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#(( Guys I Swear Please lmao ))
jade-len · 9 months
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
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Hey guess what
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I'm working on the Heinoustuck Reboot now, after 6 months of hiatus
I know, old AU, but I promise it'll get good... Eventually! Just uh... Have faith lmao. My pages are 191 through 194 as of now.
So, TL;DR:
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Join tha Discord for more updates also! I'm bad at updating my Tumblr
Edit: Link is nonexistent now
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kumatenarts · 1 year
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Hey there!! I finnally decided to make a secondary blog for artz. Here are some Blackstar chibis I made this past years
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mawu-yama · 3 months
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levyfox
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marcusagrippa · 3 months
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villa of the papyri you could yield something so wonderful
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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endlessfuckup · 6 months
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red white and royal blue is the gayest thing i have ever seen with my own two eyes
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inkykeiji · 1 year
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tysm for replying to my ask!! ur thoughts on it were so lewd HAHAHA just how it should be. it also makes me so SAD LMAOO 🥹🥹🥹 i never understood why dazai treats aku so harshly, anime & manga 😞 THE ENDING MADE ME SO HAPPY LMAOAOAOA ty again ❤️💯😹
omg anon of course!!! it was a great ask i loved it so much! <3 HEHEHE YES OF COURSE <333 my mind is so dark and nasty when it comes to those two i swear to GOD i have so many thoughts worming around in my brain,,,,
OKAY YES SEE i was literally just talking to my best friend about this like a day or two ago!!! i don’t understand it at all, he’s so incredibly cruel towards him and my thoughts were: part of me wonders if it’s just this pure rush of potent POWER he feels/gets from it—like being in charge, being in control, knowing that no matter how many times and how callously he kicks this man down he will ALWAYS come crawling back to him begging for praise and validation time and again, knowing he can do anything to him and get away with it and aku will still look at him with stars in his eyes—and another part of me wonders if dazai believes he ‘has’ to be this mean to draw out aku’s true power n strength (which could also be used as a front or excuse to so viciously abuse him). but i don’t believe that’s true, because i genuinely believe aku would continue to vie for dazai’s praise even if he was given it often. i truly do believe dazai has a very, very dark side to him that is inherent to who he is, but i also still have a whole season left + the manga etc to read so!!! i’m a lil hesitant making these interpretations before i’m fully caught up but these are the vibes i personally get from him thus far <3
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 4 months
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FINALLY finished a roll of film and FINALLY have the money to get it developed but i forgot i don't have my card yet so i can't actually place the order 😭
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krysmcscience · 8 days
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Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:
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The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.
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Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.
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It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.
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Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄
Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.
also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh
⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️
Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D
Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.
Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:
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'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.
you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH
And, finally:
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lmao this is shit
True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.
Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD
Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D
Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)
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crush-like-that · 9 months
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(rich) friend with attachment issues: I wanna go to the mall and hang out with you guys 🥺🥺🥺
me + other friend: we're broke 😀👍
(rich) friend: I'm not! I'll pay! Just hang out with me
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theovergrowth · 1 year
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Restart.
It was humid. He hadn’t gotten used to Missouri’s summer climate, but that didn’t really matter now; fall had started, and they wouldn’t be here long.
Titus (just Titus, for now) sat up in the dim bedroom he had lived in over the last few months. It was mostly empty now, everything aside from a backpack of essentials already loaded into the van from the day before.
He grabbed his watch, the one Drew quite literally demanded he own, off of his mattress. 6:12 am. Nobody else would be awake yet, but that wasn’t too unusual. If anything, it was preferable.
Quietly, an old instinct, he crept down the hall to the bathroom. He took a hot shower, put on some clean clothes, and took a moment as he was brushing his teeth to really look at himself in the mirror.
His hair was mostly gone, now a grown-out buzzcut that still sprouted small flowers. His face had filled out more, his complexion had a healthier glow, but most alien of all to him: he no longer had those same dark circles under his eyes. Yes, they hadn’t disappeared entirely, but he felt more… rested?
