#( and no I am not being sponsored lmao )

[sofiaruelle]

Missed out on doing art studies last Sunday. So making up for it by making measurement diagrams for the class module. 😂

[akkivee]

saw a suggestion that said their duet is going to be a high stakes chase because juto’s going to have to arrest rei and lmao

[natailiatulls07]

It's giving old money

Oscar Piastri x British!Countess!reader

Summary - Oscar and his self conscious girlfriend, who is also a British countess, slowly soft launch their very private relationship however another certain Brit speeds up that process

Warning - swearing, Y/n is self conscious??

Faceclaim - Lila Moss

-

yourusername

Nights in Monte Carlo x

Liked by friendsusername and 124,674 others

Limited comments

friendsusername Hun we need to do this more often!

= yourusername Oh of course babe

username So jealous of her lifestyleee

username Imagine being her I wishhh

ilovey/nwithmyhearttt

Y/n is at Wimbledon with her friend! I love the blue dress and the natural look <3

Liked by username and 58,739 others

username She's too gorgeousss omfggg

username Can we take a moment for the dress!

username Where is that dress frommm?? It's a fucking need!

= username I think it's Ralph Lauren

= username Thank yewww

Load more comments

oscarpiastri

A couple of days in London between gps

Liked by aussiegrit and 173,593 others

username Is this post sponsored by Ralph Lauren???

username Wait I recognize that dog, whats going on?!

username Oscar Pastry who is that?

landonorris Be safe bro emoji

= oscarpiastri Thanks mate lol

username It's giving old money

= username it's giving richhh

Load more comments

yourusername posted a story

username Y/n's new story of Archie, my heartttt

username Ikrr I want to kidnap it LMAO

username Wait Archie looks a lot like the dog in Oscar Piastri's recent instagram post, am I tripping??

username Gurl calm down, I doubt it. They are worlds away from eachother lol

username Yeah I agree, Y/n is too stuck up to make friends with anyone outside her countess/count social circle

yourusername

Let's go racing x

Liked by mclaren and 166,289 others

Limited comments

username This is new...

username My multiverse of madness!

mclaren Your welcome anytime <3

= yourusername I had the best time, thank you

username Okayyy so anyone wanna say something to me?? :|

username Look okay I'm sorry, maybe you did have an inkling

username Now that I look at it, the dog does very similarrr

username IKRR I think her and Oscar would be cute together lol

username They'd be the perfect old money couple nglll

oscarpiastri posted a story

yourusername

Thank you Melbourne, you're the best x

Liked by oscarpiastri and 178,484 others

Limited comments

username Melbourne? thats random...

username Is this a soft launch????

username Oscar Piastri in the likes, Y/n in Melbourne...where Oscar also is, is Y/n and Oscar soft launching? :3

username Ummm Y/n??

oscarpiastri

Days down in the water with my loved ones are my favourite

Liked by yourusername and 183,864 others

username Blonde hair + Melbourne + beach + Recent events + Y/n's like = Soft Lauch with Y/n L/n

= username Case closed! It has to be herrr

username I love summer break Oscar sm

logansargeant Always remember protectionnn

= oscarpiastri :|

username I need any more pleaseeee

username I mean they are making it very obviousss

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landonorris posted a story

Text (White: Oscar Orange: Lando)

Dude what the fuck

What?!

What you've done?! You've just fucking outed mine and Y/n's relationship!!

Ohhh shit sorry man I didn't think you could see her face in the story I'll delete it now

No don't worry, we're trending on twitter anyways

Yeah sorry Osc, how's Y/n doing?

She's very anxious rn, you know how she is with the publics opinion of her

Oh no maybe distance her from social media

Yeah, I've taken her phone off of her

Ofc sorry again man

Nah dw it was bond to happen

oscarpiastri

Yeah so me and this gorgeous women are dating. We want to keep it private and we hope you will respect our wishes <3

Tagged: yourusername

Liked by landonorris and 203,275 others

Comments have been turned off

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[innuendostudios]

by a wide margin the weirdest video essay I've ever release: List of Songs that Represent "Smart Music" Ranked from Most to Least Appropriate to Put in a Video Essay

this video is sponsored by Nebula, where you can watch ad-free and (sometimes, slightly) better edited versions of my videos for 40% off an annual subscription. just follow this link.

as a quick note: YouTube has already demonetized this video, as two different corporations are claiming copyright on recordings they do not own the copyright to - both are Creative Commons recordings of public domain music, that, in one case, YouTube has misidentified as a different recording, and, in the other, YouTube has the music in its database as under copyright despite it being having been released under CC BY-SA 3.0. I am disputing these false claims and will (hopefully) get whatever money I am owed, but, for now, YouTube is not paying me a dime for this.

so it would be a bigger help than usual if you would either watch the video on Nebula or back me on Patreon.

thanks. transcript below the cut!

List of Songs That Represent “Smart Music” Ranked From Most To Least Appropriate To Put In A Video Essay (And Presented In Drill Bit Order).

1. Clair de Lune, Debussy

This has been top dog ever since the teaser for Godzilla: King of the Monsters, and cemented its position against challengers with a showcase in Everything Everywhere All at Once. Said film could have been the shark-jumping moment where the song was irretrievably lost to irony, given directors Kwan and Scheinert (Daniels)’s style mercilessly marries the aesthetics of prestige and shitpost. Yes, despite its silliness, EEAAO is achingly sincere, but could the general public be trusted to recognize that? But then it won Best Picture, so apparently yes! Beautiful, delicate, to score a film or video with Clair de Lune signals a desire to be seen not only as an intellectual, but as an aesthete. The song could lose potency if the Clair de Lune sequence were parodied enough, but how does one parody EEAAO???

9. Gymnopedie No. 1, Satie

I fear we must, as a society, and as a community of video essayists, move on from Gymnopedie No. 1. It held the title longer than, I think, any champion previous, and for that it deserves merit. But its time is over. It is, like the phrase “mad dated,” mad dated. It is saying “lmao” out loud. Did you know the original screenplay for 2005 film The Island specifically stated that, in the weird culty enclave in which the film opens, Gymnopedie No. 1 must be playing over the loudspeaker? I don’t think Michael Bay followed that directive (I’m not rewatching the movie to find out), but that is how long this was the “Smart Music” song - since 5 months after YouTube launched. If you must - absolutely must - put Satie in a video essay, use Gnossienne No. 1, though it too is on its way to passe. At this point I’m prepared to say Vexations or GTFO.

