#(I’m finally getting around to reading the graphic novel which is why I’m thinking about this lol)

[timelesslords]

If you like the post-apocalyptic and worldbuilding and religious deconstruction and found family aspects of tlou I am B E G G I N G you to read parable of the sower by Octavia E. Butler it’s so good you will not regret it I promise

[she-karev]

Pregnancy (One Shot Request, Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Hey guys I see you liked my last post and I got a one-shot request to do another time skip for Amber and DeLuca. I hope you guys like it and I’m up for one shot requests if you have any. I'll try to post part two by Wednesday.

Summary: Amber gets bored during maternity leave and texts Andrew who comes over.

Words: 1741

October 20, 2022

I sit crisscross on the king bed making a lazy raspberry sound as I flip through the pages of Watchmen. Graphic novels aren’t what I usually read but I got desperate after finishing the whole shelf of books in the study. I’ve read everything from classics like Jane Eyre to new releases like Iron Widow. After that I asked Levi for a recommendation, and he immediately dropped off this huge comic book. The art is good, the storyline is surprisingly relevant to society’s political landscape and the characters are interesting. But it has barely kept me from chronic boredom that comes from maternity leave or as I like to call it, maternity prison.

My little sidekick is in her eighth month of gestation and it’s pretty evident to anyone with eyes given how I look like Pluto. If Pluto had boobs and was wearing her husband’s Harvard shirt with gray sweatpants. After the New Year I told Andrew that I was ready for us to start trying to have a baby. The pandemic was over, I was caught up in my residency thanks to Webber and Andrew was finally back in the O.R. as a general surgery attending. The timing couldn’t be better and around March we found out we were pregnant and then a few months later we found out we were having a girl. There was a bump when the residency program shut down for a bit but it restarted with a new batch of interns and me being promoted to Chief Resident.

Unfortunately, that joy was short lived, I had to go on maternity leave about a few weeks later when the exhaustion kicked in at 35 weeks and I’ve been glued to the bed ever since. And to make matters worse Levi was assigned temporary Chief Resident so that was another cloud looming over my head. The only thing that keeps me somewhat sane in this bed is my husband and baby daddy coming home and detailing every step of his surgeries so I don’t become dumb. Which is why I sent an impulsive text that I’m sure will make Andrew angry at me.

I hear running out in the hall and the door bursts open revealing Andrew in his navy scrubs and blue fleece telling me he came straight here the second he got my text. He looks around worried until he finds me criss cross in the middle of the bed looking healthy as a clam despite my text saying 911. I grin at him trying to look innocent so he doesn’t get too mad at me for worrying him because I was bored and needed contact with the outside world.

“Hi honey.” I greet him normally and he looks at me in shock before confusion sets in his face and I explain, “I might have possibly fibbed in my text don’t be mad.”

“You-” Andrew groans frustrated before laying it out, “You texted me 911.”

“I know.” I take a sip of my water bottle as Andrew walks to the edge of the bed staring down at me clearly peeved.

“I came straight here from work because my very pregnant wife texted me 911 and I was afraid she was in labor or bleeding out. But instead, I find her in bed chilling and acting like she didn’t almost give me a heart attack!” I wince at the exclamation, “God Amber what is wrong that you have to scare me like that?”

“I can’t be held accountable.” Andrew scoffs at my excuse and I continue, “I can’t be held accountable for my misguided actions because your baby and me have gone insane from bed rest and boredom. Will it make you feel better if I said sorry for almost scaring you to death?”

Andrew’s face softens slightly, “Well I think the knots in your hair are punishment enough so yes.”

I look in the vanity mirror to my left and see that my normally composed blonde hair is all over the place due to laying on my pillow for 10 hours. I look back and see my husband grinning amused already past his anger and I frown at that, “Yeah that’s right laugh at your pregnant wife who has permanent bed head let’s see how that ends for you.”

I stand on my knees and crawl over to the edge to face Andrew who chuckles while I pout, “Okay in all seriousness is there a logical reason why you texted me 911 when there is nothing emergent?”

“I’m bored out of my freaking mind.” I explain bordering on yelling while Andrew is looking at me affectionately with his bright green eyes, “I’ve been at home for five weeks, five weeks, do you have any idea what that is like?!”

“I have a feeling your gonna tell me.” Andrew puts his hands on my hips to keep me steady.

I hold up Watchmen to prove my point of how bored I am, “I’ve read all the books in our shelves I always say I’m gonna finish, I tried watching Netflix but you know it just makes me miss human contact more and to top it off while I’m shackled to this bed like that lady in Gerald’s Game my husband is at work saving lives and actually making a difference because unlike me he doesn’t have a big bowling ball under his shirt. And I think the baby is bored too and she sent that text because she’s hungry for more of your surgery stories and a reminder that there’s a world outside this bed. She’s very stubborn about what she wants.”

“She takes after her mother.” Andrew quips in amused and I narrow my eyes at him causing him to chuckle, “Look I know it’s hard being cooped up in here but you heard what the OB said bedrest is important and you were reaching your limit. I had to practically carry you out of the hospital when I found you passed out after your 18 hour shift in the pit.” I groan at that memory because it’s when I admitted I was exhausted and ordered to go on leave until after the baby was born, “You were doing the work of eight people it’s not good for your stamina and it would’ve affected the baby too.”

“You don’t know that.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I continue, “I’m like an M1-A1, it’s a tank and it can survive anything and get the job done.” I look down at my huge belly pouting at my changing body, “I mean I’m already as big as a tank right now and my bikini days are getting narrower by the minute.”

“I never really liked bikini’s anyway.” He’s trying to console me again which he always does when I complain about how big I’m getting, “You look way better in that sweater than some tacky string.”

“Stop being nice, you know my hormones make me unpredictable.” I remind him again, “The nicer you are the more it makes me want to choke hold you.”

“In that case you look like a bloated whale.” Andrew jokes and it doesn’t amuse me at all, “Better?”

“Not in the least.” I sigh and wrap my arms around the back of Andrew’s neck and say sweetly, “Just stay here and tell me stories about life on the outside.” I run my fingers through his wavy hair to add effect but it doesn’t work. He looks enticed but he’s gotten stronger against my seductions over the years.

“I can’t, I have a surgery this afternoon.” He steps back to my disappointment, “Plus I gotta help Marsh with the skills lab for the interns while Hunt is in the ER. And as much as I want to, I can’t stay here because your bored or Grey will reprimand me. Find something to do while I’m working so the time will pass by and you won’t be so bored.”

Suddenly a light bulb goes off in my head on how I can keep myself busy, “Your right.”

He exhales in relief and turns to leave, “Thank god I’ll see you tonight, I love you.”

“Oh no I’m coming with you; you’re taking me to work.” I get off the bed, go to our closet and put a black coat over my clothes and slip into my black crocs. I can see Andrew turning to face me again with an annoyed look.

“That is not happening babe.” He tells me bluntly but I don’t listen as I grab my purse, “Okay you and the baby need to listen to me. I am not taking you two to a hospital with the germs and blood and diseases it’s not happening I’m putting my foot down.”

I widen my eyes at that and he emphasizes by crossing his arms against his chest, “I’m just gonna watch from the gallery and catch up with my friends and see if Schmitt is still alive. It’s not like I’m getting a scalpel come on man.”

Andrew stands his ground, “Nope still not happening, if you want new books order on Amazon and get express, I don’t care about the price as long as it keeps you in bed and following doctor’s orders.”

“I’m a doctor, you’re a doctor, our siblings are doctors and all of our friends are doctors. I’m pretty sure we both know what’s safe and not safe for me and the baby too.” I remind him, “A hospital is the best place for me to kill time because if I go into labor, I just have to walk five steps to a bed in OB. Please take me with you, think of it like take your daughter to work day.”

He looks at my belly and back up at me, “I think we’re a little early for that.”

“Take me with you.” I sternly command.

“No.” Andrew says with finality causing me to narrow my eyes at him as he keeps a composed face. I mimic his stance crossing my arms across my chest and glaring at him to assert dominance. Even in my condition I stand as his equal and he knows it, he knows I won’t go down without a fight so he has to do the same. We stand there silently for a few moments, me in my pajamas and him in his scrubs, waiting for one of us to budge.

Next Part Here

[boa-h]

【Trafalgar Law】 Not Just A Cliché Love Story

*requests are opened guys! stop being shy and give me something to write >:(

7 o’clock in the morning, you welcome another brand new day. That’s what you want to say, but the truth is, other than being the beginning of another 24 hours, there’s nothing else to it.

Wake up.

Get ready.

Go out.

Do work.

Eat dinner.

Go sleep.

It’s the same everyday, every season, every year. Nothing ever changes.

Maybe aside from the fact that there’s summer and winter breaks.

You stared at the graphic novel on your phone screen. Were you supposed to study for an exam? Which exam was it again? You can’t remember, but whatever.

You scrolled through the panels, pausing to read when the male character finally proposed to the female character. You wonder if you would also be able to experience that someday.

You know you are nothing special. You’re average looking, an average student, and an average human being with an average social class. Maybe you’ll never light up someone’s youth like they describe it in the romance novels, and maybe you’ll never experience a vigorous relationship like what they have either. But you do have someone to think of when the word “crush” is mentioned.

Trafalgar Law.

He’s a smart student, however not as popular as you’d think he would be.

Black hair, black eyes, dark circles, some golden piercings, well-built, yes, oh and polka dot jeans and hat. To be honest, if his face wasn’t shaped the way that it is, he wouldn’t be half as good looking as he is right now.

He doesn’t talk a lot, but you remembered all his likes and dislikes through his conversation with friends.

Law sits behind you in class, not directly behind, but close enough. You often glance back at him during break time, as he gets annoyed with his friends’ loudness.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” You’ve lost count on how many times your friend has told you this, “Come on, we’re going to graduate soon! At least, try.”

“Maybe.” You always reply.

On the day of graduation, people signed each other’s yearbooks, and then went to the grassy field to take pictures. It was a clear day, with blue sky and white clouds. Small beads of sweat formed on your philtrum and forehead due to all the running and walking around. The sun hung up in the sky as the camera snapped a photo of your class. With your friends’ encouragement, you stood next to Law, and it will remain there forever in the picture.

“Go.” Your friend nudges you. 

You suddenly feel hotter than ever, the palms of your hands moist with sweat and you can barely hear a sound from around you.

You mastered up the courage to find Law. He was probably taking pictures with other people right now.

When you found him, he was alone in the shades of a tree. You were about to go up to him when a girl came running, handing him a bouquet of flowers.

That’s his sister. You recognize her. But it was school day, ah, she’s probably on lunch break right now. You thought.

Unwilling to waste another minute of her lunch break. Lami ran back into the building as fast as she could after saying a word of congratulations.

You chuckled.

Seeming to notice the noise, Law turned to look at you. You froze in place.

“Congratulations on graduating.” He smiled after saying your name.

That was the first time you‘ve seen him smile, even in the three years of sitting in the same classroom together.

“A-ah, congratulations to you, too!” You paused for a moment, just as he was about to speak again, you opened your mouth, “um, actually, I… I’ve been liking you for quite a while! If I have a chance, I don’t want to miss it! So…”

“I’m glad.” He cut you off, “Thank you!”

Eh? You looked up to him, he was smiling brightly but it sounds like you’re going to get rejected.

“I was going to tell you, but you spoke first.” He handed you the flowers, “I got these for you, actually.”

You let out a small gasp. No way.

“Let’s go out.” He grinned.

Maybe it wasn’t an interesting love story, but for you, it’s enough.

Being average doesn’t mean you can’t shine a light into someone else’s world.

[7er1ch0]

What if MC was the artist for the TSL graphic novel

So I got a bit to go before the new genshin update, so to kill time I'm going to write the most self indulgent obey shit that has been on my mind for the past few days.

*it's exactly what it sounds like

*I’m not sure if it was brought up at one point of TSL having a graphic novel, but a bunch of popular books and franchises eventually get a graphic novel made of it, so it's not unlikely

*Anyway, starting off, You and Simeon knew each other before the events of the game.  

*Agreeing to illustrate books, demand to talk to the author to take even more thorough notes than whatever the original books were going to give them.

*Whether or not Simeon realizes that his book is prophetic, and that Mc is technically Henery, it doesn't really matter.  He agrees to meet up, talk shop about the characters, what kinda designs would be wanted/backgrounds/expressions/body language ect ect.  

*This leads to Simeon describing the brothers in very different ways.  Some will be entirely appearance, some will be certain mannerisms, different interests, and whatnot.  

*They stay in touch during the illustrating process and well past that cause its Mc and that otome protagonist powers are strong.

*Anyways, times pass, and you get yanked into he- The Devildom.

*Slowly starts recognizing the brothers, and small things fall into place cause Simeon you ain’t slick.

*Also

*Diavolo - “Allow me to introduce you, Mc.  This is-”

*Mc- “SIMEON! YOU FUCKING NERD” *Simeon - “Mc, it's been too long”

*Diavolo - “wait-”

*Anyway onto the good shit

*Levi

*”The second lord attempted to steal the lord of corruption’s platypus, which could lay golden eggs”

*They hear Solomon say that once, don't even wait for Levi to finish.  

*”i know you’re just repeating Solomon to get on my good side”

*Lore dumps how the Lord of Corruption not only got the platypus but why it could lay golden eggs.

*access into Levi’s room achieved (kinda)

*Levi’s being his good ol’ self, saying how just because you know a ‘bit’ about TSL doesn't make us friends or anything even close.  And just because you tricked the dumbest of us into a pact (HEY!) doesn't mean you should even think about coming after me.

*It keeps going like that for a while.  And then it turns back around to TSL and how they probably just read that off the fan wiki and aren't a real fan.

*Excuse me

*This just became the battle of the nerds which poor Solomon and Mammon are stuck in the crosshairs of.

*It finally escalates to You challenging him to a TSL trivia battle

*no goating needed this time, Levi’s accepts immediately 

*”Mc, why are we going to Simeon”

*”I just need his permission Mammon, then I will destroy his faith in friendship, brotherhood, and the goodwill of man.”

*The competition was brutal

*and at the very end

*”Wh…what…?...NO!  THAT’S INSANE…THE LORD OF MASKS WOULDN'T DO THAT TO THE LORD OF SHADOWS!”

