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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

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kacchan, kaacchan, kaachan

— “Your real fucking Kaa-chan is going to fuck your brains out and make sure that you can’t say that stupid fucking nickname to Bakugou without getting hard and remembering what I’m about to do to you, Deku,” you practically snarled into Izuku’s ear as you rut the silicone veined cock between his ready, supple cheeks. “Now, what’s my fucking name?”

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pairing: midoriya izuku x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, mommy kink, dom!reader, sub!izuku, pegging, jealous!reader, degradation, anal fingering, begging, crying, marking and biting, best friends(?) bkdk

word count: 6,520

a/n: I have transcended. im sorry, this is now my favorite fic. im... ohhh mama, I just froth at this idea so much, please if you aren’t so utterly disgusted by mommy kink or bkdk pray you read this. p l e a s e.

kinktober day 13 main kink: pegging | kinktober masterlist

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“I fucking hate them,” you growled, temples throbbing in your anger, fingers clutching your drink. “I’m going to kill Izuku and his stupid fucking Kacchan.”

You met Midoriya Izuku before high school. At the time, you had been a sweating, nervous middle schooler who was applying for Yuuei, who was sitting right next to him during the entrance exam. Despite the way your hands were shaking the entire time you were taking the test, and the way your stomach felt seconds from exiting your abdominal cavity and falling straight onto your lap, you smiled. You kept watching the green-haired boy next you continue to fanboy over the smallest of things.

Through this, you had also met Bakugou Katsuki. You had initially thought the two of them were friends, well with the rather weird nicknames they had for each other, and then the small disgruntled comment on not being able to work together with friends.

After being dismissed to go change out of your school uniforms, you had tapped on the green-haired boy. He was muttering a storm under his breath. He wasn’t much taller than you, and his green eyes were shot wide when you thanked him for making you less nervous. He didn’t say anything back to you, a red blush bright on his face as you wished him luck before racing off.

So on the first day of high school, on the fated orientation day, you had been surprised to see that Midoriya and Bakugou nearly fought. They weren’t friends, you quickly figured out, a small frown on your face as Aizawa-sensei dropped Bakugou from his capture weapon. It didn’t take much for you to become friends with the initially timid, but entirely confident Midoriya Izuku. The two of you were fast friends, and before long after watching countless times where Midoriya and Bakugou would be at each other's throats to only be okay within the next few hours.

It confused you entirely.

Eventually, one day on your way home together one night, you finally asked Midoriya.

Midoriya had frowned, his eyes looking out of the speeding window as he slowly explained his relationship with Bakugou to you. He explained that he and Bakugou were childhood friends, having first met when they were three years old. They had been good friends, best friends if it was possible to have one back then. Then, their quirks appeared, and Bakugou received endless praise and awe — it was a changing point in their relationship since Midoriya explained that he was a rare individual who only manifested his quirk within the last few years. So while Bakugou had never put him down for being quirkless, a single moment happened when they were about six years old, wandering in a gated woods area, and Midoriya went to see if Bakugou — who had fallen from a great height — was okay. From that moment on, something flipped inside Bakugou, and he lashed out. He smiled sadly, admitting without a lick of doubt that Bakugou was a jerk to him, a real asshole.

As if to save Bakugou from an ill opinion from you, Midoriya quickly imputed that Bakugou was still one of the lesser antagonizers he had in middle school and at the end of grade school. Most of his other classmates had been his bigger bullies. Still, because Bakugou was just different to both him and the school as a whole, the few times he antagonized Midoriya, it seemed to wave into ripples that turned into tsunami wave crashes. Midoriya had explained that he had gone too far in a single instance and that it still hurt thinking about it. He would like an apology from Bakugou but didn’t know how or if it would happen. After all, Bakugou hadn’t bullied or antagonized him at all for the last full year.

You had taken it all in, watching the small green-haired boy look both sad and determined as the metro pulled into your station.

“You still want to be friends with him, huh?” you asked, ignoring the people clambering out and in of the vehicle.

Midoriya had looked at you with wide eyes and his teeth bitten, swollen lips pressed into a flat line, his head dropping, “Is it weird that I do?”

Chuckling, you shook your head, moving to leave the metro, “A little, you guys definitely will have to put some work into it, but hey, as long as you know that he’s done you wrong before, I think you deserve to find out if you two can make it work again.”

That had happened at the end of your first month of school.

At the end of your second year of school, you had confessed your feelings to Midoriya Izuku, who thankfully, returned your feelings.

At the end of your third year of school, you had watched with bright eyes and a great smile as your boyfriend hugged his childhood friend Bakugou Katsuki as the graduation streamers and confetti still swirled in the air. You and your entire group of female friends, who for the past two years had been trying to get both boys to confess that they were best friends with each other, seemed to have succeeded. They had obviously been friends by the end of the first year; both boys have gotten to speak on their many different feelings and thoughts at the end of the first year. But it had taken seven girls, two more years, and a late-night discussion between you and Izuku for you to figure out that no matter what happened with his relationship with his Kacchan, he would be at peace with it. He had chased him for so long, for such crazy lengths and obstacles that the moment when they found peace, he had accepted it.

But you knew what would happen if you had gotten the ever so annoying, permanent tsundere of Bakugou Katsuki to admit where the lengths of their friendship were at currently. You had guessed correctly because Izuku was absolutely sobbing as Bakugou hugged him. It could have been an awkward moment between them. The two of them never touched one another unless it was because they were roughhousing, training, or assisting one another in the middle of a fight. But your heart warmed at the sight of your boyfriend, entirely built and tall as he was now, blushing as he still does, scarred fingers and arms holding his Kacchan tight, the happy tears on his face rushing down his cheeks as Bakugou seemed to be blinking up a storm.

You have succeeded.

Best friends, you squealed internally, grabbing the girls and walking away to take some photos together. You had finally gotten them to admit that they were best friends again.

It should have made you happy, and for a while, it did make you glad to know your loving boyfriend was over the moon happy to have this small detail confirmed with him, but two years post-graduation, it was straight up annoying and made you somewhat... livid.

It started when your classmates began to whisper about how strong you were to let Izuku and Bakugou be that close. Then reporters asked about how you felt about the Wonder Duo’s relationship outside of the field. Fans straight up saying that they liked them better than you and Izuku, fans asking if you felt lesser than Ground Zero in Pro Hero Deku’s life. At first, you had always expressed your truths, you didn’t care what others thought because you knew the truth, but they must have been annoying you for so damn long that you were beginning to feel doubtful, just the tad bit anxious.

Izuku had asked if you wanted to go to a bar for a night of some drinking. Well, with the both of you not having work tomorrow, you had agreed. It had been a while since the two of you had been able to do anything. So a night at the bar the two of you frequented a lot was a great start to a long night the two of you were undoubtedly going to have if the lace panties under your skirt had anything to say about it. You thanked the gods of every deity every night for making your boyfriend such a stupid pervert that a single whisper of what you were wearing would have him turning red and stumbling out of the bar to get you home immediately.

Well, that was the plan.

But no, nope, nope, nope, nope.

In the middle of your flirting session with Izuku, who still could not keep up with your quick, slick tongue, his phone had rung. It wasn’t abnormal that it went off, he was an incredibly gifted hero, and with his recent sort of permanent team up with his Kacchan to form a hero duo, they were hot shit.

But it wasn’t a work call.