2. Ave Maria, Schubert/Liszt

Nothing was certain after Satie vacated the throne, and for a while it seemed we might have a Starks vs. Baratheons situation between Schubert and Debussy. Following several appearances in pretentious YouTube videos, the Ave Maria made its strongest showing yet by scoring the opening scene of the grimdarkest Batman film so far, an entire twenty days before getting fully Lannister’d by Everything Everywhere All at Once. Unbowed, unbent, and unbroken, still she nips at the heels of the king, and may yet take his place. No one else poses a comparable threat. Hers is a curious strategy, being a religious, Christmas, and even classic Disney standard now repurposed as “Smart Music;” she gets a big boost every December, but can she take the top spot before this cyclical exposure nudges her back into a prior niche?

8. Moonlight Sonata, Beethoven

If you were in a film program in the mid-2000s, you are sick to death of Moonlight Sonata. Also if you were in a music class where you were asked to determine a song’s time signature by ear - how am I supposed to tell the difference between waltz time and 4/4 with all triplets without the sheet music in front of me? To say scoring a video with Moonlight Sonata is a hack move - you’d have to be a hack to not already know! This was the soundtrack to the blind cave salamander level of Earthworm Jim 2, there’s no coming back from that! I mean, the association with Tallarico Studios alone… It’s done. Roll over, Beethoven.

3. Cello Suite No. 1 (Prelude), Bach

This one is firmly-rooted. It is not going anywhere, both in the sense that nothing could soon push it off the list but it’s hard to imagine rising any higher. It is just slightly too beautiful, too expressive, too legato to fall into the stiffness of Habanera or the pomposity of a De Beers ad, but just close enough to them in tone to always read as a hipper alternative. So you’ll never be overexposed, but never go that long without hearing the Yo-Yo Ma version. And so here it stays, third on the podium, solid bronze, the waterbender, the Plup; with you as always is Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1. (Frankly surprised it took us this long to get to Johann, but don’t worry - he’ll be Bach.)

7. Air on the G String, Bach/Wilhelmj

Told ya. It’s not that she isn’t a beautiful piece of music, and it’s not that she already had her time. In truth, she never got her flowers. Inasmuch as she had a run, it was squished between the omnipresences of Beethoven and Satie. You’ll still hear from her now and then; she crops up, like a lucky penny. And you’ll smile, every time, but you know the stars in your eyes are not present joy, but nostalgia. A fondness for what was and what could’ve been - what should have been. Why - why couldn’t this have had the legs of Gymnopedie? I mean, even the Fucking Champs version - could that have made a run? Could TikTok pick up on it? But comes the day you have to accept - if it was gonna happen, it would’ve happened by now. Air on the G String grows weary; let her rest.

4. Duo des Fleurs, Delibes

Bit of a dark horse, this one. Didn’t exactly come out of nowhere - it’s been here the whole time - but you didn’t see it coming! It’s like that time I went snorkeling, and I wondered, “Where are the fish?” I was told there would be tropical fish, but all I saw was blue. Then I caught one flitting by my head and, as soon my eyes registered the shape, I realized they were everywhere! I just hadn’t taken them in. This is the one that makes you ask, where did I hear that before? Was this the one at the end of Margaret? No! How did it go? How do I hum dyads? But then it shows up and, oh yeah, that’s the one! The really pretty one. I knew it’d come around again. Has staying power, could make a run for the top if it sees an opening, but seemingly content, for now, to dance around the periphery, appreciated when heard if only half-remembered the next day.

6. Prelude in E Minor Op. 28 No. 4, Chopin

The bottom end of acceptability. Anything lower, you must avoid. But you can use Prelude in E. It is a risk, and it takes skill. But you can use Prelude in E. It is not for the faint of heart. This is the ending of Fez we’re talking about here. This is that one TED Talk about how everyone loves classical music they just don’t know it yet. This was all over Anatomy of a Fall. Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer something lighter? Nocturne in E-flat [Op. 9 No. 2] is very nice. Prelude has just enough penetration that some people are going to recognize it, and enough clout that those who do are going to expect things of the person who puts it in a video essay. You can’t just throw this under a rant about The Snyder Cut. But you can - with care, with effort, and with grace - use Prelude in E.

5. Spiegel im Spiegel, Part

We are not ready for Spiegel im Spiegel. The rare “Smart Music” that is, rather than classical, contemporary minimalist. This is - I have been led to believe - all over the film festival circuit. It is the go-to for aspiring arthouse directors. So I assume it is only a matter of time until it reaches general cultural awareness. But we - the YouTube video essay community - are not, at this point in time, pretentious enough to pull off Spiegel im Spiegel. This is not a statement on the song: it is a lovely, sparse, and unpretentious piece of music, which is why pretentious people are drawn to it. And we are not there yet. But I believe in us.

POSTSCRIPTUM

The List of Songs that Represent “Smart Music” is not ranked by quality; they are all, as a baseline, masterpieces. They are ordered, instead, by their possession of antipodal qualities. Beethoven’s Fifth may be a beautiful piece but it’s too well-known - to the casual listener, it reads only as “classical music.” Vltava is a beautiful piece, but it’s not recognizable enough - to most, it will read only as “music.” Pachelbel’s Canon works in too many contexts. Mozart’s Lacrimosa no longer works in any context but “Shit’s About To Go Off.” The Song that Represents “Smart Music” must balance these humors: suggestive, but not too specific; recognizable, but not overfamiliar. The kind of thing one imagines cultured people listen to, and fancies oneself cultured for having noticed it. Just popular enough to signify obscurity to a large number of people.

This impossibility of being both popular and obscure is what keeps the list in motion. Many songs drift back into obscurity before reaching the top, but, once in the primary position, a song begins its slow procession to overexposure. And when, at last, it is too popular to be niche, it does not slip to number 2; it plummets to the bottom, as did Icarus.

