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magics-neptunes-things · 7 months

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Historia de Amor 2

Hello everyone!

This is the Part 2 of "Historia de Amor" with Ona, I had a few people asking to have a second part so here is it :)

TW : Jealousy, a hint of sadness and so much love.

PART 1 IS HERE and BONUS CHAPTER HERE

First Jealousy

It’s been almost a year now since you and Ona met and you are dating. After spending a summer shared between Villassar de Mar with Ona's family (that you appreciate very much) and Menorca only the both of you, you are back in Manchester.

The weeks pass and over time, you realize that Ona’s new teammate who is also a teammate of her national team is taking more and more place in her life. When Ona informed you of her arrival, she explained that she wanted to help her to integrate as quickly and easily as possible into the team. Having been there at that time, having Ivana take her under her wing had helped her a lot and she wanted to do the same in her turn.

You didn’t think anything bad for a second about your girlfriend’s idea, you know how good she is and her tendency to want everyone to feel the best possible. And you know in your heart that Ona never thought a single second wrong either.

Yet, you find yourself tonight after a day organized by the girls of the team with a strange feeling in the stomach. The players' boyfriends or girlfriends being accepted, it's quite naturally that Ona offered to you to accompany her. And you agreed, enjoying spending time with the United's girls.

But the way the new one had to constantly seek Ona’s attention throughout the day ended up drawing your attention and certainly not in the right way. She didn't hesitate to interrupt you several times while you were in discussion with Ona, she hurried to settle on the other side of Ona during the meal and you simply couldn't have a single second with the brunette without the other being stuck to her sneakers.

And then there’s also the way she looks at your girlfriend that makes you half crazy.

Of course, Ona is beautiful to die for. Even if she is just as beautiful internally, you must admit that Ona's beauty is the first thing you noticed the first time you saw her. But only you would have the right to look at her that way. Not to mention the hands she tends to leave lying on Ona’s arm or back when she talks to her or seeks her attention.

Your mood deteriorated throughout the day and in the middle of the afternoon you finally asked Ona if you could go home. She accepted, searching for your eyes, probably to see what was going on. But you just looked straight ahead before following her to say goodbye to her teammates. You stayed a little longer with Leah Galton who was the host today to thank her and you went to Ona’s car.

You were relieved to get her out of the claws of the one you named in your head "The Leech", but you knew on the other hand that you would receive several questions. Usually, you are more of the type to enjoy every minute of this kind of moments and it's Ona who decide when it's time to go home.

"Are you all right?" asks Ona nicely as she close her door.

You simply nod and hum, tapping on the car screen to put music on.

"You’ve always been a terrible liar, Hermosa"

You sigh softly and look up at Ona, who is watching you as good as she can while keeping her attention on the road.

"I just…" you start to trying to formulate your thoughts coherently, in vain. "It’s nothing, Love."

"You’re starting to worry me"

The worry is indeed audible in Ona’s voice and you bite your lip. When she puts her hand on your thigh, adding a comforting pressure, you let yourself go against the seat back and look at her.

"Your new teammate… Does she only knows you?"

"No, why?" asks Ona frowning lightly.

She seems to have trouble making the connection between your mood and your question and it adds a little guilt to the jealousy and discomfort you feel.

"She hasn’t left you all day, so I was wondering"

You shrug and look outside your window. The sun was shinning today, blessing you with late good weather.

"We play together for Spain, it may reassure her to be with someone who speaks Spanish"

You just hums without stoping to look at the landscape. You don’t believe it for a second. Despite her behavior with Ona, she seemed rather comfortable with others.

"Well, next time you’ll tell her to keep her hands in her pockets" you mumble as the car stops at a fire.

"What are you talking about?"

Again, Ona’s surprise is completely sincere. You know she probably didn’t realize that the physical touches of "The Leech" were invasive, both being Spanish there’s probably nothing to surprise Ona. But you, you saw that the intentions were other than friendly.

"She won't stop touching you"

Ona’s incredulous little laugh makes you shift your attention to her and frown. The car restarted, but you didn’t really notice it, focused on the face of the Latina.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Of course not, but you just imagine things. There is nothing but friendship between her and me"

"For you maybe, not for her. Leah must have pulled out the mop to wipe the drool she left on the floor from looking at you"

"You talk nonsense"

You let out a sarcastic snort and cross your arms on your chest before looking out again. So not only are you not believed for a second, but also not especially reassured by Ona who must take you for a fool.

"Yeah, sure." you mumble, clenching your claw.

No screams were exchanged between the two, but the icy silence that reigns in the car for the rest of the trip testifies to the tension born between you two. And still, you didn’t mention everything you felt. No need to pass for crazier than that.

Arriving at Ona’s apartment, you take refuge in her bedroom. No other words were spoken and this will be the case for the rest of the day. Ona stayed in the living room and turned the TV on, it seems to you on the sports channel. You don’t know what else she’s doing, but there’s no way you’re taking the first step.

After dark, you realize Ona is probably thinking the same thing. You hesitate a few seconds between two possibilities but you end up opting for a shower. You could have gone home too, but the fear of Ona not reacting to your departure is too present. Coward? Most certainly.

The hot water allows you to relax a little and you may stay there a little longer than usual, but you needed it. After your routine after shower, you decide to go to bed. The sound of the TV still rings in the living room and you don’t even know if Ona saw you go from her bathroom to her bedroom in pajamas.

You roll yourself in a ball under the sheets of your girlfriend, slightly reassured by her smell that is everywhere. Lost in your thoughts, you lose a little sense of time. Some time later, Ona gently opens the bedroom door, also showered and dressed for the night. And, still without a word, she slips under the sheets, next to you.

You feel your heart getting heavy, you and Ona never went to bed angry. The times you’ve had an argument can be count on the fingers of one hand since the beginning of your relationship and it has never been so deep.

You let time pass again, your eyes fixed on the wall facing you. Ona doesn't move next to you and you finally realize that she must have fallen asleep. A few more minutes pass before you decide to get up. Gently pushing away the sheet, you leave the room and quietly close the door of the room behind you. You find refuge on the balcony, sitting on one of the chairs you used to occupy when you both remake the world while looking at the stars.

Except that today you feel lonely and your nightwear doesn’t keep you warm. You soon find yourself shivering, but you decide not to worry about it at the moment. This argument broke your heart and before you realize it, warm tears roll down your cheeks. Crying make you feel better, you feel like the steel hand around your heart is loosening a little.

To keep some body heat, you stick your legs to your chest and put your arms around them. Your chin rests on your knees and you get lost in the observation of street lamps and the noise of Manchester night traffic.

Your tears had stopped when you feel a blanket resting on your shoulders, but your eyes are red and swollen. You didn't hear Ona’s hesitant steps coming looking for you, she was far from sleeping too. You turn slightly and for the first time in (too) many hours, you cross the chocolate look of your girlfriend.

Ona’s uncertain gaze becomes tinged with guilt when she realizes that you cried, but that’s not what you want either. So you return to your starting position, enjoying the comforting warmth of the plaid.

"Come in, you’ll catch cold" whispers Ona.

Not trusting your voice, you shake your head negatively to refuse her proposal. She sigh softly and sit on the chair next to you. Without saying a word, you give her a piece of the blanket. You may be angry, but that doesn’t mean you want her to get sick.

She accepts it and wraps herself in it with you, turning towards the street too. A few minutes pass, but without the unbearable tension that existed in the car earlier.

"I shouldn’t have told you you were talking nonsense"

Ona’s voice finally breaks the silence and you turn mechanically in her direction. You don’t know if she cried, either, but she looks tired and sad. She turns her attention to you too and you simply nod.

"I’m sorry Y/N"

How can you resist her? You know she is and that it isn't her fault. Taking a big breath, you let yourself go against her, laying your head on her shoulder. You close your eyes in relief as you feel her arm slide around your waist. Reconciliation seems to be on its way.

"I wasn’t accusing you of anything."

Your voice is on the same tone as that of Ona, a slight murmur. You obviously had time to reflect on the conversation you had and the events of the day, since the time you returned. So precision seems important to you.

"I know you don’t think badly for a second and I trust you. But even in hindsight, I’m pretty sure she’s crazy about you. And I can’t stand the idea."

Ona remains silent for a few moments, stroking your hip. You look up at her to observe her, understanding in her gaze that she is reflecting.

"I’ll talk to her, okay?"

You nod softly, looking back over the balcony gate. A few more seconds pass before you feel Ona move and she gently raises your face in her direction, two fingers under your chin. Her look is soft, tender. The one that make you melts, like vanilla ice cream in the Spanish's sun.

"I love you. I will always do everything to make you feel the best with me. I’m really sorry that I didn’t listen to you earlier and that I got so worked up. It just seems so implausible to me that I might be interested in someone other than you… I only see you."

You smile while your heart is flying somewhere near your throat.

"I love you too. More than anything."

She smiles back and with her fingers under you chin, she approach your face next to hers. After caressing your lips with hers, she offers you the most sweat and loving kiss ever.

First Separation

It was on one of the birthdays of one of Ona’s teammates that you heard the news. It’s been several days that your girlfriend's thoughts seems elsewhere and busy, you asked her some questions but she answered each time that she preferred to talk about it later. You accepted this answer, while making sure that everything was fine and that it didn't affect in any case the feelings she could have for you. Even if it was reassuring, you can’t help but wonder what’s going on. You may have a little idea, but you’d rather not get your head screwed for nothing.

During this evening Ona's mind seems to you once again elsewhere. She was smiling while listening to others speak, without speaking. Her behavior drives you to be extremely clingy with her, but the Latina doesn’t seem to be bothered by that. You didn't expect to find her place on the sofa empty after a short time in the kitchen to reserve you a drink.

Caught in a Mario Kart game, the others don't seem to have noticed her absence. This allows you to go looking for her quietly and it's finally on the balcony that you find her. Leaning against the embankment with both hands, looking at the city. You hesitate to join her, not wishing to disturb her, but you end up delicately closing the door behind you to go towards her. Gently putting a hand in her back, you put yourself at her height after having laid a kiss on her cheek.

"I really like this city" made Ona thoughtfully without leaving it with her eyes.

You leave her face you were watching with attention to look at your turn the city. This is where you grew up, so you’re used to her figure. You let it go for a few seconds, before asking her timidly, without having the courage to look at her.

"Are you ready to talk to me about what’s been bothering you these days?"

Ona sighs softly and you see her move a little, turning her silhouette in your direction. On your side, you let your eyes slide on the headlights of the cars on the main road, a few hundred meters from you. Her hesitation makes you realize that what you’re thinking is probably what’s going on. And that terrifies you.

"You’re leaving" you end up whispering, still without looking at her.

"I have to go home"

You knew that Ona’s contract with Manchester was coming to an end and that Barcelona finally realized the potential of your girlfriend. But you preferred to bury your head in the sand and hope that time stops. You know perfectly well Ona’s desire to return home, to go back to her country, her family and the team she carries in her heart. She never hid it from you.

"Barcelona made you an offer?"

Your voice is always whispered, the knot in your throat prevents you from speaking properly.

"They’re offering me a contract until 2026. I’ve already accepted. I’m sorry."

What’s the answer to that? Nothing, obviously. So you remain silent, fighting against the sadness that invades your body a little stronger with each second passing. The silence stretches and it is finally Ona who takes the floor.

"Can you say something por favor?"

"What do you want me to tell you, Ona? I am extremely proud of you and happy that your dreams come true. You deserve it, sincerely. But I’m gonna miss you so much."

"I’ll miss you too"

Her hand which she places on yours makes you turn your gaze in her direction and you stick to her, seeking a source of comfort to this announcement. She gladly pass her arm around you, keeping you close to her.

"I’m leaving Manchester, but I’m not leaving you. I’m sure we can make it work. I’ll come see you whenever I have free time and you can come whenever you want."

You stay silent for a little time, but maybe too much for Ona who turn your face in her direction. She looks stress and a little sad, too. You know that it wasn't an easy move for her to make.

"Hermosa please talk to me. I have to know what you're thinking or I'll go crazy"

"What if you find someone else?"

As always, your fear to lose her is the biggest. You never claimed to consider her yours, knowing perfectly well that love isn't commanded. So you don't feel safe from losing ither one day and this geographical distance will probably not help this fear.

You see Ona leaning her head to the side, a slight air of annoyance displayed on her face. You have already had this conversation several times and she has always found the right words to reassure you. But there, a new parameter is added to the equation. So you try to explain yourself.

"You will be far from me, there are probably thousands of women who would like to be in my place and there are probably as many who have more in common with you than me. Starting with your native language and where you will live."

Gently taking your face in her hands, Ona looks into your eyes. You have always found her eyes particularly expressive and you sometimes still have as much difficulty to support her gaze. But this time you strive to do it, feeling that you need to impregnate yourself with the words she will say.

"I don’t care Y/N. I love you and I only want you. Before, now and after. Nothing or no one will change that in anyway."

First Homecoming

Ona seemed happier than never since she's in Barcelona. You can see it on the picture in FC Barcelona's Instagram, her smile shinning like the Spanish sun. You know that she miss you though, jumping in an plane every time she can to come back to you. You made the journey to Barcelona twice too, but it's not enough for both of you. Every time you have to say goodbye break your heart a little more.

Ona’s old teammates stayed in touch with you, much to your surprise. Not all of them, but you often meet Ella or Millie for coffee during the week. You know that the first of the two is as lost as you have since her best friend left for Arsenal.

"You should go find her" Ella once made you, over her hot tea.

"I can’t this weekend, I have copies to correct for Monday and an exam to prepare" you sighed softly.

You're working as a literature teacher for teenagers. It’s not always easy, but you have the vague hope of getting a few of them interested, fighting as hard as you can against TikTok. (While watching edits from your girlfriend on the same app, but it's another story.)

"I know. What I’m saying is that you should go find her, for good. Moving to Barcelona."

Your movements stop and you look at the other girl as if the ears of Martians had just pushed on her head. Obviously, you thought about it. But Ona never mention it.

"I’m not sure Ona wants me there. She didn’t offer to follow her when she told me she was leaving."

"Because she knows your whole life is here. Your family, your job… It cost her a lot to leave Barcelona for Manchester and she didn’t want to impose that choice on you."

"How do you even know that?" you asked, frowning.

"She told me. You both are as stupide as the other."

Oh. That’s news would probably have changed a lot if you had the courage to ask Ona directly. Again, fearing a negative answer from her, you preferred bury your head in the sand. Smiling as you saw your brain start up again, Ella had left you to your thoughts.

It only took you two days to make your decision, return the keys to your apartment and resign. When you told Ella, she cheered the same way she did when she scored, promising to save the surprise for Ona.

*********

Now that you’re in Ona’s apartment, you’re wondering if this was really a good idea. The Spanish girl doesn’t know you’re here, gone to training as usual. You had the help of Ona's mother to enter, the Batlle happier than ever to learn that you were coming in Spain.

You know Ona’s apartment for having come here twice already, but you go through it, looking for some changes while waiting for her return. The Spanish architecture is very different from the one you have always known in England, but the light colors and brightness offered by the sun is not unpleasant. And the fact that the perfume of your girlfriend floats everywhere in the air is particularly great.

You enter the last room not yet fully furnished, which Ona had thought of turning into a guest room. It's also where she stored the things she wants to get rid of or what she has not yet had the courage to go down to her cellar. You smile while looking at her old trophies, promising yourself to get her to put them somewhere on a shelf in the bedroom.

"¿Quién está ahí?" ("Who's there?")

You hear Ona’s voice, startling you violently. You drop your phone which makes an atrocious noise when falling on the light wooden floor. You hurry to pick it up and get out of the room, having noticed a hint of anxiety in the brunette's question. Well, arriving home realizing that someone else is there when you live alone can cause concern.

"It’s me"

Your answer is simple and Ona may have seen you before you spoke, but you blame yourself for scaring her. That said, seeing Ona looking at you wide-eyed, her training bag still attached to the shoulder is worth it.

"Y/N?"

"It’s not Hermosa anymore?" you ask without hiding your amusement.

It takes a few more seconds for Ona to realize that she’s not dreaming, but after the thud her bag makes when she drops it, the next thing you know is that you finally find the warmth of her arms. Her hair are still wet from the shower she took at the end of her training, but that doesn't prevent you from plunging your face into the hollow of her neck to breathe in her smell.

You feel your feet leave the ground when she squeezes you even harder against her, despite the fact that you are the higher of the two. But it makes you laugh and take your face off her neck so you can look at her. Her eyes are sparkling and her smile is bigger than ever.

Some kisses exchanged later, your feet find the ground, without taking your arms off from her. It’s not exactly like she’s in a hurry to release you either.

"What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t come this weekend?"

"No, I couldn't" you answer with a shrug and a smile.

Ona’s frown and you can not resist the urge to put your lips between her eyebrows to deride her. Taking you by the hand, she takes you to the living room and to the sofa.

"I don’t understand. Were you able to free yourself?"

You gently bite your lip looking at her, thinking about the best way to tell her what you did.

"I quit" you finally confess.

"What? But why?"

"I also gave my apartment back…"

Well, your apartment. Ona came to live with you after a year of relationship and she spent a lot of time there too.

"… and I thought maybe it would be better to find a job and an apartment elsewhere. For example in Barcelona?"

Ona looks stunned and blinks several times, as if to put her ideas back in place. Her silence makes you stress and you hurry to add

"If you don't want me here I can always take an apartment not too far from yours, I will understand, you have already installed everything as you wanted. And in addition I -"

"Stop rumbling" says Ona, putting a hand on your mouth to shut you up. "You’re telling me you dropped everything you had in Manchester to come here?"

"To come to you" you answer, your voice muffling by her hand, before she remove it. "I realize that Manchester isn't home anymore. Because you're not here. Home is where you are."

It takes some seconds to Ona to digest the information and you didn't leave her face with your eyes. When it clicked and maybe she realize at last that you're not joking or this is real life, she mumble how much she loves you before kissing you so hard that you lose your balance and fell on your back on the couch.

Some hours later, you were both fully naked in her (your?) bed, cuddling. You were half-laying on here while she plays with your fingers.

"Where are all your stuff?" Ona asked

"I take some of the things I need first in my wallets, but the other will come after. I had to send them with DPD or something."

Ona hums, kissing your fingers one by one, making you smile. You are convinced that you will never be tired of her or the sensations she gives you. It’s been three years, and you haven’t once seen a decrease in the strength of your feelings. Quite the contrary.

"Do I have to look for an apartment though?" you smile.

"No way" Ona frowns, even if she knows you're joking. "You made me feel home when I was in Manchester. I will make you feel home here, don't you dare going somewhere else."

"Your accent is heavier than when you left" you smile again, making her roll her eyes.

"I only speak English with Keira and Lucy here. Even Ingrid asked me to talk to her in Spanish even if she answer in English."

"Well that's hot."

"Answering in English?"

"No" you laugh. "I always find it hot when you speak Spanish"

Your girlfriend smirk at you, drawing you against her so she can kiss your lips, before quickly stop it.

"Wait. When I speak Spanish or when people speak Spanish? 'Cause if it’s hearing Spanish that’s doing something to you, we’re gonna have a serious problem"

"Only you" you laugh, getting back to your kiss.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #ona batlle #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagine

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barsformars · 4 months

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A Little More

g - fluff

p - jongho x gn!reader

w.c - 1.2k

t.w - none

a.n - i wrote this back in 2020??? i found it in my notion drafts so i edited it a lil bit and decided to post it (i dont think ive posted this? i couldnt find it on my page)

You tapped your feet impatiently to a made-up rhythm in your head, constantly glancing up at the clock hanging on the wall right behind your teacher. Urgh, class was supposed to end 16 minutes ago.

"Are we going to miss it?" Jongho turned to ask even though he had already guessed that judging from the way you were acting.

"If she doesn't stop talking right now," you leaned in slightly and replied softly, not wanting to get caught talking in class. That would just mean getting held back a little longer than you would like to. "Gosh, I'm not even absorbing an-“

You pause at the sudden quietness of the classroom, looking up to see Ms Kang with her arms folded across her chest. Uh-oh.