*What You had presented was a section of the unreleased 9th edition rough draft of TSL.

*Victory felt oh so sweet

*Until Levi tried to commit murder.

*But, you win, another pact mark under the belt and another story to tell the grandkids

*next morning

*”So, how did you get the script?  Was it leaked or something, it can't be I would have heard about it…”

*”Levi, you have the graphic novels of TSL don't you, of course you do.  Do me a favor and go get it”

*Shortly after leaving the table there is a scream and a loud thud coming from upstairs. 

[jariten]

September + October 2022 roundup!!

There just wasn’t that much happening each of these months, at least that I personally found super noteworthy, so why not splice them together!

First off: I got my first order from Glacier Bay Books! Very happy with what I got (Saving Glaeolia 3 for a slow month). Def one I’d recommend is Dream Another Dream by Shinnosuke Saika. This compiles 3 stories centred around loss and loneliness all from their Sleepy Child series, not included is the story Tonio that you can get separately. Will definitely be coming back for more! Drawn & Quarterly also released another manhwa! Yeong-Shin Ma’s Artist. Moms is already a graphic novel I think everyone should read so I was nervous about how Artist would live up to it and it didn’t disappoint. Once again we’re giving a compelling story of friendship turned rivalries, the weight of living under capitalism, and unbearable jealousy. But unlike Moms and its sympathetic main cast, Artist gives us the worst people you know serving great human drama. You can get the all-in-one english edition from Drawn & Quarterly or read it in korean on Kakao

2022 has finally made me a believer in Yuri manga, I’ve been harsh in the past anymore but that’s not me anymore I finally #respect yuri and lesbian manga bc finally the adult romances in the english market is starting to match the high school ones. She Loves To Cook and She Loves To Eat by Sakaomi Yuzaki is a slow blossoming romance between two women and their love of food with all the excitement of making friends and having a crush as an adult. A live action drama based on the series is also premiering on Nov 29th on NHK!  After a 3 year wait... it finally appeared... the second and final (for now) volume of The Poe Clan by Moto Hagio is finally out and this milestone work in manga history is finally 100% accessible in english. After reading Volume 1 and A Drunken Dream (both of which got reprinted this year!) back to back in 2019 I became a true Hagio believer. I think I’ve read the series twice over now and I’m just always amazed by how thanks to the historical setting it feels so timeless to me. Its her most popular and accessible work for a reason. Since the fantagraphics edition compile the stories in the order they were serialized volume 2 contains the latter part of the serialization where the art was a bit more consistent across chapters and there’s a few more recurring characters. I was going to list my favorite chapters but looking at them again... I can’t really pick. Just know that you’re in for a treat. 

Gradually making progress on the scanning but there’s still a lot to catch up on so unfortunately the return of the queue is not happening anytime soon. Once again thank you for your patience and see you soon!

[mercerislandbooks]

50 Years of Island Books: The Staff

This 50 Years of Island Books series is about to reach the grand finale, because November is only a few weeks away and it's almost time to pop the champagne. Since April, I've talked to booksellers and owners from years past, sales reps, and many beloved local authors to paint a picture of what Island Books has meant to the community and how it evolved into the place it is today.

Now, I'm turning my attention to the people who show up hour to hour, in the here and now, to make the store the living, breathing wonderland that it is and will be in 2023 and beyond. On a rainy Monday when the store was closed for cleaning, I pulled them aside for some heart-to-hearts.

So many times we come in and say a quick hi to these friendly booksellers, the face of a familiar place we know and love, but it's rare we think about who they are as people and what they think about as they work. I've known many of them for years and have watched the staff evolve. From my little perch, I can honestly say that they put so much love into what they do, and that our island community wouldn't be the same without them.

Side note: since I already cornered the longest tenured Island Books employee for a separate blog, Cindy only makes a tiny (and fun) appearance via Caitlin in this post. If you want to learn more about Cindy, click here.

To our Island Books booksellers—we love and appreciate all of you. Truly. Now let's get into it.

Miriam: I'm so happy to have a chance to talk to each of you. Let's start with, which book category excites you the most, and why?

Brad: Any day I can turn someone onto the Russians, like Checkhov, Tolstoy, or Dostoevsky, or someone less read, like Pushkin, is a great day. Jorge Luis Borges is a favorite for customers looking for a literary blend of fantasy and science fiction literary. He's Argentinian, and his voice differs from many other classic authors. There are so many large and small presses putting out reprints.

Becca: I'm largely a sci-fi, fantasy, and romance person. I’m not averse to other categories, but the books that I drop everything to read tend to be one of those genres (or fairy-tale retellings). I also love curling up with a good Middle Grade or Young Adult fiction.

Lori Robinson: The genre I get the most energy around right now is romance. I read widely, but I have my favorite places I like to land, although every once in a while something different catches my eye.

Caitlin: I love to sell the books I like to read: short story collections, literary fiction, translated fiction, poetry, some memoirs, and art and ballet history. When I first started at Island Books, a lot of people said, “Oh, short stories don’t sell here.” But I'm happy to say that isn't the case anymore.

Nancy: I like to read literary fiction and good narrative nonfiction, generally science and history.

Lillian: I think people would assume that I read a ton of kids books, but I’m around them so much and read them for work—at least 600 picture books a year (!), so for my own pleasure, I read mostly mystery, romance, and fantasy. 

Miriam: As a group, you have a wide variety of tastes, which is great for customers. Now, tell me about your proudest accomplishments at Island Books.

Brad: I love to draw signs. I’m a part-time illustrator with a cartoony style, maybe because I’m a big graphic novel fan.

Becca: It’s fun to have become a person that customers ask for book recommendations. -- I still feel fairly new (2 years under my belt now), but to have become an integral part of something I love so much is awesome.

Lori Robinson: Mine would be the year we sold over 200 copies of Amy Snow by Tracey Rees in six months because I kept hand selling it. It was the first time I realized the impact a bookseller could have on the success of a book that wasn’t getting all the media attention.

Caitlin: Mine would be proving that our customers do like short stories.

Nancy: I'm proud of the many stories over the years that I could bring home to my family, and tell them how we found the perfect book for a customer’s dying mother or a kid having an issue, things like that. And the funny ones—we used to have a customer who loved to give a certain book to his lady friends. Whenever we saw that title on order, everyone knew he had a successful date! I think he single-handedly kept that book in print. I sure didn’t have those kind of stories when I worked as a web designer.

Miriam: There's no job quite like bookselling, is there? Those are great answers. Can you give an example of when you felt a deep connection with a customer or the community?

Becca: When a kid comes in and says they like fairy tales and you realize that kid is exactly who you were as a small child. Then you give them a pile of books and they buy all of them and you’re like, yes, I’ve found mini-me! Or having someone call back or come in the next time and say, "What you gave me for my grandkid was exactly what I needed and they loved it".

Lori Robinson: I have a certain customer who I remember coming to our door during the pandemic and saying, “Just pick two books out for me, I’ll read anything you want." That trust is challenging. When I don’t know someone, I really want to take care of it and give people good choices. Anytime someone buys a book that I write a blog about, that warms my little heart. And I love when someone comes in and I think, I would never guess you’d read this book, and then they say, “I love this book!” I just love that we all get to like what we like.

Caitlin: One of our customers who loves short stories—having that customer come to me for recommendations is really nice, and an honor because she’s also a big reader, a school librarian, and a mother. I love sharing a common love of certain books with individual customers.

Nancy: Here's my quirky fact - This will be the second 50th anniversary of a bookstore I’ve attended this year. The other one I went to recently was for Red and Black Books, where I used to work with former Island Books bookseller Kay Wilson. I saw her there. Talk about long-time connections.

Lillian: I actually have a really clear one. Earlier this year, a mom came in and said that her queer child felt welcomed and happy to be at the store, and she was so thankful that her child had thought to mention how welcome they felt. I almost started to cry on the spot and it makes me tear up thinking about it. 

Miriam: That's amazing. It's nice to know that your experiences in the store are just as meaningful to you as they are to the customers. I love hearing this good stuff, and I’m also interested in hearing about a challenge you overcame.

Brad: At first I would have said, wrapping, and it’s something I didn’t expect. I had no idea! People on Mercer Island really know how to give gifts. Drawing quickly is also a challenge.

Caitlin: I wish more people would give books I like a try. People will come in and want to read whatever is the bestselling book. What I say is, “What are you in the mood to read?” and then go from there, because not everyone needs to read bestsellers or classics. They’re not in school. Read what you want.

Nancy: There are a lot of books! We like a lot of books, but more and more books come out and we don’t have the space to shelve everything. We can order it, but we can’t stock everything. So every quarter, it’s a huge challenge to say, these are the books we’re going to commit to. 

Lillian: The honest challenge is to stay interested after reading so many books over so many years. What I realize after I go through another season is that the books are different, that’s the great thing about books. Sometimes customers want the same thing over and over, and those things become classics and that’s fine, but for the majority of customers and definitely for me, I have to see what’s different, otherwise, it can get repetitive.

Miriam: Great answers that speak to so many years on the job. Here's another question. How would your colleagues describe you?

Brad: Friendly and kind, I would hope. A good listener.

Becca: Enthusiastic and willing. Laurie says I’m sassy. I'm also the youngest and got sucked into the social media part of things pretty quick, so I get a lot of the, hey, younger generation, technology, things.

Lori Robinson: I know that I’m pretty calm and unflappable when it comes to dealing with whatever you’ve got to deal with.

Caitlin: Oh, ha, here’s a note from Cindy about this question. She said I’m literary and quirky, and a name-dropper. And I was like, “Yeah…I think that’s pretty accurate.”

Nancy: Brilliant, friendly, kind to everyone, no-nonsense. You know. All the good stuff.

Lillian: I’m definitely the squeaky wheel. I guess what they’d say is that I get things done. That’s the thing. I get things done.

Miriam: These answers cracked me up (including the ones that aren't making it to print!). OK, let's do a fantasy question now. What would you do with it if someone gave you one million dollars to improve the book business and/or promote literacy?

Brad: Open more dream bookstores and do them the way I always wanted.

Becca: The industry is already diversifying the characters and cultures in books, and I’d find ways to support that. Everyone deserves to see themselves in what they read.

Lori Robinson: I’d love to do something to fight book bans. Working at the bookstore has opened my eyes to what banning books does, and I appreciate that it’s changed my view on experiencing things rather than being afraid of them.

Caitlin: I’d start with free nationwide healthcare for people earning under a certain amount of money. I grew up in a household filled with books, and I think it’s important for kids to grow up with their own books, and that takes parents earning a living wage. 

Nancy: This is because I’m such a nuts-and-bolts person, but I’d get rid of dust jackets and have everything be paper on board so that we have less damages to deal with. Saves money and they’re annoying.

Lillian: I’d reverse this trend of prices going up because that would make independent bookstores more accessible to people who shop online because it’s cheaper. There are people who can’t afford to shop in independent bookstores, and if you remove that barrier, it would just open up that handpicked-for-you element that can be so special for kids, and adults too.

Miriam: Ah, if only booksellers ran the world. How about this. If I were to work with you in the store for a month, what would I learn about bookstore life that I can’t possibly gather from a brief interview?

Becca: A lot of people don’t know that we get new releases every single Tuesday, or that we get books sent to us a week before they come out so we have them on the actual release day. So many books, all the time.

Caitlin:��Customers are pretty savvy. Obviously, there’s that old idea that booksellers and librarians are just sitting around reading all day, but it’s not true, there’s a lot of work. It’s physical work, you’re constantly bending and putting things away.

Nancy: Well I’m sure everyone says, we do not have time to read while we’re working. They also might not know just how much we really know our customers. Sometimes when we’re going through a catalog, we’ll say, “Oh, I know who will like that book.” And we get that book for that particular person in our community. The two big trends in the past years are the normalization of queerness in fiction and nonfiction, so we really have a tiny LGBTQ section, because, there aren’t really any queer novels anymore—they’re mainstream. I love that. The other thing is Tiktok. It’s been crazy for us getting younger women and girls in the store. And we wish Tiktok could work that way for boys too. We now see these backlist authors getting a second wind because of Tiktok and that’s so interesting as a trend. The third thing that everyone is talking about is AI. One of the things that we have on our radar and it’s been coming up in the book world is fake books. We’re seeing them more and more in the travel and cookbook categories. Our job as curators is more important than ever. We’re working with reputable publishers, we’re looking at every book that comes in the store, we’re recommending books. I think with AI, people are becoming even more important. 

Lillian: How much time we spend just putting books away and tidying up and keeping things alphabetized. I can’t tell you how much we hum the alphabet to keep bookshelves in order. And working with me in particular, I’d say that I come across much more serious than I really am. 

Miriam: You all have to be so organized. Let's move on to my final question. What does being part of a small business within a community mean, and how do you play a role in it?

Brad: One of the best things about working at Island Books is how the community supports the store. And it’s not just about books. We’re a hub. About six months after I started, a woman came in and said her car wouldn’t start. Does anyone know how to jump a car? And I said, I can help. She didn’t know me, but she knew I worked at Island Books, so she knew we'd pitch in.

Becca: People are so committed to the small-town vibe here, everyone knowing each other. It’s so cool to see my colleagues interact with all these customers and they know their names and who they are. I also admire the way we work with other small businesses in the community. Everyone is invested in each other.

Lori Robinson: It’s funny for me, because I went to middle school and high school here, and I worked on the south end for longer than I care to admit, but all of that built a lot of relationships for me, the kind where you see people every day. It’s strange to have people to come in who have kids who were four when I met them and are now graduating from college and starting their careers. When I think about being part of a bookstore, I hope that there are some kids and regular customers who have felt like we’ve offered them a safe place and that I’ve personally been a safe person to talk to who they know won’t judge them or what they like to read. It means a lot to people when we remember them. I hope we offer a warm moment and a good experience.

Caitlin: With the exception of Laurie (and Becca, who is moving off-island), none of the staff lives on the island. So I guess we feel we’re representatives of the store and the community and it’s our responsibility to make people feel welcome.