After spitting out his toothpaste and shoving the toothbrush into his backpack, he went out to the kitchenette and started on breakfast. Everyone would need to eat well today; the four of them were headed out on a “paranormal expedition”, as Pete and Drew had taken to calling it, west towards California, then up the 101 towards Oregon, stopping often along the way with Titus driving his van, Ricky driving his car, and Pete and Drew riding with Ricky.
Titus had been the first one to suggest he could ride alone for the first stretch to Oklahoma, saying he was less likely to need to switch off with someone while driving.
It was true, but really he was just terrified. Things had been good here; he was comfortable, he felt in control of himself, he had a group of friends that he… really cared about, and really didn’t want to see get hurt.
But… he also knew he had to trust them. He had to trust they would take care of themselves with the knowledge they had. Titus had already done all he should; actually trying to open up and tell them his side of a story they already knew, giving them all the information he had about The Sons, The Overgrowth, his father… all of it.
And they all took it in stride, telling him it didn’t change how they felt. If anything, they all seemed even more adamant about sticking together, Drew practically ripping his head off when he floated the idea of just splitting up for safety. “Splitting up is the opposite of safe,” he had chastised, forcing Titus to sit through a night-long horror movie marathon to prove the point. Titus hadn’t minded; he enjoyed falling asleep on the couch with his friend’s laughter as white noise.
Still, he was terrified. He swallowed it as he heard the distant sounds of each of his friends alarms going off, instead focusing on plating breakfast. Blueberry pancakes, biscuits and gravy, vegetarian sausage and bacon, and 4 mason jars of overnight oats he had prepped for each of them a couple of days ago.
They all ate quickly (though Titus noted they were a bit skeptical towards their jars), chattering about their plans with the pleasant side-tangent of Pete’s dream the previous night, which she claimed was a “mega-good omen” for their journey.
He hoped she was right.
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Lol folks mad cuz you didn’t use a readmore when they could just filter the long post tag???
tbf i too am also very lazy at filtering the ‘long post’ tag so i get it ☠️☠️☠️
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verstarppen · 10 months
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hear me out….. okay reader is famous and meeting fans,, a fan is wearing a top with like charles or max or whoever’s face on it and reader spots it and is like “…who is that😮‍💨” and the fans tell her and shes like “please show me their instagram” and then she follows whoever the guy you choose on ig,,, but one of the fans was recording the whole interaction qnd the video goes viral as well as a screenshot of readers ig following their account <3333 you can ignore i just thought this would be a good giggle type fic and your fics are my fav for giggling <33333
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summary; your comic book signing takes a turn when a fan walks in wearing a t-shirt with a poorly photoshopped "charles lechair" or wheover that is
pairing; charles leclerc x fem! comic book artist! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; this is for my charlie girlies i see your comments ladies and they make me smile im lurking and im stalking when you least expect it; all art used in this is by my lord and saviour dan mora if i could eat his artsyle i would
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liked by charles_leclerc and 430,010 others
ynlantern thank you everyone who stopped by for a print or a sticker @ comic_con ! and if you haven't, i'm here for the next 2 days
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orangleclerc HE'S IN THE LIKES Y'ALL
kirbyvettel can someone pls explain what's going on orangleclerc I'll DM you the video baconforza HEY I WANT TO KNOW TOO lionkingseb ffs please someone explain
egggrosjean I've never cared about anything superhero related but this whole situation made me look into your work, and I have to say it's amazing!!! Keep up the good work
roboclaren HE FOLLOWED HER BACK LMAO
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, ynlantern and 5,331,254 others
pierregasly He's great with kids and dogs
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monte_carlos_55 STOP EMBARASSING HIM
verstoppen "My crush is coming act cool" My friends:
charles_leclerc What did I say
pierregasly I'm doing free promotion charles_leclerc You're talking a lot of shit for someone within bitch slap distance pierregasly Delete this, you're ruining my marketing strategy
scuderiaferrari It's true! He's actually a driver, strategist and team principal!
