your panties scare me, can i take them off?
pov. you got new halloween panties/pajamas and he’s about to lose his mind.
content: implied smut, breath play (toji), virgin!choso, sexual content (MDI), husband!nanami, breeding kink (nanami), roommate!gojo, afab!reader
incl pairings: choso, nanami, gojo, toji
word count. 2.1k
soundtrack 💿🌧️: sex on sight ft. usher
Choso.
"Mmh..."
You lay on the bed, entangled in burly arms and the scent of aftershave. Your boyfriend is attacking you in sloppy kisses, all down your neck and jaw, as screams beam out of the TV from the horror movie you'd stopped watching about ten minutes ago.
His hand roams dangerously over your side while your nails dig into his back for stability. The two of you have yet to take things as far as penetration, so it’s all you can do to fight back the urge to whip his cock out and plop down on it.
You wonder if tonight things are going to finally change, as you feel your panties grow damper, and Choso's cock digging into your stomach through his sweats.
"Why do we always do this?" Choso breathes. “We start a movie we can't even finish."
You laugh against him before it melts into a moan at the reminder of his wet lips. "Because I don’t like scary movies, Cho. ‘M so afraid.”
Choso grunts against your skin, "Really? How can i make you feel better?”
You huff and roll onto your back. Choso doesn't waste any time climbing over you, propping himself up on his elbows.
"You can start by taking my shorts off,” you instruct, eyes filled with lust as you stare up at your ebony-haired partner.
He pauses his kisses to look down at you in surprise. "Y-You want to...?"
"Yes," you nod, biting your lip. “Don’t y’wanna comfort me from the scary monsters on the TV?”
Choso nods eagerly, and his big hands come up to your waistband to begin pulling down your shorts. As the material slides over your thighs, he pauses and stares with furrowed brows, right at your underwear.
"Um, baby?" he cocks his head to the side. "Who is... V.S.?"
You let out an exasperated breath before smiling. "That stands for Victoria's Secret, Cho. It's a lingerie brand."
His eyes bulge and he looks back up at you, "Lingerie?"
He continues to slide the shorts all the way off, to reveal your blood red thong with a tiny white ghost on the front. You suspect the ghost is supposed to look like a glob of cum, and you imagine Choso’s in its place.
"Oh fuck," he breathes, "you wore these f'me?"
"Who else, Cho?" you run your hands over your stomach seductively, patting the top of the thong. "You like?”
Choso's eyes flash white, and he hooks his fingers over the skinny string that keeps the thong around your waist.
"Shit, I..." he swallows thickly. "Love them. You have more like this?”
You nod confidently. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you see them one at a time.”
You wink and Choso’s nervous hands remain entangled in the strings of your thong. “What if I can’t please you?”
"Not possible," you shake your head, running your hands into his hair, grateful he’d taken it out of its pigtails for his shower. "I nearly cum every time we make out."
His eyes widen. "Oh, so it's not just me," he breathes out in relief.
You giggle and spread your legs a little more, your lips threatening to pop right out of the terribly small pair of panties.
A girl shrieks on the TV and there is the sound of a slashing knife.
You fake a shiver, "Oh, Cho! I'm so afraid. Mmh, hurry and make me feel better.”
Choso smirks and rips down your panties, knowing that the neighbors are going to think someone is really being murdered by the time he’s done with you.
Nanami.
"Excuse me, my love."
You turn in place to see your husband, standing in the doorframe of the bathroom as you brush your teeth.
"Hmph, yes?" you mumble around your toothbrush, your face heating in the same way it always does when you see him, no matter how long you’ve been together.
Nanami stands awkwardly in the doorframe, shifting his weight like a nervous child. He's in his own version of pajamas: a white shirt, plaid pants, and house shoes. His hand raises and he points to your legs.
"When did you acquire those?" he asks delicately, referring to the tiny orange shorts you have on that are patterned in bats.
"The shorts?" you mumble, before removing your toothbrush and spitting out the toothpaste. "Um, I got them yesterday while costume shopping with the kids. Why?"
Nanami laces his fingers together. "I just thought I'd seen all of your clothes, because you always try them on for me. You didn't..." he inhales a ragged breath. "You didn't show me these. Is there a reason?"
You nearly feel your heart shatter through your ribcage. Nanami clearly looks distraught that you failed to give him a fashion show. At the same time, you notice his pajama pants growing a friendly tent in them, and you suspect you know the real reason he is upset.