No, it took two seconds to figure that out because Izuku had placed his phone to his ear, his cheeks pink, and eyes sparkling as he immediately chirped out: “Kacchan! Hi!”

And just like that, your flirtatious mood had been stomped on and stabbed over into one of annoyance.

Your boyfriend was a hero otaku; that was something you knew the very moment you met him when both of you were merely fifteen. From that moment on, when your crush was formed on the excitable, blushing otaku, you knew that should you become his girlfriend, there would only be two people above you.

Midoriya Inko then All Might.

Both of those people were completely understandable.

Inko was the best mother in the world, and as Izuku’s most significant and first support system, you didn’t mind losing out to her. She was a fucking sweetheart, after all.

All Might was a slightly annoying one, but as your boyfriend's mentor and father figure, you understood. Plus, the scrawny man was also a sweetheart who flustered over Izuku almost as much as Inko did.

But, you didn’t and couldn’t believe that Bakugou ‘Kacchan’ fucking Katsuki would be challenging your place as third in the most critical person in Midoriya Izuku’s life. You wouldn’t sit idly by on it.

Taking another long, deep chug of the heavy in alcohol percentage drink in your hand, your anger seemed to be at an all-time high.

Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan.

That stupid fucking nickname seemed to pour like liquid gold from Izuku’s mouth.

Kacchan this, Kacchan that, Kacchan yes, Kacchan no.

You knocked back yet another fucking drink, slamming the glass onto the bar counter, demanding another one as Izuku’s deep stupid voice seemed to turn airy as he laughed at something Bakugou Katsuki said. Bakugou Katsuki, who didn’t ever tell jokes because everything he said was stupidly not funny and hated being not serious even for a single second, was making your stupidly thick, built, and strong boyfriend giggle like a schoolgirl. Izuku only laughed like that around you?!

Oh, fucking, no, you realized, your back straightening, your eyes blazing into Izuku’s side profile that still illuminated the deep, intensity of his blinding happy smile.

“Kacchaaannn!” Izuku suddenly whined, his lips pressing into a pout that wouldn’t form because of his stupid, irritatingly handsome smile. “That’s not fair!”

Growling under your breath, you grabbed the new drink presented to you by the bartender and began chugging.

Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan.

Kacchan, Kaacchan, Kaa-chan.

You spluttered, your head light and fuzzy with the inhibiting alcohol as you heard Izuku still rambling on the phone to his dumb fucking Kacchan.

‘Did he just?’ you thought, entirely unprepared for that name to whisper from his mouth.

Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan.

You stopped a broken moan from spilling from your mouth at that word. Despite the coursing alcohol in your veins and the way it typically made you hornier slower, that slightly whiny, entirely Izuku’s tone when he said what your horny brain to be interpreting as Kaa-chan, your panties became wet immediately.

“Izuku,” you breathed — almost whined — into his ear. Your chest pressed against his muscled arm—your mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of his ear before biting down on his earlobe.

“Y-Y-Yes, y/n?” Izuku stammered, his face flushing, mind entirely lost at the feeling of your breasts pressing onto his arm and probably his stupid Kacchan’s voice in his other ear.

“I’m wearing those panties you really, really like,” you moaned softly into his ear, your teeth nibbling on his earlobe.

You never heard Izuku hang up so quickly on his Kacchan as he downed his drink and quickly followed after you, a puppy at your heels.

The two of you made it home, mouths pressing fervently together, fingers in each other’s hair and clothes. You giggled when you managed to push your much larger boyfriend into the door the moment you both managed to enter your apartment.

His scarred fingers had invaded the underneath of your skirt, already pressing his fingertips to the lacey fabric. He moaned against your mouth, his hands pervertedly gripping your full ass in his large, hot palms.

“Call me Kaa-chan,” you suddenly moaned, your mouth tearing away from Izuku’s reveling in the fact that he tried to chase after your mouth. It was at moments like this that being so much smaller than your skyscraper of your boyfriend helped — the third year of high school had made your entire male classmates grow an additional near one hundred centimeters, fucking ridiculous.

“W-What?!” Izuku spluttered, his eyes wide but still entirely glazed over with his lust.

“Kaa-chan,” you slur, the alcohol in your veins and his kisses on your lips, making your brain mush. “Call me, Kaa-chan, please!”

“I-I can’t? I’m not going to call you, Kacchan! T-That’s so weird? You don’t even look like him, and even if you did, I’m sure that would be entirely not okay! That’s Kacchan’s nickname, and for me to just use it in bed would make me think that I’m having sex with Kacchan, and I bet you’d agree about how not okay that would be! Imagine that! That would be not okay, but if there’s anything else you want me to call you in bed, although, you do have the best reactions to me whenever I call you—” Izuku rambled, his eyes searching the dark hallway for something to focus on. His face red with slight humiliation and his muttering tongue speeding so fast you could barely keep up with his sentences with your drunken brain.

“Not Kacchan,” you roll your eyes, your hands pressed to his side, trapping him between your arms — something that was a hilarious sight. “Kaa-chan, Izuku-chan, Kaa-chan.”

“O-Oh.”

You pulled away from the wall, your eyes bright with what you thought would finally be the tipping point in your biggest kink finding a spot in your sex life with Izuku.

But Izuku begins laughing, his head shaking quickly, the laughter so loud that you watch literal tears form in his eyes as he stands there. Your cunt suddenly feels dry.

“I-I can’t do that,” Izuku finally manages to press through, his hand on his stomach as small laughs still manage to breakthrough. “Oh, god, no, I can’t. I’ll always think of Kacchan when — if I call you kaa-chan.”

Your lips pressed together, anger flushing through your blood as you nod your head once.

“Fine.”

“Y-Y/n!” Izuku bawks, his eyes wide as he quickly understood that he hurt your feelings with that outburst of his. “W-Wait, I mean—”

“No need,” you cement over, lips pursed in your shaking anger. “Give me some time alone, please.”

Izuku can only watch with wide, tearful eyes as you guide him out of your apartment, and you don’t look at him when you close the door, too afraid of what those puppy dog eyes would do to you. You needed time after being laughed at like that; your pride demanded it.

It took less than five hours for you to forgive Izuku. He had stayed in the hallway of your apartment. Sitting outside of your door, waiting for you to message him of some sort about wanting to talk. You hadn’t precisely forgiven him, just wouldn’t allow your more often than not perfect boyfriend to be trapped outside, sleeping in a terrible position on your day off. So at nearly two am, your eyes refusing to close and fall asleep, you trudged to your front door and demanded he gets in or else he’d sleep in the hallway.

Izuku had looked up at you with tired, sad eyes, and your throat tightened as you looked away with a huff. He had gotten to his feet and walked into your apartment, kissing you softly as the door closed behind the two of you. Despite you having been the one to kick him out earlier, he carried you to your room as you began to cry again. He undressed to just his boxers, and the two of you cuddled each other before the both of you fell asleep, feeling slightly better.

Although you hated to admit it, everything was back to normal the following morning.

Well, that is until the fateful day when you were straddled across Izuku’s waist, his thick, long cock stretching you out as much as it felt that first time you fucked, riding him until his hands left bruising prints on your hips. You knew what made Izuku tick, moan, and go absolutely feral in bed; you knew him so well, and if the indicating throbbing of his swollen cock had anything to say, was that he was seconds from cumming.

Again, this was a fateful day.