ynlantern isn't half of that your job? scuderiaferrari @ charles_leclerc Nevermind, we don't like her. charles_leclerc 😐
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 1,200,100 others
ynlantern i heard he solved world hunger or something
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vertiddieenjoyer WAR IS OVER
ceruleanwilliams historians in 2294 trying to figure out what charles leclerc actually did and what the internet said he did to get him a date: 😰
pierregasly No need to thank me
honeyvettel the real main character
arthur_leclerc You did it. You crazy son of a bitch you did it.
charles_leclerc No swearing under her posts, please arthur_leclerc Yes, mom.
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liked by ynlantern, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 2,474,551 others
charles_leclerc Round 2 :)
view all 505,041 comments
scuderiaferrari That was fast
carlossainz55 Unlike our pitstops scuderiaferrari You're getting distracted charles_leclerc Wish I could get distracted out of SF-23
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pic credits: instagram and pinterest
blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr  (it's been a week and im already crying screaming throwing up without f1 help me)
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iamred-iamyellow · 2 months
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Close To You
♥ masterlist
♥ pairing: oscar piastri x lily zneimer x f!singer!webber!reader
♥ synopsis: as the daughter of mark webber you got to know oscar piastri pretty quick and soon enough the two of you were dating. no one had known that you both were also dating lily, leading everyone to believe the leaked pictures of her and Oscar was evidence he was cheating on you. they couldn’t have been more wrong
♥ smau - fc: gracie abrams - none of the pictures are mine
♥ warnings: swearing and hate comments !!!
♥ a/n: my first poly fic! ty to bestie liz and cleo for hyping me up <3
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liked by aussiegrit, oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 656,305 more
y/n.webber channel that sad energy into a song queen
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user8 hope you're doing well 💛
user3 ilyy
user6 pls shes so unserious 😭
user5 that's so real
user9 wait so did her and her boyfriend break up?
user2 I'm pretty sure. everyone's been speculating it and they haven't been seen together in a long time
user1 is she making a new album ???
user10 liv and tay in the likess 🫶
user7 I still can't believe she's mark's daughter omggg
user12 those family genetics 😍
user2 we love you <3
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liked by oscarpiastri, oliviarodrigo, and 583,694 more
y/n.webber cut my hair in the way that i've wanted
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user9 change my number and bury my wallet !!!
user8 augusta <3
user12 LOVE
mclarenf1 we'll see you at the GP
y/n.webber <3
user10 shut up y/n is gonna be there?
user6 I thought she had a concert that day?
user1 @/user6 she has one the night before :)
user5 no bc how is she so pretty
user13 oscar in the likes 👀
user7 GORGEOUS
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liked by y/n.webber, user7, user12 and 502,669 more
f1gossip mark, y/n, and oscar are ready for the australian grand prix
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y/n.webber @/aussiegrit I'm starting to think you like Oscar more than me :(
oscarpiastri he does ❤️
yourusername 🖕
user8 now kiss
user14 enemies to lovers
user4 my favorite australian trio
user1 why'd he have to shave his beard 😔
user9 THE CAT
user2 oscar and mark pookie off
user10 everyone pray for an oscar home race podium
user3 🕯️oscar home race win 🕯️
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liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit, and 703,562 more
y/n.webber date night <3
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user7 I love how she doesn't even have to tell us she's dating oscar because we all just know
user9 THEM WATCHING TANGLED 😭🫶
user3 oscar getting her lilies :')
y/n.webber actually I got him lilies
oscarpiastri 🧡
*liked by original poster*
user4 this is the cutest shit I've ever seen
user1 mark in the likesss looks like oscar has the stamp of approval
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liked by y/n.webber, aussiegrit, and 750,683 more
oscarpiastri lando crashed our date
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landonorris I did not "crash" your date I just happened to be there.
