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torukmaktoskxawng · 5 months

Text

tsamsiyu ta'em - returning to your roots

Masterlist - part fifteen

Summary: Spider's decision leads to a brother and a sister's worst argument yet. Some things come to a head.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 20k+ (I am so sorry 🙏)

Overall warnings: mentions of torture, trauma/ptsd, vomit, slight body horror, canon-compliant, mature language, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, rushed, time skips, fluff, angst, major character death, child endangerment, etc.

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31 @jamie-poopoo @brittney69

A/N: Here it is... the ultimate Spider appreciation chapter. I couldn't afford to split this chapter into two parts like I did last time... so if you think some things aren't rendering on Tumblr, please please please click the link to the ao3 version. Enjoy!

Kayla would be the first to admit that she wasn't good at making her kelku feel like a home. Still a soldier at heart, she retained the mindset to keep her quarters clean, organized, and empty of any clutter. The only thing she owned was the weapons with the safety on, cleaned, and tucked away from sight, along with the little necessities she first packed for her trip to the reef, such as the hammocks that are always packed away every morning after a night of rest. As for Spider, all he had was the breathing mask on his face, the loincloth he wore, and the few packages of human rations Kayla and Jake had found for him in a drifting harpoon boat after their battle with the Sky People.

So, needless to say, the marui pod Kayla was so graciously given by the clan leaders of the Metkayina looked more like what the Sky People would call a bachelor pad back home. At least, that's what first came to mind when Kayla took one look at her new home and decided something needed to change. She had a new place of residence and she even had a teenager living under her roof, a teenager who barely had anything growing up that he could proudly call his. Kayla decided that she needed to make this place look and feel more like a safe space Spider could come to when he needed to get away from the world, which is how Spider found her hours later.

"What's that supposed to be?"

Kayla looked up to spot the teenager in the entryway, staring oddly behind his mask at the object she was trying to put on the far opposite wall of the pod. She looked between him and the large branch which she had spent dedicated time to cutting and molding into a flat surface, before her ears lowered in embarrassment, "Uh... a bookshelf?"

Setting the long wooden board down on the ground for Spider to get a better look, Kayla huffed in exertion and decided she would have to find an easier way to hang up the makeshift piece of furniture she had created.

Spider's expression only grew more confused as he looked at the warped plank of wood before stating the obvious, "You don't own any books."

"Yeah..." Defeat was already evident in her voice, already aware she had spent hours of wasted time on this project but had stubbornly hoped it would pull through. She stared longingly at the wood piece, ears still drooping with shame, "But I was hoping that putting other stuff on it would liven the place up. I guess it's not as homey looking without any books."

"Wait, what?" He cranes his neck up to look at her, puzzled as he crosses his arms over his chest, the knife cut barely even a scar now, "What are you trying to make it look like?"

"Nothing," she mumbled, now staring down at the makeshift shelf as if it had offended her. She was mentally kicking at it and herself for not succeeding in one stupid little piece of home decor. Realizing that Spider was still oddly watching whatever was happening to her face as she had these thoughts, she decided to straighten her back and head toward the exit, motioning the kid to follow her.

"You know what? You and I are always out of the house anyway. It doesn't need to be fancy. Let's go. I'm thinking of taking you kids out exploring."

Spider takes a moment to watch her leave before glancing back at the 'shelf.' Squinting his eyes, he shrugs and turns to follow her outside, "Cool, sounds like fun."

~~~~~~~~~

Kayla brought Spider to Jake first and asked about taking the kids out into the jungle, expressing how she wanted to show them the waterfall she had previously mentioned to her brother. Before he could reply, Jake was interrupted by Tsireya, who just so happened to be stopping by to see Lo'ak and Kiri. The reef girl expressed her excitement and claimed she knew the spot Kayla had mentioned and how she would love to go with. Of course, Kayla wasn't about to say no to sweet Tsireya, and that made Jake cave in and agree to let his children go with them.

He watched the group leave with a small smile before getting back to work on strengthening a newly woven sheath for his hunting knife. He wasn't left alone for long as Neytiri had come home from a morning hunting trip she flew around the island.

She had been silent at first, before looking around and asked, "Ma Jake. Where are the children?"

"They're exploring out in the jungle with Kayla," immediately, he felt the tension in the air, peering up to spot his mate looking fearful, her eyes glossed over in a way that made his gut hurt with guilt. He realized he should've waited until she got home to discuss whether or not she would be okay with letting their children venture out after everything they've been through, but he was hoping this would be a good step forward for all of them.

"They'll be fine, baby," he encouraged softly, "It's just like what we do on date night. It's not like I left them alone."

"I do not like the idea of them being so far away from the village."

"I promise it will be no different than when Kayla watches them at home. She's bringing them to a well-known spot to take a load off and have fun. Tsireya mentioned that she knew the place so it's not like anyone would get lost. They're in good hands."

Neytiri sucks in and lets out a shaking breath but eventually closed her eyes and nodded once in solemn agreement. Jake wanted to feel relief that she wasn't up in arms about this, but he couldn't find it within himself to feel that way. He knew exactly where she was coming from, where her thought process was. He couldn't blame her for being worried, the two of them both thinking the same thing as heavy, grieving silence filled the air. Jake immediately reached out to grasp Neytiri's hand and she clutched tightly onto him.

"Jake-- Devil Dog, do you copy? Jake?"

The sound of the long-range radio abruptly breaking the silence brings both Jake and Neytiri's ears and tails to perk up in alertness, and their eyes immediately harden to ones resembling warriors. Recognizing the voice patching through, Jake reaches for the radio and presses the device close to his lips,

"Dirty Falcon, I read you. What's going on, Norm?"

"Jake, we have a situation."

~~~~~~~~~

It ended up feeling like a school field trip as Kayla found herself with not only Spider and her nieces and nephew, but the other reef children they claimed as their friends. Once Tsireya had been invited, so were Ao'nung and Rotxo, making Kayla the single chaperone of six Na'vi children and one human.

At first, everyone could tell both the suspicious and curious nature the two reef boys felt upon being officially introduced to Spider, but at least they were civil, and they even looked surprised when Spider greeted them in perfect, proper Na'vi. It also helped that both Tsireya and Kiri were adamant about making Ao'nung and Rotxo converse with Spider, determined to make them all friends.

Rotxo didn't appear to mind Spider at all, being the more curious one and asking the human teenager obnoxious questions that got Spider to laugh. Ao'nung, however, was a different story. He kept his distance and ignored Spider entirely, only nodding once in greeting the human boy and sticking close to the other kids he knew better. Even though the chief's son wasn't hostile toward Spider, Kayla still kept a close eye on him anyway. Tsireya and Kiri were good mediators of the group and took the lead as they traveled further and further into the jungle. Tuk was a breath of fresh air for everyone, constantly laughing and running circles around the group with excitement as they ventured further toward the center of the island, ready for a new change in scenery.

It was Lo'ak who appeared to be the most estranged out of all of them. He had been quiet the whole way to the waterfall and only spoke when spoken to, faintly smiling whenever it was Tsireya who addressed him. However, Lo'ak was acting more closed off than usual and strayed away from the group as they walked. Kayla made sure to keep an eye on her nephew as well, knowing that his situation at home wasn't the most ideal. Lo'ak was purposely spending time out of his family's marui as of late, either seeking Spider out and hiding away in Kayla's hut with his childhood friend, or he tried blending in with the reef children and was constantly hunting or helping out with chores around the village. He was practically doing anything to keep him away from his family and especially his father, only returning to the Sully marui to sleep and eat.

Kayla noticed how Jake didn't address this as a problem, which is why she was keeping an eye on her nephew. Even though Jake claims to finally See Lo'ak, he is still treating his son much like before. If Kayla was anyone else, she'd leave it the hell alone, but she wasn't. And if she needed to be harsher to her brother about it, then by Eywa, she was gonna do it. She'd do anything for these kids, and that even surprised her to admit that.

It was easy for her to reach out to the children. Her nieces and nephews gave their hugs and trust to her willingly, without trepidation, almost immediately upon meeting her for the first time. Maybe because of that, it was easier for Kayla to accept their hugs and trust when she confidently knew they thrive on receiving touch as well as giving it. Even children who weren't as familiar with her, like the reef children, gravitated toward Kayla, either because she was unique-looking as an avatar, or she was just more laid-back and unserious compared to most adults they knew. For Spider, it was a healthy mixture of both.

For adult humans and Na'vi, it's different. Mature and aware of how the world works, Kayla would rather try to shield the children from the horror of life for just a little while longer if no other adult was going to do it.

The waterfall was tall and led down into a quiet, beautiful lagoon. Animals scattered from their water hole when the Na'vi children appeared, and Tuk laughed as they ran away. Immediately, the reef children encouraged the others about what to do by shoving one another to get to the water first, jumping high, and splashing into the lagoon. Spider and the Sully kids laughed and soon followed, even climbing up to the very top of the waterfall to jump down from once Kayla was confident that the water was deep enough to do so.

Kayla watched the kids play in the water while also exploring the waterfall herself, venturing into and standing in the small alcove hidden behind it. Curious, she whoops and lets her voice echo off the walls of the small cave, and the sound rang in her ears. She smiled as an idea struck her, heading back out of the alcove and rejoining the children. None of them appeared to notice anything until she approached them, first going to Little Tuk and pointing out the waterfall.

"Go behind there and scream and laugh as loud as you can. Come back and see if your sister heard you or not."

Tuk giggled excitedly at what she assumed was a game her aunt had in mind and ran toward the waterfall. The teenagers look between Kayla and Tuk curiously but don't mention anything as they watch the youngest child of their group disappear behind the waterfall. It took a few minutes, but Tuk reemerged, out of breath and grinning as she skipped over to her sister, "Kiri! Kiri! Did you hear me?"

"No, I didn't," Kiri smiled encouragingly at her sister before taking a glance at her aunt.

Kayla smiles, tilting her head toward the waterfall, "You next, Kiri."

"Yes! You next!" Tuk drags Kiri out of the water by the hand, "I'll come with you! Let's try to scream as loud as we can, and if anyone out here can hear us, then we win!"

The Sully girls go behind the waterfall while the rest of the teenagers stare questionably at Kayla. She only shrugs, flashing a smile of understanding at each of them, "You kids have been through a lot lately... I thought maybe you'd like a place to scream out your frustrations without anyone hearing you. Only if you want, but I think you need to let some things out."

When Kiri and Tuk return, the other teenagers glance at each other with knowing expressions. Spider whispered Kayla's intentions to Kiri when she still looked confused, and in response, a grateful look took over Kiri's face as she nodded at her aunt.

Tuk was none the wiser as she ran up to Kayla, "I wanna do it again!"

"Go ahead, sweetheart."

"Will you come with me, Auntie?"

"Of course."

After that, one by one, each of the teenagers decided to slip away while the others were playing in the lagoon to have a few minutes alone behind the waterfall. When each of them returned, they appeared relaxed, lighter than before, and acting their age. Kayla internally pats herself on the back, calling it a success, especially when Ao'nung had loosened up and shared a short conversation with Spider.

If anyone noticed Lo'ak's eyes were puffy and red when he returned from behind the waterfall, they didn't mention it. They only smiled because he was smiling again.

They must have been there for hours, but eventually, Kayla called it a day and everyone was much too tired to argue. On the way back as they trekked through the jungle, Spider kept close to Kayla's side, instinctively keeping a watchful eye out as they walked through the trees, in case something decided to try and grab at the weakest link in the group which at the moment was Kayla with a sleeping Tuk on her back, making her slower than the teenagers. Something caught his eye while they walked, and it was Kayla's songcord swinging in the wind from side to side each time her leg moved forward. He noticed the cord was longer than he had last seen it, the end now sporting a wooden bead and a shell soon after.

"That's new," he simply states.

Her ear flicks in his direction, and he watches as she looks down to see what he is referring to. Sunlight was right above her, casting a shadow over her face, but even Spider could catch a sudden shift in her expression. If he had blinked, he would have missed the shift. It was there one moment and gone the next, but he noticed a smile on her face, full of fondness, before she shook herself out of it relaxed her expression, and replied, "Yes."

The shift was all he needed to know, "Who gave it to you?"

She squinted her eyes curiously as she looked down at him, "What made you think it was given to me?"

"Answering a question with a question. Isn't that what you soldiers call 'deflecting?'" He smirked.

He didn't expect her to laugh, but he felt secretly pleased with himself when she did, "Touché, kiddo."

~~~~~~~~~

As they reach the village, the reef kids realize what time it is and decide to depart, needing to return home to their families. Kayla and the Sully children thanked them for their company and the fun day before waving them off and returning to their own marui.

Only, it wasn't much of a warm welcome. Upon entering the home, Kayla immediately noticed Neytiri's absence... and the murder set in Jake's eyes.

He huddled near the radio, waiting for the rest of his family to return home as he tried to figure out how he was going to break the news to them. In the meantime, Jake had sent Neytiri away to let out her rage and grief. He knew it wouldn't have been a good idea if she had stayed for this conversation. When Kayla and the children entered the kelku, Jake's murderous gaze immediately greeted Kayla. She froze when she was the first target of that glare, and once the teenagers saw Jake, they froze in the doorway as well, immediately scared with their backs straight.

Kayla kept still as she watched Jake's eyes. She only relaxed a little as she came to the conclusion that Jake's anger wasn't directed at anyone in particular, but he looked vengeful and was aging beyond his years. He looked like a broken man, a father who lost it all. He looked so grim with his eyes nearly staring up at Kayla through his forehead. She knew that whatever happened... it wasn't good.

She sets down Tuk and quietly asks Kiri to take her. She walks up to Jake and keeps her voice down in case he wants this kept between them, "What's wrong?"

His eyes flicked to the kids standing around behind his sister, all of them looking confused and worried other than the bleary-eyed Tuk. He glances back at Kayla and deeply sighs through his nose before deciding to keep his voice at a normal, steady tone. He thought the kids deserved to know, too,

"Norm just called. They intercepted some RDA radio chatter. Quaritch is alive."

No one dared bat an eye as the news sank in, frozen in place and staring at Jake as if he had murdered a puppy right in front of their eyes. The air turned rigid and eery all around Kayla, the air sucked out from her lungs as though a bucket of ice water ran down her back. She swallowed thickly, trying to react as neutrally as possible... hoping that out of all the times Jake could possibly read her like an open book, this wasn't one of those times.

Kiri's voice was the first thing that rang out, "Spider?"

Kayla's spell is broken and she immediately unfreezes, whipping around in search of the human boy in question. She finds him instantly as he reacts fast to Kiri's question, pulling away from the group and backing up toward the door. Spider looked frightened and ashamed, his breath irregular as he took one hand and grabbed the opposite elbow, eyes wildly flicking between everyone in the room, Kiri, Lo'ak, and Jake most of all. He looked cornered, despite the doorway now being directly behind as he would not stop backing away. He looked absolutely horrified, and the guilt only ate him alive when his two best friends stared at him with worry and confusion, unaware of the damage he had done.

"I-- I'm sorry."

Jake's eyebrows furrow and his tail twitched, "What--"

"It's not your fault. Spider," Kayla consciously places herself between Jake and Spider, finally finding her voice in the growing tension of the room. Spider turned his body and gazed to the doorway, ready to bolt as Kayla found herself raising her voice, "Look at me--"

The order makes his back stiffen and Kayla internally lashes at herself for ordering him around so formally like a soldier when that wasn't her intention. Slowly, however, Spider finally peered back up at her, and she tried to soften her gaze and voice, "Don't."

Jake finally rose to his feet, his presence right behind his sister and making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, "Kayla, what are you-?"

"It's my fault."

All eyes return to Spider, and he forces himself to stay still, the smallest one in the room. He keeps his eyes on Jake, trying to relay what he is trying to explain with just one look. Jake analyzed him, eyes slowly squinting in confusion until Spider could see something click behind those dull, yellow eyes. He saw the denial set in first, then the bargaining, then the anger... and then it stayed that way. Jake's eyes begin to harden, and Kayla is suddenly very aware of the raging volcano slowly starting to brew behind her but she refuses to look back. Goosebumps ran down her back and every instinct told her to run, but she kept her feet planted and her eyes on Spider, trying to talk him down from his ledge with just one look.

Lo'ak is the first to ask. He wasn't known for being observant, but as Tsireya had claimed, he was a quick learner. Lo'ak looked between his father and his friend and realized that something had happened. Something unforgivable. Despite possibly already knowing what it was, Lo'ak had to ask... in case he was wrong, "Spider... what did you do?"

Kayla felt a large hand completely envelope around the circumference of her arm and she winced when that hand gripped on tightly and spun her around. She bites back the yelp that nearly escaped her lips as she's being stared down by the enraged Toruk Makto.

"You knew?" Jake accused in a low, deep voice.

She couldn't help it. Her eyes widen in fear, for once, of her brother. As much as she wanted to lie to prevent him from glaring at her like that... she couldn't afford for that rage to turn onto Spider. She rolls her lips, her voice raspy and betraying her bravery, "I... Yes, I knew."

Something snaps in place inside Jake's eyes, a harsh growl eliciting from the back of his throat, "Come here."

His grip only tightened further around Kayla's arm as he dragged her out of the marui, away from the children who now shook in fear of their father and for their aunt. Kayla wished she hadn't just been paraded around in front of them like that... secretly afraid as though she had angered her own father.

He pulls her out and harshly shoves her in front of him to confront her. Kayla immediately tries to bargain and plead her case before he could get any bright ideas, "But-- you don't understand--"

"Yeah? Enlighten me then," he snarled.

"You can't just ask a kid to leave his own father to die-!"

"You're not his mother, Kayla!" Jake finally roared, the volcano bubbling over.

"I don't care!" Kayla roared back as her fear gave way to anger. Suddenly the volcano was met with an unforgivable tsunami, "He's just a kid! All of them are just kids! You can't expect them to fall in line and be your perfect little soldiers for a war that YOU started!"

Jake seethed and pushed back, "He's old enough to know that he's responsible for his actions."

"Maybe, but even grown-ass adults refuse to admit their faults, present company included," the intended lashing hit dead-on, earning Kayla a wince from her brother. She didn't want to claim that victory over him, however, as the tightening viper in her chest began to unravel, "You say I'm not Spider's mom, and you're right. But you're not his father. Hell, you barely even father your own kids, so why should you father a kid who's not even related to you?"

"Don't you start--"

"You're a good dad to your daughters. Fine. I'll give you that. But you're too hard on Lo'ak, now more than ever. He just lost his brother for fuck's sake, Jake. You of all people know what that feels like!" She screeched.

"Lo'ak is the older brother now. He needs to learn to be responsible for his sisters."

"Oh, like how you were such a great, responsible brother after Tommy died?"

Even Jake's anger gave way to a slight feeling of discomfort and maybe even fear as Kayla suddenly began to laugh in such an unhinged manner, the maniacal grin she gave him sent chills down his spine, "Really? We're adding lying to the list now? Did you treat Lo'ak like a failure because he's reckless or because he's just like you? 'Cause, that's what I see. He's just like you, Jake, and that terrifies you because you know he'll screw up again and again. Just like you."

She took a step forward and Jake took a step back. He wished he hadn't, as his fear only made Kayla smile more, "So tell him that. Tell him the truth. Tell him how Tommy was the golden son, not you. You were never the golden son, not even when you became a marine and lost your legs for your dedicated service. Tell him how you were always the disappointment. Tell him how low you got in life when your brother was murdered and how you abandoned your sister when things got too hard."

Jake tried to regain the upper hand, needing to get this conversation back on track, "This isn't about me or Lo'ak. This is about Spider--"

"I wasn't finished," his jaw clamps shut when his sister's eyes bore into his, the viper in her chest now baring its venomous fangs, "You left me to die on that god-awful planet. From my experience, I know that Lo'ak and Spider would never even think of doing that to someone, let alone their own sisters. I believe Spider saved his father for the sake of being kind, compassionate, and merciful—three traits I doubt he inherited from the sperm donor. Spider is no savage. His doesn't kill as needlessly as you once did."

"He spared a monster's life--"

"Can you blame him? After what Neytiri had recently put that kid through?" Jake's ears lowered at the mention of his wife, and while Kayla wanted to be proud of her brother for always wanting to defend the woman he loved, she couldn't abide by that. She continued before Jake could even try, "Quaritch tried to save Spider from your wife. Can you honestly blame a child for saving the life of someone who was actually looking out for them for once in their young life? Yes, Spider may be young but he's also good. He wouldn't just let someone die, no matter how terrible and not if he could help it. That wouldn't make him any better than Quaritch."

"Kayla, I don't think you're hearing what I'm trying to say. Spider saved the man who promised he'd come after me and kill my whole family if I didn't kill him!"

Kayla's physical fangs made an appearance as she placed the blame entirely on a third party, "Then maybe you should've done a better job at killing him! I was there, Jake! I heard him loud and clear."

She finally closed the distance, prodding an angry finger into the center of Jake's chest as she seethes out, "You don't get to tell me how to parent. You don't even know how to parent, so you don't get to tell me when and where I can protect Spider. You can't even protect him from your own wife, so why should I trust that you have his best interest at heart?"

Moving around him, she definitely shoulder checks him on the way back into the marui, unaware of the wince that briefly succumbed his face, but he didn't react apart from that. He didn't even turn around. He only listened to the sound of her stomping feet, growing further and further away from him.

Kayla was on a mission as she sped back to the marui, only stopping her charge when Spider cut off her path, the human teen storming away as both Kiri and Lo'ak were seen exiting the kelku to chase after him, "Spider, wait!"

Kayla panics a little inside when Spider doesn't even react to his friends calling out for him. She reached out and gently grabbed his shoulder before he escaped too far, "Heyheyhey-- Spider? What's wrong--"

"Just leave me alone!" He screams and Kayla's instant reaction is to let go of his shoulder as if she had injured him. She took a step back like she had been shocked, frozen as she caught a glimpse of his face through his breathing mask, seeing the obvious red cheeks and angry tears uncontrollably slipping down his young face.

Kayla tried her best to relax, regain her patience, and hide her anger toward her brother so Spider wouldn't misunderstand. Breathing deeply, in and out, she tried to speak in her best, soothing voice, "... Okay."

At first, Spider looked shocked before it immediately melts into anger and frustration, his teeth seething out his aggravation as he glared at her, "Shit-- Why do you have to be so understanding?!"

"I just-- I want to help you, kiddo--"

"Just leave me alone! Please!"

He had raced off without ever giving himself the satisfaction of seeing Kayla's expression crumble into defeat. Kiri approached her aunt at this moment, briefly grabbing her hand as she moved to follow her oldest friend, "I got this, Auntie. Spider, wait!"

Kiri continues to chase after the human teen, while Kayla helplessly watches them both eventually disappear into the center of the village, beyond her sight.

Spider wasn't expecting Kiri to continue following him. He thought he'd lose her in the village, but by the time he reached the edge of the jungle and moved further in, he knew his attempt to escape detection was futile. Eventually, he caves in and waits for his friend to catch up, all the while he tries to calm down, his conflicted emotions fueling his panicked, harsh breathing.

"Please, Kiri, just go--"

"Sucks for you, Monkey Boy, 'cause I'm not going anywhere," Kiri immediately starts off when she finally caught up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "We just got you back--"

Spider huffs in disinterest, "After how long? Weeks? Months? Why couldn't-- Why didn't--"

Kiri could see Spider struggle with his next words. She could tell how angry, betrayed, and confused he was trying to express, and eventually, she figured out what he was trying to say and managed to voice his questions for him, "Why did we run instead of going to look for you?"

He didn't say anything, just trying to catch his breath. His silence was answering enough for the Na'vi girl as she continued, "I wanted to. Badly. But Dad believed you would be safer as long as you were away from us. And if we left, you would be even safer."

"That's bullshit." He glowered, still seething behind his mask.

Kiri's ears lower, a sentiment she felt in regard to Spider's statement. She had once thought the same when her father relayed that same excuse to her when he first told her that it was impossible to save Spider and that they were leaving the Omatikaya.

She nods in agreement, "... Only a little. Dad thought that if we took off, then you couldn't tell the Sky People where we were."

The betrayal wins over control of Spider's expression, staring up at her with such pain and disbelief, "I would never--"

"I know. I know," she was quick to reassure while taking another step closer. She managed to pull him further toward her until her arms were fully wrapped around him, her chin resting on the top of his head. She lowered her voice to something soft and soothing, "I wish we tried harder, Spider. I really do, and I'm so sorry."

She moves her hand up to gently grasp the back of his head, "But Kayla didn't give up. No, she stayed in the forest and kept looking for you, even after we had left for the ocean. She was so determined to find you, especially after she earned her ikran. Dad said that she even wanted to go after you, alone, when they heard you were sited at reef villages in the south."

Silence followed and if he currently wasn't standing stone-stiff in her arms, Kiri would've thought he had fallen asleep. The sounds of the flora and fauna around them were calming all of Kiri's senses, and she tried to bleed that feeling into Spider, gently tightening her grip around him.

Finally, Spider caves in, his shoulders slouching in defeat until he finally allows himself to lean into his best friend's embrace. His thoughts sounded far away as he spoke, "I... I wish she found me sooner."

The words haunt Kiri, her mind trying to wrap around everything that those words could possibly mean. She squeezes him a little tighter as she mumbles into his hair, "Spider... what did they do to you?"

Silence filled the air once more until he managed to settle on one word, "Nothing."

Kiri pulled away and Spider winced thinking he had upset her. But she doesn't move very far, only so that she can meet his eyes, her hands resting on both of his shoulders, "War orphans stick together, remember? You're my brother, Spider. You may not be able to see it, but I wholeheartedly believe that. You can tell me no living being will ever know."

He wanted to tell her everything. So badly it almost felt like it could burst out of his chest at any moment. He wanted to share certain parts he initially left out when he tried catching her and Lo'ak up on everything he had seen while captured. He wanted to explain why he has nightmares, and why he's afraid of waking up in a cold, sterile room. He wanted to tell Kiri that he saved Quaritch for more than just pity or kindness. How the man, no matter how terrible, saved Spider's life more than once, or at least saved the boy from unimaginable pain and torture.

The thought of those white lab coats immediately sends Spider's mind into a spiral. That awful, bright, and blinding machine, spinning rapidly around his head, his eyes forced open to watch as he began to feel the blood drip down his nose... his memories forcefully being ripped away from him...

The only thing that stops his nightmares from continuing is the thought of Quaritch, the man who stopped that machine from eating away at the boy's mind.

Spider wanted to tell Kiri everything... but the fear of her not being able to understand was much stronger, "I... I can't... I'm sorry."

She squeezed his shoulders reassuringly, "Don't be."

"No, Kiri--" He corrected himself, letting out a shaking breath, "I'm sorry for letting Quaritch go. Neteyam-- Quaritch-- He held a knife to your throat."

"And my mother held a knife to yours. We're even."

It was meant to be a joke, but it quickly fell flat on her tongue once his posture changed right before the last of the sentence even left her lips. He bristled like a scared cat, eyes hard with a flat tone of voice that made Kiri instantly regret her words, "That's not funny."

"You're right. I'm sorry..."

He pulled away despite the hurt expression on her face. He pointedly avoids looking her in the eyes, "I think I need some space... please..."

"Okay. Just... whatever you decide to do, at least tell us first... Please?"

"Yeah... okay..."

