younglings.

Obi-Wan has been in a lot of Council meetings since you arrived and you've been too busy with training. Though no amount of distractions could make you forget about him. The fact that he was so close, yet so far away made you feel miserable.

Despite feeling this way for quite a bit, you still can't bring yourself to talk about this with him.

And of course you weren't aware that he hasn't been particularly unbothered by all of this either. If you were, you wouldn't be torturing yourself with so many "what if's". He has been trying to find the right time and the right words to tell you everything that's been locked away in his heart, mind and soul. Maybe being back in a place he considers his home, far away from the battlefield, boosted his confidence just enough to consider taking the first step, though he was still very conflicted about all of this.

He knew this would be difficult but he didn't expect it to be that hard. Confessing his feelings will undoubtedly change everything between the two of you and even when he wanted that change, he was afraid of what would follow. Afraid and embarrassed, as he couldn't believe he's breaking so many rules. However, the thought of you was more than enough to make him feel much better about disobeying. You are enough, you are everything that matters.

Attachments were supposed to be forbidden, and yet all he can think about during those endless meetings is you. He was a little too into this, so he might as well do something about it already. Perhaps you won't be a distraction as he has learned during all his years being a Jedi. Perhaps you'll be his biggest strength. How was he supposed to know if he never gave it a try?

But Obi-Wan was very nervous. He was so incredibly on edge over a crush on someone. Could he even blame himself? It's not like he has done this before. Yes, he was with Satine many years ago, but things with her were entirely different. They just happened. He never had to talk about his feelings because he never thought he was ready to take that extra step and there was no need for that sort of commitment. Now that he wants to open up, he doesn't know how to.

And he had no one to help him. Asking Anakin for advice was definitely not an option because he was out on a mission and telling his best friend these sort of problems was...profoundly mortifying.

--

"I hope you don't mind me asking Master, but why haven't you decided to teach a Padawan?"

You turned to look at Ahsoka as the two of you walked, the hall completely deserted and illuminated by the heavy chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Outside, the moon brightens the Coruscant sky. You finished training with the younglings a few hours ago and decided to eat something before going back to your rooms.

"The thought has crossed my mind a few times, but the Council decided it was best for me to wait given I've just recently took the trials," she replied. "They don't think I'm ready to teach someone just yet."

"The Council is mistaken, then. You've helped me so much with my training."

"It's not the same. The bond between a Padawan and their Master is very deep and it has a huge impact on how the learner is shaped. I've noticed many things about Master Plo that stuck with me during the years, and I'm sure you've noticed a few of Anakin's traits reflecting on the way you behave. I guess they are afraid I won't be able to handle such responsibility."

"But they should at least give you a chance!" Ahsoka insisted, looking very surprised to hear you weren't allowed to teach anyone. "It's not fair."

"Well, I'm glad they at allowed me to become a Jedi Knight. I believe I have lots of time to learn more things that I will eventually share with my future Padawan," you replied in a calmed voice, hopefully transmitting some of your tranquillity to the younger girl walking next to you. "Besides, having you around to teach once in a while is more than enough to me."

Ahsoka smiled at your kind words, allowing you to wrap an arm around her affectionately as the two of you continued walking. She has learned many things thanks to you and have even received many great advices from Obi-Wan. She is very grateful and honoured to have such great people as mentors and friends.

After saying goodbye to each other, the two of you walked on different directions to head back to your respective rooms, knowing you had to wake up early tomorrow for another training session with the younglings.

You were in your room for only a few minutes until someone knocked on the door. When you opened it, you weren't expecting to meet Obi-Wan standing on the other side. Not like you would expect anyone to visit you this late, but seeing him surely was surprising. You could tell even he was confused as to why he's there and you could easily feel how troubled he was.

"Hello," you started, still awfully confused. "Did something happen?"

"No– well, yes. It's uh, complicated," was his very poor attempt to reply, mentally cursing himself for his clumsiness. He's not usually like this. "I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Sure," you reply with a smile, trying to make the situation less awkward. "You can come in...if you like."

He considered it for a second before finally accepting, stepping inside your room as you closed the door behind him, still having absolutely no idea what would be so important that he needed to come here to your room when he could easily tell you all about it tomorrow. An idea crossed your mind but you quickly dismissed it, not wanting to get any unrealistic ideas inside your head. He couldn't possibly be here to–

"I apologize for coming here so late but I don't think this could wait until tomorrow," he blurted out suddenly as you're turning around to face him. You suspected not even Obi-Wan was quite able to process that sentence leaving his mouth, looking rather lost. "It's been far too long."

"I...I'm afraid I don't understand," you say, uncertain.

"Well, it's about...us," he started, taking you by complete surprise. "I've been thinking about this for a very long time and after taking some things in consideration, I've realized I've liked you for quite some time. I've tried to push these feelings away but the more I try to ignore them, I'm afraid the stronger they get."

Is this a dream? Or a joke? Or both? You really couldn't believe this is happening. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi going against the Code to confess his feelings for you? It sounded unreal.

You were speechless. Absolutely speechless. You probably looked so shocked that Obi-Wan immediately interpreted your expression as a bad sign, not knowing how to continue his confession anymore. He's probably about to pour his heart out and be rejected.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in an uncomfortable position," he quickly added. "I perfectly understand if you–"

"No, no. It's fine. I just never thought I'd hear you say something like this. I thought our Code was more important."

"I thought that too," he agreed, pausing for a few seconds. He took a few steps closer to you timidly, hyper aware of what he was doing, fearing you would step back any minute. However, you didn't. If anything, you looked like you were enjoying standing so close to him.

Obi-Wan took one of your hands in his own, staring back into your eyes with such intensity and such appreciation, you felt like you were the only thing that existed in that room– in the entire galaxy even. "But now I know the most important thing to me is you."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, the affection evident in his tone. The sight of your smile allowed him to relax just slightly, still not letting go of your hand.

"I...I don't know what to say," you eventually say.

"Hopefully that's a good thing."

The comment made you giggle. "It is."

Just then, he let go of your hand and moved his up to the side of your face. "You're lovely," he confesses barely above a whisper.

You felt a shiver go up and down your body and you didn't know if it was for the way he said that or because how close he was. Your reaction to his touch and proximity only encouraged him further, leaning his head same time as you did, your lips meeting halfway.

Kissing him felt far better than you would've ever imagined, something quite impossible to believe could be true. Neither of you had much practice, but you didn't care. Not only because of how inexperienced you are, not really having much else to compare it to, but because the longing for each other was far more important to care about such insignificant detail right now.

Both of his arms found their way around your waist to pull you even closer to him as you allowed yourself to completely give into him. His kiss was gentle, yet passionate, keeping his usual composure but not caring to let you know just how much he has been wanting this. One of your hands moved up to his hair and your fingers tangled in it, gesture he seemed to like as he kissed you more eagerly.

Neither of you let go of after the kiss ended, far too comfortable being in each other's arms. The life force around Obi-Wan was intoxicating, radiant and vibrant. No doubt he could feel your own as intensely as you are perceiving his.

At that moment, you swore you've never been happier.

[book-place]

Light at the End

Warnings: Obi-Wan series spoilers, selling spices, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Obi-Wan x reader platonic

Request: Requests for platonic relationships in Obi Wan. How bout that random drug dealer girl who helped him out and him. Maybe after all the stuff concludes with Leia he goes back and helps get her out of whatever situation she is in because 'she was someone's daughter once too' and Obi Wan just can't sleep at night without trying to help her if she wants it.

Request by: @reveriewriting

*not my gif*

Summary: After resolving everything with Luke and Leia, Obi-Wan had one thing left to take care of

A/N: This one was written very late at night, but it might not be half bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

“I was someone’s daughter once too.”

Those words had been bouncing around in Obi-Wan's head ever since you had spoken them to him.

They were words that he could not stop thinking about. Words that would not leave his head, no matter how hard he tried to forget them.

It left him wondering just how many other people out there were in the same position Leia had been in, that had been ripped away from their families and forced into a life they never wanted with no way back to the lives they used to know and have.

Nobody was there to help any of those kids like he had been there to help Leia.

He supposed that’s why he found himself on a transport ship back to Daiyu, the place that he had practically just been running as fast as he could away from.

After he had brought Leia back to her family and met Luke, he didn’t really know what to do with himself.

He had made the mistake of inserting himself back into the galaxy by going on that rescue mission, and there was way too much pain and suffering for him to just let go and ignore.

Maybe it was to give himself peace of mind, to know that one less person was in a situation like that. Or maybe it was to distract himself from what he had done to Anak- Vader… to Darth Vader.

But all he knew was that he couldn’t sleep at night ever since you had said those six words to him. And it was driving him insane.

He also knew that the odds of ever finding you in a city of that size and population again were as close to none as they could get. He never liked being told the odds, though.

As he roamed the crowded streets, swerving around people, his eyes sharply scanned all of the area around him, looking out for any sign of you.

His steps began to slow as he came upon the place that he had first met you, and took a minute to catch his breath after the nonstop walking he had done after getting off the ship.

Subconsciously, his eyes widened as he looked a few feet to his right and his gaze locked on two people conversing back and forth.

Some man in his early twenties and you.

All he could do was stand in shock of the sight of actually seeing you again as you handed the man a vial of red spice before said man scurried off.

He continued to watch as you pocketed the credits and began scanning the area surrounding you, most likely looking for a new potential customer.

Your eyes widened as well though, when you looked to the side and caught sight of a man you had seen days ago, Obi-wan- not that you even knew his name.

You were even more shocked as his feet began to move in a direction- your direction.

“What are you doing?” You hissed once he was in hearing distance, “Listen, man, I can’t give you anymore free spice. My employer wasn’t too happy last time.”

You shivered slightly at the memory of him finding one less product and not enough money to cover it.

“What?” The man asked in confusion, “I’m not here for anymore spice.”

This made you deflate a little and your eyes turned apologetic, remembering the circumstances that you had actually met him in the first time, “You still haven’t found your daughter, have you?”

“I have.”

A wave of emotions hit you at once. Relief, surprise, down right shock, and a little bit of happiness were all mixed into it.

“Oh.” You breathed out, “That’s good, then.” Then you came to a realization, “But if you have your daughter and you’re not here for more spice… then what are you here for?”

You watched as his eyes darted around from side to side, as if worried that someone would be over hearing your conversation.

Normally, this would have put you on edge, and you would have been ready to run at the first sign of real danger, but something about that man made you feel calm and not at risk.

“Do you remember what you told me when you helped me out?” He asked hurriedly, not bothering to answer your question.

“What?” Your eyebrows furrowed, “If I’m being completely honest, not really-“

“You told me that you were someone’s daughter once too. That’s why you felt inclined to help me.” He explained, beginning to tap his foot nervously, as if waiting for something to happen.

“So?”

“So I couldn’t stop thinking about that.” He appeared to have calmed down a bit when nobody seemed to be suspicious of the two of you, “I want to help you get out of here.”

“Get me out of-“ You cut yourself short in time to stop your voice from escalating to a yell, “Are you out of your mind?”

“I won’t help you if you don’t feel that you want or need my help.” He tried to explain calmly, putting his hands up almost in a reassuring way.

Your eyes flickered down to the ground, a brief look of defeat crossing your features, “Even if you could get me out of this place, I have nowhere to go.” You told him softly, tone calming down a lot more than before.

The man seemed to consider this for a minute, “Have you ever been to Tatooine?”

You eyed him warily, “That’s a desert planet, right?”

He nodded, “I am actually living there right now, and if you accept my offer to help you then you are more than welcome to live with me until you can provide for yourself.”

You could hardly believe your own ears. A person was offering to help you. There was a way to get out of this life after all, your very own light at the end of the tunnel.

“You really mean that?” You asked him.

“Of course.” He didn’t even hesitate.

A slow grin spread across your face, “Tatooine might just end up being the perfect destination for me.”

Padawans 🧡- @spidyyparker @fabulousapple @femalemarvelself

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine “Star Wars” special edition: history.

Imagine you finally become Queen, but you refuse to get married.. because you are in love with your childhood best friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight.

