#'physically cant express any emotion at all because of his magic. and is also a lil shy on top of that' persona

[stinkrascal]

ahhhhh i finally finished updating everyone’s bio pages im so happy!! ive been wanting to do that for years, their biographies were usually really silly nonsensical fillers in place until i had the energy to write out actual info about their personalities/story arcs/etc. now theyre all finally updated!! i just gotta add bio pages for the one bajillion ocs i added to my character page, but a bunch of those ocs havent even been featured on my blog in any capacity so im not stressing too much about getting their bios done in a timely manner :’) im jsut happy i got the straud bios updated tbh!!!!

[tacochippy]

Aight since you sent me some of the questions I'm sending you some!

1 and/or 2, 7, 10 and/or 11, 14, and 15

Feel free to pick and choose which ones you wanna answer if you don't wanna answer all of them ^^

What is/was your favorite subject in school and why?

I really lo ed math !! it was nice qhen i understoos the moethod and reasoning, because then i can just sit and do tbe same rhing over and over again. Oh, doing percentages? ik how to calculate that and why it is that way. Stats? oh yeah theres diff things for specifci reasons and you figure it out tjis way. FUXKING ALGEBRA AUAHGHGG. THERES THINGS YOU FILL IN ITA THE SAME FORMULA EACH TIME JUST SOUBLE CHECK AND YOURE GOOD <33

What's a subject you feel knowledgeable about (including fandom stuff!)? What're your favorite things/facts in that subject?

I feel pretty knowlegable about abuse and childcare/certain child psuch things! not very much, but ig uts the thing i could ramble the most abt aside from lego monkie kid and a few toehr fandoms i cant quiiiiteee rembemebr. My fzv fun fact is that threats of physical abuse can and mostly do have the same mental effects as if the person had followed through (ie/ getting told by your dad that hes gonna hit you, after enough time/consistently enough, you will react as though he had hit you all those times)

Do you have any projects going on right now? What's it about? What's your favorite thing about it?

I dont have any projects going on right now, but i just finished one so ill tell you about that !! This is my dnd character, Bramble Elodia! She was created by a man named Foth Eir Oak Elodia. He has a dream of creating a city full of just robots and mschinery and living artifical people, such as bramble who is based off of porcelain bjd's!! :3 my fav tbing abt her is her cute, friendly nature despite her tall (she is 7'2) stature and sense of looming. I also ADORE her camera apeture eye, she has a camera in her head. Funf act abt her !! she has water based mechanisms inside her, like little mills and such, so she always sounds like flowing water :}

What are some (movies/shows/books/video games/songs/other media) you'd recommend and why?

Movies - Tangled !! Its fun and lighthearted with some pretty epic emotional beats. very relateable.

Mirror Mirror (2012) !! IT IS A SUPER FUN SPIN ON SNOW WHITES STORY. REALLY GOOD EMOTIONAL BEATS. PHENOMENAL COSTUMING AND AET DESIGN. VERY FUN AND HAS ASILLY ANTICS AND THE MAIN CHARACTER (SNOW WHITE) GETS REVENGE IN A SUPER COOL WAY AND ITA NOTBPRESENTED AS WRONG THAT SHE WANTED REVENGE. GOOD COLOUR SYMBOLISM. SUPER FUN MAGIC SYSTEM. ITS GOOD ITS REALLY GOOD JUST TRUST ME PLEASE WATCH IT

Shows - LEGO MONKIE KID !! INSANE ATORYLINE, HAS FUN GOOFY GUYS, REALLY GOOD FEELINGS. VERYBFUN AND SUCH A COOL ART STYLE !!

Books - Percy Jackson. Need i say more?

Video Games - Deep Rock Galactic !! Go into the mines and kill aome bugs! Good customisation, none of the classes are useless, good for accesibility settings. Has subtitles. Rock and Stone !! Cute robots too (bosco and molly and bet-c and dottie etc) Good and fun lore. Angry Man Is Funny (mission cobtrol). If you get it i can play with you !! :D

Songs - Two of Many by The Happy Fits! very cute song <33. Cotards Solution by Will Wood and the Tapeworms! SO COOL !

Other Media - Satorun Devouring His Son by Goya! its a good painting.

What hobbies do you have? What's your favorite part? Your least favorite part?

I mostly do digital art, i write too, and kandi art as well! For digital art, my fav is definitely the colours and special effects i can do. I have the whole rainbow whene i need it, i can easily change and wdit the pallette, its so fun and good. Least favourite is comijg up with what to draw akdbfjbgf

For writing, id say my favourite part is using nice words and portraying things drawings cant express (at my skill level i mean) and how you can change the readers feelings with just a few simple word choices- its nice to cut through to your reader like that. Feels like im making a connection. Least favourite part is keeping the words in my head and the words in my word doc the same or similar. Im bad at keeping the words in my brain when i think up cool things to say, so i tend to get the vauge thoguht down but not what i wsnted

For kandi art, i LOVE how pretty it is! giving it away as gifts is fun too. The beads slot together so well, creating paths for the string js fun and so satisfying. Least favourite is when i ACCIDENTALLY DROP THE STRING AND THREE HOURS IF WORK GOES DOWN THE DRAIN T-T. its a little finnecky sometimes too, and i got big clumsy sausage fingers jsjfjgjf

Silliest thing you've ever done?

okag okay. no judging ne over this even though i was like 14 and passed the age i should have done stuff lsike. uh. thatm this. i suppose.

So. Im 14. im about to make a hot chocolate. the water has boiled.

I decide i want filtered water instead. I decide, in a moment if beautiful clarity, that the shirt ive been wearing for like three weeks straight without breaks (deppression) would make a good filter.

I put my shirt over the mug. i am standing on my tippy toes to reach the counter. there is cat hair on my shirt and it is deeply stained. I have not yet realised that my shirt will then be wet with BOILING HOT WATER ON MY STOMACH. nobody is home. i am safe in the ignorance and ignorance of all rules and laws.

The mug is halfway full.

I need to take a break from being on my tippy toes. i stand down on flat feet.

the mug tips.

i now have boiling water all over my stomach.

my wet and warm shirt is now on my now burnt stomach.

i go upstairs and douse myself with coldish water in the shower.

sopping wet and in pain. i cry

i do not come clean about this for a whole year and a half. i say i just spilled it on my stomach normally.

end scene

What was your dream job(s) as a kid? Why did you wanna do it? Is it still your dream job?

My first two dream jobs were fahsionista/fashipn designer and an author! I wanted to be a fahsion designer cause i lovelove clothes and being able to express myself really well. As for author? I just like dwriting, and telling kinda fucked up stories (at my age and reading and writing elvel i mean). Mostly wrote about lesbians. Didnt know what a lesbian was.

Id always loved story telling, i just thoguth and still think its really cool. When i was about 4, i think dad said, i would tell HIM bedtime stories ibstead of him telling me any. This more than once lead to me telling stories such as the one where a big monster went to this town and atr my entire family (i went into as much grotesque detail as my brain could muster) and sawed off peoples limbs to use as utensils like chopsticks and then ate those too and bit off peoples heads to trhow them at my other family members. the big momster had fun doing this. much fun. then at the edn i reveleaed that the monster was ME the wjole time and yeah dad said it was scary for me to do stuff like that.

Also do you KNOW how concerned my teacher was when 4th grade me wrote a story about two girls locked in this guys basment in tiny little capsules and they had to escape with the other girls that qere there? and how they had to kill the giy that trapped them ans the emotional aftermath of taking a human life, but knowing it was them or you and they saved all these women too? so concerned. dad said i wrote like if stephen king loved pink glitter and fairies that ate people. and was also 9 years old.

sorry these werent answered in roder i jsut copy apsted all of the questions so i wouldnt forgor skfbgngjgj

[fedorahead]

ok i originally posted this on facebook but imma overshare here too

hi my name is z yes the letter and i like vampires and pirates and movies about magic and cats

i hate nightmare before christmas because clay mation is weird but i really like wallace and gromit and other stuff aardman makes

i have 2 tattoos of a sun and a cloud on my knees and the cloud knee was aching real bad today because of the weather

i have naturally strawberry blonde hair but when i'm depressed and malnourished it turns brown. i usually dye it auburn but this most recent red was supposed to be black

my favourite animal is a dragon THEYRE NOT IMAGINARY THEY'RE EXTINCT and i also like goats and crows and cats

i collect fashion dolls like fashion polly and sometimes i'll buy a barbie if i like her outfit and i have one rainbow high doll too and i love her

i sew but i am usually too depressed to start and always too adhd to finish

i am diagnosed with adhd which is why i can be so rAnDuMm! but i am also a millenial and we were all like that. i also think i'm autistic and no i can't afford the assessment but everyone who's met me pretty much agrees.

i spent a long time behaving how people want me to, i'm real good at guessing that and adapting to it, and it was crushing my soul and i only did it because any form of social rejection feels like being in life threatening danger to my brain which was comppunded by spending years in extremely abusive situations and online in social circles where rejection could lead to your livelihood and maybe even your life being interrupted making me keep feeling like my fears were more and more valid and real until every part of me that made peiple visibly uncomfortable was cut away and i was charming, clever, and expressed emotions in socially appropriate ways like being mean or asking as many people as possible for their opinion on something before forming mine even though when i actually would then express that stance nobody would back me up becaus people arent honest avout their intentions or expectations which leads to those of us with a strong sense of justice standing up for causes the people who set us at them don't even really believe in

i spent most of my life stuck in this zone of knowing that whatever makes me me leads to isolation and social rejection whcih in turn is dangerous to my physical abd mental health and wellbeing and every hint of rejection sent off cascades of cortisol and adrenaline in my brain and would cause panic attacks and complete non functionality and so ive suppressed that stuff and became someone at lwast the barest amount of acceptable by reading the cues of what people appreciate and approve of and enjoy heing around to the point where i think i can see the real me through a fogged coke bottle glass of memory but i cant make out many details and i'm pretty sure that kid is dead

but the bits of me that have poked through against my efforts are still bouncing around and maybe i can build someone i like out of those instead of resenting them for being unshakable

the first step is embracing the annoying and spontaneous and oversharing side of myself that has been screaming to come out and is constantly locked back in when i wait for someone else's approval

so here you go

i'm 31, and i'm still proc3ssing a lot of my teenage emotions and probably will be for the rest of my life. i am angsty and bitchy and hungry all the time and i love fashion and art and expression and have a passion for weilding the written word with different stances and flourishes to really get a point across stylistically

and it's interesting to think how mcuh of me jas been suppressed for my own safety, even when i didn't know who i was hiding from.

like, some of the safety mechanisms just turned bacn the fuck on a few years ago and nobody really noticed or knew why. and i can track what bad relationship lead me to go from being a super sex positive out loud feminist with strong political convictions and a come at me bro attitude towards censorship, morality, and sexuality to being someone afraid to have anyone know anything i was passionate about, especially when it came to relationships or sex or social justice because those things had been used against me in pretty awful ways, but i was getting better and healing and then that all got shut back up into that tiny box because i had someone in my friends circle who was predatory and sadistic and i didn't even realize how unsafe i felt around him until he started hurting my friends. and even while i was singing his virtues and trying to sell people on his good side i still was uneasy and i just didn't attribute it to him until *his* mask dropped (a secondntime) and i put the pieces together. and honestly? if i had been open in the ways i'd been before all the trauma, i would have been a perfect victim for him. which is, i'm sure, why he started talking to me every week, making sure i'd be at amtgard, right around the time i was starting to come back into my own and start opening up to the world a little more. but that whole part of me got fucked up for a little while by life and by the general bad vibe i had, like i knew being open about sexuality and sex would put me in danger even though i could not see by whom

anyway i quit amtgard. whether he comes back or not, i dont really care, i dont want to be in a community that isn't vigilant and while i wasnt in real danger because i choose to surround myself with people who watch me like a hawk, that's not a community thing and if i hadnt been there when i was, watching someone else like a hawk, some worse shit would have happened.

i'd rather be myself, with all the risks that come with that, and stay safe with my circle rather than being comfortable in a place i have no business being comfortable with people i don't truly know, suppressing who i am because i know that that person is in danger. for wahtever reason, social or physical.

anyway today i'm trying to be honest and true to myself an dthat means a lot of dunb posts that i'll definitely be judged for, and i gotta practice being judged without wanting to kill myself ao here are my cards on the table i guess.

[catboysimulator]

Story Seven - El Primario y Segundo Desafio

Summers had come and gone since Dhezi's arrival, having spent about three years now with his tribe. Time had flown by, while also feeling like he had been with them forever. He has learned a lot with them-- changed a lot with them. Looking back to the person he once was, it's a bit surreal with how much had changed.

There was a difference in how he carried himself, how he acted. He was still silly and playful, loud and energetic-- yet, he was no longer the same child people thought him as. 

Back then, Dhezi was just a kid in a grownup's body. He had missed out on a lot of his childhood, and clung onto the desire to make up for it-- clung onto the feelings and experiences he was unable to go through as a normal kid would. Yet, ever since he has been welcomed home in the Sagolii, he has experienced that and much more. He was able to make up for lost time with them, and has grown into a better person for it. More mature, ready to take things on and handle his responsibilities. 

With mental and emotional changes, came some physical ones as well. Through the years, Dhezi has learned to take on new skills and strengths, including wielding an axe, chakrams, as well as some magic. Though, still, he remained a tried and true monk, his main power lying within his own raw physical strength.

He still taught the children almost daily on what he knew-- the same way his master had taught him before she had passed. Even if he didn't follow down the Fist's path, her path, he still took her teachings to heart and was sure to pass them down, too. 

As far as Dhezi was aware, he had experienced all celebrations and rites he had missed out on prior to his arrival three years ago, so he was going through his daily life normally and without any surprises. It was a life he had gotten used to quickly, picking things up easily as they came at him, as though he was just... meant to be here all his life. It's a conflicting feeling, really. He's happy to be here, happy to finally have the opportunity to be with the family he came from and call the Sagolii his home. Yet...

He misses Ul'dah. He misses his friends outside of the Sagolii; his family. His home.

Tani saw something in Dhezi, knowing that perhaps he was feeling a certain homesickness. Why wouldn't he, when the home he's known all his life was outside of here? So, he decided to talk to Sena and Maryn regarding this, bringing it up to them, and they too noticed it. The three spoke amongst each other, trying to figure out what to do for Dhezi... before deciding on the Desafios.

Every four years, the Sankres hold competitions called the Primaria and Segundo Desafio.

The Sankres have three sects within the tribe; Azuline, Roholo, and Amarila. The way people are separated is by the color of their eyes; blue, red, and yellow. Those with colors between can go with any group they want. These groups (or in this case, teams!) are purely established for sports and competitions, because at the end of the day, everyone is still part of the same pride.

The way the Primaria Desafio is done is by the Matron's Blessing. For those who would like to participate in the Desafio, they must first receive Rahja's blessing. Those chosen would then go up against the others within their groups who have also received her blessing, to see who would come out on top. 

So, Tani approached Dhezi one day, bringing up these... competitions.

Of course, Dhezi seemed to light up at the mention of these challenges and good sportsmanship, so why not? He grins and nods, eagerly accepting the invitation. Tani merely grinned in turn, smacking Dhezi's back eagerly and earning a loud 'oof' from her cousin.

On the first day of the Desafio, the challengers awaited to receive Rahja's blessing before moving back to their respective groups, preparing for the games they would be participating in. These games included challenges of strength, as well as wit. These sorts of games will help find the most capable out of all the willing contestants.

When it was time for the games, everyone was sporting their group's colors and wearing their respective feathers upon their heads, the cave practically a giant stadium. There were people cheering and music playing, lots of food and lots of festivities, decorations and colorful lights put up. It was an exciting time for everyone!

Though, when it came time for the contestants to introduce each other and wish each other luck, Dhezi couldn't help but to become Incredibly Nervous at the sight of his cousin Tani towering over him. He sure didn't expect to see her competing-- don't the leaders have other things to do? Though, he also noted how Sena and Maryn were also competing... Strange. 

With an intimidating, toothy, fanged grin, Tani loomed over Dhezi with a small narrow to her eyes. "Don't think that b'cause ye're m'cousin I'm gonna go easy on ya, primito."

Gulping, Dhezi shook his head and gave a sheepish smile. "N-- not at all!" And that was exactly what he was nervous about.

The challenges available were those of strength, agility, one's roar, strategy, quick-thinking, and reflexes-- but also, teamwork. Everything else is fun and exciting to see how people tackle, yet teamwork is integral, as well, for those in the same group as well as with the others. The tribe does not work on one person, it works on everyone.

The Roholo would be the last to compete against each other, so it gave Dhezi plenty of time to nearly keel over from nerves. He's never done anything like this, he doesn't know what's going to happen.

Before he knew it, he was lining up with 4 other Roholo members, including Tani. He kind of blanked for a second, yet came right back when he heard one of the elders call out, 'Let the games begin!' with raucous applause and cheering following after. 

Being grabbed by the shoulders, he was yanked backwards and led towards the first challenge by Tani-- before being led to another. Then another. And another. And another.

-------------------------

Back to back, there were challenges that showed off his abilities and capabilities. These events went from day all the way to night time, everyone exhausted from these games and yet still so excited and eager to learn who won!

Tani passed a glance over towards Dhezi, a knowing expression on their countenance along with a smile. The elders approached the three groups, looking over each miqo'te that had participated with a scrutinizing gaze, before making their choices. With a hand around his wrist, Dhezi was pulled out of the Roholo, while Sena and Maryn were chosen out of the Azuline and Amarila. 

Blinking owlishly, Dhezi looked to the elder, before towards his two uncles... A wide grin would grow on his face as his ears wiggle, his tail wagging just a tad as cheers erupted! Hooray!

Yet, Dhezi froze upon hearing the elder call, "Welcome to our new lideres!"

His gaze grew wide-eyed as his pupils blew as round as saucers, staring towards the elder with lowered ears. "... Lideres?" he inquired, softly, before his gaze flicked over towards his uncles before falling onto Tani who slowly approached him. Placing a heavy paw on Dhezi's shoulder, the older Seeker nodded while offering a gentle smile towards Dhezi. 

"The Primaria Desafio is done every four years for us to see who will become the next three leaders of th'tribe," he explains, grinning toothily down at the younger one. "'nd y'were chosen out of all a'us t'represent th'Roholo."

Remaining silent, Dhezi kept his gaze on Tani with an indiscernible expression, something within him stirring at this sudden responsibility. "I--... Why didn't ya tell me?" he inquired softly between them, and the older one merely shrugged. "B'cause I knew ya'd be a good fit fer th'spot," she answered, yet something was left out. They merely stared down at Dhezi with a scrutinizing look. "Well? What do ya say?"

Letting his wrist drop from the elder's hold, he stares down at the ground as his ears flatten back to the sides of his head as his tail droops. Opening his mouth a few times, it shuts and continues to shut every time he tries to croak out some words, before simply settling on shaking his head.

