#(I didn't watch the new ep yet did we reach it?)

[hellolulu]

Mob Psycho 100 having "even though I don't want to hurt others, existing as a human being means I can't avoid it, so I'll make sure to be responsible for any pain I cause" as a theme is very rad, I think.

[twig-tea]

Be My Favorite Ep 11 First Thoughts

Okay, I took a lunch break at work to get this out, watched the episode and am writing this down now, before I read what everyone else thought later: I really, really liked this episode. Once again this show manages to never lie to us in the trailer and yet still take us by surprise in terms of how things play out in the episode. I have to say, I was really tickled by the fact that a time travel show faked out time travel in the episode preview by showing us clips from a time skip (but then still gave us time travel because it never lies)!

We got more from Kawi and Pisaeng's first time, first at the beginning of the episode where we saw more of their intimacy and all of the careful checking and non-verbal consent taking place after the verbal consent [btw Krist did a decent job of telegraphing comfort and intimacy here, I appreciated the arms around Pisaeng's neck] and a little more at the end, where we get more of the amusement park date and it shows us that Kawi wasn't lying when he said he had a good time. With that additional context I no longer needed a conversation, there was enough happening to be on the same page around Kawi's fears about intimacy and how he and Pisaeng moved past them together. I still think Kawi could be on the ace/demi spectrum and I feel for everyone who was hoping for explicit representation and didn't get it from this show 💕 You're visible and you're valid, friends!

Pear reading the poem over the montage was lovely and I really enjoyed that as a way of showing everyone reaching a new point in their different journeys at the same time (love that everyone gets to grow in this show except for Not, which is as it should be).

[Also just saying that this montage perfectly set up my clown theory for what the final post-credit scene will be for this show lol]

The flashback to the explanation about time travel was a bit oddly placed but I took him reflecting on it in this moment to be the closing chapter of Kawi's growth, that he finally fully understands the lesson that Time Travel Guy was trying to teach him and he's going to live in the moment from now on. This sets us up for the story pivot to Pisaeng as the protagonist later in the episode.

The relationship montage was so lovely! At first I was worried they were trying to show couples growing apart but it became clear that it was about finding a sustainable balance in a relationship. Love that Kawi gets a second set of covers and still cuddles with Pisaeng when they sleep, for example.

Kawi getting sick and having a flu turn life-threatening immediately had me thinking immediately about COVID and I have a lot of complicated feelings about the show not naming COVID.

The scene with the doctor was absolutely shattering, "are you his family?" ...and the pause where Pisaeng knew he couldn't say yes even though that's the true answer. Fuck every government that does not legally recognize our importance to one another. This is even more devastating with Kawi who literally has nobody else.

Pisaeng going back in time makes perfect sense considering his guilt and his desperation. What I really love about the switch between Kawi as main character and Pisaeng as the main character is that Pisaeng is getting an arc. It's so interesting that he's taking the chance now that he knows what he has to lose, rather than before when Time Travel guy offered to help him and Pisaeng was confident he didn't need it. I'm wondering what the show thinks Pisaeng needs to learn; the chance to learn to live for himself rather than for Kawi? To be able to manage not being in control? Or is this less about a learning opportunity and just a chance to get to spend more time with the love of his life, along the lines of Eternal Yesterday?

I'm wondering about the timing of this event in the timeline: I think this was around the time Kawi travelled the first time, assuming Pear's marriage is taking place at the same time in the various timelines just to someone else in almost each one. So now I'm wondering whether Kawi got the chance to try again because he was about to die in the first timeline (since that seems to be something that can't be changed, along the lines of Kawi's dad).

If that's the case, then I would anticipate that Pisaeng being sent back in time is his opportunity to process his guilt, grief, and fears about Kawi 's death with Kawi, come to terms with the fact that he has to face his present, and then travel back to....I really hope find out that Kawi does not die. But I'm kind of getting the sense that he will. As Time Travel guy says, he's used up all his luck. And as Pear's dad said in ep10, there's no such thing as a perfect life because change happens, so you need to be able to be resilient to change.

[I don't think we'll get a Once Again ending because this show is all about living in the present and living a time loop just so that you can be together would be completely counter to that.]

What I want to happen is for Pisaeng to get strength from past-Kawi to face his present, have Kawi survive, and let them process together about living without regrets so they can face whatever comes without time travel. And maybe join Max in fighting for marriage equality.

[Also sidenote, I wonder whether Kawi being less ultra-famous in this timeline is a side effect of him being in an open and public relationship with Pisaeng? He's still clearly doing music work but their apartment doesn't have the same accoutrements from his career that the other timeline did. I may be reading too much into it though; it's also possible that he prioritized their relationship more than he did his relationship with Pear, or just didn't decorate the same way in this timeline, or a mix of these.]

Excited to read everyone's thoughts!

[edit: @waitmyturtles just saw your note! Tagging you here a bit late]

[gregoftom]

Thinking about things being implied in subtext via camera zoom, it was definitely intentional. I've just watched a reaction of s3ep2 when Logan sent those donuts after the sibs got together in Ken's (well Rava's) place. When they talked about the donuts in the car, the camera zoomed in on Tom. Implying he was the one who spilled the secret to Logan. Which makes sense considering the timing (Gerri did threaten Roman but it was immediately after the phone calls that they got the donuts, so), but the zoom in made me convinced. I didn't notice it on my first watch but dissecting succession on rewatch (un)surprisingly makes you discover so many new angles

So, anyways, those shots of Bridget in the background while Tom and Logan were talking about his divorce with Shiv and Shiv turning away after Greg came in after Tom in the wake, that even on my first watch immediately made me go hmmm 🧐, were definitely there for a reason.

See, I know many people say that s4 lack subtlety/subtext. But I feel like mayhaps it just went undiscovered or people are unwilling to take that leap of faith. Especially regarding tomgreg. Like they're just okay with accepting what people around the characters are saying about the disgusting brothers scheme and Greg's being a playboy at face value. Even though we then found out it had not even been happening yet. In fact, Greg actually implied it hadn't happened when he talked about Bridget to Tom in ep 1 using the word "finally", but it's literally just a handjob initiated by Bridget who was high where he wasn't even able to finish.

Like, there're so many things being implied there even with that one scene. (What was Greg doing on those many dates then? Dinner and kissing? And then dump them after? What did he get out of that? Except the reputation. What did the reputation of being a playboy give him despite not actually being a playboy or enjoying it? Safety in an environment where toxic masculinity is highly regarded, and something to bond with Tom) But the implications go in the direction of things that make those people uncomfortable (Greg being gay doing comphet/being into Tom) so they just call people who saw it, who applied their logic like what succession has always demanded from the audience in the previous seasons, delusional. As if we are taking a joke too seriously and going too far.

And I feel like seeing how the fandom works, the zoom in shot of Tom in the donut scene in the car (or other shots like that who are more in line with the Logan/company takeover plan, or the Roy siblings' struggle) would be seen as more worthy of discussion and taken seriously in the general fandom than the Bridget zoom shot or the Shiv at the wake zoom shot or Greg acting comphet, like I just know if these get brought up there they'd just dismiss it as tomgreg being desperate and not the camera director/writers literally guiding the audience's eyes and trying to make us think

Sorry for the rant it's so frustrating how much the general fandom vibe is like "you're seeing things that weren't there" now even though they probably joined and laughed at those 'tomgreg is probably into each other' jokes in the past

OOGH that’s super interesting omg. and yeah when it comes to tomgreg especially, any kind of examination of scenes or talking about shots or possibilities of why certain directions were taken are automatically dismissed as reading too much into it or misogynistic or a reach or not focusing on the “correct” part of the media, which is super sad bc then you miss out on things like thiiis! which you are saying!

when it comes to s4, i have a lot of beef with it but it definitely does have its merits and cinematography is absolutely one of them.

[bengiyo]

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Relieved this released on Sunday in the US, because there is just too much to watch on Monday right now.

I like the intro for this show a lot.

When In said, "Siam is my idol. He said he would looks after me. And he never once failed to do that." I just can't help but wonder if his death is somehow connected to that.

You know, I don't think we're supposed to imbibe alcohol while we're trying to heal.

Siam not enjoying alcohol, yet becoming an alcoholic, is incredibly tragic.

It sounds like In has shifted his pronoun usage in response to Wang's demand.

In is enrapturing as he describes his history with Siam. You can see how deeply he cherished Siam and the relationship they had.

Did they use Pond as a body double for Siam in these photos? I kinda like that they didn't use a different actor for young In.

Has Sasiwimol downplayed the fact that she has an adult son and is a divorcee for her entire career? I just struggle with her so much.

Wang should maybe become an investigative journalist. He's absolutely determined to extract these secrets from In.

Ah, architectural bars my beloved, you return as Wang pushes further into how Siam ended up with Sasiwimol right as the lightning and thunder picks up.

Gosh, I am in love with Pond's face in this exchange about the exact timing and motivations around the courtship between Siam and Sasiwimol. I am convinced Wang knows or suspects more than he lets on, and it's why the questions are so pointed.

I appreciate GagaOOlala, I truly do, but can we do away with the tv cutaways for commercial breaks and mini previews? I'm here! I'm committed to the episode. It always feels jarring.

What are the modesty rules in Thailand that require them to blur containers with alcohol, but don't prevent depictions of people being publicly intoxicated to the point of unconsciousness?

I feel for In so badly. He willingly chose to closet himself (and Siam by extension), but enabling Sasiwimol and forming a temporary relationship with another woman. And for all that he sacrificed, three people he cared about suffered. I can feel the immensity of the guilt he carries.

Oof, I just got tense and choked up by Wang's promise to be there for In. I could see something like hope rise in In before be quickly clamped it. That was intense.