His work phone suddenly screeched at the nightstand, and you both screamed at the horror.

What was happening?!

Not bothering to unmount from his cock, Izuku grabbed his phone and placed it to his ear.

“Hello, Deku, speaking!”

You pouted from on top of him, still rather pleased that his cock was still firm within you, and you watched his face, ready to send the blood in his cock right back to his head and get him out the front door if it was an emergency.

“K-KACCHAN?! THIS ISN’T AN EMERGENCY!” Izuku screamed, his face pounding red as his free arm collapsed over his eyes.

You were going to kill motherfucking shithead, Bakugou Katsuki.

Your eyes narrowed, and with the fury of being cockblocked by your boyfriend's stupid best friend in a whole new way, you began to shift your hips against his cock. Your hips rising and falling as you continued to fuck Izuku, uncaring that he was on the phone.

Izuku, never having been good at being secretive, let out a strangled choke and a moan, his hand thrown over his eyes trying to get a solid hold on your hips to keep you from fucking yourself against him. He froze, his face exploding with heat the moment you forcibly clenched around his thick length, “I-I-I’m at y/n’s apartment! Kacchan! NO! We were having sex!”

Rolling your eyes, you knew he was going to blab that secret out.

“We are having sex right now, K-Kacchan!” Izuku whimpered, downright hilarious of the brick wall of a pro hero could do. “Kacchan, that’s not fair! You called on my emergency-only phone! Of course, I was going to pick up!”

Red bled into your vision as you realized that Bakugou undoubtedly was talking shit about your ability to fuck your own boyfriend.

“Kacchan!” Izuku groaned again, but you were far past the point of being okay with this situation.

Grabbing the phone from Izuku’s hand, you slammed the phone to your ear, listening to the chortling laughter of Bakugou fucking Katsuki.

“You fucking piece of fucking shit, try calling this number again without a proper fucking emergency next time, and I’ll kill. you!” you spat into the phone, your blood boiling as the laughter on the other side of the line stopped, only for you to be met with an irritated and challenge-accepted growl of Bakugou Katsuki, who was seconds from responding back with his own threat and challenge. But you hung up, chucking the phone into the corner of the room before setting your sight on Izuku who’s eyes and pupils were blown wide.

You couldn’t even begin to process that your words had turned Izuku on; you could barely feel his throbbing, twitching cock buried deep in your womb because your inner walls held a vice, unbreakable grip on him. Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan. You had finally heard that stupid fucking nickname in bed, and still, the way it was said and who it was for wasn’t for you, and you were absolutely frothing.

“Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan,” you spit out, fury and animosity, your hips still slamming down on his cock, Izuku’s scarred hands once again reaching for your waist. “Is there any other fucking name you can ramble in bed?!”

Izuku cries out, his hips snapping up to meet yours, the echoing slap of your meeting sexes still not loud enough to tune out your angry, abhorrent thoughts.

“N-No?!” Izuku stammers out, confusion heavy on his tongue, and you know why, but you don’t care. “I-I-I don’t! What else am I supposed to sayyyy oh my god, baby! What am I supposed to call Kacchan?!”

A cold shiver runs down your spine, and you smile slowly. You wait for green eyes to open and lock on you before your smile becomes cunning, altogether ferocious, and biting as your hand reaches out and grabs the curls at the nape of his neck. You yank on the hair towards you, watching as his neck arches, and you coo at the breathless gasp that spills from his mouth as your lips are at his ear, his cock threatening to slip out of your boiling cunt at this new angle. There’s a growl on your tone, your lips brushing against the soft cartilage of his ear. “Say Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan. Since you fucking want your damn fucking Kacchan so badly that you can’t even indulge in my little nickname, I’ll make sure to ruin the damn fucking nickname for you forever.”

You pull away, your hissing words sitting heavy in his ears as you slip off his cock and stumble to the closet for your toys.

Izuku lets out a needy noise, his breaths pathetic gasps as he looks at you and away, unable to fully comprehend just what you were planning on doing to him.

Slamming open the closet, you grab the plastic tinted box in the closet, throwing it open and grabbing three items.

One: your pretty green harness.

You had bought at a sex shop store you frequent whenever you were bored and alone. About six months ago, this particular sex shop had obtained rights to sell Pro Hero styled lingerie and sex toys. This harness was modeled after Izuku’s costume, and you bought it to surprise him with whenever you two got into pegging.

Two: the bottle of lube.

Also purchased from the sex shop. Apparently, it was a lube that was both super cold and hot — obviously modeled after Todoroki. It would start off as cold on the skin before warming up to temperatures that were guaranteed to make people shriek and moan like porn stars.

And last, but definitely not least, your ace up your sleeve: the strap on dildo.

At the same sex shop, they had released a limited quantity, a one-week available dildo that was nearly impossible to accept was a thing. Along their wall of many, many different shapes and sizes of dildos had sat seven limited dildos made from the cocks of pro heroes.

One of which being Ground Fucking Zero: Bakugou Katsuki.

You’re not sure what possessed you into buying it, but you did. The dildo modeled after Bakugou’s own cock was now something you possessed, something you hid from Izuku’s sight at all times. The cock was about eight, nearly nine inches, maintaining a fat, swollen head and base, with thick veins running through its length.

The dildo itself was completely minimalist, jet black with only the Ground Zero’s logo painted to the bottom of the curve, but if you were to do this, Izuku wouldn’t know it was his best friend's cock until you were done with him.

Throwing your legs through the harness, you turn your head to lock eyes with Izuku’s bright eyes that are taking in your every move. You fasten the ties, making them just a tad bit tight around your thighs and waist because you knew that Izuku loved seeing the divot in your skin.

Your eyes are peering through your lashes to look at him, your frown becoming a confident, biting smirk as you attach the dildo, immediately covering your hand with the cold lube before slicking up the silicone cock. Izuku watches you with shaking thighs as you climb back onto the bed, your eyes dark, dangerous, as your fingers drag down his toned and muscled calves.

“Get on your fucking hands and knees like the fucking good boy you are,” you growl out the command, your fingernails digging into his skin. “Show your cute fucking ass to your Kaa-chan.”

Izuku let out a heavy moan as his body quickly shifted over, he got up onto his knees, but he went a step further by pressing onto his knees, letting his scarred back curve beautifully for you.

You groan at the sight, Izuku's large, muscled ass on full display for you. His body trembles and shakes with every breath he takes and how his muscles are tight with his nervousness. His little asshole clenching and tightening at the air, undoubtedly ready to have you press the cock into him. You groan, your hand that's slick with the lube becoming warmer with the intended promise of the lube, and your grin when you grip his supple asscheeks between your hands, delighting at the way his flesh molds within your hands.

“You have such a pretty little ass, baby boy,” you moan, your index finger circling around the rim of his pert, tight hole. You lean in closer, your hot breaths spilling across his muscle that sends it spasming in its attempts to clench around nothing. “What do you want your Kaa-chan to do?”

Izuku stammers, his mouth unable to form any sort of coherent sentence as you lather your fingers in the cold lube, and without much of an introduction, you slide your slick, cold index finger into his hole. Izuku cries loudly when you move your finger inside of his ass, and you smirk at the sight of his twisted with delirium face before you. Eyes crossed, tongue hanging out as your finger dives into his ass.

“Does this feel good, baby?” you ask, finger curling deep within his ass.

He can’t find the energy to speak, but strangled noises of approval are made, and his hips shift back onto your thrusting finger.