Tani merely continued to smile, canting their head to the side as they squeeze Dhezi's shoulder. "Speak, primo. Ye're among family, 'nd most importantly, people who love ya 'nd understand ya."

Looking back up at them after a moment, he gulps down a lump in his throat before shaking his head again. "... I can't. I can't take that position," he mutters, before Tani prods further by asking 'why?'

"I-. I have responsibilities elsewhere-- I-- I have other family t'go back ta 'nd see again. I cannot commit ta bein' a leader here, b'cause I'm still a leader somewhere else."

Tani's lower eyelids push up a bit, nodding. "I know, primo. I'm glad y'know it, too."

"-- Wh-? Y'ain't...mad?"

"Not at all. In fact, I'm happy that ye're able t'know where yer priorities lie. It's okay if y'can't lead us, it ain't th'end a'th'shard. Dhezi, we knew since th'moment y'got here that yer heart ain't one that stays in one place ferever. It drifts, 'nd y'go wherever it takes ya, 'nd honestly I kinda envy ya fer it. But like most everyone else here, I know this is where I will stay 'till I move on to th' great plains, but do y'think that's somethin' fer ya?"

"... I--... I wanna say yes, but... I can't-- choose."

"This is not t'make ya choose, primo," she states, taking a firm grip of his shoulders and grounding him. "This is t'help ya realize 'nd come ta terms that y'miss home, 'nd yer family. Y'know, th'ones that ain't here. Ye're not someone who's tethered t'one place-- ya've reached far 'nd wide ta other places 'nd have left yer mark everywhere y'go. Y'really got th'spirit of a true griffin; fierce, strong, protective... y'take care a'yer family, yer friends, all'a yer loved ones. But ye're also adventurous, curious, 'nd free. That's somethin' that no one can stifle or force from ya. No one can jus' force resposibilities on ya or make ya do things y'don't wanna. Ye're th'one who leads yer own life 'nd makes yer own decisions. Ye're th'only one who knows ya best."

Dhezi's ears lowered further the more Tani spoke, nodding slowly and gazing down at the ground, before Tani placed a gentle paw upon his forehead. "Don't think that this changes how we feel 'bout ya, primo. B'cause no matter what, ye're still family, 'nd that will never change. All that I ask from ya, personally, is fer ya t'visit us whenever y'can...aye?"

"A'course--! A'course, Tani..." he croaks out with a hoarse voice, nodding as he smiles and blinks a few times. With a smile of her own, she leans down to press a kiss to Dhezi's forehead after pulling her paw away. "Gracias, primo."

After a moment, the elder approaches once more with a gentle smile, taking Tani's wrist and lifting his arm up. "Our leaders!"

Once more, cheers erupt at the announcement as the three leaders come together, touching one of their hand's knuckles to one another's, before pressing them to their chests. 

With this, the Primaria Desafio is completed. Yet, tomorrow would be the Segundo, where the three leaders would go against each other to see who will be the head branch and the wings.

For now, everyone will return to their homes and celebrate with lots of food and some good rest for the next day. Heading to Sena's home, Dhezi took a long bath to unwind from the day and think. 

Once it was time for dinner, Maryn and Tani stopped by as well so they coukd all cook some delicious caldo and roast some sandworm meat, sitting around the table and chatting amongst each other. Joining them at the table after his bath, Dhezi continued to ruffle at his own hair with the towel before Tani papped his hands away so he could do it instead, ruffling up his cousin's hair for him but also making sure to help him thoroughly dry it. Not without messing with her cousin a little bit, of course.

Laughing, Dhezi lightly bats at Tani's arms while sucking his teeth, rolling his eyes. They grinned toothily down at Dhezi, continuing to dry his hair while saying, "You have somethin' on yer mind, primo. Let it out."

"-- Why do ya always call me out like this, huh?"

"It's my duty as yer cousin."

"Uh-huh. ... Well, I-... I was thinkin' 'bout...goin' back ta Ul'dah."

Becoming gentler in their ministrations, they looked up towards Sena and Maryn as they took care of Dhezi's hair, and his uncles merely smiled in response. Sena nodded, reaching a hand over to give a hearty pap to Dhezi's arm that rested upon the table, giving it a few fond rubs. "Then go, mijo. We will not keep you here if you wish to return to the rest of your family. Though, we would like it if you visited us again, too."

"Always, tio. There's no way 'm jus' gonna ferget y'all. Plus, y'all know where I live, too, so y'can always feel free t'drop by fer a visit, y'know?"

"Of course. Thank you, sobrino. When will you be leaving?"

"In a few sennights. I wanna see what's gonna happen t'morrow, 'nd then I'm gonna say goodbye t'everyone else."

"Sounds like a plan, kiddo," Maryn agrees with a nod, grinning and also reaching out to pat at Dhezi's arms a few times. This helps the young Seeker release tension that he didn't know he had pent up all this time, releasing a shaky laugh as he slumps and melts onto the table. He muffles into the wood, "Thanks... Thank ya-- fer everythin' y'all have done fer me."

"We did nothin' fer ya, primo, y'did everythin' yerself. We were jus' there t'help," Tani states, rubbing at Dhezi's head before draping the towel around his shoulders. "We're jus' happy t'have ya back, Dhezi, 'nd we know ya'll come back ta us whenever y'want."

With a warm smile, heart, and a belly full of food, Dhezi went to bed that night with a new sense of adventure in his heart, eager to return to Ul'dah and everyone else soon.

-------------------------

Of course, not without first seeing the Segundo Desafio! Again, everyone was gathered up to witness the second challenge, where the leaders would go head-to-head. Yet this time, they were outside.

This is the final challenge, and it is one where the three must again receive the Matron's blessing-- before she calls on her fledgelings, Rima, Tega, and Oto. The three may be young-- but that does not mean they cannot fly. 

As the three young griffins approached the leaders, they chose their handler for the day. Oto with Maryn, Tega with Sena, and Rima with Tani. Mounting the fledgelings after dressing them with their saddles, they take their reins and take flight. 

The magic users of the tribe created rings up in the air for the three to race through, as well as levitated targets and dummies for the three to shoot at and strike. 

Readying their bows, the three began their paths into the rings, holding onto the fledgelings with their legs and keeping their balance as they leveled their arms and shoulders, loosing their arrows towards the targets. Each one of them hit, yet some closer to their marks than others. Whenever they flew closer to their targets, they would slice and hack at them with their weapons, 

Flying closer towards the sun, the three would then turn and dive back down towards their final targets, releasing their own roars that rang throughout the desert. Each dummy's head is lopped off, Tani's with their axe, Sena's with his blade, and Maryn with his magicks. 

Landing back on the sand, the tribespeople would release loud, raucous cheering, satisfied and more with the show and sportsmanship. 

With the tallies marked up, the elders look to Tani with renowned pride, taking the Head Branch circlet and dawning it upon their head, while Maryn receives a feather upon the left side of his head, and Sena on his right. 

Grinning toothily, Tani then looks to Sena with a playful upwards tilt of his head, chuffing. "Told ya I'd fly circles 'round ya next time, viejo."

Sena couldn't help but to bark out in laughter at that, patting his sobrine's back before slinging his arm around Maryn's shoulders. "You sure did!" he responds with a nod and a grin before bumping his fist to Maryn's chest. "Switched places I see, eh, hermano?"

Maryn merely scoffed and rolled his eyes, poking Sena's side roughly with an amused, toothy grin. "Don't think that you can do my job better than me."

"Hah! We'll see!"

With the new leaders decided and the branches settled, it was now time for the exchange of feathers after thoroughly preening them. The Azuline give the Roholo their griffin feathers on both sides of their heads, the Roholo to the Amarila on their left side, and the Amarila to the Azuline on their right.

After placing the feathers upon each others' heads, the pride takes the rest of the day to celebrate and dance, their spirits loud and free. 

-------------------------

For the next few sennights, Dhezi had packed up his belongings and gave his farewells to his family, also being sure to give his partings to the children he had taught for the past three years, as well. He promised to visit them all every few moons, because now that he has found his pride, he is never going to leave them behind.

On the day of his departure, he gave his family warm hugs, clinging onto the backs of their clothes and letting their embrace linger before parting, smiling towards them. Tani grinned and pressed her fist lightly to her cousin's cheek, releasing a small chuff. "Don't worry, primito. We will see each other again, as long as we continue to live beneath the same Sun. Bajo el mismo Sol."

With a nod, Dhezi grinned toothily with a wiggle of his ears, turning to leave the cave before Rahja had shifted before him. Lowering herself and her wing, she turned her head towards her back for the young Seeker to climb on, causing him to blink a few times from surprise before his grin grew. He lets out a delighted laugh, moving over towards the griffin and giving her a big hug to her neck before climbing onto her back.

With a bellow, she ran out of the caves with Dhezi upon her back before taking flight, carrying home safe and sound.

Bajo el mismo Sol.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name:  Toruga ( Winchester ) Nicknamed:  The Good Doctor, Father, Doc, Purple Pimp

Gender: Male Species: Demon Age: Immortal, appears to be in his late 30s, early 40s Sexuality: If its a shade of royal purple, its within that field of interest. Otherwise, he couldnt care less Nationality: Travels about, German based design. Dude is a demon imitating human design City or town of birth: The Enigma , The realm of Neikan and the Emotions Currently lives: Moves where there is work, primarily between Europe and the United States, where is assets are located Languages spoken: English, Spanish, German, Russian, Korean, Japanese, variations of the chinese dialect (fluent in Mandarin) , Hindi -- basically a workable understanding of many mainstream languages of varying countries. He’s old, he’s been around, and he is able to retain and learn easily Native language: prefers English and German Accent/diction: Speaks with refined annunciation with his English, but in a more relaxed state he has a slight German accent. Relationship Status: A widower still obsessed with his monsters and his creator but she just wont see him in such a way rip the man

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’6 Weight: 160 pounds in human form, his dark form varies in weight Figure/build: Tall, stocky built. His muscle is primarily in his arms, legs, and chest, with a faintly noticeable gut (lowkey dad bod) Hair color: Black, peppered with grey strands Hairstyle: keeps it medium length but professional, Eye color:  A deep orange Skin/fur colour: His skin is a sandy beige complexion littered by dark discolored scars. Having tiger features, he has inverted colors with black fur and white stripes. Tattoos: Neikan’s branding is on his left inner forearm. Tends to stroke it absentmindedly  Scars/distinguishing marks: Toruga is littered by minor discolored scars all over his arms and chest, but his iconic scar is the 3 clawed slashing going down his face. Preferred style of clothing: In a button up collared shirt and black dress pants, coupled with his lap coat, He never really goes anywhere without his labcoat. He has no real sense of.. Dressing casual. If not his lab coat, he still wears a kind of trenchcoat in some way. And suspenders for a touch of extra class

HEALTH

Bad Habits: -Cant form real human connection - sees everything as object variables to dissect ,explore, and use for experimentation. - Regularly abuses the fuck out of the other negatives because they are inferior idiots - Sociopathic murderer (“for Science”). -Obsessed with Neikan, the demon who created him, and will turn on anyone in her defense, friend or foe. -Views any personal connection to a person like having a pet you're fond for, but nothing is above Neikan. -Stress smoker.

Addictions: -Sexually infatuated by the color purple, - Takes Sadistic pleasure in watching the bold break down, - Gets off on taking control and causing pain in the act of intimacy.

PERSONALITY

Personality: Toruga is a deceptive man by nature, a demon conjured up and hand made by Neikan herself, inspired by Josef Mengele which she had seen in the lives of one of her vessels. Being based on the mad doctor, Toruga himself is brilliant in the fields of genetics, biology, and the anatomy of anything he can get his hands on. Despite the basis, Toruga is simply a being that never was a child, thus has formed a persona that imitates human emotion and relations to get his way. He doesn't feel true connection, he doesn't feel empathy, sympathy, or guilt for what he does, as long as it feeds into the goal of appeasing his mistress and furthering her goals. Which makes lying and altering his persona to the liking of his associates quite easy. Toruga presents himself like a fatherly figure -- even tempered, soft but confidently spoken, and constantly utilizing praise and interest in another when he’s looking to make nice. He’s a master of manipulation and will not hesitate to research a person’s history, or gauge a weakness from conversation alone, and exploit it if it makes them more agreeable or himself more appealing.   He doesnt respond to insults or physical attacks,  not a single thing in the world bothers him, save for the failure of the negatives to complete a task, or if the insult is directed at his mistress. Or if it is impeding his work, because that would make him unappealing to Neikan. Only then will he react. And he will do so swiftly and violently to make his point known. He is not afraid of death threats, or to be beaten or dismembered or tortured, because of his inability to die (Thanks to his connection to Neikan. For as long as she lives, he can) He finds those sorts of threats mildly amusing, because he has been here for centuries, and he will continue to be well after humanity is nothing more than bones and Ash beneath their feet. His personality can swivel on a dime, but overall he is a fairly pleasant person to interact and talk with. He;s had plenty of time to master human expression.  Toruga also tends to be very physical when he shows interest, with subtle touches, unbroken eye contact, and closeness. Its simply the spider tossing the silk of his webs to capture the poor fly that has no idea the fate to come. He can be incredibly jealous and spiteful when it comes to what diverts the attention of his mistress

Strengths: Determined, Even tempered, charming personality. Incredibly intelligent and gifted with holding conversations. A great asset if you need a doctor to work on any sort of viral or bacterial bioweapon, or if ya need a guy that likes to alter and play with mortal genetics. His inability to stay permanently dead makes him quite the threat in theory, and with that demonic origin he does have supernatural strength compared to the average mortal. He has no real blood, just inky mass of dark matter that makes up his form and drips in imitation blood.

Weaknesses: Neikan. Divine weaponry and magic also hurt like a bitch and would require he directly return to neikan to get fixed up.

Fears/phobias: Failing Neikan to the point she abandons him or makes another negative to replace him.

Favourite color:

P U R P L E 

Did I say purple?  Very important to know. And any shade that compliments it.

Hobbies: - Kidnapping subjects indiscriminately based on their viability and their chance of being pursued, disfiguring them, wiping their memory, and then using them as test subjects for his viral bioweapon projects. - Making handmade clothing for his test subject children. He’s quite the skilled tailor. He especially loves dressing up his daughter before she ran away - Traveling about to meet with and work closely with assorted allies towards an end goal of toppling human society and shifting power - Taking out his anger and frustration on the negatives because they dont die - Talking to his dead husband he keeps perfectly preserved in a case down in his lab

Theme Song: - “Pet” by perfect circle - “Trust me” from the Devil’s Carnival

SKILLS

Talents/skills: - Tailoring clothing of all materials - Extensive knowledge of the medical field - skilled virologist and biochemist - Manipulative - Skillful liar

Education: Multiple lifetimes of trial and error through multiple dimensions and a variety of different levels of technology he’s explored with. Lacking any formal training, being an extension of his mistress means he also inherits the knowledge of her vessels. Coupled with his own experimentation and studied through multiple worlds.

Abilities: Being a demon made of dark matter means he’s endowed with an assortment of natural abilities, however unlike the more well known hell spawn demons, the negatives and their abilities from Neikan are typically only physical based.  Those abilities include: - Enhanced Strength and Endurance (built up after years of handling monsters, and the lack of human limitations/strains on the body) - Complete Regeneration (as long as the weapon is not enchanted or by divine means) - Minor shapeshifting, limited to his true forms. From human, to the black mass in the shape of a man, to a beastial tiger form - A photographic and auditory memory that retains just about any information he finds worthy of withholding. It also allows him to learn any language with ease after being exposed to it for a period of time

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Created around the time period of Pride’s((The Vessel) lifetime, 6 vessels prior to Nikki, Toruga was formed at first out of curious reasons and the need for a friend, but her intent with him became malicious shortly after her grief in the following life which split her soul into two halves. Left with nothing but malice and hatred for humanity, with the worst aspect of her being, Neikan utilized all her negativity to create a figure that would help speed up the process of ending the lives of the future vessels. Toruga was based on Josef Mengele, which Neikan had been exposed to as a child through the eyes of her second vessel, Hate. The demon was never a child, born as a perfectly capable adult to keep this young grieving woman company, it was at the start of his existence which paved the way to his obsessive love for his Creator. Toruga was her friend, her pet project that she left responsible with overseeing any of her new creations were given a job and set in order. While not active at first, Toruga observed humanity from the distance and learned the art of imitating them perfectly to blend in and manipulate what he understood. He studied their texts, he studied their culture, the array of species, their anatomies, their science and their technologies, absorbed it all until he could put it to use at the very end. Toruga is in love with his mistress, but with her fixation on her vengeance and the delicate heartbreak, she refuses to see him in such a way. Which, in turns, drives his unyielding determination to please her to make her see him. Coming to the existence of the last vessel, Nikki, things got complicated. Neikan assigned him a task to make a malleable beast that can infiltrate, a living machine to be the wolf in sheep's clothing, so when the last life became known, this being would be sent to kill it. Unfortunately for them, that bio weapon became the last life. Once inheriting Neikan and all the previous lives, any of the previous wiring he had instilled in the fetus were completely wiped away with the new presence of thought and free will -- the result, which would send Toruga on a wild chase to retrieve his experiment , all the way back to Earth. He spends years having to establish bases and connections on earth, all while scouring for his little project, taking well over 10 years before finally finding her. When he eventually does kidnap her and attempt to reset her mentally, Nikki retaliates and flees, leaving him with the iconic face scar he has now, but his project was now an unstable mess.  

Toruga is a man who juggles many projects at once. Despite a singular failure, he is always looking to make improvements, which would have eventually led to the creation of Malakaid as a failsafe to getting rid of Nikki, then immediately lost after yet another raid by Rosie and the authorities. But there is no stopping, there is always alternatives to getting what he wants. His web is vast, his determination and will unyielding. The world will fall to his mistress, one way or another. As of now, Toruga works closely with a variety of associates, primarily the Branches of Virtues because of their plentiful assets, and acts as a kind of apostle for Neikan to gain more souls willing to join their cause. His main project is a viral mutagen called the Uxoru virus, and helping work towards a modified super soldier serum made from Angel’s blood.

Parents names: Neikan Shadou (Sheila Lunarcrest)

Siblings: The other negatives, including John, Sebura, Kura, and Joku. By technicality, anyone made by Neikan is a kind of sibling.

Relationship with siblings: Toruga is the head honcho of the show, responsible for directing and punishing the others for their failures. Their stupidity and clumsiness prove to be incredibly irritating to him, and because they cant die he has no hesitation in brutally maiming and abusing them for it. They all have a bitterness, but a respectful fear towards him, and he knows it well. None of them are his equal, for he was the first, and he intends to keep it that way.