"I... wanted it to be a surprise, Ken," you say, pat drying your mouth on a washcloth, before walking towards him, all minty and shower fresh.
"A surprise?" Nanami questions, visibly getting tense as you approach.
"Mhmm..." you tiptoe your fingers up his arm and over his shoulder. "You like them?"
"That's a very loaded question," Nanami mutters. "I like anything you wear."
"But these seem to be having a different effect on you, honey," you coo, tilting your head to the side, resting your hand on the back of his neck - his sweet spot.
You watch his Adam's apple bob.
"Yes," he whispers, his hands coming up to rest on your hips. "They’re really… small. And we, you know, can’t do things as often anymore with the baby… I just miss you.”
You sigh, relaxing under his touch. “Right. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
Nanami lets out a feral noise. "No, I’m not. I feel like a horny teenager. Just need you really bad.”
“I haven’t seen you this desperate in a while, honey,” you say, taking a step back, letting your hands fall off of each other. "Go ahead. Take them off.”
Nanami doesn't hesitate. His big hands gently peel down the waistband, and he bites his lip as he examines what’s underneath.
"You're not wearing underwear," he realizes with a breath. “Gonna make me lose myself here, Y/N.”
"Well, I was thinking..." you cock your head to the side. "One more baby wouldn't hurt, would it?"
Nanami's eyes grow a bit larger. “D-don’t say that.”
“Know you’ve been trying so hard not to finish in me,” you coo, “but don’t you miss it?”
“Y/N…” his knuckles go white as he nearly rips the material of your little shorts. “We really shouldn’t.”
"No, but ngh..." you roll your hips under his hands. "Wouldn't it be fun to see how feral we can get?"
"I am already ‘feral’ just looking at these shorts, Y/N." Nanami nearly whines, his eyebrows furrowed in desperation, waiting for you to give him the word.
"Really," you whisper on his neck, planting a kiss there soon after. "That was easier than I thought.”
Nanami sighs against you. "Why are you so good at this, hm, little minx?"
You smile against his skin, "Why are my shorts still on, Kento?"
Nanami growls, all guttural and primal instinct, and your back is crashing against the counter in an instant.
You bite your lip, "Eager?” you question.
"You have no idea." He hums as he slides down the orange garment, staring at them. "Did you buy any more?”
"Maybe," you say quietly, blinking as you try to picture what he's going to do to you next.
"Good," he parts your legs and stands between them before using his thick hands to open your mouth and shove the shorts right inside of it. “We’ll need these so we don’t wake the baby.”
Gojo.
"You wanna be me so fucking bad!"
You spin slowly in place, holding a piece of popcorn only halfway to your mouth. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Your eyes land on your roommate's bottoms, a plush pair of Friday-the-13th pajama pants. They are exactly like the boy shorts you’re wearing, the ones that have ridden up and cover basically nothing.
"If you wanted to match, you could've just said that," Gojo huffs, crossing his arms.
You raise your eyebrow, "I’ve had these for a long time. You're the one who wants to be like me."
Gojo scoffs. "Why haven’t I ever seen them, then?" He shoves his hands in his pockets. “And au contraire, madamoiselle, I want to be in you. Huuuge difference there.”
You cough a bit, choking on nothing, unable to respond.
"Of course, choking on my cock could definitely work too," Gojo mutters, examining his nails. "Maybe teach you a lesson about walking around in just your panties."
You roll your eyes, but it’s hard to deny the fluttery feeling in your stomach just from his words. "Please, like I've never done this before."
"And every time you have, you end up bent over, begging for me to take it easier, don't you?" He cocks his head to the side and lets his eyes slither down your body like a snake of temptation.
You bite your lip. "So it’s my fault that you have no self control?”
Gojo nods his head. "Yes, maybe I just wanted to have a nice, relaxing Halloween game night with you... but now you've got me so worked up."
You tap your chin. "You wanted to spend time with me that doesn't involve sex? Seems a little out of character, don't you think?"
Gojo stalks towards you, long feathery strides until he's towering over your frame, eyes threatening to sear your clothes right off of you.
"Oh, you can't get any denser, can you?" he questions. "This sick little arrangement we have, teasing each other and fucking on every surface in the house isn't what I want." He pauses. "I mean, yes, but it's more than that."