Pond and Nike convey so much emotion with their faces. The tentativeness around inviting Wang to the bed was gripping.

I am going to lose it. The framing of Wang joining In shows Wang leaving the side of the room where the bars had visible separated him on the couch. Now he's on the other side in the bed. Absolutely incredible use a prop in this show.

I cannot overstate how much of a joy and relief it is to see a Thai production where we keep the actors in the same frame and let them both say multiple sentences without a cut.

The backing track is used so well as they try to share about how they feel about the moment. It was such an aching shot of Wang reaching out his hand as In physically restrained his own.

It is interesting to be inside of Wang's head as he discovers new feelings within himself.

This may not be BL, but we're definitely gonna squeeze in a sponge bath.

The righteous fury Wang felt for his friend as he saw him being bullied resonated. It sorta feels like Wang admitted he was also possibly queer, but I'm not sure I want to commit to a read. What is clear is that he hates bullies and their enablers.

Ah, so he is. I like the way he talked about his first experience with his friend. He held onto personal details that reinforces how potent they were. In love BL, truly, but goddamn am I leaning in with this show so attentively.

"Thank you for trusting me," is how you should generally respond to someone sharing something important with you.

We're approaching the point where we should hit a major crisis. Curious what reveals we'll unpack next week.

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Laws of Attraction Ep. 7:

1. The show is trying to fool the audience into thinking that Charn will somehow betray Tin. Well, as an expert watcher of Asian dramas, they certainly can't fool me 😂😂😂 I have seen this type of plot in too many lakorns lol

2. Oh, so that's what happened. Baby girl, you should have kept quiet or played along with Thattep until you have reached safety 😭😭😭

3. Okay, now it makes sense why he needed Tanthai to take the fall. But, why didn't he thought of making up a story that it was carjacked? After all, that's the story they ended up with the dead gardener. There was no need to involve Tanthai at all 🤬🤬🤬🤬

4. I guess this episode aims to answer all the questions 😂 I was actually wondering how they knew about the doll.

5. WAAAAAAAIIIIIT UUUUUPPPPP!!!!! I did not missed a single episode. How come Thee and Tan ended up shirtless and snuggling together in bed??? How the eff did that happened and how did I missed it? 😭😭😭😭

6. Oh, look. It's Wit. Why are you angry at Charn? He wasn't the one who fired you. The fvck.

7. At this point, I'm beginning to believe that Charn is bulletproof 😂😂😂😂

8. I thought it was Charn's old lover stalking him. Also, pretty convenient that the boy has a police siren for a ring tone 😅😅😅

9. I do hope that when Charn started his revenge on the village, only the rotten ones were left since the boy revealed that the good ones were also killed.

10. All of that (future) heartache for a can of coffee 😭😭😭😭

11. Oooh, are we meeting the "haunted and horny night" Navin, at last? <after fifteen seconds and the misspelt name tattoo 😂😂😂> Oooof. I smell jealousy 🎶🎶🎶

12. TWENTY???? TWENTY EXES??? Charn, you slut 😂😂😂😂

13. Well, at least Tin is much smarter than the haunted and horny night Navin lol. Oooof and better in bed too (according to Charn lol)

14. Why are you talking like you are about to die, Charn? Why do I feel like Charn's deal with Navin is to leave Tin with the latter to protect while Charn sacrifices himself to Thattep???

15. <after 5 seconds> Handcuffs. I don't think Charn is in the mood for some BDSM. 😑😑😑

16. Oh. My. God. Tan, you dumbass. Why did you post your sweet moments with Thee in IG???? At the very least, you should have set your profile in private 😭😭😭

17. Wait, Tan is really his son? I thought Tanthai was adopted. But then again, Thattep is also stupid. Your beloved wife died for that son, you think your wife is going to forgive you for abusing Tan? The fvck. Well, at least Thattep didn't killed Thee yet.

18. Oooh. Navin is pretty efficient. He managed to catch Wit lol. However, the new Charn forgives him. Lucky Wit. Otherwise, I don't think Navin will show mercy - the man is kinda mental 😅😅

19. Navin just plunges the dagger right into Tin's heart. 😔😔😔

20. This series is really shaped like the most traditional Thai lakorn 😐😐😐😐 Only difference is that the leads are gay 😅

Can't believe I'm almost at the finish line. Still, I don't know how Navin can keep Tin for two days. Also, why two days???

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Double Edged

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Loki x GN!Reader

Summary: When discussing the subject of love, Loki mentions that no one has ever made it feel real...except one: you.

Warning: loki spoilers - events and dialogue from eps 1 and 3 specifically.

"Loki, I'm supposed to be working," you giggle when he kisses your neck.

"Then as the crowned prince, I demand you stop working so you can focus all of your attention on me," he murmurs against your ear, causing you to shiver.

You slide the last book from your stack into place and turn around, leaning against the shelf as the mischievous prince cages you with his arms, "I need to work and you need to go do your studies."

The young prince rolled his eyes, "Why study Asgardian history when," his hands go to your hips and his lips hover over yours, "When I could study your body instead?"

The scene changes, the two of you are slightly older.

You're laying in one of the royal gardens. Loki's head rests in your lap as the both of you stare up at the sky.

"Loki?"

"Hm?"

"...I love you."

He tenses up and, you don't see it, but his eyes are wide. He sits up and looks at you, seeing if you were joking or not. You sit up as well, a soft smile on your face.

"You love me?" he asks in a quiet whisper.

You nod, "I do," you reach out and place your hand over his but he retracts, as if your skin was fire.

"I-I'm sorry," he scrambles to his feet, "I'm sorry. I don't-I'm sorry."

Loki looks away from the projection. He remembers that day like it was yesterday. How foolish he was, how idiotic. He said he didn't feel the same, yet that wasn't true at all. He regretted not telling you that back then, but what he regrets even more was how he treated you afterwards.

It's like he was flaunting how much he didn't love you. With the men and women surrounding him during the festivities. He drank and made out with several of them all in front of you.

Maybe this was who he was all along. He'd purposefully bring in his new flame into the library where you worked, ravaging them as if you weren't there hurting.

He treated you like the dirt on his boot, as if his sweet words and gentle touches between you two never existed. Maybe this was who Loki truly was: a stereotypical arrogant and ignorant prick.

As Loki watches through his future, he's shocked and amazed to find that you found yourself by his side again, albeit, unwillingly at first due to your desire to assist Thor. But eventually, willingly.

After the events of Sakaar and Ragnarok, you're drained. You lean against the large window of the ship, staring out into space. You feel a presence behind you and you knew who it was.

"I never thought we'd be here."

"I suspect no one ever expects themselves to lose their home by some giant firey demon."

"I don't mean us, Asgardians, Loki," you turn to the prince of the former Asgard, "I meant you and I."

You see the sudden sadness in his eyes, "Y/N-"

"I thought we were in love, that you loved me. I thought we had a future. Young, stupid, foolish me," you rolled your eyes looking away from Loki.

He reached out and grabbed your hand, "I didn't mean it, Y/N. I-I was scared and I lied. I did love you, Y/N." he turns to fully face you and you do the same. He cups your face and looks at you with the most sincere love and adoration in his eyes, "I do love you, and we can have a future now."

Loki watches as a new scene unfolds.

Thanos and his children board the ship. Watches as they kill the Asgardians that try to protect others. Loki's heart drops to his stomach when he sees Proxima Midnight stab you through the chest with her staff. And then, eventually, his own death.

_______________

Loki and Sylvie sit across each other on the train. "On the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?" Loki asked Sylvie as he poured himself a drink.

"Yeah, there is, actually," she responds, "Managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another."

Loki chuckles at her jesting, "With charm like that, who could resist you?"

Sylvie smiles, "Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom. But how about you? You're a prince. Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince."

"A bit of both. I suspect the same as you. But, um.." you come to his mind, he thinks of his past, the time you spent together...the love, "There was one person, in my youth. They were...radiant, beautiful, smart, kind."

"What happened?" Sylvie asks, with a curious tilt of her head.

He sighs, "I broke their heart. They confessed their love to me and I was scared. I felt the same, but nonetheless, I ran away like a coward. Proceeded to behave like a giant ass towards them, flaunting my daily beaus around them as if I didn't care about them. Now, instead of the love they had for me shining in their eyes, all I see is pain and disdain."

"You really are a bit of a shit, aren't you?" Sylvie asks with a smirk and Loki hums, "I suppose I am," and he downs his drink, thinking about the future you two could have had.

Love is a double edged sword. You can use it to hurt others, but it can also hurt yourself in the process.

[vivalavi-daa]

Fav 2020 K-Dramas

1. Hospital Playlist

If there's anything I felt happy about in 2020, it's the fact that I've found my next ultimate fav kdramas. More than another, this kdrama feels like a home I could return to every time. Yes, hospital playlist is a slice of life drama that portrays the lives of people in hospital, but there's something about it that is so captivating to watch. I love how it realistically portrays the adults' daily lives & has no major villain of the story that heats things up whatsoever. Instead, I find it easy to emphatize with every character here, even with a patient who appears less than 5 minutes because this kdrama taught us that every life is worth it. And the friendship of the professors... it really has the power to bring joy & warmth to me.

(I also made a post about hospital playlist's characters study on my side blog. Here, if you’re interested).