Due to this slow but constant movement, new songs will, at intervals, join the ranks, taking the place of those that became gauche. And if, dear listener, you were aiming to trendset, to score your next whatever-it-is-you-do with the newest Song to Represent “Smart Music,” and were I a gambling man… Bach’s Prelude in C. And I’ll tell you why: it appears in the Netflix series Bodies alongside Chopin (#6), mirroring Satie’s dual appearance in The Queen’s Gambit (#9); its arpeggiated structure makes it usable in scenarios similar to the Cello Suite (#3) (Johann did love him some broken chords); and it forms the basis of the Gounod version of Ave Maria, if you would like a Cool Person’s Alternative to Schubert (#2). You may feel I’m playing too safe, but I tell you truly: this song is due. But if I can impart one piece of wisdom let it be this: whatever you do, whoever you are, you cannot use Fur Elise. You cannot. You can’t do it. It can’t be allowed. Don’t fu-

[radley-writes]

A lot of the criticism of Nano is getting very Piss On The Poor.... they flat-out did not say a lot of what they are being accused of saying. They said that categorical damnation of generative AI has some classist and ableist undertones, which I agree with only because we live in an ableist and classist society, and therefore, those undertones will be present in damn near any large debate.

But.

This is about the context. For Nanowrimo to try to shut down:

criticisms of generative AI in creative spaces

writers' very real and valid concerns for their future livelihoods (we've already seen the massive negative impact generative AI is having on indie writers, cover designers, etc.!)

larger environmental concerns (generating text doesn't use too much energy, but generating a single image with AI takes as much power as fully charging your smartphone... and if you support one sort of generative AI in creative spaces without explicitly condemning others, of course it's going to be taken as a general promotion!)

with accusations of classism and ableism...

Especially when so many writers are disabled, poor, and have specifically created communities and adjusted their goals because of this lack of privilege... Especially when those writers are now worried about the impact AI will have on these support networks... Especially when Nano is being sponsored by an AI writing company....

To say nothing of them trying to tone-police criticism and demanding that people obey their site rules on other sites such as Tumblr...

It smacks of using the language of social justice to hurt the very people who they are claiming to support.

To address the ableism accusation: Yes, some people cannot write. That's okay. I am disabled and could not ever hope to run 100m, let alone a marathon. This is a thing I Cannot Do Due To Disability - y'know, on account of disabilities being disabling and all. Still, I wouldn't dream of saying that me being driven 100m in a car is the same as running a sprint, and insist on being included in a sprinting competition? It's an entirely different thing - and that is okay to acknowledge. Pretending that driving 100m is the exact same as running just because the person in the car is disabled, is really fucking patronizing. And I honestly don't believe any of the disabled people Nano is talking about are claiming that having AI write your novel is the same as writing it yourself - so let's not make this about any such accusations. This is about disabled people being used, once again, as a feel-good marketing tool, rather than groups like NaNo actually giving a shit about us, lmao.

Nanowrimo is placing themselves on a side in a far larger cultural argument, whether this was their original intention or otherwise. And I think the vast, vast majority of creative people will agree that they're on the wrong one.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

The Sides Are Dorks, Part 389534

I was wondering why the Sanders Sides tag was trending earlier, and then I saw. the Video. Anyway, here's my thoughts while watching the new vid (in list format) bc I haven't done this in a while.

[it's gonna be LONG knowing me]

"I would never be caught dead in a bowtie" *cuts to when Janus literally wore a bowtie in canon*

"yeah and I deserve it" -> ha mood

"Wrong, I ate an entire bottle of melatonin gummies" -> Patton. Patton, no.

"I could switch to green tea, and I'll still be a bitch!" -> also mood

hey. hey why you do that. why would you say that. (aka: Roman is offended by the mustache comparison)

"Where is my ruler" -> PLEASE it'd be so fucking funny

Virgil really be like "WRONG! I use the tildas you faker" (/j) (/lh)

Patton starts listing off every appliance that has heat stuff and I cannot. I CANNOT--

^and then there's the fridge. what did Fridge ever do to you? where's the lorreee

"wholesome friendship" // "how many holes we talkin'" -> yeah that makes sense

"No, he's just not worth an attack" -> Logan sounds like he's thought about this before

Roman Unscrews Imaginary Lightbulb, reaction is a family-friendly version of "Listen here, you little shit"

"get him" -> Virgil hates that Anxiety so much

Emile Picani Joins the Ranks of Rat Man by Sleeping in the Buff. it's canon now.

"It's no one's business what bites me" -> Janus. Janus, the implications. Janus--

Patton reveals Logan's secret: Love for Donuts, feat. wiggly fingers

"Which is rude...because I am not young" -> also Sheldon is missing The Tie, which is essential for Serious Smart People (I guess)

Roman likes My Little Pony

"No, I didn't--" // "He did!" // "He definitely did." -> LMAO the Others confirming that Virgil had a meme phase

Ah yes: The Sponsor Section

Patton being like "some cookies are bad??" is funny to me lol

"--vaccuums" // "No" // "ignore that last one" -> goddamnit Patton (/pos)

"There sneaky people out there" *cuts to Janus*

Roman loves Barbie movies. Barbie Movie? whatever, he likes Barbie

"war against the evil cookies" // "wait--" -> haha. this is why I believe in Intruality so much

"I dropped another laptop in the toliet" -> another one?

conclusion: Patton and Remus are both accident-prone. an Intruality win. also they interacted for like, 2 seconds. another Intruality win

Sponsor Ends!

"ACTUALLY it was four times. bitch." (Sleep, basically)

okay but like. when the glasses are on the head, it's like they're invisible. I say as someone who loses their glasses, only to find them in stupidly obvious places. also mood

Virgil DEFINITELTY watched Patton do this for five minutes before he said anything

Roman is in love with his sword, Exhibit D

^(D is for--)

Logititties. that's all

Janus really said "wanna go, bitch?"

also: "I wouldn't be caught dead in a fish fight. I would poison you" -> ah, of course, a snake with style (/j)

"calculator is computer" // "that's technically correct, actually" -> where's the Logicality enjoyers when you need them

Roman Rage Quits at Roblox. also Insecurity

"bitch, I'm not that out there" -> this helps deduce the scale of What The Fuck Is Remus's Normal At

"True...or is it false?" -> he loves fucking with people, doesn't he?