You blink up at him. "What else could you possibly want?"
Gojo sighs, and slowly wraps his arms around you in a cinnamon-scented bear hug. "I want to contact you about your car's extended warranty."
"SATORU!" you screech, hitting him on the chest as he bursts into laughter.
"I'm joking, you know that I can't take shit seriously," he runs his fingers through his hair. “For fuck sake, I want a relationship with you, okay? Do I need to spell it out on the lawn?"
"Yes, actually," you tease, sitting your popcorn bucket down and running your buttery hands over his chest. "You want to be with me?"
"Your pussy's too good to let anyone else have you," he hums, leaning forward and kissing your neck.
"You're so annoying," you grit, but you can't help but melt into his touch and kisses.
He chuckles against you but doesn’t respond.
Gojo pulls his head out of your neck and leans towards you, lips parted in expectancy.
Your eyes flutter closed just as your mouths collide, this kiss feeling different than the hundreds that had come before it. You lean into him and grab the drawstring of his pajamas, while his fingers are also subconsciously twisting into your boy shorts.
"Mmh, can't get enough of you," Gojo mumbles against your mouth.
You giggle. "Good thing I'm yours now. There's plenty of time to reach all of me."
He breaks away from you and stares down in astonishment. "Really?"
You nod, tugging him closer by his pants. "So, about that game night..."
"Eh, it can wait, we have some celebrating to do." He grins, and before you know it you're being lifted swiftly into the air, hauled over his shoulder with your ass next to his face, as he pops a crack on the soft skin there. "And don't you ever wear these without warning me again."
Toji.
“Why are you hovering? I said sit.”
Your boyfriend is obsessed with you sitting on his face, suffocating him with your cunt and juices, this is nothing new. But this time, he wants to try something a bit more deranged.
You’d just been trying to show him your new panties and matching socks, honest. You may have also been wearing one of his shirts, and this was absolutely his weakness, and you absolutely knew that.
“My shirt, baby?” he’d cooed, pulling you into a hug and planting soft kisses on your face. “New panties too? You spoil me.”
It wouldn’t be long before he was lifting you up, effortlessly, carrying you to the bed and laying down on it. Then, before you had the chance to squirm or run, he was gripping your sides and lifting you over his face, where you caught your weight with your knees.
“Toji, they’re still on,” you mumble, his hands gliding up your sides to hike up his shirt. He stares directly between your legs which causes your clit to twitch.
“So?” he questions from below.
Thick hands mash into the crease of your hips, forcing your weight to fall down on his wide nose and full lips.
Your face turns the color of beets, but you ultimately have no time to be embarrassed as Toji locks his arms around your thighs.
His eyes have fluttered closed, and you can feel his shuddering breath through the cloth as he takes in your scent.
Your hands are on the headboard for stability, looking down at him, feeling your panties grow damper as he wiggles his face around, nose brushing your clit.
“Toji approved,” he says suddenly, before you feel his fat, warm tongue slide along the material of the panties, and your body lurches.
“Wh-What…?”
“I can still eat you through your panties,” he huffs, eyes popping open and catching you staring down at him. “This was the plan all along, puss.”
Your thighs shudder on either side of his head. “You’re not serious.”
“As a heart attack, baby,” he mumbles, before flicking his tongue over the cloth again, nose massaging your clit, hands burying deeper into your skin. It’s all so much, you moan and rotate your hips over him.
“Wh-what made you want to try this?” you ask, biting your lip as he tugs on the material with his teeth, taking in another animalistic sniff.
“You looked so proud to show them off,” Toji grunts. “It’s a shame that they were only going to end up on the floor, huh?”
You have to agree. You’d stopped buying lingerie long ago because it would never last more than a few seconds around Toji, but you figured a new pair of panties couldn’t hurt. You just hadn’t expected this reaction out of him.
Besides, you can’t deny how good it feels to dry hump his face, there only being a thin barrier between your folds and his wet tongue, making it all the more a tease.
From then on, it became a regular tradition for Toji to “approve” your new holiday panties - but of course, the halloween ones remained his favorite.