Nancy: I feel like I have really grown with Mercer Island. I don’t live here, but I feel like I’ve really gotten to know this community. I worked for Roger for six years and I’ve worked for Laurie for almost seven, and we see kids grow up, we see people age, we have a lot of customers who have died over the years, and you’re kind of going through life cycles with people. We’ve seen the build up of Mercer Island, the businesses who are all working together now—it didn’t used to be like that. The community feels more like they appreciate their community too. I think our customers really stepped up during Covid and realized, we love this place, and we need it. They’ve been great.

Lillian: As the kids’ specialist, it’s different, because I spend a lot of time chatting with the community kids. I get to watch them grow up. There are people that come in who are going to high school that eight years ago I was recommending chapter books to. So, to have a hand in helping kids become life-long readers, and enhancing how important it is, is great. I always say I’m lucky to not be the teacher or parent because I don’t have to worry about the academics. I worry about, how can I make this kid love books so much that they will be a reader for the rest of their life?

Miriam: Right? That makes so much sense. Thanks, everyone. What a cool crowd. I adore all of you and am so glad you're in my life, and everyone else's!

Next week, for my final installment of 50 Years of Island Books, I'll be talking with the owner, Laurie Raisys, and it'll be a good one. See you soon.

—Miriam

[olivieblake]

Hi Olivie!!! So, I have been severely slacking in sending you praise for all the works I’ve read of yours this year (very sorry life is chaotic this year truly). But, I am here finally to offer some words on everything I’ve read so far! I will try to keep it short (it’s nearly impossible for me, I'm a rambler, I am very sorry) but I’ll split it up into 2 parts so it’s not too insane hopefully. My goal is still to finish your blacklist this year and I’m close so fingers crossed I can do it!!

(Spoilers for Alpha graphic novels and Fairtytales of the Macabre included)

Alpha Graphic Novels:

These were so fun! I got really invested in the characters/the world really quick and just flew through them! Chmura’s art is STUNNING and it really helped me feel immersed in the world and I tabbed a lot of pages just because of the art alone it was beautiful. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ENDING OF VOL II: RISING THOUGH??? LIKE MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR TAU IS BACK???? I shipped them so hard in book 1 and was so upset when he “died” but WHAT OMG??? Fingers crossed that when things start to (maybe possibly idk) slow down in a few years you guys can finish it because I’m DYING to know what happens.

Atlas Six Re-Read:

I’ve already sent you a long ask a year ago about my love for this book so I will not make you bored and rehash everything. But, I still love them <3 (well everyone but Callum I’m sorry). So excited for Paradox this month! I’m actually going to one of your tour dates for it so I will see you then 🥺🥺🥺 (will try my hardest to talk to you but we shall see how nervous I get 😂) Although trying to decide if I should bring all your books with me to get singed or just a few so I can actually talk to you is SO hard. I gotta do some priority picks hahaha.

Fairytales of the Macabre:

Pins and Needles: Such a fun story to start off with. I love some vengeance and some obsession so I really enjoyed this story! I remember reading it and feeling like Masters and Charms lowkey gave me NicoLibby vibes (I really don’t think that’s intentional but I love nicolibby too much so I see them everywhere hahaha). The plot twist ending was insane too!!

The Animation Games: OLIVIE BESTIE A MURDER COMPETITION LOVE STORY WITH REINCARNATION TROPE WHO ARE YOU (in the best way) AND WHY DID I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH. I really never wanted to stop reading about Bran and Rhosyn’s strange beautiful love story. AND YOU BLESSED ME WITH A DANCE SCENE MY KRYPTONITE THANK YOU QUEEN. One of my absolute favorite lines was “He looked terribly handsome, she couldn't’ wait to see the light go out”.

Fates and Consquences: This one was really funny and some of the punishments had me laughing so hard hahahah (especially when his “mom” had to read him fifty shades of grey)

Sensual Tales for Carnal Pleasures: Although Animation Games was a close second this one was actually my favorite in the collection. I was just so entranced by this story and the takes on power, dress, freedom, and fear. I’m someone who loves longing and I just could FEEL the longing and chemistry between them. And the ending where she get a few previous sands around her neck so that she could keep her prince/her love and they could revisit their story sometimes made me emotional 🥺. It's Nightmare and Noctus’s world and I am just living in it!! This story really spoke to my soul so thank you for it.

Thank you for all these stories, I’ve been having a blast reading everything this year so far! Be back with the rest of the praise so far real soon! ❤️

-Amanda

I know I’m extremely behind in addressing these but I do love them very much! I love that you’re enjoying all your reads. I think two things of note:

- Alpha III is written, but I think increasingly unlikely to be completed due to little chmura’s workload. I think this year we’ll discuss what we plan to do, which may include releasing the script as is, or potentially with some hybrid options (including some sketches, maybe, but not fully in the graphic style, which chmura tells me is too laborious due to her unfamiliarity with illustration techniques at the time)

- I think it’s very likely that I will revisit the animation games in novel form. it would be a different storyline—a new story, not an expansion—but I feel like it’s a promising concept that I am more able to work with now. but anyway I’m glad you liked it and so happy you enjoyed carnal pleasures! that one is on the list for future little chmura collabs, as she is also a fan of that story

[jessequinones]

Dragonfire: Sphere of Eternity Review

Holy, hell, I finally read Dragonfire: Sphere of Eternity and I got some thoughts on it.

First of all, no hate for the author, but I wasn’t expecting this book to be as long as it was. I’m actually impressed I finished it within a month. The book, according to Amazon is around 431 pages and it certainly feels like it. Look, I’m a slow reader. At most, I can read maybe three chapters in a day. A book this long, I was fine until page 300 where I just wanted it to end.

In saying that, it’s not a bad book, just kind of...mid. A perfectly fine book to give to a young reader who hasn’t been introduced to a lot of stereotypical tropes but if you have to choose from this or Wings of Fire, go with Wings of Fire.

Dragonfire: Sphere of Eternity, is a classic hero’s journey story, where the main character, Blaze gets forced into an adventure only to discover he’s the chosen one with special cool powers that no one else has and only he can fight off the darkness which threatens to destroy the world. Along with him is the obvious love interest whose main role is being the healer, the goofy side character, and the badass fighter girl who is only there to be a love interest for the goofy side character and doesn’t really do much come to think of it. All of Blaze's friends join him on his adventure for...some reason and they have a jolly old time.

Near the end of the book, the party splits off for no reason, like...you’ve journeyed together and been through so much, this is the point you’re splitting apart? Because it’ll be dangerous? All of you have plot armour, so it’ll be fine, why are you splitting apart at this exact moment? Isn’t this book about friendship or something? Why are you splitting apart now?

Anyway...

Dragonfire has all of your favourite tropes, the fish out of water, I don’t think I’m in love. Just the classical we’re friends trope which later turns into the family trope. You also can’t forget the Hero’s Journey trope, the chosen one trope. You get the point.

While none of these tropes are bad by themselves, the story doesn’t put a unique spin on them so if you read one of them, you already know what to expect in this story.

There’s no urgency in the story. I wasn’t afraid any of the characters weren’t gonna make it. Despite this book being over 400 pages long, they only go to four locations...five if you count a detour to the end goal. The dragon village was cool but it’s very early on in the story, and you don’t spend a lot of time with them. I also forgot if there were any other characters besides Blaze, Risha, Boltock, and Ember. I guess there’s Tarwin, but she’s barely in the story and I forgot about her at one point.

The main villain I didn’t care for. I ended up skipping the climax of the final fight just because I knew Blaze would win and nothing bad would happen, and also because I couldn’t care less for the main villain.

I’ll say this, however, near the beginning, this story was written in a way in which I could’ve seen it being turned into a graphic novel. I thought it had a strong opening and great world-building that I would’ve enjoyed seeing in a graphic novel format.

Also...stop...using...the word...cripple...stop.

In the end, this book isn’t harmful and doesn't break new ground in its storytelling which is fine, not every story needs to be unique. I think this book is a safe bet to give to your children, hopefully, with its length it’ll keep them entertained for a bit and yeah...that’s about it.

[sambinnie]

Yesterday snow, so fears that my fading head torch wouldn’t get us all the way to the river were moot; the glow from the snow-bound fields turned the pre-dawn sky peach, and even on the bank it was bright enough without torches to have read a book. But my goodness, the water is colder than my body can remember.

And nearly Yule, and the days will lengthen again. Joys!

Quelle année, hein? Between my current obsessions of existentialism v nihilism, the bread recipe I’ve recently started using, the programmes on cults and scammers my algorithms keep feeding me, and the historical cycles that suggest we’re in for a rough ride shortly (but boy oh boy will some things be a lot better afterwards), I have some 2022 delights to share.

BOOKS

January brought two gorgeous graphic novels into my life: Alison Bechdel’s The Secret to Superhuman Strength, which was just what was needed in a Run Every Day January that ended up with me having a post-Covid relapse (fool); and Tom Humberstone’s Suzanne (full disclosure: Tom is a pal and I was sent the book to write the blurb). It made me cheer with delight at its skill and wit, celebrating the sheer guts of a woman carving her way through a man’s sport.

Children’s books were all re-reads: Rumer Godden’s The Doll’s House (terrible suspense clothed in sweet white lace), Louis Sachar’s Holes (racism and the prison-industrial complex dressed as a kid’s adventure romp); and the original Hunger Games trilogy, reread to discuss with a housemate (which mostly descends to me sobbing as we attempt to talk about certain characters). I’m almost sorry the series was so popular, because popularity always begets countless knockoffs that end up damaging the reputation of the original, but Collins’ books really are very good. Katniss is a brilliantly unreliable narrator, and the world built around oppression, division, figureheads, purges, the 1% and the violence they’ll use to keep inequality in place, is something we may all become re-familiar with soon enough.

I’ve covered most of the non-fiction here before, but a quick recap. Blurb Your Enthusiasm, funny and niche and brilliant, buy it for everyone you know who loves books; Four Seasons in Rome, particularly if you go to Rome; and Raising Demons, whether you are, in fact, raising your own demons, or just want a peek behind the curtain at the home life of the Shirley Jackson, Horror genius. Two I’ve recommended repeatedly in person, if not pressed copies into hands: Recovery: The Lost Art of Convalescence, a comfortingly slim work by a GP, telling us everything we know but never pay attention to: that illness should be followed by recovery, recuperation, and convalescence, that medication isn’t everything, that we are healed not just by pills or operations, but by fresh air, natural light, trees, small, good meals, and time. An almost impossible prescription, but a truth we’ve forgotten about over the last 100 years. Finally, Foolproof, out in February, which I read for work a few months ago and have not stopped talking about. How do we combat the hysterical tone of conspiracies and cults online? How do we save ourselves and our loved ones from internet misinformation? What hope is there? Loads, if Sander van der Linden has his way, which is how I like it.

Fiction, I shall try to be quick because there are so many, but all of these had impeccable writing, tight, sharp and bright, and reminded me why I love reading (and especially why I love reading for my job, which leads me across genres). Young Mungo, beautiful and devastating; Piranesi, dreamy, like an adult Diana Wynne Jones novel; They, dystopian and wonderfully creepy; The Housekeepers, which I would have given my eyeteeth to write the screenplay for, a visually luscious Victorian Ocean’s 11; Lord of the Flies, a reminder to reread those masterpieces we think we remember; The Marriage Portrait, razor-sharp writing and a rarely seen autistic girl in literature; The Birds & Other Stories, because you can’t ever go wrong with Daphne du Maurier and her subtle undermining of the patriarchy; The Weather in the Streets, funny, brutal and dry as a bone on not knowing what you want from life and messing up attempts to get it; The Vet’s Daughter — why are we not reading Barbara Comyns every day?; Foster, tiny and jewel-like; Really Good, Actually, and I beg you not to look at the author quotes and just read it, because it deserves to be loved — a High Fidelity for 2023, if that appeals, and a bleak but hilarious look at the myth of self-care if that appeals more; My Turn to Make the Tea, funny and insightful, and I love a book without a real plot; finally The Colony, which may have recency bias as the last full book I read, but the writing is flawless, even if it made me think again about the responsibility creators have to the lives they give their characters.

FILMS

Family films, if you want something lighter over the sofa season: Bill & Ted Face the Music was watched when I was extremely hormonal and I wept with joy throughout — who knows what the quality is on another day, but I loved it right then. The Man in the White Suit is a remarkable (and funny) commentary on invention and capitalism; Charade has both Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, so really what more do you need; My Cousin Vinny has a comical Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei, and is great for a Sunday afternoon. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is gorgeous and, as they say, iconic (’Hey! They said you were stupid’); Good Morning is gentle, stunningly shot, and makes me wish I had someone making me delicious rice every day. We had a weekend of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which started with mostly heckling but ended in my usual copious weeping. January will see me reread the marvellous books, and I’m sorry that I always used to (wrongly) agree with Paul Merton’s comments on the first book here. Animated with fresh artistry away from the bland Pixar mould, The Mitchells vs. the Machines deserved its rewatch (DEREGULATE TAPIOCA); wonderful Raiders of the Lost Ark suddenly awoke me to the fact that watching it weekly as a child meant my wedding dress was a straight mash-up of Marian’s two frocks; Little Women is perfect and I don’t regret my three cinema trips to watch it (or the many subsequent small screen viewings this year).

Four documentaries to watch: Some Kind of Heaven, which, like Mad Men, is both a celebration and a searing condemnation of the American Way. Speaking of which, Boys State: watch it, take some time to cool off, then google what they’re all up to now. The Princess is an excellent look at the building and destruction of a public icon, made up only of contemporary clips; Crip Camp is a loudhailer calling us to recognise the work and joys of disability campaigners, and to remember those human rights battles still truly needing to be fought.

I got into horror this year! Fresh and Men and Nope and The Black Phone! They’re good! They actually made me feel better about the world! 

Two cinema highlights: Jackass Forever, dumb and joyful, and Don’t Worry Darling, smarter, hotter, and more interesting than the coverage would have you believe. Pugh is a marvel and Styles does exactly what he’s meant to.