Partner/Spouse: -Vermont (Former husband, now deceased. Murdered mistakenly by Toruga himself after Vermont questioned Neikan’s intentions and plans. )

Children:

- Nikki Ai (His first experiment, artificially created and planted within a mother. She has no recollection of him as her creator, but rather this monster that hunts her down. She never came back as she was suppose to, and thus is a nuisance he needs dead)

- Malakaid (The second improvement to Nikki’s design , made from Nikki and Jacob’s dna, spliced with his own. Malakaid was stolen as a baby by Rosie and imprinted on her. Because of this, he will not go back to Toruga.)

( From his relationship with Vermont)

- Veronica Winchester (Eldest daughter, ran away at 12 years old.)

- Toby Winchester ( A young boy, still living with him. He drags him around on his work trips when he’s able to. Because he witnessed his birth parent murdered as a toddler, Toby is practically a skittish mute of a boy that fears his father but will not dare leave the way his sister did.)

Enemies:

Basically got beef with everyone bcuz he probably fucked over your loved ones at some point and just doesn't recall it. He primarily has enemies with Rosie( A very personal vendetta) and the Angel Project, the Divine Calvary, and any enemies of the Branches of Virtues. He doesn’t try to make enemies but if people are gonna try to stop him from completing his work because its “unethical” and “Inhumane” then a bitch gonna go into the cage with the rest of the subjects. But he’s a hard man to hate because as long as you are blissfully ignorant, he seems like such a pleasant man to keep company with.

Associates:

- The Branches of Virtue

- Nathair Elerdand

- Neikan and the Negatives

Affiliated verse:

Tag: :The Good Doctor (Toruga):

- Iniquitous Essence (The info above)

- Pokeverse : Toruga is a scientist of the Aether foundation , working on a secret specialized project for Lusamine, to create a world where human and pokemon are one -- as halflings. He experiments using genetic information gathered from the ultra beast data, along with splicing human dna with that of Pokemon, varying from adults to unborn fetuses. Everyone of which failed (dying in a matter of months, if born. Dying and resulting in a stillbirth. Or death induced by the Human body rejecting the intrusive genetics and triggering a shut down response) until finally there was Rosie. He studied her for the entirety of her childhood, a secret success he dare not report until certain she would not die like the rest, only to be lost in a fire (as far as he knows) aimed at silencing her rowdy father.

Much to his dismay, Toruga continues his research on human genetics, milking the foundations of its assets to feed his curiosity, with no real loylty to anyone but himself. But those skulligans are a promising bunch of nobodies to utilize for testing. He’s on the hunt to get his pet project back

[daxieoclock]

ok shay you dont understand i was literally scrambling through our messages on discord to find a dissidia link and now i cant pick between the kairi reunion with sora and the namixi bed sharing scene so you gotta pick for me

jdhfbghjgb Enu you absolute sweetheart thank you for the ask

they’re both kinda short scenes though sooooo por que no los dos djhfgbjh

Kairi reunion scene is in chapter 10 and the Namixi scene is in chapter 14

She'd only been there twice before, both times after Xehanort's defeat, but Kairi instantly recognized Terra, Aqua and Ventus's home: the quintuple towers and golden chains of the Land of Departure.

I don’t remember if I ever articulated what both of those times were in my head, but it’s a HC that just felt right hehe.

And there, sitting on the bottom steps leading up to the front door, was Sora.

He hopped up as soon as he saw her, that stupid grin all over his face, and then Kairi's eyes blurred over and her feet pounding against the stone courtyard.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

Kairi’s anger, frustration and just general emotion is something I had a lot of fun exploring in DKH, and something I definitely want to do more of if I ever return to KH writing (still undecided on that). As much as I love the comedy beat of the pissed-off reunion, it’s an honest feeling I think, to be both overjoyed and infuriated by someone at the same time. And it definitely fits my interpretation of where Kairi – who has been incessantly damseled, left behind and sacrificed-for – is at this moment in her arc. Furious and bitter and just wanting to drag her dumbass bffs/bfs to safety whether they like it or not.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

"You absolute, goddamn, stupid idiot!" Kairi shrieked. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried Riku was?"

For whatever reason this makes me think of the very beginning of the story, with Riku lying awake thinking of Sora. Like...yeah. Yeah he was. And on that note, as much as I missed Sora’s presence in the story, I absolutely loved the chance to expand on Riku and Kairi’s friendship/relationship (it’s complicated; when is it ever not?) without him there. I wanted to emphasize both how much they care about each other, and how much Sora’s absence is felt nearly constantly.

"Probably," Sora said, sheepish, massaging his shoulder.

"We had to try and explain to your parents how you....you vanished into thin air, but how it's actually completely okay because you did it to save my life!"

I don’t know that I’ll ever focus too much on any of the KH characters’ biological families, but I think the Destiny trio are the closest to actually Having Any Sort Of Bond with their parents. We’ve got a vague idea of Kairi’s home life – adopted daughter of the mayor, and I’ve extrapolated her dad is kind of absent – but none of Riku’s and only the fact that Sora has a mom. But the idea of Kairi and Riku returning to the island alone, having to break the news to Sora’s parents, just stuck in my head when I was writing this.

She didn't know who embraced who first. But she was in his arms then, and he was in hers, and she squeezed him so close, so goddamn tightly.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Just hold me," she said. "Just shut up and hold me."

I think this is just a sweet moment tbh djhfgbj.

"Your hair looks longer," Kairi said, finally. They were sitting on the steps together. Her eyes had cleared, but she wasn't ready to leave this moment. "And you're missing a button on your jacket."

"Oh." Sora ran a hand through his hair in that absentminded way that he did. He laughed. "I hadn't noticed."

Liar. She knew him well enough to know when he was putting on a front, and he definitely was now. But she wasn't much better, she had refused to point out the bags under his eyes, the greyish pallor of his tan skin, the way his blue eyes seemed darker than she remembered. She couldn't speak those details, as if silence would make them go away, as if she could will away the scuff from his shoes and the dullness from the little metal crown that hung around his neck. He reminded her of how Aqua had looked after they'd rescued her, so relieved but yet so exhausted. It was the impact of that much time spent alone, that much time spent wandering, spent lost and far away from the ones you love. Kairi's grip on Sora's hand tightened.

I will never forgive Nomura’s cowardice to not show the physical, kinda traumatizing toll that years of isolation in the RoD took on Aqua. 0.8 delved into it slightly, but only in the most surface-level way. And judging by what we’ve seen from Re:Mind and MoM, the same sort of surface-level emotion is going to be applied to Sora’s ‘death’ as well. He’s almost definitely going to come out of a YEAR of complete isolation being just as chipper and bright-eyed as he’s always been, and that is something I wanted to rectify here.

I love the KH cast and I love seeing them challenged, and love watching them grow. There’s not quite enough Sora in DKH to grasp the full extent of how he’s changed after his ‘death,’ but I’d like to think we do see that he HAS changed. It’s something I touched on more directly during Riku’s reunion with Sora, but it’s present here as well.

"So, who's your friend?" He motioned with his head towards the Spirit-Namine, who sat patiently on her haunches.

"Sora, it's me," she said with a little laugh. "It's Namine."

"Oh." Sora stared at the Spirit-Namine for a moment, the gears straining in his head, and then he looked over his shoulder up the stairs, then back at her with a confused expression on his face. "Wait, weren't you sleeping inside? Why are you here and a cat? How are you here and a cat?"

But of course, even after that sort of trauma, Sora is still Sora. He’s still a goober and a softie, and I didn’t want to abandon those traits for the sake of angst.

Sora had never been very comfortable with silence, she noticed him starting to shift and adjust next to her.

ADHD Sora rights.

Kairi kept catching herself holding her breath, waiting for him to vanish or the floor to give way or her alarm to wake her up. Waiting for something to drag him away again.

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, you know," he said.

Kairi spluttered. "What...who...shut up!" She stared at the ground, cheeks flushed, unable to acknowledge out loud that he'd read her so well.

I haven’t decided if Sora’s surprising emotional perceptiveness is a new aspect of his character or something he’s always had that hasn’t been highlighted well, but it’s definitely an interpretation of him I enjoy. Like, yeah, he’s impulsive and inattentive and kind of rude on occasion, but he’s also showed some moments of being able to read people with shocking accuracy. I think that’s a skill some Keyblade wielders have, a sort of magical hyper-empathy, and Sora definitely has it in spades without even trying.

And briefly before we go into Namixi (and speaking OF Namixi)

Xion glanced at Sora and Kairi from the middle chair and threw up a peace sign. "Hey, what's up?" Her outfit had also changed a lot since Kairi saw her last, she had on a pair of loose black cargo shorts and a pullover hoodie, her black hair swept to one side and tucked behind her right ear. Honestly, she looked a lot happier, a lot freer.

Butch Xion is absolutely the hill I will die on this gal is 100% loves girls and presenting in nonconforming ways.

Namine, laying against Xion, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful.

Xion looked down at Namine as she noticed Kairi's stare. "Oh, yeah, I'm uh...keeping her safe? Cause she can't move when doing her spell, and uh, probably more comfortable than laying on this ground or something right?" She forced a laugh. "Yeah."

Namine, who absolutely has ulterior motives: “I’m going to be unconscious while using this spell and I’d rather not wake up sore, so maybe you could hold me while I’m using it? I’d make me feel safer too.”

Xion, who is gay as shit and forgot about the fact this castle has beds in it: “Yes absolutely I will totally hold you for as long as you need Namine wow yes that sounds great I’m on board heck yeah.”

*************

And with that introduction let’s hop right into the dedicated Namixi scene shall we.

Namine heard her door open, then close. She didn't move, just kept staring straight ahead, lying on her side in the bed, her heart beating staccato on the inside of her chest. A quiet bump of collision in the dark.

"Ow!" Xion muttered. "Stupid bed."

No good confession scene is complete with at least a couple comedy beats.

Her eyes probably had to adjust to the dark still, which Namine was thankful for, considering the fact she was probably blushing up a storm at the moment. "Are you okay?" She sounded so concerned, oh light.

Gentlebutch Xion strikes again. I refuse to see her as anything but very polite towards pretty gals (and Namine is very pretty gal in her humble opinion).

"I'm fine," Namine said, quickly. "I just...." She reached out to take Xion's hand, but hesitated, and just let her own fall back onto the mattress. "Wanted to see you, I guess."

"Oh," Xion said. Relief. Namine started when she felt Xion's fingers brushing against her hand. "Shit, sorry, sorry."

"No, no." Namine laughed, and took Xion's hand. "Thank you. This is really nice."

The eternal sapphic dance of being terrified of overstepping and desperate to express your affection at the same time. Also I have said it before and I will say it again: The Gay Gals Love Hands. Idk what it is but sapphic attraction is like 75% hand-holding it’s ridiculous.

Xion opened her eyes again, those gorgeous purple eyes.

Changing characters’ eye color is sort of a running theme in my fics I suppose, though it doesn’t ALWAYS come up. Xion’s purple eyes is something I saw once and got stuck in my brain forever. I have no idea who came up with it or why it’s something that apparently a decent chunk of Xion fans hc for her, but it sure is what we’ve decided on haha.

Three words. That's it. So easy, just three words. Just say it. Say it. "When you found out Sora was here, and decided to go after him." Coward.

Namine, like most of the female cast of KH, has basically no outwards emotion and very little development. For whatever reason, I’ve fixated on an interpretation of her as someone who expresses her emotions in unconventional ways, spends a lot of time overthinking things, protects herself by exaggerating her personality around others while also being terrified of hurting people the way she was forced to hurt Sora. It’s sort of funny to see a very similar personality come up around my interpretations of Haru Okumura in Deja Vu, but Namine definitely expresses her post-trauma identity a lot softer, less formal but still so very careful.

Anyway that’s a lot of words to say that she self-loathes and picks her words incredibly carefully and that contrasts really interestingly with the more impulsive, emotion-driven Xion. They’re a good fit for each other C:

"You can get under the covers too, if you like."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Please stop being a gentlewoman and take the hint. "I want you to," Namine said. Was that too firm? Too bossy?

"Oh!" Xion smiled, and threw the comforter over herself in an instant. Guess it was fine.

More of that aforementioned dynamic.

"This is very good. I'm happy."

"I'm glad," Xion said. "I...like making you happy."

Namine had to inhale deeply at that. It wasn't easy to confess when the girl kept taking her breath away.

I really like the idea in general that it takes so long for Namine to tell Xion how she feels because Xion just keeps doing really sweet things or being kind of romantic but not really making the space for that confession, and Namine just gets flustered and puts it off.

Three words. Just three. Just say them. Namine took a deep breath. "I, uh. I..." She felt a sob welling up in her throat. Light, why was this so difficult, why couldn't she just tell Xion–

Her lips were on hers. Namine couldn't breathe, could barely think for the screaming of her heart in her ears. Xion broke the kiss, looking so very embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

Namine reached up and pressed a finger to Xion's lips, cutting her off before she could apologize any more. "Um," she said, "kiss me again?"

And Xion nodded, and Namine let her finger fall, let Xion lean in and kiss her again. And she squeezed her hand so tightly and kissed her back.

So not really a confession but Xion DID get the hint. Once more: Xion’s impulsiveness makes things both very difficult and much easier for Namine. And I think I like the fact that she ends up deciding to just go along with that impulsiveness, just let go of her plan and kiss the gal she’s been pining for, and stop beating herself up about the words she can’t say yet. It’s sweet hehe.

[floorbed]

7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl

thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr

7. which party member do they understand the least?

for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!

for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 

he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh

agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 

agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!

35. which party member do they worry for?

pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 

agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?

40. do they enjoy poetry?

pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺

agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!

52. from whom do they seek validation?

pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 

growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 

69. how would they describe their party members?

for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.

for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 

[ayankun]

Agents of SHIELD Season 1 Rewatch Update

Ok so I’m having a difficult time remembering what it was that made me hate this show so much (aside from the unforgivable Minecraft reference) and stop watching in Season 1.

Just got through ep 14 and holy cow, I’m honestly not sure whether the storylines for seasons 2, 3, and 4 were planned this far in advance, but if they were then these folks did such an overwhelmingly good job of keeping their eye on the ball.

Best I can figure, I’m having a good time on this attempt thanks to prequel-goggles.  I already know where this story is going, who these people will become and what’s going to make them into what they will be, and I can appreciate this older storyline in light of the circumstances it precedes -- rather than for what it is without that context. 

(It certainly helps that some of the dumber stuff is already starting to be replaced by the better stuff, like it’s ep 15 and the “night-night gun” was just replaced by the much more palatable “icer,” and they haven’t tried to call the individual dwarves by name for ages now)

Also there’s some pretty good cinematography, the graphics are really respectable, watching this found family slowly realize how much they love each other is sooo charming, and the affectations required of a MCU-spin-off-sci-fi-spy-show are really well balanced with the character drama which is its true heart.

I know ep 1x08 (”The Well”) is six and a half years old so maybe spoiler warnings are not necessarily required but here we go

Remember when Thor 2 came out and then this show had to earn its stripes as co-existing in the MCU so they had to address the fact that aliens ripped up London and the whole world knows about it?

Not being able to afford the likes of Chris Hemsworth was something they obviously had to work around, and plopping in that rando dweeby Asgardian as a twist was definitely one way to do it. 

But the real showstopper is that the through-line of the episode is the examination of the similarities and differences of Ward and May, especially once they both come in contact with the Asgardian rage-stick.

Seeing Ward nearly incapacitated by his traumatic childhood memories serves two important purposes.  First, it makes some good strides towards humanizing the man, who until now has been that hot-and-cocky kind of character that just expects to appeal to an audience but hasn’t yet earned any appeal whatsoever.  By now, we’ve had a reference to his toxic dynamic with his older/younger brothers, and seeing him reliving his experience with the well suddenly opens him up and gives some dimension to that tall-dark-handsome cardboard cutout.

Second, those experiences are a really good twist!!  When it’s revealed that he’s not remembering being tortured in a well by his brother, he’s remembering allowing his brother to torture his other brother down a well and not having the guts to do anything about it.  It’s a good one-two punch because you weren’t expecting to pity the guy, and now that you’ve spent twenty minutes pitying him for being victimized, you get to grapple with the much more complex emotion of the kid!Ward not knowing how to get out of this lose-lose situation and understanding that his current character must be in some way informed by this regret and guilt.

THIRD, after seeing Ward go through all this and barely hold it together, we get to see how May handles this level of relive-your-worst-trauma-and-incinerate-yourself-with-unbridled-rage when she has to pick up the rage-stick and .... instead of it leaving her on the ground like it’s just done to Ward, she somehow experiences 0.00000% change in personality or capability WhatSoEver.

She not only isn’t affected, she summons all the broken pieces of rage-stick and effortlessly wields the fully formed berzerker staff to defeat the rest of the baddies single-handed.  It says so much about her character, about the depths of the trauma that sent her to the place we met her in in the pilot.  We still don’t know what happened, but this her “my secret is I’m always angry” moment, and it’s a  level of anger has been repeatedly and thoroughly cataloged throughout the episode so far.

It also gives these fools something to bond over.  And while I’m seriously disinterested in their weird little Thing that didn’t go anywhere and didn’t really impact much, it was a nice way to avoid progress in the “Skye’s falling for her SO” storyline that I don’t care for either.

But Skye makes her move in this episode!  She and Ward dance around the possibility that maybe they’re into each other and they could possibly move from antagonistic strangers to folks who are a little into each other.  But he does the gentle thing and turns her down! (without closing the door entirely, I must add)  And then he wanders off on his own and ... May’s wandering off on her own ... and they share some micro expressions and then, seriously you guys this sequence is so tasteful and understated, just look:

Ward leaves Skye at the bar with a parting “I’m beat, another time, maybe,” and off her wistful look we cut directly to this chiaroscuro hallway.

Ward enters the frame, starts unlocking his hotel room. He's just another monochrome shape in this monochrome place.

But then there’s May entering the shot at the far end of the hallway, and her motion and his turning to look at her frames her monochrome shape in this nice little white triangle between him and her door.

And there’s a tasty little rack focus that pulls the instant she passes in front of the door, making sure our attention is on her and the little white label of her bottle that really pops in the sea of black.

By this point in time, we’ve been shown, graphically, intimately, a dark shadow in his past, and we’ve been shown the physical and emotional toll its taken on him (an insight provided by the magic alien macguffin, btw).  We haven’t been told anything, we experienced his experiences with him via the power of cinema.  Her specific trauma is still a mystery at this point, but we’ve been given enough information to understand and appreciate its effects on her character.  So not only can we sympathize with Ward now, we can sympathize with his empathy for May in this moment.  

She catches him looking.

I mentioned micro expressions and screenshots do not do these performances justice.  How does one catch in a single frame the millisecond that an eyebrow ticks in asking a silent question?

Typical for her, May’s answer is also communicated through body language.