You enter a new finger, stretching out his tight muscle even further, your two fingers reaching a further depth and more manageable pace than you had before. You grin at the way Izuku begins to fuck himself against your fingers, his asshole looking as if it swallows your fingers as your dildo ruts against his leaking cock. Izuku's chest collapses onto the mattress when you glide your free hand against both the dildo and his cock as you continue to finger his ass — a third finger eventually joining.

“God, your ass is so fucking slutty, sweetie,” you groan, absolutely obsessed with the pink haze on Izuku’s cheeks and the growing moans. “Is your Kaa-chan making you feel good? Kaa-chan promises that she’ll protect you through everything!”

Izuku spams, a loud cry of your name as your fingernails scratch at his walls, and his hips buck further into your fingers deep in his ass before rutting back into your hand, stroking his cock. You coo at how he is clearly enjoying it, chest-thumping with how he clearly wants more, and how you intend to give him more. A sadistic smile carved onto your face as his rambling begins to take shape begins to actually have meaning behind it except the whining, pitiful cries.

“You are!” Izuku finally manages to gasp, his ass slamming back onto your curled three fingers. The lube is now hot as it can grow, and Izuku is obsessed with the heat in his ass. “You’re doing this to me, y/n!”

You freeze, fingers freezing in his ass as Izuku once again refused to call you Kaa-chan.

Well then.

Freeing your fingers from deep in his ass, your upper lip curled into a snarl as you doused the Ground Zero dildo with the ice-cold lube, your blood roaring in your ear. It just seemed that you were going to have to take that nickname by force.

Slapping the lube coated dildo between the valley of his pretty, beautiful asscheeks, you grabbed his head of curls, snapping his head back so that his ear was a lick away. “Listen to what I’m about to fucking do, I-zu-ku,” you accentuate his name, your free hand gripping his slick cock, and fisting it slowly, your grip tightening whenever he tried to rut into your grip. “Your real fucking Kaa-chan is going to fuck your brains out and make sure that you can’t say that stupid fucking nickname to Bakugou without getting hard and remembering what I’m about to do to you, Deku,” you practically snarled into Izuku’s ear. Izuku freezes for a second, deep flushed red exploding on his face before he moans loudly, face burying into the mattress as you rut the silicone veined cock between his ready, supple cheeks. “Now, what’s my fucking name?”

“Kacchan…” Deku’s mouth fumbles, unable to find that distinction even like this, but that’s okay, you got time.

“Again, Deku,” you snap, watching as a shiver slams down his spine at the nickname, and you press the head of the cold, lube coated dildo against his ready, clenching asshole.

“Kaa-aachan!” Deku moans loudly, and you press the head of the black dildo into his ass, watching as his slutty little ass swallows the head without a single problem. His back arches further, and his ass shakes as you keep him from falling further on his Kacchan’s cock.

“Are you having that much fucking trouble distinguishing who’s fucking you right now, Deku?!” you practically seethe, your fingernails digging into his firm, plump ass before beginning to drag the cockhead away.

“No!” Deku sobs, his ass pathetically following after your exiting cock. “I’m not Kaa-chan, I promise!”

Oh, the golden words you’ve been looking for.

With a widespread, near-feral grin, you slammed the whole cock within him, not stopping until you couldn’t see the black of the dildo, and your thighs were pressed against his ass. The noises that spilled from Izuku’s mouth with sinful, lewd, and made you think for a second the hot and cold lube was in your cunt. His mouth continued to speak at a speed you couldn’t understand, his ass greedily sucking the dildo in with no thought to return it.

“I-It feels so good!” Deku cries, his ass slapping backward onto your strap. “Your cock is so good!”

“Damn fucking right it is, Deku,” you laughed, hands gripping his hips and with a determined show to make sure he knew just who the superior Kaacchan was, you began to rut your hips back up again his.

Your pace was a lot faster than Deku’s, thighs crashing against his ass with every successive pound of your hips. Deku, who’s always been so good about being responsive in bed, is crying and moaning like a bitch in heat. His moans are endless and delightfully loud, his ass slamming backward to meet your rutting hips, and you can't help but land a loud spank against his sweet ass.

“How is this feeling, Deku? Tell your Kaa-chan how your shitty little hole is feeling?” you laugh, your body leaning over his, your lips and teeth marking up his sweaty, scarred back with bites marks and hickies. “Tell your Kaa-chan how it feels to have your shitty asshole fucked like this?”

“It feels sooo good, Kaa-chan!” Deku sobs and you shiver at the power behind that stupid little nickname. “My Kaa-chan is making me feel so good, so loved! Kaa-chan’s cock is stretching my ass out so good, her cock makes my stomach and ass feel so funny, but I d-don’t want it to end!”

His back is arched, and his fingers can no longer clutch the fabric of the mattress, and it’s all overwhelming as you fuck into him faster, more demanding, with more intention to have him be yours forever.

“My precious little Deku looks so fucking cute when he’s crying for his Kaa-chan,” you pant, your thrusts becoming sloppier with your heightened pleasure, knowing just whose cock he was crying for. His stupid Kacchan could never do this.

The raw noises of wanton pleasure rip from Deku’s throat and his ass comes down to fuck back on your strap on with greater power, faster speed. You keep up, though, you have to prove your worth, you’ll fuck his brains out until the only thing he can call you is his Kaa-chan. You grip his hips, your knees shifting as you find a new angle, a better angle as you drill the cock in faster and further in, bottoming out in him with every stroke of your bucking hips.

“Fuck!” he screams, his knees almost wholly giving out on you as you drive against his prostate. The cock and angle you had quickly allowing you such a pleasure as you fuck into him faster. And upon the tenth slam against his prostate, Deku is shouting. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Kaa-chan!”

Drool is pouring onto the bed, and you feel on fire as Deku continues to whimper, continues to cry your name, claiming that his Kaa-chan has never made him feel this good before. Your hands move from his waist and find themselves latched onto his curls and fisting his cock again. The power that hums through your body makes you see stars as he cries at the pain of having his hair yanked backward, and having your fingers press against the head of his weeping, pre-cum drenched cock.

“Oh, poor pathetic Deku,” you snarl despite the grin on your face, sweat drips down your temple, and you laugh. “Does your pathetic fucking cock need to cum? Do you need to cum while your Kaa-chan’s cock fucks you?”

“Y-Yes Kaa-chan!” Deku screams, his tongue falling from his mouth, his eyes dazed in his hysteria. “Yes, Kaa-chan! I want to cum on your cock, please let me cum on your cock!”

Your cunt throbs from your arousal and lack of stimulus, but the apparent slick in your lips that is slowly dripping down your thighs, makes your next train of thought seem worlds apart hot. The hand in his curls fists his hair harder, snapping Deku closer, making his back arch further. The hand around his cock pinches his cock head together, a pain you had discovered that never failed to get him to cum. And your hips, the hips that drove the Ground Zero dildo further into his tight, greedy asshole, slammed viciously and barbarically into his pretty little asshole.

Deku praises your cock again, his eyes fluttering shut as he cries for his Kaa-chan’s cock, and in a blind fit of victory, your lips press against his ear and whisper to him the truth.

“I’m actually fucking you with your Kacchan’s cock,” you admit, feeling Deku go rigid beneath you. “I know you know what I’m talking about, Deku. So yes, I bought it just to fuck you with it, and look! It’s Kacchan’s cock, but it's your Kaa-chan who’s making you feel so. good. with it!”