TV

Looking at them now, I understand why these five were my top picks and I gave up watching more gloomy TV after an episode or two. Slow Horses and Severance and Mythic Quest on Apple, The Witchfinder on iPlayer, and The Bear on Disney+, all wildly different genres but all containing, essentially, an existential view on humanity and the value of connection. Plus spies etc! Don't read anything about them, but if you have access, just watch a couple of episodes and see what you think. They have inspired and hooked me through the year.

FOOD

Speaking of The Bear, there is a recipe which has become an almost weekly treat here and is a direct lift from the programme, but I’ll only share it with you once you’ve watched all episodes. My god it’s good. This is the bread I’ve started making (the third one in the video), and reliably (to crib the great Jeffrey Steingarten) ‘the bread is more than good enough to eat, and some days it is so good that we eat nothing else’. Pre-Rome, I also discovered this focaccia recipe which is embarrassingly simple and tasty.

I don’t want to abandon my sourdough starter, though, so I use the dough for pizza bases, rolled out into long ovals (approx 100g per person) and topped with olive oil, fresh corn (sliced from the cob, briefly fried), mozzarella and jalapeños and cooked, then topped again with sour cream, crumbled feta, coriander and lime juice. White pizza heaven. 

This French Onion Pasta is a great filling evening meal in the cold months, as is this amazing chicken and pumpkin tray bake from Diana Henry. We occasionally leave out the chicken for vegetarian or budgetary purposes, and it’s still delicious; if you don’t make the sage butter (or forget it in the fridge), this is really good with a side bowl of 50/50 mayo and sriracha.

Gwyneth P’s Polenta & Roasted Tomatoes is unbelievably quick, and feels like a hearty but not heavy meal whenever it’s dark outside — in summer I actually managed to grow the tomatoes myself, for the first time ever (banana skin juice appears to be the secret).

Scones have seen us year-round: wild garlic scones in late spring, bramble scones in late summer, cheese scones after autumn walks — what is the winter equivalent? Fig and mature cheddar? I may experiment. Otherwise, Benjamina Ebuehi’s Pecan & Burnt Honey Cake has become an enormous favourite for dessert. Perfect on the day, and even better after a night in the fridge, it’s worth buying her (excellent) book for alone. Nigel Slater’s rice pudding gets a fair few outings too, although I still think his numbers are way off (I times everything by 1.5, except the rice which I take from 80g to 200g).

I wish you and your loved ones a great Christmas and a safe, healthy and happy 2023. x

[you-are-my-joy]

The Return of an Empress | 07

Title: The Return of an Empress

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Genre: Isekai, Angst, Romance, Fluff, Smut (Later on), Slow burn

Characters: Empress!Reader, Advisor!Jin, Advisor!Yoongi, General!Hoseok, Advisor!Namjoon, Assassin!Jimin, Knight!Taehyung, Knight!Jungkook

Word count: ~9k

Summary: After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.

Warning: May contain depictions of violence and mentions of abuse throughout the story.

Masterlist 

<< previous chapter  | ♡ |  next chapter >>

In the 380th imperial year, on June 9th, two days after the nobles were caught red-handed and thus apprehended, was the day of the largest massacre of high nobility in the history of the empire. 

At 8 am in the morning, a total of 18 of some of the most well-known and influential nobles of the empire were executed by the city plaza.

With tired steps, you trudge inside your bedroom, immediately falling onto the comfort of your bed. You let out an exasperated sigh, tossing your head back until it rests on a nearby pillow. Despite getting rid of the duke and the rest of the nobles, you can’t help but still feel a sense of unease and tension. Would the original empress make the same decision? You don’t know the answer, but what you do know, is that you’ll most likely be haunted by the cries and screams of those who lost their lives today for the rest of your life.

It’s one thing to actually read of the graphic murders and deaths that occurred in the novel, it’s a whole different story when you actually experience and see first hand how gruesome the public executions truly were. Back in your world, you’ve never witnessed anyone’s death before, as it was the 21st century, public executions were prohibited decades ago. But suddenly you had to endure an entire morning witnessing the horrifying deaths of 18 people as their heads detached from their body, a large pool of blood staining the once clean pavement. 

You weren’t keen on torturing people, so you were merciful in the sense that you chose to execute them through a beheading, with a fresh and sharpened axe to be exact. In this world, beheadings, although gruesome and bloody, were seen as the most ‘humane’ form of execution as the deed would be done in one swift motion, a painless execution to some extent. 

You remember hearing many of the nobles and commoners who attended the public executions express their disappointment at your choice, thinking you were being much too kind considering the heinous crime they committed. Despite their disappointment, they were slightly relieved over your choice, many were still skeptical over the empress’s supposed changed behavior, but seeing you wince and grimace at each beheading finally convinced them otherwise. 

News spread like wildfire around the empire about what had occurred at the party, news articles being published nearly a day later. The most popular topic of course being the Grand Duke himself drugging the empress, and so countless of nobles all around the empire scurried to watch the spectacle. Thus, the grand finale of the execution came when former Grand Duke, Lee Joong-Gu finally stepped forward. 

Many people had looked at him in disgust, throwing rotten fruits and vegetables his way and cursed out his name. The entire time, he wore a solemn expression as he kneels down without complaint unlike the rest of the criminals who wailed pathetically until their last breath. 

You remember that in the midst of it all, he had looked up at you, your eyes instantly locking with one another, and you swear from where you stood, you saw a hint of remorse and guilt in his face. Your mind reeling as he tearfully mouths ‘I’m sorry’ to you, but before you could even react any further, the axe gets raised in the air and in the next second is swung down with much force. His head rolling down the pavement as the cheers of the crowd rang out excitedly at the gruesome sight. 

However, the cheers seem to fade from your ears as all you can focus on is the dukes rolling head. And somehow it stops, facing in your direction, empty eyes that were once so full of life, ingraining themselves in your memory forever. You blink away the tears forming in your eyes, confused as to why your body was reacting like this. You flinch as you stare at his body slumped over, but your view gets blocked when Jungkook steps in front of you.

The entire morning, Jungkook and Taehyung have been right beside you, acting as your escorts as you had requested. Always attempting to block your view when they noticed your grim and disgusted expressions at each beheading. Jin and Namjoon were also present, but they stood a few meters away from you, ensuring that the executions ran as quickly and smoothly as possible. Hoseok was present as well, but as the general, he was in charge of security and surveying the city plaza, prioritizing your safety over everything else.

The only ones who hadn’t shown up were Yoongi and Jimin. Yoongi, you had expected, though you had a glimmer of hope that he would make an appearance, but Jimin? You thought he would come to greet you after the party, but you haven’t seen him since he left you by the ballroom doors. You were extremely worried, thinking something bad had happened to him, but Namjoon reassured you that he was fine as he had ran into him the other day. He further informs you that Jimin wasn’t feeling good, which explains his sudden absence. Though you remained unconvinced, you choose to give Jimin his needed space, thinking it would be better for him to come to you when he was ready.

When the executions were over you stood up from your seat, ready to leave the area in a hurry as the overwhelming stench of blood nearly made you puke on the spot. But suddenly you heard loud cheers as everyone directed their attention to you, “All Hail Empress Y/n!” many of them yelled out, grinning at you as they praised your actions. 

You hadn’t expected to be well received so quickly, since less than a week ago, some of these same people trembled in fear over your presence. You send them a charming smile to express your gratitude, but this only seemed to ignite something in them as they seemingly cheered your name even more.

Despite the cheering, all you wanted to do was go back to the palace and rest. So here you are, groaning as you lay flat on the spacious bed. You feel the bed dip slightly to your left, prompting you to open your eyes to see Jungkook looking down at you with a small smile. “How are you feeling?” he reaches his hand out to gently brush a strand of hair in front of your face. 

“Absolutely exhausted,” you let out a groan, closing your eyes once more. And you weren’t only talking about the past few days. It seemed that you were never truly able to catch a break the moment you arrived in this world. You can’t even imagine the amount of work the past empress had to endure. 

Taehyung, having found comfort in your couch situated in the middle of your grand bedroom, hums at that, “Mentally or physically exhausted?”

You scoff before letting out a yawn, “Both.” 

Jungkook nods as he moves his hand away from your face to lazily trace shapes on the palm of your hand, “I'm sorry to hear that your majesty,” he replies, sending you a pitiful look, as he notices traces of stress and exhaustion written on your face.

Still with your eyes closed, you rest for a moment, “It’s fine. This is my duty as the empress.”

Jungkook nods, “I understand, but before you’re an empress, you’re a human. You need to rest, your majesty,” he says, concern laced in his voice as he continues tracing odd shapes on your palm. 

Though after a while, you’ve come to the realization that rather than shapes, he was actually tracing your name on your skin.

You open your eyes to stare at Jungkook who was too distracted writing your name to pay attention to your gaze. You just stare when a sudden thought crosses your mind, “Hey Jungkook, can you try calling me by my name?”

Jungkook seems to freeze in his spot, his hand stopping right above yours as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Pardon?” this seems to gain Taehyung's attention as well when you see him from the corner of your eye snap his head instantly in your direction.

You shrug, sitting straight up now facing him. Both your faces nearly inches apart that Jungkook instantly blushes and shifts a bit further away from you to calm his racing heart, though you take that gesture as discomfort instead, “What’s wrong? You don’t want to?”

Jungkook stutters as he waves his arms in front of his face in an ‘X’ shape motion, “N-No, It’s not that I don't want to… but why are you suddenly asking that of me?” Both Jungkook and Taehyung stare at you in a mixture of confusion and interest since they haven’t addressed the empress by her name in nearly 3 years. Not after she had scolded the both of them until they complied to her wishes. 

“I figured we might as well go back to our old ways you know?” you suggest, but after taking in their shocked reactions you quickly add, “Of course if you’re uncomfortable with my request then I don’t want to force you to do anything. But I do give you permission to call me by my name when it’s just us.”

Jungkook turns his head to Taehyung as they look at each other wearily, as if doubting your words and thinking this was all just one big test. He hesitantly turns back to you, “Is that truly alright?” he asks while fidgeting nervously with his hand. 

“Of course it is,” you smile reassuringly, your eyes staring at him in anticipation, “will you?” You ask, you try to hide your excitement in order to not pressure him, but who were you kidding, it’s practically written on your face.

Jungkook’s lips curve upward slightly as he couldn’t deny your request, especially when your golden eyes shined brightly at him, “Yes…. Y/n…” though he had said it in a shy whisper, you still heard him loud and clear. You didn’t think hearing your name come out of his mouth would affect you so much but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling widely. It’s times like these that you’re extremely grateful for sharing the same name as the old empress. 

“Woah that’s not fair,” you turn your head to find Taehyung with his arms crossed, playfully glaring at you both, “why does he get special treatment and I don't?” 

You chuckle as Taehyung's pout reminds you of a child who got their toy taken away and wants it back. Your amusement grows even more as you sit back and watch Jungkook be equally as childish when he sticks his tongue out at the older knight. And Taehyung, the ever mature knight, mimics his actions in return. 

You grin at the older knight, wanting nothing more than to ruffle his hair, “this applies to you as well Taehyung.” 

Taehyung finally turns to you after seemingly having a contest with Jungkook on who can contort their face in a mocking way better, “thank you… Y/n,” he replies softly with a gentle smile now on his face. 

They’ll admit, addressing you by your name sounded strange coming out their mouth, but they couldn’t deny the nostalgic and warm feeling in their chest when they finally did. And your smile definitely brightened their day even more.

“Y/n.” you hear Jungkook call out softly, though he flinches when he gains your attention. 

You furrow your eyes in confusion at his odd reaction, “Yes?”

You notice his cheeks glow with a tint of red, “Sorry, it’s nothing. I just wanted to say your name in front of you,” the ending of his sentence becoming a soft whisper as he was embarrassed to have been caught by you. But he should’ve known better than to believe your ears wouldn’t catch him. 

You have to mentally slap yourself to stay calm and composed as to not squeal in delight to embarrass him further. So to spare him, you fight back a giggle as you beam back at him, “you’re more than welcome to call me by my name anytime you want Jungkook.” Gaining a wide smile from him in return.

“Y/n?” Taehyung suddenly calls out, causing you to face him now. Though he chuckles at your raised brow, “I’m not just calling out your name, I genuinely have a question.” You chuckle right back, nodding your head, gesturing to him to ask his question. “Are you still feeling sick?” You understand he wasn’t referring to earlier, rather he was talking about your symptoms from withdrawal. 

Thankfully after properly taking medication daily or as suggested by the royal physician, you’ve been experiencing a lot less symptoms as the days go by. Joy reminding and ensuring that you actually took them definitely helped with the process. 

You nod sending him a soft smile, “no, I’ve been feeling a lot better nowadays. Though, I’ll admit I kind of want to throw up. But I’m pretty sure the main perpetrator to that is the blood.” Despite having left the plaza awhile ago, you seemingly couldn’t get rid of the stench of blood in your nose. Even just the thought of it makes you involuntarily gag. 

Jungkook softly chuckles, “from being in countless battles, you’d think you’d get used to the sight of blood,” he jokes with a teasing glint in his eyes as he grew bold enough to hold your hand after tracing on it for so long.

You stare down at your joined hands, his large ones nearly covering yours completely. You feel him squeeze your hand lightly prompting you to look up at his mischievous grin as he caught you staring. You playfully roll your eyes, “it’s been awhile, alright, I forgot,” you grumble.

Though Taehyung hums at that as leans his head back on the soft cushions of the couch, “you seem to be using that excuse quite often,” he mutters, not looking you in the eye, but instead choosing to stare out your window.

At his statement, you gulp nervously. You immediately take note from the corner of your eyes the prying look of Jungkook as his hold on your hand seems to tighten. 

But before you could come up with yet another excuse, you hear a knock at your door. Someone was definitely looking out for you as you had no idea how to respond without you being even more suspicious than before. 

You sit up straight, briefly glancing at your knights who refuse to look you in the eye before calling out, “come in.” You quickly let go of Jungkook’s hand causing the boy to snap his head in your direction before his shoulders seemingly drop. Though he doesn’t say anything more as the doors to your bedroom open wide.

Soon enough, the double doors reveal Hoseok, Namjoon and Jin. They bow out of respect before briefly making eye contact with Jungkook and Taehyung, to which they send a curt nod, acknowledging each other’s presence.  

