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jungcherie · 3 years

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XXX

—𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: jeno x fem!reader

—𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 2.9K

—𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: smut

—𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: mentions of STD, unprotected sex, creampie, choking, mentions of oral

—𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: Jeno started working at a porn video production company as an editor, but ended up filming... and even acting.

disclaimer: this is all fiction, I'm not part of the porn industry (means im CLUELESS about it) and i don't have anyone close to me who is into it so, i had to do a research and i got all the info from an interview of an ex porn actress, just to make it more realistic. Nothing, just that, enjoy ;)

Huang Brothers company looked like an ordinary company, although they were all dressed casually and Jeno was the only stupid who was wearing a suit the first day here. The guy who received him laughed when he saw him, he laughed too, but of embarrassment. In his defense, the desperation of get a job to survive was so big that it didn't give him time to investigate more about the place, only that it was dedicated to filming and producing porn videos.

"Well, this is your office," A pretty spacious room with shitty lighting and a dusty desk. "The videos you have to edit are already on the computer, you have a program but if you want, you can download the one that's most comfortable for you"

The slam of the door made him jump out of the place with fright, he was alone in his new workplace. He ran his hands over his face and pulled off the tie that had been choking him from minute one he left home.

Jeno didn't expect he would have millions of videos to cut, paste and fix. He spent about a week trying to finish everything but he kept getting more and more. They were all from the same girl with a different boy.

He also realized, Huang Brothers had a very bad organization, and it was because the company was almost bankrupt. They tried to recover by filming thousands of scenes. Jeno was tired of hearing loud moans through his headphones.

"Lee, we need you, it's an emergency"

Those were the words that made him confuse. He? Why would they need help from a simple editor?

"What's going on?" he asked Renjun as he tried to follow his quick steps, everyone was just as excited as he was, Jeno couldn't understand anything.

"Our cameraman quit at the last minute" he replied, frustrated, opening the door of the set.

Jeno knew very well what that meant, and he panicked. one thing was watching two people having sex through a screen, he wasnt prepared to see and witness it with his own eyes. Also, he wasn't hired to handle a camera.

"But I don't know anything about angles and stuff." In his nervousness, he tried to justify himself and escape. From all the people there, why him?

"Don't worry about it" Renjun stands next to the artifact Jeno was going to use. "The director will guide you and tell you what to do"

He left. There were people everywhere, going around and screaming when a girl appeared in his field of vision, wearing a black satin robe and compared to the whole environment, she was calm, standing with her arms crossed, perhaps waiting for someone to tell her something.

This was the first time he had seen her fully clothed.

"Hey" a touch on his shoulder took his gaze off from her. "I'm Lucas, a pleasure"

Lucas was the famous director who would teach him, he briefly explained he was going to tell him where to focus and truly, it wasnt that difficult work to do.

By the time everything calmed down, the two actors were on top of the bed, naked, and the makeup artists doing their final touch ups, Jeno felt the heat rise up his face, his cheeks were probably red, even though he was watching them through the lens and not directly, he was embarrassed, he muttered wishing he didn't have to hide an erection in the middle of filming.

"We can't film" Lucas says suddenly looking at his cell phone, everyone turned to see him as if he were joking, some angry, others fed up with all this. "There is a positive case of HIV"

Jeno opened his eyes in disbelief, had one of them been infected?

"It's neither of us," the actress spoke. "We can film"

So it was an external case?

"Sorry, Y/N. But rules are rules" Lucas replied before walking out the door followed by all the staff.

You put on the robe and said bye to the boy who was going to perform with you.

"Saved by the bell, honey" you mumbled passing Jeno's side.

A knock on the door caused him to remove his headphones and say 'come in' to whoever wanted to enter his office. Jeno froze when he saw the person on the other side.

"So you're the new editor right?" you said walking towards him, with your arms crossed, to see how he was working on his computer.

About five days had passed since the failed attempt to shoot a video, and he hadnt received any explanation or news about it. Jeno had been left wondering what had happened after that.

"It seems so" he answers raspy voice, he had to clear his throat after saying that sentence. "I'm Jeno"

"Nice to meet you Jeno" you say giving him your hand for him to take, which he did, but in a very hesitant way. "I guess you already know me"

Yeah, I know every part of your body, he thought without saying anything, and adjusted his glasses to go back and continue doing what he was doing. Your presence was making him uncomfortable, every two seconds Jeno glanced over his shoulder to see what movements you were making. "Do you... Need something?" he asked when he already felt unable to move the mouse.

"Oh," you blurted out covering your mouth a bit and walking away from him. "No, I'm just going around the company since, you know, the incident"

"You can't film" he cooed. "Yeah,it stops for a couple of days and they send us to renew our STD tests" he nodded.

The memories of that day haunted him, he knew no one would be the same idiot as him and would agree to work in this company, that meant he would have to work as a cameraman when they said so, and also meant he would see you naked fucking with someone else.

"Why are you here Jeno?"

Curiosity was killing you, why was someone as cute as him involved in one of the most raw and disreputable industries?

Jeno was wearing an oversized shirt, but his pants were tight. You noticed he had big thighs and strong arms. The veins ran through his forearms until they reached his hands, you couldn't help but think about the well-worked body Jeno was hiding under that giant garment.

You ran your tongue over your lips while he had his sight elsewhere.

He didn't look like the previous guys who worked this position.

"I ask you the same"

Jeno didn't understand why someone like you kept working here, literally Huang Brothers was falling apart and you kept making more and more content.

"Surely we have the same reason" you muttered.

"Don't ask him to delete any scenes Y/N! I know you!" Renjun saw through the door you were talking to Jeno and he scolded you, you just rolled your eyes and yelled back you didn't want that.

Were you starting a conversation with him to ask him for a favor? Because if so, it made sense for you to come visit him.

"Don't believe him, I just wanted to meet you" you spoke sweetly, touching his shoulder. Jeno had stopped being tense but he froze again when he felt the physical contact.

You two stared at each other for a few seconds and involuntarily, you ran your tongue over your lips again, Jeno's gaze was positioned right in that place, until he realized he was looking at your mouth in a strange way .

"Nice to meet you, Y/N"

Shit, shit, shit.

That was the only thing Jeno could think about as he hid his face behind the camera lens. This filming was quite exhaustive, every two or three minutes everyone stopped and the makeup artists did touch-ups, the actors changed positions and he was getting closer and closer to them.

Jeno was surprised by his holding, it had been fifteen minutes since it had started and everything under his pants was under control, disgust was winning over his, having the smell of sex entering his nose wasnt pleasant, the lubricant had a very peculiar aroma, almost nauseating, not to mention hearing two bodies colliding rhythmically.

"Cut!" Lucas yells next to him. "Change your position"

Also, the bad thing about this work is that he couldnt take a break, not even go to the bathroom or drink water, and unfortunately for him, Jeno wanted to pee so bad.

The two actors changed position: this time the guy was lying down facing the ceiling while you were on top of him, with your feet on his knees and your hands on the mattress for support. Jeno had a perfect view of your pussy being pounded by that actor's cock, he was going in and out quickly while you moaned loudly.

He was questioning many things right now, first, how the hell did all those men do to maintain an erection for so long? And second, this was a performance, but was the pleasure of sex ever real?

This was the last scene to shoot, Jeno was sweating from fatigue, he wanted to go home, take a shower and sleep in his bed until the next morning, however, what happened right after woke him up more than ever.