And with one last driving slam of Kacchans cock into Deku’s slutty, needy hole, you can feel his cock spasm within your hold, and the way his ass tightens beautifully around the dildo, and he collapses with a pitiful, pathetic: “Oh my god.”

Your hand is coated in his hot, heavy load of cum. You pull away from him, and you laugh, watching as Deku moves onto his back, his eyes fluttering with a million emotions as you bring your hand to your mouth and lick his musty cum clean from your hand.

“Now,” you cough, slipping the harness from your waist and thighs and climbing back onto his awaiting, still semi-hard cock. You moaned at the feeling of his cock hardening back within your crazy soaked cunt. “Kaa-chan wants you to suck your Kaa-chan’s tits, and then you’ll be rewarded for being. So. Good.”

His eyes swim with uncertainty before he blinks, his hips rutting up to meet your cunt, and his mouth latching onto your needy nipple.

“Anything for you, Kaa-chan.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Bonus!

Due to Bakugou calling on Izuku’s emergency-only phone, Bakugou had come over with an apology dinner made for the two of you. You sat at the table, Bakugou sitting in front of you, Izuku, to your side in the square table Izuku owned.

Bakugou was already frowning, his body language trying to hide the apparent surprise that went through him when Izuku opened the door and greeted him as ‘Bakugou-kun!’

Had you known his reaction would be that pathetic, you wouldn’t have bothered to accept his dinner. You would have sufficed with that moment being caught on camera instead.

But no, Izuku loved Bakugou’s cooking, and you were now sitting here, glaring at Bakugou, who was glaring right back at you.

However, you knew Bakugou wanted to understand why his childhood nickname had suddenly been abandoned, and you had strategically placed Izuku’s favorite drink near the empty seat. Closer to you than it was to Bakugou because you knew that asshole was quicker than most.

“Oh, Kaa-chan, do you mind passing me my drink?” Izuku asked before flushing at the realization of what he called you in front of Bakugou.

But Bakugou didn’t notice, how could he?

Because both of you had made for his drink, and you just managed to snatch it before Bakugou did as you watched in evil elation as Bakugou quickly placed two and two together. Handing the glass to Izuku, you smiled, as he stammered out an embarrassed thank you.

“Sorry, boys, I’m actually needed somewhere tonight,” you lie, rising to your feet as Bakugou’s eyes rage with something you can’t name but love nonetheless. “I’ll leave you two alone, I’ll be back!”

You don’t let Izuku’s embarrassed begs for you to say deter you, your fingers grabbing your boyfriend by the chin before kissing him deeply, shoving your tongue into his mouth for good measure as you look at the still, void Bakugou when you break away.

You don’t know what happens as you leave, but the way that Izuku’s less superior Kacchan snaps his name makes your toes curl with pleasure.

Oh, you really liked this.

#midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #bbs kinktober 2020

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l4verq · 3 years

Text

dumb theories | b.b

bucky barnes x reader

in which you have an incredibly dumb idea in hopes of seeing him again

warnings : angst, fluff

fic : one shot

a/n : kinda inspired by new moon, yall DON’T do this shit lol Bella was dumb. and so is y/n 😳

|| gif by @love-ha-fge ||

The first time it happened, you thought you were going insane.

You had to take the subway that day cause your stupid car wouldn’t start for some reason.

It would be the third day in a row that you were late if you wasted any more time and you were already tottering a treacherous line of possibly being fired due to “mandatory cutbacks”.

So, you make a mental note to ring up your sister cause she’s always known her way around cars and rush towards the metro station.

It’s a Wednesday, quite possibly the busiest you’ve seen the subway.

You clump your way through the swarm of people, eyes on the ground, trying not to step on others.

But it’s hard cause you’re in these ridiculously high heels that you were sure you’d love during a late night shopping spree.

And your worst fear comes true when your ankle buckles, legs wobbling as you try not to fall.

But a strong hand grips your arm, steadying you on to your feet.

It takes you a spilt second to whip your head around because you know it’s him, his touch.

You look around frantically, searching for those blue eyes that you’ve missed so desperately.

Your hope dwindles with each bump into a passerby, harsh reality sinking in again.

Which hurts the same as when he left you, a solemn farewell on the rooftop of your apartment.

“It’s safer for you if I’m not around.”

You could only stand and stare as he left, metal arm glinting in the afternoon sun, hoping he’d turn around.

The second time, you’re black out drunk in a random club with your co-workers.

Not your best look but you were too miserable to be alone that night.

A pep talk to yourself about how you deserve someone better than him and five shots later, he’s off your mind which feels nice, for a change.

But you could never really take alcohol that well so you’re bent over a toilet seat, hurling next to a couple making out.

You just wanted to go home.

But home wasn’t where your apartment was.

It was in the arms of a grumpy 106 year old supersoldier, who looked way too good for his age.

The next day, you’d woken up in your bed, neatly tucked in.

Everything the same as before, only the window, you always kept shut, was wide open.

Sometimes you could swear, you see a tint of ivory out of the corner of your eye, while in the grocery store, in the park, on your way to work.

But you always find nothing when you glance over.

Your sister claims your misery is progressing to delusions, that you need to get laid.

You flick her off, half convinced by her theory.

Yet here you are, hands clutching on to the railings as you try not to look twenty stories down.

You had your own theory to test out.

Not your smartest idea, could possibly be the last idea you have.

But the consequences somehow seemed to dull at the thought of possibly seeing him again.

You teeter to the very edge, hands slowly letting go as you fall.

It’s all a blur of wind and glasses until everything goes black.

“You got lucky,” The man smiles, “Bucky took most of the hit.”

He introduces himself as Finnick, a pudgy man with thick rimmed glasses.

“Are you a doctor?” You croak, eyes skimming over the tubes jammed in your arm.

You were propped up against a pillow, a machine beeping next to you.

He gets up to leave, “Close enough. All you need is one more good night’s rest and you’ll be good as new.”

You close your eyes as your stupid decisions come rushing back to you.

“Is he-.”

“Pissed, yeah. He’s been waiting for you to wake up since Tuesday.” Finnick smiles, sadly.

Tuesday? How many days had it been?

You don’t have time to think cause he arrives at the door, in his daunting kevlar suit.

The stupid mask over his pretty face once again.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble as you brace yourself for him to chew you out.

But instead he storms in and pulls you in a tight embrace, stoically.

Your free hand limps around his waist.

You smile cause you’ve missed this so much and so has he.

But he pulls away and gruffs, “That was stupid.”

You avert your gaze to the floor, gnawing at your lip.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. You could have died.” His voice breaks.

All the what ifs had haunted him for the past two days as you laid unconscious, regretting ever leaving you.

“I kinda did when you left.” You confess, unable to meet his eyes.

His rugged hand reaches to lift your chin to look him in his coarsened blue eyes.

It’s at times like this when he wants to run away with you somewhere safe, where he could tell you how much he loves you.

But he knew his demons would catch up to him, they always did.

And he couldn’t let them taint you too.

“You’re dramatic.” His face softens underneath the mask.

You smile and he smiles too thinking about how he’d fall off another building just to see that again.

Hand slowly reaching out to the back of his mask, he flinches slightly as you pull it off.

The only person he’d let touch his face willingly.