From that canted, inviting look, we pan down as she unlocks her door and enters.  She passes through the frame and disappears inside, after giving us a reminder that her plans are to apply alcohol to her issues.  (Remember that Ward turned down Skye’s invitation at a bar of all places)

Oh, and what has our framing left us to contemplate?  Is that a bed I see in there?  (Remember that Ward turned down Skye’s invitation)  Let me point out that this shot of just the bed after May walks by is on screen by itself for maybe a fraction of a second.  Just a suggestion of a thing, really.

Ward contemplates.

I love returning to this shot because it’s literally the same set up, and my instant reaction is that it’s another insert, a POV shot, and I fully expect to return to the single shot on Ward to discover his decision the second he makes it.

INSTEAD.  Ward walks immediately into THIS FRAME, too, black-shape-on-white-shape in the same way May was introduced to this scene.  And we stay here as he closes the door behind him ...

Letting us know everything we need to know without a single word needing to be spoken.

Another fraction of a frame dwelling on that shot and then immediately fade to black.  Credits.  Show’s over, folks.

And not that there’s any particular meaning in it, but they were super careful to minimize what colors were allowed to appear in this sequence?  Like there’s a particular sort of green in that weird armchair, which sort of matches the green-glass of her bottle.  And there’s the red of the fire alarm fixtures which more or less matches the red of his, y’know, fresh facial wounds.  EVERYTHING else (other than, I guess, their skin tones) falls somewhere along the white-black spectrum.  NICE.  BEAUTIFUL.  I LIKE IT A LOT.

And the Netflix synopsis for this episode is “In the aftermath of the events chronicled in the feature film Thor: the Dark World, Coulson and the S.H.I.E.L.D. team try to pick up the pieces.”  1) I’m realizing that they literally go around picking up pieces of the rage-stick and that’s hilarious but mostly I mean to say 2) this MCU-tie-in episode could have met the brief being as vapid and non-impactful as that blurb makes it sound.  But it took the opportunity to open up its characters for us to see their gooey insides, and hell they picked two of the best characters to dig into for this one, considering Ward’s tragic backstory plays as both a misdirect and actual inciting incident for his betrayal of SHIELD, and May’s tragic backstory feeds a couple of B-plots this season as well as being the major catalyst for a lot what happens in season FOUR.  SEASON FOUR, PEOPLE.  THE SEEDS ARE WAY BACK HERE IN SEASON ONE.

REMEMBER HOW THESE CHARACTERS WERE INTRODUCED THOUGH??  I DO, I JUST WATCHED THE PILOT LIKE YESTERDAY.  WE MEET WARD FULLY ENSCONCED IN HIS GUISE OF SHIELD BADASS SUPERSTAR; HE IS LITERALLY ASKED TO EXPLAIN WHAT SHIELD MEANS TO HIM, AND WE GET TO HEAR THE FIRST OF HIS MANY LIES.  WE MEET MAY IN HER OWN PERSONALLY-DESIGNED WHITE-COLLAR HELL, TURNING COULSON’S OFFER DOWN THE SECOND SHE HEARS HIS VOICE BECAUSE SHE’D RATHER STAPLE DOCUMENTS FOR ETERNITY THAN BE OUT IN THE FIELD WHERE SHE CAN MAKE ANOTHER MISTAKE LIKE THE ONE SHE CAN’T FORGIVE HERSELF FOR.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  This show knows how to weave a character-driven story, and it’s done it for six seasons straight, juggling constantly evolving -- grounded, nuanced, impactful -- character arcs with the external factors (Thor: The Dark World, for one) that force certain narrative decisions.

(until they decide to ignore those factors altogether, lol, I’m looking at you, season 5, you wacky maverick you)

[normal-thoughts-official]

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

[welllpthisishappening]

All Was Golden in the Sky (15/27)

Magic is dying.

Emma knows it. She can feel it, the emptiness rattling around in her, like it’s trying to make sure she disappears as well. What she doesn’t know is what to do about it, because, suddenly, there is a man in Storybrooke claiming she’s the Savior and a seeress certain a prophecy promises the same and the last thing she expects is for her minimal amount of lingering power to pull her away.

To New York City.

And another oddly familiar man with blue eyes and a smile that sinks under her skin and makes magic bloom in the air around her. Things are about to get interesting.

—

Rating: Mature AN: This is the pinnacle of all my kiss-related writing. SHOVES ROMANCE AT YOU. As always, thanks for reading any of the words I am definitely shoving at the internet. @resident-of-storybrooke​ @distant-rose​ @bmbbcs4evr​ are lovely.

|| Also on Ao3 if that’s your jam ||

The world stops. 

It does. Emma is certain. It stops and gives her a moment and, for that, she’ll be endlessly thankful becuase she is not altogether sure how she manages to stay upright when she turns around. There’s still a bit of sun on her neck, but she swears it’s softer now, as if that’s something UV rays are capable of doing, like it’s just nudging at her or making her aware of the quiet warmth lingering in the very center of everything and the few leaves under her right foot crunch slightly under her toes. 

Oh shit, she’s still barefoot. 

That’s absurd. 

Her hair brushes the curve of her shoulder, a soft burst of wind that’s probably magical somehow and Emma knows her eyes don’t widen. That’s also absurd. Her eyes should widen and her breath should rush out of her in a giant, emotional huff, but both of those seem impossible when it feels as if her heart is bursting. 

That, she imagines, takes biological precedent.

He looks the same. And not. There’s a lightness to him that Emma can’t remember seeing in years, an ease to the set of his shoulders and even the ridiculous length of his hair, curling slightly behind an ear that has an actual earring dangling from it, is more...Gods, she can’t come up with the words for it. 

He looks at her. 

And looks. 

And it’s easy and something almost tender and several thousand other adjectives that are positive and wonderful and absolutely impossible. Because there are still those pesky double negatives and her mind is racing, running marathons and sprints until Emma is certain her lungs are actually burning. She doesn’t blink.

Can’t. Won’t. Refuses to chance the possibility that this isn’t as real as it feels.

Because he keeps looking. Staring, even, wearing the clothes she’d seen him in last – a leather jacket that’s shorter than it ever was in Misthaven, but is impossibly familiar here, slightly dingy because he had to come from somewhere and Emma refuses to even think that there’s anything except perfectly intact fabric in the back. The buttons of his shirt aren’t done all the way, the chain around his neck obvious even when Emma’s gaze refuses to land on anything specific and she imagines the belt around his waist is really more for decorative purposes than anything. 

It’s the same. And not. Again. 

Because there’s the earring and more than a few rings on his right hand, things she’s never seen before and--she might gasp. There’s a hook at the end of his left arm, the limb twisted slightly at his side, like he’s a little nervous of her reaction to that, not his sudden appearance in an inexplicable graveyard and--

Blue. Bright blue. 

One side of his mouth tugs up, when Emma exhales, far too shaky to be even remotely romantic, but her eyes are still the right size and it’s getting more and more difficult to see him. She assumes that has something to do with the tears clouding her vision. 

“Killian?” Emma breathes, hating that it’s a question, but she’s got to be sure and this has to be real and she can’t understand how there is enough oxygen in her lungs to exhale as dramatically as she does. 

Her whole body moves with the force of it, a heave of her chest and shift of her shoulders. The tears resolutely refuse to fall though, and she’s not sure if that’s a victory or just putting off the inevitable, but it takes approximately half a second for her to realize it absolutely, positively does not matter. 

At all. 

She shakes her head, a dismissal of any thought that isn’t explicitly positive and hopeful and then her feet are moving. 

Quickly. Suddenly. 

And so is he. Killian takes a step towards her – part of Emma’s brain quick to notice that his left arm is still at his side, but his right hand reaches out, fluttering fingers like he can’t quite wait to touch her and she’s never seen that expression before. 

On anyone, let alone directed at her 

He stares at her like she can’t possibly be real. She understands the sentiment. 

So, she runs, outstretched arms that tremble a bit because every inch of her feels impossibly heavy and inexplicably light and Emma isn’t altogether surprised when she stumbles towards him. It’s just kind of...well, magical, she supposes. 

The feel of it moves through her as easily as anything, rushing from the humidity-prone strands of hair to toes that are far too dirty. Emma’s stunned she hasn’t burst into the physical embodiment of True Love and she wonders who she’ll have to thank for that later on, but, as it is, she’s more than content for the moment she gets because she can tell the exact moment it’s real. 

She crashes into Killian’s chest, hands falling on his shoulders and gripping a perfectly intact jacket. His fingers wrap around her back, pulling her even closer and he flinches. He does. She knows, eventually, he will deny it, but he flinches and stutters and she hears his breath catch. 

Emma knows why. 

He can feel her magic. 

Still. 

Or always. 

Or whatever. 

And that’s all it takes. 

There’s another half a second, a flitting gaze and sense of longing that’s far deeper than the last four days have allowed, but then it’s gone and he’s there and Emma’s fingers fly into Killian’s hair. It’s easier to kiss him that way. 

She has to press up on her toes, ignoring the stab of a rock under her right foot and, eventually, Emma is going to have to figure out how oxygen works. It can’t possibly be obeying the rules of modern science currently. She tries to breathe Killian in, pressing her nose into his cheek and every inch of him is so, impossibly warm. 

Impossible, impossible, impossible...perfect. 

She can’t stop moving her hands. 

They trace over the tops of his shoulders and the back of his neck, carding through strands of hair that the boy she knew once would have balked at. It’s so long. It’s--impossible, impossible, impossible, real. Emma tilts her head, trying to deepen the kiss or occupy the same space as him and that works a rather wonderful sound of Killian, a low groan and slight growl and his left arm wraps around her waist. 

She leans into it, arching her back until her hips cant against his. It gets her a slightly different version of the sound and the feel of his hook pressing through the shirt she’s got on, his right hand practically digging its way into her shoulder blades. 

His palm flattens against her back, the ends of her hair brushing over his fingers and Emma is loathe to realize she can’t actually tighten her arms anymore. 

She tries anyway. 

And for as grateful as she was at the world for giving her a chance to understand what was happening before, she’s even more thankful now – because it feels a bit like the world is spinning too quickly, settling back onto an axis that Emma was certain had all but disappeared. She can’t catch her breath, lungs pinched and calves aching and it’s the most comfortable she’s ever been in her entire life. 

She has no idea how long they stay there. She genuinely does not care. Because it could be the rest of their lives and it still wouldn’t be enough, searching lips and searing mouths and that goddamn tongue thing. 

They break apart. They fall back together. Again and again and again. Emma lets her forehead rest on Killian’s, trying, and failing to catch her breath, but oxygen is still doing that thing and as soon as she thinks it’s over it’s not. 

He tilts his head, catching her mouth once more and it’s not what it was. It’s softer and slower, measured movements and most of her weight resting on his chest. It seems her knees are not all that interested in participating in the moment anymore. 

Emma’s fingers move out of Killian’s hair – another noise and that’s good, it’s good, but the world is shifting again and her mind is starting to catch up with what’s just happened and she needs, needs, needs --

“Oh,” she mutters, another breathless word and her knuckles crack when her fingers curl into the fabric of his jacket. He’s still got his arms wrapped around her. “Wh--oh shit, this is not--” Killian laughs, a soft sound and warm breath that lands mostly on Emma’s nose because his forehead is still resting against hers and they’re rocking again. 

Maybe his knees have given up too. 

Understandable. 

“How are you here?” Emma asks, not sure she wants the answer. She needs it to be real. “This is--Gods.” He laughs again. She doesn’t appreciate it, but the tears are finally starting to fall and Emma is genuinely impressed she’s managed to keep them contained for so long. 

“I--” Killian lets out another sound, not quite a laugh. It’s far too unsteady to be a laugh, might be a little disbelieving even and Emma’s amazed to realize how quickly she’s understanding all of this. He didn’t expect to be here either. 

That would explain the look. 

“How?” she presses. Her fingers are going to get stuck like this. 

“That woman.” “What?” “Swan, love you’ve got--” They dissolve into kisses again, soft presses and a quick nip of his teeth on her lower lip, tugging lightly until Emma makes...some kind of noise. It’s not particularly dignified, but her fingers are still stiff and whatever the sound is, it makes Killian’s eyes flash. So, whatever. “That woman,” he repeats. “The one in the field. The not-witch, witch. She was--we were right, love.” Emma shakes her head slowly, brows pulled low and there’s a scar on his cheek that she’s very curious about. That wasn’t there at home. Gods, she wants to know every single thing that’s happened to him. 

She’s never going to let go of his jacket. 

That’s only kind of possessive. 

“How?” “She wasn’t human,” Killian answers. “She’s--it was Persephone.” “What?” Killian nods, fingers finding their way back into her hair and Emma knows, reasonably, they are not exuding heat. He doesn’t have magic anymore, can’t possibly be pulsing with some kind of power, but it doesn’t seem to matter. She’s positive she can feel how alive he is, the warmth of that hanging in the air around them and--”Aye,” he grins. “She--she must have sent me back, said I deserved it and--” 

Emma doesn’t really let him finish. It’s also a little possessive, but, by her admittedly shaky count, they haven’t kissed in something like ten seconds now and that’s unacceptable. They nearly fall over, kisses peppered to his cheek and the side of his mouth, Emma’s hands pulling his face closer so she can move across as much skin as possible. 

His smile brands itself on her memory. 

And possibly her soul, but that seems a little melodramatic even when the apparent Underworld is involved. 

“I don’t--” Emma mumbles, leaning back and that rock is becoming a bit of an issue. Her feet fall back on the ground, a soft thump that’s difficult to hear over that sound. 

Oh, it’s her. 

She’s laughing too. 

Huh. 

That’s unexpected. And wonderful. She does it again, the noise bubbling out of her with ease and something decidedly magical, a quick shake of her head that turns into an even bigger smile and slightly aching face muscles. They’re out of practice. 

Also melodramatic. 

“I mean,” Emma continues, Killian’s hand moving again. The metal of his hook finds its way under the hem of her shirt, cool metal on seemingly scalding and far-too-emotional skin and--"What? I just...what?”

She seriously cannot stop kissing him. She starts again, more butterfly kisses to the curve of his jaw and cheekbones that she genuinely found offensive when she was a teenager, leaning into the metal pressed against her back only to blink and hope. 

He’s still there. 

Staring at her. Like she’s the goddamn sun. 

“Persephone,” Killian says again, a note of pleased indulgence in his voice. “You know--mistress of the Underworld, definitely that woman we met in the field.” Emma blinks. 

He laughs. It’s...every adjective she can think of. It’s loud and joyful and directed straight at her, because of her, which is just--well, it’s only a little overwhelming, but that’s been the theme of the last few days and her hands have minds of their own. 

The scruff on his jaw scratches at her palms when she rests them on either side of his face again, a sudden brush of his lips over the back of her wrist. 

“Gods, I can feel that,” Killian whispers, sounding like he’s almost talking to himself and the wonder in those words will be Emma’s excuse for anything she does after that. “She really wasn’t lying, Swan. She does enjoy a good love story and, oh--” He twists his eyebrows, all confident familiarity and certainty and alive. “We are the very best.”

“But I--” “--No, no, don’t do that,” Killian cuts in quickly. “You did what you had to and I--she sent me back, love. Where I belonged.” Emma blinks again. It’s a silly reaction, but she has to keep double checking and it takes a few moments for that very specific sentence to process. “Belonged?” she echoes, Killian’s smile as wide as she’s ever seen it. 

“True love, Swan. The whole thing. It’s--she told us how destroy the darkness and you did. It just...took us some time to get it right.” Emma scoffs, but the smile only gets more pronounced and she genuinely cannot cope with the color of his eyes. She’s going to choke him if she holds onto his jacket any tighter. “And I was--well, it took a few days for her to find me.” “What?” “You’re repeating yourself, darling.” “Oh my God.”

Killian laughs again – free and easy and he doesn’t look any older than the last time she really saw him. There are still crinkles by his eyes when he smiles, dimples that Emma used to think about for weeks when he’d be gone and she wonders if he can bring this jacket back with him to Misthaven.

Gods, they get to go back to Misthaven. 

Together. 

“I was--” Killian starts, the smile wavering for a moment. “It’s an interesting place, the Underworld. Different sections and far too many people, quite chaotic honestly. It’s a wonder they get anything done. And I was there for,” he shrugs, “I don’t know--” “--Four days,” Emma supplies. 

“What?” “Look who’s repeating who now.”

“Four days?” Emma nods, a bit of tension in the movement. “Yeah, it was--” They will, eventually, finish their sentences, she’s sure. As it is, there are tears on her cheeks and a thumb brushing away the tears, smile turning soft and understanding and-- “Gods, I missed you,” Killian says, and Emma doesn’t think he’s talking about the Underworld. “More than--” He takes a quivering breath, his own gaze turning a little glossy when his teeth find his lower lip and the hand that’s pressed against Emma’s cheek stays exactly where it is. She’s glad. For several thousand things, but especially that. 

“I knew,” Emma whispers. “I knew, even when I didn’t know.” “That's a contradiction, love.”

“The most difficult man in all the realms. Far too confident in his own sense of humor.” Killian hums, dropping his head against hers again. “Aye, but it does usually end with you laughing and I do rather adore that sound. Are you not wearing shoes?” “I kind of...ran here?” “Did you just?” “Ok, you don’t get to brag about that,” Emma grumbles, more tears and maybe after she figures out how oxygen works she’ll look up how many muscles are in the, average human face. She assumes Belle will know. 

He twists his eyebrows again, arches that defy gravity and the tip of his tongue presses into the corner of his mouth. Just like Emma imagined. 

It’s nice to not have to do that anymore. 

“Where was I in the story?” “Doing a God awful job of telling it in chronological order.” Killian nods, another round of kissing and rocking and Emma can’t possibly keep arching her back this way. She’s going to keep trying. “Of course, of course, love,” he chuckles. “Right, well, it’s fairly simple. I am---is enthralled a good word?” “Depends on the context, I suppose.” “By you, consistently.” “Oh.” It’s a rather lackluster response, but Emma can only be expected to deal with so much in such a short period of time and the tongue thing is really the last straw. Metaphorically. In a way where the last straw is actually the best thing in the world and Killian’s eyes widen slightly when he notices the ring that’s fallen over the front of her shirt. 

He opens his mouth, the questions sitting on the tip of his tongue almost audible even before he actually voices him, but Emma answers before he gets the chance. 

“I don’t know,” she says. “I’ve been trying to find it for days, ever since we got back and--oh fuck, do you think that was God-ordained too? I...it wasn’t here before, but it must have--” “--I’ve got a theory about that.” “That so?” Killian makes a ridiculous noise, and Emma isn’t sure how either one of them is still standing anymore. Sheer force of will, probably. “Aye, I think...well, I remembered when I touched the sword, right? Magic is like that sometimes. Conduits that could help spark memories or remember moments and, well, at the risk of sounding incredibly self important…” “You think I had to give up my ring so I wouldn’t remember you? As part of a curse I didn’t want to cast?” “All magic comes with a price, love.” “That is absolute bullshit.”

“Yes, it is,” Killian agrees. “And incidentally I do very much appreciate the phrase my ring.” “Isn’t it?” “With my whole heart, love.”