You looked straight into the camera, that man's dick still hitting you, your frown and your mouth open. Jeno felt touched, every sound that came out of your throat wore his name, even if it wasnt explicitly, and you wanted to let him know, you wanted to tear down that innocent look that Jeno had and corrupt his thoughts, make him want and think things undue, and you were part of all that.

The thrusts stopped, you were still with his cock inside, feeling how you were filled with all his cum, just by moving your hips a little, you took it out and gave the camera a close-up of your pussy, dripping from a mixed white liquid with your own fluids.

"It's done! Thank you everyone! You can go and clean yourself guys"

Lucas's words were a salvation for Jeno, who nearly dropped the device, and trotted off to the bathroom, his face red and sweaty and an hard on that would be difficult to lower.

Chaos had returned to Huang Brothers, the situation was even worse than before, Jeno wouldnt be surprised if he lost his job in a couple of weeks, or even days, but he didnt understand why the company didnt fire everyone and finally close.

"You are the only actress we have left" Hendery, one of the directors could be heard on the other side of the door. "We can't film"

"Why not? I can do a solo" you protested. "You can, but you won't get many views"

Jeno snorted, of all sectors in this building, why should they stand in front of his office and argue there?

"There is something wrong?" he asked opening the door and surprising the two people on the other side. You and Hendery didn't utter a word or sound, you two stared at Jeno's body. He was wearing a tank top, now you could see his arms and his shoulders.

It is as if you and Hendery are connected, because you looked at each other at the same time and smiled as if you had the same idea, which in fact, you did.

At first, the offer to act in a porn video sounded like a joke to Jeno, although after seeing your serious face when asking him to participate with you he knew it wasnt a joke at all. You insisted a million times and he refused a million times.

"Please do it" you said, almost begging. "No, Y/N. I don't want to be naked on a porn site" he replied back.

"Please, you have a good body, I'm sure everyone would love you"

And after some lengthy discussions, Jeno agreed, knowing that he would probably regret it at some point.

Nerves dominated his entire body, he had already been tested for STDs, had shaved to the core and bathed before filming. He was afraid of not getting an erection, or not being able to maintain it for long. Of course Jeno had had sex before, but doing it while everything was recorded was something else.

And do it without a condom too.

"Are you good?" You asked him when you entered the room, Jeno was hiding in his office, cowering from his decision, he could only nod quickly, breathing rapidly. You walked over and took his hand to calm him down a bit. "It's okay, if a problem arises, everything has a solution"

The set was the same, the design of that room was different from the last time he had seen it. There weren't many people around, not only one actor had quit, but more of the staff had left.

"Well, guys," this time, the director was Hendery and not Lucas. "As you can see, the makeup artists are gone, so we will have to make this simpler and more amateurish"

Jeno frowned, confused, he wasn't understanding what Hendery meant. "That the video is going to be a single shot, without cuts, without editing"

You and Jeno had to reach at least six minutes.

When Hendery indicated that you could start, everything around you no longer existed. You had told Jeno everything that was done during the shoot was consensual and planned, although you and he hadnt agreed on anything, you just got carried away.

A good way to waste time was foreplay, it is something that in many videos wasnt going to be seen and some people say its better than sex itself.

You two were kissing slowly, Jeno took you by the neck and waist while you had your hands on his chest, little by little, he began to lower his limbs until he reached your hips, then the sudden grip made you jump and hook your legs around your waist, your lips didn't detach in any moment, and with firm steps, Jeno went to the bed.

He took a seat, you sat on his lap with both legs at the sides of his body, Jeno massaged your ass and you caress his arms with gentle movements, his skin crawled, you could already feel his erection grow underneath.

You both stopped and looked at each other without saying anything, soon a smile started to appear on each of your faces.

The sheets came into contact with your skin when you lay down on the mattress, you took off your bra to expose your chest, Jeno instead took off the only garment he had and was completely naked. He ran two fingers over your panties quickly that made you let out a sudden sigh, he traced a path of kisses all over your stomach until he reached one of your nipples and caught it with his teeth, gasps came out of your mouth when you felt him playing with his tongue.

Your nails scratched his hair, trying to let him know he was making you feel good.

Where was the shameful Jeno?

By that time at least three minutes had passed, and and the good hadn't even started.

He returned to your lips to kiss you and take off that garment that was quite annoying once and for all. He pulled away momentarily and slid the panties down your legs, always looking into your eyes. Jeno had lost the glow in his pupils, his aura had changed and had turned dark, you couldn't be more satisfied with this.

He lay down on the bed and let you position yourself on top of him, the desperation you had to have him inside you so immense that you omitted the idea of sucking his dick.

Both of your hips at the same height, Jeno ran his tip through all your folds, soaking it all, causing him to groan. You withdrew his hand and took it with yours, aligned it with your hole and lowered, bending your knees, taking it entirely and without problem, your moans got mixed.

It really felt different and better, Jeno thought to the touch of your walls trapping him.

You start to move up and down rhythmically, letting the camera see Jeno's cock go in and out of you, causing you pleasure, letting out moans that sounded different from the others. He could notice, the sounds you were emitting now sounded more realistic in his opinion, Jeno couldn't help but think they were because of him, and he increased his grip on your ass, digging his nails into you, which would probably leave the odd mark later.

The six minutes had passed a long time ago, you looked tired, and Jeno decided to change positions. Now you were lying down, your legs spread, giving him all access to you.

Something you never thought would happen was that Jeno were into choking, but it made you smirk. His palms around your neck applying pressure added to his hard thrusts, was something you were enjoying more than ever.

He looked at you, you were grabbing his wrists, eyes almost rolling, you tried to speak even though you couldn't, however the clenching of your walls warned Jeno, you were close. He didnt stop at any time and continued until your legs were shaking and he was left with his dick pulsing, he made sure every drop of his cum was inside you.

Both sweating and tired, you kissed one last time and Jeno came out of you. Seconds later you could see the white liquid drip out of your hole.

"Bravo! That was a great performance guys!"

#kpopcatalog #nct scenarios #nct timestamps #nct drabbles #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct smut #jeno smut #nct jeno

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vonkarma2 · 3 years

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Teen beach movie 2 is prime video essay material. How teen beach movie 2 broke me. Ok teen beach movie 2 analysis under the cut

But for real the premise is that in teen beach movie 1 the two main characters became trapped inside their favorite 1960s teen beach movie. But then in teen beach movie 2 characters from the movie visit the real world. But then as soon as the main character leaves people start mysteriously disappearing inside the movie. The mechanics of this universe aren’t really relevant but I want to point out that within the movie characters act out the same events over and over and just view it as “the stuff they usually do” while being fully conscious they repeat the same acts over and over and view it as normal, which is fine. (Side note, this is actually pretty charming and it makes a potentially horrifying concept much less nightmarish. It’s just like that essay where we must imagine Sisyphus happy Idk I haven’t read it)

But the main character of the film, Lela, becomes dissatisfied with her role and wishes for more agency in her life (which is what leads to her visiting the real world) and at one point early on she stops going along with the story in a key moment, before apologizing and acting like normal. But how often do these characters repeat the events? We know that when characters in the movie change their actions, the movie retroactively changes in the real world, so we can assume that anything that the movie characters do in their world on the most recent loop becomes the irl version of the movie. Most of that’s not directly relevant I just thought it was kind of interesting.

(Although that does have some insane implications in the universe with regards to the production of films but whatever.)