Warnings 1: this is based on the love story of Elizabeth I of England and Robert Dudley, so “you”/“reader” will have the queen’s redhair (but the rest you are free to imagine the way you like) because of reasons.

Warnings 2: smut and LOTS of drama. But fluffy ending because so.

Warnings 3: not recommended for minors; etc etc.

Recommendations: “Do I Wanna Know” by Arctic Monkeys; “Our Song” by Niall Horan and Anne-Marie.

***

Intro

Obi-Wan’s eyes follow your long redhair falling loose in your back as you enter Westminster Abbey in a long procession. He too takes part of it, an unusual role attributed to a Master Jedi—but one you’d not take his refusal, given the importance he has in your life, always had.

As he walks behind you, side by side with other noblemen and clergymen, he cannot help but smile at you proudly. A long road led you there and nothing makes him happier than seeing every obstacle won over by you, your wit and your faith. Not only faith in the Maker but in yourself too.

Obi-Wan is careful to deliver a sacred oil to the bishop who is to crown you. There is a moment, however brief that might be, where your y/c eyes meet his blue ones. There is mutual understanding between you two. Some sort of secrecy that only lovers do as the gaze lingers. A short display of intimacy that no one knows but him and you.

He bows formally before going back to his place. By his side, his Padawan Anakin Skywalker watches everything with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

“Couldn’t you be any less obvious?”

“Uh?” Obi-Wan is distracted from the mystical ceremony that enhances your divine aspect of being the queen of this realm by Anakin’s remark. “What are you talking about, Anakin?”

“I saw how you looked at Y/N. It’s crystal clear to me that you are besotted with each other.”

Oh Maker. Blessed was the day I took my sister’s son under my wig.

He gives a look at Anakin, somehow contemplating how he is a paternal figure to the younger one. It becomes clear the struggle to keep himself composed.

“Shush, Anakin. This is not the place nor the time.”

So his eyes are drawn back at you, watching you profess your vows before the clergymen finally acknowledge you as Queen of England. And suddenly, it is with great satisfaction that Obi-Wan joins the choir of people:

“God saved the Queen! Long live the Queen!”

And your rule finally begins…

***

Twelve years earlier.

You were no more than a child blossoming into womanhood at the age of thirteen living at the north of the country, far from your father’s court. Surrounded by your ladies and other members of your household, you, however, never felt so lonely.

Your mother had been executed for treason following the orders of your father when you were no more than three years old. You’ve had, as a result, few recollections about her. It did sadden you to see how her name had become dust in people’s mouth. But eventually you’ve managed to deal with that—though you had a good maid who looked after you and took the maternal role you desperately needed as you grew up.

Your father, the ruling king, often lived in his own household, distant from you. You cultivated ambiguous sentiments towards him: you wanted his attention at the same time you despised him for being so…unwanted in his care for you. Your childhood, although privileged in many ways, was far from a happy one.

Nonetheless, you had this good friend that was always by your side. The ginger young man who possessed such blue eyes was named Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was placed in this household to look after you and to be instructed with you in the many arts of knowledge by his older Master Qui-Gon Jinn until he was ready to profess his vows to the knightly Order Jedi.

“What are these vows about?” You once asked him about it as you two strolled around the gardens.

Obi-Wan was holding your arm into his as he said:

“Not forming attachments is one rule”, he was beginning to tell you when he was interrupted.

“What?! That is impossible!” You protested, making him laugh. “Does this mean you ought to live like a monk?”

“Not like a monk, Y/nickname, no.” He laughed louder. You found out that particular day that you loved to make him laugh, often finding him so serious for a young man. “The attachment rule does not forbid us of interacting with other people neither prevent us engaging socially. It is not meant to isolate us. The whole purpose is to prevent suffering.”

You tilted your head. Obi-Wan seemed to have noticed suddenly you were a girl. The observation earned him a subtle blush. How obvious, he thought, and what a perception!

“What does this mean? That attachment leads to a misery life?” You inquired curiously.

“Yes. Because it leads to suffering if one isn’t careful enough. We have to overpower our emotions so they do not control us.”

“You should teach me a trick of keeping myself composed.” You smiled at him. “Do you think you could do that?”

“My dear Y/N, I am not a Master yet, though I aim to be one someday. I am a Padawan and so far what I am fairly good is at martial arts, that is, in military matters.”

Obi-Wan could tell from how your lips were opening in another smile, and by the glint of mischief in your eyes, that a teasing was about to roll out of your tongue. He couldn’t be any more right.

“For a peacekeeper, you are quite a soldier, Obi.”

“To keep the peace, one must be prepared for war.” He defended himself.

“See? That’s why we are friends.” You gripped a little tighter his arm as your eyes lingered a little too much in his blue eyes. Obi-Wan sensed the swift change in the nature of your friendship. But he wouldn’t do anything about that.

**

Later that day, Obi-Wan was meant to ensure the household of Lady Y/N was secure and send reports to his Master who was located at her father’s household under disguise—apparently, the disturbance in the Force was sensed in the capital.

But he was distracted from his duty from the moment you were at the grand salon of your household in your dancing lessons. Obi-Wan’s eyes followed your moves as you were adequately dressed for the occasion. You’d never miss the opportunity to show off your red hair and your blossoming beauty to him.

It was when you captured his eyes right at you.

Oh.

Both of you blushed and awkwardly parted the gaze with the typical adolescent despair of getting caught in what was meant to be a secret where neither part should know.

However, as you slowly began to look at each other once more, as you smiled at each other, there seemed to be noticed a new hope: could my feelings be reciprocated? A question that would take years to be answered, though.

**

You were laying on the grass with Obi-Wan under cloudless skies in an atypical winter day, unusually warm.

“What else can you tell me about this Order you are about to make your vows?”

Obi-Wan told you about the Force, how it flows and how it should always remain in balance. You heard him attentively, enjoying his excitement in sharing his passion for the Jedis. You could tell he was devoted to it… Though some part of you selfishly wished he was devoted to you.

You blushed and swept away such thought. Thankfully, Obi-Wan didn’t notice what had just happened.

But the peace you were enjoying was about to slip through your fingertips. A former lady in waiting to your mother who was currently looking after you came to you. She had turned a blind eye for the growing affection that resulted from your friendship with the soon-to-be Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“My lady Y/N…” her voice brought you back to your world, where not always would gravitate around your best friend. “You are required to the court. We must leave soon.”

You stood and Obi-Wan helped you.

“Has my Master contacted you, my lady?” He asks her, concerned. How atypical of Qui-Gon if he had done so.

“No, my lord.” Lady H/N told him so. “I haven’t heard of him if not by yourself.”

Obi-Wan nodded before sharing a look with you: what was the emergency that required your presence at court after years away from it?

I have a bad feeling about this.

***

Two years later, 1549.

You were not taking the news well. Obi-Wan knew you enough to see that. Your breathing became imperceptible, the anxiety was seen by how you buried your fingers in your palm. Your chest was heavy.

“You cannot leave me here, Obi-Wan.” You said, turning abruptly at him.

You had been living by yourself again. Your father had died, you were sent to live with your stepmother but now she died too following a plague that separated you from her. You were orphaned and though your sister insisted to have you live with her, you hesitated. Your brother, the new king, also wanted to be close to you. As much as you loved him, you didn’t want to live at court. You didn’t belong there.

Now, Obi-Wan, your best friend, was summoned back to his Master because there was another mission before Obi-Wan had his trials to be at long last knighted Jedi.

“You can’t go.”

He hated to see you devastated like this, specially aware of the instability of your situation. He was also afraid he might lose you to an arranged marriage in his absence, but duties must always come before the desires of heart.

“I’m sorry, Y/Nickname.” He took your hand and held it tenderly. “I’m not doing so willingly, but…”

“But you have to. Duties come first.” You scorned at him, even though that was a feeling you were familiar with… as much as you detested it. “You are leaving me for good.”

“You hurt me for assuming it so.” Obi-Wan said, upset. “When have I failed you, Y/N?”

You blinked away a few tears. Your pride left you the moment his words knocked your heart out.

“You are right. I’m sorry, Obi.” You swallowed your sob. “I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re the only one I trust. I feel exposed to danger without you here.”

Though moved by the sincerity of your words, Obi-Wan struggled against the attachment these inspired him. He had to be strong. So he looked away.

“You are stronger than you know, Y/N. Believe me when I say that.” He turned his gaze at you. “We’ll meet again. I assure you.”

Obi-Wan was the only one to see you in such a state of brokenness. The few times he’d seen you like this was when your father died and your stepmother followed him to the grave a year later. In both situations he was there for you, present like always, offering you comfort, becoming the solace you needed.

Now, what will be of you two?

“You must go.” You sniffed and removed your hand out of his. Obi-Wan never felt so cold. You built a mask, the one he saw you wore at court and at others. His heart broke.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“Just go!” You commanded him.

He sighed. But even finding resistance in you, the result of a broken pride, he leant forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek.

“I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

And when he left, you broke down. You’ve never felt so lonely in your life as you were now.

**

A scandal at court involved your name where apparently a nobleman of your brother’s court sought to marry you without his and his council’s approval. You were terrified when this came to your knowledge not only because you had a reputation to zeal but also because this was untrue.

You had to prove your innocence in a series of battles that would demand much of your wit and perseverance. But you were not the only one to face such trials.

Obi-Wan too was occupied with his own challenges to overcome. For a start, he went in a mission with his Master and right before his eyes he saw Qui-Gon Jinn murdered by an agent of the dark forces named Darth Maul. He went to chase the evil creature and battled his enemy until Maul was killed. Or so he thought.

When he came back to his region, Coruscant, Obi-Wan was contacted by his sister, H/N. He barely had time to grief his master when he was told that her son, his nephew, had a great deal of Force. So here he was. As a now Knighted Jedi, he had to look after little Anakin.

“Looks like it’s you and I, kiddo.”

All of this happened in the space of two years. Obi-Wan never forgot you. How could he after basically growing up by your side, studying with you and developing a deep affection for his best friend? He was haunted by the day he left you. Would you forgive him?

Plagued by such thoughts, experiencing an anguish that didn’t cease to torment him, Obi-Wan at great cost managed to hold it back by meditating—intensifying its exercises at least thrice a day. But even so, when he dreamed…

His dreams often led him to you. Most recently, he saw you were imprisoned at the Tower, a place where in the past used to be a royal residence to your ancestors but that now was reserved for prisoners. Obi-Wan was troubled by your tears, fearful for your life. You paced anxiously at your cell, wondering whether you’d face the same fate your mother did.

“I’ve never meant to rebel against her!” He presumed you were talking about your older sister. But how on earth did your sister H/N succeed your brother…?

Oh.

Obi-Wan furrowed his brows. How much had changed ever since he departed that realm. When seeing the distress in your face, the Jedi Knight couldn’t ignore the sentiment that impelled him going back to you.

So he did. Though it took some months, but when he came for you, you were thankfully not imprisoned anymore. Well, not in theory: you were under a different prison, certainly more comfortable than the other. You were placed under household arrest.

When Obi-Wan got back to the north of that realm, his heart skipped a beat when he spotted you at the gardens. The same gardens where you once joked at each other, paced together and shared many secrecies.

You were surrounded by your ladies, one of whom was playing the lute. You danced graciously, hair on the wind as if you hadn’t been under considerable distress in the past years.

And then you saw him. Your heart seemed to stop when you spotted Obi-Wan Kenobi in fancy robes. He looked so differently to you, certainly more mature with that beard and a longer haircut. Stronger and handsomer. You blushed when you went to greet him in person, dismissing your ladies.

“My lord Kenobi.” You beamed when seeing him. It had been years. Nearly five? Seven? You were not so sure. What was certain was that your feelings for him remained the same, untouched by time.

“My lady Y/N.” He took your hand to his lips, there staying as he locked eyes with you. “It’s a pleasure to see you. As promised, I’m here.”

You came back to me.

Obi-Wan heard your thoughts, a crooked and discreet smile on his lips when he saw you blinking away the tears on your eyes.