A/N:
im sorry for pumping out these shitty short ones but im just trying to keep yall fed while we wait for the long ones ^.^
~pennjammin
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We had one of Steff's comedian friends staying with us on the weekend, lovely lad called Sam from Singapore. He had never been to Wales before, and he requested that we take him to a Welsh restaurant so he could try Welsh food
That's surprisingly difficult, actually. Like a lot of Welsh culture, our culinary traditions have not exactly been applauded over the years, so you don't really see them. But a lucky Google search revealed a brand new one has just opened in SA1 called the Welsh House, so great! Away we went.
Fuck me, they went all in.
It wasn't just the menu (though fuck me, what a menu - one of their 'for the table to share' options was little mini leek and cheddar Welsh cakes with salted butter and they were paralysingly good). It wasn't just that every alcohol was Welsh, even including the wine (surprisingly good btw, called 'Naturiol'.)
The table centerpieces were daffodils. All signs for the toilets were Welsh only. The walls had photos of Wales, modern and historical; the windows had the fleur de lis; the specials board (pork belly in Welsh cider and damson sauce with honey and wild garlic glazed carrots) had dragons on. I realise this is probably normal for country-themed restaurants, but I've never been to one for Wales before.
But the best bit, see, was the music
I clocked, when we walked in, that they were playing If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next by the Manic Street Preachers (you always clock the Manics). Ah, I thought. A Welsh song! In a Welsh restaurant! Ho ho ho.
As they seated us, it became What's New Pussycat. Ah! I thought. Another Welsh song! Fu fu fu.
Then they played Monster by the Automatic and I was like my god are they only playing Welsh music?? That's so cool! What an eclectic mix that's going to be. We should suggest to them they should look into Welsh language music too, really mix it up.
And then they played Anrheoli by Yws Gwynedd and lads, Steff and I lost our shit. We lost our fucking shit. Sam's sitting there, utterly bewildered. The staff are nervously edging away from us. We don't care. It's the first time I have ever heard a Welsh language song played outside of a Welsh language setting. We're so excited.
"They're playing Welsh music!!!" says Steff. "Holy shit!!!"
"Imagine if they played Sebona Fi!" I say, humorously.
"Nah," says Steff. "You can't in a restaurant. There'd be a riot, it's faerie music."
"...what?" says Sam
We explain the cultural phenomenon that is Sebona Fi. The song changes: Primadonna Girl, by Marina and the Diamonds.
"She's Welsh??" says Sam.
"She's from Abergavenny!" we beam.
"I don't know what that means," nods Sam, who is from Singapore.
Next: The Bartender and the Thief, by the Stereophonics. We're in high spirits. The extraordinarily Welsh wine arrives, as does the rarebit on sourdough starter. Sam, a gay man, delightedly orders the faggots and peas.
They play Ben Rhys by Gwilym Bowen Rhys, and we lose our shit again. Sam is now used to this, because comedians are adaptable. "They even have daffodils!" I say, misty eyed. "Is that relevant?" Sam asks, fascinated.
They play Hiraeth, by PLU. Hard to explain that one. Very hard to explain the effect it has when it's played in a restaurant, but Sam looks around the suddenly muted room and whispers "Are we in church?"
"It's about Hiraeth," whispers Steff. "So kind of."
Next: the Masses Against the Classes, by the Manics. Utter tonal whiplash. This playlist is not remotely restaurant appropriate. It's perfect.
"You'd think they'd pick like... a genre," Sam says dreamily. "We just went from church to the barricades."
The faggots arrive. "I forgot it would be a western sized portion," Sam says morosely, of what to me is a normal sized plate of food. He tries one, and brightens.
They play Sebona Fi.
The place erupts.
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fresh out the slammer [guilty as sin part five] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x sainz!reader
no court cases, no ferrari PR jail... i'm sure nothing will happen, right?
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
f1
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,289,405 others
tagged: olliebearman, francocolapinto & pepemarti
f1: THERE IT IS!!! The 2025 grid is set with Ollie Bearman at Haas, Franco Colapinto at Williams and Pepe Marti at Sauber.