~~~~~~~~~

Surprisingly, Spider finds himself alone for the first time in who knows how long, sitting comfortably up on a large branch while watching day turn into night over the entire island. He's met with the familiar silence he often found himself in back at home in the Hallelujah Mountains, but lately, he hadn't been familiar with the concept. It was likely that the last time he was by himself was when he found Quaritch at the bottom of the ocean and lifted him up to the surface. Ever since then, he was always in the company of someone else, either Kayla or the Sullys.

He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, if he was being honest with himself. He wasn't sure if it was because of his time spent with the Recoms, but it almost felt as though everyone in this village was keeping a close eye on him, even the Sullys, people he knew he used to trust with every fiber of his being... but now that trust has been questioned.

He wasn't blind. He noticed how on edge Kayla always appeared when he and Neytiri were in the same room.

He didn't want to believe he was a hostage, especially not with his childhood friends and companions... but it honestly didn't feel that different compared to when he was with the Deja Blue Squad. Spider didn't want to make a comparison, but much like the Sullys, Quaritch never let him out of his sight.

So, he took this breath of freedom to his full advantage, climbing from tree to tree, swinging from branch to branch until his arms and legs ached. He felt alive again, even laughing to himself. When he finally sat down to watch darkness slowly encompass the island and the bioluminescence come to life, he was able to finally breathe his own air, even if it was only through his mask. A moment of freedom, to be himself without walking on eggshells around everyone he was with. Then again, he knows it's not real freedom knowing that no matter where he went, he was stuck on this island with the Sullys, and maybe they knew that, too, which is why they're letting him believe he's alone, even if only for the night.

The paranoia was going to eat him alive, he was sure of it. The fact that he could no longer blindly trust the family he's always desperately wanted to be a part of was killing him. And now that they knew he spared Quaritch's life... he felt as though he could never let his guard down around them ever again.

Apart from Kayla. Spider felt safe enough around her to believe she'd understand, and she did. She didn't fault him for his choice when he initially told her. Kayla was the only one who didn't truly understand the full extent of Spider's parentage, even though she had been told, but since she wasn't ever hurt by Quaritch the way everyone else who lived on Pandora before her was, she didn't have that pain that kept her from fully accepting Spider.

Not that it was any excuse to neglect a child for the sins of their father. Spider knew that. He knew it was wrong, the way he had been treated, but up until recently, he couldn't fault anyone for it... or maybe he just never let himself believe he could on the off chance everyone would fully accept him one day.

Hearing Kiri talk about how Kayla never gave up on him, how she searched for him relentlessly even when she had no reason to, made Spider feel both relieved and guilty. Relieved that there was at least someone out there who pitied him enough to know that he didn't deserve this and needed to be rescued, but guilty that she had to be the one to do so. She wasn't family to him. She had no ties to Spider and no reason to care for his safety and well-being, but she did, nevertheless. He wasn't sure how to feel about an adult who didn't have any familial relations to him all of a sudden give a damn about him, mainly because he didn't want it to be out of pity.

Kayla clearly wasn't his mother. Spider had a picture of his mother taped to the ceiling above his bunk when he was living with his foster family for years. He knew his mother's face and he knew her name. Kayla wasn't Paz Socorro, back from the dead.

... But he would be lying to himself if he didn't think about it. He had wondered a time or two if Paz were alive, would she be like Kayla? Worse? Better? He didn't know when he started comparing his mother to Kayla, but once he realized that he was, he was ashamed of himself and forced himself to stop. Spider didn't have a mother anymore. He wished he did, and that's why he knew he was allowing Kayla to look out for him a little too much.

In the eyes of the Na'vi, he could be considered an adult... but he wasn't Na'vi, as much as it pained him to admit it. He was human, and from what he's learned, kids his age barely had to worry about anything past schoolwork and who was going to take them to prom... whatever that was. He heard Kayla mention a prom once but wasn't fully listening. Whatever it was, it made Norm and Jake laugh, reminiscing their old human lives back on Earth for a little bit.

Kayla was a firm reminder that Spider was a human child and should be able to act as such. She's been trying to drill that into all their heads, adults and children alike. She wasn't exactly hiding it as she continued to berate how Jake parents his children and how he makes them grow up too quickly. Spider admired her for that... but almost despised it whenever she came to his defense because he knew he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to be treated or coddled like a kid... not after what he did.

He didn't deserve to be loved and cared for.

He sucked in a sharp breath, horrified by his own thoughts. Suddenly he was too scared to be left alone, and so he raced through the jungle and back to the direction of the village.

It was late, so he thought if he snuck into Kayla's kelku, she would be asleep and he wouldn't have to try and explain himself. The thought of her catching him after he snuck out was both terrifying and... strangely domestic. He actually felt himself smile at the idea of Kayla berating and lecturing him for sneaking out and not coming back until the late hours of the night.

But that didn't happen. Instead, when Spider walked into the marui he'd been calling home for a little while now, Kayla was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. To ignore his conflicted emotions, he took the time to fish out his rations when his stomach rumbled in protest. He takes a deep breath as he switches his breathing mask out for the cannula nose tubes that are always stashed inside the exo-pack for emergencies, slowly breathing back out and in through his nose once he feels the familiar tickling feeling of oxygen run through his nostrils.

He eats his dinner in silence, looking around the marui to find that Kayla's failed project of a "bookshelf" is still lying there, looking pathetic. His chewing slowed as he remembered how embarrassed and frustrated she looked when she wasn't able to make this pod feel "homey." He had been confused by her attempt to make this place feel more comfortable and home-like, and now, after everything Kiri told him, Spider wondered if Kayla was trying to do all this for him? For his sake?

It was suddenly hard to swallow his food and Spider relinquished the idea of eating, setting his rations aside and brushing his hands together. Something settles in his mind, determined and unrelenting. He forced himself not to overthink as he marched over to the sad excuse for a plank of wood and lifted it up, inspecting it. No, he wasn't known for putting together furniture that didn't come with instructions, but he wasn't thinking about it anyway. He was pretty sure the shelf was a lost cause and he could show Kayla how to properly decorate a Na'vi home tomorrow. But for now, he fetched his knife and began to carve out a small shape into the wood.

He had been crouched over his small project when Kayla had finally returned home, exhausted and after nearly spending all night worrying herself sick over the kid she placed in her care. She stopped in the entryway, however, when she recognized the small human painted in blue stripes, casually working on something in his hands whilst he rested on the heels of his feet, as if he had never left. Spider looked up at her entrance, and when Kayla peered down, she noticed his knife in one hand and a small, rounded bead in the other.

Sighing in relief, she stepped forward and knelt beside the teen, reaching out to gently hold the back of his head but stopped once she reminded herself not to do so. She pulled her hand back and Spider watched her carefully, trying not to appear cautious or worse, appear as though he wanted Kayla to reach out and comfort him.

"Spider..." She eyes him down with a careful inspection until she's satisfied that he's not physically hurt, "Are you okay?"

He nodded because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to lie properly if he spoke up.

Kayla relents after that, leaning back and breathing out another sigh. He goes back to work on his bead once he realizes she won't be asking any further questions. She watched him work instead, now curious once he successfully finished the bead and was now moving on to adding it to a familiar piece he kept on his loincloth.

"Is that your songcord?" She asked.

Spider nodded again, "Yeah."

"It's beautiful. What's the significance behind the new one?" She indicated to the new bead.

Spider paused, trying to figure out how to answer without actually giving it away. He briefly found himself glancing back over at the bookshelf he left in the corner of the room, the one Kayla had tried to make with her bare hands, the one she was trying to use to make Spider feel more at home, the one that now had a chuck missing because Spider wanted to commemorate it onto his songcord. Finally, he answered what he knew would be vague, but it was still the truth,

"Safety."

He bowed his head in shame, following up with a soft mutter under his voice, "I'm sorry."

With his songcord forgotten, she somehow knew he was talking about the events that transpired today and she immediately reassured him, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Spider."

"Yes, I do. I was such a jerk. Like you said-- you're only trying to help me. But I keep getting you in trouble with Jake--"

"Nope," she immediately shut that thought process down, anger blooming inside her, but not because of the teenager in front of her. She made sure her reassurance was heard loud and clear, firm and confident, "You're not. What Jake and I have going on has absolutely nothing to do with you, kid."

He carefully peered up at her, "... Family differences?"

She snorts dryly, "That's putting it lightly."

"Still. It's a little annoying that you won't accept an apology from me. You're a bit too understanding."

Kayla smirked, "Tough."

"I'm almost convinced I could get away with murder in front of you."

"I mean-- If it's necessary..." he's startled into laughing and Kayla smiles at the sight. She finally gains the courage to reach over and pat his knee, "I'm only human. To be human is to be flawed."

His laughter dies down, but the humor remains. He flashes a fox-like grin, his voice teasing, "Sucks for you humans, doesn't it?"

Kayla laughed through her nose as she feigned a stern, motherlike voice, "Okay, smartass, go to your room."

"This is my room!"

~~~~~~~~~

Kayla wasn't sure if Neytiri had been told that Spider saved Quaritch, but just in case, Kayla made sure that Spider was nowhere near the Na'vi woman and none the wiser so he could enjoy a good fishing lesson with the Sully kids and Tsireya.

Well, the Sully kids minus Lo'ak. Jake decided it would be a good idea for his son to join the adults in this discussion, much to Kayla's distaste. She wasn't sure if Jake was just being petty and rubbing it in her face, or if he genuinely believed that Lo'ak was grown up now and needed to be a part of this instead of being outside and hanging around other Na'vi his age.

Nevertheless, as Kayla stands near Lo'ak in their family marui, Neytiri tries discussing what measures they'll need to take to send Spider home and Jake silently listens. Kayla made the smart choice to keep Spider away from the kelku today as Neytiri was nearly ready to go out on a tirade... hence why Kayla stood close to the door. Neytiri wanted to scream and curse when she initially discovered who was responsible for Quaritch's life, and then she proceeded to ramble about sending Spider back to the Forest, whether to leave him with the Omatikaya or have the Sky People deal with him. Whichever option they choose, Neytiri follows up with the comment that Spider couldn't stay here anyway because he will run out of much-needed resources soon.

While Kayla knows that Neytiri is just trying to get rid of him, the Na'vi woman makes an excellent point. Spider needs human food, medicine, and of course other supplies such as spare masks, none of which are provided here and are limited to what she had stashed away in her own marui.

"What if they capture Spider again?" Jake tried to reason with his wife, though it wasn't for the same reason as Kayla, which angered his sister, "Now that he's been to this village, he'll know where to lead the Sky People for the next assault because they're not going to stop just because we took out the Recoms."

Kayla snarled, her arms tightening around her chest as she glared at Jake, "Spider didn't give away the Omatikaya and he's not going to give away the Metkayina."

"Of course, he would!" Neytiri hissed back, pointing an accusatory finger at Kayla before Jake could retaliate, "He's the reason my son was--"

"No, Mom. It was me," all eyes turned to Lo'ak and the poor boy looked as though he was holding back tears. His voice shook as he forced himself to continue, "I convinced Neteyam to stay and help me save Spider. If... If Neteyam didn't come with me, it would've been me instead. I had the gun. It should've been me."

Kayla carefully turned back to catch Jake and Neytiri's reaction, and she was not disappointed. Both of Lo'ak's parents appeared horrified, staring down at their son as if he said the most horrific thing imaginable.

Lo'ak lowered his gaze, not wanting to read into what their expressions meant, whether his parents were horrified that he got his brother killed or if they were horrified that he would blame himself and wish the roles were reversed. Either way, he couldn't stand being in that room for a second longer, sheepishly tilting his head toward the exit as he peered up at Kayla, "Auntie... can I talk with you outside for a minute?"

She nods and doesn't spare a second glance at Jake and Neytiri as she follows her nephew out of the marui. She thought they were just going to step right outside the home, but didn't question it when Lo'ak decided to lead her further away.

Once they were walking along the beach, Kayla decided to be the first to address why he brought her here, "What's up, kiddo?"

"I... wanted to thank you for what you said to my dad yesterday. You stood up for me."

Kayla stopped in her tracks, dread prickling down her body, "You heard that?"

Lo'ak weakly chuckles, "You weren't exactly quiet. I didn't mean to snoop, I swear."

She paused to think about this before realization hit her, remembering how Spider stormed out the second she returned from her argument with Jake, "Was Spider listening, too?"

The Na'vi teen's ears lowered as shame crossed his features, nodding with hesitancy, "Spider... he was pissed at me."

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't angry at him."

Even that statement shocked her, tilting her head down to him, "You're not?"

"No, I..." Lo'ak exhaled slowly, guilt wracking through his mind while forcing himself to speak, "I want to hate him... I want to be angry at him for letting that monster live."

"But you're not."

"No. I'm not."

"Why?"

"I don't know," when she appeared unimpressed by that answer, he simply shook his head, "I'm serious. I don't."

She watches her nephew for a moment, his mannerisms as he looks down at his feet to hide away from the world. Slowly, she opened her mouth, "I might know. Because you already lost one brother and you can't afford to lose another."

Lo'ak's head shoots up in her direction, yellow eyes wide with eyebrows scrunching together. Kayla watched as his face began to crumble and shatter before she took a step forward and gathered the boy in her arms, shushing him softly as Lo'ak's body was wracked with soft, silent sobs.

He held on tightly to her, his voice so quiet and small, "I want to wake up, Auntie. This all feels like a bad dream; something I can't wake from. It hurts all the time and it won't stop. It should've been me... I wanted it to be me..."

"Lo'ak-- hey... hey. No," she softly comforts, her heart breaking at the state of her nephew, scared of what he was saying about himself but trying to be supportive, "Don't say that. You don't mean it."

"But I do! I convinced him to come with me to save Spider! He would still be here if it weren't for me!"

"Do you regret it?"

His cries stutter for a moment, shocked by the question as he tilts his head up, "What?"

"Do you regret saving Spider?"

"N-No."

She pushes back the stray braids he kept on one side of his head, "Even though he saved the man who was behind your brother's death?"

"I don't get it. Why are you trying to make me angry?"

"I'm not, I swear," she shook her head as her eyes started to warm and blur, the sight of her nephew so broken and grieving was a harsh reminder of the other nephew she lost, "I'm just saying... if you don't regret it, then I'd say it was worth it, and I'm sure Neteyam would, too. The fact that you would rather trade places with Neteyam than regret saving Spider tells me you don't blame Spider for what happened."

Her words both shattered and mended his heart, his cries slowing down with silent tears still running down his face. He squeezed her waist before letting go, stepping back to wipe his eyes, his breathing still shaking as he nodded, "Spider's my brother, too."

Kayla smiled gently even as her own tears slipped down her cheeks undetected, "Do you think Neteyam felt the same?"

"I think so. I just... wish nothing happened the way it did. One of the last things I said to 'Teyam before everything went to shit was how determined I was to save Payakan because he's my brother. Neteyam probably hated me for that..."

"He didn't. I'm sure of it."

Lo'ak huffed quietly, taking one hand and clasping it over his opposite elbow, "You don't understand..."

"How come?"

"Because you've never lost a brother."

Kayla's eyes widen, feeling as though she had just been slapped in the face, "Lo'ak... has your father never told you anything about your Uncle Tom?"

"N... No?"

She had never, not once, ever felt the kind of rage that just rolled in her gut, rumbling like a cornered animal. Kayla would later pat herself on the back for how quickly she had managed to shift her face into a clean slate before Lo'ak even noticed the shift in her eyes. Instead, she keeps her voice leveled, "You should ask him. Because I can tell you right now... he and I know exactly how you feel."

Either Lo'ak didn't catch onto what she was saying, or he was wise not to venture further into that viper nest. While his sobs had vanished, one stray tear still managed to slip past his detection, "Brothers forever. We should have been brothers forever..."

"Lo'ak, look at me," he does so, barely blinking when she reaches down to wipe away the tear. She managed a smile, one that showed her age as she expressed what she's known for a very long time, "The word 'forever' is not meant for people. People can't live forever. 'You know what does live forever? Memories. Stories. Songs. Those last forever, just as long as there's someone who will remember them. You and Neteyam will always be brothers, forever, even when you're no longer around, as long as there are still people here who remember you. Okay?"

~~~~~~~~~

The communal meal that night was lively and honestly, it was something the Sullys needed. For the time being, they kept the newest sign of danger to themselves and Kayla hoped that it wouldn't eventually bite them in the back. She knew eventually she and Jake would have to tell Ronal and Tonowari about Quartich-- then again, she could just have Jake do it. She technically didn't need to get herself involved as her brother could speak for all of them, but somehow, she had become the spokesperson between her brother's family and the clan leaders of the Metkayina. Kayla didn't volunteer or even detested it, but one day it just happened and she's been playing along ever since. So now that the responsibility fell onto her, she had been thinking of when would be a good time to speak to Ronal and Tonowari.

Now would definitely not suffice as Kayla spots the clan leaders across the way, toward the head of the line of Na'vi eating amongst each other. Ronal and Tonowari were speaking to an elder, all serious and respectful, until Tsireya and Ao'nung joined them. Both leaders spot their children at the same time before gently dismissing the elder and moving to converse with their son and daughter, likely to hear about how their day went. Kayla watched openly, knowing that neither of the clan leaders could see her from her spot. It was a bit cowardly to watch them when she knew she wouldn't be caught, but she allowed herself to be selfish in this moment.

That is, until Jake interrupted her. He hadn't noticed what his sister was distracted by as he moved to sit beside her with his plate of food in hand. Once he's crouched next to her, the spell is broken and Kayla is suddenly aware of his presence and pointedly only staring down at her meal laid out in front of her.

Jake takes a moment to settle in before speaking at a low level, "Whatever you said to Lo'ak... thank you. He looked more lively than before."

She hummed, unimpressed, "Believe me, he would've looked better if it was you."

"Yeah, well... according to you, I don't say the right things."

"As a brother, sure," she shrugged, uncaring and a bit too brutal with her words. She didn't have the energy to put a filter on it, "But you can't afford to be like that when you're a father. Unless you're trying to be like our old man."

"... That was low."

Her ears pinned back against her skull, pausing the small wooden cup of water she held to her lips before taking a sip and lowering it back down, "Yeah, I guess it was. You... never told your kids about Tommy."

Jake winced, and suddenly he was aware of the storm beginning to brew as if electricity was radiating off his sister's skin. He could feel the charge and resisted the urge to move away, "... No, I haven't."

"Are you going to now?" Her question wasn't curious or sarcastic. It was surprisingly calm, but perhaps that's what made it all the more terrifying, "They might open up to you if they knew you lost a brother once, too."

Jake found himself opening his mouth despite knowing it was a bad idea. Grace always did call him a jarhead for this, among other things, "I thought you'd be angry that I never talk about him."

"Oh, believe me, I'm furious," she eyed him up with malice in her eyes, a fire that couldn't be doused by any ocean as her own voice dropped low into something quiet yet venomous, "No one gets to defile my big brother's memory like that. No one. How would you feel if Lo'ak decided to never mention Neteyam again? How do you think his sisters would feel?"

Jake watched her face with what could be described as guilt, "You're right..."

And there they were again. At a stalemate. For a moment, things looked as though everything would get better between siblings. Now, it was back to square one. Kayla thought she could move on from what she felt regarding her brother, but when she's always so close to forgiving him, something always reels her back. Kayla was sure he was tired of this as much as she was, but neither one has been able to find equal footing, no matter how hard they tried to mend what's been broken.

Instead of trying to mend it even further, Kayla spoke as if she was resigned to it, "I'm sorry it's come to this."

He didn't need to ask. He knew what she meant, and he nodded in agreement, "Me, too. I was out of line the other day."

"You were scared. It's hard to blame you..." She shrugged, "Quaritch is still out there. He's your demon as much as Ardmore is mine."

Jake processed that for a moment, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh through his nose, "Well, the good news is we have the element of surprise. Quaritch doesn't know about you."

He didn't miss the way her tail rose to alertness or the way her ears suddenly moved to attention. She even looked guilty, eyebrows scrunched together as she cringed, trying to hide her face behind her drink as she spoke,

"Jake... Quaritch knew who I was."

He was just as alert now, "What?"

"On the ship, when we were fighting, he found out who I was."

"How?"

She reached for her collar, gently grasping the chain around her neck before lifting it up into the air, letting her dog tags slip out from underneath her crop top. They glimmer faintly in the firelight as Jake reads her name from the tags loud and clear in his head.

"You were wearing them?"

"Old habits die hard."

Jake couldn't argue with that. He knows he was just as guilty about old habits. His hand rose to rub his eyes when he felt the muscles in his brows twitch from stress, "... I guess we're all going to have to be careful then."