2. Flower of Evil

Stories that revolve around someone who isn't capable of having emotions aren't nothing new in kdrama land. But this one, especially, is a gem. This one kept me on the edge of my seat because of how nerve wracking some of the scenes are. The suspenseful dramas, the mysteries, the romance...they're all so engaging to watch. I wasn't sure what to expect from the lead character and therefore it's exciting to see what was going to happen & to see how the characters would develop. And to be noted, I swear the cast who played the villain here gives off really scary vibes. He deserves an award for that alone

3. Mr. Queen

I'm not usually a big fan of Saeguk drama and yet here I am putting one on my fav kdrama list. I watched it merely to ease my boredom but then I surprised myself of how much I enjoyed this kdrama. The opening video was appealing & I love how entertaining Mr. Queen was. It became my weekly dose of serotonin (though it gets angsty at times). I thought the story's gonna be weird since it's about a man trapped in a woman's body in joseon era but heck, it was worth it; hilarious, and delicious (yeah, the cooking part) to watch. I've always known Shin Hye Sun is great at acting, but she truly nailed it in this one I swear.

4. 365: Repeat the Year

This drama is gold! It has a promising premise, and the rest of the story went better than I expected. It just never let me down. I thought it's merely about a time travel story, but turns out it's more than that. I never knew what to expect & every time I thought I figured something out, they always have a way to throw a surprise every week. This drama deserves more recognition imo.

5. When the Weather is Fine

This drama is a pleasant to eyes and heart. Watching it is like having a warm tea during winter days. I wasn't truly engaged with the first eps, but I slowly began to see how beautiful & heartwarming this drama is. Yes, the story pace is a bit slow, but I realized that it's important to make us understand each character deeply, what they suffer from, and how the characters slowly develop. It shows us that the journey toward emotional healing may take time, but it's worth it. Choosing to heal itself is a big step & deserves an appreciation. Another thing I highly praise from this drama is how it implicitly reminds us that if we do suffer emotionally, don't be afraid to ask for help, or to let someone help you.

6. Tale of the Nine Tailed

From the first moment I knew who would cast in this drama and what the drama is about, it's obvious that I'd love it. And I was right. The first eps had already got me hooked. The stories were amazing & funny at times. It has unique lovable characters that complete the drama. In addition, I love the mystical fantasy vibes and how they wrapped up urban legends in modern settings. Not to mention how adorable Kim Bum's character here. He & Lee Dong Wook's bromance is to die for.

7. Do You Like Brahms?

I watched it by chance, and then I fell in love the instant I watched the first eps. The drama is just beautifully done. It has soothing music & ambience and mainly revolves around good people. It's appealing how they portrayed the different perspectives between the lead couple--one who doesn't have talent but works hard to achieve her dream, and one who has talent but wishes he didn't have it. Though the lead couple has different dreams, I can't help but rooting for them... as I've never seen a relationship so awkward yet so real and so adorable before them.

8. Record of Youth

Honestly, it took a bit long for me to be completely enamored of the stories and feel what the characters feel. But as the stories developed, I began to cherish what this drama tried to show us: of how important it is to have good communication & to support each other in our family, of how everyone has different timings in life, and that everyone could have second chance in life. It's also refreshing to see the main couple here & how they interact; we could learn a lot from their communication & relationship. Overall, record of youth is one light & comforting kdrama that's perfect to watch while we need a short escape or need something to cheer us up.

9. Start Up

Honestly, I have a conflicted feelings towards this kdrama. It started off as great but...I have a hard time making sense of some of the stories afterward. And not to mention how we used to ship-debating every week it was a bit draining 😅. But to exclude it from my last year fav kdrama list seems wrong anyhow because I did love this drama. Idk, it gives off this positive energy that I needed to go through a crazy year. It somehow encouraged me to move forward & fight for my dream no matter what. The story's also quiet creative and relatable in nowadays world, while also educating us about the world of business.

10. Find Me in Your Memory

I started watching without any expectations and turns out it's really good. It's not hard to love this drama since it has likeable characters with interesting background (a guy who can't forget everything & a woman who forgets some of her important moments). The lead couple's interactions were interesting to watch. They have the kind of romance that grows slowly & when it finally reachs its peak, it burns. I loved every minute of it.

K-drama recommendations: 5/?

[windychanglin]

Nirvana in Fire: A Series that Just Gets Better with Every Rewatch

There is a saying that the first viewing of a great series/ movie should be done for the plot, second watch for the details and third watch for the craft. While rewatching things (especially a long series) has never been one of my favourite things, i had done it for a very few Japanese dramas, which definitely the ones i love the most and since they just have little number of episodes. The only long series i'd ever rewatched back then was Sherlock, and this year, finally i binge-rewatched another one! Yupyup, that is Nirvana in Fire, and the sole reason was because i was triggered after seeing the series' six-year anniversary post on Twitter around September LOL. I first watched it three years ago, though i had to finish it in haste before the university's end of semester exam period coming up. I remember i loved the overall quality of the series, admiring some of the amazing casts, repeating the theme songs, looking up for the fanficts, but didn't manage to rewatch it until this year, when i finally have more spare time and less thing to watch on my list.

I don't know if this post can be seen as a review, i just feel i need to write it all down because it's not just my opinions/ questions regarding the details i discovered after rewatching, it also contains my feelings HHH now without further ado, here is some of my best scenes and discoveries after a rewatch that leave me in complete awe all over again of the brilliant screenplay!!

[EP1] I think i didn't catch the clue during my first watch that when Lin Chen said, "He actually did it" upon hearing the Northern Yan's unfavoured 6th Prince's ascension to the Crown Prince, he was referring to Su Zhe. This reminded me again that Su Zhe was so resolute in his plans and never took the shortcut. He went as far as meddling in the enemy kingdom's affairs to create a concerning news about the Divine Talent and make sure it reached the other kingdom's princes. That way he could kill two birds with one stone because he also got the chance to test his own capability as a royal adviser before proceeding to his greater objectives in the Da Liang.

[EP4] I love how Su Zhe looked startled even in the subtlest way when Nihuang confessed that she's in "difficult situation," have no "other alternatives" and hoping that Su Zhe will put all his efforts into the defeat-Baili-Qi plan, i assume he only found out that moment that Nihuang actually still didn't want to get married and worried a lot about the husband selection tournament, yet she didn't say much about it and still being so cooperative with him to carry out the plan, which probably in her understanding, was initially created to get Tingsheng out of the servant prison (as what Su Zhe had promised to Jingyan).

[EP9] Minister Liu Cheng from the Grand Secretariat who stays out of the princes' fight for the throne suddenly brought up Shen Zhui's name to Emperor to be chosen as Minister of State Revenue. Next we found out Su Zhe had set up a meeting for Shen Zhui and Jingyan to know each other. Was it a coincidence or Minister Liu actually had somewhat a connection with Su Zhe?

[EP11] It's ironic that Grand Princess Liyang was one of those people who prevented Nihuang to be drugged by Consort Yue, but it was also her husband, Xie Yu, who made the snake Yue got Emperor's mercy and reinstated to her original position. If Xie Yu had the feeling of guilty because of what he had done to Liyang in the past, he wouldn't come up with an idea to help Yue out from the punishment.

[Ep14] A hear-warming moment when Su Zhe told Yujin that he's a "bright and insightful" person, while in the novel Su Zhe used to punish him a lot due to his frivolous behaviour. Yujin is one of those with the best character development throughout the story, like who would have thought that Su Zhe even trusted him an important mission in a later ep!

[EP14] Nihuang actually started to do the female-style greetings before Su Zhe, she normally did the male-style probably because it was more natural for her as an army general. I love how Su Zhe looked a bit stunned and Mu Qing just chuckling at her sister, acting on behalf of the viewers xDD

[EP19] Remember when Lin Chen asked Fei Liu if he wanted to join him to Southern Chu in [EP1]? In this ep, Princess Yu Wen Nian from Southern Chu was told by "Priest Chen" that her wish can come true once they arrived in Jinling. I wished they show a glimpse of Lin Chen's journey to Southern Chu and how he managed to persuade the princess to visit Jingrui, her half-brother.

[EP19] Why did Mu Qing not invited to Jingrui's birthday? I thought they're bestfriends?? x"D Had Su Zhe done something to stop him from attending the bloody party? I remember he had promised Nihuang that nothing will happen to Mu Qing while she went back to Southern Border.

[EP20] Gong Yu played Feng Qiu Huang (A Love Story) in Jingrui's birthday party, it's a famous Chinese zither song in Chinese history that has served as a symbol of the youth's pursuit for love, free marriage and happy life. A song that would hit none other than Grand Princess Liyang close to home.

[EP23] Water-buffalo is his mother's son after all

After hearing Xie Yu's confession in the prison, Xia Dong actually said, "I'm sorry" to Jingyan for casting him out for years due to his belief of Chiyan army case but Jingyan, being a benevolent man like his mother, didn't think it was for him at all as he replied, "Xiao-Shu wouldn't blame you," probably thinking that the guilt she felt was only aiming for Lin Shu and his family.

[EP23] The moment before Grand Empress Dowager died, she was actually calling for Xiao-Shu and Jinyang (Lin Shu's mother), i thought it was Jingyan at first. I was too slow to follow that Lin Shu's mother was also the granddaughter by blood of the Grand Empress Dowager.

[EP24] Remarkable Argument Scenes

I'd like to address a bit some of my fav argument scenes happened betweet Su Zhe and Jingyan, in which we could see how Su Zhe wasn't only giving instructions to Jingyan as a strategist (like what he had done to Prince Yu), but gradually evoke Jingyan's ability to think of any possibilities and solutions by giving him perpetual questions regarding the situation.

Su Zhe queried Jingyan on how would he arrest Duke Qing, a Marquis General of the second rank, with the right to receive a pardon from Emperor, who didn't commit the murders personally and how to find the missing link as a necessary piece of evidence. [EP9]

After the explosion of illegal firework factory, they had another argument as Su Zhe suggested to pretend to forget on reporting the utilization of army provisions for the victims to the Ministry of Defense. [EP17]

The heated argument happened again between them after hearing Xie Yu's confession in the prison, as Su Zhe suggested Jingyan to give up the investigation of Chiyan army case since it won't bring benefit but endless troubles on his path to the throne. Although it sounded like Su Zhe didn't want Jingyan to investigate, i think Su Zhe was actually testing Jingyan's determination, making sure he won't act recklessly on his own and eventually rely on Su Zhe's plans and strategies. [EP23-24]

Through the logical questions and reasonings, Su Zhe had been training Jingyan to be more forbearing, prudent and know when to retreat/ advance during the fights for the throne.