"yeah" -> he sounds so resigned, nooo :(

Endcard Moment: Logan loves jelly-filled donuts

and that's it, folks! This was lovely. Silly gay personality traits.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Checked out the last couple chapters of My Hero Academia bc i was curious how it ended

-I actually thought the chapter with Ochaco going to cry and Deku following her to comfort and telling her she's his hero and has been from the beginning and saying she's always put her needs before others but she deserves support too was EXTREMELY sweet. like awwww. such sweet kids. Especially when the whole class ran up to her and Tsuyu tackle hugged her what!!! i'm glad the manga still has that sweetness in it, despite all the other faults, I think it looks like it did carry through the importance of friendship and supporting each other here.

-Ochaco spearheading an effort to give kids counseling about their quirks and any mental health issues they might be having regarding them, expanding the hero role beyond just crime-fighting (with Momo and Tsuyu and Iida), is also actually incredibly sweet and in-character too. It's actually surprising to not see her get shafted, considering how incredibly shafted she was in the parts I watched

i can't believe Ochaco has a dead gf now (joking)

-did...did momo actually get a decent costume where she doesn't have to be walking fanservice in a way she's uncomfortable with at the literal last minute when we can't even fully see it?

she-she did didn't she. She gets sexualized to hell and back as a teen when it's super unsettling and gets to wear a not stupid looking outfit as an adult when it would be less so. I mean I'm glad I guess but the fact Horikoshi just decided to do that in her last couple panels where it doesn't matter anymore really speaks to having your cake and eating it too huh

-I am shocked Ochaco and Deku don't seem to have gotten together in the end when horikoshi was setting her as a love interest so hard. Though it might be because it really seemed like the last chapter was leaving things open for a sequel (we'll never be free) or maybe Horikoshi didn't want to upset any shippers, wise of him. But it lets me imagine she hooked up with Tsuyu. or maybe both her and momo (i guess iida's there too) who knows.

-I guess Deku lost his quirk again during the battle and then All Might gives him tech the tech girl came up (with Bakugou sponsoring it. i guess that's fine. as his penance) that i guess gives him the advantages of a quirk so it doesn't matter actually. I mean I have been wondering why he and others never just got to use tech to compensate so i guess that's fine, but the sacrifice he apparently made was seemingly meaningless lmao

-I like that MHA was apparently wasted all this time with the villains backstory and how they could be redeemed and how society had failed them then apparently just killed ALL of them at the end? how completely pointless, it's actually extremely funny.

-"Kirishima is popular with the male demographic" yeah i bet he is.

-:/ all the short haired girls have longer hair as adults while everyone else looks largely the same. wow convenient.

-did endeavor die? wait let me check.sigh of course he's alive, but i it appears dabi beat him up so bad he can't stand up on his own (good 4 u dabi) and he's retired i guess that's something. Even dabi is dying slowly horikoshi really could not let a single villain survive lmao

-I do not know why Deku needed to tells that kid that his quirk of creating little flying saucer disks could absolutely be useful as hero if he trains like...obviously it would be? That's a pretty good power? but i guess it's a sweet callback, and I also like that he's a teacher, I think he would be good at that.

-my mind would likely change if I read the nonsense leading up to this. but it wasn't that bad as a final chapter overall, though weirdly low key. definitely comes off as being as ambiguous as possible for the sake of a sequel. at least it wasn't one where we have to follow the child characters who are conveniently carbon copies of their parents. I have closure now.

[one-vivid-judgment]

Joongi: It's been so long, Kasuga-san, but I am finally here and I will gladly help out your group if you'll have me 😊

Ichi: Dude what's your fit, aren't you sweating your ass off? 

Tomi: Jesus Christ it's killing me looking at this guy

Chi-chan: ... You good, man?

Adachi: LMAO what are you, sponsoring a trash bag company or what? 

MY MAN'S BEEN IN THE PARTY FOR TWO MINUTES AND HE'S ALREADY BEING ROASTED TO HELL 😭😭

[themultifanshipper]

Sorry for creeping on your Lando posts. I love another person who can understand nuance. Lol

Things are rarely black and white. I can be upset with Lando for saying that, while at the same time acknowledging he was placed in an impossible situation by his boss, was on the high of his first win, and was most certainly told not to say anything negative about him. I also understand his thought process of “a former president, an office that is held in high regard, said some stuff to me, that’s an honor I guess.”

I don’t agree at all. I would never say anything close to that. But I’m also not in front of the world at a press conference in Tr*mp’s home state (one of the most right wing in America, I’d argue). With sponsors breathing down my neck.

Like, I am grossed out, and hate that he made such an awful comment, as throwaway as it was. But I’m also able to imagine how that situation and question placed him in a position that no matter what he said would upset someone and went with what pr probably coached him to say. 🙄

I dunno. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m a huge Lando fan, which I acknowledge can make me biased. But I need to point out that I’m also an asexual queer non binary person so it’s not like I’m a straight white girl thirsting over him. No shade intended to those that fit that description, I only bring it up because the label “Lando fangirls” is being used to describe the people defending him. And I resent being misgendered like that. That’s a whole other issue though. Lmao

Thank you for reading this word vomit. Speaking of vomit- I want to physically throw up thinking about what he said. 🤦‍♀️ Why did fuxking Zak Brown have to do that. Hate that guy.

Okay sorry for this entire message. 🙃

No worries, I love reading rants lmao, also I did make the point in a previous post about florida that if he had told Donald (gonna call him donald now it's hilarious) to fuck off there would have been riots. Lmao

[magpiemalarkey]

Been talking a lot about writing tools and sites here because of the news about NaNoWriMo picking up a terrible sponsor! Here's some more! I'm not sure there's any one program/app/site/tool/method that has ever worked for me consistently. I'm just sort of always looking for new tools to add to my collection, I guess. Here's a couple I've used at some point and will probably return to in the future.

750 Words : Recently moved to a 2.0 version. It's geared a little bit towards people that might use this for freewriting or journaling, but I've used it during a few different nanowrimos! 750 words is the number you have to reach for it to give you "full credit" for writing that day and I found that to be a decent chunk of writing without being overwhelming. It's very private, and it has some interesting metrics which can be fun to look at and some badges for achievements, lmao, but is otherwise a very stripped back experience, which can help if you need to avoid distractions. The new website is not as clear about this as the old, but this site does run on a subscription of $5/month or $50/year. (I was grandfathered in on the old version and never had to pay the subscription. Not sure if that will carry over to the new one) You do get a 30 day free trial to try it out though!

