#(ANGST IS MY JAM and you shall get it)

[theonewiththefanfics]

Homecoming (one-shot)

Synopsys: When Y/N goes missing during a simple supply run, she comes back with world-shattering news for Astarion. News he never thought to hear, and now he has a decision to make, one that will shift his life on its axis once more.

Set after the main events of BG3

Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, a bit of SMUT, but nothing explicit

Warnings: talks of blood, injuries, swearing, mentions of abuse, but nothing explicit, kidnapping

Word count: 8397

A/N: I have not played Baldur's Gate 3 (I don't own a PS or a PC where to play it. all of this is based on the info gathered online and through Neil's own gameplay etc. Please be kind :) )

Part 2(ish) - Love Conquers All (one-shot)

A home was not something to ever be taken for granted, that much they had learned during their adventures.

A home was a fire slowly crackling in the hearth, warmth expanding through the living room. A home was Astarion sitting on a loveseat, a book in his hands while he waited for his love to finish puttering around in the kitchen. A home was drying tea leaves and making preserves for the coming winter as she shooed him out, saying that his fussing would only hinder her process.

He’d huffed, puffed and whined, trying to make Y/N pull away from her plans just so they could curl up and read together, but she was adamant.

“I’ve already started.” She dropped an orange peel and pressed some lemon juice into the steaming pot. “It’ll be wasted produce if I just leave it now.”

“But it will take you hours!” Astarion whined like a child and even stomped his foot, making her snort.

“And it will take me twice as long if you don’t stop annoying me.” Y/N threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder, batting her lashes at the pouting vampire. “Now, be a good boy, and quit pestering me. We’ll have all the time in the world, once I’m done.”

Astarion just groaned, going up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, the incisors he usually sank into her neck now nipping at her lobe. “I can be a very good boy if you only let me prove it.”

“My love, you will be getting absolutely no sex from me, if you don’t let me at least finish this batch.” A shiver rushed down her spine as he licked at her neck, so close to that sweet spot he always used as a place to bite and drink from. But she had to be strong. The jams wouldn’t make themselves. “Every additional minute you keep me from this will be an additional day of your dry spell.”

The vampire spawn jumped back from her as if he’d been scalded, scarlet eyes narrowing in on her. “You wouldn’t dare. You wouldn’t last an hour!”

Y/N turned around, crossing her arms as a devious smile bloomed on her lips, a brow raised in challenge. “Would you like to test those waters?”

Astarion stood, staring her down. His crimson gaze was blazing from underneath his lashes, but she didn’t budge. They’d played this game for close to three years as a couple now, and she’d learned very quickly – Astarion was very much so a cat. But especially – he was a cat that liked to knock things over while keeping direct eye contact with you, though the second you placed a palm underneath whatever it was he wanted for to fall, all his need for chaos disappeared. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

For twenty long seconds, Y/N and her pale elven lover didn’t break, hoping the other would crumble and be announced as the loser, but part of what he loved about her, was her stubbornness. It was because of that part of her personality, she’d stuck by him when his doubts had crept in, when his own mind called him worthless and not good enough for her, almost as if to spite those vicious words in his mind. She didn’t give up on the people she loved, and as luck would have it, Astarion owned her heart.

But Y/N also knew how to handle a cat like him, so just after a few more tense moments, his eye twitched, and he huffed in defeat.

“Fine,” he scoffed. “But if you are not done by sundown, I shall have no other option but to drag you away from the stove. Kicking and screaming preferred.”

Y/N simply shook her head, and went to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the man into a deep, breathless kiss, but not before nipping at his bottom lip, dragging the piece of flesh between her teeth and making him let out a desperate moan. “I’ll even let you tie me up if you wish to do so.”

Astarion’s pupils almost swallowed the red irises in a matter of seconds, as he threw his head back in a groan. “My love, you’re absolutely killing me here.”

“Then I hope whatever punishment you deem fit for me, will be just oh, so sweet.” Y/N stepped back, untangling herself from him, but the mischievousness in her eyes didn’t lessen.

She could see how the words tortured him, how it took every single last piece of his fraying self-control, to not rip off her apron and the clothes underneath and just lay her down on the kitchen table, legs spread with his mouth licking into her until she orgasmed.

With eyes holding nothing but pure lust and hands clenching and unclenching, Astarion retreated. Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t hot and bothered and absolutely dripping between her thighs, and the thought of finishing those jams was the last thing on her mind, but she did have to do it. If only to keep him waiting longer, knowing whatever his beautiful brain was cooking up would leave her screaming and shaking for hours.

They’d been growing their own vegetables and fruits, Y/N tending to them during the nights to spend more time with Astarion as he fussed over his flower gardens, so it would simply be wasteful to leave their berries to rot. The year had been very generous and offered a variety of things to gather, so a while back, she’d decided to pickle some of the tomatoes and cucumbers, turn another batch of peppers and tomatillos into sauces while the sweeter things would be turned into syrups and jams.

Y/N shook her head, trying to clear it from the haze of lust, as the aroma of lemons and cranberries, raspberries and oranges wafted all around, encasing her in the scent. She was just about to add the sugar when the tin rattled with the sound of the last grains left.

Her brow furrowed as she opened the lid and looked inside. Sure, enough it was empty.

The woman huffed. She was absolutely positive she’d gotten the right amount during the last trip, but somewhere along the way it seemed a miscalculation had happened, and now she had to get more. Y/N would have asked Astarion, and had the sun dipped below the horizon, he would have jumped at the request, but alas his little vampiric predicament forbade him from walking during the day, the sun still high in the sky from what she could see through a tiny slit in the shutters.

Quickly, Y/N snuffed out the flame below the pot, untied her dirtied apron and grabbed a basket from the pantry, tying a pouch of coins to her side. She only needed sugar, but maybe she would grab some other necessities as well. They were low on Astarion’s favourite wine, one he claimed didn’t taste like vinegar at least.

“I’m off to the market really quick,” Y/N announced as she peeked into the living room, taking in Astarion as he flipped a page in a book. “Do you want anything?”

“No, my love.” He looked at her like a love-sick puppy. “Just your darling self back as quick as you can. I have picked up some… inspiration for your punishment if you will. Just as you suggested, of course.” He closed the book, showing the cover to her.

Heat crawled all over her body as she read the title, one of her smuttier romances she had started to read, and when she could do nothing but gulp and nod, his smile turned from a sweet one into a wicked-fanged thing. It was all she needed to know whatever awaited her once she was done would leave her unable to walk. Gods, she needed to finish this whole thing up as quickly as she could.

Y/N was out the doors like the wind, the usual stroll to the market cut from half an hour into a brisk fifteen-minute jog, the thoughts of the man waiting back home for her at the forefront of her mind.

The needed sugar, some coffee beans, a loaf of fresh bread, Astarion’s wine and some sour cream were all bought in quick succession, Y/N didn’t even try to haggle. Her eyes drifted across various stalls and merchants and she almost deemed it done when her gaze caught onto a rose seedling. It was a beautiful bloom with blood-red petals that whitened at the very tips. She smiled and went to buy it. Astarion would love the symbolism even if a bit too on the nose.

Once satisfied with everything, Y/N marched across the market and was back on the road to home. It was a humble little house they’d purchased with whatever had been left in their pockets after all was said and done with the tadpoles, but Astarion had bigger plans. This was only a temporary situation.

“I want a whole room full of books. Nothing but books from one end to the other and then some,” he’d confided in Y/N one night after both were panting and spent from multiple rounds of bringing the other to ecstasy.

“And a large ballroom,” he continued, and Y/N couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped her.

“A ballroom? And what will we do with that?”

“Why, have grand balls, of course!” He threw his hands up in the air as if her question was preposterous.

“Star…” Y/N tilted her head to look up at him from where she was lying on his naked chest. “You hate people. A ballroom full of them – it would be your literal nightmare.”

“I don’t hate people.”

“I don’t count.”

“Alright,” he conceded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Y/N placed her palm atop where his heart was and rested her chin on it, looking deep into his eyes. “I hate most people, simply dislike them, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a get-together, from time to time. Maybe… maybe see our friends. Catch up on how they’re doing. I absolutely despise to admit this and will say you are lying if you ever mention it to anyone, but I – I miss them… even Gale…”

A gentle smile lifted her lips as she brushed a wild curl out of his face and tucked it behind his pointy ear. “I think I’d really like that too.”

His eyes were so soft and full of love, that Y/N swore she could feel his heart beating once more in his chest, thudding against her palm in a confession of adoration.

She was almost out of the city by that point, already on the small, secluded road leading to their house which lay on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate right by the edges of the woods, so Astarion had easier access to game in between feeding on her when her attention was drawn back by someone calling out.

“Miss!” the voice, male she made out, yelled after her. “Miss, please wait!”

Instantly, her guard was up, but when a breathless man, looking to be in his late sixties appeared from behind a copse of trees, she somewhat relaxed. Y/N was still cautious, but if anything, she had a dagger holstered against her thigh. She was always prepared.

“Miss,” he gasped out, leaning his hands against his knees to catch his breath. “Miss, you are a quick one. I’ve been calling for you since by the rose stalls."

“Oh, I – I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you!” Y/N said but didn’t move forward. “How can I help?”

He huffed, as if regaining her breath, before fishing out a piece of fabric from his pocket, and extending it towards her. “You dropped this by the flowers.”

When she took a closer look at what he was holding, it seemed to be some sort of a silk scarf. She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t own silk scarves and definitely hadn’t worn one on such a warm day. “You must have mixed me up with someone, as it’s not mine. Sorry, for you to have troubled yourself like this.”

“No.” The man furrowed his brow, taking a step closer. “I am fairly certain I saw you drop it. Such a fine piece… didn’t want you to lose it.”

Y/N took a step back, angling herself in a defensive position with the basket in front of her. She didn’t like the tone he was speaking in, nor the way his eyes seemed to be appraising her. “No,” she asserted. “It’s not mine.”

His back stiffened, eyes growing cold, the grip on the scarf tightening as he hummed. “Well… a pity then.”        

She took another step back, but he was already lunging at her.

Dropping the basket to the ground, she reached for the knife strapped at her thigh, but he was quick as a viper as she hadn’t even noticed when a rope appeared in his hands, lashing it at her. Years of having fought had kept her agile and aware, but years of domestic bliss with Astarion had dulled her senses a bit.

The rope caught and wrapped around her ankle, knocking her to the ground. Y/N’s teeth clattered and snapped, her tongue almost in between them, but as he rushed to pin her down, she twisted her leg around the rope and pulled, making the man lose his balance and stumble.

It was enough for her to swipe her leg underneath his, and send him sprawling. It was enough for her to untangle her legs and roll away as he snapped it at her head. Her clothes were dirty as was her face, but it didn’t matter. She’d cover herself in blood if needed.

It was almost animalistic how she pounced – teeth bared, a snarl ripping from her throat and hands forming claws as if she would gouge at his face with just his nails, but as her palm brushed her thigh, unclipping the holster for her dagger, Y/N didn’t see the man had crouched on his knee and swung the cord.

It knocked the air out of her, as it wrapped around her chest, and he pulled her down, hard. Her ribs were screaming as the tether tightened and tightened with every pull, but as she thought this would be it, something strange happened – instead of offering her the killing blow, he opened a palm, now covered in a leather glove, and blew the contents of it onto her face.

Y/N coughed and sputtered, but whatever it was, was fast-acting and her lungs, still incapable of proper breathing due to the rope couldn’t expel it. In just a few seconds, the bright day around her turned into darkness.

She didn’t know how long she was unconscious for, but enough time had passed to dry out her throat. Or was that a side effect of whatever was blown into her face? In any case, as she slowly came to, Y/N noted there was a soft mattress under her body, which was an oddity for someone kidnapped. She could even tell the dagger was still by her thigh, the comforting weight of the blade pressed under her. Even weirder, if you asked her, to not disarm your victims.

Darkness still encompassed her, but the soft cloth against her cheeks told her she hadn’t permanently lost her vision, but with her sight obscured, she had to rely on her ears. That’s when voices invaded her senses.

There were three people somewhere further away, most likely in a different room if taken by how muffled the words were. She focused harder on what they were saying.

Two men and a female, Y/N differentiated, when the woman spoke.

“This is not what we agreed upon!” she hissed, and a grumbly-sounding man scoffed.

“You said to get her to you. I did. You never specified how.” It was the same man who’d knocked her out.

“We want her to help us!” A different male voice, this one softer, even kinder, rebutted. “I highly doubt kidnapping is a good incentive for that!”

“Look,” her assailant said. “I fulfilled my end of the deal. She is unhurt, maybe she'll sport a couple of bruises and a headache, but that is her own fault. She could have come willingly but didn’t. Other than that, though – she is completely fine. Now you do your part!”

As the trio argued between themselves, more angry whispers than shouting, Y/N started to shimmy her hands which had been bound, out of the restraints. She had a good inclination they needed her alive but had no want of staying as a prisoner.

Though her fighting skills seemed to have mellowed, which she was not happy about, even a couple of years without mortally dangerous adventures, hadn’t changed how quickly she could slip her wrists from their bindings.  Astarion might need to get more creative during their debauchery.

Y/N froze the second she heard a door open and shut, two pairs of footsteps moving closer and closer to where she was. Her breathing was shallow and almost imperceptible, as she tried to make it look like she was still unconscious.

She could sense two bodies enter the room and one move to stand where she faced, the other going to her back.

Y/N tensed. In just a few moments, whoever was behind her, would notice her undone binds. But she’d be ready.

“Darling, please be careful,” the woman said, a tremble in her voice.

Good. Let them be scared.

“Don’t worry,” the man replied. “I’ll just make sure she’s – what in the -”

But Y/N was already up, the blindfold off and ready to pounce. This time, she’d have the upper hand.

For a second, the light in the room blinded her, but her sight refocused fast enough to take in her captors’ faces.

The woman was beautiful, with high rosy cheekbones, and jade green eyes so vivid they looked like actual gemstones. Her hair was long and dark, down to her waist while grey strands seemed to have invaded the brown tresses in some places, but she was still ethereally gorgeous, her pointy ears covered in piercings.

Y/N snapped out of the shock quicker and using this to her advantage, she was behind her in a matter of a blink, her dagger pressed tight against her throat.

A gasp entered her ears, but she just pressed the blade harder, making her whimper.

“Please!” the man made her look at him, but instead of bracing for an attack, he had his hands up in surrender. “Please don’t hurt her! We just want to talk.”

“Funny way of having a conversation you’ve got there.” Y/N tightened her grip on the knife, surveying the man. Again, those same pointed ears, but his eyes were the most brilliant blue she’d ever seen and his face was marred with more age lines than the woman’s, yet he still was as gorgeous as she. “Typically, only my enemies would knock me out and tie me up before spilling their grand plans. But I will be kind and give you a choice – what would you like to be – friends or foes?”

“Friends! Friends! Please! We – we’re looking for our son!” the elven man pleaded. “And we – we heard a rumour that you might know him. Have even seen him.”

Y/N narrowed her Y/E/C eyes, piercing his with her gaze. “I’ve known and seen a lot of people. Usually, others just ask me about them, they don’t have someone kidnap me.”

“And we’re sorry, we’re so very sorry, but we had to make sure you came. It went too far and we apologise, but please…” He took in a deep breath, worried eyes flipping between his partner and her. “Our son – his name is Astarion. Astarion Ancunin. Have you – do you know of him?”

Hearing his name, knocked the breath out of her as if they’d snapped a rope around her chest again, making her stumble back. Her grip on the woman released, and she used the moment to leap over to her partner, using the bed as a buffer. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her half behind his back, but not before checking if Y/N’s dagger had pierced the skin.

Tears brimmed in the eleven woman’s green eyes as she looked at her, not even caring that just a moment before she was so close to having her blood dripping on the floor. “Please,” she whispered. “I – I know we didn’t go about it the right way, but please… is it true he’s alive?”

"I,” Y/N stammered, her gaze snapping back and forth between the two.

Astarion.

They were Astarion’s parents.

Even after all this time, they were searching for their missing son.

Y/N should have noticed the details – how the woman had a small mole on her cheek right where Astarion did, how the shape of the man’s eyes was the exact same as his son’s. Astarion even had the same high cheekbones as his mother while his sharp jaw was that of his father.

What had his eyes been like before? Green like his mother’s or the sky blue of his father's? What had he been like as a child? No doubt as mischievous and scheme-prone as he was now, but who had he gotten it from? So many different questions rattled through Y/N’s brain as she kept glancing back and forth, before shaking her head and pulling her out of the shocked stupor.

“You – you’re Ancunins?” She had to ask. Had to make sure she hadn’t overheard them or maybe hallucinating because of the powder she’d inhaled.