[EP24] Su Zhe said, "Whenever i think about the things in the past, i feel like an iceberg been roasted by a fire. Sometimes it's warm, sometimes it chills to the bone," this is reflecting to what he said during his first visit to Jingyan's manor after 12 years in [EP9]. He felt the warm because "this place is still the same as in past years, nothing has changed at all" but the unchanged manor sent chills down his spine, provoking the symptomps of his illness, as he next said, "It's just today feels a little colder than yesterday." It's not only Winter, cold weather and over-toiling that could make him suffer a relapse, but also when he's reminiscing the past, it happened too after Nihuang found out about his identity in [EP12].

[EP25] During my first watch i thought Su Zhe would eliminate the entire Hua Tribe because they're dangerous and might wreak future havoc in the Da Liang, but in this ep it's hinted that even though Qin Banruo's informants got removed by him, those who wanted to retire and fled were eventually saved by Jiangzuo Alliance. I like the idea of him saving them because Hua Tribe also deserved the justice after being betrayed by the Emperor which causing the fall of their kingdom.

[EP30] Xia Jang said, "Of the officers ranked above brigadier general, there was two whom we didn't find their Chiyan wrist band. One of them was Wei Zheng" i was wondering whether he had never thought the possibility that the other one would be Lin Shu or Nie Feng and that they're still alive, because they had the requirements above. And Xia Jang should had known that Xie Yu actually brought the wrong (or intentional fake?) body of Nie Feng to Xia Dong.... or he did not know at all.

[EP34] The thievery in the ministry's officials manors on New Year's Eve wasn't a mere coincidence because it was all planned by Su Zhe, for it became a very valid reason to move Jingyan's capital patrols (under Emperor's order) around the city to catch the thieves the day they saved Wei Zheng. Literally Su Zhe had to makes 5 or 6 subplans to save one person with all the risk of being accused, that shows how difficult it was to penetrate Xuanjing Bureau and it's system!!

[EP37] Fei Liu's memory

The plant that Fei Liu gave to Su Zhe was Nandina Domestica, usually known as "Heavenly Bamboo" or "Sacred Bamboo." It's commonly planted in the garden or house in Japan and serves to protect a household from harm. A householder who'd had a bad dream could confide in it, thus ensuring the safety of the home's inhabitants. The question is, did Fei Liu actually know about it? Because he knew his Su-gege had been having frequent bad dreams and had always been in danger during his stay in the city.

In the novel, younger Fei Liu was bought by a secret Japanese assassin group that used drugs and poisons on the kids which resulted in intellectual disability but still enable them to train in martial arts. Fei Liu was the youngest in the assassin group and had not been released on any of their missions yet when one day, the group failed in an assassination task and eventually got eliminated, he was left alone to freeze and starve to death until Su Zhe saved him when he was travelling to Japan to find some medical herbs. There shoud be a possibility that during his early days in Japan he found out about the plant and still have it in his memory even after the drugs took effect on him, that explains why he gave it to Su Zhe out of so many beautiful plants in the city! I had this theory because Su Zhe ordered his household to take care of the plant and "will not forgive them" if he finds even a single leaf is missing, then he drank the heart-protection pill from Lin Chen (that very much look similar to the Heavenly Bamboo's red berries!). Knowing that Fei Liu and Lin Chen were protecting him with their own way would make him even stronger and confident to get through the interrogation in Xuanjing Bureau.

[EP38] When Xia Dong said, "Justice is people's hearts. If you still don't repent, even if you kill 10 Mei Changsus it will not solve the problem." i think i once wondered (in my first watch) why they put those words together. Was she implying that Mei Changsu is the symbol of justice itself? Thus, even if they kill him there will always be another Mei Changsus to carry out the duty.

[EP43] Mei Changsu on His Peak of Identity Crisis

I've seen so many reactions from viewers about how people around Su Zhe were so freaking out about his altered appearance while he still looked so damn fine, but i'd like to point out that it wasn't about turning hideous or not that made them horrified, let's see what he had been told about his appearance:

Meng Zhi: "I still can't believe you have become completely unrecognizable. There are no traces of the past." [EP3]

Mr. Shisan: "Heaven has mercy. It allows me to meet Young Master. But after seeing that you don't look like before, i felt so sad.." [EP8]

Nihuang: "What kind of cruel things, can wipe away all the traces of a person? Making you unrecognizable." [EP12]

Up until here, he had been giving calm and insignificant responses with some self-assuring that he knew best who he was in his heart. But not until Consort Jing said this in this ep: "If your father or mother could see the hardships you have taken upon yourself, this heart would die of heartbreak! Xiao-Shu, you used to look so much like your father..."

I found that very heartbreaking to hear, particularly for a family-loving person like him, to the point he had to state for the first time in the series that "Even though my appearance has changed, but i'm still the son of Lin House." That was the first time he started to doubt his identity, that no matter how much he convinced himself, that even he got his appearance altered to the handsome Hu Ge (LOL), having to live the life being completely unrecognizable and cut off from the once pleasant and normal past would give one's a great amount of despair. His misery regarding his own identity might also supported by how he deliberately made himself seen as a stony-hearted and scheming person, the total opposite of his past self.

[EP45] How did Emperor see Prince Yu as a son?

After the Emperor told Prince Yu that his mother, Princess Ling Long and her kingdom were just chess pieces for his ascension to the throne, and should be eliminated because they're too dangerous, the last dialogue between them indicating that the Emperor never saw him as the princess' son, that he's much worthy to be called as his son or else the Emperor wouldn't take him home to raise him even allowing him to be adopted by the Empress.

Prince Yu: "Then what about me? What am i?! Am i the small chess piece born from a big chess piece?"

Emperor, sounds as reassuring as he could: "Jinghuan, back then before i became Emperor, the Hua Tribe was already a defeated country. Jinghuan, you are my fifth son. Your birth mother is Concubine Xiang, do you understand, son?"

Prince Yu must then realized that he had misunderstood his father's intention for being secretive about his heritage, that even though he had been so ambitious and cunning in the fights for throne, that when his father had been giving attention to other Princes in favor of their mother*, his father had never forgotten him and kept favoring him due to his abilities or achievements, and never saw him as a potentially treacherous son (the opposite way how Emperor thought of Prince Qi). I must admit i had a bit of sympathy seeing him crying in agony, he's like a frantic child who couldn't control his ambition, who had nothing but power in his head, who went too far just to please his parents, even worse because he fell for advisers that didn't help his moral character to change at all (both Su Zhe and Qin Banruo were just letting him do the bad things, a good adviser should have done the opposite for their lord, shouldn't they?).

*Consort Chen (Prince Qi's mother), Consort Yue (ex-Crown Prince Xian's mother) and Consort Jing (Jingyan's mother) all became Emperor's fav, while Prince Yu had the Empress, she didn't seem to get along at all with Emperor.

[EP45] Nie Feng was actually following Su Zhe for his blood?

I had always thought he first appeared in [EP16] on the Mount Gu to see Xia Dong when she was visiting his grave, but remember that Su Zhe happened to show up in there too, and remember he was first seen in the capital after so many years not long after Su Zhe' arrival. Coincidence? Fast forward to this ep, he appeared again on Mount Jiu An where Su Zhe joining the spring hunt. I think Nie Feng really had been yearning for Su Zhe's blood (or anyone's who had been contracted with the Bitter Flame Poison?) and tracking him because Su Zhe said that "If he drinks my blood, he will be in less pain!"

[EP46] The kingdom still belongs to Prince Qi?

Emperor was asking for Grand Prince Ji's opinion about Jingyan and whether he had ambition for the throne, and later revealing that Prince Qi is his best son while Jingyan is not, but Jingyan has good points which is he knows how to be humble, while Emperor thinks Prince Qi didn't have that. Grand Prince Ji was then muttering, "So in the end, the kingdom is his. The world is now his, so this divine talent who can obtain the world is also his," i didn't catch the meaning at first so i thought he was referring to Emperor, but Su Zhe clarified it's about Prince Qi. It all makes sense because the best son for Emperor still goes to Prince Qi, and once Jingyan ascended to the throne, he will bring out Prince Qi's aspirations to the world that he learned when they grew up together, making it feels like Prince Qi is reigning again.

[EP46] "We are all one family"

The fact that Su Zhe saved Prince Yu's wife and unborn son made me uneasy at first as i tried to find out what's his motive behind it. But what if he was encouraged by what Grand Prince Ji said to him? Several minutes earlier, we saw Su Zhe thanked him on behalf of Jingyan for saving Tingsheng, in which Grand Prince Ji answered with "We are all one family, in this world, who is not related?" and that left Su Zhe in silence. If Grand Prince Ji could save his nephew's posthumous son even though he didn't know at all the truth behind his death, why Su Zhe couldn't do the same to his cousin's wife and unborn son, when he knew they're innocence and should be given the chance to live?

[EP46] Yujin and Xia Jiang's son

Grand Prince Ji revealed that if Yujin was born as a girl, he would be enganged to someone's child/ son about his age. Throwback to [EP35], Marquis Yan actually said, "but children all grow up too quickly, if brother Xia's child was still here, he'd probably be like Yujin." Considering the fact that in the past, Xia Jang and his wife were close friends of Marquis Yan, we can assume that Yujin was supposed to engange with Xia Jiang's son.

[EP48] Consort Jing loves Lin Xie?