StimuWrite: This is a sort of word-processor program you can buy on itch.io. (Well, the base program is name your own price/free and some of the add-ons are like $2. It works on windows, mac, and linux!). It is like the polar opposite of 750 Words in terms of experience. 750 is stripped back and simple. StimuWrite is designed for folks with ADHD or other people whose brains cannot focus unless there is outside stimuli! There are visual themes and background colors to mess with! There's a soundscape! Do you like cafe background noises? They have that! Want to pretend you are writing on a beach? There's ocean noises! Need noises to happen when you type? You can have Ye Olde Typewriter Noises! Or bubbles! Or scribbling noises! Not enough stimuli? You can also have streams of emojis flutter up on the sides as you type! The more you type the more they go! These can all be turned on and off and adjusted to get just the right combo. Plus there are some additional themes and add-ons you can buy. I am partial to the clacky typewriter noises and sparkle emojis. It also functions as a word counter and let's you set a word goal (and will do a big splash of emojis for you when you hit that goal if you set that option lmao) Other than that, it does not have many word program functions, but you can always copy and paste your work into a fancier program to edit and format it. (which you may want to do anyway because it doesn't really have a save or load function, just an export function)

[sorcerous-caress]

You’re so right dude. Imagine a Halfling and a Human get together and they’re besties they’re bros who just happen to have friendly cuddly sex and then they create a porno together lmao.

They upload it expecting like very minimal engagement and suddenly it blows up. I think it’s because of the versatility in both of their races. A halfling that tugs their human partner’s hair and tells them how they want to be eaten out or fucked or strapped then can also be a moaning mess within the next video.

A human who speaks seductively and charms the halfling can also be put on their back holding onto the blankets for dear life. They can be tender, soft touches and tickles. They can do roleplay: a hurt human who needs the mommy/daddy halfling to be nursed back into shape. A human friend who coaxes the other into their lap. They can go hard and sadistic.

Can you imagine the sponsors/donations/subscribers they would get!?

A noble elf who wants to be in the middle of that. A voyer who wants to watch the debauchery. Who wants to be the director. A soldier orc or a dragon born who wants both of them on their cock/strap. A demon or a fiend whose trying so hard to get them into a pact.

Same braincells! You’re a genius dude aldjaka. Sorry for me rambling, you can send me back to horny jail.

Off topic but I really like how we are embracing the "onlyfans" and porn streamers with donations type of content in smut. Because you know most written smut and novels still refuse to acknowledge the current culture and technology developments.

Like maybe sending each other dirty pics was something hot and risky before, but in today standards if it's not a frisky discord calls or timer-delete nudes then it just feels...out of touch with the current technology you know? Sex toys that sync up to apps exist and are very common today, and so are the many streaming sites and Twitter porn accounts.

So when a smut novel comes and it's supposed to be set in the modern age with our current technology but they make them use their phones only to what, sext or send a nude during work? It comes off as very tame in comparison to what technology is capable of today and how well it mixes with sexual stuff.

The trends in kinks change too, like before it was all about matching underwear and spanking, but today it's all about gooner stuff, mindbreak and oral. Back a few years ago, there was this obsession with squirting, then the pee fact came out, and everyone let it die slowly.

For example, if you wanted to tell how old the person who wrote a smut piece is, just find out how the smut treats anal. Younger adult generations are more chill with it as a normal everyday thing, while millennials treat it as something that hurts, but they'll still do it, and boomers think it's something more extreme than literal whipping bdsm.

Younger adults smut these days are more inspired by hentai mixed with unrealisticly thick pop star beauty standards, while Millennials had this weird porn phase where they pretended their porn was superior to everyone else's by making it classy? You know those black and white gifs and the really skinny boddies. That's why there is a push these days to present the porn as shameless in every possible way, it's a cycle and the generation after us will look at our trends with disgust and take a more "classy" approach and claim their porn is better.

Also it makes me wonder if people in 1800 also wrote stories like this but about being a show girl or something similar. They definitely did. Weren't there like sexting hotlines back when phones first became a thing where people would call a number and talk dirty to someone? Porn is always evolving my man.

Don't ask why I know so much about porn trends and history, that is none of your business I am well adjusted.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Demons and porn are very interesting in dnd! It depends on how you view demons really, but for me I like to imagine that every sin they commit is pushed to the extreme.

So "shameless casual sex" is right up their alley, and you know who shares the same view but for different reasons? The halflings who see it just a casual bodily need between friends. Like yes you can be lovers but it's not necessary.

It is funny to imagine a bundle of sunshine and a literal fiend of hell having something in common, but they do.

The human is just going to their friends with benefits house, a cute little hafling with the most adorable riverside cottage sorrounded by berry bushes.

Smell of applepie baking in the oven is in the air, their hafling friend no doubtly is inside and the human opens the door and steps in because they have a spare key.

Only to be met with fucking asmodeus the arch-devil sitting on a wooden stool and sipping tea in a ceramic floral cup with strawberry prints on it. The devil from the fucking hells just waves at you while your halfling friend explains how asmo came here because they are such a huge fan of the videos you made and wanted to personally extend compliments.

Just the idea of great beings being so enamoured with the little human and their little friend hafling. A grway is ancient dragon leaving piles upon piles of gold and gems on your doorway each morning as their way to pay for your onlyfans subscription since the dragon doesn't have a credit card.

An angel shooting down from the literal heavens and breaking through the cottage wooden roof, rings of fire and 8 wings and all. Just to deliver their fanletter they wrote for you and the hafling, also a smuty fanart they drew. All 600 eyes looking away all shy and frustrated as they ask you to sign a framed picture they have of one of their favourite scenes.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Thinking about the political situation wrt the overlords because there is just SO MUCH HAPPENING.

The meeting being called to get the overlords to work together against a common threat.

Vox implying that Carmilla, who is hugely powerful and influential as the weapons dealer, has a habit of ghosting him but that he's still dependent on her.

Vox getting brutally and very publicly humiliated by another overlord lmao

Velvette calling out Carmilla, Zestial, and the other "old" overlords for being afraid of a war, which should've netted her points with the more bloodthirsty overlords—

—EXCEPT that she also insulted every single other overlord TO THEIR FACES, calling them weak and cowardly, which definitely pissed off the demons who would've been on her side otherwise.