oscarpiastri as if you didn't follow us
y/n.webber @/landonorris you LITERALLY crashed into the back of my kart
mclarenf1 lando we talked about your internet stalking problem.
user8 PLEASE 💀
user6 why'd they have to call him out like that 😭
user2 the admins are my favorite part of the f1 cinematic universe
-A Few Months Later-
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liked by aarondessner, taylorswift, and 984,059 more
y/n.webber The Secret Of Us is out now! The songs on this album are a collection of my life these past few months and I’m so excited to share them with you all. Special thank you to @/aarondessner and @/taylorswift I love you both 💛
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user1 I hope she rips oscar to shreds
user7 y/n better than revenge era
user9 !!!
user3 girl you can do so much better than o***r
user12 I'm so ready to scream and cry to this
user2 I cannot believe he cheated on her
user16 out of all the guys on the grid OSCAR?!?!
user11 kitten I'll be honest I'm still not over good riddance 😔
user8 LMAO
user9 so true 😭
user15 hyped af for the taylor collab
user16 the fact that she's the daughter of mark, the man who supported him since day one and he STILL cheated on her is CRAZYY
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liked by taylorswift, oliviarodrigo, and 985,750 more
y/n.webber throwback to my time at last year's era's tour. I'm so glad to be back 🩷
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taylorswift were so glad to have you <3
*liked by original poster*
oliviarodrigo miss youuu
yourusername I miss you too babes
user9 "and you knew my last love let me down" OSCARRRRAHHH
user7 AND I BET HES AT HER PLACE RIGHT NOW
user10 I'm so excited to see you
user16 he fumbled so hard
user4 we love you <3
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liked by oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, and 1,194,203 more
y/n.webber I understand that, without my agreement, @/f1gossip put out a post a week ago that said Oscar Piastri was cheating on me. This is wrong and I am in a happy relationship with both Oscar and Lily. He did not cheat on me. 
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lilyzneimer I love you 🩷
y/n.webber I love you more
user7 😨
user1 I'm not even sure what to say
user12 I'm so sorry oscar we weren't familiar with your game 😭
user3 I-
user6 in true bi panic fashion
user4 FUCK 😭
user19 everyone say sorry Oscar
user2 sorry oscar
user5 we're sorry Oscar :(
user13 WE DIDN'T KNOW WE SWEAR
user10 sorry Oscar 😔
user21 💖💜💙
user23 the @ is such a boss bitch move
user8 saying sorry to Oscar online isn't enough I need to revoke my statements in a court of law
user7 same
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liked by lilyzneimer, y/n.webber, alexandrasaintmleux and 884,472 more oscarpiastri flowers for my favs 💐
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y/n.webber my loves 🩷
lilyzneimer 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
user7 my favorite throuple
user23 as if you weren't hating on oscar yesterday
user7 and I am deeply ashamed
user12 we said we're sorry :(
user6 yea oscar x lily x y/n are cute but wheres mark x fernando x taylor
user9 as in swift? 😭
user6 yes.
alexandrasaintmleux you three are so cute
y/n.webber <3
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beah388love · 18 days
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Favourite flower
Full Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!reader
Summary: You love orchids..it could even be an addiction.
Warnings: swearing! Bad language, reader is upset and cries! (Please tell me if I missed any?!!!)
It was a known thing that you absolutely adored orchids. They were your favourite flower in the whole world and you would quite literally look after them like your babies.
-
“Okay now turn the chat on” lando explained to max and he rolled his eyes “how do I do that?”
“You press the button.” Lando said throwing his hands up losing his patience “what button?! There’s a lot to pick from!” Max argued and you gave the camera a tired look from their stupid arguments, they honestly sounded like an old married couple sometimes.
“Just let me do it-“ lando huffed as he pressed it and the chat started swarming with comments, “Jesus Christ how am I supposed to read all that?” Max said laughing and lando shook his head with a smile as he continued to try to fix the mic stand.