Emma exhales. “That didn’t really make much sense either, you know.” “Par for the course, don’t you think?” She doesn’t exhale that time. She giggles instead, more sounds she doesn’t have much control over, but her whole being sparks at Killian’s phrasing, the mix of old and new and hers and not and every single time coming together in a mess of limbs and lips and clichés from the Land Without Magic. 

“You can’t laugh at that, love,” he murmurs, but his own voice shakes slightly as well and they really need to get out of this graveyard. He needs to get better at telling a coherent story. “I was in this realm just as long as you were, it only serves that I’d pick up some of the colloquialisms.” “Good word.” “Ah, it’s the librarian in me, I’d assume.” “I liked that.” “I am incredibly aware of that and plan to bring it up as often as possible.”

“Yeah?” “Indefinitely, Swan.”

That’s another exhale – giving in to the hope that’s been festering in the pit of her stomach since she heard the sound of her own name and that’s a terrible word for it, but Emma’s been so bad at that for so long and he came back. To her. 

Every single time. 

“You were in the Underworld,” she whispers, Killian trailing his mouth against the jut of her jaw and just under her ear and he hadn’t done that before. At least not in this realm. But another realm. And another life. And--” “Oh that’s it,” he sighs, warm breath against her skin and Emma can’t feel the goosebumps, but she knows they’re there. “When I was trying to get here, to find you, that’s...it wasn’t good, but sometimes I’d be able to remember that. That sound. Like you were the one stunned that I--as if being in love with you was some kind of--” “--The best?” Emma finishes.

“I’m not sure if that makes sense at the end of that particular sentence, love.” “Are you going to criticize my sentence structure, Lieutenant?” His whole expression changes. His eyes widen and his breath rushes out of him, a spark in his gaze that makes Emma’s magic positively roar. “Sometimes I’d catch you, love,” Killian continues, “staring. As if you couldn’t believe what you were looking at and it--it changed everything. From the very start. It made it all make sense and worth something and I couldn’t...when I’d do something, when I’d give in or want to give up I’d...I’d remember that sound, the way your teeth catch your lip and that little pinch between your brows.”

“Hmmm?” “Oh aye, it happens every time. You pull your brows down and there’s this little pinch in between them. When we were younger, before the pirates and the prophecy and all of it, I--I used to imagine that I’d be able to smooth it out, settle in between everything and--” He flashes her a grin, the tips of his ears going slightly pink and Emma does, in fact, bite her lower lip. “It would bring me back,” Killian adds, “Every single time.”

She’s crying again. She might not have ever stopped. 

It’s going to take so long to get the dirt from between her toes. 

“And I thought of that when I was the Underworld. The feel of you and the sound and your feet are always freezing.” Emma lets out a watery laugh, pulling her lips back so she resists the urge to add her own sentimental thoughts. “There were people everywhere. Good people and bad people and--what happened to Rumplestilskin?” “Killian!”

“That’s a reasonable question.” “I don’t care,” Emma shouts, and whatever expression he makes is wholly unfair. “Four days! I--it was Persephone? The whole time?” He nods, cheek brushing against a palm Emma didn’t realize she’d moved back to his face. “Said it was understandable people thought she was a witch, but that she wanted to help. It was an overstep, but she’d--well, she’d just gotten back to this plane and--” “--Holy shit.” “You are a picture of eloquence, princess.”

“I’m not wearing any shoes, so I can’t kick you.” “Kick, kiss, all the same thing, aye?” Emma rolls her eyes, but she’s also being impossibly charmed by the whole thing and he totally knows it. He’s counting on it. “How?” she asks softly, leaning back against his hook and his hand and his fingers are warm when they brush against her waist. 

“The Underworld seems to be a lot of waiting,” Killian explains. “A massive...it’s not really a beach, but it’s--well, maybe that was just me. I woke up and there was sand under my shoes and salt in my nose and boats everywhere.” “And what did they do?” “Took you.” “To?” “That’s the question isn’t it,” he mutters, twisting his hand into hers like he’s trying to ground himself. Or remind himself. Emma does her best to smile encouragingly. “You sit and you wait and then someone says to get on a specific boat and it ferries you on. I never got on the boat. I waited. Impatiently, but, uh...I kept thinking of you, love. And that sometimes, even when we were cursed--” “--I knew,” Emma finishes, and maybe they’re both horrible at storytelling. “I...the whole time I was in Storybrooke. Some of the memories leaked through. Things that happened in George’s castle, just..kind of altered and I--I could remember you.” The last few words aren’t more than a whisper and a breath, some more hope of the festering variety. “I remembered being on the docks and no one else came and I--you promised it would be alright.”

There are tears on his cheeks. 

“Just took us awhile to get to that point,” Killian says. “She said that’s why she showed up in the first place. She’s not, well, Persephone isn’t a seeress, but she may know a few and I think...she asked me didn’t she?” “About?” “If I was willing to do what I had to in order to protect you.” Emma’s jaw drops. “Are you fucking kidding me? That meant dying? Is that a joke?” “I don’t believe so, no.” She can’t come up with enough curses to curse as loudly as she wants. And that’s not the romance Emma is hoping to linger in for, at least, the next four days, but she’s tired of fate and preordained and she wants to sleep. 

For, at least, the next four days. 

“I kept waiting,” Killian continues, clearly sensing Emma’s frustration and the small burst of magic moving through every one of her veins. “Sat on that beach and hoped I’d done enough to redeem myself and if I had, that I wouldn’t forget you and then...suddenly there were footsteps and she offered me her hand. I don’t know where we walked, but it wasn’t...it wasn’t where I’d been. It was easier to breathe, calmer, almost, like we’d stepped away from the chaos and the noise and she thanked me for what we’d done.” Emma narrows her eyes. Killian kisses the pinch between her brows. “We’d done, Swan,” he repeats. “It was always us, huh?” “That’s sentimental,” Emma accuses, but there’s not enough in her voice to make it sound like anything except happiness and longing and how much she’d missed him right back. 

“Aye, I imagine you’ll have to deal with that from now on, actually.” “A hardship.” He hums and she can feel his smile when he drags his mouth against the side of her neck, pieces of hair brushing against her jaw and cheek. His hand reaches up to wrap around her ring. “Anyway,” Killian says, “Persephone seemed to believe that we’d done the world a rather important service and she was very quick to tell me that her husband--” “--Are we actually talking about Hades here?” “Absolutely.” “Right, right,” Emma nods. “Ok, well--yeah, ok, then.”

Killian laughs, the feel of it moving under her skin. In a way that isn’t gross. But great. And better than that. Ordained by several Gods. “He was apparently rather interested in our rather pointed opinions regarding Zeus.” “What?” Emma balks, and she’s got to come up with another word. She’s got to sit down. 

“Oh yes, a bit starved for compliments is Hades. And decidedly overworked. He appreciated that we weren’t worshiping at the altar of Zeus--” “--When would we have had the time to worship anything?” “Swan.” She laughs. Giggles. Makes a number of increasingly ridiculous sounds. If only so Killian’s eyes will widen slightly and his mouth will quirk up “You were the one who wanted to hear the story, love,” Killian points out. “I think we left a rather lasting impression on a number of mythical beings and, uh--well, Persephone and I kept walking and it got so bright. Like we were walking onto the sun.” “That probably would have been painful.”

He scoffs, but it’s still as indulgent as ever and his hand has moved back to skin, tracing patterns and taking care to touch as much of her as possible. “Am I allowed to make fun of your own attempts at humor?” “That’s scientific fact.” “You’re making it difficult to tell the story.”

“By your leave, Lieutenant.” He kisses her. And, really, at this point, that isn’t surprising, but Emma was far too confident in her entirely out of place jokes and the force with which Killian’s mouth lands on her is enough to alter the entire atmosphere of the Earth.

She assumes. 

Emma sighs into his mouth, half a groan and an entire acquiesce and her eyes flutter shut as soon as his tongue brushes across her lips. She opens against him, not nearly enough friction, but she’s already barefoot and there’s got to be some kind of limit on the number of absurdities two people with True Love and a variety of supportive Gods can deal with. 

“I could almost hear you,” Killian says, not bothering to pull away and that’s probably for the best because Emma isn’t sure what she’d do if he did. “When we kept walking. I--did you go to the dock? Here, I mean?”

Emma doesn’t open her eyes. “That’s all I’ve done.” “Oh, Swan.” “No, no, that’s not--ok, well, it’s exactly that, but I...I thought--” “It’s ok, love.” “It’s not,” Emma argues, hating that she’s doing anything remotely resembling that. “It wasn’t ok. I shouldn’t have--” Her breath hitches and her sniffle sounds impossibly loud, mouth going dry when she tries to swallow back the force of her own feelings. “I shouldn’t have done it,” she whispers. “Before. I--I’m so happy you’re here.” And it’s not enough. Not by a long short. Or a landslide. Or any idiom she could possibly come up with. It probably won’t ever be. 

But the mistress of the Underworld, presumably, brought Killian back to her and Emma can’t argue. No matter how selfish it may be. 

She wants it. Desperately. For the rest of...forever. 

And then some. 

“I don’t care,” she whispers. “I don’t care how you’re here or who sent you. I’m just glad you’re here.”

She pulls herself against him, tear-stained cheek pressed into the curve of his neck. Her hands move around him, a sure grip that can’t possibly be comfortable, but Killian doesn’t protest. He holds her. 

Tightly. 

Emma’s dimly aware that she lifts her head, not entirely in control of her own movements, but she’s fairly confident she’s still trying to kiss his jaw and just under his eye, feeling the moisture on his skin and she can barely hear him mumbling against her. She doesn’t pick up most of the words, but they seem to settle into her consciousness anyway, quiet promises and guarantees, wholly romantic and incredibly sentimental and--

“You’re really here,” Killian breathes, a hint of disbelief that makes Emma’s whole body ache. “Gods, I’m so happy you’re alright.”

She tightens her hold, chin undoubtedly digging into his shoulder. He doesn’t complain. He moves closer, somehow finding a few inches that they hadn’t been occupying and Emma doesn’t try to kiss him again. 

And, in the grand scheme, it’s almost ironic. 

But, in the moment, it makes more sense than anything. She can’t bring herself to move again, can’t imagine a scenario where peeling herself away from the arms wrapped around her middle would be anything except the single most ridiculous thing she could possibly do, so Emma, simply, stands there, letting the moment cover both of them with a hint of sunlight and a bit of magic and he came back. 

Killian doesn’t let go. 

And she assumes time passes, as time is usually apt to do, but neither one of them make a move to let go of the other. They stand and Emma’s feet continue to dig into the dirt, the feel of her ring pressing into her chest an almost pleasant pain. 

“If I don’t sit down I may fall over.”

Emma’s laugh flies out of her, body shaking in Killian’s arms and she knows she can’t actually feels his smile, but it’s there. She’s positive. He kisses her temple. “I can---” “No, no,” he mutters quickly, tugging her back towards a tree and he hardly blinks at her undoubtedly incredulous expression. “Just a few minutes, love,” Killian says. He’s already bending his knees, left arm held out invitingly and Emma doesn’t really think. 

There’s not much of a choice, anyway. 

“I’m sure there’s a catastrophe to deal with,” Killian continues, Emma curling into his side and he makes a contented noise in the back of his throat as soon as her arm moves across his stomach. He doesn’t object to the dirt on his jeans when she slings her legs over his as well. “But,” he adds, “I’m going to be selfish for just a bit longer.” “The rest of the monarchy is taking care of it anyway.” “Ah, but you’re the only monarch I’m interested, Swan.”

“Flatterer.” Killian nods. “Well you’re rather easy inspiration, huh?” “Your jeans are ridiculous.” “Excuse me?” She hadn’t meant to say those words, but Emma’s drifting dangerously close to exhaustion and something that she’s only a little concerned is absolute joy, so the words seem to just tumble out of her and she’s not the greatest at compliments. “Your jeans,” Emma repeats, clicking her tongue when Killian’s chest shakes under her head. “Seriously. Where did you find jeans that were so tight?” “Are you not appreciative of my wardrobe in this realm?” “Ok, well, that’s the most ridiculous sentence--” “--That’s the most ridiculous sentence?” Killian challenges.

“Seriously have you seen your jeans? They’re so distracting.” “I think you just admitted to being distracted by my pants. That’s a compliment, you know.”

“Weird.” “Aye, super weird.” Emma buries her face in his collarbone, kissing exactly where her lips land because some things are different and some are the same, but there’s just enough skin above a row of unbuttoned buttons that she can feel the way he shivers slightly at her touch. Her magic jumps. And twists. 

And does several cartwheels. 

“I love you,” she whispers, more sentiment and unplanned words that she probably should have led with.  

Killian stills. She can feel the hook on her back again. “I love you, Swan.”

They must fall asleep. Emma doesn’t remember closing her eyes, but she assumes it was inevitable, a comfort that seems to drape itself over her, like a blanket and a memory and a few more minutes of decidedly selfish behavior, but then there are words pressed against her hair and the flutter of wings a few inches away from her nose. 

“What the--” Emma grumbles, blinking awake as Killian tries to move them back up. Her muscles are twisted, pins and needles in her legs and only one arm that seems to have twisted its way under Killian’s back and she’s not sure whose joints crack more. “Ah, shit, that’s not encouraging is it?” “Not exactly sprightly, are we?” “Ok, that was definitely your back.” “Ah, but you fell asleep first, Swan, so, all things considered--” He doesn’t finish. The bird hanging in the air in front of them snaps its beak instead, an obvious sense of impatience and frustration. “Oh, damn,” Emma sighs, understanding what’s going on. “God, do you think David can control the birds now too?” “What?” “Ah, we didn’t get to that part, did we?” Killian widens his eyes, waving his hand at the bird when it starts making more noise. Emma grimaces. “It’s a very long story,” she says, “but it wasn't Regina. The curse, I mean. Basically David and Mary Margaret share a heart and--” “--What?!” The bird sounds like it’s yelping or trying to talk and Emma rolls her whole head. “Ok, ok, ok,” she says quickly. “We heard you You can tell whichever one of them sent you that I’ll--I lost track of time and I’ll be at Granny’s in a couple of minutes, ok?” There’s no response. Emma can’t speak to birds. And Killian is still staring at her, something between incredulous and adoring and it makes her whole self threaten to combust, lips pressed together and a fluttering of her magic. 

“That’s still very distracting, you know,” he mutters. Emma scrunches her nose. “Good?” “I think I heard something about the best before. What did the bloody bird want? He have a name that he wanted to share?” “I think he was annoyed it took us so long to realize he was here. And, uh--well, David and Mary Margaret staged some kind of intervention today because I’ve been--” Emma huffs, hating the tears that sting her vision again. Killian smiles. 

“I’m not going anywhere, love.” Her magic makes the leaves above them shake. “Promise?”

“There’s no getting rid of me now.”

They don’t have time for more kisses, but...Emma does not care. He doesn’t seem to either. “I was supposed to meet them at Granny’s because Regina was going to intimidate Isaac into agreeing to write us home. David said if I wasn’t there by seven he would do something drastic.”

“And that was the attack by birds?” “Just one bird.”

Killian scoffs, but he’s still smiling when he stands up and Emma’s fingers lace through his as soon as he offers her his hand. “Let’s go, love.”

They don’t rush. They probably should – quicker steps and a less leisurely path, but Emma’s legs resolutely refuse to give into the demands of her neurons or however her brain works and she’s far too interested in watching every single thing that happens to Killian’s face while they walk up Main Street. 

He’s been in this realm as long as she has, so Emma knows he’s not entirely unacquainted with the way of things, but his eyes keep widening and his brows keep jumping and she’d be willing to bet a variety of things that he doesn’t realize his thumb continues to trace the same pattern on the back of her wrist with every one of those slow, measured steps they take. 

“You’re staring, love,” he mumbles, less than a block away from Granny’s and Emma doesn’t have to look up to hear the smile in his voice. Also because she is, in fact, staring. 

“Oh shut up.” “Eloquent.” “I’m serious.” “I know you are,” Killian says, and Emma is very close to objecting to him letting go of her hand, but then his arm finds its way around her shoulders and her cheek is pressed against leather and she’s already trying to come up with several plausible excuses for them blowing off this entire meeting. 

That proves almost impossible, however, when there are people waiting for them outside of Granny’s. 

“Emma, seriously where the hell have you been? David is--” Will starts, jumping up out of the chair and whatever look lands on his face would probably be funny in any other situation. It’s still almost kind of funny in this situation. Emma assumes that’s because she’s exhausted. 

Will’s shoulders drop, air rushing out of him in a huff of disbelief and he kind of looks like a fish. A fact Killian is very quick to point out. 

“You look ridiculous.” Will makes an even more strangled noise. “Are you fucking kidding me?” “What are you doing here?” “You died, asshole!” Killian hums, brushing his lips over Emma’s hair and she doesn’t want to bet about that, but she’s fairly certain he’s doing it to remember he isn’t, in fact, dead. Will sighs, running a hand over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Am I hallucinating this?” he demands. “Because that’s honestly garbage if I am.” “You have a lot of daydreams about me, Scarlet?” Killian quips, the soft shake of his chest making Emma’s lips quirk up despite the obvious emotion on Will’s face. 

And the chair flying towards them. 

Will has thrown a patio chair at them. 

Granny will be pissed. 

“Oh my God,” Emma mumbles, waving her free hand so they’re not inadvertently injured. The chair freezes in mid-air, dropping back onto the ground with a soft thump and matching sounds of impressed from both of the men in front of her. 

“That was good, Swan,” Killian says, ignoring Will’s growl of frustration and she knew it was only a matter of time. The door to the diner swings open, footsteps that are far faster than anything they’d managed on their walk from the graveyard and Ruby’s holy fuck sounds incredibly loud.

“No way,” she adds, rushing down the steps with Belle half an inch behind her and Emma is not entirely ready for what happens next. 

Belle punches Killian. Hard. If the rather loud grunt of pain he lets out is any indication. 

“Are you kidding me?” she screeches, limbs flailing and it takes a moment for Will to corral both of her arms. “Is this some magic garbage?” “You and Scarlet need to expand your vocabulary,” Killian mutters. “He called it garbage too.” “That’s love, dick,” Will growls, and Emma may laugh. Mary Margaret does, at least. She’s also crying though. And Regina’s jaw is never going to recover. 

She’s got a fireball in her hand. 

“Aye, that’s kind of the crux of all of this, isn’t it?” Killian asks, a retreat back to normal that isn’t quite that anymore and Belle tries to kick him again. 

“Regina were you going to fireball us?” Emma asks pointedly. “I thought we decided there wasn’t an imminent threat.” “There’s not,” Regina says, but it doesn’t sound altogether honest and Emma widens her eyes in unspoken question. “I mean--just...that magic was…” “True Love’ish?” Killian asks. 