“Yes.” The woman nodded, brushing tears from under her eyes. “Our son has been missing for more than two hundred years, and we almost lost hope until… until we heard about you and your company a few years back. How one of the party members resembled our little Star so much.”

They hadn’t been inconspicuous, though they had tried, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that tales of their adventures had gone far and wide, especially after saving Baldur’s Gate, killing Cazador and the absolute, and Gods know how many other evils along the way. But she never thought Astarion’s parents would have heard of it.

In fact, Astarion had barely even mentioned them over the years, and, for whatever reason, Y/N had concluded they must have passed, despite knowing elves lived extremely long lives. Had he maybe tried to find them on his own and couldn’t? Or had he forgotten about them?

Until Astarion and Y/N had become an official couple and she’d commissioned a portrait of him as a gift on an anniversary, he hadn’t even seen himself in two centuries. He’d forgotten what he looked like. It didn’t seem too crazy to assume, the memories of his parents’ names or their faces, might’ve slipped away as well, or even the love they had for him. Especially knowing how deeply Cazador had ruined that notion for him.

She needed to get home. She needed to see Astarion, and then she could figure out what to do.

“I need to go.” Y/N nodded to herself, muttering under her breath. “I need to think.”

“No, please!” the woman lunged, trying to grasp at her, but she had a knife pointed at her chest in an instant, making the elf shrivel back, but still, she pleaded. “Please help us. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate! If you can’t help, who will?”

“I promise I will do my best,” Y/N said. “But I need time… I – I need to figure all of this out.”

Her mind was swirling like a hurricane, but the man interrupted her breakdown as she realised how pretty much her in-laws, had kidnapped her. “At least tell us this – is – is it true he is alive? Or have we travelled across Faerun under the pretences of false hope?”

In truth, Y/N wanted to take them by the arms and drag them to her house, but whether Astarion wanted to reach out and reconnect, was up to him. That sort of a choice was not hers to make, but she could grant them this one request.

“He is.” Y/N nodded.

And then she left as quickly as she could because if she had to stand there and watch as the elves crumbled into one another, cries of relief and joy escaping into the slowly setting day, she would crumble too. Their faces were already permanently burned into her mind, and she needed a moment to process everything.

By a stroke of luck or fate, Y/N instantly recognised she was in the woods on the other side of Baldur’s Gate, so retracing her steps to the market was fairly easy even though the whole way back home, she was pretty much stumbling around in a daze, knocking into people and tripping over her own two legs.

Her discarded basket was right where she’d left it, gold coins scattered around it. The pouch must’ve broken during the struggle. Y/N made sure to pick every single piece up and was more than relieved to see, that the rose bloom was still intact.

By the time she arrived, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and as the last rays warmed her back, she extended her palm to open the door, though she didn’t even get to touch the handle as it was ripped open by a visibly distressed Astarion.

His eyes looked like he’d been crying, his hair as if he’d been relentlessly raking his fingers through the locks and his lower lip so bitten, there was a small hole where one of his incisors had gone through.

“Oh, thank the Gods!” Astairon instantly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in a bone-crushing hug, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. “Thank the Gods!”

Y/N dropped the basket over the threshold and closed the door with her foot, her own arms weaving around his middle, a palm soothingly brushing along his side, as he soaked her in.

“I’m alright, Star,” she said, kissing his temple and didn’t even make a noise as he gripped her waist tighter, right where bruises were forming. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, but I’m alright.”

“What happened? You said you’d be quick, but you were gone for hours! And you know what the worst part was – I couldn’t even go out looking for you because of the damned fucking sun!” Astarion cupped her face, turning it this way and that way, trying to find any injuries, but the biggest one would be in her head as she tried to figure out how to explain to him what had happened. “Gods, I am never letting you out of my sight again!”

Y/N indulged the vampire in the hug he pulled her in, holding him against her chest, trying to comfort him, but she was way too consumed with her new findings. Too quickly, as evident by the frown on Astarion’s face, she untangled herself from the embrace, anxiety immediately flashing over his handsome features.

She slid her arms from around his waist to take his palms into hers. “I – I don’t even know how to say this… How do you say something like that?”

Worry instantly marred his brow, and Y/N pressed a practised thumb between them, trying to soothe them away.

“Shit…” he muttered. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No!” She cupped his cheeks. “Astarion you’ve done nothing!”

“Then – then what?” He was tentative, still, scared Y/N might be angry at him. Or worse – wanted to leave, but her next words erased all that doubt.

“I…” She took in a deep breath. “Astarion, I met your parents today.”

Whatever he had expected, clearly that hadn’t been it. Probably a confession she’d met a past love, that their feelings were reignited and she wanted to go with them. But definitely not that.

He blinked once, twice, trice, completely and utterly stupefied before a small whisper of “What?” passed his lips.

“It’s why I’m so late,” Y/N explained. “They’d heard a rumour, that I knew you and had travelled with you during our tadpole situation, and came to me. Astarion, your parents are looking for you…”

A million thoughts seemed to swirl in his head, but Y/N held onto his hand through all of them.

“What,” he cleared his throat, “what did you tell them?”

“That I’d find them once I figured out what to do?”

“Which means?”

“Which means I would come home, give you this information and let you figure out what you’d like to do…”

So many emotions flashed across his face, but Y/N no longer needed that mind flayer tadpole connection it created – Astarion was an open book for her to read.

Joy. Such indisputable joy shone in his scarlet eyes before being consumed by confusion. Then anger and disgust and love, but by the end of it all his heart settled on one feeling – fear.

It’s what it knew best, though Y/N had tried her hardest to reduce it to ashes, yet still it lingered. She understood it, despite not being happy he ever had to feel it.

He feared what to do, what would be the right choice to make, he feared their reactions and what they would say of his disappearance or of his newest… condition. Would they accept him? Or would they be repulsed by him?

“What – what would I even say to them?” Astarion searched her Y/E/C eyes as if they held an answer, but when one magically didn’t appear, he hung his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I can’t even remember what they looked like. Their names, the house we used to live in… it’s all a fog.”

Y/N tried to give him an encouraging smile. “Well, your mother – she has the most beautiful green eyes. Like that dress you made for me for Summer Solstice, that same shade. And – and she has a little beauty mark on her cheek.” With a gentle thumb, she brushed over the mole. “Right in that same spot.”

His brows furrowed in concentration; his lips pinched tightly. “I – I remember blue eyes. Not green.”

“That might be your father's. His are azure I’d say. Like the summer sky. Gods, Astarion,” Y/N breathed out. “You look so much like them, but… honestly, the only thing you need to know right now is that they looked relieved.” Her voice was soothing as he tried to find lies in her words, but there would be none. “I didn’t tell them anything apart from the fact that you’re alive, and all I saw was complete and utter relief.”

Y/N placed a strand of hair behind his ear as he pondered. His carmine eyes slid to hers. “Do they want to see me?”

“Yes. It was the whole reason they sought me out because I might have a single scrap of information on you.” She’d mention the kidnapping later. Or maybe never, depending on how everything went. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Is it,” he hesitated, as if ashamed to be asking such a question. “Is it alright if I think this over for a bit? I’m just – there’s so much going on in my head…”

“Of course, Star!” Y/N cupped his cheeks and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, his shoulders dropping, but she just shook her head.

“Nothing to thank me for. Not for this.”

And so, they continued on like that for a few days – Y/N didn’t bring the subject up, but she made sure Astarion knew, she’d be there whenever he needed to talk. Yet her mind couldn’t help but worry about the two elves in that little cottage on the other side of the town. How horrid it must be to wait for an answer that might never come, but her love was her first and only priority. When he decided it would be time, she’d support him no matter what.

It was a week after the revelation (and subsequent freakout on Astarion’s part when Y/N had removed her clothes before him, and he saw the raw skin and bruises on her ribs. She spent the whole night convincing him it was fine and talking him down from hunting the mercenary and bleeding him dry. She didn’t mention it had been his parents who’d hired him but rather said it had been an unfortunate coincidence), when Astarion awoke with a certain determination, shaking her awake.

She swatted at him like an insect buzzing by her ear. “Leave me be, you blood-sucking, elf!” Y/N grumbled, burying herself under the duvet. “It’s too early. And stop hogging the covers!”

She was just about to elbow him in the ribs if he didn’t let her sleep more, but what he said was like cold ice being poured over her, waking her up completely.

“I think I want to see my parents.”

Y/N was sat in a second. The sheet dropped down, exposing her naked chest, but she didn’t even feel the chilly air biting at her skin, even though Astarion’s gaze immediately dropped down to her breasts, eyes blazing with want.

Rolling her own eyes, she pulled the cover so that it obscured her indecency. Though it was his favourite outfit of hers, they needed to focus on the important things. “Are you sure? You can take all the time you need. There is no rush to this, and it’s a huge decision to make.”

“I’m sure,” Astarion sighed, running a hand through his moon-white locks and dropping back onto the pillows. “It’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about.”

Y/N worried her lip before sliding back down next to him, letting him wrap his arms around her body. She knew in moments like these, Astarion needed reassurance, and he craved being close to her. Holding her grounded him, and made his scattered thoughts into something solid.

She kissed right above where his heart lay. “If, you’re sure.”

“I am… I just… Will you be there?” Astarion looked down at her.

The woman gave him a smile. “Nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.”

Gently, he brushed a finger against her cheekbone and leaned to kiss her, thankful he’d found someone to walk the world with, especially during the moments he feared he might break.

The day before they’d decided on meeting, Y/N ventured out to the cabin to inform the elven couple of Astarion’s decision. Once they’d seen her walking up through the window, they were out before she even managed to get to the door, faces full of hope.

“Astarion, he wants to come and see you, but there are some… conditions…”

His mother’s brow furrowed, the grimace so familiar it sent a pang through Y/N’s heart, but she swallowed it. “Whatever he needs. Whatever you both need. Anything for our little Star.”

“So… please just don’t question this, but umm… physical contact – I know I can’t possibly understand how you feel, but let him come to you first. It might not make sense, but it’s important that he is the one to make that step.”

“Of course,” Astarion's father nodded, his mother eagerly agreeing.

“And umm… he’ll be different. He might not look like the elf you remember him being. The world wasn’t kind to him for a long time… Please don’t mention this.”

Pain flashed across their faces at her words. They must have assumed something horrible had happened to him, but to have it confirmed was a different kind of agony. But as Y/N had asked – they didn’t question, simply nodded, holding onto one another a bit tighter.

“Alright.” Her heart was somewhat settled. “Thank you. We – uh- we’ll see you later tonight then.”

And with that, she left only to find Astarion pacing the inside of their hallway upon her return.

“Is it sundown already?” He snapped his neck to her as she removed her cloak, visibly upset when Y/N shook her head.

“A couple more hours, I’m afraid,” she said, taking his hand and kissing his palm, placing it against her cheek. “Please stop worrying. It will all be alright.”          

“But what if I’m making a mistake?”

She raised her brow. “Do you think you’re making a mistake?”

“N-no?” Astarion huffed. “I don’t know. I know I want to see them at least once, but what if it’s best to leave the past in the past? Why torture myself and exhume it, so to speak?”

“You can leave it all behind if that’s what you wish. But, Star, you also have the rarest of opportunities people get – a second chance.” She stepped close to him, pulling his head down by the nape of his neck so they could rest their foreheads against one another. “But you can always leave. You can always say “no.” And if someone doesn’t get that, no matter who they might be, I will gut them navel to throat.”

Astarion chuckled, brushing his nose against hers. “My knight in bloody armour, always ready to ride into battle for me.”

Y/N pecked his lips in response. “As long as I get my kisses at the end of it ��� without a second to spare.”

They spent the couple of hours waiting until the sun went down cleaning up around the house and then it was time to go.

As Astarion took a deep breath before closing the door, Y/N squeezed his hand. “We can turn back whenever you want to.”

But he seemed determined, only giving her a reassuring smile and twining their fingers together, her hand in his solid hold.

They walked slowly, enjoying the warm night gracing Baldur’s Gate, and soon enough they were through the city and past the woods, a small log cabin coming into view.

He stopped them a few feet away, taking in a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions.

Y/N glanced at him encouragingly. “Are you ready, Star?”

Astarion took in a deep breath, held it in for a moment and then exhaled, nodding. With this confirmation, she released his hand and ventured to the door, gently rapping her knuckles against it, immediately returning to stand beside her lover.

Instantly his palm was back into hers, as if he needed her to ground him, reassure him everything would be alright as nervous energy coursed through his veins while they waited for the inhabitants to come and see them. And though it was probably no more than ten seconds since she’d knocked, it felt like time had stood still. Once the doors opened, even nature quieted down.

The breeze shushed the tweeting birds and seemingly even the worms digging underground stopped their burrowing as finally, after two hundred years, the lost Ancunin son returned.

They stood like that for what seemed like ages, just taking one another in, before a small sob of Astarion’s name from his mother’s lips broke the spellbound silence.

It’s when he rushed for her, the elf already on her feet, meeting him halfway. Her arms wrapped tight around his body, hands smoothing down the back of his head as all the while she kept whispering “My Star, my little Star, you’re home.”

Y/N was on standby, ready to rip her away if Astarion became overwhelmed. She’d asked them to allow him to be the one to make the first step, and they had, but with such all-encompassing feelings, she just wanted him to be safe.

Though all that anxiety dissipated like ice under the blazing hear of the sun when Astarion practically melted against his mother, his fingers digging into her shoulders and back as if he never wished to be let go, both of them crumbling to their knees, still in each other’s embrace.

Tears welled along Y/N’s bottom lashes and when his father joined them, wrapping his arms around his family, they fell like rain on an autumn evening. She had to press a hand against her mouth to not sob out loud, but it didn’t seem like anyone would care, as Y/N noted Astarion’s shoulders shaking while his mother and father were freely crying, all the while touching and caressing his face, trying to ingrain the memory of having their son back in their arms.

She couldn’t imagine that feeling, didn’t ever want to, of finally being reunited with a family which you were so brutally ripped away from. Y/N almost wanted to resurrect Cazador, just so she could drive a stake through his heart again, but that might’ve been a bit too morbid of a thought in such a tender moment.

“You’re home.” His mother pulled back, cupping Astarion’s cheeks and smiling from ear to ear. “Our little Star is back home.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he choked out, but his father shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re here. That’s enough for us.”

Y/N watched as he took in the people who’d searched for him relentlessly. He never knew they’d never given up. She wondered if there would be a time, he’d believe he was worth all it. She certainly hoped so.

“Thank you,” the elf with eyes like jade said, snapping her eyes towards Y/N. “You have no idea what kind of a gift you’ve bestowed upon us. We will never be able to repay you.”

She could only wave them off, a knot in her throat. “You owe me nothing. Seeing this – this is enough for me. I’ll – uh – I’ll leave you to it then.”

Just as she was about to turn around, Astarion jumped to his feet, untangling himself from the limbs of his parents, eyes full of concern. “What? Why? What’s wrong?” He was by her side in an instant, pulling her hand to rest against his chest.

“Nothing!” Y/N shook her head. “I just – I just think maybe I should take my leave. I can be back in a few hours if you’d like, but this just all seems like – like a private family reunion.”

Astarion scoffed, his free arm weaving around her waist, completely offended. “And what exactly do you think you are to me if not family, my love? Arguably, you might be the most important part of it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that -,”

“Hush now!” he scolded her. “You promised to be by my side through everything. Are you breaking that promise?”

“No, I just,” she stammered. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave you to it? This just feels awfully personal.”

“My love, you are the keeper of my heart. You are my true home.” Astarion cupped her cheek, resting his brow against hers, chest against chest, not caring who might see. “Without you, none of this would have happened. I could still be on that beach with a mind flayer tadpole wriggling behind my eye.” He took her hand, and kissed her knuckles, sighing as they brushed against his jaw. “I don’t want to do this without you. I want to relearn who my parents are, and I want them to get to know me, but a non-negotiable part of that is you. That is if it’s alright with you?”

A tear slipped down her cheek, as she looked deep into those ruby eyes that once held nothing but fear and pain, only to now show love and compassion and happiness. When she smiled, her grin could have rivalled the sun itself. “I’d be honoured.”

When they glanced at the two elves by the threshold of the house, they noted the horrified looks on their faces. Astarion’s guard was immediately up, but his mother beat him to it.

“My Star, I am so sorry!” She put a hand over her mouth. “We swear we didn’t know you two were lovers! We just...” She glanced at her husband in desperation, but it seemed the little scene they’d put on had rendered him speechless. “Had we known, we would have never…”

Astarion squinted at her, a dangerous note appearing in his voice. “Never would have what?”