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user317: HOLY SHIT
user318: i hate to celebrate someone losing their job in this economy but FUCK THAT MAN WOO HOO WELCOME TO UNEMPLOYMENT CARLOS SAINZ
olliebearman: can't wait to get started (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
user319: when are you going to recruit pepe and kimi to the leclerc family agenda
pepemarti: y/n has been my celeb crush since i was like 13 (sorry charles) so trust me idc about the spanish guy
olliebearman: he fully doesn't play about y/n, he even tries to read poetry (key word being tries)
pepemarti: you can shame me all you like but i think y/n would appreciate the effort
yourusername: you would be correct !
pepemarti: OMG ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-
charles_leclerc: i'll take you in if you promise you're over your crush on y/n, it would be very inappropriate
pepemarti: I AM I SWEAR
user320: i know carlos gotta be sick seeing the spanish youngster freak out more about his sister
yourusername: i fear he has bigger fish to fry right now
user321: @carlossainz55 BOO! did i scare you? i'm a job application
user322: being on the internet as a sainz fan gotta be torture at this point
user323: former delusional carlando fan here! he brought this upon himself lol
maxverstappen1: evil may be conquered but these three and kimi look like prime candidates to join the united front of hating
yourusername: we gotta get them started while they're young
charles_leclerc: i fear we don't have enough room in the house for all these kids
francocolapinto: do we really need the aussie?
oscarpiastri: i was here before you ???
yourusername: we can get bunkbeds?
olliebearman: does leo really need him own room
charles_leclerc: WATCH THAT TONE
kimiantonelli: i'm quite small if that helps
yourusername: looks like we have a new favourite
pepemarti: ????????
user324: see? carlos loses his job and suddenly all is good in f1 again... coincidence? i think not.
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,945,209 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, olliebearman & kimiantonelli
yourusername: and the pieces all fall into place ...
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user326: this is a level of motherism we have yet to see in f1
user327: and mother in a literal sense these ones take her up to like five grid kids and one dog
maxverstappen1: don't erase her cat godson and goddaughter
yourusername: leo is almost fully cat trained ( ≧ᗜ≦)
albonpets: do not even think of coming for our brand
yourusername: which one am i talking to?
albonpets: HORSEY
yourusername: ... okay then
charles_leclerc: seriously?
yourusername: i'm not going to fight a (my favourite) albon cat charles, i may have the sainz last name but i'm NOT carlos
charles_leclerc: it'll be leclerc before you know it
yourusername: (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
user328: no because at this point i can fully picture carlos having an argument with a cat
albonpets: we're down to tussle for y/n
user329: i'm dying, carlos lost so bad ALBON PETS ARE SHADING HIM
user330: guys are we ready for monza tho? y/n and charles fully back, the united front of hating back, italy don't play about charles... carlos girl i'd sit this one out it doesn't even matter that you're driving the red car
maxverstappen1: at least it won't be me being booed for once
carlossainz55: i'm not a bitch. if people want to boo me they'll only expose themselves as sheep
oscarpiastri: BAAAA
olliebearman: BAAAA
francocolapinto: BAAAA
kimiantonelli: BAAAA
pepemarti: BAAAA
charles_leclerc: parenthood is so precious
carlossainz55: you think i care that these little runts like you guys? they'll be out the sport faster than your other little pet american
logansargeant: at least i'm pretty
francocolapinto: sorry i can't hear you over my williams seat - you really thought that was gonna be yours huh 🤔
user331: obsessed with how carlos has just resorted to name calling because his only 'ammunition' against y/n is that she always wanted to marry charles and didn't want to work
user332: if that's illegal LOCK ME UP BABY
yourusername: they nearly did 😭
user332: oh yeah my bad g
charles_leclerc
liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 4,398,400 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: fresh out the slammer
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user333: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO
francocolapinto: VAMOSSSSSS
user334: this was actually insanely poetic, ferrari i'm still angry at you but thank you for this genius strategy
user335: today you are excused, tomorrow we go back to hating
user336: the north remembers
yourusername: never in doubt starboy - i love you, you deserve this so much
charles_leclerc: i love you more, this win is for you after everything we've been through
yourusername: you're too sweet - it's all you baby and the win is all yours, my prize is being. yours
charles_leclerc: so glad we could have all of our REAL family around us today
yourusername: i love you all ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
oscarpiastri: i guess if there's anyone to lose to here, it would be my grid dad
francocolapinto: if you don't want the P2 i'll gladly take it off of your hands
yourusername: okay babies let's calm down and celebrate that we ALL scored points today
olliebearman: thanks mum and dad
pepemarti: did you guys see my F2 podium (๑>◡<๑)?
charles_leclerc: we did!