“Obi.” You noticed he did not let go of your hand and you held it tight against yours. “You are here, indeed.”

There was silence, a pleasant silent that stood in between the both of you where neither knew what to say. So much to be said, but words choked in each throat.

“Please come inside. I pray you are here to stay.” You couldn’t care less about the guards who looked weirdly at Obi-Wan and would have prevented him to stay had he not used his Jedi trick. “And you remain mischievous as ever, I see.” You added in between chuckles when seeing what he did.

He smirked at you as he walked inside the same old manor he’d spent his youth by your side.

“Some things hardly change, dear one.” Obi-Wan swooned inside when seeing the effect he had on you. How you blushed, became suddenly shy at the same time you were your older self. “Unfortunately there is little I can promise in regards to my stay. But I know I won’t leave you ever again.”

As you asked your ladies to fetch yourselves food and wine, taking a seat by his side at the living room, you said:

“Why, your words sound contradictory to me.” Despite the disappointment in your voice, you didn’t let go of his hand and neither did he let go of yours.

“Only in the appearances. I’ve been recently elevated to Master.” He told you the recent news. “I’m a Master Jedi now, Y/N.”

“These are excellent news!” You beamed at him. “I understand this was what you’ve been pursuing since the days you were Padawan, am I correct?”

Obi-Wan beamed. You remembered.

“Yes, you certainly are. Your memory is as sharp as ever, Y/nickname.”

You blushed deeply, lowering your gaze momentarily before raising it again just to find Obi-Wan was staring at you. Unconsciously you smiled the silliest and sweetest of the smiles. You’ve never been happier and he could tell that, another reason why he too smiled.

“You flatter me, silly man.” You giggled. “Oh, Obi. How can I repay your kindness? To be fair, I am still haunted by how I dismissed you that very day when you were forced by circumstances to depart. I wish I wasn’t so proud.”

“I don’t blame you, Y/nickname. Far from it. I understand you and I lamented to leave even when all I’ve wanted was to stay.” He paused. “It has come to my knowledge that you have been through some turbulences. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you.”

You smiled softly as you leant forward to stroke his cheek, not minding that you were surrounded by ladies who were occupied with their sewing after food and wine were placed on table.

“Will your Jedi tricks ever cease to surprise me?” You giggled. “There is little to apologize for, Obi. It is what it is. It’s in the past now. Now please eat. You must be starving.”

Obi-Wan knew it was a sensitive topic to be so openly discussed, so he didn’t press the matter. Once both of you dinned and savored the wine, it was late. You led him to his bedchambers, holding a candle all the way. But something stopped you right at his door.

He sensed it too. Specially as your eyes met. There was silence and a different tension where there had been none before.

“You are as beautiful as I remembered.” Obi-Wan confessed, in an almost imperceptible whisper.

But you heard him. Your cheeks burnt.

“As are you.” You told him, your heart racing. “No man could ever charm me like you.”

A crooked smile reached half way his lips. He took your hand, the free one, and there pressed another kiss. His beard tingling against your skin awaked something in you. And Obi-Wan knew it by how you were looking at each other. The bond was too strong to ignore it.

“It is late.” You recomposed yourself. “You must be tired. I will leave you to your sleep.”

Obi-Wan was mumbling something of the sort when he was surprised by the kiss you pressed on his cheek. His heart raced against his cheek and he wondered what would be like to kiss you.

“Good night, my darling.” It was what be said instead. Oh Maker, why?! “Sleep well”

He couldn’t decipher what was in your eyes. But a mischievous smirk was seen in your lips instead.

“Sleep well, my dear Obi. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And so you left him there, watching as you went back to your privy quarters. So Obi-Wan sighed, mesmerized…

***

It was a very difficult week for you and Obi-Wan. Surrounded by your ladies and guards, rare were the opportunities where you enjoyed some privacy. But once you did… it was filled with bliss. As the day you rode to a nearby lake and there you stayed together.

“I do not wish to tempt your heart.” Both of you were lying down in the grass, hands intertwined, your hair a mess in a similar scenario of years ago. “Or even reclaim your soul because my mind reminds me constantly of your vows.”

He was on his elbow, on his side, looking at you. You returned his gaze, your heart accelerating upon this intimate moment. Specially when he placed his hand in the back of your neck, the mere touch against your skin giving you shivers.

“I’m afraid no oath is worth keeping it when it comes to you, Y/N.”

Obi-Wan leant forward to kiss you. Your dreams were finally coming true. Your eyes closed, a smile curling on the corner of your lips as you welcomed his tongue pursuing yours. Your hands rested over his shoulders, moving to his hair.

The kiss was slow and careful, maybe sloppy and disastrous, but it was tender; never fragile, never cold. Obi-Wan heard your heart’s beating, like being dragged by a high tide he was pulled into the waters of your love, gladly drowned into you as the kiss deepened.

You could only think that God brought him back to you and you were not letting this man go. Whatever your souls were made of, surely was of the same thing. Your hands gently cupped his cheeks. It took some time before you parted the kiss.

“I love you.” You were the first one to say, sounding breathless. “I’ve always loved you, Obi. I will not take any man that is not you by my side.”

Obi-Wan’s face went red upon your words. Not only because of the intensity of them, bringing back the young affection that only matured with time, but how it mirrored his sentiments in an unexplainable way.

“I love you too, my Y/nickname.” The two of you smiled at each other. Though he shouldn’t have formed any attachment, you were worthy breaking the oath. “Always had, always will.”

You beamed overjoyed as you leaned to kiss his lips one more time. This time you dared to roll over him, and he more than gladly welcomed you, resting his hands on your hips.

“There is one oath I need you to keep, though.” You said after a while. It was right before the sunset when Obi-Wan thought wise to regress your household if you didn’t want to get caught.

“Yes, my little dove? What is it?” He looked down at you after helping you clean your hair from the grass.

“You are mine, Obi. I shall not accept you with anyone else.”

Beneath the sense of possessiveness you displayed towards him, Obi-Wan read the fear of abandonment there was always in you. He understood you better than you thought. As he took your hand to his, he said:

“Well, my order does forbid me to marry.”

“Good.” You smirked at him. “I do not intend to marry either.”

An agreement was implied in these words, one that might flourish into something someday. All both of you had to do was.. wait.

***

He was playing cards with you when two events happened nearly at the same time. One was that the Council requested his presence to an important mission concerning Senator Amidala with his Padawan. The other, just as relevant, was the news that your sister, the Queen, has come to die.

“Oh.” He was there when he saw the shock on your face. He was afraid you might even past out, so Obi-Wan held you by your elbow. “It’s… it’s God willing. And… And it’s wonderful before our eyes.”

You closed your eyes. You had won. And when you smiled at him, Obi-Wan smiled too. Both of you finally overcame your difficulties…

***

Present days.

A feast is held to celebrate your ascension to your throne. You irradiate an aura of joy and liberty. Finally, you are able to be who you want to be, to enjoy life as it is, never forgetting the great responsibility that now rests in your hands.

You dance merrily with your ladies, greet the nobles, talk to the clergy. But it’s when the feast is close to the end that you are at long last able to give attention to your beloved knight.

“I wanted to introduce you my nephew, Y/N.” You come to meet the handsome Anakin Skywalker whom, in fact, you’ve seen charming your cousin Padmé. At a great cost you hold back a smirk. “Anakin, this is Queen Y/N.”

He bows respectfully, taking the hand to kiss it.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Your Majesty.”

“The pleasure is mine, General Skywalker. I pray you enjoy the court. Any family of my good friend is also mine.” You smile warmly. “Now if you excuse me, young man, I have some business to attend with your uncle.”

You pretend not to notice a smirk on the boy’s lips. As the great hall starts to empty, you turn at Obi-Wan.

“Are you staying for the night?” Your eyes give more than your words imply.

He holds your gaze as his fingers intertwine, not minding how this gesture might be seen by the few courtiers there present.

“If you want me to.”

“I’ll be looking forward to meet you.” You blush weekly, though your smile contains a great deal of excitement that even Obi-Wan cannot hold back himself.

***

You are dressed in a white nightshirt, aware that might be transparent, but not minding that at all. Your redhair falls loose, recently brushed by your darling cousin, who is also your confidante and who prevented the curious ladies to know about your secretive meeting with Obi-Wan.

The light of the candles produce waves of shadows, giving a poor illumination to your privy bedchambers. If it is warm, however, you are thankful the fireplace is burning bright. Like you, from the moment the door is open and Obi-Wan walks in.

His eyes go wide when seeing you in such a state. As he closes the door, Obi-Wan holds back his imperative instinct to hold you his arm because first he wants to delight upon the view of you. It is mostly thanks to the Force that he’s acutely aware of your desire. It burns you like it hurts him.

“Y/N.” Your name comes out a melody in his lips as he steps forward, his hands gently caressing your shoulders and arms before resting around your neck. He drinks of the love that is in your eyes, a love that you find in him. “So beautiful as ever. My queen. My lover…” and, as he whispers in your ear: “My wife.”

You shiver upon your words, your eyes gleaming when meeting his gaze. A smile opens wide in your lips.

“Are you sure?” Your insecurities, though, speak louder.

He caresses your cheek, never before so positive about breaking the one rule that conducts the Jedi way.

“Yes. Are you?” Obi-Wan asks you.

“Yes. My heart is yours.”

He pulls you close to him, kissing you slowly and hard as his hands slip through your hair, playing gently with your red locks before resting over your hips. You, in turn, begin to work to remove his robes, your hands eager to touch his skin.

“Easy, love.” He chuckles as he parts the kiss to remove his nightshirt. But Obi-Wan feels an urgent arousal pressing against his pants as you eye him with an intent desire. You don’t let him touch you at first because you want to explore him.

Your eyes go from his chest, admiring his well build muscles with your fingertips and stopping right before his pants, slowly lacing it. Obi-Wan closes his eyes and a moan escapes his lips when you set his manhood free.

“Hmm.” You say, feeling the ache in your legs. “My love…”

You have no words to express your lust; you know how indecent you would sound and it makes you blush. As much as he enjoys being touched by you, he removes your hands when sensing your urge.

“My queen, today’s your day, not mine.” He chuckles softly as he lies you down in bed.

Obi-Wan lifts your nightgown, removing it at last. As you lie down right before him, you see his erection going hard as he admires you. It makes you even more wet to be so desired.

So he moves his body over yours, spreading your legs a little bit as he inserts a finger right in between. Moved by an unnamed sentiment that never before tangled you both, Obi-Wan instinctively wants you to feel good. His eyes look for yours as you mewl into his hand.

“Hmm. Is it good, my love?” He asks you, leaning his body forward over yours, groaning when you scratch his back with your nails, burying deep in his skin.

“Yes. Oh, Obi! Yes!” You try to be careful with your volume, but he makes it difficult for you.

Specially when he leans to kiss your neck. His beard tingling against your skin only makes you shiver. Something about your inexpressible thoughts arouse him. He takes his time to please you in turn, enjoying to have a powerful queen under his power. To perceive that earns him a smirk.

He now devours your chest hungrily for you, your skin. To feel your nipples hardening under his mouth makes his own manhood ache. For Maker’s sake. And how you moan his name is not any more helpful.

You tangle your fingers with his hair, pulling it, gripping it at your will. You arch your back, finding out how needy have you been to his touch. And how heavenly is to be submitted to him. He tends your needs so well.

It’s when he replaces his fingers by your mouth, that you nearly forget all control you’ve been having to yourself. Looking down at him makes you melt.

You burn with fever, you feel butterflies in your stomach, you are now enslaved to an endless desire for the man you’ve always loved. Never before you were present to such a blissful need. It’s a desperation that makes your toes curl and, like an ocean moving back from the sand, a high tide prepares to send a shockwave to destroy it all.

You are destroyed. And you cannot help yourself. There is something pleasant in losing control. There you are, shaking and crying out loud Obi-Wan’s name.

The Jedi, as careful as he might’ve been, out of concern for you, is too lost in this moment. And before he knows it, he’s pulled over your body and—he would have hesitated in consuming the not official marriage because of reasons, but he is not the most reasonable of the men right now—thrusts into you.