“Thank you for the sub Kelly5608…who’s that?” Max read out from the chat “that’s y/n guys she’s chilling” max smiled as you gave the camera a wave from his sofa.
User1: who is that in the background?
User2: OMG Y/N WE SAW YOUR ORCHIDSSSSS
User3: congrats on your win y/n!
User4: what orchids did you get for winning your race?!
User5: NOT MAX AND LANDO ARGUING AGAIN LMAO
Max scrolled up as he tried to read the comments “they’re all asking about your new orchid y/n” max smiled as he looked over to you “oh yeah! I was going to post her today but forgot! Hang on imma go get her!” You gasped with a squeal as you jumped up and ran out the room to go grab the flower.
“She loves orchids guys..the house is full of them.” Max chuckled and lando grinned “they all have names too”
“Here she is! Shes pink with SPOTSSSSS! I haven’t got a name for her yet though..” you beamed as you showed the camera your new orchid.
“How many have you got now?” Lando asked with a smile at your excitement. “Uh…12”
“Why do you like them so much?” Max asked and you shrugged “they’re just so pretty..” you said touching the petals of your flower in awe.
Lando wrapped his arm around your stomach and pulled you to him “max everything’s okay now, I think.” Lando said as he gestured to his set up.
“Thanks mate..are you guys staying in the background?” Max asked and lando looked up to you to see what you wanted to do, “mhm..yeah I’m gonna go put my orchid back first though” you said as you put a hand through landos hair before leaving again.
Lando huffed with a moody face as max thanked his subs.
User1: why’s lando so annoyed?
User2: lando looks so mad
Lando read the chat as he waited for you, “guys I’m tired..I’m not annoyed” Lando said not noticing you behind him making him jump a bit. “He’s tired..my grouchy boy” you smirked teasing him.
Lando grabbed his phone and sat on the sofa, pulling you on top of him making you giggle “can we sleep?” Lando asked tiredly and you nodded into his chest as he played with your hair.
“Lando and y/n are dead asleep guys..” max said as he looked behind him “i think he’s actually drooling…yeah he’s drooling” max laughed to himself as he stood up and took a picture before sneakily sitting back in his chair again “I can use that for blackmail now” max smirked with a devil laugh.
-
“Okay…chat can you hear me? Can you hear us?” Max asked into the mic whilst lando checked the monitor was working. “Okay..they can hear us.”
“Now let’s call ria” max said as he clicked his tongue, “max? Lando? Can you hear me? I can hear you.” She said through her headset and max smiled “we can hear you”
You were snuggled up in lando’s arms, playing a game on his phone.
“Is y/n there?” Ria asked and max looked over to lando.
“Yeah but she can’t hear you” max said and that perked your interest as you lifted your head and looked up at max and lando confused.
Lando bit back his grin “He’s talking about ria.” Lando explained and you nodded as you laid your head back down on his chest, lando stroking his hand up and down your back under your his hoodie.
“Is she gonna stay there?” Ria asked and max shook his head. Max poked lando on the head catching his attention.
Max silently gestured to you and lando nodded, “baby? Is it okay if you lay somewhere else?” Lando asked and you whined “why…m’comfy here.”
“Because I need to have room for the game we’re playing” Lando said and you huffed “fine…”
You got up and took landos phone with you still playing whatever game had your attention, “Kiss?” Lando grabbed your wrist gently stopping you and you smiled before giving him a small kiss, before walking off to your bedroom.
“Okay she’s gone.” Max whispered into his mic “you don’t need to whisper you muppet.” Lando rolled his eyes with a laugh.
“Okay. So how are we planning this surprise then?” Max asked.
“Right..so I have a list of all the things she likes here-“ ria said but lando interrupted “we already got her some orchids by the way”
“Great, That’s off the list then.” Ria smiled as she scratched it off her notes.