For some reason, you felt a shift in the air as the three men stepped into the room. As if they were... hostile? But that doesn’t make sense, you question. Shouldn't they be on good terms with each other? You thought, but you were so wrong when you could feel the tension around you. Something unspoken between the five males. 

You understand that you haven’t known these men for long, but even you could tell that there was a sudden shift in their relationship. You saw it in the ballroom and now your suspicions are confirmed when you observe their body language in front of you.

After many moments of silence, Namjoon finally turns his attention to you, “more of those journalists keep requesting for your time your majesty,” he reports, only now do you notice his tired eyes. He must’ve been dealing with those journalists since he got back, and from what you know, they’re almost as ruthless as those in high society. 

But before you could respond, you hear Taehyung let out an annoyed groan from where he sat, “They bombarded her all throughout the morning, can’t they give her a break?” he scowls when turning his head out the window as he caught a glimpse of those pesky reporters from the border of the palace walls. Their cameras steadily aimed at the palace, hoping to capture a lucky shot of the empress. 

“It’s alright, I can handle them,” you reply, having already mentally and physically prepared yourself for this since you knew this would be a hot topic in the empire. A topic that the reporters wouldn’t let go of until they were satisfied. But just as you were about to stand from the comfort of your bed, you feel a hand gently rest on your shoulder, prompting you to turn and find Jungkook staring at you in concern. 

“Y/n, you need to rest,” Jungkook says softly, “you truly did look sick early, maybe it's from withdrawals or maybe it's from the blood, who knows, but I think it’s best you rest for the day.” You knew it would be hard to go against Jungkook, especially when he had that determined look in his eyes. Though that wasn’t what everyone else was thinking as his statement piqued their interest. 

“Y/n?” Jin questions loudly. He had thought he was hearing things, but by the looks on Namjoons and Hoseok's faces, he indeed did hear correctly. Jungkook had addressed you by your name. 

The boy blushes, not having realized he had blurted out your name in front of them. But before he could explain himself, Taehyung beat him to it.

“Y/n gave us permission to call her by her name,” he boasts with his head held high as if he was bragging about some great achievement he got. Which in a way, it kind of was. 

Hoseok raises his brow as he turns to look at you now, “may I know why?”

You clear your throat, “well, when I got rid of the alcohol and drugs in my system, I wanted to make things right and go back to how they were before. So I gave them permission to address me by my name like old times,” you reply confidently, having already prepared an answer for this question long ago. 

Though after some time, Hoseok’s blank face shifts, “I see,” he replies with a smile, but you knew better than to trust that, you knew hidden in that expression was a man that still had doubts despite witnessing the downfall of the nobles before his own eyes. You had thought Namjoon would be the one you needed to be careful of, but it seems you were wrong in that sense as you become anxious at Hoseok’s judging stare. 

Jin clears his throat, an attempt to get rid of the growing tension in the room, “we also came to discuss plans regarding the property of the nobles as well as what's to come with their families and who would be the ones to take their positions,” he pauses before nodding his head in Hoseok’s direction, “we brought along Hoseok in case military services were needed.”

You nod, though you couldn’t help but wonder, “Where’s Yoongi?” 

Jin stills for a moment before tilting his head, visibly confused from your question, “why are you suddenly asking for him?”

Now it’s your turn to be confused as you furrow your eyebrows, “Because he’s also one of my advisors,” you answer as if it was obvious. 

As if sensing your confusion, Namjoon responds, “pardon our rudeness, your majesty. You just don’t normally call on him for these types of things.”

Now you’re even more confused than before, “I don’t?”

Namjoon nods his head in confirmation, “I believe it’s because he’s not from nobility, that it may hinder and influence his judgment on these types of cases,” he explains in the nicest way possible. 

Dumbfounded, you remain seated on your bed, “I see,” is all you could utter. You knew that out of the 8 of you, the only ones who came from nobility were Namjoon, Jin, and Hoseok. Their families were one of the few nobles who secretly opposed the former emperor, which made it easy for the main character to gain their support in the rebellion. There’s no doubt that Hoseok’s military family, Namjoon’s intelligence, and Jin’s abundant wealth, had an immense influence on the success of the rebellion. 

Of course that’s not to say that the others are any less important. Jungkook and Taehyung were among the best of the best in terms of strength and fighting, not to mention Jimin being an ace when it came to agility and swiftness. They had the skills to go against opponents 10 times their size, and yet somehow win. The three were known to be the best fighters in the empire, after the empress herself of course. Afterall, they learned everything they knew from her. 

Yoongi on the other hand, proved himself to be worthy to stand by the empress’s side as an advisor due to the fact that when it came to forming tactics, he always had the perfect plan to go along with every scenario. Much of the rebellion's success was derived from the various attack plans that Yoongi came up with.

He also knows how to handle her the best out of them all. He knows how to approach her when she gets mad or upset. And he is one of the few people who isn’t afraid to go against her if he needs to, only with her and the empire’s best intentions in his mind. 

But when it came to politics, Yoongi had a harder time due to the fact that he was just a village boy who didn’t receive the same amount of education as Namjoon or Jin. Granted neither did Y/n, having been born from the same village, but she was so determined to become the empress that she worked strenuously day in and day out in order to fit the role. Having Namjoon as her teacher definitely helped the process run smoothly. 

Sure Yoongi isn’t as book smart as Namjoon, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t smart at all. You know that despite things being said about him, his words and inputs at national council meetings have proven to be of great help to the empress and the empire in the past. 

And so without another word, you stand up from your bed with a newfound determination. 

Jungkook and Taehyung eye you in concern. “Y/n?” Jungkook asks, reaching out to hold your hand, causing you to stop in your tracks. 

“I’m going to go and personally find Yoongi. Regardless of our differences, he’s still my advisor, and his presence is just as important as every single one of you.” You feel Jungkook loosen his grip on you, allowing you to slip away from his grasp. 

“Shall we escort you there?” Jungkook asks tentatively, while Taehyung had already stood up, prepared to follow you on your command. 

But instead, you shake your head, “Considering what transpired last time, I don’t think it’d be wise to bring either one of you two along,” Jungkook rubs the back of his neck while Taehyung turns away as they’re both suddenly reminded of the way they had behaved towards Yoongi. Although they were opposed to the idea of you going alone, they couldn’t argue with your statement, since even they don’t know how they would react if they were in each other's presence again. 

“I’ll accompany her majesty,” Hoseok suddenly speaks up with a raised hand, resulting in everyone turning their heads in his direction, “I think it should only be fair after all,” he pouts, lowering his hand to cross both his arms across his chest. 

Namjoon raises a brow at his claim, “Fair?”

Hoseok nods as he accusingly points at every man in the room other than himself, “Every single one of you have spent more time with her than me, that's why I think it’s only fair if I escort her,” he declares with a puff of his chest. 

Taehyung scoffs at him, “Can you blame us? We’re her escorts, of course we’re going to spend more time with her,” he fights back a roll of his eyes due to Hoseok being of a higher rank than him. 

“Exactly, so I hope you don’t mind me stealing your ‘Y/n’ for the time being,” and before you could even utter a word, Hoseok strides towards you, reaching for your arm and practically begins dragging you out the room, “see you boys later!” 

Jin shakes his head disapprovingly as he watches Hoseok roughly pull you, “would you be more careful with her majesty!” 

Hoseok scoffs, “She’s not weak,” he responds as he turns around abruptly, your chest nearly colliding with his if it weren’t for his arms steadying you. 

“I agree, but she’s also not a ragdoll that you could just push around as you please,” Jin snaps back at him, eyes narrowing at the grip on your arm.

Namjoon nods his head at this, “Indeed. Be more gentle Hoseok,” he warns sternly as he shifts his body towards the both of you intimidatingly. 

And you don’t even need to turn around to know Jungkook and Taehyung were both shooting daggers at the general. 

Hoseok sighs and finally lets go of you with his arms raised above his head in defeat, “alright alright I get it. I’ll keep my hands to myself.” Though the men in the room only stare at him with unconvinced expressions as he smiles innocently right back.

You stifle a laugh at their reactions and begin to turn to leave, “we’ll be leaving then,” at this you turn to stare at each one of them, “while I’m gone. Behave.”

Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms as he plops back down on your couch, “We’re not children Y/n.” But his pout tells you otherwise.

The corners of your lips quirk upward in amusement, “could’ve fooled me.”

He turns to you with an offended expression, mouth wide open and before he could give you a piece of his mind, you scurry out the door with Hoseok tailing right behind you. 

“Y/n!” You hear Taehyung’s voice yells out as he appears by the doorway in a matter of seconds. 

You turn around and almost laugh at his dumbfounded expression. Though, you nearly trip over your own two feet if it weren’t for Hoseok skillfully reaching out and steadying you. You quickly thank him before looking back towards your door to now find the rest of the men staring back at you. 

“We’ll set up a proper meeting tomorrow! See you boys then!” You call out before you’re reaching for Hoseok’s hand. He widens his eyes for a moment staring down at your joined hands before he feels you pull on him in the direction you were running to. 

You could still hear their protests coming from your bedroom as both you and Hoseok run away. But Hoseok can’t help but be more focused on your angelic laughter over everything else. 

“So what did the general want to talk to me about so badly that he wanted us to be alone?” you say finally after creating a fair enough distance from your bedroom.

From the corner of your eye, you see him smirk, “What makes her majesty think I had ulterior motives?” he asks innocently, his pace matching with yours as you both walk down the quiet halls.

You shake your head with a smile, “because you’re Hoseok,” you reply with a teasing glint in your eye. 

Hoseok lets out an offended noise as he dramatically brings his hand to his chest, “That hurts your majesty,” he pouts, “couldn’t I have just wanted to spend some time with you?”

You laugh at this, “Sure, but you and I both know that that’s not the case,” your mouth forming a smile, an attempt to show him you meant no harm. 

Hoseok finally lets the innocent facade fall as a smirk begins to form on his face, “Our empress sure has a sharp mind,” you hum in reply, prompting him to continue speaking,  “you’re right, I did want to talk to you.”

Though after some time walking in silence, he speaks up again, “But I had nothing in particular to talk to you about, I just wanted to see for myself whether you had truly changed or not,” he responds bluntly. 

“Your verdict?” you question with your arms behind your back, a carefree aura surrounding you. 

“Hard to tell for now,” he teases with a wink in your direction, “however, something tells me it won’t be long before I give you my answer your majesty.”

“Well let’s hope it’s an answer we both will like,” a wide optimistic grin now on your face.

Hoseok stares down at you, giving you a small smile in return, “Yes, let’s hope.” 

You two don’t speak for a while, though you can’t say it was awkward. There was a comfortable air between the two of you that you actually didn’t mind walking together in silence. You took this moment to look around the scenery, admiring the window view as you don’t really have much time to do that since Taehyung, Jungkook and even Jimin would often preoccupy your attention, not that you were complaining about their company, you rather enjoyed talking to them. But you can’t help but be grateful for this moment to yourself. So for the time being, you just look out the window, little did you know, Hoseok was staring right at you. 

Hoseok couldn’t help but admire the way the sunlight glows on your skin as if you were an ethereal being. Even the slight quirk of your lips mesmerizes him as he watches you bask in the sunlight. A picture perfect moment that he desperately tries to ingrain in his mind. 

“You know, you’re more than welcome to address me by my name as well Hoseok,” you suddenly speak out, turning your head causing the male to widen his eyes momentarily at your abrupt attention. 

But Hoseok’s eyes soften, giving you a small smile before turning his head straight in front of him yet again, “I’ll keep that in mind... thank you.” 

Neither of you speak again after that, just enjoying each other's company in silence. And after everything that you’ve been through, you didn’t realize that this was exactly what you needed. 

“Hey Yoongs”

The man hums, his eyes closed as he lays comfortably against the grass right beside Y/n.

“You’ll be with me forever right?” the young girl speaks up after some time.

At this, Yoongi opens his eyes as he stares at the far away look in her eyes, “Of course Y/n, where else would I go?” he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “why do you ask?”

She shrugs looking straight up at the passing clouds, “just making sure,” the wind softly breezing against her hair.

Yoongi nervously laughs as he turns away from her, “Sorry, but it’s gonna take a lot more for you to get rid of me,” Y/n chuckles at this causing the corners of his lips to curve upward at the sound. “Unless I got it all wrong. You’re not trying to run away from me once you become empress are you?” he questions with a teasing tone. Though he had a smile on his face, he couldn’t deny the feeling of anxiety at the possibility of her leaving him.

She scoffs before turning away, “Of course not, what would I do without you nagging me all the time, you’re practically my brother at this point.”

Yoongi feels a pang go across his heart as he faces away from her, “... right… you just see me as a brother huh,” he mumbles, more so to himself but she could still slightly hear him.

She tilts her head in his direction, “hm?”

Though he just shakes his head, “Nevermind,” now sporting a more cheerful expression as he nudges her shoulder playfully, “so suddenly I’m your brother huh?”

She nods her head, turning away from him, focusing her attention back to the sky, “Of course you are, what else would you be?” she genuinely asks.

Yoongi stills for a moment before responding with a long sigh, “Nothing,” he pauses, watching the clouds pass by both him and her as they lay on the grass in peace, “absolutely nothing.”

“Her majesty told me about it and left the job to me,” Jin responds in a tired voice as he lets out a sigh. If he had known accepting the empress’s orders would lead to this, he would’ve never done so in the first place. Because not only does he need to deal with a pile of work, but also a very pissed off Yoongi. 

“Why would she give you all the work and not me?” Yoongi asks, tone slightly offended and irritated. 

“I don’t know Yoongi, why don’t you just ask her yourself,” Jin replies tiredly as he massages his temple at his growing headache. It’s not that he wanted to get rid of Yoongi, but because he himself couldn’t provide him an answer to his question. He too couldn't understand why Y/n would give him all the work instead of him, frankly he wishes she would divide up the work evenly but alas, that doesn’t seem to be the case as every inch of his desk is nearly covered in piles of documents. 

Yoongi lets out a huff of air before standing abruptly. Jin stares at him and widens his eyes when he notices that he’s about to leave. Nervously he stands from his seat as well, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to ask her myself,” Yoongi replies as if it was the most obvious answer, his hand reaching for the door handle.