And also insulting Carmilla, who we already know Vox is trying to make a business deal with. Velvette either doesn't know about that, doesn't care, or (most likely) she's so overconfident in herself that she doesn't think there'll be any significant consequences for burning that particular bridge.

(Do the Vees have ANY other allies? Or is it just the three of them, all of them too proud and convinced of their own greatness that they actively refuse to play nice with potential allies? Hmm.)

Then there's the weird temporary alliance between Alastor, Charlie, Rosie, and Carmilla which resulted in an extermination being CANCELLED.

Alastor getting his ass kicked extremely publicly because you KNOW Vox was broadcasting that shit.

The Vees apparently deciding to make a bid for the top in Alastor's absence?

Which is probably a stupid fucking idea because it was three of the "old-fashioned" and "outdated" overlords that they were mocking who actually handled the angels, with open and public support from THE KING OF HELL.

And finally, the social and political ramifications of Alastor's return. It could go either way, with him taking a massive blow to his reputation for the loss vs the other demons fearing and respecting him even more for actually surviving a direct attack from the lead exterminator himself. Probably a mix of both.

Idk how much the rest of the show will get into the actual politics of Hell but I am OBSESSED with it. I like the idea of Lucifer and Alastor splitting responsibilities as sponsors of the hotel, with Lucifer focused on the impending politics with Heaven and Alastor focused on the Hell aspect. Maybe some things about Alastor helping Charlie situate herself in Hell's politics, forming more official alliances with Carmilla and Rosie and building up her reputation as a demon to be respected instead of a joke to laugh at? Hmmmmmm.

[serve-cunt]

HELLO HOW DO I GET INTO TENNIS HOW DOES IT WORK

context: i read your landoscar tennis fic and thought “oh. OH. This is GREAT. now i wanna get into tennis but oh fuck, new interest scary.” and now im conflicted because i have been scrolling through your blog and this seems like a very fun and sexy sport to be a fan of but also How the Fuck does it work? like what’s the main objective, what’s everyone trying to do? im already a huge f1 fan, and i know the point there is to win grand prix’s and eventually a world championship, but is there a tennis equivalent to that? is it to win Wimbledon? or the Australian Open? Or the US open? WHAT EVEN IS A OPEN. I AM LOSING MY MIND. and like how do you play tennis? how to be a good tennis player, what are the defining characteristics? what the fuck is a drop shot and why is a man named jannik not allowed to do them or else you will get a heart attack? speaking of which, jannik sinner has floofy hair and baby girl vibes and a friendship with slightly homosexual undertones with Carlos altracatz and i WANT to know more about them but like AAAA and i also feel like tennis is harder to understand because it’s not as easily categorised as f1? idk if it makes sense but there’s only 20 f1 drivers and one championship and one aim, but i feel like tennis is SO much wider and there are so many levels and it’s HARD TO UNDERSTAND…… so if someone could give me a basic breakdown of how tennis works and how to be a tennis fan? that would be great? or like… point me in the direction of something that will explain it? because i can feel a new obsession coming on but also AAA CONFUSION?.?. PLEASE I AM BEGGING SOMEONE HELP, please explain the basics. i am so sorry about the rant. have a good day <3. i am in tears of confusion

ANON my GOD I think this is the best ask I've ever received ... you have SO many questions and I have SO many thoughts, thank you so much for trusting me with this I will do my best & then I'll link some tennis blogs

"What's everyone trying to do"

LMAOOO okay this is actually such a fun question and multi-layered

— so if you asked a tennis player I think most of them would give a small-ish goal (relative to their experience. lol)  like some of them are sooOOOoo boring and would just say "I take it one match at a time" blah blah, some players (ons jabeur my beloved) are transparent about wanting to win big tournaments, some players are close enough to being number one in the world that they are allowed to say "I want to be number one in the world" lmao. Being #1 is determined by ranking points btw!! which you earn by winning matches at tournaments on the ATP (men's) or WTA (women's) tour. Each round at a tournament earns you more points, i.e. if you get to the semi-finals you earn more ranking points than if you only get to the round of 16.

— wow that was too many words for a bullet point but basically: if you're good enough, you want to be #1 in the world by ranking points. There are also other goals like: win all majors in a single year (a "grand slam"), win the MOST majors compared to anyone else (djokovic holds the record currently at 24), etc.

"okay so what is a major??"

(sorry slightly rephrasing your q: what is an open — we'll get there — also sorry it's getting jargony)

— ATP/WTA tournaments happen at different levels, which affects how many ranking points are earned and how much money you get in prizes. At an ATP 250 you win 250 points for winning the final, at an ATP 500 you get 500, etc. At the Grand Slam tournaments you get 2000 (!!) points and, like, SOOooooo much money for winning. 

— There are four Grand Slam tournaments: in chronological order you've got the Australian Open (January), the French Open (also called Roland-Garros, it happens in May/June), Wimbledon (July), and the US Open (August/September). 

— "Open" means that the competition is open to professionals and amateurs, so a lot of the tournaments are called [name of city] open or [name of sponsor] open

AO and USO happen on hard court

Wimbledon is on grass

French is on clay

okay that's all boring facts but here's where it gets fun (2 meeee)

^ Wimbledon is ✨ SACRED✨. it has a bunch of strange/archaic rules that are taken very seriously (players have to wear white, silence during play is ENFORCED in capital letters, etc) and its history is vaunted & special ! as a result there is a lot of weight to winning wimbledon for a lot of people, like wimbledon is special even amongst tennis players. it's the only grass major and the grass season is SHORT so you have to find your feet real damn fast. of course there's some backlash to the weird mystical atmosphere of wimbledon which is also fun to watch .. kyrgios being an smarmy asshole about it and (maybe?) getting fined for example .. but honestly it's rightfully criticised for being a stick in the proverbial mud,,  speaking of mud ... 