So the main point I want to make is this. Teen Beach Movie 2 is a Disney channel original movie. The in universe film Wet Side Story is regarded by the characters as silly or at least unrealistic, but still charming and enjoyable. But the characters in the ”real world” of Teen Beach Movie 2 are also in a movie, and pivotally, an audience older than the movie‘s target audience will also view the real world as completely unlike reality. Even in universe they distinguish the real world from the movie world by showing characters’ parents and referencing the outside world, but these are very very limited, and still make the real world of the film seem small and limited. Like it’s not really much more convincing that there is a world outside this story. This is exemplified by the fact that the in universe movie is a musical, and so is the movie when not. in the movie. (Which is weird because having the movie only be a musical while they’re inside the movie seems pretty obvious but whatever. If you understand musicals you can know that this isn’t reality breaking it just means that Some musical numbers are diegetic and others are not.) All of this makes the movie very surreal.

You could think the actual real writers could use the in universe movie to poke fun at the actual real movie they were writing. But they for the most part don’t (maybe they do in teen beach movie 1 idk I haven’t seen it.) meaning the film appears to take itself seriously, another important quality. It’s like for kids, obviously, so it’s not going to be written from like a place of genuinely trying to be serious or represent reality, but there aren’t any (like aside from like 1 time and I guess you could interpret jokes about background characters not saying anything as being abt Disney channel sitcoms if you wanted to which btw victorious did it first but idk I wasnt really paying attention to this movie) self aware jokes or anything like that.

(Edit for clarity, I kind of disagree with some of this now that I’ve thought about it more. I don’t want to rewrite the whole section because I’m too lazy but I think there is a bit of self parody of Disney movies in general, it’s just that it’s only done overtly in the in universe movie section or how the movie characters affect the “real” characters so my point for the most part still stands.)

What this means is that the characters in the “real world” of the movie take themselves and their world seriously while recognizing the world of the in universe film. It is very obvious to point out that that’s exactly the same thing the characters in the univein universe film are doing, so like, don’t worry, that’s not my conclusion. Not that there will be a meaningful conclusion to this. But anyway, at this point we can recognize that both camps think they have free will and are wrong, and that the ”real world” characters think they have self awareness and critical thinking, and are also wrong.

Except that that’s not true!! Well, it obviously is true, since teen beach movie 2 is a movie, but there’s another meta layer to this before we get to our real reality. Or two of the layers swap places or something. Or two of the layers combine, or are put on equal tiers? Or Lela becomes a god akin to in the renowned work of classical literature, Puella Magi Madoka Magica. But in a meta way. Writing this is such a waste of time omg.

But anyway, basically, Lela becoming dissatisfied with her life was only possible due to her being visited by the two characters from the real world, and without that she wouldn’t have known that changing the story of her life was possible. But because of that visit, she is able to not only change her world, but also the real world of the film due to retroactively editing history. A film character is more “real” than the real characters due to her influence over their timeline.

So after she leaves her movie world to go to the in universe real world people start disappearing from her reality because they can’t survive without her presence (an early sign of how she’s the center of her universe). Then when she spends more time in the real world, and is joined by her love interest Tanner (and eventually the rest of the movie characters) both of them starts to disappear as well. Except no they don’t, because Lela never shows signs of disappearing (or at least Tanner starts to disappear before her) but that definitely wasn’t intentional. The only thing that happens to her is that her abilities such as turning all clothes into 1960s outfits while she wears them disappear, which only indicates she is becoming more real. This is reflected in the costuming, where Tanner and all the other 1960s characters keep their original looks while she eventually wears modern clothes and a modern hairstyle (that side note look pretty good for a Disney channel original movie although her 60s outfits were better), the script, where she loves the new world she visits while all the other characters want to go back home, and the acting, where I think she’s definitely one of the better actors, or at least is given better material and/or plays the material with nuance. Also she looks and sounds distractingly like Alison Brie in Community.

When she does eventually have to go back to her world to, yk, save the lives of her brother her boyfriend and her friends, she changes the films plot: it is now much more feminist, and centered around her (but not in a malicious way, the other characters don’t mind and she was already the lead anyway). Basically, she was able to change her own destiny. But that’s not the main point. Yet. I am not structuring this essay very well.

The reason she was able to change reality was because of Mac, the other female lead of the film and a character from the ”real” world. Mac is a hardworking straight a student in a way that actually is pretty realistic for a high school student, but anyway she has a more feminist perspective, which she shares with Lela when she goes to the world of the film. This is explicitly what inspires Lela to try to get more out of life and leave her world, and on top of that at the end of the film when Lela is distraught she won’t be able to stay in the ”real” world that she loves, a speech from Mac is what gives her the idea to change the plot of the movie inside the world. But the wanting more out of life is more important because it’s what solidifies Lela as the character in the movie with the most depth, ie the most real, which is definitely helped by her actors performance. I don’t know anything about acting so I could be wayyyy off but to me it felt like it was noticeably better than the other main actors of the movie, or at least more nuanced. I could talk more about the acting because there were some interesting (some bad) choices made there but it’s not too important so I’ll skip over it.

The important part is that thanks to Mac, Lela was not only able to transcend her reality, but also Mac’s. You see, after Lela retroactively changed the movie she’s in to be completely different. Crucially, this affects the past of Mac’s reality: she never met her boyfriend, because they never bonded over the original version of the movie (which, btw, is now considered an ahead of its time feminist film, just like Teen Beach Movie 2 is in real life.) Also, although Lela and the rest of the teen beach movie people remember everything, the real world characters don’t remember anything, since they never met the movie characters because they never watched the movie.

(Brief tangent, this high key doesn’t make sense because I believe in teen beach movie 1, Mac was going to go to a prep school the next year and then decided not to because of the events of the film. So she wouldn’t be here to host the dance. whatever butterfly effect. Also this does unintentionally confirm that her character development would have happened with or without her boyfriend so I guess that makes this movie even more feminist than it already is.)

This proves that the film reality transcends the real world reality, and although all the film characters are technically part of this reality, Lela is the ONLY one who ever wanted to change things in her reality. The message is clear, she transcends every other other character in the Teen Beach Movie franchise.

You know what else this is like? Puella Magi Madoka Magica, wherein Homura’s love for Madoka is what makes Madoka so powerful and allows her to rewrite the timeline as well. These two sets of characters also contain similar levels of homoeroticism. Im not kidding. This isn’t about me wanting a pairing to happen; I don’t ship teen beach movie characters. I swear it’s there in the movie if you watch it. Listen to me god damn it. At minimum, Mac and Lela have the most plot important and one of the top two most emotional bonds between characters. Teen Beach Movie 2 is like pmmm if Homura forgot Madoka.

The whole movie is actually kind of bittersweet in the end. Like Mac and whatever her boyfriend‘s name is I can’t remember find each other again, but their whole bond and memories of their best summer and their movie friends were erased. (And like, in this movie, they were super happy to see each other again it was honestly pretty sweet.) And Lela was able to create her own story and be herself, but she’s still stuck in a world she would rather not be in but that she can’t leave. Not to mention the divide between her and the other movie characters, I definitely think in universe they’d get over this based on the way everyone is written throughout the film but like I don’t think it’s a stretch to argue that she can’t relate to them or that she’d wish she could leave again based on how much she preferred the real world and didn’t want to leave it. Which is honestly pretty sad for the rest of the characters too, especially her brother (who by the way has an incredibly bad New York accent that I’m 90% sure was inspired by Newsies) who is fully aware she didn’t want to go back to the movie world even if it meant leaving him behind.

(Although to be fair she might not have been thinking that far ahead, she might have wanted to like. Live in the real world but visit the movie world from time to time. They really don’t go that much into detail with it.)