"That's an understatement."

~~~~~~~~~

Another nightmare. Another night of trying to convince himself he was safe. Spider doesn't like the fact that Kayla is always so willing to talk to him about it, even though he knows that she's just doing her best. He knows he'll eventually have to talk about it, but for now, he'll continue to wake from his nightmares and refuse to talk about them when Kayla asks about them at the moment.

This particular night was bad, worse than the rest, and by morning, Spider was definitely short with his tone and his patience. He kept to himself, not willing to talk or indulge anyone by proxy. Kayla decided that further irritating him wouldn't be a good solution, so she offered to leave while he stayed in the marui, stewing with his ill temper.

Kiri must have tried to draw him out because a short while after trying to talk to Spider, she found her aunt in the shallow water of the reef and helped her with the net she was throwing out while she shared her concern,

"He was tortured... wasn't he?"

Kayla glanced at Kiri out of the corner of her eye, wishing she could lie to her. The only reason she didn't was because Kiri already looked confident that she knew the answer. As young as she was, she had already been through so much-- she wasn't naive about the world, which hurt to admit.

Kayla returned to her task, taking a deep breath, "Yes, I'm pretty sure he was. But he hasn't said anything to me."

"Not to mention what my mom did to him..."

It honestly shocked Kayla that it took this long to have this conversation with Kiri. She had secretly dreaded this moment that would eventually have to happen with her niece, knowing that it would be hard to comfort her while also trying to explain her mother's actions as neutral as possible, despite her own opinion, "That woman who held a knife to Spider's throat... that wasn't your mother, sweetheart."

"You haven't spoken to her very much." Kiri simply states.

Kayla's lips drew a thin line, "No."

Not only that, but Kayla had been actively avoiding Neytiri, only tolerating the other woman's presence if she knew Spider would be forced into the same vicinity as her. Kayla knew it wasn't entirely Neytiri's fault and it wasn't fair to blame all of Spider's trauma on her, but it was easier.

Kiri accepted her aunt's short reply before quietly admitting out loud, "I was scared."

"Of your mom?"

"Yes, but mostly for Spider. For years, I tried to convince myself that my mom loved Spider in her own way, and I tried to convince Spider, too. But then she held a knife--" She winced, lightly hitting the palm of her hand against her forehead, "I feel so stupid--"

"You're not stupid, Kiri," Kayla quickly reached out to take her niece's hand, drawing it away from her face, "You're an optimist. That doesn't make you stupid. Listen. Your parents love you. They'll do anything for you."

"Yeah," the thought of all those dead bodies, the fire, the explosions, the sinking of the ship, and of course, the fear in Spider's eyes, "That's what scares me."

"It is a scary thought... but I understand how they feel. I mean-- I know I'd do anything for you kids now, as cheesy as it sounds."

"It's not cheesy," Kiri faintly smiles, "You're family, Auntie. We know you only want what's best for us."

"Yeah?" She huffs in amusement, "Someone should tell your father that."

"Would... Would you have done the same thing? If you were in my mother's place?"

Kayla peered up at the sky, a little thrown off by the question but wasn't at all surprised that Kiri was curious. She had never thought about it before if she was in her brother's position. If she was in Neytiri's position.

"I'm not sure I can imagine being in your mom's place, sweetheart. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a son. It's possible Neytiri wasn't entirely aware of her actions. Or she was. Who knows? I just know one thing. If it were me, Spider would've never been in harm's way to begin with, I promise you that."

Kiri tilts her head up and watches the sky with her aunt, not entirely at peace, but content, "I think I can live with that answer."

~~~~~~~~~

Another nightmare and Spider couldn't take it anymore. He needed to tell someone something, and if it wasn't about what he endured within Bridgehead, then it could at least be something useful. After all, while the Recoms were learning how to be a Na'vi from him, Spider had been learning a thing or two from the Sky People as well.

He searched and found Jake and Kayla on top of the large mangrove trees, attending to their ikran, not wanting their banshees to feel neglected and unloved while they lived their new lives on the water. Everyone with eyes can see that the older Sully siblings are at odd ends with each other, but that's nothing new to Spider and the family. It wasn't any different from when Kayla first arrived on Pandora, so... even though it wasn't anything new, it was a little concerning that she and Jake were still at odds with one another. Although, maybe they were trying to get past it as they tasked themselves with the ikran.

Kayla smiled to herself while running a single hand down Thena's snout before she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Looking up, her alertness melts into an open-minded smile once she realizes who it is, "Hey, Spider."

Jake looks up at Spider's name and nods in a short greeting before the boy steps closer, hesitant, "I... have to tell you guys something. I know why the Sky People are back. I know why they're here and I know what they're after."

Despite their disagreements, Jake and Kayla are still very much the first generation of Sullys on Pandora as they both turn to look at each other at the same time, then proceed to do the same as they look back at Spider.

"We already know they want to take this world as their own," Kayla replied.

Spider simply shook his head, "It's more than that."

Jake's eyebrows furrow, "They're not mining again?"

"No. Worse. They're hunting tulkun with a purpose. Not just to piss off the Na'vi. There's uh... a liquid substance found in the brain matter of tulkun called Amrita. Apparently, it completely stops human aging in its tracks."

"What?" Jake frowned.

"It's worth millions of dollars. They told me that Amrita is what's paying for RDA's whole operation on Pandora. The military, the city, the labor force..."

Jake stares off at the distance, deep in thought with a grim expression on his face. Kayla doesn't appear phased by the news, unsurprised by the Sky People's motives. When Jake turns to her, she voices her resigned thoughts, "I told you. Earth was dying by the time I left. Things must have gotten even worse since then if they were getting this desperate."

Jake watches her carefully before nodding in agreement, "The olo'eyktan and the tsahik should know about this."

"I'll talk to them," Kayla volunteers before Jake could even move. She pulls away from her ikran and moves to the human boy, an arm out to guide him forward, "Spider."

The teen followed her lead without question, and Jake couldn't avoid the wary, cautious glances both his sister and the boy managed to glance back at him before they went back to the direction of the village. He's left alone to his thoughts and his attention-seeking ikran.

When they reach the chief's marui, Kayla insists on speaking her piece first, telling both Ronal and Tonowari about who Quaritch is and why he is dangerous being left alive, then she lets Spider talk as he explains why the Sky People were after the tulkun. Both clan leaders listen to both of them intently, and when Spider mentioned witnessing the death of a familiar tulkun and her calf, Ronal's hand instinctively rests on her pregnant belly, horror slowly dawning on her face.

"My Spirit Sister and her baby were murdered... for this?"

Spider's eyes widen, unaware that the tulkun he witnessed being butchered was actually the tsahik's Spirit Sister. Guilt rattles in his chest at the thought of Ronal's distress, unaware of Tonowari's large hand gently encompassing his small shoulder until the olo'eyktan spoke,

"You have done well to bring this to our attention, boy," Tonowari spoke gently, waiting until Spider peered up at him before he gracefully nodded once down at him, "Irayo."

Spider nodded back, unable to think of anything else to say other than an apology when he saw how broken the once stern tsahik looked, "I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

He says this while looking up at Ronal, whose ears pin back as she tries to contain her composure. She almost couldn't stand the pitied look the tawtute boy graced her and she had to look away. With whatever Ronal didn't say, Kayla made up for by placing her hand on Spider's other shoulder, opposite of Tonowari's,

"You did what you could, Spider," she gently consoled.

"She is right," Tonowari adds, much to Spider's surprise and Kayla's gratification, "You would have endangered yourself if you had tried putting a stop to the murder of Ro'a. You are small and have no weapons."

Spider didn't take the chief's observation of his size to heart, still caught up on the name Tonowari called the murdered tulkun. Spider didn't know her name, and somehow that made him feel worse.

Kayla saw the look on his face and thought he was hung up on the idea of not having any weapons, "Something that I promise we will fix. Soon."

Spider simply nodded, still distracted by the memory Ro'a and her calf while absently muttering, "I miss my bow."

"We'll make a new one," Kayla squeezed his shoulder, "A better one, okay? Why don't you head back home? I'll meet you there."

He looks up at her, then Tonowari, then Ronal. He must have seen something curious as he tilted his head ever so slightly to one side. Spider looked as though he wanted to ask a question, but instead, he just nodded in agreement and moved out of Kayla and Tonowari's space, walking out of the marui while only occasionally looking back over his shoulder.

Kayla watched him leave, a little wary that she was sending him alone through the village until she couldn't see him anymore before turning back to the clan leaders. She doesn't appear phased about the fact that Ronal and Tonowari were already expectedly looking at her as she rolled her lips,

"The other reef villages should be told the reason behind the tulkun hunting."

Tonowari bows his head once in solidarity, "I will send word."

Kayla nods and makes a step out of the pod, but she froze with one foot still in. Hesitant, she turns back to the pair, not making eye contact as she opens her mouth, "I need to bring Spider home soon. Back to the forest. He's defenseless and he needs supplies in order to survive on the reef... should he be allowed to stay here."

When she hesitantly glanced up through her eyelashes, she was met with an untelling expression on both of their faces. Ronal is the first to answer, taking a deep breath, "... Do you vouch for the boy?"

"I do."

They exchange a look that Kayla is too exhausted to decipher before Tonowari speaks as he turns back in her direction, "He's a good child. Loyal and brave. If he wants to stay here, he will need to learn our ways."

She feels a tightness in her muscles that she didn't know was there begin to deflate and relax, her lungs expanding more than usual. Her faint smile grew more, gratitude evident in her eyes, "Copy that."

Ronal purses her lips to refrain from smiling back, "Let me know when you intend to leave. I will be sure to provide any provisions you need."

"Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~

A few days flew by with not much to call home about. There was still a live mine of an aura around Neytiri, so everyone purposely kept Spider away from her. Instead, the Sully children would go to Kayla's marui to visit with him or to take him away for lessons or explorations. Spider was delighted to learn he would be taught more about the Metkayina's way of life after Kayla explained Tonowari and Ronal's acceptance of him. He didn't want to get his hopes up, knowing it sounded too good to be true, but he didn't want to let the clan leaders down, let alone Kayla, so he didn't say anything and eagerly followed Tsireya and the Sully children to any lessons they were just as eager to teach him.

Kayla tried her best not to chaperone these lessons, knowing that being a helicopter... guardian wasn't what Spider needed. So, she'd see him off every day to wherever his friends had planned for him and leave them to it, at least comforted by the fact that the Sully children wouldn't let anything happen to Spider, and Tsireya and the other reef children were starting to feel the same way.

That afternoon, she found herself running her thumb over her songcord, sitting down to finally come up with the lyrics to tell her life story. She struggled and didn't get very far by the time Tuk pranced up to her kelku.

"Hey, Auntie? Max is on the radio. He's asking for you."

Kayla smiles and gets up, placing a hand on her youngest niece's head, "Thank you, sweetness. Is your dad around?"

"He's out fishing with mom and the olo'eyktan."

"Alright. The other kids are just down the beach. Go on ahead and I'll see you later."

Tuk runs off excitedly while Kayla makes for the Sully marui. She finds herself alone when she gets there and she crouches down in front of the long-distance radio, pressing it to her lips, "This is Desert Fox, you have the green light."

"Hey, Kayla, it's Max."

"Hey, Max. Everything alright?"

"Everything's fine except for, uh... except for one thing. You haven't broken your link in a while and your body's vitals are... well, I don't feel comfortable with how low they are. You need to come back, and I don't mean just breaking the link and waking up. I need you to bring the avatar back so I can get a proper assessment of both bodies."

She taps her finger against the talking piece as she chooses her words before responding, "Did Norm put you up to this? Normally, he's the one to call."

"Right now, Norm is... pissed off, to say the least. He figured I would have a more level head when talking to you."

"I understand," she sighs heavily, a headache already forming at the idea of having to face Norm's wrath, "I need to bring Spider back anyway. Tell Norm we'll be there tomorrow at about 1600."

"Copy that. Over and out."

~~~~~~~~~

When Tuk had mentioned Max's call to her father, Jake couldn't afford to wait to hear from Kayla about it and went looking for her, concern at the front of his mind. He finds her in her marui and stands in the doorway with hesitance when he notices the bags full of necessities on the floor in front of him. Kayla looked up as she was neatly placing Spider's rations in an easily accessible pouch, to which Jake's ears fell,

"Are you... packing?"

She nods, "Max had called while you were out. He says I've been away too long. I'll take Thena and fly back in the morning."

"Oh... are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I gotta go back. I shouldn't have stayed away from my human form for this long, you know that. I'll take Spider with me."

When Jake flinches and looks as though he wants to argue she immediately adds, "He needs to recuperate and Norm and the others need to see him. They've been so worried, Jake. You need to share the boy with the people who actually raised him."

"No, it's fine. I understand that part. It's just... with Quaritch out there... and now that he knows who you are... it doesn't feel right. He'll have every reason to take both you and Spider."

"I can take care of Spider and myself. I've handled worse than Quaritch, and he wouldn't harm Spider. I'll bring him back, but for the time being, he needs to go home and I need to stretch my human legs."

"So you will come back?"

There's a hesitance in his voice, a small hopeful tone that makes Kayla look away out of awkwardness, "Jake..."

"Right," he corrects himself with a nod, "Don't talk about it."

"No. Do talk about it. But not to me," she managed a small glare in his direction, "I'll come back and I better hear that you and Lo'ak talked."

"About what exactly?"

"Jesus Christ-- Anything, Jake," she snarls out of frustration, staring up at the ceiling as if begging Eywa to clean her brother's ears, "Everything. And make sure he knows that he's not just a replacement."

His eyebrows furrow as a growing need to defend himself begins to form, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean... when exactly did you first start to See Lo'ak? Before or after his brother's death?" Jake's eyes slowly widened as his sister's words bore a hole in his chest. Kayla makes sure her disapproval shows as she continues, "He might not think your parenting is genuine at the moment because you're probably just nurturing Neteyam through him."

"Shit. Okay. I'll talk to him... Are we good?" He motions a finger between the two of them.

"We're getting there," she answered simply, not in the mood to open up another can of worms before she had to leave. She didn't want to say how long it might take for her to finally see eye-to-eye with Jake, but she wanted to. Not enjoying the silence that lingered after her short reply, she took a steady breath in and out of her nose, gaining the courage to look up at him, "Do you... want me to tell everyone about Neteyam?"

His eyes widen a fraction more before he averts his gaze, the broken expression almost unbearable for his sister to see as he stares off at the wall beside him, "If... If you could. I understand if you don't want to."

"It's fine. Leave it to me."

~~~~~~~~~

Thena wasn't overjoyed by all the weight she would have to carry over the ocean, and she showed her distaste by gently nibbling Kayla's shin as her rider was strapping the bags of supplies onto her back.

"Ah," Kayla hissed as she moves her leg out of her ikran's reach, batting her softly with the end of her tail, "Frickin' drama queen. You're going home so quit complaining."

The banshee squawked in retaliation, shaking her neck before huffing loudly through her nostrils as Kayla would say-- dramatically. The ikran was resting on the beach of the village with a small crowd of Metkayina standing around to see Kayla and Spider off, their friends and family included.

Jake was on the other side of Thena, pulling and testing out the saddle, harness, and straps to ensure a safe flight, "Remember to take more frequent stops on the way back. She's not used to carrying so much for such a long distance."

"You got it."

"Still got your compass?"

"Check," she expresses as she indicates to the mentioned object, resting against her leg at the end of her songcord.

"Alright. Fly safe. Have Norm radio us when you get there."

He makes a step toward Kayla, then stops, his hands hesitating at his side before he just decides on firmly nodding. It almost looked as though he was going in to hug her, but decided against it when her shoulders hunched up at the idea. The siblings awkwardly stare at one another before Kayla walks around him and mutters, "See you later."

"Yeah..."

She moves to join Spider where he stands in the sand, his arms folded in front of him as he cautiously watches the Sully children out of the corner of his eye. Kayla peers over at her nieces and nephew, and can see how downtrodden they look, watching both her and Spider.

She offers them an encouraging smile before standing before the human teen. Kayla pinches the bottom of Spider's mask where his chin would be, making him look up at her as she gently whispered, "Hey. We'll be coming back sooner than later. I promise it won't be long. So chin up and go tell them that you'll see them soon. You don't have to say goodbye."

Slowly, he nods and walks away, toward Lo'ak, Tuk, and Kiri. Kayla watched as the siblings all surrounded Spider in a warm, tight hug before she heard the sand moving behind her. Turning around, she was met with Ronal and Tonowari approaching her, and she courteously greeted them by pressing her fingers to her forehead and lowering her hand down in their direction.

Tonowari mimics the motion to her as well with his free hand, his other one gripping his tall harpoon. The olo'eyktan kept a straight face, though Kayla was getting better at reading his eyes, those light blue orbs with specks of green. While he appeared to stand tall and proud over his people, his eyes told a different story, at least to Kayla. She could see a small hesitance in his gaze, trying to remain strong as he solemnly addressed her,

"Safe travels, Makayla te Suli tsmuke te Toruk Makto. Your home here will anxiously await your return."

Kayla bows her head respectfully, forcing down any color threatening to spread up her face. Her eyes dart to the woman standing next to him, catching Ronal's green orbs with specks of gold. The tsahik kept her face firm and blank, though her eyes briefly glanced Kayla up and down in a way that sent the avatar woman down a tunnel of yearning. Ronal's gaze alone was almost enough for Kayla to change her mind and decide to stay on the island for another week.

She quickly regained her words when her mind stuttered, her lips feeling dry as she spoke quietly, "Thank you, ma olo'eyktan. Ma tsahik."

It took a lot of willpower not to step back as Ronal boldly stepped into Kayla's space, grasping the avatar woman's hand in both of her larger ones. Kayla retained eye contact with the tsahik, trying not to crumble under the heat radiating off of the other woman's body, or at the very least, try not to visibly show how both of the clan leaders' presence affected her.

Ronal didn't even blink at this violation of unspoken space between them, lowering her voice for only Kayla to hear, "Eywa ngahu."

Kayla did her best to swallow her nerves and smiled ever so slightly once the words translated into her head. Almost regretfully, she finally steps away from Ronal, gently pulling her hand out of hers and swiftly turning her back to walk toward her ikran. Even as she walked away, Kayla could feel two pairs of eyes on her, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up, but in a more... exciting and promising way. Not like the discomfort she once felt when the clan leaders had first laid eyes on her.

Spider had already finished talking to the Sully children and patiently waited for Kayla beside Thena... but at a safe distance since the ikran was eyeing him a little funny. He wasn't entirely watching Kayla as she approached him, his eyes distractedly flicking between her and the clan leaders watching her depart. He doesn't say a word as Kayla encourages him to climb onto the banshee. He does so, while repeatedly looking back curiously at Ronal and Tonowari. Kayla followed him up onto her ikran's back as she reached her tswin out to form tsaheylu with her loyal steed. Kayla looks around the crowd one last time, from her brother and his family to the clan leaders who had accepted her into their village. She looked away and got comfortable on the saddle, making sure Spider was hanging onto Thena's neck from where he was situated in front of Kayla before ordering in her head for the ikran to take flight.

~~~~~~~~~

By the time the island of Awa'atlu disappeared behind them, Kayla and Spider silently prepared for their long journey ahead. They had to find rock cliffs all throughout the flight so that Thena could rest, more times than when Kayla first flew her out over the ocean, but neither avatar nor human complained, taking the breaks to stretch their legs before they would eventually have to hop onto Thena's back once more.

It was getting dark by the time they began to glide over vast trees and floating mountains, but the world of Pandora was just as bright at night as it was during the day, if not more beautiful, so Thena had no problems as she flew up higher into the Hallelujah Mountains, already knowing her way home.

Even though the mountain appeared inconspicuous, Kayla knew they were at the right spot. She heard a horn blow before she even noticed a single Na'vi, but once the horn had sounded, a chorus of yips and cheers gave away the High Camp's position. A cave was spotted along with torches beginning to light up to beckon her in the right direction, so Kayla grasped Spider's shoulder and instructed Thena toward the cave where she had begun to make out shapes of Na'vi waving her in.

Thena quickly lands the moment the landing zone is cleared, too tired to continue carrying all that weight for a second longer. Spider got off first before Kayla followed suit, breaking the tsaheylu and immediately tending to her ikran, running her hands up and down the beast's neck as thanks while supplying the banshee with plenty of raw meat. The floor of the cave felt cold and familiar beneath Kayla's feet as she looked around at yet another familiar growing crowd as they swarmed around her and Spider. The Omatikaya are all chatting around one another as they stare the two newcomers down, but they appear more relaxed and even happier to see them than ever before.

In the back of the crowd, Kayla caught an accent that wasn't Na'vi, "Look! It's Spider!"

And like dominos, other voices reacted as they drew closer, gently pushing the Na'vi out of the way to get to the human teenager who now perked up at the sound of familiar voices,

"Spider!"

"You're okay!"

"Good to see you, kid!"

"We're so glad you're safe!"

The allied humans, scientists, military, and everyone in between, with smiling faces covered in breathing masks, surround Spider to inspect him and hug him. He faintly smiles at all the familiar faces, adults he had known his whole life, greeting him like he was visiting for the holidays, marveling at how much he's changed.

One of the humans broke away from the group when she spotted the familiar avatar woman beside Spider, a young woman with dark, curly hair as she waved up to the avatar in question, "Kayla!"

"Hey, Jocelyn," Kayla's smile widened into a genuine joy to see her friend, "How's everything?"

"Doing well. It's so good to see you!"

"Makayla Sully!"

"Shit," Kayla mutters when she hears that familiar voice behind her, sounding pissed off. She sheepishly spins around and smiles as if she had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar, "Hi, Norm."

"'Hi, Norm.'" The man in question scoffs mockingly in his avatar form. For someone so lanky and overall nice, Norm Spellman can come off as terrifying when he's pissed, yellow eyes narrowing onto Kayla, "'Hi, Norm?' What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Listen, Norm, before you chew me out..." Kayla cuts off the tirade he no doubt had for her, hand out to stop him while looking around, "There's something I need to do first."

Norm nearly opened his mouth to protest, but then he looked down at Spider and noticed a grave expression on the teenager's face. Spider's gaze meets Norm and shakes his head, all the while Kayla continues looking around the crowd until she finally spots who she is looking for.

Amidst the chaos of everyone greeting Kayla and Spider, she hadn't seen Mo'at approaching until now, and whatever expression Kayla had on her face made the older Na'vi woman very cautious upon walking up to Kayla.

"Ma tsahik," Kayla bowed her hand to her respectfully, despite the grave expression on her face. It felt wrong to call her that. It felt like she was disrespecting Ronal somehow by calling Mo'at that, despite everything the Omatikaya woman had done for her.

"What has happened, Makaylasully?" Mo'at doesn't bother greeting, not once she saw something terrible flash in Kayla's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Mo'at... I wish I wasn't the one to tell you this."

~~~~~~~~~

Mo'at's cries of anguish could be heard all throughout camp, shaking the very foundation of their stronghold, and once word spread throughout the clan, more cries rang out, mourning over the loss of who was once their future olo'eyktan, who was still a child, echoing off the cave walls.

The Omatikaya had all flown off to the Tree of Souls to mourn Neteyam, while Norm and the other humans attended to Spider and Kayla.

Along with the heaviness in her heart, Kayla felt almost ill when she opened her eyes and was met with the soft-glowing ceiling of her link gurney for the first time in-- god, how long did she stay in her avatar form? Weeks? Months? It's all beginning to bleed together for her now. She waited until the gurney's lid hissed and opened before she removed the censor cage keeping her body in place, taking her time sitting up.

Which she immediately regrets as her arms threaten to give out when they push her torso up into a sitting position, cold and shaking. She wasn't able to restrain the weak groan she let out as her eyes strained and a headache formed right away, her vision dotted and dizzy. When looking down at her feet dangling off the side of the link bay, the woozy feeling in her stomach makes itself known, and suddenly her mouth begins to fill with saliva.

'Shit!'

Kayla leans further over the side of the gurney and vomits all over the floor around her, continuously gagging until her stomach contents are emptied. She spits and gasps for air, now suddenly aware that someone is standing beside her, holding her hair out of her face-- when did her hair get so long?

"Dumbass," Norm mutters, now human and now keeping Kayla's hair up as she continues to dry heave. He's still pissed at her, but it's somehow lessened from both the news of Neteyam and the state Kayla was currently in.

She had to agree with him when she felt her body begin to shake and a thin sheet of cold sweat started to form on her skin. Eventually, she's unable to vomit anything else out and just gasps for air, tears running down her face from how forceful that episode took over her body.

It takes a few minutes, but once she's calm, Norm helps her stand on her own two feet. He hands her an oversized zip-up hoodie, and when she questionably looks at it, he explains, "You're a mess, Kayla. If you don't want to freak Spider out, you need to wear that."

Once she catches her reflection on a nearby surface, she finally understands why. She's horrified by what she sees.

For one, she wasn't ready to see a human female with pale skin, a pointed nose, and light eyes staring back at her, nor the lighter shade of hair compared to the dark, braided locks she had on her blue-skinned avatar. Her human hair was greasy, knotted, and had grown down her back, unlike the kept hair she used to have cut to her shoulders when she first arrived on Pandora. What was more terrifying with how much weight she had lost. Her pants were loose around her waist and her muscle shirt was now baggy, her arms definitely less toned than she remembered. While she had always been pale, she now looked too pale, almost sickly.

By the time she was able to process her appearance, Norm had cleaned up the mess. When he was done throwing away the soiled rags and washing his hands, Kayla finally snapped out of it and zipped the baggy hoodie up over her form, quickly brushing her hair out with her fingers and pinning it up in a tight ponytail. Once she's straightened herself out and is fine with walking on her weakened legs, Norm gives her a disappointed look but says nothing, leading her out of the lab and down the hallway. He stands off to the side of the small medical room the human rebels made as the doors slide open, letting Kayla in first before himself.