“Love me.” You command him, your legs wrapped around his waist. “Love me, Obi.”

He cups your cheeks with his hands, eyes locked as he does slide his manhood into you. Heavy chest, he barely breathes.

“Yes.” It comes out as a moan. “Yes, Y/nickname. Yes, I will love you. Let me tend your needs, my darling.”

So he kisses you. It’s not sloppy, slow or careful. It’s hot, fervent, feverish, careless. He owns you, he dominates every inch of your soul. You give in, you comply with his wishes. You and him are one soul, one body.

You hold his hand as he holds yours. Finally, oh finally, the moment so desired is consumed. And like the fire in your fireplace, it continues to burn in dancing flames…

***

Early in the morning, Obi-Wan is the first to open his eyes. The smell of sweat and perfume are mixed as your bodies are still tangled. He smiles fondly at you, sleeping like an angel in his arms. The only one woman who made him forsake his vows.

He peppers your skin with gentle kisses. Not to wake you up, just to spoil you with the love he feels for you. Yes, he is worried about how his union with you might impact your political career, but Obi-Wan is unwilling to let go of you.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He smiles as you open your eyes, watching the face of the man you love greeting you as the rays of the first hours of the day break through the curtains of your chambers. “We must get ready for the day.”

You sigh, holding him close to you.

“Good morning, my love. Are you sure it’s time? It’s so early.” You smile warmly when seeing him moving his body over yours. So gentle, so tender.

“We will have enough time to ourselves, my dear. You must not forget your duties.” He kisses your neck, moving to your cheek. “I shall not distract you from them.”

You roll your eyes, but a smile is still seen in your lips.

“I don’t care as long as you are here with me.”

“I told you, I am not leaving you.”

But as the day goes on, and so does the week, the courtiers are baffled by the evident favor you give Obi-Wan, specially when ennobling him by conceding him the earldom of Y/C. However, as that delights you to repay, what you’d say to all those who wanted to hear, the efforts of a dear friend who was always helpful to you specially in times of war and where you needed most, you know you cannot neglect others.

To be a queen is more difficult and not so glamorous as you thought. There are growing difficulties, tensions to amend with other realms, nobles who envy you and must be appeased—and those in your council who want to marry you off. But you refuse it.

Because, before their knowledge and in complete secrecy—with only your cousin lady Padmé and the woman who was like a mother to you besides Anakin Skywalker as witnesses—you married Obi-Wan. You are now a Kenobi by marriage. The idea often makes you giggle foolishly when you were by yourself.

As for Obi-Wan, he does not marry you for other reason that is not love. He cares little to nothing where politics are concerned and often he has his own missions as a Jedi to accomplish—which relieves the tension amongst the envious courtiers.

Nonetheless, he’s still there to advise you with his experience and it all seems to go well. Until one day… you fall sick. And you come to realize your rules aren’t coming for the past two months.

It’s late at night when Obi-Wan finally visits you. He has just arrived at court and been told about your sickness. So he rushes to your privy bedchambers.

“My dove.” He runs by your side, seeing misery stamped in your face. Obi-Wan can tell you have been crying. “What troubles you? What did the doctors say? Are you well?”

“I haven’t called the doctors, Obi.” You let out a sob.

The sad part about all of this is that you were forced to see that you would not be able to create the child as your own. You’ve been plagued with doubts all day, unsure what to do.

“What? Why?” Obi-Wan frowns, concerned.

“Because, my love, I am carrying your child.”

Obi-Wan is perplexed by what he’s been told. As happy as he is, he understands why you are upset. He takes your hand and presses a kiss.

“This was a risk I’ve been preparing myself to.” He admits it. “I… I’ve been having some ideas, though.”

You look at him, confused.

“Oh?”

“The child might inherit the Force that is in me.” Obi-Wan tells you. “But I do not wish to oblige to go into the order if… Well, what I considered was to let your cousin Padmé raise the kid with Anakin, since they are together.”

Your eyes go tearful. Obi-Wan senses your conflict. He leans his forehead against yours.

“It’s for the best, my love.”

“I’m sorry.” You tell him, clinging onto his arms.

“There’s no need to be. Everything will be all right. You will see…”

You give him a long look, willing to cuddle. To accomplish your desires, Obi-Wan cuddles you. What was meant to be a moment of joy, turns to be a crisis to your reign…

***

You are determined to tell the council of your secretive marriage, even though you fear for the safety of your child. But you pray the Providence to help you, aware the opposition will be great.

When Obi-Wan is told of your plans, he is hesitant.

“Are you sure, my darling? Are you sure this is the right thing to be done?”

“Yes. Whatever it happens, I will never regret for following my heart.”

You smile at him, suddenly renewed with hopes. You summon your council. Obi-Wan is right in the corner of the room, fearful for you—even more so for the unborn child.

“Master, there is no need to worry. You can count on me and Padmé.” Anakin whispers.

Obi-Wan strokes his beard in his typical preoccupation. Anakin doesn’t like to see the man who is like a father to him in this condition.

“I appreciate your concerns, Anakin. But I fear for Y/N. She must not lose the throne she fought so hard to inherit.”

“We will raise the child well.” He takes the opportunity to say. “Padmé is pregnant, by the way.”

“Oh! These are good news!”

As he is momentarily distracted to Anakin’s pleasant news, you face the shock in the face of men upon the news you deliver.

“My great grandfather did the same thing before me. Because I am a woman, I cannot follow the leads of my heart?” You add in your tranquility and confidence. “There is only one mistress here, I assure you, but no man.”

In due time, as you prove to be a good queen for your people, your council realizes that marrying a man like Kenobi provides better security than wedding a foreigner prince who might like to hold control over the entire realm. Your choice proves wise, although more popular to the common folk than to the nobility.

To your surprise—in fact, the surprise to the whole kingdom—you give birth to twins. But, worried about their security, you send them both to be educated with the offspring of Anakin and Padmé until your realm is safe again to receive them.

“It’s the best you can do.” Obi-Wan assures your distressed heart. “You have to concern yourself in dealing with the pretenders before bring your children home.”

And you do so. There’s little opposition to your rule as you rise to the title of Gloriana, queen of the people. Obi-Wan, uncomfortable with the spotlight, rather concentrates himself in his missions.

But within a year or two, you two finally get the chance to see your children. You’ve never been happier.

“My love”, you tell Obi-Wan gleefully. “You provide me a family I’ve longed to build. Thank you.”

He smiles at you and the children in your arms. The perfect scenario after years emerged in struggles. Both of you.

“I must thank you for never giving up on me. I love you, dear one.”

So he kisses you.

***

Epilogue.

You open your eyes and this time he’s sleeping by your side. Very gently you place your fingertips over his bare skin, admiring his tan and his messy hair. You have in mind the moment of intimacy you shared and you smirk as you remember it. You feel desire raising as your fingers move to his shoulder and back to his neck, wrapping around his lock of hair.

You are about to wake him up in the manner you know he enjoys when the door of your privy chamber is open and there she is, princess Anne. Your ginger daughter so full of life is now aged four and jumps right into your bed.

“I managed to escape lady H/N!” She gleefully tells you, before poking Obi-Wan.

“Oh. Is that so?” You laugh at her. “My darling princess, you should be in your bed… it’s very early. Let your daddy…”

But the next thing you know is Obi-Wan waking up and tickling your daughter. Soon you are joined by your son, the prince whom your council wants him to be educated at the tradition where presumptive heirs in the past were. But you refuse for now.

You want to enjoy the family you never had, the warmth and loving that you were never provided with. You rejoice at being a mother as Obi-Wan rejoices in being a father.

As he cuddles all of you together, he smiles at you.

“You are the light of my life, Y/N.”

“As you are mine, Obi.”

So you live like this for a happier and long life…

[tennessoui]

I know you just posted a chapter of lslm (which I adored 🥺🥺🥺) but can we talk about how you mentioned/remembered they have a dog in kuwsk only for the dog to be nowhere to be seen in that chapter? Where was the dog, kit? Where was the dog!!!

the line is "i got a dog for you" not "i kept the dog for you"

bestie do you remember how late in that chapter the dog was mentioned........you know i forgot until i thought of a poignant dramatic line i could use the dog for......

in my mind the dog smelled drama going down in the kitchen and was like actually i am going to stay right here in the living room instead of investigating. too old for that shit

[thatoneclumsyjedi]

STAR WARS FIC RECS!

Here go some nice fics, mostly Clone Wars Era

*at least the war is over - katierosefun

3k, 1/1, Padme Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, Domestic Fluff, Sickfic

Or Anakin runs himself sick after taking care of his own sick kids. Padmé, away on business, calls Obi-Wan and Ahsoka to help because Anakin Skywalker does not know how to ask for help on his own.

*Selfless - Guardian_of_Hope

2k, 4/4, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Commander Cody, Ahsoka Tano, Hurt/Comfort

Obi-Wan has always looked after people, sometimes at the expense of himself.

*they say home is where the heart is, so am i homeless or just heartless? - anxiety_banana

9k, 1/1, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Padme Amidala, Master Ploo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Captain Rex, Depression, Trauma, PTSD

This was more than pain.

This was a trauma that had sunk it's teeth into her flesh for so many years, silently tearing away at her so now that she had time to think about it, Ahsoka came crashing down.

(aka ahsoka is Depressed™, finally realizes that she is a mess, and painfully makes her way back to having a family)

*Discovery - Knitgeek16

46k, 19/?, Lux Bonteri/Ahsoka Tano, A mature Lux? Excellent!, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Captain Rex, Original Characters, Self Discovery

Ahsoka has been many things...but never did she think she'd be a mother. Set after her exit from the Order, Ahsoka discovers things about herself, the Force, and about love that will change her life and the life of a Senator forever. But just when they believe their happiness is set, Dark forces in the galaxy rise, forcing Ahsoka to return to the Temple and to her life as a Jedi.

*Sensing Trouble from a Mile Away - The PartyPrince

4k, 1/1, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee, Master Luminara Unduli, Depression, Angst, Suicide Attempt

Anakin is forced to give up command of the 501st. Things go downhill from there.

*you drew scars around my scars (and now I'm bleeding) - hschooler

8k, 1/1, Anakin Skywalker|Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bail Organa, Rex, Darth Vader Redemption, Angst, Hurt/Comofrt, BEAUTIFUL

Ahsoka sucked in a ragged breath, trying to ignore the burning behind her eyes. Anakin reached for her in the Force, and tendrils of guilt and regret, all saturated with undercurrents of love, surrounded her. She knew he was trying to let her in, to not bury everything he felt behind a mask he’d worn long before Vader. Anakin was learning from his mistakes, trying to do better just like she knew he would. But she had to get through this, first. Ahsoka needed to learn her own lessons, too.

*Good Sleep is Hard to Find - hellowkatey

3k, 1/1, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Rex, Vokara Che, Sleep and Nightmares, Insomnia

The Disaster Lineage™ has a long history of being horrible at getting the sleep they need.

*Absences - crimsonhope

3k, 1/1, Padawan Training, Child Soldiers, Jedi Temple, Ahsoka Tano, Other Padawans, Jedi Council, Anakin Skywalker, Teaching, SO INTERESTING

The Padawan – Ahsoka – approached him respectfully, yet with a bit of uncertainty. She looked tired, but so many of his students did, nowadays. “Do I still have some absences that I need to provide a mission excuse for?”

“No, no need to worry, everything appears fine in that regard.” In regard of providing an excuse, at least, not really in regard of the number of those excuses, he commented internally, quickly disregarding the intrusive thought. “You were, however, supposed to turn in your assignment on a chosen battle from the Cold War today…”

He could see the realization dawning on her face, as he’s seen it on so many others in similar circumstances.

*lately i feel so unstable - anxiety_banana

875, 1/1, Post Mortiss, Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, The Son, Mental Health Issues, Paranoia

Mortis left more than memories.

The Son never left Ahsoka, not really. And now she has to deal with the paranoia that comes with having a Force-Being making you go crazy.