You notice a new ridged line leading from his mouth to his ear.

“S’nothing.” He assures you, your finger tracing the mellowed scar.

“Did it hurt?” You ask, already knowing what he’d say.

You never asked much about what he did, but you knew enough.

Why he couldn’t stay the night, why he sneaked out your window each time.

He shakes his head, kissing your hand.

“Do you have to go?” You whisper, heart sinking again.

He had to.

Hydra still did daily check-ins though the ‘treatments’ stopped years ago and he couldn’t risk anything.

Not when so much was on the line.

“Only after you fall asleep.”

“And when I wake up?”

“I’ll be right next to you.”

a/n : smone stop me frm commiting infidelity, tfatws is making me fall for bucky even more and steve’s pissed😳🏃🏻‍♀️ lol im still cringing as i post this👁👽

#james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #sebastian stan #mcu #marvel #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier #bucky fic #bucky

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shikai-the-storyteller · 6 years

Text

LOST LIGHT 22 READ (THAT I TOTALLY DIDN’T FORGET TO POST)

OHHHH MAN I DIDN"T REALIZE THIS WAS THE COMIC WITH THE CHROMEDOME COVER W/ RUNG IN ALT MODE IM IMMEDIATELY SO FRICKIN WORRIED

Me: *sees that this is the cover with Chromedome and Rung in alt-mode form* *WORRIED WHEEZE*

IM ONLY ON THE COVER AND IM ALREADY FREAKING OUT

*Stares at Chromedome with heart eyes while feeling waves of anxiety* I love you my sweet boy pleASE DONT DIE I WOULDN"T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT

MAN IM SO ANXIOUS ABOUT THE LOST LIGHT CHAPTER

I JUST SCREAMED “UNICRON IS HERE OH NO” OUT LOUD

*sees Megatron still has an Autobot badge* *BREATHES A SIGH OF RELIEF EVEN IF I KNOW THATS NOT NECESSARILY INDICATIVE OF ANYTHING*

GIANT TITAN???? I LITERALLY SAID “OH SNAP” OUT LOUD

OH MY GOSH HE NAMED HIS SHIP “THE LAST LIGHT” I JUST NOTICED THAT

“The Return of the King” I AM SHRIEKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Since when did Cybertron have an alt mode” THAT"S A DANG GOOD QUESTION I THOUGHT THAT WAS A METRO TITAN

Chromedome’s casually like “Oh that’s Cybertron” UH BUDDY THAT”S KIND OF A BIG FRICKIN DEAL

“Megatron! What in the actual hell is going on?” THAT"S AN EVEN BETTER QUESTION RODIMUS

gosh roddy looks so good in his classic red and orange and yellow look I’m weeping

MEGATRON….

“I’m waving” RODIMUS YOU ARE PRECIOUS

It only took five pages but Megatron ALREADY looks so Done with Rodimus lmaoooo welcome back Megs

Grimlock: Megatron? Rodimus: I never thought I’d say this but…he’s not that bad when you get to know him Me: *OLD MAN CLUTCHING CHEST REACTION MEME*

Pharma: *points at Ratchet* Me, immediately: nO NO NONONO!!!!

Half of me: IM SO FRICKIN WORRIED ABOUT RATCHET I MEAN I KNOW HE”LL BE FINE BUT IM STILL WORRIED Other half of me: haha Pharma wants to brag in front of his ex

WH-

WHAT

IM SORRY I JUST

I CAN”T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, I JUST SNORTED SO LOUDLY

IT"S THE HAND-HOLDING FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE OF DEATH

NO THE FUNCTIONISTS KILLED ORION PAX

SCREW YOU GUYS IM NOT TAKING BACK MY JOKE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE I HATE THIS

WHY!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL ORION!!!

oh shoot they killed Terminus too??? HECK DUDE

“Pax, Terminus, Rung, Nightstalker, Impactor…we’ve taken all those he ever loved” HE LOVED THEM

LOVED

THEM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HECK

I HATE TRANSFORMERS I HATE THIS SERIES

I had to google who Nightstalker was GDI HE WAS RAVAGE’S PARTNER, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU GOTTA DO ME DIRTY IDW

STOP KILLING MEGATRON’S CATS, LET HIM LIVE YOU MONSTERS

Rodimus: What are you going to do? Megatron: From your perspective I’m going to try and kill you MEGATRON PLEASE

DRIFT OH NO

I ACTUALLY GASPED OUT LOUD OH MY GOSH!!!!

I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN BUT DANGIT JRO THAT WAS COLD

I KNOW HE”LL BE OK BUT DANG

My first thought, immediately after panicking: Oh Saling’s gonna lose their mind at these panels

“I am not Pharma, but I do think he’s trying to assert himself” OH SHOOT SO THAT"S NOT PHARMA

lmao “I’m not Pharma but he keeps screaming at me to brag that he shot your current boyfriend”

“You built a spacebridge into my mind” uH

“I met someone as they crossed the threshold. When they ran I reached out to retrieve them-” UH

IM LOSING MY DANG MIND “You’re talking to Pharma and I’ve got to say Ratchet you’re looking very-” GDI PHARMA YOU”RE KILLING ME HERE what a gay disaster

“I was Adaptus” UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wait wtf Whirl’s on the Last Light AND with Rodimus? OH WAIT SHOOT IS THAT HIS KID ON THE LAST LIGHT!????? WAIT A MINUTE

AW….THE MEGATRON ULTRA MAGNUS MOMENT….OOF THAT HURTS MY HEART

OH WAIT SHOOT DRIFT ACTUALLY IS REALLY HURT HECK

WHAT"S A ZERO POINT IS HE GONNA BE OK???

“Let me look at him” Megatron I don’t think you have a medical degree for that

OH MY GOSH HIS FUSION CANON IS ACTUALLY A TOOL KIT….IM WEEPING…I LOVE THAT.

MEGATRON AND DRIFT ARE FINALLY (sorta) SPEAKING NOW IM REALLY WEEPING

Aw I know JRO’s super pressed for time with everything but I’m glad he was able to put that interaction in there

There’s so many good things about this panel: Cyconus side-eyeing Megatron, Swerve ragging on Megatron’s interior design choice (even though Swerve’s favorite color is purple), Megatron defending his choice to Swerve….good content here folks

“Four weeks…Minimus I’ve not seen you in centuries” *WAILS*

I LOVE THEM SO FRICKIN MUCH

Local goth sulks in the corner and misses his boyfriend

MORTILUS WAS THE NECROBOT….I REALLY AM GOING TO WEEP

IM SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

RUNG IS PRIMUS

IM LOSING MY DANG MIND

IM LAUGHING BECAUSE JRO, AS THE WRITER, IS ESSENTIALLY THE GOD OF THE STORY SO IT MAKES SENSE THAT HIS INSERT WOULD BE IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL LOSING IT OH MY GOSH

TRANSFORMERS IS THE BEST SERIES IN THE UNIVERSE

FRICKIN JRO “This is my oc, he’s god”

I CAN”T WAIT TIL THE NEXT ISSUE THIS IS GONNA BE THE LONGEST TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OF MY LIFE

#i talk #I'm reading Transformers #lost light #Primordial robot hell #(I DID FORGET)#Transformers spoiler #I DIDNT WANT TO POST IT UNTIL IT CAME OUT OFFICIALLY THAT WAY I WOULDNT SPOIL ANYONE #lost light spoiler #mtmte spoiler

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

#hinatalks #long post

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ainatravelsto · 7 years

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South Korea Trip 2k16; Day 2 (Seoul)

Hey!