Spider and Max look up from whatever conversation is interrupted by Norm and Kayla's entrance. Spider was sitting up on the slab meant for "patients" while Max was asking him concerned questions, questions that Spider wasn't all too happy talking about and was remaining closed off for the time being. He was thankful he didn't have to wear a breathing mask at least.

"Hey, Max," Kayla croaked before quickly clearing her throat and smiling to mask the hoarse tone in her voice.

"Good to see you, Kayla," Max smiled warmly, though she didn't miss the way his eyes shined with concern behind his glasses. Her vitals must not be the only thing he's worried about now.

Kayla quickly looks away and expertly ignores the tension in the room as she approaches Spider, "Hey. How 'you doing?"

"Alright." He responded robotically, eyes squinting at her human form once more and a little cautious about what he saw.

She remembers that he always preferred her avatar over her human form and huffs with amusement, shrugging in her baggy hoodie which made her look so small, "Yeah, I know. I look weird."

"You're not the weirdest-looking human I've met."

She snorts, "Charming."

"But you look different from usual," Spider's eyes scanned her face knowingly, "You look sick."

Guilt rumbles in her gut, realizing she couldn't exactly hide anything from Spider, the ever-observant kid. She feigns a smile of reassurance, "I just need a bit of sun. It's exhaustion from being stuck in that can for too long."

Norm scowled as he moved to join the group forming around Spider's spot on the cold slab. He wasn't impressed with Kayla trying to lie to the kid and playing off the fact that she was vomiting all her internal organs out mere moments ago, "That 'can' is the exact reason why you look miserable Kayla. That weeks-long stretch of neuro-link that you just pulled was stupid and unhealthy. You should've come back the second after you guys defeated the Sky People. I should've pulled your plug the second I realized you hadn't come back in weeks. You shouldn't be separate from your body for that long or you'll start to deteriorate in that gurney," he reaches out and shoves his pointer finger into her forehead to make sure she got the picture, "This body needs to eat, drink, and move just as much as your avatar or you'll eventually wither."

"Okay. I'm sorry," she bats his finger out of her face, sighing in defeat, "I promise I won't stay away that long again."

"Yeah, and just to make up for your stupidity, I recommend staying here for three weeks."

"What?" Spider exhales, eyes widening in distraught.

Kayla's eyebrows shoot up, "Three weeks?"

"Until the both of you are properly evaluated, rested, and healthy again, you're not going anywhere," Norm sternly ordered, glaring between the woman and teenager. Kayla seems to understand that this is the consequence of her actions and nods in hesitant agreement, while Spider, on the other hand, appears a little defiant.

"But... I want to go back." Spider found himself saying, even shocking himself when he did so.

All eyes turn to him and Kayla is the first to open her mouth, eyes shining with sympathy, "Spider--"

"Hold on, you wanna go back to the reef?" Norm speaks up, his grim expression replaced with a surprised reaction as he stares owlishly at the boy, "Why would you? Jake and his family will come back in time, won't they?"

He turns his attention to Kayla, who shrugs, "As far as I know, they plan on staying in Awa'atlu."

"Do you?" He asked.

"Yes."

"But... Spider--" Norm cracks his neck from the number of times he's looked between Kayla and the teen in question, "You'll be the only human."

Kayla frowns at the implication that Spider would be alone, "I'll keep him safe."

"It's not about that, Kayla," Norm shook his head, "I trust you. We all trust you. It's just... the islands are hundreds of miles away and he's human. The seawater is low on the pH scale and can be acidic if a human is exposed for too long. He can get chemical burns."

Doubt clouds her eyes as she stops to think about this, realizing that she has never thought about it before. She cautiously peers over at the other scientist in the room, "... Max, is this true?"

Max was watching the interaction silently up until this point, and while he shared the same concerns as Norm, he was more optimistic in his explanation, "Only if the pH scale is super low and only if Spider doesn't immediately take precautions after getting out of the water. The Metkayina's tsahik likely has something to treat him with. It's also very likely that the kid is immune to most potentially dangerous Pandoran elements after the amount of exposure over the years. He's got tougher skin than even you do. He might be fine."

"He's still not immune to Pandoran air," Norm counteracts while sternly looking between the other two adults in the room, "He needs his oxygen mask on at all times and has to have several spares on hand should something happen, you know that. He can't eat Pandoran food, and he doesn't have a kuru. He's unable to connect to the land, water, and animals unless he's with a Na'vi at all times."

"And he will be," Kayla confidently replies.

"Does he want that?"

Kayla's eyes narrow back at Spellman, "Ask him yourself."

All eyes return to Spider, and while he doesn't like it when people talk about him as if he's not in the room, he hates when all the attention is turned onto him even more. He lowered his eyes to watch his lap as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world, all the while admitting under his breath, "I want to go back. Kiri, Lo'ak, and Tuk need me. And I need them. Kayla wants to go back, too. She wants to stay with her brother's family."

A thought crosses his mind and his lips turn up into a smirk. He raises his head and knowingly grins at the woman in question as he jokes, "It doesn't hurt that the olo'eyktan and the tsahik show an interest in her."

The room deafens with silence, Kayla's jaw nearly falling to the floor in shock by Spider's boldness. Both Norm and Max glance between the two and each other, interest and surprise forming on both of their faces.

Max voices his interest with a faint, equally teasing smile as he glances over at the only woman in the room, "Oh, really?"

Kayla was trying to figure out when and where Spider made such an assumption, her eyes never leaving his until she realized he did this on purpose to get the attention off of him. Finally finding her words, she screwed up her face and playfully snarled at the teen, "Boy, shut up. That's not true."

"No?" Spider's grin only widens, "So gifting beads and shells for your songcord isn't a form of interest? Or taking you out on a date?"

"It wasn't a date. And I never said Ronal gave me that seashell."

The smugness practically radiated off of Spider as he raised a single, knowing eyebrow, "I never implied Ronal was the one who gave you the seashell."

Realizing she had been caught, she felt heat spreading over her face as she frowned, "Has anyone ever told you you're too smart for your own good?"

Spider laughed as Norm's eyes widened further, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find the right words to describe where his head was at. Instead, he shakes his finger at Kayla before looking back at the teen in front of him, "Okay, we're gonna put a lid on that conversation for just a minute. Spider, you're welcome to choose where you stay, but don't choose on anyone else's behalf but your own."

The amusement falls from Spider's face, looking away to avoid Norm and Max. He was glad he got a choice, but the fact that Norm appeared so hesitant made the teen feel a little angry and betrayed, remembering all the times he didn't have a choice and when he was captured, "Kayla kept looking for me. She actually tried. Where were you?"

Norm's face falls, "We did try, Spider. We really did."

"But we're just a small group of scientists," Max adds, his voice quiet and soothing.

At first, Kayla could tell that Spider didn't look all that convinced, so she came to her friends' aid, "It's true, kiddo. They tried to help me find you. Norm went out searching with me whenever he could after I earned Thena."

Only when he got Kayla's reassurance did Spider relent the anger and betrayal he felt, glancing between the two men he'd known all his life, "Okay, fine. But I know I'll be safe as long as Kayla is there. She's always had my back."

When he spared a glance over in her direction, Kayla looked surprised and touched, a smile threatening to take over her face as her eyes sparkled at him. Spider looked away, but internally he felt himself smile as well.

~~~~~~~~~

A couple of days go by and Max and Jocelyn are tag-teaming to run as many tests as humanly possible to make sure Kayla, her avatar, and Spider are healthy and able to make the long journey back out over the ocean.

Kayla got the diagnosis that she expected. Her human form was weak from the little use of movement, eating, and drinking. Norm was never going to let her live this down as he continued to berate her throughout the duration of her stay. She was given strict instructions to follow a proper diet and exercise, practically forbidden near a link bay until she regained a healthy weight.

Spider, all things considered, is a picture of health. That is... until he mentioned the vivid nightmares he had been having during one of Max's assessments of him. When asked if he wanted Kayla in on this conversation, the teenager caved and accepted, realizing he would rather tell the woman who had his back than the scientists surrounding him. Kayla was summoned and Spider finally talked about the torture he went through at Bridgehead, mentioning the machine they forced him into called a NeuroSect scanner. He described what the scanner did to him, how it spun quickly around his head with blinding lights, making him dizzy and scared. It felt as though it was probing his mind, collecting brain data while Ardmore questioned him about Jake's location. He described how his head throbbed to the point his nose began to bleed, then Quaritch turned the machine off and Spider blacked out for a split second, his eyes having rolled to the back of his head.

Kayla kept her expression neutral, but on the inside, she felt as though she could scream at the top of her lungs, wanting nothing more than to stomp back into Bridgehead and throttle Ardmore until the bitch's own eyes rolled back and her nose bled. See how she liked it.

But instead of giving in to her anger, Kayla gently thanked Spider for trusting her to know this, and he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes as he sheepishly asked, "Just... don't ever tell Kiri, okay?"

After the vivid description of Spider's torture, Max confirmed that the nightmares were probably a lasting symptom of what his brain went through. Once Max had Spider confirm that he wasn't suffering from any more nosebleeds or migraines, Max was relieved as he stated that he should be fine. When Spider asked about the nightmares, Max assured him that with time, they'd go away, and that visibly got Spider to relax.

~~~~~~~~~

The conversation that Kayla was dreading had finally come up one night when Norm had her accompany him over to the edge of High Camp, overlooking the vast drop below them, accentuated by large waterfalls. With both of them wearing breathing masks and carrying lab equipment, Norm instructed her on how to take a sample off of a plant near the edge of the cliff, watching proudly as Kayla didn't even bat an eye as she crouched over the cliff, hovering over the plant in question. He remembered her first day at High Camp and how she was nervous to even be near the edge, knowing there was nothing below to catch her.

As they worked, Norm nonchalantly asked, "So. Tonowari and Ronal have been giving you gifts, huh?"

Kayla groaned, lowering and shaking her head in defiance, "Spider is exaggerating. They brought me to the Spirit Tree so I could visit Neteyam and gave me a shell to add to my songcord."

"Kayla. That's no ordinary gift," Norm scoffed, amused at how naive she sounded, "Na'vi are gifted songcord beads or items when they succeed their Iknimaya or if another Na'vi was trying to court them, otherwise, they collect those items themselves or their parents do before they're old enough."

She stayed silent for a moment, continuing with her task of taking samples of the alien plant. She didn't dare look up to meet her friend's gaze as she finally spoke, "I'm trying not to think about it."

"Why? 'Cause it's too good to be true?"

"No, because I'm not-- I... I'm not..."

"If you're about to say 'not worthy', I'm going to dropkick you off this cliff." Norm threatened with a frown, arms crossed in front of him as he faintly glared down at her.

Kayla finally looked up then, a small smile visible on her lips as she tried not to laugh, "Threatening people is my love language, stay off my territory," she offhandedly commented before she looked out over the vast view of the forest below the floating mountains, her mind as far away as the ocean she couldn't even see but knows it's there, waiting for her, "Even if Ronal and Tonowari were interested, it's a bad idea. What would their people think of their leaders if they shacked up to someone like me? And it's not just their people. What about their kids? Ao'nung and Tsireya are around the same age as Kiri and Lo'ak, not to mention they have a baby sibling on the way. Norm, look at me, do I look like I know anything about children?"

He squints at her as if she grew a second head, "Is that a trick question?"

"Infants," she further reiterates, standing up to semi-meet his height, "Do I look like I know anything about infants? I was the baby of my own family. Even after my parents died, Tommy and Jake raised me. I have never learned how to be a caregiver."

"That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard."

She scoffed at how quick he was to reply, rolling her eyes, "Oh, and you hear a lot of dumb stuff in your profession?"

"Kayla, I was working alongside your brother years before you ever showed up. Your brother was the dumbest thing in the world next to the large group of scientists he surrounded himself with. Up until now, I thought he was gonna die still claiming that title."

She deadpanned at his teasing expression, "You really know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?"

"At least Jake wasn't afraid of getting with a Na'vi. What's stopping you from one-upping him and getting with two?" She snorts at the joke, looking away again as he continues, "And so what if they have kids? You're clearly great with children-- don't deny it," she clamps her mouth shut nearly a second after she opens it.

Norm carried on, "It's not like every first-time parent goes in knowing exactly what they're doing. Who knows. You might have your own kid at this rate."

She squinted her eyes with suspicion as she slowly turned her head back in his direction, "If you're talking about Spider--"

"I'm not this time. I mean, obviously, Spider looks up to you as his guardian, but I was talking about you having your own rugrat with Tonowari and Ronal if you so wish."

Kayla's eyes briefly widen behind the glass of her mask before the shock quickly disappears. Norm felt his whole body grow cold when his friend reacted negatively to the statement, her eyes hardening to something grim and impassive as she crossed her arms and looked back out over the wide open sky,

"It's not possible."

Norm's concern was heard in his voice when she didn't look back at him, "Why not?"

"Because Ardmore made sure that was never a problem," Kayla robotically answered, having memorized what she had been told back at Bridgehead until it was engraved into her mind, "My avatar form was sterilized when they created her in a lab. Ardmore had always been thorough and checked off everything on her potential threat list and she made sure that this was one less thing to worry about."

She didn't see the way Norm's face dropped, eyes widening in horror as the news sunk in. He looked as though he had just been punched in the gut, watching Kayla as she already looked so... defeated, as she had already taken the time to accept this fact about herself. Norm was starting to wonder if she was ever going to tell anyone about this or if she was going to take it to her grave. Either way, he didn't want to squander the trust she had in him if he was truly the first one to know about her secret. He wanted to feel honored that she told him at all, but it didn't exactly feel like a secret worth being proud of.

"Oh. Oh, Kayla--"

"Don't," she sternly replied as she turned back to him with fire in her eyes, "Don't you dare pity me. I knew about it this whole time and I didn't care, so don't pity me when this was a choice that I made."

"Did you though? Did you make that choice or did Ardmore make it for you?" He was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know.

"... At the time I didn't care. Kids weren't a priority for me. I came to Pandora to help Ardmore with her little experiment and in return, I could find Jake's remains to bring them back to Earth. That was it. I didn't want kids."

He caught onto her words and stated bluntly, "You keep using the past tense."

Kayla's eyes lower beneath her mask, "... I don't need a child."

"But you want one?"

"I already have one," she finally declares, now a small smile on her face when she comes to terms with it herself, "I have Spider. I have Lo'ak and the girls."

"... You can have Ao'nung and Tsireya, too. And someday, maybe even Ronal's baby."

She appeared to ponder this for a moment before sighing, "Nevertheless... I have more than enough. I have more family now than I thought I'd ever have back on Earth."

~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks went by a lot faster than both Kayla and Spider could anticipate, and once Max gave Kayla the all-clear to link back to her avatar, both she and the teen she was in charge of were starting to get excited to return to Awa'atlu.

While she had been spending so much time on being healthy and gaining weight, Kayla felt as though she completely neglected some people around High Camp. Apart from Jocelyn, Kayla never got to catch up with Txe'la and Meui and how the three of them have been. Once back in her avatar, she didn't want to miss any more chances and took the two Na'vi men back out hunting like the good old days, and even managed to convince Tarsem to go with them when he was free from olo'eyktan duties.

While hunting, the Omatikaya men were catching Kayla up to speed on recent events. Apparently, there's a resistance camp full of humans who had come to Pandora in the second wave of the Sky People invasion. There was an avatar and even Na'vi living among them, one of whom came to visit the Omatikaya. Tarsem spoke of a Na'vi who was originally born from the Sarentu clan, a clan known for their stories and democracy but had since been wiped out by the Sky People. However, a small handful of Sarentu survived and grew up, now fighting to protect Pandora from the same people who murdered their families.

The Sarentu Tarsem spoke of sounded brave and determined to protect their home, jumping from clan to clan to ensure their alliance. The Sarentu's words moved Tarsem when he spoke to them, explaining to Kayla the importance of seeing a clan believed to be extinct suddenly return to bring the clans together. Kayla was amazed by the story, faintly thinking in the back of her mind how she would have to tell Jake about this.

Another individual Kayla felt as though she was neglecting was Mo'at. After everything the Omatikaya tsahik has done for her, Kayla wished she could somehow return the favor. She had started by mourning Neteyam with the older woman, knowing that the grief was fresh in Mo'at's mind and she shouldn't be left alone with it. Kayla did her best to tell Mo'at how everyone was back across the ocean and how they were thriving among the Metkayina. Once Mo'at was told how Neytiri was struggling, she stomped down her grief and got to work, half listening to Kayla's stories as she worked on her project.

Spider was waiting outside the lab for Kayla when she returned from visiting with the tsahik, the teen casually lying across one of its support beams as she approached, swinging one leg off the edge of it. He kept his face blank while staring down at the avatar form he was far more familiar with than the human one,

"How's Mo'at?"

"A little better," Kayla sighed heavily, "Though she's been working tirelessly on a shawl for Neytiri so that I could bring it back to the island with me."

"A mourning shawl?"

"Not exactly. She knows Neytiri already has one but she wanted something specifically for her daughter... a gift from one grieving mother to another." Kayla didn't miss the way Spider ducked his head at her words, avoiding eye contact, "What's wrong?"

Spider slowly sat up, watching his legs swing down over the side of the support beam as he hesitantly muttered, "I... I know I shouldn't... but I miss Neteyam."

Her heart squeezed painfully at those words, sad to see this child so conflicted over the loss of someone so young, "Why shouldn't you miss him?"

"Because I don't deserve it, especially after I let the one responsible for his death get away."

"Spider, we've been over this--"

"I know. But-- still."

She sighed, looking around before deciding to pull herself up onto the beam and sitting down beside the teen, looking up at the cave's ceiling, "You know... for at least the first week without 'Teyam... I felt the same way."

Spider turned his head to look up at her, "Really? Why?"

"Because I wasn't his parent... or his sibling... I was the estranged aunt who only entered his life a year prior. I wasn't extremely close to him as maybe you and Lo'ak were... so I felt as though I didn't have the right to miss him."

Pain passes through Spider's face as he lowers his head again, "... Neteyam and I weren't close."

"No?"

"I mean... when we were younger, sure, but we haven't been for a while. That's why I didn't feel as though I had the right to mourn him."

"Can I... ask why?" She questioned carefully.

"I want to say it was because he was starting to learn all the responsibilities of olo'eyktan, but I know I would be kidding myself. I think he started to distance himself because he wanted his parents to be proud of him."

Kayla caught the hidden meaning immediately, forcing down a wave of rage, "His mother, you mean."

"... Yes."

"I'm sorry, kiddo," she spoke softly, her hand rising to move a dread out of his face, but immediately placed her hand back down before she gave into that impulse, "If it's any consolation... I know he still cared about you."

She didn't miss the way his chin quivered underneath his mask, his eyes stubbornly staring dead ahead as his vision blurred, "It's not."