But before she even has a chance to call the both of you out, Jongho raises his hand, making up a lie on the spot as an excuse. "Sorry, they were explaining a question to me!" He nudges you with his elbow, which was your cue to apologise as well so that Ms Kang would just get over it.

"Alright, but next time don't discuss while I'm speaking. Got it?"

"Yep!" You rolled your eyes playfully at your table partner, he has a way of always getting out of trouble. It was just impossible for anyone to dislike him, and all the grown-ups just absolutely adore him.

Thankfully for the both of you (and everybody else), Ms Kang decided that there was no point in carrying on the lesson any further. She said that everyone looked 'too dead on the inside' which wasn't not true at all. It's just the case when school had started as early as 7.30 in the morning, only ending now at 5pm (or rather 5.20pm).

You stuffed all your belongings into your bag hurriedly before helping Jongho with his. Why does he always have a pile of loose notes and books under his table? Now, if it wasn't for how early the sunsets were nowadays now that it’s winter, you wouldn't be rushing him. You never liked pressuring anyone in any way.

"If we miss it today, we can just catch it tomorrow or whenever, you know." It wasn't that Jongho didn't like you rushing him, in fact, he doesn't mind it at all. He just rather not see you stressing over something so minor so unnecessarily.

Jongho had a point, but you really wanted to see the sunset today for whatever reason. Or actually there were many reasons. You know how there's always one week in the month where the sunsets just hit different from the other days? That's what you have observed at least, even if you didn't have any scientific information to back it up or prove that was really the case. Anyways, to put it short, the sunsets recently have been extra pretty and if you don't catch it today, you'll have to wait another month. Why? You have classes that extend way past 5 o'clock starting tomorrow.

And besides, you couldn’t wait any longer. As curious as you were hopeful, you really wanted to know who Jongho had caught feelings for. He promised he would tell you on a day the sunset is exceptionally beautiful.

"We still have a little more time left," you said, not bothering to explain your thoughts to Jongho. It's too much effort to try and properly formulate your thoughts into coherent sentences.

"Alright, let's go then." Without any warning, Jongho takes hold of your wrist, pulling you along with him as the both of you ran down the hallway, then the 8 flights of stairs and finally to the open field at the back of the campus.

After all the panting and gasping for air, you tilted your head upwards only to be greeted by light grey clouds filling up the sky. The golden rays of the sunset were barely peeking out from the back despite it extending out like roots greedy for nutrients in the soil.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and checked the time, hoping that maybe this was only the starting and not the end. "They say the sun sets in 6 minutes, so I guess we just wait?" You suggested, already seated on the floor before Jongho could process your words.

He remained standing, looking down at you with narrowed eyes. There was definitely something wrong with whatever you had just said but Jongho couldn't tell if he or you were the stupid one here. "I think that means the sky goes dark then, no? Like when the sun completely sets....." His voice trails off as you tugged at the sleeve of his uniform to get him to sit down as well.

"I don't know, but no harm in waiting just a little while more."

"I guess," Jongho said with a shrug of his shoulders.

But a lot of things can happen in just a little while. For example, Jongho might just muster up a little more courage in this peaceful silence to confess his feelings for you. And in this little while, an amazing friendship could very possibly end, unless you saw him as a little more than only a friend.

Jongho decides not to take the risk just yet; there's no harm in waiting just a little while more. Just a little more, when he can be a little more sure of your feelings as well.

"What's with this weird atmosphere?" You joked, an attempt to ignore how fast your heart was racing right now. Lucky for Jongho, you were too busy calming yourself down that you missed the way his body immediately tensed up at your question.

"Uhm, I'm guessing that's-" Jongho points up at the sky that was very far from spectacular-"all today's sunset has to offer." That wasn't the best way to break the awkward silence but oh well...

"Can we wait 5 more minutes?" You had almost lost all hope at this point but you never know what might happened in the next few minutes. Maybe Jongho would finally decide to let you in on his crush's identity as he had promised. Because if he doesn't, then you might. And if it so happens that your feelings for him aren't reciprocated, you were only going to burden him with your feelings. You don't want that, but right now you're barely holding yourself back. "Do you even remember what you promised me?"

"The thing about my crush?"

"Mhmm..."

"Yea, I remember. But today's sunset isn't it." Jongho sighed as he leaned back on his hands, staring up at the now dark sky. "Just wait a little while more."

"Well, but I don't want to miss the timing just like we did with the sunset today so I'll just say it." Your voice was shakier but in no way more timid than usual, perhaps it was the adrenaline that was rushing through your veins right now. Because right now, you couldn't care less about the weight and consequences of your words.

"Choi Jongho, I really like you a lot."

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez fic #ateez writing #ateez scenario #ateez drabbles #ateez blurbs #jongho #jongho fluff

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inmymagnetoera · 2 months

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Small fic requested by @kateskamala (THE TAG DOESN'T WORK I SWEAR-)

Hope you like it and I hope I was faithful to your request!♡

______________

Late night talks

Charles rolled the wheels of the chair to one of the loneliest corners of the island, admiring the view. He had discovered it when he arrived here: while looking around, he had hit a path and, after telepathically contacting Erik, he had continued until he found that hidden paradise.

"You'll get sunstroke if you stay here all day." A voice said behind him. He turned and saw Erik walking towards him, a small smile on his face and his reddish (and a little grey, but he wasn't ready to admit it yet) hair blowing in the wind.

"And you're going to get heatstroke. Don't you have any clothing that isn't black?" He asked, eyeing his friend, dressed from head to toe only in dark colors.

"Black suits me." He said proudly as he sat down on a rock next to Charles.

“Oh, all the colors suit you, Erik.” Charles almost bit his tongue after saying that. Erik raised his eyebrows and blushed, looking back in front of himself.

"Come on, we should go." The professor nodded and began to push his chair.

His relationship with Erik had been... bizarre after he arrived here. Sure, they were friends, they talked about everything and played chess, they spent almost every free moment together but there was that light in Erik's eyes when he looked at him and there was that strange feeling of closure in Charles' chest when he saw Erik talking and smile at anyone else.

"What are you thinking, my friend?" Erik asked while he was concentrating on kicking a pebble in front of him.

"Oh just everything that happened before I got here: Raven, Hank, Jean... I miss them, every moment but... I'm happy to be here." He said, stopping for a second and cracking his sore fingers. Erik saw the movement and before he knew it, the metallokinetic was behind him and pushing his chair, Charles pretended his heart wasn't racing.

The days there on the island passed quickly and Charles liked it that way, the hours to think seemed to decrease in the middle of the sea and away from everyone.

“You were distant today, are you sure everything is okay?” Erik asked as he moved his bishop and eliminated one of Charles' pawns.

"Sure, why wouldn't it?" He moved his tower forward. Erik didn't answer, but his look seemed to not believe the other's words.

After three games, two won by Charles and one by Erik, the two men prepare to go to sleep. They lived in the same house for convenience, their beds were on opposite sides of the same room, not too far but not too close. Charles was starting to fall asleep, his eyelids became heavy and it became more difficult to formulate a coherent thought, until a small noise made him wake up completely.

Erik was moving in the bed, his eyes were closed and his throat was moving as if he was trying to scream. His hands were resting on the bed but intermittently clutching the sheet. The noises got louder.

"Erik." Charles called as he reached the chair to go to his friend. He barely touched him and Erik's eyes snapped open, wet and scared.

“It was just a nightmare.” Charles said placing his hand on the other's shoulder. Erik narrowed his eyes and nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat and running a hand over his forehead.

“Can I ask what it was?” He asked, moving a little to the side, putting himself in the same position he used to do to listen to his students after a nightmare.

"I saw that day in the forest again. I saw Nina." He explained to him, not looking at him, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Charles rubbed his hands because, how do you console your best friend in these cases?

"There are no words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, Erik, I bet they both were great people."

"Yes, they were." Two small liquid crystals fell from Erik's gray eyes.

“Can you stay here tonight?” Erik asked turning to look at him. Charles nodded immediately and braced himself, lying down on his friend's bed. They stood stiffly face to face, their noses touching.

"It took me thirty years, but I finally managed to get you into my bed." Erik joked trying to ease the tension, making Charles smile.

"Yes, you really did it." He placed his hand over the metallokinetic's and squeezed it softly.

"What would the me from years ago think if he saw me like this." Erik reached out and placed his hand on Charles' hip.

"I think he'd be happy that you're healing, little by little." He came closer and made their foreheads touch.

“He would be happy that we finally managed to find each other.” Erik looked him in the eyes and then brought their lips together, the moon their only witness to that moment.

They were broken, destroyed, old and lost, but they would make it.

#cherik #erik lehnsherr #charles xavier #x men #fanfic #ao3 fanfic

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gffa · 7 months

Note

Oh my word, thank you for such a lovely, detailed reply to my ask about comics???? I was expecting to be redirected to some links or blogs, which is ofc great too, but thanks so much for taking the time to type out and formulate all that for me?? I’ve never actually read a comic before so your first paragraph was a bit mind blowing (I had no idea comics worked like that, I thought each comic was like a chapter in the same book ahaha). I also had NO idea about the different eras but it already makes so much of what I’ve seen from the fandom make so much more sense, so thank you for that! (It’s reminds me, like, where people in history never bothered to write down stuff they thought was obvious bc it was obvious to them and then people came along and went ???, so following with this metaphor, thank you for making me “???” lol)

Anyways, sorry, super rambly ask, but thank you so much for taking the time and effort to reply so succinctly and also thoroughly, and also explaining what pieces of media are significant and why so… like seriously, that was so nice of you and I’m??? Ajahwjehrh??? Thank you sssm, once my exams are over I’m definitely gonna have a new media obsession :)

Aww, you're very welcome! I'm glad that I could help ease the way for you! As someone who started with Batman: The Animated Series and Batman Beyond as my first real understanding of these characters (cultural osmosis doesn't count!), it was kind of a hard leap into comics, trying to understand how all of this fit together. To be fair, I don't want to give the impression that there's no coherency in comics from one author to another--it's very clear that a lot of authors are big fans of other authors' runs or they're building on stuff that came before their own run, but I emphasize the lack of consistency between authors because you absolutely cannot rely on that consistency being there, even if it often happens. You cannot pick up a comic from 20 years ago and expect the story to be exactly the same, because it's constantly being retold--authors want to be able to tell flashback stories at multiple points in the timeline, like take Dick Grayson, that "Robin & Batman" series I recommended is a retelling of their early days, of how Dick came up with the Robin costume, and it changes things (like gave him pants this time around, which I'm fine with) and I love that we can get retellings, because now I get to choose if I want to read that one or one of the older ones! We get a lot of really fun new stories able to be told, updated versions that weren't written back in the 1940s with different social norms, and I think that helps keep the comics fresh and interesting! And you're not wrong that some comics are like a different chapter in a single book! That's what Star Wars comics are aiming to be (well, within their own three distinct continuities) or what a lot of non-mainline DC/Marvel comics are like. It's just the main shared world superhero comics are a constantly shifting landscape! (To be fair to fandom not talking about a lot of this, it's also because the different eras are HELLA complicated to talk about if you haven't been reading comics regularly and broadly for 20+ years, like I had a solid grip on things until I left, and now I've been back for five months and I'm STILL fuzzy on just what Dawn of DC even is. It's hard to talk about stuff when you have a fuzzy idea of something, enough to pick up a comic and read, but can't explain high level detail in a post that would take you an hour just to write out all the weird little connections that lead up to an event!) But also thank you for letting me know your level of familiarity with cultural osmosis and what you're interested in getting into! Often times it's hard to know, "Okay, do I have to explain the different Robins or has cultural osmosis taught you enough that we can skip straight to the finer details?" because I love writing out broader views of the characters, but I don't want to patronize someone who is just looking for recs for starting places when making the jump to comics! I want to drag you guys in, but sometimes that requires tailoring things a bit more to where a given person is at/how much they know/what they're specifically intrigued by! Give me more info and I won't shut up in trying to reel you in. :D

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam

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oletusfragments · 1 year

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💌:Andrew Kreiss

I find this letter hard to write, as the moment I sit down, I lose the ability to formulate coherent sentences. Then again I can't do anything coherently when it comes to you. I hope I'm not coming off too strong, but want to say that I admire you. Even though we have yet to be in a match together I heard stories about what you do from other survivors.

I.. Uh how do I say this without coming off weird, I've been watching you, trying and failing to muster up the courage to talk to you. I think my inability to talk to you in person stems from the way you look. I have never seen anyone that looks like you, and your appearance manages to take my breath away every time I look at you.

I want to learn more about you, about your time before the manor, and what your favorite foods are. How you would soon your day, your likes and dislikes. Your favorite color. I just want to get to know you. And if you allow it, get close to you.

-with love, Johnae

Andrew Kreiss has received your letter! 🔔

Letters wasn't something Andrew often receives, let alone a love letter. At first, he misunderstood it. When he reads that you couldn't do anything coherently around him, he thought that it was because you were intimidated of him. Did you write a letter just to say how much of an unapproachable person he is?

But the further he reads your letter, the more flustered the grave keeper become. No way! Maybe you're lying. Did you mistook intimidation for admiration? Why are you so curious?

Why were you so eager to know more about him?

His heart flutters at his own question. All his life, what he wanted–what he needed was to be understood. Yet it was difficult for others to do what sounded so simple. For him, being understood is the most intimate thing that people could do for each other.

The questions in his head that was rooted from doubt turned into hope.

Will you understand him? Will you like him?

He is yet to find out that those questions has already been answered.

— Andrew replied to your letter!

Dear Johnae,

My appearance had always been the interest of many people. In a not so good way. This may be the first time someone described me in a positive way. Or did I read the letter wrong?

No one has ever tried asking more about me, atleast, not the questions you gave. All they do is plead to me not to hurt them, ask me why a monster like me is lurking around a holy temple.

If I do let you learn more about me, what will you do? After reading your letter, I've been wondering how long you'd put up with me if I ever open up to you.

...but you're sincere, right? I want to thank you. For seeing past my 'scary' aspect and willingness to understand me. You're...a really kind person.

...please don't make me take it back.

– Andrew Kreiss

[ It's Andrew's birthday today! ♪⁽⁽٩( ᐖ )۶⁾⁾ ]

#identity v imagines #identity v x reader #idv imagines #idv x reader #identity v #idv #andrew kreiss #letter.sent

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compressednerve · 6 months

Note

25 and 27 for the fic meme please 🙏

Thanks for the ask!!! :D Big rambling ahead <3

"25. What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.)"

Most of my writing skill is fleeting based off how functional my brain is working that day, so I tend to go back and forth between hastily typed notes in Discord and attempts to flesh things out in google docs-- both of which I don't really love, but they're online and I can link the files easily to @parasitefun who's my creative partner and helps with my processes. I loathe the spellcheck/grammar function on docs! I used to write exclusively in notepad or OpenOffice back on my old computer but I find OpenOffice in general... lacking.

I wasn't taught to read or write in the uh... traditional way, so I usually have an exorbitantly difficult time with actually formulating sentences. So I guess using Clip Studio Paint is another program I use for writing, because I need to storyboard, assemble timelines of events, sketches of emotions... what have you. It helps me in "assembling" the information required for a plot, but usually I just end up scrapping the fic entirely and condensing it down to a comic or a few paragraphs attached to an illustration... for example, here's some sketches from a few weeks ago while I chip away at my millionth attempt at a chaptered longfic, this time now featuring Yung Northmoor!

Whether I complete this as an actualized comic or intermittent illustrations, or keep them as sketches for referencing certain vibes of the scene, is mostly up to luck if I even can keep the momentum up to carry the work to the finish line 😔 I am also extremely shy and precious about my WIPs most of the time, I feel like my sketches are very vulnerable... which is unfortunate because I finish maybe 15% of the pieces I start!!! This is due to CTE though, and thus for the most part cannot be helped at the moment. I think for 2024 a resolution I have is to try to hold myself to finishing at least one Large Project a month, cuz then at least I'll have 12! :D

Recently I ..........acquired.......... Scrivener which I hope will help with a lot of the messy notes and outlines become more organized. It's an old version of the program though, and I can't figure out how to make the text of the UI any larger which makes navigating the program itself a pain. It's also very informational dense. Which is. Difficult and maze-like for me to comprehend sometimes. Multiple times in the past few years I've bought corkboards, pushpins, notecards, and other utensils to try to help make physical note taking easier, but my arthritis makes my handwriting dogshit to a point where I can hardly read it myself... and we don't have the physical space for my pepe silva act XD Maybe some day, though!

"27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?"

I wish! I never really thought of doing anything special for finishing fics- most of the time if it's not painstakingly planned out like above process described, the only time I get anything finished is if I do it all in one single sprint... hence so many abandoned WIPs... It's hard to take something to the end when so much of my ability to even start it is based off random whims! I think I get the genuine ability to write, coherently and cohesively, maybe every few months. I'm inspired and writing fic in my head pretty much all the time as a part of my psychotic processing as filtering my distorted reality through the lens of characters and scenarios has been one of my main perceptions of the world from a young age due to childhood schizophrenia, but capturing it in actual words and sentences that other people can actually read is a whole other basket!

...So, I guess nothing really, other than a large sigh of relief and a feeling of release in having finally achieved what I was hoping to achieve, or at least, an approximation that's close enough to it that I'm satisfied. Maybe this is my sign to try to incentivize finishing things by setting up a reward if I can manage! :D

#ask game #thanks for the ask -w- i feel so special <3

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courtofmatchups · 1 year

Note

I’m genuinely curious to see who I would get(you can be honest dw 💀) so can I please get a matchup? (Not Jasper tho 😟)

Also I’m really sorry if this is horrible at explaining-

I would say I’m a nice person and when I first meet people or don’t know others I’m pretty quiet but after the first few times I’m pretty chill

I tend to think more logically more often then not unless I’m with my friends and having fun then I sometimes forget

I’m willing to learn things though it takes me a few(hundred /j) times to memories things but all in all I memorize things somewhat quickly after some practice

I’m a great listener and I enjoy writing and sometimes even reading and on a rare occasion drawing(even though it sucks-), I also very much enjoy making up scenarios for random writing prompts/stories and I even imagine myself in them haha

I like sweets but I don’t eat them much

I like jokes and pranks(particularly doing them) and I even find it funny to scare people(it happens unintentionally like 90% of the time 💀) sometimes(I do it rarely tho)

I’m actually pretty quiet some(like 50%) of the time and people have actually forgotten I’m there so ig that’s another thing LMAO

I really like kids and am not that bad at taking care of some. Kids also like me a lot of the time(I chase them around and they find it funny)

I’ve been described as chaotic fun by friends and I’m also a hugger after I get to know people enough haha(I also have a tendency to jokingly steal things from my friends like their glasses and hats and put them on then run when they try and get them back LMAO)

I don’t have a single coherent thought in my head

Absolutely none /hj ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

I’m sorry if this is bad please take your time-

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

It seems you have captured the heart of

The Devious Libertine

Fenn Luxure!

Fenn, Fenn, Fenn. It seems he met his match when he first became friends with you. He likes that you seem like a nice person, and as he grew closer to you he came to appreciate the chaos you bring. Heck, he'll even join you in it. Expect to play pranks on each other and on your friends

Fenn likes the fact that you are such a good listener and will enjoy talking to you. Also, he likes the fact that you like to write, too. Your process of formulating these stories is fascinating to him, and perhaps he might even ask for your input when he decides to write a new novel.

Now, if being good with kids isn't simpable as hell to Fenn, He doesn't know what is. He'd probably see you reading to some kids at a local library or something to that equivalent, and the way the kids are totally entranced by you is something he'd never tire of seeing

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Writer's block. It's every writer's worst enemy. Now here Fenn is, slumped at his desk at his mental limit. Sitting around idly won't get the creative juices flowing, so he decides to see you.

Fenn: Treeaasuure~

You: Hey, Fenn. What's up?

Fenn: I am incredibly bored right now, and I would like your company

You: ...Writer's block?

Fenn nods

You: Let's go into town together. Maybe going out will help you clear your mind

Fenn: A capital idea! Actually, there's a new import of wine from Luxure, let's get some

Your day in town was a fun one to be sure. Some children you had read to had come up to you. They caught up with you and Fenn to chat a little bit. The way their eyes lit up as they spoke to the two of you made Fenn smile a little bit. It was simply small talk, but he felt something spark in his mind

Soon your conversation ended and the children's parents came to pick them up, and then the two of you headed on your way to get a bottle of wine to share.