Belle makes a noise in the back of her throat. Mary Margaret sniffles. “Emma,” Belle snaps. “Can we throw a chair again?” “I mean, I’d really rather you didn’t.” Belle sighs, any sense of anger gone as quickly as it arrived. There are definitely tears in her eyes. “True Love, huh?” “Persephone was involved, even.” “Oh shit, was there actually a dog?” “Incredibly misunderstood,” Killian murmurs, and Emma can hear that smile as well. He kisses her hair again. 

And that happens quickly too – both Belle and Will moving suddenly and immediately, a mess of limbs and words, tight grips and emotional noises and Emma sees the box change hands, tugging her lips behind her teeth when Killian’s jaw clenches. 

“Ok, wait, wait, so Killian’s not dead?” David asks, several people making several different sounds at that and Ruby muttering something under her breath that sounds a hell of a lot like obviously. “And that--” “--That means we’ve got more than enough magic to get back,” Regina finishes. 

“Wait, what?” Emma snaps. 

“Did you miss the True Love part of your True Love?” “Alright,” Killian warns, but Regina does not look the least bit threatened and Emma has no idea where they’ve been keeping Isaac. She’s been very bad at actively participating in...life. 

She hopes no one mentions that to Killian. Mary Margaret might, honestly. 

“Is there a plan here, your majesty?” Killian continues, Regina’s lips twitching at the title that isn’t quite an endearment. “Or are you just going to do your best to continue to intimidate us with your magic show?” David lets out a low whistle, whatever blooming in the center of Emma’s chest feeling a bit like misplaced pride. And magic. Killian can’t seem to stop kissing her hair. 

“Oh, I have not missed that at all,” Regina says, but she can’t seem to actually get any venom in her voice. “Do you still have magic or--” Killian shakes his head slowly, the feeling dissipating from Emma’s chest almost immediately. “Huh,” Regina muses. “That’s interesting. But there’s still True Love. Well, something about a gift horse, I’m sure.” “What the hell does that mean?” Ruby asks. She’s rocking back and forth, like she’s not sure where she’s supposed to stand, but her eyes keep darting towards Emma, more silent questions and hopeful glances. 

Emma nods. “Good, even.” Mary Margaret may actually jump at that. 

“Did she tell you she was a total and complete disaster?” Ruby mutters, half a smile and Regina groaning in the background because this is not going according to plan and the tips of Killian’s ears are red again. 

Another head shake. 

And Emma’s not entirely surprised it was actually Ruby to say something. 

“We didn’t get that far, really.” “Right, right,” Ruby nods. “Makes sense. Good to know all that déjà vu we were feeling didn’t mean we were actually insane, huh?” “Something like that, for sure.” “You going to keep talking like a modern man of the world, pirate, or you think it’ll just kind of...revert back eventually?” “Swan, make a quip about Lady Lucas’ humor as well,” Killian says, drawing a wide grin out of Ruby and Mary Margaret is sitting on the steps now, brushing away tears with her head resting against the side of David’s leg. 

Regina keeps rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re both hysterical,” Emma says. “Regina, will it work? Can we get home?” There’s a soft murmur of something at Emma’s use of that particular word, Killian’s breath noticeably hitching and fluttering the sides of her hair. Emma resists the urge to tug on her ring. “Aw, that’s nice, Em,” Ruby breathes, perched on the arm of the chair Will had collapsed back into at some point. 

Emma ignores her. “Regina, is it possible? This Isaac guy isn’t going to be a dick?” “Oh, he’s absolutely going to be a dick,” Regina guarantees. “But that’s easily remedied.” “Let’s not have this heart conversation again,” David grumbles. “He’s still got Mary Margaret’s blood. We’ve got the spark of magic and all that True Love and--you know, we’re glad you’re not dead, Killian. Emma was seriously a mess.” “I’m also very glad I’m not dead,” Killian says, pointedly brushing over the mess and Emma will have to thank him for that eventually. 

Maybe later. 

She’s not sure where they’ll go later. 

She’s started hoping again. It is, actually, kind of nice. 

“Isaac still has my blood,” Mary Margaret says, a rehash that probably isn’t necessary but is helpful after the day they’ve all had. “Because, well--I cast the curse, so…” She shrugs, a repentant smile directed Killian’s direction. His fingers tighten around Emma’s shoulder. “Anyway,” she continues, “as far as Regina has been able to get out of him, he’s more than willing to write us back to Misthaven as long as--” “--As long as?” “We don’t immediately kill him when we get back,” Regina finishes. 

Killian’s already shaking his head. So is David. And Emma almost expected both of those reactions. “No,” Killian says sharply. “I’m not guaranteeing the cretin anything except maybe a few prolonged hours to beg for forgiveness.” “I mean, I hate to say he’s got a point, but…” David adds, Ruby and Will both humming in agreement. That second one is a bit more surprising. 

They may have to talk about that later too. 

“It’d be an interesting power to have,” Regina muses, dropping next to Mary Margaret and they’re going to run out of space on the steps. Emma’s legs are starting to wobble again. 

Killian notices. Figures. It’s probably her magic. Or, like...True Love. Gods, they really need to get off Granny’s front lawn. “Just keep breathing, love,” he whispers, twisting her slightly so most of her weight is resting on his side, arms wrapped around his middle and her fingers drifting towards the curve of metal at the end of his arm. 

He tenses at that. 

“Pot and kettle or whatever,” she mutters. 

“Are we only going to talk in clichés now?” Ruby asks, and there’s probably a wolf explanation for her hearing. And the shape of her eyebrows. "Or is that a you guys thing?” “Probably True Love, huh?” Will chuckles. 

Killian clicks his teeth. “You really drove up here?” “Is that surprising? Also your--God, girlfriend is kind of a lame title all things considered isn’t it?” “I don’t mind girlfriend,” Emma promises. Killian exhales softly, any hint of lingering tension disappearing as soon as her fingers find their way around the hook. The metal is cool in her grip, solid and not exactly soft, but smooth and there’s probably several pointed metaphors and equally sentimental clichés there, but she’s mostly just determined to hold onto him and that’s enough for now. 

Will grins. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll see about that. But, uh...yeah, we drove up here and Emma seems very intent on gifting me with most of the Misthaven royal treasury.” Regina appears to choke on air. 

“Ok, that’s not what I said at all,” Emma argues. Will winks at her. “That’s what I heard. We can discuss specifics tomorrow, right?” “Is that the plan?” “We’d like it to be,” Regina says, voice going almost understanding and it’s only a little weird to see her chin resting on her knees. “I know you’ve been thinking about this and--well, we didn’t want to rush you, but now the pirate is--” “--Bloody hell,” Killian grumbles. Emma kisses exactly where her lips land. On top of his jacket.

“Don’t you want to go home?”

Emma considers those words in that very specific order, how the sentence fits into her and settles next to the magic in her veins, twisting around the fingers that are still clutching Killian’s hook like he’s going to disappear if she doesn’t dislocate all her knuckles. She nods. “Yeah,” Emma says. “I--I would. Thanks for waiting.” Regina smiles. “Tomorrow. We’ll talk to Isaac, come up with--” “--Game plan,” Ruby shouts. “That’s a good cliché, right? Thoughts, Jones?” “Top tier clichés, Lady Lucas.” Ruby preens. Honestly. And Mary Margaret is still crying, but there’s a distinct note of happiness in every sniffle, head leaning back against David’s knees now with Regina resting against her side and Belle, somehow, balanced on Will’s left thigh. It’s nice. It’s good. It’s decidedly hopeful and--

“You want to go home?” Emma asks, tilting her head up if only to see what Killian’s mouth does at that and she’s not disappointed. It quirks, gaze drifting somewhere close to loving and he nods, exactly, once. 

“If we don’t see you by two in the afternoon, we’ll send a whole flock of birds,” David calls at them, but they’re already walking back towards Main Street, Emma’s middle finger stuck in the air. And they move a little quicker that time, surer footfalls and hands laced together and Emma’s door is still unlocked. 

She stares at it. Her back doesn’t slam into it, there’s no searing kisses or hands roaming under clothes. There’s just stiff knees and butterflies in her stomach that are wholly misplaced because this is them and collective pronouns and--

Killian twists the handle. 

“Your highness,” he murmurs, swinging the door open with half a smirk and one perfectly arched eyebrow. Emma exhales. It almost sounds like a laugh. 

“It’s really a mess,” she warns, but he’s already shaking his head, stepping over the threshold with practiced ease. Like he should have been doing that from the start. 

“You have blankets?” Emma nods. “And presumably you?” “Me?” “As in you--” Killian swallows, nerves settling on his face and maybe they’re a collective mess. Despite the reunion. And the kisses. And she needs to apologize. For everything she did and didn’t do and her hand finds its way back to his cheek like there are magnets involved. Or, like, True Love, whatever. “As in you’re not planning on going anywhere.”

Emma’s heart explodes. It’s almost nice. “No,” she shakes her head. “Not going anywhere. I...the bedroom is around that corner. Do you want food or something? I feel like I should hydrate you.” “Are you worried about my hydration, love?” “It’s not at the top of my list, but…” Killian laughs softly, lips ghosting over the crown of her head. “I’m alright, Swan. But I’ll admit quick naps in a graveyard aren’t exactly resting.”

“I’ve been sleeping like absolute shit.” “You and me both.” She lets out a shaky noise, tongue darting between her lips because she’s started breathing through her mouth again. “I’m gonna--” Emma nods back towards the hallway and the bathroom and Killian hums in understanding. 

“Go, love.” She wavers, chewing on her tongue with more nerves and fears she knows are obvious on her face. “It’s fine, Emma,” Killian promises. “I can drink some water if that’ll make you feel better.” “It might, honestly.” “Consider it done.” He squeezes her side, another smile that’s more like a smirk and a bit like flirting and Emma’s head isn’t quite spinning anymore, but the water she splashes on her face feels cold enough that she briefly wonders if she’s got any control over anything at all. 

She exhales slowly, resolutely refusing to look at her reflection in the mirror. And she’s never actually bothered to close the bathroom door. That’s probably important. Particularly when it comes to the clothes thing and that’s not really a thing, but she can’t remember when she did laundry last and she’s just kind of been collapsing on her bed. She can’t sleep in jeans.

She can hear her mattress creak behind her. 

“C’mon, Swan,” Emma mumbles, mostly to herself and her mind starts at that because that’s important too and maybe they should make a list of all the things they still have to talk about.

Post sleep. 

For sure. 

She’s got to take her jeans off. 

Emma hates how her fingers tremble when she moves them, drops of water falling from the ends of her fingers, and it takes a few tries to undo the button. And the zipper. She tugs and yanks, uses her feet for some ridiculous reason, but then the fabric is pooled at her ankles and the shirt she’s got on barely makes it past her hips. 

She takes a deep breath, only to let it out almost immediately, lungs not entirely impressed by either of those things and her eyes, finally, flit to the mirror in front of her. She looks like her. And not. There’s still a bit of red in her eyes, exhaustion and emotion in equal measure, with slight bags just above cheekbones that look almost too pronounced and more than a few strands of hair falling out of a ponytail holder that’s been stretched beyond repair. 

It’s alarming and expected, another contradiction that makes perfect sense. Emma’s feet are starting to get cold. 

She nods once, meeting her own gaze and the hope that flutters between her fingers practically sings. So does her magic. The bed creaks again. 

And she spins before she loses her nerve, turning on her heels and walking back into the bedroom and the whole thing was obviously ridiculous because he looks just as nervous as she feels. Emma smiles. 

Killian’s eyebrows jump. 

“Oh,” he breathes, shoulders moving with the force of his exhale. Maybe she should have taken her jeans off earlier. That probably would have scandalized their friends. “This is real, right?” Emma nods slowly, heart hammering so hard against her chest she’s worried it will leave a bruise. That’s got a negative connotation. That’s not what this is. “Yeah,” she mutters. “I hope so, at least.” “I never imagined the lack of pants, so I’ve got to believe this is better than a dream.” “Was that a line?” “I’m far too distracted by your legs to come up with something like that right now.”

Emma laughs – a little watery and absolutely shaky, but the sound is almost warm and her magic is still doing something and Killian’s taken the hook off. He’s already under the blankets. “You start sleeping with your shirt on, then?” Emma asks, pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to keep walking forward. 

And mention them as if there is a them and a past and, most importantly, a future. 

With a shared bed. 

She wonders where that box went. 

Killian’s lips quirk. “I wasn’t--” “--I mean, mine was admittedly kind of a line,” Emma admits, wholly selfish because she does it entirely for the reaction. His smile stretches across his whole face. 

He moves very quickly. And efficiently. The shirt lands...somewhere, she’s not entirely sure, can’t be bothered when there are so many other clothes everywhere, crawling next to him and curling against his side as soon as his arm lifts. 

Emma closes her eyes, letting the feel of him feel, finally trusting herself to believe it’s real and he’s not going anywhere and neither one of them speak for a moment. So, naturally, she breaks the silence. “I’m--” she starts, frustrated by the lump in the back of her throat, “I’m so sorry, Killian.” He doesn’t respond immediately, just slumps further down the small pile of ragged pillows, and Emma’s worried she’s messed up again, but she can hear his heart quicken slightly and the kiss that lands on her forehead is as searing as anything that’s happened all day. 

“I know, love,” he says. “But--uh, we’ll...tomorrow, aye?” “Yeah?” “Yeah. And I’m sure we’re ruining all the clichés already, what with the distinct lack of ravishing tonight, but--” “--We’ve got time, right?” Emma asks, an unfair question when it’s infused with so much hope and want and them. Collectively. Killian brushes away the tears that land on her cheeks. 

“More than we’ll know what to do with.” Emma’s pulse settles, an even rhythm that finally feels human and consistent and the deep breath she takes is the most fulfilling thing she’s had happen in ages. She kisses just above his heart. “Ok,” she whispers, waving her hand to turn the lights off and neither one of them wake up once all night. 

[honestgrins]

Fair Warning || Klaroline

@313etanonymys: Can you do like a drabble where Katherine warns Caroline about Klaus or something?😍😘💖🔥 (TVD S2 AU) Thanks for the prompt, I hope you like it!

Katherine crashed against the invisible barrier, seething as Caroline waved cheerily through the doorway. Her tears of terror were instead replaced by a beatific smile at having successfully trapped the she-devil. “What did you do?”

“Nothing you don’t deserve,” Caroline answered. Her eyes tracked over the doppelganger’s shoulder to where Stefan was hiding. “Have fun!” She turned to leave and rejoin the party, but it seemed Katherine wasn’t done with her yet.

“Everything I do, I do for a reason!” she shouted. “You’ll be sorry when he comes, and I’ll be there to make sure of it.”

Forcing herself not to look back, Caroline couldn’t help the frozen feeling of dread crawling down her spine. When who comes?

“His name is Klaus,” Elena explained as they hiked through the woods, each step closer to the tomb worrying Caroline just a bit more. “He’s supposed to be the oldest, most dangerous vampire, and I need more information that Damon and Stefan refuse to help me get."

The unease grew to a seize of panic that stopped Caroline in her tracks, the sudden motion happening too quickly with her still-new vampire abilities. "If Stefan doesn't want you talking to Katherine, he has to have a good reason. Maybe we should leave, convince him to come back with us."

Rolling her eyes, Elena didn’t even pause, her pace even along the familiar paths of the woods. “It’s not like she can hurt me, she’s sealed in the tomb. And we can’t get her out, so there’s no chance she can manipulate us to break the spell.”

Caroline wasn’t proud of the moment it took her brain to process, only for her thoughts to immediately spill from her mouth. “Is that the only reason you asked me and not Bonnie?”

"No," Elena answered as patiently as she could. "Stefan would also be pissed if I came her without vampire supervision in case something goes wrong. Do you want to leave?"

"Not without you." Mustering her courage and anxiety, she followed Elena down through the church ruins. Her enhanced senses for both smell and magic left her recoiling, but she think she managed to hide it. Mostly. By the time she'd rolled the giant rock door away from the mouth of the tomb, she felt almost confident with the energizing feat of strength. 

But then the dark cavern seemed to grow darker the longer they waited for Katherine to appear. Elena reached into her tote, and Caroline's fangs nearly dropped at the blood bad she pulled out. It took more strength than she realized to stop herself from launching toward where Elena tossed it past the safe line, her eyes greedily staring at the jostling liquid inside when it landed. Only the raspy breath coming from the starving vampire it was intended for allowed her to finally look away.

Dragging her feet as she leaned heavily against the stone wall to help her walk, Katherine looked...rough. Still, her expression was haughty as ever when she saw Elena sitting just outside her prison. “What are you doing here?”

“I want answers about Klaus, and I think you have them. No funny business, I swear.”

Katherine raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound very fun for me, you see, so I’ll pass.”

She couldn’t help it, her fangs dropped as anger overwhelmed her sensitive emotional balance. If she could find a therapist that specialized in the supernatural needs of the recently dead, Caroline would be all over it. Faced with the woman who killed her and the impertinent personality of such bitch, her already frayed nerves were obviously on a razor’s edge. “Just take the peace offering and answer her questions, it’s not that hard.”

“Or what?” Canting her head to the side, Katherine turned that teasing gaze on her. “You’ll nag at me from the other side of that pesky line? Unless you’d like to join me. We could have fun, Caroline,” she teased, voice full of promise - whether for violence or more pleasurable experiences, Caroline didn’t know. “And trust me, when Klaus comes, you’ll wish you were in this damn tomb. You all actually did me a favor with this set-up, I’ll be the safest girl in town.”

Elena leaned forward eagerly. “So you do know Klaus.”

For a split second, smoothed faster than any human sight could register, Katherine Pierce actually looked scared. But she made her way to the ground as gracefully as possible and snatched the blood bag up to drink. After a longing pull of the straw, her eyes flicked up to her mirror image. “Yep. It’s cute you all think I’m the big bad, when you have no clue what evil is really out there. I do what I need to survive. Klaus...he doesn’t stop at survival. Try to stop him, and he’ll make your life a living hell.”

“Is that what he did to you?” Caroline asked, surprised at the wistful warning and that it was coming from her of all people. It bled of bad memories and worse nightmares; a bad feeling crawled up her spine at what might have haunted her murderer’s centuries.

Licking her lips, Katherine squinted up at her, as though measuring her up. She smirked when Caroline’s back straightened in reaction. “He wishes. But now he's got bigger fish to fry than little, old me."

"You know what he wants."

Her eyes rolled before they landed on Elena, who patiently watched for any reaction to the accusation. Katherine, however, didn't seem all that willing to rise to the bait. Shrugging, she jutted her chin toward the tote bag Elena still held in her lap. They stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment, the tension making Caroline shift in her stance, though she didn't dare interrupt. 

Finally, Elena frowned and pulled out another blood bag. She lifted it in warning. "What does he want?"

"You," Katherine sighed. "He needs a doppelgänger, a human one. I ruined his plans five hundred years ago by transitioning, something he has yet to forget or forgive."