*The Ghosts of Point Rain - stolen_pen_name23

3k, 1/1, Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Heat Stroke Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort

The disaster trio returns to Geonosis and Ahsoka faces the threat of heatstroke.

[the-last-kenobi]

If you’re still taking requests (feel no pressure to do this) 14 with Obi-wan and a knight Anakin because that sounds very much like him

A fluff prompt!! I’m so excited, thank you! 🤍

From this various prompts list.

Requests are currently closed.

_

Obi-Wan Kenobi had not slept in three nights, and his Lineage was not happy about it.

Ahsoka and Anakin watched with narrowed eyes from a balcony as the Jedi Master mingled with the crowd, smiling softly at anyone who engaged his attention, keeping close to the side of Chancellor Palpatine and Vice Chair Mas Amedda.

For a man who was running on very little sleep and hardly any sustenance, Obi-Wan was managing to maintain the image of the perfect Jedi — civil, humble, charming, wise. Power concealed just below the surface.

Every so often, Palpatine would draw the Jedi deeper into some conversation or other, or pat him on the shoulder in a strangely paternal fashion.

“Why does he keep doing that?” Ahsoka hissed to her Master. “Master Kenobi hates strangers touching him!”

“The Chancellor isn’t a stranger,” Anakin said defensively. But he watched again as Palpatine settled a hand on his former Master’s arm and saw the slight tension creasing Obi-Wan’s forehead, and had to concede that Obi-Wan was feeling uncomfortable. “But yeah. I don’t think the Chancellor knows, he wouldn’t do it if he did. He’s probably just too used to working with me instead. We’re more like friends.”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrows. “And would he have let you go home by now? We were supposed to be able to leave almost two hours ago.”

Anakin sighed. He leaned on the railing, absentmindedly picking at a carved design in the metal with his mech hand, creating a small clicking noise. He scanned the room again, searching for unlikely threats, and then returned his gaze to his Master and his friend, still penned in the center of a colorful crowd all waiting for attention. To see and be seen. Vultures.

Obi-Wan had more patience for this sort of thing, it was true, but it was apparent to those who knew him well — to Anakin — that he was run ragged. That every new face turning in his direction, awed and pettily delighted by meeting both the Supreme Chancellor and a High Jedi General, was another weight on his shoulders.

Anakin glanced over at his Padawan. Ahsoka’s eyes lit up as she saw the look in his eyes.

“How do you wanna do this?” she asked, tapping her fingers excitedly on the banister. “I know you like explosions, but if you set something off, Master Obi-Wan will definitely have to flee with the Chancellor to safety and then he’ll be gone for ages.”

“You’re right, Snips,” Anakin said, and a smirk pulled at his lips. He ruffled his hair proudly, ignoring Ahsoka’s eye roll, and said, “So I’ll take a leaf from Obi-Wan’s book. I’ll just go right down there and use my words.”

Anakin beamed.

Ahsoka looked as if she suddenly preferred an explosion.

-

“Yes, hi, hello, excuse me, coming through, yep, pardon me, just walking here,” Anakin threw scattered, inane apologies in every direction as he plowed a path right through the entire gala.

Ahsoka trailed in his wake, smiling awkwardly at the people who scattered with startled looks and scowling ferociously at those who dared look cross.

Obi-Wan spotted them first. He was deep in conversation with a representative from the Core, but his blue eyes flickered to them briefly and his smile became slightly taut; he raised one of his hands in what might have passed for a wave but was, to his Padawans, a clear signal to turn around.

Anakin disregarded this subtle warning immediately.

He strolled directly up to Obi-Wan, bowed slightly, and put a hand on the Master’s shoulder, smiling blindingly at the representative. “Good evening. I’m afraid it’s time for Master Kenobi to depart. The Jedi thank you for your time.”

The representative raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

Palpatine, on the other hand, suddenly popped up right beside them, a wide smile on his grandfatherly face. “Anakin, Knight Skywalker, how good to see you! I thought you’d gone home hours ago, why, surely you need your rest after that last campaign.”

Anakin kept a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Ahsoka shifted to stand behind them, smiling a little too widely, the points of her teeth glinting, at anyone who looked at them askance.

“We had quite the victory,” Anakin agreed. He preened slightly. But — “And you’re right, Chancellor, we do need our rest. General Kenobi has served very well, and we’re all eager to rest and prepare for our next deployment.”

Palpatine’s smile widened still further. “Ah, yes. General Kenobi is an incredible public servant, he’s such a delight to have at events such as these.”

This time it was Anakin who tensed slightly. Ahsoka sidled up surreptitiously and linked her arm with Master Obi-Wan’s, flanking him between them, drawn up as tall as she could make herself.

Anakin looked intently at Palpatine, trying to communicate to his friend that now was not the time for politics. He’d thought this would be easy, but the Chancellor seemed determined to keep Kenobi with him all evening. The crowd had begun to disperse, realizing they weren’t going to be receiving any attention for awhile, but they milled about nearby, clearly listening in.

“I—” Obi-Wan began, but Anakin decided to risk his Master’s wrath and just cut him right off.

“And he and I are always happy to be invited by such gracious hosts!” he blurted out quickly. “But sadly, we will have to wait for another invitation before we get the chance to enjoy one another’s company. We really do have to be going.”

Palpatine studied him for a moment.

Go on, Anakin urged him silently. Please. Come on. You know we want to leave.

The silence dragged.

“Master Kenobi,” Palpatine said warmly, turning to Obi-Wan, and Anakin felt a wave of relief. “What do you say? Shall we… let you out of your duties for the sake of your valiant friends?”

Oh, what the fuck?

It had the ring of a joke but was worded like a trap. And Anakin could see, in slow-motion, the flicker of resignation and bitterness deep in Obi-Wan’s blue eyes, just behind the friendly smile, and knew what was about to happen if he didn’t do something about it.

Anakin let out a loud laugh and clapped Obi-Wan on the shoulder again. “Sorry, everyone. We’re on a time crunch, we have to get back in time for dessert.”

Ahsoka laughed, too, and clung a little tighter to Obi-Wan’s arm.

Obi-Wan looked somewhere between confused and horror struck.

Palpatine’s smile froze.

Anakin chuckled and waved at the surrounding crowd, shrugging in a you-know-how-it-is sort of way. “Hey, he promised us milkshakes. General I may be, but I still demand my old Master fulfill his promises of unhealthy desserts.”

“Hey, I think out of everyone, I deserve milkshakes the most!” Ahsoka interjected, her tone teasing.

A few of the politicians shot her amused smiles. Ordinarily she would have bristled, but in this instance she just shot them knowing, conspiratorial looks, like a child deliberately making mischief. There was a ripple of laughter.

“I don’t know about that,” Anakin said. “I think I definitely took out the most droids.”

“Riiiight,” said Ashoka. “After I took out the battlement. By myself.”

They ribbed back and forth. The gala was eating it up, their faces amused and indulgent, intrigued by the display of youthful frivolity and friendship the Jedi were giving them. Obi-Wan was still pinned between them, rooted helplessly to the spot.

Anakin looked back at the Chancellor, expecting a smile.

Instead he got a blank expression — which quickly turned into a loud bark of laughter and a grandfatherly grin. He clapped his hands to gain the attention of the crowd and said, “Oh, I believe our brave Hero and his friends have earned themselves a night out for something as innocent and delightful as milkshakes, don’t you say?”

The crowd laughed and nodded; there was scattered applause, and it was done.

Anakin winked at the Chancellor and then turned on the spot, he and Ahsoka striding out the room with Obi-Wan trapped in the middle, waving and bowing at anyone who smiled in their direction.

The three of them escaped out of the ballroom, down the flight of stairs, and out onto the grand balcony overlooking the landing platform, where their ship was waiting in the semi-darkness of the Coruscant night.

Anakin and Ahsoka turned at the same time to look at Obi-Wan, each of them still holding on to one of the Master’s arms.

There was a long silence.

Obi-Wan stared tiredly down at the speeder for a very long time.

Anakin looked at his Padawan nervously.

But then Obi-Wan’s lips twitched beneath his beard, and then he chuckled, and then he burst into uproarious laughter. The sound was infectious; relieved and excited, the other two clung to him and laughed, all of them half-leaning on the railing, cackling like idiots.

They laughed until they ran out of breath, and then laughed a little more.

After a long while, Obi-Wan disentangled his arms from their controlling grips but immediately settled them back, one on Anakin’s shoulder and the other resting on Ahsoka’s back. “I think,” he said, “I promised you milkshakes. Dex’s?”

“Oh, I definitely remember you saying that!” Ahsoka said. “Dex’s is great.”

“Yeah, and you also definitely said you’d pay,” Anakin wheedled.

“No,” Obi-Wan said firmly.

“Awww. Worth a shot,” Anakin whispered to his Padawan.

Obi-Wan smiled. “I said I’d pay for Ahsoka’s. You, my Knighted former Padawan, can pay for your own dessert.”

Ahsoka cheered. Anakin groaned. They strolled off into the night, ambling without haste or urgency or fear, connected by light touches of the hands and arms, and by something deeper and unseen and familial.

There would be time for the war and politics later.

Right now, they were late for dessert.

fin

[secretsolarsystem]

❛ don’t scare me like that. i thought i lost you. ❜👀🔮

bestieeeee I had SO MUCH FUN with this one <33 I tried something new and wrote this from an outsider's perspective, but hopefully all the obikin vibes and feels are still there hehe <3

this mini-fic is a spin on the Coruscanti chase scene in aotc where Obi-Wan and Anakin simply be jumpin out of shit <3 pls enjoy this jedi master!Obi-Wan, padawan!Ahsoka, raised a Sith!Anakin/Vader, enemies toooooooo hmmm idk :)))), 1.5k

—

Ahsoka really was so lucky to have the master she did, she knew. Not only was he the exemplar of what a Jedi was to be – brave, compassionate, strong – but he was simply a good person. He was funny, always kind to herself and others, and it was obvious people loved to be around him. 

In other words, Ahsoka couldn’t have asked for a better master than Obi-Wan Kenobi. She felt her training under his guidance was going extremely well, with no hiccups or hitches.

Except, well. Except that her master has this one little problem he didn’t seem very eager to solve, which was unlike him. 

Especially considering that this little problem was a Sith.

This Sith was not yet a Lord or however their hierarchy worked; no, he was an apprentice himself with an elusive and mysterious master. He was only a few years older than Ahsoka, and it seemed he had nothing better to do than bother her and her master.

Especially her master. Who, as previously stated, was doing little to stop this young Sith.

When they would come to blows with this young Sith, this Darth Vader as he once dramatically introduced himself, the fights were either extremely short or extremely long because Master Kenobi seemed hesitant, seemed loath to land a blow on the younger man.

While Ahsoka was always ready to pounce, ready to join her master as one of the only Jedi to kill a Sith in centuries, her master would always hold out his hand, commanding her to wait. She would with a snarl, sharp teeth bared as she watched her master try to negotiate with the relentless, obnoxious, not-deserving-of-her-master’s-time-and-patience Sith.

“Vader,” her master would begin, soft and soothing as if Vader was a spooked animal, “we do not want to hurt you. We want to help you, to show you the Light.”

Speak for yourself, Master, Ahsoka would always think, and her master would shoot a disapproving look back over his shoulder at her, making her shrug. She didn’t necessarily mean to let the thought slip out and into their bond, but she always didn’t mind her master knowing how stupid and insane she thought his attepts to reason with a teenaged Sith was.

And those attempts never worked. Vader would go one of two routes: he’d either smile and say “Well that doesn’t sound fun at all” before making his escape, or he’d bat his eyes all innocently and say how dangerous it would be if he were to even try to leave his master – before making his escape.

Either way, Master Kenobi always let him escape, watching Vader’s retreating form with a look of great pity, regret, and, Ahsoka was hesitant to say, even longing.

But other than that, everything was going great. Currently, the two of them were sitting outside of Senator Amidala’s bedroom, sent there to protect her from any further assassination attempts. Ahsoka didn’t know much about politics, but she liked the senator and what she stood for, so she was happy to ensure her safety. 