“Oh Gods, we had your partner kidnapped,” his father finally got out, eyes only widening in more shock as it settled that Y/N wasn’t just a travelling companion or a friend, but just what she really meant to Astarion.

“You did what?!” His head snapped to Y/N who now retreated to stand between the two shocked elves, and her quite furious boyfriend.

“Astarion, it’s alright,” she tried to calm him down. “They didn’t know! Besides, I heard them arguing with that mercenary. They didn’t hurt me. In fact, I,” she let out a nervous chuckle, “I held a knife to your mother’s throat. So, call it even and let’s move past it?”

His gaze was hot like the flames, as it burned into her. “We will discuss this later.” He pointed an accusatory finger at her before taking a deep breath and exhaling. “This is absolutely not how I ever imagined a family reunion to go, let alone the introduction of my partner.”

Y/N’s shoulders dropped as he broke the settled tension, but something in his eyes told her she’d pay for her omissions. And oh, how delicious that punishment would be.

His mother still seemed to be all nerves as she invited them inside, spouting apologies in Y/N’s direction, but when she took the elf's hand in hers and gave a comforting embrace, she relaxed a little. “Let’s let the bygones be bygones.”

“I’d appreciate that,” she smiled, and wrinkles of age and time appeared around her eyes.

It was awkward at first, two centuries of hurt laying between them, two centuries of torture on Astarion’s end, of lost love and people, but slowly they opened up. And when his mother mentioned how he always used to bury his nose into strawberry fields, because it reminded him of his mother’s hair care products, it was like a damn had been opened.

The memories were still there, buried under layers of pain and horrors, but there. Maybe a little jumbled up and out of sorts, but with every hour spent together, locks were being broken and a light long lost lit up again.

Astarion had changed, but so had his parents. He let them know of his adventures, how he met Y/N and how she had turned his world upside down but abstained from the more gruesome parts. He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but if he so wished, she knew his parents would be there to listen and welcome his vulnerably with open arms.

An hour before the sun resumed its place in the sky, Y/N nudged Astarion, telling him it was time to leave. She had little doubt in her mind, his parents had caught onto what he was, even if they hadn’t mentioned Cazador. If not for the shape of his elongated canines, or the colour of his eyes, which Y/N had found out had been a beautiful shade of pale green, then because of the brutal scars on his neck. But they still pulled him into a hug with such vigour, it was like they feared they’d never see him again, which was probably a thought always haunting their minds.

“Would – would you like to come over to ours?” Astarion asked, still holding onto his mother’s hands. “It’s a bit of a mess, our place, but if you come after the sun’s down, I’m sure we can have it proper enough to take on guests.”

It was an odd request, but thankfully, neither his mother nor father said anything about the specific time request, simply hugged him once more and promised to be by their door the second the sun dipped, wine and lemon cakes in hand.

As they waved their goodbyes, Astarion slipped his palm into Y/N’s and made sure they walked all the way back like that. Once behind a closed door, he pulled her into his chest relishing in the way their bodies melded together – two puzzle pieces finally connecting and forming the most magnificent picture to exist.

“What is it like to be finally home?” Y/N asked as he swayed them to a tune only, he heard.

Astarion shook his head, pulling slightly back so he could cup her jaw. “My love, I have been home for a long time now. I’ve been safe and cared for, all thanks to you.” His eyes were so full of love and adoration, she almost choked on a breath. “Now… now it just feels complete. So thank you… thank you for being my home,” he muttered that little confession against her skin, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

“Always, my love.” Y/N didn’t hide the tears rolling down her face and he brushed them away with a soft thumb. “Always.”

When their gazes locked, all she could see was excitement for what the new day had to offer, and she knew whatever was in store, as long as they were by one another’s side, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.

But for all that, there was an important thing she was unaware of.

As Y/N entered their living room, talking to herself and making a list of what they had to do before his parents arrived, Astarion stood and watched her, leaning against the doorframe, all the while his hands rested in his pocket, where in one of them, a beautiful ring was being twirled between his fingers.

Before they’d left, his mother had slyly pulled it off her own hand, pressing it into his palm, and whispering to him while hugging that she didn’t want to see Y/N without it the next time around.

Astarion had no intention of living his life without Y/N as his fiancé for a second longer.

When she turned around to find him on one knee, he didn’t even get to ask the question before she responded with a shout of “Yes!” and jumped on him, pulling him into a kiss he swore breathed life into his still chest.

He couldn’t wait to reintroduce Y/N to his parents as his intended.

Now all was as it should be. He was finally home. And somewhere in the garden, a rose bloomed in full.

Tags:

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue @im-squished @strangersstranger

Astarion tags: @spacebarbarianweird

A/N: This idea was inspired by that one post of a painting Astarion's parents probably had of him, but had put away somewhere just so they didn't have to look a the son they lost, so I rectified it (Link to the inspo pic :) :( Now they have a portrait of Astarion and his love right above their fire place :)

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don't plagiarise or repost on other platforms.

[fiction-is-life]

Congratulations on 500 non-bot followers! I just joined the ranks after reading the angstly little treat you did for @eleanor-bradstreet 🤩

I would like to request a blurb for Anthony from your prompt list. #8 - "Looks like we'll be trapped for a while."

This is so fun!

Trapped and Titillated

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the follow, love, and for your kind words! I am so glad you liked Touchstone of Our Character!  I had so much fun writing this request; it is quite a bit longer than a blurb, but I hope that makes up for the fact it has taken me so long to write it!  Enjoy!

Summary: You are trapped with the Viscount.

Warnings: Angst, getting locked in a room, verbal fighting, steamy make out session, brotherly teasing

~

The door wouldn’t budge.  Oh, I knew when that latch clicked, I was doomed.  Utterly doomed.  And it was all his fault.

“Well, you have done it now, my lord,” I seethed, letting the veneer of polite reserve fall away.  It was always thin around him anyway.

Anthony Bridgerton had the audacity to raise one perfect, dark brow.  “I have done it?” he intoned, his voice cutting through my rising panic, reinforcing who I was angry at.

“Yes,” I hissed.  “You shut the door behind you, and now it is jammed.  It may be hours before someone comes by and finds us, and what then?”

He took a step towards me, matching the one I had subconsciously taken, bringing us closer than society would deem acceptable.  “As far as I am concerned, I have only done what was my right.  This is my library in my home, and I may shut any door I please.”

“Not when an unmarried young lady is in said library - unaccompanied.  Or have you forgotten the rules of the Ton while you were busy raking about the kingdom?” I knew I had struck my mark when I saw the Viscount’s eyes darken, his whole body tensing.

“Miss (Y/L/N), you do not know of what you speak,” he said through clenched teeth, and I shivered from the ice in his tone.  Anthony certainly did not miss it.  “I was raised a gentleman, Miss (Y/L/N), as a member of one of the most respected families in all of England, no less.”  

I scoffed and raised my chin and matched his stance.  We were practically nose-to-nose with each other.  “Well, there must be an exception to every rule, my lord, and I suppose you are it.”

I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them, terrified at the way his features turned from red-hot anger to a cold, stony silence.  I took a shaky breath.  “M-my lord, I apologize.  I believe I am overwrought from the events of today.  Please forgive me,” I spoke in a rush, not daring to make eye contact with those dark depths again.

A long moment passed before he cleared his throat, his complexion returned to a more normal hue but his posture still stiff.  “It looks like we'll be trapped for a while, Miss (Y/L/N).  We may as well make ourselves comfortable," he spoke in a clipped, quiet tone.  For some odd reason, I wished he would have yelled instead.

He must have noticed the look of panicked confusion on my face as I alternated between staring at him and the couches near the fire.  “Do not fear, Miss (Y/L/N), I shall strive to reign in my more ungentlemanly urges.  Your virtue is safe from me.”

I bit my lip, nodding at his words.  They were what I wanted to hear.  Right?  Oh, dash it!  I had never been prone to hysterics before, but something about being this close to the Viscount was making my thoughts and feelings a muddle.  So, I did the only thing that felt safe.

I pretended to read.

I believed it was working, too.  That is, until the Viscount cleared his throat again.  I wanted to roll my eyes at the realization that the smallest of his gestures still commanded attention.  I was looked over during a one-on-one conversation, but Lord Anthony Bridgerton could simply breathe in a certain way and every head would turn.

“Is there something you need, my lord?”  I asked, my eyes still blindly trained on the pages in front of me so that I missed his growing smirk.

“You must be a great reader, Miss (Y/L/N),” he said.

I raised one perfectly arched eyebrow.  “Yes, I do love a good book,” I returned, turning the page.

“You are most certainly a more avid reader than I.”

That made me look up at him, confusion wrinkling my brow.  “Why do you say that, my lord?” 

He openly smiled now, allowing me to see that little dimple in his one cheek.  “I have never mastered the art of reading words that are upside-down.”

“What?”  I looked down and finally saw what book I had picked up.  It was a tome on new farming practices, and it was indeed upside down.  

Well, I could not let him win that easily.  “I find I absorb the words much better when it is more difficult to read them.”  I looked down my nose as I had seen many women do.  “I believe it is important to challenge oneself, so one does not become ignorant and vain.”

His features twisted into a wry grin.  “Very true, Miss (Y/L/N),” he said in a tight voice.  He crossed over to the sofa I was sitting on and sat down - far too close for comfort.  “What are other pursuits that you find are challenging enough, may I ask?”

I knew he was goading me, but I simply could not back down from his challenge.  “Any activities I find rewarding, I suppose.”  I closed the book and tilted my head, staring him in the eye.  “Making sound investments, helping run the household, volunteering for charities,” I listed, not even trying to mask the smugness in my tone.  “Basically anything that contributes to society, unlike spending every night at gaming hells or with ladies of the night or -”

His lips crashed onto mine, cutting me off.  I felt positively surrounded by him as he crushed me into the back of the sofa, his strong arms encircling my waist and pulling me into him.  He smelled of bay rum and mint, and it was utterly intoxicating.  

At first, I was too shocked to react, but as his lips moved insistently on my own, I started to follow his lead.  He growled when I parted my lips, and my eyes shot open when he darted his tongue into my mouth, but it felt too good to pull away.  So, I pulled him closer.

My hands tangled in his dark locks, and when my fingers caught on a knot, Anthony pulled back slightly, moaning.  I gasped and pulled back.  “Did I hurt you, my lord?” I asked, concerned.

He groaned again, his eyes darkening further.  “Call me that again,” he growled, panting heavily.

My face twisted in confusion.  “My lord?”

“Yes,” he breathed, his lips finding mine again.  His hands wandered this time, sending pings of pleasure straight to my core.  I couldn’t hold back my own noises when his strong hands found my breasts, my nipples pebbling embarrassingly.  

I lost track of time as Anthony peppered wet kisses down my neck and over the swells of my breasts where my dress did not cover them.  He started to work his hand under the skirt of my dress when a crash was heard on the other side of the library.  

“Brother! Are you in here?  I need to get away from all of the matchmaking endeavours mother has concocted,” the voice of Anthony’s brother, Benedict, was heard.  Anthony’s head snapped up, a panicked look in his eyes.  

“Stay here.  I shall get rid of him,” Anthony whispered before rising from the sofa, straightening his jacket where I had mussed it.  “Brother.  You find me at an inopportune time.  I was just leaving,” he called out to his brother, trying to prevent him from seeing me.

“Why?  You already met with the steward this morning.  You have nothing else planned until dinner.”  Even I could hear the skepticism in Benedict’s voice as it grew closer.  

“Well, yes, but I thought I might go for a ride,” Anthony hedged.

“Wonderful!  I shall join you!”

“No!” Anthony shouted.  “I mean, I was wishing to ride out alone this time,” he finished in a more tempered tone.  

There was a long pause where I thought Benedict just may have believed the lie.  “Are you sure you want to be alone?  Because I think Miss (Y/L/N) might disagree.”  I gasped.  “I shall see you at dinner, brother, Miss (Y/L/N),” he said, a door closing behind him shortly after.  

I sat up with a huff, my cheeks flaming a brighter red than they had been before.  “I am sorry; I did not think anyone would follow me here -”

“What door did he come through?” I interrupted what was sure to be a very eloquent apology.

Now, the Viscount’s cheeks turned red and he scratched the back of his neck nervously.  “Well, um, he used the hidden entrance in the south wall.”

“Oh, you cad!” I screamed.  “Open it.  Now, my lord.”

Anthony silently moved toward the south wall, pulling a certain book back to reveal a hidden door.  I gathered my dignity about me as I fixed my skirts.  I caught a whiff of his cologne once more as I passed him, and for a brief moment, I wanted to turn back.  Instead, I held my head high, giving the Viscount one of those superior looks other ladies had mastered.  I wanted him to know I was not to be trifled with.

But I knew this was not the end of my encounters with the Viscount.

~

My Masterlist

[halfhissandwich]

What your favorite Sanders Sides episode says about you because I’m binging the series rn and I wanna do this. All of this is a joke, I’m just being silly

My True Identity: Wow look at the fun little identity crisis series! Would be a shame if this goes downhill, right? Yeah, that’s what denial of the inevitable sounds like.

Way Too Adult: I’m willing to bet you’re a fan of the Unsympathetic Patton stuff. Just the vibe I get.

Taking on Anxiety!: I’m so sorry for the atrocities that have occurred in this fandom regarding Virgil. All you wanted was a sassy little emo boy and the fandom made him the embodiment of uwu, I’M SO SORRY-

A New Year of Lying to Myself… In Song!: You just like the song. I feel you, I like the song too.

The Dark Side of Disney!: We meet again, prinxiety shippers. :)

I’m in a Disney show!: Your favorite character is C!Thomas.

The Mind vs. The Heart: I won’t say you’re a logicality shipper… but if they got married, you definitely wouldn’t complain.

Dad’s Big Game Day Tips: … Daddy issues. I’m sorry, it needed to be said.

Alone on Valentines Day: I don’t have a joke here, but I’ll just say that my first thought was “aromantic”, so take that as you will.

Losing My Motivation: Oh my gosh. We get it. Logan is wonderful. That’s the 5th PowerPoint you’ve made today. Please just let me go home.

Q&A: You want an updated one. Me too, buddy, me too.

Am I Original: Going back and rewatching this video after POF makes you cry every single time.

My Negative Thinking: Hey analogical shippers, how are you doing? Still starving? … anyway let’s do some more logicality and prinxiety, shall we? :)

Growing Up: You’re everything that the people who’s favorite episode is “Losing My Motivation” are, but for Patton, and you don’t understand why the fandom thinks he’s kind of problematic.

Making Some Changes: *obnoxious chanting* LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAM-

Becoming A Cartoon: … I won’t say anything. I won’t crush your dreams. I’ll just observe, smile, nod and just move on.

Accepting Anxiety: I don’t blame you, a lot of work was put into that episode. By the way you know you can ship prinxiety platonically, right? You can like it platonically without liking it romantically, I-I hope you know that-

Fitting In: You’re actively choosing to ignore drama online and I’m impressed with that, also you are aware that it’s messed up to bash Thomas for making a Harry Potter video 6 years ago, IT WAS SIX YEARS AGO AND HE LIKED HARRY POTTER, DON’T YOU DARE CANCEL THOMAS FOR THAT-

Moving On: Sorry, I’d write a joke for this one but I’m too busy crying-

12 Days Of Christmas: holy wow- no thoughts, head empty. You saw the colorful and festive little Christmas special and you actually said “:D” out loud.

Can Lying be Good: THEATER KIDS, ASSEMBLE!

Why do we get out of bed in the morning?: You probably said one thing in support of logince at one point in your entire life and you got chased with pitchforks by the prinxiety shippers and then Roman started bullying Logan, I am so sorry for this fandom’s sins :(

Crofters the musical: You’re basically Roman in this episode. “But look at him now! (Cue Logan chugging jam like a fucking madman) He’s just so COOL!”

Learning New Things About Ourselves: Your motto is “angst doesn’t exist if I can’t see it.”

Embarrassing Phases: I… completely forgot this episode existed. This is your favorite? I’m not judging your taste or anything, but what’s with your taste?

Selfishness v. Selflessness: Your favorite design? Janus. Your favorite personality? Janus. Your favorite ship? A Janus ship. Your favorite side? … Logan.

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts: Remus’ abandonment issues aren’t canon. But if I say that too loud, then you people might stab me, so nevermind.

Are There Healthy Distractions: Apparently this episode’s plot of Thomas forgiving his previously homophobic friend is an analogy for Thomas forgiving Virgil for having been a dark side. That’s the connection! I missed it too! I thought it was a silly Frozen episode too! IT’S ABOUT VIRGIL!