"I know."

~~~~~~~~~

Rations, masks, mouthwash...

Kayla was going over the list Max gave her several times over, making sure she had all of these essentials for Spider packed and strapped to Thena's back. There were human drinks, food, medicine, and so much more that even she guiltily forgot about. She was ashamed to think she was ready to let Spider stay in Awa'atlu when the kid actually needed a lot more than the bare essentials she managed to scrounge up for him.

Double-checking her harness and straps, Kayla gently places a hand over Thena's nose before stepping away, joining the crowd that wishes to see her and Spider off. Spider stood beside Max as Mo'at was handing him down some healing properties.

"Koaktutra," the tsahik placed a small wooden cup covered in a matching lid in Spider's hands.

Max noticed Kayla's confusion so he elaborates, "Goblin Thistle. Antibiotic balm."

Mo'at nodded to Max's explanation then handed another small mixture to Spider, "Pxorna'."

"Episoth," Max explained, "It's got amazing skin rejuvenation properties, and I think it'll help Spider when he goes into the water."

He takes the mixture from Spider and holds it up to the teenager's face, "As long as you remember to slather yourself in this stuff every night after a long day of swimming, it should help prevent skin cancer and chemical burns. These salves have proven to be safe for human use, I promise. If I happen to visit the island again and I don't see any changes to your skin, then maybe we'll be able to cut the episoth back to once a week and eventually even less so if your skin grows immunity to the pH levels. Until then, every night, bud. 'You got it?"

Spider huffs and rolls his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I got it."

"Good. And just in case--" Max then holds up a remedy of his own, a small plastic yellow tube that makes Kayla snort with amusement at the sight of it. Sunscreen.

Spider's upper lip twitched at the sight of the tube and half glared at Max, "Seriously?"

"Humor me."

"Fine."

Kayla laughs at their antics and takes the remedies from them, bringing the supplies over to Thena and safely packing them away in their bags. Mo'at takes a moment to place a gentle, withered hand on top of Spider's head and they both exchange a warm smile.

Norm, in his avatar, approached Kayla to help her out and hugged her when they were all set, "I am going to give you a week before I start calling and nagging at you to break your link again, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kayla huffed as she pulled away, unaware of the knowing smile Norm bore as he looked between her and Spider, clearly thinking how similar they already were in words and mannerisms.

"And-- tell Jake everything's okay here. Tell him not to worry."

Kayla smiled then and nods, "Of course. I'll see you in a week."

She moves to say goodbye to Mo'at, the two women gripping each other's arms in departure as they silently speak to one another. Kayla then fistbumps Max and waves to everyone else before gently knocking her knuckle against the glass of Spider's mask,

"You ready?"

"Yeah." Spider grins.

"Alright. Then let's go home."

A/N: I… don't think I have anything to say. I mean, it's a lot all in one chapter so I'm sure there's plenty to say but I can't think of anything ;) stay tuned for more soon!

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illuminatedferret · 3 months

Note

So I've been trying to do a bit of detective work regarding the origin of the "E-ming reopens wounds" translation. TL;DR I think it may have come from an early version of Suika's translation, and is likely a mistranslation.

Most translations I could find online (including Deep Dream translation group, several bootleg novel sites that have stolen Suika or Deep Dream's translations, and a couple of machine translations) have that passage in line with the official translation - that simply, E-ming is dangerous, forging it took a cruel ritual, and touching it would have terrible consequences.

I did however find a pdf containing the webnovel chapters 12-43, with the following:

precisely the excerpt I submitted before. At the top of this pdf is a note:

The link in this note leads to a 404 error, but is one that was shared around a lot before the Sevenseas' official release. I found a tumblr post from 2019 which identifies this link as Suika's (now deleted) translation.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200508224041/https://arahir.tumblr.com/post/188476102230/ok-im-an-anon-who-in-the-past-has-asked-you-how

So, it looks like this is a old document of Suika's, and I can only assume the "reopens wounds" thing was a mistranslation that Suika later corrected.

The TGCF epub I have on hand is an amalgamation of sakhyulations' (up to ch 23) and Suika's (ch 24 and beyond) fan translations. Well, it doesn't actually say it's using Suika's work, but, it does link the source of the ch 24+ translations, that being the above google drive link. I'm not sure who made the epub or when it was made, but they must have taken Suika's work before it had been properly edited.

IIRC this was an epub that was circulating tumblr a while back. I don't know how widespread the "reopens wounds" fanon is, but if it's popular on tumblr, I guess this explains why.

Sorry for such a long ask!! I think that covers almost everything I found. Oh, there was one single bootleg novel site that did have the passage:

"The wounds inflicted by the evil sword of E-Ming are all cursed. Even when the wound is healed, if Hua Cheng wants it, it will bleed once more." Jun Wu answered.

which is slightly different from the above passage from that pdf. But I couldn't find any real source for this translation, so I'm thinking it might just be based on the above passage, with words switched around to disguise the fact it's stolen.

wow!!!! don't apologize for the long ask, this is some awesome digging you did!!! thank you SO much for sharing all your hard work!!

E-ming reopening old wounds being a mistranslation of some sort does make more sense to me than anything else, just because it's so specific and yet the official translation makes no mention of it, but it being from one of Suika's earlier translations is interesting. I'm still curious what the original raws read like. I wonder, considering Xie Lian's arm injury doesn't heal without special medicine, if the raw says something about wounds being slow to heal or not closing, and that's where the mistranslation initially occurred.

'E-ming reopening wounds' isn't a fanon I see discussed much, but I've read more than one fic that uses the idea, and I've mentioned it to friends before in the past without anyone questioning it until recently. So, it coming from an old translation that was probably one of the initial ways people read TGCF makes a LOT of sense- people read it, internalized it, and stopped thinking about it when more accurate translations rolled around, while still keeping the idea in their head.

#illuanswers #the-rad-paramecium #seriously thank you so much for all your work #this has been both fascinating and really illuminating!#....pun not intended

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falcqns · 2 years

Text

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 (𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Wanda Maximoff x variant!teen!daughter!Reader

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in your original reality, you'd lost your mom. your only saving grace was that the multiverse was real, and there was a reality out there where you and your mom were safe and happy, and you were going to find that reality, no matter what it takes.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Dr Strange Multiverse of Madness spoilers, reality shifting but not really, M.O.M. fix it fic, fluff and angst with a happy ending, sorta permashifting, mentions of miscarriage, foster care, me making up a legend/prophecy, murder,

✰ 𝐚/𝐧: thank you for reading! there is a name mentioned, Caelestia, but that is not the reader's name! it's her 'witch' name, like Wanda's with name is the Scarlet Witch, if that makes sense!

to who ever reads this: don't bother asking for a part two, you won't get it. i am the owner of this fic, and this blog, and I, and only I, will decided what fic gets a part two and when. respect me and my wishes or get off my blog. thanks!

don't forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

you looked down at your notebook that held your shifting script. you were slowly losing hope. you'd tried every night for the past 8 months to shift, and you'd been unsuccessful, but you knew you couldn't give up. you needed your mom back, and you were going to get to her, no matter what.

"one more try," you thought to yourself, putting the book down and sliding in bed. you turned on your favourite shifting subliminal, and closed your eyes, trying to focus your breathing, and disconnect from your reality. before you could, however, a colossal boom echoed through your basement apartment, a bright blue light shocking you awake.

you jolted up, looking up at the star shaped portal hole that had opened in your bedroom, a young girl with short brownish black hair wearing a jean jacket with the american flag on it, standing in the middle.

"what the-" you said, sitting bolt upright in bed. "who-who are-" you stuttered, but the girl stepped out of the blue portal and approached you.

"are you Y/N Maximoff?" she asked, and you nodded, too in shock to use your voice. "good. you need to come with me." she said, walking back towards the portal.

you remained on your bed, unable to move. when the other girl realized you weren't moving, she turned to face you. she sighed, seeing you utterly confused. "look," she reasoned. "come with me or don't. i can't make you do anything, but if you don't come with me it's only a matter of time before she comes here." she said, and hearing the desperation in your voice, you stood up, and walked to stand beside her, before following her through the star shaped portal.

your stomach churned as you stepped through the portal, and into what looked like Kamar Taj. the young girl followed you through, and with a loud noise, the portal shut behind her.

"where am i?" you asked, apprehensively.

the girl, who was wearing a jean jacket with what looked like an american flag painted on it, looked at you confused. "Kamar Taj?" she said, but it sounded more like a question. "is there a Kamar Taj in your universe?" she asked.

you nodded. "well, yeah, but it's been long destroyed. where am i?" you asked again, and looked around you. "wait, did you say 'your universe?'" you asked. "am i in a d-"

"different universe? yeah." a deeper voice echoed from behind you, a voice that you remembered.

"Strange?" you said and flipped around, anger growing in your stomach.

"Maximoff. it seems that you know who I am. that makes things considerably easier."

"yeah, we do," you snapped at him, glaring him down, and trying to keep your powers under control. you hadn't quite mastered control yet. you and your mom were working on it until the incident. "you killed my mother." you growled, before remembering that this was a different universe, so different Strange. "or, my universes you killed her."

Strange sighed, looking down. he squeezed his eyes shut, before looking back up at him. "look, kid." he said. "i don't know what happened in your universe, or what I did in that universe, but in this universe, your mother is alive, and well." he said, and you felt your anger disappear instantly.

this was your chance. this was your chance to see your mom again, to live the life the both of you deserve, the life that was ripped from your hands by the man standing in front of you.

"w-what?" you asked, tears welling up in your eyes. "she's alive? can-can i see her?" you stuttered, eyes flicking between the teen and Strange.

"she's on her way," Strange said, but you could sense the hesitation. there was something he wasn't telling you, something important.

you crossed your arms, your eyebrows raising. "what aren't you telling me?" you asked, and Strange cleared his throat, looking down once more.

before either you or Strange could speak again, Wong entered, and finished Strange's sentence for him.

"she's coming here to kill America." Wong stated.

you furrowed your brow, confused. America? your mom was trying to kill the entire continent? while that made sense to you (she'd never fully adjusted to America), it also didn't. your mom wasn't that stupid.

"who's-" you started, before the teen behind you interrupted.

"I'm America."

oh. America is a girl.

'oh shit,' you thought to yourself. 'mama's trying to kill a kid.'

"Wh-" you began to say, but she cut you off.

"she's trying to kill me and take my powers."

you flipped to look at America.

"why? she has her own powers, right? like from HYDRA, from Strucker? powers that look like this?" you said and lifted your hand, forming a small energy ball with your powers.

America's eyes widened, fear forming on her face. "y-yeah, just like that."

you made the energy ball disappear, and dropped your hand. from the look on America's face, she'd clearly had an experience with witches that didn't go well.

"she wants to take America's powers to reunite with her children."

"children?" you interrupted.

"Billy and Tommy," Wong said.

"she had the twins?" you asked, tears rimming in your eyes once more.

"did she not..." Strange asked, but not finishing his question.

you shook your head, blinking rapidly, and swallowing, trying to not cry. "no. she didn't. because you killed her." you said, trying to keep the venom out of your voice, knowing the Strange in front of you didn't take your mom's life. "she was pregnant, with twins. two boys." you said, sniffling as your emotions tried to overflow.

"their names were going to be Billy and Tommy." you whispered, thinking of your younger siblings you only held once, when they were cold and lifeless, and so so small. "and then you killed her. they tried to save the babies, they really tried. but nothing could be done. they weren't far enough along, and as soon as mama's heart stopped, so did theirs."

Strange turned, and ran his hand down his face. he took a deep breath, before turning back, with actual regret in his eyes. "y/n, i am so sorry."

you shook your head. "it's not your apology to give. it was you, but it wasn't you." you explained. you sniffled, wiped your eyes on your sleeve, and forced a fake smile. "it's in the past." you assured, before looking at Wong.

"what do you need me to do?" you asked, and Wong gave you a smile.

"we were hoping your presence would help Wanda come to her senses. she's got the Darkhold, and it is poisoning her mind." he explained. "if we don't get her to stop, it becomes a choice between America, and your mother, and no one should have to make that choice."

you went to answer, before something caught your eyes outside, over the courtyard. you turned your head, and saw a red dot, growing larger in the sky.

"she's here," America said, fear in her voice.

"i'll do what I can." you explained.

"all of this, for a child you met yesterday?" Wanda asked as Stephen slowed to a stop in front of her.

"Wanda, you are justifiably angry," Strange said, as he was face to face with Wanda, hovering high above Kamar Taj. "you've had to make terrible sacrifices."

"I blew a hole through the head of the man I loved." Wanda stated, her voice shaking. "and it meant, nothing. do not speak to me of sacrifice, Stephen Strange." you watched as she moved her hands down, using her powers to move closer to Strange. "if you give me what I want, I will send you to a world where you can be with Christine."

you watched from the ground as Strange backed up. "the full might of Kamar Taj stands against you." he stated, just as Wong instructed the students to take defensive positions. "do not dare to enter these sacred grounds." he stated firmly.

your eyes watered as you saw Wanda. your Mama. she was alive. it may not be the exact same Mama who gave birth to you and raised you, but it was still your Mama. you took a step forward. 'if i could just talk to her,' you thought to yourself. 'even if i can't stay with her, maybe i could change her mind.' but before you could even vocalize those thoughts to Wong, he shook his head.

"not yet. Strange has a plan."

you gave the sorcerer supreme a pleading look. "but Wong if i could just talk to her, i-"

"no, not yet. wait." he said, his head turning from you, back up to Strange and Wanda in the sky.

"you have no idea just how reasonable i've been."

Strange chuckled. "yeah, the Book of the Damned, calling yourself a witch, conjuring creatures to abduct a kid, i don't exactly call that being reasonable."

Wanda half smirked, her eyes still watery. "sending those creatures after her instead of myself was...mercy." she began. "and in spite of your...hypocrisies, and insults, i have begged you to safely get. out. of. my. way." she emphasized, firmly speaking to Strange. "you have exhausted my patience," she continued. "but i do hope you understand, that even now what's about to happen.

"this is me, being reasonable." she finished with a whisper.

"HOLD!" Wong shouted, before looking at you. "go," he said.

"what?" you asked, unsure what he meant.

"go! go to Strange!" he clarified. "the plan!"

you gulped, but nodded, and pointed your hands at the ground. but before you could take flight, Wanda aimed her powers at Strange, and a huge bang echoed through the air as it met the invisible shield.

Strange landed beside you a moment later, shaking his head. "forget it. didn't work."

Wanda flew to the side, and Wong yelled again.

"reinforce the shield!"

you watched as Wanda threw bursts of her powers at Kamar Taj, all of them being deflected by the shield. she aimed once more, but stopped, narrowing her eyes, and trying to enter the students minds.

"she's trying to get into their heads." Strange said, and Wong shouted once more.

"sorcerers, fortify your mind!"

nothing happened for a few moments, until a sorcerer with shoulder length curly hair dropped his shield, and ran in the opposite direction, knocking onto other sorcerers along the way.

the shield began to break up, a butterfly effect from the sorcerer running.

a hole formed in the shield, and Wanda shot her powers through it. the force of it hitting the ground threw you backwards, and into a pillar, knocking you out cold.

when you came to a few moments later, Wanda was still unleashing her anger and power on Kamar Taj. sorcerers were flying left and right, and energy balls were hitting the ground with immense force.

Strange and Wong called for everyone to take cover, just before Wanda landed, a loud boom rippling through the cement below you.

Strange and Wong seemed to forget about you, running inside after the students, but Strange came to his senses and stopped at the door.

"you want the girl, you'll have to go through me." he said.

she opened her mouth to respond, but you interjected, remembering what Wanda had in her possession.

"Mama, stop!" you shouted.

Wanda's head flipped towards you, confusion written on her face.

"y/n, this isn't-" Strange began but you shook your head.

"no, i can do this!" you insisted.

"she could hurt you," he said. "seriously hurt you."

"i have powers too, or did you forget?" you asked, and you felt Wanda's eyes focus in on you.

"who is this?" she demanded.

Stephen took his eyes off of you, and looked back at Wanda.

"answer my question, Stephen." she said, eerily calm.

he sighed, but answered her. "she is your daughter. your daughter from another universe. we thought she could talk you out of this, but you decimated Kamar Taj before-"

"i have a daughter?" Wanda asked, a tear rolling down her face.

Stephen nodded. "yes, Wanda, you do."

Wanda tilted her head to the side. "how does bringing my daughter, from another universe, help me to not leave this one? you brought me someone else's child, and expect me to stop?"

"i lost you." you said. you'd finally pulled yourself to your feet, holding onto the pillar for support. "the Strange from that universe, he killed her. he killed her, and my brothers." you said, sniffling as you were overcome with emotion once more.

"you have two options, Wanda." Stephen said, but Wanda didn't take her eyes off of you. "either leave, or I will be forced to have you meet the same fate as her mother."

"and what of y/n?" Wanda asked, finally turning back to Stephen. "no mother, no brothers, no family. i leave here, what happens to her?"

"that is up to her." Strange replied, looking at you. "it's your choice kid. you can stay, or you can go back."

"i don't have anyone." you said quietly. "no family, no friends. i'm in foster care, and i'm constantly moving around. my belongings consist of a garbage bag full of clothes and books." you explained. "it's not a hard choice." you looked at Wanda. "i want to stay."

"well, there-" Stephen began, but you cut him off.

"if i get to stay with her." you finished, and Stephen looked at you, alarmed.

"no, y/n, you can't."

"why not?" you demanded.

"y/n, she's deranged and dangerous. you know the legend of the Scarlet Witch, it is her destiny to destroy the world."

you chuckled. "what about Caelestia, her daughter? do you know her legend, her prophecy?"

"can't say I have." he responded, and you laughed.

"so you read my mother's prophecy, written by Chthon himself, but you don't bother to read mine?" you asked, amused. typical Strange.

"look, kid, it's not like i have the most recent edition of the Darkhold just lying around to read whenever i please."

before you answered, a whooshing sound was heard, and the Darkhold appeared in front of Wanda. she flipped through the pages, but before she could find what she was looking for, you began to speak.

"Caelestia, first and only daughter of the Scarlet Witch. unbound by factions and invocation, but outcast. Come will the day that her true power will be known, a seed which will not sprout but burst into flame. it shall be then, when the lost scarlet falls away, revealing it's true form, that Caelestia, the exiled one, will bring forth a calm, and a unity." you recited.

"i am meant to be with her, i can see that now." you said. "i never knew what it meant when i was younger, neither did she." you said, looking at Wanda. "i was brought into my world to save her. just as my mother sacrificed her life for mine."

you turned to Wanda, who was looking at you. her head was tilted slightly, and tears rimmed her eyes. "Mama, i know you're hurting, believe me, i do." you said. "i know what it feels like, to remembering holding the boys in your arms, and be painfully reminded that you don't have them. but killing America and taking her powers won't make that pain go away."

"you don't know that."

"i do. what do you think happened to my universes Strange after he killed my mother? do you think i let him walk away?" you asked, walking closer to her. "of course i didn't. he took my mother, he took you, away from me. i wanted him to fix it, to bring her back, but he couldn't. i thought ending his life would make me feel better, but it didn't. it changed nothing."

"but i'm not just killing her."

"i know that, Mama. you're going to take her powers. i did that too; it's not worth it. think of our powers like a book character in a series. when you take another's powers, it's not like when you read a different book, not from that series. it doesn't give you a secondary power that you can switch between whenever you want. it's like reading a book within that original series. the second book in a series makes the main character stronger, their journey stronger. taking another's power gives us just that, more power. it melts and warps that new power into our own, adding it to our existing power. by killing America and taking her power, the only thing that will change is your strength. you won't be able to travel universes like her." you explained, hesitantly making your way towards her.

"but the boys, i-" she said, a tear running down her cheek.

"i lost them too." you said. "hours after i lost you. we've both lost them, but by you walking away, and me being with you, we're fulfilling a prophecy." you explained. you came to a stop in front of her, and looked her in the eyes.

"Mama, i know you. you're hurting. the world hasn't been kind to you. they've treated you like the villain, like an object. but these thoughts inside your head aren't yours. they are the Darkhold's. they are Chthon's. he said you were destined to destroy the world, but you don't have to. by fulfilling my prophecy, we'll be proving yours wrong. proving him wrong. you're a good person, Mama, i know you are. you can be a Mama again." you said, and Wanda sniffled, dropping the Darkhold.

"h-how?" she asked. "i didn't give birth to you, i could never give you what you need, or deserve."

"yes you can," you expressed, meeting her eyes. "you lost your children, i lost my mom. but my mother was you, so i am your daughter, and you are my mother. you, Mama, are all i need. i need my Mama." you whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat. "don't send me back, Mama." you asked, tears flowing from your eyes.

you looked down, and held back the sob that was fighting it's way out of your throat. you felt arms wrap around you, and you head rested on a warm chest.

"never." Wanda whispered. "you're all i need too, i think. i won't send you back. i'll be your Mama."

"Wanda, this isn't like in Westview. she isn't going to age up when it is convenient for you. she is her own person, with her own feelings, personality, and power. this isn't a fantasy, this is real life. are you sure you're ready for that?" Stephen asked, and Wanda looked up at the sorcerer.

"yes. she is my daughter, and i need to protect her." she said. "thank you, for bringing her to me. i don't know what i would have done if she didn't talk sense into me."

"you would have killed me, for starters," America said, from behind Stephen, a smirk on her face.

"i am sorry, America. i know that doesn't make up for what i did, but-"

"no, don't. don't apologize," America said. "there's no need. i lost my mothers too, i know how it feels to lose someone that important. just-" she said. "don't try to kill me again, and we can just forget this ever happened."

Wanda nodded. "agreed." she turned to Wong. "can i take my daughter home now?" she asked, and Wong nodded.

"of course, Miss Maximoff. thank you for making the right decision." he said, and Wanda nodded to you.

"i couldn't have done it if it wasn't for her." she said with a smile.

"i'll work on the lunch box," Strange said from behind you. "and i promise to not kill you." he finished with a smile.

Wanda didn't respond, she just smiled. she turned, and after pressing a kiss to your hair, the two of you were flying into the sunset.

6 months later

you were sat on the floor, trying to undo the knot in your Air Forces. "Блядь," you whispered, before giving up and using your powers to untie them. the laces finally untied, and you were able to slip them onto your feet. you retied them, without double knotting them this time, and stood up. (fuck)

after another glance in the mirror at your outfit, you grabbed your backpack off of the bed, and headed down stairs for breakfast.

you dropped your bag off at the front door, before heading into the kitchen. as you entered the kitchen, you were greeted by a ceramic plate crashing into your head.

"ой!" you exclaimed rubbing your forehead before looking at your mother. "you and your flying saucers," you said, and she looked back at you with a smirk on her face, before walking over. (ouch!)

"i'm sorry, малышка." she said, kissing your forehead. "i had my back turned and didn't hear you come in." (babygirl)

"все в порядке, мама," you said, giving her a smile. "what's for breakfast?" (it's okay, mama)

"your favourite," she said, as you sat down at the table. you smiled, thanked her, and dug in.

(Wanda POV)

Wanda watched as you ate your breakfast eagerly. the both of you had come so far since that day at Kamar Taj. with the help of Stephen, you were enrolled in school, and had fully settled into life on Earth 616. you'd formed a close friendship with America, and to her slight dismay, Peter Parker. you'd helped her immensely. she felt content, and happier than she can ever remember being.

she was a mother. yes, she didn't have her boys, but she had you, her daughter. the daughter who came from another universe to save her, and she thanked the gods every day that Strange and Wong brought you here.

"can America come over after school? we have Kamala's birthday party tonight but Stephen can't pick her up until after the party." you asked from the table, taking a sip of orange juice as you looked down at your phone.

"of course," Wanda replied, with a smile. she had worried that her past would hinder your ability to make friends, but it seemed you had no issues with that, other than the fact that all of your friends seemed to have powers. but, you'd told her that it didn't bother you.

'it just means i don't have to hide who i truly am, Mama,' you'd justified to her, and then let the guilty thoughts go. "are you guys going to be here for dinner?"

you nodded, putting your phone down. you stood up, grabbed your plate, and placed it in the sink. "yeah, the party doesn't start until 7."

Wanda nodded, just as her alarm went off on her own phone.

"дерьмо," Wanda said. "we gotta go, baby, or we're gonna be late." (shit)

you nodded, grabbed your phone off the counter, and followed Wanda into the entryway. the two of you got ready quickly, and you grabbed your backpack.

Wanda looked at your outfit. "are you going to be warm enough in that?" she asked, and you nodded.

"yeah, Mama." you said exasperatedly. she raised her eyebrows, and watched in amusement as you sighed, but opened the closet and grabbed your coat out of it. "but i will take my coat if it makes you happy."

Wanda opened the door, and you walked out. "it does, малышка, thank you." she said, and shut the door behind her. (babygirl)

she shook her head, amused, as she watched you walk towards the car. even when you were sassy, she couldn't be more thankful for you.

#wanda fluff #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #wanda fanfic #wanda x y/n #wanda maximommy #wanda mcu #wanda imagine #scarlet witch #the scarlet witch #wandavision #wanda maximov #wanda maximoff deserves better #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximilf #wanda maximoff x daughter!reader #wanda maximoff x teen!reader #wanda maximoff x child!reader

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streetkid-named-desire · 14 days

Text

Writer's of Night City Tumblr Community!

What started as a Discord server to unite Cyberpunk 2077 fanfic writers, is now also a Tumblr community!

This was created because the Cyberpunk 2077 is such a visual fandom. But, wherever you find visual art, you also find writers. Albeit, in smaller numbers...

Sometimes it can be demoralizing wanting so badly for your work to be seen and you try so hard to remember, "It's a small subset of the fandom, numbers don't matter." And thus, this server and community was born.

As of right now, you cannot use side blogs with Communities. If you have questions or concerns, you can ask or DM @streetkid-named-desire which is my Cyberpunk 2077 side blog.

If you are interested in joining the Discord server as well, DM me!

Reply to this post or DM me if you want an invite!

Rules of this Community

These are the same rules as the server. And, just like the server, I will screen people that ask to join this community to keep Zwei, her sycophants, and other known predators and their enablers.

I am not shy about that, no. I explicitly do what I need to protect the members of the server and this community. If you take issue with that, make your own!