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Liked by McLaren, maxfewtrell, Carlossainz and 1,484,932 others
landonorris: Y/n’s surprise from me and max…. She has been blocked from this post btw so don’t tag her lol
Tagged: maxfewtrell
User1: omg where to find a man like lando?
User2: literalllyyyyyy
User3: omg this is so fucking cute
User4: what’s this about?
User5: y/n won the Grand Prix and lando and max did a whole stream making a surprise for her
maxfewtrell: we was in that garden centre for hours.
landonorris: hours.
Maxverstappen1: remember her birthday?
landonorris: god don’t remind me, it’s so hard to get her presents
Carlossainz: You didn’t get her that pink one did you?
landonorris: yeah I did
Carlossainz: Dude. You said I could get her that one?!
landonorris: snooze ya lose
-
Ginge and Ethan flew out to Monaco to ‘to train and eat like lando for 24 hours’
“Woah! Are these y/n’s orchids?” Ethan asked when he saw the windowsill filled with them, two hanging down either side.
“Mh? Oh yeah- that’s just some of them, the rest are in our bedroom” lando said with a little laugh.
“These are just some? There’s 1..2..3…8!” Ginge exclaimed as he counted them.
“What’re you talking about?” You smiled as you walked in to the kitchen right on time.
“Your orchids” lando smiled as he placed a kiss on your head and you gasped happily.
“Be prepared…they have names.” Lando whispered to them both before you began rambling. Lando giggled to himself as he ate his breakfast.
“This one is called pineapple! Because it looks like a pineapple and this one is called leafy-“ you smiled as you showed them both all your orchids and they were shocked when you told them how long you had them all..
“How many have died?” Ginge asked “only one out of..twelve” you said and he nodded “I thought these were hard to look after?”
“They say that but I’m not an expert” you shrugged “what’s the oldest you have then? Or the first one you got?” Ethan asked and you squealed excitedly.
“It’s one of my favourites..it’s called leafy and I’ve had it since I was 14 so…seven years nearly eight” you said and they both gasped “Jesus Christ- how long do they live?”
“Some live up to 20+ years but I haven’t had any that long to determine that yet” you smiled
“Anyway you better eat your breakfast before your workout” you said as you remembered their plan for today.
“I guess I know what to get her for her next birthday” ginge laughed and lando shook his head “No. No more orchids.”
“What?” You said sadly and he smirked “only kidding…I luv em- they remind me of you” he smiled as he pulled you into his embrace and you laughed “well in that case…I want a red one” you grinned.
-
You sat on the sofa with lando and Carlos for post-race interview questions.
“First of all congratulations on your win y/n-“ the interviewer smiled and you smiled back “thank you”
“My question is, so it’s very known that you love your orchids-“ the interviewer grinned and you giggled nodding your head “you could say that again” Carlos laughed
“Are you expecting any after this win? I remember your last win and might I say you got a lot” the interviewer smiled and you nodded “I don’t expect any, but I would love them” you answered.
“And might I ask why you love them so much?” The man asked and you thought for a moment “I can’t really say? I just do? Ever since I was gifted my first one I’ve just fell in love with them.” You smiled at the memory.
-
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“Alright, max! We’re leaving now” you said as lando grabbed his bag “alright see you later” max smiled
“Water my orchids yeah?” You said pointing a finger at him sternly and he nodded with a smile.
“60 ml of water, boil the rice water- oh! And only on the weekend! Once a week!” You listed off as lando dragged you out the house.
“I will! Now go. leave!” Max chuckled as he shut the door.
A week later
Max poured the boiled water exactly too 60ml in the jug and walked over to your orchids and began watering them until he got to your favourite and in his opinion his favourite too, the light blue orchid.
The rarest out of all of your collection, it was a gift from lando after winning your first race and he had asked you to be his girlfriend. You had named it lucky.
He poured in the water and did a double take when he saw the flowers had shrivelled up and gone brown. “Oh my fucking god.” He muttered under his breath.