Ahsoka sat across from her master, the two of them perfect mirrors of one another as they sat on the floor meditating. She was reaching out into the Force, aiming to achieve a balance of heightened alertness to her surroundings and a calming peace to make her more perceptive to it. 

Master Kenobi was known in the Order for his knack for deep meditation, and it always helped Ahsoka fall deeper into the Force and herself when she meditated with her master. And while that was true now, she couldn’t help but smile and snort each time her master poked at her slackened shields playfully, as if to tease, “Are you still awake, my padawan?” She didn’t need to open her eyes in those moments to know that he, too, was smiling.

So deep in her meditative state, Ahsoka did not know how long they had been sitting like that when she felt it: the sharp, quick, loud disturbance in the Force. It was one she had felt before, and if adrenaline wasn’t coursing through her at that moment, she would’ve scoffed and rolled her eyes. 

Of course their little Sith was here.

Ahsoka and Master Kenobi were both on their feet in seconds, dashing into the senator’s room. There they saw Amidala sleeping soundly, despite the dark figure looming over her with his yellow eyes and red blade the only bright things in the room. 

At their intrusion, Vader snapped his head up, his lightsaber stopping just mere inches from Senator Amidala’s neck. 

When his yellow eyes landed on Ahsoka, Vader snarled. When he looked to Kenobi, he smiled sweetly, playfully. 

Now rolling her eyes, Ahsoka ignited both of her blades, adrenaline giving way to a need to get this interaction with the Sith over with. 

“Ahsoka-” Obi-Wan began to chastise, but he was cut off by Vader quickly turning around and leaping through the open window he must’ve entered through, jumping down into the Coruscanti traffic below. 

Ahsoka and her master rushed to the window, ignoring Amidala’s cries of shock and confusion as they looked to see where the Sith had gone. While the sight of him settling into a speeder made Ahsoka groan, her master sighed with what she could swear was relief. Relief!

Before she could even think to say anything, Master Kenobi followed suit, jumping out of the window with a generous push of the Force to land himself in the passenger seat of the Sith’s speeder as it began to pull away. 

Amidala shouted out in concern, but Ahsoka ignored that, too. Instead, she muttered to herself, “I hate when he does that,” and made for the door, running to a speeder of her own. 

As she chased Vader, she noticed that he was bobbing and weaving to lose her, but there didn’t seem to be any struggle within the speeder. It looked like, at worst, her master was simply bickering with the Sith. Vader would occasionally throw Master Kenobi a teasing grin, and Kenobi would give him an unimpressed glare, making Vader look back at Ahsoka and maneuver his vehicle to try and shake her.

In other words: instead of commandeering the speeder or doing literally anything, Master Kenobi was, what, joking around with Vader?

(This was the same Obi-Wan Kenobi that killed a Sith on Naboo, right?)

Just as Ahsoka took another sharp turn to keep up, Vaader’s speeder suddenly stopped. Between the time it took for Ahsoka to bring her own to an abrupt halt and for her eyes to focus again on what was in front of her, the Sith was throwing himself over the side of his speeder and falling down into traffic – actually into the traffic this time.

She felt her master’s panic in the Force at this, and watched as he threw himself into the driver’s seat and chased after the Sith. Once again rolling her eyes, Ahsoka followed. 

When they reached the ground where Vader had landed, Master Kenobi jumped out of the speeder before even stopping it fully to run after the young man. 

As Ahsoka caught up to them, she watched as Master Kenobi managed to grab onto Vader’s arm. Instead of finally apprehending him, though, her master yanked the Sith back and into his arms, enveloping him in a tight hug. 

“Don’t scare me like that,” Master Kenobi said, his voice simultaneously laced with relief and anger. It reminded Ahsoka of how he sounded when she would get caught sneaking back into their rooms in the morning after going to the lower levels with the other padawans. Although, now, Master Kenobi said something Ahsoka couldn’t remember him ever saying to her: “I thought I lost you.”

Now, this should have been a very shocking thing to hear. It was jarring, sure, to see her master hug a Sith apprentice and say he was worried about losing him, but Ahsoka was not surprised.

Because, as previously stated, Master Kenobi was hesitant to take care of their pesky Sith here. Ahsoka had argued with her master several times about this, urging him to fight and defeat the Sith once and for all. “You don’t have to kill him like you did Maul,” she’d tried, “but try to take him into custody, at least!”

And all her master had said in response was: “He is so young, Ahsoka.”

So no, it did not make Ahsoka feel anything other than annoyance when she saw this scene unfold before her.

She did, though, start to feel the beginnings of dread and nervousness and even fear. Because Vader, after a moment of wide-eyed surprise and still wrapped tightly in her master’s embrace, went completely lax against the older man. Actually, melted would be a better way of describing it, because every limb in the Sith’s body went limp as he dropped his weight fully into Master Kenobi’s body, eyes fluttering shut. 

Then, after a moment, Vader opened his unnerving yellow eyes, and looked right into Ahsoka’s own. It sent a shiver down her spine, especially when a large, unsettling smile spread out over his face and he brought his hands up to return Master Kenobi’s tight hug. 

The thing that made her feel fear, though, was when the Sith, who dug his fingers into her master’s clothes and still held her gaze, responded, “I’m so sorry, Master.”

Ahsoka had a very, very bad feeling about this.

from this prompt list mini-fic collection on ao3

[wickedsniffles]

For Once, Be Still

This piece was commissioned by a lovely anonymous friend! 😊

*Reposted from my main account! 

Masterlist

Summary: You and Obi-Wan find yourselves stuck for a time when he contracts an irritating virus from your latest mission. Though it's not all bad -- the two of you could stand to take a break.  

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Gender Neutral Reader, no pronouns used (Second Person Perspective)

Rating: Mature

Tags: established relationship, secret relationship, sickfic, pet names, caretaking, illness, common cold, handkerchiefs, fluff, Force bond, communication, thirst, kissing, dry humping, dirty talk

Word Count: 6.5K

For what has to be the fifth time, you glance to your right, at the disgruntled Jedi beside you. It's only enough to see him from the corner of your eye, a peek really, yet Obi-Wan knows what you're doing. His life Force brushes yours off like a bothersome flit-gnat, gentle but firm. You furrow your brow, about to open your mouth and argue, but Master Kenobi speaks first.

"Leave it," he sighs, followed by a contradictory sniffle. "Told you I'm fine."

Well, you suppose that jumping from planet to planet had to have an effect on him eventually.

It's been a whirlwind couple of months, with the pause between missions never seeming to last. Trade disputes between species on a normally peaceful planet. Rumors of gang activity kicking up in Hutt territory. A diplomatic hand needed here, there, and everywhere. You're thankful that at least you've been able to accompany Obi-Wan for most of them. Fresh into your Knighthood, you're often praised by the Council for how well you work with Master Kenobi at your side.

There's a reason for that, you think in quiet amusement whenever they dismiss you. Not only do you have similar personalities – both of you preferring to assess a situation before diving in, using logic and a clever word before your sabers – but after your Knighting, your friendship with the man has evolved into a little…more.

Touches that linger. Looks that burn. Realizing that the way you miss him when missions separate you isn't exactly in line with the way two colleagues should miss one another. No, you've come to admire him too much. The streak of mischief he only lets a few people see. His sweet tooth, also closely guarded. The gentle touches, always given in utmost privacy, his fingers stroking circles on your cheek or arm. Even that innocent gesture is enough to spawn goosebumps.

You love knowing all these little things about Obi-Wan, being privy to his secrets. Yet that also means knowing that he's going to do his best to hide whatever illness he's coming down with, once you reach Hynestia. According to the Council, the royal family has made the abrupt decision to shut down all trade coming out of the planet and its surrounding system. The two of you have been sent to sort something out. You doubt the neighboring systems will be happy if the Hynestians continue to refuse exporting their goods. Furious, even. The domino effect this could cause is unsavory, to say the least.

And of course, Obi-Wan knows how important it is to strike a deal with the planet's rulers and convince them to see sense again. Though you aren't looking at him, you can feel him giving off irritation. Frustration that he'd be struck down by something like this at such an inconvenient moment. On top of it, he's tired from all the hyperspace travel. The Council was supposed to send you two home after the last mission, but instead insisted you come straight here. Like you, he longs to be home at the Temple.

Letting your eyes wander from the vast array of stars once more, you dare another glance over at the man beside you. Obi-Wan rests his head in one hand, eyes closed, looking as exhausted as he feels in the Force. Already his face is paler than you're used to seeing it, drawing attention to the freckles dotting the bridge of his nose. And that's pink from all the sniffling and rubbing he's been doing the past few hours, poor thing.

He opens his eyes, as if he could feel you watching. Right away you blush, averting your look, staring down at the controls though there's no need to adjust the flight path for several hours. You're sure that Obi-Wan will tell you that you need to stop worrying. Something like this isn’t enough to slow him down, and it shouldn’t be enough to distract you from your duties, either. He’s right, of course. This is something you need to release to the Force, letting go of your anxieties for the sake of your mission. And –

“Sweetheart, if I'm being honest – I feel kriffing awful,” Obi-Wan croaks out, vanishing your line of thought in a flash.

“What?”

All your attention is on him now; you doubt you’d notice much if the ship veered off course and crashed into the nearest asteroid field. Because you’re certain Obi-Wan – Master Kenobi, who notoriously never takes a day off – just admitted that he feels unwell. That’s never happened in all the time you’ve known the man. Through every mission, every training session, he’s always the one who insists on seeing things through to the end. While Anakin and Ahsoka and yes, even you begin to complain about things, Obi-Wan is the one to set his jaw.

“We must’ve spent too much time in the lower portion of Bormea’s atmosphere,” he muses. “It’s –”

“Filthy, yeah,” you finish, too anxious to keep yourself from cutting in.

If Obi-Wan knows that he needs to slow down, then what kind of condition is he in? He seems to be okay, but is he hiding something from you? He senses your spike of panic and places a hand on your arm.

“Calm down, please. It’s not life or death,” he jokes, earning himself your disapproving frown. “It’s just going to be a cold, dear one. Nothing either of us haven’t gone through. Annoying, but manageable.”

You nod, taking the hand and tangling his fingers in with yours. Already his skin seems too warm to the touch, his body fighting off whatever he’d picked up in Bormea. Obi-Wan sniffs again thickly, massaging his temple with his free hand.

“But I…I can’t go to Hynestia like this. Their immune systems are much more fragile than ours, and giving the royal family a disease isn’t likely to paint us in a favorable light.”

“I’ll go on my own,” you say at once.

Obi-Wan smiles at you, something sweet and grateful. “How I wish you could. You’re one of the Knights that I trust the most to get this whole system out of the mess they’re in. But if I have it, and you’ve been so close to me all this time…” He lets his words trail off.

“I probably have it, too. Or I could pass it on,” you sigh, defeated.

“Mmm. We’ll have to comm the Council at once to sort this out.”

“We’ll have to do something else, too.” You point to the fuel gauge, which has started to blink. “Unless you wanted to be stuck floating out here.”

—-----------

You’re grateful for the fueling stations scattered throughout the galaxy. Though they’d bored you as a Padawan, when you’d seen them as a necessary, annoying stop before you were off to your next mission with your Master, now the places thrill you. They provide – of course – places for all shapes and sizes of ships to refuel. One can pay to dock there for a cycle or more, if the strain of hyperspace travel is getting to be tiresome. And best of all! They have snacks. Foods from every corner of the Rim, anything you could think of, along with the nastiest caf you’ve ever tasted.

It’s a blessing in disguise, you suppose, to have run out of fuel right as Obi-Wan’s realization came to light. The two of you can refuel and dock here for a cycle until you get further word from the Council. You're grateful for the fact that neither of you is wedged inside a starfighter for this particular mission. No – thank goodness, you’ve secured a ship you can walk around in and sleep in. That makes this whole debacle much easier.