Tldr feminism and wlw break reality. To be fair I did say there wasn’t going to be a meaningful conclusion like it’s Teen Beach Movie 2 not even the first one.

#will probably delete this later as it is cringe

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tobebugjewce · 3 years

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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;

Technical Support 1978

then,

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

#the walten files #twf #notes #horror

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foulserpent · 4 years

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i just woke up from a dream that i was like kind of in kind of not in a videogame. it looked like fallout 4 (modern, abandoned buildings) but it was supposed to be ESO. and mephala was the main villain of a new story arc, and she was coming in the form of storm clouds with snake heads coming out of them. and within the dream i was thinking and commenting on how this was kind of ooc and stuff. and i think i was filming the whole time? and intending to edit it together in a comedic way

so throughout the dream theres repeated bossfights against mephala as tornados and i wa s filming. and then came like, the final boss battle. the tornado suddenly disappeared but we all knew it wasnt over. and in the distance there was a silhouette forming slowly and we were all like ‘oh shit. giant mephala’.

and someone with me was like ‘quick play some heterosexual music’, not as like a way to fight mephala but as background for the video. and dream me considered ’danger zone’ and ‘dont you want me’ to be the two most heterosexual songs.

and by this point giant mephala is getting pretty close and i was specifically remarking on how her design sucks. she pretty much just looked like a human in bikini armor and had a sexy walk animation

and the next part i cannot remember the details of for the life of me but someone else in my group turned giant somehow. i dont remember if they were a giant human or monster or what. but they fought mephala and mephala was defeated by getting slapped in the face and the whole time i was thinking this scene was stupid

and the last part i remember clearly is i was lying on my back with rain pouring down and i turned the camera to face my face and specifically said ‘ESO has shat the bed’

#i think there was a later part of the dream where i was reviewing footage and getting really annoyed because #my nose looked tiny in it

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sillypandalover91 · 4 years

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Part 2: After the Auction

Alastor wasnt used to losing.

Not in the sense that he would flip over the board of monopoly if someone had stolen Boardwalk and Park Ave. from right under his nose. Though Husk swore that he would never again count cards when playing with Hazbins no matter how hilarious Alastor's face had been when he handed over the last of his colorful paper money to the feline when he landed on the overpriced blue territories.

No, Al wasn't a sore loser.

But this DrAngler44 was a bad winner if he ever saw one.

"Computer offend you again, babe?"

Alastor had gotten into a habit of playing with Angel's laptop while he went through his hour long nighttime ritual of thoroughly bathing himself, drying and dusting his fur and followed by his face routine and ending by brushing his teeth.

The laptop had been a gag gift from Vaggie, who had found it amusing to see the two old men fumble their way trying to figure out how to use it. After figuring out how to set it up, Angel was the first to master searching for things and using helltube. Alastor was more than happy to call it Angel's laptop if it meant he didnt have to continue embarrassing himself trying to figure the damn thing out.

But then Angel, during their nightly cuddles, mentioned finding a funny sounding video on Helltube that one of his fans uploaded recently. It was a haul of his merchandise, both recent and vintage.

And the vintage items certainly caught Alastor's attention. He scrolled down to the comments, smile widening as he figured out how to torment demons in a way that wouldn't upset Charlie. Angel's delighted face as they watched the doe demon unwrap a limited edition trilogy called "Lady Science".

"Holy shit," cried Angel, accidentally jostling Alastor in his excitement, "Sorry, babe."

Alastor rolled over on to his side but kept a hand buried in Angel's fluff, "It's no problem at all, cher. I take that you are fond of this particular installment of your rather impressive repertoire?"

Nodding, Angel turned down the volume but paid careful attention to the goodies that came in the set. "This one was so much fun to do. The director is an incubus, one of Lady Lilliths personal court now, which is a shame cause I loved working with him so much."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he gave me artistic control and even let me write this one! It did so well that we did two more. You should really listen to the commentary on that one, it's a hoot!"

"Do all of your picture shows have commentary?"

"Some of them, yeah. Well, the fun ones do." Angel glanced down at his thighs where the bruises were covered by his pajama pants, "Mostly the ones Val ain't got his nasty little talons in which, these days, they're few'n between."

After that conversation, Alastor borrowed a few films from Angel's library and, with Husk's reluctant help found the commentary.

"I'd ask why you're watching porn of your boyfriend banging other guys but quite frankly I dont give a fuck," grumbled Husk as he took a seat next to him.

Alastor paused the video and gave the feline a side glance, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"What? It's not like I'm going to beat off with you here and I know your virgin ass isnt going to get off to this either."

Eyes and smile sharpening, Alastor said, "My good fellow, the implication that you are going to, as you crassly put it beat off did not go unnoticed. I'm not going to let you watch my beau in the throes of ecstasy."

Husk snorted, "Why not, all of hell has."

"They're not my friends, Husker. Now, go away. I'd hate to cut our friendship short because you lust after my darling."

At this, Husk spat out his beer, "I- I don't, you know what, I'm not drunk enough to unpack that one. You enjoy," he squinted at the title, "Angel in The Baby Sitter."

"I intend to, old sport~"

One film had turned into two and three, five, until Alastor watched well over half of the videos in Angel's collection.

Who knew Angel was so beautiful when he was genuinely happy and having fun without the use of drugs. Ah, he did! But it was still refreshing to see him this happy when at work.

It was so endearing that he couldnt help but want to see more. Unfortunately there were only so many films left in Angel's library and the newer stuff had Valentino written all over it. So once again enlisting Husk's help, Alastor learned how to use the laptop to find where to buy Angel's earlier work.

"You know you can always ask him to get you more...fucking addict." The last part was muttered under his breath so Alastor ignored it.

After all it wasn't an addiction and it was, well, there were worse things to be addicted to than wanting to hear Angel's witty comments and joyous laughter.

"Or you can watch the actual porn with him and have him comment irl." Both men turned to see Cherrie grinning at them, "What? The princess said I could visit with my bestie so long it was in the parlour. Bet she didnt know there were a couple of old horny motherfuckers in here already."

Slamming the laptop shut, Alastor picked it up and made his way out, "What you do with your mother is your business. Now if you excuse me, I have things I need to win."

Angel found out because there was no way his sales suddenly boosting both on the Studio's website and on auction sites went unnoticed by Val who asked him to his office and nervously informed him that all future productions were going to be overseen by the incubus director Angel was so fond of.

That had been a few months ago and Alastor usually always had that air of self satisfaction that he usually attributed to an amazing release but Al wasn't one to do that and his self satisfaction came from securing items lesser demons wanted to get their repulsive hands on.

Those nights always resulted in heated make out sessions and some light petting on Alastor's part and ended in cuddled sleep.

Tonight, however, when Angel stepped out of the bathroom, he found Alastor glaring at the computer screen face void of a smile before carefully and slowly typing with his two index fingers.

Angel covered his mouth to hide his endeared smile, "Computer offend you again, babe?"

"Not the computer," muttered Alastor, his brow furrowed in concentration as he continued to type out his message in the chat of the auctioning website he frequented, "Some imbecile is flaunting the lot I wished to procure."

"Aw, I'm sorry, doll." Walking up behind his disgruntled beau, Angle draped his arms around Alastor's shoulders and rested his chin between his fluffy ears, giggling as they twitched in response, "You know I can just go through the Studion Vault and steal ya whatever you want. Not like Val actually keeps track of my older work anyway."