With that being said:

By joining this community, you agree to follow these rules which are subject to change or moderation at my discretion as needed, and agree to any moderation actions that may need to be made for violation of these rules up to and including removing the post or removing you from the community.

No bigotry: Full stop. Zero tolerance policy for any kind of bigotry.

Be nice: You are expected to not start drama in here or be shitty about other people in the community. If you are shitty to people in this community when outside the community and I find out, I will remove you from this community. No shit-stirring allowed.

Constructive crit only when someone asks: As this is an already small subset of the fandom, be nice. Don't like, don't read, etc. If you are looking for constructive criticism, please mention it somewhere in your post!

Keep politics to a minimum: art is political, cyberpunk as a genre is political, but politics are also inescapable, especially when you're of a marginalized identity. Keep it in context e.g. if your work features politics, you want to discuss meaning, etc. We're not here to debate economics, democrats vs republicans, current wars, etc. There are a million other activist spaces and this is not one.

For content warnings: Use common sense and decency. My own work features sexual assault and the genre is filled with sex, drugs and violence. Use common sense: Sexual assault, incest, domestic violence, violence/death against kids, etc.

No AI (defined as art or writing created entirely by a large language model. If all you did was type in a prompt to get the bulk of what "you" wrote? We don't want it.) No exceptions (unless you genuinely couldn't tell it was AI).

Respect established romantic orientations of characters: e.g. Kerry and Johnny being bisexual, Judy being a lesbian. Side-characters or characters where it may be much more fuzzy are okay. Do not argue about this. If you want to argue, take it to your own blog.

Unless this Community grows to become unmanageable, I am the divine ruler of this community. I am too old and have too much to do to worry about internet drama. That doesn't mean I don't care about making this space nice, it means that I prioritize what I want this space to be.

Content Guidelines

As this is a community for fanfiction writers, your posts should be centered around writing. They can include multimedia such as VP, but generally should be around writing.

OC development is also welcome and encouraged. However, that does not includes aesthetic development. We're not gonna discuss mods or review whether this hair color or another looks better. This would be about OC backstories, plans in your fics or AUs, etc.

OK to post:

Original work only: You can reblog into communities, however, it should only be used to reblog your own posts. We want to support each other and that means sharing our own work.

Links to resources: Do not reblog a random post written by some random Tumblr user about grammar rules or what tropes to avoid etc. Quality resources from other places on the internet. *Note: Reblogs from authors, publishers, or other writing app blogs are okay. e.g. Neil Gaiman, Novlr, OTW, etc.

Brainstorms, requests for feedback, etc. If you need to throw shit at a wall and see what sticks, this is the place!

Discussions of lore as it relates to writing: for example, how certain cyberware might be written or changed, fanon, etc.

Gripes about the writing process, personal struggles with writer's block, etc. (Though, try to balance it out with sharing your work/positive posts too!)

Links to templates, lists of prompts (preference given to Cyberpunk 2077 and science fiction prompts), or other creative resources.

Introductions of your OCs: You can share photos, but make sure to actually tell us about them!

Photostories: Use discretion. If it's significant and meaningful, if it has multiple parts, if it is related to your fics or OC development (such as illustrating backstory). It should include captions for dialogue or text explaining/telling the story.

Art/commissioned artwork if it relates to your fanfic or OC development. e.g. if you had a specific scene illustrated or want to write about the symbolism or other details about the artwork.

Your own commission posts: Please tag these as #open for commission and only post once a week if you wish to regularly promote it. Only tag the first post. This is not only to make sure we can easily find the post, but so we also give others fair chances to have their own posts seen.

Not OK to post

Virtual photography not related to introducing an OC, photostories, or fic illustrations. @fereldanwench runs a Cyberpunk 2077 Virtual Photography community I recommend checking out if you want another place to share your VP! You can DM her for an invite or more info.

Ask games unrelated to OC development or fanfic writing. Please tag these with #oc ask game, and check the tag to see if it has already been posted.

Writing unrelated to Cyberpunk 2077: Outside of sharing links to your AO3, this place is focused on Cyberpunk 2077 fanfic. Links to AUs with the same character are okay, within reason. For example, if your same OCs are in a Baldur's Gate AU, you can post the link to the main fic. Please do not post a link to every chapter.

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generalluxun · 10 months

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New ML Fanfiction: In Direct Opposition

I figured I would post the first section of this fic here on Tumblr while announcing it's inception. Future installments will be on AO3(as this one is) which is linked in my profile.

The fic is Alya-centric and begins the morning of Origins. Alya's alarm goes off early, she gets up early, she leaves the house early, and she meets Chloé Bourgeois before anyone else at school. Events quickly clue her in that her new 'friend' is, problematic, but Alya is nothing if not stubborn and takes this as a challenge. The fic will revisit several canon-events from a different point of view and with alterations along the way. However one thing Alya begins to notice ealry... something is altering events as she's experienced them, creating multiple perceptions of the true flow of events. She sets out to find out what this is, while still living through the life of a girl at FDP stuck between Chloe and Marinette, Ladybug and Hawkmoth. Full text below the cut.

Alya Césaire scanned an article about the mayor dedicating a new park, then entered his name into her phone's search engine. She finished the article while stirring more sugar into the remains of her morning coffee then tapped through search results to scan for more info.

Ten years, daughter, wife-Audrey Bourgeois.

Alya stopped at that name. She glanced over the embedded pictures of the mayor's family, then opened a new tab to double check her theory. Yes, it was Audrey Bourgeois, fashion critic. She was often mixed up with the New York heroes in some manner or another. Usually it was some villain seeking revenge. Majestia and Knight Owl had saved her countless times. It seemed like Audrey was really good at inspiring revenge.

Alya finished her coffee, moving on to the next article, search engine open beside her. She was deep into an article about fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste when her sister's voice interrupted her.

"What's all this, sis?" Nora indicated the breakfast array Alya had spread across the table, before grabbing an orange and peeling it.

Alya folded the newspaper and tapped it against her lips. "Well, despite my triple checking, my alarm went off a whole hour early this morning. So I put my extra time to good use. Some for me, and some for you and the twins."

Nora's eyes widened as one part of that sunk in. She froze with an orange slice poised in front of her mouth. "New school? It starts today? As in…?"

Alya couldn't help but grin at her big sister's reaction. "That means the twins are all yours today. Good luck, this breakfast should have them docile for a little while."

As if on cue a sleepy but insistent, "Mama?' and 'sis?' made themselves heard through the apartment.

Alya grabbed one last piece of toast and her bag. "Oops, look at the time. See you when I get back, Nora!" then she fled.

-----------------------

Early up, early out the door, and now early for school. Alya lingered outside, watching the new kids coming and going. It was a little conceit her mother had taught her to make the move easier. ‘You’re not the new kid, honey. You’ve been around since you were born. They’re the new ones. Just give them a chance to show you who they are.’

Alya liked the idea, but it did come with the tricky afterthought. Who do I give a chance to first?

A limousine pulled up to the curb as if on cue. The other students ignored it, and Alya wondered just what kind of school this was. A driver opened the door and out scrambled first a bespectacled ginger haired girl, then a glammed up blonde whose body language immediately set Alya’s hair on end. The tinge of fear just galvanized her though. What good’s a reporter who is scared of the rich? If I can take on this one, I’ve got it made. Her morning dive in the paper had even supplied her with a name to go with the face as she approached.

“You’re Chloé Bourgeois, the mayor’s daughter!”

The Blonde’s head snapped around and sharp-cut sapphire blue eyes regarded her cooly. Alya stood her ground with her best smile in place. Chloé gestured to her, “I don’t know you, do I?”

The ginger was at Chloé’s shoulder in a heartbeat, murmuring near her ear, “No Chloé, you don’t. She doesn’t go here.”

Alya stuck out her hand, bulldozing the social barricade, “Alya Césaire, new student. So, you really are the mayor’s daughter, right? I saw your picture on the mayor’s website while doing my research.”

The other girl was clearly not used to being approached. She regarded the hand as if it might be a weapon, but a few beats later what Alya had said seemed to register and her scowl turned into a delighted smile. “You saw my picture on daddy’s webpage? Was it big? Was it on the front, or was it buried again? Why were you looking me up? I mean, I am interesting, I know, but why specifically? ”

Alya kept up the pressure, recognizing tells. “Well, it just made sense, looking for the important people in town. I’m an independent reporter. While I have you, can I line up an interview?”

It worked. The delighted curiosity morphed into a self-satisfied pleasure on Chloé’s face. She reached out and plucked at Alya’s hand, not a proper shake but a gesture that could be worked with. “An interview? Well, I suppose I could do something like that. Are you very famous back where you come from? You’re not… dressed… very fashionably.”

Fashion! Alya remembered the other little nugget of information and put it to use. She clasped her hands behind herself, squaring her shoulders. “I’m rising in the journalism world.” Not technically a lie, even if I’m very close to the ground right now. “As for fashion, we can’t all be as well versed as Audrey Bourgeois, can we? Anyway the story is supposed to be what stands out, not the reporter.”

A series of reactions danced over Chloé’s supremely-readable face, not all of them positive. Alya filed that away for later. In the end though her smile remained, if slightly more pasted on. “Quite right. Well, it’s a very busy day, new girl. If stories are what you are here for, today is the very first day Adrien Agreste will be attending Francis DuPont. Oh, I know!”

Chloé’s face brightened with childish delight again.

“You can do a joint interview for the both of us. The mayor’s daughter, Chloé Bourgeois, and Adrien Agreste, fashion icon, friends finally united!”

Professional interest joined with her desire to make new friends. Alya nodded with a toothy grin of her own and clenched a fist, “I’ll interview the two of you within an inch of your lives.”

Chloé nodded, “Excellent. Just follow me Césaire. I can see we’ll be good friends.”

--------------------

The school was definitely a change of pace. Alya knew her father’s new job was a lot better, but everything about this school screamed money. There were only a few dozen students in total from what she could tell, and her classroom had seats for twelve at most. She was still taking it in when Chloé stopped beside one of the front desks and held up a hand.

“Wait here. I have some adjustments to make.”

She ascended to the next tier and stopped beside a dejected looking girl who wore her dark hair in pigtails. Chloé said something in a normal tone that Alya couldn’t hear. Alya tried to strain her hearing, snooping being a perfectly valid journalistic activity, and so flinched when Chloé’s voice went from normal to bellow.

“Wake up, Du-Pain-Cheng! You’re sitting in my seat!”

The pigtailed girl jumped, her eyes focused on Chloé and she sighed, “Chloé, this is my seat, this has always been my seat.”

Beside Alya, Sabrina opened her mouth, but then snapped it shut and gave Alya a side-eye. Alya’s hackles rose.

“Not anymore!” Chloé snapped. She thrust a finger at the empty first row seat in front of pigtails. “It’s going to be Adrien’s first day and that’s his seat. Which means you’re sitting in my seat.”

Pigtails seemed resigned, but still questioned, “Who’s Adrien?”

Chloé laughed into the back of her hand. It was not a nice laugh. Alya’s hackles rose further. Chloé leaned in too close to pigtails, “Adrien Agreste! What, have you been living under a rock? Well, no, scratch that. I know you have been. Adrien is only the most famous model in all of Paris, and he’s my best friend. I was the one who had daddy get him enrolled here, so I get to sit beside him.”

Alya’s senses expanded, taking in the room, the reactions, tiny details that mattered in an instant. She stepped up to the pair, “Hey!”

Not just two pairs, but all the eyes in the room swiveled to her.

Alya gestured back to the empty front row desk Sabrina still stood beside. “If it's the proximity you want, this seat makes a lot more sense. No desk in the way, and he’s not facing the wrong way. I mean, I’m new to Paris so I don’t know who he is either, but I’m guessing it’s not the back of his head most people go gaga over.”

Chloe and pigtails exchanged looks. Alya counted to ten in her head to keep from going on, she had to let it stew. Chloé went from confusion to confidence again. “Of course! Up front is where the winners are anyway.” Alya was congratulating herself but Chloé snapped back to pigtails, “Being behind Adrien will remind you that you’re beneath him too, Du-Pain-Cheng.”

Chloé immediately stepped away from pigtails, and Alya considered it a partial victory. Behind her, the other girl wilted with relief. Chloé stopped short when the problem of three girls and two seats became apparent, but this time she had a solution of her own.

“Sabrina! You go up and sit beside Dupain-Cheng. She clearly needs all the help she can get. Don’t let her out of your sight. Cesaire, you stay with me, we can’t have you getting lost on your first day.”

Shuffling took place. Chloé was rattling off information about Adrien Agreste, but Alya was listening with half an ear. She’d been in school for less than thirty minutes and already she sensed she was in the middle of something big.

---------------------------

Lunch was Alya’s first free moment. This Adrien Agreste hadn’t shown up, and Chloé had gone from energetic to reticent as the hours wore on. It was Sabrina, not Chloé, who informed her, “Chloé’s going back to the hotel for lunch. As her best friend , I’m going with her. You stay here, and try not to get into too much trouble.”

It was funny, 35 kilos of awkward girl trying to look intimidating through glasses thicker than Alya’s. Alya made sure not to laugh though, it wouldn’t help anything. Instead she just gave Sabrina the same innocent expression she gave the twins when they were trying to be bossy. “Of course not! I’ll be fine. Go cheer her up. Only a best friend can do that, you know.”

Sabrina’s suspicious look had Alya thinking maybe the other girl saw through her, but she didn’t say anything. She just trotted out after Chloé, who’s ground-eating stride had almost taken her out of the courtyard already.

Alya had a goal this lunch and scanned for her target as soon as she entered the cafeteria. Finding her, she crossed to the table-for-one, and tried a cheerful sing-song. “Heya, pigtails.”

The intensity of the glower she got surprised her. “I have a name you know.”

Alya tried again. “I know, Du-Pain-Cheng, right?”

The glower darkened. Everything about this girl screamed cute and perky, but her expression would have fit a hardened criminal. “It’s Dupain-Cheng. That’s my last name. My friends call me Marinette. You’re Chloé’s friend though, so I guess that doesn’t matter.”

Alya would not be defeated. She helped herself to the seat opposite Marinette. “I’m going to be a friend to lots of people if I can help it. Can I count on you being one of those people? The name’s Alya Césaire, journalist-in-training.”

She stuck her hand out, and just as Chloé had, Marinette eyed it suspiciously.

Alya offered, “I did manage to avoid you having to give up your seat this morning.”

At that, Marinette cautiously extended her hand. “Yeah, why did you do that?”

Alya grabbed it before Marinette could reconsider and gave a solid shake. “Because, as Majestia says, ’All that is necessary for the triumph of evil if for good people to do nothing.’”

Marinette looked thoughtful for a moment, but then shook her head. “Well, you’ve set yourself up with the evilest girl in all of Paris.”

Alya’s own observations has been piling up, and before this morning she would have agreed instantly. However, Alya had already made nice with the blonde girl, and she would not be defeated , even by herself. A new line of thinking presented itself and Alya took hold of it with both hands.

She looked Marinette in the eyes, speaking slowly to convince herself and the other girl at the same time. “No. People aren’t evil. Evil gets inside people. If she’s evil now, then we just have to defeat that evil. That’s what heroes do. They defeat evil and save everyone .”

Marinette looked doubtful, but she slid a beat up box containing a single intact Macaroon amid a lot of mushed crumbs across the table toward Alya. “Well, thank you for what you did this morning, my hero.”

She finished with a smile and Alya smiled back in relief. Alya broke the macaroon in half and offered one piece back to Marinette. “Glad to help. Now, I need you to give me your version of what goes down in this school. A good reporter can’t ever have too many sources.”

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfiction #Alya cesaire #chloé bourgeois #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Sabrina Raincomprix #Miraculous AU #Or is it?#Mystery

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maya--4 · 9 months

Text

Regrets

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Ghost!Gn!Reader

Summary: Ghost finds an actual ghost.

Words: 2053

Warnings: Gore, Reader expresses great distress finding out they died and wants to sleep forever. That's all I can think about but if you run into more tell me. I plan for the other chapters to get much darker so look out for that.

A/N: Part one of my Simon 'Ghost' Riley x actual ghost!reader. I was originally going to write as one big fic but decided chopping it up into pieces would be better. This is not my first fanfic but it is the first one on Tumblr I've ever posted. :)

Also inspired by this fic made by @ceilidho

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It's your room. The little concrete box you've spent the last 6 months in. An ache creeps in from... somewhere you're not sure. Like your body has been fused, all your nerves tangled and rewired. When your hand rests on the wall you feel the sensation of touch throughout your entire body. The room has changed slightly, the bunks are still there but your bed sheets have changed. You have no memory of how you got here.

It takes a minute for everything to return bit by bit, each memory hits you like a brick, all the years of loneliness trying to make friends and trying to win your parent's approval, all the time spent just for a fraction of affection. Then the army, you joined thinking this... this would be the thing that gets your parent's praise. The hollow feeling in your chest feels almost debilitating, the lump in your throat borderline choking. You made a friend, thinking of his name makes your head throb. Remembering anything about him makes you feel ill. Your body trembles, chest heaving frantically but air doesn't fill your lungs. You're not choking like you think you would... It's a dream. It has to be a dream, it would explain the weird sensations. That's a rational explanation for this.

'Just a dream, only a dream.'

The door opens and a man in uniform walks in, he's of a low rank, you don't recognize him as one of your roommates.

'Must have the wrong room.'

Your mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out but you can see him jolt, his head whips around to look at you.

He's completely silent while looking at you. He looks afraid, not the kind of fear you get when someone hides around the corner and jumps out. It's like he's seen a ghost. You try to speak again but you have no breath to speak. He backs out of the room quickly slamming the door on his way out.

You would have flinched at the sound but your attention is focused on something else. The mirror he was standing in front of... You didn't see it before, and when he walked in his frame blocked it.

The face in the mirror is torn, teeth and muscles exposed on one side. The collar of the uniform drenched in blood. Another false inhale and the figure in the mirror moves its hand to its face. You see your hand in your peripheral vision. It's your face, but that can't be real, you're not dead. You were just in the gym. Confusion and denial cloud your thoughts until everything suddenly clicks.

'I died.'

Your hand drops, suddenly to weak to hold it up. The silent scream that is torn out of your throat does little to help all the sudden emotions. The realization makes you want to vomit bile but there is none. This is what you get, after years of neglect and sadness, all the years being forgotten, and the only thing in return that you get is death? The lightbulb flickers before shattering leaving you in the void.

You feel nothing when you knell to the ground and coil up in a ball, sobs wrecking your body. What did you do to deserve an eternity of solitude?

'Why couldn't I just sleep forever? who's sick fucking idea was it to bring me back!?'

Your begs and sobs fall on deaf ears. You come to find out that time moves differently when your dead, not even sure how long you were dead before becoming a ghost. You try to seem non-threatening at first, but part of you dies with every interaction with the living, their fear only furthering your spiral into madness. You hold on to your humanity as long as you can but the passage of time takes everything eventually. Grief and longing morph into animosity, you find yourself lashing out more and more until they abandon the room completely. Turning it into a storage closet, installing an almost blindingly bright light to make you disappear. They rarely come in leaving you in total darkness, the shelves gather dust and cobwebs. It's almost peaceful if not for your thoughts hanging over you, the what-ifs, the jealousy, the regret.

But curling up on the floor and being alone just feels better. Those moments you can forget reality and slip into daydreams are the only things you look forward to.

You can't do that when people are looking.

--------------------------

"You can't be serious Price." Cold seeps into his skin through his jacket where he leans against the wall.

"You're not the only one, they're checking the rooms adjacent to yours too."

'As if that changes anything.'

"Why do I have to pack up and leave? Can't they just do their jobs faster?" His eyes scan the forest just outside the base fencing. The sun has set past the tree line leaving a golden halo over the the tops of them.

"It's only two days Ghost." Price says before taking a drag of his cigar.

"What could they possibly be doing that would take two whole days?" Asking seems futile now, he knows they are checking the walls for structural damage, pipes that run through the walls, and the bathroom making sure everything is still up to code. But does that really take that long?

The captain breathes out, smoke pouring out, amusement written on his face.

"Maintenance."

It's not that he harbors any attachment to his room at the barracks, or anywhere else for that matter. He likes the convenient placement. It's the perfect distance to most of the base amenities and facilities while also not having too much traffic in the hallway. The room he's given temporarily is a different story. It's a long distance from everything, tucked into an old corner of the base. Roughly the same size as his own room but without the bathroom addition. He takes note of the single bed in the middle of the room, the scratches in the floor from moving bunks around, dusty cobwebs clinging to the ceiling, and stains on the walls and floor leave him wondering what soldiers could be doing in here that stains concrete. The metal frame creaks when he sets his bag on top.

"You've got to be fucking joking." He pinches the bridge of his nose, reminding himself he's slept in worse places.

He falls asleep easily when he needs to, so why can't he? Why does he feel on edge? There's no furniture for someone to hide behind, no windows for someone to look through, even the door is locked, but he can still feel someone watching him.

He can't see you, not with the lights off. It should stay that way, just until he leaves. It's odd, they stopped putting people in here since they turned it into a storage room. This guy must be important for them to clear it out and give it to him. You just hope it's not permanent.

He doesn't remember the exact time he falls asleep but it had to be late because he wakes up strained. His hand paws around on the ground for his phone, unplugging it from the wall. Hitting the power button proves to be useless.

'It's dead.'

He plugged it in last night, saw it charging before he layed down. He groans and goes in the general direction of the door to find the light switch in the dark. The light burns shapes into his vision, his eyes screw shut at the sudden blinding light.

'Who thought it was a good idea to put the brightest lightbulb in such a small room?'

The day doesn't get any easier, seems everything decided to go to hell and blow up in his face. A small fire in the kitchen, although not doing much damage means a mountain of paperwork for him later... on top of the paperwork he still has yet to do. He spends his entire day sitting behind a desk. The feeling of being watched doesn't return until he goes back to the room for the second night. The small light of a lamp illuminates the space, made sure to grab it on his way back so he can see in the morning without essentially flashbanging himself.

But it reveals a different problem, the far left corner of the room is darker than the rest. No matter how he moves the lamp closer does it dissipate. It remains a void. He's heard stories, distortions found on security footage, soldiers walking down the hallway in retired uniforms and disappearing around corners, soldiers bleeding out on the ground calling for help, and when medics arrive they've vanished without a trace. Given his name, he's familiar with the concept of 'Ghosts'. If this is one of those cases this one is not corporeal. It has no form, no mouth, most likely the reason he was on edge the night before. Or he's finally lost his mind.

Sleep envelopes him quicker tonight, knowing what had him on edge.

'Just a little shadow.'

He saw you, no doubt about it he stood in front of you, just staring. You can't tell what the hell he's thinking with that fucking mask on.

'Please just leave me alone, I can't handle it...'

The words echo through your head over and over. You truly can't tell that time passes when you are alone. Days, even weeks can pass by in what only feels like a few hours but when people come you can feel every second that passes only brings you closer to hysteria.

Your peace returns when he leaves in the morning. No other furniture has been brought in, which hopefully means that he's not staying permanently. That fucking mask irritates you beyond reason. It could be that you've been left by yourself for so long.

The groan that leaves his throat holds no amusement as he reads the screen of his phone. Price just delivered the news that a pipe in the wall is corroding and needs to be fixed. This means he's stuck with the shadow and creaky bed for another night at least until a qualified repair crew can come to base.

"Should just throw the mattress on the floor." He mutters, pocketing his phone and changing directions, his original plan being thrown out the window as he carries a bundle of unfinished paperwork with him.

He opens the door and flicks the light on, the overhead light illuminating every nook and cranny of the room like a flood light. It's unnecessary in such a small room but the lamp he grabbed is too dim for him to see what he's reading. Almost forgets about the shadow in the corner of the room as he sits down on the bed. The only reminder is a buzzing of his nerves that won't go away. He can feel the begining of a headache starting to form. His eyes trail to the corner involuntarily, like a moth to a flame. It's not visible, but he can still feel it. He manages to pry his eyes away and focus back on his work. Time passes and his headache has doubled. He gives up, choosing to do the work tomorrow and try to sleep off whatever has come over him so quickly.

'That's enough for today.'

He puts the folder down and does one more check to see that his phone is charging and that the handheld lamp is on before standing to turn the main light off. The lamp gives a small glow to the room.

He's not expecting the eyes in the dark, the lamp on the ground highlights the silhouette of the shadow. No longer just a corner devoid of light, the head, shoulders, arms, and legs can be seen albeit blurry. The malicious intent behind its eyes isn't lost on him though. He can feel the pure hate in its eyes, but realistically what can it do, stare him to death? His lip twitches upward into a grin.

He doesn't spare another second thinking about it, checks the lock on the door, and makes his way to the bed. He takes a glance at the shadow. Their head has turned to look down at him. Still pressed into the corner like it was trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

"You don't seem very happy that I'm here, Are you scared of me little shadow?" He regrets speaking. Whatever it is begins to shake violently, still firmly planted in the corner. A low growl turns to a sharp shrill before the lamp light bulb shatters plunging the room into darkness. His ears ring at the sudden shriek.

'Probably shouldn't provoke the shadow.'

#Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader #ghost x reader #mw2 x reader #Maya's fics

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merakiui · 9 months

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Helloooo! My first time participating in one of these ask games, I couldn’t resist!

1. Seaglass! I ADORE the tweels in there, and while I haven’t read it in a whiiile, I love how unsettling and quiet the scenes are! They’re so strange and scary, but I can’t resist reading more and more— but one scene that stuck with me the most was waking up, the way you wrote of the body and the blood and the pain, I ADORE IT!

