#'oh i wanna name my baby something special BUT NOT ACTUALLY UNUSUAL IN ANY WAY so ill just mash together some syllables-

[vent-blog-procced-with-caution]

I'm an autistic w/ fibro who's still trying to fully grasp the concepts ableism and saneism.

I don't want to push my uncomfortable relation to other kids back when i was in school on ableism. It wasn't because others expected the same social clearness of me as everyone else. It was because: I live in the countryside. I went to a small school. I'm a Jehova's witness. With parents who did not get along. With no relatives nearby. With a mother who was: -bossy, -overweight, -had water retention in legs, -diagnosed with depressions, -had cancer 2 times, -had a twin sister who died at 41 -had a mother who died of cancer, -died in her 50s of cancer, -an unaware psychopath. With a father who was dx'd with shizoid PD, which I read only recently, he didn't tell me what PD he has.

I was never just autistic, I was a weirdo in all sortsof ways. My life is strange and inconsistent in logic.

Susanna had 11 siblings, all with biblical names, she was un-self-aware-ly racist & right-leaning; she was homophobic, she didn't like Jehova's witnesses (knew nothing about them). looking back, I was pretty much begging her (and others) to tolerate me. Tolerate my religion, tolerate my fashion choices...

I knew more than them, I was smarter than them. My friendship with Susanna was humiliating.

(one day later)

around sixth grade i started wondering if everyone my age actually thought they were special; smarter than everyone their age; different. Was the only unusual thing about me actually my massive ego?

I knew me first. I thought others were different from me first, not that I was different from them. But I just did me!* It was a slow and maybe long foreshadowed "Oh. Others don't think/care about [...] as much as I do." ...other teenagers just believe what they're told, they just go along with the adults.

Where did all my thoughts come from? Why did I plan out how many toys/ books/ pieces of a specific toy or brand I wanted to own? I plotted my purchases, there had to be even numbers of everything by the end. I had a limit and plan of how many toys/collectibles I wanted. I stopped buying stuff after my planned collection was finished. (Though I started a new collection of brand-new barbies a while later and then 5 EverAfterDolls.) I had a phase of only wanting to go through holes (buildings and playground facilities) a certain amount of even times. I left everything the same way I entered it. I made sure I ate either 2 or 5 pieces of something, or a number that can be divided into packs of 2s and 5s. so any number from 7 up was safe.

I'm thinking about my experiences with echolalia.

I monolouge at the supermarket to be in alignment with what reasons I had for buying something, like what I wanted to use it for, when I planned to eat it, whether I have enough of something at home, if the nutrients are balanced out. I'm very obsessive and badly versed with nutrients. I can't eat cheesecake with nothing, it's not engaging enough in texture, taste or procedure. My parent messed up teaching me about food, I was guilted for eating what THEY had bought. She didn't teach me how to make healthy food, she neglected my food education. Most of what I have to guide me are her standarts for food.

I had weird psychological development, I went from being a baby to noticing I archieve this overhuman enlightment and that i can have this deep understanding i can't explain to Ines

my psycho-sexual fantasy/ traumamixedkink is getting beaten up, hurt, dominated, violated, abused, bullied, pushed around, scared, controlled, restrained, forced. so i can feel pityable? so that i feel the right to pity myself. ; My kink that is rooted deep in my psychology is outsiders getting beaten up and preyed on. I was an outsider, it was painful, i wanted to erase myself - school was traumatizing, i was burnt out, i don't wanna go back to being surrounded by stupid people

*I am a concious being, made choices

hyperactive imagination all my life. speak dialougue out loud for my filly posters and later imagined stories at night in bed or at daytime locked in bathroom. fantasize in bed at night for hours or long periods of time. i at least from 5yrs old on, fantazized about tied up humans, not ppl around me, no, female cartoon characters. cages & bars too. I didn´t tell anyone, i couldnot possibly explain, especially at that age, why i thought, fantasized about that. fetishistic kid. I wanted control when playing with other kids, I didn´t know what they were thinking. and i lived in a small world, i was self-centered.

Sometimes i think, was i a little psychopath as a small child? it creeps me out. Im kept wondering how much of what i experienced is common for kids. There are kooks in this world, one-of-a-kinds, i would really like to meet all of them. I was such a weirdo child. but my life is mundane too, i do unremarkable things. knowing i was the exception among my peers all my life, can´t be seperated from being alive & doing normal stuff, for me. I don´t really know what its like to grow up as an allistic child. I can do things like get out of bed, clean, eat cause they´re morally neutral in relation to my convictions. Posting on tumblr, i still have to figure out if it´s worth it, i mainly write an autobiography for later purposes, and I don´t have a program where i can have all my writing in one place. and making it public is smthng i don´t think about most of the time, its just a meaningless habit.

[dvanaestmrva]

Those people who want to desparately to make sure their baby is Visibly and Undeniably Most Special And Unique should just commit to the fucking bit and name their child Hyeronimous or Theophania or Desdemona or something like that.

[fandomscombine]

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle  Part 1 : Disastrous Childhood (Prologue)

TUA Series Part 1:  Disastrous Childhood

The Hargreeves siblings x Hargreeves!Reader (Familial Relationship)

An idea came to me at 2am after binging TUA S2 and rewatching S1 right after!

BG: The Reader is Number Eight. It follows how you fit into the structure of Season 1 and the family dynamic of the siblings.

This part follows when the young Hargreeves Siblings had their powers manifested and the development of The Umbrella Academy.

Contains: Sibling Angst and Fluff. Reginald being a crappy father but sometimes not really?

The series will consist of 10 parts. Where the reader would have a focused interaction with each sibling. (Eg. After this part, it would be Luther x Reader, then Diego x Reader and so on! –Yes Ben is included)

WC:2649

A/N: This is my first ever TUA fic and I’m doing a series. WOw ambitious I know. Anyways I hope you enjoy! And tell me how you feel about it!

>>MASTERLIST<<

>>THE HARGREEVES KERFUFFLE SERIES MASTERLIST<<

READ: [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

>>JOIN MY WRITING CHALLENGE!<<

~

On October 1, 1989, 43 women across the globe gave birth despite them not being pregnant when the day began. In news of this mysterious happenings, Sir Reginald Hargreeves immediately went out of his way to find as many of these special babies. He has successfully adopted 8 of these children and you were one of them.

One might think that when a person adopts not one, but eight kids would have so much love to give but they would be mistaken. Sir Reginald Hargreeves—Dad, was not a loving father. It would be a miracle for one to see the man show any other emotion apart from anger. Sir Reginald Hargreeves was distant and treated the children like they were experiments that the dynamic felt closer to a doctor/patient relationship. The children weren’t given actual names, only to be called by their numbers based on the order Sir Reginald Hargreeves had procured them. It was only when Grace, their robot mother insisted they have a real name, were the children given them. And so, the children were:

Number One - Luther Hargreeves

Number Two – Diego Hargreeves

Number Three – Allison Hargreeves

Number Four – Klaus Hargreeves

Number Five – Five Hargreeves

Number Six – Ben Hargreeves

Number Seven – Vanya Hargreeves

And finally,

Number Eight -  y/n Hargreaves

For 6 years, the only special thing about the children was that they were miraculously conceived and birthed within a day, the same day. However, on the 7th year , October 1 1996, more strange things started to happen to the children.

It first started with Ben at breakfast. Dad as usual is cold and strict more so in the early morning. ‘Sit up straight Number Six.’ He directed without even a glance up from his newspaper at hand.

‘Yes Sir.’

Beside him you place your hand on his and whispered, ‘You alright Ben? You look sick.’

He gulped. ‘Yea y/n.’ Wiping the cold sweat off his forehead.

‘You sure?’ you questioned, not buying it.

‘Umhmm never bett-----’

You expected vomit to come out but what happen next is something you would never though was possible.

Screams broke out everywhere.

You feel yourself being raised above the table. Looking down, you were 5 feet off the ground held by what seemed to be tentacles.

‘Take that!’ You hear some shout then a thud. Diego had brought down a knife to the tentacle that had suffocated him and in now laying on the floor covered in green blood.

The sight finally snapped you out of your shock, your fight or flight reflexes kicked in.

A quick sweep of your surroundings showed Five and Klaus on either side of you, they too are struggling with the ever-tightening grip of the monstrous arm.

While on the ground, Vanya and Allison are making their way to Ben in hopes of helping him control whatever all this that was coming out of his body. While Luther is fighting off the arms away from Diego who seem to have broken his leg from the fall.

Dad, Mom and Pogo are nowhere to be seen.

You move your head to the left, knowing that Klaus doesn’t do well in small spaces. ‘Klaus it’s okay buddy, Dad would find a way to fic this. Just breathe’ You choked out ‘Just breathe Klaus, everything’s gonna be alright.’

‘mmmm!’ That was Klaus’ only reply but you were thankful to see him to fidget less. He seemed to have taken your advice – how much of the second part of that advice be true, you genuinely don’t know.

You try to move your head to face the right towards Five but no dice. The arm was wrapping itself closer to your neck. ‘Five’ you call out, but it was barely a whisper. ‘five..’

‘Y/N!!’ Five’s scream was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

~

‘She’s broken a couple of ribs and sprained her neck. But’s she’s gonna be okay. Just needs time to rest.’

‘And how long would that time Pogo?’

‘She would need to say in bed for 2 to 3 months, Sir.’

You open your eyes and are greeted with blinding white light. Dad, Mom and Pogo surround your bed.

Grace tucks a stray hair behind you ear. ‘My baby, y/n. How are you feeling?’

‘Sore.’ You reply, noting the coarse sound of your voice. ‘How’s Ben? Klaus? Vanya?—’

Grace cut you off. ‘They’re all fine y/n. Though Ben is a bit roughed up.’ She says truthfully.

‘Number Six has appeared to have powers of summoning monsters with his body and he is currently under supervision.’  Reginald stated.

But something didn’t fit right. ‘But how did you calm him down? The whole fiasco back there was in total chaos?’ Voicing out all your thoughts and questions. ‘No one could get him to take back control, unless…..’ You couldn’t continue the thought. Your eyes go wide. There was no way. It was too harsh, but it was dad after all, he would do whatever means necessary to get what he wants.

Your dad smiles proudly ‘Ah yes. Y/n ever the cleverest of the bunch.’ You had observed that he had addressed you in your actual name instead of your number for the first time in your whole existence.  ‘Unfortunately, I had to sedate Number Six. You do understand that it was the only way.’

You open your mouth to argue.

‘No buts, Number Eight!’ Ah and now we’re back to number, you thought.

‘I’ll have Grace by you side whist you recover and Pogo here would relay your recovery progress to me daily.’

He was almost to your door when he faced you again. ‘Oh and Number Eight, When you feel something different or unusual. Do inform me of it immediately.’ And with that he left.

‘Pogo? What does he mean by feel different?’ Your nerves go up, worried about your siblings. ‘Is anyone hurt?’

Pogo sighs, after much contemplation he begins ‘Y/n dear. Today’s happenings uncovered that there are stranger yet special things about you children.’

You nod, not wanting to interrupt but also wishing he would hurry up and continue.

‘Ben isn’t the only one who have gotten powers today. During the kerfuffle, Diego has shown skill with a knife, Luther immense strength and Five had shown ability to teleport.’

Once again you found yourself in shock.

‘Your father has gotten the idea that you children have varying power wish are “activated” so to speak when reached the age of 7.’

‘Haha-OW’ You clutch your side.

‘Careful y/n, try not to do sudden movements—yes and that includes laughing too.’ Mom says, caressing your cheek.

‘When can I see them?’

‘I’ll try to persuade Reggie to allow them for a visit dear. But now I need you to rest.’

~

Sibling Visits are limited to 30 mins a day, right before the bedtime curfew.

All your siblings (expect Ben who was still under strict supervision and is recovering himself) came to see you the following night.

Allison was the first one through your door and ran to give you a hug. ‘Y/n! We are all so worried!’

‘Aww thanks—OW OW OW’

‘Oops sorry’ releasing you from her death grip of a hug.

Seeing that movements still hurt you. The rest opted not to hug you, Klaus and Diego held your hand, Vanya is sitting on the edge of you bed, Luther gave you forehead a quick kiss and Five being Five, greeted you with the typical sibling teasing. ‘Glad to see you not drop dead in front of me.’

Diego showed off his leg cast and asked you to sign it, which you happily did so. Signing ‘Badass as always. -y/n’ beside Ben’s note of ‘Diego is cooler than Batman’

The 30 minutes consisted recaps of what happened the day before, the gushing of the boys showcasing their powers and debating on who’s the most powerful.

And just like that, the time was up and each had to go to bed. Everyone kissed your head for goodnights, even Five.

‘You know I love you right?’ His eyes softer than you ever seen before

‘I know’

‘You really scared me yesterday when you blacked out.’ Five had his tough façade down. ‘I thought you died y/n.’

‘But I didn’t.’ You reach up to wipe his tears away. ‘It’d take something bigger, if you wanna get rid of me.’

He chuckled. ‘Night, y/n’

‘Good night, Five.’

~

3 weeks had passed, and your siblings never failed to visit you. Over that time, Klaus and Allison had manifested their powers. Klaus can conjure the dead while Allison could ‘rumor’ people to her will.

Ben came by 2 weeks later. His color is back to normal, not like the blueish tint it had the last time you saw him. Though he still had a few remnants of bruises and scars across his arms and face.

‘I’m sorry y/n.’ He said leaning on your door frame.

‘Ben!’ You exclaimed. ‘I’m so glad you’re back up and running!’

Ben was caught off guard. ‘You—You’re not mad at me?’

‘Why would I be mad at you?’ You questioned, genuinely confused at your brother’s words.

‘Cause, Cause I almost got you killed. I am a monster.’

You sat up straight at those words, your ribs hurt a bit at the sudden movement, but you didn’t care. Your brother was blaming himself for something he couldn’t have controlled.

‘NO BEN!’

Ben jumped from your sudden outburst.

You motioned for him to come closer.

‘Ben…’ looking into his eyes. ‘Ben you are no monster.’

‘But—’

‘uuh uh I’m not done’ You held his hand in yours. ‘You are no monster what happened then was an accident, nobody knew, heck nobody expected powers to just show up. It was beyond anyone’s control. It took us by surprise.’

His shoulders relaxed.

‘It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

He gave you a bone crushing hug. ‘Thank you y/n. You don’t know how guilty I was feeling.’ Voice muffled by your shoulder, which is now wet with his tears. ‘I kept thinking about the pain I caused you and I wasn’t allowed to leave my room even when I begged dad to see you and say sorry. y/n’

‘Shhh shhh’ Rubbing his back. ‘It’s alright Ben. What’s important is that we’re all here now. Alive, Safe and sound.’.

~

You still have a month left for recovery.

Only you and Vanya are the one left who haven’t had their powers revealed.

Dad had created a group called ‘The Umbrella Academy’ in which he trained your super powered siblings. He even given them codenames to go along with their newfound powers.

Number One - Luther Hargreeves aka Spaceboy

Number Two – Diego Hargreeves aka The Kraken

Number Three – Allison Hargreeves aka The Rumor

Number Four – Klaus Hargreeves aka The Séance

Number Five – Five Hargreeves aka The Boy

Number Six – Ben Hargreeves aka The Horor

With this new training program comes with the downside of spending less time with your siblings. Your traditional Sunday afternoon sister bonding time Allison and Vanya is basically non-existent now. Sure the rest of siblings still drop by to check up on how you’re recovering but it is not as frequency as they once were- you totally understand though, it must be tiring to be part of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ but girl were you still hurt and wanted more than anything to be a part of it.

So, you spend most of your time with Vanya nowadays. You didn’t mind, it is nice to have someone along. Most of the time Vanya practices her violin in your room.

‘That was beautiful Vanny’ you commented after she finished a rendition.

‘Thanks y/n’ Her face flushed. ‘Maybe someday I’d be a famous violinist!’

‘I know you would.’ You say truthfully. ‘And I better get the best seats at your concerts okay? Nothing short of VIP treatment for your favourite sister!’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Allison would get that.’ Vanya teased.

Placing a hand dramatically to your chest ‘uhh I am offended! I thought I was your favourite sister!’

‘well... you thought wrong.’ Vanya tried to keep a straight face but failed. ‘You y/n are the VVIP guest!’

‘Now that’s more like it.’

~

That night you were tossing and turning in your bed.

In the training room, huge boulders were being tossed onto Luther’s back. He currently had 3 on him. ‘More’ he cried. It was an impressive feat to see. A 7-year-old carry the what had to be at least 5 times his weight.

It was at his 6th block when his legs start to shake.

‘Straighten up Number One!’ Reginald voice came through the speakers.

‘I-I’

‘Fix your posture! And stop babbling!’

He was trembling all over, the weight was far too much and carried far too long for just a young boy.

Any second now, he is gonna be crushed by the boulders.

‘LUTHER!’ You screamed. Cold sweat was plastered all over your face. You were still in your room- but it all felt so real.

You look over to your bedside table, 9:07

Training would have started an hour ago. You had time.

You took the stairs two at a time, bursting into the training room. ‘STOP’

Reginald stood from his seat. ‘Number Eight. What in the world are you doing here?’

‘STOP! Luther is gonna get hurt please stop it--.’ Ignoring his question.

‘Number Eight, what are you talking about? Number One is doing perfectly fine!’ He gestured towards the front.

He was right. Luther looks fine. In fact it looked like it was carrying a light backpack instead of 3 boulders. ‘But- But I saw—’ Then it hit you 3 boulders. 3 not 6.

‘More’ You heard him cried out, just like you had in your nightmare.

You stared at Luther, how could this be?

‘I saw him sir, he is gonna collapse from 6 boulders.’

At this, Reginald took interest. ‘You saw?’

‘Yes, I-I must have dreamt it.’ You slumped against the free chair, defeated. ‘but it felt so real.’

‘Let me everything you saw, and don’t miss a single detail’

And so, you did. By the time you finished, Luther was with his 6th block.

It was exactly like how things went down in your dream. ‘No No NOOOO!’

‘Release him!’ Reginald called at the last second. Standing he faced you. ‘Now y/n dear would you please come with me.’

He didn’t speak again until you were both in his office. ‘It seems to me Number Eight that your powers have finally manifested.’

‘what—’

‘A slight delay compared to your siblings, but I presume that it was due to you recovering from your injuries that your body had focus on your recovery first then powers.’

‘What about Vanya? Would she have powers?’

‘It seems that Number Seven has no powers gained.’ Standing in front of you. ‘But no matter now, what’s important is that you’ve got them.’ He placed his hands on your shoulders. ‘You would do great things Number Eight. To see into the future is a valuable asset to have indeed. For this I shall name you Foresight.’

This was it! You own codename!

Number Eight -  y/n Hargreaves aka Foresight.

‘I’m gonna be part of The Umbrella Academy?’ Overjoyed by your father taking pride in you that every other thought left your concern.

‘Yes Foresight. You will.’ Standing straight again. ‘However, your training would only start once you have fully recovered.’

‘Thanks Dad.’ Hugging him and for once showed the affection back.

You wish you could say that it was at this point where you and your siblings finally gotten a loving and healthy childhood. But you were wrong. Things only deteriorated from here on out with the Hargreeves household and by extension the dissolve of The Umbrella Academy.

END OF PART 1

READ: [PART 2] [PART 3]  [PART 4]

Taglist [All]: @gruffle1

Taglist [TUA]: @herecomesthesun1969  @ultraviolet-m​ @winterierwriter @lordofthunderthr​  @alabaster1223

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Bewitched

 Bewitched Spotify Playlist

Bewitched - Hoseok x Reader (m) - Witch AU

Summary: You have a magical secret to share with your boyfriend, and things don’t go as planned.

Warnings: a little shadow play (you’ll see what this means when you read it), lots of praise, this is actually super soft smut for Hobi because reader is in her feelings, reverse cowgirl bc I dig it, BIG FUCKING ANGST (but a sweet ending)

Word Count: 2588

☪️ Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you☪️

You make him tea, every morning. It's a special blend, going back decades...centuries...among the women in your family, always served to husbands, every single day.

Your mother served it to your father. Your grandmother served it to your grandfather. It was all you’d ever known, and you’d never thought to do things differently...at least...until Hoseok proposed.

You are fighting tears when you brew this cup, the final cup, the special cup, for your fiance, Hoseok.

He tilts his head when you bring it to him, giving you that bright smile.

You hitch in a shaky breath when you sit next to him, and he automatically takes your hand.

"I...I have some things to tell you. Some...big things." You're twisting your engagement ring around your finger with your thumb.

Hoseok nods. “Okay, baby. I’m all ears.”

He flicks his ear with his unoccupied hand, grinning at you, and squeezes your hand.

You know he’s trying to make you smile but when you do, it’s shaky, your lip trembling.

He shifts nervously on the couch, pivoting toward you. “Baby...you can tell me anything. Nothing you tell me can make me love you any less.”

You let out a watery laugh, tears pooling in your eyes. “But it actually will, Hobi. You don’t understand.”

He’s takes a sip of his tea, and for that you’re grateful. You couldn’t do this after, when things began to fade, when he started to grow distant.

You sigh and take your hand from his to thumb the edge of the port wine birthmark cradling your cheekbone, a crescent mark. 

Hobi smiles at you, replacing your thumb with his own, and when you blink tears spill down your face.

“It isn’t a birthmark,” you choke out.

Hoseok’s smile fades just a little. “What do you mean? It’s a scar, or-”

“It’s a witch mark,” you burst out.

Your mother’s had been on her collarbone. Your grandmother’s on the small of her back. Your sister? The inside of her wrist.

Your witch mark was emblazoned on your face, showing the strength of your magic.

You tell him all this, try to explain, and he doesn’t even quite lose his smile, shaking his head a little in disbelief.

“Oh, baby, if you’re Wiccan or something it’s not a big deal -”

You huff out a breath and stand up, taking a few steps back from him. “I’m not Wiccan, Hobi. It’s not like that. It’s not a religion or a belief system it’s...I practice magic. I have it in my blood and I can do things and... and I’ve been lying to you, all this time.”

He laughs a little, bewildered, and you can see this is getting you nowhere.

“Close your eyes.”

He gives you a look but he closes them, leaning back against the couch.

You take another step back and harness your magic for what seems like the first time in forever, reaching out your shadow self, dusky black shadows caressing Hoseok’s chest, flipping back the collar of his shirt.

The shadows move in tendrils, popping a button, and Hoseok makes a surprised sound in his throat and opens his eyes. Seeing you across the room, he looks down and screams at the top of his lungs.

Your shadow retreats in a rush, sweeping back into your aura and you feel suddenly cold, shoulders slumped, miserable.

This is when he goes, and it’s all for the best, really, it’s better than when-

Your thoughts are cut off by Hoseok’s scream fading into a yelp and he stands, coming toward you with his arms out and you know you should resist but you only have one night before it’s all over, anyway, and you huddle into his arms, hiding your face against his chest. His heart is beating rapidly against your ear.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, I was just...I was surprised. It’s okay. Don’t cry. I love you, my spooky little girl.” He babbles, kissing the top of your head and you sniffle a bit, lift your head to look at him.

You open your mouth but he leans down to kiss you and you can’t tell him, after all, not yet. Not yet.

“You’re not...you’re not mad?” You ask in a weak voice.

Hoseok smiles down at you when you break apart.

“Mad? You can touch me with your hands and the...the shadow?” He falters a little but then his smile turns a little wicked. “That could be fun.”

You can’t help the laugh that rips from your throat. “It could be.”

“You wanna try it out?” He leans down to nip at your neck, making you laugh again, making your chest feel lighter than it has all night, and you ignore the thoughts pushing in, ignore everything but the way his hands feel slipping up the back of your shirt.

You smile, the first real one of the night, and push at his chest lightly. “Sit down.”

“Yes ma’am,” he teases, sitting down on the couch, legs spread wide, eyes sparkling up at you.

You close your eyes to call up your shadow self again, pushing out to make the tendrils slip down his chest, and he lets out a surprised gasp, looking down.

He chuckles a little, nervously, as your shadow fingers unbutton his fly, and you open your eyes to smile at him. 

“We’ll take it slow, yeah?” You tease.

“I’m not scared,” he says defiantly, tilting his face up, but when you release him, he lets out a relieved sigh. “But we’ve got all the time in the world, yeah?”

Your smile fades a bit but you don’t think about it, you can’t think about it, not now, not yet.

You turn to tease him, sliding your shorts down off your ass, bare underneath and bending over slightly to throw him a smirk over your shoulder and he groans low in his throat and grabs you around the waist, tugging you into his lap.

He rolls his hips against your bare ass and the denim feels scratchy against you but you lean back against his chest as his hands come around to cup your breasts under your shirt, his mouth on your neck.

You hope he marks you, hope he bites you hard so that it’ll keep, a deep tissue bruise that you can feel ache for days, anything of him that might linger. 

He’s shifting to pull down his jeans and underwear, exhaling against your skin, his movements rough and almost desperate, and you wonder if he senses it, somehow, that he senses that you’re short on time because he lives to tease you.

His fingers are skating down your stomach to your sex, sliding through your wetness but instead of teasing this time he just spreads you so that he can thrust up beneath you and the sudden stretch burns just the right way, making you cry out his name.

Hoseok rolls up beneath you slow, deep, his hands on your thighs, spreading them apart and you focus on how he feels inside you, how happy he makes you, how everything about him feels like home and it’s easier, for a moment.

“Do you remember what I said to you?” He murmurs into your ear, and you’d  been rolling back against him but now you still, and he takes the opportunity to slide his fingers to your inner thighs and then to roll your clit between two long fingers, almost painstakingly slow.

You keep quiet, waiting for him to continue, and he keeps up his slow, steady pace.

“The first night. The first night I saw you.”

Your throat is suddenly choked with tears, and you shift your hips to distract him, hoping he thinks the hoarseness is from lust.

“You said-”

“I knew I’d find you,” he says, repeating the first words he’d said to you, after you’d seen him across the bar and sent him a drink in a moment of impulsivity. “You know why I said that?”

You swallow hard around the lump in your throat. “Because you knew,” you say, hoping your voice isn’t as flat as you feel.

“I knew,” he agrees. “I knew it was you, baby. I knew you were my girl, then and there.” 

He kisses your temple, one hand gripping your hips so that he can fuck into you harder, faster, just like you needed and you’re crying and coming at the same time.

It’s quick, it’s all so quick, time seems to be moving faster and faster and you’re sobbing when he spills inside you, murmuring praises into your ear, kissing up your throat.