Caroline shook her head. "Then why not come get her? Mystic Falls isn't exactly a fortress."

Tongue clucking, Katherine's expression turned almost pitying. "You're not asking the right question. When the time is right, I'm sure Klaus will do just that. Violently, with a lot of collateral damage." Her eyes flicked down the line of Caroline's body. "By the way, how is Tyler? I've been so worried about him since he triggered his curse," she whispered, like it was dirty word.

A sudden fear clenched around Caroline's throat. "Leave him out of this."

"Too late." The sing-song tone grated on her nerves, and she really didn't like the way Katherine's teasing gaze stayed trained on her. "Tell me, baby vamp, what do you know about the curse of the sun and moon?”

They spent a good hour with Katherine, gleaning every detail and rumor they could about her dealings with Klaus and what trouble he might bring for them. But even days later, all Caroline had in her mind were more questions and a deep, deep fear she couldn't shake. Between that and trying to keep up the human act for her mom and Matt, she was a jittery mess scrambling for control. 

And then Tyler went missing. 

A part of her hated to even notice, let alone worry for him after the kidnapping and torture he enabled at the hands of his uncle’s pack. Carol had approached her directly at a fundraiser, though, concerned that he’d stopped answering texts. “He knows better than this, to miss so much school,” she said, near frantic despite the breezy smile she held for the other guests. “To go camping, of all things, with some people he just met. I know you’ve had a falling out, but if you hear from him...”

Caroline had brushed it off as wolf business; the closest thing to camping she’d ever seen Tyler do is pass out at the watering hole after a particularly impressive keg stand, so it stood to reason that it was a convenient cover for running around the woods in nothing but fur. Sending a text was the most she was willing to do. As the days dragged on with no answer, especially given the groveling he’d tried to do before he left, she reluctantly felt her own concern growing. 

Things didn’t click in her mind until Damon made an off-hand remark about one less wolf to beat to the curse. “Not that Lockwood is likely to solve any puzzle first. Katherine had it right, wolves make better brawn than brains, best used for cannon fodder."

"They're still people," Stefan had sighed.

But Damon just shrugged. "Collateral damage, whatever."

Collateral damage.

Horror seeping into her awareness, Caroline almost charged her way back to the tomb. The rock barrier rolled away with a crash, her control frayed by sudden realization. "You've been collecting us," she accused, her voice echoing into the darkness. "You're working for Klaus, to help him break this curse."

Silence held for a long moment, then a slow clap rang out. Katherine's croak was strained, but her amusement clear. "Give the girl a prize." Clawing her way toward the entrance, the older vampire's eyes were oddly intent for the physical weakness she was showing. Her skin had become gray and flaky in the week since their visit, the slender frame Caroline so envied in her doppelgänger wasted away to look almost skeletal. "But I'm no one's lackey, cupcake, and definitely not Klaus's."

Caroline frowned as she crept to the edge of the doorway, fighting down the impulse to take a step away. Even without blood and spelled into captivity, Katherine would always prick her confidence for fear of dying again; worse, she was pretty sure the scheme already put into place was going to get her killed anyway. "Because of what he did to your family," she guessed, though the story had haunted her dreams. Finding nothing but blood and devastation where her home stood left her waking in a cold sweat, a sudden fear only soothed by the sound of her mother's undisturbed snores in the next room.

"Klaus is a monster," Katherine answered in a dry whisper. "Whatever you think of me, I can promise he'll deliver tenfold. I've seen it.”

"Then why do his evil bidding?"

Her withered tongue traced her cracked lips, eyes closed in apparent exhaustion. "I've been on the run for five hundred years, and not once have I been able to outsmart him other than to keep running. Mystic Falls has a human doppelgänger, a moonstone, a werewolf, a very powerful Bennett witch, and a vampire." Her eyes flicked open, squarely landed on Caroline. "If that's not a ticket for freedom, then I don't know what is."

Sneering with more venom than she knew she could muster, Caroline curled her hands into fists to keep from tearing the bitch limb from limb. "I should make Bonnie let you out so you can be the goddamned sacrifice."

"Funny, love," a new voice said, its lilting accent confusing and endearing all at once. "I was thinking the same thing."

About to turn, Caroline froze as Katherine scrambled further into the tomb, like she was trying to disappear entirely. The natural curiosity she felt at the stranger was soon overpowered by an utter awareness of the power he was exuding, made worse considering she hadn't noticed him sneak into the cavern. Slowly, she moved to face him and the threat he posed, careful to keep her back to the solid rock wall. Shorter than she’d imagined and sporting a deceptively pleasant smile, she found a very attractive man staring at her with obvious calculation. "Klaus."

His smile spread, deepening the dimples she hadn’t noticed yet. Added to the artful curls and pink lips, he might have stepped right out of an angelic painting rather than the hell he supposedly ruled as the Original Vampire. But she’d seen a pretty face and gotten a monster before, and Caroline wasn’t fooled. “I’d be impressed for one so young to recognize me, but I think Katerina’s been telling tales. Surely a smart girl like you knows better than to believe a word out of her mouth.”

Wetting her suddenly dry lips, Caroline did know better than to let her eyes slide away from Klaus with his focus solely on her. “I’m something of a gossip. Information is valuable, and even bad sources tell the truth sometimes.”

Eyebrows lifting, Klaus took a step forward. Once more, she had to fight the instinct to move back. Her fear was more rational considering he wasn’t magically locked behind a barrier, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of showing the terror he inspired. “I happen to appreciate information, sweetheart. Perhaps you’d be willing to share?”

She forced a smile of her own. “Sorry. Mom said to never talk to strangers or crazy old vampires intent on killing my friends.”

“Ah, but the good sheriff isn’t a fan of any vampires,” Klaus said, eyes narrowed on her reaction. “Is she, Caroline?”

Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, her teeth clenched to keep from trembling.

Klaus smirked as he closed the gap between them, and he raised a knuckle just under her chin. “Now, Katerina would say otherwise, but I believe family is important. I wouldn’t dream of harming your mother, and I’m prepared to make assurances to that fact.”

Slaughtered, all of them. The entire village only because they knew me. Katherine’s story rang in her ears, and the hands that wrought that destruction within inches of her throat. And he was promising to keep her mom safe. “Why?”

His head canted to the side, like he was assessing her. “Because I think you might be the key to solving my little curse, dear Caroline, and I’d like your help.”

“And if I say no?”

Lips curling up, Klaus let a thumb coast along the edge of her jaw. “I have many means of persuasion, love. I’d hate to have to choose harsher methods.”

Caroline breathed in deeply, her brain working in overdrive to think through her options. Almost tempted to dive into the tomb, she knew it would leave her mom and her friends to the harsh methods he promised. Worse, she would be helpless to do anything but watch Katherine desiccate, knowing the same would happen to her.

Had Klaus truly wanted to kill her, she would have been dead already. She didn’t particularly want to help him break the stupid curse, mostly because it ended up with her also dead. Even if she managed to earn enough goodwill to save herself, Elena and Tyler were still at risk. 

But if she refused, they’d all probably die anyway.

“What do you want me to do?”

Klaus just tapped her chin, immediately stepping back, though she didn’t relax her posture. “I want that information you’re so keen on collecting, love. The Salvatores, the Bennett witch, your precious Elena. I like knowing the pieces on the board.”

She scoffed. “This isn’t a game.”

“Sure it is,” he laughed, looking at her like she was a cute animal chasing its own shadow. “Think it over, as to whether you’d like to play on the winning side.” He nudged his head back toward the gaping hole in the stone. “You’ve already seen what it means to lose.”

Biting her lip, Caroline watched him walk to the edge of the cavern where he’d make his exit. “I don’t want anyone to die.”

He had the audacity to wink at her. “Then it sounds like you ought to win, Caroline.” Easily jumping up to the church ruins, Klaus was gone, leaving her to consider his offer - as vague as it was.

"You just landed on the wrong list, blondie," Katherine croaked, leaning out of the darkness just enough for Caroline to make out the shape of her. "Palling around with Klaus is only going to get you killed."

"It's your fault he's here at all," she hissed back, nerves frayed to the point of exhaustion.

A huff of laughter, then a ragged cough. "To be fair, he did seem to like you. Didn't even draw any blood. Must be getting mature in his old age," she whispered teasingly. "He is pretty great in bed, if that helps. You'll still end up dead, but at least you'll have some fun first."

She wanted to scream. "Shut up."

"Whatever," Katherine sighed as Caroline stomped away. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Hopping out of the cavern without nearly the grace Klaus had managed, Caroline tried to focus on anything other than the idea of Klaus's bed and what it'd mean to pick him.

[lesbianarcana]

could you just... like... answer all of those questions at once? I can't pick one but I wanna know all the things

Oh God okay

[[MORE]]

1. When did you start playing?

Oh a long time ago...over a  year ago I’d say? The main 3 were only up to uhhhh the Hermit book I think. I remember I stopped playing after that gross fetishy Asra CG came out.

2. What got you into the game?

The beautiful art and the tarot theme. This was before I knew what I know fdjhksd

3. Who was your first route?

Julian!

4. Who is your favourite route?

Honestly Muriel is shaping up to be my favourite so far. Before that, I loved Asra’s route.

5. Who is your least favourite?

So far, Portia’s. Don’t get me wrong - it’s nothing to do with Portia herself. It just feels a little stagnant and flat.

(I bet you expected me to say Lucio, didn’t you? Well, you’re wrong).

6. Who do you play in Heart Hunter?

Chibi Chandra!

7. Who is your favourite to chase in Heart Hunter?

Portia or Muriel!

8. Who of the not playable LIs do you wish you could romance?

The baker. Selasi route when?

9. Opinion on Asra?

Asra is often mischaracterised imo and held to an unfair standard that a lot of the other characters aren’t. I’ve seen many of these arguments and I’m tired.

Asra is not jealous, possessive, creepy, manipulative or shady. Not once does he act possessive towards the MC in any of the routes including his own (a possible exception could be made for the Reversed Ending, but what do you expect? That’s after the MC literally enables that behaviour).

Being sad or cautioning the MC against Julian is not being jealous or possessive. The way he talks about Julian it’s pretty obvious he felt more for the man than he realises, even if he doesn’t understand that himself.

Asra keeps secrets from the MC because canonically trying to remember too much too fast harms the MC. This has been established. In his route, he literally tells you that he hates keeping secrets from you. He takes you into his own personal gateway - an expression of trust and a willingness to open up to you. Does he do these things in the other routes? No, but that’s because you’re not spending that time with him.

I also see people angsting about how sad Asra is going to be when you tell him about Lucio in his route. Lucio harmed his parents and has been cruel to Asra so like idk what you expect. The MC doesn’t know this of course, but you do!

I think we also forget that Asra took a considerable amount of time and effort to rehabilitate the MC, care for them and reteach them basic tasks as well as magic.

Is Asra a perfect person? Of course not. He’s probably overly cautious, he can be a little distant and he reacts badly when in a crisis (see the deal he made with the Devil). He’s not always brave and not always strong, but why should we expect him to be? He’s a human being and he’s bound to have faults, but he has a generous nature and is remarkably well-adjusted considering the trauma of his childhood (don’t tell me that suddenly losing your parents is not traumatic).

10. Opinion on Julian?

I once said that Julian is likely hypersexual and I still maintain that. (For those of you who don’t know, being hypersexual is like..a tendency to engage in compulsive or self-harming sexual behaviour, sometimes as a result of trauma). I think Julian craves affection and associates sexual interest or sexual contact with his worth as a person. I don’t think he does it deliberately or to be manipulative, but because he has a definite self-esteem problem. I honestly see him as bipolar like me.

I think the way the fandom treats him as this dumbass uwu subby boy is kind of annoying. A lot of people I feel erase his bisexuality either by just ignoring it or by making homophobic jokes where the punchline is ‘ha ha he likes dick like you do!!!!’ like no shit, he’s BISEXUAL. But he’s also hard-working, brave, clever, pleasant and good-natured, and once he starts to really come into his own, he’s cheerful and optimistic. He has so many more good qualities than just ‘submissive and kinky’.

11. Opinion on Lucio?

This may surprise y’all but I actually don’t hate Lucio that much. I love to hate him as a villain.

I think he, like all of us, is a product of his environment. He grew up in a clan with a strong martial culture; his clan were warlike and frequently made war on his neighbours. We’re all influenced by our upbringing and I don’t think he’s an exception. I draw the line at saying he ‘just didn’t know right from wrong’ though. He’s not a baby.

But the differences between Lucio and the other LIs like Portia, Asra, Muriel etc is that Lucio’s life and his fate and the hardships he’s faced are almost entirely due to his own choices. It was he who decided on the eve of his eighteenth birthday to kill his parents. He sought out Vlagnagog with the intention of making a deal. He chose to continue to make deals. He knew he carried the plague and he chose to carry it across the continent including into Vesuvia, causing the deaths of thousands. He murdered and blackmailed his way across the continent. He wouldn’t have even needed to bargain for a new body if he hadn’t caught the plague that he brought into Vesuvia himself after making a deal etc.

Do I think he is a sort of cackling, villainous cliche or unrepentantly evil? No. I think he’s a person who has made deliberate choices that he is facing the consequences for and IMO it’s important that he face those consequences. I do think his main issue is entitlement and a profound lack of self-esteem (I don’t think he really believes any of the stuff he actually says about himself or other people; even Lucio’s not delusional).

I mean that’s about as generous and objective a take on Lucio as I can give you. I’ve made my feelings clear on him, but I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t actually understand him as a character, hopefully the above will prove I do haha.

12. Opinion on Muriel?

Out of all the LIs I think I relate most strongly to Muriel because of a few reasons: trauma, touch-starved, lonely and wants to connect but afraid of getting hurt (physically or emotionally).

Now that I’ve gotten personal, I really hate the way Muriel is treated by the fandom. He’s either called bland or boring, or he’s treated like he’s an animal, called feral and animalistic. He’s none of those things.

Muriel has a big complex about being alone. He was literally given away by his parents and left in Vesuvia on his own, to fend for himself on the streets. Being abandoned by his parents and not knowing why, not remembering is traumatic enough, but because of his size he’s often characterised as aggressive and strong when he’s always been gentle. Later in his life, Muriel was forced to fight and kill people against his will. I don’t think a lot of people get just how traumatic that is; not only being forced into doing Lucio’s bidding, but being forced to violently take someone’s life. I don’t blame him for leaving to live at his hut and resist connecting to anyone. It’s common for traumatized people to withdraw and isolate themselves, because the thought of getting hurt again is more frightening than being alone. But everyone needs human contact, and I think Muriel struggles a lot between wanting connection and contact (physical or emotional), between not wanting to get hurt again, to not feeling like he’s worth the effort. That struggle is something very close to my heart and that’s why I’m attached to him.

13. Opinion on Nadia?

Nadia has the biggest youngest sister complex and it’s almost amusing because I, too, have the same complex (even though I’m actually the older sibling!). Nadia, like me, feels like she’s always been compared unfavourably to her older sisters, and has felt like she has to work harder to prove she’s their equal.

It’s probably because she’s a Cancer like me. We have dual natures sometimes; the caretaker and the ringleader, who feel like we have to take it all on ourselves to get the job properly done, but who have moments where our self-doubt takes over.

I do find some aspects of Nadia’s route to be sort of odd, where it’s mentioned that the people of Vesuvia find her to be a tyrant. There’s literally no evidence to suggest that, so the only reasoning I can find next is she’s a woc. But race doesn’t matter in Vesuvia apparently so...what else could be the reason? Not to mention she’s been asleep for the past three years, so the people haven’t even seen the Countess in that time.

I feel like we didn’t really get to understand a lot about Nadia even from her route-why did she fall asleep? What on Earth did she see in Lucio? Why did she let him do all those bad things in Vesuvia before he died? (My initial thought was Cancers can be sloth-like and passive, so that could be why).

14. Opinion on Portia?

Of all the LIs I feel like it’s Portia I know the least about despite having probably the most appearances. Sure, she’s quirky and fun and cheerful, and that’s cute, but...what does she want? What does she fear? How does she feel about her brother being on trial?

I’m hoping we get to expand more of her personality in her route. I know her patron Arcana is the Star, so her route will likely be about learning to have faith in other people, but who knows.

15. What is your favourite Arcana card?

Justice. The Empress is a close runner-up.

16. Have you bought any of the official merch?

No, I refuse to give a single cent to Nix Hydra. (I really want those Tarot cards though hhh)

17. What is your favourite CG?

The one where Asra is sitting in the gondola. Squishy cheeks :3c

18. How many Arcana themed blogs do you have?

Three! This one, then I run an Ask Muriel blog at @ask-muriel-inanna and an Ask Asra blog at @ask-asra-and-faust

19. Do you draw any Arcana art? What is your favourite image you have drawn?

The cover I just did for my Arcana comic! I cant link but it's in #arcana comic and #my art

20. Self insert or apprentice insert?

Both are valid, but I have an apprentice OC.

21. Do you have an apprentice?

Yes I do! Their name is Daya

22. If there is one thing that could be made with the Arcana theme on it, what would it be and why?

Idk what this means I big dumb

23. What is your favourite ship?

Outside of the LI x MC ships I really do like Asriel and Portia/Nadia (but only if Portia isn’t her servant anymore).

24. What is your least favourite ship?

Muriel x Lucio, Asra x Lucio or Julian x Lucio. None of them would even consider ever touching Lucio with a ten foot pole and y’all know this.

25. On your first play through, what direction was your ending for the LIs?

Upright babey!!!!!

[musubiki]

misc m&l post for the gang

➞

mochi: 

- LOVES fish. she would eat fish every day if it was nutritionally acceptable. she loves poke with rice the best. shrimp is a close second

- limes grandfather owns a boat at the docks and goes fishing some afternoons. he has lime give mochi some fish and she gets EXCITED. nothing makes her happier than when lime comes in the door with a big cooler and a shit eating grin

- there's a bunch of cats around the mochi shoppe. its like a cat cafe. they say its because mochi used to feed the cats the leftovers and now they won't go away, but in reality, the cats are just drawn to the cat witch

- but, mochi does feed the cats the leftovers

- mochi gets real cat ears and a tail once and month, and all her magic is gone for the duration of the event (usually about 12 hours dusk to dawn) (it manifests physically so she cant use any magic)

- and its hilarious because shes much more cat-like than usual. if you use a laser pointer she will jump on it with very dialated pupils

- she also purrs. lime climbed in her bed and rubbed her ears once(1) and she purred for one(1) second and now he will never let it go. he locks her in a hug to hear her purring on him. she cannot hold her breath forever

- always grumbles and resists when lime hugs/snuggles up to her, calling him a jerk or whatever but she secretly likes it. cant tell him that though so she pretends she doesnt (hes demanding and cocky so he ignores her grumbling and shes thaknful for that)

- mochis room has a lot of plants on her shelves and windowsills and walls. turns out its great to keep a lot of plants around for spell ingredients. and her room smells great

- mochi no like banana

- she and lime bring each other food everyday. he brings them bao buns or some sandwhiches for lunch and she brings desert cakes (his favorite are chocolate or coffee) and mochi ice cream

- mochis schedual (limes too) is basically to wake up early -> help her mom set up shop -> go to school -> come home and work in the shop until 5-6pm and then her and lime go hang out/do homework 

- her favorite thing is when they go to the marketplace together to go shopping for groceries. sometimes they go to the starbucks next to the beach and watch the sunset. its a nice and warm aesthetic

- puts stickers in her spellbook

- uses her one hairtie for every hairstyle

lime:

- has a dog. its a brown austrelian kelpie mix and hes adorable. his name is almond and lime loves him very much

- his family got him as a puppy when lime was 12 when someone was giving away puppies at the supermarket parking lot. 