yourusername: well done pepe :3
pepemarti: hehehehehehheheheheehehehe
maxverstappen1: oh boy got out of ferrari jail and now we're ALL being subjected to the conjugal visits
charles_leclerc: stay outta my business
maxverstappen1: BROTHER 4 MILLION PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS
yourusername: and four million people know my man is off limits
yourusername: @carlossainz55 stop paying instagram models to flirt with my man
charles_leclerc: @carlossainz55 what money are you using for this i had to close my DMs
user337: HE'S PAYING INSTAGRAM MODELS TO TRY AND FLIRT WITH CHARLES THE VERY GUY WHO HAD HIS CHILDHOOD RIVAL DELIVER LOVE LETTERS WHEN HIS PHONE WAS TAKEN ???
oscarpiastri: we never said carlos was smart
f1tea
liked by user339, user340 and 11,943 others
f1tea: the ramifications of the sainz civil war may be a lot worse than previously feared. carlos sainz does not have a seat for the 2025 f1 season and doesn't look like he'll be chosen for a reserve role either with bridges with red bull firmly burnt. however, one of the biggest effects of this 'war' has been on those who still choose to associate with carlos. it's been reported that mclaren have had to turn down a number of sponsors after they asked that it is only run on oscar's car and that lando norris is not seen with the brand. do you think we'll see lando jump ship from carlos or will mclaren become a safehaven for sainz?
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user341: mclaren? a safe haven for carlos sainz? the same mclaren that houses the first child of y/n and charles? i'd like to see them try
user342: finally the carlando PR spin is dead
user343: they way they both thought that was their ultimate get out of jail free card and now it's like incriminating
user344: isn't this all getting a little petty now? like y/n and charles are together and carlos doesn't have a seat? what's the point of keeping all of this drama going?
user345: tbf this 'drama' was never going away the moment they exposed themselves for trying to use their daughter/sister as bait to further carlos' career
user346: if that wasn't downright criminal then unlawfully suing your daughter/sister for everything she rightfully earnt WAS
user347: yeah just because 55 fans and the sainzs themselves want to bury that loss doesn't mean it's not like one of the first things that come up when. you google carlos - of course sponsors are not gonna want ANYTHING to do with that
user348: poor lando getting caught in the petty crossfire
user349: i mean he was shit slinging at y/n after austria and that girl has levels of voodoo only taylor swift can better
user350: he's also a grown man who has seen this all go down behind the scenes so he's made his bed and has to lie in it
user351: the way the sponsors are just piling up for charles as well karma really is doing a number right now
user352: his charm is so universal that oscar is becoming one of the most marketable drivers as well
user353: no but as someone who was on the ground at monza, it's BAD like people were wearing their sainz merch with the 55 or spanish flag covered up
user354: oh he got them acting like middle aged football fans it's BAD
user355: at least they haven't started burning stuff yet
user356: if he takes out charles i fear it won't take long
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,452,097 others
yourusername: my new poetry and letter collection, the alchemy, is out today and you guys already made it a new york times bestseller. my heart is so full! the last couple months made me feel like i would never get to love so thank you for showing me that everything is possible x
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user357: ma'am i am in love with you
user358: get in line buddy
charles_leclerc: i will run all of you over
maxverstappen1: thank you for the dedication, it was a traumatic time for us all
yourusername: you simply could've not read my private letters to my lover?
maxverstappen1: and where's the fun in that?
yourusername: a pigeon wouldn't have done this to me...
maxverstappen1: yeah well a pigeon also hasn't been your best friend for years and doesn't have a couch and cats to comfort you
yourusername: you make a good point
user359: she's really out here making me believe in love
charles_leclerc: the most talented woman in the world, i'm blessed to be on the receiving end of such words
yourusername: writing is so much easier with a muse like you
charles_leclerc: you're making me blush
user360: sure if my boyfriend was a greek god i'd also write good poetry
charles_leclerc: no you couldn't, not like her
yourusername: (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
lewishamilton: congratulations y/n, what an achievement! however, i do think the real achievement here is getting this grid to read a book
georgerussell63: excuse me?
alexalbon: ... you got me but i wanted the tea ☕️
charles_leclerc: APPRECIATE THE POETRY PEOPLE
alexalbon: funny how the letters were back and forth... but none of yours made it to the book
yourusername: ALEX :(
charles_leclerc: i didn't want my sad ramblings to drag down her shine - i thought you would get that seeing how bad you are at golf compared to lily
lilymunhe: oop.