You made some more stops to shop for some things before going back to the academy. Fenn had an idea for a storyline with a character based on you, so he asked you to help him "act out the plot" if you will.

Thanks to your help, he was able to actually write out the story. After a few months of drafting, his new novel came to print, and it seems like it was becoming quite the hit. This was a victory he dedicates to you

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

#fenn luxure x reader #fenn luxure #fenn modea #court of darkness #court of darkness matchups #court of matchups #this was written as if i had no idea who you were #and it shows #🥲#this was a little ooc #this was rushed and it shows #court of darkness x reader

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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 9 months

Note

Well, the little drabble was very much inspired by what I read on your blog lately, so it’s not exactly coincidence :D

But the threesome with priest Hyunjin and demon Minho?? You spent one (1) (hellishly good) night with the demon and you just can’t get him out of your head. You go to church next Sunday and try to pretend that nothing happened, but whenever your priest crush comes close to you, you feel like something inside of you is burning up and you can’t decide if it’s or bad. You decide to confess about it, ridding yourself of sin through honesty and prayer. And it works, it truly does. Until you do unholy things with the most holy being known to you.

Honestly you can’t even process what happened until a day or two after you’ve slept together in the most wholesome and loving way. It somehow just… happened? One minute you were just talking, sharing another one of your deep and meaningful conversations, and the next minute you’re both naked in a chamber behind the altar, limbs entangled and desperately trying to keep quiet. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Maybe it was your destiny to be together, but you surely couldn’t have been meant to taint that sweet, pure soul. It makes you feel sinful. Almost like that night you spent with… could it be? Are there parallels?

Desperate for answers and torn between regret and lust you find yourself in your room again, candles lit again, book open again. This time you know what to expect and when Minho shows up you don’t waste a second to utter his name. But this night is different, he can feel it. Where there was curiosity and desperation last time, this time there’s unrest and confusion. „What’s wrong, kitten?“ he asks, „what’s got you so worked up?“

„Minho, is it- could it- might there- am I a demon?“ Actually getting that words out was way harder than you‘d like to admit, and hearing the demon in front of you chuckle, no, laugh at them made you feel embarrassed to your core. „And what exactly makes you think that, little kitten? Got yourself some newfound appetite? That’s all but normal after a night with me“ The cockiness in his voice is unmistakable, and you would roll your eyes at that if you didn’t have more important matters swirling around your brain. „Well, no, it’s not that. At least I don’t think it is. I mean, maybe, kinda? But probably not in the way you think!“ You try to formulate a coherent reply, but get cut off in between: „Kitten, I couldn’t care less if you decide to whore around. I’m bound to you for tonight and tonight only. Not the other way around, no strings attached, no „I‘ll call you, I promise!“ Remember? It’s just a good fuck, nothing more, nothing less.“ His brazy words still catch you off guard, although this is the second night you hear him talk like that, with no shame and brutally honest. „No, it’s not that. I actually haven’t actually been with anyone since our night together, except for…“ He senses your hesitation and can feel that this is what’s actually burning on your tongue. „Go on, kitten, spit it out. You know I won’t judge“ His little encouragement is all you need, and so you finally blurt out what’s been plaguing your mind for far too long now.

„This priest in training, Hyunjin. I‘ve known him for a while now, he’s training at my local ministry, and I feel like we’re sharing such a special connection. We can talk for hours about whatever comes to our minds, I feel so safe with him and I think he feels safe with me as well, he showed me all the little details and secrets of our church, and one night, during the blue moon, he invited me up to the tower and prepared a little picnic for us both to watch the night sky and he drew me and he said he did it in the style of the coloured windows in the church because he thinks I‘m his angel and I should be worshipped like the saints they put in those windows. But, like, he’s a priest in training, so there can never be anything more than that, right? So I thought I shouldn’t get my hopes up, just thinking of it as a precious friendship, until a couple of days ago… we fucked. Not like you and I though, this was so different! It felt more like actually making love to each other, it was so sweet and sensual and when we came together, I felt like the whole room lit up and there were angels singing somewhere nearby. The last one could just be because we did in the church though.“

Minho’s face didn’t change much throughout your whole rant, containing perfectly that look of mostly disinterest with the slightest hint of amusement. Only towards the end you can observe a shift in his features, disinterest dwindling away as curiosity now mixes with the amusement. „And what exactly about that makes you feel like a demon, kitten? There’s nothing unusual about priests fucking around, trust me, I know. They’re still human after all, not always able to resist the urges“ His words probably shock you more than they should, but you’re still taken aback by his Nonchalance. „I know, I know! But this one… I think he’s different. And I can’t help but feel like I‘ve corrupted him in some way and I don’t want him to get any negative repercussions out of that… but what on earth could be able to corrupt such a pure soul as his, if not a powerful demonic force? So… am I a demon?“

Minho sighs. „Kitten… I can assure you that demonic powers are not transferable via dick. Or mouth, or any other body part or fluid or anything of that sort. But since you really seem to worry about this… issue, how about you bring me to him and I check? If there’s been demonic force used on him, I‘ll be able to tell. Would that help you, kitten, hm? Is that what you desire?“ You quickly nod your head and grab your phone, telling Hyunjin that you’re coming over with a… friend? Acquaintance? Someone and ask him to wait at your place (a special tree on the cemetery that hides you from view and has been there longer and seen more than you two could ever imagine) for your arrival.

And that’s how you end up standing underneath that tree that holds so many of your special memories, introducing your demon one night stand to your priest in training love. You don’t exactly know what you‘ve expected from a meeting between those two, but it definitely wasn’t this type of civility. „Hello, I’m brother Hyunjin, priest in training here at the ministry. And you are?“ He extends his hand, which Minho gladly takes and shakes courtly. „Lee Minho, sex demon summoned and bound for tonight to this kitten) He untangles his hand and swiftly points at you. Hyunjin is almost ready to step back and just continue with his day, until he finally processes what has just been said and double takes. „A~ a~ a sex demon?“ he brabbles, pupils blown wide and voice trembling with fear. „Don’t fret about it, I won‘t harm you unless you want me to. That is, of course, if you do want me…“!The demon‘s voice gets lost in the dark and Hyunjin immediately begins to stammer around. „Wh~ what? Me? No! That can’t be! I- I‘d never~ that is of course, maybe not never, just, not right now? Not if I have my wonderful deity right by my side to worship and praise and love. I won’t need more than that. Although I’m curious, I‘m certain that nothing compares to our bond“ You can feel your heart swell at his words, a warm and fuzzy feeling taking over you as you feel your worries subside. After all, Minho would’ve said something already if he found demonic force, wouldn’t he? „Dumb priest“ he mutters instead, „always so restrictive in your thinking. Why don’t we all three have a little fun, show each other some new tricks and broaden our horizons. What do you think?“ The demonic proposal actually sounds enticing and you can’t help but feel intrigued by it. But nothing would be done without the consent of your very personal spiritual guardian. So you look to him, eyes questioning silently, and you hear him ask hesitantly: „But~ but you’re a demon? Won‘t I go to hell for that?“ Again Minho only chuckles, making shivers run down your spine. „Not until your love for me overpowers your love for God. They’re not a prude, you know, just want to feel like the best. Say your prayers after this honestly and you‘re good.“ And with the fire in the demon‘s eyes, and the passion in yours, that’s all the priest needs to convince him into the most sinful yet enjoyable night ever to be experienced.

It’s 4 am and I need to sleep.

~🤍 (I‘d be elated if you tagged me like that)

This was such a visceral attack at 11 a.m

CW: blasphemy, sacrilege, religion within a sexual context etc

I want you to know I laughed out loud at the line where he tells Reader that being a demon isn't transferable through his dick. You're a very good writer btw. I'm not sure I mentioned that in my answer to your previous ask.

The juxtaposition of having such intimate loving sex with priest Hyunjin while committing sacrilege is so dizzying. It's a bit cliché but, being so enamoured with one another that you can't help but, make love right there and then on the alter? Crazy. Insane.

Poor baby wouldn't know how to handle himself around both you and demon Minho though. He's still reeling from the fact that he's not a virgin and that he lost it to the woman he's helplessly in love with. Now you show up with a demon? That you've had sex with? Not only that but, the two of you are offering yourselves up on a silver platter for him? He's already getting hard in his robes at the mere thought. Minho can probably tell and tries not tease him too much about it.

Minho and Reader enabling all of his desires. Telling him it's fine to let go, while you take him into your mouth and Minho kisses him. Telling it's all okay, it's good. He deserves to feel good. Not the he needs much convincing when you feel so wet and tight around him when you sink down onto him and, Minho touches his chest, playing with his nipples while you begin to ride him.

#..............why would you tempt me like this?#good lord now this hyunho is giving me brain worms #🤍#ask #rj's inbox #hyunjin hard thoughts #minho hard thoughts #stray kids hard thoughts #oh also let me know if you'd want me to add you to an anon list!!#no pressure of course and I'm more than happy to keep talking to you this way #I'm just asking for admin purposes lol so i know whether i should finally stop procrastinating an anon list lmao

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meera000 · 1 year

Text

Crazy smells lately

day 1

Obviously i appreciate and cherish all of my senses equally but i feel like i overlook smell the most. i think for me it's a three-way first-place tie between sight touch and sound, and then smell and taste are a two-way second-place tie. if i had to rank them that is — i've been faced with that question a maximum of two times. that being said, the first time i got covid i was like if i lose my taste and/or smell i will kms. didn't happen thank god.

anyway. committed voluntary overstimulation by going into le labo this morning. now i am back in the hotel room and i smell like their paris exclusive vanille 44 perfume and it's giving me a headache. this is just like the time last spring when i put on my usual fragrance before going out — margiela replica by the fireplace … need to try something new i fear — and it gave me such a fucking horrid headache that i had to go to bed early. i like perfume just fine. sometimes it is totally too much though. and, like, i want to understand le labo, because everyone who is cool likes it, but i must have tested out like 10 of their perfumes (8 on paper, 2 on my skin) and i did not like a single one. the only way i can describe how i feel about it was that everything smelled wrong. too strong in an industrial way. i can't come up with a better word. i walked out feeling like i was covered in soot.

and like i'm not even trying to be contrarian here!! i tried so hard to like it! it just didn't do it for me.

tomorrow i am going to go to dover street parfums market. surprisingly i have never tried out any of the cdg perfumes, ironic bc it's my favorite. looking at the brand list on the site rn. little nervous but we will see how it goes.

a couple of my friends work at the aesop downtown which is near where i work, and i should probably go visit them. but i am worried that i just won't understand again. at least i will get a discount.

day 2

hit dover street parfums market. layout was crazy imo. it was like a very clean maze. i left overstimulated … surprise !

i don't have much to say. everything looked cool but i was overwhelmed. lowkey i blacked out. i have only a couple of formulated thoughts which i will share next.

guys i think there is something wrong with me … i didn't love any of the cdg perfumes either. i did like concrete the most, and cdg2 knocked me out in a bad way, but i was just like oh my god for most of it. i don't know what's going on!! i tried out the replica perfumes they had and those were the only ones i actually liked. have i been conditioned by maison margiela to only like their fragrances?! am i going through a phase??? is it ok to not enjoy perfume?!

ugh i need to get into perfume more because i have no idea what i'm talking about. i need to be able to recognize what smells i like-- in the winter i like to be warm and in the summer i like to be fresh, but i need to learn to pinpoint specific smells. hopefully i just smell good naturally too but my biggest fear, more than rejection and being forgotten, is smelling bad and i feel that i have to wear perfume to feel some sort of control!!

now i'm all like, why does it even matter if i don't like any of these dsm perfumes? obvi i want to signal to people that i know what i'm doing -- i am a bitch who loves fashion and has a coherent style whatever, and also a deep love of external validation even tho i am also confident in myself. so it shouldn't bother me if i don't fuck with a cdg perfume because regardless i still have my shit together. i can't let the perfume wear me just because of its brand! and yet here i am like nooo what's wrong with me. i need to take a nap

dspm

#mine

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whats-wild-to-you · 1 year

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Thanks to a lovely anon I got to listen to Jay’s song ‘Ride Me’ for the first time a while ago. Since then I have not been the same. Anon requested a smut based off of it and I wanted to do well.

DISCLAIMER: it would be best if you read this in the privacy of your own home … this is definitely NSFW.

EDIT: it took me longer than I expected to write this … I had to take a break from writing at one point because things in my head got too 🫣🤭🥵🔥

Fun fact: Ride Me was released 9 years ago TODAY ... sooo 🎉🎉🎉

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Being away from Jay was torture. But today the wait was over. Jay was coming home for a week, allowing himself a short vacation before he went back on tour.

You had cleaned the house, cooked all his favorite food and created the perfect Netflix playlist.

Your best friend urged you to fit in an appointment at the beauty salon as well, stating with a wink that you needed to look good for your man.

You didn't realize what she meant until you stood in front of your closet, trying to pick an outfit. You'd be staying in, but Jay hadn't seen you in awhile and you wanted to look good for him.

Then a naughty thought crossed your mind and you quickly rummaged through your drawer, yelling triumphantly when your held a bra and matching panties up in the air. They were a gift from Jay for Valentine's day. That was the last time you wore them as they were simply too explicit to be worn daily.

Quickly, you got dressed and waited for Jay to arrive.

It didn't take him long. Just 45 minutes later he stood in front of you. He was wearing your favorite pair of jeans (they hugged his ass perfectly) and a tight white shirt. His hair was ruffled and he hadn't shaved in two days.

"Hey!" You said, your voice laced with lust already. Jay looked tired and 'not in the mood'. That changed when he looked at you more carefully and noticed what you were wearing. Suddenly the fatigue disappeared and got replaced with lust, matching yours.

"Now that's what I call a warm welcome!" He said, wasting no time, dropping his luggage and picking you up on his lap.

He walked straight to the bedroom, placing you on the bed. He undressed in record time, unwilling to break skin contact for too long.

"I've missed you! So bad!"

You nodded, already having trouble formulating a coherent sentence. Jay was a master in making you hot in an instant. One look in his dark and lusty eyes, and you knew tonight you wouldn't be getting much sleep.

"I missed you, too! All of you!" You replied eventually, your gaze focusing on the bulge in Jay's briefs. You wanted to taste him, remind yourself how good he felt.

Without hesitating, you slid down his ripped body, grabbing his cock.

Has is gotten bigger since the last time you saw it?

Giggling, you started nibbling at his tip, licking in with the tip of your tongue. You could tell Jay wouldn't last long and you paced yourself, wanting this to never end.

"Baby, you're making me crazy. This won't do!" In a smooth motion, he got up, your mouth making a plopping sound when he pulled out his cock.

He turned you around so your back was facing him. With a hand he brushed your hair out of the way and started trailing kisses down your neck and your back. Whenever Jay kissed you, your skin tingled and your pussy started throbbing. He kissed his way back up, slightly nibbling at your earlobe, while his hands massaged your breasts. They came around to the back, needing to get rid of the pesky fabric. You giggled when you realized what he intended to do.

Catching your breath, you whispered slowly. "The clasp is on the front."

You turned around, allowing him better access and looked down as he lowered his head, determined to unclasp your bra with his teeth. You sucked in air as his stubble was grazing your skin. Fumbling with your hands in front of his face, you wanted to assist him, speed things up. But he slapped your hands away, expertly undoing your bra seconds later. His lips were instantly on your nipples, tantalizing them. Your fingers were buried in his hair that had gotten significantly longer. You liked it that way.

Pulling at his hair you removed his lips from your hardened nipples, crashing your lips on his. You could taste the hunger in Jay. He broke the kiss first, lust swimming in his eyes.

"Ride me."

He didn't need to tell you twice. With shaky legs you aligned yourself with his twitching cock and lowered your body slowly onto it. It had been a while since the last time you masturbated and knew that you wouldn't last long either. Jay's rigid cock was penetrating you, stretching you out, until you felt the heat rise from your core, traveling throughout your body.

"Jay..." He knew you were loud only in the beginning, and grew more silent the more aroused you got.

Noticing your pussy convulsing, he pulled you off his dripping cock, quickly changing positions. You were glad he understood your need to feel him inside you for a while longer. But after he had fucked you in every position possible, always pulling out when he realized you were getting close to orgasm, you were exhausted.

Your brain was mush, your body shivering at his every touch, your pussy sore and slippery. You were wetter than ever before, ready to come undone around Jay's pulsating cock.

"Baby, please ..." You had mustered up just enough strength to utter these two words. Jay was fucking you at a steady pace but quickly increased it when he heard your plea.

"Look at me!" He instructed you when you closed your eyes, throwing your head back. A few deep, powerful thrusts later you screamed out his name, still straddling him, feeling how his thick cum shot up your vagina, then squished back out as you were still riding him.

Finally you collapsed on top of him, needing several minutes to catch your breath. Only then you realized it was beginning to dawn and a quick glance at the clock confirmed it was already 6am.

"You really fucked me all through the night!" You said incredulously and heard Jay giggle content.

"And I plan on doing it again!"

"Silly me for thinking you came home to rest and recharge." You laughed, placing your forehead on his.

#jay park #more soju please #park jaybum #park jaebum #park jaebeom #ask request #asks open #ask me anything #ask response #anon ask #anon response #anon request

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p-antomime · 3 years

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— minors don’t interact.

content + warnings: 18+, including: dom!toji, breeding kink, creampie, (a bit of) size kink, tummy bulge, use of "slut"/"cumslut".

pairings: fushiguro toji x reader.

request.

— jjk masterlist.

Toji's hand went back to hooking on your chin while his other hand was busy firmly gripping your waist so that you would stay still as he sank his cock inside your gummy walls which were compressing him in a hallucinatingly good way.

You knew you could see and feel the shape of his dick right in your belly, because, truth be told, you were too delicate compared to Toji in many ways. His hand could easily close around your neck without leaving much space without being below his fingers, his cock could easily make you feel like you were being sliced in half, and his thighs... oh, his thighs. They were the best thing to ride on when he wasn't feeling charitable enough to let you use his cock or his fingers.

And you didn't even know when exactly you had become so addicted to Toji Fushiguro, because honestly, we can say that fucking your best friend's dad isn't exactly the most moral thing in the world, but now there was no going back and you wouldn't exactly go or want to stop having sex sessions with that man.

It was just so good to have Toji fucking you so hard that your hips ached the day before and your ass was red from the numerous impacts between his pelvis and that region of your body. The way his cock repeatedly hit all the right spots inside you and inevitably ended up rubbing against your cervix and making you teary-eyed from the overstimulation. And, oh, the little moans in his husky voice that he would let escape right next to your ear? Divine, they were currently yours favorite sounds that anyone was capable of reproducing.

— You like that, don't you? — Toji asked, pushing you down against his dick and your back arched at the abrupt movement. — You like being used by me, no matter how many times I fuck you in a week you always come back looking more greedy. My cockslut, aren't you? — His hand that was busy holding your hip slid down to your belly to press against the shape of his cock reflected there. — Won't you answer me? Won't you be my good girl? — Your head dropped to rest against his shoulder and you tried to get your thoughts on track while forcing your vocal cords to formulate a coherent sentence.

— Y-Yes, mister Fushiguro. I-I'm your cockslut. — Toji made a faster thrust inside you, pulling his entire length from inside you and then slamming his hips against yours in one rough, agile motion, which made you choke on your own saliva and try to balance yourself by grabbing his arm whose hand was still holding your chin. — O-Only yours... yes, yours. — A small, debauched laugh escaped the older man's lips, but you could feel his cock twitching inside you.

— What do you think about me filling you full of cum, hm? — He let a light bite linger on your earlobe. — I bet you'd love to have my cock releasing my seed deep inside you, wouldn't you?

— Fuck, yes. — Y/N shook her head positively almost as if she were a dumb, naive girl who literally only cared about Toji's cock. — Cum inside me, please. — You moved your hips to meet his and felt your eyes roll up because of the pressure of pleasure coursing through your body. — Please.