Let's see how Consort Jing talked about Lin Xie:

She woefully said to Su Zhe: "you used to look so much like your father..." [EP43]

Lin Xie saved Consort Jing when she was bullied by other physicians, even brought her to the capital and adopted her as a sister, hence for her he's her hero. [EP45]

Lin Xie had other name: Mei Shinan. Jingyan asked, "Which Shin, which Nan?," Su Zhe went with Shi as in stone, and Nan as in "Nan-shu" (Nan tree), but Consort Jing went with Nan as in "Nan-mu" (Nan wood). Why didn't she say "Nanshu" too? [EP46]

In this ep, the Crown Princess asked Consort Jing whether she likes the "Nan-shu" (Nan tree) that she was gazing at. Consort Jing answered with a smile that "Yes. I have always loved (it)." Apparently she didn't use any pronoun and so it's not clear what exactly she was referring to. But then it's even more fishy because she didn't just say "Nanshu" to reply Jingyan's question, i assume she was trying to make him not notice that she planted the tree right outside her room, and how she loves to gaze at it as what had been shown in some previous eps! We would never know the real feeling that Consort Jing had to Lin Xie, but obviously it's more than just a woman admiring her hero/ brother.

[EP50] Su Zhe apparently didn't get rid some of the incompetent ministers, he spared the Minister of Public Works (Prince Yu's side) and Minister of Martial Arts (ex-Crown Prince Xian's side) because they showed change and were willing to work better under the new leader.

[EP50] Remember when Emperor selected Minister's Liu Cheng's granddaughter as Jingyan's wife in [EP47], and it all went according to Xia Jang's plan (he claimed he knew Emperor's likes and thoughts on it). In this ep we found out that he actually planted his spies as her wet nurse and probably some maids. Xia Jiang must have thought he could use the Crown Princess to slip an attack on Jingyan, but she is the fierce one! So satisfying to see her and Consort Jing firing all the maid-disguised-spies!

[EP51] I'd like to point out how it seems not many people, at least in the family, remember about Lin Shu's mother, Grand Princess Jinyang, and how devastating it would be for her to see her family being accused and eliminated by her own brother, until Su Zhe said to Grand Princess Liyang in this ep: "You were very close with your sister. I wonder if she has ever entered your dreams" and in [EP53] Consort Jing asked the Emperor if his sister has ever entered his dream too, like how he had ones of Consort Chen and Princess Ling Long.

The amount of subtle forshadows throughout the series is insane, every dialogue, manner even cinematography does matter to build the dramatic tension and suspense that will keep the viewers turning the page, and i believe i couldn't figure everything out here.

Regarding the ending, i'm one of those who can't think of a better conclusion than what they offered here. I'm used to the tragic ending because some of my favourite series had the lead character died, but that's not entirely ruining the plot, instead i found that helps to create a satisfying and dignified ending.

Honestly in my first watch, i felt like they were just trying to make another irrelevant climax as a reason for Su Zhe's death, but a rewatch changed my perspective as i found that it does make sense to have all the enemy kingdoms attacking the Da Liang all at once, they must had heard the news and royal statement clearing the treason charge of Prince Qi, Lin Xie and Chiyan Army. Jingyan and the officials were busy to investigate, the entire city's focus were diverting on the case, the Emperor fell sick, and the country's defense weakened, every oppurtunist wouldn't just let it go, would they? Unfortunately, we forgot that Mei Changsu is the biggest oppurtunist in this series, a patriot in addition. The light in his eyes when he heard the chance to go back to the battlefield for the country, and how he desperately begging to let him go back to the last place he stood as Young Marshal Lin Shu are so heartbreaking to watch. He indeed brought a light of justice and hope to the country and his loved ones, but none of those could remove all of his identity crisis problem and frequent nightmares of the past, just like the lyric of Loyal Blood Forever Runs Red by Wang Kai that goes: "A decade passes in an instant, yet in his dreams he keeps wandering to the past (十载倏忽过 几回魂梦旧游)."

While i can say every rewatch makes this series even gets better, doesn't it also make you even harder to move on? Because it does for me. As an avid Asian series viewer, i'm so glad i could find this masterpiece in this lifetime! I wish i can find more series as compelling and wonderful as this one later!!

Note: Some quotes from the series are credited to Lang Ya Bang Team @ Viki

[the-villian-i-seem-to-be]

[Flower .2]

[1.]

It was around 9:00 in the morning, the sun had risen with it's bright light. All the while gossip had stirred in the streets of London. Louis had brought his brothers breakfast and the morning newspaper. The youngest Moriarty was silent as his brother thanked him for the meal and read the paper. "Phantom Thief (T/N) once again terrorises nobility.."

William read aloud, his ruby eyes scanning the newspaper article. "How peculiar, very peculiar." The blonde headed man mused, still reading out the rest. "(T/N) had stole from Lord Henderson and Mrs. Henderson's, a married couple and are in the high ranking class. Phantom Thief (T/N) had stolen a priceless emerald ring that was to be auctioned off at their estate for a private gathering."

A cryptic smile appeared on William's face. "(T/N) has still yet to be captured by authorities, the only trace left by them was a small peice of paper that reads: "Good luck next time."" William tilts his head back and joyfully laughs once he finished reading. "My goodness, I wish I could of seen this up close." The second eldest Moriarty looks back at the newspaper.

"(T/N).. What a perfect adversary to have." William says with complex expression. Louis nods, his brother was a very smart man. Cunning and calculated, so his decision would be as well. William grabs his tea cup and takes a sip of the warm drink.

His eyes focusses to the tiny vase next to his breakfast tray. The vase it self was a pretty pale blue, though the single flowers inside it stood out the most. A simple red rose was in the vase, the same one from (Y/N)'s bouquet that she had given to them the day before. William slowly reaches towards the rose with a singular hand and touches one of the plush petals gently. He let's go moments after.

~°~

"Phantom Thief (T/N) once again terrorises nobility.." (Y/N) reads over the newspaper with bland eyes. Sighing, she placed the paper underneath her counter. Deciding to watch people pass by her shop for entertainment on this slow day.

(Y/N) puts her elbows on the counter and props her head on her right hand. Leaning lazily against the counter. (Y/N) watches the outside through her glass window.  Middle class and nobles alike stroll down the sidewalk, with the occasional carriage on the road. Which didn't change the boredom she felt.

It was the same old view whenever it was a slow day. Though before (Y/N) could curse the lack of life in her shop. She  hears a horse cry and a man shouting. Gainging her curiousity, she saw something new for a change.

Police were arriving to the farther side of her street. Something must of happened, but what? (Y/N) contemplates on whether or not to check it out. It would be better than listening to herself breathing. But if she left her shop and a customer comes in..

"What a bother, I might as well wait until whatever is happening outside to pass than be in the mess." Just as those words left her throat. A two men walk into her shop. A smile crossed the females face as she greets them. "Hello, is there anything I can help you with today gentlemen?"

The first man looks around her shop. Starring at the wide variety of flowers. The first man responds to her, "yes actually. Can you please tell me about the murder that happened just down the street." The mans dark blue eyes meet her own shocked (e/c) ones.

"A murder? Sir, I don't know what you're talking about." (Y/N) says with confusion, the blue-nette falters after her words. "Oh.. I see." The air was now tense.

"Did.. Did a murder occur." The female asked with fright. The second man turns a bit solemn, "yes" he said. The first man speaks up again. "But I'm a detective, detective Sherlock Homles. And here beside me is Dr. John Watson. We are here to investigate the murder that has occured. So that is why I am asking for any information that you have."

"..." (Y/N) was silent at the introduction Mr. Homles had gave, though responds to him. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe I know much about what happened, but I will answer any question you give me."

Dr. Watson asked the first question, "do you know Mr. Edward Samuel?" (Y/N) hums in agreement. "Yes, I do. He must of been murdered, correct?" The two went silent at her accusation.

"How did you,-" "I could tell by the look on your face Dr. Watson. Your very easy to read." The female says with a weak playful smile. Mr. Homles starts to snicker quietly while Dr. Watson turned embarrassed. Muttering a few words, most likely telling his companion to be quiet.

Sherlock stopped his chuckles and asks the intriguing woman another question. "How do you know Mr. Samuel? Was he a frequent customer of yours?"

"Yes he was, Mr. Samuel bought flowers from me twice a month or so. He would by a bouquet of red roses for his wife." "His wife? Was he a helpless romantic?" "No, his wifw had passed away two years ago. He visits her grave twice a month."

"Has Mr. Samuel told you this personally?" "Yes, I grew curious of why he kept buying flowers from my shop so often. And he told me that he visits his wife grave twice a month so he can change the flowers for her."

"What flowers did he buy so frequently?" "He always bought orchids." "Do you know the last time you saw him?" (Y/N) nods, "yesterday. A few minutes after I opened, he told me his son was graduating college that afternoon."

Mr. Homles sapphire eyes scan (Y/N)'s (e/c) orbs. Looking for any trace of weakness in her words. The woman stood proudly and stares at him blankly. Waiting for him to back down, Sherlocks lips turn into a smirk. "I see. Thank you for your cooperation."

"It's not a problem sir, I hope you can find the culprit who killed Mr. Samuel." (Y/N) said with a sad smile. Dr. Watson says a small "of course."  But Sherlock stares at the female with clouded eyes. As if he was trying to figure her out with his eyes alone.

"Anything else I can I help you with?" Sherlock stops his analyzing once her voice called out to them. "No- I mean yes. Can you please give us your name?" "My name is (Y/N) (L/N), you can call Ms. (Y/N)."

"Thank you, Ms. (Y/N) for your cooperation."

"Of course."