“Oh fuck. Shit-“ he cursed as he reached out to touch one of the shrivelled flowers but it fell off from his touch. “Ah- shit!” He swore as he began pacing.
“Fuck i killed it. It’s dead. Oh my god.” He panicked to himself and jumped when his phone lit up.
He hesitantly walked over to his phone and scrunched his face when he saw it was lando.
Lando: we just landed and y/n wants me to tell you to only do 60ml lol
Max bounced his leg anxiously as he sat down looking at his phone, he overcome his anxiety and hit press on the call button next to landos name.
Lando answered his phone confused, “max?”
“Lando- I uh- promise you won’t yell at me.” Max said quietly and lando stiffened catching your attention. “What did you do.” Lando asked and max breathed out.
“Is y/n there? Can she hear me?” Max asked and lando sighed, “y/n? I’m gonna go somewhere quieter okay?” He asked and you nodded.
“Alright I’m alone. What happened?” Lando asked worried
“Promise you won’t be mad…” max said and lando huffed “max. Just get it out.”
“I killed y/n’s orchid”
“Lando?”
“Oh my fucking god.” Lando shut his eyes and scrunched his face.
“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t even do anything! It’s just brown and wilted and dead.” Max blurted in a panic.
“How are you gonna tell her?” Lando asked and max went silent “I thought you was going to! That’s why I called you!” Max argued and lando scoffed.
“Yeah well I’m not the one who killed it. Wait what one is it?” Lando asked and max bit his lip anxiously.
“The blue one….”
“OH MY F-“ lando whisper shouted as he slapped his hand to his face.
“Oh my god she’s gonna be so upset. Fuck. We can’t tell her yet, we’ll tell her after qualifying” Lando said and max sighed “fuck I feel so bad”
“Max I’ve gotta go- she’s coming” Lando said before hanging up.
“What was that about?” You asked and lando quickly lied “he needed help to connect to the wifi”
“That’s max for you” you laughed and he nodded with a fake smile “yeah- yeah it is.” Lando said through gritted teeth.
After qualifying
You had come second in qualifying, lando came first.
“Baby..I uhm- I need to talk to you and you need to promise me you won’t be mad” Lando said seriously and you instantly grew worried, “w-what is it?”
“So- uh- I don’t know how to say this but…max accidentally killed your orchid….” Lando said as he held your hand and you physically paled.
“Which one?” You asked with widened eyes and he took a breath “the blue one…” Lando said and you gasped and felt tears prick your eyes.
You know people would say how stupid it is to cry over a flower but it’s not just a flower. It was the orchid lando got your for winning your first race and it was the night he asked you to be his girlfriend that he gave it to you, and he had picked the colour blue 1. Because of how rare it is and everyone struggled to get a hold of it and 2. Because the colour reminded you of someone meaningful to you.
“Baby..” Lando said softly as he wrapped you in his arms “w-why did h- he k-kill it” you whimpered as you wiped your tears.
Oscar walked over to you both but lando quickly gestured to him to leave and Oscar nodded awkwardly before leaving.
“I- I wanna go back home” you whimpered and lando nodded as he rocked you both side to side.
“Alright..we can go back home baby” lando muttered into your hair as he rested his chin on top of your head.
“Can you carry me?” You asked and he gave you a sad smile nodding “hop on baby” Lando said as he bent down and you hopped onto his back, wrapping your arms over his shoulders and burying your head into the crack of his neck.
He felt awful. He could feel some stray tears dropping onto his neck and shirt.
He carried you through the paddock up to his car. You got off his back silently and sat in the front passenger seat looking down at you hands.
You pulled your hood up and lando felt so bad, he knew how much your orchids meant to you especially the blue one.
“Im sorry baby..” Lando said sadly, stroking your thigh with his free hand.
The jet home was silent for you, lando had given you his headphones and you sat on his lap you face buried in his neck and his arms wrapped around you.
He knew his headphones were noise cancelling so when Oscar asked him what had happened he sighed and explained what happened to him.