Jin gasps, “I wasn’t being serious!” he moves around his desk to grab hold of the advisor.

But Yoongi shakes his head, stepping back from his reach, “I know you weren’t, but you’re right. If I want change to happen, I need to go to her myself,” he watches concern wash over the older male before placing a hand on his shoulder, “don’t worry, I won’t lose my cool,” he says in an attempt to reassure him.

Though both Yoongi and Jin knew he was lying. He was just telling him what he wanted to hear. Jin wanted to stop him, but in the end, he lets it go since he knows that once Yoongi’s got his mind set on something, it was nearly impossible to get him out of it, ”fine, but I don’t want to hear about you getting sent to the dungeons again Yoongi.”

Though Yoongi only chuckles, “I won’t get angry, don’t stress about.”

And boy was he wrong, because it hasn’t even been 10 minutes that he walked into her office until hell broke loose. 

“Just let them handle it Yoongi, why are you so upset, I’ve given you plenty of work before,” she barks angrily.

“I’m upset, because you never give me the same amount of work as them!” He snaps back at her, tone equally as harsh. 

She nearly growls at his attitude, “Would you relax Yoongi, it’s just pieces of paper! If I had known you’d get so fucking irritated over it I would’ve sent the entire pile to you if that’s what you really wanted!”

That’s not what he wanted. He wanted her attention, her trust, he wanted to be the first person she sought out when she needed help.

He wanted her. 

“Y/n-” he gets interrupted when Y/n grabs a pile of documents and throws it in the air in front of him. He watches as the pieces of paper float down everywhere in the room, making it look as if a tornado wrecked havoc in the area. 

“Here! Just do it all for all I care, they’re just damn pieces of papers anyway,” Y/n growls tiredly. Yoongi could not have come at the worst time. Not only did she have to deal with a raging headache, but now her own advisor was yelling in her face far too early in the morning for it to be tolerable. 

She could feel her head ringing at the volume of his voice, but when she told him to leave as she wasn’t in the best mood to argue, he kept refusing stubbornly, insisting she listen to his complaints because apparently what he needed to say was so important to go against her orders. And so when she realized his important reasoning was because he was upset over his workload, her anger only rose from there. 

With her already sour mood, him snapping back at her surely didn’t help his case either.

“I have way too much shit to deal with right now, don’t add onto it Yoongi,” she spats loudly, the piles of paper covering nearly the entirety of the floor around them. 

His shoulder drops, finally coming to terms with everything as he stared into the once cheerful eyes narrow dangerously into tiny slits.

The girl before him, was never and will never be his. 

For the past few days, Yoongi had been actively avoiding not only you, but everyone else. No matter how hard they tried, neither Namjoon or Jin could reach out to him. It was almost as if Yoongi somehow knew just when and where everyone would be to successfully avoid them. 

In the beginning of the empresses reign, no one took him seriously because he wasn’t from noble descent like Namjoon and Jin. when they would attend national council meetings, no one spoke directly to him as if his previous status of a commoner was still intact. And so he had to put on this whole ruthless persona for people to show an ounce of respect for him. He had to exert more effort to prove to everyone that he was equally as worthy as the other two advisors. That he was capable of doing the same amount of work, even if he didn't receive the same strenuous education as them.

And because of the comparison between him and the other two advisors, insecurities were born and shattered his mind. 

So seeing you put your trust in Jin and Namjoon hurt him a lot more than he would like to admit. The fact that they both knew and yet you hadn’t brought it up with him once was like a shot to his heart. 

And yet throughout his time spent alone, Taehyung's voice echoes in his mind.

“When was the last time you ever treated her as one of her advisors? When have you ever truly cared for her majesty?”

He groans out of frustration at the entire situation. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he was right. When was the last time he treated her with respect. Even though the rest of the boys joined the rebellion with him, never once did they blatantly disrespect the empress the way he did. 

And with the current situation, he doesn’t even think he deserves his position of advisor anymore. Never in his life did he imagine that someone was drugging the empress. All this time, he’s been bitterly blaming the empress about the current condition of the empire when in reality, it wasn’t even her fault. He pushed her away when she needed him the most. When she was suffering he unknowingly made things worse. And because of that, he doesn’t even know if he has the courage to face the empress ever again. 

Yoongi freezes when he hears a tentative knock at his door. Slowly, he raises his head from his hands before responding in a loud tired voice, “who is it?” ready to curse out the person on the other side of the door.

“It’s me hyung.” 

Yoongi widens his eyes at the familiar voice that he can’t help but rise from his seat. He carefully walks over and finally opens the door to reveal Jimin’s figure standing before him. For a moment, the two men stand opposite of each other in silence. 

“I need to talk to you,” Jimin finally says. Yoongi nods and steps aside for him to enter, still in complete disbelief that he wanted to speak to him after everything that’s been said between the two in the past month.

As if reading his mind, Jimin turns to him with an uncertain smile, “You’re probably wondering why I'm here,” Yoongi only nods, unable to produce words at this point. Jimin stops at the center of his office before continuing, “I know we’re going through a rough patch right now, but at the end of the day, you’re still someone that I deeply care about. You’re my brother and I’m just worried about how you’re taking the situation,” he explains with a nervous expression. 

Yoongi’s eyes soften, of course they weren’t on good terms at the moment, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day, they’re brothers. He could never truly hate or get mad at him, or any of them for that matter unless they truly betrayed him. 

Jimin wasn’t certain this would be a good idea, unsure how the older male would react to his presence. And so when he hears Yoongi let out a chuckle, although not so enthusiastically, that alone causes Jimin to visibly relax.

Just then, Yoongi lets out a long sigh, “I’ll be honest, I feel like shit. But I know she’s probably going through it way harder than I am,” he finally replies as he rolls his neck.

Jimin nods, “I’m sure she is,” he mutters looking away.

Though Yoongi raises a brow, Jimim’s tone almost hinting at the fact that he doesn’t know about your feelings which was surprising to Yoongi since he knows how close he is to you. At that realization he furrowed his brows, “you haven’t spoken to her, have you?”

Jimin seems to stiffen at his claim, he contemplated lying but knew the older male would see right through him anyway, and so he just shakes his head, “no I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

Jimin lets out a low chuckle, “I wasn’t able to keep a promise with her,” he answers softly, running his fingers through his hair.

Now Yoongi was even more confused than before, he wanted to ask more questions but felt like now wouldn’t be the right time based on the downcasted look on the younger man's face. And so he only nods in return. Though Jimin’s lips quirk up, grateful that he doesn’t push the topic further.

Jimin leans against the back of his couch, crossing his arms, “I saw you that day,” he added, wanting to change the subject. “The day at the ball,” he clarifies when he saw the puzzled look on Yoongi’s face. 

“You attended the ball?”

Jimin shakes his head, “no I was watching from above, her majesty wanted me to be her ‘eyes in the sky’, or something like that,” he pauses before chuckling, “she’s been saying some strange things recently.”

Rather than laughing along with him, Yoongi can’t help but feel annoyed, “Of course you fucking knew about it, too,” he mutters furiously under his breath.

Jimin widens his eyes at his sudden harsh tone, “Pardon?” 

Yoongi scoffs, now stomping his way to his desk, “The empress told you of her plans,” Yoongi uttered with resentment, “everyone but me.” 

And as if the world wanted to continue mocking him, here you appear through the open door, with Hoseok right beside you. You freeze in your spot, when you realize Jimin, who was now staring at you like a deer in headlights, was also present in the room. Despite his surprise, he bows out of respect. Though you can’t say the same about Yoongi.

“What are you doing here,” Yoongi curses at himself, he didn’t mean to take his anger out on you. You just happened to arrive at a bad time. 

Though his cold icy tone doesn’t deter you in the slightest, “I came to inform you that we’ll be holding a meeting tomorrow,” you explain hesitantly, careful not to say the wrong thing to aggravate him even more.

He raises a brow in doubt, “you came here to personally tell me?”

You nod, “the rest of the men wanted to have a meeting regarding the situation, but I didn’t want to attend if you weren’t present.”

Yoongi scoffs, “I'm not some charity case.” Although, Yoongi can’t deny the warm feeling in his chest from what you said.

You stop, taken aback from his words, “Is that what you think you are?” you pause before continuing, “Why do you think you became one of the empress’s advisors?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes at this, “Because you think of me as a brother,” he spats bitterly. 

“No, it’s because you’re one of the few people I trust most in this world, I know we had a bumpy road getting here, but you have to believe me when I say that I trust you,” you insist as you take a step closer into the room.

Though your statement seemed to have ignited a fire in him as he snaps his head to you with narrowed eyes, “If you trust me so much then why didn’t you let me know about this entire situation?!” You jump back at his tone, surprised by how angry he got.

Hoseok steps forward in an instant, “Hyung I had no idea about the drugs either,” he blurts out, trying to dissipate the tension in the room as he moves to stand in between you and Yoongi. 

Jimin nods in confirmation, shifting his body to stand protectively in front of you as well, “he’s right hyung, Hoseok also had no idea what was going on.”

“That may be true, but she still sought your help, no? She needed military strength, she needed someone to hide in the shadows and she went to you two,” he snaps at them. Hoseok shuts his mouth, unable to form words to counter his claim. 

Though it’s not like Yoongi was going to let anyone else speak, not until he was finished, “Where do I come into play? Jin hyung and Namjoon helped with the plan, Jimin looked out for you from above, Hoseok provided the military strength, Jungkook and Taehyung came as your escorts. But what about me?” At this point, Yoongi paces around the room frantically, you try to reach out to him but he jumps back as if your touch would burn him. 

“Why am I always in last place!” He yells at the top of his lungs, “Is it because I wasn’t born into high nobility like Jin hyung? Is it cause I’m not some fucking genius like Namjoon? Or as handsome as Jungkook and Taehyung. Or as confident as Jimin. Or as reliable as Hoseok?” He continues his rant when everyone is too stunned to react.

“Yoon-”

“Why am I never good enough for you!” He shouts, slamming his fist hard on his desk. The room becomes silenced in an instant. The only sounds coming from the broken advisor standing before you. 

“Am I not enough?” He sniffles, his voice cracking as he stumbles, grabbing hold of the corner of the table to stabilize himself. He bows his head low, an attempt to hide the tears forming in his eyes.

You turn to look at Jimin and Hoseok, giving them a solemn look as you nod your head in the direction of the door, wanting to speak to him privately. 

They seem to understand your gesture as they begin to silently make their way out of the room. Although Jimin hesitates for a moment standing by the doorway. He takes one last look at Yoongi and back to you, his expression unreadable before finally closing the door behind him. 

At the click of the door, you turn your head back to Yoongi, your eyes focused solely on him. Carefully, you take slow steps towards him, you don't know if he notices but if he did he didn’t take any further steps away from you. “Yoongi, you are more than enough for me, you have to believe me,” you urge as you stop a few feet away from him. Careful to not overwhelm and crowd around his space. 

His silence urges you to continue, “I just felt like you didn’t want anything to do with me so I gave you your space,” you explain softly, “But you’re still one of my advisors, I should’ve communicated with you better on the situation. I'm sorry.” 

You take a few experimental steps towards him, assessing his reaction carefully because if you saw any indication that he was uncomfortable by the distance, you would step away immediately. But he gave you none. Even when you were now standing in front of him, he didn’t make an effort to move away. Instead, he finally lifts his head, holding your stare as his tears now running down his face. 

You don’t know what got over you, but at the sight of his tears, you find yourself reaching your hand out until they cup his face gingerly. His breath hitches when your hand caresses his cheek, your fingers wiping away the seemingly never-ending tears.

“Yoongi, you’re more than enough for me,” you repeat softly as you stare into his eyes. Almost mesmerized as his glossy eyes shined back at you making it look as though you were staring at the night sky.

You lean your body forward until your arms wrap around his shoulders, bringing him into a tight hug, “I’ll always need you,” you say in a soft whisper. But no matter how quiet you were, he heard you loud and clear.

He sucks in a breath as a sob escapes his mouth. He doesn’t try to fight you, instead, he wraps his arms around your waist instantly, tightening his grip around your body.

But instead of calming down, his sobs grow louder at the feel of your body against his.

Concerned, you try to pull away but Yoongi only tightens his grip around you as he shakes his head. 

“Don’t,” he whimpers softly, clutching onto you tighter as if you would slip away forever, “please don’t leave me. Not yet,” he cries out. Your heart nearly shattering at the sound of his voice cracking. 

Your eyes soften as you once again relax in his arm, your hands rubbing his back reassuringly as he continues to cry, his tears falling onto the nape of your neck. “I won’t,” you soothe gently, “I won’t leave you Yoongi.”

He sniffles once more, “You’re really back?”

You don’t have it in you to respond with a straight answer. You just couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him like that, especially in his current state. Lying to his face knowing that the empress he knew was no longer the owner of this body. That you were a completely different person, but who in their right mind would believe you. 

So instead, you nod softly, reaching a hand to run through his hair. His tears stream down his face as he chokes back a cry at the feel of your nod. 

You smile bitterly, as you have to keep reminding yourself, the girl he loves isn’t you, it’s the empress. He’s not crying for you, he’s crying for her. 

You had seen this coming, but it still hurt a lot more than you had expected. The world for some reason just wouldn’t stop being cruel to you. 

A young man approaches the darkly lit room slowly, the only source of light being the fireplace that’s barely holding onto life as it seems as though it’s about to die out at any moment.

“Master, I’ve come with urgent news,” the boy announced, news so important he fidgets in his spot nervously as he anticipates his reaction. It’s silent in the room, the only sound coming from the crackling of the fire as the wood burns. 

There, sat in front of a large window was the boy’s master, he had not turned around to face him, instead, opting to stare up at the moon as it shines brightly down on him, “Speak,” he commands in a dominating voice.

The boy nods his head, “We received a report confirming the death of Grand Duke Lee Joong-gu as well as Sir Taehyung, Sir Jungkook, and Sir Jimin stepping down from the rebellion.”

The man hums, immensely intrigued by the sudden news, “and the others?”

The boy shakes his head, “there have been no reports being made of the others stepping down as of this moment master, though many speculate it’s just a matter of time at this point.”