Putting Others First: … guys, you can stop fighting the moceit vs roceit war, neither of them will ever be canon. ALSO HOLY WOW PATTON IS A FROG AND HE’S RIPPED FOR SOME REASON, WHAT THE FU-

Flirting With Social Anxiety: Your number one headcanon for the season 2 finale is a direct Frozen quote where Patton is like “Thomas you can’t marry a man you just met” and Roman is like “you can if it’s true love! >:0” (also hi again prinxiety shippers!)

Working Through Intrusive Thoughts: You have anger issues and you relate to Logan. Or you’re just happy to see the silly, goofy, demented Duke with fandom-inflicted abandonment issues!

[positivelyholland]

Suprises

pairing: chris evans x daughter!reader 

genre: fluff 

warnings: angst for a minute there, paparazzi, getting lost, let me know if i missed any

summary: after your dad suprised you with a daddy-daughter date, you run into some suprise paparazzi and get scared

A/N this is (almost) the exact same as my other tom cruise fic, but just with chris evans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey y/n/n, do you have any plans for the day” your dad walked over to where you were sitting on the couch, lazily watching Bluey. 

“Considering it's 6pm on a Tuesday, no” you sarcastically responded. Chris finds it funny how you're the only person on God's green earth who can get away with teasing him. 

“Great! Go get some nice-ish clothes on and I’ll meet you in the car in 15 minutes” before you could respond to his words, he ran away to god knows where. 

Feeling confused and nervous but also excited for whatever your dad had planned, you hurry up to your room to go start getting ready. 

You did some light and simple makeup that made you look even more beautiful (although Chris would argue you're pretty no matter what, you are his daughter after all). After finishing your lip gloss, you went to go pick out an outfit, which was the hardest part. 

It's moments like these where you swear there's absolutely nothing to wear, but chris (and most people) would say otherwise due to your huge closet full of designer pieces since you are the daughter of Chris Evans after all. 

It wasn't until after you had trashed your room and basically emptied out your whole closet that you were able to decide on a long-sleeved, dark blue sundress. 

Taking one last look in the mirror and spraying some perfume all over your body, you decided you looked good. Well, you had to be at least a little content at this point since it had been 20 minutes since the conversation with your dad and he had been honking at you from his car for the past 5 minutes. 

Running as fast as you can in heels (which was pretty fast considering how many fancy events you've been to with your dad), you grabbed your phone and purse before joining Chris in the car. 

As you opened the car door and (not so gracefully) stepped in, your dad gave you a big hug. 

“Wow, you're definitely my daughter with how pretty you look tonight” he teased, to which you just rolled your eyes and thanked him in response. 

The drive to wherever he was taking you was only about 20 minutes long, but those 20 minutes were full of jamming out to 80s ballads and singing your heart out until you finally arrived at an expensive 5-star restaurant.

You checked out your surroundings, and once you finally realized that's where you were, you looked at your dad in shock. 

“Are you being serious right now, dad?” you asked him, voice filled with excitement. To which Chris just shook his head with the brightest smile on his face as the 'yes' answer to your question.

Although you were parked decently far from the restaurant, Chris made it an enjoyable walk in order for you to not focus on how bad your feet hurt in your heels. Whether it was chatting about life, telling jokes, or even just pulling silly faces at each other, he made sure you wouldn't focus on the pain your feet must've been enduring.