^ the French Open is ✨BEAUTIFUL✨. it's a clay tournament, which means play is slower, and just .. the look of clay ... idk it punches me in the chest tbh not sure why. players slide around and get dirty and it's all so fun & lovely & GORG . clay season is my personal favorite season

^ the US Open is ✨FUN✨. it's in New York City (ayyyyyyooo) and the crowd is ROWDY in a way that is truly unparalleled, you can't beat the atmosphere for party-esque but some players (a lot of players) haaaaaAAaate it. Some people love it tho, Serena always loved it, Coco fricken adored it (helps if you're american LOL)

^ the Australian Open is .. uh, hm. Happy? tbh I miss most of the AO every year because it's in an exactly opposite time zone from me. it's like a warm-up slam. LOL SORRY. somebody can correct me if they feel strongly ... >.>  it's also called the happy slam, it has a huge turn out every year so it must be fun!! play is very quick. jannik won this year :)))))))))))

"What's a drop shot"

— SooooOOO now we're getting into actual play jargon ... basically different shots have different names, forehand is when you hit a ball with the palm of your dominant hand facing forward, backhand is when your palm faces your chest ... I won't describe every shot because probs a video is more helpful for that? but:

— a drop shot is a ball hit so that it drops very close to the net on your opponent's side. basically if your opponent is waaaaay at the back of the court (maybe you've been rallying for a while and they got comfy) you can try and hit a ball short so that they can't get to it before it bounces twice. it's risky!!! if you attempt a drop shot you're probably pretty close to the net: if your opponent DOES get to it and hit it back, they're probably going to hit it behind you, and you won't have time to run behind it to get a racket under it.

"what are the defining characteristics of a good player"

— WOOF. okay. speed, for sure. but fast-twitch speed: can you get to the ball quickly? can you react to where it lands on the court and how it pops up? once you've hit it, can you get back into position before it comes back to you two seconds later? if you're up close to the net because you attempted a drop shot and your opponent gets to the ball & hits it behind you, can you back up real fast and attempt a "tweener" (when you hit a ball backwards through your legs) ? etc. You have to do a lot of movement around a small-ish space quickly, tennis players do a lot of short, high-intensity practices to prepare — athleticism!! tennis is an all-body sport:  do you have the lungs to keep running for a three hour match? do you have the leg strength to keep you jumping around that long? do you have the shoulders for a strong serve, arms for big ground-strokes?  (tennis players are fucking HOT lmao)

— creativity ! you can have the best arms ever and still lose because you play the same shot over and over and over and over and over and your opponent learns this and hits something that throws you off your rhythm. The best players (and most interesting to watch) can play far from or close to the net, are trying new things, are HAVING FUN (carlos alcaraz e.g.) 

— elegance ... idk some players just float .. they do all of the above but make it look so EASY

"there are only 20 drivers in f1 and there are so many tennis players HOW"

— no, valid. basically this tumblr post about how every so often there's a new tennis guy and I'm like "wait, who?" . I think everyone on tennisblr picks their faves and follows them closely, and then depending on your level of interest you pick up other faves along the way??  I got into tennis in the federer/nadal era so I'm a federer girl, in the WTA I'm smitten for serena (who isn't) with almost equal soft spots for Naomi Osaka and Ash Barty. Nowadays I follow jannik sinner like i'm a dog who's found a weird lanky carrot-flavored bone. i follow alcaraz because he's beautiful to watch, truuuuuly beautiful. i follow daniil medvedev because he's inSANE and a cunt but fun about it. I follow iga sviatek (my love) and coco gauff (my love [american]) because they're incredible and fun, ostapenko because she's ridic, muchova because she hits so pretty, daria because I want her to marry me <3 

^ one more obligatory jannik picture lol

— just on the subject of relating things to f1: the one thing that I really miss in tennis now that I've been following f1 for a bit is how the idea of a "team" just doesn't really exist. tennis players play doubles sometimes but even on a doubles team you're really playing for yourself, you don't get team support, that's not really a thing?? if you're a really good singles player you prioritize singles play, and often you play across the net from your doubles partner and obviously in that case you want them to lose??? like to a greater extent than f1 drivers want their teammate to lose, because tennis is truly zero-sum in a way that f1 isn't, quite.  this makes all tennis players feel kinda lonely and anti-social LOL and uhhh sometimes they actually are I think, like a lot of tennis players are super introverted and strange. i'm sure you see this in other sports this is just me comparing my two obsessions

woof ok idk if you're still reading but if you are!! some tennis blogs i can recommend off the absolute top of my head are: @sincaraz @tennis-shenanigans @mythicalpoolnoodle @scarletwitch1918 @fritzes @zhengqinwen @mayor-amor @vilebodiess @advantage-sinner (sorry this will catapult you into sinner tumblr) and they can probs rec more !! they can also correct me if i got something wrong!

as for basics, I think just watching some matches to start ! with commentary on so you know what's happening, also if you ever feel like sliding into my DMs ... they are SO open (heh) for new tennis fans :))

[turtlesocksv2]

4 Minutes Ep 2 Liveblogging

ok i'm not even going to look at my dash, i am going straight into this. I have been home for all of 10 minutes but I cannot wait.

oh somebody just got their ass beat Cain and Abel style.

So her son committed suicide because of gambling debts. We know who's running an online gambling operation. I see the dots, I am starting to connect them. also LMFAO at Tyme he does NOT know how to deal with patients it looked like it was physically painful for him while she was talking and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to say/do. and in the end, he does the least. Take these pills and tomorrow there will be another, DIFFERENT doctor who is NOT ME that you can tell this to.

Even the nurses gossip about how intimidating and cold he is. Very interested in Tyme's doctor ex-girlfriend just from that throwaway. Girl, do not drop out of your specialty over a boy!!!

Heyyyy it's my other boy Mio! I hope he gets to be unhinged here as well. And lmao at Title being an Awful Boyfriend Jet is really getting typecast as The Worst Dude. Ohohoho, sneaky sneaky with the phone recording, good job Dome!!!

god this flashback/dreamsequence/thinking about his powers scene is so visually interesting. i love it.

Title, your girlfriend is missing and people are suspecting you are involved maybe don't have a dance party in your car??? waiting for your bestie to help cover it up??? he fucking is keeping her locked up until she won't break up with him anymore oh my god. Jet really DOES play The Worst Dude every time. Great, you could stand to be a little more concerned your friend is a kidnapper here, this is why the goddess of time is telling you to experience character growth and be a doper person.