He gave you a satisfied smile, leaned your back against his muscular chest and then resumed his brutal rhythm. You could feel every inch of Fushiguro inside you. And then Toji, in one particularly longer thrust than the previous several, poured heaps of cum all over you, almost to the point where you felt even fuller than before, when only his cock was filling you.

You were so close to orgasming too, but... Toji didn't think you deserved to cum so easily, of course. So, he slowly pulled out of you and watched as his load quietly slipped out of your wet entrance.

— Why don't you beg me to let you cum, hm? Maybe I'll feel a little more merciful if I see this pretty mouth of yours begging for me.

Obviously he wouldn't let you cum that easily. Who do you think he is?

#toji fushiguro smut #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x y/n #toji smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk #fushiguro #fushiguro toji x reader #tw.breeding kink

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stutterfly · 3 years

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Swipe Right 04 | Patch Notes | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst, humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 15.1K

Last time on SR03: You joined a gym to increase your confidence and things progressed the way you want with your tinder match. You ended up in an unlikely competition with your friends when you went new bar together, leading to some unexpected conversations and shenanigans.

CW & Other Tags: Drinking, anxiety/panic attack mentions, muscle tearing injury mention, fuckboy Jungkook, pining, flirting, pick-up lines, sexual tension, Joonie is still Y/N’s best boi, soft Jungkook

Series: Activate your SIMCard

Fic: Swipe Right (4/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When’s the last time you felt as good as you do right now? Jungkook has pretty much stopped bothering you since that night at Seesaw, your date with Jason went well, and you’ve been sticking to your early morning workouts. You definitely don’t push yourself as much as trainer Hwasa, and you know you should really take advantage of the free trial, but it was overwhelming to take in so much at once and the session made you sore all over for days.

At least your stamina seems to be improving and you’ve discovered post-workout endorphins are real. Tonight is your second date with Jason, a date you’ve uncharacteristically elected to host at your apartment. You can place some blame on those endorphins for your boldness, with pining and disappointment composing the rest of it.

While your first date ended without a kiss, there was enough flirting to keep you hopeful. Neither of you were brave enough to do anything about it then, but you’ve mentally coached yourself into pretending like you have an unbreakable spine with nerves of steel. Meeting him only solidified your attraction, and you’ve resolved to take the lead, even though you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s not like you often make the first move, but your confidence in him to do so has waned. You’ve been talking and playing games together online for months without any physical touch. Despite how he’s said he likes you and wants to see you again, you’d still be waiting if you didn’t suggest today.

You’re determined to show him what he’s missing by being a recluse. That’s why you’ve picked out the sluttiest clothes and the strappiest heels you own, decorated your face with expensive makeup, and even styled your hair instead of just letting it do whatever it wants for the day. You check yourself out in the full-length mirror on your bedroom door for the millionth time and pull down on the hem of your dress like it will somehow magically grow longer.

You don’t need the heels; no part of the night calls for them. You’re going to be sitting on the couch with him. If you’re lucky you’ll even move it to the bedroom you spent so much time cleaning. But they’re cute and they make you feel sexy, so you’re going to keep them on until he’s peeling you out of your dress.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you have to pretend like they’re not there or you’ll fixate on how hard you’re trying to be confident and cool. You’ll fall apart when it’s obvious to Jason how hard you’re pretending to be everything you aren’t. Checking your phone doesn’t help; it’s almost time.

Taking a deep breath, you pace through the confines of your apartment as you wait, and answer group texts from Jennie and Namjoon. You offer up a selfie, hoping any compliments will build your confidence enough to stave off the anxiety in your gut. A few devil emojis later, some keysmashing, and more than a couple hamfisted compliments from Namjoon, your ego is adequately inflated but you can always use more hyping. Maybe you should send it to Jimin to fish for more compliments? He’d indulge you for sure.

Instead you flop on the couch and open Tinder. According to Jennie, Jason is stringing you along; it’s been months, but you hate to admit that she has a point. So you don’t. She’s been telling you for a while now that she thinks you should pursue other suitors. While you object to her assumptions, she has more experience with this kind of stuff. It’s not exactly something you want to believe, not when you’ve put in so much effort for literal months.

You want to believe in Jason being awkward and dorky and that’s why it’s taken so long for the two of you to hook up. He’s shy and super introverted, but so are you. So why are you the only one trying to make things happen? You want to believe, but at this point you’re uncertain enough to heed Jennie’s advice and keep swiping any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re waiting on him. Like now.

You have your reservations about swiping while you wait for your date to begin, but you can practically hear Jennie cheering you on. He’s late anyway, and it will keep you busy until he arrives. You open the discovery tab and swipe left on a couple incomplete profiles. Most of the guys on here don’t put in any effort. How are you supposed to want to give any of them a chance when you don’t even get a tiny snapshot of who they are?

When you pass on yet another fish pic profile, a blue frame appears around the next guy in line. It takes a moment for your brain to register the name along with the duck-faced photo as someone familiar.

[Jungkook said: Your legs remind me of oreos 🥴 wanna know why?]

How fucking dare he? You match with the intent to ream him out and leave.

You: I told you not to fucking find me on here

It takes only a few seconds before you see the dots move on his end, like he was waiting for the moment you would answer, and it keeps you tethered to the conversation.

Jungkook: Princess!! I couldn’t help myself how are you

Jungkook: Surprised you didn’t block me

You: Don’t worry I’m gonna

Jungkook: it’s bc you wanna know huh

You: ???

Jungkook: Your legs

Jungkook: Like oreos

Jungkook: I wanna split them n lick the cream from the center 😜

Electricity rumbles in your gut, carrying heat and a surge of excitement to your cunt that threatens to flood your panties. You swallow hard and squeeze your thighs together as you stare at the screen. Embarrassed by the response his antics elicit, you scramble to formulate a coherent thought.

You: I wish I could unread 🤢

Jungkook: Aw but that’s one of my favorites

Jungkook: Just like you 😘

You: 🙄

You: I hate you so much

Jungkook: So much that you matched with me?

You stare at the message like a clever response will come to you and when it doesn’t you bite your lip. He’s got a point. Haven’t you learned your lesson not to encourage him? Your eyes scan the top of your phone for any notifications from Jason. Nothing. At least this is keeping you distracted. That’s what you tell yourself.

Jungkook: You’re still here which means 👀

You: It means I’m tired

Jungkook: Of?

You pause for a moment. Namjoon and Jennie can’t know how anxious you are about Jason. It’s the guy’s last strike with them and he hasn’t even met them yet. Jungkook, an impartial third party, might be able to lend an ear. As much as you don’t care what he thinks, you need an outlet for the anxiety in your chest. You start to draft a word-vomit. Jason has been so hesitant to see you in person again and now he’s late. Maybe if you just put it out there to someone you’ll feel better.

Jungkook: If you need to sleep how about a massage?

Jungkook: I’m good with my fingers 🥴

Stupid. In what universe could you confide in Jungkook? Deleting your word-vomit before you can send it, you start to type something else, but your thumb accidentally taps enter at the exact wrong moment.

You: You know what? I want you

FUCK. Goddamn you, sausage fingers.

You scramble to rewrite the sentence but Jungkook is quicker. He has to know it was an accident, but you’re still fucking mortified.

Jungkook: 😈

Jungkook: My place

Jungkook: Ten minutes

You: *to stay off my profile

Jungkook: 👉👌?

You: YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN THAT

You: 🤢🤢🤢

Jungkook: 😩

Jungkook: Now you’re just playing games with me princess

Jungkook: Can’t say I mind just fuck me up 🥴

You: Don’t you have a princess to fuck in another castle? Maybe she can stroke your tiny ego

Jungkook: Ouch felt that from here

He goes quiet and you close the conversation out. Setting the phone down on the cushion beside you lasts all of two seconds. When your phone buzzes twice, you know better than to answer, yet you feel compelled to look.

Jungkook: Hey quick question

Jungkook: Is this the most you’ve used the app to talk with someone you like? 👻

Just like that you unmatch with him and take a moment to seethe. Distraction or no, he’s not worth the mental energy. He always seems to draw you in like a pretty little thirst trap and drain you of your sanity. Not engaging is the safest option so why do you always end up doing so? Maybe it’s that shitty little part of you that gets excited any time he shows you attention.

There’s a gullible girl within you; she sets your pulse on fire when he feigns even the slightest interest, fills your head with wind when he brushes against you, and floods your eyes with tears when he walks away. Still, she wants him to look at you, even if it means he’s really looking through you. You hate her. Why can’t she learn that you deserve better?

You check the time again and wince. Jason is really late now. Not even a text. Or a phone call. Maybe it’s traffic?

Try to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re going to have fun tonight.

You start up a game to take your mind off the options available to explain his absence. When you’re invested in a game you often lose track of time, but tonight you’re hyper-aware of every minute that passes. You bite at your freshly painted nails during loading screens, chipping the red from their edges. Sounding casual is difficult when you’re worried, but you attempt it anyway via text. It’s ten more agonizing minutes of waiting before your phone buzzes with an answer.

The controller drops to your lap and immediately tears begin to sprinkle your thighs with the manifestation of your heartache.

He forgot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

An earthy scent fills Namjoon’s apartment as he carefully transfers the last of his plants to a bigger pot, filling in the edges of its roots with fresh soil and patting the edges down with care. His plants have needed this, maybe even more than he needs the mini hangout that will soon follow. The kitchen table is covered in dirt, but at least he’s almost done.

It’s not his fault Jungkook showed up earlier than expected. At least he’s quiet now. It’s been a while, but he’s finally stopped asking about how much longer it will take, so he must either be invested in the show he put on or asleep on the couch.

“Almost done,” Namjoon loudly announces. “Can you text Tae?”

“Kay.” Jungkook yawns as he stands and heads towards the bathroom. “Jin was already cooking when I left so it should be ready soon.”

“Good. I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, carefully transporting the plant to the desk in his bedroom.

As he’s on his way to clean up the mess on the table there’s a soft rapid knock at the front door. The moment he opens it and finds you standing before him, he knows something is wrong. Even the ratty hoodie covering your shoulders can’t hide the effort you’ve obviously put into your appearance tonight. While your makeup seems to have fared rather well, your eyes are red and your cheeks are puffy. His mind automatically assumes the worst about your second date and his jaw tightens.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He never showed.” You throw your arms around him and openly sob.

“Oh, Y/N…” His arms are around you in an instant, hugging you close while keeping his dirty fingers at bay.

You press your cheek against his chest, letting the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry. I know you probably have plans tonight, but I wanted to stop here—” You choke out a loud sob and wipe your nose with your sleeve as you look down at the floor. “I didn’t want to drive upset but you weren’t answering and I just—”

“Shit. Exam today. I left it on silent.” He pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there, wiping as much dirt as he can on his jeans before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.”

Jungkook emerges from the bathroom quietly with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Did he hear your voice or is it his imagination? Unsure if you’re some wishful remnant of earlier texts, he peeks around the corner.

Heels: black, strappy heels with a velvety smooth red undersole. Has he ever seen you in heels? If he has, it’s never been something as flashy as these. His gaze travels up the smooth, exposed skin of your legs until it hits the hem of a skirt. The dark fabric seems a little short; it clings to your thighs, riding up as you embrace his friend. It’s hard not to notice how well it accents the curve of your hips and more importantly: your ass. He’s definitely never seen you in something so revealing, not even on nights where you’ve joined them for dancing.

He pauses for a fraction of a second, eyes trained on the swell of your ass before moving up to find the disappointing sight of your favorite hoodie barring much else from view. Namjoon’s arms outline your shape, but the places his hands rest are far too respectable to glean much else other than simple blueprints.

With his dick leading his steps, Jungkook opens his mouth to announce his presence with a joke. He means to selfishly steal a glimpse of your entire ensemble with some snarky comment but you choke out a sob and his stomach lurches to form a whirlpool of apprehension. His mouth remains open, but his words are swallowed back into the dark swirling pit that now wrenches his gut in circles.

Namjoon looks up just in time to read the confusion and shock on his features. He shakes his head and cups yours against his chest, wordlessly signaling Jungkook to keep quiet.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, hoping you don’t see the man behind you slowly backing away like he’s just approached a rabid animal.

You’re sobbing. Why are you sobbing? What happened? Was it what he said before you unmatched? Jungkook tiptoes back into the kitchen without a word. He leans against the counter and shoves his hands in his coat pockets, trying to piece everything together. Did he cause this?

You screw your eyes shut to try to keep the tears inside. It’s no use. They always seem to find a way out. “He didn’t show up and when I texted him, he… he said he forgot."

“What?"

“I thought it would be good after the arcade date, you know? Like, good chemistry. He’s weird. I like him! He seemed interested and we made these plans and he just—” you choke out another loud sob. “God. Am I really so fucking forgettable?”

You wanted your friends to be wrong so badly that you ignored the fact that it’s been like pulling teeth trying to get Jason to meet up again. For him to forget completely is like a kick to the face that leaves all the teeth intact, maybe a little bloody, but stubbornly intact.

“Y/N, no. It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this fucking guy.”

Jungkook swallows hard. This definitely doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be hearing, but it’s loud enough to carry through the entire apartment. Kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom: his options are limited, but he knows there’s nowhere to go to pretend like he can’t hear it. It’s not like he can just walk out the front door now.

“Do I? It’s seems like a fucking pattern, Joon. I fall for people so easily and they always make me feel like an idiot for trying. Donghyun. Seojun. Jason. Jungkook… It doesn’t matter. No one fucking wants me.”

Jungkook tenses. He may not know all the names on your list, but his is among them all the same. Has he really hurt you so much?

“Hey… Don’t think like that,” Namjoon says, his voice soft as he rubs your back. “You know your worth, and it’s not measured by how well someone else can see it.”

Every time you think you’re done crying, fresh tears begin to roll down your cheeks. “I’m tired, Joonie.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We'll get you home."

As you step back to look at him your ankle rolls, and you begin to fall. Hearing the scuffle, Jungkook winces and peeks around the corner. Namjoon has a good enough grip to stop you from fully tumbling to the floor, but you’re definitely not stable by any means.

Although you now face Jungkook, you’re too distracted by your ankle to notice the extra pair of eyes on you. He allows himself to stupidly linger within your line of sight, raking his gaze across your form to take in the details of your attire, right down to your choice of earrings. Even with a red nose and puffy, smudged eyes, the time you’ve spent on your appearance remains evident.

You did all that for some guy who didn’t even show? If that’s how you dress for your dates then his innocent perception of you is completely wrong. What kind of moron would pass up the opportunity to peel you out of that dress and dive into your cunt? You look incredible. What the fuck.

"God. Shit. Fuck! Fucking stupid heels!” You huff out your exasperation and let a small pitiful laugh pass your lips as you right your stance with Namjoon’s help. “You know, I spent hours getting ready and now I just look stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You don’t. You’re not,” Namjoon insists, his palm squeezing your shoulder.

“Namjoon, I shaved my entire body. Do you know how long that took?”

Jungkook forces himself to withdraw into the kitchen. If you see him now you might murder him. He purses his lips into a thin line and tightens his grip around his arms. In an instant he imagines hiking your dress above your hips and parting your legs so he might brush his cheek against the smooth expanse of your thigh all the way to your core. Are your panties as slutty as your dress? Are they cute? Lacy? Plain?

“Geeksquad…” Namjoon sighs loudly. “I really don’t need to know— Hold up. Wasn’t this the second date?”

“Are you slutshaming me?” The tired laugh that follows sounds more like you, but it still hurts his heart. “I’m stepping up my game.”

“Nah. You do you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips that’s obviously full of pity. “You want to stay and get some food? I think I have some sweats you can change into.”

Tires screech in Jungkook’s mind. Is he going to be trapped here for the night? Without dinner? What kind of karmic torture is the universe putting him through?

“No, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. “Jennie wants me to come over but I—I didn’t think I could make it with having a full meltdown. You were on the way.”

“No need to apologize.” He pulls you into another tight hug. “Do you want me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m right in front. Thanks, Joonie.” Your phone begins to buzz in your hoodie pocket. You pull back and wave it at him, already on your way to the door. “It’s like she knew. I’ll talk to her on the way. Thank you for listening to me cry for the millionth time.”

“Always. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Will do, mom,” you tease with a soft laugh.

“Zip up your hoodie.”

You grimace at him with narrowed eyes but heed his advice on your way out. You also pull your skirt down as far down your thighs as it will reach. Men are gross and you trust virtually none of them.

Jungkook waits until he hears the click of the lock on the door to breathe a loud sigh of relief. Namjoon rubs the back of his neck and stares at the door. He worries about you.

“Yikes. That Jason guy is a dick huh?”

Namjoon swivels on his heels and rounds on his friend. “Like you were so much better to her?”

Jungkook casts his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t stand her up.”

Even he knows that argument is flimsy.

“Guk.”

“It was always just a joke.”

“It’s not though. She really liked you, man. I asked you not to mess with her.”

Memories have warped Jungkook into a jaded man: untrusting although not uncaring. Guilt is the only thing churning in his stomach as he thinks of you. He never expected to genuinely hurt you. Somehow things twisted into a gnarled mess that never really felt like more than a playful game of tug-of-war. But these kinds of games only work when the people involved know that they’re playing. It’s shitty when one pulls another into the mud when they’ve never agreed to participate.

Faced with the reality of how you consider him now, it dawns on him that he’s dragged you into the mud face-first without even the slightest resistance. You’ve stood up and you’ve even yanked the rope in retaliation, but you never should’ve been in the mud in the first place. Regardless of his own emotional ineptitude, he knows you never deserved that humiliation. No one does. The weight of his actions sits heavy in his gut.

Still he tries to justify himself. “All I do now is make pass after pass and she’s the one who turns me down.”

“You said it earlier yourself,” Namjoon sneers, irritated by his friend’s immaturity. “It’s always a joke. You’re never serious and she knows it. Look, you don’t have to like her back. She’s my friend and so are you. Just don’t lead her on and stop with the mind games. Be honest with her. The least you can do is apologize for being a dick.”

“That’s— I feel like… I don’t know how.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to tell him of your conversation earlier tonight. It just adds to the guilt piling on his conscience. Namjoon used his own words against him and the worst part is it makes sense. It’s so much easier when it’s a stranger at a bar or a random encounter at a club, but you’re neither of those things. He lumped you into that category all the same.

Namjoon clicks his tongue and puts an arm around Jungkook’s back. “Starting with ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. She’s a good person and I know you guys can get along. Things were going well until you made that bet, right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. “Mmm.”

“Not every girl is a Jiseo, Jungkook.”

“Yeah.”

“I think…” Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Can you try to just... tone it down? Maybe try to patch things up?”

“Okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows and he chews his lip as he mulls over Namjoon’s words. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his keys. “You ready?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Your head dips forward as your fingers glide across the keys. It's hard to concentrate on your task when you're this distracted by your own thoughts. You stare at the monitor with furrowed brows. Namjoon grabs the back of your chair and leans forward to tower over you.

"Went that well, huh? Did he blow the second chance he didn’t deserve?"

The motion jerks you backwards and you grip the armrests of the chair to steady yourself. Despite your best attempt to curb the irritation in your expression, your frustration remains apparent. You sit back and tilt your head up to look at him, trying to think of something to say, some excuse to not reinforce the "told you so" waiting in your future, not after you showed up at his apartment sounding like a dying whale a few days before. When no ideas come to your immediate aid, you click your tongue and let out a heavy sigh as you turn your attention back to the screen.

"Geeksquad," he presses. "Talk to me."

You exhale through your nose and briefly purse your lips before obliging his plea. The words are quick and quiet so you don't run the risk of bawling your eyes out again. "He canceled.”

Namjoon steps back and the pressure on your seat is gone. He places a large palm on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Despite wanting to give the opposite answer, you shake your head. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you'd like to tell him. He's clever and you know he'll likely find a way to get it out of you with minimal effort anyway. Still, you don’t think you can manage the words without crying like a baby and you don’t want to do that when the morning has only just begun. Silence falls between the two of you as he gives you time to decide if you want to open up.

After a moment of tapping away you finally give in. You know you’ll feel better after you cry.