- hes an excited pupper, very loyal and loves to play fetch. he runs around chasing cats and especially chasing pom. pom hates his ass with all her being

- mochi thinks hes cute, but thinks he can be a bit of a hassel. ofc seeing the cute doggo jump and slober all over lime is adorable so she accepts it

- lime is good in every school subject, but lies about it so he has a reasonable excuse to hang out with mochi. “yyyyeah i failed that last test so uhhh looks like ill have to come over to your house so you can tutor me hahahaha” (he used this a lot when they were just becoming friends)

- hard hitter. he makes the most home runs during baseball games. the rest of the team debates if he could theoretically decapitate someone

- when mochi gets her cat ears once a month lime calls her “kitty” and uses an exessive amount of cat puns. 

- never brings an umbrella ANYWHERE. he would have to run back to his house after going to the gym and was soaked by the time he got there

- and then would find mochi in the greenhouse, and proceed to harass her with sloshy soaked hugs while she struggles to get away

- is actually pretty repesctful of boundaries. if mochi told him she didnt want him to do something anymore, he would stop. and she knows that too, which is why he keeps harrassing her despite her mild protests (he’ll harass her until she seriously asks him to stop)

- no one at school knows where mochi and lime live. they purposely dont tell anyone at school just so all the girls dont come and crowd the shops just to hang out with him

- hes a little bit of a horndog for mochi. (it gets way worse when he realizes he loves her later on)

- cant braid anything to save his life. tried to braid mochis hair once after she gave him a tiny braid. he failed pretty bad

coco:

- part of the track team. shes one of the fastest runners they have. her and lime are more athletic while mochi and oscar are more of the book/nerd types. 

- goth jock (kinda. she wears a lot of monochrome to make her hair stand out)

- she has a pet bird she keeps in her apartment for company!! its a whiteface cockatiel she named “Wing crosby.” shes too embarassed to tell anyone its name so she always panics and says like “john” or something

- acts all cocky all the time, but is actually afraid of a lot of things. she doesnt like heights. or scary movies. or the dark. or wind. shes the biggest scardy cat in the group, but she tries to hide it constantly 

- pretends to be annoyed when oscar asks her to come ghost hunting with him, but she actually kind of enjoys it. she likes going through the comments on the youtube videos later and see everyone complimenting her. plus she gets a boost of ig followers

- she seems to pick on oscar more and more as time goes on. when mochi asked her why, she said “......you know that feeling when you see a really cute dog and you just wanna squish its face in your hands?????? yeah.” she thinks hes adorable. puppy. she doesnt know how to express any emotion other than ridicule. 

- has a skateboard. skateboards around all the time. is actually not bad at it

- manages to get starbucks every morning somehow. 

- the one girl who always brings her aesthetic tumbler of coffee with the plastic straw to classes in the morning 

oscar:

- has a habit of putting his feet up on his desk. que coco whacking his muddy boots away with a magazine

- has two brothers, milo(older) and roland(younger) and a sister on the way. roland is the most musically gifted, but their whole family is pretty good.

- they live out in the countryside so they can generally make a lot of noise without anyone caring. 

- they tease oscar about “having no music talent” (he can only really play the ukulele a little), but really hes the best singer in the family. they dont tell him so it doesnt go to his head

- oscar lives near a river/lake, so he takes a small boat out and goes fishing sometimes. he just chills in the boat with his lil fishing hat and hums quietly. 

- he actually has a big scar on his cheek, which is why he has that bandage thing there. he was in an accident when he was young that left a pretty deep scar there from stitches, and hes really self-concious of it

- pulls his hood over his head when hes embarassed/upset

- his father is a wood-worker. they make a bunch of premium custom furniture and actually have a pretty successful business. oscar is the only son whose actually taking over the business

- and oscar is REALLY good. he made their kitchen table out of a bunch of wood scraps and it looks AMAZING. he just laughs it off as “nah its nothing compared to my dads work”

- the only one in the group with his whole family in-tact.

- has a tv set up in the woodshop so he can watch stuff while he works. its actually more of a hobby for him at this point before he actually starts working on orders

- panics a lot once he realizes he likes coco. he pulls a dipper and makes one of those stupid long lists once as a self-guide on how to talk to coco because hes so nervous 

- made coco a little birdhouse for her bird once as a surprise. it was a nice little house painted black/dark gray on the outside, and a bright blue on the inside to match her aesthetic. she pretended to be like “its ok” but was tearing up a little

[thegeminisage]

merlin thots about the s5 opening episodes.......

here’s your courtesy cut

one of my favorite things about s5 so far is how very nicely arthur and merlin have both 1. grown up and 2. grown into each other...they still give each other shit 24/7 but it’s a lot more companionable and comfortable now than it ever has been. furthermore, both of them exhibit the use of MULTIPLE braincells even at the SAME TIME. they work very well together as a team even in the heat of battle (we did see shades of this near the end of s4), despite merlin being kind of useless at physical combat when he couldn’t rely on his magic for a boost. they can have entire conversations without a word and they’re just INCREDIBLY synchronized. the whole #vibe has really gotten a level up

timeline-wise, it’s been roughly a decade since season 1. in s1 they said the purge began 20 years ago (upon arthur’s birth), and shortly after, he had a coming of age ceremony - 21′s an important number, so in season 1 arthur began as being 20 and turned 21 before the end. season 2 = 22. gap year for s2-s3 = 23. season 3 = 24. s3-s4 gap year = 25. season 4 = 26. 3 gap years betweeen s4-s5 = 27, 28, 29. season 5 = 30. i don’t know how long it was in real life between seasons 4 and 5 (definitely not three years), but i really do feel like they’ve both aged SO much and they absolutely act like people who have known each other for a decade.

gwen as queen is AMAZINGNGLSDKJGHDSLFG she’s SO PRETTY i love her SO MUCH. love that she has her own serving girl now! this is what she deserves

the round table is good too altho it looks a bit too big for that room. it’s amazing though like...FUCK uther pendragon arthur has come SO FAR

merlin being nice to the new girl is very charming. makes him seem older and w-w-WISER (love that word) by comparison

also love that merlin gets to ride a horse while some of the footsoldiers walk. that’s #status. that’s *** ******

pretty sure i had a stroke during merlin’s vision of arthur’s death. the whole thing was done SO well - they go from the battlefield and arthur’s incredibly dirty face as he very realistically looks like he’s falling down and dying and then cut to a very alive and present arthur asking what’s wrong. you can really FEEL the whiplash, and also the dread settles in nice and deep, at least it does if you’re me and you’ve read spoilers, like, “only you can keep arthur safe” BUT I KNOW HE DOESN’T I KNOW HE CAN’T I KNOW HE FAILS and merlin might as well know it too because he looks ready to CRY and thru the rest of this 2-parter opening he acts like he thinks arthur may drop dead at any moment

i feel like i read somewhere once that actors don’t like to eat during a scene unless absolutely necessary because when you do 30 takes of something you get very full very quickly and some even go so far as to have a spit bucket just out of sight so that they can just get rid of it without having to eat any more. which makes it absolutely bananas to me that so often in merlin the characters are not only eating but eating very quickly as though they really have been roughing it in the wilderness all day & are absolutely famished...they don’t have to show them eating so often BUT THEY DO

arthur getting merlin into a tight spot by insisting he perform, planning on laughing at his failure? funny. merlin ACTUALLY USING MAGIC TO TEACH HIMSELF TO JUGGLE so that he could watch arthur’s jaw hit the floor? PRICELESS. i wonder how long it took him to do that, he definitely wasn’t using a body double

merlin is acting so bleak and dire in these episodes that even mr no-empathy himself asks him whats wrong, multiple times. they’re doing a VERY good job at really driving home the fact that arthur’s time is running short and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. merlin’s so sick with dread he’s making ME sick with dread. arthur’s here and being his normal dumbass self but the distance between them feels HUGE during the moments merlin is thinking about arthur’s impending doom

arthur all “i cant believe u can juggle i didnt even know you could catch” and then throwing the boots at merlin only for merlin to NOT CATCH THEM and arthur goes “see explain that” and merlin goes “wish i could” and i D I E 

because he’s KNOWN HIM FOR A DECADE and he still can’t explain the magic and at this point it must feel like to him that he never, ever will UUUUUGH it’s funny how they can feel so close to each other one second and like THIS the next i am DYING

the little conversation they have when they make camp the next night is the same. the sad music plays, merlin keeps looking at arthur like it might be the last time he sees him, and arthur keeps insisting on asking merlin what’s wrong and trying to make him feel better...they’re really for real friends!!! they’re so serious and grown up!!!!!

ive lost count of how many times either merlin or arthur has been nearly dead and had to get hauled around by the other one

also of how many times merlin used his magic in a way that should have been obvious to bystanders and wasn’t

“if morgana doesnt kill you i will" “threatening a king is treason merlin” “what about threatening an ASS” listen. look me in the eyes. this is TOP TIER banter

remember how in the early seasons they’d bend over backwards to leave plausible deniability when expressing affection? like “we’d be good friends if you weren’t a prince” or “you’re not wise or anything but yeah you’re wise” or whatever dumb toxic masculinity bullshit...those days are OVER with. merlin speaks DIRECTLY from the heart. “i’m worried about you” and “i swear i’ll protect you or die at your side” he is not fucking around even a little bit. this fool is in love

they were ALMOST cuddling when they slept together under that overhang

the two of them trapped in that net was PRICELESS. in the early seasons i got a little tired of the frequent slapstick/juvenile humor and wished the series was a bit more serious but now that they’re here i cling to every shred of levity with my whole heart

i was SO relieved to realize gwen wasn’t actually planning on killing that poor girl - i kept saying the entire time it was very out of character for her, no way could she be that cruel

arthur: “you wanna kill me fine but my last request is for you not to kill merlin” merlin: “you wanna kill arthur fine but you’re gonna have to go through me” arthur: “for fucks sake”

merlin: i never do as i’m told! that’s *** ******

i dont care if mordred DID save their lives i NEVER wanted to see him less i am so full of dread

i can’t BELIEVE morgana also has a pet dragon. she and merlin could have been the BEST foils and i’m STAYING mad about it. she was actually so good in this episode - way less full of evil smirks - that i briefly rejoined the morgana defense squad and got REAL pissed when mordred eventually shanked her, ESPECIALLY after she was so happy she was nearly crying to see him again. WHAT IS IT WITH THAT KID AND STABBING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF

the snowy environments in this episode were soooo good. the scenery was just...top fucking tier and it’s nice to see them somewhere other than the same old places. also like NO allo but arthur looks really nice just wandering around through a bunch of fucking snowbanks with dirt all over his face

arthur and merlin’s little ploy to steal that dagger by arthur faking a collapse was SO GOOD. they’re SO IN SYNC. i was THRILLED. better still: he winked when he was done. he used like FIVE WHOLE BRAIN CELLS AT ONCE and he was ALMOST as proud of himself as i am proud of him. what a guy, that arthur pendragon

their escape was really good too. the nonverbal communication? top tier! they just give each other little looks and then proceed to wreck the whole scene. doubly funny when the slaver is like WHO SPILLED THAT STUFF and arthur just kind of jerks his head over at merlin. snitches get stitches, YOUR HIGHNESS

i barely felt one whole emotion for sefa or her dad but him dying was like. sad. this show is sad. why the fuck am i watching it. i hate character death. they were hugging

arthur seemed like he was having just the time of his LIFE sneaking into that big ol tower of doom. dude was all cute little quips and smiles. popped his head outta that lil minecart like a kid at christmas

i love also that you give percival nothing but a single sword and in short order he goes about liberating all the slaves, killing all the slavers, and then reappropriating their swords to a better cause. he’s a one-man army. i was SO impressed. and he really looked like he was having fun too

merlin seeing that lil baby dragon again was SO fucked up and sad. why can’t it TALK :(((

also lmao “merlin you cant be that stupid” “no i am if you dont believe me watch” and merlin bolts and arthur sighs with SO much longsuffering and says “im going after him”

the light in morgana’s eyes when she talks about wanting to have arthur’s head and then her stabbing him over and over without actually killing him...she’s batshit insane. rip

i do like that arthur sort of TRIED to talk her around...it’s the first time he’s really gotten to speak with her since the end of season 3 when he found out who she was

on a final note, though, i am less than thrilled with the knighting of mordred...how is it arthur can KNOW who he is, that he’s a druid, and can do magic, and LET HIM INTO THE KNIGHTS, and still have sorcery be outlawed in camelot?? it doesnt make any SENSE

[guttergodsknife]

Character Info: Rashk Geilt

BASICS.

Full name: ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓  ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓

Pronunciation:  raa-SHK

Alias: Rashk Geilt, Rashk Wimborne, the Charlatan, Kismet, various others. 

Nicknames: ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓

Height: Short (somewhere around 5′2, give or take a little depending on the height of his heels)

Age: 25-ish (wibbly wobbly timey wimey).

Zodiac: Nald’thal/Balance (Libra)

Languages: Hyur Common, old Sharlayan, Lominsan sign language, a few thieves’ cant variants.

 PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

Hair Colour: Jet black

Eye Colour: Right eye dark, nearly black. Left eye very pale with a milky pupil, looks blind.

Skin Tone: A warm-toned deep grey.

Body type: Small but has lean muscle, a bit of a swimmer’s or a dancer’s body. Androgynous, has a lot of curve to his hips/rear and his waist is tiny, but his shoulders are a bit broad for him to come off as strictly feminine.

Accent: Ul’dahn upper class accent. Sometimes the intonation shifts strangely …

Dominant hand: Ambidextrous but favours his right hand (and does all his writing with it).

Posture: Often found model-posing or lounging lazily.

Scars: A lightning scar over his left eye. The centre mass is on his left shoulder/chest area and the scar extends down his arm and side from there. It has no pigment, standing out in stark contrast against his deep skintone.

Tattoos: An upside-down teardrop on his forehead. Anything else is hidden.  

Most noticeable features: The scar on his face and the pale eye that goes with it. The white constellation flecks of fur on his tail. His very long mass of wavy hair.

 CHILDHOOD.

Place of birth: The Black Shroud.

Hometown: A secret.

Birth weight/height: Whatever is normal.

Manner of birth: The usual way.

First words: Something like ‘ma’.

Siblings: None.

Parents: Recently adopted by an Ul’dahn noble (Lady Camilla Wimborne) to gain Ul’dah’s citizenship. Birth mother unknown.

Parental involvement: He was orphaned at a young age and adopted by someone who later vanished/died. His current family arrangement was born out of necessity (and a bit of con artistry gone wrong) but he cares for Camilla and has tea with her regularly.

 ADULT LIFE

Occupation: Fortune teller, broken seer, flame-lover, con artist, reformed thief (who keeps relapsing), socialite, fashion critic, acolyte of the Order of Nald’thal, mimic octopus, fate-fucker (curses anyone?)

Current residence: Ul’dah, the Gold Court. Never seems to be home, though …

Close friends: Busy pretending he doesn’t have any.

Relationship status: It’s Complicated (too busy repressing to have discussed his relationship status with anyone). If one listens to Ul’dahn gossip, he’s rumoured to be found on the arm of a Priestess of the Order lately.

Financial Status: Poor. His savings involve things he doesn’t know how to liquidate and he’s unwilling to accept financial aid from his adoptive mother.  

Vices: Drugs (currently recovering from a somnus addiction and hasn’t touched any drugs). Alcohol. Causing trouble. Getting even.

 SEX & ROMANCE.

Sexual orientation: Pan.

Romantic orientation: Demi.

Preferred emotional role:  submissive | dominant | switch |  unsure

Preferred sexual role:  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch |  sex repulsed

Libido: Average to low. His chronic pain tends to be a boner killer sometimes.

Turn on’s: Strong personalities, clever minds and quick tongues, people with a mutual interest in causing some light trouble, bit of blood play, a sting of pain, tying up bigger men (it’s a catharsis thing), roughhousing, feeling connected, getting treated as something more than another notch on the bedpost.

Turn off’s: Uninspired attempts to pick him up from people he barely knows, rampant stupidity, overtly childish behaviour, people only wanting to sleep with him because he’s convenient at the time.

Love language: Bad at expressing his interest verbally. Unlikely to catch onto the fact that he IS in love. Might violate boundaries with stalker-like behaviour because he wants to know things about the person he’s interested in so he will dig through paperwork and ask around about them. Brings gifts in the form of dessert or something else he thinks the other person might be interested in. Prefers presents that were acquired through some ordeal rather than simply bought (might steal a painting if he thinks you’ll like it).

Relationship Tendencies: Again, distinct lack of boundaries might emerge if he ever gets close to someone. He thinks it’s fine to borrow your clothes. And show up at your home. And eat your food. And possibly harass you at your place of work. Yet he’s likely to get squirrely and weird at physical contact if he wasn’t ready for it. He also hesitates to sleep in the same bed with anyone. He can be very hot and cold and doesn’t like discussing his relationship status. Has Unresolved Issues.

 MISCELLANEOUS.

Hobbies to pass the time: Gathering information even when he has no reason to. Gossip. Parkouring over rooftops after dark. Stargazing. Trying to develop new curses. Boredly adjusting arcanima geometries to suit his adapted astrology rituals. Judging your outfit.

Mental illnesses: PTSD.

Physical illnesses: Chronic pain.

Left or right brained: Left-ish.

Fears: Death, being found out, his past catching up, going to hell, lightning bolts, sometimes the ocean, dealing with his own emotions. Ghosts, probably.

Self-confidence level: Low but tends to act like it’s high.

Vulnerabilities: Trust issues (either trusts someone blindly, or more often doesn’t trust anyone at all). Presumed nerve damage on his left side, chronic pain acts up on that side and makes his hand unreliable. About 90% blind in his left eye. Sensitive to sudden bright lights to due Keeper vision. Overheats easily during hot daylight hours if caught in the sun. Fucked up, fractured aetheric pattern that leaves him open to various magical effects. Perpetually leans towards astral fire. Probably cursed.

Tagged by: @mischiefandmystics (thank you for the tag! sorry for the late post on this asdgfh)

Tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT