#( which hurts and is desired. )

[tahitiwoke]

five times kissed / Give Me Another

ONE | DIRTY WORK GETS THE JOB DONE.

would you close the door, phillip? lets not go on and on about the tip-toe game they've been playing or about how she seems far further away from him than she has been in months; always there with a hand against his arm or his shoulder, always close by with a comment in his ear. he feels cornered by her in a way. in the white house, there seems to be not a single room he can be in alone without her or frank pressing in at all sides. she consumes him and he consumes her attention. it's easy to let her do it. easy to be led by the hand, like a stray dog lured by the promise of fresh meat.

(who is the meat, he wonders. who is leading who to the spade?)

the door clicks shut and behind him he hears her exhale. she is close. so close he can feel the warmth of her body at his back. he can feel the soft way she feels her way across the broad hard wire of his shoulders, fingertips digging in just slightly in encouragement. turn around she is saying without saying it and so he does and she's taller in her heels but still barely up to his chin. " what do you want? " he asks. there is a pause while the cogs in her brain turn, as if she's coming to a decision the way a train comes into the station. all at once at first and then slowly, waiting for the track to run out.

i want you to fuck me. as easy as if she was asking for the time. he almost looks for frank in the corner - is it a game? a fresh way to humiliate him? right here. there is a quiet pressing into the room but he can hear the assistants milling around in the halls. he looks down at her, tries to decide if he can see the truth behind it and finds he's already looking at it. i want you to fuck me.

kissing her takes the shape of something hateful, a passionate and open mouthed, all tongue and teeth for a moment that she returns with a villainous desire that takes his breath away. broken when he lifts her onto the desk. it's the only time they kiss for the entire forty-five minutes that he spends between her legs.

TWO | MAYBE I'M TOO BUSY BEING YOURS.

he's not on a date but it's drinks, and for the life of him he cannot remember this woman's name. he knows she just graduated georgetown and thinks it's, like, so crazy you work at the white house, y'know, i applied for an internship but didn't get it because there was a whole thing about one of underwood's guys and it was super weird, like, the vibe there was so totally off. honestly, he stopped listening half an hour ago which seemed to suit her fine. she's incredibly hot.

(and yet, and yet, and yet. he's thinking of a different blonde in a different room with a different way of saying his name. he's thinking about soft thighs and the stern way she looks at him when he leaves her office.)

he doesn't know what the game will be this time when she calls. he answers on the second ring -- her demand is short, impassive, impossible to read the intention behind. i had a craving for something sweet. that's all she says before she hangs up; what she could want is beyond him, leaves him googling her name and then cutting himself off with a click of his phone button before the search page even loads. his date waves as he darts out the door, he doesn't even look back.

he gets to the white house within twenty-seven minutes -- in hand is not chocolates or candies, it's strawberries. he doesn't know if she likes them or not, but he thinks he remembers seeing her eat them once -- claire takes them, sets them on countertop in the residency kitchen, and tips up onto her toes. (she's sans heels, which puts her so, so much farther down.) when she kisses him, it's against the corner of his mouth, just a fraction closer than they would normally.

thank you, phillip. it's as if you read my mind.

THREE | YOU DO SUCH DAMAGE.

if you say her name again, i'll cut out your tongue. he doesn't know why he says it, why he's so angry about the way carol's name gets battered around in the press, why he blames her for it so suddenly and viscerally. it's your fault he wants to scream, you dragged me into this, you and frank, and you can manipulate me all you want but you cannot bring the woman i love into this. woman he loved. it is complicated.

( she's in veins. has been for decades. he cannot cut the part of himself out that feels utterly beholden to a woman who has not looked at him in fifteen years. he cannot mistake the anger for anything but the scorn of guilt and fear and regret. )

they don't talk for a few days. she does as promised, she fixes things, and carol's name falls out of fashion quickly - before the next cycle even really starts. he isn't interesting. the lack of reaction from his office or the oval makes it so much more disinteresting, it's easy to discard it as rumour and posturing.

there is a hesitancy to her interaction with him after that, just a hiccup in their odd which he has come to think as normal. it's a quiet sort of distance, one he doesn't notice until it's suddenly there and when he drags himself up to the residency, exhausted beyond measure from an angry, two hour long phone call with carol, it is in answer to a text do you have a moment?

he stands there with a hunch in his shoulders and feeling like gravity itself is dragging him to the crust of the earth; she pulls him into a bend by his tie. it's sharp. sudden. it hurts. hand wrapping once, twice into the material in the fist she's made and yanking him down quickly, it chokes him. just enough -- the look on her face tells him not to dare move to try and loosen it with his own fingers. don't ever speak to me that way again hisses in his ear -- but to soften the blow, she kisses his cheek. smoothes the slight lipstick stain away from the skin.

FOUR | EMOTIONAL MOTION SICKNESS.

it is not the first time he has been in her bed, not the first time he has kissed her (they do that now; it's a private thing, nothing casual shared over breakfast or anything, but when he fucks her, when she fucks him, they kiss and it feels like they should have been doing that from the very beginning). but he is inside her and her eyes are fixed on a point over his shoulder as she rides him; she's been going between the corner of the room and the doorway behind them, seems as though she's watching a fucking tennis match, and he doesn't know why. can't understand what's so damn distracting.

( it's a little bit of an ego thing, alright. don't judge him. he likes to have her entire attention and when she's distracted like this, as she has been before but never to such an extent, it's a bruise. )

so he kisses her - or tries to, but she pulls away from it, seems annoyed by the effort and rides him harder, determined to find something he isn't sure she's actually looking for. and because her attention is once again occupied elsewhere, he bites down on her shoulder, kisses away the burn as she hisses, frowning down at him suddenly, sharply. she's angry -- in a way he isn't sure is entirely directed at him. there is a pause. a longer pause. and then she's climbing off his lap, striding away, naked, into the bathroom. she slams the door and calls you should leave through it.

FIVE | YOU'RE A COWBOY LIKE ME.

the state of the union is an incredible thing to watch; he's never appreciated politics but there is a certain patriotism inspired by watching a leader actually lead. it's a powerful agenda being set out, a powerful way of talking. she sends him a text when the dinner and dancing ends to say she's turning in and if he wouldn't mind saying goodnight.

he, of course, acquiesces. it's scott on the door so he doesn't get too much of a look when he slips in through the door to the residency, finding her in the bedroom removing an earring. have you had a good night? she asks but he doesn't really hear it -- her silhouette has him half-drunk, the sharp cut of her against the solid white of the wall, the dress she's wearing fluttering out still about her. she's stunningly beautiful and there's a gut ache in him that he doesn't recognise -- it's so easy to step towards her slowly. give her time to turn him away if she needs, but it doesn't seem as though she wants to.

( they've been getting closer and closer to something and further away from the nothing they were. it's been going for a while. they had started kissing more and more, not just when they're fucking, and it's softer, slower. quieter. )

when he gets closer to her now, he takes his time. he tilts her chin towards him, offers a soft smile, proud of her and the night and way they'd cheered downstairs for her. it's victory. it's a real victory. when he bends to kiss her, she meets him halfway.

[peachcitt]

from: thirteen by @anna-scribbles

art by me :)

start from the beginning // read the november chapter // read the most recent chapter (january)

hey listen. look me in my eyes. have you read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you want your life to be forever changed you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you are a person who is breathing and alive you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. thank you

[commanderfreddy]

people are discoursing about the laios and shiro fight bc that was always going to happen but i do hope that wave crests quickly and we can all come to see it as what it is: literally one of the best written fights between two people who are both entirely justified in their actions and acting without any malice or cruelty of all time

[livelaughlovecassie]

Yes I do in fact support women’s wrongs! 🥰

[kanansdume]

The Mandalorian switched from writing a story following the arc of Ice Age (2002) to writing a story following the arc of Shazam (2019) in-between seasons 2 and 3, and this is why a perfectly satisfying ending to a two season miniseries got ruined.

[b4kuch1n]

dip pen ink comm batch 4 complete! for Ezechiel, @ohwwhuv, and Leo :]

[suncaptor]

I think calling Feferi going to attack Eridan like that self-defense because he assaulted Sollux IS a bit of a stretch, considering, like, Sollux VERY much did, like, agree to duel him. Understandable revenge? The most logical thing she could think of because she took his whole "side to Jack" thing seriously? Not worth being murdered as a 13 year old over? All true. But self-defense. definitely perhaps a stretch! he did not go to attack her until she was coming at him with a weapon!

[tahitiwoke]

SHE CAN’T SEE HIM.       well, maybe she could if she turned around or if she thought to look over her shoulder; the gas station they’ve stopped at is - for obvious reasons - empty, lit only by the neon of the signs overhead, and secret service mull around the perimeter close to her. they’re almost out of the game. they’re so close, he can taste it. he stops just shy of the threshold of the gas station and watches her for the longest moment -- watches the soft sigh he can see leave her, the way she thanks ed for the cigarette he passes over, the way she lights it with a zippo he thinks might belong to chris.  

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[oseike]

I've been hurting myself with this thought that just won't leave me so I'm sharing it so others can suffer with me, hi

But

The one who suffered the most from the group regression was Yoo Joonghyuk.

Let's look at it this way: When 49!kdj collapses, the party ends up with the knowledge that someday, the Kim Dokja in front of them will just disappear. He won't wake up, and will remain as he is until that time. So, they band together under Yoo Joonghyuk, who has evolved his skill into allowing a group to regress, and they go back to save the rest of him. At this time, Yoo Joonghyuk regains his memories of his Turn Zero, and he realizes his sponsor - that silent force that has been watching him all 1864 rounds - was Kim Dokja all along, likely observing from that train.

Then they get there. They reach him, they dig him out of that subway car....and they have already failed. The end result is Kim Dokja in a coma, now looking younger as well.

To the rest of the party, it really is a zero sum, or maybe slightly better even. They started with a comatose, incomplete Kim Dokja who would never wake up and would someday disappear. They ended with potentially even less of Kim Dokja, still in a coma never to awaken, but without the surety that he would disappear. Essentially, nothing was gained, but also nothing really was lost.

Except for Yoo Joonghyuk.

To Yoo Joonghyuk, he intended to rescue Kim Dokja - to complete his own original desire to finally meet the person who led him through his first life, to face the one who has been watching him since then, and rescue his life and death companion.

But what he is left with is so much worse. Not only does he fail, but after they return, that sponsor, that gaze that had been watching him - a gaze he had come to hate but now no longer could - was also gone. He has to live with the knowledge that Kim Dokja had watched him sink into hatred for him, had sworn to kill him, and then in the moment when he had returned at last, intending to save him, he instead fulfilled the dark wish he had made for countless lives instead. There is a black stain on his sword he can't get rid of that is proof of that.

If he had not regressed, if he had not gone to save Kim Dokja, then Yoo Joonghyuk would not have been the one to strike down the last remnants of him. The gaze of that sponsor would have simply faded away with the system, and he wouldn't know what happened to Kim Dokja. He would probably believe he would just keep living to watch over the world lines forever.

Instead, he has to live with the knowledge that he rushed Kim Dokja to his death, and cut him down at the last. The comatose Kim Dokja he has now is a cold reminder of what he truly lost, and the sky that used to be alive with that silent gaze is now wholly empty. For the first time in 1865 rounds, he is alone, and that fact is not a celebration, but a dirge.

[youngpettyqueen]

I can forgive an illegal appendectomy but I draw the line at making Kellye sad

[lobotomizedlady]

literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country

[enbysiriusblack]

dorcas meadowes and sirius black are the anti hero marauder characters.

[thebirdandhersong]

.

[kariachi]

Sorry-not-sorry I'm back on my normal 'Kevin and Argit were so small' bullshittery.

Because they fucking were. Kevin was twelve when Servantis tossed everybody, and Argit couldn't have been far off. They were middle school aged. 'Puberty would be starting about now if we weren't wandering the Null Void and therefor likely not eating near enough' aged.

A pair of children, with minimal education, no paperwork, no homes, no guardians. Wandering the Null Void and then the Milky Way, on their own. One a prime target for the slave trade, both prime targets for adults looking to take advantage of them (*coughcoughOttocoughcough*). With only as much security as they could provide themselves and each other. Only able to rely on themselves for the basic necessities of life.

And then this show has the audacity to try to tell me that they turned to crime due to poor morality. That they're money focused because they're just naturally greedy. That they don't trust people and look out for themselves because they're bad people that either will always be bad people or will only improve because of the power of Tennysons.

What options were there for them? What jobs are there in the Null Void? What jobs are there in the galaxy that'll hire barely-teens, if even that, with no paperwork or educations, that wouldn't ruin them as badly and pay worse than the crime they already had experience with? Will keep them fed and clothed and sheltered? When one of them already has a criminal record, for violent crimes at that? When there's nobody there to stop even the 'good' adults from taking advantage of them?

The show will sit there and tell you that Kevin's violent crimes were the result of a rough childhood, but he and Argit's non-violent ones? Totally on them, no excuse, wholly a matter of greed and not giving a shit about other people. Fucking bullshit. This is a pair of kids who had to grow up way too fast, up against an existence that saw at least one of them as easy profit, with nothing but themselves and each other, and no opportunities. They're a pair of traumatized kids who grabbed the opportunities available to them with both hands and were molded by the problems they faced.

Of course they're money-focused, unlike the Tennysons they don't and haven't had anybody making sure they had enough to get by. They've had to support themselves and live with the constant worry that something is going to go pear-shaped and they'll have nothing.

They spent years with anybody and everybody being a potential threat (even between the two of them, Argit's noting that Kevin's snapping while he worked for the Rooters was the worst he'd seen 'before or since' makes it quite clear he's seen him on and passed the edge at least as much if not more than we have), of course they're going to be slow to trust, quick to toss people aside, and unwilling to help their enemies without some sort of payout, they've been burned before.

Just- Damnit these two come from some shitty fucking situations, the effects they had on them are obvious if you bother to fucking look, and they both deserved better than the series just going "oh yeah they're assholes what do you expect they're criminals" and moving the fuck on. Like, for fuck's sake at least acknowledge that they're like this because life was a fucking lead pipe to the teeth to them! We know Kevin's situation was shit even before they met, we got to see it, but even if Argit had a perfectly good life beforehand (unlikely) the earliest we see him is being held captive for illegal experimentation purposes by law enforcement! These two have been through shit! At least acknowledge it!

Fuck, they could've replaced Color of Monkey with that, hitting on the differences between how Kevin and Argit adapted to their circumstances, give us upfront the Tennysons being a safety net that let Kevin heal (rather than just 'oh the Tennysons taught him morals because they're the Good People') while Argit's issues and lack of security kept him stagnant. It would go better with what we see of him over the course of OV leading up to the Rooters arc, and what we're shown in the Rooters arc. Give us him still being far from great or on the up-and-up but improving with the stability that comes with his 'hero' status, a repairing relationship with Kevin after that arc, and a flourishing, above-board business. Rather than backpedaling on any good the writers had thrown at him like they'd realized they were coming up against a cliff.

Shit that makes you want to get the writers by the shoulders and shake them mercilessly.

[elektroyu]

This wip 🥺💜😭