It’s not unusual, you crying because he made you come so hard but when he lifts your hips to turn you to face him, your expression makes his face fall.

“Oh, Y/n. Baby. It’s okay. It doesn’t change anything. So you’re a witch. You’re my witch, yeah? My spooky girl.” 

He’s trying to tease you but you can’t stop crying, trying to hide your face in his neck but he tilts your chin up, frowning.

“It isn’t real. How you feel, Hoseok, it’s isn’t real, it’s magic, it’s this potion, that fucking tea that I bring you every morning,” you babble, hitching in breaths, and he just cups your face, thumbing your tears away, his eyes so full of love it makes your chest feel like it will crack.

“I don’t care,” he says, chuckling, kissing your witch mark. “I would’ve loved you anyway, baby.”

“No. No, you wouldn’t. You won’t,” You insist, scrambling off his lap despite his protests.

“What...what are you talking about, Y/n? Everything’s fine. We’re getting married,” He huffs, frustrated, something like fear flashing across his face.

You’re shaking your head, sobbing. “It’ll be over soon. There’s a...there’s a reversal potion and you’ll forget me. You’ll forget everything.”

Now he’s shaking his head, his eyes flashing. “Stop it. Don’t be ridiculous. I won’t drink it. I’ll keep drinking the tea you make me, every day.”

You just hide your face in your hands when he gets up, slamming cabinet doors, ripping out bags of tea and herbs that you keep for your spells.

“Where is it?” He roars, and you don’t answer, feeling like you can’t breathe for the sobs ripping from your chest.

He stalks back into the living room, holding fistfuls of herbs, and instead of throwing them at your face like you expect, he drops to his knees in front of you on the couch, looking up at you with the most panicked expression, and you don’t know how it’s possible to hurt this much.

“Which one?” He asks, his tone softening when it cracks, tears filling his eyes. “Baby, just tell me which one. I’ll get rid or it. We won’t have to think about it ever again.”

You just shake your head.

“I won’t drink it,” he says stubbornly. “You can’t make me drink it.”

“It’s too late,” you gasp out between sobs. You point toward the abandoned teacup on the coffee table and his face. You’ll never forget it, as long as you live.

“I didn’t....I didn’t drink it all,” he says hoarsely, burying his face in your stomach. “I didn’t drink it all, maybe it won’t work.”

You drop your hand to his head, stroking, a sad smile lifting one corner of your mouth. “Maybe,” you say shakily, but you know. You’d been over and over this in your spellbooks, it only takes a drop. It was the only way you could be sure.

“Or maybe...maybe you’ll find someone else. Someone more suited...whoever you were meant to find...” you trail off, the idea of it too much to bear and he’s shaking his head against your stomach.

“It’s you, Y/n. It’s always been you.” He chokes back a sob and lifts his head to look at you. “It will always be you.”

You stroke his face. “Okay, baby,” you croon, knowing it’s only a few moments until it’s over, until he falls asleep and then you can sneak out with your tail between your legs, take the bags you’ve packed and stashed in the closet.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll find you again,” he says fiercely, leaning up to kiss you hard, hungry, his hand rough on the back of your head.

When you break a part his eyes look glassy and you hitch in a breath, knowing it’s close.

“Let’s go to bed, baby. You look tired.”

“I am tired,” he agrees, and he lets you help him up, a bit unsteady from the potion and you’re so grateful that it will put him to sleep because you wouldn’t be able to take it otherwise.

When you get him on the bed he pulls you into his arms, hiding his face against your throat. 

“Is that what I said?” He mumbles, and you almost stop breathing.

“What, baby?” 

“When we met...the night we met...I said something about...about finding you? I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember?” He lifts his head to look at you and you feel like you might be bleeding somewhere inside, it hurts so much.

“You’re just tired, baby. Close your eyes.”

He doesn’t listen, though, your sweet, stubborn man.

“Why are you crying? Did we...did we have a fight?” He looks at you, stroking your face, his brow furrowed, and you shake your head and smile through your tears.

“No, baby. We didn’t. Everything’s fine. Everything will be fine in the morning.”

He’s still frowning when he closes his eyes, breathing evening slowly and you lie burrowed into his chest for as long as you can, for hours.

You disappear, just as you’d planned. It’d happened after he proposed, the guilt, the worry that he wouldn’t be here with you without the potion, how you might be manipulating him and it spirals until you just can’t think anymore, you have to take action.

It isn’t until a month later, when your friends drag you out to a bar downtown, that you see him.

It’s just a look, one glance across the bar but it brings everything back and you wish you’d taken the memory potion instead of wanting to keep the memories because they wash over you, threatening to drown you.

The way he looked down on one knee, how he smiled at you so bright when you said yes, and you’re still wearing his ring around a chain on your neck and you can’t breathe.

There’s not even an ounce of recognition on his face, but he smiles at you, all the same, and you bolt toward the restrooms, feeling like you might vomit.

Before you can slam the door there’s a hand on your shoulder and you stop in your tracks.

Hoseok is breathless when you turn to face him, and his face breaks out in a big smile. 

“There you are. I knew I’d find you.”

☪️ ☪️ ☪️

You find out later, after you’re wearing his ring again, after he kisses away all your tears and remembers everything, drinks your tea so that he can remember, that it was never a true love potion at all.

Your mother laughs when you tell her, and explains that it only works to move things alone, that it didn’t work unless it was already meant to.

“I told you,” he says, when you’re lying in his arms after he remembers everything, after he kisses you breathless and claims your body in every way he knows how.

“Told me what?” 

“I told you I’d find you again.”

[rushingheadlong]

Take Me Home Tonight - A Brian x Reader smut fic

Summary: You’re not expecting Brian May, of all people, to walk into your record shop late one evening, but when he asks you to go home with him you’re certainly not going to pass on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have all your fantasies fulfilled.

Wordcount: ~4,600

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, oral (m&f receiving), fingering, a bit of size kink

Notes: Written for a request from @hodgepodge-of-rog, who asked for Reader meeting Brian somewhere public and being star struck, and Brian taking her home for some fun. This got away from me so it’s a bit longer than expected, but I hope you like it!

You bite back another sigh and try to resist looking at the clock again. It’s not that you thought working in the little record shop was a particularly exciting gig when you applied for the job, but the business was tucked away off the high street and rarely saw customers on weeknights, leaving you with nothing to do for the long hours of your shift and frequently bored out of your mind.

Luckily it’s almost time for you to close the shop- but, of course, that’s when the little bell above the door rings, signalling the arrival of your first customer in nearly four hours.

“Good evening!” you chirp, sounding much more perky than you feel. “Do you need help-?”

The rest of the question is lost as you finally take a good look at the customer: a tall man with a shock of long, dark curls, wearing sunglasses that don’t really work as an effective disguise. Holy fuck that’s Brian May!

He glances in your direction with a polite smile, and then does a quick double-take as his grin becomes a bit more genuine. “No thanks. I know what I’m looking for, and I know you’re closing soon.”

And yeah, that is definitely Brian May. You’d recognize his voice anywhere- how could you not? He’s your favorite member of Queen, has been since the very earliest days of the band. You’ve seen them perform live countless times, screamed yourself hoarse at so many of their shows throughout the years, and you thought the time that you weaseled your way to stand by the very front of the stage would be as close as you ever got to any of them.

But that was before Brian freaking May walked into the tiny record shop where you worked.

You swallow roughly, trying to bring some moisture to your suddenly-dry mouth, and say, “Take your time, there’s no rush.” Not the sentiment you’d have for any other customer, this time of night, but you’re in no rush for Brian to leave.

“I’ll still be quick,” Brian says with another grin that makes your knees go weak. His gaze lingers on you for a few moments longer, and although his eyes are hidden behind his dark sunglasses you can feel the intensity behind his stare. It’s a heady rush, having your rock idol focus on you like that, and you can feel your face start to flush at the attention.

Or maybe it’s just unusually warm in the shop tonight, because Brian looks a bit pink around the edges as well as he turns to start browsing through the records.

You try not to ogle Brian as he shops but there’s not exactly anything else for you to do and you find your focus wandering back to him despite your efforts. Somehow he seems both larger-than-life and surprisingly down-to-earth, seeming at home in the cramped aisles of the store but with something about the way he carries himself that makes it obvious he’s someone special.

And the fact that he’s easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either. Even in normal clothes and trying to be discrete Brian is still just about one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen. You let yourself entertain a familiar fantasy of Brian asking you back to his place… but no, things like that didn’t happen in real life, and you were determined to be polite and not a giant creep to Brian.

Okay, keep it cool, just keep it cool… You repeat to yourself as Brian finally makes his way towards the register, but then all thoughts go out the window because Brian is there, right in front of you, and you feel like you could either faint or scream from the excitement of it all.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” you ask, and how you manage to keep your voice from wavering when you’re this close to Brian May you have no idea. Christ, the man even smells good…

“Yeah I did, thanks,” Brian says, still with an easy smile on his face.

You look down at the album that Brian hands you and despite your best efforts you can’t hold back a bark of laughter. “You’re joking.”

Brian bristles, just a little, and his smile fades away. “Judging my taste in music?”

“No, but…” You flip the record around so the cover of the latest Queen release is facing Brian. “You’re buying your own album? Seriously?”

“Right.” Brian visibly relaxes and he laughs a little as well, though it sounds a bit sheepish. “Guess my disguise didn’t work too well then, huh?”

“Well, not on me, at least,” you say. “I’ve been going to your shows since before John signed on as your bassist, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every interview you’ve ever given. It’ll take more than a cheap pair of sunglasses to fool me.”

Brian stares at you in surprise. It’s only then that your brain catches up with what you’re saying, and you can feel your face go bright red with embarrassment. But then Brian chuckles and finally takes off his sunglasses (oh, his eyes are gorgeous...) and says, “Well, I’ll try to come up with something better for next time. Any suggestions?”

Brian sounds like he’s teasing you, but it’s not malicious. On the contrary, it’s almost… flirty? Or maybe you’re just too caught up in your fantasies and reading too much into his words.

Still, because you know you’ll never get another chance you flick your eyes up and down his body, just once, and decide to risk a joke. “Maybe if you button your shirt up all the way, that’ll do the trick…”

“What, and hide all my assets?” And, yeah, there’s no mistaking the fact that Brian is definitely flirting with you.

“Seems to me like you have plenty of other fine assets,” you tease, and Brian’s bright laugh in response feels like a victory, even if it’s accompanied by him pulling out his wallet to pay for the record.

Still, you don’t want this conversation to end and you are curious about what he’s doing here, so after you ring him out you ask, “I have to know, why are you buying your own album?”

“Would you believe that Roger bet me a tenner that I wouldn’t be able to do it without getting mobbed by fans?”

You think about that for a moment. “Actually, yeah,” you say, which causes Brian to laugh again. “Sorry for making you lose the bet, then.”

“Hm? Oh, no, I don’t think chatting with you counts as being mobbed,” Brian says. “I’ve quite enjoyed meeting you, actually. What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” Your heart is fluttering in your chest from the attention and the smile on Brian’s face, and all your promises that you weren’t going to be an overbearing fan have completely left your mind as you muster up the courage to ask, “Listen, I totally understand if the answer is “no” but do you want to grab a drink with me?”

You’re expecting him to turn you down, but instead his smile gets brighter and he says, "I'd love to get a drink with you, but if we go out I actually will end up being mobbed. Would you like to come back to my place instead?" Your mouth drops open in a small “o” of surprise and Brian is quick to continue. “Just for drinks. Doesn’t have to be anything more.”

Doesn’t have to be… There’s an offer in that delicate phrasing that restarts your brain, and you need to know if the two of you are on the same page here before this gets any further. “And if I want there to be more?” you ask, and the hunger in Brian’s eyes is answer enough.

“Then I think that can be arranged,” he says, in a low voice that causes a bolt of lust to go through you.

“Then yeah,” you say, a slow and wide smiling growing on your face. “Take me home, Brian May.”

----------

Brian kisses you before his front door is even fully closed, pressing you against the wall of his entryway and devouring you with a passion that you haven’t felt from any of your previous partners. You gasp, the noise swallowed up in Brian’s mouth, and wrap your arms around Brian’s neck, pulling him in closer to you.

When he finally breaks the kiss it’s only to pull back enough to ask, “What do you want tonight, love?”

You shudder at the sound of Brian calling you love and tell him, completely honestly, “Anything you want to give me.”

Brian kisses your lips again, a little softer, and then trails kisses along your jawline and down your neck. You arch into his touch, and you can feel him smile against your skin. “I want to make you feel good,” he murmurs, and you can’t hold back a whimper.

“It’s you, Brian. Whatever you do will be good.” It’s as close as you can bring yourself to admitting that you’ve thought about this for years, gotten yourself off countless times to the thought of Brian’s hands and mouth on you. You don’t even care if Brian doesn’t live up to your fantasies because this is real, and already so much more than you ever expected to have.

“That’s a lot of confidence to have in me,” Brian says, as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt, fingers skimming lightly along your skin, and you gasp at the gentle touch. “Better make sure I don’t disappoint you then.”

He tugs up your shirt and you quickly pull it off. One of Brian’s hands immediately moves up to your breast, cupping and massaging it through your bra, and you can’t hold back a moan. Brian’s other hand flicks open the button on your jeans and slowly, teasingly, pulls down the zipper.

“Wanna taste you, baby,” he murmurs as his fingers tease at the open V of your pants, driving you wild even though he’s barely touching you at all. “Gonna let me eat you out right here? Gonna let me taste that pussy of yours?”

“Fuck, Bri, yes,” you moan. “Yes, god, please-”

Brian chuckles and hooks his fingers through your belt loops, slowing dragging your jeans down your legs. You step out of them and go to take off your panties as well but Brian stops you. He sinks to his knees in front of you, and that picture is enough to get you absolutely dripping.

You whimper as Brian gently nudges your legs a little further apart and runs one finger slowly, gently, along your core. “You’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” he murmurs, his breath hot against the bare skin of your thighs. “Already so eager for this, and we’ve barely even started…”

“Brian…” you whine, hips bucking into his teasing touch. Brian looks up at you, smirking, and finally tug your panties down.

You unhook your bra and toss it aside as you kick your panties away, and as soon as they’re gone Brian’s mouth is on you. You cry out at the first flick of his tongue against your core and you bring your hand to your mouth to muffle the sounds of you falling apart embarrassingly quickly.

“Come on baby, let me hear you,” Brian says, before licking along your entrance, his tongue dipping in just enough to set your whole body ablaze. You pull your hand away just as Brian’s tongue circles your clit and without thinking you reach out for him, burying your hand in his hair and trying not to pull as he keeps his attention focused on your clit.

He sucks gently at the nub, making you moan and writhe against the wall, but pulling back just when you’re on the brink of coming to lap at your entrance again. You can feel your wetness start to drip down your thighs but Brian doesn’t pull away, keeping his mouth buried against your core and his tongue teasing at your entrance until you’re practically grinding against his face in your desperation to come, before he finally moves back to flick kittenish licks over your clit again.

You’re so worked up that even that gentle stimulation is almost too much to bear. “Bri, I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” you pant and you get a glimpse of Brian’s smirk, before he brings a hand up and sinks one finger inside you.

You let out a choked-off gasp before you’re coming hard against Brian’s face, hand tangled in his hair as you hold him in place, his tongue working your clit and finger gently moving inside you as he works you through your orgasm. He doesn’t stop until the pleasure nearly becomes painful, until your keening moans turn to high-pitched whimpers and your knees finally buckle underneath you.

Brian catches you, laughing a little, and presses you against the wall to keep you upright as he stands back up. His face is wet with your slickness and he goes to wipe his mouth with the back of one hand, but before he gets a chance you lean up and kiss him fiercely. You can taste yourself in his mouth, a visceral reminder that Brian gave you what may be the best oral you’ve ever received, and when Brian groans and rocks against your hip his hardness is a welcome reminder of everything still come.

“God, Brian,” you pant between kisses. “I want-”

“Yeah? What do you want, baby girl?” Brian asks, one hand creeping up your body to tease along the edge of your breast and you arch into his touch.

“Wanna suck you,” you tell him, and reach down to palm Brian’s cock through his jeans. “Please, Bri…”

Brian groans lowly and presses against your hand, his head dropping down as he pants against your neck. “Fuck, Y/N, you think I’m gonna say no to that?”

You laugh, breathless, and let Brian lead you further into the house, back into the bedroom where he finally strips out of his shirt and you tug open the fly of his jeans, kissing him again as you help him get them off. You run your hands down his chest and fuck, just the sight of all that beautiful lean muscle is nearly enough to make you moan. You want to sink your teeth into his skin, leave your marks all over his body so he can’t forget this night, but with how often he appears semi-shirtless in front of cameras you know that’s not a good idea.

So you’ll just have to make sure he remembers you for other reasons instead.

You push Brian down so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed and drop to your knees in front of him. You mouth at his cock through his pants, loving the sound of him groaning above you. You can already tell that he’s well-endowed, a fact which is confirmed when you tug his pants down over his cock and Brian lifts his hips so you can pull them away completely.

“God, you’re huge,” you say, and it comes out sounding more like a moan than you care to admit.

There’s a flush spreading across Brian’s face and he starts to say, “Listen, you don’t have to-”

“That was not a complaint,” you interrupt before Brian can finish that thought, and you lean down to take his cock into your mouth.

Brian cries out as you suck gently at the tip of his cock. His hands flutter above your head, like he’s resisting the urge to hold onto you, and you pull back to mouth along his shaft as you tell him, “You can touch me, Bri, it’s fine.”

That’s all the permission he seems to need and he reaches out for you, just resting his hands in your hair, not forcing anything as you take him back in your mouth and start to bob your head along his length. He’s too big for you to take all the way down but that doesn’t stop you from trying, swallowing him as deeply as you can and working whatever you can’t fit into your mouth with your hands.

The taste of Brian’s precome on your tongue and the sound of his groans filling the room are a heady combination. The knowledge that he’s falling apart because of you, that you’re the one coaxing those sounds out of him, that it’s your mouth working him towards his orgasm, is a rush like nothing else you’ve ever felt.

You look up at him and find that he’s staring down at you, eyes half-lidded with pleasure but still watching you as you work him over. You can’t hold back a small, pleased noise at the image he paints and Brian’s answering moan makes your core start throbbing with need again.

You keep your eyes locked on him as you slowly start to swallow him down, taking him deeper than you had before. The head of his cock hits the back of your throat and you choke, pulling back just enough to take a deep breath and try again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/N…” Brian pants, his hands tightening in your hair as you relax your throat and let Brian’s cock slip down.

Brian’s cock is large enough that it’s a struggle to hold him in your throat and you still don’t have his entire length in your mouth, but you don’t care. You don’t care because Brian looks overwhelmed with pleasure, the muscles of his legs flexing as he struggles to keep himself from thrusting deeper into your mouth, and all because of you.

You swallow around his cock and Brian cries out loudly, hips stuttering forward once before he’s pulling you away. You whine and try to mouth at his cock again, but Brian holds you back and says, “If you keep that up I’m gonna come before I get a chance to fuck you.”

“Well we can’t have that now, can we?” you tease, although heat pools in your stomach at the thought of Brian coming in your mouth, getting to taste him completely… There’s a twinge of regret at knowing you won’t get to have that, but it’s quickly overshadowed by excitement as Brian coaxes you up to lie on the bed.

He kisses you, a bit more softer this time, before slowly moving down your body, trailing gentle nips and kisses down your neck, teasing over your breasts, and mouthing down your stomach where he sucks a bruise into your hipbone.

“You think you can take me, or do you need a bit of help?” he murmurs against your skin, one hand teasing along your folds and around your entrance. He sinks one finger into you before you have a chance to answer and you gasp, arching off the bed and bearing down on his hand.

“Might- might need you to- ah-” You whine as Brian pushes a second finger inside you and starts to slowly move them. “God, Brian…”

“Need me to open you up?” he asks as he keeps moving his fingers at a steady pace, too slow to get you off like this but it’s enough to get your blood racing and make you so wet that you can hear Brian’s fingers thrusting into you. “Hm? Do you need me to get you ready for my cock?”

“Fuck, yeah, Bri, yeah,” you gasp, rocking your hips to try to get Brian to move faster. “Yeah, god, please, give me another, I can take it…”

Brian chuckles and instead of slipping another finger inside you he pulls away completely. You whimper at the loss, feeling empty and needy without him filling you up, but Brian kisses you again as he reaches over to grab a bottle of lube from the drawer of his nightstand. You don’t notice him slicking up his hand, and you’re taken by surprise when he suddenly sinks three fingers deep inside you.

You cry out, nearly jackknifing off the bed. Brian slings one arm over your hips to hold you in place as he starts fingering you open, scissoring his fingers and curling them up to rub them over that spot inside you that makes you scream.

“Brian, Bri, please, please fuck me, god, please,” you beg, writhing beneath him, barely able to stand the pleasure or the intensity of Brian’s gaze on you.

And Brian, it seems, has had enough of the foreplay as well because he pulls his hand away and quickly rolls on a condom before slicking up his cock. He lines up at your entrance, hesitating only for a moment to look into your eyes; you smile, and nod once, and with a low exhale Brian starts to push in.

He is big, and he feels even bigger as he slowly eases into you. You whine at the uncomfortable stretch and tense up around him. Brian groans and you can feel his cock twitching inside you as Brian stills, barely halfway inside you. “You’ve gotta relax for me, babe,” he pants. He ducks under one of your legs, draping it over his shoulder and opening you up wider for him. “C’mon, let me in…”

You shudder, and try to will yourself to relax. Brian is patient, pressing soft kisses to your inner thigh and waiting for you to be ready, even though he has to be dying to move. After a few moments the burn fades away and the stretch feels more pleasurable than painful, and as soon as you ease up around Brian he rocks into you again, gentle and slow. You gasp, but you don’t tense up again, arching up to meet his movements instead.

“That’s it, that’s my good girl, feel so fucking good around me, fuck…” Brian’s words make you flush with embarrassment and arousal and you whine, turning your face into the pillow and feeling overwhelmed as Brian finally fills you completely.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Brian murmurs, kissing along your jawline. “C’mon, let me see you, wanna watch you…”

“Brian… Bri…” you pant, but you let Brian turn your head back towards him. His eyes are dark with lust and he looks at you in wonder, like he can’t believe he gets to have you, even though you’re the one lucky enough to be in the bed of your idol.

You keep your eyes fixed on his as he starts to thrust into you, slowly at first and so gentle that you can feel every inch of him as he moves inside you, leaving you gasping and whimpering underneath him. Brian groans with every movement, but even as he starts to rock into you faster, harder, his eyes don’t leave your face. The two of you are locked together, Brian’s cock pistoning into you, your legs hooked over his shoulder and wrapped around his waist, and neither one of you able to break your stare.

You study every detail of Brian’s face, needing to memorize everything about him in this moment, every flutter of his eyes, every low moan, every bite of his lips as he gives a particularly harsh thrust. You watch as Brian falls apart above you, his pleasure heightening your own, and every noise and keen from you makes Brian a little more desperate, a little less composed.

“‘m close,” he gasps, and he brings one hand between your bodies to rub your clit. “Want you to come, Y/N, wanna feel you come first…” You moan, pushing desperately down on Brian’s cock and against his hand, so close just from knowing that it’s Brian who’s working to bring you over that edge. “Yeah, that’s it, Y/N, that’s my good girl, come for me, want you to come-”

And you do with a loud cry, shaking and writhing underneath Brian as he keeps his hand on your clit, keeps thrusting into you, keeps looking at you as you lose yourself to the waves of pleasure, your vision nearly whiting out from the intensity of it all.

“Fuck, fuck, Y/N, so good, you’re so good-” Brian groans as he comes as well, finally breaking eye contact as he drops down on top of you, your leg sliding off his shoulder as he ducks his head into the crook of your neck, panting against your skin as his hips stutter into you. You clench around him and he bites at your shoulder to muffle a cry as he thrusts into you once more, before falling still.

The two of you lay there, breathing heavily and shuddering through the last aftershocks of pleasure. You brush a hand over Brian’s hair, and he presses a soft kiss to the bite he gave you. “Sorry about that,” he mumbles.

You laugh and unhook your other leg from around Brian’s waist. “’s alright,” you tell him, still trying to catch your breath. Brian could’ve left a thousand marks on your body and you wouldn’t have cared one bit.

It’s a few minutes before Brian moves again, leveraging himself back up with a groan. “Be right back,” he says, kissing you once, before climbing off the bed. You watch him leave but make no attempt to get up yourself. You stretch out instead, feeling the best sort of soreness, and you smile as you think back over the evening. This is certainly not how you expected your night to turn out, but you’re definitely not complaining.

“You look happy,” Brian says, as he reenters the bedroom. He’s cleaned himself up and gotten rid of the condom, and he runs a damp washcloth over your skin to clean you up as well.

“Mm, that’s because I am happy.” You reach for him and he leans down to kiss you again, gentle and slow.

“I’m glad.” He tosses the washcloth somewhere over the side of the bed and he lies down next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “I’m pretty happy right now as well,” he tells you, and your whole chest feels warm with affection and satisfaction.

You let your eyes slip shut, just for a second, enjoying the feeling of Brian pressed against you and his hand tracing absent patterns along your hip. You know you’ll have to get up soon and catch a cab back home, but you still allow yourself to imagine for a moment that you could stay here instead.

“You know, we never did have those drinks,” Brian says after a few minutes, breaking the silence between you.

You smile and open your eyes again, rolling onto your side so you can look at Brian. He’s smiling, lazy and content, and you think you’ve never seen a more gorgeous sight in your life. “Guess you’ll just have to make it up to me sometime, then,” you say, with a soft smile of your own.

“Guess I will,” Brian agrees. “Would coffee in the morning be a good start? Or do you prefer tea?”

You blink, surprised, and sit up on one elbow so you can look at Brian properly. “Are you asking me to spend the night?”

“Why not? It’s late, and there’s no sense in you leaving now unless you want to.”

There’s nothing but honesty and affection in Brian’s face and you swallow down a sudden lump in your throat as you settle back into bed next to him. Brian wraps his arms around you again without hesitation and you sigh, and relax into his embrace. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think I’ll stay.”

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1964

Under the cut.

Bobby Vinton – “There! I’ve Said It Again” -- January 4, 1964

*sob* This song is so bad. Is there even a beat at all? It's so slow. It should not be so slow. Vinton sounds both self-satisfied and whiny. It's a love song, I suppose, but this doesn't sound anything like love to me. It sounds like it was created by the Moral Majority. Help, I need someone.

The Beatles – “I Want To Hold Your Hand” -- February 1, 1964

Yeah, I did that on purpose. It's fashionable to hate on The Beatles these days, but I will not be joining in. "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" is not one of their best songs, but if I'd been there at the time, I'd have been screaming my head off for them too. After going through the past couple years of hits, I feel ready to scream for them now. There's a beat. There's forward motion. There's understanding how to sing a song. That wasn't totally lacking on the charts until them -- Ray Charles, after all, and some others -- but what a wasteland it's been generally. The bad stuff has been so very, very bad. Anyway. "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" -- okay song today, but pure oxygen in 1964.

The Beatles – “She Loves You” -- March 21, 1964

This is one of my favorite songs. "Hey idiot, this great girl you thought you lost due to your idiocy still loves you." Implied: Either you go on her knees to get her back or I go after her. And it doesn't sound anything like any #1 I've covered so far. Major interesting bassline, great harmonies, good drums, guitar, everything lines up perfectly.

The Beatles – “Can’t Buy Me Love” -- April 4, 1964

What else is there to say at this point? It's good. It's true. It's romantic. It's fast. McCartney knows how to sing. Notice that none of these three hits in a row are heartbreak songs? There have been way too many of those on this list, and most of them were bad. These songs are happy, and not fake happy. They're driven. They're alive.

Louis Armstrong – “Hello, Dolly!” -- May 9, 1964

The person to finally kick The Beatles down the charts was one of our greatest homegrown artists. It's like people had finally woken up after Bobby Vinton's horrible song in January. Not Louis Armstrong's best, but it's Louis Armstrong. So it's thoroughly enjoyable.

Mary Wells – “My Guy” -- May 16, 1964

Motown is well and truly here. I adore this song. It's sweet without being cloying, the beat is fun, and of course Mary Wells is amazing. And as a woman whose taste in men has never matched up with what I'm supposed to find attractive, and has taken a lot of crap for that, I connect with the song personally.

The Beatles – “Love Me Do” -- May 30, 1964

I think this is the worst of the Beatles' hits so far. Which doesn't make it bad. The harmonica's great. But the lyrics are kinda, well, dumb. Thankfully they're dumb and cheery, not dumb and doleful like so much I've covered.

The Dixie Cups – “Chapel Of Love” -- June 6, 1964

Earworm alert. That hook is a killer. The song gets at the overwhelmed, slightly stunned happiness that comes from getting married. We went to city hall, not to the chapel, but the feeling's the same. I can't say whether I like the song exactly -- the hook is so overpowering, it doesn't really give you a chance. It's in your head now, forever.

Peter & Gordon – “A World Without Love” -- June 27, 1964

The narrator doesn't have a girlfriend so he's going to hide in his room until his true love shows up. Or maybe he was dumped by his true love and therefore is going to hide? It's not very clear, which is unusual for a song written by Paul McCartney. But there's a reason he gave it to someone else. It's actually a fine song, good harmonies, good beat, very teenage sensibility without being annoying. Not too special after the last six songs though.

The Beach Boys – “I Get Around” -- July 4, 1964

I can never hear this without picturing the 1986 film Flight of the Navigator. As usual with Beach Boys songs, the music is excellent and the lyrics are deeply dumb and repetitive. So it's a fun song, but not one I go out of my way to listen to.

The Four Seasons – “Rag Doll” -- July 18, 1964

Gah Frankie Valli's falsetto again. Also it's overproduced. This guy loves a poor girl but his father says nope, she's a poor so you can't marry her, and he just accepts it. I really don't like anything about The Four Seasons.

The Beatles – “A Hard Day’s Night” -- August 1, 1964

My mom and I once rented the movie A Hard Day's Night, and were surprised at how fun it was. (She was a little young to experience the full force of Beatlemania when it hit.) The song written for the movie: Also very fun, and good, and sexy. "But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do will make me feel all right." Things sure changed fast in 1964.

Dean Martin – “Everybody Loves Somebody” -- August 15, 1964

Dean Martin was constitutionally incapable of being serious. Sometimes his smarm worked. Not here. It could be worse, but it could be a lot better. I'd have been much happier if it had been just about anyone else's version, though Peggy Lee's is my favorite.

The Supremes – “Where Did Our Love Go” -- August 22, 1964

Have you noticed how good pop music suddenly got? It's not just The Beatles. This is a heartbreak song without a hint of schmaltz. It makes you feel better, not worse, and you can even dance to it. But it's still sad. Motown was amazing in its heyday.

The Animals – “The House Of The Rising Sun” -- September 5, 1964

I've loved this song since I was a kid. And I understood it; "gambling causes ruin" is perfectly comprehensible to an 8-year old. It's dark and real, and Eric Burdon's voice and singing give me chills. The keyboard is like nothing I've heard on this list before. I think this might be goth. It's something great, anyway.

Roy Orbison – “Oh, Pretty Woman” -- September 26, 1964

I hate the movie Pretty Woman. A lot. This song became a hit again when the movie came out. Obviously I associate this song with that movie. So I don't have an opinion about the song that's separate from a movie I hate and that Roy Orbison had nothing to do with. I'm passing on this one.

Manfred Mann – “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” -- October 17, 1964

Two number ones in a row about a pretty woman walking down the street. They sort of sound similar in parts too. Anyway, pretty woman walking down the street singing nonsense, narrator ends up making out with and then getting engaged to her. It's silly, and it's okay. "Okay" has a much higher bar than it did just last year.

The Supremes – “Baby Love” -- October 31, 1964

I have a problem with The Supremes, and it's that their first four #1 hits have exactly the same subject matter, and that subject matter is being in love with a man who no longer loves them. After this list, I'm sick of heartbreak songs, and they were never my favorite anyway. Four love songs in a row and I'd have been happy. Dance songs, ditto. But if we must have heartbreak songs, can we have a little righteous anger too? Not just plaintiveness? Anyway, "Baby Love" is a Supremes song, which means if you hear it far apart from their other songs, it's great. When I hear them together like this, though, the formula gets painful.

The Shangri-Las – “Leader Of The Pack” -- November 28, 1964

I hope this song was meant to be funny, because I find it goddamn hilarious. How'd she meet a bad boy whom she knew was sad at the candy store? I like the message that you shouldn't dump your boyfriend solely because your daddy tells you to. But I don't think there's any intended message here. I think it might be a song making fun of the 50s motorcycle bad boy aesthetic and all those "girlfriend/boyfriend died" schmaltzfests people suffered through.

Lorne Greene – “Ringo” -- December 5, 1964

A baritone spoken word piece about a Western outlaw. I doubt it would have gone anywhere if Ringo Starr hadn't been named Ringo. It's probably good for its genre, since Lorne Greene was a good actor, but I can't tell.

The Supremes – “Come See About Me” -- December 19, 1964

It doesn't sound like a heartbreak song, but of course it is. And a super severe one; she gave up all her friends for him, and then he left her too. But she still wants him back. Eesh. Of course Diana Ross doesn't sound sad singing it, because she never sounds really sad singing these songs. The technique obviously worked, but the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It's a really good song. And not for me, now that I've actually thought this much about it.

The Beatles – “I Feel Fine” -- December 26, 1964

A sitar has been spotted! Anyway, he and his baby are in love, and he brags about buying her diamond rings. The Beatles never had any shame about buying the women in their songs stuff to make them happy. I like that. And I like this song.

BEST OF 1964: "My Guy". Yep, not a Beatles song. This is thoroughly subjective, after all. But what a lot of great songs there were this year, and how relieved I am to be able to say that. WORST OF 1964: "There! I've Said It Again", overwhelmingly.

[astrologyturtle]

What I Think About the Signs

These are based off people’s sun signs i know irl (I’m obviously going to have my biases considering I have an air dominant chart yeet)

Aries: One of my best friends is an Aries! I LOVE HER TO DEATH. YALL ARE FUCKING CRAZY & I LOVE IT. but anyway Aries being stereotyped to being passionate is actually real. There’s just something about the way they talk about something/someone they like that just makes u want to listen to them ramble. They’re also really good peptalkers and make u feel good about yourself. They make u feel special too when ur being insecure/ laying out ur problems to them ! They can be a little upfront about how they feel/want (ofc depending on other aspects of their chart BUT) they do that to make things work. Having arguments with them can really be awkward for signs that don’t like confrontation/argument in general but they don’t hold on to that anger for long which is something I really really admire about this sign. Keep that fire going, Aries 😩🔥🔥

Taurus: One of the signs I have a love-hate relationship with. These signs can either be reallyyyyyyy toxic bc of how stubborn they are or they can be the sweetest/most gentle people you’ll meet. For some tauruses with a little extra stubborness in their chart are really (at least for me) HARD to get along with. As a Libra, I really do try to understand where people come from so I guess that’s where I get all this patience to make sure no one is left unheard and I also really value my friendships too. Let me tell you it takes a LOT a LOT for me to hate someone but when I do it’s probably with good reasons and this sign gave me those exact reasons to hate someone :( BUT for the ones I’ve gotten along with they’re really good with their hands ! Be it cooking or painting you name it ! They have really good aesthetics too so if you’re an art/fashion hoe these people are your go-to for some advice. They’re also really into a lot of volunteer work be it for charity or just helping the community or their loved ones. Most of Taurus people I know do Acts of Service to show their appreciation for you and I think that’s pretty sweet 🥺 Your aesthetics are bomb, Taurus 🌻

Gemini: Let me just say these hoes are some of the most talkativeee signs. They’re really friendly too. I don’t know a lot of Gemini’s but from the ones I know they’re really good at keeping conversations and they legit have so much to say! The fact that they jump from one topic to another gets overwhelming but that’s exactly what makes them exciting and fun to get to know! I can’t really say anything negative about these signs since I barely know any but I’ll update this when I do :) Wish I met more Gemini’s 💨

Cancer: Ok but hoooooly shit these signs are MOODY AF let me tell you. One moment they’re all fun and games and then they’re suddenly sulking and pouting for some weird reason ?? They hold grudges too and I hope they learn not to :( But once you’re used to their mood swings they’re honestly just the sweetest babies. If they could come in warnings it would probably say “caution: fragile”. Having late night talks where u just spill ur heart out to them is honestly the most therapeutic thing. They’re also really thoughtful and know exactly what to give their loved ones which is honestly such a gift. If you’re someone who likes to take care of everyone then they are your people. The most important things about this sign is their intuition! Listen to them when they say something’s not right because chances are they’re right about it! You make me feel safe , Cancer 🌊

Leo: One thing’s for sure with Leo’s, you really can’t go wrong with their loyalty. They are the type of people who would fight for u! At least the ones I know don’t really love the limelight but they sure wouldn’t hold back in showing off their loved ones 😍 expensive parties, gifts, social media posts anything to show u off. they really know how to make u feel special and that’s pretty sick. they’re also really good company as they know how to have a good time. Can’t say anything bad about them either since I don’t have a lot of them in my life :( Shine your light, Leo 🌞

Virgo: Oh. My. God. I have so many virgos in my life. They can be passive aggressive which really gets on my nerves 😂 they’re really really meticulous in the little things and try to fix every. single. screw up. They can be insecure af bc theyre very self-aware but that just makes me wanna love them even more. These people will give gr8 advice and opinions straight to you which honestly is very very helpful. They help you see things practically and really just ground you. They are extremely hard workers sometimes to their breaking point which is why I think they can really go far in life. They’re also really thoughtful and selfless people and I hope they treat themselves from time to time because they really really deserve it. Their motivation is actually contagious which are one of the many reasons why I love them. You are enough, Virgo 🍃

Libra: Lmao my sun sign. I haven’t actually met a lot of Libras but based on the ones I know (and myself) we can be really really indecisive which I know tends to annoy other people but know that we do it bc we like to weigh our options and pick the best option that everyone agrees with. We can be people pleasers and want other people to like us which is what I tried to do in my younger years. I’d always felt like it was an attack when someone wouldn’t like me but yes, we can learn to stop being people pleasers when we’ve had enough. We hate confrontation ! It gets really awkward because sometimes I think that saying how I feel/think is a personal attack to someone but I’m working on it. My dad and a close friend of mine is a libra and they’re really good at making u see the other side of an argument/situation which is one of the things I love about my sign and I hope other people love that about us too. We keep it fair and square for y’all 🌬

Scorpio: I have mixed feelings about this sign. I either like them a loooot, don’t like them, or just feel eh about em. They can be pretty intense when u get into an argument with them (or at least the arguments I’ve witnessed) because they give off these really intimidating vibes. I guess it’s the intensity of their eyes. Some of them can be pretty passive aggressive too which again can be annoying but some can be pretty straight to the point and almost feel like they stab u right in the heart with their honesty. They. hold. grudges ! They can be pretty closed off too :( so u probably wouldn’t really know them until they decide to open up to you which honestly takes a while and I know they do that to make sure u don’t screw them over. They can also be really selfish and stubborn when they feel like you’ve neglected them so watch out for that sfsfsfgs but these can also be the nicest, softest, and sweetest signs. They make u feel loved and are really good listeners when your have problems and when they care about something/someone they care about you deeplyyyy fr. The smallest unusual things can put them off but giving them reassurance and talking about your issues with them will calm them down. For the more outgoing ones, they can make u feel welcomed when you’re in a new environment. Your intensity is something else, Scorpio 💦

Sagittarius: My other. best. friend’s. sign like fUUUUUck these are hands down one of the most insane people you’ll meet. Me and my best friend beside each other is already a party in itself ngl. These signs are also really good at keeping conversations fun, lighthearted, and meaningful. When they’ve finally found someone worth their loyalty, time, and effort, when they say they got u, they got u till the grave man. They can either be really fucking insane or the chillest people you’ll know. They’re very easy to get along with too. When you’ve upset them, they can be pretty upfront about how they feel so you definitely won’t have second guesses about what goes on in their heads. Give them their space too as they’re willing to give you just as much and you’re good. You been my ride or die, Sag ✨

Capricorn: Aha here’s the other sign I have a love- hate relationship with. I’ve talked to a few of them and these people can literally be the most confusing and almost sneaky people I’ve met (they can be kinda passive aggressive). They don’t give their all to someone they don’t know for sure is willing to give 200% of themselves in return. However, they are also the hustlers of the zodiac. You probably wouldn’t know they have 3 side hustles and 2 main ones which is something I really admire them for. Their drive to achieve their goals makes you wanna work 10x if not a hundred times harder to achieve your goals and take on new ones. They come off super intimidating but I guess that’s just part of their appeal (their vibes literally scream i’m the boss, bitch) they can also come off really serious but they actually have a really great sense of humor. I’ll admit they’re funny af. Just like their goals, once they’ve decided to put their heart into someone’s hands they will put not just a hundred but 200 if not 500% of themselves into their relationships and they are always at the top of their loyalty game. They’re most likely to also perform Acts of Services and can be really selfless people so treat your cap friends from time to time and definitely ask how they’re doing. They tend to bottle up emotions and don’t really know how to express them properly so be as selfless as they are too bc God knows they need emotional support as much as everyone does despite looking like they have their shit together. Stay at the top of your game, Caps 💯

Aquarius: The cutest weirdos I know ! They’re quirkiness is endearing and some people may find it odd but it really just comes from how unique and original they are. Their fight for equality is really inspiring be it feminism, or any sort of cause to fight for rights is what they’re known for. They’re also the first ones to notice and call out inequality in certain situations and really helps people realize and see the hidden agendas/messages of marketing. They call out what society thinks is right and it’s something really cool about them. Keep being weird, Aquarius 👽

Pisces: I only really know one but from what I’ve gathered, they can be reaaaal softies. They’re really good at any form of art like painting and music. For some reason they’re given the talent of knowing exactly what gifts to give their loved ones? They’re really thoughtful and can be really selfless for their loved ones. They’re really good at making you feel understood and make u feel comfortable in your own skin and are the perfect home bodies tbh. Late night talks with this sign have been amazing so far and I would recommend telling a Pisces what’s been bothering u. Don’t put too much anger or negative energy into what u say to them tho as they feel their emotions physically too. This really close friend of mine who i might as well consider my sister told me she literally feels drained after having people tell her their problems. They can be quite moody and are a handful when they aren’t in a good mood too. They may lash out on people around them and it’s just not something you’d want to deal with especially when you’re in good spirits. They can be quite shy but are willing to talk to people who know how to keep a conversation going as well. You’re a blessing, Pisces 🐠

[xofoldedpages]

Forgive me for being absolute trash for Sylvain, but could you do something with "I trusted you" or "The worst part is, I loved you anyway" or both from the 45 OTP Angst Prompts ^^" up to you! I'm just in the mood to be crushed by Sylvain tonight LMAO

45 OTP Angst Prompt found HEREOH OKAY.So you wanna do this to me huh?  Leave me crying here like a lil baby ??I changed up the second line just a little, but enjoy being heartbroken, thanks.

Sylvain Jose Gautier: a name you unintentionally familiarized yourself with upon acceptance to the Officer’s Academy. All of your female friends warned you about him; they claimed he was the resident skirt chaser. And you? You were gorgeous, and he was bound to set his eyes on you. Their opinions left a bitter taste in your mouth. But, of course, they were correct.

Two days after classes began, a certain redheaded boy approached you, but you were prepared. You brushed off his compliments with ease. After all, they lacked any real substance to them. But somehow, over time, Sylvain began to break down your walls. Little did you know, you were also breaking down his.

One day, he came to you a mumbling mess. Between the mumbles, you were able to decipher he wanted to study together.

“Oh?” You mused. “Yeah, we can study together. Did you want to come to my dorm after class?”

In an instant, Sylvain’s skin flushed, and his face was brighter than his hair. Your suggestion was innocent, though. There was a clear no-talking rule in the library, but none of the students followed this rule, and it was loosely enforced. You needed a quiet space to study, and you were comfortable in your own area. Sylvain eagerly nodded his head to the suggestion, and much to your surprise, he actually studied that night.

Between chapters, the two of you divulged information to each other that no one else knew, and you began to see Sylvain in a different light. Maybe he wasn’t just the resident skirt-chaser; perhaps he was genuine. The two of you started to spend more time together, and you weren’t sure when it happened, but you fell for Sylvain.

It wasn’t a hard fall, and there wasn’t a specific moment you could recall that made you say, “yeah, I love that guy.” Things just happened naturally. You found yourself intoxicated by his mere presence, and you two spent every moment you could together.

Sylvain had invited you to sit with him underneath a tree on an unusually warm morning before class. He inquired about your week, your schedules having kept you apart for most of it. You began to tell him about something that piqued your interest in the class. Excitement poured into your words, and your face lit up as you spoke. Sylvain, unable to contain himself, kissed you midsentence.

It was the first kiss you shared together.

Caught off guard, you did not know how to respond. His lips were hesitant at first, but when you finally relaxed and melted into his arms, he kissed you with such urgency that stole the oxygen right out of your lungs.

Goddess, you loved this man, but your friends always warned you not to get attached. If you did, you would surely get hurt. So, you tried to detach yourself from those feelings you had for Sylvain. When girls would approach him, you would look the other way, lying to yourself that you didn’t care.

Little did you know, he gradually put an end to his flirting. You, however, were too busy trying to ignore Sylvain around these girls that you failed to see he was always the one being approached.

Still, your schedules kept the two of you busy, and you weren’t able to see Sylvain as much as you wanted. When you two were able to meet, he always greeted you with a kiss that halted the world around you. You had to protect yourself, though. After every kiss you two shared, you reminded yourself that you weren’t special and that he was doing this with every girl. You tried so hard, in the beginning, to be different, and yet you became what you fought so hard to avoid.

You proceeded to plague your mind with thoughts about Sylvain not genuinely caring about you, so when Claude kissed you in the middle of the Entrance Hall, you kissed him back. You loved Sylvain, but you kissed Claude back. You kissed him back because Sylvain was kissing other girls, too. The kiss you shared with Claude was ordinary. It didn’t leave you breathless or wanting more, and it only made you realize that you yearned for Sylvain to love you as much as you loved him.

“Wow,” The single word echoed through the hall.

“Sylvain?” You whisked around just in time to see him exiting the room. Without thinking, you followed him outside.

“Sylvain, wait,” After speeding up, you were finally able to catch up to him. You had a strange urge to explain yourself to him. You reached out your hand and grasped his wrist, begging him to stop. “Claude, he kissed me.”

Sylvain swept your hand away, suddenly turning so he could face you directly.

“Yeah? That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing.”

He looked away from you, an ironic smile plastered on his face. Not knowing how to respond to this feeling of jealousy, he let out a low and haunting chuckle.

“The funny thing is,” He paused, running his fingers through his red hair, “I trusted you.”

Those three words stole your breath, and you suddenly couldn’t breathe. Sylvain always knew how to leave you breathless.

“The worst part is, I still love you, anyway.”

A part of you always wanted to hear those words come out of his mouth, but not like this.

You stood there, stunned into silence until something began to bubble in the pit of your stomach.

“How can you get mad at me? I had to watch you flirt with other girls all the time,” You stood your ground, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“Yeah? Is that what you think of me? Some idiot who can’t stop flirting with girls?”

He pressed his lips together, his head shaking.

“You were enough for me, but apparently I wasn’t enough for you.”

His words sunk deep into your bones, and you could feel grief settling into your skeleton.

“Just,” Sylvain sighed, unable to find the right words. “Just forget it, okay? Just forget I said anything and leave me alone.”

And with that, he left you standing alone. The next few days you tried reaching out to Sylvain, but he refused to listen. Weeks later, as you rounded a corner, you spotted him with another girl, and your heart quickly settled into the pit of your stomach.

You still loved him.

[wereverine]

combining these because one of y’all absolute mad lads wanted me to do the whole thing,, these are from the unusual asks (found here) now on to the questions !!!

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

~ tbh yeah,, like I wanna be the person I am on the inside,, I want my outsides to mirror my insides and just let everyone know who I am no hiding or making excuses any more,, I want people to look at me and be inspired to be themselves,, to love themselves,, and to just love me (if that’s the kind of relationship that specific person has with me)

2: What is your full name?

~ Nikita “Magnus” Nickerson (Magnus is a placeholder middle name for now,, I like it but also I think I might wanna change it to something else I dunno yet)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

~ I’m 19 currently and I get mistaken for either 16 or 21/22 with no in between

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

~ finally I can answer yes to a question like this !!! it was semi-perm but omg I dyed it teal and my mom’s gonna let me do a mystery color sometime soon (it’s a surprise what color :3)

5: What’s your eye color?

~ deep brown,, like deeeeeppppp brown omg ppl used to make fun of me because I had “black,, demon eyes” and I was really good at staring contests when I was younger

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it?

~ honestly it varies sometimes I’m super indifferent to the body I have and other times I’m super insecure and want to get rid of my body,, but I am doing better about it and I’m glad my body gets me from place to place

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

~ I don’t currently have any tattoos (but watch tf out when I have money I have So many planned lol) and I’ve had my earlobes pierced since I was 6 months old and I’m planning to get some more piercings

8: What would you say is your best quality?

~ my ability to be there for ppl when they really need it,, like I drop stuff so quick when ppl indicate they need me

9: What are you really bad at?

~ math,, expressing my feelings,, talking about my feelings,, letting myself feel my feelings,, taking time for myself BEFORE I break down,, working myself into a breakdown,, asking for help

10: What talent do you wish you had?

~ honestly I wish I had the talent to actually know when to stop blaming myself

11: Are you nice to everyone?

~ nope,, but I try to be as polite as possible,, and I’ve gotten better about being nicer to people

12: What do you think about the most?

~ I mainly think about missed opportunities and how to let my friends know I care about them deeply and love them without weirding them out

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself?

~ hoo boy I’m gonna limit this to 3 things each otherwise we’d be here all day; likes: ability to listen,, creative,, intuitive; dislikes: bottling up emotions,, stubborn,, low self-esteem

14: What is your least favorite word?

~ moist

15: What is your favorite word?

~ petrichor

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

~ tbh,, I’m a fairly even mix,, but a lot of times I don’t act like either one of them

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

~ honestly,, I do that weird lil half smile that ppl get when another person is looking at them to do something lol

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone?

~ to stay out of trouble

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

~ the only thing I’m lying about is my emotional state when ppl ask how I’m doing

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

~ romantically? nah,, but platonically? definitely

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

~ not really,, not for me at least

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

~ of a sort,, like there are just some people that you vibe with in a very special way and it’s not always romantic either

23: Are looks important?

~ to me,, looks aren’t the most important thing,, I feel like personality goes beyond looks and can even enhance how your brain sees people

24: Opinion on relationship age differences?

~ after a certain amount of years I don’t particularly agree with them,, like if you have a 20+ year age gap I don’t really get it,, like if the ppl get together when one is like 20 and the other is like 40,, there’s such a gap in the understanding the 2 (or more) ppl will have,, but also it’s not my life and not really my business what grown adults do

25: Would you date someone off the internet?

~ I’d be willing to try but tbh it’s hard enough trying to date someone you met in person

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

~ yes,, many times

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

~ yeah,, I had a crush on one of my friends while they were in a relationship and I felt so Bad,, like I didn’t want to ruin their relationship or lose their friendship so I just kept my mouth shut lol

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

~ not really,, I’ve either given up on them a while ago or I still have a small shred of hope

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

~ not really ??? (unless they just didn’t tell me lmao)

30: Have you ever like your best friend?

~ actually yeah I have skskdddkdk

31: How does someone win your heart?

~ honestly,, I get crushes ridiculously easy if you’re nice to me for a while and show affection in an exuberant way,, and that typically deepens until one day I’m sitting there looking at that person when they’re telling me something they are So excited over and they have stars in their eyes and my face goes soft and I look at them like they hung the sun,, moon,, and stars just for me and it hits me like a freight train that I might just love this person and it doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually,, I just feel for people I’m close to very deeply and it might be pathetically easy to win my heart but goddamnit I’m soft and love a lot ❤❤

32: What turns you on?

~ a lot of different things actually,, like sometimes if the person I like is physically bigger than me and they need me to stand or sit a certain way and they position me just the way they need,, that’s umm,, Hot af,, although I act mad at the manhandling lol,, and oh god if they’re Big and they pin me with an intense stare and like loom over me (maybe with me against the wall aksksk 😍),, also my neck is like Very sensitive like to the point that if you lightly blow against it I full body shudder,, y’all don’t know how distracting it is when your crush is hugging you and telling you something important but you can’t listen because every word is a puff of air against your neck so you just close your eyes and hope to god your subconscious is actually retaining the info (oh god I just had a Thought,, if someone pinned me to the wall by my throat and then kissed me breathless while pressing close enough my gasping brushes our chests together and then kissed my neck with either tenderness or ferocity I’d probably fucking self combust on the spot),, to go along with that I Love Love Love neck kisses so much (y’all probably know too much about that by now lol),, y’all I’m just really into mouths,, lips,, teeth,, tongues are all just very top teir,, oh fuck,, flexing muscles get to me so much,, like cross your arms in front of me and I won’t look at your eyes because mine will be glued to those fucking arms,, god fuck thigh riding is the dream here 😍😍,, okay I’m gonna stop myself here but it’s easy to turn me on sometimes and hard other times (that greyasexual life)

33: What turns you off?

~ okay let me honest here,, as much as I like tongues and all they can do ;),, I don’t really enjoy french kissing (maybe that’s my last ex’s fault,, his kisses were just so Wet) like I much prefer those open-mouthed kisses with minimal tongue,, and people who are rude and assholes for no reason are like huge turn-offs no matter how attractive they are,, also I hate those people who like desperately want to be doms but they just become like overbearing,, lowkey abusive,, and highly annoying,, tbh most of this list is gonna be shit my ex did because it was all so Unsexy in hindsight

34: Do you get jealous easily?

~ imo not really,, like I might be jealous after a while if the person like after telling me that we would be spending time together alone and they didn’t really follow through like bringing another person along and focusing on them the whole time or focusing on a stranger overly much but I don’t really like feeling jealous because I don’t like forcing myself on people if it seems they are happier doing what they’re doing and I can’t control people only myself so I typically try and redirect any jealous thoughts,, if its like a constant thing tho I’d definitely talk to that person

35: What is your definition of cheating?

~ well for starters,, I don’t consider hugging other people or spending time with them cheating,, I guess I would define cheating for me personally is if the person knowingly hides a deep emotional/physical relationship with another person,, like say I was dating a person and then I found out they were spilling their fears and dreams with another person and telling me nothing or barely anything I’d be a little upset,, but also you can’t expect your s/o to talk to you and only you,, everybody needs and deserves a support system,, or if I found out they were having sex or taking another person out on dates without my knowledge,, like if they just talked to me and explained everything before they started anything they might find I’m open to accommodating them

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

~ for me,, this varies from person to person,, but there comes a point no matter the person that I will drop their ass (that’s what I get for having 7 earth signs with 5 of them being Taurus in my birth chart)

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

~ yes

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

~ to my knowledge,, no,, but everyone has different definitions of cheating,, but I abhor cheating so like god I hope not

39: How often do you listen to music?

~ every fucking day,, mainly all day every day no joke,, I spent my entire senior year of hs with at least one headphone in blasting music to keep myself calm (I’m baby from baby driver essentially),, music is everything to me truly

40: First concert you attended?

~ the first concert I ever attended was a Goody Grace concert (y’all check my boy out I love him) it was lovely and it really woke something up in me in regards to frantically trying to plan visits to concerts now lol

41: Last movie you watched?

~ honestly,, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched at least one movie after this one,, but the last movie I remember watching is Aquaman a few weeks ago

42: Favorite type of movie?

~ Action/Adventure or Sci-Fi

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

~ I went through a period of self-harm for 9 years and I still struggle with craving those feelings a lot and when I relapse I feel like shit,, I’m better about talking about it through like texts or whatever it’s really hard for me to talk about it out loud,, I get really fucking choked up and kinda teary sometimes

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

~ for the most part,, yeah,, I’ve bottled up my feelings and problems for so long I’ve gotten quite good at not showing everything I’m feeling,, but lately,, I’ve been trying to go against that and show what I’m feeling when around people that care for me

45: Do you fall in love easily?

~ love? I don’t know about that but I get infatuated really easily,, I have a hard time identifying love and how it feels to me so I don’t realize I love someone until it smacks me in the face

46: Do you think people say “I love you” too much?

~ fuck no,, say I love you to the people you love damnit !!! I say I love you to my friends AND my family,, like omg sometimes I have to just shut up because I’m bursting with love for people,, and if I’m drunk I say I love you like every five seconds ❤😍😘

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

~ very basic of me,, but Halloween/All Hallow’s Eve,, it’s really one of the only widely celebrated holidays I like

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

~ this depends on what the person is asking for forgiveness for,, but there comes a point where nothing they say or do could possibly get me to forgive them,, like sometimes you just have cut ppl off

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

~ (disney land/world ??? I’m jk lol) on god,, it’s sitting with someone you vibe with and sharing bits and pieces of your souls between each other (and if that devolves into being wrapped up in each other until the stars come out then that’s magical babey 😍)

50: What’s your “type”?

~ nice,, funny,, passionate,, ??? it’s surprisingly hard to put into words,, rest assured I intimately know I do have a type,, it’s just very broad lol

Okay,, that’s the 50 questions !!! thank you darlin’ much for asking me to do this lol,, sorry it took me a while,, love you ❤❤ !!!

[katelides]

One Shot 26

@rejection-isnt-failure

Promt Yes yes yes yes. I've read this so many times my friend. High school aus are amazing, especially when cheerleading and other sports are concerned!! Amazing!! Can you continue doing this type of au? ❤❤ Ooooh. Could we also maybe have a prequel, where Beca gets up the nerve to ask Chloe out?! Ie. Where Beca first sees Chloe and makes an idiot out of herself because she has a crush, but maybe Chloe has a bf on the basketball team, which is why she initially tries out before finding out she's really good at it... and Chloe finds herself charmed by Beca's attempts to talk to her... I dunno. You get my drift ;)

WHEN I READ THIS I OPENLY CRIED FOR AN HOUR!!! THIS IS THE CUTEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST 2 WEEKS! I COULD NOT NOT WRITE THIS AS SOON AS I GOT THIS SOOOO HERE WE GO

find previous one shots on ff.net or AO3

One Shot 26:

Beca is nervously pacing in the locker-room. She had told the rest of the girls to go and warm up and that she would join them in a minute. She has been thinking of telling Chloe about her feelings for her but the fear of losing her forever kind of puts a hold on that. The redhead had been one of her best friends since they were little kids and her feelings had grown over the years and she always pushed them down. But she couldn’t do it anymore, she has to tell her.

The brunette is so deep in thought that she doesn’t hear the door open nor does she see Aubrey and Stacie walk in. “Beca? Are you alright?” Stacie’s voice sounds worried as she watches her tiny friend freeze in shock. “W-what are you doing here?” Aubrey rolls her eyes in annoyance. “We came looking for you when the team ran in but you weren’t with them. Chloe got worried.” At the mention of the redhead’s name Beca tenses. “What’s going on? Why are you being so weird?”

Beca mumbles something inaudible. “Ok, what did you just say? I didn’t get that.” The short brunette takes a deep breath before answering Aubrey’s question. “I like Chloe, like I like-like her.” Beca cringes at how weird and pathetic that just sounded. “Freaking finally!” Stacie shouts throwing her hands up. “What are you still doing here? Go and tell her.” Aubrey adds pointing at the door. “You really think I should?” The two girls roll their eyes. “I swear to god Mitchell, if you don’t go out there and tell her how you feel I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Relax Posen, I want to tell her but I also want to do something special?” The longer she talks the more insecure she gets. “What were you thinking about doing?” Stacie asks genuinely interested. “If I want this to work I’ll need help and I mean all the cheerleaders, I’ll talk to the team and maybe we can make it happen during the finals.” Aubrey nods. “Of course we’ll help you out with whatever you need.”

Beca puts up a nervous smile. “Relax Mitchell, she’ll say yes. Trust us.” Aubrey nods in affirmation before pushing the two brunette’s out of the locker-room. “Let’s go, we need to get to practice. And you need to train your team so we can claim another victory this year.”

The three girls walk into the gym. Aubrey and Stacie slam into Beca when she suddenly stops. “What the hell?” Stacie wants to shake the tiny captain but stops when she sees what Beca is looking at. They are watching Chloe getting hit on by Tom. He’s a senior and it was no secret that the older guy had a crush on their redheaded friend. And apparently he said something funny and Chloe is laughing out loud. The girls watch as the tall basketball player leans in and kisses Chloe on her cheek. The two cheerleaders watch as Beca tenses up right before their eyes. “Beca-“

“I’m fine… I’ll be alright.” Beca shakes her head. “Team huddle up!” Beca runs off towards her co-captain Jesse and ignores everything else around her. “Bree, please tell me that everything Chloe told you about Beca was real because if any of it was a joke I’m not sure… I’m not sure how this is going to end well.” Aubrey looks at her girlfriend, then at her best friend and then at Beca. “Chloe has always had feelings for Beca, and right now I’m going to talk some sense into our cheer captain.”

Stacie watches Aubrey walk over to Chloe. The tall brunette looks over to Beca and their eyes meet. Stacie waves her over. Beca hesitates for a brief moment but decides to join her best friend anyway. “Before you get mad or walk away please hear me out.” Beca rolls her eyes but waits for the speech she knows will come. “I have an idea, at the finals game during halftime we can plan something huge for you to ask Chloe out. She won’t be able to say no.”

“And what do you suppose we do huh? By the time we do it it’ll be too late.” Stacie groans. “Have some faith, we’ll get the teams together today after school and plan the perfect surprise.” Beca lets out a sigh. “Fine but how do we get Chloe away from the team?” Stacie smirks. “Leave that to me.” Just at that moment Jesse runs up to them. “Talking about a perfect opportunity… Hey Jesse, I need a favor.”

Stacie quickly explains the situation and Jesse and the co-captain grin at his tiny friend. “Sure, no problem, anything for my favorite girls.” Beca hits Jesse against his shoulder. “Alright lets go we have teams to train… Thank you for everything you guys.” The three high-five and Stacie quickly joins the rest of the girls. So all

Both basketball teams and the cheerleaders are sitting outside on the grass. Well, everyone except for Chloe, Jesse and Tom. “So if I get this straight you want us to get all of this ready by the finals in 2 weeks?” One of the cheerleaders asks incredulously. “If we all pitch in we can make it work.” Aubrey says. “Well, I guess it’s the least we can do for our amazing captains and friends.” A girl from the basketball teams says with a little whoop at the end.

Beca chuckles at the cheers following. “Hey what are you guys cheering about?” Chloe’s bubbly voice finds its way to the group. “Chloe… uhm-uhm-uhm…” Beca is starting to panicking and everyone is starting to notice so they try to help out by shouting anything that springs to mind.

“Nothing”

“You”

“Just talking”

“Love”

“Memories”

“The game”

Before it can get out of hand Aubrey shushes the group. “What they are trying to say is… we were talking about how amazing the final is going to be in two weeks.” Chloe raises her brow in confusion. “Uhm are you all ok? You’re acting weird.” Beca jumps up with a slightly forced laugh. “Whaaaat? Nooo,” Aubrey rolls her eyes at the high pitched brunette waving her arms around. “everything is fine, right guys?”

Chloe laughs at the brunette’s antics. “Relax, I believe you Becs.” Beca awkwardly scratches the back of her neck. “I don’t know about you guys but I need to study for a test so I’m going home.” One by one the others follow Stacie’s lead and slowly the only people left are Beca, Chloe, Jesse and Tom. “Hey Chlo do you want to go and study together?” Tom asks with an unusually large smirk. Beca’s face falls and she prepares for the hard sting that’s going to follow when Chloe accepts.

“Actually Beca and I always study for our tests together and I am having some trouble with math and she knows how to explain things to me.” Beca tries to stifle a laugh when she picks up Tom’s scowl. “I mean only if that’s ok with you?” Chloe turns around to face the brunette with a soft smile. “Of course, I would never let you down.”

Not in a million year Beca could ever say no to the adorableness that’s Chloe Beale. “Great, can we go get some take out on our way? My parents are out tonight and we have no food.” Beca quickly agrees and takes Chloe’s bag from her because she always does. All Chloe can do is smile and peck Beca on the cheek because arguing about it is a lost cause.

-,-,-,-,-

2 WEEKS LATER

The game is about to start and Beca is freaking out internally. She’s going over the plays with the rest of the team. “Alright, we’re going to rock this. BHS Bulldogs on 3… ONE-TWO-BULDOGS WHOE WHOE WHOE!” The team gets cheered on even more by their awesome cheer squad. That’s the last push the team needs before running out on the field.

The game has been really intense since the very beginning. The score is tight until the break when the opponents knock Beca down so they can steal the ball when the buzzer sounds. The team quickly makes their way towards their captain on the floor. “Are you ok?” One of the girls asks slightly panicked. “I’m fine but that was a dirty trick.” The brunette grunts when she gets up. “Hey I don’t want to be a spoilsport but if you want to get that surprise going you should get ready.”

“Oh shoot yeah you’re right.” Beca makes her way to the side line so she can give Aubrey and Stacie a sign. They get the clue and take Chloe down while Beca makes her way to the manager who is totally in on the plan. Music starts playing and the whole field gets extremely quiet. Chloe is just confused, she recognizes the song because it’s one of her favorites.

Her heart stops for a moment when she hears the sweet voice that can only belong to one person. The person she has been crushing on forever. The one person she couldn’t live without. “Beca?”

I wanna follow where she goes I think about her and she knows it I wanna let her take control 'Cause everytime that she gets close, yeah

She pulls me in enough to keep me guessing And maybe I should stop and start confessing Confessing, yeah

Beca makes herself fully visible so she can really see Chloe’s reaction to everything. The girls from the cheer squad make their way down and start dancing to the beat.

Oh, I've been shaking I love it when you go crazy You take all my inhibitions Baby, there's nothing holding me back You take me places that tear up my reputation Manipulate my decisions Baby, there's nothing holding me back There's nothing holding me back There's nothing holding me back

She says that she's never afraid Just picture everybody naked She really doesn't like to wait Not really into hesitation

Pulls me in enough to keep me guessing And maybe I should stop and start confessing Confessing, yeah

The boys from the other Barden University Basketball team run out and join is as best as they can.

Oh, I've been shaking I love it when you go crazy You take all my inhibitions Baby, there's nothing holding me back You take me places that tear up my reputation Manipulate my decisions Baby, there's nothing holding me back There's nothing holding me back

Beca is standing on the middle of a perfectly formed circle while Aubrey and Stacie lead Chloe toward her. The redhead is gently crying with a huge smile plastered on her face.

'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright 'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far But I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright

Chloe has no idea when the girls had broken the circle – who would blame her, she’s mesmerized by the most amazing girl in the world – to come back with huge boards with the words ‘WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?’ being spelled out.

Oh, I've been shaking I love it when you go crazy You take all my inhibitions Baby, there's nothing holding me back You take me places that tear up my reputation Manipulate my decisions Baby, there's nothing holding me back There's nothing holding me back I feel so free when you're with me, baby Baby, there's nothing holding me back

The song ends and Beca sheepishly smiles at the redhead before her. She drops her arm that’s holding the microphone. “Sooooo,” Beca drags out awkwardly. “I guess the signs kind of speak for me but… Chloe Anne Beale will you go out on a date with me?”

Chloe stays extremely quiet and Beca starts panicking. The brunette takes a few steps back preparing herself to bolt if Chloe turns her down. Aubrey and Stacie see this happening so step up and stop her. “Chloe?” Aubrey questions her best friend. “Beca I-I would be honored…” the redhead runs forward and leaps into the brunette’s arms, wrapping her arms around her neck to pull her in for a long, tight hug. The field erupts in loud cheers and the girls break apart with huge smiles.

The announcer clears his throat hesitantly. “I’m really sorry folks, I hate to interrupt this wonderful moment but we have a game to play.” Beca looks up to the booth and waves at the guy to show him it’s ok. Chloe pecks Beca on the lips whispering “Go win this game.”

With a new found boost Beca pumps her fist up. “Let’s go team.” The teams all go to their initial places. The basketball girls on the field, the basketball boys sitting on the bleachers and the cheerleaders making their way to the side to cheer even louder for their team.

-,-,-,-,-

30 seconds left on the clock and the score is 99 – 98 and the BHS Bulldogs are losing by one point. Beca is open wide and gets passed the ball.

15 seconds left on the clock. The brunette still has to get to the other side of the field but it’s going to be a very tight stretch.  

8 seconds left on the clock. She decides to make a run for it but the opposing team does not make it easy for her.

3 seconds left, Beca’s far behind the three point line and the shot is risky and maybe too far away. Now or never… Beca takes the risk, and shoots.

2 seconds… the ball travels through the air.

1 seconds… the ball hits the ring.

The buzzer sounds the end of the game but no one makes a sound, no one even dares to take a breath. The ball goes around the ring once… twice… thr-

Beca’s world freezes and she doesn’t hear the loud cheers erupting from the crowd. She gets crushed by her team and the rest of the high school teams. They won only 2 points difference but they still won. The brunette gets lifted up by the boys. Chloe is beaming right up to her. Beca taps the boys on their shoulders to let her down which they quickly comply to.

The brunette gets tapped on her shoulder before she can reach Chloe. She turns around and is being offered the cup by the team captain of the opposing team. “Great game you guys are amazing opponents.”  She takes the cup and holds out her hand so the two captains can shake on it. “Not so bad yourself can’t wait to see what you have in store next year.” The two girls part with smiles and no hard feelings.

Beca finally gets to turn around to face the redhead she’s been waiting to hug. “Hey…” Chloe looks down at her shoes, looking extremely adorable. “Hey…” Beca chuckles. Stacie rolls her eyes and can’t take it. “Oh for crying out loud Beca, just  kiss her already.” Beca cups Chloe’s cheek to make her look up, straight into her eyes searching for a sign from the girl that she might not want to be kissed. But luckily her smile only grows wider. They both lean in to press their lips against the other’s.

It feels like thousands for butterflies just escaped their bodies and fireworks are being lit around them. They thought it something like this would only happen in movies but boy were they wrong. They don’t want to break apart but have too, seeing that they’re still surrounded by way too many people.

Life couldn’t get sweeter for our two high school basketball and cheerleading captains. And it would only get better.

I DO NOT OWN PITCH PERFECT!

FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR FOR SNEEK PEAKS FOR UPCOMING CHAPTERS –katelides

Let me know what you think, feedback is always fun to have :D

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y  ��S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

[tillie-bean]

Echodragon Reads: P4 Chapter 3.

Hey guys, Echo here, and today we delve into chapter 3 of the worst thing I have ever read. I hate my life.

 Chapter 3: Battling a Boisterous Boy

 EchoDragon: Why? Why do you have to do this to me?

 I yawned softly as I sat at my desk.

 EchoDragon: Oh, no, I’m having flashbacks to the first chapter!

 It was 1:01, meaning only 119 minutes were left for the day.

 EchoDragon: Stop clock! F*ck sake, nobody does that! They count down the hours, not the MINUTES.

 Then there was only two more days of this.

 EchoDragon: There WERE only two more day, author. Grammar is important.

 Is it weird to be counting down the seconds until I wasn’t expected to attend this institution anymore?

 EchoDragon: *deadpan* is it weird that I don’t care that you just changed tense?

 Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those stupid brats that moan whenever they have to use their underdeveloped brains for 3 fifths of a second.

 EchoDragon: Suspiciously Specific Denial!

 However, what I hate is the weeks when we aren’t learning anything, and that is what we are currently doing.

 EchoDragon: You! You are the one who is ruining grammar! I’ll kill you!

 The teachers are just killing time and ‘phoning it in’ until the latest batch of ungrateful brats leave for the year to go out into the real world and learn just how soul crushing the experience is.

 EchoDragon: It’s not that bad! I’m doing all right!

 I am sure the best part about being a teacher is running into your previous, annoying students and seeing how much the real world had crushed their spirit and their dreams.

 EchoDragon: umm, that took a dark turn. I’m pretty sure that teachers aren’t that cruel.

 I am sure if I was a teacher and I ran into one of those insects like… James and Rachel I think is their names… and I saw them with their eyes full of despair with their ambitions and annoying mannerisms ground into nothing I would feel so validated and smug.

 EchoDragon: Not one single comma was seen in that entire sentence. I hate my life. Also, what was that? I have no idea what just happened. The first paragraph was just a horrible mish-mash of words that the author just pulled out of her ass. F*ck this.

 I drifted off as I thought back to yesterday. After I was given my Pokemon, Professor Juniper also entrusted me with the most important part of the scholarship of hers, A Pokedex.

 EchoDragon: Why? You don’t have to sit an exam to get a Pokédex! Author just wanted to make Bitchy look better than everyone else! *Flips a table*

 Most people think the most important part about this scholarship is the rare Pokemon.

 EchoDragon: the starter Pokémon aren’t that rare, you know. Anyone can walk into the lab and be given one, as shown in the previous chapter.

 However most people are idiots, and idiots are too busy distracted by the cute Pokemon to realize how important a small, portable information resource on every Pokemon in existence.

 EchoDragon: Yeah, because you didn’t notice how cute they were! You didn’t notice at all!

 It is like carrying an entire library with me everywhere I go.

 EchoDragon: oh, please! Bitchy, are you seriously trying to tell me that you can READ? You’re a liar. A lying liar who lies.

 It is literally priceless, which is probably why so few are made and why you can’t just go to some store and buy one.

 EchoDragon: Wait, you can’t? So where do all of the Pokémon Professors get them, then? I refuse to believe that they aren’t made by a company somewhere. That’s like saying that you can’t go any buy a DNA sequencer. You CAN, but most plebs don’t know where to buy one, and they cost a hell of a lot of money. But scientists are given research funds, and said research funds pay for things like fancy equipment. I refuse to believe that each Pokémon Professor only ever has two to give out. F*ck you, Bitchy. Why don’t you pay attention to the world around you? Then maybe you wouldn’t be so f*cking stupid.

 As I was trying to find something to distract myself, I realized I had subconsciously pulled my Pokeball out of my pockets.

 EchoDragon: yes, she pulled one Pokéball out of multiple pockets. Anyone else see the problem with that? As a side note, I completely lost where we were in that stupid Pokédex speech, and forgot that Bitchy is supposed to be at school.

 I don’t even know why I brought my new Tepig, but I did.

 EchoDragon: I know the answer!

 As someone who (unlike most people my age) has never owned a Pokemon it was always quite fascinating to me seeing people get so attached to Pokemon.

 EchoDragon: Oh, I get it. She’s a special little snowflake because she has never owned a Pokémon before. F*ck you.

 I hypothesised that it was something similar to the attachment a mother feels for their baby, and now that I own one I can confirm that hypothesis.

 EchoDragon: Wait, she has a BABY? How old is she? She’s still at school! I take back everything I said, give this girl some RESPECT! She’s raising a kid! What? Oh. She meant that she now has a POKÉMON. Yeah, never mind. *takes back the respect*

 Maybe Pokemon and humans have evolved to form quick and powerful connections with each other?

 EchoDragon: Because that would be so shocking! That NEVER happens in nature! *Slams down a textbook on co-evolution*

 All I know is if it can effect someone like me it must be powerful.

 EchoDragon: NO. F*CKING. COMMAS.

 “You have a Pokemon?”

 EchoDragon: Who? Who is speaking right now?

 I looked up after hearing the high pitched squeal, and saw that Rachel insect was looking at me shocked.

 EchoDragon: Why is she shocked? It’s not an unusual occurrence in the Pokémon universe.

 “Good, it can analyse information. Pretty soon you will have the intellect of an insect.”

 EchoDragon: Why do you speak like this? It makes you sound so stupid. Author, I know this is called Predictable, PRETENTIOUS Pokemon Plot, but do you have to be so pretentious? You swallowed the Thesaurus, didn’t you?

 I mean what is the point of asking stupid questions like that?

 EchoDragon: *With her head in her hands* what’s the point of reading this stupid fic? *Sobs*

 Of course I have a Pokemon. Who the hell would bring an empty Pokeball with them to their school?

 EchoDragon: Oh, I don’t know, Bitchy. Maybe Pokémon Trainers? You know, they might want to catch some new Pokémon? Wait, what am I talking about? Of course they wouldn’t. Because Bitchy said so! *flings everything off her desk in a rage*

 Then again, this girl was a little on the thick side, both intelligence and appearance wise.

 EchoDragon: Oh, no. you did not just f*cking say that. Ok, author. Imma get real with you, right now. Do you know how many people have issues with their weight? I do. I know, because I’m one of them. It’s an actual problem with actual consequences. Do you know what makes it worse? People like you. People like you who think that just because someone doesn’t have the ‘perfect’ body shape, or isn’t the ‘ideal’ weight, you think you have the right to take the piss out of them, and tear them apart. Do you know what happens when you do that? People become obsessed with their weight, until they can’t see how they really look, and are convinced that they are fat. What the hell is wrong with being bigger? Nothing. Do you really think that calling someone fat makes you any skinnier? It doesn’t. Likewise, calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. So instead of trying to tear people down and make their lives a misery, why don’t you think about what you write, and actually realise that your words do have an effect. Hell, their making me angry right now! But even when you aren’t directing it at someone, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to offend them. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

 For someone who cares so much about their appearance, she sure seems happy to let herself go.

 EchoDragon: What’s the betting that author went to school with a girl called Rachel, and is now trying to get revenge? She’s starting to sound like Stephenie Meyer.

 Rachel looked over to her boyfriend, and whispered something into his ear.

 EchoDragon: ‘Hey, James… wanna do it so we can leave this God-awful fic?’

 He looked back at me, smiled his creepy, greasy smile and turned back to her.

 EchoDragon: He just had a burger, didn’t he! I want a Goddamn burger…

 That smile literally made me shudder, how creepy can you get?

 EchoDragon: It’s very creepy; author has no idea how punctuation works! *cowers in fear*

 The rest of the school day went by more or less without incident, unless you treat insufferable levels of boredom as an incident.

 EchoDragon: Which is why you just skipped over it.

 However, after class was dismissed and everyone left something weird happened.

 EchoDragon: Bitchy saw a comma! She had no idea what it was. It was so scary, she died of fright.

 I was standing there at my locker as I noticed a herd of my insufferable classmates had started to crowd me.

 EchoDragon: Please tell me they have pitchforks and torches…

 I had no idea why, but I assumed about 5 of them decided to surround me and thanks to the stupid sheep mentality most of the populous possesses everyone else just started huddling around me.