You got to the fancy doors before walking into the restaurant and then were quickly led to your seats on the balcony, thanks to your dad’s string-pulling skills. 

~~~

After eating some of the most delicious food you've ever had in your life, and having the best time laughing and chatting with your dad, things eventually had to come to an end.

"Shall we?" Chris asked as he linked arms with you.

"We shall," you responded, heading towards the exit with your dads arms around you.

Before you could leave through those boujee doors, your dad spotted some paparazzi, who were most likely waiting for you guys. He immediately got stressed out and warned you about them since he is well aware of your anxiety revolving around these types of things. 

You both took a deep breath before trying to quickly make your way through the crowds of people. Due to the constant distracting flashes of cameras, you accidentally let go of your dads hand to block your eyes from the brightness. At the loss of contact, both you and your father became incredibly stressed. 

You were able to make it out of the crowd pretty easily by just running to wherever you can quickly find peace. As you started to calm down from the experience, you realized you had absolutely no clue where you were or how you were supposed to get back to your dads car. 

Pulling out your phone and dialing your dads number, you were so relieved to hear him pick up his phone almost immediately. 

“Dad, I'm scared. I don't know where I am, help me please” your anxiety was starting to come back to you. 

“It's ok sweetheart I’ve got your location on my phone and I'm on my way towards you, ok?” He was trying to calm you down but he also seemed very stressed as well. 

“ok please hurry” Chris could hear you doing some breathing techniques you had learned in therapy, which made him very thankful for paying that therapy bill every session.

“You're gonna be okay, just stay on the phone with me please” he said in an attempt to comfort you.

After a few minutes that seemed like hours, he finally pulled up to where you were. Chris sprinted out of his car looking for you, and once he found where you were sitting he ran over and gave you a big hug, accidentally startling you while doing so. 

“It's me, it's me! Calm down, it's just me” he soothed after noticing you jump out of fear before melting into his fatherly embrace. 

“I was so scared Dad! I didn't know what to do so I just ran” you were still very shaken up from the experience but being in your dad’s presence was very helpful towards calming you down. 

“Hey, just look at me. Breathe, it's gonna be okay”

You eventually were able to calm down thanks to the help of your dad, so the two of you made your way back to the safety of his car. 

Although the experience was very scary for you, you couldn't have been more grateful for your dad than you were at this moment. He's truly the best parent you could ask for. 

At this moment, Chris was thinking the exact same thing about you.

[yakichoufd]

hi!! I absolutely ADORE how you draw and characterize scott, it's so refreshing from the usual depiction of him in media *cough cough*, movies, certain comics. I was wondering if you've ever read this fic---To Rebuild a Life?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7283611/chapters/16538692

Its my all time FAVORITE scott summers fic, it's basically a retelling of his origin story based loosely on info from the films and comics (i read it before watching/reading any and really enjoyed it, might be a biiit confusing in some areas but it didn't affect the overal story tbh). It's pretty much a found family, lab rat au. You get to see this KICK ASS scott summers as he quite literally fights to survive, he's incredibly cunning, persistent, and fiercely loyal here and it's just. So good. I can't even properly explain it LMAO. But the relationships, characterization, world building, references, and most importantly the angst here are so good, I 100% recommend that you read it!!

thank you so much! I am really pleased that so many of you enjoy how I draw him! I am having a lot of fun! I find it sad that he was not that well written in some official materials but I think we all love him for specific reasons! I am super happy the fandom give him the love he deserves <3 I am not familiar with that fic! I usually do not read uncompleted fics cause my little gremlin mind can't stop thinking about the potential follow up without being satisfied, but you made me super curious about this story! It sounds like it is my jam, so I'll most definitly read it! :D So thank you so much! I am happy we are all recommending fics to each other! I joined tumblr (many many years ago, before the purge and on a different account) for the fic recommandations (and also fandom analysis and discussion)! It was always so nice! That reminds me, I should leave some comments on all the fics I enjoyed. Writing comments is hard! My english is kind of poor and never expresses the love and emotions I had while reading, so I'm kind of frustrated but I am always happy when i get positive comments on my own work. We shall all let our favourite creators known how much we appreciate their work! <3

[starseungs]

ཻུ۪۪𔘓 ͎ critical hit! — bang chan smau

➳ pairing: bang chan x f!reader

there were just those times where you didn't know what could hit you. literally. luckily for you, it came in the form of your uni crush.

➳ genre: fluff, humor, a bit of angst in future chaps, college au, smau, (kinda) strangers to lovers, 3racha canon

➳ warnings: minor car accident (no one gets hurt), swearing, will add more in chaps if needed. y/n character uses she/her pronouns. this is a work of fiction, and in no way aiming to represent any of the idols' actual personalities and relationships.

started: 22.10.24 • ended: DISCONTINUED

2022 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

— character profiles.

— chapters.

oh please, i'm always careful

are you slash srs or slash j?

get your priorities straight

karma is my middle name

im not that obsessed

this is my villain origin story

more coming soon . . .

➳ note: updates can be inconsistent and slow; i decided to juggle this series with my jam packed semester but we shall live. the taglist is [ CLOSED ].

mastertag: @h0neydewmoon @starzzns @lhskokoro @bookishcalls (will only be tagged here. just tell me if you want to be added to this smau's taglist ><)

[crisalidaseason]

obsessed with your kenuri universe and would love to see some kenny/kuchel fluffy sibling time (why'd have to kill heeeer jk)

You ask and I shall deliver. This took me longer than I wanted (I should have posted it in December but I was very depressed). Also, sorry for having to K my sweet Kuchel, but she is very much alive in this!

Family chaos on Christmas - the prequel

Summary: Kenny is miserably working on the holiday season, Kuchel is very pregnant and Uri is worming his way into Kenny's heart.

Content warning: within my family chaos universe, modern au, a prequel of sorts, some angst, mentions of pregnancy and labor, Kenny is a good brother, Kenny is tired and anxious, mentions of anxiety, slight descriptions of anxiety attacks, fluff, some domestic vibes, sibling bond, pining (Kenny/Uri)

__________________________________________________________

Kenny waited five seconds after she left to immediately switch the door sign from open to closed.

“Happy holidays, mister Ackerman” the old woman waved as she finally left the shop.

“Happy holidays, ma’am” 

“Fucking finally”

The young man wanted nothing more than to end that shift. He thought it should be a crime to work on December 24th.

“Who fucking needs repair tools on Christmas?? You know, if people were less stupid and more organized all shops could close on holidays”

He had complained while getting ready for work that morning. Kuchel - the little shit that she was - just laughed at his annoyance.

“At least the owner let you close earlier, Ken. It could have been worse”

He huffed while recalling the short conversation. It was easy for Kuchel to not relate to his misery, she never worked on holidays even before she went on maternity leave. For him, working six instead of eight hours on Christmas made no difference in the end, since traffic would probably take the rest of his sanity away. 

“Fuck off” he screamed loudly as he hit yet another traffic jam. It took 30 extra minutes for him to finally arrive at the apartment complex. He groaned while parking, Kuchel’s car was almost giving up - that old thing would die on them any day, Kenny was dreading it. He managed to park and almost cried in relief. Finally home!

Well. He may have rid himself of work, but home was another rollercoaster to get through. 

“Kenny!” the woman greeted him from the living room/kitchen couch “took you long enough”

The older ackerman was sitting comfortably on the couch, reading a book, a heavy blanket covering her round middle section and many pillows stacked around her. 

“Have you eaten?” the man asked “I thought about take out, but traffic was impossible to go through”

“I snacked a little, it’s fine” she assured him, but her face said otherwise. 

She finally reached the ninth month - or, according to her, the 39th week - of her pregnancy. Kuchel was huge and feeling as uncomfortable as her appearance suggested. The last few weeks were filled with low mobility and badly assembled snacks. 

“What about some chicken salad?” he suggested “I pre-made some seasoned shredded chicken”

The woman’s eyes beamed at him.

“Kenny, you’re a lovely lovely brother, you know that?”

He groaned.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever” 

Despite his initial stress and tiredness, there was a calming property in cooking a tasty chicken salad. He was far from a good student in school, but the ‘chemistry’ and ‘physics’ of food always fascinated him, he wished life could subside enough for him to spend more time experimenting with cooking. The satisfaction of eating a good meal was a recent comfort he was thankful for everyday. 

“Here” he handed his sister the plate with plenty of the chicken salad “beverage?”

She motioned the half full bottle of guava juice on the kitchen table, silently denying his question. The Ackerman man sat down on the ground, with his own plate on his lap, leaving a groan of relief at the first bite. He turned the television on, looking for something interesting to watch but only finding Christmas movies or news. 

“Go back!” Kuchel’s voice almost startled him.

“What? The stupid christmas movie?”

She nodded fervently while still chewing. Kenny shook his head and went back to the channel playing a movie - what seemed to be one of those holiday rom coms.

“I thought you hated romcoms,” Kenny commented.

“I do”

Kenny had learned early on that pregnancy made Kuchel even weirder. From the moment she found out the unexpected demon spawn in her uterus, she had weird cravings (not only for food, there were a few weeks she could only sleep by watching animal documentaries). He learned to not question after a while, it kept things easy to handle. 

“Do you think family Christmas dinners are always like that?” she pointed her fork at the tv “It seems so inaccurate”

Kenny shrugged. Still focused on his plate. 

“Well, it doesn’t snow here in december so safe to say it might not be so accurate” his sister concluded on her own. 

They kept eating in silence and the movie proved to be just as stupid as it promised, though he heard sniffling behind him. Now, if there is something Kenny learned ever since he and his sister finally left the foster system to live together was that you don’t question her feelings - especially pregnant. He almost considered patting her on the shoulders in comfort but remembered she still had a good aim and her flip flops were right there, ready to be thrown. 

“What a stupid movie” she mumbled.

He stood up, taking Kuchel’s plate and finally building courage to do the dishes despite his exhaustion. He heard his sister turn off the television and certain sounds indicated she was leaving her cocoon of blankets and pillows, grunting during the entire process. 

“You okay there?” he asked while hanging the dishes to dry.

It was safe to say Kenny panicked a bit too often with Kuchel’s every display of discomfort - the nervousness of her due date always on the back of his mind. The young man was not feeling prepared at all for the big day even with his sister’s advice and thorough explanations of the process - although Kuchel herself was very new to this and also terrified despite not admitting.

“Yes Kenny, the boy isn’t coming out until next week. Relax…Uh!” she let out a shriek. 

He hated her so much. Kenny ran to the living room, trying to see any signs of wetness indicating that the antichrist wanted out, instead he found his sister peering down at his phone - which was silently vibrating with a call. 

“It’s your loverboy” she smiled at him like the little shit that she was “pick it up or I will”

“He isn’t-” he sighed, giving up this fruitless conversation they always had and picking up the phone. 

“Hello” Kenny answered.

“Good evening, Kenny, is it bad timing?”

“No, not at all!” He dried his hands on his beat up jeans, Kuchel waving crazily in front of him.

“Great! I just wanted to call because I thought a message felt a bit too distant. I know you said you don’t celebrate Christmas, but I just wanted to wish you and Kuchel a special good night’s rest.”

The noises on the background indicated Uri, his neighbor, was probably at a family gathering at his family home, Kenny could hear loud voices and holiday music playing softly. 

“Thank you Uri, we appreciate it” 

Kuchel was staring at Kenny so intensely he felt a hole on his forehead, her insistent mouthing of “Can I talk to him?” “Let me talk to him!!”, distracting the man. 

“In fact, she is right here dying to talk to you” 

Uri laughed - a pretty sound that was - and asked to talk to Kuchel.

“Hey Uri! I haven’t seen you today but I wish you a wonderful christmas” His sister beamed at the cellphone.

She talked shortly to the other man, thanking Uri for the well wishes. Kenny was grateful his sister did not try to embarrass him this time - he had enough of her hinting to Uri that Kenny had a slight (giant) crush on the Reiss man.

“Your sister is a lovely woman. I’ll bring some food for you two when I head home”

“Nah, It’s okay, Uri. No need”

“No, I insist Kenny. We have plenty of food here anyway and I know you’ve been working a lot lately. At least we keep Kuchel with a sustainable meal to eat when you’re not home tomorrow”

“You convinced me, but don’t come crying to me when she forces you to have dinner with us and show you the same ultrasound pictures again” Kenny said, chuckling.

To that Kuchel raised her middle finger, mouthing a “fuck you, Kenny”

“Nothing more wonderful than spending the evening with Ackermans” Uri chuckled - what a pretty sound “I have to go, Frieda is looking at me like I am committing a crime, but I see the two of you soon” 

They said their goodbyes and the call went off, Kenny’s heart was doing strange jumps on his ribcage - he was down bad for that man. Kuchel was sitting on the couch, smiling like a mad woman and clapping her hands.

“Not a word” he warned her.

“For the love of god, Kenny, ask that man on a date!”

He ignored her while heading for a shower, if he let Kuchel speak about Uri he would probably end up dealing with feeling he was too tired to process. Kenny preferred to like Uri from a distance - just being neighbors that got along well. His sister constantly telling him the Reiss man was into him did not help at all. 

“Not only is he clearly interested, but he is so kind and patient, Ken! Give the poor man a little chance” she would say.

Kenny tried not to think about it, failing miserably though. He had many opportunities to meet Uri on a more romantic level, the man had invited him for coffee so many times and Kenny always refused politely. He was afraid, Uri did not know the mess he was in the head. And the worst part: Uri was really patient and understanding and respectful and observant…Kenny had a problem. 

“I’m gonna sleep” Kenny knocked on his sister’s room “need anything else?”

“No! Everything okay. You should sleep, Ken”

He wished her a good night and flopped into his bed, slumber quickly taking him. 

He never had dreams, only nightmares or an empty sleep. That night though, he dreamed about him and Kuchel sitting on a huge table full of food. His sister had a nice elegant red dress, contrasting with her long dark hair. Kenny himself looked down to see a nice set of pants and button up shirt. The decorations screamed Christmas - there was even snow outside!- but what surprised him was seeing Uri beside him, equally well dressed…with a baby in his arms. The small little human seemed to be pushing one year old, almost pink in color, pouty face, dark hair, looking at Kenny with light colored eyes.

“You want your uncle, little one?” Uri said, bouncing the child slightly.

As if he had no control, Kenny felt his arms reach out to the baby, his voice coming out in equal involuntary action.

“I know, I’m your favorite” his voice sounded…happy. Not that he was against having a nephew, he just struggled to have a connection with someone he had never met. But in that moment, looking at light blue eyes, he wondered if he could measure how dear that boy was. 

“Typical of Levi to prefer the one who calls him demon spawn” Kuchel said.

The dream faded slowly, with the last scenes of a baby on his lap while they celebrated Christmas just like that stupid movie they were watching. He woke up feeling a strange sense of missing something. Of sadness. He stayed in bed for longer than usual, wondering why he dreamed of that. His only family was Kuchel for as long as he remembers, everything different than that seemed terrifying.

The boy seemed so real. What about Uri? Could he ever be anything more than a friendly neighbor?

Deciding that he can’t afford having an existential crisis, the man finally decided to start his routine, but early morning finally came to test Kenny's bowels. As soon as he saw Kuchel enter the kitchen, seemingly uncomfortable and walking weirdly, he panicked once again. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Kenny asked again - to his own demise.

“Kenny!” His sister warned him.

“I’m just worried, you seem to be hurting quite a lot”

Kuchel looked at him unimpressed, not answering. She had woken up that morning complaining of a few contractions. 

“It’s probably false alarm, Kenny, but it still sucks” 

Kenny was in a full pit of anxiety at that point. Everytime she had a false alarm he panicked anyway, a single sneeze and that spawn would pop out of her. He didn't think she would make it to an entire week. 

“I’m gonna try and call your doctor again”

Kenny tried once again the number, without success. 

“We should go to the hospital, Kuch” he tried again to convince her.

“No! They’re just going to send us home again, let’s see if it progresses and then we go”

Kenny was honestly tired, and scared, but he nodded. It took several minutes for Kuchel to finally convince him to go to work for at least the morning shift, but he was not able to concentrate well. He checked her text messages constantly, alongside Uri’s.

Uri Reiss Neighbor: I’m with her, if anything happens I’ll rush her to the hospital

You: Thanks Uri, I promise I’ll be back by 2pm since it’s Xmas day

Uri Reiss Neighbor: No need to thank me, see you soon. I’m making lunch if that’s okay.

That man was a fucking saint. Kenny was down bad. He had to concentrate while trying not to fall in love with that man or dying of worry for his sister. Work was haphazardly done, Kenny practically breaking traffic laws to go home, practically climbing the stairs to his apartment floor, thinking he would have to immediately rush her to a hospital for the antichrist to be born…just to find Uri and Kuchel sitting quietly on the dinner table, tea in front of them and a deck of cards.

“Good afternoon, Kenny” Reiss greeted him.

“Hi, Ken” 

Kenny looked at his sister with confusion. She seemed composed and calm. Uri - as always - was well dressed, smelling like a hundred yards of soft flowers, calmly playing with Kuchel. 

“The contraction stopped as soon as you left” she said, pointing to her huge stomach “maybe he doesn’t like you”

Kenny groaned, sitting on the couch to catch his breath. 

“Demon spawn” he mumbled, smiling discreetly. 

Kuchel turned, burning him with her eyes. 

“He is a perfect little angel”

That was another bickering Kenny did not want to continue so he just surrendered. But he was a demon child! Anything born from an Ackerman was demonic - Kenny was an absolute nightmare as a kid and he was already dreading that baby. 

“Hungry?” Uri asked “There is a plate for you in the microwave”

His noisy stomach answered for him, guiding his already tired self to the kitchen. The food was probably from the family dinner Uri went to last night, good quality meat and tasty sauce. He wondered if he could reproduce that recipe one day and maybe make a special dinner after the baby was born. He ate on the table while watching his sister and Uri play with the cards, attentively listening to Kuchel's gossip of the apartment complex group chat. She was bored to death most days, watching people from the balcony and stalking the chat seemed to be the entertainment of the century.

“It’s okay, Uri, now that Kenny is here he can keep an eye on me” his sister said once Uri hesitated to return to his family’s home. 

“I’ll return tomorrow morning. My mother really insisted that I return to the church’s dinner tonight but if anything happens you can call me” he assured the Ackerman siblings before reluctantly leaving. 

“He is such a nice man” Kuchel quietly said once Kenny had closed the door “I know I bother you with it, but I really think he would be a good match”

Kenny smiled a little, sitting beside his sister on the couch and softly shoving her with his shoulder.

“I know, but I really don’t feel ready right now” 

Love was not something he thought was possible. Not for him, much like it wasn't for his sister. He felt her hand on his forearm, rubbing him softly. 

“I know, take your time” she said in a hushed tone “like I said, he is a very patient man”

Her calm features soon contorted into painful ones. She let a long breath out.

“Another contraction?” he asked.

She nodded, breathing in and out in a slow rhythm.

“It never really stopped, but I did not want to alarm any of you until I was sure it was constant” 

“Kuchel! What the actual fuck-”

“Shhhhh” she said “don’t scold me! I am counting them and I can’t do this if both of you keep hovering over me”

Kenny groaned, visualizing himself shaving her hair bald as revenge for the rollercoaster of worry he felt.

“Do you think it’s for real?” he asked her.

Kuchel nodded, holding his forearm strongly.

“I’m scared” she whispered “I don’t know if I can do this, Ken”

Despite his anxiety, he tried to comfort her by holding her shoulders in a strange side hug - typical of a touch terrified Kenny. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

“I’ll be with you, Kuch”

And he did. When her contractions became too unbearable and close timing, they left for the hospital in the midst of a starting rain. The streets were calm since it was late at night, everyone most likely at the churches celebrating the holiday. 