“Actually that reminds me- max was supposed to message me…” lando said as he grabbed his phone from the table, he could feel your breathing slow and little snores from you so he knew you had fallen asleep.
Max: is she okay?
Lando: she’ll be okay, how did you kill it?
Max: I didn’t! It just died! I swear! I’ve never killed her orchids before when I looked after them.
Lando: I know I just find it weird since it’s a couple years old now? It should’ve been fine.
Max: I feel awful.
Lando: she’ll forgive you don’t worry
Max: I hope so
Lando sighed as he shut his phone off, “are you sure it’s dead?” Oscar asked and lando nodded. “Max said its flowers have all fallen off and gone brown” Lando said tiredly and Oscar furrowed his brows.
“Doesn’t that happen when they wilt though? They usually die when the leaves go?” Oscar asked and lando pouted his lips confused “how do you know so much about orchids?”
“Y/n” Oscar said with a little laugh.
Once you got home
You had hopped onto landos back again, your face nuzzled in his neck. “Please don’t be mad at max baby, he didn’t mean to kill it” Lando said and you sighed sadly.
“I won’t I’m just upset.”
“I know.” Lando said as he rubbed small circles on the back of your leg, holding you up.
Max opened the door hesitantly, scared of your anger and sadness towards him but it didn’t come.
You hopped off of landos back and quickly walked inside to go look at your favourite flower but you paused when you saw it.
“Y/n…I- Im Sorry” max said quietly and lando bit his lip as he leaned against the wall watching you.
“Wait? I’m confused? Where’s my blue orchid?” You asked and max furrowed his brows pointing to the flower you was looking at.
“You said it was dead?” You said and max and lando looked at each other even more confused.
“Oh my god. You fucking scared me! It’s not dead you guys! It’s just wilted” you gasped in relief and max held his chest in relief.
“Wait so you’re telling me it’s alive?” Max asked and you nodded “oh thank fuck.”
“So you panicked us the whole time and it was alive?” Lando said and max nodded with an awkward tight lipped smile.
“Oh my god I’m so happy you’re alive lucky…” you exclaimed as you cradled the flower in your arms.
“Max is never looking after you again.” You half-teased and max looked at the floor embarrassed
“I said I was sorry! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t dead?” Max argued and you rolled your eyes.
“It doesn’t matter now. I just wanna sleep, I’m tired and my body hurts” you said tiredly since you and lando had literally just come back from qualifying.
“C’mon baby, let’s go to bed” Lando smiled holding his hand out for you which you took.
“Night max! Don’t go on any more killing sprees!” Lando teased and laughed when he heard max yell back “shut up lando”
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-
Lando’s story updated
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User1: THANK GOD
User2: OUR MASCOT IS OKAY! OUR BABY IS OKAY!
MercedesF1: thank god! You nearly gave the whole grid a panic attack! Shame on you max.
maxfewtrell: I said I was sorry 😔 no need to call me out like that
User3: I’m so lost. who is lucky?
User4: Lucky is y/n’s orchid
User5: lucky is our baby*
maxfewtrell: I apologise to all the lando and y/n fans…
landonorris: Get outta my comment section
User10: you better
User11: What did you do max?!
User12: how do you accidentally kill but not kill a flower?
User13: max our cute little murderer
User14: ^^ very mindful, very demure, very cutesy
User6: lando and y/n are so cuteeee
User7: what happened tho? She looked so upset
maxverstappen1: you gave me a mini heart attack when I read everyone’s tweets saying lucky died
georgerussell: I nearly died when I saw the tweets
User15: BRO WHO IS LUCKY?!
User16: lucky is y/n’s orchid
mclaren: so glad everyone is A-okay! 👌🏻
Carlossainz: I nearly dropped my phone when I saw fans tweets
User8: AHHH MY FAV COUPLE
User9: ITS *SHIPNAME*
I hope you enjoyed reading lol - this is in honour of my favourite flower
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