Alastor stopped typing and glanced up at Angel, "You mean you can find me this beautiful photograph of yourself? And the corresponding body pillow?" He pointed at the images DrAngler44 uploaded, "I loathe the idea of this creature having these photos of you but I admit that it is wholly because I had just the spot for them in my office at the radio tower."

When Angel didn't respond, Alastor frowned and spun around on his chair to tug Angel onto his lap, "Mon ange?"

"I haven't seen these in years," replied Angel, still staring at pictures. "Hells, this was the very first time I ever let my stupid feet be photographed. I had to beg Val to destroy most the of the copies and cut the photo off at the feet. You know there are only like 3 of these, right?" Ignoring the sudden burst of static, he counted off who had the other two copies, Vox has one cause, of course he had to have my feet in his possession and Lucifer has the other one cause Lilith thought I looked cute."

The static grew worse behind him and, now that he thought about it, maybe he shouldn't have brought Vox up. Angel felt Alastor tightened his hold on him, "You ok, baby?"

"Can you help me write my message," gritted out Alastor through his smiling teeth. Angel typed it out much quicker and sent it with Alastor's approval.

Alastor got up and carried his beau to bed where he tucked Angel in much to the spider's protest, "What about you?"

"Oh, I'll be back soon, cher. Vox has something I want."

#radiodust #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel angst #im just gonna upload this to ao3 #eventually #its become something of a fic #panda writes

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lotussokka · 4 years

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here are my golden mv thoughts:

overall it was fun and i liked it

i loved the aesthetics of it.

the wardrobe choices (the driving gloves !!), the beautiful filming locations, the color editing that made everything feel warm and golden

... but i think it really took a hit being filmed during a pandemic. it felt empty in a way that is incongruous with the visual aesthetics of the video and the song itself

i know why it had to be filmed the way it was and as a golden stan sibce my first listen, im so glad we got a video for it. even if i think it wasnt as good or as fun of a video as i think harry and his creative team wouldve made for it if the situation was different

my favorite shots were the ones where the camera was underwater with harry crouching over it and the shots in the yellow hat and tan flower print trousers bc they were so fun and endearing

his small interactions with passerbys were some of the best moments of the video. the salute !! laughing with the people in the car !!

i liked the running shots and he looked so !! good !! i just wish there was less of it (i want there to be less of it and kiwi/adore you-esque shenanigans in its place so i could post about how i want the director to release the full cut of all his running)

his hair looked so good !! and i am once again reminded of my ongoing joke that theres no reason to watch outl*nder bc you can just look at various photos of harry styles to experience all the good parts without all the blatant homophobia/biphobia, sexism, racism, colonialism, rape scenes, historical inaccuracies, questionable costume choices, cheesy dialogue, cisheterosexual bullshit, etc

theres just no reason to watch a 30 yr old be a thirst trap playing a character from the ages of 16/17–50+ when you can look at harry styles being a cutie and a snacc running around italy/scotland (for adore you)

its good. im grateful to harry for the new content and for saying “golden rights!” but i think it wouldve been significantly more quirky and fun if they hadnt need to worry about covid transmission

#you dont care #okay now im going to try to sleep off my migraine #hs golden #hs2 #harry

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palcicle · 5 years

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Timezones Unsolved

General

- this is not like buzzfeed unsolved cuz I havent watched it and dont want to

- demons are like. These sort of evil things. They dont exist in hell cuz that's. Religion

- demons exist in another dimension that's like rlly chaotic. They exist to make the real world more chaotic. No one knows why. Not even the demons.

- the Biggest demon is shlatt. Ppl arent exactly sure if hes even real but he still has influence no matter what.

- shlatt has a number of underlings (one of which is mo) who try to cause chaos in the real world thru middle management.

- now. Ghosts. When people die, sometimes they die peacefully. Sometimes not. Ghost happened when people dont.

- sometimes ghosts come to peace and leave but some just wanna vibe irl. So they do.

Ok so humans (?)

Andy

-hes just like a dude. But hes cool

-the leaves on his head were, at first, just because he climbed through some bushes in the first video. They became part of his brand.

-once he got really popular, he got a beanie made with felt leaves on the top.

-he made a youtube channel a while ago. His first video was him exploring an abandoned warehouse. He got spooked by Bee, who was there, vibin.

-he edited it very good. It exploded. Ppl memed him.

-his channel, Ayap-Ghosts, went viral overnight. He went from tinyyyy lil baby channel to a cultural phenomenon literally in 24 hours.

-good thing he happens to be VERY good at editing and filming n stuff.

-though, however good he is at youtubing he is in this au, one dude cant keep a big youtube channel up for more than a month without burning out n dying, which brings us to

-ok, so now we have to define demons.

-I know this category said humans at the top. Shut up. Lemme talk.

-demons are made of two things and two things only. Stories and allegiance to shlatt.

-all demons have an original story (ie: some dude sees something creepy in the woods) and then once theyr created one of the shlatt underlings finds them and gets them in. Theres like facilities. Its actually rlly nice.

-so what's the problem with mo? Shlatt never found her.

-shes just. Hanging out in creepy places.

-the thing is, she pretty much passes for a human, (excluding the mask she cant take off) and because of that, she has to eat and stuff.

-so what job lets someone show their face rarely, encourages weirdness, and lets you keep a finger on the pulse of the demons?

-Ayap-ghosts editor.

-once she was fully created (which took about a month of retellings of the creepy girl in a bird mask (sidenote: probs just someone's Halloween costume)) she hung out for a while, waiting for someone to come get her, and when it became clear no one was gonna get here, she started realizing that she needed to eat.

-once she got really hungry, she found out she could get a job.

-and then andy posted the first video.

-she saw that he needed an editor/extra filmer, and she jumped on the opportunity, and just like. Drove over to his house and was like "ok I live here now"

-the thing with demons though, the more people retell and add to their story, the more powerful they become.

-Mo (and soph but I'll get to that later) is very very powerful. Ayap-ghosts has fan communities who tell their story and await their weekly uploads!

-though, a channel would be nothing without its content. Which brings us to

Ghosts and Demons

Bee

-when she first met andy, she was just chilling in a local warehouse, when this kid with leaves on his head (???) Just wandered in scared looking with a camera.

-she decided it would be very fun to torment him.

-she followed him around for a bit and then popped thru a wall. Very scary stuff.

-once he uploaded the video, she realized this could actually be really cool.

-she just like, went over to his house also. (Same night as mo)

-and was like "hey whaddup".

-andy freaked out at first but bee calmed him down. She offered to be part of the channel.

-also, smol tangent, ghosts (and demons) can look however they want, so bee and soph chose to look scary for the Views.

-so now, filming consists of bee, mo, and andy driving out to some spoooooky place ("this is bullshit I dont need cars I can float" "stfu bee the rest of us have corporeal forms")

-and then setting up some scary scenario for mo and andy to film. So Andy's fear is pretty much all a complete bit. Theyr all havin fun guys.

Soph

-demon

-bit of a high level one too, high up enough on the chain to have met shlatt personally once.

-she used to be not as high level though. At first she was just a lackey but! One day, shlatt heard of a very successful youtube channel.

-he sorta rifled thru his files and was like heres one! Hey soph get over here!

-soph got over there.

-he was like "go bother these kids" and she was like "ok"

-she got there to see a ghost, a sorta demon, and a human dude filming a spooky video

-so at first shes like "hm I know how to cause chaos" and destroys the film set.

-they just sorta laugh. A broken flim set is just as creepy as anything

-and she like "huh"

-and then she watches them. This is about the third video they've done together so they have a sorta rythm.

-and she realizes that their goals are the same!