The man bellows loudly at that, as he leans back comfortably in his chair, his eyes shining with mirth, “I told that damn duke not to get too greedy and look what happened. He got caught,” he scoffs as he turns fully around, hands crossed on his desk as he traces the letter he had received from the late grand duke a mere few weeks ago in a bored manner, “Seems what that fool said was of concern after all, her majesty has truly changed.”

The boy nods, “What do you suggest we do now?”

He turns back around, admiring the night sky, “tell my men to continue keeping an eye on her majesty. And report everything to me.”

The boy bows, “yes master,” he responds before turning away, ready to inform those of the new orders. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” the man whistles as he leans back on his chair, “so you truly did succeed in changing the story,” he chuckles and with a dangerous glint he stares up at the moon, “I can’t wait to meet you, new empress.”

A/N: Hey guys!! I’m so sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter, I had to focus on my final exams and all the assignments my professors piled on me at the end of the semester. So I tried to finish this chapter as fast as I could!

I hope you’re all happy with how things went in this chapter. Also sorry for all the drama, I just felt like it would be better for the reader and Yoongi to make up instead of making more chapters of them avoiding each other when they could just communicate about their feelings. 

Thank you everyone for supporting and reading my story! I also love receiving all your kind messages so thank you so much for that!

And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Tagslist: (those in bold, I’m not sure if it worked for you, I’m really sorry, I’m not sure how to fix it) (I also apologize if I forgot to add someone, just comment again and I promise to add you in the next one!!)

@reallysparklychaos, @unknownsageking, @casspirit0705, @fangirl125reader, @silscintilla, @serefara29, @chimtaesty-main, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @diamonddia-mond, @vishakhas-world, @purelyecstacy, @resticou, @woopetals, @magicsweetener, @splaterparty0-0, @daydreambrliever, @strangeobjectmaker, @luna-xial, @m0chilattae, @celaenaelentiyavox, @lindsayjoy444, @layzfeelit, @kimsaerom, @songtiddies, @untamedgrape, @sonnymii, @moonssuga​, @kassandravictoria, @galaxyflab, @blank-et-noir, @nynhope , @midnight1199, @yessii-i, @protontippens, @gguktings, @borahebangtan, @katkrusade, @handsupanddropthepotato, @missseoulite, @cellula-staminale, @red-bow-tie3, @whateveritis616, @ggukkieland, @sbroces, @nnessworls, @yoonieebear

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[masterhandss]

Who do you think katarina will end up with?

Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?

I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.

People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.

I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD

TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))

You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-

I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.

I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).

Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).

Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)

I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.

Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))

Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!

It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)

It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.

And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.

It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much

(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)

It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?

I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).

Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.

So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.

If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao

Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

I Am Not Starfire, And That's Okay

I recently read I Am Not Starfire and I had lots of thoughts, which are under the cut. It is spoiler-heavy and an analysis of the main character, who I find to be a charming, flawed, and incredibly human character.

Mandy is a fascinating character and a great look at a teenage girl who feels ostracized by the people around her and who feels disconnected from her parent. Mandy is by no means flawless, and that's what makes her very interesting. It also makes her relatable.

Mandy starts by talking about how she's noticeably different from her mom, being the "Anti-Starfire". She's a regular kid, can't fly, and doesn't own a swimsuit, while her mom is a superhero, can fly, and always wears bikinis.

On page 11 she mentions "her mom hasn't liked how I looked since I was twelve. She wears less than a yard of fabric every day, yet somehow, I'm the one who's dressing weird". While I understand people who call this slut-shaming, and I'm inclined to agree, but I think it's a little more nuanced than that. The next page reads, "My friend Lincoln convinced me this is the cultural divide that happens between family generations born in different countries or universes. His parents were born in Vietnam." This tells me that the authors intended to point out the difference in dress more as another difference between Starfire and Mandy, and less as a reason to blatantly slut-shame Starfire. I think there's absolutely a conversation to be had about why the authors decided to use this language instead of conveying the point differently. I also think it speaks to how Starfire has more or less been sexualized from inception, and how people look down upon her character because of that. In the context of this book, though, it's one of Mandy's character flaws that I think fits her both as a character and reflects what I've seen from actual teenage girls. Our society coaches us to view women who dress a certain way as less than women who don't and unlearning that takes time and effort. I don't think this comment about her mom should have been put in there by the authors, but I do think it fits in with the values American society in particular teaches about women.

Page 15, 16, and 17 all point to a far more complicated state of existence than Mandy points out within the first few pages. For one thing, Mandy has to deal with people who love her mother and only want to use her to get information about her mom and the other teen titans. This is shown by the "Titan groupies" who ask her to tell Starfire what they say about her. Another thing she has to deal with is the expectation to be a superhero and have powers like her mom, and the questions about who her dad might be. She gains her first real friend, Lincoln, because he tells the people asking about her parentage that they are assholes.

It is revealed that Mandy has a crush on Claire after she gets assigned a group project with her. Mandy is in denial over the crush. She thinks about the fact she's meeting Mandy at the end of the day throughout the rest of the school day, causing her to explode something in Chemistry Class. I find this to be highly relatable and gives her character a softer side to the edginess she desperately tries to portray herself as.

While talking about the project with Claire, it is revealed that Mandy ran out of her SATs and didn't complete them. While Mandy tries to paint this as a cool badass moment, the way the comic artist portrays the scene makes me think Mandy had an anxiety attack. Mandy didn't run out of her SAT because she's some kind of alternative badass who doesn't need to take them. Mandy ran out because she got overwhelmed by the sounds of people chewing and the pressure of the test. While she frames it differently, it's clear to me that Mandy is avoiding taking the SAT again because she doesn't want that to happen again.

When Claire invites her to hang out with her friends, Mandy gets treated like she isn't there, or as some kind of unwanted outsider. The topics they discuss seem to be specifically made to make Mandy uncomfortable, like mentioning how stretchy jeans are only made for fat people, and asking if aliens don't go to college. Jaded by this, Mandy makes up that aliens actually have to go through this huge blood right and battle to the death, but tells Claire's two friends she was joking before leaving. This tells me that Mandy deflects her pain by using humor to cope and has no issue clowning on people who are trying to belittle her for being an alien.

Starfire tries to bring up going to college after this, and Mandy just flees to her room. She hasn't told her mom she didn't take the SAT yet or that she isn't going to college. She feels distant from her mom, which is explained further through a montage of birthdays where she never got her powers. Her mom expects a lot from her, and Mandy thinks Starfire is disappointed about her lack of powers.

Later, Mandy invites Claire over to her house to complete the project they are working on. The Titans are still there when Claire arrives, but she seems to ignore them, as they leave shortly after. Mandy and Claire bond as they continue the project. Mandy reveals to the reader that she's never had a girlfriend, except for one time at sleep-away camp where she kind of dated a girl for four weeks. She didn't tell her who her mom was because she was tired of living in the shadow of a superhero. But the relationship ended because Mandy had lied about who her mom was, and the girl she was dating didn't understand why she would lie. I think this really shows just how much Mandy actually wants to be a normal girl like everyone else, to the extent that she'd lie about who her mom was. Her edgy demeanor at school and around town where her mom is known to be her mom is a defense mechanism to having lived under the shadow of a superhero her entire life.

When it's revealed that Claire took a photo with the Titans at Mandy's house, Mandy is understandable heartbroken, and furious. She thought she had been making a real connection with Claire, but this photo makes her think she's been used, again. Claire seems genuinely baffled by Mandy's reaction to this, thinking little of it. But to Mandy, it is a breach of trust from someone she thought cared about her. I think her angry reaction to Claire makes sense because of this, even if it might have been disproportionate to the offense.

On top of this, Starfire has discovered that Mandy walked out of the SAT and doesn't plan to go to college. After a heated conversation, she runs away, but her mom finds her. And then Blackfire finds her. Turns out the fake story she told Claire's friends earlier in the story was actually true, even though Mandy didn't know it.

Since Claire actually cares about Mandy, she tracks down Lincoln who explains to her why Mandy reacted badly, and that she should probably apologize for taking the photo. Claire also admits that one of the friends from earlier, Deb, actually dared her to take the photo. Claire is a good person at heart, but this action shows that she can still be influenced to do something that would hurt another person. And while she might not have known it would hurt Mandy, Deb probably did.

Starfire and Blackfire fight since Mandy has no powers, but Starfire gets injured causing Mandy to realize just how much she loves and cares about her mom, even though they don't see eye to eye on most things. This finally unlocks her powers, as she's let go of most of the resentment she's held against her mom. She even gets asked for an autograph by someone in the audience after the battle.

The story ends with Mandy training her powers, studying for the SAT, and reconciling with Claire, sharing a kiss, and becoming girlfriends.

I've seen a lot of discourse that frames Mandy as being "not like other girls". I don't believe this framing actually fits Mandy very well. The only girl Mandy ever says she is not like explicitly is her mom. She is the only woman she compares herself too, and the only person who she seems to have a lot of resentment for, aside from people who use her to get to Starfire. Additionally, Mandy falls for someone who is what a stereotypical, normal popular girl is often portrayed as. She's preppy, wears makeup, gets good grades, has friends, and runs a fairly popular Instagram account. If Mandy was extremely into the "Not like other girls" rhetoric, she would've made fun of Claire for all those things. Instead, she admires her for them. Mandy is fat, has acne/freckles, dresses goth, and wears a nose ring. If this is the reason people are identifying her as a "Not like other girls" girl, then they don't understand that trope. Simply dressing differently from your peers, being fat, and hating your mom does not make her the "not like other girls" trope. It actually makes her like other, real-life girls who dress and act similarly, because that's who they are, not because they somehow think they are better than other women.

I'd also make the argument that, fundamentally, Mandy IS different from other girls on the account of having a superhero mother and potentially a superhero father. Her life is completely altered by Starfire's existence as her mom and is likely only relatable to the children of other superheroes and celebrities. She is not like other girls because of her mom, and that still doesn't make her someone who falls in line with the conception of being "not like other girls".

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and hope others do too. I read Mandy as a flawed character who was trying to figure out how to exist outside the Shadow of her mom- and eventually succeeds, by learning to embrace her mom. I would've preferred if Mandy had a slightly darker skin tone, as her features seem black-coded to me and Starfire is also often black-coded. Otherwise, I do think this was one of the best DC Graphic Novels for Young Adults I've read, alongside Teen Titans: Beast Boy and Teen Titans: Raven.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Let’s analyse - the fight against Abaddon

Brought to you by that one anon on @khaleesiofalicante ‘s blog that’s been driving me crazy. They clearly don’t seem to get the gist of the scene, so here I am... *sigh*

Oh, and I am once again asking y’all to learn and develop critical reading skills asksdgfhh

This is gonna get really long, so I’m gonna put it under a cut. Ciao! (Also, I’ve added alt text to all the images, so don’t worry about that!)

I’m gonna focus mainly on Alec in this analysis, on what this fight meant for his character development, and whether or not it determines his worth as a warrior.

First let’s review - what happened before the fight took place?

Let’s start with the confrontation scene between Alec and Clary. Specifically this part, where Clary’s anger gets out of hand and she lashes out at Alec;

However, if you look back to what Jace actually said...

Jace only said that Alec has never killed a demon, and not that he was ‘too afraid’ to do it. It was Clary, unfortunately, two twisted his words. *sigh* anger brings out the worst of people, huh?

However, at this point, the damage has been done, and Alec believes that Jace thinks he’s a coward or something, because he’s never killed a demon. Which plays right into his insecurities of not being a good enough shadowhunter. And the morning before they go to Dorothea’s house, this happens -

From Jace’s point of view, he only spoke the words out of mild frustration over why Alec, his parabatai, wasn’t supporting him, and clearly meant them as a way to convince Alec to come along. He didn’t meant it maliciously. However, to Alec, who’s probably been stewing over what Clary said to him a while ago, it’s only a confirmation that what she said was true, that Jace thinks he’s too afraid to fight demons/forsaken.

Misunderstandings are a bitch.

After that comes this,

I’m including this scene here for two reasons - one, there’s clearly some tension between Jace and Alec, and two, Alec is clearly shown in an archer’s getup, with a quiver of arrows strapped to his back, and a leather bracer on his arm.

But then, we get to this scene, right before they go to Dorothea’s and after they check the demonic activity levels,

Alec ditches his bow and arrow at the last minute in favour of a feather staff.

Why? Because he knows there’s low demonic activity, and therefore low risks of facing demons and/or forsaken.

Because at this point, he wants to prove to Jace (and Clary) that he’s not afraid of killing demons.

At this point you might be thinking, What? That’s so stupid? If he wants to prove he’s a good warrior, he should do it when there’s high stakes. This just proves he’s a coward and a bad warrior!

Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Alec initially has his bow and arrow, when they’re expecting more trouble while fetching the cup. But when he finds out that there’s little to no risk of coming across demons and forsaken, he switches to the feather staff, because he’s thought this through. In a high stakes battle, switching from high-range-defence (which Alec specialises in) to low-range-offence, could be a serious liability and could result in Jace and Isabelle getting hurt with no one to watch their backs. Alec weighs the risks of him switching fighting styles against the stakes of the fight they’re going into, and only when he knows that the stakes are very low, and that Jace and Isabelle won’t be getting hurt that he decides to take up low-range-offence. Like he says to Isabelle, he knows what he’s doing.

Even when his feelings are hurt and he wants badly to prove that he isn’t afraid, he still puts the safety of his siblings first, which is... maybe the opposite of selfish. The irony.

So, yeah. Once Alec knows that his siblings won’t get hurt in his quest for bravery, the mission, for him, becomes all about him trying to prove to Jace (and Clary) that he can be a brave, badass warrior who kills stuff, too. Note how his behaviour changes abruptly in this scene. (“Let’s kick some demon butt!” the second hand embarrassment omg)

And also in this scene:

Alec is generally very goal oriented. Like we see in future books, for missions like these, Alec always focuses on the final goal (retrieving items or rescuing people, etc.) and the demons/forsaken/cult members/whatever he’s fighting on the way becomes secondary to him. Yet here we see that he seems to be equally prioritising retrieving the cup and fighting forsaken, while even Jace is indifferent to the forsaken. Because like I said, at this point he only wants to prove that he’s not afraid.