“Ma’am, my sister is giving birth” he had told the woman at the front desk.

“No father, I’m the one taking care of her” he told the social worker registering the appointment.

“Can you call another doctor then?” he almost yelled when they informed her doctor was MIA.

“Can anyone please check on her for god’s sake?!” he tried to stay calm when nobody would check on his sister when her water broke.

It was a turbulent three hours, time bringing a raging storm that occasionally painted the sky with lightning and thunder. When Kuchel was finally checked on, she was fully ready to push. Kenny was a strong man, but he wanted to die with every scream coming out of his sister’s throat. His hand was still, only because of the iron grip she had on it, otherwise he would be trembling. When the cry of a baby finally broke the room’s chaos, Kenny thought he had lost his hearing. Everything had gone muffled and fuzzy. He did not know, but later the nurses told him that he was almost hyperventilating, still holding Kuchel’s hand despite his eyes losing focus. 

“Look at him, Kenny” Kuchel was crying “he is so small”

The baby laying on her chest was nothing like the grown infant of his dream, in fact, that newborn was multiple shades of red and purple, scrunched face and tiny feet, limbs so thin they could be compared to the girth of Kenny’s fingers. 

“Sir, breathe in and out, you’ll be fine” said a nurse nearby. 

He kept his eyes on the small being, then at his sister. She was sweaty, exhausted and crying profusely. He wanted her cries to be only of happiness, but he knew she was just as terrified of this as he was. They were just two adults with a fucked up story, having to care for a non planned baby. He was barely 25 and had an entire human to watch out for - because he sure would not leave Kuchel to deal with this on her own. 

“Welcome, spawn. I’m your uncle” he managed to choke out. 

Kuchel laughed, more because of the drugs than actually finding the nickname funny. He spent the entire night watching over a sleeping sister and the baby in the bassinet. He admired as the storm raged in the first hours of the morning, the darkness still outside. His cellphone would occasionally ring with notifications.

Uri Reiss neighbor: I got stuck because of the rain, the streets are flooded. I’ll get there, I promise, but it might take a while. Tell me what I can bring to you or Kuchel.

He smiled at the phone, sending Uri his gratitude. Despite the chaos outside, he felt a strange sense of peace. Maybe it was the medication the nurses administered due to his mini anxiety attack, but he liked to think it was a sign that everything would be alright. 

“How are you feeling?” said the slurred voice of Kuchel.

“I should be asking this”

“Well, I'm a bit high” she smiled “and you seem too”

He chuckled, pinching the bridge of his nose. Kuchel looked at the bassinet, warmth in her tired eyes. 

“He is out…”

“On a holiday!” Kenny complemented “spawn made sure to be born at the same day of Jesus”

“Fuck you” she laughed “I think he came to force us to celebrate christmas day in a way or another”

Kenny nodded, not doubting for a moment that whatever ruled this world had a strange sense of humor. 

“He was almost born on the 26th for just a few minutes” he said “he was determined”

The Ackerman siblings kept the comfortable silence, Kuchel not taking her eyes off the sleeping baby nearby. 

“Kenny”

“Hm?”

He looked at her tired eyes, Kenny realizing they were so similar to the baby of his dream.

“I don’t have a name for him” 

“You were never satisfied with the thousand names you picked” he replied.

“Maybe something with a ‘K’? To match us” she said.

“That’s horrendous, Kuchel!” he protested “Me and you having a name with a ‘K’ is already atrocious enough”

“You’re right…” she said “I want something that doesn’t come from parents we barely knew”

Kenny deliberated if he should tell her about the name of his dream. Levi…he remembered something about that name in bible study he was forced into by the orphanage. It meant something specific, meant-

“Connection”

Kuchel eyed him as if he had lost his mind.

“Kenny, if this is your suggestion-”

“No, woman, listen!” he interrupted “I mean that he is connected to us only. Your kid, my nephew, nothing else”

“Well, that’s true” 

“And Levi means connected, joined” He finally said it. 

Kuchel pondered for a moment, analyzing the name by looking at the child’s sleeping shape. 

“A biblical name, right? I remember it from church” Kuchel said.

“It’s just a suggestion-”

“I like it” she interrupted this time “Levi. It sounds firm, strong”

She smiled, as if contemplating calling him that for the rest of his life. Kenny thought she would put up a fight - for being the one to carry for months and not choosing the name. 

“Levi it is” she concluded.

Kenny nodded, happy that she liked it. He did not know if his dream was prophetic or just an amalgamation of anxiety and nine months of constantly thinking about this other being in their lives. 

“Can I ask you something really important?”

He nodded.

“He was born on Christmas” she began “I know we never really liked this day because of all the family bullshit, but now…”

He understood. They were bitter people, but that kid had nothing to do with it. 

“We’re gonna give him the Christmas we never had, right Kenny?” 

[librosamarillos]

passed down like folk songs

chapter 19: in waves

Maegor Targaryen x OC

Also on Ao3

chapter index

Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

I'm back and alive! Sorry for the long hiatus babes, hope you enjoy <3

Grief came to Visenya in waves. Some days, she’d wake up from dreaming about fighting with Aegon, screaming and crying at him for abandoning her just when she finally felt some normalcy and happiness, because he ran to Rhaenys in the afterlife. Those days she’d have to keep herself beyond busy, her anger was like wildfire, unpredictable and explosive, everyone knew not to bother her. She couldn’t be alone those days, for she would then be forced to be alone with her thoughts, and that was a scary place to be. Other days, Visenya would wake up with the phantom feeling of Aegon’s arms around her, his breath on her neck and the warm feeling that everything was alright. Those days were the days when it was hardest to get out of bed. 

Today was one of those days. She dragged herself out of the warm comfort of her bed, and got ready for the day. Sometimes Visenya didn’t feel like she was all there, like she was in her head about Aegon’s death, part of her wishing to wake up in his arms and realise it was just some nightmare. She had work to do today, and she was definitely not in the mood, but she could not trust Aenys with making such big decisions without her council. 

Upon entering her solar, she was relieved to see that Rowan was there, having prepared everything for the meeting, and now, preparing a small breakfast for her to eat. Visenya smiled at the girl, and also the routine they had developed these days. She looked at the plate of food, some bread, cheese, jam, fruit, something light for her to eat. Visenya had lost her appetite quite a bit since Aegon’s death, and Rowan was gently urging her to eat. She appreciated the offer.  

“Good morning, I see you have everything prepared.” Visenya smiled, accepting the plate and sitting down to eat. Rowan smiled as well, looking quite relaxed. The meeting was with her father after all. Duncan was a very wise ally to have, especially in the matters that were plaguing her. Perhaps she couldn’t admit it out loud, but Visenya needed her old friend. Duncan was always there to listen, and now, he completely understood her. 

“All is ready, your grace. My father will arrive shortly.” Rowan’s voice was soft and calm, as she approached Visenya with a pitcher of water, pouring some in her cup. “Shall I get something else for you from the kitchens?” she asked. 

“No, no. This is more than enough, Rowan, thank you.” Visenya smiled, glad for the cooling and refreshing sensation of the water. She studied the young woman in front of her. Rowan seemed to be far more at ease now that Maegor was back. She was never one to doubt Maegor, but of course, as a young woman who had never seen battle, it was only normal for her to worry. It was her childhood friend after all. Well, things between them seemed to be going back to normal. It would be a good thing for everyone involved.

Duncan arrived right on time, if not a bit early, as he always did. It was crazy that it had been two whole decades that she knew the man, and he had never changed. Always punctual, soft spoken and practical. And most importantly, he never lied or sugar coated things for Visenya. An admirable ally indeed. Rowan took her place next to Visenya, preparing all the notes she was asked to, and opening her notepad to write important things down. He must be so proud of her.

Visenya never would admit it, but she really envied the closeness that Rowan had with her father. It was as if the two were perfectly in tune. Aerion Targaryen was never that sweet or patient or interested in her. With time, he did grow to dote on Rhaenys, who acted more like the proper lady he expected her to be. It was a strange dynamic they had, where he didn’t treat her like a beloved daughter, but allowed her to train with the sword and fight, but still didn’t give her the respect he gave to Aegon as his son. She could never approach her father with her troubles or questions, not the way Rowan could with Duncan. Perhaps that was why she seemed to be so fond of Duncan, because he was the devoted father she wished she had, and she admired that.

“Good morning, your grace. I trust all is well?” he asked as he took his seat across from her, like he always did. Visenya set aside her place, wiping her mouth with a napkin, before taking a look at her notes.

“Good morning, Duncan, things are as well as they could be with the rebellion. Let us not waste any time, I have some things I’d like your opinion on.” she said with a small sigh. She had hoped things would be peaceful, but then again, when had her hopes ever come to be? “Harrenhal. I’ve convinced Aenys to send five hundred men to accompany my son, but I’m having some doubts. If this Red Harren managed to take and hold Harrenhal with only a few hundred men, perhaps we should send more.” her voice held a bit of doubt, something she never allowed anyone else to see or hear. 

“You can call for Lord Tully to raise his banners, to send five hundred more men to join Prince Maegor. With Balerion, I highly doubt they’ll be needed at all, but we’re better safe than sorry. It’ll be a show of strength for the crown, to show anyone thinking to rebel that all great houses follow the King’s orders loyally and faithfully.” Duncan spoke. He had clearly given the topic much thought, thinking about all possible opportunities. Visenya gave a small smile.

“Yes, Balerion is a great advantage to have, but you know Maegor better than that. He wishes to fight the rebels himself, to show them that they have more than our dragons to fear.” she almost laughed, as if Maegor was still her little boy playing with the wooden swords she had made for him. It didn’t escape her that Rowan tensed up after hearing this. Of course she’d worry over him, she always did. “I have been in correspondence with Lord Tully, he will provide us with his soldiers, all we need is the King’s order…” she sighed.

“Do you doubt the King will give the order?” Duncan asked, but knew the answer. Duncan shared her worries about Aenys, she didn’t feel the need to hide or hold back her words.

“You know how he can be. His squeamishness, I’ll never understand, hells, I find myself wondering what he even inherited from Aegon. The more he hesitates, the worse these rebels will be. They can sense the weakness from miles away.” she said, her brows furrowing more with each word, before she pinched the bridge of her nose. “But it doesn't matter. If I cannot convince him, Maegor will. He’ll listen to his hand, I hope.”

Duncan nodded.

“Have you given any thought as to who will be granted Harrenhal afterward? House Qoherys has been wiped clean as of last week.” he explained. In truth, Visenya hadn’t given it much thought yet, since technically, it was the job of the King to think over such matters, but she knew better than to trust Aenys with this. He’d just do what appeased the majority of his court and council.

“I haven’t given it much thought, in truth. I’ve been thinking of House Towers, but I’m not sure. Did you have someone in mind? Ah- Which Houses are in that area again?” she turned her head to Rowan.

“There’s lots of smaller Houses, your grace. The most prominent ones are House Towers, Butterwell, Harroway and Darry.” Rowan explained, and Visenya nodded.

“Well then, we’ll see which of these lords proves himself worthy of the honour. We’ll pick the one who’s most useful to us.” Visenya concluded.

The meeting went over a few more technicalities, details and doubts, but the conclusion had been reached. Maegor would march to the Riverlands with five hundred men and meet up with the other five hundred Tully men, along with Balerion. Visenya was certain her son would prevail once more. She had no doubt about that. He would show the world the true blood of the dragon, what it truly means to be a King- unlike her pathetic excuse of a nephew. She’d still have to convince him to send word to lord Tully, hoping that he wouldn’t deny it for some imaginary fear. 

She looked over Rowan’s neat notes, the calendar she had asked her to make for the day. She’d meet up with her nephew before lunch, and convince him this was the best course of action. She could also ask Maegor to join her in this, but it could appear that they were ganging up on him, which couldn’t end well, should Aenys finally decide to grow a spine. 

Visenya turned her attention to Rowan, who was tidying up all the used dishes and cups to send to the kitchens, while also handing her a fresh goblet of water. Dutiful as always. They were now alone again in the room, as Duncan took his leave.

“He was very fond of that pin, you know?” Visenya said, taking a sip of water. Rowan seemed completely caught off guard and if Visenya were any crueller, she would have laughed.

“I- your grace- I only wished to-”

“Breathe, my girl. I’m not condemning you!” she couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Aenys noticed it and thought Ceryse was the one who made it. Maegor told him that I was the one who made it instead.” she laughed at the absurdity of the idea, that she’d ever participate in anything of the faith, but also in the fact that Aenys believed it. Rowan, however, looked incredibly guilty. Perhaps it was the reminder of Ceryse’s name. Visenya smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t dwell on any guilt. She doesn’t care for him, and neither does he care about her.” she explained what she knew was obvious to everyone.

“Still… it was…” Rowan trailed, lightly picking at her hands nervously.

“It was sweet.” Visenya concluded, patting her shoulder comfortingly. 

Things would’ve been a whole lot easier if the two didn’t hold such strong feelings for each other, but Visenya had hopes that with Lord Tybolt’s interest, at the very least Rowan could move on. It would be easier on her heart. If her and Maegor’s plans were to succeed, if he indeed ascended the throne and Aenys gave up the crown, she didn’t know how far Maegor would go to keep her close. He could barely keep it together as a Prince, she didn’t wish to know how far he’d go as KIng. If he knew she had moved on and had a family of her own, he could also move on. All he needed was an heir with Ceryse and he could surround himself with all the whores in King’s Landing for all Visenya cared. An heir was necessary for their plans to work. An heir, a spare and it would be enough for Maegor’s claim to be secured. 

To say that Maegor was gloating would be an understatement. He had managed to convince his brother of his mother’s plans for Harrenhal, and now he stood in front of her, basking in her praise. Visenya was difficult to please and he was fully enjoying every second of his mother’s affection. 

“It wasn’t that hard to get him to write to Lord Tully. Even though he claims that brute force is not the way.” Maegor explained as he took a sip of wine. He’d be leaving in the morning to fly to Lord Tully, who had already been preparing his men weeks ago, from Visenya’s request. He was eager for battle and blood.

“Brute force is the only way to deal with rebels. It’s the only way these fools will learn. You’ll need to know when it’s wise to use diplomacy and when to rain fire on them. A King must know these things.” Visenya stated, as if it were the clearest thing in the world. They were alone in the solar, she didn’t feel the need to hide her truth. Maegor almost gave a faint smirk, enjoying every second of his gloating. 

“A King…” Maegor trailed, as if enjoying the taste of the words in his mouth. King. What he had wanted to be since he was a boy. He had a lot to prove to make himself the obvious choice. He’d be lying if he didn’t smirk when he heard the whispers in court or in the city, saying that he was most fit for the role.

“Yes, Maegor. Everyone sees it, everyone knows. Even Aenys. He himself admitted it when he gave you Blackfyre and when he made you his hand. Every mess, he relies on you to fix because he cannot. You already have a lot of support, Harrenhal could be a turning point. You’ll be King in all but name, Aenys will have no choice but to admit it. By then giving up the crown will be appealing to him, when he fully realises he cannot do this. Now all you need to secure your claim is an heir.” his mother explained.

“I know, I’m trying.” Maegor frowned. She was right, as always, but he highly doubted he was the one at fault for his lack of heir. He had been visiting Ceryse’s room nightly, like a chore they both hated, for the sake of a child, with nothing to show for it. Perhaps it was all Ceryse’s fault. She was older than him, not by too much, but still older. She still had her moonblood, which meant she should’ve gotten pregnant by now. Gods, this was fucking frustrating. He was growing resentful, even though he knew it was unfair and he knew Ceryse and Rowan were right, but he couldn’t let go of this blame he wanted to throw her way. 

“I know you are. All in due time. Now your focus should be Harrenhal. The rest will fall in line soon, I know it.” she said, patting his cheek, like she always did when he was a boy and she’d give him praise. He sighed and nodded.

He left his mother’s solar as the sun was nearing its set. He made his way for a “spontaneous” walk in the gardens, even though it was entirely purposeful, to catch a glimpse of his beloved. These times, she’d either be walking around with her father or with Ceryse and Lana, and sometimes, if he was truly lucky, she’d be alone, strolling the flowers and getting lost in thought. His violet eyes were scanning his surroundings, and he almost smirked as people got out of his way in fear. 

He caught a glimpse of her auburn curls near a bench. He stood almost behind a pillar, just to admire her beauty as she looked on to the city in thought. He wanted to embrace her and reassure her of any worries she might've had, but he knew he couldn’t do such a thing.

His eyes went from soft and loving, to angry and suspicious when he saw that damn Lannister approaching her. Rowan seemed surprised to see him, knowing he were to begin his journey to the Riverlands in the morning. Maegor was going to make sure to give him the most taxing and difficult tasks. Maegor frowned as he heard the two exchange pleasantries, and even more so at how close Tybolt stood to Rowan.

“I’ll be leaving with the rest of the knights in the morning. You know, I’ll be more than eager to return to you, my lady.” Tybolt’s stupid voice was soft and smooth like silk, and Maegor heard her pause. Her innocent green eyes were wide in surprise and Maegor wanted to strangle him right there and then.

“I- Lord Tybolt- I do not know what to say…” she spoke, her voice startled and unsure. He heard her speak like that before, when his aunt Rhaenys was still alive, she had asked Rowan to accompany her in the city. Rowan’s voice was unsure and startled then, because he knew she didn’t want to do it, but was in a position where she couldn’t say no. 

“Then do not say a thing, my lady. You do not have to. I am merely expressing my appreciation for your presence. I can only wish to be in your presence more when I return to you from battle.” Tybolt smiled an easy smile, placing a kiss on Rowan’s hand. It made Maegor’s blood boil. He wanted to rip off his arms for daring to stand so close to her- let alone press a kiss on her hand.

“I’m very flattered, my lord.” Rowan replied in a soft, quiet voice. She seemed flustered at the attention. She then wished him well in the upcoming battle and turned to leave, before she accidentally dropped the notepad she was carrying. Tybolt was quick to help her gather the fallen objects.

“Oh! My lady, let me help you!”

“Please, it’s really nothing, I-” Rowan quickly gathered most of her things, but Tybolt still knelt to help. She seemed panicked, and it made Maegor raise a brow. He was ready to step out of the shadows and scare him off, but Tybolt’s voice stopped him. 

“My, my…what’s this?” Tybolt held up something that Maegor couldn’t quite make out. He squinted a bit, before he felt his heart pound in his chest. It was a pin. A pin just like the one Rowan had made for him before he left for the Vale. “I didn’t know you had your heart set on someone, a daring knight that has beaten me in the race for your affections? Who has defeated me, if I may ask?” Tybolt’s eyes were now staring right into Rowan’s, and she seemed like she was about to faint.

“I-... I made it for you, my lord…I was just unsure if it was proper to give it to you.” Rowan’s voice was shaky, in a way that someone who didn’t know her would assume she was being shy. But Maegor knew her. She was lying. She was always such a bad liar, her eyes always betraying her true emotions, but it seemed like Tybolt didn’t see right through her. No, the bastard was beaming.

“Lady Rowan, how happy you have made me! I shall cherish this forever, and I swear it that I shall return to you from this battle safe and sound, for your kind prayers shall keep me safe.” Tybolt grinned his stupid grin as he pressed another kiss on Rowan’s hand, one that lasted far too long for Maegor’s liking. 

The scene was almost picturesque, the charming knight accepting the gift of protection from the beautiful lady, all in front of this sunset in the palace gardens. It made Maegor want to scream and rage, especially since he knew that the pin was meant for him and him alone. Tybolt at some point finally left the gardens, gloating and grinning, while Rowan stood there frozen. She eventually sighed, her face betraying complete defeat, when she finally began to make her way back to her room. As she walked toward Maegor, their eyes met.

His piercing gaze immediately softened as he looked at her, her eyes wide as she realised that he witnessed the whole interaction. Her eyes were now apologetic, as if she had anything to apologise for. Still, Maegor couldn’t help but feel frustrated with her. He knew it was completely misplaced, but he wanted so badly to argue with her about why she ever even considered to grace that blond fool with her presence, let alone hand him such an intimate and personal gift. One that he knew was meant for him. The love he had for her was turning animalistic and primal, as he wanted to kill that man off for even daring to look at her.