-at the end of the video, she goes down and apologizes. And everyone, to her surprise is like "oh it's all cool"

-and then all of them sorta just arrange to meet once in a while and film! Soph shows up sorta rarely (demon business, yknow) but she still shows up regularly.

Misc

-theres no story is just these three are friends and they do videos.

-Andy's good at baking. I just decided this now. It fits w his charater idk.

-mo tried to help once. Mo is not good at baking.

-soph tells mo about the demon world. Mo still wants to be part of it but shes happy where she is.

-Andy is really scared in the first video, but not in any of the others. None of the others were sorta ""real"" even though the first wasnt either.

-theyr all just friends idk what else to do w this.

@ayapcraft @jokoswrld @positive-hell @cscoopsunocards

#loud leafy greens #tzus #timezones club #timezones unsolved #yes im using all those tags i put like an hour into thos #so if anything in this is like weird ill delete it. just gotta tell me.#long post

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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It was really nice to have this random day off. And we were lucky and the storm didnt hit out neighborhood to bad. It was raining for a few hours but no trees went down and the power stayed on. I am curious what camp had happen, because while we are okay here in the city, my Pennsyivania friends and family had a lot of damage and flooding. Crazy how it can affect us so differently.

While today was good it did give me some motivation to again try to do more with my free time. Camp is only a few more weeks and then. Who knows. Like I'm available for camp stuff if they have anything but thats not guaranteed. And so far the BMI isnt opening up any time soon. James says not to worry about it to much. But I still am. I have an idea about maybe doings ome filming for youtube, like art making and things like that. It kind of gives me anxiety because editing videos makes me feel bad. But maybe it would be a good skill to learn a little of.

And I did make work today. Not filming yet. I will try to figure that out more in september. But I worked on my quilt.

I slept well. And I woke up at 830 in a good mood. It was raining and windy. But no leaks from our windows or anything. James was having french toast and gave me a few bites before I went to go get dressed for the day. I felt cute. It was a good day. I checked on our island and it was Bones's birthday today! So I went to his house for his birthday and gave him a gift. And then went to work in the studio.

I put all the pieces of the part of the quilt Im working on together. Ironed and sewed that. Then I laid out my backing fabric and decided to center it and I will put larger pieces of quilted squares to finish it. I am hoping to work on that this weekend maybe. I might need to go get more fabric, but for now were going to just work with what I have.

James made me a grilled cheese and soup for a late brunch and after that we cleaned the apartment. It isnt finished but good progress was made. Im hoping to go to ikea this weekend to get some organization stuff so well see how that goes.

The sun came out in the afternoon, James made us burritos, and soon after that James decided to take a ride and I went to lay in the studio.

But I didnt fall asleep. And that was good because James got another flat tire!! Why does this keep happening? It is not fun!! So I got my sleepy self up and went to get him. I wasnt happy but I was glad I was able to save him.

When we got home though I was just. So tired. And I finally did sleep until almost 6. And it was a good nap. Deep. James came and laid with me for a little before he got up to make us dinner.

Its been a good day. I am tired but it feels like a regular end of the day tired. I hope tomorrow is just a good day and I hope you all have fun and be safe. Goodnight everyone!

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peacedolantwins · 6 years

Text

Clean Part 5 (E.D)

So this one is pretty long compared to the last part and theres actually some more plot

warnings: mentions of past drinking

A few weeks had passed and every time you would think about telling them, you would freeze or you would be cut off by one of them talking about something else as you were about to speak. You were trying, but the timing was always off.

At this point their fans knew you two were together. Some of them supported you two and thought you were cute together, while others saw you as annoying and just using him for god knows what. While you tried to pretend it didn't bother you, it still did. You were just thankful you had deactivated all your accounts on social media before any of this started. It was easier to avoid the hate when no one could tag you or find out more about you.

When you would check twitter or Instagram, you usually just used James account to scroll through things when you were bored. You saw the edits people made of snaps taken of the two of you, but you never really looked at them. You were happy with your relationship and you knew who you were, you didnt need drama accounts to over analyze anything you did.

As you quickly found out, their fans are quite the detectives. Within the first few days of the first picture of you two being out, they were able to find out that you were actually friends with James and Ian. They had somehow managed to find that out even though they had no idea what your name was or even a full photo of you. The picture that had been posted was only of the pair of your guys legs sitting next to each other in the pool and they managed to figure you out just from the small flower tattoo on your ankle.

It was slightly frightening to be honest. You were scared what they would find if they kept digging. What if they somehow found all the old videos you tried so hard to escape from? What if one of the people you used to consider friends still had photos of you when you were at your absolute worst? You tried not to think about it too much, but the thought was always there.

Everyone had decided to go to Disneyland to film a video, and while you were okay staying home, they all insisted you went along. Since they were filming, you considered them to be working so you only agreed if Ian and his girlfriend could come along so you could still have someone else with you.

Well that was the plan anyways.

Within an hour of being there, Ian and her left the group to go off on their own, which essentially left you alone. Today had started feeling slightly… off. You were just easily upset and bitter for no reason and you knew there was no reason to feel like that. Technically, everything was okay with you. But now being ditched and left to follow around the group was starting to get on your nerves.

Maybe things would have gotten better if you had been able to spend more time with James during the day or been able to go on the rides with your boyfriend, but seeing as they didnt bring anyone else to film for them, you were stuck sitting alone while they sat together and had you film them when they needed wider shots. It wasnt exactly how you had planned on this day going, but there wasnt a whole lot of options left.

Not only did you end up filming for them, but you also turned into their photographer when they ran into fans. After asking them for a picture, they just handed you the phone and had you do it. Not even a “do you mind?” or a “thank you” after you finished but it was fine. Its okay. Its not that deep and you knew you needed to get over yourself.

When a few girls had come up to ask for a photo, you were handed two seperate phones. ‘Cant they just send the picture to each other?’ you thought to yourself before taking the pictures anyways. After, you saw one of the girls trying to take a picture of you without you noticing but you saw anyways. The group had already started walking away when you went up to the girl.

“Hi, excuse me, do you mind not posting the picture you took of me?” You tapped her arm to get her attention.

“Y/N-” Ethan noticed you were gone and that you were talking to the girl looking slightly upset.

“Are you serious? I have a right to some privacy here and I dont want photos of me out there all I’m asking is that you dont post the fucking picture okay!” Why wouldnt she just say she wouldnt post it? What was so hard about that? You were already having a shitty day and this girl was just adding fuel to the fire going on inside you.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry about that, you two have a nice day,” You felt Ethans hand grab your arm and pull you away from them.

“Babe, you can’t talk to them like that, okay?” He said to you while still holding onto you and going back to the group.

“Get your fucking hands off of me!” You shook off his hand and started walking away. You had expected your boyfriend to tell them not to post it, but instead he told you something instead. Unbelievable. You had gone off to one of the close by benches and took a seat before taking out your phone.

Ethan had tried to go follow you, but James stopped him when he saw you taking out your phone and holding it up to your ear. “Give her a minute E. What even happened?”

“I dont even know, I turned back to see her yelling at those girls over a picture and I didn’t want to start any drama so I pulled away and here we are,” he sighed and looked around.

“Ethan, what did she tell them? Word for word?” Now James looked concerned and it was worrying him.

“Just something about a photo of her and privacy and ‘not to fucking post it’,”

“Did they say they wouldnt post it?”

“James why does that matter?”