The two walk out of her shop and vanish from her sights. (Y/N) takes in a deep breath, and forceful giggles erupt from her throat. "That wasn't what I was expecting today.." The (h/c)-nette wipes away the tiny tears in her eyes.

(Okay, I made a part two! To be honest, I have no idea where this is going, I just type whatever is on my mind and try to find a puzzle peice that may or may not fit the puzzle. Who knows? Hope you enjoyed a part of this installment, will there be more in the future? I dunno. If I could make a part two, it's anyone's guess. Thanks for reading! Ps. anyone saw ep six?)

Peeps who wanted to be tagged, @im-way-too-many-fandoms

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 10 "Thanksgiving"

Listen. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't think I can bone you right now.

My wanger is way stressed out.

I've killed for our love.

I just gave her a little push.

You and I can pick up right where we left off.

You can bring me home for Thanksgiving and introduce me to my future in-laws.

What did you do with the body?

I put it in the meat locker. It's where we've been putting all the dead bodies.

I need to see the body.

Look, we can have a three-way with the body.

I'll show you the body, but not so you can have sex with it.

I'll show it to you so that you and I will share a dangerous secret that will strengthen our relationship and bring us closer together.

I don't understand how this keeps happening!

Is this meat locker, like, a wormhole to an alternate universe or something?

She'll probably stop at nothing until she gets her revenge by murdering you.

No one wants to spend a room service Thanksgiving alone.

Are you going to talk at all?

You shouldn't be mad at me.

We're the sane ones.

Now, I know you've got other plans today, and for alibi's sake we need to protect your cover, but I am not letting you leave on an empty stomach.

Is that what quail is? I thought they were bigger.

You know what I was picturing? Pheasant.

Time to slice off those breasts.

I feel like this holiday is all about family, and, well, as you know, I gave up on my real family a long time ago.

I mean, at this point, the closest thing I have to family is. . . you.

I understand that Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family and being together and thanking God that we were born rich in America and not in Uganda or Venezuela or any of those other African countries.

You're late. The game's just about to start.

What do you think would happen if those instructions were incorrect?

This family's fortune is built on being right on time.

There's nothing better than sitting together as a family, watching the game. Laughing, smiling, just enjoying the warmth of each other's company. That's what it's all about today. Togetherness.

I hate defrosted food.

Why is it called Italian Style Chicken Cacciatore? All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.

This is not what Thanksgiving is supposed to be.

A bunch of my sort-of friends have been killed and no one has asked me about it.

Oh. And I'm starting a new family tradition. It involves me never coming to any family occasions ever again.

Would you stop with the screaming?

It's more like a stay of execution until no one is looking.

I've never cooked before, but that should be fine, since I usually just pretend to eat.

Well, I can cook and eat for the both of us.

So we've decided to have an orphans Thanksgiving all together.

I mean, I guess you could come over here if you wanted.

And this year I'm so thankful for the lax indecency laws in Eastern Europe that inundate our Internet with millions of hours of hard-core porn.

You know, ever since I was a little boy, I knew what God wanted me to do and that was make money off the backs of creative people.

I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet.

You have such a vast future ahead of you.

You'll meet so many new and different women. So many wonderful women to go out with and break up with and move on from.

You should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

What are you doing here? How are you alive?

When I woke up and regained consciousness, I felt better than ever.

The only thing you're carrying is water weight, you bloated little tramp.

I have a little game to play that's gonna make the time fly right by.

No, I've never killed anyone as far as I know.

Okay, there is no evidence at all that mass murder is genetic.

I would say that is more than a little suspicious.

I have bathroom shame issues. I always wait until everyone is asleep and then I sneak down to poop in the little powder room downstairs.

I mean, don't we all agree that those babies are the killers?

That seems like an unnecessarily complicated cover story.

I think we have plenty here to go to the police.

What, are you drunk?

You know, the one time I call you for a little advice, you're hammered.

I suppose we should discuss the matter of payment.

I'm asking you to name your price.

Are you propositioning me?

No, I'm asking how much money it'll take to make you go away.

My family is super-gross rich.

That outfit screams desperation.

I am, however, willing to write you a check for $50,000 if you will leave now and never come back.

It's a lot of money for a family like yours.

What is the best part about Thanksgiving?

Tastes like Henry VIII just barfed in my mouth.

Well, I don't want to sound like a dick here, but have you ever considered maybe you should leave?

I brought some of my famous eight-meat stuffing. It's beef, venison, alligator, buffalo, rabbit, goat, rattlesnake and Spam. I cut all of the meats super thin, so that you're guaranteed every meat in every bite.

I thought you said you were leaving forever or something like that?

Have you ever even cracked open a book?

You did say just the other day that the only way to live is to play the long game.

I really hope you can come up with something better than that.

I can prove that you're the only person in this room we know for a fact is a murderer.

I saw you in the coffee shop the other day, reading one of your old Playgirl magazines.

Okay, look, there's just some stuff that doesn't add up.

Look, I've gone through all the suspects in my mind, and I can explain away all my suspicions for everyone except you.

Can we just talk this out, so you can help me see that I'm wrong?

I mean, it would fit in with your whole hard worker, let's find out the truth, never take no for an answer, awful personality.

Anything to redeem your beloved dead mother.

I can't rest when the killer's still out there, so I stayed behind to do some more research.

You're skinny and pretty, so that's a plus, but it's highly competitive, so you'd better be rich, too.

You know how at the beginning of the year, I was always secretly following you so I could just keep an eye on you, make sure you were safe?

I heard you talking to someone, but I couldn't hear what it was about.

Thank you for letting me talk about this, talk this out, and hear your side of the story.

Um, homely, ugly.

Gold digger! Not welcome.

No, no, too chunky to wear that outfit.

I'm fairly certain this board game's been tampered with.

And while my motivations were airtight and my conscience clear, still, I'm sorry.

I mean, no one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly not by what is, without a doubt, the most awful family in America.

I've honestly seen more tasteful decor at a Sizzler.

And you, sir, give the kind, hard-working, deeply moral people who work in such a wonderful industry as Hollywood a bad name.

I am walking out that door and never speaking to you again.

How could such a stud evolve from a boy who was so clearly a douche?

Oh, please, look, I-I was so bombed at that party. I mean, I remember I puked while I was making out with some girl, but there is no way that I could've found my way back down there 20 minutes later, let alone 20 years.

This is really embarrassing, um, but I started the paleo diet, because I'm back on the dating scene now, and I-I wanted to lose some weight.

I never saw a body down there.

I-I was a bit of a man slut back in the day, and it was the '90s, so nobody wore condoms.

I'm obligated to take it to the police.

What are you gonna do with the money?

didn't take the money, idiot.

Okay, first of all, I experienced extreme emotional trauma this evening, and second, I'm the one delegating tasks, thank you very much.

I couldn't find any matches.

I was sharpening this knife.

You haven't eaten yet, have you? I knew it!

You've come back. You've chosen me over your awful family.

First of all, my family is awesome. How dare you?

So, without further ado, dinner is served.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Light on me Ep 3&4

These two episodes very much convinced me to stay because I wasn't sure last week. But thankfully, we made a lot of progress with the characters and got more of their personalities. I am pretty fascinated by the way this drama plays out. Tae-Gyeong is a very interesting character who can read people like a book apparently. He likes to be honest but at the same time, he just reacts when people tell and ask him stuff. Like he doesn't really care nor mean it but feels the pressure of others watching him and waiting for an answer, so he reacts in some way. Agreeing to things he doesn't want to attend, like the blind date, and then making it awkward because he is awkward. He has the talent to express his emotions on point and his surroundings are either irritated or feel his emotions as well. I, as the audience, feel how his emotions are being projected onto me. And this is pretty fascinating to me and the reason why I will watch until the very end, no matter how the story will turn out, because I'm super impressed by that strategy an how well it works.

A character that fascinates me even more and makes me curious is Da-On. Tae-Gyeong can't read him, so I don't know much as well, but he gives me the vibe of a broken man, or at lest someone who pretends a lot.

He's not his real self at all and that makes me sad, just like Tae-Gyeong. I think Da-On feels the pressure of living up to expectations. He build up this image of being the nice kid who is always there to help out, so the people know what to expect from him, but he changed over the years or simply is not like that. This week, we see his vulnerability. He is annoyed and very stressed out about people coming and contacting him. Even when he doesn't have fun, he pretends he does and stays extremely nice which comes across as pretty creepy. He smiles very very much and you can tell, he just wants to cover up some parts of himself. The motto "What's good is good" sounds toxic for him and it's a pressure he puts on himself. I think that's why he doesn't want to brag about being a top student. That would mean he wouldn't have enough time for others because of studying. He's not proud to hear "he's oficially a nerd" (this is not a quote).

President Sin Da-On smiled, but I'm not sure if being nice to everyone is really a good thing, so I didn't smile back.

I would say, for Tae-Gyeong, Da-On is just a friend. He sees some true colors of Da-On and he knows Da-On rarely opens up, so he worships this newly found friendship, but I don't think he sees more in their relationship than just that. And I am not quite sure, if Da-On really has a crush on Tae-Gyeong. Tae-Gyeong is just what he wishes to be: honest. Showing honesty is tough for Da-On and he would rather live a miserable life than confess his unhappyness. This could maybe origin from his home, we don't know about his parents yet. What I just wanted to say is, I think Da-On and Tae-Gyeong find each other interesting because the other is what each wants to be. Tae-Gyeong wants to be nice to people, so he will make friends, and Da-On wants to be more honest, so he will be able to let everyone knwo his true self. As of right now, Da-On hides his true intentions pretty good, but Tae-Gyeong noticed them when they were on this blind date.

First, Da-On sits next to So Hee.

But after Tae-Gyeong say this:

Da-On does this:

Just so he won't have to sit next to the annoying So Hee. Later, he gets rid of her again. She makes him uncomfortable because she reminds him of all the fakery he is.