Obi-Wan is handling the Council comm while you’re taking care of matters on the outside; refueling, paying for the dock, gathering snacks. There’s a few delicious looking Pantoran sweets that are calling your name. Once you’ve done all that, you make your way back to the ship, only to find that Obi-Wan’s not where you left him. The two seats at the front of the ship are empty, filling you with an instant sense of worry.

“Obi-Wan?” you call, setting your snacks down.

Prodding at the Force tells you he’s still on the ship. Locking the door behind you, you stride forward carefully. Why the kriff hasn’t he answered you? This isn’t exactly a big sh –

Oh.

He’s asleep. In the small hallway between the storage area and the two stacked cots, Obi-Wan had only made it to the wall before sliding down, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He’s still holding his comm loosely in one hand, like he’d ended the call and fallen asleep right then and there. A stab of sympathy pierces your chest. There’s a light sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead now, and when you kneel to place your hand to his face, it’s definitely warmer than before.

Uttering a soft curse, you try to get your arms underneath his body. You’re strong, but lifting a whole Obi-Wan from this angle is going to be a challenge. Anakin would have a field day watching you try to hoist his old Master bridal-style into one of these cots, wouldn’t he? (Not to mention he wouldn’t do a thing to help.) It’ll be easier to use the Force.

But just as you’re changing your mind on these methods, lowering him back to the floor, Obi-Wan stirs. His blue-green eyes blink up at you, like he needs a minute to remember how he’d ended up on the ground.

“Hey,” you smile.

“Hi.” It comes out raspy, a light whisper. He clears his throat and tries again. “After a little, er, involuntary experimentation, I’ve decided that the floors of this ship are more uncomfortable to sleep on than the cots. I didn’t think it was possible.”

So the sense of humor is intact. You laugh a little at the joke, helping him to his feet. The cots really aren’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but it can’t be any worse than the floor. Without complaint, Obi-Wan settles onto the lower one, seeming to realize that he’s not any use to you if he’s going to be falling asleep in the hallways.

“You don’t look so good,” you murmur, kneeling again to brush hair from his face.

It’s damp, sticking to his forehead with sweat. Next your fingers trail to his pulse, which is understandably higher. Worry tugs at you, though you try to remember what he’d said. All it is is a bad cold. If it turns out to be something awful, there are medical supplies on the ship. Any worse than that and you can call the Council. You doubt it’ll come to something so dire, but you’re the type of person who likes to have a backup plan for their backup plan.

“Don’t worry. Told you,” he says, feeling that sting of concern in the Force between you. Obi-Wan’s hand finds yours, clammy but familiar, and it squeezes. “And ‘m just tired.”

He’s looking at you with almost dopey admiration, the fever doing strange things to his life Force. Strong undercurrents of affection for you paint the air, and you blush back in return, unable to help being swayed by the way he’s looking at you. How your normally unruffled Jedi seems to be down and out, tugging at your heartstrings. Even in your most tender, private moments with Obi-Wan, he’s never seemed quite so – vulnerable.

Is it strange to think he looks sweet like this? You try to shake the thought away before he can snatch it up, examine it with his clever mind.

“Get some rest, okay? I’ll be here.”

You brush your lips to his forehead, intent on leaving him to do some reading in the main area of the ship. But right as you turn, his hand grasps your wrist.

“Can you stay?” Obi-Wan asks, his eyes bright. “Please.”

Oh, stars. You can’t say no to him. With a trembling sigh, you lower yourself into the cot, though there’s not much room. He makes a content sound in return, uttering the softest thank you into the crook of your neck before twining his limbs around you like a flowering vine. You don’t miss the light snuffle there, the exhausted sigh, like the weight of a planet is off his shoulders now that you’ve given him something as simple as your company.

You’re not so certain you’ll be getting much rest of your own, but the knowledge that he’s at ease is something, at least.

—-------------

Time always passes strangely in the clutches of space. It’s bad enough to spend hours flying through it, disrupting the schedule you keep in your head as the ship shifts from one system’s time zone to the next. But to sleep and then wake in the cold open place with only your ship to ground you, with no daylight or moonlight to indicate the passage of hours, is another thing. For a few moments, you don’t even remember how you ended up in the cot, when you know you should’ve been arriving on Hynestia by now.

Then you remember. Obi-Wan and his surprising admission that the two of you couldn’t continue and risk the welfare of those you had planned to assist. Finding him asleep in the short hallway with his comm in hand. Helping him here, into the cot, then joining him when he’d insisted. You’ve never seen him sleep before, and he’d slept so heavily, as if he intended to make for months of fatigue.

But now he’s gone. Again.

Can’t he stay in one place? You think in frustration, rolling out of the cot and onto your unsteady feet.

I heard that.

The teasing voice sounds in the center of your mind, like a stone cast into calm waters – making ripples before fading out once more. Shaking your head a little, you round the corner to find Obi-Wan sitting cross-legged at the table in the center of the ship, drinking a cup of what has to be tea. He raises a hand in greeting, and wearily, you return the gesture.

Oh, he does not look like the well-pressed and tidy man you know. His hair is mussed somewhat, beard scruffy, as if he hadn’t bothered to tend to either this “morning”. Instead of the regular tunics and tabards, he’s wearing only an undershirt and trousers – and one of the blankets dragged from the cot. Still, Obi-Wan seems in good spirits as you cross the distance and sink into the seat beside him, diligently pressing the back of your hand to his rather warm cheek.

“You’re becoming quite the little Healer, aren’t you,” he muses, smiling a little over the rim of his cup. Both of you know it was supposed to be a witty remark, but it comes out raspy.

The words make your ears burn. “Somebody has to be.”

You’re still thinking of how he’d grinned up at you from the floor – last night? A few hours ago? – his life Force unguarded at the peak of fever. Painted in every corner with his admiration for you, his trust. Even through how unwell he felt with the sickness coming over him, that was what shone through the brightest. That he could count on you. The value of that trust isn’t lost on you, though it’s something neither of you have ever spoken into existence. It’s echoed in your own heart, aching now with a certain tenderness for the man.

“Mm.” He puts his lips to your forehead, the gentlest brush of a kiss. The scent of cinnamon lingers where he’s been. “How’re you feeling?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Obi-Wan's brow wrinkles. “You could start showing symptoms at any time.”

The note of exasperation in his tone does nothing to you when he looks (and sounds) the way he does. You can only smile a little, grateful that he’s thought to worry about you. Though you feel fine; even if both of you were in Bormea at the same time, whatever Obi-Wan caught doesn’t seem to be affecting you. For now, anyway.

“I don’t feel sick,” you insist. “Tired, maybe. But you know what sleeping when you aren’t planetside is like.”

“We may be stuck for a while yet, I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan says. “I spoke to the Council last – well.” He frowns, like he too, isn’t sure of the time. “I spoke to them. They’re sending Master Allie out to see to the situation. And until my symptoms have cleared…”

“We’ll stay here?”

He nods. “As a precaution.”

“That…” you sigh. “That makes sense.”

Well, you can think of worse ways to spend your time. The two of you can settle into this ship with the nearby supply of unhealthy snacks and wait out the Bormean junk in his immune system. (Hey, no one has to know you’re not eating the stale rations the Council provides.) You’re never one to say no to spending more time with him, though he isn’t feeling his best. Even if it’s in your nature to want to see an assignment through to the end, you’ll have to make peace with the fact that this is your new task.

Something in that flash of life Force he’d given you earlier makes you even more eager to make sure he’s well again, to tend to him. Obi-Wan has never had a problem helping you, after all. Sparing a word of advice if you were fretting about saying the wrong thing on a diplomatic mission. Bringing you back your favorite treats from an Inner Rim planet. Correcting your saber form, pointing out a weak point in your stance. Never teasing or judging, like another Knight might tend to do – only guiding.

He drains the last of his tea, setting the empty cup down with a tired sound. You watch as he leans both elbows forward on the table, massaging at his sinuses. He closes his eyes, and after a moment, procures a handkerchief from his right pocket. It’s far from the first time you’ve seen it – deep blue and made of some fine material.

Obi-Wan always seems to have the thing on hand, if ever the need arises. Useful for small unexpected spills and all manner of things. Wiping gently at your arm once, when you’d gotten cut during a mission that’d gone downhill. Blotting at the caf Anakin had tipped over on the refectory table after standing up in a hurry. Those closest to Obi-Wan know he doesn’t much like things being untidy, and it’s become a point of teasing among friends. He only rolls his eyes at any ribbing.

And now he’s using it to tend to the end of his rather pink, irritated looking nose. That sort of thing shouldn’t fascinate you, yet your eyes seem drawn to the motion. As quick as it appeared, he stuffs it away again, the glimmering fabric winking a little in the ship’s overhead lighting. Obi-Wan catches your glance, a faint ??? tangible in the Force between you. You shield your mind quickly.

“Suppose we’d better at least try to adjust to the time,” you say, looking at your wrist and tapping your comm to life.

Something tells you your little segue isn’t quite as smooth as you wanted it to be. Too long of a pause follows, though Obi-Wan eventually gives you a nod, a small smile.

You busy yourself making more tea, and before long, the two of you settle into a comfortable silence. You’ve got a mission report to finish, and you’re certain that he’s buried in one of his holonovels. If the look of intense concentration on his face is any clue, it’s that newest one put out by his favorite author – Val Pavond. He’s been trying to read it for around a month now, but things have been so busy. Another benefit to being stored away in the ship.

An hour passes, perhaps more, with you tapping away at your report and Obi-Wan leaning forward to read. Then a sharp sound from your right makes you jump – scattering a typo into one of your final sentences. A hastily stifled sneeze, harsher than you've heard from him before. You look up to find Obi-Wan with the lower half of his face buried once more in the handkerchief, skin gone a blotchy pink. He sneezes again as you watch, and you find it in yourself to remember that you’re supposed to acknowledge this sort of thing instead of staring.

“Force guide you,” you say quickly. One of your hands rubs the back of your neck, in a lousy attempt to hide your burning face.

“Kriff – thank you.”

Irritated at how suddenly that had come over him, Obi-Wan shifts in his seat, struggling to get comfortable on the unyielding duraplast. (It doesn’t help that he sits like that, spread over the thing.) Though the Council had given you a ship big enough for two people, it’s not built for leisure. There’s the cockpit, this small table, the hallway and fresher, and the two cots built into the wall. Nothing more than what’s needed – not that you would expect there to be.

“And sorry,” he adds. He reaches over to place his free hand over your chest. “Frightened you, didn’t I?”

Sure. Let him think that that’s what he’d done. Abashed, you only nod, not trusting your voice to give the correct answer. You’re already busy keeping your life Force from bubbling over with nervous excitement. What kind of a Knight are you, falling apart over something so silly? If your Master knew what kind of thoughts you were having! Especially about someone in the Order.

Biting your lip, you place your palm over Obi-Wan’s own. There’s something that lingers in the look he gives you, something he won’t give away in the privacy of his own mind when you try to peek. All you know is that the air drips with tension, your heartbeat thundering, and that he’s getting to his feet before you can protest.

“Never thought I’d say this,” he begins, offering his hand, “but it’s more comfortable in the cot, hm?”

You let him lead you there, half in a daze, closing out your report. He's not wrong – your own back was starting to ache from sitting in the rigid chairs, each bolted to the ship's floor. The cots allow far more room to move, but sharing one also means you have to be closer. You know it's going to be harder to hide what your distressed mind is doing if you're lying next to one another. Nonetheless, you can't deny him. Obi-Wan edges in first, lying on his side, and you follow, feeling the cot dip under your combined weight.

"That's better," he murmurs.

"Much."

You speak in agreement, a shade faster than you needed to, and get answered with a chuckle. His arms open for you, and you find yourself compelled to edge forward into the embrace. The material of his undershirt is soft, well-worn and smooth against your skin. Out of habit, you press your fingers to his cheek once more, somewhat satisfied to not find him any warmer. Obi-Wan gives you a crooked smile, twining his leg over your hip, and the simple motion makes your pulse all but triple.