Now onto the actual fight scene....

All three of them - Jace, Isabelle and Alec, were expecting low demonic activity and low risks. No one expected a fucking greater demon to pop out of nowhere. To them, it’s like... in terms of a video game, playing until level 15 and then jumping to level 95 or something. All three of them are clueless.

And at this point, if you’re holding only Alec at fault for being clueless, when all three siblings are scared shitless (yes, including Jace. It’s canon that he uses humour in a fight when he thinks he’s going to die.)... you’re the one holding gay characters to a much higher standard than the straight ones. Stop doing that, dumbass.

Now, at this point, Alec is in a fix. He’s set his mind on proving to Jace that he can be a brave warrior too, but now he has to protect his siblings too. Except he’s already ditched his bow and arrows, which means there’s no going back. He has no choice but to go on low-range-offence.

So, he does both.

He gets in between Jace and the demon, effectively preventing Jace from getting hit, and strikes at the demon at the same time, injuring it. Basically, Alec tried to hit two birds with one stone, with a weapon he wasn’t as familiar with as he was with the bow. From his point of view, it was foolish - like we see in the graphic novel.

Except... that was a pretty brave thing. He charged in front of a greater demon even though he was clearly afraid of it, for Jace. His fear wasn’t greater than his instinct to protect, even if the need to prove himself was still there in his mind. In the end, Alec was brave. (But at this point, Alec probably thinks that fearlessness and bravery are the same thing, and it may not be until the third book that he realises the difference).

You know Magnus says ‘I think you were I injured in an act of bravery’ or something like that in the graphic novel? Bitch was right. (Damn, now I wonder just how much Alec needed to hear that).

And now, enter Simon

Yes, what Simon did was amazing - but can it really compare to Alec’s archery skills? Now, what Simon did was more endowed in strategy than skill. He knew about the skylight, knew that sunlight is harmful to demons, and utilised that knowledge to his advantage. But the skylight, in an earlier page is described as a single wide pane of glass. Now, you tell me, what’s easier - shattering a pane of glass, or killing a level 95 boss with weapons?

And... why do people feel the need to point out that Simon killed the demon while Alec specifically couldn’t? Why don’t I see people comparing Isabelle and Jace to Simon? Why the gay shadowhunter vs the straight mundane? Why not straight shadowhunter vs straight mundane? Why are you holding Alec to such high standards and say nothing about how Jace, the greatest warrior of his time, couldn’t kill a demon while a mundane could? Double standards, that’s why.

And now for our grand finale-

At this point, Alec doesn’t know the full extent of what really happened. It’s unclear how much he’s processed, but it’s clear he remembers until the point he attacked the demon. He was unconscious for a while, so he may not have witnessed Simon’s entrance. It’s pretty hard to say. But this scene here just goes to prove my earlier point once again - he just wanted to prove to Jace (and Clary) that he was a brave warrior, that he could kill demons too. And now, in his mind, he did kill a demon. He’s proven himself, even if he’s gravely injured now.

(Someone give him a damn hug omg)((Also bless Clary for coming around and being an Angel))

And the rest... well, you know.

Actually, you know what? Thank you, you mean ass anon. You helped me understand my favourite character a little better. I’m only realising now just how much Alec’s arc in the first three books revolves around the idea of fearlessness and bravery. Maybe that’ll be an analysis for another day.

Goodbye for now! And pay attention in English class, folks! Especially the reading comprehension stuff!

[libertyreads]

Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag--

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2022-- I’ve had zero 5 star reads so far this year, but I had a few 4.5 star reads. I reread House of Earth and Blood which I originally rated 4.5 stars. I also read one book this year that I’ve given that rating to which is Kodi by Jared Cullum.

2. Best sequel you've read so far in 2022-- Nemesis Games by James S.A. Corey.  A lot of the focus in this book is Naomi and her past which I found compelling. Not to mention we get to see all of the characters exploring different aspects of this world and their own issues, but they all come back together in the end.

3. New release you haven't read yet, but want to-- Something Wilder by Christina Lauren. I didn’t love the sound of this one when I saw it was coming out this year so I didn’t preorder it, but after hearing some people discuss the book it seems more up my alley than I expected. Also, This Woven Kingdom by Tahereh Mafi. I preordered this one and even took it with me when I was on vacation in Switzerland. But I never got around to diving into it.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year-- I was hemming and hawing over this question for the longest time, but down in my soul I know my real answer: The Final Gambit by Jennifer Lynn Barnes. I love her writing and I love this series. I’m also excited for the new Maureen Johnson coming out at the end of the year which is why this was a hard question for me.

5. Biggest disappointment-- Lore Olympus by Rachel Smyth. It’s not my lowest rated book of the year so far, but it did let me down in a big way. This one had so much hype surrounding it that I didn’t pick it up for a long time, but eventually I gave in. I’m willing to continue this one on WebToon, but otherwise it’s not really worth my time.

6. Biggest surprise-- The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Not to say that this will be a favorite book, but I’m truly surprised I enjoyed this one as much as I did. First of all, it’s 1,200 pages. Insane. I’ve never read a book that long. AND it’s a classic? Who the fuck do I think I am?? But it’s a story of revenge that, after wasting a ton of time locked up in a prison, really captured my attention. And there’s a change in perspective that I didn’t expect but really loved. In the beginning of the novel, the reader knows more about Edmond Dantes’ situation than he does. The reader knows why this is happening and who put the wheels in motion to get him imprisoned for something he never did. But then after he escapes the perspective shifts and Dantes knows more than the reader does. Plus the characters are fully realized in a way I wasn’t expecting. It’s just so good. And...yes I will stop talking about it now.

7. Favorite new author (debut or new to you)-- I was trying to find a different answer in my spreadsheets, but looking over all the new to me authors from this year so far the only one that stood out was the writing duo James S.A. Corey. The Expanse series has taken over my reading life this year and I love it.

8. Newest fictional crush-- I’m going to avoid using this question since a) I read mostly YA and I’m almost 33 years old so...gross and b) I’m married. But we can use this one as favorite love interest instead. Skyler from Places We’ve Never Been by Kasie West. He’s adorable with Norah and so forgiving of her past mistakes.

9. Newest favorite character-- To change things up I’m going to go with Kodi from Kodi by Jared Cullum. It’s a Children’s graphic novel about a girl who meets and befriends a bear in the Alaskan wilderness. The bear is ADORABLE and at one point, while trying to find his girl again, gets on a boat while wearing an adorable sailor’s outfit. Tell me that’s not cute. Just try to tell me that’s not cute.

10. Book that made you cry-- Staying with Kodi, I’ll say Kodi by Jared Cullum. It’s the only book I’ve read this year so far that actually made me cry.

11. Book that made you happy-- The Last Laugh by Mindy McGinnis. I didn’t give this one the highest rating, but I had such a fun time reading this duology. And I felt like this one wrapped everything up so well.

12. Most beautiful book you've bought (or received) so far this year-- I purchased the collector’s edition of Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey while I was in Switzerland with my husband and his dad. After only having read two of the books and one of the novellas. Thank god I’m still enjoying the rest of the series.

13. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?-- I have a stack of books I need to reread before a new book in the series comes out. But outside of that I plan on reading some new releases when they come out and a couple of books on my 40 Books Before 40 list. Some highlights of these lists include: All of Us Villains by Amanda Foody and Christine Lynn Herman, The Final Gambit by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, and Terrier by Tamora Pierce.

[something-in-the-seas]

Sorry to bother once again, (I had the Bioshock Infinite bullshit centrism ask and the Burial at Sea ask) but I’m replaying Bioshock 2 again as well and I can’t help but think...why does this one in particular have such a hardcore fan base? Returning to Rapture just isn’t very thrilling whatsoever, and the level design as well as even the graphic design of ads and art in the world is an enormous downgrade from the first game. Sure, the gameplay was good for 2008, but it has aged pretty badly a few things aside (the improved hacking creates great moments of tension). The color palette of the game goes from brown to dark golds, and the splicers just aren’t as engaging either. The world building and characters just feel incredibly expository and unnecessary. Sophia Lamb and collectivism just feels like cliche cult writing and not as wholly dangerous as objectivism/anarcho-capitalism and also feels like at times it’s just trying to do a critique of left wing politics and it doesn’t work. I understand Rapture is pretty much a post apocalyptic society and is just degrading rapidly, but the world just isn’t as immersive as the first and feels like a cheap imitation. Minerva’s Den really feels like the saving grace of this game, and it’s story is much better, but it is unfortunately relegated to being DLC. People complain about Bioshock Infinite’s retcons, but this entire game feels like it doesn’t have actual canonical parity to the first game and wholly unnecessary. I understand that 2k gave devs a VERY limited amount of time (like maybe a year and a half) and they got screwed over and that contributes to a lot of the shortcomings, but I just don’t understand why people in the OG fandom love it. Levine sucks, but even him and that team got shafted by 2k and forced to streamline a lot of the content they had originally made for Infinite(I was obsessed with the development of Infinite, and they brought in Gears of War and Call of Duty managers to streamline everything for the mainstream gamers from what I remember) Knowing this...why should Levine or that team consider Bioshock 2 a canon entry to the world they created? Through this lens I almost understand why Levine and that development team basically broke that universe with Burial at Sea, quite possibly knowing that studio would be dissolved and knowing 2k(a horrendous company tbh) would want to continue using the brand name and world of Rapture for a thing that team worked on for so long. As far as the Bioshock Rapture novel itself and canon...the novel itself doesn’t take a lot of the canonical events in Bioshock 1 into consideration and a lot of the prose just feels flat :/

Well, as a fan of Bioshock 2, I guess I’ll shed some insight as to why it has such a devoted fan base and why people have really turned around on the game in recent years. The game isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, and Minerva’s Den is fantastic, but it holds a special place in my heart.

Bioshock 2 absolutely still has the best game play in the series. Compared to the original Bioshock, which does feel a bit clunky, and Infinite, which doesn’t even have a weapon wheel, Bioshock 2 takes the combat system introduced in the first game and significantly improves it. Dual wielding plasmids and weapons is a game changer, you’re able to efficiently swap between the two without the wait time of pulling out your weapon. There’s a reason why people want the new game to have 2’s style of combat. Compared to Infinite’s shooting gallery style game play, it still favors exploration like the first but also experimentation when it comes to using your plasmids.

2’s designs and color pallets can still be absolutely gorgeous. It’s been eight years since Bioshock, so things are going to be rusted and in terrible shape. The game also focuses on the poorest parts of Rapture compared to the original game, which has you go to the richest neighborhoods and entertainment centers. Pauper’s Drop isn’t going to be as pretty as Arcadia or Fort Frolic.

Compared to Infinite, which is just twist after twist to try to out do the iconic WYK twist in Bioshock, 2’s story is simple: you’re just a dad trying to save your daughter. However, it does what Infinite cannot and gives you freedom. You’re able to kill or walk away and it changes the story. The characters you meet are less way expository than the ones in Infinite, who just appear to shed some backstory on Booker or Elizabeth and then die. Sparing Slate doesn’t matter, but sparing Grace does.

Grace, for example, is able to recognize Delta’s humanity and turn away from Lamb’s cult because her love for Eleanor is stronger than her fear of Lamb. As you read her audio diaries, you find out she’s an incredibly tragic character who isn’t a bad person, the world has just hurt her. Showing compassion to Grace is something she’ll never forget, and while Stanley and Gil are never seen again, I think if the team had more time, they would have included their responses. It’s implied through the statues in Persephone, though, that Delta sparing Stanley gets him to finally get his shit together and Gil is able to fight back against Alex the Great. The biggest twist 2 comes from Sinclair not being your Judas like Atlas was, even though the game hints at this, but he selflessly sacrifices himself for you and Eleanor because he’s grown to care about you.

Lamb is a controversial villain, but I think she’s miles better than Comstock when it comes to writing. She’s a terrifying, powerful figure who doesn’t rely on sexualization to get what she wants. She’s very intelligent, she runs circles around Ryan and Fontaine. Her ideals aren’t exactly terrible and she started off wanting to do the right thing, but she emotionally manipulates and gaslights people around her to do what she wants. She takes advantage of others and at the end doesn’t care about her “family.” They’re a means to an end for her, the end being Eleanor becoming her “utopian.” She’s emotionally and physically abusive to Eleanor and doesn’t respect her autonomy.

I see Bioshock 2 as less of a criticism of leftism, but more of a criticism on cults and organized religions in general. Unlike the original Bioshock, which has references to Judaism because the majority of the characters are Jewish, 2 has a lot of references to Christianity. A lot of people have a hard time understanding what exactly Lamb believes, but if you put in perspective the similarities The Rapture Family has to the Catholic Church, than things make a lot more sense. Lamb and her followers commit cruel acts under their “religion,” Delta commits good acts because it’s the right thing to do.

2 doesn’t feel very connected to the other games, though it should really with Infinite given the glaring similarities between the two. It feels like it’s own story and that works with me. There are huge stakes with Lamb possibly destroying the world if she wins, but it also has the sweetest father-daughter relationship in gaming. You have Mark Meltzer, who goes through hell and back to find Cindy and gives up his life for her, and you have Delta and Eleanor. There’s no animosity, there’s no tension, they just love each other unconditionally. Delta’s love for Eleanor is so powerful that a whole city full of cultish splicers and Big Sisters just couldn’t stop him.

There’s definitely things in 2 that are problematic like the homophobic brute splicers, but it’s not just my favorite of the trilogy, it’s my favorite game of all time. I love Bioshock 2. I love Bioshock 2 because it doesn’t try to be more than what it is. You’re a dad who loves your daughter, and she loves you. When I first played Burial at Sea, I was so glum that I played Minerva’s Den and Bioshock 2 and I felt so much better with this being the chronological end of the series (for now). Also the Little Sisters are adorable and the highlight of the game, they have so much personality now.

It’d actually break my heart if 2K actually listened to Ken and made it not canon, it’s not his decision to make. Thankfully, though, it looks like we’re getting more 2 and Eleanor content which is awesome. I can’t wait to see an adult Eleanor on next gen graphics in her prime showing off why she’s the GOAT of the OG series.