Let's get to Shin-Woo who couldn't be more obvious. He likes to tease Tae-Gyeong because he knows Tae-Gyeong won't stop reaching out and try to fix their broken bond.

I really don't like you!

He's just fine with pretending he just doesn't like Tae-Gyeong's persona without a particular reason. This way it's a lot easier for him to handle. He's probably overwhelmed by his feelings as well and still tries to deny them somehow, so he calls Tae-Gyeong "ugly" (he didn't use that word I think). His reaction to Da-On calling Tae-Gyeong "beautiful" was priceless. One (and I mean me) can interpret this into Da-On more or less being Shin-Woo's voice and encouraging him to stop denying his feelings. Yes, Da-On verifies, he himself got some feelings there, so Shin-Woo gets jealous, but that happens later on. Here, it more or less seems like Shin-Woo was caught in a lie which makes him cough because he's shocked. Scared to reveal his feelings out of the fear to chase Tae-Gyeong away, he chose to keep a distance.

Then the incident happens and since Tae-Gyeong helped him and saved him from any more harm without hesitation, he can't just go away. Tae-Gyeong helps Shin-Woo even though he pushes him away. This clearly shows Tae-Gyeong wants to know more about Shin-Woo, but Shin-Woo still doesn't know how to handle this kind of attention. He just turns defensive and shy, sticking to his original plan.

I think I don't have to insert a picture of the phonecall scene here. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. The scene is filled with confusion, awkward silence, a change of minds and something very warm-hearted. It is very nice to see these two being really confused what to do with this new situation they don't dislike but just don't know what it is. And the phonecall ends as random as it started with Shin-Woo panicing and Tae-Gyeong wondering what this nice feeling is.

Did you guys just greet each other?

Since the incident caused some icebreaking between them but they still don't kow how to handle their emotions - especially Shin-Woo - their interactions are funny but nearly hurt. It's very much cringe, but the good one.

I love this show so far. It has interesting and relatable characters. I sometimes feel like Da-On, like I'm just pretending to be nice but then I remind myself, I still give others a lot about myself. It's mostly not the whole me, but everyone gets parts of it, so me being nice is never really fake. So yeah, you know, I can relate to him in that matter.

[thekaijudude]

Ultraman Taiga Movie Analysis & Predictions

Back from watching the trailer for another dozen times just to see if there's any other clues

So let's start by getting the obvious out of the way first

1. Toregia is behind Taro's corruption

Why?

The appearance of the corrupted Storium Ray here is reminiscent of the corrupted Storium Blaster that Taiga fired at Titus when he was corrupted by Toregia

Also

Need I say more?

In addition

In the official website, Toregia and Kirisaki are stated to appear in the cast list

So, next question, in fact, probably one of the most important,

How?

So I think the answer to this lies in what exactly happened after Toregia and Taro both detonated their respective Ultra Dynamites

So prior to that, Toregia seemingly totally disintegrated Taiga, which led to Taro thinking that his son has just been killed directly in front of him

In a fit of rage and overwhelmed with grief, Taro let's his guard down and charges in with Ultra Dynamite, in which after usage, the user Ultra will temporarily disintegrate into light particles and has to reform

And during that period of time, let's not forget that Toregia wouldve also disintegrated into light particles, except that he's definitely corrupted as well, which meant that it's possible for his light particles to corrupt Taro's as we can presume that the Ultras are very vulnerable when disintegrated as we saw Fuma wasn't able to do anything when he was a crystal

Like what Mebius pointed out before in his series, it's a forbidden technique cause it's a risky move to use

Plus Taro's in a state of extreme grief, so this might be further dropped his guard which allowed Toregia to corrupt Taro without much difficulty

This further supports the reason why Toregia was able to escape Taro 15 years ago back in the M78 Universe

And perhaps Toregia was really addressing the corrupted Taro back in Taiga ep 15 when he corrupted Taiga

And this is also why he purposely didn't kill the Tri Squad, just so he can pit corrupted Taro against them in the movie, definitely something his sick mind would come up with

2. How does Grimude and Reiga fit into all of this?

Firstly, I suppose Taiga would eventually be able to reach out to Taro in his mindscape, just like how EGIS and the Tri Squad did to the then corrupted Taiga

But after that, let's talk about Grimude first

So since he's a 'Evil Demon God' of some kind, I suspect that he's the one responsible for corrupting Toregia in the first place, and perhaps may also be the one who corrupted Taro as well if we want to also say that Toregia is also in a vulnerable state while he's disintegrated to light particles

But by that logic, we can also say that Toregia may be totally not involved in this and everything has been under the influence of Grimude himself as he seeks to get directly involved and having Toregia to stand down this time

So after Taro regains control, either Grimude or Toregia will descend and directly challenge the New Gen

After a severe beatdown, all the New Gen fuses into Reiga and yep, final showdown

Not too surprising if it turns out this way considering that TsuPro has been really elusive with information this year

3. Additional important information

From the same official website, this part specifically:

2 things to point out:

a) Grigio's VA is on the list

This mean cancel last mic, Reiga will be a fusion of 11 Ultras

But this also means that we won't see Asahi cause she's not part of the cast list but only on the VA list

b) Powered has a VA

(Thanks to several of my followers pointing this out to me, I totally had no idea at first)

Of course, obvious question, what the fuck is Powered doing here?

Well, 2020 is Powered's 25th Anniversary and tbh I don't think he's gonna be in on the action

Like sure he's pretty much an Ultra Brother Level Glass Cannon, he's super fast, super strong in terms of brute strength and beam potency (potentially Ultra Brother Level) but iirc, his durability is really lacking

And considering that this is basically the New Gen movie, most likely he's just gonna play a side role, nothing really important, maybe as minor as Taro's appearance in the Geed Movie or something

Or unless he arrives also plays the same role as Grigio, which is definitely possible as with his ridiculous speed and beam potency, he's a pretty solid Ultra Brother Level long ranged support unit

4. Clarification on contradictory information

So let's recap, we received trademarks of Grimude, that was released alongside the Shin Ultraman trademark

We also received the Reiga trademark

These were corroborated in the leaked Bandai 2020 Item Catalog List:

But yet we don't see any VAs for Grimude in the official webpage

So what I think is going on is two possibilities:

a) Grimude won't be appearing in this movie

This would explain the lack of his VA

Which means Reiga would be taking on Toregia, most likely unsealed as although Toregia IS powerful, I don't think hes THAT POWERFUL enough to stand against an 11 Ultra Fusion, even unsealed tbh

But this could be reconciled by Taro stopping Reiga from landing the finishing blow on Toregia due to their past friendship

b) Grimude will be appearing in this movie

Tbh I'm leaning more towards this cause despite the lack of his VA, let's not forget that TsuPro has been very elusive with the information they've been relaying to the public, like they totally mislead us with the Q2 scans, UGF as well as till this day, we STILL don't have a Taiga movie catalog leak

So Grimude's VA was likely a purposeful omission

Cause Im definitely seeing a grand battle of two super powered beings going at it to end the Heisei Era officially and kick-start the Reiwa Era with a blast

[dawnofvillains]

Absolutely Smitten

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Prompt: Inspired by Dodie Clark's song of the same title, which you can listen to here

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,642

A/N: I just really love Dodie's music and this song is adorable and you should all go check out her YouTube channel/EP's for some great music.

Also, this gif doesn’t really fit the story at all, but it’s the only good one I could find with Peter in the same outfit as he’s in in this imagine. So yeah.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

You gazed idly out of the airplane window at the dazzling skyline below. There were tall skyscrapers surrounded by calm waters that reflected the blue in the sky. You took a deep breath. This was it. Goodbye long beaches of Los Angeles, California, hello busy streets of Queens, New York. You didn't like the idea of moving away from the only place you had called home, but you understood that this move was for the better. Your parents' business had just partnered with the infamous Stark Industries, and moving to Queens just made everything a lot less stressful on your mom and dad. Nevertheless, the journey to NYC was a difficult one for you. Saying goodbye to all your friends was the toughest part. You weren't necessarily the "popular" kid in school (you were more of the geeky, yet kind of cool one), but you still had some great friends that you hated to leave behind.

The voice of the pilot came through the speakers. He told the passengers that they were approaching the JFK International Airport and that landing procedures should be put into place. You turned your head to face your mother. She smiled at you and grabbed your hand, squeezing it gently. You leaned forward a bit so that you could see the seats across the aisle and caught your dad's attention. He smiled too. You looked back out the window. You saw the airport growing larger and larger as the distance between you and it decreased rapidly. You briefly squeezed your mom's hand again when the wheels of the plane touched the landing strip. You didn't hate landings, but you didn't love them either. The airplane slowly pulled into its docking station and you felt the engines shut down. You let go of your mom's hand and watched as passengers gathered their carry-on luggage before shuffling off the plane.

When you finally reached the front, you thanked the airline staff and pilots and stepped off onto the jetway. Your mom was in front of you and your dad was behind you. Walking into the actual airport, you could instantly feel the change in atmosphere. The hustle and bustle of it all was very distinctly New Yorker. Even though Los Angeles was a big city too, the atmosphere there was completely different than Queens. You couldn't quite figure out yet if you liked or disliked the change. It was definitely something you'd have to get used to.

The rest of the journey to your New York apartment was all a blur. There was customs and baggage claim at the airport, then finding the train to take you closer to your new home, and finally walking the streets of Queens until you found the right address. By the time you reached your destination, you were exhausted, both mentally and physically. You remembered your parents saying that your new apartment was on the seventh floor of the building. You groaned to yourself. Your parents waited for you, but you assured them that you would be up eventually. You wanted to take a moment to relax before you started the last trek of the journey. The last trek that felt very much the unwanted cherry on top of the metaphorical moving cake. Actually thinking about it for a moment, cake sounded really good right about now. Especially after everything that had happened in the past few days. You would definitely have to find a place that sold a decent slice of cake once you were settled in and everything.