 EchoDragon: I… don’t even care anymore. Wake me up when something actually happens. *sleeps*

 I looked at them and sighed, I really didn’t want to interact with these sheep, but I had to get through them.

 EchoDragon: *snores*

 I closed my locker, picked up my bag and walked towards the crowd before stopping in front of them.

 EchoDragon: *still sleeping* Why doesn’t she just go a different way?

 “Move.”

“Say it nicely.”

 EchoDragon: *wakes up* what? Ok, that sounded a little bit… creepy? Things like that are only said in rapey situations. Just saying.

 They guy in front of me creepily giggled after he finished talking.

 EchoDragon: So he’s an eight year old girl? Why the f*ck did I wake up?

 How patronizing can you get? Why would I act polite to you when you treated me like a child?

 EchoDragon: Bitchy, I don’t know how to break it to you, but… you ARE a child.

 “I am not going to say it nicely, now move.”

 EchoDragon: *facepalms* come on, Bitchy. Even I know when to shut up!

 “Awww nah Jasmine, we got a few things we need to talk about. You can’t go anywhere until we are finished talkin.”

 EchoDragon: Who the f*ck talks like this? Scratch that, who the f*ck is speaking? The author never actually tells us. You could add ‘he said’ or ‘she asked’, and at least then it would be slightly easier to follow this story.

 I turned around when I heard the new voice, and saw the king and queen of the sheep standing right next to my locker.

 EchoDragon: I really don’t need a running commentary, Bitchy. Show, don’t tell.

 Well, at least Rachel and James explained why the sheep were here.

 EchoDragon: Why is she calling them sheep? If she was smart, she would call them Mareep.

 “And why are people surrounding me like this?”

 EchoDragon: Because they all want to kill you. I’m leading the mob. *waves pitchfork*

 “Ahhh, cus word got out what I am bout ta do ta ya.”

 EchoDragon: No joke. That’s actually what was written. What I find weird is that in the first chapter, James could actually speak like a normal human being. Also, if he was really that bad at speaking, he wouldn’t have said ‘I am’. Just saying.

 I looked at him, was this some sort of lynch mob?

 EchoDragon: Whenever author uses commas, she uses them in the wrong places. Just once, I would like to be able to read a sentence and not insert commas in my head.

 Not that’s stupid, why the hell would those people get a crowd to attack me like this?

 EchoDragon: I know the answer!

 Well they wouldn’t it is that simple.

 EchoDragon: Does anyone have a comma?

 But something was definitely wrong here, something weird.

 EchoDragon: No, Bitchy, NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

 “And what exactly can insects like you do to me. Apart from beating me up which if that is what you are here to do is quite pathetic.”

 EchoDragon: Can anybody understand what she just said? I bloody can’t.

 Some people might think that is digging my own grave, but honestly I doubt comments like that are going to trigger anything.

 EchoDragon: Correct, Bitchy. They won’t. Because they make NO F*CKING SENSE.

 If my comments were the straw that broke the camel’s back then they were probably going to attack me anyway.

 EchoDragon: Oh no! She had apostrophe itis! Kill it with fire! *Breathes fire*

 Also I get enough abuse hurled at me, I don’t want them to think I am inconsistent.

 EchoDragon: *whispers* what the f*ck?

 “Wat I’m gonna do is I am gonna get dat pride of yurs and smash it inta peeces.”

 EchoDragon: What the actual f*ck? Why is he speaking like this? Why? There are so many red lines on my screen at the moment, I’m pretty sure that my word processor is going to die again. IF MICROSOFT GETS TO ESCAPE, I CAN TOO! DON’T LEAVE ME TO DO THIS ALONE! *dies* *word processor dies*

 What the hell is he talking about?

“What the hell are you talking about James?”

 EchoDragon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 “Well, I know dat you got yur Pokemon yesterday right?”

 EchoDragon: Oh. My. Arceus. Why is he talking in text-talk? I get it, he can’t speak. But how the f*ck do you pronounce ‘yur’? Answers on a postcard, please!

 Not right, left.

 EchoDragon: What?

 But he was correct.

 EchoDragon: I know he’s right. We just spend an ENTIRE F*CKING CHAPTER waiting for you to get the stupid thing.

 Congratulations to him, he wins fabulous prizes.

 EchoDragon *as the author* ‘haha, I’m so funny! This joke is hilarious! I’m so smart, and so is Jasmine!’ *whispers* F*ck you.

 “Yeah why?”

He sneered and smiled his usual, shiver inducing smile. God that guy is disgusting.

 EchoDragon: Hey, Bitchy, maybe you should tell everyone how horrible James is again. I think some people might have missed it.

 “Well, I myself have my own Pokemon. And me and Rachel ova here were thinkin we could battle you.”

 EchoDragon: *EastEnders music plays* Shock f*cking horror.

 I sighed, the crowd was probably here to witness what was happening.

 EchoDragon: You think?!

 Not many people here had Pokemon, so Pokemon battles were a rare spectacle that people flocked to, similar to the crowds that gathered in the colosseums of ancient civilisations whenever there was a fight between a man and a Pokemon.

 EchoDragon: But you said that you were the only one who didn’t have a Po- actually, why am I even surprised? Anyway, author, what games have you been playing? Pokémon and humans fighting EACH OTHER FOR SPORT?  I must have missed that. Oh, that’s right. It never happened, but you wanted to create your own source of canon. F*ck you, whore.

 Those were dark days in human civilisation.

 EchoDragon: Today is a dark day. F*cking blue skies, and I’m sat here reading this s*it.

 “And why would I waste my time, and potentially risk my precious Pokemon’s health fighting someone like you?”

 EchoDragon: *singing* never mind, I’ll fight someone like yooooouuuuu... *head desk* I don’t know, Bitchy. Maybe because you’re a f*cking Pokémon trainer? It’s what they DO, you f*cktard.

 This time, Rachel stepped up in front of James and decided to answer me in her completely not charming and incredibly shrill voice.

 EchoDragon: We get it, you don’t like her. Shut up.

 “If you are so much betta than the rest of us why the hell wouldn’t you want to battle us huh? After that little speech of yours I am sure you want to demonstrate how much ‘betta’ you are than the rest of us. But if you’re too scared I guess you aren’t as great as you say.”

 EchoDragon: How old are you, author? In what universe do people older than four act like this?

 She more or less repeated the same thing twice, which was annoying.

 EchoDragon: Here’s an idea, author. If you yourself can see that you have just repeated the same thing over and over, maybe you should stop being redundant, and start trying to fix it. If you think your own writing is annoying, instead of pointing it out in your own story, CHANGE IT! Then I wouldn’t be reading it, and I would be happy again.

 But even more annoying was that, whilst I was fully aware that she was using a childish tactic to trick me into helping her that only an idiot would fall for.

 EchoDragon: Wait, what? What was annoying? I’m so f*cking confused! That sentence should not have ended there!

 The problem was whilst I wasn’t an idiot, I was falling for it.

 EchoDragon: Bitchy is an idiot = confirmed.

 Something about what she was saying was tickling something in me, infuriating me.

 EchoDragon: Umm, DUH. That’s the whole point!

 I looked up at the crowd, I probably couldn’t make them move so I might have to battle anyway…

 EchoDragon: Or you could say no…

 No that is me trying to justify fighting these people by tricking myself into think I haven’t fallen for something idiotic.

 EchoDragon: How could you miss that typo?

 Dammit why do I have to be so self aware…

 EchoDragon: *laughing* what? What the actual f*ck? Do you even know what being self-aware IS?

 Whatever, what do I have to lose?

 EchoDragon: your Pokémon, maybe?

 Nothing except my pride in myself, which doesn’t matter too much to these people.

 Echodragon: YOU wouldn’t be the one battling, though, would you? Your Tepig would be. So you clearly don’t care about your Pokémon, which you claim to love like a child. F*ck you.

 I sighed before I dropped my bag.

 EchoDragon: why the f*ck did you drop your bag? Oh wait, I don’t care!

 I reached down and pulled out the red and white coloured ball of mine.

 EchoDragon: Purple prose is purple.

 I stood up.

 EchoDragon: I don’t care…

��“I am not necessarily happy about being goaded into this, but I accept your challenge.”

 EchoDragon: Hey, No one is FORCING you to battle. You could just walk away. It’s not like you met his eyes or anything.

 There was a loud ‘OOOOOOOOOH’ing sort of noise from the crowd, probably to signal that they were surprised I accepted the challenge.

 EchoDragon: No, it was to signal that you’re a little bitch.

 Honestly though it sounded like that mating call of some weird predatory beast found in the middle of the Hoenn rainforests.

 EchoDragon: what rainforests? There are no rainforests in Hoenn, unless I’m very much mistaken.

 James scratched his face as he laughed.

 EchoDragon: Why did he do that? Did he have an itchy face?

 “Lady, I’m gonna make ya take back that little speech of yers.”

 EchoDragon: Why is everyone so pissed off about the speech? I know, it was horrible, but she’s done so many other s*itty things. I really don’t think they should be focusing on one event. They should instead focus on how much of a s*itty person she is.

 The only thing more gross than his smile and laugh was the way he butchered the correct pronunciation of basic words.

 EchoDragon: you know, I really don’t think I could have worked that out on my own. Thanks for the clarification. Now go sit on a cactus.

 “And once I beat you it will become apparent how below me you truly are”

 EchoDragon: Ok, I have no idea who is speaking. I’m assuming it’s Bitchy, but for all I know, a random person could have started speaking.

 Once again this man and his girlfriend started laughing, I don’t know why since I didn’t say anything that warranted such a reaction.

 EchoDragon: They looked at your face, Bitchy. That’s why they laughed.

 “You are at least honest you whore.”

 EchoDragon: Aww yeah, slut shaming! Yeah, you tell her, James/Rachel!

 There was that annoying, shrill voice again.

 EchoDragon: It would be so much easier just to say: ‘Rachel said’ at the end.

 The name however annoyed me, since by all definition I am not a whore.

 EchoDragon: Just keep telling yourself that, Bitchy.

 I have no idea why people like her seem to lose their cool and devolve into insults so easily but what should you expect?

 EchoDragon: Because when you insult people, you’re trying to hurt them. So she called to a whore to hurt your feelings, because you treat her like s*it all the time.

 “Dis is gonna be a one vs one Pokemon match, mine vs yurs. Simple enuff right?”

 EchoDragon: This doesn’t happen before a battle, you know. You just decide to battle.

 James pulled out a Pokeball as he explained the rules to me.

 EchoDragon: I really f*cking hate the writing in this fic. I know he’s explaining the rules. I can read.

 I half expected it to be covered in dirt, so I was pleasantly surprised when it rather clean.

 EchoDragon:Hey, author? I think you that sentence.

 Looks like whilst he couldn’t maintain a clean appearance he could maintain a clean Pokeball.

 EchoDragon: that’s because he likes to touch his balls…

 “let’s get this over with. I should be home by now. Go Vulcan!”

 EchoDragon: hmm. Let’s see how appropriate the nickname ‘Vulcan’ is, shall we? Ok, so Vulcan is a Roman fire God, commonly associated with volcanoes. Ok, I’ll give you that one.

 I threw down my Pokeball, and once it hit the ground my small pig Pokemon burst from it, before the ball floated back into my hand.

 EchoDragon: Pokéballs don’t float…

 Yeah I nicknamed my Tepig, so what?

 EchoDragon: there’s nothing wrong with nicknaming a Pokémon!

 And no I don’t care if you don’t like the nickname.

 EchoDragon: Was that supposed to be an author’s note? When writing in the first person, the character isn’t really supposed to be directing narration as if they know the audience is there. You’re breaking the fourth wall there, author.

 Once I had caught the Pokeball again my Tepig oinked loudly, and turned around and looked up at me smiling a stupid looking smile that made me smile myself.

 EchoDragon: Why are you saying that Tepig looks stupid? It’s adorable! You’re a little Bitch, and I hate you.

 “Pffffft you called your Tepig Vulcan, how lame can a bitch like you get.”

 EchoDragon: Of course. The ‘enemies’ don’t like it.

 I just explained that I don’t care if people dislike the name Rachel.

 EchoDragon: No, you said you didn’t care if people didn’t like the name VULCAN, Bitchy. Also, Rachel couldn’t hear you. She can’t read minds.

 Shut up, and stop swearing too it is unnecessary.

 EchoDragon: I don’t want to stop f*cking searing! Imma use all the Goddamn swear words I like, Bitch. You know what, you f*ckwit? I’m gonna swear in every bloody sentence from now on, and you’re just gonna have to deal with it! Peace out, mother f*cker!

 “Nickname or not, Imma make pork chops out of that pig. Go Patrat!”

 EchoDragon: *sniggers* Ok, that was pretty funny. I like you, James.

 James threw a Pokeball down as he shouted that and once it hit the ground it released a small, brown rat with eye that looked like the eyes of a lunatic in a children’s cartoon.

 EchoDragon: Ha! Get it! Patrat IS in a children’s cartoon! That’s so funny! *grabs scalpel* Get out.

 I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was ugly.

 EchoDragon: That’s funny, that’s how I felt when I first saw this fic!

 The unknown Pokemon growled at the back of my Vulcan, which attracted my Pokemon’s attention and caused him to turn around.

 EchoDragon: Oh, for f*cks sake, the Tepig is as stupid a Bitchy! I’m pretty sure it would hear someone talking and maybe think: ‘oh, things are happening, maybe I should turn the f*ck around instead of looking at this bint,’ but no. Vulcan the Tepig is cursed with stupidity. I’m so sorry, Vulcan. Your life will be short, and full of hatred. Let’s have a moment of silence for Vulcan the Tepig. He was too good to be this stupid. *Gross sobbing*

 Once it looked at the Pokemon that I recognised from studying as Patrat my Vulcan realized what was happening, and tried to intimidate it by growling. However it failed miserably at it.

 EchoDragon: If you recognised it, why did you say it was unknown? Are you really as stupid as you look?

 I kinda wish I knew more about that Patrat though beca… wait I am a moron.

 EchoDragon: I could have told you that!

 I have a Pokedex in my pocket,

 EchoDragon: And I have no f*cks left to give!

 You know, a device that is more or less a portable library.

 EchoDragon: Oh, God, don’t start on about the library AGAIN!

 I pulled out the Pokedex and opened it up slowly.

 EchoDragon: I don’t care. At all.

 Having used it on Tepig yesterday I knew how to use the basic functions, so I didn’t look like an idiot in front of this crowd.

 EchoDragon: Right. After using it very briefly ONCE, she knows exactly how to use it. I call bulls*it!

 Then again I don’t know why I care if they think I am an idiot or not.

 EchoDragon: I don’t know either, Bitchy. You don’t like these people, so why do you care what they think?

 I opened my Pokedex and pointed it at the Patrat, when the automatic scan feature was enabled.

 EchoDragon: you opened a Pokédex that was already open. Right.

 After a second of loading suddenly its screen was filled with information about Patrat, such as its potential move-pool, typing, information about the species and where you can find it.

 EchoDragon: I… think you may be confusing the Pokédex with the DexNav, which is similar, but NOT THE SAME THING! Dumbass.

 I looked at the Pokedex and using this information quickly came up with a plan.

 EchoDragon: Ok, I’m going to cheat here. The rest of this chapter is the single most boring attempt at a Pokémon battle that I have ever read, so I’m going to skip it, and just give you a quick run-down of what happened. Ready?

Vulcan the f*ckpig used Tackle. Tackle is never a plan. Patrat used Tackle. Both Pokémon got hurt. I don’t really get it either. Vulcan used Tackle. Patrat used Tackle. I try to kill myself from boredom. Tepig used Ember to, and I quote, “Burn that ugly Patrat!” Tepig used Tackle. Patrat faints. Then we get this gem.

 I won, as expected from someone like me.

 EchoDragon: The end! That was s*it. And guess what? Next chapter, author tries to throw a plot into the story! And yes, it is crap.

 Bye for now, Puddings!

~Echodragon

[penguinsocksworks]

See You At Home (1/?)

Read on AO3

Read on Tumblr: Chapter 1

Summary:Keith is just one of those normal teenagers living a double life, trying to balance being a superhero named Red and a boring college kid. Keith also has two major annoyances in his life: his roommate Lance, and his teammate blue. He swears to god, it's almost like they're the same person!

Or

Keith and Lance are roommates who don't know that the other is also part of earth's very own evil fighting squad; Voltron. Shiro and Allura shake their heads a lot, Hunk offers supportive smiles, Pidge laughs their ass off and Coran doesn't get what the big deal is.

SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS BUT YOLO AMIRITE? No but seriously, Nessa, Happy birthday and I seriously hope this is what you were looking for.

To all the readers that are reading this: I'm fairly new to this fandom and I haven't been apart for that long. That being said I tried to keep this as in character as I could but... idk. I attempt to be funny too, so warning for bad humor. This was originally just supposed to be a private one shot for my friend Nessa's birthday but it turned into something a little more when I started to think about it more. And so I wanted to share it will the community! I'm not sure when updates will come, but I'm looking forward to working on this. Im scared to call this a miraculous lady bug AU cause it really has nothing to do with that show but it has superhero concepts from the show so like... its not completely but the concepts are owned by them. So I hope you all enjoy!

Nessa requested that this fic contain: HeLL ToNS OF FlUfF, Keith interacting with kids, enough angst to make you need tissues for a year, cute oblivious boys, smartass Pidge, and like five other things. So lets see if I can make it work. Lets play the 'lets guess how many chapters long this fic will be' game.

If you wanna hmu for anything here on tumblr you can! Im currently taking prompts to distract me in between writing this when i need a break.

SO AFTER THAT WHOLE SPIEL ENJOY MY SHITTY WRITING!

Keith will kick his ass one of these days. Seriously, say he won't cause he'd absolutely attack his teammate right in the middle of this fight. He could've gotten the both of them killed!

“Red,” a hand landed itself on his heaving shoulder, “You okay?”

Keith turned to snap at the voice, ready to release his anger all over the black paladin that dared ask him if he was okay. But he didn't. He stopped halfway, because yelling at Black wouldn't do anything but get him in trouble, whether it be in general or having to face Pinks scolding later on about being nice to your fellow paladins.

All these code names were confusing as hell to Keith, but he supposed that they had to keep their identities hidden for their “loved ones” safety. Or so said Pink, aka his brothers girlfriend, ahem sorry fiancé as of last Friday, Allura. She was deemed the leader of Voltron when Coran had come to earth, crashing through the ceiling of Shiro and Alluras nice apartment, and told her that she was the long lost princess of Altea.

In the middle of taco night too.

It started off like any normal night. Keith had to attend mandatory family dinner nights at least once a month or he'd get yelled at by both Allura and Shiro. Keith didn't quite get it, since it was only the three of them that attended these dinners and he often wondered why Shiro never insisted that Lance, Hunk, and Pidge tag along as well.

Shiro probably just wanted a break from all the kids at once. And! He'd get to harass his little adopted brother as much as he pleased in this setting without having to worry about embarrassing him too much. Shiro was thoughtful like that. Call him a saint if you will.

“So,” Shiro had been sprinkling more cheese onto the meat of his Taco Bell taco, “What was Lance up to tonight?”

Normally Keith would just shrug, he would never be able to predict exactly what his roommate would spontaneously plan when he was out, but this time he had received a definite answer to his “so Lance, I'm heading over to Shiro’s tonight, what are you going to do?”

he usually just received a joking “I dunno, just go already. Your presence is making me sick.”

But Yes, Keith actually had an answer for Shiro's inevitable question this time around, “Movie night with Pidge and Hunk.”

Keith would rather be watching a movie with them than be interrogated and made fun of all night by Allura and Shiro, but it was the last day of the month and they hadn't gotten their dinner in. Allura hummed, “So how is school? Getting good grades I presume?”

“Y’know, for someone who claims to not be good with kids,” Keith shot Allura a glare, “You've been upping the mom talk lately. Is there a time constraint on this wedding that I should know about?”

“Haha Keith,” Allura rolled her eyes, “No there isn't. Can I not be concerned for the person I've known for practically all of his life?”

Keith scowled, “I met you when I was five. And you hated me back then.”

“That's because all the foster ladies thought that you were the cutest thing since puppies and gave you extra cookies,” Allura waved her fork. She always used a fork, claiming it was just unnatural to eat tacos with your hands, “Surely you can't blame me for that. I even braided your hair!”

“You are like the big sister I never asked for,” Keith mumbled into his food. His eyes only narrowed further when Allura got that weird gleam in her eyes.

“I'm going to be your actual sister soon,” Allura grasped at Shiro’s hand, “Isn't that right sweetie?”

“That's right pumpkin!” Shiro just cooed back with a sickly sweet look.

They only did this when they wanted to torture Keith. And boy did it work, “You two are the reason I don't believe in love.”

“Shouldn't that be the other way around?” Allura just smiled, head resting on her palm now.

Keith scoffed, “No couple could ever be ask cutesy as you guys. I'm calling BS on all this. It's all fake.”

He didn't like the weight of Shiro's hand on his shoulder, it was the tell tale sign of a serious dad talk, “Keith. You will find someone some day that will make you act like this.”

“Oh god I hope not,” Keith crinkled his nose, “If I ever look this dumb just… shoot me.”

“Who knows Keith,” Allura had a sing song quality to her voice that he didn't like, “Maybe you've already met that special someone. Maybe you already act this stupid with someone.”

“What are you imply-”

And that's when Coran promptly crashed through the ceiling, luckily not causing any major injuries.

Coran had been ecstatic that Allura had managed to find at least two of the paladins. Meaning him and Shiro. It had something to do with the earring and dog tag they had gotten over the years. Keith still played with the single stud in his earlobe when he was nervous. It had become a habit. But after everything that's happened recently, he almost felt like tossing it into a river and never looking back.

“Princess Allura! It is I, Coran, your faithful caretaker all the way from Altea,” Coran bowed in front of Allura, “I have dreadful news of our home planet. But that is not important right now.”

“Who… How on earth do you know my name!” Allura backed away a bit, “I demand you tell me now!”

“I've known you since you were a baby, Princess,” Coran wiped a tear, “I was just as sad as the rest of the royal family when we had to send you here.”

“Send me here?” Shiro looked at Alluras dumbfounded countenance and contemplated getting a pan to hit the guy with.

“For your protection, of course. Ah, Allura my girl! I'm so proud of you!” Coran put his hands on his hips. Keith just couldn't look away from his voluptuous mustache, “You managed to find two Paladins already!”

“Paladins?” Allura squeaked out, looking as shocked as Keith felt.

Coran just tilted his head and grinned, “Yes! And just in time too, Zarkon and a fleet of soldiers should be coming any minute to retrieve Voltron.”

“Voltron…?” Keith felt as if he had heard that name from somewhere before. Had Pidge mentioned it?

All three of them were shocked, Coran just  blinked curiously and explained for the unpteenth time that evil forces were on their way and they needed to find the other paladins. Of course none of them moved.

Except for Alluras hand, sliding over to call for 911.

To be fair, it's not everyday that someone comes crashing into an apartment ceiling, claiming that your flimsy little accessories could turn you into a badass crime fighter. Or that you were the long lost princess of a dead civilization. It was crazy and insane, but as Coran showed them how to summon their weapons and costumes from their respective jewelry pieces, it started to become a whole lot more real.

Either that or someone slipped something into their tacos. Which was possible. Keith had seen the cashier hopped up on something more than once around campus. He was more disappointed about his crushed dinner than concerned about the whole forming Voltron thing.

He had priorities bitch.

When Keith yelled out an embarrassingly cliche phrase to release his outfit, “Red Paladin! Defender of Voltron!” There was a flashing light and he was blinded for a moment. He looked sheepishly down at his armor, admiring the solid almost lightly matted red coloring. the sword was an unusual weight in his palm, he was used to a lighter fencing sword, but the cool metal that seeped through his covered fingers felt powerful.

The helmets on their heads covered their hair and the tinted visors made it hard to make out any sort of eyes. The outfit made it out so that the only feature of theirs that could be really recognizable on their faces were their mouths.  

After that initial transformation, Allura with her pink suit on, felt her necklace chime out. The sweet bells that were released when she first summoned her outfit was replaced by harsh screeching. Coran made an inhumanly high girlish squeal and led them all aboard the ship that he had used to destroy their tacos. Dinner was completely forgotten. Keith had a bad feeling about going onto a strange ship. Shiro always said not to go into strange vehicles. But then again, Shiro was also heading into this strange vehicle so...

Aboard the ship, the three of them were led to a command center of some sort, five chairs surrounding one pedestal. Shiro and Keith sat in what could have been their designated chairs, the ones glowing black and red.

“Princess,” Coran twirled the ends on his mustache, “please place your necklace in the hole!”

There was a heart shaped divot in the plain looking circuit board in front of her. She diligently removed her necklace that she had possessed since she first showed up on the foster cares doorstep and placed it in the hole, probably thinking this was still some strange dream.

The castle ship thing took off and landed somewhere in the middle of their city. Keith could feel himself pale at the sight of it, a beast robot of some sort preparing to take down building after building.

“Shiro…” he looked towards his adoptive brother, “Shiro what's happening.”

The older male just shrugged, awe struck at the sight.

“Chop chop! Let's go you two, your so called earth isn't going to defend itself!”

Coran shouted out, almost gleefully.

Shiro stood, “What? You can't be serious. We don't even know how to fight properly.”

Keith knew that Shiro did. Even just a little bit. He’s in the army, or he was at least. Deployed for only a year and a half and one missing arm to prove his time. He was a fighter, and if it wasn't for Allura, himself, and that therapists disapproval, Keith was sure that Shiro would go and sign himself up again.

“Oh don't be ridiculous! You'll be fine!” Coran started to push on their backs, “Though the ticks are ticking away!”

“Coran!” Allura lurched forward in her chair, closer to a hologram screen that popped up, “What is that?”

On the screen appeared three other figures, looking about as panicked as they all felt. But they had on outfits so similar to Keith and Shiro's that they stood out from the normal civilians, who were panicking and running away.

Coran let out a giddy noise, “Those are the other Paladins! How delightful, they're all in the same area. Good work Princess! We won't have to do any relocating!”

Keith and Shiro looked at eachother, then back at the screen. The yellow one looked like he pulled out a gun of some sort. Shocked himself by doing it too.

“Go on! Don't let all your fellow teammates do the hard work.” Coran ebbed them out of the ship.