Congrats, you made it to day 2! (LONG OVERDUE SORZ ITS THE 4TH WEEK OF MY SUMMER SEM IM DYING) (update: nah didnt finish it on my 4th week.... i finished this during my sem break... heh)

Instead of visiting historical places there’s one thing I’ve been wanting way before we arrived in Seoul..... Visit K-pop entertainment companies/buildings.

Yes. I’m actually a K-pop fan, probably one of the main reasons why we went there for a holiday djskhdjkhkdhsajkdkhsda. I told my parents that I at least need a day where I can visit as many companies as I can since one day is not enough tbh. My parents agreed that my bro can follow me to while hunting down these buildings while both my mom and dad went to visit other places around Seoul.

I initially wanted to wake up a lil early but as usual, we suck at waking up early so we were kind of behind schedule. We got ready asap and then had breakfast at the Italian restaurant in our hotel called 3 Birds. I would recommend this restaurant but I won’t because of their RUDE staff. They looked like they were forced to be there y’know? They also take away food tooooo quick right on the dot when the buffet is over.... When there are still people picking out food. I get that it’s over but it would be rude to take away all the food while someone’s still picking out their food? No?

Ok after we’re done with breakfast both of us separate. We bought our T-Money card to use for the subway stations a day before so we just went to one of the nearest stations and went to the first place on our list. Before we arrived at our first destination, we stopped by stations halfway to find advertisements of one of my favorite idols. I’m a huge fan of a group called BTS especially one of the vocalists, named Taehyung, stage name V (let’s just call him Taehyung plox). It was his birthday month so many of his fans (or just fansites) put up advertisements for his birthday at selected subway stations around Seoul. We found like 2 that day and wow I didn’t imagine myself seeing it with my own eyes instead of being behind the screen. I’ve always seen pics of Korean fans posting pics of them posing for the ads. It’s just surreal I’m there y’know,,,,, as a fan. As you can see in the photos, I was REALLY happy.

So after the mini photo shoot, we continued on to our first destination. The first destination is actually, Big Hit Entertainment, aka BTS’ company. I felt that I should visit the office at least once in my life since I’m a huge fan. I have realized that many fans are confused on where the hell is the building because it’s very low-key not like YG or SM so to those who need help, I can help y’all with this. However, it’s not very detailed and apparently, Big Hit already moved to a bigger office at Apgugeong??? If I’m not mistaken? But if you’re curious then:

The nearest metro station to the building was Line 3 Sinsa Station so that’s where we stopped.

1. You walk out of Exit 1 of Sinsa station and just walk straight and take a right after 5 blocks. There should be blocks of buildings on your right anyway with small roads going on a small hill.

2. Take the 2nd street on your left and on the 3rd block, you should be able to see Big Hit on your right.

3. If you’re lost with all these instructions (LIKE I WAS PREVIOUSLY) Google Maps does wonders. I also used Waze but it is based on you using a car. So stick with Google Maps since you’re walking and search ‘Big Hit Entertainment’. Some of the locations they give MIGHT be false so prepare yourself for that.

*It might look lowkey scary going on your own so pls bring someone with you.

Tbh, we almost got lost a few times but eventually, we found our way. We walked a few places and later we found it. Shout out to Google Maps for saving our asses. I’m amazed how we didn’t need to ask anyone to find our way. Bles technology!

OH STORY TIME: I coincidentally bumped into BTS’ manager right in front of us when we were finding Big Hit.

Yep, that’s right. He’s probably the reason why I could find Big Hit because he was heading that way dsjgdkhjsagydsgkdskks. When we were almost got to Big Hit there was a man with takeaway coffee on his hand. It was still the morning btw so I thought oh some random man going to work. But, I had a good look on his face and I freaked out. Once I saw his face my face just went blank because I recognize his face from somewhere and I straight away knew he was the manager. As an avid fan, I’ve seen HQs & press photos of BTS with their manager so I’m used to seeing his face time to time. So once I saw his face, I almost froze and stopped my bro. My bro was confused and later I explained to him quietly who he was. I kinda took a pic lmao:

So the smartest thing I’ve done after that is to go the other way, completely going to the opposite direction of Big Hit. I didn’t want to make him think of us as some international stalkers or sasaengs. Later when I thought it felt safe, we went to the direction where he went which leads to Big Hit. Surprise surprise, he was gone. He probably went in already so...

ANYWAYS, as typical tourists we took photos.

What makes it more interesting, some Big Hit staff told us to go away when we didn’t even go in the building or anything.... We just taking photos.... But at the same time... I highkey feel like someone was inside... Possibly BTS? Whatever it is, wow.... I got shooed away by Big Hit staff LMAO.

Moving on, we went back to the train station and arrived at Samseong Station to visit SMTOWN! I feel that almost every kpop fan goes there when they visit Seoul lmao. Wow, I was shocked at how I was actually there and not from photos. Saw cool standees from Baekhyun (exo bias HI), Krystal, and lots more! I too took one of the photo booth photos!!!! leeet

One thing most stans go for is basically.... THE MERCH. I mean other than going for the live concert thingies (which I didn’t bother to go), official merchandise is the best next thing... So obviously if anyone wants to get their fave SM artists’ merch, going to SMTOWN itself is fine, more specifically, their albums. Their albums are reasonably priced so you don’t have to buy it outside in my opinion. Their official merchandise from posters, photobooks, phone cases, even the food are one of a kind. I feel if going to SMTOWN, and you’re an avid fan of EXO, Red Velvet or any other SM artist, just buy them.

After looking around, we found a halal Indian restaurant called Luna Asia. Ngl, the food was alright. For Muslims, y’all could go for this!

We then took Samseong station again and arrived at Apgujeongrodeo station to go to The Mins! Some might not know, but this cafe is famous for treating some kpop idols, including BTS! (don’t @ me let me live i am an avid fan) So we took exit () and walked all the way down. The Mins was inside so you have to get into the neighborhood to find it. (Better descriptions are in the link I added @ The Mins)

The place was really cute from the outside and inside. OH, I forgot to mention, 2AM’s Changmin owns this cafe! Pretty legit. I also think I might’ve met his parents there too, because I heard that his parents do work there. I only noticed that once I got out of the cafe.... rip.

ANYWAYS, I ordered the Four Berry drink..... aka what BTS usually orders (yes shut up). It was really good anyway.

In the plus side, cool stuff on their walls! BTS posters, and signed albums from many other celebs like SISTAR, Gfriend and lots more! (you can also get to sit where BTS have sat before hehehehhehehe)

Later, we went to K-Star Road to visit all the big figures??? dolls??? idk what to call them. But yeah, we went and obviously had to find BTS’ one.

We were tired af and basically done all we wanted to do (except visiting JYP or YG Entertainment :(((() so we went back to our hotel.

After a few hours of rest in the hotel, we still had energy so we thought of not wasting time by going N Seoul Tower by using the Namsan Cable Car. It was a nice view from the hill but I feel it would be better during daylight?? Since it was winter I think it’ll look prettier during daylight. SORZ FOR NO PHOTO I WAS HALF DEAD THAT NIGHT KSKFKSHFJKSF

Anyways, we found this halal restaurant at this close knit neighborhood in Seoul called Yang Good (Yangguk) and boy...... they had GR8 meat. 11/10 recommended.