This isn't the first time you've lain together like this, in little private places around the Temple. Just having your bodies aligned shouldn't affect you and yet – well. You're discovering all kinds of things about yourself that you'd previously shoved down. The difference this time is that there's nowhere to run, no way to escape his inquiring mind. You're lucky you've gotten this far without him questioning your behavior. If Obi-Wan were healthy, he wouldn't hesitate to call you out for acting so strange.

"I really do wonder if you're alright."

Damn it all.

The comment comes after a few quiet moments, a contemplative thing as he plays with the sleeve of your tunic. Casual as anything, followed with a light sniffle. He's abandoned his holonovel as well, leaving both of you alone to regard one another. No distractions – only the sensations of skin so close to skin, the secrets you're trying to bury.

"Obi-Wan," you complain.

"I do," he insists, propping up on one elbow to press his own palm to your forehead. "You're flushed, sweetheart." Now he trails his fingers down, down to where your tunic opens at the neck. Two fingers press to your pulse point, and you know what he finds. "And your heart is racing. Do you feel dizzy? Lightheaded?"

"A little," you admit.

"Well, that's no good…"

Before you can tell him not to, you find Obi-Wan pressing against your life Force, gently searching for any further signs of pain or distress. As if he could draw any hurt right out of you with a concentrated touch. Little does he know that he’s about to find more than he was expecting. To your dismay, you’re close enough to see his eyes widen in surprise when you can’t hide it in time – your low hum of arousal and embarrassment.

The idea that you’ve been caught feeling something that you don’t even completely understand is more than you can bear. Shame rolls over you like a wave, drowning everything. You move to roll out of the cot, with no clue where you’ll go; it’s not as if you can leave. (A small, frantic part of your mind tells you to hide in the fueling station amongst the rows and rows of snacks.) Yet Obi-Wan calls your name, quiet but urgent, and the word freezes you.

“Please come back,” he says, voice begging.

Taking a deep breath, you obey, keeping your eyes focused on the fabric of the blanket between you. You feel the cot shift again as Obi-Wan folds his arms, moving to give you some space – or as much as he can, in such a small area. It’s a minute gesture, but you’re grateful for the effort. Your mind, too, remains uninvaded after what he’d stumbled upon. A beat of silence lingers between you before he clears his throat.

“Did I see something I wasn’t meant to, starlight?”

Your eyes flit up to his face, finding his expression as understanding and compassionate as ever, and it’s more than you can take. Disappearing behind your hands, you squish your eyelids into the meat of your palms until bursts of color bloom in the black, groaning out a humiliated noise.

“I don’t know,” you whine. “I guess it’s – it’s complicated?”

He’s tilting his head when you open your eyes to look again, curious and flushed – perhaps with more than fever. Knowing that you’re aroused is starting to affect him in turn, without even needing to know the cause. You can feel him, close as you are here, growing hard against your thigh. That in turn only sparks more interest from you, and more embarrassment, and oh, it’s all a tangled mess.

Obi-Wan doesn’t seem to mind. He carefully grabs hold of your wrist until it’s placed before his mouth, brushing a light kiss to the skin there. Then another, his mouth more open this time, breath hot and warm. You shudder, goosebumps breaking out over your arms. His familiar, green-blue eyes don’t leave your face as he brings your wrist down to the shared space between you, as if he’s trying hard to focus on what every reaction could mean. Though they’re glazed slightly and red-rimmed, the intensity in them isn’t lost in the slightest.

“What’s got you feeling like this?” he asks, keeping your hand in his. “I’m – well.” Obi-Wan grins. “I'm sure you can tell that I’m rather interested to know.”

“It – I –” you stammer. He waits, patient, letting you take your time to find the words. “I don’t even know what to say. You’re going to laugh at me.”

“Never,” comes his fervent reply. “Not when you’re looking at me like that.”

You’re sent a quick flash of how you look in Obi-Wan’s eyes, lying there with your cheeks hot and your gaze uncertain, Force glowing with that confused lust. How he so desperately wants to know what it all means. His breath comes short and quick, and you can tell that if this were any normal day, he’d pin you there right now, stamp wet kisses to the skin of your neck. It lingers in the air like the preface to a thunderstorm, how badly he’d like to touch you. As it is, he’s simply waiting, bewildered by your reaction and slowed by his body’s own irritating (in his own words) illness.

“I just…” you close your eyes, feeling the blush burn right down to the tips of your ears. “Like you. Like this. I don’t know why. I’m sorry, I know it’s…weird.”

“Hey. Can you look at me?”

His voice is low, persuasive, and you find yourself opening up to it after a moment or two of uncertainty. Obi-Wan gives you an encouraging smile when you glance up at him again, a brush of warmth in the Force around you.

“Sometimes we cannot help our interests. That doesn’t make us wrong or strange,” he begins. “And please don’t think for a moment that I’d think less of you for wanting me, even if the circumstances aren’t something I’d think of myself.”

“...Really?”

You can hardly dare to hope that his acceptance would come so easily. Every minute spent in his close company had been spent wondering if he'd reject you for this. Because although you know he's a patient Jedi, one of the best, this is a lot to unwrap. Yet here he is, proving yet again that there are so many reasons to adore him.

"Of course."

Swallowing, you allow yourself to think about what that means. You'll have to spend cycles here together, based on how long it takes him to recover. With your interests out in the open, that seems like an awfully long time to explore them. The idea that someone will just accept you makes your chest feel light, your heart almost giddy with relief.

"Can I kiss you?"

The question is out before you have time to be embarrassed. All you can do is search his face for the answer, finding only want in the air around you. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip in that cute, nervous way he has.

"If you're certain you don't mind the risk of catching what I've got."

You meld your body to his, loving the way it makes his breath hitch in excitement. Obi-Wan's leg returns to latch over your hip, pressing his very obvious arousal against your body, and you kiss him, full and hard. He rushes up to meet you, a needy gasp escaping him as your lips collide. The two of you rarely get alone time during missions, as much as you enjoy his company, and this feels beyond amazing to indulge in.

Feeling extra brave, you let one of your hands travel up to run through his hair, grasping it lightly at the back of his head. An outright burst of need lights up the back of your mind at the simple gesture, something raw in Obi-Wan's moan. He's been holding back, repressing the urge to put his hands all over you. As his concentration slips, you get more glimpses of how long he's wanted to touch you. Since the hasty assignment to Hynestia. Since Bormea – before then. And only now that you've made your own interest clear does he break.

You can't count the number of times you've ended up with him like this. Deep in the privacy of his room or yours, stealing quick glances behind you to make sure you weren't followed. Tangled in the Temple's familiar blankets, surrendering yourself to a sea of his worship. Now is much the same, though everything is marked with an edge of urgency. After several frantic minutes of kissing, you feel Obi-Wan lean forward, flipping you onto your back. The action steals your breath, making you arch into his body as he straddles your waist.

"Obi-Wan, please," you cry, though you can't even express what you're begging for.

"What are you asking for, darling?" He says in your ear, the lightest purr.

A thrill shoots up your spine at the lilt in his voice, how kriffing close you are to one another. It's as if your entire body thrums with your heartbeat, thrilled with how he'd accepted your quirk and him atop you and the comforting cinnamon-cedar smell of him everywhere.

"I want you," you whisper, arching your hips so slightly up.

The effect you have on him is instantaneous. Without any explicit detail, Obi-Wan knows precisely what you mean. He can probably taste your intention by now, his own nostrils flared as he pulls back to look at your face.

"God, I want that too."

His words are earnest, burning between you almost as hot as the fever-skin on his cheeks. The look on his face, the sheer desperation in his eyes, would bring you to your knees if you were standing. Obi-Wan means every syllable, and in this pocket of privacy, he isn't afraid to show you.

"But… I don't want our first time to be in some grungy little ship," Obi-Wan continues, his expression softening. "When I'm unwell and you could succumb at any moment. I want to give you…" he looks down, smiling, long eyelashes grazing his cheeks "...everything."

Your insides squirm, as if they're about to tie themselves in knots. No one else you've ever had eyes for has made you feel like this – whole and loved and real. Like you're the only person he'll ever look at like this. The only one in the room, in the galaxy, who matters.

"Okay," you tell him, the two syllables trembling with the outpouring of your emotions. His forehead dips down to touch yours, noses brushing.

"When I finally have you, sweetheart…" You whine as Obi-Wan's hips drop into yours, rutting up, forcing sounds of delight out of you to echo out into the hallway. "Neither of us will be able to move for hours. Would you like that?"

"Yes –"

You're arching back into him, tortured by the outline of his shape through the simple trousers, wishing there were less layers to contend with. His soft lips wreak havoc on the sensitive skin behind your ear, occasionally bringing his mouth up to your earlobe to bite and suck. Each of your hands is pinned between Obi-Wan's own, fingers entwined against the sheets, the position feeling too sinful to be allowed. Even if this is all you're doing, your body feels like it's on fire everywhere he touches.

"You feel amazing, starlight," he mutters, dragging the tip of his tongue along the shape of your ear. "Can't wait til we're finally home, til we can – f-finally –"

His voice hitches once, then twice, and it takes you far too long to realize that he's holding back from sneezing when the two of you are in this compromising position. When you register what's going on, he's turned away from you as much as possible, burying his face into the crook of his elbow.

"Force guide –"

Another sneeze, followed by an embarrassed groan.

" – you," you finish, laughing.

Obi-Wan rolls off of you a little, chuckling as he buries his face in the covers. His thanks is followed by a thick-sounding sniffle. You kiss his temple, the only part of him you can reach.

"Did you overdo it?"

"That's a possibility." His voice is muffled.

All you can do is shake your head, trying to get your breathing back to something that could be considered normal. In all the excitement, it was easy to forget that he's supposed to be resting. That you're the one who's supposed to be ensuring that he gets said rest. It's embarrassing how quickly you'd let the thought slip your mind, once he was on top of you.

"How about you relax for a while? Take a nap, maybe?"

Obi-Wan shifts to look at you, hair ruffled from where you'd pulled and cheeks still hot from a blush.

"If you insist," he says. You watch with quiet affection as Obi-Wan settles into the cot's pillows and blankets, thoroughly worn out by what transpired between you. "Though do wake me if the Council comms in, would you?"

"Sure."

—------------------

Almost a week later, your little ship lands at the Temple's docking station amid the usual busy Coruscant air traffic. Obi-Wan's whole and healthy and practically running circles, anxious to be out of the ship after so long cooped up. It makes you laugh, how similar he and Anakin are despite each claiming they couldn't be more different. Neither can sit still for long. They always need to be where the action is, even if they have contrasting methods of dealing with it.

"Thank goodness," he breathes as you step out of your ship and into the upper level air. "That was starting to feel like it would never end."

"I know what you mean."

Though you'd enjoyed the downtime with Obi-Wan as he recovered, you too have to admit to being antsy to get moving again. It doesn't feel right to be in one place when there are missions to go on, things to attend to here in the Temple. You were starting to get a little stir-crazy in there with only holonovels to read.

"The Council will want to speak with me, but after that…" Obi-Wan's eyes trail down your body, a bold move for being out in the open. "I believe I made you a promise, did I not?"

A thrill of anticipation shoots through you. You know exactly what he means. And even when the two of you part ways, the thought of what's implied lingers in your mind, ever-present, something you're very much looking forward to. You say your goodbyes, watching his retreating figure long after he disappears around a pillar. Strange, in a way, to be apart now.

You're about to return to your quarters when you feel a tug at your cloak. A gravelly little voice greets you from somewhere around your knee.

"Bring back the Felucian frog legs, you did?"

Master Yoda peers up expectantly. How he moves so quickly, you’ll never know.

"Oh! Yes, Master Yoda."

"Hmm. Very good."

He takes them from your satchel with obvious glee, handing you a few credits in exchange. Almost as soon as you'd noticed him there, Master Yoda vanishes, off to enjoy his greasy fueling station snacks in privacy no doubt. You're lucky that he was the only one who made a request. The last time you and your Master docked at a fueling station, it felt like half the Council wanted something from their home planets.

You shake your head, gazing up at the Temple steps with a pleased sigh. Strange as this place can be, it's home. And you can't wait for what's to come.