"He said he had to stay behind and help do clean-up for the party he was at. And that’s nice and all, but we had plans. I feel crazy. I should be glad that he’s so kind, right? Like that shows he’s a good person, right?” Your voice has cracked but it hasn’t quite broken.

He sighs and flops in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Y/N… I think you’re asking me for answers you already know.”

“But tell me anyway,” you press, tears welling in your eyes. “Our first date went so well. So why-y-” Your voice breaks.

“Hey.” He reaches across the desk and brushes his fingers against your arm. “I know you want me to help you make excuses for him... But you deserve someone who values your time. Clearly he’s just looking to waste it.”

“But—”

“Y/N, you don’t need someone like that. If this is what he’s like before you’re even together, then what kind of effort is he really going to put into a potential relationship? Not enough. There are so many people out there, people that would trip over themselves just to have the chance to be with you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think it’s a mistake that you even gave him another shot. He blew it. Twice. Delete his number. Forget him.”

“I know,” you croak. Tears fall from your eyes and you quickly swipe them away, focusing on the task at hand.

Namjoon is right and you know it, but you’re kind of irritated about it. You know it’s not really him you’re mad at, but Namjoon is a good enough placeholder while you try to sort through your hurt feelings.

You muster your most monotone voice as you stand. “I updated your drivers and deleted any cached files that might have been causing issues. Is that all?”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pleads, rising to block your path as you step towards the door. “You have a big heart and I hate seeing it stepped on.”

In a matter of seconds you melt into his embrace and bury your face into his shirt. “I hate how fast I like people.”

“I know.” He pets the back of your head softly and squishes you against his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. How about udon later? My treat?”

“With beef?” you ask with a sniffle.

“With beef,” he agrees.

“Gyoza?”

“Mhm.”

“And takoyaki?”

“...You’re pushing it.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You slide the appetizer tray across the table towards Namjoon. “Here.”

He shovels a dumping into his mouth right before he speaks. “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.”

“Could you afford it though?” you tease, taking a sip from the bottle of saké and crinkling your nose at it before passing it to him.

“Not if you’re joining me,” he snorts. “You’re supposed to pour it.”

“No, thanks.” You push the tiny glass full of liquid back towards him.

"Wow. Are you guys on a date?"

You know the source of the voice before you even crane your neck to see Jungkook.

"Pfft." Namjoon waves the question off with a deep laugh.

Despite finding the scenario of ever dating Namjoon absolutely absurd, you can’t help but feel a little insulted by the volume of his laughter. Namjoon’s hangout night was supposed to take your mind off of how unwanted Jason made you feel. Instead, the pit of insecurity within your stomach grows into a thick, tangled brush of hostility. Is being seen with you really so laughable?

“Why would we be?” you snap, turning your attention back to your bowl.

Heat settles in your face and you purse your lips, not daring to look at either of them. You try to wrangle some noodles to shovel in your mouth before you can say something stupid. Their eyes are on you. Jungkook is definitely confused but not alarmed by your hostility. It’s something he’s grown accustomed to. But Namjoon knows when he hurts your feelings, every time, and it’s easy enough to disarm your irritability.

“She’s way too good for a mess like me,” Namjoon says with a light laugh.

“Why are you here?” you ask, tone already softer than before.

"Post-work snackie," he answers, all too cheery for your sour mood. “Came for the noods. Mind if I join?”

He looks to the rosy-cheeked Namjoon for his answer, as you set your hoodie and purse down in the space beside you to give him yours. Namjoon betrays you by scooting over to make room on his side of the booth. You’d mentioned to him before that you’d eventually like to fix things with Jungkook, to somehow make steps for peace. But you only have so much mental energy left to give today.

“Not tonight, Jungkook,” you plead with a sigh.

The frustration in that puff of breath is enough to make Jungkook hesitate. He blinks a few times, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I just… can’t handle your bullshit tonight.”

Jungkook tries to break the uncomfortable tension with a grin. “No bullshit tonight. Promise.”

“No.” Your answer is firm and somehow so fragile that it makes both men worry their brows in the same fashion. “Please, just go away.”

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a few steps back. He doesn’t know what to make of your demeanor, but he can put enough together to know the basics. You’re upset, maybe not at him for once. However unlikely, that’d be a blessing. Maybe you’re still upset about that guy that stood you up a few days ago. If that’s the case, he probably shouldn’t stick around and risk letting on how much he knows about that.

He tongues the side of his cheek and nods, forcing a smile to his face. “Alright. I’ll just order it to go. Planned on that anyway. Catch you later.”

Guilt wracks your nerves as he walks away. The moment you look back at Namjoon, you’re faced with a wall of disappointment that threatens to topple the scale of decision-making in Jungkook’s favor.

“You’re judging me for that,” you mumble. The noodles between your chopsticks slip back into the broth.

“Little bit,” Namjoon admits, watching his friend sulk over to the entrance waitstaff. “You know he told me he’s trying to be nicer to you.”

“What? When?”

“The other day. We hung out.”

He keeps his answers short and ambiguous, hoping your curiosity has been piqued. Maybe this is the golden opportunity he’s been hoping for to patch your friendship.

“Was this before or after he harassed me on Tinder?”

Namjoon’s heart sinks into his butt. Of course Jungkook would make reconciliation harder than it needs to be. “When did he do that?”

“That night I showed up at your apartment like a big crybaby.”

“I went over his place for dinner after you left. Jin wanted to try a new recipe out on us.” That seems to at least make you pause.

“You guys talked about me?”

“Yup.” He goes back to chewing his food, knowing he’s got you hooked.

Your incredulous stare does nothing to pull information past his lips. “Joonie. What did you say about me? What did he say?”

“Mmm?” He slurps up a long noodle. “A lot of things. But they’re not really my words to tell.”

“No one likes clickbait, Joon.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that he told me that he wants to fix things. If you want specifics, maybe we can invite him to come eat with us. It might be easier for the both of you to talk about it over good food.”

You sigh, seriously considering his words even as you shake your head. “Joon, I’m already emotionally compromised. I really don’t want to cry in front of Jungkook tonight.”

“Why would you cry? This is a night for good things only. Namjoon-approved and protected. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to... I just thought it might be nice to make some good memories with good friends.”

You roll your eyes but hold your pinky out for him. “Fine. But this is Joonie-Y/N time. You’re cutting into that allotted time slot, you know that right?”

Namjoon rests his elbow on the table, preparing to pinky swear to whatever you’re about to suggest. “Conditions?”

“He sits next to you, he doesn’t make fun of me if I cry, and…. he doesn’t get to talk.”

“Y/N.”

“Fiiiiine. He can talk. But he better be as nice as you say he’s trying to be.”

“We allowed to talk about Jason?”

“If it comes up…” you sigh. “You know, if he’s mean to me and I cry then you have to deal with it.”

He clasps his long pinky around yours. “Deal. But with how all that just went down, you gotta go tell him to come back. He won’t believe me if I do it.”

“Don’t let him be mean to me,” you plead, tightening your grip on his pinky and locking eyes with him. “Good vibes only.”

“He won’t be mean. Good vibes only.” Namjoon nods with a soft smile. “He really is a good person where it counts, Y/N.”

You push your things aside and force yourself to find Jungkook. He’s leaning against a wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone while he waits for his order. You quietly request to your waitress that you’d like his food brought to your table. She’s nice enough about it, but your stomach churns regardless. It’s the anxiety.

You gingerly poke a finger against his shoulder as you approach. “Um. Hey.”

He seems startled at first, but smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hmm?”

You take a deep quiet inhale, trying your best not to get lost in the butterflies his charming smile conjures in your gut. You try to tell yourself it’s anxiety and nothing more. Apologies are hard and scary. That’s all.

“I’m… sorry for being rude. I’ve had a rough week but I shouldn’t take it out on you. Come eat with us, please. Namjoon’s buying anyway.”

His eyes seem to light up with surprise and a warm smile deepens the creases around his eyes and mouth. The hope that these feelings of attraction would evaporate with time is a flame swiftly snuffed out and replaced with a burning heartache that deems denial useless. Even now, pangs of infatuation lurk below your feelings of disdain, breaking the tension of its surface with each beat of your heart.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “I shouldn’t have invited myself when I saw you guys. I should really get home and shower anyway.”

He looks so clean that you’d assumed he’d already showered. It’s not like you can smell him from where you stand. Maybe he’s lying, but at least you get the sense it’s coming from a place of politeness.

“Jungkook, I want you to come eat with us. Besides Namjoon wants someone to drink saké with him and I cannot keep doing it.”

“I see.” He offers a small laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty against it before. What changed?”

“Namjoon told me you’re trying to be less of an asshole to me.”

“Did he?” he licks his lips and tries to hide his pleased smile. “I’m surprised you believe him.”

“He also promised me I could punch you in the dick if you make me cry,” you lie, completely stone-faced.

If he knows that’s a falsified statement, he doesn’t say anything. He looks past your shoulder to quirk a brow at Namjoon, who appears to be furiously texting at the table. Jungkook’s phone buzzes a few times against his palm and he’s fairly sure he already knows who it is.

“Come on. I already asked them to bring your food to the table.”

He reads Namjoon’s messages as he trails behind you.

NAMJOON: If you seriously want to apologize stick around, make her laugh, just listen when you need to

JUNGKOOK: Don’t worry

JUNGKOOK: I got u

Before Namjoon can send a text saying that Jungkook's response has the opposite effect, you’re peeking across the table, trying to get a glance at the screen.

“Who’s that?” you wonder. Namjoon’s not usually one to be so secretive with his texts.

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows at you and pours you a shot. “Stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ha. Haha. Ha.” You gesture at your face. “You say to the girl with anxiety.”

Crinkling your nose at the glass he offers, you slide it across to Jungkook as he settles in next to Namjoon. “Here. I’m done drinking that stuff tonight.”

He regards it with a quirked brow. Something about your demeanor really has changed, but looking between you and Namjoon does nothing to answer the question of what that may be.

“Okay, so on reddit this guy was reaching. He’s going on about the symbolism in the red scarf—”

Your eyes gloss over the moment he mentions reddit. Is there anything you care less about than Joon’s favorite modern literary discussion threads?

“Got it. Not worrying about it,” you interrupt, bringing your bowl to your lips to slurp some of the broth.

Jungkook hides his smirk by throwing his head back to drink his shot. Namjoon is a genius. It might be scary if he ever decided to use his intellect for nefarious purposes. Lucky for the universe he uses it to protect others, like a real superhero would.

As the three of you dine together, you’re surprised to find that Jungkook isn’t being as annoying as he usually is. In fact, it seems the more he drinks outside of any competitive setting, the more affable he becomes. Maybe there’s something to Namjoon’s clickbaity words. He’s almost the person you remember meeting before the Halloween Party, maybe even more pleasant.

You’re grateful when the two of them start telling embarrassing stories so you can listen and laugh at the way they slur their words and interrupt each other. Laughter makes your heart feel light and full, and brave enough to take the last step to prove to yourself you’re done chasing Jason. As the two men fight over the last piece of gyoza and distract themselves over dessert, you quietly decide to clear your text messages from Jason. Your finger hovers over the delete icon for a second before purging his contact information from your device entirely.

It’s freeing to not have to worry about what you should send him. It’s frustrating to have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for it, but at least there will be no conversation history to pick apart anymore. It should feel perfect. That will definitely show him, right? You don’t have to reflect for more than a couple seconds to reinforce the memory of how little he actually reached out on his own.

He still has your number. The only time he ever called was on your first date. He never texted you unless you spoke first. He probably won’t even notice you’re gone. He’s probably relieved he won’t have to answer you anymore. He probably thinks you’re desperate for trying for so long. You don’t realize how well you wear your anxiety.

When you look up Jungkook is watching you while he chews with his mouth wide open. “Hey, why do-” He hiccups and swallows. “Why do you look so sad? You should have some ice cream.”

He scans the table for something to offer you, but he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for in his drunken stupor. After a few seconds his eyes finally land on his own plate where the other half of his red-bean cake sits.

“Do you want my taiyaki?” He holds the tail end of the fish-shaped cake out to you. “It’s really good!”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected sweet absurdity of the night. “Jungkook, I don’t want your half-eaten cake.”

He frowns and looks at the pastry. “Is it because I bit it? I’ll break off that part for you if you don’t want your mouth to touch that.”

Although Jungkook definitely is more drunk than Namjoon right now, the older man can’t help but be amazed by how well this is going. He loads up on green tea ice cream and digs his spoon in it. He shouldn’t have been so worried. Jungkook can put away the act when he wants to, especially once alcohol is involved and there’s nothing to prove. You guys are actually getting along. What a relief.

“No, really it’s okay.” You laugh.

Jungkook is already breaking the pastry apart in his hand, watching as it crumbles to pieces on his plate. He blinks a couple times and closes his mouth in a frown.

“I thought that would work.” He sounds utterly defeated.

The waitress walks over just in time to watch Namjoon stick a heaping spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. You're too busy laughing at Jungkook's forlorn expression to notice the way Namjoon's eyes water. His eyes drop to the ice cream he thought he shoveled into his mouth. Right next to the pristine, untouched scoop of green tea ice cream, he finds his spoon resting in the hunk of wasabi adjacent to it. He should really pay attention more. He pushes against Jungkook's side and motions that he needs to get up. The younger man spares a glance his way but Namjoon waves him off while mumbling something about the bathroom.

The waitress tries to keep her composure and looks between the pair of you. "How is everything?"

"Great! Could you please bring us some water?" you ask in your sweetest voice, realizing the two men with you should at least try to start sobering up.

You expected to have Namjoon crashing on your couch on a Friday night, or at least be dropping him off down the hall at Hobi’s place. Jungkook was not part of the plan, but you can’t exactly let him drive home inebriated. You know he’s not your responsibility but you’d feel guilty making him call for a ride home when you’re perfectly capable.

Although you hate to admit it, you’ve had fun tonight. If you’re being honest with yourself you’d like to see what he’s like without Namjoon nearby to police his moves. He’s been nice enough, but you want to know for sure this isn’t an act. You want to ask him if he’s made another bet, or playing some game since he hasn’t hit on you all night. Before you can get your line of questions in order, Jungkook turns to the server with large, pleading eyes.

"Oh! Can you bring some more dessert, please?"

He may be a grown ass man capable of charming the pants off of women everywhere, but right now he is little more than a child begging for seconds. Regardless of everything he's done, your heart softens, endeared and embarrassed by his drunken request to your server.

The waitress nods. "Sure, what would you like?"

His eyes fall to you for an answer. "What do you like?"

You blink at him. "Me? I thought this was for you."

He nods. "Mm. We can split it."

"Um, how about... tempura?"

"Banana?"

Jungkook’s voice is full of anticipation and his upturned eyebrows seem to bargain for agreement. It’s so hard to believe this is the same man who has been so cold to you for so long when he seems so open and warm now. You remind yourself it’s probably the alcohol. It’s probably some secret promise to Namjoon. Some bet with Hobi. Some game he’s playing. It’s probably anything other than what your dumb crush-stupefied heart wants it to be.

The waitress looks to you for approval and you give a nod. "Sure. Banana tempura."

The waitress awkwardly smiles as she gathers the empty platters and gives you a chance to break away from his endearingly drunken face. He smiles across the table at you and wrings his hands while you pick up your phone to check on those nonexistent messages. Maybe if you distract yourself enough you can ignore the feelings that are catching up to you tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me back over,” he says, reaching to the nearly empty bottle of saké to pour himself another shot. “I’ve... been wanting to talk to you."

"I’m surprised you didn’t blow up my phone.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a harshness in your tone that exposes a venomous bite beneath it.

He downs the shot and plants his elbows on the table, leaning forward on them. "I wanted to say it to your face."

“Oh, really?”

You don’t allow yourself to entertain the idea that he’s about to say anything groundbreaking, but you look away from your phone to meet those dark, twinkling eyes. Suddenly there’s hope in your gut. You’re desperate to put some distance between the feelings jumping to the surface.

“I’ve been a dick.”

“No shit.”

Though the fog of alcohol consumes his apology, his eyes focus on you with clarity. “I’m sorry.”

How long have you waited to hear those words? You never really thought about what you might say in response. His apology sits in the air between you for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m really sorry. Namjoon is right. I am trying to be less of an asshole to you. We don’t…” he catches himself, “I don’t have a lot of close friends who are women.”

“You don’t say.”

That seems to cut through the fog. He hangs his head and focuses his gaze on the table.

“I never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, you did,” you mumble.

“I know... I’m sorry.” It’s like now that he’s said it once, he can’t stop saying it. He’s not sure how to make you understand. Maybe you do understand and you just won’t forgive him. Can he really blame you for that?

“Why?” you question; it’s the last barrier protecting your heart, the only thing keeping you from caving. “Why do you care now?”

Jungkook’s head lolls to one side as he sits back against his seat and stares at the nearly empty bottle of saké. “I don’t know. I guess I was thinking… I wish I had a save to reload. Before I messed up.”

It seems that’s the best you’re going to get out of him right now. The waitress sets down a beautiful platter of banana tempura meticulously arranged around a simple mound of ice cream, topped with a single cherry and drizzled with decorative chocolate. She places three waters on the table and you both take a moment to politely force smiles and pause your conversation.

He licks his lips and stares down at the plate and then back up at you. “Can we start over?”

“Depends. Are you gonna go back to being a dick when you’re not drunk anymore?”

“No, no. I mean it. I wanna try to be friends.”

“For real?” You swipe the cherry, pop it in your mouth and tilt your head to regard him. You can’t let yourself fully believe him. You want to. The earnestness in his drunken features charms you, but you hold onto a shred of disbelief as a crutch. You’ll wait for the moment he reverts. Hopefully this time you’ll be prepared for the whiplash that comes along with it.

“For real.”

You reflect on his apology as the pair of you dig into the dessert. “Maybe. Prove it.”

He perks up. He’ll take a maybe. Maybe means the damage he’s done might not be irreparable. The guilt weighing on his conscience feels lighter. It’s a start.

“I will. I’ll find some way to make it up to you.”

You roll your eyes, unwilling to put stock in his words. “Is this another bet with Hobi? About how quickly you can make me forgive you?”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously, wisps of wild black hair whipping his cheeks. “No, I mean it. I promise.”

You drag your lip through your teeth as you teeter on the line of acceptance. “What is a promise from a liar worth?”

He drops the flat of his palm to the table and he pouts. “Hey. I mean it…. Hm. If I break my promise…” His eyes scan the table for anything he can use to change your mind. He looks at his arm pressed against the table and then back at you. “You can choose my next tattoo.”

Your eyebrows rise into your hairline. “Really.”

He eagerly nods. “I’ll get whatever you want wherever you want. Just. Not my face.”

“I want that in writing,” you snort.

Jungkook glances around the table and pulls a napkin from under the plate of tempura. “Do you have a pen?”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious.” He’s not taking no for an answer.

You shake your head and rummage through your purse to supply him with a pen. He smooths out the napkin he’s chosen to use as a conduit for his promise. When he’s finished writing he slides it towards you.

Princess

I’m sorry. I can make it right.

I promise. Please give me another chance.

If I blow it you can choose what & where my next tattoo goes.

As long as it’s not my face. Let’s be friends? #promise.com ♡ Jungkook

Of course he signed it with a heart. Despite his inebriation, his handwriting is still neat. Well, that’s one hell of a promise.

“Okay.” You fold the note and drop it into your purse. “We can try.”

His face lights up as he stuffs a piece of tempura into his mouth, happily chomping with his mouth wide open. He reaches for the saké but you slide a water in front of him instead.

“Friends don’t let friends get totally shitfaced at Hajime.”

He frowns at you but seems to accept your answer with a pout.

“Speaking of which… Where is Namjoon?” You crane your neck to look around the restaurant.

“Friday noodle nights common for you guys?” Jungkook asks, digging into the dessert between massive gulps of water.

“No, not really. We’re usually watching movies at my place or hanging with Hobi. But Namjoon wanted to take me out because I was sad,” you say, finally catching sight of your friend on the other side of the bar.

Jungkook’s chewing slows and he regards you with furrowed brows. “Sad?”

Before you can decide how you want to answer, Namjoon is scooting into the booth next to Jungkook and reaching for a piece of tempura. “Mmmm. What did I miss?”