OKKKK IM SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG OVERDUE POST but yes here’s day 2. I’ll try my best to do the other days asap (at least before my new sem starts sigh) BYE GIRLIES ANF GUYLIES!!!!

#seoul #seoul travel #bts #bangtan boys #big hit entertainment #bangtan sonyeondan #smtown #sm coex artium #namsan #seoul tower #halal #halalfood #halaltourism #halaldestination #blogging #travelling

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technogunblade · 7 years

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-Begin message-

hiii, roxyyy….its jade

weve got a bit of a problem going on here? its nothing for you to pack up and immediately act on, but its certainly something you should be aware of like right now

its about dave

he just got back from a job from what im certain is one of the more dangerous worlds and im not even absolutely sure it was because he wont tell me but

roxy you know how much i like to be right, right?

well it fucking sucks right now because i think karkat and i are RIGHT about him, and yes it does have to do with what i asked you to talk to him about

he came back with something hanging over him!! this dark, creepy looking silhouette that hung over him and seemed to originate from his shadow!! it was big, transparent, and had these really creepy wings

i couldnt see a lot of detail other that but

somethings up, and weve got to deal with it when you get back!! dirk and i havent exactly been all that honest with you and were really sorry about that - at least, i am and i have no idea if dirk even is but

im not asking you to leave wasteland!! you guys kind of have to be there right now!! im just letting you know in case you have SOME suggestions as to what to do!

….

yeah thats all i had to say, i dont want dave finding out i called you

kind of afraid he might blow up at me with how VOLATILE hes been lately

talk to you later, roxy!

-End of message-

Roxy let her hand fall limply on her lap, the hold on her phone loose as it quietly recited the voice mail options. She stared off into the long-ruined metro storage room she snuck away to, trying to process all that Jade just laid on her.

The description of the... thing that Dave had with him brought back adrenaline-fuzzy, trauma-muddled memories from years ago. The fall of the Circle, Dirk beaten-- dying --and trapped by Noir, her having to fight off that horrific Guardian of his in order to save her best friend’s life, the suffocating darkness that followed her sacrifice.

She shook her head quickly, refusing to let those thoughts fester again.

Guardian.

Dave had a Guardian.

Only humanoid heartless are capable of having one, and even then it takes an extreme negative dark influence to condone it’s creation. It’s extremely rare, even rarer than an humanoid heartless.

Numbly she saved the message, forcing herself to breathe properly again, having to settle for shaky at best, near-hyperventilation at worst.

No one had told her that Dave might be a heartless, only that he’d been acting strangely and using dark affiliated magic more freely. She had even seen it herself when they sparred for fun that one weekend.

She had a feeling this might’ve been the case, and had hoped she was terribly wrong. It could’ve just been the affiliation being stronger now, the stress of a falling world waking it-- it was a stupid excuse of a wish, in retrospect, it couldn’t explain everything and she knew that.

Optimism and denial went hand in hand and had fucking clotheslined her. Again.

But she couldn’t do anything about that yet, not until they got home. God fucking dammit.

...What did Jade mean by her and Dirk not being honest? What had they kept from her now? They had already tried to keep the surgery from her, only finding out thanks to Hal ratting them out.

...

It had taken Dirk a month to recover fully and return home, and he came back an absolute zombie of himself. No patient should come home that exhausted unless they did more than healing, went outside of standard doctor’s orders to do Gods know what else. Whatever they did secretly was during that time, Roxy was sure of it.

And “you guys kind of have to be there right now”? The hell does she mean by that? They had come here for fun! ...Hadn’t they?

Now that she stopped to think on it, it was weird that Dirk easily accepted her request all of a sudden, and so soon after recovering, too. He seemed eager, which was hardly synonymous with his normal reaction to Wasteland.

He... Oh Gods, he got along with “Tony” and “Lara”, was fine talking to them, traveling and joking around with them. He hated interacting with strangers normally, shut down and put walls up around people he didn’t know, especially people as dangerous as Wastelanders. But he’s been laughing and chatting it up, leaving himself open to them as far as he could with their cover story, friendly as he can get.

...Her-- his --phone has been missing since December, around the time he had started leaving the castle more, going to the Islands only a little while later for his eyes.

Dirk took back his old phone. Dirk must know who Tony and Lara really are, if he’s acting like this, and has probably known far longer than Roxy has.

Dirk remembers Jake and Jane.

Jade knows that, too, if that cryptic comment says anything.

For fuck’s sake, Jade had even yelled about them during New Year’s, and Dirk didn’t even react! Those two have known this entire time, have been hiding it from her this entire time, have lied this entire time. White lies are still lies, half-truths are still lies.

They must be here for Jake and Jane, that’s why Dirk was eager to come and that’s what that weird comment of Jade’s must mean. The timing of the sugery, and the long recovery time, the exhaustion--

Roxy... couldn’t get mad at them for any of that, honestly. At least not too mad right now.

There were more important things to worry about: getting Jake and Jane the hell out of here and somewhere safe, and helping Dave as soon as that’s done.

Letting out another shaky breath, the distressed waver of it leaving her feeling absolutely pitiful, she tried to calm down, tried to press back the wall of emotion that threatened to leave her eyes in tears and mouth in curses.

“...Ffffuuuuuckkkk--”

Well that failed.

Roxy bit back against everything, even as stray drops fell onto her lap, her body shaking in the effort not to let it out. She couldn’t, not right now, not yet. They were still in Wasteland, she had no proper explanation if they found her breaking down, no cover to take that’d keep away their worries and questions.

She’d have to talk with Dirk later, when they were alone. About Dave, of course, and without the help of the voicemail. Not out of pettiness(alright, maybe a bit), but because of the cryptic confession in it. She... didn’t know how to approach that topic, her guilt over keeping something like that from him making her too scared to even try, winning over her anger by a landslide. She’d leave it to him or Jake and Jane to bring it up, if they even could tell it was them between Jake’s worsened sight and Jane’s amnesia.

Gods, this was a fucking mess.

Longing for nothing more than a bath and Eridan’s pile, Roxy pulled herself together again, wiping away at her eyes and pocketing her phone. She stayed there a few minutes longer, getting her breathing to settle and her face to cool, making sure they’d have no clue she nearly broke down in a post-apocalyptic closet of all places.

She gathered up her things, grabbed the supplies she used as an excuse to come here, and put on a brave face(you don’t grow up as a Strilalonde and not learn something like that). Skipping out of the storage room as if she wasn’t carrying the dual baggage she was, Roxy called out about her finds proudly, nearly tripping over an old ghoul cadaver in the process.

“Hey, check out what I got--!”

“SHIT, FUCK-- ...I’m fine!”

#submission #technologicalgambler #roxy ic;#((everything is a mess including rox. help my daughter she keeps covering up meltdowns))#((she's also v smart and put it aaaaaaall together))#((...eri come get ur rail she needs u))#((hi this is set before the current thread. for reasons))

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x4f0wrcg-blog · 5 years

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How much money will I pay to my insurance with my G2?

how much money will I pay to my insurance with my G2? what it can be the difference if I got a driver certificated? just say a number that you think i will pay without a certificated and then with certificated..I have a G2 I m 21 years old and the car is a bmw 96 year ,4 doors thank you

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :CARINSURANCEQUOTESHQ.XYZ

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