7. Probably DRU! Before stumbling upon your blog, I’d just gotten through a little obsession with a fic called Bloodlust (on ao3, by a user named F_Smutt_Fitzgerald), and I was head over heels for contrast of calm and chaotic/“savage” (not really sure what to call it), and while Jade doesn’t exactly fit into that little box, the thought of such a calm and composed character having such a side to him blew my mind, and lord I am thankful for it.

9. MOONBROCH (seaglass 2, if my memory isn’t messin with me again)! I’m so ready for it, and jumped to the poll you posted as soon as I saw it on there. Was a bit sad to see it didn’t win, but I’ll wait as long as needed for it 🙏 anything for Moonbroch!

11. More Jamil! Me and a friend love him, and while he shares a bit of similarity to Jade (the j’s strong together hehe), I find that he’s more normal. He certainly isn’t as infamous as the more courteous fish mafia member, and since Azul’s established the livestream was really just a call to Kalim and the likes, his reputation isn’t even ruined. He’s just an outstanding babysitter to the rest of NRC, which leaves much more room for deception and shenanigans >:]

12. Many! One I didn’t expect to read as much as I did was Rollo’s letters in your Lunar Love Hotel event. I don’t really like Rollo’s design (his bowl cut is too funny for me to thirst over him), but how you wrote him was AMAZING. Reignited my love for characters who know what they’re doing is bad, but can’t resist. A tear of morality and desire, which I adore so much!

13. Yes!! I adore your writing, and often talk to some of my writing friends about your works. Originally, I found your blog surfing tumblr with a friend (I’m a born n bred Floyd lover, and you definitely supplied), and have been sharing it with a few friends since!

14. Probably Sugar Dew Sewn Anew. I typically don’t read about Rook or anyone I don’t already like, but I loved how you wrote him and the scene! Unsettling, can’t-quite-place-them characters have my heart, and I love some good ole depiction of artistry and the reader’s artistic process.

I loved filling this out though, thank you for writing and sharing it. Wishing you well, and hope you have a wonderful day today!

(Also, could I be “Lionfish anon”? The floodgates of my mind are opening & I’m hoping to linger in your asks more!)

(ask game)

Hello, Lionfish anon!!! It's so nice to meet you!!! I look forward to hearing more from you!! Please feel free to linger in my inbox to your heart's content hehe!! >w< and please allow me to happily ramble my responses!!!

Sea Glass!!!! Yes, 'quiet' is the perfect way to describe it!!! I wanted to portray this feeling of quiet unrest in the fic. There's a dreadful peacefulness to the beginning scenes, but once the reader becomes entangled in a scheme that has been in the works for years things begin to feel so suffocating!! The tweels are absolute menaces in that fic. I'm glad you could enjoy them and the way I described the murder scene! I wanted to write it in a way that was so visceral you couldn't tear your eyes away. The entire plot came to me when I had the thought: what if Reader was the one who did the killing and the yandere holds that over their head? And thank you for looking forward to Moonbroch!!!! It's definitely going to be a wild sequel. >:)

After reading your ask, I went and binged "Bloodlust" right away and oooooo it did not disappoint! It hurt me in the best ways. >_< reading about Floyd grappling with his own monstrous whims and the desire to either hurt or help Shrimpy... it was so good. The emotions and feelings were written so powerfully. Azul's cover-up scheme... and Jade!!!!! GOSH. T_T the ending left me in horrified awe. Poor Shrimpy... the eels are the worst, aren't they? ;;;; I'm glad that DRU can evoke similar emotions in you!! I also love the contrast of composed and calm with secretly sinister and brutal. Jade fits into that trope so wonderfully!! I love writing about his secret sides as a serial killer. He's terrifying. <3

Oooo yes yes!!! I definitely want to write more for Jamil. The J's are indeed stronger together hehe lol!! Along with your points, I also find that Jamil is far more outwardly trustworthy and reliable. When compared to Octavinelle, whose reputations are all quite iffy, Jamil has this safety about him that makes you more prone to trusting him. I think that makes it easier for him to deceive you. He always downplays his own capabilities. He's really just a servant, or so he says, but the truth is that there is much more to Jamil than meets the eye... There is so much room for lots of devious shenanigans!!! I hope to write it more often!

AAAAA YAAAYY!!! It is my duty to spread the Rollo agenda!!! ( `･ω･´)9 I'm so happy you enjoyed that fic!! Writing in first-person letter format was very fun!! I love it when characters struggle with moral dilemmas and even go through with their terrible actions despite being aware that it's wrong. Rollo is perfect for that sort of character type!! I loved writing him continuously reassuring himself and the reader that he's so patient and logical and righteous when he's actually none of those things and is just a depraved, perverted stalker. I'm also glad you liked 11:11!!!! Rook's character is so perfect for so many yandere tropes, and I wanted to capture just a fraction of his off-putting creepiness. He's so unsettling, especially when written in a setting as isolating as a cabin in the woods. ;;;;

Omg I'm very flattered and honored to know that you have shared my writing!!! T^T <3 thank you for discussing it with others!! I hope to provide more yummy Floyd food for your enjoyment as I am also an avid Floyd enjoyer hehe!! I know I may have written it many times, but I truly am so grateful to read your kind message!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my stories and for always reading and enjoying them!!! I am sending you lots of love and good, happy vibes, lovely Lionfish anon!!!!!!! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚

#sweet messages #lionfish anon

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naranjapetrificada · 1 month

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[Queueing this a few days early because I know I'll forget the day of]

According to the depths of my archived emails, it was a year ago today when when I created this account, which wasn't my first tumblr account but even though I didn't know it yet, it was going to be the first account I ever used with any regularity. I only did it because of the stupid thing where you have to log in to actually see shit, which was something I wanted to do because I needed wanted to read OFMD meta so badly. I didn't realize it, but even creating this account was a sign that this show and its fandom were going to Mean Something New to me.

(behold: an overlong post about what OFMD and being in this fandom have meant to me, despite the horrors and The Horrors™)

I'm not a fandom rookie. I've been in and out of fandom spaces since my early teens, which means decades plural, although I'll further date myself by clarifying that those spaces were forums and, more than anything else, back-in-the-day livejournal (qepd). I've had blorbos since long before we called them that, or even called them "babygirl." As soon as we had internet access at home I was googling my shows and my characters to see what people said about them and discovering the magic of reading and writing fanfic.

I started using this account to lurk and take in people's thoughtful meta, and puzzle over what I called in my head "kylo ren disease" before I learned to call those corners of the fandom the canyon. But what got me to finally post for the first time was after reading too many fics that evoked themes in the show (and my life) that I wasn't ready to deal with until I finally granted myself a space to yell into the void about grief (general existential grief, the grief inherent in Stede and Ed finding each other relatively late in life, the grief of not being able to become who you are because society has no room for your authentic self, etc). Seriously, every original post I made for the first several weeks I was here was about grief, to the point of needing a dedicated hashtag.

It took me some time yelling into what turned out to not be a void (because people wanted to hear what I had to say?) before I realized another thing I was grieving: writing. I have tremendous baggage around writing, in ways that other "gifted" kids will immediately understand. But suddenly I could write again, hold shit! I wrote lots of meta, until the feelings I had about everything boiled over into a shortish fic because I literally couldn't find anywhere else to put them.

This was the first time I felt compelled to write my own fic in over a decade, and the first time in around that same amount of time that I could stomach writing fiction at all. Then I wrote another. And another. I often describe these shorter fics as having been written by "the poetry part of my brain," which is shorthand for being centered around an image or two that I couldn't stop thinking about, not really needing plot, and perhaps most importantly, self-contained in a way that allowed me to use them as tools to process an emotion and then put it in a box like season 2 Frenchie.

I love and value those fics, the way you can love and value something that helped you but that you no longer have a strong attachment to. That I can look at them now and see beauty in fiction I wrote without my aforementioned writing baggage causing a problem is a testament to how important they were for me. But then I started thinking I might want to write a longfic, and when the idea didn't go away after a few month I decided fuck, I guess I'm doing it? And I am doing it, and that is huge, and when (not if, when) I finish it will be the longest piece of fiction and one of the longest pieces of writing I've ever completed.

I'm actually writing longform fiction, something I've attempted to do my entire life but that never felt possible. And not only does it feel possible, it feels important (to me at least) and necessary and vital. That's the way writing used to feel before, well, *gestures at previous two decades* and being given that back is truly a kind of gift. And yeah that's a gift that the source material have me, but it was also a gift from all of you who are out there reading and writing and commenting and painting and literally ever other form of participating in a fandom that it's possible to do. It's a gift that has allowed me to reclaim huge parts of myself and my personal narrative in ways that are truly therapeutic (which my therapist, a former art therapist, has endured me talking about at length). It's a gift I'm going to be grateful for forever, and I'm just so thankful to all of you for it. And I'll even still be thankful for it the next time I'm forced to behold whatever new cursed take has popped up in the tags.

I think. Definitely probably. It's just the cost of doing business.

#ofmd #fandom meta #thrilled to be granted entry #our flag means death #fic writing #writing process #go ahead and grieve yourself #disenfranchised loss #disenfranchised grief #ofmd meta

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yujo-nishimura · 6 months

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"Told you so..." - Part 7

This is a private ongoing fic just for me and @lostfirefly

Since tumblr doesn't let me post it privately I need to share it publicly, but feel free to scroll through the content, since this is just for our own amusement. ;)

Buggy's expression revealed his deep concern as he gazed at Helga. He leaned in, trying to keep their conversation private by pushing her behind the nearby pillar, shielding them from Crocodile and the girl at his side. "Sweety pie, I understand the appeal of their abilities, but we must think about this carefully," Buggy whispered urgently, his voice tinged with unease. "We're dealing with Crocodile here, and he's not someone we can trust under any circumstances."

Helga met Buggy's worried gaze with a mixture of frustration and worry. "But what other options do we have?" she countered, her voice filled with a sense of urgency. "We don't even know where our underwater escape route is. Maybe Crocodile can help us with that." Buggy's grip tightened on Helga's shoulders as he tried to remind her of their original plan. "Yes, but we can't forget that it was your idea to come down here in the first place. We still have that option if we can find it." Before Buggy could say more, Helga abruptly stood up and made her way back to the cell where Crocodile and the girl were waiting, leaving Buggy bewildered behind the pillar.

Crocodile, despite the gravity of their situation, maintained an air of amusement as he addressed the couple. "So, have you two lovebirds reached a decision?" he asked, his laughter lacing his words. "We came down here because we believed there was an underwater passage leading to Marineford. Do either of you know anything about this?" Helga asked eagerly, her anticipation palpable. "That's just a myth," Yujo replied, her voice now quieter as Crocodile released his hold on her. She stood a few meters away from him, her gaze meeting Helga's directly. "You probably read the Navy Chronicles, right?" Helga's eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, how did you know?" "I read it too," Yujo explained. "But it's all fake. The author wasn't even a marine. It was written by a creative pirate looking to make some extra money. So, the underground passage doesn't exist. The only way out of here is through the main entrance."

Buggy, who had been listening intently, reacted with a mix of anger and astonishment. "What? The underground passage isn't real? So, we have to go all the way back up, even after coming this far down?" He detached and reattached his body parts in frustration. "Well, it's good that you ended up down here," Yujo remarked. "As we mentioned earlier, if you free us, we can guide you out of this place." Buggy's gaze sharpened as he scrutinized the girl behind the bars. Trust didn't come easily to him, not just with Crocodile but also with this young and aggressive lady. He couldn't help but voice his doubts. "And who exactly are you again?" "My name is Yujo, captain of the Aqua Pirates. I have the power to control water. Out there, in these sea king-infested waters, my abilities could be very valuable," Yujo introduced herself, winking at Helga, hoping she understood the potential benefits they could gain from her powers. "One moment, please!" Buggy requested, pulling Helga back behind the pillar once again, as if replaying a scene from a poorly scripted movie. He sought her opinion, hoping to find a solution in private.

Helga took advantage of the moment and smiled mischievously, swiftly grabbing Buggy's face and planting a gentle kiss on his lips. As the kiss ended, Buggy stared at her in surprise. "Sorry!" she exclaimed, her smile still lingering. "I just felt like it. And now that you've met my needs, I can tell you that I still think we should free them." Buggy sighed, torn between frustration and affection for Helga. "You're the worst, and I hate how much I love you," he grumbled. "Take this situation seriously!" Helga wrapped her arms around him, looking into his eyes with earnestness. "Buggy, she's a water Logia user, and Crocodile has control over sand. They've paired them together so they can't harm each other. And at worst, they can neutralize each other while we make our escape. We should give it a try."

Buggy regarded Helga for a moment, his gaze softening. Her logic was sound, and he knew it. Reluctantly, he nodded. "Alright, let's do it. But we'll keep our guard up and make sure they stick to their word." She nodded at him and quickly pressed another kiss on his lips which he eagerly replied. “I am so going to ruin you when we get out of here, I promise that, sweet cheeks!”, he whispered in her ear and then stepped back in front of the cell where Crocodile and Yujo were eagerly waiting.

"You can join us, but no tricks, and you'll be responsible for getting us out of here," Buggy stated firmly, his gaze fixed on Crocodile. "Escape is our intention as well, so that shouldn't be a problem," Crocodile responded in a dry tone. And then he added: "Retrieve the key from the guard you knocked over earlier. We need to act swiftly before he regains consciousness." "Already on it!" Helga exclaimed triumphantly, having swiftly obtained the key while Buggy was engaged in conversation. She shot her captain a victorious smile, basking in her own heroism. "You're the best, honey!" Buggy shouted in admiration, while Crocodile simply rolled his eyes.

Yujo, giving Crocodile a glance from the side, asked, "Do you think we can tolerate each other until we make it all the way up?" Crocodile smirked and replied, "Well, as long as neither of us starts behaving like them," indicating Buggy and Helga. At that very moment, the cell door silently clicked open. Yujo's green eyes sparkled as she leaped out of the cell, standing before their two helpers. Her hand transformed into water, reveling in the return of her full powers. Crocodile followed suit, subtly nodding at Helga as a gesture of gratitude. "Let's go to that chamber over there." Crocodile demanded, his tone leaving no room for negotiation. "What's in there?" Buggy questioned, suspicion coloring his words, wary of any attempts by the warlord to buy time. "My coat and my cigars. They confiscated all our belongings upon arrival, and they keep them in there," Crocodile explained. "My clothes!" Yujo chimed in, her excitement evident as she followed Crocodile towards the designated chamber.

"Hey, didn't you say you were going to guide us out of here?" Buggy complained, shaking his fist at Crocodile. The former warlord turned around, his gaze icy and his voice resonating in the prison's darkness. "Stop giving me commands, clown. We will escape when I am ready!" In that moment, an alarm blared and an announcement echoed through the halls: "Red alert! Two logia-type prisoners have escaped. I repeat, red alert!"

Yujo extended her arm, water shooting from her hand like a pistol, crushing the door under the immense pressure. "Not bad!," Helga admitted, impressed by Yujo's abilities. Inside the chamber, they found an assortment of weapons, rations, and clothes belonging to the prisoners on that level. Crocodile smiled and entered the room with Yujo. "Look at you, missy. You can fight as soon as you stop crying and whining." Yujo swiftly gathered her clothes and bag, which had been confiscated upon her arrival. Meanwhile, Crocodile searched for his coveted cigars. "I had no chance against you in the cell. But you should never underestimate me," Yujo declared, placing her belongings into her backpack. Crocodile grinned slyly at her. "Oh, I never did. I actually like the new “wet” you just as much as I loved the crying one."

#buggytheclown #one piece #sir crocodile one piece #friends on tumblr #yujowriting

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genavere · 11 months

Note

I'm honestly not sure how you could have missed the fact that ravewood was a reposter? People have talked about it extensively, and the art they reposted never matched their url. If you need me to do the labour for you, https://www.tumblr.com/genavere/724723129006604288?source=share here's your most recent offense. https://www.tumblr.com/54prowl/696176793830506496/a-couple-of-things-i-check-to-know-if-the-person?source=share Here's a guide to take notes from, because the post I linked here has so many blatant signs of reposting that it's laughable. Also it doesn't stop being art theft just because it's funny. If you're reblogging stolen work just because it makes you and other people happy, that's still art theft and it's still morally wrong. If your fics that you worked hard on were reposted without credit, I'm sure you wouldn't be too delighted with that. I've given you the resources so please do better.

"If you need me to do the labour for you, https://www.tumblr.com/genavere/724723129006604288?source=share here's your most recent offense."

Remember how I said there was one that I was questionable on? Yeah, that was the one. It's has now been deleted. After you politely informed me it was indeed the one, I did a google search, couldn't find the original artist to credit, so I deleted it.

Did I do my diligence on it? No. Why? It was posted in 2020 and I didn't do a deep dive of the blog. I don't check every account.

"I'm honestly not sure how you could have missed the fact that ravewood was a reposter? People have talked about it extensively, and the art they reposted never matched their url."

Ravewood was one of the first users I came across when I came back to tumblr last year and was looking for Fairy Tail content. After being on the platform again for a couple of months and getting my toes wet, that's when I took off my rose-colored glasses and realized what they were.

At that point in time, I knew no one in the fandom and was hungry.

An important note about people on the internet: Not everyone is in the loop, not everyone is in social circles, and not everyone sees the warning posts right away, either.

Is it an excuse? Yes, and I acknowledge that and the mistakes I've made.

So, now that you have schooled me, thank you for doing the labor for me.

Here is also somethings from that blog you recommended, along with the link for anyone interested:

"Also it doesn't stop being art theft just because it's funny. If you're reblogging stolen work just because it makes you and other people happy, that's still art theft and it's still morally wrong."

Regarding when what I meant by making people happy: it's the memes.

Check out this funny video that I reblogged:

It was great fun watching that. The poor guy that is shaking, I felt sooo bad for him.

How about this one about the grandson of Ulysses S. Grant writing gay vampire fiction:

Lovely information about a gentleman who has defied social norms and prejudice to be with his husband for so long and to write what he is passionate about.

"...because the post I linked here has so many blatant signs of reposting that it's laughable." "Please be more careful when you're reblogging fan art. On more than one occassion you've reblogged stolen fan art which gets spread around even more and that's so unfair to the artists."

If your original message had said: "Hey, this one [link] that you reblogged is stolen, would you mind taking it down or crediting the artist?"

I would have been like: "Oh shoot, sorry about that! Thank you for letting me know!" and taken it down. Would have been appreciative, even.

But you weren't.

Right out of the gate, you were standoffish. The tone felt like you said your piece and were not willing to have a conversation. Not willing to be helpful in letting me know which of the many stolen fanarts you accused me of.

That tone carries through into this ask.

Do I usually try to make sure I reblog credited art? Yes, and as I learn more about how things should be, like trying to attach the original tags the person put, I adapt.

Do I always catch everything? No, cause I am human and sometimes you just can't do better.

"If your fics that you worked hard on were reposted without credit, I'm sure you wouldn't be too delighted with that."

Would I be happy if my fics were reposted without credit? No, cause I would like to know what people think of them and I would not be able to see if they enjoyed them or thought they were trash.

Has this happened? Yes, and with original works, too. Happened to a book that I had self-published, which meant potential lost revenue.

Would I blame someone who reblogged from someone else it if I found out? No. I would let them know that it had been reposted without my consent and ask if they could edit their post to give credit, or take it down and reblog mine.

"I've given you the resources so please do better."

You did give me a resource, which I appreciate.

But, please note, that you could do better, too. Kindness goes a long way, and is a far better teaching tool.

On a last note, how about this one I also reblogged:

#ask answered #anon ask answered #anon #anonymous #anon ask #stolen work #stolen work resource #Is this petty?#The last one is for sure #Spent WAY too much time on this #Should I go back to sleep?#I dunno #Oh well #I guess this shows my passive aggressive side a bit #Pretty sure that Inuyasha pic made everything I said above about kindness null and void

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sweetfirebird · 1 year

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Multifandom fic recs!

I mentioned doing a fic recs list the other day, and since I couldn't work on my needlepoint for a while (in which I feel like Mr. Thorton's mother doing her linen embroidering in North & South), I actually did one.

This is a multifandom recs list because it was more fun to just skim through various fandom bookmarks than to do a concentrated list for one show or whatever. Also.. some of these are for fandoms I read in and some are just fics I stumbled across one day, so they could be representative of their fandoms or not I have no idea. {insert shrug emoji here}

These are also all m/m and I think.... fairly cis? I did consider doing some f/f and trans and Rules 63 stuff but uh my bookmarks are a mess. The only fandom where I set aside some genderfuckery aside in any sort of organized fashion is Les Mis with Rule 63 stuff which maybe should get its own post. ? If people wanted?

Anyway, read the tags for each story, etc

Recs across the starboard bow, captain!

Star Wars Rogue One

waaay before the movie. I've recced this before. Chirrut/Baze

A Monk in Good Standing (Must Be in Need of a Bro)

The Eagle

Marcus/Esca

What Big Hands You Have

modern au, Esca is a size queen

From the Depths of His Heart

Canon-era werewolf AU

Póga

Canon-era Esca teaches Marcus to kiss slow

Devotee

Canon-era gay farmers with some yearning

The Losers

Jensen/Cougar

The First Eight Don't Count

Jensen is a cat sometimes. Like a house cat. Yeah it’s weird for him too.

By Daybreak We'll Be Gone

werewolf AU (sensing a recurring trope here lol)

Inception

(Obv Arthur/Eames.)

Breaking and Entering

Jeeves and Wooster

Misplaced

Bertie has lost something

Voltron (the… whatever the new cartoon’s subtitle was. Legendary Defender?)

(I know that fandom is a hotbed of strife) but I am not/was not involved in any of that. Yikes.)

the electric synthesized pop ballad of why keith can’t have nice things

a/b/o au... but like... he just wants to be good

The Vorkosigan Saga

This is Ivan/Byerly because that is the only ship that matters

Twenty-Year Man

Ivan's getting older and having some realizations despite himself. Also... side note but... carefully and cynically yearning Byerly is a delight.

Original, historical

Darling and the Cinderella Club

Teen Wolf --HOWEVER! These are all Teen Wolf/SGA fusion

Why? Because the space marine vibes are impeccable

All Sterek

Show You What All That Howl is For

The Ring of the Ancestors is Not a Euphemism

Faint is a Medical Term

What We Do in the Shadows

Something Here Will Eventually Have to Explode

Guillermo/Nandor

Venom

Venom/Eddie, obviously

Heartthrob

Good Omens

Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy

Get Religion Quick (cause you're looking divine)

The Hobbit

all Bilbo/Thorin

Rations

pre-adventure sexual tension

The Subways of Men

modern au, but still with hobbits and dwarves

okay and then because idk I just love them finding each other after things

Plant Your Trees

It's Been a Long Day Without You, My Friend

(slight au)

And then one just to be sad

Hold Onto Hope If You've Got It

Les Mis

Enjolras/Grantaire because I am basic aw yeah

The Laurels of Doing is Enough

modern AU

True Love's Kiss

modern AU but with magic

Adequate

The first in a small Star Trek AU series that is cute

A Reversal of Celestial Mechanics

Canon-era, Enjolras takes Grantaire up on his offers… offers Grantaire didn’t realize he was making lol

There is one where Grantaire is fucking Courf while they both discuss/hint at his feelings for Enjolras but I cannot begin to express the chaos of my bookmarks so.... couldn't find it.

And finally...

Check, Please

Dex/Nursey

Bless This Mess and Call It a Home

Magic AU

The Most Room in Our Hearts

Dex sees Nursey holding some kids and gets Feelings about it

(there is a small nurseydex commentfic with sort of a similar bent but like so many things, it was posted to tumblr then deleted so is now lost forever.)

ok this one is uhhh read the notes and tags. It is known to me and @vashti-lives as the one we don’t talk about aka the 1950s coal miners AU

Strange Lovers

And to finish up, a Ransom/Holster kink/getting together fic that was actually the first thing I read for this fandom.

When You Got Skin in the Game (you stay in the game)

I will post this to pillowfort too but I need to stop and eat first.

#fic recs #teen wolf #les mis #rogue one #check please #jeeves and wooster #original #the vorkosigan saga #the hobbit #the losers

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whereismymindnow · 1 year

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Twin Hearts Chapter 4

Author's Note: A little flashback to how Pia was daggered. The twins have a small squabble. xD

Oh, and please don’t comment about her being daggered. This whole fic came from a dream I had and so the idea of her being daggered may not suit some people, but witchcraft can do weird and wonderful things. So don’t take it personally if you disagree with this (as some people did, quite rudely, previously) as I literally had zero ideas apart from her waking up to start with and this is the best I can come up with. Thank you! Hope you enjoy this update.

Now I’m going to disappear just as quickly as I arrived before you start throwing things at me for length of time in between chapter updates… I swear, one day I shall catch up and give you frequent updates.

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Twin!Original Female Character

Warnings: 18+ due to mature, darker themes. Twincest. Smut. Strong language. Death. Miscarriage. Murder. Vampire/Hybrid violence. Please read responsibly.

If this work is found anywhere other than Tumblr (@whereismymindnow) or Archive of Our Own (Mikki19) then it has been posted without my permission.

Twin Hearts Masterlist

---

Chapter 4: Daggered

"I cannot give up! Our very nature has been taken from us! How can I stop when I am so close to breaking the curse?" Elijah heaved out a sigh as he heard Niklaus' angry shout fill the house. He moved to stand at the top of the stairs and watched as the twins fought... again. Pia launched a vase at her brother with a hiss.

"It is breaking you! I don't even recognise you anymore! You are not the other half of my heart." Both siblings flinched and rubbed at their chests, but neither would back down. Pia was exhausted by the drama that the doppelganger had brought to the house, and Klaus was so close to realising his destiny that he couldn't stop. He didn't understand why his twin wasn't as passionate as he was about this.

"I am still the man you love, but I want to be more. We are meant to be the Original Hybrids. We were born to be unstoppable. I will not let a foolish human girl get in the way of that!"

"A foolish human girl? Ha! Do not forget that I saw the way you looked at her. It was like watching you fawn over Tatia all over again!" Pia spat out in disgust. She had tried to be friends with Katerina. Hell, she had even had a dress made especially for the girl, but it had ended the same way as it had centuries ago. The little brunette had taken one look at her brothers and tried to make it a game. Pia wanted to find her just so that she could have the pleasure of staining Kit’s perfect olive skin red with blood.