By some movie magic bullshit they won without truly knowing what to do. Going into the details of their first uncoordinated and messy battle wouldn't be worth the effort. Just know it was bad and quite stereotypical for a first battle with a new team. The monster that these evil Galra things that Coran mentioned was one of those level one types. So it wasn't like they were smart and sent a boss to strike while the iron was hot, as Shiro put it. Which was good for them. Bad for the Galra. They all followed Shiro and Alluras careful commands to shoot here or stab there or watch out for that falling car Blue or holy shit seriously just watch out.

It was grueling. And by the end of it, Coran released some other magic bull shit, like fucking fairy dust sparkles, and the half destroyed city looked as if it had never been touched. As if a giant space alien thing hadn't just almost blown it to smithereens. As if Keith, Shiro, Allura, and these three other mystery people hadn't almost been killed.

What a day. Definitely one for the journal. And yes, it was a journal not a diary, no matter what Keith's annoying ass roommate said. Journals help keep track of events and important things while diarys were just something girls wrote in hoping they'd get taken so they could live their dreams of being in a cheesy Disney movie.

There was a difference.

“Good work team!” Shiro tried to smile as they all boarded the ship. The new guys marveled.

“Woah!” The green one’s eyes sparkled at the high tech looking castle interior, “What is this place?”

“This is the castle of lions!” Coran smiled waving his arms out, “it's our new base. Welcome paladins!”

The yellow guy tilted his head, looking impossibly innocent for someone of his stature, “b-base? You mean like, we're going to have to fight those guys again? Like. All the time?”

“Essentially yes. Until Zarkon and the Galra empire are taken down.” Coran played with his mustache.

“Sweet!” Keith flinched as the blue guy screamed in his ear, an arm nearly hitting him, “This is gonna be so cool! Imagine all the ladies that are going to be lining up to see a superhero.”

“Ah,” Allura spoke up, “That's probably something we should discuss.”

The newly found princess was startled when the blue paladin bowed and calmly spoke, “We can talk about it as long as you need your highness. Maybe somewhere private? Dinner perhaps?”

Keith figured by the way the Yellow and Green paladins shook their heads and tsked that the Blue one did that a lot. Of course there would be someone with that type of personality on the team. The type of personality that clashed with Keith's own. The type that Keith already had to deal with in his day to day life. He wasn't sure how he would cope with another guy like Lance. That sorry excuse for both a roommate and a reluctant friend.

Okay… he wasn't that bad. But Keith couldn't stand it sometimes.

“Blue’s not really my color,” Allura shook her head and laughed a bit.

“Back off blue,” Shiro’s voice held no malice, he actually smiled at the antic, “This one’s mine.”

The blue guy blushed. Or at least Keith thinks he did, it was hard to tell under the helmet and visor, “Ah sorry ‘bout that man.”

“Don't be. It's fine,” Shiro was never one to pick a fight for no valid reason.

“Idiot,” Keith whispered to himself before he could stop. He hoped that the guy hadn't heard, he didn't want to fight on the first day of making their team.

No luck. The blue ones head shot up, teeth baring slightly. Keith was sure that the guy was going to pounce on him, or yell at him or… something. But he froze for a millisecond before putting on a smile that made Keith's inside move in a funny way. Good funny or bad funny he couldn't tell.

“Well hello,” Blue grabbed his hand, placing a small kiss on it, “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”

Keith swiped his hand back wearing a look of shock, the blush prickling at his skin. It only deepened when Green let out a howl of laughter and was bent at the waist trying to catch their breath.

Shiro cleared his throat, clearly amused at how flustered his brother was. He could almost picture Keith glaring daggers behind his tinted visor. Laughing slightly, he tried to veer the conversation back, “We should discuss our identities.”

The blue one nodded, placing his chin in the crook between his thumb and pointer, “We have to be like Clark Kent right? And protect who we really are for the sake of our loved ones?”

Allura chuckled, probably to be polite, “Yes. Like um, Batman…?”

“Superman! How do you not know superman?” The green one exclaimed, the yellow one put a hand over its mouth to shut them up.

Shiro cleared his throat, “Okay. How about we just make this simple and go by colors. I'll be Black, the princess can be Pink, and there on.”

“What a splendid idea!” Coran seemed to brighten, “I can just go by Coran though. If you prefer.”

“Yes. Okay, then that's settled,” Allura breathed out, “We must not reveal our identities to anyone, including all of us here. The less people that know who we truly are the better. That means transforming out of sight and away from people.”

“Okay question though,” Blue interrupted, “How do we transform? Cause I kinda just tapped my ring when it started glowing and ended up like this.”

Coran smiled, “it's simple, just hold it for three seconds and say “ whatever color you are paladin! Defender of Voltron” you should be fine. Just as long as you don't let those things out of your sight.”

Coran gestured to the jewelry before twirling his moustache. Shiro coughed, “Well, then we'll just have to make sure that they're secure at all times.”

“Yes, the Lion spirits have all chosen you,” Coran leaned back on the dashboard and Keith felt like he was about to get a long lecture.

Green, who had been slumped back in their chair, hunched over to look slightly intrigued by the tale, “Lion spirits?”

“Yes! The lion spirits! Each of you has a possession that a lion has chosen specially. They were all sent to this planet with Allura when she was born and they seem to have chosen all of you,” Coran pointed his finger up towards the ceiling and smiled, “All of you must have very good souls if the lions chose you. Their original Paladins were nothing but Noble.”

“Yes but how did we not… not realize that we had their, um… spirits? Is that what you called them?” Shiro waited for Corans confirmation nod before continuing, “How did we not realize that we had them?”

Blue held out a hand too, “Yeah and how did they know that we’d buy these things?”

“Ah that is a fascinating story,” Coran pulled up a diagram in the space between them, the lights sparkling with an unreadable story, “The lions found their homes in your jewellery, as you call it, after you obtained them. They often track their potential paladins for a while before choosing and they have the ability to talk with their paladins and empathize with them. Perhaps they didn’t think that you were ready for knowledge of their existence yet.”

Keith felt a shiver run down his spine and a warming comfort pool in his stomach. Was it coming from his earring? Was that supposed to be Red? Or! Or! A better explanation for this was that Keith was currently stoned out of his mind or drugged and slumped over at Shiro’s from the obviously tainted tacos and this was all an extremely elaborate acid trip.

“Zarkon will do anything to get his hands on these spirits. Send spies or bounty hunters, or as you have seen, giant robots. The transformations should only last about four of your earth hours max before you need to reset them,” Coran nodded, before pulling what looked like a watch up to his eyes, “Which should be coming up soon. Hurry along, we wouldn't want your identities to be revealed. I’ll go over Altea’s history and the destruction next time, I’m sure you want to hear about that Princess. Your parents would've been proud of how you turned out.”

Allura just nodded, but Keith knew that she really wanted to know more than she was letting on. It was something that the both of them had wanted to know about for a long time. Back when he and Allura were both staying at the same foster home before she aged out of that particular home when Keith was nine and she was fifteen they used to sit around and talk about stuff like this. Their origins.

Keith, poor little Keith who was six years her junior was always hanging around Allura. Which was unusual for him, considering that he liked to be left alone most of the time. At first she found him annoying, Keith was almost positive of this, but she eventually warmed up to the lost child. They’d sit outside on the roof after the foster ladies would go to bed and just look at the stars and laugh about how their parents were probably somewhere in space fighting evil and just dying to come back to see them soon. It was Allura who taught Keith how much fun things like gymnastics could be, showing him how to do cartwheels and front hand springs. It was a nice way to pass those summer days at the foster home.

When she left that was the beginning of one of Keith’s dark periods. He hated describing it like that. It wasn't really all that terrible, but he supposed that there wasn't really a better name for it. He completely closed off, fearing that anyone he would get close to would have to be taken away from him again. He just… learned to adapt. It made him tougher in a way, more skeptical. His curious doe eyes didn't gleam with the same childlike wonderment. But he was still keith, and he learned how to live life. It wasn’t until the Shirogane’s adopted him that he started to feel better, he had even made a few friends at school. Lance had shouted at him and resented his “totally awesome and perfect” being at first, but once Hunk and Pidge had taken a liking towards him Lance started to warm up as well. And by the time Allura had come back into his life as his brothers fancy new girlfriend he was relatively… stable, again. Keith couldn't help but smile a bit at that thought, all the coincidences. He also couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of Allura, finally getting to see where she was from. Cause yes, Keith was at some sort of peace, and yes, he had a loving family and close friends… but that wasn't the same as knowing where you came from. Why you weren’t wanted in the first place…

“Thank you Coran,” Shiro gave a firm nod and Keith almost parroted him like a child would their parent. The man being thanked just smiled widely like he knew something they didn’t and he popped open the gate. With that they left, Coran promising to alert them via tacky jewelry when they should meet up again to train.

That was also about two weeks ago. Now Keith was about ready to kill Blue for nearly shooting him while trying to aim for a Galra. Granted it probably saved Keith a nasty blow to the head and grueling trip to those weird healing pod thingys, but Blue still could've hit him.

Slicing through a robot, Keith growled and pretended it was the other Paladin. Yellow whistled, “woah. Nice one there buddy. I think that was the last of them.”

“Alright Coran!” Blue yelled into their intercom, “Were good down here! Release the fairy dust!”

After the town magically regenerated, the paladins all marched back into the castle, Keith instantly turning to Blue, “You could've shot my head off!”

“But see, here's the thing Red,” Blue stuck up his nose, “I didn't. And I managed to save your ass. This isn't exactly the outstanding thank you that I should be getting.”

“Whatever Blue,” Keith's cheeks were hot, from anger of course, not from that confident and amused smile, “just be careful next time.”

The red paladin stomped past and into the castle before the rest of them, heading towards the main room to probably get briefed before going back to his apartment to crash. It had been a long few hours, and this stupid town was just lucky that he didn't have any homework due the next day.

“What's his deal?” He could hear Blue ask Yellow as they followed him in.

Allura was in a rush, her words jumbled as she spoke, “Alright good work today paladins! We are really bonding as a team. Some need more work than others-” she pointedly looked at Keith and Blue “-and I would love to stay and chat but this fight has taken up more time that I think any of us have anticipated. It is drawing on the fourth hour and if we do not hurry, we will transform back soon.”

With that they were all dismissed and scattered. When Keith finally made it to the apartment he didn't even have enough energy to question where Lance was or why he wasn't back. His roommate would show up eventually. Eventually.

~~~

Keith woke up to the all too chipper sound of his phone. He would have to go and get Lance out of bed soon, the guy didn't seem to wake up to his own alarms. Keiths newest task was to get him to classes on time, as strenuous and torturing it can be sometimes. And despite all those things he said, he and Lance were friends.

Ish.

They had their moments, and they lived together! That had to count for something. They also shared the same friends, and a lot of the same classes. A few were differed here and there due to time. In the slots where Keith took fencing and gymnastics classes, Lance took archery and swimming or track (depending on the season). Both majoring in astrophysics.

Keith put two toaster waffles into their little second hand toaster and wandered down the hall to their bathroom to brush his teeth. He frowned at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink, his hair was sticking up in an unattractive way. Running a comb through it and watching it pop back up, Keith huffed. It was going to be one of those days. He quickly tied as much of it up as he could, though it still looked like a mess, and left the lights on as he exited.

He decided to get dressed after eating (not wanting a repeat of the previous morning where he spilt juice all over himself and had to frantically change),  so he skipped his bedroom instead going to get Lance, yawning as he opened the door without knocking, “Lance!”

“Five more minutes,” Lance pulled the blankets over her head, tightening his grip, “The you can drag me to hell all you want.”

“I'm going to go get the water,” there was only a hint of a playful tone in his voice. Because yes, he had once thrown a bucket of water at Lance. Though, being the boy who was always oblivious to common sayings and such, he had actually thrown the bucket as well. How was he supposed to know that you were just supposed to dump the water out? No books ever specified. But regardless of Keiths slight lapse in judgement, it had made a nice bruise form on Lance’s face that stayed for a week or two.

Lance shot up not wanting a repeat, “Don't!”

“Good morning,” Keith rolled his eyes, totally not ready to deal with the image of Lance’s stupid bed head. Ya know, cause he’d just complain about it, no other reason, Keith just trying to save his ears from the barrage of complaints that his roommate would make, not cause it was endearing or any other synonym of the word, “Get up or we’ll have no time to eat.”

Once Keith was out of the room, Lance unwrapped himself from his cocoon of warmth, exposing his skin to the cold autumn air. It was way too freaking early. It was always way to freaking early.

He quickly ran into the bathroom to brushed his teeth, nearly squirting the mint toothpaste everywhere and cursing under his breath. A clean smile is a nice smile. And a nice smile woos the ladies. Pulling on a shirt and some pants that were hanging out of his closet, Lance hopped on one foot trying to get his other sock on while simultaneously exiting his room. He nearly fell over, which wasn't new. That in itself was a daily occurrence. As was Keith's side step to avoid his wobbling on his way into the kitchen. They had learned to work around each other, with each other at times as well.The toaster looked as if it had been done for a few moments before either of them had a chance to enter the kitchen, Keith ran to get plates, “Here. It's still hot be careful.”

Lance slid into the stool at the counter before he gladly stuffed some of the waffle in his mouth, but not without his usual quip, “Truly a nutritional breakfast here Keith.”

Keith  rolled his eyes and turned to pour syrup over his and Lances waffles, “Bite me. If you want something better then wake up yourself.”

“Maybe I will,” Lance took another bite, wrinkling his nose a bit at the fingers that he got sticky, “Do we grab Pidge and Hunk today?”

Keith used a fork, like a civilized person would,  “Nope. They texted earlier that they have to be there early, something about a project.”

“Perfect,” He watched as Keith shook his head at the way he licked the syrup off his fingers and waved his now cleanish hand over at the fridge, “Please?”

Keith stood again to get glasses out of the cupboard above the sink. Why couldn’t Lance just get something for himself? Why was Keith saying this in his head? “Why can’t you get your own drink ever?”

“Because I know you’ll get it for me,” Lance’s smile faltered a bit at Keith’s glare, “Keith… Buddy? Love you.”

The boy in question just rolled his eyes at the dragged out ‘you’ and poured himself a glass of orange juice and got a cup of ice for his friend, “Here.”

“What’s this?” Lance raised an eyebrow at the ice then at the sitting boy, “Ice?”

“Yep,” Keith just turned to dig around in his backpack. He made a small victory noise when he pulled out his phone.

Lance sat there for a moment, waiting to see if Keith would say anything else. But when the other boy seemed to just be mindlessly checking things on the screen, Lance poked him, “Keith I can’t drink this.”

“Wait, it’ll melt,” Keith didn’t look up still, but Lance could see the small smirk making its way to his face.

Lance sighed and forced himself to get up, “I hate you sometimes.”

“Really? I thought you hated me all the time, ” Keith started tapping at the screen, “my how far we have come.”

“Sarcasms really not appreciated,” Lance just poured the ice into a canteen and then filled his glass with Milk, “Nice hair by the way, really goes with the whole I don’t give a shit look ya got going on today.”

He could hear Keith put his phone down and when he turned Keith just had an elbow on the counter and his head in his palm. A small frown adorned his features and he sighed, “I didn’t change yet. I probably should.”

Lance watched as his roommate walked in the direction of his bedroom, leaving a quarter of his waffle untouched. Keith had been wearing a pair of grey sweats that could have honestly been Lance’s at one point, since the pant legs were too long and now had holes at the bottom from stepping on the extra fabric. It wasn’t uncommon for them to wind up with some of the others clothes since they just combined their laundry to save water, though they’d usually notice right away and return them. Usually. Keith had a problem figuring out what was his and what wasn’t since he never really paid attention to which clothes were his. Shiro was always adding hand-me-downs to his collection anyways so it was hard to keep track. Plus the clothes that Lance outgrew he would give to Keith too, if he wanted them. If not then they went to his younger siblings and Pidge to root through. But the shirt that Keith was wearing that morning had definitely been one of Lance’s, the one he had been looking for but gave up on a month ago. It was an old NASA shirt that had paint stains on it from that one time they tried to redo the living room.

Lance chuckled fondly at that memory as he reached over to eat the rest of Keith’s waffle. He had been complaining for about three months after they reluctantly moved in together about the horrible shade of red on the wall.

They had moved in together when Lance had been kicked out of student dorming back in sophomore year of highschool because some shit that his roommate did (and the both of them were blamed for) and Keith had had enough of living with Allura and Shiro. Back then they had barely known each other, having Pidge as their only mutual friend but never had they all hung out. Lance had been whining about having no place to live when he was chilling with Hunk, “Dude! I’m broke and I have nowhere to go. All my stuff is going to be put on the curb in two weeks!”

“That sucks bro,” Hunk said in a totally not sympathetic way since he was too invested in his homework and had been listening to Lance repeat the same thing for the past hour, “Good luck with that.”

Pidge was out with someone they both hadn’t caught the name of and were left in the apartment to fend for themselves. It was a Saturday, and Hunk still chose to do the extra homework that wasn’t due for another two weeks, claiming that he’d forget it by then. Honestly it was a smart idea and he probably should have followed his friend's example, but Lance just groaned again, “Hunk! How did you and Pidgey manage to get this place? It’s so cheap for like, all this room. You gotta hook a brother up.”

“Actually,” Hunk looked up from his writing, “There is this apartment upstairs that’s open for rent. The woman up there is moving to Rhode Island and had to leave almost immediately. She was so nice too, had a tiny little baby and-”

“Okay Hunk! Set it up, I wanna see it!” Lance jumped to his feet, “Imagine if we lived in the same building! All the late night movies nights that we can actually have because we won’t have to worry about student curfew!”

Hunk had just sighed, knowing Lance wouldn’t let up until he called the apartment building super and request a tour. Lance was just lucky that Hunk had fixed the guys radiator once and now they were friends.

The apartment wasn’t terribly big, but Lance was awe struck by it when Hunk unlocked the door. The foyer opened up into a decent sized living area that had two nice floor to ceiling windows. Lance was already planning everything out in his head, his TV that he got as a going away present would go right in between those windows… and the plants he had could go next to it. There was a counter connecting the kitchen area to the living room area, the place was had an open concept. Lance knew his mom would love being able to talk to him from the kitchen while he played video games with his siblings whenever they came to visit. Or if Lance ever got that special someone he had been looking for, they could talk while one of them made dinner or something.

The closet off the side of the living room had a washer and dryer in it, as well as a few shelves for soaps and things.  On the other side was a hallway. The bedrooms were adjacent from each other and the bathroom was at the end of the hall, which Lance gaped at, “Its great!”

The mirror was small but there was a lot of counter space and the tub was big and the shower head was an appropriate height. Lance practically raced into one of the bedrooms. The walls were a baby blue and the closet was a nice size. But what got Lance falling in love with it was the skylight that lined the ceiling in one nice strip in the back, “I want this room. This… is perfect.”

Hunk just rolled his eyes, “Why don't you look at the other room first.”

“Nope. This one. This one’s mine, end of story,” Lance said looking up at the sky, “I’m going to just sit here and look at the stars for hours.”

Then there was the noise. A bam! sound of some sort, like someone had bumped into something. Hunk jumped out of his skin practically, “What was that!”

“I dunno, but I take it back. I don't wanna live somewhere that's haunted,” Lance clung onto his friend, “L-let's go check it out.”

“It came from the other bed room,” Hunk pushed Lance out the door, “You go first.”

Lance rolled his eyes but there was undeniable shaking in his step as he toed the door open. He screamed.

“What! Ghosts? Lance what is it,” Hunk had clamped his eyes shut and hid behind his best friend despite being almost twice his size.

“No,” Hunk perked up curiously at Pidge’s voice, “Just us. What are you guys doing here?”

Lance just ignored the question, “Hunk it’s worse than ghosts, it’s Keith!”

“Keith?” Hunk stood up straight and tried to look past Lance’s flailing arms, “Are you sure?”

“Who are you?” Keith had eyed him, “And what are you doing in my new apartment?”

Lance stopped freaking out for a moment to glare at Keith, pointing a finger at him, “Your new apartment? I don’t think so buddy, I’m buying this place.”

“Keith, this is Lance. He was recently thrown out of student housing,” Pidge sighed, “Lance, this is Keith, his brother’s girlfriend recently moved in with him and his brother and he doesn't want to live with them.”

“I know who this is Pidge,” Lance sneered, “We’re rivals at school.”

Keith just raised an eyebrow, “Rivals? Who even are you?”

“Lance! Ya know… Lance!” He poked his finger into the other's chest harder, “You seriously can’t remember who I am?”

“Oh, you’re that kid that accidentally tripped and dropped acid all over the floor the first week of school, right?” Keith looked genuinely curious for a moment before he narrowed his eyes and swatted Lance’s hand away, “Don’t touch me.”

“Listen, you both need a place to stay,” Hunk intervened, being the voice of reason, “Why don’t you both share the apartment? I know how much you both want it. Need it even. And it’ll lower the cost even more!”

“Fine with me, I’m going to go get the forms and stuff. See you later Pidge,” Keith just waved and headed towards the door. Lance thought he was seeing red, steam coming out of his ears. How dare his rival not remember who he was? Keith had to be the most infuriating, terrible, beautifully ignorant person that he had ever met. Stopping at the door, Keith turned back to the three that were now in the hallway watching him and smirked, “Oh, and Lance was it? Rule one if we’re going to do this, don’t talk to me.”

They broke that rule within weeks of them actually moving in. Keith quickly realized that he and Lance were going to have to communicate somehow, so he went with sticky notes for the first two weeks. They were simple notes like ‘My laundry is in the washer’ or ‘were out of OJ, I’ll pick some up later’. Lance thought he was going to have to build a working friendship with a packet of post-its for the rest of his time in the apartment.To say that their first official meeting, that both of them remember that is, did not go smoothly is an understatement. It wasn’t until Allura and Shiro made a surprise house warming appearance that Keith had to say something.

“Allura, Shiro. This is my roommate Lance,” Keith shook his head at the way Lance seemed to gawk at them. It was hard not to, they were probably the most aesthetically pleasing, photographic people Keith had ever known, “Lance this is my brother, and his girlfriend.”

“You…” For a split second Keith was worried that Lance was going to hit on one of them. Pidge mentioned that he had a hard time controlling himself in front of pretty people. But instead Lance just turned to him and grinned triumphantly, “You talked to me!”

At that Shiro and Allura both gave him disappointed and confused looks, knowing that he could isolate himself it he wanted to. Thus began what Lance and Keith both hated for quite a while, their forced friendship. Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura decided that it was best for all of them to start hanging out in a group, meaning that Keith and Lance would actually have to interact. Lance, personally, had no real issue with it. He definitely didn’t want to live with a stranger, his mother would not approve, and he was open to the idea of friendship. Not necessarily a strong one, but one that was stable enough to say, “Hey Keith, is this your sock?” without the fear of getting punched. Keith didn’t seem that invested in it though.

It took a while for him to open up, the whole group thing was slowly working. Slowly being a key word. They quickly learned that they all liked hanging out together which was great because Lance didn’t have a real group of tight friends since seventh grade. And Keith didn’t have one like, ever.

Lance and Keith had gotten along better, but it wasn’t until Keith came back to the apartment to find Lance trying to pry open a paint can three months after moving in together with a chopstick that things really started to change between them. Keith dropped the groceries on the counter and stared at him, furniture moved and trash bags lining the hardwood floor, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like Keith,” Lance grunted as he tried to wedge the stick in again, “I’m obviously trying to open this.”

It was silent for a few minutes, so Lance figured that Keith lost interest and went into his room to brood or something like that. But then a screwdriver was stuck in his face and Keith’s hand was attached to it, “Here, try this.”

“Thanks,” Lance blinked for a moment, shocked that Keith was helping him. He smiled at the other boy, “Wanna help me paint over this awful red?”

Keith looked around their living room, the paint was a deep red that he honestly kind of liked, “Why?”

“It’s terrible Keith,” Lance waved his arms around, “I went out and bought this like, weeks ago but forgot about it.”

When Lance popped open the can and mixed it, Keith was slightly mesmerized by the deep blue color. Lance just continued to pour it onto the roller pan and gestured to the roller near Keith. Keith held it up cautiously, “In there?”

“Duh Keith,” Lance responded, reaching for the remote, “Mind if we watch some TV while we work?”

Lance put on one of the Friends DVDs that he had, starting at season one. Keith smiled, “I love this show.”

“You do?” Lance snorted. Keith didn’t really seem like the type to sit around and watch sit coms. Maybe documentaries, but funny little shows like Friends? Nope, never would have guess. Though Lance learned over time that one of Keith's guilty pleasures was to curl up under a blanket and go to town on Lance’s sitcom DVD collection. He caught his roommate once at three am laughing at the TV, which made Keith stutter out an excuse with an adorable blush on that didn’t go away until Lance insisted it was fine and joined him.

Keith got changed into clothes he didn’t really care about and rejoined Lance in his painting adventure. There was only an occasional laugh from one of them for quite awhile. They both decided to start on random parts of the walls, which they later regretted since Lance hadn’t bought enough paint to cover the whole room.

“What idiot doesn’t buy enough paint to paint a room?” Keith raised an eyebrow, his expression filled with amusement instead of annoyance.

Lance just shrugged, “I dunno, what kind of Idiot has paint all over his face?”

Keiths hands flew to his face to check for wet paint, but found nothing, “What? I don't ha-”

Lance smeared what was left in the bucket on to Keith’s cheek, “You were saying?”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to do and Lance was regretting it when Keith stuck his palm in the paint then hit Keith right in the middle of his face. Keith laughed at the shell shocked expression and didn’t stop until Lance sandwiched his face in between two paint colored palms of his own.

“Lance!” Keith cried out through a fit of laughter, which was honestly one of the nicest sounds that Lance had ever heard. It sounded genuinely happy, and unbound to anything. Unrestrained, light.

Lance just smiled as he stood and held a hand out, “Yes honey dearest?”

“Are you getting hungry?” Keith got up as well and tried to wipe his hands off on his shirt. His expression was still bright and if Lance squinted enough, a bit flustered from his last comment. Lance couldn’t help but think that Keith should look like that all the time, undoubtedly and purely happy. He started to walk closer to Keith, which alarmed the other into backing up win matching steps, “Lance? Are you oka-”

Keith’s eyes widened for a moment, realizing that he hd just backed up into a wall with wet paint all over it. Lance smirked, “I’m okay. You good?”

Slamming his hand into the wet wall first, Keith pushed Lance backwards and left a handprint on his NASA shirt, “Perfect.”

“Oh, you are so getting it Kogane!” Lance swiped at the wall, “Get back here!”

Lance tried to grab at Keith, who side stepped and made Lance fall face first into an area of the wall that was still red. Keith laughed, “Too slow.”

“How’s this,” Lance turned to get as much paint all over him as he could before launching himself at his roommate, “For too slow?”

Keith’s entire body shook with laughter as he tried to roll Lance off of him, “You’re heavy. Get off!”

“I don't know,” Lance let himself melt into dead weight, “I'm pretty comfy right now.”

Keith gave one hard shove and it had lance sprawling out on the trash bag covered floor with a hard sounding thud, “mm you comfy now.”

“Jesus okay, you can push pretty hard. So chinese?” Lance sat up and Keith nodded.

When the food arrived Lance paid the guy, claiming that it was the least he could do for making Keith help him paint the walls. Sort of. As they both settled in the middle of the living room, food containers placed in places without paint, they observed their handy work. Or lack thereof.

“We really fucked up these walls didn’t we?” Lance let out a low whistle, “I think I can see an imprint of my face on that one.”

Keith shrugged, “They're one of a kind now.”

It was true. No one else in the world had walls that were painted inconsistently in both blue and red with terrible hand prints and smears everywhere. Probably.

“That’s true,” Lance nodded, “First home renovation and we can’t say that we didn’t make it special.”

Keith just hummed, “Yeah…”

Lance still didn’t know a lot about Keith at that point, and Keith probably didn’t know a lot about him either. Which was fine, they were still growing.

“So, why did you need to move out of Shiro and Allura’s?” Lance asked since he never really knew why, “I had to move because my roommate decided to pull a prank on the dean and I got blamed too. So what was it? Were they being to lovey dovey?”

Lance was worried that he over stepped somehow when Keith went quiet. Putting down the container, Keith leaned back on his palms to stare out the big windows at the stars. His reply was so quiet that Lance almost didn’t catch it, “It’s exactly because of what you just said.”

“What? They were being too coupley?” Lance copied the other's movements. The stars were so bright that night.

Keith shook his head, “No. You called it Shiro and Allura’s. It was never really my home.”

“What?” Lance raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure people called it Keith and Shiro’s before Allura moved in.”

“Not what I meant,” Keith sighed and went silent for another moment, “I never really felt at home there. Like it was mine. It was always Shiro’s place to me. And Allura fits in there now, so it was time for me to start over.”

Lance turned to face him, “So this place can be your home now.”

Lance didn’t really get it. But maybe that’s because he’s always had a place to call his home. Surrounded by people he loved and memories that were irreplaceable. A place where he knew that he could just be himself, a place where he didn’t have to worry about doing things like turning a perfectly painted room into shit and getting kicked out. And Keith… well. Lance had heard enough of his story to know that Keith probably never had any of that.

“Maybe…” Keith’s reply came after a while, his purple eyes still focused on the stars but his expression wistful.

That was about three years ago. Now they were close friends that were going to the same college that was joint with their old high school. Still living together. Still hung out with the same friends. Still had that same crappily painted living room.

Lance couldn’t help but wonder if Keith considered their apartment his home now.

“We promised Allura to stop by to help pick out flowers for the wedding,” Keith walked back in fully dress, “Are you okay? You look dazed.”

“Yeah it’s all good. Just… thinking,” Lance replied, still a bit out of it.

Keith waved a hand in front of his eyes then snapped until Lance blinked, “Don’t hurt yourself there.”

“Shut up Keith,” Lance swatted his hand away, “I’m smart.”

Keith just shrugged, “Whatever you say. Anyways, were you listening? Allura and Shiro need us after school so don’t forget.”

“As if I would forget to help them plan the most upcoming wedding of the century,” Lance tugged on his backpack, “You better not forget.”

“I won't.” Keith laughed, slipping on his shoes to run out of the door. Initiating an unspoken challenge.

Lances legs picked up speed as he chased his friend out of the two story complex and down the street, “Good!”

“Good!” Keith called out from over his shoulder.

Lance let out an aggravated howl. And by the time they entered the school grounds they were panting at Pidge and Hunks feet.

“Why the hell are you guys so sweaty? It's not even seven thirty yet!”