“DID THEY OR NOT ETHAN?” James was yelling now. He had heard Ethan calling your name while you were still with those girls, and he now knew why you were so pissed if those girls now had your name and photo of you. Sure all of them had taken a few photos with or of you, but they were usually all from behind, maybe the side of your face and they made sure not to have your name out there. If there was a photo of you all together, you usually had your face hidden or you slapped a sticker emoji on top. You didnt want anyone from your past being able to recognize you.

“I dont know, okay?” Ethan knew you didnt let them post pictures of you, but he didnt think it was that big of a deal. So one person has a picture and if it gets posted, then maybe a few people see it after it gets lost in the tags.

During all of this, Grayson had decided that this conversation was not something he wanted to be part of and left to grab a churro for you when you came back, knowing you had a thing for sugar. While he passed by you, he overheard part of your conversation with whoever you were on the phone from. Apparently you were talking to some guy named Josh about how bad your day had been going. He knew you could be friends with whoever you wanted, but something seemed off. He decided to leave it alone for now. He also felt his phone go off and saw that James had tweeted.

“If you took a picture with us today and took a picture of my friend without her permission, PLEASE DO NOT POST IT. RESPECT HER PRIVACY.”

You went back to the group and everyone noticed that your mascara had smudged a bit but decided against saying anything. Pulling you off to the side, James took out the beauty blender he had in his bag and got to fixing you back up while talking to you in a hushed voice.

Ethan felt horrible. You had all come out today to have a nice day together but that didnt seem to be happening at all. Not only did he manage to piss you off, but once he was that you had been crying it crushed him. He was supposed to be making you feel good and happy but he wasnt doing a good job it seemed.

“Hey Y/N, I got you something,” Grayson handed you the churro, which seemed to be missing a few bites that your raised your eyes at but accepted nonetheless.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him and took it. “I’m actually gonna go ahead and go find Ian. I called him and he’s going to let me third wheel with him, so I’ll meet up with you guys when were leaving.”

You gave Gray a quick hug, not noticing him looking at you strangely. When did you call Ian? You had been talking to some guy named Josh a few minutes ago? He decided to leave it alone and would talk to you about it later, not wanting to start anything if it was over nothing. But why would you lie about who you called?

“Sweetheart, you dont have to go, stay with us.” Ethan wrapped his arms around you, not wanting you to leave.

“Hey, its okay. You guys are technically working, so I'm just gonna let you finish. I’m sorry for how I talked to that girl we can talk about it later, okay? You guys just have fun,” You gave him a quick peck on the lips and said bye to everyone before walking off to find Ian.

Sure you had planned on spending the day with your boyfriend, but turns out third wheeling wasnt so bad. It meant more turning power for the spinning teacups with all three of you. You all crammed yourself into the carriage for the haunted mansion, and you all obnoxiously sang along to ‘its all small world’ much to the rest of the passengers dismay. You had to sit alone for most of the other rides, but it was okay because you knew once you all got off, it would be like you were all friends just together. There were no phones being handed to you for pictures, no camera to hold to get a wider angle and you were finally having a good time.

When you finally met up with everyone else around 10 o'clock to head out, they were surprised when they saw the three of you. You all had gotten matching mouse ear headbands, Ian included, and you were carrying five of those giant light up balloons that had the mickey outline in them.

“Babe, what's with all the balloons?” Ethan finally asked after you said hi to everyone and they just stared at the giant bouquet of balloons.

“Well one is mine, then I got one for Gray since he got me a churro earlier, then I figured I should get you one too, but then I didnt want to leave Emma or James out so here we are. Five balloons. And Ian and his girlfriend already have theirs.” You said with a smile and held out your hand that held all the strings.

“Pick a different one bitch that ones mine,” you pulled them away when James tried to take the color you wanted. “Plus Grayson gets to pick first since he gave me food.” You held it out and let him pick.

“You're not gonna let your boyfriend pick first?” Ethan looked at you with a pout.

“Mmm… nope.” You said, but you went and put one arm around him.

“Traitor,” he muttered under his breath as he pulled you closer to his side. After everyone had their own balloon, you finally all headed towards the gates. The day might not have started off great, but it got better and that was something you were happy about.

“So, are we good?” Ethan asked you quietly as you walked by his side.

“Hm? Oh, sure but I still wanna talk about it if thats okay?”

“Of course, at the house or in the car?”

“Well everyone is still coming with us in the car so…” as much as you wanted to talk about it, you didnt want everyone else listening in.

“Hey James!” Ethan yelled at James since you two were in the back of the group.

“What bitch?” He turned around to see what he wanted.

“Can Gray and Emma ride with you?”

“Oh no sweetie, you think I want four other people and five giant balloons in my car? You take them,” he sassed back.

“I'll take the balloons with us, just take them with you.” After a moment of thinking James replied with a harsh “fine” and it was settled.

After taking everyones balloons back with you, it turns out trying to shove seven of those balloons in the jeep was a lot harder than either of you thought it would be and it was probably a safety hazard to drive since you couldnt see out of any of the back windows. Once everything was as good as it was going to get, you headed back towards James house.

“So what happened today?” You had barely made it to the first light when he asked.

“Damn we’re getting right into it, okay than… how honest do you want me to be with you?” You took in a breath and slowly let it out.

“One hundred percent babe,” he reached over and took your hand in his.

“Okay, want me to be real or sugar coat it for you?”

“Um, real?” He sounded as if he didnt know which would be better to hear.

“Fine. I didnt want to come today with you guys when James first asked. Like at all. Today was just a shitty day and I dont know why, but I woke up and everything just felt off. But then he invited Ian and Loren along so I still had someone to talk to while you guys filmed, but then they ditched us,” you turned in your seat to face him a little bit more. “I knew that today wasn't going to be a ‘hey lets just all fun at disneyland’ kind of day since you were all filming and working, but it would have been nice to have some fun with you while we were there,” you started messing with your joined hands and playing with his fingers as you spoke.

“Ethan, I came with you guys as a friend, not your camera person or your guy's personal photographer. Do you realize that the most you paid attention to me was when you got mad at me for how I talked to that girl? Not once did we go on a ride together. Hell, one time I didnt even go on one since the cart was full but you guys decided to get that one anyways and made me wait for the next one and you all didnt even care and that was pissing me off. I didnt come to be ignored by my friends, and I get it, you're working but you could have been with me when the camera wasnt on but you didn't. I tried to talk to you a few times but you kept ignoring me,” you said that last part quietly, getting reminded of your last relationship and how that went.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you and my friends today as I tried to make the best out of a shitty day, but that didnt happen. Everything just became too much for me and I snapped. So I figured I might as well third wheel because it was better than trying to fifth wheel with you guys.” You finished and waited for him to say something.

The silence was killing you as you watched him drive. He still hadnt said a word and he pulled into a parking lot and parked the car.

“What are we-” He turned to face you as you started speaking.

“Baby, I am so sorry. I wish you told me something earlier, and if you tried to, I'm sorry that I wasnt listening. We never meant to make you feel left out,” He turned in his seat and was faced you, taking both of your hand in this much larger ones. “And sweetheart I am so sorry that I grabbed you the way I did,” he looked genuinely upset with himself for grabbing you earlier.

“It's okay-”

“No, its not Y/N. I shouldnt have grabbed you like that ever. Thats not how you treat someone you care about it.” He noticed a few tears slip down your face when you looked away so he gently turned your face back to him and he wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs.

“Sorry that I'm crying so much today,” you tried to laugh it off.

“Babe, you cry if you want to, but let me in please? Whats going on in that head of yours?”