AND NOW TITLE HAS DOME IN THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR POSSIBLY DYING. THIS MAN JUST CAN'T STOP.

good on Great for kicking Title's ass and taking Dome to the hospital.

Lmao at Tyme fixing his hair and tucking in his scrub top before seeing Great as a patient. the nurse calling him out about it without saying anything is Peak Comedy. this fucking loser.

Tyme, Great is in no condition to be dealing with a Hot Doctor who is Looming like that. he has a head injury! the way Tyme just gets all up in his space...I am losing my goddamn shit at the heartbeat sound effect going on while Tyme is inspecting the wound. God this conversation is excruciating in the best way Tyme is down so bad it's hilarious.

Oooooh, JJay is a cop. Oh that's going to be delicious when we get KornTonklaWin drama from it.

Oh, is Tonkla Title's brother? that's interesting. Win has much better bedside manner/victim comforting than Tyme does. Korn's brother killing Tonkla's brother...the drama.

Oh but now we're getting a confrontation between Great and Title...hallucination? was the dead body not Title? anyway, the ticking clock effect works very well here. love these little audio touches that add so much.

Tyme here to save the day! so Title is indeed alive unless Sammon's getting Real Weird With It which I would respect. Once again, it is physically painful for Tyme to express human emotions "I was just worried" ok stalker. he's such a fucking disaster.

Nepo Baby Kitty returns!!! so fluffy, so majestic, would cuddle and feed sponsored treats.

uh-oh system crash at the illegal gambling operation is probably not great!

oof, Korn, just don't answer at all. no wonder Tonkla's gonna leave your ass for the hot cop.

the cello players are really insane, actually. This mafia uncle has flair, I like it.

I've only known Fasai for 2 minutes and I love her already. Mafia Queen!

...Is Bas going to be Ass Out every episode? Because I'm not complaining, love that for him.

Poor Tonkla, waiting desperately for his Ain't Shit boyfriend/sugar daddy/whatever to call him. But wait, what's this? Hot Cop Win is at the door? Sammon always delivers the "ACAB...except for this one Hot Cop that is only half a bastard." be grateful that Tonkla isn't breaking into your car to steal evidence and do his own investigation, Win!

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Dan vs. Phil - FALL GUYS!

Beyond excited for this one because I am obsessed with this game and have played this obsessively during lockdown!

- I am so vibrating because they are being SO CUTE LIKE 2 MINUTES IN. The way their shoulders are just touching the whole time, Dan pushing up Phil's glasses is like beyond intimate sobbing.

- They are looking at each other so cutely and touching the whole time, like something has been in the air lately and I am loving it.

- Dan's absolutely lack of conviction for the sponsor will never be less funny.

- Phil did get a really hard first level, like I am not good at that one and Phil's lack of control over his left and rights does not help.

- I don't know the jinx level, pretty sure it's new since I last played because I haven't played in so long but now I want to play again mh.

- The way Dan is rooting for Phil is adorable, like I think he forgot this is a Dan vs Phil there for a second.

- Oh I HATE the hole one I am HORRIBLE at that one but Phil actually did so well!

- Phil rambling about gravity is like the most random but most possible Phil thing, like what do you mean milk is too heavy?

- Phil was doing INCREDIBLE actually what the heck, getting 5th is no easy thing to do in this game sometimes.

- DAN PULLING OUT THE FIRST ALL OR NOTHING

- Dan biting the fingers and Phil looking like it's not weird in general, just weird that it's on camera... just a feeling but also you know what I mean.

- Phil is winning this thing, I can tell while Dan is playing the memory game. Update: I was correct ha!

- Phil has serious football high school trauma doesn't he? This is like the third times he's brought it up during gamingmas.

- The football thing had me at the edge of my seat, no wonder this is the most Dan has ever been invested in football because this is intense.

- NOT THE GREY SWEATPANTS CENSOR HAHAHA

- "You would die if you would did hole in the wall, don't do that please, promise me." Dan just casually being the most wholesome person ever.

I srsly need more of this and I need them to play together please! Checkout #sam reacts for reactions to the other gamingmas videos and see you tomorrow.

PS: Amazing endcard lmao

[httpiastri]

jack dw when i wrote "we just want you to be a happy paul aron:(" i ALSO was crying my eyes out that i couldnt see my phone LMAO

AND ! you broke my heart saying paul should be in the middle of our paul nation group hug too🤧

anyways

since i was sad (still am) i have a sad perfectly fine thought thats prob gonna break our hearts but i cant be alone in this so sorry guys but i gotta share.

SO ! when y/n and him were breaking up i just imagine after y/n said "i need a break" and he replied "from what? from me?" i feel like he also said/thought "are you leaving me too?" LIKE HOW MERC AND PREMA LEFT HIM AND OMFG I MADE MYSELF BAWL YESTERDAY WHEN I THOUGHT AB THIS 💔💔💔💔💔💔

AND AND when he found out that OLLIEEEE of all ppl is who y/n dates after him its like he thinks that again like merc and prema y/n just replaced him with someone "better". jesus so um yeah😁

thought of this cz i realized the time of the breakup was prob around the time merc dropped him/during winter break AFTER they did YKYKYKYK

anyways everyone cry w me now please 😘

-🧸

it breaks my heart to think of u crying but im glad we could at least cry over that sentence together 🥺 but omfg ? breaking my heart again was so uncalled for???? pls someone help me

i SOOO wish i had written it like that omfg.... help that's actually heartbreaking :(( i wrote it as them breaking up in likeee early may? but i definitely think paul still could've been thinking/feeling like that anyways because there was talk early about kimi going to f2... and maybe paul just imagined it himself (or he was told that there was a risk) that he could get replaced if kimi kept things up because he's always felt like the second choice to toto's favorite boy..... while paul needed to find his own sponsors and do a lot of work by himself, kimi just got everything handed to him, and so in some way he was expecting to lose both the academy and his team...

so finding out that he was losing yn too........... and to ollie, who not only got an f2 seat with paul's team but who's also happily secure in his own academy (despite getting the same rank as paul in f3, third, and despite "only" being fifth in f2 in 2023)(not saying that fifth as a rookie is bad but yk. paul being third in f3 in his rookie year and still losing the academy.... sorry no i will stop)......... he must've been really happy about that 🙃