“Y/N was telling me why she’s sad.”

Namjoon nods like he understands exactly what you’ve been talking about. “He’s a dick, right? Like how do you even stand someone up, not once, but twice? Makes no sense.”

“Joonie—”

“And I know what you’re gonna say, but I disagree. It has nothing to do with you or how you look, Y/N. You don’t need to workout like a maniac to try to change anything. Especially not for someone like Jason. I can’t even imagine—”

“Joon.” You click your tongue and slide a glass of water in front of him. “Please, shut the fuck up.”

As you glare at him, he looks at you with raised brows and wide eyes. Unsure what to do now that he’s obviously fubared the conversation, he casts his guilty gaze to his cup and brings it to his lips.

Jungkook stares at you with furrowed brows, trying to wait to let you fill in the blanks even though he’s itching to ask about everything. He picks another piece of tempura and stuffs it into his mouth, but when you remain silent the impulse to pry takes over. “Jason?”

“He stood me up…” you start, but you close your mouth when you realize you’re going to try to defend him. Your throat feels full, like you can’t get enough air through with a giant knot in it like this. You have to whisper so your voice doesn’t crack. “Twice.”

The couple drinking at the table nearby becomes a much more interesting place to rest your eyes than the two men across from you. Tightening your jaw doesn’t prevent the gloss from coating your eyes. Thinking about it makes you feel so stupid and desperate. Bending over backwards a thousand different ways to accommodate him couldn’t convince him to put in even a minimal amount of effort one time.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “Twice?”

The hurt you feel in your chest scorches your cheeks until anger is filling your head like a teakettle ready to release an unhealthy amount of steam right in Jungkook’s face.

“That’s what I get for giving people second chances,” you snap as you focus back on him.

Joon says your name like it’s a warning but you don’t need it. You feel guilty enough for projecting your anger onto Jungkook with a petty one-liner.

“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just…” Your throat closes around the rest of the words.

Before an uncomfortable silence can settle over the table, Namjoon inches the bottle of saké with his fingertips until it’s in front of him. “Dating is tricky. Jason sucks. It sucks that he hurt you. But you don’t have to twist yourself into whatever you think he wants anymore. And that…” He pours the pitiful remainder of alcohol into a shot glass and slides it towards you.“...is worth celebrating.”

Jungkook silently nods his head in agreement. It’s obvious you’re on the verge of tears and he doesn’t want to be the thing that pushes you over the edge.

A soft smile curls the corners of your mouth. “That’s true, but…” you slide the glass back towards him and steal the last of the banana tempura. “I can celebrate back at my apartment. Finish your water so you’ll be awake enough to join me. Both of you.”

Jungkook perks up and happily reaches for his water while Namjoon gives you a proud, yet confused look. It seems like a new start to something. What that is remains to be seen.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook watches intently as the colors of the city shine through the windows. He runs his fingers over the soft blanket you keep in the backseat, mouthing the words to the song softly playing from your dashboard. Namjoon has been talking nonstop from the passenger seat, which is fine with Jungkook since he’s feeling a little tired. The last session of the day was a bit more intense than intended, but the client left happy and covered in sweat. A success. But Jungkook is sore and exhausted. Physically and socially.

A sense of relief floods him at the memory of his conversation with you. Things may actually be okay from here. Who would have thought crashing your noodle night with Namjoon could have yielded such results?

His head bobs to the music as his eyes wander across the scenery outside until he grows bored and they drift to the interior of your car. A graduation tassel swings from your rearview mirror as you turn. He follows the movement of the tassel when it swings towards you and his eyes land on your face, or at least what he can see of it from this angle.

You look focused and calm while conversing with Namjoon but your posture is a bit rigid and your hands remain planted on the steering wheel in complete control. There’s something about this candid snapshot of your persona that puts him at ease. Your voice is a soft contrast to Namjoon’s, but equally enthusiastic.

He tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, pulling the blanket over his lap and twisting the fabric around his palm. Your eyes flicker in the rearview mirror, catching his. He gives a tiny wave and rests his head against the cushion, fighting the temptation to close his eyelids for longer than a second. The more he listens to you laugh, the more he finds himself smiling. It’s goofy.

It’s also kind of cute.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook is surprised when Yoongi answers your knock; he thought he would be asleep. He’s even more surprised when you make yourself at home on his couch and guilt him with a puppy dog pout to make you a drink, and he complies. When Jungkook asks the same, Yoongi tells him there’s beer in the fridge while measuring out the ingredients for your cocktail. The suspicious sour ache of jealousy stabs his gut as he moseys to the fridge but he quickly shakes it off, settling on the floor in front of the tv with a beer in hand.

After a couple hours of drinking, laughing, and playing Jackbox games with the three men, you’re feeling much better about everything. Life is good. Friends are good. Alcohol is very good.

It doesn’t take much to get you drunk. You’re about as much of a lightweight as Hobi and for better or worse everyone has come to know that fact. What’s nice about drinking in Yoongi’s apartment is that you don’t have to walk very far to get home. Things don’t get awkward with the three of them together; it’s actually kind of nice, like a mini Saturday night pregame.

Soon Namjoon and Yoongi are snoring on the couch with a movie playing in the background while you stand in the kitchen with Jungkook. He pours another drink for himself, though he knows it will mostly likely remain unfinished. Tomorrow may bring a massive hangover, but tonight has been surprisingly pleasant. He feels like he’s finally on okay footing with you, maybe even on the road to serious repair. Amazing how well you get along when inhibitions are replaced by inebriation. If that’s what it takes, he’s determined to keep it up.

As he turns his back to place the liquor bottle in the cabinet by the fridge, you swipe a sip of the drink he’s concocted. He spins around in time to see you wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he pouts.

“Blegh. You can have it. Yuck!” Your face screws up again at the aftertaste.

He drunkenly giggles as he slides the drink closer to him. “What, don’t like sour?”

“Too sour!” You reach for the water bottle Yoongi gave you hours ago and attempt to rinse the puckering sensation from your mouth.

Amused, he tilts his head and watches you take gulp after gulp. He purses his lips and holds back the comment itching to escape, deciding to enjoy a sip of his drink instead. You shimmy out of your hoodie and tie it around your waist and his eyes lazily follow the motion of your arms, noting a slight difference in their musculature. Some errant thought about their shape leads him back to an earlier unaddressed comment that he’s finally comfortable enough to prod you about.

“What kind of workouts are you doing?” he blurts.

Suddenly you feel very exposed. You straighten in your seat and suck in your gut, hyper aware of every imperfection of your body on display to someone so in shape. You immediately begin to fidget with the sleeves of the hoodie you just tied around your waist.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—” he pauses, exhaling a small breath and looking down at his drink as though he’s wary of continuing the thought.

“No, no it’s fine,” you assure him, too curious to say otherwise. “What is it?”

“When Namjoon said…” he sighs and takes a sip, smacking his lips and licking them before looking back to you. “I thought maybe I can prove myself to you by helping you come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You plant an elbow on the counter and lean on it.

“I want to,” he insists, reaching out for your arm.

His hand is like fire engulfing your skin and your eyelids flutter at the sensation. Instinctively you place a hand over his and rub your thumb anxiously over it. He looks down to where your thumb grazes his knuckles and then back up to your face with a surprised smile.

“Um… Everything,” you say, trying to sound as vague and nonchalant as possible so he doesn’t judge you for your lack of knowledge.

“Like, full body?”

“Uh...” You’ve managed to make a habit of going to his gym a few days a week while successfully avoiding him, but it seems that time is coming to an end. “I… machine.”

“Oh. Like at a gym? Did you join one?” He seems genuinely curious.

“Um, yeah.” Suddenly you pull your hand back when you realize the speed at which your thumb is moving.

“Which one?”

The more you say, the more suspicious you seem, but is saying less any better? Jungkook rests his elbow on the counter and simply looks at you but you don’t look back. A slow smile spreads his lips as the possibility dawns on him.

“Princess… Did you join Iron Kingdom?”

You puff your cheeks and force the air through the tiny opening of your mouth. You don’t offer any sort of confirmation and continue to avoid his gaze.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he playfully prods, drumming his fingers against your forearm.

“I… Yeah,” you admit, your voice small as you stare at the counter. “I didn’t want you to know.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“I don’t want to give you another thing to make fun of me for.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you.” When you don’t respond he tugs on your arm. The motion is enough to angle you towards him. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.”

“What?” you grumble, staring at your lap even as you face him.

He takes your hands in his and drunkenly waves them around. “Heeeeeeeey. Look at me.”

He pouts until you reluctantly drag your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” he says softly. “Even me.”

The shift in his demeanor catches you off guard and you subconsciously lean forward as you relax. “Well I started with Hwasa, but I was too sore to ask for another session with her.”

He nods sympathetically, clapping his hand over yours. “You should try again.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. I feel like…”

“Like?” he prods when you let the silence trail for a bit too long.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sigh. “I feel like I don’t belong there. I look so stupid reading the instructions on the machines. I don’t even think I’m doing it right.”

“What?” He makes a sound between a laugh and a grunt. “There’s nothing wrong with making sure you don’t hurt yourself. Nobody knows how to instantly do things. If they tell you they do, they’re lying.”

“Or they’re Namjoon,” you say with a roll of your eyes, glancing over at your snoring friend.

He smiles and clicks his tongue against his teeth in thought. “I didn’t know what I was doing when I started.”

“Really.”

You’re skeptical. It’s always seemed like he was born in a gym. Or maybe hatched. He’s kind of inhumanly gorgeous. Maybe he sprouted from a flower like a mythical god.

“For real. First time doing squats. I think it was gym class? Yeah, I was like twelve or thirteen. I was… not very athletic. Didn’t play sports or anything. Kind of shy. Didn’t really have a lot of friends either…”

The way he trails off makes your heart hurt. Puberty isn’t nice to most people. It’s hard to imagine a world where someone like Jungkook isn’t instantly popular and naturally fit. While you’re not exactly the same person you were at twelve, a lot of your interests and personality quirks have remained the same. You’re still painfully awkward at times. How did he manage to overcome something like that? Is it not ingrained in him like it is you?

“Just a big dork, you know?” He laughs. “I see this girl I had a crush on, Amber. She’s looking at me. I think I have to impress her. So I’m stacking up weight and I think I’m hot shit and go too fast. Know what happened?”

“Please don’t tell me you dropped it on your foot or something,” you plead, squeezing his palms at the way he’s building up the story. The secondhand embarrassment is too real.

“I hear a pop.”

“No!” you gasp, bringing your hands to your face as if you can stop the past from happening.

“And pain. So much pain. I don’t remember putting the weights down but I remember ending up on my back, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Oh no. Knees?”

“Worse.” He points down to his crotch. “Pulled a muscle in my groin. Had to sit the rest of the day with an ice pack on my junk. Was not fun. My point is: don’t give up. You learn more as you go. Give Hwasa another shot.”

His anecdote gives you pause but you’re desperate to cling to the comfort of your anxiety. “My free trial with her is almost up and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to keep at it.”

“More excuses,” he teases, taking a sip of his drink. “At this point I should just—” His eyes widen, a lightbulb practically forming above his head as he puts his cup down. “I’ll be your personal trainer!”

“Uhh…”

“No, no. It’s perfect. We’re friends now.” He smiles, proud of himself for finding a way to prove himself to you. “I can teach you everything you need to know about working out. I can set up a plan for you and figure out the best way to help you achieve your goals. Oh, man we’re gonna have to figure out your goals. What do you—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” you interrupt with a nervous laugh. “You’re missing the part where I still can’t afford it.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs your glass, holding it under the sink to refill it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll cover it.”

You’re stunned into silence as you observe the expanse of his back, searching the black fabric of his t-shirt for the definition of his muscles. He sets the cup in front of you, waiting for your agreement. When it doesn’t come, he second guesses himself. Did he overstep?

“I mean if you’re okay with that. Would-would you want to do that?”

The innocent drunken sparkle in his eyes makes your stomach do a flip. When you woke up this morning you hardly thought the day would include getting sloshed with Jungkook and having him offer to take you on as a fitness trainee. It’s like he’s opened himself up just enough for you to see the soft mess beneath. You like it. You like it a lot and you kind of hate yourself for it. While you don’t know if you can trust him past the evening, you find yourself hoping you can.

“You won’t make fun of me?” you ask timidly before bringing the cup of water to your lips.

“It’s my job not to make fun of you. We start where you’re at and go from there. And like I said, I’ll cover the fees for as long as you want. No pressure.” He smiles at you. “What do you think?”

“...Okay,” you murmur with a nod of your head. “If you’re serious, then I’m… I’m in!”

His lips part to expose his teeth as his grin spreads. “Yes!”

As he brings his hand up in a sign of victory, his knuckles knock against his glass. You reach for the cup with impaired reflexes, hands fumbling over the slippery surface in conjunction with his. The sour contents spill across the counter as the pair of you struggle to right the glass. While he’s quicker at getting the glass upright, your brain is faster at processing what to do next and you already have a paper towel in hand, wiping up the liquid as fast as possible.

Your eyes follow the spill to the edge of the counter where it’s flooded over the side. Acting on instinct rather than rational thought, you quickly press down where the liquid has begun to pool in his lap. As you fold the paper towel over, you rub frantically as if the action will keep the stain from setting into the fabric. He shifts in his seat and squeaks out a sound so small that you can’t actually tell whether it came from him or the chair.

It only dawns on you how inappropriate your actions are when you glance towards his face and find his wide eyes gazing back at you. His cheeks, already flushed from inebriation, seem twice as vivid and his mouth is parted slightly as though he means to speak, but he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t want to embarrass you, but it’s too late for that.

Your palm stills against his crotch as the shape beneath becomes clear in your mind. For a second you’re frozen, but your lips work quickly to mumble an apology. It feels like an eternity before you will your drunken fingers to release the paper towel. The clearing of Jungkook’s throat is followed by a tiny giggle, then a full on snort. A grin spreads across your lips and you soon follow him into a fit of laughter. You thank the universe for the small mercy of being drunk enough to push your embarrassment to the side for the time being.

“I wasn’t thinking!” you wheeze, tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” He laughs, dabbing his pants and shirt in the absence of your hand. As he stands he pulls the hem of his shirt away from his torso and looks down at it. “Really. It’s my fault I’m so…”

“Sticky?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a blatant flirtatious action thinly disguised as a joke as you eye the blot of liquor staining the lower half of his shirt.

Both of his eyebrows raise and a mischievous smile curls the corner of his lips. “...Wet.”

You consider his answer with a pleased hum and turn back to the counter to polish off the last of your water. You’re friends now, right? It can’t be that easy. But it kind of is. So what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting between friends?

Drunk brain, who happens to be a notorious hoe, assures you it’s great. Rational brain might disagree, but she’s taking a well-deserved nap. You’ve at least had a good night. You’re not sure it matters at this point who is giving you the attention you crave. It feels good. So good, in fact, you’re sure you can indulge drunk brain a little more.

You’re drawn to the inky shapes swirling around Jungkook’s bicep as he wipes the counter down. Every time your eyes begin to focus on an object marking his skin with some kind of meaning, he moves and you lose it. It’s brush strokes, isn’t it? You’ve definitely seen a paintbrush and mountains and a knife surrounded by roses. A swathe of grey and purple connects to each one you’ve seen, but you know there are more.

Before you can blurt that you’re dying to know how many he has and how bad it hurt to get them, he turns toward the sink and begins to work his t-shirt up his torso. You watch in awe as the toned muscles of his back are exposed. The image of the bright phoenix does little to hide their definition.

Trying to will yourself to look away is of no use; he’s hot and you’re drunk enough to acknowledge that fact. Of course he peeks at you just as the shirt slips over his head to find you open-mouthed and dazed, ogling him as though there isn’t any shame in the world that could pull your gaze from him. He turns to the fridge to give you a moment to compose yourself, nabbing a water bottle from the shelf in the process. You’re clearly not ready for the way he quickly spins on the balls of his feet to face you.

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

Your fingers hang in the air suspiciously until you lazily drop them. But Jungkook dons a toothy grin and has the audacity to look shy. He mockingly shields his chest from you with the shirt clutched in his hands.

“Princess! Are you… checking me out?”

Somehow you don’t let the fire in your face turn your brain to ash.“Pfft, no.”

“What’re you doing, then?” he teases with a laugh as he sits, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Counting,” you reply simply, brow furrowed in concentration. To drive the point home, you poke at his flesh everywhere you can make out an object drawn into its surface.

“How many?” he wonders, watching with cloudy, amused eyes.

“Mmm…” You trail your finger down his arm and back up, following the curve of the brushstroke around his shoulder. “Can’t tell if this counts as one.”

He shrugs and rests his head on his palm as he leans against the counter. “What do you think?”

You hesitate when he quickly quirks a brow.

“I think… A lot.”

“Definitely accurate,” he says with a grin.

Awkward laughter steers the pair of you towards your waters. The TV in the background provides enough noise to steal your focus; you’re grateful for the distraction from the attractive man beside you. Drunk brain is telling you to touch him again, to grab his hand, to feel the touch of someone just for the night, to ruin every good thing this night has started to rebuild between you. Anything to stave off the emptiness of your bed, the 2AM thoughts of failure, and the drunken desperation to find someone, anyone, who will fall in love with whatever image you happen to project on your dating profile.

Heart pounding wildly in your chest and blood rushing through your ears, your fingertips tap against the countertop as they inch closer to where his arm rests. Luckily your futile attempts at nonchalance go unnoticed. Jungkook anxiously turns his water bottle over in his hands, trying to gather words in his brain before freeing them from his mouth.

“So…” he begins.

You jump at the sudden sound and retract your hand while he’s not paying you any mind.

“I was thinking. About that guy…”

You wish you could at least pretend you don’t know who he’s talking about. You’ve vented plenty tonight, but still your heart sinks. Deleting Jason’s digital footprint from your life was simple and quick, but the feelings of rejection and disappointment that swirl in the back of your mind spill forward the longer his pause continues.

“I know this probably means nothing coming from me. But I just— I know you liked him, but you can do better.“

Your posture stiffens at his reassurance and you find yourself grateful he’s not looking at you. Do you deserve better?

“You deserve better,” he affirms, as if somehow aware of your internal struggle.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as you stare down your glass.

It's cry hours, isn’t it?

Realizing you don’t believe him, he takes a deep breath and nudges you with his elbow. “Hey.”

“What.” You refuse to look up because you know you’re on the verge of an irrational stream of tears over some guy you hardly knew. It’s stupid and you know it. But the wet warmth coating your eyes tells you it’s coming regardless.

“I’m... sorry that you don’t feel like you do. Some people can’t get over the weight of their own shit. But that doesn’t mean it’s on you to pick it up for them. If they can’t even bother to carry themselves to meet you halfway, then they’re not worth the effort.”

It’s a perfect time for your heart to seize up and it takes the opportunity to do so. The advice he offers doesn’t stave off the tears, but it resonates deep within you. Namjoon said something similar. It makes you ache to hear it again from someone else. It just leads you back to the same questions you keep asking yourself. What’s so wrong with you that people don’t even want to try? Is it your personality? Physicality? Is it a lack of confidence? What is it?

‘I can’t even get a shitty guy to like me. Maybe I’m the one not worth the effort.’ You don’t dare say those words out loud. Pity isn’t something you’re looking for. A warm body to fill your bed maybe, but not pity.

“Sounds easy when you say it like that,” you murmur, trying in vain to will the tears not to fall. You’re quick to swipe at them and force a smile. “I guess I have trouble giving up on people. It’s not that I’m naive. I try to be realistic. But no matter how many times I get fucked over I just... hope for the best in people. I can’t help it.”

He pats your arm reassuringly. “That’s why you deserve better.”

If only it was as simple as hearing those words and magically being able to believe it. A big chunk of your confidence has crumbled away and there’s no clear path to restoration. As the warmth of his palm comes to rest against your arm, you place your hand over his and squeeze.

“I don’t know if I believe it,” you pause and thoughtfully add, “but thanks for saying it.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he offers a tiny, “You’re welcome.”

A shaky chuckle passes your lips. All of his features seem to soften the more you look at them. Maybe it’s the drunken gloss coating his big brown eyes or the way his lips slightly part as he looks back at you. The tightly coiled nerves in your belly urge you to unravel.