“It's just a lot of stuff from before I moved here, the way I was living before wasnt good and something I like thinking about too much… can we not talk about it right now? Maybe when we get to the house because if I’m going to do tell you, I’d rather not do it in a Target parking lot surrounded by light up balloons.” You laughed a little to try to lighten to situation a little bit.

“Of course sweetheart,” he grabbed your hand and gently brought it up to his face and placed a kiss on the back of your hand before letting go and starting the drive back to James’s house.

“Took you two long enough, bitch ass,” James greeted you as soon as you walked in.

“Fuck off, we literally saw you guys at the light before us,” you sassed back at him. On a more serious note, you turned back to him and Ian, “I’m gonna go talk to Ethan for a bit okay? I’ll let you know if I need you.”

Both of them nodded, understanding what you were talking about. You had mentioned recently about wanting to tell Ethan everything, having decided on telling your boyfriend first, then Grayson. You knew both of them together would not go well considering how loud they could get and how overwhelmed you would get with both of them trying to talk over each other. Separate would be a lot easier.

“You can go home if you want Gray, I’ll just stay here tonight,” Ethan tossed Grayson the keys.

“Actually, I think it would be better if you stayed, for a little bit anyways.” Both of the boys looked at you confused. Pulling Ethan down a little bit, you whispered to him, “I just dont know if you’re going to want to stay after I tell you everything.” He looked at you now completely worried but nodded anyways.

“OH! We should play Mario Kart for a bit!” Emma yelled out, already heading towards the living room. Well, that was one way to get everyone to stay for a little bit. Turning back to him, you grabbed Ethan’s hand and lead him up the stairs to your room and shut the door behind you. Both of you sat on the bed in silence.

“You’re kind of worrying me here, Y/N” He looked at you to see you folding a blanket over your legs that were crossed under you. You had also taken a pillow to play with in your lap.

“Sorry, I dont mean to. If I’m going to tell you everything, will you promise me something?” You looked up at him and when he nodded, you continued on. “Let me finish talking before you start asking questions? I’ll answer whatever, but just- I need to get it all out first, okay?” He nodded again.

“Okay,” you sighed and mentally prepared yourself, “okay, so theres no way to ease into it so here we go. I’m an alcoholic. Was an alcoholic. Whatever you wanna see it as, but I had a really bad drinking problem before moving here. It’s one of the reasons I moved here with James. I needed to get away from everyone judging me back home.” You looked at him and saw him trying to hide how shocked he was but you saw it anyways.

“When James moved out here, I ended up alone. He was pretty much my only friend, which was weird considering I’m older than him, but when he left, I didn’t really have anyone else. A few months later, I ended up dating this guy, who had a bunch of friends and along the way, they became my friends. One night, he took me to a party and there was so much there. Beer, wine, shots, whatever, it was there. And sure I had had a drink before that, but nothing too much. Never enough to even get me drunk or tipsy. But there, as stupid as it sounds, everyone was doing it so I figured why not and started doing shots with the other girls. I woke up the next day feeling awful but later that night we went to another party, and this time I only had a few but-” you took a deep breath, still looking down at your lap. “But, that didnt last long. It just became a cycle for us. School, party, school, party, then somewhere along the way it became drinking just at home, in the school parking lot, and I was drinking whenever. I didnt need the parties anymore, but I still went and oh god, there’s still a lot that I have no idea what happened.” You felt him shift on the bed. You couldnt tell if it was closer or away from you and you were scared it was the latter.

“It got to the point where I would have blackouts. I had no idea what happened the night before but my friends usually had some videos. I don’t know who else has any, but the ones I saw- its me doing shot after shot, me dancing way too inappropriately for a public setting, me stripping in front of everyone, theres photos of me in bed with my ex and theres still so much I dont know. What used to be me counting the days between drinks turned into me not remembering the last time I hadn’t had a drink.”

“I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend for different reasons but once I did that, I lost my drinking source. I was only 20, I couldn’t exactly go get any on my own so I,” deep breaths remember, “I would still go to bars if I could get in and I would let whoever buy me a drink- drinks and sometimes that was enough. Along the way word got out to the guys I knew that I was an “easy lay” if you bought me enough drinks, which to be completely honest, wasn’t a complete lie. I didn’t really care how I got my drinks as long as I got them. A few of those guys also had pictures, some are pretty bad, some are just us making out, but theyre out there. And when I turned 21, let me tell you, things got so much worse. One day, I had been drinking at home while my parents were gone and I passed out.” Playing with the pillow seemed to be most interesting thing while you could feel Ethan’s eyes burning into your head.

“I woke up in the hospital. Alcohol poisoning. It wasn’t until I saw the look on my parents faces that I realized how messed up I was. Seeing them look at me with just pure… disappointment, disgust, shame, pity, worry, it made me realize that I couldn’t be doing that anymore. I could have died and I didn’t want to keep wasting my life like that anymore.”

“The detox was absolute hell. Withdrawal was… awful. I was throwing up, shaking, I couldn’t sleep, my head was constantly pounding, and I’m not going to lie to you, I would relapse. Drinking would make all of that go away, but coming back from it was harder each time so I got into rehab. It was the only way to completely keep me away from it so I could get better. I was there for three months and at first it was horrible. Withdrawal came back harder than before and there was nothing I could do to make it go away but once I got past that, it got easier.” You glanced up for a second but you couldn’t make out the expression on his face.

“I started learning piano since they had one there. It was something to distract myself with. I called James to let him know what happened and that, that, didnt go well. He didn’t talk to me for a while, which I get. He was worried I had been around Ian while I was like that so I don’t blame him. He never knew about anything that went on back home since he never came back to visit. I dont blame him or anyone else for this, I know it’s all my doing. No one ever forced me to drink or do anything, it was all my own choices.”

“Once I got out, it was hard. I was going to meetings. I’m still going to meetings here. One day at a time ya know? But over there, everyone remembered me as I was before. I was just the party girl who drank too much and slept with who ever. No guy would be want to be seen with the girl that had been with everyone. Then someone posted pictures and it got worse. I deleted all my social media so I couldn’t get tagged in anything. I dont check anything because I dont want to see if anyone has posted anything. Even going to the store people would look at me and judge me because everyone apparently knew what happened. So when I was talking to James one day, he asked if I wanted to move out here with him. Ian had told him how hard being home was for me and while I was pissed because I didnt want him pitying me or dealing with the mess I made for myself but after some talking we decided I was coming here.” You looked around your room, proud of how far you had come from where you used to be.

“A few weeks later I was finally here, I took care of what I needed to to be sure I would stay on track and then I was officially moving in and then-” You finally looked up at Ethan and reached out for his hand, “then I met you and Grayson and Emma and things kept getting better and well… that’s where were at now. So there it is. I get it if you don’t want to be around me anymore. It wouldnt be good if one day those videos came back up and you were still connected to me and I dont want you getting dragged into my mess. So if you want to go, it’s okay.” You smiled at him even though you were close to tears. If he did leave, you would be a mess but you knew you would get through it eventually. You didnt want to drag him or his brother down with you because of your decisions so it was easier to let them both go now before things got more serious than they already were.

You felt his hand leave yours and you looked up to see him looking at you with a look you couldnt explain. When he got up from your bed and started walking towards the door, you felt your heart breaking. When he walked out, you could hear him going down the stairs and a few minutes later you heard the front door close and a car start up and you could actually feel your heart shatter. Turns out James was wrong about him staying.

Tags: @thetallassgirl @notanotherdolantwinsblog

#dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fic #dolan twins fanfic #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #ethan dolan imagine #fic #mine #clean #grayson dolan fic

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