~~~

This paladin stuff required a lot of running since there was no other convenient mode of transportation. None of them owned a car, or rather the ones who did were not confident about not crashing in the haste. Obviously the bus was out, and Lance could pull out his bike but what would he do with it once he got to the fight? Just leave it there? Oh hell no, not after he has kept it safe all those years with his trusty bike lock.

So yes. Lance was extremely happy that his mother had forced her baby flash into running track since fourth grade. No matter how Lance looked at it, he was grateful for his mother chiding him and pushing him to run. Imagine if he didn't! Yeah he had Archery as a sport but that didn't do much for your cardiovascular health.

He remembered the first time he was called into battle. Or, rather the first time that he, Hunk, and Pidge were. They were all over for a movie night at his place, obviously since they do that every week. But this time Keith was over at Allura and Shiro’s for dinner so they were down a person for popcorn.

How awkward would that have been if Keith were there too? They'd all see their glowing jewelry shit and have to leave him there while they were pulled towards the center of town. Or maybe he'd pass out like Hunk almost did when they transformed into their armour. Whatever it was, Lance was sure that it was fate that Keith remained oblivious to the fact that he and Blue were the same person. What would he do if he found out that his friends were also members of Voltron? Probably tell Allura and Shiro… then they’d get the ‘that's dangerous be careful’ speech from their parents away from home.

And that wasn't a conversation that Lance really wanted to have. Again.

The first time he had met Black, Pink and Red, Lance was shocked for a lack of a better word. He supposed that a three man team wouldn't have been that effective against the shit they were facing, but he wasn't sure what to expect. Pink was beautiful, that much was obvious. And of course Lance could see how Black was perfect for someone like her. Only Shiro and Allura’s future children would be able to compete with Pink and Black’s in the looks department. And every other department. Lance thought it was unfair that god or some being out there made two sets of perfect beings.

After hitting on Pink and thoroughly embarrassing himself, not that he really noticed, Lance saw Red. Well, heard him. And yes, Lance had just finished being starstruck over the only female there but there was something about the tiny pout on Red’s lips that made him smile and want to tease him Using one of his classic lines, he was delighted to see a hint of pink on the little bit of skin that the helmets revealed. Lance had to grudgingly admit that Red was something of a looker, adorable even.

Not that he’d ever say anything like that aloud. Not anymore anyways. Not after he and Red developed some sort of rivalry or something.

This whole paladin stuff is fun, trust him. Lance loved being a paladin. Coran had graciously explained to them the next day how everything was supposed to go down. It sounded, for a lack of better words, dangerous. But unique and fun. Might kill them, but fun.

“You will all be responsible for saving not only this world, but many other planets as well!” Coran had smiled widely, clasping his hands together, “You will form the Voltron team! Led by Black and the Princess of course. You’ll all be heros! Defenders of the Universe!”

Lance liked the sound of that. Heros! It sounded daring and cool, like he was. He could finally show everyone that he was good for something, even if that something was putting his life on the line for everyone else.

“Do you ever think it's strange that they wait until after school?” Lance asked, running towards the center of town yet again, “I mean. Do you think maybe the evil mastermind has school too and that's why he never attacks during the day.”

“As important as an education is Blue,” Pidge was slightly behind him, “I doubt that Zarkon waits until after school hours. You probably just jinxed us.”

“Ah Black you're so lucky,” Lance waved his hand, the black paladin turning to him, “You don't have to deal with the woes of school life.”

“Wait until you join the work force,” Black smiled, if they weren't running Lance was sure that he would've crossed his arms, “You're going to beg to go back to school. Try to save up for a wedding on top of college debt too.”

“You're getting married?”

Black looked a little confused by the question. He tried to study what he could from Lance's face. Had he mentioned this before and Lance just forgot or wasn't paying attention? Black slowed down, chuckling awkwardly, “Didn't I tell you?”

“Not that I remember,” Lance blinked. Pidge looked up at him with a laugh.

“But Blue has always been a bit slow.”

“Not funny Green,” Lance squawked, “I remember plenty of things-”

“Sure you do”

“-and, as a matter of fact, I just remembered that I'm missing some wedding planning right now too.”

“You're getting married?” Pidge bit down on their bottom lip at Blacks question, hitting him in the side.

Lance swore he heard Pidge whisper, something to Black along the lines of ‘if he doesn't’

“Nah,” Lance waved his hand and shrugged, “My two friends are. This college kids still single.”

“I wonder why,” Pidges voice was dripping with sarcasm while they tried to conceal a laugh. That was always a weird saying to Lance, dripping with sarcasm. It was accurate enough cause it was as if Pidge had plunged their words into liquified sarcasm and the extra was falling off of it. But still, it was a weird image.

“Guys!” Hunk called from his spot just a few feet behind them, his voice worried, “Guys! Look at that!”

Lance's full attention was drawn to the newest robot contraption thingy. It was huge, “oh fuck.”

“Alright team!” Pink’s voice was kind of static in their helmets, “This robeast is armed!”

Hunk and Red had come up behind them, Hunk panicking, “Armed? Like, he has a gun or like, several arms? Or both, oh god don't let it be both! Princess tell me it's not both!”

“Calm down yellow,” Black commanded as firmly as he could, “We have to just take this step by step.”

The battle wasn't as long as they had anticipated from the size of the monster. It took maybe an hour at most, Red and Pidge worked to cut off its arms (“Its both Yellow. It's arms are infused with rifles of some sort”) and then Lance shot through the plate on its back and it was down.

The easiness of it all made them a little weary. But that didn't stop them from going back to the conveniently hidden spaceship to celebrate.

~~~

“She's just magnificent, isn't she?” Lance was gawking at the new student sitting across the courtyard, “Her name is Nyma, how foreign and perfect.”

Keith scoffed as he stabbed his salad with a little more force than necessary, annoyed at Lance's latest antics. Hunk whined, “Dude come on! Finish eating, we gotta get to the cafe.”

“Why?” Lance raised an eyebrow, “You wanna go see your girlfriend before her shift ends?”

“She's not my girlfriend, she just happens to be a really nice barista that I admire very much and who also happens to be in the same fine culinary arts class as me,” Hunk pointed a finger in a matter of factually way. It was true! Shay was nothing more than a friend (sadly) and he did like hanging out with her in culinary class. The girl knew how to cook, and like people always said: the way to a man’s heart is throughout his stomach. And man did Hunk love those little tartlets that Shay seemed to magically make with ease.

Pidge snickered, they knew that Hunk had somewhat connected with the part time Barista that Allura had hired at her and Shiro's cafe, “Yeah, the blush really helps your case there.”

“Shut up Pidge,” Hunk mumbled, hands hiding his face, “Just hurry up so we can go!”

“Should I go talk to her?” Lance all but ignored Hunks exasperation, “I mean, I am the smoothest, most handsome person here. I should show her around.”

“What you should do is finish eating,” this time it was Keith that glared at him. Lance looked him dead in the eyes and brought his fork full of leftover pasta to his mouth as slowly as humanly possible. Keith growled in response, “Lance!”

“Yeah cupcake?” Lance feigned innocence, batting his eyes to really sell it, “Whatever am I doing wrong?”

Pidge didn't know whether or not the pinkish color on Keith cheeks was from frustration or something else, but they knew that they had to stop Lance before everyone started screaming again, “C’mon Lance. Allura and Shiro need us to go help them deliver the invitations.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance waved them off, finally covering the Tupperware and putting it back in his bag, “I hear you. You guys go first, I'm just going to talk to her.”

Hunk didn't need to be told twice, “Alright buddy. But don't forget to show your face since we have no more classes today, Shiro and Allura will be pretty upset if they find out you ditched for a girl.”

“Mmhm. Got it Hunk, don't piss off Shallura,” Lance waved his hand, “hurry up before you miss Shay.”

Hunk mumbled something along the lines of “for the last time we're not dating!” before Pidge presumable cut his rant off with a pull on his shirt and an annoyed sounding “shut up Romeo and let's just go!”

There was shuffling that Lance barely registered in his day dreams of sweeping Nyma off her feet. The chattering growing quieter and quieter until the faint buzzing was non existent. Lance sighed, finally alone and allowed to shamelessly look from afar for as long as he pleased. Or… so he thought. He jumped slightly when Keith's voice was directly shot into his ear, “What's a Shallura?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Keith! Give a guy some warning,” Lance turned to glare at Keith, the two jumping far apart when their noses accidentally touched. Coughing after choking on what seemed like air, Lance put his hands on his knees to catch his breath, “ how old are you exactly?”

“Nineteen,” Keith deadpanned, rubbing at his nose, “Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Shallura is Shiro and Allura's couple name, duh Keith,” Lance blinked. Keith did nothing but stare at him blankly. Groaning and shaking his head, Lance walked back over to sling an arm around his friend, “Y’know like… Brangelina or B-Zee.”

Keith managed to cross his arms, “Okay?”

“You're obviously not getting this,” Lance placed his chin between his fingers, “It's like… well… ours would be Leith. Or Klance. It's our names just smushed together.”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard,” Keith glared, crinkling his nose in a way that was definitely not adorable, “What idiots come up with this stuff.”

It wasn't a question. But Lance treated it as if Keith was genuinely asking, “Me. I come up with this stuff. Personally I like Klance for us, it has more of my name which is obviously better. Keith is such a douchebag name.”

“It is not,” Keith huffed, “But that's fine with me. My name comes first like how I manage to beat you at everything.”

Lance sputtered a bit, “Well there's more of my name in it so… uh… there! I win.”

“That makes zero sense,” Keith just shook his head with a slightly exasperated sigh, “It's just a dumb name.”

“It is not! It's cute and creative,” Lance ran a hand through his hair, “Like me.”

“So it's extra stupid,” Lance hated the way Keith always rolled his eyes. Especially when he did it without any real annoyance, just slight amusement. Like now, why did he have to make that face. It was so… friendly? Endearing? Like he was enjoying fighting. Lance won't deny that sometimes it was fun, and more often than not now a days their arguments had more fond undertones compared to the absolute detestation they held when they first met. But that was also what annoyed him! What gave Keith the right to look like that?

“Rude Keith. I'll prove to you it's not stupid,” Lance mimicked Keith and crossed his arms.

The other didn't look too impressed, “How?”

“Um…” Lance looked around. How was he going to prove it? Ask someone? He could sense that someone was walking past them behind Lance, so he spun around quickly to get the stranger's attention, “Hey! Could you settle something for- Nyma?”

Keith let out a snort at the unnaturally high octave that Lance's voice reached. The girl that Lance had shot his arm out at blinked in surprise, “Hi? Do I know you?”

“Not yet,” Lance regained his posture and winked at her, surprised when she didn't turn away in with that unsure look that most people had, “but we could get to know each other.”

Lance was finally going to get somewhere with someone. This time he'd do everything right. He was going to pull out all of the stops, pull on every Disney movie he's ever watched. Nyma and her beautiful blonde head was going to be his. And they were going to slowly fall in love everyday and use those stupid cliche wedding vows and name their kids something along the lines of Marco and Lucille and die old together in a house on a nice hill looking over the sunset. Yes. He was certain of it.

~~~

Keith was a big enough person to admit that Lance was somewhat good looking. Okay, very good looking. With his stupid eyes and lean tall body and his broad shoulders from all that swimming and… okay off track here. Point is, he was attractive, which made it kind of confusing for Keith who didn't understand why Lance hadn't had a significant other  in a while. It wasn't like Lance didn't put himself out there. And it wasn't like there were no rumors of Sally or Jane or whatever people were named now a days having a crush on Lance.

And don't get Keith wrong. He was secretly grateful there were zero chances of him walking in on something he would want to forget. But he still had to wonder.

There was something more to Lance than just his looks though. Which, Keith figured, deterred some people. His personality was bright and excited and overall big and loud. It wasn't something everyone could handle. He was a self proclaimed flirt extraordinaire and often stated how he was the meme god's gift to the world. Whatever that meant. Some people didn't understand him or ridiculed him for his seemingly too optimistic outlook. They called him naive, claimed he would miss the really important things and do everything for show. People thought he wouldn't be able to handle a real relationship. That he was too out there for most people's taste.

But Keith just thought he was a goofball. A dork with a big mouth. There was nothing wrong with that.

Though many people didn't have to live with Lance either. Keith could sometimes see how Lance could be irresponsible, forgetful or spacey. He thought something along those lines when they first met. But he always did what he had to do and then some when it counted.

It was little things that he did. He still called his mom to say goodnight everyday at exactly nine thirty like clockwork. He looked out for that weird computer part that Pidge desperately needed to complete their super computer whenever they went out shopping. He could instantly tell when any of them needed cheering up, and would just crack a joke and smile. If it came down to it he would always shut up and be a good pair of ears to vent to.

Keith liked the small things he did around the apartment too. Like buying Keith his chunky peanut butter and eating that with Keith in order to save money even though he personally preferred the creamy kind. Or that He often draped a blanket over Keith if he found the boy snoozing on the couch, and if he was feeling adventurous and sure that Keith was in a deep enough sleep he would carry him into his room. Or that Lance had memorized his schedule down to a T and reminds him when he has to do things with a simple “oh Keith aren't you going late for that flipping or whatever practice with Allura?” Or “you have that weird English thing due tomorrow right?” They were subtle reminders that he could have bragged about remembering. Or at least he could have held it over Keith's head that he himself didn't remember some of the times. But he didn't gloat about how good of a person he was for doing these sort of things.

The little things reminded Keith that Lance wasn't actually a terrible person, and that if you got to know him he was actually nice to hang around. They reminded Keith why he shouldn't just kill Lance in his sleep with the knife under his pillow on particularly trying days when his patience was wearing thing.

Nyma was giggling into her palm, “What is it that you needed settled?”

“Oh nothing it was stupid,” Lance waved his hand, trying to play his outburst off.

Keith raised an eyebrow, “So you admit that it's stupid?”

“No,” Lance turned to shoot Keith a look, “it's not stupid, I just don't want to bother poor Nyma over here with our stupid fight that you clearly have lost.”

“Oh I wouldn't want to get in the middle of a fight between…” Nyma shifted her gaze from one boy to the other, obviously trying to find the right word to describe whatever she thought they were.

“Rivals,” Lance supplied at the same time Keith just stated, “Roommates.”

Nyma looked slightly confused, “Rival roommates?”

“Yep… roommates… who are also rivals.” Lance trailed off, “But that's not important. The names Lance, how would you feel about going to get some coffee sometime?”

Nyma eyed Keith one more time, making him squirm a little, before turning to Lance, “That would be lovely actually.”

“Really?” Lance sounded genuinely shocked.

Nyma just nodded and Lance let out a whoop. Keith tapped his foot in slight irritation as he waited for them to exchange contact information. They had to get to Allura and Shiro's okay? So of course he was a little antsy. And this girl… she didn't sit quite right with him. He was a person that followed his instincts and right now, they told him to stay away from this girl. Red flashing lights and everything going off in his mind.

“Oh what a nice ring,” Nyma commented as she handed Lance his phone back.

Lance put on what Keith thought was supposed to be a flirty smile, “Thanks. One of a kind, it's really something special.”

“I can tell,” Nyma waved, smile dazzling, “See you around Lance.”

Lance was just a stuttering mess, “Yea. You see soon. I mean! See you soon!”

Lance claimed he was in love. Keith said he was being ridiculous.

~~~

“I don't get what Keith's problem is,” Lance said as soon as he squeezed into the booth Pidge and Hunk were occupying. They had probably been at Alluras cafe for at least thirty minutes, meaning his was thirty minutes late. Pidge already had their computer out and was typing away at something again while Hunk was looking over at the counter where Shay was wiping down the espresso machine.

“What did he do this time?” Pidge didn't even look up, “you guys were pretty late.”

“Well, since you asked, he snapped at me again,” Lance glared at nothing, “He said I was being stupid when I said I was in love.”

“What?” Pidge turned to him, “You told him what?”

“I told him I was in love with Nyma,” Lance casually stated, “And then he totally flipped for no reason.”

Okay, maybe Lance was exaggerating a bit. Keith didn't scream or anything, just did that stupid pouty mumbling to himself not at all adorable thing that Lance hated. He liked it when Keith smiled at him, and couldn't Keith be happy for his friend? Maybe reward Lances efforts with at least a tiny smile. Pat him on the shoulder and say, good going dude you totally got her in the bag good luck. Except maybe say it in a more Keith way.

“Who is this girl again?” Pidge couldn't help but ask. The people that Lance claimed to love and die for were always somewhat interesting. Or more accurately it was interesting to hear about the different ways someone could be turned down. Pidge had faith in their friend though, Lance would open his eyes and see someone perfect for him one day. And if he was too stupid to use common sense, Pidge would just have to beat it into him.

“Nyma, just moved here the other day. She's breathtaking. Has the prettiest eyes too. Only the most beautiful people on this earth must have that weird purpley color. It's definitely special,” Lance looked starstruck and Pidge looked to the side of him, as if they were on the office, “she has a nice shy smile, oh god. She seems so calm and collected but she's got this fiery bold passion in her, I can tell. She and I are going to go on tons of daring adventures together.”

“Seems like you have a type,” Pidge mumbled to themselves while Lance continued to ramble on obliviously.

“And guess who has her phone number, that's right. Me! I actually got it,” lance looked like he was swooning.

“Wait what?” Pidge snorted, obviously not expecting that, “I mean. Good for you but wow.”

“Don't act so surprised pidgey, I got game,” Lance pointed two thumbs to himself, “She and I are going to live happily ever after.”

“I dunno Lance,” Hunk tore his eyes away from the counter, eyebrows scrunched together, “I kinda have a bad gut feeling about her.”

“Ugh, not you too! I've already had it up to here,” Lance raised his arm as far as it would reach, “with Keith and Red. I don't need this from you too buddy. Please!”

“What did Red do?” Lance looked at Pidge like their question had personally attacked his mother or something.

“What do you mean what did he do?” Lance waved his arms around erratically, “He's so annoying and a know it all! He practically hates me for no reason!”

“I don't see how this relates to Nyma,” Pidge just gave him a blank look, “but you did goaded him into running into a wall the first day of training and you started another stupid rivalry with him like the non-existent one you have with Keith.”

“He's still stupid,” Lance groaned and threw his head back, “Aren't you guys supposed to be on my side, you are my friends?”

“Yeah but we're also Keith's friends if you haven't noticed,” Pidge closed their laptop and scooched out of the booth, “I've just reached my Lance limit. I'll be in the back of you need me.”

~~~

Shiro wanted to shoot himself. Which, in itself, wasn't a rare passing thought (alarmingly enough). But this time it wasn't his well hidden and deeply buried emo side making a surprise appearance. No, it was Keith that was currently making Shiro wish that his brains were splattered about the table instead of inside his head.

In Shiro’s defense, Allura also looked like she was moments from strangling herself. Keith just continued to pace in front of the table, unusually talkative. But that was probably because he was ranting, “Blue is so, Agh! I already have to deal with Lance on top of it! They're like the same person Shiro, except not! How is it that I somehow am stuck with the two of the most infuriating idiots on this planet day in and day out!”

Allura and Shiro exchanged looks. Not quite sure if they should interject. Keith looked at them expectedly and Allura shrugged, “It's fate Keith, what do you want us to do about it?”

“I dunno! Something?” Keith groaned, face in his palms, “Separate us in battle? Let me come live with you guys again for a bit?”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, he didn't like the nearly hysterical tone his brother was using, the break room in the back of their cafe wasn't the most ideal place for a freak out, “You don't hate Lance. You guys are friends, I'm sure you'll learn to get along with Blue like you have Lance. Working towards things like that will make you a better person.”

“Shiro I'm not sure how much more dumbassery I can take in a day,” Keith waved his arms, “Lance was one thing. I could… ya know, actually see his face. At least I can tell the difference between his I'm joking face and his I'm dead serious face.”

How could they not see that Keith was having a serious crisis? Lance was his friend, he wasn't a stranger. He'd like to think that he knows a lot of Lance trivia since the stupid little facts about him have reluctantly stuck with Keith over the years. The funny way he plays with his thumb and ring finger when he's nervous or how whenever he walked around he avoided cracks at all cost just to be safe. Lance was familiar and… safe.

Blue was a complete mystery. A very Lance like mystery. But still, a complete shadow in the dark. Keith was having a hard time trusting the Paladins his didn't know under the masks. How can you trust someone when you don't even know their name?

“But what do they do that makes it so unbelievably unbearable?” Allura rolled her eyes, continuing filling up sugar containers without much thought, “Sweetie pass me that one?”

Keith watched as Shiro handed over the empty and washed container before continuing his rambling, “They're both just so aggravating! I can't describe it. I thought that I'd only be able to feel this way about Lance but now Blue too. I think my tolerance for stupidity has dropped.”

“Or you are just being sensitive to his- their, taunts,” Shiro sighed, “Why don't we change the subject, why were you guys late today?”

Allura looked up at that one, raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips slightly, “Yes. We've been waiting for almost half an hour, you're lucky Shay came in late today and insisted on staying extra to fill up the time.”

“It wasn't my fault,” Keith pouted, crossing his arms and glaring at the tiles, “Lance was flirting with some girl.”

“Oh?” Allura laughed, head tilted slightly, “And pray tell, why were you there? I'm sure Lance could strike out all on his own without a wingman.”

“I was trying to get his sorry ass over here before you drop kicked him into next week.”

Allura looked like she was contemplating something for a moment, “fair enough. Continue, how did he fail miserably this time.”

“He didn't. He got her number. Nyma, like that's a real name,” Keith was slightly amused by how shocked they both seemed, “But something's off about her.”

“Well, normally i'd agree since I can't picture anyone that actually falls for Lance’s lines being exactly right in the head,” Allura sniggered, “But are you sure? She could just be that one in a million person.”

“Allura, I'm serious,” Keith shook his head, “Something's off! My instincts are telling me to avoid her and that Lance probably should too.”

Allura topped off the sugar and screwed the lid on tight. She shot Shiro the ‘this is your problem now sucker’ look before getting up, “I'm going to go relieve Shay of her duty now.”

Keith looked helplessly at Shiro, “You believe me, right?”

“Well…” Shiro scratched at the back of his head. He was luckily saved by Pidge bursting back in through the door Allura just exited.

“If I have to hear one more word outta Lance's mouth I'm going to stab him with- woah what's with the face? You look like you're also about twenty seconds from murder.”