Although it's a subtle gesture, he licks his lips as he smiles and it practically seals your fate. If you don't leave now you're bound to do something you'll regret.

"It's late. I should sleep."

Or masturbate.

The speed at which you launch yourself from the seat is unpleasant. You're not sure what's worse: the dizzying vertigo or waves nausea sloshing in your gut. Jungkook's reflexes may be delayed but he's a steady mass of muscle the moment you reach out to steady yourself.

"Whoa. You okay?"

"Maybe," you mumble, finding yourself drawn to the heat radiating from his skin. Instead of walking away, slump down to rest your cheek against his shoulder and sling an arm around him. You might be drunker than you thought. "I don't know."

"Hmm. What do you need, princess?"

"Just wanna stop spinning."

His stance shifts to better accommodate the additional weight you press against him.

"How about you take over Yoongi's bed tonight," he suggests softly. "He's passed out anyway."

"No, I should go home." You peel your cheek from the warmth of his skin.

“You gonna make it there?”

“Yes,” you say indignantly. The world may be a bit wobbly right now, but you’re certain you can handle the short stroll down the hall.

"Okay.” He smiles, loosening his hold. As you step back your foot catches on the leg of the chair and it drags loudly against the floor.

Despite Jungkook’s attempt to keep you standing by grabbing at your arms, he loses his balance and he drops to his knees. The chair clatters to the floor before your ass does. Luckily his grip keeps your back and head far from impact, but you’re too cramped to be comfortable.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Those big, dark doe eyes of his are frozen in fear and a frown adorns his face. He looks so serious it’s ridiculous.

You can’t help but laugh, wiggling backwards to make space between his body and the heat steadily building between your legs. “I’m fine. Stop making that face.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” He sits back on his feet and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

He breaks into a fit of giggles when you dramatically mimic his expression. You roll back onto your elbows, making another ridiculous face to further mock him.

“No, no. It’s more like…” Jungkook takes the opportunity to lean over you, reaching with one hand to squeeze your cheeks to pucker your lips. You blow a disjointed raspberry at him before pulling his hand off to the side.

While the clamor of the fallen chair did nothing to rouse the men on the couch, the sound of Jungkook’s hearty laughter is loud enough to disturb the rhythmic snores of Namjoon.

Jungkook sits back on his heels and peeks over the countertop. He seems miles away, even as you sit up and scoot in to bring yourself closer. Laughter fades into a quiet hum as Namjoon’s snoring resumes.

You're lost in the abyss of his gaze as he turns his head to look back at you. All that remains in your brain at this point is a foggy desire to tug on the silky spirals of his ebony hair until he presses himself against you one more time.

Your hand settles for following the curves of his bicep instead, wondering how it might feel to be wrapped within his embrace. Some might say liquor makes you bold and stupid, and they're right. They should say it. But it also makes you feel invincible, like a goddamn glowing Mario star power-up.

"Princess?"

Enraptured, his eyes follow the motion of your hand as it slithers around his arm and squeezes. Unable to ignore the prompt, he answers with a flex against your palm. His ego swells when you shiver and noticeably hold your breath.

You know it's a mistake. You know it goes against all of your sober judgement, but you find yourself doing it anyway. It doesn't matter that you still harbor a grudge that holds your heart hostage. Drunk hoe vibes are taking the wheel. You’re tired, drunk as hell, and just want to feel wanted. And he's here.

Every fiber of your inebriated being is singing in unison: Why the fuck not?

Heartbeat pounding against your eardrums, you attempt to gauge his reaction as you lean towards him. It's hard to tell from beneath half-lidded eyes, but you think he's leaning towards you too. If he isn't you suppose you can always play it off like you're just a mess. It's not far from the truth. Focusing on the tiny freckle below his lip, you allow yourself to finally close your eyes and go for it.

But the universe isn’t here for your dumb boozy bitch mistakes.

The front door swings open with the sound of jingling keys dropping to the floor. It snaps you back to reality and you freeze, realizing there's no defense that will save you. Jungkook is quick to disengage, poking his head above the counter to acknowledge Hoseok’s presence with a wave. But his friend is completely enamored with the company he’s ushering towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, baby? How bad?” Hoseok whispers to the giggling girl wrapped around his arm.

He pins the stranger against the door to drag his tongue across her neck. Their bodies move rhythmically in a slow grind, a precursor for what’s likely to come. Jungkook purses his lips. How long until one of them notices him watching? It’s not until the girl moans Hoseok’s name softly that Jungkook spares a panicked look towards you.

Oh shit.

You gesture for him to get down before he draws their attention. The last thing you want to explain is why you’re on your knees in Hoseok’s kitchen with a very shirtless Jungkook standing close by. He obliges your silent request, squatting down beside you.

“Feel how hard you made me?” Hobi chuckles quietly.

The girl giggles, her voice growing closer. “You gonna fuck me right here or what?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Naughty girl. What if my roommate wakes up? Looks like he has a friend over too. You really want them to see what a dirty slut you are?”

You can hear her giggle as he directs her where to go, failing to keep his voice down so you hear every filthy thing he says after. Your hands fly to cover your mouth. Is your skin made of lava? You want to blame it on the close proximity to Jungkook, but the only thing you can imagine is Hoseok’s dick and the eager mystery woman about to be impaled by it. Can you scrub your brain of this memory? How are you supposed to look at him after this?

Jungkook watches your face carefully, trying his hardest not to laugh. Your eyes look so big he’s pretty sure they could roll out of your skull any second. Are you really so innocent? The way you cover your mouth says you are, but maybe it’s just the shock. Maybe you’re just trying to not laugh. Or scream. Or breathe? It kind of looks like you might pass out.

Are you gonna make it, princess? he wonders.

Once you hear Hoseok's bedroom door close, you fuss your hands over your hair and scramble to your feet, releasing a big exhale. The hushed words fall from your lips while you scurry away like a timid mouse. "I should go."

Despite being too far to make contact, he reaches out as you round the counter. "Wait—"

As soon as the word leaves his mouth he struggles to come up with the rest of his statement. There’s no reason to keep you here, except to maybe laugh a little about what just happened to smooth over any second-hand embarrassment. So why doesn’t he want you to go?

He swallows down the blank space caught in his throat and searches every last crevice of his brain for something of import to say. Guilt weighs his gut down, though there isn’t a clear cause. He’s probably screwed something up again without realizing it.

“Thanks for giving me another shot,” he says softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief and offer a tiny smile as you half turn, your hand already on the door handle. “Don’t blow it.”

He nods with a smile. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumble.

As soon as the door is closed you practically sprint down the hall to lock yourself within your apartment. Maybe it will also lock out all the mistakes your brain has made tonight.

The world feels colder now that you’re not pressed against the human-shaped heater that is Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about him makes your heart swell and ache at the same time. Regardless of how badly you wish you'd asked him to bed, you know loneliness is fleeting and guilt would be a far worse feeling to be saddled with.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook picks up the fallen chair, finding your soft, worn hoodie draped over it. Rubbing a thumb over the material, he considers running it back to you, but he can't remember which door is yours. It's not like he's been here often enough to know. Instead he slips his arms through the sleeves before flipping the hood over his head.

He settles on the floor in the space he previously claimed for the night, pulling a blanket out from under Yoongi's ass. Yoongi rolls his head up, a scowl on his features though his eyes remain closed. He grumbles but lies down, facing the couch.

Jungkook regards his friend for a moment before deciding to drape the blanket over him instead of claiming it for himself. Jungkook rolls onto his side and fluffs the throw pillow under his head. As he watches the credits roll on the TV, he nuzzles into your sweater.

He closes his eyes, thinking of you. He knows he shouldn't linger on the little occurrences of the night, especially with how foggy his brain is. He can't trust anything about his memory.

Still he thinks of the way your fingers trailed along his arm and curled tightly around his bicep. He lets himself dwell on the tiny sound you made, the involuntary tremble of your body, and the subsequent hitch in your breath.

He smiles and inhales the subtle scent you've left behind. A new spark of adrenaline fans flames that inflate his ego, spreading warmth from his stomach up into his chest. The world may wobble around him right now, but the little magical warmth within his gut helps him comfortably drift off to dreamland like he's the world's most immovable object.

#smutcentralnet #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #bts fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #bts fluff #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic

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genshingarbage · 3 years

Note

Could I request any boys of your choice where they’ve had an exhausting day and their s/o says they should take a nap on their lap? Thank you!

Cute boi hours again? Yes <3 Sleepy time awe! I am gonna pick a very select few that i think this works well with, so i hope you're okay with the hand picked few ;) - Mod Diluc

Rest My Love.

|| Head Cannons ||

Kazuha/Diluc/Xiao/Kaeya

Kazuha

He was beat, exhausted and aching, every muscle in his body ached like something fierce. But, who ever said the life of a lone wandering samurai was gonna be a breeze? Yea, that's right- no one. Because it sure as hell wasn't. He was use to feeling this way yet somehow it still made him just as grouchy as the first time.

He walked into the small building that was titled as your homestead and yawned; stretching his arms out he heard a few odd bones pop from the pressure, it relieved some of his tension but not nearly enough for it to be actually satisfying. With a huff he removed some of his more heavy going clothing, including his shoes, till he was more loose and relaxed.

He shuffled slowly into the house, trying not to wake you. You were his lover and so him coming to your home was somewhat normal now, but he often was away for large periods of time, and he never liked to disturb you. Specially when you're busy. Which you were, you had your nose deep between the pages of a gripping story written so entrancing like from a book. So much for his first theory that you'd be asleep at this time, huh?

He tried to creep past you as you read, but you wasn't born yesterday. So with a roll of your eyes and a soft exhale from your nose you spoke out. "Kazuha. Welcome home hun." You didn't even bother to turn your head around to him, you knew fully well he was frozen in his steps now, eyes wide like a doe caught in headlights. He blinked a few times before sorting himself back to his normal standing position and chuckling awkwardly, a breif rub to the back of his neck ensued.

"Ah, yea, I'm uh- yea. I'm home, thanks Y/N. I really didn't wanna disturb you there." He spoke softly and with great regret; like he'd just committed an awful crime. You simply closed the book after having bent the tip of the page you were on, as to know where to start off when you return to it, and placed the item down on the small table infront of your sofa. "Kazuha, it's fine... I was only reading a book." You chuckled gently.

"I know, but... it felt wrong to interupt you so abruptly specially when you seemed so into it-" you'd twisted your torso ever so slightly so your eyes could lay on his now, your heart almost broke, he looked absolutely shattered- like all life was drained from him. Just what had this crazy man gotten up to in his absence? "Kazuha- oh my goodness. Look at you! You're about to pass out."

He smiled politely and waved his hand side to side as if dusting your worry back into the wind. "Nah, I'm a lil tired that's all. I'm gonna have a lie down, I'll be right as rain after." He went to go back to making his way to the exit of your living room, that is until you called out ever so gently. "Or well, I wouldn't mind if you rested your head on my lap." A faint blush flushed your cheeks. He turned to face you yet again. Blinking several times over again.

"Really?" He tilted his head almost like a curious puppy, he has no idea how cute he is sometimes. "I mean, sure why not? You've not been home for over a month. I do get lonely ya know, the company would feel nice, and your presence is always warm and welcoming." You smiled sweetly at him and he returned the expression with full earnest. Nodding softly he made his way to the sofa, where you rested, and now reshuffled and organised yourself to get into a more comfy position.

It wasn't long before he was laying on his side with his head nestled into your lap, breathing softly as your hand gently rested adorn his head of hair. "Mmh. You're right, this beats sleeping alone any day." He hummed sleepily to you, by the way his voice was giving out you could tell he was close to succumbing to his slumber already. With a gentle smile still planted across your lips you hushed him softly.

"Shh, rest now. My Kazuha." You began to hum a quaint little lullaby that had him snoring in under three minutes. This man, he works himself so hard, but still, it's one of the reasons you love him so much, the fact he's hard working and never gives in. And you have the comfort in your mind of knowing whenever he gets this tired again, he'll have you here to be by his peaceful sleeping side everytime. Now and forever.

Diluc

The sky was a beautiful orange and red tone, the colours mixed so beautifully, with the white fluffy clouds scattered around too, it looked like a stunning evening. You were sat alone at the dinner table again, your chin resting on your opened palm, your eyelids half shut to block the rays of the last bit of presence from the sun.

The candles had long since burned out and the beautiful sweet honeyed roast you'd prepare with such delicacy and tender care was going cold. Diluc was suppose to be home over thirty-five minutes ago, he promised he'd make it in time for whatever dinner the maids threw together tonight, he wasn't aware you'd taken it upon yourself to lovingly prepare tonight's meal for him.

You couldn't be mad at the man; or hold a grudge for that matter, you knew what type of person he was, you knew he wasn't one for sticking to plans and promises, he simply couldn't be with the work he has, not to mention his little sun down hobby that you became privy too after several years with the crimson haired gentleman. If there was one thing you were grateful for, it was the fact you knew without doubt he truly did love you. And in a way that was enough for you.

It was sundown now and your dinner had long been since tidied up by the maids, with a somewhat solemn look to your face you'd decided to go to bed early that night. Knowing Diluc, he wouldn't be home for hours to come anyway. Your eyes were just starting ache and your eyelids were starting to feel heavy for you now. Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth softly you let your body sink further into the warm embracing sheets.

Click.

Your eyes slowly opened back up when you heard the all too familiar noise of your bedroom door opening, narrowing your eyes slightly to help adjust to the dim glow of the room, the small aid of illumination being provided solely by your nightstand candle. It wasn't hard to make out who it was however, since his deep red hair practically danced from the slight glow of the flicking flame.

"Diluc." It came out more like a whisper which you never intended for it too, but you were so gripped by tiredness now it was hard to sound more awake at the given circumstances. "Sorry for waking you my dear, wasn't my intention." You hummed softly in response and then watched as best as you could as he removed his attire and shoes, stripping down to just his boxers.

Gripping the band that kept his hair up was the last part, with a tug his hair flew down and waved apart, you kept a watchful eye on him. As it was when his hair was down that he was always at his most tired and vulnerable mental state now. "The maids told me Y/N." He still sounded strict, or at least he was trying his best too. But his voice wavered in every sense of the word.

The bed dipped beside you as his weight was added to the mattress now, a small groan escaping his lips. You knew what he meant, it wasn't a surprise the maids told him you'd prepared the dinner today, you'd just wish they'd not sometimes, to avoid adding more stress to the man's poor ordeals. "It's fine, it was just a small attempt. I'm not exactly the best cook to begin wit-"

The poorly sounding wince from him cut you off, the failed attempt to stifle it and keep it under wraps didn't go unnoticed. You narrowed your eyes at the man beside you in bed now, and then you saw. He was littered with cuts and bruises, they surely must hurt, why didn't he say anything? Scratch that. He never tells you anyway, thinking its better that way. Silly man.

With a gentle huff you shook your head, shuffling your weight and sitting up ever so slightly, your back pressing against the several puffed pillows under you. "Enough of that. Come here darling." It was your turn to sound strict however, and for once he didn't fight back. Your heart tugged at you slightly as you felt the weight shifting around beside you and then were suddenly graced with the feeling of his head nuzzling into your lap.

You took it upon yourself to softly begin to caress his head, letting your hand stroke and massage the man's hair and scalp. The groans and sighs that left him were evidence enough he was in a blissful state right now, your sweet Diluc. Always putting his life on the line to protect those less fortunate than him, when will he learn? That his life matters just as much. Sigh.

You heard a soft mutter from him, something along the lines of 'sorry' and 'dinner'. But he was already taken by the nights calming embrace to be formulating anything coherent now, so you closed your eyes with another soft shake of your head and continued to massage his head. Till both you and your hand laid still, silent, asleep. Whatever he'd done tonight, whatever reason he'd missed dinner, it didn't matter. As long as he loved you it was enough. It always has been, it always will be.

Xiao

The stars twinkled softly an slowly, looking so entrancing from down below, the dark blue sky washing above you with the dazzling twinkles looking like small fire flies dancing around. You stood there, your knee bent slightly as your weight was supported by the banister of the top balcony to Wangshu Inn. Any minute now, you thought to yourself calmly.

And is if on que a sudden and harsh breeze blew past you, followed up with a loud thud. You turned your head ever so slightly, seeing the young looking yaksha lifting back up from his crouch landing position. "Welcome home honey." you said somewhat stone like, to which you got a simple sounding 'Tsk' as response, as he chucked his spear lazily behind him, to which it dissolved away instantly.

You rolled your eyes to the quiet scoff that greeted you back, shaking your head slowly, your eyes went back to focus on the landscape below you from the viewpoint of the balcony. It was so peaceful and beautiful. "How has your day been?" You decided to question him further, all while remaining your focus elsewhere.

"Fine." he responded in short. This type of reply was normal to you now, he wasn't the talkative type, despite having been the first to say to you he loved you. "Well, that's good then." you said back in your normal sweet tone now. You could tell from that tone in his voice he was exhausted, he didn't have to say or do anything, you could just tell.

Thinking it was best to leave now and give him his privacy you turned away from the balcony and began to walk to the exit. "I will let you rest my love, see you soo-"

"Wait."

His voice was louder than its ever been round you, the faint flush on his cheeks was evidence enough he never intended for it to come out so loudly from his own mouth. "Xiao?" you turned back round, seeing him stood there looking like a somewhat lost lamb, it was damn cute.

"S...stay with me, ... please."

His voice, so soft, so sweet, so gentle. You felt your heart crack slightly, your poor adeptus, he must've been rushed off his feet tonight. The dark bags forming under his eyes said all you needed to hear.

Chewing your bottom lip softly you breathed in and then walked over to him slowly. "Xiao..." you whispered his name lovingly, his eyes met with yours and for a brief moment the air left your lungs, the sight of his exhausted face so close to you, actively seeking comfort within you, it was enough to melt the coldest of icebergs.

Letting your hand slip into his with a gentle squeeze, a small smile on your lips you led him down the stairs of the Inn, into your bedroom, a tidy and quaint little sleeping quarter. He needed to rest, he is pushing himself too much, and if you do not take action, he never will.

Climbing onto the bed once you'd abandoned your shoes on the carpet you looked up at him, laying in a relaxing position. The red on his cheeks only flushed deeper and darker, and you couldn't help but laugh softly. Such a lewd mind, oh my, you never expected him to get the wrong idea over a situation like this.

"Xiao- no... not that." you chuckled at his confused expression, he was so alien to the concept of just touch in general now, that to him he sees it so black and white, being close means being intimate, otherwise why get close? So it was up to you to show him the ways of being human again.

You let your hand softly pet and stroke your lap and he raised his brow, but seeing the sudden light in his eyes spark showed you he caught on to what you really were aiming for. So he hesitantly dipped onto the bed next to you, he was tense and his movements were awkward, but he eventually shuffled his head and body to lay down with his head nestled softly into your lap.

"Is this... okay?" he muttered it nervously, like he was scared the slightest movement would shatter everything around him. You looked down at him and gently kissed your fingers, pressing them against his lips in response. "Shh, rest my love, you need it." Just to further add to what you were saying you let your hand gently rub the outer ridge of his ear.

The blush eventually left his cheeks, the tensed muscles finally went lax and his breathing grew heavier and more unguarded, with a pleased hum from your lips you closed your eyes too and began to succumb to the sweet calling of slumber too.

As long as he has you, you will always be there to help[ him, he may be an adeptus, a yaksha, but you? He is just as human as you or anyone else. Wrath filled or not. He is and always will be your sweet little adeptus. Your perfect lover. Your Xiao.

Kaeya

Another late night and you sat cuddled up on the sofa scanning through several paintings, more specifically paintings that you had done over the course of several months. It was a hobby of yours, but with the aid of Albedo giving you tips and throwing you pointers here and there you'd become surprisingly good at it; who would've guessed you'd secretly be an artist in hiding? Not you that's for sure.

It was fun enough to help tide over the unsettling impatience that always started to bubble under your skin at least, specially on nights like this, where Kaeya, your boyfriend, who also happened to be the Calvary Captain for the Knights of Favonius was out at an ungodly late time, dealing with a suspicion of criminal activities, within the borders of Mondstadt.