Maegor was still frowning as he gestured with his eyes to his mother’s solar, silently telling her to meet him there. Rowan followed suit, under the guise of her obligations to the dowager Queen. The room was empty, silent and tense. Rowan placed the notepad on its usual spot on the table, while her green eyes looked into his violet ones apologetically.

“Why?” Maegor was the first to break the silence. His voice was heavy, almost angry. “Why did you give it to him? Why did you tell him it was for him?” he asked, trying his hardest to not make it sound like it was an accusation, but failing, as Rowan read him like an open book. She furrowed her brows at this.

“I didn’t mean to- I didn’t know what to say! I couldn’t tell him the truth, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to say the name of- I felt like it would just make things more complicated. I couldn’t think of anything else.” Rowan explained, clearly pained by what just happened.

“So now this fool is walking around, thinking you just promised him your hand?” Maegor frowned even more if that were even possible. Rowan stood silent for a moment, looking down at the floor with shame. He hated this. He only wanted to scoop her in his arms and tell her he’d get rid of him, but he knew it wasn’t something he could do.

“I… I suppose…” she trailed. “I didn’t think he’d take it so eagerly, nor that he’d imply courtship-”

“He plans to court you?” his eyes widened at how calm she seemed to be. “And you’re alright with this?” he almost laughed, feeling the anger he tried to push away return in full force. Rowan seemed puzzled for a moment.

“I don’t know if he plans to- are you angry with me?” she asked, abandoning the notepad she had been fumbling with this whole time.

“I know it’s not your fault, but I cannot help but feel frustrated. If you had never entertained his foolish attempts, he’d be off annoying someone else. But now he’s gloating to everyone willing to listen, I am sure.” Maegor spat out, his hands finding the corner of the table to fumble with.

“Maegor, I never wanted him to find the pin! I felt awkward with how forward he was being, I didn’t mean to drop it, let alone for him to see it! I meant to give it to you! You know this!” she stepped closer to him, but still too far for Maegor’s liking. “Believe me, I am frustrated with myself too for not being more careful, for not coming up with a better lie- but I cannot sit here and pretend I did anything inappropriate.” she protested.

“You didn’t. Technically you didn’t. But you’re okay with that man courting you? You’d entertain the idea of being his wife? Of going off to Casterly Rock forever, away from me?” he argued back, his voice heavy but his eyes pleading.

“I don’t know!” she raised her voice, frustration clear in it. “I don’t know, Maegor! You know what I’ve always wished for, you know what I’ve always yearned for, but you also know that can never come to be. I can’t- I can’t stay here forever. I cannot bear to stand by and watch you have a family- I cannot bear it. I didn’t mean for him to find it, but I cannot deny that he’d make a good match one day. I- everything just happened way too fast, I couldn’t think.” her voice was shaking. 

Maegor was so torn. He wanted to run to her, to hold her and kiss her and comfort her and take her away from this place and everyone that held them apart. But another part of him seethed in anger at hearing her admit that she was considering Tybolt as a worthy match. Just the thought made him want to take blackfyre and leave the Lannister boy in pieces, along with his pathetic house.

“I shall take my leave then. I have to prepare for battle tomorrow, I’d hate to interrupt your new dreams of becoming Lady Lannister.” he said through gritted teeth. 

He heard Rowan protest as he left the solar, but he didn’t return, he couldn’t. He knew his anger was violent and ruthless, he wanted to shield her from it. He already regretted what he said, he knew if he turned back he might say something even worse. Rowan, his sweet girl, she didn’t deserve to be around him when he was like this. He was practically blowing steam through his nose as he stomped through the halls. He made his way to his wife’s room, and turned all this frustration into something that could at least bring him closer to his goals.

He didn’t look for her the next day. He couldn’t bear to look at her, feeling so ashamed at his own anger, he couldn’t face her. He’d crumble when he looked into her eyes, and he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Especially not when he had a battle to focus on. He still wore the previous pin she had made for him under his armour, refusing to let anyone see it this time.

This battle was far too important for him to not be focused. This battle could bring him even closer to the throne and crown. This battle could be life changing. He gripped the reigns of Balerion as he took off, his anger turning into a dangerous and calm focus. It was supposedly a dangerous man they were heading to fight, it would sure be a shame if Tybolt Lannister never returned. He smirked dangerously as he landed Balerion near the entrance of House Tully’s seat, before getting down to meet with the Lord of the house.

taglist:@heartstalked@stupidocupido@discowizard88@slytherisstuff

[karizard-ao3]

Ask and you shall receive!

I remember thinking it would be funny if as the days of the week went by, Armins body starts to have a physical reaction to the stress he’s feeling so this is was what I had:

- Monday; wakes up late and start of his back rash, Tuesday; back rash has spread from his right shoulder to his left. He wakes up and finds he has a giant pimple on his nose. Wednesday; back rash has now spread to his middle back (very itchy!!). Jams his pinky finger in the classroom door which results in him having to wear a cast. Thursday; back rash has now spread lower. Breaks his glasses. Friday; pretty sure the rash is spreading elsewhere now, his pimple is about ready to pop, he has a cast on his pinky and hand, is forced to wear contact lenses and ends up getting gum in his hair. Also loses his shit.

Also, I loved this idea of both Eren and Mikasa listening to “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo on repeat because they both think they’ve been broken up with. So after the disaster that was Monday, he decides to go visit his friends after school:

Mikasa

- knocks on the front door of Mikasa’s house and is met by the very tired stare of a father to a teenaged daughter filled with angst. Her dad tells him to come in, where he subsequently hears the bass of what seems to be the bridge of Drivers License. Mikasa’s mother also looks very tired sitting at the kitchen table, where she says to Armin “she hasn’t stopped playing it since last night”. He makes the very daunting walk up the stairs and down the hall to Mikasa’s bedroom where he waits long enough to hear the song end and start again. He knocks and is met by a very puffy Mikasa and a thousand tissues scattered around her bedroom with miss Rodrigo blasting against the walls. He leaves her house with absolutely no answers and a snot stain on his shoulder.

Eren

- goes to Erens place next where hopefully Aunt Carla will ask Armin to stay for dinner because his mom is making tuna casserole at home and the Ackermans had not uttered a single word about dinner invitations after he failed in getting Mikasa to turn the music off. As he stands at the front door he hears the music playing from Erens bedroom because his window is wide open and his room is directly above him. He doesn’t knock, Carla doesn’t care, she’s wearing noise cancelling headphones. To Armins horror Eren doesn’t have his door closed, no, it’s wide open and there he is, laying upside down on his bed, belting the bridge to Drivers License as if he’s the only boy in the world.

Armin goes home that night with less answers than he started with and rumbling of his tummy as he accepts his fate of tuna casserole. The bridge to Drivers License is stuck in his head.

Feel free to add your own ideas if you have any!! I would love to hear if you have any suggestions because you’re my idol when it comes to idiot EMA teenagers 😂😂

Please forgive me because I'm doing talk to text so I'm sure things are going to be misspelled but I'm too excited about this to wait any longer to reply LOL. I love that they're listening to driver's license because at 15 years old, in the US at least, the most those chuckleheads have are there Learners permits and so if they wanted to drive past each other's houses to be dramatic they would have to bring an adult with them. Please imagine if you will e r e n inviting Zeke over and not telling him that the sole purpose of him being there is for him to sit in the passenger seat while e r e n circles mikasa's block.

Also, I'm dying at arman's maladies. The rash spreading over his poor, frail body, his glasses breaking... This boy can't catch a break! And then the tuna casserole on top of that. Why does it feel so canon for Armin's parents to cook the most American Midwest shit? I just know his mom is a connoisseur of the different varieties of condensed cream soup.

Is Jean going to be opportunistic about the breakup or is he planning to bide his time?

[ashes-writing]

ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ● ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁺ ʳᵘˡᵉˢ

taglist doc ● general masterlist

ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵃˢʰᵉˢ

● she/her born+identifies as ● trainwreck, airheaded and feral, chaos queen - oh look,it me ● i write, but only sometimes and it’s usually whatever makes my cold little heart happy. ● due to my own age + the nature of my blog contents, absolutely no minors. ● i match energy. What you give is exactly what you’ll get back. ● queen bitch in charge of fuckery and shenanigans.

ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ ⁻ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᶜᵉ

ʳᵘˡᵉˢ ⁻ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵏⁿᵒʷ

[ Fandoms + Characters ] 

If they’re not listed below, I don’t write for them. 

All American | Asher Adams

American Horror Story | Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, Dandy Mott,  Michael Langdon, Xavier Plympton, Bobby Richter Jr.

Arrow | Slade Wilson, Oliver Queen

The Breakfast Club | John Bender, Andrew Clark, Brian Johnson

The Boondock Saints | Connor McManus, Murphy McManus, Rocco

Criminal Minds | Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan

The Crow | Eric Draven, Jimmy Quervo

CSI Las Vegas | Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown

CSI Miami | Eric Delko, Ryan Wolfe, Tim Speedle

CSI New York | Danny Messer, Don Flack

Dazed & Confused | Ron Slater, Randall Pink Floyd

Detroit Rock City | Lex, Hawk, Tripp, Jam

The Flash | Cisco Ramon, Barry Allen

Friday Night Lights | Landry Clark, Matt Saracen, Tim Riggins

Ghostbusters | Ray, Peter, Egon, Winston

Gotham | Jerome Valeska, Riddler

Horror Movies | ask upon request, tbh

Harry Potter | Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom + Sirius Black, Severus Snape

Legends of Tomorrow | Ray Palmer

The Lost Boys | Allen Frog, David, Edgar Frog, Michael Emerson, Sam Emerson

Mayans MC | Angel, EZ

MCU | Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier, Bruce Banner / Hulk, Captain America / Steve Rogers, Eddie Brock / Venom, Hawkeye / Clint Barton, Loki, Pietro Maximoff / Quicksilver

NCIS | Timothy McGee, Tony Dinozzo

Outer Banks | JJ Maybank, John B Routledge, Pope Heyward, Rafe Cameron, Topper Thornton

The Outsiders | Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Sodapop Curtis

Punisher | Billy Russo, Frank Castle

Riverdale | FP Jones, Jughead Jones, Reggie Mantle, Sweetpea

Shameless | Lip Gallagher

Sons of Anarchy | Jax Teller, Juice Ortiz, Opie Winston

Supernatural | Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Stranger Things | Argyle, Billy Hargrove, Eddie Munson, Gareth Emerson, Jonathan Byers, Steve Harrington & Tommy Hagan

Teen Wolf | Stiles Stilinski

The Vampire Diaries | Damon Salvatore

The Walking Dead | Daryl Dixon, Negan, Shane Walsh

[ what i do / don’t write ] 

These are my hard and fast nopes. Any requests sent in for these will be deleted immediately. Save yourself the time and don’t ask.

● sexual assault, non-con, rape or attempted rape and pedophilia. ● incest ● beastiality ● domestic violence ● anything involving urine or feces ● anything that glorifies self harm or mental illness or suicide ● anything that glorifies racism or other harmful ideology  ● underage pairings ● popular pairings/ships - pairings/ships in general ● one shots of any kind unless I’ve made a post that states otherwise beforehand. I don’t write one shots and trust me, none of you want me to, lol. ●

These are the things I’m willing to write, feel comfortable writing and enjoy writing. Feel free to send these + know that you’re going to see a lot of them on the blog as you read.

● nsfw alphabet / fluff alphabet ● headcanons, personalized or just in general ● you can send me your headcanons and if I agree, I’ll elaborate on why. Because it’s always fun to hear an idiot ramble, right? ● aesthetics and moodboards, maybe even playlists? I’ve gotten really into making playlists lately, so.. We shall see. ●fluff ●angst ●friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, strangers to enemies to friends to lovers, you name it. ● hurt comfort and pining, mutual or otherwise ● tropes like ‘there was one bed’ or ‘body heat = warmth’ ● requited/unrequited love ● i dabble in darker themes ( horror, fantasy, etc ) so yeah. ●omegaverse, when/if I feel i haven’t botched it entirely ●friendships, family dynamics ● slice of life ●happy endings -or open endings, for the win ● what if scenarios / au type stuff ● 

[ rules + stuff you need to know ]

Absolutely no minors. I’m over 18.. Way over 18. It just doesn’t feel right or comfortable for me to engage with anyone who is a minor for several reasons. So, if you’re underage / your blog is ageless / ageless and content free / content free, you’re most likely going to end up blocked. 

Anyone sending hate in messages or asks / starting fights or being rude to each other in the comments on my posts will be blocked immediately. I’m not here for it, I don’t want any part of it and frankly, I don’t care enough about fandom drama, ship wars or faceless opinion enough to engage further. It’s a waste of time. Just be kind to each other, please? It’s… really not that hard? TLDR; do not fuck up Ashes’ zen/escape space.

Read all warnings. Tags to look for are ← trigger warning; (trigger) or ← warning; (trigger) / any variant of the bolded including ← tw;trigger or ← cw;trigger or if it's just smut, <- warning. adult content. There will also be a warning area on each post, so it’s worth it to check that out before reading. If you ignore the tags / warnings, whatever you end up seeing as a result is your own fault and is now strictly a you problem. If you’re looking to avoid my adult content altogether, the tags you need to look for are ← minors dni; adult intended content or any variation of that including ☠ this symbol or this one ♥ on my masterlist, in the warnings area/tags.

Any requests containing my own personal nopes listed above will be deleted upon receipt. I can’t stress enough how unwilling I am to compromise my personal boundaries.Please respect this, okay? Just don’t send it if I’ve already clearly stated I won’t write it. Requests are done on my own time, in whatever order I feel most motivated to do them in and all requests will not make the cut. If this is a problem for you, you’re being warned in advance. It’s probably not a good idea to request it from me. 

Any character I write for is 18+, regardless of canon. I do not write for minors. My writing isn’t tailored to them so it’s not about them. So, if you’re looking for a writer who writes those younger fandom characters, look elsewhere. End of story. If this bothers you at all, don’t read, ig.

Reader inserts are gender neutral / gn, female and all must be human.Pairings are typically female/male or gn/male and/or gn/female. I’m a person who was born as and identifies as a female and I happen to be straight, so out of respect for everyone, I’m opting to stay in my little lane. 

Occasionally, I have a reader insert that turns out to be well… a little more heavily personified. If this is a problem for you, the tags you need to be on alert for are any variant of ← warning; heavily personified reader ( traits ). If you’re looking to avoid that on my masterlists when I finally get around to remaking them, you’re going to want to avoid anything with ☻ beside the title/description. I’ll probably also put ☻ in the tags too, just to be sure nobody reads anything they don’t want to. 

I write original character pieces. And self inserts. And I enjoy writing them. I stopped posting them to here but.. I’ve recently come to the decision that I’m going to post them again and IDC if they’re ‘unpopular’ or ‘cringe’. If you’re the kind of person who can’t stand reading something with an original character / self insert present, you’ll need to look for ← warning; original character content or any variant of that and this symbol ❃. I’ll put the symbol in my warnings and in the tags just so nobody is forced to read my self-indulgent bullshit, no worries. 

Last but not least.. If the ask box is off or there’s a HIATUS / SEMI HIATUS notice in my bio area on the blog or pinned as a post, requests are closed. Currently, I am.. Still on hiatus. But, I’m *fingers crossed* hoping to return soon.

[pianocat939]

I’m sorry for requesting so close right after the last one but I had an idea and you can do this later if you want to

Captain ice cookie x dragon reader

the reader is specifically a aquatic Dragon Who made their home underwater in the freezing seas later on captain ice and her crew accidentally disturb the dragon so they attack her crew only to get captured

-midnight Anon!

Since most requests are Yandere, I’m going to assume this one is the same as well.

I’m gonna rewrite the Titantic 🤡

(Just in case people come attacking, this is for entertainment purposes only. The being blind part isn't supposed to ridicule or degrade blind people. Literally my own mother is blind.)

Tw: Blood, MC becomes half blind, Angst, isn't necessarily implying death but please be cautious

Will to Live

• On the tips of Earthbread is the sea of coldness and ice. So cold the water froze on some occasions.

• Cookies rarely roam this biome; the harsh environments making it arduous to eat and sleep comfortably.

• Yet despite the complications, one cookie and her crew withstands it all.

• Captain Ice Cookie.

• It was like any other day in the sea: penguins roaming the ice, seals soaking up what sunlight there was in the cold climate.

• And of course, Captain Ice Cookie was sailing amongst the water. She stands at her usual spot, on the deck near the figure head.

• “The sea will never tire me, and I shall die with it as my last sight.”

• She slightly smiles, enjoying the harsh air invading her dough body.

• She then spots an iceberg, noticing there isn't enough space for the ship to evade it.

• "Anchor the ship! We need to crack the ice before moving on any further!"

• The crew anchors the ship then grab a few pickaxes and cannons to break the ice.

• A group loads the cannon while some others go and start to break the ice surrounding the iceberg.

• "Whenever you're done get back on the ship! We're done loading the cannon!"

• After a few minutes, the ones splitting the ice below climb onto the ship, readying themselves for a big blast.

• "Align it a little more lower, that'll give it a bigger range of accuracy. A little more...Now, Fire!"

• The cannon fires, destroying the iceberg. The bits and pieces of ice fall in the water, causing small splashes.

• Until an angered roar shakes the ship.

• "Who has the audacity to disturb my rest?!"

• A dragon's neck rises up from the water, pieces of ice clinging to its scales. Its eyes glare at the ship before them, bloodlust seeping out.

• Captain Ice Cookie pays it no mind and orders the anchor to be lifted. "Dragon, you simply are nothing to me. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to move past you."

• The crew cautiously hold weapons, aiming it at the dragon.

• "Don't dare to ignore me!"

• The dragon lunges onto the ship, it's body weight almost toppling it over. In response, the cookies attack the dragon; arrows, cannonballs, and swords pierce the dragon's hard scales.

• "You will pay for your actions!"

• The dragon claws at the construction, stripping off the outer material. Their movements becoming more frantic.

• As the two fight, Captain Ice Cookie escapes to a storage area, where the nets and supplies are stored.

• She grabs the largest net and brings it out on the battle area.

• "Prepare to aim a cannon at its head!"

• The dragon flies above and takes place at the deck of the ship. Their body weight sinks the ship halfway as the cookies start to panic.

• "Fire!"

• Right then and there a cannonball fires at the dragon's eyeball. Which makes the dragon scream in agony.

• The dragon turns into their cookie form from the pain. Captain Ice Cookie makes quick work of capturing them in a net.

• "Get me some chains! We don't know how powerful this dragon is!"

• The dragon holds their eye in anguish, feeling strawberry jam bleeding out from the wound.

• "My eye! What have you done?! Now I cannot see in my left eye!"

• Captain Ice Cookie's expression softens, but turns stern once more.

• "You brought this upon yourself. We may have disturbed you, but we are not the ones who attacked first."

• The dragon doesn't answer, instead curling their tail around their body.

• "How am I to survive in those waters while being half blind?"

• "You aren't. You are a threat to the ones who inhabit here and as a navy commander I cannot let that pass."

• The dragon is chained up and sent to Captain Ice Cookie's private chambers. Their healthy eye darkens, leaving them in sorrow.

• Their past will to live was now gone.

———————————————————

One thing.

Wow.

- Celina

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Congratulations my talented, talented friend! So proud of you. You've earned this with every beautiful, well placed word.

Let's combine some of your ask games, shall we?!

Who would you rather explore the emotional depths/turmoil of "Last Kiss, by Pearl Jam" with, A or B? Tell me why, and how would you structure your retelling?

Love you, pooks 😘😘

Oh my dear friend, my twin brain and partner in angst. Did your teenage heart thrill with angsty delight whenever this came on the radio like mine did? OF COURSE you knew to pick this song 😉💙

For better or worse, the whole scenario seems custom made for a particular brother, and that is Anthony. Maybe because grief is already writ into his character, or maybe because he quite nearly did lose the love of his life to vehicular tragedy, albeit in the regency era.