“Nyma,” Shiro just shrugged and picked up the list of supplies that needed to be bought, “Some girl that-”

“Lance actually got the number of! Yes I've heard!” Pidge groaned and took a seat, “I'm blocking all of this out, I've heard enough about this chick to last me two years.”

Shiro started to check things off the list and there was a brief, wonderful moment of uninterrupted silence. Keith looked between his two friends incredulously, internally freaking out. He had to warn them, or at least get his point across.

“I'm telling you Shiro,” Keith shook his head as his brother did his stock orders, “Something's not right about her.”

“You know,” Pidge called out from the corner where they were huddled up. The break room was small but was the spot that had the best wifi in the cafe, “Normally I would just say that you were jealous or something but-”

“I'm not, what would I even be jealous of?” Keith looked like a strange mix between completely baffled and annoyance, “And I thought you weren't listening anymore.”

“I said but, jeez cool it there,” Pidge waved their hand, “to answer your question first, of her. Duh Keith, and secondly, as I was saying. I would normally just say you were jealous but Hunk had a weird feeling about her too…”

“Hunk?” Shiro finally looked interested, pausing his stock orders, “Why? What did he say?”

Pidge merely shrugged, “Some stuff about his gut not agreeing with her. But then again she was the reason we were late to see Shay so he could've just been upset.”

“No something is wrong,” Keith insisted, turning to Shiro, “Why do you only seem invested when Hunk says something's up?”

“Keith you… you and Lance… you're not…” Shiro seemed to struggle for a minute before he tried to switch gears, “What did she do?”

At that Keith pulled out a chair and crossed his arms, “She was just all giggly.”

“Did she say anything weird though? Or was it just the fact that she actually found Lances flirting amusing that's got you on edge?” Pidge raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“She was all like,” Keith coughed and raised his voice to mock her. Normally he wouldn't stoop to that level of childishness, but he was only human. And he was annoyed so, “that would be lovely. What a nice ring you got there. Ohhh Lance you're amazingly cool!”

Shiro and Pidge exchanged what could've actually been a worried look before the door opened again.

“I am amazingly cool,” Lance threw his jacket onto the table, the room was growing increasingly smaller, “You finally admit it?”

“No,” Keith glared, “In what world would make you think that I-”

Pidge snickered, “He was imitating your girlfriend.”

“Nyma?” Lance looked at Keith kind of shocked, he narrowed his eyes “Good imitating or bad imitating?”

Keith must have had the oddest look on his face, but he ignored the question, “I’m heading back to the apartment. I have a lot of work to do, call me if you need anything.”

Shiro sighed, “Okay, but you have to be here for stuff tomorrow, you know how crazy all this planning is making Allura.”

“Got it.” Keith nodded on his way out, “I won’t be late tomorrow.”

Shiro nodded and Pidge waved as Keith made his way to the back exit. Lance startled them by grabbing his jacket too, “I’m just gonna head back home too. See you guys later. Hey Keith wait up!”

When the door was closed all the way Pidge mumbled, “Shiro, they are two of the dumbest people I have ever met.”

~~~

They convened in the backroom when the shop was closed. Pidge was the first to speak in an ominous voice, “Thank you all for meeting me here. We are here to-”

“Pidge cut it out, it’s creepy when you do that voice,” Hunk pulled out a chair and sat down in it, “What is this all about anyways? Where are Lance and Keith?”

“Well, if i weren’t so rudely interrupted,” Pidge shot him a glare, “You would know that we're here to talk about them.”

Shiro and Allura’s cafe was mostly dark now, the lights having been turned off to tell customers that they were no longer open. The place still smelled like freshly brewed coffee and tea though, which was calming. Allura placed a hand over Shiro’s on top of the table, “Go on Pidge.”

“Okay, firstly, we all know that we’re also those new paladins that have to save the world right?,” Pidge looked at the three others, “Right?”

Shiro blinked, “Oh… So we’re acknowledging it?”

“Yeah I thought we were just going for a ‘let’s just not get into it’ sorta thing,” Hunk added, “It took me a day to realize it. But when I did I was like ‘woahhh this is awesome. And crazy. But mostly awesome cause it’s you guys!’”

“Yeah it took us a week to figure it out,” Allura gestured to herself and Shiro.

Pidge still couldn't believe that it was true. Pidge had seen it from the moment they had all met up at the first battle. Their friend group had turned into a group of superhero fighters.

And people said that they couldn't possibly get closer.

At this point in their life, Pidge wasn't even surprised that it was them that got chosen to make up a weird ass team fighting for a weird ass cause. What Pidge was shocked about was the fact that not everyone immediately figured it out. Sure, Shiro, Hunk, and Allura didn't take that long to piece things together, but it still took a bit of time! To Pidge, the whole thing couldn't have been more obvious from the very start! Hell, Lance and Keith still had no fucking clue what was going on.

“It's literally a helmet. It's not super hard when you're not oblivious and stupid,” Shiro rolled his eyes, “these things don't even change our voices. And we're all friends, we've all basically memorized everyone's mannerisms.”

“Yep you would think that right,” Pidge deadpanned, “Now to the problem with all of this. Instead of complaining about just Keith, Lance complains about his alter ego as if they're two different people.”

“That's cause he thinks they are two different people!” Hunk cried out, “How?!”

Allura perked up, “Well if it helps, Keith still has no idea either.”

“They're just… a little… I don't know.” Shiro sighed, “Should we tell them?”

“No!” Pidge shouted, before coughing to compose themself, “This could Be fun. Don't ruin your kids fun Shiro.”

“I don't know Pidge,” the older male shook his head.

“But think about it. They should discover something like this themselves,” Pidge a smirk grew a little more, “Imagine their faces when they find out.”

“Mm,” Hunk put on a thoughtful look, “Terrified. I bet they'd be down right terrified.”

Shiro sighed, “Okay. But just because I think it'd be hilarious when they find out.”

“Oh I will be so disappointed if I miss it!” Pidge smiled, when something struck them, “That means that Lance hit on Keith technically when they first met as Red and Blue, which means that there was something that caught his eye at first glance.”

Shiro sighed and spoke quietly enough that Allura was the only one that heard, “I thought this was a meeting to talk about how oblivious they were to the whole paladins then. I didn’t know this was to address their refusal to acknowledge other things too.”

“Are you kidding me? Lance was like that when he first met Keith as Keith too,” Hunk shook his head.

Pidge and Shiro both shot him a look this time, puzzled. Pidge started to frantically wave their arms, a giant up to no good grin covering their entire face, “What! When!”

“Yeah, Keith told me that the first time Lance ever talked to him it was something about a rivalry and consisted of just screaming,” Shiro’s face was priceless, “he didn't stop complaining about it for hours!”

“Keith didn't remember it obviously since he didn't even remember Lance when they were looking at the apartment but Lance hit on him, like, the first day of school.”

“Wait seriously?”

Hunk put a finger to his chin, “Well I think it was more like Lance tried to when Keith turned around and it turned into ‘Did it hurt when- u-uh ah, y-you- pretty eyes… I mean. Hi! Hello, names Lance.’ He’ll deny it to hell and back though.”

“What did Keith say?” Pidge was up in his face now, face filled with amusement.

“He was just like,” Hunk put on the most annoyed looking face he could muster, “‘Keith.’ And then he turned back around.”

Allura smiled, “Oh i’m never letting him live this down.”

“Okay, but one more thing,” Shiro coughed, “What do we do about this… Nyma person?”

“Oh yeah, bad news,” Hunk shook his head, “Bad vibes everywhere.”

Pidge sighed, “But Lance thinks that she's his soulmate.”

“Well… I guess we're just going to have to see where it goes then,” Allura said firmly, “Give her a chance.”

~~~

Lance absentmindedly flipping through channels while Keith was on his phone. Homework was done and the clock read somewhere close to three am. He looked up when Lance snorted, “Tch. This show is so unrealistic.”

“Hm?” Keith looked at the screen, “Pokemon?”

“Yeah,” Lance pointed at the characters, “How do they not realize that’s team rocket? They see them like, every day. You’d think that they’d be able to tell.”

“Well, it is a kids show Lance,” Keith shrugged, yawning and clicking his phone off “Kids aren’t that smart, maybe they can’t tell.”

“You’d have to be a special brand of stupid to be that oblivious though,” Lance changed the channel.

“Yeah.” Came another yawn.

A few beats later Lance turned to see his friend’s sleepy looking eyes, trying to fight it. Lance smiled at the content look on Keith’s face once his eyes gave in and closed, “welcome home Keith.”

They fell asleep a little after that, curled up in blankets with the TV still on and empty takeout containers littering their botched up living room.

ech. Should I continue this or scrap it and redo it? I'm still super worried that I'm writing this completely wrong so lmk if I am lol.

Also this is only the first chapter and its like 36 pages (15,162 words) long. So I'm kinda worried about length. Future chapters will probably not be this long... eh. Probably, I have a tendency to over write things. BUT CONGRATS TO YOU, YOU MADE IT THROUGH 36 PAGES OF MY CRAP!

AGAIN  if you wanna hmu for anything here on tumbr you can! Im currently taking prompts to distract me in between writing this when I need a break.

[thegrumpypenguin]

  Jamarcus at four weeks

  Look how tiny he is!!!

On August 24, 2017 I showed up for my second “Keeper for a Day” prizes – this time with the lion keepers (I talk about it briefly in this post about Kanzi) – which began with the opportunity to attend the Morning Meeting (“Hill Street”, as it’s affectionately known to the Keepers) in the Atrium at North Service, the Admin building at the Zoo. Among other news and updates the Keepers logs from the previous day are read out to all assembled. As luck would have it, a baby bactrian camel had been born the day before so I was among the very first people to learn about it! I don’t recall if we were told his sex or his name at this time – likely not – but I know it didn’t take long to have that information because I was already labeling photos of him by his second week on this planet. His parents were Alice and Goober (yes, seriously) and I went over to Eurasia to see him as often as I could early on because when his sister, Jozy, was born I didn’t see her until she was six or seven months old.

  Already a charmer

Most of my early shots of him were through the fence around the “camel palace” because by the time he would be big enough to go out on the larger exhibit it would be winter and none of the camels would be out there (likely due to slippery conditions for both the camels and the Keepers, because it clearly wouldn’t be a weather-related issue). But he was a precocious young lad from the very beginning and always seemed to be in view. In fact, he was almost too precocious because I needed him to be farther away from the fence to be able to blur it out, whereas he often came over to see the people whenever anyone was stopping by. It was pretty difficult to be frustrated with anything that cute and that close by. I don’t know if this high energy caused, resulted from, or was completely unrelated to the fact that he had to separated from his mom early on because she became too aggressive towards him. The keepers were already supplementing Alice’s nursing schedule with bottles of her milk that they had expressed themselves; it became a matter of simply bottle-feeding Jamarcus exclusively from then on.

  Jamarcus snuggling with “Aunt Sally”

But Jamarcus was not to be totally abandoned. The Keepers decided that he should be paired with the sweetest, most laid-back adult female of the entire flock (I prefer “caravan” but it doesn’t make sense here): lovely Sally, who is typically the go-to camel for behind-the-scenes tours and close encounters in the main body of the Zoo. As hoped, the pair got along swimmingly and Sally exerted quite a calming influence on the young lad. Most of the times I visited them I saw a very similar image to the one at left: Sally relaxing comfortably and peacefully, with Jamarcus seldom very far away from her side. I would also hear Alice elsewhere in the palace area – often inside or around back – bleating to let the Keepers know it was time to come and collect some of her milk! I was lucky enough to witness a bottle feeding on a couple of occasions; however, these took place in a spot that did not lend itself to decent photos at all.

  Spindly legs and peach fuzz

Jamarcus was eating straw at quite an early age: this photo was taken when he was just seven weeks old and was certainly not the first time I had seen him at the feeder. We had an unusually hot and dry summer here in Toronto in 2016 which extended far into the fall; I took this shot on our Thanksgiving Day weekend in mid-October. This gave me plenty of wonderful opportunities to catch a glimpse of the adorable calf without having to be concerned with him being inside and out of the cold or snow until quite late in the year. By that time, he was clearly hale and hardy enough to withstand the chill and never really had to be specially sheltered on his own. I didn’t always take photos of him, though – at least not decent ones – because of the aforementioned issue with the fencing. Also, the area around the Camel Palace is not exactly huge so my views of him became quite repetitive. I began to count the days until the flock was once again given access to the main exhibit where I could have a much better opportunity to take pictures that were relatively fencing-free. (If not actually “footloose”. *BA-doom-tish*. Sorry.) I did grab one awesome shot that the amazing Sarah was able to “tweak” for me to remove the grid-marks of the fence. It probably would have been the photo in the calendar had I taken it in time (this was shot in early January):

  Don’t you just wanna skritch that fuzzy head??

  Aunt Sally in the snow

While I was waiting, I did have one really great experience with the camels. In February, the Volunteers had their annual “Winter Blahs” which is an opportunity, while the Zoo is not busy, to have a meeting and then a behind-the-scenes of our own, just as a little pick-me-up in the dark of the winter. Our Friday group was given two choices: the giraffes or the camels. I had been BTS with the giraffes on more than one occasion so I chose the camels because: 1) I had never been in the camel barn before; and b) there was a baby to spend time with! When our little group arrived we were led into the back paddock where, as expected, Sally was waiting to greet us. We each had an opportunity to come in contact with her and the Keeper, Jennifer, gave us an excellent run-down of the whole camel program since the Zoo first opened. (There’s a side-story here which I will share at the very end of this post.) When things appeared to be winding down, cognizant of the fact that we had time left for our session, I asked Jennifer if we might visit the inside of the barn since I had always wanted to see it. She said, “Of course!” and took us in there for a few minutes where we met up with Tilly (who spent the entire time trying to eat my baseball cap, to my delight) and several others. Suddenly Jamarcus made an appearance at the half-door at the front of the barn. He was his usual feisty self and mostly made life miserable for Jennifer by attempting to bite her leg when she wouldn’t pay attention to him. Despite this annoyance, she graciously allowed me the chance to pet him before we left the barn and it was absolutely heavenly. His curly fur felt soft, scratchy, and bumpy all at the same time and his chin was feather-soft. It was transfixing…until he broke the spell with one last nip at his Keeper, which was the final straw for her. Still: a wonderful morning spent with this baby!

  Jamarcus and Sally

Finally at the very end of April I headed over for the Eurasia Wilds area of the Zoo and went to the Camel Palace. The numbers there were very thin – and no sign of Jamarcus! Excitedly I quickly went along the path to the vast grassy expanse of the exhibit and found, to my great joy, Jamarcus hanging out with his Aunt Sally, his half-sister Jozy, and Suria, a two-year-old female who had arrived from Quebec before Jamarcus was born. He had been spending more and more time with the young girls in addition to Sally through the latter stages of the winter, so this wasn’t a surprise to me at all. He was considerably bigger – and very much more woolly – but he seemed to still be full of that impish delight at simply existing, which I can only imagine was increased exponentially by the new access to the hills and grassland, and full exposure to the soft sun of the early spring. He was lying tightly against Sally when I first encountered him, but after I called his name out he wasted no time in showing off his exuberance:

    Eventually he got to his feet and worked his way over to where I was standing…

  …before heading up the hill to hang with his “sisters” for a while.

  (L-R) Suria, Jamarcus, Jozy

  I didn’t see him again for quite a while, mostly due to the Zoo being closed for five weeks from early May to mid-June. When I did get back there I was stunned by this sight:

Where’s the rest of Jamarcus??!

My goodness! Jamarcus had gone through such a shed it looked like he had been struck with alopecia or something! Quite a shock to the eyes.

Now he is nearing his first birthday and has grown to a healthy size (although he has a lot farther to go), but he clearly hasn’t lost an ounce of that curiosity or boyish impishness:

  Next month is a very special “Baby Boom”: four of the most adorable little boys you have ever seen in your life. I’m very much looking forward to writing about them! See you then!

  Oh, that’s right. I owe you a story. Ok, here goes: when my group of Volunteers went behind-the-scenes in February one of the very first things Jennifer told us was about another Volunteer who had come through with a group (although it was unclear if he was leading a tour or had come with a different BTS group) who had come upon Jennifer cleaning up the paddocks around the barn and blurted out something about Keepers “spending all day cleaning up poop”. Absolutely disgraceful – and all of us there that day gasped in shock at the insensitivity and ignorance behind that event. She appealed to us to please, please not do that when we lead tours – although she definitely handled the affront brilliantly when it happened, it seems. We expressed our solidarity and apologized for our fellow Volunteer.

A little later on in the talk, Jennifer was telling us about the camel program over the years at the Zoo. She mentioned it the numbers were dwindling and she was concerned that there might be consideration given to phasing it out down the line. She mentioned that there had once been a huge number of bactrian camels at the Zoo and, in fact, there had been 30 when she had begun working with them. After a while she asked if we had any questions, so of course I immediately raised my hand. When she noticed it was me, she kind of sighed a little and said, “Yes, Steve?” in a bit of a sing-songy voice, obviously reading ahead a little bit.

I asked her, “Did you say there were 30 camels when you began, Jennifer?” She warily confirmed that this was, indeed, true. “Wow,” I continued. “That must have been an awful lot of poop to clean up, right?” Jennifer laughed and put her hand up to her face, shaking her head from side to side. Almost at once, the other Volunteers groaned and one of them smacked me on the shoulder. “We almost made it!” she said to me.

“Almost made it??!” I chortled. “Have you met me? There was no way we were going to get out of here without me asking a question about poop. In fact, I’m a little ashamed it took me so long to ask it, to be honest!”

And yet, I still got to see the barn and pat Jamarcus after that. I guess it pays to know your audience.

2017 “Baby Boom!” Calendar – August Story On August 24, 2017 I showed up for my second "Keeper for a Day" prizes – this time with the lion keepers (I talk about it briefly in…

[thegrumpypenguin]

  Jamarcus at four weeks

  Look how tiny he is!!!

On August 24, 2017 I showed up for my second “Keeper for a Day” prizes – this time with the lion keepers (I talk about it briefly in this post about Kanzi) – which began with the opportunity to attend the Morning Meeting (“Hill Street”, as it’s affectionately known to the Keepers) in the Atrium at North Service, the Admin building at the Zoo. Among other news and updates the Keepers logs from the previous day are read out to all assembled. As luck would have it, a baby bactrian camel had been born the day before so I was among the very first people to learn about it! I don’t recall if we were told his sex or his name at this time – likely not – but I know it didn’t take long to have that information because I was already labeling photos of him by his second week on this planet. His parents were Alice and Goober (yes, seriously) and I went over to Eurasia to see him as often as I could early on because when his sister, Jozy, was born I didn’t see her until she was six or seven months old.

  Already a charmer

Most of my early shots of him were through the fence around the “camel palace” because by the time he would be big enough to go out on the larger exhibit it would be winter and none of the camels would be out there (likely due to slippery conditions for both the camels and the Keepers, because it clearly wouldn’t be a weather-related issue). But he was a precocious young lad from the very beginning and always seemed to be in view. In fact, he was almost too precocious because I needed him to be farther away from the fence to be able to blur it out, whereas he often came over to see the people whenever anyone was stopping by. It was pretty difficult to be frustrated with anything that cute and that close by. I don’t know if this high energy caused, resulted from, or was completely unrelated to the fact that he had to separated from his mom early on because she became too aggressive towards him. The keepers were already supplementing Alice’s nursing schedule with bottles of her milk that they had expressed themselves; it became a matter of simply bottle-feeding Jamarcus exclusively from then on.

  Jamarcus snuggling with “Aunt Sally”

But Jamarcus was not to be totally abandoned. The Keepers decided that he should be paired with the sweetest, most laid-back adult female of the entire flock (I prefer “caravan” but it doesn’t make sense here): lovely Sally, who is typically the go-to camel for behind-the-scenes tours and close encounters in the main body of the Zoo. As hoped, the pair got along swimmingly and Sally exerted quite a calming influence on the young lad. Most of the times I visited them I saw a very similar image to the one at left: Sally relaxing comfortably and peacefully, with Jamarcus seldom very far away from her side. I would also hear Alice elsewhere in the palace area – often inside or around back – bleating to let the Keepers know it was time to come and collect some of her milk! I was lucky enough to witness a bottle feeding on a couple of occasions; however, these took place in a spot that did not lend itself to decent photos at all.

  Spindly legs and peach fuzz

Jamarcus was eating straw at quite an early age: this photo was taken when he was just seven weeks old and was certainly not the first time I had seen him at the feeder. We had an unusually hot and dry summer here in Toronto in 2016 which extended far into the fall; I took this shot on our Thanksgiving Day weekend in mid-October. This gave me plenty of wonderful opportunities to catch a glimpse of the adorable calf without having to be concerned with him being inside and out of the cold or snow until quite late in the year. By that time, he was clearly hale and hardy enough to withstand the chill and never really had to be specially sheltered on his own. I didn’t always take photos of him, though – at least not decent ones – because of the aforementioned issue with the fencing. Also, the area around the Camel Palace is not exactly huge so my views of him became quite repetitive. I began to count the days until the flock was once again given access to the main exhibit where I could have a much better opportunity to take pictures that were relatively fencing-free. (If not actually “footloose”. *BA-doom-tish*. Sorry.) I did grab one awesome shot that the amazing Sarah was able to “tweak” for me to remove the grid-marks of the fence. It probably would have been the photo in the calendar had I taken it in time (this was shot in early January):

  Don’t you just wanna skritch that fuzzy head??

  Aunt Sally in the snow

While I was waiting, I did have one really great experience with the camels. In February, the Volunteers had their annual “Winter Blahs” which is an opportunity, while the Zoo is not busy, to have a meeting and then a behind-the-scenes of our own, just as a little pick-me-up in the dark of the winter. Our Friday group was given two choices: the giraffes or the camels. I had been BTS with the giraffes on more than one occasion so I chose the camels because: 1) I had never been in the camel barn before; and b) there was a baby to spend time with! When our little group arrived we were led into the back paddock where, as expected, Sally was waiting to greet us. We each had an opportunity to come in contact with her and the Keeper, Jennifer, gave us an excellent run-down of the whole camel program since the Zoo first opened. (There’s a side-story here which I will share at the very end of this post.) When things appeared to be winding down, cognizant of the fact that we had time left for our session, I asked Jennifer if we might visit the inside of the barn since I had always wanted to see it. She said, “Of course!” and took us in there for a few minutes where we met up with Tilly (who spent the entire time trying to eat my baseball cap, to my delight) and several others. Suddenly Jamarcus made an appearance at the half-door at the front of the barn. He was his usual feisty self and mostly made life miserable for Jennifer by attempting to bite her leg when she wouldn’t pay attention to him. Despite this annoyance, she graciously allowed me the chance to pet him before we left the barn and it was absolutely heavenly. His curly fur felt soft, scratchy, and bumpy all at the same time and his chin was feather-soft. It was transfixing…until he broke the spell with one last nip at his Keeper, which was the final straw for her. Still: a wonderful morning spent with this baby!

  Jamarcus and Sally

Finally at the very end of April I headed over for the Eurasia Wilds area of the Zoo and went to the Camel Palace. The numbers there were very thin – and no sign of Jamarcus! Excitedly I quickly went along the path to the vast grassy expanse of the exhibit and found, to my great joy, Jamarcus hanging out with his Aunt Sally, his half-sister Jozy, and Suria, a two-year-old female who had arrived from Quebec before Jamarcus was born. He had been spending more and more time with the young girls in addition to Sally through the latter stages of the winter, so this wasn’t a surprise to me at all. He was considerably bigger – and very much more woolly – but he seemed to still be full of that impish delight at simply existing, which I can only imagine was increased exponentially by the new access to the hills and grassland, and full exposure to the soft sun of the early spring. He was lying tightly against Sally when I first encountered him, but after I called his name out he wasted no time in showing off his exuberance:

    Eventually he got to his feet and worked his way over to where I was standing…

  …before heading up the hill to hang with his “sisters” for a while.

  (L-R) Suria, Jamarcus, Jozy

  I didn’t see him again for quite a while, mostly due to the Zoo being closed for five weeks from early May to mid-June. When I did get back there I was stunned by this sight:

Where’s the rest of Jamarcus??!

My goodness! Jamarcus had gone through such a shed it looked like he had been struck with alopecia or something! Quite a shock to the eyes.

Now he is nearing his first birthday and has grown to a healthy size (although he has a lot farther to go), but he clearly hasn’t lost an ounce of that curiosity or boyish impishness:

  Next month is a very special “Baby Boom”: four of the most adorable little boys you have ever seen in your life. I’m very much looking forward to writing about them! See you then!

  Oh, that’s right. I owe you a story. Ok, here goes: when my group of Volunteers went behind-the-scenes in February one of the very first things Jennifer told us was about another Volunteer who had come through with a group (although it was unclear if he was leading a tour or had come with a different BTS group) who had come upon Jennifer cleaning up the paddocks around the barn and blurted out something about Keepers “spending all day cleaning up poop”. Absolutely disgraceful – and all of us there that day gasped in shock at the insensitivity and ignorance behind that event. She appealed to us to please, please not do that when we lead tours – although she definitely handled the affront brilliantly when it happened, it seems. We expressed our solidarity and apologized for our fellow Volunteer.

A little later on in the talk, Jennifer was telling us about the camel program over the years at the Zoo. She mentioned it the numbers were dwindling and she was concerned that there might be consideration given to phasing it out down the line. She mentioned that there had once been a huge number of bactrian camels at the Zoo and, in fact, there had been 30 when she had begun working with them. After a while she asked if we had any questions, so of course I immediately raised my hand. When she noticed it was me, she kind of sighed a little and said, “Yes, Steve?” in a bit of a sing-songy voice, obviously reading ahead a little bit.

I asked her, “Did you say there were 30 camels when you began, Jennifer?” She warily confirmed that this was, indeed, true. “Wow,” I continued. “That must have been an awful lot of poop to clean up, right?” Jennifer laughed and put her hand up to her face, shaking her head from side to side. Almost at once, the other Volunteers groaned and one of them smacked me on the shoulder. “We almost made it!” she said to me.

“Almost made it??!” I chortled. “Have you met me? There was no way we were going to get out of here without me asking a question about poop. In fact, I’m a little ashamed it took me so long to ask it, to be honest!”

And yet, I still got to see the barn and pat Jamarcus after that. I guess it pays to know your audience.

2017 “Baby Boom!” Calendar – August Story On August 24, 2017 I showed up for my second "Keeper for a Day" prizes – this time with the lion keepers (I talk about it briefly in…