He never broke his promises to you thus far, of which were he will always return safely home to you, but it never did fully destroy the raging thunder of worry that often seized your mind on a daily, who could blame you? The man was always in such dangerous predicaments. Who knew if this morning, or any morning for that matter, where you kissed him goodbye, would be the last time you ever would see his face when you waved him off?

It isn't his fault you know this, but you do wish that sometimes he would be cut slack, just a little, so you could for once not have to distract yourself with idle glances of your paintings while waiting for his return. If only every now and then Jean, The Acting Grand Master would just let him have a day off-

Click.

You jumped slightly upon hearing the noise of your front door not open, but actually close. Turning your head you saw Kaeya stood there, arms covering his chest in a crossed way, a raised brow prominent as he glared down at you. "How long have you been worrying?" His voice sounded so flat and monotone, almost a hint of exhaustion. Was he growing tired of your over worried nature?

"I... uh. uhm..." You were at a loss for words, how long had you been worrying exactly? Two, three hours now? You were unsure of the answer yourself. He shook his head and sighed out slowly, it was long and drawn out; he must be so tired from his work today, seeing you up at this hour acting like a child probably doesn't help his situation in the least.

You looked down sadly, feeling ashamed and guilty of yourself because you do this oh so often to him, he always prays your in bed, safely tucked up and lost in your own dreams before he gets home, but you never are, you're always awake and worried, your face far from the peaceful look he often daydreams you having.

"It doesn't matter anymore my little petal." He hums softly as he walks around the sofa to get within arms reach, crouching onto his own weight to scoop you up, your mind in shock you let the paintings slip from your grip and pool around the seat you were just in and the floor underneath you. "Whe- Kaeya?"

"Shh, it is time to head to the bedroom." He spoke so matter factually, which left you eyes wide and beet red, to which he glanced down and a smug chuckle slipped from him. "For sleep Y/N." You relaxed instantly, a sigh escaping you. "Unless of course, you want the other thing?" You squirmed, embarrassed beyond belief, he loved to teased you. "Quit it Kaeya!" You pouted at him, to which he just chuckled at lightly, planting a soft kiss on your head.

Once in the bedroom he drops you so you fall and sink into the softness of your mattress and covers, to which he joins you quickly after. Now both in bed he simply huffs as he turns and crawls around before you feel his head find its preferred resting place; your lap. You smile and gently chuckle. "May i?" He asks just a tad bit too late for permission.

"You're already laying there Kaeya, bit late for the formalities now." You roll your eyes and turn to blow the candle out, leaving you both in darkness and silence, just your soft and gentle breathing in unison as you stroke and massage his head, to which he groans gently in delight too. He is so sweet when he sleeps on your lap like this, you feel closer to him now than you ever normally do, unless you involve the factor of intimacy sexually.

Its calming and sweet, and it helps you remember that he will always keep his promise to you,

He will always come home safely.

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smoochkooks · 3 years

Text

—christmas cream(pie) ; (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: established relationship, smut, fluff

⟶ word count: 3.6k

⟶ summary: a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend's parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, food play, finger-sucking, spit kink, dirty talk, oral (f) receiving, slight choking but nothing too extreme, unprotected sex, creampie, jungkook being the sweetest boyfriend on the earth and your emotional support, tooth-rooting domestic fluff:(

a/n: hi!! this is my little christmas present for you. hope you enjoy what my brain came up with yesterday<3 ps. i also dont know what kind of fic title this is.

Christmas secure a top spot on your own self-made list of holidays. You enjoy practically every aspect of it. The food, decorating your house, songs, movies, the whole magical aura of warmth and love – you name it.

But this year though, you're fiddled with anxiety because it's the first time you're going to celebrate with your boyfriend Jungkook and his parents.

You've been dating for two lovely years, living in a shared apartment for almost six months but somehow you've never spent any major holiday together. Until now, it actually felt like a step bigger than moving in. Choosing to be with your families and celebrate separately was never an issue for both of you.

And foolishly, you thought this year would be no like the other, that you'll kiss your sweet boyfriend goodbye before Christmas Eve and reunite after the whole shenanigans would end. But to your surprise, Jungkook had different plans for you.

“Y-your parents did what?”

“They invited us for a Christmas dinner.” he repeated calmy, completely unfazed by the pure shock marring your features.

He was sprawled on the couch, hair messy and falling onto his forehead because he had been avoiding barbershops lately (it wasn’t like you minded it–if anything, it made him look even sexier). He was wearing your favorite pair of sweats that had a soy sauce stain on the left knee and a simple black t-shirt, yet for you he looked like an angel sent from the above and devil reincarnated at the same time. So deliciously domestic and soft it almost made you wanna jump him right here and there, if it wasn't for the more nagging matters that you had yet to discuss with him.

“But,” you stuttered, brain too consumed by nerves to help you formulate coherent sentences. “I was visiting your parents in Busan over summer.”

“Yeah, but it's been a while and they really want to see you again,” he said, raising from his spot. He came up to you, his tall, lean body towering over your form. The moment you saw his sparkly doe eyes boring holes into yours, you knew you were approximately twenty seconds from giving in. “Pretty please.” he tried again, palms cupping your flushed cheeks until you had no choice but to agree.

“Okay.”

Jungkook grinned in response and leaned to press a chaste kiss onto your lips. “Love you, baby.” He tasted like spicy noodles and soda but you ignored it, mustering a small smile.

“Love you too.” you said, always meaning those three little words because truly, you could never resist Jeon Jungkook and his charms. He had you wrapped around his finger more than you'd ever admit and you'd simply do anything to make him happy, even if that meant stressing over a Christmas dinner with his parents.

“They really like you, ___. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook murmured upon kissing your nose, and then forehead. “My mom is already so excited to see you. She said she would make an apple pie because you once mentioned you liked it.”

You leaned into his touch, slightly less angry you had been surprised with a revelation like that but at the same time still apprehensive and filled with nerves. “You aren't making this easier, you know?” you asked.

Jungkook sent you an apologetic smile. “You're amazing, baby. You don't need to convince my parents again that you're the right person for me,” he said, hands finding purchase on your waist and pulling you closer to him. “All you have to do is smile and compliment my mom's cooking skills. And maybe ask dad about fishing. You know he's been crazy about it lately.”

Easier said than done, you thought to yourself. Jungkook was a natural when it came to bewitching people. Your parents adored him because he knew all the right words to make them fall for his charms. He didn’t have to try hard or pretend to be someone else in order to be accepted as their daughter’s partner.

You, on the other hand, were on a different side of the spectrum. No matter how many times Jungkook reassured you of your worth, you still had a lot of insecurities to deal with. That was just who you were as a person. Maybe it was why you clicked so well together. You needed someone to be your second Sun.

“You got his.” With a final kiss onto the crown of your head, Jungkook left you standing in the middle of the living room, and all you could think about was a fricking apple pie and finding new ways to impress your boyfriend's parents.

Hence way you're currently in the kitchen, blender in your right hand as you mix the ingredients for the most extra chocolate cake you've ever made, determination written all over your features like you’re competing in the final Bake Off episode.

And why is that? Because your brain couldn't let you sleep peacefully at night if you didn't decide to bake your own cake for Jungkook's mother. It started innocently, slowly getting information out of your boyfriend about his parents' favorite food. Of course, you had to be clever about it, so he wouldn't suspect anything too early into the game. That's why after asking a round of rather specific questions you lured him into a blowjob because you know he usually loses his goddman mind after a good dick sucking.

Content with your plan, you're now a day before the Christmas dinner, Jungkook's mother's beloved cake almost ready to be put into the oven.

“Babe, I'm home!” you hear Jungkook calling from the corridor. You sent him to do some (un)necessary grocery shopping so you could have a time for yourself to prepare the cake without him looking over your shoulder and analyzing your every move. You really hate when people do that because you’re more likely to screw something when you’re being watched.

“Let me taste it then,” he says, grabby hands reaching for the bowl but you quickly swat them away.

“I'm here!” you shout back, unplugging the blender once you're satisfied with your chocolate cream.

“What is the smell?” Jungkook asks, entering the kitchen. “Oh,” he quips, placing grocery bags on the floor. “You made this?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, dipping a finger into the bowl and then putting it into your mouth. It tastes good, not too sweet but at the same time it still has a strong chocolate flavor. Perfect.

“Wash your hands first.”

“Wait,” You can almost hear the gears shifting in his brain. His grip on your waist tightens as you desperately try to stifle the laugh babbling in your throat. “This is my mom's favorite cake.”

Jungkook dramatically salutes you, even though you see him smirking under his breath. Once his hands are all clean and dry, you feel his arms encircling your body from the back. “Is this for me?” he murmurs, obviously referring to the cake.

“Nope. It's for tomorrow's Christmas dinner.”

That’s why you break into a smile, pulling him for a quick peck. “You can taste my cream now.” you say.

“Great observation.”

“And you said you were making it for the Christmas dinner,” Jungkook continues, “Which means you did this purposely.” he finishes, twirling your body so you're now facing him.

“You said she would make me an apple pie so I thought I could reciprocate the kindness and do the same,” An innocent smile tugs at your lips. “Besides, the more food the better.”

Jungkook snorts. “So here's why you were asking me all those weird questions lately.”

Your eyes widen. “You paid attention to that?”

“Babe, I might be a simple man who enjoys seeing his girlfriend sucking his dick but it doesn't mean I don't listen to you,” he says, sounding slightly offended but you know that deep down he's amused by the whole situation. “You didn't have to do that, you know?”

You let out a long sigh. “I know but... I just felt so weird. Your parents are so happy to see us, they are doing all those preparations and I couldn't stop thinking about doing something to impress them in return,” you murmur. “So they wouldn't think it preparing a whole celebratory dinner for their son and his girlfriend was actually pointless.” you add in a smaller voice, dropping your head down. 

“Baby,” Jungkook coos, fingers grasping your chin so you could look him in the eye again. “You're an amazing person. My parents know that too. You don't have to prove them your worth. Ever.”

His words make you relax visibly. You don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have Jungkook by your side. He’s just being himself, showing you his extremely caring side as he usually does when you feel down but somehow you’re more thankful for this now.

You dip your index finger into the cream. Then, making sure his eyes are trained on your face, you bring your finger up and envelop with your lips, purposely sucking on it obscenely. “Mmm,” you nothing but moan. “It’s really good.”

“That sounded awfully sexual.”

“No, it did not! You're just perverted.”

“But you love me anyway, don't you?”

You snort at his stupid remark. Suddenly, a not-so-innocent idea pops in your mind and you wonder who’s actually the one with more inappropriate thoughts running through their head. Jungkook might enjoy teasing you on daily basis, but a girl can have her fun too, right?

Jungkook's eyes darken seeing your little stunt you’ve decided to pull today. He bites the inside of his cheek, before saying,”’I know what game you’re playing.”

“I’m not doing anything.” you respond, feigning innocence. Before you can dive for more cream, Jungkook grabs your wrist and stops you.

Bingo.

When he takes his two fingers and plunges them into the cream, you know exactly what’s coming next, the adrenaline and excitement pumping through your veins. He brings his fingers up towards your face and you have to fight an urge to stay still, waiting for his instructions like the good girl you obviously are. “Open up, baby.”

You oblige immediately, mouth falling open and tongue out. He pushes his fingers inside, sweet, chocolate cream filling your taste buds. “Suck.” he says simply, eyes fixated on your lips. You do it without a second thought, swirling your tongue around his digits and making sure to lick every last drop of the substance.

When he decides he can't take it anymore, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and before you can even blink, he crashes his lips onto yours; fast, messy and unforgiving, thrusting his tongue inside to play with yours. His motives are clear: you aren’t leaving the kitchen without getting properly fucked.

“So sweet,” he murmurs against your lips, the hand around your waist pulling you flush against him. “My cute girlfriend thought she could tease me and get away with it.”

He bites onto your lower lip as to prove his point and you whimper. “It’s not like that,” you manage to say, grinding yourself against the evident bulge in his pants. “I didn’t expect to get away with it.”

Jungkook's hands travel to the backs of your thighs and he lifts you up effortlessly, placing you on the counter. You’re sure there are traces of flour still on it but you couldn’t care less right now, not when a pair of hands roughly nudges your legs apart so he could stand in between them.

“So you did it purposely,” Jungkook leaves your mouth in favor of tracing kisses down your neck. Careful not to marry your skin with hickeys because you would beat the shit out of him if he did bruise your neck a day before the dinner with his parents. “Naughty girl.” He punctuates his statement with a bite to your earlobe, his next words being whispered directly into your ear. “What should I do with you, then?”

You whimper, your thighs pressing together just hearing the tone of his voice. You lace your fingers through the locks at the back of his hair and place a kiss against his lips. “Fuck me?” you ask in a saccharine-sweet tone.

He chuckles in response, fingers grasping your t-shirt and pulling it off you, revealing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. He wastes no time and latches his mouth onto a nipple but as soon as his tongue meets your hardened bud, he retreats. Confused, you watch as he reaches for the bowl once again and dips his fingers into the cream. He then smears it all over your nipples, a proud smirk caught on his lips when he leans back to admire his art work.

“Kook,” you mewl, too pathetically for your liking and you know how much it’ll stroke his ego. “Please, touch me.” you plea, one of your hands reaching to pull him closer to you.

“Yeah?” His chuckle is almost sinister. “Look at you, all dirty and begging me so nicely. Not that smart with your mouth now, are you?”

All you manage is a nod and meek “Please,” that quickly morphs into a drawn out moan when he finally dips his head to suck your nipple into his hot mouth. You never could have guessed that the idea of food play would be so arousing to you but here you are, pussy clenching around nothing when your sweet boyfriend licks chocolate cream off your boobs.

When he’s done and satisfied with the result, he grabs your sweatpants and pulls them down along with your underwear in one go, your bare ass meeting with the cold marble of your kitchen counter. Jungkook wastes no time and spreads your legs apart, not giving you a second to shy away from his burning gaze before he dives in to lick a stripe up your slit.

You cry out in pleasure when his tongue finds your clit and gives it a sharp suck, his hands grabbing your ankles and bending your knees so he could have a full access to your glistening core. You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and making a mess on Jungkook's face but he doesn’t mind it a bit, eating you out like a champ you know he is.

“So wet,” he rasps against your cunt. “Messy girl.”

To make matters worse (or better) he takes his sweet time and lets a glob of his spit mix with your arousal because Jungkook, much like you, enjoys giving a head more than anything in the world and makes it his priority to see you lose it on his tongue. You’re positive you will come like this if he keeps continuing abusing your clit just right. He knows your pussy like the back of his hand. Knows what makes you keen, how to make you eyes roll to the back of your head. It fuels his ego to see you like this; helpless and utterly devoted to the pleasure and you don’t even mind when he brags about it later. How could you if you benefit so much from it?

Suddenly, he grunts into your cunt and your brows furrow because it’s not the sound you’re used to hearing during sex. You look down to check what’s wrong but he’s already up and in level with your eyes, a sheepish smile adoring his features.

“Neck cramp,” he explains, his palm massaging the back of his neck. “Eating pussy is easier on the bed.” You can’t help but giggle, replacing his hand with yours and providing him a temporary relief. “I’m sorry. Were you close?” he asks.

There he is. Your sweet, caring boyfriend who never forgets to ask for consent before railing you into the mattress and always putting your pleasure before his own.

“Mhmm,” you hum, grasping his t-shirt and lifting it off his body. It should be considered a sin to look like this, you think to yourself. “But I want to come on your cock instead.”

Jungkook grins, quickly pulling down his pants and underwear. His cock slaps against his stomach, pride swelling in your chest because you know you can make him this hard without your touch. “How do you want it?” he asks, guaranteeing himself a moment of relief when he gives his cock a few pumps, spreading precum all over his length.

“Like that,” you answer, gesturing at your current position on the counter. “Wanna see you.”

“Anything for my pretty girl.”

If you weren't already red, you would have blushed at his cute words. The sentiment doesn’t last long though, your face twisting in ecstasy when he lines himself up with your entrance and starts pushing inside, the stretch deliciously burning. “Oh my god, Kook,” you whimper, hand clutching onto his biceps for support. “So big. You feel so good.” He groans, slithering himself deeper. His forehead rests onto yours, few ragged breaths before you murmur, “You can move.”

He sets a punishing pace from the beginning, fucking you hard and fast; wet, slapping noises filling the kitchen. You’re a blubbering mess, moaning incoherently as he splits your pussy open, thrust after thrust. “Yeah, fucking take it,” Jungkook rasps, grabbing your hips even harder, no doubt leaving there marks. “Cream my cock like a good girl.”

You mewl in response, your eyes focusing on his parted lips. “J-jungkook,” you stutter, head completely deprived of rational thoughts. “Spit in my mouth.” It’s almost a breathless plea on your tongue.

He curses, his right hand squeezing your cheeks. “Open.” You do it right away, nearly moaning when he purses his lips and spits, eyes almost bulging out of his head when he sees you swallow it greedily. “Dirty fucking girl.” he growls.

“B-but you love it, right?” you whimper, eyes glossy because he's hitting that spot inside your pussy that makes your toes curl. “L-love when I’m like this just for you.”

“Fuck, yeah I do,” Jungkook says, placing his hand around your throat. He doesn’t apply pressure and simply rests it there, urging you to look directly at him. “I love when my pretty baby becomes a dirty slut for me.” He punctuates his words with a harsh buck of his hips that makes you cry out.

You can't take it anymore. “K-kook,” you whine, grabbing his wrist and urging him to squeeze your throat. “I love you.”

Despite his hand around your neck and cock abusing your cunt, he breaks into a smile. He leans down to kiss you on your putty lips. You try to keep up with him but there’s no use for that, so you just open your mouth and let him slither his tongue inside. When he pulls away, your lips are wet with saliva. Messy, but you wouldn’t exchange it for anything less. “Love you too, baby.” he groans in a strained voice, dragging his cock fast through your walls.

As if reading your mind, his thumb reaches to rub fast circles on your clit. “’m so close,” you mumble, thighs shaking.

“C'mon, pretty. Wanna see you come around me.” Jungkook murmurs, gone is his dominant aura, it’s now only his gentle voice coaxing you into an earth-shattering orgasm.

When you come down from your high, you’re swatting his fingers away from your core. Normally you would probably indulge into it more, but oversensitivity seems to be too much to handle for you today. Jungkook thrusts his hips a few more times and follows right after you, groaning your name and spilling himself inside.

“That was nice.” he comments breathlessly and you can’t help but chuckle, widing your arms around his neck and pulling him for a well-deserved kiss.

“I’m too tired to move my legs and somebody needs to finish the cake,” you pout, not an ounce of exaggeration in your statement because that’s utterly true–you’re always too spent after a round of fucking with Jungkook to even go to the bathroom on your own. He gladly carries you there in his arms bridal-style every, single time.

“It's okay, sweetheart. I’ll do it.” he says, making you giggle under your breath triumphantly.

You might be willing to do everything for you boyfriend but if anything, you’re equal in that department.

“I’m also pretty sure there’s flour on my ass.”

Jungkook raises his brow at you. “That I’m not going to clean.”

“Fine. But next time I'm putting whipped cream on your dick.” you decide.

When he pulls out of you, his cum spills out of your hole but he's quick to catch the droplets and push them back inside you with his fingers. “You’re a little minx, you know that, right?” he says and then licks his digits clean.

“You love me anyway.” He grins, leaning to kiss you but he stops mid-way. “What is it?” you ask, raising your brows.

“Since I came inside you, we can call it a creampie, right?”

Still slightly dazed after sex, you’re not quick enough to realise what he implies before it’s too late. “I mean yes but–oh my god. No, no, no! Stop!”

“Cream-pie!”

“I hate you!”

“And I love you too.”

After all, you were worrying about the dinner too much, as always.

Everybody complimented your cake. Jungkook's mother was delighted. His father talked about fishing for almost an hour.

But your sweet boyfriend's smirking face as he ate the cake was telling you were in for a long night of sinning in your bed as soon as you went back home.

And he obviously didn’t disappoint.

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #btsbookclub #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #bangtanhq

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