user361: where are the children
yourusername: eating my cake :(
maxverstappen1: they're actually being really cute and are all sat in a circle reading it (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
charles_leclerc: gotta make sure they can read none of us finished school
f1
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 2,309,450 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & carlossainz55
f1: LAST LAP SHUNT! Carlos Sainz takes Max Verstappen out in baku and the two did not mince their words on the radio
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user363: not to be dramatic but that's lowkey attempted murder
user364: at this point carlos is trying to ACTUALLY recreate that list of crimes meme
user365: let's get his ass in JAIL then
oscarpiastri: if i speak i'm in big trouble
carlossainz55: speak it big man - if you wanna act like a big guy back it up
oscarpiastri: okay you are a narcissistic misogynist who can't bear being told no. you are a talented man but without your name you would be nowhere but you lack the selfawareness to be grateful for where you are which is why you don't have a job. you are reckless and dangerous and the very few friends you have will drop you when you no longer serve a purpose in f1
user366: oh shit babe came out swinging
oscarpiastri: i'm hearing a lot of CRICKETS?
oscarpiastri: exactly - pussy.
user367: thank you franco colapinto for bringing back drivers with zero media training
user368: once again i am asking for proximity chat in f1
user369: the sweet souls on twitter would NOT be able to handle it
yourusername: bro tried to assassinate my best friend but i'm the problem
carlossainz55: stop being so dramatic, if anyone was to purposely hurt someone it would be max - look where he came from
yourusername: first of all FUCK YOU
yourusername: second of all, max is stronger than you ever will be, how dare you try and use his childhood against him when you know he's nothing but a gentle soul
yourusername: thirdly, by this logic the reason i'm such a 'gold-digging back-stabbing whore' is because of YOU GUYS
user370: i am absolutely losing it at the fact that carlos is furiously typing these at the fia HQ
user371: i know his PR officer is TIRED
francocolapinto: sorry our uncle got sniped but we did also get points @olliebearman
olliebearman: JUST TO SAY WE WENT TO SEE MAX AND HE IS OKAY BUT YES THANK YOU FOR THE POINTS
yourusername: guys lets keep the inside thoughts inside
francocolapinto: so you're not proud of us (╹ -╹)?
yourusername: I AM, I AM, WE ARE (charles is on the podium he'll tell you later)
francocolapinto: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )
olliebearman: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,387,300 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: i lived bitch
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user372: they're gonna have to do a little more than that to take down the united front of hating
user373: 50g can't stop the grind for these dudes
maxverstappen1: i would call that man a bitch with my last breath
user374: them celebrating the end of carlos' career by doing a mukbang is killing me
user375: when the funeral food be good as fuck you be forgetting who died
carlossainz55: you guys really are so pathetic
maxverstappen1: i didn't try to pimp out my sister, make her homeless then sue her but that might just me be
maxverstappen1: also the data will prove what we all know btw
carlossainz55: that you're reckless just like your daddy?
maxverstappen1: at least i can admit my dad is an asshole and i distanced myself, your dad is just as much a bitch but you gotta parade him around because no one else can bear being around you
carlossainz55: the only bad thing my dad ever did in his life is help bring the spawn of satan into the world
maxverstappen1: whatever, enjoy your race ban bozo
user376: is max suggesting ... it was on purpose
user377: if it was carlos might just be as dumb as they all say because fool was about to get a podium
yourusername: THEY CAN'T GET RID OF US BITCH
maxverstappen1: you're a sick motherfucker if you're enjoying this sainz disasterclass well i only just got out of the medical centre 🤧🤧🤧
charles_leclerc: no but deadass we're sorry you got taken out
maxverstappen1: someone had to be the mercutio to you people's romeo and juliet
maxverstappen1: PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELVES AFTER I'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR YOU
yourusername: we can't leave you with all these kids
charles_leclerc: yeah that's a lot of kids to inherit
user378: christian horner i hate you but you gotta get on your zoom
oscarpiastri: where's my congratulations 🤨
maxverstappen1: @yourusername @charles_leclerc yeah you can keep your kids
charles_leclerc: we're proud of you oscar (don't beat me again)
yourusername: well done oscar (your verbal takedown was particularly impressive as well)
oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭
fin
note: lol i'm back. i was busy with work and then in hospital. but we all love guilty as sin? will get to tagging soon one sec
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