"I had to keep her here! You saw how she was. Flirting and playing games are the only things she knows how to do properly." Pia took a step back and shook her head in disbelief.

"How can you not understand that that is how it began with Tatia?! You and Elijah made it a point to play with the girl, and now we are cursed by her! Once again the silly doppelganger bitch has the upperhand!" Her shoulders dropped as she found her anger could no longer mask her hurt. This was too much. All too much. "If you wish to chase her and destroy everything she holds dear, then so be it... but do not expect me to just idly wait for you to be satisfied. I will not have a part in this." Klaus vamped over to his sister and held her by her upper arms.

"We are so close. We have felt broken for so long. We have felt our wolves howl and claw at our skin every full moon as they beg to break free... Why are you asking me to stop now?"

"Because you have gone mad with your need to break the curse. Every day you are so angry and hateful. The only time I have seen you smile this month was because she was under our roof. If breaking the curse means that we have to become this fractured, then I no longer wish to do it."

"...w- we have waited centuries..." Klaus muttered as he stared at his twin in disbelief. Pia exhaled and brought a shaking hand to cup his cheek.

"I am not stopping you. I just can't stand by and watch it destroy you. I refuse to have my life revolve around that girl for a moment longer. Find her if you must but you will find me gone before you return.”

“I am doing this for us!” Neither of them were backing down this time. The twins had had fights before, but the fury that floated in the air was thick like fog. Rebekah had left to go to the library in order of find a bit of quiet, but her ears picked up on each angry word and she found herself standing at the top of the stairs, watching in case one of her siblings did something foolish. Niklaus was beginning to reach the end of his patience with Pia; his rage taking over and clouding his judgement. He just didn’t understand why she wanted him to stop. He was doing this for them both! “You keep talking like we’re so different!”

Pia shook her head in response and let out a bitter laugh. “We are! You have become so cruel and malicious since you found out about Katerina's change. Forget about her! Another doppelganger will be created so that we can break the curse.”

“I want to make her pay for her actions.” He grit his teeth as Pia once again tried to turn her back on him.

“I know that, but don’t you see what is happening? You are losing your mind. You are becoming some kind of monster that I do not even recognise anymore!”

“YOU ARE JUST AS BROKEN AS ME!” His roar echoed through the manor as his grip tightened on his twin’s arms; Pia began to wince and bite her lip as her bones started to crumble beneath his hands, not that he noticed as he was blinded by his rage. So, Pia decided to tell him the truth. He needed to hear the truth for once. She was sick of lying and trying to make him feel better about everything he does.

“This obsession is turning you into Mikael! You are becoming like the person you hate!” Pia didn’t have a chance to recognise the relief of his grip being removed from her arms as she flew through the air and her head met the wall behind her. A loud crack rang out through the room as her skull hit the hard surface. She was dazed for a few moments before her wound repaired itself and she stood once again. “Just let the Petrova girl go!” Rebekah covered her mouth with her hand and stepped down a few stairs to get closer to them, but Elijah quickly grabbed her by the shoulder to stop her from getting closer. They both knew that this was becoming a little more intense than the twins’ previous fights.

“She has taken away our one chance of becoming unstoppable. She has taken away our chance of being whole!”

“So?! Aren’t you content as you are now? You have all of your family surrounding you but you are still blinded by your hatred!”

“I want vengeance!” It was those three words that broke her. She was exhausted and didn’t care to repeat herself another time. Pia’s shoulders dropped as she shook her head at the state of her beloved.

“I can’t do this anymore, Niko… I’m hurting, but you don’t seem to care.” Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to regain her emotions. She was so sick of crying, but she couldn’t let her anger get the better of her either. The servants within the house were still skittish from the last time she slaughtered five of them in one of her rages. Pia took a deep breath and cleared her throat. If she were human still, then she would have complained about a headache by now. “I’ve had enough.” The thought of her trying to leave was all it took for Niklaus’ fury to boil over. He flashed forward and gripped either side of her head.

“You can’t leave me.” He hissed in Pia’s ear before wrenching his hands backwards and snapping her neck. Niklaus caught her limp form as she crumbled to the floor.

“No!” Rebekah vamped down the stairs and stared at her brother as he cradled Pia’s body in his arms. “You’ve hurt her again. Do you even understand what you are doing?” She quickly walked forward in an effort to grab her sister’s body but in seconds found herself hitting the wall opposite her.

“You will not take her from me, Rebekah. She is mine.” Niklaus stood in front of his twin’s form and bared his fangs at his sister. The youngest Mikaelson knew better than to try and fight her brother when his Alpha male side revealed itself; she slowly stood and straightened out the bottom of her dress before making eye contact with Niklaus.

“Nik, I just wanted to lay her down upstairs. She would not want to wake upon the hard floor, would she?” Rebekah waited a few moments and then steadily moved forwards. Niklaus let out a growl when he felt that she had overstepped an invisible boundary.

“I will take her.” He kept a close eye on his sibling and knelt down next to his twin. His eyes flickered between the two girls as he gently wrapped his other half in his arms. “Do not touch her.” Rebekah nodded as his growls continued to permeate through the air each time he felt her get too near as they walked to the chambers that Pia resided in; she mostly shared a room with Nik, but their recent fighting had made her seek solace in a separate chamber to his. Elijah followed at a distance, sharing a tight-lipped smile with Rebekah.

The family were used to this strange situation by now; for centuries the pair of them would have their moments in which their pack instincts would show and they would stake their claim on the other. It was always in moments of madness, their wolves would shine through and ensure that anyone nearby understood that they belonged to each other.

With as much as care as he could manage, Niklaus gently placed Pia onto her bedsheets and stroked the side of her face. He felt Elijah’s presence enter the room and looked up. For some reason when Pia had requested her own chambers, she had picked the ones that had been closest to Elijah’s. Perhaps she thought she would be safer since he listened to Elijah more than anyone else, Niklaus pondered as he felt the burning glare coming from his older brother.

“Leave, Niklaus. You have done enough.” Elijah stepped aside and waited for the room to be vacated before quietly shutting the door. “I heard your fight-”

“I think the whole world heard them.” Rebekah remarked sarcastically.

“-and you need to be careful, brother. Do you wish for Pia to hate you rather than love you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then contemplate this: are you prepared to lose her because of Katerina? You will destroy her slowly if you carry on along this path.” He gave one last look at his brother before offering his arm to Rebekah and leading her back to the library.

Niklaus watched after his siblings and made up his mind. He knew exactly how to overcome this.

----

“Are you sure that this shall work? I will not accept failure.” Klaus’ blue eyes bore into the witch before him.

“Yes, Master. The blood in your veins runs through Mistress Pia’s as well. You are twins; you are mates. Your hearts are one and the same.” Thalia ran her fingers over the edge of the knife before looking back up at her master. “I believe that I can overpower the magic of the blade and ensure that you can put Mistress into a deep sleep. I just need your blood to finish the spell.”

“If this harms her in anyway… well, I don’t believe I need to finish that sentence.” Klaus took the blade from the witch and raised his brow as she started to speak again.

“Master, you must trust me. I would do nothing to hurt Mistress Pia. She was the one that rescued me when I was about to be put to death. I owe her my life.” Thalia placed her hand over her heart and bent her head forwards in a show of obedience.

“Indeed. You have until the end of the night to complete the spell. I want to be able to subdue her whilst she sleeps… I do not wish for her to be scared when it happens.” Niklaus ran his gaze over the grimoire in front of him and sighed. “She must be daggered before she has a chance to flee. She cannot abandon me.” He muttered to himself before sending another glance at the witch and running the blade over his arm. The witch quickly put a bowl underneath the cut to catch his blood.

This better work, Klaus uttered in his mind. His complete distrust of others made this so very difficult. He felt like a million bugs were crawling under his skin as he thought of how he was currently putting his sister’s life in someone else’s hands. Anything to do with Pia made him feel incredibly vulnerable; without her he was nothing more than the monster that people made him out to be. Pia was his one and only. He needed her to be safe.

---

Pia paced around her room and bit at her nail, not even noticing when it began to bleed. The servant in the room stayed still so as to not antagonise her into doing something to him. Petyr knew better than to interrupt the lady of the house when she was like this. He had once attempted to ask her what was upsetting her - the scar above his brow was the only answer she gave.

Pia knew something was happening; she could feel it. She’d locked herself in her chambers and only opened the door to let the servant or Rebekah inside. There was something in the air and it was unsettling. Niklaus repeatedly tried to speak with her but she wasn’t listening. An uncomfortable ache began in her neck whenever she thought of her twin. He’d snapped her neck. He’d disabled her because his ego wouldn’t allow for him to actually listen to her words. Her foot kicked out and a loud crash echoed throughout the room as a chair smashed into pieces after hitting the wall.

“Niklaus, what are you doing?!” It had to be him. He had to be planning something! She could feel the spark of magic that made the air feel like it was smothering her. Was he going to kill her? Was he plotting some way to harm her so that she couldn’t leave him? No, he wouldn’t do that… would he? All was quiet in the manor as the voices carried on echoing within her mind. Was she being unreasonable? Maybe she could help find Katerina and end this once and for all. She wasn't prepared to lose her brother once again because of the actions of one of those almond-eyed girls. “What is he up to? He’s doing something against me, I know he is.” She muttered and dragged her hands through her hair with a low growl. “He’s plotting against me. He must be. He-”

It was then in the silence a noise disturbed her thoughts.

Thump thump.

Her head cocked to the side so sharply that a loud crack echoed through the room. That familiar burn in her gums made her snarl.

Thump thump.

Her fangs descended as the heartbeat continued to destroy her peace. She flicked her tongue over her fangs and hissed quietly. Her mind had melted completely into that of her hunting instinct. Pia was no longer there.

Thump thump.

Petyr had heard the 'click' and knew right then that his life was moments away from ending. In an effort to conceal his fear he shut his eyes tight and clenched his fists. He didn’t want to see her coming at him.

Thump thump.

Thump-

Her body flew across the room and her fangs ripped into his neck. Petyr's mouth opened in a silent scream as she tore through his skin. The blood poured down her face as she focused on making the annoying sound stop. She let out a low moan of satisfaction as the thick, hot blood entered her mouth. Her fangs shredded his skin like thin parchment as she needlessly released her bite only to clamp down once again. The monster within her, the infamous Snow White Killer, was only a few mouthfuls away from being awakened. A few moments later, and all was silent once more. As though she had woken up from a dream, her hands released the limp corpse. The dull sound of him hitting the wooden floorboards made Pia open her eyes in shock; black veins slowly receded as she came back to her senses. She stared down at the boy at her feet in disbelief; she’d lost control again.

“Pia?” A gentle voice came from her left. She slowly turned to see Rebekah looking at her with wide eyes. Pia’s curls seemed wilder than ever as the ends of her hair were stained red; blood ran down her face and tainted the blue nightdress she wore. Rebekah didn’t step forward and held her hands up in defence as she saw Pia’s unwavering gaze. She’d only met the darkness within her sister once, and she wasn’t in a hurry to repeat that encounter.

Pia blinked hard and shook her head. “It’s me… it’s me…” She breathed as her sister looked at her in horror. “I- I’m okay.” Pia could feel the need to release the monster but fought the urge just as Elijah had told her to. “It’s me.” She murmured again, as though reminding herself that she was in control. Her head dropped to avoid the look of fear in Rebekah’s eyes.

"Oh, Pea..." Rebekah gently stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her small sister before calling out for Elijah. Their eldest brother entered the room looking grim. He'd been close to Pia's room and had heard the awful growls she had made whilst draining her victim. The similarities between her and Niklaus were becoming quickly apparent. Niklaus was a monster hiding behind a dimpled smile, whilst Pia's small stature made her look like a feeble, young lady and hid the animal that was trapped inside of her.

"I shall take care of it." He rolled the boy up in the sheets of Pia's bed and removed the body. Niklaus was waiting near the end of the hallway; Elijah glanced at his brother and shook his head before continuing past him. He was what was causing his little sister to behave like this. Niklaus needed to change his ways and fast. There had been too many bloodbaths caused by the twins as of late. They were drawing more attention than ever.

----

The sun had set hours ago and now the moon lit up the hallway as it shined through the windows. It was time.

Niklaus carefully pushed the door and was happy to see that Pia hadn't locked it after Petyr's body had been taken away. The door didn't make a sound; almost as though it knew how unhappy its master would be should it wake the girl on the bed. Pia sighed in her sleep but stayed unconscious as Niklaus moved closer to her. She'd cleaned the blood from her face and was wearing a new nightgown. A smile came to Klaus' face as he brushed a stray curl off her cheek. Pia had never looked so innocent; her youthful face was clear of the emotions that had plagued her the entire day. He gently kissed her soft cheek as he removed the dagger from its sheath.

"I'm sorry..." Niklaus muttered. It didn't look different from the other daggers, but he prayed that this would work. She needed to be safe and protected. She was too stubborn to listen to his rules and understand his motives. This is the only way, he repeated in his head as he leant forwards and placed both hands on the blade. The tip of the dagger hovered between her breasts as Niklaus faltered. This was his twin. This was his mate. She was his everything and yet he was going to put her to sleep for God only knows how long. What if something happened to him and he didn't have the chance to tell anyone where she was? What if she stayed asleep until the end of time? What if that witch had betrayed him and had done something so that Pia would die the moment the blade pierced her skin? His head snapped up as he heard Bekah's door open.

This is the only way!

Niklaus took a deep breath and raised his arms. Pia's eyes snapped open and her body jolted upwards as the blade entered her chest. She made eye contact with her lover and seemed to choke on her words before her skin began to turn grey. Her lids fluttered shut and her body became limp.

"Pia- Nik!" Rebekah raced over to her sister and her eyes widened at seeing the dagger in her chest. "How- what- Nik?!" Rebekah was speechless and tears filled her eyes as she looked up at her brother from the bed. Her back hit the ground as Niklaus threw her away from his twin.

"It is the only way, Rebekah. She needs to be safe from him whilst I break the curse." His sister tried to get closer to Pia to pull the dagger from her body, but Niklaus once again pushed her back.

"How did you even manage to neutralise her? The daggers don't work on either of you!"

"I know a witch who did a spell for me."

"It was Thalia, wasn't it? She betrayed Pia!" Rebekah stormed out of the room and left Niklaus with their sister's body. Niklaus presented a fine silk ribbon from behind his back and began to tie the hair back from Pia's face. Her lips were cold and stiff as he brushed his mouth against hers before climbing onto the bed. He brought his twin's body against his and rested his chin on top of her head. This was the last time he would hold her for some time, and he wasn't about to waste a second. As Klaus began to relax with Pia, Rebekah broke into the witch's chambers in another wing of the house. She snapped her neck within seconds and stood over her body with a sad smile. Tears ran down her cheeks as she collapsed to her nears with a sob.

Meanwhile, Elijah sat in his study and nursed a goblet of wine. The regular frown formed on his face as he noticed a second heartbeat had ceased. "We are death." He murmured into the silence and took another sip of his drink. How much more could his family go through before they broke?

----

Niklaus sat in silence; the fire crackled in the background and candles flickered in the room. He was sat against the headboard of his bed in nothing more than his breeches; the bodies of three drained maids littered his floor but he didn’t have the energy to remove them. Pia was hidden in a place that only he knew of but he felt a million times worse than he had before. Was he happy that she was safe from Mikael? Yes. Was he happy that she had to be isolated and on her own? No.

He let out a deep sigh and wiped his chin with a handkerchief to get rid of the blood staining his mouth. When had life become so complicated? This family had gone through so many more downs than ups - even before they were turned into vampires - that it was becoming harder to see a positive outcome for them all. He rubbed his thumb over the locket in his hand; inside was a small portrait of his twin but he found it too painful to look at. Merely holding it gave him a bit of comfort though as it made him feel as though she was close to him still. “Oh, Pia… I need you so much.” He felt heartbroken. He may have neutralised Pia, but it was never something he wanted. It just needed to be done. Had she gone through with her plan to leave then she would have put herself in danger and Niklaus couldn’t allow that.

“Nik?” Rebekah poked her head around the door and looked at her brother. She was still angry, but being on Niklaus’ bad side wouldn’t help her to persuade him to wake up Pia or reveal her location. The girl shut the door behind her and sat on the edge of his bed. “Can I sit with you?” Niklaus didn’t say yes, but him not throwing her out immediately told Rebekah what she needed to know. She climbed up onto the bed and sat beside him. Her hand went over his that grasped the locket and she squeezed lightly. Her eyes were glassy as she blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over.

“I can’t wake her up, Rebekah.” He already knew her motive for coming in here.

“Why?”

“You know why.” Klaus replied sharply.

“Mikael.”

“Yes. I do not wish for her to be daggered. I’ve never wished to be apart from her, but if she left, then there’s no telling what Mikael would do to her if he found her. It is so much safer for her to be asleep until Mikael is taken care of.” Rebekah nodded gently and sighed. She wasn’t going to get him to agree right now and so decided to try and make him think of happier times.

“Do you remember your 15th birthday?”

“Of course, I do.” How could he forget? He didn’t care to remember a lot of his past life, but that night himself and Pia had promised themselves to each other. No matter if someone somehow managed to get between then, they would always belong to each other at heart.

“I only remember Pia sneaking out of our bedroom before returning a little while later. It was obvious as to what had occurred between the pair of you, but I couldn’t bring myself to judge either of you. I’d never seen you so happy.”

Nik & Pia’s 15th Nameday. 995AD

“Pia.” A smile grew on her face as his voice called out to her. She quickly wrapped her blanket around her and crept outside. The door shut with a small click which made her freeze. When she heard no movement from within the longhouse she released a sigh of relief. “Pia!” A hand smothered her shocked scream and familiar laughter filled her ears. Niklaus kept his hand over her mouth and led her to a secluded area just a few minutes away from the house. Once she was free she fought to hide her smile and hit him on the shoulder. He grabbed her hand and tugged her forwards gently with a grin. Their lips met in a soft kiss that said more than words ever would and left their hearts pounding. Pia bit her lip and looked up at the boy that shared her nameday.

“Happy nameday, Niko.”

“Happy nameday, Pia.”

Their lips met once more; their mouths moulded together perfectly. It was like they had been created for each other. As his tongue massaged hers she ran her fingers through his hair slowly. She could touch him all day and not get bored. He was everything to her. Nik slowly peppered kisses down the side of her neck making her sigh with pleasure. He carefully pulled the blanket from her shoulders and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her as close to him as he could. No matter how much he held her to him, she was never close enough. It was though he wished to consume her.

“Niko…” She breathed against his cheek in excitement. They had snuck out of the house before, but this was different. Something was different between them. The boy moved away slightly and straightened the blanket on the floor before sitting on it. He patted the space next to him with a cheeky grin. Pia looked around paranoid, but once she saw there was no movement around them she settled down on the woollen sheet.

“Pia, I love you so much. I want you to remember that no matter what happens.”

“Niko, nothing would ever make stop loving you. We are going to be together forever. I can feel it. I shall never stop being yours.” He pecked her lips once more in agreement. A squeak left her as he pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. His hand rubbed the top of her thigh and he snuck his hand beneath her nightgown before looking up at her.

“I know we are not married or betrothed, but I want to have you all to myself. I cannot imagine a life where you belong to another.”

Pia was breathless. This was everything she’d ever dreamt of. “I am yours.”

He gave her a grin before slowly inching his hands up her thigh. Pia stiffened slightly which made Niklaus pause.

“Are you sure about this, my love?” Oh, she wanted him so much, but Pia couldn’t say it; the blush lit up her face as though her blood was on fire and her throat seemed to close up so that she couldn’t reply. Niklaus reluctantly tried to move his hand away so Pia made the quick decision to roll her hips forward. A gasp left her lips as his fingers tickled between her thighs.

“Niko, I love you.” She muttered against his lips as they fell backwards.

“And I you.” He replied as he gently rolled them over so that his body was between her legs. Pia began to convulse as his fingers continued their movements against her sensitive skin; she quickly moved a hand over her mouth to smother her cry of pleasure as she climaxed. A light sheen of sweat covered her body as Niklaus helped her undress. He followed suit and they spent a few moments to gaze at each other’s forms. They had seen their naked bodies before, but this situation made it feel like it was the first time. “This will hurt a little.” Niklaus warned her quietly.

“I don’t mind. I want to be yours… only yours.” She gave him a nod and took in a deep breath. Nik held his length in his hand and gently prodded at her opening. He moved forward steadily and bit the inside of his cheek as Pia’s eyes clenched shut in discomfort. His movement stopped when he was fully sheathed and lowered himself so he was closer to her. He kissed her cheeks and forehead, whispering sweet words until she opened her eyes and gave him a small smile in encouragement. Pia dug her nails into Niko’s arms as he pressed gentle kisses to her neck to help her relax a little more.

“Relax, Pia… you need to try and relax…” He murmured softly into her ear. Pia nodded and focused on the boy above her; he gave her a dimpled smile that made her heart melt. That look could make even the coldest of winters warm. Niklaus captured her mouth with his and gave her a hard, possessive kiss as he felt her ease around him. Her leg moved to wrap around his waist and she rocked her hips to encourage him to move.

“That’s my good girl.” He whispered against her lips as he began to thrust into her slowly. “My beautiful, little Pia…”

Niklaus smiled as he remembered that night. It had been the perfect birthday as far as he was concerned.

“Is she somewhere warm and safe?”

“Of course. You know she hated the cold. I will make it up to her, I promise. She is my forever.”

“We will all make it up to her.” Rebekah commented as she knew that none of them would be able find her if Niklaus had hidden her away from the world.

“You won’t try to find her?”

“I cannot promise that I won’t try. It may take me centuries, but I will not give up. I merely hope that you will not let her suffer for too long, dear brother. It will destroy you as much as it will destroy her if you are parted for too long.” They slowly settled into a comfortable silence; Rebekah watched one of the candles that lit the room whilst Niklaus twirled a strand of his sister’s hair. Niklaus could feel that his sister had more to say and so kept quiet until she finally spoke again. “I’m not going to say this to hurt you, but I just need you to understand, Nik.” Rebekah slowly sat up and stared into her brother’s eyes. “You have always been upset about being chosen last which is why you make the choices that you do. You have never realised that there is one person that never put you behind anyone else. Pia always put you first; no matter what you had done.”

“Then why did she try to leave me?” Bekah leant forward and wiped the stray tear that had fallen from his eye with a frown.

“She did not want to see you destroy yourself. She couldn’t see you lose yourself to this madness and she felt it was her only choice.”

“She said that to you?”

“Yes.”

“Pia, are you alright?” Rebekah entered her sister’s chambers and shut the door firmly behind her.

“No, I’m not. How many times is he going to hurt one of us just because we do something that he doesn’t like?” The girl slumped on her bed and Rebekah lied down on the other side. The pair stared at each other and held hands.

“Do you remember the promise that we made to each other?”

“Always and forever doesn’t seem like an option right now.”

“Don’t say that.” Rebekah whispered and held tighter onto Pia’s hand as though she would slip away in that moment.

“How can we all stay together when Niko doesn’t trust any of us?”

“He loves you so much, Pea.”

“I know that. I know he does, but I will not see him lose to the darkness that is taking over him. He kissed her to try and keep her here!”

“He’s an idiot.” The girls breathed out a laugh in agreement. Klaus was certainly an idiot at times. “He’s just upset that the curse still has a hold over the both of you and has become desperate. After all this time, he was so close to breaking it, and then the Petrova girl outsmarted him.”

“I hate the curse as well. I was so happy when I thought it was over! It was going to be a new start for all of us; Mikael would never stand a chance against us if Nik and I had been able to break the curse… but I am prepared to stay as I am - even when I can feel my wolf scratch away inside of me - because I love our family more than anything. No matter how much pain Nik causes Katerina, we both know that it shall never be enough.” Rebekah couldn’t stop the tears that poured down her cheeks; her family was breaking apart right in front of her eyes and she could do nothing! “Oh, Bekah…” Pia felt the older sister in her emerge and immediately wrapped Rebekah up in her arms. She pressed her against her chest and kissed the top of her head gently.

“Please, do not leave us!”

“Rebekah, you know that I would not stay away for long. I just need some space before my love for Niko becomes poisoned by his anger. I love you all too much to part from you.”

“Do you promise that you will only leave for a little while?” Her voice sounded so small that Pia’s grip tightened around her younger sister. Rebekah felt relief, but she had never felt so vulnerable. Pia may have been Nik’s twin, but she was her only sister and meant so much to her. They were best friends.

“Rebekah, look at me.” Pia cupped her sister’s face and wiped away the last few teardrops that ruined her pretty face. “I will not stray far and I will not be away for long. We are family and we will always be there for one another. Elijah is independent and the most controlled out of us all, but he still needs me to help reason with Nik when he becomes manic. Kol… well, Kol just needs me since I stand up for him when no one else will. You, my sweet sister, need me so that you aren’t surrounded by men… and Niko? He holds my heart as I hold his.”

“She wasn’t going to abandon us?” Niklaus felt so foolish for thinking that she would just run away.

“I thought that she was going to, but she explained everything and it made so much sense. She only wished to remove herself from the situation so that she could save her love for you.”

“I have ruined us.” Rebekah didn’t agree or disagree with him. There was nothing she could say that would make the situation any better. “Rebekah, she will stay neutralised for as long as she needs to be protected from Mikael. I swear to you that Pia is safe.”

“I trust you, Nik.” She didn’t know if she completely meant her words, but Rebekah knew that her brother needed to hear them right now.

“One day it will all be different. Mikael will be gone and our family will stand above all others.”

“Always and forever, right?”

“Always and forever.”

No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe No matter how many nights that you lied wide awake to the sound of the poison rain Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? Tell me would you kill to save for a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn let it all burn This hurricane's chasing us all underground ---Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars---

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