And that’s actually where my mind is taking me fic-wise. A terrible twist on the book ending of TVWLM. Much like I explored the possibility of Anthony’s death in the duel, what if we explored Kate’s death in the carriage accident? Kanthony are married but Mr. Love Shall Have No Place In My Marriage has only just sacked up enough to admit he loves his wife. He dashes off to tell her, only to watch Edwina’s stupid suitor lose control of their carriage and everyone makes it out safely except Kate. Anthony crawls to her in the rubble, whispering at last that he loves her. With a small smile on her face and her dying breath, she kisses him. Then she’s gone. And Anthony’s worst fears are realized. He allowed himself to love and it just ended in tragic loss. Now nothing is going to make him love ever again.

He commits himself to stoic widowhood. He sarcastically reasons to himself that he does not seem destined to experience any lasting happiness in this life, so perhaps it is all being stored for him in the next life. That’s where he’ll get to see his father and wife after all. So he throws himself into his duties, being the best Viscount, son and brother he can be so that he might earn his way into heaven. But he’s always distant behind the eyes. He’s kind and responsible and gentlemanly. He genuinely loves his family. But he’s never stirred by passion or love again, despite how everyone tries to get him to move on over the decades. He’s as stubborn as a mule and won’t do it. He trains up Charles (Ben’s son) to be his successor Viscount, and when he finally passes away after an exceptionally long life, there’s a smile on his face ❤️‍🩹

I mean yes, I also imagined Ben x Reader where she is just bleeding out in his arms and god I love the angst of it all, but for a fully formed narrative, this is what came to mind.

This is the perfect ask that betrays you understand me far, far too well 🫶😘 Thank you!

[queen-rainy-love]

Clotted starts to act a bit strange ever since the mirror magic incident. He starts to space out, forget things, and is mostly quiet. Pomegranate and Licorice are looking through his memories and feel like using it as an advantage. Suddenly, they command Clotted to attack Red Velvet. He does, RV noticed that his eyes are duller and has slit pupils. Pome stops and smirks, coming up w/ a plan. Clotted soon stops and is confused and feels sorry, while RV is suspicious about this. Call me Angst Anon

Well Angst Anon, you are excellent at adding the angst to the angst mountain I have formed so far. :)

So I shall fulfill your request.

*The scene is set in the Vanilla District of the Cookie Kingdom. It had been a week after the Ancient Ruin mission. Clotted Cream was sitting in the Pure Lily Sibling's home while Red Velvet kept an eye on him.*

Cream Puff: Is Clotted Cream okay? He's been sitting on the couch for a good hour.

Red Velvet: A week ago, he, Madeleine, and a few other Cookies were on a mission to the Ancient Ruins. They had a run-in with...other mom's minions. Ever since he came home, he's been spacing out, forgetting things, and has been way too quiet. We've been keeping an eye on him but he doesn't seem to be getting better.

Cream Puff: Oh no! Should we get father to heal him? Or should we get a healer?

Red Velvet: Father is still back in the Vanilla Kingdom and healers have tried already.

Cream Puff: Hmm...how about I check some spells? Maybe I can use magic to help him! *runs upstairs to find her books*

Red Velvet: Be careful! Don't trip! *A thud is followed be that.*

Cream Puff: *from upstairs* I'm okay!

*Red Velvet sighs and walked over to Clotted Cream, who is staring at the coffee table. He placed a hand on the Consul's shoulder.*

Red Velvet: Clotted Cream...please talk to us. What happened that day? *Clotted Cream kept staring at the table* Please... Don't push us away again. We care for you and we want to help you. But we can't do that if you won't tell us what happened that day. Please.

*As Red Velvet is saying this, Pomegranate and Licorice are looking through the mirror as Clotted Cream's memories play.*

Pomegranate: I see the Consul of the Crème Republic has so many bad memories.

Licorice: It would be perfect blackmail for the councilman. And if we find the other cookie-

*As he's about to finish that sentence, a voice came out of the mirror. It was Red Velvet's. Pomegranate quickly changed the images on her mirror to see Red Velvet trying to comfort Clotted Cream.*

Licorice: Wait...is that Red Velvet!?

Pomegranate: So there is Master's General. Would be ashame if he lost that other arm.

Licorice: Pomegranate wait! Dark Enchantress Cookie wants to have all five intact!

Pomegranate: I'm only advancing the punishment she will give to that traitor! *Brings her mirror close to her* Consul, incapacitate Red Velvet and bring him to us. Unless you wish to continue with these memories.

*As soon as she said that, Clotted Cream's eyes became duller and slit pupils were formed vertically. He jolted a bit as if he was shocked. Red Velvet was just about to ask what was wrong when Clotted Cream lunged at him, his hands close to his throat. Red Velvet was just barely able to escape and created as much distance as he could.*

Red Velvet: Clotted Cream!! What the hell!? Why did you do that!?

*Clotted Cream didn't answer. Instead, he stood up and face Red Velvet. Their eyes meeting each other.)

Red Velvet: (His eyes... something's wrong...)

*After three seconds of silence, Clotted Cream lunged again, this time with his cape ribbons slashing at Red Velvet. He did his best to avoid but eventually he was pinned to the wall by Clotted Cream's ribbon blades.*

Red Velvet: (Crap! I can't reach my blade and if I move, strawberry jam will be everywhere. What do I do!?)

*Red Velvet tried to pull the ribbons off him but they stayed put, digger closer to his dough.*

Clotted Cream: *With Pomegranate's voice overlapping his* Oh dear general. Master will be proud to have her child back.

*Red Velvet could feel his dough grow cold. He recognized that voice and was ready to raise hell. However, Clotted Cream wrapped his hands around Red Velvet's throat. He started gasping and tried to pull his family member's hands off him.*

Clotted Cream: *Still with overlap voice* We do not need you causing a mess on our way home.

*Red Velvet's vision starts to black out. He made an attempt to escape but Clotted Cream's grip held on. Just when he was about to pass out, he could hear footsteps.*

Cream Puff: Jellius Extremus!

*A flash of light and jellybeans missed Clotted Cream but it was enough to distract him. His grip loosens enough for Red Velvet to breathe again. Quickly thinking, Red Velvet landed a punch on the Consul's face. Clotted Cream stumbles back a bit, enough to loosen the cape ribbons. Red Velvet slips through and runs over to Cream Puff, keeping her behind him.*

Cream Puff: Red Velvet, w-what's going on? Why is Clotted Cream attacking you?!

Red Velvet: I'll explain it later. Just stay ready.

*Clotted Cream regains his posture, his eyes slowly getting brighter.*

Clotted Cream: *still overlap* I do not believe I have enough energy to keep him under my control. But do not get hopeful. You've only delayed the inevitable.

*Clotted Cream's eyes become bright again and the slit pupils disappear. He started swaying. Once he figured that it was safe, Red Velvet nodded to Cream Puff and both ran over to Clotted Cream. They helped him sit down on the couch.*

Clotted Cream: W...What happened? And why does my face hurt?

Cream Puff: You attacked Red Velvet.

Clotted Cream: What?! I'm so sorry Red Velvet! I...I don't know what came over me! I just felt so...so...

Red Velvet: Don't worry about it. Let's just get you to see a magic user. I have a bad feeling about this.

[kpdeek]

Episode 13 Thoughts & Reactions

Omfggggg... with every episode I have so much on my mind, but reading all the wonderful metas others post helps me deal with it all. I did a post for a previous KP episode (I think it was 6?), but EP13 was jam packed with SO MUCH that I need to get things into words again.

First of all, Vegas & Pete. They broke my heart, together & individually. Vegas constantly being reminded of his lack of worth, finally standing up to his father...only to be put in his place again. And did yall see how happy he was preparing that food, how detailed he was with plating it? All for Pete, who he's found some semblance of happiness with despite Pete being there against his will. I absolutely LOVED the moment between VP when Pete's weakness broke through. All this time he's been telling Vegas how wrong everyone is about pitting him against his cousin, that he shouldn't hurt himself, that his father is an idiot. But there's a part of Pete that feels useless & pathetic too. Pete's struggle between what he knows is wrong & what he wants is too real, too raw, & too emotional. I have seen that this scene was quite triggering for some people, so I won't say too much about it. But you know V & P are way too into each other at this point to go thru with killing the other.

Still, there's so much messed up about their attraction to the other, too much trauma bonding, that Pete can't reconcile it despite Vegas finding solace in it. You guys, this scene was the most emotional scene for me from the entire series. I think either right along with (or maybe even topping) the end of EP6 😱 I can't wait for more astute viewers to analyze the shit out of it.

Now KimChay (I shall leave my favorite couple for the end): obviously more time has passed between Kim & Chay than we saw on camera, because where did all those Polaroids come from? I read someone's post, I can't remember whether on Twitter or Reddit, that said Chay left these pictures in random places for Kim to stumble upon (when they were together of course). I think it's a cute thought, I think I'll believe it. Because it's all the more heartbreaking for Kim to keep finding them & being reminded of what a good thing he could have had, and what a bad thing he did. Good job to Chay for not letting this man walk all over him. He BLOCKED him. Like...I know I didn't have that much control over my emotions when I was going thru angst shit like this. We'd be mad @ each other, & I'd still be expecting a text like "please still be thinking of me". I know I'm not the only one. The only thing is I wish it wasn't at the expense of Chays education. (I'm a teacher, I value education HIGHLY). a few questions I have: what was Kim doing at the main house anyway? What could Korn want from him? What's with Kim's investigation, & how is he going to use what he knows? Because so far it's all been for naught. His investigation revealed some things to the viewers, but didn't move anyone else's plot along at all. I really hope we see him in the final battle, as I like to call it. It's going to be a Civil War, & all the Theerapanyakul Brothers better step up.

Random, but I think worth pointing out. Kim's shirt says "human". Maybe it's the theme of this episode, considering what Pete says to Vegas before he runs away, the way Kim is dealing with losing Chay, & Porsche not being able to forgive & forget what happened in the past.

Now, KinnPorsche: it was heartbreaking to see Kinn doing what he can to make Porsche happy, all the while knowing Porsche is keeping something from him. And Kinn recognized that Porsche wasn't telling him the truth, did yall see how he looked at him when Porsche gave throw away answers?

Ughhh, my heart. The graveside scene was beautiful, Mile appeared in Kinn here when he was staring at Porsche nonstop, I loved it. And then the pool scene. I gotta say, I didn't expect the scene to be surrounded by such heartbreaking moments, but alas it's what we got. Mile & Apo deserve all the accolades. I mean...it was so tender & beautiful, and sexy. & we got them finally saying "I love you" directly to each other. Despite everything that took place after, and everything to take place, can Kinn even doubt Porsche's love for him, and vice versa? It's very interesting to see how Kinn will react to Porsche leaving with all he knows now. Circumstances are definitely different, hell, KINN is different now. Even if Porsche is betraying the family, will Kinn take that as a personal betrayal as well? We know they'll make up in the next episode, but until that scene comes, I'm really looking forward to seeing how Kinn handles it all.

Everything else: I like the way the show is playing with Porsche's parents' death story. It's so well done, well put together, that if you haven't been reading others' novel spoilers it's surely to shock you. I understand Porsche's handling of the situation; sometimes you don't want to involve your loved ones in the doubts you have, especially when they're so intertwined with those doubts, yet you know they're not really a part of it. Vegas coming into play here is interesting. I always assumed that he was the one storming the main family house at the end, that the main family was shooting AGAINST him, but with everything that's come to light, I'm thinking it's possible that he's joining them instead. Against who?

His father.

Yes, I think his father shot Porsche's mom & dad. In Porsche's memory, only Korn & Gun were there, & I KNOW Korn didn't kill them. So.... & Vegas has a lot of anger, resentment, & bitterness harbored against his dad that I could see him blaming Gun for losing Pete & everything else he's loved. We've already seen Vegas push back against his dad in this episode, so what's not to say he won't go full throttle in the next? Besides, he loves Pete, he's helping Porsche, and Pete has made him realize that maybe...he doesn't have to live up to Kinn.

I appreciate how Porsche knows Vegas is behind what happened to Pete. Here's where that phrase we all love throwing around comes into play: morally Grey. Despite knowing that Vegas harmed Pete so badly based on what Porsche was able to see, he still requests his help, and even makes sure to set things up for him to see Pete. I was...appalled at this action, but had to remind myself that these characters are looking out for NO.1 only. Themselves. & this scene between Vegas & Pete, the way Pete slid down the beam & Vegas went with him...guys, I'm telling you. Everything about them got me emotional this episode.

About the ending, i find it interesting that P's uncle is at the temple. It just goes to highlight how fake he is, because we know that guy doesn't have a worshipping bone in his body. I reveled in Porsche taking the money back, but was upset that the uncle died right in front of him. That's 3 family members Porsche has witnessed getting murdered. & let me tell you, even when you despise a family member, you still feel a certain sadness when something like this befalls them. But Uncle was true to his character until the end.

Some ppl were questioning why would Kinn shoot him when Porsche is right there, he could've hit him. Ummmm...I don't think anyone from the main family shot him. Not Pete, not Kinn. The two were too far away, basically rounding a corner. It appeared to me that they started running when they heard the gun shots, not that they were the source of them. And the way it was shot confirms that for me: rather than the camera panning to show Kinn or Pete with their guns outstretched as if they shot, it shows Porsche falling & getting a bit of his memory back. Indicating that he didn't actually see who shot his uncle, therefore neither did we. And there's something symbolic about Vegas & Porsche riding away together while Kinn & Pete are left behind. I could probably pull something from it, but I'm on summer vacation & my brain isn't required to squeeze meaning out of everything for the next 1.5 months, so I'll leave that to better equipped minds.

And finally, the ending scene. Ahh, Porsche pointing a gun at Korn's head. How I've waited this entire show to see this happening. & of course, Korn drops the bombshell. "She was my sister". Iwnsishsnaowveiapqapaodhei.

For the record, I don't think she was his biological sister, no Kinn & Porsche aren't cousins, no it doesn't still count just because their parents maybe called each other "bro" & "sis" once upon a time. I loved that they kept this in the show from the books. It ups the drama. Makes everything that happened--& everything that's going to happen--hit harder, mean more. Sure, they could've tried to find another way to explain how Korn & Porsche'a parents knew each other, but it's already been written this way. Why change something that works (we know they changed things that DIDNT work, like with Vegas & Pete). Also, the way Korn phrased it, leaving out the 'adopted' part? I laughed. He knows it's going to freak Porsche out for obvious reasons, but the episode ended on a cliffhanger & what better way to gut punch the viewers & Porsche than to phrase it like this. Anyway, he'll definitely clarify in the next episode.

EP13 did not disappoint. Nothing that happened, or at least the way it happened, was expected, & for a show to be able to do that consistently--well, I'll never be able to praise the writing enough. It's wonderfully done. The best of the best (tho, I would be remiss if I said it was perfect. There are some issues, but they're relatively minor). With that, I'd love to read everyone else's thoughts & predictions 😆

[squipy-shippy]

Club Penguin hcs?

Saw post about your self ship with Cadence and love to hear some hcs!

Ofc any Club Penguin hcs are appreciated tho :3

:D oh boy an excuse to talk about my club penguin hc's party's editions!!!

Alright so as we know every month club penguin held this big old themed event!!! Some where one off some became tradition I imagine these were a big deal on the island like when the end of the month came closer you knew that's when to get excited!! So let's go over a few shall we

Disclaimer: these mostly will be about the party's from 2010-2014ish because that's when I was playing the most

Operation blackout:

Angst cw

Alright so we all know this event but In my little fantasy world it wasn't all sunshine well litterly. It was dark and the economy was in shambles a lot of panic attacks and fear I imagine myself wondering if this would be our new life a new way of living especially when penguins were risking their freedom for a chance of living again. Cadence being while not as important to Herbert as the EPF was still something Herbert wanted his paws on so Cadence and I had to basically stay as hidden as possible during these times because the more Mascots Herbert got his hands on the more power he'd get. One hc I have for this time is Cadence holding my flippers and looking me in the eyes and going "if I get frozen please don't cry I'll be okay I'll be here for you even if I'm gone" ...I should honestly write a short one shot about this moment ngl

Holiday party: ah yes the holiday party idk which one pacifically I wanna talk about because all of them are really similar ngl but all Having there differences I helped cadence with her holiday hit cool in the cold while struggling to skate as good as her I know we had a time where the skate rink was just to ourselves and after the caous of operation blackout it was nice to finnally feel safe with her by my side. If we are talking about the 2012 holiday party i know we would have small races with the rc cars! Oh oh also during this time cadence and I would always get gifts for each other one gift I'd probably get her is a stuffed purple puffle that plays music she likes!

Music jam: July was Cadence's busiest month as it was her time to really shine that being the music jam I'd follow along with her when I could mostly as backup but it was a lot of moving around a lot of everything tbh she allways made sure I wasn't that overwhelmed and let me go on my own of Course when I wanted to. Usually to go explore and such. I know she'd teach me how to do the dance moves and by the end it'd turn into a whole mess of laughter

[utilitycaster]

001: TAZ (Specifically interested TAZ Balance takes but if you wanna mix in Amnesty or the mini arcs between the two go for it!)

002: Percy/Vex (I'm sure you've talked about about them a ton, but as a bit of a new follower I'd love to hear your opinions) 003: Fig Faeth (or if you haven't seen Fantasy High, your pick of Dimension 20 characters)

below a cut simply bc this shall be long as fuck

TAZ Balance

Favorite character: Lucretia

Least Favorite character: none really;

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I feel there were not really five ships in this but like, naturally, Lup/Barry and Taako/Kravitz were both a delight

Character I find most attractive: I mean, probably Magnus.

Character I would be best friends with: I want to hang out with Carey and Killian

An unpopular opinion: I think TAZ Balance is very good and I love the graphic novels and all that but I do still think that Amnesty was stronger and deserves more accolades.

Most Badass Character: Lup, this is not a question

Most Epic Villain: I guess John? The main antagonist is like,

Favourite Friendship: the Taco Twins

Character I most identify with: Lucretia, for better or for worse. I do not think I am a well-intentioned extremist irl but I think in a D&D story I could absolutely fall into that.

Character I wish I could be: Davenport but after his memory is restored and he's just a sea captain

Percy/Vex

When I started shipping them: hard to say in that I went into C1 knowing how the general ships shook out. I do remember loving their interaction when Percy first tells VM about the Briarwoods and Vex immediately is like "oh this is 100% our problem now too",

What makes me happy about them: everything. My ideal for fictional romances is truly "we are flawed in the same way, but through each other we can see how we are worthy of love despite that" so like, this is my fucking jam.

What makes me sad about them: not much, honestly! lifespan angst was made up by mediocre fanfic writers to sell more mediocre fanfic.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: nothing specific to them; in general I am a very "he would not fucking say that" person when it comes to fanfic so getting the voices right is crucial, but that's always true for any ship.

Things I look for in fanfic: see above; get the voices right.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I mean, they are perfect for each other and no other ships for either of them compare, but I would not be mad at Percy/Tary or Vex/Zahra.

My happily ever after for them: they've got it! Percy just wants to do weird science in a workshop while a competent partner does all the political work; Vex wants the security that power grants her after a childhood and young adulthood of profound instability and emotional abuse, and both want someone who loves even their more vengeful and complicated side, and that's what they're doing!

Fig Faeth

How I feel about this character: She is great. Love how Emily leaned into Angry Teen in a way that felt real and understandable.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Ayda

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I mean, all the bad kids, but Riz and Kristen are some of my favorites. Also her relationship with Gilear is wonderful.

My unpopular opinion about this character: None really?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Nothing specific other than "please give us a third season one day, please d20 cast, please"

Favorite friendship for this character: Probably Riz; Emily and Murph as players are hilarious in that they NEVER explore romantic chemistry despite being irl married, but their characters almost always end up really good friends.