"Hey! You need some help with that?

You were awoken from your (delicious) train of thought by a voice coming from behind you. You turned around and was met with one of the most good looking boys you had ever seen. He had soft brown curls and a perfectly structured face. He was wearing a jacket with a t-shirt underneath that had what looked to be two atoms having a conversation on it. As the boy come closer, you were able to read the speech bubbles on his shirt and smiled as you understood the written pun. This boy was both attractive and geeky. You were already smitten.

The boy stopped in front of you and looked at you expectantly. You then realized that he had just asked you a question and mentally face-palmed at your inability to act like a normal human being.

"What? Oh! Right! You just asked me a question, and that... question... was...?"

You struggled as you tried to remember what the boy had actually asked you. This was going well.

The boy chuckled. "I asked if you needed help with your things?"

You stared down at the numerous bags around your feet. Guess you had more things than you thought.

"Oh, um, you don't have to. I-I have to go up to the s-seventh floor, and I wouldn't w-want to, uh, force you t-to drag all these things up there," you said. Real smooth.

"You're going to the seventh floor? Me too! Wait, are you the new family moving in next door?" the boy asked.

"Um... I guess so?"

The boy smiled at you. You felt your heart skip a beat.

"That's awesome!" exclaimed the boy. "I wondered why there were all those people moving stuff into that apartment next door. That place has been empty for months. Not to sound rude or anything, but that's some pretty expensive looking furniture and such you've got yourself. Are your parents part of some big company or something?"

"Y-yeah, they are. The whole reason we moved here, actually, is because my parents just partnered with Stark Industries. So I guess that explains the expensive furniture. We were told that Mr. Stark would take care of 'setting the scene' for us," you said, laughing awkwardly.

You didn't like talking about your parents business. You knew from personal experience that a lot of people who learned about your economic standings tended to begin viewing you on some kind of pedestal. As if having money made you better than everyone else. You hated it. You weren't better than everyone else. If anything, you were probably below them all. You were awkward and nerdy and introverted. Still, you just wanted people to see you for you and not for your money. Surprisingly though, the boy looked completely unaffected about the fact that your parents were part of some big business.

"That's cool. I imagine the move was tough. Sorry about that," he said politely.

Good looks, geeky (based on his shirt), and well mannered? This just wasn't fair. Of course the first person you'd properly meet and talk to in New York would be a ridiculously charming guy. Meanwhile, you probably looked gross with your jet-lag no doubt showing in your face and your clothes being wrinkled from the various modes of transportation it took to get here. You were already completely hooked on the boy though. Something ridiculous inside of you wanted to believe that fate had made the two of you to meet for a reason. The boy was practically perfect. He probably had a girlfriend simply because of how perfect he seemed. Your face fell slightly. Luckily, you were able to play it off as remorse from moving.

"Yeah, it was challenging," you said.

"If you don't mind me asking, where did you move from?" the boy asked.

"California. Good old, LA," you explained.

"Wow. That's a long plane ride. You must be exhausted."

"You got that right."

"Well, in that case, I absolutely must help you with your bags. Not to say that you couldn't handle it yourself, I'm sure you could, but after what you've been through, I want to help."

Before you had the chance to respond, the boy picked up some of your belongings and smiled at you.

"You really are charming, aren't you?"

The boy stared at your quizzically before smirking and saying, "I don't know, am I?"

You instantly froze up. Did you just say that out loud? You totally just said that out loud. You couldn't believe your stupidity. You cursed quietly under your breath.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to– I mean, I did mean it– I mean, you are charming, but I didn't– I wasn't– I didn't mean to say it out loud," you stammered, freaking out. You had probably just ruined everything.

"No worries! If anything, hearing a nice compliment, from such a pretty girl as yourself, really helped boost my confidence. Not that I need any more of it," the boy chuckled. "I'm Peter, by the way."

That went surprisingly well. Okay, maybe things weren't completely ruined after all.

"I'm Y/N," you replied.

"Well, welcome to the neighborhood, Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

You smiled again as the two of you, bags in hand, headed towards the building. You genuinely could not believe it all. Less than twenty-four hours ago, you were an upset girl taking off from the only place you had called home. Now you were smiling with butterflies in your stomach over some handsome stranger you had met not even ten minutes ago. Well, not a total stranger. Peter was his name. You liked that name. It fit him well. You liked a lot of things about Peter. Hell, you liked almost everything about Peter. It was ridiculous and childish, but it was also fun. It was fun to feel this giddy so soon after moving to NYC. Maybe this was a good omen for the days to come. You sure hoped so. As you were ascending the stairs to the seventh floor, and to your new life as a Queens resident, you suddenly stopped mid-staircase. Something had just come to your realization, and you couldn't believe it. Peter stopped behind you and you turned to face him.

"You think I'm pretty?"

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

.

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

.

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

.

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

.

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

.

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

.

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

.

14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

.

18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

.

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

.

27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

.

28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

.

6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

.

13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

.

17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

.

18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

.

20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

.

21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

.

26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

.

27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

.

5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

.

15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

.

16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

.

24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

.

3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

.

12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

.

14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

.

19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

.

08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

.

16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

.

19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

.

9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

.

13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

[daikenkki]

DamEdwardurBoob: If Season 23 was nothing but footage of Ian McCue shitting onto a copy of the Island of Sodor book, people would STILL contort themselves to defend it as a bold new direction for the show, not a massive and knowing insult to the franchise's legacy.

SteamRanger2017: 🙄 yea sureeeeee so are you saying people that defend and like BWBA are a disgrace to the legacy of the franchise cause that's how do I put it? Silly.

DamEdwardurBoob: So how does the shit smell from inside your own asshole.

Ronniet73990657: Way to show respect for opinions there Buddy 🙄. arnd people wonder why this community is falling apart.

DamEdwardurBoob: If your opinion is wrong, it is wrong, and that quite frankly will be the end of this. Because I'm certainly not the one digging for every post where someone's going on about how BWBA is "good" and slandering it, but here you are regardless, the fine specimen that you are. I couldn't give a damn about how you feel, now kindly get bent.

SteamRanger2017: That is very Rude just because we don't mind the New direction of the show doesn't mean we should be treated as people who have disrespected the franchise it's people like you that make the Fandom so fucking divided and a LAUGHING Stock we have the classics. The Books and season 17-21 you have to accept that the show needed to change at some point!

DamEdwardurBoob: The show did change. Seasons 17-20, that was good, it gave it what it needed for the modern age, and I will not argue that. BWBA is desperation and a poor attempt by a company to try and make it reach a profit margin it will never attain. And episodes like "Forever and Ever" are nothing but derogatory and hateful to Edward, Henry, the franchise, it's history, it's current target audience, and everyone still around on twitter.

SteamRanger2017: But does it give you the right to tweet about bending people for liking it? Last time i check there was no such thing as a wrong opinion...

DamEdwardurBoob: I can say what I think, if you think I'm being too mean well I guess that's a you problem. Also not hearing any arguments aside from "people are allowed to like it geeze!!!!!", quality content.

SteamRanger2017: I feel like you being slightly childish in some of your statements i understand your anger. I too was made about the changes but after awhile i started to accept reality The show was going to change and that's it there is nothing we can do about it.

DamEdwardurBoob: Still not hearing a counterargument, just more "Its not for you, grow up and accept change!!!"

Change was Season 17, and the show was better off for it, now its just a shill, but if that's your thing by all means, watch and support a company that has stopped caring about the brand. If you want to comment on my posts and enlighten me that I'm being mean, by all means. It doesn't mean I'm not going to reply with exactly what I think about what you said.

SteamRanger2017: Ok. But you have to accept the Fact TTTE has changed and we don't have a right to bully others for liking it. I hope you will have a great day and will think about what I said.

DamEdwardurBoob: Or I can state the obvious and if people are upset at me for being "mean" that is their own problem, sure as shit ain't mine. Enjoy your safe space.

SodorNumberSix: What's making it such a tragic turn for the show is not only how much it throws everything out the window. Just the fact it's something that didn't need to happen. The toys Mattel made had bloody nothing to do with what TTTE was and stopped selling for that that reason. Mattel wants to act like TTTE is every show out there, by damaging the franchise in ways that don't need to happen!

DamEdwardurBoob: Mattel cannot accept the fact that Thomas' poor sales are due to the fact that not everyone is interested in toy trains, which is what Thomas is at it's core. And just because something is highly recognized in pop culture does not mean all those people are interested in buying it. Thomas had it's cultural boom in North America in the mid to late 90s, it's gone downhill since then; the best thing for the brand would be to target it at the people who are actually interested, not to stores like Walmart where most aren't going to give it a fleeting glance. But Mattel refuse to accept that it won't work, so they keep shoving the square peg in the round hole.

Ryansock03: Can people not like the newer episodes? They may not be what the previous seasons were but people genuinely enjoy these new eps/movies.

DamEdwardurBoob: If you can't see this new season and BWBA for what it actually is you're doing nothing but being an apologist. Literally one of the biggest shills for a quick buck I've seen.

Nick_HBS: “Knowing insult” sums up why BWBA is worse than 8-16. With those, the team didn’t know better. Here, they’re outright ADMITTING they’re disregarding Awdry and Allcroft’s works. Yet you have Mattel shills still saying “it’s super close to the RWS!” No the fuck it’s not.

Ronniet73990657: I don't think the S8-16 part is really true. There were plenty of people who knew exactly what they were doing, however HiT forced them to do otherwise. It's probably the same case with Mattel right now.